#(go commit some crimes)
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“small town in ma” and its fucking LEXINGTON. THE POPULATION IS 33,000 WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU SAYING
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My Cabinet of Tiger Ministers is in shambles.
#fallen london#tiger ministers#The continent full of intelligent tigers lets me go hang out with some of their most influential politicians. On the regular.#Mind you I have to call in a lot of favours and host tea parties a lot to earn the right to do so.#We have:#Tiger you get high with (sell the horrible visions you have from the too strong weed to trade with rats)#Tiger who is so deep in secrets even their gender is redacted. We have tea sometimes.#Tiger who is responsible for managing the military who rather enjoy the peace and quiet.#And a tiger who probably thinks coffee and cigs are a balanced meal. You have until she finished her 3rd cigar to ask your questions.#I wish I understood the lore to know more than that. I am oblivious to any crimes they have committed.#This is far less funny than I had hoped it would be but I'm posting it anyways.#This one is for the tigers fans. Not the the comic this time. The other tigers fans.
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saw this version of the meme and thought of them immediately
#this is so stupid. but it's funny to me at least#i miss these guys so much does anyone wanna go commit crimes against some nickelodeon executives with me#for legal reasons that was a joke#my art#glitch techs#glitch techs fanart#miko kubota#miko glitch techs#five glitch techs#i dont know their character tags lol this is my first time posting gt fanart#i’m trying my best
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14 for obikin pretty please?
here you go!
[from this list of prompts]
[5. 'are you jealous' - 27. 'i'm pregnant' - 32. 'i think i'm in love with you and i'm terrified' (LATEST) 44. 'if you die, i'm gonna kill you' - 41. 'you did all of this for me?' - 46. 'hey, have you seen...? oh']
14. 'hey, i'm with you, okay? always.'
The first time Anakin visits, he's so angry that he cannot speak for the first two hours. Obi-Wan sits against the wall of his cell, on the floor even though the Jedi have provided him a perfectly comfortable bed and chair. The Force collar around his neck looks wrong. His master sitting on the floor, dressed in the dull orange of a prisoner's jumpsuit looks wrong.
Anakin is so angry that he can't speak. He can only look and tremble until he is told he must leave.
Obi-Wan does not speak either. He does not even look at him.
Maybe that's what makes his anger harder to bear. Anakin knows that Obi-Wan has met with countless other Jedi. Visitors, friends, allies, people who are working with him on his defense case. He knows that the other man talks to them, has sliced into security holo footage to see it for himself, though no one will tell him what is said. Everyone always leaves looking frustrated, but at least Obi-Wan talks to them.
But not Anakin. Even though it is Anakin that Obi-Wan has hurt the most. Anakin, who deserves to know why from Obi-Wan's mouth.
After all--
"He was like a father to me," Anakin spits at him on his second visit, only a few days later. Going to see Obi-Wan in the Coruscanti prison cell where he is awaiting trial is like an itch. Scratched once, Anakin finds he cannot help himself from digging his claws in.
Obi-Wan is still against the wall. His beard has grown slightly longer. His head is tilted back against the wall, though when Anakin speaks, his eyes slide down from the ceiling to rest on him.
"I'm starting to think you say that to all the boys," his former master who is a murderer says in that lilting familiar drawl.
"You killed him."
"Yes," Obi-Wan agrees, because apparently part of his defense case is not to plead not guilty to the murder of the Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. Anakin would say that may be problematic, but then--there are security holos, soundless and slightly blurred, of the event. Of Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi taking tea with Chancellor Palpatine. Talking in civil gestures for thirty minutes. Requesting, as far as anyone can tell, for the Chancellor to fetch him a pot of sugar. Lighting his saber and beheading him the moment the old man's back was turned. "Yes, I did."
"Why?" Anakin yells, voice cracking on the word. He doesn't understand. He thinks the not-knowing will drive him to madness. He thinks maybe it already has. It has been two weeks since the Chancellor's murder. Half the Senate is seeking Obi-Wan's execution.
The war, theoretically, has paused, like even the Separatists are holding their breath. Waiting. Wondering.
Obi-Wan looks at him quietly for a moment. For five. His face is stoic, resolved. Beloved, even after this.
Then--for a singular second--the mask cracks, and his master stares at him as if he needs to see him in order to survive. He looks hungry and exhausted and relieved, down to the bones.
"How have your nightmares been lately, padawan?" he asks him, and Anakin is so disgusted by the word--by the title that Obi-Wan doesn't get to say after killing the Chancellor, killing Anakin's friend--that he turns and leaves without another thought.
He is back a day later. He has never known how to keep his distance from things that can hurt him, that's what his mother always said. Too curious by half. Too sure of his own invincibility. That's what his master always said.
Anakin isn't sure of anything anymore.
"Why did you kill him?" Anakin asks. Obi-Wan's beard is longer. He is still on the floor. It rankles, the sight of him brought so low. "Did someone tell you to?"
Obi-Wan lets his head fall forward, a puppet with its strings cut. "Do you think me so biddable, Anakin?"
Anakin today. Not padawan. As if Obi-Wan has learned his lesson. As if he is as desperate for Anakin to linger in his presence as Anakin is hopelessly addicted to returning.
Padmé had tried to stop him this morning. Had tried to tell him it would do no good to see him, that the justice system would do its work, that Anakin was only hurting himself by returning over and over again. She pointed out that he had nightmares last night, for the first time since the news of the Chancellor's death reached them.
He hadn't had the heart to tell her that his nightmares were not about the Chancellor dying, but about Obi-Wan facing down an execution squad. About Anakin, standing on the deck of the Invisible Hand, Palpatine's voice in his ear, telling him to do it, do it. Cut off the traitor's head, only to look down and find that the two sabers he is holding are familiar to him, and person on his knees before him is his master.
Anakin had woken with a yell around one in the morning, sweat soaked and shaking. He hadn't been able to sleep again.
Maybe that's why he feels so alive now, slightly manic and still trembling as he paces in front of the Force barrier of Obi-Wan's cell. Did someone tell Obi-Wan to cut him down? he'd had the thought somewhere around five in the morning. Had it been someone Obi-Wan trusted? Someone he loved?
Who stood to gain from the death of the Chancellor? Who had the Chancellor ever hurt or threatened?
Anakin walks as close as he dares to get to the cell. "Master," he says, coaxes really, pushing forward until he can hear the hum of the force field.
Obi-Wan's head thumps back against the wall and he watches him from under his eyelashes.
"Master, I'm with you, alright? Hey, I'm with you, always, alright, always, so if someone told you, manipulated you, just tell me please. I'll find them. I'll get them to turn themselves in, master. Just tell me. Why did you kill him?"
Obi-Wan closes his eyes. He looks for all the world as if he is meditating, save for that collar around his neck. The prison garb. He doesn't look like a murderer, but he is. He is. He killed the Chancellor. He is going to face execution. Anakin is going to have to watch him die too and all he can think is that he knows that Obi-Wan doesn't even kriffing like sugar in his karking tea.
"Answer me!" Anakin yells, lifting his fist and forgetting himself for just long enough that he slams it against the barrier. He pulls it back with a curse as the force field short-circuits his mech arm and the prison alarm blares out a warning siren.
This time, he is led away from the cell by a Coruscanti guard. He is advised to not return for a standard week. The entire time he is exiled from the prison, the only thing he can think about is the expression on Obi-Wan's face as he watches him leave: eyes wide open and forehead wrinkled with concern, as if worried that Anakin had hurt himself.
The day after he is allowed to return, he does. He does not want to seem too eager or desperate, so he waits until it's early in the evening before pointing his speeder towards the prison unit.
"It had to have been someone you loved," Anakin announces as he stops in front of Obi-Wan's cell. He's in his bed this time, lying on his back and looking at the ceiling. He does not twitch at Anakin's voice, though Anakin can tell that he's not asleep, though his eyes are closed. He can tell just from the minute lines of tension he's holding in his shoulders, his neck.
How can Anakin know him so well and not know that he is capable of this? Of murder on this scale?
"Hm?" Obi-Wan finally says, when the silence drags on and it becomes clear that Anakin will not say more until he has engaged. Anakin watches this war play out in the subtle movements of Obi-Wan's facial muscles as well. He knows him so well. He knows him better than he knows anyone else in the galaxy.
"The person you killed him for. You had to have loved him more than anything else in the entire galaxy to kill a man the way you did. Defenseless. Over sugar. You don't--you don't even take sugar in your tea! It was a coward's way of killing--and it doesn't--you would never. Not unless it was for someone you loved."
Obi-Wan's eyes blink open, but he doesn't look away from the ceiling. He doesn't look at Anakin.
"I don't--I don't know what harm you think Sheev Palpatine could cause to anyone, but that has to be it. Nothing else makes sense. You loved someone enough to kill for them, and you killed the Chancellor."
The words come out easily. Anakin has practiced them for a week now; it is the only thing that makes sense. Nothing else makes sense. Nothing else but love could make a man like Obi-Wan do what he did. He must have loved someone a lot. He must love them more than the Republic. More than his own freedom.
The first time Anakin had told Padmé his theory, she'd looked at him for ages, until he'd grown angry and defensive. She'd touched his arm, as if that could hold back this hurricane brewing inside his chest, and said, "I don't know if you're right, Ani. I don't know if I think you're wrong either. It's just...you sound so...jealous."
At least Obi-Wan doesn't say the same thing. But what he does say may be even worse. Because he doesn't deny it. He doesn't protest. All he says is, "And who is it that you think I love more than anything else in the galaxy, padawan?"
Anakin has thought about this, too. "Bail Organa," he makes himself say, even though the name curls his lips up into a sneer. Bail Organa, the man who has been voted the interim Supreme Chancellor of the Republic. The man who has gotten everything from this assassination, while Anakin has had his everything taken away.
On his cot, Obi-Wan's eyes slide closed. His mouth quirks up. "Ah," he says, as if he has had something he has long expected to confirmed to him. He says nothing else.
It makes Anakin want to hit the barrier again. It makes him want to scream. It makes him want to be petty, hurt Obi-Wan back in the same way that Anakin feels hurt even though it doesn't make sense, none of this makes sense. But it feels as if Obi-Wan has kept half of himself secret from Anakin, a whole love, his entire capacity to love, and Anakin wants to prove that he has as well.
So he says, voice mean and sharp, "Padmé is pregnant. The med-droid says it is twins."
Everything else remains unspoken, but surely audible. That they are his. That he never stopped seeing Padmé. Perhaps even that she is his wife.
On the cot, behind the Force barrier, in his chains, Obi-Wan opens his eyes and blinks at the ceiling. His lips form a small smile, as he says, still not looking at Anakin, still not looking at Anakin, "I know, dear one. Why do you think the Chancellor had to die?"
#asks#obikin#i mean again theyre not kissing but theyre in love#anakin doesn't realize it but its true#obi-wan realizes it#and literally committed murder about it#and is ready to take the whole blame and go down for it without involving the jedi or anakin#to protect anakin (because he's concerned that the jedi would be wary of anakin if they found sidious' plans for him?#because the jedi order may kick anakin out for having a wife and soon kids? idk obi-wan is just determined to be silent about the whole thn#just to make sure anakin is the safest and happiest lil snap pea#meanwhile anakin is having un-gifted by sidious nightmares about obi-wan dying#and padmé is like baby i think you're forgetting that whoever you think obi-wan is in love with isnt in trouble#like being loved by obi-wan wouldn't be a crime#killing the chancellor - that's a crime#allegedly kissing your master is not a crime#and anakin is like i see NO difference. the interloper must die#(which is at least 10% how obi-wan felt when he killed sidious after#a.figuring out all the weird grooming stuff sidious did with anakin#b. figuring out palpatine is sidious via idk some sort of force vision on the invisible hand or smth#c. reading the intricate plans sidious has for anakin once he becomes his master)#lol so far this is the only ficlet where im like#yeah i could probably write a whole 12k one shot on this#kenobi's trial#that ends the day before the verdict reading because anakin is that worried he'll be executed#so he breaks him out and forces him on the run#completely forgetting about his new family#because he has his Master Obi-Wan goggles on
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Linus Baker showing up 3 weeks late with a suitcase full of classified documents: honey im home!
#he was so fucking real for that#if /i/ was arthur i would appreciate that he at least committed some crimes while he abandoned me & the kids#not enough to get out of weeding. but at least he didnt go back for nothing#nyxtalks#the house in the cerulean sea#the cerulean chronicles
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We are either going to have (one of) the biggest queerbaits in cinematic history, or the biggest win.
#and if they aren’t endgame i’m going to commit some federal crimes#just kidding…kinda#duffers not fail me now#seriously#i will storm the capital#as i’ve said before#they mean THE WORLD to me#byler#will byers#mike wheeler#byler is endgame#byler is canon#byler is real#anti mileven#stranger things#s5 byler
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Okay I'm so sleep deprived so pardon whatever this is but something that's got me FUCKED up about ai generated pictures songs writing is that it just fucking kills the ability to analyse for me because there's no fucking INTENTION behind it. Like why was this decision made why were these colours used what does that say about the work NOTHING because a bunch of programming took work that DID have intent and theme and purposeful choices and turned it into SLOP. Like I COULD analyse this but it doesn't MEAN anything it's EMPTY I want to EXPLODEEE
#Like you can. You can technically analyse ai work for theme and visual literary etc motif but it's all fucking slop to me man#It's making me so cynical about like. Art. I guess. Given the state of corporations and capitalism and the endless stream of#MAKE MONEY BY ANY MEANS. FOR EVERY SECOND THE LINE DOESN'T GO UP WE EXECUTE A HOSTAGE#Like FUCK#I saw that fucking coca cola ad on tv and I wanna get violent man. Like the ad as a representation of all of. This#I know an ad isn't the same kinda thing it's just on my mind#Like nothing means anything anymore it's all gotta be slop it's all gotta be easy corporate slop to appease the market. Every fuckin thing#Ai generated shit is just an endless meaningless hole of malicious thieving garbage and I want to commit a crime#Sorry hi I've been back on that doing art professionally (kinda) grind and I haven't slept in a solid three days it's kinda wearing on me#Gonna be real lads#Oh also that's another thing this is my fucking. Like career path. I do art. And I have to monetize my one great passion. In order to eat#And pay for the constantly exploding rent prices. And now corporations are like hmmmmm#What if we didn't even pay you for that#What if. Hear me out. We stole people's work and made a computer do it#AND THE STUFF THE COMPUTER IS DOING IS GARBAGE#MEANINGLESSNESS SHIT ON TOP OF MEANINGLESS SHIT. FOR PROFIT#Uh anyways I'm going to bed now I have to get up in 3 hours I hope everyone has a better night than this and gets some rest!!#ai mention#vent post
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Consider young odysseus and Penelope courting by going on adventures together (committing crimes)
#The odyssey#Pre-canon#Odysseus#Penelope#Odypen#odysseus x penelope#I need to know how their courting went down#I bet it was insane#And also filled with sweet heartfelt crafts#Helen and the suitors in the background watching odypen commit crimes like it's some fucked up mating dance#Going what the fuck what the fuck#Helen: I'm so glad you found someone to match your freak pen but odysseus broke into our tressurary yesterday and father almost killed him#Helen: so maybe turn it down okay#Helen: At least while your father is here#Penelope: absolutely not did you see how hot ody's smug face was when he waltzed in carrying all of our precious jewels#Penelope: how will I know he's the one if he won't commit crimes against man and gods on my say so#Penelope: besides now I can steal his ships and I have not had this much fun in years
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deadly tag!!!
if you think their conversations are pure wholesome you should listen closely x)
and watch out for the trouble!
...but how could you not believe such sincere eyes??? 🥺🥺
#slay the princess#stp voices#stp#stp smitten#voice of the smitten#stp contrarian#voice of the contrarian#stp cold#voice of the cold#stp skeptic#voice of the skeptic#they are inno your honor#let them go#(go commit some crimes)#(i mean pranks)
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Ya know, Danny’s death could well be considered Manslaughter on the part of his parents. Manslaughter in Illinois is defined as either:
-The defendant knew or should have reasonably known that his actions could have lead to the death of the other party;
-The defendant's actions showed an apparent disregard for human life or were intrinsically dangerous; and
-The defendant's actions or failure of duty were the direct cause of the other party's death
The Fentons asked their 14-year-old to clean a lab full of hazardous and dangerous material without the proper equipment or training. The average person would therefore expect that Danny would somehow be harmed or even killed. They failed their duty as his legal guardians AND operated in a way that was intrinsically dangerous. By any definition, this was Manslaughter. Unfortunately, the maximum sentence for the crime of manslaughter is about 3-5 years. That said, because Danny is a minor and this is therefore also child endangerment, the charge could be upgraded to a class two felony with a maximum sentence of 7 years or 14 for an extended term. This would also invove a legal fee, a period of supervision for up to two years, and an investigation by CPS (who would ABSOLUTELY take Jazz and Danny away)
#danny phantom#dp#Illinos law#that sentence still feels way to short#I do not like Jack and Maddie#just a small consideration#I may go into some of the other crimes#the fenton adults have commited and their sentences
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they
them :)
#cb jerrie and teazer should go commit some crimes together i think it would end perfectly with zero mishaps or accidents along the way#ask#mungojerrie#rumpleteazer#cb the red caboose#in spirit
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Happy very belated birthday.. I hope you had much time celebrating by digging for tubers : )

I'M DIGGING FOR TUBERS! AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME!
#fanart#PIO!!! THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! This is truly so so so delightful to look at.#The roundness...the delightful way you have drawn the ears and boots...#I would commit wildlife conservation crimes and pick this beast up in the wild. Consequences be damned that thing can dig for tubers.#(I have not made a tag for posts with my cowboy cat but I think I need to change that).#Now that I'm reading this whole post again I realize how much of it really sets the tone for my blog.#Does the art look funny? Yes. But I still show up to do it!#I can digging for tubers (make art and enjoy it)#Some people might be here enjoying my process ironically but I have to take myself seriously...much to think about.#I can also go admire my real tubers and give them words of affirmation while they hibernate.#Thank you for also giving me a moment to pause and reflect Pio. An incredible doubled pronged gift <3
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i know gangcheori is an asshole and not to be trusted but unfortunately i like it when men are snarky, stupid and more than a little pathetic. and he fits the bill perfectly OTL
#i talk a lot#the haunted palace#yes he did kidnap yeo ri's lover boy's corpse#but like. he was dead already! what was he gonna do? let a perfectly good body go to waste???#i also loved how offended he was when yeo ri accused of killing him#he's not taking blame for crimes he didn't even get to commit#and him trying to save yeo ri from falling off a cliff only for both of them to end up falling? hilarious#he's so stupid lmaooo#i'm sure he'll do something that will turn me off immediately at some point#but right now i'm having a blast with him ajsjsksk
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Body Count. Logan/Wade, post-Deadpool & Wolverine, Explicit. 11,660 words.
In which the title refers to the number of sexual partners a person has had, despite what you might think. With digressions into wanton domesticity, temporary vampirism as an excuse for Logan to have the comics-accurate little kitty fangs (sorry), New York City apartment hunting, canon-typical intimations that Logan is Wade’s little pet Wolverine, photo ops on a dead Celestial, genuine and deep romantic feelings (sorry again), and what happens when you have an unlimited budget for cameos because this is a work of fanfiction and not a multi-million dollar movie.
Read it on AO3!
#poolverine#deadpool and wolverine#i have committed. word crimes.#and ao3 for some reason would not let me tag all the characters so guess what! you'll be surprised!#please let me know if this was good lol writing in a new fandom is so fucking scary and i had nobody to hold my hand with this one#was it funny? did i get the humor right? was the sex scene good? did the structure work for you? was the characterization fine? did it feel#haha god i have to go to bed#my fic#terror!!!!!
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the sister in question can hear him btw. she's choosing to instead stare at Cody's mouth piercings intently.
to Noé, Cody is public enemy #1 rn [right alongside Fragola congrats!!]
Cody: @sweetestflow3rs
#my tiny girl ♡#unfortunately it's too late for her she finds manipulative assholes hot and she's rapidly losing her logical braincells#damsel has two types rn that she'd immediately lt fold her in half: emo/punk bitches and large manipulators ♡#she will deny any “finding Cody hot” allegations btw. why would you insinuate such a thing??#[she says like she's not thinking of a thousand ways to get him to overstim her into passing out]#[her sense of control is slipping. she's going to commit a federal crime]#the siblings are so normal as you can see ♡#dol pc#cody the messenger#the. noémiesai post is next on my chopping block but i’ve gotta lock in this weekend for some classes so#we shall see what i get done#damsel draws sometimes#side note i saw a manga panel from apothecary diaries I'm p sure and i wanna draw Damsel in that pose#idk with who though. much to ponder.#damsel evren#noémie brooks
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ah yes, who doesn't love pouring hours into snapping photos, then editing them for twice as long, coming up with something a bit more interesting than *insert generic trope 5479* only to then *checks notes* get downvoted on reddit?!
#life#the bg3 adventures#uh... lmao wut#what is going on did i commit a crime and no one told me about it#i put the blorbos in pretty clothes and wanted to share some pics#fuck me i guess lmao i'll uh.. stop doing that?#ngl lately been feeling like my time in this fandom is approaching its end#idk.. i don't feel neither welcome nor wanted#like.. i know i can't keep up with the fast pace and engage with everyone and talk to people and all that#but i thought at least i had something to offer creatively#some interesting ideas some pretty art#but i guess that ain't enough 🤷♀️#unfortunate as it is... that's the reality of being mentally and chronically ill#no amount of cosplaying as a normal functional woman will change the fact that.. i'm not#maybe it's truly all about plagiarizing and snaking your way into people's circles and then paying for followers#maybe that's how you get anywhere#i'm too old for this shit#delete it old.mp4
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