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#(and feel free to message me if you want to plot or anything!)
boxwinebaddie · 14 days
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an uncle nina check in <3
hi team! thanks for sticking around! i know my blog isn't always the most exciting and enriching place in the world in terms of content, but i am very /content/ to have you all here. <3333
i promise, oddly enough, i have A TON of inspiration and ideas for all my weird styles ( if you're curious about anything please lmk! i've been trying to flesh out my aus out lately ), i've just been in a major bummer depression era lately, so it's hard for me to get my asks done and i'm having a hard time committing to finishing my writing. :<
i think it's because of stress and my bipolar, but i am trying to get back on the horse! ( are we all laughing at the idea of me trying to get on a horse? i'd start crying help city girl fail moment for me ) yeehaw!
and while, unfortunately due to the instability ( fabulous legendary iconery ) of my pretty girl popstar personality, i do not know whether i will be answering almost no questions or one million, regardless of that, i just wanted to let you know, i'm still here, still kicking my feet, twirling my hair, cooking...i'm just really trying not to force myself to put out anything i don't like...and only do what makes me truly happy.
however, nothing, my dear sweet e-darlings...
makes me happier than coming home to all of you. <333
so thank you for flooding even the darkest corners of my life with bright light, supporting my phantom fics and being wonderful,
uncle nina xx
#nina speaks#hi my loves#idk what the point of this was#i just know my blog is really inconsistent and i know i dont really post anything or anything that useful#but i wanted you to know that i love you very much and i still care a lot about all of you and all my content actually#which i have been fleshing out in notebooks and google docs i've been doing lots of world building and character study#so feel free to ask me something challenging about any part of my nina sp auniverse that interests u itll make my brain work#i've also been taking very silly but dilligent notes abt what ravesey style looks like for ter so if u want to laff at those u can#i just love taking notes on detail and understanding exactly what characters look like or what settings appear like idk#might be some experimental writing on here i like doing different mediums like i was being silly#and started writing a netflix trailer for rm haha i also have been doing weird personality tests and questionnaires#i've been trying to think very deeply about tkak and my tfbw styles if u have any questions there and am deep plotting rm#trying to be impactful while also keeping things fun and learning to enjoy myself again i suppose#so again thakn u for being here sorry its weird on here but thank u for supporting me as i learn and grow my sunshines#also ik i have a ton of asks and uve already asked me so many things so never feel inclined to message me#but i love hearing what ur curious about hopefully i can answer some stuff eventually but again im on a break#i'm here but i'm not this is a safe place we try and fail we have fun and promote style world domination thru my weird styles#ilysm i'm shutting up now i promise i'm still here i'm just trying to be healthy and happy esp rn when i am not emotionally well#gotta protect my peace and my vibe palace but im still here!#MWAH MWAH MWAAAAAH#really trying to heal my inner child or like the girl in me that liked to write silly stories and create crazy things#weird hcs big dramatic plots silly stuff...i want to honor that girl because she was happy and free and had fun#and i want to do that again so lets have fun guys#no judgement no seriousness just good vibes and good reads#welcome to the uncle nina learns to laugh again arc#i hope you enjoy it
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spring-lxcked · 1 year
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on a vaguely related note (in my mind) i love the idea of phone dude walking around one day and finding springtrap trying to leave the building. he can't. he can't open the door by himself. phone dude still totally thinks william's a normal animatronic (minus that fact that he shouldn't be functioning after 30 yrs). "whoa you can't leave buddy we're going to have guests to entertain." insert meme of phone dude helping springtrap walk "i'm not waiting until night" "sure thing bonnie let's get you back to your room"
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lonehearts-a · 1 year
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"there's actually a bunch of stray cats near my apartment, i think one of them is about to have kittens so i've been trying to catch her, but she's so fast — and i've been totally rambling, huh ?? sorry..." color him embarrassed. / @suchaehwas, for ??
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ricky-pride · 2 years
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UNIverse  —— Dr. Richard Pride  —— Criminologist Extraordinaire Ricky had what was considered a difficult life. A loving mother and nonexistent father had left him as a social outcast to many of his young school mates. With no one else to help support them his mother had to work multiple jobs, leaving Ricky to fend for himself from a young age and growing up quickly. One of his favorite pastimes was to play detective and save the day with his partner in crime Detective Puppyworth. The older Ricky got the more interested he was in all things to do with criminology and wondering how he would be able to work in the career of his dreams. Money had always been tight — his mother working back breaking jobs and Ricky working two jobs to help out when he was legal age — he didn’t want to make her worry unnecessarily. Though his jobs kept him busy he kept to his studies, keeping his grades high and doing all he could to ensure that he would get to college without having to take any money from his mother. He was going to put himself through school and make her proud. From graduating Summa Cum Laude riding a full scholarship to his first pick college to his two degrees ( slowly working on a third ) in different areas of Criminology. He lives on the mainland with his two pets, his pup Ghost and cat Alpine who mean the world to him. Though traveling can be a bear most days Ricky knows that it is important to come to school every day. Though he isn’t working directly in the field he is still doing something he loves at Covaire University. Being able to teach new generations of people about the inside workings of the criminal mind. The next police officers and detectives to solve all crimes and protect the victims of those crimes
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halfdeadsacrifice · 5 months
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🎁 for Hilda!
Vayu stared for a moment, leaning one hand against a tree. A few paces away, almost a shadow against the twilight, was a girl -- rather, the girl, the one who was to be brought back to the town of Stadel.
A drawback of spending most his time away from town was that he was too disconnected from whatever situation it was to understand the story behind that bounty, but looking at its subject, something seemed wrong about the whole situation. Some part of him had already made up his mind on what he was going to do about this.
He kept distance between them, and spoke cautiously. "I heard a scream in the woods, somewhere."
Maybe it was her. Maybe she was only chasing it, same as him.
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woahjo · 3 months
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APHRODISIAC! (Bakugou x Reader)
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masterlist 
Pairing: Bakugou x Reader
Summary: Katsuki gets hit with an aphrodisiac quirk. You decide to check in on him. What could go wrong?
Chapter Content Warnings:  fem!reader, dubcon, smut, porn with little to no plot, aphrodisiac quirks, quirkless reader, prohero!katsuki, rough sex, borderline free use, biting, creampie, multiple orgasms (fem!receiving), masturbation, edging (kinda), manhandling, katsuki is dominant but also not idk he's desperate, possessiveness, overstimulation, size kink, scent kink, some light aftercare! woo hoo!, friends to lovers sort of
Word Count: 4.5k
A/N: yeah ik this isn't what i typically write but idk where this came from. i had a thought and it spiraled bad and now i have this. there is no deeper message. there is no meaning. i wrote this to make him FUCK and be kinda weird and desperate and pathetic about it. i needed to see him physically overpower us while also so desperate that it makes him look stupid. i feel violent. this bad boy is not going on ao3 lol. anyway, enjoy, heed the warnings.
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Katsuki paces around the one bedroom apartment he rents in downtown Musutafu. His skin is tingling. Every nerve he has burns like it's been set on fire, needing some sort of touch to soothe it. His cock aches between his legs, hard and leaking against the side of his thigh. Katsuki grits his teeth, running his hands over his hair and then letting his palms slide down the sides of his exposed biceps. 
Sweat collects on his skin, the kind that comes from desperation or maybe a fever, and he feels it on his palms when he lets them drop to his sides and clenches his fists. Fuck, he can't believe he got hit with a non-fatal quirk and had to be sent home. It's humiliating. What's worse is that it hasn't worn off yet, rendering him completely useless. 
He sits on his couch, his legs spread wide, and leans back against the couch cushions, wincing as he reaches to unbutton his pants. He's never been this sensitive in his life and it almost hurts to grab his cock and pull it from his pants. Katsuki watches it twitch for a moment, rigid between his legs and leaking pre-cum from its angry tip. He doesn't even have to think about anything in particular, he's just turned on. Unbearably so. 
Katsuki wraps his hand around the base of his cock and jerks upward once, sucking in a sharp breath through his teeth at his own sensitivity. Then, the desperation sets in fully and he squeezes the head of his cock with a wince and a low groan before beginning to slide his hand up and down. He pauses to spit into his palm, desperate for some sort of relief from the tension weaving its way through his body, his hand moving faster and fast over this dick. Katsuki only pauses when he touches his overly sensitive head, swallowing down an audible moan as he moves his hips to desperately fuck his fist. 
He tries not to think of the humiliation in this, instead focusing on chasing a high that seems to get farther and farther. He stays like this for a while, desperately fucking his fist with low groans and whines. His face is completely flushed, sweat beading on his brow and forehead, covering every inch of his skin with a pathetic, glowing sheen. God, he's almost fucking angry. The frustration, the sheer desperation for release, is making it difficult to control his temper and he knots his free hand into the soft pillow beside him, raising it to his face and using it to cover his head so he can be a little louder. 
He's desperately humping his fist when his doorbell rings. At first, it's only once and Katsuki thinks he can ignore it, but then it comes again, five more times and consistently more aggressive. 
"Katsuki?" your voice calls through the wood paneling of his door. "I heard you got hit with a quirk and sent home. Let me in." 
He furrows his eyebrows at the irony of the last person in the world he wants to encounter at a time like this. Pretty, quirkless, you. His long time friend and recent dispatcher at his agency. Someone he secretly wants to fuck even without the aphrodisiac quirk floating through his bloodstream. You really get under his skin. You’re exactly his type, right down to that annoying little attitude of yours that drives Katsuki insane. Of course, he's always respected your friendship a little too much to do anything about it, but tonight, he doesn't think he'll be able to and he sits in silence with his lip caught between his teeth while he fucks his fists and hopes you'll go away. 
"I know you're in there," you call again. "I can see the light on." 
You bang three times on the door and then ring the doorbell again, pushy and insistent the way you always are. A match for his stubborn attitude. 
Katsuki swears and stands up, his hands shaking as he tucks his sensitive cock back into his sweatpants and flips the head up into his waistband with a hiss. 
The crazy thing is, he can literally smell you through the door. The scent of you, that sweet and rounded perfume you wear, wafts under the crack of his apartment door. He pauses outside of it, resisting the temptation to open it, to welcome that smell into his apartment and use you to relieve the aching in his cock and lower belly. 
"Katsuki?" You ask, a little quieter now. 
Jesus fucking christ, don't call his name like that. 
He swings the door open, letting his hand rest on the side of it so that it is positioned above his head. You look taken aback at his appearance, covered in sweat and flushed from the neck up, his chest exposed and heaving. 
"What?" he says, looking you up and down. 
Katsuki bites back the urge to yank you in. Why is it he can literally smell the sweat on your body and every prick of your emotions? It's like he can tell exactly what you're thinking, or maybe it's what he wants you to be thinking. 
"Don't get on my ass about me still technically needing to be at work," you start, stepping forward. "I heard something happened and I just came to check and you look like shi-" 
Katsuki blocks you from coming in with his body. You stumble backwards lightly and raise your eyebrow at him. There's a pause as you register that you've just run into a solid wall of muscle, sweat covered and glistening, while Katsuki eyes you like you're meat on a platter. He knows he's doing it, but he can literally smell every turn of your scent, soft and sweet. And he may be fooling himself... but are you... turned on? 
"Let me in?" you say with a small laugh, side stepping to go around him. He blocks you again, his fingers gripping the door frame so hard that his knuckles are white. 
"Go home," he says quietly, his voice tense. 
"What? No," you furrow your eyebrows at him. "What's the matter with you?" 
You duck under his arm and place your hand momentarily on his chest. Your touch makes him tingle all over and he sucks in a sharp breath. 
"I'm not fucking around," he says. 
"Okay, me neither," you respond with a bit of an attitude. "I expected you to be worse for wear but you look like crap. Like you're... I don't know." 
You trail off a little. 
"Let me help," you say, shaking off whatever thought had come over you. "I'll make you some food." 
"Look, no offense, but I don't think you want to help me with this," he says, a frustrated bite in his voice. Food isn't exactly what he's hungry for. 
"That's too bad," you say slowly, seemingly put off by the desperate air about him and settling into his kitchen. You move to open the fridge.
Katsuki walks up to you quickly, taking your wrist from the door and holding it between the two of you. Cool air hits his exposed chest and arm as the door falls shut again. 
"I'm dead serious. Get the fuck out of here or I'm gonna do something I regret," he hisses through a clenched jaw. Your skin is warm on the pads of his fingers, wrist held flush against his palm. He bites back a genuine shudder. 
Your eyes are wide as you look back at him, glancing between where he's caught your wrist by your head and his eyes. Katsuki's gaze roams over your face, pausing as he hits the top of your blouse where a few buttons remain open. When he returns his eyes to yours, your mouth moves to open before a heady understanding settles over your features. You're so pretty. Everything about you is pretty, so delightful and delicate. Your eyes look glassy and wide. Katsuki has always found them tempting, but today he can't stop himself. 
He leans forward and kisses you, holding your wrist to his chest as his mouth comes messily into contact with yours. You squeak and freeze and it takes all he has to pull away from you. 
"Go home," he says again, his lips tingling. Katsuki feels the color creep onto his cheeks, his hand still holding your wrist. 
You don't say anything, looking at him with those pretty eyes. He swallows thick and feels the saliva drag against his throat. Then, his mouth dries completely, his expression twisting into discomfort as his cock throbs between his legs as the scent of you takes on a sharper turn. He's never felt anything like this before, something animal. 
Katsuki tightens his jaw, staring at you for a moment. Then, he takes a step towards you. You take one back, though he doesn't feel like you're afraid. Rather, you tilt your head down to look at him through your lashes. He lets out a breath through his teeth and walks you back until your ass hits the counter, his free hand coming to gingerly touch your waist. You inhale when he leans in to kiss you again, screwing your eyes shut and reaching to grab at his shoulder to pull him closer. 
Every touch tingles. It burns and he drops your wrist to manhandle your hips. You suck on his bottom lip, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down to you. He ruts his hips against yours, desperate for any sort of friction to relieve the ache, and you gasp a little and let your mouth fall open. Katsuki takes the opportunity to bite down hard on your lip with a low groan, slipping his tongue into your mouth as the pads of his fingers press harshly into you. You whine, eyebrows pulling up. 
Katsuki’s eyes are slightly open, just so that he can look at you. Every aspect of his senses feel heightened and the relief of your mouth far surpasses that of his hand over his throbbing cock only minutes earlier. 
He pants, taking your hips and lifting you onto the counter so that you’re seated, pulling away for just a moment to lift the hem of your shirt and expose your breasts. Katsuki puts his face on the pillowy tops of them, biting and sucking at the exposed skin as his hand teases its way up the skin of your back to unclasp it. He thinks you’re probably looking at him, but if you are, he doesn’t have the mind to care about what sort of behavior he’s exhibiting. He can practically smell how wet you are from just a little touching and if he weren’t so fucking desperate for a little relief, he’d tease you for a few hours just to watch your pussy drool over him. 
The cool air of his apartment hits your exposed nipples. Katsuki takes it upon himself, without even a second thought, to roll the hard bud under his tongue. He feels the way goosebumps rise on your skin, his hands coming to rest over the tops of your thighs. Katsuki bites lightly on your breast and you fucking whine at it, tipping your head back and rooting your hand into the tufts of his blonde hair. 
His cock jumps in his pants and he’s no doubt leaked enough to leave an evident wet spot against the gray of his sweatpants. He stands to his full height, pushing your skirt up and pressing the outline of his cock to your crotch. Heat bleeds through your panties, the kind that makes him feel like he’s going absolutely fucking insane. You gasp, putting your hands on his shoulders and pulling him close again. 
Katsuki’s mouth hits yours messily, breathing hard as he ruts his hips up against your crotch, pulling you forward on the counter so he can feel as much of the pillowy folds of your pussy through the thick fabric as possible. You let him take your bottom lip between his teeth, sharp canines digging into the wet flesh of your mouth. He whines— high-pitched, desperate sound—as you position your hips to press your crotch against the head of his cock. His head falls onto your chest, forehead resting against the hollow of your throat. Katsuki humps at you, pulling you against him to match the rhythm of his hips, grinding your clothed cunt over the bulge of his cock. It’s a desperate motion, completely subconscious as he lets the quirk he’s been hit with take the lead.
His fingers dip into the crease of your thigh, fumbling as they reach for the waistband of the panties you’re wearing. Katsuki’s desperation is so palpable that he finds himself panting as he slips his fingers into the sides of your underwear, yanking them down. You gasp at the force of it and he swears he hears a small tear as he pulls them from your cunt, the crotch sticking to the lips of your pussy. 
He leans his hips forward again, sliding his cock between your folds with a deep grunt. His mouth finds your neck and he bites along the side of it, lathing his tongue over your pulse point. It’s like he can taste you. Salt and that stupid perfume, collecting on his tongue as you dig your fingers into his back, his dick rutting restlessly against your clit. At one point, he almost slips in, his eagerness and your wetness making him careless. Katsuki sucks in a breath through his teeth, his whole body on fire. 
The kitchen light shines down on his back and he can see the outline of part of his shadow on your thighs as he stares down at them, guiding the tip of himself to your entrance. He hears you wine when he presses against it and moves his hand down subconsciously to rub at your clit. An attempt to ease the stretch. 
You tip your head back in a moan and Katsuki takes the opportunity to kiss your neck before settling his teeth against your shoulder and biting down harshly on the muscle connecting your neck and arm. You yelp at the sensation and Katsuki shutters at the sound, willing out a choked I’m sorry as he slides into your wetness. His hands push into the delightfully soft flesh of your upper thighs, the fat spilling up around each individual digit as he uses your legs for leverage, sliding you forward even further to better seat you on him. 
Your legs are shaking and he can feel the way your nails dig into his exposed shoulder blades. Your bunch up skirt causes the fat of your tummy to fold over in a way that practically makes Katsuki drool. He urges himself to pause, attempting to come back to his senses as the quirk kicks into high gear. There’s relief in being inside of you, in feeling the flutter of your walls around his thick cock, but it also makes him desperate. Katsuki feels like he’s chasing something that he was desperately and it’s just out of his reach. 
You’re breathing heavily above him, he can see the rise and fall of your chest from where his head hangs down, his hands trembling on the tops of your thighs. He looks up at you through his lashes, his vision foggy around the edges as if he were peering through a tube. You’re at the end of it, your eyes glassy and mouth open, returning the look. Your eyebrows are knitted up in pleasure, but you almost seem confused. 
“What are you waiting for?” You breathe out, the first thing you’ve said since he started touching you. 
The tone of your voice is needy, with a delightful whiny lilt that makes him groan out loud. He can barely manage the words that come out next, his brain half mush, and he feels the way his cock jumps inside of you. 
“Don’t wanna hurt you,” he says through gritted teeth, his breath coming heavy. 
There’s a pause and he feels the distinct sensation of you squeezing down around his cock, like the idea turns you on. 
“Use me,” you respond cautiously, your voice still containing that needy lilt. 
Katsuki’s hips fuck up into you voluntarily and he feels the way his breath catches in his throat at the near desperate sound of your voice.
“Say that again.” 
“Use me, Katsuki,” you respond, choking on your words as he fucks his hips up into you. 
You reach for his face, taking it in your hands and drawing it close until it’s just in front of yours. Then, your palms slide down his shoulders and he screws his eyes shut and fucks into you again, harder this time, causing your body to jolt upwards on the counter. 
He curses under his breath, pushing one leg further to the side and fucking his hips up into you roughly. You’re looking right at him, your expression drawn and pleasure-soaked, sweat collecting on your forehead as your mouth drops open into an o-shape. You punctuate his thrusts with high pitched yelps, squeaking out your pleasure and the deepness of where he’s hitting through choked moans. 
Katsuki’s hands move up your stomach to roughly cup your breasts, his mouth so close to yours that he’s practically breathing in the sounds you make in exchange for his own hurried groans. He kneads at the fat of your chest, rolling your breast under his fingers before taking your nipples and pulling lightly on them. 
He’s aware of just how rough he’s being, just how hard his hips are slapping yours, but he feels like he can’t stop. Katsuki chases a high so fucking desperate that his body is on autopilot, reaching and touching and moaning unabashedly as the room fills with the wet sound of his balls on the backs of your thick thighs. 
You push your chest forward towards him, legs spread wide to make room for the width of his hips between yours as he bullies that perfect sensitive spot inside of you. Katsuki feels the way he makes you flutter. Every shift of your body, every involuntary squeeze of your cunt as he drags his cock along your walls, registers as if he were a part of you. His skin tingles everywhere you touch and the drag of your nails over his shoulder blades makes him want to crawl into the deepest part of you. Even the sound of your voice, drawn and desperate and mildly overwhelmed, feels like a drug to him. Every sense he has seems to be acutely attuned to just how badly he needs to fuck your lights out. 
His hands slink down to your hips, resituating you and pulling you flush against him. Then, he drags his cock all the way out of you and quickly ruts back in, moaning as he does. His pace picks up, manhandling you forward on the counter until he is supporting most of your weight. You gasp, your hands gripping his shoulders as you let him use you like a toy. 
Katsuki chases his high, his stomach seeming to wind tighter and tighter but never finding that perfect snap and release. His movements grow faster, using all of his strength to fuck his hips up into you, barreling his cock against your gummy walls and bullying your sweet spot. He feels the way you tighten down around him, your body tensing and fingers digging crescent moons into the tops of his shoulders. 
“Ka-” you choke out desperately, your voice breaking. “Wait, Katsuki, wait! I’m gonna-” 
You shudder, your thighs squeezing around him as he continues to fuck you. 
“Do it,” he seethes, “just fuckin’ do it.” 
The end of his sentence comes out as more of a whimper as you cry out and squeeze down around him, squirming in his grasp as you begin to twitch with every additional thrust. Your body shakes, legs locking around him and struggling to hold him inside as he fucks you clear through your orgasm and then to the other side. 
Katsuki’s voice breaks, almost whimpering like an animal as he buries himself in your pussy over and over again. He wants to smother you, he wants to completely cover your body and get as close as he possibly can. He’s already so much bigger than you, so much broader, how hard could it be to swallow you completely? 
Katsuki’s hands come up under your ass as he wordlessly lifts you from the counter and moves to the couch on desperate, shaky steps. He lays you down, slipping out of you for a moment, before pressing a hand to the inside of your thigh, spreading your legs, and sinking his cock back into you as he crowds his body over yours. 
“You know what?” He says, not really sure what’s going to come next. His head is so clouded with the quirk that he can’t think straight. “I’ve wanted to do this forever. I’ve wanted to fuck you for so- long-” 
He screws his eyes shut, almost angry with the way he can’t seem to hit that high, teetering on a desperate and near painful edge. 
“Those fuckin’ pencil skirts,” he says, unable to control his words or sharp tone. “The way you wear your hair, that damn look in your eye that constantly makes you seem like you’re beggin’ for it.” 
Katsuki whines, a sharp sound from the back of his throat, as you tighten up around him. He meets your gaze, clouded and watery eyes accented by the delightful furrow in the center of your brow. 
“And then you show up here,” he groans, not even sure of what he’s really saying. “Blouse unbuttoned, looking for trouble. I’m gonna fuck your lights out. ‘Till you can’t even think about fuckin’ anyone else.” 
He leans in close, his mouth right up against yours. 
“This is g’nna make you mine, right?” 
You nod, your movements clumsy, and pull him close to you. 
Katsuki loses all of his sense, burying himself in the feel of your pussy and the way he sinks into you, giving into the desperation of the quirk. He can feel just how deep he’s hitting, the way you suck in sharp, whiny breaths with every inward thrust. Katsuki’s hands grip your waist, pulling your ass up off the couch so that his angle is better. 
His cock seems to drag endlessly against your overstimulated, pillowy, insides and you practically drool around. He feels like a dog slobbering over meat, any semblance of politeness completely gone from both his expression and his movements. This is going to fucking ruin your friendship, but he doesn’t even have half of a mind to think about it, so drawn into the delightful feel of your body and the aching in his cock that only seems to subside slightly with every thrust. 
You try to choke out the word “again” and he feels like he knows what’s coming. Your whole body tenses, legs locking around him as you cream over his cock for the second time. 
This seems to get Katsuki somewhere, the sensation of your pussy clamping down finally giving him some leeway to relief. He hits the edge of an orgasm, leading himself to the finish line. 
The tension in his belly grows, cock twitching inside of your fucked out cunt. His fingers dig into your hips and he collapses forward, rolling his body so that the head of his cock catches perfectly inside of you, massaging and churning you up. You’re moaning, though maybe it’s more adjacent to whining, and Katsuki can hear himself mimicking the sounds, his body leading the way. 
Then finally, on a pathetic and broken whimper, Katsuki cums. His whole body tenses, weight pressing down on you as he buries his face into your neck and lets his voice out beside the hollow of your throat. The relief and pleasure is so intense that Katsuki feels the way every muscle in his body tenses and lets go, filling you up with as much of him as he has to give. 
His hips continue to pathetically rut into you, little choked moans escaping his lips as he uses his own cum as lube for his weak little thrusts. Then, he completely relaxes. 
Katsuki feels the way his skin stops burning, the way the desperation at the back of his throat subsides, how his body rids itself of the quirk as quickly as the arousal came on. He shudders, coming back to himself and raising his head to peer at your expression. 
You look exhausted, hair a mess and face covered in a thick sheen of sweat. You still flutter around his cock, your hands gripping his shoulders as you try and ride through the overstimulation of just having him inside of you. Katsuki furrows his brows, exhaustion creeping into his muscles. He raises his hand and uses it to push stray strands of hair from your face with his palm on your forehead. Then, with a clear mind, he leans forward and kisses you. 
You blink at him for a second, before giving a weak smile, raising your eyebrows and letting your head fall to the side. Katsuki winces when he pulls out of you, sucking in a sharp breath and standing to his full height. He places a hand on his forehead like he’s assessing the situation, staring at your body, still fully clothed with your skirt pushed all the way up your stomach and your blouse missing a button at the top. 
He wordlessly walks to the bathroom and wets a washcloth with warm water, walking back over to you and wiping down the exposed parts of your body. You don’t really say anything to him, but you smile quietly while he gingerly wipes you down, your smeared makeup accenting just how much of a mess he’s made. 
“Fuck,” he says. “I’m sorry, this isn’t how-” 
“How you wanted this to go?” You say softly, the corners of your lips turning up. 
Katsuki feels the way he flushes, all the way to the tops of his chest. 
“No, it’s not,” he admits, running a hand over his face as he crouches beside you. 
You laugh a little and he furrows his brows at you, frustrated and embarrassed. 
“You’ve got a bit of a possessive streak, huh?” You tease lightly.
“I got hit with some asshole’s fuckin’ quirk and-” he begins explaining himself, something he probably should have done when you showed up at the door. 
“It was good though,” you say, tilting your head at him from where you lay.
Katsuki blinks at you, his expression completely flat. You should really know just how fucking crazy you drive him. Then, he scowls a little, not because he’s upset, but because he’s currently feeling the opposite and that makes him awkward. 
“You’re into that shit?” He says, a bit incredulously. 
You shrug and give him a coy smile. 
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storywolf · 1 year
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@fellvespers asked: "they'll never understand."
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"You're more than likely right. After all, people can't understand what they don't experience. But that brings me to ask you: are you going to MOPE about it? Sit around and be all boohoo nobody understand me? Or you gonna tell em to fuck off, even if they can't understand you they're gonna have to ACCEPT YOU anyway?"
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sehnsuchts-trunken · 15 days
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What Happens in Cars, Stays in Cars
dbf!jake seresin x fem!reader 9k words
summary: After a month-long deployment, Jake is finally coming back home. Well, not home home. You're too desperate to wait until you've actually got him home. But who needs home when there's a perfectly good car anyway?
a/n: porn with plot. a lot of plot. and a lot of porn. 18+ obviously. reader is twenty-five in this, jake is forty-seven. as always, a list of things to watch out for:
nudes. mentions of masturbation. pet names used in an unholy way. the word 'brat' is dropped twice. safe sex (yess they still have a condom!!! i feel like i deserve a round of applause for not forgetting it). car sex, so a tiny smidge of exhibitionism. dom!jake. a lot of begging, as always. a tad bit dry humping. first finger sucking, then fingering. any more, uh....? i don't think so. there's not much space in a car for anything else.
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(the gif has nothing at all to do with the fic, but tell me that's not dbf!jake working out in his backyard knowing you're watching him istg)
It's a one time thing. That's what they told him. A one time thing.
He isn't supposed to do these anymore. He's supposed to be stationed permanently, sitting in his office and doing what an admiral does. Important work, surely. It's a high honour and he's proud, of course. But office work... Office work has never really been his thing. And if they'd deployed him for this mission four months earlier, he would've been thrilled.
He's the best of the best. The navy knows. He knows. Which is why he's an admiral by now. And also why they want him coaching the new hotshots for a month, halfway across the country.
And, yes, he would've been thrilled - four months ago.
Four months ago, when you'd not yet moved back home. Four months ago, when he hadn't yet met you. Four months ago, when he hadn't known what it was like to hold you, to touch you, to miss you.
His phone chimes and momentarily distracts him. It's not that he didn't mute it - he's standing in front of a bunch of twenty-something year olds who he does try to be a role model for - it's just that you'd tampered with it once and ever since then, you've had a personalised ringtone that still somehow works even when everything else is muted. (He could totally turn that off if he wanted to, though. Definitely. Ab-so-lu-tely. He just... doesn't.)
His jaw clenches and he has to restart his sentence, but other than that, he manages to pretend nothing happened. Nonetheless, he has to glare at the snickering wannabe-pilots in the first row, who remind him very much of a young version of himself.
You're three hours ahead of him and probably just got off work. It's likely nothing but a sweet "having a good day?" message or maybe a photo of you all dressed up, ready for dinner with your friends like you'd planned.
Either way, knowing your message is sitting unopened in your chat has him talking quicker. He finishes his lecture half an hour early and fishes his phone from his pocket before the first of his pupils have even got up from their seats - which turns out to be a horrible, horrible idea, because the photo attached to "don't know how long i'll stay out, have a nice night, admiral" with the winky face emoji is not one of you all dressed up for a night out with your friends, but one of you in just a pair of panties in front of the mirror. The mirror in his bedroom.
Fucking god-
He seems to let out some kind of choked up groan or something of the sort, because a few of his pilots turn to look back at him. One even has the audacity to ask if he's alright, which he certainly isn't. But that's absolutely not their problem.
So he grumbles something about how they should all use their free time to go to the gym instead of bothering him before he collects his things and flees to his room. One of the many advantages of being an admiral, of course, is that he doesn't have to bunk anymore, which is always the greatest nuisance for anybody who's ever looking for privacy. The times he's had to listen to guys jack off a foot away from him- fuck, the times they'd had to listen to him.
No, right now he is incredibly thankful for the privacy of his bedroom as he locks the door behind him and opens his phone again. Goddamn, why were you in his house? His fingers hover over the call button for a few seconds, but then he decides against it - you're going out with friends for the first time in months, he doesn't want to bother you.
He's popping the button of his jeans and sitting down on his bed right as you come online.
"Like the pictures, baby? I've got more"
And before he can even respond, you've sent a bunch more selfies, half of them in front of his mirror, the other half on his bed and none of them decently clothed. Fucking hell, in one you've got your fingers down your panties and Jake is really thankful for the privacy of his room then because he groans so loudly that a bunkmate would definitely have heard.
"Are you still at dinner?", he asks, his fingers flying over his keyboard while he tugs at his zipper with his left hand.
"Yeah, won't be home soon", you write back. "Sorry"
"Don't be", Jake responds, as quickly as he can, because he definitely does not want to make you feel bad for spending time with your friends. "Have fun"
"Have fun with the pics", you send. Jake can picture your grin, sitting all dressed up in a restaurant and ignoring your friends to text him. "Thought those could maybe make up for no phone call tonight"
He swallows hard as you log off, leaving him with those pretty pictures of yours that certainly improve his night by a lot. Hell, he's already moving his briefs out of the way and clicking on your photos again. Just seeing you half-naked in his room - fuck, the thought of you sneaking over there only to do a goddamn photoshoot... You're really unbelievable. Absolutely unbelievable. And he can't wait to get back home to you.
...
"I miss you", you mumble into the phone, blinking at the alarm clock on your nightstand. It's eleven thirty, not nearly late enough for you to feel as exhausted as you do.
"I miss you too, darling", you hear Jake drawl on the other end of the call. "I'll be back soon."
"Not soon enough", you whine - god, you sound pathetic and miserable to your own ears already, you must sound ten times worse to him. You let yourself fall back into your pillows and let out a deep sigh. "Would it be rude to say I hope the mission gets cancelled?"
Jake chuckles. Fucking hell, you miss that chuckle so much. You miss him so much. You miss cuddling up to him under the covers and tucking your head under his chin. You miss running your fingers through his hair and having your hands on him. You miss seeing him, standing in the kitchen or working out or tinkering in the backyard or fresh out of the shower. Shit, you even miss sneaking around with him, because at least then you'd gotten to watch him from a distance, maybe steal a kiss when your parents hadn't been looking or spend an night at his house pretending to be at your friend's.
Now he's halfway across the country and absolutely, completely out of reach. You'd barely gotten to see him at all - twice it had worked out to video-call during a lunch break, once he'd even managed to virtually show you around his office after work. The camera quality is hardly any good, of course, which means video-calls aren't all that great, plus the connection never seems to really be stable, so with a few exceptions, you've only seen Jake in pictures over the past two and a half weeks.
His deployment would take another one and a half and then, finally, he'd be back home. Back home with you.
"I won't answer that", Jake says, and you can almost hear him grin. "But I wouldn't mind either if they moved the mission up."
You have to bite down on your lip to hide a smile.
"So you think you're good to go?", you ask softly, not wanting to bring the mood down further, instead opting for the non-classified work questions. You've already been bringing down the mood enough back here at home - you don't need to fill the few minutes a day you get with Jake with your whining as well. Your parents already hear enough of that. Of course, they don't know why you've been in such a bad mood ever since Jake left. And they can't know, either. You can't tell them. You can't tell anyone.
You can't tell anyone because no one knows that you've been sneaking around with your dad's best friend for the past three months. So you resign yourself to moping around and keeping out of everybody's way as much as you can. For one and a half weeks more, one and a half...
...
Exactly one and a half week later you're standing at the airport in your best heels and a little yellow sundress and are positively buzzing with nervous energy. Jake's plane got in at half, he'd said, when you'd last spoken him six hours earlier. Then the plane had taken off and so had his wifi.
You're playing around with a strand of your hair and doing your hardest not to start chewing off your nails, which proves more difficult than you'd thought (even though you'd put on nail polish).
You're just so excited.
It's been a month since you'd last seen him. A month. And at the early stage of your... relationship, if you could call it that, that's basically half a year. God, how long it's been since you've run your hands through his hair, since you've felt his arms around you.
You miss him so much.
Your phone chimes and you fish it out of your pocket with trembling hands, only to be disappointed when it's not a message from Jake. It's not like you'd told him to text when he'd landed, just... A part of you is kind of scared you're waiting in the wrong place. Maybe he's on the other end of the airport - it's not a particularly small one. It'd take you hours to find each other if you were waiting in the wrong place.
Then again - maybe the plane is late. Maybe he's had to wait for his luggage.
You check the time, just to be safe. It's 11:46. For all you know, Jake is still in the air. Or less than a door away.
You bounce on your feet, nervously shifting back and forth before checking your phone again. The text you'd gotten is from one of your friends, who you text back only to distract you. It barely works anyway. You can't put it away again quickly enough.
It's not even that you don't want to distract yourself. You just physically can't pay attention. You've been a nervous wreck for the past three days, ever since you'd made the plan to pick him up from the airport. Which is probably why you almost don't spot him.
Almost.
He walks through the opened doors with his suitcase rolling behind him, his backpack slung over his shoulder and at least five other people rushing past him.
He sees you before you see him.
But then, then when you see him-
You're already sprinting towards him before your mind even tells your legs to move. You can't control it and you can't be bothered to. Why would you?
You don't care about the people glancing at you with raised eyebrows. You only care about Jake, about Jake who's standing there, pulling his hand from the handle of his suitcase and grinning at you. Grinning at you as you run at him and throw yourself into his arms.
He catches you effortlessly and steadies you as you cross your hands behind his neck and press your lips to his.
God, how you've missed him! How long you haven't kissed him!
His palms flatten against your back and he holds you tight, so tightly to him. You push even closer. He's here. He's back.
You don't realise you're crying until you taste the tears.
That's when Jake pulls back.
"I've missed you", he mutters, raising a hand and brushing the tears off your cheeks. You lean into the touch and tighten your arms around his neck. You're really touching him. He's really here.
"I missed you too", you try to say, but you're choked up and crying and it somehow comes out a blubbering, stuttering mess that you're not quite sure Jake can even understand. "Missed you so much."
He smiles one of those gorgeous smiles that you haven't seen in far too long before he leans down and presses a soft kiss to your forehead. Your eyes flutter closed as you lean into him, your fingers trailing up the nape of his neck. His breath mingles with yours as he draws you in again and catches you in another kiss, tugging gently at your bottom lip as if he has all the time in the world to do it - slow and languid and real. Finally real again.
He pulls you in by your waist, his hands splayed wide and so, so big against your thin sundress. Your nails scratch against his neck and he lets out a groan and suddenly, he's got his hands on your thighs and you're wrapping your legs around his middle and tightening your arms around him and his lips are working against yours feverishly, heavily, messily. You're crossing your feet behind his back when one of them hits something hard. You've flinched away from him even before you can hear the dull crash of his suitcase kissing the airport floor.
There's blood rushing in your ears and you're sure if someone measured your heart rate right now, you'd be sent to the ER immediately. You probably look like a tomato with all the redness in your cheeks. But Jake stares at his suitcase silently for two seconds too, breathing heavily as his grip on you tightens further.
As much as he likes having you in his arms, his suitcase reminds him that you're still very much in the middle of a well-used airport. So he turns back to you and lowers his voice.
"I think we should get out of here, darling."
Your lips tug up into a grin and you lean in to give him just one last, quick kiss.
"Yeah", you breathe, carefully jumping back down onto your own feet. Jake lets go of you only reluctantly - if this wasn't a public airport, he'd never have let you go again. But it is, so he swallows hard as you brush your palms down your dress and blink up at him with a smile.
You're wearing heels. You're still shorter than him by quite a bit.
His amusement melts into a frown when you grab the handle of his suitcase.
"I've got that", he says, reaching his hand out to take the suitcase from you, but you're already maneuvering it away from him and starting to walk in the direction (you think it's the right direction) you'd parked your car in.
"I want to do it for you", you hum.
"Sweetheart, you're already doing enough for me", he says, and he really does mean it. You've driven all this way to come pick him up, you'd watered his plants while he'd been away, you'd even cleaned. That one mostly because you'd desperately needed something to do and Jake's house had always smelled like him, but still.
"Doing enough to you, you mean." Your grin borders on lewd as you dig your teeth into your lip.
"Yeah, that too", he sighs, but he has to grin as well. You're absolutely unbelievable. Instead of trying to argue (he knows it'd be fruitless anyway), he wraps an arm around your back and pulls you into his side, his hand resting on your waist again.
You glance at him.
"I'm not letting go of this suitcase", you warn, even as you lean into his side and swallow. God, he looks so good. And he smells so good. And he feels so good.
"Got it", he chuckles, brushing a kiss to your temple and pulling you even closer into him. He can't have you close enough. Does this fucking airport not have an end? He just needs a little more privacy, a little more space-
"This way", you say and point right. Jake smiles at you as you guide him down the halls. He can't help but watch, can't help but stare at you, at your dress in that soft shade of yellow and your matching heels. Autumn doesn't seem to have caught up with you yet. Then again - autumn hasn't caught up with this place yet. And he's used to Texas heat, he likes that it doesn't get cold here. Also, those sundresses... Yeah, he certainly isn't complaining about the weather.
You speed up when you finally catch sight of the doors, dragging him along with you, almost falling into a jog. The suitcase rumbles against the airport floor, the wheels click-clacking over uneven ridges and bumps and then, thank god, you feel the sunshine on your skin. His hand tightens around your waist.
"Home sweet home", you grin as you take the first step onto concrete. You swivel around and steady both palms against the handle of his suitcase behind your back, bouncing on your heels and looking up at him. "After about a three hour drive."
Jake chuckles and looks back at you with raised eyebrows.
"You'll drive?", he asks. You hum.
"Maybe", you grin as you turn away again and walk over to your car, parked only three rows away for whatever holy reason. You'd been incredibly lucky. And you'd almost run over a grandma. "Or maybe not."
Jake follows you with another low chuckle that sends a pleasant tingling sensation down your spine. It's been so long since you heard that chuckle behind you.
He's next to you again within a few long strides, reaching out for you and you slow your steps to intertwine your fingers with his.
His hands are so big. He's holding onto you so firmly. Fuck, you've missed him so much.
You squeeze his hand and walk a little quicker. Car, home. Car, home. That's it. Then you've got him all to yourself. You can see the car glinting in the sunlight already - and then it's three hours. Three hours next to him in an enclosed space before you've truly got him back.
You stop and let go of his suitcase to fish the car keys out of your pocket without dropping his hand. You push the unlock button and open up the trunk before you turn to Jake and grin at him.
You want to say something, really. It's on the tip of your tongue, still running through your mind, but you've completely forgotten it when you look up at him.
Because while you'd been dragging him to the car, he'd pulled his sunglasses out and put them on and for whatever reason... That kind of does it for you. Holy shit.
"Are those new?", you ask hoarsely and swallow hard, the car keys digging into your palm as you tighten your fist around them. Maybe it's just that you haven't seen him in a month. Or maybe it's the way the sunlight catches his hair, slightly longer than when he'd left. Maybe it's just that with the sun behind him, you've got no choice but to squint at his broad shoulders.
"The other pair broke", Jake explains, letting go of your hand only to wrap his arms around your waist. Fuck, you're just standing there, doing absolutely nothing and he already can't keep from touching you. He has to touch you. He's got to put his arms around you and pull you close. "Why? Don't like it?"
You steady your palms against his chest and let out a breath as your eyes drop to his lips - he's got that cheeky look on his face that's not really a grin but not really not a grin and that nobody but him can do.
"I do", you counter, because it's the truth, and there's no way you can lie to him. "I very much do."
"Very much?" Jake does grin then, raises his eyebrows and pulls you fully against him. "That's more than just a yes."
Your fingers fist his shirt, the car keys digging into his chest just as firmly as they're digging into your palm now. He doesn't seem to be too bothered. He really isn't too bothered.
"They look good on you", you mutter, pulling him even closer. It's been too long since you'd pulled him close... And he feels so good, smells so good, looks so good. Fuck, he's so big and broad and-
"Thanks", he mutters, his grin all cheeky and self-assured and god, is it really this hot? Do you just feel this hot? Because you feel really, really hot. Your skin is burning. How the hell are you supposed to manage a three hour car ride?
"Jake", you whimper, without even meaning to. It's barely above a breath, barely above a whisper, and still too much of a whine to sound anything close to appropriate. A sort of grunt leaves his lips before his arms tighten around you, before he slots his mouth over yours hard. His thumbs drag circles against the small of your back, catching on the fabric of your dress. Your fingertips dig into his shirt, into his chest.
The sun beams down on you, warming your thighs and your arms and every exposed inch of skin, brightness behind closed eyelids as you push further and further into him. He's so sturdy, all hard abs right in front of you, broad arms around you.
You don't even notice the breathless moan that escapes your tongue. You can only feel the heat boiling inside of you, the desperate heat inside of you crawling up your body, every inch of you burning. Burning with want for him. With need for him. Fuck, he's been gone for way too long.
And then he pulls back.
You need a few seconds to even blink yourself back to reality.
"Home?", he suggests, even though it's less of a suggestion and more just a fact. He's getting you home. Now.
"Please", you whine, already halfway through pulling back and dropping the car keys into his palm. Three hours. Three fucking hours, you... You simply won't manage to sit down behind the steering wheel with your skin crawling and your underwear soaked through.
You'll barely manage sitting in the passenger seat.
Jake presses another kiss against your temple before he grabs his suitcase and leaves you standing there, trying to pull yourself together. He's breathing hard and his muscles are tight, his jaw clenched as he heaves his suitcase into the trunk and drops his backpack into it right after.
You force your legs to work, to carry you to the passenger side, force your arm to raise and your hand to close around the handle. It's heavy and hard work. Your body feels leaden, entranced. You let yourself collapse onto the seat and close your eyes.
Fuck.
You'd forgotten how much... how easily...
"Seatbelt, darling", Jake reminds you as he climbs into the driver's seat and adjusts it. You swallow hard and strap yourself in, trying to even out your breathing and pull yourself back to reality while you fumble for the confirmative click.
"Three hours", you remind yourself breathily.
"Three hours", Jake agrees lowly and turns the key in the ignition.
You settle back in your seat and close your eyes, clenching and unclenching your jaw as the radio starts playing and the car rolls out of the parking lot. You just have to relax. Just relax. Relax.
So you breathe out deeply and open your eyes again. Jake glances over at you as you lean forward, flick through the radio channels and then adjust in your seat - it's touching too much, too little of your skin, and the way you're rubbing against it somehow doesn't help in the slightest.
Before you can tuck one of your legs under the other and press the heel of your foot against your core, Jake puts his hand against your thigh. Against your bare thigh. His big fucking hand against your bare thigh.
You bite down on your lip and look up at him.
God, he looks so good. His features are chiseled, his hair that sunny, beachy kind of blond-
"Stop that", Jake grunts, his eyes trained on the road in front of him. It takes you two seconds to even realise he's talking to you. You'd kind of lost yourself in staring at him there.
"Stop what?", you ask, voice hitching as his fingers tighten on your thigh. Damn it, he needs to stop that. He's hardly been driving five minutes, he can't already be teasing you.
For once, actually, he doesn't even mean to tease you - not that you know. He just can't help but touch you, not when he hasn't touched you in a month, not when you're sitting so deliciously, tauntingly next to him.
"Stop looking at me like that", he says, taking his hand off of you to change gears before grabbing even tighter onto you again. "Or I'll have to pull over."
You brush your fingers along his wrist. Your chest feels tight, so tight. It takes everything in you not to push his hand further up your thigh. And you'd actually thought you'd manage a three hour car ride.
"I'll stop", you breathe, even though pulling over doesn't seem like the worst idea. "If you want me to."
A muscle twitches in his jaw.
"Don't do that", he warns, his voice staggering into that indecent gruff of his that has you clenching your thighs together, trapping his fingertips between your legs.
"Don't do what?", you ask, trying your best to sound somewhat innocent while you continue this little taunting game, not as though you're deliberately riling him up. You aren't, really. It's more just a reflex.
He turns his head to you then. His eyes are narrowed and his jaw is clenched and honestly, the way he's meeting your gaze all serious, as though he's trying to reprimand you just by looking at you - for no more than five seconds, of course, before he drags his eyes back to the road - has your lips tugging up in a teasing grin.
"Jake", you whisper, drawing your nails slowly up his arm, all the way from his wrist to his elbow. "Baby. You've been away for so long. You know how lonely I've been, right?"
Jake glances at you again and grunts his agreement, eyebrows raising as he starts to realise what you're doing.
"You can't blame me for looking at you", you go on, digging your fingertips into a spot right above his elbow and drawing one, two circles there. "Or for touching you."
Then you shift in your seat, spread your legs a little and run your fingers down his arm again. You grab his hand and brush his fingertips against the soaked spot on your panties.
"Or for being this wet", you whisper, your breath hitching from the sting in your stomach. He lets out a low curse. "I've just missed you so much."
He sucks in a breath then and trails his fingertips up your panties once, just once, before he jerks his hand back and clenches it hard around the steering wheel, so hard that his knuckles turn wide. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! You're driving him crazy. You're driving him fucking crazy.
He's supposed to be responsible here. Somewhat responsible. You're young, you've got that risky twinkle in your eyes that he knows so well because he'd seen it in the mirror himself for over twenty years. He knows the thrilling buzz that's running through your veins. He still feels it whenever he's in the air. And he feels it around you.
Which is why he's not responsible, not when it comes to you. Not when you're sitting next to him in that pretty dress, with no shorts on and completely fucking soaked through.
You grin to yourself as he pulls off the highway and bite down on your lip, shifting in your seat once more, fighting the urge to trail your own fingers into your panties.
You haven't even asked how his deployment had been.
But goddamn, you'll have enough time to do that once you've got home. Or got off. Or got him off. At this point, you don't fucking care.
He pulls into one of those parking lots that mainly trucks use, one of those where there's hardly ever a toilet and if, then one that hasn't been usable since the last century. Right now, there's two trucks right at the front that Jake just brushes past. He parks your car at the far end and turns the motor off.
The silence is heavy.
Your breath comes much too quickly. Your eyes are fixed on him. And every inch of your skin is crawling with heat. But you don't move. You can't move.
He rolls his seat all the way back.
"Jake-", you whisper, catching on his name when he looks up and meets your eyes. There's a ghost of a grin on his lips, but... Maybe you're wrong.
"Yes, darling?", he asks, raising his eyebrows and leaning back in his seat. You have to strain your neck to keep looking at him. Instead of an answer, you just softly shake your head. You're suddenly unsure of what to say. His eyes weigh you down. You're painfully aware of every inch of your skin under his watchful gaze.
"Come on", he drawls, the grin that's growing on his lips more obvious now. "You were all eager to talk just then, baby."
Your teeth catch on your lip as you let out a breathless sigh. Your fingers hover over the buckle of your seat belt. Can you? Or...
"I missed you", you whisper, letting your fingertips glide over the hard plastic. "Can I-"
You swallow.
"Can you what, darling?", he repeats, grinning widely now.
You chew on your lip as you push down and unbuckle yourself slowly, your eyes still trained on Jake, who simply watches you with raised eyebrows.
"Can I touch you?", you whisper, your breath disappearing into the thick air of the car, the seatbelt still caught between your fingers. The corners of his mouth only tug up further.
You look angelic with your wide eyes and rosy cheeks, so obviously desperate to feel him - but still you don't move. You sit there and wait for him to tell you what to do. To allow you to do something. Anything. It's almost endearing how well behaved you are in moments like this.
"Go on, darling", he drawls. "Come here."
Without hesitation, you reach over the centre console and grab onto his shoulders, steadying yourself against him as you throw one of your legs over his and climb into his lap. His hands find your waist, grab onto your sides, hold you softly against him. Your teeth dig into your lip as you sink down, your fingers trailing along the outline of his collarbones over his shirt, your dress riding up and pooling around your hips. You suck in a breath when your panties drag against his jeans.
Fuck. It's been so long. It's been way too long.
"Jake", you mutter as you lean in, pressing your lips to the corner of his mouth, brushing your nose against his cheek. "You look good."
He lets out a breathy chuckle, his grip on you tightening.
"I know, darling", he can't help but say with a grin. "Thanks."
You giggle onto his skin as you trail your lips down his jaw. Sometimes he's incredibly unbelievable. I know. How cocky. Not that he shouldn't be - goddamn, he should be! You can't even fault him. And confidence is sexy. Especially on him. Though, then again, anything on him is sexy.
"I've missed you", you mutter, pressing another open-mouthed kiss against his skin, this time against the spot between his neck and his ear. "Missed looking at you. Missed touching you."
"Yeah", Jake breathes, digging his hands into your hips and pulling you harder onto him. "I've missed you too."
He's missed you so fucking much that he's hurting, straining against his jeans so hard that he feels like he might combust. And you're kissing down his throat, pressing your lips against his skin, wanting, needing to touch him, to feel him-
A month away from each other. A month too long.
"I need you, Jake", you whimper into his ear, all breathy and desperate, rocking softly back and forth in his lap and letting your eyes fall shut.
"You need me, baby?", he echoes, grabbing you as tightly as he can and dragging you against him, his head thumping back against the driver's seat.
A filthy moan slips past your lips as your hips roll against his, finally, for the first time in weeks. Fuck, yes, you need him so badly. You need him now. Here and now, in the passenger seat of your car.
"Please, Jake", you breathe, steadying one palm against his chest and grabbing one of his hands with the other. You wrap your fingers around his wrist and tug it off of you, but before you can drag it down to your panties again, drop it between your legs and beg him to fuck you, before you can do any of that, he's turning your grip around and taking your hands in his instead.
"You're getting ahead of yourself, baby", he chuckles, before settling your hands against your thighs. He's painfully hard by now, yes- But that doesn't mean you can just drag him to where you want him. "Seems like you forgot your manners."
You're already shaking your head before he can finish. No, you haven't, you haven't, you just need him so badly... and you can feel him, you can feel that he needs you too, so why doesn't he just take you? Why doesn't he-
"I haven't, Jake, I promise", you whisper, looking at him and forcing yourself to still on his lap. It won't help you if you move. It definitely won't help you if you move.
"You haven't?", he asks with raised eyebrows, looking all but amused at you. You keep shaking your head no, no, no. "So if I'd told you to stay in your seat and wait, you would've?"
You bite down on the inside of your cheek and look away. He's grinning. He knows. He's not even really asking. But if you'd learnt anything, anything at all about him, it's that he doesn't like to be ignored. If he asks a question, he wants it answered. So you'll answer.
"No", you breathe truthfully, because you most definitely wouldn't have managed a three hour car ride next to him. There's no way you would've managed a three hour car ride next to him. No fucking way.
His grin widens.
"No", he repeats lowly. "No, darling? You wouldn't have listened?"
"Couldn't", you correct, fighting the desire to rock against his thighs that's growing with every passing second. He looks so fucking good. He smells so fucking good. He feels so fucking good. And he'd fuck you so good, you know that, if he'd just finally get to it.
"Couldn't", he echoes, his fingertips rubbing circles onto the bare skin of your thighs. "That desperate."
It's just that he's that desperate, too. Desperate to feel you wrapped around him, desperate to hear you whimper and moan. He needs you as much as you need him.
"You want me to fuck you, baby?", he asks, all smooth and casual and your fingers dig into your thighs to feel something, anything. It's unbelievable how easily something so dirty slips off his lips.
"Yes", you gasp. "Want you so bad, Jake. Please. I'll be so good for you. I'll be perfect."
A muscle ticks in his jaw.
"You are perfect", he breathes, even though that hadn't been his plan at all. But he has to say it. He has to tell you. You've got him wrapped around your little finger, even if you don't know. And he's not all that sure you don't know anyway.
Your teeth catch on your lip, your hands dig harder into your skin and-
And Jake's thumbs trail along the inside of your bare thighs, brushing up naked skin, drawing a shallow breath from your tongue. A shiver runs down your spine as you clench your legs around his and force yourself to keep still. He's touching you. You have to remind yourself of that. He is touching you. There's no reason at all for the urge to defy him, to pop open his jeans and just sink down on him. He's touching you, he's touching you...
Yeah. Barely.
"Let me feel you", you beg, drawing your hands away from your thighs and trying to put them against his chest - but before you can, he's pulled his hands away from your thighs as well and grabbed your wrists. Again.
"You're not in charge here, darling", he chuckles, pushing your hands back down. He grabs for your waist again. "If you can't behave, I'm gonna put you back in the passenger seat and keep on driving, got that?"
You nod.
You want to be good for him. You will be good for him. God, there's no fucking way you could have managed the car ride already, and if you had to sit through it now, after this- No. You'll be good for him. You'll be so good for him.
He flashes you a grin and goes back to dragging his thumbs along your thighs.
"Ask nicely", he says. "Maybe I'll-"
"Please", you blurt out, your hips involuntarily bucking into his touch. "Can I kiss you?"
His eyes drop down to your mouth then.
"Yeah, baby", he mutters, his thumbs catching on the hem of your dress. "You can kiss me."
He expects you to jump at him, to slot your lips over his and lick into his mouth eagerly - but you only steady your palms carefully against his chest and lean in, your eyes focused on his, your breath meeting his skin. You kiss him softly, lightly, with your lips just so grazing his and your eyes fluttering shut. His fingertips run down the soaked spot on your panties.
That's when your teeth catch on his lip. You sink them into his skin gently and tug, your heart missing a beat as he groans into you. He hooks his fingers into your panties and pulls them to the side just like you'd hoped, just like you'd begged for.
Jake's right - you're not in charge. But that doesn't mean you don't know what buttons to push to get what you want.
His fingertips trail through your wetness for the first time in a whole fucking month. It's long overdue. So long.
You moan into him, pressing your chest right up against his and fisting his shirt, and push closer. You need to be this close. You need to be even closer. You need him to fuck you, now, not only to drag his fingers up to your clit.
But he's too focused on you, getting too drunk on the feeling of you. He's finally got you here again, finally on his lap again, finally kissing him again, finally eager for him again. He's finally touching you again. And he has to touch you.
You're so fucking wet. You're soaked. He wants to take his time to notice that. He needs to take his time to notice that. He needs to touch you, to feel you. He doesn't even mean to tease you. He doesn't even realise he is teasing you. Not until you rock into his hand and let a whine slip into his mouth.
You really don't intend to. It's an accident. You don't want to rush him. What you want is to be good for him. But you can't help yourself.
And he knows you can't.
Which is the only reason he doesn't pull back and leave you high and dry. Well, that - and his desperation to have you.
So instead, he pushes two fingers into you and catches the languid moan you let out. Fuck. You sound so sweet. You feel so perfect. It's been so fucking long.
"Jake", you whimper, just because it's also been that fucking long since you've whined his name into his mouth. Into the low-quality mic of your phone, yes. But with his lips on yours? With his fingers thrusting inside you so precisely, hitting the right spot immediately? No, that's been too fucking long.
It's dirty. Not quick, like the other times neither of you had been patient enough to look for a better spot to have each other and had opted for the car instead. No, it's just dirty, with his fingers pumping in and out of you, his tongue running along yours and your knees rubbing against the seat.
Maybe it's because the radio had turned off alongside the car, or maybe it's just the long month you'd spent apart - either way, all sounds are louder than they should be, your ears ringing with your moans, your wetness around his fingers and his lips against yours.
Goddamn.
He's working magic. You don't know how he hits the right spot again and again and again, his fingers curling, his thumb catching on your clit - but he has you clenching around him, warmth pooling in your core, wetness dripping down your thighs and onto his jeans within minutes.
You pull an inch away from him, your eyes still squeezed shut, your palms flattening against his shirt, and the only reason he knows he isn't just dreaming of you again is because you're warm and wet around his fingers. Everything else about you is unreal.
You're gorgeous. You're so damn stunning, rocking your hips back against him and moaning his name, your lips parted and your skin sweaty.
"Fuck", you pant, your chest rising and falling so tantalisingly that his eyes drop right down to your cleavage. "Just like that."
He has to grin to himself, but he lets it slide, if only because you're looking so pretty holding onto him as he pushes his fingers into you and circles your clit - just like that. Again and again, until you're digging your nails into his chest and catching your lip between your teeth and moaning his name, Jake, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck, until you're clenching around him and shuddering in his arms, until you're reaching your high on his fingers, not on your own for the first time in four full weeks.
"Attagirl", he mutters, straining so hard against his pants that it hurts. "I've got you."
You press your lips against his jaw sloppily as you come down, your breath shallow, your skin burning, just needing to get your mouth on him. You can feel your heart beating, every thud, thud, thud against your chest. God. You hadn't come like that in a month. You'd come, sure, to the low rumble of his voice over the phone, calling you all sorts of sweet names and telling you just how to get off for him. But nothing could ever possibly beat the way he works you.
And still - even as you come down from your orgasm, you already crave the next, long and lust and hunger for him inside of you, not his fingers, but his cock.
"Jake", you mewl, slotting your lips over his and desperately dragging your tongue over them before you draw back an inch, your breath meeting his. "Fuck me? Please?"
He pulls his fingers out of you and raises his hand and before you can even really realise what you're doing, you're parting your lips and watching as he grins and presses his fingertips down on your tongue. God, he fucking tastes like you. You suck his fingers into your mouth obediently and lick them clean, looking at him out of lowered, half-lidded eyes and he fucking grabs at your waist with his other hand like his life depends on it.
Goddamn, it's been too long since he's watched this. Since he's had this sight in front of him. And holy mother of hell, what a sight that is.
Your cheeks hollowed out, your gaze caught on his, your lips wrapped around his fingers. His jeans are too tight. Too fucking tight. He needs relief. Now.
So he pulls his fingers out of your mouth with a low grunt and fumbles with the button of his jeans, quick and hurried. He's barely popped it open before your hands slip between his and push them out of the way. You drag down his zipper, reach into his briefs, finally, finally, finally! and he lets you, steadying his palms against your thighs and watching you tug your lip between your teeth.
"Condom", you breathe, then you glance up at him and blink - once, twice, thrice to get yourself back to reality. Condom. Condom, fuck, you're sure you've got one, you know you've got one, somewhere-
Jake takes his hand off your thigh and reaches for his pocket, pulling out a condom before you've even finished thinking.
You grab it from him almost reflexively, your fingers closing around it, tearing it open - quick and frenzied now, because you're not sure how much longer you can hold out. How much longer you can manage without having him.
You glance up at him before you roll it onto him, waiting, checking, if you can, if he'll let you- And how could he not? Fuck, he's got to clench his jaw and grab onto your waist just to hold back, to stay still. He hadn't meant for it to be like this. He'd meant to fuck you back at home, slow and steady, preferably in bed where he could really see you, where he could see every inch of you, not in the front seat of your car that he'd probably have to get cleaned tomorrow. But he can't fucking help himself. He can barely fucking wait until you've rolled the condom onto him, already grabbing at your bare thighs, slipping his hands below your dress, grasping at your stomach.
You steady your palms against his chest and breathe out a whine as his fingers slide across your boobs, pushing the fabric of your dress up, up, up, circling your nipples, hardened and sensitive and damn, you've missed him. You've missed him so fucking much. It's been so fucking long. And you're so fucking desperate.
So you slowly sink down on him and let out a moan, rolling off your tongue so filthily he has to groan. Shit, shit- You hold yourself against him, drop your head against his shoulder and an open-mouthed kiss onto his skin.
"Fuck", he grunts, his fingers working frenzied circles onto your boobs, trying, desperately, no, needing to touch you, to feel you. God, you feel so good around him. Finally around him again. You take your time sinking down on him, catching your breath and pressing your lips against his neck, your eyes squeezed shut. Inch by inch, you take him - and the only way he can keep from bucking up into you is by trying not to concentrate on the way you feel around him (so, so fucking perfect), but instead do his best to breathe. Just... breathe. It's been too fucking long. And you're too fucking pretty. And he'll go fucking crazy.
"Jake", you mewl, your lips dragging against his jaw.
Instead of an answer, he turns his head and catches you in a kiss.
You whine into his mouth, your legs clamping around his, stilling as you adjust, your tongue running along his lips, his teeth, your hands fisting his shirt, clenching and cramping and pressing against his chest.
"Go on", he urges, pulling away no more than an inch, his breath shallow, mingling with yours. "Take what you want, darling."
"Fuck", you breathe, arching into his palms and steadying yourself against him, your teeth catching on your lip as you move - up, slowly, steadily, then down, faster, quicker, and again, and again. Holy hell. Moan after moan rolls off your tongue. He feels so fucking good. You're so fucking full of him. You find a rhythm, then that spot inside of you. Your head tilts back, your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt, your nails scratch against his skin.
He watches you, every inch of him tensing. You're gorgeous, so damn gorgeous, bouncing in his lap like this. You're stunning, your dress pooling around your hips as he drags his hands back down to your waist, thumbing at your stomach, circling and drawing against your skin. He's touching you. Now, here. It's not just a dream. It's not just his imagination. It's you, you, wrapped around him, moving up and down him, your palms against his chest, your eyes fluttered shut, your teeth digging into your lip.
"Just like that, keep going", he encourages, all low and deep, smooths his hands down your body and can't help but grin as you let out a soft mewl. It's been so long since he's heard you whine for him - so long since he's heard it without hundreds and hundres of miles between you, without the microphone ruining what have to be the sweetest sounds he's ever known. "Feeling good, baby?"
The air is heavy, heavy and sticky. It presses down on you, pushes against your skin, settles on your body and flattens your breath. Every single one of your nerve ends is on fire.
"Yes", you gasp, your eyes fluttering open to take him in, him in all of his very, very real glory right in front of you. He looks so handsome, so fucking handsome. Your thighs tighten, clench. You can feel yourself growing closer and closer and closer with every stroke, with every time you sink down on him. Fuck, he doesn't just feel good, he feels heavenly. He feels like everything you need. "So good, Jake."
The grin on his lips sends sparks through your body. It's confident, self-assured... Yeah, you're on top of him, you're moving, you're taking what you want - but he's in charge, you can see it in his eyes. He's in control. It's in the way he breathes, in the way his hands grab at your hips, in the way he palms at your skin. If it weren't for the red on his cheeks, for the sweat beading on his forehead, you wouldn't even have guessed he's all that affected. But he's hard, he's hard as a rock, and it's taking everything in him not to just buck up into you and come right on the spot.
He prides himself on his stamina. In all his years, he's always prided himself on his stamina - on how he can keep going long enough to make you come twice, thrice. And he'll hold out now, too.
But you're gorgeous. And you feel perfect. And you're close, you're clenching around him as you lean in to press your lips to his, to slot your mouths together and kiss him with all your might.
So you're not making it easy for him. Not at all.
He brushes his hand down to the inside of your thigh, leaves a trail of tingles on your skin before his finger finds your clit. You breathe out a whine that he easily catches on his tongue, your nails digging into his chest as he draws circles on your clit, on that sensitive bundle of nerves that has you melting, your eyes squeezing, squeezing, squeezing shut.
Fuck, fuck, you're close, you're close-
Just for a fleeting second, Jake debates pulling his hand away again and leaving you there, on this edge you're teetering on. Not forever, only until you'd got home or so. But he's too desperate to come, too wound up already, too close himself, and there's a much bigger part of him that wants to just fill you up in the driver's seat of your car, in this random parking lot, a month after he'd last had you. The part of him that will revel in knowing that you'll be sitting in the passenger seat for the next three hours with soaked panties, probably leaving behind a wet patch when you'll get out, the evidence of two orgasms right there-
"Fuck, Jake", you gasp and your head rolls back, your lips parting as your entire body clenches, every single muscle cramping and tightening at once, your nails digging hard and harder into his skin, your eyes squeezing shut. His finger on your clit doesn't still, just keeps drawing circles, keeps guiding you through your high, through the foggy haze you're swimming in as your body writhes and tingles.
Jake is too entranced, too enamoured, too captivated by you to even realise he's spilling inside the condom, coming as you do. He can't feel, can't see, can't touch anything but you - his hand grabs at your hip, it palms at your thigh. Anything to feel you. Anything to be with you as you unravel.
"Jake, fuck", you breathe, a lot more softly now. Your grip on him loosens. He'd barely noticed how your nails had still been digging into his chest, but now that you're pulling them away, stretching your fingers and steadying your palms flat against him, he can't help but miss them. You blink at him with the sweetest smile, your lips plush and kiss-swollen, and the view of you is so disarming that he can just so resist opening his mouth and letting those final three words roll off his tongue. But it's too early, it's way too early, even as you're sitting in his lap, even as you're squeezing his cock, even as he draws his finger away from your clit. He's never been the type to say it early. He won't now.
No, instead he raises his hand and rests his fingers against your lips. Once more today, you part them obediently and wait until he's pushed them onto your tongue. Then you close your mouth around them - he still tastes of you faintly - and suck, slathering them in saliva in that sloppy, messy, dirty way you know he likes, your head bobbing as you clean them off. You pull back just far enough to dig your teeth into his fingertips and bite down on them playfully.
Your lips tug into a grin as he draws his hand back, eyebrows raising, his gaze settling on you - still so very heavy, so intense, so fucking full of sex.
"You're a brat, darling", he chides, but he's already brushing strands of hair out of your face, tucking them behind your ears and then wrapping his arms around you to pull you even closer, even tighter to him. Your grin only grows as your fingers clench into the collar of his shirt.
"Maybe", you laugh breathily, leaning in and pressing a kiss to his lips, one that's so addicting he thinks he might need to stay in this car, in this parking lot for the rest of eternity. "But you love it."
Jake chuckles as he chases after your lips.
"Such a brat."
449 notes · View notes
nxrrislando · 2 months
Text
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BLUE ೯⠀⁺ ⠀ 𖥻 l.norris
𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐝𝐨 𝐱 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐳!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 — ᝰ.ᐟ SMAU
PLOT ━━・❪ When she reminds him of the colour blue, and he becomes more and more obsessed with the colour, eventually the two becoming entirely to obvious much to the dismay and shock of her brother ❫
WARNINGS ━━・❪ everything written is fake and for the purpose of entertainment, mature language, kinda cringe tbh, not proofread ❫
a/n: ❝ you remind me of the colour blue, girl i’m so in love with you ❞ - this fic is inspired by these mac miller lyrics cause I can’t get them out of my head.
key info - anything with ‘ ❀ ’ means speech is in spanish as it makes more sense for two people who both speak spanish to communicate in their native language rather than in the second language of english, however I speak no spanish and would be unable to translate mass amounts of text, will be translating smaller parts tho with an app so translations may be wrong!!
my fics! comment or message me privately if you want to be on my taglist !
( INSTAGRAM POST — JULY, 2023 )
yourusername
uploaded a post — 3h ago
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liked by landonorris, carlossainz55 and 41,432 others
yourusername I want blue injected in my veins
view all 987 comments
username you and the colour blue>>
carlossainz55 the correct answer is red
yourusername BLUE FOREVER AND EVER alexalbon she’s a Williams girl fr yourusername @ alexalbon actually suddenly feeling more papaya carlosainz @ yourusername 🤔
username who got you those flowers yn?
yourusername cant a girl get herself some flowers username @ yourusername judging by the fact you posted a deleted Instagram story of you crying about being bought flowers I’m gonna go with someone else got them😭
username someone check on lando
username why? username @ username lando has been trying to convert her to papaya for years especially when carlos was his teammate username @ username are they dating? username @ username dk fans want them to be tho, landos been obsessed with her since he joined McLaren (he ignores these claims)
username I thought she was in england with carlos for the british grand prix ?
yourusername I am I flew in this morning, these photos were from the other day🫶🏻
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( INSTAGRAM POST — JULY, 2023 )
yourusername
posted on their story — 7h ago
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viewed by landonorris, and 63,765 others replies to your story
landonorris you should come visit my garage blue, maybe give me a good luck kiss
| yourusername I think my brother would kill us both, but maybe you’ll receive a well done kiss later…it’s only free practice tho so maybe maybe not
| landonorris who cares, don’t torture me please. stop by mclaren hospitality later
| yourusername visiting you where everyone can see is scandalous (I’m going to anyway)
username dye his whole garage blue
| yourusername I think I might 🤭
lnfour
posted on their story — 5h ago
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viewed by yourusername, and 233,444 others replies to your story
username HES SO HOT OH MY LIFE
username home race? podium impending?
yourusername tell him I love all the blue on his wrist… and his hair, face, and arms🤭
| lnfour it’s all your fault, you’re infecting me (lando)
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( IMESSAGE — JULY, 2023 )
carlitos
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( INSTAGRAM STORY — JULY, 2023 )
landonorris
posted on their story — 2h ago
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viewed by yourusername, and 1,444,444 others replies to your story
username LANDO LANDO LANDO
username p1 next🙏🏽
carlossainz55 I���m on to you norris
| landonorris what
| carlossainz55 you’re not slick my sister and you
| landonorris huh
yourusername so proud of you lan🧡
| landonorris couldn’t have done it without your good luck kiss
| yourusername you’re so cute just wanna smother you
| landonorris I’m scared of you blue
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( TWITTER — JULY, 2023 )
astonsainz
published a tweet — 5h ago
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( IMESSAGE — JULY, 2023 )
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( INSTAGRAM POST — AUGUST, 2023 )
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landoluvrrr lando recently during the summer break
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username 🤔
username bros been wearing a lot of blue recently
username real is the gf effect this strong
username I wonder what carlos thinks about them
username I can’t imagine he’d be happy🤣
username *plays mac miller*
username hes so hot I love him
username is he on holiday?
username hes been spotted in Greece with yn sainz this morning
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( INSTAGRAM STORY — AUGUST, 2023 )
yourusername
posted on their story — 3h ago
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viewed by carlossainz55, and 69,569 others replies to your story
username WHO IS THAT MAN
username YOURE IN GREECE WITH LANDO? HOW DOES IT FEEL TO LIVE MY DREAM
❀ carlossainz55 answer my texts are you in Greece with lando? are you dating him? I will fucking fly to Greece if I have to yn
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( INSTAGRAM POST — AUGUST, 2023 )
landonorris
uploaded a post — 4h ago
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landonorris I’m addicted to you, blue
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landonorris please don’t kill me carlos I love your sister
yourusername don’t be scared of him he’s a big softy, love you too🫶🏻🫶🏻
username the way the he calls her fucking blue, my guy is in love
charlesleclerc carlos just texted me that he’s gonna kill lando I now understand why
yourusername charles don’t freak him out, stoppp charlesleclerc does it make it worse if I say carlos sent me a photo of a ticket to greece?
yourusername converted you, is it or is it not your fav colour🫡
mclaren 🤨 yourusername @ mclaren whoops, the mcl60 has blue on it tho so it’s ok😇
carlossainz55 you’re dead.
username carlos didn’t know?!
carlossainz55 MY BABY SISTER
yourusername not a baby!
carlossainz55 I’m flying to greece rn, yn don’t move
landonorris please don’t kill me, I love your sister and I promise to treat her right and cherish her for as long as she’ll let me yourusername leave him carlos or I’ll call mami
carlossainz55 answer your phone we need to talk lando.
landonorris uhhh yourusername you will not threaten him, I’m gonna be there whilst you call him
username help carlos in the comments is so funny, I wonder how long he’s gonna flip out for😭
yourusername not long, took a look at landos face on call and went back to being obsessed with MY BOYFRIEND carlossainz55 @ yourusername he was mine first yourusername @ carlossainz 🤨
yourusername the papaya to my blue 🫶🏻
liked by landonorris !
tags — @edwardslvrr
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shiny-jr · 9 months
Text
from IGNIHYDE
- Warning: Yes, this is still a yandere thing. You have been warned. Gender-neutral reader.
- Characters: Idia Shroud, Ortho Shroud.
- Summary: (Continuation, after this “we just got a letter, wonder where it’s from”) You have barred them from entering the safety of Ramshackle Dorm, but they are determined to make their words reach you. Which is why the letters begin arriving at your doorstep.
- Note: This seems a little more low-key than Diasomnia, but the obsession is there if you squint. It’s just way more low-key than the previous group. For some reason I feel like I maybe wrote Ortho a little off? Not sure. Feel free to tell me your thoughts.
Diasomnia   |   Ignihyde   |   Pomefiore
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The break ends quickly. Too quickly. Before you know it, you’re back in front of the mountain of unread letters that appears even more ominous than before now that you could guess what sort of dark contents they may hold. 
For your own peace of mind, you’ve decided to read only two and then take a pause right after. 
The first of which was just a simple long white envelope. That’s it. There was nothing that stood out about it, no special seal or stamp. It was just the generic type of encasing that made it look like it was some sort of bill instead of a letter containing what was bound to be a message that unsettled you in some way, shape, or form. 
When you removed the letter, you was surprised to see that it wasn’t handwritten, it had been typed and printed out. It didn’t take a genius to figure out who this was from. 
Player, 
I messed everything up.
I don’t even see a point to doing this, writing this for you. I mean, if I were you, I’d never want to see my no-good miserable face ever again. I’d go to every length just to avoid even speaking to me again, and to spite them I’d never even show myself around again. But–– Ortho was making a letter and brought my keyboard to my lap. He said it was worth a shot, and if anything, it could be used as an apology so... sorry.
Any sorry would sound half-assed, considering what happened. It’s not like it matters, since I’m sure you wouldn’t read this. I imagine you would figure out it’s from me, and proceed to tear it up, burn it, whatever. And honestly? Valid. At this point, I’m sort of using it as a vent. Usually, I’d be telling Ortho all this, but all these thoughts I’m having would only bum him out and he’s depressed enough as it is. 
You know what sucks besides all of this? The fact that I genuinely tried. I actually tried to be a help for once, and like it always ends, my attempt to help screwed it up even more. Maybe if I had kept my mouth shut and minded my own business while holing myself up in my room like I always do, things wouldn’t have turned out this bad. If I just did what I was good at, which is nothing, Ortho and I might’ve avoided the shitstorm. Everyone else is currently throwing pity parties and plotting these super over elaborate schemes to try and interact with you by luring you out of the Ramshackle place. 
Ortho’s been coming up with plans too with other guys from the dorms that are just so desperate for your attention. It’s sad to watch, pathetic too, but I don’t have the heart to tell him not to bother with it. And me, I know better. If I were in your position and I saw all these attempts, it would definitely make me extra bitter and just hate everyone even more. Oh, I just remembered something worth mentioning. You may not believe me, I mean, I wouldn’t believe a single word coming from me, but I wasn’t actually going to hurt Grim. You though? Before I knew who you were? Yeah. Don’t get it twisted though, I was just doing it to fix everything until the whole truth got leaked not too long after.
Call me stupid, I guess. When I first saw how others revered you like how a bunch of creepy basement-dwellers look at a pretty perfect idol on a shiny bright stage, it was a major red flag. I wanted nothing to do with you. But when you started worming yourself into my life and I started getting attached, well, that made me a creep too for liking you. Red flags be damned. What can I say? Your presence even through Yuu, made me feel like I mattered, which is something I don’t experience a lot. 
You’d never know it, but I took risks just to be in the same room as your avatar. 
Missing special events on games, losing the chance to catch a concert live on screen, even ditching group calls with teammates and friends... All of that was utterly worthless if I got at least a solid sixty seconds by you. 
Unlike everyone else, I know better than to just show up at your doorstep and beg for forgiveness like some misguided puppy. Malleus and co. have been making sure you’re not disturbed, guarding you like a pack of guard dogs or something, preventing anyone from embarrassing themselves and messing up any further. Ortho said I should at least try to call you, I think he just wants to hear your voice. But why bother? 
Don’t get it wrong, I’m not just letting everything go just like that. As much as I’d like to, and I know it’s probably the “healthy” and “good” thing to do, I don’t want to. I’m not good, you know that already. I’ll keep in the background this time, and try not to mess up again. Although no guarantees, because with my lousy luck, I know something will inevitably go wrong. Don’t worry, I won’t bother you. I wouldn’t want to make the mental image you have of me in your mind even worse, if its even remotely possible for it to somehow get worse. I just can’t let go. Even if you looked at me like trash, avoided me like the plague, or straight up tell me ‘I hate you’ to my face, I still won’t let go. 
And, well, all I can really think of right now besides you, is Ortho. Even if I can’t show my disgraced presence to you anymore, I still hope you’ll see Ortho. At least if Ortho could explain to you that he was acting on my plan, he might get lucky and be next to you again. Maybe. Hard maybe. 
But me? No, I don’t ever deserve to be anywhere near you anymore. For now, I’ll go back to how things were way back... when your vessel hadn’t yet had the misfortune of meeting me and I just watched your every move from monitors like some sort of loser schmuck. 
I think I’ll just imagine how things would be if I hadn’t doomed all my chances. If I had a chance... maybe I would’ve actually worked up the gall to sit next to you, or even look at you, or, hell, talk to you. At least, I’ll always remember when you used your avatar to look at me and it didn’t feel bad... like, almost like you didn’t see me as some lame nobody. That must’ve been my mind just playing tricks on me though, right? There’s no way that happened... 
Enough of this mushy stuff though. I’m sick of it. 
Just throw this in the fire without a second glance. 
Idia Shroud 
In order to get this over as quickly as possible, you decided to continue without taking a breather. The quicker you finished reading them, the better, that way, you wouldn’t even give your mind any time to fully process what you were reading before overwhelming your vision with more lines and lines of words until they became blurred together. 
You wouldn’t stop, because if you stopped, that would be allowing your mind the opportunity to spiral out of control. You needed a distraction. 
This wasn’t exactly the good type of distraction either, it was more like adding gasoline to the fire, but part of you had to know what they would say. No matter what feelings you held, the curiosity outweighed it. 
The second letter is identical to the first, a simple long white envelope with no particularly interesting details about it other than the fact that it had zero stains and no wrinkles on it. It was pristine and clean, not even a drop of ink on it. The insides of the envelope itself were blue, with small white lines on it, but upon closer inspection it became obvious that they weren’t just stripes, they were skull symbols so tiny that it was hardly noticeable. 
Of course, as you expected, the letter inside was not handwritten. It was folded so precisely into thirds, and unfolding it displayed the typed and printed words neatly stacked in indented paragraphs. 
Greetings, Player, 
First, I want to apologize sincerely. 
Secondly, I want to tell you how much I have missed you, and my brother has missed you as well! I don’t believe I can fully comprehend how you are felling at the current moment, and I cannot even accurately guess to what emotions you are experiencing. In my attempt to alleviate the situation, I’ve been running millions of simulations of possible alternative futures in order to take the best route where things might return to a semblance of normalcy. 
Well, a new normal, now that you’re here! However... when each simulation yields a result, I can’t help but feel as if something is wrong. That’s when I realized there was a key component that was off. It was you, or rather, Yuu. We know of Yuu and their mannerisms and opinions, but that isn’t really you. Yuu is a vessel, and extension, that’s partially based off yourself. 
So none of us know the true you. At least, not yet! I’m hoping to change that. Just when I think I’m beginning to understand you, things like this happen. But, that’s what makes you so exciting! There’s always some unforeseen detail and amazing new aspect of yourself to learn about. Once I get a proper grasp on what you’re truly like, I can use that new knowledge to make you happy, just as you made me and my brother always smile!  But also, I want to use it to make it up to you. Honestly, I’m scared that you’ll hate me. In the simulations I ran that gave inaccurate results due to those missing components, nearly all the results had a bad ending... 
I don’t want that. I want to have a ‘normal’ way with you and Idia! A good normal! Like where we might all have movie nights in the Ignihyde dorm with freshly popped popcorn and candies as snacks, or study days when we read over notes and help each other out, maybe you might even be able to convince Idia to leave his room so we can all share lunch in the cafeteria like a group of friends would typically do! That’s what I want! I don’t think I could stand knowing I made you cry or was the cause of your pain. I never hurt you, right? At least not physically. 
Believe me, I had made attempts to meet you. But those in Diasomnia won’t allow it. I was tempted to charge up the technomantic beam installed within my form, but realizing it wasn’t necessary, I didn’t. Idia was right when he didn’t make an effort to even join me, and Malleus Draconia with his own have realized it too. You aren’t ready yet. Even if I’m more than prepared to see you, I can’t rush you. So, I left this letter in their hands, hoping it reached you. If not, there’s no worries. I’ve prepared a dozen more printed copies and if that fails, I’ve created a digital copy! 
Since I couldn’t tell you in person, I’ll tell you through paper... 
I’d like to invite you to formally meet me. I’m even prepared to surprise Idia with this! That’ll cheer him up for sure. You always made him happy, so us properly meeting you would be a dream come true for us both! 
If you’d like to do something upon meeting us, I’ve organized multiple activities for us to participate in. The other first years have reached out and expressed their own desires to make up for the mistakes they made. So, I met with them a few days ago to make plans you might enjoy! These plans are still in the preparation phase, so I can’t reveal them quite yet, but soon I will! 
Anyways, I just wanted to make you aware of this. And I want to say ‘I’m sorry’ even though it feels minuscule to what I’m only guessing must be the strong emotions you feel toward what occurred. But I wanted to let you know that I always want to be your friend, and I always will be, even if you don’t really like me anymore. Friends are supposed to be there for each other, right? So I’ll be there for you now. Remember, I’m a high-tech being, I can be of great use to you if you want! Even if you’d rather just use me as a tool, I would be happy. If you want someone obliterated to ashes or are just looking to answers as to what the weather might be, I would gladly help you with that and so much more! 
And it’s not only me that could be useful to you, my brother can too! Although he probably won’t say it, he depends on you a lot. You’re like a battery to him, you give him the energy he needs. If you’d let him, let us both, we’d be there for you in a zeptosecond! 
There’s one thing I know for certain. You’re the common variable needed for our happiness, no matter the scenario or result, you are a requirement. And I’m certain we can bring you happiness as well. Myself, my brother, and everyone that treasures you, can bring you joy if you allow it. All I want is to see you happy, and everyone else happy as well. So will you please at least consider seeing us again? Soon? Please? 
Hoping to see you soon. 
From your friend, 
Ortho Shroud  
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torialefay · 3 months
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You Know Whose You Are 👀
hyunjin x gn!reader smut
✨ friends to lovers trope 🔞
✨ request: "Hi!! For your smut prompts can I pls request Hyunjin & 24 (Hyunjin being the jealous one)? Maybe enemies to lovers or friends to lovers scenario? And for the actual p-in-v part can he fck reader holding her up against the wall (like her back against the wall and legs around his waist position)? Sorry if this is a lot, I’m on my period and I’m having many specific thoughts lmao. Thank you!! 🥰🤍" -anon
✨ word count: ~3.5k
✨ warnings: porn with a plot; minors dni!
• you and hyunjin had become close friends quite a while ago.
• he quickly became one of your closest friends after you'd met him in a bookstore after first arriving to korea.
• while keeping your eyes fixated on the rows of books next to you, you accidentally ran straight into his chest.
• after quickly apologizing to him, you both struck up a conversation about your favorite books & authors. you had no clue who he was, and he liked that about you.
• a real friend.
• since that day, you'd messaged back and forth a lot, hung out almost on a routine basis, and made lots of fun memories.
• after a while, you eventually found out he was an idol (it was bound to happen with his weird "work schedule" he always had), but it didn't matter. he was the same hyunjinnie that you'd built a solid friendship with over the past few weeks.
• but that was the problem- you didn't want it to be just a friendship.
• and who could blame you? hyunjin was the most amazing, kind, intelligent person you'd ever met. you had more in common with him than even your very best friend. it was only natural to develop those feelings for him.
• but you knew the feelings weren't reciprocated.
• he'd never made so much as a subtle hint that he was interested in you as more than a friend... and let's be honest, he was basically the most wanted guy in all of korea. how could you compete with all these other beautiful people?
• so you didn't even let your mind wander to that extreme. you accepted the fact that he'd be nothing more than a friend to you, no matter how much you knew it could have worked out.
• "my best friend", you'd learned to teasingly call him. and soon, even you started to believe it. only that.
• one day, you'd gone over to hyunjin's apartment. he mentioned that he wanted to repaint the walls in the living room, so you offered up some of your free time to help him out.
• it wasn't super often that you came to his apartment. only a couple of times. you'd usually only gone out to do things together like go to a new art gallery or to grab coffee and talk about life. cutesy little things.
• you weren't the most familiar with his apartment, but that didn't matter much as you quickly settled in. you placed your phone in the kitchen to blare music, then headed to the living room to help coat the walls with a fresh set of paint.
• it did take a bit longer than you thought, but you didn't mind. when you and hyunjin were together, you always had fun, taking little jabs at each other and laughing to funny stories you had. the time always seemed to melt away.
• after a couple of hours, your playlist turned off. you guessed it had run out of songs.
• "jinnie, could you get a new playlist going on my phone?" you held your hands up, covered in paint. "i think it'd take me a while to do it."
• he laughed, realizing how messy you were compared to him.
• he didn't need to say anything, just got up and walked over to the kitchen, which was only a few steps away.
• as he went to tap the screen, a notification popped up... from one of hyunjin's life-long friends.
• the two of you had met a week or so ago when hyunjin invited him to go to a poetry reading with the two of you. his friend, ha-joon, wasn't necessarily as into the activity as the two of you were, but hyunjin felt bad canceling his original plans with him when he'd found out the event was happening and really wanted to go.
• and now... he was texting you?
• he read the message as it splayed across the screen:
Ha-Joon: Excited to see you tomorrow :) What are you doing?
• it's not that you were very enamored by ha-joon when you first met, but he seemed like a nice enough guy. plus he was friends with jinnie, so you figured he couldn't be too bad. when he messaged to ask if you'd be interested in going out with him, you thought you'd give it a shot. it's not like you had any other romantic prospects.
• "what's your password? i'll flip to a different playlist," hyunjin raised his voice, trying to act non-chalant. he silently thanked the fact that he was just out of sight.
• "2-7-4-4-1-2" you said back to him.
• he quickly scrolled through the playlists and chose one, letting the music blast through the speaker once again.
• "i'm gonna get a drink, do you want one?" hyunjin lied, going to open up the messages on your phone.
• "yeah, i'll take a water if that's okay?"
• "sure, i'll get it in just a sec." he started to sound nervous as he clicked to ha-joon's name on your phone. dang, texts going back to the beginning of the week. he quickly scrolled through to find quite a few message exchanged between the two of you. he scrolled back to the conversation that started last night.
Ha-joon: This might be a little bold, but I'd really like to get to know you more. Not just through texting. Would you want to grab a coffee sometime? Just you and me?
Sure! That'd be really fun :)
Ha-joon: Are you free sometime tomorrow?
I'm not really sure yet. I'm going to help Hyunjin paint. How about we just plan for the next day?
Ha-joon: Sounds good to me!
Ha-joon: Hyunjin will be okay with this, right? With us meeting up?
I don't see why not. He'd probably be happy about introducing us!
Ha-joon: Okay, I just didn't know if I should let him know or not is all.
Ahh that's okay. I don't think we need to rope him into any of this unless things go well between us ☺️
Good plan. I'm excited to see you!
Same here :) Text me tomorrow and let me know where you want to meet up.
Will do! Sleep well 😊
• hyunjin felt his heart break. he knew he had no right to. but he couldn't help it.
• of course he harbored feelings for you. how could he not fall for the one girl he ever felt like truly "got" him?
• but he hadn't wanted to tell you. not yet. he didn't want you to think that was the only reason he kept hanging out with you. he genuinely LOVED being around you. he was himself when he was with you. and he was so scared he'd lose that if he told you.
• but he hadn't said anything. so he couldn't be upset.
• he mentally kicked himself for introducing you to ha-joon.
• he thought on it for a bit as he reached into the fridge to grab a bottle of water for you. he quickly exited out of the app as he rested your phone back on the table to play the music.
• the upbeat tunes coming out completely mismatched what he was feeling in the moment.
• he stood for a moment, then walked back to the living room, where he saw you sitting cutely on the floor, knees bent criss-crossed as you painted the bottom of the wall carefully.
• suddenly, he started to think about how lucky he felt with this sight in front of him. and how he didn't want another man to be able to see you like this: hair tied up, sitting contently on the floor, completely covered in paint, looking so happy just to be there while bopping your head to the beat without a worry in the world.
• he wanted that. he wanted you. and suddenly, he saw red.
• he leaned against the door frame, now subconsciously squeezing the bottle of water in his hand.
• "y/n, can you come over here for a minute?" he said, voice now full of authority. his face looked annoyed, as he looked off, not able to focus his eyes on you.
• you looked at him confused for a moment, then carefully stood up, walking over to him wondering what was wrong all of a sudden.
• "what is it?" you asked, looking up at him innocently. you could tell something had him deeply bothered.
• his jaw clicked for a moment before he finally looked at you.
• "why didn't you tell me you were going out with my best friend?"
• the question caught you off guard.
• "were you going through my phone?" you asked. you didn't mean to sound accusatory, but that's how it came out.
• "i didn't mean to, but there it was." he looked down at you, not backing down.
• "i mean, yeah, he invited me to get coffee... is it a big deal? i thought you'd be happy if maybe we started seeing each other."
• "well, i'm not."
• "look jinnie, i'm sorry. maybe i should have told you, but i didn't think you'd care. surely he's a good person if he's your friend. and i'd like to think i'm a good person, so it just-" suddenly, he cut you off.
• "it's not about being a good person, y/n!" he began to raise his voice. "what about me?!"
• "what about you?" you asked, voice full of confusion.
• "i like you, goddamn it! give me a chance, not him!" he was full on yelling now, pressing himself up against you. suddenly, you felt small, but so fucking smitten at the same time. hyunjin actually liked you? this whole time?
• your head started spinning. it was just... it was a lot. you began to slowly move back from him a bit.
• "jinnie... i don't... i don't know what to say."
• he followed your path, pushing his body forward toward yours. you were about to be trapped in against the freshly painted wall behind you. you had no where else to go without ruining the wall.
• "say you'll let me take you out. not him." his eyes were trying to tell you something, but you couldn't quite pinpoint what. you'd never seen him like this.
• "i can't just do that to him... i mean he's your friend and i don't want to make things weird and i didn't know you even thought about me-" you were just rambling at this point before hyunjin cut you off.
• "i don't give a fuck if he's my friend. i wanted you first." he pushed his body right against yours, your front feeling him completely. he aligned his face perfectly in front of yours.
• "for how long?" you asked meekly.
• "since i first saw you." he let his eyes wander down to look at your lips before coming back up to focus on your eyes.
• being so close to you, he lightly closed his eyes, letting his lips linger next to you. "give me a chance first. if you don't like it, you can go to him... but i want you more than he does. i promise you that."
• goose bumps popped up along your skin. you couldn't believe he was actually into you. it was actually such a shock, you almost didn't even let your mind think on it. you'd wanted it so bad and suppressed it for so long. you didn't even know what to think. so you remained quiet, just pondering on what you could say.
• "let me show you," he whispered into your ear, getting too impatient to wait for your response. "let me show you how good i could be to you."
• again, you couldn't muster up words. you were so shell-shocked, you didn't even know where to start.
• he leaned into your ear, his breath hot over top of you.
• seductively, he whispered into you, "just tell me to stop," before planting a slow kiss to the side of your neck, at the sensitive spot right below your ear.
• you let out a slight moan at the unexpected sensation. you felt the hairs on your body start to stand up.
• hyunjin smiled and moved his small kisses along your jaw and cheek, then planting straught onto your lips.
• he wasted no time in deepening the kiss, running his hands through your hair until he was holding the back of your head in one hand and squeezing your jaw with the other. he wanted full control of you.
• he moaned as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, giving him access to enter inside your mouth too.
• as you smiled into him, he walked you back until you were pressed up against the wet wall. to hell with it.
• you continued grappling at each other, shoving tongues down throats like horny teenagers. you couldn't help it. this was all you'r ever wanted.
• until you started feeling hyunjin slightly buck his hips into yours. you felt his bulge grind the tiniest bit against you, turning you on with the gentlest touch.
• he let out a small chuckle as you moaned at the sensation.
• he kept sucking on your tongue, harder and harder as he more fervently grinded himself into you. you could feel him getting rock hard against you. and fuck did it feel so good. you couldn't help but pant, and run your hands along his body, desperate to grapple onto whatever you could.
• you pulled on his collar, pushed your hand up his shirt to run along his abdomen, tugged on his waist band- anything and everything you could cling to in order to feel closer to him.
• and he reciprocated fully. he moved his hand around your jaw to secure your face down against the wall, pinning you back hard. his mouth never disconnected from yours as he used his other hand to run along your body. down your neck, around your boobs, down your stomach, down to wear he ground against you, hoping to make brief contact with you before taking his hand around your waist to grab your ass.
• you moaned loudly as he shoved his tongue deep into your mouth and grabbed a handful of your ass with a harsh squeeze. the slight pain felt too fucking good to not yell out about.
• your noises only agged him on more.
• he pulled his mouth off of yours for a split moment.
• "let me take these off?" he asked hungrily, pulling at the top of your leggings.
• you didn't have to respond, you quickly yanked the fabric down, along with your underwear and ripped them from your feet and to the side.
• he smiled down at the sight, loving how willing you were to give into him.
• he connected his mouth back to yours as he followed suit and hastily unbuttoned and slid down his pants and boxers.
• when he was done, he grunted as he felt himself now unclothed, finally getting some friction against you.
• you couldn't contain yourself as you heard him grunt for you. you quickly pulled your hand up to your mouth, spitting into it quickly before bringing it back down to stroke hyunjin's cock.
• "ah fuck," he let out, letting himself grow harder and harder. this was the hardest he'd ever been.
• a wave of aggression came over him as he started to feel territorial. he brought a hand around your neck to give it a tight squeeze.
• "faster," he instructed. he reached his hand down to toy with you too, slowly working up pace.
• you felt yourself becoming more deprived of oxygen as you pumped your hand along him, going down to his tip. when he wasn't satisfied, he rested his forehead on yours and began thrusting his cock into your hand, throwing out grunts as he went. he kept working at your hole until you were lightheaded and writhing underneath him.
• he smiled and let out a little laugh as he released the pressure from your neck to let you gasp for air. you felt light-headed and needed to come back down. but hyunjin didn't let up.
• "let me fuck you." it was more of a demand than a question, but you didn't fight it. you slowly nodded from underneath him.
• he swiftly rand both hands down to your waist and then around your ass until they were resting behind your thighs.
• "jump," he instructed.
• you weren't sure about this. you'd never done it before. you were scared you'd fall and ruin the moment, but you decided to just put your trust into it. pushing your back against the wall, you threw your legs up as he guided them and secured them in place around his hips. he made sure to support the rest of you by keeping your back pressed tight to the wall.
• he used one hand to guide his dick to your entrance before steadily thrusting himself inside. it took your breath away at the sudden stretch and feeling of him inside of you. he didn't give you very much time to settle into it though as he started to fuck into you. hard and steady.
• his hand came back up to support under your thighs, securing you on top of him and pushing you back so your head was almost slamming into the wall as he pounded into you.
• you felt so good around him. so tight. squeezing onto him for dear life.
• he hungrily brought his mouth to your next as he sent fast, angry strokes into your. he guided his tongue around, planting sloppy kisses and fast, violent bites that made you scream out. he fucking loved it. he wanted to hear you scream. make you forget about any other man.
• "that's right baby, scream for me. you know whose you are," he growled. he was fucking you so hard you thought you'd pass out from the overstimulation of it all.
• you kept moaning for him, not knowing how to do anything else.
• before too long, you felt yourself start to pant harder, feeling hyunjin hit just the right spot. you started to grow warm inside, getting your breath taken away with each pounding.
• "jinnie," you breathed out, finally opening your eyes to see him with his eyes hyper focused on you, like he was ready to attack at any moment.
• you could only breathe heavily before repeating his name again. "jinnie, i'm gonna cum." you felt yourself reach a breaking point. it was coming. now.
• "that's fucking right. you're gonna cum for me right now... it's just me from now on. only me." he growled, fucking himself into you faster. "cum on me right fucking now!" he ordered, ramming into just the right spot to send you over the edge.
• you gasped as you threw your head back, beginning to spasm around his cock.
• "ahhh fuckkkkk, just like that," hyunjin mimicked you, throwing his head back now too. "fuck, fuck, fuck," he breathed out, slamming into you faster than ever.
• "ughhhhhhhhh," he yelled as you felt him release inside of you. you could feel yourself still shaking around him, not being given any sort of break.
• as he finished out his high, you wiped at the few tears that had built up in your eyes from the overstimulation.
• once hyunjin was done, he slowly lowered your legs off of his hips and set them back down on the floor, keeping his cock resting inside of you as he put you down.
• with you both now panting and trying to settle down, he just brought both hands up to cradle the sides of your face. he pushed himself a bit deeper inside of you, just enjoying the feeling of resting within you.
• he smiled down as he planted a soft kiss to your forehead.
• you smiled back up at him, placing your hands on his chest over his heart.
• "i think this is how we're meant to be," hyunjin said in a low voice.
• "i think so too," you grinned.
• he kept planting tiny kisses onto the same spot of your forehead. "tell me you aren't still going with him tomorrow."
• "of course not. i know whose i am." you gave him a quick wink.
-------------------------------------
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511 notes · View notes
matrixbearer2024 · 3 months
Note
I really love you "Get off my screen" series! And I just and couldn't stop thinking about Reader just texting out of nowhere saying "Bruh I'm fucking dying"
And Vox is just going haywire(See what I did there?) Worried about you and ask what they mean and Reader be like "I'm dying because of BOARdom(Get it?)
You're Just Being Mean!
A/N: Omg I am absolutely writing this AHAHAHAHA- Vox is always the one screwing with dear Reader so I think it's about time to return the favor. Thank you @crazylzp143 for the inbox idea! I love how much this story is expanding and the ideas y'all have for it. As always, I hope you all enjoy this filler interlude and please keep the ideas coming! Happy reading!
You cheered, flopping backwards on your bed in a cheerful mood.
On your computer monitor was an empty assignment box.
You'd successfully accomplished all your required tasks before the semester's end which left you with a whole lot of free time to burn.
And did you absolutely just unwind and relax.
Playing games, watching movies, bingeing shows-
You practically spedran the chill pill treatment.
To the point where you managed to bore yourself before the day was even over.
You stared up at the ceiling with an annoyed look-
Wasn't there really anything else you could do?
And why did time pass by so slowly?
God you were bored.
In the middle of your TV show binge, your phone buzzed to life.
Considering you'd quickly found the plot line to be quite a drag, you just let the drama play while you no longer paid attention to it.
The white noise the show provided helped make it feel like you were actually doing something.
Even when you knew you weren't doing anything productive at all-
Looking over at your phone, you smiled upon opening the familiar chatbox that you saw almost daily.
"Heya Voxxy, what's up?"
"Well aren't you in a good mood today! Anything special?"
You playfully rolled your eyes, Vox really thought he was being cheeky this time wasn't he?
"Managed to complete all my work for the semester, so now I can just chillax until exams come around!"
"Wait what? Holy shit! You've got a whole two weeks of nothing then!"
"IKR! I can just laze around and do what I want after class hours!"
It wasn't surprising that Vox quickly got used to your schedule, you'd also grown slightly accustomed to his.
He knew the basic rundown of your schedule, like when your classes started and ended-
Just as much as you knew when he had to leave for his daily broadcast and when he would come back.
You could only guess him knowing when exam season happens was from looking at the calendars and schedules you had meticulously prepared in your computer.
There were times he would even remind you of things due on a day, like quizzes or projects to which you would grow embarrassed that it slipped your mind.
You were the one who made the calendar, how could you forget it???
Though it was probably helpful on his end that he quite literally had a digital reference to look back on.
You still wondered sometimes how he managed to end up with a TV for a head but didn't look into it much.
"Guess that means you'll be spending more time with me?"
"Dude, I already spend so much time with you! Any more and I'd have to call you my boyfriend!"
That message really shouldn't have caused Vox to bluescreen but it did.
He was just so flustered that his system crashed in it's entirety because of what you said.
Not that you noticed when all you got in reply was some keysmash and middle finger emojis.
Vox could only imagine you were laughing at his expense, and even then he couldn't bring himself to be annoyed with you.
It was only recently that he'd become hyper aware with how much you meant to him so jokes and comments like that easily sent his mental careening.
Not that he quite understood why he felt this way yet, a part of him still blamed some unknown untraceable malware that your devices shoved into his system.
Though he highly doubted that a stupid virus would make his stomach do flips whenever he saw your silly smile.
Oh whatever, he'll just have to run another malware check later or something.
You just continued to tease Vox for a good while before he had to excuse himself and leave for a meeting.
He was slightly glad that he had just a little respite from your teasing onslaught.
Any more of it and there was a high risk he would've accidentally caused another citywide blackout.
You tossed your phone onto an adjacent cushion and just laughed.
No wonder Vox liked to embarrass you so much.
It was downright hilarious and entertaining.
You couldn't help but feel slightly flattered with his reactions though, was your friendship that important to him?
So he really did care after all, what a dork.
The funny high you were running on, much to Vox's chagrin, didn't last long.
So you decided to go back to fucking with your TV headed companion since he usually did the same to you.
"Dudeeeee I'm fucking dyingggg-"
Vox made the mistake of checking his phone in the middle of the meeting and nearly gave himself a stroke upon reading your message.
What in Lucifer's name even happened?!
Last he checked you were completely fine???
He hadn't even left you for-
Taking a look at his internal clock, Vox glitched from sheer panic.
It hadn't even been an hour!
Was this supposed to be a joke??
Were you just fibbing with him?
Or god forbid you were actually hurt and needed help-
He was about to just bolt out of that meeting before another messaged snapped him out of it.
"I'm dying- dying of BOARDom! HAHA see what I did there?"
Vox felt the last of his patience leave him as rings appeared on his other eye.
The absolute nerve of you-!
"Oh fuck off (Y/N)."
With that, he angrily pocketed his phone and once again paid attention to the meeting.
The poor presenter in the front nearly shat himself from how irritated Vox looked, they didn't know that frustration was because of you though.
You just couldn't stop laughing at his reply, not realizing how badly your overlord friend took the joke until some noticeable time passed and there wasn't a single message or notification from him.
Now that started to concern you.
You'd be lucky to get through an hour with less than a hundred notifications at a time-
It's been two and there was still absolutely nothing.
Did something happen?
Was he upset or dealing with something?
Perchance... did you do something to upset him?
"Vox...? Hey, you good dude?"
You grew more concerned as the minutes ticked on.
Whatever it was- Vox was probably genuinely upset.
And you had a gut feeling it had something to do with you.
"I'm not talking to you."
You almost wanted to roll your eyes at his message, was he being childish?
So your hunch was right, you did manage to upset him- somehow.
"Ehhhh??? Why? What did I do?"
"You know what you fucking did (Y/N)."
Not really- that's why you asked.
Your hands dropped onto your lap tiredly as you looked up towards the ceiling.
What... what did you do wrong?
Scrolling up to read your chats, it didn't take long before you realized where it went wayside.
Oh.
"Right, you don't really like it when I joke about dying huh."
"No."
"You never really told me why, and you never cared this much before. You would just laugh it off when I delivered the punchline."
"You're still young (Y/N). You have your whole life ahead of you. Dying puts you at risk of ending up here in hell with me."
"You know that doesn't sound as horrible as you paint it right?"
"Pardon?"
"I'll end up where you are, that can't seriously be that bad."
Vox genuinely wondered if you had a screw loose or something this time.
He continued to try hammering it into you that it was hell he was talking about.
Eternal damnation, the never-ending inferno, etc.
Ya know, where all the sinners went to suffer??
But again and again you would just keep repeating-
"But I'll be where you are, it won't be that bad- it can't be that bad."
Until he finally understood what you were insinuating.
It wouldn't be so bad, because he was there.
He would be there with you.
At that point the state of hell or where you were wasn't important.
Vox could only chuckle at his own foolishness.
Not to mention just how oblivious you were to your own words.
"I guess. Just don't do that again."
"I'll try not to. Besides, if I croak and end up at the heaven gates- I'll put in a good word for you."
"You? In heaven? Nice joke dollface."
"Oh fuck you too Vox, I was being optimistic."
The tech overlord just rolled his eyes, there was a real risk that he could lose you soley because heaven would take you away but he didn't dwell on it.
You were still here texting him, cracking jokes and being your obnoxiously cute self.
You were still on the other side of the screen furiously typing up a comeback of why you would be able to get into the pearly gates.
Vox just chuckled, as long as you were with him in the here and now-
He found he wouldn't care even if hell froze over.
A/N: Our Voxxy is starting to catch feels, well- slightly- he's just in the stages of caring a bit too much but not realizing it's romance yet. Writing this stuff is hilariously entertaining, plus the slow burn is just yummy hahahahah I'll be putting out some more interludes tomorrow but the direct continuation is finished! I just need to post these things chronologically XD
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🎀 CM KidFic Challenge 🧸
The following are prompts involving children/pregnancy!
This event is over (Masterlist of Fics coming soon), but you are welcome to use any of these prompts. If you would like to be added to the existing Masterlist of entries, please check out the Rules below!
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Prompts
Child says their first word(s)
Child becomes an older sibling
Character stands up for their child
The couple enjoys trying for a baby
Characters are fantastic platonic co-parents
Child is starting to act a lot like their parent(s)
The couple announces their pregnancy to everyone
The couple fosters a teenager preparing for college
The couple takes their child to college/their own place
The couple thinks they’re having twins… but it’s triplets
Character runs into their ex who has a child that looks just like them
The couple realizes how different things are the second, third, etc. time
Character needs reassurance about the fact they don’t enjoy being pregnant
Character finds that being around Child helps them heal their own inner child
The couple babysits together, which leads to a conversation about their future
Character struggles with the fact that their teenage kid has their first partner
Character is very attentive to their pregnant partner... almost irritatingly so
Character witnesses a quiet moment with their partner and their baby during a night feeding
Character, chronically single, asks their best friend if they’d be open to having a child with them
Child realizes that not every kid has two moms/two dads and they have a lot of questions about it
The couple takes Child to daycare for the first time but they can’t make themselves leave the parking lot
Child is having a hard time at school, so Character picks them up from school for a day of quality time together
Pregnancy cravings lead to a very dramatic late-night grocery store trip that makes Character fall more in love
Anything else you can imagine!
Childfree/Pregnancy-Free prompts below + Create your own!
Childfree/Pregnancy-Free Prompts
Character is the fun uncle/aunt
The couple adopts a pet together
Character gets to meet their partner’s (judgmental) pet
Character reveals that they don't want to have children and their partner's reaction surprises them
A child the BAU saved comes back years later to thank them and show what they’ve done with their life
The couple decides to give up on becoming parents and they learn how to have a fulfilled life without a child
Rules
The fic can be a Reader insert, an Original Character, a character/character ship, a platonic ship, or a Gen fic. It can feature any Criminal Minds character. AUs and crossovers are more than welcome.
Tag me in the fic, or send the link to me in a Direct Message. It can be already written, or you can write it for the challenge - I’m collecting both! You can also tag it “#mentioningmargins” which is a tag I track.
The fic can be any genre, but ONLY send me smut if your bio states you are 18+. I DO NOT WANT smut written by minors. Ever. At all. I will check.Platonic ships and pure, fluffy fics are 100% allowed.
Please include Content Warnings and a one-sentence Summary of the fic in your post.
Have fun!
The Masterlist of fics will be posted around May 1. If you finish after that, no problem - just send me the fic once you’re done and I’ll add it after-the-fact!
Feel free to message me if you want help developing a plot, have any questions, or just want to gush about your fic. I’m happy to help, and I’m happy you’re here ❤️
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Happy Writing!
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mafiadad5 · 5 months
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Kalopsia
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( ka • lop • sia) - The delusion of things being more beautiful than they really are.
Jaehyun x femreader ft. Doyoung
Description- I went back to my college town, my dad worried about me and my safety makes sure to load me with a bodyguard to be safe, little do I know it turns into a whole web of secrets, lies, and history that shouldn’t have been dug up.
Word count- 11.6k
Genre- mafia au (not corny I swear), smut 18+, bodyguard au
Warnings- slight degradation, praising, oral (fem and male receiving), unprotected (plz wear protection yall T.T), 3sum, overstimulation, guns and blood (not too much), alcohol.
No proof read cause heh…
Authors note- hi my loveys! This is my first time writing something with actually plot and full (multiple) smut, I hope you like and please feel free to comment or dm with your thoughts:) I will like to say that the way I deceive them in the story is nothing like their personalities irl and I DEFINITELY do not see them like this. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy 🎀!
"Hey y/n."
The staff tapped my shoulder as I woke up. "What's up?" I said, removing my headphones from my ears, placing them on my neck. "Well, it's just that your dad is gonna explode if you sit in the plane for another 15 minutes." He said, pointing to his watch. "Oh shit, thank you, Leon." I got up, grabbed my bag, and headed out of the plane, my father waiting for me with a stern face. "Y/n." He said, a smile appearing as he took me into a huge bear hug. "Hey, Dad." I smiled, him kissing my forehead as he hugged me one more time. "Let's go home, I know you're exhausted." He said as Leon grabbed my bags, placing them into the trunk as me and my father got into the car. "I know you're tired and I'm sorry to do this to you on the first day you're back, but get dressed because we're having a dinner meeting tonight." I paused, looking at him. "Dad, already?" He smiled generously, taking a sip of water. "You know the drill Y/n, I don't make the rules."
"You literally do though."
After a long car ride home, we finally made it to our house, it was as glamorous and beautiful as I remembered. I got out of the car, instantly going to the garden, my favorite place, my dad screaming at me to not forget about the dinner. I sat on the bench, the beautiful lake shimmering before me.
"I didn't know you were back butterfly?"
I heard from beside me as I turned. "Marie?" I said as I excitedly ran up to her, giving her a big hug. "Where have you been I thought you quit years ago?" I laughed. "I would never." She said as she smiled, grabbing my hand, sitting down beside me on the bench. "Well, I was going to quit, but I decided to stay my dear."
"So then where's Margot? Or does she hate me? She stopped responding to my messages ages ago, is she mad I left for college in another country?"
Marie paused for a moment, her face changing into a sadder expression as she grabbed my hand, avoiding eye contact. "I'm afraid Margot is gone now." She said, swallowing every tear that was about to fall out of her crystal brown eyes. "Gone where?" I turned to her.
"She is dead, the Korean gang got to her. I tried to save her, but it was far too late."
A tear rolled down her face as I grabbed her hand. "No," I said, there was no way. "She was only a worker why would they even come for her?"  "Y/n when we all tell you to be careful, it's for your own good. They would do anything to get your dad upset. They don't want him dead; they want him put away." "I understand." I said as I pulled her into a hug. "You need to quit then go far away." She broke the hug, looking at me in sorrow. "It's far too late, since I've worked for your dad, I will always be a target. Besides, my only job now is to keep you safe, I don't have much to live for anymore."
She gripped my hand tighter looking me in the eyes. "You should be safe because no one knows your location and where you go to school, it was the safest option. Promise me y/n, promise me you'll be careful, don't go out to parties or do anything stupid ok?" "I promise." I said as I gave her one last hug. "Now go get dressed for the meeting dear." I left her there on the bench, as I walked up to my room, checking my phone for the time. I had 3 hours till dinner, so I just decided to chill.
It was time for dinner and Leon walked me down to the meeting, my dad and his partners sitting around the table, Marie giving me a slight smile before turning back serious again. "Hello everyone thank you for showing up, especially my lovely daughter who left school to attend tonight, I promise you'll be flown back tomorrow. We have some important things to talk about." Everyone sat silently, the only noises were my dad and knives and forks gliding on their plates. "The Koreans are starting to make a move now. We need to talk about your roles." I sat, wondering why I was invited to this meeting.
Everyone was quiet, still not saying a word, but we all wondered the same thing. Why now?  Someone cleared their throat, making it known that they wanted to speak. "How are they making a move now? They haven't been active for years." My dad looked at his plate, looking back up clenching his jaw. "That's because they know there's something I can't protect anymore." He looked at me, sorrow in his eyes as Marie looked at me as well. "I hired new bodyguards, bodyguards I can trust. Y/n he will assist you, when I say assist, I mean he will keep you safe, but the decisions you make are up to you, there's little I can do from here... you're in control of your own life now."
"I understand Dad."
He wiped his mouth, setting down his napkin. "Now..." he cleared his throat. "I know one of you is a traitor, I invited you in here to let you make your last call, and tell them everything you've heard in this meeting, and also inform them that if they even so, go into the same room as my daughter, they are dead. Leon, please escort Y/n to her room, I change my mind, she needs to leave tonight." He walked up to me, giving me a big kiss on the forehead. "I love you, you're my everything, my only daughter, my life. Stay safe y/n, your bodyguard will be waiting for you when you land."
"I love you too dad."
A tear fell down my eye as I hugged him tightly, Leon tapping on my shoulder, "The planes ready princess, we have to go, your stuff is ready." I went into my room, grabbing the stuff that Leon missed, giving my home one last look before getting into the car. One thing about this lifestyle is that it's nice, but so unpredictable. I might come back and the whole house would be destroyed.
The car and plane ride were long, and I pretty much slept the whole time, waking up to Leon tapping my shoulder softly. He helped me out of the plane, my luggage already outside. "Thank you, Leon." I said walking to the car, going to the driver's seat before someone stepped out in front of me. He had silver hair and beautiful clear skin, his cheekbones were sunken in, and his dark eyes stared daggers into mine. "Hello, you must be y/n?" He said, not moving an inch, still staring at me. "Yes? And who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Jaehyun, your bodyguard."
He smiled, taking off his black glove, and reaching out to shake my hand. Before I could reach out to shake his hand, Leon held up his gun to him. "That's a Korean name." He looked at him, smiling while holding his hands up. "I'm just a bodyguard, nothing more nothing less." Leon came up to us, pushing me away from him, holding up the gun to his forehead. "Liar."
"Wait, Leon,"
I said, them both turning to me. "Stop Y/n." He said turning back. "No you stop... get in the car." I said to Jaehyun, he instantly sat back in the car, Leon turning to me with a frustrated look on his face.
"Do you trust me Leon?"
"Yes but..."
"Stop it, if you trust me then let me go with him. I'll be safe. That's my bodyguard ok. The Korean gang is not stupid, he wouldn't have said his real name. Let me go." I said, holding onto his hands. "I just don't want you to get hurt Y/n, you're my responsibility." "I'm not 12 anymore Leon, I'm my own responsibility. It's ok, let me go I'll see you soon ok." He kissed my hand, letting them go as he turned to the car before turning back. "Ok, ok. Please stay safe princess, I'll see you soon." He gave me one last look before getting back on the plane, blowing me a kiss, smiling before he left, just like he always did when I was younger.
"Ok princess, are you ready to go?"
I turned around to see him out of the car. "Don't call me that." I said as I walked to the passenger side, him following closely behind me, opening the car door for me. "Let's go mama." "Don't call me that" I said as he shut the door, hopping into the driver's seat, driving away shortly after.
 "Where are we?"
I said. We pulled up to a small house in an abandoned area, the only thing lighting the area was a dimly lit warm house light on the outside. "This is where we're staying now" he said, getting out the car, coming over to the passenger side to let me out. "No, I want to go to my house." He popped the trunk, getting my suitcase, walking up to the door entrance as I paced behind him like a lost child. "You will, tomorrow when we go get your stuff. He unlocked the door to the house, opening the creaking door, flipping on the lights exposing the space.
"Um."
The space was small, everything was in the same room except the bathroom, and when I say bathroom, I mean just the toilet and sink. The shower was in the open space as well. "This is a little small." I murmured, walking into the enclosed space after kicking my shoes off, sitting on the couch that sat a few feet away from the bed. "Maybe just a tad bit." He said, taking off his gloves and shoes at the door, walking around the kitchen. "Daddy wouldn't buy me anything this small, what's going on?" He scoffed, walking to the couch, sitting beside me.
"Don't be a spoiled brat, this is fine."
I looked at him, rolling my eyes as he tried to get comfortable, hitting the couch beside him with a distasteful look on his face. "This couch is hard as a rock." I looked at him. "I thought this was fine." I said mockingly as he got up from the couch, doing the same hitting motion to the bed, ignoring what I had just said.
"Better."
"You care about my comfort that much?"
I said, getting up from the couch going into the small kitchen, getting a glass of water. "No, I care about my comfort." He said, looking at the open shower, then looking back at me with wide eyes and a small grin. "You better hope there's another shower here somewhere." "It doesn't matter anyways," I looked at him "You're not staying here."
He looked at me in silence, taking his blazer and white dress shirt off, exposing his black tank top underneath, the tight elastic fabric hugging his toned torso. I'm not gonna lie, I stared a little, maybe even stuttered but he was literally perfect. "Can we just go back to my apartment so we have separate rooms." He looked down, unbuttoning his trousers and pulling down the zipper before looking back up at me. "Your apartment gets raided and I'm in another room or taking a shower, then what? We're both dead." I stayed quiet, examining his body up and down, completely in a daze as his hands gently fiddled with the waistband of his pants.
"Am I distracting you?"
My attention instantly geared to his face, his eyebrows lifting teasingly. "I have to use the bathroom." I said, going to the small enclosed room with only a sink and toilet. "If you're going to touch yourself I want to see." He said, his eyes following me to the bathroom as he chuckled lightly.
"You're sick."
I said, before closing and locking the door. Pulling out my phone to text Leon.
—————————————————————————————
Leon why did my dad get me a house so small?
Y/n why didn't you ask him that yourself 😂?
Leon this is not a laughing manner, you know he's going through a lot, I don't want to sound ungrateful😭.
Don't ask me y/n, are you 👌 ?
Yes
Well goodnight princess, text me if you need anything👍
Ok Leon, goodnight lol.
—————————————————————————————
I sat in the bathroom for another 30 minutes, walking out to find jaehyun sleeping in the bed. My bed. I didn't mind though, he was cute when he slept anyways. I took off my pants, getting in the cold white sheets. Wasn't the most comfortable bed I've slept in, but I'll be ok. I sat scrolling on my phone a little, jaehyun moving around in the spot beside me, groaning slightly as he tried to fix his position, tugging the cover from me.
"Great, he's a rough sleeper"
I whispered out, laying down, facing my back towards him, tugging the cover back. I sat there, staring outside in the backyard, a dimly lit field fading into a dark void. It was intimidating, but somehow I felt safe. My eyes slowly closed as I drifted off to sleep as well.
"Y/n" I heard a faint whisper in my ear, I turned around, thinking it was just in my head, pulling the cover over my ears. I felt someone flick my nose softly, enough for it to wake me up. I opened my eyes slowly. "Boo." Jaehyun laid in front of my face, wide eyed as I jolted away violently. "What the fuck." He smiled, sitting up grabbing his phone. "Well, we have to go get some stuff from your apartment, do you have anywhere else you would like to stop?" He turned to me, my eyes still halfway shut as I nodded. "Where?" I got quiet, turning the other way, placing the cover back over my shoulders.
He jerked the cover off of me, my bare legs feeling a cool breeze as I tried to snatch back the cover, but failed. "You couldn't even put pants on before getting in bed with me?" I sighed, sitting up before grabbing the cover back from him covering myself up. "We're not 12, it's not that serious."
"Don't hide your legs now, they're pretty. Can't wait to make them shake."
My face filled of unamusement as I got up from the bed, stretching before going to the huge window I looked out of last night. " Weirdo" he got up, inching closer to me "Oh you know you want me to-" I cut him off abruptly, "We need window curtains I don't trust this."  He sat on one of the bar stools in the kitchen, staring directly at my ass as I watched his reflection in the window.
"You're safe enough with me don't you think mama?"
"Stop staring at my ass."
I said before turning around. His lips folded into a grin as he turned the other way, trying to ignore me. His torso curved as his elbows rested on the granite counter. He had blue and black plaid pajama pants that loosely hung onto his waist, god he was so sexy. He sat his hand in his lap roughly, but delicately, waving it around making my attention gear to his face. "You seem to get distracted by my body easily," he said getting up from his chair, making his way towards me as I backed away from him.
"Do you want me?"
I stayed quiet, backing up until my back hit the window. "Do you think I'm attractive y/n?" I stopped for a second, silently looking at his face, examining his distinct, delicate features. "Mmm... No." I smiled, moving past him going to my suitcase. "Didn't you say we had places to go? Let's go then." I said, going through the clothes in my suitcase. I heard nothing but a door slamming as I turned around, jaehyun going into the bathroom. "Damn, I was just kidding." I whispered, laying back down in the bed after getting dressed. It was a while and he still didn't come out the bathroom, my eyes got heavy quickly as nothing but sounds of nature from the woods leaked into the house, causing me to doze off.
"Get up."
I felt someone shaking my body as I was rudely awoken. "Hmm?" I popped up, rubbing my eyes. I looked out the window, it was completly dark, the only thing lighting the house was a warm lamp that sat on the nightstand beside the bed. "We're leaving now." he said, walking to the nightstand with the lamp, opening the drawer grabbing a silver and black pistol, opening the magazine checking the ammo before stuffing the gun into his waistband.
He turned to me as I sat obviously staring sharply at his every action, raising his eyebrows before turning away from me, heading to the door to put on his shoes. I examined his outfit, a loose fit t-shirt with loose fit jeans. "Oh, so you're dressing casually now?" I said getting up, meeting him at the door, putting my shoes on, grabbing my jacket. He ignored the comment, opening the door, locking it behind me as I walked out.
We made it to my apartment, Jaehyun telling me we didn't have enough time to stop for curtains. I went to unlock my door, but something didn't feel right. I turned the door knob with hesitation, the door opening slowly as I peeked inside, taking a step back, leaving the door slightly cracked, my face turning into a look of panic. "Hurry up, what's taking you so long." Jaehyun's voice echoed through my mind as my heart sunk to my stomach.
"Jaehyun..."
my voice was breathless as I turned to him, a face of annoyance now turning into one of worry. "I think someone broke into my house." He got in front of me, opening the door, his hand under his shirt, gripping his gun. He slowly walked into the apartment, signaling for me to follow behind him as I shut and locked the door behind me so if there was anyone there they couldn't escape. He searched the living room, his gun now up and aimed.
"Sit down"
he mouthed silently, pointing his gun to the sofa that sat in the middle of the dark room. I sat soundlessly, my leg shaking anxiously as nothing but hushed apprehension filled the house. I sat there, a million thoughts racing in my mind as I bit my nails nervously. I was knocked out of my thoughts when I heard a doorknob rustling. I sat for a second, examining the apartment ... all of the doors open. My attention automatically geared to the front door, the doorknob manically shaking.
"Jaehyun."
My voice was shaky as I got up, backing away from the couch and door.
"JAEHYUN."
Jaehyun ran into the room as a loud thud sounded. Everything else was a blur as I ran away from the chaos. The only thing I saw was the light from the apartment hallway in the doorway, and sparks. I shut the door, locking it behind me as intense gunshots and loud thuds sounded, echoing violently in my head. I went to my nightstand, grabbing my small revolver as the gunshots stopped all of a sudden, the house falling silent again. I stepped away from the door, holding my gun up as I heard shuffling coming from the living room. I was ready for anything when I heard the doorknob to the room rustling again, then knocking on the door.
"It's me baby, open the door."
The voice was familiar, and gave me a bit of relieve as I took a deep breath, aiming my gun to the floor.
"Open the door."
I heard him say again. An uneasy feeling settled in my stomach as I held my gun up again, aiming it at the door. I walked slowly as the uneasiness and suspicion of if it was really him raced through my mind. I unlocked the door slowly, quickly opening it holding my gun up, Jaehyun's dark eyes meeting with mine.
"Aren't you a little too pretty for guns?"
"Fuck Jaehyun." I placed my gun on the tv stand, wrapping my hands around him as I pulled him into a tight hug. His hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me deeper into his body, his scent made me almost breathless.
"God look at you."
I said, his white T-shirt now covered in blood. "Get your things quick, before the police get here."
We made it out of the apartment safely, avoiding the police as we got into the car, driving back home. "I'm just gonna stay out here for a little, you can go inside." He nodded reassuringly, stepping inside the house. "Well, I'm going to shower." He shut the door, leaving me outside alone. I took in the fresh air, sitting silently thinking about my life, how chaotic things are all the time, and how surprisingly that wasn't even the first time someone tried to kill me. I reached into my pocket, grabbing a heart-shaped locket, feeling the exquisite patterns that laid on the front of the jewelry, the cold tarnished silver chilling my fingers.
I held onto it tightly, closing my eyes taking in the fresh air, thinking about all the memories, about what my life would be if I wasn't born this way. At times, I wish my life was just normal, I barely had friends growing up, not real ones anyways, well except for one, but all good things come to an end. Thirty minutes passed, I was knocked out of my thoughts when I felt a vibration in my pocket. I grabbed my phone out of my back pocket, Leon's name popping up on my notification center.
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Hey princess😊
Hey leon
Just wanted to text you to see if you're 👌
Yea im good leon, im really tired though, so i'll talk to you later.
copy 👍 goodnight princess
goodnight leon
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I walked back into the house, taking my jacket off at the door. Jaehyun sat on the couch manspreading, watching tv. His hair was slightly wet as he had a loose black shirt on, with those same plaid pants on.
"You can leave now."
He looked at me, flipping off the tv as he got up from the couch, looking me up and down. 
"Was today not enough for you to not want me to stay with you hm?" he inched closer to me, shooting daggers into my eyes.
"Nope, you can leave Jaehyun."
I said smiling, kicking off my shoes walking to the living room, going to the window. "It's my job to stay baby." He said still not breaking eye contact, his eyes following me. "Well, I'm your boss. Your boss is telling you to leave."
"Oh yeah? As far as I know, you're not my boss, you didn't hire me."
He was inching closer to me taking small steps pulling up the sleeves of his shirt, bringing attention to his muscular yet, soft hands and arms. "As far as I know, I can get you fired?"
"Fire me."
I stood there for a second, quiet, smiling slowly "You know what Jaehyun." I said, moving closer to him.
"What?"
"I think I'd rather fuck you."
I grabbed his shirt, pulling him closer to me with a mischievous smile.  "Mmm, I thought it would've been at least a week before you wanted to fuck me. He grinned, the reflection from the outdoor light sparkling in his eyes. "Don't be cocky, just right place, right time situation." He nodded, our faces inches away from each other. "And what do I get out of this mama?" He said, his voice deep and husky, his eyes going pitch black once again. "What do you what?"
He grabbed my waist, our lips separated by nothing more than a conversation, his cold fingers feeling my waist, his voice in a faint whisper
"I want to know more about you over breakfast tomorrow morning."
"Deal"
Jaehyun quickly lowered his lips down to mines, taking no time to roughly kiss me. His tongue traced my bottom lip teasingly before diving into my mouth, his hands holding onto my hips tighter, his nails clawing at my skin ever so slightly. The kiss deepened as he explored my mouth, backing me into a window, the cold glass chilling my hot back. His hands wandered up and down my body, one of them unbuttoning my pants, his lips not leaving mine.
His hands slid into my pants, his fingers dipping lower as he broke the kiss.
"Wait."
He spoke, removing his hands, looking at me in the eyes deeply.
"Didn't you say you were going to fuck me?"
He said, moving to the couch.
"Do it,"
He spread his legs, his boner poking through his pants as he sighed, setting his arms along the edge of the couch.
"Fuck me then."
I walked over to him, getting on my knees in front of him, sliding in between his legs as he smiled, giving me a reassuring nod as I teasingly fiddled with the drawstrings on his pants, slowly pulling them down, not breaking eye contact with his cold eyes. I pulled down his underwear as his eyes filled with lust and determination. I took no time to wrap my hands around his shaft, spitting on his tip as I glided my hands up and down.
"That's it baby, give me what I want."
His hand moved to my face gently stroking my cheek, the warmth of his skin sending shivers down my spine. I slowly lowered my head, his length disappearing in my mouth. "Fuck." He grunted, throwing his head back on the couch.  His hips started to move in a rhythm that matched the movement of my tongue, forcing me to take more of him.
"That feels so good baby."
He said in a desperate, but quiet moan, his hips bucking up slightly against my mouth as I took him deeper and deeper. His moans started to grow louder and more frequent, his hands finding their way to my hair, slightly tugging and guiding my mouth, his length throbbing against my tongue, demanding more.
"Fuck mama, right there, just like that."
His grip tightened on my hair, his other hand making his way to the back of my neck, guiding my movements as he pushed deeper into my mouth. His moans grew louder as I took him deeper, tears dwelling in my eyes, my tongue exploring every inch of his dick. His body tensed up as he rose his hips further and further, his hips moving faster as his length starts to twitch in my throat.
"Fuck." He choked out, throwing his head back on the couch, gripping my hair tightly as he released in my mouth.
"Damn."
He said, taking a deep breath, looking down at me, wiping my mouth and the tears that fell. I stood up in front of him. He looked up at me with a sly smirk, slipping off his shirt, his heavenly crafted abs and perfect frame fucking my mind before he even touched me.
"Come here, don't act scared now."
He said, grabbing my hand, pulling me closer. His hands wrapped around my waist, slowly moving down to my hips as he pulled down my pants and underwear in one quick motion, him looking directly at me with that same sly smirk. He pulled me even closer, kissing my bikini line, moving further and further down. He pulled me into his lap, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"You ready baby?"
I wrapped my arms around his neck. "Mhm." He lifted me up, placing his tip at my entrance, slowly sinking me onto his length. "Fuck." I whined out, his hands clawing my hips as he moved me up and down on his dick, going deeper into me every time. "Shit, like that." "This is what you wanted right?" his voice echoed in my mind as he thrusted into me faster, hips bucking up, as my eyes rolled up from the intense pleasure of his length deep inside of me.
"Look at me or I'll stop."
he said, moaning softly in between his words. I looked at him, beads of sweat dripping down his forehead, his hand moving back down to my hips, guiding me up and down. "I doubt it." I said, trying to sound as confident as possible, but not being able to hold my composure. "Oh yea? You want to test that baby?" He slammed me down harder, forcing a moan out of me. "Answer my question."
His free hand made its way up to my face, dragging my lip down with his thumb. "No." I mumbled out, throwing my head back as the intense pleasure sent shivers down my spine. He moaned out, desperate, full of need as he guided my hips sloppily. He grabbed waist, flipping us over, him now laying on top of me. He thrusted roughly as he cursed and moaned into my neck.
"Fuck you feel so good."
He whimpered out, his words vibrating on my skin as I gripped onto his hair, throwing my head back moaning loudly as my body jolted with every curt thrust. "Oh fuck I'm coming." My legs started to shake aggressively, the sensation of his deep breaths and moans on my neck mixed with the hard thrust driving me over the edge. "Well I'm not done." He said, continuing, pushing into me as my walls clenched around him, causing him to let out a quick moan.
"Fuck Jaehyun, please."
I moaned out, removing my hands from his head, placing them on his torso, trying to push him out of me. He instantly grabbed my hands, pinning them to the couch above me. "You can take it mama, I know you can." I threw my head back violently, trying to release my hands from his grasp, but failing miserably as he forced them back down. An overwhelming feeling of intense pleasure fell over my body as he thrusted harder. I shook my head before throwing it back, whining out to him.
"Do you want me to help you, or do you want to keep being bad and keep your hands pinned?"
He whispered in my ear, our bodies clapping together, making an unbearable friction. My loud moans filled the room as tears started to dwell in my eyes from the intense pleasure. "Answer me." "Help me." I mumbled out in a tired moan. He unpinned my hands, wrapping them around his neck. "Pull me when it feels overwhelming, grab my hair if you need to ok, do you understand me?" He said in my ear, his thrust slowing down, eventually stopping as he stayed inside of me. I nodded as he placed his hands beside my head on the couch to keep balance.
"I'm gonna go fast, do as I tell you or I'll stop ok."
I nodded again, his dark eyes looking at me, beads of sweat falling down his forehead slowly. "Tell me ok." He said wiping my tears. "Ok, I will." I felt him twitch inside of me, his head lowering into my neck, looking down for a second as he placed one of his hands on my waist. 
He wasted no time, thrusting quickly inside of me. I whined under him while sliding my fingers into his hair, tugging softly. "Well, that didn't take long." He groaned into my neck, teasing the soft skin with subtle kisses. "Fuck." his moaning left tingles on my neck, making their way down my spine. I clenched around his length moaning loudly as he let out panting moans, going even faster in retaliation as my walls fought against him.
"Fuck Y/n, I'm almost there."
Sweet sounds of lust echoed through the house as he desperately thrusted mindlessly, my breath hitching with every movement. I cried out for him, my hands tugging at his hair as his thrust got sloppier. "I'm there, baby." he cried out, panting over me. My legs started shaking aggressively once again, his thrust sloppy as he twitched inside of me. He lifted up my shirt as he let out a choked moan, pulling out of me, releasing his warm liquid on my stomach.
Deep breathing filled the room as he sat beside me on the couch.
"Look at what a mess you made."
He chuckled, a ring of my arousal sat at the bottom of his member.
"I can say the same thing about you." 
After a long shower, I had no energy to even get dressed, I lazily found a t-shirt, slipping it on as I sat on the couch, laying my head on the uncomfortable pillow, dozing off slowly as Jaehyun showered, falling asleep eventually.
I woke up, the bright sun shining through the window, burning my eyes as the soft sheets cooled my body everytime I moved.
"Stop moving."
An angry groan came from beside me. "Oh shut up, you're in my bed." I turned over, grabbing the cover, placing it over my head before Jaehyun pulled it back over to him. "Stop taking all the cover." I whined as he sighed, flipping over so he was facing me. "Then get closer to me sweetheart, so we can share." I looked at him, rolling my eyes before sitting up facing my back to him. "You hungry princess?" I nodded, as he handed me the cover "Here wrap yourself up, I'm going to step out for a moment, but get dressed so I can take you to the breakfast you promised me."
I nodded again, wrapping myself up, turning back to look at him, his pajama pants hanging low on his waist, his shirt hanging low on his collar bone. "Distracted again?" He said a small smirk appearing on my face as I saw him smile, his dimple leaving a distinct imprint on his cheek as he walked outside getting his keys from the nightstand
"Can you stop, no I'm not distracted." 
He made his way to the door, sliding on his shoes "Whatever you say darling- I'll call you when you need to come outside so we can leave, ok?" I nodded, getting up going to my suitcase, Jaehyun calling me about 45 minutes later telling me to come on.
I put my slipped my shoes on, walking outside to see Jaehyun waiting outside the passenger door.
"Thank you Jaehyun, you're a doll." 
An awkward smile painted his face as he shut the door, hoping in the drivers side, making sure the gates shut behind the car as he drove away.
"We're here." He gently tapped my thigh as I lifted my head from the car door. My face had lines and small indents from dozing off on the lengthy car ride. I looked outside to the small restaurant, face lighting up with excitement as I saw where we were.
"No way, I've always wanted to come here. How did you know?"
I turned to him, a questioning expression appearing on my face. He smiled, rubbing the lines on my face. "You're so pretty." His fingers slowly sliding down my face, his hand making its way to my throat, holding ever so slightly, his fingers teasing my skin.
"Is this supposed to intimidate me?"
"Is it working?"
 He looked at my lips, then back up at me again, smirking while leaning in, his hand trailing up my thigh. "A little."
"Um, Excuse me. This is not a valid parking spot..."
I quickly turned around, Jaehyun's hand releasing from my neck as we looked at the traffic officer standing outside the window. "You can't even park right?" I laughed as he found a new parking space, rolling his eyes with a smile.
"So..."
He sat in front of me, circling the rim of his water with his finger. "So..." I hummed, looking at him from across the table as he sat awkwardly. "What do you want to know?" I took a sip from my cup, my eyes squinting slightly as the tartness of the juice hit my lips.
"I want to know more about you."
"My name is Y/n, I'm from France, but moved here for college, and I'm the only child of my parents, and the only daughter born into my family. Anything else?"
He made a small smile, looking down at the table before looking back up at me. "Why do you keep a postcard of this place with you." I tensed up in my seat, looking down playing with my fork before taking another sip of juice.
"Because my mom gave it to me, it was her favorite place here."
"Oh she lives here? Where is she?"
Jaehyun said, finally taking a sip of the water he's been eyeing. I looked at him, my head tilting slightly as I raised my eyebrows. It's getting on my nerves how oblivious he's trying to act in front of my face like I'm stupid.
"She's dead, the Koreans got to her, you probably know them right?"
"I've heard a little about them, but not too much, I'm so sorry about that Y/n."
I looked at him, taking a sip from my juice.
"An apology isn't gonna bring her back Jaehyun-"
"WOOOO."
We broke eye contact suddenly, the waiter coming up to us with the food. "Thank you." He hummed, as I smiled enthusiastically, grabbing my utensils.
"There's a party I want to go to tonight."
He looked at his plate, scooping food up into his fork. "Mmm." He hummed, looking up at me. "We're going." I spoke in a demanding tone as he silently finished his food. I looked at him, finishing the last spoonful on my plate. He nodded, looking up at me. "I think you're a bit too old for parties, but hey." He looked up at me, a blank look on his face, placing a hundred dollar bill on the table to pay for the food, getting up pushing his chair in.
"First of all, I'm only 23, second it's an adult party, 21+ at a hotel so don't do that."
I said, following him outside, the cool air chilling my cheeks. "Ok well, I don't feel like getting into another gun fight so please, make sure it's safe."  He said as he opened the passenger door to the car for me, his eyes following me as I got in. "I can hire another bodyguard if you don't feel like it" I looked up at him, his hand resting on the top of the car door, his eyebrows raising up as he rolled his eyes.
"Shut up."
"Make me."
I looked up at him, a sly smirk appearing on my face like the one from last night, our eyes locking. "The same way I made you last night?" I turned into the car, looking away silently as he shut the door, getting into the drivers side and driving away, going back home.
Hours passed and the sun started to set as I got ready in front of the mirror, slipping on my black dress, struggling to zip up the back.
"Jaehyun, can you help me with this?"
I asked from inside the bathroom. He walked into the bathroom standing behind me as I looked at him from the mirror. "Can you help me with my zipper." I said, his hands finding the zipper on my dress, his fingers slightly brushing my bare back as he pulled it up slowly, looking at me through the mirror after. "Thanks." I smiled, completing the finishing touches to my lips, looking at Jaehyun still staring at me from the mirror.
"What?"
"It's just taking everything in me to not bend you over on this sink right now."
I looked at him before turning around. "Get a grip." I playfully hit his chest, pushing past him. "Plus you need to get dressed anyways."
"Ok whatever." He said as I smiled, slipping on my shoes at the door.
We made it to the hotel, the dining room a beautiful champagne color with crystal chandeliers. The last time I've been to a party like this was when I was living back at home, so yeah, a pretty long time.
"Oh my goodness I know that's not Y/n."
I heard, the blonde girl standing in front of me. "Hi, long time no see Emily." I sat there with a forced smile, hugging her gently as a man stood behind her. "This is my husband John." She pointed behind her as he gave a smug smile, waving before standing behind her quietly again. "Four years married," she smiled at me. "I must ask, are you married yet Y/n, I know you had a rough time with relationships in college?"
"No, I'm far too young you know. I know you started college late so it's not absurd for you to be married right now, but I'm exploring life."
She gave me a passive aggressive smile, nodded slowly as she took a sip from her champagne glass. "Oh ok I see, you know I was traveling the world before I went to college so I get what you mean, and do you have a job or are you still using your families money?"
"Oh my family has me under control. Speaking of families did your's finally pay your gambling debt, or did you do that on your own?”
Her eyes widened slightly before a forced grin appeared on her face. "Oh Y/n, I think this handsome gentleman behind you is trying to get through."
I looked behind me, Jaehyun standing there looking down at me, his suit fitting him almost perfectly as his bangs hung over his forehead.
"Oh no my dear, he's with me."
I smugly smiled, grabbing his arm, linking mine with his. "Oh really, wow im happy for you y/n... Well I'll leave you two to it, it was nice to see you again." She smiled before turning away, greeting other guest.
I rolled my eyes, turning to Jaehyun as he sat there with an awkward expression on his face. "I can't stand her Jae." I smiled as I rubbed his arm, the feeling of his soft, matte, velvet suit leaving small tingles on my fingers.
"I have to use the bathroom ." He smiled.
"Should I come with you?" I asked.
He shook his head no, before disappearing into the crowd. I sat there for a second quietly, holding my purse tightly in my hand as nothing but people's conversations erupted on all sides of me.
"Y/n?"
I heard from behind me, rolling my eyes slowly not wanting another tense interaction with an old peer. I turned around, forcing another smile yet again, before it dropped, my eyes widening. He was very well put together, a black blazer that almost fit him perfectly, like it was designed just for him. His hair was jet black, messily slicked back.
"Doyoung?!"
I pulled him into a hug smiling, looking into his beautiful crystal eyes as they sparkled. "I thought that was you, how have you been?" He gave a comforting smile.
"Oh I've been good, how have you been?" Before he could answer we were interrupted by Jaehyun.
"Who is this?"
He handed me a drink, looking at him with a smile, then back at me. "Omg this was like my best friend ever in college before I went back home."
"I'm Doyoung." He looked at Jaehyun with a smile, shaking his hand, Jaehyun nodding. "How about we go to the hotel bar so we can catch up without any noise?" Doyoung suggested, looking at me as I nodded in response.
We went to go sit at the bar, Doyoung asking for a vodka on the rocks. "That's a pretty strong drink, do you have a ride home?" I questioned, taking a sip of my margarita, Jaehyun sitting beside me with a sprite.
"Don't be foolish Y/n, I wouldn't drink and drive. I have a hotel room here tonight." He smiled, his eyes squinting close as he swallowed the alcohol, his nose scrunching up. "You're still as cute as I remember when you drink Doyoung."
"Um, I'm here too." Jaehyun cleared his throat as I turned back to look at him.
"Shh, I haven't seen him in forever, let us speak." I turned back to Doyoung, smiling as he chuckled slightly.
"So how have you been Doyoungie, I've missed you." His cheeks flushed light pink for a second as he smiled.
"Well, I've been pretty good, I've visited your home country Canada, and I literally could only think of you the whole time I was there." I smiled, finishing up my margarita, turning to Jaehyun giving him a small smile before turning back.
"I'm honored, I remembered you've always wanted to go there too, I'm happy for you. How's your relationship, are you still with that same girl?" He smiled, resting his hands on his crotch area, laying back in his chair comfortably.
"No, she wanted to break up after she found out we kissed."
"Are you serious? Y'all weren't even together yet."
He did a small laugh, fishing his wallet out of his pocket, placing a crisp 50 dollar bill on the bar counter.
"She thought we hooked up after, I told her we didn't, but she took it upon herself to not believe me." I raised my eyebrows, an astonished expression appearing on my face. "I cant even imagine hooking up with you."
"Let me show you."
The eyes that were once sparkly and doe'd were now darkened and sharp. "Hm?" I looked at him, trying to make sure I heard what he said correctly, or in the right context.
"Let me show you how it is to hook up with me." His voice was husky and low almost in a faint whisper.
I looked beside me to see Jaehyun glued to his phone, not removing his eyes from his screen. "What, you want him to join in? Ask, I like to try new things." He signaled for the bartender, asking for a pen and paper, writing down his hotel room number, sliding it to me.
"Come up when you've made up your mind." He said, slipping away from the bar.
I stood there still, not knowing what to do, getting knocked out of my thoughts by Jaehyun tapping on my shoulder.
"So are we going?"
He said, making me turn around to face him. "Hm?" I said, trying to pull that same card with him. "Going up to his hotel room?" His voice was possessive as he looked at me with stipulating eyes, basically demanding an answer instantly.
"Do you want to?"
"Mmm," He hummed teasingly, reaching to me, grabbing the sheet of paper out of my hand, examining it.
"I know you want to mama, so why are you asking me."
He got up from the bar stool, grabbing my waist helping me up, his dark eyes almost speaking for themselves as I made eye contact with him.
"Keep looking at me like that and I'm gonna fuck you before we even get up there." I stayed quiet, looking forward as he followed me to the elevator.
I stood there awkwardly, waiting for him to come to door, Jaehyun standing behind me.
"Oh you're here, and I'm assuming he said yes?"
He stood at the doorway, that solid black blazer turning into a sheer black one, his black pants sitting perfectly on his waist.
"Speak mama."
Jaehyun said, our bodies practically touching as his hands caressed my waist ever so slightly.
"Yea, mhm." I said, Doyoung's eyes sparkling for a second, going back to its dark demeanor immediately after.
"Well, come in." He said, shutting the door behind me and Jaehyun, leading us to the bedroom.
It was dark, nothing but dimmed blue lights lit the room. That was strange for a hotel room, but before I could even question it further I was knocked out of my thoughts by the zipper of my dress being pulled down.
"We're gonna take good care of you princess." Doyoung said in front of me, slowly pulling my dress off my shoulders.
Jaehyun gently kissed my shoulders, slowly making it to the sides of my neck. "Let me." Doyoung told Jaehyun, causing him to get from behind me. Doyoung pushed me onto the tv stand, getting on his knees in front of me as he slid the rest of my dress, along with my underwear off. Jaehyun grabbed my feet, removing my shoes as Doyoung planted kisses on my leg, slowly making his way up to my thigh.
I rested my hands on tv stand to keep myself balanced as he grabbed my hips, pulling me closer to him.
"You're already soaked Y/n, we've barely touched you." Doyoung said, teasing my folds with his fingers, causing me to suck in a sharp breath.
"Do you want it?" Doyoung questioned, his voice vibrating into my thigh, sending shivers up to my spine.
"Mhm."
My voice was desperate as I closed my eyes, his tongue entering my hole abruptly. Every time he went in deeper his nose made friction with my clit, causing  swift moans out of me. His mouth made his way to my clit, sucking and licking passionately, placing a finger into my hole.
"Fuck." I moaned out, wanting to say more, but my words getting choked up on pleasure. I looked up at Jaehyun, his eyes wandering over my body as he watched what unfolded in front of him. He placed another finger in, speeding up his pace as my arousal coated his fingers, his tounge attacking my clit.
"Oh fuck, that feels so good Doyoung. I'm almost there."
I whined out, the sounds of my moans, whimpers, and the mess he was making on my lower half sounded in the room as I threw my head back, gripping Doyoung's now completely messy hair.
He let out small moans and noises that vibrated on my clit, causing me to let out panting moans as he fingered me harshly. "Fuck, I'm there." My body stiffened as I let out a choked moan, Doyoung finishing off, looking at me as he wiped the arousal that was left on his chin.
"Fuck, so messy y/n."
He got off his knees, taking a seat beside Jaehyun on the bed, shining him a sarcastic smirk causing jaehyun to get up. He smiled, walking behind me, trailing his fingers across my collar bone leading to the back of my neck. I looked at Doyoung, his eyes dark, as he titled his head sideways slightly.
"I bet I can make you feel better." Jaehyun whispered in my ear before pushing me down, making my face fall into Doyoung's lap.
 I looked up at him to be met with a cold gaze, his hands rubbing over my head, making their way to my face, cupping and squeezing my cheeks forcing my mouth open. "You wanna do something for me princess?" His free hand made its way to his pants, forcefully unzipping them, taking out his member as I looked up at him.
Jaehyun grabbed my hands, placing them behind my back, causing my face to fall further into Doyoung's lap, my back arcing slightly. I tried to remove my hands from Jaehyun's grasp so I could use them on Doyoung, but he pushed them down, holding my wrist tightly together.
"I'm sure your pretty mouth can do well by itself." Doyoung hummed, placing his fingers on my chin causing my head to lift up.
Doyoung looked down at me, opening his mouth slightly, a small twinkle appearing in his eye as I sat my tongue on the bottom of his shaft, lifting my head as my tongue dragged up to his tip. I circled my tongue around the top as I felt Jaehyun at my entrance, teasing my hole. I let out a few shuddered breaths, Doyoung's hands finding their way to my head, softly grabbing and pulling.
"Fuck." Jaehyun cursed as he pushed into me, causing me to let out a whiny moan. I tried to look back at Jaehyun to see what he was doing, but failed when Doyoung turned my head back to his his.
Jaehyun started to pick up the pace, moving aimlessly as he went deeper making perfect thrust causing loud moans out of me. I looked up at Doyoung his eyes on my face as I lifted my head, making my back arch even more. The feeling of my hands being pressed against my back making me almost weak.
"Don't be selfish now."
I took no time setting my mouth on his tip, but this wasn't good enough for him. Doyoung pushed down my head further, my throat tightening around his length causing him to let out a desperate moan. As my head bobbed up and down on Doyoung, Jaehyun made harder thrust making my moans and the loud noises coming from my throat vibrate around Doyoung, causing him to shiver as he gripped my hair tighter.
"Shit Y/n." Doyoung whimpered out, throwing back his head as he let out small moans.
"And don't you dare come until I tell you to Y/n"
I heard Jaehyun curse from behind me, his pace now at an unimaginable speed as I cried out muffled moans around Doyoung's length. Jaehyun let out panting moans as his thrust started to get sloppier by the minute. Doyoung was no better as he let out loud cries and curses.
"I'm there Y/n." Doyoung whimpered out, his dick twitching inside my mouth, his hands grabbing my hair tighter in a way that made sure it didn't hurt. He pulled me off of him, releasing on my face as his liquid dripped down.
"So pretty baby." He smiled, rubbing the tears he created off my eyes.
My moans took no time to escape my mouth as Jaehyun did a few more rough thrust causing him to finish.
"Fuck." 
He cursed, removing himself out of me. I took a few deep breaths, looking at Doyoung, his attention gearing towards Jaehyun.
"Where the fuck did you get a condom from?"
Jaehyun looked up at him, shrugging as he threw the used rubber in the trash can.
"Did he make you come baby?" Doyoung looked down at me as I shook my head no.
"Aw, do you want to come baby?"
He looked up at Jaehyun then back down at me as I nodded.
"Would you like me to use a condom too princess?"
He said, helping me up on the bed, my back hitting the cold sheets as my head laid on a pillow. I nodded again causing Doyoung to turn back to Jaehyun again, raising his eyebrows as he put out his hand in command, signaling for Jaehyun to hand him a rubber.
"I don't want to watch this, I'll be out in the living room when you're done y/n." Jaehyun looked at me, grabbing his pants as he headed out to the living room, shutting the door behind him.
"Well."
Doyoung turned around to face me, ripping the condom packaging open with his teeth. He got on top of me, kissing me on the neck slowly, making his way down to my collar bone.
"You're so pretty." He whispered, entering his length into me fully, causing a tired moan out of me.
"Fuck." I moaned out as he went in and out of me, going deeper everytime. "So pretty." He whispered into my cheek, one of his hands on my waist, the other holding my hand beside my head. I let out loud moans as my skin flushed from all the pleasure. My other hand found its way to his hair, tugging as his thrust started to get faster and rougher.
"How does this feel?" He questioned, his voice was breathless, rustier, deeper making the pleasure far more intense.
"Good, I'm almost there." I whined out.
I was reaching my high as he hit my g-spot, causing me to clench around him. He let out a loud whimper, his thrust getting sloppier as he moaned into my neck, his breath leaving tingles along my skin. My legs started to shake violently under him as I felt him smile into my skin.
"This is all for you princess."
He said, looking at me, placing a passionate kiss on my lips as we both reached our highs.
“Wow." He said as we sat there for a second, his dick twitching inside of me.
"Are you going straight home or would you like to freshen up?" He said, exiting out of me, rolling beside me on the bed.
"I'll freshen up real quick."
He nodded, helping me to the bathroom, shutting the door after he handed me a towel and washcloth.
I got dressed after my quick shower, walking out the bathroom to see Doyoung sitting on the bed with his phone in his hand, looking quite frustrated as he fiddled with it.
He turned to me, turning his phone and throwing it quickly away from him.
"I'll walk you out." He forced a smile, grabbing my waist, helping me into the living room.
"Took long enough." Jaehyun said, sitting on the couch. "You ready to go mama?"
He said, getting up, grabbing his keys as I nodded.
"Oh wait, here." Doyoung said, causing me to turn around. He grabbed a piece of paper and a pen, writing something down before handing it to me.
"Call if you need anything ok, it was a Joy having you here tonight Y/n, and uh you." He gave a displeased look to Jaehyun before looking back at me smiling.
"You too Doyoungie." I smiled before walking out the door behind Jaehyun.   
—————————————————————————————
Jaehyun.
—————————————————————————————
“I have to step out real quick."
I grabbed my keys from the nightstand, going to the door, slipping on my shoes. I turned to her, her pretty doe eyes staring daggers into mines innocently.
"What?" I said, grabbing my coat.
"Can I come with you Jae?" She questioned, smiling as she got up from the bed, meeting me at the door like it was more of a command than a question. "Um, I don't know Y/n." I said, opening the door, eyeing her as she put her shoes on, grabbing a jacket and scarf.
"I'm coming with you." She smiled, following me outside to the car, getting in the passengers side without any second thought.
I pulled out my phone, sending a text message before pulling off. I looked to my side for a second, Y/n leaning on the car door, her eyes reflecting the moonlight as they sparkled when she looked out the window.
I grinned, turning back to the road, pulling up to a bar.
"Stay here, do not move Y/n, I mean it."
She looked at me, nodding with a smile before looking away, resting her head on the car door again. I took a small deep breath, getting out the car, locking it behind me before making my way to the side of the bar, sitting at a table, trying to get comfortable in the bar stool.
"I got your favorite, Whiskey sour." He slid the drink to me. I raised my eyebrows in appreciation as I took a sip.
"It was clever to host a party like that Doyoung." He smiled, taking a sip from his drink.
"I know, you've never been the brains in the operations I can say."
"Ouch." I laughed, wiping the corner of my mouth as he adjusted the collar on his black shirt.
"You owe me, that party came out of my bank account, a hefty penny." Doyoung took a bite out of the mozzarella sticks that sat in the middle of the table, as we laughed at the foolish statement.
"I do have some bad news though," Doyoung spoke.
"The video we took at the hotel corrupted, so all the footage is gone."
I looked at him, my face in daze as I leaned forward in interest. "Oh god? Guess we don't have anything to lure her dad in with. I'm sure we can try again, she's just as gullible as her damn mother." Doyoung giggled, taking a sip of his drink.
"Why did she look back at you when we were talking about Canada?" He questioned, his elbow resting on the table.
"Oh, she told me where she was actually from, she probably looked back at me to see if I spotted the lie." I smiled, taking another sip from my drink.
"She's probably not scared anymore, when we became friends it was in the middle of the whole fight so."
"Was it your plan to befriend her all along?" I said, swirling my straw in the drink, mixing what ever was left with the the ice cubes.
"No, it was actually a coincidence, I thought she was really pretty and had a crush on her," he laughed "By the time I figured out who she was, she was already gone."
I nodded, my face turning into one of realization as I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. "You were talking about her when we spoke on the phone?"
"Yes Jaehyun, I told you it was her like a thousand times remember, we were so in shock." I looked down, looking back up at him with a small smile.
"Yea I remember now."
"Why, do you think I should ask her out? My dad would kill me." He laughed, leaning back in his chair, grabbing the last mozzarella stick.
"No please don't, she's literally a slut, we hooked up like first night."
His eyes got wide as a smile circled around the mozzarella stick he was eating. He finished it off, his immense smile slowly fading smaller.
"Wait what?" His voice was a little cracked, his smile a little broken as he looked at me. The sparkle in his eyes could make anyone not want to hurt him, even his greatest enemy.
"Yeah, she's a little crazy." I laughed nervously, tapping the table with my finger tips.
"Yeah," he giggled.
"But why would you do that?" He looked at me, his eyes squinting slightly as he titled his head. "Well, she wanted to, and I was bored so I just did it. Plus I got to take her out to breakfast the next morning and find out more personal information about her."
"And what did you find out?" Doyoung said, his face getting far more agitated as I spoke calmly.
"Well she told me she was from France, and that her mom got killed— by us."
"So she told you stuff you already knew."
I gulped, looking at him timidly as I nodded. "Yea."
"So you hooked up and then took her on a date after I told you I liked her."
I looked down, staying completely silent as his upset aura soundlessly hit me in a way that hurt more than any physical punch.
"Doyoung." I said, following him as he got up from the table, walking to the alley behind the bar lighting a cigarette.
"Jaehyun, please get away from me. I am going to freak out on you."
"Doyoung I swear it was nothing."
He leaned on the wall, pushing the bud of the cigarette on the cold concrete of the bar.
"You know, you've always gotten everything you've wanted since we were kids, it's not fair." He looked up at me, his face full of indignation.
"Doyoung, it's not that serious I swear."
"But it is though. I want what I want too— I want something to myself, without having to share."
I looked at him, trying to make the conversation less daunting. "I'm the reason you even got to hook up with her in the first place, be grateful."
"Oh thanks for the handout Jaehyun, Im really grateful you left your leftovers for me." He walked up to me, an unsettling feeling washing over my body as I looked into his eyes that have now turned completely dark and cold.
"You give yourself way too much damn credit Jaehyun, in all reality you're just an asshole that only cares for yourself."
He was about to say something else, but choked on his words; rolling his eyes before walking away from me.
"Doyoung relax you can't even date her so I don't get what the big deal is." I shouted to him, my words getting choked up as regret and guilt spewed into my brain.
"You just don't get it do you." He paused, turning around to face me, his eyes filled of sorrow, voice shaky as he gave me a pitiful look.
"I'm sorry I said that Doyoung, I really am, but don't let something like this ruin our friendship."
"I was never your friend Jaehyun—" he took a deep breath, his eyes turning back cold.
"In fact, I hate you."
He reached into his pocket, pulling out an all black matte gun.
"Don't say that Doyoung, no you don't." I looked at the gun, then back up at him.
"I hate you, a lot. I wish my dad would've left you in that alleyway." He pointed the gun at me, his finger methodically finding its way to the trigger.
"Please, put the gun down. I'm sorry Doyoung, please just put it down. I won't do anything with her again."
"Oh I know." He sarcastically smiled.
"Goodbye Jaehyun— Fuck you."
I felt a sharp pain in my stomach, covering it up with my hands as I looked down, blood covering my fingers. I looked back up at him, a shocked expression on his face like he didn't think he would do it either.
I fell to the ground, looking up to the night sky, holding my wound taking it in as I got lightheaded.
"Jaehyun." A familiar voice rung in my ears as I just laid, ignoring it. I felt someone lift my head up and a tight pressure on my lower abdomen.
"Jaehyun it's gonna be ok, just look at me, you're gonna be ok." I saw Y/n's face ever so slightly, my vision blurring slowly as I fell weaker. "HELP!" I heard her scream over and over again, my vision getting weaker as the sounds surrounding me started to fade as well.
I looked to the stars again, closing my eyes slowly till everything was dark and I couldn't hear anymore.
—————————————————————————————
"He lost a lot of blood, but he's in surgery now and there's a very high chance that he will survive."
I looked at the doctor from my seat. My eyes were nearly shut as I sat there with my leg shaking anxiously.
"How long till I can see him?" I questioned, my voice raspier than usual.
"Let me go check on that for you Miss." I nodded, taking out my phone. I took a piece of paper out of my pocket, examining it before typing the digits into my keypad. The phone rang for a few seconds then I heard his voicemail.
"Hi this is Doyoung! I can't come to the phone right now but keep a look out because I'll call you back soon. Bye-bye!"
I took a deep breath, looking at the floor before hearing foot steps approaching me.
"Hi ma'am, it should just be two more hours and then you'll be able to see him. Can I get you anything while you wait?"
"No thank you." I smiled numbly, resting my head on my head as I dozed off slowly.
"Ma'am?"
I heard as I woke up a bit disturbed. The unpleasant feeling of the hospital lights shining in my eyes making me grumpy.
"Ma'am. He's out of surgery, you can follow me up to his room." The nurse said, looking at me with a slightly concerned look on her face. I followed her to his room, his eyes closed as he peacefully laid on the hospital bed.
“I know you’re probably tired so I’ll talk to you in the morning Miss…?”
“Y/n.” I smiled, my eyes puffy as she gave me a sympathetic smile, shutting the door behind her as she left the room. I looked back at him, walking to the hospital bed, biting my lip uncomfortably as I looked at him.
“I’m glad he didn’t leave you in that alleyway.” I whispered, half of me hoping he heard me, but the other half hoping he didn’t, hoping he didn’t find out what I was keeping from him in this way.
“I’m glad.”
I rubbed his cold, soft hand before finding my way to the couch that sat beside the bed. I laid, placing my jacket over my body as I looked at Jaehyun, the only thing moving was his chest as I followed the rhythm of his breathing with my tired eyes, dozing off soon after on the uncomfortable couch.
—————————————————————————————
To be continued …🎀
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Authors note- hi again! Sorry to leave you on a cliff hanger, but I will be going on a short break. When I come back the whole story will be posted, please feel free to dm me or comment if you would like to be tagged in part 2! I’m gonna say it again, but obviously their personalities are for the plot and I DO NOT think they are like this, or would do this. I hope you liked part 1 my loveys can’t wait to post part 2 for you🩷!
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janaispunk · 3 months
Text
end game
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series masterlist • this is part VII
pairing: Dave York x f!reader
word count: ~3.8k
summary: Heartbreak, an explanation and an epilogue.
warnings/tags: explicit smut (-> 18+ only!), angst, feelings, heartbreak, depression, mention of weight loss, fluff, able-bodied reader, reader has hair, dom!Dave, sub!reader, sir kink, degradation kink, fingering, unprotected p in v (it's never stated in the fic but i headcanon that reader is on birth control), basically free use kink, rough sex, dirty talk, spanking, spit kink, praise kink, Dave is a menace, praise kink, idiots in love, please let me know if i missed anything!
a/n: the biggest thank you to @joelscurls for letting me scream about this again and againnnnn, and reading over my drafts countless times, you’re the best, jess! <3
thank you to @daddy-dins-girl for talking plot holes with me and motivating me to write <3
thank you to everyone who has read and loved this series, i have received sooooo many kind words, feedback and just so much love. i started writing this as a pwp oneshot and the fact that it has turned into my first series ever and one that i had soooo much fun with is wild. i’m incredibly emotional about saying goodbye to my babies, maybe i’ll revisit them when i need to write some kinky shit out of my system haha. i hope that you like the ending that i’ve built for them.
a few words about the plot: i actually have zero clue how the hitman business works (shocker, i know), so some parts of this are purposefully vague in a way that i hope is believable and somewhat realistic. just roll with it, thanks :D
dividers as always by @saradika-graphics 🫶🏻
find my full masterlist here & follow @janaispunknotifs for fic updates.
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The first week you don’t hear from Dave, you’re confused, but not necessarily worried yet. There have been weeks of silence in the past, though you’ll admit that you had thought that things might be… different now.
Your texts to him stay on delivered, never switching to read. Which has also happened before, especially when he was away on business, but still… The thought that he has gone back to his normal life without sparing as much as a glance back at your time together is nagging at you.
You can still feel his hands on your skin, can still hear him whisper in your ear how beautiful you look, how perfect you are for him. It’s hard to come to terms with the thought that it wasn’t real, that his words and actions didn’t hold the same weight for him that they did for you. Reality has finally caught up to you and it hurts.
When two weeks blend into three weeks and you’ve still heard nothing, you start getting worried. He had said his line of work was dangerous, after all.
Your conversation, still so close and yet a lifetime ago, echoes in your mind. 'Nothing's gonna happen,’ you had said. ‘Not to the girls, not to me. And not to you.’ And not to you. ‘You don’t know that, sweetheart,’ his voice rings through your head. Sweetheart. The word tastes bitter on your tongue and wraps itself around your chest until you feel like you’re choking with it, like you can’t draw breath into your lungs anymore.
Sweetheart.
You don’t know that.
Sweetheart.
You start looking him up online, to find anything that might at least tell you that he’s okay. You don’t want to believe that he would be cruel enough to ghost you, but you barely dare to consider the alternative. You find nothing, no mention of his name, like he doesn’t even exist.
Your calls stay unanswered, your messages stay unread. You find yourself subconsciously checking your texts and your emails countless times a day, catch yourself staring out of your window in the blind hope that he might appear outside. He wouldn’t just leave you like this, would he? Would he?
Days blur into weeks and eventually into months. You’re painfully aware that it’s not healthy, this kind of heartbreak, especially not over a relationship that never even meant anything. If only your heart would understand that.
It was never serious enough that you told any of your friends about it, never wanted to be labeled as the girl that sleeps with married men, never wanted to admit your feelings to someone else when you could barely admit them to yourself. Regardless, even without knowing what exactly was going on, your friends had tried to be there for you, to convince you to go out with them, to cheer you up, but you had turned them down often enough that on this Friday night, your phone stays silent.
It’s better this way. All you want to do is rot away on your couch, staring at the TV with unseeing eyes until it’s an acceptable time to go to bed. Maybe it won’t take you hours of lying in the dark to fall asleep tonight. Maybe it won’t remind you of a different kind of darkness in a different room, a room where the sound of waves against the shore and the deep breaths beside you lulled you to sleep.
You need to get yourself together, your inner voice whispers. Next week, you think. Or the one after that.
A knock on your door shakes you out of your thoughts and you pad over, expecting to be met with the Chinese takeout that you had ordered in hopes of fueling your appetite at least a bit with the prospect of comfort food. Absentmindedly, you note the surprisingly short delivery time. You barely look up as you swing the door open, busy fiddling with your purse to extract a few dollar bills.
After finally managing to pull them out, you face the doorway. A greeting dies in your throat.
Familiar deep brown eyes burn into yours, framed by the face that you wish you’d forget but can’t. The short brown hair, the clean shaven jawline that you can still feel underneath your fingertips, the memory all too fresh in your mind. He looks tired, you think, and instantly scold yourself for knowing him well enough to even notice.
The seconds tick by as you motionlessly stare at him, blinking slowly, your mind running a mile a minute. Why is he here? He can’t be here. Are you making this up? If so, things are far worse than you had thought.
He clears his throat, shifting his weight uncomfortably. It’s probably the least sure of himself that you’ve ever seen him.
“Hey,” he murmurs, his hand twitching like he almost reached out to you but changed his mind. “Can I- can I come in?”
You regard him for a moment longer. The sound of his voice makes him appear more real, and the fog in your head slowly clears. He’s alive. He’s here. In front of your door. Alive and well. Your emotions boil up inside of you.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?! You think you can just show up here after months and ask if you can come in? I thought you were… I thought…”
Your voice betrays you, breaking at the sharp sting of pain in your chest that you’ve fruitlessly tried to suppress and the feeling of your throat closing up. Tears spill over and you furiously wipe at your cheeks, determined to keep some semblance of dignity.
“I know,” Dave breathes, defeatedly. “I’m so sorry. Please let me explain.” His hand reaches towards you again. You shy away from his touch and an expression of hurt ripples across his face. “Please, sweetheart.”
“Don’t call me that.”
Your voice only trembles a little as you snap at him. After another look at his face, you eventually step aside and jerk your head towards your living area. You briefly think about how messy the place is, for how many weeks you didn’t have it in yourself to clean up. You can’t bring yourself to care. Seeing him walk through your flat again after being so painfully aware of his absence leaves you almost dizzy. You take the opposite ends of your couch, both of your bodies stiff, careful not to touch one another.
“Okay,” you sigh. “Explain.”
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So he explains. How he received a call, barely thirty minutes after he stepped into his house, with a mission that was too perfect of an opportunity to pass it up. There had been no time to let you know, the risk too high to use his personal phone once he started working.
He goes back to the persona that took up half of his life for so long, the identity that is no more, the man that fell down a watchtower and was washed away by the sea. Body never found. At least that’s what everyone who knew this man thinks. Everyone who knew him, but not Dave York.
He’s been thorough with it, with the most important mission he’s ever done. There are no loose ends, no one who could trace things back to the real him.
It took longer than he had anticipated and he kept laying low afterwards, until he could be absolutely sure that no one would be looking for him anymore.
He doesn’t think that he’ll ever get rid of the worry, ever stop looking over his shoulder, but rationally, he knows that he did it. He got out.
Then he had talked to Carol, let her know that he wants a divorce. It had been- easy, almost. She didn’t cry, didn’t scream at him, just nodded like she had known this day would come for a long time. He thinks that she almost seemed relieved, in a way.
Your eyes had been glued to his face since he started speaking. Tears are silently running down your cheeks.
“I know that I should have found a way to contact you. I didn’t-” He sighs, running a hand over his face. “I didn’t know what to do. I was so worried that someone would find out about you. I never wanted to hurt you, you have to believe that.” He knows that he looks a mess, that his desperation to make you understand is written all over his features.
Every day that he didn’t call you, he knew that he was hurting you. He tried justifying it with himself, that having you think he left you was better than risking somebody coming after you. It never gave him much comfort.
It’s even worse, now that he sees the damage he had done. You have lost weight, deep circles have formed under your eyes and you move like you’re barely holding yourself together. He saw the panic on your face when he tried reaching for you at the door. No matter what he had done to you in the past, you always sought out the safety of his touch afterwards. Until now.
“Please believe me,” he whispers.
You study his face for what feels like a lifetime. Tears are glistening on your lashes. You look so tired, so defeated that it makes his heart ache.
“You’ve done it?” you finally ask. Your voice is a quiet thing, barely bridging the distance between the two of you. A flicker of hope rings with it. “You’re safe now?”
He nods silently, fighting the urge to gather you in his arms, to promise you that he’ll always be there from now on. A small smile curves your lips upward as you mirror his nod, like you’re trying to let this new reality sink in.
“That’s good,” you murmur.
You lean forward, your fingers tentatively closing around his fist that’s clenched tightly against his thigh.
Hope flickers inside his chest. He can taste the three words that he’s been wanting to say to you for far too long on the tip of his tongue. He’s not going to, not right now, not today. But someday soon, he thinks that he might.
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Two years later
“Bye girls, say hi to your mom and Matt from me,” you smile, embracing each of them in a tight hug before they dash out of the door, a jumble of giggles and excited chatter. Dave trails behind them with a grin on his face, pecking your lips and calling out for them to slow down.
Your heart is full, overflowing with love for this family that, against all odds, has become yours. You watch Dave usher his daughters into the car and push the doors closed behind them, the smile still on your lips. As you walk back into the house, your eyes linger on the thin silver band adorning your ring finger.
It’s still new, still an unexpected sight when you catch it on the edge of your periphery. It’s the tangible proof of you being the happiest you’ve ever been.
Things had been rough at first, after Dave came back to you. You understood why he handled the situation the way he did, but it took you a long time to trust that he wouldn’t disappear again. To believe that he left his old life behind, that he chose you. But he did.
You busy yourself with cleaning up the inevitable chaos that having the girls over for Dave’s days with them always creates. It’s not the life that you would have expected yourself to have a few years ago, but right now, it feels like you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be.
A few minutes later, your phone pings with a message from Dave.
Be back in 15. I expect you naked and on your knees waiting by the door.
You bite your lip, heat building inside you with rapid speed. Your phone pings again.
Don’t disappoint me.
Fuck. Wetness is already gathering between your legs as you jump into action.
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The car door slamming shut has never sounded so good before. You’re listening intently, catching Dave’s heavy footsteps on the stairs and the jingle of his keys before the door opens beside where you’re kneeling.
You look up at him from your place on the floor, watching the mix of smugness and adoration on his face as he takes in your position. A shudder runs through you and your nipples harden under his demanding gaze. He steps closer, caressing your cheek.
“Such a good girl… my obedient little wife, aren’t you?”
“Yes, sir,” you whimper, the coherent thoughts slowly draining from your brain and craving more of his touch, more of him.
He smiles down at you, his eyes glinting predatorily. You’ve come to know this shift into the darkness since you first met, but it’s more playful these days, not laced with the urgency that possessed him back then. Still, he gets intense, especially after having the girls over forces you to keep things rather tame during those days.
“Show me your ass, face on the ground, come on,” he demands coldly.
You obey without question, turning around and bending forward, pressing your upper body down to the floor and presenting your backside to him. He lands a couple of slaps on your cheeks and you flinch, moaning out softly. Your pussy already feels slick with arousal.
“What do you say?” he asks, rubbing his hand over the heated skin.
“Thank you, sir,” you whisper.
Another slap hits you. “Do you know what you did to deserve this?”
You wrack your brain for a few moments, but come up blank.
“I- no, sir.” Your voice is small and breathy, your body bracing for the impact of his hand again.
He chuckles. “Nothing. I just felt like it.” Another slap. “And you’re mine to do as I please, isn’t that right?” Your thighs are trembling. You’re so wet that it feels like you’re dripping onto the floor.
“Yes, sir. Thank you.”
“You know what’s the most fucked up about this?” He crouches down beside your face and strokes your cheek softly, smiling down at you. “How much you whore like it.”
He straightens up and heads for the stairs. “Bedroom, come on.”
You don’t even try standing up, knowing that he won’t let you, and crawl behind him, which earns you another chuckle and a “good girl”.
The image of your naked form on your knees behind Dave who hasn’t removed a stitch of clothing sends another bolt of arousal through you. You’re desperate for him to touch you.
He roughly lifts you up and manhandles you onto the bed until you’re spread out underneath him.
“So…” He grabs your wrists and holds them over your head, pressing them into the mattress. “These stay right here, you hear me? Don’t move, or do I have to restrain you?”
You pout at the prospect of not being allowed to put your hands on him, but obediently hold them in place when he eases his grip on you. “I’ll be good, I promise.”
He grins down at you. “I know you will. Got my girl well trained, haven’t I?”
His words make your pussy clench around nothing and your “yes, sir” comes out in a whimper.
He leans in closer, spreading your thighs wider with his body and you force yourself not to buck your hips up against him. The craving for any part of him to touch you, for any kind of friction, is overwhelming.
“Please, sir,” you whisper. Your pleading eyes hold his cold gaze as he’s leaning over you.
“Patience,” he growls. “Open your mouth.” A disapproving click of his tongue. “Wider.”
You part your lips as widely as you can, sticking your tongue out and trying not to squirm against the sheets. He remains motionless for a few seconds, taking in your desperate state with a cruel smirk on his face.
“Fuck,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you. Then he tips his head forward and spits into your waiting mouth. The filthy feeling of his saliva coating your tongue and filling your mouth almost drives you insane with want and you groan, shifting against his thick thighs between yours, but to no avail. You wait for his next command, your mouth still wide open, not daring to swallow before he tells you to.
But no command comes. Instead, he reaches up to press two fingers down on your tongue, dipping into your mouth and smearing your combined spit over your face. The silver band on his ring finger is cool against your skin and you shudder, loving the reminder that he’s really, entirely yours.
Your body feels like it’s burning up, your hands are twitching and you’re desperate to move them, to touch him, to do something, but you hold yourself still until he finally tells you to, “swallow, baby.”
He smiles and finds your lips for a surprisingly soft kiss, cupping your face in his hands. “You’re being so good,” he tells you gently. “Are you having fun?”
“Yes,” you smile, chasing his lips when he pulls back, but he tuts at you and you fall back against the bed, huffing out a breath. “Just… please.”
“Patience,” he reminds you, the softness gone as quick as it came. “Don’t make me tell you again.”
You bite your lip, but stay put while he stands up to finally start removing his clothes. He’s agonizingly slow with it, holding your hungry gaze while he unbuttons his shirt in unhurried movements that make you want to tear the clothes off his body yourself.
You drink him in, first the sight of his broad chest and his strong shoulders, then his muscular legs, and finally, making your mouth water and your pussy burn with desire, his cock.
As much as he keeps taunting you, you know him well enough by now to be able to tell that he’s just as desperate for you as you are for him, even when he’s trying to conceal it. He returns to you, sitting back on his haunches and drinking you in, until after what feels like hours, he finally reaches out and swirls his fingers through the wetness between your legs. It’s a barely there touch, but you’re so painfully turned on and sensitive that you let out a gasp.
“So fucking wet,” he marvels and applies the slightest bit of pressure to your clit. It’s enough to make you see stars and you’re sure that he could make you come just from this. But, of course he won’t. He laughs at your reaction and retracts his hand to lean forward instead until he’s on top of you again, your legs spread wide to accommodate him and his cock slides through your folds.
He lowers his head to nip and suck at the skin under your jaw, one hand toying with your breasts and your hardened nipples. Your whole body is buzzing, he’s so close and it’s so much, but it’s not enough, not enough, not enough.
“What do you want, baby?” he asks, peppering your skin with kisses and rocking his hips in small movements that make his cock nudge at your clit over and over.
“F-fuck me, please, I’ll do anything,” you beg, your body still obediently stretched out underneath him with your arms above your head. He nods wordlessly and reaches down to position himself at your soaking entrance.
“Be as loud as you want,” he growls against your neck. “I missed making you scream.”
He bites at your skin at the same time as his thrust into you punches the air from your lungs. You scream, just like he asked, as he hammers into you, his lips still attached to your neck, sucking and biting at the delicate skin. The sensation of finally being filled by him, of feeling the stinging stretch of the way he forcefully pounds into you is like heaven. You think that you’re talking, crying out a mix of his name and sir and please over and over.
You’re flying towards your climax and judging from his groans, he can already feel you tighten around him.
“Go ahead,” he groans, before you’ve even strung the words to ask for permission together in your mind. “Come for me, sweetheart.”
He pinches your nipple just once and the additional sensation is enough to send you flying, your pussy clenching around his cock and drenching him in your arousal as you scream out his name. It’s pure bliss, and you never want to come down.
“That’s it,” he growls, not slowing his movements, fucking you through the aftershocks until you’re a whining mess beneath him, “that’s my perfect girl, fuck-”
You force your eyes open to smile up at him, taking in the wrecked expression on his face, relishing in the knowledge that you’re the one to make him look like this. You just really wish you could touch him.
“P-please, can I-” you’re breathless, barely able to speak, and jerk your head towards your hands above you.
“Yeah,” he rasps, his thrusts somehow growing even more forceful, “do whatever you want, baby.”
Your hands fly towards his body, touching every inch of his skin that you can reach, nails digging into his back and fingers grasping at his hair, pulling him closer, closer, until he’s everywhere, all you can see, all you can taste, all you can feel.
“Fuck!” he swears, grabbing your shoulders and holding you in place as he’s pounding into you, “give me another one, touch yourself, come on-”
His thrusts are becoming erratic and you know that he’s close to his own climax. It only takes a few swipes of your fingers over your clit until you’re coming again, soaring through the heights of your pleasure, your whole body trembling with your release. Dave’s hips stutter and he comes with a shout, pulsing inside of your fluttering pussy until finally, you both still.
He drops his sweat-slicked forehead against your chest, peppering your skin with kisses and engulfing you in the warmth of his arms. After cleaning you up, he moves your bodies until you’re tucked against his side, one arm thrown across his chest while he holds you close.
You’ll never get tired of the feeling of his naked body against yours, of the way he feels like he was made for you. By now, you can admit that he had always felt like this.
“I love you,” he says, lips moving against your hair.
You press your face deeper into his neck. “I love you.”
It’s easy, now. Words that you say every day.
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…and i love YOU, thank you for reading! 🤍 if you liked this, a reblog or a comment would absolutely make my day.
195 notes · View notes
secondhand-snow · 3 months
Text
a body of impulses
chapter 2: feeling like unraveling
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lukas matsson x f!roy! reader (succession)
★ chapter 1 ★ | ★chapter 3★
wc: 9.0k+
warnings: super dysfunctional family, fluff first then angst, roman roy as his own warning, season 3 finale as its own warning, mentions of manipulation, drinking, smut, virgin!reader, inexperienced!reader, corruption kink (for real this time), dick pics, mention of phone sex, making out, dry humping/grinding, biting, pussyjobs, cum play/eating, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it!), aftercare, no use of y/n
summary: Lukas is amazing. He's tender, he's deviant, he's everything for you. But you're still worried, your family has never seen a beautiful thing that they haven't wanted to break.
author's note: chapter 2 is here, thank you for all the love on chapter 1! i hope you love it as much as i loved writing it ♡ be warned that this is heavy on the plot of episodes 3.08 and 3.09, so if you haven't watched the full show you may get a bit lost. please consider liking, commenting, or reblogging if you enjoyed!
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You have a tendency to get anxious when things are good for too long. A few weeks without a family fight, a month without a scandal, half a year without Kendall relapsing; nice things usually end in flames in your family. They make you superstitious, always looking around the corner for something to jump out and fuck everything up. So, when Lukas is good, you get scared. You expect some kind of backhand. A threat of blackmail, a tweet exposing your promiscuity, a package of anthrax at your door. 
It never comes.
He calls you every night, your timezone, not his. Listens to you talk about your day and doesn’t press when you can’t give him details on the company. He loves to send you pictures, just of him doing the most mundane things. Lukas on a Zoom meeting, Lukas working out, Lukas eating dinner. Together, you fall into something almost domestic. It’s still a secret. You don’t open his messages in public, stay far away from any conversations about him at work that could lead a blush to your face. But when has anything in your life been completely honest?
He’s been begging for a while now to fly you out to Sweden. You know it’s a risk you shouldn’t take at the moment, but you entertain him anyway. When you ask why he wants to see you so badly, he says he misses you. Then he says he wants to fuck you on his desk.
 That almost convinces you, and you’re about to start packing when a roadblock emerges. Your dad asks you to come with him and your siblings to Italy, for Caroline’s wedding. You hadn’t been planning on going, she wasn’t your mom and you didn’t have much of a relationship with her. In fact, you actually thought she secretly hated you, something to do with how quickly Logan married your mom after their divorce. Regardless, you didn’t want to go to the wedding. But when Logan Roy calls, you come. Always.
So the bags were repacked and you found yourself on a different private jet with your siblings, once again at the mercy of your family.
“She’s probably in sexual thrall to him. He’s driving her wild with his sugar dick.” Siobhan spoke matter of factly, completely oblivious to how absurd her words sounded. Still, it wasn’t the strangest conversation of hers you’d walked in on. “So there’s nothing we can do.”
 Roman was perched across the aisle from Tom and Shiv, sitting oddly in his seat, running his hand through his hair while he spoke. “All right, fine. Let him kill her for her emeralds and… screw us out of the fucking firm. See if I care.”
“Mommy issues?” You spoke up, setting your bag down on a free seat before moving to lean over the back of Shiv’s chair, kneeling on the seat behind it.
“Always. I didn’t know you were coming?” Rome turns to address you, eyebrows coming together in question.
“Dad drafted me. I think he just wants to terrorize Caroline with my presence.”
“I think you torment her enough by just existing. She doesn’t get to be the perfect mother of Logan Roy’s prodigal children.” Shiv pitched in, finally acknowledging your presence with a little smile.
“I don’t think I’m even invited to all the events. He’s just gonna have me working on the GoJo deal the whole time.”
“Oh! About the deal, I was talking to Karl and Frank-” Tom is addressing Roman more than you, but still gives you the courtesy of eye contact before your brother cuts him off. 
“Yeah, no, you’re not really a part of that. Either of you, actually.” Rome nods his head to the couple, a smirk on his face charged by his current power trip.
“Well, I am.” Shiv interjects, annoyed.
“Well, I can’t fire you yet Shiv, because I’m still a little bit scared of you. But, my thinking is, when I take over, I’m gonna put you in the office next to mine and you’re gonna be my sexy secretary.” You just shake your head at Roman’s comment while he turns to head back to his seat. 
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Siobhan is more irritated than really upset, going back to her phone as Roman leaves the conversation.
“I dunno. We’re working on it.” He taps the back on his legs in a rhythm before sitting down. “Ongoing process.”
You address Tom, seeing the confusion in his eyes that people tend to get when talking to your brother. “We’re just working on outlining terms. Honestly, Gerri would be better to ask for specifics. I don’t know how much Dad wants me to say.”
Tom just nods in thanks, which you return with a small smile before heading to your seat. You’re across the aisle from Roman, who’s already curled up and ready to nap on the flight. Taking out your phone, you see a new message from Lukas, covertly labeled in your phone with just an “L.” You turn the screen away from your company, making sure to not catch the reflection in the window as you open his text.
Stockholm is a 4 hour flight to Italy. 
Is it? I’ll be in the air for at least 10 hours.
10 hours without talking to you?
I think you can manage it.
I don’t know about Italy. I can’t be held responsible for what I do when I’m in the same country as you.
It’s a risk. 
Will there be a reward?
…I’ll text you when we land.
He sends a picture of himself doing a kissing face. You send a heart emoji in response, hiding your face with your hand to conceal your smile. 
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It turns out that you were invited to a few events of Lady Caroline’s wedding. Not the ceremony, of course, but at least you were allowed to attend the receptions leading up to it. You weren’t going to be cooped up in a hotel room all weekend, signing documents and having Facetime sex with your not-boyfriend. In fact, you ended up at one of these events just a little after your arrival, a garden party full of snobby aristocrats and expensive champagne. It’s too hot out for your liking, you're already sweating in your semi-formal sundress and downing your second glass of cold bubbly. 
You end up with Shiv, partially blocked from the sun by the shadow of her hat, quietly snickering at her and Tom’s jokes about a clueless cousin Greg. It’s surprisingly calm for one of your family gatherings, no shouting or challenging or worse. The tranquility snaps like a twig with a ding on your phones.
“Uh- Matsson…” Shiv speaks first, the two of you pulling out your phones simultaneously, her angling her screen to share it with Tom. A message from Karolina leads you to Matsson’s twitter page, and his latest tweet. It’s a goofy gif of his face with a Snapchat filter on it, the text reading ‘Going to Macao, feeling lucky.” You’re half excited, half alarmed. You don’t really know if you should believe it at first but, against your better judgment, you hope it’s true. Hope he’s just an hour or two from you, the closest he’s been in weeks.
 “What? Going to Macao? Feeling lucky?” Tom squints against the sun to see the Tweet before pulling out his own phone. “The fuck is that?”
“You get this thing from Karolina? It’s off the radar and now this? Is this- is it a move?” Gerri’s entrance is quick, followed closely behind by Roman. You open your mouth and close it again, not sure if your words will betray your duplicity.
“It, um, it could be…could be nothing, you know? Fucking social media fireworks!” Roman’s hand is threaded through his hair, the silver watch on his wrist glinting in the light.
“‘Going to Macao, feeling lucky.’” Gerri repeats the four words, she’s as flabbergasted as everyone in this little Waystar circle. Business has once again interfered with pleasure. “Is he trying to boost his price?”
“Is he just rocking the boat?” Shiv’s voice is unsure, wavering from her usual monotone state. “Or trying to blow up the deal? I mean, has he got good subscriber numbers coming in?”
“Maybe he’s just going to Macao and he’s feeling lucky.” Tom chimes in as Rome steps away from the group, phone pressed to his ear in a call you can’t fully hear.
“I mean, yeah… It’s not out of his archetype to post something like this.” You shrug, not sure what to contribute that hasn’t already been said. 
Roman finishes his call, turning back to you to speak. “I don’t know, it’s like, his thing. He’s a- a trickster.”
“Okay. Well, sounds cool. Is he gonna, like, steal our watches and fucking saw the deal in half?” Shiv’s getting upset, you know she likes control and she’s too far removed from this deal to do anything about Matsson’s stunts. 
“Maybe!”
“You’re supposed to be inside this Rome!”
“Hey, it’s gonna be fine. Mattson’s not stupid, he wouldn’t deliberty fuck this deal and announce it to the world on Twitter.” You’re trying to reason with your siblings, though it’s not really working. Roman mostly ignores you, Siobhan rolls her eyes. Atleast Gerri and Tom look somewhat appreciative for your input. 
“I am inside, Leave it.” 
You’re done with the dialogue, done with being the peacemaker and getting stepped over by your narcissistic siblings. You throw your hands up, phone held in one and the other in a flat palm to signify your retreat before you walk away from the cluster. You hear Greg say something behind you but don’t bother to answer him, instead moving to find a quiet place far away from your siblings.
You end up in a corner somewhere, mostly blocked by trees and bushes, a little cubby hole you hoped was private enough to not be listened in on. Your fingers nimbly click through the apps on your phone, pausing briefly before pressing the call button on Lukas’s contact. It rings once, twice. Then, an answer.
“When are you coming over? Should I send you a helicopter?”
“Macao?” Your voice is higher than normal, laced in shock and thrill.
“Closer than we’ve been in weeks.” The smile is apparent in his voice, he’s pleased with himself, you hate it. And love it.
“You’re fucking insane. I didn’t think you were serious!” 
“Yeah, I am. I’ll send my jet over.”
“Oh my God, I still cannot believe you. I can’t- my family is on high alert after your little rogue Tweet.” You laugh, not really mad at him, just eager and amazed.
“Oh come on, that was nothing.”
“It was a play to keep them on guard and you know it.”
“Well, partially. It’s for the numbers too. And for your attention.”
“It’s so hard to be away from you when you do shit like this…”
“Oh yeah? You miss me?” It’s a taunt, he knows the truth even if you deny it. So, you’re honest.
“You know I do.”
“Mmm… I miss you too. Keep thinking about what I’ll do when I see you again.”
“Lukas… I’m in public…” You can’t help but glance around, be sure you’re alone when he starts talking like this. His plan is already so clear to you.
“So you don’t want me to tell you about all the ways I’ll fuck you?”
“... Don’t do this to me now.”
“It’ll be just us in this house. I’ll take you wherever I want to. You can scream as loud as you want, don’t have to be worried about someone hearing.” His voice drops, there’s a small rustling on the phone. His words shoot straight to your core, a sensation beginning to form there.
“I’m at a fucking wedding party and you’re getting me turned on. You’re evil.”
“You love it.” You pause a moment, taking a deep breath and steeling yourself before responding. 
“I’ll call you tonight. Please be careful.”
He chuckles.“I will.”
When you hang up, your text thread with Lukas is immediately graced with a photo of his dick, hard and gripped tightly in his fist. It makes you inhale sharply, curse under your breath at the growing need between your thighs. You text him back, simply writing “Fuck you.” before clicking your phone off. It takes you a few minutes of breathing exercises, but you’re able to calm your desire and soothe the blush in your cheeks before returning to the party.
Nobody asks where you went, nobody even really cared that you were gone. You can blame it on Connor’s show of making a proposal, or Matsson’s antics occupying everyone’s minds, but this is how it always is with you. The good child. The innocent daughter. Forever right where she needs to be, never in anyone’s way, constantly willing to help. You disappear when you aren’t wanted, you emerge only when you’re useful. The perfect loyalist, somehow being turned to a deserter.
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Lukas leaves Monaco before you can sneak away to see him. You know it’s for the better, but it’s still a disappointment. You resign to finish the family trip and visit Sweden as soon as you get home to New York, going along with the planned events, a false smile plastered on your face. It’s during Caroline’s bachelorette in Cortona when your plans change. You were nursing a glass of wine, silencing your discontent at the rooftop bar when Gerri approached you.
She dragged you around to speak with Roman, revealing that your Dad had once again put you on babysitting duty. Logan wanted Rome to go talk to Mattson at his house in Switzerland, and wanted you to keep him in line. He couldn’t trust Roman to not fuck the deal, but he didn’t want you to speak to Mattson alone. So, you were recruited to accompany Rome. Speak just enough to stop him from saying something stupid, but not enough to draw attention. It was a game you were good at, one you had been practicing since youth. You were loyal to a fault, and Logan always used it to his advantage. 
Lukas is ecstatic when you tell him you’re coming. Less so when he learns Roman is accompanying you, but still thrilled. You ask him for discretion, first nicely and then sternly. You can’t afford to make your relationship, whatever it is, public. He knows this too, knows what your family would do if they found out, but can’t help teasing. It’s only a day after Logan’s request that you board a helicopter, headed to Lake Maggiore. Headed to Lukas.
Roman is oddly quiet on the flight, constantly on his phone or looking out the window, eyes blank. You know him well enough to see the anxiety clouding his mind, feel the nervous energy radiating off his body. You reach over to him and hold his hand. He looks annoyed. He doesn’t drop it. You squeeze his fingers gently, he returns the motion, lets you quietly comfort him until you land.
 Lake Maggiore is beautiful, surrounded by the Alps and lush vegetation, villas and lake homes dotting the shores of the water. You move straight from the helicopter to a boat, which immediately takes off at high speeds, skating over the surface of the lake. The wind fucks up your hair, blows up the skirt of your sundress, almost makes you loose your sunglasses. When you finally dock, you quickly pull out your phone, using it as a mirror to fix your smudged makeup and windswept hair before your host arrives. Roman gives you a weird look, silently judging you for putting effort into your appearance. As if he doesn’t spend hours in front of the mirror every morning styling his hair to look perfectly imperfect. 
When Lukas’s frame finally emerges from the hedges of his property, you have to bite your lower lip to hide your smile. He’s so himself, wearing sweatpants and a plain t-shirt, not bothering with real shoes, just a pair of casual slip-ons. It almost hurts to see him and not be able to immediately kiss him. Jesus, your inner monologue sounds like something from a cheesy rom-com. You feel so love-struck, it makes you crinkle your nose in embarrassment. 
The boat is tied up to the dock now, Roman perched on the side trying to make it onto solid land. The waves rock the vehicle back and forth, knocking him off balance and ruining his attempt at disembarking. 
“Do you want me to hold your hand?” Lukas has one hand in his pocket, the other reached out to Rome, close enough for him to grab. If he wanted to. “Come on, I’ll hold your hand.”
“Piss off.” Roman swats his hand away, finally moving off the boat with a small jump. You move, taking his place on the edge of the boat. It’s a bit unsteady, but you manage getting on to the dock in just a few seconds. You shoot a smug smile at Roman before following the two of them up some steps, away from the water and onto Lukas’s yard.
“It’s nice to see you again, man.” Roman speaks first, breaking the silence that had fallen over you three.
“Yeah, yeah. Long time.” Lukas has his usual posture, slightly hunched and lanky, with his hands in his pockets nonchalantly. 
“This is an amazing place!” Rome looks around, you continue to follow him and Lukas through the lawn, letting them lead you as you observe.
“Yeah...”
“No?”
“I don’t know, it kind of freaks me out, to be honest.” 
“Oh, yeah?”
“When I got it, I wanted everything to be perfect.” You climb a few steps, the group arriving at an outdoor pool area, lined with shrubs and facing the lake. “Now I’m sleeping on a camping mat until I get a deep dive on the best mattress in the world. It’s great- it’s great. I’m just not feeling great. I mean… I’m fine… Well, but, not really.”
You frown at his words. You want to reach out, hold his hand, touch his back, do something to comfort him. But it would be too obvious, too impulsive. Instead you nod sympathetically, catching his gaze for a moment.
“Maybe let’s leave the little feeley-feelings out of it. Cause I’m gonna give you nothing. Nothing!” Roman’s half joking. He hates emotions, tries to diffuse bad ones with humor, even if it feels inappropriate.
“Roman.” Your tone is a warning, pushing your sunglasses back on your head to give him a glare before turning to Lukas. “I get it. You want the best, but you don’t realize how boring perfection is when you always have it.” 
“Yeah, yeah. Success.. It doesn’t interest me anymore. It’s too easy. It’s fucking… anyone can do it. Analysis plus capital plus execution. But failure… that’s a secret.” Lukas is looking at you like you’re the only person in the world when he speaks. Sometimes he thinks you can see into his soul, you somehow know him better than anyone. He takes his sunglasses off, using the collar of his shirt to hold them. His blue eyes look directly into yours.“What are you worst at?”
“Well… I… am never telling you any of my weaknesses. Ever. Never, ever, ever.” Roman breaks into the conversation again, disrupts the eye contact between you two. “And I won’t let her tell you any either. Stuff a sock in her mouth, a ball gag or something.”
“That’s smart.”
“I know, I am smart.”
“Cause I ream people. Juice em like oranges. I get way too into people, and they disappoint me.” He looks at Roman when he says that, but you can’t help but take his words as a warning. Things moved fast between you and Lukas, you’ve barely known him for a few weeks and were already opening your heart to him. Letting him into your mind, letting him rearrange the furniture there like he owns it. “Hey, I’m thinking of doing like a- quarterly up and outs at the company.”
“Oh, yeah. Firing people is like, 85% of why I get up in the morning.” Roman shrugs when he talks, moving to take his sunglasses off and hold them in his hand. “But, uh.. I do want to ask you about that tweet, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh the…” Lukas laughs, looks at you, back to Roman. He makes a face, sticking out his tongue to mimic the Snapchat filter on his tweet. “That one.”
“Yeah. Seriously, yes. You got like, big shit coming your way?” Rome uses his free hand to run his fingers through his hair.
“...Are you- are you asking me for material nonpublic information?” Lukas’s grin is lopsided, he’s testing the two of you, seeing how far you’re really going to go.
“Maybe. Were you trying to get your share price up by tweeting unverifiable information outside of normal disclosure channels?” You cut in, raising your eyebrows at him, tilting your head in a way a little too close to flirting. Roman smiles at that, watches you exercise your knowledge like a proud father.
Lukas’s voice is mocking, a fake sad cartoon tone coming over it. “No, you’re not allowed to do that.” He moves his hands to his eyes, pretending to wipe his tears. “So mean.”
“Do you want this deal? Are you into it… like, at all?” Roman asks next. You’ve moved a bit from your area at the pool, following Matsson as he slowly circles the water. 
“Yeah, I am. I’m just a little Swedish, you know? I’m.. into equality.” He moves nonchalantly, like this deal isn’t as serious as it is. “I like getting into bed with people, but I also like to share it equally.”
“More of a merge than a takeover.” It isn’t a question, and it isn’t directed at Lukas. You turn to Roman as you say it, verbalizing what you both were thinking. Lukas just hums, doesn’t articulate a response. Even though you all know what it would be. 
“Okay. We’re just… heading to Milan to lock things down with our Dad and the bankers. And the tweet- it just didn’t feel great. If you’re hoping to blow this whole thing up, just tell me, okay?” Roman’s anxiety is back, you can see it in the tense way he’s started to move, in the higher tone of his voice.
“I just want to get myself the best. Of everything.” Lukas looks at you when he says it, darts his tongue out to lick his bottom lip. Roman’s too lost in his own head to notice it, or notice the way your breath catches in your throat. 
“Yeah, I fucking get that. Definlety.” Roman moves to pull out his phone, cursing under his breath when he reads a notification. “I uh- have to take a call really quickly. I’ll be in the boat, it shouldn’t take too long. Okay?” 
“Yeah, I’ll give her a tour.” Lukas shrugs, sounding indifferent. Rome nods at him, then you, and quickly takes off towards the dock, already lifting the phone up to his ear as he walks. 
You watch him leave, round the corner and leave your line of vision before turning to Lukas, face neutral save for a hint of a smile. He’s less composed than you, smiling broadly and staring into your eyes. He walks closer to you, wraps his arm around the small of your back.
“Wanna show me around?” You raise your eyebrows in question, slightly rocking back and forth on your feet. He sighs quietly, nods, and moves to extend an arm for you to hold. 
“There’s really not much to see. Your average rich person house.” You hold his arm, walking with him into the villa as he speaks. 
The interior is nice. Well, you’re sure it cost several million dollars to furnish, but that was the standard you were used to. It’s Italian inspired with a few modern elements. You take note of the high end appliances everywhere you go. A thousand dollar air purifier, a ten thousand dollar toilet, a hundred thousand dollar refrigerator. Lukas really did want the best for himself. The downstairs looks strangely perfect, like there wasn’t really anyone living there. Everything is clean and immaculate, no traces of human life. This trend continues into the upstairs, only stopping when he shows you the primary bedroom. His bedroom.
It’s simply decorated, a bed, desk, dresser. A large TV mounted on the wall across from his bed, nightstands, some artwork on the walls. There are a few large windows on the farthest side of the room, offering a view to the lake. Most things are black, or gray, with a few navy blue accents here and there. You had slipped off your shoes when walking around the house, now you let the fall to the floor from dangling on your finger. Stepping into the room, you walk until you round the bed, seeing a camping sleep matt rolled up and leaning on a wall. The sight brings a little smile to your face before you turn to Lukas’s desk, fingers grazing softly against the wood of it. 
He has a Macbook laying on it, a pair of over-ear headphones sitting next to it. There’s a cup with a few pencils and pens, a box of tissues. It’s not much, but it’s something. Above his desk sit a few wall mounted bookshelves, made of the same wood. The books on them are mostly motivational, shit that he definitely hasn’t read. One thing does catch your eye though, an older coding textbook written in Swedish. It looks worn, the spine cracked and the pages wrinkled. Your fingers move to trace along the row of books, following them until the shelf ends and you meet the wall behind it. 
“I like it. Very you.” You move your gaze back to Lukas, who’s been leaning in the doorway, watching you explore.
“Very me?”
“It’s exactly what I pictured.” You walk up to him as he steps inside, right at the foot of the bed, just a few inches apart. “Have you really been sleeping on a mat on the floor?”
“Yeah…” You wrap your hands around the back of his neck as his sentence trails off and he moves to grab your hips, closing the distance between you.
“Lukas, just sleep on the mattress. Your back is gonna get all fucked up.”
“Probably. I just- I don’t trust it. I want something I know is good, you know?”  His reasoning makes you roll your eyes.
“It’s better than a camping mat.”
“Hey- that’s the best camping mat money can buy.”
Your hand moves to cup his face, bringing him to you and planting a light kiss on his mouth. He tries to deepen it, follows your face when you pull away, looks like a sad puppy when you deny him.
“So you haven’t used the mattress at all…?” You smirk, quirking your eyebrows teasingly.
“Not yet…” Lukas grins, his eyes traveling from yours to your lips. “Why? Do you wanna help me break it in?”
You don’t answer, just smile, roll your eyes playfully, and move away from him. You turn so your back is facing the bed, and with all the drama you can muster, flop down onto the mattress. It cushions your fall nicely, though you do get left a bit breathless and giggly. Your knees dangle off the side of the bed, feet almost grazing the ground as you kick your legs. 
“It’s really not bad.” You don’t bother raising your head, just direct your words to him knowing he’ll hear. “Not the best, but definitely ‘trustworthy.’” Laughing when he sighs in response, you throw your arms up and stretch theatrically.
You feel a hand on your knee, spreading your thighs wider apart. He slots himself between your legs, moves his hand to your waist, and pulls you quickly to him. The bed is high enough that your hips meet each other roughly, a gasp escaping your mouth at the sudden pressure on your vulva. Lukas is already half hard, and making the most subtle movements to grind you perfectly against his cock. 
“Lukas… Roman is just outside…” You’re already a bit breathless, still allowing him to rub against you as you speak. He leans close to you, tall frame bending at the waist to brush his lips against your ear, still keeping his hips flush to your as he moves. 
“I guess we’ll have to be quick then.” He places a kiss to your jawline, starting a messy trail down your neck. Lukas pauses to nip the slope of your shoulder. “And you’ll have to be quiet.”
He lifts his head, eyes staring straight into yours, and waits for your response. Your lips are already parted, breath coming quick and cheeks flushed with desire. The lust clouds your judgment, as it always seems to do with Lukas. Impulse takes over and, with a hand threaded into his hair, you pull his mouth to yours roughly.  
It’s rushed and powerful. All teeth and tongue, no time for being gentle, no time for romantics. You bite his lip, he groans into your open mouth. Your legs move around his hips, keeping his body close as he ruts against your clothed core. His movements started soft and teasing, but now he’s fully thrusting against you, rough and wanting. It feels hard and hot, has your eyes shutting and your mouth whimpering. You love being close to him like this, hearing his panting in your ear, his lips on your throat, his chest pressed to yours. But it’s not quite enough. 
“Fuck Lukas, I need more.” He pulls his head from his attack on your throat, looks at you with a grin on his face.
“You need more?” You nod, a little frantically with a small hum. “Look at you, asking for things. Tell me what you want.”
You’re a bit hesitant, cheeks still red from the vulgarity of your situation. Your mouth opens and then closes again, biting your lower lip as you try to find the right words. His hand comes to your chin, fingers pressing into your cheeks as he forces your eye contact with him. 
“Tell me what you want.”
“I just want to feel you- really feel you.” Honestly, you don’t know exactly what you want. You’re so needy, you can feel how uncomfortably wet you’ve gotten and just need some kind of satisfaction. “You can fuck me.”
He shakes his head, still smiling. “No, not yet. I have plans for that, it’ll be special.” His words are a little shocking, but turn you on even more.
“Please Lukas. I need you.” Your voice is barely a whisper, laced with want. The motion of his hips has stopped and you feel yourself desperately grind yourself against him for some relief. His hands move to your hips to hold you in place, releasing the grip on your chin.
“I’m not taking your virginity in a quickie where I can’t even get you naked. And you need to be able to walk after this.” He moves and pushes your dress up, exposing the lower half of your body. “Here you’ll like this.”
 Your panties are soaked. His gaze moves down and he notices, gives a small chuckle, runs a finger up your clothed slit. It makes you shudder and whine deeply in your throat as a response. Hooking a finger around both sides of your panties, he pulls the fabric off with one quick motion, dropping them to the floor when he’s finished. He moves from between your thighs briefly, causing you to instinctively shut your legs. Lukas pulls down his pants then, just enough to expose his cock, hard and leaking already.
He moves back, uses a hand to gently spread your legs as the other grips the base of his cock. He’s so close, his dick hovering just above your cunt. Your eyes go wide with anticipation, a light gasp escapes from your lips. Then, Lukas moves. His hips angle downwards and, using his hand to guide his cock, he gently rubs his length over your slit. The feeling is immediately intense. It’s wet and strong and burning, and when his tip touches your clit you swear your vision goes white. You really can’t help the moan that escapes you, it’s Lukas that caused it. 
“Shhh… I know, I know. But you don’t want someone to hear.” He leans over you, presses a light kiss to your mouth and grabs one of your hands. Moving your hand over your mouth, he helps you press your palm to your lips, muffling the noises coming from your lips. You nod in response, keeping your hand there when he moves his away, gripping back on to your hips to hold you in place. “Don’t want everyone to know how I’m corrupting you.”
Another moan leaves your mouth at that, luckily much quieter due to your palm. Your free hand flys down, grips over his on your hip. He keeps moving, parting your lips and spreading wetness across your pussy, hitting your clit perfectly with each thrust. A curse leaves his throat when your back begins to arch, the white hot feeling in your cunt growing fast. You can almost feel the restraint leaving his body, feel the roll of his hips getting heavier, harsher. A tear rolls down your cheek, your eyes wet with the sheer strength of this new pleasure you’re experiencing. 
“Fuck, you’re doing so good, so quiet for me.” Lukas’s accent is thicker now, his head tipping back in pleasure as he ruts against you with abandon, chasing his climax. “So fucking beautiful like this.”
That’s all it really takes for you to fall apart, cumming on his cock. Your orgasm hits in a wave, making your thighs shake and eyes squeeze shut in ecstasy. You’re incredibly glad for the hand on your mouth as it muffles the high moan that leaves your lips. You don’t see him with your eyes shut, but the groans you hear let you know that Lukas is not far behind you. A few mascara stained tears run from your eyes when you open them again, your gaze being met with Lukas’s head tilted toward the ceiling, his mouth open in pleasure. 
His cock moves from your cunt, positioning over your lower stomach. His hand moves, jerking himself roughly as he looks down to meet your eyes. Your hand moves from your mouth, and you sit up a bit as you reach for him, fingers coming to rest on his hip to keep him close to you. Another low curse falls from his mouth, and with a gravely groan he cums. White ropes shoot across your stomach, resting on your skin warmly. You whimper in sympathy, watching as he twitches and bucks against his hand recklessly. 
Lukas’s chest rises and falls quickly, breath coming fast and deep as his orgasm washes over him. When his eyes reopen, he’s quick to pull you up to meet his mouth with a burning kiss. The kiss isn’t long, but when you pull away he rests his forehead against yours, eyes shut and breathing slowly returning to normal. You stay that way for a while, just close and quiet. A few moments pass, and when he moves to stand back up you take the time to dart your hand down and gather up some of the cum on your pelvis, licking it off your finger as you raise it to your mouth.
He quietly laughs, blissed out and smiley. “You love that, don’t you?”
“Mhm. I don’t know- ‘just makes me feel close to you.” He kisses you again, softly this time, almost proud.
“I’m making a monster. First you ask me to fuck you and now you’re swallowing my cum.” He moves to his dresser, retrieving a hand towel as you sit on the bed, careful to not let any of his spend drip onto the sheets. 
“Why didn’t you fuck me?” Your head tilts as you ask. He moves to kneel in front of you, gently wiping the cum from your skin as he answers.
“I told you, I’m gonna make it special for your first time.”
“Bold of you to assume I’ll even let you be my first time, now that you’ve rejected me.” It’s playful and he knows it, grinning up at you as he moves to wipe the wetness from the inside of your thighs.
“It wasn’t a rejection, it was a postponing.” Lukas stands, quickly cleaning off before tucking himself away and turning to look for your panties. “And who else would it be? Are you cheating on me?”
“No, but I can’t cheat on you if weren’t not together.” He pauses at that, head cocking as he makes eye contact with you.
“We aren’t together?”
“You haven’t asked me!”
“I thought it was self-evident. You don’t need to ask if it’s already obvious.” Lukas stoops to grab your panties from the floor, moving to hand them to you. 
You accept the fabric in an outstretched hand, setting it on the bed next to you. “Well, I would like you to ask. Make it official.”
He gives a dramatic sigh, reaches out and grabs your hands to pull you to standing. Lukas holds your hands, smiles and looks into your eyes. “Will you date me?”
You think about teasing him, making him wait, but your excitement gets the best of you and you release your answer quickly. “Yes, I will date you, Lukas Matsson.”
Your kiss is domestic and cheesy, after you separate he pulls you back into his body, rests his chin on your head for a while while he holds you close. You end up leaving your panties with him, they're still too wet to wear comfortably. Lukas helps you fix your makeup and hair, and you check to make sure your lip gloss isn’t all over his mouth (it was). He fastens your shoes back on for you, kneeling in front of you so you don’t have to bend over with your still shaky legs. He holds your hand until you reach outside and you put some space between yourselves as you enter public once more.
Roman is just finishing his call when you get back to the boat, waving at you as he quickly hangs up. You give Lukas a handshake, Rome just shouts his goodbye from a distance, and you quickly speed off again across the lake as soon as you enter the boat. Once again separated, you swear you immediately feel heavier without Lukas’s presence.
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Your brother thinks the deal is fucked, he makes that clear when you’re alone again. He half blames you, half blames himself. Either way, he’s scared shitless to tell your dad about Matsson’s merge idea. So it’s a major shock when you arrive in Milan and Logan is receptive to the proposal. He praises Roman openly for once, and even commends you on your role in negotiating the deal.
But good things don’t tend to stay good for long in your family. You know something’s wrong when Logan calls you and Shiv into his office abruptly, right before your meeting with the bankers is supposed to begin. It honestly doesn’t surprise you as much as some would think to learn Roman had been sexting Gerri. You try to defend him against Shiv’s attacks, but it doesn’t do much good, not when the evidence is sitting in front of you. At the very least, you make some kind of progress covering for Gerri, reminding your dad of her loyalty. 
Things are weird and fucked the next day. The night before Comfrey had texted you to let you know that Kendall was in the hospital. She wouldn’t say what happened, just that they were keeping him overnight and he was okay. You texted your siblings but everyone was skirting around the answer with you. They knew you cared about Kendall, maybe too much, and that telling you he had nearly drowned (possibly by his own doing) would set you off like a firework.
You wanted to go visit Kendall the next day, or be there when he arrived at the villa, or just do something to help him out. But he didn’t answer your calls and all the information you were given was extremely vague. You weren’t invited to Caroline’s wedding ceremony, so you planned on staying in bed and Facetiming with Lukas all day, waiting for a response from your brother. Your day starts off that way, sleeping in and chatting with your boyfriend into the late morning, but then Lukas tells you about Gojo’s market cap. You knew he was good, you knew he was doing all he could to get the market in Gojo’s favor, but you never expected it’s worth would surpass Waystar’s.
It’s no surprise that your dad ends up calling you, recruiting you to join him on a trip to Matsson’s. When he tells you he’s considering not inviting Roman, you manage to convince him to bring him too, citing his friendship with Matsson as a cause. So you head to Lake Maggiore, again, and arrive at Lukas Matsson’s villa, again. The excitement you feel when seeing him is shrouded in the anxiety of the sudden meeting. 
You feel like every glance between the two of you is obvious. The way he parts his lips, the way your eyes drift across his frame, it’s all unmistakable of two lovers. 
Lukas leads the three of you to an outdoor area on his grounds and when the conversation starts, his intent is clear. He didn’t tell you he wanted to buy Waystar, well he may have hinted at it, but it still feels like a bit of a betrayal. Like a shock. Even worse of a shock, Logan doesn’t immediately hate it, not in his usual way.
“Yeah. This is not happening.” The rage isn’t there behind Logan’s words. His gaze drifts to Roman, then back to Matsson. Lukas raises his eyebrows.
“Okay, I see that. Understood. But, you want to stick around? See if the old deal still has shape? Side snacks?” Logan smiles, he actually smiles, at Matsson’s offer. “You have that Israeli AI operation I might like. Maybe an asset swap sort of thing?”
“Why not.” The eye contact between Lukas and your dad is never ending. The tension in the air could be cut with a knife. “Rome, you should head back. For your mom, and everything.”
“Yeah, sure thing.” Roman looks to you, motions with his thumb in the general direction of the dock. “Do you wanna…?”
“I’m not going to the wedding. Not invited.” You offer a small smile, look to Logan for reassurance. 
“We’ll catch up with you later, Romulus.” 
Roman is dejected. An intruder, again. An outsider in the deal he’s worked so hard on, the deal he partially started. “Alright. Hate to miss the big nuptials! So… yeah. I’ll just go do that then…” He’s hesitant to go, pats you on the leg as he leaves, Dad on the shoulder.
They wait to start speaking again until well after he’s left, and when they do it’s straight to business. Your dad wants to sell. Lukas wants to buy. You’re the reluctant bridge between. Things move inside, to a formal dining room, and the real discussion begins. Numbers start to fly, calls get made, lawyers begin flying out. You end up doing more work than you meant to, arguing for both GoJo and Waystar. Trying desperately to keep all the men in your life happy. At the same time, you’re conflicted. You know your siblings will hate this deal, you know how badly they want to inherit the company, how hard they’ve worked for one of them to eventually be CEO.
But the thing is, you don’t hate the deal. You were never going to lead Waystar, never going to be more than the founder’s child. You’re the youngest Roy sibling, a woman, and from a different marriage than the others. There was no chance of you ever being number one, and you knew that from the day you were born. So why not sell the company? You don’t want to dedicate your entire life to this soul crushing work. At the same time, you care so much for your family, more than you do for yourself. This would wreck your siblings, they wanted Waystar more than they wanted life itself. Even if being family owned fucks you, it means the world to them.
 When you finally leave Lukas’s, it’s well past the wedding ceremony, and it’s clear Dad doesn’t intend on joining the afterparty. The operation moves to Logan’s villa. The cavalry marches in, dressed in designer suits and holding briefcases stuffed with Macbooks. There’s dozens of people you’ve never even met swarming around a huge table. It doesn’t even feel real, like you’re watching a dream, or a nightmare, play out in front of you. You retire to your dads private office, curl up on a leather upholstered couch and just think. You know you should tell your siblings. Siobhan and Roman have been blowing up your phone for hours, you haven’t had the heart to answer. Your dad would kill you if you reached out. Ostracize you like Roman, or disown you like Kendall. Your brain feels like a whirlpool, your thoughts flying around enough to give you a headache. You turn to the only person you can think of.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“...”
“Are you okay?” Lukas’s voice is genuinely worried, silence isn’t normal in the conversations between you two. You hear a rustling on the other line like he’s stood up.
“I don’t really know. I wish you were here.” 
“What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“I feel like a traitor.”
“Why?”
“My siblings… you know they will hate this deal.” You stress the word hate, voice a little bit breathless with anxiety. 
“I do.” His voice is quiet, almost whispering as he speaks to you.
“They would rather die than sell Waystar. But I-” You sigh, swallow thickly. “I almost agree with Dad. I think this is a good move for us. Not just because I’m fucking the guy who’s buying the company.”
“Well then, why do you agree?”
“If we don’t sell, we’re gonna get swallowed whole. All we have is the content, not the platform to back it up, not new technology to keep us relevant.”
“That’s all true.” Lukas’s voice gets a little louder, his sentences trailing off a bit as he prompts you to keep talking.
“But even if we had that, even if we were doing better, we were more stable…”
“You still would want to sell?” He already knows what’s on your mind. Of course he does.
“I think so… I mean, I will never be CEO. Not if we’re family owned, not if we’re owned by GoJo, never. And I don’t want to spend my life in this company, especially if I’m not running it.” Your head tips back against the wall you’re leaning on. You’re hiding away in a bathroom, your voice echoing a bit as it bounces off the marble walls. “This work… it fucking destroys people.” 
“It sounds like you already know what you think.”
“But Shiv and Roman and Kendall… They want the company so badly. They’ve been prepped to run it since they were kids. Even if they kill each other for CEO, at least one of them would get what they wanted.” You’re louder now, voice still stressed but frustration peaking through.
“You need to stop wasting your life making other people happy. You would do anything for your family, and they wouldn’t do shit for you.” Lukas’s tone isn’t angry or yelling, it’s stating a fact.
“That’s not true-”
“Is it? I see you go above and beyond for them every single day, and they never spare you a second glance.” Lukas’s voice is almost pleading when he speaks next. “Think about yourself, for once. Please.” 
“Thank you.” Your eyes are brimmed with tears, your fingers coming up to brush them away quickly. “I will.”
There’s a small pause before he talks again. “Are you mad I didn’t tell you about buying Waystar?” You laugh, breathlessly, at the simpleness of his question after all you’ve just talked about.
“No, I’m not mad. I was shocked…but I think it’s worn off. You’re just doing what’s best for you.”
“Yeah, yeah I am.”
“I think you’re really smart actually. If I was in your position I’d do the same thing.” You move from your stance against the wall to look in the mirror, checking to fix any smudged mascara.
“That’s what I thought. I asked myself what you would do.”
“No, you did not.”
“No, I did not. I did think about how it would affect you though.”
“Thank you for that.” It’s half sarcastic, but you know he really does care for you. 
“You’re welcome.”
“I’ll talk to you later today.”
“Okay. Come visit soon.” Lukas ends like he always does, asking for your presence. 
“I’ll try.”
It takes you a minute to compose yourself. Fix your hair, wipe off some of your fucked up concealer, blow your nose. You exit the bathroom, walk down the hall and down some stairs, finally arriving in front of the massive wooden doors leading to your dad’s office. Your brain is finally quieter now, thoughts forming clearer and headache fading quickly. You slip a small smile to the bodyguard, Colin, who opens the door for you to enter. 
Your three siblings are there, backs facing the door as they stare down Logan, who’s just moved to press a button on the phone resting against his desk. Their heads snap to you. The door shuts behind you. Siobhan opens her mouth, but you speak before she does.
“What’s going on? When did you get here?”
“What’s going on? You know what’s going on, Dad is selling and fucking our entire lives up.” Shiv faces you, her eyes are daggers and her body is a rocket about to explode. “And you didn’t tell us.”
“No, he’s not fucking your lives up. It’s not the end of the world, Shiv.” You approach them, eyes wide and pleading. 
“So you do know. You knew he was selling the company and you didn’t think ‘Hmm maybe I should tell my siblings this, you know, since they’ve spent their entire lives thinking they were going to run Waystar!’” Roman throws his hands up, his jaw is clenched and his eyes are watering.
“Do you think it would’ve made a difference?” Your voice drops, both in tone and volume. “Do you really think I have any sort of control? Any say in what happens?”
Everyone is quiet for a moment, Kendall won’t make eye contact with you. Logan is watching you intently before gazing at his other children’s faces.
“I have never, and will never, be number one. I will never have control over the company, I will never even have control over one branch of the company. I will never be CEO, I won’t even make it to CFO, because I will always be lower than you. And I will always be there for you to yell at and use and manipulate. You already fucking do!” You’re more angry than sad now, maybe it’s misdirected, but you’re too wound up to care. “For once in my life, I’m thinking about myself. And I will not let this shit, this work, destroy me like it has destroyed you.”
A few tears spill from your eyes, you don’t bother to wipe them up, just continue your eye contact with your siblings. You’re right and everyone knows it, from Gerri and Karl sitting on the couch to Logan in front of you. Shiv can’t hold your gaze anymore, she drops her eyes to the ground. Roman turns to your Dad, his eyes are wide and desperate.
“Please?” His voice is meek, barely a whisper.
“‘Please?’ You bust in here with guns, but now that you find they’ve turned to fucking sausages, you want to say ‘please?’” Logan moves from where he was half-sitting on the arm of a couch to stand in front of your siblings. “You should have trusted me.”
“Dad, why?” 
“Oh you need me to tell you why? Like your sister didn’t already? But your too fucking ashamed to admit she’s right.” He begins walking to the door, past your siblings, pausing at you to put a hand on your shoulder. “Because it works. I fucking win. Now go on, go on, fuck off you nosey fucking pedestrians.” 
The doors open, Logan is immediately tasked with papers to sign and business to attend to. Roman moves to Jerri, asks her something you don’t quite hear from the blood rushing in your ears, before moving back to the crowd of your siblings. Roman crumples to the floor, Kendall with his hands on his shoulders, Shiv next to them. You turn to see Tom entering, him offering you a weak smile as he passes.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Kendall.” Your voice is monotone. Ken looks up at you, opens his mouth to say something, then decides against it. Tom starts speaking to Shiv, but you don’t hear what he says, already turning to walk out the doors, to head back to your hotel suite, to head away from your family. 
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You stay on the phone with Lukas the rest of that night. You can’t sleep but you don’t want to be awake. He eases the pain. He says he’s proud of you. He cares more than anyone you’ve known. 
When you finally fall asleep in the early morning hours, you dream of space. You’re a cosmonaut, dancing on Saturn’s rings, playing baseball with meteors. The darkness is liminal, and pure, and calm. And the constellations are breathing around you, lighting your lawless orbit. You break the trail of a comet, its fire dotting the sky like a stitch on black cloth. Venus is a stray dog, following you wherever you lead it, spinning for attention and praise. Stars flicker like faces, you can’t recognize who they are anymore.
 When you touch the Earth, everything sings.
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