#(not to mention I also happen to be ace so by all societal norms I shouldn't be considered queer or sth. lmao)

[rosenfey]

okay I'm going to be a hater for a second because this is my blog and i deserve it. I hate how common it is that queer f/m pairings are considered straight and I hate seeing negativity about them and bisexuals being constantly erased from queer spaces because god forbid we are something more than just "half heterosexual"

[inriospocket]

Would you mind writing this as a birthday present for me please ❤️? Rio and reader are good friends. She’s got a big crush on him but knows he’s never going to go for her. She’s more on the curvier/nerdier side and saw the girls he goes for (not to mention what a lovesick puppy he’s around Beth). A deal goes wrong and she tries to cheer him up and help solve it, but he gets frustrated and ends up taking it out on her calling her awful things. She’s very hurt by his harsh words and ends their friendship and disappears from his life. Once Rio is calmed down he finds a present waiting at his house (she had keys to his house which she also left with the present). It’s a birthday present for him with a card saying very corny loving stuff and a line saying “I wish you would see me and think of me worthy of your love” or something similar. Up to you if you want to give it a happy ending and/or add some loving smut. Thank you and I hope you’ve got a beautiful weekend 😘❤️.

I'm so sorry this is so late and I hope you had the best birthday! When I read your request, just to be completely transparent I was a little skeptical about the idea of the reader giving Rio a gift after he treated her like shit so I twisted it up a bit so it wasn't like she was trying to earn his affection through a present that he never deserved. So I hope you like this anyway. :)

Loving You

word count ♡ 1,032

summary ♡ Rio and reader are good friends until a deal goes wrong and he takes it out on her.

situation ♡ angsty/mildy fluffy

warnings ♡ shouting

-

You’d like to think that you and Rio were good friends. Essentially, you were but from your perspective, you wanted more but never thought he’d feel the same. You were beautiful inside and out but you always thought he couldn’t see it. You pictured him loving another societal norm.

You believed he could have never loved your chubby figure and your spew of random facts and aced trivia as if that should have been an issue at all.

But all in all, you had a great connection and you helped him through his worst and his best but sometimes he did take you for granted.

“Are you okay, Rio?” You asked him as he walked through the door, slamming it behind him. You usually went over to his house earlier because you had a key, waiting for him to get home so you both could hang out like usual.

He went straight to the kitchen to pour himself a drink; something to relax him and help him think or maybe just to forget.

“What happened?” You asked, walking towards the bar. “Don’t worry ‘bout it.” He ignored her, taking a large sip.

“No, you’re obviously upset. Did something go wrong? Was it a bad deal?” You pushed until his loud tone made you jump.

“NO! I said don’t worry about it, whatchu not understanding?” He looked at you, perturbed.

“...I was just trying to he-” You started to say quietly but he interrupted. “I don’t need your help, Y/N. You’re not my girl, and never will be.” He said.

You were taken aback by his statement, not really understanding the correlation. “I never said I was...” You said, hurt.

“Why you still here?” He asked, and you felt flustered. “I guess I’ll just go then.” You said, getting your purse to leave.

You couldn’t sleep that night. You wondered why you were never good enough for the people you loved. You were embarrassed, realizing that he knew this entire time how you felt about him and he held it against you to finally push you away.

You took your pillow and held it to your face, screaming into it. You hated yourself for still worrying about him, and for what? What was it all for? Holding him down, being a good friend, putting him before anyone else.

But for once, you took this is as a sign to start new, fresh, finding you and loving you. You didn’t bother texting him like usual to check on him, you deleted his number, quit your shitty job and took the final leap to do what you wanted to do.

Meanwhile, a couple of months went by and Rio continued to grow his business. Money was always coming in, but he still felt like he was lacking in something, or maybe someone. He came home from a long day of work to a package on his doorstep. He didn’t order anything recently so he was skeptical until he opened it. You remembered his birthday, like you always did.

“I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture you and I together. Happy Birthday, Rio.” The card read and he smiled, for the first time in a long time but it faded away once he realized how shitty he treated you.

He knew you were in love with him, but he was too busy chasing money and other women. So, he took it upon himself to track you down, and try to win you over in person.

Bouquet in hand, he knocked on your door but was surprised an unfamiliar face opened it. The man in front of him was literally the definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Rio was attractive in his own way that made women swoon but he had to admit, this guy was attractive in a different way.

“I’m looking for [Y/N].” Rio said. The guy looked at the bouquet and then back up at him before calling you.

“Babe! Someone’s here for you!” He called. You came quickly, surprised to see him standing there. You motioned towards your boyfriend to give you privacy and he gladly obliged.

“Hey...” You said, giving him a small smile. He scanned you from head to toe, realizing how attractive you were but he just never noticed. Actually, it kind of surprised him that you still looked the exact same and you were. The only things you changed about yourself were from within, glow ups don’t always have to amount to your appearance.

That was also something you had to learn as well.

“I just wanted to apologize.” He said, handing you the bouquet. “Well...thank you. These are beautiful.” You said, smelling them.

It was an awkward silence until he spoke up again. “I’m kind of surprised you left me that note that was in the package you sent considering...” He started, hinting towards your new boyfriend.

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion until you realized he finally received his birthday gift. “Oh! I’m sorry, I sent that a long time ago so you’d be able to open it on your birthday,” You chuckled.

His smirk fell when he realized that he didn’t have a chance, even before coming to you. He opened up feelings that were no longer there.

“[Y/N]! Hurry up, pizza’s getting cold!” Your boyfriend called. You looked back, grinning from ear to ear.

Rio felt a bit envious of the both of them but was happier for her more than anything. You didn’t expect to find someone new but he stumbled on your path and showers your most vulnerable parts with adoration so why not keep him?

“Thanks for the flowers, I hope you find your happiness too Rio. Just...not with me.” You said.

Rio smirked at how straightforward you were now. “Thanks, mama.” He said, turning on his heels and finally walking out of your life.

Anyone else would have thrown the flowers away with the way he treated you all this time but you kept them.

You watered them, and cherished them but just like some relationships, some feelings even, they wither away and die.

It wasn’t because you didn’t love them; it just wasn’t meant to live for you.

[themagnuswriters]

Asexuality in Fic Roundtable - What We Like

How do I write a convincing asexual character in a fic?  Is there a way to address a character’s sexuality outside the context of sex or coming out?  Can a story feature a character's asexuality aside from exploring the negative aspects of the asexual experience?  It’s usually not too hard to find lists of what not to do when writing asexual characters, but much more difficult to find the opposite.

The asexual members of The Magnus Writers discord gathered to discuss their favorite ways to incorporate the day-to-day details of asexual peoples’ experiences into fiction.  We also discussed depictions that we’ve enjoyed in the past, or would love to see more of.  Note that this isn’t an Asexuality 101 resource, so if you don’t feel familiar with the basics, feel free to check out the resources we will link in the reblog of this post.

This conversation included a variety of ace-spectrum people from multiple countries, including both arospec and non-aro people, various genders, and varying relationships to sex and sexual content.  Just like all asexual people are different, the things that we enjoy reading are far from universal.  Some tropes/details brought up as favorites can vary widely--for example, “innuendo completely flies over their head” vs. “they understand but are completely unfazed by innuendo.”  Additionally, some aces love tropes that others would prefer to avoid: for instance some enjoy discussions of physical boundaries to be included in the fic, and some prefer that to be established as happening in the past.  

The examples brought up in our discussion are also far from comprehensive, and can be seen as the beginning of an endless list of possible ways to write asexual characters.  Some examples given are specific to the Magnus Archives, but can apply to any writing.  Take these as inspiration and a way to broaden your understanding of who we are and what we like to see!

ASEXUALITY IN YOUR SETTING

When writing a story including asexual characters, one of your first considerations may be for how asexuality is contextualized within your setting:  Is it fully normalized and accepted?  Does it reflect real-world stigmas?  How is asexuality treated by the narrative and the other characters?  Contributors showed interest in a variety of approaches on this front, with no single approach being worth more than other:

Fics including negative real-world experiences

These would include fics in a realistic setting, where characters may struggle with internalized acephobia, stigma, social pressure, microaggressions, dysphoria, and so on.  This isn’t limited to just “issue fic,” where the focus of the fic is about examining and confronting a struggle, but rather encompasses anything that includes this consideration in its worldbuilding and characterization.  While brighter settings can be refreshing, contributors described reasons why this kind of fic appeals to them:

Feeling seen: Reading about ace characters whose experiences reflect their own

Feeling validated:  Being exposed to only stories where there are no issues on this front can feel like we’re the only one facing these struggles.  It can be extremely cathartic to read something and think “I thought I was the only person who went through this.”

Exploring improvement/hope:  From ace characters learning to accept themselves or other characters making mistakes and accepting correction, these can be validating and encouraging.

On top of ace readers finding worth in these fics, the act of writing the fic can also be very cathartic for many ace authors.

There is a lot of variety for how these fics can be written, such as:

Stories that focus on the negative experience

Stories where that experience is just part of the setting or characterization

The character(s) getting external support and validation

The character facing mixed dismissiveness, acceptance, prejudice, etc. from different people

The story resolving in a way where the situation is resolved: for instance, cutting off an acephobic relationship, or someone apologizing for a microaggression.

Stories where well-meaning characters are accidentally insensitive about asexuality, but learn better and change their behavior

The character confronting or overcoming an internal struggle

Stories where the issues aren’t fully resolved by the end, such as an insecurity not fully going away.

Negative asexual experiences don’t have to be the focus of a fic to be acknowledged. While “issue fics” that closely examine and explore these experiences are valuable, contributors also described enjoying stories that included them as simply an element of the worldbuilding or characterization.  For instance, a story may reference Jon having bad past relationship experiences; facing assumptions that he’s having sex if he’s in a relationship; having moments of insecurities about his sexuality; etc.

Please note that writing negative ace experiences needs to be handled sensitively; fics of this type should definitely be tagged appropriately.  For brief references, consider including author’s note warnings on the appropriate chapter (e.g. “asexual character assumed to be having sex”).  Having an asexual sensitivity reader--particularly one of a type that corresponds with what you’re writing (i.e. sex-neutral, gray-ace, sex-repulsed, etc)--is very much encouraged.

Fics where asexuality is normalized

In contrast, there is just as much interest in stories that avoid all of these issues, and fully normalize asexuality.  Contributors described how they enjoy stories where ace characters are allowed to just exist, without big important conversations or small othering details that depict asexual identities as less than fully accepted.

These can be included in any type of fic, but a few of the suggested details for how to normalize asexuality in a setting include:

A character being already out and accepted:  For instance, Martin already knowing about Jon’s asexuality from early seasons.

Characters in the fic already knowing what asexuality is without needing it explained to them

Having more than one character be asexual:  We aren’t confined to writing only canon characters as ace!  This not only goes the extra mile in normalizing asexuality, but it gives the chance to include more of the ace spectrum.

If you’re aiming for asexuality to be normalized, please consider whether it makes sense for your asexual character to be anxious about coming out or discussing boundaries.  There is a world of difference between someone responding to an ace character coming out with “I fully support you” and responding with “you’re an idiot for thinking we wouldn’t support you.”  This is a common and easy pitfall to fall into, but the result is often less escapism and more a message of “your struggles aren’t real, and you’re stupid for thinking they are.”

Asexuality in Metaphor

Some contributors mentioned wanting to read settings where asexuality itself is normalized, but the issues facing aces could be explored on a metaphorical level.  This falls somewhere in between the ideas of realistic or idealized settings as regards the ace experience, and could allow that exploration with a layer of distance.  Ideas relating to this included fantasy settings with different kinds of magic.

PERSONALITY AND CHARACTERIZATION

The experience of being asexual isn’t something just limited to a relationship with sex: it can be shown in many ways, such as how a character relates to themselves, other people, media, and society.  Like any other queer identity, it affects many aspects of our lives and informs a great deal about us as people.  These little details don’t even need to be presented in a blunt “this is because this character is asexual” way--they can be little relatable notes for your ace readers, while not coming across in a “this is how all ace people are” way.

We’ve seen the question “how do I write a character as asexual, if I’m not planning on having someone ask them for sex or writing a coming-out scene?” many times.  Our contributors were excited to share a wide variety of ideas for this from things they’ve read, written, or experienced:

Ace confusion

Not to be confused with the infantilizing “doesn’t know what sex is” approach, this could involve things like:

Being confused over what sexual attraction is: difficulty defining what they don’t experience.

Difficulty describing to others what lack of sexual attraction is: this is their default, and it can be difficult to contrast it to what they don’t experience.

Thinking that others describing sexual attraction or interest is just exaggeration

“Wait, that’s what you mean when you say ‘hot’?  I just thought it meant they’re gorgeous.”

“You mean meeting someone and being instantly sexually interested in them is a real thing, and not just a movie trope?”

The Absurdity of How Society Views Sex

The jarring dissonance between asexual experiences and the norms in society and media can cause a lot of alienation and dysphoria in aces, but often it hits a point of feeling like a joke is being played on you.  Contributors offered ideas for how this could be illustrated through a character:

Reading “How to Spice Up Your Love Life” articles out of pure morbid curiosity

Taking the most ridiculous Cosmo sex life article as How Everyone Thinks (and being concerned)

Having an allo friend or partner they can ask about whether any of it is legitimate advice (this one was brought up by a lot of people as a common ace experience)

An ADHD/autistic character getting a special interest or hyperfixation on societal views on sex or sexual practices, and pursuing it as purely a matter of research with no interest in participating

“Why do they keep bringing up ice cubes?  Georgie, stop laughing, I am a researcher and a scholar.”

Needing to teleport out of the room if a sex scene comes up in a movie

Not minding the sex scenes, but needing to make fun of them or point out impracticalities

“On the beach?  But sand is everywhere?  Wait, they think getting sand everywhere is hot??”

Being baffled at what’s considered sexy: for example, Jon being baffled at “wet clothes are sexy,” having grown up by the beach and associating them with being terribly uncomfortable

Of course, asexual characters don’t need to be framed like they constantly need to learn about things from allo people--sometimes the reverse can be a fun twist.  One reversal, for example, could be an ace person helping their allo friend parse whether their attraction to someone is simply sexual or also romantic.

Aces vs. flirting

While not specifically connected to sexual attraction, how a character interacts with flirting can very much demonstrate the asexual experience.  Contributors discussed a variety of their own experiences, and details they’ve enjoyed reading for ace characters:

Having difficulty distinguishing between different kinds of draws to people--is it romance?  Friendship?  

Having difficulty picking up on whether or not someone is interested in them

Failing to realize they’re flirting or being flirted with

Enjoying flirting as just a fun thing to do without any particular goal (a popular suggestion for a Tim ace headcanon)

Casually flirting but then backing off if it becomes “real”

Several examples were given of scenarios these could be used for Jon:

Jon’s dry prickliness stemming from wanting to avoid people thinking he’s flirting or showing interest in them, not being sure where others judge the line between “flirting” or “being nice.”  

Jon deciding he is going to make an effort to be more friendly to people, and awkwardly starts showering others with compliments; some of them interpret it as flirting and it’s very confusing.

Jon (or Martin) being overly dramatic or romantic when purposefully showing interest in someone, drawing from a basis of books or media rather than social experience.

Aces vs. hotness

We might use the word “hot” excessively, but ace people often have their own understanding of the word (and are often surprised to learn what others mean by it).  Contributors brought up the following ideas for this area:

Using “hot” as an expression of “gorgeous to look at,” and being confused to learn that others use it as a sexual expression.

Engaging with “are they hot” conversations based purely on aesthetics, or other impressions like “would they give good hugs.”

Focusing on seemingly random physical details, like wrists or eyebrow shape, over more commonly sexualized ones.

Being confused over the criteria others use for hotness.  Example:  Jon’s reaction to “the hot one” comment.

Finding fictional characters not represented by a real person “hot” (e.g. from books, podcasts, video games with bad graphics, etc)

Using the words “hot” and sexy” for completely nonsexual things.  Several contributors described being told they couldn’t be ace if they called anything hot/sexy, and then doing it more out of spite.

Being completely unfazed by innuendo or sex/nudity:  For example, Jon’s calm response vs. Martin being flustered at Tim stripping

This is also an area where a story can establish the nature of their relationship with those around them: if a character is comfortably out as not being interested in sex, for instance, you can show that others around them support that by making their conversations more inclusive. For example, a “fuck, marry, kill” game with modified categories, or a “who would you have sex with” conversation changed to a “who would you have dinner with” one once the ace character enters.  

Aces vs. sexual humor

Ace people’s reactions to sexual humor can vary as much as the reactions to flirting.  Contributors described enjoying a broad range of these:

Aces who love sexual humor (not limited to sex-favorable aces)

Humor taking an angle of “sex is so strange, glad it isn’t real.”

Aces who are bored with or exhausted by sexual humor

Not finding sexual humor funny unless it’s also clever.  “Yes I know that’s a sexual reference...wait, it was meant to be funny?  Because it’s connected to sex?  ....I see.  Anyway.”

Bonus points if the “is that supposed to be funny because it’s sexual?” ace and the filthy humor ace are friends

It can even vary for the same person from setting to setting: someone may find making dirty jokes with a group of ace friends might be fun (see the “Absurdity of Sex” section above), but be very uncomfortable with someone else trying to twist something they said into something sexual.  There’s also the nature of the joke itself: a silly pun may be fine, but a joke implying the ace person is interested in sex or said something sexual without meaning to may be alienating.

For TMA, the general interpretation of Jon is that he’d be uncomfortable with sexual humor, which is relatable to a lot of asexual people, but contributors brought up other possibilities as well: for example, the idea of Jon liking clever wordplay so much that if it just so happens to include something sexual, it doesn’t feel odd to him--why do the others look so shocked?

Note:  A lot of asexual awareness posts insensitively treat the concept of aces who love filthy humor as more mature, more easygoing, less stereotypical, or otherwise superior to aces who are uncomfortable with sexual humor.  This is a very harmful attitude that looks down on a lot of asexual people, and adds a pressure to push past comfort levels to fit in and “avoid being a stereotype.”  Contributors loved reading stories that include flirty or filthy aces, but not when they take this tone.  A favorite suggestion was to include more than one ace character to depict a variety, while treating them as equally valid.

Somewhat related to this is ace people’s relationship to sexual euphemisms.  Contributors described their experiences or how they might write an ace character responding to these:

Being exhausted by how so many terms are considered euphemisms, or how any comment could be reframed as sexual.

Having a special annoyance when they accidentally stumble into or misunderstand a euphemism

Wanting to decouple euphemisms from their literal meaning: why does “spending the night” or “going home with someone” have to mean “having sex”?

In the same line, being very blunt and straightforward about making sexual references, because why dance around it?

Characterization Considerations

One discussion that is particularly relevant to The Magnus Archives is the idea of the “uptight nerd” ace persona.  It may sound strange to say, but there is some legitimacy in this characterization, but for different reasons than is stereotyped.  Many of us build up this persona while growing up--particularly in adolescence and early adulthood--to fend off uncomfortable social pressure, self-examination, or external criticism for why we relate to sex differently than our peers.  This often involves playing up certain defenses for discomfort for sex or dating:  “I don’t have time for any of that, I only have time for books and knowledge!”  Or, the adult version:  “I don’t have time for relationships, I’m married to my job!”  

Where this departs from the stereotype is that these are generally coping mechanisms or facades rather than the truth.  Asexuality isn’t “of course they don’t have time for sex, they’re obsessed with this or that”--but an asexual person who doesn’t feel comfortable in their environment, such as around work, school, or family, may deflect judgment with similar excuses.  Similar to this, some find it tempting to be antisocial or hostile on purpose to fend off interest in them or avoid sexual expectations.

This is, of course, far from the only way an ace character could be written.  For instance, if you wanted to write a setting where asexuality is more accepted, you could write Jon’s antisocial and closed-off tendencies as a result of being bullied from a very young age, while he is confident and secure in his asexuality.  Or for other characters: you could write Tim as someone who has enjoyed sexual relationships, but just thought everyone was exaggerating on the attraction side of things.

Intersection of Asexuality with Other Identities

Another characterization consideration is how asexuality intersects with other identities and experiences included in the fic.  Below are a few examples of many:

Asexuality and masculinity:  Social expectations of masculinity place a high emphasis on sexuality, particularly heterosexuality, treating sexual activity as a commodity or prize.  One possible reading of The Magnus Archives is Jon’s tendency to have closer and more numerous friendships with women connects to this.    

Asexuality and trans identities:  There is a significant overlap between aspec and trans identities, particularly nonbinary identities.  Based on an October 2020 study by the Trevor Project (see link in reblog), ace respondents were roughly 50% more likely to be trans (including nonbinary) than allo respondents.  Contributors described how they’ve felt things like “is this dysphoria I’m feeling a gender thing or an asexuality thing,” or how figuring out their asexuality helped them explore their gender.

Asexuality and race:  In combination with LGBTQ+ spaces often being white-dominated, people of color often face stereotypes that hypersexualize or desexualize them.  This can have a strong impact on people of color’s experience and self-perception as asexual.  For instance, if you are writing Jon as Indian, you could consider how this may have impacted his experiences in LGBTQ spaces in university.  As there is no ‘one size fits all’ experience for aces of color, we strongly recommend researching for the particular background you have in mind.  We will be adding resource links to our main page shortly, but in the meantime check out the links in the reblog of this post!

INTIMACY AND RELATIONSHIPS

One of the topics addressed in our discussion was how a character’s asexuality may impact their experiences with intimacy and romantic relationships. Contributors discussed ways to portray this in fic, whether or not it includes sex or even mentions it.

Physical Intimacy

Intimacy, sensuality, and sex are separate things that may or may not overlap depending on the individual.  Contributors discussed how, for people across the ace spectrum, the relationship between these three tends to differ from common societal frameworks or depictions of intimacy in fiction.

Enjoying physical intimacy without the expectation that it will become sexual: massages, falling asleep on top of each other, bathing together, etc.

This includes acts that would often be expected to “lead somewhere” but don’t, such as lots of touching or nude cuddling.

Craving closeness/touch completely outside of sexual drive

One scenario suggested for this topic is an asexual character discovering that without the worry that an act of intimacy will ‘lead somewhere,’ they enjoy something they used to get anxious about, such as sharing a bed or showering together.

Boundaries & Communication

Stories with an asexual character in a relationship often address physical boundaries within that relationship.  The below are some of the scenarios contributors have enjoyed:

People communicating over their sexual boundaries, rather than assuming what these are as soon as they hear the word “asexual.”

The boundaries discussion being framed as something that any couple in a fictional relationship should have, not just because one is asexual.

In relationships between allo and ace characters, the allo character having boundaries of their own, rather than just the ace character.

Normalizing boundaries discussions for allo couples as well.

Note:  If a boundaries discussion involves a sex-favorable ace character, take caution at the risk of having them sound offended or derisive that the discussion is happening (e.g. “What, I’m not a child” or “Not all aces are like that.”).  Enforcing the idea that people should assume their partner is sex-interested is extremely harmful to sex-disinterested aces.

Some contributors noted that they prefer fics where the boundaries discussion is something that has taken place in the past, rather than run through at the beginning of each fic they read.  In these cases, this past discussion could be illustrated in the interaction itself: a character’s awareness of what lines not to cross, the other’s confidence and trust that those boundaries will be respected, and so on.

Issues of Intimacy Outside of Sex

While aversion to sex is the most well-known dimension of asexuality, there are other aversions and boundaries that could apply to either ace or allo characters:

Ace characters that are kiss-averse and/or touch-averse:  This also works against the “They won’t have sex, but they’ll make up for that with kissing even more!” trope that implies asexual people have to compensate for a nonsexual relationship.

Allo characters with their own aversions or specific boundaries: suggestions included how this can apply to trans characters.

Fluctuations in levels of aversion (note: it is important to not treat increased aversion as “progress” or decreased aversion as “regression”)

In cases of fluctuating aversion, characters developing ways to communicate these levels, and responding appropriately.  For example, “Kissing is not on the table right now, let’s move on to something more comfortable.”

Contributors were excited to discuss how this area could particularly be used for the allo partner of an ace character, such as an allo Martin having difficulties with touch post-Lonely, or discovering that he doesn’t enjoy kissing.

Relationships to Sex (or Lack Thereof)

Asexuality ‘subtypes’ are terms many aces describe their personal relationship with sex and/or sexual content.  These are simplified self-descriptors rather than rigid categories or mini-sexualities, and the terms rarely encompass the full detail of that relationship.  Please note that the below discussion assumes a general familiarity with ace subtypes.

Needless to say, aces across the spectrum and of every subtype want to see their identities represented in fic.  The discussion focused on ways to illustrate those experiences, and details contributors would enjoy seeing:

Non-averse aces trying sex and deciding they have no interest in it: pushing back against the “if you’re not repulsed you’ll like and want sex” idea.

No expectation that “sex-favorable” means always interested in sex.

The pressure an ace person may face to oversimplify their relationship to sex or sexual content out of fear they’ll appear inconsistent or exaggerating:  “If I’m okay with this now, what if I’m not later?  Will I seem picky if I’m only comfortable with something in an extremely specific scenario?”

“Sex repulsion” and “sex aversion” generally are used to describe asexual people who don’t want sex, but are simplified terms for what can be immensely varied experiences.  Someone could be repulsed by physical involvement in sex, repulsed by personally engaging in anything sexual, repulsed by sexual content, repulsed by just the idea of sex--or any variation or combination of these.  There are even repulsions that could be part of more sex-interested subtypes: an ace who enjoys sex but is repulsed by nudity, or an ace who enjoys sexual activities with a partner but not being touched during them, etc.

Contributors discussed how much they enjoy reading simple “I just don’t want sex” approaches to aversion/repulsion, but also look forward to reading explorations such as:

Enjoying one specific type of engagement with sexual content or activity, but having an aversion to others.

Regularly varying levels of repulsion: Days of “please don’t remind me sex exists” to days of mild curiosity, for instance.

Aces with a relationship to sex that doesn’t involve another person, including if they’re in a relationship.

Fluidity between ace subtypes can fluctuate between sex-interested and sex-disinterested in both directions: it can be both “I said I wasn’t interested in this before, but let’s carefully revisit” and “I know we’ve been doing this, but I’m no longer comfortable with it.”  Contributors mentioned never having seen fic with the latter, and expressed an interest in reading stories exploring this.

On this note, it is common for stories of fluidity between subtypes to be only moving in a more sex-interested direction.  Many asexual people, particularly sex-averse aces, face immense pressure to ‘learn how to like sex,’ or have their sexuality erased by saying they’re a ‘late bloomer’ who will learn to like it later.  Depicting this direction should be done with great care and nuance, and we strongly recommend getting feedback from a sex-disinterested sensitivity reader for stories of this type.  It’s possible that an ace reader who isn’t sex-disinterested would miss or not be affected by something that is quite painful to sex-disinterested aces.

CONCLUSION

If you’ve stuck with us for this long, well done! We understand that such a long resource can be a bit overwhelming, but we hope it can show you the depth of variety and enthusiasm ace readers have for more ace content and inspire you further.  One thing we all had in common during our discussion was how excited we were to have a canonically asexual protagonist, and how thrilled we were to see content that explored his asexuality.  In putting together this resource, we hope that you are encouraged to write about characters whose asexuality impacts their experiences and the story in unique, thoughtful, and creative ways.  We can’t wait to see what you come up with!

[auroraborus]

Warning: Mention of dysphoria, self harm

Sexuality and gender are confusing. Even after years wearing one label you may find it's not quite right, other times you have to face the fact that you don't conform to the "standard." I've recently realized- Or more accurately; admitted- That I am not cisgender. As I have mentioned before, I've been closeted to all but a few people my whole life. Sexual orientation (or lack thereof) was loud and demanded to be dealt with, but I feel like gender was quieter.

We live in a society where gender isn't questioned. We don't sit around and talk about our genders like we talk about sexual orientation. If the default for sexuality is to assume straight until proven otherwise, this is ten times more true for gender. It's not just that we don't talk about it, we actively avoid questioning it or bringing it up.

I'm reminded in this thread of a trip my family took to Key West in Florida, USA. Key West is famous for its nightlife, music, and most of all; drag queens. Cross-dressing is so prevalent in Key West that it almost becomes more of the norm than the minority at night. My parents took me on a walk down main street and I saw many new and exciting things. Women wore whatever they wanted, some barely anything at all. Men openly wore skirts and dresses, often decked out with heals and make-up even when they weren't in full drag. All through this wonderful experience, however, I remember my mom reminding me over and over "These are just men having a good time. Some are role playing as characters who will sometimes hit on guys, but most of them are actually straight. Even if they wear dresses and big earrings they are still men." In the words of John Mulaney, we don't have time to unpack all of that. 

What I'm getting at here was the strict reminders and clear message that even when men did feminine things, they were still men.  (If only she had this stance of trans men) At no point should you question their gender or sexuality even if they were making it clear they didn't fall into the heteronormative societal roles. I'm also reminded of a crossplaying panel I attended hosted by an AFAB non-binary cosplayer. They mentioned that even wearing a full beard people would still refer to them with she/her pronouns. People stuck to the role that they thought they belonged in, even with an obvious outward sign that they were nonconforming. Both of these are examples of this unwillingness to open the discussion at all. People are so afraid of stepping outside of the binary structure as they understand it they will willingly misgender a person.

With a society that works to ignore binary-non-conformity I feel like gender exploration becomes taboo. It was much easier to ignore my own discomfort than confront it, especially when I had no idea what else there was. Experimenting with labels and pronouns is really only possible anonymously online until you are pretty sure of your place, and when you are ready to bring it up it's a big deal. The fear of people saying your feelings and experiences are "just a phase" can make it really scary to experiment in case the label or pronouns don't fit.

What the hell is actually wrong with phases, anyway? Sure you are going to grow out of them, but that's natural. You can't teleport from point A to point Z, there are a lot of places to go through in between. I had a phase of being a child, but I became an adolescent and eventually an adult. (by age at least) If I tried to buy alcohol with an underage ID it wouldn't be legal, even though my age is just a phase. See, we need phases to grow. Everything has phases. Until we as a society accept that; experimentation is going to remain terrifying.

So here I am. Living on my own. Out from under the roof that forced me to stay closeted, but rather than feeling free I felt more trapped than ever. It was like loosening the lid on a shaken soda, more space just increased the pressure. It wasn't the first time I had experienced dysphoria, but it certainly was the worst. There was one day where I couldn't manage to put on clothes for hours since my entire wardrobe reeked of binarism. I wanted to cut my hair off, all of it at once. I wanted to cut myself. Suddenly the quiet discomfort that had been growing inside of me for years was very loud and very present. I was forced to use introspection, something I had procrastinated for far too long.

Why, though? Why did I avoid confronting the topic until it became life-threatening? It's not that I am afraid of LGBTQIA+ topics, I already went on the whole journey of realizing I was asexual homo-romantic, which is definitely not one of the garden variety labels. I have many friends who are trans and/or non-binary, as well, so it's not like I was unfamiliar with the subject. I think it really boiled down to two problems, one internal and the other external. 

First, I didn't feel like I deserved to have a "special" identity, basically I told myself I was close enough to Cis to deal and therefore didn't need to make my problems other people's problems by talking about them. Dumb, I know, but this type of thought process happens when you struggle with anxiety and self-hatred.

Second, and possibly more importantly; I was afraid to go outside of my gender box. I was scared that other people would call me a snowflake. I rationalized that I would never pass as anything other than my assigned gender, and I reasoned that my family would be confused and disappointed in me if they found out. The same reasons I struggled with my Ace label, but with a new and fabulous seasoning of "my gender identity doesn't actually affect my life that much." The hypothesis obviously being disproven by my own mental health problems.

I thank God that I do have supportive and accepting friends, but my main concern after finally admitting my gender situation to myself was still "am I confident enough in this to tell other people? Could it be a phase?" Sexuality is hard and gender is confusing. The lack of ability to comfortably experiment is what makes self-exploration so frightening.

You would be bored to tears if I detailed the amount of research I had to do just to find reliable information on gender labels. This not mentioning the self-reflection required to determine how long I had felt disenchanted with binarism and what parts of my identity were direct results of my Asexuality. It took a lot of painful time. Painful? Yes. I felt anguished, out of place. You can wear shoes that are the wrong size for a short amount of time but if you wore them all day they would start to hurt badly. Longer than that and they would reach the point where they were unbearable to wear and you were unable to walk. I had reached that point, and I couldn’t wait to slip into a better fit. The more shoes I looked at, though, the more I thought about my aching feet, and the worse I felt.

Alright, alright. I have danced around it for a long time, I'm sure you are dying to know what shoe- I mean gender- I picked. To continue using the dead analogy with the shoes I realized I was better off barefoot. The only labels that felt okay were genderqueer and agender, agender being the more comfortable of the two. 

I honestly don't know at this point if that's always how I will identify. Also, the finer details of pronouns and names are difficult. I like my name, it's not my fault it belongs to an arbitrary binary system where certain syllable combinations are code for which genitals I had at birth and are associated with assumptions about my gender, personality, and upbringing. Pronouns are weird, too; at the moment I'm just going with whatever people assume since I have no kinship with any particular set, however, this still feels uncomfortable. Gender is an adventure just like everything else in life, and I haven't reached the story goal just yet.

Sexuality and gender are still confusing, but I think healthy exploration and education can really improve the experience. I don't know right now if my labels are permanent, but that's okay. Everything has phases, even the moon, and everything has ebb and flow, even the ocean. I'm learning to accept myself a little more all the time.

[vulnerablr]

do straight people ever think romantically/sexually of their own gender? i worried people would think i was a lesbian because i didn't have a boyfriend and no guy seemed to want me. but i also had dreams, starting when i was a child, about same sex relationships. i remember feeling conflicted about a 'tomboy' character in a cartoon. i just figured that i was totally straight and this is something that happens. but now i ID as panro/ace, and wonder, were those pan feelings there all along?

Normally I shy away from concrete answers but I’m gonna go with a pretty solid yes.

I am of the camp that sexual orientation doesn’t really exist because gender doesn’t exist (that is to say, societal constructs, etc.) but I realize this ideology is so hand-wavy that a lot of people disagree with me, and rightfully so, because the notion of sexual orientation is steeped in political progression, which I don’t want to dismiss as being very important.

That said, identity is and always will be fluid. It can change based on self-fulfilling prophecies -- that is to say, we behave as what we believe we are -- as well as time, environment, etc. Sexual orientation is a label we give ourselves in order to categorize our behavior and seek out like-minded individuals for the sake of socialization and community. 

So straight people do at times think romantically/sexually of their own gender, because heterosexuality is a term they’ve attributed for themselves for whatever reason they thoughtfully choose or normativity they don’t wish to deviate from.

But all of these things you mention are definitely signs that your pan feelings were in fact there all along. The journey you’ve taken to get to the identity marker of pan/aro has been affected by these previous signs, your education on these terms, and other genetic predispositions and environmental components. Sexuality labels are words you attribute to behavioral patterns and personal preferences. Everyone comes upon them differently, but the point is that we don’t naturally belong in any boxes. We often put ourselves in them after thoughtful consideration or are shoved into them by societal expectations. 

[foursprout-blog]

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/this-isnt-going-away-generation-zs-demand-for-change-2/

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

Lorie Shaull/Wikimedia Commons

“How To: Survive A Mass Shooting,” was the first thing I read when I opened my computer’s browser this morning. My heart sank into my stomach when I finally wrapped my head around what I had just read.

Like many of you, I’m inspired by America’s youth, or should I say Generation Z, and the action they’ve taken in recent weeks by marching, campaigning, and petitioning for a crucial change in America so that mass casualties such as Sandy Hook and Parkland never happen again.

I wanted to better understand where their thoughts lie in a time where mass shootings have become so common that “tips” and “tricks” on how to survive these situations go viral. I wanted to learn what fears they bring with them to their desks every day and what exactly they believe needs to be done to erase them.

So, I reached out to a few of the student organizers of Chicago’s March For Our Lives, and listened. I listened and learned what inspires them, what hopes and concerns they have, and what pushes them to keep, literally and figuratively, marching on and standing up for what they believe in.

“I’m motivated by the fact that gun violence in Chicago and across the nation is the status quo. That shouldn’t be the way it is, and that’s how it is,” Jeremy Liskar, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, said.

Growing up in Detroit and coming from a place where my biggest worries in my middle and high school classrooms ranged somewhere between figuring out what was for lunch that day, and how I was going to ace my Spanish test, I wanted to hear their stories and at least try to comprehend what’s going on in their minds during a time where losing classmates, friends, and family members to gun violence is tragically becoming the norm.

“I saw a tweet the other day where a parent was talking about how his 6-year-old daughter was crying because she has light-up shoes and she said ‘Dad, if there was a shooter in the school, they would be able to see me because of my shoes,’” Sabrina Bitre, a senior at Hoffman Estates High School, said. “It broke my heart that this is the generation we’re growing.”

Isn’t the point of having light-up shoes to make a statement and stand out from all the rest? Not anymore. Not when they increase your chances of being the target for a 19-year-old active shooter who purchased an AR-15 legally. Not here in today’s America.

“The one word that I thought was, ‘again,’” Lauren Flowers a senior at Oak Park and River Forest High School said upon hearing the news that 17 people lost their lives in a mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL on February 14th. “This has happened, again?”

According to a recent report by CNN, there have been at least 12 school shootings in the year 2018 already. It’s only March… that’s an average of four per month. Another report by Chicago’s ABC 7 News states that there have been 344 shooting victims in the city of Chicago alone this year… that’s over three people per day injured by guns.

“I think of people I see in the hallway, I think of my friends, I think of my teachers, and there’s just a pit in my stomach that somebody can be here one moment, and not be there the next. That’s not supposed to be the case when you’re at school. You’re supposed to be protected, you’re supposed to be there to get an education, and the only thing you should have to worry about is getting an education,” Bitre said.

Although some of these organizers aren’t even old enough to vote, their intellect stretches far beyond their years, and their concerns regarding gun violence stem from other societal problems. They hope this movement also sheds light and creates conversation on other issues including intersectionality, poverty, and lack of funding for education, which in turn will decrease gun violence not just in schools, but on the streets as well.

“We have to realize that this doesn’t just happen in affluent white communities. This has been happening in inner cities and marginalized groups since the beginning of time, and they’ve been taking to the streets but have been shut down by the government and the media,” Bitre said. “I feel like this march is so important because we’re taking that platform that those Parkland students created and saying, ‘Let’s also not forget about these people.’ Being the voice of the people that people don’t listen to.”

According to a Mother Jones database of U.S. mass shootings since 1982, black males are responsible for 16 percent of mass shootings, which is less than one-third of the 54 percent that are white males, yet America more times than none, portrays people of color in a different light. “I really want us to start treating shooters of every race, the same way. I don’t understand why we put so much blame on people of color. We put so many negative stereotypes on them and we make them out to be monsters, but when a white man shoots up a school, people say they’re mentally ill and we have every reason in the world for why they did what they did,” Flowers said. “I feel like our lives are just not treated the same way, and I really hope that this movement will help people to see that gun violence, no matter where it is, it’s still important. No matter who is affected by it.”

With Chicago having stricter gun laws than other states, Juan Reyes, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, and a member of the Chicago Students Union, which focuses on giving Chicago Public School students a voice on local issues, has hopes this movement will extend beyond issues with the National Rifle Association.

“We want to mimic the [students] in Parkland in terms of how they are pressuring politicians. But we want to pressure them by saying, ‘We want more resources in the city for food and education to improve these impoverished communities,’ instead of just not taking money from the NRA and [issuing] tighter background checks, because that’s not really a problem here. It’s more giving to these underfunded schools, giving more resources to these communities.”

Just a few days after Parkland’s tragedy, President Trump suggested arming teachers, a proposal that according to The Washington Post, would cost anywhere from $251 million to an upward of $1 billion dollars depending on training and firearm costs.

“It’s not a coincidence that the communities most affected by gun violence in the United States are communities that are low income where people are living in poverty and are communities that have the worst education systems in America,” Bitre said. “The levels of resources that are being given to these schools are so poor, and the amount that these teachers are getting paid is so little. I think the millions of dollars that they want to put into a program for teachers to be armed should be going into the schools, because once we start seeing a better education system, the violence will start to deteriorate, little by little.”

With the amount of “thoughts and prayers” spoken outweighing the amount of action being taken to decrease gun violence, these student organizers are looking for bills with new laws to be passed, not tweets with condolences to be sent.

“Thoughts and prayers are fine, if you are [also] actively doing something to eradicate the problem, thoughts and prayers aren’t fine if you’re talking money from the NRA, and just voicing your “thoughts and prayers,” Bitre said.

Our country’s Second Amendment, which many believe solidifies citizens’ rights to own guns including semi-automatic weapons, has been a topic of debate for years, especially regarding the advancement of weapons since the creation of the Bill of Rights.

“The Second Amendment was created when they couldn’t even fathom the type of weapons that we have now,” Bitre said. “Isn’t it my right to live? Isn’t it my right to feel safe at school?”

In a report by The Washington Post, the Second Amendment was first written in 1791, when a standard revolutionary-style musket held just one round, and had an effective rate of fire of three rounds per minute. Today a standard AR-15 can hold 30 rounds and has an effective rate of fire of 45 rounds per minute, not to mention a maximum range of up to 550 feet… 500 feet further than a revolutionary-style musket.

“I hope by the end of this movement, we’re able to look back at the Second Amendment and say, ‘We’ve successfully applied this to the 21st century, and what it should look like in modern times.’” Liskar said. “Because right now I think the interpretation is so outdated.”

Generation Z has banded together and shown us there’s a lot more to them than just the latest social media fad, or coolest fashion trend. From Parkland to Chicago to Los Angeles to Baltimore, students are reaching out for funding, making t-shirts, designing posters, all to help make America safe again.

“It was a kick in the face, the idea that teenagers can’t do anything, that teenagers need adults to get things done, that we’re lazy, and that we don’t care enough about anything to really make progress,” Flowers said. “Just seeing what myself and so many others are capable of is really amazing to me, and it just makes me so happy.”

From the nationwide student walkout that took place on March 14th, to marches to sit-ins to rallies, all organized for the upcoming weeks, America’s youth shows no signs of backing down when it comes to the demand for change in our country.

“I’m really proud that this event has been able to sustain beyond the typical press cycle, and that people aren’t just saying, ‘Okay, we’re ready for gun reform,’” Liskar said. “No. We’re demanding gun reform. We’re going to march on the 24th, and there’s another walkout on April 20th. This isn’t going away.”

March For Our Lives Chicago is set to take place on March 24th at Union Park at 11:00am. For more information on where March For Our Lives is happening in your city, visit their website.

[foursprouthappiness-blog]

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/this-isnt-going-away-generation-zs-demand-for-change/

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

Lorie Shaull/Wikimedia Commons

“How To: Survive A Mass Shooting,” was the first thing I read when I opened my computer’s browser this morning. My heart sank into my stomach when I finally wrapped my head around what I had just read.

Like many of you, I’m inspired by America’s youth, or should I say Generation Z, and the action they’ve taken in recent weeks by marching, campaigning, and petitioning for a crucial change in America so that mass casualties such as Sandy Hook and Parkland never happen again.

I wanted to better understand where their thoughts lie in a time where mass shootings have become so common that “tips” and “tricks” on how to survive these situations go viral. I wanted to learn what fears they bring with them to their desks every day and what exactly they believe needs to be done to erase them.

So, I reached out to a few of the student organizers of Chicago’s March For Our Lives, and listened. I listened and learned what inspires them, what hopes and concerns they have, and what pushes them to keep, literally and figuratively, marching on and standing up for what they believe in.

“I’m motivated by the fact that gun violence in Chicago and across the nation is the status quo. That shouldn’t be the way it is, and that’s how it is,” Jeremy Liskar, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, said.

Growing up in Detroit and coming from a place where my biggest worries in my middle and high school classrooms ranged somewhere between figuring out what was for lunch that day, and how I was going to ace my Spanish test, I wanted to hear their stories and at least try to comprehend what’s going on in their minds during a time where losing classmates, friends, and family members to gun violence is tragically becoming the norm.

“I saw a tweet the other day where a parent was talking about how his 6-year-old daughter was crying because she has light-up shoes and she said ‘Dad, if there was a shooter in the school, they would be able to see me because of my shoes,’” Sabrina Bitre, a senior at Hoffman Estates High School, said. “It broke my heart that this is the generation we’re growing.”

Isn’t the point of having light-up shoes to make a statement and stand out from all the rest? Not anymore. Not when they increase your chances of being the target for a 19-year-old active shooter who purchased an AR-15 legally. Not here in today’s America.

“The one word that I thought was, ‘again,’” Lauren Flowers a senior at Oak Park and River Forest High School said upon hearing the news that 17 people lost their lives in a mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL on February 14th. “This has happened, again?”

According to a recent report by CNN, there have been at least 12 school shootings in the year 2018 already. It’s only March… that’s an average of four per month. Another report by Chicago’s ABC 7 News states that there have been 344 shooting victims in the city of Chicago alone this year… that’s over three people per day injured by guns.

“I think of people I see in the hallway, I think of my friends, I think of my teachers, and there’s just a pit in my stomach that somebody can be here one moment, and not be there the next. That’s not supposed to be the case when you’re at school. You’re supposed to be protected, you’re supposed to be there to get an education, and the only thing you should have to worry about is getting an education,” Bitre said.

Although some of these organizers aren’t even old enough to vote, their intellect stretches far beyond their years, and their concerns regarding gun violence stem from other societal problems. They hope this movement also sheds light and creates conversation on other issues including intersectionality, poverty, and lack of funding for education, which in turn will decrease gun violence not just in schools, but on the streets as well.

“We have to realize that this doesn’t just happen in affluent white communities. This has been happening in inner cities and marginalized groups since the beginning of time, and they’ve been taking to the streets but have been shut down by the government and the media,” Bitre said. “I feel like this march is so important because we’re taking that platform that those Parkland students created and saying, ‘Let’s also not forget about these people.’ Being the voice of the people that people don’t listen to.”

According to a Mother Jones database of U.S. mass shootings since 1982, black males are responsible for 16 percent of mass shootings, which is less than one-third of the 54 percent that are white males, yet America more times than none, portrays people of color in a different light. “I really want us to start treating shooters of every race, the same way. I don’t understand why we put so much blame on people of color. We put so many negative stereotypes on them and we make them out to be monsters, but when a white man shoots up a school, people say they’re mentally ill and we have every reason in the world for why they did what they did,” Flowers said. “I feel like our lives are just not treated the same way, and I really hope that this movement will help people to see that gun violence, no matter where it is, it’s still important. No matter who is affected by it.”

With Chicago having stricter gun laws than other states, Juan Reyes, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, and a member of the Chicago Students Union, which focuses on giving Chicago Public School students a voice on local issues, has hopes this movement will extend beyond issues with the National Rifle Association.

“We want to mimic the [students] in Parkland in terms of how they are pressuring politicians. But we want to pressure them by saying, ‘We want more resources in the city for food and education to improve these impoverished communities,’ instead of just not taking money from the NRA and [issuing] tighter background checks, because that’s not really a problem here. It’s more giving to these underfunded schools, giving more resources to these communities.”

Just a few days after Parkland’s tragedy, President Trump suggested arming teachers, a proposal that according to The Washington Post, would cost anywhere from $251 million to an upward of $1 billion dollars depending on training and firearm costs.

“It’s not a coincidence that the communities most affected by gun violence in the United States are communities that are low income where people are living in poverty and are communities that have the worst education systems in America,” Bitre said. “The levels of resources that are being given to these schools are so poor, and the amount that these teachers are getting paid is so little. I think the millions of dollars that they want to put into a program for teachers to be armed should be going into the schools, because once we start seeing a better education system, the violence will start to deteriorate, little by little.”

With the amount of “thoughts and prayers” spoken outweighing the amount of action being taken to decrease gun violence, these student organizers are looking for bills with new laws to be passed, not tweets with condolences to be sent.

“Thoughts and prayers are fine, if you are [also] actively doing something to eradicate the problem, thoughts and prayers aren’t fine if you’re talking money from the NRA, and just voicing your “thoughts and prayers,” Bitre said.

Our country’s Second Amendment, which many believe solidifies citizens’ rights to own guns including semi-automatic weapons, has been a topic of debate for years, especially regarding the advancement of weapons since the creation of the Bill of Rights.

“The Second Amendment was created when they couldn’t even fathom the type of weapons that we have now,” Bitre said. “Isn’t it my right to live? Isn’t it my right to feel safe at school?”

In a report by The Washington Post, the Second Amendment was first written in 1791, when a standard revolutionary-style musket held just one round, and had an effective rate of fire of three rounds per minute. Today a standard AR-15 can hold 30 rounds and has an effective rate of fire of 45 rounds per minute, not to mention a maximum range of up to 550 feet… 500 feet further than a revolutionary-style musket.

“I hope by the end of this movement, we’re able to look back at the Second Amendment and say, ‘We’ve successfully applied this to the 21st century, and what it should look like in modern times.’” Liskar said. “Because right now I think the interpretation is so outdated.”

Generation Z has banded together and shown us there’s a lot more to them than just the latest social media fad, or coolest fashion trend. From Parkland to Chicago to Los Angeles to Baltimore, students are reaching out for funding, making t-shirts, designing posters, all to help make America safe again.

“It was a kick in the face, the idea that teenagers can’t do anything, that teenagers need adults to get things done, that we’re lazy, and that we don’t care enough about anything to really make progress,” Flowers said. “Just seeing what myself and so many others are capable of is really amazing to me, and it just makes me so happy.”

From the nationwide student walkout that took place on March 14th, to marches to sit-ins to rallies, all organized for the upcoming weeks, America’s youth shows no signs of backing down when it comes to the demand for change in our country.

“I’m really proud that this event has been able to sustain beyond the typical press cycle, and that people aren’t just saying, ‘Okay, we’re ready for gun reform,’” Liskar said. “No. We’re demanding gun reform. We’re going to march on the 24th, and there’s another walkout on April 20th. This isn’t going away.”

March For Our Lives Chicago is set to take place on March 24th at Union Park at 11:00am. For more information on where March For Our Lives is happening in your city, visit their website.

[foursprout-blog]

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/this-isnt-going-away-generation-zs-demand-for-change/

‘This Isn’t Going Away’: Generation Z’s Demand For Change

Lorie Shaull/Wikimedia Commons

“How To: Survive A Mass Shooting,” was the first thing I read when I opened my computer’s browser this morning. My heart sank into my stomach when I finally wrapped my head around what I had just read.

Like many of you, I’m inspired by America’s youth, or should I say Generation Z, and the action they’ve taken in recent weeks by marching, campaigning, and petitioning for a crucial change in America so that mass casualties such as Sandy Hook and Parkland never happen again.

I wanted to better understand where their thoughts lie in a time where mass shootings have become so common that “tips” and “tricks” on how to survive these situations go viral. I wanted to learn what fears they bring with them to their desks every day and what exactly they believe needs to be done to erase them.

So, I reached out to a few of the student organizers of Chicago’s March For Our Lives, and listened. I listened and learned what inspires them, what hopes and concerns they have, and what pushes them to keep, literally and figuratively, marching on and standing up for what they believe in.

“I’m motivated by the fact that gun violence in Chicago and across the nation is the status quo. That shouldn’t be the way it is, and that’s how it is,” Jeremy Liskar, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, said.

Growing up in Detroit and coming from a place where my biggest worries in my middle and high school classrooms ranged somewhere between figuring out what was for lunch that day, and how I was going to ace my Spanish test, I wanted to hear their stories and at least try to comprehend what’s going on in their minds during a time where losing classmates, friends, and family members to gun violence is tragically becoming the norm.

“I saw a tweet the other day where a parent was talking about how his 6-year-old daughter was crying because she has light-up shoes and she said ‘Dad, if there was a shooter in the school, they would be able to see me because of my shoes,’” Sabrina Bitre, a senior at Hoffman Estates High School, said. “It broke my heart that this is the generation we’re growing.”

Isn’t the point of having light-up shoes to make a statement and stand out from all the rest? Not anymore. Not when they increase your chances of being the target for a 19-year-old active shooter who purchased an AR-15 legally. Not here in today’s America.

“The one word that I thought was, ‘again,’” Lauren Flowers a senior at Oak Park and River Forest High School said upon hearing the news that 17 people lost their lives in a mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, FL on February 14th. “This has happened, again?”

According to a recent report by CNN, there have been at least 12 school shootings in the year 2018 already. It’s only March… that’s an average of four per month. Another report by Chicago’s ABC 7 News states that there have been 344 shooting victims in the city of Chicago alone this year… that’s over three people per day injured by guns.

“I think of people I see in the hallway, I think of my friends, I think of my teachers, and there’s just a pit in my stomach that somebody can be here one moment, and not be there the next. That’s not supposed to be the case when you’re at school. You’re supposed to be protected, you’re supposed to be there to get an education, and the only thing you should have to worry about is getting an education,” Bitre said.

Although some of these organizers aren’t even old enough to vote, their intellect stretches far beyond their years, and their concerns regarding gun violence stem from other societal problems. They hope this movement also sheds light and creates conversation on other issues including intersectionality, poverty, and lack of funding for education, which in turn will decrease gun violence not just in schools, but on the streets as well.

“We have to realize that this doesn’t just happen in affluent white communities. This has been happening in inner cities and marginalized groups since the beginning of time, and they’ve been taking to the streets but have been shut down by the government and the media,” Bitre said. “I feel like this march is so important because we’re taking that platform that those Parkland students created and saying, ‘Let’s also not forget about these people.’ Being the voice of the people that people don’t listen to.”

According to a Mother Jones database of U.S. mass shootings since 1982, black males are responsible for 16 percent of mass shootings, which is less than one-third of the 54 percent that are white males, yet America more times than none, portrays people of color in a different light. “I really want us to start treating shooters of every race, the same way. I don’t understand why we put so much blame on people of color. We put so many negative stereotypes on them and we make them out to be monsters, but when a white man shoots up a school, people say they’re mentally ill and we have every reason in the world for why they did what they did,” Flowers said. “I feel like our lives are just not treated the same way, and I really hope that this movement will help people to see that gun violence, no matter where it is, it’s still important. No matter who is affected by it.”

With Chicago having stricter gun laws than other states, Juan Reyes, a senior at Whitney M. Young Magnet High School, and a member of the Chicago Students Union, which focuses on giving Chicago Public School students a voice on local issues, has hopes this movement will extend beyond issues with the National Rifle Association.

“We want to mimic the [students] in Parkland in terms of how they are pressuring politicians. But we want to pressure them by saying, ‘We want more resources in the city for food and education to improve these impoverished communities,’ instead of just not taking money from the NRA and [issuing] tighter background checks, because that’s not really a problem here. It’s more giving to these underfunded schools, giving more resources to these communities.”

Just a few days after Parkland’s tragedy, President Trump suggested arming teachers, a proposal that according to The Washington Post, would cost anywhere from $251 million to an upward of $1 billion dollars depending on training and firearm costs.

“It’s not a coincidence that the communities most affected by gun violence in the United States are communities that are low income where people are living in poverty and are communities that have the worst education systems in America,” Bitre said. “The levels of resources that are being given to these schools are so poor, and the amount that these teachers are getting paid is so little. I think the millions of dollars that they want to put into a program for teachers to be armed should be going into the schools, because once we start seeing a better education system, the violence will start to deteriorate, little by little.”

With the amount of “thoughts and prayers” spoken outweighing the amount of action being taken to decrease gun violence, these student organizers are looking for bills with new laws to be passed, not tweets with condolences to be sent.

“Thoughts and prayers are fine, if you are [also] actively doing something to eradicate the problem, thoughts and prayers aren’t fine if you’re talking money from the NRA, and just voicing your “thoughts and prayers,” Bitre said.

Our country’s Second Amendment, which many believe solidifies citizens’ rights to own guns including semi-automatic weapons, has been a topic of debate for years, especially regarding the advancement of weapons since the creation of the Bill of Rights.

“The Second Amendment was created when they couldn’t even fathom the type of weapons that we have now,” Bitre said. “Isn’t it my right to live? Isn’t it my right to feel safe at school?”

In a report by The Washington Post, the Second Amendment was first written in 1791, when a standard revolutionary-style musket held just one round, and had an effective rate of fire of three rounds per minute. Today a standard AR-15 can hold 30 rounds and has an effective rate of fire of 45 rounds per minute, not to mention a maximum range of up to 550 feet… 500 feet further than a revolutionary-style musket.

“I hope by the end of this movement, we’re able to look back at the Second Amendment and say, ‘We’ve successfully applied this to the 21st century, and what it should look like in modern times.’” Liskar said. “Because right now I think the interpretation is so outdated.”

Generation Z has banded together and shown us there’s a lot more to them than just the latest social media fad, or coolest fashion trend. From Parkland to Chicago to Los Angeles to Baltimore, students are reaching out for funding, making t-shirts, designing posters, all to help make America safe again.

“It was a kick in the face, the idea that teenagers can’t do anything, that teenagers need adults to get things done, that we’re lazy, and that we don’t care enough about anything to really make progress,” Flowers said. “Just seeing what myself and so many others are capable of is really amazing to me, and it just makes me so happy.”

From the nationwide student walkout that took place on March 14th, to marches to sit-ins to rallies, all organized for the upcoming weeks, America’s youth shows no signs of backing down when it comes to the demand for change in our country.

“I’m really proud that this event has been able to sustain beyond the typical press cycle, and that people aren’t just saying, ‘Okay, we’re ready for gun reform,’” Liskar said. “No. We’re demanding gun reform. We’re going to march on the 24th, and there’s another walkout on April 20th. This isn’t going away.”

March For Our Lives Chicago is set to take place on March 24th at Union Park at 11:00am. For more information on where March For Our Lives is happening in your city, visit their website.