#((i've got straight up like. all of next week off of work. it's crazy. so i'll get into the thick of it with interactions during that time)

[skyfcx]

     He's a sack of fur draped across the couch with a robot dog activating loaf mode right next to him. There's a bag of chips on the side table, a drink of water, and some science documentary playing on the television. It would seem that today is a lazy day.

[devotedlykoneshots]

NAKAMOTO YUTA : SUGAR DADDY

Genre: 18+ , minors dni, 🔞, sugar daddy plot, yuta is persistent, straight filth at the end by bad.

Word count: 5,440 ( the longest fix I've ever written, I got too into it lmao)

---------

He was just a man, wealthy , young , attractive, successful businessman.

You were an average worker just getting by , living paycheck to paycheck.

You had met him at a restaurant and from the looks of it , he was in the middle of dinner with his colleagues and honestly you felt a little bit out of dress.

There they were chatting and laughing as they sat there in their expensive suits, while you sat there in a dress you found on sale at rainbow and you were waiting for your boyfriend.

Your very late boyfriend.

You're not sure when or how long he'd been staring at you but one of the guys definitely were looking your way , sipping on wine that was probably twice your rent as you sipped on water.

Your eyes only seemed to widen further as he excused himself and got up to walk over to your table, you dumbly looked around to see if he was walking towards someone behind you but when you turned around he was taking a seat in front of you.

"Can I help you?" You asked him and he ran his fingers through his burgundy hair.

"Sorry , I couldn't help but notice you were all alone"you snorted at the irony and shook your head.

"I'm just waiting for my boyfriend"you said and he raised an eyebrow at you.

"You got here before me and we've been here for 2 hours, why stay?"he asked and you looked down, you hadn't realized.

"Sorry , I don't mean to pry"he apologized and you shook your head.

"Something must've come up"you made yet another excuse for your boyfriend.

"Have you eaten?"he asked, as far as he knows you haven't and the water you'd been sipping on for hours was definitely warm by now.

"No"you said reluctantly and he turned his head to whistle at the waiter, waving him over.

"What are you doing?"you asked him and he raised his eyebrows at you, the what should have been obvious by now.

"You've been here for over two hours and you've yet to eat, what does it look like I'm doing?"he got sassy with you, further taking you back at the scene unfolding in front of you.

"She's ready to order"he tells the waiter and the employee turns to grab you a menu.

"You're crazy"you run your fingers through your hair , this was not how you expected your Friday night to go.

"You can thank me next time"he said as he stood up from your table and walked away.

"Next time? Wha-"you're cut off by your boyfriends arrival, your anger flaring up.

"What was that about?"he asked and you ignored him, asking him a question of your own.

"Where were you?"he sat down in front of you and grabbed your hand, rubbing his thumb on the back of it and usually you'd melt at his affection but tonight was not one of those times.

"Something came up"for 3 hours? You wanted to ask.

"So, you couldn't send me a text? Instead you allowed room for another man, a stranger - to buy me dinner at my favorite restaurant that you promised you'd do on our anniversary"you ended up snapping at him instead and this idiot ignored majority of your rant, focusing on one little part.

"He bought you dinner?"he'd asked , you almost wanted to slap some sense into him quite literally.

"Of course that's all you got from that"you rolled your eyes and took the menu from the waiter.

The rest of the night was spent with your boyfriend eating something cheap from the menu while you ate something you'd always wanted to try and drank the wine you'd been eyeing all night.

Your boyfriend finally got the hint, you wouldn't put up with his foolishness for much longer.

So you're not surprised to find a bouquet of roses (not your favorite) on your desk at work the next morning with a note from him.

You however couldn't help but think back to the man responsible for your boyfriends sudden change in attitude.

Who was he?

Your answer would come only 2 weeks later at a party with your friends, celebrating your best friends engagement.

"Since our anniversary he's really straightened up and I'm loving it really but it still angers me that all it took was another man showing interest in me to get his act together"you explained and karina raised her eyebrows.

"Who is this mystery man?" Jennie asked and you shrugged your shoulders.

"He never told me his name and I haven't seen him since"you tell her and she hums.

"We're in a better place because of it"you concluded and you honestly weren't expecting to see him at all for the rest of your life maybe but that's not how it works.

"Well cheers to that"yeji laughs and you all drown your shots , they all laugh and tease you as you're the last one to finish.

Just then the doors opens and a group of men enter the room, directly going to the VIP section and that's when you see him.

He's dressed different now and a lot more appetizing if you say so yourself,  he's dressed in all black and his sleeves are rolled up to show off his arms.

"Oh my god"you're quick yo turn around and your friends are instantly on alert.

"What?"they asked in unison, jihyo being the mom she is starts to rub your back.

"That's him, the one that bought me dinner"you told them and they whipped around to look for him but you weren't very specific.

"Where?"Karina asked.

"VIP section, to the left of the guy with the undercut"you tell them and after spotting him they turn to you, whispering but clearly wanting to yell.

"NO FUCKING WAY"

"WHAT?"you whisper , they obviously knew who he was.

"THATS NAKAMOTO YUTA, SUPER FUCKING RICH"Lisa makes her presence known.

"NOT RICH , WEALTHY"Jennie looks like she's about to bust a but just thinking about him.

"he's coming over"Karina is the most calm.

"What?"you turn around just in time to see him walking over to you.

"If we keep meeting up like this I'm gonna start thinking you're stalking me"he smirked and you never thought you'd find a man smirking hot but here we are.

"We both know who's really stalking who here"you roll your eyes and he snickers at your change in attitude from the last time you met.

"I just realized I never got your name"he said and you opened your mouth to say something witty but Jennie was faster.

"Its y/n, I'm Jennie"holding out her hand and he shakes it politely.

"Yuta"he never took his eyes off of you and you couldn't help but question what his intentions were.

"Do you wanna join us?"he asked and raising your eyebrows.

"I can't , I'm celebrating my best friends engagement"you turned down the offer and jihyo looks around dramatically.

"What engagement you talking about?"she asked and you burst out laughing , shaking your head at her silly antics.

"You're all welcome to join us"he offered and you shake your head, you couldn't.

"I have a boyfriend"you told him , it wasn't right.

"So do i"Jennie said but still strutted her way up to the VIP section and you sighed, going against your better judgement.

"Okay....lead the way"you gave in and yuta placed a hand on your back to lead the way.

"These are my friends , haechan, johnny, jaehyun, doyoung, taeil, jeno, Lucas, jaemin and mark"yuta smiles as he introduces you and your friends to his own.

--------

You got home late that night and your boyfriend was not happy one bit but you'd just told him you were with your friends , it wasn't a lie but it wasn't the truth either.

The next time you saw yuta you were at work and you shook your head as he walked up to you.

"You're definitely stalking me now" you commented and he chuckles.

"Could you blame me, I may have grown quite fond of you" he said and you raised your eyebrows, you kinda figured that much.

"I have a boyfriend"you reminded him for the millionth time it felt like and he was rather blunt with his response.

"I don't really care"he admitted and you looked down.

"Can I get you something from our menu? I can't have you holding up my line"you asked him and he chuckles at your attempt to get him to leave.

"When do you get off work?"he asked instead and you sighed.

"Why? Don't you have anything better to do than chase after a taken woman?" You asked and he raised his eyebrows again.

"Better to be chased than taken for granted , don't you think?"he quipped and your jaw dropped before you closed it.

"I'm not..."you shake your head and reminded him of the obvious.

"You're holding up my line"he turns his head to see a group of people behind him , he flashed them a smile and the girls all melted right on the spot.

"I'll leave , when you tell me what time you get off"he insisted and you stomp your feet like a little toddler before giving in.

"8pm tonight, now please" he smiled at your frustrated state.

"I'll be here at 7:30 to pick you up"he said and looked at him with wide eyes for what felt like the millionth time.

"Wait - what?"

---------

"I'm just going to say it"he immediately jumps up after the last customer leaves and you raised your eyebrows at him.

"Okay...."you're not used to seeing him so....nervous? He's always been chill and laid back, very sure of himself and his abilities.

"I want to take care of you..... financially, I want you to quit that useless place you call a job and yes I know you have a boyfriend"he tells you before you could even say it and you bite your bottom lip, as long as he knew.

"I don't really care honestly , if I have to watch you walk home one more time and in the cold for Christ sake I'm literally going to buy this shit joint"damn was it ever really that serious? You chuckle at your own inner commentary.

"You want to be my sugar daddy?"you asked and his face twisted into one of disgust.

"God , don't say it like that. I'm not old and I'm not asking for anything in return , just let me take care of you and if you decide to ditch that pathetic excuse of boyfriend later down the line then I wanna be the one to help you celebrate"damn , he really doesn't like your boyfriend huh?

"I don't know, I mean that's not fair to him"you tell him and he rolls his eyes, licking his lips.

"When has he ever been fair to you? He's not even here to pick you up from work and you have to catch a bus and walk 20 minutes to get home, god knows what could've happened had I not been here."now how in the hell?

"How do you know-"he cuts off your incoming question.

"I have my ways....just let me drop you off and think about what I'm offering"he said and you sigh, a ride home did sound nice.

"Okay....just a ride home"you agreed, following him to his car in the parking lot and you gaped at the red ferrari.

"Have you eaten?"his voice brings you from your trance as he unlocks the car and opens your door for you, your stomach growling answered his question and you get in the car.

"What do you wanna eat?"he asked and you looked over at him as he gets in the car, doors locked and you just noticed how good he smells up close.

"You said a ride home"you tell him and he rolls his eyes, it wasn't a big deal for him but it was for you.

"Now its just a pit stop to grab something to eat, you've got to take better care of yourself"he slightly scolds you and you scoff, folding your arms.

"I take care of myself fine"you look out of the window and its his time to scoff now.

"Really? Because every time we meet you hadn't eaten in hours."he said and you looked at him, you hadn't even met that much.

"Maybe I wasn't hungry"you counter and he chuckles, pulling out of the parking lot.

"Yeah because you devoured the food i bought you at the restaurant within minutes because you weren't hungry"you noticed he matched your energy well, talking to him was easy and he seemed to love to tease you as well.

"You watched me"you gasped and hit his arm before you realized what you had done , you went to apologize but his next comment sent a chill up your spine.

"I'm always watching you"he said and you focus on the road ahead of you.

"Why me? You could have any girl in the world and you chose me, even Jennie wants you and she's my friend"you tell him and he snorts, glancing over at you.

"You need a better friend"he said and you shake your head , Jennie was a good friend for the most part but she was hyper sexual and she wasn't ashamed of her sexuality.

"We're not together , she doesn't owe me anything"you wave off his comment.

"I have plenty of other friends she's welcome to shoot her shot at but its not gonna happen with me"damn he was dead set on you.

"You didn't answer my question, why me?"you asked again, turning your body to face him and he keeps a hand on the wheel as he let's your seat back for you to get more comfortable.

"I don't know, I just got this feeling the first time we met and I just knew I had to have you"he wasn't afraid to be honest with you and why would someone of his status be anything but honest with you.

"You can't have me, you know that right"you tell him and he hums.

"Yet"is all he says and you're taken back by his answer.

"You really are crazy"you laugh and look out the window , he chuckles.

"The best ones are"

--------

Your boyfriend wasn't happy and you sympathized with that part, you'd been doing a lot of things you normally wouldn't do and now they were catching up to you.

You woke up one morning and your face was all over the news, pictures of you with yuta at all of the places you'd run into each other together and your boyfriend was seeing this for the first time.

"You lied to me! You said you were with your girls"you remembered yuta whispering into your ear that night about how unfortunate it was that you were taken and how his arm was draped over the back of the couch behind you.

"It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either" you winced and he paced across the floor.

"Are you sleeping with him?"he asked and you scoffed.

"I'm not you, I don't sleep with people I barely know"irritated that he would even considered that as an option.

"So what are you?"he asked and you rolled your eyes.

"He wants to take care of me...financially"you told him and he scoffed.

"What did you tell him?"he asked and you looked down at your fingers.

"I'd think about it"you said and he laughed bitterly.

"Oh for the love of god, you practically agreed"he accused you and your anger flared up.

"I didn't agree for you! because its not fair for you!"you yelled at him, pretty sure you'd get a noise complaint filed.

"You don't care about me"he shakes his head and that angered you even more.

"Really? Did you not forget why we're in this mess to begin with? You were 3 hours late to your own anniversary dinner"you rightfully reminded him why this stranger had taken interest in you.

"I'm still with you because I care , I haven't agreed because I care and I feel terrible because I care"you continued to go off , not once had you when remotely entertained this mans advances. 

"Its not my fault you gave him an opening and now he won't back off and he's aware I have you but he's never crossed the line"you told him and it was true although yuta wanted you he'd never touched you or made you feel like you couldn't make your own decisions.

"I can't do this, you wanna whore yourself out to some rich guy then be my guest and I won't stand in your way"now you were livid.

"If you wanna go so bad.... I'll help you"you announced and got off the couch, going to your bedroom to help him pack.

"Y/n , don't you touch my stuff-" he's cut off by a shoe barely missing his face and its followed by various clothes and shoes.

"Get out!"you yelled at him and threw the suitcase as well , him barely dodging it.

"I'm the one that should be angry!"he yelled but packed his things anyway.

"I get it , you feel threatened and I'm not gonna hold your hand anymore. Especially when I've been loyal despite him continuously making advances on me"you help him pack and you even zipped up the suitcase.

"Whore myself out....if anyone is a whore its you and you can go to hell with your insecurities because you didn't start acting like a man until he came along"you continued to go off in his shit but you still handed him his coat and opened the door for him, slamming it shut in his face.

--------

You found yourself in a bind and since you were single now, your boyfriend got kicked out and rent was due soon, you had no choice but to accept yutas offer.

"I'm sorry that happened"he frowned sympathetically but you both knew he was happy as hell that you got dumped.

"You're so happy , you can't even hide it"you scoff and he chuckles, shrugging his shoulders.

"You don't need him"he said and you sigh, resting your chin on your hand.

"I don't wanna need you either"you pout and he mimics your posture, including the pout.

"You don't , just think of this as payback for turning your world upside down in the best way possible."he grinned and you rolled your eyes , sharing your head.

"You're a mess"you tell him and he bites his bottom lip, sliding forward more.

"I can make you a mess"you jump back and blush as he laughs at your flustered state.

"Yuta"you cover your face and he shrugs, sitting back in his chair.

"Your fault not mine"

"So how does 250k every 2 weeks sound?"he changes the subject , taking you by surprise again.

"What? Yuta-"he cuts you off.

"Rule number one, take what I give you and I mean....everything"he's serious and demanding for the first time , you're not surprised when you feel a tingle in your uh....lower region.

"What am I supposed to do with 250k?"you asked him, jaw still on the floor and he hums as he takes a finger to press against your chin.

"Move out of that wretched apartment for starters"you frown, that was your first apartment.

"I'm taking care of you now and my love, you deserve the best of what life has to offer and you'll also need a new wardrobe."he said and looks out of the window but when he looks back, you're still frowning.

You found nothing wrong with your wardrobe but even Jennie has called you out for your lack of fashion sense many times before.

"You're cute but johnny would kill me if he saw you rocking what could be mistaken as baby phat"your jaw dropped again and he chuckles.

"He and his partner mingi can help you with that, they love fashion like that"you huff and fold your arms over your chest.

"Keep doing that and I'll give you a reason to huff" you dropped your arms instantly and looked out if the window, only hearing his laughter ring in your ears.

--------

You sat on the stool at your new apartment and yuta walked around very pleased with what he saw, his friend doyoung helped you decorate and he definitely had an eye for interior design.

"How do you feel?"he asked as he followed you out onto the balcony, it was a nice set up and the fairy lights only made it better.

"Weird , its gonna take some getting used to"you say after a moment and he nodded, understanding that.

"Your personal driver will take you anywhere you wanna go , until you get your drivers license" he must've noticed the confusion on your face when you saw two cars in the driveway.

"I don't know what to say"you said, in just a few months your life had changed completely and you were still trying to grasp that this was reality.

"Thank you?"he chuckles and you shake your head at him.

"I feel like I should do more than that"you tell him and he shakes his head.

"You don't have to, I just wanna take care of you"he reminds you, he's always kept his promise of wanting nothing in return.

"Who's gonna take care of you?"you asked and he turned to you.

"What do you mean?"he asked, blatantly confused but he gets the hint as you pull him closer by his belt and start to unbuckle it and his jeans.

"I wanna take care of you"you whispered and he grabs your hands with a groan.

"Y/n , look at me"he demands and you look up at him with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

"I want you....god knows i do but not like this, I don't want you to do this because you feel like you owe me"he explained and you furrowed your eyebrows, confused.

"Why?"you asked, you never thought you'd see a man turn down a blowjob.

"I want you on your knees because you want me and there's nothing that could quetch your thirst except for my cock"his forehead meets yours and you whimper, his grip on your wrists tighten at the sound and he wanted nothing more than to bend you over the railing and mark his claim on your body and soul.

"Don't say things like that and push me away"you voice brought him back to reality.

"Another time, yeah?"he asked as the door to your apartment opened and you nodded.

"Yeah"you almost forgot about the house warming party.

"Don't ask"he said , turning his attention to haechan and the rest of his and your friends as he fixed his pants.

"Wasn't going to"haechan held up his hands in surrender.

The next time you're alone with yuta was at his vacation home in Italy, you were relaxing in a jacuzzi and yuta watched you from the back door. The way your chest rose with every breath you took and he's snapped out of his trance once he hears a bunch of commotion.

Both of your friend groups seemed to have combined because now whenever you'd go on a trip they weren't far behind.

"Mind if I join you?" Yuta asked as he approached your figure and you smiled, nodding your head and he places your legs on top of his lap as your friends join you.

"This is great" Jennie smiles but you're too preoccupied with trying to keep a straight face as yuta rubs your thighs innocently, your mind however was absolute filth.

"I'm going to get a drink" you stand up and move to get out of the jacuzzi , wrapping a towel around yourself and yuta joins you.

You both go into the house after drying your feet and hair off with another towel , what do you want?"he asked as he opened the fridge and you hugged him from behind.

"I want you"you kissed his bare shoulder and he turns around, sitting his beer on the counter.

"Y/n"he goes to grab your hands but you smack his away, him raising an eyebrow at you.

"I want you now, yuta"you're not backing down this time, you want him.

No, you need him.

"Damn , are you sure?"he asked as he grabs your waist and you step closer, nodding and hiding your face in his neck.

"Yes, please" you lift your head and stand on your tiptoes to kiss his lips, he's taken aback by your boldness but kisses you back nonetheless.

"Jump" he breathes against your lips and you jump, wrapping your legs around his waist and kissing his lips more before your lips trail down to his neck.

"Fuck-" he turns and makes the walk to your room , the both of you having two separate rooms not far from each other .

You bite down on his neck after he closes the door with his foot and he walks to the bathroom with you, you realized he was heading towards the shower.

"Let me help you wash the chlorine off first, then I'm all yours" he promises and you nod, letting him carry you in the shower and turn on the water before putting you down.

He turns you around and presses you up against his chest, your bikini top comes off first and your bottoms follow the same fate.

His lips are on your neck and you whimper as you push your ass up against his front, he moves and trails kisses down your body.

His tongue touches every piece of skin on your body and you can't help but get even more turned on by that , the water turning off brings you back and yuta leads you out.

He doesn't care about the water and tosses your still wet frame on the bed, you gasp and he's quick to hover over you as his lips return to your own.

His tongue pushes into your mouth uninvited and you count help but moan, wrapping your legs around him and your fingers run through his dripping hair.

"Yuta" you whine as he pulls back and kisses his way from your jawline to your lower belly, not forgetting to give some love to your nipples using his tongue and mouth.

"Inside" you whimper and he tsks , shaking his head and continuing to move at his own pace which you huff at but that only earns you a slap to your pussy.

"Yuta!" You squeak and cover yourself from getting slapped again.

"What did I say about that huffing?" He asked and you bit your bottom lip.

"I'm sorry" you apologize and he coos , pushing your hands out of the way and continuing to kiss further down.

He stops at your inner thighs and sucks the skin into his mouth , so close to where you want him and he could care less about your needy little pussy craving for his attention.

Was he punishing you?

That thought was wiped from your train of thought as soon as his lips closed around your clit and a moan rips the the depths of your gut, right were you wanted his dick to be by now.

"You're so wet baby"hands throwing your legs over his shoulder and he digs in, not holding back and placing a hand on your lower abdomen to hold you in place as he attacks your leaking pussy with his tongue.

"Needy baby- how good am I doing?" He asked and continued to lick you feverishly , his tongue adding just the right amount of pressure that has you cumming undone just how he likes.

"Fuck" he can't help but chuckle as he watches you come back down to earth, he's now at your side and rubbing slow circles on your clit.

"Too much" you push his hand away and he kisses your cheek.

"You did so good" he praises you and you smile lazily at him, your hand trailing down and grabbing his bare cock which was fully hard.

"Fuck me, please mr nakamoto" you whine and squeeze the base as you lazily stroke his cock, he smacks your hand away and gets up.

He grabs your waist and manhandles you into the position he wants, ass up and face down.

You're angled towards the mirror he had set up in your room and now you know why he had it a specific way, you cry out his name as he smacked your ass harshly and he grinned that evil smile he had.

Slap after slap he landed them all on both of your ass cheeks and you closed your eyes, a tear falling down your face and you jerk away from him once his tongue makes contact with your stinging skin.

"Y-yuta"you whimper.

"I've waited to have you for months , I guarantee you're not leaving this room for a few hours"was that supposed to be a threat? Your body was tingling with anticipation.

"Do your worst"you challenged him and he thrusted his cock into you , his hand pushing your face in the pillow to muffle your scream and he's pulling your hair back soon after. 

"Ag- fuck"you cry out as he pounds his cock into you roughly and your eyes roll to the back of your head, his hands moving to grip your hips to guide your movements and set a faster rhythm.

"You're just all bark aren't you? Just a whiny brat that acts up when she's not stuffed full of cum"you clench down on his cock and he chuckles, grabbing your neck and pulling you up against his chest.

"Is that what you want pretty? Want Mr nakamotos cum in your pathetic cunt?" You whimper and he thrusts his hips faster, a hand dropping down to rub your clit and you cry out again.

"Fuck! You're gonna make me cum" he pulls out immediately and moves away, laying down on the bed and resting his arms behind his head.

"W-why'd you stop?" You whine and pout, he chuckles and beckons you to come closer.

"You're gonna have to work for it. come on, love and ride my cock"you nod and straddle his lap, lining his tip up with your entrance and you whimper as you slide down.

"Move" he demands and you nod, rocking your hips back and forth as he watches you. You couldn't lie , he looked sexy like that.

"Come on, bounce your ass on my cock" you bite your bottom lip and start to bounce on his cock, moans leave your lips and you feel your climax getting closer again.

"I feel-"you're cut off by a slap to the ass.

"Faster, fuck my cock like the horny slut you are"you obey him immediately and the only thing on your mind was his cock.

"You're so-" you're cut off again.

"Attractive? I'm aware, I'm also aware that my baby isn't fucking me hard enough and therefore she must not want to cum"he goes to pull you off his cock but you slap his hands away.

"I can do it" you promised and lean forward, arms caging him in and your ass bouncing faster and harder.

"Fuck- that's a good fucking girl" he spreads your ass cheeks and plants his heels in the bed, thrusting his cock up into you and you cry out once again.

"I'm cumming!" You warned him and pulls you down for a kiss, tongues colliding messily as you both chase that euphoric feeling of ecstacy.

"Cum with me"you hide your face in his neck as you clamp down on his dick and he groans deeply, your body trembling on top of him as your orgasm ran through you and he cums deep into your heat.

"Fuck" he runs a soothing hand down your back , kissing your forehead before carefully rolling you onto the bed beside him.

"I'll go get you some water, we're starting again in 5 minutes" and with that he left the room.

[ilovecockroaches]

Side Kick

Minors DNI

Maximine Le Mal X Fem Reader

(No Valentina this time)

Maxime can turn into his roach self whenever but in this fic he only has antennas, also this fic is bad the only time I could write it was after work, so my mind wasn't really in the place to write a really good fic for you all, I am very sorry.

Also, I was really hungry at the food part :')

______________________

You were the side kick of a very famous superhero; you never really liked the superhero you worked for because of his arrogance and his misogynistic views. But it put food on the table.

As you sat at your desk in the hero's lair, you did research for the man you work for on a new villain he's fixated on. "Who's the new villain of the week?" Your coworker asks sitting next to you as you type away. "Some French guy...Maxime le mal" You respond not looking away from your screen trying to make it seem you didn't know who he was. "Hmm sounds scary." He scoots his chair next to you leaning in, you can't tell if he's focusing on your computer or you. "What are you doing tonight?" He asks, "I'm getting home late so I don't really feel like going out." You respond, it wasn't like your coworker was ugly, but he wasn't Maxime. He gets up to leave which leaves you alone to study Maxime some more, in full truth you were crazy for Maxime, and you gave the idea to your boss to piss him off so you could see Maxime a lot more and have a reason too than just stalking some crush.

You leave the lair at around 11pm. You get into your car and a long-exaggerated sigh leaves your mouth as all the stress from today is relieved. You're driving and you decide to get something to eat and pull into some random gas station with a taco truck.

You lean on your car waiting for your food to be done. "French cuisine is much better than some tacos..." you recognize that French accent, so you turn to see Maxime leaning on your car next to you. "Why on earth would your boss let you go home this late?" You couldn't stop the blush grow across your cheeks from hearing his voice. A sly smirk creeps up on his face, you couldn't believe that the man you would touch yourself to every night is standing in front of you, "He thinks I'm just some 'women side kick' who isn't worth the extra security. Maxime scoffs in response, "I would treat you so much better" He takes a step closer, but your number was called out, so your quickly turn away to get it.

"Let's see what you got." Maxime rubs his hands together walking over to you peering into the Styrofoam take out box. "It's just some carnitas tacos..." You open the box as a form of proof, he hums. "Is there a reason you came to me instead of my boss?" He nods "I'm kidnapping you." He grabs you and picks you up being careful of your food and taking you into his luxurious limo. Of course, you don't fight, you've been wanting this to happen for months. You open the box and start eating adding the jalapeño and salsa etc. on your tacos, you could fee his eyes burning into you as you eat. "I've been watching you, not just right now but for a while" You feel your face heat up and you already know your face is red. "Why?" Is the only thing you can choke out, "Your skills are amazing and not to mention your magnificent to look at" You choke on your food in response which draws out a long low laugh. The rest of the ride was quiet, it was mostly him watching you eating. Every once in a while, he would bite his lip, or a blush would creep up on his face but that's about it.

Before you could finish your meal, you felt a wave of tiredness and drowsiness. The last thing you see is Maximes smile as you feel yourself pass out.

You woke up in a bedroom that looked like a hotel room, the only difference is your ankle was chained to the bed and the door was locked. Your mind immediately went straight to kinky sex and your face became flustered immediately. As you examine the room, you hear the door open Maxime walks in, wearing his green undershirt and his black jeans. You hide your flushed face from his. He mumbles something as you feel a hand grab your face and turn it to his, "Putain, ne me cache pas ton visage..." His gaze filled with frustration and desire. "What?" You stutter out your face red with embarrassment. "Do not hide your face from me." He brings his face close to yours, "I know you want me, almost as much as I want you." He whispers, your face even more red, if that was even possible. "I- uhm..." Your mind glitching as the sudden confession, "Please..." He responds his gaze mixed with desire and desperation as he pleads for the response he craves. "I don't think it's possible for you to like me more than I do," you say barley above a whisper as you move your mouth closer to his ear. You heard a springing noise and notice his antennas shoot up straight at your confident response. "Can me and you...fuc-k?" He says pausing trying to find the right word in English, he adds a very strong emphasis on the 'K' which makes you smile.

Your words caught in the back of your throat unable to form a coherent sentence, you scoff at your lack of confidence and wrap your arms around his neck bringing your lips to his. He was shocked at first but soon he finds his confidence as your lips dance together, the room fills with need and lust as he leans into the kiss, deepening it. You feel him pull away, his face red and antennas perfectly straight pointing up, "Je- I need you, s’il vous plaît" He fumbles over his words mixing in his main language, his blush strong and a bold color. You stare at him as it all hits you that the man you've wanted for months is in front of you, ready to fuck you, and you're sitting there embarrassing yourself. You sit back into the bed grabbing his collared shirt bringing him closer, "Actions speak louder than words." You whisper in his ear with a daring tone as he presses his lips on yours again, but this kiss was dirtier he had more want as his tongue forces an entry, you moan into the kiss as your tongues meet, they swirl together as if they've met before. You removed your hands from his neck as they slowly unbutton his shirt. You both pull away and gasp and crush your lips together again, the same pace resuming as his shirt is now open and his lean body was revealed. Your hands, almost like a magnet, traces all over his chest making his body shiver and a small whimper enters into your mouth.

His eyebrows furrow as you pull away, he was about to complain before you took your shirt off his eyes travel down the revealed skin, "Ma chérie, tu es tellement sexy" You blush not knowing what he said but the tone was enough for you to understand, his hands immediately rush over to grope on your boobs as his hands find their way to the back of the bra and unhook it. A pleasant sigh leaves your mouth at the release of your boobs. You notice his look, you can tell he wants something, "Ma chérie...Can we try something..." Youve never seen him this timid and you've never felt so wet.

His mouth sucking on your chest as he lays down your hand on his long slim cock, the moans vibrations tease your buds as he humps into your hand, having his biggest fantasy filled by the woman he wanted the most. As you felt his cum spurt all over your hand you bring it to your mouth and taste his semen. The look in his eyes shifting into something much darker, his wants morphing from something so genuine and passionate to something rougher and dirtier. He sits up from laying in your thighs, a whine leaves your lips as his moth leaves you nipples. "Lay on your stomach." He demanded, you respond with a moan, full of anticipation, and lay on your stomach your ass in the air. You felt him stand behind you his hands wander all over your ass as he rips open a hole, you gasp as he ruins your pair of pants, "There wasn't even a ho-" Your sentence caught off with a moan as he slaps your ass leaving a cute little mark. A low laugh escapes from the back of his throat as you felt his, already hard dick, lay on your ass. You whimper as he presses a hand on top of his dick, his throbbing length pulses as he starts moving his hips to fuck the space your ass and his hand had created. He was using you and you couldn't be anymore happy, small moans and groans leave his mouth a few French phrases as well, his other hand rubs along your panties, every once in a while, he rubs near your clit making you moan.

He groans in frustration moving his hand and turning you on your back, he removes your pants like a normal person, you were a little upset he didn't tear them but oh well. He, thankfully, rips off your panties as he drags his leaking tip across your clit. "Beg." Is all he could say through gritted teeth, his eyes never leaving you as his dark eyes tell a story of want and desperation, you shiver in anticipation and fear. "Please! I need your cock in me, Maxime please..." Your eyes pleading as you stutter over your words. His smile grows more as he moves his tip near your entrance and puts in barley his whole tip. A long groan leaves your mouth, "Putain, beg." His voice low and stern, you moan out, "Maxime, please I need your cock. I'm so desperate for you." His finger rubs circles around your clit, "hmm we will fix this at another date." He mumbles to himself as he rams into you moving his finger directly onto your clit, a loud moan leaves your mouth. He moves his hips as his finger harasses your clit, his long cock keeps hitting into your g-spot, you both moan, his low and gravely as he moans in French, vs. yours that are loud and almost scream Ish. The constant pleasure feels almost like torture as your face squishes together, your eyebrows almost touching together, your mouth hanging open but no noise leaves as your constantly feeling pleasure, having your g-spot fucked and your clit rubbed, your unable to catch a break. His eyes watching your boobs and face as he fucks into you, his hips moving at a punishing pace as he leans over to moan into your mouth, his hands keeping your legs up to allow his cock deeper into you. A moan you weren't aware was building up and finally left as you feel a wave of unreasonable pleasure wash over you.

He keeps fucking you through your orgasm his face still holding that cocky smirk as well as his blush. You grab onto his arm looking up at him, waiting for him to stop but he doesn't. His pace slows down as he lets a long moan out and you gasp as you feel his cum fill you up. "Maxime!" Is all you can moan out as he plants kisses onto your neck. You smile at the intimate gesture, your smile drops slightly as you feel him getting hard and his hips returning to the rough pace, "J’ai besoin que tu sois enceinte!" He moans out your face scrunching up again...

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for telling the truth about punching my stepson?

I am a 29 year old gay trans man. I recently married my husband (51M) and have been trying to bond with my stepson (21M). My husband raised my stepson alone from when he was 10 when my husband's ex-wife stepped out of the picture, and they are very close. He didn't start dating again until about 5 years ago and didn't realize he was attracted to men until a few years ago. He and his son lived in a conservative area until his son went off to college, and his son was kind of confused and upset about his father dating men, and when he found out I was trans he said some hurtful things which gave our relationship a rocky start. He's been much better but our relationship has always been a little awkward and stilted.

He's a big straight cis guy- like he was a linebacker in high school, and was planning on joining a frat until my husband, who is a worrier, talked him out of it and I'm a fat gay trans nerd. We have pretty much nothing in common and he didn't like that his dad was dating a man let alone a trans man who's only 8 years older than him. Between COVID and his college we also haven't spent much time together.

In February my husband and I got married and moved closer to the city where my stepson is in school. He was living on campus when we got married and is living with some friends during the summer, but he does laundry at our house and comes over for dinner at least once a week. We've been trying to get to know each other but it's awkward. My husband really really wants us to be closer and has tried to come up with activities we all enjoy to do together so it'll be less awkward.

He likes sports and martial arts and I did aikido as a kid for weeb reasons so I offered to take us to a beginner martial arts class and to take him and his friends out to dinner sometimes because they're college students and I work in computer programming, and though I have going out with friends money now, I remember the appeal of free food in college.

He took me up on the class and I thought things were going well but then one week he took me up on the food thing and his friends were uncomfortable because I'm 29 years old and he introduced me as his stepdad and they were what I would describe as playfully trans and homophobic. I brushed it off because it's a weird situation and i figured they were trying to diffuse the tension.

The next week when we got to class one of his friends was there. He and his friend spent the class hanging out with each other and ignoring me which hurt but I tried to brush it off.

When we got to sparring towards the end of class I was paired with my stepson and so we were sparring normally.

Full disclosure I've taken a few self defense classes and have been assaulted. This is not an excuse but it is the reason for the next bit.

My stepson's friend was goading us while we were sparring and stepped a little too close which knocked us both off our game and when my stepson went in for a normal grab, I freaked out a little and fully decked him in a totally illegal move. The second it happened I stepped away and started apologizing like crazy.

My stepson's nose was bleeding and the instructor was immediately right there to help him. My stepson said it was fine and laughed it off and said he was just bummed he would have to sit out the rest of class but he'd come up with a good story to tell girls and it would get him dates.

The friend also apologized for getting too close.

The instructor said he had been about to call for us to stop because we were too close to other people and he could see that I had panicked and that it would be okay because everyone signed waivers, but I should probably hold off sparring for now and we'd talk about what set me off so it wouldn't happen again. He was really nice about it, apparently he teaches self defense to survivors and recognized my reaction.

My stepson and I sat out the rest of class and I apologized a few more times and he kept brushing it off before he finally snapped and said it was fine because I punch like a girl anyway. He then got a ride with his friend.

When I got home I immediately went to my husband to tell him what happened and apologize and ask what he thought I should do to fix the situation. When I got to my husband he said that my son had already called him and told him everything and that neither he nor my stepson were upset with me. That these things happen and I shouldn't blame myself. I asked how I should make it up to my stepson and my husband said i didn't need to do anything and something like accidents happen or something. I just kind of let it go and decided to see how things went the next time I saw my stepson.

The next time my stepson came over, it became apparent that my stepson had lied to my husband about what happened. My husband believed that "some anxious chick" from the class had been the one to freak out and punch my stepson.

I wanted to be honest with my husband but I didn't want to upset my stepson and between the "punch like a girl" and the "some anxious chick" I felt like there's something more going on with why he lied to my husband. I wanted to talk to my stepson about it but he's been ignoring me since telling me that I punch like a girl.

My stepson ignored me and I avoided talking about the whole situation to my husband for about 10 days. It was causing me constant guilt and anxiety but I really wanted to talk to my stepson first.

Last night my husband mentioned that my stepson's bruise is finally completely gone and I broke down and told him everything. He was upset with both his son and me. He said that he could understand me accidentally hitting his son but keeping it from him made him feel like it was malicious. He said he needed time to process, so we didn't really talk about it, or at all after that. Between me punching his kid and lying and his son also lying and blaming a woman for it, my husband is mad at both of us, as apparently his son calling me a 'woman' to upset my husband has been a thing.

Evidently he called my stepson about it because when my stepson came by the house to get his laundry today, he was furious with me for "narcing on us" and allowing his dad to "blow things out of proportion."

I know lying in the first place was bad, but aita for telling my husband the truth after my stepson and I had seemingly agreed to keep it secret, especially without talking to my stepson first?

What are these acronyms?

[realityescapee01]

How Dare You

Jay Halstead x Reader (female) | gym crush | bad decisions

"So what's the matter? Why not pursue her then? Ask her out!" -Will was genuinely confused.

"I can't!" -Jay was so down.

His younger brother, Jay; popular, hot, good looking, easily gets girls. Now, is with him in Molly's and brooding and complaining and going in circles of self-pity and regret.

"This is new to me. Jay, couldn't get a girl. Why?"

"Because I rejected her."

"What?!? I don't understand."

Jay was working out in this gym when someone walked up to him.

"Hi." -Y/N waved at him.

"Can I help you?" -Jay took his earpods off.

"Yeah, uhm, hi. Sorry to bother you. I want to introduce myself, I'm Y/N. And uh, I... can I get your name? -Y/N was nervous.

Jay is not new to being approached and asked out. So this isn't unfamiliar. He somehow knew what's next.

"Oh. I'm Jay. Jay Halstead."

"Hi. Jay... so uhm, I've been... You've been my gym crush for months now and I would like to ask you out. Will you go out with me, Jay?" -Y/N was blushing and stuttering.

"Oh, Y/N. I'm sorry but I'm not interested in you." -Jay was frank. And Y/N isn't really Jay's type.

"Oh... oh, uhm, yeah. Okay. I understand... T-Thank you for being straight with me." -Y/N keep gesturing it's okay and started walking away.

But she had a near death experience a few weeks back and that changed her perspective on a lot of things. So she walked back to Jay.

"Jay, hey. Sorry. I understand, I respect your decision but... I'm sorry, I had a life or death situation before and it changed my outlook on a lot of things. And I don't wanna regret anything. So I'm... sorry, but please, go out with me. Just once. Just one date and I promise you, I'm not gonna bother you after." -Y/N was stuttering and her voice was shaking.

Jay looked down and shook his head. He had a lot of near deaths too. And he knows the feeling. He understands and he admires that.

"Okay. One date." -Jay smiled at Y/N.

"T-Thanks! Thanks a lot! Oh, uhm, wow. Okay, can I get your number so we could talk where and when?" -Y/N took her phone out.

"Uhm, how about this? Tomorrow. Here. You decide the time." -Jay was clear at the beginning that he isn't interested, so he isn't comfortable giving his number. And he's had a fair share of crazy girls hounding him for weeks.

"Oh. Yeah, sure. I understand... okay, tomorrow, here, uhm... 8am?" -Y/N placed her phone back in her pocket.

"8?"

"S-Sorry, I figured since I only have one date, I'd use the whole day. Don't worry, I'll bring you back by 7pm."

"Okay... Yeah. That would work."

"Okay. Thanks again." -Y/N waved goodbye and left Jay to do exercises again.

Y/N was a mix of excitement and nervousness.

-+-+-+-

That night, Y/N was panicking. She started to regret pushing Jay on a date. She started to regret saying anything at all. She was scared and nervous.

She doesn't do that often. Ask guys out. She never did. She never asked anyone out no matter how much she likes them. She never made the first move. But Jay is different. She likes him a lot. And it's one of her biggest regrets when she was in the hospital.

But there's no going back now. She had asked, -or rather, forced- Jay out on a date with her. So she has to do her best. She started planning everything for tomorrow. Where to go, what to do, eat, etc etc.

-+-+-+-

The next day, Y/N was early. Jay was right on time. They greeted each other. Both in just casual wear. Y/N smiled at Jay and asked him if he had coffee yet. To which Jay said no, not yet.

So, Y/N took him to Jay's frequent cafe. She figured it out from seeing Jay walk in with a coffee cup with the cafe's logo.

They lined up. It was quiet. Jay was quiet. Y/N was quiet. Because Y/N doesn't really know what to say. She's the quiet type.

They got their coffee and Y/N asked if they could sit by the park.

"Thanks. I just don't do well in crowded places." -Y/N was chuckling nervously.

"Understandable." -Jay sat next to her. Not too close, not too far either.

"Yeah... so..." -Y/N started talking. Small talks. Basic questions. Ask Jay about himself. And Jay asked her about herself too.

Jay, being a detective, kinda figured Y/N isn't used to doing this. The nerves and the blushing and the stuttering: dead giveaways.

Jay looked away for a while and smiled. Jay commends her for the courage. So Jay took his guard down a bit, and became more receptive.

Their talk became more casual. Some itsy bits of silent moment from time to time. But Y/N would find a topic to start talking again.

They decided to walk around the park. Talking about themselves. Discovering some hobbies and movies and series that they both like. Y/N was still nervous though. She kept taking glances at Jay. How Jay looks so good right now. And she hoped she look half as good as him at least.

They have different opinions on some things but would still find something similar with each other. Jay was kind and accommodating the whole conversation. He was being nice.

They headed out of the park and started walking out to the busy streets. Y/N was kinda lost. She doesn't really know where to go next. She lost bits of her plans from nervousness.

And Y/N was scared because he can see Jay could tell she's a little lost on things. Y/N began to panic a little. She doesn't want Jay to have a bad time on a date she insisted on.

She quickly looked around and saw a comic convention happening. Y/N was hesitating, because Jay might find it weird. But Y/N took a gamble. From the information she got on their talk in the park, she felt that Jay might appreciate this convention too.

"Jay, let's go check it out, huh?" -Y/N pointed at the convention hall.

"Sure."

They started crossing the street. Y/N was scared to death because Jay's answer was just one word. That's not good, right? Oh oh.

Y/N bought them tickets. The moment they stepped in, they were met with cosplayers and con-goers. Y/N looked at Jay's expression: he was confused. This is definitely something new to him.

"Uhm, Jay? Are you okay here?"

"Yeah. I'm good... Did they buy those clothes?" -Jay got curious.

"Oh. Yes and no." -Y/N perked up.

"Yes and no?"

"Yes, you could buy a set of costumes, and no, sometimes they make them from scratch."

"They make those?" -Jay eyeing the elaborate costumes and props.

"Yeah! You see." -Y/N started talking a lot. Y/N did cosplay before so she knows a lot about making costumes and props.

Jay was kinda surprised at how Y/N changed. She was nervous and lost a while ago but now, she's lively and talking so passionately. She lit up. She smiled. She laughed. She relaxed.

Y/N was having fun at the convention, dragging Jay along. She became selfish a bit. She thought: okay, I've never been in a convention for a long time. Oh well, I'd just be me. Better real me than fake me.

And Jay was warming up to it. Jay walked into this date not really expecting anything. He wasn't interested, remember? But he started to have fun too. Seeing Y/N have fun.

Until lunch hunger hit them.

"Uhm, Jay? Would you like to get lunch now?" -Y/N was looking at her watch.

"Yeah. I'm starving."

"I know a great japanese place. Do you like japanese?"

"Yeah, I do eat them. But not often."

Y/N smiled at him and they walked towards the japanese restaurant. Y/N asked Jay if he likes seafood or chicken or beef, to which Jay just said: all is okay with me. Order for me. You know this place more than I do.

So, Y/N ordered a platter meal with samples of all. Chicken, beef, and shrimp tempura and some rice. Y/N ordered one ramen too. Jay could tell Y/N loves her japanese cuisine.

Food arrived and they eat and talk some more. Jay grew more and more intrigued by Y/N. She paid for everything. After all, she insisted on this date that Jay initially didn't wanna go to.

After lunch, they headed back to the convention for a while. And then Y/N decided she'd like to spend the afternoon in the classic arcade.

"Uhm, yeah, I know. Cliché but I want to try." -Y/N shyly said.

Jay laughed a bit. "Yeah, cliché, but it's been a while since I played in the arcade."

So they went. And so it was Jay's turn to light up.

Jay remembered when he was younger, he frequents the arcades. Playing the cop, shooting game. And sinking some hoops in the basketball ring area. Y/N played with him throughout.

The shooting game, of course Jay did well, holding the toy gun expertly and shooting accurately. Almost getting to the end of the game if not for Y/N dying and losing tokens.

So they moved on to the basketball hoops. Y/N was competitive there. Spending quite a few tokens for a couple of rematches. They spent some tokens on claw machines too. Though getting nothing out of it.

After playing all the games they liked, they decided to call it quits. They walked the streets now.

Both of them relaxed by now. Talking and talking about things they have in common.

"Uhm, yeah. So... thanks for today, Jay."

"H-Huh?" -Jay didn't notice, he was having fun. He didn't notice they were back at the gym front. "...Oh."

"Yeah. Sorry, it's a little late than promised."

It was an hour past the agreed 7pm.

"It's okay." -Jay was having mixed emotions. He didn't expect much of this date. But he doesn't want the day to end either.

"Jay. Sorry for forcing you into this date. But I hope you had a great time."

"Y-Yeah. I did." -Jay really did. It's been a while since he let loose. Since he played in the arcade. Talked about his hobbies. The movies he likes. And the series he watches.

He only ever talks about work lately. With coworkers too. Drinking at Molly's and talking about more work. It's been a while since he had real fun. No work talks. No worries about work. No stress about work.

"Thanks Jay. And goodbye." -Y/N waved at him and began walking away.

Crossed the street and boarded the bus.

Jay watched her go. And he started getting this sinking feeling. That he may have made a bad decision.

He couldn't blame Y/N. He did reject her the first time. He couldn't just go and pretend that that didn't happen. He wanted to extend the date, take Y/N to Molly's and have a few drinks, get to know her more. But he can't do anything but wait for the next gym day to come. And there, he'd see what the situation is. If he could go and talk to Y/N again.

-+-+-+-

Jay was early on his gym day. He waited for Y/N to walk in. But she didn't. Jay just thought maybe Y/N skipped a day. And would be back tomorrow.

But she never did. It's been 2 weeks and Y/N never walked back into the gym. Jay figured she must've transferred to another... remembering her say, -no, promise- that after the date, she'd never bother him again.

And this must be Y/N's way of not bothering him again.

Jay regretted not getting Y/N's number. He's left currently with nothing. He did thought about asking the gym front desk for Y/N's info but he knows he'll never get that. Data privacy and all.

He did also thought to try to run Y/N's name in the PD system, but he didn't get her full name. It would take a significant amount of time to go through all the similar names in the system, both: the records of those with offenses and those who doesn't. Plus, he couldn't keep going through them, because the searches are logged and recorded.

And here he is, in Molly's, ranting to his brother about it...

Will was quiet a while. This is a first. He reached for his drink and downed it all.

Jay was looking so miserable. "Believe me, I want to. But I couldn't. Because I rejected her. I feel ashamed. Rejecting her, saying she's not my type and then what? Come up now saying: hey, I changed my mind."

"Exactly. That's exactly what you're gonna do. You never know, Jay. Just call her, tell her you lik her and ask her to talk about it."

"I don't have her number."

"What?!?"

"She tried getting mine, I didn't give mine. So we never texted. I never got her number. And I never asked until the end."

"O-kay~..." -Will ordered another bottle of beer. This is the predicament. "So, uhm, you're a detective. You could find her, right?"

"I'm trying." -Jay was walking around after work, on other gyms. And is going back to the arcade they played at. Everyday. Hoping he'd see Y/N there.

"In the gym. Her friends in the gym. Ask them?"

"She goes alone."

"Her work? Did she say where she works?"

"She did. She's a designer. Home based."

"And she didn't say where her home is?"

"Yeah."

"Okay... what if, she stays at home all the time and only goes out for groceries or gym.. near her house. Oh yeah, you won't see her again."

Jay gave Will the side eye.

"Sorry. Sorry. I'm just thinking of possibilities. She said she had an accident? Did she go to Med? I could ask around if she did."

"Yeah. She never went into details about that. And I never asked."

"Oh... okay, maybe the conventions? She might go there."

"... Yeah. That's a good option."

Jay googled for all the pop culture conventions schedule.

"Coz it's impossible to not see her again around here. Unless she moved cities or states."

"Ugh, I hope not."

"Why did you even reject her in the first place?!? I mean, okay, I get it. You don't like her, at that time, but you could've said: sorry I can't go on a date or something. Instead of saying: I'm not interested in you... That kinda really closed all the doors and windows, Jay."

"I know! That's why I couldn't say anything... I don't know why I said that back then. I was in a bad mood, maybe? I don't know."

There are 3 conventions lined up for this month. 2 of those are held at the same time at different venues. Another hurdle. What if Y/N is at the other venue while Jay is at the other? Or if Y/N came in a costume? A mask?

Jay ordered another bottle. They both finished their drinks and decided to end the nigh. Tomorrow, Jay will try to find Y/N again.

-+-+-+-

Jay was debating about which convention to go check for Y/N. She thought if he were Y/N, where would he go? Knowing Y/N doesn't like crowded places but a convention is an exception.

Jay was holding the two flyers in his hands; looking at them over and over at them -until he read the name of the guests. He remembered Y/N say she idolizes that artist. Now Jay knows which one to go to.

Jay grabbed his coat. He knocked at Sergeant Voight's office.

"Hey, Sarge, just gonna step out a bit."

"Working on a lead?" -Voight

"Uh, no... gonna see about a girl."

"Oh..."

"It won't take long."

"It's fine, Jay. Go."

Jay said his thanks and headed out. Straight to the convention.

They were lots of people. Jay kept looking for Y/N. Reaching out to some, tapping their shoulders, and mistaking them.

"Sorry, wrong person." -Jay apologized to the latest one.

He walked towards the food booths, hoping to see if Y/N is eating there. He mistakes a few more girls before he decided to step out. He stood by the entrance. He was losing patience when he finally saw Y/N.

"Hey!" -Jay held her by the hands, making her turn and face him.

"J-Jay? Oh, hey." -Y/N was a little confused seeing Jay again.

"Y/N..." -Jay was feeling a lot of things. Joy, relief, and...

Jay gripped Y/N's wrist a little too tight and dragged her to his car.

"J-Jay, hey! That's a little tight-it hurts." _Y/N was trying to free her wrist from Jay.

Jay stopped just right at the side of his car, trapping Y/N between him and the car. "Y/N... How dare you?!?" Jay was feeling joy and relief for finding Y/N but he also felt angry.

"W-What?"

"How dare you leave?"

"Jay, you said-"

"You left. After taking me on a date. After making me like you, you left. I waited for you. Back at the gym. 2 weeks you never came back. I figured you transferred. But I kept looking for you. Every day. Out there."

"Wait, but you rejected me, Jay!"

"I waited for you at the gym, to talk to you!"

"I promise to not bother you after so I changed gyms. Jay, you rejected me. I was hurt! There is no way I'd be able to move on if I keep going to that gym. And also, it'll bother you, I don't want that."

"Well, I'm here now! telling you-" -Jay slowed down. He took a deep breath and calmed himself down. "When I went on that date with you, it was just out of respect for you surviving near death. I wasn't expecting anything. You aren't even my type. But, on that date, I had a great time. With you. I wanted to get to know you more. I wanted to keep going on dates with you but I couldn't."

Y/N was just staring at Jay. Couldn't believe what she's hearing.

"I couldn't because I rejected and made it pretty clear that I'm not interested in you. So it didn't feel right to ask you then. So I waited until the next gym day to see you and talk to you. But you never came."

"Jay-"

"I'm sorry. I rejected you before but I would really like a second date, Y/N."

"..." _Y/N was blushing and couldn't believe it. Her shooting her shot was worth it in the end. Yes! Of course! But you hurt me... I'll make you work for it really hard."

"I'm up for it."

-+-+ (complete ) +-+-

thank you. more on my master list here

I also have an AO3 account

my art/design shop here (for fanart and other things I do)

Like the gifs used here? See source under them. Reblog, do not repost. Thank you all gif creators here ♥️

[usedpidemo]

the craziest christmas party ive ever attended...(storytime!)

God, the flu fucking sucks. Imagine being healthy for three straight years, working out as often as possible, and then the one time you get caught in the middle of a rain, the next day you begin falling ill. Headaches. Body aches. Cough. Dry throat. Completely zapped all my energy and three years of positive momentum just like that.

One week later, after several trips to the hospital, plenty of rest and medications in between, I was beginning to pick myself back up. If there was any silver lining, I lost weight during that time period because I couldn't eat anything. Even so, I still felt...off. I was forgetting things more often than usual, my clarity and awareness would disappear at random times, and it felt like my body was moving on its own. I felt like I had no control over myself.

This is practically the reason why I've kind of disappeared over the last month or so. The illness completely took me down and I've basically forgotten how to write :< Seriously, I feel like the main character in Memento, trying to pick up the pieces of what the hell happened. I'm getting better with each passing day, though, so hopefully this will all be behind me as we enter the holiday season.

Anyway, it's not often that this country gets to host an international entertainment event, let alone one of the premier Korean awards. No idea, I don't really watch these things at all. The idea of seeing so many K-pop acts and actors in one setting appealed to me. Not to mention the actual lineup? NewJeans! Le sserafim! Mother Eunbi! Itzy! Stayc! Kep1er! Kim Sejeong! Many of these acts are either making their stage debut or have returned numerous times. This was easily a must attend. Who knows when we'll get another opportunity like this, especially after the controversy and backlash surrounding the handling of the ceremony.

I got fortunate buying the tickets. To be fair, they were expensive by local concert standards; 50 USD at the very back to 450 for VIP, which is a significant punch up compared to a typical K-pop concert even solo held in the very same arena. Not to mention, the site automatically picks the tickets for you, rather than give buyers the freedom of choice to select specific seats. It also helps that the pricing turned plenty of people off, on top of previous negative experiences in that arena for other fans. Even better was when I actually entered the venue; since there were so many vacant seats during the beginning, we were moved up to the very front, right where the artists were all seated ahead of us.

Honestly. Shitty camera aside, the scenes were priceless.

I admit I mostly went for the female acts, especially my girlies Le sserafim and Eunbi, but I've learned to give so much respect and appreciate everyone who performed. Regardless of their status and popularity, nugu or main event, the crowd was electric and passionate: they would cheer, sing along to the songs, and interact with the performer when they would ask. There wasn't a dull moment all throughout the seven hour program.

Speaking of seven hours, I can see why I don't watch this shit live: it can be taxing to the mind and body. I had to get up during one of the longer awardings, one where they gave it to like 10 different artists just to stretch my legs. I respect what Wonyoung, Daniel, and Hanbin did to host, cause I'm pretty sure either way my legs would end up melting like jelly after everything that had transpired.

Man. NewJeans. Freaking NewJeans. I understand why they're so beloved and revered like they're the second coming: they truly love their fans. And holy shit, the pop from the audience when they entered the venue for the first time, and they were practically the main characters of the show. Every little thing they did was met with raucous applause. They waved at us like a dozen times all throughout the show and were having fun from beginning to end. Also, the crowd went fucking crazy for their performance. OMG into ETA is insanely hard.

AND THE AUDACITY TO FOLLOW UP NEWJEANS WITH MOTHERFUCKING LE SSERAFIM?! Best transition ever! Their set was even better than MAMA: Perfect Night (holy shit that choreo) into Eve, Psyche, and Bluebeard's Wife (holy shit that choreo). Their aura was through the roof! Unsurprisingly, they also had the crowd going nuclear.

I'm just gonna blitz through the section of favorite performances because if I had to describe them all this would be longer than any of my fics in recent times. Kim Jaejoong is a fucking legend and I was shook when he transitioned from balladeer to a goddamn rockstar. The opening with &Team and SB19 with Gento set the tone for the rest of the show. Kep1er's dance breaks. GOD. I wish it wasn't accompanied with flashing lights cause they were so fucking hot. Mother Kwon Eunbi proved why she's goddamn mother! ITZY had me singing fucking Cake of all songs. AKMU was quirky and fun and thats why I love K-pop. Also, the sibling dynamic reminded me of my rather strange and turbulent relationship with my sister. Just a random anecdote.

The ending was where shit was dialed up to eleven. I feel very lukewarm towards Stray Kids' newer releases post Back Door, but they absolutely brought the heat by opening with Maniac. Get Lit then Topline was when they brought everyone to their feet, including us the audience! And if that wasn't enough, here comes BooSeokSoon (BSS) to end the show on the perfect high. Like none of us were sitting down once it ended.

On top of all the performances, there's the interactions too. Oh man. I was hoping that Le sserafim, ITZY, Kep1er, or Eunbi—any combination of these—would be seated on our side, but we got NewJeans. And they kept interacting with us. So much. Every single member noticed me at least once and I somehow got Hanni on camera. Insanity. If that wasn't enough, NMIXX were also placed on our side, and Lily, Haewon, Bae, and Kyujin waved at us multiple times as well, including during the final goodbyes. STAYC's Yoon went around to wave to everyone in the audience during the intermission period, and after their initial entrance into the venue, Sumin and Seeun waved at us. I really wish I had my cameras on but I was so focused on capturing anyone's attention! It worked; I also got the attention of several other groups, from ZeroBaseOne to Tempest to SB19 to Sakurazaka46. They transferred Le sserafim over to our side late into the ceremony and I was hoping they would interact with us; it wasn't meant to be. I don't have any negative feelings cause I still got copiously blessed with so many other acts.

I don't know what's gonna happen moving forward. Considering the backlash and issues that have sprung in regards to the handling of the ceremony, there's a good likelihood an award show of this scale will ever be hosted again. Or maybe the energy shown by the crowd will inspire future ceremonies, like MAMA or Golden Disc. Who knows. What I do know is that everything about this felt like both a dream and a movie. To see many of my favorites, gain respect for groups I hadn't heard of till last week, and just attend an award show in general is a damn good way to end the year.

[cbk1000]

Hey, so kind of a general writing/not been on tumblr much update (because apparently I'm so perpetually online people will ask me if I'm ok after a few days of me not posting as much lmao): I have been having some health issues. I haven’t really mentioned them aside from updating a couple people I talk to daily on why I've been so quiet because a.) I felt too poorly to do anything other than marathon sitcoms I've seen a bazillion times, and b.) I didn't know what was going on.

The tl; dr is that, after getting diagnosed with strep throat a few weeks ago, and feeling mostly normal aside from some minor irritation in my throat, I started feeling horribly weak and overall just fucking terrible, and I was having bad tachycardia. Like a heart rate in the high 130s just standing, and a sitting heart rate of like 110 (my normal resting heart rate is in the low 70s). Three trips to the ER later, a bunch of normal labs and cardiac tests, and my boss (ER nurse for 20 years) pushing for an echo, and I finally got a diagnosis of pericarditis, which is inflammation of the sac around your heart. It's most commonly caused by viruses. The ER doc suspects my strep throat was misdiagnosed and I had a virus that caused the inflammation of my heart, although I think bacterial infections can sometimes cause it as well. I've been put on high dose ibuprofen and some acid reflux meds to protect my stomach while I'm on such a high dose of ibuprofen, and I have to take it easy for at least the next week and then be careful and play it by ear. I have been too weak to even sit up much for the past several days and cannot stand for very long, which is infuriating as someone who does one-armed push-ups for funsies.

Anyway, all this is to say, I'm still alive, the next chapter of Book of Merthur (for any of you following it) was coming along just fine but for obvious reasons is a bit postponed now. I'll probably be off work all next week again and hopefully will feel strong enough to get in a bit of writing. (And for any readers about to say, 'Oh my God, don't worry about that, take care of yourself!!' I am literally gnashing my teeth to go back to writing and am furious that my last week or so has consisted of me being too exhausted even to read. I've been marathoning sitcoms I've seen a bazillion times, I'm not even much of a TV watcher, and I'm going crazy. Yesterday I lifted two books to get to the one I wanted underneath them, and was so exhausted I went straight back to bed. THEY WERE PAPERBACKS. AND NOT WAR AND PEACE PAPERBACKS.)

[canthavetoomuchchaos]

Quiet houses.

Platonic Asher +David.

This will be set during the Quinn problem, as I can't think of something else to make David tense enough for this.

Tw: yelling, flinching, avoidance,

David is tense at work, Asher tries to help. It doesn't go over well. Tank being Tank has kept their crazy ex boyfriend being loose a secret, so now he doesn't know who is safe and who isn't. (Tank is not in this fic.)

David ran his hand through his hair for the millionth time in the past half hour, his other hand filling out some contracts for the next few upcoming jobs. He blinks and slams the pen down harshly with a loud growl, Angel hasn't answered their phone for 15 minutes and they usually answer right away.

"David?" Asher pokes his head into the doorway of his office, a concerned grin on his face.

"you okay buddy? Sounded a lot like you just threw something just now" he takes a brief look around the room, finding nothing, he makes his way into the office. As he takes the few steps to get behind David he can see the tenseness of his shoulders. He doesn't realize it's not stress tensing him up, but anxiety, which would have changed his course of action drastically. He approaches slowly, gently reaching his hands to his best friend's shoulders and squeezing.

Asher barely gets a few rolls of his thumbs in David's shoulders before he is pulling his hands away, David's hands had slowly gotten more and more tense, gripping his desk as he tries not to snap at Asher. Ash takes his hands away and leans forward to check on his friend, a concerned look to his eyes.

"hey buddy, you alright? You're real tense today.." He uses a quieter tone, maybe David has a headache?

"you need me to do anything? I can get you some meds, or maybe some cold water? Oh! Milo showed me a cool pressure point by your ear for headaches! Do you think that will-" Asher is cut off by David's fist slamming against the desk, a fiery glare in his eyes as he stares straight forward, his mouth spouting words he never, ever, wanted to say to his best friend ever again.

"Asher! Just shut the fuck up for once in your fucking life! I've got too much shit going on for you to be rambling in my ears, especially not right now with fucking Quilt or whatever the hell his name is! so just leave me alone for one Goddamn minute before I fucking hurt you"

David's breath was labored as he finished speaking, Asher was frozen, his face blank and confused as he tried to will the heavy lump in his throat to go away. He nods, picking his lips nervously, and swallows. He takes a breath and walks back to the door.

"okay. I'm sorry." His voice is quiet, hardly a whisper of his naturally loud voice. And he leaves the room.

A week later and David has yet to figure out why Asher won't speak to him, he's confused. Asher will stand next to him like normal, though he seems more tense, more like he's trying to appear professional. He won't come into David's office anymore, instead texting or Emailing him for whatever he needs. It's unbearable. Finally David corners him after a job, grabbing the back of his shirt and pulling him into his office. Asher stands there, bewildered and very, very tense.

"....David? Why'd you pull me in here..?" David stares for a moment as he registers his best friend calling him by his name. He never uses his name, it's always one of those nickname she comes up with.

"why aren't you talking to me? I've been trying to figure it out all week, and nothing I can think of would make you avoid me like this. So, you and I are staying here until we figure it out." He says, a concerned look to his eyes as Asher shifts his weight, looking almost....is he uncomfortable?

"...David, it's fine, I'm just having an off week or something. Really we don't have to stay here-" he tries to move toward the door, though he is cut off by David's body.

"I know you Ash, if you were having an off week you wouldn't be avoiding me and only me. You would be pretending you were fine and giving me half hearted innuendos right now. What's going on?" He pauses

"did your partner break up with you?" A very offended "no!" In response.

"did you do something and you're going it from me?" Asher shakes his head. David pauses again.

"....did I do something?" His voice is lowered, now rethinking the past week as much as he can recall. Asher doesn't respond and David says nothing, getting all the confirmation he needed from the silence. It hits him like a truck when he remembers the words he said in his heated stress. His eyes widen and his heart drops.

"Ash, I didn't-" he's cut off by a suspiciously wet, sad voice from Asher.

"it's fine David, really. I get it. Can I go? Please...?" David huffs a breath, feeling helpless. He then, no hesitation, shifts on the spot. A large wolf appearing in front of Asher, head hanging low as he allows himself to let out quiet whines.

Asher wipes his tear filled eyes, a confused frown on his face.

"what're you-" he laughs briefly

"what're you doing David? Shift back" he only gets a short growl in response.

"why not?" He says, fighting the smile trying to grow as he kneels next to David. David has done this to cheer him up since they were kids and he couldn't shift yet. David would shift so Asher could play with the 'puppy' when he was sad.

David huffs and puts a paw over his muzzle, hitting himself multiple times. Asher huffs and sits in front of David.

"okay. I'm not upset anymore. It just hurt. Words hurt a lot sometimes..." David whines loudly, almost like a husky yell. Asher laughs.

"I'm fine big guy. I know you were stressed. I didn't realize I was avoiding you." David snuffs and headbutts Asher in the stomach, knocking him over.

"what- David! I'm fine now buddy, you don't have to keep doing this, I know you hate it." He gets a growl in response as David plops his head onto Asher's chest. Asher lifts his head to pet David.

"really? This is how we're resolving this? A cuddle?" David huffs, closing his eyes and letting out a grumbly sound. Asher snorts and relaxes onto the floor.

"alright. I guess this isn't so bad."

______

TOOK ALL DAY BUT ITS DONE!!! HOPE YOU LIKE ITTTT!!!

@miya-akiko

Ta daaaa~

[misc-obeyme]

YEAHHH SOLOMAMS FOR THE WIN- I'VE GOT KINDA AN OUTLINE OF THE SONGFIC TOO !! Preview straight from my notes that I wrote on the bus (the ring thing is something I've started doing):

"I wanted to say 10 because i have to go to bed at 10, but simeon said that was too early! So you better have him back here in one piece by 12. And no later!"

"Alright, fido. Back in one piece, got it" Mammon visibly fidgeting with his pinky ring, twisting it around his finger.

"H-hey um... Solomon's been trying to decide on what to wear all day. We've been trying to keep him out of the kitchen as well because he wanted to bake you something. He's just as nervous as you, even if he doesn't show it. So... Don't worry, alright?"

also horchata anything is to die for. There was some people selling agua fresca in a parking lot and I begged my mom to turn there so I could buy us some aksjdj.

And yes!! I keep getting videos of people making lace with all the bobbins!! Raphael would make the coolest stuff I bet!

OKAY THE LAST PART OF MY ASK GOT NAUGHTY LMAO, JUST A WARNING:

HELP, YEAH IT WOULD DEFINITELY COME UP WHEN THEY'RE GETTING FRISKY AJSJD. please imagine solomon takes off his shirt during and both Mammon and I point at different tattoos and are like "hey! I've seen a photo of that at the shop I go to!" and everyone does the spiderman meme pose "wait! you know about Reaper's Cave Studio?! How?!"

(Cue the three of them getting sidetracked examining Solomon's tattoos that they forget what they were originally doing.)

Like thirteen def posts on social media but also has photos on the wall/in a binder of past work she's done. And Sol is her test dummy, so his tattoos appear a lot.

Mine would just be a scattering of star sparkle tattoos on my collarbone, but easy to hide under my shirts so the boys usually never see them (similar to my sign off basically). I have an idea about the boys and my tattoos and it involves the constellations ,,,heh

akskf okay okay listen, about Mammon's piercing ,,,, hey man,,, h-hear me out,,, AKDJFJ pls im making myself sweat thinking about it because. I have. Thoughts and feelings that need to stay in my mind. But he definitely has nipple piercings and a dick piercing. I follow this artist on patreon and I can't imagine him any other way 😭 like, the one where it's on the underside across? The jacobs ladder one is maybe what I'm thinking of ?? I'm not about to google that to see if I'm right though. But yeah! He just,,, looks good in gold is all I'll say-

IF I HAD ANYTHING ELSE TO SAY I CAN'T REMEMBER BUT YIPPEE SLEEPOVER SCENE SOON OKAY BYEE

- ✨ anon

a;lksdfjf LUKE being all protective and then reassuring Mammon in the next sentence I CANNOT.

I love when the Purgatory Hall crew act like a lil family it's so cute! And Mammon being all nervous ahhh precious babies!!

Horchata is delicious and I will get it at every opportunity! A friend of mine had horchata at their wedding and they had a couple gallons left over and they just gave it all to me 'cause they knew how much I love it. Truly the best week of my life lol!

YES the lace bobbins!!! I was like I can see it in my mind, Raphael getting all crazy about it and making intricate patterns with that stuff like it's no big deal...

AH that is EXACTLY the scenario I was imagining!!! Just everybody being like wait that tattoo!!! LOL!!

I love that you just recognize Solomon's from Thirteen's portfolio lol that is perfection! And it does make sense if he has a bunch from her!

Star sparkle tattoos I love it... also constellations!!

AH I want nipple piercings so bad! Um, but anyway, yes you are thinking of the Jacob's Ladder! It's barbells that go down the bottom of the shaft, so they're like rungs! I think three is the standard but I'm sure you could do more if you want. Anyway, I totally imagine the same thing I cannot believe that Mammon doesn't have at least one dick piercing and the Jacob's Ladder situation just seems like what he'd go for!

I'm also just obsessed with piercings in general so perhaps that has to do with it. But he's the only one who actually has piercings in canon that we know of, so who's to say he doesn't have a Jacob's Ladder, right??

The only reason he doesn't have canon nipple piercings is because Solmare are cowards lol.

That boy definitely looks good in gold...

WOO sleepover!!

[potato-jem]

hello nero my beloved soulmate!!!

i have pride stories!!! i went to pride this saturday and it was so much fun i need to tell you all about it!!!

well first of all i really hate that i had to work in the morning because it made me so tired and it was the first weekend of sales so yea, not fun. but anyway, my friend picked me up at 3pm and we got to florence. we had to park pretty far from the meeting point and then take a bus, and it was amazing because we were totally lost looking for that bus and at some point we see a bus full of people with rainbow flags, glitter, signs, flower crowns, rainbow stickers and temporary tattoos and all of that. and we just went in, no questions asked. we just figured we’d follow them out of the bus too 😂 i love our people honestly. we were so colorful

anyway we got to the meeting point and it was deadly hot. i swear there were like 45 degrees. but it was so amazing to be around all of those people dressed in all colors and wearing all sorts of things we’d usually be judged for, it felt so safe. except that there was a religious protestor so we got to give him the finger like the heartstopper cast did :)

also my sister came with me. she’s always so supportive and it meant the world that she came with me. anyway the parade started and there were some amazing floats. there were rainbow families, drag queens, all the lgbtqia+ associations from our territory and we started walking behind this float that had amazing music, so we started dancing and singing and it was so much fun!!! we got to talking with some people, there were some amazing signs that were just perfect and i had to go there and tell them how much i loved them :) it was just so fun, i loved meeting random people and it was just the perfect environment. at night there was also a dj set and a band singing to keep the show going!!

then when we were walking back to the bus stop at night we got the whiplash of not being surrounded by queer people anymore. we got catcalled like fifteen times in the span of three minutes. i kinda wanted to punch everyone because we had such a perfect day and i hated that we had to go back to the real world where people are shit 🥲

but still i got so many amazing memories and now all i want to do is book a flight to london for next year and have you come with me so we can celebrate together and see the heartstopper cast!!!!

also, i got a new tattoo yesterday!! and i actually had red white and royal blue with me to distract me so i almost finished the book again and cried in from of my tattoo artist lol it took me the whole day again and it was so painful but so worth it!!! i got medusa on my leg 😻

also, as to our previous letter i just wanted to say that of course i believed in you!!!! i knew you could do it!! but i can definitely believe you had to close your eyes to open that message 😂 getting grades back is always so stressful!! now manifesting a spot for the exchange 🕯️🕯️🕯️ i really hope you get it!!! it’s an amazing experience, you’d definitely love it!!!

and i’m really glad you found someone who specialises in what you need. it can take a while to find the right therapist but i hope this one works out!!

(i’m also writing down sydney and melbourne for when i’m rich enough to visit 😂 i literally booked a flight for august and my bank account kinda yelled at me to stop spending money i don’t have lol)

anyways i’m really sorry i’ve been away for so long, i had a crazy week between the beginning of seasonal sales, pride and the tattoo appointment. i kinda didn’t have time to do anything 🥲

i’m giving you a hug and some homemade chocolate chip cookies with biscoff cream on top <33

hello cece my beloved soulmate!!!!

oh my god i've been so excited to hear about this!!!

that sucks you had to go to work, boo!!! but at least you were off early enough to still go to pride!!!! and how cool that you got to share the experience of going on the bus with all the queer people!! i bet there was no straight and/or cis people on that bus 😂😂😂 just follow the rainbow!!

hot days are the worst, but pride would have made it so much better. i would not be focused on how sweaty i was or the temperature with the amount of queer joy happening around me! it's so wonderful that in a parade full of people and colour that you were able to feel so incredibly safe, and it would have been such an intimate moment for you! and fuck that religious protestor, i'm so glad you gave him the finger. the heartstopper cast would be so proud of you :')

oh that warms my heart that your sister came!!! that was so nice of her to come with you!! the floats sound amazing, and the singing and dancing!!! i am feeling some of the joy through my screen!! seriously, cece, this sounds like the most incredible time. i want to cry just thinking about you having so much fun with your friend and your sister, celebrating your queerness and talking to new people and singing and dancing like there's no one else around 🥲🥲🥲

the trip home must have been so dull in comparison! and how dare those people catcall you, i hope you gave them the same treatment as that religious protestor because seriously what the fuck.

the only thing that matters now is that you had a safe and wonderful time at pride and you can cherish those memories for the rest of your life! and yes, we must do it!! i will literally stay for an extra month just to go to pride in london with you <3

oh my god yay!!! i bet the medusa tattoo looks so cool! and yes reading rwrb while getting tattooed is properly not your best idea, but i'm already rereading rwrb any chance i get to annotate it fully before the movie so i can't say much 😂

okay, cece, i must let you know, because i said to myself i would let you know as soon as i could. but this morning, i woke up (quite late actually). i checked my watch for my notifications. i see an email waiting for me. i die a little inside realising it is from the exchange team at my university. i run out to grab my phone from where i charge it. i speed past my mum. i unlock my phone. i open my email and click on the newest one. and.... I GOT A SPOT EARLY!!! AT MY FIRST UNIVERSITY TOO!!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??? i'm still in so much shock and i thank you for your manifesting and belief in me!!! oh my god i have so much to do before then (mostly saving money ngl 😂) but oh my god cece, i'm going to england for exchange!!!!!!

me too!! i just need to find the time to get a referral, so i can go and see them!!

(literally sydney and melbourne are lowkey expensive, but it is totally worth it!! and i would be more than happy to tell you where to go and where to stay! <3)

do not apologise!!! we are all busy! i am literally working the equivalent of a full time job over the next two weeks and i'm also dogsitting over the weekend :') pray for my poor soul.

i'm giving you the biggest hug i hope contains the same warmth as pride and i'm fighting off your customers so you can have a few moments to breathe <3333

[starjxsung]

HEY STAR!!! so remember how I promised to spill about my injury updates??? umm I finally got some answers, which I'm excited about but everyone else seems nervous about lmao 😭 so basically I've had really bad knee pain for like, half my life and no one knew what it was. i recently had MRIs and I just had my follow up today so yayyy! the doctor was also kinda fine so that's a bonus 🤭 but I went with my dad since I'm back home rn and the doctor told us that he can see a few different issues from my X-rays and MRIs, and on their own, they wouldn't be a big deal. buttt since I have them all, they're causing lots of issues. he literally called me complex 💀 and he walked us through a couple surgeries that he thinks could help the problem. the one he thinks would help the most is kinda a lot 😀 basically he wants to cut through my femur, realign it so it's straight, and hold it in place with a plate and screws.... so yeah. and if I do end up going with that one, he'd do the left first, let it recover, and if it works well and heals nicely, he'd go back in to do my right. tbh I'm not really concerned about the actual surgery cutting into my leg amd sawing through my bone part, but I'm more worried about the recovery time especially because i play softball. but also I'm just glad to finally get answers after so long of doctors just telling me "yeah, there's something wrong, let's do physical therapy and see if it helps" FOR NINE+ YEARS 😭 like yeah atp i dont think its helping very much, is it?

but anyways I bought my ATE album and I'm excited for that. I MISSED YOU STAR BBY IM SO EXCITED TO FINALLY FILL YOU IN! HOW ARE YOU???

my kitties say hello 💕💕💕

OH MY GOD????((( I mean I’m so glad you finally got some answers and that they were able to find an underlying cause but that sounds so intense ☹️☹️☹️☹️ have you scheduled the surgery yet or are you still deciding whether you want to get it? Also what IS the recovery time??? I’m so sorry bby that sounds really rough ☹️ especially since you play softball!!!! Keep me posted on whether you go through with it aaaaaa I’m rooting for you so hard and I’m sending you all my love and healing vibes ☹️🫶🫶🫶🫶 I will deadass send flowers to your hospital room I LOVE U 💐🌻🌷🪻🌹

ALSO MY ATE ALBUM SHIPPED YURRRRR comeback this week it doesn’t even feel real 😭😭 I’m seeing Ateez tonight and then flying to LA to see them again and then Lolla the week after next and I’m crazy busy at work AAAAA I’m so stressed but also just excited for everything and I wish I could take a month off just to sleep after all my shows 😭 ALSO HELLO TO UR KITTIES WOWOWOWOW THEY’RE SO CUTIE

I love u so much angel baby keep me posted on everything I’m rooting for u so hard !!!!!!!!! LOVE UUUUUU happy skz comeback week take care of yourself for me 👼🫶🫶🫶🫶❤️ here’s momo who’s also cheering for u

[canipetthatdeaddove]

hello there! You've certainly been busy! I hope all the activity has helped! Things are looking up for you, and your post seems to hint at positivity for you? I hope so. You deserve good things and are working hard to bring them about! Excited to read your work for TRSB, you are a wonderful author ( ps I mis magnificent centuries too - I love that Fili was warned off Kili, I just always see them wanting to be with each other; Thorin is so coniving! ) Have a comforting day, and don't let the intrusive thought take over!

(You didn't ask for this long a response but the can was opened and out came the worms. Sorry!!)

I'm sorry my post didn't hint at more positivity. I re-read it and was like DANG I sound grumpy. I know I don't need to apologize, but mainly, it wasn't my intention. I'm excited to have a moment to breathe and share with my tumblr community, but I think the accidental clipped tone is indicative of how manic and kinda scared I feel by all the amazing activity and progress that's suddenly happening. I feel wired and fried, and just keep wanting to either catch up to this pace, or for things to slow down considerably.

I am building a small jewelry business now, have a part time job, and enrolled part time in uni, still run my dog grooming business and am currently in the middle of a dog sitting gig. I've taken on the labor of providing this recovery meeting in my city in addition to attending all my commitments to my Native American sobriety group, while also very much wanting to write and balance my schedule and be a good mom.

There are so many factors at play with whether or not my day goes well or poorly, and being on a very effective weight loss med is one of them. I'm in a near constant caloric deficit, and had a health scare last month because my orthostatic blood pressure was cray-cray and I kept swooning due to a dramatic decrease in salt in my diet lololol. There was no beefy handsome stranger to catch me, and I'm lucky I was okay whenever it happened considering I was alone. I'm doing better this month. Normal blood pressure stats in my appt this week.

So I am thrilled that my life is going the way it is after so many depressing years in addiction and unhappiness, but, it's like... I have not been conditioned to operate at this level of socializing and what have you for over 15 years. I'm very afraid of messing it all up. I wish I would quit it, lol. I am just so fucking MUCH of a person (not flexing, I'm straight up complaining). But it's nice to kinda have that come back to life. I did a pretty effective job of killing the real me for a while. Real me is a lot. Which ya'll know.

And I shouldn't project negativity about my TRSB submission. I got in the way of me having as much fun with it as I should have, and I'm the only one already assuming my exchange partner will feel slighted or the rare pair's fandom will hiss at me and my submission like snakes. I'll practice better mindfulness with the next FiKi thingy I signed up for (because I Just. Can't. Quit.).

Thank you for being excited for my things!!! I'm looking forward to posting my edits of TMC and getting the next chapter out before the end of the year. I want another chapter for House of Rivia before the end of the year as well. Hopefully those aren't completely crazy goals. It means so much to know folks are still engaged despite my absence.

Thanks so much for the encouragement. 🥹

[girlypopbops]

The " I'm So Back" - Back to School Saga ⋆˙⟡♡

This past weekend I came back to my dorm since being home for two weeks. It has seriously been the most refreshing week, and the last two days have been nothing short of exhilarating.

With the new school year ahead, I wanted to hit the reset button on all elements of my life ( my self care routine, daily routines, style, music taste, general aesthetic). While back home a few weeks ago, I began exploring more authentic aesthetics based on my current and childhood interests. I also did a music revamp, making new playlists and adjusting old ones to set the vibe for the upcoming year. Having all this done before coming back to my dorm made it easy to jump right into things once getting back.

I started the week back by decorating my dorm. I had the dorm to myself so I played music and took my time arranging things. I love decorating so this was a total blast.

Each evening I gave myself a self care task, one night was shaving legs, the next a face mask, another a teeth strip, ect... This helped me to get not only my space but my body ready for back to school season.

Yesterday was my first day back at work , my goals was to give a great impression while getting to know everyone since there's more people with the fall semester beginning. I also wanted to just kick the year off on a strong note! I had the amazing opportunity to talk to so many new and sweet people! I spent quality time with a few new coworker friends, we did various tasks which helped me to get to know everyone more and ask them some questions. Talking to new people and getting to be social and bubbly is something that really helps my mental health. I feel like my most true self when I get to turn on my social mode. I'm full of enthusiasm, confident, and always being silly. It felt nice to have the people at work see my personality come out since the summer semester was very relaxed I didn't have a chance to fully express myself.

Today I woke up around 4:30am and just chilled in bed until around 6:45. I got ready and played with the kitty & watching the sunrise while listening to some jazz music. Just before 8 I went on a lovely walk to work, today was a particularly exciting day at work since it was move in day on campus. All the freshmen are there with their families excited to move in, it's so sweet to watch. I'm lucky enough to be working with housing so I got to be apart of all the action and did check-ins for 6 hours straight, sounds crazy but I had a blast! I got to meet everyone coming to live on campus and have brief nice conversations with them. I also had some amazing chats with my coworkers in between check ins ( we did laughed a ton and got to know eachother , but it was a great feeling getting to strengthen bonds with coworkers ). My boss was also super supportive today and I met many encouraging and kind people in my department who somehow all knew me already. It felt like I was really becoming apart of the housing team. It's been a while since i've felt like i've been apart of a team like that, back in high school I would do work in technical theater and it satisfied that same sense of community. It feels amazing to reconnect with that feeling again and be socializing so much after having a year of not being so social. I ended the day with a great shower, mcdonald's ( my favorite mcchicken) , play with the kitty, and watching pretty little liars ( my pre - autumn tv show of choice ). Sitting here now snuggling with kitty, a vanilla candle on, all showered and clean, & the lights dim, i'm over the moon grateful for these moments and I know more are to come.

With this being my senior year I knew I wanted to make it a great one, but really seeing the greatness come into fruition before my eyes has been absolutely incredible.

I'm so excited for the rest of the school year, especially for getting my school supplies, new outfits, and getting into the groove things! I'll be sharing my routines and such along the way - I'm so excited to post about it all!!

[divinationrose]

The past few days - documenting everything (spirit guides) 🌿

So after what happened, which I wrote the other day, lots of other very confirming things happened in the same evening that I was indeed connecting to spirits.

I ended up just babbling all the happenings to my friend and my sister as I just kind of sat in my armchair dumbfounded, in shock and getting my head around everything that's actually been happening to me all my life and over the past few months and weeks.

I had never connected with my spirit guides before, heck. I didn't even really know anything about spirit guides whatsoever from what I did know I didn't really fully believe in them at all, and until the past month or so even when I've called upon them whilst doing tarot and 'seeing' 20% was still like am I actually riddiculas right now?

the other night (didn't write on here everything else that happened) but anyways the same evening it gets to 3am my sister having talked to her like a mad woman on the phone, told me to take a break from it all, so I laid on the sofa deep into YouTube videos about just meditation and happy stuff for the next hour or three. I was relaxed and then at 3am I heard a rapid flushing im like wtfff?! Turns out my toddlers old potty was going off and on rapidly in his room, it lights up and makes a loud flushing sound when you flush, it was so loud flushing over and over as soon as I got it down from the wardrobe it stopped.

I brought it downstairs it was working normally baring in mind this potty hadn't made a noise by itself ever, and has remained ontop of the wardrobe for the past year. This happened a few hours after of me trying to connect to my spirit guides and getting intense cold going through me a few times and precise answers with the tarot deck during these hours. My dog also started acting very alert and began staring and following things around the room eyes and nose twitching, and ears going up and down, it was very weird, she definitely sensed something there was no doubt, she doesnt normally act that way and she's done this a few times now throughout the past week or two.

Me texting and calling my toddlers father at literally 3 in the flaming morning just incase something had happened with Ethan because it happened in his room with him away (he's absolutely fine sat here rn eating a yoghurt haha) I was worried something had happened and needed to check.

I see now I think it was their way of being like hello, we are here! You aren't turning into a crazy lady, stop doubting what you've literally just experienced!! (because despite all this I'm still like going back and fourth in my head over everything, just not making sense of it all)

Anyways,

I decided to properly connect the next day because there is no doubt in my mind now there are spirit guides 100% I'm asking questions and asking them to shoot out specific cards if the answer is yes, every single question the specific card eirher flung itself out of the deck with force or shot straight up. One after another, after another, after another to a point I was like right I'm definitely connecting with them it was undeniable. The specific card so I would ask for a cup card, wand card, pentacle card, sword card, moon card etcetera and each question I made it a different card. Each time every card shot up or flipped out with so much force it was undeniable, during this I got that intense cold energy feeling through me again, not a little shiver I'm talking intense cold that I've never experienced in my life, kind of like energy passing through me it's an undeniable feeling I can't possibly explain to someone who hasn't experienced it. As I'm doing this im asking different questions. I will write up these answers at some point on here, but some of the answers really surprised me though.

When it was undeniable to me of their existence I asked, have you been here all my life and I've just not realised it? And to shoot a sword card up if that's a yes. The ace of swords flipped up with force (the card has a massive giant swor) This happened over and over and over, every single card I asked for shot up or flung out I also on some questions asked for confirmation and they confirmed each and every one. I ended up bursting out crying at that answer, because I think all this just shocked me to my literal core quite honestly.

I got quite a few answers that I didn't expect and honestly this all really heckin shook me up the past day or so!

I actually felt really super shaky yesterday with everything that had happened processing it all, and met my sister for coffee, but honestly I felt so shaken up and weird I can't even explain, because to me really, this flips everything that I've thought about this kind of stuff from my religious upbringing (jehovas witness, im not anymore) my own beliefs, scepticism, view on the world and people completely upside down. The most important thing though? They told me that they only have my best intentions, and come from a place of love, multiple times. At one point they said I couldn't ask anymore questions right now, and that was fine as honestly it was just an overload of information that I needed to get to grips with tbh.

But yes I honestly don't care whatsoever if people don't believe it. It happened. I experienced it. There isn't a single part of me that doubts it anymore and tbh as open as I am, and despite having I suppose extra senses from being young, I'm still sceptical by nature, and stubborn. Like I was saying to my friend things need to smash me in my face to believe something fully, and later on after that conversation that's when the potty started turning itself on and on over and over again at 3am lmao.

So there we go, I am 100% fully intending to keep developing my abilities and do not have a single doubt anymore whatsoever that there are spirits, we have spirit guides (multiple) like nothing is ever going to sway that again.

[catrasredemption-moved]

Fanfic Etiquette Sunday

Oh man okay, let's rock and roll y'all.

So my friend got... well, this ask, and answered it honestly.

tl;dr the question: Just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in a public forum tl;dr the answer: lol that's not how this works tl;dr the replies: Your viewpoint is toxic and you need a thicker skin and to grow up and just accept it, you're driving readers away

Okay. Okay. Let's start with

"just say you don't want unsolicited criticism, you're asking for it if you post in an open forum"-

No, posting in an open forum does not automatically mean I want criticism. This isn't a Creative Writing class, it's the Internet, where we share things with each other because we want to, not because we have to. Do you also criticize every meme? Every cute animal pictures? Do I need to start putting a disclaimer on my shitposts that I don't want feedback on whether or not they're cracky enough?

Fanfiction. Is. A. Hobby. People aren't out here sharing their work for free just to hear about all the ways you don't like it. If I think something I've written needs criticism, I'm going to ask the people close to me, who I trust to be honest with their opinions, how I can fix it. I am not going to trust randomusername69420 who thinks I've written the entire story wrong and presents their own version of it and says I should write that instead. And yes, I've gotten that before. I've had readers "challenge" me to write something I have no interest in. News flash, y'all aren't my writing teachers. I'm here to write, not to be graded on my work.

If you're someone who likes unsolicited crit? Cool, go crazy, you do you, boo. But I promise there are more creators out there who don't want it than those who do. Especially first time writers who are still trying to find their style. It's demoralizing. Which leads into the next point:

"You need a thicker skin"

I personally am made of stone. I actively participated in the Tumblr Superwholock saga. I've been to k**l myself for daring to enjoy something someone else doesn't. There's (almost) nothing you can say that would actively piss me off or offend me.

However. Being made of stone doesn't mean I can't recognize and acknowledge when someone is being rude. And you know what? It's valid for people to be upset when they work hard on something only to hear: "Well, here are eight things you could have done better."

I've been told before that I've "missed opportunities" in my stories. To me, that's vaguely annoying at best. I wrote the story I wanted to write. There's no such thing as "missed opportunities" - that's an idea you can take and write it.

But a new writer hearing something like that? It could be absolutely devastating. Here are they are trying to share something the world, only to be told they could have done it better. That can absolutely kill creativity. Which leads into the next point...

you're driving readers away

And you're driving writers away. I know people who just straight up abandoned their stories because of unsolicited criticism. They don't want it, they didn't need it, and they shouldn't have to say "Hey maybe don't crap all over this thing I've spent days or weeks working on."

Imagine if you spent all day cooking a big family meal, and when everyone tried it all they said was, "Well the chicken was dry, the potatoes weren't mashed enough, the green beans were kind of limp and soggy." Did you ask for that criticism by presenting your meal to an open forum (the family table)? Should you have said, "Hey maybe be nice and don't insult every little thing you see wrong with this"? You're not a professional chef, you already know that, and so does your family. Are you going to cook for them again knowing that's their attitude toward you? Personally, I wouldn't. They can make their own damn meals if they're so good at it. I'll just keep cooking for me.

And finally...

"Your viewpoint is toxic."

No, it's setting boundaries. It's saying, "I put a lot of energy into this thing I've written (or maybe I wrote it in five minutes, who knows), and I kind of just want people to be nice to me because validation is cool." And validation is cool! Everybody needs it. Everybody thrives on it. There's nothing wrong with that. Imagine going through your entire life without anyone ever saying one good thing about you, just pointing out all the things you did wrong. Your chicken is too dry, your parallel parking is a bit crooked, your line art is shaky, you missed a spot when you were cleaning the kitchen counter, you missed an opportunity while writing your story. That's exhausting. Nobody wants to live like that. Maybe instead of assuming criticism is the default response, you should look at the person and go "I don't know their life, maybe they just need some kindness."

And if you really don't like something someone's written? Go write it yourself. Fanfiction is a free market, there's absolutely nothing stopping you from writing and sharing your own stories. You're not helping anything by offering criticism to someone who doesn't want it and could potentially be put off by it.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary135

1/27-28/2024

saturday - sunday

the move will go crazyyy tomorrow.

today was already sort of crazy i guess. before i get to that just some sundry things, the problem song is really close to working i think, i just need to change the bass, that's rreally it and i think i have an idea for what to do, so i'm gonna do that. while ableton loads, what else, oh yeah, i really need to make 1 minute and like 15 seconds of music for the trailer still, for that movie. deadline coming, hopefully tomorrow we'll be moved in basically, and maybe i can just do it then and there. it'll be weird sleeping in a new place. honestly kind of scared.

the new place is bigger, but it's also made worse than the place we're staying. i think whoever got this building now believes people here pay too little and is kicking everyone out to do renovations and to then raise rent or something. this building is so solidly made, you can't really hear anyone through the walls, but there is no one to really hear anymore i guess. the sink in the kitchen is so nice, the space is kind of perfect to me idk, the new place has stuff that just seems like it could fall apart on us, like the a.c. unit is this window thingy i think. it's probably okay. it's really not as big an issue to me as like, the sink, the bathroom is tiny and has no medicine cabinet, but whatever i have a place to live. i'll also have to navigate to my job from there, if they really do call me back/add me to the roster or whatever, and stuff. i filled everything out for onboarding, probably next week i'd guess.

my gf's mom showed up today, and helped us move, her brother came too and he's so injured generally that he did nothing but stand around and smoke and unpack some stuff. he wasn't useless but he kind of wasn't super helpful. next time he might be more helpful i guess because he'll just be driving so we can load more junk. i value all our stuff but it also does feel kind of like junk right now. like, it frustrates me i guess, i wish it could be instant, instead of car rides with her mom who is falling off the wagon again because my gf's brother got dumped and is going to live with her again. i am somewhat certain their relationship is going to get so destructive again that he is going to come crash at our place for a while.

he made her yell at him, or really all of us, or just everyone in her life vaguely, not even in the car, today. he was so unhappy about moving back, he was masking it decently, but he said about the new place and my apparent disappointment (because i am allowed to not be happy about moving because it was never our choice, her mother seems to think different, she's almost offended that i don't like the place a ton (it's just not the place i've lived in for like 2-ish years now)), that things could be worse, and he started talking about his mom's house, and having lived there, it is pretty bad and gross, she went on a rant about how no one does anything, more than a rant, accusatory and loud, vague as well, no one helped her, she's given up, she does all she can, don't fucking talk about this, don't fucking talk to me, etc. it was unpleasant and it at least wasn't directed straight at me or my gf so it didn't spike anxiety in that way but the language generally reads as her being on the outs with everyone in her life. her husband is talking about quitting his job, taking her to florida. currently, all of her family has distant thoughts of florida, her brother's plan is to go there too, with his friend who is offering to take him there. i don't know if that will materialize, and i don't think her mom's husband will quit and go to florida. but maybe. to keep her to himself, even though he's cheated multiple times and whatever.

my gf says i worry about her family too much but it seems acceptable when they're in her life so much and act destructively and irresponsibly, her stepfather is a gambler, alcoholic, cheater, whatever. he threatened to call the cops on me once, her brother is insane and has groped me and attacked his mother and done plenty else, her mother has terrorized my gf for most of her life and the periods of her being kind to her are the rare bright spots in their relationship. they are also the only 'family' i regularly see because my stepdad is so covid paranoid and my mom is so depressed and trapped with my stepdad that she just does not really want to hang out or anything and i don't blame her but it's miserable. there's not a lot to text about. she doesn't even know how i am, these days, as in, being an androgyne or whatever, i have not come out or whatever it is i'm supposed to do re: my identity/failure to have one. her family doesn't care and as far as they are concerned i guess i'm just a weird boy to them. lately that has been kind of bothering me but there's no way to correct it, at least with her mother, she wouldn't understand.

thinking about it now, i even miss my stepdad. there's a lot of frustrating stuff about him, he is basically very bad to my mom in that he's controlling/paranoid, when i lived there, during covid, he basically (i feel like) took financial advantage of me and used guilting tacticvs to get me to give him basically all of my unemployment money, which i could have done something with, like saved in some way, idk, that was a huge amount of money i feel like even now he stole, i was only able to escape because of my tax return. he's taken advantage of my mom and i many times but he is also not entirely evil. i know he's why i basically am so attuned to/worried by ways my gf's mom behaves, with howe she yells at people about them 'not helping' even if they haven't, it's something nested inside about a kind of entitlement to others and stuff, and being a better person than everyone else, that is really venomous, it's in my stepdad too, but i just wish i guess we talked or something. he raised me, whether or not i like it. i am also worried about him 'accepting me' or whatever. my mom i think would but i guess she might be upset i'm partially a daughter now. or that i always was a kind of daughter. but idk how to make sense of that entirely. how does one even come out . it feels like the biggest block in my relationship to her, i can't say, oh i went to the club and did x, it feels like a level of hiding is there becuz there is a hiding there.

i know my dad, my real dad, would disown me, but maybe he has, idk, i have not spoken to him in a long time, over a year now. he is still a crypto obsessed libertarian reactionary who hates the liberal communists grooming american children, i think.

he used to just think about aliens a lot.

a lot of the people you have no choice to be around in life kind of round out to being a little horrifying. everyone is horrifying.

anyway, tomorrow we're going to try and move a lot of furniture. i'm not really excited for taking apart the bedframe. that was so awful to put together it made me wanna die.

the song is getting closer, i think what i need to do is roll off some high transients or something on the bass tomorrow, or up to the mids even, idk. it's hard but basically i can't have it interacting with the guitars in an ugly and weird way.

anyway i need to sleep now, it's 1 am. so,

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!