#(( i hope you don't mind ))

[fudgelling-away]

Thank you, @face-me-like-an-uwu for your donation to @ut-against-genocide! 🍉🍉🍉

I took on your request because I love the Waterfall region as well. Thank you for the opportunity!

[little-pup-pip]

hello! could i request a masc leaning moodboard with a no deco paci and darker colours +some skateboard related things please?

Sure!!

[xxwelxx]

The Boring Ones <33

[morag-renart]

I've been following such a beautiful aerti fic that i just HAD to draw them. This image stuck to my mind and wouldn't leave until it was done. That scene was absolutely fenomenal!!

Tried a different shading style, the perspective was a hell to draw and probably it doesn't make too much sense, but something is better than nothing when you want to create!

You can support my work with a Kofi I'd really appreciate it c:

[earth-fan]

@same-pic-of-the-earth-everyday I made lemon pound cake for you :>

[diana-bluewolf]

Ngl, this sketch was originally supposed to be Sebastian (LOL), but as I continued drawing, I realized he was shaping up to be very familiar, so I just went with it. Chris has apparently invaded my thoughts. <3

OMG! You have just started your art journey, and you drew THIS?! That's soooo cool!!! This fandom really is magical, and your dedication to hone a new skill and practise a lot and systematically is very admirable!👏 Thank you thank you thank you, it warmed my heart so much! You're doing really great, please keep drawing! 💙 💙 💙 

Sebastian: Well, Chris, I have to admit, you are quite handsome. Only in this picture, of course. Just because it was supposed to be me. Otherwise, I can't see how YOU turned up to be that good-looking.

Chris: If you have such a high opinion of your appearance, I have bad news for you - none of us don't even come close to being as well-proportioned as Ominis. 

Sebastian: … How can you say something like this while still being oblivious?

Chris: About what?

Sebastian: Nevermind…

[wordsofwilderness]

What do you think james love language would be? And regulus as well?

I don't think it is possible to contain the man that James Potter is to only one love language. Oh no, he'd be finding new and creative ways to combine them all together. Thoughtful gifts with somehow even more thoughtful love notes attached with all the words of affirmation? Say no more, James is on it.

Regulus on the other hand is more complicated. It hard for him to express his love so he prefers ways in which it can be unspoken. Nearly invisible, but that only means it takes a keener eye to spot it, not that it isn't there. Little acts of service that anyone who wasn't looking wouldn't notice. His love is in how he makes sure to throw a blanket over James and tuck it in whenever James falls asleep on the couch. It's in how he knows how James likes his tea before they even got together just by being observant.

Regulus need words of affirmation more than he needs air, which James of course is more than happy to provide.

[comikadraws]

Hello. I really like your analysis of the political stuff in naruto, and I just read your latest one in regard to Hashirama's odd neutrality towards 'the curse of hatred™'. But I kind of want to know now: could you say the same about Kishimoto himself? Does he agree with the 'curse' in a simular vein as H.? Or is H. a deliberately flawed character rather than something that the narrative primarily sides with? (because that's the impression I've got but it's been a while, so idk, I didn't really get the nuance of the plot in the way that you explore when I first watched it)

Authorial Intent and the Curse of Hatred

Okay, so I've got like ten other Naruto asks in my inbox but I will prioritize this one real quick because it is actually very central to a lot of my posts. I already went a little bit into this mess when I analyzed the "Curse of Hatred", but I feel like this topic deserves a post of its own.

This particular part of the discussion leaves the confines of Naruto as a fictional universe entirely and instead delves into the realms of authorial intent analysis and criticism.

My TL;DR is Kishimoto very much intended for the "Curse of Hatred" to be real and the narrative sides with Hashirama and Tobirama (and that is problematic). In the longer version, I am particularly focusing on Tobirama as he is the founder of the Uchiha Clan Genetic Theories™.

I also apologize in advance because pointing out Kishimoto's shortsighted writing is something I have gotten harassed over in the past. Hence I believe some theoretic knowledge is needed.

<Analysis under the cut>

Note: As always, blue links are external links or other people's posts. Red links are my own posts that add context to my thought process.

The problem with Kishimoto's intent is that the guy almost never explains the intention of his writing. This is why discussions like "Was Itachi retconned" or "Does Kishimoto hate Sakura" persist to this day. The only thing we are left with is to instead infer the meaning from other sources (such as the manga itself or minor remarks from interviews).

My conclusion is influenced mainly by four things: The social and political context behind Naruto, Kishimoto's usual treatment of sensitive topics, the narrative of the manga itself, and fantasy genre conventions.

But before all that, here's a little info dump.

Death of the Author

In opposition to the idea that the "Curse of Hatred" is real in canon stands the idea that it was just Tobirama's racist propaganda piece - and this is actually a fairly widespread thought. Not necessarily a misconception, however, as it depends on your school of thought when it comes to engaging with fictional text - Extreme intentionalism (full submission to the author's intent), Anti-intentionalism (complete disregard of the author's intent), or anything in between. While extreme intentionalism can probably be considered the "truest to canon" (as opposed to anti-intentionalism, which is more like a subjective interpretation or "headcanon") it is also incredibly limiting to our fandom experience.

Before I continue this, I need people to understand that both approaches are valid. Especially in instances in which the author's intent translates very poorly into our contemporary understanding of the world, as is the case with the "Curse of Hatred". Both authorial intent and the audience's interpretation are vital puzzle pieces when engaging with a piece of media critically.

To clarify, I do not support Kishimoto's writing decisions in this. I am not pushing an anti-Uchiha clan agenda. What I am going for is analyzing Kishimoto's intended canon. As I have already pointed out, it is a canon that is problematic and nobody should be forced to submit to.

With that out of the way, back to the main topic.

Social and Political Context of Naruto

Personally, I believe it is possible that Kishimoto intended to portray themes of prejudice in his story. Mostly in the sense in which people get defined for their worst character traits (as we can see when comparing Tobirama's and Hashirama's characterization of the Uchiha Clan).

I do not believe, however, that he was aiming for racism specifically - and definitely not for scientific racism, let alone eugenic ideologies. And this has a lot to do with Japan's lack of sensitivity when it comes to racism.

For starters, Japan has a very ethnically homogenous society with about 98% of its population being ethnically Japanese and therefore having one of the lowest diversity scores in the world. On top of that, Japan has no national human rights institutions or laws against racial discrimination. The Japanese population is rather unsensitized to themes of racism.

To not turn this into a fallacy of composition, a different user pointed out that Naruto (as a story) was possibly influenced by Japan's reactionary right-wing movement (possibly revealing Kishimoto's own political standing). The movement responded to an increase in anti-Japanese sentiment across Asia. Said sentiment was sparked by a controversy in which Japan omitted its war crimes (which is a well-known pattern in Japanese politics).

At the very least, it is correct that Naruto is very pro-state in its way of protecting the state's reputation by hiding its crimes from the public consciousness. Kishimoto himself demonstrates an incomplete understanding of Japan's war history by unintentionally paralleling WW2 crimes in his story or claiming that the war was the result of mere grudges when, in reality, it was racism and imperialist ideologies.

While this is just my hypothesis, Kishimoto's lack of political and social awareness could easily influence his perception of social injustices, such as racism. Insensitivity, meanwhile, might reduce any motivation to engage with such themes.

Inadequate Realization of Sensitive Storylines

This might actually be less of a hypothesis when we look at Kishimoto's repeated failure to address sensitive topics in his writing with dignity and/or a critical lens. I've also ranted about this in an older post.

We are talking about child soldiers and death matches between children (Chunin Exams), slavery (Hyuga Clan), human experimentation (Orochimaru), genocide (Uchiha Massacre), and the invasion of neutral territory (Amegakure). In all of these cases, crimes are not further acknowledged than a brief admittance of "damage was done" before the plot forgets about them entirely.

Chunin exams? Never talked about again. Slavery? Naruto promised to change the Hyuga clan but never mentions it again. Human experimentation? Orochimaru is welcomed back after his exile. Genocide? Addressing that might tarnish the Uchiha Clan's reputation. So we don't. Invasion of neutral territory? We never see Amegakure again after Konan's passing.

It is a larger pattern in which social injustice is primarily introduced to add flavor in the form of "tragic backstories" but not actually to resolve it. We are supposed to condemn those tragedies, to feel sympathetic - but we are not supposed to criticize Konoha as a main perpetrator, enabler, or apologist.

To me, it doesn't seem like Kishimoto ever truly cared about those social issues.

The Manga's Narrative

The story does not engage critically with itself. And frankly, it also does not demand such critical thinking from its readers either.

In the manga, we are often presented with incorrect or incomplete exposition from unreliable narrators. Obito lies all the time, Madara gets the wrong story from Zetsu, Itachi gets the wrong story from who-knows-where, and Sasuke doesn't know what's going on half the time. The interesting part is how the truth behind those lies is usually uncovered.

Usually, we do not know that any of them are perpetuating a lie until said lie gets corrected by another character. Said character is usually a "source" in the sense that they have personally experienced the (until then) falsified events.

It is very rare that the audience gets to pick up on little clues to realize that a character is lying. One such instance is when Obito directly contradicts Itachi in his rendition of the story. But even then, the conflict between their two renditions gets resolved by a "source" character in the form of Kushina retelling the events from sixteen years ago.

Now, let's compare this to the "Curse of Hatred".

I have already mentioned this in another post (where I analyzed the curse and its contents), but the "Curse of Hatred" is first officially introduced by Obito. He focuses on the Uchiha's war-torn history. Tobirama more or less builds on that, adding his hypothesis about the Uchiha Clan's Sharingan and its effect on the user. Then Hagoromo adds some things about the reincarnation cycle that might play into this. In the end, Zetsu wraps it all up by revealing that he manipulated the Uchiha Clan for centuries.

The problem is that not one of these puzzle pieces contradicts the other. Therefore, no lie gets officially "disproven" in the story itself. Tobirama's Theories are treated as though they were perfectly fine fact that does not require revision.

We can further infer Tobirama's credibility on the matter by judging the present characters' reactions.

Hashirama, as explained in my previous post, tolerates if not accepts Tobirama's ideas. Orochimaru shows himself hostile toward Tobirama but does not take the chance to contradict him. Sasuke, who is an Uchiha and has personal experience with the Sharingan, shows no signs of protest. Skepticism, yes, but it slowly fades away until he seemingly accepts Tobirama's words as truth. He does not even attempt to argue against it.

Add to that that Tobirama is generally presented as a truthful character, described as "rational" and "principled" in the databook. He regularly criticizes or insults other characters without the bat of an eye, seemingly having no problem with tarnishing his own reputation, unconcerned with keeping up false appearances. He is not the type of character to lie.

Yes, Tobirama comes off as a bigot regardless, but that's because he's essentially an asshole and not because he is actually intended to be racist.

Fantasy Fiction Conventions

In fantasy, none of what Tobirama says is actually uncommon. In fact, if anything, his theories concerning the Sharingan resemble popular fantasy tropes.

In Anime, many powers are awakened through trauma. This is called "Traumatic Superpower Awakening". The Sharingan is just one of many offenders, even in the story of Naruto. This reflects Tobirama's idea that the Sharingan is triggered through great emotional pain.

It is also a common trope that characters who gain too much power eventually go insane. This is called the "With Great Power Comes Great Insanity" trope and reflects the Uchihas' to essentially take away psychic damage alongside each newly awakened Sharingan power. Kishimoto just specifically linked that insanity or pain to the Sharingan (which represents the power of the Uchiha).

Yet another trope is the "Personality Powers" trope. This one can be seen in the Uchiha Clan's tendency to feel deep love and hate - at least one of which is essential for the awakening of a Mangekyo Sharingan (and, depending on the circumstances, a regular Sharingan). Hence Tobirama calls it "the eyes that reflect the heart". In other words, the personality facilitates the power.

Last but not least, we've got the fantasy races trope. The author invents a race and then assigns it distinct characteristics (both physiology and behavior-wise).

In its most extreme cases, this can be used to create an "enemy race" (such as orcs, vampires, demons, etc.) for the good guys to fight. It usually removes complexity from the story by dumbing down the enemy to simply just being "born evil".

Now, notice how the Uchiha Clan's Hatred could be considered a reflection of Kishimoto's idea that wars are caused by grudges? Furthermore, Kishimoto makes that comment at a point in time (February 2012) when all three main antagonists of the story are Uchihas (Madara is revived in chapter 559, which was released October 2011), and then releases Tobirama's theory a year later (February 2013).

This one, unlike the other three, is particularly controversial as fantasy races often get conflated with real-life ethnicities. This is not always the intention of the author, however, as they often never intended to portray racial stereotypes. For two particularly popular examples, take a look at Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" or Itagaki's "Beastars".

On one hand of this debate, you have that fantasy races are unlike human ethnicities and do not necessarily reflect reality, simply because the author decides what is real in canon or not and because fantasy is always a lie from a real-world perspective. Hence the Curse of Hatred, or rather, Tobirama's Theory is canon.

On the other, fiction does not exist in a vacuum and it is impossible not to apply our contemporary understanding of racism and ignore what are otherwise screaming red flags of racist ideology. Hence we recognize Tobirama's explanation as racism and wish to reject the Curse of Hatred as a concept.

But these two ideas can coexist.

The problem is just that Kishimoto likely only accounted for one thing and not the other. His intention translated very poorly into our contemporary understanding of the world, making Tobirama (and therefore, Hashirama as well) the victim of short-sighted writing.

Who cares anyway?

In the beginning, I explained that regardless of what Kishimoto intended for his story, any interpretation is valid. So why should we care about what the author thinks?

In my analyses (which are separate from my headcanons), I will usually take an "Extreme Intentionalism" approach in which I prioritize the author's intent over the reader's interpretation. Not because I am opposed to the idea that the reader's interpretation is relevant to the meaning of a text but because readers' interpretations are unique to the individual. Focusing on such an individual interpretation can easily alienate those who don't share it. Hence I like to focus on something that is more informative, almost objective in nature, such as the author's likely intended canon - which people can then mould into whatever suits their headcanon best.

I have also noticed that, sometimes, anti-intentionalist takes will devolve into full-blown lies (sometimes with the purposeful intention of omitting canon). This lie can then be upheld in an attempt to condemn or rather bully those with intentionalist interpretations. This unwittingly protects the writer (as well as problematic writing conventions) from criticism.

This is why I think even Anti-Intentionalists should inform themselves of an author's intention. This is, more or less, an aspect of media literacy as it allows us to identify biased or manipulative narratives and take purposeful action. In our case, this involves questioning and criticizing Kishimoto as an individual, raising awareness about his writing's shortcomings, and learning from his mistakes.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Hey Mousy!

I was thinking about how reckless the farmer can be, you know, fighting monsters, overworking to maintain a farm, and even being a guinea pig for others.

But despite all that, the farmer stays alive (CofcofPoweroftheScrollandMr.Qicofcof)

But, how do you think the villagers would react to the news of the farmer's death?

Oh, pain... 🥲 Thank you for ask, Shiro 🫶

_________________________________________

It was rare to catch a conversation between Marlon and Lewis, but the old adventurer had come to the town mayor's home... with tragic news. Marlon himself was as gloomy as a dark cloud. The news he brought had shocked the equally old Pelican Town Mayor.

They're.... dead? In the mines?

Merciful Yoba.... But, they came here as farmer, why did they have to go into the most dangerous place?...

The next ones to be shocked were Dr. Harvey, who stated Farmer's official death, and Maru, who was helping him. The young inventor gasped in horror: seeing Farmer's body had made her sick, so Harvey had to do almost everything himself. All this was late at night, and just the next day in the afternoon, Maru was to meet her girlfriends at Haley and Emily's house to discuss various gossip. And Maru (unfortunately), also got some news.....

All the girls gasped after hearing this, Penny even dropped her tea cup from shock. Abigail turned even paler, because just yesterday she had begged Farmer to take her to the mines, but Farmer had politely refused her. Perhaps, because of this, they had saved her from death...

Pelican Town is a small town, and news of the death spread like the plague. Caroline and Pierre learned everything from their daughter, truly regretting the death of the young farmer. And even though Pierre was not close to them and for him it is, in fact, just the loss of another client, he does not wish anyone such a terrible fate, to die young, alone...

Gus didn't turn on the music machine in the Saloon, also giving himself over to mourning the loss of a member of their commune. Let the others not be fooled by the rather stale reaction of Shane, Alex, and George in calling the farmer a fool. They just don't know how to react to the loss of a loved one again.

It would seem that Clint couldn't have gotten any sadder than his usual state, but when the only person he considered a true friend dies... It's painful.

It's pain for Robin to construct a gravestone instead of useful buildings for farming. Sebastian, along with Abby and Sam shut themselves in his room in the basement, trying to hide from the pain that way. Vincent didn't understand at first why his parents sat sad, but Jas immediately realized why Aunt Marnie's eyes were red. She understood why Uncle Willy had taken off his hat as he saluted the dead farmer.

Everyone was at the funeral, mourning the young farmer. As dusk descended on the Valley, no one noticed several figures standing near the fresh grave. No one saw how Marlon placed their sword beside the grave, how Rasmodius made the flowers beside the grave grow, decorating it with a single movement of his hand. And how quietly Linus stood, whispering a farewell to the young soul who had not been afraid to go into danger to protect the people of Stardew Valley.

[mari-lair]

Idk of u read the new chapter yet BUT these two panels look ODDLY similar...do u think teru and natsuhiko have similar powers or something?

I have a theory that is very out there, but since you asked my opinion...

Not only do I think there is similarity to their powers, I would go as far as to say Natsuhiko is part exorcist.

Exorcist blood has always been special. We see Teru open a gate between boundaries in chapter 70, and Yorimitsu used his blood to make a contract with No.6, so their blood has influence over the supernatural.

Natsuhiko is treated as a normal student, a living being: Everyone in Nene’s class can see him, he is part of class 2-D, and acts as if participating in the school festival is normal, unlike Sakura.

There is also this official art of him with a sword, which so far in the manga only exorcists have 'weapons'.

Natsuhiko does not exorcise supernaturals though, he lives with them, many of his quirks making him seem inhuman. And I personally don't think exorcists are fully human, they must have some supernatural blood in their lineage, some deep connection.

Minamotos are inclined to like supernaturals despite being tasked to eliminate them. Hanako is basically the personification of supernaturals to Kou but the young exorcist overall sees him as a friend, Tiara got attached to a Mokke, and even Yorimitsu, who had heavily implied there is something wrong with his emotional attachment, took a liking to No.6. He stayed with the demon on his death bed.

Humans also don’t have fangs, no matter how dramatic the manga paneling can get, only supernaturals and the Minamotos have fangs.

 Exorcists can eat monster's body parts without needing to make a contract, so while they have spiritual energy that is destructive to supernaturals, and resistance to their power, their body doesn't reject supernaturals and their influence.

Exorcists are built to give a lot of damage to supernaturals and protect humans, it is heavily implied their spiritual energy can’t hurt humans, but who can they hurt? Half humans, and themselves.

And Natsuhiko’s blood hurt supernaturals, not humans. Possibly himself too, since it is the first time he actually commented on how it's 'painful' to do this despite being thrown in deadly and hurtful situations a lot. (tho it could just be pain from the cut, I still find it strange he comments it's painful.)

He is influenced by rumors which is a supernatural trait, not a human one, and Minamotos are not affected by rumors.

...Or are they?

Since i’m already going wild, i’ll throw another out of pocket theory here: Teru does gain powers by rumor, that’s where his astronomical popularity comes from.

The other character we are told to be ‘the peak of beauty’ in this manga is Aoi, who was unnaturally beautiful since young, and attracted attention even as a toddler. While Teru seems isolated, not just from an ‘I'm not normal’ perspective.

But he got a popularity jump so big at some point that both boys and girls are interested, able to loudly proclaim their love, his beauty is so amazing it overshadows Aoi's, to the point, someone suggested they made a Teru pavilion. A pavilion that has a BIG line.

His beauty is the first thing we learn about Teru: His introduction is as a ‘handsome and dreamy boy’,  not as an exorcist or any of his main traits, because that’s what Nene, and most of the school, sees him as.

Such hypnotizing beauty mysteriously disappears outside school. He has no fans or stalkers on the streets, and absolutely no one that isn’t from school ever comments on his beauty. Which is not the case with Aoi. 

I know people have always been more respectful to Teru than to Aoi (misogyny is a bitch) but this is not just a change of approach caused by respect, Teru has no admirers at all in the city. Aoi is beautiful outside school too, people can’t help but stare and want her, it is a genuine problem she always had, but Teru, who should make everyone swoon regardless of gender or how weird he acts, is not worth even passing comments, he is treated as a normal guy outside school. A pretty boy, sure, but nothing special.

[lastlymatt]

Yeah tv!Alex is so different and honestly I think in a good way!

Book!Alex was always like, 'ugh I hate working for MI6, why do they keep dragging me in, I just want a normal life, I don't care that much about a random person in danger'.

Tv!Alex is like 'I don't care about skipping school to go save the world because I care that people are going to get hurt and the department is doing jack shit so I feel a responsibility to do the right thing'.

It's very different and I think TV!Alex has a lot more compassion and care in him and wants to help others and would sacrifice himself for the greater good. He is his father's son, and I think it makes a lot of sense that way, and I like how morally strong he is in the show, and a lot more mature.

Not that I dislike book!Alex, of course I love him, but he's definitely more of a 'kid', which while accurate to his age, I do like watching a more adult and mature Alex. (tbf though I haven't read the new books yet so idk if his characterization has changed)

I hope we do get a post-uni show with the same crew and we get to see Adult!Alex working for the department.

While you're absolutely right about how book!Alex is more of a 'kid' and very reluctant to go on whatever mission of the week, TV!Alex feels far more naive and innocent than his book counterpart despite being older.

Because book!Alex does come through when the threat is real. He wants to protect people and the world, just not when he's being blackmailed into it. He cares enough that he willingly puts himself in danger for a boy he barely knows in Ark Angel without anyone prompting him to.

A lot of the time, he saves people or goes after villains because he knows that MI6 is useless. They demonstrated that over and over again to him while TV!Alex hunts them down to get them to do something before being smacked in the face with the reality of the Department.

I will say he is absolutely more stubborn about going back to school and staying 'normal' than TV!Alex, but again, that is because MI6 keeps pulling him back.

TV!Alex gets blackmailed by Blunt once. A car doesn't show up in front of his house or school every other week, so he can be shipped all over the world to almost die for some goal he barely comprehends. He isn't forced into dangerous fabricated situations where he has to turn to MI6 for help in exchange for doing their dirty work.

TV!Alex instead goes through one harrowing experience and is then told to forget it ever happened. He isn't beaten down and almost murdered every other Tuesday, so of course, he has a stronger hold on his morals but he isn't the mature one here.

In fact, he seems incredibly naive when he thinks he can waltz into a criminal organisation, get his revenge on the Department, and go back home as if nothing happened.

Book!Alex tells Scorpia up front that he could never be a killer, but he still participates in all the lessons like he's told to and seems to have a better understanding of his situation despite not having both Nile and Yassen laying it out clearly for him.

I think book!Alex is also far more willing to join up with Scorpia because of how awful MI6 is to him compared to TV!Alex's Department. He also goes into his first conversation with Rothman, just wanting to know more about his father. Of course, the fourteen-year-old idiot would go with the people who are "honest" with him and treat him with more respect (and I say this as someone who cannot read anything where Alex stays with Scorpia)

TV!Alex goes in with the idea that he can somehow destroy Scorpia, but he gets manipulated from the moment he contacts them. He runs on the grief and need for revenge that Scorpia injects him with almost the entire time he's there.

They're both their fathers' sons, but their arcs are very different. One is very drawn out, and the other is cut short with a happy ending.

(This is very personal speculation, but I think that if the TV series had continued and Alex's family had been "killed" just like Jack in Scorpia Rising, then Alex would've also absolutely shot someone)

So yeah... very different characters with different arcs. The comparison gets a bit murkier because of the different mediums, but I hope I got my point across.

I'm very curious what they would do with an adult!Alex because they'd have to come up with completely new material for that, and it would remove one of the main aspects of Alex Rider that I enjoy, namely that he's a kid who shouldn't be there.

Personally, I just want an adaptation of Russian Roulette.

[inklessletter]

Confession time: I actually gave you a brush of this in previous confession times, but making the masterlist post I have just realized how brutally confident I just grew this June.

It's silly, but I'm getting emotional because of it. About eighteen months ago I started taking classes of digital art, although I've been drawing all my life, at some point I just stopped and it was suddenly ten years since I last picked up a pen and paper. I never, ever, have done digital art before last year.

It was good for me, I grew confident and I started showing what I did. I have very old folders full with traditional drawings since I was a little munchkin, but I have never shown those before in public. I wanted to take that back, the skill, the willing, the inspiration.

Last year I made some friends because of this artistic spree, but it ended up real bad. Like, real, real bad. Abandoning my nickname and fleeing social media for months bad. Going back to not showing my stuff in public. Losing everything I have been building up slowly, and that's how I got here.

I needed to leave my own mind behind and find something that gave me comfort and closure, so I came back to Stranger Things, something I liked in the loneliness of my bedroom, something that it felt like mine because no one around me loved it so much. I started reading fanfics, I've got a folder in my e-book with more than 200 of them (97% steddie). Then I started to feel that maybe I needed to take out some venom of my system, and I started writing some, even if it wasn't in my native language and I was terrified of making mistakes, because I just got the lesson that people hiding behind screens and shielded by anonymity could be ruthless, and cruel, and won't bat an eye if someone blatantly breaks you publicly.

But that didn't happen, and even if I had no range, I felt better writing, so I kept doing it. It felt like finally healing.

I eventually picked up the digital pencil again, believe me, with a lot of fear, after months of my last drawing. I'm talking from August to March. I just didn't want another ten years without drawing to pass. It felt like a baby step. A terrifying, unsure and shaking baby step.

I just didn't realize until today, making the masterlist, that I have done sixteen full illustrations in June. Sixteen. That's one (and a little bit) every two days. That's half a month drawing nonstop in my free time.

I don't know when I fell in love with it again.

I don't know many things.

But I know one: I'm grateful to be here, growing a little bit fearless everyday of just being me.

So, if you actually bothered to read all the way down here, let me thank you for being nice to a stranger. Keep doing it, you never know how much someone you don't know can be affected by a single nice act.

[nattousan]

@larvaloach 食べましょうか？

[zeroducks-2]

Okay but Zero. Zero Zero Zero. Service top Eo. Collared and worked up and panting on the end of a leash. Gripping the bottom’s hips and leaving claw marks as he tries to maintain the self control not to fuck them at the pace he wants to.

Let me welcome you to another episode of "You sent me a prompt but then my brain decided to do This Other Thing instead, really sorry about that".

(TW: NSFW, mutual noncon, dehumanization, long post)

The heavy loop attached to the front of his collar goes up and down as he rocks, keeping himself hilted in the wet heat of the Omega chained below him. “Slowly”, they said. “No knotting”. He trembles with the need to just snap his hips up but doesn’t, ignoring pleading mewls and begging little croons. The Omega is in heat, their scent glands swollen and inviting, but they said “no touching” and so Eobard keeps both palms planted to the sides of their head and keeps rocking, his claws painfully scraping against the metal slab the Omega has been strapped to.

«He seems so well behaved.»

«Indeed… this is one of our most fertile bitches and your boy is not even trying to smell them.»

Eobard barely hears the voices, focused on the way the Omega pants and starts to slowly arch up, their sex starting to clamp down. “No knotting”, that’s what he’s been told. He pulls back a little and arches as well, moving more quickly but without bottoming out, and the Omega chimes for him with a wordless plea. 

The weight of the collar reminds him that he needs to focus on something else, so he looks down, and their breasts say “five eight, for two”. They come from a facility too. Who knows who they were, before. The blue shackles around their forearms, not unlike the ones Eobard wears, suggest meta abilities but maybe they don’t even remember they possess them; their eyes are glassy, no light of understanding in them as they rock back in their bindings with breathless little moans. Do they remember their name…? He’s breathing hard too, he wants to paw at them and grab their chin to expose their neck, and bury himself into their heat, and-

He’s been told “no touching”, so he just leans down and his long hair brushes the sides of the Omega’s face, that’s not touching. They look up and arch as much as they can, whining, trying to reach him and breathe into his hair.

«Does he have an implant?» Another voice from the other side of the glass. 

«Absolutely not, we never use spinal implants. They shorten the lifespan of our products and reduce their fertility.»

Shocked murmurs from behind the glass. People are often so surprised to hear he has no implant.

«Take a look at his genetics.» Someone is saying and Eobard hasn’t been told he can stop, but he does it anyway. 

His shallow breathing slows down and the Omega below him struggles for a few moments but then quiets down as well, their eyes lidded and teary with overstimulation. His tamer is likely still focused on their intercourse but if he does this correctly it will look like he’s back to rocking his hips. 

«My god these are… flawless.» Someone else replies. «He was produced with nothing but quality in mind.»

«Indeed one of our best studs. Regardless of who you’ll pair him with, he’s bound to produce either a bitch or another stud.» 

More murmurs. They speak more about “three one, four three”. Eobard knows it’s him; he tends to forget those numbers but by this point he’s learned, and even the memory of when they got etched onto his skin has kind of dulled at this point. He needs to resume moving, and when he does the Omega's whine is so high-pitched it cuts the chit chat from behind the glass. He leans down more and rumbles so quietly, his instinct demanding he comforts the struggling little thing, but he can’t do that. No touching and no knotting, do everything slowly, show how good he is. 

Soon they order him off, and the quiet cries the Omega makes, trying to coax him back on top of them, force him to tune himself out of everything and just force his head into a blank space. He blinks back to reality with the interested buyers eyeing him, the Beta female of the couple turning his face this and that way, examining his features. 

«You were mentioning that the price is negotiable.» The Beta male is saying to the seller and he’s close enough, but Eobard stays focused on the woman, red eyes meeting her brown. 

«What’s your name?» She asks with a small smile, conversational. He quietly recites the numbers on his chest. «I’m asking your name, sweetie.» He blinks twice, and recites the numbers again. She offers an endeared look and pats his cheek. 

«We’re buying him.» She says, turning to her companion. «Take this ridiculous collar off and let’s bring him home. His pups will earn us a fortune, and there’s a chance they’ll be redheads too.»

The seller suddenly pales. «Oh, there is no need to remove it-»

«Why?» She reaches behind and easily unclasps the heavy leather from around his neck, and reflexively Eobard swallows over the strange absence of pressure. «What… is this…?»

«That is nothing. It’s just an old marking.»

«You did not mention that he’s mated.» The Beta male is saying, perceptible frustration in his voice. «We aren’t buying branded products.»

«This looks pretty old...» The woman considers with a frown, reaching up to touch the scar tissue on Eobard’s neck. He doesn’t growl. Doesn’t show his fangs, anything like that. He just stares her dead in the eyes, unflinching and unblinking, his expression entirely plain. Her hand pulls back before fingers can actually meet his skin. 

«I can guarantee you there hasn’t been any claim for restitution, either legal or informal. His mate is dead, whoever they were.»

«Then why haven’t you gotten rid of the scar?» The Beta male hisses, now clearly angered. «Let me guess, you tried and did not manage, because he’s still mated. Find someone else to scam.» The couple spins on their heels and leaves, ignoring any attempt of convincing them to buy him for a lowered price. Eobard is not surprised, no one ever buys him regardless of how flawless his performance turns out to be. This will get his tamers quite pissed at him, again, but there isn’t much that he can do about it. And he can’t deny to himself that all that fuss is amusing anyway.

[bluegekk0]

Is the White Lady a unique existence, or is there some sort of species that she is basically a divine exemplar of?

In the AU I imagine she's part of the pantheon of gods of the Hallownest area, alongside The Radiance, Grimm, Unn, as well as The Dream Lord (Grimm and Radi's father) and The Shade Lord, though those two are dead at this point in the timeline (well, The Shade Lord can technically be reborn as we saw with Ghost uniting the void, but it's a veeeery unlikely event, so I consider it dead dead). I also like the idea of there being other gods that either died or prefer to stay away from all The Gods' Plane drama, and simply watch over their domains in peace (perhaps they don't even have physical forms, which would explain why they were never seen).

Of course, there is some hierarchy between those gods - at their peak power, The Radiance and Grimm were the strongest (not counting their father and The Shade Lord), while Unn and The White Lady (perhaps her god name is root? And "The White Lady" is just a title) were much weaker. But after Grimm's banishment, and The Radiance's downfall and eventual death, I think they are somewhat even power wise now.

Since The Radiance and Grimm are connected to dreams and nightmares, what would WL and Unn be gods of? Well, for WL I think something like fertility would fit, considering her desire to breed. And Unn could be connected to nature and wilderness, perhaps she watches over the wildlife population to ensure they are at stable numbers and no manmade (bugmade?) extinction occurs. That could be interesting, especially seeing how closely related both of their domains and responsibilities are. A bit of rivalry that extends past the physical territory conflict would be very tasty.

But to get back to the point - WL is not a member of any species, she's a unique being just like the other gods. That's not to say she didn't have any ancestors, but I wouldn't consider that a species. They're too far removed from the mortals' biology for that to be entirely accurate. The White Lady FPK married was her physical form, and her godly form resides in her own realm. As a side note, I would love to design that form one day, sounds like a fun idea.

This is also another reason why FPK couldn't be considered a true god. He's a member of a species that isn't godly in nature, he doesn't have a godly form, he learned all of his powers and wasn't born with them. He also lacks many of the abilities the gods possess, such as free travel between the mortal and higher planes* (the ability Grimm was stripped of after being banished), the ability to control their fertility and to change shape of their higher form, among others. So next to all of the gods, he was always significantly weaker. But at the same time, what made him unfitting to sit among the pantheon, also made him more relatable to the mortals, which is how he was able to gain so many followers, and why the moth tribe ultimately decided to reject The Radiance in favor of FPK.

So in short. WL is considered a god in the AU. Not powerful enough to stop The Radiance's infection, sadly, but still one of the gods of Hallownest.

I hope this isn't too convoluted, I tried to simplify all the concepts from the game and my inspirations to the best of my ability. It's why i treat "higher being" and "god" as interchangeable, for the sake of convenience. Though the nature of god like creatures is that they're difficult to comprehend, and unfortunately I can relate to that feeling more often than not hahaha

---

* The "dream realm" he disappeared into was something his mind created at the moment he broke down, likely as a subconsciously manifested hiding place for safe hibernation. It used the same essence the gods use to travel between their own realms and the physical world, so it's very likely that he was in possession of a dream nail at the moment it happened. It is also why Grimm was unable to reach him, The Radiance took away his ability to travel between the shared plane and individual realms (with the exception of his own), so he was not able to enter the one FPK manifested

As for why WL did not attempt to visit him, there are two options that I'm debating on. Rither she was unaware of it/was made aware of it but was determined to stay in her bindings for the best of everyone, or FPK's manifested dream realm had some kind of seal that prevented anyone from entering it. I'm leaning more towards the second option (or a combination of both), but I still have to figure out how Ghost was able to enter. Perhaps being in possession of a dream nail helped? It condenses the essence into a small, focused form, so it's possible that was enough to break the seal (it would also tie nicely to the high essence requirement in the game). That, or perhaps the seal weakened over time, but at that point everyone gave up trying to reach him, until Ghost arrived. or maybe it was a bit of both.

[softquietsteadylove]

there can't be enough thenamesh reunion fics!

may i ask for more?

Gilgamesh yanked the Warrior back by the shoulder. She tried to regain her balance but he slammed his fist against her head, creating a gust strong enough to rattle the ship windows. She went down softly.

"Oi!" The Mind Reader was quick to respond to his fallen comrade. They all had a sense of togetherness that Gilgamesh admitted he found absent within his own team (himself, the Soaring Eternal and their Prime).

Ikaris took advantage of the team's sense of protectiveness. He grasped the Speedster's armour collar with his hand, using her as a shield against the puppeteer. He fired his eyes into the dark haired one's armour, sending him through the wall. Then, the Speedster was nothing but a burden.

Gilgamesh winced as she was thrown headfirst to the ground. Ikaris wasn't stronger than him - he knew that for a fact - but he certainly acted more brutally.

"Come on," he muttered in his accent, dragging the body of the Speedster behind him as he floated over to retrieve the Mind Reader as well.

Gilgamesh stared down at the Warrior Eternal. Her body was also limp, but he could feel the Cosmic Energy thrumming within her veins. He could practically feel the rhythm of her heart, if he let himself imagine it. He didn't know what made them so different, according to Arishem.

"You want a hand with 'er or what?" Ikaris snarled at him, piling both of his catches under his arms to bring back to Ajak at the helm of the ship. He was probably just going to sling her over his shoulder, or worse, drag her.

"Go ahead," Gilgamesh grumbled, kneeling down to her. She was his defeat, and his responsibility. Ikaris floated ahead, even banging the Mind Reader's head against the door frame in his lack of care.

Her face looked so peaceful.

Gilgamesh caught himself trying to move her hair away from her face before sighing. He slipped one hand under her arm and shoulders, and the other under her knees. She folded into his grasp so easily he wasn't sure if she weighed anything at all.

"Gil."

He stared down at her, ready for another fight if she was waking again. But as he drew his arms in, all she did was relax against him--him, the enemy. He couldn't imagine why.

But her head rolled to the side, and her tiara even met the cold, hard shell of his chest plate. And yet she had a little smile on her face, as if there were no place she would rather be. He adjusted her a little before making the trip to the head of the ship as well. He did have the courtesy not to smack her head against the door, at least.

She kept calling him Gil.

No one called him that. He didn't even think of himself like that. His name was Gilgamesh, and he was the Strongest Eternal, sent by Arishem to retrieve rogue Eternals who had been tainted by the Deviants of Earth. He had never met this woman before.

But his heart ached in his chest as he carried her.

He felt conflicted fighting her. He had felt awful knocking her out. And he had felt so protective at the thought of Ikaris laying a single hand on her.

"There he is."

Gilgamesh walked in with the Warrior Eternal in his arms. He held her gently, just briefly looking at the other two piled on the floor like litter.

"Well done," Ajak said, observing the difference in technique between him and Ikaris. She waved her glowing hands.

Gilgamesh stepped back slightly as the woman in his arms floated up out of his embrace and upright. The lines of her energy signature formed around her, creating a golden cage in a sense around her.

"These will hold them until we arrive at the World Forge," Ajak clarified as the three bodies floated to their places around the statue of Arishem.

Ikaris joined Ajak again at the front window, discussing their strategy. Those two seemed close but also at odds, in a weird way. Gilgamesh turned away from them, back to the blonde.

She was beautiful.

He wasn't a traitor just for thinking so. He walked closer, looking up at her floating just off the ground. The signature of her Cosmic Energy was weaker, but he could swear he still felt it calling out to him. It was like they were cut from the same cloth.

He reached up, tucking some hair behind her ear and out of his way. It felt familiar, in a terrifying way. Her eyes didn't even flutter. Not that he wanted her to wake up.

Gilgamesh looked back at his teammates, but they were whispering among themselves. They weren't any more concerned with him than he was about them. And that was just fine. They were a team, not some cobbled together family unit.

He looked up at her again. Thena. That name had been pulsing in his head since he saw her. He wasn't sure how; she was the Warrior Eternal, deadly and traitorous. That was all he knew about her. Except her name. And that she had a sweet sounding laugh. It echoed through memories he didn't have.

He hadn't even realised he was reaching up until his fingertips met her cheek. He didn't know what he was doing. He had no explanation for it to himself, much less to his team, let alone the woman herself. Her skin was soft.

It seemed impossible, but he could have sworn to all the stars in the sky that she leaned into his touch, however much she could. He didn't press his palm to her skin. That felt...wrong--like he had no right. Just looking at her felt like a betrayal of some kind. "Thena."

The Warrior's sandy coloured eyelashes fluttered. Maybe she was stronger than Ajak had assumed. She couldn't open her eyes, but he knew they were green (somehow). "Gil."

That name again. It made his whole body burn, like his chest was on fire. He stood back from the Warrior calling for him--someone. He didn't know who she was calling out to, but it wasn't really him.

"Gilgamesh."

He turned towards his Prime, and his fellow Eternal at the window. It seemed so cold over there. He nodded, walking over silently. Only when he was further away did he realise he had been holding the Warrior Eternal's hand.

"Are you prepared to hand them over?" Ajak asked.

He frowned, "why wouldn't I be?"

Ajak was silent, but Ikaris freely scoffed at him, "y'seem awfully soft on the traitor. There's no need for the gentleman routine with faulty scum."

Gilgamesh clenched his fists at his side, but he forced himself to remember his place. "I'm curious, but I'm not confused about the mission."

"Good," Ajak concluded, ending the conversation for both of them.

Ikaris let out one last laugh at him before floating off again. Did he have to fly everywhere just for the sake of it? He could walk just fine.

Gilgamesh tried not to seem like he was watching keenly as Ikaris walked by the prisoners again. Ikaris also looked up at the Warrior Eternal, and Gilgamesh tried not to yell at his teammate to keep his distance from her.

But Ikaris kept moving, and Gilgamesh wasn't eager to admit that his chest loosened. His eyes left the figure of Thena floating limply. He blinked, finding Ajak staring at him. "What?"

She looked back at the Warrior Eternal and then back to him. "You know her."

He shook his head. "We were briefed on all of them. She was a better fighter than I could have imagined. I think that deserves some respect."

Yes, he had respect for his fellow Fighter. She seemed very much his equal, all agility where he was sturdiness. He wanted her to be treated with respect and honour, just like any good warrior.

He wanted her to be handled so delicately a flower would weep with envy.

"I agree," Ajak sufficed to say. She gave him one last look before leaning closer, "keep your mission in mind, Gilgamesh. Whatever the traitors try to whisper in your ear...remember their deception."

"I will," he assured his team leader before she too departed. He stayed at the window, looking into the vast nothingness where eventually the World Forge would come into view. He looked over his shoulder.

It wouldn't be long until he could ask her why she called him Gil.