#(never cared much for this stuff due to it just being... kinda boring ngl)

[llitchilitchi]

really want a book that documents the evolution of dress in greek cultures from minoan period up to hellenistic period, the way that ancient greeks went from much more structured dresses with more sewing and something that could even be considered more elaborate patterns back in minoan and mycenaean times, but then turning to chitons and peplos that are (while elaborate in the fabric pattern, much like the earlier dresses), to put it very simply, just a square piece of fabric pinned and tied to make a garment? driving me crazy lives rent free in my brain I need someone who's actually educated on this stuff to talk about it for some 500 pages

[artsinus]

Recent arts

I just drew some quick little traditional drawings of Bambinata from PGR and some woman I made up that i thought i drew decently.

Ignore the weird perspective I’m still learnin 😩

Aside from that however, there was a drawing I was workin on that I doubt will be working on for a while. This drawing was supposed to be my big grand entrance back to digital, but I keep messing up so i’m just going to post it as a WIP and work on it later. It’s a drawing of Onikata Kayoko from Blue Archive, another gacha game i’ve been playing.

You can stop readin here cuz i’m gonna detail my journey of Blue Archive.

I never usually play games like Blue Archive because I despise games that are boring to play (usually idle games). I avoided Blue Archive not only because it didn’t look fun to play, but the community is extremely sussy which is creepy considering almost everyone in the game are underage minors. Personally, it ain’t real so idc but It’s still pretty icky to me. Recently however, I found the animator named BlueSeichi, who animated cute stuff about Blue Archive. Here is where I learned about the OST of BA, which is stupidly good for no reason. Due to this, I downloaded the game, and I’m having fun with it as my casual game while PGR is my main game. My top 3 favorite characters rn are Kayoko, Wakamo, and Toki.

The characters of BA carry the game, everybody having unique personalities. P.S, Kayoko and Wakamo are the only confirmed adults so what a coincidence 🤔. I also realized that the gameplay ain’t as braindead as I though, with it requiring skill timing and team building to actually clear harder content as apposed to pure brute force with leveling up. If I had to say what the hardest gacha games I played were, it’d be Arknights, Punishing: Gray Raven and then Blue Archive. The gameplay just has so much charm and personality to it.

Do yer want to know why I love Kayoko and Wakamo so much? Kayokos such a sweet heart, even with how she looks. In her description, she’s literally the only sane one in Problem Solvers 68 and she literally keeps it from crashing breh😩. She’s also a cat and music lover so based. Everybody in Problem Solvers is such a goofball, but Kayoko just follows along with their shenanigans just because she doesn’t want to break people’s expectations that she isn’t a delinquet. She knows how she looks may be detering, but she doesn’t care enough to change it. She also has some mystery to her, as it was revealed she knows Ako, from the Disciplinary Committe, one of the big bois that protect Gehenna. So, people say she used to work in the club, but it doesn’t make sense why she’d leave to go to join a rowdy troublemaking group full of nutjobs. Overall she’s a mystery overall, being disguised as a delinquent even tho she’s actually competent.

Wakamo, is crazy. In a good way. She’s basically a yandere, but one you can fix. Literally. Basically she’s one of the seven prisoners who broke out after the disappearance of the general student council president. She’s pretty violent and destroys every place she goes. When she met Sensei however, she developed love at first sight, and she kinda just stalks him. However, she actually listens to what Sensei says if he reprimands her, since she started holding back her violence specifically for Sensei. Like seriously, if Sensei tried, he could actually fix Wakamo, which is why I like her so much because she isn’t just your typical yandere.

And toki is just cool. I think i’ll like her more if I read her relationship stories, but the fact she can transform into a cool mecha suit is super badass ngl.

Blur archive has been quite the experience for me, and I an actively looking more osts for my playlist.

[banana-milk-enthusiast]

Clear Card arc is finally done woohooo.....

🌸 SPOILERS BEWARE 🌸

I dont like being negative about this, I really did try to love it. But sitting through 80 chapters over several years just for an ending like that almost feels like an insult.

At least we got more Sakura, Xiaolang, and the og cast because not much else was going for it.

Rambles below I guess

It just felt so aimless all the time, and it was driving me insane. Outside of Sakura and Xiaolang's romantic relationship, there was no growth whatsoever. No one really matured further or learned a lesson or developed their character.

Admittedly I never cared for Akiho from the jump because she felt like she was just a Sakura clone with no personality; and while that ended up being the point due to plot it actually made me dislike her even more. She was literally just a plot device at all times, but the manga acts like you should be endeared to her somehow. Her crush on Kaito also made me more annoyed than anything but thats to me personally.

Kaito annoyed me at the beginning, but as more of his actions were revealed, I started finding him really interesting. But his plan was kinda disappointing ngl, where is the drama??? I literally felt no urgency about the situation because he was so soft that there wasn't even a 1% doubt in my mind anyone would end up hurt. In the end he wasnt even really a final villain.

Just a failed opportunity to make an actual villain. Which now that i think about it is something cardcaptor does very often, and yet Kaito is still the least interesting of the bunch. How is Eriol the child more menacing of a rival character than a mage that masters time magic.

Also, why make Sakura create all those clear cards just to get rid of them at the end. I understand that most of them were redundant, but like it feels like a waste. I actually enjoyed how she used the weirdly specific cards to her advantage. So to just delete most of them sucks. She pretty much keeps Flight and the ones with matches from the Clow cards fused.

And I can't believe i sat through all of that just to toss in some Tsubasa stuff in the end. I like Tsubasa. In super small quantities. But I actually dont want it to bleed into Cardcaptor. that's what XXXHolic is for cmon. Fai's symbol in the magic books, Sakura mentioning passing the clow staff on one day, Syaoran learning to master time magic.... It's too much. Because the whole heritage thing in Tsubasa is easily my least favorite part. It's so unnecessarily convoluted for no reason. I was about to start my Tsubasa rant, let me stop.

It just felt like nothing had happened. 80 chapters of just weirdly convoluted plot with no expense or dire situations. Like idk how to explain how i feel.

But if I read 80 chapters and the only emotions I feel are Confusion and Cuteness (over Sakura and Syaoran); then it's actually really sad. What happened to drama and suspense. Or literally anything about the Hero's journey. Does CLAMP need to go back to english class/creative lit???

I've read a lot of CLAMP works okay. I would even say I'm a fan. But this is probably one of the most boring work they've made. It's not the worst, but honestly, close.

Now, this might just be my childhood rose colored glasses for the og. Or the fact I'm much more familiar with the anime than the manga, which I only read once. I know the anime made many changes, so for all I know, the og manga could've been the same in writing. But I really hope that should the anime return, it cleans up whatever that mess was because I felt like I was slowly going insane during Clear Card arc.

[salaciousslut]

How has your day been so far, sweetheart?<3 also im ngl sometimes when i listen to Igual Que Un Ángel by Kali Uchis i think of you🫣

I'd trust you with my life if i ever blacked out tbh! I dont trust many people around me when im drunk but you give off a really safe feeling so if it were just us two i would maybe over do it on the alcohol 🫣 the thought of being hung over is so scary to me tbh!! I never wanna be hung over! And if i drink on an empty stomach im fucked like im just real drunk off one shot its not fair 🙄 i hope you'd have fun with us if you got drunk with us!! but im ngl i think i was a lil weird last night due to unfortunately getting a bit horny but y'know thats life😩 im just glad my friends werent able to tell cause that's between me and whoever i wanna tell. Normally though we are just big dorks abour anime, movies, and random tv shows, and i cant shut up about music half the time. 🤭

Im the same way!! i just unfortunately occasionally have some like autism/adhd moments where suddenly ive focused too much on trying to actively listen and end up not listening, so if i ask you to repeat yourself a few times its either bc of that or the fact that my audio processing stuff is kinda crazy at times. But i know i'll enjoy hearing you talk<3

Tease me as much as you want to<3 and by all means go ahead and be a menace. Either way im gonna end up with my fingers inside you🥰 i wanna make you melt, i wanna see just how much you need someone inside of you<33

Its sweet that you wanna spoil me<3 like it feels like a crime that youre calling me kind when you keep talking about taking care of me and spoiling me and im just saying nice things. Like i should be taking care of you, youre the princess here sweetheart<3 and i swear to you im thriving under any circumstance, the universe wakes me up every morning by gently kissing my eyelids hehe🤭

I hope to show you my smile and see yours, i dunno how you feel about video calls, but maybe when im comfy with it and if youre comfy with it (and after ive been in your dms a little while) we can do a lil video call! Just an innocent little hang out between a butch and a pretty girl<3 I'll let you know if you feed it too much in that case, I could use a lil more confidence just not too much. I can teeter on the edge of entitlement if i let it go too far, and i hate who i am when i act entitled like that version of me is such a dick and not even in a hot way.

its been okay, ive been studying all day because i have a big exam on monday which is soooo boring but im trying my best! and omg i just listened to the song and its so pretty!! im really honored that you think of me 🥺☺️ ive listened to a few of kali uchis stuff and its sooo good!!

aww yes i take care of my people!! im the mom friend so i gotta make sure everyone is alive and safe! but hehe i hope u werent horny because of me 🫣 if it was then oopsies sorry babe! and i love big lil dorks!! im a lil nerd myself so i totally understand!!

its okay i know what u mean! i have auditory processing issues too but im very understanding and well always do as asked so u never have to worry being around me!

ahh youre soo swoon worthy, i want you inside me now!!!! 🥺

youre saying nice things because you are nice and kindhearted! plus i just like seeing other happy!! and we can take care of each other!! none of that one way shit!!! its give and take!! hehe im kissing u on the nose and temple rn 😘

yes yes i love video calls, im the type who if u give me permission to call u whenever, ill learn ur schedule and just ft out of the blue bc i miss ur face and presence. i know how u feel tho so please take ur time!! hehe handsome butch and a pretty princess on the phone is too powerful tho, everyone else needs to watch out

okay i understand!! but dont be too hard on yourself okay? u deserve good things

[mabeysomeclasspecting]

I gotta send this in before I overthink it too much lol. Even now in this ask box I’m adding shit.

•What are your interests/hobbies?

I like making genetically accurate family trees for a specific book series. Ngl though, I’ve started it, stopped several books in, restarted it completely, and repeat the cycle. I still have not finished that project. I am interested in psychology too because I’m curious as to the reason/why people do the things they do. I also enjoy listening to music and collecting random tiny objects. If I ever get the chance, I like building things too. Could be anything from legos to model houses/rooms, or an object made from stuff I found in nature or on the ground.

•How do you see yourself?

I’m polite but I usually don’t really care about people most of the time. I’m a bit detached too in that sense, because people close to me will be having problems and I don’t really care too much. I have a short temper, but I actively try to tone down my general emotions, or act like I’m fine if I’m getting upset because I feel like afterwards I didn’t deserve to feel mad lmao—doesn’t always work. When I’m not chilling and I’m in fact very upset, I tend to go for destructive answers. I would say I’m very loyal to my friends though. I’m very detail-oriented and like to do things a certain way, to the point where I’m itching to take the lead from someone because I feel like I could do it right. Sometimes I can get a little bit pushy when I want certain information out of someone. Also, I have awful time management. I know I’ll have a task to do but I’ll actively ignore it to do something else, and then I’m left to do the task 3 hours before it’s due. I’m sensitive, but I don’t like being seen as sensitive. Can you tell that I contemplate myself a lot haha

•How do you think others see you?

I like to keep track of what people describe me as because I’m curious as to how people perceive me. I’ve been described as mellow, diligent, naïve, smart, and extremely quiet verbally and physically. I don’t talk to a lot of people so I’m probably seen as a loner occasionally. I’ve also been called innocent and gullible. While I’ve never heard anyone say it, I’m pretty sure a lot of people think I’m sheltered as hell. A hard worker too maybe. They probably see me as very creative and artistic too. Maybe a bit of a know-it-all, since I have a tendency to correct people without thinking. I just want them to have the right information.

•How do you interact with your friends?

I guess I’m more chill and responsible, I don’t respond much. I give advice when it’s implied or asked for but other than that I’m kinda uninvolved. I’ve been called boring (as a joke) because there’s literally no drama worth talking about going on in my life while my friends have relationship drama every 3 hours. She once straight up told me to just lie about drama happening to me so I would have something to talk about lol. Once I feel I’m allowed to act like it, I can be a little chaotic with friends, and even be a bit of an instigator.

•What’s important to you? (Specific people, ideas, morals, objects, etc.)

It’s important to me that people are fair and honest. Like if two of my friends are fighting and I think one of them is being treated unfairly, idc if they’re both my friends, I will absolutely fight the one being unfair. I like honesty because I admit I’m kinda gullible and I do not like being lied to. I also like keeping whatever trinkets I find, I’m both sentimental and paranoid that I’ll need them in the future for whatever reason. It’s also important that I have headphones or any music player because I listen to music a lot, especially my repeated songs.

•Describe the ideal you, what kind of person do you strive to be?

I don’t really have a type of person I want to be necessarily, I just want to be happy with my choices and my life. I guess I want to be seen as smart and logical, and not sensitive and over-emotional. I don’t want to be held on a pedestal though, I just wanna be seen as some guy and that’s it.

Hi!

Aspects: Time, Space, Mind

Classes: Bard, Page, Prince

Try out Bard of Time and Page of Space first, I think one of those two will feel right.

Hope this helps!

[bigboymoozz]

:0 omg thank you for the tag!

origin of your blog? : my current user is just a name i use online now, but originally it was "cant-you-feel-my-heart" bc i made this account innnnn middle school/6th grade i think maybe idk. Anyway!! It was a BMTH song I liked lol

otp’s : ngl I'm super into Xfiles rn so Skully/mulder. One of my few straight ships I tolerate

fave color : GREEN😈

fave game: love and deepspace, SDV, fields of mistria, minecraft. I'm very much a "watch someone else play" person tho tbh. I used to wanna be a streamer or lets-player so bad

song stuck in your head: Shame by mitski

weirdest habit/trait? I'll bite myself if an edit is just tew good

hobbies: rn it's just crochet, I'm pretty boring. I collect PCs but it's passively.

if you work, what’s your profession?: I'm jobless and broke and no one gets back to me on my applications 😔

if you could have any job, what would it be?: I had a LOT of different interests in terms of "careers" but prob fire watch? Isolated, trees, perfect. Outside of that, astronomer or paleontologist. (I'm, in fact, an eng major for convenience)

something you’re good at: ahhhh, I don't rlly think I have something I'm good at, lmao.

something you’re bad at: time management. I'm doing online college rn and so my time management should be smoothed out by now since I'm a junior but no. I get stuff assigned Monday, due next Sunday, and I'll start on Thursday and complain I'm stressed.

something you love: kpop duh

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: star trek maybe

something you hate: people that are rude to service workers. Like being mean to the call center at a car place because your car isn't fixed yet, or being rude to the waitress when your food isn't perfect. Oh and mama's boys. And I don't Mean guys that love their moms. I mean the ones who are like, unable to care for themselves bc mommy does everything

something you forget: anything and everything, I've been off my adhd meds since 2020 (bc no insurance, not for lack of wanting)

what’s your love language? Quality time maybe? My best friend and I were kn the phone for two hours last night while they did work amd I watched NCIS. Outside of the occasional comment from me abt the show, it was parallel play silence lmao

favorite movie/show: Jurassic park franchise ig, New Girl

favorite food: pizza, ravioli, SPINACH 🗣, greasy ass food court food, and everything bagels

favorite animal: cats!!

are you musical? Aw, I used to be? I wanted to learn instruments like piano and guitar but I quickly realized my hands don't respond to my brain as quick as I'd want lmao! But I was in choir for years! All of middle and highschool!

what were you like as a child? Very outgoing and extroverted! My mom said I used to talk to strangers (safely, from the shopping cart) all the time! Somewhere along the line, after moving like 5 times before the age of 12, I withdrew massively and never regained that confidence lmao.

favorite subject in school? English, History.

least favorite subject? math🗣 and PE.

what’s your best character trait? Ppl trust me pretty quickly! I guess I just have those vibes??

what’s your worst character trait? I'm a control freak and will go overload myself with responsibility and freak out

if you could change any detail about your day right now, what would it be? i wish i got some sleep last night :/ but thats very frequently the case lmao

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? I'd go tell myself I'm trans when I was younger, save myself all the confusion.

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love): omg so it's on ao3, it's called Aurora - A New Dawn by poizonivory and I'm reading it rn, it's a Twilight New moon rewrite kinda for the team jacob girlies I mean (it's in the future, Bella and Edward get divorced, she moved back to forks, plot ensues)

Tags!(dont feel pressured to do this at all!, also yes tagging non kpop accts)(anyone can do it tho!) @secretttsupersecrettt @cowboylikemunson @spidergirllexi @yeosanitycheck

get to know your mutuals! (new thread)

ty @st4ytiny for tagging me!! the og post was so long so i just made a new one😭🙏 i loved doing this!

what’s the origin of your blog? ➜ my best friend actually came up with the name for me! i love vampires so she was like what about vamp city? we just replaced the c with a z to make it cool!

favorite fandoms: ➜ atiny, zerose, stays, once, as well as anime fandoms! i also love monster high & love and deepspace too! OH and animal crossing!

OTPs/shipname: ➜ jikook, chanlix, woosan & haobin! i love their friendships sm they’re all truly the best of friends who grew up together and i love that for them! i love comparing my own friendships to them 💔

favorite color: ➜ black and red! i also love baby blue and baby pink! such cute colors hehe

favorite game: ➜ it tends to change but i wanna say any spider-man game, mariokart, mario party, and animal crossing!

song stuck in your head: ➜ devil game by zerobaseone & deer hunter by &team!

weirdest habit/trait? ➜ i make weird noises OR sing a random verse out of no where LMAO. i also can make my voice really deep for no reason

hobbies: ➜ i love photocard collecting, singing, dancing!

if you work, what’s your profession?: ➜ retail…

if you could have any job, what would it be?: ➜ forensics!

something you’re good at: ➜ yapping people’s ears off, singing and dancing!

something you’re bad at: ➜ tbh focusing on one thing. my attention span is literally out the window..

something you love: ➜ driving, kpop, dancing, dogs, sword art online

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff: ➜ conspiracy theories!!! i love them

something you hate: ➜ SPIDERS!!! i hate them!!! i also hate when people always try to one up you or are just rude for no reason at all. also ppl who actively try to make a rise out of your dog after you tell them he’s overprotective !! ugh.

something you forget: ➜ to eat. i constantly forget and not on some ED type beat i just genuinely forget until im lightheaded and shaky LMAOO😭

what’s your love language? ➜ gift giving and words of affirmation! i will literally spend my last 3 dollars on somebody like

favorite movie/show: ➜ sword art online & the nightmare before christmas

favorite food: ➜ loaded fries, mac and cheese and pizza

favorite animal: ➜ cows, i LOVE cows😭

are you musical? ➜ yes!! i’ve been in choir from 6th -12th grade as well as musicals! i was in marching band during highschool and i’ve also been apart of a kpop dance group! :)

what were you like as a child? ➜ quiet but also kinda weird? my mom had my brother bc she said i kept talking to myself so that alone should answer your question. i still talk to myself actually LMAO. but i was quietly chaotic. i didn’t like talking to people but around ppl im comfortable with im a whole extrovert

favorite subject in school? ➜ social studies & science

least favorite subject? ➜ math.

what’s your best character trait? ➜ i’m super empathetic, it’s kinda bad for me but it’s good for others haha

what’s your worst character trait? ➜ i get angry over nothing very quickly

if you could change any detail about your day right now, what would it be? ➜ i wish i was tearing down some dominos cheesy bread rn

if you could travel in time, who would you like to meet? ➜ michael jackson!! i wish i could’ve gone to one of his concerts before he died tbh

recommend one of your favorite fanfics (spread the love): ➜ omg i have a few but the way to his heart is by far MY FAV series!!! i always recommend it. angie truly did her thing with this!

no pressure tags! @lov3yv4mps @desirehorizon @everyonewooeverywhere @rvereri and anyone else who wants to do it!

[afterhourswjay]

HI JAY! Ive been sick for like a week now so it got me wondering... how would Thoma Ayato Itto and wanderer take care of the reader when they are sick? (SFW, HEADCANON) I NEED THE MALEWIFE OR DOTING PARTNER ENERGY 😞😞😞😞❤️❤️❤️

Howdy, Kichi!! That sounds like it sucks! I'm also really, REALLY, sorry for how late this is!! I haven't had the motivation to write as of late (・・；) I've also been kinda sick myself

Drown in soup, but not literally

the reader is sick, and requires bedrest to get better. how does their partner help them out??

characters: Thoma, Ayato, Itto, and Wanderer warnings:

Thoma

goes full nurse on you

when he hears that your not feeling well, he immediately ushers you off to bed. you don't need to worry about any of your obligations, as he'll make sure to take care of them to the best of his ability

if you're sick with the flu, then he's making sure that your keeping food and fluids down

if you got a simple head cold, then he's not nearly as worried which is saying a lot

he really loves you and doesn't like the fact that theres only so much he can do to help you feel better

he gets really scared if your unable to keep stuff in your stomach

i feel like you'd be pretty good friends with ayato and ayaka, so they'd be more than willing to contact some of the best doctors on your behalf for some of the best medicine they can afford

ngl, he's super worried about you

if he notices your uncomfortable, tired, or really anything other than rested and comfortable, he'll try his best to help you out

do you need more pillows or blankets? are you hungry or thirsty? are you bored, perhaps??

makes you the best meal when your finally feeling better

probably takes you out for an evening walk as well, since you haven't really been moving while sick

definitely hovers around you a lot more for about a week or 2 after you've recovered before he eases up

he knows that getting sick is just part of life, and that it happens to everyone, but that doesn't mean he won't still worry about you

Kamisato Ayato

ngl, i feel like his attention is already split between all his responsibilities that he doesn't notice you feeling unwell at first

once he does notice, however, than he's ushering you off to rest for the time being

he doesn't want to see you trying to do any work until your feeling well

you two have been living together as a way to make it easier for him to protect you from any attempts at people trying to kidnap you for ransom

has the staff bring you anything you may need on days where he's particularly busy

he's not the best cook, either, so he has his staff cook the best foods for someone whos feeling under the weather

spends any of his spare time in your room with you

some times he'll even bring his paperwork in with him so that he can spend time with you but also get some stuff done hint: hes too worried about you to work on his stuff

your condition worsens into the flu before you start getting better

by the time your feeling better, you've pretty much got a mountain of blankets and pillows on your bed

he asks you what you want to eat a day or so after confirming with a doctor that you are officially recovered

Arataki Itto

you were taking a couple days off from taking commissions from the adventurers guild, deciding to spend it with your boyfriend arataki itto

the two of you were running around the whole of inazuma, collecting lavender melons and catching onikabuto beetles

you and itto had gotten caught in a downpour, having to book it across the beach to some makeshift and rather run down huts

why the two of you chose to come to koseki village, you'll never know

but, after the downpour passes, you two head back to your waverider and then back to inazuma city

wet clothes forgotten about due to the rest of the arataki gang having gotten into a little trouble with the guards, you proceed to talk to them while kuki shinobu chews out everyone

eventually, like. close to sundown, your able to make your way to your home to change out of your still damp clothes

you catch a cold the day after, having full body shivers

with practically no word from you for a few days has the whole gang worried for your wellbeing, and they practically break into your home

when you wake up, all bleary eyed from sleep, your met with the group surrounding your bed

after explaining you just have the chills, and are fine for the most part, the most of them leave to go do what they do most days

however, itto sticks around, keeping you company

he does also apologize for the fact that you got caught in the rain a few days ago

you immediately tell him that he has nothing to be sorry about, unless he can control the weather and intentionally made it downpour on the two of you

you then get out of bed, giving him a hug, and then meander off to your kitchen, asking him to help you make some soup

Wanderer

whenever you start being sucked down by depression, you tend to push yourself to work harder

and, often times, this leads you to neglecting your own needs

he may not be the best boyfriend, what with having to sort through his past and his feelings, but he does try his best

he's also hella observant. while he may not comment on everything, hardly anything is able to get past him

so, he makes a mental note every time you add another commission onto your growing list of commissions

he starts to grow annoyed with you when, instead of stopping to take a break for lunch that, you decide to just eat lunch on the way to your next commission

you don't really know what you did to upset him, but kuni seems to start making what your brain interprets as snide comments towards you sometimes

it isn't until your body decides to rebel against you and you fall sick when you realize that he wasn't really making snide comments towards you, thats just how your tired brain interpreted it

he was trying to warn you about pushing yourself to do more than what your body could handle

kuni doesn't really let you do anything until your recovered from being sick

he puts you back on a proper schedule, making sure you get 3 meals a day, all easy on your stomach as to not make you feel worse than you likely already are

he also puts you on a proper sleep schedule, making sure you get between 8-10 hours of sleep a night

kuni's surprisingly nice while your sick. he knows how much more sensitive you are to his usual comments during times like these so he saves the lectures for when your back to feeling 100% better

its ok, tho. he's back to being mean, and more than makes up for it by basically dragging you all over sumeru and inazuma for ascension materials

[shootingsun]

pllsss tell me abt ur interpretation of A pls ty

HI YES I WILL DO THAT (this post is long and I am willing to rant more if I must)

Under the cut!!

Okay so A's real/true name was Aren Cadmus (because I think it's a pretty name and that is enough reasoning) - he knew his own name but never really talked about it to anyone but B, and that is what I shall refer to him as in this post along with A.

He was born on the 26th of September and was 19 when he died.

Backstory plot thing:

Before B came to the orphanage, A was the golden child of the orphanage, sweet, polite, respectful etc. Actually, Beyond didn't like him at first! Is this because he considered A to be a lost cause due to his short lifespan? Yes. But also because he thought Aren was too boring for him. But A thought that B was interesting and cool and did want to be his friend. They became friends eventually though, through the fun little thing we call the Power of Incredible Violence.

When they were both 9, B tried to run away from the orphanage in the middle of the night. He then ended up cornered in an alley in the small town nearby by someone with v obvious malicious intent. (This person had a very short lifespan, B noted at the time). Beyond was gonna fight back when they attempted to hurt him, but there was actually no need to because here comes Aren with a stick to beat the shit out of the attacker. Like, beat them into unconsciousness as they bleed out on the floor. Even at this time, B was not exactly Normal (TM) and was not scared in the slightest, infact he was a little bit like ":0, I thought u were basic but I guess I was wrong??". He then decides that this person is now going to be HIS person and that they can commit crimes together. It's a very good bonding activity :D. (Did the attacker bleed out and die? ...maybe, if they did, A didn't know).

Aren was totally down for violence and other sketchy things, it's just that he lied about it. B respected his commitment to his 'I'm a good person who most definitely wouldn't commit aggravated assualt' act. A was very pleased that he had made a friend who he didn't have to constantly lie about his moral compass to. It worked out for both of them :D. Also all of the teachers/adults were scared shitless because the seemingly sane one was now hanging out with with the kid who would shove children down the stairs in order to get to his monthly Akazukin Chacha manga delivery the minute it arrived. Aren liked that B didn't hide his darker tendencies, he really envied it sometimes. They became a chaos duo that may or may not stab you if you talked smack about the other.

Still plot but not exactly backstory:

It took them around a year of annoying every adult in the place but eventually A and BB got to share a room. A's favorite child was Linda because they both liked art and also because she wasn't a threat to his Sucessorship thing. He didn't care as much about being L as B did but he wasn't dispassionate about it or anything, he just tried not to make it his whole life (and failed miserably). He was never actually diagnosed with anything but he was Autistic (every Wammy kid is). Aren was told that he was gonna be L's sucessor when he was 13, but they had planned for him to be a successor earlier than that.

Also him and Beyond were kinda partners but also maybe not because nobody actually knew except for them what they were and they never told anyone. (I think it was romantic, but I'm open to anything as long as they were close ngl)

A was really good at drawing, he had sketchbooks and stuff. Really big on semi-realism but also liked to do abstract art on bad days. He liked to have B model for him, Aren liked to draw people, Beyond liked attention, it made both of them happy. These sketchbooks were hidden in the floorboards of his room and have pages missing from where Beyond ripped out all the pictures of himself after A died.

Aren had a lot of practical knowledge, but also wanted to kill himself during exam times and couldn't for the life of him figure out how to revise. Most of his high grades came from coursework and debates he had in lessons.

Swivel chairs were his favorite kind of chair, he always sat in one if he was actually working. In the library, he would be willing to start a fist fight as long as it meant he got the swivel chair.

He stopped trying to hide how much he hated everyone around a year before his death. A just really stopped caring. Because Gifted child burnout, I don't need to elaborate.

His love languages? BIG BIG BIG ACTS OF SERVICE KIND OF PERSON. If he likes you he will do things for you!! (Like bash a guys head in with a stick). For receiving love language wise... I feel like he likes company. He wants to know that they're there, that they won't abandon him, so I feel like Aren would be into quality time and words of affirmation.

A knew Jujutsu! He was a purple belt at it and would use it for self defense purposes.

Would slide down the staircase of the orphanage and nearly kick people if they were sat on the stairs. Many people would stick near the middle of the stairs because A would give absolutely no warning and just be coming down a massive staircase at high speed about to kick anyone within legs reach for the lols.

"B corrupted you!" "No I corrupted myself, B is my enabler I'll have you know." - Aren Cadmus, 1999

He had a complex about feeling not listened to. A felt like when he talked, nobody actually cared what he was saying and that he couldn't do anything about the way his life was. It was sad.

[niksfics]

↬ FATE

↬ PAIRINGS: kenma x f!reader (side aka rebound mention) miya atsumu x f!reader

↬ WARNINGS: a whole lotta angst, breakup, it’s an online relationship, kenma is cold and hurts ur feelings

↬ SUMMARY: your relationship with kenma really had felt like the last one. He was it, turns out he didn’t have similar feelings.

↬ A/N: alright loves!! This isn’t proofread at all it’s 2 in the morning I’ll edit when I wake up, butttt Thanks to my lovely ex girlfriend you are now being graced with this steaming pile of trash. (Lovely was not meant sarcastically at all she is in fact very lovely.) Ngl almost, if not all of this story is about my relationship with my ex gf. This is how I cope people. ￫ It’s taken me awhile to actually be able to right something that’s why things kinda stopped. Tbh after she broke up with me it’s been very hard for me to write so hopefully this helps! And I hope you enjoy!! I would also just like to say if it feels a lil weird it’s cause these are things I’ve actually written in my notes I tweaked it a little to fit the story but it’s straight from the source 😩

WC | 2.5K

You sighed as you opened your notes app. Your eyes scanning over all of the little facts and quirks he had told you about himself. All the stuff you’d wanted to remember. The stuff that had seemed so important to you before. Now it was meaningless, almost like facts about a stranger. Almost as if you hadn’t spent four months learning about and growing with eachother.

You scrolled down a little bit right under, how his favorite marvel character is Spider-Man and you chewed on your lip. Your fingers hovering above the keyboard on your phone. You looked over the facts again. The things he dislikes and the stuff he adores, the things he likes to collect to the way he feels passionately about a certain topic. You begin to type.

Friday June 25th 2022 12:22 Am

I cried again tonight, because I still love you. It’s been a month and six days since we broke up. It feels like there’s a hole in my chest. You seem to be doing fine though, so I’m happy for you! This is the second time since we’ve broken up that I’ve felt actual physical emotional pain in my chest. Remember when I told you how bad it hurt after we broke up? Remember how you didn’t even ask if I was ok? Didn’t even bother to answer. Do you remember that? I remember. I’ve thought about it every day since. I remember it being so bad I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack. Wasn’t until I’d called tetsu crying that he’d told me it was just emotional and I should probably try to relax.

I read through our old messages. I’ve never wanted something back so bad. Never wanted to beg anyone to stay till now. I wish you loved me like I love you. I wish I hadn’t grown so attached, wish I hadn’t fallen so deeply into love with you. I wish it wasn’t my fault that we broke up. I wish I wasn’t so fucking scared. I wish I was fearless. Wish I could rise into love bravely. I wish I was brave when it came to you. I keep telling myself it was me. It was me not you. You didn’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore and you’re just too nice to say that. So you told me in the only way I could handle. Except you hadn’t used the words you should have. You got bored. We both know it’s true. You were bored of it, and I don’t blame you. I know we’ll never talk again, and part of me is so glad. Another part of me forces myself to read through all our messages though. I wish I could just tell you one last time. I love you.

You sighed saving it before closing out of it. Tears you hadn’t known were falling finally became known to you as they streamed down your cheeks. Your eyes puffy as you wet your lips, the salt of them coating your tongue. You were bitter and so were your tears. I briefly wondered what he was doing right now. Probably playing a video game. You knew his schedule all to well by now. Probably testing out a new game for his stream.

A new set of fresh tears fell as you remembered how you used to call him right before he went on. Being lulled to sleep by his occasionally curses and the clicking oh his controller or his keyboard.

You never expected things to end this way. You really thought he was the last one. Yes it had only been four months, but the way he made you feel. The way that it had felt. It had felt final, and you’d been friends before you even started dating.

You sniffle moving yourself to the kitchen to poor yourself a glass of water as you remembered how nervous you were when you first texted him. You had acumulated quite the crush on him back in high school. As Inarazaki’s manager you were required to go to the games, and even after your team lost you had stuck around. Watched him play and cheered him on. Two weeks later you had begun to text, as friends of course. It wasn’t until four months ago that you’d gotten together.

Your anniversary was only two days prior to your break up. You both had never been one to even care about that stuff. You had agreed early on in the relationship that we wouldn’t do anything due to the distance, and the business of our schedules. You were never one for remembering things like anniversaries anyways.

He really did feel like the one. Sometimes you just know. Sometimes you can just feel it. Like, you know that feeling you get when you know something is off or you know for sure something is about to happen even without being told it’s going to. That’s what it felt like to be with kozume kenma.

You thought you knew, you thought this time, this time its for real. You thought it was finally safe to say, that he was the one. You both had even admitted to looking for each others initials in those stupid soulmate tik tok videos.

You were finally in a mature relationship with someone you could talk about anything to. You had gotten so caught up in it, that you didn’t even see the end creeping up on you.

↝

You’d finally gained the courage to text him again. Unfortunately it was in a drunken daze. Your hands shaking as you fumbled with your phone typing things you’d come to regret in the morning. You’d sent him a series of texts telling him how much you missed him, how you didn’t understand how he was so okay. You had been a wreck that night. One of your friends puking in her toilet as you cried. You were happy of course that he was doing so well, but you’d been a wreck for so long and he hadn’t even changed. You told him you wished you could be okay.

When you’d awoken the next morning hair knotted in a complete mess and wiping drool from your chin your heart had sunk even lower. His response was cold. You knew that kenma could be cold. You knew that it was just who he was, but this particular text had felt so unfeeling and unfamiliar, it was as if he hadn’t even sent it himself. He had only ever talked like this to you once and that was when you first became friends all those years ago.

Kozume ❤️

Hey, it’s okay. And yeah you see what I choose to put up. I could be better. But I choose to stay optimistic and busy. Sorry that things are this way.

You had never seen so many periods in a text before. He only used grammar like that when he was peeved, and maybe you were wrong, maybe he’d done that on purpose, but it had hurt so bad. It had caused an ache so deep in your chest that you weren’t sure if you’d ever even dated him at all.

Yeah.

It was the only thing you could bring yourself to respond back with. How were you supposed to respond to that? You’d stared at it for so long and after you’d sent it you wished you had said more. Wished you would’ve said something more insightful than a simple, heartbroken, “yeah.”

Not too long later there was another ping and you held your breath. His name briefly appearing across your screen.

Yeah. I could be better. But I hope you do well soon. I’m sorry that I can’t really do much to help out

And of course you did the only thing you could do. Deflect. Pretend like you hadn’t said what you’d said not even fourteen hours ago.

No it’s fine. I’m fine. You don’t have to apologize. I’m sorry that you could be doing better.

He left you on seen. You knew you sounded like an asshole. At least to you, you felt like an asshole. Why couldn’t you have come up with something else. Why couldn’t you tell him the truth. Tell him how you felt. Tell him that you didn’t think you should be broken up anymore. That the month long cruel joke was over and you were ready to spend your nights falling asleep to him playing video games again. You didn’t though, and you never would. You’re not brave enough, too prideful to even try.

You swallowed down the bile rising in your throat as you realized even if you did beg him. Begged him to take you back. Tell him that you still love him. You were too late, and you just couldn’t be selfish when it comes to him. He is over you and it was so plainly obvious. You know that deep down. Know that he’s moved on, and it kills you inside. So you did the only thing you could do. Try and put it into words.

So as you lay in bed the warm body you let occupy your space sound asleep beside you, his toned blonde hair tousled slightly and you sighed. Finally away from the shenanigans of your friends you took a deep breath before you closed your eyes.

You opened up your notes app again and scrolled past the last entry. You swallowed again as you blinked the tears out of your eyes. Your thumbs beginning to move before you even gave them permission.

Wednesday June 30th 2022 1:39 Am

Here I am again. Stuck. Stuck in the same place I’ve been for so long. You know, I write so beautifully when I’m broken. I’m most of my best work is written when I’m being torn apart. But I just, I can’t seem to find the words. I can’t seem to put it into a document and turn out little story into a different story to cope. Can’t seem to write it out. Can’t seem to move on.

I hovered over the unfollow button on your page today, to keep myself from scrolling through your things again. To keep myself from getting hurt. So I don’t have to be reminded. I want to delete it. Delete where we officially met. On a chat through my screen. I wanna wipe the messages clean. And I’ve tried. Oh how I’ve tried. But I can’t.

I want to delete our conversations. The hours long talks we had, but then, what happens afterwards? What keeps the memories alive. I’d never been so in love with someone before. I’ve never actually…. Been in love before. I thought I’d been in love, but it didn’t feel like that, and losing them never hurt like this. Losing someone has never hurt this bad before.

I’ve never felt the emptiness you left so deep in my very being with anyone I’ve ever met before. I can’t seem to pull myself together. And it’s pathetic I know. It’s pathetic that I’m still here. In the same place I was a month ago. It’s about to be two months we’ve haven’t been together. I’m hurting. Hurting so bad. It’s painful to look at you.

I haven’t deleted the photos even though I probably should. They’re still tucked away in an album in my camera roll labeled “us <3” the one one I made specially just for you. The way I’d been so excited when I was finally ready to tell my friends. I even have this stupid notes folder from when we were dating where I wrote all the little things about you that I never wanted to forget. I find you so endearing. Everything you do. I just couldn’t help but right it down to keep it safe so it never leaves my mind. So that I never forget. But now, forgetting is all I want to do.

I never thought there’d be a time in my life where I was more emotionally stunted that I normally. So stunted I can’t even put this, our split up, into words. Make it something entertaining for somebody else to read. Write a book about it. My publicist keeps asking when the sequel for my book will be done. I don’t know if it’ll ever be finished. I can’t do the one thing I’ve always been good at. I’m crying as I write this.

And I wish it would just end here in this little notes app. Wish the love would die in here. I always think I’m over you and then I see you again, and nowadays your everywhere. A very big hit and I’m happy for you and your success, but seeing you makes my heart squeeze in my chest.

I think I’m over you until I play that stupid fucking game that causes me to scream at my phone, or my laptop in frustration, but I just can’t seem to delete it because I know it’s something that you love. That show we used to talk about. I know you know which one, I can’t seem to watch it without thinking of what was. You’ve ruined it forever cause now it only reminds me of you. I know you’ll never see this, but I like to imagine you can. That my time for closure has somehow come.

When you told me you were sorry that things were this way, it was a real slap in the face. It stopped my false hope. My wishing. It all came to a halt. I’m glad. Glad that you’re happier. That you’re better without me. But god, now I’m so fucked up and I can’t even talk to you.

You were the only person I had left. The only one who understood me. And now you’re gone. You took a part of me with you that night. A part that I’ll never get back. I should’ve known that you would leave. I’ve never been able to get someone to stay for longer than three to four months.

I thought I could let my guard down though. I thought we were in the clear. I’d thought finally. Finally someone is gonna stay. I thought you were my person. I still think that to this day. I thought we were gonna make it. And now I’m with this guy I don’t even like. He’s not you, he doesn’t act like you. He doesn’t like video games like you do.

He doesn’t talk to me like you do. Like you did. But you know how it ended I don’t need to put it here. Unfortunately I’ll always love you even if you don’t love me. This is so scattered, I’m sorry I couldn’t make you happy.

With that you closed the app and put down your phone. Plugging in it and as it dinged miya atsumu rolled over in his sleep. He reached for you his hands wrapping around your waist to tug you against his strong body.

His gravely voice whispering through sleep, “mmm finally decided to come to bed?” You hum moving an arm under on of his to wrap around his thin waist. “Mhm, thought you might need the company.” You began to draw little shapes and letters against his back as he chuckled, “oh yea? How thoughtful of you princess.”

Suddenly it was quiet and your closed eyes opened to his wide brown ones, his eyebrows furrowing .

“Did you just spell kozume on my back?”

[seedleaflesssapling]

Ver 2.0? Turning Point?

I can't really identify to which point in my life that i started to doubt myself but im pretty sure that it was because of UP. Damn, that school, my uni. It do really have the ability to make you feel small; i was in a disadvantaged side when i entered it, you know. I was acquainted, no we did not really talked one-on-one, but i heard when we did introductions - Pisay, UP High, science comprehensive schools, Xavier University, who wouldn't be intimidated by that when you came from Col. Ruperto Abellon National School (who would know where that is? I was lucky enough for a teacher recognized it and my classmates be like 'ahhhhhh,' .....really?! I dont even know where xavier is, it just sounds cool). Another thing is that, i wasn't a stem shs graduate - a leverage(?) or excuse (?) that i always use for them to know that i am at disadvantaged side here, not their competitor, probably a NOBODY. They, being stem graduates, have capstone projects you never thought that they have at that age, but i would hear them saying that it was publish in this journal (whatever, idk the journals lmao, i dont even understand their studies 2nd lmao, but that was some smart shit you know, a shit that makes me feel pathetic for being too proud of my what? Correlational study from inconsistent surveys?!!! Wtf, wtf, wtf). But it was a very good peer pressure you know, i kinda turned it that way. Being left behind, being on the rock bottom, i have no other place to go but up. It wasn't the goal, like making or taking the top spot, i just need to survive.

Inevitably, the exams came. I had hard time adjusting chem but math was kind to me. Who would have thought that i would get two 1.0 at my math subjects for the first semester, the sem that i thought i would barely pass. I was even a CS for that sem. Who would have thought? Our first chemical engineering subject that involves computations was on the list the next semester and the first exam, out of 100 i got something like 20ish. WTF. THAT WAS MY FIRST FAILED EXAM. but no, never did cry but tears were flooding inside. So apparently, i have to focus more on this subject and i did. Some were still failing, but i raised my average up. We also had physics, my first ever physics. I really love physics that time or that sir rommel is just a very good professor. I got the highest score on our second LE, everybody else did fail. Small victories. Not that they lose, but i just won. But i heard one time they were talking about me re: passing the physics exam and even getting a high score. They were uhm.. a guy i really look up to cause his good, the other was a girl that idk but i think she didn't like me back then. They were friends but eventually the girl transferred uni because who cares why. i heard the guy saying something like sin.o gid na si franklin nga taas iya score man, maybe even worse than that, i still look up to the guy even until now. But wtf. I really took it in that time, like i wanted to cry but did not. With all that, i got a fair grade at physics. I still got 1.0 at maths that sem and even maintained being on the CS list. S M I L E. BECAUSE WE HAVE A MIDYEAR CLASS. VERY EXHAUSTING FOR SOMEONE WHO DONT WANT ANYTHING BUT JUST ADJUST, SURVIVE, AND FIND MEANING OF BEING A UP STUDENT. It was just one subject and it was math, but i got 2.0?!!! I have no excuse to that, i am very grateful for the family who accommodated me. After midyear class, i did got sick, it sucks, really sucks. I wanted to file an LOA for the next academic year, it is the only thing i can think of for me to go back on track (i haven't said that my parents pushed me to graduate with latin honor and i wanted to also for my resume to look good because everything else in me is effed up). I really wanted to pause and be free for a while but i also wanted to graduate on time (mostly because i want to give the bitches who dared to have expectations be put on my shoulders not the satisfaction, but the audacity to tell them 'i aint did it for ya') so i asked mama. THANK GOD, SHE DID SAY NA KUNG ANO LANG KAYA MO, AMO LANG DA IH 😭😭🤧🤧 so i enrolled, but went to school late, haven't attended the school opening but all is good. I did kind of reset, just enough for me to face school again.

Second year, it was fucked. I did really love coding on octave and doing sheets at ms excel though. On that year, we have formed the che 103 bagsak group. Together with two of my classmates on 103 and math 55, we became buddies after failing che 103 on the first LE, another 30 over 100 exam hahahahaha. We made bawi just enough for us to pass the subject hahahahahuhu. I have thermodynamics sub, i barely pass. Thank G na wala ko nag removal. If ever i did, i am so sure that i wont make it. My GWA for that sem was not enough for me to be a CS. Who cares? I still did, actually but mama was never been too pushy since then, even since after midyear, after getting that 2.0 grade from the only subject i am good at. Btw, my math 55 for first sem, second year, was 1.25. Not a 1.0 but still, it's good. Second semester that year was when pandemic hit so there's nothing much to tell. I was, sorry but i was really, glad to be away from school for a while, not until for a while became forever. Virtual university set-up was very hard. With too much from taking in whatever i see and hear on my surroundings, even just at home, everything is difficult. It is very hard to find motivation and discipline in studying when i was surrounded with people who do nothing. Even to this point i am writing, everyday is like a battle, but is mostly an internal one. Self vs self, a war no one knows who will win. So the confidence, the tower of knowledge i did build, exponentially went down. I did really well when i was in grade 10, i did my best that time and it can be seen at the achievements i had that year. Being consistently on top 1 the whole year, placing second on division MMC (even getting the highest score on the written elimination round for the whole cluster), doing well sa physics under maam andico, placings on cluster journalism competitions - it was like a record best, best record (?) Whatever. But it wasn't enough you know, i eventually came fourth like wtf. I had read from somewhere Newton saying like the two years when he did write the three laws of motion and the calculus stuff were the two best years of his life, and it kept me thinking that what if mine already passed? That it was when i was in high school?

But, back when i was in school, every time that i was belittling myself or even at random times that i would feel nervous for nothing, my classmates and close friends would say na:

Uno mo man ang Math, uno mo na na (it was a one or two time thing, what if chamba lang to???)

Ikaw man highest sa first le sa thermo (it was really an absolutely one time thing, i barely passed that sub)

Alam ka man sa physics (i was just invested on physics and maybe nachambahan lang na ang ginpractice ko solve kay parallel sa exam ni sir)

Alam ka, d ka lang confident (OKAY???!)

I was ignoring those shit cause who cares if i did really good that time. Yeah, it felt good but it wasn't fulfilling. Satisfied but not happy. But with recent events, i think i would be changing. This post will be a written contract that i will push to be better, to start trusting myself, and build that confidence glow behind me; to believe that i am bright and i can hack it, whatever it may be.

For coherence, i would itemize na lang all of the events that brought me to epiphany lol

It was Friday, 17 Sep, when Dean, in our plant design subject, gave an activity for us - to come up with solutions that would address problems he presented. 1 off grid island community (either you address the water, electricity, and phone reception/signal problem under a 100k budget) and 2 vinegar packaging with a 500 mL volume and should cost less than the cost of vinegar. The due's on Monday, 20 Sep. The challenge is that you should come up with an idea that is not the same with those who already turned in their proposed solutions. I haven't turned in mine until Sunday afternoon. We are 23 in class, hence there should be 23 proposed solutions for each problem. However, only 20 or 21 turned in their solutions and as a student who decided to do it three days after the sheet was given, i was at the second to the last of the entries hahaha. I have limited choice since a lot have been proposed. And ngl, i did entered my idea for the first problem at Sunday evening and for the second problem it was on the afternoon of the next day. Those were basic solutions cause who am I? Am just your basic guy.

Tuesday, 21 Sep (#NeverForget #NeverAgain), class again for plant design (PD). Dean discussed stuffs which im ngl, i did not listen because im bored (not until he said 'we'll have a 5-min break and we'll have a quiz after that' like wtf, how will we do our quiz???!). After the short break, I did study cause i panicked as hell, he presented the prospects of the course, that we will be divided in groups and that the leaders were chosen based on the solutions they turned in the activity previously given. So there's no quiz, i was calm the whole time after that until my name was called. Like wtf??! Your basic guy will be a leader???! Hello!!! So i chat people, asked them if it was a good thing (course it was!!!? So dumb right?!). And then, i asked another leader and she agreed to my argument that we should only be divided into six instead of seven as what dean has decided. So i chatted dean (pic below). I just accepted the role half-heartedly.

As leaders, we should be hiring people for our team and we should make pubs. I dont have a canva account to help me do pubs. I made mine at MS ppt HAHAHAHAHAHA but im good so its cute. We were assigned with projects and i get to have the 4-member team. The vacant roles were project maven and liaison officer for a 3-member team. In my pubs, i included scrummaster as position to be filled, cause who am i to lead?! So yeah, that's it. I did the pubs Wednesday and I submitted my resume Thursday (third to the last hahahaha but my resume's cute hahaha).

Thursday. So i had this invite by a classmate to join the Shell event long time ago. He was reaching out for someone to ask Dean for his approval because Dean did not replied to the email he sent. So, i volunteered. I really want this competition cause this will be my first and maybe last competition as a UP student. So i DMed dean and blah blah blah he asked for selection process. I relayed the message and apologize to them for being me because i was thinking that it was me who made him come up with the decision of having the team be selected. Like, wtf i was just asking for his approval. Getting kicked out of the team was not my intention. Those whom i chatted that night were telling me that it wasn't my fault blah blah blah. So i half-heartedly agreed to them.

Friday came, yesterday, the interview. I am very anxious for someone who will be the one asking the applicants lmao. I already have been interviewed before for college applications and somehow remember the feeling, nerve wracking, whatever. To calm my nerves, i listed questions which i never got to ask properly btw, but at least i have concrete ideas on what to ask. The first interviewee was my very closed friend and so we just laugh and laugh and laugh HAHAHAHAHA. IDK if dean saw it but who cares. And the next and next and next. 3:30 passed by fast and guess what??? YOUR BASIC GUY HAS THE MOST NUMBER OF APPLICANTS TO THE POINT THAT DEAN CUT MY LIST. IT WAS EXHAUSTING BUT VERY FLATTERING. I FEEL SO HONORED. i really thought and very scared at the thought that no one will apply to me but wtf, just wtf. Ranking my applicants was damn hard. 1 i have a dream team but one was cut by dean; 2 this could make my friends mad; 3 this will be the group for the whole year; 4 i am really exhausted. But still, i submitted the list. I was hoping for the people i chose to choose me back. Only two out of three did, i am forever grateful.

Still on Friday, the classmate who invited me to the Shell thing and Dean had a zoom call and discussed about the competition. That classmate told dean what i told him the other day that i might be the reason for the decision of having the selection process done. He told me this through a voice memo, katamad daw magtype. A voice message that i played over and over again. Dean actually find me interesting (?), Invested (?) Idk exactly but the classmate told me na 'may nakikita daw talaga sya sayo. Na grabe ka ka-practical as a person like yung ideas mo daw sa plant design napakasimple lang pero napaka practical to the point daw na madami nag apply sayo kanina. And then, you need more confidence lang daw talaga' so ig, you basic guy is a practical guy now. It's just flattering.

Now, whatever happens, i must meet those expectations right? This could be a lousy motivation but what is if there's none? I dont know why im writing this. I just thought i should get my thoughts out. Ver 2.0? Turning point? Let's just do good 😌

PS I put this on my bio on FB, guess im getting more public, and if you happened to read this because you saw the link on my bio, send me a message about you thoughts.

PPS if your initials are JTZC, these have been my week and i miss you even though you're not interested in me anymore, you are hard to forget

[earthbovndmisfit]

I hope this isn't too weird of a message to send, but doesn't it seem like Jonawagon doujinshi are pretty uncommon? I've only seen maybe 3 posted online & I have a copy of a SpeedJona doujin but aside from those I haven't come across any. Is it like a rare pairing or something? I thought they were fairly popular

It isn’t weird at all, anon! All the opposite actually, cause I love getting asks even if i'm not always around or it sometimes takes me a hot minute to get to them gfjhkjh

This is gonna be long and probs gonna have bits that might sound rant-ish to some, but I hope that’s alright! :'D

For starters, sadly, jonawagon/jonaspeed/speedjona or however you call the ship is quite an underrated ship. This has to do partly with the wrong perceptions some folks have built around it and around the characters as well (that them both and the couple itself are the epitome of "purity" and "innocence", sometimes even labelling them as "boring" as a result even though both characters are far from that, that "it could only be a one-sided thing" on Spw's end despite both showing and sharing a certain bond/closeness towards each other -closeness that sometimes Jonathan didn't show towards anyone else-, etc), partly because of the many timeskips in PB and all the scenes the anime cut out and people wrongly assuming that the main events happened in the span of a few days and thus people dropping the ball on the ship/characters when Jonathan and Speedwagon actually knew each other for as long -sometimes even longer- than other more popular characters/ships in jjba did, partly because neither Jonathan or Speedwagon are as popular as other characters in the franchise as a whole, and also partly because, as sad as it is to say this, the ship lacks a LOT of support, especially from it's own fanbase. While jonawagon is a popular and well liked ship overall (in the sense that even general fans who don't care much about shipping, or those who are still on the fence about mlm ships, or those who just don't actively ship jonawagon actually like and support the ship or the idea of it upon seeing the actual dynamics between the characters and their potential and the fact that the ship can actually coexist with jonaeri without altering the characters/making them ooc, nor altering the story and so on), it still lacks a lot of support from it's fans. I often see most other ships/characters get lots of reblogs and exposure from their fans on literally any and all platforms, helping those ships/characters reach new audiences and gaining more popularity and drawing interest from potential new fans, while jonawagon stuff as well as solo Jonathan or Speedwagon stuff usually only get likes and a few reblogs at most from their fans, which is nice and all, but it doesn't give the artists/writers any exposure nor get those works or the ship any farther than that and just keeps them within part of the already existing fanbase at best, which often times makes the artists/content creators lose interest in continuing to create stuff for the ship/characters. This is also why I always strongly ask -almost beg at this point ngl- for people to support the artists/writers/etc via reblogs!! The ship having a bunch of different names also might have an impact on all of this, as it's not always as 'easy' to tag/find contents if you don't know how to tag/search for it. Jonawagon (normally used in the western parts of the fandom), JonaSpeed/SpeedJona (Western version of the ship's most popular names in Japanese: ジョナスピ/スピジョナ or JonaSupi/SupiJona respectively], SpeedStar (a name that became a bit more popular more recently after a mini jonawagon event in 2019), being the most common ones afaik, asides from the standard JonathanxSpeedwagon/SpeedwagonxJonathan ie and others. In short, Jonathan and Speedwagon as well as jonawagon are quite well liked and even popular to an extent, but they lack a massive amount of support from the fans, which also usually translates into artists and content creators for this ship losing interest in continuing to create new material for it and thus end up not making any more contents.

In regards to doujinshi more specifically, I’m a bit disconnected when it comes to Jojo doujinshi in general, but it seems to be a bit like that for most of the non "crazy popular" Jojo ships if you ask me, which is kinda normal considering the massive amount of characters in the whole series. Putting my experience as example, if it helps, I used to collect doujinshi from one of my previous fandoms, which had a shit ton of them for plenty of it’s ships and it was somewhat easy to acquire hard copies of despite it being an “old anime” basically while most Jojo doujinshi (especially anything that is not parts 3, 4 and 5) seems to be a bit hard to come across regardless of the ship(s) in them, even in auction sites or places like pixiv that sell digital copies if the author puts them up on sale, which is understandable since the aforementioned parts are some of the most popular parts in Japan, where most doujinshi is created, and thus take most of the fandom's interest -authors’ and readers’ alike-, as well as the hype for parts like Phantom Blood being long dead (with it being dead/dormant since the original airing of the anime ended in 2013, and it coming back ocassionally whenever there's a 'special' re-airing of PB in Japan or when events such as the Joestar Radio take place), so maybe my parameters on the whole subject are somewhat disproportionate?

This is also gonna sound all boomer-like, but I’ve also noticed, or it seems to me at least (still in comparison to the doujinshi from my previous fandom), that doujinshi books as we knew them aren’t /as/ common nowadays as they used to be a while back. Even the works themselves don’t seem to be much that way either. For example, doujinshi anthologies used to be a big thing a while back and, while they still exist, they don’t seem to be too common anymore (these worked as "promo books" of sorts for all the artists featured and they also helped lesser known/popular artists and ships to get some exposure to newer audiences). Nowadays such thing still exists, and I actually recall seeing a Jonaspeed/Speedjona anthology being made “recently” (recently as in 2019, if I’m not mistaken? it was published and sold during the mini Jonaspeed event they held at a Jojo con in Japan that year), but they aren’t nearly as common as they used to be, since now most artists can post any samples they want (much more reduced tho, cause you normally get a few pages instead of a full mini story) in places like Twitter or Pixiv. And it’s kinda the same with regular doujinshi. Before, most doujinkas had to publish a book in order to get their stuff out and get some exposure, so they were always working on new stories and making new books to sell and promoing their stuff, sometimes one after the other and even creating multi-volume stories in some cases. Now, thanks to how "easy" it is to get some exposure on social media, it’s much more common to see doujinkas for any ships/characters making short stories (1-4 pages, sometimes more) or just 1 page illustrations instead and posting them on their social media every now and then as a promo for their works. They also still make and sell their books (a few jonawagon artists on twitter do, at least), and these short stories/illustrations serve to boost their works instead, which is not a complain at all cause I think it's amazing tbqh! But this also translates into less stories/doujinshi being created as many of these artists often opt for leaving those stories that years ago would have been their own book or a mini story in a book as a prompt or a short story only.

As for actual jonawagon doujinshi, while it is not as common as say pt 3 doujinshi, there is quite a bunch of it. Some date from 2012-2013 (when the PB anime was originally aired), some are much older than that and some others are much more recent (as there are still some active jonawagon doujinkas around). There are also "fanfic books" that are also considered doujinshi and that seem to be a thing sometimes, but these contain little to no art at all and are usually written 100% in Japanese. The problem here is that not many of them have been scanlated/translated yet, sometimes because they aren't easy to find on sale online, sometimes because re-sellers who do have them set high prices for them plus shipping costs, sometimes because the artists/online shops won't sell stuff overseas, sometimes because those who do own doujinshi copies don't always know how to properly share them (since scanning a doujinshi in high or decent quality without destroying the book can be hard af) among other reasons.

All that said, there is a bunch of jonawagon doujinshi that has been scanned and is available online! but it can be tricky to get sometimes due to the different names this ship can go by and because of the "translations" of said names into different languages (as some doujinshi can only be found in Chinese sites, or Russian ones, and so on for example, so it can take some serious time to figure that out and have a successful search).

In all honesty, anon, I'm a dumdum and I had never thought about doing so in a more public manner until now, since I've already shared my entire jonawagon collection (pics, doujins, etc) with friends who have requested it more privately, but I can upload the doujins I have scans of if anyone's interested?? (I’d post the links where I found most of them but since my hd is pretty much dead and I can’t access Windows or my windows/mozilla profile, I’ve p much lost all my old bookmarks). They were only like... 8 last time I checked (9/10 if you count the Japanese and English versions of the "Joestarsaaaaan" one), but it's something :D Just be aware that some of them are nsfw! and that a couple are either part of a book that has stories from other ships in them (I only have the jonawagon parts tho) or contain other ships implied or openly shown in the jonawagon story.

I also have about 4 more, but the scanlator of one of them openly requested for the file to not be reuploaded, so Idk if it'd be alright to share it? (and they also deactivated their blog, so there's no way to ask them for permission). The other 3 are scans a friend sent to me of their own doujinshi copies, so I also don't know if it would be okay for me to post them?? (i haven't seen this friend in over a year so idk gfhgjkjlkñ). 2 of those 3 are nsfw.

[lesbiangenkai]

i kick a hornets nest, or: some kurahi thoughts

kurahi is one of those ships i have sort of drifted around and sort of avoided partially through no fault of its own and mostly due to some really bad takes and lots of bad content relating to it but there’s still something about this ship thats kind of interesting to me because its actually really fascinating in how the characters are very similar, can relate to each other and do have chemistry but also there is a very weird disconnect between them throughout the series where they feel like they are simultaneously two people who’ve known each other for a while but actually don’t seem to know each other very well at all, or are for some reason unwilling to know each other deeply.

the two shots story where they first meet is really telling because they become friends based on their emotional connections - not because of power or convenience. hiei only asks kurama his name after he makes maya forget him, because despite wanting emotional connection he feels it’s better if he remains unknown to her. and hiei obviously sees a parallel of himself and how he feels about telling yukina who he is - he cares but also thinks himself unworthy of emotional connection. i think both characters understand this about each other (with kurama maybe being more emotionally aware than hiei at the start, obviously). however this makes his betrayal of hiei at the start of the series seem even more callous. after knowing hiei for a year, and even knowing hiei has someone he cares for, kurama ditches him without much thought and later actively sabotages his plans for yusuke without even trying to vouch for him. i think his decision makes sense - yusuke helped save his mother, hiei is being an ass, and this is still a kurama not fully down with the idea of teamwork or trusting people, but it does suggest a distance you wouldn’t expect from two people who have known each other for that long. and i think it’s that kind of interaction that continues throughout the series that always throws me off about these two. i’m actually never really sure what i’m supposed to feel about their relationship.

in chapter black there’s a specific scene that always stands out to me, the scene where they’re trying to get hiei to come to the mansion to save yusuke. hiei is throwing out his usual attitude of ‘whats in it for me’ even though at this point, the audience has caught on that it’s mostly transparent and he does care to help. however instead of just letting hiei have his tantrum and trusting him to do the right thing (it is yusuke after all, as if hiei would let anything happen to him) kurama tries to (unsuccessfully) manipulate him into going. it’s not malicious, and again, his choice here makes sense, but this interaction doesn’t speak of two people who intimately trust each other. kurama comes off as cold, even. it’s just really jarring especially when the anime adds a bunch of light hearted banter between them, im assuming to let the pair ride along on subtext but it just makes moments like this really awkward.

& honestly i think leaning into the awkwardness of them actually dating would be kinda funny but ultimately pretty boring and unsatisfying because it’s sorta like a staring contest where neither person wants to blink first. i think i’ve said before i imagine a date between these two to be them in a room where they are each just doing their own thing and not speaking to each other which can be fine to a point but eventually i just have a million questions like does hiei, who is known to communicate emotionally through physicality/violence (see: the fights w yusuke and mukuro) have the patience to deal with kurama wanting to talk about his guilt for 6 hours or would he be like ‘well let’s just fight in the woods for 20 minutes and you’ll feel better, idiot’. at some point hiei would have to relent and be vulnerable despite fearing rejection and kurama’s going to have to submit to the mortifying idea of Being Known but it’s hard when one person is hiding under layers of pride and ego to avoid that rejection and the other is too busy also hiding under several carefully constructed masks because they think they don’t deserve affection. either one of them could be capable of making the first step but that can only happen if one person is open to receiving the olive branch and...neither comes off as willing to do that, at least during the series. i think it’s actually more interesting as a complete mess like this, where they both make missteps and the relationship ultimately doesn’t work out but the first steps towards actively trying to be in one are explored. i’d actually say it fits in better with the narrative like this given how the series ends rather than the ship just sort of. being there and existing without examining all this stuff.    

really that’s the most frustrating thing to me about this pairing because, despite a lot of this pairing gaining popularity on its subtext, i think it ultimately works against it when there’s so many things that you’d like to see addressed in...actual text. how would they work through their emotional issues? the closest we see is when kurama kills amanuma, hiei basically tells yusuke to leave kurama be and he’ll sort himself out - although its revealed not five minutes later kurama is actually not sorted out, he’s devastated, and is just sitting on layers of guilt he needs to talk about. you don’t get to see if hiei’s just trying to help kurama save face, if he buys into kurama’s stoic facade, or if he realizes how kurama feels but just prefers not to pry. (ffs itsuki of all people gets a monologue about kurama’s emotional state after all that and not hiei. ITSUKI.) how would they deal with their living situations? these are two characters not even willing to live in the same world as each other, and even a situation where hiei is frequenting the human world there’s a very big difference between hanging around when he feels like it and being committed to playing house the way kurama wants to. and i'm ngl, it doesnt seem very likely that hiei would be ready or willing to do that.

at the end of the day i know its all just very lackluster because togashi doesn’t seem to give a shit about actually writing romance and his reaction to this pairing when someone brought it up was just as lackluster “oh yeah i guess i could’ve done that oh well”. and the anime threw everyone a bone but didn’t really commit but it’s still interesting to think about and fic exploring these hurdles could be interesting for sure (and i mean like...actually dealing with them not ‘well kurama’s waiting for his mom to die to bounce this solves everything’) but i also sort of just think of them just being okay as like...two dummies who maybe tried to make this happen and it just didn’t, and now hiei’s just the ex that shows up at kurama’s occasionally to sneer at his choice in neckties. 

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

Oh! I wanna hear your hyper critical opinions towards p3 (and p4 if youre up to it). I am genuinely curious as to what it is!

pDSOAPFADFJIOA;FJIA;JF;DA Ahhhhhhh if only I wrote down everything I said (I did this over a year ago). under the cut cause long:

It was easier cause I was ripping it as we played and I had some nitpicks in the dialogue (more so with like “WAIT THAT MAKES NO SENSE!” or “WHY ARE YOU JUMPING TO THAT CONCLUSION?!” kinda thing rather than a translation error). But I can’t really specify what it was cause it was so long ago. The only one that comes to mind is when they’re jerks to Naoto, it must be how she’s talking in Japan cause like.......they’re really, REALLY rude to her. Like, they do realize she has a right to be suspicious of them right? Like, don’t get me wrong, I loooooooove the animosity in some way (great foe-yay/rival shipping yay fodder for me to ship her with the MC ahuhuhu 8U) but dang I wish they made more tension (and made it even). That’s actually the one thing I thought the P4 anime did right (and trust me I don’t think that anime did a lot of things right, esp concerning Naoto...ironically XD), they really built the tension between her and the group very well. Anyway I want to go into more detail some other time, maybe when I replay the two games, but for now I’ll give you a general overview). 

Ok so all and all I think P3 and P4 are fine the way they are. They did a good job with them. P3 for being Hashino’s first hoorah into the series (also didn’t have enough time or money to include everything and had to cut stuff, LIKE THE FEMC! ;W;), and P4 for.....having such....a small.....budget....and....not a lot of time....and.....the company was struggling.....Like dang man I’m surprised we got P4. So like, compared to P5, I’m a lot easier on these two cause in one case Hashino was trying to find his style, and the other he was struggling with working with almost nothing (P5, however, didn’t have any of these issues).

Ok so like.....My biggest issue with P3 is mostly it’s characters and character relationships. P4.....I wish we could’ve hung out with Naoto earlier (even before she joined the team, that would’ve been interesting if the MC and her met up and attempted to draw more info out of each other about the case), and I wouldn’t have minded if they added more to the murder plot. 

P3....ngl the first act until Aigis show’s up is.....so....slow.....and boring....and no one is really likeable imo. I hated Yukari, I hated Junpei. Mitsuru seemed interesting but she wouldn’t hang out. Akihiko....didn’t really care for him, but I couldn’t  hang out with him. I couldn’t hang out with Yukari or Junpei if I wanted to (Yukari won’t hang out till around Aigis joins anyway, I remember from my last playthrough we tried, it was an NG+ and she snubbed us). Kenji is a moron (don’t hate him, feel bad for him, but god so boring), Kaz is a moron, didn’t do Yuko the first time (should’ve I did like her, hate I only got the first rank the first time I ever played through P3), I didn’t like Chihiro (she started off fine but was kinda creepy later on), can’t hang with Fuuka unless you have maxed courage cause eff me (not like I can ever remember her gd link anyways that’s how forgettable it is, I don’t even like Yukari but at least I remember her’s). Basically......the SL sucked balls. Major balls (I liked Maiko, the Star dude, the old couple, the Hermit, and the Devil......I guess the Tower too he was ok, and....that’s it....for outside teammate links aka Aigis and Mitsuru). Silly was not a happy camper when she popped P3 in after having fun with P4 (and esp after being told P3 was a GAZZILLION TIMES BETTER!!!!1!), tbh I took like a 4 month break from P3 and replayed P4 before I picked P3 back up (after Aigis showed up I def enjoyed it a heck of a lot more after that). Now, P3′s plot is really good and very solid, it’s P3′s strong point. My issue is that.....everything P3 does is for the sake of the plot. It does it well, don’t get me wrong, but everything about the characters is only happening cause “plot demands it.” They never felt super fleshed out, and it’s probably why they feel a little odd (maybe even flat-ish) in the spinoff games (even more so than the P4 team), cause the spinoff games aren’t relying on their (P3′s) plot. I also don’t buy a lot of their friendships (esp the males teammates with the Male MC), Yukari and Mitsuru’s is....ok (I don’t like how the game makes it feel like “oh you have a dead dad? me too! let’s be friends” as a thing, I know she’s just trying to relate and sympathize but.....I’ve seen that as a complaint come up by a lot of people, for someone so popular Yukari isn’t much of a people person in this regard, from how the game frames it that is). Also the fact you can’t friend girls. There’s not a lot of bonding moments in the game, there’s more than P5, but I still don’t feel as close to the team as I should even by the end. And gawd, Ryoji? Wut I’m friends with him now? How? When? I like the guy but I don’t think he likes me. You’d think he’d want to hang out with me cause.....PHAROS! ;W;

There’s more but I don’t want to leave you hanging, but anyway it’s just....I have a lot of issues with how the characters are handled. They’re good characters, I wish there just....more to them. But the thing is.....THIS IS AN EASY FIX! You’ve probably heard me say about the P5 manga/anime “a change in medium can do wonders” or something like that. That’s cause I have P3 to look at. The manga and movies do wonders for P3 my problems with P3. There’s more bonding, character relationships are improved yadda yadda. Yes there are issues within the manga and movies themselves...... but they do a lot of good things too. One of the things the movies did was actually......influenced by it’s P3P remake (aka establish a relationship with Ryoji, yay!). Oh man, P3P/the FeMC fixed sooooooooooooo many problems (it also added some even more awesome duality to a game that already had a lot of duality going on with it), I can talk to Yukari and Junpei from the get go (and they treat me different, and more pleasantly than when I played as the dude), I can actually hang out with the guys (and I DON’T automatically have to date them, in fact I have to work to date them, every single one), the stats for character requirements are laid out more fairly like in P4 so by the time someone is available I can probably talk to them (without having to kill myself trying to manage my social stats).But man, the first act just flows so much better when you’re able to bond with your teammates (also Rio and Saori are great SLs!). Even tho they don’t change the female SLs pretty much at all (making it veeeery gay XD), it does feel like it is at least a friendship by the end (even tho I’m literally dating everyone and you can’t tell me otherwise! 8U). I also love her personality comes across more clearing (and varied) than the males, there’s a more clear progression of her psyche than her male counterpart (it’s still there, just not as obvious, and I love how they’re inverted to each other~! :D). It’s just, with P3, the really minor changes go a LOOOOOOOOOOONG way. The only thing I would change with P3 is the minor stuff. Just add more scenes (that don’t take up time) to the game, on both sides. Gameplay wise add more SLs, alternative SLs even. Heck, if they remade the game, I think being able to go to new places would be cool (and it’d be where you’d meet your new SLs) cause man you’re in a city, you deserve to do more stuff! It’s just the little things man, the little things can make a big impact! It says something that probably my fav Persona fanfic and fav Strain42 Persona parody comicis the P3(P) ones, even tho P4 is my fav game. You change a few things around, even the medium, and it makes a difference. 

Ok onto P4. Now P4 is the opposite of P3, with P4 it’s strong point is it’s characters. The characters drive P4. P4 is character based, P3 is plot based. P4 the plot takes a back seat. This is fine, it works in P4′s favor, like how the plot worked in P3′s favor. P4′s plot is ok, it does a great job with supporting the characters. Sadly I understand if you wanted more murder mystery (or just mystery) in a murder mystery game. And in P4′s defense, again, it had a barebones budget and not a lot of time and the company was doing pretty bad and P4 still came out pretty great (was the most popular before P5 came out, lord knows if it may even come out on top again if it gets an updated graphics/gameplay remake). And it’s also really hard to keep a murder mystery going for about 70-100ish hours (and only finally solving it in the last 1/5 of the game). Also P4, like P3 (forgot to mention that above), sticks to it’s theme really well. Even making it solving it/obtaining the good ending routes semi-difficult. Sure you can deduce Adachi, but tbh it’s also difficult. They do a pretty decent job building the guy up as a friend (even more so in P4G due to the SL). Izanami is also well hidden. The game makes you work and it rewards you.

Now if I were to change stuff.....it’d range from minor to major depending on what we’re talking about. Minor would be adding more scenes of Naoto bonding (she needs it cause the late game doesn’t do her justice), and like I mentioned above, I think have a deduction off would be interesting (Naoto’s SL was one of my favs cause of how we solved a gd mystery, god I’m so mad that never made it into the anime, even as an ova, it could’ve been a great team-building filler one too). Another thing I’d add would maybe be.....something similar to quests, but instead you have to solve a mystery (which means talking to people, and investigating areas), it can range from finding a cat in a tree or finding a bully or whatever. Just something minor that can give the mystery lovers something fun to do. I’d also have Izanami/gas station attendant be an SL (she originally was the Empress before giving that to Margret). Oh I’d also like to take Margret out on “dates” (c’mon gimme dem fun shenanigans).  And.....now this can be minor or major (depending on what they do, but it’s probably more major), add another red herring. I don’t care how.....but....it would help draw attention away from Adachi. Maybe they’re added from some of the mini mysteries you solved, maybe they squeeze an extra dungeon into the game some how-some way (doubt it for the later, that’d be a major change), but another red herring would be good. 

For a Major change it’d be restructuring the plot a looooooot, adding more dungeons for more red herrings. I would actually make Dojima a red herring. He originally was suppose to be the killer (but they thought that was too dark, understandable), with Adachi as the red herring instead. Other than that I’m not exactly sure how they’d overhaul that. I mean, if they made a P4 game based off of P3P’s route (aka different route/game, different killer), I’d like to see their prototype stuff play out. Short-haired ice queen Yukiko, delinquent/bully Rise, Pretty boy Naoto (actual boy this time, also make him dateable.....what? I like Naoto 8U), 1st year MC, Female Teddie, Adult(?) Kanji, Dojima as the killer, Adachi as the red herring (Chie and Yosuke are actually pretty much the same). I’d really like to see that. 

But tbh, I don’t really know where to start in giving P4 a major overhaul (except to go with the prototype set up), possibly cause it’d mean introducing/creating new characters. But P5? I do, oh man I know where I would start (P5 is where I’d make my major changes left and right, no minor changes here...except maybe dungeon 1), I’d make soooooo many changes to P5. But that’s for another time (not now, it’d take too long). 8U