#(except morgana turning evil)

[dream-in-a-jar]

BBC Merlin - S5E3 "The Death Song of Uther Pendragon" live blog(-ish)

First of all I didn't expect the German title to actually be the literal translation of the English one, huh

Arthur immediately pardoning the old woman/sorceress, interesting! Truly a good king

Omg they replaced Gaius with a new clip of Uther 👀 its so short though 😭

Typical Arthur having bad ideas lol, somehow using magic is always okay when it comes to his father (ironically)

Thats...... Stonehenge ???

Damn, dead Uther is even more ruthless than alive Uther ...Terrible influence ngl

Arthurs gonna get usurped by his dead father I can already see it happening

Gosh what a jumpy episode

Uthers spirit out here terrorizing Gwen 😭😭 Hes straight up trying to murder her where are all the guards in the castle 😭😭😭

Merlin to the rescue!

Didnt Uther try to execute Gwen at least twice while he was still alive too?

Im glad that even in serious episodes we get some bickering and bantering

Lmao Gaius did this on purpose Im sure

Merlin has been promoted to potion tester!

Poetry!! :D Finally seeing this scene in context and its even greater than out of context lol 😭😭

Oh my goodness that jumpscareㅡ perhaps this isnt the best episode to watch at *checks clock* 1am

I've never watched Ghostbusters but I imagine this is what its like

Kinda hilarious to just imagine Uther wandering around and shaking and throwing stuff in what is essentially a temper tantrum

Ooooh that was a very nice shot of Uther passing behind Arthur!!

Dead!Uther sitting on the throne lowkey goes hard

Not him trying to kill his son now??? Bro you're dead, you cant rule Camelot anymore!!

WHOAAA I didnt think that Uther would actually find out about Merlins magic 👀👀👀 especially not after his death lol

He just went flying straight through the wall 😭😭

HAH suck it Arthur, youre not gonna snitch on Merlin, let alone kill him 😤😤

I feel bad for Arthur though, hearing such harsh words from your father and seeing him do these things (attempting to murder his wife, and his servant!!) ... and that will forever(?) be his last memory of Uther. Its kinda tragic

I love to heart-to-hearts between Merlin and Arthur (sprinkled with bantering), it warms my hㅡ LMAO the glove-slap 😭😭😭 Merlin let the intrusive thoughts win

That was a good episode!! Probably not the best to watch before bed and its 1.30am now but it had some great emotional beats mixed with a bit of fun and whimsy that I love about this show :) Also Uther now knows Merlins biggest secret and he cant/couldnt tell Arthur hehehe

Next episode seems interesting too and appears to have a lot of action again!!

[idkaguyorsomething]

happy anniversary to bbc merlin, which had borderline inexplicable plot holes, terrible special effects, a side character that kept coming back from the dead for no discernible reason, a status quo that moved at a snail’s pace, bizarre character progression, a show finale that decided to do all the consequences that could’ve been spaced out in a more natural progression at once, and a very special place in my heart 🥰

[twistedshipper]

prompt: "frozen" | Morgana & Morgause | Not Rated | references to illness & dying

{Midwinter written for @merlinmicrofic}

Out of doors, the wind blew wild across a frozen landscape, the birch and alder with branches bare and quaking against the gale, below them, drifts upon drifts of snow, a world etched in white and silver, stinging with penetrating cold.

Sighting ghosts of her breath in the air, Morgana hurried onward into the winter wood, wrapping her wolf fur tighter about her, whispering words of prayer that the Cailleach spare she and her sister on this the longest night of the year before the sun’s rebirth come the dawn.

It had been an uncharacteristically cold winter this season for Camelot, with days of sleet and snow, as opposed to the onslaught of rain, and a dampness that set into the bones, which only a warm fire burning in the hearth of the ramshackle hovel both she and Morgause occupied could possibly offset.  

It was for that very reason, she had headed deep into the forest, in search of wood to stoke that very fire, that must never go out for her ailing sister’s sake, or so Morgana ruminated in her desperation to see Morgause restored to her former health the summer past when they, the two of them in their prime, had succeeded in usurping the throne from her tyrannous father and ruling the kingdom for a smattering of days before everything—their dreams, their cause—came crashing down asunder, and Morgause had nearly died.

Was dying, Morgana reflected as she collected her bundle of wood, and there was nothing she could do to stop the slow encroach of death, so akin to the onslaught of winter when it comes. As a child, she had seen this season as a time of joy, a festivity of light in the months of darkness, as they welcomed the solstice and the newborn sun with drink and merriment and candles in every window. Now though, the beeswax tapers she took for granted back in Camelot were few to come by and ever precious in the hovel of their making, and there was little to revel about; they had lost the battle, though the war still raged on, howling like the wind without.

Nothing she could do except on this night forage the wood for a charm to safeguard the life remaining in Morgause’s body. She thought to do so by hanging a branch of evergreen upon the few windows and single door, the entry points to the hovel, a means in the days of the Old Religion to ward off evil and illness.

Thus, as she approached the heart of the wood, sighting with awe the towering stature of the pine, and slipping her boline out of her skirt, she sliced open a nick upon her palm, giving to the tree her blood, as she intended to retrieve from the tree its essence in return; in such a manner, she collected its sacred branches, breathing in their earthly scent with relish, and then, her task done, turned toward the wind and home.

[doctorofmagic]

Why magic in the MCU has failed

I remember the "good" old days when Doctor Strange was about to debut back in 2016. I was obsessed with spotting every single little magic detail in the MCU in the hope that magic would slowly grow in status and importance, only to give up after so much disappointment.

But the major issue? The moment Feige stated that every side project was a part of the MCU. People who experienced phase 1 and 2 will remember that magic was a taboo. "It's just science we don't understand yet". While it's a common line quoted by Marvel's greatest geniuses, we all know it's pure arrogance on their part. Otherwise, they'd be doing what magic users do.

It was not MCU's case. Magic was INDEED treated as science. From Ghost Rider's portal being reproduced by a robot through the Darkhold to Wanda's powers being a product of an experiment but not explained at all. From a loooong season of Cloak and Dagger taking its time to finally introduce magic elements to Nico's staff almost falling to the same old "technology" trope. From whatever is happening in Asgard to Loki's limited magic. It's frustrating, but we'd still find a way to turn the tables, right? The Dark Dimension was introduced (twice?), the (third) Darkhold was finally attached to Chthon, Morgana and Lorelei debuted, Nico's powers were finally acknowledge as magic... So what happened?

My best guess? Structure.

There's no structure to define what is magic in the MCU. Doctor Strange (2016) tried. Really hard. And, although it got several things right, it failed in two fundamental aspects: pre-established comic book knowledge and magic deities.

Remember how we got three Darkholds? The first was just so detached from magic that it became a book used to create a VIRTUAL world in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. The second was used by Morgan le Fey, but how was she associated with the Dark Dimension? Moreover, that was NOT the Dark Dimension from the first DS movie (or any comic book, really). Its last appearance, as seen in WandaVision and DSITMOM, finally mentioned Chthon, but it literally did NOTHING it was supposed to do. That MCU!Wanda has nothing to do with her 616 version, this is not new. But if we're going to use comic books as foundation to adapt a story, the very bare minimum you can do is do it right. Point is, the book does corrupt people, but it's because of Chthon's influence and his connection to Wanda. Where's Chthon in the movie? The corruption was badly explored and her journey towards evil and redemption doesn't make any sense from a magic point.

Now, the "main" magic cast in the MCU could have worked... Except that there's little to no information regarding how Kamar-Taj works as a temple/school for new sorcerers. And worse even, magic isn't connected to its deities. Sure, there were a few name drops, but does it explain where it comes from? And who chooses the next sorcerer supreme if the Vishanti isn't involved?

The truth is, magic was all over the place, and the creative minds were either too oblivious to the importance of learning about how magic works in comics (to the point of adapting a second Dark Dimension that has nothing to do with the original one) or too shy to introduce a magic hierarchy (as in, deities).

There's an actual attempt to create this structure now, but it's too late. Sure, you can ignore past tv shows, but the mess remains. Eternity was supposed to be an abstract entity, deeply connected to magic, cosmic aspects and life itself.

Loki is still so embarrassing because the very foundation of Asgardian mythos started wrong (and why is that? Because no magic, of course!). While I find funny that Stephen trapped Loki in an endless freefall, there's no way the god of stories would be humiliated like that. Loki being taught magic by his alts is infuriating (and it's, again, mostly illusions).

Remember when Stephen was beaten by math? That also happened.

This is the moment I completely give up to see magic portrayed at its fullest, in all its beauty and complexity. Because it's not treated the way it deserves. It has never been.

And here's my boldest take: if you really wish to see the full potential of magic in the MCU, go for What If. The price you pay, the cosmic proportion of being misused, the creative elements... It's all there. Which is sad because it's not the main timeline. Anyways, this is it.

PS: This post may age poorly as DS3 comes out in 20 years. Let's wait and see.

[iamafictionfreak]

TIS THE SEASON TO BE MERTHUR!

Just... Look at them!

I miss everything about this show. Even the very bad CGI and the weak-ass plot points/armour/conveniences/contrivances.

One Christmas Eve, almost 11 years ago, the entire Merlin fandom was butchered into tiny little distraught pieces. It didn’t matter if your favourite character was Merlin or Morgana, Gaius or Gwen. The showrunners held no qualms in destroying your dreams for Gwaine or Perce. The writers did not hold back in their aim to crucify the smile on your face, to forever turn it upside down. No ship was spared. All hopes for the show to finally commit to their original intent, to bring peace between peoples, to save Albion, to allow Merlin his freedom and Arthur the truth, was brought to a bitter, fatalistic end.

Not that I need to repeat this to you, you know what happened, but it’s worth reiterating that this travesty occurred… on Christmas Eve.

CHRISTMAS. EVE.

Christmas Eve.

The night before Christmas, the night before the day where all rules are broken and we can frolic like children around a decorated tree filled with twinkling lights, our collective hearts were shredded.

This event (once we recovered a tiny bit from the shock) gave birth to a plethora of astonishingly well written, poignant, devastating, hilarious fanfictions that had helped nurse our wounds, for nothing could TRULY heal (except a follow-up season with the original characters, come ON BBC) us.

After nearly 11 years of watching these brilliant entries grow, I never thought I’d jump on this bandwagon and write my own fic.

But I've had a few very shit years, as have many people around the world, and I started to wonder as we do when we want to prove magic can still happen.

My brain decided that it wanted my hands to write the most indulgent, likely over done fic in existence for the fandom. This thought stuck with me throughout the year – I was being STALKED by myself – and wouldn’t leave me the hell alone. This hasn’t happened in a long while.

Still… you’ll eyeroll at the idea. It's so OBVIOUS, I'm embarrassed by myself.

What if Arthur discovered Merlin’s magic from the get-go, from episode 1?

WAIT. Hear me out…

So, Merlin saves Arthur for the first time and Arthur SEES. He sees his eyes glow.

He knows he should tell his father, but his instincts are screaming at him. Honour is at stake. This stranger saved his life. How could he reward it with an execution? So, a chance needs to be given, doesn’t it? A chance for Merlin to give up magic forever and live a life of goodness, to turn away from evil and serve Arthur…

Except Arthur can’t help but wonder. About Magic, about Merlin and magic, about the law and all the whys attached and his place within this chain.

But he also can’t trust this peasant who cavorts with the devil, practices wickedness but smiles like a child and offers compassion to everyone. Someone so duplicitous must be dangerous… except Merlin’s an actual idiot! And it’s getting really difficult to keep his guard up.

But isn’t that how sorcerers work? They twist the mind with pleasing ideas, they tempt and coerce, they manipulate.

And slowly, Arthur finds himself being manipulated too. For how could he ever want to trust this man- but he does. He does.

And we’ve never been allowed to see Merlin deal with a S1 Arthur who’s in the ‘know’. Who’s forcing him to keep it secret, who’s threatening him with trial by fire, a young Arthur who’s ignorant, arrogant and so desperate to understand what he cannot trust.

Then there's the layers, royalty versus peasantry, friendship versus alliances, goals versus ideals.

I want to write a fic where this trust is built from the ground up. One of the things about the show that made it impossible for me to let it go is that the ‘relationship’ between Arthur and Merlin fits exactly zero categories, yet all of them.

Master and servant.

Friends

Family

Allies

Enemies

Romantic ideals

Platonic soulmates

Absolute Soulmates

I could go on. And it's one of those rare shows where the writing would be given more oomph if the males leads had dared cross a line or two.

Realistically, they weren't even friends. They were master and servant who'd become a little co-dependant. Arthur could never admit to anything more because of his station, but would he have been able to being completely himself around Merlin if he'd known the truth? We never see Arthur truly be himself. He wasn't allowed to be, not even with his wife. There was always a wall - it was how he was raised and any attempt to develop was killed by plot.

We never saw Merlin completely free, not with a single person. He started happy and healthy and innocent. A liar. He ended up bitter and terrified and angry and alone. Still a liar.

What would he have become if there'd been one person he could truly trust- not Gaius. Not a man already broken and brainwashed by his own self. A victim of the system just as much as he perpetuated the hate and completely unaware of the trap he lived in.

Many of the characters in the show have the versatility and potential to be written a trillion different ways, is it any wonder that fics continue to be written?

Well, I wanted to explore a slow burn development of trust, with Arthur learning how wrong he was, how much he’s trampled on, and all about the seemingly normal peasant boy who meant more to the world than Arthur could possibly understand. What would they have become if they’d been given the time, hm?

When they were young - yes, I'm going there - wild and free.

What of Morgana, what if she could have trusted? What if she could have understood? Would it have turned out differently? Would she have still become the other side of Uther's coin?

Would Merlin still have ended up alone?

There’s lots more I wanted to touch upon, it’s a big what if, but that’ll have to wait for another post.

I’m writing a 5 part prologue that occurs between episode 1 and 2. I’m hoping to release it for Christmas and then take the time to write the rest of the season.

Unless… you guys think it’s a waste of time? Let me know.

In the meantime, I’m STILL SUFFERING (fucking show) and it's making me write, write, write!

(gifs not mine)

[astraea802]

Merlin "Rewatch" w/ Mom -- 5x10

("Rewatch" here meaning "Mostly first time watch, but with the knowledge of what happens.)

First of all: WHAT THE HECK WAS UP WITH THAT HORRIFIC FACE DISFIGUREMENT THING AT THE END?? I've never seen ANYONE discuss how messed up that is, and they SHOULD. I know this aired in the same time slot as Doctor Who, but Mom and I were NOT prepared.

Second of all: Uggghhhh

We're coming into the final three episodes.

Mom doesn't want to know what's coming, but knows it won't end well. She suspects Arthur's going to die (but we all know it's the execution that's the real kicker).

I will say, I was surprised Season 5 has actually had a lot of nice moments I never knew. It's a little moodier than I'd like, and Merlin as a character makes me sad, but there's still some nice comedy and character moments. Like Arthur saving that woman from being burned at the stake, that was so good! (Maybe it's easier for me to appreciate certain scenes knowing what's going to happen? I'm not as tense?)

(It also helps I sat out The Disir and The Dark Tower since I was walking the dog. I don't know I could have bore either without spoiling the finale out of pure frustration)

Mom's been just absorbing it all. She's had a lot of questions, like:

Mom: Why did Aithusa join Morgana? Me: We don't know. They never told us. 😒

Mom: (after The Dark Tower) How did Gwen turn evil? Me: Magic. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Mom: Oh, for gods sake! 🤦‍♀️

Mom: When do they find out about that bracelet Morgana gave Gwen to make her love Lancelot? Me: They don't. 😤 Mom: ...Are you kidding??

The deaths have been a little tougher this season, especially Elyan's. She liked the Dolma, but rolled her eyes a bit at Merlin trying to "act like a woman" instead of just getting on with curing Gwen. And she was NOT happy with Uther's ghost (who was??) or Gaius telling on Merlin and endangering Finna.

But god... watching Merlin's struggles, I just keep thinking, what was the point of it all?

There's so much back and forth the whole season, the whole series really, about destiny and duty and following your heart, and I just... what's the moral here? Follow destiny and get screwed? Follow your heart and still get screwed? It's good to know prophecies and Merlin just didn't know how to handle it? It's bad to know prophecies because you cause them to happen? If that was the case, why did Finna die to pass that last prophecy on? Also, you deserve to die, even when you haven't done anything wrong, because a prophecy says you will? You have choice? You never had one? Some will say the point is "the friends we made along the way", or there doesn't need to be a moral, but there's just no consistency, except whatever keeps the drama going.

It doesn't help that, except for the Camlann prophecy, we never actually hear any of the other prophecies everyone talks about. So we never know for sure if the problem was a misinterpretation of the prophecies in terms of what the Golden Age looked like, or if Merlin failed because of his choices, or if he was ALWAYS going to fail no matter what he did, or if he even failed at all! Because the dragon tells him he didn't in the end, but it doesn't make much sense.

Did the writers even know? They have admitted in interviews they were working nonstop on the show for five years, at grueling pace, so I forgive them for being fuzzy, but it seems like the show's moral code and prophecy lore really depended on who was writing the episode that week.

What I've always loved about Harry Potter is that while prophecies exist, the power of choice is emphasized. Prophecies can be, and often are, misinterpreted. Not every prophecy in the Department of Mysteries was ever fulfilled, so destiny is not the be-all end-all. It's made very clear that it's whether you act on prophecies or not that matters. The characters' beliefs and convictions still matter. It's consistent, it's clean, and it leaves the characters' agency.

In Merlin... you can interpret it a million different ways and still be wrong. And maybe part of the issue is that while Harry agrees to be the Chosen One since he already wanted Voldemort dead, Merlin's heart and destiny are so often divided. And that's what makes it so darn frustrating. And why I believe they gave Merlin too much of a burden for one person. No "almost" about it.

(We'll see if I revisit this after the finale)

[lacystar]

swag freaking ever. warrior cats your phantom thieves.

picrew is here. Morgana excluded bc it's funny. headcanons and names under the cut because. sure.

All cats are in shadowclan, except for akechi. ryuji: Yellowskull -(tentative. I wanted smth with lightning but lightningskull sounds dumb and I can't name him thunderskull bc that breaks naming rules) - a determined warrior. got in a squabble with a certain deputy from windclan when he was an apprentice that left him with a permanent limp and nasty scar on his leg. originally thought he would never fight or hunt again, but the support of his classmates and some intense physical therapy along with his fiery determination has helped him improve significantly. he can patrol and can hold his own in a fight!! - was originally contender for deputy, but his injury let makoto get that promotion instead, but he's chill with that because he knows she can handle it better than he ever would.

Ann: Pantherstep - originally Pantherpelt, but took on Shiho's (Smokestep) suffix in her honor when everyone was originally unsure if she'd pull through. - Even though Shiho can't leave camp, ann brings her things from her adventures outside and helps her with her physical therapy and does everything she can to cheer her up. she even learned a couple medicine cat basics to swoop in and help if need be. - descended from a couple generations of kittypets and still gets judged for it.

Joker: Nightstar (formerly Nightmask) (yes, mask is canonically a WC suffix) - born and raised as a rogue until late into apprentice age, got found by a clan elder (sojiro) and dragged by the scruff into camp for "trespassing" even though he had no idea where he was or what he was doing, and things sort of snowballed into him going from hostage to clan member, and now he's the leader.

Yusuke: Foxfrost - originally from riverclan, trained as a medicine cat apprentice before getting caught up in his mentor's evil plot. ended up getting help from joker and grew close to him as they navigated that whole ordeal. riverclan wasn't exactly stoked to get their inner corruption discovered by an outsider, and Yusuke got some flack for asking for help from him, and the accusations just sort of piled up and joker brought a sopping wet Yusuke home with him and now he's in shadowclan. - obviously shadowclan didn't need another med cat, so he gave that up and finds satisfaction in fighting beside his clanmates.

Makoto: Maplestrike - Joker's deputy - Has seen the fate of a deputy that lacks patience and faith in her sister and refuses to make the same mistake

Futaba: Sunsplash - Shadowclan's medicine cat - "why isn't Takemi-" shut up . she was prolly her mentor idk - following in her mother's footsteps of being a med cat. has been having visions from starclan since she was very young- most of which were painful and inflicted the horrors. - joker acts more as her advisor than she does his, but he doesn't mind that. she supports the clan well and theyre close. - man she's literally an oracle what do u want me to say

Haru: Blackfern - I always feel bad having to write shit for Haru in Aus or stories and not having anything to say because she's just kinda . there. :sob: - uhhhhhhh man idk maybe her dad was from riverclan or something idfk this post has turned into an unexpected project

Akechi: Crowstripe - deputy of thunderclan, double crossing his father and leader to assist Shadowclan in an attempted mutiny. but he plans to get the last laugh - I forgot what those fucking like meetings the clans met up at every moon things are called. but anyways ever since he was an apprentice and so was joker they've tussled at those to "Train" until they became warriors. seeing joker become a leader before him has been actual hell. - killed Futaba's mom. thats also just canon thats not the au but I felt like it needed to be restated.

[morgana-ren]

Hi Morgana :)) hope you're having a good day. So I stumbled upon this video and the discourse in the comments https://youtube.com/shorts/cbtSWTjXvZQ?si=8g19VZHJUNI-5niU

And quite frankly got curious as I didn't get to play much of an early access Astarion but I do remember how his attitude at the tiefling/goblin party seems a lil different from early access to launch as well as his noble to charlatan change. So I thought that I could ask the Lore Mommy do you think he was changed that much and or how these changes shifted your perspective on his character. Because personally I do view him as a decadent and somewhat hedonistic as Ascended and those traits do show in his Spawn persona as well.

So just curious about your thoughts on this:))

Okay, I ended up fucking rambling and getting off topic here. This is too long for comfort. I'm sorry I just ended up blabbing, I swear that wasn't the intention lmao. I ended up looking into the comments at aforementioned discourse and it just reminded me of shit, so please forgive me. I tend to r a m b l e with a fuckin capital R. I'm talking in a more general sense and not at anyone in particular, most especially not you, so please don't think that. It's just my observations at large. I love questions like this and I hope this doesn't make you roll your eyes.

So, I got the EA version of the game when it was still fairly early. It was Patch 2, if I recall. It was interesting watching the group develop and grow as the writers and developers decided some things fit more than others because sometimes the patches were so drastically different than the last. Wyll actually got an entire rewrite between the EA and the full release. All of the characters we had went through changes (except Karlach and Halsin because they weren't there but they were likely tweaked behind the scenes.) A lot of Astarion's concept was already written, but his character was absolutely tweaked. The art book and a lot of the released designs are very early. We had them as of patch 2 where he was drastically different. In the beginning, they very much were going more for the stereotypical 'evil' follower. You could play as a good character and he would still like you, but he was very much geared for more debauchery-based playthroughs. It's also important to note that we really didn't get to demo everything. We only got the first act, and some of the more shallow aspects of it.

The thing about Baldur's Gate 3 is it is written so well because no character is good or evil. They are rounded, genuine characters with stories and lives and opinions of their own. You can dislike them, but you have to acknowledge they aren't written to be banal stereotypes. Astarion was a bit more of an evil clusterfuck in EA, but even then, there was a deep pain inside of him, and he was using his callousness and lack of giving a shit as a defense. Even then you knew something was very wrong. He mentioned Cazador because you ran into the Gur hunter, and you knew he was kept as a spawn against his will and was tortureda and had a very dubious past, but a lot of the character development wasn't in the EA-- because they didn't originally intend for it to be there.

But that doesn't fully change his character like some of the comments and other videos and posts I see seem to suggest. It seems like a lot of people have an egregious misunderstanding of his arc-- especially on tiktok and youtube shorts where the audience is younger and more prone to projection and group-thinking, echo-chambery line of thought.

Here's the rundown from what I remember deducing with EA combined with my personal playthroughs now that the game has released:

Astarion was absolutely a shithead before he was taken and turned. We don't know about his childhood, mostly because he doesn't know or remember, but I can say with certainty that he didn't become a dickhead after Cazador. Being taken made him worse, but he absolutely was an asshole before he was taken. He probably wasn't the traumatized, terrified young man he is now, but he was probably a real shit-kicker. He was on the winding path to darkness and they make this clear.

(His childhood was not touched on in the EA at all. All you knew is magistrate, vampire, gur killed him, Cazador, slave, and his dickish, libertine attitude.)

He is a noble though. This much we knew. He is privileged. Elite. He took without caring and doled out where he saw fit. He was your stereotypical rich boy-- or that's the vibe he gives off. He doesn't give off 'I earned my way into power' like Gortash does. He gives off 'I was born into privilege and I'm making it everyone else's problem.' He's educated and very savvy with language in a way that those of higher education access learn to be. He is well spoken and snubs his nose at 'lessers' in a way you see the wealthy do so casually. He was likely living a life of luxury and emerging into his own life in an Elon Musk-esque sort of evil powergrab. He might've always been a pesky little troublemaker, but he very much has 'I'm rich and I don't care about you' vibes, even beneath all of the trauma. This did not develop from Cazador. This was preexisting.

He was young. He was impulsive and dumb. He never had a chance to emotionally mature. It's entirely possible that, had he been left alone, he might've blossomed into a better person. But do not be mistaken, he was a bad person. Honestly, it's more possible to me that he would have just become another corrupt patriar with the city in his coin purse. Either way, fate played him a different hand than the one his birth had decided on.

You are told that he is a magistrate back in the city, which is true. When you play his origin story, you get options relating to it and it's actually been referred to a lot since the EA. He absolutely was some form of up and rising politician seeking power. A man with high ideas of himself, libertine proclivities, a self-centered attitude, and very much not a good person. Probably not horrible or sadistic for fun to the degree he is now, but definitely spiraling that way with the path he was on. The seeds had been planted already before any of his trauma happened.

I assume he wasn't quite important enough that his death would cause an uproar, but probably an impudent little upstart with his eyes on high political power just getting his bearings in the political world with help from mommy and daddy. The kind of petty asshole who abuses any authority he gets and doesn't care who or what gets in his way because he has some shit to prove and a life to live, everyone else be damned. That kind of person. He had ideas and ambitions, and is probably very open to corruption from the get-go. The kind of politician that dies in the street and people go "Hmm. Shame." and move on because they weren't anything special or grand. Just another corrupt asshole getting what they deserved. Another rich daddy's boy brought to the knife by the populace.

He was mourned. Someone missed him. But it wasn't the people of Baldur's Gate. That's for sure. He was forgotten before he became a true problem. Killed and stemmed. Just. Another. Cruel politician. Just another bastard with a big head. Just another.

In short, he definitely made some enemies and had drawn the wrong sort of attention during his time as a magistrate. Being the peacocking, lovely, arrogant young man he is, I bet he'd managed to make more people unbelievably pissed off than any sort of admiration, which normally for the rich isn't a problem, but... when it is, it really is, as you can see.

Even in the EA, he is very open with you tells you that the Gur, likely unhappy with a recent ruling he made, jumped him and murdered him in the street and you can let him kill the hunter. Thing is, Gur are not a violent people. If they attacked him like that, he did something to warrant it. It had to have been pretty nasty for it to have that consequence. The main difference is in the EA (later, of course, but still) you can find out that it was not Cazador that sent the Gur hunter. In fact, it was someone different entirely. I think it was someone named Maiden Fel or something. I do not remember. They likely switched it up. It was not the Gur looking of their own volition originally, but neither was it Cazador. But the EA was also slightly disjointed and broken so it's hard to tell what was canon at the time.

Astarion, in his shitty early days, isn't shy about his slight racism. He seems to dislike everything that isn't human or elven. It's entirely possible he had racial/cultural biases against the Gur and ended up pulling a ruling that was extremely unfair. It would be fair for them to seek retaliation.

This is never officially elaborated on as far as I know, but I do honestly believe that Cazador was almost more coincidence than anything. He saw a young, beautiful boy and went "Hmm... useful." He smelled blood in the water and saw someone that wouldn't be missed and offered them eternal life, knowing this silver-haired young man would be foolish enough to grasp it. He probably reeked of privilege. He would take it with open arms and without asking why or what for because that is what he was used to. Privileged people do not ask. They take. Cazador knew this.

(The point of me running through his past is to point out that not everything can be blamed on his trauma. He was at least kind of a bastard before this ever happened. And both EA and release have the similar trauma background almost identically.)

As we know, Astarion died that night. In the street. In a puddle of his own blood. He was scraped off the cobblestone and thrown into the cemetary, where he emerged the next night to his new life-- to Cazador. He didn't die. Astarion the Magistrate died. But Astarion, the stuck up, pompous, selfish asshole very much did not. In fact, that very same noble was forced to swallow a taste of his own medicine-- and it was a bitter fucking pill.

It made him worse. Trauma doesn't always make you soft and sweet. Sometimes, trauma makes you hard and cruel and angry and spiteful. Sometimes it doesn't make you apologetic; it makes you venomous. It makes you a spitting cobra rather than a loyal, empathetic puppy.

(Notice all I say about projection) Honestly, for me, it's nice to see that representation. Because my trama did not make me kind. It made me hurt. And it made me angry. And it twisted my mind into ways of thinking that I do not like. And you almost never see that. You see a lot of people who are kind and soft and gentle, but you don't often see those of us that were ripped apart and never managed to sew back together right. We do not bend and break our back and twist our tongues for others. Sometimes we are hurtful and mean and things that people paint as evil. Sometimes you grow claws rather than thick skin. Sometimes you grow fangs rather than a bigger heart.

So, more in line with the actual question, they very much did change up his arc. He was meant to be much more manipulative and shitty. It was datamined in the original script, I believe. That much was confirmed way earlier in the early access. But more or less, they went 'Hey, maybe we shouldn't write such a vapid dumbass character because it doesn't fit with the theme of 'complexity' we're working with here. Maybe we should make him more rounded. Maybe we should make him a person.' His story had been mostly mapped, but his character hadn't quite yet. And I'm glad they did.

Having him be a vacuous, shitty stereotype would have been a massive disappointment, especially in a game that is so deep.

Here's the bit though:

It is a CONSTANT throughout the game, EA and release; Astarion very much is an asshole. He is throughout the entire game. He can get better, but he's a dick. No two ways around it. His trauma didn't make him terrible, he very much already was a selfish person who ended up getting stunted. He learned to lie and manipulate to survive, but he wasn't a sweet boy when this happened to him. He was a 'bad' person who had something horrible happen to him that opened up his body and made him defensive and cruel, because he believes the world is cruel and indifferent to suffering, which goes in line with his earlier pre-kidnap thinking of 'Who cares?' It made him bitter for sure, but he already had those ways of thinking. He didn't care who he hurt. He didn't care about anyone. That's the entire bit with 'libertines' and the elite. He was already bad; it made him worse.

He was a fucking jackass. But notice I don't say evil.

He is not a character that empathizes or sympathizes well. He doesn't care what others are going through unless you teach him to, and even then, he is still learning. He is capable of trying if you steer him there. But in general? He rejoices in cruelty, being a general nuisance, being selfish, being power hungry, and being self serving. These are not solely trauma traits. These are not all defense mechanisms, though they can be. Astarion is a rounded character that is complex but right now is not the stereotypical 'uwu sad baby' shit that people love to do to him either. They made him relatable. Gave him tragedy. And people love to latch on to that to paint us as these pathetic babies incapable of our own thoughts who need to be coddled and babied and defended.

From EA, they made him more rounded. They made him less cartoonishly gimmicky. He's still a very selfish jerkoff, but he is scared, and vulnerable, and they made a point to emphasize that. He is not just evil hot vampire. He is scared, vulnerable, rude, pompous, arrogant, selfish, terrified, traumatized, angry, subdued--

and the list goes on. He is a person. He is a relatable person. But these traits he respects in the beginning? Selfishness? Greed? Self-serving? These are traits he admired before that were amplified by his trauma. These are traits that we condemn as a human race, but we still hone and harbor. These are things we have and we see and we experience day to day.

And that is why it is so easy to judge him and condemn him and try to paint him in black or white and call him banal morality labels like 'good' or 'evil.' It's part of why we have these arguments over his EA versus now. Because you see these good/bad things and immediately need to justify your love or hatred for him and defend or condemn him because you hear them and go "No! Wrong! I know he's selfish but he's not evil and--" and all of those other posts we love. People struggle with nuance. That is why it is so easy for people to make these videos defending their views. They grab keywords and examples and go "See!" and show little tiny snippets instead of an entire person. Hell, we do it in real life too. We point out one facet of someone's life and judge and condemn them based upon it. With Astarion, we see so much more, but even then, people still struggle.

People have real experiences with these values. People have personal feelings and judgments based on those things. They feel a need to analyze it, but most people do not know how. They cannot say "No, I just don't like him" or "Yeah, I enjoy him" and leave it at that. Similar to how I'm ripping this open right now. And I'm not condemning anyone. Clearly I'm going on a tangent right now over it. It's fun to do. But people feel like it's necessary. Like they have to.

In those comments, someone points out that media literacy is dead, and I'm inclined to agree. Everything is black and white and must be tucked into neat little boxes that are easy for people to digest. A bad character is a bad mean evil irredeemable character. A good character is a good character that behaves good and does things we expect from good people. Humans are no longer humans. They are not complex. They are not nuanced. They are one dimensional creatures to be judged and executed. That is why people struggle so hard with games this well written. Because it is not that simple. It is not in real life and it is not in the game.

Also in the comments here, it seems like everyone is arguing over a nonissue. It seems to stem from the fact that there's a lot of discourse over liking a bad character. People feel like his newer design is 'justified' and even though he is 'a jerk,' he is not 'irredeemable.' The entire thing is asinine.

No one deserves redemption. That is the fucking point of redemption. That is the entire whole ass point. Someone who does not deserve it working to redeem themselves. If you deserve redemption, you don't need it. If you need it, you do not deserve it. People forget that.

I see this a lot. People demonizing others who enjoy complex or more nuanced characters that are not wholly good. People saying characters are irredeemable and terrible and if you like them, you're a bad person. If you like villains, you clearly relate and you're a bad person. If you like this person, you're just like them and must be condoning their actions.

It's so fucking stupid. I see it with books too. People jump on protagonists because they think the term 'protagonist' means hero, and people conflate the two. I could go on a whole (new) tangent about this, but the point is people are incapable of processing that now, because we've really muddied the waters with morality and we use shame rather than critical thinking. We operate off of gut instincts like 'disgust' and 'hatred' and instead of thinking about shit, we just shove it away and condemn, condemn, condemn.

A natural consequence of this is people jump like dogs to twist that character they love or hate into a victim or something beyond their actual story. They will jump through hoops. They will do whatever it takes to avoid the stigma of being a 'bad person' in the eyes of some internet tiktok teen with a billion followers or some tumblr mom because they have been raised to believe that makes them a bad person and they will deserve the ostrasizing they get. They will be bullied and driven from the internet and sent anons until they go into fucking hiding. It's not okay to just enjoy something anymore. You have to justify it to some asshole. You have to break it open and twist it and defend it or burn it. You can't just exist.

People project. And holy fuck, have they projected on Astarion. It's another natural consequence of having such an incredible, well written character. People see themselves in him. In fact, people see themselves in him so much that they inadvertently take away his agency again in an ironic twist because people with similar feelings or experiences feel like they 'get' him better and therefore have more say over a fictional character than the character himself, the person who wrote him and the man who brought him to life.

My point with all of this nonsensical and unrelated bullshit rambling is that I loved Astarion in the EA and I love him more now. I would have loved him if they left him 'evil' but kept him rounded. His ascended ending is him falling deeply into his worst instincts for control coupled with his entitlement and need for safety. His spawn ending is him relenting and accepting and trying to be better within reason. He will always be Astarion. But he can make efforts to be better-- or worse. But he is always Astarion, and Astarion is decadent, and a bit of a jerk, and a stuffy noble elite with standards. He will always be like that. He will always be Astarion. He probably does better there with someone to babysit like Tav, but even a single spawn Astarion made great strides and effort.

I think we take that for granted a lot. We get people all up in their feelings and lashing out at people who like one ending or the other. We have people calling other people horrible people for trusting Astarion in the end of his spawn ending instead of coddling him and taking his fuckin' free will away again. We have people throwing food like kids in a cafeteria and it feels like no one slows the fuck down and wonders why they feel that way.

I like Astarion because he's an incredible character. I like him more in the release because he's more developed. He feels real. He feels like me. (See, projection.) I get it. People are not always pure good or pure evil. These are words we made up because we're an idiot little species that needs to categorize, same as why we name shapes and traits. But I liked him evil too. I just liked him. He just interested me. I always liked him.

He feels better in the release. More fleshed out. Less foreboding and more understandable. He's not Viconia from BG2 who is basically just there to be an evil temptress for 'hehe evil' characters. But guess what? It's totally fine if you wanna engage with him that way! If you don't like him, or you don't want to bother with making him better, you don't have to. If that's all you want to do, then hell yeah, baby.

At the end of the day, he is a model we can use to dissect ourselves. He can help us understand how we view complex issues. But it gets frustrating when people highjack it with an absolutely egregious misunderstanding of the story. Like things are so simple, you know?

In the EA, he was cool. He was really cool. But we didn't know much about him other than 'hehe evil.' We didn't know much about anything, and man, did we like to theorize. I can remember doing it years and years ago before the fuckin' game came out. But ultimately, it was always a projection of ourselves. What we wanted. What we saw.

They made him a more fleshed out being. They filled in the blanks. He is an arrogant fucking asshole, and he is rude, and entitled, and pompous, and cruel, and self serving and greedy and all of that 'evil' shit, but he is also human. He is capable of deep and profound love. He is capable of caring. He is capable of so much. He can be selfless and loving and caring and gentle. He can be genuine and honest. These traits do not define him unless he chooses to cling to them-- and he only does if he does not learn. And when he doesn't learn? He loses himself and fills his destiny of being the wretched, terrible perpetuator of abuse both on the populace and you. And that was the point. That happens when you lose yourself and give in to fear. It can happen to all of us. And sometimes it does.

But it really also isn't that deep, in the same breath. If you like the ascended ending which is a bit more in line with his original origins, so what? It's a cool ending. It's neato. It still has a clear and blatant message, but it's a fucking video game. Do what you like. If you think it's hot? So what? If you just enjoy the goddamned doomed narrative? So?

Not everything has to be a trial of who you are as a person. Not everything is that deep. Sometimes the answer is as simple as 'shit is cool' and it ends there. If other people look deeper into it, that sounds like a 'them' problem. That's their need to justify. That's their desire. Both EA and release are fantastic. Some folks have preferences. I liked both.

He's my boy. I love him for who he is and what he has done for me. And I'm grateful I got to see his development. I'm grateful I get a well written story with incredible characters. If people think he's wholly evil or good, that's their sack of beans, my dude.

[skelegun]

Warning: really long meandering post about the Persona series. Also spoilers.

So I’ve been playing a shitload of Atlas games the last like month or two for some reason, and I just recently beat both Persona 5 Royal, and Persona 3 Reload: Episode Aegis. Kinda general spoilers ahead, but it’s really interesting the similarities and differences between the two, when I say P5R I specifically mean the new semester that was added for Royal.

So like they are both continuation of their main game’s story, and they both are about how we deal with grief. This is a logical choice of subject matter for P3 because that game was all about themes of death and loss. For Persona 5 it feels like a weird direction to take the story since that game was more about themes of rebellion and injustice.

Say what you will about Episode Aigis/The Answer, whatever you want to call it, atleast what sparse story content there was tonally consistent with its parent game. In it you play as the android Aegis who developed emotions just in time for her first love to die in her arms. Understandably she is plagued with emotions she can’t understand and in her grief she finds herself trapped in The Abyss of Time.

In Dr.Maruki’s wild ride in P5R, Joker wakes up on New Years Day and discovers that a bunch of a formally dead people are alive again and Morgana is now a human, upon investigating it turns out that when they shot God in the face it some how made Dr.Maruki the new God but he’s more like Bruce Almighty in that he can grant wishes and shit but he’s not omnipotent. Goro Akechi, who isn’t dead anymore contacts you and is like “we need to stop Dr.Maruki because he’s just making people happy by giving them what they want, that’s cheating!” Unlike Aegis though, Joker is just blank slate protagonist so the best arguement Dr.Maruki can give to Joker is that if you stop him Goro Akechi will die again… But Goro Akechi is a deranged sociopathic murderer who flat out tells you he cares more about stopping Dr.Maruki than living.

What about the other party members? In Episode Aegis your party gets fractured by the question of whether they should live in the present or go to back and try to change the past. Ultimately you come to blows over this decision and the team ends up learning that Makoto sacrificed himself for a reason and trying to go back and change that would be folly, so together they decide to honor his legacy.

In P5R everyone except Joker (and I guess Akechi’s) get’s their wishes granted, which mostly takes the form of a dead loved one being brought back to life, and these aren’t like secretly evil Pet Sematary versions or someshit, Dr. Maruki altered the timeline so that they just never died. So you just kinda like walk up to people and do like a friendlier version of the FFTA “it’s escapism” bit, and then like entirely off screen (except Morgana) they all just sort of say “huh I guess he’s right” with like zero resistance. They missed a great opportunity to have some drama and division in the party. We don’t even get to see a scene where anyone of these characters say goodbye to their revived loved ones or anything, they just sorta killed them off screen.

Then when you confront Dr.Maruki about why what he’s doing is evil it’s like kinda just dumb arguments about how he’s robbing people of their agency or whatever which like in a normal scenario is true but the whole idea of the Phantom Thieves is that they go into people’s minds and rob them of their agency so it’s just like whatever.

This is an aside but honestly the Dr.Maruki shit makes little sense mechanically, his powers have like “Jojo final boss Stand” vibes where it’s basically just he can do whatever he wants but somehow he still loses to a bunch of teenagers with punch ghosts.

Persona 5 was my first Persona game and I played it back 2017, and I remember really liking it back then. After replaying it for the first time with all the new content Royal added in, I’m surprised how much I hated the writing. The only mainline persona game I haven’t played is the first one, and while I will say 5/R has the best gameplay and dungeons, it also has the worst writing and least interesting characters.

I do also want to say though that Episode Aegis sucks to play. What little story there is in the experience is all at the beginning and end. Everything in between is a grueling slog of clearing out floor after floor of boring dungeons, and recycled boss fight after recycled boss after, with a few extremely short flashback sequences peppered in.

Oh also the icing on the cake is that at the end of Royal it basically loops back in time to a slightly modified version of the original ending of the vanilla game, and in the canonical sequel, Persona 5 Strikers, none of the new shit from Royal is ever mentioned. So it basically doesn’t matter.

I’m currently play Soul Hackers 2. It’s fun. It’s not a masterpiece, but i like the story and characters so far.

[crithaus]

Like imagine that a magical being you've never met is creating downfalls for you that might have never come to pass without him literally spinning it into existence while you have magical night terrors that become true mainly about your brother dying except you don't know its your brother cuz your quote unquote guardian, who is your dad actually, killed your adopted dad, regularly abuses you and your brother and kills people just like you for the mere accusation of being like you and Imagine your faithful old doctor knows about you and your father and your powers and refuses to help you even though your life is in danger or even tell you at all that you arent crazy and after all of that

Imagine your friend the one man who knows exactly what you're going through and could be a shoulder to cry on in trying times, doesn't help at all which tbh is a choice anyone might make in the circumstance but then he turns around and demonizes you for latching onto the only person who actually reaches out to you without any real explanation and then he force feeds you poison. Also imagine your girlfriend gets turned away from you because no one tells you anything and then gets mad that you lash out because no one tells you anything

Like i mainly blame gaius and kilgarrah because as the rat faced adults they should stop being so pussyshit about everything but like...merlin honey angel butter biscuit if you'd just reached out to her this could have been avoided, morgana wasn't even evil in the first iterations of the story this is some poorly written bullshit

the thing about morgana is like. you would literally be crazy too in that situation

[send-noodles-not-nudes]

The funny thing about rewatching Merlin is that I can't remember when or how Morgana turned evil, just that she does

And this episode (where Gwen's dad is killed for no good reason and Morgana snaps and rightfully calls Uther out for being a selfish tyrant asshole) seems like what WOULD turn her evil except that it feels too soon

[legends-of-time]

Waking the Sorceress Within (BBC Merlin Story)

Chapter 54: A Herald of the New Age

Masterlist

Amelia's POV

Arthur, Merlin and the Knights return from a patrol, so Amelia makes her way down to the Armoury to greet them. She passes Arthur on her way and the two of them share a tense but awkward look as they pass each other by. Amelia and Arthur haven't talked except when they have to – and even then, it is short sentences – ever since Arthur banished Gwen.

Percival had argued that because of what happened with Gwen, they should delay their wedding further. For her fiancé, it's mostly because he doesn't want to hurt Arthur with the reminder of his failed wedding so soon afterwards. Amelia had agreed for the reason that she just isn't in the mood currently because of the loss of Gwen.

She enters just as Gwaine tosses Merlin a small bag.

"What's that?" Merlin asks as Amelia walks up to Percival to kiss him.

"Salt. Pour it in a circle at the foot of your bed, helps to protect you from evil spirits." Gwaine explains, deadpan. Amelia frowns. Eh?

"Really? Does that work?"

"Absolutely. And if it doesn't, Gaius can always put it on his supper." Gwaine jokes.

"Very funny." Merlin remarks before walking out of the room. He gives Amelia a nod as he leaves.

"What's going on?" Amelia questions.

Leon shrugs. "Merlin's just being superstitious." He dismisses.

"Why?"

"We found an Old Religion shrine by the Druids. Merlin warned us it was cursed." Percival explains, giving Amelia a knowing look.

A shrine? Amelia remembers Morgause teaching her and Morgana about them. The Druids built shrines to bring rest to tormented souls as they were so badly wronged that they could not find peace in the other world. The ancient rituals were done to heal the ground to try and bring the souls of the victims to rest, but the magic that binds the earth is delicate and is easily undone. Anyone who disturbs a resting place risks releasing the spirit.

Gwaine scoffs. "More like Merlin is getting scared of Gaius' bedtime stories."

"It was strange though." Leon admits.

"What do you mean?" Amelia asks.

"Just to have one so close to Camelot."

Indeed. Amelia doesn't quite understand why her body has been overcome with this chill. There's something in her mind, nagging at forgotten memories as if to try and tell her why this shrine is so important. Her mind suddenly snaps back to an old and forgotten memory.

Amelia has ridden off quite far when she suddenly hears screaming in the distance and the clashing of swords. She knows Arthur was leading his first mission and is worried that he is in some sort of trouble, so Amelia quickly climbs off her horse and rushes towards the noise, a bit stupid she knows, with her dagger in hand.

Though when Amelia arrives, she wishes she hadn't. It appears to be a camp in disarray with everything strewn everywhere. People are running and screaming from men with the Camelot symbol on their clothing. Bodies are also strewn everywhere as well.

As Amelia turns looking at the terror around her, she notices Arthur standing not too far off from her with a horrified look on his face, her own face likely mirroring his own, as he looks from what is happening in front of her.

"I-I don't... I tri—" Arthur stutters. "I tried to! B-but they w-would not listen!" He looks close to tears.

"You have to tell them, Arthur! They are hurting children!" Amelia urges.

"I-I don't know h-how!" Arthur tearfully tells her.

Amelia can't stay here anymore so she looks away from Arthur, shaking her head, and flees back to her horse.

Oh. She had forgotten about that day. Her head injury had knocked it out of her. Literally. Her eyes well as she remembers the utter distraction that had been laid before her with a young Arthur frozen in place as his own men lay waste.

She is so frozen in place and lost in her mind that she doesn't hear Percival calling her name until he shakes her shoulder.

"Amelia?!"

Amelia shakes her head and turns to Percival, placing a false smile on her face. "Yes?"

Percival squeezes her shoulder. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes, yes of course." Percival frowns at her doubtfully and she can see Leon and Gwaine doing the same. "Really, everything's fine." Amelia insists.

Percival reluctantly nods and doesn't protest as Amelia quickly leaves the room.

Amelia notices that throughout the conversation, Elyan hadn't spoken a word. Amelia pities him. Like her, he hasn't been quite the same since Gwen's banishment himself.

——

The Knights and the Tavern folk are cheering over an arm wrestling match between Percival and Sir Brennis.

Amelia stands quietly in the middle of it, only smiling when those around her, like Percival, Leon and Gwaine, look at her. Her mind is too caught up in old memories.

Those screams from so long ago echoing in her mind. Could the shrine be the same place where that attack had taken place so long ago? That hadn't happened too far from Camelot, so it could be.

Amelia is startled out of her thoughts when she hears a crack. Percival has actually broken Sir Brennis' wrist. Amelia smirks spitefully to herself as she thinks of how annoyed Arthur will be since he's planned a training session tomorrow morning.

Amelia turns to Leon who's been cheering and applauding Percival. "Where's Elyan?"

Leon shrugs. "Said he wanted an early night. He's still not over what happened with Gwen."

He turns from her and Amelia's face drops into a frown. His blaséness about Gwen being banished, about a lot of the Knights' blaséness, has been really upsetting her. She can't understand why everyone, even Merlin, Anne and Gaius at times, has seemingly forgotten Gwen. Except for Amelia and Elyan.

——

Amelia doesn't sleep well that night as she is overcome with this strange chill. It's almost like she can sense a presence in the Castle.

Gaius gets called to Elyan's Chambers later that morning and Amelia follows after him, trying to keep her mind off things. When they arrive, Elyan is lying on his bed with eyes wide and staring. He doesn't react to those in the room.

"He was acting strangely at training." Leon begins to explain, he and Gwaine stand in front of Amelia and Gaius as they explain what happened.

"What do you mean?" Gaius questions.

"Arthur switched things up in training. Elyan went at Merlin a bit too hard."

Amelia rolls her eyes, of course, this is partly Arthur's fault. "Is that why I saw Anne and Sir Geraint carrying an exhausted Merlin to his Chambers?"

Gwaine and Leon look guilty.

"That behaviour is out of character for Elyan, that's for sure." Gaius says, bringing the conversation back to the patient.

"Then he started panicking when we got to the Armoury." Leon adds.

Amelia sees the beginning of a bruise as she leans over Elyan, who doesn't react to her presence. She turns to them with a raised eyebrow. "And which idiot thought it was a good idea to punch him?"

Leon looks at Gwaine. Amelia turns her pointed look to Gwaine.

Gwaine shrugs. "He kept struggling, yelling at nothing."

Gaius sighs, he turns to examine Elyan, sitting on the bed next to him.

"Why doesn't he speak?" Leon wonders.

"I don't know." Gaius admits. "It's strange."

"It's like he's lost his mind." Gwaine blurts out.

Amelia looks at Gwaine, exasperated. "Thanks, Gwaine, but I think we'd all prefer to listen to Gaius' medical opinion over yours."

Leon looks at Gwaine and shakes his head.

Gaius stands. "Perhaps you'd leave us alone to treat our patient."

They start to head out, but Gwaine pauses and turns to them. "It would be better if Arthur didn't know of this."

Amelia is surprised. Not that she wants to talk to Arthur anyway, but why keep this a secret?

Gaius is also confused. "Why do you want to keep it from Arthur?"

Gwaine hesitates before replying, "Elyan hasn't been himself recently. He hasn't said anything, but he's clearly upset about his sister's banishment."

Amelia narrows her eyes. Of course, he's upset, why wouldn't he be?

"Yes, it must've been hard for him to see that happen to Gwen." Gaius responds, glancing back at the almost comatose Elyan.

"We wouldn't want Arthur to think that Elyan's loyalties are divided." Leon adds.

Good point, wouldn't be good for Elyan. Amelia and Gaius share a look and she can see he agrees with her.

"Well, I'm sure the King doesn't have to know about every accident that happens in Camelot." Amelia concedes.

Gwaine smiles slightly, reaching over to squeeze her forearm briefly to show his gratitude. "Thank you, Amelia, Gaius."

"Thank you." Leon reverberates before they both leave.

Amelia places a hand on Elyan's shoulder. "Elyan? Elyan, it's Amelia, can you hear me?" Elyan doesn't move. "Blink if you can hear me." There's still no movement from him.

Gaius sighs. "Doesn't seem like he'll respond." Gaius reaches down to pick up his medicine bag, the top drops to the floor and as he bends to pick it up, Amelia can see that Gaius spots something.

"What is it?" Amelia asks.

Gaius doesn't reply and simply crouches down, pushing back the duvet. Amelia crouches next to him and sees what it is. It's the circle of what could be salt.

Gaius touches it, smells it, and tastes it. Amelia grimaces as she watches Gaius taste it.

"Interesting." Gaius murmurs.

"What are you thinking Gaius?" Amelia wonders.

——

Amelia and Gaius are discussing their concerns with Anne in the Physician's Chambers with a book open in front of them when Merlin angrily storms in. Percival is with the other Knights; Amelia had declined joining them.

"I'm done! Trying to be nice to Arthur. I cook, I clean, I'm always there for him." Merlin rants. "Not to mention that small matter of saving his life more times than I care to remember. Do I get any thanks? No. All he ever does is shout at me."

Anne frowns at her husband in concern and gets up to rub his shoulder. Amelia notes the slight waddle in her walk now.

Amelia rolls her eyes in response to Merlin's words. "Well, what do you expect from His gracious Majesty?"

Gaius closes his book. "I fear we may have more important things to worry about than Arthur shouting at you."

"What is it?" Merlin asks, sitting down next to his wife, smiling softly at her.

"Do you know if Elyan disturbed anything yesterday at the shrine?" Amelia asks. She hears her voice catch at the end of her sentence and sees Anne look at her in concern.

Merlin shrugs. "I'm not sure."

Anne sighs. "You need to be sure, Merlin."

"I don't know. He may have done. I tried to warn them. You know what they're like. They don't listen." Merlin retorts exasperatingly.

"I'm sorry, Merlin." Gaius concedes. "It's just that I'm deeply concerned for Elyan. He hasn't spoken a word since he regained consciousness and Amelia and I could find no physical symptoms to explain it. The only thing we could find was a pile of salt at the foot of his bed."

Merlin's face drops. "Oh, no."

Anne frowns. "Merlin?"

"He's trying to ward off an evil spirit." Merlin replies softly.

The other three share an incredulous look.

"With a pile of salt? That's utter nonsense." Gaius scoffs.

"Elyan believes it to be true." Merlin argues.

Amelia sighs shakily. "Then Elyan may have disturbed the spirit at the shrine."

"What? What will that do to him?" Merlin questions, worriedly.

"I dread to think what horror it might unleash. You must tell Arthur what happened at the shrine. You must tell him that Elyan is possessed." Gaius urges.

"Well, I'm not sure he'll believe me, not in the mood he's in." Merlin says.

"What else can we do?" Amelia retorts.

——

Merlin leaves to tell Arthur Elyan is possessed. Amelia returns to her room and it's not long before she hears commotion in the corridor. She opens her door as Sir Brennis and Gregory turn the corner.

Amelia steps out and approaches them, she notes that she can see other Knights and Guards flittering about. "Sir Brennis, Sir Gregory, what is going on?"

The two Knights glance at each other awkwardly before Sir Brennis sighs and turns to her. "It's Sir Elyan, he attacked the King."

Amelia's eyes widen in shock. "Elyan, attack the King? That can't be right."

Sir Gregory shrugs. "Well, he's been off since his sister was banished, maybe it was only a matter of time."

Amelia glares at the Knight who quickly realises his mistake and avoids looking at her. Sir Brennis shakes his head at him.

"You better find him then." Amelia says calmly.

The two Knights nod and run off. Amelia frowns once they're gone. She knows Elyan is upset about Gwen's banishment, as Amelia is, but he never held any against Arthur, unlike Amelia. Could this be the work of the spirit?

——

Elyan is found that night and is thrown into the Cells. Amelia stands in the Council Chambers the next day as Agravaine advocates for the Knight's death. Amelia stands just behind him and spends most of the time glaring at his head.

"Elyan must be tried and punished in accordance with our laws." Agravaine argues.

"But that would mean putting him to death." Arthur counters.

"Well, so be it. You can't afford to show favouritism."

"What if Elyan wasn't acting of his own volition?" Amelia tears her eyes away from Agravaine and looks at Arthur in surprise. Is he actually listening for once?

"What do you mean?"

"Merlin believes that Elyan has been possessed by some kind of spirit." Arthur explains.

"And I agree with him." Amelia says, coming to stand next to Merlin.

"Oh. I have no doubt they're just trying to protect their friend." Agravaine remarks patronisingly.

Amelia glares at her uncle. "Unlike you Agravaine, Merlin has often been proved right. Why else would Elyan attack Arthur?"

"His motive is obvious. He seeks revenge." Agravaine retorts, turning to Arthur. "You banished his sister from Camelot."

"We know Elyan, and no matter what he feels about his sister, he would never attack Arthur." Merlin rebuffs.

"Arthur, you must see. All this talk of possession and spirits, it's just a ruse to save Elyan's neck." Amelia is very close to strangling Agravaine's neck.

"But what if it is true? I'd be executing an innocent man. More than that, I'd be executing a friend." Arthur argues. Is Arthur actually redeeming himself here? The next stop will be unbanishing Gwen, but she doubts he'll do that.

"You cannot be seen to allow someone to try and kill you and then escape punishment. You will appear weak. That puts the whole of Camelot in peril."

"Arthur..." Merlin prompts.

Arthur turns to them. "Leave me."

Amelia clenches her fist, disappointed and irritated that Arthur is taking Agravaine's side again.

"All of you."

Amelia smirks at Agravaine's slightly bewildered face as she follows Merlin out with Agravaine not far behind. Small victories.

——

Amelia and Merlin join Anne, Percival and Gaius in the latter's Chambers. They have filled in Percival with what's been happening.

"Agravaine is just pushing for Elyan's execution." Merlin says, pacing.

"I would not be shocked if Arthur listens to him, he mostly does." Amelia snidely comments.

"Arthur may have no choice but to sentence Elyan to death." Percival points out.

"We can't allow that to happen." Anne argues.

"What do you propose we do?" Gaius questions.

There must be a way of ridding Elyan of the spirit that possesses him." Merlin persists.

"But that would require very powerful magic." Amelia points out.

"I must master it to save Elyan's life."

"Right then." Amelia declares. "Once we get that done, we just need to break Elyan out of the Dungeons." She shrugs. "Easy enough."

Percival blinks at Amelia in surprise. "You're... joking, yes?" Amelia turns to the rest of them. "About how easy it is to break out of the Dungeons?"

Gaius, Amelia, Merlin and Anne just share a smile and start to laugh as Percival sighs.

——

Merlin heads off that night to break Elyan out of the Cells but when he returns with a wound on his forehead, he explains that it went wrong. Elyan hadn't taken the bait and had knocked Merlin out. The Knight was gone when Merlin had awoken.

Gaius treats Merlin's head wound. Anne flitters worriedly around him, clutching her round stomach.

"Just before he jumped me, there was a presence there. I could sense it." Merlin explains.

"It was Elyan who was supposed to be knocked out, not you, Merlin." Amelia remarks with a slight grin.

Gaius stops treating him and Merlin quickly begins heading for the door. "I must find Arthur. Elyan could make another attempt on his life."

"After Elyan's escape, Arthur was put under heavy guard. There's little more you can do to protect him." Percival says, stopping him.

"This shrine... do you think you could find it again?" Gaius wonders, looking at Merlin and Percival.

Amelia feels the colour drain from her face.

"I'm not sure I want to." Merlin admits. "You said I was never to go there again."

"We have to find out all we can about this spirit." Gaius argues. "Unless we know what we're dealing with, we won't be able to help Elyan or Arthur."

Amelia isn't happy about this. What if it's the camp she worries it is?

——

Amelia feels sick as they approach the camp, once they reach the edge and can see the hanging fabrics in the trees.

Merlin and Percival are leading Amelia and Gaius to the shrine. Suddenly, Merlin stops.

"Merlin?" Gaius questions.

"It's just through these trees." Merlin says, nodding ahead.

They enter the shrine. Amelia feels like her heart is in her throat. The camp is exactly like how she remembers it. This camp is the one Arthur attacked all those years ago. Amelia feels the tears well up in her eyes as a slight breeze picks up causing the fabrics to hauntingly flitter.

"What are we looking for?" Percival questions.

"I'm not entirely sure. But remember, don't disturb anything." Gaius replies.

"Trust me, I won't." Merlin remarks. Percival echoes him.

Amelia nods silently, unable to bring herself to speak.

They split up to look around. Amelia stays still, frozen in place as she watches the cloth waving eerily in the wind. Voices whisper in the wind and Amelia swallows down a sob.

The sound of a crunch of wood startles Amelia out of state and she turns sharply as Percival and Merlin do.

Gaius is standing over a broken branch. He brings his hand up apologetically. "Sorry!" He whispers. Amelia sighs in relief and begins moving through the camp.

It's then that Amelia hears what sounds like crying as well as whispers coming through a gap in the rocks. She walks through to find a well filled with water sitting amongst the moss and rocks. She looks into it and wishes she hadn't as the wailing voices and shouting get louder and louder. She remembers the children running and screaming as the Pendragon symbol overruns the camp. Amelia is finally able to pull away but realises she has begun to properly cry.

"Percival! Merlin! Gaius!" Amelia steps back and holds her head, drying her eyes but that doesn't help as the tears continue to fall.

"What is it, Amelia?" Gaius questions as he, Percival and Merlin approach.

"It was awful. It was awful. People were dying and- and—" Amelia tries to speak but she can't. Percival presses a kiss to her forehead.

"Something terrible happened here." Merlin finishes.

Percival pulls Amelia from the well with his arm wrapped tightly around her.

Gaius studies the well. "These runes are in the Druid tongue. I also found this." Gaius holds up an arrow. "There are crossbow bolts scattered all around."

"This was Uther's doing, wasn't it?" Merlin says rhetorically.

"It must be revenge for Uther's crime that the spirit seeks." Percival concludes.

Amelia can't bring herself to tell them how wrong they are.

——

When they return, Amelia retreats to her room to rest and just hide away from the world. But she emerges when she hears news that Elyan had attacked Arthur as a meeting had been called.

Amelia knows she looks terrible when she enters the Throne room, the red eyes and tear tracks on her cheeks don't help, but it's confirmed by the concerned looks Percival, Merlin, Anne and Gaius are sending her. When she had entreated the room where everyone was waiting, Arthur had tried to step forward to comfort her, but Amelia had taken a step back causing him to stop. Arthur looks hurt when Amelia then accepts Percival's comfort. For once, Amelia is glad to see Agravaine appear.

"The palace is secure. No one is able to get in or out, and we're searching the Lower Town even as I speak." Agravaine reports. "Fear not, My Lord, Elyan will be hunted down and slain. I'll see to it personally." Amelia grits her teeth, now she's less glad.

"Thank you, Uncle."

Agravaine nods and exits. Arthur turns secretively to Percival, Amelia, Anne, Gaius and Merlin.

"You know that isn't Elyan or you wouldn't have let him go." Merlin states.

Arthur nods, agreeing. "When Elyan spoke to me, it wasn't with his voice. It was the voice of a boy, a child."

"That must be the voice of the spirit that now possesses him." Percival theorises.

Arthur turns to the Physician. "What do you know about the shrine, Gaius?"

"I believe the site was once a Druid camp." Amelia glances at Arthur at those words but Arthur remains blank faced. "There is evidence that the camp was attacked. Your father was relentless in his persecution of the Druids. Many died. I believe it is one of those tormented souls that now possesses Elyan."

"And that's why he seeks his revenge." Arthur finishes, turning away. Amelia gives Arthur an angry look. Isn't he going to admit it?

"The spirit craves peace." Gaius explains further. "He wishes to find his proper place in the other world, but the unjust nature of his death has denied him that."

"Is there anything that can be done to change this?" Arthur asks, turning to them.

"In Druid lore, only the atonement of the perpetrator can bring the spirit peace."

"But Uther's dead. He can't atone for what he did." Anne points out. Amelia simply continues looking at Arthur.

"Indeed."

"What about Elyan?" Arthur asks.

"Elyan is no longer the man you knew. The spirit has a hold on him that may be too powerful to break. All we can hope is that he'll be found before he has a chance to enact his revenge." Gaius replies.

"And if we do find him?"

"Then I fear you have no choice... but to kill him."

——

"Arthur... apologised, for attacking the Druid camp?" Amelia repeats slowly. She hadn't thought he would confess to it or even go to apologise to the spirit.

Merlin nods. Amelia had joined Anne for her check up with Gaius – she's close to term now so Gaius wants to keep an extra eye on her and the baby – as Merlin hadn't turned up since last night.

Suddenly, Merlin burst in with Arthur and carrying an unconscious Elyan. Arthur soon made his escape after he tells Gaius that Elyan needs to be treated and left Merlin to explain.

Anne beams. "Well, that's great, isn't it? Arthur's one step closer to accepting magic!"

Amelia doubts that. "Let's not jump ahead of ourselves, this is still Arthur brought up by Uther and while he still listens to Agravaine, who knows?"

"You were brought up by Uther and you're not full of hatred for magic." Merlin says.

Amelia decides not to mention the whole other life part. "No, but I was completely terrified when I learnt I had magic, fearful I would be corrupt."

Gaius looks up from where he'd been checking over Elyan. "What's important is that Elyan is freed and is going to make a full recovery and the boy is at peace."

And Gwen is still banished. Arthur probably wants them to play happy families now. Yeah right.

——

A/N: Please leave comments on how you're enjoying this story and what you think.

[wikipedie]

The way Merlin is a tragedy disguised as a comedy

[thatgaywizardoverthere]

Arthur: I just have a special sense when it comes to tracking magic

Morgana: Is it a gaydar?

Uther: Is it broken?

[samglyph]

Morgana and Gwen had infinitely more chemistry than Arthur and Gwen send tweet

[rorykillmore]

ive been so slow in getting through season 3 of merlin (im just starting to near the end now) because it’s ALWAYS been my least favorite of the 5 and you know what. i think i pinned down why. morgana’s arc sucks.