#(ain't about to put any tags on this lol) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

coconutcordiale · 2 years

Note

“If I could stop loving you, I would.” With any of the pilots

love that's a real long shot

pairing- hangman x pilot!reader (callsign violet)

synopsis- you and jake keep running into each other over the years and jake just can’t seem to let you go

warnings- fwb! happy ending!!! angst! 18+ for slight smuttiness (if you read my normal stuff this is extremely tame comparatively - just want to manage expectations 😉) light enemies to it’s just sex to pining to lovers. naval inaccuracies but it's my pretend world y'all just live in it, sad jake's pov but he's pretty he'll be fine

length- 7.7k

an- companion piece to this 0.6k drabble one time thing but that is not required reading - pretty much all of ott is revisited in this fic

i really, really don’t know how I feel about this one but i've been tinkering and agonizing over it forever and i have to be done so LOL here ya go

credit for the cs violet goes to my soulmate @justfandomwritings thank you for loving angst as much as i do, thank you for being brilliant

title courtesy of it ain't over - the black keys

tagging those that were upset with me for the ending of one time thing - @unstablecaffeinatedmind / @ahopelessromanticwritersworld / @gigisimsonmars / @flashyourgreeneyesatme / @forever-sleepy-sloth / @gingerbreadandpaper / @lovingjakeseresin

also - @mandylove1000 ily

Virginia Beach, 2019

Jake’s glad the packed bar gives him enough cover to stay hidden when he overhears Bradshaw asking his new roommate if she’s interested in him.

He bites back a huff of annoyance, not wanting to draw attention to himself. He talked to her for all of five seconds before mustache boy strutted up to make it very clear his friend was off-limits, was barely even flirting with her. Charming smiles are basically a reflex of his at this point.

“That man has never given a girl an orgasm.”

Jake rolls his eyes but keeps his mouth shut. It’s categorically untrue, but who cares what Bradshaw’s roommate thinks?

Your back is to him too, but he hears you hum in agreement, stifling a laugh. Jake’s hackles suddenly raise, and he briefly wonders why it irritates him so much that you seem to agree with that statement.

Rooster chokes on his beer. “Excuse me?”

She shrugs, fidgeting with her drink. “You were asking if I was into your friend – Hangman, was it? That should be enough of an answer.”

“I don’t really want to think about Seresin’s like in bed.”

“You’re breaking my heart, little bird,” Jake drawls from behind Rooster, figuring he should let you guys know of his presence before you get any further. “And here I thought we had something special.”

You roll your eyes before pushing your stool back. “Well, that’s my cue to leave.”

Jake immediately wonders what the appropriate amount of time is before he can excuse himself too.

“If you wanted to know what I’m like behind closed doors, you could’ve just asked, darlin’,” Jake murmurs from behind you, having found the corner of the bar you disappeared to. “I’d be happy to give you a lesson. I’m very hands-on.”

“Hard pass, Hangman.”

He smiles lazily, turning the charm up to full wattage and leaning on the bar next to you. Not close enough to make you uncomfortable, but enough to make you avert your eyes from his bicep and shift a little in your seat.

“I have a pretty good idea already.”

His smirk goes a little sharp around the edges, a predator locking in his prey. “That so? And what idea might that be?”

You raise an eyebrow. The derision you manage to convey in one unimpressed glance goes straight to his cock.

His eyes flash, fingers clenching around his beer, but he makes sure the infamous smirk stays put. “Think you’ve got me figured out?”

You shrug. “Guys that look like you are rarely anything more than a disappointment in bed.”

He smiles at that, leaning towards playful instead of goading, wondering if you’ve realized what you just admitted. “I think you’re pretty too, sweetheart.”

“You’re intelligent enough to know what you look like. It’d be stupid to pretend otherwise.”

He rolls his beer between his palms, gaze far away and calculating.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?” He asks, feigned innocence taking over as he brings his eyes back to you.

“Stop thinking about how you’re gonna get me to sleep with you.”

The problem for you is, Jake sees the way you look at him. And it’s nothing like the polite boredom he’s witnessed you grace guys with when they truly don’t have a chance with you.

“Tell me one thing, Violet,” he says, your callsign rolling off his tongue like honey. “Why is it that you’re so nice to everyone else, but so mean to me?”

“Maybe I just don’t like you that much,” you answer, but the barbs in your words are undermined by the way your eyes dart to his chest. He wants to pat himself on the back for going home to change out of his flight suit and into a threadbare grey t-shirt before coming out tonight.

Jake purses his lips, nodding like he’s seriously considering your words, leaning in, and lowering his voice. “Or maybe, you like me a little more than you’d care to admit.”

You shoot him a dirty look for invading your space. “You’d like to think that, wouldn’t you?”

Your thighs press together, almost imperceptibly. If he wasn’t completely attuned to you, he probably would’ve missed it.

Bingo.

“Tell me to fuck off and I will,” Jake rumbles, mouth ghosting over your ear now, too close to be played off as a joke. “Or let me prove you wrong.”

When you lift your eyes to meet his, refusing to shy away from him towering over you in your seat, there’s something dark, something glazed taking them over.

“A one-time thing and I’ll never bring it up again,” Jake promises. “I have new orders for Lemoore anyways; I leave in two days.”

“Fuck,” you whisper. “Take me home before I change my mind, Seresin.”

You’ve been gripping his hair for what seems like hours, thighs still shaking where they’re bracketed around Jake’s head.

“What was it – I’ve never given a girl an orgasm?” He asks smugly. “I must be some kind of prodigy, then.”

“Don’t ruin my afterglow,” you manage, voice hoarse. You’re still far too coherent for his liking, and Jake ducks his head back down, savoring the broken moan that rips from your throat.

He doesn’t stop until the only word you can form is his name.

North Island, 2020

“Look who showed up,” Jake calls from across the Hard Deck, eyes running down your body. He shifts, adjusting himself as subtly as he can. “If it ain’t Violet.”

As generic as your uniform is, all he can picture now is the body he knows lies beneath it.

“Hangman,” you say, not quite able to hide the smile tugging at the corners of your lips.

“Glad to see we have a runner-up for the TOPGUN trophy.”

You look almost, dare he say, fond? “Your ego hasn’t dimmed a bit, has it Hang?”

Jake gives you another obvious once-over, smirking to balance out the warmth he can’t keep out of his voice. “Good to see you, sweetheart.”

Jake’s skin has been buzzing all night, high off his win, drunk off being within inches of you outside the Hard Deck after thirteen weeks of having you just out of arm’s reach.

“Congratulations,” you say, and you don’t even seem that sore about it. Your eyes linger on where his shirt has slowly been coming unbuttoned as the night wears on when you add, “Can’t believe you beat me for first place.”

“An inevitability, darlin’.” Jake leans in, pleased to see your mouth part in his proximity. “Don’t tell anyone, but I might’ve worried you were gonna give me a run for my money for a second there.”

You scoff, but don’t move away, if anything you sway closer. His fingers twitch at his sides, fighting to pull you against him, aching to run his hands up your bare legs and under your flimsy sundress, to see if you’re as wet as the heat in your eyes suggests.

You turn to face the ocean, which just pushes your hips in closer to him and makes Jake’s mouth water. “Obviously. You barely won.”

He winks, knowing you’re keeping tabs on him from your periphery even as you pretend to study the crashing waves in front of you. “That’ll be our secret. Care to congratulate me in private?”

“Thought you said that was a one-time thing, Seresin.” There’s a teasing lilt to your voice and in that moment, Jake knows he’s won for the second time today.

“Shut up and meet me at my truck.”

You smirk, turning on your heel without another word.

Jake doesn’t take his time with you this time. Only immense self restraint and the threat of being slapped with a public indecency charge keeps him from bending you over in the parking lot of the Hard Deck.

It doesn’t help that you seem less than willing to wait too, running delicate fingers along the inseam of his jeans, letting your skirt ride higher and higher as you shift in the passenger seat, giggling as he swerves when he catches a glimpse of red lace between your thighs.

By the time you reach his house you’re practically dragging him up the stairs by his belt loops, looking like you’re heading for the bedroom before he pushes you back up against the front door and takes you right there.

The second round you only make it as far as the couch, but he at least manages to get your clothes all the way off.

When you finally end up in his bed you’re both still panting and spent, Jake curling around you even though he’s tacky with sweat.

“I’ll be in Lemoore, now that I’m done with TOPGUN,” you whisper when you’re forming coherent sentences again, so quiet he can hardly hear you over the wind whipping against his bedroom window. “I think it’s short term, but we’ll see.”

Something warm lights up in Jake that he doesn’t want to examine very closely. “Good, everyone there is shit at pool. I’m in need of some actual competition.”

You smile against his skin and he drops a kiss to the top of your head, wondering if you can feel his heart speeding up.

Lemoore, 2021

You’re tracing mindless shapes across Jake’s chest, playing with his chest hair when you rip the rug out from underneath him.

“Got my new orders.”

It’s always amused him how fond you are of his chest hair, so it takes a few seconds for your words to sink in. When he does, his entire body flashes hot, then cold. He hopes you don’t notice the rigidity suddenly running through him. “When do you leave?”

Your face is blank, frustratingly neutral. “Tomorrow.”

Jake takes as deep of a breath as he can manage without being noticeable. Which given your proximity to his chest, is not very. He wants to be mad you didn’t tell him sooner, but the rational part of his brain reminds him he has no right to be.

“Where to?” He asks after a few beats of silence when he’s pretty sure it’ll come out even.

“Fallon.”

The scoff he lets out is genuine, at least. “Gross.”

Your indifference breaks as you giggle against his skin at his derision and he forgets that this is the last time he’ll get to have you like this. For now, at least.

“Are you spending the night?”

Jake doesn’t know why you ask anymore, in the last year he’s said no to sleeping in your bed zero times. He's turned down the opportunity to save you from sleazy guys hitting on you in dive bars even less than that - which is to say he does it without being asked and without even checking if you want his help anymore. Tact really is his middle name.

But like always, you ask and like always, he fights to keep the eagerness out of his voice. He’s fortunate to have decades of practice of keeping his tone level under his belt. “If you want me to.”

“I do,” you whisper, face still tucked into him, but he manages to see your lips purse, looking like you want to say more.

You don’t, though, and Jake hides his smile in your hair rather than commenting.

“Good. Wanna wake you up with my mouth on you,” he murmurs, trailing said mouth against your soft skin. He wills himself to say something else, to tell you he’ll miss you, that he doesn’t want whatever this is to end.

But his tongue stays stuck, arms tightening as his body says what his lips can’t.

North Island, 2022

Jake’s fists are clenched by his side, nails digging into his palms, pinpricks of pain the only thing keeping him from seeing red.

“I’m sorry?” You look confused. Scarlet edges into the corners of his vision. “That I didn’t tell you they sent me back to TOPGUN too? I haven’t seen you in almost a year, Jake.”

“Don’t act like we haven’t talked since then.” Jake doesn’t want to know what his face looks like, his normally careful façade shattered in favor of quiet outrage. “I think you know you were supposed to mention it.”

You had talked. Mostly sporadic, surface-level texts. Memes of an exasperated Chris Pine on his press tour he knew you would get a kick out of. In return, he received a graph detailing Leonardo DiCaprio’s age versus his girlfriends’, noting a clear age limit. You kept your jokes about him being a future Leo to a minimum, at least.

And on one memorable occasion, you called him drunk, and he got to talk to you for an hour after you snarkily admitted to missing him.

Neither of you mentioned it the next day.

You deflate. “Maybe. I don’t know what you want from me. We were always playing by your rules here.”

Jake’s mouth forms a tight line. “Right. My rules.”

Some bullshit he said, before Lemoore, way back in Oceana. Before you’d slept together, before TOPGUN, before he’d gotten to know the real you, before you’d gotten under his skin.

“Let’s just get through this mission, it’ll be easier if we’re not fighting. You do enough goading with Rooster.”

Jake’s so caught up in his own head that he doesn’t even bother to protest about Rooster. He’s grinding his teeth, jaw clenched so the rest of his body can remain still. He knows, on some level, that he’s probably overreacting. But he mentioned this return to TOPGUN to you last week and he can’t help but feel like he’s playing catch up when suddenly you’re here too.

If there’s one thing Hangman doesn’t allow, it’s being left behind.

He doesn’t know why this is on the laundry list of things you refuse to talk about. That’s probably the most frustrating of it all. You’ve always been the puzzle he can’t quite figure out.

“We’ll stay out of each other’s way,” he finds himself saying, mask slipping back into place. “Focus on the mission.”

“Yeah, focus on the mission,” you echo, and Jake wonders if it feels hollow to you too.

Your head is on Jake’s chest again, bare legs tangled with his and the tension is finally bleeding from his body.

“Don’t like fighting with you,” you mumble, muffled by his arms wrapped around you.

“Ended well,” he jokes, magnanimously gesturing to your naked state just barely covered by the thin sheet. “Gave us a vigor we haven’t had in a while.”

He feels your cheeks grow warm where they’re pressed against his skin, clearly thinking back to the adrenaline laden, ‘thank God we’re alive sex’ that lead to the casualty of at least one lamp.

Jake silently thanks Maverick for being such a hot mess that the Navy is unlikely to worry about a few broken items in his bunk.

He smirks at your embarrassment, as if falling into bed together is anything new. It’s the post-orgasm glow, he knows it is, but Jake feels the truth bubbling to the surface. Wouldn’t it be so easy not to let this end?

“Yeah.” You sigh, not meeting his eyes. “I don’t know. All the arguing, then making up so we can fool around. It’s time for us to grow up, don’t you think?”

Jake lets the words die on the tip of his tongue.

“Probably,” he manages.

He kisses you deeply, saying what his lips won’t. He doesn’t mean for it to turn heated; he just can’t bear to let you go yet.

Making love is the only way to describe what comes next. You’ve been at this for a long time, going on three years, and you’ve fucked; hard and fast and fiery. You’ve slept together; gentle and languid and easy.

It’s never felt quite like this.

When he slides into you for what he knows will be the last time, he tries to memorize every line of your face, every gasp from your parted lips, every flutter of your lashes. It’ll be months before he forgets the soft, unguarded shine of your eyes, the way your fingers feel tangled on the nape of his neck.

It feels like goodbye.

North Island, 2023

Your name is out of Jake’s mouth before he can stop himself, longing bowling over his reasoning abilities. Every urge to text you that he stomped out over the last year shows itself as a waste since any sense of self-preservation goes out the window once he lays his eyes on you.

It doesn’t hurt any less to see you without warning in Coronado, but at least this time he holds onto the reigns tightly enough to keep his tone level.

Your voice is happy when you turn towards him, and Jake tries not to outwardly react. “Hangman, hi.”

He wants to rush over, grab onto you, and never let go. Wants to tuck his nose into your hair, smell warm citrus, and have that niggle in the back of his brain soothed.

He waves as you stride towards him instead, boots cemented to the floor. “Back in California already?”

You chuckle, the adorable, lyrical sound raising goosebumps on his arms beneath his flight suit. “Thank God. Fallon’s a shithole.”

Jake’s mouth is open to respond when he clocks someone with curly dark hair behind you, moving forward decisively to your side.

“Babe,” the guy says, and Jake’s spine stiffens, noting the inch or two he has over this mystery guy out of reflex. “Hope you weren’t waiting long.”

There’s a split second where your expression shutters, where Jake thinks the fight or flight thrumming through him might not be necessary.

But as quickly as it shows up it’s gone, and he finds himself hoping the boom of jets taking off covers up the sound of his chest cracking open.

“Brandon, this is Hangman. We were in the same class at TOPGUN.”

Jake’s mouth is dry, tongue glued to the roof of his mouth as he internally winces at the obvious reduction of your history.

“Riot,” Brandon says, sticking his hand out to shake. Jake tries not to crush the bones in his fingers.

Riot and Violet, he thinks sarcastically. How cute.

“You’re with the Eightballers.” Jake glances at his patches, making sure to keep his tone neutral.

Helicopters. He wants to roll his eyes.

Riot nods and you grin, letting it light up your whole face. “His friends can’t believe he ended up with a jet bro. Can you imagine the shit I have to endure, hanging out with these helo knuckleheads?”

You're unmistakably fond, and Jake feels bile rising in his throat. Mercifully, he’s saved from having to answer by a group of pilots trying to get your attention.

“It was good to see you." Your smile softens as you turn to leave, the sun shining around your head, painting you in gold.

He nods. “I’m sure I’ll see you guys around.”

Jake doesn’t sprint to get away from you, he’s too calculated for that, but it’s a near thing. If his strides are just a touch longer than normal, no one has to know.

North Island, 2024

“It’s nice, what you guys have,” Jake's mouth is saying outside the Hard Deck, celebrating your fucking engagement, of all things. The words taste like acid on his tongue.

“Don’t tell me, eternal bachelor, Jake Seresin is thinking about settling down. The women of California will be knocking down your front door.”

Jake wants to laugh, that that’s still what you think of him. But knowing it’ll just come out thick and wet, he keeps the noises to himself. He hasn’t done much in the last year to combat that reputation – Coronado’s smaller than he’d like and you’ve never seen him with the same girl twice because he hasn’t been with the same girl twice.

What’s that they say about old habits?

He takes another sip of his beer instead. “No.”

The teasing is still lighting up your features, barely visible in the moonlight. “Just an introspective mood then, huh? Don’t hurt yourself.”

“Thinking about what it might’ve been like.”

“What?”

“To be with you.”

You blink.

“You never gave me a shot,” Jake continues. He can’t help himself. “You were always convinced I wouldn’t pull the trigger.”

“I don’t think you would have.”

“I think you’re wrong. Doesn’t matter now though, does it?”

Jake tries to smile, but it comes out more like a grimace. He can’t help but reach out for you, squeezing your wrist one last time, studiously avoiding looking at the diamond on your other hand. “I’m happy for you, sweetheart.”

It’s only partially a lie.

Jake wishes he could say the noise wakes him up, but he’s already busy staring at his ceiling fan and its endless circles when he hears the pounding on his front door.

He knows it’ll be you before he finishes rubbing the tiredness out of his eyes.

“What the hell is your problem?”

Jake scrubs his hand over his chin, nose scrunching. “Sweetheart, it’s the middle of the night.”

You glower at him in response.

Whether it’s for the term of endearment or the fact that he couldn’t keep his mouth shut in the face of your blinding diamond ring or some combination of the two, he doesn’t know. What he does know is that you have every right to be mad at him, after spilling secrets he’s held close to his chest for years.

He sighs, wishing he could say the timing was an accident, but he can’t lie to himself quite that well. “Come inside at least, so the neighbors don’t call the cops.”

Apparently, your earlier question was rhetorical because the moment the door is closed, you’re rambling, talking at him, really. After a couple of minutes of watching you spew a bunch of nonsense to skirt around the issue at hand, with no end in sight, Jake sighs again and moves into the kitchen to pour himself a drink.

The wooden chair creaks as he settles his weight into it, sliding a glass over to you wordlessly. He’s not even sure you’ll notice it’s there, but you pick it up and gesticulate wildly with it before taking a sip. He’s somewhat impressed you don’t spill a drop.

You haven’t sat down, can’t seem to stop moving and Jake wishes he had a toothpick.

“We were so chaotic, Jake. We wouldn’t have worked.”

You finally look at him, taking a deep breath. Jake wonders about your lung capacity since you clearly haven’t breathed since barging into his off-base housing.

“I’m not arguing.”

You’re pacing back and forth, frustration bleeding from every pore. “What do you want me to say?”

Despite everything, Jake manages a smirk at that, albeit dimmer than normal. “I haven’t said anything for, like, ten entire minutes.”

The scowl he gets for that little comment is unbearably cute. He tries to ignore the tightening in his chest, stay in reality. “Is that what you stormed over to my house in the middle of the night to tell me, that we shouldn’t be together?”

You visibly deflate. “I don’t know why I’m here.”

There’s an inkling in the back of Jake’s brain that says he does, but he tells it to shut up.

You do not have a history of sticking around when it comes to verbal confrontation, and he’s painstakingly aware that one misstep could have you sprinting out the door.

It was something that worked well with you two, at the beginning, when everything was easy and fun. Blowing off steam with the competition, neither of you had ever been any good at talking so you figured why bother?

“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

“Why now? Don’t you think your timing sucks a little bit?”

“I don’t know.”

It’s a lie.

He knows. As much as he’d like to tell himself he was overwhelmed, seeing the ring on your finger, watching everyone congratulate you and your fiancé, deep down he knows that’s not true.

Like everything he does, it was deliberate. There was something telling him this was his last chance. Is his last chance.

“If I could stop loving you, I would.”

You drop down into the chair across from him, stalling as your brain clearly restarts.

“Loving, present tense?”

There’s a weariness to your voice that he doesn’t like one bit, which makes his heart drop into his stomach as he’s reminded of the risk in telling you this. A calculated risk, but still a risk. One where he’s already bet big, his chips all in, but the river is flipping over, and his gut tells him before he sees it that it’s not the card he needs.

He takes a sip of his Balcones, hoping the burn scorches the rampage building beneath his ribs.

You purse your lips, waiting for a response.

Jake shrugs, but he’s aware it doesn’t have the effect he’s going for when the tension refuses to bleed from his shoulders.

You look like you’ve forgotten how to breathe and will pass out any minute now. Jake debates the merits of passing out to get out of the hell that is this confession.

He avoids your eyes instead. Coward, his brain screams at him, willing him to look up at meet your gaze. “I’ve tried to stop.”

Hangman makes strategic withdrawals. When someone can’t be needled into responding, he pulls back. This is different. He’s never backed down from confrontation out of fear and he hates it, like he’s just discovered his skin doesn’t quite fit him.

Your mouth opens and closes several times without a noise leaving and it frustrates him to no end. When he grits his teeth, he doesn’t know if it’s to hold back the pleading and desperation or frustration at having flayed himself open only to receive silence. “Say something.”

“I’m shipping out,” you tell him as if that’s any sort of answer. “On Monday.”

Jake blinks. That's only three days from now, he wants to say. Opens his mouth and closes it, once, twice. Doesn’t bother with a third time. It won't change anything.

Maybe that is his answer. Let this go, this hope he’s carried onto multiple aircraft carriers, through several states, across endless miles of sky.

This is you telling him to let you go. To start over.

Hawaii, 2025

Some things have changed in 2025. Jake’s ability to control his mouth at the sight of you is not one of them.

“Where’s our helo hero?”

He feels pretty good about that one. As hard as it is to see you, as much as his entire being aches to touch you, he’s going to be normal with you and your fiancé. He owes you that at least.

Unfortunately, for him or for you – he doesn’t know who suffers more at this point – normal includes the patented Hangman barbs he just can’t seem to let go of.

“Seresin,” Phoenix whispers harshly.

Jake immediately thinks he’s missing a puzzle piece, that he’s flying blind, making a drop decision without a laser. Unwilling to admit anything he does what he always does; he rolls his shoulders back and smirks.

You shift from on your feet, clearly uncomfortable. “He’s not coming.”

He can’t resist the jab, but it feels sticky in his mouth. “Aw, come on, the rest of us managed to sync up our leaves, but helos are just too important?”

Phoenix pinches the bridge of her nose, scowling at him, murder in her eyes. “Hangman, shut up.”

He tries to pretend that look doesn’t send chills down his spine, but he’s man enough to admit that Natasha Trace could put the fear of God into just about anyone.

You cough, shifting uncomfortably on your feet. “Uh, we broke up.”

Jake looks around, sure the world is suddenly tilting the wrong way on its axis. Fortunately, the rest of the group seems to be trickling in, so you and Phoenix don’t detect his crisis.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he murmurs quietly while Phoenix is distracted by Bradshaw strutting towards them. “I didn’t know.”

You give him a tight-lipped smile, a mask so familiar he feels like he’s staring into a mirror. Jake’s seen this cover before, it’s fight or flight. In the next few seconds, you’ll either be pretending he doesn’t exist, or you’ll be cutting through his armor with a few well-placed, very specific remarks.

You angle away from him, surveying Fanboy and Payback to your left. “All good, Hang.”

Guess it's flight.

Several bars and a few too many shots later, Coyote elbows Jake in the side. “What’s up with you tonight?”

“Just bored of beating y’all in darts,” Jake insists with a cocky grin he knows doesn’t reach his eyes. He just hopes no one notices.

Luckily for him, the only person that always sees straight through his bullshit smirks is you. And you’re at the bar, waiting patiently for the bartender, politely making conversation with some cheesy tourist.

A guy in an atrocious Hawaiian shirt (that he probably bought yesterday at the nearest ABC store, his internal monologue snidely adds) is clearly hitting on you and Jake forgot what it’s like to watch this. Because it’s been years since you were single, he forgot how it feels with sharks circling in the water around you, seeing you make small talk with strangers who have no reason to stop because you’re so goddamn kind and there’s no boyfriend for you to mention that will abruptly end their interest.

There’s a chance you actually want to talk to this chump, but Jake promptly tells that line of thought to kick rocks.

He kind of wants to throw himself into the ocean and drift away from this stupid vacation he should’ve never agreed to. Mrs. Lee will be fine watering his plants if he never comes back, right?

Because once upon a time, in a shitty bar in Lemoore, he’d save you so you wouldn’t have to turn anyone down and he’d tease you, that no one that’s seen you in the air, so quick and decisive and cunning, would ever believe you’d need a knight in shining armor to keep the creeps at bay. You’d tell him to shut up before dragging him out of there by his belt.

He shakes his head, trying to rid himself of the memory. As it stands, the ocean is probably his best bet.

“Pool?” You ask when you return with a fresh mojito, sans cheesy Hawaiian shirt, and everyone rolls their eyes.

“Miss the Hard Deck already, Vi?” Fanboy teases.

Even though the ice between you hasn’t completely thawed yet, Jake ignores him in favor of getting up, making his way toward the table in silent agreement. He figures it’ll give him something to do besides staring at the side of your head.

If his mid-game trash talk is a little pointed, a little too on the nose; well, that’ll stay between the two of you.

Jake tenses as he hears the back door of the bar swing open behind him, footsteps heavy and likely belonging to a number of people he doesn’t want to explain his sour mood to right now.

“Surprised you and Vi aren’t still going at it at the pool table, thought it was about to be a rematch of TOPGUN in there,” Rooster says.

“Couldn’t beat me then, can’t beat me now." He chuckles out of reflex more than anything, but it feels hollow and forced. "Sometimes I just like to rile her up, get her out of that shell she always wears on the ground.”

Rooster hums in agreement. “Better than the last time I saw you two together. You barely looked at each other then.”

During the Maverick mission, Jake hears lingering in the silence in the humid Hawaii air.

“Sure,” the blond says, willing to agree to anything that stops this train in its tracks.

“There a story there?” Rooster asks slowly, careful as ever.

“No,” he answers, but it’s rote, automatic. Even Bradshaw isn’t dense enough to miss the friction between you two, Jake knows that.

Rooster raises an eyebrow and Jake pointedly ignores him in favor of pulling a toothpick out of his pocket.

“How’s your girl, Bradshaw? Are you guys ever going to stop living in sin and tie the knot?”

He doesn’t comment on the abrupt change of subject, shrugging. “We’re happy. She’s pretty focused on her career right now. But when she’s ready.”

“I guess when you start fucking your roommate it’s nothing but sin from there on out, anyways, huh?”

The other man grins. “Jealous?’

Jake can’t help the way the corners of his mouth twitch upwards, an admission in its own right. Just not for what Rooster's implying. “Maybe.”

“Planning on coming after my girlfriend? Gotta tell you, Hangman, back in Virginia she was never very impressed by you.”

“She’s not my type. Any girl that’s into that atrocious caterpillar above your lip clearly has impaired vision.”

The other man brushes aside the dig easily. “That’s right. You only had eyes for Vi back then.”

Jake fights a full-body cringe, blaming the fact that he just walked straight into Rooster’s trap on the shots he took with Javy earlier. “What do you know? You hated me in Oceana.”

“Who says I don’t hate you now?”

“Touché.”

Rooster sighs, long-suffering like he can’t believe he’s the one that got saddled with the job of making sure Jake isn’t gonna lose it and ruin their vacation. “Seresin, you’re not the only one who notices things.”

Jake doesn’t need to dignify that with an answer. He’ll turn in his wings the day Rooster is more observant than him.

“Seems like forever ago, now, but I always thought she had a thing for you too.”

“I don’t know where you got that from, she was always arguing with me.”

Rooster waves it off. “Pulling your pigtails. Sound familiar?” He shoots him a knowing look that Jake pretends he doesn’t see, which unfortunately just gives mustache boy the idea he should continue.

“Yeah, sure,” Jake agrees, not without an air of sarcasm. Rooster may be right but it’s not like he’s going to genuinely admit that.

“D’you ever play Sudoku? My mom always loved it.”

Jake tries not to get whiplash, schooling his face into something neutral. He doesn’t know the ins and outs of Bradshaw’s childhood, but enough to know the other man’s putting a lot of faith in him by bringing his mom up at all.

“Did she?” he echoes, for lack of anything better to say.

Rooster nods, eyes far away, unfocused. “The thing about Sudoku is, you have to think about where you’re placing the numbers, so they don’t interfere with numbers in other boxes and lines.”

Jake barely bites back the word obviously, accompanied by a roll of his eyes.

“When we started dating, things weren’t always easy. We went from zero to sixty at the beginning, already living together.”

“But your mom loved sudoku,” Jake says, albeit dryly. “So, you knew to look at the puzzle as a whole.”

Rooster knocks their shoulders together in agreement, now you’re getting it.

“We had to slow down, take a look at what we were doing, where we were going, talk so that we didn’t fuck it up before it could even start.”

The blonde sighs. Leave it to Rooster to use some convoluted metaphor for Jake to parse out when his brain already feels like it’s been muddled alongside the mint in your mojitos.

“M’not the guy you should go to for relationship advice, normally.”

Jake snorts. “No shit.”

Rooster shoots him a bit of side-eye for that but nonetheless barrels on. “But I’ve known you and Vi a long time. For the better part of a decade.”

And isn’t that a thought, that Bradshaw of all people would be the one to know you and Jake better than anyone else?

“Is this your long-winded way of saying Vi and I need to slow down?”

He shrugs. “Maybe. Maybe not. Just gotta figure out the key. Whatever that looks like for you guys.”

Jake turns it over in his head a few times, pushing down his every instinct to blow this off, to make a joke that breaks the intensity that’s thicker than the Hawaii humidity.

“Patience,” he mutters, because of course it would be that for Bradshaw. “Trusting you’ll get there when you get there, not letting the pressure get to you guys.”

“Hm?”

“That’s your key.”

“Yeah,” Rooster nods, before taking a pull of his drink. “But maybe our puzzles are different.”

Jake scrunches his nose, so unused to metaphors and convoluted thinking. His head is still a jumbled mess, unpacking everything he’s learned in the last twelve hours.

“Sometimes you have to drop down and take the shot. Don’t pretend like that’s not in your wheelhouse, Seresin. You’ve always held back with her. Too scared she’s the only one that can keep up with you, maybe. That she's the only one you won’t shake off your tail.”

Rooster is frighteningly insightful tonight. Jake resolves to switch to whatever he’s drinking the moment he goes back inside.

“What would you have me do?” He asks, maybe a little more abrupt than Rooster deserves.

“Basic, normal, human communication would be a start.”

Jake flips him off.

“Not letting her go again, would be the next.”

It only takes Jake one Dark ‘n’ Stormy (of course, Rooster's drinking something that Jake feels like an idiot ordering) to build up the courage to follow you outside.

“You called it off.”

It’s not what he planned to say when he saw you sneaking out the back door of the bar. He was going to let you bring it up, maybe goad you into telling him what happened.

But he’s starting to realize his puzzle is less of a Sudoku and more of a jigsaw. He doesn’t know all the steps to complete the goal and won’t know until he’s in the middle of it. Each step comes up when it needs to, and he’ll have to figure it out then.

At least, he thinks that’s the point Bradshaw was trying to make. You two have to talk about something real, at some point, but patience hasn’t gotten him anywhere with you in the last six years.

You nod, staring into the distance, eyes focused on the water ahead.

“When?”

“Right before I deployed.”

Jake balks. He’s not sure what he expected your answer to be, but it wasn’t that. “And you didn’t think that was something you should tell me?”

You look down at your hands. Jake suddenly feels like an idiot, for not thinking anything of your bare ring finger. He should’ve known. He just assumed you’d become one of the many pilots that’s allergic to wedding rings.

“I wasn’t—I didn’t know what to say.”

There’s something working its way into the edges of his earshot, a timer dinging, the buzz of the right answer chiming. He laughs but there’s no humor in it. It’s only because otherwise, he’ll scream, as the puzzle pieces finally fit together.

“That was almost a year ago,” he mutters because he’s a glutton for punishment.

You continue staring at the water, still refusing to meet his gaze.

And he remembers, you’ve never been good at saying the hard things. As fierce as you are in the air, you temper your words on the ground, too wary to cut someone to the bone.

Shrinking violet, he thinks, wondering who was even well-read enough in your first squadron to know that reference.

He takes your silence for the answer that it is, nodding curtly and squeezing your wrist before turning to go back inside, a mirror of the last time his chest felt like candy glass, just waiting for the director to start the next take so it could have its turn to be shattered.

You finally turn to him, eyes glassy with tears. “Jake, I…”

He can’t wait for you to finish, doesn’t want to hear an excuse. Patience has never been his strong suit.

Jake shakes his head, biting his cheek to keep the tears at bay. You’ve never seen him cry and he’ll die before he lets that change on the back patio of this kitschy tiki bar. “Message received, Vi.”

Fucking Rooster. This is why he put this off for so long. It’s excruciating.

“No, Jake—that’s not what I—”

“Loud and clear, Violet.”

“I didn’t know if you’d feel the same way once I was single,” you say suddenly, and it stops him in his tracks. “You seem to forget you never said anything until I was supposed to marry someone else.”

“Then why?”

“Why what?”

Jake wants to pull his hair out. “Why did you call off the fucking wedding? Because it sure as shit wasn’t for me or you would’ve mentioned it sometime in the last ten months.”

“I was with him for two years, Jake. That doesn’t just go away. I didn’t want to tell you before I knew where my own head was at.”

“That’s not an answer.”

Silence.

He turns to leave again, knowing the panic is showing itself in his shaky hands and uneven voice. Desperately, he wishes he had a toothpick or a beer label, something to tear at so his expression could remain carefully blank, tone collected.

When you finally speak again, your voice is thick and heavy with emotion, muffled by unshed tears. “Because.”

Jake raises an eyebrow, not bothering to figure out what expression is playing itself out on his face.

You clear your throat. You play with the hem of your dress. You look anywhere except his eyes.

Fight or flight, he says silently. What’s it gonna be, Vi?

He hopes to God it’s fight.

“Because you don’t marry someone when you’re in love with someone else.”

It takes a few seconds for the meaning of your words to register. He feels like he’s underwater, slow and sluggish, when he finally asks, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Takes more than love to make a relationship work, Jake.”

It’s funny, how you choose the words Jake has repeated to himself in his weaker moments. When he wondered if loving you was enough, if it could overcome that you two are so much more similar than anyone would guess. You might have a reputation for mincing your words, but he’s the only one that takes that for what it is – a mask. He’s spent enough time underneath one to recognize it when he sees it. It’s your way of keeping people at bay, staying in control, not letting anyone climb those walls you’ve spent so long carefully building.

Someone would have to take their hands off the controls, even for a second. Neither of you knows what it’s like to rely on someone else. To not take the lead. To let someone else have your back.

“You have to be able to give me a chance sometime,” he counters, as gently as he can manage. “Let go of the reigns enough to let me try. Trust me to take the shot.”

“I’ve never been very good at that, especially with you,” you say, nodding and Jake’s chest is getting lighter by the second, that you've thought about this. “But I also knew it was going to take me time, to work through ending things with him. I couldn’t ask you to wait.”

“I did anyways.”

You raise your eyes to him at that. “You did?”

“I told you if I could stop loving you, I would have already.”

You exhale shakily, fingers twitching like you want to touch him, but just falling short in the air between you. “I didn’t – By now I thought you would’ve – fuck, Jake. I didn’t think you meant that. Thought you just needed time to get over me.”

He wants to laugh, feels it twitching at the corners of his mouth. “In less than a year? Have you met you?”

You grin at that, rich and bright and open like he hasn’t seen in far too long, and there’s something loosening in your defensive posture. “A lot of people would say ten months is a long time.”

Jake feels fuzzy, from his chest to his fingers as he reaches to pull you into him. You fold back against him, and he ducks his face into your hair, nudging around to get his lips on your jaw, letting his words get muffled by your skin. “Ten months is a blip on the radar.”

He feels you melt into him and finds the courage to lay the rest of it on the line.

“Doesn’t matter anyways because it hasn’t been ten months. It’s been six years. I was just waiting for you to catch up.”

“Sorry, I’m so slow. Hard to keep up with the infamous Hangman. I hear he flies like his ass depends on it.” The teasing is back in your tone, and it spreads warmth all over him.

You reach up to where his forearm rests on your collarbones, where he can’t bear to loosen his hold on you, his fingers twisting in the strap of your tank top.

The entire line of your back is touching him, his nose tucked into the crook of your neck smelling citrus and vanilla and home, but it’s still not enough, as far as Jake is concerned. Too many years spent apart, too many moments with you just out of reach have him itching for more.

“It’s okay,” he breathes against your neck. “As long as we get here in the end.”

“I trust you,” you whisper. “You know that right?”

He nods, fighting a shiver as your hand drifts across from his elbow to his hand. You run your thumb across his pulse point, fingers encircling his wrist. You squeeze, and he feels your promise.

This time he gets to start over with you.

"because you don't marry someone when you're in love with someone else" was stolen from michael westen in burn notice, episode 2.15 sins of omission (fantastic show!) although i changed the wording a little bit

thanks for reading!

814 notes · View notes

cookiesupplier · 5 months

Text

Hell Ain't So Bad - Part Fourteen (nsfw)

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie),

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut, angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence, swearing, cheating.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware.. gunna say this one is.. semi smutty. Just to be safe lol.

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747

Tags are open feel free to ask.

As the weeks went by, Ellie spent more and more time with the boys, and more time with Noah especially, tempting him, teasing him. It was delightful fun the more time they spent together, and she never pushed for more. They got to know each other, and she found herself wishing it could last, and knowing that it was going to hurt so bad that it couldn’t, but not caring at all that she knew it couldn’t. Not caring that she was putting time into something that was going to hurt. If Noah wasn’t pulling away, she wasn’t either.

He didn’t push for more either, they were having so much fun, and that was all it seemed to be, fun. Neither of them had crossed so far as to talk about what they were, and maybe they should, but really, when it came to Noah, she was almost scared if she asked what they were.. It would destroy everything. That if she asked what they were, it would have to stop. That putting a name to what was happening between them, would be admitting to the fact that they couldn’t work, not really.

Even last night, Noah had spent the night at her apartment and they’d just enjoyed the night, as casually together as always. She enjoyed the moment as she’d been wrapped up in him, as he pounded into her, his cock so long and a thick inside of her, and fuck. If she’d though him fucking her face had been a thrill, Noah fucking her was something else entirely. Feeling his cock deep inside of her body, letting him cum inside of her, she let the thrill of those moments wash over her. The grip of his hands on her hips as he held her so tight as he filled her had her whimpering with pure pleasure.

Ellie had turned all kinds of red when she’d gone to the pharmacy the night after the first time they’d slept together, asking whether Plan B was any different for, well, human and demon relations… The demon behind the counter had been extremely kind with her when he explained that they would work just the same and handed over the supply of medication. She probably should learn to make Noah use a condom when they hooked up, but the intensity between them made the rush so hard to pull back on.

Today though when she had gone into work, the day was turning out to be rather strange. Strange and intense in the sense that she was glad she had her fucking baseball bat now, and it was one of those days that it was the most useful tool, especially considering the asshole that she’d just watched Nicholas and Jolly drag to the exit door after she knocked him out for the count. Ellie, setting her bat aside against one of the desks, moved to kneel down to help Folio up from the floor. She’d reacted with the bat in the first place to the guy attacking Folio, yes, it was one of those days. This had to be the third volatile soul they’d had this morning.

As Nicholas and Jolly returned from sending the soul off, she sighed as she looked to Nicholas, holding an ice pack to Folio’s head.

“It’s a good thing you came by to help, I was surprised when you said you’d thought it would be an intense day today, I didn’t realize that you could predict it would be like this, then again, it Hell, I used to think every day would be like this.”

Nicholas smiled slightly.

“Usually we can’t predict anything at all, but something about today told me I should be here just the same.”

Huh, that was curious, but she supposed he probably got the files of the people that were coming through their particular office, where they were going, what punishment dimensions they were going to and so forth. Made her wonder how many of these souls would be going to one of the dimensions that Noah oversaw. If any of them would be people that he would be handling directly.

Once she had finished helping Folio, and Nicholas and Jolly came back, Nick ended up sending Folio home early, considering he’d taken quite the hit with that last soul. Just as he was leaving though, the doorway from the soul entry opened, and the next soul came through, they weren’t getting any rest today. Ellie hadn’t even gotten a moment to check the files to see who was next on the rank to come though, not that it mattered, the moment she saw her face she knew exactly who it was.

Carla.

Ellie’s best friend. They’d met in middle school and had been practically inseparable all the way through to high school, and even college, until everything of course had fallen apart. It was safe to say, that she hadn’t seen or spoken to her since her life had fallen apart and she ended up living on the street.

“Carla?”

Seeing her, she looked around,

“Ellie?”

Swallowing, seeing her friend walk into the room, she, she was dead?

“I, how?”

Approaching her slowly, Carla looked just as she always had, so beautiful, so young, just like the last time she saw her years ago, oh, and she, she was dead, how could she be dead, how could she already be dead.. How could she have died this young, why would she.. It made her think of Folio, and Jolly, and now..

“It was a shooter, at the mall, and it was just..”

And then she just burst into tears, grabbing at Ellie pulling her into a hug, squeezing her tight, and Ellie wrapped her arms tight around her, feeling in absolute shock at this news, not sure what to think about any of this. Slowly she patted the other girls back, swallowing, the fact she was here, meant they had to sort out where she was going and send her on her way, glancing over to Jolly who was looking up her file and figuring out where she needing to go, good, they could send her on.

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

Nicholas sat down next to her, the office finally quiet, if Ellie had the mentality she’d wonder if the other souls causing so much trouble this morning was just a coincidence, and that he had come because he knew that Carla was going to be coming through and he thought it would affect her. It had.

“No, no I’m not, I, I don’t think there is anything that could help. I mean, I’m upset she’s dead, no one should die that young, no one. Not Folio, not Jolly.. But Carla, she was a fucking cunt. I know she’s going to a punishment dimension.. And I don’t know if its a light punishment like Folio’s was, his mention of what he did was at least an accident.. What I know of what she did.. At least what she did to me..”

Sighing, Nicholas glanced towards her, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know but the fact that Ellie went so far as to call that girl, her best friend, a cunt.. No, he was sure he didn’t want to know, but at the same time, he had a feeling he needed to, so he had a fair warning. Maybe, a warning for Noah. He had a feeling he was going to need it.

“And what, exactly, did she do?”

So this was going to be a bit of a story, she’d never actually told the story, truthfully, she’d actually avoided it if she was honest. Not only did she avoid talking about it, but thinking about it completely.

“Okay, so, the last time I saw her was before I dropped out of college. A bit before actually.. It was after I came back to the apartment I was living in with her, and my then boyfriend, whom at the time I’d been dating since high school, we started dating senior year, so we’d been dating almost two years by that point. This was about six months before I had to drop out because I couldn’t afford school.”

Nodding, swallowing, she was trying not to get worked up, she was trying not to think about what came next in this little tale,

“I came home to find them together, fucking. The most hilarious part right?”

Looking over to Nicholas, raising an eyebrow, as if any of this story could really be funny, but to her, it sort of was hilarious, in the way that she hadn’t picked up her bat the moment Carla had come through the door.

“It was that they weren’t even fucking in her bed. No, it was mine, they were in the bed that I shared with my ex-boyfriend. Turns out, she had been fucking him almost the entire time we were dating.”

Nicholas shook his head,

“That is absolutely fucked up.”

“Gets better, after catching them red handed, or dick in cunt it as were, of course I confronted them, and he basically called me a frigid bitch. Blaming me for never wanting to have sex enough, and needing to look for it elsewhere, and that Carla was kind enough to help him out. So, according to him, I caused my ex-boyfriend’s dick, to fall into my former best friend's cunt, again, and again, and again. Fun, huh?”

Nicholas reached for her hand, squeezing lightly.

“Well, I’m glad you’re here with us now. They didn’t deserve you. Besides, we have so much more fun.”

Smiling to him, she had to agree. Now that she said it aloud, but, Noah was also so much better in bed.

Nicholas had warned him there might be something that Ellie might need comfort over today, that a friend of hers would be coming through the office entrance and being sent to a punishment dimension. He hadn’t been given any more details than that, otherwise he might have checked the files to try and find out more details about the friend that was coming through. How did they die? Why were they being punished? How were they connected to Ellie? Everything, he wanted to know everything so he could support her better.

Considering he didn’t have the information, he came here at the end of her shift to see how she was holding up to hear the end of her conversation with Nicholas, waiting outside of the staff exit, and stood, tense as a statue.

This best friend, this ex-boyfriend, now have both made his personal torture list.

The best friend was already in Hell so she was going to be easy to get a hold of, he would collect her the moment he left here, but when that former boyfriend made his way down here, he was going to regret every single action, and word he’d ever said to his darling Ellie.

This arrogant asshole was not going to like his punishment once he made it to the Afterlife. He’d have to have been beyond a fucking saint to anything but punishment from him. Even then, Noah was sure he could deal with some of the deities about, they owed him a few favours, that fucker, was going to have his head, on his chopping block.

The door opened from the office as Jolly stepped outside of the office and Nosh turned to look over to him, and Jolly took one look at him, seeing nothing of the human in Noah standing there. Noah’s demonic face had completely taken him in his anger. The fire of his eyes, the colour of his horns and face was stark with the splashes of blood red against the bone white of his demonic skin.

A low growl came from Noah thinking about what was being said inside. The man that stood before Jolly was every bit the demon lord that scared mortal souls shitless in the punishment dimensions, sometimes, without even having to torture them.

“Shit.”

Yea, shit. Noah was fucking pissed.

Dividers: @saradika-graphics (stained glass) & @cafekitsune (MDNI)

48 notes · View notes

finniestoncrane · 6 days

Note

hiya finnie! congrats on 2k! the good ol' autism has locked onto rdr for me so if there's still slots i'd like to purchase front row romcom tickets for me and arthur morgan with some fruit juice and a rainbow cookie. (gn/male reader preferably i ain't a woman lol) have a nice day!!!!

thank you friend!! i'm always in the mood to write for arthur, and i think this is the first ever request i've gotten for him outside of a commission a while ago, so i am EXCITED!! 💚🩷 cw: fluff, first kiss, when you're a handsome cowboy and you realise your limited interest in women isn't completely down to past traumas and might have something to do with your desire for cock 🔞minors dni🔞 send a request • masterlist • kofi link • tag: finnie2k (to follow or to block)

Arthur was usually the type to slap his male friends on the back, one solid, brief show of pride or happiness. But you were one for embracing. A long, meaningful gesture that lasted long enough that the meaning behind it could be understood and felt.

It had never occurred to you that his long tradition of avoiding any physical contact beyond a swift pat might have made Arthur a little touch-starved, wanting for more. And despite the fact that his entire body tensed up in your embrace, mostly out of surprise, partly out of his uncertainty about what to do next.

"When do we stop... touching each other?"

You moved back, laughing at him as you sat down by the quickly assembled campfire. He'd been out in the wild too long. He was rough, grizzly, a man's man.

"It's the same as with a woman. You never held a girl in your arms?"

Arthur sat down beside you, sipping at his flask as he considered what you were asking.

"Course, but that's different, ain't it? Besides, I'm not all that familiar with the fairer sex. One or two have tolerated me, but I don't understand them. I can't connect to that. I just... I do what I think is done, and what I think is right."

"But..."

"Not always what I want."

Looking at the side of his face, you watched Arthur grimace into the fire. It might be pushing him too far, but you knew you'd feel worse if you didn't ask.

"And what do you want?"

In the long silence, you decided to turn your gaze from him, knowing that your stare might be putting undue pressure onto Arthur's conscience. But once your cheek was presented to him, he leaned over to you, a clumsy kiss placed against your skin.

And then he had turned again to the fire, cheeks red, but not visible in the light of the flames. You sighed, placing a hand on top of his.

"You might need some practice there, but it's a lot easier to do when you're doing what you want."

#finnie2k #finnie writes #x reader #arthur morgan #rdr2 #red dead redemption 2

21 notes · View notes

snowblossomreads · 5 months

Text

Day 24: Christmas Party

Pairing: Detective David Friedman x Fem!Reader

Summary: David and [Y/n] make another trip to the evidence room to avoid the precinct's Christmas party and to have a party of their own.

Tag(s)/Warning(s): Office Sex, Daddy Kink, One Spank lol, Age Gap, Teasing, Penetrative Sex, Getting Caught, (again don't have sex in the evidence room at the police station)

Word Count: 3.1K

A/N: We end Rickmas how we started it! With Detective Friedman getting into some smutty shenanigans but this time with his partner in crime 🤣🤣 Enjoy this smutty finale!

Another year, another shitty Christmas party with headache-inducing music and cheap food that he had to suffer through at the behest of the precinct's captain.

David swore the only reason he was able to get through them in years past was because of the alcohol he would knock back before he entered the building.

But as a sober man, he now had to endure it with a clear head which of course didn't lift his mood, nor did it make it any better when he spotted Monica, his ex-wife strolling in with Matty Grimes.

"Jesus Christ," he hissed under his breath as he turned around, not in the mood to make eye contact or chat with them.

While he didn't particularly dislike her, even though she married his coworker, which still left a bad taste in his mouth, they did still have their little girl together. And because of that, he be damned if he didn't try to make sure that they at least had a civil relationship.

But Matty Grimes, that piece of shit could go fuck himself.

Knocking back the rest of his sparkling non-alcoholic grape juice and sulking, he went looking for the other person he knew would be happy to commiserate with him.

It didn't take him long to find [Y/n], who was wearing a festive reindeer headband sitting at her desk on the other side of the building. The music was a lot less intrusive in this area, but it still could be heard along with some muffled chatter. Better than nothing though.

"Comin' over here to tell me how much fun you're havin' at the party?" [Y/n] asked while paging absentmindedly through a thick folder of case reports as he slid a chair close to her desk.

She knew full well he was having the worst time of his life, considering how much shit-talking and complaining he had done the entire time on the way to the place. Not that she blamed him though, she wasn't very keen on them either and had decided to busy herself with paperwork that needed to be filed. It was a good excuse to avoid people you didn't want to talk to.

"About as much fun as you're havin' sortin' out all them files you got there," he snarked, laying his chin on his hands that were folded on top of the desk. "Shouldn't you also be out there mingling with the folks, smoochinzin? I know you youngins like that stuff."

Putting the folder down, and turning her chair to face him, [Y/n] raised an eyebrow as a smirk tugged at her lips.

"David Friedman you know I ain't about to play kiss ass with folks. Plus," she simpered, her eyes narrowing playfully at him. "I'm not too keen on getting hit on by one of them drunk deputies who like to play grab ass with any woman they see."

This caught David's attention and seemed to rile him up a little as he sat straight up in the chair, his arms crossing against his chest and a frown growing on his thin lips.

"And which one of them boys are you talkin' about?" He growled, his eyes glinting dangerously at the mere thought of some little boy playing cop and talking to [Y/n] in any other way than professional.

That deep rumble of his, and the way he stared at her like a predator eyeing his prey had a shock of thrill running down her spine and down to her stomach that tingled at the gaze. He only looked at her that way when he was getting ready to be balls deep in her, and by the possessiveness in his tone, they were probably in for a party of their own if she played it right.

"Oh you know, the regular ones," she said, shrugging her shoulder nonchalantly as if she hadn't just admitted that she had been getting hit on by their coworkers.

It shouldn't have been surprising considering how she was one of the few female detectives in a profession mostly dominated by males. And plus, she was good as shit at her job and cute so why shouldn't they be hitting on her even if she only had eyes for the man leering at her.

"There's more than one?" He huffed, quickly getting up to his feet, the rolling chair he had been sitting on getting pushed down the aisle as he eyed [Y/n].

"Well yeah, since no one knows that you and me are a thing, a few of them stay tryin' to shoot their shot. I let 'em down gently and all, but it sure is hard keepin' away. I mean I am a cutie pie, aren't I?

"Mhmm, you sure are, and taste just as sweet as pie doll," David purred lowly, his voice causing her to bite the inside of her mouth to muffle any noise as he went to stand in front of her. "But I guess we gonna have to fix all that flirtin' they be throwin' you're away aren't we?"

"Yes, sir we are," [Y/n] grinned, standing up from her desk. "Any ideas, Detective?" His title fell from her lips in a sweet honeyed purr while her fingers went to play with his loosened tie.

Leaning down, David brushed his lips against hers, catching her breath as her eyes darted around to make sure no one saw them this close together.

"Oh, I got a few up my sleeves doll," he answered before he was devouring hers in a hungry kiss and sending a thrill of pleasure down her spine and in between her thighs.

An eager and throaty moan slipped out of her as he slid his tongue into her mouth, muffling any noise from her as he swirled the slick muscle around her own. His hands grabbed at her waist, pulling her close as her own hand found itself buried in his hair as she kissed him back with as much fervor as she could muster. A blaze of desire grew in her belly and rushed down to her pussy that began to throb while David felt his cock twitch in his pants as they made out in basically plain sight.

Pulling away breathlessly and panting from the lust inducing kiss they both shared, they both eyed each other with hungry looks. Looks that conveyed the same message.

The evidence room.

Throwing her little headband onto the desk which messed some of the paper up, they said nothing to each other as they scanned the room making sure the coast was clear of lurking coworker.

Once they were sure they were in the clear, they quickly made their way down the hallway and down some stairs to the locked evidence room that had seen its fair share of action when it came between the two.

Wholly illegal yes, but hey, when you were in need of a quickie, it was a discreet place considering only a few people had access to it. Themselves included being evidence custodians and all that. Plus, the department had other, more corrupt things that needed to be investigated, and them fucking in the evidence room was way at the bottom of the list of things if they had to say so.

Unlocking the door and ushering them in, [Y/n] closed the door in a hurry before she felt David press her flush against the door, her back against his chest and his erection rubbing against her.

"Mm fuck daddy yes," [Y/n] groaned as he attacked her exposed neck, nibbling and sucking at the tender skin with the intent to leave as many bruises on her to get his point across.

His hands roamed greedily all over her front, dipping underneath the blouse she was wearing and causing her to shiver as his hands ghosted over her belly. Trailing his hands up her front while his lips continued to leave marks on her neck, David shoved his hands underneath her bra and grabbed her breast roughly causing her to squeak as he began the handle her tits roughly. Squeezing and pulling her nipples that stood to attention as he played with them.

"Dave!" She squealed breathlessly as a strong tingling sensation shot through her chest and down to her pussy as he continued to pull at the sensitive nubs.

There was an edge of pain with his touch, yet, the pleasure that bloomed through her when he would massage the buds to soothe the ache he caused had her throwing her head back against his shoulder as he continued his ministrations.

"That's right," he grunted lowly in her ears, causing the fire in her belly to strengthen as he stroked her breast and ground his hips against her causing more wetness to pool in her panties. "Gonna show them boys you don't need them. Already got your hands full with me don't you?" He asked, pressing his hips against her behind once more for emphasis.

"And vice versa," she giggled considering that he did currently have a hand full of her. This caused him to chuckle as he squeezed her once more causing her giggle to morph into a soft groan. "And I'm sure none of them can make me scream like you do~."

She couldn't see it, but her words caused a little cocky smirk to grow on David's lips and it made his erection more prominent, something that she could feel and let out a tiny whimper about.

"Ain't that right, I guess we should go 'head and test that out shouldn't we?" He smirked as he slid his hands from underneath her shirt, only to go and tug at her skirt and underwear that came down with ease.

The fabrics pooled on the floor, and [Y/n] stepped out of them and pushed them aside with her foot. She then planted her hands on the back of the door and bent at her waist, allowing David all the access he needed to her.

"Mhm, no complaints from me you know that," she chirped, looking behind and giving him a wink. "Plus we have a Christmas party to get back to. Don't want folks getting suspicious and looking for us!"

Rolling his eyes, David hastily unzipped himself and groaned at the feeling of his cock being free from its confines.

"We sure don't," he hissed as he gripped himself tightly, tugging at the hot flesh that was already leaking with his desire. "Then guess you won't mind if we skipped foreplay?" He asked, already lining himself up with her opening that glistened with her juices.

"Not at all," she purred, wiggling her behind at him and moaning when he gave her a tiny spank. "You can stretch me open with your cock, daddy. You know I can take it."

"Sure do," he growled, leaning over and pressing the tip of him at her opening before slowly sliding into her. "Slutty pussy, fuck, like yours was meant to take dick right?"

"Mmhmm yeah~" [Y/n] gasped breathlessly at the burn that tore through her as he speared her open with his thick cock that felt never ending as he slid into her.

The feel of him pushing himself passed that tight ring of resistance inside her had her whimpering and balling her fist as she stretched to accommodate him.

Soft pants, and expletives filled the room as he pushed inside of her, sliding into her inch by inch until finally he had hilted himself all the way in her with a loud groan. Legs trembling, [Y/n] let out a whimper as her insides clenched tightly around him as he made himself home inside her. They stayed still like that for a moment, allowing her to adjust to his size as David leaned over her body and planted his lips against her neck.

Tiny mewls escaped her as he began to grind his hips against hers, causing his cock to rub her sensitive channel. It didn't take long before he was grabbing her arms, making her wrist cross in an 'x' behind her as he began to move in earnest.

"Fuck," he huffed breathlessly, hips smacking against hers at a harsh yet steady pace. Each thrust had her dripping at the pleasure that would explode in her belly when he would pull out halfway, only to slam back into her causing her to yelp before moaning.

It was impossible to stay quiet as he held her hands prisoner while whispering and grunting lines of filth into her ears and punishing her sensitive insides with each thrust.

"Pussy so tight for me, ugh, bet none of those boys out there, mmm, could make you feel this good."

"Mhmm made just for me doll, fuck this pussy takes me so well."

Every word he whispered and every thrust delivered had her insides clenching and little cries escaping her as he began to increase the pace. Yet, even with all the noise, she couldn't help but notice that there seemed to be some commotion going on the other side of the door.

The thought of someone overhearing them, and catching them while mortifying, did send a wave of pleasure that jolted her insides and caused both of them to let out a strangled moan as her insides gripped his cock with a vice grip.

D-Dave," she stuttered, struggling to form a coherent thought as her cunt began to spasm at the thought of being caught. The sound of their actives grew louder and louder as her juices began to steadily trickle out of her.

"Someone's, fuck, someone's outside," she gasped, trying to keep her voice down but failing as the heat in her belly grew hotter and hotter. Her legs trembled once again as wave after wave of pleasure was dumped over her each time he would bury himself back in her.

"Then you better learn to be quiet doll," he hissed, not at all slowing his pace. Instead, he seemed to speed up causing her to squeak and moan at the growing pressure building in her abdomen signaling her release was building. "Unless you want someone walkin' in and seein' this tight little pussy coming all over my cock.'

"Mm, thought you didn't like audiences?" She questioned cheekily before letting out a nosy cry as he slammed his hips against hers hitting that spot in her that had her seeing stars.

A smirk found its way on his lips as he began to thrust harder and faster, causing her jaw to go slack, and her eyes to flutter close as her body flew higher and higher towards that delicious end she had been chasing.

"I don't," he whispered near her ear causing her to shudder. "But guess I'll have to make an exception so folks know you don't need anyone else taking care of this hungry pussy."

And if anyone was outside, boy they did indeed get an earful as David held her wrists with one hand while the other found itself right where both of them were joined. Skillful digits stroked and pressed at [Y/n]'s sensitive bead causing her to shout in surprise as red hot pleasure jolted her nerves.

His rough thrusts, and his fingers pinching and toying with her, had her exploding in mere moments with a noisy call of his name. It didn't take long after her release before he was filling her to the brim with his warm seed that caused her insides to spasm again at the force of the action.

They were left panting and groaning as he pushed his cum deeper inside her with a few more lazy thrusts causing her to whine at how sensitive she was. Staying like this for a few moments until both of their bodies seemed to protest at the awkward position, David let [Y/n]'s wrist go before pulling out of her slowly.

The movements caused them both to hiss as he dragged himself out with a wet pop. Standing up and quickly going for her discarded underwear, [Y/n] dragged the articles of clothing back on and winced at the sticky wet feeling of his cum dripping onto the fabric.

Goddamnit! How many times was she going to have to use the precinct's shower because they couldn't keep their hands to themselves? It wasn't the worst problem to have, but it was annoying. Her little complaint was caught off at the feel of arms wrapping around her waist as a kiss was planted on top of her head.

"I say that was much more excitin' than whatever they got goin' on at that party," David yawned, already feeling drowsy which wasn't great considering they would be there for a few more hours.

Nodding in agreement, she leaned against his chest taking in some of the post coital bliss, or rather as much as she could considering.

"Yeah but I bet someone's probably lookin for us," she sighed, still wary about the noise in the hallway. Though it was much quieter now so maybe whoever it was left and didn't actually hear anything?

Hopefully…

Letting out a loud sigh, David let [Y/n] go, running his hand through his hair to make sure it was his usual amount of disheveled and not the 'I just fucked someone' disheveled.

"Guess we should be headin' back 'fore people get to putting out missing flyers."

An amused noise left [Y/n] as she nodded and approached the door with him behind her. Swinging the door wide open, her heart immediately dropped into her stomach and she could hear David make an incoherent noise of surprise. Both of them were frozen in their tracks as they came eye to eye with Matty and Monica who also were stunned.

The silence between them lasted for what felt like hours even if it was literally only seconds. Yet, it didn't make the urge to sink into the floor and disappear any less obvious to [Y/n] who could only think about how they were all getting fired.

Yet, maybe it was thanks to Father Christmas that everyone seemed to acknowledge how comically weird this was. No words were spoken as the married couple stepped back to let the current occupants of the evidence room leave.

There was a nod of acknowledgement between everyone before [Y/n] and Dave were hightailing out of that hallway and back to the stairwell.

Halfway up though, they had to pause because of the laughter neither of them could hold in as they replayed over and over how absurd it was. This party was definitely going to be memorable for both of them for years to come.

A/N: And that's it folks!!!! I'm so happy with all the things I was able to write this year for Rickmas! 14/24 isn't bad and even better than last year! Maybe in 2024 I'll write for all of them? We shall see. 💖💖💖 Thanks to everyone who have been reading and enjoying these little stories it's been so fun reading comments and writing! Thank you @deepperplexity for hosting this wonderful event and powering through the prompts even though you're busy!!!! It's been a great time!! Now Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone !! 🎄🎄🎄

#david friedman #david friedman x reader #rickmas #rickmas2023 #smut #blossom writes

32 notes · View notes

burgycreeper405-blog · 1 year

Text

hello there

welcome to the pinned post

here we have the list of everything you wantes to know about the me myself and i

Commissions: open (dm me if interested)

here is my commissions sheet if you're interested in commissioning me

Art Trades: closed

Art Request: open 4 now

tho the rules are:

the art requests are mostly just gonna be in sketches, if you want fully detailed art, you can commission me if you want/nf

if you want a request, please state that you want a art request,, bcuz if not,, look I'm dumb okay? just be more specific please

no ocs (sorry)

aus are fine (tho pls send a reference 👍)

only the franchise im interested in (the list is down the below)

any ship in any franchise I'm in is fine as long as it's not the ones listed there in the dni list

there might be more to be added in the future but yeah 👍

down the below also has the everythin you need or just want to know so you better check it 👍

but before you do

this is for my and yours' comfort if you somehow have one or two or all of these

DNI If you:

- ship tac0m1c

- ship s0apm1c (on thin ice) ((you shippers can interact, but if you push your ship in my face, the ice will shatter))

- ship kn1fan (on thin ice) ((same goes here))

- hc knife and mic as siblings

- hc baseball and suitcase as father-daughter???? / infantalize suitcase

the basic DNI stuffs; Racist, being mean to people and tells them to "kys" or other mean things, etc. etc.

aight, now that you's done reading the dni list, time for the other chet

it's kinda simple and also kinda messy so bare with me here

you can call me Burgy and i is girl, but any pronouns is fine

my other socials are:

Instagram (@/burgycreeper405)

Youtube (@/burgycreeper405)

and no i don't have twitter, i used to, but no, twitter is like my toxic ex, so if you see me "post" on twitter, that's not me, that's probably a person acting as me but failed miserably

i have a dicsord server if you wanna join

the app i use to draw is Medibang Paint / Manga (the site lol) / Ibispaint on the ipad

to animate, i use Flipaclip on my phone

I am not in any fandoms cuz i am very ✨random✨

but draws one topic for a long while, but as time goes on, i go back to drawing random chet that i like and not just one thing

here are the lists of what I'm interested in (aka the things that I'll draw from most to least maybe)

• Inanimate Insanity (II)

• The Daily Object Show (TDOS)

• Trolls

• The Lego Movie

• Super Mario

• Undertale

• Cuphead

• Batim

i have more stuffs that i like but those 8 are the main, and I don't even really draw the other ones that much, but i like em, but i ain't telling em,, so yeah :P

i have a fun little ask blog for my AUs and stuff (tho it's just Lego movie aus) so if you're interested, it's this

@ask-burgys-tlm-aus

now that the simple stuff is done,,

it's time for the '🍩'(do not)s and other infos

• do not repost or reupload my stuff like put it in compilations and stuff, even if you credit me, do not repost/reupload my chet

• do not trace my art

• if i seem rude, that means i’m in a bad mood

• you can use my art as pfp or banners, just do not reupload/repost and or trace my stuffs

• if you dm-ed me/private message me, i won't answer it, especially if we're not even that close (unless it's for commissions then i will answer that lol) cuz either I'm awkward at starting conversations, or i just don't want to dm back, it's one of the two but it's mostly the former

• if you have questions, ask it in the ask box, it's there for a reason

• if you want to do fanart, then go ahead, no need to ask, just tag me, id love to see it

• keep in mind, i mostly have headcanons that are not the same as the popular ones cuz, not everyone will have the same hcs, shocker i know

• i don't do with popular chet so keep that in mind

• i hate shipping discourse cuz i find that stupid and a waste of time, especially when the ship they're fighting is not even that problematic as they say they are, so get that away from me cuz i don't want to deal with it

• i don't mind any ships (besides the ones on the red down below), I'm neutral with mostly any ships (again, besides the ones on the red down below), unless it's actually problematic like those age gaps and other chet? then that's a big no no for me, get that thing out of here, i don't want it

let's cut to the chase, yes, I'm fine with:

Rexmet (Rex x Emmet)

Rexmetstyle (Rex x Emmet x Lucy)

and i also ship

Microknife (Mic x Knife)

Knicropick (Knife x Mic x Pickle)

Metallic Salad (Mephone4 x Knife x Mic x Pickle)

if those info shocked you, then that's funny lol

if you suddenly hate me bcuz of that, then that's honestly a funny and stupid reason to hate me lol

tags that i use:

#burgy talks - just talking and or rambling about stuffs

#burg art - for art

#burgy comics - for the comics that i did cuz why not

#burgy games - for me gaming

#burgy sh1tpost - yes, it's a 1, not a misstype,, anyways, thats for jokes stuffs so i wont flood the burgy talks or art tag that much

me personas (i don't have a good ref sheet for them three)

me but object

sun micro4 content

aight, i think thas all, some of these may or may not change in the future

but yeah, thas all, thanks for reading

#burgy talks #burg art #burgy comics #burgy games #burgy sh1tpost

85 notes · View notes

bengiyo · 2 months

Text

23.5 Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, Ton revealed that he 'dated: Ongsa for three days. This news made her unpopular with other girls who were jealous. However, Ongsa opted to become class treasurer to be closer to Sun. While trying to collect a fee for the class, Ongsa came into conflict with a basketball player who professed jealousy about Ton. Ongsa accepted a basketball challenge, and received some coaching from Sun, leading to one of two pratfalls. Ongsa lost the match, but won respect, and a very gay compliment from Sun.

Meanwhile, Ton wanted to sneak into the school at night to investigate a green light. Aylin wanted to check it out because she thought there might be an alien. Luna brought her along to check it out. Tinh wanted to check it out, so Mawin hopped aboard to hang out with his crush. Ongsa figured out what was going on, so Alpha needed to go chastise everyone, leading to Sun driving them. Many hijinks ensued, but we got to see Mawin be brave and Ongsa and Sun hug in a closet.

Right. We left at Aylin noticing that Ongsa likes Sun with Chaoren overhearing.

Damn, she called Tinh immediately AND shaded him.

I am loving this scene. Ongsa gets reassurance that liking girls isn't weird, we learn that Tinh likes men, Chaoren likes everyone, and Aylin likes no one.

Ope, and there we go with the astrology. Not a fan.

Episode 4: The Fortuneteller of the Stars

I continue to love Euro's comedic timing. Let me fall into another aside about how he can still win.

I'm struggling with the astrology bit this episode. I don't often enjoy how people use this to sort others.

Welcome back, The Heart Knows.

Girls, y'all can turn these notification sounds off at any time.

I actually support the assignments for the day. Aylin and Ongsa don't seem suited to advertising the event and managing participants, but could probably handle the individual interactions during the readings.

Thank you, Aylin, for pointing out how often people in dramas put out way too much food.

LOL did they even practice? Or did they just dress them up?

Ongsa is in need of a verse, it seems.

Sun, you ain't forget to buckle that helmet. I see you, miss.

Okay, Aylin, go off!

Would you look at that. People really liked them. And yet...where are my fun astronomy facts??

These two are about to end up on my #they are literally always flirting tag.

Don't let me down with these roses, Ongsa.

Not a cliffhanger! She's gonna let me down.

Oh good we're dealing with this dual identity next week.

This episode was a little quiet, but I'm glad we got to see Aylin and Ongsa further friendships with people.

#Ben watches #23.5 the series #23.5 degrees #thai gl #gl series

18 notes · View notes

antisocialgaycat · 9 months

Text

an intro cos i havent done one yet lols

hello fun funky fresh and fabulous people, i am elle or elliot and i use they/them pronouns. i am part of many fandoms but the only one ill really be posting abt is newsies because its been replacing my each and every one of my braincells with hc ideas since i first watched it. be warned: i am very much a theatre kid.

I guarantee

Though I crapped out, I ain't tapped out!

i also speak/am learning a hell load of languages so lets look at them shall we

english: which i am legally fluent in and i speak it pretty good but ask me abt the weather and i will not respond (cos i cant lol)

fronch: learning it through my school, its kind of slay but at the same time it also very much not (maybe cos of the teacher lol) fun fact about french sports: if it has balls, its masculine (i sincerely apologise but its true)

yiddish: my first language :) this is the language that my auntie taught me when i was young, i then forgot most but got in touch with my aunt again and regained fluency. she is dead now but i will make an effort to keep speaking it as much as possible

indonesian: i can speak the basics cos i did it with my ps and ive been to indonesia a couple of times

german: i know a bit cos yiddish is similar and i know some conversational basics and shit

one of the indigenous australian languages: i can say an acknowledgement to country in my local indigenous language but i wont say which it is cos then people could figure out where i live and thats not the vibes

italian, spanish, polish, portugese, hebrew, russian, german, auslan: i can swear in all of these languages plus the ones above minus yiddish cos my fam dont swear and i dont trust google translate (i also know at least one insult all the languages on duolingo minus high valkyrian or however its spelt)

so yuh. languages.

other things abt me that idk where to put so im making a list:

i am irl friends with @just-sarah-xx and @quackethh (i tag them as #bestieboowifeyforlifey or #shawty bae <3<3<3 and #bitch (un)affectionate respectively) and also @boywithabeanie and @elemelom and @justalittleegg and others but i cannot be bothered tagging them right now (sorry)

australia is better than new zealand and clarinets are better than flutes

i do way too much performing arts for it to be considered healthy

i play/played cricket, netball, soccer and ice hockey (thats a joke ice hockey is actual so bad normal hockey is so much better and i will die by that)

i am a demiromantic asexual non-binary lesbian (thats a lot of words woah) and i get the most hopeless crushes on people its not even funny (unless ur my friends then its fucking hilarious) (looking at u sarah)

i will tag any original post with #just a load of garbage so if u dont want to see all my thoughts then js block the tag lols

so yuh

thats my intro

#just a load of garbage #intro post #yes i edited this fight me abt it

37 notes · View notes

cosmic-kaden · 5 months

Text

Pinned Post

Hey there welcome to my self-ship blog! Here I will spread the love and admiration for my f/o. At the current time, I am very uncomfortable with sharing my f/o. Please just block me if we share. ╥⁠﹏⁠╥

I would prefer it if minors dni as I'm an older adult.

Everything on my blog is okay to reblog, reply, and like unless stated otherwise! (rbs will be disabled if I don't want something rb'd.)

Not a fan of general/fandom blogs following me so please dni if you're not a self-shipper- I have anxiety lol

if you self-ship and ship with ANY of my f/o/crushes DNI! I don't like to share ;; I'll just block.

Disclaimer: Since people can't read carrds I'll put it here too: Please do not refer to my f/o with pet names or terms of endearment of any kind, it's incredibly uncomfortable and it will cause me to really distance myself from you. I've had people in the past claim they liked my f/o platonically and then turn around and self ship with them romantically. Even going as far as sending me their platonic fic with my f/o in it for it only to be romantic. It's happened more than once with different people so now I have this boundary in place. Please respect it.

I am not rpf!

Yes, all of my f/o are portrayed by the same actor but I do not ship myself with the actual actor himself because that's weird and uncomfortable as hell. I ain't like that nor will I ever cross that line. Do I think he's handsome? Duh! Do I think he's an amazing actor? Absolutely, but that's as far as it goes in regards to AD himself. I'm not into that parasocial relationship bullshit.

{Basics}

My name is Kaden

I'm Canadian

Nyctophile/Selenophile/Astrophile

Astraphobic

They/Them Pronouns please! (She/Her if we are extremely close)

Favourite colours are Purple, Orange, and Yellow

{Likes}

Jellyfish

Bubble tea

Rabbits

Nighttime/complete darkness/nighttime cityscapes

Self-shipping

Like/reblog spam :D

Random asks (If you're not a dick)

Coffee

Here's my carrd for information about my f/o, ocs, byf etc!

Gifs by @/assassin1513 || Divider by @/ benkeibear

Tags I use:

#Stick a pin in it - Pinned posts

#cosmic/Kaden plays [insert game here] - Whenever I liveblog about a game I'm playing

#cosmic liveblogs - Whenever I watch movies and scream about it here lol

#Anonnies; - for the sweet anons!

#Nyctophilia; - Posts about night or darkness

#Not self ship - self explanatory, posts that aren't related to self shipping!

Here's some memes either made by myself or my moots eheh

20 notes · View notes

retrowhatever · 2 years

Text

All the Horizon Fanfic Stats You Never Knew You Needed

So I did some data analysis. More graphs and lots of rambling below the cut.

I love graphs. And spreadsheets. And making my hobbies unnecessarily complicated. So obviously once I discovered that there's an unofficial ao3 api, I had to learn a new programming language so I could throw some math at my Horizon hyperfixation and make some graphs about fanfics. This post is the result of that rabbit hole, I hope you enjoy it!

Before we get started, I want to make one thing explicitly clear: this post is a celebration. It's a celebration of fanfic, authors, and the fandom in general. If you have something mean to say about a ship, a writer, or a fic, this ain't the place. I made these graphs and wrote this post as a love letter to a game I'm obsessed with and the incredible people who make the fan content that is my main form of sustenance these days lol, so let's keep the discussion positive.

One last thing: I generated these graphs from data that I pulled on Aug 4, 2022. Anything published after that won't be reflected here. Alright, here we go! Let's see some graphs!

Fanfic by Length

The first thing I wondered is what the average length of fic was. I did not include any fics below 100 words, assuming they were either art or placeholders, neither of which provide any useful information regarding number of words.

I defined the categories as follows:

Ficlet - less than 2000 words

Short Story - 2K-10K words

Novella - 10K-50K words

Novel - 50K-100K works

Behemoth (pun fully intended) - 100K+ words

Obviously, there's some blurriness at the category edges, but it's pretty clear most fics tend to be relatively short. I'm genuinely surprised by how many huge, sprawling works there are though - I definitely expected there to be a single-digit number of behemoth fics. Mad props to the folks writing those monstrosities for the rest of us to enjoy!

Fanfic by # of Chapters

This graph kind of underscores the point about most fics being relatively short. There are almost twice as many single chapter fics than all other fics put together.

A thing I think is relatively unique to fanfic as a medium though, is that a fair number of those single chapter fics are novella or even novel length. You're not often going to find a book at a bookstore that's tens of thousands of words and has no chapter divisions, but that's not unusual in fanfic.

Fanfic by Author

Okay, the first thing you need to understand about this graph is the following numbers:

2.6

Those are the median and mean fics published per author in the Horizon fandom, respectively. In case you slept through your stats class, what that means is most fanfic writers have written one or two Horizon fanfics. Now go back and look at the graph.

...yeah. We as fanfic lovers owe a lot to these folks. Most of them are on tumblr, so even if you don't have an ao3 account (same, babe, same) you have no excuse not to go show them some love!

Serie11 is @valaloy

SoupAndChaos is @soupandchaos

mythicait is @mythicaitt

DragonRose35 I couldn't find a tumblr for

Kittleskittle is @kittleskittle

VidalsQueen is @sun-and-shadow-aloy

NorthernGhost is @thatsgonnabeanogho

sunspot (unavoidedcrisis) is @sunspott

januarys I couldn't find a tumblr for

foibles_fables is @foibles-fables

unstable_grad I couldn't find a tumblr for

Pikapeppa is @pikapeppa

YoGrossDude is @yogrossdude

bioluminesce is @owlswatch

wandereringray is @wandereringray

escafiils is @chloefraazers

Fanfic by Rating

Okay, now things are getting spicy! First of all, if I'd had to guess the most popular rating, it probably wouldn't have been Teen. But, given how popular the "fluff" tag is (foreshadowing for the tag graph later in this post), I guess it shouldn't be that surprising.

Secondly, I'm clearly not the only one who struggles to understand what exactly the Mature rating is for, considering it's the least-used rating by a fair margin.

Fanfic by Ship

The most popular ships, colour-coded based on orientation. From left to right: mlm, straight, wlw, poly, machines(?????), unknown

I want to reiterate here that I made this post to celebrate the awesome Horizon fandom, so if you're thinking of using this graph to argue that one ship is better/more correct than another... just don't, k? Good.

I also combined similar tags, so if someone used all three of the tags "Aloy/Erend", "Aloy/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)", and "Aloy (Horizon: Zero Dawn)/Erend (Horizon: Zero Dawn)" for the same fic, that's actually going to count as three fics in the Aloy/Erend column. I'll probably end up redoing this graph eventually with a less naive counting algorithm, but for now this is what we've got.

Now that we've got methodology out of the way, let's talk about some cool things this graph shows!

First, Kotaloy shippers obviously have a lot of things to say. Unlike the other five most popular ships, Aloy/Kotallo is the only one involving a character that wasn't in the first game. And it's the second most popular ship! Y'all are rabid and I love it.

Second, of the wlw ships, the second and third most popular ships involve a character from the DLC and a character who dies immediately after you meet her, respectively. You guys are out here making meals from crumbs and I am impressed. Also, though, why don't Petra and Vanasha get more love??? I'm unsurprised that Talanah and her favourite Thrush are the #1 ship, but I (a clueless straight, to be fair) loved both Petra and Vanasha and definitely expected to see more fic involving them.

Third, I love the variety here. This graph only includes ships with at least 10 fics, and there are so many different ships represented! There were tons more that had 5-10 fics too, and it honestly made me so happy to see that there were multiple fic options for almost any pairing in the game.

Fanfic by Tag

Y'all. Look at all the fluff. People always joke about making their blorbos go through it in their fanfic, but like. There is SO MUCH FLUFF. We all really just looked at these characters and went "well, they deserve nice things for a change", huh? I also love how popular canon divergence is - anecdotally, I usually see that tag on fics that are like "well, what if that shitty thing didn't happen?"

That's not to say it's all sunshine and rainbows. The next two most popular tropes are "angst" and "hurt/comfort", and as an enthusiastic consumer of both, I'm not surprised. But again, anecdotally I see a fair number of fics tagged with one or both of those and a "fluff" tag.

Going back to the ratings graph, where we learned that the most popular fic rating is Teen & Up, it shouldn't be surprising that both "First Kiss" and "First Time" are more popular tags than any of the more explicit sex ones. Also, given that Aloy grew up an outcast, I think the popularity of those tags speaks to how fun it is for both writers and readers to delve into what that means for her when it comes to sex and relationships.

Finally, the most-used content warning tags will surprise exactly no one, I think. Canon-typical violence (because duh), PTSD (growing up a literal outcast before finding out you're a clone made by an AI so you can save the entire world from extinction will do that to ya, not to mention all the shit Aloy's friends/lovers have been through in their own lives), and canonical character death (glares at GEMINI) are all pretty obvious choices.

Conclusion

Because I have zero impulse control, I'm already working on a part two for this post, where I will address such pressing questions as "Which ship has the most verbose authors?" and "Who's the gayest Horizon character?" as well as recklessly use the powers vested in me by the math and algorithm gods to find some hidden gem fics that you might not have read yet.

In the meantime, I would love to hear some more opinions on these graphs! I've commented on some of the things I found interesting, but there's lots more to address here, so feel free to reblog this post or snag any graph you find interesting to use in a post of your own. I only ask that you tag me if you do - because I want to read what you have to say!!

Also, if there's any stats or questions about Horizon fanfic that you're particularly curious about, let me know. I'm limited by the information available on ao3, but I will do my best to find you answers and include them in the next post.

Lastly, one final reminder that we're here to celebrate the awesomeness of Horizon fanfic, the fanfic authors, and the fandom in general. I will humbly accept all constructive criticism about my (somewhat questionable) statistical methods and data interpretation, but ask that you keep comments about ships, tags, authors, etc positive and productive. Remember these are real people creating free content for the rest of us, and don't yuck someone else's yum.

Thank you for reading, and I hope you found this half as interesting as I did!

401 notes · View notes