#(Short one just to get back into thingsss)

[askchuuyanakahara]

AWEEEE YOURE SO GAY CHUUYA THIS IS SO CUTE

@bioluminescentcat

Chuuya: "But, thank you. I'll be okay. After all, I know how to deal with Dazai."

Chuuya: "I'm sure Dazai will eat anything as long as it's mainly crab.."

@azapofinspiration

Chuuya: "Well, as long as it's not overcooked, that is!"

Chuuya: ".. yes please."

Commissions/Ko-fi

[smartkookiee]

How to Lose A Guy in 30 Days! || Ch.3 — jjk.

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。 ❥pairing: Jungkook x Reader (she/her, afab) ❥genre/rating: strangers to lovers, 18+ ❥chapter warnings/tags: software engineer!Jungkook, writer!Reader, fluff, 2000 rom com vibes, making out, flirting. drinking, swearing, crying, sweet pining Jungkook, Jungkooks past comes up (boooooo), ex situationship thingsss, its a sweet chapter and they make out and I love it, legit the easiest chapter I have written so far ❥word-count: 10.7k ❥Series Masterlist Previous Chapter ||❥|| Next chapter ❥Playlist fic is cross posted to ao3 - send an ask or comment on post to be added to the tag list. ❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。

Day 3

“And you really believe this guy is going to work for this?” Yoongi said, looking over your notes and layout of the entire plan you had.

“Absolutely sir.” You nod. 

It was the Tuesday following you and Jungkook’s date. You two had gotten some dinner and then you went home. You tried not to let that text ruin your mood but it did bring you down for the meal. You and Jungkook just talked more about what you do and things you liked. Just easy conversation and sharing social media, small things that you could mask your disappointment with and give cheerful and in depth answers. 

That text sucked to see. It sucked to see that he made this promise to be serious but he was just playing you. To be fair, you didn’t know him. It was your first date and he didn’t owe you anything. It would just make this easier. 

"Already past the first date. You’re jumping in head first." Yoongi mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "So, what’s next?"

"The plan is to keep things moving. I only have thirty days, so I wanted to start strong. The first date was just to break the ice. Now, I'm aiming to stay in touch throughout the weeks—get more involved and annoying to make sure I stay on his radar." 

Yoongi chuckled. "And what does annoying entail in this case?"

You grinned, feeling a mischievous spark. "I was thinking some things like being a little too clingy. Getting a bit too personal too soon. Social media stalking, maybe even acting overly sensitive to anything he says about 'dating' or 'us.' Just... trying to inch my way into his daily life, so he can’t quite shake me off. Then next week I will take things to the next step."

Yoongi nodded in approval. "I like it. Thorough and unexpected, just what we want. Let’s round back around next week and check-in. We’ll go over your progress and adjust as needed. You’re off to a good start."

You gave him a grateful nod. "Thank you, sir."

With a wave of his hand, “Now go write, be amazing.” Yoongi dismissed you, and you returned to your desk, your mind already spinning with ideas. You were ready to dive into this full force, but there was one small snag, a small but persistent worry. You’d sent Jungkook a quick text yesterday, just a light “good morning” and a note about enjoying the date, but there hadn’t been a reply yet.

It wasn’t a big deal but already not responding to a text after a whole day was not sitting well with you.

Settling yourself down into your chair, that small disappointment from seeing that text on Jungkook's phone was still nagging at you. Your friends had warned you not to get attached, to keep things light, but you’d ignored them. They called this from a million miles away and you, like an idiot, let your guard down like always. 

Well, not this time. This was just a job. No more emotional slip-ups. 

“Damn it, I’m a writer.” You mumbled under your breath. “This is just research. He’s just a random guy.”

With renewed determination, you opened your laptop, fingers flying across the keyboard as you drafted the first section of your article. Reliving the details of your first date, you kept it light and short because this wasn’t about how the first date went great, it’ll be about everything that happens now. You had your plan ready for action.

You were finally hitting a flow, words forming exactly as you wanted, when you heard footsteps stop just outside your cubicle. 

“Special delivery!” Ann, one of the front-desk clerks, appeared with a bright smile, holding a small bouquet. "Someone’s got an admirer!"

She set down a small bouquet of sunflowers. The choice of flower surprised you most of all, you loved sunflowers. They were tied together with a purple ribbon and card attached to the end. Opening it, “A little bit of sun for a rainy first date. Thank you for listening to my fish facts. JK.” 

“Aww, that’s so sweet.” Ann cooed, lingering a moment to admire the flowers. She shot you a wink before heading back to the front, and you tried to keep your reaction composed.

You couldn't help but feel that small spark of joy, despite yourself, as you read the card. The sunflowers, your favorite, were unexpected and so charming. Tied with a cute ribbon that added a touch of thoughtfulness. You’d never been given flowers by anyone other than your parents and that one college boyfriend. Yet here they were, sent to your office, just for you.

If this had been any other situation, you’d probably be blushing and grinning like an idiot, falling head over heels way too fast. But the reminder of what you knew—what he was likely doing, the kind of guy he really was—kept you grounded. 

As you stared at the bouquet, lost in thought, the telltale squeak of a chair wheeling over caught your attention.

“Wow someone’s special.” Ronnie rolled right next to you. “Are those from who I think they are from?” 

 "Looks like it." You replied casually, flashing her the card. "Just… a little thank you gift."

Ronnie waggled her eyebrows. "Oh, just a thank you gift? The guy sent you your favorite flowers, after only one date. You sure you aren’t already planning your future house décor with him?"

Rolling your eyes, you turned back to your laptop, brushing off the teasing. "Maybe," But the flicker of disappointment crept back in. "If he hadn't got that text on our date. Then maybe this would be a sweet gesture. There's no way I'm getting attached to someone who’s probably chatting up another girl at the same time."

Ronnie gave you a skeptical look. "You still haven’t told me what it said, just that you went from mildly hopeful to permanently sour about him. Especially after you begged me and Jin to let you pick another guy before the date even ended."

You sighed, leaning back in your chair. "It was… friendly , if you know what I mean."

“Oh, friendly friendly?” She echoed, her voice heavy with implication. She winced sympathetically. "I’m sorry."

You shook your head, swiveling to face her. "No, no. We’re not doing the whole pity party thing. No look at Y/N she got fooled by another asshole again. This is work.  I knew what I was signing up for with this guy, and it’s why we chose him. I can handle it."

Ronnie raised her brows. "Yeah, sure. You sound totally fine."

“I am fine.” You insisted, forcing a smile. “It’s all part of the assignment, right? A totally detached, unbiased observation. Think of me as an objective researcher.”

“Okay Dr. Detachment. How are you going to respond to these?” Ronnie glanced down to the flowers and then back up to you. 

You opened your mouth to answer but paused, glancing at the flowers. You already knew what you wanted to do, but still… you weren’t quite sure how to play it yet. 

Meanwhile, across town, Jungkook was still buzzing from his own bold move. He and Hoseok were walking down the street on their lunch break, and Hoseok eyed him suspiciously. Jungkook filled him on the details with a little too much spring in his step, never a way Hoseok had ever seen Jungkook act after a date. 

“So… the date went that well, huh?” Hoseok finally asked, giving Jungkook a smirk. “You’re practically skipping.”

“Hey, I am not. ” Jungkook grumbled, trying to keep his voice casual as he filled Hoseok in on the date. It had gone smoother than he’d expected, and he couldn’t ignore that spark of excitement. 

Jungkook had done a little social media stalking when he spent the day with his parents yesterday. You used a sunflower in your bio and in a lot of your posts, so he took a guess that they may have been your favorite flower. It did take him a little tracking down though, since sunflowers were going out of season. 

Hoseok grinned, giving Jungkook an approving nod. “So… flowers and a corny note? You’re going for gold.”

“Exactly,” Jungkook replied, a proud glint in his eyes. “I’m hoping she liked it. She’s into romantic movies and such so I thought it would be a good gesture.” Plus it was a perfect opening note since sending flowers is another classic romantic movie troupe. “She should have gotten them by now.” He checked his phone yet again, his screen still frustratingly blank.

Hoseok raised an eyebrow to him, “Does it bother you that she’s not immediately giving you all of her attention.” 

Jungkook snorted, “No.” He paused but the silence between them hung a little too long for Hoseok to be convinced, “Okay maybe a little.” 

Hoseok let out a laugh, shaking his head with an amused grin. "Wow. Didn’t know you were secretly a heartthrob under all that cool indifference. Who are you, and what did you do with Jungkook?"

“Shut up.” Jungkook muttered, fighting a smile as he looked away. “I’m just… giving this a real shot. Like I said I would.”

“And you’re stressing out over whether she liked your flowers or not.” Hoseok added, raising an eyebrow. “Must be a real first for you.”

Jungkook shrugged, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I just thought I’d make an effort, alright? ” He glanced at his phone again, his thumb hovering over the screen before he stuffed it back into his pocket.

“Why do I feel like the grand romantic gesture wasn’t entirely about the bet?” Hoseok chuckled, giving him a playful nudge.

“It’s not because I’m actually dating her remember?” Jungkook replied, a little too quickly, then caught himself. 

“You know,” Hoseok said, tilting his head, “there’s no law that says you can’t text her first, right? Might even make you seem… interested.”

Jungkook scoffed, his gaze glued to the sidewalk. “I don’t want to look desperate.”

“Dude, come on. Desperate is sending $50 sunflowers in November.” Hoseok replied, laughing as Jungkook scowled.

Jungkook sighed, but a faint smile tugged at his lips. “I just really enjoyed spending time with her. It’s different.”

“So shoot her a text, lover boy.” Hoseok urged, hit Jungkook lightly on the back of the head. “All the smooth moves in the world won’t matter if she doesn’t know you’re into her.”

Jungkook’s phone buzzed just as Hoseok delivered his advice, catching him off guard. He glanced down and saw your name on the screen. His eyes lit up, and a grin broke across his face—so wide and giddy that it almost unnerved Hoseok.

“Speak of the devil.” Jungkook muttered, barely containing his excitement.

“Well answer it.” He shoves his shoulder.

 Jungkook fumbles with his phone and steps off to the side to answer, “You’ve reached Sunflowers on the Go. How may I be of service?” 

You hum on the other end of the line in amusement, “So it’s the strangest thing. I got this delivery of sunflowers here on my desk but I don’t remember placing an order.” 

“Hmm, strange indeed.” Jungkook replied, grinning. “Turns out we only deliver to Composure magazine. No one else.”

What Jungkook wasn't aware of is you had him on speaker phone so Ronnie was also able to hear him. She brought her hand to her face at his cheesy responses. You also shook your head at absurdity. 

“Oh, is that so?” You teased. “Well, there was a little card attached… signed by someone named ‘JK.’”

“Yep, that’s the guy. Don’t know him personally, but he seems pretty cool.” Jungkook said, leaning into the joke. Looking over at Hoseok who was drawing hearts in the air around Jungkook, Jungkook just rolled his eyes.

“Hmmm, I don’t know anyone named ‘JK’. Guess I’ll just have to throw these away then.” You play with the ribbon in your fingers.

“Whoa, whoa, hey! That’s mean!” He protested, laughing. You laughed as well at his protest.

“Okay but seriously how did you know these were my favorite?” You touch one of the petals, sunflowers were definitely out of season so he had to go to some work to find really fresh ones. “Or was it just a lucky guess?”

“I may or may not have noticed a pattern on your socials.” His tone was sheepish and you just shook your head.

“Ah, so you were stalking me.” You nod, you notice Ronnie roll on over back to her desk. Coming back with her phone in hand. She was typing frantically.

“Maybe a little bit.” Jungkook let a beat pass, “I guess more importantly do you like them?” 

“They are very beautiful. Especially for this time of year.” You sigh, the gesture really was sweet. Might be fast for Jungkook to send flowers this early on but still sweet.

Jungkook let out a sigh he hadn't realized he had even been holding in, “I do have to confess something. I was hoping this would make an opening for me to invite you to dinner.” He shifted from side to side, “Well I would be making dinner.”

“Inviting me over? Wow, bold move. So soon.” You smile, Ronnie giving you a knowing look and you brushing her off. “Would I have to do anything?”

“I will take care of it all, I need to prove I can make a mean carbonara.” Hoseok gave Jungkook a look like he had no idea he had any cooking skill. “How about tonight?”

“I have plans tonight.” Which wasn’t a lie, you were going to work on some writing tonight. “How about Thursday?” 

“Perfect. You’re gonna be impressed, I already know it.” Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip. 

“I’m sure I will.” 

With some goodbyes you both hung up the phone. You could suddenly feel your heart racing in your chest and you mentally scolded yourself. You needed to remember none of this was long term. Which Ronnie was taking the lead in reminding you about.

“For someone who claims to be totally normal about all of this, you sure are smitten.” She crossed her arms and eyebrow raised observing you, “He totally knew these would work on you.” 

“I am totally normal about all of this. This is perfect, we are going on a second date and I get to start implementing my plan. Everything is on track.” You say but Ronnie is looking back to her phone, “What are you looking at?”

“I’m trying to find his Instagram.” She continued typing, not looking back up to you. 

“Oh he doesn’t have one.” You remembered from dinner on Sunday. It wasn’t abnormal for someone to not have one but Ronnie was surprised. 

“Boo, how am I supposed to dig up dirt on him?” Ronnie slumped down into her chair. You had actually done a little digging of your own the evening before though. 

“Pretty sure that’s my job and I already did. He has twitter but he doesn’t post often. He keeps a pretty low presence online so I wasn’t able to learn much that way.” You sigh, it was actually a little refreshing although it did leave you guessing. Makes it tough to be intrusive in the next steps of your plan. “By the way, can you cry on command?”

Ronnie raises an eyebrow at your request, “I don’t but I think we both know who might.” 

❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀。• *₊°。 ❀°。❀ • *₊

Day 5

Thursday arrived, you and Jungkook spent the entire day texting back and forth just talking about whatever came to your minds. You found any excuse to ask him any random question. Send him random things you genuinely thought were funny. He also had something funny to say back or respond with. So you just let that be it, just texting and talking as much as possible. 

Jungkook had spent the night before doing a practice carbonara. Watching some guy on youtube walking him through the steps. It turned out pretty good but he knew he could make a better one tonight. He got really nice ingredients that hopefully would push it over the edge. He really wanted to make a good first impression with his cooking. He had no issue inviting you over so soon after knowing you, he felt really comfortable with you already. 

He hoped it wasn’t too forward, but you didn’t seem to mind. 

He had a bottle of mid tier white wine in his fridge and he also got a red one because he wasn’t sure what you would prefer. He also wasn't sure what would pair better with a carbonara. Jungkook dressed his table up all nice, it was nothing special but a candle classes it up a little bit. Classic romantic things. It felt somewhat awkward and made him cringe but also no one else was around to see his effort but you, and you would appreciate it. 

Or at least he hoped you would. 

He then heard a knock from his front door. He thought it was a little early for you to be here but he didn’t mind, he still was making the food and he could pour you a glass while you waited. He trotted to his door, a smile on his face as he swung the door open with some gusto, only to have his features fall. 

“Channel?” Jungkook's face twisted into a confused but unamused expression, as she brushed past him into the apartment. “Please, come on in.” He said, his voice clearly sarcastic.

Channel looked like she was dressed for a night out and not for a very cold November evening at that. She had her hair curled and bouncy like it usually was, and the highest heel she could comfortably wear, clicking her way around Jungkook's apartment.

“I want my scarf back,” She had her arms crossed, strolling into the apartment with ease. She had been here enough times to know where everything was. “and since you won’t respond to my calls, here I am in person.”

“Okay, you couldn’t have texted me about this?” Jungkook let his front door close and followed after her through his apartment, as she tried to look under things and around furniture. 

She laughed bitterly, “Last I checked, you’ve been avoiding my texts as well.” She continued her hunt around his space. Jungkook getting a little peeved since he spent a good amount of time trying to make his space look good for your arrival. Your arrival which would be really soon and this was not a good look for a guy as you clocked as ‘unserious’.

"I kind of have a life, you know? I can’t answer every text you send.” Jungkook kept his eyes peeled for the scarf, more than ready for this encounter to end.

“Yeah, right.” Channel’s voice dripped with disbelief as she followed him further into the apartment, her arms crossed. “I could tell Hoseok was covering for you.” She paused mid-sentence, catching sight of the dining table set for two, a soft candle flickering in the center. Her expression turned suspicious. “And… what is that ?”

Jungkook looked back to the table and then back to her, acting like it’s always looked like that. “Nothing, now where is that scarf?”

“Your place is so… spotless.” She murmured, her eyes scanning every corner of his living room, taking in the lit lamps, the neatly arranged coffee table, and the faint smell of food coming from the kitchen. “Setting a mood , are we?”

“I mean, I clean often. I’m not a slob.” He replied defensively, trying to wave off her assumptions, though he could see she was putting it all together, one detail at a time.

Channel sniffs the air for a moment and then stalks over to the kitchen, “You’re cooking? You don’t cook.”

“Whenever he hung out, cooking really wasn’t a part of the schedule.” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck, aware that he was pushing her buttons. “I cook all the time.” 

“Oh, I see.” She replied, her tone flat but her eyes flashing. She tilted her head, a cruel smile tugging at her lips. “So, who is she, then?” 

Jungkook sighed, not fighting her anymore, “No one, and she is coming over soon, let’s find your scarf so you can leave.” 

But Channel didn’t budge, her eyes narrowing as she crossed her arms tighter. 

“Oh no, no, no. You’re not brushing this off like that. Nice napkins, a candle? You set a damn table , Jungkook. What is this, some kind of date?” Her voice grew sharper with each word, anger and betrayal clear in her expression.

“That’s not really your business is it?” Jungkook rubbed the back of his neck, he needed to get her out of here. 

Channel let out a bitter laugh, shaking her head. “Not my business? You know what’s funny? All this time, I thought maybe we were building toward something real. And now, I see you’re doing that with someone else ?” She scoffed, her face hardening. “What, you just didn’t want this with me?”

Her words hung in the air, clear betrayal laced them. Him and Channel only had a sexual relationship, it’s what they agreed upon from the start. Sometime in there Channel developed some feelings for him and after a few months asked if they could take this more seriously. Jungkook wasn’t ready for that kind of step so they ended it all together. So now this all looks really bad. 

Except, he thought, it’s none of her business if he did change his mind. He never lied to her, and he was always very clear that he did not want a relationship. He really didn’t, and this thing with you, although a part of a bet, was something he was dipping his toes into. 

“Channel, that’s not it.” Jungkook said, sighing. “I really didn’t want a relationship.” He hesitated, then finally admitted, “But I met someone, and…we’re trying things out and it’s brand new. So please leave.”

Channel’s face twisted in anger, her voice rising as she spat, “Oh, I get it.” She tossed her hair over her shoulder, looking around his place with fresh resentment. “I bet you’ll dump her as soon as you’ve slept together a few more times. Because that’s what you do , Jungkook.”

He clenched his fists, frustrated but trying to stay calm. “You know, I’ve had enough of this.” He said quietly, finally spotting the scarf stuffed into a seat cushion. He pulled it out, tossing it to her.

She caught it and threw it around her neck with a sneer. “So what is it about her, huh? What makes her so ‘special’ that suddenly you’re willing to commit ?” She shot him a glare, stepping closer. “Maybe I should stick around and meet this one-of-a-kind woman. See what all the fuss is about.”

“No,” Jungkook said firmly, guiding her toward the door. “You’re leaving, now.”

She jerked away from his touch, folding her arms defiantly. “What? Is she going to be here soon?” Her eyes gleamed with spite. “You don’t want her to know what you’re really like?”

Jungkook let out a slow breath, gathering his patience. “No. I think she would be an adult and actually talk with me about it.” He replied, surprising himself with the honesty in his voice. “Whatever she finds out—that’s for me to tell her and her to decide. So, goodnight, Channel.”

She stared at him, anger simmering as she pulled open the door, glancing back with an icy glare. “Screw you, Jungkook.” With that, she stormed out, letting the door slam behind her.

At the same time she opened the door, you were stepping out of the elevator and onto Jungkook’s floor. You spotted a girl storming down the hallway after yelling inside a doorway, as she passed you muttering a quick “Excuse me” without a second glance. You had an uneasy feeling about her, especially as she walked away from the very apartment number Jungkook had given you. You double-checked, confirming the number on your phone with the one she had just exited, and the sinking feeling intensified.

“Jesus Jungkook. At least have some class and spread out your dates so we don’t bump into each other in the hall.” You whisper under your breath, but you still had to go through with this as if you didn’t immediately feel a sense of dread. 

You took a steadying breath, willing yourself to ignore the uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. After all, you were here now, and nothing had technically happened to prove your suspicions. So you pushed them down, knocked on the door, and tried to keep your expression neutral, reminding yourself you were maybe a minute early—nothing too crazy.

The door opened after a brief pause, and Jungkook’s face shifted from guarded to bright relief when he saw you standing there. His lips curled into a wide, easy smile, like he was genuinely glad to see you. His hair was a little tousled, his shirt a snug, tucked into jeans that fit him perfectly, emphasizing his lean frame. He looked relaxed, casually put together, which was somehow infuriatingly charming.

“Hey,” He greeted, his voice warm, stepping aside so you could enter. “Come on in.”

“Hi.” You replied, acting as if nothing felt off. 

You stepped past him, letting your eyes flick around the apartment, taking in the details—the tidy coffee table, a low hum of music playing through the room. He had a nice living room set up around a TV on the wall, the dining setup with an actual candle in the center. He’d put thought into this, that much was obvious. You couldn’t deny it was sweet, even if it left you slightly off-balance, considering what you’d walked past in the hallway moments ago.

“Okay now looking at it, the candle maybe was a little cheesy.” Jungkook cringed at himself looking at the little set up. You shake your head and wave him off. 

“No, I think it's adorable. You even got a scentless one so it doesn’t cover the smell of the food.” You take a seat at the table, “I’m prepared to be wow’d like you promised me.” 

“I unfortunately got a little bit delayed so I am not quite done yet.” Jungkook was shuffling his way back into the kitchen, “But make yourself at home.”

“Okay.” You smile as he rounds his way back into his kitchen, he watches you get back up and walk around his living space. Almost like he was waiting for approval. Luckily Channel hadn’t trashed the place. 

You took note of all of the little things he chose to have on display, some books, a few polaroid cameras and some polaroid's on the walls, as well as a record collection that was lined the side of the living room on some shelves. You thumbed through some of them to see what was available. Impressed with some of his picks, some similar to your own. His place wasn’t terribly big. Classic little bachelor pad. You had noticed he had chosen to keep what you could only assume was his bedroom door closed. 

It was something Jungkook thought way too hard about, if he left it open was it like saying he wanted to sleep with you tonight? Would it be way too forward? Or was closing it just as weird? Was closing it like telling you that he didn’t really want you in his space? He went back and forth and then opted to close it to maybe say he wasn’t expecting anything to happen, although he wouldn’t mind if it did. 

You on the other hand didn’t barely give it a thought other than noticing it. You picked up one of his polaroid cameras and brought it with you. You round your way back to his kitchen and stand off to the side watching him work. He was pretty zoned in on what he was doing, everything was really smelling great. You usually found it pretty hot if a guy could cook well. 

Jungkook took an opportunity to try some of his work and you took a photo right at the moment he took a bite, his eyes widened right at the moment he realized he'd been caught.

The picture came out and you set it down to develop. 

“I’m sure that will be super cute.” You laugh, setting down his camera as well. He laughs and you look over his shoulder to see how close he is to being done.

“Coming to inspect my work?” Jungkook glances to his side, seeing you peering over his shoulder to see what he was doing. He was almost done cooking. 

“Maybe.” You tease, “I’m a sucker for people who can cook. I’m just… okay at it.” 

“Well,” Jungkook stops what he is doing and reaches for a drawer next to him pulling out a fork and twirling some of the noodles onto it. Then holding the fork out to you. “I’m ready for your final score.”

You paused. Debating if you should eat the food off the fork or if you should take the fork. Would it send the wrong message if you ate off it? Or was that exactly what he was doing? The fork wasn’t very close to your mouth but not crazy far. You decided to just take the fork from him and take the bite. 

It ended up being really good carbonara. 

“Oh my god.” You smile chewing, “It’s really fucking good. Ten out of ten.” 

Jungkook did a small fist pump to himself, tucking his bottom lip between his teeth hiding a smile. “I’ll admit, I did a practice run yesterday and it was just okay but I’m glad this one is good.” Jungkook then took a bite of it himself with another fork. Jungkook upon tasting his own food smacking his own forehead and leaning back. 

Causing you to laugh at his dramatic reaction. 

You glanced at the polaroid on the counter picking it up to see if it had developed yet, it wasn’t fully done but you could see mostly what the picture would look like. You showed it to Jungkook and he smiled, “Ten out of ten picture. Best one of me yet.” 

You looked at it and he did look like a deer caught in the headlights but it was funny, you absentmindedly put it in your pocket. 

“I’ll admit I’m wowed, to be fair I’ve only had carbonara like one other time.” You lean against one of his kitchen counters watching him as he plates the pasta for the two of you.

“I’ll still take the high praise. Now, should we do a white or a red wine?” 

“Hmm, a red works better with this I think.” You nod. 

Jungkook tells you where you can find his bottle opener and some glasses. You managed to get the cork screw into the cork but seem to be lacking the ability to actually pull the cork out of the bottle. Jungkook finds some amusement in watching your struggle but you persist. You’ve opened plenty of wine bottles in the past, this shouldn’t be difficult. 

“Having some trouble?” Jungkook watched you try and fail to pull the cork out a third time.

“Absolutely not. The cork and I are just having a disagreement.” You shake off your hand a few times and then get a better grip on the screw pulling upward as best you can. With some pathetic struggle, you really swear you can feel the cork moving. You let out a sigh as you let it go again. 

“May I?” 

“I swear I’m not that weak.” This honestly was just embarrassing at this point, so much so you have to face away from Jungkook at your next attempt. 

You make one final grip on the corkscrew and twist and tug, finally the corkscrew and cork pop free. Not before your hand comes straight, hard and fast, into your own face.

“Oh shit,” Jungkook’s face changes as he sees you basically punch your own face. “Are you okay?” 

You did dizzy yourself slightly but you set the bottle down. Feeling your face, hoping you hadn’t broken your nose although it certainly would be bruised or sore at least, “Okay maybe I should never open wine ever again.” 

Your nose then began to pulse with pain, this definitely wasn’t a part of your plan for sure. You covered it with one of your hands but Jungkook pulled it away. “Here let me look at it.”

“Please tell me it’s not bleeding.” You groan, and Jungkook places his hands on both of your cheeks looking at it. You match his face and he looks genuinely concerned. 

“Well, I’m not a doctor but you’re still pretty cute.” He then smiles and rubs one of his thumbs on your cheek. “That’s my professional assessment anyways.”

“Okay, but it still really hurts.” You say, letting your own hands rest on his wrists. 

“Hey, it’s probably just a bit sore—no blood, no bruise.” He gently tilts your head from side to side in a silly, exaggerated inspection that makes you giggle. 

It’s quiet between you both for a moment, Jungkook still holding your face. He just looks over your face for a moment, your nose was red but it was probably going to be okay. He had hurt his own nose a few times to know if it was broken. 

Jungkook’s hands still on your cheeks, eyes meeting as he studies your face. It’s easy to get lost in the warmth of his gaze and how close he is. A little too easy. For a second, you find yourself softening, tempted by the thought of leaning in and just letting yourself enjoy this. But then, just in time, you snap back to reality, realizing you can use this little mishap to your advantage. This damage to your nose might have actually opened up a window for what you had been working yourself up too.

You pull your face away from Jungkook and shake your head, breathing in a heavy breath. Jungkook looked a little confused but then after a moment you were crying. You were crying? 

“Hey,” He placed a hand on your shoulder, “I was just teasing you.” 

You wave your hands in a frantic show, your voice cracking just a little. “No, no, it’s not you. It’s just….” You let out a little sob. “I’m just so clumsy! And you made this beautiful dinner, and I’ve totally ruined it!”

Jungkook looks utterly bewildered now, glancing around as if the answer to your sudden breakdown might be hiding in his kitchen cabinets. “Really, I promise, you didn’t mess anything up. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He squeezes your shoulder reassuringly, almost nervously.

“Ugh, I can't believe this. I’m totally ruining the mood.” You wipe your tears away. 

It was a good little performance. One that was planned.

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The evening before.

Day 04

“The art of crying on command.” Here you were again. Ronnie sitting next to you. Jin pacing back and forth with his notepad once again. Unfortunately for you, Jin was the person to have expertise on this subject being an acting teacher. 

“Okay I already regret this.” You try to stand up but Ronnie pulls you back down onto Jin’s couch. 

“This will help you!” Ronnie protested and leaned on you once you were settled back in. “This can be a part of your over dramatic persona you use.” 

“Exactly! It gives you another tool in the toolbox for the charade you signed up for!” Jin pointed at you with his pen and waving it around. 

“Fine, continue.” You wave for him to go on and Jin grins. 

“Thank you! Now, there are three main techniques for crying on command.” he begins, pacing dramatically. “Some people can just… do it. They snap their fingers and—bam! Tears.” He snaps his fingers for effect. “Others need to go to a sad memory. Something personal and emotional, something that really tugs at the heartstrings. And then, of course, some people have to resort to…ahem, creative methods. Pepper in the sinuses, maybe a little poke to the eye…”

“Let’s please avoid self-injury.” You interrupt dryly, giving him a look.

“Fair enough. Let’s start with the basics and see if you’re a natural.” Jin says, jotting a note on his pad. “Close your eyes, focus, and let’s see if you can will the tears into existence.”

You sit up straight, trying your best to summon tears on command, forcing your eyes to feel…sad? Your face contorts into what you hope is a tearful expression, but as you blink, nothing happens. Your eyes are as dry as ever.

“Nothing?” Jin sighs and makes a dramatic strike-through on his notepad, looking deeply disappointed.

“Yeah, sorry.” You mutter. “Nothing.”

“Okay,” Jin strikes something out on his notepad and you roll your eyes at his dramatics. “ Cannot cry on command. So let’s try a memory, or is there a movie scene you can’t think about because it gets you teared up?” 

You sit and think, you have some sad memories from your childhood that you bring to the front of your mind. Reminiscing on them, although some things are sad or bittersweet, nothing tear jerking. 

“Dry.” Ronnie leans over and looks closely in your eyes, so much so you have to shove her face away from you. 

“Dry.” Jin repeats and writes on his notepad. 

“Maybe try going to the dark place?” Ronnie snaps and looks at you. “You always get really teary eyed when you think about dying alone.”

“Okay rude.” You sigh, it wasn’t untrue. Whenever you came back from dates that were unsuccessful or you wasted your time on someone who just wanted something casual you found yourself going to, what you and Ronnie have deemed, the dark place. “I don’t like thinking about that.” 

“It’s for science!” Ronnie cheers, throwing her arms up like it's supposed to make it more fun or something. 

You groan, sinking deeper into the couch.  “I don’t know if this is such a great idea, honestly. When I start spiraling about my love life, it’s not exactly…mild.” You look down, already feeling a little prick of sadness starting to stir.

Jin comes and squats in front of you, “Well then just go to the edge of it and don’t think about the whole picture. What about dying alone usually gets you crying?” 

You think for a second, and finally, the words come out quietly. “I guess… I cry when I start thinking that maybe I won’t ever find someone who’s…just right for me.”

Ronnie lets out a soft “aww” and nudges you gently.

You let yourself feel it for a moment—the uncertainty, the nagging doubt that, maybe, you’ll keep hitting dead ends. And with that, you feel a familiar, bittersweet ache starting to well up.

Jin nods approvingly, seeing a slight glimmer in your eyes. “Excellent.” He says, jotting down, potential crying trigger identified.

The vulnerability hangs in the air, and you let yourself lean into it a little. Lately, it felt harder and harder to keep going on dates, to believe that love might work out someday. You always seemed to be either too much or not enough—loving too deeply, too slowly, too intensely. It left you feeling drained, to the point where dating felt less like romance and more like a chore.

But with Jungkook, for once, you’d felt...hopeful. Like there was someone who genuinely wanted to share a moment, who put effort into making sure you had a good time. As unintentional as it was, you’d started to feel a little spark, considering the circumstances of your forced meeting. But as soon as you’d started to believe it, you reminded yourself it was all part of the act. You couldn’t let yourself actually believe it. You got your hopes up again , and they were ripped out from under you… again . 

So you had slowly felt as time went on, you were losing sight of finding the one.  

Then without even realizing it, you had a few stray tears fall from your eyes. 

“Boom!” Jin erupted and sprang to his feet, “We have tears!”

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You gripped onto that feeling you let it force a few more tears out of your eyes. Unfortunately you did not avoid the personal injury part of the tears. So this was going really well for you. 

You take a shaky breath, letting a few more tears roll down, making sure the sniffle that follows sounds especially pitiful. “Maybe I should just go home.” You say, voice wavering. “This along with my day… it’s all just been too much. You probably think I’m completely insane.”

You manage to start walking toward the door. Jungkook then panics for a moment, how did we go from laughing at you injuring your nose to crying and saying you’re going home? He felt like he had jumped three steps or something. You start toward the front door but Jungkook stepped around you, stopping you. 

“Wait what?” Jungkook looked confused, “How did we get here? I don’t want you to leave.”

You sniff even louder, adding just the right amount of snotty dramatics. “No, I should. You barely know me, and here I am—an emotional wreck in your kitchen. It’s… it’s too much.”

“And? You just hit yourself in the nose really hard. I would be a little embarrassed and want to leave too.” Jungkook places a hand on your arm, trying to comfort you. “Besides, isn't the whole point of going on dates to get to know each other better?”

“I guess.” You wipe your face again, “I don’t know… I didn’t mean to just… fall apart like this.”

Jungkook sighs a little relieved, that could have spiraled further. “And just so you know, I don’t think you’re crazy at all.”

“Well it’s still early, I haven't had a chance to go full blown crazy yet.” Which gets a laugh out of both you and Jungkook. 

“Well I can deal with that I think.” He gives you a small, reassuring smile. “Besides, the food is still good. Wine is still out and last I checked a bruised nose doesn’t stop you from eating.” 

“Wait, is it actually bruising?” You reflexively go up to touch it, definitely tender to the touch and Jungkook chuckles a little. 

“I’m teasing. It’s only a little red.” He takes your hand and pulls you back into his apartment, with a little reluctance from you. “Stay, at least for a little while. I’m not going to let you walk out of here feeling like this.”

You blink up at him, playing up a hint of uncertainty, but inside, you’re genuinely a little taken aback. “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do.” He tilts his head to the side trying to meet your eyes, that had been darting everywhere else out of real embarrassment. “Look, I don’t care if you cry, I’m the biggest cry baby I know!”

You manage a small, hesitant smile, as if he’s starting to get through to you. “I find that hard to believe.” 

Jungkook scoffs, feigning insult. “Oh, don’t underestimate me. Those ‘lost puppy finds his way home’ commercials? I’m done. I’m over here pretending there’s dust in my eyes.”

You laugh again, shaking your head. “Okay, maybe I believe you… just a little.”

“There we go!” He looks genuinely pleased, his expression softening as he sees you relax. “So, if I’m willing to admit my crybaby tendencies, it’s only fair you stick around for dinner, right?” He tucks his bottom lip into his mouth in anticipation of your answer. 

“Alright, I’ll stay.” You say it with an air of nonchalance, trying to mask the small spark of mischief hidden behind your agreement. It earns you a relieved, borderline triumphant smile from Jungkook.

“Phew! You’re sparing me from a whole night of wondering if my cooking scared you off for good.” He grins, his dramatic sigh punctuating his relief.

“Oh, please.” You say, rolling your eyes, feeling the perfect opening for a light jab. “If anything, the food is what convinced me to stay.”

Jungkook then serves dinner for the both of you. You both fall into easy conversation as you eat, he really did do a great job with the food. He was very considerate of making sure you needed anything else or pouring more wine when you wanted it. As well as making you laugh at almost every single turn. You really do get it why he got girls to go home with him so easily, between this and your first date the amount of confidence and charm that exudes from him is palpable in the air. 

Jungkook would never show it but his lack of practice with dating has actually made this date and your last the most nervous he has been in a while. Jungkook’s mind is racing, carefully cataloging every response you make, every laugh, every nod. He wants—needs—this to go well, not just because he’d prefer to win $300 rather than lose it, but because, in his gut, he actually likes seeing you here, across from him. He catches himself wondering if he’s oversharing when he starts a story, or if he’s going on too long when he recounts his last trip. When you laugh at one of his stupid jokes, he relaxes a bit, but he still can’t quite shake that uncertainty. 

You decided no more theatrics for the evening and let this play out naturally, how you would play out any other evening. Anything else would tip him off that maybe you were doing this on purpose. 

After a while the two of you had moved into the living room, you had been flipping through his records again, you didn’t take a chance to look at them all earlier. He had a decent collection for sure so you got a good sense of the type of music he liked. You both had a few glasses of wine now and so the conversation had turned more and more flirtatious. 

Noting the variety of music—jazz, a little classic rock, some alternative stuff. “You’ve got a good taste.” You say, glancing back at him. “This one,” you pull a record out with a slight smirk, “definitely says something about you.”

“Oh yeah?” He grins, leaning on the side of his couch as he watches you move around his shelves. “And what exactly does it say?”

You tilt your head, pretending to give it serious thought. “That you’re trying really hard to be cool. Just edgy enough.”

He laughs, though you notice he flushes slightly, brushing off your joke with a casual shrug. “Hey, everyone needs a little mystery. Or at least…a halfway-decent record collection.”

“Is that what you’re hiding?” You tease. “A mysterious vinyl collection? Or is it just your immense amount of fish facts?”

“Well, you’ll have to stick around to find out.” The words slip out before he can stop them, and he immediately kicks himself. It feels too... eager, a bit too close to something genuine. But he manages to recover, putting on a self-assured smile. “Not everyone gets to see my hidden jazz albums.”

You laugh, setting the record back and looking at him with a raised brow. “Guess I’ll have to consider myself lucky, then.” Finding a spot back on the couch with him. 

Jungkook shifted in his spot so his body was completely facing you now. With the alcohol having set in, his eyes were a little droopy and he was smiling but he looked boyish. He found the more he was learning about you the more he felt fine with telling you things about himself. 

“You look tired.” You poke his forehead. “Maybe I really should go.” 

“It’s barely even late.” Jungkook takes your hand, lacing your fingers with his. “I’m not tired at all.” 

“Your eyes tell a different story.” You laugh, leaning your head against the back of his couch. 

“Well what else are they saying?” He smirks, finding any reason to get a compliment from you. 

You stare at them for a minute, you were trying to come up with something clever. “Well if I am translating this right… I can’t handle my wine. ”

You laugh and Jungkook rolls his eyes, “Wow how did you know?” 

“I have a thing for reading people.” You shrug. “What do mine say?”

He leans in really close looking between them. “Wow this guy is so hot and charming I really want to kiss him again .” Jungkook then gasps dramatically leaning away. “That’s scandalous, Y/N.”

“Shut up.” You laugh and get up from the couch trying to leave, Jungkook's hand pulling you back to standing in front of him. “You’re really full of yourself.”

“I’d like to think just a healthy amount.” He grins, Jungkook then places one of his hands on the back of your thigh. The warmth of his hand sends a shiver up your spine, but you do your best to keep your cool, not letting him see just how much his touch is affecting you.

You scoff with a half smile, “We’ll see about that.” 

Jungkook's smile widens sitting forward on his couch, both of his hands finding their way to your hips. Tracing small circles with his thumbs, making it impossible for you to think. The way he looks at you—intense, unflinching, like he’s trying to figure you out—has you second-guessing your plans  all over again, just for a second. This is what makes this hard, because the way he looks at you makes you believe every single word.

Many guys before have looked at you like this and you always fall for it, you always let yourself go for it. 

It’s a little difficult to remember that right now though, your mind is clouded by the wine. 

You glance down to his lap for a moment then back up to his eyes that haven’t left yours. “Can I?” 

Jungkook just nods, allowing you to take your place on his lap. Lifting your legs to either side of his hips. Jungkook really was not intending for this night to go this way but he wasn’t complaining if it had. He would do whatever you wanted. His hands stayed planted on your hips as you found what felt comfortable. 

“You’re pretty.” He says with a shine in his eyes, he really did find you gorgeous and would tell you again and again if it wouldn’t be weird. The compliment makes you blush and hum. 

“You’re pretty too.” You lace your arms around his neck. Both of your faces are coming so close together now. Breathes intermingling for a moment, asking the same question. “You were right though.” 

“About what?”

“I do want to kiss you again.” You catch the slight hitch in Jungkook's breath at your words, the way his fingers tighten on your hips, grounding you even as your heart races. His eyes flicker from your mouth to your eyes, searching your face as though he’s almost afraid this moment might slip away.

“I’m not one to protest.” Jungkook swallows for a moment, before you took no time to close the distance between you. Pressing your lips against his soft but certain. Jungkook immediately responds tilting his head to deepen it. One of Jungkook's hands sliding up your back to bring you closer to him. The moment makes you forget everything else, as you slide your tongue into his mouth. 

For a moment, you allow yourself to sink into it, into the surprising tenderness of his touch, the quiet intensity of his kiss. You move your hands to cup his face, relishing in how warm you are now. You felt your whole entire body heat up, and small wetness in between your legs. Oh this was not good, you cannot sleep with him this soon. 

Oh he probably knew exactly what he was doing though.

He would know exactly where to touch you and exactly how to make you moan and you had very little issues with wanting to let him do that. It would be so worth it, it would be so good. Except it cannot go past this, for your sanity at least. You needed to cut this off somehow. His tongue in your mouth was making it incredibly difficult to be logical. You could feel him probably already getting a semi and you really could not stop thinking about grinding on him. 

You needed to stop though. Because this is a great opportunity to drive in that wedge between the two of you. One more way to mess this situationship up, but not ruin it completely.

As you pull away from him, leaving his lap, you mutter, “Okay… Goodnight.” You force yourself to stand, feigning nonchalance as you gather your things, even though every cell in your body is screaming at you to turn back around. Jungkook is left blinking at you, visibly caught off guard, his hands awkwardly suspended in the air where your hips just were. He clears his throat, collecting himself as he scrambles to follow you.

Clearing his throat. “Hey… um woah… was that not good or whatever?” 

You pick up some of your stuff into your arm, “It was, it was good. It was great.” 

Oh god it was great, he was a really good kisser and your whole body was screaming at you but you fought through. 

Jungkook was confused by your answer and shook his head, as he continued to follow you, “Did… did I misread something? Because I was getting a vibe.”

You glance over your shoulder and manage to flash a casual smile. “No, you didn’t misread anything. I just… don’t usually sleep with someone on the second date. Kind of a rule.” You bite your lip, keeping the truth of it hidden.

“Oh.” Jungkook nods, a look of relief mixed with mild confusion crossing his face as he adjusts his shirt. “Right, totally. Cool cool cool. That’s more than okay and Makes sense, makes sense… you should have said something.”

“It’s a bit of a mood killer to say ‘hey, by the way, you’re not getting any,’ don’t you think?” You raise an eyebrow, suppressing a grin.

You gather your things, amused by his honesty, and start toward the door. Jungkook trails behind you, letting out a small puff of air as he stares at the floor. Then, after a beat, he glances up with a sly grin. “So… just out of pure curiosity, not trying to be weird or anything, but what date number are we talking about here? Fourth, fifth…?”

You can’t help but laugh at his question, knowing full well he has no idea you’re just messing with him. “More than that.”

He frowns, looking genuinely curious now. “Sixth?”

“Nope.”

“Seventh?” He leans in closer, eyes narrowed like he’s reading the answer off your face.

“Higher.”

“Okay, when do you usually?” 

You cross your arms, “Twelfth.” 

Jungkook’s face barely changes, but you can see his jaw tighten just a little as he processes this. “Twelve… dates.” he repeats slowly, nodding as if he’s mentally mapping it out. “I mean, sure. That’s totally reasonable. Not a problem.”

“Really?” You ask, surprised at his lack of pushback.

"Yeah.” He shrugs, putting on a confident smile. “Guess I just have to plan ten more killer dates.”

“Uh huh. I’ll believe it when I see them.” Jungkook then opens the front door for you. 

“You're going to keep me on my toes aren’t you?” He watches you slowly step out the door with a wide grin on your face. He finds it cute and playful, he could tell you liked the chase. 

“Goodnight Jungkook.” You say in a sing song voice, giving him a flirtatious wave as you walk up the hallway to his elevator. 

Before you could get too far Jungkook decided to leave with something. Trotting up the hallway so he could catch you, taking your wrist and stopping you. “One last thing.” 

Jungkook places a hand on your cheek and then kisses you. It surprises you but you welcome him, its one of those kisses that is so passionate and it makes your knees want to buckle out from under you in response. He uses just a little bit of  tongue to send a shiver through your whole body, his hand warm against your cheek as he continues to kiss you just long enough to make you lose track of the hallway, the elevator, and everything else. 

When he finally pulls back, his eyes are twinkling with that trademark cockiness, but there’s something softer underneath, something that makes your heart do an unwelcome little flip. He grins, his hand lingering on your cheek for just a moment longer before letting go. “Goodnight.”

He goes back into his apartment as you retreat to the elevator. As you ride down, you let out a shaky breath, trying to process what just happened, and trying even harder to remind yourself why you’re supposed to be making him miserable. But as your lips still tingle from his kiss, you’re the one who is being thrown off balance now. This was continuing to prove to be difficult.

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Day 6

Jungkook is floating on air as he gets through his next work day. So much so Hoseok has taken notice of Jungkook's change in attitude. Really his whole attitude had been different all week. Not that he was particularly grumpy before or even usually in a bad mood, but he was just in a  really good mood. 

It was Friday night, and the familiar hum of the weekend buzzed in the air as Jimin and Taehyung once again convinced Jungkook and Hoseok to come out for a night of fun. Jungkook had been hesitant, his thoughts lingering on you. He’d been so busy lately, and while the dates had been great, there was something about tonight that made him want to see what plans you had before fully committing to the night out. But eventually, he decided he should just go—time with his friends, after all, was good too. Plus, there was that whole bet to think about, and he had a chance to subtly show Jimin and Taehyung how smoothly things were going with you.

When Jungkook and Hoseok arrived at the booth, they were greeted with their usual boisterous energy. Taehyung raised his glass, grinning widely. “Look who it is!” He said, motioning to the empty seats. As they sat down, the drinks flowed easily, and the conversation began to buzz.

However, Jimin and Taehyung had something else on their minds—Jungkook’s unusually good mood. While their conversation about random topics picked up, they were both trying to pinpoint exactly what had changed in him.

“So,” Jimin leaned forward, his voice a bit more teasing than usual, “what’s going on with you tonight? You’ve been, like, way too chill. It’s freaking me out.”

Jungkook paused for a moment, a little taken aback by the sudden observation. “What do you mean?”

Jimin gestured at him with a mock-serious face, “You're usually the one trying to take the night to the next level . Trying to make things more interesting. Tonight, you're just sitting here, all calm, looking like you’re, I don’t know, at peace or something?”

Taehyung chuckled at the thought, leaning in with a grin. “Yeah, what happened to the Jungkook who was out here doing whatever it took to keep things fun and exciting? You usually make sure the whole night has a direction. Right now, you’re, like... engaged in our conversation about cyber-security. That’s... not you.”

Jungkook raised an eyebrow, trying to play it cool, but he could feel the pressure mounting. He knew his friends had caught on to something, but they didn’t know why he was acting different. “I’m just… having a good day.” His voice light and casual. “Nothing wrong with that, right?”

Hoseok snorted next to him and Jungkook gave him a side eye. 

“You definitely would have gotten someone’s number by now but your eyes have been glued on us or on your phone this whole time.” Taehyung added on, which was usually true but Jungkook was glued to his phone. Hoping maybe he would see another text from you, secretly. Casually, in a totally normal way. 

“So what gives?” Jimin pokes Jungkook in the arm. 

“It’s nothing.” Jungkook shrugged and took a sip of his drink. 

Hoseok rolled his eyes, “It’s Y/N. The girl you set him up with for this stupid bet.” 

“Oh.” It all clicked into place for the both of them but it was still weird, Jimin continues.“She totally see through your act yet?” 

Jungkook was caught off guard, the question cutting deeper than he expected. He shifted in his seat, suddenly feeling uncomfortable. “Actually,” He began, his voice softening, “No. We had a really nice date last night. There is nothing to see through, I’ve been completely genuine.”

“Oh, really?” Jimin raised a skeptical eyebrow, a grin tugging at his lips.

Hoseok, who had been mostly observing, finally chimed in with a sigh. “He’s been in such a good mood about it all day, I’ve actually been avoiding him.”

Jungkook shot him a glare, nudging his arm. “So you were dodging me earlier?”

Hoseok shrugged, chuckling. “Sorry, man, I just couldn’t listen to you go on about Y/N again today.”

Jungkook rolled his eyes, glancing back at Jimin and Taehyung. “You guys are acting like it’s such a big deal. It’s just… going well.”

Taehyung raised a skeptical brow, his tone a bit annoyed. “So, you’re hitting it off?”

Jungkook smirked, raising his glass. “I don’t kiss and tell.”

That earned a laugh from Jimin and Taehyung. “Yeah, right.” Jimin scoffed, shaking his head.

“All I’m saying,” Jungkook replied, his smirk widening, “is you two better get your wallets ready. In 24 days, you’re going to owe me big time.”

With a final grin, Jungkook set his glass down and excused himself, heading off to the bathroom. As soon as he was out of earshot, Jimin leaned closer to Hoseok, lowering his voice. “Okay, is it actually going well, or is he just messing with us?”

Hoseok took a sip of his drink, letting the suspense hang in the air for a moment before answering. “All I’ll say is… he sent flowers.”

Jimin’s jaw dropped, and Taehyung’s eyes widened. “Flowers?” They exchanged looks of disbelief, struggling to picture Jungkook—who hadn’t done more than text after a night out for years—sending flowers.

“What kind?” Taehyung asked, still dubious. “If they were just roses, it might’ve been for show.”

Hoseok gave an exasperated look. “Sunflowers. They’re her favorite.”

Jimin blinked in disbelief, his jaw still halfway dropped as he processed Hoseok's words. “Sunflowers?” He repeated, as if the specific flower choice made it even more surreal. “You’re telling me Jungkook not only sent flowers but remembered her favorite kind?”

Hoseok nodded, his expression one of mild amusement. “It’s like he’s on some kind of mission. Didn’t even blink when he mentioned it either—used it as his way to get the second date they had this week.”

Taehyung shook his head, laughing under his breath. “I don’t know who this new Jungkook is, but he’s full of surprises. Sunflowers? That’s not just impressive; that’s borderline romantic.”

“Borderline?” Jimin laughed, still trying to wrap his head around it. “He’s gone full-on romance novel, and for someone he’s been seeing for, what, a week? This has to be the longest he’s been interested in anyone, like, ever.”

Taehyung let out a low whistle, chewing on his lip as he processed the surprising information. “Damn. This is serious.”

“Yeah,” Hoseok said with a small smile, finding some pride in a changed Jungkook. “So he’s not wrong when he says you guys are going to owe him. He’s actually putting in the effort.”

Jimin and Taehyung exchanged a look, stunned but slightly impressed. Watching Jungkook send flowers, remember favorites, and put his best foot forward was new—and honestly? They both knew they might just end up eating their own words. Which made them think, was there a way for them to slow this down, make it come to a halt?

It wasn’t an insane amount of money for either of them to lose, but it was much more entertaining to see Jungkook lose. Was there something they could do to mess this up but in a non asshole way?

If they didn’t, Jungkook was going to win the bet, but it had already become much more than a bet at this point for him.

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[somehow-a-human]

Whose POV is it Anyway?

Bodysnatchers & Cosplaying a bookseller

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

I'm back! I took a few days off of doing internet thingsss so I took a break from writing this series of posts but I'm back and continuing with episode 3 in its entirety!

For reference & context, I recommend reading these posts:

Whose POV is it Anyway? - Introduction

Lens Filters

POV "Your 'Something's Wrong' Voice"

POV a Trip to Hell and a 25 Lazarii Miracle

POV a Companion to Owls

POV The Dirty Donkey & I think I Found a *Clue*!

Shall we get cracking?

Episode 3 gifts us the arrival of Muriel! Sweet adorable Muriel! We see them arrive to the bookshop, with the Bronze Glimmer Glass filter in full effect. Aziraphale is the only one there so it makes sense we'll have Aziraphale's POV to start. Cupperteas ensue, and Crowley arrives to be grumpy but fully accepting that Aziraphale is taking their car, I mean, he's already brought the plants inside. His sideburns are long here as well.

When the duo head into the backroom to discuss what's going on, the filter changes, the lighting is much cooler toned, and we're now looking through the Black Diffusion FX filter in Crowley's POV. Crowley's sideburns are also short now, and if my theory that POV is also correlating with his hair length, it's standing here.

As Aziraphale drives off, we see Crowley watch him from the window and sigh, sideburns still short, still his POV.

I'm going to stick to the present day storyline and switch to the bodysnatchers minisode at the end!

The time Aziraphale and Crowley spend apart in this episode is interesting to say the least. If we're trying to look at the lighting and possible lens filters used to determine the narrator or POV for these scenes... I think they're switched!

When we see Aziraphale driving the Bentley, the scene isn't awash with glowy warm lighting which we know isn't reserved just to the bookshop since we've seen it used in the record shop, coffee shop, and in the Job flashback.

It's rather cool toned lighting for a yellow bentley. Aziraphale's whole trip to Edinburgh is cool toned. The time he spends in The Resurrectionist, the graveyard, everything. I would have expected Aziraphale's magical little newspaperman cosplaying extravaganza to be dripping in his golden glow through the gorgeous Edinburgh when I started thinking about the scenes and these lense filters and these metas.

But then you look at the opposite, Crowley alone in the bookshop with Jim. Something he would hate right? Sounds like worst case scenario for him. He loves the bookshop but he's there alone with Gabriel who tried to kill the person he loves more than anything and didn't have an ounce of compassion, while Aziraphale has taken himself and his car very far away.

But what is Crowley's experience like? He and Gabriel are chummy as ever, they talk about rainstorms, vavooming, gravity. Crowley dresses down and is wearing sleeve garters? A bit old fashioned for Crowley but not for Aziraphale no? He's playing bookseller, carrying books around, albeit not quite correctly, chucking them at the end. Every scene is drenched in warm golden haze and Crowley's sideburns are long the entire time.

They aren't together, but they've always probably got one thing on their mind...

I think we're seeing these scenes through each other's eyes, or the POV is swapped if you will. Maybe that's why Crowley is wearing sleeve garters and cosplaying bookseller and being very kind to Jim? And Aziraphale is being the worlds cutest little investigator to ever exist. I think maybe they're imagining each other, or it just points to the idea that they're apart but still the only thing they're always thinking about.

Okay, cute lovebomb, now let's talk digging up dead bodies!

There isn't a lot to go off of for lighting in this minisode, but there is one detail I wanted to point out that has to do with Crowley's hair length. In all locations BUT the crypt his mutton chops are longer. When they enter the crypt both times, they are shorter.

You can see they are a distinct "J" shape in most scenes but in the crypt scenes (for example when he drinks laudanum and busts through the roof) they have been trimmed back). So if I'm going just on hair length, all scenes except the crypt are Aziraphale's POV.

If you can look past my terrible image quality, you can see on the right image his chops are notched where on the left they're doing the opposite.

NEXT

POV 1941

[weirdcat1213]

another day another week ANOTHER FUCKING VOLUME-

okok lets relax

vol 11 thoughts

chap 1:

you know i barely remember this so it should be fun :D

-CHAPEL IDC IF THIS A FLASHBACK BUT THE TF OUT OF MY HOUSE

-"all he did was to shoot you in the spine" lmao elendira calling legato a baby is my favorite thing

-you know what girlie youre so right- oh a joke? damn it

-ily zazie, youre so cool

-VASH SLEEPING IN THE CAR :D

-oh hey brad is here

-ah NO NOT THE AFTERMATH MOMENTS NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

-brad, brad, honey....he knows

-why is my poor baby apologizing :c

-i mean brad's fears are valid and all but HE DOESNT KNOW AND WE KNOW AND VASH KNOWS AND ITS ALL JUST REALLY SAD

-GIVE MY MAN A BREAK LMAO XD

-also i can relate to livio here cuz rn my environment is too trusting and im so paranoid about security like yeah vash, i would never sleep in the back of a car of someone whom i just met you dumbass-

-shut up literally shut up

-fair

-Ion Blaster TM time :3

-final phase you say-

-oh....oh no. vash, this is gonna be one of those moments where you sigh and curse knives for being kinda right

-oh he angy xd

-OHH RIGHT YEAH

-yeap...they are fucked atm

-OMG ITS THEM THEYRE COMING YIPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY :D

chap 2

-THEYRE ALMOST HEREEEEE

-catch me being that guy when the end comes (just a dude in a coat with a hat playing music, thats gonna be me)

-oh god no, the worst and most boring thing you could do is to label knives as a terrorist. the guy is so much more and that word just doesnt fit him

-yes thank you! no time for nonsense

-THERE SHE IS HEY GIRLLLLL ITS BEEN SO LONG, TOO LONG, YOU LOOK SO PRETTY :3

-MILLY MY BELOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED

-when was the last time we saw them? 2 volumes ago?

-"i would never would have imagined this. that the world could change so fast" and that goes on the list of "timeless trigun things" or TTT for short

-:c

-wait so...transphobe guy? get yeeted

-oh...oh i didnt remember...oh i will cry

-ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh the reunioooooooooon

-look at their fucking faces, they missed each other so much

-tbh if i met the most jesus-allegory guy ever, then lost trail of where or how he was for 2 volumes of a manga ,to find him later in the middle of a silly fight i would also cry

-that scene with the pieces of earth announcement makes me kinda sad, no one will come for us

-geesus christ

-ohhh kinda pretty tho, looks like a phoenix

chap 3:

-"its all happening so fast" yeah sorry dude, its a trigun tradition

-HE LOOKS SO HAPPY, HIS DUTY (according to him) OF PROTECTING THE PEOPLE IS ALMOST DONE

-"do you want me to come along?" he would be the best person to go to public places when you are too anxious to talk to strangers

- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DONT ASK PLS NO

-livio honey what was the idea here "oh you guys seem like you liked him. i actually killed him. well not me but also me. im sorry"

-milly my girl is cursed to be the 1st and og wolfwood stan in any version. we feel your pain girl

-LMAO THE NOTE ABOUT ZAZIE XD

-AWWWWWWWWWWWWW :3 A BAG OF LITTLE THINGSSS

-NOT VASH CARRYING FIGURINES AROUND, HES LIKE ME FR FR WITH MY KEYCHAINS

-also ofc he has rare figurines, the man has had enough time to look for it lmao

-ok but imagine if vash actually had lost the coins xd

-the pressure and guilt livio must feel rn. his brother died trying to protect him and he has the official Vash Thinks Youre Cool stamp. he has to change cuz if he doesnt he would throw all of that away and really stop being human

-you did good brad

-"must be lonely" im eating my own arm

-oh im really crying over this, ok, fun

-i also dont know what to do vash the stampede but im begging you to ASK FOR HELP YOU MFFFFFFFFFF

-AH SHIT ZAZIE NO

-AH FUCK ITS HIM

chap 4:

-july 20th? ah great, july 20th-21st is cursed here too

-rad as hell as always

-huh, i expected knives to just yeet them on sight

-i would say him and humans are pretty much alike but ok, sure,hm

-i love her being suspicious of legato 1st xd

-i wonder how can this go wrong, seems like a solid plan

-oh right...him

-YEAH GO GET HIM >:3

-oh...oh thats so cool. like his body doesnt work...but he controls it...but not in the same way a human would...wow

-OH BEAUTIFUL EYE HOLY SHIT THATS BEAUTIFUL

-GATE CONSUMING STUFF YOU SAY.....HMMMMM I WONDER WHERE I SAW THE SAME TRIGUN CONCEPT-

(side note: "you still dont know how to control your gate" SO THATS HOW IT LOOKS WHEN YOU CONTROL IT? IT ONLY CONSUMES/CREATE WHAT YOU WANT?? ORANGEEE)

-MAGIC BULLETSSSSSS

-LMAO THE HOLE XD

-vash you cant say shit about silly haircuts im sorry

-also "new hair new outlook"...........i will curl myself into the moon

-they forgor

-who are you

-also ngl i never got the idea of what the coins did so lets find out

chap 5:

-SHES FUCKING HERE REJOICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

-wait wdym neural blocking programs

-LMAO XD

-LIVIO IS SO SCARED AND WITH REASON

-just the two of us :3

-i love his game face and then its just "ugh i cant do this" xd

-"fight vash the stampede fight" me cheering vash on in stampede

-vash i love you but you cant call my wife a bitch, thats not polite

-oh livio, oh i didnt get to appreciate you too much on my 1st read but come here man, come here. youre doing great

-they have officially trauma bonded :3 (ik thats a terrible oversimplification but leave me alone)

-"is it possible for something created by humans to completely break away from their creators?" yes next question

-OH NO IS THIS THE VOLUME WITH *THAT SCENE*?

-"you really have become a crybaby" and im glad cuz she was always so serious with her job and all, now she can express her feelings more

-STOPPPP THIS ALWAYS GETS ME CUZ AHHHHHH STOP

-AH NAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH :C

-...........and thats story is technically stampede but anyway jajajajaja :D

-the prettiest eyes

-FUNNY ENOUGH HE DOES LOOK LIKE A BUG

-OH ITS TIME ITS FUCKING TIME HOLY SHIT

chap 6:

-the title :c

-liviooooooo :c

-HEY! my boi can still kick your ass >:[

-DONT YOU EVEN *DARE*

-just leave him out of this pls

-i love that he still considers himself human <3 i want to think wolfwood taught him that indirectly

-FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT

-I MEAN YES YOURE RIGHT BUT CAN YOU NOT???

-huh, the silhouette kinda looks like wolfwo- *gunshot*

-i love knowing exacty what livio is thinking rn

-aww :3

-liviooooooooooo :c

-his cowboy era is about to start im so proud of him :')

[roosterbruiser]

⭐⭐

Two stars because I wanna know about two thingsss: 1. Your favorite scene in the Fuck-verse AND 2. Mafia Bobby 🥺

awww TWO stars?? honored!!

for Fuck: The Universe, my favorite scene would have to be from Fuck It! I feel like it really shouldn't come as that much of a surprise--I really poured my entire fucking heart into that part!! of course, it's when Wisteria is talking to Ice before Jake visits!

I bawled writing that conversation and when I look back on it, I'm immensely proud of it. I think if I had to pick a certain scene specifically it would be:

"I'm scared," you admit.

It's the most honest you've been with him in week. Honestly, it's the most honest anyone's been with him in weeks. And Ice relishes in that honesty for a moment. It's such a simple thing to tell him, but he knows that it was hard for you to say it. There's that courage you've always had, the one that makes you tough enough to fly F-18s.

I'm not. Ice smiles very gently. Lived well. Loved good.

There are already tears clouding your vision. You nod, sniffing, but continue.

"Are you ready, dad?"

He thinks for a moment. Of course he isn't ready to leave you--any of you. He's going to miss cashmere blankets and the sun on his face. He's going to miss the scent of leather and good Scotch. He's going to miss Sarah's snores and playing charades after big dinners. But he's been sick for a long time; he's tired.

I'm tired. Ice nods, sighing before continuing. Don't feel good.

You nod. You keep nodding. He knows you're about to crack. And he's right--as soon as you bring your hands up, your lips begin to quiver. A few tears stream down your face.

"I'm not ready for you to go."

Ice already knows this. He knows. And it's a strange sort of pleasure and pain that fills him up that someone has finally said it. All of you, his sweet women, have been putting on brave faces for him. Telling him that you understand, that it's okay. But here you are, being so honest with him the way you used to be, the way you've been trying to hold back.

You're proper weeping now, sniffling and wiping your eyes with your shirtsleeve. You're blinking at this force of a man, this man that used to carry you on his shoulders around Top Gun and let you sit in his jet, and feeling an overwhelming loss wash over you. Time is running out. You both know it. And you're not ready for him to go. You're really, really not.

I know. Ice signs, shaking his head softly. But you're gonna have to be.

I mean.....what more can I say besides ouch?

and mafia!Bobby!!! I truly didn't think people would like him so much!! I guess taking that mafia class really paid off in the end, didn't it?

the image of Bob smoking a cigar, blood dotting his sleeves, watching you be a brat....PHEW......

And when he came through the heavy French doors of the library where you've been perched on the sofa waiting for him, he merely pressed a chaste kiss to your head and slumped on the couch to light up a Cuban stogie.

"Thought I said c'mere," Bob says, blowing that thick white smoke from his bitten lips as he tilts his head at you. "Deaf or somethin', baby doll?"

He stares at you. He knows you're upset--you're not exactly one that can hide your emotions, especially when they're because of him. You're in a fantastic dress, one that he would love to run his hands over and then promptly rip off your body, and there are still heels strapped to your feet. You've even painted your nails and done your hair up real nice. He knows, just from looking at you, that you put time and effort into getting ready for the date that he cancelled on a short phone call. He really didn't want to--it was something that was out of his control--but duty really did call.

I would honestly consider writing another part to this if it's something people wanted!!

send me a ⭐ if you want my commentary on a certain story! or send in a part you want me to give commentary on!

[wheredafandomat]

Fear & Desire❤️‍🔥P21❤️‍🔥 Bucky

Previous chapter Next chapter

“Bucky don’t” he heard y/n plead. He didn’t reply, he didn’t turn around, he couldn’t. The shame, the regret, the rue he felt for y/n was too much. He was overwhelmed with the emotions that were flooding through his body. He had to keep walking.

The fury that was coursing through his veins was no excuse for hurting y/n. He had hurt her. He had hurt her so much that her shocked expression changed into a dazed one. She was so hurt that she couldn’t stop herself from rummaging through the fractured darkness that was Bucky’s mind and finding his fears. So hurt that she hadn’t followed him. She just let him walk away. Perhaps what she saw was too much. It was too much for Bucky. Hurting y/n was one of his ultimate fears. He was terrified that he’d loose control and revert back to his previous title and harm her. The imagines of it happening plagued his mind at night despite how deep he tried to keep them buried but now, y/n had seen them too. She must have been scared. That’s why she didn’t follow Bucky, surely.

The further he walked, the more he thought about how different the situation would have been if he approached it calmly. But Loki had kissed y/n, no, there was no way the confrontation could have gone any better. But maybe he should have stayed with her at least instead of just walking away. Perhaps she could have explained the situation. There must have been a reasonable explanation for the kiss. Surely.

“One beer please” Bucky said raising one finger to the barman.

“Sure” he replied.

The longer Bucky sat drinking his emotions away, the more he thought about the audacity of Loki. How dare he kiss y/n. The bastard. He thought about what he saw when Loki conjured the dagger. Y/N was caressing Loki’s hand as if Loki was the one that needed comfort in that situation. Why would she do that? There was no way this wasn’t Loki and y/n’s first kiss, surely?

“Hey handsome”

Turning around, Bucky was greeted by a brunette smiling down at him as she gestured to the seat next to him.

“Mind if I sit?” She questioned.

“Be my guest” Bucky replied flashing her a smile.

Bucky began thinking about the feeling that was most dominant. Hate. He hated Loki. He hated himself. He had gone too far. He knew that y/n could control her abilities unless she was under extreme circumstances. Bucky was at fault for her loss of control. He blamed himself.

The longer the night went on, Bucky didn’t even remember the kiss, all he kept remembering were the words the man from the mission was saying. Those cursed trigger words.

“Haven’t you had enough”

“I said I want another beer, aand get something nice forr th-e the lady” he slurred.

The bar was closing and Bucky was definitely intoxicated. Instead of feeling hurt, he felt overjoyed. He staggered out with the lady from earlier at his side.

“I say you forget about her” the brunette said looking up at Bucky as she placed his arm around herself.

“Wh-what?” He questioned.

“The girl you were rambling on about earlier, forget her” the woman said biting her lip “wanna come back to my place?” She asked before Bucky got a message.

Steve: Bucky what’s going on? You, y/n and Loki didn’t complete the mission. She’s gone back home and you’re not here either.

Smiling, Bucky pocketed his phone before looking at the woman.

“How about you come back to my place?” he said wriggling his eyebrows “But it’s a secret shh we have to sneak in” he laughed putting a finger on his lips.

A/N: The past few chapters have been short - my apologies buuttttt I’ve got loads of thingsss planneddd I’m so excited!!!

Tags:

@frostay

@newtomofgods

@andrizzybvbyyyy

@geeky-politics-46

@virtualstrawberrydinosaur

@purplekitten30

[nerdypanda3126]

A Game of Snake and Mouse – Ch. 3

A little bit of angst makes the fluff sweeter, right?

Or: Viperion’s first akuma battle alongside his new girlfriend affects him more than he thought it would.

Read on Ao3

First Chapter | Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Second Chance!" Viperion called, resetting his timer for the third time. 

Desperately, he lunged towards Ladybug, tackling her to the ground just as an akuma blast exploded right where she'd been standing. He hopped to his feet instantly and tugged her with him, taking a step back and clutching her close to his chest as the side of the building crumbled away. 

"Third reset," he muttered in her ear, keeping a sharp eye turned on the akuma. "The explosions are problematic. We need to get close without attracting her notice somehow." 

"Chat Noir!" Ladybug called. 

Chat Noir turned to look at her right as an explosion went off next to him, sending him sprawling to the ground headfirst with a hard crack. He struggled to lift himself up, then fell back down, unconscious. 

Viperion cursed and reset again. 

Tackle. Duck. Stand up quick. He shushed Ladybug by putting a finger to her lips. "Fourth reset. Don't call out." 

She nodded and he tapped on her Multimouse pendant wordlessly. She'd taken to wearing both, just in case, despite his protests. Although it did come in rather handy right about now.  They needed Multimouse's ability to sneak up on this one. 

She nodded once more, short and curt, and combined her Miraculous before she looped an arm around his waist and slung her yoyo out as far as she could towards the rampaging akuma. They landed behind a billboard and Viperion detransformed, throwing Sass an egg and keeping an eye out at the same time. Without his suit, adrenaline and concern for his teammates pumped through him in equal measures, spiking his heart rate, making every minute feel like an endless second. 

Chat Noir was doing an excellent job of keeping the akuma’s blasts away from them, and Viperion was back in action within a few minutes. He set his timer and Multibug called on her Multitude power, shrinking as her clones separated. 

Viperion watched from his hiding place as Multibug snuck up from behind the akuma in all different directions. Another explosion went off and his eyes flicked to Chat Noir for the briefest moment, checking to make sure he hadn’t been hit. As per usual, Chat was being reckless, but in that calculated way of his, throwing himself just close enough before dancing away, playing cat and mouse with the akuma. 

Which is when things went sideways. Frustrated with Chat’s taunting, the akuma screamed and blew out a blast in all directions, scorching the rooftop they were on and blowing seven little Multibugs off their feet. Viperion’s ears were ringing as he watched Chat try to put his arms up in defense, losing his balance on his baton again as the aftershock of the explosion hit him. 

He fumbled at the snake’s head of his bracelet, his eyes stinging from the heat and the sudden onslaught of tears. None of the Multibugs were moving. He didn’t look any longer than he had to. 

“Second Chance!” he finally managed to choke out. 

Multibug had her jump rope in her hand, ready to call on Multitude and he stopped her, wrapping his arms around her to pull her close with his back turned to the billboard. 

“Wait,” he murmured, his voice thick with the emotion of having her back, having her safe, having her in his arms again. Losing Ladybug was par for the course at this point, not that he liked it, but it was his job to stay composed, and she counted on him to stay composed. 

To lose Marinette like that. He wasn’t prepared for it. Never wanted to be prepared for it. 

“Viperion…” she started, but he hushed her by squeezing her to him and pressing his lips to hers, hard. 

The akuma screamed. The resulting explosion rocked the billboard behind him, throwing him a step forward into her, and Marinette’s eyes widened as she clutched him tighter. 

“Chat’s down,” he said in her ear. “Go now.” 

She rushed to call on her power and Viperion stepped into the distraction role, pulling the akuma’s attention away as Marinette crept up behind her, too small to be noticed until the charm bracelet was thrown over to Viperion and he crushed it beneath his boot. 

All the tiny Marinettes combined again and Multibug called her Lucky Charm that they hadn’t used—a stuffed tiger, what would they have done with that?—before tossing it in the air. The magic Ladybugs washed over everything, setting it all right and fixing the damage from the explosions before Multibug captured and purified the akuma. 

As soon as it was over, she turned to him, smiling, offering him a fist bump, but he took her hand instead and tugged her to him again, capturing her lips in a kiss that said everything he couldn’t. He watched her eyes flutter closed, and she went up on her toes to return it, tangling her fingers in his hair. He barely registered that she tasted like vanilla mixed with the remnants of magic that clung to her, something like the air after a lightning strike, and he breathed her in, every second more cherished than the last. 

An obvious throat clear broke them apart, and when Viperion managed to tear his eyes away from Multibug, Chat Noir was helping the akuma victim to her feet with a teasing grin stretched across his face that didn’t meet his eyes. Before Viperion could say anything, Chat Noir waved him off with the excuse of helping the victim home before his timer ran out, even though he hadn’t used his Cataclysm and so didn’t have a time limit. 

“That’ll be an interesting conversation later,” Multibug mused before she turned back to him. “Cat’s outta the bag, I guess?” 

He groaned. “You’ve been hanging out with him too much—his puns are rubbing off on you.” 

“Sorry.” She giggled, then sighed. “I guess it was about time to tell him, though, don’t you think?” 

“I wasn’t really a fan of keeping the secret identity rule, anyways.” 

He traced her bottom lip where his fangs had nicked her in his rush to have her close to him. A tiny purple blister had formed where he hadn’t quite broken skin but definitely hadn’t remembered to be careful. Her fingers traced a nervous pattern at the base of his neck. 

“Was it bad?” she asked hesitantly. “You seem a little shaken up.” 

He shook his head, his eyes locked on that tiny mark on her lip, fighting for his words to come out normally past his dry throat. “Nothing out of the ordinary.”

She caught the strain in his tone and her eyelashes fluttered as she looked down at their feet. “You can tell me, you know. I know it’s all okay in the end, but it must be hard to see—” 

“I know,” he cut her off quickly. Seeing it was one thing. Hearing Marinette talk about it was another. “I know,” he said again, softer this time before he rubbed her back and dropped a kiss to the top of her head. “I just can’t. It’s…” He sighed. “It’s different, that’s all.” 

She nodded as if she understood before her earrings started beeping and she brought her eyes back up to meet his. 

“I have to go.” 

“Be right behind you,” he answered her, reluctantly letting her step out of his embrace so she could sling her yoyo away towards the bakery. She glanced back once before she tugged on the string and she was gone. 

Viperion sat on the roof and laid his head back against the wall, taking deep breaths as his timer ran down. Normally he’d circle back to the Liberty to solidify his alibi, but he was still rattled and he wouldn't be able to hide it from Juleka. 

When Sass appeared, he gave Luka a long look before settling quietly on his shoulder and starting in on his egg. 

A horrible thought twisted Luka's stomach and he grimaced as bile rose in his throat and mixed with the words of his question. "Sass? When I reset… those timelines, they disappear, right? They're not… still out there somewhere? Happening even though I tried to stop it?" 

"It isss unwissse to ponder such thingsss," Sass answered, which wasn't terribly comforting. Luka frowned. 

Objectively, he knew Sass was right; he shouldn't think about the things that theoretically hadn't happened. It was over, the day had been saved, his job was done. But he couldn't shake the feeling that somewhere out there was a Viperion dealing with the aftermath of all the things he hadn't been able to stop. Every time he'd failed and lost Chat Noir or Ladybug. Lost Marinette. His stomach took another awful twist and he turned his head to retch off to the side. 

When the dry heaving subsided, he laid his head on his hand, closed his eyes, and focused on breathing. On being in the present. The cold, hard concrete underneath him. The breeze lifting the hair from his neck and wicking his sweat away. Even his still rolling stomach and his trembling hands. He was here, in this moment. He was okay. 

And so was Marinette. Back in her room by now, humming happily at her sewing machine, or helping her parents in the bakery, or maybe, if he was lucky, she was lounging on her balcony, waiting for him. 

He opened an eye when Sass laid a tiny flipper on his wrist by his bracelet. He'd finished eating and seemed to know where Luka's thoughts had fled. Luka nodded to him and pushed himself up to stand on wobbly knees before he transformed again and started his brisk run towards the bakery.

[dontasktheradiodemon]

Reunion

After avoiding the hell out of each other for a week, Alastor and Sir Pentious finally meet to discuss the whole “I found out you like me and yelled at you until you cried” thing.

It’s very emotional.

To all of you that read the chat log last week and screamed: read this one and scream some more.

Alastor

Inside Rosie's Emporium, Alastor is frantically preparing for Sir Pentious's arrival, as he has been for the last few hours—he's showered *twice*—all while singing the most obnoxiously perky show tunes he can think of. He is NOT going to be a simpering emotional wreck this time. He intends to get through this meeting without breaking character; or if he fails, he's at least going to put it off as long as possible.

Outside the emporium, meanwhile, the door's locked and a sign in the window says "*CLOSED*" with a second, handwritten sign underneath reading "*Except for appointments. - R.D.*"

Sir Pentious

The appointed time had arrived. Sir Pentious slipped out of a portal created by his beloved, though she did not follow. This was something he'd be doing on his own, as it was between him and Al. It was funny to think about, wasn't it? That months ago, Sir Pentious would have loved to meet the other over *bitter* circumstances, to feel the rush of adrenaline coursing through him at the chance to confront his enemy.

But this was unlike anything he'd ever faced before. So used to breaking down everything he could get his hands on, the serpent wasn't prepared for how emotionally exhausting it was to... try to put the pieces back together, good as new. He could fix most *any* machine, but this? This was *harrowing.*

While Alastor was adamant about not losing character, Penley found it nigh impossible to stop his hands from *shaking.* He slithered up to the door, took hold of the knocker, and made his presence known. Tok. Tok. Tok. His body shook like an earthquake, and he quickly used his right hand to still his left, both of his hands now behind his back. He attempted to look *dignified*, but the look of anxious *dread* on his and Hatty's faces was unmistakably present.

Valera's words repeat in his head. *You could fumble and fail a thousand times, but you're still trying and I still love you with all my hearts.* Yes... he was trying. All he could do was try.

Alastor

Right! There was the knock. Show time. Alastor had barely had enough time to find a seat to perch on near the front of the empty store before he was leaping back to his feet and swinging the door open. "*Hel—!"

He wasn't ready for the gut punch of seeing Sir Pentious's face again—especially seeing him looking so downright miserable. "...-lo."

*AHEM.* Switch stations. "Right on time, do come in!" He stepped aside, ushering Sir Pentious inside. "We have the place to ourselves, Rosie was kind enough to agree to take care of some business out on the town. Door in the back left, the one that says 'staff only'—I know I said not to expect food, but Rosie, it turns out, actually *does* know how to prepare tea, so I've got a table set in her parlor with a pot and a few little snacks—you know, in case we need to cover any awkward silences, haha!"

He sounded like himself. But he hadn't looked at Sir Pentious since that first moment, his gaze instead across the store at the door in the back he'd indicated.

Sir Pentious

.... Oh... *Oh.* Oh this felt,.. wrong. Sir Pentious kept his hands behind his back, the hand holding the other by the wrist squeezing it tight enough to cut off blood flow. Alastor talking in that usual way of his, but it just twisted and turned his stomach. "R--RIGHT. OF-- OF COURSE." he replied, slithering into the store, toward where the deerman had gestured.

His brain was already screaming for him to get out of there, this was awful! This was AWFUL. Get out get out get out GET OUT--No no, no. Don't do that. Don't make it worse than you already have. Stay here, you can do *at least that much.* His throat felt *itchy* and he wanted to *scratch* at it, but no! No he must try to look dignified! His face just barely manages to look only mildly concerned, but Hatty, Oh Hatty... Never before had there been a chapeau *so* stressed out--expression looking borderline *sick* and instead of sitting tall, it was crinkled and somewhat mangled in appearance. Sir Pentious hadn't done that, at least not *intentionally.*

Alastor

Alastor inwardly cringed at the way Sir Pentious stuttered. It wasn't like him. Alastor was still firmly avoiding eye contact, and that meant *all* eyes—but it was safe to say that on the inside he was making about the same face the hat was.

There, a modest little table in a charming little Edwardian parlor, set for tea as promised with a few pastries Alastor had managed to scare up that he thought were soft enough for Sir Pentious's tastes. "Sit where you'd like," Alastor said. "I mean—I know there's only two seats, hah—unless you want to sit on the divan over there or something—hard to reach the tea, though—well, you know what I mean!" A gesture at the table.

Sir Pentious

"... ACTUALLY, I DON'T. THINK I COULD SSSIT. RIGHT NOW..." If he sat down, then, he wouldn't be able to keep his hands behind his back, without looking like he was tied up or something. He *winces* at the sound of his own voice, and tilts his head, craning his neck uncomfortably...

"ALASSTOR." Oh, he felt sick. That letter from Alastor had been so *short*, and, now he wasn't really even looking at him at all. Just hearing the demon's voice after an entire week of *not...!* He took in a sharp, shaky breath.

Alastor

Alastor hesitated, then nodded sharply. "You're going to make me look like a bad host." He laughed nervously. "Not—well—not that anyone else is going to see, but..."

He flinched at the sound of his name. "Sir Pentious." He clasped his own shaking hands behind his back and straightened his posture.

Sir Pentious

Look at them--both standing in just the same way. Hands tightly clasped behind their backs, their postures straight, foolish old men attempting to appear dignified as their hearts sank and drowned. Sir Pentious had to say something, *had* to... do something... but his mind was running blank. He... looked, glanced-- toward Alastor, and his eyes settled on where he'd bitten before, wincing.

"... ..does it hurt?"     Oh, that's a pathetically quiet sound for a gentleman to make, shame on you, Sir.

Alastor

Stubbornly avoiding eye contact like he was, it did not occur to Alastor that Sir Pentious was talking about the bite. He made a garbled noise of surprise. "Uh, *well*—I mean—jumping right into it, aren't we?—it hurts about as much as you'd expect it to hurt a week after your best friend said he'll hate you if he sees your face again!" A strained laugh. "But enough about me! Here I am playing host and I'm letting my guest ask all the questions. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much pain are *you* in?"

Sir Pentious

He *flinches*, badly. His teeth *grit* as he grimaces from the strain of having to *restrain* himself, keep himself from having immediate reactions--bad ones. Don't make any stressed snake sounds, don't do anything WEIRD, don't DON'T *DON'T* make him hate you more. He's digging his talons into his hand so tight now that he can feel warmth run down his palm.

"W-... I--..!" He can't get anything out, again. Showing this side of him, he feels *shame* course through him once more. No, don't rely on the man you *bit to shreds* just for trying to help you. Just for loving you. What a **piece of** ***shit you are, Pentious.*** Deep, deep breath. Slow inhale, fill those powerful lungs of yours... and exhale. You're alright. You're alright.

"... AN ELEVEN, OR A TWELVE. I AM SSSSORRY.... YOU *DID* READ MY LETTER, CORRECT...?"

Alastor

He hates hearing Sir Pentious's stop and start, hates hearing his voice drop so soft. Hates that *eleven or twelve.*

"I—yes. Of course. The moment I got it. Several times." Alastor swallows hard. "There's really no call for a... Eleven's a bit... You really shouldn't have to go past a five. Six tops."

Sir Pentious

"I SHOULDN'T HAVE *HURT YOU,* IS WHAT I *SHOULDN'T* HAVE DONE. NEVER MIND THE IRRELEVANCIESSS OF *NUMBERSSSS.*" He turned his head to and fro, more exaggerated than necessary with that long neck of his--he refused to bring his hands out, even if it looked RIDICULOUS at this point to maintain such a stance.

Alastor

His immediate instinct was to try to excuse it, to say that maybe Sir Pentious shouldn't have, but on the other hand Alastor shouldn't have— But Alastor wasn't in the wrong, he reminded himself. He wasn't in the wrong to feel something he couldn't control, and he wasn't wrong to try to keep that to himself.

He was, perhaps, wrong to make friends in spite of all that—but he'd been invited to, hadn't he?

"No," he conceded, looking at his shoes. "You shouldn't have."

Sir Pentious

He wasn't sure if it was relief slipped down his throat, dragging a knife the entire way down. That's.... not what relief is supposed to feel like, right? It was probably guilt. Intense guilt--he was glad that Alastor wasn't making excuses for him or blaming himself, but oh, did he continue to feel shame. It wasn't going to go away. It wouldn't ever go away.

It was getting hard to keep his hands behind his back, and he smeared the blood between his palms.  "... A-AGREED... INDEED..." Usually so wordy, he was... failing. Failing to speak.... Say something *else*, you GODDAMN FOOL. "... I... LETTERSS CAN BE... SS-SO IM*PERSSSONAL*, YOU KNOW, BUT, I DID NOT WANT TO... *IMPOSE* AFTER THE MESSS I MADE OF THINGSSS...." He gestures to his head, then a few vague gesturing at... between them... and then immediately remembers his hands should be behind him, so back they go, flicking a bit of blood and immediately COVERING it with his tail. Nope.

"SS...SSSO I SSSENT THE LETTER, FIRSSSST. I WANTED YOU TO KNOW, ALASSSTOR, THAT I'M SSSO DEEPLY SSSORRY FOR THE WAY I ACTED, HOW I... *RE*ACTED TO YOUR WORDSSS. IT WAS OUTRIGHT FOOLISH AND NONSSSSENSSSICAL..."

Alastor

Alastor was sure he saw *something* drop down, but when he glanced over Sir Pentious had shifted his tail. Alastor glanced up at Sir Pentious—for the first time since opening the door—faintly worried, but he wasn't sure of what.

"They can be," he agreed, looking away again. "Very, *very* impersonal. Even if the words are all there, you can never quite tell if it was... crafted to be that way." He took a deep breath. "For what it's worth, I've been here *waiting* for you to impose—as soon as you could stand the sight of my face again." He huffed. "Bad joke. Sorry. Shouldn't have, not the time. Couldn't resist."

He wasn't ready to touch that apology quite yet. It felt like claws on his skin, although he wasn't sure why. Not clawing like some wild beast was cutting him up. More like some drowning creature was trying to scrabble up to safety.

Sir Pentious

The implication that he was just crafting them--just so, as if he was making it up! He... turned his face away, tongue hanging as he felt the stress wringing his chest. The length of time his tongue spends in his mouth is now shorter than the amount it's out! Another bout of harsh words-- he deserves much worse.

Maybe if Alastor could just. Cut him apart, it would feel better. He deserved that much, right? If someone had done what he did to Alastor.... to him? Why, they wouldn't be allowed to leave! He'd rip them apart!!!

... Tear them with his teeth. He makes a *sound*, a choked little whine, that he immediately slaps a hand over his mouth for. Shut *UP!* This isn't ABOUT YOU. You have to WORK HARDER, Pentious. You're NOT doing a good job, you're not even doing a SATISFACTORY job. He straightens himself up, more, but doesn't move his hand--his palm was warm, and he realizes what he just did. Ugh. Time to talk through the hand on his mouth.

"I DON'T HATE YOU-- I DON'T. I'M... SSSORRY." Sorry tasted disgusting in his mouth, like excuses. *Excuses.* "IT WAS... CRUEL. UNNECESSsssssARILY. EVERYTHING I SSSAID WAS.SS... I JUSSST... I NEEDED SSSSPACE TO THINK AND...." I'm too fucking honest for my own fucking good.

Alastor

Alastor immediately looked up when Sir Pentious covered his mouth. It took longer this time for him to drag his eyes away. God, that look on Sir Pentious's face.

And it was there because of Alastor. It made him feel sick.

"I know you're sorry," he said. "I'd... say I forgive you, but—hah—I *tried* to resent you and couldn't quite manage it, so I guess I don't need to forgive you. So instead I'll say I..."

*I accept your apology.* But he couldn't quite get the words out. Sir Pentious had insisted so often that he always wanted Alastor to give it to him straight, that now Alastor couldn't quite bring himself to do otherwise.

So instead he said, softer than he meant, "I *want* to accept." He cast a forlorn look at the table he'd set out. "Could we *please* sit? I feel ridiculous, standing next to a bunch of perfectly good chairs."

Sir Pentious

They both felt mutually sick, and Penny regarded the chairs like they were death traps. When he felt this stressed out, *sitting* was the last thing he wanted to do...    But who cares about what he wants? Didn't he do enough selfish things?

Pentious swallows down the sick tasting lump in his throat as he moves to, well, attempt to sit. Slip in, bend tail like *so*.... There. Sitting, like a real person!

And keeping his hand to his mouth because he knows if he pulls it away, he'll have blood on his face. Stupid.

"YOU... *WANT* TO, BUT, YOU CANNOT, I PRESUME?" Ahh. Acid.

Alastor

He sat, dropped his elbows on the table, laced his hands, and hunched his shoulders. "I don't *know* if I can," he said. "The thing is—Here's the thing—How do I know it's over? If my... If all this is so upsetting to you, then—well, you're acting quite the gentleman *now,* which I do appreciate, but how do I know..."

He couldn't quite get it out. He wasn't playing the right character to say these kinds of things. He swallowed hard and fiddled with his monocle. "How long until there's a repeat performance?"

Sir Pentious

... Oh no. Oh, God. This was the exact thing he was petrified of, he'd confessed to Valera countless times about how he's unable to predict his psychosis, how he's unable to stop when it starts, and how he can't promise they'll never happen again..

Valera always reassured him, but here he was being asked the very question that shook him so badly. He makes a pitiful stuttering sound, like a laugh meeting a sob, and he turns his head away, reaching for a tissue or something to wipe up the drying blood on his face.

"I-- I.. I can't. I can't prOMISSSE ANYTHING B, BECAUSE I DON'T. I DON'T *KNOW.* I... I. THESE... THESE MOMENTSSSS JUSSST HIT AND, and. AND IT'SSSS LIKE I'M DOING ANYTHING I CAN JUSSST TO *HOLD ON.*" How could they stay with this neurotic fool indeed? Look at how *unpredictable* he is. Not an ounce of reliability.

Alastor

His heart plummeted at the sound of the sob/laugh. Sir Pentious's answer didn't do anything to lift it back up—but the answer didn't push it any deeper, either.

Alastor leaned more heavily on the table, staring down at an empty teacup as he turned that over in his mind. "And I appreciate knowing that," he said. "But, I meant... If you explode at me over something different, okay, we'll deal with that then, but..."

He fell silent again. Dead air hummed loudly for a moment. "How much do you hate... *this?* Specifically? Are you going to be... courteously swallowing your distaste every time we interact, until it builds up and bursts out again? Is this going to irritate your mind every time you look at me?"

Sir Pentious

His eyes widen, and he *slammed* his hands down on the table, quite suddenly--harder than he'd intended, but too late.

"NO! NO, I-- IT *DOESN'T* IRRITATE ME, IT. I DON'T. I REALLY *DON'T CARE* ABOUT IT!! I HAVE *QUESTIONSSSSS*, CERTAINLY, BUT I'M NOT IRRITATED, AND, AND I DON'T HATE THE SSSSIGHT OF YOU."

Alastor

He sat bolt upright when Sir Pentious slammed his hands down—and then froze there, back rigid, staring at him. “Really?” he asked, quietly.

*I don’t care* was the best option he could have hoped for. (Second best option. *Best* option was “I thought it over and realized I feel the same—“ But second best was pretty good and much more realistic.) Apathy was far better than mere tolerance—tolerance would mean it was still a negative, but one Sir Pentious could put up with, as long as it didn��t become too much. Apathy meant it wasn’t even a negative—it was a neutral. It should have been a huge weight off Alastor’s shoulders.

But it wasn’t. The weight on his shoulders had claws and was digging in hard. “You’re *sure?* Because, you... certainly seemed irritated at the time.”

Sir Pentious

He winces when he startles the other, and his tongue flicks--more like hangs out--for longer. Stressed.

Sir Pentious slides his hand over his hood, looking away as his other hand drums against the table.

"THAT WASS. I. I DON'T. *KNOW* WHY I GOT SSSO UPSSSSET. I... *TRIED* TO SSSSTOP MYSSSSELF, BUT I COULDN'T WIN AGAINSSSST THE ACID MELTING MY MIND. IT, IT WAS UNCERTAINTY, PERHAPSSSS? FEAR... FEAR OF..." Losing this.  "CHANGE! AND... I DIDN'T WANT THINGSSSSS TO CHANGE, AND, I, DON'T LIKE IT WHEN THINGSSSS ARE HIDDEN FROM ME, SSSSO I... I PANICKED AND LASHED OUT, AS I AM WONT TO *DO*..."

He wants to take Alastor's hands, hold them in his and *ask* him to believe him. It sounded like a TERRIBLE answer, all things considered. What kind of answer was 'I don't know why I did that?' But it was the only one he could muster. Speculation about why he felt that way was the best he could do.

Alastor

It *was* a terrible answer. It was about as godawful an answer as Alastor could think of. But Sir Pentious was also a pretty terrible liar. If he said he didn’t know why he was upset—then he probably really, truly didn’t.

Which wasn’t much comfort. It meant they didn’t know for sure what set it off. But there were much worse answers he could have given.

“Well,” he sighed deeply, “I didn’t want things to change, either. Just one of many reasons why I didn’t say anything. At least we’re on the same page.” He paused a moment, then asked, “So, that’s... what a full-blown ‘acid blood’ incident is like, is it?”

Sir Pentious

He sighed as well, perhaps just as deeply, and began to play with a tea cup.

"YESSS. VALERA HASS EXPERIENCE WITH THEM, BUT I AM ASHAMED YOU HAD TO BE AS WELL. I CANNOT CONTROL THEM, A GREAT SHAME OF MINE. I FEEL LIKE RIPPING AND TEARING THROUGH MYSSSSELF IS THE ONLY WAY TO COOL THE BURNING, AND I EVEN LOSE THE ABILITY TO SSSPEAK, BUT THE *MADNESS* IS SSSTILL THERE..."

Alastor

He noted Sir Pentious playing with the cup, and lifted the tea pot an inch or so. Want some?

“You know, you mentioned the acid in your veins, the clawing at yourself, and the disconnected feeling—but I think you forgot to mention the part where you verbally assault whoever’s talking to you.” A rueful laugh. “See, that—that would have been a good one to know. Otherwise, it sounds an awful lot like you mean it.”

His stomach twisted. He was dancing on the edge of a question that had been plaguing him since he received Sir Pentious’s letter, so... “How much of it *did* you mean?” It would be all too easy if every word out of Sir Pentious’s mouth had simply been whatever, in that moment, he thought would hurt the most. He couldn’t shake the fear that *some* of it was sincere, just typically buried too deep for Sir Pentious to share.

Sir Pentious

He deserved that laugh. He deserved far worse than that, but it still made him *flinch* again. Had he neglected that part? Sir Pentious made a face, extremely uncomfortable, and his shoulders hunched as he dropped the tea cup back onto its saucer. No, no tea right now.

"I... I *didn't mean it.* I didn't mean any of it." What an easy answer, Penny! You *disease.* He rakes his claws over his hood, taking in another breath.

"I just. I grab anything I can to make it hurt. It'sssss shameful. I know, I know. I'm *ssssorry*. I wish I hadn't sssaid a thing."

Alastor

All right, no tea. Alastor poured himself a cup instead.

Then stared at it. Why did he do that, he doesn’t like tea.

So. Sir Pentious meant none of it. Not a word. Alastor nodded, finally feeling that heavy weight on his shoulders start to tug its claws out of his tense muscles.

It was difficult to believe—he wasn’t quite sure it wasn’t just what Sir Pentious himself wanted to believe. Some of the words—“*I let you* touch *me!” “How could I set limits?” “If you hadn’t* fucked things up *back then*”—it was hard to imagine they weren’t sincere when the accusations were true. But if Sir Pentious himself didn’t think they were...

“Okay.” He nodded. “That’s good. All good news, right? No big rifts here.” He offered an encouraging smile.

Sir Pentious

Questions muddled into lashing out... He shouldn't have screamed at him, he shouldn't have. He would much rather have asked questions, calmly! Like a proper gentleman. Like a *good friend.* But he wasn't a good friend.

And seeing that encouraging smile finally snapped the string trying to hold everything together. Sir Pentious put his face in his hands, and his shoulders shook, trying to keep himself *silent* as tears slipped down his wrists, some going into his sleeves, others dripping onto the table.

"I-- I'm sss-ssorry, my friend! I'm *trying*. I am, I *am.*" A harsh whisper, as quiet as he could speak.

Alastor

“N—!” Alastor automatically reached across the table, stopped with his hand halfway to Sir Pentious, and pulled it back to set on the table on his side of the tea pot. “I—come now, you’re doing just fine.” His claws dug into the tabletop. He wanted so much to take Sir Pentious’s hands. God, he couldn’t do that now.

So instead, he pulled out Sir Pentious’s freshly washed handkerchief and offered it to him.

Sir Pentious

His fists pressed against his eyes, and he grit his teeth, trying so hard to get a hold of himself. Stop crying, haven't you cried enough? You really are wrong in the head, Sir Pentious.

His hands finally pull down, and he takes deep, deep breaths, like he hasn't breathed in a while. It's okay, you're okay, you're okay.

The handkerchief--he remembers his teeth shredding Alastor's shoulder, and all he did was give him a *handkerchief* for it, and some awfully *short* words. How his chest ached now, and he felt *sick* and *vile.* Penny moved to take the handkerchief, hovered over it, then put his hand down on *top* of Alastor's, with the cloth serving as a barrier between.

"I don't... Undersssstand why you both put up with me. If I were treated as I treated you, I would have plotted REVENGE. I would have sssssought out the perpetrator, and put a BULLET in his BRAIN. I would have FED him his own INTEssssSTINAL TRACT! And yet, you're. Not doing that to me. And. I don't know why. I've. I'm not *good* at this, I've never had *friendssss* before."

Alastor

Alastor’s hand flinched when Sir Pentious’s settles on top of it, but then he freezes, not pulling back. The cloth was only a symbolic barrier at best—with both of them wearing gloves, he couldn’t even feel the handkerchief in between. It felt like any other time they’d touched. It was too much.

He held still anyway.

“I save the intestine-feeding for people who did it on purpose. And also for people I’m not quite so—“ *fond of,* he wanted to finish, but the word “fond” also felt like *too much,* implying things far larger than he wanted to say; “—don’t get along with so well.”

Sir Pentious

Slowly.... He pulls the handkerchief back, and his hand with it.

"*Got* along with. I *fucked* that one up." He brought the cloth to his eyes, dabbing away tears. "I CANNOT IMAGINE *WANTING* TO BE IN MY PRESENCE AFTER THAT SSSHITSHOW. YOU CONFIDED IN ME, AND I RIPPED YOU APART WITH THOSE SSSSAME WORDSSSS! WHAT A *SSSSNAKE* I AM." A bitter laugh, all the while he spoke his other hand is digging into the table, splintering it somewhat. Sorry Rosie.

Alastor

He held still long enough to be polite, then snatched his hand back like he’d touched a hot stove.

“To be fair, I wouldn’t really say I *confided*,” Alastor muttered, then cleared his throat and turned his volume back up. “You say ‘got along with’ like we’re not going to get along anymore! I’d say we’re getting along right now.”

Sir Pentious

"YOU CALL THISSSS GREAT?? I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE *TENSSSSSE.*" He shudders, clasping his hand together and rubbing his face up and down his forearms.

"I DON'T... *WANT* TO BE A *FOOL* AND *MISSSSSPEAK!* BUT I CAN'T... GET MY THOUGHTSSSSS OUT. WHEN IS IT A GOOD TIME? IS IT NOW? IF I'VE LEFT ANY *MESSAGE*, IT'SSSS LIKELY 'DON'T SAY ANYTHING OR THE INSANE SNAKE DEMON IS GOING TO YELL AT YOU, BITE YOU AND TELL YOU IT'S YOUR FAULT!'"

Alastor

Wryly, Alastor said, “Actually, the message I’m picking up is ‘if the snake demon yells at you and bites you, don’t take it personally because he probably didn’t mean it.’” He leaned halfway across the table, supporting himself with his elbows. “Listen to me. I’m not grading you on your eloquence. I’m the professional public speaker here, not you. You’ve apologized about three hundred times and you’ve issued a retraction for every thing you said, that’s what matters. Take a couple of deep breaths and shake out those shoulders, alright?”

Sir Pentious

With Alastor leaning across the table like that, Sir Pentious swallowed hard.... And did as he was told, closing all of his eyes so he could breathe in deeply, exhaling through his grit teeth. Repeating this a few more times, never knowing how much was enough as thoughts pooled and splattered across the sharp shoreline of his mind.

He was still tense, but, there was a reassurance than he wasn't on trial here. Speak, Sir Pentious.

"I... SSSOME OF THE THINGSSSS I SSSAID SHOULD HAVE BEEN WORDED AS *QUESTIONSSSSS* RATHER THAN WHAT I TURNED THEM INTO.... BECAUSE TRUTH BE TOLD, MY REASONSSS FOR TOUCHING YOU, FOR HOLDING YOU, WERE SOLELY PLATONIC. IN MY DAY, THISSS WAS MORE ACCEPTABLE BETWEEN MEN.... KNOWING NOW THAT YOU FELT MUCH MORE *ROMANTICALLY* INCLINED TOWARD ME, IT DOES *SHAKE* ME. NOT OUT OF... OUT OF *DISGUST*, BUT RATHER!" He sighs, rubbing his temples.  "I WASS JUSSST *HURTING* YOU DEEPER, WASN'T I? AND INVITING YOU FOR MOVIES WITH MY WIFE, IT. I. DIDN'T WANT TO *HURT* YOU LIKE THAT! I'M FRUSSSSTRATED, OF COURSE, BUT I'M NOT... *DISSSSGUSTED.*"

Alastor

Oh, here it was, the part Alastor had been dreading. His gaze dropped to his teacup. He made a very determined (and nearly successful) effort not to wince when Sir Pentious said “romantically.”

He was silent a moment after he listened to Sir Pentious speak; then clucked his tongue critically. “You must think I’m either dumb or deluded, if you think I need to be *told* that it was all platonic on your end.” He shook his head. “It was the same in my day. I didn’t start seeing it change until I’d been in Hell, oh... a couple of decades, maybe?” He’d liked the change, actually. He’d hated that people had previously thought that being pals with him a year or two gave them the right to touch him. In life he’d posed for pictures with others’ arms around his back and others’ legs crossing his legs, his shoulders and abdomen and smile held painfully stiff as he fought the urge to recoil. “What makes you think all that was hurting me?”

Touching, that that was Sir Pentious’s main concern. If it wasn’t just the one concern he thought was gentlemanly enough to share.

Sir Pentious

"I DON'T THINK *EITHER*, I AM JUST TRYING TO--" His hands close into fists and then open again, irritation on his face. Deep breath. Slow exhale. "I AM SSSIMPLY TRYING TO EXPLAIN MY THOUGHT PROCESSESSS. *PLEASE*, BE *PATIENT.*" He'd no right to ask, of course, but he was trying so hard.  He didn't like being touched either--at least, from people he didn't know well. And that was most of everyone. It was fine from his ex-wife, but that was different! That was *expected*, and even then, he still found himself flinching at times with her touch. Generally speaking, when it came to being touched or grabbed, Sir Pentious wanted nothing to do with it-- but! With Valera and Alastor, he found he missed it when it wasn't happening.

"YOU DIDN'T THINK IT CAME ACROSS AS... AS RUBBING IT IN YOUR FACE??? I DON'T KNOW. I WOULD THINK SSSO, IF I WERE IN YOUR SHOESSS... I THINK!" Of course, he wouldn't willingly spend time with someone he was crushing on if they were with their partner. That would be needless heart ache.

Alastor

All right, all right, patience. He nodded.

“Of course not! You can’t rub something in someone’s face without malice, can you? Malice and intent.”

Sir Pentious

His head tilts to the side, and he's back to rubbing his face against his forearms...

"WELL, IF IT *ISSSN'T* A PROBLEM... THEN I SSSUPPOSE I WILL TRY NOT TO OVERTHINK IT. I'VE... WELL I. I WOULD LIKE... TO HOLD YOUR HANDSS AGAIN, AND. MAYBE HANG OUT AGAIN... BUT. ONLY IF YOU'LL HAVE ME."

Alastor

The way that was phrased made something inside Alastor try to expand, and made something surrounding it try to shrivel up and contract. Every word prickled him more deeply than it should, every nerve ending was raw. Secrecy had been a well-padded shield, muffling all the impacts; he missed it.

He nodded. “Of course.” The words came out slightly static-strangled. He wanted to say more, but couldn’t think of anything else to add that didn’t sound like *too much,* that wouldn’t now be laden with double meanings he didn’t want them to have.

Sir Pentious

... Was that it? Sir Pentious looked to his friend, his eyes wide, pupils expanded more than usual, his brow creased with anxiety... and Hatty looked about the same. Just words alone now felt... impersonal. He wished he could feel proud and confident that things would be okay. Wishes that he could saunter out of this store and snap his fingers for a portal, adjust his bowtie with a sm--

The bowtie. He starts patting down his jacket, before reaching inside and... taking out the yellow-middled bowtie, placing it on the table. "DO.. DO YOU SSTILL WANT IT...? I'D LIKE YOU TO HAVE IT, I... HAVEN'T TAKEN OFF YOURSSS."

Alastor

He stared dismally at the bow tie. Yes, he wanted it. God, he wanted it. But just the *thought* of reaching for it made him nauseous with anxiety—he hated this feeling, it wasn’t like him, he shouldn’t be like this. He didn’t want it. He couldn’t touch it.

But Sir Pentious wanted Alastor to have it. He snatched it off the table—like ripping off a bandaid, it hurts less if you’re fast—and stuffed it in his pocket. “Thanks.” His throat was dry. He sipped from his cup.

Ugh. Tea.

Sir Pentious

The movement caused him to wince more, and ... Sir Pentious found that he'd hit his limit on eye contact. He couldn't do it anymore, all of his eyes looking in every direction *except* for Alastor's. There, it was. Done. Right? It was done now? Things were supposed to be ... better... right? Why didn't they feel better? Why did everything feel just as bad, maybe if not worse than before?

He'd like to be with his wife right about now, curled up around her, safe and secure. Sir Pentious cleared his throat, feeling just as uncomfortable as before--maybe he should have some tea. There was food made, right? It would be ever so rude to just... leave. Right. Don't leave. Don't be *that guy.* He reached for the tea pot, to pour himself some tea.

"... I, UM. .. I MISSED YOU, ALASSSTOR."

Alastor

The words felt like a sledgehammer on his ribs. He nodded. “Yeah.” Oh, very eloquent, Mr. Professional Public Speaker, do a little better than that. “I—missed you, too.” *Every minute, every second—it’s the only thing I’ve been able to think about for a week—I’ve hardly slept in days—a couple of Rosie’s pillows are stuffed with more tears than down, I’ve probably done more crying in the last week than in the last forty years combined—* Too much, too much, too much. But he needed to say more. “A lot.” Even that was too much.

Sir Pentious

.... He... puts his hand out, resting it on the table for Alastor, talons open and doing their best to appear non-threatening. He, too, couldn't take his mind off of Alastor! He'd *tried* but the man was his best friend. Every time he saw something funny, saw something that reminded him of that grinning deerman, well, it just made his chest *ache.* Even the thought of *drinking* put Sir Pentious' mind into an uneasy state.

Alastor

His smile had remained impressively steadfast throughout the conversation, but when Sir Pentious offered his hand, it threatened to wilt, drooping at the corners. He couldn’t say no. Sir Pentious would think Alastor was rejecting *him.*

He slid one hand back to the edge of the table so that he could dig a sharp claw into his palm without Sir Pentious seeing, and with the other took Sir Pentious’s hand. His hand was trembling. There was nothing he could do about that now.

Sir Pentious

Well, you know. Alastor would be able to feel the way Penny's hand was trembling, too--he'd just about managed to get it under control, barely noticeable except in how it shook just below the surface. He couldn't disguise it anymore. He gave the other's hand a squeeze. "I'M... YOU MUSSST BE TIRED OF HEARING ME APOLOGIZE BY NOW, I MUSSST SSOUND LIKE A BROKEN RECORD. BUT I... DID YOU GET THE BITE LOOKED AT?"

Alastor

Well, great. At least they were in the same boat. Alastor’s hand was limp as Sir Pentious squeezed it.

“Yeah—yes. A couple of days after. I got one of the infernal demons to treat it. It’ll be fine.” His gaze was away from Sir Pentious, away from their hands, away from the table completely.

Sir Pentious

.... Actually. He wasn't that hungry after all. In fact, he felt sick, and it was getting worse. Probably... better to just. Leave after all. He... pulled his hand away, trying hard not to have a visceral reaction to the most awkward and ***stupid*** decision he'd made yet. Not very comforting at all are you, *snake.* Sir Pentious made to push his chair back, but... he stopped.

"... DO. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO LEAVE, ALASSSTOR? GIVE, ERM. TIME. TO PROCESS? I'D RATHER NOT OUTSSSTAY MY WELCOME."

Alastor

He jerked his hand back the second it was free.

The *last* thing he wanted was for Sir Pentious to leave, but he couldn't possibly say that.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I'm sure this must be agony for you, putting up with all this. I'm sorry for the stupid..." He gestured at the teapot et al, then propped his chin in his hand to gaze forlornly down at the table. "I won't make you stay."

Sir Pentious

Frustration was bubbling, *agonizingly* below the surface. He couldn't take this much more, but he didn't want to *yell* at the man. That was what got him in all this trouble in the FIRST goddamn place. He stood up, or at least, stopped sitting down awkwardly on that chair, and placed both hands firmly upon the table, hood raised only somewhat.

"ALASSSSTOR. PLEASE.... *PLEASE* TALK TO ME. IT'SSS NOT... IT'S NOT *PUTTING UP* WITH, NOT IF IT'SSS YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I'M SAYING??? I WANT TO *TALK* TO YOU ABOUT THIS, I WANT TO COME TO SSSOME KIND OF UNDERSSSSTANDING, BUT... I *CAN'T* JUST DO IT ON MY OWN!"

Alastor

Alastor squeezed his eyes shut. He knew he was being insufferable—say something. "That's the thing. I'm happy to talk about anything else—but I don't want to talk about **IT.**" Hateful distortion emphasized the word. "I don't even like to *think* about it—I spend as much time as possible ignoring it. If there was any way for me to get rid of it, I *would.* Instead, I have to *deal* with it."

He forced his eyes open and looked up at Sir Pentious. "And now *you* have to deal with it. I hate that. I hate that you're *never* going to look at me again without *knowing.* I hate that I'll never be able to say anything again without my words being *filtered* through it!"

At some point in that speech he'd gotten to his feet. He shoved back his chair and started pacing irritably, chewing on one corner of his mouth to make sure his smile hadn't dropped.

Sir Pentious

When that distortion rung true, Sir Pentious knew that he was hearing something more honest. There was relief soaking at his brain, mixed with pins and needles. Hey, he could handle anger--frustration, irritation, the works! That was his bread and butter. The pacing, the rage. He knew it all well.

The serpent slithered out from the table, allowing himself a moment to stretch, at least somewhat--it wasn't of his arms or shoulders, it was mostly that he'd unconsciously coiled his tail so tightly he could barely feel it anymore. "SSSO *WHAT* IF I KNOW NOW! I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DON'T CARE, AND YOU TOLD *ME* THAT SSPENDING TIME WITH VALERA AND I WASN'T HURTING YOU, SSO I AM NO LONGER *AGITATED* ABOUT IT! I WANT TO SSSPEND TIME WITH YOU, I WANT TO RAISE *HELL* WITH YOU LIKE WE DISCUSSED! I WANT TO WATCH THOSE COWARDLY SSINNERSS RUN AND FLEE IN TERROR AT OUR COMBINED *MIGHT!*" His hands ball into fists as he digs his talons into his palms, "I WANT TO DO THOSE THINGSSS WITH YOU! WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT ME TO *SSSAY* ALASSSTOR?"

Alastor

"i don't kn—I want you to say—*nothing!* I want you to not know it! I want you to forget! *I want my secret back!*" He stopped pacing, pinching the bridge of his nose. "And I want... all that, too. Everything you said."

Sir Pentious

His mouth SHUTS, and. He stares at Alastor wide eyed. There's a look of hurt-- maybe he misunderstood the "I want you to say nothing", took it a bit too literally. What was he supposed to do? He couldn't just *unknow* something. His talons *flex*, feeling frustrated and helpless. Ineffectual. Useless.

Alastor

Sir Pentious had been quiet a moment too long. Alastor glanced over—oh. "No—sorry. I didn't mean *nothing* nothing. I don't want you to shut up. I like hearing you talk."

He flung up his hands in frustration. "There—you see? A week ago if I'd said that, it would be about *you*—'you're interesting, you're witty, you're a delight to listen to!' Now, when I say it, it... it just reflects on *me.*" He half sat on the edge of the table, shoulders slumping.

Sir Pentious

Penny thinks it over, rolling it around in his mind. He's making all kinds of thinking faces, the man's an open book of expression... all the while Hatty's keeping its eye on the deerman. "IT... DIDN'T SSSOUND BAD, TO ME.... NOT AT ALL."

Alastor

"Good." He crossed his arms tight and looked down at his feet. "But it felt rotten."

Sir Pentious

He felt a very sudden, and STRONG URGE to SHRUG his shoulders, but he *REFRAINED.* Not the time, not the time at all. What to do here? Usually, he could take Valera into his arms and hold her tight, and even before when Alastor had confided that realization of Hell wearing him down, he'd been able to just hold his hand and lie on the floor with him.

But here, well. He didn't know. So. He sat in his own coil and looked at the floor, too. "... WELL UM... I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO. I CAN'T REALLY JUSSSST... UNLEARN SOMETHING LIKE THAT, BUT, I DON'T THINK YOU BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU THAT IT DOES NOT BOTHER ME. THAT IT IS NOT SOMETHING THAT UPSETSSS ME. MY OWN PARANOIA AND MADNESS IS WHAT HURTS ME MOST, IT UNDOES ME AND EVERYTHING I WORK FOR, AT ALL TIMESSS... AND... AND IF YOU CAN SSSTILL WANT TO BE MY FRIEND, DESSSPITE THE UNCERTAINTY OF MY NEXT *PUTRID* MENTAL COLLAPSE, THEN... I'D WISH YOU'D BELIEVE *ME* WHEN I TELL YOU THAT HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT ME WILL NOT CHANGE ANYTHING, UNLESS YOU WANT IT TO."

Alastor

He shook his head immediately. "No—of course not, no. I don't want anything to change." He took a deep, shaky breath in, slowly let it out. White noise. "I know you can't unlearn it. I just... *wish.*" But what were wishes worth? Especially in Hell? "I... do believe that it doesn't bother you. At least right now. But it bothers *me.*"

Sir Pentious

"... WERE YOU SSSIMPLY HOPING THAT I'D NEVER FIND OUT? THAT... DOESN'T SEEM VERY FAIR TO ME." He rubs his arm, like he had any right to demand fairness, especially in hell.

Alastor

He winced. That was true. "I wanted to wait for a better time. When we'd known each other longer, or I could spin it as a positive. Maybe after I'd met another who felt the same and the first you had to hear about it was that I could channel all that *off* of you and onto another." He scoffed. What were the odds of that?

Sir Pentious

... He rubs his arm a little harder, sliding his claws along the fabric. "... IT... *IS* A POSITIVE, ISSN'T IT? I MEAN, THE THINGSSS YOU SAID AT THE TIME... THEY WERE GOOD THINGSSS. *I'M* THE PROBLEM HERE, MY BRAIN IS ALL WRONG, AFTER ALL. YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ADORE ME, AND I INTERPRETED IT AS--- AS AN ATTACK." A sad chuckle, and he stares harder into the floor.

Alastor

"Is it?" He glanced cautiously at Sir Pentious. "I've been on the receiving end more than once, and it's never felt like a positive."

He winced at the word *adore.* "I'm quite sure I never told you that. You keep talking like I *confessed* something to you. I *didn't.* You asked me. I'm fairly certain I didn't even *confirm* the accusation, did I? Just declined to deny it." He shook his head. "You already see me differently. You're started putting words in my mouth."

Sir Pentious

--His hood flares up, and he feels a red hot *flash* of embarrassment course through him. "MUST I *DIRECTLY QUOTE YOU*, OR SSSOMETHING? I CANNOT REMEMBER IT *WORD FOR WORD*, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU TOLD ME, AT LEAST THE SSSENTIMENT!!" Oop. Too late. He was already feeling a bit of rejection from that last sentence, and because of it, found himself withdrawing from the situation. Too much in a short time, Sir Pentious was nothing without his flashes of anger. "FINE, I WILL NO LONGER *ATTEMPT* TO RECALL IT! AS FAR AS I AM CONCERNED, YOU SSEE *YOURSSSELF* DIFFERENTLY, AND I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THISSS ENTIRE GODDAMNED TIME THAT I DO NOT SSEEE YOU IN A DIFFERENT LIGHT! BUT I THINK WE'VE HIT AN IMPASSSSSE." A deep breath, he's not sure he can calm down, so he's going to TURN AWAY and fold his arms tight against his chest.

Alastor

Alastor cringed. His claws dug into the underside of the table he was leaning on. He stared at Sir Pentious's back, momentarily silent as he tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "I'm sorry. Look at us, you were so worried about misspeaking, and I'm the one who's said everything wrong." Deep, shaky breath in. "I'm... having trouble *not* seeing how you see me as different now."

Sir Pentious

".... YES, I *KNOW* ABOUT YOUR SSSECRET NOW, BUT SO WHAT! I AM A SSSSTUBBORN OLD MAN, ALASSSTOR. AND I'M NOT WILLING TO GIVE YOU UP, OVER SSSOMETHING LIKE THAT. YOU'RE SSSTILL THE SAME MAN YOU'VE ALWAYSSS BEEN, THIS ISSN'T ANYTHING *NEW* TO YOU, SSSO WHY SHOULD IT BE, TO ME???" He takes another few moments before wincing, "... IT ALMOST FEELSSS LIKE... YOU *WANT* ME TO DESPISE YOU FOR IT."

Alastor

He listened hard, trying to somehow absorb the words, trying to force himself to believe them. Something about them still rang hollow. But he could keep trying.

"Of course I don't," he said immediately; then stopped, double-checked his thoughts more carefully, and finally said again, "No. I don't want that. I just think you *should.*"

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious turns around-- no... he ROUNDS on Alastor, slithering close *very* quickly. "YOU THINK I *SHOULD?!* WHY!?"

Alastor

"Because there's no second chances in Hell! I ruined what I had with one version of you, Hell isn't going to just—let me rummage through the parallel universes for another version of you that's more amenable to being friends! It feels like a trap. The only question is when is it going to be sprung?"

Sir Pentious

He looks hurt again, but quickly fights it back, moving CLOSER. "YOU DON'T *WANT* TO ME FRIENDSS, ISS THAT IT??? BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I SHOULD BE BLAMED FOR SSSOMETHING LIKE THAT-- I *LIKE* YOU, AND YOU HAVE YET TO ACTUALLY BETRAY *ME*, AND SSSSINCE I KNOW *YOU'RE NOT DUMB OR DELUDED*, YOU AREN'T GOING TO *DO THAT*, ALASSSTOR, SO--" He takes a breath, hands together, "GET THE *FUCK* OVER YOURSSSELF! I'M HERE BECAUSE I WANT TO FIX WHAT I'VE DONE, WHAT PART OF THAT FEELSSS LIKE A FUCKING TRAP!?"

Alastor

"*No,* that's not what I'm saying! Not you—!" He almost reached out, stopped, pulled his hand back. "Not you. I think *Hell* is setting the trap. For both of us. That's what Hell *does,* it *tortures* people. So here we are—waiting to find out what Hell's scheming for us. Why it allowed us to be friends. And I'm—afraid of finding out! I am." An edge of ferocity entered his voice: "But I'm *not* going to let go of you until Hell *makes* me."

Sir Pentious

This was the part where they'd HUG TIGHT like in the radio plays and movies. Hold tight for a few moments, laugh about it later. But! Holding was off limits--and Sir Pentious looked like a long noodle that didn't know what to do with himself, his tail slithering closer to Alastor, but stopping over and over until he was in this abysmal zig-zag pattern.

Alastor's last words get Sir Pentious' chest *aching*, and he GESTURES with his hands like *SO WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING ME ON THIS!?!*, but no words come out. He's just. SAT THERE, WITH HIS HANDS OUT, AND THE MOST *VAGGIE* LIKE DONE EXPRESSION....... and he FINALLY MANAGES to speak.

"ARE WE GOING TO HUG OR NOT!?"

Alastor

For a couple of seconds, Alastor waged an internal battle with himself.

It was a brutal battle. Hundreds died. Bodies littered the landscape as far as the eye could see. The soil in that region was permanently stained red from the sheer quantity of blood spilled. A battle to end all internal battles.

And then he darted across the space between them, pulled Sir Pentious into a rib-crushing hug, squeezed his eyes shut, and buried his face in Sir Pentious's shoulder.

Sir Pentious

He'd ALMOST expected Alastor to say *no* with the way he paused-- he was preparing for it, his hands slowly lowering, before he was quite SUDDENLY *CRASHED* INTO, letting out a YELP of surprise as he was pulled into the tightest hug he's received from Alastor *yet*-- and he didn't complain in the *least*, immediately throwing his arms around the deerman, his tail coiling around the both of these foolish old fools.

*THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.* is what he'd wanted to say, but... best to keep it in his head.

Alastor

Being hugged back was like an electric shock, jolting his system, making his skin prickle, and it was almost painful but it was such a relief.

He kept his eyes squeezed shut—no crying, no crying. He managed to get out a garbled apology, but that was it.

Sir Pentious

A hand moves to Al's head, kind of petting the ears. "SHHH. HONESTLY, I THINK WE'RE BOTH SSSICK OF THAT WORD...."

Alastor

A choked laugh. "I never want to hear or make another apology." Oh, that was nice. He tilted his head into it. Guilt was seething deep in his gut—*what gave him the right to something so nice?*—but for now he could swallow it down.

Sir Pentious

Penny *smiled*, after what felt like FOREVER without a grin. He put his chin on Alastor's head, settling into his coil with the other demon.

"THERE MUST BE ANOTHER WAY OF EXPRESSING SSSSUCH THINGSSSS. MAYBE WE OUGHT TO SSSSAY IT IN FRENCH! MY TEXTBOOK FRENCH AND YOUR BASSSTARD FRENCH, NYA HA HA!"

Alastor

"You can't call it that, I'm an actual bastard." He prodded Sir Pentious's back with one sharp claw. "Anyway, my French comes from an unbroken lineage of native French speakers. *You've* got the bastard French."

It felt far too soon for banter—but it was so much easier than ripping open his veins an inch at a time and spilling one drop of blood after another as he tried to figure out how much he needed to sacrifice before they could be *normal* again.

Sir Pentious

SNORT. "A LONG, *PROUD* LINEAGE! YOU'RE RIGHT, MY FAMILY IS ENGLISH AND AMERICAN! NOT A *HINT* OF FRENCH, I *SSSTOLE* MY WAY IN!" He beams.

Maybe it was too soon, maybe he was feeling lightheaded from the rush of emotions... But he had his buddy in his arms again. There wasn't awkward silence, it felt... *doable* again.

"I'VE MISSED YOU, SSO, SSO MUCH. IT'SSSS ONLY BEEN A *WEEK* AND YET... TORMENT."

Alastor

A lump threatened to form in his throat again. No, he was determined not to cry, he wouldn't.

"I—haven't been able to—think about anything else." *It felt like too much.* Sir Pentious said he didn't see Alastor differently—and Alastor didn't want to test how true those words were, but if he didn't take a leap of faith, he wouldn't be able to move at all. "I haven't even had an appetite; Rosie's nearly had to force-feed me."

Sir Pentious

Ohh God. His heart broke at that. He continues to pet those ears, rocking back and forth with Alastor in his arms.

"MM... I DIDN'T HAVE MUCH APPETITE EITHER. ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WASS WRITING THE LETTER.... HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO USE MY *FANGSSSS* SSSINCE.... THEY JUST MAKE ME FEEL *SSSICK.*"

Alastor

Almost like dancing. He forced his muscles to relax so he could sway freely with Sir Pentious.

He swallowed down the urge to apologize for Sir Pentious’s fangs. “Is that why the letter ended up so...” Find a neutral way to put it. “... Effusive?”

Sir Pentious

Penny's breath shakes, and he gives a little laugh, rubbing at his eye.

"W-WELL.... I WANTED TO MAKE SURE YOU *KNEW*... AND.. I WASN'T *SURE* IF YOU EVER WANTED TO... *SSSSEE* MY FACE AGAIN..."

Alastor

“*Of course I did.* I told you where to find me and everything, didn’t I? How could I *not* want to?”

Sir Pentious

He sinks a little lower, silently gesturing to his own head.... Then awkwardly (though delicately) touching where he'd *bit*....

"Becaussse."

Alastor

There was a faint crinkle of a fresh bandage beneath Alastor’s clothing. “You bit me the first time we met, you didn’t hear me complain about that.”

He opened his eyes as a realization hit him. “Hold on. Let me—let me summarize this. Since our last meeting, you’ve been afraid that I wouldn’t want anything else to do with you—now that I know more about the things going on inside your head that you wish you could get rid of. And I’ve said it doesn’t make a difference to me, and you’ve got to take that on faith, but you, you can’t imagine how it could possibly be true. Is that a fair summary of your last week?”

Sir Pentious

Without mention of all the crying, yes. Sir Pentious nods his head, still not speaking much in case he starts blubbering.

Sniff. He rubs at his eye again.

Alastor

Alastor started laughing. A wheezy, pathetic, *relieved* laugh.

“Good *gracious,* look at the two of us.” He pulled back so he could make eye contact with Sir Pentious, eyes watery and smile shaky. “A *whole week* we’ve been avoiding each other, when we were both terrified of the *exact same thing!*”

Sir Pentious

Penny's eyes get bigger, and he leans back a little so he can make that eye contact--he was so much bigger after all.

"THE... *SSSAME* THING?"

Alastor

Alastor let out an amused huff. "I mean—isn't it?"

Sir Pentious

"... I... WELL, YES! I SSSSUPPOSE IT IS...." He attempts a smile, but boy, it's so much more wiggly this time.

... A little laugh.... "IT... ISSSS REALLY SSSSIMILAR, ACTUALLY..."

Alastor

“Hah! You see?” His grin widened, finally squeezing the first tears out of the corners of his eyes. “We really are a couple of old fools, aren’t we?”

Sir Pentious

Another little laugh, and his eyes squeeze shut, a *big* sniff as he tries to keep smiling but. He's getting into big blobby tears. You'd think after a week of this, he'd be too dehydrated.

"we-- we really are!"

Alastor

He lifted his heels and flung an arm around Sir Pentious’s neck to pull him down close enough to butt their foreheads together. “We’re going to be fine. Right?” he asked. “We’ll get over ourselves, and—and get along just *terrifically.* We’ll be fine.”

Sir Pentious

*Bonk*--it rattles his dehydrated brain somewhat, but his arms come around the deerman tighter. Big intakes of breath, he's trying to get ahold of himself... Being able to touch *really* makes a difference for him.

"WE'LL BE FINE, YESSSS... WE'LL BE FINE."

Alastor

“*Good.*” Now he was crying, too. Clearly he returned the hanky too soon. He dropped his face back to Sir Pentious’s shoulder.

Sir Pentious

Two old men, hugging tightly to one another and *crying.* Rosie, don't come in.

Alastor

She’d better not. Alastor planned on holding Sir Pentious either until he was told to get off or one of them fainted from dehydration.

Sir Pentious

After a while of hugging... Sir Pentious felt that maybe! It was time to go home to his wife. He'd love to stay, but actually, he wouldn't--he was *tired* and *sore* and *exhausted*............ he had his best friend again and would love to hang out properly! When he wasn't a mess. He began to uncoil... "ALASSSTOR, I SHOULD BE GOING, YOU KNOW... I'M VERY TIRED..."

Alastor

He clung tighter when Sir Pentious started to loosen—not yet, he hadn’t had enough yet—but reluctantly let go when Sir Pentious said he needed to leave.

He wanted to offer to let Sir Pentious rest here, if he was tired—but no, not appropriate. Absolutely not appropriate. Anyway, Alastor wasn’t much better; he was developing an impressive headache, himself. He wasn’t sure if it was from sleep deprivation or from crying his eyes out on Sir Pentious’s shoulder—

If *Alastor* had a dehydration headache, then Sir Pentious had to be even worse off, didn’t he? “Hold on,” he said firmly. He poured a cup from that long-neglected teapot and held it out to Sir Pentious. “You’ve been leaking like a faucet since you got here. I’m not letting you leave like this, you’ll shrivel up like a worm on the sidewalk. Drink.”

Sir Pentious

!! Oh... He takes the cup, somewhat less *hot* now.... but the care that Alastor showed him was most definitely *felt.* Sir Pentious nods his head, smiling as he drinks the tea down... ohhh. That felt good. Actually. He offers the cup forward...... A little bashfully. ... More please.

Alastor

Alastor just chugged his whole cup like he was taking a shot and was in the process of refilling it when Sir Pentious asked for more. “Another round for everyone, eh?” He refilled Sir Pentious’s cup, then held up his own. “Cheers.”

Sir Pentious

Penny smiles, into a toothy grin--and he snorts. "ALASSSTOR... DO YOU EVEN *LIKE* TEA?"

Alastor

“Hate it! But I’ve only got myself to blame, I’m the bad planner who only supplied us with tea, aren’t I?” He tossed back his second cup. Bleh.

But Sir Pentious was smiling again. Alastor hardly tasted the leaf juice.

Sir Pentious

COLD leaf juice. He cackles... A high pitched giggling. Down the hatch!

"YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN ABLE TO *DRINK* ANYTHING BOOZY SINCE THISSSS ALL HAPPENED." A little bit of a sniff, "NOT THAT *ALCOHOL* REMINDSSS ME OF YOU, BUT RATHER... THE *COMRADESHIP* OF THE EVENT DOES...."

Alastor

“*Hah.* I haven’t been able to risk it.” A grimace. “When I’m drinking in a bad mood, it’s to skip over as much time as possible. I didn’t want to risk you coming over to be told that I was going to be unconscious for the next four days.”

Sir Pentious

"AH..." He nods his head and.... slithers around to put an arm around his friend's shoulders, nuzzling his cheek. Too much? DEAL! WITH IT!!!

Alastor

The cup is DOWN on the table and Alastor’s arms are AROUND Sir Pentious again and that’s THAT. There was no such thing as too much. He’d been snake deprived for half a century and after just a few scant months of getting a regular dosage of snake he’d suddenly plummeted into withdrawal by being forced to go cold turkey again. He was taking everything he was offered.

Sir Pentious

Prrrr...... You get terrible, horrible Cobra sounds. He's going to.... plant a kiss! To Alastor's forehead. It's such a kind, gentle gesture. A gesture of "I trust you and care about you." It didn't have to be romantic, it was friendly. Only three people have been bestowed Penley forehead kisses. Be elevated in status of the SOUL!

Alastor

He inhaled sharply with a quiet record scratch sound, eyes wide with shock. His forehead blazed around the kiss.

He'd been kissed there before, once, decades ago, so near the scar of the shot that killed him—just as gently, by nearly identical lips. For a moment, Alastor couldn't breathe.

Sir Pentious

Sir Pentious couldn't see his reaction, as he put his chin on Alastor's head, mindful of the antlers. Prrrr... He's going to lie down with him, tail coiling again. OH NO! Too bad looks like he's going to get a nap in anyway. Or at least just... lie here for a while.

Alastor

Alastor was fine with that, his legs sort of felt like jelly anyway. He slid down to the floor with Sir Pentious, leaning against him the whole way down.

Before he lay down completely, Alastor took one of Sir Pentious's hands and gave him a return kiss, just as lightly, on his knuckles. Like a layman offering reverence to a bishop, like a subject demonstrating fealty to his king. It could be a platonic gesture. It definitely *wasn't,* but it could be.

Sir Pentious

*Prrrr.* His tail slithers around underneath the both of them. A very comfortable, squishy mattress. He means only to rest his eyes... He can *finally* relax after all of this tenseness.

Alastor

And Alastor got a *purr.* Not discomfort, not defensiveness. Sir Pentious didn't recoil from him. His dead heart soared.

Quick rest, nap, thousand-year coma—Alastor was game for anything. His eyes slid shut as he relaxed on Sir Pentious's coils.

It was good to be home again.

[dreamingofhypno]

Getting Back to Nature

[A young man finds himself lost in the jungle and encounters a strange serpent]

The jungle heat was immense with hot and thick air. The jungle was more lush than he could’ve imagined with dense leaves and colourful flowers. Chris followed his tour group step by step through the bends and curves of the path. He was a good-looking guy with a strong jaw and brow bone, slightly neanderthalic, but in a hot way. He had found his way onto this tour during a backpacking trip across Asia just after finishing university. He wasn’t a conformist and liked going his own way but, decided it would be best to explore the Indian jungle in a guided group lest he cross paths with the dangerous creatures which lurk inside. 

“Legend has it that strange and powerful creatures reign over this jungle” the tour guide announced while the group followed, “many from the local villages pay homage to these creatures by making offerings, they are like deities to them”.

Chris pondered this. What about a jungle animal would be so fearsome to consider it a deity? After all, mankind can dominate nearly any creature it sees fit?. Still, he didn’t want to have to fend for himself out there. This dense jungle was a world away from the quiet English forest he had grown up around. As the group trailed on he daydreamed about the woods and fields from his boyhood. When he was young he liked nothing more than to run free in the natural surroundings of his hometown. No conformity, no rules, it felt like there were limitless possibilities when he was around nature. As a young boy it took him a while to conform to the normative rules of society when he was so used to following his more simplistic, natural inhibitions. Because of this, he was often thought of as an imaginative guy with a vivid imagination, with a tendency to get lost in his thoughts. It came as a surprise to him then, when he reached a fork in the road and his tour group nowhere to be seen.

It took him a second to gather himself. He hadn’t realised that he had slipped so far behind the rest of the group. “It’s ok” he thought, “they must not be far.”

“Hello?...Hello??....HEY!...”

He shouted after them. He listened to hear a response. A few long seconds passed. All he heard in return was deafening insect chirps and bird calls. His eyes darted between the 2 paths in front of him. He had no clue where either of them went. “Fuck ok, 50/50 chance” he rationalised, and legged it down the left-hand path. He knew he was ‘supposed’ to stay put but he didn’t like the thought of himself being a sitting duck for some carnivorous predator. He continued to jog through the jungle, passing countless trees, boulders and shrubs all the while shouting out for his tour group. As the pathway became more and more overgrown he began to think that he had made the wrong decision. He was a fit guy but even for him the think humid air wore him down faster that he expected. His already warm body was now sweating through the loose tank top he was wearing. He hoisted the top over his head and felt some relief as his bare torso was exposed to the open air. The hair on his chest and stomach blew gently as he moved forward.

“Dead end” he thought. Frustratingly, he turned around and began his way back the route he came. He checked his mobile. No signal. He began to panic slightly. Before he reassured himself that he wasn’t that far from the group but now the thought that he might actually get lost out here was becoming dangerously real. This panic made him step up his pace as he passed through trees and bushes followed by trees and bushes followed by…the same trees and bushes? He could swear he had already passed these trees before. His heart sank. 

He was well and truly, lost. 

Chris breathed deeply in and out. “It’s ok” he reassured himself, “it’s ok, they’re gonna notice that I’m gone and they’ll send someone out to find me”. He looked up to the sky, it was still mostly light out but it was starting to ever so slightly turn. “It’s probably best if I stay put somewhere”. He had reached a small opening that seemed like a good place as any to stay put. He took a seat at a conveniently placed tree stump. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. It was strangely peaceful being out here in nature, feeling the air against his bare skin. His shorts were stifling after all that activity and he wasted no time in taking them off. The air cooled his hot thighs and he was now only left in his loose red boxer shorts. His thumb hesitated around the elastic waistband of his boxers. Chris looked around. He knew no one else was around but getting completely naked still felt so risqué even if it felt wonderful. What if there was someone was watching? Indeed, he almost felt as if the jungle had eyes everywhere. 

Chris pondered the futility of this whole situation. Even out here, with no one around for miles he still couldn’t quite bring himself to just let go, to be completely naked and free of inhibitions. Just as he had that thought he could hear rustling in the canopy above and a strangely familiar sound.

"Sssssay now, what have we here? Has a mancub wandered into my domain?"

A voice came out of the foliage above. Chris, shocked by hearing another person immediate jumped up, hoisted his shorts back up and reached for his vest.

"Ohhhhh, have I caught you at a bad time?" the voice said playfully.

Chris had just managed to get back into his vest before turning around to face this stranger but, much to his surprise, he saw only the familiar jungle scenery. He looked around trying to find the source of his intruder.

"erm, I'm so sorry It's just I thought I was alone and er..." he trailed off trying to defend himself. "God, the only other person around for miles and they probably think I'm some kind of pervert" he thought, as his face turned red from the embarrassment.

"Well that'sssss nothing to be ashamed of, mancub hss hss hss" the playful voice above responded from above as it grew clearer.

"Sorry um, where are you exactly?" Chris asked as he searched the leaves above.

"Of course, where are my mannersssss..."

A green python with bright yellow eyes slithered down slowly from a branch above Chris, "my name, is Kaa. Nisssssse to see you, mancub".

Chris was stunned. What is going on? Had the heatstroke set in?? He watched in disbelief as the talking serpent gently dropped down to his eye level. Not only was he talking to a serpent, but one with an attitude??

"In fact, it's nice to see sssssso much...of you hss hss hsss!" Kaa laughed. 

Chris blushed, suddenly aware of how much this snake had been eyeing him up. 

“oh er...right, sorry, I thought I was alone and….”, he trailed off, embarrassed that of all things, a talking snake, had intruded on what he thought was a solitary moment. Chris took a second to take a look at this new acquaintance. He was clearly a sizeable python, long enough to hang comfortably from the branches above. But what stood out the most about Kaa was his large yellow eyes. They were bright, almost luminescent which stood out against surrounding jungle. Chris wondered, with eyes that bright how he could’ve missed them peering down at him from above.

"I'm Chris by the way" he introduced, offering his hand, then quickly returning it when he realised that he was talking to, well, a snake. Kaa chuckled at the manners of the mancub and brought down the tip of his tail from the canopy above. It wrapped itself in a loop around Chris's hand and gave it a gentle shake. He watched the cool scales of the serpent brush against his palm and returned to meet his gaze. His eyes were truly captivating, so large and bright that they almost demanded to be looked at.

“Pleasure to meet you mancub”, Kaa responded. 

“Umm, I don’t mean to be rude but...

“Yesssss?”

“You can...talk?”

“Hss hss hss, i can do many thingsss mancub, the jungle is home to many experiencesss most humans...could only dream of”, Kaa looped a coil and draped himself over Chris’s broad shoulder, cozying up to him. “you know, it’s such a shame we don’t get more humanssss in these parts don’t you think Chrissss?”

He pondered what Kaa had said. What kind of experiences was he talking about? And why would Kaa want more humans in these parts? It was pretty obvious why there weren’t any other people around.

“I mean, jungles are pretty dangerous, you’ve got tigers, bears, snak-”

Kaa raised a brow. 

Chris gulped. “I mean er...panthers?”

Kaa didn’t look convinced. 

“Shit”, Chris thought. He is a predator. I should keep him on my good side or else I could end up his next meal. He was still perplexed over how a literal talking python could remain so unknown. Anyone who came in contact would surely notify the media or scientists…unless? In order to do that one would actually have to get back to civilisation which means...

 Chris gulped, brushed off Kaa’s coil, and took a few steps back.

“So er, would you happen to know how I could get back to my tour group? I’m sure they’re looking for me and I’d hate to keep them waiting and it’s getting a little late and-”, 

“Oh? Leaving so ssssoon?” Kaa interrupted, “and here I thought we were starting to find sssome common ground”

“No no no! It’s nothing like that I just I-I really need to be getting back and yknow I’m on a whole trip so-“

“And to think you were so clossssssse, tsk tsk tsk…”, he shook his head and turned away, as if disappointed.

Chris was confused. Close to what exactly? What was this snake talking about? Now was his opening, Kaa wasn’t facing him and he could easily outrun him. He told himself to turn around and get out but, a little morsel of curiosity was holding him back. What did Kaa know that he didn’t?

Against better judgement, he asked “close to what exactly?”,

“Well, let me assssk a question mancub, when was the last time you felt truly free?”,

There were a few moments of silence between them as Chris thought of what to reply but before he could respond, Kaa already had his answer.

“I’m willing to bet it was a few minutesssss ago, wasn’t it?”

“W-what do you mean?” he said, a little stunned.

Kaa laughed, he was constantly amazed by the inability of humans to recognise even their most basic urges.

“Hss hss hss, when I sssaw you from above, I saw a mancub getting in touch with what he really desires...being his most natural sssself....you were so closssse to having your whole manhood proudly on disssplay”.

Chris gulped and started to feel blood rushing to the growing bulge in his shorts. He didn’t know what to say, it was as if this strange serpent had looked right into his innermost desires that even he was too embarrassed to admit to himself. He turned away, looking at the ground shyly. He didn’t want to admit it. He didn’t want Kaa to be right, he didn’t want to be some kind of exhibitionist...but he couldn’t deny how good it felt. How free, excited, and aroused he started to feel when he had stripped off like that. He knew what he really wanted was to be completely bare, out here in the open, for all of nature to see his nakedness.

“That’sss a kind of experiencssss...I can offer you”

Chris’s mind was getting increasingly fuzzy. He didn’t know what to say or think. His inner, primitive desires had been spoken out in the open and he didn’t know how to process it. What did Kaa mean? What kind of experience? His mind started running with possibilities about what that might feel like. The kind of pleasures it would hold. His cock was getting stiffer and stiffer as his curiosity was piqued.

“...h-how could you do that?”, he asked, raising his head back up to face Kaa.

He smirked a knowing grin.

“Oh, I have my own ssssubtle ways. Now…look into my eyes, won’t you?”

Chris looked forward at Kaa’s bright eyes and watched in amazement as they began to pulsate rings upon rings of colourful rays. Green...purple...yellow. It was as if he was watching the most beautiful display he had ever seen. So captivating and enriching, the colours blended into one and other in ways he couldn’t believe. He just had to keep watching to see what beautiful rings would pulsate from Kaa’s eyes next.

“Thaaaaat’s it mancub, jussssst keep looking into my eyes”, Kaa told his new subject. 

Chris felt his eyes widen uncontrollably, as if his unconscious mind was forcing him to take in as much of the beautiful display as he could. His mouth fell agape at the sheer surprise of such an amazing illusion. He gazed onward and started to feel the pulsation of Kaa’s eyes to be matched in his own. In doing so, his field of vision became completely saturated with the dazzling colours. In every direction there was a stunning display.

“Kaa wha....what is....”, Chris trailed off. He could barely string a sentence together. His mind was getting increasingly fuzzy and difficult to think. He had no idea what was happening. What on earth this display was. But his body knew. And it knew that it felt incredibly good. The bulge in his shorts was getting bigger as his cock got more and more stiff with each colourful pulse. 

Kaa’s playful smile had now become sinister. He had the mancub right where he wanted him. He knew how mancubs functioned. How intelligent they thought they were. How much they denied their animalistic desires, how just teasing the smallest primitive pleasure, was enough to crumble all of their restraint. Kaa knew from when he first saw Chris what he had found. A lost boy, looking to find that youthful sense of freedom once again.

“Thaaaaat’s it mancub, it feels, sssso good, doesn’t it?”.

His slacked jaw slowly twisted into a smile. Chris’s mind was slipping away from him. It was like the messages sent in his brain were now traveling slower and slower through an increasingly dense fog. The problem for him was that this included those little precautions that had previously told him that he was face to face with a dangerous predator. They had been completely dwarfed by the only thing that was now on his mind: pleasure.

He nodded, keeping his eyes fixed on Kaa’s gaze. He didn’t even think of his response. He was asked if it felt good. And he nodded. Because he felt very, very good. 

“Good...it felt so nicssssse to be naked again didn’t it? so nicssssse to be free and natural” Kaa reassured Chris. He nodded his head again, this time a little more sluggish. Kaa knew he was reaching his cliff of restraint and that before long he would only need a little nudge to tip him over the edge.

“So why don’t we take care of these pesky restraintssss shall we? hss hss hss...” Kaa gestured to Chris’s clothes with the tip of his tail. He nodded sluggishly and without thinking, lifted his vest over his head and pulled down his shorts.

That instinctive freedom was coming back to him. He was once again that young boy at peace in nature, free from rules and restriction and curious about the wonders of the natural world.

“Aren’t you forgetting a little ssssomething?”, Kaa’s tail caressed up Chris’s bare thigh and gently snapped the waistband of his boxers. “Don’t you want to get naked?”.

Chris nodded. His last gram of resistance was the only thing stopping him. His deep subconscious knew that this pleasure was undeniable. This feeling was coming for him no matter what.

As he continued staring into Kaa’s eyes he could feel it approaching. A feeling of absolute freedom, submission and bliss. 

A peak. 

A cliff. 

It was coming. 

Closer. 

And closer. 

Whether he embraced it or not.

Either way. 

He was going to pull down his boxers.

Let his manhood spring out and…

*PING*....

Kaa’s eyes stopped pulsing colours as he swung back to admire his latest catch. He couldn’t believe his luck! A sizable and lean male specimen was standing in front of him, upright and stiff, as if standing to attention. While Kaa had ceased his hypnotic stare, Chris’s eyes were still wide open, pulsing the same colours he had been gazing into just moments ago.

“There now...that wassssn’t so hard now was it?” Kaa asked playfully.

Chris shook his head. His smile was beaming as if he was so utterly happy and joyful to be in this wonderful state. Kaa knew that at this point the mancub was completely defenceless. He had no weapon. He had no clothes. He didn’t even have any free will. He was just a mindless, naked mancub so overloaded with pleasure he couldn’t do anything but stand there, arms at his side, cock upright and stiff, and bask in this bliss.

Kaa smacked his lips and appreciated his latest capture. This mancub was certainly going to become a part of nature very, very soon.  

[doublegoblin]

Cavern Chronology Log: 7 (Final)

[Does he know? -V]

Description: Transcription segment of larger video recordings recovered from Site 3. Analysis of the subjects show connections to a now defunct web series. Subjects presumed to be said host of the series; who will be referred to in text as Clyde

Note: We are still working on getting some supplementary material figured out but this is the end of it. Let us know how you would like to proceed.

Date: 08/13/02 Time: 6:00PM

Almost poetically the data is first usable after a crack of thunder and blinding flash of lightning. Dark green clouds block out most of the sunlight making it look like twilight. A harsh wind howls and rips leaves from trees as Clyde is sprinting through the forest. Rain had just started to fall as the cave from the first segment came into focus. Clyde stops and leans on a nearby tree; his breathing is strained and rattly. Wheezing and coughing he stumbles towards the opening. In the distance the sound of howling dogs and far off shouts. Through the dim lighting pin pricks of light sway to and fro. 

The cacophonous assault of noises is quieted as he slips past the threshold and into the stoney depths. Turning around a slight corner he hides behind a larger rock formation and the camcorder is pointed directly at the opening. Canines and officers are seen approaching the cave entrance, before another thunderclap. The sudden noise startles the dogs and men. As one looks to the sky some words are spoken between the group and they leave. The view of the camcorder slides back behind the rock formation and Clyde sighs.

Standing he heads down deeper and deeper. Most of our view is of total darkness as no light is produced to illuminate. Our guess is that Clyde at this point has either an inherent knowledge of the topography of the cavern, is able to observe in low or no light conditions, or a combination of these and other factors. 

He remains mostly silent during his descent; apart from noises of pain and exertion.

Date: 08/13/02 Time: 09:17PM

The snap of a glowstick. Dim light coats a small alcove in jaundiced light. Cross examination has concluded that this is the same alcove where Clyde first saw the drawings on the cavern wall, though they are missing at this time. He sets the camcorder down on a flat part of the ground and points it directly at the blank space where the drawings would be. Cast in shadows he takes a seat in the center of the frame and fidgets with some of his clothing.

Clyde: H-hey troggies. It’s me…ya boy [a pained sigh] no theatrics. I…I don’t kn-know how much l-longer I h-h-have left. 

[He tosses the sunglasses past the camcorder. Where his eyes would be are two pin pricks of light.]

Clyde: Th-this is going to b-be a w-w-will of s-sorts, an-and a confess-ess-ession. I d-dobut anyone w-w-will find this…but…j-just in case.

[A short pause, then Clyde just enters into frame. Most of his body is obscured by shadow. What can be seen is an ash white complexion dotted with open and oozing sores. Skin is pulled tightly around a withered frame. Reaching out with a hand the nails have fallen away and the tips necrotic and black. He turns his hand over and dark veins pulse as fluid thicker than blood ebbs and flows in an undulating rhythm. He returns mostly into the darkness and speaks once more.]

Clyde: M-my name…my name is…fuck…Clyde, um, damn it [laughter(weak)] sorry. L-last name is gone. A lot o-of thingsss are g-gone. I feel…feel…feel l-l-like I’m fading away. L-like a dream. [He winces and shakes his head before continuing, a new lucidity] It all started when we c-came into this cave. I th-think I had friends with me. We found something…a door. Then [another pained wince] we woke up outside. I th-think something got me? My head really hurt…f-for a while. Then I got r-real numb? [Pained groan] I’ve been forgetting things…and not f-feeling l-like I’m the one dr-dr-driving? [He stumbles forward, gaunt face staring forward.] If an-an-anyone finds this…ple-please give it to my folks. [Blood trickles down from his nose and right eye] Mom…Dad…I’m sorry, and I love you…g-g-goodbye.

His body falls limp while something moves just under the top layer of skin.

[A slight hiccup in video, during which his body moves and the lens cap is placed back on. What can be seen is half of Clyde’s head peeling away. A quick glimpse of something humanoid but also insectoid.]

Date: 08/14/02 Time: 10:13pm

The lens cap was left on during this recording. There are sounds of dripping water with heavy echoes. Some form of rough scraping noise. Also the sounds of something dense and wet being torn.

Date: 08/07/02 Time:???

The camcorder is activated(reactivated?). At first there was no video, only the sound of blowing wind. Then a loud impact, which knocks the lens cap off the device, showing the fenced off portion of area 3. Before the video cuts out once more.

[He will now. Thank you and your team for their hard work. Be sure to check on Epsilon regularly, these revelations tend to be hard to handle for most. -T]

[lostatsea-eric-blog]

"Isn't this great? The salty sea air, the wind blowing in your face. Aaah, the perfect day to be at sea!" -Prince Eric

Archetype — The Hero can be Caregiver too Birthday — January 22, 1988 Zodiac Sign — Aquarius MBTI — ISFJ Enneagram — 2; The Helper Temperament — Phlegmatic Hogwarts House — Gryffinpuff Moral Alignment — Lawful Neutral Primary Vice — Pride Primary Virtue — Kindness Element — Air

Overview:

Mother — Katherine Andersen nee Hightower Father — Derrick Andersen Mother’s Occupation — Lawyer Father’s Occupation — Owner of Andersen’s Marina Industries which includes ship/boat building and repairs as well as marine equipment manufacturing. Family Finances — Wealthhyyy. Aside from owning a company, they also got that ollddd moneeyy ayyeeee Birth Order — Numero two Brothers — None Sisters — Four!!! Apparently, Eric was the only boy his parents were able to produce xD but only three out of the four sisters are alivvee. Olivia is the oldest of the Andersen bunch (32), then came Eric (30), followed by Aileen (RIP mermaid ate her chomp chomp), then Vittoria (20) anddd Alessandra (19) Other Close Family — He has a niece and a nephew!! Christian (12) and Sofia (9). He adores them and is an awesome and wonderful uncle kk they adore him backkk!! They’re Olivia’s kids. Best Friend — Max!!!!!!! lmao He was very close to Aileen too :((( Other Friends — The Order becaussee his life basically revolved around it Enemies — All SEA CREATURES OUT THERREE I meann other monsters too, like monsters are monsters he won’t kill one just because they don’t live in the water buttttttt he specializes in the water dwellers. Conflicted with mermaids. A mermaid killed his sister, a mermaid saved his life it’s a rough struggle right now. xDD He’ll be on the hunt for answersss.  Pets — Max!!!!!!!!! Yes, directly stolen from the movie with absolutely no shame. His best-friend, his CHILD, his beautiful big fluff of pure love Old English Sheep Dog Maxxxxxxx.   Home Life During Childhood — Not shabby at all. Just going to put it out there he was/continues to still be dad’s favorite. Only boy, so of course it was only natural, plus he proved to be an #awesome Prince becoming the best in his specialized field so old Derrick is very prouudd. Things were a little rough for the Andersen’s during Aileen’s death, but they patched up. All in all, Eric was very loved, pampered, and aside from the death of his little sister, didn’t suffer much trauma in his childhood. Town or City Name(s) — Camogli, Italy is where he’s from and then Eric has basically bopped around the seas of Europe, living in many of Europe’s coastal regions. What Did His or Her Bedroom Look Like — Pretty normal looking. Eric really isn’t the messy type at all, so for the most part his room was pretty kept. Had the standard furnishing. He didn’t care too much for decorating any decoration in his room was marine influenced. Any Sports or Clubs — Captain of the swim team in high school. Eric is an excellent and v agile swimmer as well as a bomb ass diver. Didn’t really indulge in sport teams though when he hit Uni because there was no time in between having full time Prince dutieess. Surfing, he does surf. Jet skiing he loves thaatt. Canoeing and kayaking he enjoys too.  Look any water sport he probably does. He’s like a fucking fish. Favorite Toy or Game — Of course he deff had little ship toys when he was young and those were his favorites!!! Even had those ships in a bottle hahaha, Sailing. Schooling — Primary, Secondary and University all completeeedd with a Masters degree. Wasn’t home schooled because ole Derrick didn’t want Eric to stay surrounded by all girls for his entire life xDD Favorite Subject — Science, specifically Marine Biology. Popular or Loner — Popular. Who didn’t love my sweet, shy, handsome sonnnn. xDD He’s like an introverted extrovert, deff shy but he does like people. It’s more in nature than like in complete mannerism if that makes any sense at all..... Important Experiences or Events — The death of Aileen, the beginning of his training enjoyed more of the sea stuff side of things, becoming a squire then rising up to a knight, the success of his very first solo hunnttt killed a SIRREENN, becoming a Prince, graduating and gaining his Masters, getting to travel all around Europpeee, and the death of his crew members :((( Nationality — Italian don’t think Matt Lanter is but shhhh I made Eric it anyways xD  He does have Scottish roots to him. His family originated from Scotland and then immigrated to Italy. Culture — Italian, and The Order bc that shit is basically a lifestyle Religion and beliefs — Raised Catholic and went to mass every Sunday like a good well-behaved boy. He’s not so heavily involved with it now, but like he’ll go to a mass from time to time to like appease his parents haha.

Physical Appearance:

Face Claim —  Matt Lanter Complexion — Fair skin, but not like pale fair, he got some good ole sun back in Italy Hair Colour — Dark Brown :/ I know it’s suppose to be that beautiful dark black but I had to comprimise to get my EYEESS Eye Colour — BLUUEEEE, a BEAUTIFUL crystal ocean BLUEEE Height — 5’10 Build — Athletic. Not like beefy or stocky, but definitely fit and toned. I meaann he goes around killing sea monsters and running ships course he’s going to be fitttt.   Tattoos — Nope. Piercings — Nope. Common Hairstyle — His hair is cut short. It’s always neat. Clothing Style — Simple. T-shirts, jeans, boots. He does own a variety of like weather coats for when he’s hitting the seas. On days he’s working on the University he knows how to dress it up, so he’ll wear his like button downs, still with jeans though haha. Eric deff knows how to dress up for occasions that calls for them, what Prince doesn’t thoughhhhh Mannerisms — Scratches at the back of his neck, runs hands through his hair, can have restless leg syndrome from time to time, jaw clenching when angry  

Health:

Overall (do they get sick easily)? — Nope. Eric has awesome health, physically. Physical Ailments — None. Neurological Conditions — Probably got some PTSD going on from seeing the death of his sisterrr and then from the night of the storm :/ Allergies — None Grooming Habits — Great. Believer in looking groomed and showering twice a day haha Sleeping Habits — Not too bad. The occasional nightmare from his PTSD, but other then that Eric can pretty much sleep anywhere. Like if you can sleep on a ship in the middle of the ocean then I’m sure you’re pretty seettt.   Eating Habits — Eric is a health nuttt. Pesco-Vegetarian. Dairy free, though does cave with his protein shakes. Avid drinker of water. Likes for his food to be locally sourced. Course this is all from when he’s land base when he’s out at sea I mean it is what it is at that point haha Exercise Habits — Hits the gym a loottt. Exercises everyday even if he’s on a ship. When land base he’s normally a professor and so he hits the Uni pool every morning and does a good bout of laps. It’s how he starts his day. Emotional Stability — Pretty stable sorta kinda going through some shit at the moment no thanks to some recent events....   Body Temperature — Average I guess?? Sociability — Eric is like an introverted extrovert. He can be shy, but it’s not that kind of shy where it keeps him from talking to people or acting like he has no social cues. He likes talking to people, and all that fun stuff, but he can be reserved.   Addictions — None. Drug Use — Nope. Alcohol Use — Not really, maybe like the occasional here and there, but he isn’t much of a heavy drinker

Your Character’s Character:

Bad Habits — Stubbornness, can lose eye contact depending on what’s being spoken about, blunt with facial expressions, can get bored easily Good Habits — Kind, health nut, exercises, polite, honest, courteous Best Characteristic — Loyal, daring and kind Worst Characteristic — His pride Worst Memory — Witnessing the death of his baby sister Aileen Best Memory — His solo hunt and any memory he has with Aileen Proud of — His family, his sisters, his hunting accomplishments (though he’s questioning some of them), his solo hunt, his education Embarrassed by — Not a lot really. Eric is a pretty laid back type of dude, though miscalculating that storm could deff be one he’s embarrassed about Driving Style — Really good. He’s one of those that follows all the street laws and always stays within speed limit. Doesn’t have a car though at the moment with him, never really saw the need in getting one because he wasn’t having a sedentary life Strong Points — His intellect, thoughtfulness, kindness, determination, daringness Temperament — Laid back. Eric is a pretty lax guy although he can get passionate and peeved out about certain thingsss like family. Attitude — Determined Weakness — His stubbornness and pride too Fears — Lost of his family, he’s such a family guy /pets him Phobias — None Secrets — None so faarrr err well accept that he’s part of the Order which is a secret societtyy other than that Eric is a pretty open book Regrets — Not being able to save his sister and crew members Feels Vulnerable When — Speaking about personal problems and when he’s unable to protect those he loves Pet Peeves — Didn’t exactly have any like real pet peeve…. Conflicts — Mermaids hahaha. No but legit mermaids. One killed his sister and then one saved his life. He was so sure his entire life that all sea creatures were MONSTERS and all of them were BAD and just harmed/killed people (huge in part because of what happened to Aileen) and then a mermaid goes and saves his life like tf he didn’t ask for thaaatttt, so he’s currently on the hunt for some answers and it hoping Swynlake will provide him with themmm.  Motivation — Aileen. She’s like his driving force behind every hunt he has ever done/does. He loved her so muuccchh!!!! /crieesss Short Term Goals and Hopes — Figure out his conflict crisis please and thank you.   Long Term Goals and Hopes — Find LOOOVVEEEE, a true love because he’s such a lost romantic (though ironically isn’t a current priority), settle down, marry and have kiddddsssssss, he would love a bunch of kids and probs even run his family business Sexuality — Heterosexual, Demiromantic Day or Night Person — Day Introvert or Extrovert — Introverted extrovert Optimist or Pessimist — Optimist

Likes and Styles:

Music — More acoustic and instrumental. He’s not into like current stream music, hell if he even knew what’s currently playing on the radio. xDD He can play the flute took lessons when he was youngeerr. Books — A non-fiction fan when it comes to what he picks up to read. Definitely anything marine involved for sure!!!! Got interested in the Dan Brown series.   Magazines — Nope. Foods — Sea food. He does love his fish. Is a vegetarian so no meats aside from sea food, so like he’s a Pesco-Vegetarian. Not really into sweets basically at all. He’s a health-nut!!! Likes fresh food, and can actually cook too!!!!   Drinks — Water. Water. Water. He drinks a lot of water. Likes protein shakes too. Not much of a drinker. Dairy free for the most part. Animals — Dogs, well more importantly his dog. xDD Lover of all sea animals, that are not sea monsters haha Social Issues — Protection of mundus against dangerous monsters Favorite Saying — He grew up constantly seeing his family’s saying “A mari usque ad mare” From Sea to Sea. He’s actually fond of it more so because it involves the sea and Eric loves being on the ocean not really because of the history behind it all hahaha Color — Blues and greeennsss are his very very favorites. He does like gray too because gray is also found in his family’s coat of arms. Jewelry — In his family it’s a tradition for a silver chained necklace to be forged for the males of the family, normally the eldest in which case Eric is among his line. Eric though added a sea shell charm to his chain because it was Aileen’s favorite charm. He wears his chain all the time, never takes it off. Oh yeah then there’s his family ring buttttt he doesn’t go stunting that around. Games — Boating, jet-skiing, sailing, anything water involved, does enjoy horse riding, is ehh about jousting but whatever he does it when he has too, fencing  Websites — None really.... haven’t even decided yet if he has an insta looool TV Shows — Not a lot either omg horrible Eric!!! But there aren’t really TVs on ships sooo he’s not like an avid tv watcher. If anything he’d probs like documentaries he’s so ehhh about tv Movies —  Loooook he’d rather be out by the ocean side then sit down and watch a movie. He’s an out door person, staying in toooo long probably gets him sorta restless. Greatest Want — To settle down eventually. Find LOOVVEEE get married have some kiddos Greatest Need —Get this conflict shit situated and get back to the WATERRR. He wants his OCEAAANN

Where and How Does Your Character Live Now:

Home — Camogli, Italy is like his family home. Right now he’s in an apartment in Castle Suites would have loved more to live closer to the lake side by the WATTEERR but he doesn’t need a whole freaking house to himself. Household furnishings — Pretty basic. Favorite Possession — His necklace with Aileen’s charm on it <3 Most Cherished Possession — His necklace with Aileen’s charm on it <3 Married Before — Nope. Significant Other Before — Has had a few girlfriends before, but all have fallen through. None of them were THE ONEE. Children — Nope, but does want!!!! Like a bunncchh Relationship with Family — Closeee!!! He adores his family. Is close with his parents, adores his sisters and would do anything for them, loves his niece and nephewww. He often talks with them making sure to call them so that he can keep in touch. He’s the protective sort when it comes to his sisssterrssss. Car — Doesn’t have one at the moment, his life right now isn’t sedentary. He’s constantly moving from place to place and most of the time he’s on a ship sooo no need for a car too mcuch Career — Marine Biology Professor at Pride U; Prince in the Order Dream Career — He actually likes being a professorr, enjoys seafarer too which he does is often the helmsman. Anything water involveedd   Dream Life — Married with a big home back in his home town of Camogli or anything coastal region right by the beautiful ocean siiiddeee. There is definitely kids in his dreaamm lifffeee Love Life — Non existent at the moment Talents or Skills — He can play the flute, steer, captain and run a whole ship, fencing/ sword fighting, horse rider, swimmer, diver, fishing  Intelligence Level — Very well educated and is actually pretty nerdy in the things that he’s interested in

Your Character’s Life Before Your Story:

Past Careers — He has been a professor in different places. Helmsman and seafarer in more, takes any job ocean involving Past Lovers — Has had a few relationships in the past, but all have fell through. He hasn’t found his ONE yet :((( Biggest Mistakes — Miscalculating that fucking STORM. Biggest Achievements —Solo hunt, all his other successful hunts, becoming Prince, graduating Uni with both a bachelors and masters degree.