#(can he be my boyfriend. question.)

[teddybeartoji]

o wait before i start posting any pics.. i was thinking that maybe.. you guys could help me liquify this gender some more by switching up what you call me.... DON'T GET ME WRONG I LOVE . LOVE LOVE LOVE WHEN YOU USE HE/HIM AND JUST OVERALL LIKE MORE MASC STUFF THAT'S SOOO MMMMMMMMMSO FUCKING GOOD like i don't get to feel that irl at all so it really does make me so happy but i've just been thinking abt TRYING to switch it up more yk? does this even make sense...... . hhhh anyway i might won't even like it and i'll want to just go back to hehim but i wanna try... JUST TO SWITCH IT UP.

[hadesoftheladies]

let me be so fr y'all. i will NEVER shame a woman for having a man that treats her right. okay? that's always going to be a win, why would i complain about that? i just think that most of y'all that say you found him are fckn lying.

like i've watched women in dv situations lie through their teeth. they'll lie to their besties who know them freckle to freckle about their bruises. it doesn't even have to be abuse. i know how much women lie to keep up appearances with other women and i'm just saying i'm not buying it with most of y'all. that's my truth. and i start having issues when you start lying about that reality to younger women who will most likely just end up in the same shitty relationship bc of the false hope women in mid-to-shitty relationships with men espouse. and i can tell they're lying even MORE when they start trying to talk about how "women aren't necessarily better" whether that's about celibate or same-sex-partnered women. they'll drag their own female friends in order to convince everyone else that their man is truly the real deal as a status symbol. they'll shit on what their friends do for them in order to justify their veneration of this mid-ass moid. i've just seen it happen too many times, and that's why i think it's justified that radfems draw parallels between het-partnered feminists and liberal women who cling to femininity. y'all talk the exact same most of the time and even have the same arguments.

anyways.

[captain-lovelace]

Protect the innocent. Lead the guilty to the wolf.

Aren’t you hungry still?

[sciderman]

You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

[didderd]

(Click/tap images for better quality)

*Simping simping simping*

Fell might have some competition 👀 (jk I'm poly)

[cxtori]

so i finally decided to get caught up in reading BSD because, y’know, i haven’t read it since season 5 ended. read chapters 110-118 and ummm…

what the FUCK

[ante--meridiem]

Former Roommate's chess friend now accidentally bearding for me.

[kumakuma-circus]

i like how basically all i know about persona 2 is that it will fuck me up emotionally if i play it, it has gay people and also it has at least three songs (/silly) and they all bop extremely hard.

[shwizard]

Homestuck has driven my boyfriend to watching baby sensory videos and downloading Tumblr.

[kennysaysthings]

What if Dennis tracks down where Mac’s boyfriend lives and shows up at his apartment, doing squats outside said building preparing for some type of fight. Not necessarily jealous but tired of hearing about this guy.

[chirpsythismorning]

There’s something sort of patronizing and damn near infantilizing about the way stans (specifically stan twitter), will take something that isn’t that serious, or even is very serious, and will twist it as much as they possibly can, for pity and engagements.

I remember when that lie detector interview with Millie came out last year, and toxic stans of hers made it their mission to accuse the guy in the video of disrespecting Millie, when really it was all a bit? They were rushing to make posts saying, “this is so messed up! she doesn’t deserve this!!” And it’s like?? Are u guys serious rn??

And then there’s all that fucked up shit that happened with that grown ass man who groomed Millie and how a lot of hardcore stans of hers were making plot-twist edits with that horrid ig live he did??? All of that shit blew up and went beyond what it ever should have, and part of it was because a lot of those same toxic fans were out there low-key promoting a very private matter, for clicks???

Right after this happened, she deleted all of her old instagram posts (I think she’s returned recently), and still doesn't allow herself to be tagged in anything (again mostly hardcore fans there), and it’s pretty obvious to me that it's because at this point, not only does she have to watch out for people that hate her for no fucking reason and who actually mean to harm her, but she ALSO has to avoid so-called fans constantly acknowledging all the negativity surrounding her, for attention, with the guise that they support her.

Because like, do we seriously think she deleted all those sentimental posts from her past, to spite people that hate her?? No she did it to punish the so-called fans. That's the place where they could connect with her and she made a boundary that she couldn't let them into her life like that anymore.

Fans took something very serious, like as serious as it can fucking get, and were making it about stan wars. Anyone and everyone who makes one joke or one comment needs to be called out and brought down. Like it's just so obsessive and unhealthy and I get that a lot of these kinds of fans are children, and so there isn't much anyone can do. But still, it's ridiculous.

I support the notion that we should be calling out harmful behavior/language. But it eventually gets to point where it's like, what even is the point? Is there a point anymore? Or are we just speaking to speak, when no ones even saying anything? Are we seeing one negative comment and blowing it out of proportion as if everyone is saying that, to gain pity? Because it starts to get ridiculous.

In reality, people are gonna say what they want. Everyone with access to internet has the affordance of posting shit anonymously without any repercussions. That’s unavoidable. And these same people aren’t going to just be enlightened by someone calling them out. More often than not people like this want to upset others in the first place. They want a reaction. And so by constantly acknowledging their existence, and fixating on it, we're giving it to them.

And now ever since Noah has come out, we're sort of seeing something similar happening with him.

While he is getting unwavering support from a lot of people in his comments, there's undeniably a disgusting amount of homophobia being thrown at him as well.

And then somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, we have people making jokes, INCLUDING Noah.

And yet, the tag has suddenly went from unwavering support (as it should), to obsessing over any and every post/comment/joke that can be interpreted as somewhere between sarcastic, uninformed, mildly offensive and downright offensive, and we're acting like it's the end of the world.

There's no denying that all of this is overwhelming. It's a lot. And I don't blame people for speaking up when they truly feel that it's necessary. It's only natural to get defensive when you think someone is being wronged/harmed and you want to do what's right.

But again, to what point is it truly necessary to keep bringing attention to every single thing we come across that falls somewhere on that spectrum near negative?

Right now this space is filled with the negatives, even if it's coming from a good place. Do we think that Noah or Millie or any of the cast want to have to be confronted with negativity from all directions, even from the people that claim to just be fans trying to do the right thing?

It gets exhausting.

And now we're just seeing this stan twitter behavior create one big mess of delusion, with toxic Millie stans calling Noah a white sexist misogynist because he liked a TikTok referencing his coming out and the homophobic Millie meme?...

Is Noah only allowed to be open to unwavering support right now? Can he not make light of the situation, or are we just imagining that he's sitting there victimizing himself because of any and all of the negatives being thrown at him, that are never going to go away, no matter what he says or does? Because I honestly think that's the opposite of what he's doing or would even want to be doing.

And same with Millie, I don't think she sees anything and everything happening to her, and everything anyone is saying, and allows it to bother her anymore. Because how could she?? That kind of shit drains a person of their sanity.

Noah is out here not only liking TikToks joking about his coming out, he's still liking byler edits, still commenting on fans posts with a lighthearted positive attitude. He even mentioned Will in his post, so obviously he doesn't mind people making some comparisons between him and his character.

And yet here we are dwelling on everything negative we can get our hands on.

It's important to realize that the cast has seen the worst of the worst. And you can see that it's affected them. You can see they went from fairly public public figures to almost entirely private public figures, only interacting with fans when they have to, because they know a good portion of the trauma they experience comes from the fans themselves who just don't understand boundaries and common sense.

The most delusional aspect of all of this is that toxic stans are 100% convinced Millie and Noah hate each other... like they fully believe this lie they've told themself based on videos they've seen of them? Like they genuinely think they know her better than she knows herself I guess???

Now, I do want to say that I understand partly where these fans are coming from. Millie has went through absolute shit with this fandom. And it's mostly because she herself is known for saying stuff that causes people outrage. Whether it's a joke or a comment, that clearly just came off the top of her head, they'll flip it to something negative and use it as ammo to hate her. She doesn't deserve that. And I know a lot of her fans are coming from a protective place because they're so used to people hating Millie for no reason.

But even still, I don't think they realize they are a part of the problem themselves. And we are too whenever we allow ourselves to focus on the negatives, letting it practically consume us.

That sort of shit can make a person feel hopeless. 1 negative comment can outweigh 100 positive ones. And so imagine that by a scale of about a billion?

Again, I know a lot of fans mean well, but if you just take a moment to think about it, like really think about it, you'll realize that your energy would be much better directed elsewhere.

Instead of making dramatic intense posts that focus on all the negativity, BE THE POSITIVITY! Be someone that actually makes our community redeemable. Because again, we're no better than the worst of the worst if we're giving them all the attention, making the very people we're claiming to be supporting and defending, even more miserable.

And don't be surprised when s5 promo rolls around or any other event involves Millie and Noah interacting in a public forum, where they'll inevitably make jokes about all of this, arguably just as offensive as the ones we're getting worked up over right now

[choppedslice]

Our peace treaty, AKP President Rire Tayyip Erdoğan and Strade Kılıçdaroğlu met today.

[eats-the-stars]

hate my sister's shitty good for nothing boyfriend. can you imagine being a 30yo man with two kids who won't even scramble an egg. Not for his kids, not for his girlfriend, not for himself. literally if my sister doesn't leave out pre-made meals when he's watching the kids he will rip up bread or pour them dry cereal or open a granola bar and make himself microwave dinners. like, lowest effort possible. but if i mention this to my sis, she'll be like "no he's definitely cooked for the kids! he scrambled an egg for them once! i watched him do it!" but it's like...so he scrambled one egg in the last five years. just to like, prove he can? at your direct insistence? should we all clap? like seriously. hate this guy. had to really hold back recently because he had someone over and he was interacting with the kids more than usual for appearances, and he had to keep asking me and my sis what the 5yo was signing because he barely bothered to learn his own son's primary form of communication. i was so tempted to say "that one means 'go home' but you wouldn't know that because you don't take them anywhere." so hard to hold that in. If I had to describe this man in two words they would be these: Low Effort. Not quite bare minimum, but JUST enough to convince my sister that it would be too much hassle to get rid of him. he's stupid as fuck, but just smart enough to quickly stop shit like screaming obscenities at the kids for doing normal kid things. and he once stomped on my headphones and broke them in a fit of rage, but gave my sister money to replace them so it was "fine." Like, my sister thinks that he's just struggling with his anger issues, because he had a bad childhood, blah, blah, and oh he would never actually hurt her or the kids. and like, good for you, but i don't trust like that. genuinely hoping he gets struck by lightning and dies instantly.

[jen-with-a-pen]

If people aren't comfortable reblogging fics to their blog (which I am not, due to a personal history of being doxxed and humiliated to my irl friends and family), are comments sufficient enough engagement or would you rather that reader not engage with your work at all?

I feel like that came out sounding passive aggressive but I truly mean it as a genuine question and am just not sure how to rework it to sound less snarky! I see this discourse on and off from different fic writers and respect both opinions and think everyone should be able to curate interaction with their fics as they see fit.

Hi, anon.

I've been thinking carefully on how to respond to this. I can tell you're not trying to come off as snarky– which i say as someone who can't read tone for shit most of the time and whose own tone can come off aggressive or bitchy when I don't mean it to be.

I'm gonna address your ask as thoroughly as I can, if that's cool. Sorry if it's a long response. I'll put a cut in so I don't interrupt feeds ✂️

First, I want to pose a question to your question, which I mean genuinely with no spite whatsoever: why are you on Tumblr if you're not reblogging or don't even reblog?

As I've stated in other replies to the post I made a few weeks back, from the way I see it, Tumblr is literally built upon the foundation of sharing creations and content. There is no dead-set algorithm here like there is for Instagram or TikTok. Sharing is, quite fucking literally, caring here. We are able to form communities of all sizes because we share things. Reblogging is essential to the upkeep, and quite frankly the existence, of fandom and communities. Without sharing, our communities crumble and become ruins. We are actively seeing this as we speak: many mutuals and authors I follow are starting to quit writing due to passive, demanding consumption patterns and 0 engagement.

I know you probably know this, but I thought I'd restate it for answer's sake.

To answer the meat of your ask, I will pull from both personal experience and mutuals' experiences and input.

In my own personal opinion, if you are solely commenting on fics and are not engaging in anything else (no likes, no reblogs, etc.) then I personally think that Tumblr is not the site you should be on and, frankly, you should go sign up for AO3 if that's all you're going to do.

And I mean this earnestly. If all you want to do for engagement is commenting, then AO3 needs you because sharing does NOT affect authors nearly as much over there as it does here. In fact comments on AO3 are the literal equivalent to reblog on Tumblr: we don't get any and when we do it's like finding an oasis in a never ending desert.

Now in terms of what mutuals and other authors have said on the matter, it seems the consensus is that commenting without reblogging is a case-by-case basis. I'm going to quote a mutual of mine here:

"...if someone is commenting on my work but not reblogging… I'd say it's case by case. If it's just MY fics they aren’t reblogging, then it'd be a problem, but if they don’t reblog ANY [fics] I'd be more okay."

Another mutuals also put it this way:

"... I feel like there *is* both sides in this sense; yes comments are nice and engaging even though they aren't the preferred and most helpful way to boost writers..."

I feel like both of them put it into words where I struggled to. I will also say that I do agree with the point being that if you're not gonna reblog ANYTHING– no art, no content, no photos, no other fics, nothing– AND your profile adheres to the guidelines set forth in basic Tumblr etiquette (not looking like a bot and not a minor) then sure, comment away.

The verdict, in summary with my opinion and mutuals': it depends on your behavior and your interactions with other works and content.

I hate the word content but I couldn't think of another one.

But, my question still stands: why are you on Tumblr when you don't even participate in the basic fundamental function of this site?

I also wanted to take the time to address the other part of your ask regarding the doxxing and people finding out your identity.

It has been very widely known for (close to) two decades now that Tumblr is the place where you can have an anonymous identity. Truly. I've been on here for the collective half of the last decade and have been on the Internet for a little more than half my life, now, and Tumblr and fandom are literally the biggest and best places where you can be someone else. You can be completely anonymous.

The common denominator, however, is you.

The amount of information you have on your blog is what you choose to put on it. If you state your real name, your state and city, have one of those (imo stupid) carrd things or whatever, then honey– and I mean this in the nicest way possible, truly– that is on you. I know for a fact (from good and bad experiences) that you have all of the power in the world to annonymize yourself while still maintaining yourself on the Internet. That make sense?

A couple of mutuals made very excellent points regarding this:

"...I have a best friend irl who has Tumblr and is so close to the fandoms I'm in, and she doesn't know I write here. I am anonymous on here. I'm suprised she hasnt connected the dots because my aesthetics are the same in real life..."

"...I personally think its pretty easy to be anonymous on tumblr. Especially since usually all we ask is you have that you aren’t a minor at the top of your blog..."

"...it's really easy to be anonymous on the internet [...] you can be an ENTIRELY different person on the internet..."

From that last mutual, I'll paraphrase and go off of another point they made: the fact that you do want to participate and comment negates your ENTIRE arguement because someone– anyone– can find you and your blog through said comment(s).

Your digital footprint is what you leave behind. So if you have your city and state and grade and real name and all this other shit in your blog or carrd or whatever, then you are the only one who is responsible for having put said information out there.

Hell, I've been mutuals with some people going on 2-3 YEARS at this point and the only other things they know about me is my state, general city vicinity, my cat, and what I do for a living. That's it. And we span from early twenties to married with a kid or two.

We are in charge of what we share and I implore you– as someone with a certification in legal information technology– to please educate yourself on your Internet privacy and digital footprint. Please take the time to think about your actions and the information you have online. I STILL do this to this day, even after getting certified and being on the Internet for half my life.

I am sorry that you've gotten doxxed in the past. Truly, I am. It's a horrible act and I hope you never have to experience that again. Please know I am not being dismissive of that nor trying to blame you for said acts.

But it all comes down to you at the end of the day. In general, it's you, your actions, and the consequences of your actions. And if you happen to be a minor, then I strongly urge you to rethink your decisions and maybe step away from social media and utilize critical thinking in order to asses your situation and who you surround yourself with, both online and offline. I wish I had someone to tell me that when I was 14– fuck, even when I was 18.

And I mean it when I say AO3 might suit you more than Tumblr. If any fandom site has more capabilities to be anonymous than Tumblr itself, it's AO3.

Anyways, I think that's all I have to say for you. My DMs and ask box are always open and I am open to more commentary on the matter and related ones so long as it is civil and respectful. I refuse to stop having this conversation.

Thank you for listening ❤️

[dropthedemiurge]

No matter how many times I rewatch Only Friends, I still don't understand how the writers did Boston so wrong x) Like, he has a shitty attitude and full of selfishness but he is nowhere near as hypocritical as other characters and honestly he talked shit a lot but only actually did like one awful thing, meanwhile the rest of the friend gang had a bag of their own flaws too and also plenty of awful and illegal actions, only some even claimed to be morally superior. And the show made sure to punch the first type of character into the dirt with no apologies while praising and giving happy ending to others.

But when you watch reactions of other people to the show, it really makes you wonder whether they simply followed the opinion the show wanted to give the viewers or did they not question the narration at all?xD

HOW.

[gay11aliens]

Also in case you were wondering this was totally legal. By the way