#I used to yearn but I think I’ve moved past it. and I kind of just want to have a good time.

[sciderman]

You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

[gaysindistress]

Running from the Daylight - two

pairings: pirate!James “The Scourge of the Sea” Barnes x royal governor's daughter!reader 

Summary: based on this request

Warnings: reader uses She/her/hers pronouns and is AFAB, mentions of the female body/parts, cursing, suggestive sexual content, violence and mentions of death, sexual content (p in v), some dark shit (like I can’t tag it without spoiling it but people get freaky over someone who’s bleeding) I'm actually awful at tagging things but there's smut. for the love of all things holy, do not read if you are a minor.

Word count: 3.6k

part one | my master list

Tag list: @talesofreading

disclaimer: credits to original creator/poster of image/gif, found on google/Pinterest/tumblr. Credits to @boltlightning for the gif on the bottom left & @owenhcrper for the gif on the bottom right

Begging, pleading, and sucking him dry did nothing to convince James that I’ve been ready to take his cock since that first night.

He would be a monster and allow me to believe that he would finally take me only to stop right before it went too far. He would give me hollow reasons like “the sea is too rough,” “you are too tired,” “we don’t have a proper bed and I will not take your maiden hood without one.”

Useless excuse after useless excuse was all I received for months on end. A part of me wondered if he was growing bored but when I confessed this to him, he spent the following several hours between my legs. He lapped and sucked at my core until I was crying and shaking but kept pulling climaxes from me until I very nearly passed out.

I tried to tempt him by wearing thin nightdresses or simply nothing at all but it all failed. I even convinced Natasha to play along with a scheme in which James would just so happen to find us in the middle of fucking but nothing. All he did was sit in his captain’s chair and watch with sharp eyes, occasionally telling us what to do.

Months of pent up frustration finally came to head when we docked in New Providence to replenish our supplies. My father had been overjoyed to see me again but his happy mood was as soiled when he observed the way that James and I were.

“My darling please tell me that he has not ruined you,” my father harshly whispers to me as he pulls me aside.

I gasp in disbelief and rip my arm away from him.

“Excuse me! You are not allowed to ask me such a thing!”

“I am your father, Y/N Stark. It is well within my rights to know if my daughter has been abused by a pirate.”

I catch the watchful eye of James as he’s instructing his crew and he gives me a concerned look. I brush it off and look back to my father.

“Your daughter has not been abused,” I sneer as I spot the Commodore approaching us, “I’ve been kept safe and protected.”

Steve makes a face at my words as he stops beside us but my father seems satisfied. He backs away and nods goodbye to us before retreating back to his fortress.

“You may speak freely with me; has the pirate lord abused you?”

“The only abuse to be had is that what my throat endures from taking his cock every night,” I calmly state before also leaving to find my captain. I don’t wait to hear or see Steve’s reaction but I can feel his piercing stare on my back.

“You said you wouldn’t fuck me until we had a proper bed,” I say lowly as I drop myself onto the canopied bed behind me, “and I think this meets that requirement.”

James narrows his bright eyes at me but doesn’t move from his place leaning against the raging fireplace. It’s odd seeing him look…normal? He’s out of place in this world of luxury and refinement but here in the room that I once called my own, he looks like he belongs. A part of me wishes to pretend that our pasts were different and that he had been the man who proposed to me, yearning for me for years. I wish that time had been kind to him and that it hadn’t stolen his heart and soul. I wish that I could’ve been the one he fell in love with all those years ago so he wouldn’t have had to face that curse. I wish we could delight in being together alone in my room at my father’s estate, a situation I would’ve blushed to even think about a few months ago. I wish we could ignore the reality of who we are and wholly engulf ourselves in the opportunity that presents itself.

“I did say that, didn’t I love?” He muses for a moment, allowing his eyes to trail down my barely covered body. I’d found an even thinner and smaller nightdress to wear for tonight, hoping that it might finally be what breaks him.

Maybe my last wish would come true.

He pushes off the mantle and prowls towards me. As he gets closer, my body starts to burn with anticipation and I inch back to accommodate his imposing stature. James knocks my legs apart with his knee and slots between them as he leans over me. Both hands cup my face and my eyes flutter closed at his warm touch. He dips down to whisper in my ear and chuckles when my breath hitches.

“You need sleep my love.”

I let out a snort, “no I do not. What I need is…”

He interrupts me with a gentle peck and mutters against my lips, “I know what you need and that is sleep.”

James presses another kiss to my lips with a subtle roll of his hips into mine while wearing a wicked smirk. I stick my tongue out at him as he pulls away and waits for me to settle into bed. He finds his place in the huge and ugly arm chair that my mother insisted I needed in front of the fireplace. His hat is sat on the small table beside him and his feet are kicked out in front of himself. Crossing his arms over his chest, James settles himself into the chair as if he’s going to sleep there and I frown at him.

“I can feel you thinking, love,” he quips and although I can’t see his face, I know there’s a smirk.

“Is that where you intend to sleep? In my armchair that I know is most certainly the most uncomfortable piece of furniture in this house?”

His shoulder shrugs and he makes a show of making himself comfortable with a loud sigh.

“It’s perfectly comfortable to me, your highness,” the jab at my upbringing doesn’t go unnoticed, not with the way he elongates the word and lowers his voice.

Scoffing, I throw a pillow at him and he chuckles when it flies past, missing him.

“Remind me to work on your aim in the morning,” he teases me before adding that I need to be going to sleep.

“We’re not on your ship anymore so you’re not my captain,” I snipe and that catches his attention. He perks up and goes to say something smart back but the doors fly open, slamming against the poor walls.

James stays seated albeit ready to jump up if needed. Seeing as he’s playing it cool, I do the same and remain tucked into my bed.

The person who dared interrupt our night is none other than the Commodore. He stands at his full height with a scroll in his hand as he glares at James.

“And to what do I owe the pleasure of being granted your presence so late at night, commodore?” James mocks as he watches Steve.

The wigged man says nothing but sends a death glare towards the pirate before looking at me. He takes a step towards me and James makes a clicking noise, telling him to stay put.

“Y/N,” Steve starts as he ignores the subtle warning, “your father has found a way to free you from your deal with this vile creature.”

I glance around him at James who’s smirking to himself and raises one dark brow at me. He’s no longer stretched out like a cat but instead is leaning back against the chair with his head resting on his fist as he watches us.

Turning my attention back to Steve, I ask him to elaborate and elaborate he does.

“You were under duress. You cannot be expected to uphold a deal that you made when you were in fear for your life. Your father and I handled everything, Y/N, all you need to do is say that you were afraid for your life and otherwise would not have made the deal.”

In another life the gut wrenching way that Steve is pleading with me would’ve worked. I would’ve jumped up and ran for him, falling into his arms as I sobbed that I was afraid. I would’ve taken his hand and begged him to save me for the sake of being free from a pirate even if it meant being in debt to him for life.

That is if I hadn’t met James; the man who’s shown my unconditional and undying affection. The man that has sworn to protect me and honor me as if I were his ruling goddess. The man that has seen parts of me that no other man has and the man that I want to know every inch of me, mental and physical.

“Steve, ever the gentleman,” I coo as I push the blankets from my lap and slide off my bed.

“There is but one fault in your proposal,” I state as I softly pad toward the two men, “I was not under duress. I was not afraid for my life by any stretch of the imagination. I was not afraid at all, in fact, I felt the safest I had in years in that moment.”

I can feel the heat of James’ stare on me as I come to stand beside him and continue to tear Steve apart.

“If anything, I was concerned for your life but not afraid. I knew that James would not harm or otherwise act in a way that would scare me. I knew that he would agree to my terms but you,” I point at him and allow my voice to become more harsh, “you were the one I was afraid of. You’ve always been a liability, never quite knowing when you’re going to lash out on those around you. You’ve always freighted me and that night at the bar only solidified my fears that you would cause me harm. Even if my life depended on it, I wouldn’t have agreed to marry you or went back with you that day on the Serpent’s Cry. Quite frankly, Steve, I’m perfectly content being bound to this vile creature.”

James snorts from behind me and wraps an arm around me, tugging me to sit on his lap. Steve is fuming, his face turning red with anger at my lecture and I know he’s plotting both of our demises.

The man beneath me grips my chin and tilts my head down so that he can capture my lips in a heated kiss. My hands fly to tangle into his hair as his tongue swipes at my bottom lip. A moan tumbles from me when the hand gripping my chin slides to cup the back of neck.

“Enough!” Steve’s voice rings out and he storms towards us to rip me away.

The familiar cock of a gun halts him and he frantically looks down to see a readied pistol pointing at him. It had been lying under James’ hat, hidden from plain sight so Steve had no chance to draw his open weapon.

James has the audacity to look bored as he holds the weapon and rubs small circles into my hip with his other hand.

“Out,” he orders in a low rumbling voice.

Steve, however, the oaf of a man takes another step forward and James rolls his eyes.

“Is pain the only way you learn, Commodore? Out before I shoot your cock off.”

Steve scoffs at the crude words and I stifle a giggle while tucking my face into James’ neck. He shudders slightly at the feeling and squeezes my hip.

“Y/N,” Steve tries to appeal to me but I’m not having any of it. I begin to plant wet kisses on James’ neck and nip at the soft skin occasionally. Steve calls to me again and I suck a deep red, nearly purple mark into the pirate’s neck which earns me a throaty groan.

A series of sounds ring out and I jolt away from my haven. First is the sound of Steve stepping forward, a gun shot, a cry of pain, and a thud as Steve falls to the ground. With wide eyes I try to look at him but James catches my face in a tight hold, forcing me to meet his eyes.

“Don't look at him, love. Eyes on me, understood?” He whispers, letting his lips dance over mine and holding my eye contact with a fierce look swirling in his blue eyes.

I manage a small nod and he smiles at me before addressing Steve who’s clutching his leg.

“I warned you and you did not listen. As far as I’m concerned, you are to blame for the state of your leg. Now I suggest you drag your cowardly self out of this room before I do depart your cock from your body as I promised."

Lost in the way his eyes captive me and his words cause a fire to ignite in my body, I don’t hear Steve’s protests that break through the cries of pain. It’s not until James breaks our trance and rolls his eyes that I realize our situation. I still obey James and don’t look by hiding my face in his neck once again. He coos to me to go to my bed and turn away from them as he helps me stand.

“Keep your eyes on the ground for me,” he tells me when my hand slips from his and I cautiously make my way to my bed.

From behind me, I hear James let out an exaggerated sigh and the crackling of leather from him bending down.

“You’ve shot my leg, how am I to be expected to leave?” Steve hisses through the agonizing pain.

“Drag yourself like the worm you are. It's none of my concern how you choose to obey my command."

“I will not leave her alone with such a demonic savage like yourself.”

There’s a pause, a tension filled pause as I assume James debates what to do. However his next words are not exactly what I was expecting.

“Pain doesn't seem to be a strong enough deterrent for you, Commodore. Remember; you are to blame for your current situation,” he huffs as he yanks Steve up and drops him into the chair we’d been sitting in.

“Love hand me the sheet,” he says to me without looking.

I quickly bundle up the item he’s asking for and toss it to him. I want to ask what he’s planning but it becomes clear when he starts to wrap it around Steve.

“Since you refuse to leave her alone with such a demonic savage, as you put it so beautifully, you’ll have to watch her damnation.”

Steve lets out a roar of protest and it met with a pistol pressed under his jaw.

“You were told to leave and you did not. Seeing her defiled and ravished as she deserves is a fitting punishment. I think this is preferable to death but I am not the true judge. Love?”

The nickname catches me off guard and my eyes dart between them but it’s the stormy eyes of James that are given my full attention.

“What do you think? Should I grant him mercy and kill him before you take my cock? Or should he watch as I take what he's desired for years?"

As I fail to answer, James adds, "I will only do this if this is what you want. If not, I’m more than happy to show him just how acquainted with the devil I am.”

Words escape me and I just nod.

Apparently that’s not good enough.

“Use your words love. Tell us what you want.”

“I…fuck,” I mumble under my breath and James’ smirk spreads across his face. He knows that I want this, that I want nothing more than for him to finally take me even if it means Steve is forced to watch.

“I don’t think the Commodore heard you. Louder.”

“Yes. I want this. I want you. I want you to take me.”

James cocks a brow at Steve with a sinister smirk, “it appears that your pure angel wants me to defile her while you watch.”

The tied up man jerks forward with a threat on his lips and james lets out a terrifying laugh. He ignores the protests and calls me over with the hook of his finger. My body is trembling as I let my feet touch the ground and nearly stumble as I try to walk. Steve must think it’s out of fear but my captain knows it’s due to anticipation.

I stop at his side and James draws away from the injured man to wrap an arm around me. Pulling me in front of him, my back is to his chest and I’m facing Steve. James keeps his gun pointed at him while bending his head to my ear and whispering to me.

“You tell me when you want to stop, understood?“ he tells me in a voice so low I almost don’t hear him. When I don’t acknowledge his statement, he squeezes my hip with his free hand and repeats it.

Breathlessly I agree, “Yes, please James. I need you.”

He nudges my legs apart and drifts his hand from my hip to my core, pulling up my night dress in the process. My head lolls back, falling onto his shoulder and he captures my lips in a searing kiss. Moans and sighs fall without hesitation as he begins to run firm but slow circles into the bundle of nerves that only he can seem to find. His name becomes a chorus that is caught between our lips as the pressure builds within my core. He releases my lips and lets me sing my song for Steve to hear clearly. I feel him smile against my temple as I grow louder and louder. Just as I’m about reach my climax, he pulls his hand away and I nearly cry. A few tears leak from my eyes and he coos sweetly to me.

“Shhhhh love, I promised to defile you and I intend to do that. Lean forward and put your hands on his shoulders.”

“James,” I whimper when I feel him back away.

“Do as you’re told.”

The sounds of his belt and pants dropping silences me. I lean forward and with hazy eyes, look Steve straight on as my hands grip his shoulders. There’s a fire burning in his light eyes and I’ve come to know what it truly is. He can try to deny it but we all know watching me is causing him to grow hard and angry.

“Y/N,” his voice breaks as he whispers my name and I blink hard trying to look at him.

The heavy heat of James behind me distracts me and I drop my head at the feeling of him rutting against me.

He taunts Steve with cruel words as he drags the head of his cock through my folds and pulls wanton moans from my swollen lips.

“James,” I plead, “please.”

He coos mockingly as he lines himself up.

“Louder, my love. I don’t think your fiancé heard you.”

“He’s not my fiancé,” I grit out angrily but it falls flat when he pushes his entire length inside of me. It turns into a wince and pained moan but he doesn’t pull out. He keeps it there, watching me struggle with the pain that morphs into blinding pleasure. Only when I push back against him does he withdraws a few inches but keeps most of his length inside me as he starts to rock his hips into me. He’s slow and deliberate at first, focusing on pulling the loudest and most embarrassing moans he can from me but as his own body betrays him, his hips increase their pace.

Below me Steve is a mess. His breathing is ragged and the color is draining from his face as the blood loss becomes too much. I can’t bare to look at him and James must see that in the way I keep my head bent down. A sharp tug on my hair forces my head up and I see the devastation written lines on his face. The cold barrel on a gun rubs against my scalp and it dawns on me that the hand that’s in my hair is holding the gun. He grunts as he pumps his dick into me and I cry out as pleasure washes over me. He keeps one hand coiled into my hair as the other slips to my core, rubbing me and drawing my climax from me.

James tugs me up against his chest and I tilt my head back to rest against his shoulder as we continue to move against each other. His cock drags against my walls in a nearly painful way but I don't care. I’m pulsing around him and pleading with him to let go with me. As my eyes flutter shut from the white hot pleasure, he tugs my hair again and demands I look at Steve.

“Look at the Commodore, love. Look at what just watching you does to him,” he mumbles against the skin of my neck. My eyes are heavy and it’s a struggle to do as I’m told but I do and it earns me my climax.

James thrusts up hard one final time and we’re both moaning as I finish. He’s not far behind and groans out my name as he releases his hot seed into me. We’re a panting mess as he slows and eventually stops. He loosens his grip on my hair with a sweet kiss to my temple and whispers praise into my ear.

Intertwined in those sweet phrases is a promise and at first I think it’s for me. Only when the second shot of the night rings out do I realize that it was intended for Steve.

“I hope for your sake that your false god takes pity on you and allows you to die before morning.”

With that he tucks himself back into his pants and lifts me into his arms. My final memory of commodore will be blurred in pleasure and blood but I don’t care. He can bleed out for all I care after he dared to lay a hand on me and insult the man I love.

[mcflymemes]

MISCELLANEOUS SENTENCE PROMPTS *  collection #3

we can’t stay here.

i’m not here to be spoiled.

how should we go about this?

that’s a spatula.

you should get behind me.

is that a serious question?

that’s what i’m trying to do.

cover me.

have i ever let you down?

i can’t think straight.

i guess i’m out of practice.

what kind of music do you like?

how many people have you been intimate with that you actually loved?

you’re just telling me something i already know.

if anyone needs their rest, it’s you.

i can only assume your life has been rather lackluster without me.

i appreciate that more than you know.

i really enjoy the person you are today.

i’m not accustomed to the cold.

did you just drop my phone? is it cracked?

give me a second. i need to sit down.

where have you been hiding?

you look incredible.

that’s a lie and you know it.

you are a work of art.

we should go on vacation.

how did they find us?

you’re mocking me.

the world isn’t very kind.

i have pictures i could send you.

oh, good, you caught onto my bitterness.

you could have just led with that.

fools will be fools.

i’ve seen you on the news before.

is there a reason you asked?

and now we’re being followed.

it’s pretty nice up here, isn’t it.

if you need any help, just let me know.

perhaps we’re imagining things.

you’ve got better aim than i thought.

i thought you knew everything.

i’m not used to it.

you broke my door!

mind if i join you?

i yearn for quiet holidays.

fancy seeing you here.

i hardly think that’s necessary.

do you have a gun on you right now?

give me your phone.

i’ll try not to be too offended.

you could have called.

i like when you smile.

you’ve got a deal.

are you blushing?

that was the dumbest thing i’ve ever heard.

i thought you were supposed to be hard to find.

trouble always seems to find me.

i need your help, old friend.

i miss the cold weather.

you don’t need to thank me.

it’s just me.

that was cruel.

i deserved that.

i suppose it’s too late to say no.

we’ve all got a past. some are better hidden than others.

are you trying to tell me how to live my life?

what you did took guts.

no, that’s not what i meant at all.

i wanted to be closer to you.

it used to be cheaper.

you have powers, don’t you.

you’re a bad kisser.

that wasn’t supposed to happen.

sorry for startling you.

make sure you keep me in the loop.

did you hear anything else?

should we get moving?

do you want it? free of charge?

you’re just trying to hide the fact that you missed me.

was this always your goal?

i don’t want to put words in your mouth.

did i find you at a bad time?

did you have a good relationship with your father?

please keep your pants on.

we’re closing in on our suspect.

could you get it working again?

if you would take a second to actually listen to what i just said.

are you asking me to pick a favorite?

i wish i could unsee things.

you go that way, and i’ll go this way.

what accent is that?

can i kiss you?

i’m just happy they sent someone nice.

i think you would make an excellent dance partner.

keep telling yourself that.

the picture’s crooked.

hang on, i’m taking a picture.

you never let yourself relax.

we mock what we love.

i trust you. i always do.

i really wish you would ask first before taking that.

[pickles4nickles]

So I’ve been watching playthroughs of Yakuza games for a while now, but when I saw that the newest game takes place in Hawai’i, the place where I was born, raised, and have lived in for nearly 30 years now, I knew that this was something I had to have first-hand experience with and not let some guy tell me how to feel about it, to put it bluntly.

I went on a month and a half long journey to finish this game, so I sat around for a bit like

Jesus Christ I should write a review on it.

So if you’d like to read about 5k words on what I thought about The Video Game™, here you go.

Overall, Like a Dragon: Infinite Wealth is a really really good game. However, as Hawai’i local it was kind of hard for me to turn my brain off to some of the cultural inaccuracies and as someone who tends to play smaller indie games, I clocked in about 110 hours on this and I burned out a little towards the end.

GAMEPLAY

Let’s get into Gameplay first because I think I have the most positive thoughts about it. If you haven’t heard my thoughts about Pokemon lately, it mostly boils down to “It’s the only RPG I’ve really been playing in recent years and the gameplay has been very watered down and I yearn for a decent PvE experience.” This game definitely scratched that itch in more ways than one.

Infinite Wealth’s turn-based combat system revolves around positioning. Some moves have an AoE of either a straight line or a circle. Positioning a character next to an ally will proc a combo move with them and positioning them near items will proc an item attack where you can beat a guy to death with a traffic cone or something.

The job system is robust. Every character starts off with a default class- Ichiban’s is Hero, an all-rounder that can pretty much do anything; characters like Nanba and Eric (I know the game calls him Tomi or Tomizawa, but I’m not the game and “Fuckin’ Eric” sounds way better than “Fuckin’ Tomi”) are magic-oriented, so they’re basically wizards by default. You can change their class to other jobs (Desperado is my favorite because it’s basically gun mage), which unlocks new skills as you level them up. You can also change jobs as much as you want and skills carry over between them, so there’s a bit of moveset mixing and matching that makes my brain feel good.

Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio, (the Yakuza devs, which we’re just gonna abbreviate to RGG from here on out) have always been REALLY good at asset reuse (again, I cast a dirty look to Game Freak). They’ll make a whole-ass map of a region and reuse that same map for several games down the line. Not only do you spend a significant time in Ijincho again and not only do you go to Kamurocho for little bit… AGAIN, but there are two… what I can only call “macro” games that have the best asset reuse I’ve seen in, like, maybe anything ever.

DONDOKO ISLAND

Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth comes with a whole-ass Animal Crossing clone that’s also kind of The Sims called Dondoko Island. In this, you rehab an island that’s being used as a dump for some trash pirates (no, seriously, they’re actually pirates, yar har and everything) back into a five star resort. There’s a whole-ass crafting system where you go around the island, harvesting resources, to build furniture and facilities, which include whole-ass buildings which have appeared in past Yakuza games. The crafting system is GREATLY improved over Animal Crossing: New Horizon in that you can skip the goddamn animation and craft multiple of the same items at once. You don’t even have to have all the materials in your inventory, it’ll take it from your storage. Placing items in the world is also in an overhead view and the only grievance I have with the system is that placing paths is really weird and you can only place a limited number of them. But overall, Nintendo, was it really that hard to put into the video game. Why did you make AC:NH disrespect my time in that way?

Once the island has been cleaned up enough, you can start inviting guests over, which all have their own set of preferences for the vibe of your island (rustic, pop, sleazy, etc), their lodging quality, and how much of the island’s flora and fauna (and minerals, I guess??) you’ve discovered.

I really really liked Dondoko Island because who am I to say no to a management mini/macro game with decoration elements. I mostly really appreciate that it doesn’t waste your time. I wanna say I finished it in like less than 20 hours… which is not short for a game within a game (actually, that’s insane for a game within a game), but for a game of this genre, it’s pretty short.

There’s also an entire separate mini-island that further helps you with efficiently running your island by passively collecting resources over time and just being a general stockpile of bugs and fish to catch. But I can’t talk about this part without talking about…

SUJIMON

A returning character voiced by Keith Silverstein in the English dub – yes, that Keith Silverstein, who voices Masayoshi Shido of Persona 5 and Zhongli of The Genshin Impact™ is a professor who documents the behavior of weird and often hostile middle aged men, called Sujimon. When Ichiban goes to Hawai’i, he asks him to also document the native Sujimon there as there’s a prominent Sujimon scene there. Mans wasn’t kidding as there is an underground, more or less ilicit Sujimon fight club called The Sujimon League with its own Elite Four called The Discrete Four.

In the previous game, Sujimon was just your bestiary (literally called the Sujidex), but now it’s a whole-ass game, which I can mostly only describe as simplified Yokai Watch, but a glorified card game. Just so we’re not here for forever talking about middle-aged men cockfights… because I can talk about the mechanics and inner workings of middle-aged men cockfights for a hot minute, Sujimon League basically operates on a 3v3, with an additional bench of 3, rock-paper-scissors kind of system. You’ll need strong Sujimon to get through this macro game and you’ll recruit new guys through four ways- through random fights on the map, through literal Pokemon GO raids, through a gacha system, and through combining Sujimon of the same type into stronger Sujimon (don’t think too hard about that one). I had a LOT of fun with this and, again, it scratched an itch I’ve had for a while. Almost all of the Sujimon are just guys you’ll fight in-game, so, again, an excellent use of asset reuse.

Sujimon smoothly integrates into Dondoko Island in a way that makes Palworld look even more balls-less than it already is. You know that little island I was talking about a few paragraphs back? That’s Dondoko Farm. You can put your Sujimon to work on it! As you’re running around on Dondoko Island, letting it consume your life, your Sujimon will grow crops, scrounge around for resources, and earn some cash for you. The island also has some resources to help with Sujimon League by leveling them up with a small investment of some dondoko bucks and your time, but also a Pokemon-Amie type mini-mini game that helps strengthen the friendship of your current Sujimon team.

Yes.

This game lets you pet-

The sweaty, weirdo middle-aged men.

Don’t think about it too hard.

Especially don’t think about it too hard when you have a Sujimon on your team that uses Xander Mobus’ voice clips.

Anyway, there’s also another minigame called Sicko Snap, which is basically Pokemon Snap with Sujimon. It’s a good one, too.

STORY

I guess… the best way I’d explain my feelings on Infinite Wealth’s story is

Objectively, this is an okay story. Like, it’s par for the course for a Yakuza game. I have a lot of personal grievances with this plot which I’ll fully unsheathe my blade for in the next section, but for now I’ll just say… this game is basically Hawaii Five-O crammed into a Yakuza game and that was an emotional rollercoaster ride that I’m not sure I enjoyed.

Like a Dragon’s main theme is “Even if you hit rock bottom, it’s never too late to get back up again” and that’s something I hold near and dear to my heart.

They have used this theme to my benefit and to my dismay as this also apparently means it’s never too late for ~*Romance*~ which, sure, yeah, okay, true, but did it have to be Ichiban and Saeko?

I’m trying to give the game the benefit of the doubt because… to me, it’s mostly one-sided (as in, like, Saeko’s willing to give him a chance, but isn’t as crazy for Ichiban as he is for her) and, like, dude is allowed to have a crush. But from what I have seen… because I never got around to finishing her Drink Link (I was gonna but I’m like really burned out on the game), they kinda strap C4 to the Bechdel Test and raze a village to the ground with it when it comes to Saeko’s character arc because most of her dialogue and interactions are about The Incident with Ichiban, which sucks because she had more character than just a romance interest for the protagonist in the previous game. If you’re also REALLY not into this plot point like I am, the story DOES NOT let you forget that this indeed happened as it seems to be a plot thread that might continue into the next game as well.

Needless to say, I don’t ship it, and I don’t get to block tags and just walk away from this one.

The game also kinda keeps nudging at, “Hehe, Chitose’s pretty cute too, right?” to which I say

Yes I understand she’s of legal age but she’s only like 21 AT MOST and Ichiban’s like 40-something you stop with that.

It doesn’t feel like Ichiban really had a character arc in this… unless you count “proposing on the first date” to “saying I love you on a redo and then being weird about it again” as character growth. He went to Hawai’i, had some shenanigans, found mom, got backstabbed again, fought the cult (which I’ll be really salty about in the next section), went back home to help Eiji’s character arc. This isn’t a bad thing, it’s just… Ichiban went on another adventure. And it was ok. I think maybe the game was sizing him up to, again, take Kiryu’s place and be The Hero, but… we already did that already? And I’m not even sure if the game was able to complete that message by the end of the game.

Kiryu probably got the most character development out of this game and talking this over with my friend Andrew, he brought up that it kinda wasn’t fair that this is supposed to be Ichiban’s game, but he had to share half of it with Kiryu. And I agree. His sections were also really hard to get into if you haven’t been a longtime fan. Again, I have a decent amount of Yakuza knowledge, but with Kiryu’s memories, a LOT of it went over my head.  It seems like RGG’s been trying to retire him as a protagonist for like three games now and MAYBE this time they’ll actually do it after this victory lap they’ve given him. But he did learn that “my friends are my power” and “never ever give up, you still have time to do better.” And you know what, that’s rad.

As far as the villains go, just, I dunno, they’re fine? Ebina and Eiji are very “okay bitch, stay mad, then,” and it’s. Fine? My only complaint is that Ebina’s arc felt like it was under-seasoned before they put it in the oven to cook and they could’ve peppered it on a little earlier in the game or something. Bryce’s entire deal I may have taken a little too personally, but that’s for later. Dwight was literally just Danny Trejo doing a villain role and I have absolutely no qualms with it. He was fun to watch.

The supporting cast was fun as always. Eric I hated at first, but he grew on me in the same way that, like, I’d bully a friend. Chitose I also kinda hated at first, was very sus of, but then she had a character arc that was pretty good. The Yokohama gang didn’t really have character arcs to them, but they were still fun to hang out with nonetheless. We got to learn a little bit more about Seonhee and she’s really fun. Both her and Zhao, who is my favorite for several reasons, are really really fun characters as they are both crime bosses (former, in Zhao’s case) who are BIG FUCKING WEIRDOS and I love them for it.

Joongi Han becomes a party member WAY too late in my opinion that, in a way, he’s technically an optional party member, or at least like getting a Dratini right before the Pokemon League in Gold/Silver/Crystal. He had some fun character moments, but felt kinda like an afterthought.

But also, ain’t no way he got his Hawai’i clothes at Hilo Hattie. There’s no way.

To wrap up my thoughts on the main story, I’d just like to say: the plot point that they sailed to Japan on a little tugboat in a handful of hours as opposed to WEEKS is peak Hawaii Five-O vibes and it infuriates me, but everyone kept telling me “it’s okay, the coast guard picked them up, like, halfway” and I will sit down and not start a fistfight over it. And just. That was the vibe of the game for me. Just… alternating between a J-Drama and Hawaii Five-O.

I don’t really have much to say about the substories except that they’re either almost Oscar-worthy material or they’re a snoozefest that I just tabbed through. I can really only think of three substories off the top of my head that were EXCELLENT, though - Nancy and Olivia, the artificial snow quest (THIS ONE IS EMOTIONAL WHIPLASH), and the traveling aquarium one. The rest I mostly just tabbed through because they were just……. Eh. But I think I’m okay with that since we have Sujimon and Dondoko to make up for it.

THE CULTURAL GRIEVANCES

So as I type this section out, I run my hands over my face to remind myself and say

This is a game that takes place in Hawai’i from a Japanese perspective, written primarily for a Japanese audience and I assume that certain things may come from a place of ignorance, but not maliciousness.

Hey Tumblr.

I want you to read that first bolded sentence again.

Because I know how you guys are with reading comprehension.

But that being said, as a Hawai’i-born Chinese person, there’s quite a lot about the Hawai’i cultural aspects of this game that I have problems with. If you wanna see me roast this game, you can stick around, but if not… Here is your chance to bail.

I’ve tried my best to write this in a way where I look at the thing that pissed me off and ask myself,  “Am I taking this too seriously or do I actually have a problem with it?” and write more or less objectively, but some of it might still come off as overly caustic. Just. I tried.

And after a deep breath,

Ho brah,

We go.

WHAT IS HAWAIIAN CULTURE, ANYWAY?

To start off, I’m not sure if RGG knows the difference between being a Hawai’i local and actually being of Hawaiian blood…? The game mentions at the very beginning that Akane is half-Japanese… and half-Hawaiian, which makes Ichiban one-fourth Hawaiian, which makes ME kinda… squint. Like, we’d need to know more about Akane’s backstory, but if you know anything about indigenous cultures, finding someone who’s half native is HARD nowadays. Akane also looks pretty light skinned for someone who’s allegedly half-Japanese, half-Hawaiian but that’s just my tiny nitpick?

I’m also… not sure what kinda research RGG did on Hawaiian last names because some of the ones I see on random enemies are kinda… 

Who is that

What is that

I have never seen anyone named that in my entire life

Sure, my worldview is a little shut in, but, no, what IS that?

Mililani is not a last name, that’s a neighborhood, why’s she Lani Mililani?

WHAT IS THAT?

The pidgin in the game is also there, but… small kine hit or miss. For those of you who don’t know, pidgin is Hawai’i’s creole, which came from a bunch of cultures who don’t speak the same language eventually falling into a kitbashed language system that works for everyone. Looking at the VA listing in the credits, they did hire some local people (they have Hawaiian names) and some of the VO performances work really well like Obispo in the restaurant side story and the cab driver dialogue that ONLY comes up in the Japanese audio version of the game for some reason. Others… are… hm (I don’t know what’s going on with Jeff the taco truck guy). I feel like the voice director got the intonation on the line reads down pretty well, but on the localization side, the syntax and grammar are a little off. Pidgin tends to come off as “broken english,” but it’s technically not since it’s its own language system with its own rules. So you have a lot of line reads that are in the right inflection, but the way it’s written is wrong for pidgin dialogue.

And it just doesn’t sound 100% right to me.

There’s also some… small pronunciation nitpicks that I have. Ukulele is pronounced the white way - it’s not Yooka-Laylee like the Chameleon and Bat, it’s ook-oo-leh-leh like Tapu Lele, the Pokemon. Some characters pronounce Hawai’i as huh-why and not ha-wuh-ee, which is more right (it’s SUPPOSED to be ha-vai-ee but I’m not native Hawaiian and this is kind of an axolotl situation so, y’know).

But shout-outs to the “Whatchu lookin’ at?” line guy.

Because that one is just, no notes, perfect.

NOTHING CAN BE NORMAL, I GUESS

Something that rubbed me the wrong way in this game is the mystification of a culture that’s foreign to you, that is, taking a culture that’s not yours and describing or representing it in such a way that it sounds so deviant and hard to comprehend compared to the one you’re used to. Think of that one tweet where someone describes hamburgers like a white person would describe asian fruit.

There's the lei substory where the girl needs to make a lei with blue plumerias (which does not exist by the way) because there’s an urban legend that if you give a blue plumeria lei to someone, it’s a way of confessing your true love. Lei are just… things you give as, like, a “congrats!” kind of a thing. Or if you wanna be touristy about it, a “welcome!” kind of gift. There’s nothing mystical about it, most grocery stores stock a few that you can just pick up, grab and go style. 

The entire game mechanic of “shaka to make friends” was so?? Like maybe after 8 hours into the Hawai’i map, I was like, okay, I’ll just… fine. I’ll accept it. But my god did I not appreciate it when Kson came up to me and was like “what’s a motherfucker gotta do around here to make some friends” and told me how FRIENDLY the Hawaiian people were and how you can just throw a shaka to make friends; while me, probably the saltiest, introverted Hawai’i local that throws stink-eye at tourists who can’t watch where they’re going, playing the video game on that day was like, “We don’t fucking do that, hello??” I don’t even know why we shaka?? Most people you ask that question will just be like “idk it’s the local thing, they do it at the end of the 5pm news on KHON2.”

There’s a substory in this game with a character named Nathan, but we were all calling him racist Alpharad because he kinda looks like him (ALPHARAD HIMSELF IS NOT RACIST OR IN THIS GAME I WANNA CLARIFY THAT) and he’s basically, like… a weeb. He’s recording what seems like a PBS special on Japanese tourists in Hawai’i, but he’s kind of a shitter about it. He makes Ichiban choose between local foods and cold-ass rice and becomes upset when he chooses kalua pork over the rice since it wasn’t The Japanese Option. It escalates to making Ichiban play darts with shuriken and when he loses, he tells him to “live up to his dishonor,” slides him a knife and board, and asks him if he wants to take a finger or hara-kiri. To which Ichiban goes “dude, I get you like Japanese culture, but you can’t treat people this way”

To which I look back at the game like

You clearly understand how this feels, so why are you doing this to Hawaiian culture?

Again, I understand that a lot of this game was written with maybe just ignorance, and not malice, and this isn’t really a call-out post to RGG or anything, but BOY…

Okay.

Now we get to my biggest gripe with this game.

PALEKANA CAN SUCK MY NUTS

I’m kinda disappointed in their choice to use a Hawaiian cult as a plot point. It’s not quite a native savages kind of a vibe, but… In the year of our lord 2024, I thought we would know better than to portray an indigenous religion as a bloodthirsty cult? I also don’t like how they’re conflating the Hawaiian religion with what’s more like a Christian/Catholic cult in this.

Palekana is portrayed as “cultists who worship a goddess who lives in a mystical land, forbidden only to her chosen and maybe one day we’ll be worthy of her blessings.” Hawaiian religion is… not… like that at all? They did get the part about “giving back to the community” correct as a part of Hawaiian culture is mālama ‘aina, meaning, you need to care for the land you live on, which is… reasonable? I guess the other basic idea of Hawaiian religion is that certain places, things, and times that are important, and you shouldn’t touch it unless you wanna fuck around and find out. But the game just kinda wildly overboils this.

Like, I don’t claim to be an expert, I’ve only scraped the basics from what I learned in school (a year’s worth of Hawaiiana lessons in middle school, a semester’s worth in college; went to a private Catholic school, took two world religion classes in college), but Palekana has a very Catholic European religion kind vibe instead of a Hawaiian one. And I really, really don’t like that the game conflates the two. The Palekana cultists wear hoods, which is a distinctly European thing (it’s too hot for hoods here!). The beaded necklaces also seem more like rosaries, which, again, very Catholic. The idea that a god-figure will save you is also a VERY Catholic idea. I’m also assuming the goddess Nele that they use in the game is an expy for Pele, which… okay, like, you can do that with locations. Ala Moana Shopping Center represented as Anaconda Mall in the game hurts me a lot, but… to change up the name of the most prominent deity in Hawaiian religion is like

Dude, I’m not Hawaiian, but I know better than to shit on Pele?

Maybe I’m taking this a little too seriously, but it comes off as a little(??) disrespectful.

To give them the benefit of the doubt, maybe RGG wrote this plot point in this way to be like, well, they’re the villains, so we’ll write them so hyperbolically evil and wrong so people won’t mistake that for the actual culture? But my gut reaction is that they’re only writing from what they’ve seen in the movies and they wanted to make a story like that.

This was my least favorite part of the plot because not only does the cult aspect feel like it’s in bad taste, but it’s SO MUCH of the story and you REALLY can’t get away from it.

Alright. So now that I’ve aired that out of my system, I’m finally capping off this section with the part of the game that hit the closest to me and that is

CHINESE IN HAWAI’I

Listen. Again.

This is a story about Hawai’i, written by a Japanese team, for a Japanese audience.

Yakuza is a series that often talks about the racial conflict between the Japanese, Chinese, and Koreans. And I don’t expect them to portray any of these groups in anything more than a neutral light in this game about Gang Crime.

But ohhhhh my gooooood did they get the Chinatown section so wroooooooong.

Right off the bat, the big glaring problem I have with this game is. All the guys speak Mandarin. I think they might just be reusing voice clips from Yakuza 7, which, sure, fine, I understand that video games are hard to make and expensive.

In Hawai’i, like, real-world Hawai’i, not the bizzaro Hawai’i this game takes place in, we’re definitely starting to see more Mandarin-speaking immigrants show up, but most of the town speaks Cantonese.

Most of the people here a generation or two above me come from Guangdong or Hong Kong, which are Cantonese-speaking areas. It’s an entirely different dialect that’s really only been represented in small bits in media I’m familiar with, like in Jackie Chan Adventures (the uncle’s chant is basically “no more ghosts, get out of here” in Cantonese) and Digimon Tamers (“Moumentai” is “it’s okay/don’t worry about it” in Cantonese), and it seems really hard to get VAs that speak it, so I’m not… really that mad about it.

BUT. Then there’s Wong Tou.

Wong is the Cantonese pronunciation of 黄 , Huang or Hwang in Mandarin.

So like… clearly they knew?? But?? Decided not to go all in on it??

(And then Daniel Dae Kim is his face model and I just??? Bro’s Korean, hello?????)

And then there’s the name of Wong Tou’s gang. The Ganzhe.

Which is a stupid name.

The Chinese dictionary gives me 甘蔗 which translates to sugarcane, which. I get it. The plantation times. The Chinese and the Japanese and the Filipinos and the Portuguese and whatever all used to work on the cane plantations.

…But you’re out here calling your BIG KNIFE GANG “Sugarcane??”

My guy, you could start a reggae band with that name instead.

SPEAKING OF REGGAE-

No one knows how to pronounce Ganzhe properly besides Eric’s VA apparently? All the other VAs pronounce the gan closer to “van” when it’s supposed to be more like a “gone.”

Yes. That’s right.

Ganzhe is pronounced more like ganja.

You know.

The Marajuanas™

I’m a Hawai’i-born Chinese, first-generation local on my mom’s side and third-gen local on my dad’s. I grew up in Chinatown, so this was a section of the game that was near and dear to my heart. So I THINK and HOPE you’d understand my frustration to see that work needed to be done on the representation of my culture in this game. It was definitely a little fun to see my hometown modeled in this game- they got Maunakea Marketplace and Keikaulike Mall down pretty accurately and some of the motifs on the buildings made me do a double take because they were so familiar to me. BUT, man, this cultural aspect of the game needed A LOT of work.

SO TO FINALLY CLOSE THIS OUT

Japanese people love Hawai'i a lot.

I think Japanese people love Hawai'i more than Hawai'i locals do.

But as for portraying it accurately, I understand that no one can do it as well as a local islander can. Did I personally think they did the best they could?

………………ehh

Like, if you turn your brain off, it's fine??

If you turn your brain off and not let Palekana get to you, this game is fine.

It can be a little campy.

It can be a little Hollywood.

It can be a little Disneyland.

And despite my four pages of bitching about it, at the end of the day. It is fine.

So with that, I’ve hit like ten full pages on this Google Doc. Despite half of this review being me complaining about what they got wrong about Hawai’i culture in this game, I liked it a lot! When the game didn't have me strapped down for an episode of a J-drama or Hawaii Five-O, I liked running around town, fighting guys, making other guys fight other guys, and managing a resort island. If anything, this game actually motivated me a little to make more local-themed stuff, because as I notice people getting older, there’s less and less people to correctly preserve highly specific culture stuff like this. So a lot of that responsibility falls on me, y’know?

Thank you for making it to the end of this review! I know it was a lot. I don’t know what happened. I do recommend this game, but I ask that you do NOT finish the game with the takeaway that you have learned everything there is to know about Hawai’i.

I’ll fight you with a lawn chair (in Minecraft, for the FBI agent reading this) if you do that.

Other than that, I think you’ll have a lot of fun but also take your time because this game is, like, a 100 hour commitment. Not Persona 5 Royal long, but a commitment nonetheless.

[fanficshiddles]

The Redbridge Hunts, Chapter 37

Loki walked outside onto the back patio and chuckled when he found Claire in the hot tub, with a glass of wine.

‘I thought we were going for a walk today?’ He asked as he folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the doorframe.

‘Yeah, we are?’ Claire looked over at him with an eyebrow up.

‘So why are you drinking wine at half past ten in the morning?’ Loki smirked and stalked over towards her, to perch on the side of the tub.

‘All rules for drinking goes out the window when you’re on holiday. Plus, it will warm me up and get me going for our walk.’ She said as she handed the glass to him.

Loki chuckled and took a few sips before handing it back to her. He momentarily disappeared inside, but returned butt naked and with his own wine glass, plus a bottle. Claire laughed as he slipped into the tub next to her and topped up her glass.

‘See, I do have good ideas.’ Claire grinned.

‘Hmm, occasionally, I suppose.’ Loki teased.

Claire nudged his leg with her foot under the water, with his quick reflexes though he reached under with his free hand and grabbed her ankle. She let out a squeak as she slipped down the water a bit. He laughed and trapped her foot with his knees, then tickled her foot.

‘LOKI!’ She screeched out with laughter.

‘Will teach you to kick me.’ Loki growled playfully as he released her foot.

‘You think that was a kick?’ Claire laughed as she sat up straighter.

‘It hurt.’ Loki pouted.

Claire gave him a look, she knew that was a blatant lie.

‘Even if I kicked you as hard as I could, I doubt it would hurt you.’

Loki smirked with a shrug. ‘True. You’ve got me there.’

After finishing the bottle of wine, Loki and Claire dragged themselves out of the hot tub before they turned into prunes, they got dried off and dressed to go for their walk.

‘If we get lost, I’m blaming you.’ Claire said as they headed out through the woods, following one of the marked paths that should take them through the woods and out onto the hillside.

‘Even you should be able to follow these signs, darling.’ Loki teased her.

‘Hey!’ Claire laughed and nudged him with her elbow.

Loki chuckled as they held hands while they walked. It didn’t take them too long to get through the woods and out onto the hills.

‘This week has been amazing. It’s been so nice being just the two of us.’ Claire said as she squeezed Loki’s hand.

‘It has indeed… Hey, when does your lease on your flat end?’ Loki asked casually as he rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand.

‘End of June. I’ve got it on a six-monthly contract. Why?’

‘Well… I’ve been thinking, for a little while now… You’re almost always at mine, I know because of Bat, it makes sense being at mine instead of yours for the majority. Though being together constantly these last four days has just made me kind of yearn for it… what I’m trying to say, is…’ Loki paused a second and stopped walking, he turned to face Claire fully and picked up her other hand too, so he was holding both her hands.

‘Would you like to move in with me when your lease is up?’ He blurted out quickly, he wasn’t sure why he felt so nervous about asking her. Then he realised it was because if she said no, he would be crushed. Though he didn’t want to rush her, either. If she wasn’t ready.

‘If you’re not ready, that’s no problem. It was just a suggestion. I know it might be a bit too soon for some. It’s absolutely fine if you don’t want to yet.’

‘Loki!’ Claire laughed and tugged her hands out of his, she reached up and held his face in her hands. ‘You’re rambling!’

‘Sorry…’ Loki said sheepishly. ‘I just don’t want you to feel pressured or anything. It’s fine either way.’

‘Loki… Shut up and let me answer, will you?’ Claire laughed again. ‘I would love nothing more than to move in… with Bat!’ She smirked.

Loki instantly felt relief flood through him, he laughed and tickled her sides in retaliation. ‘You best take that back.’ He growled at her.

‘Ok, ok. With Bat… and you.’ She grinned up at him.

Loki narrowed his eyes at her, but smiled widely. ‘That’s better.’

Claire wrapped her arms up around his neck, she went up on her tiptoes as Loki dipped his head down so they could kiss.

‘Do you really think you can cope living with me twenty-four seven?’ Claire mumbled over his lips.

Loki grinned against her lips and slid his arms around her, pulling her flush against him. ‘It should be me asking you that, my love. Living with an insatiable vampire.’

‘Oh my, how ever will I cope?’ Claire giggled.

They continued on their walk, Claire was so excited thinking about the future with Loki. She couldn’t wait.

‘I’ll chip in with the mortgage and utilities of course.’ She said as they began walking up the first hill they came to.

‘What mortgage?’ Loki raised an eyebrow at her with a little smirk.

‘Huh? Do you rent that place?’

‘No. It was bought outright. A gift from dad when I started working at the school for him, Chris got his place bought too.’

‘Holy shit. I didn’t realise you owned it outright.’ Claire laughed.

‘I’m a very lucky man.’ Loki grinned. ‘Now I get to share it with my lovely woman.’

‘With your lucky woman, that’s for sure.’ Claire corrected him. ‘Though I’ll need to chip in with something, electric and oil or wifi.’

‘We can sort that out when you move in.’ Loki assured her. He had a feeling that she would’ve wanted to contribute financially, though he certainly didn’t expect her to. He wanted to give her a comfortable lifestyle, but she wasn’t the type to expect that, and he knew it. So, they’d come to an arrangement that they were both happy with.

‘Bat will be delighted to have two slaves at her beck and call twenty-four seven.’ Loki said.

‘If she lets me move in, since she is the head of the house, I’ll need her permission.’ Claire laughed.

‘I am sure she won’t have any issue with it.’

When Loki and Claire returned to the cabin after their long walk, that ended up taking a good chunk of the day, they were both hungry so Loki chucked a lasagne they’d bought into the oven while Claire picked out a film for them to watch.

They snuggled on the sofa together after eating to watch the movie. Of course, it involved heavy make-out sessions, so they had to rewind the film a bit to catch up on what they missed. Claire ended up lying on top of Loki while they watched the remainder of the film.

Loki just lazily played with her hair and stroked her back intermittently.

‘I wish we could freeze time to this place and time forever.’ Claire said quietly when the film ended.

‘Me too. Though we do have the rest of our lives together, this is only the beginning.’ Loki said fondly as she turned her head to face him and rested her chin on his chest. She smiled and nodded in agreement.

‘I still can’t believe it all. I love you so much.’ Claire shimmied further up his body to kiss him.

‘I love you so much too.’ Loki said, his heart was so full and happy.

-

When Loki and Claire got in the car and began heading home, their phones started pinging with incoming messages while they’d been out of signal.

‘Not as much as I had expected.’ Claire said after checking through her messages, nothing of importance really.

‘Can you check mine for me, darling? See if there’s anything urgent.’ Loki asked her.

Claire took his phone and had a look, she saw a message from Matt so opened that incase it was about Bat, and it was.

‘Ah…’ Claire cringed as she read the message.

‘What? What’s wrong?’ Loki asked, his tone slightly panicked.

‘Matt had an emergency, the first night we were away. So he had to sort out care for Bat. He said he tried the others, but they all weren’t answering… apart from one…’

Loki’s jaw slowly clenched, he had a feeling he knew where this was going.

‘Please tell me it’s not Chris that has her? Anyone but him.’

‘Sorry… We’ll need to go via your brother’s to pick her up.’ Claire cringed.

Loki ran a hand down his face as he sighed and put his foot a little further down on the accelerate pedal.

‘At least we know that Bat likes Chris and he seems to have a sweet spot for her. We know she will be absolutely fine.’ Claire assured him.

‘Hm.’ Loki grunted in response.

When they arrived at Chris’ place, Chris answered the door with Bat on his shoulder.

‘Bat!’ Loki said in delight at seeing her, he always missed her when he was away, even for a short time.

Bat jumped straight into Loki’s arms, though he frowned and glared at Chris. ‘What have you been feeding her? She’s put on weight!’

Chris looked a little sheepish. ‘Whatever she wanted… I wasn’t going to just ignore her while she was yowling at me for some of my food or giving me puppy dog eyes for treats.’

Claire stifled a laugh. ‘I’m sure she can’t have put on that much weight in five days.’

Loki raised an eyebrow at her and handed Bat over. Claire took her into her arms and her eyes widened in surprise.

‘Oh… Maybe she has had a few too many treats.’ She bit her lip and sniggered.

‘You’ve overfed my cat!’ Loki growled at Chris.

Chris shrugged. ‘She was on vacation too, I’m certain you two have probably put a little weight on with being away.’

Loki was pissed, so Claire grabbed his arm and started dragging him down the path. ‘Thanks, Chris. I’m sure Bat enjoyed her stay!’ She called to him. ‘Come on, Loki. Let’s get Bat home. She’s good.’

Loki grumbled under his breath but allowed Claire to guide him back to the car.

Chris just watched them from his doorway with a smug smirk.

[bellofthemeadow]

The Road ahead - ch 4 | Frankie Morales x female reader

Series Masterlist

Previous Chapter

For most of your married life, you dedicated yourself to waiting for Frankie. After each deployment, you patiently awaited his return, longing for the moment when he would be by your side again. During those nights when nightmares consumed his thoughts, you yearned for him to open up to you, hoping that he would find solace in sharing his pain. And as his addiction spiraled out of control, you held onto the hope that he would recognize his problem and seek help. However, despite your countless protests and pleas, you now find yourself waiting for him once more as he ventures off to Colombia, engaged in God knows what.

But this time is different. Determined, you make a solemn promise to yourself: You will never wait for Frankie again.

Rating: M for Mature (18 + no minors allowed)

Word Count: 5.5K

Warning: Applicable for the entire fic / PTSD, drug use and addiction, postpartum depression, abusive familial relationships, self-hatred, unhealthy coping mechanism, explicit sexual content, violence, mentions of suicidal thoughts, super angsty

Chapter Summary: A long overdue confrontation takes place where you have to face Frankie's lies.

Notes: Hello again everyone! Oh my God, I am so excited about this brand-new, shiny chapter!! That entire interaction was what brought me to imagine this fic in the first place. I hope you all like as much as I had fun writing it (I am a big slut for angst so beware). Thank you again for the support and let me know what you all think <3 <3 <3

Letting Go

Letter #1

August 19th, 2008

To the prettiest girl at the bar,

Hey there... So, before I go any further, I need to apologize for making my getaway from your place that morning in such a rush. I had to be on base at 0530, and I didn't want to disturb your sleep. Seriously, you looked so peaceful in that cozy bed of yours. If I had any type of artistic talent, I would've painted a masterpiece to capture that moment. I mean, I'm no Picasso or anything, but just imagine the most breathtaking sight you can ever imagine and that's exactly how you looked that morning.

I really hope I'm not coming across as strange or anything by reaching out to you like this. You see, as I was making my exit, I happened to glimpse your address on one of those letters sitting on your kitchen counter. And one of the perks of being an army pilot (aside from flying, of course), is that I tend to have a decent memory and your address stuck with me long enough to scribble it down later at base. Please, please don't get the wrong idea here! I know it might sound a bit, um, stalker-ish, but I promise you, that's not what's going on in the slightest.

I got to admit, I'm feeling a little shy about writing this letter. Swear to you, I've never done anything like this before! It isn’t some cheesy move that army dudes pull to charm the ladies (well, maybe some do), but I promise you, that isn’t my intention at all! I'm afraid I might be rambling here, and the more I go on, the more I feel like I'm messing this up!

To be honest, I didn't know what to do with your address. But it kept catching my eye every morning when I rolled out of bed and right before I hit the hay. The time we spent together just kept playing on a loop in my mind. And you? You've been sticking to my thoughts like glue.

That night we had; it was like sparks ignited in my head. I couldn't let it slip away without taking a shot, without letting you know how I’ve been feeling these past two weeks since that night.

I guess it's kind of unconventional, reaching out to you like this with a letter. But something inside me just wants to explore if there's something even more special that could sprout between us. I can't get your smile out of my head, or the perfect way we connected. It’s never happened to me before. It's like fate brought us together that night. Like our souls were destined to weave together. You’re always on my mind, and I'm aching to learn more about the beautiful soul that's stolen my heart.

So here I am at 3 am in my bunk, writing this letter while holding my breath and hoping you're open to taking a leap with me.

I'll be here, waiting for your reply. But please, know this: if what I felt, that connection I think we shared, doesn't resonate with you, there's no need to feel bad. I don't want you to feel obligated or burdened by any expectations.

Our time together was a precious moment, one that I hold dear and will hold dear forever. And if our hearts don't align in the same way, I understand. We all navigate our own paths, and sometimes they lead us in different directions.

Please, don't feel guilty if you choose not to respond. Our connection, albeit short, was a gift. I cherish the memories we created, and I will hold onto the possibility of what could have been with a grateful heart.

Wishing you nothing but happiness and fulfillment,

The terrible wingman from the bar,

(Francisco Morales)

Letter # 2

September 2nd, 2008.

Dear Francisco,

Your letter was a real shock, to say the least. I woke up the morning you left feeling so empty without you there. I combed through the entire house hoping to find a clue, maybe you had scribbled down your number somewhere. I must have deep-cleaned my apartment twice in the hope of finding a scrap of paper with your name on it. At some point, I thought it might have been a dream, that I had imagined that amazing, gorgeous, and generous man with whom I spent the night. I was sure I was crazy and then, out of nowhere, your letter came. It made me question whether you enjoy giving ladies emotional scares. I’ve barely known you for a full day and it already feels like being on a rollercoaster ride. Is this what life is for you Francisco? The helicopter pilot, always seeking a new high?

I want you to know that there's no need for you to worry. The connection we experienced that night has also stayed with me, occupying my thoughts ever since. It's as if the memory of our time together has become an integral part of myself, refusing to fade away. Your letter touched me in a way that no one else ever has. It was the most romantic and adorable gesture anyone has ever done for me.

I must confess, I feel deeply flattered by the lengths you've gone to express your feelings for me. It's not something you encounter every day—a man putting so much effort into writing a letter to a girl he spent just one night with. And while I cannot deny that such attention could have easily ventured into the realm of being slightly creepy, there is something inexplicable about your gestures that managed to bypass any unease within me.

I can't help but wonder what that means for you and me. Maybe, just as you said, it was fate that brought us together that night.

Francisco, now that you've opened the door to your world, I don’t intend to shut it close. My desire to know you better has blossomed into something more profound. I yearn to uncover the layers of your being and to understand the depths of your passions, dreams, and weaknesses.

Every time I close my eyes, the memory of your hands caressing my skin resurfaces, leaving an indelible mark on my senses. It's as if your touch awakened a dormant part of me, igniting a fire that I never knew existed. I find myself longing for the warmth of your embrace, the tenderness in your eyes, and the sound of your laughter that brought music to my ears.

But, Francisco, I also want to be honest with you. Your sudden disappearance left me confused and uncertain. I need reassurance that you are equally invested in seeing where this might go. I need to know that you won't disappear again without a trace. My parents fought constantly when I was a child. So for me, communication is essential, and I believe that openness and honesty are paramount to laying strong foundations for whatever this might become.

If those terms are agreeable, I will wait for your letter impatiently. In the meanwhile, please take care and make sure to prioritize your safety and try to avoid taking unnecessary risks for me. I can't help but worry about you, and I want nothing more than for you to stay out of harm's way as much as possible.

Warmly

The girl from the bar

Letter # 17

April 19, 2009.

Hola preciosa,

Once again, last night you appeared in my dreams, as you so often do. But this time, it felt unbelievably real, like a distant yet familiar memory that I couldn't quite grasp. We were together at your place, surrounded by warmth and coziness while raindrops fell outside. It was just the two of us, lost in our own little world, wrapped in the comfort of each other's presence. Although the exact details escape me, I vividly remember the way you touched me, as if your fingers left an indelible mark on my skin. If given the chance, I would choose to spend my last moments in your arms, savouring the most beautiful thing of all—your love.

Those mere four days we spent together back in January were nothing short of a cruel tease. It's as if every time I lay my eyes on you, my love for you sprouts like an overenthusiastic weed, making it increasingly excruciating to bid you farewell each time. I'm still amazed at how I managed to be only fifteen minutes late for base that day. Let's just say those extra rounds of push-ups were a small sacrifice in exchange for the extra pleasure of your company.

As I write this, Benny has decided it's the perfect time to hover behind me, boasting about his self-proclaimed status as the brilliant mastermind behind us. Can you believe him? As if his presence that night we met magically transformed him into a love guru. Anyway, Benny says hello, as do Will and Santi, although you haven't met them yet. I truly hope that the next time we all have time off from base, you'll have the chance to meet them. Those guys are like brothers to me, and I really want you to get to know them. I'm certain they'll like you as much as I cherish you.

 I know that until now, we've kept our personal lives somewhat separate, with your work at the library, your family, and your friends, and the same goes for me. But now, I want you to be an integral part of my life, a constant presence. Even when I'm away, I want to know that I am yours and you are mine. You know, I've been doing a lot of thinking since January (Yes it happens often before you say anything), and I've come to realize that I can no longer imagine my life without you by my side. When I think about the future, I see you right there beside me. But if I try to imagine a life without you, it feels incredibly dark, and I feel like everything would lose its meaning.

I know this might sound completely insane. I know people would say that we haven't been seeing each other long enough for these kinds of declarations. But Hermosa, when you know, you know.

When I return from base, all I want is to hold you in my arms until they fall off. I want to be able to hold your hand as we stroll through town, and I want to shout from rooftops that you are mine! Even now, when I look at the picture you gave me, it fills me with a warm feeling that envelops my entire body, and I can't help but proudly show your picture to everyone, telling them how lucky I am that a girl like you would even remotely look at someone like me. You inspire me to be a better person, my lovely one. Everything feels worthwhile with you. I can't imagine a world where we're not together, and I want to think about you every single day for the rest of my life.

My dearest love, you are the sky that stretches above me. Just as the sun illuminates the world on bright days, you radiate warmth and light, filling my heart with boundless joy. When clouds gather and cast their shadows, it is you who transforms the room, turning even the gloomiest moments into something serene and comforting. I know that together we can weather any storms that may come our way.

My love, until Uncle Sam lets us be together again, I will keep on finding my comfort in those four days we shared in January. Those precious moments have woven themselves deep into my heart, and they hold a special place that no distance could ever diminish. I cannot wait to be home with you and create new memories to intertwine with them.

Please take care and know that I love you a little bit more every day.

Yours forever,

Frankie

Letter # 18

April 25th 2009

My sweet Frankie,

Your letter moved me to tears when I first read it. After I put it down, I picked it up again and found myself crying even more. I was afraid that I was the only one experiencing such intense emotions. I worried that perhaps you were more interested in a casual connection and that we might not be fully aligned in our desires for each other and our relationship. However, I'm relieved to discover that I'm not alone in feeling this deeply. Thoughts of you consume my mind constantly, and those days we spent together in January remain some of the most incredible moments of my entire life.

Frankie, I believe you complete me. You fill that void within me that I've always sensed, like finding the perfect missing puzzle piece to finish a picture. You are that missing piece, and since meeting you, my life has finally felt whole.

I couldn't care less about what others may say or think about us, Frankie. You are everything to me, and I want to shout it from my windows so that the whole world can hear. And if anyone wants to say that it's moving too quickly, then to hell with all of them! Every day, I find myself yearning for your presence beside me. I come across little things that remind me of you, and it makes me wish you were here with me. For instance, just yesterday at work, I was going through the donation bin and I stumbled on a children's book about helicopters. It instantly painted a picture in my mind of a little Frankie flipping through the colourful pages, and it filled me with so much warmth and affection.

Frankie, I also really want our lives to blend together. Meeting your friends would be amazing, and I hope you'll get to know mine too. I already had a great time with Benny, so I'm sure your other friends are just as awesome. Since I know how important they are to you, I'm genuinely excited about building bridges with them. I know it's uncertain when you'll be allowed off base or if there's a chance you might be sent far away from me. But maybe, just maybe, the next time you have some leave, we could start building this life together. Waiting any longer feels unbearable to me.

Until we can be together again, my dearest love, you will remain in my heart and appear in my dreams, bringing me some moments of respite while I wait for you. Despite the distance that separates us, my passion for you burns brightly and the flame of my love will keep burning ever bright regardless of the physical divide. With each passing day, I find myself yearning for the next time I will see you, but in the meantime, I will treasure the memories we have started to weave together. And I will find comfort in their warmth and hold onto the hope that our love will grow even stronger with every beat of our hearts.

Yours forever,

Letter # Too many to keep track of

June 12th, 2011

Mi cielo,

Do you remember that summer two years ago? Because I do. I had a two-week leave, and we went to the Miller's for a BBQ. You were wearing a beautiful blue dress that made you look like the sky on a clear summer day. God, you were so beautiful. We were having a great time when Benny told a stupid story that made you laugh so hard that your drink came out of your nose. I remember how embarrassed you got. But then you turned to me, and the embarrassment seemed to melt from your shoulder, and you couldn't stop laughing, your eyes were twinkling like the stars. It was such a beautiful sight and that's when I knew deep down that one day, I would marry you. You would be my wife, someone I would always hold, protect, and cherish until the end of time.

And today, my love, that day has arrived. You know how I struggle in front of a crowd, mi cielo. My words tend to stumble, and I find it challenging to maintain my voice. It's as if all the words jumble up in my throat, eager to escape all at once, resulting in a tangled mess of sentences. That's why I've chosen to write my vows to you in a letter, just like we've been exchanging since the day we first met. You once told me that you could see the truest version of me when I write to you, and I hope that on this special day, through this letter, I can make the side of me that can truly convey the depth of my love for you appear. Better than my spoken words ever could.

My beloved, from this day forward, I make you this lifelong promise. I promise to hold you close, to always offer comfort and support whenever you need it. You can count on me to be there, I will aim to be a steadfast presence in your life, like a rock you can always lean on. I will protect you and care for you for as long as live like a shield guarding against any storms that may come our way. No matter what challenges we face, I will be yours, never doubt that.

But mi cielo, my love for you goes beyond the grand moments that I hope will mark some of our journeys together. I vow to cherish you in the simple gestures also, where I think our love shines the brightest. Its with the gentle touch of our intertwined fingers, the way our laughter always seems to harmonize and in the unspoken understanding that always passes between us without the need for words.

As we walk side by side through the tapestry of life, I promise to be your faithful lover, always by your side, supporting you in every step you take. I will celebrate your victories with joy and stand with you during the challenges we encounter along the way. Together, we will continue to create a beautiful life that I cannot wait to keep on building with you

My beloved, today I pour forth these vows from the depths of my heart. They are not fleeting words but an enduring pledge, a testament to my unwavering love and devotion. As the days unfurl, my affection for you shall only deepen, like roots reaching ever further into the soil. I am filled with gratitude and blessed to call you my partner, my confidant, and my dearest friend.

Today I will say yes to forever with you and I know it will be the sweetest promise of all.

Te amaré siempre

Your Francisco

______________________________________________________________

"I want you to explain whatever the hell this is, Frankie. And no lies this time."

Frankie freezes. He cannot tear his eyes away from the 3 little baggies neatly placed in a row in front of you. Words get stuck in his throat as he tries to find something, anything to say to you.

"You've got nothing to say? Well, let me fill in the blanks for you, Frankie. I found one of these tucked away in your old boots, and the other one in your work drawer. I must admit, I'm still completely fucking baffled. How could you? How could you bring that into our home, Frankie? Especially when you're well aware of how absolutely unacceptable it is, especially with the baby."

Frankie looks around frantically, searching for an explanation. "How did you..."

"How did I find those? Well, I'm so glad you asked, Frankie." A surge of anger fuels your words as you take a step closer, your finger pointing accusatorily towards the door. "Let me shed some light on the precise moment when your little plan crumbled, right there in the car. The fucking car!!!" Your voice slices through the air, causing Frankie to wince.

"I had to learn from Benny and Will how you got back on cocaine! They slapped me in the face with the truth about your lies, how you’ve been deceiving me from the moment the plane touched the ground! How could you not tell me, Frankie? I thought we were doing well; you promised you would talk to me if things were getting hard!"

You take a deep breath, attempting to sort through the jumble of words clamouring to escape all at once. Emotions, accusations, fears, and disappointments vie to be hurled at Frankie.

"Well, let me tell you, hearing about how much your husband loves lying to you from Will and Benny was utter and complete shit! So, I thought I could let myself have a cigarette to help swallow that bitter pill. I knew you stashed some in the dashboard. But what did I find there? Not fucking cigarettes, Frankie! COKE? In the dashboard, really?! You've already had your damn piloting license revoked. Do you want to end up in jail on top of everything? Have you any clue what the cops would do if they caught you with this shit? Goddamn it, Frankie, how could you do this to me? How could you do this to Ella?"

Your voice quivers as you struggle to catch your breath. Years of bottled-up frustration and the pain of Frankie's betrayal finally overflow. Yet Frankie remains silent, avoiding your gaze and looking down at his own shoes in shame.

“FUCKING SAY SOMETHING” You roar as tears of anger start to fall down your face “You can’t just lie to me for weeks and hide cocaine in our home and not say anything!”

"Mi ciel..." Frankie softly starts, but you snap back, "Don't call me that, Frankie! You don’t have any right to call me that, especially not now!" The weight of your words hits Frankie, and his face fills with anguish.

"Please, you have to believe that I'm so damn sorry. I never meant for any of this. I wasn't going to take any of it, I fucking swear..." You scoff, cutting him off, "Oh, you swear? You've got cocaine in your goddamn boots, and you expect me to believe you weren't going to take any? Fuck, do you even have some on you now?" Swearing more than you’ve ever in your life, you realize you've unleashed a torrent of profanity that you can't seem to control. It's as if a dam has burst within you, and you're either unable or unwilling to stop it.

Frankie's silence hangs heavily in the air, his right-hand trembling with restless anxiety. A wave of numbing unease washes over you, and in a voice barely above a whisper, you manage to muster the words, "Frankie, do you have cocaine on you right now?" Frankie's hand, consumed by nerves, instinctively dives into his breast pocket, retrieving a small baggie. The tension in the room intensifies as he places it alongside the others on the table, its size and contents mirroring the rest.

Silence echoes in the room.

"Get out," you say with a stern voice.

"Wait, wait! I'm so damn sorry. I swear, I wasn't planning on touching any of it. It's just... knowing it's there, somehow it eases the pain that I can’t seem to get out of? But I promise you, I had no real intentions of actually using it. Please, please believe me!" Frankie pleads desperately, his voice trembling with a mix of fear and anguish.

"Are you even hearing the words coming out of your own mouth? Maybe you can fool yourself, but you can't fool me. Not anymore. If it was just me, maybe I could brush it off, but I won't let Estrella be exposed to that" you say unwaveringly, though deep inside, the pain of seeing Frankie's face twisted with anguish and devastation pierces your heart. "And let me be crystal clear, Frankie. I don't owe you a damn thing! You're the one who lied, the one who got lost in that haze, the one who chose drugs over your own damn family. Not me. Well, guess what Frankie? I've hit my breaking point."

"Hermosa, please, I'm begging you from the depths of my soul. I promise to change, to become a better person. I'll go to therapy, find a sponsor—whatever it takes to make things right. Please, don't do this to us," Frankie pleads desperately, his voice filled with pain and heartache as if every word is a cry for salvation. “I can’t bear the thought of a life without you, of losing the love that has defined everything for so long. Please hermosa” Frankie’s voice cracks and almost makes you flinch in your resolve. But you steel yourself.

"Don't put the blame on me, Frankie. I've already given you all the support I could. I've respected your silence, comforted you through your nightmares, and endured being pushed away. I've watched you withdraw into yourself, and nothing I did or said seemed to make a difference! I thought that if you didn't want to talk to me, it would be better if you spoke with a professional. I've made efforts to get you into therapy, rescheduling appointments when you didn't like the therapist, and even searched for support groups for veterans in the city, despite knowing well that you've never attended any of them. I've been working double shifts since before Ella was born because you've been grounded. I've held this family together with every ounce of my strength. I've pushed and pushed, but now, Frankie, I'm exhausted. I can't push anymore. What I need from you now is to leave and help yourself," you explain, your voice laden with exhaustion.

"What about Ella? Are you going to deny me the chance to see my own daughter?" Frankie's voice quivers with a mixture of anguish and frustration, as he feels himself losing control. In his desperation, he resorts to lashing out, aware of the vulnerabilities he can exploit, quite like the skilled military man he is, used to exploiting weaknesses in an opponent's defences.

"I can't believe you would even ask me that," you reply, feeling hurt. Frankie avoids your eyes, his own filled with shame for his hurtful words. "I'm not a monster. Of course, you can see Ella. But deep down, we both know it would be better for her if her father were to take care of himself," you continue in a softer tone. "I've tried to heal for you, Frankie, but now I realize this isn't healthy. This is a step you need to take on your own. I'm tired, and I can't do this anymore."

"What the hell happened to 'for better or for worse'? You promised me we'd face any storm together, but the moment things get tough, you fucking disappear," Frankie's voice loudly fills the air.

Raising your gaze, you respond defensively "That's just not fair, and you know it." Letting out a heavy sigh, you gather the strength to continue, "Frankie, I've done everything I can to support you, but it's becoming painfully clear that my love and help have only pushed you deeper into whatever hell you are in right now. Damn it, maybe my mom was onto something. Maybe I am broken or completely unlovable. Maybe there's something wrong with me if my own husband can't trust his wife and turns to drugs instead." Tears well up as you wrap your arms around yourself, the weight of sobs stuck in your throat. The raw emotions in your voice make it clear that this pain cuts deep.

"No, no, no, Mi cielo, don't say that. I am so, so sorry. I didn't mean any of it, fuck, I didn't mean any of it. I know you tried; I know you've been trying for so long. You are not unlovable; you are the most amazing woman in the world. I am the one who doesn’t deserve you, I am the one who has never deserved you. Fuck I can’t believe I would say that to you, how could I make you feel like that." Frankie's voice loses its strength.

"None of this is your fault; it's all on me. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll go and seek help, and I promise you, I'll become the man that both you and Ella deserve," Frankie's voice quivers with remorse as he slowly approaches you, his arms outstretched, seeking to bring you into a comforting embrace.

But you are unable to bear your husband’s touch just yet and so you raise one trembling hand while keeping the other tightly wrapped around yourself, motioning for him to halt. "No, please... I can't handle your touch right now. I... I know I'll flinch, and it's not what you need, what Ella needs," you express with a quiver in your voice, a delicate blend of vulnerability and unwavering determination. "I'll be at work tomorrow, from 8 am to 6 pm, and Mrs. Hu will be taking care of Ella. You can come and collect anything you need during that time."

Frankie's sobs grip him overwhelmingly, tears cascading down his face like a torrent, but he manages to muster a nod of acceptance before slowly making his way toward the door. Just as his trembling hand reaches for the doorknob, he pauses, his gaze locked with yours, his voice barely a whisper choked with emotion.

"I'm really, really sorry, Mi cielo. The pain I've caused you is too much, and I carry the weight of my mistakes like a heavy burden. I want you to know that I take full responsibility for hurting our relationship and our family. It's all my fault, and I can't even find the words to express how deeply I regret everything."

His voice trembles, revealing the desperation in his heart as he goes on, “But please, trust me when I tell you that I won't give up. I won't let cocaine define who I can be. I'll find a way, no matter how tough the road ahead, to mend the broken parts of myself. I'll seek the help and guidance I need to heal, to become the husband and father that both you and Ella deserve."

And with that, he gathers the strength to turn away. His footsteps gradually fade as he leaves the room, leaving behind the lingering echoes of what you hope is Frankie’s sincere promise.

As the door closes, you crumble to the ground, consumed by doubt, pain, and anxiety. The weight of your actions bears down heavily, suffocating any shred of certainty. Questions flood your mind: Have you betrayed the sacred promises of your marriage? The thought gnaws at your conscience, tormenting you relentlessly. Perhaps, if you had been more understanding, more accommodating, this heart-wrenching situation could have been prevented. The self-blame intensifies, distorting your sense of self-worth into a hollow mockery.

Frankie has barely been gone for a few seconds, and yet your heart screams to chase after him. The urge to fix what's broken, to salvage the crumbling remnants of your relationship, grips you with an iron fist. But amidst the chaos of emotions, a flicker of clarity emerges. This painful separation, as agonizing as it feels, is something you need. It's a painful necessity for your own well-being, for the sake of Ella, and for the survival of your fractured family.

Trembling with uncertainty, you repeat to yourself like a desperate mantra, "You need this. You need this." Each word echoes with a haunting mix of determination, fear, and hope, reminding you of the bitter truth that sometimes, the most agonizing path is the only way forward.

You find yourself repeating the words over and over again, the echoes resounding through the shattered fragments of your soul. It becomes a desperate mantra, a chant that reverberates within the hollow chambers of your being: "You can't flinch. You mustn't flinch. You can't flinch. You mustn't flinch." Each repetition, like a plea to yourself, carries the weight of your determination to stay strong, to withstand the emotional turmoil that engulfs you.

Exhaustion eventually overtakes you, guiding your weary steps towards yours and Frankie's bedroom – now yours alone for the foreseeable future. As you reach the edge of your bed, a profound emptiness permeates your soul, accentuating the hollow void within. A sight catches your attention: the green duvet carelessly tossed on the floor, a remnant of the hasty morning departure.

 With a heavy sigh, you pick up the comforter, its fabric still carrying traces of Frankie's presence. Bringing it close to your face, you inhale deeply, drawing in his lingering scent, a bittersweet reminder of the love that once thrived in this room. Wrapping yourself in the duvet, you cocoon your fragile frame, seeking solace in its familiar itchy warmth. The world around you fades away as you surrender to a dreamless slumber, where you hope to find some respite from the relentless ache in your heart.

Next Chapter

[oscconfessions]

super duper hot take but god. i wish candle was handled better.

i’ve grown out of disliking her outright and now just… kind of yearn for what could’ve been. iii tries it’s best to both be lighthearted and character-driven, but that balance is poorly maintained and ends up with poorly written slop that doesn’t succeed at either, making it boring and downright assassinating characters at times.

i’ll go into a few characters that i think have been turned into shadows of their former selves, had wasted potential, or otherwise just plain didn’t need to be there.

first of these is Yinyang. I am the #1 yinyang fan, i am literally dating a fictive of them in our system (🥜🪶 anon comes out as a system real), but the arc the writers gave them feels a bit… off to me. The whole point was that they have a very sibling-like relationship, no matter if you see them as siblings or not, and they argued a bunch because that’s what siblings do. But in iii, they toned that down to the point of their character being nothing but sappy moments of them accepting eachother and then moving on. There’s barely any arguments or squabbles, which was what made them interesting. People who understand eachother can still have petty fights it came free with your fucking opinions.

Onto one I that I think could’ve had potential, Candle. If you’ve seen me before, chances are you might’ve seen my rant on how much I dislike Candle. She barely has any flaws except for being bad at communication— something that pretty much every ii character has at this point. There’s nothing to make her stand out and she’s very clearly a big favorite of the writers. And because of that favoritism, they don’t really give her any negative spotlight besides the obvious. Her viewing relationships as purely transactional is brushed off and forgiven by the end, with her not really learning anything from it. But there’s actual, genuine potential for her to be good, and that’s what frustrates me the most. If they didn’t focus on everything being lighthearted and gave her a scene on her own, where she thinks to herself and we get to see how she acts when she’s alone, i would consider that a win. Let her have flaws, and let her grieve over past mistakes. I don’t hate her, I just wish she was more.

And onto our final two, we have characters that straight up shouldn’t have been there at all! Starting with Box. I know Box was voted in as a joke— but to be honest it shouldn’t have even been on the poll at all. That’s not a contestant. That’s a gag that got tired and boring after the first few episodes. Someone else could’ve been given that spot— like Pickle or Mic or whoever else was on the poll without getting in. Box is a fundamentally bad character, and should not have been a contestant whatsoever.

Now, for the last one, is something that people may find a bit controversial. Bot should not exist. I like Bot— I really do. I think they’re neat. But they should not be here whatsoever. Bow is dead. She should not have been allowed to be in season 3. Even if it’s not exactly her, it’s still very clearly supposed to look like her. Let Bow rest. Make someone else take the spotlight for once. Have one of the least popular characters sneak onto the boat. Salt and Pepper literally WOULD DO THAT. Why would you have Bow show up AGAIN instead of actually putting in the effort to make your least likable characters learn to be better? Oh, I know why! You don’t actually care about storytelling and you just wanted to dangle the audience’s favorite characters in front of them so that they’d excuse you not working on the thing you’ve been promising for years! LET BOW REST. Actually put in the effort to make people care about characters they used to hate.

Sorry this was long and rant-y, I just. have a lot of gripes with ii it makes me so so angry

-🥜🪶 Anon

.

[otherworldseekers]

March of the Tropes prompt: Wound Tending

Skipping ahead to write a little scene in the new Enemies and Lovers au for a prompt. Slightly spicy, but cuts off before it gets very nsfw.

“Strip.”

The door of the little Inn room had barely closed behind her when the command filled the air, sending a shiver through her. Nero was sitting at a small table in the corner, his feet propped up on the table’s surface, his hands folded in his lap. He had the relaxed confidence of someone who is used to being obeyed and every fiber of her being yearned to obey him, but she resisted. It was all part of the game. 

Severia turned her back on him and took her time stowing away her weapons and assorted gear in another corner. Even so, she could feel his eyes on her, following her every move with that piercing gaze that always saw right through her. 

“You watched, I assume?” 

“Of course I watched,” Nero answered her. “It’s my job. And my pleasure.” 

“What did you think?” She went to stand before him now, but made no move to undo a single clasp or button. 

“Titan is certainly more impressive than Ifrit. There were a harrowing few moments where I thought he might knock you off that pillar.”

“I can’t say it wasn’t a close thing,” Severia admitted. 

“And yet you handled him with all the grace I’ve come to associate with you,” Nero said with a smug smile, as if her prowess were a matter of pride. “You do know you are making my work vastly more difficult.”

“Naturally,” she said with a sweet smile, making him huff in amusement. 

“Strip,” he issued the command again, a subtle growl in his voice that she couldn’t resist. 

Her hands went to the hem of her tunic and whisked it over her head, dropping it on the floor behind her. Nero locked eyes with her as boots, shorts and smallclothes joined the pile. Only when she stood bare before him did his gaze rove over her body. His brow furrowed and his lips curved downward. Severia looked down at herself and was taken aback by the numerous bruises and abrasions that scored her body. 

“On the bed,” Nero ordered. He stood from his chair at last fishing a small jar out of the pocket of his jacket before discarding the jacket on the table. “Lay down.”

“I’m fine. I’ve been healed,” Severia protested as she followed his instructions. 

“And these?” He pointed to the darkening splotches of red purple, the scrapes and mild burns. 

“Y’shola took care of anything serious.”

“Any wound can become serious if it’s not taken care of,” Nero argued reasonably as he unscrewed the lid of the jar and dipped his fingers in. “This Y’shtola is a very shoddy healer.” He withdrew two fingers covered in a reddish paste and proceeded to apply it to a bruise on her thigh. 

“What is it?”

“A healing salve I procured from a wandering Alchemist in the area,” Nero said with perfect nonchalance. “It should help rebalance the disrupted aether and speed your natural healing as well as reducing pain.”

Severia eyed him suspiciously. That… wasn’t how Alchemists operated. Had he… Had Nero gone out of his way to obtain this, knowing that she would be in poor condition after her battle? 

With meticulous patience he sought out every minor wound and rubbed the salve into her skin with such gentleness it made her blush. He’d never touched her like this before. He’d never cared for her before. Theirs wasn’t exactly that kind of relationship. She made a mental note not to get used to this. When he was done with her front he made her flip over onto her stomach, tsking when he saw the condition of her back. 

He missed not a single scored scale, and paid special attention to her horns and tail. She could have told him that these would simply grow over the damaged parts, but she couldn’t deny that it all felt wonderful. Pain had been an insistent hum in her mind that she had shoved to the background, but now that it was truly receding she felt her nerves relax. A contented sigh escaped her. 

“Better?” he said as her tail slid through his hands.

“Much. Thank you.” 

Nero’s hands slowly moved away from her injuries and began to explore, following the curves of her body. “You’re beautiful, Severia,” he murmured as his fingers splayed across her lower back. 

Her breath caught in her throat. She was turned away from him, and couldn’t see his face, but his voice was soft with the same gentleness his hands had shown. “Even battered and bruised?”

“Even so,” he said. “I’ve never seen such lovely bruises.”

Severia turned onto her side and huffed a laugh. “Now you’re teasing me.”

“Only a little,” Nero conceded and leaned in to kiss her. 

She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down on top of her. It felt like ages since he had last kissed her, even though it was only days. When she released him she asked, “When are you going to take your clothes off?”

He chuckled. “Right now.”

“Finally.”

[withlovewriting]

You’re On Your Own, Kid

Summary: You and Steve were best friends, until one hot Indiana summer, that didn’t seem enough.

Characters: Steve Harrington x Non-descriptive F!Reader.

Words: 3,556

Warnings: Angst. A kind of happy ending but not in the way you’ll want. Very brief implied mentions of sexual situations. Not so much Toxic!Steve, but he’s defo on that King!Steve shit. I am absolutely ignoring the entire story line of Strangers things, as am I ignoring the timeline of college applications etc. The story just fits better this way so i am uprooting everything anyone knows about american university. My bad. No use of y/n.

I also have really bad writers block, so I’m hoping this will help me pull through it.

Masterlist

Summer went away, Still the yearning stays, I play it cool with the best of them, I wait patiently, He's gonna notice me, It's okay, we're the best of friends

This years heatwave felt like no other. Indiana Summers were always hot, but this year it felt unbearable. Wiping the back of your hand across your forehead, trying in vain to stop the beads of sweat from dripping down your face you knocked loudly on the double, red doors.

"Alright, alright. Keep your hair on."

As soon as the door opened, you pushed yourself past your friend, making a beeline for the kitchen, grabbing a large glass of water and gulping at it.

"You were only out there for a couple of minutes." He smirked, watching you from the door frame that he leaned against.

Rolling your eyes, you placed the now empty glass into the sink and sent him a sarcastic grin, "So glad to know you can count, Harrington. Are the others here?"

Before he could reply, you heard Carol's loud screech, causing your head to jolt around and peer out of the window just in time to see Tommy throw Carol into the Harrington's pool.

Making your way outside, you placed your tote by a deckchair that hadn't already been claimed, laying out your towel and pulling off your loose fitted t-shirt and shuffling out of your shorts.

A loud wolf whistle came from Tommy, resulting in you sending him a finger as Carol's swift elbow to his ribs shut him up.

Relaxing back onto the deckchair, you could finally enjoy the sun's burning rays.

"Got you a beer."

A eye opened, watching as your best friend placed the opened can down by your deckchair, another in his own grip as he sat on the chair next to yours, "You know it's really not safe to lay out in the sun like that. Bet you haven't even got lotion on."

Sending a glare, your retort was quickly cut off when he pulled his own shirt over his head, revealing his lean torso, the tuft of hair on his chest thicker than you'd imagined.

Considering you'd known the boy since you were both in diapers, you could attest: Puberty had hit Steve Harrington hard.

His time as captain of the swim team and his previous summer of being a life-guard down at the community pool had done wonders, helping him grow into his gangling limbs. His position on the basketball team didn't hurt, either.

"You good?" His voice pulled you out of your own head, for once thankful of the absurd Indiana heat as you watched a single bead of sweat trail down his stomach, disappearing when it hit the band on his swim trunks.

Shaking your head a little, you sent him a tight-lipped smile before taking your beer, downing a few large mouthfuls to try and cool yourself down, "Totally. Just, hot, you know?"

"You know, I've heard a really, really good way to cool down in the hot weather."

His devilish smirk sent chills down your spine as he stood, moving closer to you. Your own playful smile tugged at your lips, knowing damn well what he was planning, "Don't even think about it, Harrington. I will kill you-"

His large hands heaved you into his arms bridal style as he made a sudden run for the pool, leaving you to tighten your grip around his neck, your own screeching that resembled Carol's from earlier falling from your mouth as your friends hollered and cheered Steve on as he leapt into the pool.

When you emerged, his arm now around your waist, you shoved at his chest a few times, spluttering as the chlorine filled water dripped from your nose, "Harrington!"

One of his hands left your side, helping to wipe the water from your face and out of your eyes before pushing his own hair back from his forehead. Between the humid weather and the pool activities, he had no point of styling it today anyway.

As he held you in his arms, you realized for the first time, you were crushing hard on your best friend.

I hear it in your voice, You're smoking with your boys, I touch my phone as if it's your face, I didn't choose this town, I dream of getting out, There's just one who could make me stay, All my days.

As the hot temperatures fell with the browned leaves of the trees, something had changed between yourself and Steve.

Twisting the phone cord, you could barely keep the gentle upturn of your lips as bay, "You really didn't have to call tonight, Steve. I know you're busy, really. I don't mind."

"I just missed your voice," he sighed softly down the phone, his altered state of mind made his lips a little loose.

"Are you high right now, Harrington?"

"Only a little," he sighed.

A few moments of silence passed between you both, his deep sighs showing that he was close to falling asleep. Deciding that maybe his his good mood might soften the blow of your news, you swallowed hard before softly saying his name,

"I, uh… I got an acceptance letter this morning."

"Awesome, Indianapolis?" You could almost see the grin that would stretch at his face, eyes full of pride, all to be shattered in your next sentence.

"UCLA," you whispered, almost hoping he didn't hear you, but your news seemed to sober him up.

After a few seconds of shuffling, you heard him much clearer, "Wait, what? I know you mentioned it but… I didn't think you were serious."

"Well, I didn't think I had a shot. But the letter came this morning and so long as I get my predicted grades, I'm in."

"Are you gonna accept?"

You remained silent for a moment, swallowing the lump that had crawled its way up your throat, "Would you be mad if I did?"

A small scoff fell from the boy's chest, but his words remained steady, "Mad? No way. Sad, though? I mean… You're my best friend. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Please, Harrington. We all know you'd do just fine without me."

"You know what? Give me 10 minutes, I'm coming over."

"Steve, you've been smoking and-"

"I'm fine, trust me. I didn't smoke that much, I can still drive."

True to his word, just under 15 minutes later, Steve Harrington came barreling through your open window as he sneaker caught on the frame.

"Holy shit, be quiet, my parents are asleep."

"I just, I needed to see you. You can't just drop a bomb like that over the phone."

You took a seat at the end of your bed, fiddling with your hands as they sat in your lap, "I applied to a few places. I'm still waiting for the letters back… California isn't set in stone."

Steve was pacing in front of you, hands threading through his hair as he tried to get his thoughts in order, "I know, I just… I thought the plan was to stay close to home. Close to me."

Grabbing the sleeve of his sweater as he passed you, you gently dragged him toward you. Taking a seat next to you, he finally seemed to settle a little.

"You know that me leaving Hawkins doesn't equate to me leaving you, right? You're always gonna be my best friend. No amount of miles will change that."

Steve placed his hand over yours, still cold from the autumn air, "That's not true, and you know it. You'll go off to sunny California, and some hot guy from your class will teach you how to surf, and you'll join a sorority and… Once you're gone, you'll never look back. I'll just be some guy from your hometown who's name you don't remember."

"Steve," you whispered softly, as if he were some cornered animal ready to bolt at any moment, "you know that's not true. I could never forget you."

The boy watched you for a moment in the low-light of your room, his eyes growing softer with each moment that passed. You knew that Steve – no matter how much he'd reject your opinion – had abandonment issues that stemmed from his childhood.

His father, a chronic cheater, would constantly be off on business trips, his shoes barely hitting the welcome mat before he was packing another weekend bag.

His wife, eventually found out about one of his out-of-town trysts, and Steve thought that would be the end of it. He expected a blow out fight, his mother to send her father packing, but it just never happened. Instead, his mother – despite being a respect woman of affluence around town – feigned ignorance and continued her role as housewife with only one exception. She now joined his father on every business trip.

Whilst it did mean his father couldn't continue his rendezvous as easily, it had a domino effect on the way he treated his son.

From a childhood of broken promises of camping and fishing weekends, to a back hand whenever Steve might dare toe the line of respect, Mr Harrington always seemed displeased. With his life, his wife, his son… You couldn't tell.

And still, his mother just sat by, putting the blame on her child, telling him not to provoke his father.

If Steve was honest, he thinks he preferred it when they weren't in town. At least that way he could be left to his own devices without someone scoffing at him over a newspaper during breakfast.

"Steve," you cupped his face, his downcast eyes glancing over your own, "I'd never leave you behind."

Before you could take another breath, the boys lips were pressed against your own, hard and demanding as though he was scared you'd vanish into thin air.

You'd be waiting for something like this, ever since the summer. Your friendship had changed along with the seasons, and you felt there was no going back now. You'd both crossed a line that couldn't be redrawn.

And as Steve's body pressed you down onto your mattress, his lips caressing your neck, small, soothing pecks after sharp nips, you realized that maybe you didn't have to leave. Maybe you had everything you'd ever need, right here in Hawkins.

Pulling his face into your hands and making him look at you, you whispered, "Ask me to stay. Ask me to stay, and I will."

His lips crashed back into yours, the passion exploding like fireworks on the fourth of July, the intensity of your words acting as an igniter.

And although he never muttered those words, you knew after that night, leaving just wouldn't be an option anymore.

From Sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes, I waited ages to see you there, I search the party of better bodies, Just to learn that you never cared

The Christmas lights hung around the Harrington household were Mrs. Harrington's parting gift before she left for a Christmas cruise with her husband, not planning on being back until after New Years.

You watched as they twinkled, the soft glow of reds, greens, yellows and blues illuminating the living room in a warm haze, just like the alcohol that swam through your veins did.

Neither of you had brought up the evening you'd spent together a few months ago, but it seemed you had settled into a softer relationship. You would hang out after school as usual, trying to force him to at least attempt his homework before giving up and munching on popcorn as you lazed around watching whatever film he'd picked up from Family Video that evening.

The conversation of your future didn't always come up, but even the slightest mention of California seemed to send Steve into a frenzy, barely giving you time to pull off your underwear before he was gently easing into you.

Soft words and even softer touches would remain for hours after, he'd keep you tight in his arms, but never allow himself to fall asleep. By the time you'd awaken the next morning, his side of the bed would be cold.

But your father knew of Steve's reputation around town as a ladies man – as did most of the parents in Hawkins – so you couldn't blame him for making a quick exit.

Taking another sip from the red solo cup you'd been refilling almost as quickly as you'd been draining it, you peered around the party, hoping to spot the host.

Steve was always busy at his own parties. Between the swim team and the basketball team, he remained on a tight loop of schmoozing, just like his mother had taught him. You'd lost sight of him about an hour ago, and as the minutes ticked down before you'd have to leave for curfew, you decided your best option was to just go find him and tell him the good news.

The acceptance letter from Indianapolis burned in your back pocket, and although you wanted to keep the secret until Christmas day, you knew the words would fall out of your mouth the moment you saw him.

You were going to accept Indianapolis. You were going to turn down UCLA. You were going to stay here, with him.

You'd no longer have to send small, knowing glances followed by fleeting smiles across the lunch table, and once you'd moved, he could come with you. You weren't overly optimistic about sharing an apartment with three other girls, anyway.

He'd no longer have to sneak out before he'd be noticed, and you could continue your nightly activities long into the morning if you so wished. You could finally be together, away from the gossip and reputations of the town.

Placing your cup on the small end table, you began to push your way through the room, the crowds of bodies dispersing just enough for you to squeeze by as they continued dancing the night away.

Tommy and Carol were off in the corner sucking face, and you'd seen a few of the basketball team grinding against the cheerleaders in the living room, and decided to head out toward the pool, where Steve would most likely be upside down, cementing his crown as Hawkins High's very own Keg King. A title you couldn't help roll you eyes at.

Sure, he had set a pretty impressive record, but Steve Harrington was not a boy who could handle his drink, which granted, most teenagers couldn't, either.

Thankfully, nobody was stupid enough to go for a winter's night swim, despite the heated pool, but it did mean that there were a lot more people hovering around outside, blocking your view.

"Hey, you seen Harrington anywhere?" you asked one of the cheerleaders from your Math class. She simply shrugged before returning to the drinking game she was playing.

With only two options left, and 10 minutes on the clock before you definitely had to leave, you decided to head up to Steve's bedroom, where he was most likely already face-down on his mattress, snoring the night away.

Few people hovered on the large staircase, chatting over the music as you pushed by. Taking a left at the long hallway, you knocked softly on the door, as if that would prepare you for what you were about to witness.

Steve was, in fact, face-down on his bed. Unfortunately, however, another body happened to be under him.

Sure, they were seemingly both clothed, the only item of clothing that had been removed was his yellow sweater that was crumpled up in a pile at the end of the bed, but the site still caused your heart to plummet.

"God, can't a man have some privacy in his own- oh. Shit, sorry."

Steve looked between you and the flushed girl, as if he genuinely didn't know what to do. A deer caught in headlights, or a fly caught in the spider's web.

The girl grumbled your name, an annoyed scoff falling from her plump lips, "God, get out!"

Despite all of the oxygen leaving your lungs, you quickly hurried back down the hallway, taking the steps two at a time.

You could hear Steve's calls from behind you as he tripped over his own feet, trying to tug on his sweater and ignore the staring eyes of the students he passed by. He didn't managed to catch up with you until you were half-way down the drive.

Panting, Steve grabbed your arm, forcing you to turn toward him. Letting your palm fly, you struck him against the cheek, guilt still somehow crawling up your spine when the red mark bloomed on his skin almost imminently.

You both remained silent for a moment, your chest heaving as you tried fruitlessly to catch your breath. Taking advantage of his few seconds of shock, you turned once more, marching away from the boy, the acceptance letter burning a hole in your back pocket.

You're on your own, kid, Yeah, you can face this

Packing up the last of your bags, you released a deep sigh before heaving them down the stairs of your family home. Sure, it wasn't necessarily a permanent move, but something about leaving felt so… final.

Of course, you would be back during the holidays whenever you could, but you weren't made of money, and it was a long car ride for just for a few days of home comforts.

Your father placed your last suitcase into the trunk, slamming it shut before wiggling the handle. The last thing you needed was to lose most of your packed clothes on the I-70.

You felt like you had been preparing for this day longer than you realized. A bittersweet feeling, dipping your toes into adulthood, even if you did still have the security of falling back on your parents if you needed to. But after everything that had happened, everything you had lost, you refused to allow college to be one of them. Especially when you'd already almost lost it once.

The screeching of tires caused you all to halt your actions, a loud huff from your father when Steve Harrington almost fell from his maroon BMW, tripping over his white sneakers to get to you.

His hair was a mess -- something that was unbelievably unlike Steve -- and his eyes were shining with what could only be guilt.

He had tried to speak to you after his Christmas party, but you'd managed to escape any interaction with him so far. You hadn't outright told your parents what had gone on between the two of you -- you weren't looking to get the boy killed, and yourself grounded for life -- but it was evident something had transpired between you both, causing the rift.

"Can I speak with you?" his eyes darted toward the direction of your parents, suddenly seeming a little meeker "Alone?"

Despite the delay his sudden arrival would have on your travel time, you agreed, waiting until your family made their way back inside.

"What do you want, Harrington?"

"I just... I needed to come see you, before you left. Carol told me about UCLA and I... It just didn't feel right to let you go without seeing you first."

Rolling your eyes, you opened the driver's side, throwing your back onto the passenger seat, "Well, don't worry, Steve. Now your conscience is cleared. Have a nice life."

His hand caught the car door before you could settle yourself into the seat, blocking you from entering the car, "Please, I didn't mean that. I just... You told me, that night. You told me that if I asked you to stay, that you would."

It felt like such a long time ago, yet his weak and wobbly voice still tugged at your heartstrings. you knew what he was getting at before he'd even began to say it. Steve Harrington knew that with one word, he could change the whole trajectory of your life.

"Stay, please. Stay here with me."

And if this had been Summer, or Fall you. Then you would've. In a heartbeat, without hesitation. It was hard to think about what your life could be. A small, one bedroom flat with Steve, the new friends you'd make at the University of Indianapolis would fawn over your love story. Boy meets girl. Girl falls in love with boy on hot summer. Boy asks girl to stay. And she does.

Except this time, she didn't.

Steve watched from his car as your own vehicle pulled off the drive, bags all packed, goodbyes said, and promise of calling as soon as you arrived at your first stop in your cross-country road trip.

You took a moment as you passed him, sending him a small wave, the ghost of a peaceful smile tugging at your lips when his downcast eyes met yours, hand raising to return to wave regardless.

Winding down the window as you made your way throughout the small town of Hawkins, passing by the 'Thank you for visiting Hawkins, Indiana. Drive safe' you released a deep breath that you were certain you'd been holding in all of your life.

Hawkins wasn't the end of your story, and Steve Harrington wasn't the be-all and end-all.

California was only the beginning.

You're on your own, kid, You always have been

[neptoons1998]

i, carrion (icarian)

A/N: I blame Hozier..... something about a man yearning for a woman makes me swoon.

Tag Gang: @mal-urameshi @s0lam3y @xchoxix @somethingcleaverandwhitty

Summary: priestess! Riri x princess! Shuri. Shuri starts loving the religion.

Shuri would say her relationship with Bast was one of the outs. It wasn’t a shocker to anyone close to the princess who scoffs at traditions. Whose belief in science and innovation was the true success of her nation. Then why does she keep coming to Bast’s alter? One might ask. The answer was simple. The new priestess is training Riri. The young woman was roughly Shuri’s age, the old priestess and her mother thought Riri would be the one to convert Shuri back to the religion. But really Shuri keeps coming back to luring Riri.  

“And how are you, priestess?” Shuri commented Riri giving a soft laugh while covering her mouth with her hand.

“Oh, princess you should know by now. That you shouldn’t flirt with wives of Bast,” Riri jokes while Shuri rolls her eyes. From where the princess stood she should be able to pick Riri before Bast, “And I’m not a priestess yet,” Riri explained as she moved away from the royal. Shuri couldn’t help but like this tug and pull she had with Riri. Shuri felt seen by her than anyone close to her. Her brother too consumed with his role as the new king with their mother's help and guidance. Leaving Shuri to tinker in her lab, having her days blending together. 

The burden of being the spare. 

Shuri quickly got rid of her thoughts as she watched the priestess in training watering the new heart-shaped herbs, which was recently planted. Shuri wanted to sketch Riri’s movement in her brain. Something so mundane as watering the plants was enough for Shuri’s crush to be so hard. 

Shuri doesn’t know but her mouth decides to make her talk, “Why did you choose to be a priestess?”

Riri was quiet for a moment thinking about why she decided to live the rest of her life to help serve Bast and her people.

“I get to help people,” Riri spoke before getting off her knees and coming closer to the princess, “Some people need someone to believe in. Not all of us can just rely on science.”

“But science is fundamental,” Shuri argued as she pointed her finger at her, “There is always a cause and effect to anything.”

“Or it can be how the way things are,” Riri commented. Shuri couldn’t or rather didn’t want to look away from Riri. Her doe-like eyes made Shuri numbly swallow forcing herself to look away from Riri. 

“Let’s just say agree to disagree, hm?” Shuri said as she wiped off the fake dust that lay on her white dress. 

Riri smirked at Shuri’s comment, “Whatever you say, your highness.”

Shuri could only smile at her. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen Shuri thought as twisted her fingers, “So when’s the ceremony?” 

The ceremony that would put this cat and mouse to an end.  The ceremony would promise herself to be pure and holy to Bast in order for her to her one of many wives. Having that knowledge and knowing the outcome cracked Shuri’s heart a lot. The one person who didn’t want her to change; letting her be herself. Letting her insult and make jokes about the goddess that Riri fully intends to marry in the afterlife. This was the only time Shuri was ever envious of the imaginary figure. 

 Riri smiled at her, “Why do you want to stop it to have me all by yourself?” 

“Maybe,” a few beats past before the words tumbled out of Shuri’s mouth, “Yes.”

“Well are you a nice kidnapper,” Riri commented as she let the princess hold her hand. Letting the royal pretend that she could magically whisked her away from her duties and her promise to Bast. 

“Only the kindness, “ Shuri retorted as she looked loving into her eyes. The pair both knew that in a different world, they would be together, just not this one. 

[anaveragebibliophile]

All Smiles (Carlisle Cullen x OC)

You’d think that that part would’ve been easy. You’d think that the minute he heard of the vision he’d have run. You���d think that that insatiable desire to fight for his family would’ve sparked a fire within him to leave and allow Rosalie and Emmett to take the reins. 

No. Not by a long shot.

Instead, here we were two hours later. Still on the couch. Still nowhere closer to getting him to see reason. 

“I can’t just leave you, El,” my husband said. “You’re still ill, and you’re not getting any better. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened while I was away.” 

Placing a hand on my growing belly, I gave him my most disapproving look. Once his eyes caught mine, he immediately looked away, chagrined. 

Clearing my throat, I began. My voice was even hoarser than in days past (if that was even possible at this point).

“Honey, let’s be realistic here. You staying here isn’t going to increase the probability of a timely recovery any more than you leaving. What’s more, this little guy enjoys the pampering I’m getting. He’s not going to want to end this anytime soon.”

As a phoenix, a resurrector of the dead and believer in the goodness that the life of all beings brings, I’m capable of connecting with any being, those that are living, dead, or on the periphery. In this case, our son, the little dude in my belly, would be considered as a being on the periphery. He’s alive but not co-existing with us in the land of the living just yet. However, despite that, I have been able to establish a connection with him that allows me to determine who he is, who he’s going to grow up to be, and what he’s capable of. 

With respect to what he’s capable of, manipulating situations is a big one. And while it might seem like this is a malicious act on his part, the truth is that he has good, kind intentions. Out of his love for me, he wants his father to continue to shower me with his love and compassion. He wants his father to remain dedicated to his mother. Ultimately, this allows our child to understand Carlisle better. It goes without saying that their bond has strengthened over the last few months. At this point, my husband can barely keep away from the both of us. 

So, how did our little guy manipulate the situation this time? Well, it would seem that he compromised my immune system somehow, leaving me with one of the worst flu strains I’ve had in years. And the best part is that he’s the only one that can decide when it will end. Not Carlisle. Not me. Not medical science. Just him. And considering the fact that his father has been within close proximity around the clock, I wouldn’t count on any reversal anytime soon. 

“That doesn’t mean you should be without medical assistance. Rosalie and Emmett, albeit resourceful, aren’t doctors,” Carlisle retorted, his hand moving towards my bump, waiting for his son to kick him hello. 

Soon enough, it happened. We both grinned down at the beautiful creature just waiting to make his appearance. Only a few more weeks to go. 

Looking down, I responded. “I know they’re not doctors, sweetheart. I just think that we shouldn’t take any chances where Bella’s concerned. She’s still human. And she has a family. What if that were him?” 

“I understand what you mean. She will be our daughter-in-law sooner than later.”

“Much sooner than you think.” 

Alice isn’t the only one that had visions in this coven. I do too. The only difference is that mine are pretty inconsistent. I’m always given myriad possibilities and unable to determine which is the correct one. Yet, we had all agreed that any vision would be taken seriously because it’s validity depends on the choices one decides to make. In this case, we don’t know if Bella’s decisions are going to force her into a potentially harmful confrontation with Jane in Volterra or not. Only time will tell. 

But that was why Alice and I wanted Carlisle to be out there with Bella and Edward. Just in case. 

That yearning doesn’t seem to be getting us anywhere though. 

“Please, darling,” I said. “Do it for me. I’m telling you that I feel well enough to have Rosalie and Emmett watch over me. If I didn’t, I would’ve demanded that you stay.” 

It was so obvious that he was torn. His gaze turned away from mine and down to our son once again, his brows pinching in both frustration and agony. “I know, darling, I know. It just doesn’t sit well with me. As a husband and a father, it’s my duty to be present and attentive to your needs as well as his. I feel like I’m doing you both a disservice by traveling to Italy when there’s been no indication that she’s been harmed.” 

“If it’s any consolation, I still believe she’s at risk. I just have this gut feeling.” 

Mulling that over for a few moments, my husband sighed in resignation. “Then it’s settled. I’ll go. Let me go speak to Rosalie and Emmett.” 

At that response, I leaned forward from my spot in front of, let’s just say, a ton of support pillows, completely preventing Carlisle from moving away from me. 

Cupping his cheek, I smiled at him. “You’re such a good man, Carlisle Cullen. I hope you know that.” 

His hand reached up to his cheek to grasp mine, leaving all the unspoken words to be heard and appreciated with just that one touch. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Now, remember that her nightly dose of Amoxicillin must be given at eight o’clock if she wants to be eligible to take it early tomorrow morning. And as far as comfort levels go, she’ll want her pregnancy pillow that’s laying on our bed upstairs, the heating pad for her lower back–which is in my office–, and some tea as well. Earl Grey, to be specific, which can be found—”

“Carlisle, it’s okay, we’ve got it,” Rosalie said, sitting down next to me. “Eloise will be in excellent hands, so you don’t need to worry so much. We’ve read your notes three times over and will consult them if need be. Plus, she’ll have her phone on her, I’m sure, so you can contact her whenever you please.” 

“Rose’s right, Carlisle,” Emmett interjected. “We promise to be extra vigilant and prudent. We understand how important they both are. We love them too. But it will all work itself out. It doesn’t look like she’s going anywhere anyhow.” 

All her husband could do was nod, watching as I shrugged and blew my nose. The look of agony on his face was all I needed to know that this separation was going to destroy him. But it needed to be done, for the sake of our family and our sanity. 

“Thank you. Thank you both.” 

Dropping his carry-on, the only bag he was bringing, my husband came to kneel beside me on the couch. Kneading his fingers through my hair, he pressed a lingering kiss to my forehead, savoring the last few moments we would have together for a few days.

Him and me both. 

“I’ll see you soon, okay? Call me if you need me.” 

“Will do, sweetheart. Now, go be amazing. I’ll be here, keeping our little one safe,” I said, watching as our son wanted to get in on the action. 

Kissing my forehead one last time and then my lips, he moved to place a long, loving kiss on my belly. 

“I love you both. I’ll see you soon.” he said, all smiles. 

[nakianshuri]

Based on a few posts against Stancy that I’ve read in passing that last few months, I realized that to ship Stancy, you have actually have to believe Steve and Nancy’s stories as they are being told. Specifically, you have to accept two things: 1) Steve and Nancy have changed and 2) they have shared trauma (Barb’s death), and to complete their arcs, imo, they (specifically Nancy) must dissociate themselves from the shame connected to that trauma. 

Dealing with shame

Yes, Vecna tells Nancy that she killed Barb, but that’s just as ridiculous as him telling Max thinking she was to blame for Billy’s death. Vecna’s not a reliable narrator here. He’s a manipulator and feeds off people’s isolation, secrets, and shame. We saw that most recently in s4 with Chrissy, Fred, Patrick, and Max, who were all struggling with negative self-images based on past trauma.

Nancy once also told Steve that they killed Barb, but again, that makes just as much sense of Max believing that wishing for Billy’s death literally led to his death. None of that is true, but it is reflective of the shame they are both carrying, and both Nancy and Max have pushed their partners away (Steve and Lucas) because that shame has led them to think less of themselves and their relationships. 

Ultimately, Max is not to blame for Billy’s death. Nancy and Steve aren’t to blame for Barb’s death. Both Max and Nancy need to understand that to free themselves of Vecna and move forward (assuming Max gets out of her coma).

Accepting change

This is the hardest part for a lot of viewers online who are against Stancy imo. I’ve seen a lot of posts that have said Steve deserves better than Nancy or Nancy deserves better than Steve based on how they’ve treated each other in the past, which is more fan projection than anything to do with the story being told. Nancy hurt Steve, but he literally thanks her for it, and Nancy got back together with Steve even after his friends publicly slut shame her after thinking she was cheating on him with Jonathan. People may not like that she forgave him after that, or that she forgave Jonathan for the photos, but all of the characters have moved on from those events.

The only thing haunting Steve and Nancy is the baggage left after Barb’s death. Just as Lucas says he didn’t truly see Max or what she was dealing with, neither did Steve in seasons 1 and 2. Steve did not help Nancy in the way she needed it. He wanted to comfort her and keep them safe; she wanted to take action. However, that’s not the dynamic at all now. Nancy leads the charge against Vecna, and Steve follows as support. Steve now leaps into danger every season to protect people he cares about deeply. Steve and Nancy as they are now would function entirely differently than Stancy of season 1 and 2, which is why Steve doesn’t yearn for the relationship as it was but thinks they would work because they have changed. 

People can enjoy Steve in non canon relationships, prefer him in previous seasons as much as they like, or ignore his character development as much as they please, and they can have fun with Nancy in other non-canon relationships or imagine her as feeling differently than what they’ve show onscreen. There are all kinds of ways to engage in media.

But the show’s only obligation is to be consistent in the story it’s telling, not the story other fans are telling themselves based on their own biases, desires, and personal experiences. What the story the show has been telling us so far is that Steve and Nancy is that have changed and that carrying shame and negative self-evaluation based on trauma is detrimental to the traumatized person, their relationships with others, and their growth. That to me makes for an infinitely more interesting story than two people whose feelings never change, who never evolve, who define themselves by the shame they carry, and who can’t see each other for who they’ve grown to be. 

[foolondahill17]

We’re Emmanatural posting, so here’s Dean meeting Emma in Purgatory: 

On the sixty-third day, Benny remarks into the quiet, stifling gloom of the forest, "Something's following us."

There's fog in purgatory, apparently. The past week, the woods have been stuffed with it, thick as cotton and heavy in Dean's lungs.

"Can you tell what it is?" Dean asks, propping himself on his elbows. It ain't like Benny needs to sleep, so he usually keeps guard while Dean catches his two-to-three hours. Dean doesn't understand it; he's technically still alive. He sleeps, eats, and shits like he did on Earth, but this is the land of monster souls. It must be some kind of metaphysical mumbo jumbo. Cas would explain it to him.

Hear that, Cas? Dean prays for good measure. I expect an explanation when I find you... Go all Bill Nye, even if I can't understand it.

"No," Benny answers Dean's question. He stands with his chin lifted, scenting the air. "Ain't something I've smelled before."

"Something new?" Dean asks, refusing to let the way his heart picks up speed come through his voice.

But Benny probably hears the acceleration of his blood, because he shakes his head. "Sorry, chief. It ain't your angel, I can tell you that much. Could be something I've never met before. There's plenty of rare monsters. Or things that don't come out of hiding often."

That doesn't sound good. Dean looks around him, but he sees nothing but the rough bark of trees, fading to hulking shadows, before they're overtaken by thick mist. "It close?" Dean asks.

Benny shakes his head. "About a day's walk," he replies. "Figure it picked up our trail. Stalking us, maybe."

Dean shivers. It's not the layer of cold sweat on his body that does it. Dean's not used to being prey. "That's not ominous.”

Benny chuckles darkly. "Been following at the same pace for a while now, maybe," he says. "Didn't notice it at first - this whole place fucking stinks. But I think I'm sure now."

"Wonder what it wants?" Dean mutters. He lays back down, hands under the back of his head, bad leg propped on Benny’s jacket. If it's a day away, there's no sense worrying about it now. Dean's eyes itch with tiredness, and his body is nothing but one solid ache; he can't afford to put off sleep whenever he gets the opportunity.

"Maybe it'll stay behind us," Benny offers. They both know that's idle hope.

"And maybe it's the fucking tooth fairy," Dean says.

Benny laughs again. Dean closes his eyes. "That'd be the day," he agrees.

OOO

On the eighty-seventh day, they cut through a murky, static body of water and double back behind a rocky outcrop. They wait for their pursuer, barely moving for hours on end until Dean’s bad leg tightens into a sharp wad of pain.

Finally, a small figure emerges from the dark of the forest. Dean sees a flash of her tangled, light hair before Benny launches himself at her with a snarl, blade raised overhead.

“No!” Dean yells. His heart clogs his throat. He can barely hobble forward on his crutch. He can barely think.

Benny stills. The figure braces herself on the ground, two knives raised in her fists. Her green eyes spark. Her teeth are bared.

“Stop,” Dean gasps. “I know her.” Benny looks at him, startled. Dean takes a deep breath, “She’s my daughter.”

OOO

“You haven’t learned,” Emma tells him from across the fire. The orange flames make her face glow. Her skin is gray and gaunt, but there’s still a youthfulness to her eyes and mouth. “Mercy will get you nowhere. You should kill me before I stab you in the back.”

“She has a point,” Benny says.

“Shut up,” Dean grunts. He turns over the strange, scurrying rodent he managed to trap for dinner. His leg is extended, braced under the knee again. It’s the only way to somewhat lesson the pain. “You’ve been following us for days,” Dean says to Emma. “Why’d you kill us now?”

Emma doesn’t respond. She folds her arms over her stomach, and for a moment Dean can only see Ben in one of his teenage bitch-fits. The thought sinks a solid stone of yearning into Dean’s belly. He misses home. 

I miss you, Dean prays. It’s habit, by now. Half the time he’s not even aware he’s sending a prayer to Cas. It’s as natural as breathing.

“You’re going the wrong direction,” Emma finally says. “If you’re trying to get back to Earth – there’s a…I don’t know what it is. But the boundary is weakest in that direction. Beyond the river.” She throws her arm into the thickness of the forest.

Dean raises an eyebrow at her sudden helpfulness. Benny doesn’t hold back his suspicion, “And you’re telling us this, why? You got some friends waiting to pick us off?”

“Friends,” Emma scoffs. The cynicism in her voice makes a fist close in Dean’s gut. She sounds like him when he was in high school, when the concept of strangers wanting friendship from him was more alien than a consistent place to sleep each night. “There’s no such thing down here.” She juts her chin toward Benny before looking pointedly at Dean. “You’re just waiting for the best moment to tear out his throat.”

“You’re young,” Benny replies. “But old enough to realize you don’t get rid of a free ticket.”

“You think he can bring you back to Earth?” Emma guesses.

“I know he can,” Benny replies. 

“See?” Emma declares. She doesn’t look away from Dean. “He’s only using you.”

Dean shrugs. This isn’t new information. He takes the hairy, burnt-to-a-crisp thing off the flames and moves it to his lap. “We’ve got a deal. He helps me. I help him. It’s the circle of life. Hakuna Matata, or whatever.”

Emma narrows her eyes at him. “I don’t understand. He helps you with what? Walking in circles?”

“We’re looking for someone,” Dean replies.

“For revenge?” Emma replies, nose scrunching a little in a way that makes another bolt land in the space between Dean’s ribs. She’s so fucking young. She shouldn’t be here.

“No.” It’s a struggle to keep his emotions out of his voice. “Someone I know from Earth. Another friend.”

Emma answers with a scoff and a shake of her head. Her hair is ragged and full of leaves and twigs. She has it pulled back from her face with a strand of fabric Dean recognizes as the torn hem of her pink t-shirt. It’s the same shirt she died in. Dean held her as she bled warm into his lap.

“What about you, huh?” Benny asks, voice aggressive. He’s clearly not convinced by Dean’s decision not to kill Emma, but like hell is Dean going to watch his daughter die twice. “Why are you following us?”

Emma finally drags her eyes away from Dean. “I recognized him from Earth,” she says.

“And you wanted to have a chat with dear old dad?” Benny sneers. Dean knows he does it as a dig at Emma, but he hides his own wince.

“The fact that he’s my father doesn’t matter,” Emma spits. “I was supposed to kill him. I wanted to find out how he got here.”

“Me and my friend got dragged here by accident,” Dean answers patiently.

“So?” Emma demands. “You say you know how to get out – then leave.”

“I’m not leaving my friend,” Dean says stubbornly.

Emma shakes her head at him. “Why?” she insists. Dean can tell she’s getting frustrated. Her face is turning red. Her shoulders are tense. “What do you owe him?”

“I don’t owe him anything,” Dean says. He continues, voice thick in his throat, “I care about him. You help the people you care about.”

“My mother was right,” Emma says derisively. “Men are irrational and foolish.” She stands, brushing her hands off on her ratty black jeans. The hems are caked with mud and the knees are torn through.

“You going somewhere?” Benny growls, moving for his weapon.

“I’ll cut through your throat before you can blink, vampire,” Emma says fiercely.

“Hey,” Dean says sharply. “Stand down, Benny. She’s not our prisoner.”

Emma gives Dean a startled look before schooling her features into a glare, levelled particularly hard at Benny.

“You’re going to get yourself killed,” she warns Dean.

“I have before,” Dean allows. Emma gives him one last headshake before tossing her hair behind her shoulder and jogging back into the forest. She disappears into the gloom and reaching branches within seconds.

OOO

On the ninety-second day, Benny tells Dean, eyes scanning the woods as they march steadily forward, “She’s still watching us.”

Dean shrugs. Even his human senses, honed as they are by a constant state of alertness, have caught wind of his daughter’s continued pursual. He’ll occasionally hear a muffled footstep behind them or once or twice caught sight of her incongruent pink t-shirt among the desaturated greens and grays.

“I’m not gonna stop her,” Dean replies.

“She’s right, you know,” Benny says wryly. “You’re gonna get yourself killed one day.”

OOO

On the one-hundred and fifteenth day, Dean and Benny stumble directly into a pack of seven leering Leviathans. They ooze black goo from their mouths and eyes, like their vessels are weakened and splintering in Purrgatory’s noxious air.

There are too many of them. They can’t be killed. And they quickly cut off any chance of retreat when they surround Dean and Benny in a tight ring, choking them off from any hope of escape.

Dean figures this really is it, this time. He trusts Sam to do his best back on Earth to bring him back, but by the time he figures out a way, he’ll be summoning Dean’s corpse.

Dean and Benny stand back-to-back, frantically swiping and slashing through the hoard. Sweat pours down Dean’s back and from his armpits. His heartbeat throbs against his ribs.

Cas, I’m sorry, he prays as he sends a Leviathan head toppling to the ground, only to be replaced by another gaping, jagged maw.

One of the Leviathans catches Dean’s arm and whips him toward the ground like some kind of WWE wrestler. Dean’s arm wrenches out of the socket with an audible pop. He coughs in pain. The back of his head hits the ground hard enough to gray out his vision.

The Leviathan is on top of him, full weight crushing Dean’s chest and making it impossible to breathe.

Emma leaps out of the tree above them with a formless cry. In a flurry of hair and long limbs, she lands on the back of the Leviathan. Her added weight sends a rush of air out of Dean’s crushed lungs. Without hesitation, Emma draws one of her pointed knives through the throat of the Leviathan. Its head goes flying. Black blood sprays across Dean’s face. His eyes shut on instinct.

When he opens them again, Emma is on her feet, dispatching another Leviathan from behind as it bears down on Benny. Its head spins through the air before landing with a wet thump on the ground.

The last two Leviathans simultaneously realize they’re now outnumbered and they turn tail and crash away through the woods, leaving the clearing starkly silent save for Benny and Emma’s ragged breathing.

Dean extracts himself from under the oozing Leviathan corpse with difficulty. His shoulder throbs with sick heat. It’s his left again, the one he dislocated for the first time on a salt and burn when he was fourteen.

Benny notices his struggle and jogs over to help. He tugs Dean to his feet. Dean’s leg buckles beneath him and Benny hauls him over to his discarded crutch on the ground. Fitting the crutch firmly under his good arm, Dean nods at Benny, breathless with pain and waning adrenaline, “Thanks.”

“Don’t thank me,” Benny says, raising an eyebrow. Together, they look at Emma.

She appears somehow both self-conscious and defiant, holding her shoulders hunched yet chin tipped high, as if daring them to say something.

“Thanks,” Dean tells her, too.

“You don’t belong here,” Emma says sharply, by way of explanation. “The sooner you find your friend, the sooner you can leave.”

OOO

On the one-hundred and twentieth day, while waiting to snare another of those weird ground squirrels or maybe one of the quick, scaly lizards Dean’s seen scurrying up trees or under bushes, Emma joins him behind a tree. His bad leg is extended over the ground and his other knee is drawn to his chest.

His left arm is still strapped to his chest with a spare shirt they stripped from one of the Leviathans before burning the bodies. Dean doesn’t know how much more abuse his body can take before giving out on him entirely. 

Emma doesn’t speak when she arrives. Dean wonders if she was just curious about what he was doing while Benny started a fire at the campsite about a hundred yards away.

“You’re not exactly thrilled to travel with us,” Dean remarks, half-way afraid giving voice to this thought will make Emma scamper into the woods, again. “Why not find some of your Amazon pals, huh? Sorry, er, gals.”

Emma huffs. “You think the first thing I did when I arrived wasn’t to look for my foremothers? They don’t give a – shit,” she says the curse carefully. It’s a habit she’s picked up from Dean. In fact, she’s losing her formal, stilted language a little more every day she follows Benny and Dean deeper into Purgatory.

“Sorry,” Deans says simply.

Emma laughs again. “Don’t be. They’re right to be cold. There’s no trust here.”

“It’s a brutal place,” he agrees.

“Yet you and the vampire,” Emma begins.

“Benny,” Dean corrects her.

Emma rolls her eyes, and she looks so much like Sammy it makes Dean’s breath curl into a rock in his lungs.

“You and Benny,” Emma allows before plowing ahead. “Pretend to trust each other. And you trust that your missing friend won’t have already found a way out and abandoned you here.”

“I told you,” Dean says. “I care about him. You trust the people you care about.” It hasn’t always been true: Cas and Dean have broken each other’s trust more times than Dean can count, but, now, trust is all Dean has left. He has to believe Cas is waiting for him, just like he has to believe Sammy is working on getting them both out. If Dean stops believing that, he’ll crumble.

“You don’t trust me,” Emma tests him. Dean wonders if what she really wants to ask is if Dean cares about her. He does. He’d tell her if he wasn’t positive it would make her run.

“I trust that you need me, right now,” Dean says. “You’re like Benny – you need someone to help you get out.”

“You’d do that for me?” Emma tries, eyes slits as she reads him for a lie. Dean’s never been good at being easy to read, but he tries to keep his face open and honest. He wants – he wants –

He wants her to trust him. He’ll start with that. He can look at what else he wants later. Once they’re out of this cesspool. There’s room only for basic needs here: Dean needs food, water, sleep. He needs a goal to keep himself moving. Want is a luxury.

“Like hell am I leaving you down here,” Dean says. When she looks doubtful, Dean adds, “You saved my life, right? I owe you, now.”

OOO

On the one-hundred and forty-eighth day, Dean’s watch stops ticking. He taps the useless piece of metal and plastic on his wrist, but the hands on the clock only jerk a little from the motion. Dean takes the thing off his arm and puts it in his pocket; the batteries are probably dead.

The perpetual gray twilight streams downward through the branches and thick leaves. There’s nothing to do but keep walking. Read more if you want

[vesperadreamer]

The Siren

You were exhausted from the day and needed to get away from your family as well. The pier always brought you relief and relaxation, just listening to the sea helped to wash away your worries and stresses from the day. You laid back and listened closely, something caught your attention and you shot up trying to listen closer. It sounded like a woman was singing, though the song seemed to be one of longing and yearning. You had to find the source to sate your curiosity and hopefully you could give them some company on a lonely moonlit night.

You followed the source as best you could by ear, letting the song slowly guide you towards your destination. You came to the opening of a cave and carefully moved inside and spotted the source, a woman sitting on a rock lit up by the moon as she sang. However you noticed something wrong, she wasn’t human in fact she looked like she came from the ocean. You saw her legs and arms, her webbed hands and feet, and the finned tail just slightly swaying. You’ve never seen a creature like her before let alone read of one, what could she be you wondered.

You approached slowly and silently before taking a careful seat in the sand as you watched her. How beautiful she was, how mesmerising her voice was, it all mixed together making you want to be with her, stay as long as you could. When her song stopped, you realised that she had been watching you at some point. “What is a human like you doing here? Shouldn’t your kind be at home and sleeping? Do you not know what my kind does to pretty little humans like you? Do you even know what I am?”

So many questions at once, but they were also simple, “I was enjoying the peace and quiet away from people, letting the sea wash away my worries and stress from the day until I heard your singing and followed it. Other than that, I don’t know what you are, I don’t even think I’ve read about your kind.” She laughed at your answers, probably finding them funny before she gave you a wide grin. “I am a siren and you may call me Siren, my sweet pearl. We lead people astray with song and beauty before watching them fall into the sea to be devoured by us.”

Fear gripped you, you swore sirens were either bird-like or had fish lower halves but now you knew the reality of how they could walk on land just devour you whenever. “I won’t eat a pretty little thing like you, my pearl. We only go after those with blackened hearts full of corruption, sin and evil. Its a special sight of ours so don’t you worry.” You relaxed a bit and thought about how if she wanted you dead then she could have just done it while you were entranced by her song and beauty. Maybe she wasn’t bad.

She hopped down and you got a proper look at her, she really did have mythological beauty all things considered. She held out a hand and you looked at it, then at her curiously. “Would you like to see my world? It might help you relax, though I doubt you want to get your clothing wet.” Wait what? You blinked for a moment as you looked at yourself and back at her, she didn’t wear clothes, she was naked. You hid your face behind your hands, sure you were different cultures and people but you expected some modesty. Did they not wear clothing? Did they just not care for it? You really couldn’t tell.

“Theres no reason to be afraid my dear pearl, I’ll be keeping you safe for the entire trip.” You drank in her words and mulled them over, she thought you afraid and not shy or embarrassed. She really didn’t seem to care about the thought of nudity, it was possibly quite natural for her. You sighed and began to slowly and reluctantly remove your clothes, this probably wouldn’t be the only difference you’d see between your worlds, but you certainly hoped it’d be the last embarrassing one. You took her hand once you were finished and she slowly led you into the water, you took a deep and final breath just before you fully submerged.

Everything rushed past you as she held you close, the world under the water’s surface was beautifully lit up by the moonlight. You watched a school swim past you and they had quite a variety of wonderful colours. It didn’t take long before you needed air and badly, you began to squirm and struggle as Siren seemed to watch before turning you around to face her and kiss you. Her kiss caught you by surprise before you realised she was providing you air, making sure you’d be able to stay long and see more of her world. Her world was so much different than yours and you were more than happy to learn about it.

There wasn’t just an entire world beneath the water’s surface, it felt like an entirely different existence altogether. You saw so much life before you, all swimming past as the two of you moved gracefully through the waters. Your eyes were slowly met with a sight of vibrant colours and life, a forest made entirely of kelp and coral housing so many creatures. This was a beauty beyond your imagination, something that you’d never have been able to experience had you turned Siren’s offer down. You wanted her to show you more, you wanted to experience so much more of what she had to offer.

Your heart began to race when sharks began to circle the two of you, were they hungry and planning to eat you? You watched as Siren held out a hand and one of the sharks moved in to brush against it, letting her pet it. She grabbed one of your hands and held it out for you as another shark moved in to brush against you. You could pet the sharks, you were petting the sharks. The sharks were quite affectionate and friendly as you pet them, they almost reminded you of dogs with how they seemed to enjoy the attention. You loved it all, you loved this world Siren was showing and you couldn’t help but wonder what more there was to explore.

She pulled you along and deep into the waters through a dizzying cave system, where was she taking you this time? What was she going to show you? You both surfaced underneath the moonlight in an open top cave with an island in the middle where she placed you at the centre. You looked around curiously as you breathed in the surface air, what was she going to show you this time? She gave you a smile as she sat down, taking your hand in hers. “My dear, wouldn’t you like to throw away your stressful life on the surface? Wouldn’t you like a permanent place with me? You’ll be well fed and taken care of, that I promise.” 

The offer was extremely tempting, could you even really resist seeing such wonders constantly? No need to work or please strangers or family, nobody yelling at you for a small mistake, it was all such a wonderful thought. “Yes! I don’t want to go back, please let me stay!” You saw her grin widen and then came your fear as you saw her razor sharp teeth, they looked like they could tear through flesh quite easily. She moved closer and pinned you down, her face being brought close to your neck and her teeth grazing it, was this your end? 

You felt her lips press against your neck and she began to trail kisses up to your jaw, then your cheek, then your lips. She wasn’t going to eat you, she promised that in the beginning didn’t she? You watched her pull back smiling at you once more as you felt something move between your legs, you were frozen as you saw she had plans to mate you tonight and you couldn’t help but watch as it seemed to slowly stroke your leg. “Sirens and Merfolk are an all female species darling, but that doesn’t mean we can’t reproduce with each other or you.” You shook your head, you didn’t want this, you couldn't! 

You felt Siren cup your cheek, watching as it slid back inside her, “If you don’t want it, that's fine. I wouldn’t dare force you to take something of that size, especially since you’re not of our kind. You need preparation, you need to want it. She returned to kissing you once more as thoughts about her almost fucking you with her cock began to wash away from your mind. You liked that she wouldn’t force you, that she’d be how you wanted her, waiting for you to be ready and ask. She pulled away once more, watching you pant from the makeout session. “Now how about I get started on introducing you to pleasures only I can give you?” You couldn’t agree fast enough to her proposal as she got to work.

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LOST EDEN ー Ruki Dark [08]

CHAPTER MASTERLIST

ー The scene starts in the guest room at Eden

Yui: ( Ruki-kun still wants to become Adam. )

( Yet it was Ruki-kun himself who told me that he could never become Adam despite being chosen by Eve, simply because he is not a Pureblood Vampire. )

( A former human such as himself is simply not qualified to earn that title. ...That’s what he told me. )

Yuma: Oi? Whatcha doin’ leavin’ the door wide open?

Yui: Yuma-kun.

Yuma: I crossed paths with Ruki earlier and he didn’t seem to be in the best mood. Did ya two get into an argument or somethin’?

Yui: We didn’t...I think, at least.

Yuma: So ya didn’t fight but somethin’ did happen, huh?

Lemme guess. It’s ‘bout the Adam thing, isn’t it?

Yui: Eh...!? 

Did you know, perhaps? That Ruki-kun still wishes to become Adam.

Yuma: Nah, I didn’t. But I could sorta tell. I guess ya can call it a guy’s intuition?

So? What did he say?

Yui: ...He asked me why he can’t become Adam.

I thought he was no longer bothered by it. But...I guess I was wrong.

( I chose to be with Ruki-kun instead of with ‘Adam’. I thought that was good enough for him. )

Yuma: I mean, I can sorta relate to him.

Us dudes are all big doofuses, ya see. We can’t help but instinctively yearn for ‘power’ and such.

I mean, Ruki-kun looked up to Karlheinz-san more than any of us, right? Almost in a fanboy-ish manner. 

I think that’s why he was so set on becomin’ the Adam whom that man sought after. 

Yui: I understand that as well. But I thought he had moved past that.

Yuma: I’m sure that he knows that if he uses his brain. But try thinkin’ ‘bout it. This has been a wish of his long before the two of ya even met, ya know?

I think we can’t blame him for still wantin’ it somewhere deep inside, no matter what he tries to make himself believe? 

Yui: ...Perhaps...

Yuma: It wasn’t easy for ya to accept that you’re Eve either, was it? It’s the exact same thing.

I’m sure I don’t need to tell ya this, but despite how he comes across, Ruki-kun can be a bit of a softie, right?

Selection

→ You think so...?

Yui: You think so...?

Yuma: Ah, I guess he won’t show ya that side of his. He wants to look cool in front of the girl he loves after all.

→ Right. (❦)

Yui: ...Right. He’s got a kind heart after all. 

Yuma: Yeah. I knew you had him figured out.

Yuma: Well, I think he ends up overthinkin’ a lot ‘cause of that. Like he feels emotionally vulnerable.

Yui: ...You know him very well, don’t you?

Yuma: We’re bros after all! I’ve known him much longer than even you have.

Yui: You’re right. it feels like we’ve been together for so long but compared to you guys, I barely even know him.

Yuma: Oi oi. Don’t be goin’ down that rabbit hole as well, ‘kay?

You helped him in a way in which we could never have. Ruki absolutely needs you in his life after all.

Yui: ...Thank you, Yuma-kun. I’ll go look for him now, okay?

Yuma: I’m pretty sure he’s over at the inner courtyard. I saw him walkin’ into that direction. 

Yui: Thanks!

ー Yui runs off

Yuma: ...Damn, those guys really are two of a kind, huh? 

ー The scene shifts to the inner courtyard

Yui: ーー Ruki-kun!

Ruki: ...Did Yuma come talk to you?

Yui: Eh? ...How?

Ruki: He entered the room after crossing paths with me, right? I can sort of imagine what happened.

Yui: Yeah...We had a long talk. He also told me that you’re probably here. 

Ruki: ...To think I need my own younger brother to look out for me.

Yui: That’s not the only reason why but...I want to properly sit down with you and talk once more. About the Adam thing.

Monologue

When I gently grabbed hold of his hand,

He also squeezed back.

By doing so,

no words are needed, 

to convey our mutual love for one another. 

Still, how Ruki-kun feels exactly,

as well as what goes on inside his head (考える人)

Perhaps I do not fully understand 

those things just yet. (まだ知らない),

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

[flushedmusings]

————————— ୨•୧—————————

i realize now, in the years i’ve known you, i’ve never seen you cry.

not a tear past your eyes.

is it horrible to say i hope one day i will?

i just want to see the rest of your seasons. i love your sun, i praise it, but there’s more to life than that.

plants need water, just as people need to cry.

i worry about you. bottling it up, keeping the pressure inside.

one day when that explodes and there’s prices of me and you spread across the floor from impact, what happens?

will you let me help clean up?

i’ll be there, when you lock me out and leave me waiting. or when we’re in your car laughing and there’s nothing else in the world but us, and the lights reflecting across your windshield.

i’ll be there, when you leave, and it’s just me and your memory, lying in my bed, just a lump of wax with a bittersweet memory of our brief time together.

i know i’ll see you in class tomorrow, but i still feel this melancholy for a time in which your attention was on me. a time that’s never really existed.

everyone else you see, you seem to regard in this, blaring color, with this energy and excitement. and i’m just a black and white picture in the old photo album, in a box somewhere on the top shelf of your closet, pushed past your figurines and books.

and maybe i’m selfish, but when our friends are giggling and giddy about their lovers i can’t help but ache for that. a hollow feeling consumes me, this realization it will never be us. it will never be you saying “i love her more than anything”. and it will never be me on your family vacations.

i know, it’s not like that, i know you may not love anyone. but i can’t help the vomit that crawls up from my stomach. the little flame of jealous rage that eventually just fizzles out, leaving me a pile of smoke.

i know it’s not fair and i know it’s selfish, but what am i to do? there’s no spell that can just make me fall out of love with you, and time hasn’t been working, i’ve spent over a year yearning.

i hate to picture you ranting to a mutual friend of ours about how you know, and how uncomfortable it is for you. if i could stop the way i feel for you a would. i’m sorry.

i’m sorry for always reacting with some sort of quip. but i need to protect myself somehow.

i realize now how cruel i’ve been to you.

if i’ve ever gone too far, please know it’s the times when i find it especially hard to hide the red in my cheeks and steady the beat of my heart.

how can i lie with a straight face but not think about without a grin or tears?

how can i stand to fight these feelings?

when you protect them so gingerly, just holding my heart in the breast pocket of your flannel. keeping it there away from the truth.

i realize now now kind you are to me.

i realize now how often you’ve seen me cry.

and you, you calmed me down, that day you found out. something no one else has ever done. the tip of your thumb just fluttering across my hand, like a butterfly wing.

i’m sorry i can’t do that for you.

is it horrible to wish i could?

————————— ୨•୧—————————

ok, this made no coherent sense in terms of start to finish 😭😭 i may edit this later, or post a different version. idk!!! i just! cannot end poems!

anywhosies, thank you for tuning into this episode of girlfailure poetry™️

also if you know me irl and you know what i’m referring to in this poem, pls just, ignore that and enjoy ! 😁! let’s! move on ok? :3

-🍒