#((which was lovely bc everyone back home kept saying 'knitted' and it was getting under my skin a little))

[dimorphodon-defect]

((I'm back from my nap to report that ADVENTURE WAS INDEED FOUND TODAY!!!))

[thebadgerclan]

Grief

Pairing: Aleksander Morozova x reader

Requested by @mrs-brekker15

Summary: Through your grief, Aleksander will be there...

A/N: Moved this up a bit on my list bc I wanted to get this to you sooner and I also wanted to write it sooner.  I’m so sorry for your loss, stay strong 💙🦌

Babushka is the Russian term for grandmother

The letter was written in your mother’s handwriting, her usually tidy letters shaky, the ink smeared from tears, both yours and hers.  Y/N, We’ve just received word that your grandmother passed away last night.  It was peaceful, she felt no pain.  We’re already planning her funeral, she will be buried following Grisha traditions.  We love you, -Mama.  Tears blurred your vision and you clutched the paper to your chest, shoulders shaking.

Your feet carried you out of your rooms, through the corridors and toward the War Room, toward the only person who could console you in your grief.  You and your grandmother were very close, her having played a huge part in your upbringing and childhood.  When you were found out to be Grisha, fearful of leaving home, she was the first at your side, comforting you, telling you stories of the Little Palace.  She’d written every week, telling you what was going on at home, her letters always bringing a smile to your face.  And when you’d married Aleksander, she was the first one to embrace you and your husband, welcoming him to the family.

The oprichniki outside the War Room let you enter without question, and you shouldered the heavy door open.  Inside, Aleksander wasn’t listening to a word his councilmen were saying, focus on the dust floating in the sunbeams.  But when you entered, tears streaking your face, he straightened in his seat, attention completely on you.  You hesitated in the doorway, brows knit together, sniffling softly.  Something was clearly wrong, something had upset you, and Aleksander held up his hand, silencing the councilmen.

“Everyone out,” he said, low voice conveying the urgency of the situation.  “But sir,” one councilman protested.  “We have yet to-”  “I said everyone out.”  Shadows pooled in the corners of the room, and everyone scattered, chairs scrapping and papers fluttering as the council hurried out.  “Shall I wait outside, moi sovernnyi?” Ivan asked, and your husband nodded.  When the heartrender had shut the door behind him, Aleksander pushed his chair back, rising to his feet.

“What’s the matter, darling?” he asked, striding towards you, concern on his face.  “What has happened, are you hurt?”  You met him halfway, nearly collapsing into his arms, sobs tearing free. “Y/N, what’s wrong?  You’re worrying me, lapushka.”  You handed him your mother’s letter, hands shaking, the parchment wrinkled.  Aleksander read it, understanding and sorrow washing over him.  “Oh Y/N, darling, I’m so sorry.  I’m so, so sorry, love.”

Something in Aleksander’s recognition of your grandmother’s death broke the feeble dam holding your emotions in check, and you shattered.  Your legs gave out as you wailed, cursing the Saints for taking your beloved babushka from you.  Aleksander caught you, lowering you to the ground, pulling you into his arms once he was sitting as well.  “I know, I know,” he said, holding you tight against his chest.  “Let it out, my love, I’ve got you.  Let it out.”  With your face pressed into your husband’s chest, you cried, your tears soaking the thick material of his kefta, your hands clutching his lapels.

Aleksander’s heart broke for you, knowing that you were hurting and there was nothing he could do.  No, he told himself.  You can be here for her.  Hold her, dry her tears, comfort her.  And he hoped that would be enough.  He sat on the hard floor of the War Room for 40 minutes, no care for his own comfort, rocking you gently side to side.  And after a while, you calmed a bit, sobs reduced to weak cries, though tears still fell.  “My love, do you want to move to the bedroom?  Make you more comfortable?”

Weakly, you nodded, and Aleksander arranged you into a bridal carry, rising from the floor with you in his arms.  You kept your face buried in his chest as Aleksander opened the door, shutting it with his hip behind him.  “I will be unavailable for the rest of today and all of tomorrow.”  Ivan nodded.  “And beyond that, sir?”  “We’ll see.”  Ivan bowed, turning on his heel, and Aleksander carried you back to your shared bedroom.

He shut the door softly behind him, moving to set you down gently on the plush bed.  Aleksander entered the en suite bathroom, emerging a few minutes later with a variety of items.  He held up one of your nightgowns, draping it on the mattress.  “Let’s get you changed, darling.”  You nodded, letting Aleksander remove your clothes and pull the nightgown over your head.  The fabric was cool against your skin, and you wiped tears from your face.  Aleksander sat next to you, a damp cloth in hand.

Your face was hot and blotchy, overheated from your crying.  But your husband ran the cloth over your face, cleaning dried tears and cooling your skin.  He then brushed and braided your hair, his touch an immense comfort to you.  “Can you drink some water, love?” he asked, pouring a tall glass.  “I don’t want you to dehydrate.”  Again, you nodded, taking the offered glass and bringing it to your lips.

While you drained the glass, Aleksander changed himself, swapping his kefta for a pair of black pajama pants, slipping back into bed at your side.  You curled back into his arms as soon as you’d set your glass down, making yourself as small as possible in his embrace, face buried in his chest, Aleksander’s arms wrapped firmly around your middle.  One hand stroked your back, the other carded through your hair, his lips pressed to your temple.

“I can’t believe she’s gone,” you said, the first words you’d spoken, voice hoarse from crying.  “I saw her only a month ago.”  Aleksander hummed, the rumbling of his voice in his chest soothing to you.  “I know, my beloved, I know.  She was an incredible woman.”  You nuzzled closer to Aleksander, clinging to him as if your life depended on it.  “She has returned to the making at the heart of the world, my love.  She is at peace.”

Aleksander held you for hours, listening to stories about your grandmother, wiping your tears away when they came, wishing he could take your pain and bear it for you.  He called for a dinner tray for you, which you picked at, but Aleksander didn’t push.  And when your eyes drooped, your husband laid back in bed, draping the room in shadow.  You snuggled sleepily into his chest, humming softly.  “I love you, my Y/N,” Aleksander whispered, kissing your forehead.  “I have you.  Sleep, my love.”  “I love you too,” you mumbled, sleep dragging you under.  Through your grief, Aleksander would be there for you, for every moment.

[i-will-be-forever-yours]

Cuts Run Deep

A/N: This one is pretty close to my heart. I have struggled with cutting and anxiety and depression for a while now. Some days it get’s to be too much, and that’s okay. However, I want to tell any of you who are struggling with depression or anxiety, you are not alone. Don't discredit yourself, for you are SO special. If you ever need someone to talk to, don’t hesitate. I won’t judge you at all bc the truth is that this needs to be talked about more. We, as a society, need to normalize the need for help in the battle of mental illnesses. I’m here for you, as a person who has struggled themselves. It may seem like you are drowning, but there is a way out of this. I love you all. Thanks for reading.

Warnings: Couple curse words, talk of cutting and self harm and suicide. PLEASE don't read if this makes you uncomfortable. (TRIGGER WARNING)

Summary: Shawn and Y/n are so in love, but words can hurt and cuts run deep. Can Shawn bring her back and show how much he loves her???

Word Count: 2.5k

my masterlist

posted 4-4-20

not my gif

Shawn was in the studio this morning so Y/n thought she’d clean the house a bit. She had just gotten back from an overseas trip and was at home resting from all the lights and cameras. She was used to the photos being taken of her and the articles being written about her since she already had a name for herself in Hollywood, being an up and coming actress. That’s not to say that some of the articles about her didn’t sting, but she never thought she’d be so spitefully talked about when she started dating Shawn. The media truly had a field day at her expense, but she never told Shawn how she truly felt, wanting to spare his feelings because she knew how hurt he’d be if he found out what people were saying about her. Of course, he knew about the articles and tabloids, but he didn’t know of the snide comments she got from her coworkers or fans as she walked down the street. He didn’t understand how hurt she was, and she wanted to keep it that way. She couldn’t bear to unload her baggage on him, when he had so much he dealt with on a daily basis.

They met just under two years ago. It was pretty cliche, but to them it was truly was love at first sight. Rain was pouring down on the streets outside as Y/n ran to a small coffee shop to try and avoid the brewing storm. However, just as she was reaching for the door handle, she made contact with another hand. Pulling her hand back in surprise she looked up at this man. He had the warmest smile and the most beautiful eyes.

“I- uh,” she coughed, trying to clear her throat before continuing, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t see you there.”

Eyes shining bright, he said,chucking, “Well that makes two of us.” Holding the door open for her he followed her in. Once inside the safety of the cafe he introduced himself saying, “Hi, I’m Shawn,” while stretching out his hand to shake.

Looking at his outstretched hand and then back into his brown eyes she replied, “I know who you are. I’m a big fan of your music.” Slightly embarrassed, she took his hand and gave it a light shake before continuing. “My name is Y/n. Uh- Y/n Y/L/n.”

“No way! As in Y/n L/n the actress? I’ve seen a couple of your movies. You are so talented, especially in that murder thriller,” he gushed with flushed cheeks and a big smile adorning his face.

After ordering they sat down together and talked for over an hour, but it felt like a couple of seconds. Time flew by and next thing they knew they were exchanging numbers with the promise to meet up again. Now, almost two years later, they are living together and Shawn plans on proposing to her on their second anniversary. He has it all thought out, they are going to a romantic picnic and then going back to the coffee shop where they met. It will be there where he’ll drop to one knee and ask the question that’s been plaguing his thoughts for the past weeks.

However he is currently at the studio, as he’s been extremely busy finishing writing a song for her. It’s taken a toll on his stress, but he knows it’ll be worth it. He is really proud of the turnout and is ready to call it a day, after he finishes the last couple chords, to finally go cuddle with Y/n back home.

- At their shared home -

Y/n was content with the amount of cleaning she had done and decided to kick back and relax. She threw on one of Shawn’s shirts and sat in front of their large flatscreen in the living room. Lost in her thoughts after catching sight of the photo next to the tv. It was a picture of the two of them, looking at each other. They were completely smitten, and everyone knew it. Sure they had their disagreements, but so does every couple. Their love for each other was strong enough to know that they would always be there for each other. Even after the worst fights, in the end, they knew they’d be alright.

She was brought back when her twitter app notified her name being tagged in a tweet that was getting a lot of feedback. Opening up her phone she saw a hashtag trending that stated “#Mendes dump L/n”. She usually ignores things like this that pops up on her feed, but something prompts her to open it, and she later wishes she hadn’t.

It was just another thing that belittled Y/n and made her feel more insecure. It’s not the actual tweet which bothered her, but it was the comments from all the fans. So many people were jumping in and saying how ugly she was, or how she doesn’t deserve Shawn. She always grew up feeling like that. Never knowing if people were using her or whether people truly liked her or not. Since a very young age, she struggled with anxiety and inner demons. Her parents thought she made it up and constantly ignored her begging for medication to help her not feel like that anymore. She wanted something to calm her racing heart and needed relief from the anxiety that coursed through her veins, but no one heard her pleas. They fell to deaf ears. It got worse in high school when she started isolating herself. She would put up a mask to hide the depression and anxiety. It felt like no one saw who she truly was, but people liked the person she was with the mask. That mask started to become who she was.

It got so bad that she would cut herself. As the tears streamed down her face, she brought the razor to her wrist and would cut line after line into her soft flesh. She watched as the blood pooled out and felt a sense of calm, and now again she thought about it. She thought about the distraction and almost relief she felt from the pain that cutting brought. It felt like her problems left as the blood pooled out with the dark red. She wanted that relief again.

Getting up from the couch and going into the bathroom where she kept a razor, while in the back of her mind she told herself she was foolish for believing the lies that the people spewed, she held it with trembling hands. Then she remembered Shawn. The handsome man she’d fallen for, with a broad smile and the most generous heart. Then, remembering how he’d been spending more and more time at the studio. Maybe they were right and perhaps he needed someone more stable and beautiful by his side. Someone who could be confident with themselves, despite the dirt and shit people threw at her. Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes. So used to the emptiness, it felt like second nature to be in this position. It didn’t stop her from questioning her decision, but she knew she wanted the best for Shawn. Maybe, just maybe if she killed herself Shawn could find someone who made him happy, she thought.

Stripping out of her clothes and stepping into the shower with the razor in her hand, she let her tears mix with the pounding water. The water was burning her skin, but she didn’t even feel as it left her skin raw and burning. All Y/n felt at that moment was the emotional toll that years of scrutiny had left her. Her mind was cloudy and dazed and she held the sharp point to her wrist. Applying a little pressure, she winced when she dragged it across her skin. Blood almost immediately started to run out of the cut. Years of cutting left her with the knowledge of how deep to cut without leaving scars. Not starting off too deep was her plan, because she knew she had to build up to it. She cut again and again and watched as the blood escaped her tiny cuts. The cuts were light but her wounds ran deep. The pain was not external but was a raging storm within. It clouded her judgment and thoughts, to the point where she couldn’t feel anything but pain.

Her physical pain didn’t even phase her. She could only focus on the blood as it mixed with the water on the shower tile on the floor. Ragged, short breaths left her as Y/n thought about all the comments from the media and people. Falling back against the shower wall she clutched her wrist to her chest. She wanted it to end, the assault of the hateful words trashing in her head like a raging beast. Her thoughts were so overwhelming in her head that she didn’t hear Shawn calling her name.

- Shawn’s side-

Walking in the door, Shawn tosses his keys into the bowl by the entryway. Looking around he breathes out a deep sigh, letting out his stress. He was ready for this, ready to take the next step with the love of his life. So, as he made his way further into their shared home he wasn't even fazed when he heard the shower running. It brings about a sense of domesticity for him. However, his brows knit together when he hears cries coming from inside the bathroom. Calling out Y/n’s name with no response causes his heart rate to start picking up. Rushing in, he flings the door of the ensuite bathroom open and sees a sight that makes his heart break. There was Y/n, the love of his life, was sitting with her head down and her hands clutched to her chest. Moving closer, his heart pounds and his vision begins to spin at the sight red dripping down her left forearm.

Pulling open the shower door he stands dumbfounded as Y/n quickly looks up at him, with bloodshot eyes and a broken expression on her face. It wasn’t even her appearance that made his heart come to a crashing stop. No, it isn’t how her breath hitches in her throat or even the way she sits there on the floor of the shower looking up at him. It is what he sees in her hand, what he sees running down her arms. In those couple seconds, he realizes he needs to help her. So, grabbing the hand towel on the hook, he wraps it around her damaged wrists, careful to not cause too much pain in his attempt to catch the rapidly decreasing blood flow. Silence overtakes them as he dresses and tends to her arm. It’s a couple minutes before Shawn has the courage to speak up.

“I- uh, Love… Why did you do this?” he questions in a weak voice, once safely of the shower.

She doesn’t say anything, but instead falls into his body and cries. Wrapping another towel around her soaked frame, he wraps his arms around her to bring her closer. No words are spoken as he guides them to the bedroom and he holds her in his strong arms against his chest.

Y/n had her head against his chest, and something about the steady beat of his heart calms her. Just him being there calms the storm that rages war in her head. Her breathing has slowed and she feels better. Shawn looks down and sees she is now more relaxed. No longer are there tears or fear, but it has since been replaced with a look of emptiness.

With much trepidation, he speaks up saying, “Honey, tell me why. What made you do this? You know I love you so much. I-if I found y-you dead… I don’t know what I would do. You are the best thing to happen to me Y/n Y/l/n. Don’t forget that.”

Y/n looks at him, hearing the vulnerability in his voice. She nods into his chest and takes a few calming breaths before replying, “I just read a- some tweets that- um- that said you should break up with me. And I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t read things like that. But something about it reminded me of what I’ve been told my whole life. I don’t know, I guess I started to believe them. I mean with you at the studio a lot lately.” She started to ramble, “and that’s fine! I am not trying to be clingy. I was just thinking maybe there is a better person-”

“Stop. No, don’t say that love. You are the only right person for me. I knew that when I met you in the coffee shop that day. I’ve loved you since then. Okay? Don’t listen to their lies. If they cannot see that you are so loved, then that’s on them. You are so amazing and beautiful, and I love you so much. There is no one that I would rather be with. Okay- uh so, I had a whole big plan for this but I cannot wait any longer. I need you to understand how much I love you.” he stated before getting up and moving to their shared closet. She hears him rummaging around before she sees him coming out again.

“Y/n Y/l/n, you are so special to me. Your smile brightens my day and leads me back home in the craziest storms. There’s not a moment when you aren’t on my mind, and I want to marry you-”

“Shawn what-” she gasped in shock, quickly sitting up and moving to the edge of the bed, with the towel still wrapped around her soaked frame.

Bending on one knee, he grabs her left hand, conscientious of the bandaging, and in a voice thick with emotion he asks, “Y/n Y/l/n, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”

“I- I, yes! I love you,” she cries. However, her tears are for a completely different reason. He stands up and places the ring on her finger and kisses her. The kiss is slow and deep. It’s not like any other kiss they’ve shared, not after coming home from a party turned on, or even the first kiss they shared. No, this kiss is so symbolic, and emotional, and it’s not until they break for air do they come back from that bliss.

Once again laying upon the bed, with Y/n in Shaw's arms he whispers, “Who’d've thought that we’d get engaged with you only in a towel and in our bedroom?” He has a cheeky grin on his face, and she knows what he is implying. She chuckled with him before he continued, “We are going to have proper engagement. You need to act surprised too. All our family will be there and want to see your reaction. For now, how about I take care of that towel. We have a lot to celebrate.”

She looks at him and smiles, ducking her head into his neck. Nodding her head in a silent agreement, she starts to place small kisses onto the underside of his chin. He tightens his grasp on her and flips her so he’s hovering atop her. A smirk plays on his lips as he slowly pulls either side of the towel from around her. Yeah, the night has just begun.

_________

Please reblog and let me know if you liked it or if you hated it. Talk to me, and let me know your ideas for writing. Love you guys!

[metalchickaf19]

The Bowers Gang: Ship #15 - Henry Bowers

Request: hello i would like to request a ship, if you don't mind +_+ i'm not really tall,average build, really long dark hair. i'm fond of formal office wear and in general prefer dark colors and non-revealing clothes, if that makes sense. as a person i try my best to be a good friend though at some times i'm a bit too caring and at others times i care less than i should bc i'm sick or busy af(i easily get sick.). i tend to be anxious and even a bit paranoid bc of some kind of ocd i dunno ( i get all those unnecessary thoughts like "i should leave the bus immediately bc i've got a bad feeling about this dude" and then i should look 10 times to the left and 10 to the right to calm myself somehow ._.) my hobbies is reading (mostly scandinavian detectives), watching films and playing tabletop role-playing games. also i secretly like date sims. in society i try my best to be polite and patient(i'm this person who takes all the shit goin my way to stop conflict from happening), but with my friends i can be more open and even impulsive. that's it. i hope it's not too much and my english is okay.

First and foremost, it’s kind of astonishing that you were even able to befriend The Bowers Gang at all - let alone start hooking up with their leader

Their reputation (+ Hockstetter’s hardcore creeper vibe) kept your paranoia on high alert for a long time - so much so that it was all you could do not to drop the few classes you had with specific members of the group

... And it was that insane, animal fear that would eventually cause the guys to target you later on

Hey - you were walking down the hall one day, saw the guys standing around Belch’s locker, and instantly turned on your heel to avoid them

I can’t help the fact that Patrick saw you do that

And I can’t help the fact that that gave he and the guys reason enough to start messing with you

Wound up resulting in a super adorable relationship with Bowers though, so yay (and genuine yay this time - not yay with a question mark attached to it)

Joins in whenever the guys make fun of your “office wear” proclivity (and they make fun of it often)...

... but secretly kind of likes the fact that you prefer non-revealing clothing

Mostly because he’s a misogynistic bastard who doesn’t want the girls he dates “on display” for everyone else, but still - Bowers is down with the corporate causal aesthetic

Sometimes lets you read to him, which is one of the most endearing thing I’ve ever heard  

Was originally something you only did when Henry got sick (he was in a fever-coma once, and you figured some quality Scandinavian literature couldn’t hurt), but now it happens basically every time he wants to get his mind off of something

... And Bowers wants to get his mind off of something a lot

So it’s not uncommon for people to catch you reading to him while he carves into things with his knife, puts his head in his arms and “sleeps,” etc.

Generally tries to look like he’s not paying attention to the story, even though it’s obvious he’s invested (i.e. glances over at the book for a second when something surprising happens, tends to open his eyes during intense parts when he’s had them closed for a while ...)

Aka: One of the most dangerous people in the city of Derry is becoming a hardcore reading buff, and that’s 100% because of you - congratulations

Makes all the guys check up on you whenever you get sick

... Seriously, it’s so cute - you’ll just be sitting at home, all stuffed up and gross, when suddenly you’ll get a random knock at the door

... at which point you’ll open it to find either Belch, Victor, or Patrick standing there with the rest of the guys waiting in the car behind them

Just let that imagery sink in...

Have you fully appreciated how adorable it is?

Okay, then.

Sometimes you get a Victor Criss care-package complete with aspirin, tissues, and suckers to keep you going (hence why you tend to hope it’s Victor when you hear that knock on your door), but it usually has something Hockstetter-esque added to it in the few instances when Patrick gets to bring it to you

... He once switched out a little book of poems Criss gave you with a pocket-sized copy of the Kama Sutra

Just had that on him for some reason - pocket-sized copy of the Kama Sutra

Regardless though, Henry never comes to the door (even though the guys always show up on his orders) because he’s too macho to show he’s concerned about your well-being even though it’s painfully clear he’s concerned about your well-being

Have fun with that even mix of ice and passionate care

*Somewhat triggering, but kind of lighthearted side-note*

Patrick is the single worst thing that has ever happened for your anxiety issues, and he loves every second of it

Sometimes physically interferes with your compulsions, because he doesn’t want you to be able to calm yourself (holds your face still when you try to turn your head back and forth a certain number of times, will block your exit if you start to feel overwhelmed in a specific setting, etc.)

Also actively triggers a lot of your intrusive thoughts (”You really feel safe right now, princess?” *Ultra-specific Hockstetter smirk created to make you doubt yourself* “Really?”)

Also sits behind you in one of the classes you share together, and constantly does things to fuck with your hair

It’s not really important, I’m just letting you know

Sometimes keeps a lighter under the ends just long enough to create that “singed” smell, twists a few locks around his fingers, etc.

Basically just wants to remind you that he’s there (right behind you) as often as he can, and has always liked your long dark hair, so that’s the route he takes

I’m so sorry for the paranoia in you; truly

*Somewhat triggering, yet kind of lighthearted side-note over*

You, Belch, and Victor are arguably the most tight-knit friends in the gang, and it’s kind of amazing on every level

Ya’ll share 3/6 classes together (without Patrick or Henry), so you really got used to being your authentic selves around one another over time

Nerdy inside jokes, deep talks, genuine “this is me” moments - you guys have it all (and, to be honest, you’d all be super down to arrange a hangout without the other guys if any one of you had the balls to suggest it)

Low-key very similar to The Losers’ Club when it’s just the three of you, but we’ll pretend I never said that

Victor came to one of your table-top gaming sessions once

Only attended the one time (because cold-blooded reputation/genuine lack of skill), but he befriended some of your nice table-top gaming compatriots, so good job being a positive influence

... Alright... now get ready for some pretty legit unpleasantness  

Henry unloads on you often because he knows you’re willing to take it, and sometimes the kid just can’t help himself

You know that scene from the movie where he yelled at Belch to shut up (when he was cutting Ben)?

Yeah - that type of rage-filled Bowers energy has been directed at you in the past

Low-key one of the most unhealthy aspects of your relationship, but you tend to default to radio-silence at the first sign of Henry starting to lose it on you (what with your dislike of conflict and such), so it typically never escalates past one hardcore outburst (like Belch’s “shut up!”)

Never outright apologizes to you for it, but tends to try to get physically close to you after he calms down as an indirect way of saying he’s sorry

I.e. Will sit down next to you without saying anything, will come into a room you’re in and awkwardly walk around without acknowledging you, etc.

Basically just tries to let you know he was wrong with his actions rather than with his words

... And if you want a future with Bowers, you’re gonna’ have to get used to accepting apologies you never got like that

Sorry - it’s just the way his broken brain works

Overall though, a great relationship, and one that works well with the rest of the guys

They all love you, dude - you’ve been accepted. Just feel that

[generallynerdy]

Our Little Secret Part 14/Finale (Merlin & Child!Reader, Mordred X Reader)

Parts 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, and 13

Summary: (Y/N) and Merlin have to come to terms with their little secret being revealed. Everyone else has to adjust to the fact that they’ve been lied to for years by the two people they trusted most.

Key: (Y/N) - your name

Warnings: eMoTiONs, mentions of injuries, mentions of near death, recovery, magic-phobia?, u can’t prove that it’s an author insert fuck u

Word Count: 4,236

Note: is it,,,is it over yet? am i free,,,? extra long final (except the epilogue) part bc i love u

    “This is harder than I thought it would be,” (Y/N) muttered, legs hanging over the edge of the mountain.

    “Really?” Beside her, Merlin snorted. “This isn’t even the worst it could be.”

    She looked over at him with wide eyes. “What’s the worst it could be?”

    “Uther could still be alive.”

    “Touché.”

    The pair rested in silence, watching the sun slowly crawl up the sky. Dawn had come a while ago, but they had yet to leave Camlann. Arthur wanted to scour the battlefield for their men, dead and wounded. They gathered all the dead and were giving them proper funerals or packing up their bodies to take back to family, if they had any. The wounded were taken care of by Gaius, but many of them didn’t survive.

    (Y/N) had not entered the medic tent again, instead spending her time with Merlin and giving Arthur a few hours time before she dared show her face. It killed her to stay away from Mordred, but she felt it was best.

    “I’m sorry for everything,” (Y/N) said suddenly, breaking the silence. “For not talking to you, for not listening to you, either.”

    “No, you were right not to,” Merlin admitted, not looking away from the view in front of them. “I was being ridiculous. I was so worried about Mordred being the druid to kill Arthur that I didn’t consider that my decisions might push him to that.”

    (Y/N)’s eyes widened. “It wasn’t your fault, Merlin. Morgana controlled him.”

    “The only reason he didn’t choose it on his own was because of you,” Merlin said, finally turning to her. “If Arthur had made a decision against magic or someone doing magic, Mordred might have turned. You being here stopped him and I should’ve seen that.”

    “So…” She grinned. “Are you sorry for being a clotpole?”

    Merlin sighed and put an arm around her, drawing her into a hug. “I’m sorry for being a clotpole.”

    It took (Y/N) a while to get the courage to go into the medic tent again. When she did, she saw Leon lingering by Mordred’s cot. Gwen and Arthur were nowhere in sight, nor was Gaius, but he was rather busy as it was.

    She wandered over to the cot, pulling up a chair and sitting on the opposite side that Leon did. She didn’t meet his gaze at first, just taking Mordred’s hand and remaining silent.

    “(Y/N)?” Leon started.

    It took everything in her to ignore him, to look down at her hands and refuse to make eye contact. Though he couldn’t get her complete attention, she was still listening and he knew it.

    “I don’t hate you.”

    (Y/N)’s head shot up against her own intuition. She didn’t speak, eyebrows lowered and searching his face to see if he was lying.

    “I don’t hate you,” he said again, a little louder. “I could never.”

    He’d heard what she said to Gaius about being worried that everyone would hate her. What (Y/N) didn’t understand was how he didn’t hate her.

    “I’ve been lying to you since I’ve known you,” she said. “How are you not upset?”

    Leon sighed. “I’m...upset you didn’t feel like you could trust me with your little secret, but nothing else.”

    “You--” (Y/N) tilted her head. “You don’t think magic is evil?”

    “Druids saved my life, remember?” He smiled fondly. “Since then, I’ve known magic isn’t innately evil. And neither are you. You’re my friend, my sister. The most evil thing you’ve done to me is have Spot wake me up in the morning.”

    (Y/N) laughed shakily, remembering it fondly. She did it a little too often, more than Leon would like, but it was entertaining.

    “The others don’t hate you, either,” Leon said.

    She shook her head. “You don’t know that.”

    “I’m sure of it. If they really love and care about you, then this won’t change anything,” he told her. “It hasn’t for me.”

    “Thank you,” she whispered, moving her hand from Mordred’s to his, making him smile.

    There was a pause before he squeezed her hand and stood, letting go. “I’ll check on the others. Take care of him.”

    “I will,” (Y/N) muttered as he left.

    For a good while, (Y/N) was left alone. She dozed off a few times, trying to get much needed rest. Gaius dropped by and checked on her wounds, which were luckily minor. She never left Mordred’s side, constantly making sure he was alright. It took him a few hours, just as Merlin predicted, before he began to stir.

    “(Y/N)?” He croaked out, opening his eyes slowly.

    She snapped to attention and smiled, holding his hand. When he started to sit up, she stopped him. “Careful, careful. Merlin said you’d be sore.”

    “Ow,” he muttered, but froze. He smiled slightly. “The spell worked.”

    In his moment of awe, (Y/N) leaned forward and took him in her arms. She held him tightly and felt his arms wrap around her lovingly.

    “I was terrified,” she whispered. “I thought I’d lost you.”

    Mordred let her go for just a second, drawing closer to her face and caressing her cheek. “It was you that brought me back,” he muttered. “Seeing you broke the spell.”

    “I love you, too,” she said, echoing some of his dying words. She kissed him softly, hand buried in his messy curls.

    After that, they spoke in hushed tones. (Y/N) updated Mordred on what had happened. They held a brief moment of silence for Morgana, remembering the woman she had once been. She told him about what Leon said to her and he celebrated with her, but then the conversation was drawn to the topic of their magic.

    “They all know about my little secret now, too,” Mordred muttered. “The rumours can’t have passed by them.”

    (Y/N) took his hand. “We’ll be okay.”

    “You really believe that?”

    “We’ve been through so much worse, Mordred,” she said firmly.

    He laughed a little. “Fair enough. I have almost died twice-- and that’s not counting my childhood.”

    They shared a laugh that was interrupted by a dog’s yip. Spot raced in from out of nowhere, trying to jump on Mordred’s bed and smother him. (Y/N) reprimanded him and he soon calmed down, but neither of them knew where he came from.

    Unbeknownst to them, Gwen and Gaius had kept him in the medic tent the whole time, keeping the loyal dog from harm.

    There were many bridges to cross on the way home, but at least they had each other.

    Back in Camelot, rumours flew left and right. The majority of the population was aware of Mordred’s presence in the city and were furious, confused as to why Arthur would harbour an enemy. He planned to speak on his behalf, but he wanted answers from Merlin and (Y/N) first.

    Meanwhile, the animosity, or at least tension, between (Y/N) and the other knights did not go unnoticed. Merlin’s temporary absence from his master’s side was noticed, too, as was Mordred’s stay in the court physician’s quarters rather than his own in the knights’ quarters. The entire tightly knit group of Arthur’s closest friends seemed to be falling apart, for reasons unknown to everyone.

    One day, (Y/N) was summoned to the throne room, though Mordred, Merlin, and Gaius were told to remain behind.

When she arrived there, after nonstop reassurances from the Merlin to the young knight, she found that it was not the council gathered, but instead her friends. Gwen and Arthur sat on their thrones, while the knights stood dutifully about the room. (Y/N) had a distinct feeling that this was not a purely social audience.

Arthur began to question her, as if she was a suspect in a crime. Leon shot her uncomfortable glances, wishing he could make it stop.

“How long has Merlin been teaching you?”

Merlin had already had a long discussion with Arthur, giving him practically his whole life story, from his father, to his mother, to his powers, to the dragon he freed from under Camelot. Arthur knew almost everything about him. Now, it was (Y/N)’s turn.

“Since a few years after I met you, my lord,” she said.

His expression showed no change. “Who knew about your...little secret?”

“Merlin, Gaius, Mordred-- ever since we were little.” She began to list them off, remembering each fondly. She paused, saying the next name too quietly for him to hear.

“Speak up.”

(Y/N) sighed. “Lancelot.”

Leon shot her a sympathetic glance and Gwen looked absolutely decimated by this fact. A few sombered, but the expressions were gone as quickly as they had appeared.

“Morgana knew, too,” (Y/N) muttered.

Arthur lowered his eyebrows. “You told her?”

“No, sire,” she stammered. “She, uh, had me followed and I didn’t realize. It was a while before Ismere-- just after we buried Lancelot.”

Suddenly, Arthur asked a question that left her dumbfounded.

“Have you ever used magic against someone? Or to get what you wanted?” He asked stiffly.

Her jaw dropped as she looked up at him, appalled that he could even ask her such a question. She glanced around at the others, as if asking whether they believed she could be capable of that, but most of them didn’t make eye contact. Elyan just looked away, perhaps ashamed at the question. Gwaine stared right through her, which was arguably more chilling. Percival was the only one to meet her eye. She couldn’t read him, though. (Y/N) didn’t know what he meant, looking at her like that.

“No, sir,” she said firmly, teeth clenched. “The worst I’ve done is defend myself.”

“And the second part?” He questioned further.

She paused. “One thing.” They all looked terrified, but she smiled. “I used my magic to help a little druid boy escape the castle, a long time ago. Morgana, Merlin, and my lady were there. You were, too.”

She spoke bravely and Arthur went silent after that, his eyes darkened with reminiscence. They had saved Mordred long ago, even though he was a druid. (Y/N) was trying to remind her king of this.

“I asked Merlin to take me as an apprentice the day I met him,” she said, taking her turn to give a speech. She was young, but she had so much to say. “I started a few years later and I-- I didn’t realise what I was getting myself into. I didn’t understand the secret I had to keep, the people I had to keep it from. I didn’t understand the consequences. But I did later. And I could’ve easily given up then, but I didn’t. My magic is part of who I am, it has been for a long time. Just because you know about it now doesn’t change me. But I am sorry, deeply sorry, that I’ve hurt you-- all of you.”

As (Y/N) was leaving the throne room, she did not see Leon go to follow her.

“Leon--” Elyan started, grabbing his arm to stop him.

The senior knight turned to him with a frown. He looked at all of them gathered, who were staring at him, waiting for his move. He scoffed a little and pulled away from Elyan’s grip, shaking his head at them.

“I can’t believe you,” he said to them as a friend, rather than a knight. “It’s (Y/N).”

With that said, he was met with silence. He shook his head again and rushed out of the throne room, catching up to (Y/N). He took her arm and they started toward god knows where.

As soon as he left, Percival took a second to think before following him. No one dared stop the giant, nor did they dare even try. He caught up to Leon and (Y/N). They didn’t make him say a thing, simply letting him join them. That was enough of an apology-- and a reassurance.

Later, when (Y/N) returned to check on Mordred, she was accompanied by Percival. Leon had to abandon them earlier for work purposes.

Entering Gaius’ chambers, they found Mordred asleep in his bed, but he was not alone. Sitting in a chair pulled up beside him was Queen Guinevere, who looked up as they walked in. (Y/N) froze up and turned to Percival, but wasn’t sure what to say.

“(Y/N),” Gwen said. “Can we talk?”

“Of course, my lady--” She began.

Gwen interrupted her with a shake of her head. “Just as friends,” she smiled.

Percival cleared his throat and nodded at both of them. “I’ll just--” he started, backing away from the room. “Goodnight.”

(Y/N) closed the door behind him as he left. When she and the queen were left alone, there was silence. The young knight crossed the room to Mordred’s bed, checking on him as he snored lightly. She couldn’t help smiling to herself at his peaceful slumber, but let the smile fall when she noticed Gwen staring.

Trying to avoid conversation, (Y/N) lifted her hand and began a spell, gesturing to the pitcher of water on the table. She stopped instantly when she saw Gwen’s eyes widen, the yellow glow in her own eyes fading.

She started to walk toward the pitcher, but Gwen spoke, stopping her.

“You shouldn’t have to hide it,” she said.

(Y/N) reeled. “What?”

    “You don’t have to hide it now,” Gwen repeated. “Why avoid using it if there’s no consequence anymore?”

    “I--” (Y/N) sighed. “I don’t know if Arthur would like that.”

    The queen smiled. “Well, he’s not here now, is he?”

    She was shaken by the queen’s easy going reply. Unsure, she lifted her hand again. She finished the enchantment this time and the pitcher went flying into her hand, spilling just a little bit of water. Two cups flew over from the table at her command as well and soon she was pouring the liquid into them. (Y/N) passed one to Gwen and kept one for herself, pulling up another chair beside her.

    “Did you know?” (Y/N) asked her suddenly.

    “About your little secret?” Gwen laughed. “No, of course not.”

    The younger one tilted her head. “Then how are you so...unbothered by this?”

    “I just think it explains a lot,” she admitted. “Besides, I’ve suspected Merlin for a long time.”

    “You’re kidding,” (Y/N) gaped.

    “He’s not exactly conspicuous,” Gwen laughed.

    She shrugged with a fond smile. “Well, he’s kept it hidden for this long.”

    “Fair enough.”

    “What made you think he had magic? When were you really sure he was hiding something?” (Y/N) asked out of pure curiosity.

    Gwen sighed. “You were so angry with him after Mordred came back with that spear injury, the one that almost killed him. I didn’t understand until I considered that he might have magic. You were upset because he wouldn’t heal him, weren’t you?”

    “He refused,” (Y/N) confirmed, nodding solemnly. “I stopped talking to him after that.”

    “I don’t blame you. If someone did the same to Arthur…” She trailed off, not even wanting to think about it.

    It was beginning to get dark, so (Y/N) lit a few candles, requiring just a simple spell. Gwen almost awed at it, which made the young knight flustered. No one had ever taken this much of an interest in her magic, not since Lancelot.

    “It really doesn’t bother you?”

    “Absolutely not,” Gwen reassured her. “It explains so much and-- and it sounds silly, but I feel like I know you better now.”

    (Y/N) could not help hugging her friend, burying her head in her shoulder. “Thank you,” she whispered. “It means so much to me.”

    A soft knocking came from the door and both women turned their attention to a short figure entering the room. It was Elyan, who seemed to have been there for a good while. He had heard at least the last part of their conversation, which (Y/N) felt red in the face about. Gwen looked rather pleased with herself, though.

    The queen stood and crossed the room, taking her brother’s wrist and dragging him back over to (Y/N). The young knight stood from her chair to meet them, remaining silently confused by whatever was happening.

    “Tell her,” Gwen said firmly to her brother.

    Elyan took a deep breath. “(Y/N), I--” He glanced at Gwen, who nodded. “I’m sorry I’ve been treating you terribly. To be honest, I was...not happy when I found out about your little secret. Magic killed our father and since then--”

    “I understand,” (Y/N) said quickly.

    “No, wait,” Elyan stammered. “Just because one sorcerer killed my father doesn’t mean every sorcerer will be just as bad and you certainly won’t. I don’t know what came over me. I’m sorry.”

    Before she could say a word, he hugged her tightly, almost cutting off her airflow. She laughed, telling him it was okay and hugging him back. Gwen stared on proudly at her work, as it had taken hours to convince her brother to speak to (Y/N). Though she still could not convince Arthur to work out these things, at least she could get Elyan to do so.

    “I love both of you so much,” (Y/N) said softly, dragging Gwen into the hug. “You’re like the siblings I never had.”

    As Arthur had yet to speak about the rumours going around that (Y/N) and Merlin were sorcerers, the former was loathe to go outside. However, when she heard that Gwaine had left the castle and run off without any sign of where he went, she knew she had to do something. She had a feeling she knew where he was-- and a feeling that he was waiting for her.

    She found him in the clearing outside the city, just where she thought he would be. It was here the old Lancelot had been put the rest, because it was such a perfect place for him. It was here Gwaine had trained (Y/N), because she thought Lancelot being there would help her. It was here Morgana had discovered her little secret.

    “Gwaine?” (Y/N) asked quietly.

    He was standing above the stone, holding the hilt of his sword so firmly that it looked as if it might shatter like glass. “I knew I could never replace him,” he said without turning around. “I knew I could never be as perfect as he was. I knew I couldn’t be him.”

    “Gwaine--” She tried to say.

    “But to not tell me about this?” His voice betrayed him as he turned, eyes wet with tears. “To know that I was nothing compared to Gaius, to Merlin, to Lancelot, to Mordred? To find out I was nothing in your heart? Why, (Y/N)?”

    “I couldn’t tell you,” she sobbed. Her heart was already broken at his words. “I wanted to-- I planned to after Ismere, but-- but--”

    She took a deep breath, trying to shove away the memories. She didn’t want to remember Ismere, much less what Morgana had done to her there. However, she needed to tell Gwaine what had kept her from telling him everything. He had to know that he was just as important to her as the others, that she meant so much to him that she would rather have died than have him hate her for this.

    “Morgana found out about my magic, like I said. But she knew I had to be taught by someone. She used you-- you and Percival against me,” (Y/N) said, shuddering as she did. “To find out who taught me. She needed to know who Emrys was, the one destined to destroy her-- that was Merlin. I almost told her. I would have told her, given time. After we got out, I knew I couldn’t tell any of you. If you knew about Merlin, who he was to Morgana, then she could have tortured you, pulled it from you and I-- I would’ve been to blame.”

    “I wouldn’t have told her,” Gwaine hissed. “Do you trust me so little?”

    (Y/N) leapt at him and wrapped him in her embrace. “I know you wouldn’t have. I just didn’t want her to have any reason to torture you like she did with me. I didn’t want you to get hurt.” She kissed his cheek, still shaking. “You mean so much to me. You’re not New Lancelot-- you haven’t been for a long time. You’re Gwaine.”

    Arthur was the last one left.

Everyone else had approached, apologised, and asked more about (Y/N) and Merlin’s magic. In fact, many of them were rather curious about the whole thing. They were amazed by the range of bullshit the two could get up to with the assistance of their magic alone.

Meanwhile, the king refused to talk to either of them. He had shut himself off from the world, from everyone, even Gwen. She was scared for him and begged (Y/N) to step in. Perhaps she could appear unthreatening to him, unlike Merlin. Perhaps she could get through to the man.

She caught him alone in the throne room one morning, a place where he was cornered. He sat upon his throne and watched her with curious eyes. Then, he stood, leaning over the back of the chair and sighing.

“Why didn’t you ever tell me?” He asked.

“I wanted to more than anything,” she said in almost a whisper. “But I was just a child. I was so scared. I was terrified of Uther, of Agravaine, of someone discovering me and-- and what you might do if you found out.”

She noticed his face flash in betrayal and sadness for a second, but it disappeared in an instant.

“I didn’t want you to have to decide between saving me or following the law. It wasn’t fair,” she muttered. “And I didn’t want--”

She stopped.

“Didn’t want what? To die?” He laughed coldly. “Can’t blame you there.”

“Every day of my life was a risk. I could’ve died any day, but I didn’t want to die at your hand.” She took a deep breath. “But more than anything, I-- Arthur, you have every reason to hate magic. You have every reason to hate it for what it’s done to you, for what people have done to you using it.”

It was true, every word that she spoke. Magic had killed Arthur’s family; corrupted them, tortured them. Arthur had every reason to despise magic and neither Merlin nor (Y/N) could deny that.

“I was terrified that hate would translate to me,” she admitted.

His eyes softened and he looked upon her with wonder. “You thought I would hate you? Why?”

“Because--” She scoffed. “Because I chose to practice something that had done such harm to you, to all of us. I just didn’t want you to hate me and-- and I still don’t.”

Suddenly, the king crossed the room. He paused, standing there in front of her. That little girl who had stood up to him about punishing Merlin unjustly was gone. She was a woman now, a powerful sorceress that Arthur owed for a great many things. Part of him was still upset, both at her and himself for the fact that she hadn’t told him, that she felt she couldn’t trust him enough to tell him about her magic. But the other part held nothing but love for her.

It was this part of him that took over when he hugged her, shocking her to the point where she froze.

“I don’t hate you,” he whispered. “I’m upset you didn’t tell me and I don’t know how long it will be before we can fully trust each other again, but I don’t-- and I will never-- hate you, (Y/N).”

The young knight sniffed heavily and hugged her king, who was more like her brother at this moment. She took in a deep breath and almost laughed out of relief.

“You’ll talk to Merlin, won’t you? Tell him the same thing?”

“I don’t know. I look at him and I want to punch his teeth out.”

“Call me crazy, Arthur, but that sounds about normal.”

Elsewhere…

A small hut in the woods was practically invisible to those who did not seek it out directly.

Inside this hut, a girl in a dark cloak pulled its hood over her face. She mixed herbs and vials together in a small bowl. It produced a blood red liquid, which she gathered in a tiny bottle, shaking it about. She turned to face a long wooden table that held a great weight on its ancient legs.

A dead man lied upon it, his dark hair and beard ratted. He was dressed in rugged peasants’ clothing, an outfit unfitting for a knight of his standing.

The witch-- ahem, sorceress-- took the bottle carefully and poured it into his mouth, forcing him to swallow it. After a moment of unresponsiveness, the dead man gasped into his lungs his second breath of first life. He looked around wildly, but was tied to the table as a precaution.

Meanwhile, the girl turned and smiled at him. “Alright, you handsome bastard. Up and at ‘em. I didn’t murder a man for nothing. Time to send you back to Camelot before my readers murder me.”

Merlin Tags: @pearlll09

Masterlist

[laryna6]

Once Upon A Time universe where when Mr. Gold obtains Henry for Regina some kind of shenanigans involving his love for Bae makes him instantly fall for the baby despite not being awake - it’s attributed to the curse memories of losing a son.

So he convinces Regina that it’d be easier to do the adoption if she had a husband, and she’s amused by the thought of Rumple in her power, so they get non-romantically fake married. And Rumple spins the yarn to make baby blankets and clothes and all kind of things for Henry, and Regina is just vastly amused by how Rumple is goo and willing to do anything for the baby and also pretty grateful to have someone to sit up with the baby in the middle of the night and also cook breakfast. She gets to have power over Rumple and that makes her accept him as part of this family.

She does keep poking at him, asking about his curse memories to check that his real ones haven’t come back, and an incident involving putting the moves on him to see if that was part of his motivation for this family thing leads to her eventually figuring out that his ex-wife was abusive, although she’d not quite sure if this is a fabrication of the curse to make him miserable or some curse version of Cora? Mr. Gold also tells her about losing his son and blaming himself, which she figures is why Henry gives her such a handle on him.

When Henry gets the book, he’s able to figure out that Papa is Rumple because of the spinning - he gets new sweaters every year. It’s impossible to see him as evil though. When Regina sends him to therapy she also sends her husband, telling herself it’s because it’s hilarious to think of proud Rumple spilling his deepest darkest secrets to some bug.

When Henry brings Emma, Mr. Gold has a conversation with Regina begging her to let Emma stay, because Henry wanted this and it’s better for him to feel wanted by his birth mother - a child shouldn’t have to think that any of their parents didn’t want him. Regina is mollified by Emma not buying into the curse idea, and it touches some issues about ‘if only Cora had a heart and started to love her the way Emma is learning to love Regina’s son (as Henry deserves).’

Awake!Rumple steers the therapy sessions towards asking Jiminy how to reconnect with an estranged son, since he has this resource here, and also how to be a better person because experienced prosthetic conscience. He also lets Henry know he’s awake because he doesn’t want Henry to have to think he might be crazy. So there’s father-son bonding as well as Henry-Emma bonding about the Operation. Regina and Emma bond over Henry, there are moms-son outings.

Because Regina has two additional morality chains and Graham is Emma’s friend, she locks him beneath the hospital instead of killing him. Rumple tells Henry about Baelfire and gets hugs and someone telling him it’ll be alright.

Emma gets an offer to move in with Regina, Mr. Gold, and Henry, but she’s kind of starting to develop feelings for Regina and Regina is married (they tell her later that it’s just for adoption purposes) so she lives with Mary Margeret instead. So Regina gets to hear that Snow feels terrible for pining over a married man etc. and plans out letting them go on some dates so that it will be more of a wrench when David gets his memories back and goes back to Kathryn etc.

Mr. Gold still loses his temper with Moe French, but this makes Regina get paranoid that he’s awake, made more intense/near panic because she doesn’t want to lose the relationship they’ve had for years, where she’s had him always there for her and her son, and she doesn’t want to hear him mock her for it/use it against her/hurt Henry by leaving them/any number of things. Also, if he finds out about Belle...

Jefferson releases Belle to motivate Gold to make the savior hurry the hell up and break the curse/turn him against Regina. Rumple is just so hurt that Regina, who he’s come to care for platonically as the mother of the second child he’s raised, hates him enough to do this to Belle just to hurt him.

Before that Rumple wasn’t pushing for the curse to be broken, telling himself it’s because it’s fated to happen but also because the therapy is preparation for finding Bae (and also happy), but now he needs to get Belle her memories back.

He brings Emma to Belle and tells her Regina did this, and then sends her down under the library to confront her with a dragon/make her believe.

Emma, who by this point has really started to love Regina for giving her son the childhood she wishes she could have had, among other things, is just like... it’s not healthy for Regina to be like this, so secretly miserable and full of hate. She kisses Regina wishing to break the curse to free Regina from all this, from having to be the villain, and the curse breaks.

Rumple immediately moves out of the house and files for divorce, but tells Emma and Henry he’s giving Emma his blessings and also when a mob shows up for Regina he threatens to kick their asses. He books a lot of sessions with Dr. Hopper because finding Belle and everything really threw him for a loop and he wants to have it together when he finds Baelfire to minimize the odds of fucking it up.

Family session with Henry, Rumple, Regina, Emma and Belle. Henry meeting Belle and saying that two moms is great, three is even better!

Rumple still nearly has a panic attack at the airport because Baelfire is just that stressful to him, but Belle, Emma and Henry are all there, he’s surrounded by family. Rumple doesn’t practically lead with casting magic on Baelfire thanks to Dr. Hopper’s advice, and Baelfire finds out about Henry but that’s really not the only reason he comes to Storybrooke.

Henry meets Tamara and is ‘sweet, four moms!’

Snow’s opinion of Rumple is shaped by the town having gossiped about the scary Mr. Gold transforming into a doting father who is sometimes seen knitting in his shop or waiting to pick Henry up.

Emma is very fond of Rumple because he adores her son/she’s seen the cinnamon roll he was at home with Henry and Regina and he’s also badass, good protector for her son, 10/10 would recommend as babysitter. So she accepts magic lessons from Rumple because he wants to learn how to protect Henry and Regina goes with her and Rumple teaches her stuff he didn’t before and apologizes for manipulating her and says he’ll try to make sure she gets her happy ending to make up for it. So magic bonding and Belle is also there listening and learning about magic and seeing Rumple being happy. 

Rumple and Regina are able to joke about Snow being Regina’s mother in law. 

Once Baelfire is in Storybrook he’s convinced to do sessions with Gold and Hopper so he doesn’t have to talk to his father without someone there? Rumple is happy with that because someone to keep him from fucking up. Baelfire ends up bonding with the Charmings in the Badass Normal group and opens up to them more because they’re not on Rumple’s side like everyone else is. He asks them about their interactions with Rumple and the three of them talk re. how they feel about him being so close to Emma/Henry. Baelfire gets to feel like someone is on his side. 

Baelfire starts going to Dr. Hopper for solo sessions because he doesn’t want to fuck up with his son the way he got fucked up. He’s also been talking to Henry, who’s been trying to convince him that Rumple is the dad he knew. When Tamara betrays him, Rumple doesn’t kill her and he has a large found family to show him that he’s still loved/make him feel a little less like he’ll inevitably lose every relationship he has. 

Baelfire also gets to feel listened to bc. Hook - Emma seeing how different Rumple is about him, and Baelfire telling her about the kind father Emma tells him she’s seen with Henry, versus what the curse turned him into. 

Rumple promising he will let Belle break the curse now that he’s found Baelfire, but then they need to rescue Henry from Pan and Baelfire finding out that Rumple also got abandoned by his father for power.

Hook coming on to now adult Baelfire instead of Emma because he can see the resemblance to Milah, and Baelfire knowing that Milah was not a good person (and Regina possibly getting annoyed with something Baelfire says about Rumple and telling him she originally sent Rumple to Dr. Hopper because he was a victim if spousal abuse). Baelfire and Hook taking a long time to actually get together because of Baelfire not liking the guy and not wanting to be a substitute for the mom who ditched him, but adventures keep happening and they gradually grow closer once Hook stops wanting to kill Baelfire’s papa/there is UST. 

So eventually Henry gets three dads, three moms, grandma Snow and grandpa Charming. 

Uncursed!Rumple and Belle being research and potions people, which Henry can help out with; Snow, Charming and Baelfire being Heroes - with Hook also being a direct combat type; Emma and Regina being light and dark direct/combat magicians. Rumple has access to a lot of sources of True Love, so he brews more potions and can use one for a power-up if someone comes to attack Belle and Henry. 

Snow and Charming + Belle and Rumple have babies, and during threats those babies are of course left with Rumple and Belle and Rumple is the one to primarily take care of them while Belle looks up from whatever she’s working on and smiles to see him so happy.

Regina can’t have kids, but Emma can and Regina kept Daniel’s body, so eventually Rumple brews up something and Emma gets pregnant with a baby with Daniel’s genes, a child of two of the people Regina loves most. After that they adopt older children, who have been in the system awhile, and a lot of those kids end up bonding with Baelfire and Hook more but that’s fine, it’s all one family.

[amoristt]

Alive | Rick x Reader

@dinodiegos asked: Can u gimme some sick fuckin rick just protect in ur sweet ass from some zoms pls and thank you love you

Hell Yeah you can owo 

im dumb and accidentally made this more into action than romance so sorry abt that FHDJFS i wrote too much to just up and toss it out. hope you like it anyways and if u want one that’s Romance Specific hmu bc i love rick 

reblogs + tags and replies will make my entire day as i put a lot of effort into this :)!

story continues beneath the read more. let me know if you can’t access it!

warning: mild language, gore

Alive

Any second now you felt like you were going to collapse against the concrete.

Your shoes, already worn down from wearing them so often, felt like they were going to fall apart and leave your heels scraping, but you didn’t stop sprinting for even a second. Garbled groans and incoherent cries of the dead sounded from everywhere, leaving your head spinning. You were surrounded.

The sun was starting to shift beneath the tree’s horizon, and it seemed what was supposed to be a short supply run quickly took a turn for absolute worst. If you weren’t so entirely focused on searching for a way out you’d be worrying about where they had all come from but right now the only thing on your mind were two things: run, find Rick.

And to think, your day with Rick originally hadn’t started out bad at all.

The first stop the two of you made wasn’t too shabby, and you found yourself with a new hoodie and a hat for when the colder temperatures would start to settle in. Rick found some baby clothes stuffed into a dresser (which neither of you thought too deeply about) and you fawned over how small the item was, telling him Judith would look adorable in the pink and red top. There was a medicine cabinet with a few leftover vitamin and motrin bottles, along with bandaids and what looked to be some sort of disinfectant. It wasn’t a whole lot, but it better than nothing. Plus you and him had rounded up some more things from your previous run two days ago, so for the moment Alexandria was good.

On the way home you felt pretty good about the day. Rick was playing Cd’s that he’d scrounged up from one place or another, and you had a hand out the window, enjoying the push of the wind against your palms. In between the front and passenger seat where yours and Rick’s hands, locked together casually. With all the years having gone by you’d learn to enjoy the good days when they came, even if the world around you was in shambles. Odd how an apocalypse can make a slightly warm temperature and no murder a ‘good day’.

Things became a little bumpier as the day progressed, however. You’d passed by a few walkers here and there, their haggled and rotting corpses trying to stumble towards the moving vehicle with no avail. Neither of you thought much of it- It was the end of the world. Not seeing any walkers for the duration of your run would have been odd. Eventually though those occasional solo walkers became more and more, their numbers growing with every mile it seemed. They hung out mostly along the sides of the road, bumping into one another by trees and ditches.

After another mile or two the numbers thinned out again, and your nerves started to die down like before. Four or five became two or three, and finally there was nothing once more.

“What do you think happened?” you’d asked, eyebrows knit in mild concern. The car was quite a distance away from Alexandria, so the walkers didn’t pose an (immediate) threat to everyone yet. However you were still worried- something must have brought them all here.

Rick sucked in a breath and shrugged, tilting his head. “Can’t say. They’re spread out, though. If somethin’ brought em’ here it was a while ago.”

“Yeah,” You leaned back and stared blankly out the windshield, trying to shake off the odd dread that was building in your gut. “Guess you’re right.”

Rick’s eyes left the road for a moment at the sound of your voice, and he took in your expression before turning back to the wheel. His hand squeezed yours lightly.

“Don’t worry much about it,” He started reassuringly, “They’re far out here.”

“I know, I just-...” You shook your head. “We don’t have the best luck when it comes to walkers, Rick.”

He nodded once. “I know that, but right now we gotta focus on this. When we get back I’ll have someone keep an eye out just incase, sound good?”

“That sounds… Good.” A small smile found it’s way to your lips, the corners tugging up as you looked back out the window.

After that the car ride was spent in another comfortable silence, and you replayed what Rick had told you over and over in your head. Despite how you tried to tell yourself it would be fine, something felt wrong. Something felt dangerous, and it left you sitting there in a state of apprehension that you kept entirely to yourself. Even if you talked to Rick about it you knew what he’d say- that there was nothing to be worried about and that even if the walkers found their way to Alexandria, there was more than enough gunpower and people to wipe them out before they even got close the gate. Still, even thought you knew he was entirely right, anxiety settled heavily in your gut.

Miles even farther away, a few businesses sat in a circle of road. It looked to be some sort of strip mall, all the signs mostly broken down and laying in piles of rubble on the cracked parking lot. There were multiple empty cars sitting idle in their spots, all of them covered in years worth of grime and rust. The car you and Rick pulled up in looked like a million dollars compared to the rest, even if it had it’s own fair share of weathering down.

“One last stop?” Rick asked you, and you bit your lip. One last stop couldn’t hurt.

You agreed, and to avoid getting trapped in the lot, Rick made the choice to pull off the main road and part in the grass a bit away. You should have listened to your dread-filled gut when he turned the car off and hopped out, you following his lead and shoving your hands into your pockets. The small strip mall didn’t look like too bad of a place to search. Clothing stores, mini groceries, pretty much a huge variety of very useful things that Alexandria could use.

It was too good of a chance to pass up, so when Rick gave you that look of his, you nodded and allowed him to lead the way with his gun drawn. At first things were quiet. Only the sound of your steps on concrete could be heard, and soon you and him split off and allowed a few cars in between. You had your own gun held tight in your hands, your mouth dry as tension on increased in your muscles. Any moment now… Things were going to go wrong.

When things didn’t, in fact, go wrong, you scolded yourself for being such a baby. Sure, you were in a life threatening situation, but there was no real reason in that very moment for you to be acting like a cautious cat. As Rick gestured that he was going to branch further away, you allowed him to and rolled your shoulders in an attempt to calm yourself down. The last thing you needed was to be spooked by a sound and accidentally fire your gun at nothing. Then you’d really be in some shit.

Thankfully something about shifting your muscles did seem to loosen you up just enough to glide past a few more cars, eyes peeled and finger flush against the trigger while you made your way closer to shop at the very end of the strip mall: a grocery outlet. Both of the glass doors were wide open and shattered, the windows spray painted with what looked like horribly drawn atomic bomb mushroom clouds. You laughed silently to yourself and shook your head before coming closer. You poked your head into the building, peering into the darkness, and a pin-dropping silence took over.

All at once everything fell apart.

A piercing siren cut through the air, destroying the jarring silence with its merciless screaming. You realized, with crushing horror, that it was your car alarm.

It wailed and wailed and wailed, the sound making you launch away from the doors and back out into the parking lot. Panicking, your fear only doubled over when you didn’t see Rick over the tops of the cars. You weren’t close enough to the road to see the car but you knew damn well that was it was- a walker must have heard you pull into the grass before turning it off and the stupid thing thought there was people inside. It had set the alarm off, and now you were alone and barely armed surrounded by a labyrinth of vehicles.

You knew all too well what was to come next, and low and behold, you were right as always.

The first walker that made way through the line up of broken down cars was a tall one missing it’s left arm. Initially it was following the noise, but when you halted to a sharp stop and gasped it took note of you in the corner of it’s eye and reached out with it’s one last hand. You grimaced and took a few steps back, aiming to turn around and dart towards where you assumed Rick was, but when you turned around your heart fell to your stomach. Walkers, nearly a dozen of them, were spilling around the end of the strip mall and making their way into the parking lot. If you hadn’t already been spotted by one you’d just shove yourself down under a truck or something, but it was hot on your heels and coming closer despite how easily it’s attention could be grabbed by the siren blaring.

Darting left and trying to hide yourself from all the walkers pooling, you cursed under your breath. Your gun didn’t have nearly enough ammo to take on this many, and shooting them could make things arguably worse. If you started shooting then Rick would start shooting and who knows how many more that could attract. Instead of opening fire you just continued trying to make your way to his side of the mall, but you were stopped dead in your tracks at the horrific sight ahead. Even more walkers. They were hobbling towards the car as well, slamming into dead cars on the way.

Along with the car alarm still howling, you could hear the disgusting moans of the dead starting to surround you. With them both behind you and in front of you, you were trapped, and you tried to wrack your mind for something to do. You didn’t have enough time to hit the dirt and slide under a car- not that it would work in the first place because you were being hunted by the walker with one arm. You couldn’t just up and scream for Rick either because then it would attract them all. The only option you could see was maybe trying to get into a shop, but if the door was locked you were entirely fucked. They’d see you make the run for it, and if you couldn’t get in right away they’d barrage you in seconds.

Heart thudding in your chest, you barely registered when a walker passed by the car you were hiding behind. It hadn’t seen you, too focused on the sound, but your jump-scared induced reaction surely caught the attention of a few more that cut across their path to find their way to you.

Not knowing what else to do, you ran.

From one car to the next you jumped over hoods, bounced off doors and hauled yourself in between them trying to get away from the ever-growing walkers compiling behind you. Everything was happening at once- it felt like you were going to pass out right then and there. Rick was still nowhere to be seen and immediately your brain started filling in imaginary blanks.

They’d gotten to him. He couldn’t make it out fast enough. He’s dead.

Moans of the dead grew closer once again and you pushed yourself even harder. Walkers still chased you like a game past the obstacles of cars, and even though it would mean heading straight for the walkers in front of you, you still tried to get close to the area where Rick had been. He was closer to the car than you were given you were on the other end of the parking lot, maybe he was trying to get inside of it to turn the ever blaring alarm off. Maybe he was hiding inside a shop like you’d considered.

Finding that dodging cars and moving around them was taking too much of your time, you opted to choosing an aisle and taking a straight sprint down the line. Cars passed by you in a blur, and you quickly found yourself at the other end of the parking lot. However, it wasn’t the right end you wanted to be on. You were still far from where Rick had parked, and you were still being chased.

You made the impulse choice to give into your natural instinct to hide, choosing a van to duck behind before moving to the truck next to it. Without a seconds hesitation you dropped to your knees then your belly, using the massive tire next to your body to help haul yourself underneath the truck. You hoped, prayed that they lost sight of you when you hid behind the van. Your heart slammed against your ribcage when you caught sight of their shuffling feet coming closer, their ripped up jeans and shoes visible as they stumbled around in search of you. Looking behind, the sight of feet surrounded you almost entirely.

Dulled out shoes of all color stepped around the truck, their actions much slower and less driven than before. You physically covered your mouth just incase you were giving off any sort of sound, and all you could think about was how easy it would be for one to drop down and grab you. In the case that one happened to see you, it would be over. You would be trapped. You would die.

The walkers continued to hang around, stepping menacingly by the perimeter of the truck. You could have cried when a few branched off and disappeared, their attention having been grabbed once again by the alarm still running. One by one pairs of feet shuffled away from you, some quicker than others, and eventually you found yourself alone in your hiding spot. All at once you released the heaving breath you had been holding, your hand coming to run through your hair. Every part of your skin was clammy, your entire body trembling with coursing adrenaline.

Unable to stand even another moment underneath the truck, you scooted your way to the side and picked yourself up on the ground. For just a moment it seemed like you’d avoided the storm of walkers, their disfigured bodies moving to swarm the vehicle quite a ways away. You allowed yourself to breath, leaning forward and holding your hands on your knees while your chest rose and fell rapidly. When you looked up, eyes frantically scanning over the tops of all the cars, you still couldn’t see Rick over the horde.

You tried to see past all the moving bodies, but something stopped you. A sharp movement right in the corner of your eye. With barely any time to react, you weren’t able to tear yourself away when a hand gripped tight to your forearm. You jumped and bit back a startled cry, and then you came face to face with that same damn walker from before. Up close it was even uglier than you could have imagined, it’s face rotted and it’s jaw hanging open awkwardly. It’s eyes were so sunken and horrid.

Instinctively your free hand came up to rip at the walkers fingers, trying to free yourself. When it didn’t let up you opted to just backing up and putting your weight into jerking away, but nothing was working. Suddenly you were more than thankful that the walker only had one arm- if he had both of them he could likely take an even better grip and keep you pinned in your spot. Your mind raced for something to do, some way to pry the walker away from you without setting off the gun in your hand. To try and stop him from taking a bite at your face, you used your other arm and pressed it to the walkers chest to keep those teeth away from your skin. It didn’t help that he was taller than you, somewhat towering over your figure with his broken jaw attempting to bite around nothing. The thought to hide returned and in one fell push, you lunged forward off your toes and managed to send the walker toppling backwards onto the ground. It thudded and squirmed, it’s one arm working to find purchase.

With the way your mind was desperately thinking about what to do, it was no surprise that your limbs couldn’t keep up with every thought that raced by. As the walker writhed on the ground you made a move to escape its view by running around to the other side of the truck, but in your absolute panic you overshot your turn and slammed harshly into the metal front. Unfortunately, the combination of your already shaking muscles mixed with just how hard you’d slammed into the truck made for a deadly turn. You fell harshly onto the pavement, hands not quote catching you in time to stop your chin from hitting the ground. Pain shot through your leg, what if you’d broken it? The walker behind you had rolled onto its stomach by now. You scrambled in your spot, bringing yourself up halfway before you were yanked back down. Fingers wrapped iron-tight around your ankle, broken nails digging tightly into the flesh barely exposed with your pants rising up your leg.

The threat of being scratched and infected became very apparent, and you made the stupid, fear fueled response to try and kick the walker's head. It barely affected the walker, not feeling the pain from the blunt hits, so it just continued trying to either pull you down or pull itself up to you instead. Your gun had clattered out of reach, resting underneath the truck where you’d once been hiding.

Fear rose like bile up to your chest. You continued kicking at it, praying that some part of it’s skull would give and allow you break free, but it never happened. Frantic, you tried to roll out of it’s grasp, but when you stopped on your back you gasped out at the sight of another walker B-lining it straight towards you. It was a few cars away but moving fast, and with your current position at being unable to stand, if that walker arrived… That would be it. You would die.

A million words screamed at you but this time they weren’t of escaping. They were of the potential aftermath- Rick finding your corpse. What little family you had left mourning for you.

One thought stuck out more than the rest. If this was how you were to die, it was going to fucking hurt. You were going to suffer immensely, and finally adrenaline rushed through you all over again. Like a rabid animal you fought, twisting, turning, sitting up to tear at the walkers fingers. In your fight the grip loosened and in that very second you ripped away your leg and sent a kick straight into the walkers face. It’s skull ruptured against your powerful kick and nothing in your entire life had felt more satisfying than the bone crushing. The walker went limp, it’s face hitting the concrete with a thud.

Free from your grip you rapidly rolled over onto your hands and knees, but you didn’t get too far. As if it were one thing after another, a shadow covered over your still immobile body. That walker was right up on you, standing merely a foot away with it’s eyes fixated it’s prey. Something about the sight of it so close while you felt so tiny stopped you. You froze. Every part of you screamed to move but you couldn’t, paralyzed in your spot even as it started to drop down to make its attack. There was nothing in it’s eyes. It’s teeth clipped together. It’s rotting fingers reached-

A shot rang out.

The walker fell like a pile of bricks right in front of you. Everything sounded like it was underwater, and you felt like you were moving in slow motion as you tried to bring yourself to your feet. When you almost fell back onto your knees thanks to your uncoordinated limbs, you were forced back into your right mind when yet another hand came to grab tight on your shoulder, the fingers sliding down to your forearm where they clasped and literally pulled you up onto your feet.

Fight kicked in once again and you turned on your heel, not taking a second look before you put your hands flat against the figure's chest before you shoved hard. It did not fall flat on it’s ass like you thought it would, but it did lose it’s grip. However, you stopped in your tracks at the sight of what it was.

Rick.

Blood spattered his shoulders and the front of his shirt, his eyes just as frantic and intense as yours probably were. At your outburst against him, he steadied himself and rose his hands to his chest, his gun held tight in his grip.

“Where were you?!” Without thinking your arms outreached, grabbing him tight by the cloth of his shirt, and you pulled him as close as you could. You thought for a time there that you’d lost him, all those horrible ‘what if’s playing tricks on your mind and sanity. But, he was right there, and he had saved your life like he always did.

“I was trying to get to you,” His arms came to wrap about you protectively, allowing you your moment of recollection, before he pushed you away and brought you down to crouch along the side of the truck. “Listen to me, listen to me. They’re gonna be coming here any minute now- we gotta find a way to get back around to the car.”

You tugged at your hair, eyes scanning over the ground as you debated what to do. “Why are there so many of them?”

“I don’t know. Somethin’ brought em here.”

“I knew something was going to go wrong-”

“Hey, hey,” He held your face in his hands to stop you from your spiralling. “I know, you were right. But right now we gotta get out of this.”

You swallowed thickly and nodded, sucking in a deep breath before taking a peek through the windows. Sure enough, the walkers were coming, but they hadn’t yet seen you. They aimlessly followed the area, growing closer but without much direction.

“Okay-” You tried to compose yourself by wiping over your face quickly. “Okay, they havn’t seen us yet.”

“But they know we're here,” Rick too took a glance through the musty glass windows. “Van,” He made a motion for you join him and you did, trying to follow his line of sight. “Right there. If we can cut across without being seen we can hide behind there. The walkers think we’re over here, where the sound was. They won’t know we left.”

You nodded and tried to not let the oncoming walkers psych you into acting too brashly again. “How do we get over there?”

“We run.”

You sent him a sharp glance. “Obviously, but how do we make sure they don’t see us?”

Rick took a moment to think, eyes narrowing at the stared at the van, then the walkers, then the van again. After a moment he nodded towards the walkers passing by the cars. “See that little gap?” You sprained your neck to see, and there it was. About a dozen of walkers stuck close together, and in between another handful there was a small gap that left a few cars left alone for a brief time. “When they split up, we cut across from that blue car to the red one. Now, if we stay low and move fast enough, we can make it to that van. They aren’t goin’ over there- they’ll go right by to get to here.”

Nodding, you swallowed again. This was so incredibly risky- even just one seeing you and him saunter from one vehicle to the next would be catastrophic. Still, you needed to get to your own car. It’s wailing was going to attract even more if you didn’t put a stop to it now. At your nod of understanding, Rick crouched back down again and brought you with him. His hand moved to grab yours, and even in that crucial moment, you stopped to take in his expression.

He was uncertain, fear coloring those blue eyes of his. You knew exactly what he was doing- in times like this he liked to have a ‘one last look’ of sorts should something happen. With a squeeze of assurance you nodded once more at him, mouthing the words, ‘It will be okay’. Quickly, he dipped in and kissed you once, twice. You kissed him right back, eyebrows furrowed in worry. You couldn’t lose him.

When he pulled away his eyes fixated on your hands momentarily before he plunged himself right back into his mind. In a second flat he let go of your hand and passed you, holding his hand up to tell you to stay sill behind him. Your stomach was in all sorts of knots, your legs shaking with all the movement and fear, but when he looked back at you before taking off you followed him with no regards. Instantly the two of you were behind another car, this one much smaller than the truck. Close behind Rick, he led you from one end to the other, and he stopped to peek over the hood of the car before once again darting across the opening before finding cover in another vehicle. Every single time you passed from car to car, those few seconds where you were bare it felt like you were going to either get grabbed or seen.

Eventually the horde was no longer coming right at you. They still hobbled towards where the gunshot rang out but you were on the side of them now, watching them go past. In the distance straight ahead you could see the van, it’s dirty white sticking out against the dimming daylight. Nausea settled deep within your gut as Rick stopped at the far end, waiting for the walkers to break up enough for him to make a break for it. This would be the hardest part. If you and him didn’t run at the exact right moment, if you took too long or went too early, you would be seen and chased. At that point, however, the two of you would be surrounded on either side.

You wished that you could’ve just stayed where you were, but the second half of the walkers were well on their way and unfortunately if you stayed you would be directly into their path. That van would be the only spot where you could hide  without being in the way or being detected.

Still standing in front of you, hand up to keep you halted, Rick looked back at you. “Ready?” He mouthed, and even though fright had you by the throat you still nodded. Seconds dragged on like hours, your heart thudding harshly in your ears while you waited for him to make a move. The car siren only lightened your nerves up further. The waiting was agonizing; scenarios played out like movies in front of your eyes. So much could go wrong-

Rick took off. He kept low to the ground while he moved, his actions swift and precise. Everything in your mind went blank as you reacted on instinct, following his lead. Leaving the cover of the car made you feel naked, passing from car to car at such a crucial moment felt like it was taking forever. Step after step, you swore that something had seen you. The last step you made before joining Rick behind the van was much for forceful, your body nearly toppling over when you finally made it.

Rick fingers came to grab at your arms, tugging you close to him while he moved from the front of the van to the back, keeping sure to watch the walkers through the tinted glass windows. When he finally came to a stop, letting your arm fall back to your side, you held your breath.

“Did they see us?” You whispered, and when he didn’t answer right away you felt your stomach drop.

“No,” Rick shook his head and exhaled roughly. “No. They didn’t see.”

Your head fell for a moment, a breath of utter relief making its way out of your lips. They didn’t see.

Walkers passed by the van, the two of you on the other side of it watching them unknowingly pass you right by. They gathered around the dead body of the one Rick had shot, then all their eyes searched aimlessly for something to take sight of. Thankfully, you and him were gone.

As the last of them passed by to join the group, Rick nodded his head to motion for you to follow him as he made his way around the car, stopping at the trunk and taking a peek around the end before darting out of the cover. Now that the horde had been attracted to the other side of the parking lot, it was a race to get to your car before any others did. A straight shot past a couple dozen vehicles and you’d be there- and Rick knew that.

You followed close behind him, the two of you dead sprinting down the line. He was faster than you and more experienced in running but you managed to stay on his heels, legs aching when you realized you were in the final haul. Only a few more yards and you’d be there. The siren made your ears ring as you drew nearer but that didn’t stop you or him for even a second. If anything it motivated you, making your speed increase. Down the road you could see the blurry figures of walkers being attracted to the sound.

Being right next to the car made your head spin with the sound of the alarm, and you could hear Rick cursing as he shoved the key into the lock before swinging open his door and then forcing they key into into the ignition. All at once everything went quiet, the car starting up and the alarm turning off now that the key had been inserted. The very instant the doors unlocked you threw it open and jumped inside, not waiting to be properly in your seat before slamming the door shut. Rick, in a frenzy to leave the area entirely, pressed hard on the gas and made a rough U-turn back on the road. He didn’t waste a second in flooring it down the street and away from the horde. Growing closer to the walkers you’d seen earlier, he narrowly avoided running them over as he made the getaway. They watched the car barrel past thim with lagging minds, and seeing them disappear in the distance had you leaning back in your seat with a hand splayed over your eyes.

“Jesus christ,” you panted. “Jesus christ I thought that was gonna’ be it.”

“Hey,” Rick averted your attention to him, his hand coming to rest on your leg. “We made it. We’re out.” He was breathing heavy too, and you could see him checking the rearview mirror every few seconds just in case.

“Worst fucking luck ever.”

He looked at you for a moment before turning back to the road like he did earlier, but this time his features were so much harder. “We’re out.” He said, but you weren’t sure if he was saying that to help you down or he himself.

“I thought I lost you,” You whispered, resting your hand overtop his own. “I couldn’t find you, and I-” Within your chest nerves started to light up again, that feeling of fear returning. “I couldn’t see you anywhere and I really thought-”

“___,” Rick interrupted you, taking his eyes off the road to make sure you were looking at him. “I’m right here. It’s over, we’re going back home.”

“I know, I just-”

He shook his head. “You aren’t gonna’ lose me, no matter what. Stop thinking about it.”

Though you nodded at his words, you couldn’t stop. It was the only thing you could picture, the only thing you could feel. His hand squeezed you.

“Stop thinking about it. I’m right here.”

Looking up at him, you swallowed and nodded once more. “I know.”

“Good. I’m not goin’ anywhere, and neither are you. Okay?”

“Okay.” You answered, but this time you really meant it. The both of you were alive despite the terrifying run in, and now you were going home. You wiped at your eyes roughly and sucked in a sharp breath, trying to calm down. In the side view mirror, there were no walkers to be seen and there weren’t any ahead either. You’d made it out, even if your nerves were still having a hard time letting that sink in. You leaned back, eyes slipping shut and your hand once again coming to rest over Ricks. Tired, you mumbled, “Let’s not stop anywhere else.”

“Course not. We got some good stuff already. Sun’s going down- no point in goin’ out any further.”

You let out a sigh of a relief and watched the trees pass in a blur. “Sorry for making you use one of your bullets.”

“It worked out didn’t it? Gave us the chance to get back into here.” He paused to check the mirror again. “Not that it matters- I’d of used the whole clip if I had to.”

You watched him for a few seconds. Even though you expected an answer like that, hearing it still made the corners of your lips turn up in a smile. Your thumb rubbed over his knuckles, long since scarred by countless other fights. “Love you.”

From the corner of your eye you saw him look at you before turning back. After a moment of thoughtful silence, you heard him exhale into a smile. “I love you too.”

[prinanalogicality]

this blog made me love moxiety in the human-verse, so I was wondering if you have any more thoughts about them? (like how they met, shit they got into growing up, more on how their relationship works, ect) bc im honestly rlly curious!! :D

Boy let me tell you, I have a lot of thoughts.

I have been wanting to write a piece about their relationship in the human verse that I kind of created in my fics, but I have only gotten nsfw requests for them, hah. So, thank you for sending in this ask to get my butt into gear about writing things about them normally!

I haven’t gone into super detail about their lives in the other fics, so you do not need to read them before you read this - they are nsfw, after all. I will tell things I said in them to fill in for people who are uncomfortable with reading nsfw. For those of you that want to read the fics, here are the links:

Beauty, read this one first: Tumblr AO3

My Honeybee, read this one second: Tumblr AO3

I want to answer this in a headcanon style, so, let’s get going!

Pairing: Moxiety! This will just be cutesy backstory and relationship fluff.

They met when they were kids. Anxiety was five, Morality was seven. Anxiety’s family moved because his father was a police officer that was moved to a new location.

They were next door neighbors. In the area they lived in, it was small, so everyone knew everyone. There weren’t too many kids around the neighborhood, about eight, but Morality was the oldest. The other kids were Anxiety’s age or a year or two younger.

Quickly, Anxiety and Morality’s mothers became good friends and their fathers would watch sports together. This lead to them, of course, introducing their sons. Morality was a sweet cutie pie, even as a kid. He was very excited to make a new friend, and he always wanted to either go to Anxiety’s house or have Anxiety come over to his own.

Anxiety was antisocial, even as a kid. He was one of those kids that would hide behind his mother’s or father’s legs around people. He hardly wanted to go out and play with the other kids, and though he would act annoyed at first (he has always been such a grumpy person), he actually didn’t mind Morality’s company, if they were alone. He would eventually start hiding behind Morality when around people. It totally went to Morality’s ego.

By the time he was twelve and Anxiety was ten, Morality had finally gotten Anxiety to start coming outside to play more often. They would go on walks, play silly games. They wouldn’t really play too many sports, since neither of them are too terribly sporty, but Morality enjoys football. As said above, they didn’t play often, but when they did - they were a force to be reckoned with. Anxiety was a great quarterback and Morality was a great wide-receiver. They work as a team amazingly.

Morality was the leader of their child posse, as the oldest, and he had deemed Anxiety his second in command, even if the other kids were jealous.

They were good kids. Good kids do some bad things occasionally, such as them wandering into an abandoned nursing home and laughing at the graffiti. They didn’t create any themselves. They would go back there often, just to be alone and goof off, but one time they got yelled at by a homeless man trying to sleep in one of the rooms. He scared them so bad (they were convinced he was a ghost) that they ran out and never returned.

Their first kiss was when Morality was sixteen and Anxiety was fourteen. Morality had convinced Anxiety to come to a get-together of Morality’s friends, because Anxiety was first starting high school and he wanted to introduce him to people and help him acclimate. As silly kids do in these situations, someone suggested Spin the Bottle, and Anxiety was apprehensive, but Morality promised it would be okay. Anxiety hadn’t been landed on, but when he had a turn to spin, he landed on Morality. Their kiss was short, sweet, chaste - but it left a blush on both of their cheeks and butterflies in their tummies. Anxiety quit the game after that.

Morality is a sweetheart, but if someone was to mess with Anxiety, all hell would break loose. Anxiety has terrible anxiety, and he deals with panic attacks. One of the only people that can calm him easily is Morality. The teachers at their school learned that if Anxiety was to get anxious in class, they would call upon Morality to come calm him down.

Anxiety had a pretty intense “emo/scene” phase, if that is what you want to call it. Always listening to “emo” bands, wearing all black, eyeliner. With his anxieties, he hated social interaction and was put on medication for anxiety and depression. Morality was a source of light for him, someone who didn’t make fun of him for his clothing, affinity for makeup, or chemical imbalances in his brain. He made Anxiety smile on his harder days.

If someone at school was to say something about Anxiety or bully him, Morality was his bodyguard. Anxiety was Morality’s bodyguard in turn. Morality was a super sweet guy, he was pretty good in gym class, had good grades, was popular. But people get jealous, and they would try to rile him up to make him angry or make him upset. Anxiety would step in to make them back off. If someone was rude to Anxiety, which happened often, Morality’s happy-go-lucky demeanor would darken and he could be scary, making people back off of his best friend.

It was very rough for Anxiety when Morality graduated, but Morality went to university close to home, so he would be there to pick Anxiety up from school or take him out for dinner afterwards.

Anxiety’s dad was killed on duty during Anxiety’s last year of high school. Morality was there for him, as always. He was there to give him hugs and pick him up whenever he falls.

Anxiety discovered his aesthetic sense when he graduated high school. He was a fan of black skinny jeans, oversized jackets/hoodies/sweaters, old band T-shirts. Morality almost fell over when he saw Anxiety dressed in black skinny (should they be that tight?) jeans and an oversized black knit sweater that kept falling over his shoulder, in which he would fix it. He just likes to feel comfortable, and the bigger clothes felt like a warm hug (like a makeshift Morality hug).

Anxiety went to the same university as Morality, and they both became so busy that they sort of grew apart. Morality would often call him, but Anxiety could never go out, too swamped with school.

When Anxiety turned twenty, Morality was twenty-two. Morality had been pondering over his feelings for Anxiety, because without being around him as often, he has felt sad. He talked to Roman, ever the romantic, and Roman helped him to understand his feelings. He is overprotective of Anxiety, he wants to hug him, he still remembers their first kiss, he hates being away from him - he is in love.

He showed up at Anxiety’s dorm with a bouquet of white roses, dressed to the nines. Anxiety opened the door, wearing one of Morality’s university hoodies and sweatpants - he hadn’t expected to see Morality like that. Morality told him about how much he loves him, how he always has, how he always will, and Anxiety didn’t even say yes to going on a date with him, he just cried and pulled Morality into the dorm, telling him to wait while he gets dressed.

Morality is about 5′9″ in height, and he has broad shoulders. His eyes are a light brown, he has dimples, his skin is lightly tanned, his hair is a light brown that almost looks blonde-ish. Anxiety is about 5′7″ in height, and he is slimmer and pale. He has darker hair, almost black, but it is still brown. His eyes are a deep green, with gold rings around the irises. Also, sign me up for Anxiety actually wearing eyeliner. If he was human, he wouldn’t just dabble black eyeshadow all under his eyes and cheeks. He would be an expert with the flick of the wrist.

Morality is all about PDA. When they start dating, he is all about holding hands with Anxiety, hugging him from behind whenever they are stopped, kissing his cheek, his neck, his forehead, his lips. Anxiety complains about it, but he really likes it. It makes him feel loved, he especially likes it because he loves having all of Morality’s attention.

Morality is generally the one that takes Anxiety on dates, but the more they are together, the more comfortable Anxiety is with actually taking Morality out. Anxiety loves Morality and he wants to please him, he wants to be close to him. He starts becoming more comfortable with initiating the PDA with Morality, and Morality is ecstatic.

They receive a lot of compliments from family, friends, strangers. They think they are the perfect, adorable couple. They totally are.

This is longer than originally planned, but it was fun to write, so I hope it is fun to read! Feel free to add on your own headcanons, I might come back to build on some cutesy stuff about their relationship.