#(and maybe I don't tell them enough idk)
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Quick question — what's the appeal of Colly/Runestraw?? Like /genq, no hate to anyone who wholeheartedly and genuinely ships it, I'm just curious about what made ppl want Cup and Holly to date
#like. even the most romantic things they've done just?? don't click like romantic to me????#the flirting feels like banter with extra steps. the sweet touches are intimate sure but it still has something friendly to it in my eyes???#idk im maybe just insane#i just always preferred them as besties and not much more#they just feel like the type of besties who kiss sometimes and like. that's it#but whatever#maybe im just salty that canny/bunnycup ain't main canon anymore lol#which fair#(and also yes i will be calling them bunnycup now. it's cute af idc)#anyway#demon rambles™#inky mystery#bendy and boris in the inky mystery#babitim#the inky mystery#bastard cup man#inky mystery cuphead#quest cuphead#holly may#text post#text#i just want opposite sex besties who DON'T wanna romantically swap spit p l e a s e#especially bc i love cup??? and so I'd love it THAT happened with him????#but again. that's just me#i still don't mind if runestraw genuinely becomes endgame. they're cute enough#in my mind they're just besties who kiss sometimes and that doesn't mean they date#I don't think that will ever change#(also i feel like there's little set up for runestraw in the story considering they'd been only besties before book 12)#(and like. the set-up that there IS feels like throwaway gags??? just like the bendystraw christmas joke when dot pushed them to kiss)#(like. you can't tell me that the love rune rebound has ANY SERIOUS WEIGHT to it when CALA MARIA WAS EATING CUP'S HAIR)
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o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.
#i think the only term that is incredibly questionable is “queen” lmao#idk i have some personal beef with that one#MAN I REALLY MIGHT JUST DELETE THIS IN LIKE FIVE MINUTES#AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#WHY DON'T I KNOW WHAT I WANT#i'm not asking you to fully drop the he him but just maybe.. use she her every once in a while..#I'M GONNA EXPLODE WHY IS THIS THE WEIRDEST POST EVER TO MAKE WHAT IS GENDER CAN SOMEBODY TELL ME#btw if anybody happens to be wondering why i don't just use they/them#iii just don't feel anything towards those#personally#like they don't make me feel like anything while he him and she her are more like yes:3333#does.. does that even make sense#oh my god#there are question marks flying around my head#i read this fic the other day#which is in my drafts i need to add tags to it#but the op just.. like made my brain grow two sizes#bc they made the reader genderfluid and then proceeded to use both “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” throughout the fic and i just#HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#how do i .. get that#asghdhsaghdasghdshagdhgas#GUYS LOOK I'M GONNA SPIRAL I'M JUST GONNA HIT POST#ENOUGH#mayor of loserville#mickey vs gender#10 - 17#I'M LOSING AGAIN OHHH FUCK OFF
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SPOILERS HAZBIN HOTEL
you know, I think we really need to talk about this
like, I can't be the only person who thinks there is at least one or two big informations hiden there???
idk what exactly but it just feels like it, come on y'all I know we can make theories out of this
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel spoilers#IS alasor a mortal soul‚ really? IS HE???#cuz yeah sure al overestimate his own power here (or underestimate adam) but i don't believe him to be stupid enough to try to take him dow#if he didn't though he could do it#so why was he so sure of himself? supposedly he just learned angels could be killed and adam's the leader of the exorcists so very powerful#and WHAT DOES HE MEAN 'you should know better than anyone'???#WHAT DOES HE KNOW THAT WE DON'T#is he talking about adam? lilith?? eve??? WHO#please tell me im not alone#this feels like a mojor plot point and i haven't seen anyone say anything about it#maybe i missed the posts idk#if so pls tell me where to find them#im obsessed by this since in first saw the scene pls tell me im not alone
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has anyone noticed the world is getting so much smaller lately
#ive been actively suicidal for many months now and it keeps getting worse#im not safe anywhere im not either working at or paying to be and even then anyone can hurt me at any time and i just have to take it#i don't even want to go anywhere anymore#my cat just died he had some kind of disease or maybe cancer and he was throwing up so much he just gave up on eating#and i kept telling them he was losing a lot of weight but they ignored it until he was skin and bones and dehydrated and jaundiced#and it was too late#and i want to waste away too but im not even strong enough i just keep working like always#the world is just so small now#this isn't like. a suicide note or anything ill keep living for now#but i am fucking desperate#suicide m#animal death#idk what else#im sorry to whiny ventpost but idk what else to do
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on one hand I totally understand tropes are popular but on the other hand I think Amos is a lot more compelling as a middle aged woman trying to figure out her life after a loveless relationship than a mother figure ya know
#it's like. oh has anyone read price of salt? It's like carol. she's in a mess trying to figure things out#and dragging anyone close to her into that mess#bc she spent so long in an environment where she is both not getting enough attention from one who she wants#and getting attention from others who are 'below' her. not that she conciously sees people as below her but i think society#would tell Amos that she has a higher role on the hierarchy as Deca's lover than anyone else in mondstadt#...now i'm imagining an old mond rebellion where the original goal was something like 'tear down the walls reform deca' and then Amos joine#went 'no I'm gonna kill him' and the rebellion went '....okay that doesn't sound like a terrible idea he IS the one keeping the walls up'#nb's goal after all was to break down the walls and see the sky right not explicitly to kill a god#.......puts this idea in my pocket to maybe play with#saying that my initial idea of her was also viss er one / eva anim orphs based but sim idea. middle aged woman#upper class middle aged divorced woman amos who has her hands full dealing with the fallout of her own life and making it everyone's proble#i just really like Problematic Woman#saying that carol did kinda really mother therese but also their relationship was uhhhh unequal. Just a Bit#also viss e r one and eva are also both defined by motherhood in a way#except eva is 'long left the role behind bc the world thinks she's dead and her body isn't even hers anymore'#and vis ser one is 'she should NOT be a mother she is a whole empire's tactician for a reason'#anyway don't mind me waking up and starts rambling about Opinions bc my dream supplied me Stress of Snakes#<- thinks snakes are cool but has a healthy respect of them irl idk Where that dream came from#genshin talk
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Not feeling it rn cuz idk how to disclose to my family (mom, really) that I have two very funnily misplaced random underskin lumps on my neck and and one on the back of my head, and that my mind immiditely jumped to the worst conclusion
#The constant fatigue migranes and brain fog ive had for a good year doesn't help#oh its the damned phone it's because you don't do anything all day it's because you don't see the sun#maybe#doesn't change the fact that they are there and I'm scared haha#had the one on the back of my head for a while#and definitely didnt have a panic attack over finding the third one earlier today when absemindedly scratching my neck#they're kinda hard to find but once you feel them boy oh boy it#sigh it just seems really idk. over the top?#like if I was suppoused to die couldn't it have been anything less mentally and money taxing lmao#why bother with cancer ffs it's not like I have anything in my life going on#and to think I was actually planning on getting it together#my mom has enough on her plate as she is#what with her work slowly killing her#why is she literaly the only one that would kinda care#only after telling me I'm definitely overreacting but still#whatver man#I can't sleep but my head hurts#it's just my period anyway#sorry guys I will be back to Joy and whimsy soon I'm sure#vent#like in amongus haha
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genuinely these panels are going to make me ugly cry
#i'm not back for real yet i think i want to stay away longer. i'm just here to put more things in the queue and answer messages#i really enjoyed trimax vol 4 idk something about it was less miserable than 1-3#might have been the first volume that i wasn't grimacing the entire time i read it. or maybe i'm just desensitized now.#unironically this prayer is soooo beautiful to me. give us this day our daily bread. not bread for the week not bread for a year#just enough for today.#lately when i've been praying it just looks like#please for the love of god please please please please please PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL#things are not looking good for the community house.. lots bureaucracy with the city. and the church that funded us is falling apart#i don't know what i'm going to do if we get shut down it's the one thing in my life that's worth anything#all those kids... where are they going to go. who is going to help them. where is the neighborhood going to get their food.#in two days it will be the anniversary of [REDACTED] and i am so so so scared#just sat in my room today and fruitlessly scrolled thru jobs im not qualified for & tried not to think about thinking about killing myself#i don't WANT to kill myself i don't want to think about it i hate thinking about killing myself i will never ever kill myself or even try#but there is a demon or perhaps a ghost or evil wizard that tells me there's an easy way everything can go away. and it's A STUPID. BITCH.#please do not reply to this post i know you all mean well but i just don't think i can handle it.#talking about it i mean. and hearing people say nice but empty things.#i just wish i had someone to sit next to me.#personal#i don't want to go to church tomorrow :( it all feels so fake and i do not ever feel fed.
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Grrggh...good morning everypony = w = I rewatched the episode of the ppg reboot where Utonium gets a girlfriend...
#jane journals#self insert talk#🔬 starkissed scientist 🔬#i woke up at 5 in the gah damn morning and MY HEADPHONES are gone so im gonna have to ride the bus w/o them >:[#hell on earth 10 dead 4 missing!!!#and i choose to do this before i go ajfjg#anyways this sucks#like im not bothered by love interests but this whole reboot is ass and the characters are badly written#but theres like....at least one or two cute moments where utonium is smooth with it >//<#it cant even get the FIRST THING RIGHT ABOUT HIM THO#in literally THE FIRST EPISODE he says that spiders creep him out and they basically just. not even ignore but contradict it entirely#for why? the purpose of this ep where the love interest studies spiders and turns into one ig#they could say that hes PRETENDING to like them because he likes her. but they didnt do that#ALSO why spider? why not werewolf? that would be hot#and the love interest is that bland brand of 'adorkable' thats so disingenuous#on the other hand i DO like spiders. and the way she talks to one and like treats it like a pet...yeah id do that ._.#and idk they always write utonium as way more harsh than he'd usually be especially with bubbles#he wouldnt tell her shes being SELFISH by not wanting to give away her last piece of popcorn to a spider#especially when she barely got any#maybe he'd remind her that its GOOD to be generous BUT NOT CALL HER SELFISH#but yeah....theres maybe a moment or two 😒#like when his love interest spoils a whole MOVIE for the girls and ofc theyre upset#but he holds her face and says 'everything i need to see is right here'...>//<#THAT was smooth#and idk they don't play with the idea of the girls wanting to break them up ENOUGH#they just write one fake email and its done. then spider reveal#it sucks maybe i shouldnt have started my day this way 😂😂😂#whatever hopefully work is good!!#and i always have og utoniom to think about 🥺👉👈💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘💖💘
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so sorry to everyone who has ever befriended me or tried to befriend me bc i legit have no idea what i'm doing 😭
#how do you friend#i have never been good at it#what is too much#what is not enough#HOW DO YOU TALK TO PEOPLE??#how do you maintain conversations#how do you get to know people#do you just jump in and tell them everything#or do you hold stuff back#i have a tendency to hold back bc i feel like i'm too much#but maybe i'm not enough#maybe i don't DO enough#like#i know i could keep in touch with people better but like#i never know what to say#like what do you say#those 'hey how's it going?'s only take you so far#esp if nothing is going on which it rarely is with me lmao#maybe i just don't know how to connect with people#idk what i'm DOING#ugggggggggh#why is this so hard#why do i MAKE it hard#i wish i could be more open#but idek where to start with fixing that#maybe if i wasn't so introverted. so shy. so insecure.#maybe if i really believed people cared enough to get to know me#ugh fuck#idk what i'm having an existential crisis in the tags lmao#ignore me
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I'm sorry you don't feel like you have a place in the fandom. I really do think most people seem to like you if that means anything! I like you.
❤️❤️❤️❤️
#thank you <3 idk what else to say#it's probably my fault that i haven't really found like. a person???? i've never been good at it#i feel like i like people around me so much more than they like me (which is fine people don't have to (but also i adore so many people..))#(and maybe I don't tell them enough idk)#but honestly i don't bring a lot to the table so that's also going against me lol#i'm just here. and honestly as long as i can read the amazing fic from amazing people and drown in the actual story#and the characters and actors#then it'll all be okay
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imagine coughing roses and crocus lane exist within the same universe (apocalopsis #0012)
#crocus lane is ghibli post-apocalypse. a world where humans have died out and now beatrix potter critters live in communities#and started thinking jaja imagine this is just what comes after coughing roses#like the extreme end of no fantasy is world like ours except there's animals living in houses* now#first chapter of crocus lane involves finding and collecting a human body so it's not that they don't Exist. they just died out#it makes Sense. but it's just wild to think coughing roses (my doom days by bastille book) exists alongside crocus lane#idk how many wips still exist within 0012#i know my (as i've been calling them) magical girls don't because they're more like... magical realism#there isn't supposed to be an explanation to their magic they're just Metaphors for being aroace etc.#but maybe from the mouths still fits????#i think cyan yellow magenta black also fits still#(sidenote: i think i want to post from the mouths online 👀)#i need to think of 0012 less of a Continuity and more of a Worldbuilding Gimmick#like. no the rules don't have to be the same for every book. but depending on hiw much magic there is...#....that tells you about the end of the world#funny enough i don't think keep staring fits lol that is its own mess#BUT i do think my dreamwalkers idea fits within 0012#butterfly labyrinth fits too i think.....#pia.txt#( misc ) apocalipsis 0012
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hrrrnrnrg one day I will figure out Salome's design
#i was going to give her red hair to riff off of orin being Orin the Red.. salami was The Red first!! but then magdalena got red hair in a#trish-eva cherry cola move 🕴🏻 so THEN she was going to get brown hair and be a normie#but i forgot and gave knell brown hair and there can only be One Brunette that's Murder Mama's Favorite Child yk#she can NOT have black hair bc gioia and agustin and esteban and janna and like. every other character ive made this decade have black hair#and I'm allergic to blondes... and Orin is blonde 🤧🤧 I don't want them to be too similar ... they both have the Concerningly Pallid thing#going on so Also being blonde would be too much#maybe silver... she could be monochrome styling 🙂↕️#ohh and then when she becomes so coolie and niceys she dyes her hair and gets more colorful#but then ALSO. does salami become cool and niceys. i did the absolute ending for science and it is soooo tempting#bc her original thing was that bhaal evicted her ass bc he could tell she wanted his throne 🤪 being chosen was NOT enough ‼️‼️‼️#so. idk. the canonical durge stuff contradicts this but the world is my oyster right 🕴🏻#iirc she was going to Make Gale Worse so. idk! achieving godhood through absolution just doesnt feel the same ykwim 🤧#sriracha.txt#🫀
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I keep forgetting I can't seem to get the current version of xkit to work on my new laptop and going to do stuff that it let me do fjldksafjdlsaj
#text post#im p sure the mutual marker thing was a feature w/them bc i'm missing them on everyone that#as far as I know I was still a mutual with#then again I did drop like. fifteen followers over the last week#but that usually happens whenever I start actually posting my personal thoughts on my personal blog lmao#have also gotten a few messages both politely and not so politely asking me to essentially shut the fuck up re: my personal posts#idk what to tell y'all on that bc like. i have a lot of folks I follow n' enjoy who post just as much /even more than me re: personal stuff#I think im just particularly irritating even when I'm trying really hard not to be and try to edit my posts down/keep them under readmores#but im trying to be better#not trying hard enough tho apparently and this tag essay probably won't help but. idk.#i think we're all allowed to be as irritating/post as much personal stuff as we want on our blogs#but i also think im still operating uselessly on how tumblr was a few years ago. ppl don't like that anymore it seems#and that's okay but I gotta work on catching up to that and do better#anyway. it's possible i did lose most of my mutuals and tbh it's not a big deal it's just a lot of ppl at once like. damn.#makes me wonder what the last straw was just out of curiosity#bc if that's really what happened then im down to like. maybe three or four mutuals left and it hasn't been that low since I first started#on here back in like. tail end of hs beginning of college#I also keep missing the quick reblog feature which was my fave but. someday I will figure out why xkit isn't working for me#and i will fix it. at a time when im not sick and feeling cruddy lol
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I don’t have anywhere to go with it but I’m very compelled by the idea of Vi lying about her age to the explorer’s association
#in a universe where eetl's line about not allowing children is more of an actual Thing#normally I tend to think of her as being 17 but for this she's like sixteen and a half. maybe like three quarters. because its funnier#(and I always think about her looking young for her age but that's extra true in this case. because it's exaggerated with her pretending to#be older)#she uses fake id stuff she got from someone in the underground tavern#also have thoughts on that getting 'revealed'#although one of them is an au where muse is around and the very first time she has a moment alone with vi she's like anyway how drastically#are you lying about your age. deadpan. because they're similar enough that she can just Tell#I suppose leif might also suspect her at some point but it wouldn't be as immediate#(this is more of a separate post thought but sometimes I have feelings about the comparison drawn between them)#(I don't personally vibe with the idea of leif and or kabbu being (like) vi's parent but I do think leif has moments where he looks at vi#and is like. sees in her someone that could be a version of his and muse's kid. and emotional)#but anyway back to the other relevant thought. which is that Vi doesn't bring up the age thing until they get to her birthday#(which. the one on her id may or may not match her real one idk)#and leif or kabbu remarks on her being nineteen oh wow can't believe it. and she's like *awkward inhale* /yeah/.....#an aquila original#bug fables#vi bug fables
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So I wanted to apply to the second level of studies at the university where I did my bachelors degree after a year long break and it was lowkey my only plan for the forseeable future (2 more years of studying until I have to start thinking again about what in the actual fuck I want to be doing with my life). And today I learn that despite me passing the final exam one year ago with 100% points and them saying on their website that results from last year will be taken into account during this year's recruitation for the second level... it turns out that no, you have to pass the exam THIS year, and those start in about two weeks from now. I emailed them about this because they were giving me some contradicting information to put it mildly and they tell me that ooops, sorry about that, that thing on our website was outdated. So, you're saying that you have chosen war.
#like there's no way in hell i'm just going to accept this#my mum suggested writing. an appeal or something to someone. idk who but i'll figure it out#and tell them about how well#maybe you should accept my results#considering that the 70+ questions i spent hours preparing for last year are one to one the exact same as this year#like it's literally the same exact thing i passed already#and until now i had every reason to believe that they'd accept it#there's no way i'm going to do this all over again just because they changed my mind at last second#and it's this course specifically and naybe one other one where they don't accept older results#every other one seems to be going at least one year back#the only reason i'm not devastated by this is that i'm too busy being pissed off about it#and believing that i can still change this and use enough arguments to make them accept my results#because they have no reason not to other than. well. we just said so without informing you in advance#so that's how my summer vacation is going so far. haha fun#but ok as long as i think about my interests and focus on doing art and such and how that brings me some joy#i can forget about the absurdity of mamaging life for a minute#long story short - my one plan i had is lowkey ruined and i'm sonehow not panickibg yet even though i'm probably gonna soon enough#*should be 'changed THEIR mind' in that earlier tag#goosepost
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.
#all of a sudden realized that I love my secondary partner#could definitely fall in love with them but for now just happy to be#i have a thing about telling people (and animals tbh) that i love them#idk where it came from exactly but like. even when I brought home my puppy I was liiiike. you're so cute and soft and baby#but I don't love you yet! like a baby puppy even cares :p#idk idk I don't think I'm going to like. say anything. literally took me 3 months to say it to a literal puppy#nearly a year of seeing someone simply isn't enough for me#especially because there's like. clarifying. I love you but I'm not in love with you but I could be? how awkward#we also early days had a long conversation about telling people we love them. in which we both take our time saying it#and are put off by people saying it too soon#I just feel like we haven't spent enough time together to say it maybe... we're both busy people with other relationships too#anyways. wanted to vent a little but don't really have anyone I can share this with so#related but not. my work is hiring and we're a really small group of people and I'm anxious about it#I'm sooo standoffish with newbies and idk why and I do want to make friends but I don't but I will because small close-knit group
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