#(also because we are very neurodivergent)

[bearotonin-international]

I love your blog a lot it makes me happy :) do you have any pictures of a tiny tiny bear that is very small

we do indeed :)

[bleue-flora]

Why I think c!Dream is Autistic - Part 2

[Part 1] - [Part 2] - [Part 3]

If you haven’t read part 1 (eventhough I did try and write these as like separate things) I do recommend you go do that...

Did you do it? Hi hello, welcome back. :) Okay, now having gone over general traits, let’s talk more about the second part of my original statement [post]: “c!Dream is autistic and the consequential misunderstanding and miscommunication is a root of all the problems and conflicts” which I have covered a bit already [here].

So, because we think differently, communication and social interaction is often at the heart of a lot of our struggles (after my diagnosis at 20 I realized just how many of the conflicts in my past came down to this). Me and my therapist like to make the comparison that because autistic people’s brains are structured differently it is as if we are speaking a different language and as a result it ends with things being misinterpreted. Because as we all can recognize, when a language isn’t someone’s first, there are times when things don’t come across properly. Both because of perhaps a lack of words, different slang, tone, culture… etc. When you don’t take translation into consideration, it leads to miscommunication and misunderstanding as a lot of poor assumptions are made and conflict is often the result, especially because our inclination is to think the worst of people. [funnily enough here’s a great example between some anons about translation and communication 1 -> 2 -> 3]

As such, while autistic people have issues communicating with neurotypicals, we often don’t have issues communicating with each other - we speak the same language. So, it isn’t that we are any worse at communication in general than everyone else (in other words Dream is not the sole one to blame here), it’s that we are struggle to communicate with the neurotypical like we are speaking two different languages without even realizing it, so of course we struggle to understand each other. 

I think (hopefully lol) we can all agree that the root of the dsmp conflict is miscommunication and not understanding each other. But the thing is, miscommunication in the standard sense, in our day to day life or in the climax of a romantic comedy is about the absence of communicating, like Quackity not talking to his fiances. It is to have information, an opinion, view or assumption that goes unsaid and then leads to struggle just because it was never talked out. However, in Dream’s case it isn’t that he doesn’t talk it out or not share his side of the story, because he does. He does a lot, he does communicate, how else could Dream apologists understand him even before the finale without his own pov detailing his thoughts. 

He does talk about it but his autistic mind is using logic and facts against an emotional response leading to him being unheard. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter whether tyrant is the right word, they are just expressing their feelings of being controlled by a larger power, but Dream is too focused on pulling out the literal definition and the facts to see the real issue at hand - that they feel controlled and overshadowed by him. So they think Dream doesn’t care, and Dream thinks their points don't matter because their facts were wrong and no understanding is reached. Dream can use logic all day - Why would someone not want to escape a prison they were being tortured in? Why would someone make a prison and then plan on putting someone in an unfortified 1x1 hole in the wall? How can I be the tyrant when Eret is literally the king? How can I steal the discs if they were literally given to me after a fair duel? - but against people just spewing words out of anger, hurt, feelings of abandonment it isn’t going to make a difference.

Perhaps one of the most notable and tragic examples of this is George’s dethronement, in the aftermath of Techno’s attack and the Spirit speech, where Dream meets Sapnap’s and George’s emotions with logic and facts.  (See [here] for full transcript, the following is trimmed down from two different vids)

[18:54] George: “Why—why do you think- why do you think I shouldn’t be king anymore?” Dream: “I think that… you would be safer if you were not, right?”

[23:56] Dream: “You’ll just be targeted if you’re the king, and you wanna be able to like, get revenge on Tommy and stuff, right? So, we can like work to—We can work together. Me and you.” George: “Hm. Sounds like you’re sugar-coating it.” Dream: “No, nono—I mean, it’s a little bit sugar-coated, but it’s also like… it’s just better because you don’t get attacked by everyone, and you can do whatever you want without having to worry...”

[25:37] Sapnap: “George, Dream said he didn’t care about anything on this SMP which… That just means he doesn’t care about us.” Dream: “Okay, I’ll have you say, I was—Okay, I wasn’t—I wasn’t—I didn’t actually mean I don’t care about anything.” George: “Why did you say it then?” Sapnap: “Yeah?” Dream: “Listen, listen! The reason I’m even saying George should step down as king is because I care about him. Because I—He’s been getting attacked, and I care about him, and I don’t want him to get attacked.”

[27:28] Dream: “What did you do as king? Like you didn’t do anything as king like decree or anything...” George: “I’ve been the best king this server has ever had!” Dream: “Yeah, I agree. I agree. But you’ve also been the least safe king because you just get attacked all the time because people don’t like me. And therefore, they don’t like you because you’re behind me, and you’re my friend.” Eret: “By association.” Dream: “Yeah. By association. So, like that’s the same reason, like, Sapnap’s got into some, you know, drama and stuff too, but…”—“Sap, stop pointing the damn bow at me.” George: “Just say—Just say you hate me.” Sapnap: “Yeah, just say it.” Dream: “George! *laughs in disbelief* George, I don’t—Listen to me. I care about you. That’s the reason I don’t want you to be the king.” Sapnap: “First—first—Listen to this. First, he says he doesn’t care about us, and now he’s demoting you as king.”

In this conversation over and over he reiterates how he cares and is trying to keep them safe from being targeted and attacked and yet after everything is said and done, his friends somehow leave that conversation thinking he doesn’t care about them. Why? Because what Sapnap really needed was validation for him feeling hurt, but instead Dream kept reasoning with his emotions with the concrete actions, details and facts, essentially saying that what he feels doesn’t matter because it’s not truth, which was never going to get through to them. They are listening but they aren’t hearing eachother, both think they have made their point and the other side has poor intentions for not reacting appropriately. 

It took Tommy to literally experience Dream’s point of view to understand him and realize his intentions weren’t inherently malicious. Because only then could he shatter his assumptions and misconceptions about intention and motivation. Only then did he know which questions to ask Dream for him to get Dream to answer in a way that made sense to him. Before Tommy experiences Dream’s pov in limbo and after, Dream’s arguments and his answers for why don’t really change, he talks about peace and family so many different times, but it’s only after Tommy goes into his head that he’s able to actually translate what Dream was saying so he can hear him, understand him, see him.

It’s the assumption that the way you understand someone is what they meant to say that causes these issues in communication. Me missing social queues or body language that’s sending me a message and you assuming I don’t care or have a certain opinion on the matter because of my response or lack of response when in fact, no I just did not get the message after all. And as such as an autistic person it often feels like neurotypicals expect us to read their minds because they are sending messages, communicating how they feel just not in a way, not in a language we understand.

So, why do they ask that for the snake and not for people? - because people don’t speak snake, but surely people do speak people, so they assumed they don’t need to ask because they assumed that they can follow the train of thought because it's just like theirs. They assumed they understood each other but it’s like an American and a Brit arguing about jumpers without realizing they are two completely different clothing items.

[snows-2am-thoughts]

Me: *nervous to tell my parents about my autism and ADHD diagnoses*

Me: Mom, Dad, I have ADHD and I'm autistic

Dad: Oh I know, sorry you get that from me

Me: what

Dad: Yeah both me and my brother are, though i like even numbers and he liked odd numbers

Me: MY NUMBER OBSSESSION CAME FROM YOU?? I COULDNT TALK UNLESS THE LETTERS OF MY SENTENCES ADDED UP TO AN EVEN NUMBER FOR YEARS

Dad: Yeah that happened to me too

Me: I COULDNT BLINK OR TAKE STEPS UNLESS THEY WERE EVEN NUMBERS

Dad: Yeah my brother and I would piss each other off because I would turn the light on and off 2 times and he would be bothered by it and do it another time then we would go back and forth

Mom: *silently wanting to tell us we're crazy but also all her kids are ADHD but have different dads so she stays quiet*

Me: no but seriously why never tell me if you knew i was also struggling with the same stuff as you

Dad: you were struggling?

Me: -_-

[shivasdarknight]

one of the things that gets me about fanon lens - especially when you entrench yourself so much in a fan version of a character - is how a character can just slowly be stripped of what they are and who they are because of the self referential nature of fanworks (which isn't inherently bad, don't misunderstand; neglected characters can have new life breathed into them)

which is a long way of getting to: where did people get the idea that estinien's not one to talk, or is bad at effectively talking? I don't mean selectively mute hcs, i mean just very curt. like he's not as flowery as many of the scions or even compared to aymeric, but he's still dramatic and talks a lot. he's precise when he needs to be and extremely blunt, but just because of that doesn't mean he won't ramble

like his whole tangent about where he is today because of the wol right before the Dead Ends in Ultima Thule. his chattiness seems to fluctuate with how comfortable he is with someone, so i'm not really sure where "estinien's bad with words" came from?

he's no politician, but he's good at saying what needs to be said and saying it in a way that matters. yes, there is the whole aymeric thing but avoiding a difficult conversation rooted in guilt isn't the same as being bad at talking. he clearly knows how to get to people - especially to antagonize them into action (see: tiamat, azdaja) - so where did this come from?

[archerofunspeakablelove]

NBC Hannibal certainly has an interesting relationship with neurodivergent representation

[seaweedstarshine]

Sometimes I think of Amy Pond, who grew up being called mad by those who wielded the word as a tool of exclusion and shame —

Amy Pond, who though forced into the hands of four psychiatrists, still clung to that which they called madness until those systems which elevate psychosocial conformity above humanity stripped it from her —

Amy Pond, whose imaginary friend reappeared for a single hour after twelve years and reignited that faith before disappearing for two more years —

Amy Pond, who spent those those two years under the same implicit threat ingrained in her through psychiatric violence, and thus began to believe the man who stopped the invasion was “just a madman with a box,” only for him to agree, and to also call her “mad, impossible Amy Pond,” reframing madness as non-negative for the first time in her life —

Amy Pond, who ignored the disembodied voice of her imaginary friend even as she ran away with him for real, who still lived each day with the traumatic internalization of deviancy dictated upon her by the psychiatric-industrial complex that shaped her from childhood —

Amy Pond, who wouldn't acknowledge the Doctor's voice, such that it took an Angel in her eye that was literally killing her to ensure she couldn't reality check herself —

Amy Pond, who stood before a room which muttered about “the psychiatrists we brought her to,” and though afraid, escaped their rigid parameters of acceptable existence.

[mcybree]

Watching scott cobblemon stream is making me once again consider setting up and running a randomizer nuzlocke where every time a new pokemon is caught a big wheel of names of all the life series characters is spun and like idk the soul of whoever it lands on is isekaid into pokemon bloodsports instead of minecraft this time. could you imagine.

[galaxythreads]

The agent's bio: i want messy, dysfunctional characters and relationships! I want a fantasy story set more in our world. Something like the boys. Found family!

me: :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD BOY I HAVE--

the agent's bio: please Do NOT send me a story that has emotional/physical abuse

Me, whose main character is the victim of parental abuse that is discussed frequently inside the story: NOT. NOT got the story for you.

[girlwiththegreenhat]

haha oh my god the winx enchantix dolls are worth several thousand dollars new in box now. hundreds, even without the box

i have one in my closet, opened and tattered box but i treated her like gold. apparently she literally is now lmfao

edit. look at my doll, boy

[spocksgotemotions]

I know parents’ main concerns is their own children and that is how it should be, but they need to recognize that other kids maybe have complicated situations that require more grace than they’re willing to extend to them

[rragnaroks]

i think i've healed enough to finally get past the embarrassment this first one brings me so here goes

Things That Should Have Made People Realise I Was Neurodivergent, But Didn't, Because I Was a Good Kid Who Didn't Cause No Trouble And Masked Like A Good Girl:

that time in second grade when the class was playing outside on a hot day, and a boy took off his shirt. no one yelled at him. i was also very hot. now of course no one saw my internal debate, and trying to suss out what would be socially acceptable by using logic, but i came to the conclusion that since I was 8 years old and was personally nowhere near starting puberty, it would be okay for me to take off my shirt too. i happily played shirtless for a while, although i could definitely feel the weird looks my classmates were giving me. i wasn't confident in my assessment but i was willing to defend my logic and position. i was right and if the others disagreed, they were the weird ones. a teacher passed by in a hurry and yelled at me to put my shirt on in a scandalised tone. she didn't yell at the boy. nothing further ever came of it.

[dykeogenes]

“what to tell a doctor to get an autism diagnosis” “here’s what i learned from realizing i was autistic at 40″ “i would never want a professional diagnosis” “person first language is so regressive” “autism symptoms are only a problem because of ableism” “we dont need treatment” “no autistic person wants a cure” “four doctors told me i couldn’t be autistic so i found a fifth” “autism is an invisible disability” “dont disclose your neurodivergency to employers” “i/dd and autism have nothing to do with each other” “nt parents/advocates have no place in autism communities” “of course im autistic have you heard me talk about horror movies” babe i have nothing in common with any of you

[isabelleadjani]

hate to break it to yall but a lot of kids who were designated as gifted in like elementary school in fact did absolutely not fit easily into the school system. in fact, that difficulty with the system is often the very reason they get the label gifted in the first place.

[23sanguinity]

The worst thing in fanfic is when you ship a poly ship but there’s not enough content for it so you read a fic with just two of the characters and they make another character you ship with both of them an ex? And it’s not the author fault, they weren’t writing for the poly ship but it still ruins what could have been a great fic because you don’t want them to be exs

[soft-serve-soymilk]

Actually I’ve come to the conclusion that Cynthia would like Kingdom Hearts for the exact same reason she likes Graces f (the homoerotic tension,,,,,,)

[autisticlee]

sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)

but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!

so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"

....

my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!

SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!