#(no i have not reached this part of tos either. but its spock and kirk. it doesnt matter)

[moonlit-orchid]

A spock

A kirk

Now

KISSSSSS-

[greenroseunderglass]

To Your Hands : Fanfic - Star Trek TOS (Gen)

@sicktember2021

@sicktember

Prompt# 14 - Aches and Pains

Summary: Jim Kirk rescues himself from a hostage situation, of course, but he doesn't do it unscathed. His friends want to catch him even if he refuses to fall.

2 Parts: Bones and Spock

Bones

They had been taken after a pitched battle in the transporter-shielded Hall of Commerce, Kirk and five junior officers from security, and one aide from the Federation Ambassador's party. They had been held three nights and well into the fourth day before Kirk led their escape into an absolute deluge. There had been so much communications interference, natural and man-made, Spock never should have beamed them aboard, not from a planet of shapeshifters, but something had made him certain of their identities, and they'd avoided imminent capture for the familiar corridors of the Enterprise. With a thousand things to do, Kirk hadn't been the most cooperative patient until Bones had nearly shouted him down in front of the main ward in Sickbay. He'd gone with what grace he could still find after that. Kirk would have admitted only if asked twice that he did feel better once he let himself change into soft, dry sweats and the nurses put warm re-hydrating fluid into his arm. But then, it took Bones about seven seconds to be back over once that was set up, so he didn’t get to enjoy the simple pleasure of it for long. McCoy was a healer, though, a real doctor when he had a real patient. Once Kirk stopped resisting he slowed down, his grumbles softening, his voice finding a quieter, deeper register that radiated authority and safety in a way that affected even someone as familiar with him as Jim Kirk. The doctor went over Kirk with his big, warm hands after he stopped whirring at him with the scanner. He was careful, and thorough. Everything hurt, either when touched or when moved, but those hands left bruises and strains feeling not only cataloged but better somehow as McCoy passed gently over them. Kirk started yawning, though, as McCoy moved over him again, this time with a protoplaser. He made himself go up on his elbows as McCoy reached his shins, and that was the end of the idyll. “You just lie right back down there and go to sleep," McCoy snapped. "All the other hostages are in for a night of observation, and it won’t hurt you for once.” Kirk just yawned again and smiled at him to prompt a suspicious look, because getting Bones annoyed early over nothing in particular was always good tactics. “Oh, I plan on being asleep, soon. I do have some things that have to be done first, though. And-“ "You are not-" Without pause, Kirk repeated himself, enunciating over McCoy’s objection, “And. It will be done sooner if you cooperate. Send Rand and Johann in here, and Sumani. “ He stretched a little and squirmed. “And another couple of pillows, so I can recline in state.” “Back still bothering you?” McCoy asked, small whirring scanner immediately back in his hand. "You never let me spend enough time with the protoplaser when you have deep bruising like this. You must still be sore all over." “Yes," Kirk said dryly. "Every thing I own is bothering me, doctor.” He huffed a laugh, dismissing it. “I am tired, and I've been told sleeping on stone floors is not good for me. But unless you plan on running one of those things over every inch of me at every depth, I think I'll just have to sleep it off.” No, sleeping on cold stone floors was not good for him, McCoy thought, or good for his aching body. Neither was three nights in clammy damp, or an hour getting soaked through during their escape, or the slight fever Kirk was running from the cold he was definitely coming down with. McCoy huffed back at him, frustrated. He would be laughed at if he suggested Kirk spend some time in one of the hot spa baths, and that was really the only prescription he had at the moment, for all his training. He couldn't give any of the hostages much in the way of pharmaceutical pain relief, not after their captors had drugged them so extensively. And Kirk was right, damnit -- he would end up resting more quickly if McCoy let him work unhindered for a little while. The doctor stiffly left the room, but he did grudgingly call the Captain’s yeoman and left her to manage the rest of it. He forbid her from giving Kirk the fresh uniform she turned up

with, but decided to look the other way on the coffee. It took less than an hour after that for Kirk to fight himself free, of the fires in his command and the solicitude of the nurses. He had a lot on his plate in about ten hours, but being involved with a planet with deeply held taboos about actions taken in the night hours, and sitting in geosynchronous orbit above its capital, had its advantages. Caught up and feeling human again, Kirk leaned against McCoy’s office door to wave his way out, but McCoy peremptorily pointed at a seat while finishing a consult with M’Benga. Finally McCoy sat behind his desk and pulled a bottle and two glasses from the cabinet behind him. Kirk took the rich brown liquid he was being offered and breathed deeply over his first sip, settling gingerly back in the hard chair. “Oh, that’s good,” he said, then set it neatly back on the desk to turn his head and sneeze lightly, twice, into the crook of his arm. McCoy tch’ed at him and tossed him a box of sickbay ‘tissues’. “I should have made you a hot toddie, if you’re going to start that. I should put you back on the biobed. ” Jim gave another of his wry, dismissive laughs at that, but his voice was probably more serious than he meant it to be. "You can't confine me for the common cold, Bones, and you can't treat it anyway." "Can't cure it. You've already had a shot to make sure you're not contagious, and one to shorten the duration. There's another one that will help stop inflammation in your sinuses and your chest, but that one makes you sleepy, so you only get that when you're actually leaving." "Which is at the bottom of this glass," Kirk told him. "And yes, I'm actually going to bed." He hesitated, and looked into his drink before taking another sip, then, "They are all going to be all right, Bones?" "Yes," McCoy said simply. "The ambassador's aide--" Kirk held up a finger and raised his voice slightly. "Ambassador Goddard, join us, please." The man had been loitering in the corridor, half eavesdropping and half nervous about disturbing them. He was there for an update on his aide, who was doing well physically but would probably need some trauma counseling. After earlier arguing on the Bridge that the Captain's party not be beamed aboard, citing security risks, Goddard did not feel he should linger around any of the officers at the moment. He drank off his whiskey like a good diplomat and was leaving as quickly as he'd come, but paused to watch when the Captain started to stand also and was pinned back into his chair by a vigorously pointed finger. "You, you wait until called for." Kirk wobbled his head in apparent amusement and eased back down. He saw Goddard watching him and grinned. "Never cross a CMO during a multiple casualty event, ambassador. Rule number three of Captaining a starship." Goddard was a beat slow, but training kicked in and he obligingly asked what the first two rules were. He couldn't believe how lightly Kirk seemed to be taking the whole situation, even his own abduction. He couldn't imagine how to talk to the man about his legitimate concerns, but agreed to join a debriefing at 0800. Kirk was 'called for' minutes later by the formidable First Officer, which made Goddard wish he hadn't dawdled. Spock arrived just as Kirk was saying something about his aide's fortitude during the escape, and Spock apparently took that to mean the ambassador was grilling Kirk. "Surely, gentleman, there is nothing about the hostages' escape or confinement that can't wait until the 0800 debriefing." His voice was even, his face was mild, and Goddard felt a wall of solid dislike hit him like a burst of steam. Vulcans were only touch-telepaths, that couldn't be a real energy he was feeling, but he exercised the better part of valor, made his goodnights, and fled anyway. He caught a glimpse of Kirk glancing after him with a look of surprise as he went. "What did he do?" Kirk asked, sliding to the edge of the chair in preparation to stand as McCoy returned and went to get the hypo on his desk. "I cannot imagine what you

mean, Captain," Spock said evenly, then offered his arm to help Kirk up. He didn't need the help -- he was sore and achy, not impaired -- but he bit down on his pride and accepted it, just to get himself on his feet. Spock needed to feel like he was doing something, too, however small the gestures. McCoy glared at them both and gave Jim the shot in the shoulder. "That's going to be a little sore, sorry, but it'll keep your cold from becoming a misery. Now you just have to get him to bed before he starts tipping over," he addressed Spock. Anger flashed and was forcibly cooled in Kirk's mind. On a normal day the two of them thought he needed a keeper, but this wasn't a normal day, and he had no right to the familiar annoyance. He'd been lost to them for almost ninety hours this time. As his friends, they had a right to manage him a little. He'd keep allowing it. Tonight.

Spock

As he and Spock walked down the corridor, Spock still in possession of his arm, Kirk began to be glad he'd been so high-minded about the whole thing, because he was definitely beginning to sway. In the turbolift he said, "McCoy wasn't kidding about that shot," just as he sneezed and his knees tried to give. Spock moved to catch him more firmly, but Kirk waved him off. "I'm all right. I only have to get to my quarters." His cabin was cozy with two in it, if luxurious for a Starship – he patted Spock away by catching hold of the screen divider and clinging. “Shower first, then bed. Despite McCoy’s solicitous comments, I will actually be all right from here.” He smiled and waved Spock back toward the door. Spock gave ground, but only to the other side of the desk. His expression was determined, yes, but mostly… unimpressed. Kirk surmised he must look about like he felt. Spock could always see through him, anyway. Before he could even plead his case, Spock said calmly, “I am aware that the only active attack on your health at the moment is from a simple cold, which is not a serious affliction. However, the depth of your exhaustion makes any further impairment concerning, and I will not feel I have complied with the Doctor’s orders until I have seen you to proper rest.” Kirk gave him a bit of a side-eye. “You’re going to stay here until I fall asleep, whether I like it or not?” “Might I suggest you allow my assistance in certain matters, strictly for the sake of expediency?” God, he was so, damn, tired. And he had spent three nights as a captive, the better part of four days slightly ill and soundly beaten and responsible for crew and civilian lives despite his helplessness to secure even his own. He had managed to get them all to safety, but he was. He was so tired, and there was a gentleness waiting in Spock’s hands if he would just give in, the expression of feelings his Vulcan friend could never express any other way. And he trusted Spock, didn't he? Spock could take the watch, he could take the burden, for a little while. When his knees wobbled this time Spock caught him and carefully peeled him off the divider to sit him on his bed. A quick hand ran through the hair of his bowed head, a gesture they would both deny. Spock helped him out of everything he could get off while sitting, then went to make sure the water shower was a good temperature. Kirk got a look when he toddled into the bathroom unassisted and naked, but Spock merely reeled him in with one long arm and made sure he was steady in the shower before turning his back to give him privacy. Kirk woke up enough to realize he really was out of it enough to be worrying the Vulcan, and regretted it. No words could fix the situation, either. Spock didn't need reassurances. He just needed to see Jim cared for and at rest. He turned his face up into the hot water and groaned with pleasure. That didn't sound like such a bad idea at the moment, at that. He washed quickly but let himself soak slowly. The steam-filled stall and hot water pouring over him reached into him, soaking out the cold of the day and easing the bone-deep ache from the creeping chill of three days in the cellars. When he shut off the spigot he still felt exhausted, he still felt slightly sick, he still ached all over, but it didn’t feel like it could take him to the floor, now, none of it. His muscles felt looser and his joints less stiff -- maybe he could actually sleep. He set the cubicle to hot air cycle, which was almost as nice as the hot water had been, as targeted forced air wicked the water from skin and hair, until some inner threshold was quite suddenly crossed and he found himself caught in a flash of over-heated ill-feeling and sudden dizziness. He shut off the dryer and cracked the door. Thankfully, the relatively cool air in the small bathroom cleared his head again. The patiently-waiting blue-clad back finally turned to offer him a towel and a promise of steadiness if he couldn’t find it himself. Kirk smiled a little, appreciative and too tired not to be warm about it,

gave his hair one last good towel and went to find sleep pants and a shirt, and an over-shirt. He made it to the over-shirt before sleepy dizziness sent him to sit on the side of his bed with the warm garment in his lap. He took a long breath, curled in on himself and shuddered, once. He let his eyes stay closed for a moment, just a moment, to clear his head and steady his breath, before straightening out very slowly. For Captain Kirk, this level of pain was a blessed relief. For exhausted, depleted, off-guard Jim who just wanted desperately to sleep it was almost more than he could handle. “Captain,” Spock said very quietly from right behind him. A gentle hand touched between his shoulders. "Jim. Allow me to help you, so you may rest.” He put his hands on Kirk’s shoulders and dug carefully into muscle with his long fingers, thumbs tracing downward in mirror arcs. “Let me help.” Spock was capable of spectacularly effective back-rubs, the kind of shock-and-awe attacks that annihilated knot after knot efficiently and then gentled it just enough before moving on. That was not what he was offering now. No painful return to function. This was an offer for comfort. Kirk’s head immediately dropped forward in pure animal desire for release from pain. “You’re needed –“ the protest was less than half-hearted. “I’ll be contacted if I’m needed, Captain. We’re in a unique position, with the Ariz’ strict adherence to daylight-only activity. We have a minimum of ten point two hours before we may expect movement from those in the capital.” Just the tips of Spock’s fingers dug in all across his back, and Kirk arched his back and tried to remember what he was saying. He mostly wanted to groan, already.

Kirk closed his eyes and gave himself up to the shoulder rub, at least, almost falling asleep within perhaps a minute before he woke himself with a light sneeze and decided to give in completely. He shifted, and Spock did most of the work in pulling back the covers and settling Jim full length on his front, hugging a pillow. Jim murmured something he knew would have embarrassed them both if they'd been face to face, but he was utterly giving his body into Spock’s hands now. God, so much strength in those hands, to be so careful with him. Jim had been trying not to be too vocal in his appreciation but he couldn’t repress a long, quiet noise as something at the base of his neck - that had been tied directly into a pounding in his temple for the last two days - let go all at once. The momentary pinch of pain in the muscle was skillfully rubbed out. He was drifting toward sleep, and closing his eyes again seemed like the natural next step. Spock had him, and the ship, and he could sleep for awhile. The occasional sharp kneading ceased. Now Spock was applying just enough pressure to keep him wanting to groan, all over him in turns, and Kirk could feel pain he’d become so accustomed to he barely noticed it rise into consciousness just long enough to be soothed away. Oh, Spock was good at this. Finally, the long-fingered hands came to rest on his near forearm, just above his hand. Spock pushed Kirk's hair back from his face and asked quietly, "Are you awake enough to eat something off your meal card? The doctor did say you should take nourishment. Then you can rest." He found one of the tissues in time to sneeze into it as he rallied on autopilot, “I refuse to accept chicken noodle soup as a prescription.” Spock ran a hand through his hair again as he stood up, plausible deniability in that it made it easier to see his face, then folded his hands behind himself and looked down on Kirk, who made some effort to look awake. He couldn’t seem to care enough to succeed under Spock's carefully stoic expression -- Jim could feel the warmth and fondness radiating out of it, in the little quirk at the corner of Spock’s lips and in the soft brown of his eyes. "Yes, Captain. Something warming, though," he hmm'd. "You've done enough for tonight, Spock." Kirk smiled at him, warm, god, how could cool Vulcan skin have gifted him with such a sense of positive warmth? "I can synthesize my own cup of soup. If I can move at all." Kirk smiled and gave a low groan as he stretched himself to feet on the floor and himself more or less sitting up. "Captain --" Spock demurred. "The doctor did insist on this." So he let Spock synthesize him a cup of soup without too much grumbling -- Vulcan aureg, thank you, not chicken noodle. And Spock did more or less end up putting Jim to bed, when he couldn't seem to coordinate his limbs anymore -- exhaustion, release of stress, sleep deprivation, ha! Jim was blaming it on McCoy's injection. The lights dimmed and he could feel Spock sitting on the side of the bed. After a moment he felt a cool hand pass through his hair again, rest for a moment at the nape of his neck, then Spock rose quietly from the bed and walked away. The moment after that, Jim was asleep. End

[fireinmywoods]

the heart of the matter (is Leonard McCoy)

Followers...friends. I come to you today, hat in hand, to ask for your support in a certain fandom matter, a trifling concern of little real consequence which nevertheless has been driving me absolutely cross-eyed bonkers for some years now.

Simply put: can we please all agree that Bones is the heart of the Enterprise???

In AOS, I mean. I’m not aware of any debate over this when it comes to TOS, where the roles of the triumvirate have always been explicit, though there are a few different ways to identify them:

Spock = logos = superego = head

Bones = pathos = id = heart

Kirk = ethos = ego = soul

So clear! So clean! So universally accepted by Trek fandom at large!

Oh, but things get murkier in AOS, and there are plenty of posts floating around which suggest that it’s Kirk, not McCoy, who serves as the heart in the Kelvin timeline. Even the writers of the first two AOS films have outright stated that their interpretation of the triumvirate had the original roles switched, with Kirk as the highly emotional one and McCoy as the arbiter between Kirk’s passion and Spock’s logic. It’s true that this technically counts as a Word of God pronouncement by the actual creators of 2/3 of the series thus far, which some would argue renders it canon. However, it’s equally true that those same creators also felt that Kirk was a fuckboi and that Benedict Cumberbatch wonderfully embodied their vision for Khan Noonien Singh, so honestly, who gives a hot hollerin’ fuck what those dingdongs think. This seems as justified a time as any to invoke Death of the Author, and in fact, it’s my firm belief that despite the writers’ intentions, Star Trek and Into Darkness both support the original triumvirate breakdown.

Under the cut you’ll find a long-winded and self-indulgent ~*~character analysis~*~ of the Kelvin-timeline incarnations of Jim Kirk and Leonard “Bones” McCoy, reviewing why Leonard is still unmistakably the heart, unpacking what the hell Jim’s deal is, and finally taking a look at some key examples from canon, because ya girl believes in showing her work.

Let’s get down to business.

[A quick warning, as this is starting to spread beyond my own followers: if you don’t like McKirk as a romantic pairing, you ain’t gonna like part IV, so I’d bow out before then or just take your leave now.]

i. Leonard

Independent of Jim’s characterization, it should be blindingly obvious that Leonard is the heart. He’s by far the most nakedly emotional of our seven core crew members, a trait we see writ large and small throughout the films. He’s reactive; he’s passionate; he’s humane. He cares, first and foremost.

Not about Starfleet, of course. Leonard doesn’t give a damn about playing the game or advancing his career, or even really about the Enterprise’s mission - he has no desire to explore strange new worlds, he’ll pass on seeking out new life and new civilizations, and he spends half his time trying to convince everyone else that boldly going where no man has gone before is a great way to die horribly. Fuck exploration, fuck space, and fuck the Federation while we’re at it. Leonard is perhaps the most improbable of the Enterprise’s senior officers for the simple reason that he seems to resent everything about the job.

Well. Almost everything.

See, what Leonard cares about is people. He cares about their lives, about their stories, about their hopes and dreams, about their suffering. That’s why he entered and has stayed in an extremely taxing caring profession, and it’s why he’s still on the Enterprise despite his incessant bitching about everything they do. He wouldn’t trust anyone else to take care of the crew he’s become so attached to, and he finds fulfillment in helping the people they encounter out there in the nightmare of space.

In every timeline, Leonard McCoy defines himself by what he can do for others: the pain he can ameliorate, the wounds he can heal, the diseases he can cure, the small amounts of good he can bring to a galaxy filled with so much absolute horseshit. Unlike most of his colleagues, he’s not motivated by curiosity or an adventurer’s spirit or a burning desire to make sense of the universe. (Fuck the universe, too, as a matter of fact.) Instead, he’s driven by the incredible depths of his compassion and empathy and concern for the people he serves alongside and those they meet along the way.

Sure sounds like the heart to me.

ii. Jim

I actually totally get why some people characterize Kelvin-timeline Jim as the heart. He’s quite literally a different man than the original timeline’s Kirk, and he definitely has more of the pathos qualities to him. Early on, he’s a total spitfire, fierce and hot-blooded, quick to anger and other sharp-edged emotions we’re not used to associating with James T. Kirk. Even as he grows into himself and leaves some of those traits behind, he remains spontaneous, passionate, protective, and self-sacrificing - easy enough to mistake for the heart if you squint.

But let’s not confuse having a heart for being the heart. Sure, Jim is more openly emotional and reactive than his TOS counterpart, but there’s still a marked difference between the way he and Leonard express and act on their emotions.

AOS Jim definitely has a lot of feelings - big ones - but at the end of the day, he’s not driven by his heart. He’s driven by his gut.

Whenever there’s trouble, Jim makes a beeline right for the center of it. He’s impulsive as hell, rarely pausing to think past his first instinct, because he just wants to be doing something, no matter the odds, no matter what it costs him. He explicitly calls himself out on this in ST:ID when arguing with Spock: “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do. I only know what I can do.” He doesn’t have the patience or the constitution to sit and debate all the options, either internally or with his crew. If there’s a path forward from where he is, even a bad one, Jim’s gonna take it.

[Sidebar: One could make the case that the roots of Jim’s instinct to act reach back to his childhood traumas - canonically ignored abuse and neglect on the one hand, and the Tarsus IV famine and massacre on the other - but that’s a whole post on its own and we ain’t got all day here.]

Jim can’t not act, and while that gets him into a lot of trouble, it also saves lives. Sulu probably appreciated that Jim’s gut drove him to leap off Nero’s drilling platform without a moment’s hesitation after a man he’d only just met. He may have been a real shithead about it, but Jim’s impassioned insistence on going after the Narada and not wasting time on the possibility of a better option was key to saving Pike and Earth itself. And I don’t know why Spock was so surprised that Jim intervened to save him on Nibiru, considering that the reason they were there in the first place was because Jim couldn’t sit back and watch the Nibirans die when there was something his crew could do to help them, even if it meant risking a violation of the Prime Directive.

Jim is a good man with a big heart, and he cares about people, absolutely. But he cares most of all about Doing The Right Thing - which in the heat of the moment often translates to Doing Something, Anything, Hold My Beer.

iii. heart vs. gut (i.e., time for some receipts)

I think one of the main reasons Leonard and Jim’s characterizations get confused is because they both tend to act on instinct, only lightly informed by higher reasoning. However, I’d argue that their motivations and the nature of those actions are super distinct, and those distinctions remain relatively consistent throughout all three films. (And y’all know I really mean this shit if I’m out here calling ST:ID consistent.)

Jim is a big picture guy, figuratively and often literally heaving himself full-body into the mix of whatever problem the crew has encountered for lack of any better alternative. That energy propels the plots of all three films: the chaotic path he carves through the events of Star Trek and ST:ID, and the slightly calmer but still undeniably bananas course he charts for himself and his crew in the second half of Beyond.

As the heart, Leonard operates on a more micro level. His concern invariably lies with the individual people caught up in those grand events Captain Chaos is busy dragging them all through. While Jim’s zooming around flipping plot switches, Leonard can always be counted on to bring it back to the personal.

We frequently see this juxtaposed right there on film. Think of that slow pan through medbay in the first movie after the Narada’s ambush and the destruction of Vulcan: while Jim is stewing over what to do about the Big Bad, Leonard has stepped into the CMO role without fuss or fanfare to care for the wounded crew and traumatized survivors.

Or jump ahead to Beyond: during Krall’s attack on the Enterprise, there’s a gorgeous cinematic shot of Jim sprinting down the corridor with two crew members to take on the invaders - and then we cut to Leonard moving slowly through those same ghastly red-lit corridors, searching for casualties in need of help, visibly affected by what his scanner is telling him about the downed crewman he tries to save.

Actually, Beyond as a whole does terrific justice to each of their roles. (Perhaps because it was not written by dingdongs.) The first act finds Jim flailing around for a sense of purpose and forward momentum - an understandable consequence of a gut-driven character having stalled out for too long - and he ultimately gets his mojo back by spending the rest of the film careening through one insane seat-of-his-pants ploy after another. Meanwhile, in the quieter moments between all the mayhem, Leonard serves as the empathetic sounding board for both Jim and Spock as they struggle with deep emotionally charged secrets and Big Life Questions, helping them untangle their feelings and reminding them of the emotional attachments which are ultimately key to their respective decisions to stay on the Enterprise.

More examples, you say? Don’t mind if I do!

Star Trek

GUT: Jim hurtles around the Narada, improvising almost every step of the way and paying the price for his and Spock’s scheme in bodily harm, and ultimately succeeds in rescuing Pike. HEART: Leonard calls out for Jim as he runs into the transporter room, overwhelmed with relief that he’s made it back, and takes Chris Pike’s weight literally and figuratively onto his own shoulders to begin healing him while Jim runs back off to the center of the action.

Star Trek: Into Darkness

GUT: Jim argues with Leonard, Spock, and Scotty in quick succession as he’s preparing to drag them all off to Qo’noS, immune to their attempts to reason with him because, unraveled as he is by grief and pain, he can only focus on his visceral drive to Do Something. HEART: Unlike the others, Leonard is upset not about the larger moral questions of whether it’s right to go after John Harrison or bring torpedoes aboard the ship, but about the fact that Jim himself is hurt and hurting and won’t accept help.

GUT: Jim makes a snap decision to sacrifice himself by hurling his body against the warp core to realign it and save his crew. HEART: Shellshocked by the emotional grenade of his best friend’s death, Leonard suddenly realizes, through the haze of his own numbness and upswelling grief, that he might still be able to do something for this lonely radiation-ravaged body he’s been brought and the life it represents.

Star Trek Beyond

GUT: At the tail end of an improvised plan to out-maneuver Kalara, Jim quite literally shoots first and asks questions later, igniting a fuel tank and setting off an explosive series of events which he and Chekov just barely escape. HEART: The next time we see Leonard, Spock is opening up to him about Ambassador Spock’s death and his own plan to leave Starfleet for New Vulcan - and while he’s empathetic toward Spock (I can’t imagine what that must feel like), Leonard’s thoughts go immediately to the emotional impact of Spock’s plan on the other people he’s closest with. (I can see how that would upset [Nyota]. / I can tell you, [Jim]’s not gonna like that.)

GUT: Jim frantically strains to reach the final switch in the life support hub, believing that he’s going to die either way since the vent has already opened, but spurred on by the knowledge that his ability to move that switch is the only thing standing between Yorktown and annihilation. HEART: Knowing exactly what’s at stake, with the fate of the station and millions of lives hanging in the balance, Leonard’s greatest concern is that Jim won’t make it out in time.

iv. never bet against the heart

Let’s wrap this up with a deep dive on one of the absolute best examples of Leonard as the heart: his decision to sneak Jim onto the Enterprise in the first movie.

As relentlessly as I drag him for the, you know, poisoning and kidnapping aspects of that whole deal, there’s no denying that it is a god-tier heart move. Is it logical? Absolutely not. Is it really the right thing to do for either himself or Jim, as far as he knows at the time? Nope. It’s 100% the wrong choice for his own job security, reputation, and relationships with his fellow crew, and it’s almost guaranteed to get Jim into even worse trouble. Leonard is a smart dude who must understand that this course of action will likely end up coming back on them both in a real bad way. For someone who argues loudly and often in defense of self-preservation, this is a shockingly bad idea.

But none of that matters, because Jim shakes his hand and tells him to be safe with that horrible empty-eyed smile, and it gets him right in the heart, one-two-three.

One: sympathy, worry, and affection for Jim - his best friend, his wild and troublesome stray, his only family.

Two: guilt over adding onto Jim’s pain, and the instinctive urge to fix whatever‘s hurting him.

Three: fear of heading out into the unknown by himself, the agonizing uncertainty of not knowing what’s coming, craving for the security and reassurance Jim’s presence would give him.

“Dammit,” Leonard says, as his heart wins out over his brain. He knows this is a garbage plan, and he doesn’t care. His heart chooses Jim. That’s all that matters.

So he goes back for Jim, and to his own surprise it turns out that this Very Bad Idea was actually a Very Good Idea because Jim’s impulsive instincts end up saving Earth, and Leonard’s not in the habit of fixing what ain’t broke so he figures he may as well keep on chasing Jim’s crazy ass around the galaxy for a while, through jungles and off cliffs and into the goddamn afterlife when need be, until finally one day Jim’s gut drives him right into Leonard’s arms and he suddenly realizes that this is what his heart was choosing all those years ago: Jim’s wide terrified eyes, Jim’s voice breaking over his name, Jim’s hand pressing hard against his chest, reaching out for what’s his.

But that’s another story.

[random-thought-depository]

One of the things that’s interesting about Space Seed is the way it makes the Star Trek universe a de facto alternate history setting. Based on the bits dropped there and elsewhere in TOS, their later twentieth and early twenty-first century looked very different from our later twentieth and early twenty-first centuries!

The Eugenics Wars supposedly happened in the 1990s. The Star Trek original series ran from 1966-69, so this would have been about 25-30 years in the future at the time; the 1990s were for 1960s people what the 2050s are to us in 2020. So, not a bad time frame for events that were supposed to be near-future-ish but not immediate.

Or, another way of looking at it, from the viewpoint of 1960s people, the Eugenics Wars would have been about as far in the future as WWII was in the past. I get the impression history felt faster in the ‘60s, because of proximity of the great upheavals of the earlier twentieth century, and because the space race and the counterculture were ongoing big things, and because after 1970 or so technological progress slowed because a lot of the technological “low-hanging fruit” was picked. Think about how much the world changed from 1940 to 1967! People expected that pace of change to continue in the future. Thus all the middle twentieth century expectations that we’d have moon colonies and commercial fusion power and so on by the early 2000s; the sort of expectations you see in science fiction like 2001. The original Star Trek series was very much part of that trend, projecting manned space exploration of the other solar system planets and suspended animation technology and genetically engineered superhumans in the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries. There’s a line in Space Seed when Kirk, Spock, etc. are first taking a look around Khan’s ship, that went approximately “Yeah, they used suspended animation in exploration ships back then cause back then it took years just to reach other planets of the solar system, interplanetary travel with faster ships that didn’t need suspended animation only started in 2018.” As somebody sitting in a timeline where it’s now 2021 and Luna is still the most distant world a human has walked on, hearing that sure made me feel something!

I remember somebody once commenting that Star Trek TOS’s vision of the late twentieth and early twenty-first centuries reflected an idea, common during the ‘60s, that very soon we’d either get our act together or blow ourselves up. And I think what that comment was getting at was... There was an expectation that failure to do the former would quickly result in the latter so it was going to be one or the other. Something like our timeline, where we just sort of muddled through for the next fifty years, wasn’t expected; they’d have expected a scenario like that to have ended in the blow ourselves up outcome by now.

I think later Star Trek tried to kinda soft-retcon the timeline of the Eugenics Wars but never committed to explicitly changing it. According to First Contact, the “Third World War” happened around the 2050s (and this was building off stuff we saw in TNG). I think the implication is supposed to be that WWIII was the Eugenics Wars, but that requires ignoring some very explicit statements of dates in Space Seed and Wrath of Khan, and as I said, they never explicitly committed to a retcon. If we take what we see in the show at face value we’d conclude the Eugenics Wars and WWIII were two separate conflicts separated by about 50 years. Which makes it seem a bit weird that the Eugenics Wars apparently weren’t counted as a world war; based on the descriptions of them in Space Seed they were very destructive! Maybe the United States and the rest of the Americas and Australia and the Oceania nations stayed neutral, so they’re considered technically not a world war? Maybe they were less a single big war with two clearly defined sides and more a big mess of smaller interconnected conflicts like IIRC the Hundred Years War and the Thirty Years War?

Which... Star Trek has a reputation as the big optimistic science fiction, but this is making Star Trek Earth’s history from 1950 to 2070-ish look rather dystopian! We won’t be able to fully judge their history against ours until 2070 or so, but so far our post-WWII history looks more peaceful than their post-WWII history! One of the defining and good features of the post-WWII age is that it’s a long period of relative peace; it doesn’t sound like the people on Star Trek Earth would be saying the same thing from the vantage point of their 2021. I guess civilization blowing itself up every two generations would still be an improvement on the early twentieth century pattern of civilization blowing itself up every generation...

I think there have been some Star Trek novels written about the Eugenics Wars, and they squared it with real history by portraying it as a covert conflict that most people are the time were completely unaware of, kind of like the stuff that happens in Stargate and Men In Black? Eh, the descriptions of the Eugenics Wars in Space Seed really don’t fit with that idea. And I’ll just say that I don’t really like that “it’s all secret and the regular people have no idea any of this happening” trope; it’s OK in the right context but it’s got implications that limit storytelling and undertones of elitism I don’t like and I think a lot of the time it’s kind of lazy. If I were to just roll with the dates given for the Eugenics Wars, I’d take the approach of just leaning into the Star Trek universe being an honorary alternate history setting; I’d headcanon Star Trek Earth’s later twentieth and early twenty-first centuries as being 2001-ish, with commercial fusion power and moon colonies and crewed expeditions to the other planets of the solar system and lots of “futuristic” stuff (like, y’know, the process that created Khan) by the ‘90s and ‘00s. Admittedly I’m not sure how to square this with Star Trek: the Voyage Home, which mostly takes place in a 1980s that seems real-world-ish; it’d take some creative interpretation to reconcile them.

And, y’know... In some ways, Star Trek Earth’s late twentieth and early twenty-first century look better and more interesting than ours. Their world is clearly much more technologically advanced! Their space program is far more advanced than ours! On the other, looking at the descriptions of the Eugenics Wars ... if we had to choose, I think it might be a good thing that we got our history and not their history. Khan Noonien Singh sounds like a guy who’s inflicted a lot more death and suffering than Donald Trump and COVID19 ever will. Compared to Star Trek Earth’s late twentieth and early twenty-first century, our late twentieth and early twenty-first century is kind of boring, and sometimes boring is good.

And all this makes me think of something Chris Wayan (the Planetocopia guy) said about the Randomia principle:

“Let's say you're contemplating Randomia, an alternate Earth no better or worse than ours, with roughly the same biomass, same amount of arable land, about the same population... just re-distributed. Now, what regions will you notice the most? First, your home, of course, and then, other well-known regions--and well-known means inhabited.

Randomia will always look inferior! For, by definition, most readers will be from our world's high-population zones. Random changes will, on average, degrade them. And the lands that improve, that become the heartlands of Randomia's civilizations, are likely to be barren obscure lands in our world, mere names (if that) to non-Randomian readers. The Turnovian version of Europe is cold (millions of European readers groan), while the green Sahara nurtures great civilizations (a handful of Saharan readers cheer). If you love civilization, Randomia will probably kill or cripple the ones you love, and plant its greatest civilizations in places you associate with backwardness.

So the grass always looks browner in a parallel world--because what you value most, what you KNOW to value, is generally lost. This principle makes it hard to see alternate worlds fairly.”

The long post-WWII peace is something that hadn’t happened yet in the 1960s, therefore when Star Trek writers wrote a future history that didn’t contain it, they didn’t know they were writing a history that didn’t contain something important and good about the real history that was actually going to unfold. From the vantage point of 1967, it was optimistic to assume there wouldn’t be a nuclear war in the 1970s or 1980s! We, in 2021, can look back on the post-WWII period of relative peace that stretches 70 years long behind us, and know that our timeline contains this important good thing.

On the other hand, my perspective is also influenced by this Randomia effect; the more advanced technology of Star Trek 2021 Earth likely implies less poverty and more advanced medicine, which over a few decades might have saved more lives than the Eugenic Wars ended, making their timeline net better than ours (though containing great tragedies we avoided). One could certainly choose to imagine their world as being that way!

[per-ineptia-ad-astra]

fixing The Menagerie

The circumstances behind The Menagerie pose an interesting writing problem: how do you take an already shot, totally completed episode for an earlier version of a TV show that differs considerably from the version that actually made it to air, and turn it into an episode that you can use now, as part of that later version, in a way that actually makes sense for your audience? That would be challenging enough without the additional problems that 1.) you can't reshoot any of the original episode because you no longer have access to the sets, costumes, most of the cast, etc., and 2.) the whole reason you're doing this in the first place is because you can't get a completely new episode out in time to meet your air date, so whatever your framing device is it has to be something that can be shot and finished very quickly--and cheaply, because at absolutely no point in the making of this show has there been spare money to throw around.

When I recapped The Menagerie (eons ago, it now seems) I said in the conclusion to the second part that I thought the framing device used wasn't as effective as it could have been. So, I figured I’d put my money where my mouth was and see if I could come up with another one. Before I start I want to put out the same disclaimer I used for the Return of the Archons post: I am not a professional TV writer (or a professional anything) and I intend this only as a fun exercise and not an angry and serious screed about the writing quality of TOS, which I do very much love for being what it is. I can only offer what, in my opinion, would make a more enjoyable episode, which may not necessarily be what you would find to be a more enjoyable episode. And if you already greatly enjoy The Menagerie as it is, you probably won’t want to read this.

For the purposes of this post, I’m going to take The Cage itself as written. It has its own problems, and that might be worth its own post at some point, but I’m not going to take it on here. We’ll assume The Cage exists exactly as it was produced, and the problem now is entirely focused on how to turn it into an episode—or two—of TOS.

(And, just to get it out of the way: I’m not going to talk about how either The Cage or The Menagerie play into Discovery, AOS, or the rest of Star Trek in general. It’s obviously a very important episode backstory-wise, but for this, right now, I’m just going talk about it purely as a TOS episode.)

So, with that out of the way, let’s talk about The Menagerie for a moment. What’s wrong with it?

Well, the framing device could certainly have been worse. It’s not terrible. Hell, Part I even won a Hugo, so, guess I’m up against the Hugo committee on this one. But, there are a number of things that I find awkward about it.

In a general sense, there’s the way that, once the flashbacks start, the story is attempting to maintain two separate threads of tension: the flashback story, with the tension being on what’s going to happen to Pike, and the present-day story, with the tension being on what Spock is doing, why he’s doing it, and whether he’s going to wind up getting the death penalty for it. This second thread starts out well—by this point in TOS, we’ve gotten to know Spock well enough to know how out of character all this is for him, which makes the mystery quite gripping. However, once the flashback starts, the story struggles to maintain the tension of this second thread. The attempt to keep the present-day story as tense as the past story only results in breaks away from the action for scenes in the courtroom where something or someone stops Spock from showing the footage, which never results in anything because by the next commercial break they’re back at it. Most of these interruptions are either arbitrary (the screen goes off for no reason and then comes on again for no reason; fake!Mendez randomly decides he’s had enough and tries to stop things) or just not that interesting (Pike fell asleep), and with each one it only becomes more obvious that the only real purpose they’re serving is to pad out the framing story.

The resolution of the present-day story is also rather unsatisfying for a lot of reasons. After so much tension built up about what’s going on and why Spock is acting this way and is his life on the line and is Kirk’s career on the line and how’s he going to get out of this...it turns out that Mendez has been fake this whole time, so nothing he said or did since Kirk left the Starbase matters at all; Starfleet casually waves the whole thing aside with no repercussions, making all the build-up about Spock risking the only death penalty remaining in the Federation mean nothing whatsoever in the end; and we never really get a satisfactory answer as to why Spock insisted on carrying out his court martial the way he did. Sure, eventually the Keeper says the whole court martial was basically staged to stall Kirk so he wouldn’t focus on getting control of his ship back, but not only does that raise further questions—if Mendez was only ever an illusion sent by the Talosians, why did he try to stop the court martial several times? Why did the Talosians turn off the footage at a crucial point, and why did it come on again?--there’s also no reason given why Spock couldn’t just recount what happened himself, which could have taken up enough time if he was careful enough about it, instead of needing the Talosians to broadcast a video version of the events.

There’s also the simple fact that Pike’s ending is itself rather dubious. I suppose this one comes down to a difference of opinion between me and Gene Roddenberry (one of many) since both The Cage and The Menagerie end with a character going to permanently stay with the Talosians, with no concern at all expressed about the fact that the Talosians are cruel, torture-happy, and frankly insufferable wannabe-slavemasters who see humans as nothing more than brute animals to be caged, bred and make to work. I said I wasn’t going to tackle The Cage here so I won’t go off about its ending, no matter how much it pisses me off. But The Menagerie is also at fault here, because it needlessly repeats the exact same problem (with a bit less sexism, but still). The ending of The Menagerie gives us no sign that the Talosians have reformed in any way, and no explanation as to why they suddenly care so much about Pike to go to all this trouble for him. We’re just expected to believe that Pike’s gonna go have a nice happy illusion-life with them even though the last time we saw them they were trying to breed a race of human slaves. Really, Gene? Really?

On that note, the treatment of disability in both The Cage and The Menagerie bothers me a great deal. The effect of Pike becoming disabled is to essentially strip him of all his autonomy. I mean no disrespect to Sean Kenney here, but if they’d replaced him with a mannequin it wouldn’t have made any difference at all to the episode, because in The Menagerie Pike is not a character, he’s a prop. We’re assured repeatedly that Pike thinks and feels as much as he ever did, but we have to be told that by other characters because the episode certainly never takes any opportunity to let us in on any of it. Here’s the sum total of what we know Pike thinks about the events of The Menagerie:

1. He doesn’t want to visit with Kirk and McCoy at the beginning of the episode but allows Spock to stay.

2. He tells Spock “no” when Spock tells him his plan.

3. He keeps repeating “no” the rest of that day, which everyone is confused by but no one makes any effort to understand.

4. He falls asleep at one point.

5. He votes for a guilty verdict for Spock during the court martial, when asked.

6. He says “yes” when asked if he wants to go live with the Talosians.

Pike is treated with sympathy and the respect due to his rank and history, but mostly he’s an object of pity. We’re told he can move his chair himself, but he appears to be confined to one small hospital room that’s not even set up for his needs, and he spends the entire episode being moved around by other people. Everyone talks about how bad his situation is, but only Spock attempts to do anything to improve it—and he does so knowing that Pike doesn’t want him to do it. When Pike tells him “No,” Spock doesn’t ask any questions, he doesn’t try to find out what part of this whole thing Pike is objecting to, he just overrides Pike’s objection on the assumption that Pike is only concerned about Spock doing something so very illegal, a concern he pretty much disregards. He turns out to be right—as far as we can tell—but for all the information Spock has at the time, Pike might have been saying, “No, I don’t want to live with the Talosians.”

It doesn’t need to be that way. Pike’s condition is certainly very severe, but as I mentioned in the recap, there are plenty of other things that could have been done for him, or at least attempted. And even if none of those were done, there are other ways that the episode could have developed his character, or at least treated him like a character. Spock’s discussion at the beginning of the episode could have been a mind meld that allowed us to hear Pike’s thoughts on the matter. Spock could have heard his objections and addressed them, and he and Pike could have come to come to an agreement and actually become co-conspirators instead of Pike spending the entire episode as a helpless hostage to Spock’s plan. We could have gotten a scene of Pike and McCoy interacting after Spock tells McCoy to look after Pike—McCoy’s not only highly suspicious at that point and unlikely to be greatly put off by Spock's order to not ask Pike any questions, he’s also the one who gives a whole speech about how cruel it is that Pike “can’t reach out, and no one can reach in”--so give us a scene where he does reach out! We could have had a scene of Kirk talking with Pike—he’s certainly got plenty to ask the man about, both in general and in regard to the current situation. All he has to do is put a little extra work into how to frame his questions. The Talosians could have delivered a message from Pike at the end, or one of them could have astral-projected in earlier to have a telepathic exchange with him. We could have seen Pike express himself by moving his chair, turning towards or away people when they talk to him, interjecting a “yes” or “no” into a conversation instead of only replying when asked something, or repeating a response incessantly to show that he’s emphatic about something. (Yeah, we kinda get the latter when he’s saying “no” over and over early in the episode, but that’s only treated as a “what could he possibly be trying to communicate??? oh, if only we knew!” moment.) There were so many ways Pike could have been treated as a character, as a person, instead of a plot element who exists to be pushed around in his chair and have speeches made about how tragic his situation is.

Both The Cage and The Menagerie end with a character who is disabled choosing to spend the rest of their lives isolated from the entire rest of humanity on a barren planet inhabited by jackass aliens because, as everyone around them nods and solemnly agrees, that’s a better fate for them than living among human society. To be clear, it’s not Pike and Vina seeking solutions to their problems that I object to. If Vina wants to be represented by what is essentially an avatar of her own choosing, or if Pike feels that an illusory world offers better quality of life for him, that’s entirely their right. But when life with the Talosians is set up as a situation so horrible that we see four characters literally willing to die rather than remain on Talos 4, and then have two disabled characters say “actually it’s better this way if I stay here,” you kind of wind up with a message that looks a lot like “being disabled is a fate worse than death.” I doubt that was intentional, at least not entirely, since we see other disabled characters in TOS who are treated considerably better—but there it is, all the same.

This is not to say that there’s nothing of value in The Menagerie’s framing story. The tension between Kirk wanting to trust his friend but being forced to act in authority over him because he’s undeniably done something very seriously against the rules, and he won’t tell Kirk why, is great while it lasts. Spock’s character is expanded considerably by showing us that there are some things he places above his honor and obligations as a Starfleet officer—and indeed above his own life. We see a bit of his history, a glimpse of a relationship with a former captain that he respects so much that Spock will put everything on the line to secure a better future for him; and we see how much he respects and values Kirk, that he foregoes the chance to explain himself—and thus gain an ally and aid in his cause—because to do so would put Kirk in danger as well. And we get that great little moment where Spock tells McCoy to call security on him and McCoy has absolutely no idea how to react. And we get backstory! And kind-of-continuity! Okay, it’s not much backstory, but by TOS standards it’s practically a goldmine.

I don’t want to throw all that away. But I think there must be some way to address the problems without totally losing the good parts.

It’s only fair, though, that any attempt to improve the episode should keep in mind the circumstances it was made under. I don’t know enough about budgeting and producing TV in the 1960s either generally in or in this specific case to know exactly what was available to them when it came to producing The Menagerie, so I’m just going to try to deduce roughly what we might have to work with based on what what was in the finished episodes:

Much of Part I and all of Part II take place in preexisting sets, either the Enterprise ones or the shuttlecraft interior set. The new sets include the Starbase 11 exterior—which is mostly a matte painting—Mendez’s office, Pike’s hospital room, and the Starbase computer room. The computer room is a redressed Engineering set; I suspect the hospital room is also a redressed existing set, but I don’t know for sure. It’s quite simple regardless, and is clearly mostly using existing pieces (the bed and the chair). Mendez’s office is likewise set up with pretty standard preexisting TOS set dressing pieces, with the exception of some cut-outs outside the window standing in for the Starbase exterior.

Discounting any background extras we have five new characters: Commodore Mendez, Piper, Chief Humbolt (the computer room guy), Lt. Hansen, and Pike himself. Of these, only Mendez and Pike have much significant screen time. So, we can assume that hiring an extensive guest cast is probably not on the table here.

Most of the original cast from The Cage are probably not available. Pike we know is definitely out—Jeffrey Hunter wasn’t willing to come back after The Cage failed, and probably would have been too expensive to hire for two episodes anyway. Leonard Nimoy and Majel Barrett were, obviously, still working on TOS, so presumably we could incorporate past-Spock and Number One if we really needed to. Since Malachi Throne was also on hand for The Menagerie, we could record new dialogue for the Keeper (as The Menagerie did indeed do), but presumably no new footage (Throne voiced the Keeper, but they and all the other Talosians were portrayed onscreen by female actors). I don’t know if any of the other original cast could have been gotten back, but since they weren’t, let’s assume we can’t use them.

Let’s also assume that all of the sets, costumes, makeup, etc., from The Cage are inaccessible. In reality I’m sure at least something was still kicking around in storage somewhere, or was reused for TOS, but there’s no point in trying to figure out exactly what, so for simplicity’s sake we’ll say anything we might want to use from The Cage has to be recreated from scratch, and if it can’t be then we can’t use it.

Because the entire reason this is going on in the first place is because the effects work was making TOS run behind schedule, we can’t have much in the way of effects for The Menagerie, especially post-production effects. There’s a shot of the planet Starbase 11 is on, a matte painting for the Starbase 11 exterior, a couple uses of the transporter, Pike’s chair and makeup, some shots of the Enterprise and the shuttle flying around in space, and some things being shown on screens—and I think that’s more or less about it.

So. If I was told that I had to take The Cage and wrap it up as a TOS episode with the above restrictions in mind, here’s some things I would keep in mind:

If we look at this from a starting-from-scratch perspective, it seems to me that if you have an episode that you need to incorporate into your main show that has an almost entirely different cast, and one of the characters from your original episode, who has never once been seen or even referenced in your main show, is played by an actor that you can’t get back, the simplest thing to do is to not show that character. We don’t actually need Pike himself to be onscreen for The Menagerie. That he would be at least mentioned in some capacity, sure, but we do in fact have the opportunity to avoid putting some poor dude through five hours of makeup by simply having Pike remain offscreen. We'll probably wind up putting someone else through five hours of makeup, but we'll get to that in a bit.

For me at least, if the Talosians are going to re-appear, they either need to still be villains in some sense or we need to know that they have begun to change their behavior in some way. To have them simply show up again and be treated as friendly after everything that happened in The Cage, with absolutely no acknowledgment of the fact that they did do everything they did in The Cage...it just doesn’t make sense, and it’s much too distracting for me to get past.

Although I’ve set the rule that I’m not going to change The Cage itself, The Menagerie being a sequel to those events opens up the opportunity to follow up on the ending of The Cage in a different direction. In other words, I’m going to rescue Vina, because her fate in The Cage really, really bothers me.

Insisting on the preexisting footage being literally shown as a video in-universe has always felt pointlessly awkward to me. It’s so weird that the characters have to stop and go, “Hang on, what? Where’d this come from? This can’t possibly be security footage. Why does it have different camera angles?” to forestall the exact same questions the audience were probably having at that point. And, as I said above, there’s really not a good explanation as to why the footage did have to be shown in that manner. It seems to me that it would be much simpler to have the flashback footage be just that: a flashback. A story which is being recounted, but not literally shown, in-universe. By doing so you avoid having to open up a bunch of dead-end plot threads about why the footage looks the way it does and is being shown the way it does. I think we can give the audience at least enough credit to assume they’ll understand that if a character starts recounting an event, and the scene cuts to footage of that event, that footage is a representation of what the character is saying, not literally something being shown in-universe.

I’m not going to bother with the whole “going to Talos 4 warrants the death penalty!!” thing. It doesn’t make a great deal of sense to begin with, and it never actually pays off in The Menagerie. We can manage a better source of tension than that, I think.

All of this would ultimately take my version of The Menagerie in a pretty different direction than the actual episode, I admit. It's a rather drastic change, but, if I was tasked with writing a framing story for using The Cage in TOS, here's how I'd do it:

The Enterprise is out tooling around doing their usual business when Uhura picks up a distress call from a ship stranded in space. It’s very faint, distant, and there’s something odd about it, but of course they’re gonna follow up on it because that’s how they roll. So they head off in the direction of the call, but the funny thing is that as they get closer, Uhura says that the source of the distress call appears to be moving around. They follow it, send some hails, and finally get back a scratchy, staticky response: it’s coming from a ship that’s been heavily damaged, and the crew is no longer able to steer it, so it’s drifting erratically through space. Kirk has Uhura send a hail: “We’ve received your signal. Keep broadcasting it and we’ll find you.”

They keep following the ship. It’s difficult—the call is weak, and the Enterprise has to go carefully or risk overshooting it. After they’ve been chasing it for a while, Spock points out that they should be wary of entering a nearby star system, because it contains a planet all Federation ships are warned to avoid. Kirk, of course, doesn’t want to give up on the damaged ship, but Spock steps over to his chair and quietly says, “Captain...I should warn you that it may be the lesser of two evils to abandon this ship, rather than risk going too close to Talos 4.”

Kirk, of course, is stunned to hear Spock say this, and asks what makes Talos 4 so dangerous. Spock says it would take rather a long time to explain. Kirk says that Spock almost sounds like he’s familiar with the place, and Spock replies, “More than familiar, captain. I’ve been there before.”

[dramatic sting, cut to commercial]

Since it looks like the damaged ship will take a while to track down, Kirk has McCoy, Scotty and Spock convene in a briefing room to hear Spock’s story. Spock gives a short introduction: “What I am about to tell you, gentlemen, occurred as I said thirteen years ago, when the Enterprise was under the command of Captain Christopher Pike. I’ve pulled up the log entries of Captain Pike pertaining to this time to provide his own perspective on the matter, as it was he that had the closest encounter with the Talosians. At the time, the Enterprise had only recently escaped a disastrous encounter on Rigel 7 which had resulted in the deaths of three crewmen and injuries to several more, including myself. Some of the injuries were beyond the capacity of the ship’s doctors to treat, so we were en route to the Vega colony for treatment when we began receiving a distress signal...”

Spock’s voice-over fades out over a transition to the Cage footage. We watch that--perhaps interspersed with the occasional bit of narration from Spock, or a question from Kirk or McCoy or Scotty--until about the point where the landing party encounters the fake survivors' camp and Pike is captured by the Talosians. Then Spock is suddenly interrupted by Sulu calling Kirk to the bridge. Everyone hurries up to the bridge, where Uhura reports that the distress call has suddenly disappeared. Sulu says it's not just that: somehow, he doesn't understand how or why, his sensors are suddenly showing that they're not on the same course or even in the same place that they were only moments ago. Somehow, they've wound up in the Talos star system--and they're heading directly for Talos 4.

"It is just as I feared," Spock says gravely. "This has all been a trap."

Kirk orders Sulu to change course, and he tries—but somehow the ship doesn’t divert even a little. It’s like the helm just isn’t responding. Kirk does all the usual things, telling Scotty to do something, etc, nothing’s working, and then Uhura reports that they’re receiving a hail. And it appears to be coming from Talos IV.

Naturally Kirk tells her to put it on. The voice on the other end is staticky and faint. "Greetings. Is this...the Enterprise?"

"This is the Enterprise. I'm Captain James Kirk."

Silence for a moment. Then the voice on the other end, obviously surprised, says, "Captain Kirk? Not Captain Pike?"

"Captain Pike no longer commands this vessel."

There's a long pause. "I see. We were...in error. We apologize for the deception, Captain Kirk. It was important that we bring Captain Pike to this planet, but we feared that his...past experiences here...would leave him unwilling to come close enough to hear our message.”

“That would be a most logical decision for Captain Pike, were he here,” Spock says coldly. “Considering the nature of those experiences.”

“You speak as though you are familiar with what transpired here before, then.”

“I am First Officer Spock. I was present aboard the Enterprise as Science Officer during the events thirteen years ago.”

There’s an even longer pause. When the voice returns, the signal is even more crackly than ever. “Our apologies, this communication is...difficult to maintain. We must wait to deliver the message in full until you are...closer to our planet. However...until then...you may be assured, Spock...that this time...” [pause for more crackling] “This time...the intent of the Talosians...is peaceful.”

The signal cuts out, and Uhura can’t get it back. The ship appears to still be locked on course for Talos 4. With seemingly nothing else to do for the moment but wait, everyone goes back to the briefing room, where Spock continues recounting Pike’s story.

At some point, Spock has to pause so everyone can go take a break, and everyone else files out of the room while he remains behind for a moment, staring at the computer contemplatively. Then suddenly, we hear a voice saying, “Spock--” and Spock turns around in surprise. We can’t see exactly what he’s looking at, only a soft glow at the edge of the camera, and then the scene cuts away.

Kirk’s grabbing a nap in his quarters when he’s woken by an urgent message: they’re still some way from Talos 4, but the ship appears to have stopped moving all on its own. He hurries up to the bridge, where Sulu tells him that it seems like they’re having some kind of computer error with the helm, but they can’t track it down yet. In the middle of all this, Uhura whirls around and exclaims, “Sir! Shuttle bay reports Mr. Spock has knocked out the tech on duty and is boarding one of the shuttles!” Kirk yells for security to get down there, but they are, of course, too late: Spock rigged the shuttle bay doors to open automatically and flies out before they can stop him.

Stunned and confused, Kirk orders Uhura to raise the shuttle, which she does.

“Spock, are you out of your mind?!”

“Negative, captain. My reasoning is quite sound, though I regret I cannot explain it to you just yet.”

Kirk yells for the tractor beam to grab the shuttle, but Sulu can’t get the tractor beam to respond either.

“You need not be concerned, captain. I believe it is well within Mr. Scott’s abilities to repair the computer in due time.”

“You did this to the computer?”

“It was necessary. You will find the transporter similarly incapacitated. I could not risk you coming after me, or stopping me. Not yet.”

“Spock—do you know what you’re risking by doing this? You were the one who warned me not to go near Talos 4!”

“Yes, captain. And it is because I know what the Talosians are capable of that I am doing this. Either they are telling the truth, in which case there is no danger...or they are not, in which case it is better that I alone risk doing this.” A pause. “Jim...wait 24 hours for me. If I do not contact you by then...you must leave in all haste.”

“I’m not leaving you behind!”

“You must. 24 hours.” And with that, Spock ends the call. As Uhura’s trying fruitlessly to reestablish contact with him, she suddenly looks up and says, “Captain...we’re receiving a message from...Fleet Captain Pike?”

“What?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well...put him on.”

So Uhura puts Pike on speaker, and Kirk says, “We’re, er, in the middle of a bit of a situation, sir...what can I do for you?”

“I might ask what I can do for you, captain. Mr. Spock left a message requesting that I contact you.”

Stunned pause for a moment. “He did what?” Kirk finally says.

“About an hour ago. I regret I wasn’t able to return his call earlier, but it’s the middle of the night here...Kirk, what’s this all about?”

Kirk sighs. “It’s a long story, captain, and I don’t entirely understand it myself. Uhura, patch this into the briefing room...it’ll take a while to tell.”

A little later, we see Kirk and McCoy sitting in the briefing room as Kirk finishes up explaining everything to Pike. “What do you make of that, captain?”

“I’m not sure what to make of it, Kirk. I can’t imagine why Spock would want to go to Talos 4. All Federation starships have been warned away from there ever since our encounter with them, and Spock’s well aware of that.”

“Yes...Captain, I confess I’m not familiar with the entire story of that encounter myself...Spock was telling us about it before he, er, left, but he hadn’t finished. Could you enlighten us about the rest of it? We do have your logs, of course, but you might have more information--”

“Yes, I see what you mean. I’m not sure I’ll be able to help, but I can at least tell you what I know...”

Pike continues telling the story where Spock left off. Around about the point where Pike and the others escape from the cell, there’s a call from the bridge reporting that their sensors show that the shuttle has landed on Talos 4. Frustrated, Kirk wonders once again just what Spock thinks he’s doing down there.

We then cut to a shot of what looks kind of like the barren landscape of Talos 4, only this time there seems to be a small surface settlement among the cliffs. Then we see Spock entering a small, plainly decorated room with windows looking out to the rest of the settlement. “I am here, as agreed,” he says, and then the camera turns to show us a figure wearing a robe and a hood sitting at a table in the middle of the room.

“Welcome, Mr. Spock," the figure says. "Won’t you sit down?”

Back aboard the ship, Pike finishes telling Kirk and McCoy the story.

“So...that’s all of it?” Kirk says.

“Yes. We left Talos 4 and never looked back. Never heard anything from the Talosians, either, but Starfleet marked the place as too dangerous to visit just in case.”

“Poor Vina,” McCoy murmurs.

Pike sighs. “Leaving her there is one my greatest regrets. She seemed determined to stay, but...Even put in a request to go back, once, but Starfleet wouldn’t allow it. Too risky. I often wonder what happened to her. If she was really happy with them after all. But, as you may have gathered, Kirk, none of this explains just what the devil Spock thinks he’s doing--”

He’s interrupted by a call from Uhura: “Captain—message coming from Mr. Spock!”

“Put him on! Spock, what’s going on? Are you alright?”

“Quite well, captain. Has Captain Pike contacted the ship yet?”

“I’m on the line right now,” Pike says. “Spock, what do you think you’re playing at?”

“Ah, captain. I have someone here who wishes to speak to you.”

We then cut back to Spock sitting at the table with the figure, who takes his communicator and says, “Hello...captain.”

Pike is too stunned to speak for a moment. “Vina...? Is that you?”

“The very same. I’ve missed you.”

“I don’t understand. What’s going on?”

Between them, Spock and Vina explain just what is going on. There's been a change in Talosian society since the Enterprise left. Not all of the Talosians agreed with the plan to breed a slave race to begin with—others felt that they could, and should, attempt to reclaim the surface themselves. The incident with Captain Pike brought matters to a head, and a rebellion erupted shortly afterward. Once in power, the new leaders dedicated their efforts to repairing their ancestors’ machines and establishing a colony on the surface.

The reason the Enterprise was lured back to Talos 4 was Vina: she's had medical problems as a result of the crash and the botched surgery, and it's been getting worse for years, to the point that she likely won't live much longer if she doesn't get proper treatment. The new Talosian leaders wanted to make up for what their predecessors had done and gave her the best care they could, but simply didn't have the human medical knowledge to fix the problem. So Vina asked if they could help her get home, instead. The Talosians were concerned, however, that the Federation wouldn't believe a genuine call for help, given their history, so they hatched the plan to lure the Enterprise, and Pike with it, back to Talos 4. They've been waiting for quite a while, listening to subspace chatter, hoping the Enterprise would come near. Once it did, they put out the illusion of the damaged ship to bring the Enterprise close enough that they could maintain an illusion over the helm controls, making sure the helmsmen were not altering their course as they thought they were.

When they discovered that Pike was no longer aboard the Enterprise, they instead sent a telepathic message to Spock, hoping that his own experience with the Talosians would make him see the difference between their current society and the old one, and thus be more likely to believe them. They had to wait until the ship got close to Talos 4, because the new society of Talosians have been deliberately letting their psychic powers weaken, attempting to break the addiction to illusion that was holding them back from reclaiming the surface. They were able to keep up the illusion of the damaged ship for a while, but couldn't manage that and the illusion on the helm and extended contact with the Enterprise at the same time, making the whole thing very nearly fall apart at one point.

Kirk demands to know why Spock ran off on his own, and Spock explains that while he found the Talosians' message plausible, a risk remained that this was all an elaborate set-up. They might have been attempting another pass at the plan that failed thirteen years ago. If that was the case, Spock would be the least risky member of the crew to make contact with them, since as a non-human he wouldn't be suitable for their plans. Since he knew Kirk would never agree to that, he took the shuttle and hacked the ship's computers to ensure that they wouldn't be able to follow him, at least for a while. He now feels confident that this is not a trap, though, as the Talosians' powers have weakened enough that his own mental defenses are strong enough to mostly see through them.

So Vina accompanies Spock back to the shuttlecraft, and they fly back to the ship. Vina's taken to Sickbay while Kirk confronts Spock about stealing the shuttlecraft. Spock says he'll accept all punishment, but felt he had to do it--he saw what almost happened to Pike on Talos 4, and couldn't risk the same fate happening to Kirk. But he also felt he owed it to Pike to investigate Vina's story, and help her return if that was truly what she wanted. Kirk lets the whole matter go, because of course he does, telling Spock not to try that shit again because he can't lose his best officer and all that.

Kirk and Spock go to visit Sickbay, where McCoy reports that with proper Federation medical care Vina's prognosis is good. Kirk wants to talk to her, but McCoy tells him to wait because she's got another visitor. Kirk glances around the doorway and sees Vina sitting up in bed looking at a video monitor, from which Pike's voice is coming. Kirk smiles and says he'll come back later.

Everyone goes back to the bridge, and with the computer damage now fixed, they're preparing to leave, when Uhura reports that there's a call coming from Talos 4. Kirk has a short conversation with the Talosian on the other end, who is glad to hear that Vina will be alright. They also ask that Kirk relay a message to Pike, extending their apologies for what he went through, which Kirk assures them he will. He then adds that the Federation would likely be willing to open trade negotiations with the new Talosian government, and the Talosian says they may take them up on that. And with that, the ship flies off.

Most of this story would only require the existing Enterprise sets, and potentially some brief shots of the shuttle interior. The only new locations needed would be the Talosian settlement exterior, which could be a matte painting, and the inside of the building where Spock meets Vina, which wouldn't require much dressing. The only non-main-cast characters would be Pike, Vina, and the Talosian that contacts the Enterprise. The Talosian is a voice-only role. Pike is also a voice-only role, and would require someone who can approximate Jeffrey Hunter's voice, but it's a lot easier to find a sound-alike than someone who's a sound-alike and a look-alike--plus Pike would be thirteen years older than in The Cage, which allows some leeway. I don't know if Susan Oliver would have been willing/able to come back to play Vina, but if she wasn't, a hood, wig, careful camera shots and some old-age makeup would probably serve well enough to disguise another actress. The only special effect needed is a bit of glowiness for the Talosian that appears to Spock just out of frame.

As for the fate of Pike himself, I don't want to erase a disabled character, but I also don't really feel that Pike's appearance in The Menagerie does any justice to him as a disabled character. Did Gene always envision that kind of fate for him or did he simply seize upon it as a plot device in a desperate moment? I don't know, so in the end I decided to leave it more or less open. There would be considerable leeway for multiple options that would still allow him to serve the same role in this episode: he could be commanding another ship, he could retired and settled down somewhere, he could have suffered an accident as he did in canon and spend this entire episode talking through a voice synthesizer. Imagine whatever one feels most suitable to you.

This is only my own take on the story. I know it would have considerable repercussions to later Star Trek canon and I'm not going to make the claim that those repercussions themselves would be better than what actually happened. It's certainly a more hopeful ending than The Menagerie, on the whole, which may not be everyone's cup of tea. But it was an interesting exercise.

[mirrorfalls]

Lego Liveblogs ST: TOS, part 9 (of who-the-hell-knows-how-many?)

What Are Little Girls Made Of? Let’s just hope it’s more moral stuff than the last boy the Enterprise took onboard...

* I see we’re wasting no time getting the nurse to take over Yeoman Rand’s eyecandy duties. Shame that Barrett’s Number One characterization is a no-go now. * Huh, plot’s shaping up to be a redux on The Man Trap. Not a high bar to clear. * “Beam down alone, just yourself.” Yeah, that’s your cue to pack an extra-sized Phaser, Kirk. * Nice try, girls, but Spock still ain’t turning his head for either of you. * “Whoopsy daisies, almost forgot our sacrificial meat!” ** Wow, even I wasn’t expecting the sacrifice that quick! * That is one Scooby Doo-ass lookin’ villain ** Who’s on a whole shelf away from this assistant guy, which obviously means he’s totally fine and trustworthy! * Aaaaand you two goldbricks are officially on your own. * Does... it really make sense for a species to go underground when their sun’s too cold? I guess they’re supposed to be warmed by the geothermal stuff down there? * Alright, Gene I’m impressed. How’d you get an outfit like this past 1960s censors?! * Well, that escalated quickly. ** I’d wisecrack about Kirk’s choice of “tactic”, but I think I’m more disturbed by the fact he dialed his Phaser straight to “melt stomach” intensity before he knew he was shooting a robot. What happened to Stun Mode? * He breaks necks and does voices! Wotta guy. * Kirk, you gotta start thinking like a sci-fi protag. Who says that’s the real professor? ** Oh, okay, I guess he is the real professor, he’s just completely lost his marbles. * Hum - this seems to be sowing the seeds for Nurse Christine to save the day, and if any actress has that level of pull it’s Barrett, but once can never underestimate the sexism of ‘60s TV... ** Case in point: Andrea, who proves this isn’t just The Man Trap. It’s The Man Trap with Mudd’s Women thrown in for good measure. * Make up your mind, Prof, are you trying to keep this a secret or not? * Don’t be racist, Nurse. * Nah, Prof, if she were logical you would’ve been choking on your own spinal cord ages ago. * Funniest. Cliffhanger. Ever. ** Seriously, Kirk asks one stupid question and smash-cut to him in a Batman ‘66 deathtrap. ** Wait, is that the Piltdown Man? * “Choose, Christine. Which is your captain?” “Do I get a Phaser?” * Oh jeez, I’d heard there was an episode where the crew snagged a fake Kirk because he was being racist toward Spock, but I didn’t know it was because the real Kirk fed that racism into the fake one. * “What he's done may seem wrong...” Nurse, he killed two guys without blinking. It’s a good thing you’re feeding all this to robo-Kirk, because I’m not sure the real one would forgive you. * Okay, even money says robo-Kirk dies by getting force-fed something that makes him short-circuit. Irony at its most delicious. ** Alternatively: why not just ask it to calculate pi? ** And they say Starfleet siblings always come outta nowhere! * Okay, I’ve kicked this episode pretty hard so far, but the central point here is pretty solid sci-fi: can a machine ever be a proper receptacle for a human consciousness, however advanced its programming? On the other hand, should we get so high-and-mighty just because the electric impulses driving us come from meat instead of silicon? ** I also like how the professor isn’t a full-on “ALL emotion is Bad!” type. He’s not even opposed to sentimentality, necessarily - he just thinks you can program away all the negative bits. * Ooh, Godwin’s Royal Flush! That’s pretty rare. * Whoof. Okay, I know people usually like to paint Kirk and Bond as opposites, but this is a move worthy of any 00-agent. Doesn’t just give you a momentary hostage, but makes sure he’s in no position to give complicated orders even after you’ve tossed him. * Give the big guy some credit too - he knows he’s programmatically bound to obey Nurse Christine, so his solution to that is just running the fuck outta earshot. * Ah, the legendary Dong Rock. 50% more dong-y in context! * Heavens to Betsy! How will Kirk save himsel... ** By not saving himself, apparently. Seems the big guy heard Christine after all. * Love Spock’s “Has the Transporter been spewing evil clones again?” face. * So Kirk... logics(?) both the big bruiser and the sultry henchgirl into defying their master. Adherents of the Three Laws are no doubt crying, but personally I think it’s more hit than miss; no matter how airtight the programming, once an AI reaches a certain level of complexity it has to develop some kind of survival instinct. * Holy last-act plot twist! * Prof, maybe you shouldn’t have programmed her with Yandere chips. Just a thought. * But back to the he-was-a-robot-all-along! bit... it’s got a strong base, but I feel it refuses to quit while it’s ahead. The longer Kirk talks, the more his argument starts sounding like “If you’re really human then why don’t we like you? :|” * Aww, a murder-suicide to cap things off. Isn’t it romantic? * “Think up a better excuse than that, Captain, or my next message will be to Starfleet HR.” * Written by... the Psycho guy? That explains a lot.

I’m probably not even the hundredth guy to note this, but this is easily the pulpiest Trek script to come down the pike - the square-jawed hero who ain’t scared to get his hands dirty but really survives by his wits, the swooning damsel who gets to be useful exactly once, the mad doctor wielding Scary Foreign Knowledge that not only perverts every law of God and man but threatens to infiltrate our fair society, his Big Scary Humorless Thug and sultry (but dangerously jealous) henchgirl... 

There are parts where the sci-fi port improves things and even broaches legitimately interesting topics, and it’s a damn sight better than either The Man Trap or Mudd’s Women, but on the whole I don’t think I’ll be in a rush to rewatch this one. Without too many standout “What the fuck is this?!” moments, there’s nevertheless a kind of sleaziness to the whole thing...

(Those were some neat overalls, though.)

Next: The first of many Shakespeare-derived shows! Will the Bard be done proud?

[biscuitreviews]

Biscuit Reviews Star Trek Discovery (Season 2) (SPOILERS)

After watching the first season of Discovery, I thought, “what first season of Trek isn’t awful, maybe Discovery will hit its stride in the second season.” Then I watched the second season... 

That was a thing.

As mentioned previously in my season one review, technological inconsistencies will not matter and Lore will be taken on a case by case basis. Season 2 will be judged on Season 2 alone, but I will bring up Season 1 events if appropriate. I won’t be going over every episode as Season 2 had a continuing storyline.

Spoilers will be discussed so if you haven’t watched either the first or second season, you’ve been warned.

Season 2 immediately picks up where Season 1 left off, with the USS Discovery answering a distress signal from the USS Enterprise under the command of Captain Christopher Pike. With the Enterprise heavily damaged, Starfleet has tasked Pike to take command of Discovery to continue his mission on investigating seven signals that mysteriously appeared with no explanation.

Having Pike come in is once again an excellent way to bridge this series with the TOS timeline. We also get to see more of Pike himself as our only experience seeing Pike in action is the TOS pilot. Pike is a Captain that will do anything for the crew he serves. He upholds Starfleet’s ideals of peace and exploration. We even get to see Pike still continue to carry the guilt of being able to do nothing during the Federation/Klingon war, something that we also saw in the pilot episode of TOS which was a really nice touch of connecting that this Pike we are seeing is the same Pike from the pilot.

As for where we are exactly in accordance to the TOS timeline, Season 2 takes place at an undetermined amount of time after the events of the TOS pilot. However, from what I have observed with what Discovery presents to us, my guess would be we are about 8 years away from the first episode of Kirk’s command of the Enterprise which we saw in “The Man Trap”. Which would put the events of the pilot happening around the first or second year of Pike’s command of the Enterprise. Take that little detail with a grain of salt, but again, with what we’re presented, I feel this makes the most sense in terms of the timeline of the Prime Universe.

However, despite how awesome Pike was, I felt season 2 used him as a crutch to keep the series up. It seems that the second season wanted to highlight Pike as the main character rather than Michael Burnham, you know, who the series is actually supposed to be about?

Speaking of Michael, what’s her story this season? Finding Spock after he broke out of a psychiatric hospital. Why is Spock in a psychiatric hospital you might ask. He’s there because he’s connected to the seven signals somehow and believes that the creator of the signals, known as the “Red Angel” is communicating with him. Spock also enters a “logic breakdown” trying to figure out if the Red Angel is real or not, seeing how he’s the only person that has had any form of contact with this being.

We’ll get more to Michael’s story soon, but first let’s go ahead and address the elephant in the room. How is Spock in Discovery? He’s fine. I don’t have a problem with this Spock showing more of his emotional side as it lines up more with how Spock was portrayed in the pilot of TOS. However, what I do have a problem with the conflict he has with Michael Burnham and how the writers handled the rest of Spock’s family. Spock resents Michael, why does he resent Michael? The reason for said resentment is what I consider to be one of the most offensive things to happen to Spock himself.

Amanda Grayson, Spock’s mother, saying how she couldn’t give all her love and support to Spock because she didn’t want to confuse him with his Vulcan/Human heritages and being raised the Vulcan way.

What the fuck.

Look, I know canon established that Amanda had difficulties with raising Spock and how she faced challenges with the Vulcan upbringing. But even through all of that, she still showed her love towards Spock and did her best to give Spock the support he needed during his formative years. We’ve even seen Spock in TOS and the movies be very warm towards his mother, even AOS reflected this. To have Amanda say she gave everything to Michael not only gives more unnecessary resentment Michael faces to the longtime Trek audience, but also does a disservice to the established relationship between Amanda and Spock that we see in TOS and the movies.

Let’s not forget the other reason Spock has resentful towards Michael, because she called him a half-breed when they were kids. The reason Michael did that was also really weird, which was for the sake of protecting him from the Logic Extremists to show that they hated each other. I’m sorry, but I don’t think that would stop a terrorist organization trying to harm Spock. This seems like another case of the writers needing a patchwork reason to show why they never went after Spock as a child to uphold established Lore and that was what they came up with.

As for Spock himself, well my complaints for Spock are the same as Pike’s. He was used as a crutch for the season to keep interest, which was not necessary. A Spock appearance was inevitable with the adoptive nature he shares with Michael, but to have him play the large role was unnecessary, especially with what we learn about Michael’s connection with the Red Angel.

Now Sarek, this season, I will have to admit, he was handled much better than the previous season. We see a Sarek that cares for Spock, even partaking in Vulcan rituals to attempt to reach out to his son when Spock is missing. We see Sarek doing everything possible to help Spock. Even when he’s faced with a dilemma between turning Spock over to the Federation for questioning, we see that internal conflict he faces on whether it’s the best course of action. 

However, his reason for turning him over was a really dumb reason. 

“Because the Federation can take better care of Spock.” 

I’m sorry, but every piece of Lore, every Star Trek series, has shown that nothing can take care of a Vulcan better than another Vulcan when it comes to these mental issues. We see this in TOS, we see this in DS9, we see this in Voyager, and we see this in the movies. But it’s the thought that counts I guess? Not really.

Another reason for turning Spock over is that it’s because he believes in Spock’s innocence and that he believed it was logical to have Spock, Pike, and Michael provide their evidence regarding the Red Angel and why Spock didn’t commit the murders he was framed for. He knew that for Spock to be cleared, it was logical to appear cooperative and with the Discovery crew actively investigating the Red Angel and Spock’s alleged crime, it made sense. That part I get, and I wish that was just the reasoning, instead of tacking on the whole “Federation can take better care of Spock because of his condition.” It would have really highlighted Sarek’s loyalties to the Federation, while at the same time showing his love for Spock. But we didn’t get that. Instead we got the Federation can take better care of a Vulcan than another Vulcan.

Now, what about the other characters? Staments’ storyline dealing with the revival of his husband Dr. Culber I’ll admit is something I was not a big fan of. If anything the revival of Dr. Culber, got rid of the development and drive Staments had in the end of the first season and the need to want to leave Starfleet at the beginning of Season 2. It had the potential to tackle a sci-fi issue, is this alternate version of a character the same person, or are they a completely different person?

The initial answer I’ll admit was rather intriguing. Dr. Culber can recall the experiences, but those experiences are not his and he even stated as such. He even moves out of the shared quarters with Staments to figure out who he is as well as show that this Dr. Culber is indeed a different person. I was looking forward to the two of them getting reacquainted and see a new type of relationship develop. A new romance, a friendship, or maybe not get together at all. Instead, we got the new Culber picking the relationship back up with Staments without any real meaningful development or reasoning as to why he chose to re-enter said relationship. 

Now Trek has always played with character deaths. In fact, Voyager is a series that played with it alot, at least every character died at some point, but got revived because of either breaking time loops, changing the past, or having alternate universe versions just take over. The reason it worked with Voyager is because the crew were in an unknown part of galaxy and were doing everything possible to get back home. All of it was written and ingrained in Voyager’s story and DNA.

With Discovery, this felt more like a mistake they were trying to correct in season one by negating the “killing the gay” trope to be like “see, he’s not dead. It’s Trek, just write it off!” No, I’m not going to write that off, Alex Kurtzman, you just did more of a disservice towards these two characters just like the disservice that happened to them in season one.

Saru’s arc is not only amazing, but also in many ways relatable to his self-discovery as a Kelpian. We learn that Saru’s planet, his species actually used to be the oppressors towards the Ba’ul many years ago. Now that the Ba’ul have risen to power, they have turned their revenge on the Kelpians and are now oppressing them. Saru begins to enter a stage in a Kelpian’s life where it has been long believed that he is entering death. Instead he’s entering an evolution in his species. The fact that he doesn’t know what this new stage will do or how to go about it is very relatable. As a human person, I sometimes don’t know the inner workings of my body. Everytime we see a species in Trek, they know everything about their biology so to see an alien species actually not know something about theirs is very relatable.

I did love Tilly’s arc with communicating with the mycelinal network. Thinking she’s losing her grip of reality little by little, coming up with the conclusion on what was happening, reaching out for help when she needed it and the Discovery crew giving her actual honest help. If only they actually provided that level of support for another character that reached out for help. Don’t worry, I’ll be getting to Ash Tyler later. Hell, when Tilly was taken into the mycelinal network, Discovery did everything they could to get her out. The second part of her arc, which occured in the finale, was handled terribly in the writing sense as it actually required you to watch another series known as “Short Treks” to understand as it introduces a new character, Me Hani Iki Hali Ka Po (which I will refer to as Queen Po moving forward).

Yeah, I’ll deviate from Discovery a little to briefly mention Short Treks. Short Treks was meant to be more of a supplemental series telling short stories within the Trek universe. It’s a great idea for lore building but to have one episode required to understand how something in the finale happened left a bad taste in my mouth. 

Take Saru for example. He had a Short Trek episode that showed how he joined Starfleet. Yet it’s not required to watch as Saru gives what you need to know in the main series, but if you want the full experience you can watch the Short Trek episode or don’t, either way, you have everything you need. Even the Picard prologue episode doesn't require you to watch it first as again, what you need to know is in the series itself.

But Tilly’s episode regarding Queen Po, if you don’t watch it, you’ll be lost as to why this new character is important as well as her connection to Tilly.

So what about Ash Tyler, what’s he up to. He’s on Kronos!  Maybe he’s acting as a liaison between the Federation and the Klingons? Nope, he’s now the husband of the new Klingon Chancellor, who was his rapist. He forgave his rapist and then married her. 

Do the writers just not know what to do with him? 

I’m sorry are we going to forget everything that he went through in season 1? How he would enter a mental breakdown at the mere mention or sight of her. Are we going to forget all of the physical and mental abuse that was done to him, just sweep it under the rug and forget that everything happened because they now love each other? 

Look, I know canon established that Klingon women are very violent and physical towards their mates. But you know what Trek also established, that it was consensual when someone would engage with a Klingon in any sort of courtship or sexual relationship. But everything that happened to Ash Tyler wasn’t a part of Klingon culture and courting, it was not consensual, it was torture and rape in a time of war!

Look, the writers need to do better. He had some great potential to highlight issues such as PTSD and male rape victims. But it got bungled so hard that I don't even know how they can fix the mess they have made of his narrative. Would certainly be better for him if the writers stop trying to have him be a posterboy of issues that they clearly do not understand how to convey. 

Oh, they have a kid too. But the father was the Klingon who’s personality and soul was fused into Ash Tyler and now he needs to protect the kid, because reasons. So he and the Chancellor fake Tyler’s death and the death of their child. Those events bring him to join Section 31.

Now, Section 31 has been mentioned here and there in Trek lore, we would see their presence every now and then in DS9. We learn that Emperor Georgiou has actually become a member of Section 31 and would be an ally to the Discovery crew. Seeing a Mirror Universe person try to acclimate themselves to the way of life in the Prime Universe, which is a very drastic change compared to what she’s used to was a very refreshing change of pace involving anything that deals with the Mirror Universe. 

From being a leader of an empire that nearly brought the galaxy to its knees, to now taking orders from Starfleet. Not only that, but she must also obey her superior officers and report to her commanding officer, Leland. Whom in classic Mirror Universe fashion, does what she can to become a new commanding officer of the ship.

I’ll admit seeing more of this is something that I would like and I really hope that the Section 31 series starring Emperor Georgiou really takes off.

Leland will actually be our “big bad” for the season. He will be killed and have his body taken over by a Section 31 AI known as Control. Control’s immediate goal is to obtain consciousness, however, it’s the connection with the Red Angel that explains why Control is a threat.

The Red Angel is Michael’s mother, Gabrielle, who was thought to be dead. This actually added a lot to Michael’s backstory. Michael’s mother worked for Section 31 and was developing a time travel suit. Why was she working on a time travel suit? Because Section 31 obtained evidence that the Klingons were developing time travel technology. That little part I’m a bit weirded out on as I don’t think Klingons would even waste their time on time travel tech. Honestly that seems more like something a Romulan would do than a Klingon, but ok, I guess we’ll go with that.

When the Klingons attacked, she attempted to use the suit to go back in time to get her family out before the Klingons came. But, instead of going into the past, she ends up 950 years into the future, where Control has evolved and eradicated all life in the galaxy.

With Michael hoping for a joyous reunion with her mother, we find Gabrielle determined with one mission and one mission only, to stop Control. I actually really liked Gabrielle’s coldness towards Michael as it shows that she has been trying to stop Control for a long time. The exhaustion on her face, the zero emotion she had when reuniting with Michael and the sharpness of her dialogue delivery show a woman that has seen everything she cares for die in front of her repeatedly. So much so that Michael’s attempts to reach out to her are met with a callous mindset that Gabrielle knows too well. Why should she bother trying to reconnect with her daughter, if to her she’s simply going to die soon anyway for what is probably the thousandth time?

We even see Michael desperately trying to find some sort of connection, some sort of in to allow her mother to feel what she is feeling and that moment right there you really feel for Michael and just wish that her mother would at least hug her or something. 

It’s these moments that help Michael grow more as a character and help her stand on our own, without the need of Sarek or Spock holding her back. These moments show a Michael that just wants to save her mother, and show her that this long battle she has fought can end and that the future can change. Michael has lost her mother once and she is now in a position to save her.

This is how you bring a reunion, this is how you make a character standout. By having Michael show herself and her feelings. Not attach her to something that she really doesn’t need to be attached to for the sake of creating a connection with legacy characters for the buy-in. 

After the final battle and stopping Control, we see the USS Discovery and its crew find themselves 900 years into the future and that is where season 2 ends and where season 3 will begin.

Once again my main complaint is terrible writing that disrespects the characters. It disrespected Michael by having her continue to be held back by Sarek, Amanda, and Spock. It disrespected Spock by completely trashing his relationship with his mother. It disrespected Staments and Culber by just negating a major death from the previous season, tackle an interesting topic, and then just back out and move on like nothing changed. It disrespected Ash Tyler by continuing to have him be a representative of not-so-much talked about issues and still doing everything wrong on bringing awareness. 

Hopefully being in the future can free Michael and allow her to grow now that Sarek and Spock are no longer holding her back since they’re now dead. Hopefully this allows Ash Tyler to no longer be tortured by the writers ignorance. Hopefully, they stop messing around with Staments and Culber and actually show both of them starting a new relationship, or just have them both remain friends or show them finding new love. Also, I hated that they used this to essentially “test the waters” on their version of Pike and Spock to see if a new “Strange New Worlds” series would be welcomed. Despicable!

But with how the first two seasons have been so far, I’m not holding my breath.

Star Trek: Discovery Season 2 receives a 2 out of 5

[spacedancer1701]

The Curse (or: A Blessing In Disguise)

Fandom: Star Trek: The Original Series (TOS)  Pairing: McCoy / Uhura  Rating/Warning: Explicit (M) Word Count: 12.108

Read it on AO3: The Curse

Summary:  When an angry ambassador puts a curse on her, Uhura has needs, and McCoy is there to help. 

Part 1: The Problem

McCoy was standing to attention in the transporter room. His dress uniform felt especially uncomfortable today, and he couldn’t wait to get rid of it again, just like he couldn’t wait to get rid of this nasty excuse for an ambassador. In hindsight, even Elaan of Troyius had seemed friendly and well-behaved compared to him. If the rest of this new member planet’s population were anything like him, then God help the Federation!

The ambassador was as rude as they come and hadn’t missed a chance to put his foot in it. McCoy couldn’t shed the feeling that he’d enjoyed it, too. Had probably done it on purpose in the first place. He’d been arrogant and demanding. And highly disrespectful, especially of the female members of the crew. Uhura, who’d been chosen as his ‘personal assistant’, had taken the brunt of it, and McCoy had barely been able to keep his temper, witnessing the smart and amazing communications officer being insulted time after time.

Jim had been right, of course, Uhura was a woman who could take care of herself. And with her confident, kind and cheerful personality she’d probably been better suited for this job than any other crew member. But it had still been hard for the doctor to just stand by and watch her fight to keep her calm, and her seemingly never-ending patience.

McCoy stole a glance at Uhura, who was standing next to him. Judging from her unsmiling face, she definitely couldn’t wait to see the back of the ambassador, either. On entering the transporter room, the goon had even had the audacity to ask her to join him for the rest of his voyage.

When she’d politely declined and wished him a safe journey, swiftly avoiding his roaming hands, as she’d learned to do over the past three days, he’d looked at her with such rage and hatred, it had sent a cold shiver down McCoy’s spine. Yet, Uhura hadn’t blinked an eye, firmly standing her ground. And McCoy had never admired her more.

Now, the ambassador was standing on the transporter platform, rudely waving away Kirk’s parting words and addressing Uhura one final time.

“You’ll regret not coming with me, you’ll see, my sweet beauty,” he sneered. “You’ll slowly go insane without me, unable to help yourself, wishing I was still around to help you out. But I’ll be long gone. So good luck finding help elsewhere!”

And just before the transporter beam took him away, he blew her a kiss, adding, “Third time lucky!” and McCoy could have sworn he actually saw the words float over and dissolve around Uhura’s body.

As soon as the ambassador was gone, Jim exhaled noisily, turned on his heel and stomped out of the transporter room, closely followed by Spock, who seemed uncharacteristically relieved, too.

Bet he couldn’t have taken much more of this offending behaviour, either, McCoy thought, grinning wryly.

But when his gaze returned to Uhura, who still hadn’t taken a step towards the door, her tightly pressed lips and clenched fists took the grin right off his face again.

“Relax, Uhura,” he said reassuringly, “he’s gone now. And good riddance, too! You’ve done a terrific job. No one else could have handled him the way you did.”

She flashed him a grateful smile that didn’t reach her eyes, and he grew really concerned when he noticed that she was trembling.

“You alright, Lieutenant?” he asked softly, stepping towards her and putting a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Uhura shrank away from his touch, cringing as if his hand had scorched her.

“Don’t worry, Doctor, I’m all right,” she muttered under her breath, “I just need some peace and quiet.” And when he didn’t look convinced, reaching out for her again, she added an imploring, “Please!” then turned and fled from the transporter room, leaving a baffled and worried McCoy behind.

******

Uhura stumbled blindly towards the turbolift. She needed to get to her quarters as quickly as possible. Her whole body was on fire with an overpowering sexual desire that had hit her out of nowhere.

It had started the moment the ambassador had dissolved in the transporter beam, surprising her in a most embarrassing way, and she had a strong suspicion, that it had something to do with the ambassador’s final words. What must the doctor have thought of her?

Knowing how caring and easily worried McCoy was, she just hoped, he wasn’t coming after her. She was horny as hell and would probably jump his bones, no pun intended, right in the middle of a busy corridor, if he touched her again.

No, she needed to get to the privacy of her quarters ASAP and take care of her ever-growing need for relief.

Damn that ambassador! she thought angrily. This was the final insult.

As soon as the doors to her quarters had slid shut and locked behind her, she let out the groan that had been building in her throat for the past few minutes, and made a beeline for her bed, barely kicking off her boots on the way.

She flopped down on her back, not even bothering to remove her underwear or tights, and let her hands go straight to rub between her legs.

Only when the frantic movements of her fingers didn’t seem to have the slightest effect on her desperate situation, did she slip one hand inside her soaking wet panties, hoping to finally find relief with the clothes out of the way.

That definitely had an effect. The moment her fingers had found their way in between her swollen folds, barely touching her sensitive nub, her body was jolted by a piercingly lustful sensation, off every scale she’d ever known, that nearly made her arch off the bed.

Finally! She couldn’t have taken one more minute of this abnormal horniness.

But her relief was short-lived, when she realised that, instead of finally sending her over the edge, her fingers’ actions only served to take her arousal to the next level.

She cried out in frustration, tossing her head from side to side, then got up from the bed and frenziedly began to rub herself against anything she could find. Her couch, a chair, the knob of one of her drawers, a rolled-up terry cloth, even her hairbrush, quickly moving on to the next thing after the initial alleviation of the first few seconds had worn off.

Through the haze of her unbridled lust, she tried to kickstart her brain back into action and focus on finding a way out of this predicament. Her own hands were obviously not enough to put an end to her ordeal.

Suddenly she remembered a dildo that her friends had given her for her 30th birthday as a joke, and desperately started rummaging around for it in her drawers. Annoyingly, it was still in its original packaging, and she had a terribly hard time unwrapping it with shaking fingers, unable to concentrate or even stand still for a second.

When she’d managed to switch it on at last, she rushed back to her bed, hoping against hope that this would be the answer to her prayers. But of course, that wasn’t the case, and she was gripped by a terrible fear of being eternally stuck on the brink of orgasm, never achieving that final nudge that would send her over the edge.

Just then, her communicator beeped and Kirk’s voice nearly made her jump out of her skin.

“Bridge to Uhura!”

Uhura knew she had to answer that call, if she didn’t want a whole search team come looking for her. So she summoned up all her willpower and hoped her voice wouldn’t betray her.

“Uhura here, Sir!” she squeaked.

There was a short pause, then Kirk said, “You sound exhausted, Lieutenant, but that’s totally understandable. You did a great job with the ambassador. Why don’t you take the rest of the day off and treat yourself?”

Uhura was too weak to laugh at the irony of his words, and just closed the channel with a curt, “Thank you, Sir!” She could worry about her lack of politeness later.

All that mattered now was to get away from the voice that had filled her room, and her groins. She wouldn’t have lasted through a longer conversation. Funny, how she’d never noticed the captain’s sexy voice before. But every one of his words just now had felt like sensuous lips wrapped around her clit, sucking and licking and thrilling her to the core.

Just like McCoy’s comforting touch earlier, it suddenly dawned on her. No more than a friendly hand on her shoulder, it had felt like the most delicious caress of her private parts, raising her budding arousal to the highest levels of lust in a flash, and forcing her to flee from the transporter room on the double.

Unable to help yourself! the ambassador’s words echoed in her head. That was it! she realised with a start. That had been his cruel, sadistic plan! The sensation of unbearable arousal was momentarily replaced by an all-consuming rage, only to return a second later with full force.

What was she to do? A feeling of helpless despair joined the other emotions racing through her body, while her hand kept mindlessly rubbing her clit in a futile attempt to keep her need to climax at bay. She needed help, but who could she turn to?

She was friends with most of her crew mates, even close with several of her male colleagues. But not that close. She could hardly walk up to any of them, especially in her frenzied state of mind, and ask them to sleep with her in order to rescue her from some dubious curse. It would be mortifying. And they wouldn’t even believe her.

Suddenly it hit her. Dr. McCoy. He was a doctor and had certainly come across the most incredible and embarrassing health issues in his career. He was also the kindest, most caring and compassionate man she knew. And he’d been there and heard the ambassador’s words, too. He would believe her. And hopefully, he’d have a remedy, some sedative that would put her under until the ambassador’s curse lost its power over her.

Feeling hopeful at the thought, she got up to put her boots back on, wash the sweat off her face, and fix her hair as well as she could with one hand, while trying to keep her pulsing arousal in check with her other.

After she was done, it took her a while to summon up the will to remove her hand from her panties, and when she finally managed to, she sprinted out the door, making her way to sickbay in record time.

Part 2: The Solution

Dr. McCoy was just cleaning up after his last patient for the morning, thinking about what to have for lunch, when a panting, dishevelled looking Uhura came barging into his office without knocking.

Worried by her uncharacteristic behaviour, he hurried to her side, but stopped his hand mid-air, when he saw her shrink back from his touch, just like she had this morning in the transporter room.

“I need your help, Doctor,” she wheezed, her body convulsed with pain.  

He motioned her to a biobed, careful not to touch her, but she refused, shifting from one foot to the other, as if she were desperate for the bathroom.

“What’s wrong, Uhura? How can I help?” he asked, trying to sound calm and reassuring while running a tricorder over her twitching body.

Her pulse and blood pressure were up, her pheromone level slightly raised, and he could see that her pupils were dilated. But apart from that, she was perfectly healthy. A woman who’d just had sex, he concluded, getting more concerned by the minute, as his mind raced through all the possible reasons for her visit to sickbay.

“I’m so aroused, Doctor!” she blurted out.

McCoy did a double take at her surprising, yet medically correct statement, and, unsure how to reply, just raised a quizzical eyebrow at her.

“Help me, please!” she whispered entreatingly.

“You want my help with … this?” he chuckled nervously, really confused now.

“Doctor, please, this is not a joke,” she whimpered, wringing her hands and starting to pace. “And it’s beyond embarrassing, believe me, but I thought you might have a sedative or something to help me?”

“I’m afraid, I don’t follow,” the doctor said as soothingly as he could, his face a picture of compassion and confusion. “I get this is serious, but I’ll need a little more information. Try to relax and start from the beginning, please.”

Uhura let out a frustrated whine, then gave him an abridged version of what had transpired since the ambassador had left this morning, her desperation clearly outweighing her embarrassment.

“Son of a bitch!” the doctor muttered under his breath. So, he’d not been mistaken, when he’d seen the ambassador’s words actually hit Uhura this morning. He couldn’t imagine what she was going through, just the idea making him shudder. But he’d have to put aside all thoughts of hatred and revenge for now, and find a way to help the afflicted communications officer.

“You’ve already tried to ... er ... fix this yourself, I take it?” he asked, hoping not to sound too awkward.

Uhura just shot him an exasperated look.

“Right, of course you have,” he mumbled, scratching the back of his head. “Ok, let’s try a sedative.”

He filled a hypospray and injected Uhura, closely observing her for any reactions.

“Nothing,” Uhura told him after some moments, and the disappointment on her face was heart-breaking.

“All right, there’s another one we can try,” he told her in his most optimistic doctor’s voice.  

Another hypospray hissed against Uhura’s arm.

“I’m feeling a little dazed now,” she sounded hopeful, “but the ... er ... feeling’s still there. Almost worse than before.”

She groaned with frustration, wriggling about, her hand moving in the direction of her private parts several times, obviously desperate to touch herself.

McCoy’s heart went out to her, and he racked his brains for another solution.

“Please, Doctor,” she begged, “try another one!”

“I can’t, Uhura, I’m sorry. A third sedative would be irresponsible.”

“But I can’t take any more of this. I just can’t!”

Seeing her dismay nearly tore him apart.

“We’ll have to find another way.”

He’d said we. Uhura could have kissed him.

“What did the ambassador say exactly?” he asked. “Good luck finding help elsewhere?”

Uhura nodded slowly, losing herself even more in the haze of her lust, thanks to the sedative.

“That could mean that, although you can’t help yourself, someone else might,” the doctor went on, feeling more than a little uneasy at where his reasoning was taking him. He couldn’t, could he? But then, Uhura was in agony, he had to help her somehow. And he just couldn’t think of any other way.

“Do you trust me, Uhura?” he asked gently, trying to catch her eye.

“Implicitly,” she smiled, hardly able to fight the urge to push him down on his chair and straddle him.

“I might have an idea there, but it’s rather... er ... delicate. Unethical, really.”

“Anything you suggest, Doctor!” she gasped. “Please, I can’t think straight anymore. But I trust you.”

“Come on, then,” he drawled, fully aware of the responsibility she’d just put on him, and beckoned her to follow him into the adjacent private examination room, closing the doors behind them and engaging the privacy lock.

“Lie down on the biobed, will you?” he said softly.

“Are you going to sleep with me, Doctor?” Uhura asked, sounding almost hysterical, as she climbed onto the bed and lay on her back.

“No,” he laughed nervously, “something a little less drastic.” Then he stepped to her side, looked straight into her eyes and murmured, “Still unethical, though.”

Uhura fidgeted around restlessly, unable to suppress the desperate, grinding motions of her hips any longer.

“Whatever you think might end this agony, Doctor. Surely, you’ve noticed that I’m beyond embarrassed by now. Just get on with it, please, I’m at the end of my tether.”

McCoy took a deep breath and put on some surgical gloves.

“All right, let’s do this. You can file a complaint later,” he chuckled in an attempt at humour, then, stepping back to the side of the biobed, quickly added, “I promise to keep this as professional as possible.”

Uhura nodded weakly, exhaustion clouding her beautiful face.

“Can you take off your underwear, please?” McCoy asked. But when he watched her ineffectively fumble around her skirt with trembling fingers, a surge of tender affection for her rushed through him, and he swiftly pulled off her tights and underpants, neatly folding them on a nearby chair.

He exhaled deeply, closed his eyes for a moment and tried to summon up at least some of his professional detachment. This was a patient in need, and he was a healer, doing everything in his power to help.

Slowly and carefully he put his hands on Uhura’s hips to give her a chance to get used to his touch. When her twitching intensified and she grunted impatiently, he slid one hand across her thigh, gently parted her swollen labia with his fingers, and let his thumb glide through the excessive wetness, lightly grazing the tip of her clitoris.

Uhura cried out at the touch, nearly arching off the biobed, her sensitivity heightened to the extreme, and the doctor pulled back immediately.

“I’m sorry, Uhura. I should have been more careful,” he apologised, secretly wondering if that would even have been possible.

“It’s all right, Doctor,” Uhura panted, “I had the same reaction to my own fingers. The ambassador’s curse has obviously heightened my senses on top of everything else. I’ll get used to it. Please don’t give up!”

“I won’t,” McCoy promised, placing his hand back between her legs, determined to be even more gentle this time. And to disregard the extremely unprofessional bulge growing in his own trousers.

Uhura’s reaction to his second touch was less intense, if not significantly, and he continued to let his thumb and fingers dance over her slick and swollen pearl, alternating between lazy circles and rapid drumming, light tapping and steady rubbing, making her howl and moan and sigh and beg.

“Don’t worry, sickbay is soundproof. No need to hold back”, he reassured her, when she clamped her hands over her mouth, trying to keep the noise down.

Maybe she was always this noisy, or maybe the frustratingly long time of pent-up lust had taken its toll. Whichever, he’d definitely never met a woman as sensitive to his touch before.

“Yes, yes, yes, oh my God!” she squealed, “This is so good! Please, don’t stop! Don’t ever stop!”

Not helping! McCoy thought, finding it increasingly hard to ignore his own growing erection.

Uhura was lost in her own world now. The sensations that rippled through her body were incredible. She’d thought she’d been as aroused as anyone could get before, but the doctor’s nimble fingers were driving her even higher. The rumours about his skilled surgeon’s fingers seemed to be true after all.

The fog of frustrated horniness clogging her mind had been lifted, and she was floating on a sea of delicious, indescribable lust. The teasing fingers were even more unbearable than all the things she’d tried before in her quarters. The only difference being that she could now actually feel herself getting closer to orgasm.

She’d always found the doctor handsome and attractive, and they’d flirted a lot over the years, but he’d never shown interest in anything more than friendship, and she’d been all right with that.

But now she could feel herself falling for him, for this kind and caring man, for this incredibly skilled lover. The way he refused to look at her, keeping his eyes fixed on a far point on the wall, doing everything to stick to his promise of keeping this professional while pleasuring her in the most delicious ways, was simply adorable.

McCoy was trying hard to keep his mind off his own growing need. Not an easy feat, given that his fingers were busy stimulating a woman’s intimate parts, drenched in the most intoxicating fragrance.

And it wasn’t just any woman, either. It was Uhura! One of the most beautiful and brilliant women he’d ever met, and certainly the hottest girl on the Enterprise. They’d flirted a lot over the years, but she was so out of his league, she’d never really taken him seriously.

Yet now, here she was, moaning and writhing ecstatically under the touch of his hand. The whole situation was so unreal, he just couldn’t get his head around it.

He tried to fight the urge to look at her, but once he snuck a peek and saw her beautiful face, scrunched up with overwhelming pleasure, he just couldn’t take his eyes off again.

And when she finally came, delirious with relief and the sheer intensity of her orgasm, arching uncontrollably into his hand, her body trembling and jolting so hard, McCoy could barely keep her safely on the biobed, the image of her lovely face, flushed with overwhelming pleasure, eyes squeezed shut in complete surrender, got indelibly burnt into his memory, as his eyes soaked up every little “Oh” and “Ah” and “Mmhhh” of her pretty mouth.

To see this goddess climax was like a dream come true. In the throes of passion, she was even more beautiful. More than he could ever have imagined. Surely, he could be professional and still keep this image as a treasured memory, a gift, for lonely hours.

Uhura felt like she’d just died and gone to heaven. She’d never come this hard before, never felt such pleasure at the hands of a man. Was it the curse or the doctor’s skill? she wondered.

But then again, she’d never been under such a sadistic spell before, never been held in suspense for such an unbearably long time before. No wonder her body went crazy, when relief finally set in.

McCoy waited patiently for her to come off her high. Mesmerised by the display of emotions that coursed through her sweat-covered body, plainly visible on her glistening face. He’d never thought it possible for a single orgasm to last this long, but then, of course, he’d never teased a woman as long as Uhura had had to endure it by the hands, or rather the mind, of the obnoxious ambassador.

The doctor was certainly glad that his “cure” had worked and the poor woman had finally found the much-needed relief.

When Uhura relaxed at last, still breathing hard, opening her eyes with a grateful, if exhausted smile, and he could finally pull his hand away, he almost felt deprived.

They smiled at each other awkwardly for a moment, not quite sure what to say or do next, until Uhura found back to her old, confident and humorous self again.

“I guess I needed that,” she chuckled, stating the obvious and making McCoy laugh.

Then she added more seriously and with heartfelt gratitude, “Thank you, Doctor, for doing this for me. And for doing it so graciously. And so well, too,” she couldn’t resist adding as an afterthought, making the doctor blush bashfully, something she’d never seen before.

“Seriously, Doctor. You saved me. I owe you big time.”

But before the doctor could respond, she suddenly shuddered and started to convulse again, lifting disbelieving eyes to McCoy.

“No!” she wailed despairingly, “This can’t be happening! How sadistic can even that bastard of an ambassador be?”

McCoy was momentarily speechless, but found his voice again after a moment.

“What were the ambassador’s exact words again?” he asked as he watched Uhura frantically press a hand between her legs through her uniform skirt.

“’Can’t help myself’,” Uhura croaked.

“Yes, I know. Also, ‘to find help elsewhere’. But was that it?” McCoy gently urged. “Or did he say anything else?”

“’Third time lucky’,” she ground out between spasms, her whole body jolted by uncontrollable arousal again.

The doctor snapped his fingers.

“That’s it!” he exclaimed excitedly. “We just have to do this again!”

His expression sobered, when he caught Uhura’s incredulous look.

“You’re prepared to do this again, Doctor? Twice?” she asked hoarsely.  

“Well, in for a penny, in for a pound, as they used to say in the olden days,” he grinned wryly. “I can hardly leave you high and dry now, can I?”

“Thank you, Doctor,” she whispered, too weak and needy to protest anymore, and grateful for his offer to ‘treat’ her again.

“Just lie back down, Lieutenant, and enjoy the ride,” he joked, earning him a stern look from the communications officer.

“Sorry, Uhura,” he added contritely, pulling clean surgical gloves over his hands, “I didn’t mean to make fun of you. I’m just trying not to feel too awkward here.”

She nodded, smiling weakly, and tried not to think about how much she was actually looking forward to his skilful touch.

When she was lying on her back again, digging her fingers into the sides of the biobed and involuntarily grinding her hips, she felt McCoy’s hands gently push up her skirt before resting his fingers on her hips once more.

He was so careful and considerate, wonderful qualities she usually loved in a man, but right now, she just wanted to shout at him to please get on with it already.

After another tantalisingly long moment, he eventually let his hands glide towards where she so desperately needed them, making her gasp with desire when he gently spread her outer labia with one hand while slowly zoning in on her clit with the fingers of his other hand.

She thought she’d never longed for anything as much as she now longed for him to touch her swollen nub, and when he finally did, her whole body shuddered with the pleasure of the sensation.

Like before, he let his nimble fingers dance deftly over her most sensitive spots, sending delicious ripples of lust though her body. But while her desire was rapidly rising to unprecedented heights, she could feel herself drifting further and further away from relief.

McCoy obviously noticed the difference, too, because when she managed to open her eyes and look at him through the haze of her horniness, he frowned at her questioningly.

“Not working, is it?” he asked quietly, his disappointed face almost making her laugh.

“No,” she shook her head, unable to hide her growing despair, imploring eyes boring into his, nearly breaking his heart.

Judging from her wild bucking and animalistic grunts, she was in no state to contribute any useful ideas anymore. Finding a solution was totally up to him now, he realised, thankful that the absurdity of the situation somewhat took his mind off his own aching need.

“Maybe we need a different approach this time, a new sensation,” he speculated, while making sure his fingers kept rubbing her clit at a steady pace, having tried to slow down a couple of times, only causing her to frantically claw at his hand. But Uhura was already too far gone for any helpful input.

The easiest thing to elicit a new sensation, it occurred to him, was to simply remove the gloves. He felt bad about having to stop his ministrations momentarily in order to do so, mouthing, “Sorry, my dear,” when the communications officer let out a remonstrative wail.

She was, however, immediately compensated for her anguish, when she felt the touch of his bare hands on her skin.

Briefly trailing his fingers up along the inside of her thighs, making her tingle all over, he went straight back to the centre of her desire, his first light tap on her clit sending a bolt of lightning through her. Her whole body tensed at the intensity of the sensation, and she bucked wildly, letting out the loudest cry yet.

Satisfied with her reaction, McCoy gave her a moment to recover, then continued his skilful ministrations, trying out various techniques, amazed, yet again, at her responsiveness. And annoyed at his own, which was really becoming a nuisance.

After a while, Uhura felt her unbearable frustration give way to enjoyable desire, and was finally coherent enough again to thank McCoy for finding yet another solution to her predicament.

“Thank you for not giving up, Doctor,” she rasped, her voice rough from groaning and squealing.

“Don’t mention it,” he replied with an almost smug smile, unsuccessfully trying to hide the pride in his masculine prowess while making a mental note to give her some water to drink as soon as he had his hands free again.

He knew, of course, that the decent thing to do would be to take her to orgasm as quickly as possible. But watching her writhe so ecstatically under his fingers a little longer was just too tempting.

Now that he had the once-in-a-lifetime chance to pleasure her, he might as well make the most of it.

How he’d have liked to kiss her, caress the rest of her glorious body! But there was no way he could do that, of course. He’d promised her and himself to keep this as professional as possible. Anything else would really be unethical. But even so, he could still show her what the good old reliable country doctor could do with his hands.

On impulse, while never stopping his light tapping and drumming on her clit, he slowly trailed one finger of his other hand along her pussy, ever so gently circling and pushing against her entrance.

Uhura’s eyes went wide at this incredible sensation, and an excited gasp exploded from her lips, prompting McCoy to probe a little deeper.

She purred and sighed as McCoy once again managed to drive her desire to the next level, bestowing all those multiple sensations on her. How could she never have seen before what a sensuous man he was? And more to the point, how would she ever again be able to settle for anything less, once this whole mortifying ordeal was over?

She was jolted out of her thoughts when his probing finger hit her G-spot, teasingly curling against it, clearly knowing exactly how to elicit maximum effect, almost making her fly off the handle.

“Oh my God! You’re killing me!” she groaned, arching and bucking like a maniac, her hypersensitive body trying to get away from the tantalising stimuli on both her clit and G-spot.

“Actually, I’m trying to do the opposite here,” McCoy replied softly, skilfully following her every move with his fingers to keep teasing the exactly right spots. Uhura could hear the smile in his voice. “But you might as well enjoy it.”

“I don’t think, I’ve ever enjoyed anything more,” she breathed, barely able to speak any longer. “This is incredible.”

When she’d come the first time, McCoy’s plan had been, under the pretence of cleaning up and giving her privacy, to escape to his office as soon as possible in order to take care of his own straining erection that he just hadn’t been able to suppress. Sure, he was a healer, but he was also a man. And this ‘treatment’ was certainly more than any doctor could administer without being affected.

But when she’d clung to his hand, clamping her thighs around it, unthinkingly using it to ride out the waves of a seemingly endless orgasm, the chance for that had passed.

Then the second ‘phase’ had started so abruptly, and all thoughts of taking care of his own needs had gone straight out the window.

This time, however, he didn’t even think about getting away, but let her ride out her orgasm on his gently pulsing finger, using his remaining fingers to lightly keep teasing her clit until she couldn’t take any more and sank back on the bed, completely blissed out.

When he gently slipped his hand out from between her legs, she opened her eyes the tiniest bit and murmured, “You’re a dark horse, Dr. McCoy. You sure know what you’re doing!”

And when he grinned, an endearing mixture of pride and embarrassment on his face, she let her gaze slide down to where his crotch was pressed against the biobed, subtly grinding against the edge to stave off his own increasing need.

“Oh Doctor! I’m sorry!” Uhura cried out. “I was so caught up in my own ordeal, I wasn’t thinking what this would do to you! Will you let me help you out in return? I certainly owe you.”

“Absolutely not!” he blustered, his face flushing a deep red. “You came to me for help, and that’s what I did. No more, no less. We really need to keep this professional.”

Uhura couldn’t help but smirk.

“As professional as possible,” he relented grumpily. “But I could never take advantage of your predicament. I couldn’t live with myself if I did.”

“I know,” she smiled, believing him without a doubt and feeling herself falling even deeper for this impossibly sexy gentleman.

All thoughts about his pulsing erection, however, were forgotten when Uhura started to moan and spasm again, signalling the beginning of the third and hopefully last ‘phase’.

There was no question of what to do anymore. Without hesitation, Uhura lay back down, spreading her legs and twitching in anticipation, as McCoy mentally prepared himself for the next round.

“Here we go again,” he said smilingly, and Uhura chuckled between her moans, whispering, “So sorry, Doctor! But thank you!”

Somehow it wasn’t as awkward as before, the whole episode having brought on a new feeling of intimacy between them. Uhura’s heart skipped a beat as she felt the doctor tenderly caress the inside of her thighs before spreading them a little wider.

But as soon as he touched her most sensitive spot, making her sigh with pleasure, and gently inserted a finger, being rewarded with a low moan and a lazy sway of her hips, they both noticed quickly that the tell-tale hypersensitive jerk was missing. Again.

“I guess I’ll have to come up with something new yet again,” McCoy sighed, but it was clear that he was accepting the challenge.

They exchanged glances, and even though Uhura was already lost in a haze of unbearable lust again, he could see the gratefulness in her eyes. The way she trusted him moved him deeply. They were in this together, and he would get her through this. Uhura’s own little private pon farr.

“Why don’t you just take me, Doctor?” she purred, “I’m going crazy here, and that way you’ll find relief, too.”

“We’ll keep that in mind as a last resort, Uhura,” he smiled, slowly circling her clit with a finger, then moving on to tapping it with two fingers ever so lightly, teasingly, trying to find the right touch that would send her over the edge again.

But all that did was increase her arousal to unbearable heights that felt like eternal, unsatisfiable ecstasy to her.

“Please Doctor, this is cruel, I can’t take any more,” she moaned huskily.

“Ok, let’s try this then,” he said tentatively, moving to the low end of the bed to stand between her legs, grasping her hips with both hands and pulling her towards him in one swift move.

Then he bent down, burying his head between her trembling thighs.

“Oh my God, Doctor, I can’t ask this of you!” Uhura cried out, as the feeling of his teasing fingers, spreading her labia apart at an agonisingly slow rate, almost made her pass out.

But when she jerked and let out a choked scream at the first breeze of his breath blowing softly over her dripping wet clit, they both knew this was it. The new sensation that would hopefully lead to her third and final release.

Encouraged by the proof of having found the right way, McCoy let his tongue trail softly along the insides of her folds, gently pushing inside and lightly brushing against her clit.

The touch was electric, her reaction tremendous. Pressing hard against his mouth, she clenched her thighs tightly around his head. Losing her mind as well as all sense of time and space, all she could do was give herself to him completely and trustingly.

Feeling the situation get out of hand, McCoy fought hard to keep control. Her taste, her smell, her passion, were intoxicating, and he had to remind himself sternly, that none of this was her choice but the consequence of a cruel and sadistic curse.

He had to be careful not to get carried away. And yet, this was so much more than taking care of a patient or even helping out a friend. This was the third time in a row, that his ministrations had rendered this gorgeous woman ecstatic. And for some reason he wanted to excel himself, wanted this to be the most exciting, most satisfying experience of her life.

For every little flick of his tongue, a squeal escaped her. Every time he so much as breathed, he was rewarded with a twitch and a groan. The tip of his tongue made her scream out in blissful agony, and the strokes of the flat of his tongue nearly made her arch off the bed.

Uhura gripped the edge of the biobed, her fingers ineffectively scrabbling around for purchase, her desire burning so hot inside her, she thought she might die.

The way he licked and nibbled and sucked and hummed, turning her innards to mush and her clit into an erupting volcano, was almost more than she could take.

If she’d been impressed by the skill of his much-lauded surgeon’s fingers earlier, they paled in comparison to the sheer magic of his tongue. She’d had skilful lovers before, but she’d never been brought to the brink of insanity so splendidly before.

And even though she couldn’t wait for this embarrassing and crippling ordeal to be over, part of her wished McCoy’s ministrations would never end.

Who would have thought the curmudgeonly doctor had it in him? How many women had he blessed with his skills before her? And not in the line of duty, but because he desired them, was maybe even in love with them?

The very idea almost blew her mind. If this was what he did for a patient, how much more would he do for the woman he loved?

That thought, along with the additional stimulation of a gentle finger starting to tease her G-spot again, pushed her over the edge for the third and hopefully final time.

She was a little surprised and more than grateful when the doctor didn’t pull away, but kept on licking and sucking, allowing her to arch and grind and press against his face as wave after wave of indescribable pleasure washed over her, drinking her dry, until she fell back, boneless and utterly exhausted.

Feeling lightheaded, McCoy straightened up slowly, his knees weak, his face burning with bliss and shame and Uhura’s juices, hardly believing what he’d just experienced.

Unable to restrain himself any longer, yet in no position to deal with his aching erection that almost burst his pants, he’d actually come in his uniform trousers. Like a freaking teenager!

This had never happened to him before, not even in his youth, his only excuse being the aggravating circumstances of this absolutely weird and unusual situation.

Trying to think of the best way to excuse himself quickly in order to go and clean up this mess, he looked down at Uhura and found her fast asleep, the sight of her slender body, out cold on the biobed, filling him with the warmest feeling of affection.

Barely able to tear his eyes from her lovely face, blissed out and peaceful in sleep, he found a blanket and tenderly tucked her in.

Still a little unsteady on his legs, he stalked back to his office to clean up and find some spare clothes, all the time wondering how to face Uhura when she woke up again.

He’d always enjoyed their easy banter and mild flirting, safe in the knowledge of their friendship. But they could hardly go back to that after this, could they?

It was going to be awkward between them. For the time being, at least. But it had been worth it, he suddenly thought, and not only because it had saved her. Whatever the consequences, seeing and feeling and tasting her like this had definitely been worth it.

Feeling an exhilarating rush of happiness rippling through him, he stepped towards the doors, ready to face the world again. And Uhura. Only to find her gone already.

He could understand her motives, of course, comprehending her need to get away from him as quickly as possible. She was certainly mortified now. Possibly even disgusted with what he’d done to her. He should have thought harder, should have come up with a more acceptable cure. She had trusted him. And he’d let her down.

It was only mid-afternoon, but he felt incapable of finishing his shift, the weight of his conscience almost crushing him. Uhura had come to him looking for help, and he’d betrayed her trust. And his oath.

Ignoring the questioning glances of his staff, he hurried out of sickbay, heading straight for the safety of his quarters, wanting to stay there and hide forever.

Part 3: The Reward

Uhura was pacing the tiny space of her quarters. She was so very tired and exhausted, but there was no way she could rest now. Her mind was in turmoil.

When she’d woken up in sickbay earlier and, after the first blissful moment of ignorance, it had all come rushing back to her – the ambassador, the curse, and that Dr. McCoy had practically just been forced to have sexual interactions with her, she’d panicked and just run off, grateful that the doctor wasn’t around.

Just thinking about it now was so embarrassing, she had no idea how she could ever face him again. Although the idea of not seeing him again, apart from being more than unlikely living on a starship, hurt just as much. She’d never realised before how much McCoy’s friendship really meant to her. How much she enjoyed and relied on his comforting presence on the bridge and in her life.

She’d always had a soft spot for the kind and gentle doctor, who kept boosting her confidence with his charming compliments, and so often made her laugh, listening to him lecturing the captain or bickering with Spock. But after the events of today, she seemed to have developed a proper crush. The memory of his gentle hands, and what they’d done to her, sent hot waves of desire through her body. Not to mention his lips and tongue.

But it wasn’t just that. Although it was all still a bit of a blur, she also vaguely remembered the soft blue eyes, watching her so intently in an effort to give her exactly what she needed. And the determination to do whatever it took to help her. He was that kind of doctor, of course. She’d been witness to his devotion as a healer numerous times before. But it had seemed even more than that in this case. The way he’d touched her, looked at her, had made her feel like more than just a patient to him.

Then again, maybe that had just been wishful thinking on her part. Her way of dealing with the embarrassment. She definitely needed time to think about it all. Do a little soul searching. Examine her feelings for the doctor, now that she was no longer under the ambassador’s spell.

Suddenly she felt bad for having run off like that, and it occurred to her that he might actually think she’d fled because he’d done something wrong. That would be just like him. He’d been quite anxious about the whole thing being unethical in the first place, if she remembered correctly. And yet he’d gone through with it to put her out of her misery.

She definitely needed to set things straight. And fast, too. After all he’d done for her, the last thing she wanted was for him to feel bad about it. Maybe she could even do something towards returning the favour, a little voice in her head piped up, suddenly remembering the effect this whole affair had actually had on him, too. He’d tried to deny it, of course, but the tell-tale bulge in his trousers had been quite impressive. Maybe there was a chance for more than friendship, after all?

Before she could lose her nerve again, she left her quarters in order to return to sickbay. And when a slightly bemused Christine told her that McCoy had left in a hurry, and in an extremely bad mood, she headed straight for his quarters, hoping to find him there.

******

McCoy was lying on his bed in the dark, depressed and worried, his mind running over the events of the past hours on a repeat loop.

How could he have let himself get into this? How could he have been so irresponsible and unethical? And above all, what was he going to do about it? How could he fix this? Would Uhura ever be able to forgive him? Would he ever be able to forgive himself and work as a physician again?

Being a healer, taking care of people, that was all he’d ever wanted. It was his life. And yet, this time, he’d gone too far, had betrayed his patient’s trust in his endeavours to help, to heal.

How could he ever look Uhura in the eye again and not feel like having violated her. A lonely tear ran down his face as he thought of the lovely lieutenant and how he might have taken that happy, confident spark from her eyes for good.

His only option was to apologise to her and then request transfer to another ship ASAP. Maybe, if she didn’t have to see him anymore, she could heal again, regain her equilibrium. And yet, just the thought of leaving the Enterprise sent another tear down his cheek.

Just then, his door buzzer went off, but he decided to simply ignore it, not wanting to deal with whoever was out there interrupting his misery. A moment later, Uhura’s melodic voice made him jump off the bed.

“Can I talk to you, Doctor?”

He briefly considered refusing to let her in, afraid that being alone with him in his quarters would compromise her even further, but eventually decided that that would be rude. She was an adult and coming here had been her choice, after all. No one had forced her to.

Turning up the lights, he quickly slipped on a blue uniform tunic for a more formal appearance, and went to meet her at the door, where he nearly collided with her, as she eagerly rushed in.

“I’m so sorry I ran off like that,” she gushed, “but when I woke up and remembered everything I’d just put you through, I simply didn’t know how to face you again and took the coward’s way out.”

After she’d let out this torrent of words, she seemed to deflate, looking up at him expectantly. But he was too flabbergasted to reply. His mind racing, all he could do was stare at her, baffled. Had she really just said that she had put him through this? The thought had never even occurred to him, making him almost giddy with relief.

When he didn’t react, her conscience grew even heavier, and she felt the need to further explain herself.

“I was mortified, Doctor,” she went on. “You’d just done all those things for me, and I didn’t want to burden you with my confused feelings and mixed up emotions on top of that.”

“Uhura, I …,” he began hesitantly, gently putting his hands on her shoulders, his heart hammering against his ribs as he took in her anxious face and apologetic smile. “I just did what I had to. What was necessary to take away your … er … pain. None of this was your fault, you have nothing to be ashamed of. Or to be sorry for.”

Uhura cast her eyes down, moving in a little closer, and the heat of her body nearly took his breath away.

“What you did, how you made me feel, was unlike anything I’ve ever felt before,” she continued quietly. “And it meant so much more to me than just the gratification of my needs. But I needed to get away to sort out my feelings. Make sure I was no longer under the ambassador’s spell. I needed to be sure that what I felt was real.”

“What did you feel?” he asked breathlessly, his voice even deeper than usual, his hands gently squeezing her shoulders, pulling her even closer and gazing tenderly into her beautiful eyes.

Uhura let herself be drawn into his embrace, resting her forehead against his chest, and McCoy wrapped his arms around her, breathing in the sweet fragrance of her hair.

“I came here to show you,” she murmured softly into the fabric of his tunic. “To thank you and,” she paused, lifting her head to look at him again, her eyes taking on a mischievous glint, “to reciprocate.”

McCoy’s knees nearly gave way. This was all so unexpected, and yet felt like he’d waited for it all his life.

“You know, you don’t have to, Lieutenant,” he drawled, blue eyes shining bright with tender affection. Then, reaching out and lovingly cupping her face in his hands, he added, “And just so you know, I’d do it all over again in a blink, if you needed me to.”

Now she looked as if she was going weak at the knees, too.

“What if I needed you right now?” she whispered, stepping closer yet, and moulding herself against his body.

Wrapping her arms around his waist, she could feel his hardness against her stomach. And pressing up against him, slowly rolling her hips from side to side, she smiled to herself, when she heard his sharp intake of breath.

Yes, she would reciprocate all right, she thought with relish. Every little touch, driving him as high as he’d lifted her, making him come as hard as she had. Three times at least. Or maybe more. There was no hurry, was there?

“Nyota,” he murmured softly into her hair, his breath coming out raggedly now, his usually so steady hands trembling a little, as his fingers tenderly rubbed her back, massaging her pert little bottom and pulling her closer into him. “What are you doing to me?”

“Whatever you need me to, Leonard,” she replied with a smile, her melodic voice low and soft, lifting her face to his lips and drawing him into the gentlest, deepest kiss, lips and tongues entwining, communicating all the emotions that were too hard to put into words just yet.

When they drew apart again after the longest time, she looked deeply into his eyes, holding his gaze and trying not to drown in their deep blue warmth.

“I’ve known and admired you for so long now, Leonard, but it took an abominable ambassador and an embarrassing curse for me to fully appreciate your kindness and devotion and finally see the wonderful, impossibly hot and sexy man behind the gentle doctor.”

Hearing her words, McCoy’s heart melted, only to be further reduced to a puddle around his feet, when she almost inaudibly added, “I think I might be in love, Leonard,” and shyly averted her eyes, hiding her face in the folds of his shirt.

Tenderly cradling her head against his chest, the doctor cleared his throat and tried to find his voice again.

“I’ve been in love ever since I first saw you, sweetheart,” he murmured, his accent thickening with emotion. “But I’d never have expected you to return the feeling in a million years. You’re a goddess, Nyota, and I’m just a plain old country doctor.”

Uhura smiled, hearing the familiar words.

“Stop belittling yourself, Leonard,” she admonished. “Or do you need to hear me praise your heart of gold, your good looks, your brilliant mind, let alone your magic touch, and I’m talking hands, lips and tongues here?”  

“Speaking of which,” he cut her off, clearly embarrassed by her praise, and let his hands glide down her sides. “Shall we deal with that renewed need of yours now?”

But Uhura stilled his roaming hands with her own, gently steered him over to his bed and pushed him down until he was lying on his back.

“I’m afraid this will have to wait for a while,” she said, her eyes twinkling mischievously. “A very long while, at that, since I have a lot of reciprocating to do first.”

She smirked, enjoying the lustful gleam in his eyes, followed by a drawn-out groan, when she put a firm hand over the bulge in his trousers and started to gently stroke him through the smooth material.

“Oh my God,” she breathed, impressed, “you’re so hard already! Is that for me?” And grinning widely, she innocently fluttered her eyelashes at him.

He just rolled his eyes and groaned some more, pressing against her hand, desperate for more friction.

“Stop the teasing, woman,” he growled, his voice full and deep with desire, grabbing both her hands and pulling her onto him until her face was only inches from his, her light frame pressing down on his body pleasantly.

McCoy let go of her hands and put his arms tightly around her, sighing with the sheer pleasure of holding her close. But when his lips found hers, brushing them tenderly, she pulled back resolutely and lifted herself off him again.

Before he could protest, she put a gentle finger to his lips and whispered, “Later, sugar. There’ll be a time for all of this later. But for now, I want you to relax and just,” she paused, chuckling a little, “enjoy the ride. You’ve more than earned it.”

“But I can’t!” he whined. “I need to touch you, kiss you, feel you!”

“Shush, sugar,” she remained firm, pinning his hands to the bed. “It’s my turn now. A lot of reciprocating, remember?”

McCoy exhaled deeply, feeling his erection straining ever more painfully against his trousers, and getting the impression that Uhura was actually enjoying fuelling his growing need.

He lay back obediently, still overwhelmed by the idea that the amazing communications officer, who’d been the object of many a daydream over the years, might actually be in love with him, too.

“Wait, Uhura,” he called out suddenly, sitting up again, “maybe we should wait. Maybe this is still an aftereffect of the ambassador’s spell. I wouldn’t want you to do anything you might regret later. You’re too precious for that.”

Uhura sat up straight, incredibly touched by his thoughtfulness, folded her hands in her lap and looked at him pensively.

“You know, Leonard,” she said after a while, “you’re right. We can’t know why we feel what we’re feeling. We probably never will. But I do know that what I feel for you is true, has been true for a long time, even if I didn’t realise it until today. Or maybe just didn’t dare to admit it. And your offer to wait a little longer right now is just another proof of your wonderful personality to me.”

She paused briefly, meeting his expectant eyes with a loving gaze, and tenderly took his face between her hands.

“I’ve always loved this face,” she continued softly, “so handsome and expressive. And these arms, so strong and gentle.”

She let her hands trail down his arms in a gentle caress, then put her right hand tenderly on his chest.

“And this heart, so kind and compassionate. Did you know that you virtually glow with kindness? You’re the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen, inside and out.”

She fell silent again, a soft smile playing around her lips, as she watched him wipe an embarrassed hand over his eyes.

McCoy was too choked up to say anything. Her words had deeply touched him, he couldn’t remember ever being told anything more beautiful. Could this be real? He certainly had a lot of love to give, even though he wasn’t very good at showing it, feeling safer hiding behind a shield of irritation and grumpiness. But Uhura had looked behind that shield, wanting to see the real him. Maybe her appreciation of him had been the reason she’d dared to come to him for help with this delicate issue in the first place.

When she saw that the doctor wasn’t going to find his voice again anytime soon, she gently pushed him back down until he was lying flat on his back again, and shifted her attention back to the lower part of his body.

“Enough of the talking,” she murmured softly, “let’s get on with the reciprocating.”

The doctor gave up trying to find the right words, when her gentle hands, fiddling with the fly of his trousers, demanded his full attention.

Uhura deftly opened his trousers, freeing his dick and taking her sweet time to admire his throbbing erection in all its glory.

Only when he started to moan impatiently, about to touch himself with the need to stave off the rising heat, did she let her fingers crawl up the inside of his thighs, one hand stopping to gently play with his balls, while the other lightly enclosed the length of his shaft and began to jerk him off ever so slowly.

McCoy let out an almighty groan, thinking he might actually die from the intensity of this lustful sensation. He dug his fingers into the bedsheets, holding on for dear life as his hips ground and bucked, desperate for Uhura’s teasing touch to get firmer, stronger.

And just when he thought the waves of lust that rippled through his body couldn’t get any higher, she straddled his legs and bowed her head close to his pulsing erection. Keeping up the gentle teasing of his balls and shaft, she let the tip of her tongue run around his glans, almost making him jump out of his skin.

Spurred on by his strong reactions, she went on to lick the pre-cum from his slit, then let her tongue run slow circles around the edge of his glans, spending a tantalisingly long time on the spot where the foreskin was attached to it.

“God, Nyota,” he pleaded, “I don’t think I can hold out much longer.”

“But I’ve only just begun,” she countered, letting her lips slide up and down his shaft with every word. “How can you be so turned on already?”

McCoy could barely speak anymore, gritting out, “I’ve been turned on for hours, my dear, you know that very well!”

“Oh?” Uhura feigned surprise. “What about your professional distance, Doctor? I dimly remember you mentioning it, while I was just as desperate for relief as you seem to be right now.”

She’d removed her mouth from his cock to speak, and had gone back to teasing him mercilessly with the lightest touch of her fingers, enjoying the sight of him bucking and grinding like mad, begging her to finish him off with pleading eyes. Clearly remembering her own recent ordeal, Uhura was not going to let him off lightly.

“Nyota!” he whined, “Have mercy!”

She smirked, but took pity on him and picked up the pace, stroking him with a firmer hand.

Humming with relief, he cupped one hand around the fingers playing with his balls, squeezing a little, and used his other hand to set the pace for her strokes of his shaft.

“You know me, Nyota. I’d never tell a soul. Hell, I’ll never even talk to you about it again. But do you really think any man could do what I’ve done to you today and stay unaffected?”

Her hands slowed down again, eliciting an exasperated groan from him.

“Tell me more about how it affected you,” she asked, eager to hear him tell her all about his feelings while helping her out earlier.

Resigning to the fact that she wasn’t going to give him what he so desperately needed until he’d told her everything she wanted to know, he started to talk.

“What do you think, it did to me, woman?” he grumbled, surmising that a little dirty talk obviously turned her on. “Touching the private parts of the most beautiful woman I know, trying to get her off while not looking at her? Made me so horny I could hardly concentrate on pleasuring you!”

Uhura seemed satisfied with that, as she stopped the torturous teasing and began to jerk him off in earnest again. McCoy huffed out a relieved breath, feeling a toe-curling orgasm building inside him.

“Where were you when I woke up?” she asked before bending over his throbbing dick again and sliding it gently into her mouth, licking and sucking at first, then letting him push in deeper, swallowing him as far as her mouth could take him, lightly grazing him with her teeth all the way down, making him feel a desire he hadn’t known existed until now.

“That’s too embarrassing to even tell you,” he gasped, trying to answer her question in between jolts of unprecedented pleasure.

She let him slip out of her mouth again with a plopping sound, the cool air and her teasing lips on the head of his cock making him shiver.

“Did you have a need to take care of?” she asked, smiling wickedly, while mercilessly teasing the sensitive rim of his glans with the tip or her fast moving tongue.

“Nyota,” he grunted, exasperated, “I made you come three times, without so much as touching myself. I was going crazy there! I’m just a man, after all. I just couldn’t take anymore. I’ve never been so horny in my life!”

“So you went to your office to relieve yourself?” she continued her line of questioning, her hand emphasising every word with a strong, firm stroke, only to stop just as he was ready to shoot his load.

“Uhura! This is evil!” he cried out in dismay. “I know what you’ve had to go through today was torture, but it wasn’t my fault, I did everything to help. So please, don’t torture me like this, now!”

“Are you saying you did everything to make me come as quickly as possible,” she enquired with a mischievous grin, “or did you, by any chance, indulge in a little teasing yourself? I certainly can’t remember ever being more turned on in my life. And I don’t think the ambassador can take all the credit for that.”

“All I wanted was for you to at least get the most pleasure out of your ordeal,” he smiled at her sheepishly from lowered eyelids.

“And I certainly did,” she beamed at him, thinking once again what a kind-hearted man he really was.

“But you still haven’t told me what you were doing while I was out cold after you’d so expertly ‘treated’ me,” she persisted, not letting him get away that easily.

“Can’t you just let this go, Uhura?” he pleaded. “It’s really not something I’m proud of.”

“You’ve seen me at my worst, Leonard,” Uhura grimaced, “so how bad can it be?”

“I went to my office to clean myself up, Nyota,” he sighed, “because I came in my pants during your third orgasm. That’s never happened to me before. It was humiliating.”

Uhura didn’t bat an eyelid.

“More humiliating than asking your doctor to masturbate you?” Uhura chuckled, then exclaimed with the happiest grin on her face, “Leonard! This is the hottest thing I’ve ever heard!”

And before McCoy could even process her unexpected reaction, she went down on him again in earnest, forgetting everything else around her, fully focused on how to push him to his limits and hoping to give him the orgasm of a lifetime.

McCoy didn’t know what hit him. Uhura had stepped her relentless teasing up a notch or two, now subjecting him to a sweet torture he could hardly bear. Not for much longer, anyway. She seemed to pay attention to all his most sensitive spots at once, her dainty musician’s fingers now working him just the way he’d so often admired them dancing across her work panel on the bridge, skilfully working the controls. Her quick tongue swirling and licking in all the right places.

He lost all sense of time and space, his body and soul on fire, feeling like floating in liquid heat, drifting higher and higher into limitless ecstasy. Through the haze of his lust, he was dimly aware of Uhura watching him raptly, probably wondering if he was feeling anything like she had that afternoon, enjoying that the tables were turned and relishing every moment of causing him such delicious pleasure.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take any more, couldn’t endure another second of this divine torture, he felt her hands tighten their grip on his shaft, finding the perfect rhythm, while her lips enclosed his glans, firmly sucking in the head of his dick until he could feel himself pushing against the roof of her mouth.

That was when he seriously lost it. Babbling and cursing, he thrust hard into her mouth, holding her head firmly in place between his hands. He was tense and desperate, and it didn’t take many thrusts to send him hurtling over the edge. He would have liked to warn her, give her the chance to pull away, but it happened too fast.

With an almost inhuman sounding groan, he came into her mouth, spurting hot, sticky strands down her throat, his body convulsing with the sheer relief of his finally granted climax.

It took him forever to come down again, his body jolting with every flick of her tongue that accompanied her every swallow, draining his overwrought cock spurt for spurt. She sure knew how to draw out a man’s orgasm to eternity.

Uhura was captivated. Watching the doctor unravel right before her eyes was mesmerising. He surely was a never-ending well of surprises. She’d always known that he was a passionate man. In discussions and arguments, about his work, his friends, his patients, respecting and preserving life. But as unique as his skilful hands had been in taking her to unknown heights that afternoon, as unique was he now in receiving the pleasure she offered him, giving himself to her completely.

He was perfect. She wanted him. All of him. Needed him, even. Wanted to do this to him again and again. Her heart clenched with love for this extraordinary man. Yes, love. She loved him.

When McCoy had calmed down enough to become aware of his surroundings again, his gaze was met by Uhura’s big, beautiful eyes. And the warmth he saw there, took his breath away. Warmth and … what? Contentment? Happiness? Love?

Don’t get carried away, Leonard, he scolded himself, reaching out to stroke her hair.

“Had fun?” she asked, smiling at him with a mischievous gleam in her eyes.

“As if you didn’t know what you just did to me, woman,” he grunted, affecting a huff. Then he smiled at her affectionately.

“Nothing I’ve ever felt has even come close to this, sweetheart,” he assured her, pulling her closer, needing to feel her warm, exciting body against his. “You are incredible!”

Uhura straightened back up to sit next to him on the edge of the bed.

“Glad you enjoyed me reciprocating,” she chuckled, patting his arm lightly, “but we’re not even yet!”

“Uhura!” he grunted, dismayed, “This is not a competition! You know that, don’t you?”

She looked at him contritely. “Of course, I know, I’m sorry.”

McCoy’s face softened, and he swung his feet off the bed to sit next to her and put a comforting arm around her shoulders.

“Sweetheart, I get that you’re still bothered by what you’ve had to go through today,” he said quietly, his voice low and reassuring, “but do you remember what I just told you happened to me at the end?”

She nodded weakly.

“You might have been in more ... er ... pain, but I sure had my own embarrassment to deal with, too.”

“I know, Leonard, and I’m so sorry,” she sighed, leaning her head against his chest and relishing the new and safe feeling of his arms around her.

“Don’t be,” he murmured into her hair, his voice even softer now. “None of this was your fault. You were violated, Nyota. And I’m not pretending you’ll be completely over it anytime soon, either. There will be shame, there will be anger, probably even directed at me sometimes. But I promise, I’ll be there for you all the way. I’ll help you work through this. No one else will ever have to know.”

As the doctor brushed her forehead with a gentle kiss, Uhura snuggled deeper into his arms and was suddenly gripped by a fit of racking sobs. Out of shame, out of relief, out of anger or sheer exhaustion, she didn’t know. All she knew was that she couldn’t stop. And that McCoy’s arms around her, his hands tenderly rubbing her back and combing through her hair, his chin resting lightly on her head, felt so very, very good.

Apart from being the hottest man she knew, which had admittedly come as rather a surprise, he was just as caring and protective as she’d always believed him to be. Possibly even more so.

McCoy held her tight, patiently waiting for her sobs to ebb away, murmuring, “It’s ok, honey, I’ve got you,” over and over again.

It was still too soon, he knew. There would be more episodes like this, probably not all of them ending with him cradling her in his arms, unfortunately. But whatever she threw at him, he’d deal with, whatever she needed, he’d give to her. There was no doubt in his heart that he loved her. All of her.

He’d briefly felt guilty for succumbing to her sexual ministrations so easily. The man in him clearly having won over the doctor. But then he realised that this had most probably been exactly what she’d needed. To be in control. To make him beg for relief, just as she had earlier today.

Intellectually, she knew, of course, that it hadn’t been his fault. That he’d only been there to help. But emotionally, she saw him as the one who’d touched her, who’d had control over her orgasms. She really needed to reciprocate, he realised. And in more ways than one.

When her sobs had died down, he pulled back a little, holding her at arm’s length to look at her. Then, gazing deeply into her beautiful eyes, tenderly brushing the last of her tears away with his thumbs, he softly said, “From where I stand, it wasn’t all bad, though. You’ve just told me you might be in love. That’s more than I could ever have hoped for. I can easily live with that.”

And tilting his head to one side, he smilingly suggested, “Why don’t you let me take you on a date tomorrow? A proper, old-fashioned date. Dinner in the mess followed by a romantic stroll through the arboretum and drinks on the observation deck afterwards?”

“That sounds about perfect, Leonard,” Uhura smiled, her heart soaring, as the depths of his kindness were once more revealed to her. “I’d like that very much!”

“It’s a date then,” he beamed, “and we’ll just take it from there.”

Uhura nodded happily, her eyes glued to his handsome, kind face, blinking back new tears of love and gratitude. Truth was, she was more than ready to push him down on the bed again right now, wanting him so badly it hurt, desperate to finally feel him inside her.

But she knew, of course, that he was right. She needed time to work through the aftereffects of her violation. To be sure that what she felt was real and not just her assaulted libido talking. It was the least he could ask for. He deserved that. They both did.

And with a content sigh, grateful for his integrity and blissfully safe in the knowledge that he would never betray her trust, she snuggled back into him, wrapping her arms around him tightly.

“Doctor, you’re the best,” she whispered, kissing him lightly on the lips.

“I’ll certainly try to be for you, Lieutenant,” he smiled, pulling her into a bear hug and feeling happier than he had in a very long time.

*******

Disclaimer: 

Nothing of or associated with Star Trek is mine – it all belongs to Paramount / ViacomCBS (or whoever else currently holds the rights). This is a work of fanfiction, no infringement intended.

[taleweavernlm1026]

McSpirk Idea

So, I haven't seen anything concerning this idea before but I obviously haven't read every fan thing out there so here’s my idea.

(part way through I realized this was a McSpirk idea XD)

Spock’s like, one of the first human/alien hybrids right? (I always felt it was implied in the shows/movies) I know I have seen a fic where it talked about he being studied and documented in his younger years but what about necessary medications? I would think anyone serving in a starship, closed off from 90% of their natural environment would need a daily supplement of some kind, but through in odd, still not completely understood biology into the mix?

Imagine Spock has to take a handful of pills each morning, and a set of hypos after every away mission to re acclimate to the enterprise after being planet side for more than a day. Vitamin supplements he has to get weekly. Now throw McCoy into the mix, monthly exams to check to make sure Spock’s meds/vitamins are working, adjust anything that's needed, confer with the notes taken by the doctors and scientists from Vulcan and that's only if your in ToS, Imagine how much of those notes on Spock’s biological make up would be lost with Vulcan in AoS, cuz we know how private Vulcan's are I can’t see them sharing those notes with Starfleet’s main Databank. (I always imagine the VSA would be possessive of Spock like that ‘he’s our experiment, keep yer hands off my notes’ kinda thing)

But like, no one but Bones knows about all this. Only McCoy knows about the emergency hypos Spock stashes in his tricorder, or the allergic reactions Spock has had to certain environments that would normally have no affect on a full blooded being. No one knows about the drawer of pills stashed by his bed, or how carefull he really is when it comes to food, in AoS not even Nyota ever knew (I like em as friends, I always imagine that break up amicably but never stay together, if not with Bones she’s great with Scotty.)

and Spock HATES all this, he hates the hypos, the pills, the monitoring and the notes. He tries to avoid the check ups, skip a pill or two, eat something he knows he shouldn’t and instead of being all bluster Bones TOTTALLY feels for him with this. Like, he’s incredibly sympathetic and keeps the notes as spares as possible, doesn’t snark to much when he notices the odd number of pills or the food, instead he’s there with a hypo when the meal catches up with Spock, has a small case in his pocket with a single does of every one of Spock’s pills. He keeps the examinations quick and the monitoring to as little as possible. He tries to find better medicines to permanently fix Spock’s issues instead of just accepting them like the VSA did in either universe and when there is undesirably side affects he’s there, comforting bitching all the way and Spock appreciates this so damn much cuz no one had been there for him like this aside from his mother. the few humans he’d made the mistake of telling treated him differently (I'm thinking Pike and Piper from his stint on the enterprise before Jim) Pike started being oddly careful with Spock and Piper made the mistake of going severally clinical with him, so he stopped telling anyone. He comes to feel uncomfortable around any other Doctors except McCoy which turns into wanting the Doctor around more and more until, oops, out Vulcan’s got a crush on this kind, gentle man whos really just like an oyster with a hard shell and his smooshy insides hiding the pearl that is his heart and Spock falls hard.

There's just one issue here.

James T. Kirk

The man Spock has also fallen for because, I mean it’s Jim. Jim who is to Spock what sunshine is to a flower that's been forced into the shade all its life.

Who has come to the conclusion that Bones and Spock are dating after seeing them off to the side one to many times and catching said Doctor coming and going from Spock’ s quarters just as many.

And yes, Jim has already fallen head over heals for Spock, he fell the moment they met (the cheating incident for AoS, him coming aboard the Enterprise for ToS) and he’s ben crushing on Bones for so long he’s pretty sure if he stopped it’d be like going blind. But he’d never get in the way of these two but he DOEs wish they’d have told him so he starts snooping and, to Spock’s horror, finds out about the meds and research and emergency hypos.

And of course, the man panics and convinces himself that Spock is not only sick but its terminal and he rushes to Bones because he want’s a damned explanation and he forces his way into Bone’s office where Spock is coming down from another bad reaction to a new medicine and he’s huddled in the corner of the room with Bone’s acting as a comforting shield from the outside world.

At first Jim is confused and Bones is conflicted, he knows Spock definitely doesn’t want Jim to see him like this but he’s got a hold of McCoy’s shirt and isn’t letting go. At first he hopes he can shoo Jim out wordlessly but Jim blows it by slowly approaching and saying (more or less) “Let me help.”

Spock about has a silent conniption and Bones tries to make Jim leave and Jim’s only response is yet again, ask to let him help.

already stressed and worn out, Spock caves, reaching out to Jim and tugging him in like his has his Leonard shaped security blanket.

Jim works with Bones to calm and help Spock while Jim receives a full explanation on what all those pills and hypos were for and Jim admits to his panic when he found them which has Spock wondering at such a sever reaction, realizing as he’s asking Jim this that it must be because they are friends and Jim says point blank, “Because love you and I Love Bones, and if we lost you, we’d lose Bones too and I’d have lost you both. If that ever happened, it’d be kinder to just go ahead and chop off both my hands, I would have lost them anyway.”

Whish leads to shmoop and talking of feelings and ends in a huge cuddle pile on Jim’s bed cuz its bigger and now Jim has a case of Spock’s pills and a hypo along with a mental list of foods neither of them should touch and he’s helping Bones study new medicine mixes while Spock makes everyone tea and lunches and enjoys taking time to keep their small quarters neat and tidy like a good Vulcan bond mate should, when he’s not Mid experiment himself anyway, then the rooms fall into complete disarray and when Bones and Jim notice they try to help but they can’t make the tea right and nothing is ever clean enough for Spock. And Bones has to sleep on the outside of their little pile at night so if there is an emergency he can go and Spock is in the middle so he doesn’t hog the blankets but he’s a cuddler and if he doesn’t have to get outta bed he doesn’t want to and won’t let his cuddle victim go unless you give his ear a pinch then it’s a knee jerk reaction to slap the hand away and roll over to protect his ear.

oh and the crew totally knows about the three of them, have suspected it for ages now, but they won’t tell until their silly Captain, First officer and MO want to tell them.

and yeah that was my idea that I just had rolling around in my head.

[douxreviews]

Star Trek: Discovery - ‘Brother’ Review

"Space: The Final Frontier. Above us, around us, within us. We have always looked to the stars to discover who we are."

By nature I love brevity: Star Trek: Discovery takes a long, clean breath of fresh air in this big, bold premiere that sheds the burdens of Season One and lets them roll down the hill behind.

Star Trek: Enterprise was canceled in 2005. And in the Fall of that year, as shows premiered, fans were faced with a sad reality: for the first time in 28 years, a new season of Star Trek was not among them. And for 12 years, this continued. And then we Discovered a new frontier. Breaking the silence of more than a decade, Star Trek: Discovery was a sign that Trek was not dead.

But of course, it was not without its flaws. Discovery Season One had issues with its tone and its dialogue. The crew, above and beyond their stilted, grandiose speech, rarely seemed like a family, or even a group of people who like each other. And the levels of anxiety and brooding were at dangerously high levels. We're talking Superman from Batman v. Superman levels of anxiety and brooding.

The fans pointed out these issues, though the good parts still remained (excepting the 'fans' who actively went out of their way to be openly hostile towards the series, its creators, and its viewers). And the team behind Discovery listened. 'Brother' benefits from a light and relaxed tone that feels like the lifting of a heavy curtain. The crew speaks in a generally human and natural manner, and they work together like a tight family. Brooding is nowhere to be seen, and the anxiety present is of a different sort than the cloud of deep worry that permeated Season One. Instead the viewer felt more of an empathetic concern about the characters and their lives.

The first and most immediate effect of 'Brother' is, in fact, to distance the show from its past mistakes. Associating these issues with the influence of Captain Lorca makes a lot of sense from a story perspective, even if the creators' insistence that all the darker elements were only a result of him doesn't quite sit right. From the outset, Captain Pike makes it clear that he is very different from Lorca. Everything about his manner and bearing suggests a completely different man from Jason Isaacs' power-hungry warmonger. But Pike is no Kirk, either, as one might anticipate. Anson Mount gives his Pike a humility and a grounded feel that Kirk never quite developed.

The other proverbial elephant on the starship is the presence of Spock. Though the adult version of our beloved half-Vulcan does not appear, his importance in the events of 'Brother' and the impact the mere allusion to the character has on the series is clear. We learn that he and Burnham's strained relationship is the result of her decisions, not his. It's clear she views him and his legacy as an oppressive force in her life, perhaps as a standard she could never live up to? There's a great shot that really sums this up, when young Spock makes his holo-dragon. The dragon moves toward Burnham, and roars at her, and Spock walks in through its mouth. I think that's how she sees Spock.

Sarek and Burnham's conversation about reverence also factors in. This show has decided to include a character that most fans undoubtedly have a lot of reverence for. But to make him a useful character, with an arc and a purpose, reverence is not enough. The massive weight of Spock's impact on Star Trek and the fans' adoration of him will be a problem that Discovery will have to deal with.

Moving to our regular cast, I loved how they were dealt with here. The other side of Lorca's effect on the Disco crew is that such a major and personal adversary has brought them together and made them rely on each other. All of the returning cast felt like a family around each other, and their interactions made the ship feel like a real workplace run by a real team. This is a major improvement from last season.

It looks like Burnham's journey this season will be thoroughly intertwined with Spock's. I look forward to seeing her relationship with him and how it develops, but I do hope they give her a role to play apart from and outside of the shadow of her foster brother. Likewise, Stamets seems overshadowed by the impact of someone else. Everything around him reminds him of his lost love Dr. Culber, and he's having a very hard time dealing with it. It seems like the end of this episode was enough to get him at least a little bit excited about science again, though it's unlikely that this is the end of his plotline about leaving the ship. With Wilson Cruz brought on as a full cast member for this season, it'll be interesting to see where this goes.

Tilly and Saru don't seem to have much in the way of an arc yet, but I'm sure this will change. I expect most of Tilly's story this season will have something to do with her enrollment in the Command Training Program. Saru mentioned his sister Siranna, from the Short Trek 'The Brightest Star,' and the showrunners have stated that we may see other Kelpians this season, so expect to see a visit to Saru's home planet of Kaminar sometime in the future. Maybe siblings will continue to be a theme this season.

Overall, 'Brother' was a pretty epic way to kick off the new season. It's fun and engaging, with a lot of potential. I can't wait to see where we go from here.

Strange New Worlds:

This section will record the planets the Disco visits and the places they go. Not a whole lot of that in this particular episode.

New Life and New Civilizations:

Here I'll keep track of all the new species, ideas, and cultures the crew encounters. Again, nothing in the way of that here.

Pensees (Thoughts):

-Mia Kirshner (Amanda) looks a lot like Amy Adams. She also really resembles Amanda from TOS, so that's nice.

-Stamets has a botanist friend aboard the Enterprise.

-In keeping with the Trek tradition of altering the intro, we have some brand new graphics added to the opening theme.

-Regulation 19, Section C allows a higher-ranking officer to take command of a starship in one of three contingencies: 1. An imminent threat; 2. The lives of Federation citizens are in danger; 3. There is no more qualified officer available to deal with the situation.

-I love Doug Jones' Saru walk. It's just so much fun to watch.

-That's the first shot we've gotten of a turbo lift running through a starship in all of Trek, if memory serves. Pretty cool, too.

-Another Alice in Wonderland nod. Also, holo-candles.

-Sarek mentioned that he's reached out to Klingon High Chancellor L'Rell (Mary Chieffo), and she had no explanation for the red bursts either.

-The Captain goes on the away mission, in true Trek tradition.

-There was a bit of Spock's Jellyfish ship from Star Trek (2009) in the design of the pods they flew.

-How cool was the pod sequence? Also, it was admittedly rather satisfying to see Olson Connelly get his comeuppance when he failed to pull his chute crashed and died because of the dumb risk he took.

-One of the ads loaded at the wrong time when I watched this the first time. The long ad break split a shot in half.

-I liked Reno (Tig Notaro). The idea of using an engineering approach to medicine is interesting, although I wouldn't want to be one of the first patients it was tried on.

-The Red Angel is still very much an unknown. I partially expect it will have something to do with the Klingons, if not only because they seem from the trailers to have a big role to play.

-The asteroid material wouldn't beam up. That's intriguing. It may be the key to fixing the spore drive, too, as it looks from the trailer that we'll be jumping again this season.

-'Not every cage is a prison, nor every loss eternal.' That's very interesting, and it has a lot of significance for Pike.

-It makes sense that the crew of the Enterprise would have issues with sitting out the war while on their five-year mission.

-The Disco's new Doctor is named Dr. Pollard.

-One of the names in the credits was 'Matt Decker.'

-A lot of references to faith/religion and related subjects in this episode. I don't think it's necessarily significant, but I thought it was worth noting.

-Alex Kurtzman directed this episode. I thought he did a great job; maybe he should stick to that instead of the whole coming up with ideas thing. I'm still baffled by the seriously weird and unsettling bits about Klingon anatomy from Season One.

Quotes:

Amanda: "I bless you, Michael... all my life."

Pike: "Do not covet thy neighbor's starship, Commander."

Pike: "Why didn't we think of that, Connelly? Think of all the syllables that gave their lives."

Pike: "Sometimes it's wise to keep your expectations low, Commander. That way we're never disappointed." Advice to the audience, perhaps?

Tilly: "I put her in a Utility closet, and I put you in there. I'm drunk on power."

Stamets: "Tilly, you are... incandescent. You're going to become a magnificent Captain because you do everything out of love. But I need you to repeat after me. I will say..." Tilly: "I will say..." Stamets: "Fewer things." Tilly: "Fewer thi- okay."

Sarek: "Spock has great reverence for his mother, but reverence tends to-" Burnham: "Fill up the room." It's the shot of Burnham's fairly empty quarters just as she interrupts that sells this one.

Pike: "Detmer - fly... good."

Pike: "I was expecting a red thing. Where's my damn red thing?"

Pike: "Spock asked the most amazing questions. It's completely logical, yet somehow able to make everyone see that logic was the beginning of the picture and not the end."

Burnham: "There are so many things I wish I'd said to you; so many things I want to say now. I'm too late, aren't I? I can only pray I don't lose you again... brother."

A strong, solid premiere. 5 out of 6 damn red things.

CoramDeo is interested in things.

[deheerkonijn]

@cacatuidaes Thank you very much!!! Well - I’m no designer, but I would be happy to talk about what I did and why. And then, whatever happens next is between you and your tattoo artist. :)

Please see above for very loosely drawn close-ups with quickly chosen colors, and please see below for explanations on what it all is!

Thinky-Thoughts on Jim’s Tats Below the Cut:

I numbered these just for the sake of proximity - more or less I imagine he gets them congruent with the chronology of events in the series … you’ll see what I mean!

1. The Enterprise - This one is obvi haha. His first command and first love. Inside of a vague rendition of the UFP logo, for placement. In my headcanon, this is his second-ever tattoo. 

2. Swallows - The only reason I did that original tats piece in the first place was because I wanted to take inspiration from traditional sailor’s tattoos - I think often about what it might be like if being on a starship were more navy-like (hence trying to get rid of Jim’s spacious captain’s suite and cram him into a tiny single bunk LOL sorry Jimby  *N S FW LINK*). Originally, each swallow signified 5,000 nautical miles that the sailor had traveled. Obviously Jim will have traveled vastly greater distances, so I’d imagine either the swallow has evolved to encompass starship-equivalent distances, or maybe Jim just has a personal interest in them, or maybe he even started keeping them with an intention of using them as markers, but then realized if he kept it up he’d be covered in birds and left them at a tasteful foursome. Maybe there is an old superstition about a captain’s first 20-x lightyears! 

3. Starburst - For luck. Placed on his shoulder just out of reach of being visible in a shirt, it has come to represent how frequently he gets out of trouble. Jim’s ink is all placed in areas that can’t be seen while in uniform. It is a good place for Spock to gently kiss. :3c 

4. Zinnias in Pink, Yellow and Orange - From the ep “Shore Leave” and inspired by that one post about a zinnia grown in space (as it turns out, it was not an homage to Star Trek, but I still wish that lovely space-flower all the best). Since then, as I’m sure many people have done, I headcanon zinnias as Jim’s fave flower - and as we know, he appreciates beautiful things, so he put them on his body.

5. A planetary system - I admit I didn’t think too hard about this one - not intended to be our system obvi - maybe a system where he had a very important encounter?

6. Tarsus IV - This was Jim’s first tattoo. He got it when he turned 18. Two sprigs of wheat on his ribs, a part of the body visually associated with famine, it’s in remembrance of everything that happened. He lies about its meaning to everyone who asks about it - until his encounter with Kodos on the Enterprise in his adult life.

7. Ashayam (with a smudge!) - Ashayam of course is “beloved” in Vulcan, my very favorite Vulcan endearment. :) He got it on his first anniversary of being bonded to Spock. Spock understood the sentiment and was dearly touched by it, so when Jim told him that he wanted the calligraphy to be in Spock’s own script, Spock painted it onto Jim. It got a little smudged cause they got handsy during, and Jim asked the tattoo artist to keep it as part of the final work.

8. Enemy Within - This box is meant to be a super super reduced interpretation of the gemini symbol, with the Command starburst inside. It’s about his two sides and how they come together to make him who he is, not too much beyond that. :)

9. The Conscience of the King - This one represents the end of Jim’s Tarsus ordeal, the end of his solitary burden, and the beginning of his healing. The mask is loosely based off of the ones the players use in this episode, and the dagger going through it is meant to both represent events in Macbeth as well as Kodos’ death. (10.) I linked the mask to the above “Enemy Within” tat with circles, which I find are very comforting shapes even as they are simultaneously a shape about change and movement. It seemed appropriate to associate the two, ‘cause it makes this section represent all the difficult and painful shit that makes Jim-Jam who he is.

11. Galaxy filler - Starts to feather out from the Kodos tattoo and goes all the way around the arm. Maybe it is a specific galaxy?

12. The Obelisk from “The Paradise Syndrome” - Honestly this ep is such a Mess, but in it Jim is stranded alone on a planet for three months with no memory of Starfleet, and takes a wife. That’s a pretty fucking notable event in one’s life lmao - esp when you consider the fact that he’s  committed to Spock (and I do, I always do ‘cause I’m a stan for established relationship hehehe) which is why I then put 13. on top of it.

13. The Nautical Star - The nautical star is another old sailor tattoo that represents a way home, when he is lost in life or in travel. :)

14. GSK - George Samuel Kirk

Soooo that’s my thinking, I hope I didn’t bore you to tears haha! I tried to go for things that weren’t “traditionally” Trek - like for example a phaser is cool but Jimby is soft and I don’t think he’d like to ink a weapon onto his body. Nor do I think he would ever under any circumstances ink a tribble onto his body hahaha even though they are beloved by all. There’re a ton of other really important events throughout TOS that I know Jim would want to commemorate, but these few were the first that came to mind so I just went with it.

His sleeve is very colorful. Not my personal taste, but I think it suits him! :)

[soap-brain]

My prompt isn't part of the hug list and is kind of really angsty so feel free to ignore it if you want! XD I've read a lot of stories where the authors had Spock act like an asshole to make Jim run into Spock Prime's arms and it always makes me sad because I feel that it's unfair to expect Spock to act like his counterpart when SP had decades to accept his human side (1)

(2) so here's my prompt. Spock catches SP and Jim in a intimate situation (kissing or acting intimately or other situations) for whatever reason of your choosing (Spock and Jim had a fight, SP melded with Jim and the emotional transfer made them both act strangely...). The rest is completely up to you :)

it’s finally done!! this was a trip, man. at first i had /no/ idea what to write, how to write it, what you wanted exactly. then i started and it was slow and odd and then it began feeling good as long as i was careful, and now i’m SO PROUD OF THIS!! it’s my new favorite fic (sorry @ His Silver Lady)

i hope you like it though, it’s completely different from what and how i usually write, and i researched some interesting stuff (hey did you know they finished the golden gate bridge in 1937? and did you know there’s already a concept for roads to be replaced with solar panels?? the more you mcfreaking know i guess)

so, without any further ado:AOS Spirk, mentions of AOS Jim Kirk/Spock Prime, mentions of sex, established TOS Spirkwarnings for: a metric ton of sadness and Spock Prime whump, also references to suicide ideation; misuse of Shakespeare, Edgar Allan Poe, ABBA, Pacrim 2, The One With The Whales and a fuckton of odd metaphors

Rating: probably T??Wordcount: 4742

(it’s under a cut because it’s so damn long)

How can I then return in happy plightThat am debarred the benefit of rest,When day’s oppression is not eased by night,But day by night and night by day oppressed,And each, though enemies to either’s reign,Do in consent shake hands to torture me,The one by toil, the other to complainHow far I toil, still farther off from thee?I tell the day, to please him, thou art brightAnd dost him grace when clouds do blot the heaven;So flatter I the swart-complexioned night,When sparkling stars twire not, thou gild’st the even.     But day doth daily draw my sorrows longer,     And night doth nightly make grief’s length seem stronger.

How do you know something is missing? Something you never had - how do you know you’re missing it? You feel displaced, a bit empty, searching, maybe. It’s certainly not the best feeling there is, but it’s also far from the worst.

Because the worst is having been searching for all your life, and then you find what you were looking for - love and acceptance, given completely unconditionally. And then you lose it.

Of course, you had it. For a while, you were happy. You had everything you could wish for - and more.

And then you lose it.

You lose it and there’s no replacement, because that thing is gone. Forever. It’s not coming back, you can’t get a second one, no second chances, no winning in life.

You’re alone, lost and broken. Forever.

*∞*∞*

Blue. It’s the first thing he notices. Blue, like … like a summer sky. Like a warp trail. Like a science uniform, like the eyes of a dear friend. On the wrong person maybe, but still … still …

Well. He doesn’t quite know what to say. Not … right, certainly not, more like jarringly wrong, like an atrocious deformity. Everything is wrong about the stranger. He’s too tall, too slim, too different, too wrong, not sunshine-and-honey, more starlight-and-ice.

Perfectly wrong, perfectly right.

He’d thought he’d die here, alone, in the cold, finally, maybe, because he’s not entirely sure he wants to see what this universe becomes, out of time out of space out of order infinite entropy in infinite combinations different and wrong and perfectly, perfectly right after such a long time. Like coming home to a new place.

A difficult concept to explain or grasp, without a doubt.

    “James T. Kirk.”

The confusion on his face is all wrong, epidermis scrunching up in the wrong places. It’s perfect.

    “Excuse me?”

He found him.

    “How’d you find me?”

Not that he’s surprised, exactly. This is a Kirk, after all.

    “Whoa, whoa. How’d you know my name?” Confusion, worn so beautifully. Not what he wants to see, of course - not how he’d like to see it, certainly! - but … he’s grateful for everything by now.

    “I have been, and always shall be, your friend.” It’s a miracle his voice doesn’t break. Or maybe it does, but can you blame him? Miracles like this don’t happen.

He’s not alone anymore, not lost, not broken. Not anymore.

*∞*∞*

My glass shall not persuade me I am old; // So long as youth and thou are of one date.

They have no place in this universe. Or, well, he doesn’t. Jim, Jim, beautiful Jim - he does. He deserves so much. He’s so young, so bright, so fearless, so, so beautiful.

Spock found his missing half again. His t’hy’la, his sun, his everything. Like the universe falling back into alignment, a pendulum with unending weight and no mass.

And then it swings past.

There’s a marvelous ship launching, a goddess in her own right, and her crew is beaming sparkling smiles, turning their backs on Earth with no regrets.

Is this what an abandoned pet must feel like? Watch those it loves and admires turn their backs and walk away, not a glance spared?

His knees want to buckle under the merciless weight of the stars, of years and years lived and forgotten and never happening. Because - because they never were.

Six sets of eyes, blue, brown, golden-sunshine-and-laughter. They never were. And nobody remembers, because they never lived.

Now, they are brown, they are green, they are grey, and a bright, burning blue. Like a shooting star: can’t touch, can’t feel, but all you want to do is latch on. It won’t let you.

What is there to do, when you have nothing? Nothing left, everything taken. Nothing ventured and nothing gained - but. What to venture for? What is there left to fight for?

For the first time in his life it seems like maybe giving up is the right way to go. Maybe - maybe it was enough.

The thoughts don’t come at night, under glittering stars, so far away, held dear in memory. The thoughts don’t come at day, under burning sun, merciless. The thoughts are already here and they won’t leave.

You become used to it.

Have you ever tried reaching out to the stars? Even if they aren’t yours, all wrong because they are exactly the same -  have you tried touching them? Fingers stroking over a cheekbone. The eyes should be phoenix-gold, but they’re a morning sky. And the memory is but a dream.

“‘Let me help.’ A hundred years or so from now, I believe, a famous novelist will write a classic using that theme. He’ll recommend those three words even over ‘I love you.’”

So he will help. If nobody ever knows who for, then so be it. He can’t chase after a lover that was never his to have.

*∞*∞*

    “Do you genuinely believe he likes me?”

Sigh. “He is me, and I do know myself. Yes, Jim. Spock likes you.”

    “He doesn’t act like it though.”

So different. So much less calm. Exactly the same.

A smile the other man surely doesn’t see often from him - or his counterpart.

    “Vulcan education doesn’t make it easy to act on our feelings, if we even admit we have them.”

    “But - he doesn’t even use contractions when speaking! Hell, he told me off for using them in official reports! And you - I’ve heard you parody Bones’ accent!”

    “Jim, all I can ask of you is to give my counterpart time and ample supply of possibilities to change. I am over a hundred and ninety years old, and the majority of that time was spent in Human company. It … wears you down, eventually.”

Jim flips the stylus he’d been fiddling with. “I did everything you said though! We’re playing a lot of chess, we have dinner together, I ask to hear him play the lute, I get him little trinkets, I’m trying to be as respectful as I can be, I’m practically flirting with him non-stop - how many more situations should I needlessly and weirdly bend over something? How dense can a guy be!”

    “Always so impatient - ack!”

He’s so close all of a sudden, invading a personal bubble that hasn’t been invaded in a long, long time (actually, never. Because it never happened), smelling and feeling wrong, and exactly right.

Feelings are a confusing thing, but is there anything that’s quite as good?

    “What’s wrong?”

A hand on his elbow, and bright blues looking worried. A momentary lapse of control, and suddenly it’s so much harder to regain his balance, externally, internally, eternally. Of course it’s his presence that set the timer off, tick-tocking towards doom, the shallow contact on Delta Vega, the most intimate connection, a mind recognizing its counterpart, no matter how distorted.

    “Spock. Talk to me!”

    “Selek.”

    “No, you’re - you’re Spock!”

He sits up again.

    “Jim …”

    “Is it a medical condition? Do you need a doctor? Oh god, I’ll call Bones right-”

    “Jim.”

    “Yes?”

    “It is, in fact, a medical condition of sorts, but nothing modern medicine can help me with. Or you.”

    “What do you mean?”

Sigh. He doesn’t want to lie - his body craves the relief, the closeness, like a starving man craves food, the most delicious buffet laid out right in front of him.

If he touches it, it will wither away, leave, run, snarl in disgust. He won’t be able to survive that. The other alternative - abstinence, depriving himself - seems almost better.

Selek - Spock has never been strong. His mental restraints are mainly born from self-hatred, indoctrinated into him at a very young age. It makes it easier to deny himself.

But it has been so, so very long that he almost wants to give in.

Weariness goes deep - to your skin, after a long day. To your bones, after years. To your soul, after a lifetime of almost only mourning.

    “Tell me what’s wrong, so I can fix it.”

Let me help.

‘The history book on the shelf is always repeating itself’, after all.

    “I can’t let you. This is something I have to bear myself.”

    “No. Nobody is ever alone. Let. Me. Help.”

*∞*∞*

To have known him, to have loved himAfter loneness long;And then to be estranged in life,And neither in the wrong;And now for death to set his seal—Ease me, a little ease, my song!By wintry hills his hermit-moundThe sheeted snow-drifts drape,And houseless there the snow-bird flitsBeneath the fir-trees’ crape:     Glazed now with ice the cloistral vine     That hid the shyest grape.

Giving in is, in a way, always harder than abstaining. It opens up places inside of you - deep, dark, horribly twisted places. Of why you shouldn’t have given in, ever. Of why you shouldn’t have abstained, ever.

Sensorimotor memory is another fascinating thing. It digs deep and leaves grotesque scars, and touching them again shakes you to your very foundations.

*∞*∞*

The first day feels like happiness. Pure, unadulterated happiness. Like seeing the sun for the very first time in your life.

The second day is bittersweet. You can already feel it ending, a bit, even though you’re just cresting the highest peak.

The third day is regret and lack. It’s already over, almost. Sanity is returning.

Hour zero, day zero, ground zero afterwards is disgust. Not normally, no. But in this case - golden head on a pillow, bare shoulders and back covered in marks, a picture of utter exhaustion - it was wrong.

When you’re very young, and your mother tells you off for stealing your sister’s treats, and you’re unhappy and angry with yourself that you did something, took something you had no right to, already loathing the bliss you found in it.

This Jim, with this blue eyes and bright smile - that one hadn’t been meant for Spock. And he took him anyways.

He stands there, in the open bedroom/living space, mug of tea in his hand, looking down at the sleeper, and he resents every mark on the pale skin, every memory revolving around those marks.

There’s a chime at his door and he knows, instinctively, who it is. He allows admittance. There’s nothing to hide. Like a thief caught red-handed.

His counterpart barges in, chock-full with questions, and he stops dead in his tracks.

There’s shock, then there’s realization, and then there’s anger.

Selek watches him. He doesn’t have anything to hide, all his crimes out here in the open for Spock to judge.

    “You - you - he.”

Is there anything quite like fury choking your every word? Spock has every right to feel cheated, betrayed, stolen from.

And then his features fall.

    “It was you. Not me. You. He wanted you.”

Selek shook his head. “No, Spock. He wanted you. I’m sorry.”

    “Why?”

    “Why I did what I did? I’m old, Spock. I’m old and foolish and I’m alone. I don’t belong here. I’m weary. I don’t know whether giving in made it worse or better; it doesn’t matter. He’s not meant for me. And he only wanted to help. He doesn’t want me.”

    “But … you are more than me. Why - why wouldn’t he choose you?”

    “The simplest explanation I can give you is that he’s not my Jim, and I’m not his Spock. There’s a Jim and a Spock in every universe, and they belong together. But … this isn’t my universe, Spock. This isn’t my Jim. My Jim … was different. I’m sorry.”

Spock stares down at the golden head on the pillow, fighting emotions that remain unseen. Selek knows them all.

    “I need you to leave,” he chokes out, and Selek nods. Of course.

He dresses himself, puts on shoes, makes for the door.

    “There’s a dermal regenerator in the bathroom,” he says. There’s no answer. He doesn’t deserve an answer.

*∞*∞*

Spock sits down, hands shaking, knees suddenly unable to bear his weight. Jim is still motionless, deeply exhausted from -

Something ugly rears its head in Spock, dark and snarling. From servicing his counterpart, taken like some kind of whore. Jim is his, his, his alone, and he wants to hurt Selek, make sure he never lays a hand on Jim again. Illogical? Yes. But justified. Jim is his! Selek should have taken better care of his own Jim, then he would not be alone.

He trails a hand over Jim’s shoulder, fighting the urge to dig his nails in and mark Jim. The Human moves under his touch, pressing against it. Yes. Jim knows who his Spock is.

It is terrifying, if Spock is honest with himself. This urge to mark Jim, claim Jim, like his consent is of no importance.

    “Sp’ck?” He’s turned his head, lashes fluttering open and revealing crystalline blues.

    “I am here, Jim.”

Jim rolls around more, until he’s on his side. He stares, and then his eyes widen.

     “Spock! I - I can explain!” He scrambles to sit, bedsheet pooling around his waist.

    “There is no need.” It comes out colder than Spock wanted.

    “No, listen, I need to explain. Please!” Jim rubs a wild hand over his face and through his hair. “I - I - I don’t know how to say this, but please listen to me!”

Spock cocks his head.

    “I - oh god - I didn’t mean to - look, I had no idea how to interpret the signals I was getting from you, and Selek needed help. Spock, I couldn’t just - I couldn’t just let him die. But … I - Whatever we had, I -” He swallows harshly. “I destroyed it, didn’t I? Everything we could’ve had.”

    “I didn’t know you wanted - anything.” Spock exhales. There’s something in his chest, tight and loose at the same time. “I didn’t think you’d want … me.”

    “I did. I do. If you still do then I’m, I’ll.”

Spock closes his eyes. He had always tried to quench optimism with realism, or pessimism if his heart grew too bold. He had not dared hope - but he had thought. Had thought of Jim, just Jim, with him. As if nothing else mattered. (It didn’t.)

    “I do.” Said quietly, screamed across the rapidly shrinking distance between them.

Jim is smiling. Their foreheads touch without either of them consciously allowing it, so close together.

    “I do,” Spock repeats, watching the tentative smile on the Human’s face turn brilliant.

*∞*∞*

It’s an interesting trait, Human sentimentality. Certainly one of the greatest flaws and greatest strengths of their race, decidedly not to underestimate. Take this bridge, for example. 323 years old, it would be considered a waste of space and resources, logically, and would be set for destruction. Maintenance and continued safety checks cost a fortune that could well be invested elsewhere.

If you would propose that same course of action to any of the locals, you would decidedly not endear yourself to them, but the fact remains that the upkeep of the bridge doesn’t follow any kind of logical way of thought.

The paint alone, specially synthesized to protect the ancient materials, costs a fortune. A colorful metaphor for Human sentimentality.

If Selek were another man, one and a half centuries younger, not yet worn down, he would surely have chuckled. A joke. He doesn’t make those very often, the references he makes with his punchlines far too obscure for anyone to understand, and, as in this case,  they never happened in the first place.

The sidewalk isn’t made from concrete and stones anymore - a series of large remodeling projects allow all of San Francisco to be powered exclusively by solar panels that have been integrated everywhere. Roads now have a dull shine to them, looking far more finely fashioned than cracked concrete.

Selek wishes for the concrete. Watching where to step, careful to not bump into the man beside him, no matter how much he may want to, yearning for something half-remembered, half-forgotten.

‘Admiral.’ - ‘You used to call me Jim.’

He  used to, yes. In another time.

Now, it doesn’t hold the same meaning. Now, it’s a hollow ache, desperation, a void refusing to be filled except with unjust, unhealthy appropriation.

It used to be the warm glow of belonging.

And the yearning for it is a Human feeling, through and through. Sentimentality.

The pier is more or less deserted - it’s hardly the weather for a nice stroll. There’s only one person, ahead of Selek. They’re leaning over the little wall between the walkway and the stony shore, robes flying in the wind.

It’s for the better. As though less people would see Selek’s shame.

It was a selfish act, meant to resurrect whatever he once was and making it about himself. Selek has lived for other people. It used to be his primary enjoyment, fulfilling him.

A life, devoid of meaning now. And for how much longer? Physically, Selek doesn’t feel that old yet, and his luck has been bad. How much longer? Twenty years? How do you live twenty more years after almost a lifetime without your heart, briefest glimpse of happiness, those few years, so long gone?

    “And Quoth the Raven “Nevermore”!” the stranger exclaims, pushing away from the little wall. “Oh, you Humans. Always so doomy and gloomy. Find some enjoyment in life! Live a little!” He clasps Selek’s shoulder. “Oh, apologies. You are half Vulcan, after all. But do you hear yourself think? There’s more humanity in you than anything else.”

    “Can I help you?”

The stranger winks. “Oh, maybe, yes. Do you happen to know a man by the name of … Admiral James T Kirk?”

Selek stops dead in his tracks.

    “How -” His voice fails. “How do you know that name?”

    “About 5’10’’, brown eyes, brown hair, a bit curly … used to be blond! He likes horses, Shakespeare, flowers, astronomy … Do you know him?”

    “Who are you?!” There’s an age-old anger shaking in his chest, at the name seemingly used in vain by this stranger.

The stranger smiles like a cat that got the cream. “I am one of the Q.”

    “What’s your name? Who are you?”

    “Q.”

    “How do you know - how do you know that? Him.”

    “Mmmmmh, let’s just say I have my sources. But if I may: You two were fantastic for each other. A perfect fit.”

I know.

    “But then, he had to step on the, what was it, Enterprise-B and, well, the rest is, as they say, history. What a sad story. Such a bright, bright man, and he gets himself killed before his time. Pity.” The stranger grins, entirely too off.

And then he leans close to Selek. “Or did he? He was presumed dead. Did he die, Spock? Did you ever see a body? How do you know that he’s really dead? The bond? What if it broke because he’s inside a singularity that transcends dimensions?”

    “What do you want?” Selek is shaking by now.

    “It’s called the Nexus. I’m pretty sure he’s still alive in there!”

Selek starts walking again, trying not to shake, not to stumble, keep his lips pressed thinly together and blinking away the overboarding emotions, throat weighed down with ‘Ambassador Spock, sir, apologies for interrupting, but there has been a message from the USS Enterprise-B.’ on top of the scalding emptiness of knives in his heart, memories, memories, loss, over and over.

The hand on his shoulder almost makes him buckle; the bridge offset in dark, garish red against gray skies bleeds away into lush green, a garden, wild, but beautifully maintained, with crops and flowers; a chestnut horse nibbling on some grass, a black cat with a red spotted cravat prancing after butterflies.

    “Spock? Spock! There you are! What a feisty kitten! Come here!”

It’s a voice Selek would have recognized anywhere. His heart stops, free-falling; whether it’s relief or breaking, hollow sadness he couldn’t say, nostalgia and fear and yearning and ecstasy mixed together.

The caller comes into focus and Selek can’t help himself but reach out. Just one touch. One fleeting press of fingertips against fabric, against skin, against hair, and he would be content for eternity.

The vision fizzles and fades, replaced instead by the heavy gray around. It’s started to rain. Q is nowhere to be found.

*∞*∞*

    “They were thigh-la,” Jim says absent-mindedly, running his fingers over the fabric of Spock’s robe. It is not as though Spock minds - he has waited far too long for this. But Jim’s statement is perplexing.

    “They were what?”

    “Thigh- Thigh-la? It’s a term Selek used, I think it’s Vulcan.”

    “There is no such term. Perhaps you misheard.”     “No, no, it’s a thing! Um, they were like … it’s going to sound stupid, but they were - soulmates, so to speak.”

    “Oh. You are referring to the bond of t’hy’la.”

    “Yeah! Exactly!” Jim sits up to face Spock, excitement sparking from his eyes. Spock finds he misses the warm weight of the Human’s torso against his. “What does it mean, exactly?”

    “Like you said. Soulmates.”

    “Oh.” Jim leans against Spock again, tethering him back to the universe that is wide open and, for the first time, welcoming. Smiling. Like coming home to a new place.

Then: “Are you angry at him? Selek, I mean.”

Spock allows himself a deep exhale, Jim’s pulse loud in his fingertips on his neck.

    “I think … I think I am lucky to be unable to understand his motivation.”

    “What do you mean?”

    “Selek is … broken, beyond words. I cannot imagine - such a life, only so few years with your counterpart, and then all the time spent alone. I cannot be angry at him for - for being desperate. For wanting.”

    “I wanted to help him. I really did. I still do. But … unless we find my counterpart, there’s no helping him, is there?”

    “I am afraid not.”

    “So he’ll never know love again.”

    “No. And not even - what you gave him, Jim, though well-meant - it was not the love he needs. You are not what he needs, even though it is of course easier for him to delude himself to think that you are. I do not blame him.”

*∞*∞*

They see Selek again for their departure, the first time since, well, since. The Enterprise is set to a set of coordinates that presumably hold a singularity, and Selek will be coming with them. Presumably. Dear Creator, Humans certainly are one of the most delightful species.

Command hadn’t given them a reason for any of this, and it hadn’t seemed like any of them even know why the Enterprise needed to go there. The Humans find it odd, but have decided not to argue.

Jim’s only barely keeping himself from touching Spock. They’re not exactly out - Spock had felt the need to inform Nyota, and Jim had of course told Leo, but to everyone else they were still Captain Kirk and Commander Spock, nothing more. Delightful in their insecurity.

Selek holds himself differently, even more of a paradox than he’d been before, more straight, more lively, but like someone else was pulling the strings. Hm. As easy as all these little beings are, they certainly are fascinating. You can never really know how they’ll react.

    “I’m happy to have you on board,” Jim ventures. He’d been worried about the old half-Vulcan, but then pre-departure-preps had hit him and he hadn’t found the time to check up on him, and in true Human fashion he had resigned himself to hoping that he was alright.

Selek reaches out to touch his shoulder, and Spock steps closer to Jim, warning, threatening.

    “I learned my lesson, Spock. And I’m grateful you didn’t take it amiss. Learn from my mistakes, Spock.”

Selek keeps to himself. The Enterprise shoots through the stars, brimming with eagerness as she always does, always did, in every universe, in every dimension, a beating heart bright like the sun, a beacon of hope. They all hope, each for their own sake, and the ship carries the hope out into the void, a cheerful resistance against inevitability.

Oh, they have no idea.

A flick, a flimmer of thought, and the Enterprise stops, dead, out of power, shining brightly among the eternal night.

Inside, there is mayhem.

They can’t see it of course, but the Nexus is there, waiting. Not an entity that had endeared itself with kindness usually - it’s a grotesque, ugly thing, devouring, feeding off life energy, the immortal souls trapped within. Paradisical for lower lifeforms, no doubt - that was, after all, the Nexus’ spiel - but for anyone with a bit of a mind to see beyond the veil, it appeared more of a parasite.

Its maw was gaping, tongue trying to reach out to the tiny silver ship braving its edges, like a predator in waiting. Thank the Creator for chaining it at the Junction; otherwise, it would’ve been unstoppable.

The old half-Vulcan doesn’t seem to be interested in the when’s and if’s and but’s presented in increasing desperation by the Enterprise’s crew.

    “It’s where I have to go. Please, let me. Allow me this one last thing.”

Ah. So he can feel it then. Splendid.

Jim Kirk doesn’t cry as he allows Selek a shuttle and wishes him farewell. Maybe there’s a part of him that understands.

And then the shuttle takes off, a tiny speck of silver, a shooting star, falling right into the abyss,  the beast’s open maw. The Enterprise crew doesn’t see it, doesn’t hear it, only the shuttle’s life signals cutting off as though it never was. In a way, it wasn’t. The nonexistent prime timeline dies with Selek - Spock. This one will be different. Far, far different, except for the constants that vein every timeline, every universe, every dimension, a tether to the greater order.

Perhaps it is only merciful to give the Enterprise something to explore here. The Nexus can’t touch them anyways. Their time hasn’t come yet.

So, an oddly colored nebula sparkles into existence, flickering in and out, a proper scientific problem. It will let them discover several properties of dark matter instability years before they should have that knowledge, but then again it’s nothing but a drop in the ocean.

*∞*∞*

The shuttle begins gradually fading away, mattering less and less in this - wherever, whatever. Then, there’s only the forest. Trees rushing in the wind, birds singing, golden sunshine and bright green, stones and leaves crunching underfoot.

The path is narrow but worn, boot prints and hoof prints engraved deep into the ochre soil. Around a bend and over a wooden bridge crossing a stream, until there is a small artfully rusted gate. It swings open easily.

The garden is lush green, wild, but beautifully maintained, with crops and flowers; a chestnut horse nibbling on some grass, a black cat with a red spotted cravat prancing after butterflies.

    “Spock? Spock! There you are! What a feisty kitten! Come here!”

There’s the call again.

The rusted metal is real under his fingers; the roses smell lovely and the leaves are green. It’s like coming home to a new place. Different, but home.

*∞*∞*

Let me not to the marriage of true mindsAdmit impediments. Love is not loveWhich alters when it alteration finds,Or bends with the remover to remove.O no! it is an ever-fixed markThat looks on tempests and is never shaken;It is the star to every wand'ring bark,Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeksWithin his bending sickle's compass come;Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,But bears it out even to the edge of doom.     If this be error and upon me prov'd,     I never writ, nor no man ever lov'd.

there we go that was it!!! i really, really hope you enjoyed it, and i’m sorry for the super duper long wait. i’ll post it to ao3 some day, i think, as soon as i manage to come up with a title 

thank you for that wonderful prompt, anon!!

if you found every reference and stolen quote, let me know :D

also, disclaimer: i’ve seen the first four eps of tng, that’s how well i know q. i’ve never seen generations, of the poems i used i only ever analyzed one (the last one, aka my favorite). AND ofc it’s not beta read at all or anything, yikes!!! :DD

i think @gumballgladiator wanted to be tagged in this when it’s done? if anyone else wants to be tagged in stuff lmk!!

bye i’ll go to the gym now, i’m mentally exhausted :p