#(it's probably because he shows up on aeon too and it's more worth it to allocate resources to him BUT I'LL STILL COMPLAIN DAMNIT )

[rivilu]

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh i miss Socothbenoth

[nastylittleghouls]

A Hazy Shade Of Winter

Relationship(s): Aether/Aeon, Aether/Dewdrop, implied Aether/Dewdrop/Aeon

Rating: Mature (to be safe)

Words: 2501

Summary: The first snow is always special. Aether takes it upon himself to show Aeon its joys as he knows it can hit differently for quintessence ghouls.

Warnings: brief mention of blood/death related to events before they were summoned during an anxiety episode on Aeon's side. Aether is affected too but guides them both safely out of it.

Notes: I haven't written anything in years and this was supposed to be a cute little ficlet to stick to my plans to be more creative again. Somehow, it ran away with me. I don't think it turned out too bad so, after careful consideration and battling my inner demons, I decided to share it. Please excuse my rustiness and thank you for reading! <3 The title is from a song by Simon & Garfunkel. The endearment Aether uses for Aeon is Irish Gaelic and means little bear.

AO3 LINK for the so inclined (Aeon is called Phantom there because I am STILL torn on the name. e_e)

The sun is barely kissing the horizon when Aether nuzzles Aeon awake, tells him “It’s time”, in a hushed whisper close against his ear. Aeon turns to curl into him, only to end up cuddling the lukewarm fur at the edge of the nest. Rubbing his eyes, he sits up with the smallest of winces and gives himself a moment to collect himself. Lets himself bathe in the toasty warm glow of oil lamps and the rekindled fireplace.

In Dewdrop’s presence next to him, hogging the nest and snuffling in his sleep. Unashamed and unfairly beautiful. Here, right now, Aeon feels like he is too, still riding the heights of having been welcomed between these two.

Ultimately, in Aether’s gaze. Affectionate. Appreciative. Aeon feels the urge to preen, maybe show off a little. Instead, he ends up following Aether‘s thick yet nimble fingers as they button up his shirt. How can he not?

Admittedly, he’s mourning his cozy spot tucked against Aether’s bare side already. The intoxicating scent of him and Dew mingled with his own. That he could stuff his face into his armpit and just block everything else out except for them and the ache in his body from last night. Just a bit, though. Watching Aether getting ready makes up for it, despite it being horribly distracting from his own task of getting up and giving him ideas of either pulling the other ghoul back into the nest or, even better, getting on his knees for him right then and there to continue his worship.

Both options would probably wake Dew up and ruin Aether‘s valid effort to let him sleep. Tempting but not worth the aftermath. Not today. It would probably cost him nest privileges. Dew doesn’t fuck around with that. Never mind that this isn’t even his nest. He just has Aether wrapped around his claws. All nine and a half of them.

Aether is smirking by the time Aeon finally looks up at his face again, nodding encouragingly towards the end of the nest.

There are fresh clothes already waiting for him, soft and thick and neatly laid out within reach. Even his new acquisition, a long scarf, that he had watched Cumulus and Sunshine working on in the common room quite often after the tour ended, to finish it before the first frost set in. He had not known the purpose of it back then and had called it a ribbon noodle until they had explained it all to him.

Seeing it grow, stitch row after stitch row had been fascinating. Not only had it made him want to be able to do that as well. It had made him feel like it was him that was ultimately being woven tighter into the patchwork that was this pack. His home.

Another whisper pulls him out of his musings.

„C‘mon, béirín. You‘ll need clothes for this kind of fun“

And that’s more than enough for the spark to ignite a flame of excitement inside him as well. Aether has never led him astray when it comes to introducing him to new topside things but it’s the endearment that holds the most importance to him at this moment. It makes him happily drum his fingers on his thigh before he’s rudely interrupted by the end of Dew’s tail smacking him in the face. It’s light, but he sends, an apparently now semi-awake, Dew a pout as he finally gets dressed anyway. He’s just. He has been waiting, not so patiently, for Aether to finally choose one for him. Of course, Dewdrop can’t relate.

Before they leave, Aether brushes a kiss against Dew‘s temple. It earns him a sleepy smile and a scritching for his sideburns in response. Which, in turn, elicits a low purr out of Aether. As his heart skips a few beats at the sight, Aeon can‘t decide which one of them he‘d rather be.

Snickering as if they’re doing something forbidden, they sneak through the still quiet hallways of the abbey, past the other Ghouls' rooms, towards the wooden door that leads into the courtyard. Aether stops to properly loop the scarf around Aeon’s neck, affectionately chuffing at him when he goes up on his tiptoes to bump their horns together.

Aeon relishes the moment until the very second Aether pulls away.

Heavy snowfall greets them as Aether pushes the heavy door open with his shoulder. As expected, he feels Aeon stiffen. Recoiling into the safety of Aether’s side, eyes squeezed shut. Their mental connection stutters, shuts down then reopens. Aether is prepared, a large hand placed over Aeon's lower back and his heart. Fingers splayed wide and grounding over the small frame, his quintessence beckoning Aeons and entwining with it protectively again once it found its way.

He knows what this sight does to new ghouls, first and foremost to the quintessence kin.

The sunrise painting white snow in red too similar to the blood and ash of fallen kin. The Heavenly Wars. The destruction of quintessence beings. The last scene before their eyes as the void claims back what Lucifer burrowed. If unfortunate, forever lost.

Aeon’s reaction infiltrates Aether’s vessel's nervous system like electricity and drags parts of his own long-forgotten fear to the surface again, as irrational as he knows it is. Makes his healed wounds burn anew. Gives him the illusion of putrid fumes invading his nostrils before he can reign himself back in again for both of their sakes.

Own up to his responsibility as one of the pack leaders. The blind trust Aeon extends towards him.

He’s fine. Has to be. For them.

“Timor mortis conturbat me,” Aether murmurs as he moves them forward, one of his hands seeking the outline of the pendants hanging low on his chest, buried under the thick wool of his cloak. One, unarguably the most important one, holds fragments of Dew’s horns. The before and after. A reminder of the strength and protection of a mate freely given.

He taps his next words into Aeon’s mind, not wanting to disturb the quiet around them. Maybe not trusting his voice either. It could crack and give out after all. All too weak.

“I’m here. Deep Inhale, deep exhale. I want to feel your body move with it”

He takes his advice as well. On the next exhale, synced with the smaller ghoul’s, Aether’s eyes close too, and with it, he finds his voice again. Even manages to put a smile into it.

“We’re safe. This is just snow, the very one we told you about. Listen to it fall”

His hands move up, putting the lightest pressure on the outer shell of Aeon’s ears with his thumbs, rubbing the pads over the edges. The pointed tips. They flick wildly under his ministrations before they still again and the smaller ghoul relaxes against him just slightly with an audible sigh.

It‘s the reaction that he was aiming for and again he moves his hands and tips Aeon’s face up towards the rapidly falling snow, keeping his fingerpads there to stroke light circles along his jaw.

”Feel it tickle your skin. How fluffy it is. Just like Lus’ hair”

Numerous seconds tick by before Aeon’s dulled-down quintessence aura blooms back into full force.

When Aether chances a look at the smaller ghoul, his eyes are open again as he finally takes his surroundings in without his fear overshadowing his excitement. Aether could swear he was even wearing the same awed facial expression Dew had worn, that Aether must have worn too when Omega had introduced them to this wonderful earthen spiel.

He snorts slightly, amused when Aeon goes cross-eyed at the sight of their breath fogging up in front of him, swatting at it with his hand as if he’s not sure what to make of it before letting out a curious chirp and slowly extracts himself from Aether’s side. Not without a cautious glance back to reassure himself once more that he is safe. Protected. Then he visibly shakes the remaining shadows of the past off and starts sliding through the snow, twirling carefree around himself, open-mouthed trying to catch the snow on his forked tongue.

The utter confusion when it doesn‘t pile up but melts is not lost on Aether. It reminds him of the raccoon trying to wash cotton candy that he and Rain had discovered while they were both sick and stuck in bed for a week.

It would be a shame if this wouldn’t find its way to Rain too for him to appreciate, wouldn’t it? But just as he reaches into his pocket, the younger ghoul trips over his tail while chasing it, limbs flailing in all directions, and falls into a snowbank. Face first, arms and legs starfished around him.

It’s quite deep, Aether can only see a Aeon-shaped immersion with his butt sticking out in the otherwise surprisingly pristine snow. It‘s a perfect still life, he thinks. Original oil on canvas. Aether titles it, tail as old as time' since Aeon's tail, the cause of it all, is curled like a piglet’s against his body. The Church of Satan will take your bids now.

“Fuck, that’s cold”.

Aether tries not to laugh. Attempts to look up into the falling snow, bite down on his bottom lip but it’s futile. Barks of laughter burst out of him with short, helpless sounds in between.

Aeon‘s tail swishes back and forth with them, bouncing like a coil spring, which sets Aether off even harder, tearing up a little. Until a muffled, yet high-pitched “Aeth. Help” reaches his ears and he quickly makes his way over, rolling the other ghoul onto his back.

„You okay?“

Aeon looks up at him with slitted eyes as he attempts to blow at the snow stuck on his face then his upper body shoots up, grabs, and pulls Aether down right on top of himself.

The cursed element of surprise.

They roll through the snow, their laughter and the occasional curse so loud that they’re probably waking the whole abbey up. Their tails lash playfully as they try to shove each other into the white cold - Aether‘s joints will make him pay for this later- until Aether finally realizes what Aeon is trying to accomplish. He isn’t trying to win or end up on top, he’s enjoying the way Aether’s body is pressing him down into the snow again and again. The way he covers him completely. Eyes shining brighter with every turn.

Aether boops the younger ghoul’s red nose when a higher slope forces them to a stop, about to give Aeon space to breathe when their laughter tapers off into them just grinning goofily at each other. Thinks about suggesting they make their way back inside to warm up with hot chocolate and pancakes to round this experience off. The temperature is affecting his protege by now if the shivers he’s trying to hide are anything to go by.

As soon as he realizes Aether’s intention, Aeon reaches up to pull the bigger Ghoul down into a kiss. He aims for sweet but ends up desperate. Aether allows it. Indulges him for a while by letting him lead. Humms with the wet slide of their tongues, then tips his head to a sharper angle, guiding Aeon’s enthusiasm into something slow and deep.

Aeon’s breath catches mid-moan with the intensity of it.

Slender arms wind themselves around Aether's shoulders, clinging. Keeping. Legs fall open wider in invitation, hips grinding his still sensitive cock up against Aether‘s with little gasps, boldly asking for more. For anything Aether is willing to give him. He’d let him take him right there. Wants him to. The wetness and cold that is seeping more and more into his body be damned. He just wants to feel that closeness and give himself over again.

I’m here. Please see me. Feel me. Let me be yours too.

„You could warm me up with something else,“ Aeon manages in between. It‘s cheesy, accompanied by the dorkiest eyebrow wriggle Aether has seen in his long life. A salute to Swiss influence, no doubt.

„Is that so?“

It doesn’t sound like a question. The mirth in Aether's words is a stark contrast to the heated look in his eyes. He should reprimand Aeon for mind snooping and not reward him with another kiss. But how can temptation not get the best of him when …

Fate doesn’t want him to finish that thought. A snowball hits Aether square on the back of his head, and he looks up, alarmed. A little confused.

Dew is leaning against the door frame, clad in nothing but one of Aether’s hoodies and knee-high socks that reveal a sliver of creamy skin every time he switches feet to protect them somewhat from the cold floor, regarding them with a mischievous smirk.

It’s betrayed by how his eyes are still unguarded from sleep, and the love Aether knows is always there. It‘s a look to be alluring, and it works every time. Dew knows how weak Aether is for him wearing his clothes, how stunning he looks, made obvious once more by Dew quirking a knowing eyebrow at him when their eyes meet and the demanding tug at their bond.

How long has Dew been watching them?

Aether smiles too sweetly down at Aeon when he whines, traps his still twitching hips with his thigh, and affectionately ruffles his hair. Mouths 'stay still' at him while he banters with an entirely unbothered Dewdrop. Aeon doesn‘t hear much of it, just happily gets lost in the touch, a shaky breath that he can thankfully pass off as being cold, leaving him. Aether’s attention being divided once more makes Aeon already miss having it entirely to himself. It’s rare. Too rare.

“Get the fuck back inside then. I’ll warm you up alright”.

It's the first thing he consciously hears Dew say before Aether pulls himself up. His grabby hands are not fast enough to stop Aether and he can’t stop the utterly sad sound that leaves him at the realization. “Now he acts like I’d leave him all by himself, “Aether teases with a chuckle and helps Aeon to his feet as well, patting the snow from his clothes. Aeon remembers to return the favor, subtly turning his head to look for Dew. The spot he had occupied is empty, the door closed again. Probably back in Aether’s warm nest already. 

When Aether walks back towards the building, Aeon lingers, looking down at the spot they just laid in again. The indents they left are already filling back up with a fresh layer of snowflakes. 'Snow’s pretty rad', he decides as he adjusts himself in his damp pants with the heel of his hand to get at least a little bit of relief, before finally catching up with Aether, ducking under the already raised arm to let him pull him against his side. Good boys can wait.

“So, about that hot chocolate…..”

[astralexpressarchives]

Dan Heng, the Imaginary, and the Lunarescent Depths

So I was recently discussing lore with a friend of mine and we came to a very interesting conclusion about Dan Heng that just makes a little too much sense for me to not make post about.

Dan Heng is an artist who uses the blood of Long to paint imaginary realms into existence and also Long is probably an Imaginary Aeon

Okay hear me out.

So everybody has the 4 star version of Dan Heng on their account. Everybody would have seen his ultimate ability and should be quite familiar with his line:

This sanctuary, is but a vision... Break!

The animation begins with a zoom in on his sphere - very likely the same sphere he uses in his Dan Heng: Imbibitor Lunae form for his spells. He closes his eyes.

Now, the camera zooms out quickly so that we can see the sanctuary that is but a vision.

Then he attacks the enemy, his weapon trailing black splatters of...

Ink!

Alright, now let me back it up a bit for a brief intermission and introduce you to the Judges of the 10 Lords Commission. The Undestroyed Notes makes this statement about the Judges:

A sister among the disciples once described to me one of the judge's brushes — it could write talismans out of thin air, which would make the written words come true.

Of course, we now know this is likely a reference to Hanya as her recent promo material shows her using a magic brush:

She specializes in reading the karma and sins of criminals, and records their crimes and punishments with the Oracle Brush.

It's unclear is this Oracle Brush is in fact the brush that can write things out of thin air, but it's worth noting regardless.

The point is that there is precedence in HSR for characters using brushes/painting/writing to make things real.

Back to Dan Heng, though. It doesn't stop at his 4 star variation, either. Dan Heng: Imbibitor Lunae's ultimate is a very similar story.

A zoom in towards his sphere, his eyes are closed - this time, the (drawn!) clouds are circling him.

Then a scene where the entire thing looks painted! But it doesn't stop there.

Dan Heng and Blade

Now, as with any analysis of Dan Heng, it's basically impossible to make one without also mentioning Blade since Hoyo is obsessed with them:

Blade's sword graveyard (the Hellscape, as he calls it) is very similar to Dan Heng's heavenly moon realm. I believe this is because these locations are mirror images of each other - that is to say, the mountainous area is a real location and one or both of their ultimates are mirror/s of this location.

Also note that he also accesses this location by "slicing" it out of thin air with his Blade.

Also note the drawn aesthetic of the spiderlilies, I think this is implying they are in another realm - same as when he is in his ult and the spiderlilies are projected on his attack! In that same scene, if you look very closely you can spot some lotus the water (extra credit to my friend for spotting this one!)

The realm keeping commission has this image of a dragon's face over the moon between two sets of mountains, one set is upside down mirroring the other set.

A few more examples of Dan Heng and Blade as mirrors:

Blade in the reflection of the water. Note the presence of the moon and leaves surrounding Dan Heng vs the Arbor roots surrounding Blade.

We also know the arbor roots are a real location because we fight Phantylia there beneath the Scalegorge:

The Azure Dragon enters through a circular cloud formation and arrives at the mountainous location on the Xianzhou.

Blade in his fansong shown at the circular clouds swapping identities of Blade vs Yingxing (this happens when he is "marastruck" as seen in his trailer). In his fansong, the clouds lead to the red moon.

This is important because Blade is the creator of Cloudpiercer - the weapon attached to the orb Dan Heng uses to paint his imaginary landscapes - and Blade also created the sword he uses that cuts open the portal to the hellscape. It's unclear if the connection is the weapons or something else, like Dragonheart theory would would mean Blade's blood contains Long's blood which could be the triggering tool.

Anyway, we know these mountains are a real location because Dan Feng was imprisoned there. I believe this location is the Lunarescent Depths Delve below the Scalegorge:

We also know there is a moon present at Blade's Hellscape:

Keep in mind that this splashart features the moon (piercing through the clouds, very subtle Hoyo), destroyed arbor roots, the sword graveyard, and the spiderlilies. Now compare these images:

This is the same area before and during/after the sedition. Note the arbor roots that were present in the reflection of Blade, the water, the chains, the moon (eclipsed, too) that he is drinking the power of...

To drive the point home even further, here's Blade seated during Kafka's companion quest, courtesy of my friend:

Doesn't that painting look... familiar??? Other than in this location, the painting only shows up in two other locations on the Xianzhou one of which is the Realm-Keeping Commission office (which is literally covered in Vidyadhara mountain references - seriously go check it out for yourself).

Hoyo is definitely hinting at something with this set up, lol.

Genshin

It's hard to talk about a Hoyo game without mentioning Genshin Impact. Honestly, a lot of the Vidyadhara story mirrors the story in Genshin, especially Fontaine, for example:

Special water, potentially people made of water

Water dragon making rain in idle animation

Small female child contained by local scientists might have the soul of a god or could be a scam

And more... but the point is people who play Genshin might be familiar with the story of the melusines who were created with the blood of a dead dragon and they live inside it's corpse and also one of them is a painter using the blood of said dead dragon and also fiction is real and they can enter it in an imaginary space?

Yeah... I think they might have copied that idea and applied it to Dan Heng, allowing him to paint using the special water (probably the Blood of Long) and allowing him to create imaginary spaces. "This sanctuary is but a vision" a vision he literally painted!

I swear I'm not crazy.

Long the Permanence

Now here's an additional theory I have about Long the Permanence.

Long could be an Aeon that exists within the Imaginary space.

By this I mean the reason noone has met him or knows where he is or what happened to him is because he's always been imaginary. His scions exist in the primary reality, of course, but Dan Heng's power comes from the Imaginary element in his Imbibitor Lunae form.

This is further supported by the fact that the moon in reality (outside of the mountain scenery) only shows up briefly at key moments for corresponding characters.

It shows up briefly in Fu Xuan's trailer when she recites lines from a poem about the moon but otherwise is absent. Note how she has Long's constellations on the back of her outfit and dragon heads on her tools.

Jingliu's power is also moon based and you also see the moon in the reflection of her ice/nearby water. The reflection of the moon is actually the real power behind her attacks and the moon that appears behind her is a mirage projected from the reflection (not the other way around!). And in the recent Jingliu Myriad you can tell at the start that the moon only just appeared because the moon flowers are only just blooming! IRL these flowers only bloom at night time, presumably in the moonlight, so the fact that they only just opened implies the moon was not present earlier in the scene. This is the same flower eternally bloomed on her shoulder.

Also note how both scenes where she is drawing upon the moon's power also becomes drawn in an inky art style! Just like Dan Heng.

I might stop here because this post is already very long but I might do a whole post dedicated to dissecting Jingliu's lore and symbolism in greater depth, especially as more Jingliu content is released over the coming days.

[quillerqueen]

Not a Universe Goes By (12-17/31)

(a series of fic(let)s for The Ted Lasso AU-gust challenge) #12 Mythology

 Rebecca of Argos.

 Rebecca of Sparta.

 Daughter of Paul. Wife of Rupert. Most beautiful of mortal women.

 Coveted. Claimed. Unloved.

 They'd call her victim, refugee, traitor—when really she was finally just herself, not of any city, or nation, or man. She'd chosen to be brave, and found love underway.

 Bards would sing of Theodore the Shepherd Prince of Troy and Rebecca of Whichever-Side-in-the-War-One-Took. Their song would live in dozens of versions for generations to come. Neither could even touch the truth.

 Together, they were only Ted and Rebecca—a single soul split by lightning aeons ago, reunited at last.

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#13 Infinite Loop

Ted’s always found the concept of deja vu fascinating.

There should be more extensive research of the phenomenon. Of course, by the time there’s anything conclusive, his issue will be long gone, resolved and—well, probably not forgotten. Still, even though it might be too late for him, it’d be worth it, for posterity.

Maybe Ted could volunteer to give his witness account, because this one sure is a doozy.

Read on AO3

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#14 Where It All Went Wrong

 It creeps upon them out of nowhere, from a seed yet unknown. It sprouts through suffocation, flourishes under the glass dome meant to protect roses from raging elements. She feels it grow—weeds overtaking a garden she's been tending with all heart but little skill.

 Buckets of love don't discriminate between flower and weed.

 So she waters it with tears.

 Still it thrives, its pungent smell burning in her eyes.

  Tear it out by the root!  

 Oh, but they're intertwined. Wrapped around the flowers, it's squeezing the lifeblood from them. There's no destroying it without burning the whole garden down.

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#15 Countryside

 Instead of sunflowers as far as the eye can see, it’s strawberry fields forever.

 Ted takes it all in. The stripes of brown-and-green dotted with red, clear blue skies speckled white, and Rebecca’s straw hat matching her yellow sundress. Rebecca’s golden curls bouncing in the breeze. Rebecca, going out of her way to soothe the sting of his Kansas trip cut short.

 If only she knew that, more than any place or activity, her mere presence is the best dang salve.

 Perhaps one day, soon, he’s gonna tell her.

 She smiles, blushing, and takes his hand.

 Perhaps she already knows.

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#16 Supernatural

 "Ted, I lied to you."

 The confession might cost her dearly. Her freedom. Her life. Her friend—the first person to show her kindness since her powers awoke and set her free.

 But Ted deserves to know the truth before he goes to battle for her.

 "They’re right," she whispers. "Not about the horrid things they say I did, but…I really am one."

 "Rebecca,” he breathes. “It don't change a thing."

 His embrace is warm; she shivers still.

 It might already be too late for her—for them.

 Vengeance is walking Salem, and it has the face of Rupert Mannion.

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#17 Flatmates/Neighbours

  Darling, don’t embarrass yourself—we both know without me you’re all alone, with nowhere to go.

Rupert was so smug, so cocksure; Rebecca was hurt and so, so tired.

So she finally left.

That’s how she finds herself standing in the hall with just the contents of her purse. Tomorrow she’ll contact her bank and her lawyer, try to pick up the pieces and start anew. But for tonight, she’s got no plan.

  Now what?

“Howdy, neighbour!”

It’s that rambunctious American, Ted Something, newly moved in. Silly moustache. Kind eyes that see too much.

“Hey—need a place to crash?”

[liron-ao3]

Redemption

"That's just how I roll," Castiel says. The words hang between them like grenades ready to explode. This isn't Castiel. Not really. Fucking, blazing, popping pills? Not that Dean couldn't relate, but seeing the ex-angel like this is deeply unsettling. Even more than watching his future self. Dean knows the darkness inside him, after all. He is shocked, but not surprised by this other Dean, by himself down the road. But that he would drag Castiel down like that? No, he didn't expect that.

"That's fucked up," Dean murmurs under his breath, but lost mojo or not, Castiel's hearing still seems to be razor-sharp.

"This whole world is fucked up, Dean. We all just try to survive one way or another."

Dean works his jaw but stays silent. Who is he to judge how other people cope in this reality, where death is even more likely than in his own?

"Didn't know you were into orgies," Dean can't help saying.

Castiel chuckles. The sound sends goosebumps over Dean's skin, but not the enjoyable kind. "It's not the same as screwing with you, granted. But as the big leader, you can't 'show any weaknesses', apparently. I know my orgies drive you secretly crazy. That must suffice," the ex-angel smirks.

Dean's lips fall open in utter shock. Castiel laughs louder and pushes Dean's mouth shut with surprisingly tender fingers.

"I…" Dean needs to look away. The touch still prickles on his skin and spreads like sweet poison through his body.. "We used to…?" he croaks.

There's a long moment of silence after that. This world's Castiel's easiness slips off his face, morphs into a helpless frown. "Shit. I thought we already did," Castiel says, and it sounds as if he regrets every single word he just said.

"No," is all that Dean manages. He and Castiel? Not that he wouldn't have thought about it, but he never considered the angel would reciprocate his feelings or stoop so low as to act on them.

They drive through the night in silence, possibly Castiel's last night on this earth. He's been around for aeons, and now he'll… Dean can't even think about it without tearing up.

Dean's mouth is desert dry. He swallows around the razor blades in his throat. "Did… are you here because…?"

"Does it matter?" Castiel asks, sounding stone-cold sober now.

"Of course, it does. Now that I know…"

Castiel sighs. "Not to adulate me, but us? These are probably the last nice memories my Dean still has from 2009."

His Dean.

Past Dean nods in understanding. "How…?" Nausea spreads through Dean's body, making it difficult to keep his eyes on the former angel.

Castiel's lips curl up into a soft smile. "You kissed me under a street light. It was… indescribable. The most beautiful moment in my whole existence."

Dean huffs a laugh and runs a hand over his eyes. Awesome. He kissed Castiel, and the angel followed him into Camp Chitaqua, and loyal as he is, he even stayed when Dean pushed the man he loved out of his bed to replace him with Risa and Jane and god-knows-who else. Future Dean probably thinks he's kind to him, that it's merciful not to give in to his longing. Or he hates himself too much for his past weakness that cost Castiel everything to allow love to soften the pain.

"I'm sorry, man," Dean says, feeling the weight of the words to his very bones.

Castiel shakes his head. "Don't. It was worth it."

Dean furrows his brow and looks into the night. He doubts that, but he has hurt the man next to him enough. He promises himself not to make this mistake again. It pains him, the knowledge of things that aren't allowed to be, knowing that this street lamp kiss is never going to happen, now that he saw the consequences with his own eyes. But if it might save Castiel in the long run? How could he be that selfish?

"Did he hurt you?" Dean asks, hoping against all odds that the answer is 'no'.

Castiel smiles at him sadly. "He does, every single day." He knocks his fist over his now human heart. "But he's my light, Dean, my compass. And you? You still live in him. How could I not accept the pain?"

Dean swallows hard. He always knew his love was poisonous. That's why one-offs were safe. No hard feelings, no pain. Just a bit of happy hormones to drag him through his shitty life. But Castiel doesn't even have this much as it sounds. Sex doesn't make you happy if its only purpose is to return a bit of the pain that someone you love inflicts on you.

"You're drowning it in drugs," Dean points out, talking like scratching off the fresh scab on a barely closed wound.

Castiel shrugs. "I can still look at him and fight at his side. That's worth it. You're worth it."

Dean worries his lip between his teeth. He doesn't deserve the love of this man, much less future Dean. But it's clear that Castiel is beyond redemption. He will follow Dean to certain death and beyond.

Tears prick the hunter's eyes, and without looking, he grabs Castiel's hand and holds it tight. Castiel's fingers slot easily into place between his own, and a strangled sob leaves Dean's mouth, covering up the quiet sigh falling from Castiel's. Dean pulls his hand to his lips and presses a kiss to its back.

"I'm so sorry, Cass," he murmurs into the scarred skin, lips lingering there for a long moment.

Castiel doesn't dismiss his apology this time. Their hands sink on the seat between them, and they drive like this through the night, two lost souls mourning what might have been, until they reach their destination.

~~~~~

Thank you for reading. 💙💚 Check out my stuff on ao3.

[miraculouscontent]

(miraculous asks)

Anonymous said:

Oh My Gosh!!!! I was just thinking about Party Crasher and man I hate how they had Ladybug get captured for the men to save! It's a continuous thing you see in media: strong heroic woman gets put in peril so that the men can shine. I didn't even realize it until you said it! I get that it was probably meant to be a "role reversal" of Chat always getting kidnapped or brainwashed for Ladybug to save, but the fact that this is the "guys' episode" it read like "well damn, we can't have the guys be strong if a girl is in the way; let's have the girl get captured so the boys can prove their worth by rescuing her!".

At least in Sandboy, Ladybug was still competent and came up with the plans, but this?! It makes me sick, and it's all too easy to fall into these traps; even Kim Possible did it! In my magical girl story, the heroine does get put in a magical coma and require someone to bail her out, but it's her female friends AND her boyfriend who save her, so it's not just a girl being weakened so a boy can be powerful, especially since said boy actually does a minority of the work required to save her; the focus is on the female characters so it's her girl friends who do most of it. I still ended up scrapping that side plot anyway, and do you know why? Because regardless of who saved her, I still didn't want my female protagonist to be put in distress at all due to the unfortunate implications! Needing help in a fight? Sure. But outright being captured or kidnapped? Nah fam.

I was honestly thinking about that when the first episode came out. Like, they could’ve just had Marinette NOT SHOW UP in time so the guys take care of things, which at least gives more of a message that Paris wouldn’t go to hell just because Ladybug is a little late or something.

And yeah, the “boys squad episode so gotta toss the girl out” is... sigh.

Anonymous said:

I think the writers were trying to show Chat angsting to show his regret instead of an actual apology. Still doesn't explain why Aeon didn't bring up her death afterwards. Did Olympia delete that from her memory banks?

I guess? :|

I don’t know why Chat can’t just apologize without fishing or trying to earn sympathy. Like JUST SAY YOU’RE SORRY, DAMMIT.

Anonymous said:

If you haven't read Maribat, then you won't regret it. I am not in the DC universe but I started reading it and WOW. Literally every single time Marinette is a badass queen and gets her complete revenge and is actually happy! Even if you absolutely love Lukanette (which I have nothing against) you should totally try it.

Appreciate the comment, but I find it hard to ship other Marinette ships outside of Lukanette. Ivanette is a very loose exception and it’s not like I ship it hard or anything.

Anonymous said:

Despite not being a Lukanette shipper I love you. Why? Because you amazing, so right in literally everything and I love you <33

gkdfjgfdngjkfdg thank you

bat-anon said:

The NY Special made it so that Max is literally the only Black/Brown kid that doesn’t exist to make Love Square happen and that just makes me hate it even more.

I wish you didn’t make me have this realization because I hate it.

At least Delmar existed in the New York special???? I guess???? I dunno, I’m trying here, I don’t recall him doing anything love square centric.

Anonymous said:

I honestly don't mind Alix's outfit as Bunnix! I feel like it fits her, plus she's an adult so its not much of a problem, not saying it can't be improved however. I DO have issues with the designs for the underage girls outfits however....those are very sus

Yeah, the problem I take with Bunnyx’s is that it’s a bodysuit. If there was just more definition, like having actual boots, I wouldn’t complain as much.

Anonymous said:

I actually just really like the idea of the new bee being a genuinely nice person who becomes friends with Marinette. Not exactly close friends (since I like the idea of friendly working relationships without actual personal stakes in them). I also enjoy the idea of the new bee having some small animosity for Chat Noir- just because their personalities aren't the greatest mix. I also think that it would make sense for the miraculous of subjection to be at odds with the miraculous of destruction

Full agreement but we know how much the writers are resistant to have characters go against Chat.

Anonymous said:

Not gonna lie the scene where the girl squad gets akumatized almost makes it seem like they got akumatized on purpose, similar to Manon in Puppeteer 2(although she was a little kid who was probably just imagining she could enact revenge). And why can't they have a uniformed design, like they're a team but wear different colors, similar to the Sailor Senshi(like, Alya's the leader and wears orange, Rose wears pink, Alix wears green, Juleka wears purple, and Mylene wears yellow). It's so boring.

Mood.

Not to mention that WE ARE SO TIRED OF THEM GETTING AKUMATIZED INTO THE SAME AKUMA.

AT LEAST PALETTE SWAP THEM.

Anonymous said:

Relating to the Didn't Need Burrows and Treatment of Marinette bingo cards, have you considered making one for whenever the show fails at girl power? It could say things like "sexualized frames of teenage girls" "boy tells girl what to do" "girls don't get to keep Miraculouses", and "girls are forced to apologize whenever a situation goes wrong". And in the center, it could say "Don't show this to your daughter!"! Lol! What do you think?

lol I feel like I have enough cards, otherwise I would.

Anonymous said:

I saw another post that talked about Miraculous New York, and they theorized that it was rewritten to focus more on Marinette and Adrien in order to get viewers invested in the Love Square again after more people started to lose faith in the ship. Do you think that's a possibility?

I think so. The whole special comes off as trying to reassure love square shippers because of how hard it goes for him. I cut out Marinette’s crushing and it cuts like 18% from the episode, meaning it’s even worse than Season 3 (15%).

Anonymous said:

Maybe the point of the [break-up episodes] is meant to discourage people from shipping Lukanette and Adrigami too?

Spoiler alert: didn’t work.

Anonymous said:

Are we not gonna talk about how in one ask, somebody legit said "(long dreamy sigh) Viperion"? Like same.

RIGHT????

Same.

Anonymous said:

Ml fandom: I hate how Ladybug keeps secrets from Chat Noir! He sacrifices himself for her all the time and she never appreciates him for it! He has EVERY right to get mad at her!!

ML Fandom when Chat Noir does the same thing in the special: ....Wow Ladybug was way to harsh on Chat Noir!! She doesn’t appreciate him at all!! Shes so mean to him!

:|

i hate it

Anonymous said:

Idk if it's just me, but a majority of the fandom is split in two; it's never one or the other "MARINETTE SUCKS AND IS A HORRIBLE PERSON GUARDIAN MARY SUE WHO SEXUALLY HARRASSES" or "ADRIEN SUCKS HE WAS NEVER ON MARINETTES SIDE" but im personally on the latter, but not to that extreme. i hate videos bashing marinette and then never acknowledge adriens faults

Yeah, the fandom gets more divided as time goes on because of the writers trying to increase the drama/tension.

Anonymous said:

I am PERSONALLY offended they gave Luka the snake miraculous. Snakes have such a negative connotation. A lot of people insult Lila by calling her a SNAKE. And now those ML writers DARE insult the best character in ML?! HOW DARE THEY!?????

I adore Viperion but I agree that I first heard he was getting snake and was like, “BUT MY BOI???”

It gets awkward too because other animals like the pig have negative connotations, like how Daizzi basically means “idiot/stupid” and they’re giving it to the freaking blond character, really???

Anonymous said:

I think that Ivanette would be even better if Marinette was plus-sized character.

I see why you’d think that. I just disagree because then it turns the ship into “let’s pair the heavyset characters together because they heavyset.”

Anonymous asked:

On the topic of romance failures and general series salt, my main issue right now is how the series puts so much focus on romantic relationships while failing to consider other levels of relationship or what they affect.

On the L² front I can completely buy Marinette being in love with Adrien. Most of the time she genuinely wants him to be happy and is ready to take a step back for him, however much it hurts. But in terms of romantic love? It. Is. A. Crush! But if we step back from the formula, what is there left between them? Their civilian relationship is held together by a “comedy” of errors and without that there is surprisingly little left. Well, besides two “best friends” desperately trying to make it happen because somehow they lost their individual characters and instead of being friends became matchmakers?

I too like Luka and Marinette together. Their relationship is pretty nice to see and all. But sometimes it feels like it happens in a dimension of its own, like the writers want to make the endgame clear in that the “sideships” can be easily cut out of the big “how they got together”-recaps. I especially miss reactions from and interactions with Juleka. She is Luka’s sister, Marinette’s friend, and IIRC someone aware of if not even a bit player in the great shipping game. She is in a prime position to step up and bring progress on all fronts: She can talk with Luka. She can either give Marinette helpful pointers or go “All in or nothing”, i.e. trying to make Marinette get her Adrien-feelings in order as she does not want her brother to get less than Marinette’s full heart. Similarly, she can counteract “friendly acts” and stop humiliating situations from escalating, or she herself can escalate them in the “All or Nothing”-scenario. Yet she remains basically a background character who gets little attention from the camera and almost no “non-focus identity”

As for Kagami, I may be too biased. *Any* positive Kagami/Marinette relationship is to me what Lukanette is to you. So naturally I have lots of opinions when it comes to her role ;) But can I just say that Adrien/Kagami is the weirdest ship for me? They have a few cute scenes and I think if they’d spend a lot more time together, they’d do each other good but I don’t know how they work. “No Hesitation” Kagami would lob Adrien’s head straight off with all his…everything. If we are meant to take Adrien’s love for LB seriously (and I guess we have to because how in the name of sanity is any form of the stated endgame gonna work otherwise???), how does Kagami fit into that picture as a girl who can hardly express emotions while Adrien is the definition of a  guy who can not stop flirting or goes for all kinds of romantic gestures? Sometimes it feels more like a “social fit” and “Mommy/Daddy approves” kind of deal which is quite the shame! Normally I like these kind of relationships in fictions but they need a solid underlining or good development. One they haven’t and one the series has not been giving to anyone so far.

Yeah, the whole thing with the love square versus side ships ends up feeling extremely forced. Keeping Luka away and forcing Adrien into Lukanette episode are the biggest giveaways, basically a big fat sign that says, “We know Marinette would forget that Adrien exists if she hung around Luka for more than five minutes.”

AND YEAH, KAGAMI WOULDN’T PUT UP WITH ADRIEN’S GARBAGE. I liked Adrimi but it’s definitely more flawed than Lukanette.

Anonymous said:

Watched your opinion on the New York special and I agree with you. It was mediocre at best. It could have been something nice, like if they added Kagami and Luka, for example, so that we can get a bit of development from the new couples on season 4, so that it doesn’t feel rushed when they start dating on season 4. It could also be a good opportunity to see the other temporary heroes one last time, since Marinette technically has the miracle box.

They could have had an epic fight with the American Superheroes, maybe even giving the bee miraculous temporally to Aeon or Jess so that we didn’t need to see their awful and uncreative superheroes designs. It would have been nice if they made something more useful other than being characters that believe that Adrien and Marinette are “Meant to be”, like, we already got a ton of these already, couldn’t we get someone who didn’t feel something about this ship? It has so much wasted potential that I don’t even know how to start. Do you agree with anything I said?

I agree, yes. They could’ve easily thrown Luka/Kagami into the mix (or had Marinette/Adrien stay behind while flipping perspectives or something; flawed but they could make it work).

Anonymous said:

I'm rereading ladybugout and wow... the moment of silence after "chat deserves that kiss" gets me every time. Everyone stopping and just staring because wow he really just said that

Me whenever Chat Noir opens his mouth in the show.

Anonymous said:

I saw the Backwarder post you just talked about and yes, it is so totally ridiculous. They forgot another thing, though. Miraculous isn't just about comedy, action, and romance, it's about embarrassing Marinette. And the fact that almost everyone in the comments was acting like the medicine scene at the end was funny was just stupid and saddening to hear or read about, because it shows how people have been conditioned to hate and rally against Marinette without even realizing it. Granted, there was one lady who said it reminded her of her husband, so I guess that's okay(but all it means is that Adrien will be Marinette's--aka "his lady's"--husband like eeerrrgh!). And there was one person who said they liked that Juleka's advice because "If you're friend isn't willing to commit crimes for your happiness, is she even your friend?". But everyone else liked the ending. And I don't get the person who said we got "Subtle progression with Adrien and Marinette". We're right where we started.

Weeeeell, I understand the “comedy, action, romance” comment because all of those basically boil down to embarrassing Marinette or invalidating her. Comedy and romance goes without saying while action involves her dealing with Chat “Nice Guy” Noir.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me, or does Snow White's "Red Shoes" form look a lot like Marinette. I know, I know, Marinette is Chinese and Red Shoes is Korean, but they still look strikingly similar. They're bodies are really similar, too, but that might just be because animation tends to use eerily similar body types for its female characters on a whole. It's sad and it makes me think of how cute Marinette would be if she was fat. I also think Snow White was cuter than Red Shoes but that's kind of the point.

I think it’s the body type thing but that’s just a guess since I didn’t immediately make the connection.

I agree that Snow White is cuter.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one who's never liked "destined to fail" characters? Basically this is when characters aren't allowed to be good at/succeed at something or else the whole universe will somehow fall apart. Think of how in The Amazing World of Gumball, if Richard gets a job, the world will be in complete and utter chaos. So he's better off as a lazy, bumbling dad. In Phineas and Ferb, Candace is always trying to rat out her younger brothers but if she gives up or succeeds something bad will happen.

TV Tropes put it the best: "Not only is she not allowed to succeed, but she's also not allowed to stop trying!"(conveniently under the Cosmic Plaything trope). I just don't like it because it shows that the writers just want to lead them on with the promise of success then snatch it away at the last minute. And now we're back at Miraculous Ladybug, where Marinette is humiliated every time she doesn't sign a gift that's for Adrien, and yet when she does, everyone in Paris DIES. Except for...HIM.

you: *mentions Candace*

me: [a million awful flashbacks]

Also, yeah, it’s so hard to watch, especially in “Chat Blanc” because it’s like, “Oh, you want to give a gift to a boy and you dArEd to use your powers for it? Congrats, but everyone else is DEAD and you can hang out with him as much as you want! You’re welcome!”

Anonymous said:

I think it’d become a “faintest idea blackout card”rather than a bingo.

(referring to my “Faintest Idea” card)

We’re getting there.

darkmoonravewolf said:

I hate that everything on that list could happen and very likely will

(referring to “Didn’t Need Burrow”)

Yeah, and it makes me sad :’)

Anonymous said:

That’s be real here. Miraculous ladybug is not a show about Marinette; Miraculous Ladybug is a show about Adrien. Adrien is the real main character.

Notice that when they focused on Adrien in “Lies,” they only cut back to Marinette (IN A SCENE THAT CAN’T EXIST) to have her fawn over him.

Anonymous said:

Is it just me or are Lady Noire's eyes huge? Maybe it's just the green but they seem way bigger than Marinette's

I’m not sure, but considering Rena’s facial structure being different from Alya’s, it wouldn’t surprise me.

asexual-individual said:

With what you've said about Adrien lacking a reason to exist outside of development for Marinette and Gabriel, I have to wonder how different the show would be if Chat Noir's identity was also kept from the audience. Adrien would still be there as himself, but he only gets as much focus as Alya, and Chat Noir's identity is treated as a mystery (a Tuxedo Mask type mystery, but a mystery all the same).

I see what you mean but it might cause Adrien+Chat’s screentime to feel excessive once the reveal happens, because suddenly their screentime gets combined and it’s like, “oh wow so the combined screentime is his then.”

Anonymous said:

I know that the kwami's really only exist so we can hear our protagonists' thoughts outloud (like what the Coraline movie did with adding Wybie to the story). But honestly, what's the point in having magical gods in the jewelry if you're not going to do anything with them?

Marketing with “cute” side characters.

guisendisguise said:

It's funny, originally, I had shipped Marichat in the sense that Chat and Mari start hanging out and both fall in love with the other's supposedly less perfect, more real selves. Then Luka was introduced and I ended up putting both lukanette and marichat at the same level. Then S3 hit and killed any love I had for Marichat. The writers themselves killed the Love Square for me. At this point, it's very clear they are living in a delusion where the Love Square could ever work narratively without Deus ex Machina or Deus Lo Vult (God wills it). Basically, they've gone past scraping the bottom of the writing skills barrel and are now shoulder deep in the hole they dug thru the bottom of said barrel. I'd like to point out that the bottom of the barrel is writing poop and now they're digging thru the useless plastic landfill the barrel was sitting on top of

Uggggh, yeah. Any appreciation I could’ve had for Marichat died in “Weredad.” I already didn’t like Adrien/Chat and then “Weredad” just showed his complete lack of... well, ANYTHING.

cosmostellar said:

Honestly feels like MLBs writers are going based off the "JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE" instead of, yknow, fleshing them out while developing them also in the context of their cultures and giving them these little things that the audiences who belong to the same minority can identify with. I don't mean "have Marinette walk in qipao 24/7" bcs thats just... bad on its own but man, /some/ casual acknowledgments of her culture would be nice.

Reading the sentence “JUST IMAGINE EVERY POC CHARACTER YOU'RE WRITING AS WHITE” physically hurts me.

Anonymous said:

Ok, I've always thought that Chloe was robbed of redemption (they held it in front of us, but then jerked it away while Astruc says, "She's irredeemable! We thought she was redeemable, but she wasn't :)!" What are your thoughts! Also, I just recently found your blog and I really like it :)

Thank you!

But I have no sympathy for bully characters, so I didn’t want Chloe redeemed. Maybe I’m still bitter about my own bullying experience, but I just wasn’t here for Marinette being forced to forgive Chloe, which is basically what they did until they backpedaled.

The time spent on her was wasted though and that I can agree on.

Anonymous said:

Me: Writes a 1k rant about how the tweet makes no sense as the "mistake" is about motivation and not the critical plot. Also me: Remembers that in MLB the plot always comes back to the romance. Finally me: Wonders why he got involved with the series post-S3 when all the red flags were already everywhere.

Mistakes were made.

Anonymous said:

I'm semi-catching up on miraculous, and- is it my impression, or does Kagami rebel against her mother more in few episodes she's in (even though her mother's influences on her seem to be stronger in general), than Adrien in the entire show? I /know/ that I don't want to see Adrien free himself from his father w/ the desperation I want to see Kagami free herself from her mother and realize that the standards she's held up to are unhealthy and too strong.

Yeah, I’m way more invested in Kagami than Adrien.

Anonymous said:

Am I the only one confused about whether the staff stopped caring and half-asses the series or cares too much and over-produces the hell out of it?

Nah. It really feels like they secretly hate the love square so they have to keep forcing it.

Anonymous said:

ngl I haven't watched any new episodes since Chameleon and I've been getting all that Miraculous News via tumblr to avoid that Marinette Brand Second Hand Embarrassment™

Understandable.

Anonymous said:

If they aired the 6th one first WHAT WHAT HAPPENED TO LEAD UP TO THIS???? WE ARE ON SEASON FOUR WITH TWO SPEICALS, GETTING A THIRD, AND ANY DEVELOPMENT WE HAD HAS GONE BACKWARDS, SUCKED, OR STATUS QUO YO-ED AWAY!!!!! HOW THE HECK DO WE GET ADRIENETTE FROM FOUR SEASONS OF NOTHING?????? I USED TO FANGIRL AT THIS NOW I AM TERRIFIED.

Answer: We don’t get Adrienette. We get forced love square and rushed/fake “development” of it while being constantly confused as episodes air out of order.

Anonymous said:

im sorry But adrienette has been suck in this limbo of one sidedness for 3 seasons. neither of them have become closer, neither of them have confided in one another, but somehow people still ship it? at least luka was able to make a move on marinette lol adrien still repeats the same boring “shes just a friend” line. adrienette is a really boring ship.

lol don’t apologize, you’re absolutely right.

nahte123456 said:

Very minor bit of salt to throw to the pile, but can this show just decide on how strong Miraculous holders are? Yes it's a cartoon and not the focus but in the Furious Fu episode we literally get Ladybug dodging lighting and then Su who seems mostly human and is at least slower then Fu was outspeeding her. It's distracting trying to figure out what is and isn't a serious threat in this show.

The deciding factor in the strength of the miraculous holders is “whatever works for the plot.”

Anonymous said:

At this point the only thing I'm excited for concerning Miraculous Ladybug is when it gets a reboot in like, a decade with actually competent writers

Best case scenario is that Zag goes bankrupt and Disney/Netflix picks up the series and gives it to competent people.

Problem is that the love square has been ruined so badly for me that even a “good” version of it wouldn’t be something I’d be into, but still.

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the problem with having all of Marinette's mistakes result in huge disasters (ex. Feast), is that is gives off the impression that teenagers aren't allowed to make mistakes. This show clearly doesn't like giving second chances to the protagonist, so why would life give one to you? Am I right, kids?

Exactly.

Marinette makes mistakes and suddenly the world is ending.

Anonymous said:

If your gonna watch the show, at least pirate the episodes so the writers dont get your support

Don’t worry, I have no interest in financially supporting the show.

Anonymous said:

ml in a nutshell: wasted potential, then giving themselves more potential, only to turn the rest of it into a dumpster fire

Yup, that’s it.

Anonymous said:

u know, when My Little Pony, Sofia The First, and fanfiction carries out character development, respect, romance, and the main plot better than the original show, especially when the shows mentioned above are aimed more at little girls and the original show is aimed at slightly older audiences... somethings wrong

*sigh*

And then it’s like--people will excuse the show because “it’s a kids’ show” and then I’m just “okay then, why are there actually good kids’ show?”

If shows get a pass for being for children then all childrens’ shows should just not try and be garbage since the standard is so low.

Anonymous said:

ive seen some cool fic ideas/concepts/reviews that made me think: ml could use so much more looking into how a character thinks in some situations. one fic i read had alya in chameleon (i know its been forever since the ep came out but hey) not question lila cus she thought: "hey, lb wouldnt befriend a bad person" w and added a plot line of lila making her think lb was cobsidering replacing rena rougue. like, just a few lines to make them seem better pls?

YES. Like, show us characters’ perspectives and why they’re rolling with the facts that they’re rolling with, otherwise they just end up looking like jerks.

We sort of got it in “Ikari Gozen” with Kagami but of course it was just to make Marinette look bad.

Anonymous said:

You know I’m honestly considering making reviews of this show and if I do I could create hour long rants about the show just from that mans twitter.

Yeaaaaaah, once you had in the Twitter stuff, it just becomes, “okay so this is going to add another hour or two then.”

Anonymous said:

Okay one thing that bothers me is how plain marinette's suits are despite being a DESIGNER. Her multimouse suit it just blocks of color and her ladynoir suit is just grey with green lines. I think the lines are supposed to represent actually clothes. Like the limes on the calves are supposed to make it look like boots but why not actually GIVE her boots. (Right, because she has to have a skintight suit unlike the boys who get some layers.)

THE SHEER DISRESPECT OF HAVING THE FASHION DESIGNER WEAR SUCH A PLAIN SUIT.

It also goes to show who really designs here, like oh, interesting, the girls get skin-tight simplistic bodysuits and the boys gets all the cool stuff--

Anonymous said:

I heard some people in my class saying they watched Miraculous Ladybug for the first time, and they were saying how good it was, and I was like: 'Oh you poor fools. You have NO idea what it's truly like.'

You know what they say: ignorance is bliss.

bat-anon said:

Isn’t it INTERESTING how in Frozer, Luka understands that Marinette is torn between her crushes and continues to support her even though he knows she probably won’t chose him, and in the exact same episode Chat Noir refuses to help save the city because Ladybug told him AGAIN that she wasn’t romantically interested in him? HMMM 🤔😑

dbfgjbdfjkgf

I’M REMINDED OF “FELIX” WHERE IT’S LIKE--THEY WERE CLEARLY TRYING TO SHOW HOW MUCH “BETTER” CHAT NOIR IS THAN FELIX, BUT LUKA WAS THE RESPECTFUL ONE.

Anonymous said:

You know what I want to see? An evil kwami, like they just want to commit crimes. No moral high grounds, just chaotic evil.

That’d be amazing just because I wouldn’t be able to take them seriously.

Anonymous said:

Watching S1 and S3 episodes back to back, it feels like reading salt fics at times, especially in regards to the L². Like, Marinette was happy about weird plans, she both needed and wanted the final push, and most of the time there was at least something coming out of it. Nowadays it just makes her sad, Alya and the girls act *against* her, and we get shipping for shipping's sake.

That’s a good point. The shift from Seasons 1 to 2 to 3 is rather noticeable.

Anonymous said:

I hate how Adrien's busy schedule seems to only matter when it's used to make Marinette feel bad, but the second Marinette has a bit more to do, it somehow has a negative effect on not only her, but also everyone/everything she cares about, like, what's up with that??

I’m reminded of “Lies” here and I hate it. :|

Anonymous said:

Honestly, the way the show treats teenage girls is horse ass. The show treats the teenage girls of this show as if they're stupid, naive, emotional, clumsy, and need a boy to tell them what opinions to have. Marinette is always treated like the show's punching bag and blamed for everything that goes wrong because she's "emotional" or "obsessed with Adrien", Chloe could've been redeemed but the writers would rather keep her a brain-dead Alpha Bitch Valley Girl(even though Gabriel and Felix, the latter of whom is a teenage boy introduced in one episode, get to be treated as redeemable, despite the things they do being far, far worse), and Lila is a conniving, self-absorbed fox.

And even though Kagami seems better, she's still roped into the "girls catfight over an oblivious guy" cliche and so far, all of her akumatizations have been because of Adrien. Whenever Marinette tries to move on from Adrien the other characters tell her what's good for her and steer her in the "right" direction because she apparently can't think for herself, and the writers LOVE to use the girl squad to tell us who Marinette should be with, because they apparently know better than she does.

Plus the show loves to treat all the girls as the same, making them all either fight over Adrien or be obsessed with shipping, as if teenage girls are all one assimilating, homogenized group(also when they treat Marinette as if she's "just as bad as Chloe", rinse and repeat for the other ladies.). Honestly, the show feels like it was written by those types of people who think "teenage girls are the worst" so they make them all mood-swingy, obsessive, showoffs, emotional, and downright clingy.

Plus the way Thomas Astruc talks about the female characters on Twitter is even worse, and only serves to make this more evident: he claims Marinette "has poor control over her emotions"(all the while calling Adrien "perfect"), that Chloe was racist in Kung Food "because she's stupid"(so rather than having that scene serve as a lesson on respecting other's cultures, he just did it to pick on Chloe and make her look "stupid"), that she's incapable of being redeemed, that Lila's unlikable but Gabriel and Felix aren't(even though he claimed Felix was a terrible character and a "cliche", that's not what the show says my guy), and other such nonsense.

Other Twitter users have also called out Miraculous Ladybug and its stereotypical treatment of teenage girls. The only shows I've ever seen do this worse are those pretentious "darker" Magical Girl "deconstructions" aimed at grown men such as Madoka Magica and Yuki Yuna, as well as most shonen/seinen shows such as Naruto and Death Note, which says a lot. Honestly, whenever I feel like watching a show with empowering and respectful depictions of teenage girls that treats them as bright and intelligent and actually unique from one another, I just watch Equestria Girls, Liv and Maddie, LoliRock, ANT Farm, Moesha, PreCure, or Sailor Moon. Because the way the show acts towards them is deplorable, absolutely deplorable.

Yes to all of the above. Almost all of the girls are involved in love affairs in some way, the two teenage girls are irredeemable while Felix got a sympathetic backstory right away (Chloe took forever to get hers which is a failure), and Marinette is flawed because she’s “too emotional” (a misogynistic stereotype).

Anonymous said:

Hi, I'm the anon who got upset at the lady who made the "Miraculous Ladybug is a Mess" rant, and yes, thank you zodiacspirit17 for liking and agreeing with my rant! I'm glad someone else saw that video! And ugh, Marinette learning to love Chat Noir? Really? I don't remember that line but I also don't want to go back and revisit it to make sure so I'll take your word for it. Ew. That was actually one of the things I hated about the Glaciator scene. Chat was supposedly comforting Marinette by taking her to the rooftop where he planned Ladybug's date, and yet only Marinette finds out about Chat's crush on Ladybug and comforts him on that(while rethinking her feelings), while all Chat knows is that Marinette's heart was also broken. He never asks who it is, or tries to help her get over her crush even if he doesn't know it's coincidentally him.

I know it's because of the "love square" but it's unfair that only Chat's love problems are directly addressed. Come to think of it, the reason Chat took Marinette to the rooftop...I know he was doing it in-universe to help her instead of intruding on her personal feelings(which might have also been why he didn't ask her who her crush was, he was probably thinking along the lines of "we don't have to talk about it right now, we can just have fun!"), but meta-wise, since we know she's Ladybug, the writers were probably trying to tell her "See? This is what you could've been doing, but you missed it. Shame on you!" That's a huge issue I have with the show: characters will do things in-universe to help Marinette, but the show has a different motive in mind. Compare to how Tikki gave actual advice to Marinette in Puppeteer 2, but the writers intended that for the statue scene so they could embarrass her in front of Adrien and the thousands of eyes watching the show(except we're not laughing.). Even if characters do support her, the writer is using them as props for her ritualized humiliation. And yet Luka is the problem somehow.

If Marinette needs to learn how to love Chat Noir, then it should at least be balanced out by Adrien learning to Marinette. I'm sick of this double standard that "girls need to learn to accept boys who like them but guys can do what they want". Another thing she said was that "Marinette needs to learn to define herself outside of who she's crushing on." NOPE. NOPE. NOPE. You see, unlike Adrien, Marinette HAS a life outside of who she's crushing on: she has school, she has Kitty Section, she has her "girl squad", she has her parents, she has her outside family, she babysits Alya's and Nino's siblings, and she has OH YEAH HER FASHION DESIGNING! I didn't even count being a superhero since Adrien does that, too. She has so many things to do outside of Adrien, and yet the fact that she makes gifts for Adrien or dreams about Adrien or wants to have kids with Adrien somehow makes her nothing but an "Adrien fangirl"?

First of all, she's the bloody protagonist?! That's such a "Real Women Don't Wear Dresses" argument, that she can't have her own life AND be in love at the same time! And somehow her crushing on Luka also means her life revolves around him, too! But Adrien's life doesn't revolve around Ladybug even though he doesn't really have anything going for him in his ordinary life? Outside of being rich, hot, white, and male, that is? What are his interests and hobbies, besides what Gabriel lets him do to pass the time? He doesn't even like modeling! And the Agreste plot is more about Gabriel, Emilie, and Nathalie than it is about him.

And what about his friendship with Nino? He didn't even care that Nino was getting strung along by Lila with the others! What about his friendship with Chloe that also waxes and wanes? Granted, Chloe's not a GOOD person, which that lady acknowledged, but she at least tried to change and has more development than him, the writers just won't let her change. I hate when people come for Marinette for doing literally anything when the show won't let her have agency and progress. It's so unfair of her and I wish they could see that. These double standards are driving me insane and they're sexist(maybe even a little bit racist, too), and it hurts even more when a woman's doing those things.

(I had to cut off some of this ask because I didn’t get all of it, so I cut it off at the point where it still seemed like a full ask.)

I FEEL THE “GLACIATOR” THING SO BAD. It hurts even worse when you realize that “Frozer” has to take place after “Glaciator,” so Chat Noir heard that Marinette has love problems and then ignored it to ask her for advice about his own love problems later on. The total lack of insensitivity???

Also, the idea that Marinette’s life would revolve around her crush on Luka is stupid. It’s the exact opposite, in fact.

Meanwhile, Adrien has so little going for him and the “interesting” parts of him involve who he’s connected to or what his father has forced him into.

[imthepunchlord]

I’ma be completely honest right now and say that I don’t think anyone (who follows you and knows/shares your feelings on the specials at least) would mind if you were straight up like “yeah sorry guys the New York and Shanghai specials are non-canon for Off to Italy because I really don’t like the way they handled diversity, worldbuilding, or relationships, and the future Rio and Africa ones are non-canon as well for the same reasons” from the get-go. Like those are such valid reasons to cut something out of a story, and it doesn’t seem too different from cutting out certain episodes or starting from a specific season like a lot of ML fanfics do, especially since the specials feel even more removed from the main canon to begin with because of how the writers decided to handle the ML continuity, AND this frees up a bunch of the kwami animal choices used, which would make things exponentially easier for you like you said in both animal choice and character design by having a visual base to already work off of for the ones you pick.

I also don’t think a majority would take issue with me cutting those out either. Because the things they bring in, lore wise, I don’t see anyone talking about. 

No one is talking about the NA Order, and its existence brings in so many questions. 

So I’m going to put this under cut cause I want to go off. I technically don’t have a right to as I didn’t watch either, but I listened to those who did to get an idea and somethings bother me. 

But first, I think the only thing I saw being talked about was LS stuff in the NY special and HM getting pink Thanosed in Shanghai and that’s it. That’s the only stuff I’ve seen between the two specials. And that’s not good if those are the most iconic things to be brought up. 

Anyway, onto my salt. 

Was the NA Order around when Fu made Feast? Why didn’t he work his way to them to pass the Miracle Box to them? Or did he know they exist? Is the NA Order aware that something happened to the Chinese Order? Presuming that they communicate, did they not reach out with how quiet the Chinese Order was and look into it or try to gather lost miraculouses if they did? 

And then there’s the wonder of the historical context. You can’t just casually reveal there’s an NA Order and Native American miraculouses that brings up a lot of questions as the Native people have experienced a lot of wrongs and sufferings in our history and still are facing issues. What does having confirmed Native miraculous mean for America’s bloody history with Native people? 

And then there’s the Shanghai special, bringing in the Renlings and that’s another can of worms. 

Not only are they another magical set from China, cause you know how magical China exclusively is since all magical stuff comes from them, but these are established coming in before miraculouses and were put away because they were “dangerous”. So, what are kwami views on the renlings and vice versa? And from what I’ve seen and heard, I don’t get how they’re dangerous? And then there’s the issue of their power set up, turning the user into an animal, and you got Fei, a Chinese girl, using it. This adds onto character of color being/becoming inhuman, and this is the 2nd special to do so (with Aeon, our official 2nd black girl to appear, being a robot). And this adds onto poc becoming an animal. 

And there’s Mei Shi, who design wise, as a “kwami” I really I like, but, what is Mei Shi? Is Mei Shi a unique kwami? A renling? Or is Mei Shi a 2nd sort of cousin to kwamis to reveal later? I also hear Mei Shi is a guardian but didn’t really do anything as a guardian. I will say, I wish now there was an in between the kwami and renling designs, for sometimes the kwamis are weird and some of the renlings look off or are creepy, and so far, Mei Shi is like the best take for that ideal mixture of both. 

While this is not lore wise related and more nitpicky, I am also bothered with Fei, not really the character herself but more the choices the creators made with her set up. Between her design and her backstory, she is essentially the older concept of Marinette that we didn’t get. 

Visually she’s had tweaks, but you can see that they took big inspirations from Marinette’s old look. How Marinette was going to originally look before they decided to make her more white. 

And then there’s Fei’s backstory: her father being mysteriously murdered. That was Marinette’s first backstory, back in the day of Mini Menace Ladybug, coming home to find her dad mysteriously murdered. 

And adding to this, there are implications that Gabriel might’ve played a role in the murder of Fei’s father, and I’m incredibly salty about that. Fei has more tie in and connection to ML’s plot than Marinette. 

And what frustrates me is that, by set up, they actually could’ve still given this to Marinette. You can cut out Tom and Sabine and very little changes in ML, and you can add more depth to Marinette, who is a bubbly and nice girl who wears her heart on her sleeve and will go over the moon for you if you need her to, but she has a dark thorn in her heart as her parents were mysteriously murdered and she doesn’t know why. 

Keeping in that Gabriel (and potentially Emily) played a role in their death and took something from her parents that they had, this would give Marinette that emotional stake in the plot and direct tie in to Gabriel. You could even set up that her parents had the Butterfly, Peafowl, and/or the book, and at least one or two of those items technically belong to Marinette as they belonged to one of her parents. Peafowl would probably make the most sense as we don’t when they got it or how it even got broken. All we have is that Butterfly and book were found together a year prior to the events of ML. But that comes down to how long ago the murders should be. 

And narratively, this set up would work. 

Marinette’s parents are incredibly removed from her life and are hardly ever seen; it’s also to a point she doesn’t even go to them for advise or help for anything, only Tikki. And they themselves are hardly characters of their own. At the start of the show, which we know know has her being 13 yo, she’s incredibly independent which can back the impression of absent parents. This also really backs her knowing next to nothing about Sabine or the Cheng side of her family, not even knowing the name Sabine used to go by. 

This set up also could’ve set Fu up as a closer mentor and really add to the grandfather-granddaughter theme they were going for, especially if he steps up to act as a guardian for her and secretly trained her to be ready for a miraculous, adding to how he has such faith and trust in this 13 yo to save the city. 

So that is my biggest gripe with Fei, not so much her herself, but the factor that the creators took Marinette’s most interesting and original set up (and design) and gave it to a random character who we are probably never going to see again or even get mentioned again, and is largely here for diversity brownie points and give us half hearted lore that won’t be elaborated on; and Marinette could’ve had this back story and set up instead and actually have a tie in and stake to the plot. 

it was very frustrating to hear. 

So yeah, I am more inclined to cut out the NY and Shanghai special and not count any other specials that come as lore wise, they don’t do anything or what they add is just too much and doesn’t answer much. I think the biggest shame is that there were some big appeals to them. NY and Shanghai actually should’ve been more Adrien and Marinette having their own exclusive adventures, or at least just have them be Marinett’s own adventures. 

I would’ve loved it if the NY Special was instead Marinette having her own adventure with Sparrow and Aeon and have her face a different villain who is not HM. 

And that the Shanghai special was instead giving us a look at Marinette’s Cheng side of the family, and her going to see the ruins of the Chinese Order, facing something supernatural, and potentially this is where she finds the Chinese Zodiac miraculous and brings them back to Fu. If you want to work off the canon Shanghai a bit, perhaps instead of introducing “kwami cousins”, Mei Shi/Meeshi/idk is a lion kwami who distanced himself from his miraculous, went to the ruins, and made himself a Guardian Lion to watch over what remains. They work together and he approves of Marientte taking the Zodiac, and he travels back to somewhere in Africa hinting at the special that will have Lady Lion. 

This also nicely sets up why Fu didn’t release any of the Zodiac to help LB, as what he had of the 5, Cat would’ve been the best partner to work with LB and it was worth risking the very two HM is after. Revealing that he has the Zodiac from the start didn’t work in their favor. 

[chaseatinydream]

pirate king (38) || atz

It’s cold here.

The second you step into the tunnel before you, the stone wall rises behind you once more, plunging you and your captain into darkness, the only light that reaches you is at what you presume to be the end of the tunnel. It’s far dryer than you expected for the lair of a sea witch, but you’re definitely not complaining.

Hongjoong takes your hand and moves in front of you, armed with his cutlass. You think about drawing yours as well, but wielding a blade with your non-dominant hand is probably going to do more damage than any actual help, so you refrain from doing so.

Every step you take sends echoes bouncing eerily off the walls around you, so you hold on tighter to your captain’s hand and stick to his side, shying away from the walls. Hongjoong’s grip on your hand is firm and warm, pulling you with him as the two of you finally reach the end of the cave and step into the light.

To your surprise, you’re not in a cave anymore.

It’s a beach.

After joining a pirate crew, you had been on the sea for most of your time since awakening. And when you hadn’t, you had often been at docks or beaches, and yes, you would like to say you had seen many beautiful beaches in your short “life” here so far.

But this beach is like none other you’ve seen before.

Tall, jagged cliffs rise around you like fingers stretching for the grey, stormy sky above you. No water touches your skin yet, but you can taste it in the air you breathe that a torrential downpour is on the brink of falling. The white, foaming sea ploughs forward and would have crashed down upon the beach you are on if it weren’t for the rocky reef barriers breaking them apart, sea spray flying into the air.

“I hope this is symbolism for something bad coming in the near future.” You mutter grimly, but before your captain can reply, there’s someone standing before you.

You don’t know how she got here. One second she wasn’t there and one second she simply was, looking completely calm and unruffled as if she had been there the whole time and you two merely hadn’t noticed her.

You nearly leap out of your skin in fright, Hongjoong handling this surprise a lot better than you are. He pulls you behind him in one smooth motion, tip of his cutlass pointed right towards the woman.

“Who are you?”

The first thought that registers in your mind is that she’s beautiful.

No, beautiful is actually too tame of a word to describe her. When the fortune teller on Tortuga had spoken of a sea witch, you had expected for someone that looked much like her, an old hag draped in rags with occult symbols and beads, perhaps missing several teeth and smelling like she hadn’t known a bar of soap her whole life. But you’re almost guilty that you thought about her that way, because this woman is completely different from what you expected.

Her lovely, slender figure is adorned in a sheer golden dress that brushes the sand behind her and flies with the wind like a bird in the sky, woven from a material that for some reason you recognise even though you’ve never seen it before. Sea silk, you realise in shock, a textile so valuable it is actually worth more than its weight in gold.

In stark contrast to her gown, her hair is a midnight black, flowing over her shoulders in waves and plunging down her back to her waist like a inky waterfall, the strands gently brushing soft, petal lips.

Then you meet her eyes.

People say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. If that statement holds true, then the woman before you must have an eternal one, because her eyes are a bottomless blue that remind you of the deepest, most mysterious depths of the ocean. There doesn’t seem to be an end to the infinite wisdom and grace of her, and when you look at her, face to face, she merely gives you a gentle smile.

When she moves, something abruptly slams into your mind that she isn’t a statue and is, in fact, a living, breathing human being. The smile she presents you with is bright enough to turn a man blind, and you feel as if your eyes have just been blessed by the mere sight of her. She opens her mouth to speak.

“Welcome, Choi Chin Hae.”

You don’t even realise you’re gaping at her until Hongjoong lifts one hand to shut your mouth, which closes with an audible clop. He doesn’t seem the least bit fazed by her, however, his sword still focused on the woman with an unwavering hand.

“I asked, who are you?”

The woman merely shows a teasing smile and quirks a brow at him playfully, as if she’s part of a little secret that he’s not included in.

“You would battle all manner of sea storms and sirens to reach this island, yet not know what you are searching for?” She shakes her head, as if disappointed. “Even if you have your suspicions on who I am, I know full well who you are, Kim Hongjoong.”

Every word she speak reverberates with power and now that you hear her voice for the second time, it sends shivers down your spine. You don’t know how to describe it, but her voice sounds like waves sweeping against the shore in the early morning light. You can feel a powerful pulse around her, a billion times more intense than your master’s, like invisible riptides in the air around her.

Your captain’s eye narrows. “You’re the sea witch?” You can hear the confusion in his voice and the woman nods, each simple action effortlessly graceful and elegant as a dancer.

“That is what most call me, yes.” She gazes towards you with those fathomless blue eyes. “But the name my mistress bestowed upon me is Eldoris.”

Eldoris. Even her name sounds beautiful.

“Well then, Lady Eldoris,” Hongjoong’s tone is carefully polite, but his grip on the sword is still tight. “Would you mind if you answered a few of our questions?”

Eldoris’ smile widens to show pearly white teeth. “I will answer all the questions you have for me to the best of my ability.”

There’s something tugging inside you that’s warning you that everything has been too easy up till now and your captain obviously feels it too, but there’s nothing he can do about it. Instead, he merely glances at you, encouraging you to move forward and ask what you want to know.

For a moment you just stand there as the two of them look at you expectantly. Even though up till this point your mind was overflowing with questions, now that you’re face to face with the prospect of getting real answers, your mind suddenly stutters to a stop, completely blank.

So much had happened. There is so much you want to know. Where are you to begin?

“First,” You start off with the simplest question you can think of, “What do you know about me?”

The sea witch tilts her head to the side as she searches your face intently, eyes skimming your features in a way that makes you a little uneasy.

“A month ago, you awoke in a prison cell in the town of Raguza wearing the coat of a Royal Navy officer.” She begins softly, her gaze holding yours captive as she lays out your story since awakening. “You were sentenced to death by hanging, but managed to escape when there was a raid on the town by the pirate band ATEEZ. You hid on the ship when it sailed away, and from there on became part of the crew.”

You know you’re supposed to be shocked by how she knows all of this, but you’ve been through a lot, from learning about the fact you’re actually a golem to how Seonghwa’s family actually were pirates. The novelty of having near unbelievable feats being dropped on you had kind of worn off after a while.

You swallow nervously as you begin to probe a little deeper. “Then do you know about what I am?”

At this she pauses, as if thinking about how to phrase her words very carefully in a way that would be the most accurate. The wind sweeps around her, tossing her dark hair into into the air as she answers your question. “I am aware that you are considered to be, in part, a golem of clay that has only existed for a moon.”

Your breath catches in your throat. It really is as the fortune teller had told you back on Tortuga. You had made a deal with the woman before you, a sea witch, to gain this body that you have.

As if sensing the turmoil within you, Hongjoong takes your hand in his gently, squeezing tight to let you know he’s still there.

His comfort gives you the courage you need to ask the question you need answered. You take a deep breath and finally spill what you’ve been intending to ask her this whole time.

“Did you… make me?”

There’s a long silence as the sea witch stands opposite you on the beach, her eyes filled with secrets as she meets your desperate gaze. Then she nods her head very slowly, as if this time she’s trying to be deliberately vague.

“I did make your body.” Eldoris speaks softly as she looks you over with an intense gaze. A chilling shiver wraps around your throat and dances down your spine, you feel as if someone has just walked right across your grave. She’s studying you like how a potter would study her work, her eyes tracing every inch of your body.

Hongjoong’s fingers tighten around yours.

You force down the unease and meet the sea witch in the eye the best you can.

“What exactly do you mean by ‘make my body’? The fortune teller I visited told me she had never seen a vessel crafted so beautifully.” You don’t mean to sound like you’re flattering yourself, but it is what she said, at least. You want to know how exactly you’re different from other golems, why the fortune teller had been able to tell you that you were unique in an instant.

Eldoris’ deep blue eyes narrow slightly. “I built your body from the clay found along the rocks worn away by the sea that have bathed in moonlight for aeons, before the mortals came into existence. With my own hands I crafted you, a feat unheard of by any other magician. To animate golems, a magic slip is placed in their mouths by their creators to represent the breath of life of the Creator. They then move, act upon their master’s wishes, but you see, Chin Hae… there’s one thing that sets you apart from all other golems.”

You find yourself unconsciously leaning forward, desperate to know what she has to say next. As far as you know, there is no slip of paper in your mouth. What makes you different?

“You have a heart.”

The very heart she’s speaking about stops in your chest for a second, as if aware that the witch before you is speaking about it. You remember the starry night on the beach, watching the clay of your fingers run with the tide until the mysterious man with eyes as green as the earth had plunged a knife into your chest, placing it inside.

A clay heart.

The moment the heart had been put in your body, clay had become skin and flesh, where there had once been nothing but earth, blood flowed through your veins. You felt the wind and water of the sea with your own fingers, felt air rush into your lungs with each breath you took. For the first time in your life, you felt a heartbeat thud in your chest.

But how?

How was that man able to turn mere clay into… this?

“Powerful magic.” Eldoris says, her voice drifting to you over the wind. You’re startled into shock when you realised she can read your mind with a single glance at your face. “Powerful, ancient magic that I could never even dream about.”

A hysterical snort escapes you. All this talk about arcane and magic and ancient beings is really starting to scare you, goosebumps crawling up your skin. “I suppose not all golems also have this friendly green eyed man to turn their clay into skin?” You shake your head at your own joke, but when the sea witch answers you, her voice is perfectly serious, solemn, even.

“No. Only you.”

You’re stunned with disbelief. What would this supposedly immensely powerful being want with a mere clay golem like you? Why would he bother giving you a heart? And why would he say that everything is going according to plan?

Are you… a pawn in some scheme of his?

But that feeling of desperately reaching out for him comes back to you. Even though you couldn’t recognise his face, part of you seems to remember him, you just know somehow that you trusted him with everything you were.

Then something strikes you as odd.

If golems were merely animated beings of clay, without conscience or heart, then how did you have memories even before the heart was put into your chest?

Your eyes fly wide open in shock all of a sudden.

“Eldoris…” You ask desperately, too anxious to bother addressing her respectfully. Something about it doesn’t feel right to you, anyway. “Before my body was created… was I someone else?”

Her expression doesn’t change in the slightest, but you can somehow see the genuine surprise that flashes across her face. Beside you, you can hear Hongjoong draw in a surprised breath.

“Chin Hae-”

“Yes.”

That one single word leaves her lips with so much surety, as if she needs you to understand that you were someone before this all. Shock shoots through your entire body. It’s not that you had no memories, on the other hand, your memories must have been erased somehow. You were someone.

Her eyes don’t leave yours, beseeching, as if willing you to know something that you don’t.

“Then do you know who I was, how I got into this body, why I have no memories?”

Suddenly, Eldoris’ eyes darken at your words. Her voice drops to something more grave, her tone almost warning, but you don’t realise it in your impatience to get the answers you’ve been waiting for since your awakening.

“I do.” She answers, but her words are grim.

Finally. Your identity and memories are finally in your reach now.

“Can you tell me?” You almost breath, desperate for your answers. You’re finally at the end of your journey now, you can finally discover who you once were and put an end to all of this agony within you.

Eldoris meets your anguished gaze with a calm one of her own, folding her hands elegantly before her and opening her mouth to speak once more.

The word that leaves her lips is unbelievably simple, yet more infinitely complex than you can comprehend.

“No.”

[calliecat93]

TMNT 2k12

I’ve had such an upsurge of my TMNT 2012 content as of late haha. I wonder why? Did interest get renewed and I just never noticed? Meh. Anyways!

my all-time ultimate fave character: April O’Neil

a character I didn’t used to like but now do: Hmm… that’s a good question. Slash maybe? IDK.

a character I used to like but now don’t: I still like him, but I grew more and more frustrated with Mikey as the show went on until by the time it was over I was just done with his lack of maturity/infantilizing in and out of universe

a character I’m indifferent about: Pretty much all of Shredder’s henchmen. Some started interesting like Fishdface and Tiger Claw, then just became one-dimensional by the end. Bebop and Rocksteady wertre probably the most entertaining, but them being brought baack robbed the other Foot Clan villaina and Stockman was just utterly wasted. Karai no longe rbeing a villain really robbed the Foot Clan any remaining depth.

a character who deserved better: April due to her plotline ultimateley being left open-ended with no resolution and Splinter if you’re aware of how everything with him ultimateley ended.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into: Pretty much any Mikey pairing. Him with Renet was cute, but Renet only appeared like… what? Three or so times? So that wasn’t much. Shinigami… IDK what they were even trying to do and they gave up on it almost instantly. Honestly I think Mikey is too immature to have a romantic relationship so I’m not in favor of most ships with him.

a ship I’ve never been able to get over: Probably the only one I’m still a fan of is Yoshi/Tang-Shen.

a cute, low-key ship: Raph/Mona. The other ship I’m still a fan of. No overdone pining that takes too long or teenaged stupidity, they just go for it with them and I love it. It works well for Raph’s character as well, he can at least brag that he has the most successful love life after watching Leo and Donnie be stupid XD

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it: None I can think of. Maybe Apritello? IDK if it’s still popular or not, but you eeither loved it or hated it back when the show was airing. It has it’s issues witht he execution and how it ultimateley ended unresolved. But it’s still cute and I still love their relationship espcially when Donnie became better at handeling his feelings.

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened: Are there any that became canon that I have issues with? Hmm… none come to mind.

my favourite storyline/moment: Storyline… hmm, IDK. My favorite episode is still The Invasion because a few bits aside, they got everything right int hat episode. The build-up, the tension, the action, the emotions,t he sense of dread as everything that we knew and cared for came crumbling down… it’s still the best episode(s) in the entire series. Which I feel the seocnd half of S3 REALLY mitigated it’s impact, but I’ll rant about that when I hopefully do that Ten Year Revisit series I want to do for TMNT.

a storyline that never should have been written: The Space Arc. A lotof S4’s issues could have been soloved had they just not done the space arc at all, or focused S5 on the Foot Clan front insterad of ending it at S4 and filling S5 with dide-stories. I have a theory as to whyt hat happened, but regardless the Space Arc ruined what should have been the biggest seaosn of the show as the main story reached it;s conclusion, but mad eit feel crammed and rushed as a result. Which we’d lost a lot of good stuff like the last three episodes of S3, the Aeon Crystal subplot, and Fugitoid, but if losing them allowed for a better story then that’s worth losing.

my first thoughts on the show: When TMNT 2012 premiered, I was in a huge slump. Aside form Wild Kratts, The Penguins of Madagascar TV series, and The Legend of Korra I had lost faith in animation. CN, Nick, and Disney had mostly lost my interest (CN I was especially angry at due to the CN Real situation) though Nick had regianed some faith cause of Penguins and LoK, Disney’s films while improving hadn’t regained my faith due to the CGI switch (I hadn’t seen Tangled yet), and RL matters at the time were giving me less and less time to be invested in it. I was more interest in classical animation and was pretty much set on staying there aside from the shows I previously mentioned. I put it on TMNT 2012’s premiere because nothing else was on and at the very least I could enjoy hearing Rob Paulsen. I was blown away. The animaiton, the fights, the characters, the voice acting, it was the best thing I had seen in a looong time. It was the first time I got up to see new episode premiered in years. I was new to Tumblr by then so I was able to ge tinvolved int he fandom very quickly, which really defined my Tumblr career. It was just so cool and I loved it~!

my thoughts now: The show was great, but not without it’s issues. It’s so much easier to realize and point them out now that it’s over and the euphoria has long since worn off. I gave up on it around mid-S4. I stopped watching the premieres and just slowed down until by S5, I’d oretty much stopped all together. My interest was dead. Int he early days I couldn’t imagine life without the show. But by then I was fully into othershows/fandoms and thus I had no problems washing my hands clean of TMNT 2012. Does that mean I hate the show? No. I still have all my DVD’s and comics, as I said I’m planning a 10 year series, and regardless of how it ended TMNT 2012 both got me into Tumblr/fandom culture (for better and worst) and renewed my love for animaiton. Hell it single-handedly made me go form hating CGI that wasn’t Pixar and blaming it for animaiton’s downfall to realizing how misguided that belief was and becoming more open-minded. TMNT 2012 was a huge part of my life, and I’m grateful for that.

[adrimarinoirbug]

Miraculous New York HISHE(how it should have ended)

it’s worth the read

“but ms. bustier would have let us” alix cried.

“no. every student is to keep their seats” ms. mendeleiv shot back.

“she gets air sick, it would be better if she could sit at the center of the plane.” alya called out.

“wha—no. Sorry marinette but you must sit in your assigned seat” she finished.

Marinette walked slowly back to her seat next to adrien. she sat down next to him and kept her head low.

“i get it marinette. you don’t like me and that’s okay. if you want my bodyguard can sit in between us if that’s easier,” adrien said, with his head low too.

“oh no. no no no. it’s actually the exact opposite” she replied hesitantly.

“really? but i don’t get it. why is it so hard for you to talk to me, or even look at me? friends have no trouble doing that,”

“it’s because,” marinette looked toward alya who was giving her a thumbs up, “it’s because i like you more than that—more than a friend,” she said, now looking at him. It was a bit awkward with them just sitting there. adrien just sat there, looking forward, processing the information he was just given. before he could say anything, marinette just kept going.

“and you probably like kagami more than a friend. i’m just a friend to you and i understand that. but that’s why i’ve been acting the way i am”

“i don’t like kagami like that. it’s just my heart is set on someone i can’t have,” he said solemnly. his head hung low again.

“i know how you feel adrien,” marinette said, touching his knee. he looked to her hand, then reached for it.

“maybe it’s time i try for someone else,” he smiled. marinette calmed down and apologized for her actions. adrien assured her that it was okay, and that he was just oblivious.

“hindsight is 20/20 right?” he said with a small laugh. Marinette babbled on and adrien just kept nodding and inserting commentary when needed. they were the last ones awake on the plane. well, adrien was the last one awake. marinette fell asleep practically mid sentence. she is sleeping in her chair when she shivers a bit. Adrien remembers that they turned the air towards her at the beginning of the flight. he turns the air off and grabs a blanket that he puts over the both of them. sleepy marinette warms up and then cuddles next to adrien. he is a bit surprised at first but it reminds of the one day at star train so he just goes with it. they are both peacefully sleeping on the long flight.

Then marinette has to get up and go to the bathroom. same events as the show occurs. then this next part happens right after adrien renounced plagg. marinette didn’t want to lose the ring, so she just put it on her thumb(becuase that’s the only finger it fit). marinette is slowly walking back to the class and actually gets there before adrien.

“so. where were you two huh?” alya says with a grin. marinette gave her a puzzled look.

“you are wearing his ring. something must have happened. did ladybug coop you two up like she did for me and nino?”

“i wish that happened. i got news that someone close to me left. and i just found this ring on the ground” marinette said. not fully putting the pieces together. it’s not until adrien shows up with bare hands where she realizes who her beloved partner was.

“i’m so sorry marinette do you wanna talk—“

“Thanks alya! i have something i need to tell him” marinette interrupted.

she runs down the stairs and meets adrien and his car. he says the same line from the special.

“wait. adrien. can i ride with you for just a second? i have something to tell you.” marinette said. adrien, unsure of what he should do, hesitantly said yes. he didn’t know what was going to happen. they both hop in the car and sit for a few seconds before marinette speaks.

“so...did you lose your ring? i found one on the ground earlier.” she says while showing adrien her hand with his ring. she knows full well that he is, well was chat noir.

“how did you get that? i gave that to someone i trust,” he said with a question in his voice. this poor oblivious boy still didn’t understand what was happening.

“random question, can you make sure no one hears this part?” marinette asked. Adrien then pushed some buttons then nodded towards her.

“okay so you clearly aren’t getting the point. i know who you are, who you actually are. i know you renounced plagg and then gave your ring back to ladybug,” she paused, waiting for adrien to process it. she could see the gears working in his head.

“but how do you know,” he started. then plagg flew out of marinette’s bag.

“kid! are you stupid? she’s ladybug!” plagg said. then tikki also flew out of marinette’s bag fans started going off at plagg.

“plagg! you were supposed to let her finish!” tikki cried.

“i am just hungry. adrien, do you have cheese by any chance?” he said, flying toward adrien.

“lucky for you i have a stash in my bag” adrien said reaching for his bag. he took out a single slice of cheese and threw it to plagg.

“adrien, do you have another piece i could have? marinette ran out of cookies,” tikki said politely. Adrien then proceeded to give her a piece of cheese too.

“aww sugar cube! you do like this stinky cheese” tikki was enjoying it until he said something.

“it’s just that i happen to be hungry as well stinky sock,”

both adrien and marinette laughed at their kwamis interaction.

“so wait, marinette. you’re ladybug? the one i’ve been fighting side by side with? the clumsy girl who sits behind me in class?” adrien said sitting all the way back in his chair.

“i know that chat noir was in love with ladybug, but the real ladybug was in love with the real chat noir,” marinette replied. she said it in a sorrowful way. she then continued. “You are probably disappointed, but remember: ‘i’m mah-mah-ma adly clumsy. i’m so clumsy’?” she said lifting his face.

“how could i forget? that was the day when i fell in love with the girl behind the mask,” he said.

“the girl behind the mask? i thought you liked who i was with the mask.”

“with or without the mask, i still like you,”

“but just as friends right?” marinette said with a small smile.

“oh my goodness! i am so sorry about all of those times that i friendzoned the girl i love and that one time i—“

“it’s okay kitty. i forgive you,” she said taking off the ring and putting it in his palm. “just please stay by my side always.”

“always m’lady,”

it took them a bit before they realized that they stopped the car when adrien was pushing all of the buttons. they looked at each other fondly.

“just kiss already!” plagg yelled.

Marinette, Adrien, and Tikki were surprised on what he said.

“what? i just ship adrienette,”

adrien sat there, confused, “adrien...ette? but that’s both of our—“

marinette did it. she kissed him on the lips, in the middle of his sentence. he was surprised at first, but soon fell into the kiss too.

“finally! some good content here. hey sugar cube why don’t we—“

tikki followed marinette’s example and used it to quiet plagg.

“i have to go kitty, but i will always be there for you. no matter what,” marinette gave one last hug before she got out of the car.

“no matter what m’lady” he said with a wink.

“tikki let’s go,” marinette said as she stood just out of the car.

“woah sugar cube,” plagg started.

“see you in paris stinky sock,” tikki said before finding her place in marinette’s bag.

then the special ends the same way, but adrien already has his miraculous by the time aeon finds marinette. then season 4 begins, post reveal.

[heartschoicegames]

Heart’s Choice Author Interview: RoAnna Sylver, “Dawnfall”

Find true love and family with a pirate crew at the ends of the universe, where aliens, ghosts, and portals open the space between worlds...and your heart. You are a Navigator, one who creates and guards portals from one dimension to another, wary of the liminal sea between them.

Your universe is made of two worlds: one contains the magic-infused world of Zephyria, and the other, the dystopian space station Eclipse. The worlds are balanced, until one day, an explosive disaster, a deadly energy storm, and an infamous pirate—the Ghost Queen—upend your life and plunge you into a race to save both worlds.

Dawnfall is a 232,000 word interactive romance novel by RoAnna Sylver,  one of the first set of games releasing with the launch of Heart’s Choice. I sat down with the author, RoAnna Sylver, to talk about writing interactive romance. Heart’s Choice games release December 2nd.

Dawnfall has frankly an insanely wonderful setting for a romance game. Tell me about the aliens, the pirates, the ghosts, and the alien-pirate-ghosts.

Hi there! I’m so glad you think this sounds fun! Yeah, Dawnfall is weird as heck, and that’s one of the things I love about this story. It’s weird in a way I don’t think we’ve seen much of before. I really just tried to put in everything I find fun or interesting, and that I’ve always wanted to write. Dawnfall started out as a total brain-candy project, and runs on pure Rule of Cool. Pirates? Yes. Magic? Yes. A slice of cyberpunk? Hell yes. Eerie ghosts and faerie-tale influences and memory-sharing potions? Giant bird people? The power of rock n’roll? Yes, yes, yes.

And also everybody’s dateable, and in a couple cases, dating each other. We weave a tangled web, but I think it’s a pretty badass and spectacular web.

You seem to really neatly straddle the genre fence here with a romance and sci-fi/fantasy. What was challenging about cramming all of that into one game?

Thank you so much for saying that. I’ve always adored SFF, and there’s so much in this genre-collection, so many extremes and concepts and contrasting colors, that I couldn’t limit myself to picking just one to play with. This weird game-book is kind of a love letter to fantasy and science fiction and haunted house stories and cyberpunk adventures—I thought a lot about the Disney movie Treasure Planet for its genre-blending beauty, and the Bioware game Mass Effect for its array of fascinating, multidimensional alien cuties to interact with and date… and then turned it up to eleven.

I guess you’d expect the challenge to be in making it all fit together/be “believable,” but I kind of threw that out the window. I don’t expect anyone to find it ‘realistic’ (setting-wise anyway; I tried to make every character ring true of course), and I don’t really care if someone thinks it’s silly, or doesn’t take it seriously. It is silly in a lot of ways. DAWNFALL is a giant ridiculous queer space magic pirate adventure, and the only goal is fun. If you have fun, I’ve done my job, and there should be something fun in here for everyone.

Did you have a favorite NPC you enjoyed writing most?

Honestly I love them all so much in different ways, and I know them so well by now it’s really second nature. Their voices come so easily and they’re all so much fun. The Queen’s swagger is awesome though, and her mental voice/mannerisms probably come through especially clearly. I love Zenith’s vulnerable moments when xie lets xir guard down and lets go of the need to entertain or please. I love Averis’s journey and growth from cute wibbly nerd to a confident swashbuckler (who is also still a cute wibbly nerd). I love how deeply Oz feels, how strongly he loves and remembers and honors memory, and how unafraid he is to show softness and warmth. And I love a certain spoilery ghost-babe and how they’re so full of joy at the beauty of life.

I do want to give special mention to Aeon, though. This is a story about connection, and I wanted to show that sibling bonds are every bit as important and strong as romantic or any other. I also wanted to show a complex, multidimensional antagonist figure who holds heartbreaking secrets along with authority, and is genuinely trying to do what she thinks is the best thing, and wants what’s best for you, the PC, even if you might not always agree. Her balance between being so emotionally guarded and determined and unyielding, while hopefully being extremely easy to read and tell what she wants and fears and loves—spoiler: you; she loves you!—was a challenge I hope I pull off.

…Also I enjoy any time Vyranix gets his pompous feathered ass handed to him. I think we all know a Vyranix, or at least of one, and it’s always fun to take them down, even in fantasy.

Who would you be romancing as a player?

I’m gonna say “everyone,” and here it won’t actually be cheating, because you can romance everyone! At once! In varying degrees/relationship dynamics and attractions. You don’t see a lot of polyamory-friendly games or books or anything really, and this is an incredibly important thing for me. The second I got the idea for Dawnfall I knew it had to let players romance anyone they wanted and show polyamory in a realistic, healthy light. I’m also a-spec (asexual and aromantic), and having not just good representation but being actively included and welcomed and celebrated in fiction is so huge too.

Dawnfall is a romance of course, being part of Heart’s Choice, but one of the single most vital elements for me is making it inclusive for aromantic and asexual players and player-characters. Essentially, I wanted to write a romance that didn’t penalize players for not experiencing the attractions the way we’re otherwise expected or required—and I’m so grateful that my amazing editors and community not only accepted but supported everything I was trying to do here. (It’s so refreshing not to have to fight for inclusion and freedom. It shouldn’t be, but it is.)

And that’s where the concept of “Heart-Stars” and “Same-Feathers” came from. I’ve never seen anything honor queerplatonic relationships like I’m trying to do here, and I want everyone, of every sexuality and attraction, to feel like they have a place here and can experience this adventure without limits. And I wanted to show that it’s a very normal thing, hence this being the same for the human characters as well as alien. (One of the nonbinary characters being human is also no mistake. I love me some wild alien genders, but there are tons of awesome nonbinary humans too!)

…That being said, I think I gave Averis most of my anxiety-issues, and would really just like to curl up with Oz and watch The Great British Bake-Off. That sounds like a perfect night in my books.

What were some of the things you found surprising about the game-writing process?

Coding was definitely the biggest learning curve. I’d never coded anything before in my life, and it’s such a new skillset to learn, entirely different from any kind of writing I’ve ever done. Sometimes it felt rewriting my brain, which did not at all do this intuitively—and also sometimes like I bit off much more than I could chew (first game ever being not only a huge piece of interactive fiction, but a polyamorous romance with aro and ace possibilities, and so many more variables than expected!), but it’s been worth it. Entirely. If my writing makes anyone feel seen and accepted and invited to have fun as they are, it’s worth every bit of struggle.

Also, oddly, interactive fiction is in some ways easier for me than writing a plain old book! Probably because I love AUs so much, and every choice in a game is like writing a tiny AU of the story, so I get to do the same scenes several different ways. My ADHD-brain finds something about this extremely satisfying, most likely because it somehow feels more like multitasking! Several stories in one, and if I like two ideas, I don’t have to pick just one to write!

Honestly though, I think the most surprising part is just being done, and…that I could do this at all. It was so huge, and took so long, and I learned so much, and every day I’m just kind of going “who the hell am I?” about doing all of this. I’m proud of it. I did a cool thing. And trying to get better at saying that.

And, what are you working on now?

I always have about 8 active projects going at once (which shouldn’t come as a surprise after last question!), but my next interactive fiction game is with Tales/Fable Labs! It’s shaping up to be a Dawnfall-sized project, but a little faster-moving and action-y.

It’s called Every Beat Belongs To You, and it’s a romantic thriller that feels like Twin Peaks meets Mr. Robot, with a smattering of Repo: The Genetic Opera. A creepy Pacific Northwest town with a secret (and a rash of ritualized murders), a super-slick medical research company whose flagship product is a 100% perfect synthetic heart, a mysterious new-age group, and a sister who went missing just before discovering how it’s all connected. Also five simultaneously-dateable (including ace and aro ships!) cuties of varying genders! Who will you trust with your heart?

I’m very excited about Everybeat, which should be just as queer, polyam, exciting, and weird as all my stuff! Aside from that, I’m working on Stake Sauce Book 2, its companion f/f vampire series Death Masquerade, and Chameleon Moon Book 3. I’m not always working…sometimes there are videogames, and sleep. But I really hope to have a lot more fun things to share soon!

Oh, and depending on how this weird, fun thing goes, I do have some ideas for prequel Dawnfall stories; maybe games, maybe books, but the ideas are there. The world—worlds, really—is so huge, and I’m not done playing in it yet! I also have some character art drawn, and I want to do a lot more of them. It’s another way to show love.

So thank you so much! I really hope Dawnfall is as fun to everyone to read/play as it was for me to write. I can’t wait to share it with you!

[sparda3g]

Black Clover Chapter 207 Review

The battle is on! Asta has entered the battle, for he is the hope to defeat the Devil. But that is not to say that he won’t be needing anyone’s help. This is Black Clover, where everyone can be essential. If you don’t believe that, then right from the beginning will show you. Despite Asta being the best chance they have to win, thanks to anti-magic, he can’t win alone since the Devil is just too powerful. Hell, he could have died just by Blade Storm. Thankfully, it’s reassuring that everyone else won’t stand by and become cheerleaders. It’s a cool scene of everyone working together, protecting and saving Asta.

One interesting piece that comes from that scene is Yuno’s awareness of Licht’s presence. It gives him that nostalgic feeling for some reason. I don’t know if it’s the Elf’s spirit inside or Yuno himself thinking, but more and more clues keep suggesting him is related to Licht. It would make sense prior to the aftermath of the Demon God, but it’s a bit confusing since the time gap is huge. In fact, we still don’t know who left Yuno and Asta to the orphanage. That’s a mystery itself right there.

Secre’s MVP streak doesn’t stop; probably never at this rate. She repairs Lumiere’s arm with her sealing magic. I didn’t even think of that, but this is One Piece’s level of possibility. In short, that’s very helpful. I don’t know if it’s due to Lumiere’s body being partially stone, but either way, that’s brilliant. Another tease ensue with Asta getting warmer on the conclusion of Secre’s identity. I can’t wait for him to realize for who she is. It will be hilarious. I wonder getting pinched was a good enough hint though. It’s no pecking, but close enough.

Her streak continues to impress due to her actions, but if you want her words to express her foundation, then this chapter does its job. I’m enjoying the theme of any magic is useful and with Secre expressing her thoughts against the Devil, it’s satisfying. Her words are backed up not only by Lumiere’s words, though his thoughts show how gentle he is to everyone, but the series as a whole. It’s not like it’s trying to shove the idea when we have been seeing one-man army type of fighting. Yes, there will be a strong user, but like One Piece in a sense, anyone can be really strong when you are invested. Secre is all kinds of best girl; Noelle, you got to return quickly.

Like the chapter’s title implied, the main highlight is the ultimate attack and Licht is the man to pull it off. The Devil insinuate that his other dimension magic will devour everyone in the bottom floor soon. It was given, but this clarify the ticking time bomb for the heroes. Licht knows it, so it’s time for him to activate Spirit Bomb or Spirit Sword. Well, that’s not what they are, but it’s similar.

Licht calls upon his brethren to share their mana with him, including Yuno’s. I thought it’s a smart move on Tabata to allow us to see what’s going on elsewhere without really interrupting the main battle or pulling a “meanwhile.” That way, we maintain the hype. That and it’s good to know the current status.

Fuegoleon has won the battle and already flying away from those “leeches.” Charmy is charming; got her sweet revenge. I wonder if she can devour those things. I chuckled with Charla’s glow blinding Yami. Nozel is still chasing after others, so no progress has been made yet. Noelle and Jack are still fighting Fana and Mereoleona won her battle. It’s interesting to note that Charmy and Noelle’s location aren’t swarmed by those things, so they are unaware at this time.

The ultimate magic’s name is pretty long, but pretty cool nonetheless. Not sure what would be called officially, but it’s Sword Ultimate Magic: Demon-Dweller Sword-Supreme Aeon. It’s the ultimate slash of hell (not literally), like a Spirit Sword, and it actually obliterated the Devil. What a way to end the arc. Good work, team! Joking aside, sadly, the Devil continue to be the most broken character thus far. The heart remained and creepily speaks like a head, regenerate the entire body. That is Berserk kind of freakiness. The art really feels like Berserk in Shounen law, and I like it.

Despite failing, it’s pretty significant to see the ultimate attack in play for couple of reasons. One is to establish the idea of ultimate attack. It sounds like a fighting game idea, and I’m all in for that. Seriously, it would mean we could potentially see other characters to perform one someday, since the series will continue. It makes sense since Licht is top tier, so it’s reasonable for someone like him to have it. The other reason is to establish the open path for Asta to take.

Licht already show hints that Asta’s swords can be used more than simply taking mana away. Once again, it makes sense given that the Grimoire was once his. This is a way to say more possibilities are there; Asta just need to find it. I like this direction because one would think this is the norm from this point forward; swinging left and right all day. However, with many new swords open more ways to utilize the skills. Not to mention, it is not betraying the established style of Asta, rather evolve it in a convincing manner. Unless he obtains magic as a person, this works. Therefore, the cliffhanger got me intrigued to know what he is going to next.

This was a pretty good chapter with really good artwork and pacing. The fight is going well so far, Secre continued her MVP streak, and the ultimate attack was pretty cool, especially the build-up. It’s good to see the status of other characters; Charmy continue to amuse me. The cliffhanger made me curious on what Asta is planning to do. I don’t think he will master a new technique on the spot, but it’s going to be worth a shot.

[sjrresearch]

Playing the Battlefield: Exploring World War II and Video Games

How many times have you disembarked from an Allied LCVP and scrambled up the blood-soaked beaches of Normandy? We’ve joined the fight in Europe, flew over Pacific waters, and navigated warships through the Atlantic, all to revisit the global conflict of World War II. While video games may seem an odd source for information regarding the Second World War, developers have proven time and time again that it’s not an outlandish concept. Digital adventures are often used to recreate the conflicts of yesteryear. While the education they offer may be surface-level, these games make people interested in history in a way a textbook cannot.

World War II is undoubtedly the most popular historical event in the video game industry. Since the 1980s, developers have been utilizing the conflict of the 40s as a backdrop for their adventures. Games like Eastern Front (Atari, 1981) and Castle Wolfenstein (Muse Software, 1981) launched an entire genre of games that is still being expanded upon today. From first-person shooters to real-time strategy titles, the Second World War has been digitized more times than anyone should care to count. 

Before we dig too deep into the notable World War II games that best retell the events of the global battle, let’s look at the first question that may be on your mind.

Why is World War II So Popular in Gaming? 

You can probably name several dozen World War II-specific games off the top of your head without thinking. How far can you get with World War I? Or even the Vietnam War? Chances are nowhere near as close. It’s not because all World War I or Vietnam War games are bad. The conflicts simply don’t have as big a spotlight on them.

According to author Frank Cottrell Boyce in Andrew Pulver’s “Why are we so obsessed with films about the Second World War” piece (The Guardian), “The war has become a metaphor, not just history. You can map on to it any way you want. We’re attracted to it because of its moral certainties.” With the public atrocities carried out by Germany and Japan, there are clear “villains” and “heroes” in World War II material. There is no moral ambiguity as you mow down Nazis or sink ships of the Imperial Navy.  

The history of World War II has also become propaganda of a sort, inspiring brotherhood and patriotism even more than 75 years after its end. Games like Brothers in Arms highlight the comradery of World War II soldiers right in the title while games like Call of Duty and Battlefield align you with a squad of likable and relatable soldiers. 

But still, why not World War I? The line between “good” and “bad” was clearly drawn, and soldiers banded together with the same fervor to fight for their country. For that, you have to look at the United States’ role in both conflicts. Video games have become so westernized that many stories are told through the eyes of American soldiers. When the nation entered World War I, the conflict was already on the downswing. Within one year and seven months, it was over. Compare that to World War II, where the United States was fighting a two-front conflict for nearly four years. The whole nation became invested. Roles in the household changed, and men willingly enlisted to battle the Nazis and the Japanese. The attack on Pearl Harbor ultimately solidified that the Second World War would become the most important conflict in history - at least to the United States.

Vice’s Corey Milne’s says it best in his article “Video Games Have Sapped the Spirit Out of World War II.” In it, he states, “World War II was great PR and the biggest games on it have cemented America’s reputation as a powerful and noble entity.”

That, of course, is not to say World War II video games should not be played. There are many worth diving into.

The World War II Games All Should Play

Since the library of World War II games is so large, it’s worth breaking it down into a shortlist of some of the most influential, important, and entertaining video games featuring the global war. While the first-person shooter genre is most prevalent, strategy games have been a suitable medium for scaling combat and showing the tactical side of the European and Pacific Theaters.

Castle Wolfenstein (Muse Software, 1981)

Though Castle Wolfenstein was among the first games to utilize stealth mechanics, it really only received notoriety when id Software retooled the concept into an action-packed first-person shooter in 1992. As an Allied spy, players maneuver through the titular castle, evading or killing German soldiers during their escape. The gameplay was simple, but the game did make historical references to the Mauser C96 pistol and Hitler’s SS unit.

Axis & Allies (Meyer/Glass Interactive, 1998)

Based on a very popular board game, Axis & Allies allows players to choose which side they’ll fight for in the large-scale conflict. The RTS turn-based format cycles through the major world powers across multiple phases, from research to combat, as they vie for control of a world map. When a capital city falls, that nation is taken out of battle until their ally can liberate them. It’s a unique way of depicting the joint effort that was required during World War II - though Japan as Germany’s close ally puts a unique spin on the dual-front war. Combat plays out in an RTS format that uses authentic units, from battleships to general infantry.

Medal of Honor: Allied Assault (2015, Inc, 2002)

Though it’s the third Medal of Honor game, Allied Assault is more memorable than its predecessors. It was one of the first games to depict a horrifying recreation of D-Day. Soldiers drop around you as you storm the beach, evading German machine-gun fire and mortars in what feels like a futile attempt of claiming the beachhead. Beyond Omaha Beach, Allied Assault spanned real locations to retain historical accuracy. Players cross into German-occupied France to liberate comrades and rush into the Nazi bases of Algiers to cripple Hitler’s forces. Allied Assault set the bar for World War II shooters and is often praised for its strides in capturing the horrors of war.

Battlefield 1942 (Digital Illusions CE, 2002)

Whereas Medal of Honor was known for crafting deep stories that painted a grim war speckled with moments of hope, Battlefield 1942 was all about the large-scale combat. Digital Illusions CE wanted to focus on more than just the human side of war. So, it opened up the battlefield, added functional aircraft and ground vehicles, and threw players into massive engagements. Up to 64 players could join the fray as Medic, Scout, Anti-Tank, Engineer, or Assault class infantry, all with unique skills and load-outs. It may have depersonalized World War II, but it helped show its scope.

Call of Duty 2 (Infinity Ward, 2005)

For four years, Medal of Honor enjoyed being the pinnacle of World War II video gaming. Even when Battlefield 1942 released, Medal of Honor remained on the throne. Then a new studio came along, stocked with 22 developers that originally worked on Allied Assault. Infinity Ward introduced a new competitor into the budding war video game market with Call of Duty, but it was Call of Duty 2 that ultimately changed the face of war games. If anything was going to dethrone Medal of Honor, it was Infinity Ward’s Xbox 360 launch title. The game introduced “post-war effects,” from raging fires to smoke and dust that blocks the screen. Call of Duty 2 elevated video game warfare to a level of realism that had yet to be touched on. 

Silent Hunter III (Ubisoft, 2005)

So many war games feature sprawling battles across cities and open plains. Aeon Electronic Entertainment took a different approach and put players in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Silent Hunter (1996) filled the player’s screen with information, from the different dials and computers of a submarine to details about the World War II vessels. Silent Hunter III improved upon the concept that the first game laid out with improved visuals, deeper gameplay, and more intuitive mechanics.  

Brothers in Arms: Road to Hill 30 (Gearbox Software, 2005)

Capturing the spirit of camaraderie, Brothers in Arms is based on the true story of the 101st Airborne Paratroopers. Unlike many World War II first-person shooters, Brothers in Arms wasn’t about the action. It put strategy and tactics first to retell the harrowing tale of the paratroopers that became scattered across the French countryside before the Normandy invasion. The game is impressively realistic, from the details of the battlefields to the equipment. Gearbox Software used eyewitness accounts to flesh out what happened to the paratroopers and create a game that’s less about winning a war and more about protecting your squadron.

Call of Duty: World at War (Treyarch, 2008)

After having developed Call of Duty 3, Treyarch was back with World at War. It may not have fared as well with reviewers, but World at War is equally as important as previous titles as it shifted focus to the Pacific Theater. World War II games were mostly inclined to take the battle to Europe against the German threat, leaving the Pacific conflict off the table entirely. World at War explores the Pacific Theater with a gritty realism that added limb dismemberment and accurate burn injuries. Treyarch’s development team also kicked off one of Call of Duty’s biggest trends with the Nazi Zombies mode.

Company of Heroes (Relic Entertainment, 2006)

Company of Heroes blends the units and tech of World War II with solid RTS mechanics. Players engage the Germans across notable battles like the Invasion of Normandy, using the staples of the RTS genre that we’ve become accustomed to. Company of Heroes makes you think about every move as if you’re a general formulating the best plan to take a vantage point and crush the opposition. On top of being a good looking game, Company of Heroes plays really well and offers deep gameplay that you can’t rush through. Make the wrong move, and your opposition will emerge victoriously. Much like in real war.

Regardless of which of these games you’re booting up first, be sure to pay attention to the history. Just because they’re forms of entertainment doesn’t mean there isn’t valuable information about World War II scattered throughout these titles.

At SJR Research, we specialize in creating compelling narratives and provide research to give your game the kind of details that engage your players and create a resonant world they want to spend time in. If you are interested in learning more about our gaming research services, you can browse SJR Research’s service on our site at SJR Research.

[shunkashuutou]

Random Update Time! October/November 2017

Random update time! Over the last two months I’ve saved up quite a few cool things to show you!

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The weekend after I got back to Japan from my trip to America, it was the Chosa Festival! Usually it’s always really warm and sunny for the festival, but this year it was pouring rain. I thought they would have probably cancelled the festival, but Mabs and I went to check just in case, and it’s a good thing we did!

I love the excitement of the Chosa Festival when it’s a nice sunny weekend like it had been for the last couple of years, but I also really enjoyed the mysterious sort of atmosphere that the rain gave the festival. 

The chosas lit up their plastic coverings and looked like lanterns, and almost everyone was carrying a clear umbrella.

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Some new Black Thunder candy bars!

This one is “Mochi Mochi Kinako Black Thunder”, it’s kinako-flavored and has mochi-flavored gummy candies inside. It was good, and the gummies were a clever way of simulating mochi.

And this is Black Thunder Volt, which is bigger and more candy-bar-shaped than the usual Black Thunders, and it has a ton of almonds inside.

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Oh! I don’t know if I ever ended up telling you all, but I chose a web design school! I decided to go with with the first one I visited, and I’m excited to move to Osaka and start school next April! The school gives special discounts to foreign students who can speak a high level of Japanese or a high level of English. After taking the N2 level of Japanese Language Proficiency Test last year, I had a high enough level to get the second highest tier of discounts, but if I wanted to get the highest tier of discounts, I would need to take either the N1 JLTP or get a high score on the TOEIC English test. The N1 is a big jump in difficulty from the N2, so I decided to take the TOEIC instead! LOL

I used to use this book to teach my students who were preparing to take the TOEIC, but I thought I should look it over one more time before the test.

I had to go to Okayama to take the test, and I ended up getting to the station pretty early, so I had just enough time to make a quick run to the Aeon shopping mall and go to the store that sells all of the cute Jinbesan whale shark stuff! I LOVE Jinbesan!! I want literally everything they sell there. Anyway, I got myself some cute (surprisingly cheap) stuff: a cup, a small case which I’ve been using to store chargers and cords (I haven’t lost my tablet pen once since I got it!), a stationery set, and TWO JINBESAN MECHANICAL PENCILS! I’d been looking for Jinbesan mechanical pencils (I didn’t even know if that was a thing that existed, but I was checking all of the stationery stores just in case) so I was so happy to find these!!

Look how cute the inside of the cup is!  Since I’ll be moving to Osaka in the nearish future and will have to have my own dishes and stuff, I thought I would buy this to use as a water cup. 

I love all of this stuff so much! It’s so cute and I smile whenever I look at it. (〃艸〃)♡ It also reminds me of how much fun I had seeing a whale shark for the first time at the aquarium in Osaka last year! Whale sharks are the coolest!

As for the actual TOEIC, the listening section was very fast-paced; if you spaced out for a second you could miss several questions. The reading section was fine, some of the questions were trickily worded, but not difficult if you paid attention. I definitely have a lot of respect for any non-native English speakers who can get a high TOEIC score though! I don’t think I would do very well on a Japanese test of the same level.

And last week I got my test scores back! I got a perfect score of 990 points! I can English!  ヾ(๑╹ヮ╹๑)ﾉ"

(But seriously, I feel like my ability to speak/write in English is getting worse the longer I live here.)

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As always on October 23rd, I played Final Fantasy X and had some Mountain Dew and Mentos in memory of my friend Derek. For some reason, supermarkets and konbini in Japan don’t sell Mountain Dew, but you can find it in certain vending machines sometimes. I had to go on an adventure and just check random vending machines until I found one that had some.

October 23rd always reminds me not only of Derek, but also of how grateful I am for all of my friends. So to all of you reading this, I just want to say, thanks!  ♡

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Some before and after photos of when I cut my wig for my Halloween costume.

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Mabs and I went out for dinner at our favorite kaitenzushi (conveyor belt sushi) restaurant back in October, and for dessert I decided to have this tart. When I ordered it I thought it was “ichigo”, strawberry, but it turned out to be raspberry, which I was even happier with, although sort of confused about. On closer inspection the menu said it was “ki ichigo”, literally “tree strawberry”, which apparently means “raspberry”. Raspberries don’t even grow on trees! Why are they called “tree strawberries” in Japanese?!?!

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A pretty sunset over the bridge near my apartment.

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I love goldfish (really looking forward to the day when I’m settled in one place for long enough to have pet fish again), so I was so excited about this goldfish gachapon (capsule toy), but after a few minutes the plastic fish always floats to the surface of the slime and looks dead! Not cute.

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Someone online pointed out that the Ookurikara nendoroid (second from the left) can balance on his head, so I tried it, and he actually stands up better that way than he does on his feet when he’s attached to his stand, LOL! I thought this was hilarious, so I had to try it with the rest of the Touken Ranbu nendoroid family, and it turns out that everyone but Manba can do it. Poor Manba...

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At the beginning of November we celebrated Mabs’ birthday!   ✧*｡ヾ(๑╹ヮ╹๑)ﾉ"✧*｡

We had a chill celebration and spent all day at home playing video games. Mabs wore her Pikachu kigurumi! For dinner we had delicious twice-baked potatoes, carrots, and green beans (which are usually strangely hard to find and/or expensive here).

And for dessert we made a pumpkin pie!

Also if you’re wondering what that strange creature on the right side of the photo is, it’s a potato goat. (A red potato goat, specifically.) Mabs and I came up with weird food+animal creatures for each other, and hers is a potato goat. I put my Photoshop skills to use and made some potato goats as birthday decorations, LOL.

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November 11th was Pocky and Pretz Day! (because “11/11″ looks like sticks of Pocky) Don’t worry, we didn’t eat all of those by ourselves (only the 5 small boxes in the front, lol) The winter cocoa Pocky (middle of the back row of small boxes) and the sweet potato Pretz (on the right) were the best!

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Fall/winter is the season for baked sweet potato things (or “yaki-imo”), so these were yaki-imo dango! Yum!

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Mabs and I celebrated Thanksgiving with traditional American food this year! (Although we had to use chicken instead of turkey, because turkeys are an endangered species here and people don’t eat them)

It was a delicious dinner!

And Mabs has totally perfected the process of making gluten-free, egg-free, dairy-free pumpkin pie! It was really good, especially with all of that soy milk whipped cream on top!

After dinner we watched the movie “Appleseed”, which is a computer animated sci-fi movie that came out back in 2004. It had a cool style that reminded me of an old video game (actually very good animation for 2004) and was overall an enjoyable watch with some interesting plot twists. (If you search “Appleseed 2004″ on YouTube, you can watch the whole movie for free)

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Last weekend Mabs and I were reminiscing about some of our old Sengoku Basara cosplay adventures in college, and we finally did something that we’ve always been talking about; we swapped characters!  This photo makes me do a double take every time I look at it; we’re so used to it being the other way around!

I had a lot of fun trying to cosplay Yukimura! Doing his makeup went a lot better than I thought it would, and Mabs’ wig actually fit me just fine. And Mabs made such a cool Sasuke!

It would be really fun to try to swap their full outfits with all of the armor and stuff sometime!

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And here’s one more new type of Black Thunder! “Black Thunder: Pretty Style”???!?!? Bascially they’re fun sized, or “cute sized” as it says on the package, LOL.

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And yesterday the weather was really nice, so I got out of the house for a walk, and I took my camera along with me to take some photos of the fall leaves!

Our area of Shikoku isn’t nearly as colorful as some other parts of Japan are in fall, but I still think it’s pretty.

Taking my camera along when I go for a walk is fun, because it makes me look harder to find things that I think are pretty and worth taking a picture of. It’s nice to slow down and look at things more closely; there’s a lot of cool things out there if you take the time to look for them.

I liked taking photos of the trees on the hills; maybe I took too many photos like this, but everywhere you look the colors and textures are a little different!

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Hope you’re all having a good autumn! 🍁

[obscure-black-clouds]

the aeon

REQUEST: anon: “Do u take requests? If u do I was wondering if u could do something with credence x Metamorphmagus!reader?”          

WORD COUNT: 2226;

WARNINGS: none, mentions of scars if you consider this a warning.

A/N: At first i planned to make a headcanon, but it turned out to be something more. I very much like this piece, tbh. Its couple of years after events of the first film. I’m not sure how Metamorphmagi were treated back then, but considering rarity and all that atmosphere we have what we have. Hope you enjoy!

Being a Metamorphomagus was great. Most of the time. Not that you complained, after all, being one brought you together with a person you absolutely adored and dearly loved. But sometimes… Sometimes it seemed as if you started to lose yourself among billion faces you’d tried on like masks. Sometimes it was just too much.

First rays of the morning sun wasn’t seen yet, but the sky already started turning pale pink, proclaiming the beginning of a new day. You loved this time, when the city was still asleep, quiet and calm, when there was nothing but you and the sunlight. Dawn seemed infinite, as if it was an aeon, a whole era. It wasn’t that often that you woke up early enough to see the birth of the new day, but sometimes, when things were out of place and you couldn’t sleep, you’d just watched the sunrise.

You turned around, hearing a quiet breath, and felt you lips curving in a soft smile. A man you so dearly loved, was sleeping peacefully, not even suspecting that you weren’t next to him. It was strange actually, usually he would wake up from the slightest noise, but today was your lucky day. He would be upset, knowing what you were thinking about. You turned back to the sun, suddenly remembering how you two met. Maybe, you thought, it was the best day of your past life, the day you’d met Credence Barebone.

It was probably one of the first sunny days in an awfully long time, earth missed the spring so badly that it almost lost all its color. You finally succeed in convincing your chief to let you have a little walk with children. See, you’ve worked in a small kindergarten for magical kids, some of whom, most of, to be honest, didn’t have parents. You enjoyed your work, it was a blessing, seeing these children smile and laugh regardless to the situation. However, it never saved you from tears, when some of them said that they would be happy to have you as their mother.

You felt in the company of kids far more comfortable, then with the adults. They would never judge you for anything or call you a freak. Even living in a magical society didn’t ensure being loved for who you are. You couldn’t change who you were, metamorphmagi are born, not made. You were different and lot of people were scared of it, even if they were wizards. Going to Ilvermorny didn’t really change anything, most of the people just ignored the fact, you friend said it was “cool”, but some of the others… Others would occasionally call you a freak, whispering mean thing behind your back, making sure you’d hear them. It took some time to get over it, to learn how to control it and stop your hair turn red every time you were angry.

You found your place among children, among those who were genuinely impressed your abilities. They brought your faith back, made you feel… Normal. They would ask you to show them a trick or two, laughing and clapping in joy. Sometimes you would even have some king if a theater, you, playing all the roles, of course. Perhaps, seeing wonder in children’s eyes, when their favourite character came to life, was a thing worth living for.

You, and five children, still kids, to be honest, the youngest one was five, and the oldest – eight, were carefully walking down the street. You planned to take them to the Central park to see the zoo, of to feed the ducks in the pond. However, on the way a wonderful idea popped up in your mind. Pastries.  Those children rarely had something sweet, so buying them some cookies and candies sounded amazing. And, there was the only place you could get what you wanted.

Kowalski Quality Baked Goods.

You carefully crossed the road, watching children to keep up with you, and finally opened the door. The smell of sweets could easily knock you off, so good it was. You let the children, still confused, come in first. Surprisingly, there weren’t any people, and you worried that you came while it was a break or something. However, in a second the owner himself appeared smiling widely.

“(Y/N)! It’s nice to see you!” Jacob exclaimed. He was, possibly, the kindest person you knew, always gentle and smiling, with an amazing sense of humor.

“Oh, Mr. Kowalski! I’m sorry, is this a break or something-” you started, still holding children close to yourself.

“Remember what I told you? It’s Jacob, (Y/N), no misters here,” he laughed. “You are always welcomed here! Oh and who are these young folks with you?” Jacob asked curiously.

“Oh, it’s Jenny, Alec, Dustin, Ella and Jeremy,” you said, gesturing to each of the children, “my pupils. We were planning to by some pastries before going for a walk to a central park.”

“Oh, that’s so nice! Choose what you want that’s on me.”

“No, no, Mr. Kowalski- Jacob, I will pay,” you rushed to say, but he just shook his head.

“(Y/N), this world needs a little more kindness,” he smiled at your silent “thank you”, and then turned around to call someone. “Credence, come here!”

You carefully watched kids choosing what they want, and then turned around to see who else came in. You froze for a second, curiously examining a young man, who intently listened to Jacob. He was much taller than Jacob was, though his shoulder were hunched over. His black messy hair made him even paler than he was. Sharp jawline, incredibly high cheekbones and a slightest bit crocked nose made him look as if he was cut out of stone, just like those sculptures you saw in museums. His skin mirrored alabaster, and if not for a ping plump lips, he would be mistaken for a statue. Jenny, who tugged your sleeve made you look away, just before Credence noticed your gaze and glances at you, intrigued.

Sometimes there are people we are meant to meet. You could have sworn you’ve seen him already somewhere, but the memory of that just kept slipping through your fingers again and again. Vaguely you heard Jacob leave, but didn’t really payed attention, until the quiet voice interrupted.

“Can I help you, Miss?” you almost jumped in surprise, and turned around rapidly. But it wasn’t the worst thing.

Your hair suddenly turned silver. You two stared at each other for a second, he – in surprise, you – in terror. You had just revealed yourself to a no-maj. Oh well. You slowly brought your hair back to normal, still scared. Perhaps, he understood how you welt, because when he spoke again it wasn’t something you expected to hear.

“Don’t- don’t be scared,” he raised his hands as if he wanted to surrender and made a tiniest step forward. His brown eyes were wide, but it wasn’t fear, it was amazement what you saw. “I am- I am a wizard too. S-sort of,” he stuttered slightly, nervous.

“Oh thank Merlin,” you exclaimed, finally exhaling. “I’m- I’m so sorry, you just startled me and I’ve lost control.”

“How did you- How did you do that?” he asked curiously.

“I- I don’t think it’s the best place to talk about this,” you apologetically murmured.

“Oh- yes, of course,” Credence answered with a slightest bit of disappointment.

“If you want, you can go with us to Central park,” you suddenly suggested, “If you have time, of course.”

“Of course he has time!” the door opened, revealing Jacob, who was carrying a box of fresh pastries. “Go, Credence, walk young lady to the park!”

“But-”

“Go, you a free until tomorrow,” he waved his hand, packing sweets which children chose. Credence suddenly blushed and nodded, handing you a package. You hardly contained a loud gasp, when you saw his hands. Sleeves of a white shirt were rolled up, revealing Credence’s forearms covered in scars. It would be strange for you to ask about them now, knowing him only for five minutes.

However, if five minutes you all were walking through the streets keeping eye on children.  None of you dared to break the silence, so you just carefully watched as Credence was holding the youngest one, Ella, in his hands. It made you smile, because, to be honest, it was absolutely adorable. You found a place in a park near the pond with no one around and allowed children to play by themselves.

“She seems to like you,” you smiled to Credence, who was staring at children fondly.

“Hm? Sorry I didn’t-” he rushed to apologize.

“I said Ella likes you,” you smiled even wider, gesturing to the girl.

“Oh-” he couldn’t help but smile too. His face lit up instantly, making him more alive, as if the spring itself smiled through him. “She- She is very sweet. All of them. Are they-”

“Magical? Yes,” you nodded, “I work in an orphanage. If we manage to get to a magical child first we bring them there. It’s safer than leave them among no-majs.”

“I see,” there was something in his voice, you couldn’t comprehend. To be honest, Credence himself was quite hard to comprehend.

“Oh, I’m (Y/N) by the way” you suddenly realized that he didn’t know your name. What an awkward situation.

“I’m Credence” he smiled softly.

“Well, I guess, I’ve promised you a story, Credence” you answered, breathing deeply. “What you saw- Well, I am a Metamorphomagus. I can change the way I look if I want to. It’s a rare skill, so I’m not surprised you didn’t know.”

“I- I don’t know much about magic, to be honest,” he muttered, staring at the ground. You glanced at him curiously but decided to keep your questions to yourself.

“I don’t usually tell people who I am, actually,” you tried to keep talking, because you really enjoyed your conversation with Credence.

“Why?”

“Well, people usually not very fond of that kind of stuff. You are one of few who wasn’t scared, and didn’t start to scream that I am a freak,” you lowered your eyes and didn’t noticed how Credence looked at you.

“You are not a freak,” he suddenly said with a surprising certainty in his voice.

“That’s very nice of you, Credence,” you smiled again, watching the children. “May I ask you something?”

“Y-Yes, of course.”

“What happened to your hands? If you don’t want to answer you don’t have to,” you softly said, looking at him.

“No, it’s okay,” he whispered. “It’s just- There wasn’t an orphanage for me when I needed it.”

“Oh-” you gasped and carefully touched his forearm, squeezing it lightly. Credence imperceptibly flinch but then relaxed. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he rasped, finally looking into your eyes. “Past is past.”

Past is past, but is was still your favourite memory, seeing him playing with kids and laughing. That day Credence even walked you to orphanage, and timidly asked if he would see you again. You just smiled and hugged him instead of response. You almost went inside when Children suddenly decided that they wanted to say goodbye too, so it took ten more minutes. You smiled, feeling a little better. You had someone who thought you were a wonder, not a freak.

You glanced at the bed, but instead stumbled upon a pair of familiar brown eyes. Credence woke up and stood right behind you, watching you curiously.

“Why are you here, honey?” he softly asked, hugging you from behind. Credence was still sleepy and therefore even more adorable. He was still as gentle as the first time you met, even though he grew much more comfortable and confident. He was still Credence Barebone.

“Couldn’t sleep,” you softly shrugged, enjoying sudden warmth.

“Are you all right?” Credence asked, much more awake.

“Yes, it’s fine, never mind.”

“(Y/N), you know you can trust me, right?” he inquired, carefully turning you around, still in his embrace.

“Of course, I do. I just- I just felt lost. Sometimes I feel like I- I’m losing myself in all those images. Like I am a freak again and-” you whispered, hiding your face in his chest.

“(Y/N), you are not lost, you are here, with me,” he softly stated, rubbing your back. “You are my miracle.”

“I just-”

“We all feel bad sometimes, but you need to understand that whatever those thoughts tell you, it’s false. You are wonderful person (Y/N), and not because I say so, you just are. I say this just so you know it too,” Credence whispered.

“What if I lose myself someday?” you asked, your voice trembling.

“You won’t. You are here and I have you,” he kissed your forehead, waiting for you to calm down. “I love you.“

“I love you too,“ you looked at him, amazed. He wasn’t the one to say it out loud, he was more of a silent kind. His love was in actions, not words.

“Have I ever told you, I loved you at first sight?“

“When I freaked out and turned gray?“

“Um-“ he bit his lip, “You see, I saw you in the bakery mach earlier but was to shy to talk, so when you- Um- Never mind“ he awkwardly blushed when you chuckled. “And now come on, let’s go back to bed.”

“Wait,” you suddenly exclaimed, still smiling and holding his hand. “The dawn.”

The sun was slowly rising over the horizon, proclaiming the reign of a new day, coloring roofs in reds and yellows, dancing on the top of the trees. The dawn was the best time of the day, time, when the city was still sleeping.  Time, when a hope is born. Time, when everything seems like an eternity.

And you had nothing against in. If you had to spent an aeon in Credence’s hands, than eternity sounded just right.

[forcedapotheosis-blog]

Gloomy Days II

Alright, the second chapter is here! I mean, it was there before, only in German and it took me the better half of today’s freetime to translate it, but I hope that it’s going to suffice. 

I just wanted to say that I’m incredibly thankful to the people who liked the first one and even reblogged it, you don’t know how much that means to me (besides the obvious “Hey, someone seems to like it. I did not totally waste hours on end writing it! It’s something!”).

That said, this one was done relatively quickly because, yeah, I didn’t have to write it from scratch. Chapter III might take a little longer because my time is limited and I don’t have a clue how to even start that one. It’ll feature several - smaller - sub-chapters, showing off the PoVs of all the Straw Hats presently there. Maybe I’m going to release them one by one or in a bundle, can’t say that right now. What’s your opinion on that matter, dear reader?

Whatever! Let’s cut to the chase, stuff is about the same as in Chapter I, Italic are the character’s thoughts and so on. The meaning of the passages of the songs I quoted in the beginning and the end is as deep as you’d like it, personally I think they just influenced my writing of the chapter as a whole a lot. That said, I’d really like to encourage you to listen to the CSN-song, it’s beautiful.

As always, I really hope that you can force yourself to enjoy this one too. Try to have fun and be careful out there, we wouldn’t want to see you go hollow.

Chapter II – Haven't we lost enough?

If our eyes should meet then so be it

No need to trouble the heart

That is hidden where no one can free it

Only to tear it apart

Silje Nergaard – Be Still My Heart

It ought to be the single best day of her life and, considering it from the outside, there was no reason to doubt that. Not only was Cassian, her husband-to-be, born into a wealthy family, but he was without the spoils that one could associate with such an upbringing, not to mention his good looks, his benevolence towards her, his family and even the servants one could find in any corner of his ancestral home. Tall, dark and handsome, keeping himself in good shape without transforming into a brick shithouse, more lean and with carefully defined musculature. Exactly the way she preferred it. Besides those obvious merits he had also enjoyed professional education in the liberal arts – he even supported her every step of her way when it came to the pursuit of her own passion, cartography -, and has thus been forged into a well-rounded person and a worthy heir for his family name. He even showed genuine care towards her tangerine trees and took it upon himself to find a place for them in their expensive garden so that they were never too far away from.

And he did not smoke.

Some might consider that a more trivial matter, but the smell of tobacco always reminded her of Belle-mère .. and of him.

There was nothing but grief to be associated with it.

Back to the good things though! Not only was she about to marry a wonderful person, but she was also about to meet with her old friends, the kind of friendship that could easily identify as blood-relation, mind you. She recalled that Zoro had answered her call, as had their former doctor Chopper and even Luffy came out of the woodwork to be with her. Robin, of course, was quick to accept the invitation and arrived a few days earlier to help wherever she could. That's what friends were for, right?

And .. Sanji.

She was gravely surprised when she heard from him again. Surprised and shaken. Even when she was writing the invitations, she envisaged that he wouldn't even care to answer or come up with some half-baked reason not to attend, and she would've been fine with that. But he answered, said that he'd come and even until this very moment, she did not know how to handle it. Calm down, girl. You're getting married today!, she reminded herself, shaking her head and examining her appearance in the mirror in front of her.

Never had she been more beautiful, more marvellous than today, she thought. The dress she wore was perfection, shimmering in a soft white light as if someone lit a fire in the darkest of nights, it was incredibly well tailored and an enormous amount of money had to change the owner for that to come to pass, but every single belly was worth it. It was off-the-shoulder to show a little more of her flawless skin and the fabric felt like paradise incarnate, fitting like a second skin. And her hair, her hair! Robin surpassed every expection and had turned her hair into a piece of classical art, producing a complicated put-up hairdo that just underlined her magnificient, fiery mane. Contact between both women had been few and far between since the Straw Hats disbanded, maybe a letter or a short call every few months. But when she arrived, everything was as if she'd never left. They shared a long and warm embrace before Robin congratulated her on her wedding and the good catch she'd made with Cassian. But the most important thing was that Robin did everything she could to make her feel like a fairy tale princess. And just to top it all off, she agreed to be her witness!

This is going to be the most wonderful day of my life and nothing could change a damn thing about that!, she reckoned, turning away from the mirror. The ceremony was set to start in about half an hour and she was sure that Luffy would be in the kitchen, begging for food again. Maybe reminding himself of his old, careless persona. A few minutes ago, Robin had left to look for him, because he too had an important role to play: He was to lead her to the altar. When they were still travelling together, she always felt like he was an older brother, at times even a substitute father.

When they were still travelling together.. Just, no! Don't think about that, girl! You'll just ruin your makeup!, she sternly admonished herself. Thinking about the past was normally a very tear-intensive issue that did not have any place within the happiest day of her life. For a moment she remembered how happy she was that he accepted the duty to lead her to the altar and a soft smile formed upon her lips. Luffy.., within a heartbeat, she felt foreign in her own body, rising from her chair, walking numbly towards her wardrobe, opening it.

And there it was, antiquated, dusty, not having been worn in what felt like aeons, but still full of memories, both good and bad.

Everyone of them hit rock bottom when friendship and dreams were just not enough anymore to keep going, nakamaship ended where reality ensued. Defeats strung together and on that single, impossible day they had to bury a beloved member, giving in to his final breath, it just became too much. Disbanding did seem like to only way possible to keep on living.

Some of them cried overtly, herself included, while others went for a bland, emotionless façade.

Behaving like that was one of the things she could never forgive Sanji for.

Don't get that wrong though, she begged and cried and pleaded for everyone to stay, hopelessly. Robin had gently touched her face, breathing a kiss on her forehead, telling her that it was the only way, the only logical conclusion. Franky and Chopper cried without remorse, holding each other as if the world depended on it. Zoro had been hard, as expected, mumbling about becoming the best swordsman in the world anyway, even without them. Usopp had tried that too, but before too long, his veneer crumbled and he too finally cried, besides being the only one of them to have at least some beacon of hope waiting for him at home: Kaya.

And finally, when there were only three of them left, Sanji abandoned them. It took a while for her to admit that him leaving hurt the worst of all, she even fell to her knees, trying to stop him, didn't want to let go of his hand.

And he didn't even look at her.

Sanji, the Black Leg, who's element had always been fire, might as well have been former Admiral Aokiji in that very moment. Just standing there, silently smoking a cigarette, being an unmovable object.

Sanji had also been the only person she did not have any contact with during all those years. No letter, no call and especially no visitation. And it was a good thing. After the end, there wasn't a single day for months that went by without weeping. And eventually, she had to abandon Luffy too. Devastated didn’t even start to describe his condition. His friends, his family, the people he trusted probably the most in the entire world walked out of his life, one by one until no one remained, leaving a wound that would never even start to heal.

And exactly that was the point that he gave his beloved strawhat to her. Disbanding their small family of pirates had also been the funeral of their dreams.

A few years later, she met Cassian, who immediately began to court her like she was a princess or something similar, an otherworldly beauty. After she got herself into the relationship with him, it didn't take long for him to propose marriage, which she accepted without respite. After having lived a restless life for so many years, Cassian was a gift, an anchor in this world and for that, she was unendingly thankful towards him.

Her whole body shaking, she lifted her hand. Fingers long and delicate beginning to touch the strawhat affectionately.. so many memories, so much time spent together, all the fortune, hell, even all the mishap they had to endure, represented in such a simple thing. But it all ended in tears.

I should just burn it! I don't want it here any longer! .. and I'm sure that Luffy doesn't want it back either.., she felt her eyes tear up, breathing became troublesome as she tried to fight them back. Hastily, she shut the closet tight and turned around, never wanting to look back at this relic ever again. Until she would eventually do it, some habits were hard to break away from.

Trying to focus her mind on the wonderful time that was lying before her, she rushed towards her dresser to dry the corners of her eyes. It was going to be a golden time for her, the best time of her life, she would've everything that she ever longed for: Money, security .. and love?

She slowly shook her head.

"That's not exactly the right time to think about that, don't you think, girl?", she told herself, but it sounded more like a question. Cassian had confessed his love for her on more than one occasion, but she only always replied by kissing him, silently hoping that he'd interpret it as her reciprocating. Truth was, she did not know if she loved him. What was so important about that anyway, really? Even if she was unsure about it right now, the wedding would certainly change it for the better, right? Some, probably old, person would proclaim them husband and wife, in front of his family and her old friends, those that once were family. Even more than that.

Moreover, she'd heard more than enough stories about old couples who only gradually, during their married life, started to actually love each other. Why should it be different for her?

Again, she started inspecting her appearance in the mirror, needing to make sure that everything was still perfect, that she was still perfect. Even through the shaking of her head, her hair was still a piece of art. Dilligently, she started examining her eyes, these gentle, big brown eyes, even more emphasized through the subtle use of eyeshadow.. Sanji said that he'd rather drown in them than in the All Blue. The thought came so suddenly that she nearly choked on her saliva, she literally shocked herself and, in consequence, shook her head fiercely to get rid of it. Over all these years they travelled together, Sanji had said an unending amount of things to an equally unending amount of beautiful women, heart-eyed and wobbly-bodied, like an ape drunk on love, but out of all the things, why did she remember that one?

Because he was normal when he told me. Because he openly declared that I was more important than his dream, that once-in-a-lifetime-moment when it seemed that he was serious about it, she answered her own question. Some memories already began to fade, but she'd never forget that single moment until the last of her days.

Because, and that she clearly recalled, she was happy.

Oh, and how deep she fell after he abandoned them – no, her! - anyway, despite the words that left his mouth. No more tender, endearing words. In that very moment it seemed that he hated even the thought of touching her. Every single thing he said was a lie. Only I could've been dumb enough to actually start trusting him, right? That is never – ever – going to happen again. She tried, needing  to encourage herself, because the day had come to see him, look into his deep blue eyes again. She promised herself that she wouldn't weep. Never again and especially not because of him. It was ironic in any way imaginable, normally she was tough, strong and didn't weep easily. Maybe I should restrict myself to just noticing him, maybe a nod. And that's all, shouldn't be too much of a hassle. Again, she wished not to have him invited at all, but it was too late for that.

It was then that she noticed a cautious knocking on her door that dragged her out of her own thoughts, forcing reflexes to take over, spinning around and staring at it.

It was also then when she spoke without even thinking clearly, her voice a little too loud, her lips betraying her.

"Sanji-kun?!"

Of course it wasn't Sanji who opened the door. Oh my god, you stupid dumb girl! Why in the world should he be here?! You need a sober mind now and he's the last person in the entire world that you want to see anyway!

Slowly and with a slight smile on her face, Nico Robin entered the room.

"Not exactly, dear navigator-san. He's here though.", her knowing smile even widened a little when she spoke, carefully watching Nami's expression. "Don't worry, my dear. It's perfectly normal for the bride to ask herself if she's doing the right thing. I'm just here to tell you that I found our captain-san and that he's waiting to lead you to the altar. The guests have already taken their seats.", speaking, she gracefully strode towards Nami until she could finally embrace her friend, paying special attention not to ruffle her hair or muss up her dress. "I .. I'm not asking myself if I'm doing the right thing..", the bride-to-be responded, immediately regretting the oh-so-obvious lie. But even if Robin minded, she did not show. Slowly, she loosened the warm embrace to lock eyes with her, gently touching her face with delicate fingers. "Don't worry about a single thing, my dear navigator-san. Every single one of us came here to prove to you that you still hold, that you will always hold, a special place in our hearts. And nothing can change a thing about that. No matter how many years pass."

The bride-to-be was astonished by these words. Sure, Robin was always polite, sometimes even motherly, but even in the best of times you couldn't call her emotional. Tears erupted again, but this time, she did not care, instead trying to focus on the eye contact between them.

"Do you think that I'm doing the right thing?", the last few words were little more than a faraway whisper, her voice wasn't entirely under her control anymore. And neither was her body. The shaking started with her hands and would soon reach the center of her body.

"Are you happy?"

In the night your image arises

Close behind comes the pain

I hope I'm dreaming 'cos it hurts so bad

When I reach out for you, I'm alone in some room

I just never thought that you'd disappear..

Crosby, Stills & Nash – Haven't We Lost Enough?