#(I accidentally hit delete instead of edit)

[cringethursday]

I need that bloody shot of Kyle Fletcher right fucking now

[mangoisms]

HNMHHHHHHH ACCIDENTALLY POSTED CHAPTER 19 OF FRMB I AM SOOOOO SORRY GUYS.

[imaginespazzi]

Part 3: Miss Me, Miss Me Not

Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9

And it hits me when the lights go on (shit, maybe I miss you)

(In which a lazy writer somehow still manages to make her deadlines, much to her own shock)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining and a teensy bit of Fluff

Words: 5.8K

TW: Swearing (once again I think that's it?)

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 I'm not gonna lie til about an hour ago, I very much did not think I was gonna give y'all a Monday update but here we are! A couple of housekeeping things, I went back and added months to the years so hopefully that's more helpful. I lowkey dislike this part but I felt like the fic needed it and I'm excited to write the next part. Ngl, the editing on this is pretty nonexistent because trying to read this back lowkey killed me so please feel free to point out mistakes so I can fix them. As always, let me know what you liked, and disliked and anything you wanna see going forward. I really appreciate all of y'alls feedback and the long reviews make my day! Have a good rest of your week lovies <3

September 2017

Azzi: just got home :) 

It’s a simple text and it should be easy for Paige to conjure up an equally simple reply. Instead she finds herself typing and deleting, over and over, because nothing sounds quite right. There’s this hollow feeling thrumming in her chest, that has only gotten stronger every passing minute since she’d said goodbye to Azzi at the airport. If she tries hard enough, she can still feel the remnants of their last hug lingering against every inch of her skin. She wants to memorize that feeling and create a blanket out of its threads to numb the ice cold shiver that’s been repeatedly running through her veins from the second Azzi had gotten on that plane. But even that might not be enough. Not when she’s learnt just how warm Azzi’s presence can be and how everything else pales in comparison. 

Paige lies to herself that it’s an accidental slip of her fingers, that she’d meant to press send not call, that she had every intention of hanging up the facetime on the first ring itself. 

But then Azzi picks up on the second one.

And really it would be rude to hang up. 

“Hey what’s up?” Azzi’s face fills the screen, tired eyes staring intently at Paige through the screen. 

“Oh um-” Paige fumbles for words, awkwardly shuffling her feet that are dangling off the side of her bed, “I just wanted to ask how your flight was?”

Azzi raises an eyebrow, “you couldn’t have texted me that?”

“Too tired to text,” Paige lies and the words i just wanted to hear your voice stay stuck, burning hot, in her throat, “gotta save these money-making fingers for more important things.”

“Yeah I’m hanging up-”

“NO-” it comes out far more forceful than it should and if possible, Azzi’s eyebrow shoots up even farther, as Paige clears her throat, “I mean- uh- you didn’t tell me how your flight was.”

Paige is too busy cringing at herself to notice the light blush that tinges Azzi’s cheeks. She’s too busy wondering why this girl brings out this nervous bumbling side of hers to notice the fond smile that almost cracks through Azzi’s lips. 

“The flight was okay. I actually got to sleep this time,” Azzi says pointedly and Paige laughs. 

“So what you’re saying is it was boring as hell.”

“I’m saying it was really peaceful not having someone yapping in my ear while I was trying to sleep.”

“So you didn’t miss me?” Paige presses, trying to keep her voice teasing despite how desperately she wants the admission. 

Azzi hesitates, as if she’s debating with herself, before, “I didn’t say that.”

It’s a little ridiculous how large Paige’s grin is but it’s okay, because Azzi’s smiling back, soft and shy. They’d look foolish to anyone else, the way they’re so intently gazing at each other through a screen as if there’s no barrier between them at all. 

“It’s gonna be weird going to the gym without you tomorrow morning,” Paige confesses after a second, moving to lay down on her stomach. 

“I bet. You’re gonna get absolutely nothing done without me,” Azzi teases dramatically before her eyes soften, “it’s weird that I’m not gonna see you at all tomorrow.”

There’s something gut-wrenching about that admission and yet, there’s something in it that heals a part of Paige’s heart that she hadn’t even known needed to be fixed. It means something to her that Azzi must feel it too. Because if she’s honest with herself, Paige had been just a little afraid that maybe the connection was just in her head, that maybe Azzi was simply tolerating her presence out of kindness. 

“You should just move to Minnesota,” Paige replies finally, “much nicer than Virgina or whatever.”

“Have you ever even been to Virginia?” Azzi asks, eyebrows raised as she flips herself to lie on her back, holding her phone above her in a way that lets Paige see entirely too much and yet not nearly enough. 

“No but it sounds boring as fuck.”

“Not with me,” Azzi says, biting her bottom lip sheepishly as soon as the words are out. 

Paige smirks, suddenly filled with a brand new confidence, “yeah? You’d make Virgina interesting for me Fudd? What would we do?”

Azzi licks her lips and Paige feels her mouth go dry. 

“We’d be together,” the younger girl says finally, averting her gaze as the depth of her words begin to make Paige feel like she’s being flooded by an ocean of emotions she’s not quite ready to feel yet, “anything can be interesting if we’re together.”

It would be so easy to come up with a sarcastic quip or tease Azzi for being a sap and yet there’s a certain sincerity in this moment that feels too fragile for Paige to feign nonchalance. 

“Is Virginia nice in the winter?” she asks finally, hands fidgeting with the hair ties secured around her wrist, “Minny’s a little too cold sometimes.”

Azzi’s eyes shine and Paige wants to try and read them, find the little clues hidden in her irises and solve the mystery lingering behind the crimson flush of her cheeks. But the truth is that Paige is a little scared of what she’d find, a little scared that discovering Azzi might mean discovering herself too. 

“You should come find out some time,” the brunette says, casual tone filled with intricacies of something far deeper. It’s the closest they’ve gotten to saying anything of actual substance and they tip-toe around saying what they both want, daring the other to ask first. 

“I dunno,” Paige says, determined to win the game, “I’m not in the habit of showing up to places without a proper invite.”

Azzi scoffs, “a proper invite? Are you expecting someone to send you a carrier pigeon with a gold letter addressed to her royal highness or something?”

“That would be nice,” Paige surmises and Azzi rolls her eyes.

“Does your back ever hurt from carrying that ego?”

“Only hurts from carrying my team.”

“Oh my god you’re so full of it.”

“Full of talent? Yessirrrr.”

Azzi huffs, “Paige.”

“Azzi,” Paige hums. 

“Do you wanna come visit me in Virginia during winter break?” Azzi says finally, a small smile playing on her lips like she’s okay with losing this game as long as it’s to Paige. 

“If I must,” Paige says dramatically, shrugging her shoulders and everything as Azzi lets out an offended squeak. But inside, her heart flutters at the offer, at the idea of seeing Azzi again, even if it feels like a lifetime away. Because as long as it’s Azzi on the other side, Paige and her impatient self can wait however long it takes. 

“Actually you know what nevermind, you don’t gotta come,” Azzi concedes bitterly,  scrunching her face (and Paige would never tell her this but she thinks Azzi looks just a little too cute when she’s mad and so maybe she riles her up on purpose)

“No takesies backsies Az,” Paige sing-songs before her lips uptick from a smirk into something more sincere, “hey Az,” she whispers, giggling to herself when Azzi pretends to ignore her, “I’d really like to come see you in Virginia during winter break.”

And as a brilliant grin dazzles across Azzi’s face, Paige realizes that her favorite thing about Azzi’s smile isn’t when her dimples show or when her eyes twinkle, it’s when it’s there because of Paige, when it’s there just for Paige. 

“Good,” Azzi whispers as they fall into a comfortable silence. 

There’s this serene sense of calm that laces itself around Paige’s nerves. Her normally fidgeting body is content to be perfectly still, an anomaly to her usual demeanor. The truth is that Paige isn’t the kind of person who’s okay with just existing; she likes to spend every second in motion, living out the high. There’s a part of her that’s scared of missing moments, scared that the people around her will leave her behind if she doesn’t chase them. But it’s different with Azzi. The younger girl makes Paige feel like it’s okay if she takes a moment to just breathe. Because Azzi will wait. Because Azzi won’t leave Paige behind. 

“Wait,” it’s a little while before Azzi pipes up, shaking Paige out of her thoughts, “what time is it?”

Paige’s eyes flicker to the time on her phone, confused by the line of questioning, “it’s almost 9 why?”

“Don’t you have a team party or something to go to tonight?” Azzi asks, face scrunching, “I swear you told me you had something tonight.”

“Oh-yeah- Amaya’s back to school thing,” Paige sheepishly scratches her neck, suddenly feeling itchy in her flannel shirt. She’d forgotten she was wearing that instead of her daily clothes. Hell, she’d forgotten she was supposed to be going somewhere in the first place, too occupied with other thoughts. 

“Bro get up,” Azzi orders, “you’re already late.”

“Nah it’s fine. I don’t think I’m gonna go,” Paige says and she thinks she should probably feel a little more guilty about it. 

“What do you mean you’re not gonna go?” Azzi asks in disbelief, “dude you’re the star of the team. You have to go.”

“Amaya will understand besides-” Paige drags in a deep breath, feeling vulnerable as the next words fall out in a quiet whisper, “I don’t wanna hang up yet.”

“Paige c’mon we can talk tomorrow,” Azzi tries to protest but it’s half-hearted at best.

“I wanna talk right now,” Paige argues, “you don’t wanna talk to me?”

For a second Paige thinks Azzi might just say no, might just chip away a little bit of heart with a well-intentioned rejection, but she doesn’t, “always wanna talk to you P.”

“Then don’t hang up. Talk to me.”

And Azzi does. All night. 

Two weeks laters there’s a letter, in an envelope with a picture of a carrier pigeon, that arrives in the Bueckers’ mail box. 

To her royal highness, 

Unfortunately I couldn’t find an actual carrier pigeon (I swear I tried) so this envelope and the mailman will have to do. 

~ You are formally invited this winter break to the Fudd family residence in Virginia. ~

(And you better show up Bueckers)

Yours, 

Azzi

February 2033

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me,” Ice whines petulantly as she makes herself comfortable on the couch across from where Paige is getting her makeup done, “this is parental neglect.”

Paige laughs, eyes closed, her makeup artist does her mascara, “you’ll survive.”

“You don’t know that” Ice argues, plucking a grape from the fruit basket before segueing into a rant about how boring Arlington, Texas is. 

Paige is grateful for the distraction her younger friend is providing. Her nerves had been on edge since the moment she’d woken up this morning, anxious to get the impending farewell press conference over with. She’d already started accepting that the Wings weren’t the right place for her but that feeling had only been heightened by her trip to the Valkyries. And ever since she’s come back, Paige feels a little bit like she’s sleepwalking through her final moments in Dallas. If she’s honest, she’s probably rushing things a little bit. There’s still plenty of time before she really has to move to Oakland but it had been her choice to move there as soon as possible. Paige had always been good at conjuring excuses and she had plenty as to why she needed to be in California so soon. But at the end of the day it isn’t about training or team bonding or any of the other hundred justifications she’s given anyone who’s asked. It’s about a little girl who’s eyes had been brimming with tears when saying goodbye, a little girl who had made Paige pinky swear that she’d be back as soon as possible. 

Really, Paige thinks she should be applauded for her restraint, because truth be told, the second Stephie’s lower lip had trembled, Paige had been prepared to ask Ice to just ship her stuff to Oakland so that she’d never have to let go of the little girl’s hand. 

And here’s the thing, Paige is willing to admit she wants to go back to the Bay Area for Stephie. It’s that pesky little part of her that’s desperate to go back for Stephie’s mother, to go back for one more hesitant yet lingering touch, that she won’t ever share with anyone else. 

“I never thought I’d live to see you and Azzi willingly playing together again,” Ice says as soon as Paige’s makeup artist leaves the room, “KK and I didn’t even try betting on it, we were that sure it wouldn’t happen. Shit I should have. I totally would have won.”

“Don’t y’all get tired of betting on my life?” Paige asks, rolling her eyes, trying to ignore the first part of what Ice said. 

“Betting on your life has made me hundreds of dollars bro,” Ice says, before a more earnest  look crosses her face, “but genuinely P, are you sure about this? There’s a lot of history there.”

Paige sighs, “it’s not about our history. It’s a basketball decision. And we’re both mature adults who know that. I’m just tryna win. Nothing else.”

“It’s never nothing when it comes to you two.”

“It is this time,” Paige argues adamantly and Ice raises her hands in surrender. 

“I just don’t want another set of teammates to have to deal with y’alls bullshit,” the younger girl teases, but it’s laced with a hint of seriousness that sends a flare of guilt shooting through Paige’s body.��

“Ice-” she begins.

But Ice is quick to change to a lighter subject, “can’t believe Jana’s the one that gets mom and dad back together. I always knew she was the favorite.”

“We didn’t have favorites,” Paige plays along, thankful for Ice and her ability to always keep the tension to a bare minimum. 

“Oh don’t lie. We all know you did,” Ice scoffs and then lets out a chuckle, “and now Azzi’s actually a mom. That’s kinda insane. And you met the kid right?”

“Yeah. Yeah I did,” Paige says and she can’t help the way her entire face breaks into a gleaming smile as her thoughts turn into memories of Stephie. She doesn’t even realize she’s gotten lost in a different world until Ice coughs, an amused grin playing on her lips. 

“You’re so royally fucked Paige,” Ice shakes her head, “the only person I’ve seen you smile that big for before is Azzi.”

“She’s a cute, smart, adorable kid, that’s why I’m smiling,” Paige tries to defend herself. 

“She’s Azzi’s cute, smart, adorable kid,” Ice counters. 

“That has nothing to do with it,” Paige protests again but it rings hollow to her own ears.

“Oh my god I needa call KK and get this bet started. It’s only a matter of time for real,” Ice says, more to herself than to Paige, as she whips out her phone, probably texting KK. 

“A matter of time till what?”

“You’ll find out Paigey,” Ice says gravely with a mocking smile, patting Paige’s head, “all in due time.”

***

The Dallas Wings media room is buzzing, reporters desperate to ask Paige questions and the blonde tries to maintain a smile despite the fact that her heart is lurching in her throat right now. Her opening speech had been short and sweet, parroting basically the same thing that had gone out on her social media the night before; she’d been desperate to just get it out. Generally, Paige is pretty good with the media, having been immersed in the spotlight since basically forever. The attention and how to maneuver it has always come naturally to her so she’s not sure why she feels so unnerved by it all today.  From the back of the media room, Ice sends her a thumbs up and a reassuring grin and Paige lets out a breath, glad to have at least that comforting presence with her. 

“Aidrian Ginsburger with Bleacher Report, Paige, you’ve obviously spent all of your career so far with the Wings, can you tell us a little bit about the impact this organization has had on you?”

Paige smiles at the question, letting her brain skim through pages and pages of fond memories she has of time spent with this team. It might be time to move on but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have plenty of cherished moments. 

“Yeah um- this place has really shaped who I am as a person. Since day one, the front office, obviously it’s a different one to the one I came in with, they did a lot to make sure that I was comfortable. My teammates through the years have been incredible and I wouldn’t be the player I am today without them. And of course the fans you know, they always showed out for the team, for me. Always supported me in anyways and I hope that I was able to give back the love to them that they always gave to me,” she says, suddenly nostalgic for the team that had started it all. 

The next questions are similar in nature and Paige’s answer varies only in words but not substance. She feels herself start to settle into it, now fielding the expected questions about the Wings and Valkyries with an air of confidence. There are a couple questions about Azzi that make her heart thump, but that was to be expected. It’s a pretty brilliant story in the making, two MVPs who used to play on the same college team coming together. Talia had warned Paige in advance that there was no avoiding it. But for the most part the questions have an easy answer about how Azzi’s a brilliant player and she’s excited to play with her old friend again. That is until a familiar hand shoots up and all the tension that had previously dissipated, comes roaring back with a vengeance. 

“Olivia Reynolds with the Dallas Morning News, Paige, as others have said today, you and Azzi Fudd played together at UConn and you were best friends.” Olivia’s eyes glint viciously, “I mean it’s pretty well documented how hard you tried to recruit her to UConn. But despite being best friends, the two of you have been never seen hanging out, outside of games and formal events, unlike your other teammates that is-”

“Is there a point to this?” Paige asks, hands fisting in her lap as she tries to keep herself calm. 

Olivia smiles, sugary sweet, “I was just wondering if maybe there was some tension and how that would affect your on-court chemistry at the Valkyries?”

“There’s no tension,” Paige lies through gritted teeth, “we didn’t hang out because we live far apart. There isn’t much else to it. And even if there was, Azzi and I are professionals. We wouldn’t let anything off the court affect our goal to win.”

“You lived far apart before UConn too, but that didn’t seem to stop you guys. What changed?” Olivia presses.

“Time did. Our lives did. There’s nothing sensational here. It’s just a case of two people drifting apart,” Paige says and the fabrication feels heavy on her tongue. If only it really had been that simple. 

“But clearly not that much,” Olivia says, and Paige glances at the moderator, desperate for an intervention, “there were plenty of fan pictures of the two of you out getting ice cream with Azzi’s daughter. It seems like you’re already fitting into that Bay Area life-”

“I’m not hearing a question at the end of your sentence,” Paige hisses and she can practically already hear the scolding she’s going to get from Talia once her agent gets wind of how this press conference had gone. The entire media cohort is watching the exchange with wide eyes, no doubt questioning whether they were embarrassed or impressed by their colleague. Ice is mouthing something to Paige, probably something along the lines of please keep your shit together, but Paige is steaming. Really, she should have expected this. 

“Well if you’d let me finish,” Olivia snarls, the façade of innocence dropping, “even if the two of you have drifted, as you put it, clearly there’s still a relationship there. How big of a role did Azzi Fudd play in your choice to move to the Valkyries?”

Paige sucks in a deep breath, nails digging into her palm at the question, “Azzi is the best shooting guard in the country. That was her role in my decision to move to the Valkyries. I don’t know what else you’re trying to imply, but I want to play with her because we play well together. That’s it,” she stands up and there’s pin drop silence, “thank you all for coming but we’re done with this press conference. 

***

Paige is seething as she exits the media room, Ice hot on her heels trying to calm her down. The sane part of her knows she should head back to the makeup room or even to her car, instead she finds her feet carrying her in the direction of where she knows Olivia Reynolds will be, reviewing her press conference notes by the coffee machine like she always is. 

“What the actual fuck was that?” Paige spits as she comes to a halt in front of the reporter. 

“I know you think playing basketball is the only job in the world Paige, but that was a reporter doing her job,” Olivia says, her calm and composed voice only furthering Paige’s irritation. 

“Bull-fucking-shit.” Paige sneers, “that wasn’t a reporter out there, that was my ex-wife grilling me like we were back in fucking divorce court.”

Olivia cocks her head, “oh so you do remember who I am to you then?”

“Oliv-”

“Because if you did remember, I’d like to think you’d have the courtesy to at least personally tell me that you were moving to your,” she drops her voice, “ex-girlfriend’s team instead of letting me find out with the rest of the world. You don’t think you owed me that?”

“That’s what this is about?” Paige sighs, “Olivia we’ve been divorced for almost three years now, I don’t owe you-”

“You didn’t owe Azzi anything either,” Olivia whisper-yells, the calm in her voice replaced by the same anger that had tainted the last year of their marriage, “but when we first started dating, you kept us a secret for months. You wouldn’t even tell your fucking teammates cause you were so scared she’d find out,” her eyes drift towards Ice who looks like she wishes she’d made a different decision rather than following Paige out here, “you said she deserved to hear it from you but apparently I don’t-’

“I didn’t mean it like that Olivia. Look, I meant what I said up there. There’s nothing between- ”

“Spare me,” Olivia says, as she stuffs her notepad into her bag, “you can lie to all those other reporters out there about how all of this is a basketball decision. You can even lie to yourself if you want. But you can’t lie to me, not when I spent four years fighting to keep our relationship from getting crushed under whatever it is that Azzi is to you.”

***

It doesn’t matter how far Paige burrows her head into her pillows, she can’t seem to stop herself from hearing Olivia’s words reverberating through her ears. The two of them had done well at co-existing in their social circles after the divorce had been finalized. While no one could quite call them friends, they’d done a good job at being friendly, being able to converse and share an occasional drink when in their combined friend group. And if Paige is honest, she knows she’s fucked up, knows she probably did owe Olivia a call. But calling Olivia would have meant calling someone who would inevitably make Paige face the truth, just like she had today. The truth that, even with the deal Talia had concocted with the Liberty hanging in the background like a dark presence, the move to the Valkyries was about a lot more than just basketball for Paige. 

She’s so entrenched in her thought that she doesn’t bother checking who it is when the facetime rings, irritation seeping into her voice as she answers it, face still buried in her pillows, “WHAT?”

“Miss Buecks?” a tiny voice comes through the phone and for a second, Paige thinks she must be dreaming, until she finally lifts her head to look at her phone, and Stephie’s small face lights up the whole screen. And it’s like she can feel little hands on her shoulders, slowly unknotting her tightened muscles. 

“Stephie,” she breathes out, a sudden sense of serene calm washing over her previously tense body. 

“Hi Miss Buecks,” Stephie says happily before she squints at the screen, “you sleep weird.”

Paige laughs, “and why’s that?”

“You’re not wearing pajamas and it’s only seven. ‘Dults don’t sleep at seven,” Stephie says matter-of-factly. 

“It’s actually nine here,” Paige says, a little surprised by the time; she hadn’t realized she'd been moping in her bed for that long. Ice had forced her to get lunch together, not wanting to leave Paige alone after the encounter with Olivia. Once she’d finally gotten back to her apartment, Paige had flopped on her bed, taking out her frustrations on her poor pillow. 

“That’s not poss-ble,” Stephie scrunches her face, “Mama’s phone says it’s seven.”

“It’s seven in California, it’s nine in Texas,” Paige tries to explain though by the way Stephie’s looking at her, she thinks she’s probably just confusing the girl more, “how’d you figure out how to call me babe?”

Stephie gives her an exasperated look, “Miss Buecks I’m five. I know how to use facetime.”

“And does your Mama know you're facetiming me?” Paige asks, eyebrows raised.

“She’s in the shower,” Stephie whispers, grinning sheepishly. 

As if on cue, Azzi appears on the corner of the screen and Paige feels her mouth run dry. The darker skinned woman is clad in a light pink fluffy bathrobe that ends right above her knees, giving Paige the perfect view of her long, toned legs that seem to shimmer despite the shitty quality of the facetime. Rivulets of water cling to her neck, delicately cascading down the valley of her breasts before disappearing from sight. And Paige must be dehydrated because never has she wanted to taste a drop of liquid more than she does right now. 

“Stephie,” Azzi groans, as she walks towards the phone and Paige gulps, heart beating faster with every step the other woman takes, everything about her becoming clearer and clearer, “what did I say about using my phone.”

“Only in em-a-gencies,” Stephie recites, “but Mama I had an em-a-gency.”

Azzi tilts her head, eyebrows raised as she gives her daughter a knowing look, “and what was your emergency?”

“I really, really, really, this much” Stephie stretches out her hands as far as they’ll go,  really, really, really, miss Miss Buecks.”

Paige feels her heart flutter. Stephie’s words feel like a hand carefully pulling her out from under the pile of stress she’d been buried under the whole day. It’s like the little girl is pushing away the rubble pressing against her lungs, turning the rocks into dust with a light touch and Paige feels like she can finally breathe. 

“Sounds like a pretty big emergency to me,” she says, relishing the way Stephie’s face lights up at the admission, “cause I really, really, really miss you too Steph.”

“See Mama,” Stephie says, placing the phone against a wall so can place her hands on her hips and look up at Azzi with a pleased smirk. 

Azzi rolls her eyes before glaring at Paige, “you’re a bad influence on her.”

“I’m the best influence on her,” Paige argues, sending Stephie a conspiratorial wink, “just you wait Az, I’mma teach her all the good things.”

Something unreadable flashes across Azzi’s face before she’s back to looking at Paige with an unimpressed arched eyebrow, “I am not letting you corrupt my daughter Paige Bueckers.”

“We’ll see,” Paige says slowly and Azzi shakes her head before turning to Stephie. 

“Alright Stephie bean time to go brush your teeth. It’s almost bedtime babes,” she says with a stern look 

“But Mama-”

“No arguing, you have school tomorrow missy,” Azzi reminds the little girl and Paige can’t help but marvel at the mother that Azzi’s become. And it makes her heart ache for the fantasies she’d dreamed of when she was in her early twenties. She’d always known Azzi would be a great mother; Paige had just naively thought she’d be there alongside her too. 

“Can Miss Buecks stay on the phone till I fall asleep?” Stephie asks, peering up at Azzi with big doe eyes, “please Mama pleeeease.”

“I’m sure Miss Buecks has other things-”

“I don’t,” Paige cuts in far too enthusiastically, clearing her throat to get back some semblance of restraint as both mother and daughter turn to look at each other, “I don’t have anything to do tonight so I can stay till you fall asleep Stephie.”

“YAYY,” Stephie cheers enthusiastically while Azzi studies her with a weary look, “I’m gonna go brush my teeth and then you can read me, my story Mama.”

With that, the little girl runs in the direction of what Paige can only assume is the bathroom, skipping with childlike joy as she sing-songs about something Paige can’t quite make out. 

“You know you don’t have to say yes to everything she asks right?” Azzi says slowly as she grabs her phone and sits on the couch. 

Paige shrugs, “I have time to stay.”

“Do you?” Azzi asks skeptically, “because from what I heard the Wings are having a little farewell party tonight, for you.”

Paige narrows her eyes, “and how exactly did you hear that?”

“I have connections.”

“You talked to Ice.”

“I talked to Ice,” Azzi concedes, “and I’m pretty sure you’re already an hour or so late for it.”

“Exactly. I’m already an hour late so why bother,” Paige says, sitting up so she can rest head against her headboard, “why were you talking to Ice?”

“I can’t talk to my friend?” Azzi asks slowly. 

“Of course you can but why specifically today?” Paige presses 

Azzi bites her lip, “I um- I watched your press conference today. You uh-” she averts her gaze, “you seemed really stressed at the end and I wanted to make sure you were okay.”

A soft grin upturns Paige’s lips before she can stop it, “were you worried for me Fudd?”

“That’s not-” Azzi groans, “shut up.”

Paige smirks, “you were worried for me.”

“I was concerned for my future teammate," Azzi huffs, “besides,” her face hardens, “she was way out of line.”

Paige sighs at the implied mention of Olivia, “maybe but maybe I deserved it.”

“No you didn’t,” Azzi protests and that oh so familiar protective tone in her voice carves itself into every crevice of Paige’s heart, “no one deserves to be put on the spot like that. She was being unethical trying to dig into your personal life like that.”

“This is nice,” Paige says softly, unable to help herself. 

“What is?” 

“Seeing you get all defensive over me. It's nice to see you still care. I didn’t know if you still did.”

Azzi’s quiet for a second, gnawing at her bottom lip as she looks at Paige, “I’ve always cared Paige. And-” she hesitates as the tightrope beneath them wavers, “I’m always gonna care.”

There’s years worth of unsaid words lingering in the silence between them as they breach some unspoken rule they’d both inadvertently agreed to. And they both know that they shouldn’t be saying things like this to each other, that they’re teetering on the edge of falling into an abyss that has nothing but destruction at the bottom. But Azzi’s words feel like sunshine, like heat waves across her skin and Paige is so tired of feeling cold. 

Before either of them can say another word, Stephie comes back into the room, crawling into Azzi’s lap.

“I’m back,” she beams, completely unaware of the way the two adults are scrambling to act normal around her. 

“Here baby,” Azzi hands the phone to Stephie, “take Miss Buecks to your room. Mama’s gonna go change and then she’ll come read to you okay?”

“‘Kay Mama,” Stephie complies, pressing a soft kiss to Azzi’s cheek before running towards her room. For a second Paige’s screen is blurred in motion until Stephie fixes her again and Paige catches a glimpse of Stephie’s room, specifically the walls that are painted the perfect shade of Valkyrie purple. 

“I love your walls Stephie,” she compliments.

“They’re pu-ple,” Stephie exclaims, “that’s my favorite color.”

“First the ice-cream, now the color, you’re stealing all of my favorites kid,” Paige teases but she’s secretly pleased by this revelation. It’s dangerous how fast Stephie’s starting to whittle down Paige’s walls and build herself a permanent shelf in Paige’s cabinet of my people. 

“Can I tell you a secret Miss Buecks,” Stephie whispers, bringing her lips closer to the phone. 

Paige smiles, “of course you can.”

“I think Mama misses you too,” Stephie says softly and Paige feels her heart catch in her throat, “I heard her tell Nanna on the phone.”

“Can I tell you a secret Stephie?” Paige lowers her voice, leaning into her phone. 

“‘Course you can Miss Buecks.”

Paige swallows as the admission falls from her lips, “I really miss your Mama too.”

I miss her always and I think I’ll miss her forever. 

“What are you the two of you whispering about,” Azzi’s voice cuts in as she tucks herself next to Stephie, a children’s book in her hand. 

“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says immediately, winking at Paige through the phone. 

“Yeah,” Paige echoes, ignoring her erratic heartbeat, “nothing Azzi.”

Azzi looks between the both of them, clearly aware she’s being left out of something, but doesn’t push further. Instead she flips open the book, pulls Stephie closer into her arms and starts reading. If anyone were to ask Paige later, she wouldn’t have the faintest idea about a single word in that damn book. Because as Azzi’s soothing voice begins to lull Stephie to sleep, and the younger girl, despite her yawns, holds the phone up so the blonde can be included in every second of it, Paige feels herself being pulled into a dream she has no right to dream. She dreams of being in Stephie’s purple bedroom. She dreams of her and Azzi lying against Stephie’s lilac bedspread, their hands entwined in the middle over Stephie’s little body. She dreams of a forever that she’d long forsaken.

[glassartpeasants]

All The Things He Said

Eustass Kid x F!Reader

Warnings: Angst, reader got them mommy issues, Kid being a massive asshole, edited best to small brain abilities

A/N: Smaller text is the strawhats talking. Didn't have enough colors to separate them all equally. This is based off an ask but I accidentally deleted it. I feel like I kinda dropped the ball on this one but idk

~~~

It was much too quiet on the Victoria Punk. No yelling, talking, or sounds of footsteps, even. A pin dropping could sound like an explosion, with how quiet it was. The silence left a thick feeling of unease in your stomach, making you finally decide to leave your room.

Jumping out of bed, you stretch before putting on some clothes. Taking a step into the hallway, a gust of cold air hits you like a sack of bricks. It bit at your skin and left you shivering. Turning around, you grab the blanket that covered you and Kid’s shared bed. While it was huge, the fact it smelled like your lover made it worth the hassle to carry around.

Walking through the halls, the feeling of unease only grew in your stomach. The silence that covered the ship made your heart race. You were docked at an island, so everyone could be grabbing supplies or raiding, but they usually invite you.

Simply deciding to shrug it off, you walk towards Kid’s workshop to see if he is there. You haven’t seen him yet, and it was always a good morning when you got to see his cute, grumpy face. Knocking on the workshop door, you gently open it and see Kid working on his metal limb.

“There you are, baby! I was wondering where you were!” You got to put your arms around him, only for him to shrug you off. Shocked, you place your hand on his arm gently, trying to get him to pay attention to you. Only for him to throw off your hand as well.

“Kid? What’s wrong?” Kid didn’t even look at you when he responded.

“Fuck off, your annoying.” Your mouth turned agape at his words. What had you done to be talked to like this?

“Excuse me? What did you just say to me?” This time, Kid stops and turns to look at you. A different type of rage in his eyes.

“You fucking heard me. Go be a nuisance somewhere else!” A scowl appeared on your face hearing him. No way would you allow him to talk to you like this.

“Who do you think you are speaking to me like this? You may be my boyfriend, but there’s no way in hell I’m going to allow myself to be spoken to like this.” Crossing your arms, you only stared him down. Even when he stood up, towering over you, you still refused to back down.

“I think I’m your fucking Captain!”

“Oh so your Captain now instead of my boyfriend?”

“I’m not going to be a whore’s boyfriend.” Kid’s words made your heart stop, and your eyes widen.

“What? What did you just call me?”

“I called you a fucking whore. Are you too stupid to understand that?!”

“I understand what the damn word means! What I’m saying is, why the hell you would call me that!”

“You think I’m stupid?! I caught you all up on that man yesterday! Fukcing sucking on his damn face!” What on earth was he talking about? You were Hip all day yesterday! Both of you shopping at the plaza on the island! You even showed him an outfit you bought! Where was he getting all this false information?

“I was Hip all day yesterday! You can even ask her! Besides, what would I gain from that?! I love you! The only man I want is you, and the only crew I’d ever fight alongside with is yours!” A snarky laugh left Kid’s lips hearing your last words.

“Fight?! You don’t do shit! Me and Killer always have to save your dumbass cause your too useless to do shit yourself!” A silence fell over the two of you. You can feel your lips tremble and your words dying in your throat.

“I don’t even know why I’m with someone so useless! There are plenty of other whore’s on this island who have more talent than you!” His words felt like knives carving into your skin with every word. They were so filled with hate that you couldn’t be around him anymore. Turning around, you walk towards the door, trying to ignore his hurtful words.

“Oh yeah! Go on and walk away! That’s all your good at!” You heard him slamming the door behind you, and only then did you allow the tears to flow.

How could he say such things? He said words that he knew would hurt you. The cruelty of it was unbelievable. You knew he could be mean, but this was insane! The horrific incident made hot tears pour down fast along your cheeks. Is that how he truly felt? Did he really think you were useless this entire time you’ve been with him? Is that how everyone else on the Victoria Punk thought as well?

When you made it to your and Kid’s shared bedroom, you thought to yourself. Why would you stay with a man who could call you such words without a shred of proof and guilt?  Why be with a man who thinks you're lying no matter what you say? You already dealt with enough treatment like that before you met him. How could he let you leave all you knew behind just to leave you on with lies and false promises? Make you come with him to sail the sea, only for him to turn around and show his true colors? You knew people said he was a cruel man, but you never thought you’d see how cruel he was for yourself.

Grabbing the door handle, you knew that this wasn’t the life you were promised. Wasn’t the life you were meant for? You’ve always dreamed of leaving your island and exploring the world! But for that to happen, you had to be strong and let mean comments slide off your back if you wanted to be a pirate. But Kid was right. You were useless, so it would have never worked out in the end, regardless.

“Mom was right…dreams are for children.” With shaky hands, you begin to gather your belongings. Maybe going back home would have a better life for you planned out.

The sound of your mother yelling seemed to ring everywhere along the house as she screamed at you. Her face filled with rage as she stared at you with crazed eyes.

“I ask you to do one thing, and you can’t even do that?! How could I have had a daughter so useless that she can’t even make soup?!” Her demeaning words made you feel smaller than an atom.

“I’m sorry mommy. I couldn’t reach the pot to stir-”

“Your eight years old! When I was your age, I made my own food! My parents didn’t help me at all! How could you be so stupid!” Little hiccups escape from your mouth as you try to fight back tears.

“I’m s-sorry.” Your mother scoffed at your tears.

“God, I’m getting pissed off just looking at you. Get out of my sight.” Without another word, you start climbing up the stairs, your small hands struggling to grip the railing.

“Useless child.”

~~~

The moon was the only source of light as the crew of the Victoria Punk finally. After a full day of drunk laughter and raided goods, everyone was ready to call it a night. Yet, as soon as they boarded the Victoria, a feeling of dread filled everyone's senses.

Making the first move, Killer made his way to Kid’s workshop. Since you didn’t join the rest of the crew today, he suspected that you’d be with Kid. But to his surprise, when he opened the door, he only saw Kid working on a piece of metal.

“Oh (Y/N)’s not in here with you?” The sheer mention of your name seemed to spark hatred inside of Kid.

“No, she’s probably out fucking other men.” Killer’s eyes widen behind his mask. 

“What? What the hell are you talking about?”

“I caught her making out with another guy yesterday! That’s what I’m talking about!”

“She should have been with Hip yesterday. Are you sure that you didn’t see someone that looked like her?”

“Same clothes she wore that day! The same way she wore her hair and the same hair color!”

“Did you see her face?”

“No, she was too busy sucking that dipshits face.” There was something not right about the situation he walked into. In all the time he’s known you, the only man you made eyes to was Kid. The only man you let hug you was Kid. Everything was only for Kid. It just didn’t make sense for you to cheat.

“Did you talk to her about it?”

“We fought, and she walked away 'cause she couldn’t handle being faced with her actions.”

“What happened after that?”

“Don’t know, don’t care. I said my peace, and I’ve been in here ever since.” Something still didn’t seem right, so Killer thought it’d be best to find you and hear your side of the story. He knew Kid was act first, think later, which was the main cause of almost all your fights. Only after Kid calms down is when he see’s rationality. Even now, he still seems so pissed. It’d be best to find you sooner than later.

“Alright.” Closing the door, Killer made his way to your and Kid’s shared room. Normally after fights, he could find you in there. Kid would sleep in his workshop, and you’d sleep in the bed is how it usually was when a fight happened.

Knocking on the door, he’s only met with silence.

“(Y/N)? You in there?” Still silence.

“(Y/N)?” Carefully opening the door, Killer’s met with a half-empty room. No sign that you ever lived there in the first place. No misplaced shirt or sock, nothing. Closing the door, he went to your original room, and once again, no sign you ever lived on the Victoria Punk. The fight must have been much bigger than he thought.

If you weren’t on the ship, then where were you?

~~~

You couldn’t eat anything, no matter how hungry you were. Everything you tried to choke down always came right back up from crying so hard. The tears felt like battery acid against your skin, and it drove you mad. How can you cry over him after what he said? Telling you things that he knew would hurt you. Maybe you were a fool for falling in love like your mother said.

“Mom? Can I ask you for advice?” Standing in front of your mother, you feel her eyes pierce her soul.

“What? Can’t you see I'm busy?” The only thing next to her was a pack of cigarettes and a shell phone. Waiting for her ‘friends’ to call her.

“Well, I fell in love with this-” Your mother's laughter interrupted you before you could finish.

“Only fools fall in love! Is that what you are (Y/N)? A fool?”

“No! That’s not true!” A scowl appeared on your mother's face as she stood up quickly.

“Of course it is! Love is a waste of time! Love is for the pathetic worms like yourself! You think anyone's gonna love you? You’ve got nothing worth wild!” Tears start to slip from your eyes as you try to ignore your mother's words.

“Stop! It’s not a waste of time! Everyone has a chance at love! That’s what grandma says…” Your mother grabbed your wrist and brought you closer to her. 

“Grandma married an abusive drunk! She doesn’t know the first thing about love! All you are is a useless little girl who’s following dumb dreams!” Ripping your hand from your mother's grip, you start walking away. 

“Being a whore is the only way a man will ‘love’ you.” Her last words made you run to your room with tears flying off your face. Her words echo in your head no matter how hard you try to ignore them. Your mirror shook when you slammed your bedroom door shut. The vibrations had you look at yourself in the mirror.

A painful itch in your mind emerged as you started to wonder if you always looked like that.

~~~

Laying in the hotel bed, you stare at the ceiling as the memory ends as soon as it starts. The memories of your childhood started playing ever since you left the Victoria Punk. You didn’t realize that you never thought about the past when you were with Kid, but now that you were lying here alone in the dark, it was all you could think about. Knowing that now only made you angry. Without Kid, you couldn’t even think a positive thought? How could you let yourself depend on him so hard? Your mother would be ashamed if she saw you.

If she wasn’t already.

She wasn’t thrilled when you ran off to be a pirate with Kid. Screaming and yelling words that you couldn’t make out. If she had a boat, she’d probably would have come after you. A sight to see truly. But now that you made plans to go home, what would she do when you showed up back at her door? 

In 2 days, you’d be making your way back down to the south blue. You were from an island and known for their spices that you could only get on the island. That and the lack of protection from the world government. Many pirates hit the shores of your island, demanding the spices that were worth so much to be eaten by sea kings the second they leave the island. One of the cons to the spices was that it was a natural sea king attracter. It was always so gratifying to see asshole pirates get eaten,

But then Kid came along.

He was brand new to the pirate scene, but by god, he was making a name for himself fast. His bounty raises every new newspaper. It was exhilarating to see such action coming from your part of the sea. Even if it wasn’t the greatest type of action.

The moment a woman started yelling about pirates, you went to see who it could be. You loved to get a closer look at life on the sea. At least the decent ones you did. But you can remember the moment you caught Kid’s eyes.

Hiding behind a tree in the woods was the perfect cover to spy on the pirates that you heard just docked. The hiding spot never failed you before, so why would it now? A gruff voice caught your attention. Looking at the source, you feel your heart skip a beat. 

There he was. Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid.

His red hair seemed to shine in the sun, and it looked softer than silk. His skin was kissed with beautiful freckles. The way he carried himself among his crew made you continue to look at him in awe. You’ve never met a man so breathtaking. There was something about him. You’ve heard the stories behind him. How the devil could be beautiful. Too much in awe, you failed to hear the conversation between the captain and his first mate.

“After we raid this lame town, we’ve only got a few more islands then we’re off to Sabaody.”

“Hmm…”

“What?”

“It seems we’re being watched.” Pointing to the woods, the masked man shows his captain a figure behind a tree.

“Go ahead, Killer. I’ll take care of it.” Nodding, the man leaves. Turning back to the woods, Kid uses his devil fruit powers to see if he can’t just bring the figure to him. 

The moment his gaze locked yours, you feel your face burn. His eyes were like a memorizing fire that you couldn’t look away from. Only when your ring starts vibrating is when you realize you’ve been truly caught.

“Oh no-” Pulled forward, you go crashing into the captain’s grip. His frame towered over you as he looked down at you. You couldn’t help but continue to admire him.

“Care to tell me why your spying on me, woman?” Not fully registering his question and thinking out loud, you respond.

“Your even prettier up close.”After the words left your lips. You slam your free hand over your mouth and look at him with wide eyes. Admitting that you found a ruthless pirate pretty to his face might be the best way to be put 6 feet under. His silence only made you panic more.

“I m-mean, hey can I get you a drink? There’s a good bar in town!” Kid laughed at your stumbling as he brought your rings closer to his face. It wasn’t the prettiest, but it was still worth some berri’s.

“How about you give me this ring instead? Looks like I could get a good amount of berri’s for it.”

“Oh yeah, sure! Here!” Kid lets your arm down but keeps a firm grip on your wrist. Taking off the ring, you place it in his hand. His smirk made butterflies rumble in your tummy.

“Now show me that bar you were speaking of. Need some booze for the trip.

“Of course!” Your willingness to please him made him conjure up thoughts that are less than innocent. If you were so excited to please him, maybe you’d be a good fuck. Been a minute since he’s had sex. Plus, if his eyes were still working, that was a wedding ring he stole from your dainty little hand. Fucking a married woman could be an experience.

“What’s your husband gonna think when he sees that his little wife no longer has her ring?”

“I’m not married! Not yet, at least.”

“Yet?”

“My mom sold me off to marry a rich man’s son so she could stop living in poverty and pay back her debts to the bank.” Instead of the chipper tone you held only moments ago, your voice filled with sadness.

“Thought that shit was only for princesses and princes. Have you seen the bastard?”

“Unfortunately.”

“Oh, is he ugly? Shitty luck for you, huh?” Kid’s laughter made the situation feel a bit better. It’s shocking you become so obsessed with a man you just met. But you wouldn’t trade the feeling for anything. This simple jolt of joy was something you wished would never end.

“I can help you carry your booze to your ship! I can also get a good amount of spices that won’t attract the sea kings!” your words seemed to pique Kid’s interest. 

“Is that so? Tell me more about these spices. And leave nothing out, got it?”

“Sure thing, captain!”

The memory only made rage flood through your veins. Rage on how you could have been so desperate. How willing you were to commit a crime and please the most dangerous new-gen pirate at the time. God, you probably sounded so pathetic. If you could go back in time to tell yourself that you were acting stupid, you would.

His baseless accusations were appalling even still thinking aboutit. He never even heard your side! Just assuming the worst of you was his first thought? It hurt so much to think about. You always gave him the benefit of the doubt, so why couldn’t he do the same to you?

~~~

Killer searched all around the town for you, yet he still couldn’t find you. The lack of success started to frustrate him as he walked back to the Victoria. 

It’s been a full day since you’ve disappeared. Worry that something happened to you started to settle within the other crew members. Heat and Hip offered to check out the small forested area of the island. Wire said he’d search the port more and keep an eye out in case you forgot something and came back to grab it.

The whole situation still didn’t make sense to Killer, no matter how hard he thought about it. It made no sense to anyone on the crew. He didn’t dare ask Kid any more questions since it was obvious he was still overwhelmed with rage.

No matter what Kid said he saw, there was just no way in hell you had cheated on him. From the first time Killer had seen you, he could see the lovestruck look you had in your eyes when you stared at Kid. Years later and you still look at him like that! Cheating wasn’t something you’d do. No way in hell.

Kid’s immediate reaction, while it shouldn’t have shocked Killer, did. He recalled when Kid took you on the team without even seeing how you fought or if you could even fight. He’s never seen him do anything like that before and since. Killer saw how lovesick Kid became only weeks after you joined. Kid would tell him how proud he was when you were getting better at fighting. Or how he loved being the one to protect you.

No matter what, Killer had to find you. The aftermath is something that Killer knew would lead to flames.

~~~

Using the new clothes you bought and wearing a mask, you managed to sneak into a salon to get a haircut. Changing your appearance slightly would allow you to go outside without the worry of being recognized. It also gives you a breath of fresh air. A new look for a new chapter of your life. The chapter of your time with Kid was coming to a close. It hurt as you’ve never been happier than when you were with them. But who knows, maybe you’ll be even happier somewhere else. Only time will tell.

Your and Kid’s shared laughter echoed in your ears as you both ran to the Victoria Punk. Well, he ran as he carried you on his shoulder. One hand full of raided goods and the other holding your legs. Both your hands filled with spices as you watch your mother and supposed to be future groom chase after you.

“Damnit, pirate! Give me back my wife!”

“Don’t you dare take her! She’s my key to getting out of this shitty place!” Their words sounded like babble compared to the sound of your and Kid’s laughter.

“No can do losers! I take what I want!” Hearing Kid say those final words made your heart explode. He actually wanted you! Your face felt like it was on fire as his smell overwhelmed your senses.

Something inside you told you, you were meant to be his. That even though you’ve only known him for a day, he managed to make your heart beat like never before. His voice made your legs jelly, and his sheer strength had you staring at him like he was the greatest thing you’ve ever seen. Everything about him had you in awe.

You weren’t even out to sea, but this is the happiest you’ve ever been! If simply meeting him made you feel so much joy, how could it be when you’d get to see him every day? It’d be a dream you hope you’d never wake up from.

“How does this look, miss?” The hairdresser turned you towards the mirror.

“It looks great! Do you have time for a color?”

“Actually, yes! Let me go get the color swatches.”

~~~

“No sign of her Killer. We checked everywhere.” Heat’s words only caused dread to fill Killer. Everyone’s looked top to bottom, and not even a trace of your existence has been found.

“You don’t think she’s already gone, do you?”

“Don’t say shit like that. Just…she’s here. No way she could’ve already docked a different boat.” Just then, a familiar-looking outfit caught Killer’s eye. Same hair color and length. Not wanting to lose you to the crowd, Killer runs up to you.

“(Y/N)! Where have you been?! We’ve been looking everywhere-”

“Hmm?” Killer stops in his tracks when you turn to look at him. But it wasn’t you. The person before him had a completely different face. He thought it was you! How could someone look so similar?-

“Did you see her face?”

“No, she was too busy sucking that dipshits face!”

“Oh no.” Looking down at the woman, all the pieces started coming together in his mind.

“Heat! Go grab Kid!”

“Okay?” Heat’s footsteps leave Killer’s earshot quickly. Turning his attention to the woman, he could see her nervousness.

“Listen, I know this is weird, but I need to borrow you for a second. You looked like my friend's girlfriend from behind, and he thought she cheated. I just need him to see your face. I promise I’ll pay you. All you need to do is just stay right there.” Confusion appeared on the woman’s face before a frown as she crossed her arms.

“Damn pirates. Always assuming the worst in people. I’ll do it, but I have one condition.”

“Condition?”

“Yeah, condition! I’d like to have a few words with your friend as it’s obvious he’s a fucking idiot if he can’t even talk to his girlfriend like a reasonable adult. And the pay better be nice.” The woman stood her ground as she grumbled out the last part. Killer wouldn’t blame her for not wanting to be a part of a pirate's relationship problems. While on the one hand, he knew that letting her say some choice words for Kid could end badly on her end. Maybe it’ll give him the punch in the head to realize his mistake.

“Alright, Killer, I got him.” Kid’s grumpy face and heavy footsteps didn’t go unnoticed by the woman, as he could see her body tense.

“What the fuck do you want?”

“It wasn’t (Y/N) you saw 3 days ago. It was her. She looks the same if looked at from behind.” Killer motions the girl to turn around, and she does with a huff before turning back around.

“Where were you three days ago?”

“I was out on the town with my fiance. We went shopping before going to eat at the ice cream shop over there.”

“Rough guess on time?”

“2:30pm to 3pm. Are we done with the questions now?”

“Yeah, thanks.” Killer can still see the woman standing in front of Kid with a scowl on her face. Guess she was serious about giving him a few choice words.

“(Y/N) would have been with Hip at that time three days ago.” Looking at Kid, Killer could see the gears turning in his head before his face went pale.

“We’ve searched the entire place, and there's no trace of (Y/N).”

“No one’s seen her either.”

“Well, look again, damnit!” Killer could hear the panic in Kid’s voice as he spoke. His eyes darting in every direction to try and find you. Heat and Killer’s eye exchange looks of worry seeing the state of frenzy their captain was sinking into.

“Your acting like she’d want to go back to you.” Kid’s eyes snapped to the woman who looked at him with disdain. The air turned tense as Kid’s rage felt suffocating to be near, but the woman didn’t back down.

“What the fuck did you just say?!”

“You got sand in your ears? I said that your acting like she’d even want to go back to you. Your stupid to think so.” Turning to Killer, the woman held out her hand for her payment. Without saying a word to Kid, Killer hands the woman money, and she makes her escape. Kid just stands there frozen for a few seconds before coming back to. 

“Don’t just stand there! Find her!”

~~~

“(Y/N) was it?”

“Yeah. Never thought I’d see a Strawhat here. Let alone a hopelessly lost one.”

“I’m not lost. I’m simply…enjoying the scenery?”

“Yeah, okay, swordsman.”

“Zoro.”

“Well, Zoro. What’s a strawhat doing here?”

“Beats me. What’s a Kid pirate doing here? More or less screaming and cussing out their captain in the middle of the woods while surrounded by their belongings?”

“Ex-Kid pirate. And let’s just say Eustass Kid lives up to the ‘most cruel new gen pirate’ allegations.”

You remembered the green-haired swordsman from Sabaody. He’s ten times more fit than the last time you saw him. It had you wondering what all the other Strawhats looked like.

“Who would have thought!” His laughter had your lips curving up to a small smile. It was a breath of fresh air to be smiling after 2-3 days of nonstop crying. You’ll probably be crying more today when you board the ship that’s supposed to take you home. The pain only three days in is insufferable, so you can’t imagine dealing with the pain truly alone in the middle of the sea while you're on a ship with strangers.

“They said dock C was where the Sunny is located.”

“Huh? Oh. Well, do you think you could get there yourself? I don’t remember which ship Kid’s is docked at, and I don’t want him to see me.”

“Probably. It’s over there, right?” Looking at where he was pointing, you see him pointing in the opposite direction. Sighing and letting out a silent cuss, you grab his wrist, frowning as you begin tugging him toward dock C.

“Oi woman! Where are you taking me?!”

“In the right direction of your ship! I just showed you the right way, and you were about to go in the complete opposite direction!” The sound of the wood creaking went ignored as you continued dragging the swordsman.

“God, where could that idiot be?!” A female voice hits your ears, causing you to stiffen. What if it was a crew member of Kid’s? You needed to listen again to know for sure.

“He’s always getting lost!” To your relief, the voice was entirely unfamiliar. You begin walking towards it and realize that a red-headed woman is coming your way.

“You know her?” You ask the man next to you as you point to the woman.

“Yeah, she’s our navigator. Nami!” Nami? The same Nami that used to have short hair and wore a t-shirt? That Nami? You almost didn’t recognize her!

“There you are! Jesus Zoro, can you not go one second and not get lost?!” Zoro rolled his eyes as you let go of his wrist. Now that he could get back, you can now make your way to your own boat.

“Who did you drag into helping you? She probably has a life unlike you.”

“She’s a Kid pirate-”

“Ex-Kid prate.”

“Huh? You must be new. I didn’t see you on Sabaody.”

“She’s the captain’s ex.” You look at the green-haired man before harshly hitting him.

“Oh, I remember you now! You look so much different than when I last saw you!”

“I can say the same for you. I’d love to chat more, but I can’t miss my ship back home.”

“Aw, shame! We were about to eat, you think you can join us? Least we can do for bringing back this idiot.” You were about to decline the offer as you weren’t in the mood to deal with many people, but your stomach growled loudly. Now you’d be caught lying if you said you weren’t hungry and declined. So despite your discomfort, you agreed. Free food, you supposed, especially nice when you haven’t eaten yet.

“Great! We’re not far away, so follow me!” Sighing quietly, you follow the woman without another word.

~~~

The feeling of guilt and disgust ate away at Kid as he began to tear apart the town. He should have known that you wouldn’t cheat. You’ve been with him since the beginning of his pirate life, and he thought you cheated without even listening to you.

He could still remember the look of horror and heartbreak you wore when he yelled and insulted you. He called you cruel names, and not once did you call him one back. Even through his temper, you never said a mean word. Sure, you raised your voice, but that’s nothing compared to what he did.

How could he even look you in the face? If you saw him, what would you do? Would you cry? Run away? Scream? All scenarios he knew would be negative. No way in hell you’d want to run to him after all the things he called you. Calling you the very things he promised not to call you after you told him your life before joining his crew. How could he fix a trust he worked so hard to establish, to begin with?

There were so many things he wanted to tell you. Tell you he’s sorry and that he’s an idiot. That you weren’t any of those things he said you were. He wanted to tell you that he loved you and beg for your forgiveness. That the first day he met you, he wanted you close. The way your first words to him were compliments and how you looked at him with admiring eyes.

Even when he slept during the time away from you after the fight, he was plagued by your heartbroken face. He’s never slept so shitty as he did when you were gone. His arms reached out for you only to feel the empty space next to him.

When he’d wake up, he could find dry tears stained into his face. And when he looked in the mirror, he could see the way his face was red and his eyes puffy. He caught himself calling out your name before remembering that he was alone. Whether he wanted to admit it at the time or not, the truth was he was miserable/ He couldn’t do anything in his workshop as he had no motivation as all he thought about was you and what you could have been doing.

Well, now that he knows that truth, he had to find you.

He’s been searching for what felt like hours. Destroying every building in his path just to find you. Yet no matter what building he broke down, there was no trace of you anywhere. It’s like you just disappeared. Vanished from the world and vanished from his life.

He couldn’t accept that you were gone. He wouldn’t accept it. How could he be the King of the Pirates if you weren’t there next to him? There’s no way he could deal with knowing what his actions had done and then go on to achieve something huge. You were supposed to celebrate with him.

“Kid!” Killer’s voice snapped him out of his destructive trance, making him turn to the man.

“What?! If you haven’t found (Y/N) yet, then I don’t wanna hear it!”

“There's a ship heading back to the sough blue in one hour. Me and the others believe she’s taking that ship back home.”

“Well, what are you waiting for?! Go see if she’s there, and if not, wait!” Killer sighed at his friend's words. He’s acting like you’re coming back willingly. What the woman told him earlier was right, even if Kid wouldn’t say it aloud. You’d probably rather sell yourself to the Marines than want to see Kid. But against his better judgment, he and Heat head off to the ship that could take you home.

~~~

“Shame you couldn’t stay longer! It’s nice to see and hear a new voice after dealing with Luffy every day.” You couldn’t help but laugh. It felt nice to feel something other than overwhelming sadness. Probably the most laughter that’d come out of you for quite a while. Especially if you were going home.

“Where do you plan on going next? I mean, I doubt you want to stay on an island with strangers.”

“Home. There’s a ship that’s heading to the south blue in an hour. I was gonna take it home.”

“Wow, that’s a long way.”

“Tell me about it. Not looking forward to the journey.”

“Oi Strawhat!” Both you and Nami turn your heads to see who could be yelling. Only last minute did you recognize the voice and the man running towards you. Quickly turning your head back around, you hope that your different colored hair would throw him off.

“(Y/N)! There you are! We’ve been looking everywhere!”

‘Shit. Just my fucking luck.’ You hear his footsteps stop right behind you. Even though Killer was innocent, you still wanted to ignore him.

“Have you been with the Strawhats the entire time? Actually, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you have to come back. Kid knows the truth and is tearing the town apart looking for you. Literally.”

“Let him search. Let him wallow in guilt.”

“Listen, I understand your upset. You have every right to be but-”

“No buts! You know what he called me, Killer?! He called me a whore! Useless! I’m a useless whore to him! I’m not going back and living in skepticism if Kid actually loves me or not! Someone who loves someone wouldn’t say such words. So leave me alone.”

“(Y/N)-”

“You heard her! Leave her alone.” To your surprise, Nami steps in front of you. Dividing you and Killer.

“Strawhat stay out of this. It doesn’t concern you.”

“Tell me this, would you go back if you were in her shoes?”

“What?”

“Would you go back if you were in her shoes?” Killer stays silent before sighing.

“No, I wouldn’t.”

“Exactly. So why should she?”

“Kid knows about the boat that’s supposed to take you home. Wouldn’t be surprised if he’s beat us to it.” Killer’s voice makes your heart drop. How the hell were you gonna sneak onto the boat without Kid seeing you and causing a scene?

“That doesn’t matter anyway since she’s sailing with us now!” Your eyes blow wide at Nami’s words.

“You are?”

“I am?” Nami shoots a look at you before you understand the idea.

“I mean, yes, I am!” Crossing your arms, you look at Killer from behind Nami. You see Killer and Heat exchange looks. If Killer didn’t have his mask on, there's no doubt that he be rubbing his face.

“When the hell did you decide this?”

“Earlier today, actually!” It felt wrong to lie to him, but the idea of staying in the new world and continuing to explore started to grow on you. If Nami was actually thinking about letting you tag along with them, maybe you’d take them up on the offer. 

Instead of going home and most likely going to be married off again by your mom, you’d continue to be free. Be able to see things that child you never thought you would. 

“What should I tell Kid then? Cause we both know how he’s gonna react when he hears this.” Everyone went silent at the idea of coming up with a plan that would cause the least amount of damage to people and ships. Just then, an idea popped into your head.

“I’ve got an idea.”

~~~

Kid’s loud footsteps made the dock shake as he followed Killer and Heat. The two men told him that they saw you heading to dock C but lost you in the crowd. Hearing that, Kid made a mad dash towards the port to try and find you. You were still here, but he didn’t know how long you would be. He couldn’t afford to just miss you.

“This way!” Turning a sharp corner, Killer directs Kid to where they last saw you. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears as adrenaline was running fast through his veins. Flashes of memories with you invade Kid’s mind as he fears that if he misses you, he’ll never be able to create more.

“Wait, I think I see her!” Killer stops suddenly as he points out to the sea. Fear clutches Kid’s heart when he sees you leaning against the railing of the Strawhats ship. Kid rushes to the dock that the boat had just sailed away from moments ago. He looks on in horror as he watches the ship slowly move away from him.

“(Y/N)!” He can see your head turn, and both your eyes lock. A look of sadness and anger crosses your face as you look at him. His breathing loud as words start to stumble from his mouth. For the first time, Kid’s vulnerability was shown to the people of the world as he called to you.

“(Y/N)! I know now! I’m sorry for saying all those fucked up things to you! Your none of those things, I promise!” You said nothing to him, but he could see the small drops of tears rolling down your face.

“I’m a dumbass! I was made and said things I didn’t mean! Get off the ship and come back! I’ll do anything!” Kid could feel his legs grow weak as the ship moved farther and farther away from him. For the first time in his life, he wished he’d never eaten that devil fruit. His only true enemy stood between him and you.

“I need you to come back! I can’t be King of the Pirates without you! I love you! I love you so fucking much that you not being next to me sounds like an eternal hell! I need you with me!” Kid could only feel his heart shatter when you stopped leaning on the railing and turned away from him, walking out of his sight. It felt as if time had stopped and the world stopped turning. 

Kid’s legs finally gave out as he fell to his knees. The world turned deathly silent as he couldn’t even hear his own heartbeat. All he could hear and feel was the tears that slid down his cheeks and the sound of his last words being the only words he could hear as he watched the ship sail away,

“Please…don’t go…”

[magic-hcs]

Can I have a lil scenario of all my favorite things combined? 👀

Charon + meeting soulmate + ANGST 😈

PS: I absolutely adore your blog, your energy and writing always make my day 🥰

of course you can my dear anon! I loved writing this and accidentally wrote more than I thought I would. I hope you like it!

And Oh god, when i tried to save it to edit it a bit more on a different device it got deleted and i was about to yeet my laptop into space, and rage quit for a while (since I'm still healing from that writing burnout) and cry, luckily search history didn't let me down and I took back everything I just wanted to do in anger and sadness. deadass I copy and pasted everything I edited on a doc before trying anything again. So truly I hope you all enjoy!

Charon: Underfell Papyrus

warnings: angst, no comfort, Charon is rude, instant regret, first words are written on the body, maybe more

Time to cast some magic and see what we'll get!✨

✨✨

Charon: Ever had the feelings of regret becoming so strong it makes you bend your back at the sudden weight that whacks you upside the head and rams into you like a train?

Today had been one hell of a rough day. Despite the urge to scream his frustration to the heavens, he pushes on. He had to go shopping for dinner tonight, Charon refuses to do takeout. Healthy food made by Charon is superior to the sort of grub those order places serve up any day of the week. So to the store Charon goes, feeling like even the slightest inconvenience would set him off. Right when Charon couldn't find a specific ingredient a human walks up to him. you opened your mouth but Charon was faster.

"GET LOST HUMAN" Charon barked in your face. Hoping that you would leave him alone after this. But the reaction that he received from you wasn't you scuttling away in fear, or a face frowned in anger. Instead, it was a face of expected shock and unexpected devastated sadness mixed with resignation. Charon noticed your eyes were close to tears as you avert your gaze. With a sniff you roll your shoulders and straighten your back, as if wanting to push through some unbearable hardship. "Alright," you mumble, sniffing one last time and turning to the aisle they both were next to. "I'll get these myself then..." Right as you reach out your arm to grab at the can standing way too high up for your reach, Charon sees it: There on the inside of your arm where the ink black words spelling out in Charon's font 'GET LOST HUMAN.' And a realization hits Charon immediately after. On his own body, the words you had just uttered to him start to pleasantly tingle. Those words had given hope to Charon to find his soulmate. It was supposed to be wonderful to you too...But it brought you only heartache for so long long. It was supposed to be an incredible unforgettable thing. Now it just makes Charon sick. And it feels as if a train rams into him and slams down upon his back. Charon almost stumbles.

He unwillingly watches you strain your arm trying to reach that stupid can standing so high upon the shelf, watches your face be furrowed at the brows, and your resilient eyes desperately keeping the frustrating tears at the bay, sees the way you clench your jaw, holding in so much, throwing up a wall of pretense nonchalance. Charon begs himself to avert his gaze, begs his body to tear itself from the ground and to turn and never come back, begs for a time machine and redo it all over, begs for something, anything at all.

…

Your frustrated huff and a whispered “Goddammit" unshackled him from the confines of his stupor, making him reach out a hand that halts before even getting far. Mouth open but no noise comes out.

What could be done or said to undo a wrong that had been hurting you every day, an ugly reminder of how you’d never get to have a beautifully romantic fated meeting like how it was supposed to be.

…

The answer is simple; he can’t.

With a small flick of his phalanges the can behind the one you were reaching for gets illuminated by magic, and softly pushes the can in front of it. Inching it slightly over the board, right at the exact moment your fingers reached just below it. You tilted it from its perch, grabbing it just before it could fall. Charon turned away, swallowing down the knot that had formed inside his nonexistent throat.

“My Behavior Was Uncalled For, I Apologize.”

You turned to the voice that spoke up, expecting to see the skeleton man standing next to you. Only to find your eyes meeting a receding back.

Every step was a stab to the soul, clenching his teeth tighter, one would worry they’d crack. Your soft sniffles, the resignation on your face, it burns inside his mind, forcing him to watch it again and again. You didn’t deserve this. You didn’t deserve what has been done to you. What he has done to you.

The deepest part of him, the kindest part of him that he’s been hiding for so long wants to turn around and run to you. It wants to hold you, beg for forgiveness and swear that’ll hell do good, that he won’t ever treat you like that again.

But that would be selfish.

Once outside, Charon leans against the nearest wall and a shuddering breath leaves him. Subtly gripping the fabric of his clothes right above where his aching soul is located. Who would have thought that the pain he experienced the moment he got his trademark scratch mark across his socket would ever be surpassed?

A humorless chuckle leaves Charon. He shakes his head, pushing air past his teeth, forcing himself to be grounded, to get it together. Ignoring the ache he takes a few steps before realizing a big fact.

He had left his basket behind…and there were no groceries at home…and going back there, chancing seeing you again was not something Charon was looking forward to.

…

A big sigh leaves him.

It looks like takeout would have to do today…ugh…

BONUS:

Lounging on the couch, staring at a true crime documentary on tv is Red, scratching a sharp phalange along his teeth. There’s a bored scowl on his face, the constant loud tick tocks of the clock hanging on the wall deepens the frown. A few seconds pass. Red ‘tsks’ and snatches the remote to turn up the volume once more. He throws the remote back on the couch, in reach, as if he knew he would use it again at any moment.

Red started to tap his phalange at the small gap between his golden tooth and the other normal ones. An unconscious snrrk fills the room as Red can already guess what Charon would say when he sees what his older brother is doing.

‘Brother, If You Continue That Horrid Habit Of Yours You’ll End Up With Two Golden Teeth Instead Of One.’

His imaginary brother’s nagging sounds as irritating as the real deal.

Another snort leaves Red. A few seconds pass and this time it’s a huff before red eyelights flit over to the clock.

Two hours and thirty minutes.

It’s taking way too long. Red shakes his head. Stomping the thoughts away. A few minutes later the door clicks open and Red refuses to admit that the phalange that he had been jagging between his teeth slipped from his mouth, and that his shoulders had sagged at the noise of the familiar steps of Charon’s boots.

“lemme guess, couldn’t decide which fuckin’ salad dressing to take this time?” Red snarked over his shoulder, when he got no reply his shoulders bobbed in silent chuckle. Thinking the silence was just Charon refusing to go along with Red’s bicker he continued on. “boss, i swear, they all taste the freakin’ same.”

Still no reply. Red’s grin wavered slightly. “bro?” The steps thud up the stairs and there’s an uncharacteristically quiet click of a door. The once disappeared scowl returns in the shape of a confused and slightly concerned frown.

…

“…what in the fuck?”

Now, there is an unspoken ground rule in this house. A boundary none of them have crossed before.

Never enter the other’s room without the other’s knowledge or permission

Red has been knocking on this door for the last six minutes or so, at first asking in the form of jabs like “are ya cryin’ like a babe in there?” It got no indignant shriek from the other side of the door. So it was time to change tactics.

“do i need ta dust a fucker?” No harrumph of “I Don’t Need You To Do My Dirty Work, Brother. I Am Not Weak.” Or something along the likes. Just absolute silence.

…okaayy…something’s up.

“should i whip some up..?” Red refused to admit that slight worried crack in his voice. There was shuffling in the room, however, not one reply was made. “…bro…?”

….

never enter eachother’s room without permission.

…

’fuck it.’

Red shortcuts inside Charon’s room. Ready to be shouted at. Prepared to dodge some objects being hurled at him. But nothing came. Just this deafening quiet. Red finds Charon siting on his bed, knees tucked to his chest, arms dropped next to his side like a ragdoll having lost its strings keeping its arms alive.

“bro?” There are no tears, no grinding of the teeth, no frown or any indication or trace of any emotion at all. The look in Charon’s sockets terrify Red. Mostly because there is no look. It’s empty, vacant of eyelights, devoid of life. And he’s staring straight through Red, as if he’s not even there.

A chill shoots through Red's spine, making him shiver as if something’s crawling along his back. Red rushes towards his brother. Grabbing him by the shoulders and giving him a shake. “bro?” He shakes some more. “bro, fuck off this ain’t fuckin’ funny.” The voice sounds nothing like Red. It’s desperate. A humorless chuckle that sounds more like a manic cackle filled with nerves fills the room. It sends Red’s soul racing, not realizing it was him making the sound. “charon-“

“…” Everything freezes. Red freezes. It was so quiet.

“what?” Its a gasp that leaves Red. The mumbles start up again. Charon’s head tilts slightly. Red just knows that his brother’s empty sockets are now looking at him. “…messed…ed..”

“what?” Its the only thing Red finds in his current vocabulary. He leans closer towards Charon. “…i messed up, red…”

It’s quiet for a long time. Red swallows. “…wh-what didya mes-mess up, bro?” Red finally asks, nervously stumbling over his words. He watched as Charon tilted his head slightly down towards his collar bone.

the place where the words proudly been tattooed on.

Red’s eyelights shrink. It couldn’t be…

“messed everything up…”

oh. no…

Red felt his non-existent stomach drop. And it kept dropping.

✨✨

✨✨

Thank you for participating in this spell, I hope it was to your satisfaction.

[smilindesperado]

By the Blade Chapter 3

...is up! Read on Ao3

Mai sighed.  Maybe even her affection for sharp edges had dulled.

As always to spare anyone who's uninterested from my ramblings, author's note is under the cut!

I kind of published on accident. I like doing a final round of edits in the drafts of Ao3 to see how it looks on another platform (it helps to see the writing in a different format than my docs) and I accidentally hit publish instead of delete draft. I was debating about publishing today anyway or reading through one more time and posting tomorrow, so my mistype is your gain!

I really didn't expect June to get away from me as much as it did. I wasn't able to really dig into this until last weekend, but as I was editing I realized that this chapter was getting long, and while I'm eager to get to the next arc of this story, editing such a long chapter was pretty daunting SO for my own sanity I cut it in half.

Hopefully the next chapter won't take as long, but with the way this summer is going I can't make any promises. There's (now) one more chapter left in this arc and then the story really gets moving. Enjoy!

[eddiediaaz]

hii weird question but do you know how to change a tag ? like i been using a tag ( 911 on fox ) and i was thinking if it was posible to do like a major change to that tag to 911 (i learn my lesson )without having to go to each post because im trying just using 911 instead but because of save tags i accidentally end up using the 911 on fox more than often so i was wondering if by any chance you know about it

hiii! not weird at all! YES there is a website for it! i'se been using it for years, it's called tag replacer and you can also delete tags and include drafts and queued posts in your search when you click on the little filter menu in the corner.

after you connect it to your tumblr, you just type your tag you wanna edit or remove, click find, wait for it (it can take a little while if there are a lot), then type your replacing tag and hit replace. there's a limit of 500 posts to edit all at once tho, so you'll have to do it a few times if you have more. but it works really really well!

i'm SO glad this thing exists cause i do be changing my tags sometimes haha

[oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat]

I misclicked my own poll, noooo!

Sorry, folks. Attempted to hit 'edit' to add a funny, but then I accidentally hit 'delete' instead :(

RIP my hyperspecific lore-poll, it will be missed.

[briskunt]

i was editing my brisquad-unit-4402 masterpost on my laptop which is a bad decision ultimately because when i open a tumblr post that's longer than 400 words on there at this point it slows down. like, i can write a full sentence on my keyboard and it won't show on my screen by the time i hit period. and then it begins to appear one letter at a time. slowly. every three seconds. i've finished piss breaks faster than my laptop on tumblr has caught up with my words.

this also extends to mouse inputs and commands such as ctrl-a.

anyways i'm trying to say that i accidentally ctrl-a'd the entire post instead of a paragraph and deleted the whole thing after 20 minutes of waiting for my keyboard to be competent

it'll get a revamp soon

[24-guy]

I'm gonna cry.

I just edited and formatted a fic. Only to accidentally hit back instead of post and it deleted it all and didn't save the draft.

[fantastic-nonsense]

rip to me, probably just annoyed several people as I tried to post something in a discord server and kept accidentally deleting it instead of hitting the copy/edit button

[autumn-foxfire]

WHOOOO I FIGURED OUT HOW I'M GONNA EXPOSE HAWKS!!! It's supposed to be one of those fics where he gets outed and dropped by the heroes, and that leads to all sorts of chaos, but written by someone who isn't a shipper and doesn't care for Hawks joining the LoV for real lol. So I would say the first of it's kind. It was a lil hard to do because in what universe would the villains cause that sort of trouble for themselves on purpose esp when the PLF already exists at this point in time, and in what universe would the HPSC despite their moral greyness and our personal grievances against them, drop Hawks like a sack of potatoes when they need him OK so they can prevent an all out war? Easy, Dabiiiiiiii~

We've got a few funny layers to the situation. Because what happens is after employing Skeptic's help in finding Tomie, Skeptic here is 👀 about that because JACKPOT and finds the connection to the HPSC cause big ol house, occupant doesn't work, paychecks coming in from somewhere, connection to a villain, to Hawks? He hacks their database, whooo Lady Nagant huh??? But he doesn't get too far, because this is where Dabi comes in like "hey what gives, you were supposed to be the DJ to my dance party in hell" and Skeptic is all "can it wait, I found a really good scoop here" because sure, Dabi's story is good, but it really only worked because society was already uneasy, people wouldn't care enough on it's own + Dabi's main goal was to have all the blame that was bound to result from the war be directed at Endeavor because of it. Originally they wanted someone like Toga or Twice's story, but since PLF also wanted to take down heroes, Dabi's was pretty impactful too especially for taking down "the old" in society, who cling to past ideals Skeptic wants gone, which does include Endeavor and Jeanist from what we were told. So? Targeting the HPSC who are the "head" of the old order? Can we get a "hell yeah" in the chat? *insert a little something for ReDestro's sake and Skeptic never liking the League taking over or being Dabi's new phone girlfriend*

This is something strictly for the MLA's benefit, rather than Dabi's as well. It's targeting the very center of what governs hero society, that makes heroes "lawful" rather than vigilantes, exactly what they need for their "everyone is a hero, and nobody is" agenda. So Skeptic is up editing a video expose of his own, Dabi's will still be used but he's more invested in this currently, but then Dabi is like "delete that shit, it's conflicting with my story" because he was all "lmao look, we all become our fathers huh?" pitying Hawks in his video so he can pity himself "it's really no wonder since his own father was a villain!" looking all solemn and stuff to hammer in the fact "if your No.2 ended up like this because he couldn't escape the violence in his upbringing, can you imagine what that says about Endeavor? poor me, right?" and before someone reading this gets on my ass about it, Dabi is all about self-pity here, he asks Izuku too as well in 293 in response to "you aren't Endeavor!" "lmao yeah duh, but you still gotta pity me right?" so back to the story, the thing Skeptic's making is gonna make Hawks the Wrong Kind Of Victim for Dabi's needs here, it's getting off-topic from the connection he needed to make to Endeavor too. Instead of a guy who hid his name out of wanting to lie to the public about his connection to a villain, "pretending to be a hero," this is becoming "an innocent kid who had his name forcefully taken away." But the MLA love their martyr stories, as they first tried to do with Toga.

Skeptic isn't budging when this can accomplish so many of their goals for a lawless standstill, so they end up tussling for the laptop when Dabi accidentally hits the wrong key and OOP the video gets posted and they both look at each other like "well shit." And the icing on the cake is that Skeptic didn't quite get to finish what he was working on so the HPSC Expose Video only tells HALF the story, that they had Lady Nagant working as an assassin for them, her kill count, and that Hawks was her replacement, what the HPSC trained Hawks for, without the part of "since what age" it all paints him as a cold person as the HPSC's reports are all objective and detached. And Skeptic didn't get to the part where Nagant killed the former Chairman, and that's why "she's in Tartarus for killing a hero" combines with people going "HOL UP so you mean Hawks snapped like his Senpai and that's why he killed Jeanist?!" Wow! How awful! They're so alike! Citizens having a breakdown over the Wrong Kind Of Expose "Wow I Can't Believe How Ruthless Hawks Secretly Was All This Time, We Were Fooled Into Idolizing Him When He's Probably Been Plotting To Kill All Our Favorite Heroes" so they get all angry at the HPSC for Being These Kind Of People, aka "that fic moment where people think Hawks is the face of the HPSC and make him also carry all their crimes" tho it's more of a fandom moment isn't it?

So when Hawks is uh "great news! I found Shigaraki's location!" the HPSC is all *dial tone noises* because they're a lil too busy with the heat of the public, understaffed, and can't come to the phone right now because what's the best way to get Hawks desperate enough to ask the LoV for help in a way that isn't disappointing for a Hawks stan who thinks canon Hawks wouldn't give in that easily? ESPECIALLY considering who the LoV are? Can't exactly waltz up to them like "haha Twice, my man! So the truth is I'm a spy but I really like you guys so please stop killing?" Easy. Cut off his correspondence with the HPSC so he's thinking "well fudge nuggets, now what." He can get all the info the heroes need, but he can't exactly GIVE it to them, nor any other hero, he needs someone to plan the raid, organize the heroes because they'res lots of them and they can't do shit on their own without orders and the police coordinating raids. Being public enemy No.1 makes that tricky + too much info to pass onto Endeavor with another book, but not even Endeavor alone can coordinate that many heroes who are already stingy about working with each other without probable cause, they ain't gonna listen to him when they can be stealing cases off their co-workers to increase their ranking. Big PLF war who? + He can't go investigating WHICH hospital in Kyoto by the mountains here with the cameras on him, that was supposed to be the HPSC's job. So yeah, he really feels like crying right now.

So now if Hawks wants to prevent the essential doom of Japan, he needs to somehow make the villains quit from the inside. That makes him desperate enough to change tactics and this is where I'm gonna try to find a way to appeal to Twice's "gotta save my friends" nature, get some better communication between these two because canon didn't exactly let them sit down and discuss it over a pot of tea, though it's still gonna be subtle because Hawks isn't a leaky faucet with words, he's gonna try and start with worried comments about Tomura and the doctor until we get the LoV off their butts and checking in with what Ujiko is doing re: Toga. I have yet to decide what to do about Dabi lol, but I do want Tomura-Hawks' "creation" parallels to play a major role in this somehow. One thing's for sure, it's gonna be hella messy with Tomura's "I gotta destroy everything, nothing makes me happy" depression being a major rejection risk as well as a "get Hawks dusted from preventing his power-up" risk + sounding like a shifty rat there, and idk HOW Hawks is gonna appeal to him with "backstory reasons" when Hawks is…still sorting things out. But we'll figure it out!! OFA-AFO is also a major gap in intel, and it's not like Tomura isn't aware that AFO was manipulating him, he just stopped caring and thought he could overpower his Sensei's will, so heh talk about a mental exercise to figure out 🤣 the resulting conversation dialogue between them is def gonna be GOLD tho, they're just those kinds of suspenseful characters.

I really, really love this idea nonnie and I'm saying that earnestly. This sounds like a fic I would love to read because the HPSC and their role in all of this was completely shafted by Hori to focused on AFO so it's always a pleasure when fics take the time to focus on them instead and how that affects Hawks and his life.

I love the twist of Skeptic planning to use Hawks "victim" story to have the HPSC discredited (especially because the PLF could then use the "we're sooo sympathetic and stand against the rule of the HPSC and you should too" and that conflicting with Dabi's own plans (as Dabi did paint Hawks as that heartless killer in canon but with less affects because people didn't really care for the life of a villain who was going to kill them all) and that resulting in a half-truth that is posted.

I like the idea of Hawks being isolated from everyone and all of the support he once had, having to earn the trust of people by being himself and that's how he confronts the villains. Going down this route and focusing on the bonds of the LOVs (something that isn't done well in canon sadly) in order to take them down in a kill them with kindness situation is a good idea and would be a good way to demonstrate the themes Hori wants in his manga and for his heroes.

If you've gotten around to writing this, please send me the link! I'm already very intrigued and would love to read more <3 <3 <3

[ttvnadeeta]

so a couple things

1. there will be no VOD for what i did monday. i accidentally deleted the VOD while editing my clips.

2. speaking of clips, i have highlights on my page without titles,and that's cuz i'm hoping twitch goes back to its old ways and will allow u to clip ur highlights. when they updated their page recently u can't anymore. like yes u physically can clip ur highlight into a clip,BUT it won't have a category, even if there's a category on the highlight. it will show blank on the clip. i will leave my highlights untitled for about another 2-3 weeks. if i still can't clip them properly,i'll just re-title them,so that way u guys know what ur looking at and all that stuff. and hopefully as time goes on if they haven't already by this time,they fix the issue and all that.

3. speaking of editing,i'm srry,but my stream from last week will have to stay in 3 parts. the reason it even happened was cuz mid stream i had clicked on start stream and when u hit space it usually re-hits what was last clicked on,and i accidentally hit it. and then 2nd time it ended was cuz i accidentally hit the trackpad and it ended the stream as the cursor was there. so unfortunately, i have 3 VOD's from that day. i tried to edit them into 1 big video but my pc doesn't have the space to do so i guess. my plan was to at least post the first 2(as i was able to combine them)on twitch,so i would only have 2 VOD's instead of 3,but twitch keeps saying an error when i try. and i tried 3 times. so i'm probably just going to delete all the parts off my pc and will just have to be careful in the future and stuff.

4. there will be no stream tonight. fiance doesn't feel good and i don't feel like soloing a stream tonight. if plans stay the same,we should be doing ps/pc tomorrow though. will keep u all posted.

5. will try to get my tiktok drafts posted at some point. cuz i also cross post them here and on my other twitch socials. just between work,anime,and streaming i don't really have time to do it. i keep getting distracted,and/or busy. plan will be to get them posted within this month or next month. that's the goal anyways. cuz i also have drafts on my main page i still have yet to do. will keep u all posted with those as well.

[allisonreader]

@sunshineandrosesnoraincamemyway I accidentally deleted your ask about the top five things that I've created, so here is that posted this way instead.

I'm going to focus on things I've sewn as what I've created. (With a bonus top five writing projects) Just because I have easy access to the pictures I have of some of my favourite sewing projects. (Favourite photographs would be different and with that I could do a top five or ten flowers and sunsets with how many I have of them.)

Anyways to start off in no particular order (because I wouldn't actually be able to choose an order) my top five (sort of) sewing projects.

First off my selection of skirts. I couldn't choose just one, so here's my top four favourite skirts that I've made. None of them using a pattern, just an idea from my head.

Next, my dachshunds (pattern from Funky Friends Factory) one of which is using multiple small embroideries to dress up the one and the other using a variety of decorative stitches from a Janome MC8200, which I'm particularly pleased about how it turned out.

A hand embroidery that I sort of wanted to look like a stained glass rose which is fairly successful.

A free-standing lace mask that I glammed up with beads and sequins after it was stitched out. (But also showing a selection of other free-standing lace.)

Then last but not least, a placemat using decorative stitches off of a Husqvarna Epic (and I'm afraid I don't remember if it was the Designer Epic or the Epic 980Q, just that it was when we first got those in the store.)

Now onto the bonus of my top five writing projects.

Number 1 has to be Tales Of A Frozen Sailor. I'm still really pleased with myself and the fact that I mostly got it done within a year. The chapter The Autopsy is still probably my favourite piece within the story. (Mainly because the four reactions to it completely warm my heart and delight me to no end. Every so often I go back to that part in particular to read the comments.) I am in the process of rewriting the story, but it's probably going to take me at least a couple of years to finish that, especially since I haven't been working consistently.

Number 2 is one where I have it called A Royal Unmasking at the top of the story, but call it The Masquerade everywhere else. This is another that I find myself returning to on occasion. Whether it is to reread the story or reread the comments. (Generally both.)

Number 3 is the piece that started off The Hidden Royals. It is something that I'm going to have to rewrite for a multitude of reasons (one being that I want to include a certain dragon {aka Lalawa} into the story from an earlier point to add consistency.)

Number 4 is The Hidden Royals; The Spark. Which is the second Inklings Challenge story on this list. I just think it turned out extremely well and I have to admit that I love that my little dragon Lalawa was such a hit.

Number 5 is a small one off piece called Desert Wails .

It's short and doesn't have much to it but I still enjoy how it turned out.

And I'm just going to sneak in this last honourable mention of Time Loops and Sewing because it's a more recent piece that turned out rather well all things considered. I had no real plan at first and didn't end up really giving it a good edit, though it's not particularly a piece that I enjoy reading myself, even though I wrote it.

[undercooked-spaghetti]

Sometimes my biggest fear when I'm editing my drafts on AO3 is accidentally hitting post instead of preview. I know I can delete it and re-post later (hell, I wrote a story once and got nervous right after posting the first chapter because I thought it was trash and deleted it ((I was proud of it, but just kind of felt like others would think it was a stupid idea)), just to change my mind and just post it with confidence), but I don't like to do that if I can help it.

I will say though, it's nice that they send you a copy of your story when you delete it. I always write in Google Docs and try and get it right before throwing it into AO3, but I like to create the draft just for final, small tweaks, tagging purposes, and titling (titles are still sometimes hard for me).

[flyingbooks42]

I've been worrying all day about accidentally hitting post instead of preview (or edit when on the preview screen) on AO3 (I've been doing lots of previewing to try to get the HTML & CSS right) for a fic for an exchange, and it finally happened. RIP. At least I deleted it and remade it a few moments after, but it still apparently got 3 hits in those moment, so if you saw it then no you didn't.