#(let’s be honest if they’d been left together they would most likely have come up with some sort of plan - and ultimately still needed

[moonstruckme]

Doting

summary: you feel needy for wanting support after a hard day. Your boyfriends set you straight

poly!marauders x reader ♡ 1.4k words

You sit on the couch, surrounded by all the love you could ever want, and do your best not to sulk. 

In the kitchen, Remus hums as he makes dinner, and Sirius and James are playing cards on the coffee table in front of you while you pretend to read. 

“I’m out,” James declares proudly, laying the last of his cards on the table as Sirius throws his down with a huff. 

“I’m done playing with a cheater,” Sirius says with faux malice, turning around to look at you sweetly from where he sits at your feet. “Y/N, gorgeous, want to join me for a game?”

You paste a smile on your face. “Thanks Siri, but I’m busy.” You hold up your book as evidence, and he pouts but turns back around, reshuffling the cards.  

You notice James studying your features, and you do your best to look content, normal. After years of being around the other two boys and their silent misery, James has gotten very skilled at detecting a dismal mood, and you don’t want to ruin everyone’s night. In truth, you’d had an awful day. A customer had yelled at you at work, and then you’d been stupid enough to cry while driving, almost getting in an accident due to your distraction. You’d arrived home shaken and upset, and had barely had time to pull yourself together before Sirius had come in the door  a few minutes later, Remus and James following not long after. You don’t enjoy being so delicate that having any amount of anger directed at you reduces you to a sniveling mess, and you’d resisted the urge to lock yourself away in your room in the hopes that acting like everything was normal would eventually make you feel normal. 

So far, it isn’t working as well as you’d hoped. 

If anything, it feels odd to be the dark cloud of such a joyous space; with Sirius and James laughing and bickering in front of you, Remus humming just around the corner, and the delicious smell of whatever he’s making beginning to waft toward you from the kitchen, you feel unappreciative and embarrassed for being unhappy. Beyond that, you know you have the sweetest boyfriends in the world, and they’d drop everything if they knew you were upset. Frankly, you don’t deserve their kindness when you're wallowing in self-pity over something so silly. You’d only be dragging them into your sorrow with you, and there’s no sense in all of you being down there together. You can handle it on your own. 

But James’ too-perceptive gaze seems to find some fault in your placid facade, and though you will him desperately not to, he asks, “You alright, angel?”

You give him a different smile this time; it’s smaller, a bit more honest, but a smile nonetheless. “Yeah,” you say, in your most placating tone. “I’m good, thanks Jamie.” 

“You sure?”

“Mhm.” 

James’ eyes are slightly troubled, but he nods, directing his attention back to the cards. It’s too late, though, because now Sirius is turning back towards you, something in James’ tone or yours tipping him off. He sets down the deck, pulling himself up onto the couch to sit beside you, his eyes level with yours. 

“What’s going on?” he asks in that rare no-nonsense way that lets you know he’s serious. 

You hate when they tag-team you like this. James may be good at picking up on your moods, but he also knows when you want to be left alone. Sirius, on the other hand, prefers to root out any bad feelings and beat them into submission. 

“Nothing,” you say, no longer under any impression that either boy believes you. Still, you take Sirius’ hand, squeezing reassuringly. “It’s okay.” 

Sirius is undeterred, searching your face like it’ll come clean when you won’t. You can’t take the intensity of his stare and drop your gaze, but he only stoops to follow it. You’re trapped. 

“Hey,” he says softly, his thumb stroking your hand cajolingly. “What’s your deal, huh? Talk to us, baby.”  

It's the pet name that gets you, and the first tear leaks from your eye just as Remus comes in with dinner. 

He stops short at the new, sullen atmosphere of the living room, but rushes over once he sees your face. 

“What’s going on?” He sets the plates aside, seating himself on your other side.

“We don’t know,” James says, moving to sit on the coffee table, his knees brushing your legs where they’re curled up under you. “She hasn’t said.” 

“She’s right here,” you joke, but no one smiles. 

Remus takes the hand not currently claimed by Sirius. “What’s wrong, love?”

You press your lips together to keep them from wobbling, blinking rapidly in a futile attempt to reverse the course the evening is taking. 

“Honey.” His tone is admonishing, but still unbearably sweet, and you crumple, more tears falling as a gasping sob escapes you. Remus pulls you into him as though he can make you a shelter out of his own body, and you go willingly. “Was it a bad day? Is that it?”

You can only nod, not trusting yourself to speak. After a beat, Sirius asks, “Are we going to have to beat someone up?”

You laugh, and it’s awful and pitchy, but it loosens some of the pressure in your chest. James’ hand finds your shoulder, squeezing encouragingly before starting to rub slow, soothing circles into your upper back. 

“I’m sorry,” you choke out. 

“What the hell for?” Sirius asks, and you open your eyes in time to see Remus give him a harsh look. Sirius ignores him, reaching for you. His thumb is gentle as he wipes under your lashes. “You know you can tell us these things, don’t you?”

“I just—” You take a shuddering breath. “It was so embarrassing, and I didn’t want to ruin everyone’s night.” 

“Sweetheart,” James coos. “We don’t care. We’d so much rather know you’re upset and be able to help than have you suffer in silence all night. Besides, don’t you think you deserve the same treatment you give us?”

Shame washes over you, and you tuck yourself further into Remus’ side. “You guys never ask as much of me as I do of you.”  

James’ eyebrows jump nearly to his hairline and Sirius makes an incredulous sound, but it’s Remus who speaks. “Dove, are you serious? What about when I had a migraine last month, and you stayed home with me all day?” He maneuvers you in his arms until you’re facing him, looking you in the eye. “Or the last time James had a bad day, and you went on a run with him so he’d have company, even though you hate running? Or just last weekend, when Sirius got too wasted—” You can feel the glare Sirius is shooting him from behind you, but Remus continues—”and you stayed up with him all night holding his hair, and then in the morning you brought him gatorade and cleaned his sick out of the carpet?”

“Don’t act like you’re so needy,” Sirius says, and you turn towards his voice to find his stare just as piercing as you left it, “and we’re all perfectly self-sufficient. You’re not the only one who needs help sometimes, so if you have a bad day, we wanna hear about it.” He’s looking at you like your silliness astounds him, and James grasps your shoulder with a small smile, giving you a little shake as if to reprimand you. 

You look helplessly towards the plates Remus had brought in only a few minutes before, discarded on the edge of the coffee table. 

“Dinner’s gonna get cold,” you say mournfully. 

Remus shrugs. “I’ll microwave it. And if you wanna talk, we will, and if you don’t, you can pick us a movie to watch, yeah?”

You look at the three of them, gratitude and love both so huge and warm in your chest you can’t tell which is which. “Okay.”

“Good.” Sirius tugs you out of Remus’ arms and into his own, planting a kiss on the side of your head. “Merlin, you’re tough to get things out of. Think you could go a bit easier on yourself in the future?”

“Yeah,” James pipes up. “Be nicer to our girl, she’s had a rough day.” 

You hide your face in Sirius’ chest, flushing, but at least this time, your smile is real.

[hockeyboysimagines]

F*ck me like I’m famous

Warnings: phone sex, implied sex, alcohol, swearing, fluff, Vince being a sad boy.

Sorry this has taken so long. I struggled through the phone sex part, so if it sucks. Please be nice to me. Thanks to @cellythefloshie and @jostyriggslover96 for talking me through it.

Enjoy, let me know what you think🤍

J:How’s Canada?

V:Oh you know, Canada is Canadian.

J:Not having fun?

V:I am. But I miss you a little. Not a lot though.

She giggled a little, biting her lip, before she answered.

Vince had left for Canada the week after their official first date. They’d spent every night together until he went home, leaving Josie here in St. Louis. It had been pretty sad, and Josie realized how much she liked him now that he was gone. The days had drug on, and they’d been making it work on the phone, talking when they were able, and nightly FaceTime calls. It was pretty unfortunate though if she was being honest. The most pivotal time in a relationship where you really get to know someone was being done through a phone screen. It had been tough to start, but smooth sailing for the past week. She would be heading to Ontario on Saturday afternoon and staying till the following Sunday. She was excited to see him but also nervous.

J:You miss me, or you miss my lady parts? Cuz she misses you too.

V:Jesus Christ.

J:Your gonna need him when I get to Lindsey next week.

V:🤣🤣🤣no I think that’s you.

J:Oh yeah?

V:Oh yeah. You should start praying now so you can get used to being on your knees.

Josie choked on her water and her whole body shivered.

After having sex everyday for the last two weeks or so, going without it for two weeks sucked. They’d exchanged some flirty banter but this was escalating. The more time Josie spent with him, the more things she learned about herself. And this was a new thing.

J:I’ll get on that right after I get off of you.

V:Just come now. I’ll pay to change your plane ticket.

J:No can do. I still have to finish packing.

V:So what are you doing? Besides tormenting me.

J:Just organizing my underwear drawer for my trip. What’s your favorite color?

She followed it up immediately with-

J:Nevermind. I think I’ll just go without them for the week.

And then her phone buzzed and Vince’s face appeared on the screen.

She answered on the third ring, shaking with laughter.

“Hello?”

“Are you fucking kidding me???” He whispered angrily on the other end of the phone.

“Vince hi!” She said cheerily “What brings you to call me so late in the evening?”

“What brings-you know what.” He was quiet and let out a long breath. Josie felt almost bad.

Almost.

“Are you okay?” She asked.

“No I am not. And it’s your fault.”

“Me?!” She giggled “What did I do?”

“You know what you did.” He mumbled.

She could just imagine him sitting hunched over, arms crossed, pouting so she decided to help him out a little. She bit her lip and took a deep breath.

“You know.” She said softly “I’m not wearing any underwear.”

He was very quiet on the end of the phone but she could hear some movement before he spoke “Really?”

“Mhmmmmmmm.” She wasn’t actually wearing any underwear, just a large T-shirt she’d acquired from his room over the course of the last two weeks. She let a hand trail up her leg “I’m thinking about you.”

“What about me?”

“About how much I miss you. How I can’t wait to see you…how I can’t wait for you to fuck me.” She felt a redness come to her cheeks. Vince brought out a whole new side to her she didn’t even know existed and she was appalled at herself right now. She had never even thought about having phone sex before and yet here she was.

It may have also had something to do with the four glasses of wine she’d consumed but if anything, this conversation was sobering her up at an alarming rate.

He coughed on the other end “And how would you like me to do that?”

“Uhm how about everywhere? How many rooms are in your house?”

“Nine.” He answered a little too quickly “And a pool.”

“A pool? Now we’re talking.” She said lowly with a small giggle.

“FaceTime me.” he said softly “I wanna see you.”

“Uh uh. This is more fun. Are you thinking about me?”

Her voice was sweet on the other end of the phone and she had him so keyed up he was thankful he was alone “I’m always thinking about you.” He responded. It was true. He woke up with her on his mind and went to bed with her on his mind. But she was clouding other parts of his body now besides his brain.

“Do you miss me?” She asked.

“Yes.”

“How much? Cuz I miss you a whole lot.” Josie let her hand slide between her legs and let out a little gasp “She misses you too. She’s been so lonely since you’ve been gone, with no one to take care of her.”

Vince chuckled nervously on the other end of the phone “And what is she going to do about that?”

Josie rubbed her fingers over herself and squirmed a little “She’s so wet. I have no choice but to take care of her myself.”

She heard the distinct sound of a belt unbuckling and Vince adjusting himself in whatever he was sitting in and he cleared his throat “Tell me about it.” He sounded almost a little nervous and she wondered for a second if this was a first for him too, but now wasn’t the time to ask. She felt some confidence exuding now because for once she felt like they were on an even playing field in terms of sexual experience. Most often she felt like he had the upper hand, but today things felt even.

“When I get there next week she’s going to need all your attention.”

She heard his breath hitch on the other end of the phone “You know she’s gonna have it.” He murmured.

“I hope so. Because she’s been so empty, with no one to take care of her.” Her fingers felt good as the moved inside of her and while this whole thing was totally hot, it would have been better if he was here. But this was the best she was going to get.

“Are you touching yourself thinking of me?” She asked sweetly.

“Mhm. I wish it was you though.” His breath was heavy on the other end of the phone and it made Josie hot just thinking about it “Fuck.” He swore on the other end. His voice was ragged like his breathing and Josie too had reached her limit.

“Are you going to cum for me?” She whispered, fingers moving faster inside of her. She definitely was, but she was holding out until he did as well, just like when they had the real thing.

“Yes I-Jesus fuck.” He he ground out from the other end of the phone.

Josie closed her eyes, head falling back “Vince I-“ but the words died as they came out of her mouth. It wasn’t a mind blowing orgasm like she’d become accustomed to, but it was enough to get the job done. It did however bring her down to earth when she realized if things didn’t work with Vince, she might not find another person she had that connection with. But that thought went out the window when she heard him breathing heavily on the other end of the phone.

He was quiet for a few moments before he cleared his throat “Did you-uh-“

“Yes. Did you?” She waited with baited breath for a second before he answered.

“Yeah.” Then he laughed a little “First time for everything I guess.”

She breathed a long sigh of relief and then laughed a little herself “Glad I could pop your phone sex cherry.”

“Can we FaceTime now. I wanna see your face.”

She but her lip “Sure.”

The phone started to ring and Josie took a deep breath before she answered. Vince was a little flushed and disheveled on the other side of it, but he smiled when she answered. She looked down at her lap shyly before she looked back up at him.

“You.” He said brushing a strand of hair from his forehead “Are a very bad girl.”

“Only for you.” She winked and rolled to her side, propping the phone up on her nightstand so she could fold laundry and talk with him at the same time.

“So are you all packed?” He asked, eyes peering at her through the screen. She got lost in them for a second, although the camera didn’t do them justice, and then nodded.

“Half packed.” She turned the phone to show him her open suitcase “It’ll be here before you know it.”

“Yeah.” He said frowning a little with a small sigh.

“I’ll see you in a week okay?” She smiled reassuringly at him through the screen and he nodded.

“Yeah. I’ll pick you up from the airport?” He seemed troubled, eyebrows furrowed.

She nodded and gave him a tight smile, settling into her bed “Just wish you could come earlier is all.”

He actually missed her. Not just the sex part, if that was all it was he wouldn’t be flying her out to Canada for a week knowing his mom would be around. He could find someone at home for sex.

“Cheer up lover. It’s only 5 days. Then you have me for a whole week. That’s a lot of time for activities.” She wiggled her eyebrows and he laughed.

“Yeah you’re right. Next week is going to be exhausting. In more ways than one.”

She giggled and smiled at him “Anything for Lord Stanley. And you too of course.”

They chatted for a few more minutes, as she reminded him of her flight times before they said good night and hung up the phone.

He sighed and set his phone down on the table and leaned back in his seat, arms folded. Josie had turned him inside out and he had no idea how she’d even done it. He’d never really been opposed to have a girlfriend, but he’d also never really wanted one either.

And amidst all that here he was, flying a girl across the country and FaceTiming her goodnight.

Which is why he found himself sitting on his mom’s sofa a short while later.

“So mom. There’s something I wanna talk to you about.”

She froze in her seat across from him “Oh boy. I don’t like where this is heading.” She set down her cup and turned to him eyebrows raised.

“No it’s nothing bad. Just something…good I guess. Well it is good I just-“

“Vince.” She said smiling “What’s going on?”

“So next week on my day with the cup, I’m gonna have a friend from St.Louis fly in and she-“

“SHE?!” His mom said eyes lighting up “She! A girl?”

He rolled his eyes “Yes mom a girl. Anyways she-“

“A girlfriend or a ‘girlfriend’?” She asked air quoting.

“A gir-.” He frowned “Actually to be honest I have no idea. A girl…friend.”

“I’m afraid I don’t know what that means, but tell me about her. What’s her name? What’s she like? How did you meet?”

He was definitely going to have to think something up for that last one because he couldn’t tell him mom that he’d taken her home an hour after he met her and then spent every night with her since then. She would yell at him for not being a gentleman but he also didn’t want that to impact the way she saw Josie either. He knew she was great, and he wanted her to think the same.

He couldn’t tell that to his mom.

“Her name is Josie. She’s great, I think you’ll really like her. And I met her out one day.”

She knew he was lying but she didn’t call him on it. He’d never asked but he was sure his mom had seen the photo of them that ended up online, and if she hadn’t he wasn’t going to start admitting to things now. Though he was an adult, technically, he went out of his way to keep his extra curricular activities private from everyone, but especially his mom. He suspected she knew about a lot of it, but it definitely wasn’t something they talked about.

“That’s it? That’s all you’re giving me?”

“I’ll let her tell you the rest. I don’t want to give away everything before she gets here.”

“Well you must really like her if you’re bringing her all the way here. This is a big week for you.”

He shrugged but she shook her head “No no. Don’t shrug at me. You don’t have to admit it, but I know that you wouldn’t fly her here if you didn’t like her…a lot.” She added at the end “But it’s your business. Either way. Looking forward to meeting her.”

***********

Josie usually slept flights away, but she was too amped to sleep. In just a few short hours she’d be seeing the guy she’d not known just over a months ago, but now she couldn’t imagine not knowing.

It was a little scary if she was being honest. Not Vince himself but everything that came with him. The recognition, the sport, the being a citizen of a whole other country.

Which was actually the scariest part to her.

What if Canadian Vince didn’t like her as much as St. Louis Vince did. What if when she got there he realized he’d rather have a girl from back home celebrating with him.

Was there a girl from back home?

She felt silly but the longer she sat on the plane the more she realized she was stepping into a place she’d never been, with people she didn’t know, to celebrate a trophy for a sport she’d never watched.

Given the opportunity she would have parachuted out of the plane but she didn’t think the pilot would be too understanding about her nerves. Though if he knew who she was flying out to see, he might.

The plane was fairly empty, and she had no seat mates on either side, which left her to anxiously bounce her knee without disturbing anyone.

There was too much cloud cover for her to really see anything. Canada would be a complete surprise and for a few minutes her excitement overrode her anxiety.

That was until the plane hit the runway and she felt like she was going to puke. The flight attendant glanced at her and did a double take, holding out a bag.

“Ma’am your green. Are you gonna throw up?” She leaned back a little bit.

“What? No I’m okay. Just…I’m okay.”

“Right…well maybe you should take this anyway.” She pushed the bag forward again and Josie took it.

“Have a good time!” The attendant called “Don’t throw up!” She said pointing at her.

Josie laughed and exited the plane, locating the baggage claim and grabbing her suitcase, when she felt her phone ding.

V: Let me know when your at the doors. I’m parked outside

She started typing to respond as she exited the doors and got a face full of sunlight, blinding her from seeing two feet in front of her.

J:I’m outside. Marco!

“Polo.” She heard from behind her.

She turned and standing some feet away, was Vince leaning against a black BMW, smiling at her. He was just as beautiful as she remembered, and as he had been the first time she’d ever seen him. His smiled widened as she made her way to him. It seemed like it took ages to reach him, her heart beating just a little bit faster with each step. As she came within a foot of him, she dropped her suitcase and he pulled her into a very hot, wet, long kiss right there in the airport parking lot. She wasn’t sure what to expect if she was being honest. In St. Louis everyone had already seen them making out on the news, but this was his home field and she wasn’t sure if he wanted to be kissing her so openly in public.

When he pulled away she was looking at him surprised.

“What?”

“Nothing, just didn’t know if you wanted people to see us making out in the airport parking lot.”

He chuckled and grabbed her stuff “I’m a Stanley cup champion I can do what I want.” He said opening the trunk and putting her bag inside. She felt a little lurch in her stomach as he slid past her to open the passenger door, hand sliding across her lower abdomen as he guided her into it and then shut the door. He’d had his hands on every part of her body and a little touch on the wait was doing her in. She took a deep breath trying to will away the redness that came to her face as he made his way around the car and slid in. She couldn’t believe how nervous she was. But then he turned and smiled at her and she remembered they’d already done a plethora of sexual things in various places and she relaxed a little bit.

“Ready?” He asked brightly, starting the car and turning to her.

“I think so. Unless you’re sick of me already.”

“Sick of you? Never.” He backed out of his spot and left the parking area of the airport. As he drove she saw the buildings start to fade away little by little and they were replaced by some of the most beautiful scenery she’d ever seen.

“So this is Canada?” He glanced over to find Josie peering out of the window smiling a little “The view sure beats down town St. Louis.”

He smiled a little bit and shrugged “Yeah maybe. But Canada doesn’t have you so I guess that makes it even.”

Josie rolled her eyes and blushed “That was so cheesy.”

“I couldn’t help it. It’s true though.” She looked so good after not seeing her for a week. She always looked good, but he realized now how much he actually liked her. And he was pretty sure she felt the same considering that she’d flown all this way to see him for only a week.

“On a scale of 1 to 10 how likely am I to see a Moose?” She asked still leaned forward.

“Probably pretty likely, but I should warn you to not try and pet them. Not the friendliest. And actually just don’t pet any of the wild animals you come across. There’s not many friendly things running around the forests in Canada.”

“I guess I can only find friendly things from Canada on Ice then.”

“Ha ha.” He said with a smile and watched her, watch the outside.

“It’s beautiful here.” she commented glancing at him “I have no clue where I am, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.” The trees were so thick Josie couldn’t even see through them as they made their way down the road. She hadn’t seen a car since they left the airport.

“It is.” He was quiet for a minute before he spoke again “So….is it okay if I kill you?”

Josie turned slowly to look at him for a full 10 seconds before she burst out laughing “Sure. Just make sure I still look good for the open casket if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Okay deal.” He reached a hand over to rest it on her leg “It’s really nice to have you here.”

“It’s nice to be here. I like getting to see where you come from.” She sounded genuine, and she smiled at him, resting her hand on top of his “Thanks for bringing me on my first Canadian adventure.”

“Hopefully with any luck it won’t be your last. Just stay away from the Moose.”

**********

Josie could see now that Vince was just as popular here as he was in Missouri as she followed him along through the place there meeting his friends and family. She hadn’t even had a chance to unpack her stuff, which was still in his trunk, but she was excited to meet them and get it over with. He didn’t know it, and she wouldn’t tell him but her nerves were a live wire.

He made her nervous that first night but that was nothing compared to this.

“Come here.” He grabbed her hand and tugged her forward behind him through the crowd.

“Mom. This is Josie, Josie this is my mom.” Vince’s mom was smiling at her and waved away her outstretched hand and hugged her instead “It’s nice to meet you, I wish I could say I’ve heard so much about you but Vince only just told me you were coming yesterday and won’t give me any details.” She smiled cheekily at him and then looked back at her.

Josie looked at him for guidance. She wasn’t about to tell his mom that they’d met in a bar and he’d taken her home and had sex half the night.

“We met out one night after the cup.” He said smiling at her “Schwartzy spilled a drink on her.”

“Mr. Stanley Cup Champion over here swooped in like Batman and saved the day.” She gave him a nudge “My hero.”

“I do what I can.” He said with a shrug, but smiled and wrapped an arm around her waist.

The rest of the day went great. She was a bit all around. His friends and family kept pulling him aside to tell him how great she was, which he knew of course. He watched her as she interacted with friends of his, when he felt his mom at his shoulder.

“She’s lovely.” His mom said as she looked at Josie talking with them, laughing like she’d known them for years “And so gorgeous.”

Vince nodded “She is right?”

“How did you meet her again?”

Vince bit his lip and looked at his mom who continued “Because I vaguely recall someone sending me a photo of you kissing some girl that wound up on the news. That would happen to be her would it?”

“Uhm.” He glanced at Josie and then his mom and gave her his best smile, one he usually used to get himself out of trouble “That’s actually from when I met her.”

His smiled faded a little when his mom looked at him flatly. That smile never worked with her “Uh huh. Well maybe next time just think about who you’re kissing after you win a major trophy and remember, the internet is forever.” Then she smiled “You seem happy.”

He nodded “I am. She’s great, and I really like being around her.”

“I would hope so. You flew her all the way out here. You don’t fly someone you don’t like into another country.”

He shrugged “I do. But…I don’t know just seeing what happens I guess.”

“Hmmmm.” She pursed her lips and smiled glancing at him.

“Knock it off.” He said bumping his mom’s shoulder.

“I’m just saying. You seem different with her is all. None of my business.” She pinched his side and wandered away giving him a long pointed look as she did. He squeezed through people saying hello as he did, and found her sliding her glass to the bartender.

“You’re popular.” He said into her ear, one hand reaching forward to grip hers. She smiled at him and felt redness come to her cheeks, both from the wine and from him holding her hand in front of his family.

“Just like back home. I’m sorry you’re so lame and no one wants to talk with you.” She made a pouty lip at him and squeezed his hand. He rolled his eyes, smile widening.

She looked so good in Canada, in a bar with his family and friends, her white dress bright against her tan skin.

“Let’s get out of here. You have two weeks worth of phone sex and dirty texting to make good on.” He waggled his eyebrows at her. They said their goodbyes and much to her delight, he never let go of her hand, and they made their way into his car, driving mostly in silence, and then into his house. It was dark and late, and the sounds of the night could be heard from everywhere as he unlocked his front door and she stepped past him and inside. She heard him shut the door and lock it and a ripple of excitement started to creep through her, sending an electric current into every nerve in her body.

“So.” He said from behind her, causing her to turn. He was half illuminated, half in shadow as he dropped her bag by the door “Which room do you wanna start in?”

She grinned and took a step back “Catch me and find out.”

[rebelliousstories]

What We Have Seen

Relationship: Norm McLean x Reader

Fandom: Fallout

Request: Yes by @fallout-girl219

Warnings: Fluff, Angst

Word Count: 1,046

Main Masterlist: Here

Fallout Masterlist: Here

Summary: When the plan to repopulate Vault 32 is set into motion, two people have to find a way to work around the set backs.

“Feel like getting out of the house?”

And that was how she found herself along with Norm exploring Vault 32. The decrepit vault was in total disarray when they entered. Bodies strewn about, and locked in grotesque positions. She saw the worst of humanity in that vault. People turning on one another, infighting to the extreme. The worst was seeing the blood on the wall from the people of Vault 32, declaring they knew what was going on in Vault 31.

Norm took off to the Overseer’s office and she followed after him shortly. She did not want to be left behind in this place. When they made it to the office, it was not in a better state. The Overseer was bound to the chair, and holding something. Norm turned on the computer and began to rifle through it.

“Norm, I don’t like this place. They all went bonkers.” She pointed out as she continued to look around.

“If the last bio signal was two years ago, how did raiders get in?” Another puzzle in this great mystery that Norm called out.

“To do that, they’d need a pip-boy.” Her observation came, just as Norm stopped on a page on the computer.

“They had one,” came a whisper, ”they had my mom’s.”

All the air had been sucked out of the room. Neither one knew how to respond to that. There was both too much and not enough to be said.

“Come on Norm. Let’s get out of here.” Grabbing his hand, they made their way back to Vault 33, only to be stopped by Betty.

“Where have you two been?” Their hands flashed away from each other as if they had been burned. Looking at the other, they tried to formulate a plan when she blurted something out.

“We were helping with the potatoes.” She drawled out, trying to find the words. Betty looked at them for another moment before sending them off to get cleaned up. As they walked, both of them shared a look of silence. A look of, “I won’t tell if you won’t.” Mutual Understanding.

It was only a few days later that the duo found themselves in a lonely corridor when that dreadful announcement came. The announcement that they were resettling Vault 32. They had already seen the newly decorated vault, and the life that was brought back. They had no clue what they had done with the bodies, but the stark change in how it was before to now was suspicious.

When the reassignment came through, their hearts dropped. She was going to Vault 32. As they sat in that lonely hallway, their lives being pulled in different directions, it was bittersweet. Over the past few days, an unlikely relationship had blossomed. It never went farther than a few stolen glances and secret handholding, but it was their relationship. Neither one cared to show too much emotion to the people they did not care about. Norm had his arm wrapped around her shoulders, while her head was on his shoulder.

“I don’t wanna go, Norm. I mean what are we going to do? What’s gonna happen to us?” She lamented.

“I don’t know. But what I do know is that you’re not leaving. Not with everything we’ve seen. There’s no way I’m letting you go.”

She poked her head back up and off of his shoulder to look him in the eye. That was the most honest emotion she had seen from him since Vault 32. Her own tracked over his face like she was trying to remember every mark, every wrinkle and feature. His did the same, but with less attention. Norm knew that he would find a way to keep her with him; consequences be damned.

Before either one of them knew it, they were leaning in and locking their lips together. It was a little messy, and fumbled, but nether one of them cared too much. Norm reached a hand up to rest on her face while she found purchase on his chest. They moved against each other,and slowly found their rhythm. Neither was rushed, although they probably should have been; but they were trying to savor this moment. Who knew if it was going to be their last?

Sitting there together, the couple remained lip locked for what felt like hours. And they showed no signs of stopping. They were trying to keep their mind off of the impending vault switch. A noise startled them away from each other; Chet was at the end of the hall,and had dropped a can staring at them. They looked in between one another before Chet took off running. Norm followed after him quickly, and even though Norm was physically smaller and not as strong as the man, he still managed to get him to stop. Pulling him into another corridor, Norm was as out of breath as Chet.

“Chet, you can’t. Please.” Norm stated. He would never beg the man not to tell; this was the one time being a MacLean worked out in his favor.

“I have to, Norm. You can’t be doing that. You’re lucky that it was me who found you two, and not someone else. What if Betty caught you?” He asked, slowly catching his breath.

“She won’t. Not if you don’t tell her.” The shorter man took on an air of authority, and hesitantly let the other man go. Chet looked at Norm with just a touch of fear, but left silently anyways. By the time he did, she had finally caught up to the two men and warily watched Chet leave as she went to stand beside Norm.

“Did we just mess everything up?” She whispered, fighting every urge in her body to hold Norm’s hand. He turned to the woman with a gentle expression and drew her into his arms. Pressing her head against his shoulder, Norm squeezed her tightly.

“No. Never think that we messed anything up. It’s just the world we live in. Everything else is messed up. We’ll be fine.” As they stood in that empty corridor, the couple could not help but embrace each other for what was to come. They could only hope that everything would turn out just how it needed to.

[tumbleweed-palmer]

hi!!! i dont know if you write smut but im obsessed with the prompts you republished and i was wondering if you could write an jimmy x reader with prompts 3,22 and 30??

Welcome Home

Here you go! The smut wound up being pretty filthy. There is no real plot to be found here just smut. Obviously minors DNI.

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The bed felt way too big without him. She knew the thought was silly. Their bed wasn’t all that huge. It was just a standard Queen size bed. Honestly it was a step up from the beds they’d slept in together when they’d been living separately. 

Y/N could remember the first time she’d spent the night on Jimmy Palmer’s old bed, back when he’d had his own place. The mattress had been a little lumpy and the metal framed bed had creaked with every little movement. Needless to say, she’d not gotten a good night’s rest when she spent the night at Jimmy’s place. She had found that she didn’t mind too much though. A less than great night’s rest seemed well worth it due to the man sleeping beside her.

When they’d made the choice to move in together, a bed had been the very first thing on their list of things to purchase when it came time to consolidate or sell their belongings.

To tell the truth, Y/N had a feeling the bed only felt too large because she was all alone in it.

She tried hard not to let her loneliness swallow her alive.

She told herself that it was ridiculous to be so mopey. She was being pathetic for feeling so forlorn having to sleep on her own. 

She was being overdramatic. Jimmy would be back home soon enough. It wasn’t as though he was never coming home. 

When Jimmy had first come to her with the exciting news that Dr. Mallard had invited him to go to a medical examiners convention that was taking place down in Orlando, Florida, she’d had no other reaction than to share his enthusiasm.

She knew it was a wonderful opportunity for him. He’d get to make professional connections and talk to experts in a field he hoped to join once he passed his licensing exam. 

Of course after the initial enthusiasm she’d had to wrap her mind around the concept that there was such a thing as a medical examiners convention. She guessed it made sense. There were probably conventions for just about anything and anyone. 

It was hard not to feel excited for Jimmy even when he’d told her that the convention would be a four day event.

One big thing that had attracted Y/N to Jimmy was his enthusiasm. He was genuinely excitable about most things.

He was passionate about his job. He was proud to assist Dr. Mallard. He felt that his career ambitions provided him with a privilege to help give closure to those who the deceased left behind. He felt that he was lucky to have the opportunity to have someone as experienced and as respected as Ducky as his mentor. 

Jimmy was so enthusiastic about learning. He was open to expanding his mind and loved learning both inside and outside of the classroom. This was something Y/N had found incredibly attractive.

To be honest she’d always considered herself a little sapiosexual. She knew it sounded so pretentious, but she found intelligence to be incredibly sexy.

To her there was nothing hotter than when a guy could share knowledge with her. She found the sight of a guy reading far sexier than the sight of a guy throwing a football.

There was a fine line to this attraction of course. She was turned on by intelligence, but there was no bigger turn off than when someone had a superiority complex about their intelligence.

Nothing could make her more turned off than when someone thought that sharing new information with her meant talking down to her and assuming she needed something explained to her because she was far too dumb to understand it on her own.

She liked intelligence, but she hated arrogance.

To her relief Jimmy Palmer didn’t have an arrogant cell in his body.

He was delighted to share information with her, never making her feel dumb for having questions or needing clarification. He explained things with such an aura of enthusiasm that it never felt as though he was lording knowledge over her.

He was as sweet as he was intelligent.

She felt so lucky to be able to call him her boyfriend. They’d been together for over a year now and had recently made the decision to move in together.

She could honestly say she’d never been happier. It felt like she was a world away from the person she’d been over a year before.

She’d been a mess when she’d met Jimmy.

She’d met Abby first. 

Y/N was a probationary agent at NCIS. It was an opportunity she was grateful for. She wanted to work hard and earn her place on a team. It wasn’t an easy job. She had found herself building solidarity among her fellow probation agents. That solidarity had led to her bonding with one of her peers to the point of things becoming romantic. 

She’d fallen hard for a fellow probationary agent. 

She’d thought that things were going well. She’d even taken him home to meet her mom.

Apparently she was uninformed about the actual nature of their relationship. It seemed that she’d taken it far more seriously than him. His commitment issues had been far too deep to actually bind himself to her in a serious relationship. 

Her boyfriend had thought that it was a great idea to break up with her at work, by text message nonetheless. Apparently he just couldn’t bear to do it in person. So, he was not only a commitmentphobe, but a coward as well. 

Y/N had been crushed. 

She’d always been a hopeless romantic and had a tendency to get easily attached to people. It was a fault she was well aware of. She had a tendency to be a little too much, or at least that was what people tended to tell her.

She was known to let her heart get a little too carried away. It led to hurt and heartbreak more often than not. She also had the fault of being far too sensitive.

Usually she could compartmentalize her emotions well enough when it came to performing her job. Having her heart shattered at work by someone who she would most likely have no way of avoiding, was a little too much for her to compartmentalize as usual. 

So, there she was recently broken up with crying in a stall in the ladies bathroom in NCIS’ basement.

She’d been in the middle of her pity party when a voice had sounded out apparently taking notice of her sobbing though she was trying hard to be as quiet as possible. “Are you okay in there?”

She’d glanced down at the gap underneath the stall door, her brow furrowing at the pair of black platform boots that were visible through that small gap.

She’d felt her mouth run before her brain could stop it spilling her heart to the mystery person in platform boots behind the door. 

The owner of the boots had coaxed her into opening the stall door, revealing one Abby Sciuto. Abby had given Y/N a much needed peptalk and had decided at that moment to take Y/N under her wing.

Given Y/N current state, she’d seemed in dire need of a friend.  

The friendship with Abby had led to Y/N meeting everyone else in Abby’s inner circle including Jimmy Palmer.

Jimmy had liked Y/N from the start. However he’d been hesitant to make a move, being well aware that Abby was a bit protective over her new probationary agent friend. He’d been even more hesitant when he’d found out about the situation with Y/N’s ex. He’d assumed that given how things had ended with her ex, Y/N most likely wasn’t open to any future attempts at an office romance.

Abby had once again stepped in and saved the day it seemed. She’d talked Y/N into reserving two seats at a sip and paint course for them to attend during the weekend. The Friday before they were due to attend the course she’d conveniently had a family emergency. 

Y/N could remember realizing what Abby was up to when she’d spoken. “Don’t let the reservation go to waste. Give someone my seat. I know someone who would love to take my place. Jimmy is really into art. You should invite him.”

Y/N had ignored the fact that Abby had clearly planned this and had taken the bait.

Much to her shock Jimmy had taken the bait as well.

One date together and Jimmy and she had become inseparable. She’d shown him that she was in fact not against an office romance.

Jimmy had proven to her that he was quite the romantic. He openly doted on her and she tended to do the same in return.

The sweet adoring relationship they’d built had made Jimmy’s absence all the more distressing to Y/N.

Work provided a nice distraction at the very least, but when she was home she couldn’t help but to feel lonely. She would be lying if she tried to deny the fact that in Jimmy’s absence she had taken to sleeping in his t-shirts and found herself moving a little closer to his pillow simply because it smelled like him. 

She visibly perked up at the sound of her cell phone ringing the particular tone she was hearing attached to just the man she was missing. She practically launched across the bed over to the bedside table snatching up her phone. 

She spoke praying she wasn’t out of breath from her sudden frantic scramble across the bed. “Hey you.”

“Hi yourself.” Jimmy’s voice sounded out from the other end of the phone.

Y/N focused on tracing the pattern embroidered into one of the decorative pillows they kept on their bed. “So, how’s the convention today?”

She smiled at the obvious excitement in Jimmy’s voice as he replied to her question. “Great, I’ve been able to meet a lot of really interesting people so far. They’ve had some stories that could put Dr. Mallard’s to shame. I’ll have to tell you some of them when I get home, if I can actually remember all the details.”

She felt the smile grow all the more trying to keep her voice bright and sunny without a hint of how badly she missed him. “I’m looking forward to it.”

Jimmy was fast to respond. “Oh, and I got you a t-shirt….well, technically it’s a t-shirt for me…but I know by now my t-shirts are basically your t-shirts. I have a strong feeling you’re wearing one of my t-shirts right now.”

She felt a giggle leave her glancing down at the Georgetown t-shirt she’d snagged from Jimmy’s dresser the second she’d jumped out of the shower this evening. “I plead the fifth…wait, they actually have t-shirts at a medical examiner’s convention?”

“Oh yeah, they have a lot of swag. There’s just about everything you can imagine…there’s a lot of pens strangely.” Jimmy replied, chuckling at her avoidance of admitting that she was in fact wearing one of his shirts.

“Huh, I mean I guess it makes sense. You take a lot of notes during an autopsy right?” She replied, continuing to toy with the decorative pillow.

Jimmy responded another small laugh leaving him. “Yeah during the initial visual external exam…you know, looking at all the outside features, making notes of everything we see, but usually it’s easier to just use a device to record our findings especially during the internal exam. Then we can just take notes off the audio recordings.”

“Oh, huh. I guess that makes sense. It’s probably because pens are pretty cheap then.” She responded pretty accustomed to hearing all the nitty gritty details of just what Jimmy’s and Dr. Mallard’s profession involved.

She had learned far more about autopsies and death than she’d ever imagined she would.

She found that she didn’t mind knowing this much, Jimmy liked to talk about his career and his education. She appreciated his desire to share with her.

Sure, some of the information turned her stomach, but she wanted Jimmy to have the ability to talk about his job with her. He deserved to be able to talk about his day with her. It just so happened that his day involved information about rates of decay and the ideal weight of a liver.

She could admit that the subject of his education often became a downtime routine for them. Jimmy tended to get a lot of reading material about his profession suggested to him by Dr. Mallard, rather it was academic journals or books.

Occasionally Jimmy and she would cuddle on the sofa or in bed and Jimmy would read whatever material he’d gotten his hands on to her. She’d requested it, suggesting to him that reading the information to her and explaining it would be a great way to retain the information.

That was partially true, but she would also admit she just liked listening to his voice. It was kind of strange, she could listen to him read some frankly uncomfortable information, but it was almost comforting listening to his voice, feeling the rumble of his chest as he spoke.

A tiny part of her had to fear that perhaps there was something wrong with her to be so comfortable with this information. Realistically she knew though that she didn’t get some kind of perverse enjoyment hearing about it all. She just enjoyed being able to bond with Jimmy over his career.

Jimmy had seemed to appreciate her attempts to stomach the more uncomfortable details of his job and his education.

He’d scared plenty of people away with his career ambitions. He was relieved that Y/N didn’t disappear at the mention of Y-incisions or the average weight of the human brain.

It wasn’t something Jimmy had been accustomed to prior to Y/N. His past attempts at dating had been disastrous. Most people paled at the concept of death and more so at the concept of someone who was willing to make their living surrounded by death.

Jimmy guessed that Y/N understood the reality of his career, after all she was a probationary agent for NCIS. She was accustomed to crime scenes even if she hadn’t quite worked her way up to being assigned to a team just yet.

Y/N spoke again, unable to stop the words from leaving her. “I miss you.”

“I miss you too,  you have no idea. I think if I wasn’t so busy during the day it’d drive me nuts. I am debating if Dr. Mallard ever invites me to more conventions if I can sweet talk him into letting me take you along. I think we could pass it off as a way for you to broaden your knowledge as a hopeful full fledged NCIS agent.”

She chuckled at the suggestion, “I’m not sure Ducky would buy it. I’m pretty sure he’d realize your suggestion of me tagging along has less to do with broadening my knowledge and more to do with hotel room activities.”

Jimmy was fast to reply to her observation. “Hey, to be fair we’d have to leave the hotel room so I could actually attend the convention. So I wouldn’t just be interested in what we can do in a hotel bed…or you know a bathtub like that one time.”

She giggled, unable to deny the aching need that easily spread throughout her body at the memory he was recalling. 

The experience had been fun, but had been frankly pretty messy. It had taken several towels to manage to soak up all the water that had escaped the tub during their bathtub tryst. After that, they’d decided that any sexual activity that took place in the bathroom should probably remain in a shower stall, not a bathtub. 

Before she had a chance to make a flirty comment Jimmy spoke changing the subject. “I need a favor.”

She raised an eyebrow Jimmy speaking again seemingly reading her mind without having to even see her expression. “Not what you’re thinking.”

“Okay, so if not phone sex or dirty photos, what do you need?” She replied hiding the disappointment from her voice that the favor wasn’t going to lead to a little naughty phone fun. 

Jimmy was quick to respond. “I think I had a package delivered earlier this evening. Do you think you can go grab it for me? I just, I don’t feel comfortable leaving it out by the front door. I don’t think our neighbors would steal it, but it’d just make me feel better to know it’s inside with you.”

She furrowed her brow a bit, thrown off by the request. She searched her brain trying to remember if she’d seen a package by their front door when she’d entered their apartment earlier this evening.

She couldn’t remember seeing anything, but there of course was the possibility it had been delivered after she’d arrived home.

She spoke, reluctantly pulling herself from their bed. “Of course I can grab it. What’d you order?”

“It’s a surprise. You’ll see.” Jimmy replied without any hesitation.

She frowned all the more, a bit shocked by the secrecy. 

She felt her curiosity spike as she left their bedroom keeping her phone pressed to her ear as she walked through the living room.

She unlocked and opened their front door fully expecting to drag some mysterious package inside. 

When she opened the door she found no package, but the last thing or person she’d expected to see.

She stared up at Jimmy, his cell phone still pressed to his ear as he spoke. “Surprise.”

She almost dropped her cell phone but had enough sense to hang up dropping it on a nearby table.

She almost knocked Jimmy off balance as she practically tackled him, embracing him tightly. He stumbled a bit, managing to hang up his own phone and shove it in his jacket pocket.

He wrapped his arms around her, embracing her just as tightly.

Y/N buried her head against Jimmy’s chest taking in his familiar scent almost afraid that this wasn’t actually happening.

She reluctantly parted from him just enough to speak, her brow furrowing in confusion. “What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be in Orlando for two more days.”

Jimmy gave her a small grin quick to explain. “Dr. Mallard’s mother had a spat with the nurse Dr. Mallard hired to watch over her while he was gone. So, he had to get back to Virginia. He told me that I was free to stay for the rest of the convention, but to be honest, as much fun as I was having, I missed you more.”

He spoke again, spotting the flash of concern on Y/N’s features. “Mrs. Mallard is fine. She just had some anxiety and became agitated. Dr. Mallard will be able to manage it.”

She nodded her head well aware of Victoria Mallard’s age related dementia. It could occasionally cause her to be irritable and she’d lash out. She was confused more often than not. It was a lot of work for Ducky to manage.

Y/N had met Ducky’s mother during a Sunday night dinner, at the Mallard residence, Jimmy and she had been invited to. She’d felt for Dr. Mallard. It seemed like a lot to manage. She did find it admirable though; the amount of care and love he had for his mother to want so deeply to take care of her in the comfort of a home instead of a care facility.

She pushed her concern for the Mallards out of her mind telling herself that Jimmy didn’t seem to be worried.

She chuckled, giving his chest a playful shove. “I can’t believe you’ve been home the entire time we’ve been on the phone.”

“Hey, I was trying to give you a nice surprise. You’re satisfied with your surprise, right?” He replied, a playful smile crossing his lips.

She returned the smile not helping but to yank his chain. “I was kind of hoping for diamonds to be honest.”

He let out a huff pressing a kiss to her temple. “If you’re holding out on diamonds, I have some bad news for you. You’re hitching your wagon to a guy who has a federal salary.”

He pressed another kiss to her temple, unable to stop himself from saying the words. “It may happen one day though…I’m not opposed to saving up for a diamond for you if you really wanted one.”

She shook her head, reaching up to smooth back his messy curls. “Eh, I have a federal salary too…probably less than yours. I’m perfectly happy without diamonds. All I need is you.”

He spoke as she buried her face against his chest once again perfectly happy to cuddle with him. “You have me.”

They stood in silence for the briefest moment locked in an adoring embrace soaking up the feel of the other. The moment was broken when Y/N shivered slightly, it hitting her she was still technically in her pjs which consisted of the t-shirt she’d borrowed from Jimmy and a thin pair of pink hello kitty pj shorts.

Jimmy chuckled realizing they were technically standing with the door wide open embracing in the doorway in the middle of October. The northeast autumns we’rent known to be toasty.

She reluctantly parted from him allowing him to step inside dragging his rolling suitcase behind him.

They barely closed the door behind them before Jimmy’s arms were wrapped tight around her embracing her once again.

She gazed up at him her unable to hide the neediness from her voice. Please kiss me.”

Jimmy obliged her request quickly, his lips pressing to hers so softly at first it was almost a ghost of a kiss along her lips.

It didn’t take him long to deepen the kiss, Y/N returning it with enthusiasm. 

She felt her knees grow weak, his kisses always having this impact on her. She could still remember the first time they’d kissed. Her knees had grown just as wobbly when he’d kissed her at her front door after a date. Jimmy Palmer had no right to be such an amazing kisser.

He coaxed her mouth open, having no trouble dominating the kisses with zero resistance from her. He slid his tongue along hers, his hands beginning to roam her clothed body caressing it adoringly. The action made her knees grow all the more unsteady; she was almost sure she’d collapse to the ground if Jimmy wasn’t technically holding her up.

She knew it would be quite a shock to most people given how passive and generally agreeable Jimmy seemed to be at work, but he was actually quite dominant in the bedroom. No, he wasn’t dominant in the sense that he was spanking her and putting a leather collar around her neck.

He just tended to easily take the lead when it came to sex. She’d found that she was all too willing to be pliable and submissive to his touches and kisses.

She reluctantly allowed him to part his lips from hers, neither of them attempting to move away and create even an ounce of space between them.

He spoke his voice taking a huskier tone the need just as apparent in his tone. “Remember those bedroom activities we were talking about earlier?”

“I think I can recall something about it.” She teased, resisting the urge to press her lips back to his and desperately coax him back into kissing her.

He spoke a small smirk crossing his lips, his hands leisurely stroking her clothed sides. “I think we should go to the bedroom.”

His suitcase was quickly abandoned, Jimmy kicking off his shoes, his coat, and ditching his button down shirt on the way to the bedroom.

He knew Y/N might fuss at him for leaving a trail of clothing in the hallway but he had a feeling it would be well worth it.

They entered the bedroom making their way to the bed Jimmy falling back on it. Y/N wasted no time to join him in bed straddling his hips. She leaned down, Jimmy leaning up to press his lips to hers.

They kissed for a long while Jimmy allowing his hands to slide under her t-shirt caressing her soft warm skin. He teased his fingertips across her waist, the action making her shudder and whimper the touch too teasing for her liking.

He pulled his lips from hers , making her whine all the more. He spoke, a teasing tone to his voice. “Show me how much you need me.”

She gave him a soft smile knowing just what to do. She pressed her lips along his jaw pressing soft lingering kisses across his skin working her way down his neck. She worked her way down his body, her fingers sliding under his undershirt caressing his skin.

She coaxed him to lean up just enough for her to pull his undershirt up and over his head. She moaned at the sight of his bare torso.

Something that had been pretty shocking about Jimmy Palmer was that he was fit. She’d been stunned the first time she’d seen him nude and realized just how muscular he actually was. She would distinctly remember staring at his abs the first time they’d made love. 

They’d been mid undressing one another when she’d stared down the words leaving her lips she speaking to herself. “Oh, wow, you have a V.”

She could still remember the look of utter confusion he had given her in response. She had been so flustered realizing the words had even escaped her brain. She’d poked at the v-cut along his abs, clarifying herself, her cheeks flushing.

She could still remember what Jimmy had said in response. “Oh, you mean where my obliques meet my transversus abdominis muscles.”

As soon as the words had left his lips they’d both burst out laughing at the utter ridiculousness of the entire exchange. That was the biggest thing she remembered about their first time making love, just how much they’d giggled. It had been playful and sweet and to be honest a tiny bit awkward at times. It had been perfect.

She was pleased to find that each time making love after had been just as satisfying.

She brought her brain back to the current task at hand, she pressing soft kisses down his torso working her way down slowly.

She took her time pressing kisses to his skin he moaning in response. She tried to hold her laughter in as she reached for his belt buckle brushing her hand along the bulge in his pants, the action working a louder moan from his lips. Jimmy Palmer was as vocal in the bedroom as he was in his everyday life.

She unfastened his belt pulling it from his belt loops wasting little time to unfasten his jeans and work them down his legs with a little help from Jimmy.

His boxers followed soon thereafter, kicking them off somewhere far at the end of the bed.

She moaned at his hardness; it was quite evident he was just as eager as she was.

She took her time pressing kisses to his thighs working her way up to his pelvis avoiding the one area he wanted her lips the most.

He whined as she continued to tease him avoiding doing what he wanted, his cock aching at the torment. He’d forgotten just how good she was at teasing him when she wanted to be. It seemed that despite the fact that she’d missed him terribly while he was away, she was perfectly in the mood to tease him and make him wait.

He groaned as she pressed her lips all too close to his cock not giving in just yet. He couldn’t stop his hips from thrusting, feeling far too needy.

She giggled at the action quick to verbally tease him. “Poor thing, you really want this really bad don’t you?”

He nodded his head frantically, a whine leaving him unable to verbalize the words.

She took some pity on him pressing a light kiss against his shaft, the action not nearly enough. He whimpered a plea leaving him. “Please.”

She stared up at him looking far too innocent given her current position. “Please what?”

He groaned realizing that while he usually had zero issue being the dominant one in bed, his girlfriend could turn the tables on him any time she wanted.

He spoke staring down at her, sure his eyes were locked with hers when he said the words. “Suck me off.”

She chuckled at the question running her fingertips along his pelvis teasingly close to his shaft. “What do we say?”

He let out a frustrated whine realizing now that the tables were totally turned. “Suck my cock please.”

She gave him exactly what he wanted, easily wrapping her lips around him. She wasted no time to begin bobbing her head using her hand to stroke what she wasn’t quite ready to take just yet.

He cried out the hot wet heat of her lips wrapped around him enough to make his balls ache. He gripped down on the bedsheets doing all he could not to thrust against her.

He knew for a fact that she wasn’t amused when he rocked his hips against her when she was blowing him. She’d pointed out to him that she’d had a few experiences with guys who seemed to think porn was a guide to what to do during a blow job. A few of her past partners had seemed to think that attempting to jackhammer against her and make her gag was somehow pleasant for her.

She was relieved that Jimmy seemed to have a bit more common sense than her past romantic partners. 

He might occasionally slip up and rock his hips once or twice but he was never rough with her. If he placed his hand on her head it was usually to stroke her hair or wrap his fingers in her hair, not to shove her head down.

She worked him for a good long while familiar enough with his body to know exactly what he loved and exactly what drove him to completion. 

She knew from past experience he liked her to take it slow and work her speed up. He enjoyed it when she might get a little vocal moaning around his shaft, the action making his eyes roll in the back of his head. He definitely liked it if she massaged his balls.

She did just what she knew drove him crazy; she letting out a throaty moan, the vocalization vibrating around his shaft making him whine. He spoke his voice a pathetic whine. “You take it so good.”

She would have smiled had she not currently had her mouth occupied. She began to take the next step in what she knew usually made him fall apart, she taking him as deep as she possibly could, being sure to moan as she reached as far down to the base of him as she could.

He groaned at this her name falling from his lips, his thighs quivering.

She was shocked as he pulled back from her he leaving her mouth the wet noise not entirely pleasant sounding. He groaned fast to speak. “Can’t keep doing that. Gonna cum, don’t want to cum there.”

She chuckled making her way back up his body, his lips pressing to hers eagerly, his kisses deep and sloppy.

She let out a giggle as he took her by surprise rolling them both over he wasting no time to reach down to the hem of her shirt pulling the t-shirt up and over her head.

He groaned, staring down at her bare breasts, he wasting no time to eagerly wrap his lips around one of her nipples. He sucked enthusiastically the stimulation causing her to moan her head falling back.

He repeated the action to her other breast a pleased noise leaving him as he focused on the upper half of her body.

Their first time making love she had been pleased to find that Jimmy Palmer was super into foreplay and from his usual actions she had come to the conclusion that he was most definitely a breast man.

He reluctantly pulled his lips from her breasts, wasting no time to slide down a hand down her body reaching the hem of her pajama shorts, yanking them down her legs along with her panties.

He moaned, running a hand along her thigh, his fingers easily finding her center. He grazed them along her lips before thrusting one finger quickly followed by another into her heat. He spoke a deep groan leaving him as he thrusted his fingers. “You’re soaked.”

She whined, unable to verbalize a response to his observation. She wanted to tell him she’d been wet from the moment he’d started teasing her over the phone recalling their past bedroom activities.

He spoke again, his fingers finding her clit rubbing delicate circles into it, the action causing her to cry out her fingers twisting in the bedsheets she resisting the urge to run her nails down his back. “You take my fingers so good baby, but I know you’ve got such a sensitive clit. I bet I could make you cum just by doing this alone.”

She whined nodding her head wordlessly in agreement. He was right. He could so make her cum hard just by toying with her clit.

She moaned, it taking all the willpower she had to say the words. “Want to cum with you in me.”

He groaned the words all the encouragement he needed. He pulled his fingers from her not missing the chance to bring them to his lips, cleaning her taste from them.

He spoke, pulling his hand from his lips, he reaching up finally pulling his glasses off placing them on the bedside table. “On your knees, or missionary?”

She gave her answer eagerly rolling over to her stomach, wasting no time to take to her elbows and knees.

He groaned knowing he shouldn’t be shocked by her choice. He’d been pretty vocal about admitting that this was one of his favorite positions.

He got on his knees positioning himself behind her. He took himself in hand running his aching cock along her center coating it with her a deep needy noise leaving both of them.

It took him a little time to feel secure that he had positioned himself in the perfect spot before he finally thrust forward her center enveloping his aching cock.

He groaned the words leaving him. “I will never get enough of you.”

She whined he staying still for a moment letting her adjust to him. She was the one who thrust herself back against him, a frustrated whine leaving her she making it clear she was in no mood to draw it out.

He followed her lead, thrusting eagerly against her. She moaned at the feel of him sliding in and out of her.

She knew he loved this position because he could get so deep in her. The only drawback he found was that he couldn’t exactly hold her the way he wanted to during this. 

She wasn’t shocked as he placed a hand on her stomach, his fingers sliding down her waist. She whined as his fingers found her clit, managing to toy with it. She cried out the stimulation of his fingers rubbing circles against her sensitive clit and the sensation of his cock sliding in and out of her dragging along her walls was almost too much.

He groaned, proving that he was just as vocal as ever even in the midst of pleasure. “Missed you so much, honey. Missed your body, couldn’t stop thinking about this every fucking night.”

She moaned his confession making her center clinch around him the action making him grunt his actions becoming more frantic.

She whined the only sound filling the room for a long while were their moans of pleasure and the sound of his skin meeting hers as he eagerly thrusted against her.

She moaned as her body began to tense up, her body feeling so overstimulated and desperate for release. She knew it wouldn’t be much longer now. She could feel it building inside of her the more he toyed with her clit and rocked against her the more she felt her orgasm build.

She squealed his name struggling to leave her lips as she felt her body slide towards release, her thighs quivering, her center fluttering around him.

Jimmy grunted rocking through her orgasm, She squeezing him so tight he had to fight hard not to cum right then and there.

She whined her arms growing tired of helping hold up her body weight, her arms giving out, she practically collapsing against the bed in a pathetic heap.

Jimmy pressed adoring kisses to her sweat damp back pushing her hair aside to press kisses along her neck.

He ignored his own aching cock focusing on letting her recover knowing she needed to take a breath not wanting to overstimulate her all the more.

He whined pulling out of her staring down at his hard shaft. A hiss left him as he damp skin was exposed to the cold room.

She managed to find the energy to roll over on her back a moan leaving her as she stared down at him, her post orgasm brain clearing enough to realize he still hadn’t reached his end.

She spoke, reaching out to stroke his ribs. “Where do you want to finish?”

He groaned the answer falling from his lips he thanking the powers that be for the invention of the pill. “Inside.”

She parted her thighs for him knowing exactly what he wanted.

He moved over her a low moan leaving him as his aching cock slid along her center her nude body pressed against his making him ache all the more.

He worked quickly positioning himself at her entrance, thrusting in her a groan leaving him. He spoke a low voice more to himself than her. “Feels like being home.”

She moaned at the statement, her lips meeting his. His lips kept pressed to hers as he began to thrust again.

He whined against the kiss knowing he was pathetically close. He had found that it was always this way with her. He was always so desperate for her and so delighted that she wanted him just as badly as he wanted her.

She truly was his dream girl and he wasn’t just saying it because he was currently balls deep inside of her.

She ran her hands long his back pulling her legs up to wrap around his hips allowing him to thrust at a deeper angle.

He spoke against the kiss, his balls drawing closer and closer to his body signaling that he was so close. “I love you, feels too good.”

She moaned, pressing a few pecks to his lips as she replied. “Love you, always feels so good.”

The words were enough to make him hit his end, his cock twitching his thrusts sloppy as he spilled inside of her. He cried out burying his face against her neck, his body shuddering at how overpowered he was by his end.

He felt himself collapse against her relieved that she never seemed to mind the weight of his body over hers. She’d once told him that she found it kind of comforting to be honest. She felt adored, safe, and protected by him in these moments.

He lazily pressed his lips to her skin as he tried to come down from his end, the last of his release spilling into her.

He was reluctant to pull out and leave her warmth but his softening cock seemed to make the choice for him, he sliding out of her.

He groaned as he rolled over onto his back staring up at the ceiling. He was still out of breath but incredibly pleased.

She rolled over nestling against his chest, he wrapping his arms around her holding her against him. 

She spoke a giggle leaving her, her eyes drowsy, the smile on her lips proving she was just as pleased as him. “If this is the result, I’m going to send you to more conventions.”

He giggled at the comment, his lips pressing to hers. He spoke his voice drowsy, the post orgasmic haze making him feel sleepy. “The convention was fun, but I’d pick being here with you over anything.”

She spoke as he began to drift off to sleep, her own eyes growing heavy. “Welcome home.”

[from-the-coffee-shop-in-edoras]

It’s Wídfara Wednesday! With Guthláf included, of course, because it's always a good day for some Guthláf.

Catch up on parts one and two if needed. Part 3 finds Wíd in the aftermath of his first romantic encounter with Guthláf and wondering what to make of it. This part picks up a few…hours, let’s say, after the end of part 2. Still in Wíd’s room. T for Teen.

Wídfara was doing his best not to stare. 

He had admired Guthláf’s face and form from the moment they met, but to see him this way – all of him, luxuriously stretched out and casually bare – was so much more than anything Wídfara had imagined. He found it terrifying and thrilling in equal measure, the fulfillment of a desire he had long known and understood about himself but feared to expose to anyone else. Now that he had, though, he wanted just to bask in it for a while, to take this unprecedented chance to openly savor the sight of things he found affecting. The rounded curves of biceps and shoulders. The sprinkling of blonde hair over strong thighs. The deep grooves of muscles just inside the hips. After what they’d done together, taking an appreciative look now hardly seemed like a big deal. But his own sense of propriety forced Wídfara to tear his eyes away, and he rolled over to look up at the ceiling instead.

“If you’re tired, I can head back to my room.” Guthláf ran a hand lightly over his own face and pulled himself up to sit. “Don’t let me overstay my welcome.”

“Oh. Well, I wouldn’t mind if we just…” Wídfara hesitated. He had no idea what the custom was in this situation. He’d be content for Guthláf to stay with him and let the unforeseen thrill of the night last as long as possible, but perhaps that’s not how things were done. “Whatever you think is best.”

“To be honest with you, Wíd, I don’t really know.” He looked down with an apologetic smile. “I don’t have much experience here, so I’m not sure what’s usually expected.”

This admission surprised Wídfara, coming from someone who otherwise seemed so self assured and confident. “You haven’t done this much with other men? Or at all?” He didn’t mean to pry, but his own lack of experience left him more than curious to know how others like him had gotten on, especially someone who had been living in a bigger city.

“Either. Both.” Guthláf laughed. “It only took one try for me to know for sure this wasn’t something I ever wanted from a woman.” He paused, reliving a past moment in his mind, and then laughed again. “It was an awkward mess. And as for men, well…there have been a few that I suspected might share my inclination and some that were of interest to me. And there have even been a few that I would feel safe being honest with. But all three traits in the same man is a true rarity. So this”— he gestured vaguely at himself and then at Wídfara—“is not something I’m really accustomed to, though I imagine that my behavior tonight might imply otherwise.”

“I understand.”

Guthláf raised an eyebrow. “What about you then? Similar story?”

Since he had raised the subject, Wídfara felt it only fair to be equally candid, and he nodded. “I gave women more than one try. Not because I enjoyed anything about it, but because part of me hoped that I could learn to like it over time. Things being how they are, that just seemed as though it would be easier.” He looked away momentarily. “But this is who I am. It’s what feels right to me. And for most of my life, no one else I knew even acknowledged that it was possible for a man to feel this way.”

“I know how that goes.” Guthláf gave his arm a gentle squeeze and then looked off in thought for a few moments. “Well, if neither of us is certain what we’re supposed to do, we’ll just have to make our own way. Would it be alright with you if I stayed?”

Wídfara turned and lifted the edge of his blanket with a smile, making space for Guthláf to fit himself in against the warmth of Wídfara’s chest, stomach and thighs. The nervous flutter of happiness this caused kept him awake for a while, long enough to hear Guthláf’s breathing become long and slow as he drifted to sleep. But even when Wídfara’s heart calmed and rest began to feel possible, he fought against it, unwilling to relinquish his feeling of contentment to the end of the day. And when his eyes finally grew irresistibly heavy and he gave in to his creeping exhaustion, his last waking thought was excited anticipation to see Guthláf again in the morning.

Wídfara slept harder and longer than he had in years, being roused only by the chimes of the morning bells, and he woke with his memories of the night before still vivid in his mind. But when he rolled over and opened his eyes, he was startled to find himself now alone. Some time while he slept, Guthláf had slipped out, leaving behind so little trace of his presence that Wídfara might have convinced himself the whole thing had been a dream if not for the mead bottle on the floor and a distinctive sweet scent lingering in the blankets that he would forevermore associate with Guthláf’s bare skin.

He pulled himself up on an elbow, his sleep-fogged mind trying to make sense of the empty space beside him. In another circumstance, he would take such an abrupt, unexplained departure as a sign of either desperately needed escape or cold dismissal. But he simply couldn’t imagine either to be true of Guthláf. He had little experience in these matters, but he had understood well enough the generous words of praise and sounds of pleasure. There had been only kindness and sincerity in Guthláf’s behavior, and it had been his suggestion to stay. Wídfara trusted in nothing more than his own intuition, and it told him that Guthláf wouldn’t hurt him for no reason. But then what else could explain such a change, one that he must have known would leave Wídfara surprised and confused? 

He dropped back to his pillow and threw an arm over his eyes. Perhaps it was fear, a loss of nerve that came on in the quiet of the night. The fear of exposure. The fear that a new entanglement, with its many unknowns and uncertainties, could ruin a lifetime of the prudence and caution that had always offered protection. Wídfara certainly understood that fear, which dwelt deep within him and probably always would. But he felt something else now, too. Something that, for the first time in his life, outweighed the fear and pushed it from his own mind. 

Amid the night’s heady mix of attraction and discovery, Wídfara had sensed a spark of real possibility – not just plain desire, but also admiration and acceptance and true understanding. And that spark was strong enough and precious enough to him that he would dare to follow it no matter the danger, to chase after that brilliant light and see where it led. To learn whether it could eventually kindle a roaring fire or would fizzle out on its own. 

He was certain that Guthláf had felt that same spark, a deep, instinctual sense that this could be something different. But he wouldn’t blame Guthláf if a moment of reflection had left him unwilling to risk the happy and successful life he had laboriously built just to pursue whatever prospect might exist in that bright, intense burst of feeling. That was much to ask of someone, and Wídfara had only compassion for the difficulty of making such a choice.

Still, disappointment settled on him with an uncomfortable heaviness, and worry soon joined it. He might have to accept the lost potential of what had felt to him like a special connection, and that was regret enough. But he would regret it still more if awkwardness between them now cost him even the friendship that had already taken hold – a friendship he valued and wanted to keep. 

If fear had really driven Guthláf from the room in the dark of night, perhaps he wouldn’t want to talk about any of it now — or even acknowledge it — in the light of day. Wídfara saw no advantage to forcing a conversation if doing so would make Guthláf uneasy. But if talking about it would make things worse, would not talking about it solve anything? Wídfara had no idea and no way to seek advice. Without a better thought, he decided simply to take his lead from Guthláf – to wait and see how he approached, how he acted, what he said, what he didn’t say — and then try to adjust his own intentions and reactions accordingly. It might not get him everything he wanted, but it would be far better than nothing.

He tossed aside the blankets with a sigh and pulled himself to his feet. Wallowing in his own disappointed hopes wouldn’t help anything, and he was eager to escape the room and the sight of the rumpled bedding that only seemed to mock those hopes. He readied himself as quickly as he could and rushed out the door to find a task to better occupy his mind. 

It was another warm, sunny morning, and the stable was coming to life as Wídfara arrived – riders dipping in and out of the tack room in search of a lost piece of equipment, farriers sorting nails and shoes, bales of hay being tossed down from the loft above. He took a surreptitious glance down the aisle where Syndrigan, Guthláf’s horse, was kept, but he saw only stablehands and took care not to break his step as he continued on toward his own horse’s stall. Before he made it, however, he was intercepted by a smiling Elfhelm, who threw a friendly arm around his shoulders and steered him gently away from his intended destination and toward the back of the barn instead.

“Now that you’re here and getting settled, it’s time for you to choose a novice. We have a bunch of them here today, and you can pick whichever one suits you best.”

“A novice, Marshal? I’m not sure what you mean.”

“Did you not have novices in the Wold?” He shook his head in answer to his own question. “No, I expect you didn’t. If population loss was a problem out there, they probably had to discontinue the practice some time ago.”

He turned them around a corner, where a group of boys in their early teenage years sat. They jumped to their feet at the sight of Elfhelm and lined up neatly in front of him.

“These young men hope to enter as rider candidates next year. If we pair them with a current rider now, they earn a small wage by helping to care for your equipment, run errands, or look after any particular needs of your horse beyond what the stablehands manage. And they get a chance to see the inner workings of the éored, observe training and learn more about what they can expect if they should qualify themselves someday.” He walked Wídfara slowly down the line of boys. “There are several new riders in the city’s other éoreds, but they aren’t here yet this morning and so you can have the first selection.”

“I’m to choose?” Wídfara stared blankly at the young faces in front of him. He had never laid eyes on any of them before that very moment, and he had no idea how he was supposed to distinguish between them other than to select one at random.

“It’s entirely up to you,” said Elfhelm. “Many of the finest families in Edoras are represented here, with generations of service to Rohan. I know you aren’t familiar with these boys like the other riders will be, but they’re all good young men and you really can’t make a bad choice.”

Wídfara looked again down the line of hopefuls, all facing straight ahead and standing as tall as possible. He could see that many of them were, indeed, from very fine families, sporting polished gold clasps on their belts and wearing handsome leather boots that probably cost more than every piece of clothing he’d ever owned. They weren’t boys that needed a wage, and Wídfara guessed they didn’t really need any extra help to be selected as rider candidates either. He hadn’t known many families with wealth in his life, but in his experience, money made opportunities happen all on its own.  

His eyes finally came to rest on the last boy in line, and only here did Wídfara see a novice he could relate to — a shirt with patches and visible wear, hands that were clean but already calloused from real labor, no finery or decoration or any element to his appearance that didn’t serve a necessary function. And yet, this young man stood just as tall as the others around him, determined to show his equal worth and proud, no doubt, for having earned his place there. Wídfara smiled at him and beckoned him over.

“Congratulations, Freogan,” said Elfhelm, putting one hand on the boy’s shoulder and the other on Wídfara’s. “And congratulations to you, Wídfara. You won’t find a harder worker in the whole city, and I’m sure he’ll do well by you.”

Elfhelm left them to prepare for the morning’s drills and exercises, and Wídfara and Freogan walked together to ready his horse. Wídfara chanced one more glance toward Syndrigan’s stall as they passed, and this time he could see the familiar blonde head towering over a cluster of young stablehands, all at rapt attention as Guthláf demonstrated a trick for maintaining balance during a full gallop. They clearly already understood what Wídfara had learned for himself the day before – that Guthláf was one of the best horsemen they were ever likely to see – and they stared up at him as he spoke like they were watching Eorl himself astride one of the mearas. Guthláf’s gaze never wavered from the boys in front of him, and Wídfara pulled his own away before anyone could follow it.

He turned instead to Freogan. His novice was a quiet boy of fourteen, slight but strong, who seemed determined to show his gratitude through diligent effort. He proved both a fast learner and a good hand with Cypren, and his company helped provide Wídfara a welcome distraction, something else to concentrate on rather than allowing his eyes and thoughts to keep straying back in Guthláf’s direction. They made quick work of the morning’s preparations, and he used the extra time to allow Freogan a few shots at the archer’s targets waiting in the training ring, always happy to try to convert another Rohirrim from the spear to the bow.

Training stretched well into the afternoon, broken up only by a short break at midday. Wídfara was ever conscious of Guthláf’s presence, aware of where he stood or sat or rode, but he followed his own plan, keeping his distance and trying not to look too often in Guthláf’s direction. As he waited and hoped for a reassuring word or look or gesture to make their own way to him, he threw himself fully into every exercise, grateful for another focus and eager to expend some nervous energy. He did extra runs through the training course, gave advice when it was requested, and tried to put all his attention on his fellow archers, which at least had the happy side effect of helping them get to know one another better after the prior day’s brief introductions. Arengan, the chief bowman of the éored, even invited Wídfara out for a pint with the group, and he left Cypren in Freogan’s capable hands after training in order to accompany them to the tavern up the hill from the barracks.

They took up a position at a table in the back, eight of them in all, and Wídfara soon found himself having a good time in spite of everything. The easy teasing and good natured bluster reminded him of his friends from back home, and it was comforting to feel like part of a unit again. His enjoyment only wavered when, an hour after arriving, Guthláf came in and took a seat at the bar, chatting casually with the woman who poured drinks. Wídfara felt the uncomfortable pang of disappointment in his chest again, further heightened from a long day with no word or sign to set his heart at ease. But he couldn’t allow one night’s impulsive encounter to totally derail his efforts to get settled in Edoras and so he stayed with Arengan and the group despite his discomfort. He even stayed when he had finished his ale and knew that he couldn’t spare the money for another. Instead, he held the table while the other men went up to seek their own new pints.

He counted his coins again as he waited, and when he heard the chair across from him scrape on the floor, he looked up expecting to see one of his group returned. But instead it was Guthláf himself, holding a full mug, who slid into the open seat and smiled softly at him. 

“You’re a hard man to get a private moment with today.”

“Am I?” Wídfara felt a nervous little flip in his stomach. “I didn’t mean to be.” That wasn’t entirely true, as he had purposefully distracted himself with constant activity. But if the effect had been to discourage Guthláf from approaching him, that certainly wasn’t what he intended.

“Indeed. I kept a careful watch, and there’s hardly been a minute when you didn’t have at least one other person around you.” He looked over his shoulder and to both sides. Although no one else sat close enough to hear him, he lowered his voice nonetheless. “I’ve been waiting for a moment to try to explain myself, if you’ll allow it.”

Wídfara’s eyes shifted to the bar, where Arengan and his companions were still gathered a safe distance away. He kept his gaze there as he spoke. “We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me any explanation.”

“I’d like to offer one all the same. And an apology. In the rush of everything that happened last night, I somehow stupidly forgot the fact that I would need to look after my dog. It was already near dawn when I realized it, but you were still sleeping and I didn’t want to disturb you without need. I thought I could slip out and back in before you woke, but I was wrong. While walking Slaga, I got trapped in a conversation with Harding, who is always absurdly talkative early in the morning, and by the time I shook him off and got to your room again, you were already up and gone.”

Wídfara’s eyes cut back quickly to Guthláf. “You came back?”

“I did, but I must have just missed you. And then I spent the whole day doing that over and over again, always seemingly unable to catch your eye at the right moment or get to you before Elfhelm or Arengan or someone else appeared at your side. But all I wanted to do was tell you that I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have wanted to suddenly wake up alone, with no word of explanation, and it was never my intention that you would.”

“So then you weren’t…having regrets about everything?”

“I wasn’t. Last night meant something to me, and I’d hate to think I ruined it by making you believe the opposite.” 

Wídfara felt his disappointment sliding away as Guthláf spoke, the weight of it sloughing off him like a mailcoat that had been unfastened and dropped to the floor, and he smiled. “Nothing is ruined. It was just a misunderstanding. And for my part, we can pretend this morning never happened. We can go back to things as they were last night.”

“I’ll be glad to try, but that will be hard for me because, in fact, I like you even better now than I did last night.”

“Better?” Wídfara laughed. “How could that even be possible when this is the first we’ve talked since then?”

“I saw this morning that Freogan is your novice.”

“That’s right.”

“And Elfhelm tells me the choice was yours and not his.”

“That’s also right, though I’m not sure I see the significance of it here.”

“I’ve known Freogan’s family for years. They’re good people who have far less than they deserve, and the extra money he’ll earn as a novice will do wonders for them. I suspect you could see that, and I think that’s exactly why you chose him. Is that not so?”

Wídfara’s cheeks colored a little in surprise, and he wondered how Guthláf had guessed so much. “Horse breeding families like mine have really struggled ever since the army started supplying its own horses. I know what it’s like to worry about meeting even basic needs, and I guess I saw a little of myself in him.”

“You’re a good person, Wíd. A kind person. I thought so already, but now I know it for sure.” He glanced back over his shoulder again, where Arengan and the other archers were gathering up freshly poured drinks and preparing to head back to their seats. “Stay here and have a good time. These men will be great friends to you. But if you’re not too tired when you get back to the barracks, I’d like it if you would find me there so we can spend a little time together.” He slid his own untouched ale across the table, allowing his fingers to brush lightly against Wídfara’s hand as he passed him the drink, and then stood.

“Guthláf! Come to join the Arrow Club, have you?” Arengan dropped mugs onto the table and gave Guthláf a slap on the back before gesturing at Widfara. “You were right about this one. He’s as good a drinking companion as he is an archer.”

“As a mere swordsman, I wouldn’t presume to intrude on your night out,” said Guthláf with a smile. “But take good care of your newest addition.” He glanced back briefly at Wídfara and then nodded to the group. “I’ll see you all later.” And then he was off, cutting through the tavern and out the front door.

Wídfara stayed at the table for another hour, joining with his new friends in talk and laughter until the first of them left to get home to a waiting family. Then he took the opportunity to slip out as well, walking with an undeniable haste in his steps as he headed back to the barracks and to Guthláf. 

He waited until the hallway was empty and then knocked lightly at Guthláf’s door. A voice called him in, where he was greeted most immediately by the curious attentions of Slaga, the tiny cause of all of that day’s confusion and worry. He hopped up now to paw excitedly at Wídfara’s shins, but a short whistle drew him back to his little cushion near the foot of the bed, where Guthláf himself sat, boots off and comfortable and smiling.

“I’m glad you came.” 

Just the sound of his voice sent a surge of pink warmth creeping over Wídfara’s face. “I was glad to be invited. For…whatever this is that we’re doing.”

Guthláf shifted to make room for Wídfara to sit beside him. “I’m not sure what we’re doing, and we’ll have to be very careful about doing it,” he said, laying a hand atop one of Wídfara’s. “But I think it might be something really great. Should we find out?”

Notes: Harding, the talkative early morning riser, is canon. Arengan and Freogan are not.

Next week, we time jump a number of months to Wíd and Guthláf in a really happy, loving place. Until Guthláf is given an opportunity to fulfill his dream at last, and Wíd…does not take it well.

Dividers as always by the lovely @quillofspirit

@emmanuellececchi @konartiste @sotwk @hobbitwrangler @dreambigdreamz (This list is based on prior expressions of interest but feel free to let me know if you want off! (Or on!))

[good-beanswrites]

Fe Aspec Week Day 4: Acceptance

This week on I Accidentally Made Myself Sad With My Own Angst :( As much as I know Forsyth would be the most accepting person in all of Valentia, I think his own insecurities/mindset would cause a bit of tension during his childhood with Python. It has a happy ending but I wanted to explore just a bit of that first...

“Python!” 

Forsyth’s tiny hands trembled, clutching the gift that he’d bought with his very own money. His father didn't need to know.

Python scrambled down the big oak tree to meet him. He tugged at the dress his father probably made him wear for the holiday. His hair had already come loose from it's braid, likely caught on the twigs and leaves of the tree. Forsyth waited anxiously at it's base for him to come down.

When he arrived, Forsyth shoved the box forward. He startled both of them with the force of it.

“I – I – I have this. For you. Will you – I mean – I would –” Forsyth’s cheeks burned red. It was clear what he was asking. There would be no other reason you’d give someone a perfectly wrapped package of sweets on the Day of Devotion unless you were asking them the question.

Python looked down at it. The two had been friends for so long, it took only a second for Forsyth to understand exactly what it meant. 

“Oh…” He felt his stomach twist up in a knot. His throat started to constrict. “I know Father doesn’t like you, but he doesn’t much like anyone. S-so we can make it work!”

“Fors…”

“We could keep it a secret!” Then, in desperation, “we could – we could run away together!”

“Fors!” Python whined. “C’mon, you know we’re too young for that!” With one hand he took the chocolates, and the other took Forsyth's arm. “We’re supposed to be climbing trees and playing pranks on Teacher – not doing gushy grown-up love stuff.”

Forsyth bit his lip. He didn’t think it was gushy at all. He didn’t trust his voice to speak; with one word he may just start bawling right here. The last thing he needed was to be scolded for being so emotional. 

Python beamed as if he hadn’t just shattered Forsyth’s heart into a million pieces. “Let’s just take it slow, okay? We’ll have plenty of time for all that when we’re older, okay?”

He coaxed a small nod from Forsyth.

“Speaking of! I heard Teach left the schoolhouse window open – have I got the perfect plan! We’ll share the chocolates after, okay? You’re my best friend, we should split them.”

I don’t want to split them. Forsyth let himself be tugged along. I wanted to give them all to you. To give everything to you.

He grit his teeth as they ran. He wasn’t the type to accept defeat after a small setback like this. So, Python wasn’t ready. That was fine. One day he would be. And Forsyth would be there. It was like every book he’d read: the steadfast knight would get the beautiful lover, if he was just patient enough.

He said a quick prayer to Mila, that one day they’d stop being friends, and true love would win out.

—

“Python!”

Forsyth’s hands trembled, his fists balled up in fury. 

“I am sick and tired of this.”

“Oh you’re tired of this? Then quit fucking confessing every single year. Every year it’s the same speech, and the same shitty plan to run away together. We’re not in some fairy tale, Fors. Just give it up.” Python moved to take a sip from his drink, turning his back. Though they’d both come of age, it wasn’t ale. Though it wasn’t ale, they both spoke as loudly as if they’d each had a barrel to drink. It was a good thing Python’s father was out all night; there was no one in the tiny house to hear them argue.

Forsyth grabbed the cup away before he could take a sip. It earned him a hard look, but a direct one. “I’m not tired of confessing, I’m tired of this type of disrespect!” He placed the drink down a foot away. “You can’t just be honest with me and tell me why I’m not good enough for you – it’s infuriating!”

“I am honest. I’ve told you, this has nothing to do with you. It’s me who–”

“Oh-ho, don’t give me that tired cliche! Every year, it’s another cryptic excuse, another roundabout lie!” He flung his hands in wild gestures, his voice pitching. “You say you’re not ready for commitment, yet you spend every day with me regardless. You say you would make a terrible housemate, yet you stay over at my home for weeks at a time. You say you’re not ready to be with someone, yet I catch word that you shared a bed with the innkeeper!”

“What, you jealous or something?”

“That is exactly what I am. And how dare you act like I’m the crazy one for it!” Tears threatened his eyes, but he pushed through. “I have been by your side your entire life, looking out for you, caring for you, giving all of myself over to you! And here you are, laughing in the face of my love! Like - like it’s another one of your jokes!

“Oh, you're jealous, huh? So is that why you do it? You do all that for me just to get laid at the end of the day? Well if you’d said that sooner, I would have happily –”

“You know that’s not what I meant!”

“Then what do you mean?”

“It doesn’t make any damned sense, Python!”

“It does, if you would just pipe down and listen when I –”

“Pipe down?” 

“Yeah! If you’d let me finish a damned sentence this will all make sense!”

“Fine then, go ahead and finish – give me one good reason why you don’t want to be with me!”

“When you’re acting like this I could give you a hundred!” Python swatted his cup away, spilling the drink all over the floor. He stormed out of the room.

A heavy silence fell over the house. Forsyth gathered his things. He left. He finally let his tears fall.

It was simple, he decided. All he needed to do was accept the fact that this relationship was going nowhere. Python didn't love him, and he'd just need to imagine whatever reasons he could. They should simply end things before they got any more hurt. 

End our friendship...

He cried through the night, unable to even muster a word to Mila. 

—

“Python!”

Forsyth’s hand was steady as it took the man’s shoulder. The pair locked eyes. 

“Run away with me.”

The wind rustled the leaves overhead. Usually the area was bustling with chaos as the new building was erected, but Python was the only one to stay back today. Forsyth would have teased him for the irony, if it hadn’t presented him with the perfect opportunity to ask his question.

Python rolled his eyes. “Har-har. I thought today was Day of Devotion, not Flostym Fools'…”

“Huh?” Forsyth’s expression flashed with confusion, then horror. “O-oh! Not like that, of course! Oh gods, I meant… the Deliverance.”

He spread his hands. “It’s clear we’ll never get the approval we seek to join. So I propose we do it in secret. Everyone will be distracted by the village festivities tonight. If we don’t come home right away, everyone will assume it’s for… the festivities. It will give us a reasonable head start. We won’t need to worry about them catching up to us by the time they finally realize we’ve gone.”

He looked eagerly to Python. 

“Heh, using all the hype around love to make our escape... you’re a true ally after all, Fors!”

Forsyth’s look soured. “L-listen. I swear, I would never ask you that again. I mean, we got over that years ago. I nearly lost you to that argument, and I shall never make the same mistake again. I know how much pain I put you through, and I would never dream of –”

“Hey. I know. You had a lot on your mind, then.” He let out a loud sigh. “Which is why I’m gonna come along with you. Somebody’s gotta help you find that special someone, right?”

“Do you mean it? Wait, what is that supposed to mean?”

With a hearty laugh, Python pulled him into a hug. Forsyth held him close. Reality may not follow a path like the perfect little fairy tales he read as a child, but that made it no less perfect.

“So… that’s a yes?”

Python leaned back so he could study his face. “You’re really serious about this, huh?”

“W-were you not?”

“Eh, I’m not serious about anything…” He offered his hand. “But I’m in. I’m always in.”

Forsyth accepted it, clasping it within both of his. He found himself too choked up for words, though he didn’t care if anyone saw him cry. He wiped tears from his cheeks and smiled at Python’s kindhearted teasing.

He thanked the gods that they would never stop being friends.

[ghostradiodylan]

Dylan was the one with the big pathetic crush, right? Ryan was supposed to be cool about this. He was saying all the cool lines. So why didn’t he feel cool? His face felt physically warm and it wasn’t because of his proximity to the campfire.

Playlist Needle Drop: Kiss The Boy - Keiynan

Companion piece to Truth or Dare: Dylan's Version.

Both are excerpts from the second chapter of my longer story Particles & Waves.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Ryan had said he wasn’t coming to this party. 

He’d been pretty adamant about it too, so much so that a couple of the girls had gasped at the intensity of his refusal. Ryan had fought with himself all afternoon. He wasn’t the most flexible person in the world when it came to plans changing and the upheaval of what should have been their final day at camp had been harder on him than on the others. He really couldn’t understand how easily they all seemed to take everything in stride. But even keeping his own particular sensitivities in mind, Ryan felt things had objectively been extremely weird.

Chris Hackett was being cagey as fuck, and that was so unlike him that Ryan worried he might be having a psychotic break. Then their van had caught fire out of fucking nowhere and now they were stuck spending the night at the empty camp. It would have been a long drive to make multiple times if they’d split up and taken shifts in Chris’s car, but didn’t he know anyone else nearby with a car? The whole Hackett family lived just through the woods and Ryan knew Kaylee and Caleb had their own wheels. Hell, they had their own scrapyard full of car parts, surely together they could have fixed the van in a matter of hours if they hadn’t all gone MIA at the same time. It hadn’t made sense to Ryan, but no one else had seemed overly concerned.

And now Ryan had been left in charge, but nobody particularly wanted to listen to him. And, really, why would they? He was being a total buzzkill and he knew it. Still, something was very, very wrong here and it stuck in Ryan like a splinter. His impulse was to find a quiet corner of the lodge, curl up into the smallest possible ball of humanity he could become, put in his earbuds, and check out of life until it had time to think about its actions and decided to start making sense again. But Dylan’s face had fallen when Ryan had expressed his highly reasonable concerns and the foundation of Ryan’s reserve began to crack as soon as that cheeky grin had slipped, he could feel it as it happened.

What was it about Dylan? He could be so fucking annoying. He tried to make everything into a joke or a bit and he had no respect for boundaries, especially not for Ryan’s. And every time Ryan let Dylan get away with violating those boundaries, he knew he was just reinforcing his bad behavior, inviting him to be even worse the next time. But when Ryan was honest with himself, he had to grapple with the fact that easily the most annoying thing about Dylan was how much he liked him.

Dylan had come after him when he stormed off, because of course he had. Of course he would ruin the sanctity of Ryan’s attempt at a dramatic exit. And Ryan pretended not to be pleased to see him. He did a lot of that, he wasn’t even sure why. They’d gone into the office to charge their phones and Dylan kept making stupid jokes and asking Ryan for his phone number and Ryan kept not giving it to him, even though he definitely wanted him to have it. He would give it to him eventually, he knew, he just wasn’t in the mood right now. Maybe tomorrow, though, on the ride home. Even once Dylan’s phone was charged, Ryan suspected his offer of shared earbuds would be accepted if he extended it again—Dylan might not have cared about Bizarre Yet Bonafide, but he definitely cared about getting to sit close enough to Ryan for the earbuds to reach him. He’d just start making a contact entry for Dylan in his phone and silently pass it over to him while they rode in the van and he’d text him with a noncommittal “hey” so he had his number. He knew Dylan would take it from there and Ryan knew that he would let him.

No big deal, he thought, I’m definitely not falling in love with him. Not even a little bit.

The truth was, Ryan had begun to feel the ground tilting beneath him, tipping him inexorably in Dylan’s direction. He knew that eventually the incline would be steep enough that he could no longer resist, he’d have no choice but to topple into the other boy and accept the fact that he was falling for him. But, for now, Ryan’s instinct was to stand his ground. For a while, he’d thought maybe he could wait it out and actually get away from camp before that happened, avoid a messy entanglement that surely wouldn’t be worth it in the end, but time was no longer on his side. He’d reached the tipping point and he couldn’t get away. He wasn’t playing hard-to-get, not intentionally, he was just cautious. Ryan didn’t trust people easily and though Dylan was steadily chipping away at his defenses, his natural response to someone frequently choosing to be near him was to question their motives. 

In the meantime, Ryan would give Dylan what he wanted with regard to the party, he’d known that he would as soon as he’d said that he wouldn’t. It was just the principle of the thing, someone had to act like they gave a shit around here. He tried not to interrogate the fact that it seemed more important to him at the moment not to disappoint Dylan than it did not to disappoint Chris Hackett, but he was also mad at Chris for dipping out on him, on all of them, so that was a factor too.

Dylan had made Ryan into a liar, and Ryan sat at the fire pit hoping to sand the edges off his anxiety with some disgustingly unrefrigerated beer. He tried to tell himself he was doing it to keep an eye on everyone. It was a reasonable enough cover that he could tell anyone who asked, though no one did. After all, he could head off trouble much easier if he stuck with the crowd than he could from his intended position of isolation inside the lodge. But Dylan kept catching his eye with this dumb little self-satisfied smile on his face, like he was just so pleased that Ryan had come around to his scheming once again, and Ryan’s traitorous heart had leapt in his chest every time he did. 

And then Emma had sniped Abi’s turn out from under her and fixed him in her sights.

“Ryan,” she had said, “truth or dare?”

Ryan had a general idea of what was coming. Kaitlyn had already planted the seed. This game was going to be all about forcing everyone’s naked feelings out into the open so they could be poked and prodded and judged by the crowd. Every truth would be a confession and every dare a kiss. Neither felt particularly safe to Ryan, but he went for actions over words and piled on the bravado, hoping he could fake confidence well enough to convince even himself that he wasn’t nervous or uncomfortable about this at all. 

“Dare,” he said, “gimme what you got.”

She’d said he had a choice and he’d asked if she could do that. He wasn’t expecting to have to make another choice beyond choosing the dare and now he couldn’t predict what it would be. He felt like the whole camp knew Dylan was into him, who else would she involve?

“I dare you to kiss either Kaitlyn… or Dylan.”

Kaitlyn? Was Kaitlyn interested in him too? Did Emma think Ryan was interested in Kaitlyn? She might have flirted with him a little and he’d probably flirted back just a bit, but he hadn’t thought it was anything serious. This added wrinkle tripped him up momentarily, not because he wasn’t sure who to choose, but because he wasn’t sure how to go about it. He did like Kaitlyn, and were he not increasingly certain that his trajectory was set with Dylan at its endpoint, he might have welcomed the opportunity to kiss her. Certainly, if he’d been dared to kiss her outright without having the option to kiss Dylan instead, he would have done so and probably been perfectly happy about it. It was just a kiss, after all, not a commitment.

But in this scenario, kissing Kaitlyn meant not kissing Dylan. And the more Ryan thought about kissing Dylan, the more he thought that not doing so would be a wholly unacceptable choice for him to make. Ryan hadn’t told anyone at camp he was bi because it was none of their business, but the dare had seemed, in a way, calculated to ferret out the truth of his sexuality. He didn’t think he owed his truth to anyone, with the possible exception of Dylan, but it was the last night of camp and no one had been anything but supportive of Dylan being conspicuously gay for two solid months—any gripes his fellow counselors had about Dylan had nothing to do with his being gay and everything to do with his being Dylan. Anyway, Ryan might not owe anyone anything, but he didn’t have anything to hide either.

“Wow… I mean… I guess ‘both’ is off the table?”

Ryan thought better of this statement as soon as it was too late to take it back. He’d meant to indicate that anyone would be lucky to get to kiss either of his options, but he’d made himself sound a little too neutral. Plus, what if Emma called his bluff and told him to kiss them both? He’d have to do it and he wasn’t sure how any of them would feel about that, even him. Would his attempt at appeasement just end up upsetting both Kaitlyn and Dylan? It wouldn’t be unheard of for his good intentions to blow up on him in such a manner. Luckily for Ryan, Emma wanted him to choose, so choose he did.

“Dylan,” he said, “let’s go.”

Dylan rose and walked his way and Ryan hoped his own face didn’t reflect all the undignified fluttering his heart was doing. Dylan was the one with the big pathetic crush, right? Ryan was supposed to be cool about this. He was saying all the cool lines. So why didn’t he feel cool? His face felt physically warm and it wasn’t because of his proximity to the campfire. And then Dylan was leaning toward him and pressing his lips to Ryan’s so gently and it was so good and so right and then, abruptly, it was over.

The kiss had been too short and too restrained, barely more than a peck really. The kind of kiss you get when you’re playing spin the bottle in middle school. But the sparks had come from the closeness and the chemistry and they’d been undeniable. Dylan had so clearly wanted it, and yet he’d been the one who pulled away, as if he’d been afraid of taking too many liberties. This was the guy who’d been joking about boners and sex dungeons all night? Ryan had kind of expected something a little sexier, maybe borderline raunchy even, but he’d been so… respectful. It was equal parts disappointing and endearing. And Ryan’s lips, all of him really, had chased after Dylan, the movement had been involuntary. As Dylan retreated, Ryan had fought the urge to grab him by his shirt collar, to pull him back in for a second attempt. But he couldn’t let himself do it. The reaction from the onlookers if he had, well, Ryan was sure it would be enough for him to die of embarrassment on the spot. They didn’t deserve the free show anyway. Not here, he’d thought, and not now, but definitely later.

“Always happy to please,” Ryan had said, as if he had even done anything besides sit there and be stunned. God, he felt like such a tool sometimes.

But, to be fair, Dylan did look pleased. They had smiled at each other like two smitten idiots because, as Ryan was finally allowing himself to admit, that’s exactly what they were. Both of them. For the brief remainder of the messy game, Dylan kept giving him these smoldering half-lidded glances and Ryan kept thinking, later, we’ll come back to this later. Maybe in the lodge, or the broken-into cabin, or right here in one of these tents, they were going to get away from everyone else and give that kiss another try. Another several tries. Later. Later. Later.

And then all hell had broken loose and there was no later. And now there never would be. 

Nick was bitten and became increasingly sick and scary. Then Dylan was bitten and everything turned to blood and chainsaws and ‘bears’ and Ryan hadn’t been sure if anything that happened before that counted anymore. He’d thought maybe the connection between them had been severed along with Dylan’s hand.

Still, Ryan was glad they’d shared that moment by the campfire. It was the last bit of blissfully ignorant normalcy they’d get to enjoy. As much as he’d wished their first and only kiss had gone differently, wished that everything that night had gone differently, he hoped it had given an affirmative answer to the question Dylan seemed to ask with his whole being any time they were within ten feet of each other.

Ryan would have liked to cut the memory of the kiss free of the rest of the timeline, paste it into a different volume of his mental scrapbook, and keep it from being tainted by everything that came after. But memory just didn’t work that way, it wasn’t like the partitioned plate Ryan used at home to keep different foods from touching. The blackness spread, branching, through his memories like it had through Dylan’s arm. No matter how hard he tried to build walls between them in his mind, the bitter would always seep into the sweet. Ryan might return to the memory of Dylan’s lips on his when he found himself craving sweetness, but he’d always come away with his mouth tasting of blood.

[sivellevossen]

Just An Act

~part two~

Prompt: You and Sebastian broke up following the events of 5th year. Now it is 7th year, you and Ominis are together and all seems well… until you and Sebastian are casted as lovers in a play.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10 *completed*

*7th year*

It was the the beginning of your 7th year, the halls buzzing with excitement from all students. You and Ominis had been dating since the middle of your 6th year. Since the Sebastian incident in the Undercroft, Ominis did everything he could to keep you away from him, even going about threatening the poor kid behind your back. You had no idea of the events happening behind the scenes, so you opted to just believe your drift from Sebastian had been merely coincidental and natural. Although it was odd that you literally never saw him..

As you walked hand in hand with Ominis, you scanned the halls of both new and familiar faces catching up and settling in. Poppy and Natty sat at one of the benches, waving you two over. You tugged on Ominis’s hand, leading him to your two best friends.

“Hello my favorite couple in all of Hogwarts!” Poppy beamed. If Ominis had any doubt of who you were headed to, it instantly vanished. His lips crept into a small smile, a pink blush forming.

“Good afternoon Poppy, I hope your summer was well” He greeted. You and Ominis had been inseparable since the incident, instantly melting into one another. Ominis was the reason you had Poppy and Natty now. His influence on you made a huge difference in your social life. He made sure to walk you to class, turned studying into dates, and it had an overall positive effect on how you treated others. When you were with Sebastian, it was you two against the world and although you loved it at the time, it truly did bring you down..

“Did you see the posting? Hogwarts is hosting a play to welcome back students and promote unity between the houses” Natty smiled, gesturing over to the poster next to the library. You chucked at the mention of unity, remembering the days where Sebastian convinced you Gryffindors were “practically born evil” as he would put it.. however under further review, he may have been biased against a certain ginger boy.

Sebastian.. your thoughts occasionally wandered to him. You couldn’t help but question what could’ve been if you two hadn’t begun succumbing to the dark arts. You often wondered if he had stopped after that day as you (mostly) did. You had just learned how to properly utilize them in dire situations in battles outside of the castle. Ominis couldn’t completely get rid of your spark after all..

You peered at the posting, students swarming that spot, signing up for auditions and volunteering helping hands.

“Oh! That sounds like fun! It wouldn’t hurt to try right? I mean it is our last year, we should all sign up!” Poppy chimed. You looked over at your boyfriend, his smile never fading. He was so happy for you, having these friends and being able to call you his girlfriend. He was so proud.

“You know Poppy, that could be fun, Ominis and I taking the stage..what do you think Ominis?” You asked, squeezing his hand.

“I’m not sure they’d fancy the blind guy acting in front of a crowd…perhaps something offscreen.. regardless of my role you have the promise of flowers.” He smiled. To be honest, Ominis knew there was no way a blind guy was getting a lead role in the play. However, he didn’t want his absence to influence your decision, so he opted with something behind the scenes

You laughed, Ominis was truly the most supportive and best lover you had ever had. It was like he was taken out of a novel and placed into your hands. His efforts to make you happy had no limits.

You placed a light kiss on his cheek, happy with his agreement, “Yes! Come on guys lets sign up”. Your group headed over to the poster as the crowd dissipated. In bold letters it stated that all 7th years received priority due to the limited time they had left in the castle. Perfect!

Poppy signed up for just about every role: understudy, sound tech, prop decorator etc.. she just wanted to be as involved as possible.

Natty opted for assistant director

Ominis signed up for main director, him and Natty would work great together if it worked out that way

And you had the confidence to take the female lead, you knew you wanted it. And Ominis nurtured your confidence over the past year. Hell, if things hadn’t changed since 5th year, you probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of performing.

“Mmm..” you heard Poppy mumble as she looked at the sign up sheet concerned. You raised an eyebrow. She turned to whisper something in Ominis’s ear that you couldn’t quite make out. Ominis’s face twisted for just a second, taking the pen from you and writing his name next to the male lead role.

“Ominis?” You questioned, utterly confused because he had just told you he didn’t have much of an interest.

“It could be fun.” He stated bluntly, putting his arm around your shoulder and holding you close. You noticed his sudden change in demeanor, but decided against questioning him in front of your friends.

“This is so exciting!” Poppy exclaimed. The four of you headed to the library, discussing the possibilities of what 7th year could bring to everyone.

You were so busy signing up for the play with your friends that you didn’t pay any attention to who else was on that list…

FEMALE LEAD: Octavia <3

MALE LEAD: Sebastian <3

A/N Thank you for the attention Part 1 got! This is mostly a filler but I promiseee it’ll get angsty and juicy! It’s been so long since I dabbled in writing rather than reading :)

[erdogan-nevra]

Left Behind

Date: March 16th and beyond

Locations: London, Porto

Medea was silent in the chair next to her. Or as next to her as she could be as they were in separate pods across the aisle. She doubted the woman wanted to talk but even if she did, it would have been drowned out by the constant thrum of the airplane.

Nevra had never demanded anything from the Rutherfords in the entirety of her employment. They likely would have given her whatever she asked for, within reason, but she had never taken advantage of that. Advantage of their generosity and what giving it to people meant. Most would mistake it for loyalty or comradeship. A chance to tell the people who worked for them that they cared when really it was a chance to show the rest of the world how much fucking money they had. 

Fine, let them throw it around. The eleven hour flight would be more bearable in first class. 

~

“Wait, I’m coming. Wait, wait!” The knock had been soft at first but grew the longer she took to disentangle herself from her blanket cocoon on the couch. The hallways of her little cottage was already narrow and when Sabir zigged the same time she did, Nevra found her knees slamming to the carpet. She shook her head and nudged the dog away, talking loudly before she even opened the door. 

“I didn’t think you’d come thi-”

Ayaz. Not who she’d expected to see but Nevra smiled nonetheless. Maybe he’d remembered her birthday as well and was bored enough to come wish her so in person. She crossed her arms and put on a small pout. 

“I hope my present is hiding somewhere in your coat because I don’t see one and I’ll be honest, if you didn’t get me anything, I might just cry.”

It took her three more beats to understand that he wasn’t there to wish her a happy birthday. 

What was that look on his face? 

“Ayaz?”

“Nev, let’s go inside.” 

She didn’t know why but her heart started racing as he put a hand on her back and shut the door behind them. 

~

We will be landing in Porto Velho in twenty minutes. Please have your arrival card and any items to declare ready and in hand.  

She could feel Medea’s side eye and decided to ignore it. Neither were traveling as their namesake and both had only a carry on. A few changes of clothes was all that was needed for this trip. 

The plane rolled into port with a soft bump. Nevra was on her feet in seconds. 

“Easy there.” Medea’s voice snaked through her consciousness, squeezing uncomfortably, suffocating her with its very presence. 

Ayaz had suggested the woman come with her and when Nevra had told him she didn’t need a babysitter, he shrugged. Yet her arrival at Heathrow and the sight of his ex-wife told Nevra enough. They didn’t trust her, not right now. Not with-

Nevra smiled at the customs worker. When they’d gotten off the plane and ended up here was beyond her. Everything blurred together now. “No, nothing to declare. Just here for a business trip.” Her face remained calm and inviting. Learning to play different parts had been one of the main skills she’d learned as an assassin. She’d never imagined she’d be using it in her daily life just to reassure people she wasn’t going to throw herself off a bridge. 

Medea was next to her again. The Turk could feel her resisting the urge to take her elbow and guide her to the car that was waiting outside. Both women knew what would happen if she touched Nevra. She’d practically bit her head off at Heathrow to prove it. So unlike her. Then again, none of her actions had been like her the past few days. 

What would he think of it all?

~

“Nevra, did you hear what I said?”

Dead. 

Dead. 

Dead.

The snap of fingers echoed in the air. 

The person she’d chosen to love was dead. 

The person who had chosen to love her was dead. 

He was dead. 

Fingers wrapped around her wrists, pressure building each moment she kept silent. 

She had always been the one to leave when things came down to it. Her community, her friends, her fiancé. Nevra always made the choice. It never made it any easier but she had always been in control of who entered and left her life. That way she always knew who to blame when those horrible days eventually showed their faces. 

Who could she blame for this? 

Not herself. 

The drug dealer? Absolutely.

The women and men who joined him for god knows how long until he’d been the unfortunate victim of a bad batch? Sure.

Kerem and his anger, his unfuckingreasonable anger toward their situation? If she tried hard enough. 

Not herself though. 

But Berat…

“Nevra, come back.”

No, she would never, could never blame him. She had chosen him and she wouldn’t blame that person. Even if-

So now she was the one left behind and god did it fucking suck. A harsh laugh escaped her lips. She finally noticed Ayaz and saw the look of concern at her outburst.

~

Blood splattered her face as the assassin pulled the trigger of the gun resting at the base of the man’s skull. It was messier than normal but he hadn’t come quietly and she was pissed off enough not to care. Medea on the other hand looked less than pleased. Blood also splattered the toes of her shoes. She took one look at Nevra’s blood covered face and audibly exhaled through her nose. 

“At least you used a silencer.” She could barely hear the words over the roaring in her head and the sounds of passing cars on the street at the end of the alley.

A burner phone appeared in the older woman’s hand. A quick picture and a moment before confirmation before she tossed it into a barrel, followed by a lit match. A tiny part of Nevra wanted to burn the dead man as well but that wasn’t the job. This job was finished. 

She took out her own phone and pressed the name at the top. Three rings before it picked up. Time difference, right. He wouldn’t care though, not really. 

“Another one.” 

Ayaz sighed on the other line and he kept silent for a moment, no doubt debating how long he should indulge her desire to lose herself. 

“There’s a woman in Launceston…”

~

“You’re sure? No possibility you’re wrong?” Her throat felt like she’d eaten a handful of gravel. She felt her hands begin to shake in Ayaz’s grip. A shake of his head and a slight bow but he never averted her eyes. Never severed that last tether of support she needed. 

Nevra looked toward the front door and slowly allowed the realization that Berat would never walk through it again to wash over her. How was she supposed to get through everything without him? 

They’d talked for hours and nights on end of how it had been so simple to choose each other. How, once they’d said screw it and thrown caution to the wind, life had been so much happier. Their happiness had been a choice, her choice. 

This was not her choice. 

This is what it felt like to be left behind. 

If he was going to leave her behind, then she was going to leave everyone else behind too.

“Give me a job.” 

It wasn’t a question. It wasn’t said in anger or sadness or despair. It wasn’t a want but a need.

It looked like he was going to refuse her so she shook her head. No, don’t stop me.

“Give me a job.” 

~

The second plane was just as comfortable as the first had been. First class again, only this time Medea had done something unexpected. She’d bought out the entire first class. Nevra knew she was standing at the back of the area talking to the hostesses. She didn’t care what she was telling them. No one bothered her though. 

As the woman settled in the back, the Turk settled in the front. Maybe her babysitter had gone through what Nevra was going through. Maybe she expected her to use the privacy to break down and cry or throw a tantrum or let all hell loose. Nevra intended on refraining from each one of those things. 

If she was going to cry it would be on her own terms. Her grief would be her choice. Everything from here on out would be controlled by her because fuck this feeling. A better person would have taken the opportunity to understand, this was how she’d made other people in her life feel. Before, she would have been that better person. 

Now she wasn’t and didn’t care to be. 

Berat Yalaz would be the last person who would make a choice for her and the last person to leave her behind. 

The thought made her sigh.

[kimbappykidding]

How you ask Mamamoo out

Solar - She becomes an adorable mess

You'd liked Solar for a while now and admired so many things about her. How good a leader she was, how powerful her voice was, how loud and excited she got when playing a game and also how great a friend she was. She was always there when you needed her no matter her busy idol schedule and that's how you fell for her. All her members were aware of your crush on her and encouraged you to ask her out assuring you she would say yes but it took 3 months of them hyping you up for you to do it.

They'd even helped plan it for you and arranged for Solar to be in the practice room all ready for you when you "forgot your phone" and had come to look for it. Solar spotted you as soon as you walked in and shot you a big smile which made all her members smirk. You tried to pretend you hadn't seen them and smiled back at Solar. "Hey Y/n, what’s a nice girl like you doing here?" Solar called. That did make you blush but if you stopped what you were doing anytime Solar made you light headed you'd never get anything done. "I've lost my phone and I was in here rehearsing this morning" you said. Solar was immediately in leader mode "hmm well I haven't seen anything but let's search together yeah?". You thanked her and started looking in all the obvious places, the plug sockets, the corners, the mats etc. You felt slightly bad considering your phone was in your pocket but the members all gave you the thumbs up and conveniently left the room. After exhausting all the possible options Solar sighed "maybe it fell behind the sound unit? If you help me I bet we can totally move it" she said prepared to rearrange the studio for you but you stopped her. "No it's okay...I've been a few places so I'll have a look for it there". Solar nodded "do you need any help?". You shook your head "no I've wasted too much of your time already but I do have a question for you". Your heart was hammering in your chest but Solar just nodded "oh yeah? What is it?". You could feel yourself shaking and felt like it was 100 degrees in here but swallowed that fear and stared at the beautiful girl in front of you. "So I really like you, as more than a friend and was wondering if you'd maybe want to get dinner with me sometime?".

The few seconds before Solar responded seemed to go on for an eternity but when she responded it made it all worth it. Solar's eyes widened and then an unmistakable blush spread across her face and she stared at the floor unable to look at you. "Yeah I'd love that!" she said her voice breaking and she winced going even redder "I really like you too so would definitely want to do that...with you. On a date" she said mumbling and you couldn't believe 1. that she'd said yes and 2. that the unflappable leader was a blushing mess because of you! You always saw Solar as confident and cool but this was a totally new and unseen side. "Sorry" she said "I know I'm acting really uncool right now I've just been wanting to ask you for ages and I can't really believe this is happening". She was so damn adorable you took her hands and squeezed them "well it is, I think you're one of the kindest, smartest, most fun people I've ever met and I can't wait to pursue this with you". Solar went pink again but she nodded not looking away from your gaze "me too, I promise I'll be a great girlfriend...wait shit you didn't ask me to be your girlfriend just to go on a date dammit Solar! I'm sorry" she said to you and you laughed "Solar it's okay I love seeing this side to you". "You do? You're not regretting asking me out?" she asked and you shook your head "not for a second, so are you free Friday?". Solar nodded "yes" and you smiled "great I'll text you some places we can go" and waved goodbye. When you got out of the studio you both collapsed with huge goofy grins on your face.

 Moonbyul - She thinks you're joking

Let's be honest Moonbyul was a woman magnet, so there was really no questions of if you'd fall for her but more when and the answer to that question was within 1 month of meeting her. You thought you were a pretty slick gay, you didn't panic over a pretty face and were calm and collected but then you met Moonbyul and that all changed. She flirted with you 5 times in your first meeting and although you calmly flirted back with her on the inside you felt like your legs were jelly. Every meeting with her was like that as Moobyul was the queen of flirting. All her members claimed she'd met her match in you because you did flirt back with her and the two of you had a very cheeky friendship. The only problem with that is, you weren't joking. You meant every word you said to her but Moonbyul didn't realise that and you were too scared to tell her until eventually one day it just slipped out.

You were over at Moonbyul's house getting ready to go out shopping when as usual you got sidetracked. Moonbyul's new single came out and she asked if you wanted to listen to it and of course you said yes. You loved when Moonbyul rapped but adored her singing voice and smiled the whole way through it. "So what do you think?" she asked "I wasn't sure how my voice came across because you know it's not as strong as the other girls...." when you cut her off. "Moonbyul, it was amazing". "Really?" she asked and you nodded "yep, the beat was great and the lyrics were so truthful and so many people are going to connect with them. Plus your voice is beautiful just like you are". Moonbyul pushed your shoulder and stood up to get her coat "can you stop joking with me for 2 seconds?". "I wasn't joking with you" you said and Moonbyul shook her head laughing. You were tired of pretending so you were finally honest.

"I'm being serious, I think you're very beautiful and I really like you" you said and Moonbyul paused. She had her back to you so you couldn't see her reaction but could see how tense her shoulders had become. "You do?" she asked and you nodded "yes, I've been serious this whole time but never worked up the courage to tell you...you've never been a joke to me Moonbyul". Moonbyul still hadn't turned around and you had no idea what was going through that pretty head of hers. "I understand if you don't feel the same way, that's totally fine" you assured her "I just wanted you to know". "No" Moonbyul said and your heart froze, when she didn't reply you prompted her "no what?". "No, I want you" Moonbyul said turned around and you saw the shocked expression on her face but also the big smile. "This was never just a joke to me either and I'd love to take you out some time". You grinned before shaking your head "take me out? I asked you out! Surely it's me who gets to take you out". Moonbyul smirked "technically you just said you liked me, not that you wanted to take me on a date so when people ask I get to say I was the one who asked you out" she said poking you in the shoulder. You shook your head laughing at her "you're unbelievable!" and she laughed "I know but you're the one with a crush on me" making you blush. Moonbyul wrapped her arms around you in a hug and you gave in hugging her back "I am the person with a crush on you" and Moonbyul giggled which was the nicest noise you'd ever heard. You vowed at that moment to make her as happy and laugh as much as you possibly could.

Wheein - You have to get through her members

Wheein was the fake maknae of the group and you were aware all her members treated her that way. You found it really sweet how they all rallied anytime she needed anything and took care of her however you never expected them to be so protective over Wheein when it came to you. You'd been friends with Wheein from pretty much the start as you both debuted around similar times and from there your friendship developed into a romance. You weren't very good at keeping secrets so planned to ask Wheein out but also knew her members well enough to know they'd want to know first. So you texted Hwasa asking if you could swing by on a day you knew Wheein was off filming and she said yes.

You walked into the studio and saw the 3 girls messing around while they were supposed to be rehearsing. "Y/n!" Solar cried "tell them two to stop messing around and actually do some work". You raised your hands "I'm not taking sides" and watched as they literally ran rings around Solar before calming down. "So what did you have to tell us?" Hwasa asked and you paused "I'm going to ask Wheein out". They all paused and you knew you'd done the right thing coming to them personally. 

"You are?" Hwasa asked and you nodded "and I figured you might have questions". Moonbyul nodded "that's point 1 to you because yes we do, what are your intentions with Wheein?" she asked. You blushed "I just want to date her, to spend time with her and be around her more and see her smile". "Good answer" Solar nodded "and how do you plan to have a relationship while also being a busy idol?". You were expecting this one so nodded "well Wheein and I already have a successful friendship for a year while being idols. As you know we meet up regularly and I always respond to her messages within hours. I will make Wheein my priority and makes sure every day she at least hears from me virtually is not in person and of course I will discuss this with Wheein and make sure we have the same understanding about communication". "That is important" Hwasa admitted "finally, what are your plans for the future?". "For the future?" you asked and Hwasa nodded "do you plan on being an idol forever?". You thought about it for a few seconds before replying "I love singing and performing so would like to continue with my group for as long as we can but after that I'd like to step down from the spotlight and have a normal life. I'd like to move out of the city and settle down with some pets and just have a content country life". The girls all looked at each before nodding "okay well you've passed the test so we have no problem with you asking Wheein....". "Asking me what?" a voice called and you turned to see Wheein herself. "Wheein, I thought you had filming all day?" Solar asked. Wheein nodded "I did but then the director got called away on an emergency so we finished up and rescheduled. What's going on here? You look like you were interviewing y/n". "Well we kinda were" Hwasa admitted and Solar shot her a look. Wheein looked at you "Y/n? What did you want to ask me?". You blushed but shot her a warm smile "fancy getting a coffee from the canteen?".

Once you were refuelled Wheein turned to you with a concentrated expression on her face that let you know she wanted answers so you told her. "I'm here because I want to ask you if you'd like to go on a date with me". Wheein blinked "I'm sorry what?". "I like you Wheein" you said "and wanted to know if you want to be something romantic with me". Wheein blushed "I...but why did that involve my members?". You laughed "I know how protective over you they are so I thought I'd tell them first and answer any worries they had about me". Wheein's eyes widened "but they love you! I can't think of anyone better for me to go out with" before blushing. You smiled "they did approve but their opinion doesn't matter, only yours does. So what do you think? If you say no they'll be no awkwardness or hurt feelings. Absolutely no pressure". Wheein blushed "of course I want to go out with you!" and she reached across the table and took your hand. You both went pink as you stared at one another and then Wheein's eyes went to something behind your head and her smile froze "give me one minute, I have some members to kill for grilling you". She ran over to them and then ran after them when they fled knowing what was coming. You watched her track them down smiling to yourself because you'd got a date with that girl.

 Hwasa - She makes your sweat

You were known for being the cool girl in your group but nobody could compare to the Queen of cool Hwasa. You'd met through the idol circuit and got pushed together often for your bold stage presence and confident looks. You'd interacted a lot in this way and naturally became friends. You soon realised that while Hwasa was also shy and cute, her confidence was authentic and wasn't an act at all. She was comfortable in herself and loved herself which was one of the most endearing things about her and a reason you fell for her. She was perfect in about a million different ways and you decided you couldn't keep your cool member card and NOT ask her out.

You had the whole thing planned out. You were meeting up to go out to see a movie and then go for a meal. You purposefully dressed up hoping to impress Hwasa but when you got to her house to pick her up she was dressed in a stunning red trouser-top combo. "Wow" you said as you got out of the car and Hwasa smiled "funny I was going to say the same thing about your outfit, your ass looks amazing in that dress". You blushed "thanks I thought I'd dress up a little tonight and great minds clearly think alike because you did too". Hwasa smiled "we're just perfect for each other aren't we?" making you go bright pink and all you could manage was to open her door for her. Hwasa was usually flirty but this was something else. 

When you walked from the car to the cinema she entwinced your arms and you walked in together like a couple. Then during the film she asked if you could put your arm around her because she was struggling to get comfortable. You did as she said and she nestled into your neck and stayed cuddled up with you the whole film. Then on the drive to the restaurant she touched your leg when she got excited about some gossip she hadn't shared with you and then forgot to move it, keeping it there the whole way there. At the restaurant she kept complimenting you and when her food arrived she insisted you try it, even leaning across the table to feed it to you. So it was fair to say you were well and truly flustered and your plan had gone out the window. 

As you were walking back to the car Hwasagrabbed your hand and a lady commented on how cute the two of you were. Hwasa smiled "my girlfriend is adorable isn't she" and carried on walking as if it was nothing. When you got in the car you turned to her "I...has something happened I don't know about?". Hwasa shot you an innocent look "no, why? Is something wrong?". "No just you've been different tonight". Hwasa tilted her head to one side "didn't you like it?". You blushed "I...I just want to know why you were acting like that, was it for fun or were you being serious". Hwasa smiled "of course it wasn't for fun dummy! I like you and Moonbyul might've let slip that tonight was the night you were finally going to ask me out!". You gasped "she didn't! I made her promise to keep it a secret". "Yeah but you picked the biggest blabbermouth so it's your fault really" Hwasa said laughing. "I can't believe you knew, so all night you were just testing my nerve huh?". Hwasa nodded "At first I just wanted to see if it was true, if you really did like me but after you blushed more than the embarrassed emoji I figured it was true and was just trying to encourage you". "You nearly killed me is what you did!" you cried and Hwasa chuckled "you still haven't asked me". "Yeah well maybe I won't after your games" you teased and Hwasa blinked back at you "you will especially after this" and she kissed you. In fairness Hwasa could do absolutely anything and you'd be near fainting but that kiss was amazing and when Hwasa pulled away you were seeing stars. Hwasa realised you were a little lost for words and stroked your cheek "y/n, will you go out with me?". That jolted you back into existence "but I thought you wanted me to ask?". "I did but you seemed like you needed recovery so I thought I'd ask, so what's the answer? Don't leave me hanging". You said yes of course.

________

I am very excited to post my first LGBTQIA+ story and of course it’s Mamamoo! 

They were the group that got into kpop and I can never decide who I fancy most because all the girls are sooo amazing! 

If you’d like any imagines with female readers x female idols please let me know! 

[sopebubbles]

Chapter Fourteen

Summary: How many men will it take to save you? To be honest, you’ve gotten pretty used to saving yourself. Even though you’re far from a delicate thing, Los Angeles is a dangerous place you can’t seem to escape no matter how hard you try. The top 7 members of Bangtan should never have crossed your path, but they soon find they’d do just about anything to help you escape your past and make it safe for you to stay. But will you?

Genre: mafia au, poly ot7, angst, some smut, honestly a lot more fluff than i expected, POC reader/oc

Warnings: lots of angst here folks. internal slutshaming and body dysmorphia, references to past forced drug use...on a lighter note, Namjoon shows his nasty side at the very beginning here...there's comfort in this too!

A/n from beastie🐾: Please be nice to Val here! She's working very hard on trying to accept herself but her doubts keep bubbling up. I will say that this is the climax of her self doubt, so from here on out we'll see her start to accept herself more and have more positive relationships with the men. 💕💕💕💕💕 Also sopebubbles 🧼 wrote all the Yoongi parts so if you want to melt and cry and scream all at the same time, that was all her doing and I did the exact same thing UGH ITS SO GOOOOD.

Word count: 9.2K

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It was still early when Namjoon heard Jungkook finally go to his bedroom next door. That was curious. Normally if Jungkook fell asleep by the pool, he’d stay there all night. Then came a second set of footsteps and hushed whispers. He’d recognize your voice anywhere. So that’s what had happened. Namjoon ignored the paperwork on the ornate, oak desk in front of him and let his mind wonder. Would you guys shower together afterwards? Jungkook had his own bathroom after all. Or maybe Jungkook would opt for the bathtub instead so you could lean against his chest as his tattooed hand found your clit under the water? Would you let him kiss away the gasps escaping your mouth as he toyed with you?

Namjoon wanted to go in and check on you, but he knew it was better to let you both sleep. No matter what kind of work out the two of you had gotten up to this morning, you probably needed it. 

Namjoon hissed at his own thoughts, realizing how hard he was under his satin pajama pants. Reaching into his pants, he wished he could watch Jungkook toy with you. He wondered absently which parts of your body were the most sensitive. Maybe there was a special part of your neck that made you wet and begged to be fucked. Namjoon wondered if Jungkook was able to find those places as he began to rub the precum over the tip of his penis with his thumb. He knew how thick Jungkook’s cock was, what it was like to be held down by him. However strong Jungkook looked, in reality he was stronger. He wondered if you got to experience what it was like to be caged in Jungkook’s arms and whining for more. Maybe one day you’d tell Namjoon all about how good Jungkook feels in your pussy between soft licks to the head of his cock. Maybe he’d get to feel you moan around his cock in your throat as Jungkook took you from behind.

Namjoon was moaning now as he stroked himself slowly. Or maybe you had been bossy? Jungkook has always been so eager to please. You could have instructed him to hold still as you used his cock for your own pleasure. Not letting him touch you as you took what you wanted and left scratch marks on his chest. Would Jungkook be the one helpless to how good your pussy feels? Would he cry trying not to come before you did? Would he tell you over and over how good you feel clenching around him? Maybe Namjoon could hold Jungkook while you fucked him. Namjoon knew how sensitive Jungkook’s nipples were. Did you find that out too? Maybe Namjoon could pinch and twist his nipples, nibbling Jungkook’s ears from behind as you had your way with him? Both you and Namjoon could tell Jungkook that he was a good boy. Namjoon knew that being called a good boy made Jungkook reach orgasm impossibly fast. What if he came too early? Getting you wet with his seed before you had even come? Would you let Namjoon finish the job? Would you call Namjoon Daddy as he pushed Jungkook’s seed back inside you with his fingers to keep you messy for him? Would you let Namjoon come inside too? Spasming around his cock and calling out for him as remnants of both him and Jungkook were kept inside you? Would you let Namjoon’s cock go soft inside you, letting you fall asleep on Daddy’s chest?

“Fuuuck,” Namjoon cursed as his orgasm hit him without warning. He slumped in his chair, feeling exhausted before realizing that he got cum all over his pajamas. “Shit.”

He changed his clothes quickly, feeling gross about his fantasies as he did so. Jungkook accepted Namjoon the way he was, but he wasn’t sure if you ever would. Somehow it seemed wrong to even think of you in such a way without your permission. And in hindsight, Namjoon didn’t even know if you and Jungkook had even slept together. Maybe you were training and needed something from his room. Namjoon couldn’t remember ever wanting someone so physically before. At least since he and Jungkook had gotten together.

He knew he wasn’t the only one in Bangtan that was falling for you. He had seen the way his most trusted men desired you. Especially Yoongi, who looked at you with a special kind of softness he had never seen from his hyung before. 

He pulled away from his depraved thoughts and started to focus on the events of last night, worrying instead for his friend who had been shot. It was unusual for Hoseok to make mistakes during a mission like this. There had to have been something that made him act reckless. Or maybe the cops had been aware he was there? No. That was near impossible. Nobody Namjoon had ever met matched Hoseok’s level of stealth. There was no way they should have seen him coming.

“I want to hold him, Joon,” Seokjin blinked up at his leader, eyes glistening. “I want to hold him so bad, but he looks so small and fragile and…”

When Namjoon entered Yoongi’s clinic, Seokjin was already there, holding Hoseok’s hand softly and trying to keep from falling asleep. The steady beeping of monitors made the clinic seem like a real hospital room. Hoseok looked to be a shadow of himself as he lay on the bed, pale and unmoving. Seokjin startled when he heard Namjoon approach.

“How long have you been awake?” Namjoon asked, placing a comforting hand on his hyung’s shoulder.

“I don’t know,” Seokjin sighed. “Yoongi tried to get me to sleep in a guest room, but I kept imagining…” Seokjin didn’t finish the sentence. Namjoon didn’t have to see the older man’s face to know he was barely keeping himself together. Namjoon squeezed his shoulder in understanding.

“You better lay down and rest,” Seokjin admonished, pulling himself off of Namjoon and wiping his eyes.

Namjoon got to his knees, allowing Seokjin to drape over his shoulders as he pulled the older into a hug. Moments like this were rare with Seokjin, who despite his carefree demeanor was always calculated in how he presented himself. There were many times when Seokjin had been the only person that Namjoon had felt like he could open up to, so he was glad to return the favor as he held his hyung.

“You guys are acting like we’re called Bangtan for nothing,” Hoseok grumbled, hoarse and wincing as he tried to sit himself up in the bed. The monitors started beeping a little faster. 

“The pain meds are wearing off,” Yoongi advised, going into his cabinet for more morphine. “You broke two ribs, you know.”

“I rest easier when you’re holding my hand,” Hoseok admitted, reaching out for Seokjin who happily obliged. Hoseok settled back down on the bed with a content hum, Seokjin placing a kiss on the top of his head.

“Is everything okay?” There was no hiding the grogginess of Yoongi’s voice as he stepped in.  He also had trouble sleeping last night, thoughts a confusing swirl of desire and fear. He had just exhausted himself to the point of falling asleep when he heard the monitoring system in his room spike and he rushed to his clinic.

“I’m okay, hyung,” Hoseok’s voice was still hoarse, but he smiled nonetheless. “Breathing hurts more than I remember though.”

“Is that all?” Hoseok joked, making Seokjin laugh next to him. 

“Actually,” Namjoon started. “Before you give that to him, Yoongi, I was wondering if Hoseok could tell us what happened yesterday.”

Hoseok squeezed Seokjin’s hand and closed his eyes, thinking back to the night before. 

“I just lost my footing on the catwalk, hyung, that’s all. I was waiting for them to finish the job and then…” Hoseok made a whistling noise to indicate his falling.

“Is there something wrong with the catwalk? Do we need to have it fixed? I don’t want other people getting hurt.”

“I’m sure it’s fine, I was just clumsy.”

Yoongi cleared his throat behind them, “I do think it’s best that my patient isn’t in any discomfort right now.”

“It’s just that you’re normally not that clumsy and everyone has direct orders not to rush an attack unless one of us is threatened, so I just want to make sure…”

“Namjoon,” it was Seokjin who spoke, a harshness in his eyes that he leveled at his leader. “Let it go.”

Something wasn’t sitting right with Namjoon, but he took Seokjin’s advice. His priority was his men’s wellbeing and he definitely didn’t want Hoseok to be in any pain, “I’m sorry,” Namjoon sighed, shaking his head. “You’re right, it’s not important and I’m out of line. I hope you feel better, Hobi.”

Hoseok hummed a quiet appreciation, eyes still closed, his energy fading again as his body worked hard to heal him. 

By midmorning, Namjoon decided he should go to Jungkook’s room. There was no sign of either of you in the house, and Namjoon knew that if he let the man sleep too late, he'd be grumpy. He wasn't entirely surprised to see that Jungkook was already awake. It was a little more shocking to see you dozing on Jungkook's chest. He had heard about your new-found cuddliness, but seeing it with his own eyes was something else. Jungkook raised a finger to his lips after he locked eyes with his lover, while his other hand rested gently against his shoulder.

As softly as possible, Namjoon padded to the end of Jungkook's bed and sat carefully. His hand rested only inches from where he could see the lump of your foot. You were so close but so far away and he ached to be able to lay a gentle and reassuring hand on your body, even over the covers. Even such a small amount of intimacy seemed impossible, though you'd shared more with so many of his men. Jin might be the only other man to not have touched you since he met you. But he could wait until you were ready and gave him your permission. 

"How is she?" Namjoon asked, hardly more than mouthing the words. Jungkook merely gave him a soft, satisfied smile back. One Namjoon was very familiar with. 

"Did you…?" Namjoon wondered, trying to tone down the lasciviousness of his question out of respect for you, but Jungkook knew it was there, under the surface, speaking from the desirous light in his eyes. Jungkook would know just how much his lover wanted you even if he hadn't ever said anything, and he had. Before he could make any kind of answer, you began to stir, nudging your nose against his chest as you muttered his name. 

"Good morning again, beautiful," Jungkook grins at you, and you return a hazy smile. 

"Did I drool on you?" You asked, remembering the last time you woke up on someone's chest, but still too sleepy to feel embarrassed, yet.

"I don't know, but Joon has a spit kink, so you should let him check."

None of Jungkook's words made sense to you. Why would he bring up Namjoon? You rubbed your eyes and yawned, and as you turned slightly away from Jungkook, stretching your legs out, your foot met a solid object. Your eyes flew open as you sat up in the huge bed. Your breath got caught in your throat when you saw the leader perched at the foot of the bed, watching you in perfect calm. You clutched the sheets to your chest, but you were anything but naked. You and Jungkook had both changed into clean shirts and sweatpants before you'd snuggled up together. 

"What are you doing here?" You sputtered. 

Namjoon instantly regretted startling you. He should have waited for you to be ready, or not been so close, or looked more disinterested. But it was too late. 

"It's okay, Val. I'm sorry I surprised you. I just came to check on Jungkook and see how you two were doing."

You relaxed slightly, but your confusion grew. "Jungkook's okay, isn't he?" You looked him over. You hadn't noticed if he'd gotten any wounds yesterday that went unaddressed. You had seen his whole naked body just hours ago, and he was the very picture of health. "Is there something to be worried about?"

Jungkook smirked and brushed a bit of hair over your shoulder, allowing his fingers to give just a little bit of pressure, so you could feel him touch you and know he wanted to. "I'm perfectly fine, Val. Joonie just knows I don't usually sleep so late, so he came to make sure everything is alright. Didn't you?" 

"Right." The man nodded.

"You guys sure do know a lot about each other's habits." You chuckled awkwardly.

The men shared a look. The elder opened and closed his mouth several times before he could decide what to say.

"Val, do you know Kookie and I are lovers?"

Your thoughts came to a screeching halt before picking up again in a rush. Were all the men in Bangtan in these types of relationships? With each other? What did it mean that first Taehyung and now Jungkook had slept with you. To be honest, your grasp of human sexuality was limited and your experience of relationships even moreso. But none of that really mattered to you at the moment except—Was Namjoon mad at you now?

You were moving off the bed before you could complete that thought, much less reason your way through it. If you had slept with Namjoon's lover and Namjoon was mad at you now, you could imagine what would come next, and it wasn't going to be cruel. You dashed toward the door of Jungkook’s room, swung it open and crossed into your own room, slamming the door behind you in a flash.  

The boys looked at each other with concern, but reacted slowly, each thinking through their own ways of how to reach and reassure you. 

 Namjoon reached your door first, Jungkook a step or two behind him, but he hesitated. Going into Jungkook's room, where he had an open invitation was one thing. Knowing now how much the news of their relationship had scared you, he felt an overwhelming sense of guilt at seeing you so vulnerable and at peace, intimately holding his lover in the way he craved being held by both of you. Feeling like he had already crossed a boundary, he couldn’t justify going into your room without your permission. It conflicted with every principle he stood for.

Jungkook, however, couldn't bear watching Namjoon torture himself. He knew Namjoon cared a lot about privacy and personal space and boundaries. But Jungkook had an uncommon sense of which boundaries needed to be pushed and when. And right now he knew you were under some kind of misapprehension that could only be corrected if he could see you and talk to you. He knocked on the door and called out to you. 

"Val, everything is okay. I'm going to come in so I can show you that everything is fine," he warned before he gripped the handle and found it was unlocked. 

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" You wept as you crouched into a corner between the bed frame and the night stand. "I didn't know!"

Jungkook gave a worried look to Namjoon, who looked completely gutted by your reaction. Seeing you making yourself small and covering your face as if to protect yourself broke his heart and crushed his hopes. Had he not done enough to show you he would never, ever hurt you?

Jungkook got low as he came toward you, his hands open and visible, but relaxed. He crouched in front of your trembling figure before he spoke. "Val, no one is going to hurt you. No one is upset." A beat passed, but you didn't relax. "Can we talk? We'll explain, and you'll see that everything is okay."

You looked anxiously at Jungkook and then up at Namjoon, but not to his face. You couldn't. You looked back at your knees and remained tense. The man closest to you frowned and turned back to the one still in the door. Jungkook motioned for him to get down. It was impossible for Namjoon not to look big, but looming over you wasn't going to help matters. He squatted and moved a few feet into the room before sitting on the ground, still quite a distance away from you and Jungkook.

"I didn't know he was yours," you muttered with a glance in his general direction. 

Jungkook chuckles lightly. "That's not your fault. We're good at being discreet, even at home. And just because I'm his and he's mine, doesn't mean anyone is mad. You did nothing wrong. No one is going to punish you or hurt you."

"I won't allow it, even for myself. I'll never hurt you, Val. I swear it." Namjoon's voice was steady and earnest. 

You released a small amount of your tension, so that you weren't holding yourself quite so tightly, and leaned back against the side of your bed. You studied your knees for a moment as you tried to breathe. It was clear they wanted to talk, which was not something you had ever been good at, so you tried to sort through your thoughts. Luckily, neither of the men rushed you through the uncomfortable silence, allowing your initial fear to subside. Finally, your gaze slid up to Jungkook's face.

"Why did you fuck me? I didn't force you!" You winced at your accusatory tone. You couldn't blame him, not when this was your mess. "Did I?" You questioned more doubtfully, quietly. 

Jungkook's face fell and he had to restrain himself from reaching out to touch you, any part of you. "No, Val, you didn't. I did it because you wanted me to and I wanted to. And I'd do it again, any time you wanted to. It was fun and amazing and it felt like a privilege."

Tears blurred your vision and slipped down your cheeks when you turned your eyes to look at Namjoon. "I don't understand." It was nothing more than a whimper.

"Val, why don't you sit on the bed and get comfortable so we can answer your questions?" Namjoon's voice was gentle, which only served to confuse you further. 

But your knees were beginning to ache, so you crawled up to sit in the very middle of the king size mattress that had always felt much too big and empty for you alone. You took one of the pillows and hugged it to your chest. You made sure to sit away from the headboard so you would have room to run if you needed it, but they were still between you and the door anyway. Once you were settled, curled around your pillow, the men shared a strained look and both rose to their feet. Namjoon could tell just by looking at you and the distant gaze in your eyes getting further away that he was going to have to strike a very fine balance between letting you sort through your thoughts and letting you get lost in them.

"Can we sit, Val?" 

Your head jerked up at his question and you met Namjoon's eyes for the first time. "It's your house. Your bed. You can sit wherever you want."

"This room is yours. And wherever you are, your personal space is yours. I will always need your permission to enter it, even if we someday know each other well enough that I don't need to ask, you can always take that permission away and ask me to leave. Do you understand?"

You closed your eyes tight, forcing residual tears from the waterline, so you buried your face in the pillow, muttering to yourself, "tonta, idiota que no entienda nada." But you never felt the weight on the bed shift, so you grunted out loudly, "sit!"

Jungkook sat cross-legged like you, close enough for his knee to touch you, needing a tiny bit of contact that could seem accidental, even if Namjoon might chastise him for his carelessness. But you didn't react and neither did the leader. Namjoon placed himself closer to the edge of the bed, but far enough inside that his feet hung off it, floating in mid air. When he reclined himself, laying on his side and his head propped on his hand, he was below you. This way he was able to see your face even if you wouldn't raise your head. 

"Can you tell us what's confusing you, so we can help?" Namjoon asked gently. For a moment you didn't move or speak, too overwhelmed by the sheer number of things you didn't understand. "It doesn't matter what it is. Ask us anything and we will give you an answer if we can. Whatever it is, you don't need to be ashamed."

Your stomach twisted at the word. You felt you had more than enough to be ashamed about, and verbalizing it to them seemed like too much. But you tried to sort through the hundreds of questions buzzing like bees inside your head.

"You never act like how you should," you finally uttered. That was the root of the problem with him, or at least one of them. You expected worse of him that he gave you, and it confused you every time. 

"How should I act?"

You sighed. "Everything here is yours. Everything in this house belongs to you. Everyone here is under your control. But you ask permission. You never get mad. You don't…" there was a list of actions you knew he could take at any given moment, but they were so foreign from him that you couldn't even speak them. "You speak and act gently and I get confused."

Namjoon felt another painful twinge upon the fault line you had been tearing in his heart for weeks. "No one belongs to me, Val. Not Jungkook and certainly not you. I love Jungkook but he is free to do anything he likes, even you, or anyone else. If he wants to leave, it would break my heart, but he can and there isn't a person on earth who I would let stop him. You expect me to control everything here, just because I can, but that isn't the man I am or ever want to be. I know," Namjoon paused to take a deeper breath, choosing his words carefully. "I know what kind of men you're used to. That's the kind of man my father was. He needed to control the people around him. He wanted to be feared and obeyed. He thought it made him powerful. But I think real power only comes from controlling yourself, not others. So you can always be in control of yourself here." 

Your head shook. He was confusing you again. "But you asked first. Can't you just do what you want?"

"Those aren't the same thing. My control ends where yours begins. I can hold myself back from doing anything I want for your sake. Because if I did whatever I wanted, we would be having this conversation with you in my lap."

At that you let out a strangled squeak. Jungkook laughed, a broad smile stretching his lips as he looked between you and Namjoon. "I think maybe she likes the sound of that, hyung."

Namjoon smiled back at him. "Me, too, but that's probably a bit much for today. You can hold onto Jungkook though, if you'd like."

You looked cautiously at Jungkook. He turned his palm up on his knee in case you would like to take his hand. But you didn't. You tugged the pillow tighter to your chest and looked at the bed spread in front of you. Jungkook tried not to feel hurt by the rejection. 

"There's something else I'm confused about." Neither man said anything but waited patiently for you to continue. "You two have sex together, and Jimin and Tae have sex, but you and Tae both had sex with me. Is it…is it because I'm kind of…"

"Manly?" Jungkook's voice was thick with amusement and you whined. He barked a laugh and knocked his body into yours, his arm going around your waist. "No, Val! It's 'cause you're hot!"

"But you like men!"

"And women! And sex in general. I'm bisexual, if you wanna put a label on it, and so are Namjoon and Taehyung."

"So you don't like me because I look like a man?" You still couldn't look at him. 

"You look very much like a woman to me. Where would you get an idea like that?" 

Painful memories and words from Joaquin repeated in your head from your boxing days. Years of steroids made your shoulders square and your muscles defined. Your hair grew in unsightly places more easily than you imagined most women did. Your voice had never quite lost the roughness it gained while you were forced to take injections. Your breasts were small, your clit was large…there was so much about you that seemed out of place with being a woman. Now that you were more in control of your image, you worked hard at trying to maintain a soft, feminine figure but some days it felt like nothing you ever did was enough to hide what was once your reality. And these men who liked other men…did they only like you because they thought you looked like a man too? 

Namjoon could see the distraction in your eyes even if he didn't know the direction of your thoughts. He wouldn't push you to tell him where you got that idea. Not today. But he wanted to bring you back and not let you get lost. He nudged Jungkook with his large foot and when the boy looked up at him with his soft doe eyes, he nodded in your direction. 

Jungkook cleared his throat. "Well, whatever you think, I'm attracted to you. I have been since I first saw you, and Namjoon has always known it. He doesn't mind at all."

"Why not?" You interjected, looking at Namjoon. 

"Because the way I love Kookie is by respecting his choices and his right to do as he pleases."

"But don't you feel jealous or possessive? Aren't you mad at all that we had sex?"

Namjoon shook his head. "Love doesn't mean that I own him. And it doesn't mean that he can only desire me or that I can satisfy his needs. And I –" he paused a moment to choose his words, to decide if it was right to say them. "If I'm jealous of anything, it's that he got to sleep with you. But I'm not upset."

"Why would you be jealous of that?"

Your ignorance was endearing, even if it bordered on the unbelievable. "Because he wants to fuck you, too, beautiful," Jungkook whispered to you while his eyes watched Namjoon close enough to see the shiver that ran through the man at the mention of you and him together. 

Your head snapped to face him. "You do?"

Namjoon swallowed, recalling his fantasy from earlier. He couldn't seem to stop thinking of ways he wanted to fuck you. "I'd be lying if I said I haven't thought about it." His voice remained casual, as if it wasn't shocking news to you, as if he wasn't beginning to feel hot. "I'd like to have sex with both of you, together."

"Now?" You asked, louder than you meant. 

Namjoon couldn't help an amused and endeared smile. 

"No, honey, not now. But some time, if you feel like you want that, I would be very into that. I think I could make you feel good. I want to watch you and Jungkook make each other feel good. But only if you want it too."

Your head felt a little hazy at the thought of being with the two men already on your bed, wrapped up in sweaty, mindless passion. But they weren't the only ones in your thoughts. There was still Tae, and Yoongi, who you hadn't done more than kiss with but still your body ached for him. "But what about the…"

"The what, baby?" The pet name slipped thoughtlessly from his lips, Namjoon’s mind too filled with affection for you and determined for you to know it, so he wouldn't correct himself. 

"The others," you finished quietly, and lowered your face in shame. 

Formly speaking, Namjoon knew you had a point. It wasn’t an explicit discussion his men had gone over yet. They would certainly need to, just in case anyone was harboring possessive feelings. But truth be told, even if one of them felt entitled to you over the others, he wouldn’t allow it. He would only allow what you wanted, and if you wanted them all, then that’s what you should have. He thought of Taehyung and his reckless bravado when he first started dating you. Maybe he would feel jealous, but somewhere in Namjoon’s heart he could tell his adopted brother was changing.The way he no longer demanded to be part of your space was a sign of his changing attitude and if any residual entitlement lingered, Namjoon would make it clear to Taehyung that any relationship that happened with you had to be your choice. He certainly didn’t mind the idea of you being with Jungkook or Yoongi or Hoseok or any of the other men as long as you were happy. As long as they respected you and you felt safe. Namjoon felt sure that the men he trusted most in the world would also feel this way.

“We’ll talk to them,” the leader assured you. “But please understand that our feelings are authentic. It’s not my place to confess for other people, but when you hear how special you are to us, please don’t second guess our feelings. That hurts way more than thinking about you and Jungkook together ever could.” Namjoon wanted to scoot closer to you and lay his head on your lap. If only you could see how desperately he was at your mercy.

“I’ll…try,” you stammered, lifting your head off your pillow so you could face Namjoon. His eyes were kind and pleading and despite yourself you wanted to believe that everything he was telling you was true. It was just… “It’s hard,” you choked back a sob. “I don’t have anything to offer you.”

Namjoon sat up at this, scooting closer but still not touching you. “Caring for someone is not grounded in what you can offer them,” he explained.

Jungkook laughed tenderly, “Yeah, it’s not like we’re hoping to get your family’s plumpest pig in exchange for your hand in marriage.”

You knocked your shoulder into Jungkook’s, groaning at his comment, “You know what I mean.”

“Not really,” Jungkook mused. “We’re happy to have you here and that’s enough. What could you possibly offer us that’s better than that?”

“I’m happy here too,” you admitted. You were scared to death to say these words out loud, but there it was. A truth you couldn’t escape. You were happy living at the Bangtan house and it made everything you wanted after that feel greedy and vile. Their kindness alone bordered on too much, but you didn’t know how to explain this to the two men on your bed.

“Val,” Namjoon said, refocusing your attention. “There is no match you have to fight, or mission you have to complete or role you must take on to prove you’re worthy of being here. You are enough.”

Namjoon was so close and you desperately wanted to be held by him, no longer wanting to lose yourself in your thoughts or needing space. If his words were true, why wasn’t he holding you tight so you felt safe in his arms?

With a giggle you let yourself melt into the men who, even for just a moment, let you believe you could maybe be enough.

Jungkook sensed your thoughts, leaning over to whisper in your ear, “You have to ask.”

“Namjoon,” You pleaded. “Can you hold me please?”

“Of course, baby.” And just like that you were in his lap, his arms wrapped around you and chin resting gently on the top of your head. It thrilled the large man to feel how tiny you were in his arms, like he could protect you from anything. You sighed happily, feeling warmth spread through your body as Namjoon nuzzled into your hair. Jungkook smiled fondly at the sight, scooting closer to rest his head on Namjoon’s shoulder.

Your doubts began to fade away as you felt your breath sync up with Namjoon’s. A part of you knew they’d be back, but if your happiness was fleeting then you would have to soak up every moment for everything it offered. You heard Jungkook hum happily above you, and you glanced up to see Namjoon kissing him softly. You couldn’t help the whine that escaped you, making the men break apart and turn their attention to you. Their beauty was overwhelming, making your cheeks heat as you took them in upclose. Jungkook, already so good at reading what you wanted, leaned down to place a gentle kiss on your lips, so much more chaste than the ones you had shared earlier but it left you wanting more.

“Your turn, hyung,” Jungkook instructed, pulling away to leave room for Namjoon. Your heart was beating heavily in your chest as Namjoon lifted your chin to face him, reminding you again of how his size compared to yours. He did all but close the distance, breath ghosting over your lips for an extra moment before you could no longer take it and pressed your lips to his. You twisted in his lap, wanting to feel more of him, but he pulled away.

“Baby, I’m thrilled you want this, too,” Namjoon confessed. “But I want to take my time with you and right now, feeling you lay against me is enough.” As if they sensed you pouting, they snuggled into each side of your neck making you squeal and squirm. “Let us savor this,” Namjoon mouthed against your neck. 

Even though Namjoon and Jungkook had been reassuring about your place in the household, you had asked to spend some time alone today to try to piece some of your thoughts together. It was easy to feel comforted when they were pressed against you and quieting your insecurities, but you also needed to figure out what all this meant for you too. For that reason, you told the men not to count you in for dinner that evening. 

Jungkook took his seat at the dinner table uneasily as Jimin and Taehyung finished setting the table. Tae picked up one of the dining chairs and moved it against the wall, leaving a space at the table just as Jin brought Hobi to the table in a wheelchair. 

"Did you tell Val that dinner is ready?" Yoongi asked as everyone else settled into their chairs, yet the seat between him and Hoseok remained vacant.

Jungkook cleared his throat nervously and glanced at Namjoon, who gave him a soft smile and an almost imperceptible nod of encouragement. 

"Val isn't joining us tonight. I told her dinner was ready," he added as Yoongi looked like he was going to jump in. "But she asked for some time alone, and as you know, what Val wants, Val gets."

Jungkook glanced at the leader, whose authority backed him up. "As long as she doesn't hurt herself," Namjoon added with an understanding look at Yoongi.

The doctor's hands clenched into fists under the table, but he could only be angry and frustrated with himself. He should have gone to you already and tried to fix things from last night. To tell you that everything was okay, and he was sorry, and he wouldn't kiss you again if that's what you wanted. But he should also tell you that he would like to do it again, that he loves you. He should go and tell you everything that was in his heart. But you wanted to be alone and it was all his—

"I want to be upfront with you guys." Jungkook's voice was very close to trembling as he broke through Yoongi's spinning thoughts. The youngest man's eyes looked from Yoongi across the table and then to Taehyung at his side, then down to his plate. "Val and I had sex. This morning. It was spontaneous, but it was what she asked for and obviously what I wanted. Joon and I talked to her about how our relationship works, and how we feel about her. We think—we hope—she understood. She just needs a little time to…take it all in."

Namjoon squeezed his lover's hand under the table and gave Jungkook the courage to look up at his hyungs. Around the table, Jimin and Hoseok sat opposite each other with twin looks of exhilarated shock, their mouths hanging wide open as they looked at their maknae. Jin wore an amused smile, trying to keep in a chuckle.

When he looked to his right, Jungkook expected to see anger, or a look of betrayal, but Taehyung was calm. Not like an angry, calm before the storm, ready to explode calm, but a resigned one. Taehyung had understood weeks ago that all of them would care for you. Maybe he'd even feared that months ago and had kept you away. The way things stood now, he didn't feel any claim to you, at least not one he deserved. And if it was really what you wanted, like Jungkook said, what else could there be to the matter?

At once everyone's eyes shifted over to Yoongi. The silence was fraught and seemed to have lasted for minutes, even though it had only been seconds. Yoongi's expression was opaque. Although Yoongi was never considered an expressive man by any of them, there wasn't a single man at the table who doubted that he was entirely in love with you. They expected to see jealousy, but Yoongi only appeared thoughtful. 

Hundreds of questions yelled inside Yoongi's brain at once, he could hear only a few of them. Had you truly wanted Jungkook? Did he treat you well? Did you enjoy yourself? Are you okay? Did you need anything? He even had a few questions for Jungkook. Did you take care of her? Is she as incredible as I imagine? What's it like to have her in your arms? 

A question asked itself but he pushed it away. What does this mean for us?

He settled for, "did you use protection?"

Jungkook smiled in spite of himself and turned a light shade of pink as he looked at his plate. "Of course, Yoongi hyung."

"And she's okay?"

"Yeah, a little in her head, but she seemed good."

"Good. Food's getting cold." Yoongi stood to ladle soup into Namjoon's bowl. The others quickly began to remark on the dishes in front of them and handed their bowls to the man, anxious to make noise before the tension could return.

As night fell, your thoughts took a turn for the worst and there was no hope of sleeping. Again. How could you sleep at night when you'd behaved so badly in the previous 24 hours? Even after Namjoon's explanation of poly relationships, even though the boss himself had been pleased that you'd slept with his boyfriend, even if Jungkook treated you more affectionately than any other human ever had done, you were certain you must still be an intolerable slut. The kind of love and trust and openness that Namjoon had described to you sounded, frankly, lovely. And even putting your transgression the previous night with Yoongi aside—you knew, or at least you were pretty sure, that Yoongi would be forgiving about your behavior, because he was much too good a person to hold it against you. Even without that, you weren't a lovely enough person to participate in that kind of love. You were something different from these men. You had been incredibly wary of them initially—you would never admit to being frightened—assuming that they were the kind of men you had known in this life before. But each day you spent with Bangtan only proved they weren't your sort at all. They were something different entirely. And accepting as they might be, you did not belong. You sullied them with your presence. Every moment you remained brought more and more disgrace upon them. No matter what Namjoon or Jungkook would try to make you believe, the reality was you were not enough.

You were sliding out from between the expensive sheets of your borrowed bed before you even completed the thought. Your duffle bag sat at the bottom of the mostly empty closet between the bedroom and bathroom, and you quickly stuffed it full of everything you owned. The same way it had been when you entered this house. It only took you a few minutes to remove your clothes from the drawers and hangers. You shoved in the dirty clothes from the hamper, too. Jungkook, you noticed, did laundry frequently and had taken your items without asking on a few occasions—not that you minded. He hadn't had time to get to it today. 

You had heard Jungkook's door close half an hour ago while you tossed and turned. You had wanted, briefly, to go back into his room and ask to sleep with him again, but you couldn't. Was that where your thoughts had begun to spiral down? The desire crept over your again as you stood with your bag hanging over your shoulder. You stared at the door knob. It seemed to be waiting for you to reach out and turn it. But you couldn't. 

The house was quiet and you could hear Jin's snores at the other end of the hallway. Something within you ached for the fact that you wouldn't get to know that man any better. He was still a mystery to you and so he would remain. Perhaps he would simply be relieved that you were out of their way and out of their lives when you were gone. Perhaps Jimin would feel the same way, in spite of the friendship that has recently begun to blossom between you two. You'd even miss him, you thought as you stood between the door to the basement and the one to Yoongi's clinic. 

You just wanted to check on Hoseok, you told yourself. You hadn't been to visit him all day because you were avoiding Yoongi, but you wanted to assure yourself he was alive and on the mend before you left the mansion. Hoseok laid in the hospital bed in the corner of the room just as still and peaceful looking as he had last night, when you kissed Yoongi. Something tempted you to touch him, and you couldn't resist the way your finger extended to trace the edge of his hand.

Yoongi's eyes opened the moment your foot stepped down the first stair. Since you'd moved into the house, he had become keenly attuned to your steps. They were so different from the others, lighter even when you weren't trying. Maybe that's why they were so easy to pick up, why he always knew when you were moving about the house and where you were going. 

Perhaps it was just that he'd been wondering when you would make a run for it since the day you'd come and told them who you really were. Running was part of who you were, wasn't it? He didn't need to be attuned to you to anticipate such an action. The possibility had been on his mind since the moment you'd rushed out after he kissed you. Whatever Jungkook and Namjoon said, he'd been wondering since he heard the news if this would overwhelm you. He hated himself for pushing you so close to the edge before you were ready. The others would probably forgive him, but would he forgive himself? 

No.

He was already getting out of bed when he heard the door to his clinic open. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe you were coming to see him. Maybe you needed him. 

Maybe you were just coming to say goodbye.

"I'm sorry, Hoseok. You wouldn't have been hurt if not for me. I hope you won't be hurt again," Yoongi heard you whisper faintly as you ran your finger gently over the back of Hoseok's hand. "I'll miss you."

Yoongi hung back in the shadow of his open bedroom door—left ajar in case his patient needed him in the night—and watched you for a moment. He felt as though maybe he wasn't quite awake, as if a new dream came to him. He could see himself getting in a car with you and stealing away into the night. The tired trope of running off to Mexico wouldn't do. Your enemy had too many connections there, so Yoongi would drive you north to Canada. From there, the two of you could go anywhere. He would take you everywhere you had ever wanted to go and places you hadn't dreamed of, too. And he would keep you safe and healthy. He would kiss you like he had last night and not feel an ounce of guilt because both of you would be happy.

But before him, in his clinic, you were turning away, so Yoongi couldn't stay in the shadows. 

"Will you miss me, too?" he found himself asking as he stepped into the room. Your hand was already on the doorknob but you turned back slowly to look at him.

"I might miss you most," you answered softly, and his heart clenched.

"You don't have to go." He walked forward to close the distance between you. "If you're leaving because of me, because I kissed you last night, you don't have to. I'll behave. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable."

You let out a small pained sound. "Oppa, you didn't make me uncomfortable. I'm the one who was wrong. I have to leave because I'm wrong."

"You aren't. You couldn't be." There was almost a whine to his voice, but he couldn't be bothered to feel embarrassed. 

"Yoongi." Your head bowed and your eyes fell to the floor as you said his name. Were they tears you were trying to hide from him? "You should be mad at me."

"Why should I be?" He asked, unthinkingly lifting your chin with his hand so he could see your watery eyes. 

"I did something," you whispered, and you were barely holding back your tears. 

Yoongi looked at you evenly, determined to be steady for both of you. "Do you mean having sex with Jungkook?"

Your eyes flickered to his as your breath hitched in your throat. "You know."

"We all know. You couldn't think Jungkook was going to keep that to himself." He forced his voice to stay light.

"I'm so sorry, Yoongi."

"For what? Did you want to have sex with Jungkook?" He wondered, tone free on any kind of inflection that might indicate judgement.

A small whine came from your throat before you could speak. "I did," you admitted, heart heavy with shame. "I really did. But I really wanted to kiss you, too. I want to do it again. And that's just wrong, isn't it? You at least must want me to go, right?" 

Were you thinking of Taehyung as your eyes drifted away along with your thoughts of the others? He'd taken it surprisingly well, Yoongi thought. No anger or jealousy from the younger man, merely resignation, as if he expected everyone else to want you. Yoongi brought your thoughts back to him with a hand to your cheek. 

"Is that what you think? Is that what Namjoon told you?" 

You shook your head. Not in negation, but as if to clear it, recalling that Namjoon was yet another man you wanted in this house, further proof of how disgusting you were and how you couldn’t accept this. Then your eyes set hard, a look of determination Yoongi had come to recognize settling in your irises. "Namjoon says a lot of things. Maybe they're true for him. But that doesn't mean they are for me."

Yoongi nodded. "Namjoon's ways aren't right for everyone, it's true. But do you think it's because you can't love like that? Or because you don't deserve love like that?"

You scoffed, pulling yourself away from him. He almost had you, almost pulled you in. But when would you ever make it that easy? "Don't ask me about love! Do you think I know anything about love? What it is or how to deserve it? Because I don't! Could you love me like that?"

The question caught him off guard, but only because of the earnestness with which you asked it. Even if you didn't realize you were looking for an answer, you needed it. "Yes, I could," he replied honestly. 

"How?" 

"Because I would be honored if you let me show you any kind of love. Because I want to show you the best, most tender kind of love, the kind I've never wanted to give to anyone before. I could love you and let everyone else love you too because you do deserve it. I wouldn't ever need to be jealous because there would be no room for anything but happiness if I could see you let yourself be loved by anyone."

A moment passed while his words hung in the air between your heavy breaths. 

"Don't go, Val. I know I have no right to ask. Your freedom is yours to take, and if you want I'll drive you out of LA and as far as you want to go tonight. But don't go because you feel guilty or ashamed or because you think you don't deserve every kind of love."

"What else can I do?" You asked in a watery whisper, and Yoongi reached out to take your hand, giving it a tight squeeze. 

"Stay."

Your eyes searched his in the darkness of the room, and you thought maybe he looked a little scared and a little hopeful. "Stay?" 

Yoongi nodded. 

"Can I stay with you?"

A small smile curled at the corners of his lips, and he nodded again. A heavy weight lifted off his chest as you removed the strap of your bag from your shoulder and let it drop to the ground. He led you gently by the hand back to his room. He didn't need to ask if you wanted to wear one of his shirts to sleep in. He had noticed how much you liked wearing the one he'd lent you before and hadn't given back—which you had stuffed into your bag with everything else, consciously or unconsciously taking a piece of him with you. You weren’t sure why wearing Yoongi’s clothes made you feel safe, like you had a future to look forward to, while the idea of wearing the other men’s clothes felt like a bitter reminder of a controlling past. Maybe that was okay too. Maybe you didn’t have to feel the same way about all the men in the house to know how deeply you cared for all of them. They each took up a different space in your heart and Yoongi was at the center of it. 

Yoongi let go of your hand to pull out a t-shirt and shorts from his drawers, handing them to you before making an excuse to go back into the clinic so you could change. You shook yourself out of the jeans and shirt you'd quickly dressed in. Where were you really going in the middle of the night and how were you going to get there? What were you thinking? It didn't matter. Thoughts left your head as the familiar scent of Yoongi filled in with his shirt, leaving room for nothing but a familiar sense of comfort. You opted to forgo the shorts, hoping he wouldn't mind or read anything into it that you didn't mean. As you slipped into his bed, you couldn't think of anything but sleep all the sudden. 

Yoongi took a moment to check on Hoseok's vitals, trying to keep his mind busy yet quiet. For a second he thought he saw the flash of the patient's eyes, but it was too dark for Yoongi to be sure he hadn't imagined it. Turning away, he bent to scoop up your bag and pushed it under the bed so no one would trip if they came in to visit their friend. Or maybe so they wouldn't realize what had almost happened tonight. Or maybe so it would be harder for you to find. He was too tired to parse out all the reasons. 

He came back as soon as he heard you settle in the bed, and he had to focus on calm, steady breaths as he got in beside you. He wouldn't initiate anything you didn't want this time, he told himself, even if having you in his bed like this electrified him in a way he had never known. He would simply lay there and let you come to him if you wanted, or to sleep on the other side of the bed if that was it. At least you were staying. At least for tonight. You stayed a foot away from him for a long moment and he hoped you couldn't hear the thundering of his heart. Then your hand reached out for his, and his breath stopped all together. 

"Can I-" you started but quickly stopped. 

Yoongi turned his head to face you through the darkness. "Whatever you want is what I want. You don't need to be afraid of anything with me," he assured you. 

He almost laughed hearing you swallow in the quiet room, wondering if your nervousness was the same kind as his. You shifted closer to him across the bed and lifted his arm. He got the message and raised it so he could wrap it securely around you, but not too tight, and you settled into his side. 

The feeling of relaxation that eased through your body was unexpected. You realized that for the first time in your life, you didn't actually want to run. You had felt like it was the right thing to do, still not sure you actually deserved to be there, but you desperately wanted to stay. You had finally found a place you wanted to be, and you could only hope it would last.

"Thank you for asking me to stay," you whispered, your breath fanning over his cheek as you angled your face up to him. He turned toward you again, so your lips were a hair's breadth apart. 

"Thank you for not leaving," he replied, holding himself back those last millimeters with every ounce of will in his being. He didn't need it though. When you pressed your lips to his, you couldn't imagine wanting to be anywhere else.

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[vacantgodling]

💧 rain for the weather asks babey fuck me up

💧Rain - What's the most emotional scene you've ever written?

OHOOOOO we have so many contenders because i love writing sad shit—i got so many you could probably ask me this question several times and get a different answer LMAO. but honest to god i think sword of a great hero is my most painful excerpt because it’s just… the calm before the storm. lath and ensio both know they’re gonna die. and just UGHHHH.

since it seems that in haven’t posted this excerpt on this version of my blog have it in its entirety here and cry :)

##

“This will be our final stand.” Lath touched a hand to his chest. He could feel the sluggish bleeding from under the gash in his armor that lead to the gaping wound in his upper abdomen, just underneath his ribcage. There was no one to heal him now — hadn’t had anything like that since they started this death march — at this point his nerves were beyond the point of registering pain. The others who’d joined him were long dead now: either picked off or mauled, died with a fight gnashing in their teeth, or a whimper absolving from their throat. Only two of them from the initial 33 warriors remained, and somehow Lath always knew it would come to this.

Ensio stood astride him, his regal bow broken and long forgotten. Lath had given him his second sword to wield in its stead, and the grip was slightly off, and the blade shorter than he remembered Ensio liked, but it would do. Neither of them fought with the expectation to live. In the clearing where they stood, a large, curled structure rose, towering to almost the heavens above them and was teeming with magic so strong that Lath could practically smell it. The Labyrinth. The voice of Their Lady MUINENS boomed from the heavens. As your final stand, you will drive them to their dungeon.

“Aye.” Ensio’s usual baritone was a rough wheeze. If they’d had time to rest, to heal, Lath would’ve guessed it was a punctured lung. He’d taken a claw to the sternum hard in a battle days before, and had been wheezing since. Lath could not offer him any comforting hand… Ensio wouldn’t have wanted it either. But the two men stood beside one another, waiting for their cue

“What do you suppose Cerullius is like?” Ensio garnered to ask. Though he’d assured Lath it was fine that the grip was off — better him, the regular sword wielder, have the better blade after all — he was still fidgeting with his grip, whirling it between his fingers, like the drills they ran together as boys. “Do you think it’d be as warm and comforting as a fine pair of tits?”

“Even on your deathbed, you’re a lech.” Lath’s golden eyes scanned the horizon. It seemed fitting that they would die on the brink of a beautiful morning. That the land here was so wholly unfamiliar but was beautiful somehow. There were no trees or swamps or lakes around— only a large expanse of grassland and short, wiley flowers that had the audacity to bloom. If Lath were a more poetic man, he would pity them. Soon they would be covered with blood, and guts, and entrails, and stinking corpses, of beasts who refused to be herded, and the bodies of two Terraneans who dared to pretend they were shepherds.

“It’s not as though either of us would ever know.” Ensio mused, but not unkindly. “Your horrible habit of unblinking deterred so many.”

“Yet your horrible beard drove off more.” Lath quipped back and the rumble of a chuckle that left Ensio, even as he continued to bleed, made a quirk of a smirk tug at Lath’s lips.

“I would offer to let you experience it on my own chest, as a parting gift,” Ensio started. “But I’m afraid this armor is too hard to remove one handed.” Lath’s eyes flickered back from the horizon to his friend. His left arm still hung only barely in its socket enough to be a meager semblance of functional. If they had anything to cauterize it, Lath would’ve offered to cut it off for him— spare him the dead weight. But they didn’t. And Lath didn’t want to watch his friend bleed out. At least in the frenzy of battle, Ensio’s final cry would hopefully be the only thing he’d witness of it. He had stared death in the face since the day he was born, yet the thought of it cradling its welcoming hands around his closest friend wasn’t something Lath could reconcile with himself.

“Do you regret following me?” Lath asked suddenly. A wind had begun to pick up from the west and both men turned to face it. Though they could not yet hear it, Lath knew Ensio’s sharp, hawk brown eyes would’ve been able to pick out the first details of the beasts and monsters headed this way. He would see their horns, feathers, too wide jaws, inhuman structures and limbs. He would see them fleeing towards what would become their new sanctuary— or prison. The Labyrinth gleamed like a gem in the climbing morning light, with its two guards to usher in the onslaught. The creatures’s flight was brought on by their own gods, they both knew. And though neither men could see them, they’d had more proof than they had in their entire lives that those beings they worshipped were tangible. That they were there.

“The only thing that I regret is not having a roll in the sack just once before I died.”

“Be serious.”

Ensio turned to Lath. And as always, his eyes were dark with a wisdom Lath never claimed to understand, and never would, not as long as the two of them were alive. They turned soft with something like fondness. “I would rather die a hero by your side than waste away in Ubwyn, surrounded by every waking reminder of those I’ve failed.”

“You haven’t failed.” Lath couldn’t help but growl. Yet, Ensio went on calmly, unperturbed by his outburst.

“My mother died. My brothers, my sisters. We couldn’t bury them, we could only leave them behind. It’s not the little king’s fault, nor Zenith’s, nor yours. I just know my father will be heartbroken that he will only see me in Cerullius, not his love, nor the starlight’s that lit his life. If I die by you, Lath, maybe our journey to Cerullius won’t be so horrible. Maybe I can use this as penance for not guiding the rest of my family home.” He let out a shuddering breath—a wheeze. “It’s not a bad death, to die by my truest, dearest friend.” Lath could only hum. And as the shrieking and wailing of the beasts drew near, Lath let his hand over his wounded chest go limp, and he shuffled to Ensio, pulling the taller man into a tight, crushing hug. His armor plates cut Lath’s cheek, and the hug was far too tight for either of their aching ribs but it was important and needed and real. Ensio pulled back first.

“Our people will remember you, Lath. As the hero you were always meant to be. Even if you never received your Oracle’s Blessing, your valor is worth far more than that.”

“What was your Oracle’s Blessing En?” Lath couldn’t help but ask. It wasn’t a secret commonly shared but he suddenly felt that he needed to know. Ensio’s tired lips quirked into a bemused smile.

“To play the sword of a great hero.”

[storiesofsvu]

Second Chair Spark Ch 13

Warnings: Language, smut. Fam, I’m 99% sure this is the end of this fic, I don’t really know how to wrap it up otherwise, (plus who TF knew it would end up being 13 fcking chapters?!) I know I don’t want it to end super fluffy cause it’s not that kinda fic, so I guess send in your requests/prompts/even just a character so I have some shit to do this quarantine! Also yes, in this house we stan Liz Donnelly & Rita Calhoun…

***

A few weeks had passed since the squad had found out about the shenanigans going on at the D.A.’s office, and while there was some teasing, it came to a stop when Casey blew up, admitting to them that it was more than a hook up, you were her girlfriend (and you’d started talking about moving in together considering how much time you were at her apartment anyways). You’d beamed at her, promptly not caring about being in the middle of the bull pen when you pulled her into a kiss, knowing it would make half the squad embarrassed while the other half simply cheered. You still spent most of your time on joint cases, though your case load was nearly to the point that you were practically working solo, but it worked, you had a system by now, barely needing to communicate before a trial started. And those trials were still spent completely torturing the other, playing into each other’s games so by the time you retreated to Casey’s office or the apartment you were both drenched and could barely keep your hands off each other.

Rita would openly groan whenever she walked up to see both of you outside interrogation, Nikki always liked the challenge, and Buchanan slowly started to accept you into the world of lawyers. After you’d wiped the floor with his 5th client, a smirk on your face as you turned back towards the gallery, knowing that no one had been able to break the perp yet, he actually congratulated the both of you, mentioning he must owe you a drink. (Which honestly, you both politely declined, claiming there was too much paperwork to be done).

Despite the detectives and Rita knowing about your relationship, your games in the courtroom were far from coming to a halt, you still used them to trap each other, being so fucking turned on that you’d barely make it to privacy before pouncing on each other. At least now everyone was overly cautious to knock and then wait for at least a vocal reply if not one of you opening the door for them before they entered.

You were currently working together on a sex trafficking ring case that you were obviously taking the cross examination on, Casey had interviewed multiple suspects, edging you on the entire time with the way she inflicted her voice, the raised brow she’d give the gallery that was so obviously intended for you, the way she’d bite her lip while concentrating.  You brought your fucking A game when it came your turn to talk to the mastermind pimp, Casey not missing that you discreetly undid one button lower than appropriate for the courtroom on your shirt. Your hair was loose today, your lips plump with a red lipstick, your voice smooth as velvet as you tortured the asshole who spent years torturing girls. You basically sauntered your way through the courtroom, leading the asshole on, if she hadn’t know any better Casey would think you were even flirting with him past your normal amount. You pulled your usual weakness stance, hands leant against the barrier of the box so the perp could really drink you in, she saw his eyes linger, much longer than normal down your shirt before he stuttered over your question. A few more rounds of back and fourth and he was fucking putty in the palm of your hand, and to be completely honest, so was Casey.

The jury left to deliberate, not giving you enough time to sneak off, especially since Olivia and Elliot kept commending you on how insanely well you’d handled the trial. They’d handed you a wreck of a case (which, on separate occasions, you’d both let them know) and now you were coming out miles ahead of the defence. Before you’d managed to escape the multiple people talking to you, the jury was back, naturally, all guilty.

**

As fast as you could disappear from that courtroom you could, barely managing to keep your hands off each other before you reached Casey’s office, her hands buried into your hair, pulling you against her, moaning against your lips. Your hands traced around her body, squeezing her breasts, pinching at her nipples as her hand found its way up your skirt. She chuckled against your lips at how fucking drenched you were already.

“So fucking hot baby girl.” She murmured, pushing you back against her desk. Her tongue slipped into your mouth, gasping against you as you pulled her hopelessly close to you, her free hand reached out, pulling open the top drawer of her desk as she dug around for a second before she managed to get the ring vibe on her thumb. You did you best not to shriek as her hand made its way back to your cunt, fingers buried within you, the vibe directly on your clit as she pushed down against it, rubbing the vibrations in circles as your body shivered against her. Casey could feel your arousal drenching her hand, slicking your thighs as she continued to press against you, her teeth biting into your lips. You pussy pulsating around her fingers when a brash knock on the door interrupted you. You whipped apart from each other, you couldn’t help but drop into her desk chair, not sure if your legs could hold you up right now, Casey hit the button to turn the vibe off as she called a soft ‘come in’.

None other than your boss Liz Donnelly entered the room, and she didn’t look impressed.

“Judge Donnelly..” You somehow managed to pull yourself together before Casey did.

“There’s no need with the  fanciness,” She started, “You both know this building leaks like a sieve, right?” You both nodded, somewhat confused,  “So why is that I am just now finding out that that the two of you have been screwing around for over a year?” You felt your face pale, you could practically feel Casey’s heart stop. 

“Well we..” Liz was quick to cut her off,

“When I told you to figure out whatever the hell was going on between you…this isn’t exactly what I meant!”  You both stumbled over your words at an attempt to respond, “That being said, I’m glad you two finally came to your senses and fucked because we were all going insane having to deal with your bullshit.” THAT certainly thew you both off,

“Elizabeth I…” Casey began,

“Don’t..honestly, I’m happy for you.” She moved a couple of steps back, “Though if you use my courtroom as a goddamn thirst trap for each other ever again I’m charging you both in contempt.”

“Yes…” You both managed out, she was almost out the door when she turned back for one more, 

“And Casey…” Novak looked up at her, “I’m really hoping your hand wasn’t up Gerard’s skirt 5 seconds before I knocked on the door.” Donnelly may have disappeared faster than she came barreling in, but she knew exactly what was going on. You’d both moved so quickly Casey hadn’t removed the vibe from her thumb (at least it was turned off). Everyone knew now…and there was no hiding it…maybe it really was best if you kept your sexual shenanigans at home….but where was the fun in that?!

[bonniebird]

Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

Requested by Anon

Halloween event

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The sound of heavy music blared through the few open windows in the house. There was a tipped-over keg from the night before. None of the roommates had cleaned up. To be honest, having seen the state they were in when you’d gone home. You were surprised any of them were awake.

Knocking on the door and receiving no answer, you let yourself in, making your way into the hallway. The floor was a sea of red plastic cups. The smell of stale beer and sour mixers filled the air. No wonder they’d opened the windows as a quick solution. Following the sound of the music, you made your way through a corridor. Most of the doors were closed but one was open and you could see several people crammed on a bed watching something that sounded awfully gruesome. Opening the last door in the hall you found yourself washed over by loud music. 

“Billy? BILLY!” You called over the music. Billy had his back to you and was fiddling with his hair in the mirror leaning against the wall. The stereo on a set of drawers was blasting so loudly it was almost vibrating the window. A cigarette sat smouldering in a half-full ash tray under the mirror showing how focused he was on battling his current curl that was being teased between his fingers. “Billy?” You said, tapping his arm this time.

“Fucking hell! (Y/N)! Don’t sneak up on me. I’ll have to get you a fucking bell.” Billy said as he glanced at you and paused for a moment.

“There was no sneaking! Your music is just too loud.” You said over the music. Billy rolled his eyes as if you were exaggerating but leaned over to turn his music down.

“You come over for your jacket? You left it last night. It’s on the chair.” Billy gestured over to the corner of his room where a deceptively comfortable-looking armchair was angled in one corner, facing out into the room. Despite its plush look, the springs were uncomfortable enough that no one ever sat on it.

“Oh. I hadn’t realised I left it here.” You said and grabbed it.

“So why are you here? Coming to check I didn’t drink myself to death?” He joked and you rolled your eyes.

"Everyone is going to the graveyard. I’m not scared or anything, but It’d be really great if you would go with me." You explained. Billy frowned at you in the mirror and finished fiddling until he was satisfied and turned to look you up and down. He seemed to only now notice that you’d dressed up in a Halloween costume with your sneakers laced up with double knots.

“Yeah? Not scared in the slightest?” He teased as he glanced your way. He picked up the cigarette from the ashtray and moved over to his bed, making it creak as he sat down. 

“No. I just thought you might want to come along.” You answered. He hummed as if he didn’t believe you while letting out a smooth puff of smoke.

“To a graveyard with a bunch of your friends? Are the ones I like going?” He asked. You winced and shook your head.

“Your Halloween party knocked a few people out. They’re staying in for movie nights. Plus there’s a party at ten.” You pointed out as you sat next to him. “Which was where you were going?”

“Yeah. We blew our party budget for the month on one big party. We’re party hopping now. Though I think a few of my roommates are staying in as well.” He muttered. Once he finished his cigarette he turned off the music and grabbed his jacket. “I’ll go with you a while. I’m not staying long though.” 

Billy stayed a solid hour after you wanted to go. While Billy and his roommate’s party had been loud, boozy and chaotic. This was boring. People clumped together at the edge of the graveyard as if they expected the dead to pop up and grab them. Billy was tossed a beer and he left you with your friends to talk. You found him after half an hour busy talking about his car and giving advice on how one of the boys who’d flocked to him could fix up the old car they were working on. Billy, despite not wanting to come, swatted your hand away when you came to ask if he wanted to leave. When you came back he pulled himself away from the conversation and glanced at you.

“Are you ready to go?” You asked and he sighed. 

“Almost. Why’re you getting cold?” Billy asked and started to shrug off his jacket.

“No. Just bored.” You muttered and he chuckled, leaning in and putting his arm around your shoulder. Billy was right. You thought as he pulled you in. You had been a little chilly.

“Finish this for me and then we’ll go.” Billy said as he handed you his half-finished beer and went back to talking. You pulled a face and went to sip at it but paused.

“Whose driving home?” You asked. Billy stopped what he was saying and looked at you.

“Why would you be driving?” Billy asked and looked down at the overflowing bag he’d tossed his empty beer cans into. It was next to a large cooler with a few six-packs and Halloween candy. “Oh.”

“Plus that party later definitely has a keg or two.” You pointed out. He sighed and glanced at his car.

“If I let you drive you’re going to go slow right?” He asked slowly and tried to give you a firm look.

“Me! You’re the one who went so fast over a speed bump that the bumper came off.” You huffed and he chuckled.

“You scuffed my paint job on the curb!” He said playfully and you ducked your head, leaning against him as you grumbled.

“Because you pulled the wheel when I was trying to park.” He snatched the beer back and downed it. Tossing the beer into the rubbish bag before guiding you to his car.

Billy tags:

@stellasblog @deanwinchestersgirl87 @thekayarlene @linkpk88 @babypink224221 @lisainhell @spiderwebs-blog @gryffindorqueensworld @rockyrascal @twerp8999 @theletterhart @boardstomymood @big-galaxy-chaos @greekktragedyy @ietss @alexxavicry @daughterofthenight117 @sarcasm-n-insomnia @multi-fandom5 @skylermoyer @justice-for-the-kaldorei @favmeyou @kaylantus @supernatural-wolfie @yougottalovefandoms @alwaysadreamingoptimist @love1deandra @archaeologydigit @im-eating-rn @bucketbunny

@littlefreakingfangirl @hardladyheart @gillybear17 @lchufflepuffcorn @prettyplant0 @hardladyheart @slxthxrxn-sxmp @jamie-c-bower-simp

@aw--heck

[its-kitten-now]

Happy Anniversary

Okay y’all, um, this was kind of just an outlet the other day, and I’ve never posted anything of mine before, so umm yeah. It’s angst. Let me know what you think? (I’ll have to learn all the formatting people do with these soon.)

Satan x f!MC

----------

She gave up on paying attention to anything and turned on some music videos as she looked out the window into the pitch-black void of night. Ever since she’d left, she’d felt like she could only breathe after the sun went down. It reminded her of home, or at least the only person and place she’d ever felt like she belonged. Yeah, sure, it was only a handful of years. But it was the first time she’d ever felt completely free to be herself and just see what happened. They’d all just accepted her, seemingly delighted by every clumsy or embarrassing thing… until it wasn’t embarrassing anymore. Okay, mostly not embarrassing, anyway. 

And then there was him. When she first met the brothers, she glossed right over him. She’d never really gone for blondes, focusing instead on the commanding presence of the eldest, the Prince, and there was even something quietly powerful about the butler, though she didn’t know what at the time. Just that she was drawn to their sure and confident presence. Most of the others seemed pretty chaotic, to be honest. There was so much going on with each demon as she got to know them; she loved them, and they quickly became her adopted family. But she enjoyed the quiet solitude after those encounters, or the moments when Lucifer or Barbatos would come in with an authoritative air and guide her away from the crazy. 

But that never happened with Satan. He would joke around with the other demons, all eyes on him as he recounted some event with sarcastic wit and charm, but he pretty much just pretended she wasn’t there, aside from the occasional polite smile he’d give while not even really looking at her. Which was… a little uncomfortable, as he was basically a permanent staple in the library she loved to escape to… but oh well. She just tried to explore the areas he wasn’t occupying on a given day. 

Movement pulled her attention back to the present. Her eyes had adjusted to the darkness now, and as a car had driven past, she noticed a silhouette. Could it be? Did he come back after two long years to bring her home?? 

She fell back against the chair as she audibly sighed, disappointed in herself for being so stupid, yet again. It was just someone pausing while their dog explored the patch of grass. He looked nothing like her de- No. Nothing like Satan. 

She thought back on how back then, any time she’d felt sad or insecure, all she’d have to do was recall a handful of important moments, and she could instantly feel peace flow through her. The peace of knowing that he loved her back, and he was choosing her every day. He knew every piece of her, the good and the truly horrid. He’d seen it all and still chose to love her through everything. Despite battling his own internal demons every day, and despite his instinct to run from anything that could make him vulnerable. Who does that? I mean, in stories, sure, but real life? And what, for her?? 

“... Then again,” she rationalized, “we’re talking about demons and another realm. Hell, the Devildom, whatever you want to call it. So I guess… maybe, if it hadn’t been me, maybe it could have been like in the stories. If it had been someone better, someone who could have given him what he needed. Then they could have loved each other enough to save them both.” 

She closed her eyes and sighed, pressing her lips together as she willed the water to stop filling her eyes. Relaxing again, she thought back to grabbing a book from the shelf about the lore of different tourist spots in the Devildom. Ha, tourist spots in hell. Of course. But wow, the cover had this gorgeous rolling valley of blue and purple… grass, maybe?... with an emerald lake and rose-colored sky, and she couldn’t resist it. Engrossed already, she turned away from the bookshelf, actively searching for the name of the gorgeous place she was looking at, and as she looked up she came face-to-face with her disinterested housemate. Their eyes locked for the first time since she’d arrived. Even her heart paused as everything inside and around her froze. Everything except the bolt of electricity zooming throughout her entire body, lighting it on fire. It was only a split-second, and she was pretty sure he only noticed her to the extent she was in his way. She quickly went over to her usual chair, near the fireplace but not close enough to be overly affected by the heat. Not that it mattered, with as red as her cheeks must be right now. As she opened the book to note the gorgeous landmarks she wanted to get to know and visit, she found her eyes darting more and more frequently over to Satan. Surprisingly, a couple times she caught him looking up from his book at her, and she’d have to rush to look away and suppress the smile that threatened to make known these sudden feelings swirling inside her. But she didn’t even know what they were yet, or where they came from.

She concentrated with everything she had at staring at the pages, only allowing her smile to break through in moments she could blame on the book if asked. Why was she turning red? Unable to stop smiling? She’d seen him so many times over the last couple weeks, but something in his eyes had changed her entire world. 

In the days that passed, she still went to the library but avoided any view of Satan that she could help. She’d even moved to the couch directly facing the fireplace, though she now needed a blanket to feel comfortable, to block her view of him completely. Of course it couldn’t last forever, but it worked for now. She just had to figure out… “MC?” Fuck!

She was so focused on not looking at him that she failed to notice him walk over to the side of the couch, and in true MC fashion, she jumped a mile high and lost her place in the book as it slipped through her hands to the floor. Great. Just great. Could she be any more of a mess?? Whatever. Time for self berating later. She rushed to take a breath and steady her voice and face as she turned toward him. 

“Yeah? Can I help with something, S-Satan?” she asked as nonchalantly as possible, tripping up on having to actually say his name to him, out loud, as she met his eyes and felt the now-familiar electricity return. 

“I was wondering if you might want to walk with me down to the local coffee shop. It gives us a break and it could be a good start to your exploration and understanding of the Devildom,” he offered. It sounded casual enough, but there was a hint of unease in his stance and expression. 

“Oh,” she hesitated, as her thoughts were shooting off in a million different directions. “Um, yeah, that sounds good. Thanks!” She was sure that this would either go really well or really, really badly. But fuck it. Only one way to find out, right??

~~~

Fuck, she’d gotten lost in those thoughts again. The memories that used to bring so much joy, and as a sick joke they’d still start to, before she’d remember that it was all over now. 

A downside to only feeling peace in the quiet of night is that the loneliness is so much more pronounced. She felt tears welling in her eyes against her will and started to push them back again, but hell. Sorry, Devildom. No one who matters can see them anyway. She slid into her purple slippers, wrapped her massive, fuzzy blanket around her, and went out onto the porch. Settling into her chair, she took a few deep breaths, let the crisp wind brush past her face, and let the tears fall as she continued to re-live the best and most painful memories of the Devildom. 

Going for coffee had become a regular occurrence, and often lasted a couple hours while they were supposed to be working for the RAD student council. Oops. But he was so fascinating, especially when talking about what he loved. And he encouraged her, as though he were kissing away every insecurity with his words. They laughed so much, and she’d never felt so comfortable even around her own family. She was falling with every word, every laugh, every glance, but she somehow knew she was safe, and it was okay. He was her home, and it was okay. 

There were dark times too, of course. Early on, he’d gotten out of bed, shaking and crying as he told her she should run. He didn’t deserve her and she should run while she still can. His tears drew her own out of her, and she slowly reached for his hands, pulling him into her embrace as she tried to soothe his soul as much as she could. For such a solid start, moments like this one had begun soon after they went “official,” as if a switch had flipped. 

Over the years, they’d skirted a breakup countless times. She worked on herself in therapy (yeah, the Devildom has therapists, because demons deserve good mental health too) to be who she needed but also someone who could be better for him. He eventually even started going to therapy too. 

Satan. THE Satan. In therapy. “HA!” she choked out a laugh as her tears renewed. It was so loud in the otherwise still night, and the volume of her own bitter laugh startled her. If only it had done any good. But they’d get closer, and he’d yank himself back and away, emotionally. Over and over again. He still laughed and still told his stories, but it was different. He went out more with his friends - which is great, but he’d double-book MC and his friends, and cancel on her. He told her less and less about his days. One day he even just bailed on her altogether, completely unable to be reached for the rest of the night. 

MC kept trying to maintain normalcy between them, but at some point you have to stop sacrificing your own armor and asking to be hurt. At some point you have to stop putting yourself out there, stop being so intentionally vulnerable. Still, she loved him and she knew what he’d been through, so after brief respites she’d go back to laying herself out there for him to, increasingly, reject. 

Then one day he was gone. She knew a close friend had been hurt days prior and wasn’t doing well, but she assumed he’d come to her when he was done needing space and instead needed comfort. The friend passed, and she waited patiently.

That day never came. 

~~~

Pulling the blanket around her as she sits in the cold night air, sobbing tearlessly as her tears had run dry, she remembers how different he became. Never cold, but… she was locked out nonetheless. He would act like himself until evening, when he’d drink himself unconscious or awkwardly avoid emotional or physical intimacy. Anyone watching would have thought he and Levi had switched bodies at this rate. Then it came. She’d calmly asked him to reconsider and wait it out, pointing out that no one should make major decisions after any big change, let alone losing someone so close to them. But he held to it and withdrew. He was leaving her.

For a while, she tried periodically to reach out, but it was too painful, living in the realm where everything reminded her of their lives together. Not to mention having to actually live under the same roof, even if she never saw him anymore - he never ate with the family and he’d stopped visiting the library almost entirely. But she still knew he was physically within reach. At one point she even had Lucifer cast a spell on her door so she couldn’t open it during curfew hours, afraid she’d go and make some pathetic display to try to reach Satan’s heart through his grief.

Eventually she left the Devildom. The brothers and royals loved her, but they struggled with the new dynamic and though they didn’t know if leaving would help, they knew that her staying wouldn’t do any good. So she left. She stopped by his room, knocked, and spoke through the door. She could tell from the thickness in the air that he was awake and listening. In demon form, but listening. As she told him she would always love him, and that she wasn’t giving up on him but was just giving him space to heal, she couldn’t keep her voice from wavering nor eyes from filling with water. She left for the Prince’s Castle, where Barbatos was waiting with a portal ready, and disappeared from their realm forever.

That was almost two years ago. She’d thought he would have come for her by now, but the opposite happened. It was two days before October 25th, the would-be anniversary of the day they finally got together at Dia’s birthday/costume party, and Asmo had just sent her a letter. They’d been having a heart-to-heart, and instead of healing, Satan seems to have lost the last couple years of their relationship, as well as other time periods sprinkled throughout their entire history together. He remembers dating her and loving her initially, he says, but basically anything involving deep emotional intimacy has been blocked, whether from a spell gone wrong (or right) or naturally. He’ll never remember that they were in love, apparently. 

On October 25th, sitting there in the familiar cloak of night, MC lost the little composure she had regained as she’d relived the past. Loud sobs once again escaped her as she wailed into the empty darkness. Despite knowing better, she’d always held on to the hope that Satan’s mind would heal and he’d come back to her. Now, on their anniversary, she had to face that that would never happen. He was never coming back. She cried until she could cry no more, then started again ten minutes later. After another half hour, she retreated inside to her bedroom, where her tears stained her pillow and her cries could be heard through the night.

He was gone. Their future was gone. Her life and home were gone. Forever.

~~~

Stepping out from behind the tree, he watched his old friend and lover go inside. He was sorry he couldn’t love her like she wanted, but they’d tried for years and he just couldn’t feel how he wanted for her. He wasn’t even sure why he was here in the first place. Yet, as she closed the door behind her, he noticed his eyes were wet and he felt like someone had ripped a hole in his chest. How strange. Maybe he’s just too lonely right now? With a resigned sigh for yet another “feelings mystery” he’ll never understand, he walks across the park and back through the portal. He can make the feelings disappear soon enough.

[wordstolife]

Chapter 2: Beginning of a Friendship

Hello! Second chapter, and I’m sorry if it’s not what you like to read. But all this is made up in my brain, and typing it all out just helps me. While writing this, I wasn’t entirely sure of how the convos would go but I did my best on it. I hope you enjoy. This chapter will start right where it ended from last chapter.

Bella: “Are you sure it was him? It may have been someone that looks just like him?”

I’m looking at his character Oberyn on the tv, and it looks just like the man I saw at the airport. The one thing that reassured me was that smile. That was definitely him.

“I’m pretty sure it was him.”

Bella: “Well, if it was him, that’s like a 1 in a million-type thing to happen.”

I’ve never met a celebrity; closest I’ve been to one was in concerts. I would have thought maybe they’d brag about who they were. But he didn’t seem like that type.

Bella: “It could have been me.” She sighs.

I gave her a pat on the back with a reassuring tone, “And one day, it will be.”

We continued watching Game of Thrones before we headed to bed. I have never been this exhausted before. Jet lag is killing me.

As I laid in bed, my mind went back to the airport, back to his face, then his smile.

See you around.

 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’ve been in London for over 2 weeks now and I’m so impressed with London, and the people I’ve met through Bella have been so welcoming and warm.

We were all having brunch together at this amazing café that makes the fluffiest and most delicious waffles. The weather was cool, and the sun wanted to come out of the clouds. It was beautiful to my eyes seeing the sun rays peeking through the windows which brightened the place. Today was a beautiful day.

James: “Did you guys find a costume yet? We have 2 days left.” As he was grabbed for the milk on the table.

I love Halloween. I love to dress in costumes. It’s been so long I’ve been out for Halloween, and when James heard that, he invited us all out to a club for Halloween night. He’s the manager at the club and has planned a huge event for adults to come out and play. He seems like a good guy, with such a dark and witty humor. He talks to you with such respect, and he is not afraid to respectfully be honest.

Miriam: “Jackie has her costume; we just need one for me and Andrea.”

James: “What are you thinking of being, Dre?”

Dre is my new nickname from James, it’s just my name but shortened. I never got nicknames unless you count mean ones from high school. Dre, was pretty cool to me.

“I want to be whimsical this year. I was thinking a costume with wings, so I thought I’d be a fairy.”

```````

After brunch, the girls and I headed out to town and went to every shop we could find. I found my pair of wings, now we just needed a really nice fairy like dress.

Jackie: “We can add more frill to the dress, and some glitter perhaps. We can do so much to make you a pretty fairy.” She said as she claps her hands together in excitement.

Jackie is a mom to a 4-year-old little girl, Lily, and makes costumes for her every year. Before Lily, Jackie was always into Halloween. Something we both bonded over about. I’ve seen the Pikachu and Ash costume she made for her daughter and husband; the girl has talent.

It was near dinner time, and we managed to find most of what we needed. We’re all starving, and I really need something to eat and drink before I turned into the angry troll from under the bridge. We were walking down the block in search of food and my eye caught a promising pub that had a sign for Burgers & Chips.

“Let’s go in here.” I pointed to the pub. It looked a little busy for a Monday night, but not crowded. The inside was a little dark but had nice lighting that felt cozy. The ambience was peaceful and noticed many happy faces in here. The smell of what was cooking in that kitchen was mouthwatering. This was the place.

We sat down and ordered our food and drinks. And we all felt relief from our feet, we had been from store to store and not once did we sit down. This would be the break we will get today.

Miriam: “So when are you two leaving for your next spot?” she asked looking at me and Bella.

Miriam is a go getter. She’s this vibrant woman, and at 30 years old, she has accomplished almost everything she’s wanted to do. She’s an only child to a single mother, who home schooled Miriam because her mother wanted to show the whole world to her. They often travelled, and Miriam has seen and experienced so much. She’s who I want to be. She inspires me.  She met the love of her life 5 years ago in India, and he shared the same passion for travelling. Right now, Miriam feels like she has accomplished everything, well almost everything. She wants to start a family, and she recently has gotten engaged. She has everything I’ve always wanted.

“We will be leaving Sunday night for Germany. This will be our last week here together.”

Bella: “Oh no, we need to make the most of it this week. But it’s going to be so much fun travelling around and seeing new places.”

Miriam: “Oh you’ll have loads of fun. It can be like Eat, Pray, Love. Travelling, eating, meeting new people, perhaps a new love?”

Ah, LOVE.

I love the idea of meeting someone that could be the one. I would love to meet someone who is on the same level as me, who wants the same things as I want plus more. That wants to grow old together and love every single wrinkle.  

“If the right person comes along, I’ll gladly accept it. But I’m scared to waste more time on another person. So right now, my main focus is me. And I’m happy to be travelling now, even though it could have been sooner.”

Miriam: “Better now than never. And just like in Eat, Pray, Love. Don’t be afraid of love when it comes.”

Jackie: “Yes, and it may seem like you wasted time, but think of it this way. Whatever wrong direction we take, life will bring you back on the right one.”

Bella: “That was fucking deep, wow.”

Jackie: “I think it’s the wine.” She held her glass up to all of us and said “Cheers”.

As the girls continued with their conversation, I began to think about what Jackie had just said. She’s right when she said about steering off path, but you’ll get back on it eventually. I wanted to travel for as long as I can remember. I’ve been saving my money since I was 16, so when I turned 21, the goal was to start travelling. But then I met my ex, and all that changed. My plans were put on hold so that he could catch up. And then eventually, it just didn’t seem anything was going to happen. I felt trapped. Fast forward to present time, and here I am. In London, having drinks and food with friends I’ve made.

I took a temporary detour, but now I’m back where I needed to be.  

My thoughts were quickly interrupted by laughter’s from a group on the other side of the pub. I smile at the group because it makes me happy to see happy people.

Jackie: “Looks like we need to outdo their fun.”

“Well, let me use the washroom first, then we can show ‘em who’s having a better time.”  I winked at her as I left the table.

I’m nearing the bathroom and walking pass the group when one of them whose back was facing me, backed into me stepping on my foot.  

“Ouch.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry.” I heard him say, and he turned to face me, with a drink in his hand. My eyes widened when I saw his face.

“You?”

He looked at me with slight confusion, but quickly realized who I was. He smiled at me with that big kind smile of his. My face felt hot.

Pedro: “Andrea.” He said with such a teasing tone.

He remembered my name.

“You remembered my name?”

Pedro: “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

“I’m just shocked a celebrity remembers a stranger’s name.”

Pedro: “Oh, you figured it out.” Pointing at me with that big smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were in Game of Thrones?”

Pedro: “I was also in Narcos.” He said matter of fact.

“You were? Oh my God, I’m terrible with faces. I remember you more now. The detective?”

He chuckled and nodded his head, then turned around to his group while pulling me to his side to introduce me.

Pedro: “Sorry guys, this is Andrea. I met her at the airport, she was the one that stole my wallet.”

“I’m sorry, no. I didn’t steal it!” I said, mortified that his friends are probably thinking I’m a thief and perhaps a stalker.

“He’s kidding, he’s a goofball this one. I’m Javiera, his older sister.” She has the same smile as Pedro.

“Nice to meet you.” I introduced myself to the rest of the group who were all very friendly and cheerful. By the sounds of their accents, they’re not from London. “Are you all visiting London?”

Pedro: “Business and pleasure. I flew out here for some press and interviews. And then I flew them out to meet me here. Now we are enjoying a few drinks and laughs. What about you?”

“Pleasure. I’m visiting friends here in London. Which they’re right over there, staring at us.” I pointed at my group, who were looking my way, confused as to how I know them. But Bella, her eyes were wide and looked like she was ready to bounce off the walls. “Fair warning, one of my friends over there are a huge fan of Game of Thrones, and she loved you as Oberyn.”

Pedro: “Invite them over,” he said as he was waving them over. “Our table is big enough.”

I waved them over and they quickly left their table and almost ran over to us. Bella, with huge excitement in her eyes was staring at him almost like she’s wondering if he’s real. Her eyes would burn holes into his face if it were possible.  

We’ve made our introductions, and Bella had been firing question after question about how certain things were filmed, and how he felt doing some of those intimate scenes, and if he was sad to leave the show, etc. Pedro seemed so unbothered and was genuinely happy to answer her questions. When I was observing him, I noticed he makes eye contact with everyone he talks to. He makes you feel like you are part of a family and makes you comfortable. He’s the type of person that’s so easy to talk to, and so kind with how he speaks to everyone. It’s very rare to see people like this. He was always smiling; I don’t think this man can ever get angry.

``````

It’s nearing closing time at the pub, and we all have hoarse voices from all the talking and laughing. I’m pretty sure the manager wants us out right away since we were the loudest people there tonight. So, we all get our bills paid, and headed out into the cold night air. As we all stood outside the bar, we begin to say our goodbyes, then I felt someone tap on my shoulder.

I turned around and was face to face with Pedro, who was holding his phone up to me. I looked at it confused why. “Do you want me to have it?”

Pedro: “No,” he chuckled, “How can we keep in touch? You’re too interesting not to keep in touch with.”

“I’m interesting?” I said, kind of shocked. I was entering my phone number into his cell, and I hear his chuckle.

Pedro: “Yes, very. You’re driven and ambitious too. I figured, if you and I end up in the same area, we could have coffee.”

“Coffee sounds nice.” I smiled as I handed back his phone.

Pedro: “Hug goodbye?” he said with arms open.

“Of course.” His hug felt so embracing. It was hugging someone you feel so safe with, felt warm.

We all assembled back into our groups after saying goodbyes, and as we start to walk our own directions, I get a ding from my phone. I look at it quickly and see it’s from an unknown number.

Message from Unknown:

Until next time, I hope you enjoy your trip. If life allows it, and we are in the same area codes, let’s make a deal and have coffee.

Pedro.

I smiled at the text, and why am I smiling big I have no idea. He’s handsome and has an amazing personality and way of thinking. I just shake my head, and text back.

Message to Pedro:

Deal. Don’t be a stranger either, super star.