#(possibly bc i started way earlier than healthy

[yangsharperavery]

There was a tweet earlier this week where someone said they believe in Sydcarmy but think the clear arc is Carmy falling in love with Syd while she falls out of love with him and alluded to an ending from them like Normal People. I love Syd x Carm and want them to get a happy ending but part of me def sees this is as a possible ending for them. Would love your thoughts on this since you have such a great insight into the characters and their dynamic. Have a great day!!

hmm, this is interesting! i had to ponder it for a day to figure out where i stood.

i definitely think that ultimately carmy will have a more hopeful ending than his brother. but that doesn’t necessarily mean a happy ending with a highly successful restaurant and in a functioning, healthy relationship with the woman he loves.

i think that if carmy doesn’t start making and taking real strides to correct some of his behavior and his inner self sabotage and emotional mismanagement, sydney would absolutely get to a point where she’d walk again. i am also generally a proponent for angst bc it’s very realistic, especially in a show like this one.

i don’t know if storer/callo want to write that all in the overt vein of them being clearly in love and devoted to each other.

i could see undercurrents of it tho.

but carmy seems really adamant about not ever getting to that point that he did in the first season that prompted her walking out. like, he has enormous self awareness surrounding it.

i see her walking from the restaurant more than i see her walking from him though… relationally, oddly enough. i always felt like her vision would extend past his family’s restaurant.

but i also think the way that the last season ended clearly sets up for sydney to be the head of the restaurant (and largely the narrative.)

so really idk. i don’t know if they’re going to write their love story that on the nose if they choose to at all. i also think that if they fall in love, she won’t fall out of it. she’ll just make a choice that’s better for her life and her heart and her career than he has the capacity to be or provide. if it comes to that.

on the other hand, carmy’s gonna get a win at some point. maybe even more than one.

does carmy get a narrative similar to richie’s last season? does carmy ever get an earned in, fought for moment of growth and contentedness and victory? yes, right? because he’s not gonna just spiral in despair for the entire run of the show. whether another season or 3.

but it’s crazy to think about how the story narratively literally starts the day of her arrival so it ending with her departure isn’t really that far fetched at all.

[yourbuerokrat2]

havent stopped thinking about q's biggest relationship problem being strafleet/people who care about picard. like on one hand its gotta be frustrating for q but worse for picard bc these are the people he trusts and sure picard is usually sure of his choices and sticks to his guns but people whos opinion you value doubting you and being concerned has got to take its toll. and that would def cause friction in their relationship w/ q's only option would really be to make nice w picards friends and that would just be. a disaster. but it would also be really funny and kinda like a scott pilgrim situation where instead of battling exes hes gotta prove he has good intentions. first opponent starfleet, then picards main crew, and finally guinan.

I think if Picard started something with Q after ST:TNG the reactions would not be that negative or sceptical because there is evidence that Q actually cares about Picard (saved his life twice) and that he also lends a helping hand in The Trial.

But anything before Tapestry? Especially after Amanda, where the TNG crew has become aware that Qs can cause someone to become attractad/fall in love with them and that apparently to Q it was not much of a big deal? After all, Data could point out in his usual neutral way, all Q would have to do is increase a few of Picards hormones when he is around like testosterone, dopamine, norepinephrine, serotonin, oxytocin and vasopressin. Something everyone who is aware of what Q is would be done with a snap of his fingers.

And even though this is an interesting dark scenario, I don't see Q doing something like this.

But can you blame others thinking that Q might do that?

So, this is something I like thinking about as well, so there is quite a rant:

Imagine you are a higher up in Starfleet, more of a pencil-pusher but you are stil respected and have a good amount of power. And then you hear the rumors. That the entity known as Q, the one whose file you have only briefly read through on one occassion after you had been informed about The Trial Humanity was seemingly put on by the Q Continuum. And let's be honest, especially on paper reading that someone who could possibly be put on death-row has started a relationship, and a romantic one at that, with the very Judge of the Trial and on whose opinion not only that persons but also most everyone that person values life depends on, doesn't sound exactly healthy, does it? Add to that Q being the one who introduced the Enterprise to the Borg (and I highly doubt a lot of people agree that Q had wanted to 'help' them in some way and there is also the bad sidetaste that Q throwing the Enterprise at the Borg and then snapping them back was what had caused the Borg Collective to get interested in Picard and you can't deny that (whatever his intentions may have been) Q is at least partially responsible for Locutus), reading a file about how Q had put some of Picards crew in a game with Death Penalty Boxes... and you get what I am saying.

Janeway and Sisko are well.. Janeway and Sisko. But I can actually see some in Starfleet recognizing and treating Q for the very real threat that he is especially if they never met Q and have a lot more safer jobs/positions.

Add to that having actually met Captain Jean-Luc Picard a few times via video meetings or in personal. A bit awkward if you try to make small talk and talk about personal lifes but generally very professional, has a bit of a proverbial stick up his arse and not exactly someone you can even imagine would so much as willingly be in the same room as someone who could very much consider blowing up a solar system as something fun.

With the crew, there would be a bit of a nuance considering most of them actually met Q. Again, the earlier in TNG the more questionable this relationship looks.

Riker: Riker at one point seemed more amused by Qs presence than anything. But then again, he was the one who had suddenly fallen in love/become attracted to Amanda not entirely out of his own accord, which would make him at least just a tad bit suspicious of the Captain telling him about having started something with Q. Also Riker is a bit of a mother hen when it comes to Picard and with Q he can't do anything to help his captain if something goes wrong. Q decides he wants to kidnapp Picard to somewhere more 'fun' or just doesn't want to 'share' Picard with his crew anymore? Well, the Captain is now gone and the Enterprise will never be able to contact him or find him again. Remember the Shuttle Craft scene?

Worf: Worf hates Q. Q in Worfs eyes is incredibly dishonourable and if it's after Deja Q in Worfs opinion they should have killed him when they had the chance. He would totally belief that Q brain/hormonedwashed or in some other form manipulated the Captain into this. Whatever Qs intentions with the Captain are Worf doesn't think they are good. Probably something despicable.

Beverly: Own personal, difficult feelings aside, when she pictures Jean-Luc with anyone besides herself it's usually someone.. a lot nicer. And kinder. less of a nuissance and a potential threat. And someone who would not have turned her into a dog. Her opinion of Q is not as bad as Worfs, but she probably doesn't see Q as someone capable of wanting a serious romantic relationship and uses her close friend more as a distraction/toy than anything. In her mind, Q is probably one hell of a selfish partner and considering her differences with Q because of Amanda probably would think that Q did at least something to the Captain.

Geordi: Well, Q did not exactly do a great impression on him the time he was a human, but Geordi has made friends with people he had been told were evil and his enemy. And he finds it somehow difficult to believe that someone who gave Data the ability to laugh is truelly evil. But he can't disagree that the Captains, to them, sudden feelings for Q are suspicious and that he thought that Captain Picard would ever go for someone who like Q personality wise. And godlike-entity-who-could-destroy-their-warp-core-with-a-snap-of-his-finger-wise.

Data: Data is more fascinated by this, not really understanding due to to the vast differences in species and previous recorded and documented meetings between Picard and Q he had made the conclusion that Q must at must be as fond of the Captain as one would be of a pet at most. So this was a rather interesting development. He trusts the Captain but Data is also aware of the possiblities Qs power might bring. Nevertheless (provided this is after Deja Q) from his own previous interactions with Q he can't see the entity actually do something bad or badly intentioned regarding them or their Captain.

Deanna: Hard to tell. If it's after Déja Q she had felt Qs emotions that time on the Bridge. And besides the terror she had felt quite a few different emotions coming the entity and so she could be very much aware of Qs 'interest' in the Captain. Wether she thinks that Q would have bad intentions (or perhaps better to say good intentions that due to the incredibly different nature of beings between Q and Picard could result into bad actions) or if he would go as far as manipulating Picards biology is debatable.

Guinan: She and Q must have had beef. And if you remember how Q was in the beginning of TNG and how careless he treated other peoples lifes, again the game and turned Tasha into ice and generally didn't seem to care about anything I can see a Q before Star Trek acting quite.. unfavourably towards other species. We never find out why Q2 complains how he regularly has to apologize because of things Q did and what Q did to the Calamarians. Her overall opinion of Q is pretty low. And she cares about Picard a lot.

Would you want your best friend to be with someone who you have heard and have seen treat others like toys and who seems indifferent at best towards the pain and suffering of others? To be in a relationship where the power dynamic is so utterly in the favour of someone you think to be quite dangerous and untrustworthy?

[shmowder]

Picture a deer in headlights, but like, in a good way and that's me rn, because I can't for the life of me come up with anything that can possibly do justice to your previous response!! I did enjoy reading it and I love that you typed it all out - you definitely have a gift for character analysis and articulating your thoughts <3

And Taya is so adorable oml

When you do Clara's route I'll be curious how you feel about her - I vaguely remember disliking her in P2 🤔

I can be 🐿️ anon if that's okay! I go by that on another blog ^^

It's funny you should mention Stardew Valley earlier because I started a new farm yesterday (a couple years ago I got to year 3 then stopped, but I wanted to give it another go after the recent update), and I feel like at some point I will end up the way you described yourself playing P2, haha. For a "casual" game it sure can get overwhelming if you let it! There's so much to keep track of.

As far as requests go, are you okay with the more general headcanon requests or is it difficult/annoying to not have a specific scenario to work with?

I'm so happy you liked my long response <3 Your praise means a lot thank you! I do enjoy character analysis.

After P2 and P1 Haruspex's route Clara, I adore her so much. She acts like a shitty teen bc she is one and that's peak healthy development! Teens are supposed to be disrespectful and challenging to authority! Good on her for having a god complex too she deserves rolling her eyes at both Artemy and Daniil, saying how they are fools who will never understand what's really happening.

In P2, she has a much better life than in P1. The game is cruel to her there, and it really feels like she is just a kid out on her own luck more often than not.

You made it to year 3 in stardew?? omfg, I can never make it past year 1/1.5 It really can get overwhelming, and I had to cheat with mods a lot just to balance everything. I never had enough money for anything, I would get greedy in caves and pass out a lot, I chickened out of doing that desert much harder cave after the first 5 levels. God, you're amazing.

Yeah, I'm completely fine with vague requests without a plot. If anything, they're much easier to do than usual specific requests since I get more freedom and can shape it however I want. Platonic, romantic, enemies, I'm good with anything! If you're unsure about a request, the best way to go about it is to just send it. I never block people for requests even if they break my rules, and if I don't like something I'll just not answer it.

As for annoying/difficult ones. Honestly, it's my own original ideas and writing that I find the most difficult to do, yet I still do them. I enjoy writing even when it's hard, and I genuinely have fun doing requests, so please never worry about being too much. I do this out of love for the craft and for fun!

[sky-bee42]

so i'm demiromantic. so i don't really experience romantic attraction to ppl. and ive literally never had a crush before n bc i didn't know what it felt like to have a crush i used to confuse platonic and romantic attractoin a lot,, so ppl i really trusted i would look at like "do i wanna date that person?" and the answer was no.

all this to say I have a crush and I feel like i'm actually losing my fucking mind. i think about him more than can possibly be healthy, sometimes if i think abt him for a little too long it feels like my brain is melting,, he basically came out to me yesterday as trans (i already knew bc im good at clocking other trans masc ppl) and i am still squealing every time i think of the way he pulled me aside to ask if i was trans (i have a flag tied to my bag) n i was like "yea" and he was like "cool me too" i can't stop thinking abt it n also right before that interaction i mentioned how i didn't bring my water bottle bc i didn't think i'd need it and he immediately was like "do you need water????" but i was on my way out to go back to my dorm anyway so i was like "no non o no i'm good don't worry" I feel like I'm going fucking insane there was like a solid week or two earlier this term where i would start humming songs abt stalkers to myself bc it felt so creepy that i was thinking abt him so much..

demiro guy experiences romantic attractoin for the first time, thinks he's going insane :) that's it that's my life rn

[padfootastic]

harry started smoking shortly after the events of the secret camera, he probably found the cigarettes in Uncle Vernon's things . He probably doesn't tell anyone, at first there were just a few but those of thinking that his father's "assassin" is trying to kill him,the tasks in goblet of fire, Cedric's death, the almost death of sirius here sirius is alive so after all this, it became a habit that not even sirius remus anyone in the order knows i can only imagine them discovering molly surtan...

did this get cut off towards the end? 👀

regardless, i love this sm!!! harry being full of rage and conflicted feelings, not knowing/being taught how to deal w them. he finds a cig and tries it just for the heck of it (can’t get any worse right?) and lo and behold, things don’t suck as much for a few minutes. he can peacefully float away from all his troubles if only for a small amount of time (genuinely this line of thinking leads me to more substance use hcs like harry’s had the most terrible life and it lends itself very much to those) and over the summer he gets used to those. takes a few packs to hogwarts w him, sneaks off for a smoke every now and then when things get too much, tries to hard it from the people around him.

and like, the thing with cigarettes is that they’re such a slippery slope lol so i can totally see him going for riskier and riskier smoke breaks until he’s finally caught one time. maybe at grimmauld place where there’s only so many places u can hide?

molly will definitely lose her shit, like no question. she’ll be the kind who’ll assume unwanted responsibility and berate him without giving him space to breathe imo (ik she’s much softer when it comes to harry, but i can def see her w the potential to do this). remus would probably pull another ‘your parents didn’t sacrifice their lives for u to kill urself this way harry >:(‘. arthur would bumble around a disappointed, well meaning, but ultimately useless ‘this isn’t the solution’.

sirius, though. here’s my bias coming in. i think he’d be the best equipped to deal with that bc i hc him smoking from a young age as well, for similar reasons. so he gets it, unlike literally everyone else, but most importantly he gives harry the space to talk about it. he’ll be interested in knowing what happened, why he feels the need to rely on cigarettes, and then gently GENTLY help harry come to terms with the fact that his grief is valid without having to resort to damaging substances AND help him find new coping mechanisms. generational healing and unlearning harmful things ftw amirite?

(alternatively, im also just here for a harry who started smoking super young and never stopped ngl)

[yearnlark]

.

[alltheworldsinmyhead]

ON FEYSAND’S PLOTLINE IN ACOSF

              !!!!MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE WHOLE ACOSF!!!!

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Let’s be honest for a while, okay?

ACOCF had potential to be SJM’s best book, if not for any other reason then because of the sheer idea of it. Coming-of-age, healing story of the most complex and polarizing character she has ever created set in the time of peace, away from the familiar setting (according to the later changed concept which still remains in the snippet at the end of ACOFAS), development of her arguably most feisty and angsty love story... It could be her absolute trumph. Even with the change to stick to Velaris instead of exploring the Illyrian culture of the Mountains and with the added conflict of the Mortal Queens and Koshei, it still could work quite well. 

It didn’t. For many, many reasons, but the most important one, in my opinion, being the feysand pregnancy plot. 

Nothing about this plotline made sense. Not a single thing. From start to finish, it was an absolute disaster from the character-writing POV, from the narration POV, from every single context of it. It broke the rules of real-life logic, it broke the rules of this fantasy world setting and it completely exposed that Rhysand, while not a bad guy, is a pretty terrible partner, even worse ruler and an absolutely terrible contender for the High King title. 

Let’s break this whole mess down (and expect this post to be mammoth-sized. it’s not my fault, though, write to SJM if you have any complains):

1) Feyre, 21, decides to get pregnant, even though less than a year earlier, she expresses the delight with not being forced to bear children to her new mate and told him herself she wants to wait a while and enjoy her life with him. Feyre decides she wants a baby though and Rhysand goes along with it, even though he is aware how young Feyre is and how hard her life has been up until this point. He wants a baby too much to have an honest discussion with Feyre about it, to stop and wonder what is the reason for her sudden change of heart, to reassure her that they have a lot of time ahead of them and don’t need to rush. No. She mades a sudden decision to have a baby after A YEAR OF MARRIAGE and not much more of being turned fae, JUST AFTER having her whole world put upside down, having received a completely new title and responsibilities, surviving the wat and being mated. Great. 

2) Feyre decides to get pregnant and Rhys goes along with it less than a year after the end of the bloody war. It is politically a delicate time, everyone is still not sure how the balance will shift, some countries don;t want to sign the peace treaty, etc. There are a lot of enemies and a lot of turmoil remaining. But sure. Let’s have a baby. Perfect time to add yet another target, another weakness that can be use by the Mortal Queens, Beron or whatever else with malicious intent towards the Night Court. 

2) Feyre gets pregnant after approximately a year of trying. I know healthy people of reproductive age for whom it takes ages more than this. Fae’s pregnancies are rare af and precious and happen once in a blue moon, but ofc SJM broke the world’s rules for her darling Feyre. And again, for Kallas and Vivianne who are also expecting the baby, even though it has been a maximum of 3 years since they’ve mated. 3 years is also not a particularly long time to try to have a baby for those who have issues with their reproductive systems like Fae women. Thank you, next. 

3) Rhys has unprotected sex with Feyre in her Illyrian form when she conceives, even though he knows full well having a winged baby would kill her. He does it anyway, for shits and giggles apparently. They probably have sex in the sky above Velaris, for all we know. 

4) The baby has wings. Now, the whole explanation with Illyrian wings being bony (bc they resemble bat wings) and Seraphin ones being more flexible (bc they resemble bird ones) is so insanely stupid that it takes around 3 seconds to wikipedia this shit and find out it’s exactly the opposite. But okay, the baby has wings and Feyre will die while giving birth, along with the baby. Madja forbids Feyre from turning into an Illyrian to carry the pregnancy because it MIGHT hurt the baby. Now, remember, Feyre conceived while in Illyrian form and then turned into High Fae. The baby survived it just fine. The baby MIGHT be hurt by Feyre turning .... but it will FOR SURE die if she stays High Fae and Feyre will too. Idk about you, but I would take the risk of MIGHT instead of FOR SURE. Especially when she is already in labour and dying. Cauldron or Nesta or idk who alters Feyre’s pelvis after the baby is cut out of her for no apparent reason but to allow feysand to make exactly the same mistakes later on. How convinient. And Nesta also alters her own pelvis bc god forbid she won’t be able give Cassian babies like the little useful mate she is now. She should’ve probably done it with Elain too, just in case she decides to fuck Az in the future, because fuck consequences and fuck the stakes in the story that make the readers actually CARE about characters bc they know the author may actually kill them and not save their life every fucking time.  

5) I don’t even want to comment on the fact Rhys hid the true danger of this pregnancy for Feyre and their family went along with it. It is absolutely disgusting. And Nesta telling her and that being condemned as the act of the ultimate cruelty which is a final straw to break her self-loathing back.... is abhorrent. It made my sick, actually, phisically sick. There is no justification for it. No at all. And the fact that they did not even consider abortion sends a message that I really don’t want to think too much about it. Feyre was 2 months along when they learned the baby is winged. 2 months. 8 weeks. It wasn’t a baby yet, let’s be honest. They could’ve at least discussed it. She - oh my god, I cannot believe SJM wrote it this way, I’m gonna be sick. 

6) For the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, they have no plan to really help her. Labour plan? Haven’t heard if it.  They have money and power and access to the healers of the whole land. And did not figure out how to stop her from bleeding out after a fucking C-section. THIS WORLD HAS MAGIC AND THEY COULDN’T STOP HER FROM BLEEDING OUT AFTER A FUCKING C-SECTION. Didn’t even ask Thesan, the High Lord of Healing, to be present. Cassian had guts hanging out of his stomach and survived. Az was fucking slashed apart in Hybern and survived. But yeah, Feyre was on a brink of death after a C-section. Great, Sarah. Keep it up. Let’s force the thought into young girls’ heads that labour is the most lethal thing ever, why not. 

7) Also, for the entirety of Feyre’s pregnancy, Rhys keeps quiet about this idiotic bargain. He, as far as we know, doesn’t make any plans for the moment when him and Feyre and possibly their baby are dead. If they died and baby survived.. who would take care of it? Does Rhys have a conversation with his family about it? NAH. Doesn’t write any sort of plan how to keep the Court going, doesn’t inform even the closest of his co-workers how they should proceed to act after he’s gone and his and Feyre’s power go to god-knows-who. Their deaths would mean a sure chaos for the weakend and fragile Prythian and the Night Court especially and yet nor Rhys nor Feyre make any sort of preparations for it. Rhys doesn’t tell his brothers or Mor or HIS SECOND IN COMMAND they will all soon have to somehow manage without him. He was about to just leave them to their own devices and told them in the last. possible. moment. 

And this man - this man is, according to Amren, the best candidate to handle the whole country? To unite it? This fool who makes idiotic bargains, who thinks first about his cock and his own selfish desires and considers his subjects and his responsibilities as a High Lord last and least important of all? Who has so much trust in his wife, in his High Lady, the mother of his son that he doesn’t tell her she will almost surely die on a birthing bed because it MAY UPSET HER? 

This plotline was the straw that broke my back. ACOTAR, at it’s heart has always been a ya fantasy with added ‘spice’ and I was willing to bend my critical-thinking skills in many cases and forget and forgive many smaller idiotic issues in this series. But this? It is not idiotic. It is massive and stupid to the point when it becomes insulting to the reader. It was a plot straight out of a bad fanfic, not something that should be in a published book written by someone who writes for a living. You could even argue that Twilight has handled this toxic trope better.  I have wasted my money on this book and thinking about it will always be painful for me. So yeah.

ACOSF could be great. Ended up quite pathetic. 

[professor-tammi]

I did it I finished AG :D! maybe now I can have my free time back.....

(general thoughts under cut)

- you should play AG if:

you love dimilix. this is truly just the dimilix route

you want to see what the postgame lions dynamics might look like because AG is basically that

you thought Yuri should’ve interacted more with the Lions (perhaps, in particular, Ashe)

you want Dimitri and Claude to team up

you want more lore details on Faerghus and, in particular, The Dads (other than Gustave)

- you shouldn’t play AG if:

you would really hate to see Edelgard get Kaga’d. unfortunately. that’s a thing.

you want actual answers to the mysteries in 3H, like Patricia

you want a proper, conclusive ending. if you really really care about this then honestly do not play Three Hopes at all. I’m starting to think Koei just can’t write endings

- anyhow I said earlier that Edelgard getting her memory back in Slitherverse was random, but... there’s a quick throwaway line during the battle vs Arvalmenides where he mentions that they’re in a sort of prison for souls or something, and Claude goes “oh is that why Edelgard’s memory is suddenly back”, so I guess they... kind of address it? kind of.

- on Patricia, AG explicitly tells you that she helped incite the Tragedy so she could see Edelgard again, but... that’s about it? we learn nothing concrete about Shez’s mysterious possibly-Patricia mother, either! maybe they’re just leaving it for DLC, but either way I’m... disappointed

- so, the ending cutscene... I’ve seen a lot of anger about how Dimitri just leaves Edelgard there, but uh, I’m not particularly mad about that part? seeing that she’s effectively lost her soul bc of Slither magic, what... is he supposed to do? babysit her? it obviously hurts all the more knowing that his stepsister, who instigated a war that killed thousands, has now been reduced to some mentally-12-year-old Slither puppet; and this is not a Dimitri who’s learned forgiveness, either -- who’s learned to reach out his hand to her, like AM!Dimitri. considering where the characters are at in this ending, I think it makes sense that he just... leaves

funnily enough I think if he had princess carried her outside or something Edelstans would be in even more of an uproar. so no thanks!! the ending cutscene is Fine. we can assume she is either dealt with or helped somehow, it is simply ambiguous how (much like how the other Hopes endings are all also entirely ambiguous up-to-you-what-happened-next deals...)

- also Claude’s extremely unsubtle glare at Rhea is really funny

- Hopes!Dimitri initially came across as late timeskip!Dimitri to me -- he’s quite open about his hatred for the Slithers and his desire for revenge, but he’s never driven utterly mad by it. at first, I thought he was just Houses!Dimitri but magically by the threat of Felix and by the aliveness of Dedue more mentally healthy, buuut I think there’s more to it than this. Hopes has a lot of hints that Dimitri never gets over his suicidal tendencies and self-loathing; he never learns to live for “what he believes in”, as Houses put it. and he, further, never gets to reconcile in any way with Edelgard, whereas Houses!Dimitri at least gets to try, and I think the takeaway from that is that he’s learned to forgive people, which frankly is Very Powerful for his mental health (and yours! and mine! I still haven’t learned this cool life trick though. I’ll get there.)

... so Hopes!Dimitri is just, outwardly more put together, but still a mess on the inside, is what I’m saying here

- anyway I miss Dimitri completely losing it though. I miss it a lot. the Flame Emperor reveal on AM is just so iconic

- overall thoughts on AG: I love the Dimilix content I am HERE for this. AG is a dmlx feast. the actual plot of AG isn’t great imo, and a far cry from the emotional rollercoaster that was AM (AM was so much more cathartic!), but all the little character moments are fantastic and more than make up for it and honestly that’s all I’m really here for at the end of the day, so. thanks for dimilix simulator 2022 koei. I loved it

- I completely forgot to mention this earlier but it seems like a bunch of the unique dialogue in the game -- dinner dialogue, chore dialogue, the dual Musou activation dialogue, and some other random battle dialogue -- changes based on support rank, but only for certain pairs. and I’m not sure there’s a particular pattern to which ones? either way, I noticed Dimitri and Felix have this, as do Yuri and Ashe. judging by what’s in the voice lines section, Dimidue also have changed dialogue... I’ll probably make a list of this stuff at some point because I really enjoy these sorts of little details

(in og houses half of the dimilix content in the game was hidden in little reactive dialogues like these... they were a joy to slowly discover those were truly the days)

- I also kind of want to compile all the Dimilix-related dialogue but um. that’s going to be quite the undertaking

- either way, I will do the AG side-route (killing Byleth) for some more Dimilix content, and then I’ll move on to SB since I am very excited for Monica. I probably need a bit of a break first, though :D/

[myfemininedivine]

hey bestie. Wanna start by saying I can't emphasise enough how much I love your work. Toothpaste diaries is my favourite fexi fanfic of all time. You're a brilliantly talented writer and this is coming from someone who's job is in publishing. You're up ther e with the best writers I've ever had the experience of sampling. The way you write fexi is so genuine, so heartfelt and beautiful . I would honestly write a 1000 word article on how much I love it, but it's the way Fez loves Lexi so much but you still maintain his true goofy and sometimes a bit abrasive way of interacting with her, and you acknowledge Lexis insecurities but they're so heartfelt that it never feels like she can't trust Fez. The way you write how he sees her is so... reassuring? Like you get that she has a few self esteem issues and don't make out like love can magically heal all of that, but as the reader knows how genuinely Fez feels it kind of reassures you without him having to constantly reassure Lexi? Kinda talking out of my ass but hopefully you get what I'm saying. The domesticity of it all as well. They just love each other. It's so magical not in the events of the chapters because they are so domestic. You take their little day to day interactions and turn them into something so beautiful . I wanna say as well that its like a paragon of what a healthy relationship should look like. Anyone who tolerates anything less than how Fez and Lexi treat each other in tpd needs to check themselves and then love themselves fr. Honestly though I just love you. Tysm. Can't wait for the next chap ♥️♥️♥️

Because I may speak too much and I don’t mean to clutter the dash w my too long of a response but I’m grateful in summary of it all.

Thank you so much for this big love letter. It means so much to me I know I say that a lot but it really does mean so much to me.

Like I mean it from like every spec of my body that this really means a lot to me. I’d like to be published someday so I treat my writings of Fexi as practice! For when I feel good enough to seep into an original. and it means a lot to read all you’ve written. TPD really raised me!! And to be part of your favorites is genuinely mind boggling.

It also means so much that you enjoy my version of them on that fic- truly my babies on there. I have a big soft spot for that fic bc it was me grieving their short scenes together 😭 And honestly? I find that’s the fic that brought a lot of comfort to people and I think I keep that fic ongoing for them. I was going to end it a lot earlier on but people kept saying they looked forward to it after work and school and I just wanted to take their minds off of things that clutter.

But in general, I’m so happy you could enjoy the journey with me- toothpaste diaries is like the biggest work I’ve ever done and even though it’s not necessarily storyline driven, I try really hard to string it together so you know it’s the same couple and so that it can feel like a (ta-da) diary!! Lexi and fezco in that story have their flaws but it doesn’t mean they don’t deserve love, I like to think they help each other grow and heal and learn to love themselves. And I try to show that as much as possible- especially after angst chapters.

But final note on that bc it’s always in my head with the “please don’t tolerate anything less”: your flaws deserve love and mercy. Pin this to your wall because kindness to yourself is hard and most settle with what they know. a partner could help guide you to it but self love is the most healing kind. I wish it for everyone. Every day

So sorry for the longest response ever and I don’t mean to come off rude or big in the head it just meant a lot to read this. And I’m always appreciative of time and I know it took some time out of your day to write me this so I wanted to take time off of mine for you to express my thanks and love. So much of it that I could burst it through a phone.

[datleggy]

Totally random thought I had right as I am going to bed but ya know that show "I didn't know I was pregnant"? Buck would be on that show lol the boy is oblivious when it comes to his own body, so like I can perfectly picture him collapsing on the job one day wracked with pain, and then Hen is poking around his stomach where it hurts, her, Buck and Eddie packed into the back of the ambulance as Chim and Bobby drive to the hospital, and she gets out the stethoscope to try and listen for internal bleeding or anything but instead finds an infant heartrate and she's like "Buck, you're pregnant?" And he's like "uh, no? What the hell?" And then his water breaks and he tries to convince hen and Eddie that he had an accident bc even that would be a better alternative to suddenly figuring out he's about to have a baby???? What the fuck???? But Eddie holds his hand all the way through it and by the time they get to the hospital, Buck has a healthy newborn cradled against his chest, Eddie knelt beside him and alternating between kissing buck and the baby on the head, and observing the baby in disbelief. I can also picture Buck like, sobbing his sorry's to Eddie the entire time he's pushing, like "Eddie I swear I had no idea, if I had known, I would have told you!" And Eddie is just reassuring him the entire time like "don't worry about that now, Buck, just concentrate. No one is mad, okay? But you gotta focus on the- on the baby" and buck just sobs and nods and focuses on the delivery again. But for a good while Buck is in denial that any of this is happening and it takes a lot of convincing and encouragement from both hen and Eddie for him to start actively participating in his baby's birth. Anyways, random half asleep thought is finished sorry for the long ask hdshsjjsjdbsjsj

WELL SHIT ok so i actually love that show and i could see buck doing this lmao so i wrote a thing. also ignore all medical inaccuracies, this is my distraction from monday lmao let me have this wildly inept fic pls. 

also just in case, it’s pretty brief, i think, but TW for talk of weight and weight gain

It's nearing the end of their shift now and Buck can almost hear his feet howling at him in pain. Today hadn't even really been all that busy, he thinks, annoyed at his own body's betrayal. He's not even thirty yet, but in the last couple of months he's felt as though he's aged about ten years.

He's put on a few pounds, which isn't too uncommon, sometimes Buck goes through stretches of time where he eats more carbs than he needs and works out less than he'd like and so a little tummy fat is to be expected.

It normally doesn't bother him, except that in the last maybe three months he hasn't felt like exercising much outside of work but he's eaten nearly everything in sight every night. He's up about fifteen pounds, which he wouldn't have even noticed, seeing that he does fluctuate at times anywhere between five to eight pounds over or under what he usually weighs, if it hadn't been for Chimney teasing him about putting down his third Krispy Kreme donut of the day and picking up a barbell earlier this morning.

Chim and Buck poke fun at each other all the time--it's a staple in their friendship and brother ship, in fact--and Buck had flipped him the bird, nothing new there. What had been new was the fact that he'd excused himself to the bathroom right after that and locked himself in a stall and bawled his eyes out as quietly as humanly possible.

Buck grimaces, embarrassed still, by the outburst, even if no one had been there to witness it. He still has no idea what the hell that had been about this morning.

Eddie notices the sour mood and pulls him in close. "Hey, you ok?"

Buck nods. "Yeah, just tired. Ready to go home--shit." Buck feels a shooting pain so intense his knees buckle and Eddie has to hold him upright to keep him from hitting the floor. 

“Woah!” Eddie calls Bobby over, who’s closest, for help, “Buck? Buck, you with me? What’s wrong? What hurts?” 

Buck just shakes his head and grits his teeth, the pain so debilitating he can hardly breathe much less speak. 

The Captain is on his other side in an instant and together Eddie and Bobby help Buck towards the couch, where he collapses in a heap, throwing his head back and letting out an agonized whine. “What’s going on? Did he get hurt during one of the calls?” Bobby asks Eddie, frantic to help put a stop to this. 

Eddie’s helpless, “Bobby I don’t know, one second we were talking about going home and the next he practically fell to the floor in pain.” he turns to face his husband, “Baby, I’m here, look at me, what’s the matter? What hurts?” 

Buck’s face scrunches up and he finally exhales sharply, his grip on the couch cushions loosening, and he opens his eyes, wide like saucers, and says, “What the fuck was that?” 

At this point Hen and Chim, as well as half the crew, have gathered around and Hen is quick to put on her doctors hat and try to sus out the problem. She makes Bobby step aside and Chimney hands her a stethoscope. “Buck, is it your stomach?” she asks, noticing the stiff way he’s holding himself around his midriff. 

“I don’t--kinda? I don’t know. It was just like, this crazy wave of pain, almost like a cramp, but way worse.” he struggles to describe the feeling now that it’s more or less passed for the time being.  

Hen had seen Buck wince when he’d been in the harness on the last call of the day, but he hadn’t said anything and she hadn’t thought too much about it until now. “Did you hurt yourself in the harness earlier? Maybe pulled something when we reeled you back up?” she asks, palpitating his stomach with her fingers, watching him almost retract from her touch. 

“Maybe?” Buck shrugs uncomfortably, wincing when she hits a particularly sore spot. 

Something about this feels familiar and strangely obvious, but Hen doesn’t understand why until she puts her stethoscope up to his belly to check for lack of bowel sounds, indicating maybe some internal bleeding or sorts. 

Hen gasps out loud and sits up like she’s been smacked. 

Eddie frowns. “What? What’s wrong? Is he gonna be ok?” He almost wants to snatch the damn stethoscope out of her ears and check for himself, his eyes darting between Hen and Buck nervously. 

“Buck, you’re pregnant. And in labor, by the sounds of it.” Hen blurts out in disbelief. 

“What.” Buck blinks at her, waiting for the other shoe to drop. This has to be a joke. 

“I heard a heartbeat in there...” Hen informs them, still awed. “Buck, that was a contraction you just experienced.” 

Eddie gapes at Hen and then at Buck. “You’re pregnant?” 

Buck gapes right back at him. “No!” he denies, shaking his head incredulously. “That’s insane, I can’t be pregn--ah--” Buck leans forward in pain as another contraction begins. “Fuck.” 

“Jesus, yeah, no you’re definitely pregnant,” Chim announces, “Your water just broke all over my favorite couch, bud. I’m getting the ambulance ready asap.” he says, before running to do just that, head reeling. He thinks about Maddie and when she gave birth to their daughter and how scared out of his mind he’d been and he sympathizes for Buck and Eddie, who up until now apparently hadn’t even realizes they were expecting... 

Back at the lounge Buck continues to deny any of this is even happening. He whines into Eddie’s chest, “That’s pee, it has to be, because I’m not pregnant. There’s no way.” he lets out a pitiful whimper as another contraction begins and buries his face against his husband to hide the tears springing up in his eyes. 

“Buck, son, we gotta get you to a hospital right now.” Bobby tries, running a soothing hand over the top of his head. 

But Buck shakes his head no, shuddering out a sob. “M’not going.” 

Eddie, overwhelmed, looks to Hen and Bobby for help. 

“Buck, ambulance is ready to go, we need to move unless you wanna have this kid at the firehouse.” Hen grimaces. “I know you’re in pain and I know you’re confused and hurting, but we need to get you into that ambulance and now.” 

Buck cries out when another contraction hits him and Hen gulps. “Your contractions are getting way too close together, we need to move.” she nods at her Captain and Eddie to help get Buck up and together the three of them manage to get Buck onto a gurney and into the waiting ambulance.

Bobby rides up front with Chimney, leaving Hen and Eddie to work in the back with Buck. 

“Buck, you need to start getting ready to push, this baby’s coming.” Hen warns him, but Buck refuses. 

“I can’t.” he sobs. “I didn’t--” he throws his head back, the pain lighting his nerves on fire. “I swear Eddie, I didn’t know. You gotta believe me.”

Eddie takes Bucks hand into his and brings it up to his lips. “I know baby, I know, you don’t have to worry about that. I promise. Nobody is mad at you, ok? I’m not. But right now you need to focus on pushing, you need to listen to Hen, ok? We’re ok, and you’re gonna be ok, but I need you to push, baby. I love you so much, you know that, right?” 

Buck lets Eddie wipe away his tears, leans into the comforting touch, and nods shakily, exhaling. “O-ok, I’m--I’m ready.” 

.

.

.

**************

.

.

.

The baby is so very tiny in Eddie’s arms. 

Olive Buckley-Diaz is born weighing exactly six pounds and two ounces. 

Christopher, who’s curled up against Bucks side on the hospital bed after a very exhausting day, looks up at his Buck, his little brow still knitted in confusion. “So she was a surprise baby? And that’s how come you guys didn’t tell me about her?” 

Buck tries not to laugh. “Yeah bud, it was a huge surprise to us, too.” 

Eddie nods along, smiling fondly down at the bundle he’s holding. Her blotchy red face is slack in sleep and there’s already tufts of brown hair sticking up funnily on her head under her hat. “I still can’t believe you only gained like fifteen pounds during the whole pregnancy.” Eddie chuckles, “Or that you worked through the nine months, God Buck, when I think of the stunts you pulled during calls in the last few months alone I’m--” he shudders. “Actually I’d rather not think about it.” he sighs, “I’m just happy you’re both healthy at the end of the day.” 

Really, it’s a miracle. The doctor had said as much after the delivery. 

“To be fair I never got any of the other symptoms,” Buck shrugs. “I wasn’t nauseous, my feet never swelled, I don’t remember any weird cravings? And you said it yourself, I didn’t really gain all that much weight.” 

Eddie leans down to kiss Buck’s forehead. “You should be on that show.” he grins. 

Buck tilts his head. 

“You know the one, the one Hen made us watch when work was slow that one time. ‘I didn’t know I was pregnant’.” he teases. 

Buck groans. “I regret all the jokes I made at the time. I totally get those people now. Pregnancy is weird.” 

Christopher rests his head more comfortably against Bucks chest and smiles softly. “Yeah, but now our family’s even bigger.” 

.

[adorerdraco]

Distractions and O.W.L.S ✧ Draco x Reader

Summary: You start neglecting yourself and Draco when you begin stressing for O.W.L.S. The studying finally took its toll on you that landed you in the hospital wing but Draco helps you end the night on a good note. 

Warnings and Perks: being stressed, over studying, fainting ! and corniness

Words: 2K (sorry for any mistakes its 3 AM !!!!!)

A/N: omg i am currently working on some requests and on Healing Heart 4, but i’ve had this scenario stuck in my head all night bc i was listening to a slowed down version of stuff we did from UP and so i thought id share it with everyone since i havent posted in like 2 days <3 do not own gif but pretend that you and Dracoooo <3

It was the beginning of June, weeks away from O.W.L.S, which meant weeks away from another ending of a school year at Hogwarts. What bothered you the most wasn’t the fact that you had homework piled up to the ceilings, or that Snape has been snapping at you all week and took away 5 house points from you, or that you were drowning in a sea of textbooks and notes that you kept studying for your upcoming exams; it was the fact that you had barely seen Draco in nearly two weeks. You were so busy with schoolwork and focused on getting outstanding marks, you hadn’t even realized you were neglecting your own boyfriend. 

Of course, the two of you would find each other in the Great Hall during breakfast and you’d give him a quick hello and goodbye kiss faster than he could even register what was happening and by the time he did, you were already out the door and rushing towards your first class. At this point, you were acting like the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland, always frantic and in a rush. Your hair was wild and untamed, you had dark bags under your eyes from the all-nighters you were pulling, your robes and clothes underneath were in disarray and wrinkled.

To make it worse, you never let Draco study with you. He constantly asked and you always gave him the same answer.

“If I study with you, I’ll never get anything done.”

Which was true. He was very distracting with his quiet jokes in the library, or when he would look up at you with his sparkling gray eyes when you would try to ask him a question that just flew from your mind at the sight, or smile at you with a wide toothy grin that lit up the room when you got sidetracked and talked to him, or the way he rested his hand on your thigh when he would sit beside you while you quietly read or wrote but the only thing you could focus on was his fiery touch. Really, it wasn’t him who would distract you; it was you who distracted yourself with him. And that was evident when you tried to remember everything you’ve learned in the past school term and came up blank because for some reason your brain only retained information and memories that contained Draco throughout the past year. 

So you figured a little time away from him wouldn’t hurt. Because if you didn’t pass these O.W.L.S, you felt like everyone would be disappointed in you, especially yourself. So you locked yourself away in your dorm and crammed and jam-packed your brain with information until you eventually passed out hunched over a book with drool blurring the ink on your pages. You avoided the library for studying, knowing Draco would go looking for you or Madam Pince would distract you halfway through your note taking to kick you out for the night.

Mornings always came the same, you waking up randomly over your desk a few minutes before breakfast and changing into a new pair of robes as quickly as you could while trying your best to smooth your hair down with your hands. This morning was different, however. You woke up to one of your roommates shaking you violently while she spoke your name loudly above you, but it sounded distant. You shot up in a hot flash, wiping your mouth of any saliva and groaning when you started to feel the pounding in your head that seemed to shake up your whole brain. “Thank Merlin, you’re awake!” Your roommate exclaimed in relief. “You looked dead, honestly. But class is starting in twenty and you’ve missed breakfast.”

“Twenty?” you frown, letting your swelling head fall into your hands. “I don’t want to deal with Snape right now, I feel awful.”

“I’m going to try to say this as nice as possible,” she sighs, placing a hand on your shoulder, “but it shows.”

“Thanks,” you scowl. You try to get up from your chair but gasp in pain as your muscles cramp at the movement like a rickety old man. 

“Maybe you should go to Madam Pomfrey,” she suggests, trying to help you up but you shoo her. 

“No, I’m fine,” you rush to interject. “I will not be missing Potions, no.”

She gave you a shrug, backing away in defeat as she let you rush to change into new robes and attempt to brush down the matted mess that’s supposed to be your hair but gave up halfway through and threw it into an updo. The headache was not a good combination with the scalp pain from combing out knots. Your roommate waited for you with pitied eyes, following closely behind you as you hurried out of the room and towards the exit. 

You sped walked out with her but didn’t see the mop of platinum blond that was waiting for you outside the entrance of the common room. You had zero awareness of his presence until his hand had reached out to hold onto your wrist, stopping your near sprint towards the class. Your roommate stopped too, eyeing the two of you and the look on the Slytherin’s face before she continued walking. 

“What? Draco, let go,” you move away from him and he quickly drops your arm. “I’m going to be late.”

You began to walk away from him, but he stepped in front of you, stopping you again.

“Why weren’t you at breakfast?”

“I overslept,” you answered gruffly. “Now, move! If I’m late, Snape will have my head on a stick.”

“Y/N, you need to slow down,” he frowns, “all this studying and rushing around everywhere is going to land you in the hospital wing. You look sick already, I’m worried.”

“I’m not sick!” You huff, throwing your head back in irritation. “If you really cared about me, you’d let me go to class instead of insulting me.”

“I’m not insulting you. Am I so terrible to tell you that you look like you’re about to pass out any second?”

“Yes, you are terrible,” you sneer, the pounding in your head was getting stronger each passing second. “Instead of-”

Your train of thought was violently stopped in its angry tracks, you stumble back and begin blinking hard at the spots that quickly started to dot your vision. Your hand instinctively reached out towards Draco, which he grabbed and hurriedly darted forward towards you, gripping onto you before you could meet the ground, your vision going black and your consciousness out the door.

Draco felt himself begin to panic. He promptly began to feel guilty, feeling like it was his fault that you even fainted in the first place because of the argument he had accidentally started.

He gathered you up in his arms, one arm sliding under your knees and the other under your neck as he swiftly picked you up and began his frantic journey towards the hospital wing.

When he got you to Madam Pomfrey, she instructed him to set you down on one of the beds and kicked him out of the room while she started her treatment. His heart was beating so fast, he wanted nothing more than to stay by your side so he halfheartedly threatened her with his father and she ended up letting him stay with a deep sigh while he stood idly by your bed. When Madam Pomfrey was done, she left the two of you alone. Draco wasted no time in sitting at the foot of your bed, his hand finding its way into your cold one that laid limply beside you. He watched your sleeping figure with a relief as he noticed that whatever Pomfrey gave you had speedily began to affect you. Your skin no longer looked ghastly and dull, but healthy again and tinged with pink. The dark circles underneath your eyes had faded just a little bit, leaving only slight bags as you finally slept. 

He waited maybe 12 hours for you to wake up. After missing his first class, he had decided to go to the rest of his classes as Madam Pomfrey swore to him up and down that you would not wake up any earlier. He begrudgingly obliged and skipped all his meals instead to spend his short free time with you. When his final class ended, he almost ran back to the hospital wing. He occupied the rest of his time with a book he had found thrown somewhere around the room. The book was long forgotten the second he felt your hand twitch and your body begin to stir, your tired e/c’s looking around the room in confusion before landing on him. He scooted himself closer to you, brushing a loose strand of hair out of your face as he looked at you with pure concern. It was the same look he had when he confronted you earlier and with that one look, you were able to recall everything that had happened before your collapse.

“I’m sorry I said you’re terrible,” you croak out sadly, your hand wrapping around his wrist and squeezing it gently.

“I’m sorry I made you faint,” he says. “How are you feeling?”

“That was my own fault,” you chortle, “but I feel really good. I know I fainted and all, but I feel much better with whatever Madam Pomfrey gave me.”

“I can tell,” he smiles, moving himself a little back as you sat up with a newfound strength. “She said you can leave when you wake up.”

“Good, now help me out of this bed.”

Draco took your hand and you hopped out of bed excitedly, turning towards him and giving him a tight hug that he returned twice as hard.

“If you’re not too tired, can I show you something?” He asks from above you, his arms still wrapped strongly around you.

“Yes, please,” you answer with a nod against his chest.

Draco steps away from you before taking your hand and walking the two of you out of the hospital wing and towards the stairs that led to the astronomy tower. When you reached the top, huffing, and puffing, he asked you again if you were okay to which you answered with an eager nod.

"Tonight is a blood moon,” he smiles, pointing up towards the very large orange and reddish moon in the starry night sky. It shone brightly but still gave off little light in its wake, the astronomy tower was almost dark, but you still managed to see the blond perfectly, he was watching you with a happy and loving glint in his eyes that you were able to notice. “I was planning on asking you to see it with me tonight, but we kind of ended up elsewhere.”

You threw yourself into his arms, your face buried deep in his robes and the heat radiating off his chest warmed you up in the comfiest way.

“You’re the best, Dray,” you mumble into the cloth of his robes, the clothing vibrating underneath you as he chuckled. You pulled away and gazed up at him, smiling when he placed a kiss on your forehead.

The two of you unknowingly began to sway back in forth in each other’s arms, his hands resting on your lower back while yours were looped loosely around the back of his neck.

“You scared me today,” he begins quietly, “and every day since you’ve started your studying.”

“I know,” you frown, “I’m sorry.”

“Promise me you’ll stop overworking yourself,” he says softly. “I know you’re scared you’ll fail, but I promise you won’t. You’re one of the smartest people I know and I know you’ll get outstanding marks on everything.”

“You think so?” you ask hopefully, your eyes trained on the burnt orange moon as you took in his words.

“I know so.”

A few more minutes of silence pass by, your head now leaning against his chest as the two of you still danced silently. And as if he read your mind, Draco began humming a soft and off-pitch rendition of Claire de Lune. You would laugh every time he forgot a note and would go silent for a moment before backtracking and humming it correctly.

You don’t know how long the two of you stayed up there dancing slowly in each other’s arms with Draco trying his best to hum the top classics of the classical’s, his lips finding yours every now and then to kiss you longingly and tenderly, but one thing was for sure; it was bliss. 

Maybe distracting yourself with Draco wasn’t such a bad thing.

[flooffybits]

At Your Corner

Idol: Kim Minji (Dreamcatcher)

Anon: my heart just broke bc i saw a pic of minji smiling but trying to hide her pain when their deja vu win got snatched by the sh*w so may i request a scenario with jiu being sad abt that but since shes in public, she needs to smile for the fans. 8th member reader who doesnt rlly show her emotions notices and just lets her kid side out like suddenly jumping in front of jiu and going "hey im a race car get on!" to make her laugh then fans coo and stuff? sry if this is a mess u can change anything tnx

A/n: this came very recently and i don’t usually work on newer requests but this fit my mood way too much that i couldn’t help BUT write it

☕buy me a coffee☕

Standing at the corner of the room, you survey the scene and watch as your members all look exhausted after everything you’ve been through.

It’s quieter than usual, and while you usually preferred it, you hated this silence.

Once again, you were close to finally obtaining a win for your group, and yet you were just a few points too short when The Show finally released the results. You could feel as your members’ shoulders visibly fell when you were all finally off the stage and from the public eye. You had all worked so hard and believed that this comeback would finally be the one to get you a win.

The first weeks of promotions had made you start to lose hope when you had yet to obtain what your group desired, but your leader remained optimistic through it all, telling you that it wasn’t over and that you still had more chances. Yet in the end, her optimism was snuffed out as she sat by the corner, head in her hands as she struggled to pull herself together for when you all had to leave the venue and face your fans.

To make matters worse, Handong was leaving for China in a few days.

With a shaky breath, you turned away and shrugged off your stage outfit, replacing it with the shirt you previously wore, tossing on your hoodie and cap when you were done before heading out of the room, one of your managers quickly following after you as Bora’s frown deepened when she caught a glimpse of your expression.

“Come on, girls. We have to get going soon.” Minji called after she cleaned her face and dusted herself off. She watched as Yoohyeon hurried and quickly left, silently asking your remaining managers where you had gone off to before she went to find you.

With a heavy heart, the girls exited the waiting room and headed for the building exit where you and Yoohyeon were already waiting, the younger girl holding your hand while she kept her head on your shoulder, nuzzling against you for comfort whilst you held her closer to yourself with your own head down.

Minji felt a tug in her heart to see you, but when she tried to reach you, Siyeon tugged at her arm and then shook her head, knowing that there would be no getting to you at this point.

While you rarely expressed yourself, it was easy to tell when you wanted to shut everything and everyone out. You would let the girls come near you, but you wouldn’t say a single thing or react to anything they’ll say except for a nod or a shake of the head in case they ask you something.

“Unnie told me she was with Everglow before Yoohyeon unnie found her.” Gahyeon muttered softly from beside the vocalist. “She said she was trying to make them feel better because of the votes.”

It was a little after you all exited the stage when people began making comments online about miscalculations. As much as it was a possibility, you and your members decided not to look into it just so it wouldn’t further worsen your mood. You were already upset with having lost, it made you feel even worse to know that your dongsaengs were most likely receiving backlash with everything that was happening.

“It’s going to be okay.” Bora murmured, squeezing her friend’s hand as they approached you and the quiet girl. Handong offered you a small smile, but you merely nodded at her before looking to the door, hearing the shouts of fans that were waiting for you.

You lower your cap over your eyes just to avoid making further eye contact with anyone before finally leaving the venue, eyes squinting at the flashing of the cameras. Yoohyeon had let go of you to join Bora and Yubin’s side. Siyeon and Gahyeon stood closely side by side and Minji was clinging to Handong in order to comfort both of them.

And it just hurt so much more to see them forcing smiles on their faces when you knew just how terrible they all felt. You also knew that your own fans felt just as bad, seeing the tears on some of them when the winners were announced.

Right now, you felt stuck because it was usually Gahyeon and Minji who kept bright smiles on their faces. Your members were always eager to interact with fans, just like you, but this whole predicament merely took its toll on all of you.

But you refused to let this night end with them in tears.

Smiling, you waved to your fans and tried to give off the energy your members were lacking despite how it would usually be the other way around. Looking to your managers for permission, they were a little less strict this time around when they knew you just needed some space and allowed you to approach some fans.

Your members were somewhat surprised as you stepped away from them to greet everyone, thanking each of them for coming and supporting you all. Minji could feel her eyes watering at the sight of you trying your absolute best in covering for all of them, even trying to distract fans from noticing their weary state.

“Please be safe when you get home! The others are a little tired so please understand.” You tell them with a meaningful look and you were just grateful to know you had such understanding and thoughtful fans.

Even with the blinding flashes of the camera, you did your best speaking with them until your eyes landed on a few teary eyed Somnias. You felt your throat close up, but you do your best to swallow your emotions before approaching them. “Hey, why are you crying?” You asked and they turn to you with sadness swimming in their glossy eyes.

“We wanted to finally give you all a win, but we couldn’t do it.” One of them answers, your expression softening before you shook your head and opened your arms for them. Giving them both a warm hug, you patted their backs before giving them a small squeeze. “You guys did more than enough. You got us nominated, and that’s a really big thing, so thank you.” You assure them with your best smile,

“We’ll keep working harder, so please don’t be sad.”

Seeing your interaction with the fans pushed tears to Siyeon’s eyes and she had to avert her gaze while Bora wiped at the corner of her own eyes at your selflessness.

It didn’t take long before you came bounding over to your members and you sported a grin as you patted all of them, be it on the arm of back. “Come on, come on! I’m hungry, aren’t you?” You question playfully, earning a giggle from Yubin while Handong reached to pinch your cheeks.

When you turn to your leader, you smile before turning around so your back is facing her then gesture for her to hope onto your back. “Unnie, everyone is slow! Come on, you can get the food faster if you come with me.”

Minji couldn’t help but laugh at your display, her heart warming at your rare carefree personality and knowing that you were doing this for them.

So, without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around your shoulder as you crouched down before allowing you to lift her on her back, laughter bubbling from her lips as you carried her away from the rest of your members while they watched on with smiles on their faces, happy to see your leader a little better compared to earlier.

“Yah! Unnie, be careful!” Gahyeon called out when Minji squealed after you nearly tripped, but you were able to tighten your hold on her legs, securing her on your back before you decided to merely walk instead of run to the van, the older woman’s face tucked comfortably against your neck that you could feel her smiling against your skin.

You didn’t have to go out of your way to check up on her and make her feel better, but she appreciated how you still did so without anyone having to ask you to do it. As quiet as you were, she loved the way you were ready to come to their aid.

“Thank you.” You hear her whisper and you hum while shrugging your shoulders lightly. “It’s nothing, unnie.” Though despite your words, she knows that you were relieved to have her, and the others, smiling as well.

Later that night, there are articles about you and your actions for that day. Pictures of you with fans and Minji, especially, circulate everywhere, but the girls decide that staying off social media would be healthy for them as they happily ate the food that you had asked your managers to bring to the dorm.

“Do you think we should wake her up?” Yubin asked when she glanced to your shared room, but Handong shook her head and smiled after drinking some water. “Jiu unnie did say she’ll take care of Y/n, so we can wait until they’re back.”

“I don’t think I’ve seen Y/n unnie have that much energy.” Yoohyeon commented after chewing her food, Gahyeon nodding in agreement with a tiny smile on her face. “Unnie is honestly so cute. I wanted to cry when she was hugging and comforting Somnias.” The maknae pouted while Bora giggled. “That kid is really unpredicatable sometimes.”

Siyeon scoffed at her claim, chopsticks pointed in the dancer’s direction. “Speak for yourself.” That earned a smack on the arm as Handong burst into laughter, everyone else following after as they exchanged more stories, forgetting about the award show and their previous concnerns.

Meanwhile, Minji looked down at you with a fond smile as you laid on her chest, arms wrapped around her waist as she kept her own around your slightly smaller frame.

As much as she cried earlier, you were able to make her feel better. Even as you slept soundly against her, she would thank you endlessly for being in her life and picking her up whenever she was down.

Somewhere along the way, she realized that some trophy meant nothing compared to the love and support she’s received from the people who surrounded her. While it was nice to have that recognition for the group, she would pick a group that was stable and gave as much as they received any day.

As long as you were among those people, her heart was safe and sound.

[orangepeelsyndrome]

karasuno boys in the morning

DAICHI SAWAMURA ;

wakes up at 6 every morning

steaming hot cup of coffee to get through the day--literally the hottest cup of coffee you've ever seen like hOW do you not burn yourself siR

possibly goes for a run? at least does some sit-ups and push-ups

breakfast is a MUST for this man

takes the train to school and hypes himself up on the way with good music

SUGAWARA KOSHI;

tries to be a morning person--i mean he wants to be SO badly but absolutely cannot get up earlier than 7

does the cutest little yawn + stretch when he finally gets up

will whisper good morning to his plants like the sweet bean he is

breakfast is light but nutritious

i feel like he drinks tea ? but he definitely has a pumpkin spice latte when fall comes around

brings a journal with him on the train to school (he wants to use it to write poetry or short stories but he never knows how to finish them bc he can't find the proper words)

ASAHI AZUMANE ;

jolts himself awake kinda like how you would when your body thinks you're falling

gets up extra early to make a smoothie or acai bowl or some shit

also needs the extra time to do his hair (he definitely messes with it a lot and re-does it until it looks perfect you cannot convince me otherwise)

also his skin care routine is ✨immaculate✨

NISHINOYA YU ;

this is the mf who sets his alarm at 4:30 to finish last nite's homework but sleeps through it. every. single. damn. day.

def scrambles around to get all his shit packed and ready for the day

rolls out of bed with perfect bed head (the smexy kind tho dw) :)

somehow has time to put together a good breakfast

TANAKA RYUNOSUKE ;

also gets up super early to do his homework (like maybe 6) but still manages to either get it completely wrong or doesn't finish

doesn't need coffee (wbk tho) but always steals some if his sister is making it

packs a shit ton of snacks to eat sneakily in class

somehow always forgets something dumb like an eraser or pencils

blasts music on his way to school that everyone can definitely hear (but they're all bops so no one really minds)

ENNOSHITA CHIKARA ;

sets his alarm for 7:00 but doesn't actually get out of bed until like 7:30

why do i feel like he's a morning shower kind of guy

tbh his go-to breakfast is toast but some days he'll spice it up and add some avocados

tbh has a basic morning routine but don't ever let him hear you say that he will get self-conscious (sweet baby boy we love youuu)

sometimes gets up earlier just to re-write his homework if he thinks his writing is messy (it literally never is tho)

KAGEYAMA TOBIO ;

usually will sleep in but now has the habit of getting up early just so he can get to school before hinata

breakfasts are a chaotic mess like he'll just grab whatever junk food he finds first

gotta get that milk tho

one of them boys who rolls out of bed with clear skin and amazing hair without even trying sjdbjfjd how

sometimes has to sprint back home half-way to school because he forgot his whole ass bag

HINATA SHOYO ;

baby crow isn't a morning person in the slightest but needs to beat kageyama so his alarm is literally set for 5 am

meat buns for breakfastttt

will tie his sister's shoes before he leaves and she pats his head afterwards bc they're adorable

hypes himself up in the mirror and when his sister catches him she helps hype him up in the mirror too

will always accidentally put on an item of clothing incorrectly and has to rush to redo it

doesn't have any coffee in the morning bc let's be honest it would ruin his two braincells

it's canon but we all know he speed bikes to school

TSUKISHIMA KEI ;

either gets up at 6 or 20 minutes before school starts

was probably trolling people the nite before and forget to sleep so the eye bags are extreme

no breakfast bc he doesn't have the energy in the morning to function

morning routine is short and simple but i hc that he spends extra long taking care of his teeth or that dental hygiene is weirdly super important for him idk

like the man MUST floss before he leaves for school otherwise all hell breaks loose

YAMAGUCHI TADASHI ;

angel baby is not a morning person sorry

like if it weren't for tsukki sending him wake up texts/calls he would def sleep until noon

and then when he wakes up after the fourth text he always, always calls him to apologize

loves breakfast (i can so see him having a pinterest board of breakfasts he wants to make) but legit never wakes up in time to execute

washes his face in the morning and has the softest towel to dry afterwards

bought a dinosaur toothbrush to impress tsukki (lowkey it did but he'll never admit it) that he uses regularly now

bonus:

SHIMIZU KIYOKO ;

a queeeen with a badass morning routine

wakes up at 5:30 and does yoga while the sun rises

breakfasts are so important and they always turn out amazing somehow (pls teach me your waysss)

puts a lot of effort into her skin and hair routine (but only to keep it healthy and moisturized)

sometimes if she has time i so see her trying out little accessories that look ADORABLE on her but she lowkey would feel self-conscious wearing to school (like noo wear a beret to school plss i beg you)

HITOKA YACHI ;

an angel but not really a morning person

definitely sleeps with a stuffed animal that a close friend gave her

her breakfasts are actually the cutest things you will ever see and they smell amazing

brings a book to read on the train to school because the thought of small talk is terrifying (same lol)

like kiyoko she will also experiment with accessories but quickly gets too shy to wear them out of the house (again imagine yachi with like a pastel headband or scarf plsss im soft)

has started using the scented hand cream she saw kiyoko use and now she's lowkey obsessed with it

[thotantics]

✗ warnings — graphic sexual content, do not read if you’re underage, dirty talk, begging, noona kink bc im still traesh, oral sex (male receiving), gagging, choking, driving under the influence of incredible mind blowing mouth love (seriously ALWAYS DRIVE SAFELY AND OBEY THE RULES OF THE ROAD)

✎ words —   1.6k

[A/N] @ the anon who said they’re always a slut for jungkook when he whines ‘noona’. bitch me too, the fuck

You stir awake with that distinct, groggy, I-just-napped-way-too-long feeling, groaning as your adjust to your surroundings. It’s late. Very, very late. You’re not at your place but instead, at your boyfriend’s and he’s still asleep, curled up behind you. Blearily, you blink over your shoulder at him, the big spoon.

“Jungoo,” You coo, shifting in his vice-like grip until you turn in his arms to face him. “Baby~ we fell asleep.”

He cracks one eye open to see you smiling at him, your fingers pushing his hair away from his forehead, and he nuzzles his face into the crook of your neck, mumbling with a low, half-asleep voice, “Hm, awesome. Lets stay asleep.”

You chuckle, using all your strength to bend your knees, pushing against his thighs and chest until you can untangle yourself from him and stand, despite his muffled, grumbled protests and his hands pawing at you to keep you near.

“Babe, I need to get home, I have work in the morning and so much to finish before I can do that.” You remind him, tapping his phone laying on the coffee table so the lock screen flashes with the time, and you groan, “Baaaabe! Wake up, please. It’s past midnight.”

Jungkook flips from his side to his back at that, stretching his limbs out along the length of the couch, his eyes finally cracking open again to see you rushing around his place to gather your things.

“Ok, ok.” He finally manages to get off the couch with an old-man grunt, stretching his lower back briefly before he snags his car keys, wallet, and phone from the coffee table. “You ready?”

Jungkook helps you take your things out to his car with countless yawns, and eventually you’re on the road headed back to your place, each with a Red Bull in hand.

You’re buzzing from the time wasted asleep on your boyfriend’s couch, but honestly the day you had spent together was worth it, even if you had little sleep tonight and a possible late start in the morning. Jungkook had picked you up for a simple date late that afternoon. You were supposed to hit up a theater that he had been wanting to take you to, and then he was supposed to take you back to your place for dinner, but, somewhere along the way your plans changed. Probably somewhere between you beating Jungkook at a game of air hockey in a nearby arcade and him throwing you up against the wall by the bathrooms and kissing you breathless in retaliation.

Regardless, your date had lasted way too long. You couldn’t be mad about it, not when you had such a good time. And apparently you were exhausted and needed to sleep, anyway. But you could still blame that on Jungkook. He had been the one to suggest you unwind a bit before you head home for dinner by watching Netflix and cuddling on the couch and sharing a bag of popcorn.

It was less than half an hour’s drive on the highway from his place to yours, especially if you were using Jungkook’s Mercedes instead of your old reliable. Your boyfriend had a special playlist for late night drives, because of course he does, and he has music playing softly within two minutes of the drive. You lean back in your seat, legs tucked up against the middle console, and turn to watch him as he sings along, thinking seriously about falling back to sleep.

Jungkook, glancing over when he notices your change of position, reaches across and lays a hand on your lap, palm up, fingers reaching/wiggling until you place your hand in his. The atmosphere is quiet, even with the music and his voice singing softly, the windows cracked to let just a little bit of the cool, night air in. You’re blinking slower and slower as one song fades into the next, and Jungkook glances over at you before he speaks.

“You know, you never paid me back.” He says this matter-of-factly, like you’re supposed to know what exactly he’s referring to, but you frown over at him because you definitely have no idea. “For earlier.” He offers with another quick glance from the road to look at you.

“What do you mean?” You ask, sitting up more in your chair and planting your feet back in the floor.

“How many times did I make you cum on my tongue?” He asks you. “And my fingers at least once, too?” He clicks his tongue, “Ah, it’s a shame our relationship is so one-sided these days.” He sighs, one corner of his mouth lifting in a smile even as he tuts at you.

You laugh at him, slapping his hand on your lap, “Hey, nobody asked you to do all that! You’re that extra all on your own!” You fold your arms defensively across your chest, “Besides, a healthy sex-life doesn’t work on a trading system anyway, Jungkook!”

“How does that saying go? Something about...you mouth my genitals and I’ll mouth yours?”

You bust out laughing, “I think it was more about scratching backs but, point taken.” You say with an eye roll.

You notice right away he’s fumbling with his belt, one handed, a proud smile on his lips and you quickly yell at him, “Ten and two!”

“Then help me out?” He suggests, shifting his tailbone back and spreading his thighs to give you easier access to the front of his jeans.

“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask him.

“C’mon`~” He glances over at you long enough to give you those sweet puppy-dog eyes and you reply with a firm shake of your head. “Noona~” He whines, “You said you would..”

“I will.” You reply, “When you aren’t operating a couple thousand pounds worth of metal going 60mph on an open highway!”

“Noona.” Jungkook emphasizes the endearment, the one he knows makes you weakest for him, “I promise I’ll keep both hands and eyes on the road and all of my mirrors. There’s no other vehicles around, no houses, nobody who could see us or make this drive any less safe.” Then he glances back over at you, pouty lips and big, sparkling eyes and he can’t stop himself from breaking into a wide grin even as he asks you sweetly, “Please~”

Dammit. He’s much too persuasive and you are way too easily persuaded, so you glance briefly around the parameter of the car, don’t notice any other headlights, so you slip out of your seat belt.

“If you thought I owed you, oh my god the sexual debt you’re in after this.” You tell him even as you shift into your seat on your knees.

But Jungkook doesn’t care, he’s absolutely beaming, using one hand to continue fumbling with the button of his jeans but you slap his hand away and do it yourself, reminding him with a quickly muttered, “Ten and two.”

He’s so excited at the prospect, he’s rock solid already when you free him from his jeans. He scoots lower in his seat, adjusting it so you have plenty of room to lean your front half over his lap, his elbow resting on the middle of your back and his hand gripping your hair, pushing your head down on his erection.

“Fuuuck, that’s it.” He groans, gripping the steering wheel with both hands and flexing his hips as your mouth envelopes his cock. “Ah, I love your mouth so much, baby.”

You hum in response, adjusting your position until you’re able to get him farther down your throat but at the exact wrong moment, because he hits a minor bump in the road and suddenly the head of him rams the back of your throat for a second, making you gag noisily on him and pull back, startled and out of breath.

“Sorry,” He mumbles, “I saw it, I couldn’t miss it.” He strokes your hair gently, hips flexing up so his cock head nudges against your lips, “Please, noona...it felt so good. I need to cum, really quickly, ok? Please~ keep going~”

The way he begs is like music to your ears, and you duck back down into his lap, mouth open and tongue out, slurping and swallowing and bobbing around his thick, solid dick. Jungkook’s a moaning mess under you, gripping the steering wheel so tight that his knuckles are white. He’s practically singing your praises as you work him, panting and rolling his hips with every shift of your head back away from him.

“Make me cum,” He grunts, voice low and desperate. You suck him hard, hallowing your cheeks, making obscene slurping noises as your hand reaches forward to massage his balls through the material of his boxers still in the way. Eyes opening, you notice the fabric is wet from drool and precum and you pull back, admiring the red tip of his cock right when he starts to cum.

Jungkook gasps, bucks, shoots you directly in the eye, and then one of his hands forces your head back down onto his spurting cock, finishing with a cry of your name down the back of your throat. With cum in your eye and sputtering out of the corners of your mouth, you choke on him but it doesn’t last long. He releases you with a panted apology, and then a laugh when he sees the way you’re squinting and grimacing as you pull away from his lap and settle back into your seat, fumbling for a napkin or a wet wipe.

Jungkook is still rock hard even as he laughs, sputtering apologies that you know he doesn’t really mean because he’s clearly enjoying himself way too much at your expense. You can’t be mad at him though, at least, not once you manage to get his sperm out of your eye and you can properly see his handsome face beaming back at you from the driver’s seat.

[pateldevs]

Hi! I hope I'm not bothering you, but I love your mood board edits and was wondering if you could explain how you go about making/colouring them? I see lots of places to find gifs but turning them into a set is so hard. Thank you in advance!

hi! first of all thank you so much and second of all it’s not a bother at all! i am happy to give some of my own tips even if my explanation probably isn’t super helpful. i won’t give like a ps tutorial but below the cut (since i included example gifs, it’s VERY long) is my process for my latest jily aesthetic:

i keep track of all my ideas/sets in a spreadsheet (which i won’t show bc there’s a lot of info i’d have to blur/black out) but i always have a list of what scenes i need to gif/what gifs i’m editing and where i’m getting them from. i also include a couple extra ideas in case the gifs i have planned end up being too hard to color or don’t fit in the set. i’ve found it’s best/easiest to start w the list bc there is literally nothing worse than spending hours on a set and then not being able to complete it.

as for actually finding the material, i have a pretty healthy number of scene packs saved in my giffing folder, esp. for things i know i will gif frequently. most of the time i will peruse youtube, vimeo, and instagram for any aesthetic scenes. i also have a lot of gif packs saved specifically for the purpose of making mbs (usually i mix my own gifs w gif packs), if you msg me i’m happy to direct you to some gif packs i use regularly or you can check my #resources tag. a couple tips for finding material: 

always opt for download when possible, i used to screen record and the difference when i switched to downloading was astronomical. (it’s easy to lose quality and esp if you’re on mac, quicktime duplicates frames so either you have to manually delete those extras or you get sort of choppy gifs when you load them into ps.)

always use 1080p or better, 720p will work in a pinch for 268px or 177px gifs since you can make up some of that resolution loss with sharpening, but don’t go any lower than that, just love yourself. 

for pale sets, look for the right colors. i tend to look for scenes w high color contrast especially if it features poc so it’s easier to color without whitewashing, ie if the subject is a person then i look for light colored or blue/green/violet/white backgrounds. it’ll make your life wayyyyy easier. this also means if you’re making a set try to find scenes with already similar lighting bc you won’t have to work so hard to make it look cohesive.

here’s a quick rundown of what i do before coloring:

import all frames and save all the files in a folder together!!

play around with frame delay so all the gifs are moving at about the same speed, usually keep it between 0.03-0.05s

crop and resize gifs (i use 268x145 most of the time)

convert to timeline

when it comes to coloring it can be really hit or miss, i’ve recently gotten back into my groove but i was having sooo much trouble earlier this year. in general, don’t stress yourself out!! sometimes it’s easier to just find a new scene/gif (hence my list of extras!) than to try too hard to fit a gif into your set. i color all my gifs by scratch (ie no psds) but i tend to follow the same pattern, i’ll explain using these gifs/psd as an example since then i can also explain how to fix white-washing:

first off when you’re coloring gifs with poc always always always make a layer mask so you can compare the edited and unedited skin tones directly! i use the marquee tool to make a selection in the middle of the character’s face, select the folder of my adjustment layers, and hit ‘add vector mask’ (the third button from the left on the layers panel, it’s a white rectangle with a circle in it). 

i almost always begin by using hue/saturation layers to highlight and delete certain colors. here i highlighted red and raised the lightness on yellow by a lot since it’s a very yellow scene. then i use a combination of brightness/contrast, levels, and curves layers to brighten the scene. here’s what i have now:

i add a gradient map set to black/white, change the blending to exclusion, and lower the opacity to between 5-10% (depending on the scene) to lighten the contrast further:

then i add back a little depth with selective color in neutrals and blacks:

now i have two main goals: 1. add contrast between the background and the subject, and 2. brighten the scene into a pale gif. to do this, i use color balance to tweak the color of the background, taking out the yellows. this step works best if there’s at least some shade difference between your subject and background, otherwise isolating the two will be impossible. here’s what i have after adding color balance:

i use hue/saturation to selectively highlight the background color. in this case i chose to adjust magenta and used the color picker (the first eyedropper on the left) to identify the exact shade i wanted to lighten. now i have a fairly neutral background and a colorful subject, which gives a sort of pale effect:

and now i use a curves layer and a selective color (white) layer to brighten further:

before i go further, i start fixing white-washing. keep in mind that some variance is normal since you are naturally changing the lighting of the scene; this gif shows it rlly clearly bc of how yellow and dim the lighting is, so some lightening is to be expected. however, both because the vector mask shows a lot of whitening and because i’ve giffed dev patel before and have a general idea of what he looks like in this type of lighting, i know what needs to be fixed, so i go back in under the psd/adjustment layers with a combination of selective color (red and neutral) and hue/saturation layers to darken his skin again:

now that some more contrast has been added in, i can go back to working on the psd and use curves and selective color to play around with the background again:

i use another hue/saturation layer and a black/white gradient to tone down oversaturation:

usually i leave those layers on top, so if i want to make any adjustments (like lightening the background more), i go in under those two. in this case i tweaked the whites and reduced the contrast a little to get this:

again, you can see his skin tone has changed from the original, but variation is to be expected given how much brighter the room is, the fact that i took out a lot of yellow lighting, and the brightening effect of the computer screen in front of him. some other things to keep in mind when coloring:

when you add layers to correct white-washing, you’re likely to end up with overly red/orange skin tones (red-washing). this can be fixed by upping cyans in the reds, desaturating/darkening the reds, or adding b/w or desaturation later on.

when in doubt, it’s better to be darker than lighter (the issue with white-washing is that it promotes colorism, and there is nothing inherently wrong with a darker skin tone) but really. just put in the effort to color poc correctly.

when changing the lighting a lot it helps to look at pictures of the subject in natural/bright lighting, since you get a better idea of what their normal skin tone is. 

don’t try to squeeze all your selective color layers into one. you’ll get less grainy gifs if you separate them out and work one by one. 

TURN OFF NIGHT SHIFT/NIGHT MODE! yes i KNOW it’s bad for your eyes (especially if you’re like me and gif at night, when the lighting outside isn’t changing every 20 seconds) but your gifs will look VERY different under f.lux or night mode compared to daytime screens. especially if you’re giffing at different times of day, blue light filters can really change the way your coloring appears. best to keep it consistent.

my sharpening settings vary depending on what i’m giffing but in general i do two layers of smart sharpen (500% with radius between 0.2-0.4, 10% with radius at 10px) and then gaussian blur at 2.5px and adjust the opacity so it’s somewhere between 15-20%. i try to strike a balance between smoothing out the graininess from selective color, and sharpening details like clothes and hair. here’s what i ended up with for the gif above:

then i rinse and repeat for the rest of the gifs in the set! i tend to start with the gifs that i know will be hardest to color, which is usually the darker ones (coloring is limited by how much i can brighten the scene) and those that include poc (again, limited by how much i can brighten and adjust the scene’s lighting without white-washing). then i check set cohesion as i go, using those first few gifs as benchmarks. once i have all 8 (or 9 or 10) gifs, i play around with composition and try to balance and vary the subject, colors, and composition of gifs next to each other. i go back and make a couple of adjustments here and there according to what i observe and what i think might improve the overall appearance.

and that’s pretty much it! i hope this was helpful, if you have other questions feel free to message me and i’d be happy to help/troubleshoot. happy giffing!

[faebriel]

ok ok I'm insane and couldn't pick one so have two (no need to answer both if you don't want to)

“You talk to him.” Not kindly, but he does.

“I’m used to him,” he shoots back. “I’m the only person who is.”

That makes Niki feel something, some uncomfortable tug in her chest. She mentally kicks herself. It’s not jealousy, she reminds herself, because despite the near-cliff jumping and the long nights without food and the nuclear fallout that has punctuated her last few months, being jealous of Tommy would be the least reasonable thing she’s allowed herself to be, maybe ever.

“You don’t believe me,” Tommy says flatly. “You never - eugh.” He cuts himself off with another ragged sigh, running a hand down his face. “Look, Niki, it’s - we were all together in Pogtopia, right? But I was there first. With him. And you didn’t see the start of it, it was horrible, and I’m glad no one else saw the beginning of it either but it was still just so shit and he kept saying all these terrible things about Tubbo and Fundy and you and,” he takes a shaky breath, “then, when I died, I saw him.”

Her breath catches in her throat.

Well, the voice in the back of her head whistles. If you were still wondering about all this afterlife bullshit, if you want to know where you’re going after your third life, here you go.

and

“You didn’t even - this isn’t about L’Manberg, Wilbur!” Niki shouts.

And then he stops, breathing hard, and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say.

“What else is there?” he asks.

Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut, her chest, her shoulders, chilled down to the bone. With slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes, sitting in her throat, threatening to spill over into a sob. She swallows - to keep her cool, to stay calm, to keep it together -

And then, something in her chest just snaps.

“You said you’d come back for me!” she cries, and her voice hitches on the lump of tears at the back of her throat and god, she sounds absolutely pathetic. Wilbur’s face softens immediately, which somehow just makes her feel even worse. “In Manberg. When Schlatt put me in prison, and you and Tommy were in Pogtopia, you said you’d break me out when it was safe. I waited for weeks , Wilbur. It was… it was horrible.”

“Niki…” a kaleidoscope of emotions flicker across his face, and he seems unsure which to settle on. “We got you out though, right? After the festival.”

“You looked for the button first,” she says quietly, and he stills.

Her sniffling sounds embarrassingly loud against the quiet background of night.

thank you sm!!! i’m gonna put these under the cut because they got a little long sorry (tw for discussion of suicidal ideation)

to preface: tommy is kind of the accidental but incredibly necessary invisible support beam for niki and wilbur’s making amends in bitter. niki cannot accept wilbur’s actions and apology without first acknowledging her own actions and making steps towards an apology, because otherwise it kind of falls flat? in that ending scene niki finally gets what wilbur is feeling and wilbur finally gets that someone else knows how he feels (it’s not perfect 100% yet, but…. that’ll get explored later)

onto the actual snippet! “tommy talks to wilbur - not kindly, but he does” was very important to me! tommy has stuck by wilbur ever since pogtopia, but the tragedy is that he is not equipped to deal with wilbur’s issues, and it shows. wilbur’s first stream after revival depicts this really clearly, where tommy tails wilbur around the whole time but insults him, is still stuck on calling him the villain, physically fights him at some point, etc. on one hand this isn’t healthy but on the other hand tommy is actually around, which is more than can be said for basically any other ally wilbur has had on the dsmp, maybe excluding his dad, who literally killed him lmfao.

this whole issue is exacerbated by the fact that tommy believes that he is the only person who properly understands wilbur, the only person who gets what happened to him, and feels like wilbur is generally his burden to bear. he failed to stop wilbur from both 1. hurting other people and 2. killing himself after the pogtopia-manberg war - and he doesn’t trust wilbur not to do either of those things again, so he’s stuck hovering around wilbur while wilbur is inadvertently setting off his own trauma and feeling responsible for any way he might fuck up and hating that but not wanting to leave. tommy’s memory isn’t perfect and he isn’t a perfect narrator, what he remembers from pogtopia the most were the scariest parts and that’s understandable but it means he’s holding wilbur to the worst expectations of behaviour (and he does so very vocally). the others showed up later, sure, but in tommy’s eyes he’s the only one who saw wilbur’s descent, and by the time they showed up wilbur had already changed irreversably. tommy tries to rationalise this by splitting the ‘different wilburs’ apart from each other in his head (he does this in canon too - there’s one quote from like late 2020 where he says he and tubbo need to keep on going for who wilbur used to be, not who he became, even though they’re,, the same person), and no one challenges that perspective, so he just keeps doing it even though it’s not healthy for him or wilbur.

and then limbo happened and, oh geez, THAT didn’t help jhfaskjjfsa

tommy is on a bit of a knife edge with niki in this fic. niki’s in this state of “ok, he’s annoying whatever, i’m moving on”, but all tommy knows is that she tried to kill him that one time, disappeared off the face of the map, joined a book club with two people who definitely do not like him, and now is just acting weirdly mellow and polite. she is not someone he wants near wilbur bc what the fuck is she gonna do? what is he gonna do? who knows. he’s frustrated that niki doesn’t seem to acknowledge how he’s feeling (especially bc once upon a time she would have been someone he trusted to acknowledge them - they were friends, they fought together) and he’s taking a big step by telling someone about his concerns here, especially bc tommy doesn’t really like talking about them at all. he wouldn’t be saying absolutely anything to niki if he didn’t truly believe she should stay away from wilbur, even if he’s wrong about him. (sometimes i think i write tommy as a little too emotionally mature here but it all goes out the window when wilbur’s brought up. idk if that balances it out)

ok onto niki: this is the first she has actually heard of limbo! she’s only just come around to the fact that resurrection is possible at all. death is kind of a touchy subject for niki both in general and re: wilbur in the fic - she’s coming off of a period in her life where suicidal ideation was, uh, a big thing (whether you want to read that into canon or not is subjective, that’s just the angle i went with in this fic). the sudden existence of a life after death, miserable as it is - and whether she really believes in such a place, when it only exists in tommy and wilbur’s words - that is a lot of information for her to absorb all at once. death is a weird connection point for tommy and niki here, coming right off of the fact that they’ve just acknowledged each other having those problems - tommy, out of, yknow, altruism, would very much like to keep niki out of that place, and niki is quietly reckoning with the fact that that is where she would have sent him. the concept of limbo from the perspective of a character with no experience of it, even secondhand, is so interesting to me like what kind of eldritch location would you feel like you’re living in asghjkl

(also - i gotta be honest the jealousy angle here but mostly when she’s talking later about dream not deserving wilbur’s companionship kinda came out after this post came across my dash while writing. whoops /j)

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fun fact, this is the very first snippet of bitter that i ever wrote! all the way back in may!! this is like the moment of the fic - it's where the miscommunication that niki and wilbur have been having is shattered entirely - and so sticking the landing was uhhh kinda important to me lol.

wilbur's entire being in this fic is basically consumed by L'Manberg - he equates his self worth to it entirely. in his eyes, everyone (rightfully) hates him because of what he did to L'Manberg, because L'Manberg was corrupted and he himself with it, etc. niki tries to tell herself this, and while it definitely does form part of her issues with him, it was the betrayal that causes her this much pain - that he seemingly brushed her and their friendship off entirely when he supposedly left her for dead in manberg. because here is what we as the audience know: wilbur couldn’t leave niki in trouble when he heard her life was in danger, even when he was trying to find the button (pretty much the only thing he sees himself as having left at this point) and so he returned. here is what it looks like from niki’s perspective: wilbur told her to wait in manberg until it was safe to come to pogtopia, laid the place with TNT, went to blow up the place, and only returned when he couldn’t find the detonator (and then the first thing she saw him do in pogtopia was encourage the pit behaviour but that’s not what we’re talking about asdfgh). that is massive miscommunication and it’s been brewing between them for months - to make a quirky little reference to the title, niki has been carrying that anger with her so long it's gone bitter. it was never just about l’manberg with niki - not that anger, not her and wilbur’s friendship (hence the little flashback earlier in the fic, bc niki’s relationship to anarchism and statehood or statelessness juxtaposed with her friendships with wilbur and eret - she loves l’manberg bc she loves wilbur, but she loves eret too and those national ties don’t undermine that - is Real Interesting to me) - so when wilbur asks what else there could possibly be (because in his mind, what else could she have bothered staying around for?), she just fucking breaks.

“Niki freezes. Stock still, unable to move, unable to breathe, ice threading its way through her gut...with slow-dawning horror, she can feel hot tears welling up behind her eyes” - prose discussion time! heat and cold are two big throughlines in this fic - particularly for niki, cold is what she is. admittedly when i started with it i mostly wanted to subvert hot = angry and cold = dead but i kinda ended up enjoying this take on it for what it is instead of just as a subversion (also i like the idea of revived people running hot, their bodies r working hard to keep em going). she’s holding onto her feelings and refusing to deal with them, she’s frozen over. descriptions of cold are key to niki’s mental state throughout the fic - cold weight on her chest, feelings of frostbite when she and wilbur hug the first time, ice cold water during the dinner scene, waking up in the cold flat, etc. this was an attempt at describing a more visceral feeling of like, when you’re really mad and you can just feel the adrenaline running through your veins. always felt more cold than hot to me. when she starts to cry, the facade she’s been putting on is finally thawing out and cracking the ice she’s buried her feelings under. (also gives an excuse to write warm comforting hugs towards the end /hj). it’s a loss, it’s catharsis, it’s a whole mess.

and ofc this is all news to wilbur and he feels terrible, because as unintentional as it was, he really really hurt her - because the destruction of l’manberg fucking sucked but above all else wilbur hurt the people he loved because they loved him so much and not in spite of it, because they cared about him so deeply and his death was a massive blow to them. this hasn’t even dawned on him, because how could it? he respects deeply niki (lowkey respects her opinion more than his own at this point) so he has to listen, because it’s niki (“and he looks at Niki the same way he does whenever her voice is being drowned out in a crowd - the way he does when he wants to hear her, when he wants to know what she has to say” - because he does), and what she says fucking floors him. in his eyes, he failed her by putting her in danger and then by destroying her home - the idea that she valued him and their friendship so much flies entirely over his head until this moment, and he is forced to re-evaluate the mindset that has motivated him since… basically since pogtopia! the way i write wilbur is like… yes, he’s one of niki’s closest friends and he’s more aware of her insecurities and issues than most (which is why he does always take the time to listen to her, etc) but he does over-idealise her a bit. tbf, i think he does to some extent with everyone (calling tubbo strong on the anniversary stream, for example). also the fact that he really wasn’t around for niki’s lowest moments as a character! he still thinks of her the way she was in l’manberg - confident, steadfast, respected - and this moment shatters that for him as he realises exactly what effect he and his death had on her and everyone else, not just by his actions, but because they loved him and cared for him so deeply.

sorry that this got horrifically long!! and thank you so much for sending snippets in <3333