NOTHING HOLDIN’ ME BACK ! — ★ logan howlett.
・˳ . ⋆ sum. you’ve seen him fight, move around his cage like a wild animal, made of hard muscle and thirsty for blood. but you’ve grown tired of him holding back— you’re finally letting him out.
pairing cagefighter!logan x bartender!reader
warnings fem!reader, praising, begging, fingering, nipple play, p in v, creampie, unprotected, no use of y/n but I used pet names (precious, babe…). so much use of the word slick, sorry not sorry.
wc 3.9K
★ an ★ omg, corn w/o plot? my speciality, please enjoy this piece of work I wrote at four am during insomnia 😃 forgive any mistakes, they just slip past my eyes sometimes and I don’t proofread my works, lol. So I don’t know if I made it justice, I just kind of wrote what was in my head, hope you enjoy it anyways :)
Just like every other time you watched him from a distance, your heart would stop whenever one of his opponents managed to land a punch. But it didn’t matter—he remained standing. Steady.
As steady as his steps, pacing around the cage, eyeing his prey the way a lion eyes a gazelle, ready to pounce, sink its fangs in, spilling blood everywhere as it reveled in watching its victim fall.
Nothing was staged, though there were always rumors that someone helped him win, that it was simply impossible for him to take down his opponents so easily with just one punch to the jaw. You’d heard it all before, and you’d laughed every time. You knew who Logan was: a wild animal that couldn’t be tamed, thirsty for blood and victory—and maybe a few free shots of whiskey you managed to get him from the bar.
The place looked the same as always—smelled of cigarettes and aged whiskey, even the occasional hint of weed. But none of that could pull your attention away from the fight, from him.
There were nights were you had to make sure everything went as it should—no dirty moves, no corruption. Every corner of this dark, pretentious place was under your watchful eye. Besides, when you sometimes played as the timekeeper, you had the task of looking after him. And it’s not like it was a job you were paid to do—he just sought it out himself.
Before you got into all this fight business, you were just a normal woman working at a coffee shop in the city, taking orders left and right, spending your energy on a job that rarely compensated you fairly. But that’s just how things were... Or so you thought until you found this place: a basement of what used to be an apartment building, transformed into a run-down bar and the main entertainment hub for the slums. Cage fights seemed more interesting than a football match to these people.
At the start, you were hesitant about the idea, but you convinced yourself you’d enjoy it more and the pay was good.
When you first stepped into this place, your initial thought was that the floors were too sticky, filthy, and reeked of alcohol. But somehow, you got used to it, and the smell became a part of you—you could hardly notice it anymore, unlike those first few days you spent here.
Everything seemed monotonous at first; men fighting each other, trying to prove who had the bigger ego— maybe bigger dick.
You watched it all from a distance, serving drinks to drunken men who were just as thirsty for a fight, until everything changed.
He arrived.
Logan. The mysterious man nobody liked because everyone already had their favorite fighters, and when he showed up, everything went to hell. Literally.
Every time he stepped into that cage, he managed to knock out every single one of those idiots, leaving them with swollen eyes and dislocated jaws—some he even left unconscious.
Tonight was one of those many nights, where you lingered close and watched the fight, trying not to bite your lip every time, by pure luck and chance, one of his opponents managed to land a hit on his cheek. But they never had the upper hand—Logan always found a way to beat them, again and again.
Just as he always found a way to cage you inside his room after, keeping you to himself even though you tried to not get to involved, but you knew you were too far gone. You were too into him to care about the outcome, even worse when he made you enjoy it too much.
“Ah- Fuck”. You tremble on Logan’s lap, sweaty back resting on his broad chest while your hands hold the back of your thighs, keeping you open for him. He was the only one holding you up while he was knuckles deep inside your pulsating cunt. You tried not to bite too hard on your lip, but you already saw the way a clear sheet of slick coats down a single finger, and it has you clenching down harder, tighter.
“It’s just one finger, princess- you can take it”, he rasps, head leveled to your ear, while his other hand holds a glass of whiskey you managed to steal away for him; your hazy eyes looked around, noticing the small details your gaze always attached to when coming to his room: his leather jacket, his wife beater perched on the couch armrest, and the countless mags you left on the battered desk. But nothing was able to steal your attention for too long when the excitement from having him fingering you in his room had you curling your toes, along with the non-stopping motion of them.
“It’s so t-thick, I-I don’t think you’ll fit”, you babble out in broken words, referring to his dick. It’s been a few days since he’s been repeating the same cycle, eating you out then fingering you, preparing you to take his length— and even though you’ve had his dick in your mouth, he says is not the same.
It was your fault, really. You insisted you could take his fingers without him needing to eat you out, but you were already failing in the task. You felt your tummy churn in a line of zig zags as you sense him slowly sink another finger inside, leaving a burning trail behind. Your hand shot out to take his arm, curling around it to have something to ground yourself. “It f-feels weird”.
A breathy chortle leaves his lips, glass of whiskey lifting up, your gaze following the movement until it wasn’t in your line of sight anymore. His head goes back to his previous spot, stopping just a few inches from your ear, “I told ya, you wouldn’t be able to take them…”.
A frown etched on your features, sweaty brows knitting together at his words. Of course you could take them, he was just making fun of you because you weren’t thoroughly prepared like all those other times.
“I-I can take them”. You said, hand moving back to hold your leg, opening up even more for him. You could watch it in this position, and it made more slick gush out of your cunt, his covered finger kept pushing in and out slowly, patiently.
A tiny gasp leaves your lips when his index finger slides through your labia, scooping up more of your juices, teasing you. “You’re a big girl now? You think you can take it? Let’s see…”.
You hummed excitedly, your head moving up and down. You managed to get your ass a bit lower on his lap, your back sliding down just the right amount until it seemed you were going to sleep on his abdomen, chasing his fingers with your cunt.
You heard his low chuckle from behind, glass lifting up again to take a sip from his drink, “You’re so greedy, precious… but I’m holding back, just for you”.
You didn’t want that, you didn’t want him to hold back, you wanted his everything. Every finger he wanted to give you you’d accept it happily, didn’t matter if it hurt at first— you’d take the pain.
“Don’t hold back, I’ll be okay”, you assured, looking back at him. His hazel eyes were glued to you, lust and excitement swirling around in the depths of them, lips glistening from the whiskey he was nursing, you wanted to kiss him. “Gimme a kiss”, you plead, lips forming a pout when he shakes his head.
“Be patient, I’m busy fucking your cunt now, let me focus, mhm?”. Logan arched one brow, looking at you expectantly.
“Alright”, you mumbled, disappointment laced in your voice at him denying your request. He’d always kiss you afterwards, but you hoped he’d changed that when he noticed you were struggling.
“Don’t be sad, pretty girl, you’ll get your reward soon”, he promises, not stopping for a moment the sweet and slow pacing of his fingers, smiling at the way your cunt clenched when you heard the nickname. Your walls were more clingy than they were in a daily basis, sticking against them like glue. You gasped when you feel his index finger teasing your entrance, “Pleaseplease, I can take one more…”.
Logan keeps his gaze fixed on yours, finally putting it in. You felt a delicious sting, one that managed to scratch that itch in your foggy brain. You squirmed on his lap, hips lifting up just the right amount to ease the small discomfort. A grunt left his throat, fingers slipping out of your dripping walls to spank at your cunt, followed by your whine at the sting, so different from the one his finger caused.
“I thought you could take it”.
His hand rested next to your cunt, fondling your inner thigh affectionately— but he did nothing else. Logan acted nonchalant, drinking from his glass as if he wasn’t finger fucking you just seconds ago. Your thighs were still wide open, arms growing weary from how long you’ve been holding them.
“Logan?”. you call once, eyes glassy with unshed tears. He ignored you, gaze fixed on the old TV perched on the coffee table feet away from you and the boring news channel he was ‘watching’.
He hummed, not looking your way. You frowned once more, but this it was not caused by the delicious pace of his fingers, but for his peculiar way of ignoring you.
You were there, laid open for him, perky nipples and sopping wet cunt waiting to get fucked- be it his fingers or dick. But he was ignoring you, holding back.
You didn’t want him to hold back, you wanted his everything, one, two or four fingers— whatever he wanted to give you you’d accept it with open hands. But he didn’t want to hurt you, you knew the change in his demeanor the moment you lifted your hips, trying to ease the stinging pain, and though it was momentary, he stopped everything.
“Logan?”. you called once again, hand moving from your leg to hold his, trying to move him to your cunt so he can continue his ministrations, but he didn’t bulge. He held your thigh with more strength, slick covered fingers digging on your skin.
“If you want my fingers to fuck you, you’ve got to let me eat you out, if not then I can’t-”
“B-but I don’t want you to eat me out, you won’t fuck me with your dick if I’m too sore…”, you whined, lips pouting once more, watching his stoic face twitch just for a second and then a smirk finally appeared on his lips.
His fingers twitched too, caressing your outer labia with the tips— his other arm under your armpit, forearm glued to your ribs. You could see the condensation in the glass, drink almost finished, you were thirsty.
“Want some?”, he asked and you glanced back at him in thought, then nodding slowly. A grin spread across his mouth, pearly white teeth showing from between his pink lips. He moved the glass to drink from it, a disappointment feeling sinking deep into your chest when you noticed the drink was finished.
He noticed it in your features, the way you looked so disappointed thinking he was punishing you.
That’s why didn’t think he’d lower his head, lips attaching to your parted ones, liquid slipping to your mouth, a satisfied moan leaving your throat when the bitter liquid covered your tongue— mixed with his own saliva. It was utterly erotic to you, the way you shared everything, from his dog tags to his fluids.
All the time you were kissing, you felt his fingers move once more to your entrance, two of them breaching in at once— a gasp leaving your mouth the moment they bottomed out. Logan took the opportunity to shove his tongue inside, twirling it with your own, stroking the warm muscle. Saliva dripped from the corner of your mouth, slipping down to your chin.
His fingers hid inside your cunt walls, initiating a slow pace just like before, brushing that spongy spot with them. Your hand curled around his arm once more, feeling the hot skin beneath your fingers. Your back was sweaty, his chest and abdomen hair sticking to your skin.
“You’ve been so good, letting me do what I want, always”. He praised, a string of saliva formed after your heated kiss, keeping you somehow together even after he leaned back to plant a kiss on your head.
His digits moved at a faster pace now, the squelching sound your pussy made provoked his bulge to grow, a tent appearing in his pants beneath your lower back. The pain was too far gone, now you could only feel the pleasure.
“I think you can take a third, uh? You’re a big girl after all”, he asked teasingly, you could only nod effusively, pushing your hips further into his hand. As you still make a cute attempt at rocking your hips against his lap. He slowly inserts another thick finger inside. tightening around each one, you whine before your entire body jitters.
Logan chuckles deeply against your ear, feeling the claws of your nails seep into the flesh of his arm. "So three is the limit. I see…" and within three seconds, his digits pull out of your cunt. A slimey string of your wetness sticks against his fingers. as he looks down with an utmost hungry gaze, he brings his fingers up to his mouth before sniffing them.
He pops the three of them inside his mouth, his tongue devours your honeyed slick, brows furrowing in arousal before he takes them out, pressing them to your own lips. “C’mon pretty girl, taste yourself”.
Your lips happily part, and he puts two fingers inside, groaning when he noticed you greedily suck on them— thinking it was his dick you were sucking, not his fingers.
With a groan he takes them out, glass forgotten on the couch armrest and lifts you up, turning you around so you’re lying face down on his chest, dog tags digging into your cheek.
He takes the back of your neck and kisses you, a moan leaving your throat the moment your saliva mingling together. His slick covered fingers parted your ass cheek, scooping up more of your slick before putting his fingers back inside, fucking you faster, rougher.
Your head hid in the crook of his neck, arms enveloping his broad back tightly, as if it was the only thing that could keep your feet on the ground.
“We need to stretch it out, get it ready to take my dick, don’t wanna hurt this little girl”, he speaks, voice dripping with lust and it made heat pool beneath your cheeks.
“Logan? I-I don’t want you to hold back…”, you mumble, ass lifting higher, knees digging in the battered couch. “Want you to be rough, I- if that’s what you want…” your voice lowered with each word, shame finally settling in your brain.
With a final thrust of his fingers, he pulled them out, taking your waist and positioning you above the couch, the leather dampening with your sweet and juices.
His hands gripped your thighs, forcing them open once again after you closed them in shame, “Don’t hide from me”.
Your arms hugged your chest, trying to cover your breasts from his sight, you were growing shy on him and he didn’t like that. Not even a bit.
“Stop that”, he said, tugging your hands off your chest, pinning them above your head. Your eyes avoided his, not wanting to meet his gaze, “Look at me”. He demanded, meaty thighs accommodating between yours, preventing you from closing them.
You look at him after a few seconds from looking at the humidity spot in the wall, “Need ya to tell me if it’s hurts, if you want to stop”.
Your head shakes up and down, “Okay”.
He nods in agreement and releases your hands, trailing his own down your body, stopping on your breasts, twirling the nipples between his index and forefinger, fondling the soft mounds in his much bigger hands. Then continued on his way, touching your ribs, waist and halting on your hip bone, thumb caressing the bone protruding from the skin.
He still had his jeans on, a wet spot staining them on the front, your juices. It made your pussy clench around nothing, skin heating up once again.
His hands hastily pulled his belt off, zipping his pants down, lowering them just the right amount to take his cock out through the front.
A gasp left your lips, mouth hanging open at the sight of his hard shaft, the angry tip leaked precum, the pearly white droplets making your mouth water. You’ve had him in your mouth before, you’ve tasted his skin and cum, the saltiness of his skin equals the one from his fluid and it makes your tongue tingle with anticipation. He watches the look you give him, the need for it you showed but he quickly denied you.
“Not tonight babe, I’m gonna fuck you now and nothing’s gonna stop me”.
Logan fisted it in his palm, giving it a few tugs before bringing it closer to your pussy, head rubbing up and down on it, covering it in your slick, wetting it to perfection.
He swirled it around your clit, covering it in his cum, mixing his fluids with your own. Finally, his angry tip hooked on your entrance, making his way until you felt it was completely in.
It was a tight fit, your cunt felt like a big pole tried to enter you, but it was just the tip.
“Relax, you’re doing it good”, Logan mumbled, head thrown back and eyes closed. You tried to relax, to listen to him and loosen up a bit but the pressure was too much— you didn’t felt that way with his fingers.
“It’s not going to fit”, you repeat the same words from the start, thinking how dumb it was of yourself to think you could take that huge thing in between your legs. You tried to move back, forearms planted on the couch wanting to get away from his dick, but he stopped you.
“You told me to not hold back, and you’re doing the opposite thing… be good yeah? I really wanna fuck you”, he admitted, halting your movements.
You were going to try, just for him.
You both stayed still for a moment, he rejoiced in the way your spongy walls clenched around his hard shaft, and the way your chest heaved up and down, making your breasts jiggle slightly.
He tried not to cum, really tried. And he also tried not go all the way inside you, he didn’t want to hurt you.
“I’m gonna put it all in, yeah?”.
He finally asked and you could only nod, watching and feeling the way his dick leisurely entered. After a few seconds of trying, he finally bottomed out, balls pressed against your ass. It was a tight fit, of course, the stinging feeling from before was present too, but it was even worse than his fingers.
A small cry left your lips, eyes glassy and teeth biting down on your lips. Logan’s eyes softened, hand moving from your thighs to rest on your cheek, wiping the tear off with the pad of his digit. “Shh, it’ll be alright”. He assured.
He waited a few minutes, watching the way a few tears slid down your cheeks, wiping them off like before and whispering sweet things to you, to soothe you.
Logan realized you were ready the moment you started to squirm, tears stopping and heat returning to your cheeks, traveling down to your neck and chest.
“I’m gonna move now, is that okay?”, he asked, waiting for a verbal confirmation that everything was alright.
“Yeah, ‘m okay”.
When he heard those words, he finally let himself move. In and out, a steady and slow pace at first, then he started to fuck you harder. His dick hit your cervix, head stroking your vulva with greediness.
You knew he was holding back, you felt it. It didn’t hurt anymore, at least for now, but he was still holding back— you noticed it in his features, his frown and tight jaw gave him away. You wanted him to be him, to do what he wanted with your body. You wanted him to act the same way he acts in the cage.
You elevated a bit from your spot, reaching to his cheek with your hand, he was so tall you didn’t touch it at first, but he hunched over so you could.
“I-I told you to not hold b-back”, a whimper left your mouth when he hit that spot, a euphoric sensation spreading through your lower abdomen and legs. He noticed it, and he began to thrust faster.
He gripped the leg dangling from the side of the couch and made it lift to your chest, it felt completely different from moments before. You felt his dick hitting deeper, and you didn’t know if it was your imagination that made you sense the veins in his dick rubbing against your walls.
You looked down, trying to watch the way he slipped in and out of you, you only managed to catch a small glance, but it was the most erotic scene you’ve witnessed. Nothing you’ve ever done compares to this, not even when you’d finger yourself in front of the wall mirror at your apartment.
“Fuuck”, he groaned, hips snapping rapidly, the smacking sound being the only thing you heard in the small, deteriorated room, along with his grunts and your moans, that got higher and higher every time he bottomed out. “Are you good?”.
You’re too fucked dumb to reply, and Logan’s pace grows more and more erotic. The couch creaks again and again, your head spinning. You could sort of feel the rough fabric of his halfway pulled down jeans against your ass each time he hits himself against you,
He smiles and keeps the pace, hand traveling down to rub on your clit gently, he didn’t want to overstimulate you— for now.
“Yes yes there”, you chant, your smaller hand holding his wrist, tugging it forward to press harder on your bundle of nerves.
And without further notice, the thread snaps. Your tummy churns and your legs spread even wider, if that was even possible, your body trembles as it contracts and gives Logan everything you have left to offer. You squeeze his dick, moaning wildly as his pace never falters, urging you to stay in the state of euphoria a bit longer.
Then you feel it too, his cum leaking from inside your cunt dripping down onto the couch, seeing the way his dick slips out from you and glistens with your mixed arousal. His eyes fixed on his cum gushing out from your pussy, doing his best to hold back.
You watched it too, and It made your pussy clench again, he obviously noticed it but he just chuckled and shook his head, putting a stray hair behind your ear.
“Easy there, we just fucked, we’ve got plenty of time to do it again”.
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YOU’RE HIS AND NOT MINE - M.STURNIOLO (PT1)
Warnings : Crying, arguing, bullying, reverse comfort, shouting, use of y/n
Summary : In which, Matt is head over heals in love with his best friend… but she has a boyfriend already
Authors Note : You lot are being fed right now because this is part one of a four part series. Part 1 might be a little bit boring but please bare with me, it will get good soon, I promise. There will be a angst, smut, fluff, all the emotions. Good luck and I hope you enjoy a rollercoaster of emotions. <3
Pink is reader
Blue is Matt
Green is reader’s boyfriend
Orange is teacher
Purple is Nick
Italics is flash forward/back
________________________________________
Your best friend Matt is crying in your arms and he won’t tell you why. When he finally does and you find out that it’s because of your boyfriend, your body fills with sadness and rage.
You and Matt have been best friends since you were kids. You’ve gone from playing on the parks to talking shit about people and laughing at mildly sexual jokes. You’ve changed a lot but you’ve changed together.
Although you and Matt are the closest of friends, you are complete opposites. You are literally the definition of “opposites attract”. You are popular and extroverted and Matt is nerdy and quiet.
It is not uncommon that Matt will get picked on for being nerdy and you will always stand up for him, but when it comes to your boyfriend being the one to ridicule Matt, the seas start to get a bit rocky in your relationship.
Your boyfriend, Jack, has always been jealous of yours and Matt’s friendship because he doesn’t like the idea of another man getting your attention besides him. It’s fucking annoying.
“Matt, come on, I can’t be arsed to do fucking algebra.”
“Come on, kid, we have a test in a week and you don’t even know how to find x in a simple equation.”
“Stop saying big words!”
Clearly, your protests are useless because Matt just laughs and pushes the paper and pen towards you, encouraging you to study.
After a long time of studying, Matt explaining things to you and a few minor breakdowns, you get there and you finally understand the question.
“Alright, now you can do that, let’s start adding numbers-“
“Hey babe.”
You hear your boyfriend’s voice behind you and you smile. He starts to kiss your neck and you feel a little uncomfortable, not wanting to do this in front of Matt.
“Hey, my love…”
You subtly try and push your boyfriend away when you notice Matt look a little uncomfortable. You start to feel a little suspicious because Matt went all quiet and shy the second your boyfriend walked in.
“You alright, Matt?”
“Uhh… yeah I’m alright.”
Matt shoots you a weak smile but you are nowhere near convinced. You let it go for now but you stay wary.
Your boyfriend takes a seat next to you, putting a possessive hand on your thigh as you and Matt continue to study together. You still don’t understand algebra.
After you and Matt are done with your homework and studying, you start packing up your things and getting ready to leave Matt’s house. You look over at Matt and he still looks sad.
You go over to him and give him a goodbye hug, holding him for a little bit longer, hoping that you can make whatever is making him sad a little bit better.
“Bye Matt, see you tomorrow.”
“Yeah, bye y/n! See you tomorrow.”
“Okay whatever..”
You look at your boyfriend, a little bit confused at his passive aggressive behaviour towards Matt.
Timeskip
Later that night, you and your boyfriend are lay in bed and you are lay on his chest. For some reason, you can’t get Matt’s sad expression out of your head.
“Babe…?”
“Yes, love.”
“Do you have any idea why Matt was so sad earlier? He was visibly upset and I don’t know why…”
“Why do you care? It’s not your problem?”
“Yea but it is because he’s my best friend and I love him.”
You saying that you love Matt must have clearly set something off in your boyfriend because he immediately stands up, telling you that he’s going to the toilet and slamming the bathroom door behind him.
You flinch when the door slams but you just roll your eyes and pick up your phone to text Matt, knowing that your boyfriend can be like this sometimes.
Matt 💗
Hi Matt
Hi :)
Are you alright? You really didn’t seem yourself earlier
No, yeah. I’m fine, I promise
Are you sure?
Yeah ofc, I’m just tired
Okay well let me know if anything does happen, alright?
I will, thank you
You’re welcome, Matt
Your boyfriend walks back into the room and he still looks a bit mad but you just brush it off. You open your arms for him, waiting for him to come and lie with you.
“I’m sorry for saying that, babe.”
“It’s alright… sorry for snapping at you.”
“It’s fine..”
Timeskip
You walk into school, not excited for today. You have the shittiest lessons but, luckily, the teachers aren’t that bad. You walk into maths first and you walk over to your desk.
You take out all of your equipment, getting ready to start the lesson. The teacher starts taking attendance and everyone says “here” but Matt.
“Matt? Is Matt not here?”
“He should be. He always texts me before school if he’s not going to be here and he would never skip a lesson.”
“Okay… we’ll send someone to go check on him because it does say that he is in school, he just isn’t in my lesson.”
You nod, knowing that this is very suspicious. You saw Matt this morning, driving to school with his triplet brothers, Nick and Chris. You immediately take out your phone to text him.
Matt 💗
Matt, where are you?
Matt?
You send the message and 5 minutes later, you’re still on delivered. You start to worry like mad. You spend the entire maths lesson just worrying about Matt.
When the lesson is over, you don’t care about going to history because you need to find Matt. You start searching the school.
You are pacing around the school, having looked everywhere and not finding him. You start doing a second lap of the school when you hear sobs coming from an empty classroom.
Your head starts spinning. Is it Matt? If so, why is he crying? You walk over to the door and gently push it open. You see Matt crying, sat at one of the desks.
When you see him, you instantly shut the door behind you and make your way over to him. You don’t even say anything, you just pull him into your arms.
“Matt… what’s wrong?”
“H-he said that y-you s-shouldn’t be friends with a l-loser like me…”
“Who’s ‘he’, sweetheart?”
“J-Jack…”
“As in, my boyfriend, Jack?”
Matt nods his head against your chest, continuing to cry into it. You are absolutely fuming right now, knowing that your boyfriend had made Matt sad but you don’t show it because you don’t want to scare Matt.
“Don’t listen to Jack, okay? He’s just jealous that you’re getting my attention and not him.”
“I-okay… t-thanks y/n.”
“It’s okay… I’ll have a word with him tonight. A strong word.”
Matt just nods again, not wanting to speak because it just comes out as a stuttering, shaky mess. You understand and just pull him closer to you, playing with his hair.
After a few minutes, Matt starts to feel better but he just wants to stay in your arms, enjoying the comfort that it brings him. You simply comply and hold him.
He pulls away after another minute or two and he looks up at you. His cheeks are stained red from crying and his nose is running a little. You grab a tissue and wipe his nose and eyes.
“What are you gonna say to him..?”
“I don’t know yet, sweetheart, but I’ll figure it out.”
“Okay… I hope this doesn’t make him more mad..”
“Well… if he says anything else to you, if we don’t break up tonight, I’m breaking up with him then!”
Matt simply buries his head back into your chest and nods, now starting to overthink about whether this is just gonna make Jack more angry at him.
You hold him for another little while and then the bell goes. You guys can finally go home and you can finally yell at Jack. You have a LOT to say.
You walk Matt out to the gate and you give him a hug before he leaves. He wishes you a quiet ‘good luck’ before going to his car and taking himself home. That’s when you see Jack.
You’re trying to contain your anger at least until you get home but it’s getting difficult. You get in the car with him, not saying a word. You want him to know that you’re pissed off.
To your annoyance, Jack doesn’t say anything in the car but when you guys get back to his house, you snap. He tries to kiss your neck and you push him off you.
“How fucking dare you, Jack?!”
“Woah woah woah… what’s got your panties in a twist?”
“Why the fuck have you been saying all that shit to Matt about him not deserving me as a friend and calling him a loser?!”
You watch as Jack’s face drops and he instantly knows why you’re pissed. He tries his best to explain himself but, in your opinion, it’s all utter bullshit.
“Listen, babe.. I only said that because I was jealous. He’s getting more of your time than me.”
“Doesn’t take Einstein to figure that one out, dipshit! You scoff and roll your eyes like a bitchy toddler whenever I speak to Matt.”
“Yeah… because I’m your boyfriend… you should spend your time on me.”
“Oh so now you’re tryna control me? Fuck you Jack.”
Your eyes are cold and he can tell that whatever he says isn’t gonna change your mind. He’s trying to reason with you but it’s proving difficult.
“Babe… I’m sorry. I won’t do it again. I won’t even talk to him again.”
“You said that the last time I brought this up. Last time it was just because of your stupid fucking meltdowns whenever I spend time with him and now you’re making fun of him and calling him names?”
“I know, babe… I’m sorry.”
“Don’t call me babe.”
You continue to argue for a while until you’ve had enough. You want to go back to yours but the whole reason that you were supposed to stay at Jack’s is because your parents aren’t home so you ring Matt.
“Matt? Can I come over to yours? I can’t deal with this dickhead anymore.”
“Yeah, of course.”
You can hear his smile through the phone, he’s clearly happy to hear from you. You smile a little too and grab your bags, heading out of the house. You put the phone down on Matt, telling him you’ll be there soon.
“But babe-“
“I said, don’t call me babe. Talk to me again when you’re less of a twat.”
You get in your car, leaving Jack at the door, still trying to get your attention. You slam your car door and drive off, not paying any attention to Jack.
You start speeding off to Matt’s house, not sure whether you want you want to cry or scream. Holding back all of your emotions, you reach Matt’s house. You get out the car, collect your bags and go knock on his front door.
When you knock, Nick, Matt’s triplet brother, answers instead of Matt. You, Nick and Chris are all good friends but you and Matt have always had a closer relationship. You never really knew why but you two have always been closer, since you were kids.
“Hey girl, you okay?”
“I guess… me and Jack got in an argument. I don’t know if I wanna cry or scream..”
“Shit… I’m sorry. Matt’s in his room.”
“Thanks…”
You smile at Nick and he closes the door behind you. Taking your bags with you, you head over to Matt’s room. You knock and then just let yourself in. You find him lay on his bed, just on his phone.
“Hey…”
“Hey. You didn’t sound too happy on the phone. Can I assume that it’s Jack?”
“Yeah… I spoke to him about the thing with you but he was just making up excuses. I think I got my point across though.”
Matt decides that it’s a better idea to just open his arms for a hug instead of making you talk about it much more. When you see Matt extend his arms for you, you smile and put down your bags, walking over to the bed.
You collapse down next to him, letting him hug you and you lightly hug him back. You start to feel tears welling up in your eyes but you push them down as much as you can, not wanting to pay too much attention to the whole scenario.
Matt looks down at you and he can see your teary eyes. His eyes soften and he just pulls you a little closer, rubbing your back.
“What did he say? Why did you sound so pissed off on the phone?”
“He was basically just telling me that he’s jealous that you’re getting more of my time than him. First of all, I don’t think that’s necessarily true and secondly, you’re my best friend.”
“He annoys me so much sometimes… was he yelling at you?”
“A bit.. but I was definitely yelling back.”
Matt laughs and rests his head against yours. You stay in Matt’s arms for a while, helping you feel better, and then after a while, you just throw a movie on that you both like. Matt got some snacks and you’re just hanging out together now.
After a while of just sitting together, Matt speaks up. He sounds a little frustrated for some reason but you don’t ask why.
“Your boyfriend really pisses me off?”
“Why? Is it because he yelled at me?”
“Yeah well.. that too but… it’s because you’re his and not mine.”
________________________________________
Taglist : @astrolynnworld @moncherriis @mattybsbitch @strnzzvsp @strniohoeee @sturnsem @sturnsdarling @sturnslesbo @sturnioloho @sturniolo-slvt @sturniolojpg @iluvm4ttsturni0l0 @loud-sturniolos @iheartmattsbeard @sturnioloslife @stuniolvs @mattgirl4eva @33sturniolo @sturnsxx @thetriplets3 @slashzgirl @hoeforchrizz @shadowthesim @letstrip13
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Hey! I just recently found your Magneto fic and I am absolutely obsessed. Any updates coming in the future?
i’m super glad you enjoyed magneto! this ask has gotten me to finally put a discontinued in the description of magneto. it’s not at ALL because of you in particular, but i’ve realized by putting off adding it to the description i’ll keep giving people false hope. forgive me if i use this ask for a tediously long post describing why exactly i will never update magneto, so i can link it easily for anyone with similar questions in the future. 😭
so. short answer? no. magneto will probably never be updated. i’m really sorry for that. my interests have changed since graduating high school and i don’t really want to write bnha anymore.
long answer?
i started writing magneto pre-pandemic during my junior year of high school. i had seen there was only about a 100 self inserts for bnha at the time and thought “well, if i post something it’ll probably get a lot of attention, since the fandom is growing in popularity a lot and there’s a scarcity here!” 2019 was an interesting year for fanfic in bnha, since it didn't have enough content for the growing eyes looking for it.
i ended up being very correct. too correct. i actively updated magneto over the course of half a year, roughly, and in that time it rapidly climbed in attention. since 2020 ive only updated it about twice(?) and that hasn’t deterred the new readers it’s gotten. i get comments every other day asking about updates.
magneto is currently the most kudo-ed bnha si-oc on the entirety of ao3. which is fucking insane. i don’t think it deserves it, but popularity is rarely about deserving. usually it’s about being just good enough, just novel enough, and being posted at the right time.
but i digress: it doesn’t feel possible for me to update magneto for a variety of reasons.
1) my disinterest in the setting would make any future update disingenuous.
i haven’t been actively into the bnha fandom in about four years now. i don’t really read bnha fic aside from the very occasional si-oc, nor have i kept up with the manga or anime. the only fic i’ve ever written for the fandom is magneto, and it’ll probably always be my only fic for the fandom. (watch me say that and be wrong in the next few years LMAO)
it would be really rude of me to stomp into a space i don’t even like anymore and post something lackluster and lacking in passion. especially with the express intention of gaining more engagement from readers. like it or not, magneto IS the most popular si for bnha, and i think i drive attention away from better books by updating and inadvertently preserving that position in the ranking.
I can't believe no one has written any "self-insert as Bakugou" fanfics yet what a bunch of cowards by the_incidental_author and i have jostled back and forth for that #1 kudo-ed spot for the past five years. which i admit has been fun, but i would very much like for them to overtake me. it’s clear (to me, at least) that they actually enjoy writing bnha more than me and update more often to boot.
i fully welcome ANY fic to take magneto's position at this point, if only so that less people comment how poorly written it is. which leads me into my next point.
2) my writing style has SIGNIFICANTLY changed over the past five years.
when i do my yearly reread of magneto i actively cringe and have to resist the urge to rewrite every chapter in a separate google doc. in any hypothetical world where i do add to magneto, i do a complete rewrite. in no particular order, the things i would change are:
kenzo being defined by three character traits and nothing else. her exhaustion, her mild spite for her father, and her aimless wandering through the plot
better grammar. dear god the grammar errors. dear god the SPELLING ERRORS
the pov characters being more developed and feeling more like Individual People with their own personal motivations and histories that are not defined by what the plot needs from them (cough, reacting to how cool kenzo is)
not just recapping each anime episode and stating what kenzo would do in that situation
placing greater focus on the way quirk society discriminates against those with undesirable quirks and backgrounds. what does it really mean to be the child of a criminal in a world where people assume that sort of thing is hereditary?
kenzo's classmates should've been more classist in general, especially in relation to quirk discrimination. UA is a school only the most wealthy and powerful get into, there's no way there wouldn't be social disconnects that create tension between a dead eyed daughter of a villain and more than a few nepo babies.
if you have any interest in naruto, skyrim, asoiaf or dragon age you've probably read my more recent fics. fluffy clouds and a tinge of wonder, the fic i have updated the most this year, is a really good example of how significantly my writing has evolved since starting magneto in 2019. my technical skill and style have changed enough that it just would be tonally jarring for me to update magneto without outright rewriting everything.
like. im being so fr with you right now, i didn't learn how to start outlining until about a YEAR AGO. magneto was written on a chapter by chapter basis with little idea of where exactly it was going. i implied that there would be a future confrontation between kenzo and her father, but i didn't have any idea of HOW that would occur or even what the consequences of it would be.
adding to magneto as it is would be like trying to add a sleeve to a shirt that's missing it's entire back panel and most of it's front. i'd be playing catch up with the plot and end up having to rewrite previous chapters anyways.
3) bnha commentors have been kind of really mean to me compared to other fandoms i've written for LMAO
ok. please don't draw and quarter me for this. MOST commentors have been extremely complimentary, and kind. besides the occasional bomb of like seven comments in my inbox of ten hearts from one user (which, sweet, but please don't do that) the bnha fandom has been totally fine.
but a very small minority have been really pushy about making me update a fic i have clearly not touched in two years, and realistically haven't actively updated in four. from comments just saying "wow this is great. update soon." to DETAILED reviews of how bad my fic is and how they can't believe how garbage like magneto is so popular.
which like. i don't feel personally attacked by? i fully agree that magneto is bad for the previously stated reasons. i wouldn't read magneto if i were a casual reader and hadn't written it. usually the second kind of comment really annoys me because of it's presumption of importance and for how soul crushing it would have been for sixteen-year-old me to read.
bnha as a fandom, especially in recent years, has felt more and more like they treat fic like something that is created in a vacuum. souless content that exists for readers to consume. the comments don't go to an inbox, they go to a void, so really it doesn't matter if i say something really belligerent to an author i don't know about a Self Insert Fanfic They Wrote In Between Rehearsals For Their High School Play.
but whatever. if it had just been me experiencing that i would've written it off as like just my fic, but a close friend and frequent cowriter of mine Reavv has dealt with this a lot more than me.
they wrote It's a like a time travel comedy, without the comedy, another very popular bnha fic, and had to private it because people were going to their other UNRELATED fics and badgering them to update it. people still go into their comments insisting they unprivate it, oblivious to the fact that every time they ask it adds another year to reavv's internal timer for when they will.
a combination of my own experiences and reavv's have completely put me off of writing bnha i'll be fr. even if i was still in the fandom, the majority of my fics will always be about fucking dragon age and skyrim. i do not want random bnha fans coming into my dragon age fics and, AFTER NOT READING THE FIC, saying that since im active i should clearly update my bnha fics. that's a nightmare scenario for me.
in conclusion
i am so glad that people like magneto, i'm glad that i wrote magneto. the initial jump in readers i got from magneto gave me the confidence to write other fics, and the alternating pov format is a staple of most of my writing now. some of the comments i got for that magneto when i was a teenager were the only things that kept my ass going.
but magneto is never being updated. i don't even think it's gonna be rewritten. i really am sorry about that, but it is what it is. thank you for reading it, thank you for loving it, thank you for feeling ambivalent about it. good talk.
btw to the original asker, again. this is NOT a rant directed at you, you just inspired some Thoughts in me and i had to let them loose.
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