#I don’t really know what kind of person I’m compatible with really actually.

[sciderman]

You said that if you dated Peter or Wade it would make you miserable. Which– Okay fair, Wade does have a history of purposely hurting the people he loves.

But what about Peter? Why do you think dating him would make you miserable?

because I’ll always know I had the option to climb a 6’8 cyborg and I passed that up for a sweaty little twunk that I perpetually have to remind to bathe (sorry peter)

[planetsstarsandmoons]

Synastry observations based on (personal) experience, part 5:

I’m back!!!! After months lmao

Moon opposite mars: a big ‘want’. Moon opposite mars is a story. It’s every romance movie/ romcom aspect, and i’ll tell you why. These people see in each other the potential of moon conjunct mars fullfillment that’s actually (way, but opinions differ ofc) better than the conjunction. That’s because in the opposition, each has something the other lacks. This can create for both people the ultimate romantic fullfilment when brought together by effort and acceptance of each other, and this promise is very hard to let go of. Typically, these are couples that fight a lot but find it very hard to let each other go once they know what they can have with each other, because it really is the best. Just think about it, even the thought of people putting conscious effort to be sweeter to one another is precious. That only creates a bond that’s very raw and very real (quoting jewelastrology here). Then combine that with the power of the mars and the moon and the friction of the opposition, keeping things interesting and keeping both parties learning more. You shouldn’t romanticise struggle in a relationship. Too much ‘work’ can just mean you aren’t compatible. THIS aspect is an exception. Just watch out for possible aggression. That’s never okay. One day I’ll make a seperate post about the amount of moon opposite mars couples in literature. The best I can think of now is Pride and Prejudice, with Mr Darcy being mars and Elizabeth Bennet being moon.

Venus twelfth house overlay: sorry y’all, in my personal experience, it’s true what they say. The twelfth house person has a hard time feeling this overlay on their side, or on a very subconscious level. I was the 12th house person. On one hand, I really ‘got it’ so to say but on the other hand, I don’t have a shitty clue of how he picked up on this ‘thing between us’ he thought or picked up on we had. That’s actually the big thing about this overlay. Don’t lose all hope, but you’ll have one person going “you knoww like there’s this thing between us...” and the 12th house person will be going: “what thing?” 😂 this can actually be nice because the 12th house person will get in touch with that subconscious twelfth housey part of themselves IF there are other nicely supporting aspects. Like the venus person’s venus to other stuff. They say a true connection is always mutual. I want to say to you all that don’t be surprised when a 12th house person in such an overlay is not ‘feeling’ this mutually. I literally wrote in my diary: “i might actually like him when it’s too late. Or just never lol i do not know.”

Update: I wrote this observation months ago in like april. It is now october and I’m starting to gain interest in him, albeit slowly and subconsciously, but, yeah 🤦‍♀️😂 i came back to this draft being like “WHATT?? Astrology had predicted this TOO for me???”

Moon trine pluto: you know when the fighting super intense troubled couple FINALLY gets together in this really intense and satisfying time when things are finally going the way they’re planned? Like an end all all good? That is this overlay, but constantly. On the outside, it’s the annoyingly passionate/emotional couple in a series that you don’t get because you haven’t seen them do any work to deserve this kind of intense fan-service scene. It’s because it lacked that kind of character development? It was me watching avengers infinity war with vision and wanda. I didn’t like the couple because i didn’t get it. I didn’t know their history i thought it was just some random very bland peaceful couple being very dramatic about each other all the time. Another example (i’m not shitting on this aspect i swear 😂) when a cartoon shows an example of a ‘romantic movie scene’ where the couple says “i loove you!!” And the other goes “oh bill!!” You don’t swoon because you’re like… okay. You get the oogies/ick because it’s like ‘ew that’s a couple’ anyways what I’m trying to say is that moon and pluto are not typical besties they’re supposed to be two problems kind of, they’re two very intense and bare planets, so harmonious flowing energy between them will feel kind of unsettling? Even. So these people will be kind of ‘gross’ with each other but in a soothing way. It’s how you imagine such a trine to be, but it plays out exactly like this irl too lmao! It feels bland on the outside because it’s always going well. And on the inside it plays in the background, because issues bring moon and pluto stuff to the foreground as a ‘theme’ in the relationship. So this aspect is also is the simple idea-of-a-passionate relationship. It’s the groaning “I’ll never let you go!!” Which doesn’t hit the same way for some people because there isn’t any drama or shit that happened before to deserve this pay off. However, some people loooove this aspect and by that I mean people in real life who like to have a secure and deep relationship where two hidden parts of people correspond and love each other well. This aspect is reaallly hard to let go of lol.

Sun conjunct mars: I call this the ‘spicy friends’ aspect. This is the aspect of two people who get into shenanigans together. I also see this aspect a lot with romantic couples who got together young, because it makes for boy-girl relations where the boy actually gets motivated by the person the girl is and the girl feels understood on the same level by the boy. They don’t get bored and so these people will forever get on or be aggravated by each other. It’s because these are two extremely conscious ‘in the moment’ planets so they easily fire off each other and it doesn’t take a lot of energy to have that interaction. Not in the plutonically karmic way, but in a personal way I currently cannot describe. No in between. It creates a bond that people can’t really get in between. You just have to let them stay friends/buds until they get sick of each other, and they may even repeat the process after that. Either way, this is an aspect that makes people get together fast ! Their conscious behaviour is accelerated by each other.

Sun conjunct venus: unlike mars, venus is a cold planet, which is totally okay in a synastry, only the interaction plays out a little different. Sun and venus don’t fire off each other. Their influence on each other is more passive and more ‘mental’. The sun, how basic it may sound, warms venus or even makes them burn. Venus gives the sun person chills. The venus person is responsible for the harmony and awesome functionality that this aspect brings. They will take a step back to fully adore and admire sun from afar sometimes. The sun will run to venus basically when it needs love and beauty and also a kind of sensibility that the sun person misses, like a puzzle piece. Sun brings heat and passion that the venus craves. These people will often crave for how the other person makes them feel. Venus typically loves every little thing the sun person does and the sun person is just taken by the venus person every single day. Think Oliver (venus) and Loretta (sun) from Only Murders In The Building. This aspect makes for real contentment in a relationship.

Mars in twelfth house synastry or composite: with this placement, you’re not even sure if the person is actually even attracted to you and if you’re making it all up in your head. This is also typically seen as a ‘synastry/composite of secrets’ which I wasn’t so sure about at the time I experienced this one myself, but now I realise, hey, that man actually had a girlfriend while he was giving me ‘special attention’ while holding back, with me being like ‘what could he mean what could he MEAN’ typical mars in twelfth scenario. One guy I had this with in composite was basically lying to me about his sex life and not having cheated on his previous girlfriend… and guess what… I had lied about my sexual history too 😭 I even thought to myself ‘why the f*ck did I lie that elaborately??? I didn’t even have to??’ But whatever, it’s the way of the worlds apparently 😂 but you see how this immediately creates distrust when it is not actually what we mean to do or coming from a place of disrespect. Oh and this aspect in composite also created months of us being like ‘🧍🏻‍♀️….🧍🏻‍♂️’ not normal sexual tension, but sexual tension we weren’t sure should be concreticised out loud or in action. We’d only kissed once Monthsss before which is basically nothing in western european student culture. It was like: “does this person know I’m still, in this moment, attracted to/like him/her? Am I making this all up in my head?”

Moon in the 8th house: a lot has been said about this aspect. Just a few things: intensity, yes. Either one will always be a significant person for the rest the person’s lives. It’s not nothing. It’s the basis of real all consuming love that’s a very rare and unique mix between total safety and total rush-like danger, which makes people think it’s a soulmate aspect. It’s actually not, imo, it’s a deeply (deeeeply) karmic aspect. It’s funny to see all the friends with benefits who have this aspect start out as “lol we don’t want a relationship” to “……. Lol nevermind” and end up together. They go back to each other because they’re simply too significant to each other. Fear of being vulnurable is also big on both so they either take that step or they’re just standing there forever. Mutual aspect, but it’s mutual in different ways. Truthfully, I don’t see this aspect so often in relationship charts. I see it with people who are in love with each other and aren’t together, or people who started out casual but still for some reason can’t let each other go after more than a year, or people who have had the roughest most obsessive breakup in history and ask me for advice. Often, people in relationships who have this aspect don’t come to astrologers for advice. They’re too ‘into’ one another to do that, I feel like.

Venus trine moon: cute cute cUTE because the venus loves reassuring the moon person with affection, which makes the moon person feel so safe and endorphined and warm. The moon person simply inspires that in venus! Great for a chart with more difficult aspects !

Moon conjunct jupiter: so if a guy is jupiter and the moon is a woman and they’re married, the woman doesn’t need to worry about jupiter feeling turned off from the relationship by her pregnancy. Moon is the feminine, the nurturer, the mother, jupiter adores and respects her. Jupiter inspires respect, optimism, friendships and all things serotonin. Jupiter will make the moon feel good. The kind of union where the guy will constantly declare how much he lovees her pregnancy glow ✨ the same goes ofc for lesbian relationships but since this is a cultural phenomenon i thought i might touch on it.

Moon opposite jupiter: i feel like this might be the opposite story :/ the girls motherhood and need for support and needs in general will just be the opposite to what the jupiter person finds ‘fun’ and joyful, BUT if they’ve made it this far in the relationship as to have a child together it should be okay. At least the cause of the behaviour would moreso be astrology, not misogyny.

Moon square jupiter: wife jokes, but the ones that are cute and funny.

Moon in third:

Being someone with a moon in third house be like: wow imagine going through something hard and not type 10k words in your notes app about it.

Having your moon overlay in someone’s third house be like: wow imagine going through something and not telling that person 10k words about it

Also: jupiter has such an underrated influence on us in astrology!! Jupiter radiates the most energy out of all the planets in our solar system and may be way more personal and influential than we think in astrology… And in synastry also it’s the MOON

[clumsyromantic]

NOT ANOTHER RAINBOW LEGACY CHALLENGE

Welcome to this ten generation legacy challenge based on vibrant colors! Inspired by all the other color themed legacies out there, because who doesn’t like basing their sims whole personality on a color (I know I’m a sucker for it lol). I won’t put a long list of rules here, because at the end of the day I want this to be your gameplay and story that you create. I will suggest that you follow each generation, but if something isn’t to your liking, by all means, change it for yourself. With that being said, don’t claim this challenge as your own, even if you tweak it. Remember, though, legacy challenges are all about having fun!

If you play don't forget to tag me here or on instagram @clumsy.romantic or use the hashtag #notanotherlegacy. I would really love to see some gameplay/stories!

Generation One: Licorice.

You never stay in one place too long. As a criminal, you’re always on the run. You don’t commit to anything. The only thing you’ve ever truly loved and committed to is your career. When it comes to actual love, you dip as soon as it seems like things might get serious. You don’t like being that close to people, letting people in like that. You can’t trust anyone, or so you thought.

Traits: Evil, Non-Committal, Romantic. (Additional: Self-Assured, Mean)

Aspiration: Serial Romantic.

Career: Criminal.

Have more enemies than friends.

Have a child with an enemy.

Move to a different world each time you age up.

Only your child(ren) can be your partner in crime.

Get caught cheating at least once.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Mischief, Handiness and Programming skills.

[Packs used: None]

Generation Two: Pearl.

From the time you could hold things, you were coloring, drawing, painting, anything that could help you express yourself. You are the exact opposite of your parent. Maybe you’re like the other one? You wouldn’t know, though. You never met them, nor heard a single truth about them. That doesn’t matter, though, because as soon as you can, you move out of your parents home so that you can start your own life and family. Love isn’t easy, as you don’t truly know what it’s supposed to look like, but with how kind and caring you are, it almost comes easy to you.

Traits: Creative, Cheerful, Family-Oriented. (Additional: Loyal, Good)

Aspiration: Big Happy Family. 

Career: Painter.

Complete the Artist Prodigy as a child.

Move to a different world from your parent.

Marry someone with amazing compatibility (or someone with similar traits).

Have 5 children.

Have a bowling night with the family at least twice a week.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Painting, Parenting and Bowling skills.

[Packs used: High School Years, Growing Together, Parenthood, Bowling Night]

Generation Three: Latte.

You come from a big family, and you’ve always loved every bit of it. However, nothing can compare to the love you have for fitness. As a teenager, you become a simfluencer who models athletic wear and shows off your healthy lifestyle. As a Young Adult, you constantly have dogs. You tell yourself all you need is dogs, until you meet another fitness buff who you end up having a baby with.

Traits: Active, Dog Lover, Vegetarian. (Additional: Ambitious, Outgoing)

Aspiration: Friend of the Animals.

Career: Simfluencer.

Have a good relationship with your parents and siblings.

Go to the gym four times a week.

Change your hairstyle once a week.

Have at least 3 dogs as a YA.

Become a B-lister.

Have a baby with someone you meet at the gym (bonus points if they have the active skill).

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Fitness, Entrepreneur, Media Production, and Pet Training skills.

[Packs used: Cats & Dogs, High School Years, Get Famous]

Generation Four: Dandelion.

It was hard for you to relate to your parents, as they were much more outgoing and sociable than you were. Keeping up conversations and being around people always made you feel drained. You preferred being by yourself with a good book. It was usually a sci-fi book about robots. It’s no surprise that you’re the first in your family to go to university and you end up working in engineering. Your best friend, perhaps lover as well, is a robot you built. Seems like a good life to you.

Traits: Loner, Overachiever, Socially Awkward. (Additional: Bookworm, Geek)

Aspiration: Nerd Brain.

Career: Engineer.

Attend university.

Build a servo bot.

Be romantic partners with the servo.

Woohoo with the servo in the rocketship.

Only adopt or have science babies.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Logic, Handiness and Robotics skills.

[Packs used: High School Years, Discover University]

Generation Five: Emerald.

You want to make the world a better place for the next generations. Everything you do involves Mother Earth. You live off the land, garden and fish for your food. You raise chickens for your eggs and cows for your milk. You also fabricate and make things for yourself, others and your animals. Some of the things you create you sell on Plopsy for income. You have a baby with someone you’re engaged to be married to. But as soon as you can, you pack up and leave them, taking the baby with you.

Traits: Loves Outdoors, Maker, Freegan. (Additional: Green Fiend, Recycle Disciple)

Aspiration: Master Maker.

Career: Plopsy Seller.

Live in Evergreen Harbor (If you don’t already, move there as a YA).

Live in Port Promise, where you must make the eco footprint green.

Additional Challenge: have the Simple Living lot challenge in Evergreen.

Knitted and Fabricated items can be sold on Plopsy when you need simoleons.

Get engaged and try for a baby until one of you is pregnant.

Once you have reached green for the eco footprint; break off the engagement, take the baby and move to Sulani.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Knitting, Fishing, Gardening and Fabrication skills.

[Packs used: Eco Lifestyle, Nifty Knitting, Island Living]

Generation Six: Turquoise.

Growing up on a beautiful beach with your single parent doing everything for you made you into a spoiled brat. The only thing you actually want to do, besides sleep and chill, is fashion photography. You have a real eye for fashion. Although, you don’t really have a knack for picking up work. You’re more likely to be suntanning than actually doing your job. The few times you do accept a job, you fall in love with the model. Instead of falling happily in love together, you are constantly fighting, and to make matters worse, you have a kid together. Something neither of you wanted.

Traits: Self-Absorbed, Lazy, Hates Children. (Additional: Jealous, Squeamish)

Aspiration: Beach Life.

Career: Freelance Fashion Photographer.

Accept a job once a week.

Have a baby with one of the models that has the Mean, Hot-Headed or Evil trait.

Only have 1 child.

Have a bad relationship with your child.

Move to San Myshuno as an Adult.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Charisma and Photography skills.

[Packs used: Get Famous, Outdoor Retreat, Moschino, City Living]

Generation Seven: Ruby.

You constantly heard your parents fighting over something. They were never not fighting. You found your solace in music; listening to it, writing it, playing instruments, just everything about it. You get married young just so you can move out. But you’re in love with a musician on the side. You’re not really sure if you should keep seeing them, or stick by your spouse. You never really were good with decisions, especially ones that could really impact your future.

Traits: Music Lover, Hot-Headed, Childish. (Additional: Erratic, Dance Machine)

Aspiration: Musical Genius.

Career: Live off tips and fame.

Marry and move out as a YA.

Have a bad relationship with your parents.

Cheat on your spouse with someone who plays an instrument or sings.

Only earn money from tips when you play instruments or sing in public.

Have either a dance battle or karaoke night once a week.

Obtain fame, at least c-lister, from music.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Singing, Dancing and any instrument skills.

[Packs used: Get Famous, City Living, Get Together]

Generation Eight: Magenta.

You’ve always used humor and pranks as a way to cope with everything going on in your life. No one but your best friend really gets you. It’s hard for you two to get over being friends when you realize that you have feelings for each other. Except, after having a baby together, you realize you were better off as friends. You still civilly raise the child, just not under the same roof anymore.

Traits: Paranoid, Goofball, Gloomy. (Additional: Clumsy, Cat Lover)

Aspiration: Chief of Mischief.

Career: Social Media.

Have a childhood best friend.

Have a baby with said best friend.

You and your best friend fall out, but you still raise the child civilly.

Have at least 1 cat.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Comedy, Writing and Mischief skills.

[Packs used: Cats and Dogs, Strangerville, City Living]

Generation Nine: Tangerine.

You prefer the finer things in life. You live in the city, but as a young adult working in law, you often take vacations to Mt. Komorebi. Where, when you fall in love with a local and have children, you take your children there often. Not until you retire, do you and your spouse move there. In the meantime, you enjoy the time you spend there; skiing, snowboarding, rock climbing, sightseeing, etc. You dream of your vacations while at work.

Traits: Adventurous, Kleptomaniac, Bro. (Additional: Lactose Intolerant, Materialistic)

Aspiration: Mt. Komorebi Sightseer.

Career: Law.

Take 2 vacation days a week to go to Mt. Komorebi.

Marry and have children with someone who lives in Mt. Komorebi

Continue living in San Myshuno until you retire and move to Mt. Komorebi.

Steal one item a day.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Skiing, Snowboarding and Rock Climbing skills.

[Packs used: Snowy Escape, Cottage Living]

Generation Ten: Aubergine.

Your parents always showed you the luxurious sides of life. Treating you to everything and anything you could ever imagine. It lit the way for your future career as a critic. You enjoyed being able to put your 2 cents into whatever you could get your neatly, well kept fingers on. You also always looked and presented to be your best self. 

Traits: Neat, Foodie, Snob. (Additional: High Maintenance, Perfectionist)

Aspiration: Party Animal.

Career: Critic.

Host 3 parties a week.

Each party has a theme; decorate and cook accordingly.

Get married 3 times (not to the same person).

Have 1 child per marriage.

Don’t get close to your children until they are Young Adults.

Max your career.

Complete your aspiration.

Master the Cooking, Writing and Gourmet Cooking skills.

[Packs used: Spa Day, City Living]

[idkiwasntsupposedtobebackhere]

my unpopular gilmore girls opinions (like actually):

-i don’t mind lane’s husband zach. like i think he was kind of a moron but he stepped up to the plate and was consistantly there for lane. why do people want lane to pine for dave 10 years later like he was her one and only soulmate instead of a really cool guy who was a really cool guy bc he wasn’t on the show long enough to get a villain arc. i think the problem with lane’s storyline is that she didn’t get to go out on an adventure, not that she settled down with zach instead of dave. i would have been pissed if she got pregnant and stayed in SH for life even if it was with dave.

-i don’t think everything that went wrong with luke and jess was jess’ fault and that he only had himself to blame for getting kicked out. like luke taking jess in no questions asked was a really great gesture but he didn’t know what he was doing from that point on. him doing a nice thing doesn’t mean he’s somehow abow getting slightly critisised for handling a lot of things wrong. like i do think a 17-18 yo is entitled to a place to stay without conditions and despite screwing things up and luke needed to either fully be that person or not at all

-i often hear ”rory said no to logan’s proposal just to be his mistress later, she should have just said yes”, which… no, it’s ok to want something at 32 that you didn’t want at 22 (disclaimer: it’s not ok to sleep with someone else’s fiancee). i even hear a lot of people say rory should have said yes to logan even without bringing up AYITL and i really don’t understand why this is the general opinion. and i’m not saying this because i’m team jess over logan, i wouldn’t have wanted jess and rory to get married at 22 either. we’ve known since season 1 that rory has dreams and plans to travel and when logan proposed and they presented it as kind of a 50/50 thing i was baffled because ofc it’s a no. also if someone tells you ”either we get married or we break up”, always break up!!!

-luke and lorelai… are not compat- i mean initially they were cute, but just on a fundamental level- i mean… ok actually i’m not brave enough to go there, maybe in the next post. all i’m saying is that i rooted for them as much as the next guy and that they probably wouldn’t have been truly content if they never gave a relationship a go and they’d probably always be jealous of the other’s romantic relationships a little bit BUT that they’re too different (both personality wise and in handling stuff in general) to actually create a life together. they work in the diner setting but seeing each other 24/7 and agreeing on day to day decisions? idk. oops, looks like i went there anyways. also i’m not saying i don’t like them together, in fact they’re together in every single gilmore girls universe i have in my head but yk

-jess wasn’t the best boyfriend but a lot of their issues was rory subconsciously comparing what jess did with what dean would have done and their relationship was never going to work with such a fresh breakup hanging over them like that. the issue of jess not calling rory and making a plan and rory being mad that she had to sit around and wait for him to do it for example is not jess being malicious, it’s just them genuinely having different expectations and ideas of what a relationship is which could have been solved with a) some communication and b) dean and lorelai not breathing down their necks and preying on their downfall

-i think lorelai could stand to butt out of rory’s life and be a bit nicer to her step-nephew but i’m always gonna back her when it comes to her parents. i have no patience for the ”richard and emily weren’t that bad”-crowd. i’m tired of hearing ”lorelai is pissed because she gets thousands of dollars in exchange for a free meal, is she stoopid?” when it’s so much deeper than that. her sacrificing her own boundries for the sake of rory’s education is actually quite admirable (would emily swallow her pride and values and do something like that?). bc now i actually love emily as a character and enjoy her more than the gilmore girls sometimes. and as an audience we can obviously see that she cares about lorelai. but it’s emily’s responsibility to actually make lorelai feel that. because even tho emily thinks she did what was best for lorelai, it clearly did not make lorelai feel loved, because it was all according to what emily herself wanted.

-i don’t think this is that unpopular but i’ve heard many different takes on this. if lorelai wanted to be overdramatic about rory fracturing her wrist that is within her right, her kid was in the hospital after all and that is scary. however, where she was absolutely just objectively in the wrong is where she went ballistic at luke who’s supposed to be her best friend when he got the tiniest bit concerned over his nephew’s whereabouts after he had also been in that car accident. her screaming at him that he had more of an obligation to herself and her kid than the kid he’s literally in responsible for? this is just one of those situations where i feel like she wasn’t being an adult. it would have been understandable for like lane to barge into luke’s and yell jess’ name and scream that he should never have been allowed in this town but lorelai is 33.

part 2 soon?

[prettyrealm]

current events: han sohee vs lee hyeri

what does han sohee think of lee hyeri?

han sohee thinks hyeri is delusional and wants her man back, she doesn’t think hyeri is over him at all. she feels threatened. she thinks hyeri isn’t backing off. she thinks hyeri is manipulating the public and is even more manipulative behind the scenes (even with how she treats people in general). she really thinks hyeri is a wolf in sheep’s clothing and hides behind an innocent demeanor, but she’s actually really sneaky with a lot of red flags. she 100% believes the instagram story was about her, not ryu junyeol. she doesn’t think hyeri will let him go easily at all. she think that hyeri is well liked, but it’s all superficial and if you really got to know her you wouldn’t like her (she might not actually know hyeri and this is just what she’s learned/been told from ryu junyeol as I’m getting she really thinks hyeri is a crazy ex). she thinks hyeri is super connected and has a lot of friends and uses that to hold power over people and gets what she wants. han sohee is a bit worried about what could happen to her due to hyeri’s connections as well. this whole situation has left sohee feeling like she’s had no time to catch her breath.

what does lee hyeri think of han sohee?

hyeri definitely thinks han sohee was/is the “other woman” and was sleeping with ryu junyeol while they were still together. i think possibly even to the extent that hyeri and ryu junyeol had discussed it in the past and decided to work on it/move past it, but now that they’re officially together she’s thinking about how this could have happened, (though it could be that they had also dealt with cheating in general in their relationship). worried that han sohee is more compatible with him than she was (she can give him what he wants like a family, children). i also get that she thinks han sohee is a lot prettier than she is. she’s actually worried that ryu jun yeol is serious about her and that hurts her a lot. she thinks han sohee has looks and money, but no manners and is extremely unclassy. she also doesn’t like that han sohee is who ryu junyeol has chosen to date because she knows that han sohee has had a pretty promiscuous past and doesn’t think that she is “serious” material. overall, hyeri feels very insecure right now.

what do han sohee & lee hyeri think of ryu junyeol?

han sohee - “ayo they could never make me hate you” vibes. she thinks he’s a really good person, loves him to pieces and thinks he’s the best boyfriend she has had and wants to start a family with him. (she could be a very intense person, don’t necessarily expect them to get married) she likes him to the point where she feels she genuinely needs him in her life and sees him as super protective over her. he just “gets” her in her eyes and she feels a lot of people don’t. she’s also mega attracted to him.

lee hyeri - she thinks he’s a major liar, but also that he’s smarter than her and that he’s really good at making her feel sorry for him. she thinks he was never true to his word, in a sense that he would never do things all the way, he was never nice but he was also never mean, he wouldn’t forget anniversaries but he would get her a lackluster gift (as if he had a habit of never doing things right but also never wrong) . he just never went above and beyond. she does still have feelings for him, but I don’t think she wants him back. if he were to bring it up she would consider it, but I don’t think she’s actually trying to get back with him. for the most part, she does want to move on from him and she really was just hurt in the moment when she made the story. she kind of finds them both embarrassing.

[engie-ivy]

(Not so micro, but written for @wolfstarmicrofic! Extremely Pining Sirius and Extremely Oblivious Remus Lupin)

6th: Bond

Sirius doesn't tick any of Remus’ boxes. No matter how strong their bond is, no matter how Sirius is the only one who gives Remus that sense of belonging, they're just not compatible... Right?

The Thing We Don't Talk About

“He made the wrong decision,” Remus says pointedly. “And he has to live with it. Why would I have to suffer the consequences for his mistakes?”

“For god’s sake, Remus,” Lily says exasperatedly. “He just took a bite from your dessert!”

“It was chocolate cake!” Remus glares at Lily. “And it’s not that hard! If you want dessert, order dessert, if you don’t want dessert, don’t order dessert, but leave me out of it!”

“So,” Marlene says, sipping her tea. “I take it there’s not going to be a second date?”

“Certainly not,” Remus says. “He clearly doesn’t have the same values as I have.”

Mary rolls her eyes. “ ‘Wanting to share dessert’, we can add that to the list. What did the previous one do again? Put sugar in his tea, was it?”

“It was the perfect blend, and he ruined it!”

“Remus,” Lily says carefully. “Have you ever wondered if maybe you are too critical?”

“When I was picking out curtains you made me go to five different stores and try out four different samples before making a decision!” Remus replies. “How am I allowed to be critical about a piece of fabric, but not about the person I might spend the rest of my life with?”

“Because it’s getting you nowhere!” Mary exclaims. “You’ll end up being single your whole life.”

“I want someone who’s the same kind of person as I am, who’s on the same page as me, who shares my interests and preferences, and otherwise, I’d rather be alone,” Remus shrugs.

“But surely someone doesn’t have to share all your interests!” Lily tries.

“Am I really asking for so much?” Remus asks. “Someone whose favourite moments also consist of drinking a perfect cup of tea with their favourite pastry, shares my interest in art history and loves to go to museums, and also listens to classical music. I don’t even care about his job or his looks!” Remus sighs. “Maybe the guy I’m looking for just cannot be found in the city. Maybe I should broaden my search to out of town.”

“Or maybe you should narrow your search to within your apartment,” Marlene mumbles, looking out of the window.

“Marlene!” Lily says warningly.

“Oh, come on, Lily!” Marlene suddenly snaps. “I’m sick of it! I’m sick of having to deal with these pretentious idiots Remus keeps going out with, when he has this perfect, drop-dead gorgeous man, who literally worships the very ground he walks on, living in right in his own bloody apartment!”

“I know, Marlene,” Lily says. “But Remus can’t help it if he just doesn’t feel that way-”

“Sirius isn’t in love with me,” Remus interrupts.

Lily stops mid-sentence and both she and Marlene whip their heads around to stare at Remus, while Mary spits out her tea and starts to cough.

“Please tell me you’re kidding,” Lily says eventually, as she finds her voice.

Remus blinks. “You actually think Sirius is in love with me?”

“No,” Mary says slowly. “We know Sirius is in love with you. He has been since our second year of college.”

“Why did no one ever thought to tell me?” Remus exclaims.

“It’s so obvious!” Marlene exclaims. “We assumed you knew! Hell, everybody and their nan knows! Literally. I saw Dorcas’ nan the other day, and the first thing she asked me was ‘is that Sirius boy still pining after that Remus boy?’”

Remus looks from one girl to the other. “If I had known, don’t you think I would’ve somehow acknowledged it, at least once?”

“We assumed you just didn’t feel the same,” Mary says, eying Remus. “And that not mentioning it was your way of dealing with it, so you wouldn’t have to hurt Sirius.”

“Wait,” Lily says. “When you and Sirius moved in together after college, James had this talk with Sirius where he asked him whether it was really a good idea, and you were right there! James told Sirius it wasn’t good for his mental health, and that he was just torturing himself by doing it! What the hell did you think that was about?”

Remus stares at the table, his cheeks heating up. He remembers that conversation. He remembers feeling slightly insulted by James’ words and he remembers Sirius assuring James that it was fine, that he could handle it. “I thought he meant because I always leave my dirty dishes in the sink,” he mumbles.

Lily looks at him, then shakes her head. “Unbelievable. Unbe-fucking-lievable.”

“It... It doesn’t matter anyway,” Remus says, trying to sound convincing while his head is spinning. “Sirius and I are so different. We’re not compatible, not at all.”

Remus had first met Sirius at a party when they just started college. Sirius was the light of the party, everyone was drawn to him. Remus learned that Sirius Black was loud and impulsive, drank black coffee and cheap beer, listened to rock music and was into motorcycles.

He didn’t even come close to ticking Remus’ boxes.

Remus had written Sirius off as boyfriend material back then and never reconsidered. He had written Sirius off, and never thought to revise that decision. Even when Sirius and he unexpectedly became close friends and formed a strong bond, even when he learned how smart, loyal and caring Sirius is, even when he could talk to Sirius about anything, even when he didn’t feel as comfortable just being himself with anyone else as he did with Sirius, even when Sirius somehow became ‘home’, Remus did not come back on his decision and didn’t revise it.

“H-he doesn’t even drink tea!” Remus exclaims.

“What does that matter if he knows exactly how to make your favourite tea to bring it to you whenever you feel sick?” Marlene says.

“And... And he doesn’t like sweet foods.”

“What does that matter if he goes out of his way to go to that bakery on the other side of town to get you those cinnamon rolls you love so much whenever you feel down?” Mary says.

“He doesn’t know the first thing about art history!”

“What does that matter if he can listen to you go on about if for hours?” Marlene says.

“We don’t even like the same music...”

“Remus,” Lily says gently. “You once told me that your favourite part of the day is doing the dishes together with Sirius, as you put awful music on and both sing along as loud as you can and dance around the living room together. What does it matter, what does any of it matter, when you’ve got someone who makes you feel like that?”

For a long moment, Remus just stares at her. Then he suddenly gets up from his chair. “I have to go.”

Sirius is standing in the kitchen, his hair tied in a bun, humming to himself while mixing ingredients together in a bowl.

As Remus looks at him, he wonders how he did not see sooner what was right in front of him?

Sirius turns his head and gives Remus a bright smile when he sees him. “You’re home early!” He says, turning back to the bowl. “I’m making your mother’s chocolate cake, and it was supposed to be a surprise.” He gives Remus a brief grin. “To help you cope with the Dessert Sharing Trauma.”

Remus just says it. “You’re in love with me.”

“Yes?” Sirius asks while measuring flour.

Remus shakes his head. He still can’t quite wrap his head around it. “You’re in love with me.”

Sirius frowns. “Right. Are we suddenly talking about this now? I thought we agreed it’s the Thing We Don’t Talk About.”

Remus sighs, cursing himself for letting this go on for so long. “Maybe it shouldn’t be.”

Sirius turns away from the kitchen counter to look at Remus. “Really? You’re worried about this now? Look, Remus,” He runs a hand over his face, leaving a streak of flower. “It’s okay. I’ve got it under control. Besides, I know I’m not what you’re looking for, so don’t worry about me getting any false hope or anything.” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t tick any of your boxes after all.”

“You don’t,” Remus replies. “You’re uncultured, prefer starters over desserts, and can’t tell the difference between Earl Grey and English Breakfast.”

Sirius smiles sadly. “Yeah, I know.”

He moves to turn back to the kitchen counter, but Remus draws his attention back to him.

“You’re all that,” he says, walking towards Sirius. “You’re all that,” he says, lowering his voice as he stops in front of Sirius, placing a hand on his cheek, brushing away some of the flour, and looking at him in wonder. “And yet, I love you.”

He moves forward, but Sirius stops him with a hand on his shoulder. “I won’t change,” he says with a pained expression, but also a glimmer of hope, in his eyes. “I am who I am. Even if I feel like I would do just about anything to have a chance, I know I can’t – I shouldn’t – change who I am. Not even for you.”

“Good.” Remus smiles. “Because you’re perfect.”

[rallamajoop]

Some statistics on Lucy and the odds of surviving (non-vampiric) blood transfusions

Because it’s Dracula-season again, and because I am absolutely that kind of nerd, I spent some time calculating the actual odds of Lucy surviving all those blood transfusions from unrelated donors. To summarise what I found up front: Lucy's odds aren't great, but they're still a lot higher than you might think.

Now, I’m not the first person ever to tackle this question, and having no medical qualifications whatsoever, I'm not the best person either. But figuring out the answer to my own satisfaction was a great excuse to learn a whole lot of fascinating stuff that took some digging to figure out, so (with the caveat that I am entirely open to corrections from real professionals) naturally now I want to share it.

The complete world history of attempted blood transfusions is way beyond scope for us here (you can find plenty of sources on it online if you’re curious). But as Stoker’s text aptly demonstrates, the science of blood transfusion had come a long way by the Victorian era – just not the means for doctors to reliably predict which transfusions would be successful, and which would simply kill the patient. The principle behind the basic A, B and O blood types wouldn’t be discovered until 1900 – 4 years after Dracula was published, and wouldn't become part of general medical practice for much longer – and the additional Rh-factors wouldn’t be discovered until 1939. In Stoker's day, doctors were still so far behind the ball some of them thought transfusing milk into people suffering blood loss was a good idea (yes, really). And though I'm focusing on blood groups here, it goes without saying there are plenty of other risks that come from letting any Victorian-era doctor open your veins.

That said, what the average person knows about how blood types work may not be all that much advanced today from what doctors knew in the 1890s. It’s easy to come out of Dracula thinking, “Wow, they gave Lucy blood from four different people? The odds all their blood types would matched hers must be minuscule!” (and a quick search of the web for this topic will find people asking exactly that). But there are several factors which make Lucy’s chances a whole lot better than they might look on paper.

(Image source)

For one thing, even though there are many different blood groups to worry about, some are much more common than others. If just one blood group accounts for half the population (which is actually true of some countries), then Lucy’s odds of hitting four donors with the same group just by chance would go way up.

But far more important is the fact that blood groups don’t have to be a 'match' to be compatible. If Lucy is one of the 2% of the British population with the blood group AB+, she’d be a universal recipient – theoretically capable of receiving blood from anyone without adverse reactions. Similarly, if any of her donors were O-, she’s in luck again, because that makes them a universal donor. If Lucy herself is O-, however, she’s in trouble: universal donors can donate to any other group, but they can only receive from other O-negs.

Confused? Time to get a bit more technical.

When receiving blood, your greatest enemy is your own immune system. Vital as all those immune cells are, they are not smart, and have no way of knowing that all this foreign blood suddenly flooding your system is friendly. If the don’t recognise those blood cells, they’ll attack them, bonding to their surface and causing cells to clump together and form clots which can clog up your arteries and kill you. Transfusing the wrong blood type can and likely will kill you.

The immune system identifies blood cells as intruders via specific antigens found on the cell’s surface. The most important antigens in blood matching systems are the A and B antigens, and secondarily the Rhesus antigens (marked + or -). Some people have all of these antigens (AB+), some have none (O- with the ‘O’ more literally indicating a ‘0’ or a null) and many have some but not all (A+, B-, O+, etc). Meanwhile, the immune system of the recipient body, much like your racist uncle, will attack most anything with distinguishing features it hasn't seen before (like I said, it’s not smart). A blood cell which is missing a familiar antigen will slip through, but a blood cell sporting an unfamiliar antigen will trigger a reaction. So the immune system of someone with B-type blood will have issues with any A-type blood you try and transfuse in, but will be just fine with B or O, since O lacks any antigens to mark it as an intruder.

Once you know what you’re looking for, A, B, AB and O type blood can be identified fairly easily, just by mixing blood or antibodies and watching the reaction. I’ve seen some suggestions that this may have been understood even to some of the better-informed doctors in Victorian times: when unsure if a transfusion would be safe, they could try transfusing just a small amount of blood, watch for a bad reaction, and continue only if things look good. If you absolutely have to do a blood transfusion without any testing though, an immediate family member is your best bet: blood types can still differ among a family, but there’s a strong genetic component. (Sadly, this wouldn’t have been an option for Lucy, as her mother was already unwell, and would not have been considered a good transfusion candidate.)

Things get more complicated when you add in the Rhesus factor, which wasn’t discovered until some decades later, and for good reason: bad reactions to Rh+ blood develop in Rh- people only after that first transfusion. While A and B types might be like your racist uncle, the Rh factor is more like putting a dog on your basketball team: you’ll get away with it once, because you’ve brought in something so unexpected no-one’s made a rule about it yet (let alone bothered to come up with anti-dog basketball tactics). Unlike the standard A and B antigens, the immune system has to have 1) seen Rh+ blood, and 2) spent some time thinking about a good plan of attack before it’s ready to do anything about it – by which point the donor blood should be out of your system anyway. It's only the next transfusion after that where you can hit problems.

In practice, the Rh factor is of most concern to Rh- mothers carrying Rh+ babies. The first baby should be fine, but the delivery process can result in some mixing of the mother and baby's blood ‒ and that can leave her immune system primed to take offense at any future passengers of the Rh+ persuasion (why this apparently doesn’t also apply to A and B type babies in A or B negative mothers I’m not sure, but obviously the Rh-immune response works differently). With all today’s modern medical technology, this is something doctors can identify in expectant parents and manage with medication, but obviously they're still going to want to avoid transfusing Rh+ blood into an Rh- patient (especially if they’ve already got Rh+ kids).

Regardless, for our purposes, it’s only from the second transfusion that the Rh factor could trip you up. So could that be an issue for Lucy, if she’s getting so many transfusions? It's harder to find good info on exactly how long the Rh immune reaction takes to develop after the first transfusion, but most of what I could find suggests we’re looking at a period of weeks to months at least. So that’s good news for Lucy: we can ignore Rh factors when we’re calculating her odds of survival.

As a minor aside here, the standard eight blood types you can get by combining A, B and the Rhesus factor aren’t technically the only blood types out there. These three antigens matter most because people both with and without them are common in the broader human population, but a small minority of people are missing other antigens that the rest of us get as standard. European blood banks apparently also classify blood by a Kell factor, and people with anaemia and other conditions likely to require regular transfusions may be checked for several other potential Rh-like issues. A handful of people worldwide have blood classified as neither Rh+ or Rh-, but Rh-null – missing antigens common to 99.9% of the human population, and being in that class is a very mixed blessing. Blood donations from someone Rh-null can be used in recipients with rare blood types that would make them incompatible with almost any other donor. But if someone Rh-null ever needs a blood donation themselves, they’re in big trouble.

So, enough theory. What’s all this mean for Lucy’s odds of making it through 4 blood transfusions from unrelated donors?

Unsurprisingly, ratios of different blood groups vary a lot country to country and population to population, so I looked up ratios in modern Britain (Van Helsing is Dutch, of course, but blood groups in the Netherlands are similar enough to those in the UK that we’ll ignore that, just for simplicity). It’s possible these ratios have drifted since Victorian times, but figuring out how is so far beyond scope here we’re not going to worry about it. As discussed above, we’ll also ignore Rh factors – Lucy’s almost certainly never had a blood transfusion or a baby before, and everything happens far too fast for an Rh-immune response to kick in.

Alright. It’s statistics time!

We don't know Lucy's blood group, so any are possible. For each potential Lucy-blood-group, we can generate a list of blood groups which will be compatible donors (we'll call that list C(x)), and from that, we can calculate the probability that she'll be compatible with any randomly-selected donor. For Lucy to survive, we need her to survive 4 successive blood transfusions, so we’re raising that survival probability to the power of 4. Then to calculate her overall probability of survival, we multiply the survival rate by the odds she’s in that blood group, and add them together (no need to divide by the total population, that’s an easy 100%). So if we let n = number of transfusions and P(x) = probability a person is in blood group x, we get the following lovely equation:

(Yes, I know, I'm sorry ‒ someone out there is going to want to check my working, and I like to be transparent.)

And with that, (assuming I’m not just talking out of my arse with all those calculations), that suggests Lucy’s overall chances of surviving 4 different blood transfusions is about: (drum roll)... 27%. So, roughly 1 in 4.

The really savvy reader might notice that Lucy does not, technically, survive all four transfusions – she dies shortly after the fourth, so it’s conceivable that last transfusion was a mismatch. If we take the requirements down to where Lucy only needs to survive 3 transfusions, her odds go up to 34%, or closer to 1 in 3. Still not great, but given the sorts of crazy one-in-a-million coincidences all fiction is built on, that’s actually pretty reasonable. Even if you do factor in Rh compatibilities, we're still looking at around 21% survival rate after 4 transfusions, which are pretty decent odds in the world of Victorian medicine.

Do those odds sound a little high to you? Here’s something to keep in mind. On paper, Lucy’s odds of surviving even a single random-donor transfusion are only 65%. But given she survived that first transfusion, the odds go up that she’s in one of those near-universal blood groups, and they keep going up. Sure, every new transfusion has a new chance to kill you, but statistically speaking, every transfusion you survive marks you as someone who’s a little more likely to survive the next. So someone who's already survived 2 transfusions has a 76% chance of surviving a 3rd ‒ and if they do survive that 3rd, an 80% chance of surviving a 4th.

As another aside though, even after surviving four successive transfusions, the odds Lucy’s in that lucky AB universal-recipient category are still only about 10% (compared to 3% of the base population). Statistically, it’s still far more likely she’s in the A-group ‒ the second largest group in the UK, and who can receive blood from the other largest group (O), letting them receive blood from a whooping 86% of the population without issue. Aren’t statistics wonderful?

Oh, all right – I’ll stop with the maths. We’ve made our point here.

Now, we could still point out that, for a supposedly-experienced physician, Stoker's Van Helsing seems pretty blase about the possibility his blood transfusions could backfire horribly ‒ but then, Lucy's already on death's door each time he resorts to asking for volunteers. He's doing the only thing that might save her life (and it does, until it doesn't).

To conclude, no-one is going to tell you Dracula makes sense. This is a book which offers no explanation for why Dracula should just happen land in England on the same town where his solicitor’s fiancée just is taking a holiday, let alone the rest of it. And Stoker had no way of knowing Lucy’s actual odds of surviving such a very Victorian procedure. But that whole blood transfusion sequence is far from being the least probable thing in the book. 

[cheemscakecat]

Invincible Spoilers

It actually makes a lot of sense that the Viltrumites latched on to family and changed their worldview because of it.

So for thousands of years, the dominant violent faction that killed the peace-loving Viltrumites sat unchallenged because the old peaceful ways were lost. They believed they were superior to the weaker species around them, and saw them as mere animals. Very few weapons could even hurt them, much less kill.

Under those circumstances, the killing of weak Viltrumites children made a twisted kind of sense. After all, there would always be more Viltrumites having children and the strong would live. They didn’t die often, so in their perspective, children were not such a precious resource as they are to humans.

Someone engineered a virus that could kill them. And it very nearly destroyed the entire species. There were only 50 full-blooded Viltrumites left in the wake of the pandemic.

Like Nolan said, they’re on the brink of extinction.

Nolan wrote books based on his missions to destroy threats to the dying Viltrumites species. He was the guy they sent to deal with threats and see how dangerous they really were.

So he was probably also the first Viltrumite to be tasked with having a hybrid child.

Before the virus, they wouldn’t have had offspring with “lesser beings”, but they couldn’t afford to be so picky with so few in their ranks. So why not send your danger guy to make sure it won’t give you another life threatening disease or result in a deformed child? To see if the rest can follow suit and repopulate with other species.

That’s why they sent him to live with humans, they’re the most compatible species that they could find.

Death shouldn’t be a concern under Viltrumite doctrine. And it wasn’t until the virus. But now that the remaining soldiers have watched their Viltrumite friends and family die, death holds new weight.

Nolan wouldn’t use death as a point to convince Mark if he didn’t somewhat understand the weight of it. And it’s also a point against himself, because he’s arguing out loud with himself at the same time. Why would you fight for Earth and let your people go extinct?

Viltrumite doctrine commands you to kill weak offspring. That’s how things have been done for thousands of years.

But how can a tactical minded-person see the value in doing that?! When the species is nearly extinct and you’ve gone through all the effort of getting attached and trying to raise that child? Old Viltrumite doctrine and the current situation are not compatible.

Nolan is torn between the two ideologies that are telling him how to show loyalty and care. One is telling him that he needs to kill Mark to uphold the holy doctrines of his people. The other is telling him that killing your child is stupid, wasteful, and a disservice to what he’s trying to achieve.

Mark telling him that even if the humans die, they’ll still be together has put more weight on the second, correct ideology. The whole reason you’re even here is to build your species back up and keep it from fading into myth. You care about other Viltrumites. It’s self-sabotaging to destroy the very offspring that you are having to repopulate. And if being half-Viltrumite is enough to make them valuable, shouldn’t the offspring’s life be preserved?

Let’s just get Anissa out of the way first. I’m not defending what she did. She didn’t even want to have kids in the first place, which I think is something the show should expand on. We don’t get to know why, but given the fact they’re meant to have hybrid children, I’m assuming part of it is feeling that the child may be a waste.

It would suck to be pregnant for 9 months only to have something wrong with the baby, especially if in their culture that offspring would be killed at some point. I think she decided to target Mark because he’s already part Viltrumite, and her child would get their powers faster so she could start testing the strength of the child. Wastes less time putting effort into the kid if he or she is not going to grow up Viltrumite material.

The show could also expand on the fact that she has an actual relationship with the father of her second child, and had her of her own volition, not because she was commanded to. It’s implied in the comic, but she needs more development this time around. Anyways, at some point she found actual value in her children, beyond their strength.

Kregg was so down for the cause that he had multiple families at once. And he makes a very good point to Thragg; why shouldn’t we protect our families if we’re repopulating?

He’s got like 10 families, that’s at least 10 Viltrumite kids if everything goes to plan. You really wanna forfeit going from 50 to 60 Viltrumites? Mans just has the natural and sane instinct to protect his loved ones and give his kids the chance to grow up. Thragg doesn’t.

Lucan is one of 50 remaining Viltrumites, and we don’t know the ratio of men to women. But even if there were 25 of each, both genders are a precious resource for repopulating. Should we really be surprised that a man who has had 25 women to choose from at most is unwilling to soil a relationship?

Yes, there’s billions of Earth women, but you don’t go from starving to finding yourself in a supermarket and magically stop being affected by the time you were starving. Kregg stocked up on as many families as possible: Lucan was so used to rationing that he decided to be the best he could to one family, which is still precious even in a sea of options.

Thragg doesn’t understand that. He’s the embodiment of their flawed purging ideology.

Everyone else’s natural nurturing instincts were dormant under the surface, and started sprouting up when they had Earth kids. Thragg’s nurturing instincts are in the Nether for the whole series. He seems dumb because the whole Violent Fascist Viltrumite ideology he lives by is dumb.

It goes against nature and it’s a bad survival strategy. We just get to see it spelled out because the virus has already happened and he isn’t adapting like everyone else. And what’s crazy is that his surviving kids adapted even after all his brainwashing. He could have changed, but he refused and stayed embedded in his ideology his entire life.

I didn’t know where to put Thula, but she’s cool now too. [Cool as in not evil, I mean. She was never lame.]

[lifeonmarz-blog]

12th House MOON Synastry Relationship Stories

🖤🖤🖤

My last four flings moon has been in my 12th house. I’ve been in two of of theirs. I’m a Scorpio moon with Pisces in the 12th house. I always attract pisces moon men. It also doesn’t hurt that my Mercury & Venus are in pisces. My Sun & Venus are also in the 12th house. 

~Person #1 (Both ways)

Our relationship was short lived (6 months) but we both agreed it felt so much longer. Our relationship was long distance, that was a first for me. Actions on both our ends gave us trust issues. We both questioned each others motives. New information would come out and make us question each other, LIKE WHY WOULDNT YOU SAY THAT SOONER. It’s like we new what we wanted from each other but wouldn’t give into what the other person wanted (also bc of mars opp pluto composite) I really felt like I loved him and honestly without much reason. I assume he feels the same. I still feel like our journey isn’t finished yet.

Person #2 (His Moon in my 12H)

This guys moon fell into my 12th house. I see him mostly as a friend we flirt and realistically he’s more compatible with me than others but he doesn’t have his shit together so I just don’t see myself taking him serious right now. Sometimes I feel bad bc I feel like i’m using him for emotional fulfillment and not returning the same care in return. He has been trying to get with me for yearssss. Now we actually have a friendship. I avoided him for awhile bc he had sex with my ex bestfriend. Even though we aren’t friends anymore it was still kind of weird to me although their fling was a one night stand, that just bugged me for awhile. We vent to each other and i feel like i can rely on him to be a support system. I’m still a mystery to him. 

Person #3 (His Moon in my 12H)

 Number 3 was nice but I was intimidated by his financial success and maturity. He chased me for awhile then when he noticed I had lil anger he bowed out pretty fast. Id say i subconsciously sabotaged that relationship by feeling like i didn’t deserve to experience nice things and i felt like i wasn’t on his level. This is stupid yes, but this is the 12th house were talking about I was suppressing this shit.

Person #4 (Both ways)

So this guy had been my crush on instagram for awhile (like yearsss) so we finally start talking and this ended pretty quickly as well bc of mars conjunct pluto and venus opp uranus (i was uranus). I was the pluto person and his temper was short but he was the one who couldn’t handle the relationship. I felt like we wouldve been reallllly close if he had a better temper. He actually really reminded me of myself unfortunately. I liked him and the way he expressed himself. His mars was in my 8th house so he was really invasive about wanting to know about my childhood but i actually liked it. He picked up on little things very easily. 

Closing statements:

I met all of these people online and haven’t met any of them in person because of blockages in our way (really mostly arguing) but distance plays a role as well. All of these started off as crushes. One sided for the men with their moon in my 12th and from my side with #2 and mutual with #1. They disturb something in my psyche for sure. They trigger certain parts of me where I feel I lack. 

-Luv of MARZ

[thesapphireprincess]

🏹 New Chapter 🤍

I feel like a new chapter is starting in my life. These are a few things I have coming in the mail, the books just arrived today. The past 2 months have been a huge learning experience for me. I realized that I haven’t decentered men from my life. Not in a #Ihateallmen kind of way but in a way where “finding a man” isn’t my top priority. Obviously I would like a relationship and to eventually get married but I realized I was still making the same mistake when it came to dating. For example I wasn’t acting like the prize I was still subconsciously behaving like a pick me.

The #1 rule I learned when dating is that if a man is confusing you, interrupting your peace or not meeting your standards, drop him. I unfortunately haven’t been listening to this when it comes to my love language. I was doing really good at first until I met this really handsome guy and everything seemed fine at first except for his texting style then the second date is where the test happened and I failed. I didn’t listen, actually I ignored it and then I got into a relationship with someone I didn’t know very well and immediately regretted it after. To make a long story short, him and I were not compatible at all not in any single way. He was just super hot & tall. It started fast and ended just as quickly. Hopefully I never hear from him again it’s been almost a week since we last spoke.

The problem with that relationship was #1 we weren’t compatible, #2 I could tell he wasn’t use to being a provider, he still did what he was supposed to but he would always make little comments, #3 we rushed into things because of the attraction, #4 I ignored every red flag, I even wrote them down but still chose to ignored them, #5 He started putting me in my masculine energy when he started to do the bare minimum or less, #6 He was messing with my mental health, #7 he never brought me flowers or gifts and last but not least, #8 His personality, friends and habits were not the vibe. You don’t even wanna know.

I almost gave up on men again when I realized that it’s my fault for not listening to myself and not vetting him. I chose to continue with him every though I knew he wasn’t the one. I now know how to move forward with dating. I am not perfect but I definitely need to work on cutting men off who confuse me or interrupt my peace. No second chances. Usually when something doesn’t work out with a person weather it’s dating or friends I’ll give up, isolate myself for months and not try to meet anyone new until I’m ready again. I learned that I shouldn’t let one person stop me from meeting other great people. There are 7 billion people on earth not everyone is the same. I’m ready to keep it pushing and move forward. The universe/god only wants what is best for me and they wouldn’t want anyone in my life who isn’t meant to be there.

[ranahan]

What I would have done differently

Nobody asked, but I was thinking about this the other day so you get it anyway. I think I’ve mentioned previously that I’ve reused parts of an old conlang project that happened to have basically identical design goals for my version of Mando’a. So I got to thinking, what were the bits that didn’t make the jump to Mando’a? Or in other words: what did I do so differently it wasn’t compatible with canon?

To be clear, these are just idle musings about conlanging, not a serious proposal to make changes to Mando’a.

More elaborate pronoun system

My conlang had a more elaborate pronoun system inspired by Sámi and Polynesian languages.

Singular, dual (for battle buddies), and plural number

Obviate, distal, and further distal pronouns (like English this, that, yonder)

I don’t know if mandos make heavy enough use of the battle buddy system to justify the dual number, so no hard feelings about that. But I am a little disappointed about tossing the obviate/distal/further distal distinction—that would seem like a really handy feature for discussing e.g. terrain or strategy, or a handy way to distinguish between multiple people that isn’t gender. Imagine if English she/he/they (sg.), but she referred to somebody standing close by, he referred so somebody a little further away, and they referred to somebody who isn’t present. My conlang actually had this distinction in basically all persons, but that’s another story because some of the combinations are not intuitive.

Also considering how much time mandos devote to squabbling about who is or isn’t a proper Mandalorian, you’d think Traviss would have given them an inclusive/exclusive “we” distinction like Polynesian languages, lol. But maybe it’s better that they don’t have it.

Absolute direction

Cardinal directions (north/south/west/east) instead of left/right. Some aboriginal Australian languages have this feature and it’s extremely cool. But while it made sense for a language spoken by outdoorsy people on Earth, I’m less sure about using it for spacefaring Mandalorians, since there are no cardinal directions in space.

I did however, retcon it in a bit. Mando’a has two sets of left/right words: staabi/payt and kad/kal. So if you use kad/kal for armour pieces, presumably you would also use it for hands (since that’s where it comes from: sword arm and blade arm, since apparently mandos don’t do shields lol) and other parts of a person. So what would you use staabi/payt for then? I thought that could be starboard/port, which is basically absolute direction on shipboard. It could even be extended for buildings etc (absolute orientation relative to the main entrance—or just use cardinal directions). So basically a person has a swordarm and a sidearm side that are relative to them, but they’re going to take a bow/stern/staabi/payt turn inside a ship, and that’s always going to be the ship’s bow/stern/starboard/port of the ship, not theirs.

tldr: I found it a little odd that there are two left and right words in Mando’a, but I think that could be explained by mandos being a nomadic culture and using starboard/port more often and for more things than e.g. English does. Also fun opportunities for “lost in translation” moments, lol.

Aspects

My language had essentially a four-way verbal conjugation, where each verb was marked for stative or progressive and atelic or telic aspect (and you might already guess, but adjectives were actually just one conjugation of verbs). Time was marked by adverbs.

Progressive vs. static aspect—compare “I’m dressing up” vs. “I’m dressed”/“I’m wearing (it)”.

Completive/telic aspect—marking task completion, compare “I shot at the bear (but the bear may still live)” vs. “I shot the bear dead”.

I don’t think having a few conjugations would add that much complexity to the grammar. Kind of the contrary, actually: you need some way to express these things anyway, so I find encoding them in the verb phrase to be a rather simple solution. The progressive/static aspect can also shoulder some lexical load, allowing you to make double use of some verbs (like dress/wear being expressed by the same verb).

I wouldn’t do aspects exactly the same way in Mando’a as I did them in my old conlang. But I would perhaps add a preverbal or sentence final completive particle (like in some creole languages) and some easy and common way to talk about non-punctual aspect (probably a locative expression).

[unohanabbygirl]

Can I just say that I’ve loved the way you’ve characterized/conceptualized Daeron in your asks? He seems like such a sweet and good man who is almost like Luke’s soulmate in a way (a feeling not built upon abo compatibility but actually liking each other). Helping Luke heal by not inserting/forcing himself as a mate/husband like Aemond does, but by respecting him because his faith deems it so. (Which btw it’s so fascinating that Alicent uses the faith as a weapon of oppression while Daeron actually believes in it.) It makes me want to see Luke end up with Daeron in all your fics. What would an FMN Daeron look like and would Aemond even have a chance with Daeron in the picture? I would find it interesting if Daeron couldn’t forgive himself or the greens for the war and so he was mostly separate from the family and their somewhat toxic behavior with Luke. I also imagine that he wouldn’t imitate any sexual act with Luke because unlike Aemond he actually knows and believes that r*pe by deception is actually SA. I also would imagine that Daeron’s and Luke’s relationship would TOTALLY make Aemond undo all the work he’s done on himself.

Daeron is the best boy fr. I think what really draws me to him is the fact that out of all the Targtower kids he’s the one who’s least close in their problem-filled tight knit family that dosen’t know how to properly show love. In this big fight of blacks vs greens he honors his family by siding with them only because of familial loyalty and not much more since unlike the majority of these people he doesn’t have a real dog in their fight. Rhaenyra never seemingly betrayed their friendship or disliked him as a child, Luke didn’t take his eye, and Viserys never ignored him because he wasn’t there to be ignored. He’s a good kid that holds no personal grudges against anyone. He only wants to honor his family even though they only know each other through monthly letters.

Growing up at oldtown really made Daeron the person he is. Over there the faith wasn’t something to be used as a means of feeling righteous or holier than thou but a true set of believes meant to be followed and never disgraced for your own personal gain. Was raised by those who taught that kindness is meant to come from the good of your heart and respect for the virtues of their faith whereas Otto taught Alicent to weaponize it and so her first three children learned the same.

Daeron being in FMN would def lead to an actual love triangle where Aemond highkey doesn’t truly stand a chance lmao. He’s that one person who doesn’t impose his presence on Luke whatsoever and instead waits to be approached rather than do the approaching. He’s all around chill and doesn’t ask questions that go deeper than “what do you wanna watch?” or “Pizza sound good?”

Daeron isn’t caught up in the crusade to get Lucerys back because he’d only met the guy once and he doesn’t even remember it because they were toddlers at the time or so he was told. He doesn’t care to win Luke’s heart or friendship but just, well…vibe. And if Luke wants to do so alongside him then great, if he doesn’t that’s great too. And beginning to feel the slowly building sparks between them over the following months leads him to confront it outright rather than leaving everything up in the air because Daeron knows communication is key. Sitting Luke down and going “I like what this is and you like it too, but I don’t want anything too serious right now. If you need to find something physical with others then I’m all for that, there’s no rush for us to be serious.”

Waiting for Luke is easy if it means when they finally get together there’s no lingering past deceit. Just two people who like-like each other. Very casual yet still loving. Luke thrives in it, most are happy for them, and Aemond is a very depressed boy.

[giggly-toybox]

Thank you for taking my request I really enjoyed it but can I please ask for him again but how would he react to kianna practically being the definition of looks kind deceive seeing how some people think she's innocent and naive for multiple reasons just for her to be extremely manipulative and good at torturing

My AU is that they work together and work for the same family and that's how they met but she would never manipulate him

I love my cute but dangerous OC

Kurapika with a Kianna s/o part 2

I know the title is boring I’m sorry I don’t know what else to call it 😭 but this one was fun to write! I hope you like it

At first, Kurapika might be taken aback by the stark contrast between his s/o’s appearance and her actual nature

Her innocent facade would initially confuse him

He'd want to shield her from potential dangers if her manipulative tendencies ever got her into trouble

Kurapika, being perceptive himself, would find the contradiction intriguing

He’d admire her ability to navigate the world with such a clever disguise, even if it contrasts sharply with his own principles

Kurapika respects her adeptness at manipulation and interrogation, recognizing her skills as invaluable assets to their shared work

Given their work within the Nostrade family, Kurapika quickly realized the depth of her cunning and manipulative nature

Their compatibility extends beyond their personal relationship into their professional lives

They find themselves complementing each other's skills, understanding how to navigate the complexities of their work within the Nostrade family efficiently

Despite her darker skills, Kurapika remains steadfastly supportive of her, acknowledging her abilities without a lot of judgment

[wherewhereare]

@formerdetective 's View on the TIWTTFL bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a Trilogy (Parts 1 and 2 of 3 parts)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

The song "obsessed" confuses me, I can't wrap my head around it in context to B & G's relationship.

— Asked by Anonymous

Okay, I look at the bonus songs “Obsessed,” “Getting Warmer,” and “Splash” as a trilogy. This is just my own interpretation, obviously, but here you go!

Gwen was a few weeks into the writing process when she got back to the Voice in late June. Which, it seems, means she was starting to heal a bit but also, her emotions were right at the surface. She was feeling everything really acutely, you know what I’m saying?

So then she gets to the set and here’s this guy. He’s her favorite co-worker, she’s had a crush on him since the day they met, practically, and she finds out not only is he single now, he’s also dealing with literally the exact same thing she is. So on top of liking him for all the reasons she liked him before, and they’re both available now, but he’s also maybe the only person in her life that can truly relate to what she’s going through. For a person who is already super intense, that is just so much.

Because of this shared connection on top of liking him (in whatever way), I think probably those days on the voice set they spent all of their time together, and even though they were both still really raw it started being more about each other than about venting about their exes/situations. And then, a kiss that was literally life-changing. (Or maybe an evening of kissing, let’s be real.)

And this is where Obsessed comes in. They’ve been hanging out so much, and the energy between them is totally intense. One lyric: “Cuz we keep locking eyes.”

And by this point, she likes him so much, it’s completely overwhelming. I think in the song “Obsessed” she’s trying to convince herself it’s not about him, he’s just a distraction, someone/something to keep her mind off of her problems. “She’s chasing a feeling and she can’t turn it off.” And the reason I think she’s trying to convince herself comes from the lyrics, “I’m pretending I’m falling in love” and then “Living in a dream don’t mean anything, my brain’s unorganized.” So she feels like she’s living in a dream when they’re hanging out? That’s major. She’s so into it that she literally doesn’t even want to go home, she just turns the car around to go hang with him instead. (I know this song seems super sexual but she might really just mean hanging out with him. Or maybe making out….I kind of feel like there was some making out.)

And I think she was trying to convince herself because she was freaked out. “There’s no way in the world that I would ever think that I would have this feeling that I’m having right now. WHAT!?” Like it had been a looong time since she was looking forward to seeing someone like this. And when she didn’t expect it at all. Had to freak bb out.

Anyway, not that you asked, but then we get to “Getting Warmer” where she seems to have accepted he’s not just a distraction, she actually really likes him. They are in similar situations, and they are such similar people, it seems like they probably talked a lot about having partners who lied–major, longterm lies, and were just generally not very loving, supportive people. Which is fine, except B/G are such kind and affectionate people there’s some compatibility issues. Which I’m guessing they vented about a lot. So knowing that he was suffering for the same reasons she was, which implies he wanted the same things she wanted…on top of really liking him…she’s like, woah, maybe this could like, be a real thing. But she was still so insecure, I think she really thought maybe he was just using her as a rebound…since as many people have pointed out to me, he was not as far along in his healing at this point (July). So in Getting Warmer Gwen’s basically asking him, do you like me, because I like you and I think this could be something.

And finally Splash…she realizes this is too intense, too perfect to not be real, and so what the hell, she’s diving in. By beautiful coincidence, I have read a lot about yogic philosophy and Kundalini energy is sexual, but it’s also a path to enlightenment. In the song she’s literally singing about how this energy between them is spiritual…like the universe has put them together. And she’s feeling so good because of him, so she’s decided it needs to happen. Like she said after listening to this song on repeat during her vacation, her life changed forever. I think it really was her way of convincing herself he was worth the risk. Basically I think Obsessed is about how much she likes him, but she’s trying to convince herself it’s just physical attraction, or just a crush, something to distract her because she’s tired of feeling bad.

1.1.1  Obsessed (Part 1 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

Gwen was a few weeks into the writing process when she got back to the Voice in late June. Which, it seems, means she was starting to heal a bit but also, her emotions were right at the surface. She was feeling everything really acutely, you know what I’m saying?

So then she gets to the set and here’s this guy. He’s her favorite co-worker, she’s had a crush on him since the day they met, practically, and she finds out not only is he single now, he’s also dealing with literally the exact same thing she is. So on top of liking him for all the reasons she liked him before, and they’re both available now, but he’s also maybe the only person in her life that can truly relate to what she’s going through. For a person who is already super intense, that is just so much.

Because of this shared connection on top of liking him (in whatever way), I think probably those days on the voice set they spent all of their time together, and even though they were both still really raw it started being more about each other than about venting about their exes/situations. And then, a kiss that was literally life-changing. (Or maybe an evening of kissing, let’s be real.)

And this is where Obsessed comes in. They’ve been hanging out so much, and the energy between them is totally intense. One lyric: “Cuz we keep locking eyes.”

And by this point, she likes him so much, it’s completely overwhelming. I think in the song “Obsessed” she’s trying to convince herself it’s not about him, he’s just a distraction, someone/something to keep her mind off of her problems. “She’s chasing a feeling and she can’t turn it off.” And the reason I think she’s trying to convince herself comes from the lyrics, “I’m pretending I’m falling in love” and then “Living in a dream don’t mean anything, my brain’s unorganized.” So she feels like she’s living in a dream when they’re hanging out? That’s major. She’s so into it that she literally doesn’t even want to go home, she just turns the car around to go hang with him instead. (I know this song seems super sexual, but she might really just mean hanging out with him. Or maybe making out….I kind of feel like there was some making out.)

And I think she was trying to convince herself because she was freaked out. “There’s no way in the world that I would ever think that I would have this feeling that I’m having right now. WHAT!?” Like it had been a looong time since she was looking forward to seeing someone like this. And when she didn’t expect it at all. Had to freak bb out.

1.1.2  Getting Warmer (Part 2 of a 3 part trilogy)

Credit: @formerdective.  Direct extract from her blog.

Anyway, not that you asked, but then we get to “Getting Warmer” where she seems to have accepted he’s not just a distraction, she actually really likes him. They are in similar situations, and they are such similar people, it seems like they probably talked a lot about having partners who lied–major, longterm lies, and were just generally not very loving, supportive people. Which is fine, except B/G are such kind and affectionate people there’s some compatibility issues. Which I’m guessing they vented about a lot. So knowing that he was suffering for the same reasons she was, which implies he wanted the same things she wanted…on top of really liking him…she’s like, woah, maybe this could like, be a real thing. But she was still so insecure, I think she really thought maybe he was just using her as a rebound…since as many people have pointed out to me, he was not as far along in his healing at this point (July). So in Getting Warmer Gwen’s basically asking him, do you like me, because I like you and I think this could be something.

[055u4ry]

I think I’m in an emotional affair. I always just assumed that if it wasn’t physical that it was fine. To be honest I still kind of feel that way. But I had never considered that I could be involved in emotional cheating that could be affecting the other person’s marriage. I mean, I don’t know if that’s actually the case but… either way I should lay off. Unfortunately when you’re genuinely in love with someone it takes tremendous effort to walk away. And I have to work with this person too. I feel like there has to be a way to successfully remain friends without it veering into romantic territory. Because I know I don’t have the strength to walk away. This person is the first good thing to happen to me in like 10 years, relationship-wise (not only romantically but platonically as well). You must understand I’m never really happy. I never have been, except for the few times I thought I was being loved. He’s become my muse, and I figured as long as he wasn’t reciprocating what I felt inside that everything was hunky dory. Except the closer we get the more I realize it’s not that simple. He vents about things to me, gives me little gifts, he believes in me. He’s not an idiot and I think he knows there’s feelings there that go beyond friendship. I don’t think he’d admit that, but I think deep down he’s aware of us being romantically compatible, even though neither of us would ever act on it physically.

[altschmerzes]

Hey you don’t have to answer this obvs if it’s something you don’t want to share/talk about but I’m curious how did you meet your wife/navigate getting married in an aromantic way? I kinda feel like I might be aro and I’m getting older and feeling like. I want a partner and I don’t want to be alone but I don’t know if I really feel romantic love, and I just feel kinda hopeless about finding that, but it’s nice knowing there are people who do find it.

absolutely, yeah!!! i love to talk about my relationship honestly, for a lot of reasons (it makes me feel very happy and warm inside, and i love to talk about this wonderful thing i have in my life with this wonderful person, i am a Wife Guy for real) but also for exactly this reason too - bc i don't think a lot of people know that what we have, what we're doing, is an option. or if they do think of it, they don't think it's realistic or something that can actually happen.

i spent a long time thinking that what i wanted, the thing that would actually make me happy, that i daydreamed about just... it was a nice thought but the odds that i would be able to actually have it were so low that it didn't warrant thinking about at all. i wanted a partner, someone i could live with and raise kids with and build a life together with, and i wanted it completely platonically. i didn't want romance and i didn't want sex either but i did want intimacy, emotionally and physically. i assumed this would only be possible with another aro(ace) person, because i didn't think anyone who wasn't aroace would want that, or that it would be like. unfair somehow, or asking someone to give enormous things up to be with me. (this was all a bunch of jumping to assumptions and internalized bullshit, btw. my fiancee is a lesbian and is just as happy as i am, wants our marriage and our life together, exactly the way that it is, just as much as i do - and has been extremely patient and kind in reassuring me of this.)

(haha this got long again, it usually seems to when i'm talking about My Aro Experience and relationships and em sldj. further under the cut-)

and then it was like, well, i already have no idea how i'd meet another aroace person irl, and even then i have no idea if we'd be compatible. if we'd have the same values and vision for our lives. if they'd want kids. if they'd be comfortable with the kind of physical affection i really wanted to engage in. etc. so i just kind of told myself that y'know, it would have been nice if i had the option of not being alone, but i didn't, so i had to just get used to it. (and it is perfectly fine if someone wants to be alone. that's great. that's a huge thing the aro community is fighting for all of the time. but i did not want that. i just thought it was the only choice i had, if i wasn't willing to force myself into a romantic and probably sexual relationship i didn't want.

my wife and i actually met quite a while back, when we were like. sixteen or so, online. we've been friends for a really long time. which is why when im asked how long we've been together by people who don't know our relationship is platonic, or that i'm aro, or whatever, i have a hard time answering it XD. because like, our engagement was the first we'd ever decided to Be In A RelationshipTM, but if you think about it as a progression of the same relationship we've always had, just as dating before an engagement would be, we've been together for like. coming up on close to ten years.

figuring out navigating our relationship has been a little difficult at times but mostly it's been absolutely wonderful. difficult mostly in the sense that there's no script for this, nothing set out that tells us this is what a relationship like ours is supposed to look like, or usually looks like. we've had to figure it out ourselves. but also that's one of the things that's really been wonderful about it. we can decide at every single point what it is we want, what it is that'll make us happy.

like - at first we decided to have separate bedrooms when we moved in together after we finished our respective degrees/got married/got immigration all sorted out. and then after sharing one when we went to my hometown to introduce em to my family we were like. well. we were fools, huh. so, turns out we're sharing a bedroom. (and i'm... really happy with that, particularly, because it turns out i sleep really well when em and i are together. i used to write a lot about characters sleeping in the same bed, cuddling, etc, and i still do, but i always sort of assumed it was completely obvious i had no idea what i was talking about bc it couldn't possibly be the way i described it. and now that i've been there, it's better.)

the rest of the world is a little trickier, haha. it's a little weird and bad sometimes that people are constantly assuming i'm in a romantic relationship, tbh. even in the aro community i see a lot of people talking like the only people around are nonpartnering/single or in romantic relationships. and the rest of the world, people who don't know i'm aro or who do but like.... forget that a lot? or assume it's changed or doesn't matter or something? is kind of exhausting and uncomfortable. for the most part, we don't bother explaining the nature of our relationship to people. this is also something we talked about! we discussed how much we wanted to clarify or contextualize, and decided that ultimately like... with the exception of people we're very close to, and in contexts like this (fairly anonymous post on ye olde internet with the ability to immediately block anyone who clowns on it), it's really nobody's business unless we decide it is and we're cool with just letting people assume whatever. that doesn't mean it doesn't suck sometimes, but it's a calculus i've made and we've made together.

anyways, just. there you have it!!! i trust my fiancee and i love them and they love me and our greatest priority is always making sure the other person feels safe and loved and respected. and i feel that in every conversation we have. it's a unique situation and we've had to figure a lot of things out along the way, and that's included a lot of conversations i just don't know how to have, but we've figured it out together. i felt hopeless for a really long time, too. i wish i could go back and tell myself in the past where i'd end up. and that's part of why i keep talking about it so much and so openly, so that people know they don't have to just... there are options, y'know? options for going after what you want and talking about what you want with anyone in your life who you have a significant relationship with. i could've cheated myself out of the best thing that's ever happened to me by assuming it just wasn't possible. i'm so glad that i didn't.