[Black text on a white background that reads:
my gender is whatever makes me easiest to kill,
my gender is breeding stock, kill all men, can’t you just stay unobtrusive and neutral, the question cut apart in debate chambers, my ragged flesh and bones picked for statistics and arguments by vultures in suits who go home to too-young wives, breathing out my same old screams to useless onlookers sitting in rows, you’re disgusted by my blood on the floor but unwilling to shoot down what’s killing me slowly, what are the magic words i need to say to get you to care that i’m dying,
my gender is polite young woman in a pantsuit long long dead, forward-thinking and modern, isn’t it funny that she lived as a man, she wanted better opportunities, we dug up the body and passed it around the archives and if you look here you’ll see the place where they cut out the most important parts, so sad to see such irreversible damage, so sad she never had children, so sad she was mutilated, but she was such a trailblazer, the first woman to put a bullet in a state senator’s head,
my gender is a bullet in a state senator’s head, shooting down vultures before they break my sibling’s skin, crippled tranny faggot (triple threat) with a score to settle, with a gash down the center of its chest spitting fire through pharmacy phone lines, never fucked someone who wasn’t an enemy of the state, never was your little girl, sticking around till the bitter end and triple dog dare you to come bash me yourself you bloody-beaked coward, come watch me be the monster you all say i am,
my gender is whatever makes me hardest to kill.]
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Soooo my dishwasher caught fire today.
Yep.
I started a load, sat down in the living room to work, and a little while later there was a burning plastic smell in the air. I ran into the kitchen to find whitish gray smoke billowing out of the top of the door.
Bad News: the dishwasher is toast and must now be replaced.
Good news: it was old and not-so-great anyway and it’s Labor Day weekend, a rather lucky time to need a new appliance.
I spent more money than I would’ve liked but around $400 less than I would’ve if I’d needed to do this some other week, so I’m at peace.
And it’ll be nice to have a dishwasher where the top rack isn’t constantly falling out of the track and there aren’t holes in the silverware basket big enough for the silverware to fall through. (The new one has a top rack for silverware. Luxury of luxuries.)
Now I wait to get the call that lets me know when they can schedule my delivery. Might be as much as two weeks.
I have my fingers crossed it’ll be a day when I’m supposed to be in the office, so I can say I have to work from home that day.
Keep those silver linings coming.
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Unanswered questions about Dazai's backstory that are driving me fucking insane
(Yeah, so, completely against my will, Bungou Stray Dogs has been consuming every last neuron in my brain for the past several weeks, so I thought I'd share my unraveling)
(mentions of eye injuries and self-harm/attempted suicide below the cut, if you're sensitive to those kinds of things).
(1) In season 2, episode 3, when Ango turns out to be a spy in the Port Mafia, Dazai says, "Everything I never want to lose is always lost. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life, this suffering." Like! What the fuck does this mean?!?!! What happened in Dazai's life that made him think this? The way he says it indicates that him "losing things he wants to keep" has happened often enough for it to become a pattern for him, so what was Dazai talking about when he said this?
(2) In season 3, episode 3, why did Dazai say "thank you" to the old Port Mafia boss when he killed Rimbaud's double of him?
In the sub, he says "let me thank you for once," and in the dub, he says "I'll never get another chance to say this, so thank you". Why did he say that?
(3) Why did Dazai keep his eye covered as a teenager? At first, I assumed it was because Dazai had some kind of injury that he was covering, considering how easily it bled every time Dazai sustained some kind of damage to his head or face, but never to the eye directly. In episode 1 of season 2, when a bullet grazes the side of his face, his eye starts to bleed
and the same thing happens again in episode 1 of season 3 when Chuuya kicks him into a wall.
BUT! When Oda's dying and he pulls Dazai's bandages off, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with his eye. And it can't be that Dazai was just wearing them as some kind of intimidation tactic; there had to have been something wrong with it, because we see it bleed twice (even though the eye itself never sustained any direct injury), but there is no visual indication that anything is wrong with his eye, either in the flashbacks or in the present (no scars, seemingly no vision issues, and no discoloration in the eye like you might expect to see as a result of permanent damage). So I am asking WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE BANDAGES FOR
(4) Where did Dazai come from before he was in the Port Mafia? We know that he was a witness to the old boss's murder when he was 14, but Dazai wasn't an official Mafia member until he was 15 when Mori tasked him to work the Arahabaki case. Was Dazai always connected to the Mafia in some way, or did he come from a normal family before Mori inducted him?
(5) FOLLOWING THAT: where are Dazai's parents? In the "Fifteen" novel, it's stated that Dazai wasn't a mere orphan that Mori just picked up, but we don't know if Dazai's parents are dead or alive or where they would be if they were alive.
(6) What are Dazai's bandages actually for? Given Dazai's track record of suicide attempts, it's a common theory that the bandages are to hide self harm scars (I subscribe to this theory myself, as it's the most plausible), but we don't actually know because we've never seen Dazai without his bandages before.
EDIT: (7) Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. In season 3, episode 2-
What is the motivation behind this scene? Why does Dazai keep shooting? Why does he think that the soldier deserved to suffer more? Dazai offers the guy a more merciful death, but Dazai also thinks that a merciful death is "more than he deserves". Why does Dazai think this? This can't just be about this one soldier, because Dazai hasn't had any kind of encounter with him before this. Dazai is clearly having some kind of small breakdown, but what triggered it and why?
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I just really need to point out that Charlie Slimecicle is a man KNOWN for his acting skills (In JRWI and just a multitude of videos and streams where he's created lore), his narration skills, writing skills, etc, etc.
Case and point, he managed to make thousands of people become genuinely emotionally attached to a Minecraft egg and his character of the grieving father, going through all stages of mourning and becoming murderous in his grief- in about a weeks time.
And his acting on Just Roll With It and the places where he really gets to shine through with those skills are just fucking incredible obviously.
NOW IMAGINE CHARLIE SLIMECICLE ON THE GEN LOSS SET. ON THE SET FOR AN ANALOGUE HORROR. WHERE HE CAN ACT. AND PLAY A PART IN A FUCKING AWESOME HORROR SERIES.
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Life is hard! Consider buying my stuff!
My life isn't quite falling apart, but things have gotten really tricky lately. One housemate (and their super destructive, permanent houseguest) is refusing to pay their share of rent or utilities for the next three months, and another is refusing to pay their full share of rent for that same amount of time and is making us cover around $75 every month, and I'm having to double-up my hours at work while still being a full-time student (and also one of my professors, who we're 99% sure is using ChatGPT to generate her citations because none of them exist and we pointed this out, hates my guts and has been grading me really harshly and forcing me to go full-sail on every assignment to ridiculous degrees in order to pass this required class).
My spouse is working on getting full-time at their job, but it looks like they won't be able to until December, and we also have no idea how much rent is going to increase this year-- my guess is it's going to go up another $500, same as last year, to a total of $3,000, so things are gonna get really fucking bumpy until around January, probably.
So basically, if you like the work I've done, consider throwing me a tip on Ko-Fi or buying my stuff on Itch.io:
(Also I promise we have more stuff lined up that we want to polish and publish, life has just been super-duper fucking busy! There is so much more going on right now than what I've mentioned here, especially in terms of surprise medical bills and other horrible surprises. And we haven't forgotten about Inky Paws issue 2, either, which we're still hoping to have done by December and which will STILL always be entirely 100% free to download, no matter what our living or money situation looks like. That will never ever change, so please don't worry!)
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