#(if theres anything you need me to change please feel free to let me know!)

[respondedinkind]

Plotted starter for @ssolessurvivor

Something must have gone wrong at some point during Ka'anh's escape - because the last thing he remembers is that he made it, that he managed to get his beaten body to a shuttle and leave his home behind, flee from the special forces sent after him to try and get him to succumb to his fate.

Now, however, he's not where he should be, he can tell; He's not sitting within his shuttle, he's not controlling it in any way, he's not flying it through the vast distance of space.

He's lying on his stomach instead, face down, and the surface his face is pressed against isn't made of cold steel but rather of... something else. Something that smells different; It tickles his face, which Ka'anh barely feels, because the pain he experiences is probably the worst he's ever gone through.

A moan escapes him, deep and guttural; Something stabs into his abdomen, somewhere next to his navel, the rhythmic pulse a telltale of something dangerous happening within his skull. Every fiber of his existence is on fire, every nerve ending sending signals through his body at speeds that overwhelm him, and with every breath he takes, Ka'anh can hear his lungs rattle like he's pulling chains through his ribcage.

This might be the first time he actually wants to die - to just stay here and give up, to have this pain fade and leave him, throw him into darkness to never return. But of course he does not give in to the urge; He's a soldier, he's made for survival, and he doesn't want the fight against his own kind to have been for nothing - it wouldn't be worth it, deem it a failure despite his success to get away from a home that never has given him the comfort it should have in the first place.

Somehow, Ka'anh manages to move - he uses his left arm to push himself up, which, in return, causes his frame to roll onto his back; He cries out as he does, the pain that shoots through him so intense he feels like he's going to puke his guts out, but it does not happen, not yet. Eyes squeezed shut, teeth bared in agony, Ka'anh inhales, exhales, inhales and exhales - he whistles as he does, not on purpose but because his lungs continue to collapse, a rib or two must have broken through the tissue. His body shivers from exhaustion and effort to keep him alive, and when Ka'anh finally manages to crack his eyes open, he is greeted with blobs of blue and green, but no clear image that tells him where he is.

Brain damage, his mind successfully provides, most likey from whatever he's suffered through. He hears the sound of broken machinery, smells molten steel - he must have crashed somewhere, he assumes. Get up, get up, get up! Assess the damage, assess your health, figure out where you are and how you get away again!

As Ka'anh tries to do exactly that, he realizes his injuries must be even worse than expected - one of his legs doesn't cooperate, it's likely broken at least twice, somewhere along the hip perhaps. When he blinks to clear his vision, he can see the blurry shapes of his own self as he looks down - spotting his shirt being torn, soaked with blood, his shaking hands equally as bright red in color as he holds them up in front of his face. One wrist must be broken, it bends awkwardly, and the stabbing sensation from earlier is a piece of metal debris poking out from the left side of his lower abdomen.

"---Wi..." (Fuck), he grunts, his head falling back to the ground as he takes another breath, trying to steady himself. Only after a second he tries again, growls as he sits up, then somehow manages to turn back around so he is on all fours (or, all threes, as his one leg is of no use). His wrist creaks under the pressure and he, as quickly as he can, shifts his weight to his other hand - then uses the bad one to wipe away some sweat and blood from his forehead, blinking again as he takes a peek at what surrounds him.

His shuttle, wrecked. Nature that's unfamiliar to him, including trees and grass. The scent of blood is overwhelming, and despite everything being quiet it almost feels deafening, the silence added to his own blood rushing within his ears. He huffs, takes another breath, feeling nausea hitting him in sharp bursts to which he swallows - trying to keep it at bay.

He needs to... figure something out. He has a medkit somewhere, but to find it will be close to impossible with how damaged and torn his shuttle is. Perhaps his body would cope on its own, but with the concussion, the metal sticking inside his abdomen, the multiple broken bones all over his frame, the collapsed lung, possible internal bleeding... chances are slim, even for someone like him.

Ka'anh gives in, finally, and retches - covering the grass beneath himself in crimson, coughing in between, the pain almost too much to handle. Too much to exist. Too much to endure.

He thinks he hears something, somewhere - like twigs snapping beneath weight, perhaps. Fuck, where is his gun?! Where is it?! He can not find it on his own body as his hand starts to pat himself down...

[the-laughing-lunatic]

Hiya! I was wondering if you could how would the tf2 crew act with a reader who has chronic pain. I would like it to be platonic.Thank you and Have a wonderful day ☺

(ofc! I tried to do my research but I don’t have chronic pain, apologies if anything is wrong :< thanks for requesting!)

Scout, Medic, Spy, Engie, and Heavy w/ a reader who has chronic pain (PLATONIC)

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

☆Scout☆

He doesn’t get it at first honestly

Once you explain it more he feels really bad for you

Like you just hurt? All the time? And he can’t rlly do anything to make it go away?

If you have to cancel plans of going somewhere to hang out he’ll stay with you inside

“Scout, are you sure you don’t want to go with the rest of the team to get drinks? I don’t want to make you stay in my room.”

“Pally, I’m happy as hell bein’ here. You’re my bud, I ain’t just gonna leave ya here when you already feel like shit. Now just relax, aight? Back to what I was sayin’, lemme tell ya ‘bout the time I absolutely destroyed alla BLU…”

Major yapper alert

Perfectly content with just being near to you, he likes being entertaining for you to at least distract you from the pain

☆Medic☆

The most educated about it (obviously) 

Constantly has all your meds on hand along with refills

Is a huge hypocrite about making sure you’re okay

“You must sleep now fruend, it is twenty-two right now and you need your rest.”

“Medic you haven’t slept in four days.”

“That is entirely beside the point.”

(mf looks thru ur window to make sure ur actually sleeping /unreality)

Is intrigued about how your pain is triggered by certain things and will want to run experiments (dw he’ll undo whatever he did w/ his medigun and give you a lollipop)

Will offer you different surgeries to help but they all seem a little too experimental in nature 

Will give you the privilege of feeding his doves if you’re having a bad pain episode 

☆Spy☆

Relates to you somewhat (I headcanon him as a cane user)

Always has his smoking room open to you if you need a place to rest

If you’re sensitive to sound his room is perfect

It’s far from the other rooms and common areas, and if he is there with you he is often just reading a book with the occasional glance to make sure you don’t need anything

Never says it but he does enjoy your company a lot

You notice after a while that theres stock of all the things you typically use for pain episodes 

“Spy? Why are there heat packs in here?”

“Ah, those are for me, but please feel free to use them if you would like.”

“...don’t you just only use cold packs for your pain?”

“Let’s change the subject, shall we?”

“Alright. …thanks.”

Does a lot of favors for you secretly, and knows you know it’s him but he’ll still never say it outright

☆Engineer☆

Literally has a mental list of foods that you should and shouldn’t eat if youre having a pain episode and will act like a strict parent abt it

“No more soda for you, it ain’t gonna help ya with that pain of yours. If ya need a drink I got some tea that’ll actually help ya.”

“But–”

“No buts, tea, water, or nothin’.”

“Fine, I’ll have some water.”

In his workshop he’ll come up with loads of gadgets to try to make your life easier :3

Will prolly make a robot for you to do your menial tasks that take up too much energy

☆Heavy☆

Is there constantly to help you with anything you need

You don’t have the energy to make yourself a coffee? Boom, he’s got it for you.

Debating whether or not it’s worth it to do the laundry to then be in bad pain all day? He already did it hours ago.

He’ll offer you to join him exercising to help with the pain

“Ugh, h- heavy I’ve done thirty pushups already, can we quit?”

“Net, exercise good for you.”

“C’mon! I’m already in pain, can’t you give me a little mercy?”

“And now are in different pain, da? This one good!”

Dw, he makes sure to not actually push you past your limits

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[the-kipsabian]

wrestling fic writers!!

i have decided to be the change i wanna see, so lets do a nice little thing for each other, as a community full of incredible and talented writers. yes this is writer specific only, but thats cause thats where the main problem of people not interacting with creative works lies in this fandom as far as i can tell and have seen people talking about it especially in the last couple of months

if you read this, please add links to your written works. it can be just a single fic youre really proud of, your writing blog, your writing tag, your ao3 account, anything where your works can be found

and if you leave your link here, PLEASE check out someone else that has left their works, and interact with them. leave them a comment, even just a kudos, REBLOG their fic, etc. interacting is the keyword i want to emphasize here, along with building a sort of a masterpost of where to find people writing in this fandom

and if you are not a writer, youre still highly encouraged to interact with this post and share it and show love to the writers in this fandom, obviously!! i think that should go without saying, but adding it in anyways

a bit more about my vision and resources and such under the read more, but thats the gist of it. happy linking and please be kind and supportive to each other!! 💜

nobody is too big or too small to add their things on this list. if you write and post anything in this fandom whatsoever, be it fics or drabbles or headcanons, any companies or any kind of ships or reader inserts or any content whatsoever no matter how 'dead dove dont eat' or hell even if its just meta, we welcome all here and nobody can say that one thing is less valid than another. just please tag your content accordingly, especially if theres content warnings, and feel free to mention what you write, who you write, any info you wish to leave that would help people before they click on your links. but even so, that should not and hopefully will not deter people from interacting, no matter what it is. someones trash is another ones treasure, i promise you

and unless the amount gets really overwhelming, im personally going to be checking out everyone that leaves something here. unless it squeaks me out, but even then, i'll spread the word. and i just wish as many people as possible will do the same, and not just use this as a potential board to only get eyes on their stuff. ofc thats also the point, but you should give as much, if not more, than you get. we need to be kind and supportive of one another (besides, from personal experience, if you show love to someone else, they are more likely to do it back than without you taking the first step, so... pay it forward)

as for resources, heres a few links that should be helpful in leaving comments and feedback. of course everyone does their own thing and no comment is too big or too small to leave, but for those who need them. if you have anything you'd like added to this list, dont hesitate to get in touch or drop it in the post yourself!!

101 comment starters

ao3 floating comment box

kudos html

dont know how to comment? easy solutions

a quick hot guide to commenting (by yours truly)

an overall guide to appreciating fanfic writers

and just in general.. leave people comments. leave them asks about their projects. just go over and gush about their work. i know it sounds embarrassing but writers love nothing more than to hear that someone likes what they are doing. if you find a fic that hasnt been updated in forever, comment on it. it might just be the spark the author needs to continue. while kudos and likes are nice, and just as valuable to some, its definitely in the words the people leave for them that matter the most. im not saying this to put pressure on anyone, its just how it is, and i feel like unless people are writers themselves, and even then sometimes, thats just hard to grasp, especially if the writer is a smaller and less popular one who doesnt get a lot of traffic in the first place

i think thats all. just be nice and considered to everyone, reblog peoples works, this post with others add ons and so forth. and if i find anyone talking shit here or at other writers for something they share, you'll be blocked and im probably taking your kneecaps. be fucking nice. we are all struggling here and we need to stick together

happy sharing and commenting 💜💜

[prestonmonterey]

intro

!! plz dont send me chain asks !!

(pronouns page is linked on there but also here if you dont wanna look for it:)

ok so uhh basically the gist of it

hi

im preston

uhh for names call me preston or pres or squid or orion or jaxon or actually just whatever you want i dont mind (more on my prounouns page) (if we're friends/moots feel free to gimme a nickname if ya want)

pronouns are it/he/they (the order of preference changes from time to time also neos are alright just anything other than she/her)

fandoms im most active in: varian and the seven kingdoms/tangled the series, camp here and there (will wood too!!), adamandi, the art of pleasing princes, starkid, spies are forever and percy jackson (mostly the musical bc im in a production of it :)

you can always interact with me! apparently im intimidating but i swear im really nice (i think) and id be really happy if you sent an ask at any time :3 i promise i wont get annoyed even if you think youre being annoying i just really like interacting with cool people :3

you can tag me in anything and everything! i promise ill look at it :3 and i try my best to do tag games and stuff (lmk if you dont want me to tag ya) but if i dont uhh, just assume i was like, really tired that day, or ive been tagged by another moot in that game before and im too lazy to dig it up :P sry

uhh im a minor too so like nsfw/18+ blogs dni

i try my best to use tone tags but if i forget and you need them please let me know!! (i also find tone tags helpful for myself) :3

theres more info on my card about like other stuff too

tag key:

#marble musings = original posts

#marble monologues = long posts/reblogs usually about chnt or just like existentialism idk

#marble draws = art/fanart/crafts/cosplay type thing

#marble games = i make games on google forms! hoping to learn to code or get an actual game engine to make full games past like choose your own adventures

#marble music = song covers :3 (yes i have all the filtered instrumentals i used for adamandi, lmk if you want them i can send em over discord or something)

#marble asks = answering stuff in my ask box

i think thats all of them :3 might add more eventually, and sometimes i forget to tag properly so sorry about that :(

i have some sideblogs if you wanna check em out (not super active on them but ill still try to respond if you shoot me an ask)

hatchetfield rp sideblogs: @thelilcloverpatch @fading-angelic-starlight @marble-man @honey-sparrow @ivy-wreathed-arches

and @hatchetfield-bone-thief

theyre all dead and uhh tw for spookies and violence and blood and sh and ritualistic sacrifice

i have a couple other blogs but those are secret :D

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw for suicide

im unsure about a lot of my life and myself. it feels like my identity keeps changing, or aspects of it. i dont know what makes me me. i crave things but once i have them it makes me doubt myself. i doubt that im really me. i dont feel like theres a me. i know at one point there was, but its hard to remember. i know the facts but i cant recall my thoughts or feelings. i look at myself and its like im looking at someone else. i imagine its what looking at an imaginary friend you've grown up with feels like. familiar and constant but ultimately fiction. i feel as though ive made myself up. everytime i think ive finally found myself, the real one thats been buried inside me all along, the doubt and confusion and falseness starts to creep in again. i dont know what to do.

my outside life has been dull and stagnant. i wake up everyday fated to the same mindless motions that come with being out of school and out of work. i do nothing. i have two friends, but one mightve moved along already. i briefly entertained the possibility of a relationship with my remaining friend. i dont think it would go over very well since i tend to destroy all my relationships in one way or another. i dont know how i would handle my identity crises with a partner, anyway.

i dont know if i want to be here for much longer. im curious about death, and afraid. what keeps me here most days is the deluded hope that someone will save me. i know that no one can save me. im my own responsibility. i dont take well to large responsibilities.

if you have any advice its very much welcome. i just needed a place to get this out.

Hi anon,

I am not a professional and my purpose in this explanation is not to armchair diagnose. Based on my extensive knowledge of dissociative disorders, several things you've described here are experiences that many people with dissociative disorders share, and I strongly encourage you to speak to a professional (ideally one who is specialized in dissociative disorders) if possible so they can give you a much more accurate opinion. If anyone has any additional comments or suggestions feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[hotti3-4-u]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

Hiii! :D Post about my writings and boundaries!

Hi guys! Since im pretty new to tumble writing I thought I should do a post about my writings, boundries and other little things you should know! PLEASE READ THIS IF YOU ARE NEW!

Fandoms I write for / have seen:

Demon Slayer

Jujutsu Kaisen

Attack on titan

My Hero Academia

Blue lock

Blue Eyed Samurai

Chainsaw Man

Spy x family

Mortal Kombat

More to come!

My writtings/boundries:

I take requests! I will write both sfw/nsfw! I DO NOT WRITE NSFW FOR MINORS! For example: Anya. I think thats pretty obvious but we all know there are people like that out there. If, for example, your asking for a character like Yuji, I will always, ALWAYS, make the scenario where the character is older and the appropriate age! Yuji is way closer to 18 and its easier to age them up then a child like Anya. I probably won't take any requests for anime's I haven't seen unless I know a little about the character or I want to search about them. I mostly will write about a female reader or non-binary since their the easiest. I will try my best for a male reader but I may not always take those requests! I will always put warnings on my writings if there is anything sensitive/spoilers. I'll try my best with writting any ships thaat I don't specifically ship or like.

I have read the Manga for demon slayer and thats it, I did finish Attack on titan tho so I wont get any spoilers for that teehee! I usually just watch the anime's but im working on my manga collection! I currently just have the first 3 of chainsaw man and blue lock, SO NO SPOILERS FOR ANY OF THE ANIME'S I'VE LISTED PLEASE!

Finished Anime's/manga's so far:

Demon slayer

Attack On Titan

Feel free to let me know if theres anything else I should add/change about my posts. Please trust my writing process as my spelling is not always on point! NO HATE PLEASE. I will most likely do a post about my fav ships and characters I ship for readers. I'll always add changes to this post when I find stuff I think needs to be added here.

Feel free to ask questions please!

[spartalabouche]

spartas guide to ordering a commission

as a preface, this is all stuff that i personally appreciate when being commissioned, other artists may or may not also appreciate these things!

i personally find commissioning people a little intimidating, and to me it seems like people who commission me feel a little intimidated or unsure of what is or isnt helpful, so i thought i would make a 'small', non exhaustive guide of tips and things that i appreciate in a customer :3

pre commission information i need:

size (bust/half body/full body/reference sheet/etc) level of completion (sketch/lined/flat/full shade) references for the character (more on this below!) a pose idea, reference, or a quick rundown on the characters personality (if you dont have a pose in mind, knowing their personality will help me pose them in a way that fits them!) background, if applicable (if you dont specify a background i will assume you dont want one)

regarding references:

i LOVE references. please please please do not feel like you have too many references, this includes photos of clothing, poses, tattoos, accessories, facial features, hair styles, anything that you feel like would be communicated easier with an image, please feel free to find one and include it as a reference drawn reference sheets or other art of fictional characters are preferred, but not mandatory. reference sheets make it easier for drawing pre existing fictional characters, but again, a good collection of photos will do the trick i will not copy another artists work 1:1, but i can take inspiration if theres a drawing that you think captures the idea/vibe youre looking for please be responsive with feedback, especially if im drawing a character from scratch based off of a collection of photos! i want to be sure im drawing what youre looking for! (more on this below!)

regarding feedback:

typically i try to send an update for feedback after every step of the commission, which means i will send you the sketch for approval, then i send you the lineart, then the flats, then the shading, before sending a link to a high quality version of the commission. please let me know if you would rather i dont wait for your approval between each step, otherwise i WILL wait for you to give me the go ahead before continuing any further. please please do not be afraid to ask me to change something. the sooner you tell me you want something changed, the easier it is for me to change it! i wont be offended or annoyed, YOU are paying me, so i want the commission to be what youre looking for! that being said, please be reasonable with changes. this just means, please dont ask me to change the entire pose around once im halfway through coloring it, any alterations to the pose or large additions like entire props or huge outfit changes ideally should be made during the lineart stage at the latest. past the lineart stage i am still happy to make smaller edits, like changing the expression or altering clothes in small ways, but i will not redraw entire portions of the character, thats the reason i send updates between steps. if you really want something large changed later in the commission, i can change it for an additional fee

and finally post commission:

please feel free to repost your commission anywhere you want and use it for any purpose! crop it for icons, use it on a blog theme, post it to every social media known to man, all i ask is that you dont remove my watermark and link back to my tumblr if youre reposting it! if you commissioned me for a sketch or lineart, feel free to line it and/or color it yourself like a coloring book! i can do this for reference sheets as well, with blank turn arounds that i can send over transparents of for you to color in! just make sure to credit me for the original sketch/lineart i can also remove any backgrounds or crop your commission for an icon free of charge! i can also put a flag or flat color in the background of a cropped icon if you so desire! and finally, you are totally welcome to edit and draw over any commission i do for you as well, or contact me again and i might still have the original files to do some edits for you for free or, depending on complexity, a low price! this could be anything such as adding accessories, tattoos, outfit changes, or removing/editing things like cutting hair shorter, removing piercings, or alterations to expressions.

i may edit this to add things as i remember them, but this generally has the information i feel like will be most helpful.

.......so check out my commissions if youre interested!

[girlyegoist]

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ꒰ 7 : 13 ⁞ 𝐩𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝.

⠀⠀im gonna tell you about the reason i ⠀⠀made this page along w a few things to ⠀⠀bear in mind.

⠀⠀i did not make this page just to put ⠀⠀women down for feeling low, or belittle ⠀⠀them for not having the confidence ⠀⠀others do. this is a learning experience, or ⠀⠀at least a little motivation to become a ⠀⠀better version of yourself. i want to see all ⠀⠀the women out there realize their beauty, ⠀⠀power, and strengths. the internet is ⠀⠀constantly putting women down for their ⠀⠀appearance because the standards they ⠀⠀hold are beyond unrealistic and unethical. ⠀⠀we should accept & embrace what we ⠀⠀were gifted. it is critical that a woman ⠀⠀lives her life to its fullest, which cant ⠀⠀happen when she is constantly critiquing ⠀⠀herself and everything she does.

⠀⠀"Woman is closer to angels than man, ⠀⠀because she knows how to mingle an ⠀⠀infinite tenderness with the most ⠀⠀absolute compassion." ⠀⠀⠀⠀- Honoré de Balzac, 1799-1850

1 ⋮ your feelings are normal. just like any ⠀⠀high schooler, or person at all, i was very ⠀⠀shy at first & insecure. i decided to ⠀⠀change that, and im gonna help u too~.

2 ⋮ dont be comfortable at your lowest. ⠀⠀theres nothing wrong w feeling insecure, ⠀⠀but there is something wrong w not ⠀⠀wanting to change it and not striving to ⠀⠀be better.

3 ⋮ be comfortable with confidence. ⠀⠀having an ego doesnt automatically make ⠀⠀you a narcissist, so if you take my advice, ⠀⠀please dont second guess urself.

4 ⋮ beauty is in the eye of the beholder. ⠀⠀every woman is beautiful, but not ⠀⠀everyones type, but that shouldnt make ⠀⠀you put yourself down. you were created ⠀⠀the way you were for a reason.

5 ⋮ know the truth. none of that 'fake it till ⠀⠀you make it' bs, youre going to know your ⠀⠀worth. being confident should be a ⠀⠀lifestyle, not just a mindset.

6 ⋮ be beautiful inside & out. being ⠀⠀physically beautiful doesnt keep a man ⠀⠀around, let alone friends, a beautiful mind ⠀⠀does.

7 ⋮ this wont come naturally for some. ⠀⠀this is going to be difficult, but even more ⠀⠀difficult if you dont believe in yourself.

8 ⋮ keep an open mind. some advice i give ⠀⠀may seem offensive or overwhelming, but ⠀⠀is that because you dont think itll work? ⠀⠀or because youre weak minded?

9 ⋮ be true to yourself. i will not ⠀⠀sugarcoat your feelings or troubles, my ⠀⠀thoughts & advice, my lifestyle, or ⠀⠀mindset. some things may be a big pill to ⠀⠀swallow, but im not here to show off, im ⠀⠀here to help so you may accept it, or you ⠀⠀can leave.

10 ⋮ divinity is key.

⠀⠀if you have anything youd like me to write ⠀⠀about, questions you may have, or advice ⠀⠀you need, feel free to let me know. ❤︎

[kdipshit]

Souljah For Life ;

I am not writing to please anyone, thats the beauty of coming online and starting at the bottom, with no promotion, no… well thats about it, I haven’t told anybody I’m doing this, I’ve done it before, but never like this. Its kind of scary, but like I said, being scared kind of keeps me cool. I give thanks to jah. I’ve always known that one day I’m gonna have to deal with all of this shit I’ve been pushing down, its kind of exciting and gives me something for my scatterbrain to do lol. I don’t know what writing to post does to me yet, I just know I don’t want to depend on anyone or anything else, and its kind of hard to see a different outcome by doing all I know. Who taught me all I know and how open is their mind? What kind of person are they? Where did they learn that? Why do they believe that, and are they open to broading their horizon?

i will continue to express what ever it is that needs expressing.Ramble writing, lol. I’m sure theres gold in some of these sentences. To put my mind in order enough to contract said sentence, is the struggle itself. When I speak, it comes out jittery, anxious and embarrassing, so I kind of just don’t speak, without looking around after wards. Im grateful because maybe thats why I see myself as such a brilliant writer, I have the right amount of time to process and figure out what I want to say, not right off that bat, but once processed.

See I’m speaking as if thats something I do, Im always saying things I want to do and trying to speak into existence the person I want to be but the thought of me not being able to do it throws me off, but now that we know emotion can only grow from thought, the best move would be to change the thought… right? The thought : everyone is judging me…. Counter thought : No one cares, no they dont, they don’t care. Just speak. Just write. Just express yourself because no one cares if you do or if you don’t. It make me feel good, and I’m sure, I’m sure of it, theres gotta be gold in here.

Anyways girls, skins looking tight, hair hopefully less orange by the time I read this again, weed is up, feeling like a true winner. How could anything go wrong? Looking at life as if it’s someone I’m in love with is the easiest for me, considering how easy and natural love is for this libra. My Venus is in Leo and I think that means I’m confident in my love, which explains me effortlessly. I haven’t felt love in a long time, big S word about it, I guess I just sit here.

I am stronger and wiser than I was the day before. Every ‘now’ moment I find myself in, I am better than the last. I’ve been learning to think differently, now that I’m aware of my power over them, just small things like stopping myself from holding onto the automatic thought and instead changing it to the positive opposite. My younger sister told me she loved me today, but meant it as she loves the person I am, and that I can go through so much and still be a good person afterwards, and not a crackhead or someone who took the ‘easy’ way out, for the record I don’t think that’s the easy way out. She’s someone whose opinion about me I value because of how much I have let her down in the past, with my drinking and absolute psychotic episodes, I’ve always wanted to be the good older sister, and I’m here. This is usually around the time I start to self sabotage, but I choose to feel so much differently, instead actually embracing the change instead of running away to my old ways, just because I know them so well. I’m so excited on my new journey with my new flower bed of a brain. I brought a new sweater today and I swear to god im the cutest thing ever.

My mind seems kind of empty and its so freeing, The vibration that the music projects is feeling nek level kahi. I’m here, I’m in this moment, I feel okay….. I feel level, I feel high, I feel so grateful, I feel full of love energy, I feel light blue, yellow, green. I feel good here. Blue and yellow together is so beautiful and eye opening and makes you feel so fresh right??? Thats how I feel anyways.

[myownangel]

okay wow hi, anon who talked about horimiya, wow thats crazy so after i sent it, i basically stopped rolling around tumblr for a good while and just about a week ago i began coming back again and funny you just now replied to it haha. thought you had replied to it already, nice to see while coming back and you just now did.

okay it was a bit exaggerated maybe, but i did see a fair amount of reviews who were completely disliking it and just throwing hate at it, cant recall why, because its been a hot min since i finished it. dont wanna read too many reviews either because i get sorta influenced by people and then i feel like i need to lower rating score and shit and its a mess.

yea i'd agree with you, but it doesnt have to be perfect to be likeable, i think. was the manga similar to the anime btw? im currently trying to read the manga i have and then may move onto the stuff i dont have, which'll be online!

oh dont worry!! is all fine, take your time, theres never a need to rush with anything. im sure if someone sends you something, they most likely will come back to you after you replied.

have a good rest of the week!

😯 there is just one explanation to this... drumroll please 🥁: we can read minds!! Alfjalfkajskakd okay, yep let's ignore that poor attempt at being funny 😂 Hiya again, i'm glad you came back to tumblr (◕ᴗ◕✿) and i'm relieved that it was perfect timing yaaay!!

(i ended up writing more than planned so the rest is below hehe)

So, after your ask i got a bit curious and actually searched for it to kinda understand a little.. i guess? But then i remembered another reason why i try not to read reviews and it's exactly as you said, i can read something and be like "ohh now that you mention it you may be right" or stuff like that and the way i see or understand things starts to change a little (which i don't know if it's bad or not but sometimes you can't help it 🤷🏻‍♀️).

And yep, I'd say the anime was similar to the manga but i totally recommend reading it, the art style is beautiful and it has details and extras that weren't in the anime (as always 🤭) that you can't just miss, they are just too cute and sweet to not know about them 🥺 aaaand if you read it feel free to come back and tell me your favorite parts (*˘︶˘*) also, which manga are you reading? if i may ask, for research purposes 😌

Hope you're having a wonderful week dear anon ✨

[tendouluvr]

aizawa calling you clingy - gn reader

- [attempt at] angst to fluff

- warnings: being called clingy, aizawa gets annoyed with reader and berates them, one use of the word ‘shit’

- wc: 1.9k

a/n: this wasnt......as sad as i wanted... i cant tell if im just not so good at writing angst or immune to it T_T

once again, not edited!

#! aizawa!!!! eee

#! hes a levelheaded man so arguments are rare

#! u both trust one another so theres no reason to have doubts in ur relationship

#! being his s/o, he tells u things thats not so easy to tell others over time, and you’re patient enough to let him take however much time he needs to let u in

#! however, years of keeping to himself most of the time doesnt just disappear even if you’re his s/o

#! so aizawa does have this tendency to close off and distance himself from u bc of his stress and insecurities

walking through the spacious halls of ua, you were headed towards your lovely boyfriend. aizawas been pretty busy lately with teaching his class, making sure no one is being left behind progress wise, doing his job as a pro-hero, and then spending his free time training with shinsou.

you knew showing up at school unexpectedly was something aizawa found irky, that’s why you made sure to tell him the night before that you would be coming during lunch time to bring him some yummy homemade food.

humming softly to yourself, you finally reached the door opening to class 1-A and walked in. the classroom was empty, but there at the front was no one other than mr. aizawa shouta. you quickly greeted him with a smile and he turned to look at you.

“what are you doing here?” he slowly asked with a look of confusion.

“i brought you some food! did you eat yet? i hope not, i made-,” you quickly stopped talking once you noticed the look he was giving you.

“why are you here? i already told you, you shouldnt be showing up without letting me know first. our relationship is quiet, if the students see they’ll get noisy and ask questions, i’ll get bombarded by my colleagues, and it’ll put you in danger if words get out. did anyone see you coming here? can you listen to me for once instead of continuing to always be near me? you’re so damn clingy and need to start thinking about the consequences your action will bring. i already ate, just go home before anything happens.”

your jaw dropped a little after hearing what he just said to you. did he not remember what you told him last night?

worst of all, you couldnt believe he just called you clingy. you just wanted to do something nice for him by making his favorite food hoping that it’ll relieve some of the stress thats been building up, but he just thought of you as clingy.

fine, if clingy is what you are then you’ll stop bothering him. you quickly whispered an apology, not sure if he could hear or not, and began making your way back home as fast as possible. the food you made for him was still tightly grasped in your hand.

due to the new dormitories, aizawa stays at ua majority of the time. he comes home to your shared apartment whenever he can to spend time with you. unfortunately, those time aren’t usually much because as soon as he’s free, he’s quick to do something else.

once you’ve made it home, you packed the food away and put it in the fridge. you felt your phone buzzing repeatedly, already guessing who it could possibly be, you took it out to see it was your boyfriend.

shou <3: im sorry

shou <3: honey, im so sorry. pls text me back when u can

shou <3: i know what i said hurted u, but i promise u i dont mean it. pls just call me or text me so we can talk about this

shou <3: i have to go back now. but i love u. so much.

staring at your screen, you contemplated texting him back.

letting out a sigh, you decided not to.

putting your phone to the side, you walked to the bedroom and changed out of your clothes into the comfy pjs you were wearing right before you left.

seeing that there was nothing for you to do other than wallow in your insecurities and let out a few tears, you got into bed and made yourself comfortable for an afternoon nap.

aizawa on the other hand was at school and distracted. his own words kept replaying over and over in his head and all he wants to do is smack himself a few times (after comforting u ofc).

his students could tell he was in a badder mood than usual so they collectively agreed to not worsen it (one particular student does not care. can u guess?). aizawa just wanted the day to pass so he can apologize to you directly and make it up with some cuddling.

despite being distracted with planning his apology and thinking about you, he was still teaching as he should and constantly telling his students to be quiet because he’s intimidating like that.

a few hours passed, the students are back in their dorms and some of the teachers are still in school finishing up some work. the hallways were empty and silent, and the weather outside was nice and calm - not too sunny with just the right amount of wind.

however, if you were to peek your head inside of class 1-A at the moment, the environment is an exact 180. aizawa is quickly trying to grade the remaining stack of papers he has on his desk so he can leave as soon as he can. there’s papers everywhere, he’s not so sure where the answer key went off to but to hell with the answer key. he just needs to go home.

his hair is messily tied up and his lips have probably been gnawed off by now. as soon as school ended, he got out his phone to see if you replied and sadly you didn’t. he doesn’t blame you though, considering all of the shit he said to you earlier. 

finally writing down the fat score in red pen onto the final paper, he gathers everything and put to the side of his desk and packed up his stuff. his stuff being his yellow sleeping bag and that’s it.

he went to his room first to clean himself up a bit, and then grabbed a taxi to go to your shared apartment. arriving at the front door, he takes out his copy of the key and entered.

first thing he noticed while entering and taking off his shoes was that the apartment was dark and quiet. he made his way to the kitchen first and turned on its lights to check the fridge. in the fridge laid the food you made for him earlier today. he took it out to start heating it up in the microwave then he walks away from the food and to your bedroom.

quietly opening the door, he poked his head in to see you laying on your side with your back facing the door. he assumed you were asleep and gently closed the door to not wake you up. he made his way over to the bed and sat on the edge of it. 

you, feeling the bed dip, slowly opened your eyes to be greeted with the sight of your boyfriend gingerly brushing his fingertips across your cheekbones. he notices that you’re awake and looks up to meet your eyes.

making eye contact with him, you quietly grunted and brought the blanket up to cover your face while turning your entire body to the other side to ignore him. aizawa sighed and brought his hand down to rest on your waist as he begins talking.

“yn... i know you’re.. mad at me for the things i said to you earlier, but i’m truly sorry. i know saying i didn’t mean it isn’t good enough for you to forgive me, but i want you to know i’m really really sorry. i’ve been so busy for the past few days, my head is all over the place, seeing you at school just got me overthinking and worried that i ended up saying things about you that’s not true at all. i love you so much, hun. you’re the best thing to happen to me. you don’t have to forgive me now, i understand if you want some space.”

it was silent for some time after he finished his apology. the echoing silence was slowly making aizawa worried that you’ll leave him, but he won’t tell you that. thinking that you wanted space, he lifted his shaky hand off of your waist and moved to get off of the bed when you suddenly grabbed onto his hand to keep him there.

“i...i told you the day before that i was going to be visiting you during lunch time. did you not remember? or even hear me tell you?”

aizawa situated himself back down onto the bed before replying. “if i’m being honest, i don’t really remember much of that day at all. my brain was occupied with work and rest, so i was practically drained by the end of the night. i’m sorry i took it out on you, it’s my fault for overworking when i know you’ve been trying to help.”

letting out a soft sigh, you turned your body back towards him. still holding onto his hand, you carefully slotted your fingers in between his and pulled him down to lay with you. he immediately found comfort in this and placed his head into your neck. you could feel his facial hair against your skin making you let out a quiet giggle.

“i love you. i know you have a habit to overwork since that’s all you did before we dated, but please shou, take care of yourself. im not talking physically, cuz you’re already so damn fine, but mentally. i hate seeing you bury yourself in work and training that it even makes me tired just watching you.”

he grumbled something against your neck - his usual reaction to you complimenting him - and held onto you tighter while putting light kisses on your collarbone.

“i know. i will. please bear with me, i know i’m a pain but i’ll always try to be my best for you. i’m never letting you go, love you too much for that.”

“hmm? who said i’m going? you’re stuck with me forever just so you know,” you laughed and patted his head before rising from the bed.

“i heard you heating up the food earlier. get up and come eat,” you tugged aizawa to get him off the bed.

he grumbled once again because he was being forced to leave the warm comfort of your shared bed, but followed you out anyway holding onto your hand.

“wait. you heard me entering? so you were pretending to sleep when i got here?! not funny, babe. not funny. -also don’t take sleep for granted. i did and look where that got me. stop laughing!”

bonus:

it was the next day and aizawa just finished passing out the grades he rushed grading yesterday. even though it was rushed, he was confident that there wasn’t any mistakes-

“aizawa sensei, you marked this question wrong when it’s right. this one too. and this other one on the last page. are you trying to fail me?!” denki dramatically wailed as he showed aizawa his papers.

guess he did make mistakes after all.

[1111jenx]

Hello 💕 I hope you don't mind this but what are your red flags and green flags in a potential romantic interest astrology speaking? Feel free not to answer because I know you're really busy, thank you if you ever do Jenx 🥺

Good morning bby🤎

No worries at all haha, I'm trying to start going through my asks again because I feel like I wasn't able to answer as much as I could back in the days:( I'll be more than happy to answer yaaaa. I love your question too it's so fun to think abt haha

However, please do keep in mind that this is 100% subjective and is coming from my pov, please don't give any hate towards any of these placements🥲If theres anything y'all know abt me is how I value inclusiveness<3 Also I'm attracted to men so I'm referring to them as he/him sometimes and they/them here!! Let's begin shall we😋

Hmmm this is harder than it seems haha. But my personal red flag in relationships include:

Too much Water — I have a Water Sun, Moon and Mars with Fire Rising/Venus and I'm the craziest person I've ever met. So I think I need someone with either more Earth or Air to balance me out haha, if not it will just be us two hippies oversharing 24/7 and not being able to acc do anything

Cancer Moon — I ADORE Cancer Moon women. Don't get me wrong. I absolutely adore them. My bestest friend is a Libra Sun Cancer Moon so how can I not fw y'all but it's the straight cis men that I keep attracting for me💀 But only if its Cancer Moon pairing with Leo placements:D Because that Cancer/Leo energy is literally me I don't wanna date someone so similar to me (again) jkkk

Leo Moon — same reason as above. Its like looking into a mirror y'all idk how we gonna work

Scorpio Rising — again. I love the women with this placement and they make me feel so understood and seen. But like. The other 50% of makes that I'm romantically attracted to is scary bro. They do b psycho and my detached ass gets scared so fast

Venus square Mars — 😀😀😀😀 Do I need to explain this one?

Lilith in the 1st/7th house — Been there done that twice. I am good.😀 I have Lilith 7th house myself so meeting another one just brings out the worst in us. Its rly sad lol because we both wanted it to work so bad

Aquarius + Scorpio placements in the same chart — AGAIN THIS APPLIES TO MEN ONLY DEADASS ANOTHER CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE IS A DOUBLE CAP WITH AQUA STELLIUM STRICTLY STRAIGHT MEN OK. they traumatize me lmfao I love their intensity so so bad but I hate that they never fully let me love them. It's so sad bc they acc think no one can actually love them for who they are. Its better for us to stay friends because it can get too draining:D

Venus in Sagittarius — I love them as friends a lot on god. And I admit there's always going to be an invisible link between me and the percentage of people I attract with this placement. But we're not gonna work out. They need someone to ground them. I need someone that grounds me. We just do the craziest shit tgt and no one can stop us hehe but in relationships I'm rly stable and we both value freedom a bit much🥲 I'll change my mind if theres Capricorn placements tho skwowiensn I love them so much

Venus in Libra — all of my guy bestfriends have this and lemme tell you. it aint gonna work baby💀 We're too similar? We compliment one another very well but they're too sweet for me to ever date them. I don't want to lose them as friends and I've seen how they move HAHAHA, my Leo Venus says no thank you, lets do shots together tho!

Now onto the green flags, these are what can make me change my mind haha:

Leo Venus — #selflove baybeeee💕 I never met a guy with this that I didn't click hehe. We're fun and flirty tgt yes but we can talk business real fast.

Capricorn Venus/Moon/anything — my unhealthy addiction. I literally submit to them lmfao like only them and Aqua placements can actually change my mind once its made up.

Aquarius Moon/Venus/Rising/anything — same reason as Cap placements😭 I love y'all so much it hurts but Imma still going to simp

9th, 10th house stellium/placements — this is just a personal favourite don't mind me😋😋

ANY VENUSIAN PLACEMENT EXCEPT FOR LIBRA VENUS — I did yall wrong I'm sorry. But the rest can get my hands in marriage. Make me feel appreciated every step of the way.

Mars in first, Aries placements — the love of my life. Period.

Cancer Rising — the Moon to my Sun. makes me feel @ home and all they wanna do is hold my hands tbh.

Mars conjunct Jupiter — I- I'm not gonna take questions for this one don't ask plz 😀😀

So here are some notes I can think of as of right now!! Please keep in mind this is just my type based off experience and everyones preferences are different 🥳 Also there's a lot more to the person than just their chart loves, lets not missed out on building connections based off someones astrological profile:) If I want something and I deem it right, I'll go for it no matter what🤎

love,

saint jenx🪐

[kaz11283]

ok ok idk if ur still taking request but can i have a drabble or a one shot or anything of loki dealing with/ taking care/ drinking with drunk y/n??? i’m drunk rn and that’s allll i need in life

Babysitter

The party at Starks compound was going off without a hitch, celebrating the man himselfs birthday. The music was to loud, lights flickering everywhere, and laughter bouncing off the walls.

"Come drink with us y/n!" Thor bellowed to you across the bar montioning you to follow him to the group that was sitting around one of the back tables. You flopped down next to Loki and let out a sigh.

"How are you this evening y/n?" He asked moving his leg over slightly so that he wouldnt have to touch you. That was your power, being able to read people minds with a simple touch, nights like tonight all ways set you on edge with to many people bumping, shoving, touching. The whole atmosphere drove you mad most of the time.

"Handling it." You forced a smile looking over at him. "Alcohol helps repress it." You said picking up your drink and giving a silent cheers to the handsome man that had decided to dress in a black dress shirt and dark colored jeans. You threw your head back and took the shot.

"Starting the party stong this evening y/n?" Tony asked raising his eyebrow at you.

"Putting everyone elses thoughts on the back burner for tonight Tony." You said smiling sweetly at him before taking another shot.

"So whos on babysitting duty tonight then?" Bucky laughed looking around the table.

"I'm not that bad-"

"Thor had to pull you off the bar last time before you started stripping." Your face turned bright red as you glanced over to Thor whos face was the same color mounthing out sorry.

"Dont worry I've got her this time." Loki laughted taking a sip of his wine.

"Babysitter." You rolled your eyes again taking a sip of the mixed drink that Nat had put in front of you making sure her hand grazed your.

Loki seems quite excited to be on babysotting duty tonight, you might be in for another private stripping session tonight.

You shot her a look that sent her into a fit of laughs.

"Another round then!" Thor yelled at the bar tender. "We are celebrating the Man of Iron tonight." You sighed slouching back in your chair.

"Relax, darling, I've got you tonight." Loki whispered leaning over to you. "I won't let you make a complete fool of your self."

As the night grew so did your buzz, your cheeks were getting warmer, and the dress you had on now started feeling constricting. You started pulling at the bottom and then neck.

"Your fidgeting darling." Loki said placing his hand on your leg causing you to jump.

"My dress is to tight. I just need to get up for a second." You said standing to walk over to the bar.

"Dress to tight?" Steve asked looking over at Loki.

"She had to get up for a moment." At that moment there was whistling coming from the dance floor.

"Umm, babysitter." Tony said pointing behind Loki. As he turned around he noticed that you had already started to pull the dress up more than you should have. Loki jumped up running toward you.

"Y/n, what are you doing?" He said grabbing your hands causing your dress to fall back down.

"Lok, I'm hot. So freaking hot. This dress, its to tight. I need it off." You said trying to shake him off.

"Come on then, lets get you out of here." He said pulling you out the door. You bumped into a man standing near the door.

Wish she would have finished. He doesnt deserve to be able to see all that undressed.

You stopped suddenly looking at the man before raring back and punching him in the face. "I dont think its any of your concern who sees me like that." Loki stopped and stared at you before escourting you out of the crowed room.

"Asshole." You huffed behind him. He was able to lead you to the floor where his room was. "You could have just taken me back to my room so that you could go back." You sighed flopping down on his bed. The buzz had slowly started wearing off but the room was still spinning.

"Its ok y/n. Besides if I'm taking care of you then I cant go back to that overrated party then can I?" He laughed sitting next to you.

"I get so tired of being able to hear what people are thinking. It is literally exhausting. Trying to find somewhere to sit thats not to close to someone. Especially one of the guys, all of yall are perverts. Course the girls are just as bad most of the time." You put your head in your hands tearing up. Nope, the drunk still wasnt over.

"The power that you have makes you you y/n. If you didnt have that power you wouldnt be here with your friends."

"Yeah friends that I can hug because im afraid that I might hear something that I shouldn't. I made that mistake once. I hugged Steve not even thinking and he was thinking about Nat. Like thinking about something that no one but those two should know about. After that I just stopped touching everyone. Do you know how bad that sucks?"

"Ah, touch starved." He said laughing. "May I try something?"

"Its no use, everyone tells me they can shut it all off but theres always something on their minds." You shrug.

"Give me your hand." He saod placing his hand out palm up. You begrudgingly put your hand in his causing him to smile. "Well?"

"I think im about to be sick." You said jumping up and running to his bathroom silently thanking Tony for sticking with one layout for every room.

"Oh dear." Loki said following you in there and grabbing ahold of your hair that had fallen. "I think you will live." He helped you sit on the side of the bathtub as he got a clean rag for you to whip your face.

"I'm sorry you got stuck with me tonight." You whispered closing your eyes.

"Stop that nonsense. I volunteered for it. I knew what was coming." He laughed as he walked out to his room to get you a clean shirt. "Now tell me. Did you hear anything when I touched you?"

"Actually no, I didnt even realize it when you was pulling me from the party." You said putting the shirt next to you. "How?"

"I can 'turn it off' if that makes any sense. Telepathic people drive me insane. Always trying to figure out what your thinking. I learned at a young age how to block stuff like that out. Wanda tends to be the worlds worst."

"Its nice. The quiet. I havent had that, ever." You leand your head aginst the cool wall closing your eyes.

"Hey, no no no. Lets get you changed and laid down in bed before you pass out." He pulled you to your feet and looked at you. "Do you need assistance?"

You laughted as him. "No. Its fine ive got this." You pulled your dress off and pulled his on before walking out and flopping down on his bed.

"Do you mind holding my hand? Its nice not having to worry about what i might hear." Loki laid down beside you and placed his hand in yours.

"If you ever need some quiet time you are more than welcome to come find me." He sais placing a kiss to your temple before you fell asleep.

Thank you so MUCH for the request! I hope you like it. I had one, erased it and restarted so thats what took took me so long to write this one. If you have any more please feel free to send them in!

Tag List:

@high-functioning-lokipath

@serpentargo

@drbaureid

@poetic-fiasco

@kgirardin

@sophlubbwriting

@supbeeches

@rosaline-black

@jesuswasnotawhiteman

@natandersonnla

@delightfulheartdream

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

hey so i have a kind of issue ive been pondering over for a while. i currently identify as a trans man, but for a while i thought i might be genderfluid and identified the two possible "genders" i switched between. i gave them names, ill call them s and k here. s was my more feminine gender, i used to describe them as my "girl" gender but now it makes me kind of uncomfortable identifying even partly as a girl. for a while, s used he/she/it pronouns. k uses he/him pronouns and is strictly masculine presenting. sometimes, i will feel like a mix of both "genders" and to be honest, it confuses me because more often than not they feel very distinct and separate, but weirdly similar at the same time? because, well, i usually think theyre both still me. but recently ive been wondering if they really are both me? if that makes any sense at all. because ive been thinking that the two "genders" might not be genders at all but instead like, separate personalities? because my interests change sometimes slightly and sometimes drastically when my "gender" changes, or sometimes i feel conflicted on what i *should* be interested in, if that makes sense? like both hypothetical interests are there, sure, but i feel confused on which one im supposed to like at the moment. and now that im really thinking about this, and typing it out, i have a feeling i might have some kind of plurality?? but im also scared that im getting way ahead of myself and jumping to conclusions, because the "genders" or "personalities" or whatever they are, people maybe, arent always so clearly distinct from one another? because i feel like if they are separate personalities than they both come from a singular base personality maybe? and theres also the issue that if they are two separate personalities or people, than I don't know which one is the real me.

sorry if this was like, really confusing. i just would really like some input on what you think this could be. if its not too much trouble, i hope this could be answered quickly because it's something thats really bothering me but if thats too much stress or whatnot, like you have other asks to get to first, than i totally understand and no pressure! thank you in advance

Hi anon,

It's fairly possible that you could be plural given the experiences you described. It's common for people who don't realize they are systems to experience their plurality in terms of shifting their gender, name, and pronouns, as well as their interests, likes, and dislikes. It's possible that the shifts could be different parts fronting, and it's also possible that the blending between them could be chalked up to blurriness or being cocon. It's understandable that the idea you may be plural could be causing some unease or uncertainty, even as to who you are personally, and please know that you're not alone.

However, as a nonprofessional and as someone who doesn't know you personally, it's not my place to say for certain whether or not you are plural. This could be something to explore further with the guidance or mediation of a mental health professional such as a therapist, ideally one who specializes in dissociative disorders and/or LGBT+ experiences. A therapist, especially one with these concentrations, could help you figure out whether this is to do with gender or if there's something more going on.

Please know that it's okay to explore your identity and discover who you truly are. Identity is a complex and personal journey, it can often fluctuate, and it can take time to understand ourselves fully. Remember to practice self-care, being gentle and patient with yourself along the way. You deserve the space and time to embrace and understand all parts of yourself.

Best of luck in getting to the bottom of this. If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

[fwkei]

Remember...?

Draken x fem!reader (mainly fluff slight angst)

Finally got my first request yall 🥳 I couldn’t strictly follow the request like i wanted to but i hope thats alright, the gist is still there. anyways thank you sm for it and i hope you enjoy 

TW/CW: Mentions of sex, mentions of alcohol, mentions of sex work

WC: 7k (omg the most ive ever written🙆🏻‍♀️)

Note: I changed my writing style a bit for this request so i hope yall don’t mind! and again i dont read my stuff over so my apologies if theres any mistakes lmao

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You sat on the street, overheating as you watched the ‘heat waves’ coming off the ground. You held your hair up with one of your hands since you had nothing to tie it with, while the other held a lukewarm water bottle. You sighed, you felt so anxious and frustrated.

What now?  

You thought letting your mouth part due to your heavy breathing 

You took things too fast. It had been about 3 weeks since you left your parents ‘home’ and why did you leave? Well there were a number of reasons that are a bit too much to list, but all that matters now is that you’re completely and utterly on your own. 

You only managed to scavenge small jobs here and there to get some money to buy some basic necessities but nothing more. 

“Sorry Y/n, my niece is coming down to Tokyo and I told her she could have a job here and stay at the studio above...I’m gonna have to let go. I’m sorry.” said your boss to you only a couple hours ago, with pity filled eyes 

“...No it’s fine really! I understand.Thank you for taking me in while you could.” you said bowing your head at the man, biting your inner cheek trying to keep a level head 

“I’m happy you understand. You can leave your apron and hat on the cashier. On your way out.” he said patting your shoulder as you slowly brought your head up 

“Right..” you said taking off your apron and hat as you walked slowly to the cashier, placing it down 

You brought your hands to your temples out of stress, trying to figure out what you could do now. You only had very little money, and there was a heat wave striking Japan this week. At least your boss allowed you to live and pay rent in the small studio right above his store, which had an AC, but now that was for his niece.  

This had been the first time in a while where you had no idea what to do. You had always been the type of person to be able to take care of yourself and your problems..on your own. All your life since you can remember, you always had to be the one to take care of others, not that you mind or minded...but you were only so young. You never really had a childhood, at least not that you can remember. You do remember cleaning up after your parents who lost all will just to even... parent. You remember taking jobs as a babysitter at a really young age in your apartment complex to make some money.. You remember being the reliable older kid of your school and complex, where kids would come to you asking for help with things like homework all the way to buying something for them to eat because they were hungry. Not once did you ever say no, because you really did want to be there for those kids who’s parents didn’t give them the care they needed. But it just became too much.. You ended up spending all of your saved up money on them, just so they could have something to play with or something to eat. 

Before you even realized it, you were in your last year of high school, with no money saved over, no scholarships, no one to rely on but yourself. Not even a friend. Was it really the right thing to do? Use all your money that you worked so hard for to help kids he lived next door? Or just plain stupid? You knew you couldn't support them forever...but you tried so hard to. All you wanted was to give them a childhood they never had, and someone to look up too. But now you left them. All because you were frustrated. You felt so unbearably guilty. All the work you put into your studies to get at least some type of scholarship just went to waste because you couldn't handle your life anymore. You were being so so so stupid. 

Before you even knew it, the sun was going down, and you grew even more tired and sleepy. You signed, taking a jacket out of your bag and placing it on the ground so you could rest your head on it. You brought your hands to cushion your cheek as your eyes started to close. The air finally got a little cooler making it easier to breathe and well...do anything. 

As you were falling asleep you could hear chatter and laughing, and finally a tap on your shoulder waking you up. You cringed your eyes before opening them up more to see 2 women. One had blonde hair and the other had pinkish hair. They looked older than you, maybe in their 20’s. One held a bag and the other held a bottle of wine with two glasses, they bent down so their heads could be closer to yours. After examining you for a bit they turned to each other and smiled happily before turning back their gaze to your confused face. 

“Hey?” you said sitting up more, a little startled by the intimate contact they were giving you 

“Hey there, say...what’s a pretty girl like you sleeping on the street for?” asked the girl with pinkish hair that was tied into pigtails 

“I uh..don’t have a place right now so..” you said scratching your head 

“Really? Hmmm.” said he one with blonde hair 

“How old are you? And what’s your name? I think we can help you out! Woman to woman!” said the pink haired girl smiling sweetly making you feel fuzzy at their niceness 

“18, and it’s Y/n.” you said smiling nervously 

“Nice to meet you Y/n, I’m Remi, this is Rema, my twin sister.” said the pink haired girl pointing to the blonde as she waved sweetly 

“Hi, it’s nice to meet you too..!” you said bringing your hands to your thighs smiling 

“So did you just turn 18?” asked Rema 

“Sorta, 2 months ago, why?” you asked 

“Oh good!” they both said 

“Well, it’s your choice really. One of the girls left today, and the boss sent us to scout another girl to take her place, buttt we just went to buy food with no intentions of finding someone but luckily we just found you! It’s perfect!” said Remi 

“Oh? What work?” you asked getting excited 

“Oh silly, we live in a brothel! It’s really not all that bad you know, great pay and rooms...so what do you think?” asked Rema 

“A brothel..” you said under your breath 

Your mind was in a serious state of concentration. 

It can’t be all that bad, right? You just have to please people and go on with your day so… that’s what i've been doing my whole life… plus… there's a bunch of women in those things right? I probably won't get too much attention from customers if there's sweethearts like Remi and Rema walking around...so...just for the time being… I think it could really work out in my favor. 

You thought to yourself 

You brought your head up, giving the girls a closed eyes smile before shaking your head ‘yes’ making them jump in excitement. 

“Oh good!” yelled Remi grabbing your hands 

“I’m so excited! We haven't had a new girl in years! How do you think Ken will react?” asked Rema smiling as you 3 all started to walk 

“Ken?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows at the familiar name 

“Oh right, We’ll have to introduce you to him and everyone else tomorrow. He’s the bosses foster kid..I think you two are actually the same age.” said Rema bringing her pointer finger to her chin 

“Mhm mhm! Oh and since you're new, tomorrow I will take your pictures for the board, you can borrow one of my sets till you can afford to buy one for yourself, how does that sound Y/n?” asked Remi smiling and holding your hand 

“It sounds..great! Thank you so much.” you said bowing your head slightly 

“No worries! Hopefully the boss will take you in.” said Remi patting your head 

“Yeah..” you said as you 3 continued to walk to the brothel 

You couldn't seem to get your mind off of that familiar name..Ken? You swore you knew someone named that. It definitely wasn't a popular name so it’s not like you knew it from some type of T.V program.. After thinking hard your whole way to your new home you couldn't seem to remember them. The person named Ken. And so you decided to brush it off for the time being. 

The brothel was pretty big, and consisted of 12 girls, not including yourself. It was really late so everyone was asleep. Remi and Rema showed you to your room which was much more spacious than your room at home. They told you that you were allowed to decorate it and style it however you wanted. But they told you it was important to know that this was the room where business would be done, and not to leave important things around since some of the men came into brothels for the sole purpose of stealing. Remi even told you a story about how one of her clients tried to steal one of her panites, but then the boy named Ken stopped him by knocking him out with one punch to the stomach.   

“He sounds strong-” you laughed as they gave you a small tour 

“He sure is! Like the bodyguard of this place! He’s a sweetheart!” said Remi smiling 

“I’m sure..!” you smiled 

“Alright that’s about it, you should shower now and get ready for tomorrow. The boss will probably wanna take a look at you before seeing if he wants you. But I'm sure he will! You're pretty so it’ll go smoothly!” said Remi handing you her shower stuff for you to use for tonight and a set 

“Got it, and again...thank you so much. I really appreciate it.” you said again 

“Of course! Remember..we’re neighbors so feel free to knock whenever you need something..Also I can give you some tips before your first client so you know what to do.” she said smiling 

“Right, goodnight then!..” you said feeling your face get hot at how she so easily talked about sex. 

After that, you did exactly as she said, you showered. You thoroughly washed your body, face, and hair. Getting out you looked down at the set Remi gave you. It was just a black bra and matching panties with a silk cover up which made you feel better knowing you could cover up with that.  

You rubbed your mouth as you started to rethink your decision. I mean...you respected sex workers..but was this life what you were willing to settle for? Aimlessly waiting around for some random horny man to choose you and do things with you just for you to get only 40% of the payment? Was this all really worth it? Leaving home to avoid your problems...to end up here? You were grateful, yes, Remi and Rema were so sweet and open with you. You could only hope that the others were just as nice. You really wanted things to go well, and that can only start with some good rest. 

You woke up to a knock on your door, to see Remi and Rema walking in with a smile 

“Morninggg!” they sang as you quickly got out of bed 

“Hi!” you said frantically 

“No need to rush! Usually men start coming in at 10, but since you don't work here officially yet you got to sleep in a bit! But the boss called for you, you should go to the set up room down the hall to get ready, remember it?” asked Rema 

“Yeah I do. Thank you for waking me-!” you said smiling and grabbing your stuff and shoes 

“Course, good luck Y/n!” they said as you quickly walked out of your room to get ready 

As you walked in, there were a few other girls getting ready. You smiled and introduced yourself to them, and them to you. They were all so nice and pretty. It made you feel a little bit better about being here, and less nervous since they complimented your looks. You got ready in about 10 minutes, letting one of the other girls help you out with your hair and stuff like that. You gave yourself one last look in the mirror before stepping out and waving to the girls ‘bye.’ 

You nervously walked to the boss's door. You took a deep breath before knocking. You heard a muffled ‘come in!’ so you walked in smiling while holding your covering close. You gave a nervous closed eyes smile before seeing his office was simple, just a desk with a bunch of papers and a chair on the other side. 

“Y/n, correct?” he asked placing down his paper and taking off his glasses to look at you

“Yes.” you said smiling 

“Pleasure-” he said leaning over the desk to shake your hand 

“Likewise.” you said smiling, shaking his hand firmly before sitting down

“Well, I’m sure Remi and Rema told you just about everything you need to know, I take 60% of your earrings, I use that stuff to pay for rent and bills for you girls and my kid… which usually takes up about 30% of that 60%, meaning you make a profit of 40, while I make only a profit of 30 per girl.” he said 

“Yeah, I was told.” you said smiling nervously fiddling with your hands

“Good good, now that that's over with..” he said getting up ad signing 

“I’m just gonna take a look at you, no need to be nervous I’m not gonna touch you or anything, so please don’t feel worried.” he said smiling 

“Right!” you said getting up 

“Alright just do a quick 360 with arms up.” he said smiling 

“Okay.” you said doing as he said 

He looked you up and down but not in a lustful way at all, it was more of like a ‘just seeing how you’ll hold up’ kinda look, almost like he was a bit worried for you. 

“Thank you-” he said sitting back down as you did the same feeling nervous

“I was also told you’re 18? Right?” he asked looking down at his papers 

“Yeah that's right.” you said 

“Well I don't usually have this talk with the other woman because they're older. I know the age of consent in Japan is 16 and blah blah, but you’re still pretty young, are you sure you wanna work like this?” he asked looked into your eyes 

“...Not entirely but it’s the best I can do right now.” you said with a determined face

“I see- we’ll then welcome, and just remember you can leave whenever you want, but give a 2 weeks notice. When Remi is done, ask her to take your picture.” he said 

“Understood, thank you!” you said said smiling and leaving   

You walked out of the room, closing the door carefully signing in relieve 

That went pretty well.

You thought 

You started to walk down the hall so that you could ask Remi to take your picture. But when you put your ear to the door, you heard lewd noises letting you know she wasn’t done just yet. It was already 5, and the brothel closes at 10. You didn’t really know what to do, so you walked over to the kitchen, sitting down at one of the stools waiting for Remi and or Rema to finish up with their work. You tapped the pen that was on the table and started to look around the kitchen. You remembered Remi told you there were snacks in the cabinets, so you got up and started to open and close them one by one to find something to eat. You finally found a cabinet filled instant ramen, you grabbed one and started to pour water into it, popping it into the microwave that was on the counter top. You stood in front of it waiting, playing with the loose strings of you covering when suddenly you heard the door open. 

“I’m home.” said the tall boy with dark hair tied back to reveal a dragon tattoo on the side of his head 

Is this Ken? 

You thought as the microwave beeped, making his eyes turn to you

You quickly shot your eyes to the microwave, hoping he didn’t notice your stare. He looked so familiar it was almost irritating how you couldn’t remember him. You took the hot cup out of the microwave, placing it down on the counter top, ignoring his presence as he walked over, placing down the plastic bag in his hand, noticing your frustrated face trying to figure out where the utensils are. 

“Left of the sink are where they are.” he said sitting down on the stool across from you after looking at your face a bit 

“Thank you.” you said smiling nervously turning around to grab a pair of chopsticks 

“Are you new here?” he asked taking out a styrofoam box from the plastic bag, opening it to reveal a hot meal of meat and rice and vegetables 

“Yeah..I was supposed to start today but I don’t have my pictures taken yet.” you said smiling turning back to mix your noodles 

“Could you grab me a pair too?” he asked realizing he forgot to take a pair of chopsticks from the restaurant 

“Sure-” you said turning back quickly to grab some for him, placing it in his hands as he gave you a soft smile making your eyes widen slightly. 

“You look familiar..” you both said at the same time making both your eyebrows raise in shock then turn into a slight scoff from the both of you 

“Glad we’re on the same page then.” he said taking a bite of his food as you did the same still standing 

“You know you can sit down, don’t feel nervous.” he said looking up you slightly 

“..yeah.” you said smiling, walking around and sitting next to him. 

“So when’d you come?” he asked turning his head slightly to see your mouth filled with noodles making him smile a bit 

“..I came by last night, really late with Remi and Rema.” you said after finishing your bite

“I see...I feel like I remember you from somewhere, can’t pinpoint it though.” he said looking back down at his food 

“Same here, and you must be Ken though, right? When I first heard your name I swore the same thing but I just can’t remember..” you said before sipping some of the broth of your soup

“Yeah, but you can call me Draken and your name?” he asked getting up to grab a napkin from across the table 

“Draken...sure! Oh right, my bad. It’s Y/n. Nice to meet you-” you said smiling holding your hand out for him to shake

He only completely shot up to look into your eyes with his wide ones. You gave him a confused look as you watched him get knocked out of his thoughts, bring his hand up to shake your hand before clearing his throat and walking back over to sit. Maybe you struck a nerve? Maybe had the same name as someone who hurt him in the past? You really didn’t know but it made you feel interested. He looked like he just had his life flash before his eyes or something. 

“Are you okay?” you asked 

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. My head just hurts a bit.” he said looking as if he was deep in thought 

“Oh? I have some tylenol in my room.. You want one? Or I can make you a cold drink, you’re probably dehydrated?” you asked smiling a bit 

Draken turned his head to look at you, his mouth was parted, and he just looked so..anxious? You couldn’t even tell, almost like congested because he wanted to say something. 

Draken felt his heartbeat quicken when he heard your name. As soon as you said it, a random memory that was buried deep in the back of his mind hit him as he quickly re-lived it. But could it really be you? The Y/n he knew from so so so long ago? Around 10 years ago? There could be no way, he remembers the girl moving to a different city..the chances were so low that it could really be you already. 

But the second you said those words.. Those words of offering to make something for him, or give him something, despite you thinking you only just met him...Made him know that it was really the Y/n he met when he was only a little boy...but how the hell did you turn up here? In a place and part of town like this? He was so confused and just wanted to ask you...but you still didn’t remember him. 

“..No I’m alright, thanks..can I ask you somethin-” said Draken before being interrupted 

“Y/n!! Come on, let's take your pictures!” yelled Remi coming out of her room waving as a man walked out too buttoning his shirt 

“Sorry, just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later.” you said smiling and standing up and walking over to Remi

Draken watched you as you walked away. He saw Remi give you a hug, and the man that was walking out checked you out to which Draken gave him a pissed off look. Making the man smile nervously, wave, and leave. 

Do you really wanna live your life like this, Y/n?

He thought to himself before packing up his trash and throwing it away

Remi took your pictures, telling you to do different poses etc, and you finally settled on one. You walked over to the front of the house to place your picture in its designated area above your name. You signed, stepping back to look at it, fixing your gaze to see Draken was walking over with his hands in his pocket, looking as he was going to leave. You saw him glance at the photo making you feel slightly embarrassed.

“Nice.” he said smiling but looking into your eyes in a way where it looked like he was concerned for you. 

Just as you were about to thank him a man walked in and started looking at you making you feel nervous. The man requested you, and so you smiled at him pointing your hand to where the showers were, as you started to walk behind him, you turned your hand giving a thumbs up to Draken with a nervously flushed face, smiling, as he he brought his hand up giving you a thumbs up with soft and concerning eyes before opening the door and leaving. It made your smile fade slightly, you’ve seen that face before from him. But not from today.. And it was all you could think about during your work. 

As you laid in your room, after work you couldn’t help but feel a little bit...stupid? You felt so unsatisfied, not because of your customers but because you just couldn’t remember. It felt like an itch you couldn’t scratch hard enough, and with every interaction you had with the boy almost felt like a tease, like the itch just became more itchy and your scratches just became more weak. Maybe if you spend more time with him, you’ll remember? 

It had been about 4 weeks, 4 weeks of saving your money, and every 4 weeks the boss collected his fair share of the cut. It wasn’t a pretty 4 weeks, it was probably the worst 4 weeks of your life. But... you and Draken would often exchange stories about your lives late at night which you enjoyed a lot. It always makes you feel better. But yet again you still couldn't figure him out. You felt as though you’ve met him before, and as though you two have had these kinds of talks before. 

Draken only grew more and more helpless, seeing how you still haven’t remembered. He was slowly watching your life crumble. He felt so angry that you settled and believed you deserved to live like this, barely scraping by. He felt so awful, and saw how you grew so tired of it all. He just so badly wanted you to remember him, so that he could once again talk to you like he did before.

You had one last customer before closing, going through your usual routine, this n that, the man offered you a drink. You stupid obliged drinking it, hoping it would make your time more enjoyable but you were wrong, so very wrong, and so very stupid for drinking that stupid drink. You remember some parts, you did your job, then it all went black.. You woke up after hearing knocking on your door. You jumped out of bed, confused. You remember seeing the man leave as you started to fall asleep but that's about it. Usually you never fall asleep after the work because you never do much, your mind started to panic. But the door opened revealing Remi smiling.

“Hey sleepy! Boss says it’s your turn, come on, get your cash!” she said smiling 

“Right let me just..it’s in my drawer..I don't know why I fell asleep so fast I think alcohol makes me sleepy.” you said getting out of bed and kneeling in front of your drawer to get the envelope of cash you had been saving.

“Heh, same here. I never accepted drinks from clients..they never had good intentions with that!” she said coming over and sitting at your bed 

“..yeah.” you said starting to feel that panic arise in your body when seeing the envelope was...gone.

“What's wrong?” asked Remi noticing you were frozen 

“I- the money..It’s gone..he took it..” you said with wide eyes feeling as though you were about to sob realizing you had just lost thousands of yen.

“Don’t say that..it..it probably just got misplaced! Come on, I'll help you look!” said Remi getting up  

You couldn't even respond because of the amount of panic you were in. Your heart was racing and you felt tears fall from your eyes. After about 15 minutes of looking, you two found nothing. Absolutely nothing. You sat on the floor with your hand over your mouth, again, trying to keep a level head. 

What now..?

You thought to yourself feeling hot tears stream from your face.

“Hey..guys? Boss is calling for you Y/n..what’s going on?” asked Rema walking in seeing you covering your face, crying 

“She was robbed by the guy who just left, he put something in her drink to knock her out while he looked around and took the money...she doesn’t have the money.” said Remi 

Rema’s mouth parted in shock and pity. 

How could you mess up something so easy? All you had to do was keep your money safe. But you even failed at that. 

“You have to tell him, Y/n.” said Rema rubbing your back

“Yea..yeah, could you two just give me a second? I’ll be right out.” you said smiling while wiping your face 

“Sure.” they said frowning and walking out 

You fisted your hands, and grabbed your covers before screaming into them to muffle your sounds..

Okay..it was a couple of thousand yen...not too bad right? I can promise the money by tomorrow..I’ll pick up some sort of street job...yeah! That’s good. Everything is fine..it’s fine.

You thought to yourself before wiping your face on more time and slapping both sides of your cheeks to wake you up.

You got up and walked to the bosses door feeling the eyes of people on your back. You knocked on the door before opening it slowly, refusing to make eye contact as you went to stand in front of the man with your arms behind your back.

“Alrighttt, let’s see here, in the last four weeks you had a total of 37 customers, so you should have around 300,000 yen, correct?” he asked looking at his paper 

“Yes.” you said still looking down

“Alright, just hand it to me so I can count and divide it, you can sit.” he said smiling holding his hand out 

“I..I don-” you said before being interrupted by a knock 

“Come in.” he said 

“Hey sorry dad, Y/n left her money with me while she went out. Thought I should bring it to her. Remember, Y/n?” said Draken walking in with an envelop in his hand smiling as he came to stand next to you, as you nodded your head ‘yes’ 

“Oh, thank you Ken.” he said smiling and taking the envelop 

Your mouth parted as you gave a confused look, Draken only smiled and gave you a thumbs up while his dad counted the money. You felt so guilty and shocked, and all you could do was just stand there, like an idiot. 

“Here you are...120,000 back..” he said, patting the money on the table to make it flat, putting it back into the envelope and handing it to you

You hesitantly brought your hand to grab it, glancing over at Draken who gave you small smile

“Thank you-” you said to him seeing Draken was already opening the door to leave 

You quickly followed after him as he walked into his room. Before entering his room he turned around and looked down at you 

You felt your eyes soften as you felt as though you were about to cry again, you tilted your head and neck down biting the inside of your cheek to keep in your cry. 

“I promise I’ll pay all of it back by tomorrow, all 300,000.” you said 

“Do you ever give yourself a break?” he asked as you brought your head up to look at him seeing he looked almost irritated 

“You didn’t even ask why I did it, you just immediately jumped to feeling guilty. And you don’t need to pay me back. Really.” he said bringing his hand to close to the door, but you stopped him by grabbing his wrist making his breath hitch 

“Why?” you asked looking into his eyes 

“You still don’t remember? Even after all this time we’ve spent together?” he asked smiling as you took your hand off his wrist 

“Remember...?” you asked furrowing your eyebrows in confusion, but then it suddenly hit you

“I swear it wasn’t me! I didn't steal!” yelled a little boy with blonde hair as two cops stood in front of him 

You tilted your head and walked closer, but still keeping your distance to hear. It was a winter day and you were on your way to the corner store to buy some snacks, but you were met with an interesting scene. You kept your hands in your pockets as you listened over to the boy screaming and pleading his innocence 

“I wouldn’t steal something so stupid! What would a kid like me need a lighter for!! I don’t know how it ended up in my pocket! Lay off!” he yelled as the officer dangled the lighter in front of his face

A lighter?

“Keep it down! We know how troubled you kids are here! Especially with those tattoos!” yelled back the cop as the boy grew angry and fisted his hands, ready to punch the cop

“Hey!!!” he heard a voice yelled 

“Hey wait a minute!” you yelled waving your hand smiling as you ran to the scene 

“Can we help you?” asked one of the cops in a soft tone 

The blonde boy grew quiet, and you saw his hands loosen as he looked at your smiling face 

“Yeah, why are you two yelling at my brother?” you asked furrowing your brows at the two grown man 

“...Your so-called brother stole a lighter from the corner store right behind you, where are your parents? We would like to have a word with them.” he said standing up straight 

“Yeah, and talk about how they let their son tattoo himself already..” said one under his breath making the other laugh 

You looked over at the boy growing angry, you gave him a smile..making him calm down.

“He said it was just an accident, I asked him to pick up a lighter from the store so that we could light a candle at our father’s grave! See!” you said digging into your bag to pull out a candle 

“He probably felt pressured because I asked him to get it, so if you’re gonna get mad at someone, get mad at me!” you said as you started to fake cry 

“It’s our father's death anniversary, and you're yelling at kids for making a mistake.” you faked cried

“Yeah!!” yelled the boy making you smile under your hands as the two officers became anxious, feeling bad for what they had just done.

“..we’re sorry. Please let us apologize.” they said slightly bowing at you two 

“I don’t think we can accept it...you two also made fun of the dragon tattoo on his head!...dragons were our dads favorite animal. He risked his life fighting for Japan and you two are laughing at him! Is that how your mother taught you how to behave?” you asked pretending to wipe you tears as the blonde boy watched you in awe seeing you toy with grown men 

“Please let us treat you both to whatever you’d like from the corner store as an apology!” they both said bowing lower making you smile and look back at the boy. You gave him a thumbs up as a smile grew on his face 

“Fine..come on then?” you said as both the officers raised their heads, opening the doors of the corner store for you both 

You and the blonde boy walked around the store, filling your baskets with all types of things. The blonde boy watched you in just pure awe as you walked around picking your favorite snacks, as he did the same, glancing at you every now and then. 

“Here.” you said smiling at the cops 

“Right!” they said frantically taking out their wallets as the boy placed down his stuff nervously, still watching you

“Oh and-” you said reaching your hand to grab the lighter from the officer and placing it into the bunch of snacks 

You smiled, your hands were behind your back as you watched the officers pay for yours and the boys' food, placing them into bags for you guys too. You grabbed the lighter and your bag, as the boy did the same 

“Mom told us to meet her at the cemetery steps, remember?” you said looking into the boys eyes

“..yeah, I remember.” he said smiling feeling his face become hot 

“Let’s go then.” you said smiling and taking his hand as you two ran out of the store 

After a bit you two stopped and sat on the curbside while you both chose a snack to eat.  

“Here’s your lighter, you don’t have to stay with me by the way.” you said handing him the steel lighter 

“..Thanks” he said 

“Sure- what do you need it for anyway?” you asked smiling 

“My boss asked for it.” he said putting it in his pocket

“Oh, are you in some type of delinquent group?” you asked looking at him 

“Yeah..” he said smiling 

“That's cool, what do you guys do?” you asked taking a sip of your drink 

“We kinda just...like...do stupid stuff and fight..” he said 

“Sounds fun, but...stupid.” you said laughing making him scoff 

“Why’d you do it?” he asked 

“Do what?” you asked back turning you gaze to him 

“Come in to cover me. You could’ve gotten in a lot of trouble because of me.” he said with a frustrated face 

“You’re right, I just wanted to, that's all.” you said smiling making his mouth part and cheeks redden

“You seem pretty fun too so I thought we could be friends or something..” you said nervously 

“Yeah! Sure- We can be friends!” he said happily making you feel flustered 

“Well then, it’s nice to meet you, my name is Y/n, yours?” you asked holding over your hand 

“Ken, but you can call me Draken-” he said taking ahold of your hand gently as you gave him a closed eyed smile blushing 

“where the hell did you find that candle and com up with that whole sob story Y/n?”

“Dunno, I saw the candle on the ground by a newspaper, I kinda just winged it- “

After that day you remember hanging out with Draken almost every other day. You remember him telling you how he and his close friends started their own gang and needed some sort of funding, and so you gave it to him, on his birthday.

“I saved up! You said that you and your friends needed some money to start off so that you guys could buy a flag or banner? Right? Well, here’s 30,000 yen for your birthday!” you said handing him an envelope and a small balloon.

“Are-are you serious right now Y/n?” he asked taking the gifts, opening the envelope to look inside to see the money as his eyes lit up 

“Yeah, I babysit more kids now so I was able to put some aside for you.” you said smiling satisfied with his reaction 

He didn’t even say anything, all he did was bring his arms around you upper body, hugging you tight making you laugh as you brought yours to hug him back 

“Thank you- you’re the best! The guys will be so happy!” he said smiling while grasping your wrists in excitement. Your eyes traced over his face as they soften. You smiled. 

“Likewise.” 

And- after that, you remember the day you 2 separated as friends. You both sat on the curbside, you remembered you called him to come and see you. It was a winter night and the sun was going down. 

“I uh..well I don’t really know how to say this without sounding cliche but-”

“What? Are you gonna confess that you’re madly in love with me or something?” he asked grinning, making you sweat drop 

“Jeez be quiet...I’m trying to make this a memorable moment-” you signed smiling, placing your palms on the cold cement 

“Alright let’s hear it then Y/n-!” he said bringing his hands to the back of his head as he laid down looking up at the stars 

You only frowned slightly, you shifted your position so that you could sit beside him and have a good look at his face. 

“You’re scaring me..” he said jokingly making you smile 

“It was really fun the past year.” you said smiling as Draken shot his head up to look at you face to face 

“The hell are you talking like that for?” he asked furrowing his brows 

“My parents can’t afford living in any districts in Tokyo anymore, so we’re moving to another city… about 4 hours train ride from Tokyo so-” you said looking down at your hands on the floor

“So? You act like I won't be able to come and see you or you come and see me..” he said ducking his head a bit so that you could look at him 

“Draken, train tickets are about 220 yen per person, I can't afford it, and if you came by to see me I'd feel guilty because you’d be wasting your money just to only see me for like an hour.” you said 

“How can I be wasting my money on you? It’s not wasting if I wanna do it and see you, plus what makes you think it'll only be a couple hours?” he asked 

“I’ll have to start working once we get there, so I wouldn’t have anytime...I wanna start saving so that one day I can come back to Tokyo and live here, so that I can see your dream come true of helping your friend create a ‘new era of delinquents’ you know? I’ll even help you guys if you want with financial stuff or something.” you said smiling at him 

Draken bit the inside of his cheek. He wanted to tell you so bad how he felt but..

“Look, I have a feeling I know what you’re gonna say..just remember what you wanted to say and tell me later, okay?” you said placing your hand on top of his causing his eyes to widen 

“...You’ll remember me, right?” he asked looking into your eyes deeply making your mouth part 

“Yeah, I’ll remember you as long as you remember what you wanted to tell me. Cause I feel the same” you said smiling as a tear fell from your eyes 

“good...I will.” he said smiling back and tilting his head and wiping it off your face

After the memories hit you, you stood there with wide eyes and tears, with your wrist covering your quivering mouth. You had completely suppressed your memories of Draken, and your feelings because you knew you wouldn't be able handle being apart from him for so long. And he did the same. You couldn’t imagine how unbearable it was for him to be waiting up like this. You looked up at him seeing his eyes were softly looking at you. You could do nothing but bring your arms around him hugging him, as he brought his arms around you to do the same. You were still such in shock. 

“I never thought you’d end up in a place like this, living a life like this.” he said against your ear 

“I don’t wanna see you like this, please let me take care of you like you did for me..” he said said tightening his grip slightly  

You could only cry at his words, you didn’t even wanna try to speak because you knew it would only come out as a sob. Was it really alright for you to rely on someone so much?

He pulled back from the hug and looked at your face, seeing you were still crying as you nodded your head ‘yes’, he smiled and wiped them away with his thumb. The smile on his face...he looked so satisfied...and happy...happy that you finally remembered. Finally remembered him.

[alreadyblondenow]

What happened on Valentines day?

▸ Mark x female!reader ▸ 1,685k words ▸ Smut, Fluff ▸ Met on a dating app, one night stand, unprotected sex, mentions of rough sex, mentions of bruises, biting, Mark bites you ▸ Requested. I’m not taking requests but here it is. Also uploaded this using my phone so theres no read more for now and next button hehe

For Valentine's day, you scored a hookup on this dating app that you used for the first time. To earn your trust, he invited you to his apartment instead of going to cheap hotels and to save yourselves from the hassle. 


Good boy, innocent, and shy. These are your impressions to Mark that changed immediately the moment after he openned your legs. 


The innocent-looking guy turned out to be incredibly good in bed and he definitely knew how to fuck. He was rough, gentle, fun, and sweet all in one night, asking you if you want another round whenever you’re calm and ready to go again. 


In other words, your Valentine’s day turned out fine because of Mark.


Days after Valentine’s day, he texted you for the first time again and asked if you’re free to come over. Of course, you said yes. Why would you turn down a good fuck right? 


And that's how you and Mark turned out to be loyal fuck buddies. The sex was so good that you remained fuck buddies for almost a year now. It wasn’t decided or anything, no negotiations, no requests. It just simply happened. 


Mark is a decent person even though it’s all about sex between you two. You’re not friends, not even close to being friends because friends know important things about each other while Mark only knows your name, cellphone number, and your good spot whenever you have sex or he eats you out. 


You on the other hand only knew him through the things that he shows to you. What you see is what you get. 


He doesn’t like kissing on the lips but he sure does know how to kiss your body. And with that, you think that Mark is scared to love or he’s easy to fall for someone and he’s just protecting himself. 


“Sorry if I bit your shoulders. I was trying so hard not to kiss you-“ he says with ragged breaths after a good round. 


He may be rough on you in bed sometimes that you go home with a lot of red marks, or your body became very sore for days and you couldn’t walk properly, but he’s nice enough to take care of you, ask if something is hurting, then get you a glass of water afterward. There’s no doubt that Mark is a gentleman. 


He is low maintenance and doesn’t have any funny business up in his sleeve. He’s not clingy and not into cuddling, he doesn’t invite you to go out with him and watch movies or have coffee. Again, it’s all about sex and sex only. 


Mark may be cold and boring like that, but sometimes he can be sweet without even trying. Like that one time when he bit you too much during sex, and he was fucking you so hard that you thought you were going to break, he asked you to stay over so he could take care of you. 


“Everything okay? Was the water warm or too cold? Are you all covered now? I’ll come in with your clothes” He was talking about the bath that he prepared for you, and for someone who has seen you naked a hundred times already he still cares if you’re now covered or not. 


“Y-yeah come in” 


“Here, these should fit you perfectly” he placed the clothes near the sink and went behind you. “Let me see?” He said, asking to take a look at the bruises he caused, whispering sweet and soft apologies that felt like kisses on your skin but they were words. 


On the next day, you caught yourself using Mark’s arm as your pillow and caught his hands around your waist, keeping your back close against his chest. Cuddling while sleeping, that’s the perfect term. 


And when you feel him wake up against you, you pretend to be asleep and feel him remove his arms and replace them with a pillow. And before he gets up from bed, he put a blanket on you just to be sure you’re not cold. 


The very reason why you continue to fuck Mark and not look for a boyfriend instead is maybe everything he does for you is exactly what you want and need from a guy. And that maybe you’ll stop seeing him if you develop feelings for him already. 


Now your problem is... you don’t know if you already have feelings for him or you’re denying it. 


On your second Valentine’s together, he texted you an address of a fancy hotel together with a room number. 


“What’s this all about? Mark Lee, making me feel special on Valentine’s hmm?” You teased him and gave him your stuff. 


“I won it from our office raffle, thought we should use it today” he explains and gave you the tour before you eat dinner together. 


After having a hot shower and drying your hair before you join Mark to bed, you caught him doing some work-related stuff without a shirt and just wearing his pajama. You always see him naked but this is the first time that you actually admired his body. 


When he saw you standing beside the bed, he put away his laptop and invited you to sit on his lap. 


He was quiet for a moment, just staring blankly in front of you while caressing your legs slowly. You wanted to ask what’s wrong, but your relationship with him is not exactly the caring type so you waited for him instead. 


“How’s your day?” He asked. That’s new you thought. 


“Fine” you answered shortly and started to undo your robe and get naked, “What time do we finish tonight?” you added and started kissing his chest. 


“Stay for the night, I don’t want to stay in this place alone,” he says and started kissing your boobs. Emphasis on the kissing because normally he sucks your nipples until it's swollen and hard. 


He came closer to you, kissing the valley between your boobs and pushing you more towards him, then you noticed his kisses were slowly going up and you thought he will stop on your neck but he didn’t. He went for your lips and kiss you softly. 


Finally admitting his feelings for you. 


“Tell me what’s wrong? I feel like I’m with a totally different Mark tonight, why?” you asked, not hiding your frustrations. He’s still not answering your question. “It’s like we’re breaking all our rules tonight and you’re not telling me why. I’m not mad, please just tell me what’s on your mind, or I will go home”


“N-no” he suddenly grips your waist but not too tight, just enough to tell you he doesn’t want you to go. “We never had rules, just the kissing. I just didn’t want to hurt you tonight and...” he clears his throat before continuing, “I’m starting to have feelings for you. I was planning to confess after we have sex to make the moment sweeter but you just have to ruin it” he chuckled and came closer to your face and boldly kissed your lips again. 

A peck that’s so sweet and meaningful for you. 


“Now will you let me fuck you now? And kiss you the whole night?” he said and effortlessly switched your bodies, putting him on top of you and swiftly removing his pajama and boxers briefs. Pumping his cock immediately and pushing two fingers in your cunt to make you wet. 


He kisses you while pushing in, something very new for both of you, and kept kissing for a few more minutes while he’s still inside you. 


When he finally rolled his hips, you feel like having sex with him for the first time but this time the sex is 10x better because of his lips. Bodies to bodies, lips to lips while he fucks you slow and good that even Mark didn’t expect that he will love fucking you slow. 


Together, you hit your highs at the same time while you kiss deeper than earlier while catching each other’s breath. 


He pulled out and lie beside you, keeping you close to his body while your hands are intertwined. This is the first time that he cuddled with you after sex and gosh you want to savor the feeling but your lids are giving up on you. 


The next thing you know, you caught yourself again, cuddling while sleeping with Mark, and tried to pull away from his tight embrace. Old habits. 


“Stay,” he says, eyes still closed but he kept you closer to him. “Sleep again,” he added and kissed your forehead. Slightly reminding you of the sudden confession last night. 


On the second time you woke up, Mark is not beside you but pretty flowers on the bedside table greeted you with a small note, ‘last night wasn’t a dream. please get up, I miss you already’ and it instantly made you smile. 


After your second Valentine’s day together, Mark courted you properly but you soon made it official because you realized you wasted enough time. And with a few months of dating, your relationship with Mark evolved into something real because you’re now officially dating and finally living together in a new apartment. And even more intimate in a whole new level that you don’t have sex too much now. 


“How’s work?” He asked, eyes still closed as you flop in between his legs and lie on his chest. When you didn’t answer him, he knew already that you had an exhausting day. You feel him wrap his arms around your body, a simple gesture from your boyfriend that says, ‘it’s okay, you’re home and you’re in my arms now’. 


“How about you?” You asked in return, he just let out a heavy sigh and you knew already that his day was exhausting too. So you did your part and kiss him on the lips softly and long enough to take his tiredness away. 


“I love you. Thank you” he said and kissed you one last time before he turns off the lampshade. “Good night, I’ll love you again tomorrow” he whispers.