#(though a blue version did exist for a very short time)

[thefearwithin]

The Starlight Deer

Did you know? - The twinkling of the starlight deer’s pelt has captivated many, and of course, this includes hunters wishing to show off such an impressive pelt. To their great disappointment, the main features that set this deer apart -  the radiant, star-patterned markings - completely disappear after the creature is killed. Even their eyes seem to lose their shine. Interestingly, this does not occur in the rare event that these deer are found after a natural demise. Though the pinprick markings no longer twinkle, they still shine, and there are a select few who have one of these pelts in their possession.

Still, there are crafty hunters out there who try to find loopholes for this dilemma. One of the hardest workarounds is found in the ‘bright’ or ‘pale’ starlight deers. These deer don’t just have pale bodies, but also stark white markings whereas others have deep black. Still, like any starlight deer, these bright deer still have twinkling stars, seen more easily in the dark forests that they call home. As soon as they were discovered, there was talk among hunters about taking one of these incredibly rare deer down and being able to convince buyers that the stars still remained. This has only happened once, and everyone who came into possession of this pale pelt has fallen to some unlucky tragedy before they could even sell it. Many consider it cursed, and it has since been lost.

Their pelt isn’t the only thing that hunters are after, unfortunately. The starlight deer is unique in the fact that both males and females can sport large, impressive antlers. These ‘white point’ and ‘black point’ antlers aren’t as coveted as the sparkling pelt, but they can still fetch a pretty penny to the right buyer. Unlike the markings, these antlers do not lose their luminescence in death.

[livvidaloca]

what!? liv made human designs for the watterson family again!? yes, she did, and here’s her train of thought for these under the cut:

so, these are actually for my fic that i’m writing on ao3 in which gumball finds himself transported to another universe in which everyone is a human after the events of the inquisition. this is why there’s very few animal traits on any of them, or magically colored anime hair. i wanted them to look like people who could exist and walk around.

in this, nicole is blasian and richard is a white latino (with frankie being white non-latino and jojo being latina). (also these headcanons were based on a lot of convos with some of my friends back in the day, i don’t remember anyone’s reasonings for these but they’ve been true for so long in my brain) gumball and anais are mixed, and i tried to nod to gumball taking more after nicole and anais taking more after richard without making them carbon copies. and then darwin of course is black thats just canon

as for their designs themselves, i’ll start with nicole. i tried to make her look decently muscular (although the simplistic style i used doesn’t exactly show it off). her blue bandana and shoes are obviously a nod to her canon design, so she doesn’t look like an entirely different character. as for her hairstyle i looked into relatively low-maintenance styles, since she’s a busy woman! and her hair is starting to gray from all that STRESS!

richard’s design is the most straightforward, yet it took me the longest because i was never satisfied with how it was turning out. i’m still not sure if i’m crazy about it. all i know is that i was dead set on making him bald, since there’s literally a whole episode about that. I didn’t commit all the way because the design without any hair was making me lose my mind. i gave him some freckles as a nod to his whiskers because they’re a lot more prominent than nicole’s (which is why she doesn’t have any). this also translated to gumball’s design. also, how could i ignore the obvious choice and not give him pink bunny slippers!? it fits him so well!

gumball was fairly easy for me, because i kinda always have human designs for him in mind. i always give him those blue sneakers because duh, and i always give him dyed-blue hair that he visibly doesn’t maintain. i always had this human-version-only headcanon that gumball BEGGED to dye his hair for the longest time, and nicole finally allowed it on the condition that he’d keep up with it on his own. he didn’t. classic gumball

darwin’s design is also usually an easy one for me. big orange hoodie, green shorts and sneakers. this time i also made the decision to have his hair tied up to resemble his little fin. it’s not really visible with their clothes and stuff blocking the original sketch, but i also tried to make his legs a little bit lankier than gumball’s, just to make them appear longer like they are in the show.

as for anais, i always have trouble nailing the design without it looking like a completely different character. i cant dye her hair pink, because she’s supposed to be four, but i also can’t give her pink shoes, because she’s of course the only one who actually has shoes! then i remembered ribbons and my day was saved. still not sure if i’m completely sold on her design yet, though. i think she looks a little older than four.

anyways, i’m planning on doing other designs like these with other characters! let me know if you’re interested. as for that fic, here’s the link:

[mdhwrites]

The Grimwalker as a concept was so weird. Mainly that Hunter was all 'ohhhh no we cant tell them im a spooky Grimwalker!' But... why would anyone care? The only reason given is that hes a reincarnation of a guy nobody even knows or cares about. Theres not even like, a spooky myth about Grimwalkers because its got such a vague ruleset and premise. He's barely different from a demon.

That COULD have linked to the demon discrimination plotline youve talked about, but there is none so it cant be that. Which i understand was partially because Dana wanted the gays to just exist, so she scrapped discrimination in general. But, a big part of forming cultures and identity is 'Otherness'. People compare themselves to others and define themselves by how theyre different. So scrapping discrimination ends up making the witchs and demons feel like nothing. They have nothing to compare their identity and culture against because theres just no conflict to spark comparison.

This lack of substance also means the fans don't care about Grimwalkers. See the moring comic where the Grimwalker was turned into ANOTHER way to say 'haha Boscha so cringe amirite? point and laugh because she has nobody who loves her.' even though the grimwalker is to reincarnate the dead.

OH MY GOD I'M SO HAPPY SOMEONE ELSE NOTICED THAT! *SCREAMS BLOODY MURDER* Like I know Mark just writes Boscha how the entire fandom sees her (which hasn't helped me enjoy A Hint of Blue, not that I think it's good regardless) but seriously what the fuck!? Why do that to her except just to be mean!?

*sighs* What were we talking about? OH RIGHT! Grimmwalkers.

So for why Hunter has anxiety, it actually is because TOH is doing a very basic clone/artificial human storyline with Hunter and those arcs are actually a lot more internally motivated than externally motivated. Clone lives a life believing they're their own person, then one day finds out they're not, perceives themselves as less because of this distinction but then in the end decides that regardless of their origin, they are their own person and so throw off their shackles, embrace who they are and become better for it. It has nothing to do with race and while it is baby's first clone story, I also still like it conceptually because, well, there's a reason why it's the default clone story. It especially is good for kid's media because while the clone can struggle with the anxiety of it, their friends never have to actually be bad or discriminatory against them because the point is loving yourself for who you are and not who you were made to be.

But I've talked before about how this basic framework actually has a Catch 22 built into it when it comes to Hunter... Which apparently Tumblr wants to tell me I've never done before. Thanks search function. The short version is that this template requires not only a rejection of what they were made for but for them to become distinctly different, usually opposite, to their purpose/original. For Hunter, he only knows Belos so this takes shape in trying to be the opposite of him. The problem is that the opposite of Belos... Is Caleb. Who Hunter mimics in every action he takes after getting away from Belos. There's literally no way to follow this template without adding complexities like him accepting his true origin and being okay/happy with that, something that was probably unlikely in general but especially wasn't going to happen with the shortening, which I will actually give people for. Because the Grimmwalker twist happens so late, they either had to cut it or had no time to actually do anything with it which like... Why not cut it? You did nothing with it and it actually made sure you didn't have the time to actually have Hunter reject Belos' morality so that his redemption doesn't come across as self serving and for survival more than an actual, you know, change to his beliefs.

As for how interesting Grimmwalkers are... They're just clones. Boilerplate, boring clones. Make a body based on another person, put memories in, BAM! Got yourself a clone. Doesn't get more classic than that. It's hardly even magical honestly besides the components, especially with how it actually doesn't give them magic despite those components, or have weird quirks since they're not actually made of flesh and blood, elements that the fans have had a lot of fun with that the show never does, though admittedly part of that is due to how late it happens. Then again, all magic in TOH is boring so it's not likely they would have anyways. Also, you know, a lot of shows will do a single clone episode and have more fun and magic to it than TOH does with one of their core cast members being one so *shrug*

Now, for the final part, I do want to also touch on the 'other' aspect because while discrimination is one way to do it, you can get this across in other ways. One such way is the core defining trait of the Grimmwalker from a tangible standpoint: He doesn't have magic. In a society that mostly has magic, him not having it is a big deal. It's literally what gives him and Willow their first connection as a couple, as insulting as that scene actually should be to Hunter.

And then Hunter is 'fixed' when he gains his magic. His 'other' status removed because he's a real boy now. *SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGH*

I have so much more I could say about TOH and 'The Other' (made a blog about a lot of it between writing this draft and publish) but I'll leave it at that so it actually stays on topic instead of the half a dozen tangents I've deleted. None of this makes it good by the way and with how TOH tackles most subjects like this, it's incredibly unlikely that more time would have made it better. After all, being a Grimmwalker is only one of like a half dozen TANTALIZING character/arc concepts for Hunter that are never addressed. The fact that he is trained to kill witches and likely has. His relationship with the Isles because he doesn't have inherent magic. The fact that he is filled with such care for the nation and its government that it blocks out all else in his world. How a sheltered child reacts when they suddenly have freedom and are thrust into the wider world. Etc. etc. that are just footnotes to the writers more than anything to actually build a complete arc around or else they wouldn't have just keep adding to the angst bucket without actually resolving any of it.

So of course Grimmwalkers are bland while being a fine to good concept that's then made terrible by narrative implication or neglect. That's EVERYTHING to do with Hunter.

======+++++=====

Sidenote for this one: It is funny that Dana wanted there to be no bigotry in the Isles when her villains entire scheme is through religious persecution. You know, bigotry. Whole other blog I could go into.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[epicspheal]

hi cami! hope youre doing well! id like to ask.. have you seen that pokemon zensho is now fully available in english? i only found out recently lol. you can find it at mangadex! if you have, what are your thoughts on it?

Hi there @soulsilvers I'm doing well thank you for asking! Yeah, I actually didn't know that they full translated Pokemon Zensho until I got this ask, so thank you for alerting me to this I appreciate it! So of course I had to read it all last night! Link here for anyone who wants to read it! It was so cute honestly. First Pokemon Concierge, now Pokemon Zensho making me cry and I'm here for it honestly. Like you said on discord, it definitely is very rushed at only 9 chapters. I definitely would've loved to see it have a few more chapters to explore more about Red and Blue's friendship (well here called Ash and Gary) and going through the league (I always feel like the elite four part of the Kanto story always seems to get the short end of the stick). Despite it's rushed nature, it does make up for it in being the most true-to-gameverse adaptation. But what I appreciated the most was the details that were added were very grounded. Like the problems the gym leaders were facing felt real. It was cool to see how Giovanni became the way he was because it has been hinted at that he's not always been the ruthless Team Rocket boss but something made him that way. I've grown to like Lt. Surge a lot over the years and I feel like his arc was really wholesome too. Many people criticize Kanto for it not being particularly story driven (which to each their own, some people like story drive gameplay some don't, groups are valid), but to say it's completely devoid of story is false. The theme of Gen 1 besides exploration is relationships. It's why the key driver is the rivalry (and strained friendship) between Red and Blue. The orphan Cubone, Agatha and Oak, even Mewtwo's existence plays on the concept of relations in a subtle way. Zensho takes this concept and runs with it throughout as Red travels through Kanto. Much like Pokespe, Pokemon Zensho does a good job at bringing smaller but notable NPCs into the fold and it was done in a way that was not overbearing (looking at Marvin from SwSh Pokespe taking Hop's spot). It was cool to see the SS Anne captain and Game Warden get some more screentime. Also props for this manga low key making non-binary Bill canon! I know some people who read it may not like this version of Red not being "badass" in that he does earn some of his badges without actually defeating the leaders but I think the way it's handled here was okay. I think part of Red's character is supposed to be how he puts caring for others first despite being so talented at battling and I think it's okay that there are adaptations that don't just fall into him being a legendary battler who sweeps everyone. Even though this is a retelling of Red's story I would say if I'm honest this was really Blue's story. Blue got a lot of focus in this manga and outside of Pokemon Generations we don't really get to see into Blue's mindset. I appreciated as you mentioned on discord, how despite everything it did still focus on the fact that Blue was still Red's friend despite everything. It's not something that's focused on a lot in gen 1 adaptations. And of course the rest of the Oak family gets some shine too. This is probably my favorite portrayal of Oak in that it retains some of his flaws but humanizes him too (although I wish they had devoted some time to his and Agatha's rivalry). And Daisy...even with her limited screen time very much still shone especially with her calling out Professor Oak for his harsh words towards Blue. And then of course the revelation of what happened to Blue and Daisy's parents. Give those kids (and this Professor Oak) a hug. This is definitely my favorite of the four Pokemon manga I've read thus far and if we ever got a short miniseries for the Gen 1 games again I would hope it would take more of the Zensho approach and be game accurate while still expanding on little lore details.

[sneakypunmaster]

Sleepless Night

(targeted advertising to creatively tell someone to go to bed)

“Y O U” a gravely voice whisper shouts from the void to the offending artist.

Turning to face the sudden interruption, Maria did an out of sync slow blink. Like a lizard with no concept of thyme lazily staring down an offending bug. The bug in question was a dark blue blob with some gold accents here and there. It was an odd sight to see in the dark of their room and even though a corner of Maria’s mind screamed about how the ‘hat man’ was finally here to whisk her away to the unknown. Another part of Maria’s mind, a much deeper and more personal part whispered that they knew this offending blob.

There was no mistaking it, this offending blob was a familiar personification of a skrunkly. A skrunkly, Maria knew very, very well. For they had once spent countless hours designing this character over and over again, even going as far as to hide a poorly drawn version away from others. Away from any judgement that may match the internal “ew no” Maria experienced when first experimenting with the character’s appearance.

‘This was It’ Maria thought to herself ‘I finally snapped’ their thoughts continued on as they took in the sight before them. It was a character they had written for one of their AUs that had gotten significantly popular. Moon or CS Moon for short stood before her with an unimpressed expression on his face. The faint glowing of decorative stars lighting up the very much ‘tired all of this and everyone’ nightly god. Highlighting a softness to his form that was currently not present in Moon’s expression.

“What are you doing?”

The question was clearly rhetorical and yet Maria moved to answer it. Opening their mouth to speak only to have Moon shush them,

“When-“ Moon spoke in a language Maria was all too familiar and yet unfamiliar with. The foreign language danced around her ears like an unintelligible melody. Something that would never be understood by such simple ears and yet sounded like a beautiful language at the same time. Even though Maria couldn’t understand they guessed it wasn’t said in the brightest light their ears had heard it in. Moon looked about as grouchy as ever, like a disappointed parent catching their child up and dancing at night.

“-told me that everything and everyone was a story book character in an alternate world. I should have known better than to indulge them” he wiped a hand down his face agonisingly slow. As if the thought itself was more than enough of a reminder of how he ended up in this place.

“What are you t-“ Maria couldn’t even get a word in before Moon sent them a sharp glare. A glare sharp enough to cut air and silence those around the god and silent Maria fell. Mouth thinning out into the thinnest of lines as they subconsciously gulped and leaned back in their chair. While Maria knew Moon would never hurt her, she still decided to let him take the reins of this conversation. After all, their mind and body felt like jello. Like a leaf in the wind, floating along to whatever was going on and just existing alongside the invisible tides. Though they would never admit it, Maria was too tired for this.

How sleep deprived was Maria? She had no idea but judging by how life-like and realistic Moon looked, she knew she had just crossed some sort of border. A boundary between waking sleep and sleepless night or whatever the right word was — this was taking up too much mental energy to name. Seemingly already out of it, it took Maria a full minute to realise someone was talking to them. But who was talking to them again? Oh right, Moon…or well one of their Moons. Out of all the Moons in the world, Maria was glad they were hallucinating about this one. After all, they didn’t want to get mauled without their trusted lume 5000 flashlight.

“Did you even hear what I was saying?” Moon’s unimpressed tone caught Maria off guard. Causing her to splutter and look up at the fictional god in confusion,

“s-sorry uhhh…what?”

Maria cringed at the tone of their own voice, sounding scratchy and exhausted despite being wide awake. Knowing this was all most likely an odd little dream, the least traumatic form of sleep paralysis they had ever experienced. Maria just blinked up at Moon once more and earned a sigh from the skrunkly in return.

“When was the last time you slept?”

The question was simple and yet Maria found herself counting on her fingers. Staring off into space in thought before forgetting what she was supposed to be even doing in the first place. Making a quick pop sound with their mouth, Maria looked up at Moon almost expectantly. Almost as if Maria’s brain would communicate through the dream character and tell them what amount of time had passed since they last slept. Instead of this however, Moon let out another long sigh. Shaking his head once the god of night already knew the answer, it had been too long. Far too long one too many times for what was considered healthy for mortals.

Rushing to reassure the figment of their imagination, Maria opens their mouth to speak, “I’m really not that ti-“ only to be interrupted by an involuntary yawn.

This did not seem to impress Moon as much as Maria had hoped. Shifting his weight from one side to the other the night spoke his final question,

“Why are you even awake?”

Ah, this was something Maria could answer. Pulling out their pathetic excuse of a phone, Maria held it up in the air. Waving it around a bit as the smart phone was already one foot in the grave as it tried not to heave out its hard drives. This gesture only seemed to confuse the centuries old god. Rather that was because phones had not been invented in its time or rather because it just didn’t understand where Maria was going with this. But that’s ok, they would explain it to him,

“This is my phone” they started off slowly so that Moon could keep up, “I’m writing the next chapter on it…but it’s a little hard. There’s lines of dialog I don’t think Éclipse would say” Maria explains like it’s nothing. Though there is a tint of frustration in their voice.

“Éclipse?”

“Oh um don’t worry about it” Maria tries to awkwardly segway away from the topic and doesn’t fail to live up to the awkward part at all. Turning back to her desk, Maria accidentally drops the half-dead phone and splutters to pick it up. Quickly turning it on and off to make sure it was somehow still working despite being on its last leg and luckily it was still going. Maria turned back to the awaiting god of night and looked up at him. Sheepishly trying to hide the wobbly smile on their features with an awkward laugh. Causing Moon to squint his eyes at them, clearly this display was not working as much as they had hoped.

“You need to go to sleep”

Moon emphasises on the word ‘need’ and frankly Maria silently agrees with him. But there was no way she could sleep, not like this. Already having crossed the point of no return centuries ago, Maria opens her mouth to protest,

“But I need to get this chapter out. If I could just figure out how t-“

“No”

Maria’s words are cut off by Moon taking a step forward through the darkness of their room. Body highlighted by the faintest streaks of light as the early morning sun teased its arrival and the start of a fresh day peaking out from beyond the horizon.

“You can get back to writing later, but for now you must sleep”

Moon reiterates in a much stronger and more commanding voice. Causing Maria to whine in protest, unable to come up with a good comeback other than ‘I’m not tired’ and ‘I’ve stayed up later before’ knowing that would not help her case here.

“…b-but I can’t sleep”

Maria tries to explain and at this it seems Moon understands. Looking the tired artist over before looking back up at them and doing something Maria had never expected from him. Moon smiled at Maria, actually smiled and the smile caused the artist in question to pause. Leaning back in their chair, Maria knew what he was planning. After all they did design and write Moon. Whatever dream-state mirage this was, Maria knew what was in store for them.

“Do you want to sleep?”

“I mean yeah b-“

“Then you shall sleep~”

The god of the night said so smoothly and softly it was almost jarring compared to how Moon usually spoke. Knowing what was to come, Maria’s eyes widened in realisation as they say their own fictional character audibly begin to sing a foreign melody. Moon didn’t even get to sing the first line of the lullaby before Maria promptly passed out. Out like a light and laying slump against her chair as Moon took note of the soft rising and falling of her chest.

Smirking to himself, Moon pat himself on the back. This was a new record, no mortal he had crossed paths with before had been this sleep deprived. Looking over the sleeping artist once more Moon made sure they were ok before grabbing a nearby blanket and tossing it over their sleeping form. Doing one last look over before whispering a simple little, “Good night”

“Alright, I’m ready to come back now. If you told anyone I left the celestial realm. I’ll remind the higher gods you pushed me into this world”

Moon grumbled impatiently at the open air of the room. Back turned to Maria as he awaited the familiar portal to open up and step through it. Shooting a glare at the guilty god in question as he silently curses himself for having let his guard down so easily.

@pillowspace I mean this lovingly when I say, “go to bed, you sleepless heathen”

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Character Profile - Canada

Character Name: Canada. Matthieu Marc Jean-Luc Bonnefoy. Matthew Williams. Matt. Mattie. Mattie-no-mates. Frostbite. Mo leanbh.

Age: 10-12 by 1760, 13-14 by 1815, 18 by 1867, 22 by 1945.

Height: 6'0/183cm by 1867, 6'4/194cm by 1949.

Physical Description: A beautiful but disappointing baby that grew into a tall and oddly hollow adult, Matt will surprise people a little when he's not dressed like a flannel onion. He's a little too tall and thin to look normal unless he's in the woods, and then his body proportions look correct compared to the winter-stripped trees. He's got shit posture, so it's easy to forget how tall he is until he's reaching to get something off the top shelf someone asked for, and suddenly he's unrolling himself a whole new half-spinal column. He got some of Francis' beauty but much of Arthur's sharpness. He looks somewhat fragile, but in the way an axe with a poorly proportioned handle does. He'll get the fucking job done, but the damage accrued will be impressive.

Eye colour: Blue on a technicality but a shade of deep arctic water grey-blue. The sky in the dead of winter when the cloud cover is so thick the whole world is tinged with carbon, charcoal and iron.

Hair colour/style: A few shades lighter than Alfred's and just a hue or two shy of being strawberry blond. When it's his own choice (and for much of history, it wasn't), he wears it longer than Alfred generally, so the curl shows more than on Alfred. He's spent so much time in the bush that it's gotten disgusting and needed to be cropped short again because he wasn't keeping it up on it. Still, in modern times he has an embarrassing amount of hair care products he's always hiding when Alfred comes over and throws a 15 in one bottle of something in the shower, or he'll get the absolute mickey taken out of him.

Other distinguishing physical traits: He's got some scars floating around but not many, all things considered.

Personal Appearance/Style: He can look extremely nice and put together, with a very fashionable closet of options at certain times, especially for official events, but otherwise, he's a creature of comfort. Flannel pyjama pants, sweaters, two pairs of socks, a collection of plaid shirts he's barely updated in decades. His entire existence relied on French fashion for half his life, so he knows the rules and can look like a fashion plate if he wants to; the problem is he generally doesn't want to, and his own tastes are quite homely. Even Arthur is like, "come on now, lad, you can do better than that."

Verbal Style: He mostly has a fairly mild Canadian accent and honestly plays it up around others to further distinguish himself from Alfred. He speaks a very standard version of French around others most of the time because he's easily embarrassed when laughed at about Quebecois or the rest of his non-standard dialects but drunk or upset, it's pure joual and ironically the only person who understands him is Arthur because English kept weird pieces of the Norman dialects that made up most of the early Canadien French. His Gaelic is good but has some French sounds in there. His Dutch sounds, unfortunately, Flegmish to Jan because he spoke French natively and learned a lot of it in Flanders during WW1. Russian + German, he speaks with a raging Ukrainian accent just for the raging fuck you from Katya. Those Gs of his are a pure hique from the steppes or downtown Lviv.

Level of Education: He had a very good classical education under Francis in the 17th and early 18th centuries, when he still thought he might be useful. Still has quite a lot of skills in Greek, Latin and Hebrew when he wants to. He's never been much good with math or financial things; his math somewhat stopped at what he needed to be an effective clerk for the fur trade. The only time Alasdair ever yelled at him was when Matt just completely blanked for decades with Algebra and Calculus. Did very well in almost all applied versions, though. He has much knowledge of many things and surprises people quite often with how much he has retained from being the first dominion. That position gave him a very pragmatic political education under Arthur and some really sharp peacekeeping skills. He got more into forestry after WW2. He's the most educated nation in the world now, and its probably because showing up for class keeps him out of the woods and going feral.

Occupation: Diplomat, forest ranger, government minister, arctic conservation.

Past Occupations: Soldier, sniper, infantry, pilot, paratrooper, ship's boy, lumberjack, fisherman, apothecary, fur trapper, merchant's clerk, farmer, hunter.

Skills, Abilities or Talents: He can go practically unnoticed by other nations, especially when those with stronger identities are around. He was practically born a part of the forest. He can survive in woodlands practically indefinitely, even when he's so mentally ill he turns off the human parts of his existence. Knows practically every animal and plant in his country and a good chunk of the world. As almost as natural on the water as Arthur but better in smaller crafts meant for freshwater.

Admirable Personality Traits: Deeply loyal, compassionate, giving, gentle, polite, and welcoming.

Negative Personality Traits: Loyalty is a really two-edged sword, anxious, depressive, reserved, cold, and passive-aggressive.

Sense of Humor: Gentle, ironic, self-deprecating.

Physical/Mental illness or affliction: Absolutely terrible lungs and horrible ankles from snowshoeing and hockey, he started having back pain during his last growth spurt, and it never went away. He's a fucking tinderbox of mental problems. Just throw the fucking DSM at him, honestly, because he's been a wreck his entire life. He might tie his father, but he happens to hide it even better than Arthur because he doesn't end up drunk on his brother's doorstep because he's got even less of a wish to be a nuisance than Arthur. And also, he doesn't affect international policy like Arthur or Alfred's, so no one really gives a shit how moody he's been for most of his life as long as he goes and does it out of view, so he's not wrecking the mood or being a nuisance.

Hobbies/Interests: Reading, hockey, hiking, camping, woodwork and carving in practically any material, even ice. Sailing, kayaking, skiing, snowboarding. He and Alfred go good old-fashioned sledding almost every year.

Favourite Foods: Anything warm; he's not about to be fussy, annoying and picky. He loves poutine, the good stuff with duck fat demi-glace, but nothing satisfies as much as oven fries from the frozen section, cheese curds and packet or jarred gravy. He's the holy mother of carb whores. Potatoes, bread, pancakes, doughnuts, pastry, Montreal bagels. Remember, we're the fucking people who looked at pizza and spaghetti and went "hmmm..... that's not enough carbs" and put the fucking spaghetti on the pizza.

Most important personal item: When he plays some important hockey matches he uses the laces from the combat boots he was wearing for VE-Day to hold his leg pads on. He had a rosary with the largest piece made from the bulla Rome gave Francis he carried everywhere, but Francis took that with him 'for safe keeping' when the Seven Years War started to go against them, and Matt never saw it again. He still has the one Alasdair made him from whatever rocks and wood were around in a trunk of keepsakes.

Person/friend close to character: Alfred is the most important person in his life, whether he likes it or not. He usually prefers it that way but only sometimes. Maria has been a close friend since the 90s. Jan is very special and was almost exclusive until the 90s, but still a large part of his life. Arthur's really important still. Jack and Zee are a fixture. Francis is important but a massive dick. He and Aditya have always gotten on extremely well, especially with Sikh culture strongly represented in Canada. Katya is ungodly important to him, being his most distinctive formative part besides indigenous, French and British.

Brief family history: He was born a baby hot potato between Scotland, France and England, getting tossed around constantly because fuck he was useless and expensive. Assuming Arthur is his father, he's got two uncles (one of whom Arthur considered his 'actual' father for a while) and an Aunt. One older brother, one younger and a sister. He might have more 'family' on Francis' side, but his global relations are still very much informed by the Anglosphere today. Diversity win! your favourite gay couple committed war crimes and produced a nervous wreck! Everyone waited in anticipation of the third North American child after the impressive shows put on by Maria and Alfred. It was probably the greatest letdown of 17the century European bullshit in the Americas after the silver collapse, and that set the tone for his familial relationships for the rest of time.

Most painful experiences in the character’s past: 1760, the Rising of 1837-1838, Passchendaele, Halifax going boom.

Their Song: The Unlikely Candidates – Follow My Feet

[mable-stitchpunk]

Could we get descriptions of the human characters, any original designs, and any differences the animatronics have from canon designs in Home and when any appearances may have changed throughout the story? I wanna draw some events from the books but I'm kinda blind to character descriptions in stories unfortunately.

Sure thing!

Mike stands about average height and is of athletic build. Like, not ripped, but he runs regularly and stays in shape almost getting himself killed all the time. He has sharp, blue eyes and black hair that's usually styled to look a little unkept. He has a mild tanned skin tone.

Jeremy stands slightly shorter than Mike and also has blue eyes, and almost always is seen wearing his glasses. His hair is blond and goes to about his neck. He has a pale skin tone and his features are a bit more softer.

Fritz stands a couple inches taller than Mike and Jeremy. He has brunette hair that's kept short, brown eyes, and usually keeps some stubble on his chin. He has a darker skin tone from Mike- I suppose dark tan is sort of the best way to describe it. Mature but friendly features. Dips from having "worked all night" rings under his eyes to a "slept fine" lack of them, and back and forth.

Natalie looks pretty much exactly like Vanessa. I don't know how that ended up happening, but it did. 👀

Initially, Scott's physical description was kept majorly up to interpretation for the reader, but since then he's sort of turned into a brunette with hazel eyes. He has visible but faded scars on his cheeks and across his body from his accident. He lost his lower right leg and wears a prosthetic, though is usually covered by his pants. He frequently wears cardigans and sweaters, slacks, comfortable and soft clothing. He wears glasses when he works and reads, but doesn't require them elsewise.

When CGHA began, Scott looked especially weary and was taking poor care of himself. Living as a recluse and showing such by usually existing in a bathrobe and staying unkept. By the time of GHIAB, Scott is consistently cleaned up and looks healthier.

Louise stands a little taller than Natalie, usually because she wears heels. She has a soft, heart-shaped face and slender but curvy build. Though initially introduced with brown hair, she dyed it red during Halloween and has kept it that way since. She tends to wear skirts and dresses with matching nails and makeup.

Tabitha is a middle aged woman with short brown hair and is frequently seen with a 'I'm done with this world' look on her face. She has a heart-shaped face that matches Louise's, but not as youthful or full.

Chrissy has wavy or semi-curled blond hair and big blue eyes. If that sounds similar to Susie from Pizzeria Simulator, that was in fact another Natalie-Vanessa situation. XD Though Chrissy's hair is not nearly as curled and is more naturally tussled.

All of Charlie's friends stick pretty close to their graphic novel versions.

Gregory looks the same as in Security Breach and while Cassie hasn't appeared yet (in case you're curious), she will have her cutout design.

Ness is a pale woman with shoulder-length brown hair and blue eyes. She has body proportions very similar to that woman who's been running around in a bunny suit, which is probably a coincidence.

Okay, now with the major humans out of the way, onto the animatronic changes!

Marionette looks a lot like canon Mari. The only difference is that his neck is a little shorter- though later versions of the Puppet shortened the neck anyways. XD

Foxy looks relatively similar to Fnaf 1/Fnaf AR Foxy. The only difference being that as of the middle of CGHA, Foxy was repaired. He no longer has a tear in his chest and now has fabric over his hand, but still has his hook. Foxy has fabric lower legs and feet that he wears during showtime, but he takes them off when he's not on the clock. His shorts have been repaired and during work hours he can be seen wearing a green pirate coat (the pirate coat from Captain Foxy's Dark Ride in Help Wanted).

Security Puppet Charlie looks a little softer than Pizzeria Simulator Security Puppet. Originally she was supposed to just be that same one, but I keep imagining her with a head and face that's a little close to Mari's in shape, though still with the rounder eyes. The cuteification of Charlie.

Baby originally looked like Scrap Baby, but over the course of AFLH she was repaired. Having plates replaced and repainted to look more like a complete version of Scrap Baby. In GHIAB, Baby took down her pigtail wires and changed them into a low ponytail (to regain her own identity) and then began to wear a small hat. The hat is a refurbished Freddy had, covered in red crushed velveteen with an orange band and a feather, and is a gift from Scott.

Ennard originally looked very much like normal Ennard, though a little more put together. His hands resemble the ones from Ennard's Help Wanted cutout picture instead of the knotted wires like in Sister Location. At the end of AFLH, Ennard got shot in his right eye and had to replace it with a yellow one, with his left remaining blue.

As of GHIAB, Ennard was gifted a technician suit styled to look like a clown costume. Because I'm feeling lazy, here's the exact design from the chapter-

"It looked like the coat a ringleader would wear, though green in color and without coattails. Golden colored buttons lined two rows in the front, with a zipper hidden under an edge of fabric between them. The collar was a deeper, emerald color and edged with sequins that matched the buttons. The sleeve's cuffs matches the collar, but with an edge of a white frill lining it.

The pants had one leg green and the other yellow and were made out of a slightly stretchier material, but otherwise looked like normal pants. There were a pair of new work gloves and boots in the bottom. These were relatively simple compared to everything else, just forest green to somewhat match the theme of the rest. There was a velveteen red ribbon in the bottom, likely to be tied in a bow."

Balloon Boy is in the Little Joe body from Sister Location instead of his old BB body due to concept unification.

Springtrap looks a little less deteriorated than he did in Fnaf 3 because of the time difference.

The last notable animatronic change/appearance is Jake.

Jake is the old Sun. So, his body resembles Sunnymoon's except greyed out due to his lack of glow. Jake wears the Stitchwraith's mask, of which a lone blue eye peeks through, and his tattered black coat (which is often equated to a trash bag like material). Underneath his mask, his face is damaged from having parts removed. His pants are tattered and cut short, and his lower leg has been replaced with an endoskeleton one off of the old Stitchwraith body.

...And yes, that does look vaguely similar to Eclipse. XD That was another one of my patented random fnaf predictions, lol.

I hope that covered everyone! If not, drop me a line and I'll add more! ^_^

[lifezvictory]

Okay, so today’s (technically yesterday’s since I’m writing this post at midnight but I don’t really consider it to be the next day until I either go to sleep, or the sun comes up, whatever comes first) episode of SaMS was very emotional, to say the least. Normally I don’t write posts about those because my possibly neurodivergent brain (haven’t been officially diagnosed but I’m almost certain it’s true) doesn’t really know how to formulate coherent, smoothly flowing pros about hyper-emotional stuff, especially when I’ve recently been exposed to it. But, I have some thoughts that I have to share, so I’m releasing them into the chaotic bowels of Tumblr. (These thoughts, of course, contain spoilers for the latest episode so only click read more if you’ve seen it or are willing to be spoiled.)

So, I have a feeling that Eclipse is really, truly dead this time. And when I first got acquainted with this orange menace, I would’ve been extátic at this. I was the first time he “died.” But now? I’ve actually got mixed feelings.

On one hand, Eclipse really was a terrible person and he kind of deserved what he got. But on the other? I’m a little disappointed with the writers’ decision. Because, it felt like they had been leading up to a redemption ark for Eclipse. All this talk about him having nobody and no purpose, I just felt like it could have been leading up to something bigger. And even though I used to hate Eclipse with a burning passion, I have read two amazing fanfics that did an ark for him insanely well, and I would have loved to see the original creators of this character’s take on it. Although, there was a part of me that thought it might not go that direction because in one q & a, someone asked if Eclipse could be redeemable, to which Sun and Moon understandably denied and I thought could possibly be the opinion of the creators themselves, and not just Sun and Moon’s.

The little scene near the end of the video, with Eclipse and Solar Flare in the mindscape right before their death really got to me, especially with Eclipse’s reaction. He was genuinely terrified unlike his first version’s death, and I’m pretty sure the guy went through the five stages of grief in those thirty seconds or so. It resonated with me because it humanizes (animatronicizes?) Eclipse, showing that he fears death as much as anybody else, but it’s also relatable to me, personally, because I have quite a bit of anxiety surrounding my own death.

One thing, or rather one person that i feel like people aren’t focusing enough on however, is Solar Flare. I know many people didn’t care about them much (The Blue Guy, in his video talking about SaMS lore said that they’re basically just Eclipse’s minion which fair) but they always held a special place in my mind. I felt like there was so much possibility for their character, especially the way the lore episodes were going. They were just developing, or at least appearing to develop, sentience and a personality/identity of their own, only to be killed off along with Eclipse when they hadn’t really done anything wrong. They were only following their programming to serve Killcode when he was evil, and actually seemed to be forming into a decent person before their demise. Only for all that potential to just be wiped away in an instant, with not many people taking notice, in universe or out. Eclipse was the only person who got to know the true them, if only slightly, and he never even appreciated them or treated them well. Hell, I don’t think Solar Flare even got a single positive interaction with anyone in their entire short existence. Yet they still somehow managed to remain so well-intentioned and wise? (I have to continue writing my Solar Flare-centric fic in their memory)

In real life, death is just like that. It cuts lives short, removing vibrant beings with lots of potential (I have no clue what happens after death but I’d like to think of it as a permanent absence and not an absolute destruction for the sake of my sanity.) But, this is fiction. And there’s a point where I’d just rather not have fiction be quite this realistic and devastating, you know?

The fact that Solar Flare was so accepting of their death made it even more heartbreaking for me, personally. They were completely accepting of it, and didn’t seem afraid at all (although it could be because they weren’t yet emotionally developed enough to express it.) This, to me, meant that they had nothing left to live for, and felt as though they no longer had a purpose. And for me who, as you would know if you’ve been reading my posts for a while, likes Solar Flare quite a lot, it devastated me. I want to give Solar Flare a big hug.

I’m not sure how to end this post. But, that’s my thoughts on the latest lore. I think this was probably the longest post I’ve made to date.

[chthonicgodling]

(April’s)Huevember - Day 21!

featuring: OrigiMel!Meli

[in which I’ve made my very own #Huevember wheel this year (that you can use too! Pls tag me I’d LOVE to see!) - unabridged version continues, including a wide array of Elysium’verse characters across the rainbow!]

bet you didn’t think I could squeeze in any of our black and white characters during this very colorful month Huh?? WELL jokes on you! NOTES::

Okay yes admittedly kind of a cop out cause I usually use Eury for all my deep blues BUT then I realized Meli’s eyes were basically this very shade and??? HMMMM!!

OrigiMel & other iterations has her very own super long lore post on here but the short version, Meli is double souled, half Most Evil and half Most Good. For most of her life (2,000 years though she always looks like she’s just 8 years old) the evil side was in control, allowing her to carry on a reign of murdery heinous terror among the mortal world and the underworld

OoC this version of her is called OrigiMel to separate her from the other versions of Melinoe that exist here! bc yknow, this supervillain is the “original” of “Meli”

she was the single biggest threat and cause of devastating chaos in the very beginning when Maci and a still mortal Tory were only just friends 😭 yes I’m including Thanatos in that count 😳

Here she is having an evil fun time! Fun awful fact, when taking lives OrigiMel would hypnotize mortals to keep their entranced shades under her control forever and ever afterwards 🫠 shortly before her annihilation - one of those shades did for a moment include Tory’s own mother

ON THAT CHEERY NOTE stay tuned for tomorrow! Tomorrow finally begins the purples and pinks and I absolutely adore every one of the drawings coming up I’m so excited!! Stay tuned!!! click the link up above to see the whole Huevember wheel - feel free to use the tag AceprilHuevember if u want to play too - and my tag this year can be found here!!

[zarvasace]

I Found Another Portal but Nobody Will Tell Me What the Quest Is

GUESS WHAT I FINISHED MY FINALS (and I really hope I passed that one class) SO! I'm gonna post this :) It's just part 1 of 2.

Gen in both senses, currently ~3.1k, Legend-focused. AO3 link here. (fyi I prefer comments over there so I have them to read later :) )

This is part of what I've been calling the Narnia AU, where the Links live (mostly) in our Earth and have magic portals to different Hyrules. The short summary version of this is: Legend gets isekai'd to modern Earth. Also Wind has access to every camera in existence, somehow.

---

Link sighed, looking into the empty cave. It wasn't a very big cave, and about half of the floor space was taken up by a deep pool, lined with beautiful stones. Once upon a time, the pool glowed with the most gorgeous blue light, and had housed a  powerful Great Fairy, along with dozens of the little ones. This one in particular, and fairies in general, saved Link's life many times, whether here in Hyrule or in one of the other countries surrounding it. He enjoyed visiting fairies when he could, this cave and others.

This pool had been dark and abandoned for months now. The other fairies, when he asked, said that this one had 'moved on,' whatever that meant. Knowing fairies and their different perceptions of the world, it could be anything from literally moving to a different cave or dying. Could fairies die? Link didn't know, and he didn't necessarily like the empty cave.

On this visit, however, Link dared to venture inside the cave just a little farther. He held up his lantern a few inches higher, casting light that curled around rocks and outlined the stones at the edge of the pool. Something… something inside the pool glinted oddly. 

As Link crept closer, a familiar, unwelcome feeling grew in his gut. He had very little doubt that this was the start of another adventure. Part of him wanted to drop the lantern and turn out of the cave, never to return, but the rest of him was too stubborn. He was a Hero, and he didn't shy from the task.

Even if he'd already saved literally everyone several times over. What a pain. At least he never went anywhere without his most important things, and could count himself ready. 

So Link crouched down by the pool, setting the lamp on the side with a sound that echoed. He didn't know exactly how deep the pool went, but it was clear and it was empty. He could see a rocky bottom and the thing that had caught his light in the first place.

An ornate metal frame, detailed with things he couldn't make out from up here, hovered upright over the bottom of the pool. Link knew enough to know that the odd swirling darkness inside the frame was most likely a portal of some kind. At least its magic didn't feel malicious.

Link sighed and weighed his options. He didn't know if there was a time limit here, though chances were pretty good. He'd prefer to go get more of his things from his house, but he didn't know if time would allow for it. He had what he had, then. It would have to be good enough. 

After snuffing out the lamp and shoving it back into his—thankfully waterproof—bag, Link took a last look at the opening of the cave, then jumped down into the pool. 

As far as he could tell, the water was just normal water, no fairy magic or any other kind of magic in it. Link tamped down on the transformation magic that rose to the top of his mind like a question, but he did borrow the mermaid's water breathing ability. No need to handicap himself. 

As his lungs exhaled the air and filled with water instead, he sank. Controlling depth while breathing water was difficult without the full transformation, but he just needed to go to the bottom. He caught himself on the mirror frame and drifted closer, looking it over. 

Any doubts he had as to whether or not this was an adventure thing vanished from his mind. This was a portal that was very clearly meant for him. Carvings decorated the gilt frame, iconography that called back to very specific moments in his life. They were vague enough to not give anything away to anyone who didn't already know what it all meant. Link ran a hand across the very special ocarina, the bolt of lightning, the harp, the stylized dress. Each decorated thing was a reminder, some of them unpleasant. 

Just because Link knew this was for him didn't mean he trusted it. He pulled a bow he didn't care about from his bag and poked half of it through the portal. It disappeared, and he waited a moment to see if anything attacked it. As far as he could tell, nothing touched the bow, so he stuffed it back into the bag. 

He tried his hand next. It felt like water on the other side, too. Nothing bit his hand, and it seemed to be fine when he pulled it back out.

So Link put his head into the weird dark portal. It was, in fact, water on the other side, and a lot brighter. Nothing appeared to eat him, so Link pushed himself the rest of the way through. 

It looked like he was in a river, with somewhat murky water that felt very different from Hyrule's rivers. The feeling of evil was entirely missing, as was any hint of magic at all, unless that dirty smell was magic. He doubted it. Sunlight filtered through the water, reflecting off of the oddly smooth riverbed. Link swam out farther into the river to touch the sides. They were rough, like the world's flattest stone, but without visible seams anywhere. Constructed, he assumed, somehow. 

The portal did not disappear, to Link's relief. On this side, the frame wasn't quite as intricate. A relief of the Triforce crowned the top, with elements of the Hyrulean crest surrounding it. Interesting. 

Well, the river didn't seem too dangerous. No Zora, no boats, just the occasional harmless fish. If Link's vision didn't betray him, then there was even a metal ladder built into the side of the river. He swam that way, then climbed up the ladder to a landing filled with weeds. Water streamed from his clothing and hair as he pulled himself up to the bank, but a twist of a certain magical ring dried him off. 

The ring's magic also made his hair fluffier than he'd like, but whatever. It was already pinker than it should be. He adjusted his hat.

Well. New world. Exciting. This wasn't what Link thought he'd be doing today. A part of him reveled in the new adventure, even if most of him was tired already. 

"This one is weird," Link muttered to himself. He saw some trees, which was normal, but a fence blocked most of his view on both sides of the river. Why'd they fence off the river? Didn't they need it? Oh well. Link climbed over the fence, and found himself in a very unfamiliar setting. 

He recognized the buildings for what they were, though they were huge and built with far more glass than was practical. People swarmed the path and staircases, dressed in clothing that would make Princess Styla either faint or squeal in glee, Link couldn't be sure. Most of them wore packs of some kind, but didn't seem like they were traveling long distances. 

A pair of girls about Link's age, maybe a little older, passed him on a path, saying something about classes and teachers. Although their accent was unfamiliar and difficult to parse for a moment, Link gathered that this place must be a school. A huge one, like the university that Zelda was talking about rebuilding near the castle. Had he jumped forward in time?

It would have to be a lot of time, Link thought, watching a long… something pull up on one of the larger roads. It made a lot of noise. The closest comparison he could make was to a metal carriage with small wheels, and without any obvious form of propulsion. Magic, then, probably. A lot of those carriages ran around on the dark roads, following painted lines and most of them smaller than this big one. 

Link gave the big one a suspicious look, chose a direction, and started walking. He was confident, though he had no idea where he was or when he was, because acting confident let him pretend he was in control. It also deterred curious civilians from being overly concerned about him.  

All right, so where was he and what was he supposed to be doing? He understood the language, but he couldn't read the signs. The characters were shaped like swirls, though he suspected they might be related to his own, distantly. He almost recognized a few here and there. Looked like he'd have to ask someone. 

Link followed a boy into one of the buildings, not comprehending anything. There were desks, glowing …books or something, and people sitting at tables writing and reading. If this was like Zelda's ideas for a university, then Link could get behind that. It didn't look like the learning was limited just to the wealthy, either, he thought, watching as someone's pack strap just popped off. Shoddy quality. The guy sighed and just picked it up by the other strap. 

He approached a woman at the nearest desk, since she was answering someone's questions about where a bathroom was. She seemed like someone vaguely in charge, though Link didn't think anyone was actually "in charge" of this room. He listened to the short conversation, trying to get a better handle on the accent. 

When the first person left, Link stepped up to the woman, who turned her attention to him. She'd done her hair in a rather unflattering style, and though Link wasn't sure about the clothing, he was pretty sure Princess Styla would cry over the makeup. 

"What can I do for you?" she asked. The accent was still weird, but he could understand most of it, at least. 

Link gave her a smile that he hoped was friendly. "Hello. I'm… new to the area. I was hoping to get some directions, to, um…" He wasn't quite sure what to ask for. Quests usually gave him information when they started in earnest, they didn't usually just throw him into things like this. 

"Directions to somewhere on campus? Or in the building?" 

"In town, actually. I'm looking for the…" He honestly wasn't sure. He could think of a few good places to get information for an unknown quest, and a few good places to begin. "...nearest temple." 

The woman looked at him as if he was a particularly perplexing puzzle. "Temple? I'm not sure where that would be, but you're welcome to use the public computers to look it up." She pointed at a table off to the side, lined with some of the… glowing things. 

Link had no idea what those were, but she clearly expected him to. He gave her a nod. "Right. Thank you." He turned from the desk, waited until she'd looked away, then hurried down a hallway. 

He knew what doors were, duh, but pretty much everything else in this building confused him. He could guess about the hanging signs, and the bright posters pinned up on boards, but since he couldn't read the words, he couldn't even begin to know what they were advertising. He turned down another hallway to see a door leading outside. He'd never admit how relieving it was to see that. 

Outside, the air was a bit nippy, but nothing his magic stuff couldn't handle. What Legend really needed to do was find monsters, or a fairy, or someone in charge. A sage, maybe. Perhaps he could find one at the university, but he wasn't so sure. Right now, it was a rather uncomfortable place to be, and he didn't know if there was any chance of him randomly running into someone who knew what he needed to be doing. 

Link walked for a little while, until he found a larger road. Across the street, he saw what looked like a collection of shops, maybe a few taverns too, so he followed a group of students across the wide road. One of them complimented his hair. 

An old woman came down the road, headed away from Link and the collection of shops. She'd evidently come out of one of them, since she walked slowly along with white bags dangling from the frame she was supporting herself on. Link paused, and in that moment, one of the bags split open, dropping her things to the ground. 

However jaded and cynical Link could be, he was still a Hero at his core, with the stupid rabbit heart to prove it. He jogged up and leaned down to help her gather things back up. 

"Oh, my, thank you for the help, young man. These bags are so flimsy, aren't they?" The old woman straightened back up and smiled at him. 

Quests did sometimes start with helping old women, Link thought. He sent her a smile back and pulled out one of his spare normal bags from the magic bag at his hip. (He had so many bags.) 

"No problem at all." He put the odd, slick packages into the sturdy bag and eyed all the other white ones she held. A few others looked close to bursting, too. "How far away is your home? I'll help you get everything there."

She tilted her head at him. "Oh, no, you don't need to go out of your way like that. I'm all right."

"I insist. Let me help?" 

The old woman seemed far more suspicious than Link had expected. Was theft really that common here? He tried to seem harmless. It wasn't as if he had any obvious weapons on him. 

"I suppose it's all right, I'm just a twenty minute walk away. Probably ten minutes for you." She smiled and let him take a few bags off of her arms. 

"My name is Link," Link offered as he took the bags. Names meant trustworthiness, right? 

"I'm Martha," the old woman responded. She smiled at him again and started walking. "Where are you from, Link? I don't know if I've ever heard your accent." 

Link followed. "Hyrule. Have you heard of it?"

"Perhaps at one time. I'm not as familiar with Eastern Europe as I'd like to be… My husband served overseas as part of a charitable organization several times, but he usually went to Italy and Germany. In fact…"

---

Wild poked his head into the computer room. Wind sat in front of three different monitors that faced away from the door, grinning. 

"Wind?" Wild asked. "What's so funny?" 

"Wild! Get us some popcorn, this is great." Wind smiled up at him. 

"What is?"

"Popcorn first!" 

Wild rolled his eyes, but complied. Whatever had Wind so enthralled had better be good. His demand for popcorn probably meant that it was, though. 

The house was quiet as Wild walked through to the kitchen. Most of the others were out, at jobs or classes. Wild thought that Sky and Four were out in their Hyrules, though he knew that Twilight was here, probably working on something in his room. 

One bowl of air-popped popcorn, a stick of butter, and a good helping of salt later, Wild pushed his way back into the computer room and pulled a chair over to sit by Wind. "So, what's so good?"

In front of Wind, the monitor on the left showed an ever-changing, tight grid of camera feeds, most of which Wild recognized. Those monitored their portals to Hyrule. The monitor on the right had up some windows that Wild mostly recognized, the internet and maps and such. The center monitor had a single video on it, and that's what Wind was watching. 

Wind took a handful of popcorn and started to eat the puffs two or three at a time. "I think I found a new Link."

"Another one of us? Aren't there already eight?" Wild frowned and looked closer at the center monitor. It looked to be a view of a neighborhood, with two or three houses visible. A young man stood on one of the houses' porches, talking to an old woman. He was clearly attempting to say goodbye, but the old woman kept chatting away. 

"Yeah, but who knows how many of us there are? I'm pretty sure he's like you and Sky, not native to Earth." Wind gestured with a piece of popcorn. "I've been watching him for a little while. He has no idea where to go, and he's dressed like that."

Wild had to admit that Wind had a point. The possible Link wore a long tunic with tall boots and no pants, which was either a fairly bold modern fashion statement or something from a Hyrule. His hair was pink, though. Did his Hyrule have hair dye? Or was it something more magical, like Twilight's tattoos or Time's weird eye? 

"So…" Wild took some popcorn for himself, too. "Why are we just watching him instead of calling everyone up to go get him? I mean, it's pretty weird to find yourself in a place that is distinctly not Hyrule." He thought back to his own first hour on Earth and how he had begun to panic when his slate showed a map entirely different to the one he was used to. 

"He's handling it pretty well. He wandered around the campus for a bit, then helped an old lady with her groceries." Wind switched cameras to a different view of the lady's porch. Wild had no idea how Wind had access to so many. 

"That doesn't sound very exciting to watch."

Wind shrugged. Onscreen, the Link finally got away from the old lady and headed down the street. Wind followed with cameras of varying quality. "I think I'm just curious to see what he'll do next. Also, his expression when he looked at the school's computer lab was priceless."

"What is that he has?" Wild asked, leaning in to look at the screen. "Does he have a slate, too?" It wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility. 

"Looks like money. The lady paid him? That was nice of her."

It took another few minutes for the Link to get back out to the shopping center. Wild had to admit, he was interested to see where this Link would go next. He knew what he would personally do to get the lay of the land—find something tall and climb it, and maybe try to find something for his slate to interact with, like the towers. This Link appeared to have some kind of plan, since he did walk with a lot of purpose. What was it? 

Wild was sucked in, too. This was really interesting. Besides… "I guess everyone is pretty busy. It's just us right now. We can probably wait until later, when more people are here."

"My thoughts exactly." 

The new Link headed for a glass door in the shopping center that Wild was quite familiar with. 

"Oh no," Wild realized. "That's the one Wars manages. That's a coffee shop. He's going to get coffee."

Wind shared a grin with him and switched cameras to see the interior of the shop. "This is gonna be such a disaster."

[gear-project]

Guilty Gear Music Arrangements To DO List

This is a list of Guilty Gear Songs that are either in desperate need of a remake, or just a stronger arrangement.

And by "Arrangement" I don't mean "Guitar Cover"...: I mean drums, I mean keyboard, I mean proper studio arrangement.

GG1: THE MISSING LINK: (Take your pick, but I'll list the high priority songs) Prickle Man (needs proper live drums) Mince (I've heard a Jazz arranement that was pretty good, but you can make something good too) In Slave's Glory (rarely if ever arranged) Death and Republic (never arranged for drums) Epilogue/Beyond the Dark Life (Piano Arrangement is uncommon, but so is Guitar Arrangement) Suspicious Cook (Uematsu version never gets an Arrangement) METAL > Deadend (Someone doing a riff/drums of this would be great...) Meths (never got an arrangement) D-A-M-E II (Zato's Ending Theme) (again, never got a proper arrangement, much less Black Soul) NO!! (Could use a Harpsichord Keyboard Arrangement) I'm Oldman (could use an arrangement for Drums/Pride and Glory riffs) Dear Me Way Attention Hello!! Brush Up Play It High (underrated but could use an arrangement) Love Letter From GunGun (obscure, but could use an arrangement) Writhe in Pain (the original GG1 version is special for its Harpsichord work)

GGX: BY YOUR SIDE: (lots of tracks that haven't been arranged EVER) Soul Dealer (could use better drum arrangement) It was Called Victim (definitely needs a full arrangement) Go! (another good filler song) A Daredevil (classic versus riff) Retake > Settlement (another Arcade-like Gameover riff set) It was Called Steelvictim (short "Endless Victory in Yourself" riff could use an arrangement) No Mercy (gets a ton of Guitar Covers but never a full arrangement with Drums that often) Calm Passion (a good Piano player would enjoy this one, lacks drum arrangement though) Primal Light (classic GGX Ending theme, this got arranged as "Way" by mistake in some albums) Walk in the Dusk (another Piano song that is really underrated) Keep the Faith (Testament's Boss Intro Riff, never got a proper arrangement) Bloodstained Lineage (needed a proper Drum Arrangement, but the GGXX version was closer to a Jazz arrangement) Grief (a short Dizzy Piano theme that doesn't ever get Arranged) Awe of She (seriously needs a proper full arrangement with drums, maybe even Harpsichord to go with Ky's Themes) Keep Yourself Alive (GGX version of this song seriously needs a drum arrangement, it has some of the best guitar solos even compared to later versions of Sol's themes) Hello My Dear (seriously needs a full arrangement and proper Piano) Stand By (a short riff loop but still could use an arrangement) Fatal Duel (I've seen Guitar Covers of this, but rarely ever a full Studio Arrangement) Burly Heart (the original GGX version seriously needs a proper Arrangment, it's a classic with the pacing) Liquor, Bar, & Drunkard (the original GGX version is much slower and has better guitars than the GGXX version, trust me) Feel A Fear (GGX version could seriously get a proper arrangement) A Solitude that Asks Nothing in Return (Venom's GGX theme is actually VERY good from a keyboard and drum standpoint)

GGP: Guilty Gear Petit/Puchi Series Fanny's Theme (Swear this song needs a Proper Arrangement, even drums)

GGXX: THE MIDNIGHT CARNIVAL (lots of these songs did get live plays, but not that often, wanna liven up your gig? Play one of these) Beatin' My Soul (almost never hear a live version of this song) D.O.A. (another Select song that only got ONE live play) Versus (classic riff set, short, but good) Noontide (almost NEVER gets a proper Live Arrangement) A Simple Life (only that one album that ONE time...) Good Manners and Customs (almost NEVER) 'Till Next Time (another classic that never gets played) Missing (for Piano players... almost never gets played) Boom Town Blues (another classic... rarely if ever gets a Live play) Go For It!! > Game Over (another Arcadey riff set... worth a shot) Existence (I've heard Guitar Covers, but never proper drums/strings) Nothing Out of the Ordinary (classic, never gets live played) (Also, anything from Korean Reload NE.XT Soundtrack)

GGIsuka: CROSSING OF SWORDS The God Bites own Lip in Chagrin (never gets live played) Hunt a Soul (could use live drum solo work) Color Edit Theme (drum and bass guitar work) Robo-Ky Factory Theme 1 (for Techno Arrangements) Robo-Ky Factory Theme 2 (drum Arrangers should check it out some time) Hurry Somebody Up (never gets live played) Confrontation (another versus riff) Sheep Will Sleep (almost never gets a Piano/Guitar Live play) Quicksilver (this was A.B.A's original Theme, almost never gets a live play arrangement) Lady Fascination (almost never gets played) The Irony of Chaste (again, almost no Arrangements, just covers) Kill Dog as a Sacrifice to DOG (need proper VOCAL Arrangement, so you can HEAR the lyrics but drums too) Calculating King > Lost My Holdings (another Arcadey Riff Set, never gets played) Peep (short loop, never gets played) Might is Right But Tight (nope, never played) Fill De Vent (if you want an Island Theme vibe) The Blues Practice (never got a proper Live Drum Solo/Shamisen Solo) Death Simpers at an Exit (never had a live arrangement) The Out of World (another obscure one... never got a Live Arrangement/Drums/Keyboards) The Fellow (who makes it Bored is Killed)... (yet another obscure bluesy theme that never gets live played) The Cat Attached to the Rust (good luck getting someone who can whistle this theme live)

GGJ: JUDGEMENT Character Select (could use a proper Live Vocal Arrangement) Stage 1 Theme (never gets played/drums) Stage 2 Theme (if you're good at arrangements you should give this a listen) Boss Battle Theme (another obscure one... underrated) Stage 4 Theme (swamp theme but very bouncy... worth a live play) Stage 5 Theme (speed metal... worthy challenge) Intermission 3 (this song is vital if you want to play Judgement Arrangements as a full session) Stage 8 Theme (very spooky theme... worth your time if you're good) Stage 11 Theme (Judgement's Castle... important theme to try) Final Boss Theme (Judgement's Theme, of course you gotta play this live someday) Continue>Game Over (Self-explanatory Arcadey riffs) Ending Theme (very good slow Violin solo, worth playing live sometime)

GG2: OVERTURE Chase (if you like symphonic Arrangements this is a good theme) Frailty (very good drum work in this song) Brainwashing (this song was in Xrd the once, believe it or not) Dignity (this song needs proper LYRICS I SWEAR... but it's also a prelude to Ramlethal's and Elphelt's themes believe it or not) Silent Wrath (also played for Elphelt's transformation) Option (very unused symphony theme) Raise The Curtain (GG2's Title Screen Theme, never played live) Walk (very nice Piano Solo) You Only Have to Decide It (never got a Live-play) The Fate Broke Down (another obscure GG2 song that never got a Live play) The Man (Asuka's Theme, never got a live play) Misadventure (never gets Live played, just covers once in a blue moon) Worthless as the Sun Above Clouds (Raven's theme, never got a Live concert play) The Mask Does not Laugh (Valentine's original theme, never got a live concert) Intellect, Reason, and the Wild Hiruandan Ride on Time (Sin's old theme, never got a live concert play)

I'm not gonna list Xrd or Strive songs, because those got a lot more attention in recent years.

Xrd songs I wouldn't mind hearing more Live concerts of though: Zato's Themes Venom's Themes Potemkin's Themes Slayer's Themes (If you're good at Jazz, his themes are something special) Leo's Themes (almost never get played, particularly for drums) Assassin Themes (When Life Comes/Spider's Thread, I'm talking 'bout those) Bump (never got a live play, much less High Voltage) Don't Give Up>Come to a Close (never played live, another Arcadey riff set)

That's it from me... if you (or someone you know) loves Guilty Gear Music and wants to play it... give these songs a shot!  I'd love to hear them.

[nym-ia]

Onerous (#6) - FFXIV Write 2022

Character(s): Nylos Eros, Venat

Length: 1,162 words

Warnings: Deep sadness, talk of self-hatred

Time Period: Endwalker (specifically just after Elpis)

They sat there, in a place that felt like nowhere. It wasn’t a particular ledge. There wasn’t anything specific beneath them, nor behind them, nor above them. The seat was smooth and hard, yet not uncomfortable, and the air was somehow soothing.

They sat there, gazing out into the nothingness. It felt like just moments before, there was an inconceivable amount of thoughts in their mind, but they felt lulled into a state of some sort of serenity.

They sat there, alone, but only for a short while. Before long, they felt a presence beside them. Together they remained silent for a while longer, until at last the woman of light spoke.

“So you have at last experienced it,” she stared ahead, each word coming slowly as though to lighten the impact. “After all this time… you have met me. The me I once was, long ago.” Her glowing blue eyes settled on their figure as they continued to gaze out into the nothingness, making no movement in response.

“This… this is a dream, isn’t it?” They asked.

“It is. I have not the strength left to greet you like this once more in the waking world.”

“Meeting everyone, back when the world appeared as though it were paradise…” they turned their head from her so she could see less of their face. “Getting to see Emet-Selch at a time in his life before he had been driven mad by the loss of those he loved… being able to meet the real Hythlodaeus, a friend so dear to him and to… to me…”

Venat tightened her lips.

“I felt…” their head dropped. “I felt as though I belonged- with- with them, with you- in a- in a messed up way. It was wrong, I know that. I am not the Azem that they so adored. I am but a flawed version of him.”

“Nylos,” her tone was soft, maternal, “though it is true you are not the Azem I once knew, it does not make you a lesser being than he was. You have lived a full life with many experiences, good and bad, just as he did. You are alive and breathing, just as he had been. And before the memories of those you met in Elpis were taken from them, you were admired as your own being outside of he whose aether you share. Now in the aetherial sea, I am certain that they remember you fondly, apart from Azem.”

“I…” their voice quivered. “I just can’t help but think of all the choices I’ve made until now. How many lives have been in my hands, I…” Their chest jerked with a small, withheld sob.

Venat reached for them, cupping their cheek opposite her and gently turning their face toward her. She looked into their tear-filled eyes, one the hazel they were born with and the other a glowing pink reminder of what they’d been through. “I could not be more sorry for the onerous responsibility that has been placed upon your shoulders, my child,” she whispered, and their gaze became downcast as tears finally leapt from their lashes. “You must remember all those that would be lost if not for your intervention, as well as those that love you for who you are, and allow that to ease some of the heavy burden you carry with you.”

She leaned forward, pressing her forehead against theirs. “I want nothing more than for you to find peace within yourself. Your very existence on this star has saved countless lives, and I know you are tired. You deserve rest, but I must ask that you continue onward just a small while longer.”

There was a moment of solemn silence between them before they pulled away, Nylos’ tears continuing to fall as she brushed some hair from their face. She looked to the hands in their lap and took them both into hers, guiding them toward her and rubbing the back of their palms with her thumbs. As she witnessed them experiencing a moment of weakness, she thought about the role she had played in their state of being.

“Nylos.” Her voice was steady.

They lifted their hands from hers, using them to wipe tears from their eyes. “I-I’m sorry, I don’t know what came over me.”

"Do you hate yourself?"

They froze in hesitation, her question resonating throughout their body. They gasped lightly before clenching their jaw, thinking about what she had been telling them until now. "How… could I hate someone who is… so loved by others?" They smiled, closing their eyes to avoid the serious gaze of the woman beside them.

She paused, then looking out into the distance. "I have bore witness to all that you have done in your life, how recklessly you have regarded your own body. How you’ve thrown yourself into harm's way time and again."

Nylos bit their lip, turning back away from her to hide their face.

"Do you hate yourself, my child?"

They looked down at their hands, returned to their lap, lightly holding one another.

"Why do you punish yourself - your body, your heart - for what has always been outside of your control?"

Their body trembled as they sat for some time in stunned consideration. Their lips parted for a moment before they closed them again. After some time, they took a deep, shaky breath. "I… have never been able to rid myself of this feeling… that I am capable of more. That I could have done something, something that I needed to do, but it was just out of reach. That… that if I were stronger, wiser..." Their hands squeezed into fists as their voice became as soft as a whisper. “Maybe things would be different if I were…”

Venat closed her eyes and lowered her head. "Another aspect of the enormous burden you bear because of my own choices… a weight on your sundered shoulders..."

"You did what you had to,” they looked at her, a brave little spark of stern determination in their gaze. “My suffering is not your responsibility."

"Would that it were true, my child."

A stalemate, forcing silence between them. They both sorrowfully stared into the nothingness of distance, knowing that they could forever go in circles about how none of it is really their own fault. Fate was in control from the first, and each of them needed someone to blame, even if that was their own selves.

Venat scooted closer to them, so that her shoulder touched theirs. She relaxed her head on theirs, and they settled into the crook of her neck. Her figure began to fade, indicating that too much time had passed and it was nearing their last moments like this. "Nylos, there is something I would ask of you."

"Anything, Venat," they answered, their voice gentle.

She smiled bittersweetly. "For the sake of the others who love you… for myself who loves you, as well… please...

“Take care."

[amessageonthewind]

September Selfship Prompts Challenge

2. Cold weather

Pairing: Adaman/Rachel during Legends: Arceus (spoiler alert for really far along in the timeline)

Author's note: Clue and Hint are OCs that belongs to my buddy @kammyclues

         This was it. Hisui’s final frontier – the Alabaster Icelands. The final obstacle for Rachel to conquer and survey, and home to the final frenzied noble that needed quelling. Lord Avalugg. Unlike the others, the Pearl Clan was far more hesitant to act than the previous nobles, simply due to the fact that Avalugg hadn’t actually acted out or hurt anyone, yet.

         It was very in-line for them to wait and see if there was an actual problem, and very in-line for the Diamond Clan to want the problem to be solved before it got out of hand. More often than not, Rachel sided with Adaman’s clan than Irida’s, though her sense of caution had a place and Rachel always took it into account when making her decisions even if she disagreed with the approach.

         So, here they were. Rachel had dressed a little differently for the icelands than the Coronet Highlands to combat the cold, but somehow Irida was still sweltering in the blistering cold. Something Adaman clearly couldn’t help but comment on. “How aren’t you freezing?”

         “Freezing? I’m practically sweating!” The short blond woman in her minimal fuchsia robes was fanning herself to stave off the heat, or whatever counted as heat in this harsh winterland. “If you think this is bad, just wait. This is nothing compared to where we’re headed.”

         The side-eye glowering at her from dark irises belonging to the tall man in blue hair and robes was a mixture of indignation and sheer disbelief. But a strange sort of understanding swirled in them as well. “You know, I’m beginning to think the problem between us isn’t a Diamond Clan thing or a Pearl Clan thing. It’s a you-and-me thing.” Adaman observed, though Rachel caught the way his shoulders trembled slightly. In-fact, when she looked at his hands, she noticed them clenching conspicuously, as though he were trying to hide the fact that he was shivering. The even tone to his voice certainly didn’t give it away, which was sort of impressive. She runs hot, he runs cold. She thought amusedly. “We’ll never see eye to eye on anything, will we?”

         Stopping her fanning, the Pearl Clan leader fixed Adaman with blue eyes as sharp as the icy sky above them. “I don’t see how we could, as long as you and your clan cling to your version of an almighty Sinnoh that reigns over time.” Rachel couldn’t stop the annoyed grumble that fell out of her lungs. Cedric sat on her shoulder, as he usually did, and they shared an annoyed look between each other. “Forgive my bluntness, but if such a being does exist, it’s certainly not almighty Sinnoh.”

         “Yes, yes. Believe what you want. Just tell us where we have to go.” At least Adaman made an effort to not bring up their different theological beliefs to her as cause for their disagreements (though he wasn’t perfect), especially after Rachel shared the findings of her own independent research into almighty Sinnoh, but Irida just couldn’t stop bringing it up. Before, Rachel was too afraid to say anything for the sake of maintaining the peace between the clans and the Galaxy Expedition Team.

         But now that all three of them had spent enough time working together and growing closer on a personal level, maybe they had reached the point where it was safe to express dissent without the danger of a disagreement escalating into political squabbles.

         Turning to face him, Irida nodded. At least she was taking this in stride, too, not being as prone to antagonism as she was when Rachel first met her. She was glad to see that her advice had really sunk in for the Pearl Clan leader. “We’re headed to see my teacher.” She replied. “And he’s only ever found in one place.”

         Glowering at her once more, Adaman shook his head. “Which is?” He prompted with a twinge of his typical impatience. “You’re talking about that Gaeric fellow, right? Where do we find him?”

         “At Avalugg’s Legacy, obviously!” She exclaimed in mild annoyance. “Where else but a great mass of ice could I have meant when I said we’d be headed somewhere even colder?”

         Politely, Rachel raised a hand to interject into the conversation. “Uh, word of advice, Irida? Never assume that anything is common knowledge or common sense.” She offered before shuffling in place, looking down at the ground. “That’s been especially true for me ever since I dropped into this time. The first time I asked for a bathroom, I had to cycle through so many synonyms before the Captain understood what I was asking for.” She shuddered. If there was one thing she missed greatly, it was indoor plumbing. What she would give to have a washing machine or a dishwasher, again.

         Handwashing clothes was a tedious and time-consuming nightmare she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.

         Nodding, Irida looked down. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

         Turning to Rachel, Adaman gestured towards her as he spoke, as he most often did. He was very talkative with his hands. “Ready to go, Rachel?”

         “I’ve been ready to go, I was just waiting for you two to be done.” She knew exactly how they were getting to Avalugg’s Legacy, so Rachel instinctively reached into her satchel for her Celestica Flute.

         Only to see Adaman walking away once she actually had it. “Sure! Stomp off without me!” Irida exclaimed in frustration as she ran to intercept him. “This is why I can’t stand people who only care about whether time is passing them by!”

         Unamused, Rachel exchanged a glance with the dark-furred Zorua on her shoulder. “Stop him.” She ordered him.

         Without a second’s hesitation, Cedric leapt off of his trainer’s shoulder and dashed to stand in Adaman’s way, stomping his foot to firmly tell the Diamond Clan leader that he was to go no further. Rachel ignored the sound of indignation that Adaman let out as she approached him. “And where do you think you’re going by yourself in this tundra?”

         Turning to face her, Adaman glowered at her much in the same way he did at Irida, though whenever his attention was on Rachel, he was more amused than anything. As though he found it funny that she could have any sort of authority over him. “We don’t have time to waste, the sooner we get to Avalugg’s Legacy, the sooner we can quell Avalugg’s frenzy.”

         “And I don’t disagree with you.” Rachel said before turning to Irida who had stopped beside the Survey Corps member. “However, this is a landscape that is much harsher than what you’re used to. Irida, sure. This is where she’s grown up her whole life, where her people and her culture lives and breathes." That's right. The Pearl Settlement had to be here in the Alabaster Icelands. She didn't see it anywhere else, and she knew where the Diamond Settlement was. Maybe I'll get a chance to see Hint.

         Remembering the kindly and friendly psychic, a melancholy stone dropped in Rachel's stomach at the memories that came associated with the woman. It was thanks to her that she had regained her memories of the Bug-type trainer in her time that had become her closest friend. Who would've thought I would meet his ancient great grandmother?

         Maybe she'd be willing to have another battle with Rachel. If there was a chance Hint's psychic abilities could help her unlock more of her memories, it was worth trying. One thing at a time. “But us? Until we’re both more familiar with every nook and cranny of this place, we should stick together. Safety in numbers.” Rachel gave Irida a smile. “This time, we take the safer option rather than the faster one. We’re riding on Wyrdeer.”

         Irida looked elated that Rachel was choosing her way of doing things for once, though Adaman wasn’t annoyed. In-fact, he felt warm that she was so concerned for his wellbeing. Warmer than he could feel in this accursed chill. Why did this wind have to be so biting?

         At least Rachel was appropriately dressed, wearing a cloth mask to keep her face warm and a scarf around her neck. She was more aptly dressed than him, he noted with a mild bite towards himself. He should’ve been more prepared.

         Pulling down her mask, Rachel put the Celestica Flute up to her mouth and tried to play. Emphasis on ‘tried,’ because though she put in the effort to learn how to play, she wasn’t very good and she simply didn’t have the proficiency, yet. Cedric couldn’t help but be amused every time she tried. It took her a few before the sound would come out of the damn thing.

         The glare she threw him when he started to snicker gave him life. “Just because I know how to play doesn’t mean I’m good at it, give me a bit!”

         “Are you sure you don’t want me to-?” Irida offered before Rachel cut me off.

         “I won’t get better if I don’t practice, just let me do it!”

         Backing off, Irida let Rachel continue to try to summon a Wyrdeer. Until finally, the eerie timbres of the flute echoed around the icy mountains of the tundra. Now, all they had to do was wait.

         Though Adaman was getting antsy – he hated the feeling of standing around and doing nothing when there was something that need to be done – he didn’t complain. After all, his clan’s dear Pokémon knew the value of almighty Sinnoh’s time. Wyrdeer wouldn’t be late.

         And sure enough, there he was, prancing towards Rachel eagerly, his pale grey fur almost camouflaging him against the monochrome ground he trotted across. Wyrdeer stopped before the short dark-haired woman and let out a friendly bellow in greeting.

         Smiling, Rachel reached up to give his neck a scratch and rest her forehead against his. “Always a pleasure to see you, Wyrdeer.”

         Making Adaman jump a bit, Cedric dashed between his feet and right up to Rachel, jumping up her back and sitting on her shoulder as she pulled herself up onto the large Psychic Pokémon. He took his place in her lap as Rachel guided Wyrdeer towards the clan leaders. “Alright, hop on! We’ve got a lot of space to cover and not a lot of time to waste!”

         Extending her hand, she reached towards Adaman to pull him up onto the Pokémon to sit behind her and then Adaman reached to help Irida onto Wyrdeer behind him. It was a bit of a strange situation, but it also felt right. Rachel never realized before how much she wished she actually had company out in the Hisuian wilds. This was nice.

         Adaman noticed her wistful pause as Rachel looked between him and Irida. “What? What is it?”

         “I just realized that neither of you have ever ridden with me, before.” Rachel pointed out with a small laugh. “That’s a first.”

         Smiling warmly at her, Adaman gestured out towards the icy tundra before them. “Alright, let’s get going. I don’t want to spend more time here freezing than I have to.”

         Smirking, Rachel exchanged a glance with Cedric before she looked back at them. “You’re gonna wanna hold on.”

         At that, Irida’s eyes widened. “Wait, why?”

         Immediately, Rachel tugged on the handle and with a mighty bellow, Wyrdeer reared up and began to dash forward at full speed, leaving behind a hefty cloud of snow where he ran. In an instant, Irida was practically clinging for dear life onto Adaman, shrieking, and the Diamond Clan leader immediately found his arms wrapped tightly onto Rachel’s waist as the woman rode the Pokémon at a pace that practically flew across the snow.

         Once they drew further from the base camp, he quickly realized why. There was a sizeable gap that dipped ahead of them that neither of them would have been able to cross without Wyrdeer or Sneasler’s help.

         “Hang on!” Rachel called out, an excited timbre to her voice as they neared the gap. With the grace only a Pokemon blessed by almighty Sinnoh could achieve, Wyrdeer leapt off the lip of the chasm below and soared over it, the woman steering him calling out and laughing all the while until they landed on the other side.

         Once they cleared the chasm, Rachel laughed mirthfully, throwing her head back and letting out a howl with Cedric with her heart and chest, just as Adaman and Mai had witnessed the first time Wyrdeer allowed Rachel to ride him. When he saw her then, he thought she was incredibly bizarre, if strangely endearing.

         But now, all he felt was pure endearment. “Hahahaha! Ohhhhhh wow, there’s nothing like a good dose of adrenaline to get the heart going. I’ll never get tired of that feeling.” Rachel went on through heavy laboured breathed. “I feel so alive!”

         Irida, however, was clinging onto Adaman so tightly that he was pretty sure she was going to be permanently stuck to him if she didn’t let go. “Hey, are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned for the Pearl Clan leader. “We made it across.”

         Taking deep breaths to calm herself down, Irida replied in a small shaky voice uncharacteristic of her. “Fine, fine. Just wasn’t expecting that. But I’m fine. We can keep going.”

         Raising an eyebrow, Rachel reached back to put a hand on the other woman’s. “Hey, you did well. You were very brave, back there.” She assured Irida, giving her a warm smile. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you. We can take it easy from here on out.” Reaching into her satchel, she pulled out the device that had been guiding her this whole way. “According to the Arc Phone, it’s a straight shot from here to where we need to be. So we can take it easy for the rest of the way. Would you prefer that?”

         Still clinging onto Adaman, Irida nodded fervently. “Please…if you don’t mind.”

         “It’s no trouble. It’d be poor form on my part to ignore the trepidations of my dear passengers.” Rachel teased as she went back to facing forward. Giving Cedric a pet on the head and reaching forward to pat Wyrdeer’s neck, she leaned forward to whisper to him. “Take us the rest of the way to Avalugg’s Legacy. At a leisurely pace, if you please.”

         Nodding, Wyrdeer talked forward on the ice, deliberately making his steps as even and smooth as possible so as to not further disturb the Pearl Clan leader on his backside.

         Taking another look at the screen on her Arc Phone, Rachel sighed. It frustrated her to no end that the leaders couldn’t see eye to eye on their theological beliefs. She couldn’t blame them too harshly for being mistaken, but it would be so difficult to prove that she was right. She at least got them to understand that they both worshipped the same deity that was almighty Sinnoh – the texts written on each of the plates given to her by each clan’s beloved Pokémon proved this – yet they were still convinced that one of them was right and the other was wrong.

         It just wasn’t possible for one of them to be right. They were either both right or both wrong, but it was impossible for one or the other to be right.

         “You know what the funny thing is?” Rachel asked, gesturing with her Arc Phone while Wyrdeer was leading the way, mentally making note of the icy Pokémon that inhabited this land. “I’m arguably the person who has the closest connection directly to almighty Sinnoh. This device was given to me before I fell through the rift and there’s no doubt in my mind that he communicates with me through it. But, whenever I need to ask him for something or I need to ask him for answers directly, he’s ever silent. All he does is beep at me and keep track of my proverbial to-do list and tell me where I need to go.”

         Getting more comfortable on Wyrdeer’s back, still clinging to Adaman (though not as tightly as before), Irida leaned over a bit to talk directly to Rachel. “Maybe it’s a part of the trial almighty Sinnoh has in store for you.” She suggested. “I think he wants you to demonstrate your own strength, which is why he doesn’t give you answers when you ask for them. You have to find them yourself, all he can do is show you where to find them.”

         Rachel rolled her eyes. She was never a fan of cryptic messaging and she couldn’t help but feel a sense of bitterness towards almighty Sinnoh for putting her in this position. Though, she held her tongue. Sinnoh obviously meant a lot to these people and she was in no position to disparage their deity to their faces. “The point I was trying to make is that it’s okay to admit you don’t have answers.” She clarified. “That you don’t know something. It’s not a weakness to admit that you’re human. Humans are inherently flawed, as all mortals are. We can only truly know so much, after all, and we can only do the best with the knowledge available to us at the time and the tools we have in the moment. It’s okay to be mortal. To be human. To be imperfect.”

         She smiled at both leaders behind her. “It’s what makes life worth living. That it’s complex and messy and imperfect.” Rachel turned her attention ahead. “After all, if there were no sorrow, we wouldn’t know what joy was. If we were always satisfied, we would have no drive to accomplish or desire anything. If we knew everything, we would have no reason to be curious. And I think a life without those things would be…empty.”

         “A life without spirit.” Irida punctuated, a smile in her voice.

         Rachel nodded in agreement. “Yeah…exactly.” As they continued their trek towards Avalugg’s Legacy, she couldn’t help but noticed that Adaman still had his arms wrapped around her waist and he had taken to resting his chin on her head. Smirking at him, she scoffed through her nose. “You don’t have to hold onto me, anymore. The hard part is over.”

         “I don’t mind.” Adaman replied, a smile in his voice as he spoke. “You’re comfortable. And warm.”

         “Oh, so it’s about sapping away my body heat, is it?” Rachel teased, laughing a little bit.

         Adaman was not immune to her playful nature, chuckling himself. “I can let go if it bothers you.”

         “No no, it doesn’t.” She said quickly, realizing what she had said and feeling her face start to grow warm under the cloth mask she was wearing. Thank almighty that her face was covered. “Just hang on a second…”

         Moving so that she was free from Adaman for a moment, she unwrapped the scarf that was around her neck and moved to wrap it around his. Once it was snugly tied, she nodded. “There, that should keep you warmer. I can’t stand the thought of watching you shiver like a Snorunt.”

         Her unashamed and relentlessly kind nature never ceased to catch Adaman off-guard. If he had a way to describe it, it would be recklessly kind. Rachel never held back what she thought or felt about a person if she believed in them. She never hesitated to stand up for someone if she felt they were being unfairly wronged, even (and especially) if the person they were disparaging was themselves.

         Adaman got a taste of that for himself the moment he showed weakness in the Crimson Mirelands, once Arezu’s plan was discovered. He showed one moment of doubt and Rachel was so quick to build him up and show him how much she believed in him and how much he should as well that it took him completely aback.

         Rachel was confident, strong, but gentle and kind. She was fierce in a way he had never known. Plain and simple, she was a force of change like nothing else and she proved it every single day.

         Satisfied that he was no longer freezing, Rachel checked her Arc Phone again. “We’re almost there.” She exclaimed to her passengers. “With enough luck, we’ll have this noble’s frenzy quelled before the day’s done.”

         “Rachel…?”

         An eerie echo across the ice made the woman tug on the handle of the saddle to halt Wyrdeer. She heard it, clear as day. Or at least…she thought she did. She knew that voice, she had to. She couldn’t place a name to it, but she knew that voice.

         She listened hard to try and catch it, again, eyes scanning the unforgiving landscape around them. “What’s wrong?” Adaman asked, immediately sensing her apprehension and having his hand on her shoulder for support.

         “I…I thought I heard…” No. It couldn’t be. It was impossible. It had to be her imagination. It had to be. “Nevermind. Let’s just keep –”

         “Rachel…?!”

         There! Again! And with the way Cedric’s ear twitched, trying to find the source of the sound, it confirmed that it wasn’t just in Rachel’s head. “You heard it too…”

         The Zorua nodded in confirmation.

         Moving to get off Wyrdeer, Rachel’s feet landed on the icy ground beneath them. The clan leaders were quick to follow her, Irida moving quickest to intercept Rachel. “Wait, we should keep going. I don’t think this is a good idea.”

         She appreciated the Pearl Clan leader’s desire to keep Rachel safe, but she couldn’t understand the situation Rachel was in. She couldn’t understand everything that she had lost that laid on the other side of the rift. Everything that she wanted nothing more than to find once more, even if she couldn’t remember all of it. “I have to find out what that is. If someone’s in trouble, I need to help them.” Rachel insisted, trying to walk past Irida in the direction of the sound. “And if I’m right and it’s someone I know, then…I have to find them.”

         “You don’t know what lies here.” Irida insisted, firmly standing in Rachel’s way to prevent her from leaving. “There are Pokémon here that are known to take the appearance of others, even mimicking their voices. Pokémon that look a lot like Cedric, but with white fur and eyes like the sun.” Her voice trailed off, her eyes looking towards the ground to avoid meeting Rachel’s gaze. “They lure them away and we’re lucky if they’re seen again.”

         Exchanging a glance with Cedric, he uncomfortably shuffled closer to his trainer. Rachel shook her head. “But what if it’s not that? What if someone really is in trouble and they need help?” She insisted, looking between Irida and Adaman, pleading silently for either of them – one of them – to back her up. “If there’s even a small chance, then I have to try.”

         “I think Irida’s right, Rachel.” Adaman said, looking between both women. “We don’t have a lot of time to spare right now and Avalugg’s frenzy is more pressing at the moment. We need to focus on that, for now.”

         She had a feeling he’d say that, but she was still disappointed nonetheless. Rachel knew that Irida was most likely right, but Rachel couldn’t take comfort in odds. Not when she knew that even unlikely odds were not zero.

         But she was outvoted, and she knew they were right. Avalugg was the priority. She could simply investigate on her own once she was more familiar with the Alabaster Icelands. She wouldn’t leave this stone unturned. “Alright, in that case we can walk the rest of the way there.”

         As Rachel moved to dismiss Wyrdeer and send him on his way, Cedric suddenly felt distant tremors echo across the ice. He felt them through his paws and when he looked around for the source, he saw it charging towards them.

         He alerted his trainer with a sharp bark and in an instant, Rachel moved into action. “ADAMAN, WATCH OUT!”

         It all happened so quickly. While Adaman had his back turned, he was suddenly pushed out of the way across the ice. Irida was laying on her side opposite from him, further away from him, and there was a long track indented into the ice trampled by footprints.

         Pokémon footprints.

         Irida was immediately on her feet, helping Adaman to his, but all the Diamond Clan leader was concerned about was their missing traveler from the sky. “Where’s Rachel?!”

         Gesturing towards where the line of disturbed snow led, Adaman couldn’t believe his eyes. Digging her feet into the ice beneath her, with both of her hands wrapped around the tusks of an enraged Piloswine was Rachel, having lifted it off the ground by its front half, leaving its front legs dangling helplessly. Never before in his life would he ever expect that anyone – much less someone Rachel’s size – would have the guts to get in the way of a charging Piloswine!

         But she had it by the tusks and was wrestling with it to keep it from getting traction to push her back further, roaring like he’d never heard her roar before. It was guttural like it came from deep within her chest up from her belly.

         Readjusting her grip, with a powerful wrench, she jerked it back and forth before practically throwing it onto its side, sending it sliding a good way across the ice, helplessly trying to scramble back to its feet. Other Pokémon that were nearby were watching, cowering behind snowbanks and otherwise piles of snow.

         Whilst it was down, Rachel pushed her foot onto its side to keep it on the ground. Adaman had never seen this side of her, before, and the look he exchanged with Irida said everything they were both thinking.

         This woman was a force of nature like nothing either of them had ever seen before.

         “Listen carefully…these two are with me.” Rachel snarled lowly at the helpless Piloswine. It was taking every ounce of control to not take out her anger on what was most likely an innocent Pokémon who felt threatened by strangers in its territory. It wasn’t its fault that it was a creature that had a territory to defend. But, Rachel had a duty to her companions as well.

         They were her territory to defend. “For any harm that comes to them, whether I’m with them or not, you and any Pokémon that dare hurt them will have to answer to me. Understood?”

         Frantically, the Piloswine nodded, flailing in a feeble attempt to try and get back onto its feet to escape the wrath of this deceptively strong, though still very small woman. It half expected to be gutted and killed for its meat when she rendered it helpless.

         But instead, she was showing it mercy, lifting her foot off of it and allowing it to get back up. “Good. Now get.” She ordered. As the Piloswine fearfully skittered away across the ice, Rachel whirled around at the audience of Pokémon that had gathered around her. “NOW! ALL OF YOU!”

         With another roar from deep within her belly, every last Pokemon in the vicinity skittered away, disappearing into the snow or simply running as far and as fast as they could so as to not incur the wrath of this human stranger who spoke their tongue.

         Once Rachel was sure there were no other Pokemon who were going to hurt the clan leaders, she let out a huge sigh of relief and relaxed. The wild and frenzied persona melted away instantly and her dark eyes were warm and soft like freshly dug earth as she returned to the pair she was traveling with. “Are you okay? That Piloswine nearly gored you!”

         “Me?!” Adaman exclaimed in utter disbelief. He could not believe this woman! Shaking his head, he had to laugh a little just to clear the tension in his chest from the worry. “You’re really something.”

         Cedric rushed up to meet Rachel, clambering up her leg to get to her shoulder. “Hey, I’m fine. Look at me, I’m fine. I’m standing here, aren’t I?”

         “You could’ve gotten seriously hurt!” Irida cried, rushing over to look Rachel over for injuries, taking special attention to her left arm due to the injury dealt by her clan’s Lord Kleavor before. “What were you thinking?!”

         Looking over at Adaman, giving him a onceover to make sure that he was uninjured, Rachel shrugged. “Adaman was in danger, so I acted.” She replied simply. “That’s all there is to it.”

         As the Diamond Clan leader stared at this five foot tall powerhouse, he didn’t know whether to congratulate her for doing something so impressive or scold her for doing something so stupid. “People from the future must be downright fearless.”

         Rachel shook her head. “No, just a me thing.” She dismissed, trying to shoulder past him so that they could move on and make it to Avalugg’s Legacy. They’d gotten in enough trouble already and the longer they stayed out here, the more daylight they were losing. “Come on, we’re almost there.”

         For a moment, Irida didn’t follow Rachel. The quiet stretched between them as the question lingered in the Pearl Clan leader’s mind unspoken, until she forced it to be spoken. “Isn’t there anything that you’re afraid of?”

         Rachel froze in place. She had to think about that, for a moment. What was she afraid of that hadn’t already happened? She’d already died once, so she wasn’t afraid of that anymore. She had already lost everyone she loved and cared for when she was sent back in time to ancient Hisui, save for Cedric.

         The woman’s shoulders sagged as she stayed in place. The silence stretched between them before she spoke, even Adaman not daring to break it for the sake of saving time. “It’s hard to be afraid of a lot of things when your worst fears have been realized over and over again.” She answered plainly, looking over at Cedric on her shoulder. Reaching over, she picked him up and held him in her hands, locking eyes with him before drawing him close and squeezing him against her chest. He was the only link she had to her past – the only piece of familiarity she could hold onto.

         The only thing she had left to lose. “The only thing that scares me, now…is not being able to protect the people I care about.”

         With her back turned to them, Adaman and Irida exchanged a look. They may not always agree or see eye to eye on a lot of things, but they both knew one thing they did agree on. They both grew to care very deeply about this stranger that fell from the sky.

         She was no stranger, anymore. She was a dear friend, special, irreplaceable, and invaluable. “Well, I’m glad you’re here.” Adaman said warmly, walking up and putting a hand on Rachel’s shoulder. “If it weren’t for you, I’d have been skewered.”

         Chuckling a little bit, Irida walked up on her other side and patted her other shoulder. “Come on, let’s go see Gaeric.”

         As Irida walked ahead, Adaman hung back and took his scarf off to give it back to Rachel. “You can have this back, now.”

         Looking at it, Rachel shook her head. Taking it, she draped it around his shoulders once more and tied it snugly. “No, keep it. It’s yours, now. You need it more than I do.” Raising an eyebrow with a hint of playful mischief, she leaned up (standing up on her toes to reach him) and mutter to him quietly out of earshot of Irida. “Besides, I like it better on you, anyway.”

         Smirking at her, Adaman walked away to follow Irida. Strangely enough, he didn’t feel the cold much, anymore. He felt warm, safe, and comforted. Something about the scent that lingered on the scarf brought a sense of peace and stability to him. It was wheaty, like freshly baked bread, but also wild like the smell of fields and flowers.

         It was unique to her. It brought him a sense of calm in a way nothing else did.

         For a moment, Rachel lingered, trying to see if she could hear the voice that echoed across the icelands. She needed to be sure she wasn’t making a mistake, that she wasn’t leaving someone to freeze that needed her help.

         Or, that it wasn’t someone from her past that needed her help now. That voice sounded painfully and achingly familiar and Rachel knew that she wouldn’t sleep well until she uncovered its source.

         But, alas, the tundra remained disappointingly silent, so she had no choice but to follow the clan leaders to the end of their destination. There were more important matters at hand, after all. They had a noble’s frenzy to quell, probably for the last time.

         Maybe afterwards, Hisui would finally know peace, again.

[musiconanironingboard]

14 August 2022: It’s Only Rock ’n Roll, The Rolling Stones. (1986 Rolling Stones/CBS reissue of 1974 Rolling Stones/Atlantic release)

Buying two Stones albums in a week is a lot for me, but sometimes circumstances just require such things. Believe it or not, somehow I had never owned this album in any format. This has long been the last Stones studio album I didn’t own, and I was constantly on the lookout for a good copy. Quite often, they have considerable wear. (And I should note: my Stones buying terminates after 1999. Anything they do in the current century feels more like product to me than viable new music, but technically I also do not own A Bigger Bang or Blue & Lonesome, their last two studio releases.)

This is an odd copy for me to buy, which I’ll explain in a moment, but It was in shrinkwrap and that goes a long way toward making me want to buy something. Buying this one was odd because it’s not an original pressing, which I would have preferred. In 1986, ownership of the post-1971 Stones catalog transferred from Atlantic to CBS. Under both corporate parents, the band’s music was released on the Rolling Stones Records imprint. I remember when CBS took over the Stones’ releases, and they all got reissued at once. It seemed very strange to me at the time to see these titles with CBS catalog numbers and the other bits of minutiae regarding CBS pressings that hardcore collectors will recognize. To me, these new versions were “phonies” (a term I have sometimes used to designate non-originals), and even though their existence meant a lot of Stones titles were now widely available, I avoided them because they weren’t originals. In 2022, I don’t give a damn, and it almost makes it more interesting to me to have a CBS version of one of these classic records, especially since I remember their genesis. (I should also note that the 1986 transfer to CBS was a separate circumstance from their pre-1971 catalog also being reissued on the ABKCO label, which I discuss in my previous Stones post.)

Above we see the front and back covers. I’d have liked to remove the shrinkwrap for this photo, but it’s so tight and old that it would rip to tatters if I tried to slip it off.

Below we see two hype stickers. First is a Stones sticker; when these reissues were rolled out, they all came with a sticker like this. Second is just a pricing-tier sticker, one that must have been short-lived because I barely recall ever seeing this sticker on anything.

These reissues did include the original inner sleeves, which is a good touch. Companies could be pretty cheap in the ’80s, and it was common for repressings to drop custom sleeves altogether.

Last, here is side one’s label.

I don’t remember what song it was, but I heard something from this album being played in the Wilmington, North Carolina, airport last July. I didn’t recognize the song, but I accurately guessed that it had to be from It’s Only Rock ’n Roll because I didn’t know what it was and it’s the only 20th century Stones album I haven’t heard! It will be a while before I get to this copy, so my Stones knowledge remains lacking in the meantime.

This, like the Who CD in the previous post, is another purchase from Bullseye Records in Milwaukee.

[cno-inbminor]

iterum vivere (childe/tartaglia)

a/n: wow, it’s been fucking forever. first genshin fic featuring childe/tartaglia!!! a very huge thank you to @suspensin​ for reading this over and being my rock and support, and i love her so fucking much. I couldn’t have finished this without her!

plot: reincarnation and modern/uni!au ft. afab reader!traveler with she/they pronouns x childe/tartaglia 

-- in which meeting childe is a bit of a dangerous game of push and pull

wc: 12.1k; angst + fluff

warnings:  DOES CONTAIN IN-GAME SPOILERS (1.5? 1.6? + story quest and idek) and NSFW MENTIONS (mdni to be safe). there’s no explicit smut but thoughts do run a bit wild here and there

EDIT: Altered ChiLumi version now posted on AO3 here!

“Haven’t we met before?”

The shine in your eyes does nothing to hide your curiosity, head even tilting a little in observation. He watches them scan his face for any recognizable features, but attempts to focus on the strange, taut string of déjà vu that pulls him toward you. In a moment of absentmindedness, he had heard a faint voice call out his name from your direction. Confusion overtook him as you weren’t looking at him, but something inside his brain said that it had to be from you. And so his feet redirected his path towards your figure in the student union building, as if on a mission.

“A fucking whale, Childe?”

Oh.

“I don’t think so…?” You trail off, curiosity now replaced by perplexed feelings. “Do we have a class together?”

I think I would’ve noticed you by now if you were.

“Ah, what’s your major?” Childe asks quickly to avoid listening to the little voice in his head.

“History and anthropology, you?”

“Economics, but I’ve taken a history course for core credits. Maybe it was then?”

“With Dr. Zhong?”

“Yes!” He snaps his fingers. Part of his brain decides to usefully function and scan his memories to see if he remembers your face or head of hair in the lecture hall then. “Last year? Tuesdays and Thursdays from 10 to 11:20?”

“Actually, yeah,” you affirm in surprise. You think you would remember the relatively attractive ginger in your class, but honestly, it had all been such a blur and you were often pretty sleepy during class. Dr. Zhong didn’t quite appreciate it, but you made up for it with your exam and essay grades, as well as paying better attention in some of his other courses.

“Did you need me for anything?”

“I’d like for you to come visit and meet my family.”

He’s really not appreciating this extra voice speaking for him.

“Well…uh…” Childe stammers and looks away sheepishly, hand rubbing the back of his neck. He honestly had no reason for approaching you, and now, he just looks like a desperate idiot. Think quick, he tells himself, floundering for some shitty excuse.

“I wanted to, uh, take another history course as an elective and um, wanted to know if you had any recommendations?”

“Oh,” you blink. That’s a first. When he meets your gaze, the swirling shades of sapphire strike something deep within you. Flashes of events you can’t make out go by in the blink of an eye, but then you realize you’ve been staring for too long. Blood rushes to your cheeks because you don’t exactly want this guy to get the wrong idea from you, because how are you supposed to explain, “I’m sorry, but I think we have met before, but just a really, really long time ago, and we might’ve been more than just acquaintances because that’s what it feels like?”

“I think you’d like Teyvat Mythology,” your voice wavers on the verge of cracking. “Dr. Zhong might have a TA this time around, but Xiao’s a great teacher. Doesn’t have long, rambling anecdotes, but explains things well and gets straight to the point.”

“C-cool, I’ll look into it,” Childe replies and smiles brightly. “I’ll head out then,” jabbing a thumb over his shoulder, where he just realized he left a grouchy Scaramouche waiting by a vending machine, newly purchased Starbucks Tripleshot drink in hand. “Nice seeing you, (y/n).”

He scurries off before you both realize that you never told him your name.

“Who’s that?” Scaramouche asks, jutting his chin in your vague direction.

“Someone from my Intro to Liyuean History course last year,” Childe waves off. “Come on, let’s go before the line at the pasta bar gets too long.”

-

The next time you see Childe is by accident, traversing across an open field of grass that many students like to sit out on to relax with friends, sunbathe, hold events, or play casual team sports if room permits.

You had your earbuds in and were scrolling through social media when laughter rang above all other sound, causing your head to snap up and swivel around to find the source. And while it might’ve been strange to an outsider, your steps immediately slowed as you watched the man of your tiring, vivid dreams sprint in your direction, eyes pinned on a frisbee heading towards him.

He’s wearing a grey sports tank and basketball shorts, headband holding back his bangs as he makes a slight jump in the air to catch the plastic disc between his palms. His feet plant into the grass as he looks for someone to pass it to, and you watch (with embarrassment) the muscles in his throwing arm relax and tighten with practice, frisbee steadily soaring through the air in a beautiful arc towards a teammate. He then lightly jogs to get closer to his group, but then his back stiffens.

Before your instincts kick in for you to turn and bail, he looks over his shoulder and stares straight at your now stunned self.

The sole ruby earring that glints in the sunlight catches your attention, and you recall your dreams of terrifyingly dark, violet electric power, blades of water rushing toward you, and then the stomach-churning sensation of falling from great heights pours concrete into your veins—

Childe looks a little amused for having your sole focus, hand lifting up for a quick wave. And as you numbly return the greeting, your heart beats out, “Run from him.”

And so with the flight response pulsing and firing from your synapses, you abruptly speed walk away, almost breaking out into a sprint towards your dorm. You ignore his pointed, confused look, and pretend you don’t feel the two holes of imaginary fire searing into your back. It isn’t until you’re laying back in bed that you release a huge sigh of relief and pray to a deity you don’t believe in that those eyes of mirth will not haunt you tonight.

But of course, with a deity that doesn’t exist, the prayers go unanswered.

-

“Do you believe in any of the mythology you teach?” You ask Xiao about a few days later when you stop by his cubicle. Luckily, no one else is around for this conversation, and Xiao has always been kind enough to humor your thoughts. Granted, he might feel obligated because you had asked Dr. Zhong to be your advisor for your undergraduate Honors thesis, and Xiao was directed to be your receiver of some general questions and source of information if he wasn’t around.

A quick scan of your complexion tells Xiao everything he needs to know. Your eyes are overtaken with rumination and exhaustion, haziness clouding them as you seem to ponder over your own question. It’s not often that you ask him anything not related to your thesis or coursework.

“Perhaps there’s some sense and truth to the tales passed down,” he softly muses. “What makes you ask?”

You lift yourself to sit on the clean area next to his computer, legs slowly swaying back and forth. “It might sound crazy but...I’ve been having dreams lately. They feel too real, too natural to be anything that my mind would make up. I’ve never had the most creative imagination by any means, which is why there’s some comfort to me being a history major, but I can’t shake these.”

“So why ask me about the mythology?”

“...the Archons are there. I even dreamt that I met the Geo and Anemo Archons. And they controlled various elements, just like we were taught.”

You don’t notice that Xiao has ceased his rapid typing, fingers hovering over the keyboard before one hand removes his glasses from his face. He uses the other to rub his eyes and softly pinch the bridge of his nose before sliding the frames back on. Dark, golden amber eyes survey you as you grapple with the unfathomable possibilities of your nightly visions, at least until you shake your head in disbelief at yourself and lightly scoff.

“Who am I kidding?” You ask no one in particular. “Maybe I’ve been doing too much research and everything’s mixing together.”

“You’re ahead of schedule, if that provides any consolation.”

“Some.”

-

It takes Childe a grand total of one minutes and 53 seconds to sign up for Teyvat Mythology for the spring semester.

-

WInter in Liyue is only slightly miserable, being so close to the ocean. It’s chillier than usual on this dreary day, yet something compelled you to exit your dorm and shakily make your way to the campus coffee shop for a warm drink. Coffee, hot chocolate, you haven’t quite decided yet, but just as you let yourself bask in the warm building, familiar ginger hair and blue eyes wash away the comfort.

Or do they douse you in security?

They remind you of your recent dreams that now have shifted away from stress and violence to easygoing summer days by the oceanside, running barefoot in the sand while collecting beautifully patterned azure starconches. Sometimes, you thrust a hand towards an oversized four-leaf clover on a wooden stake with the power of wind and catch yourself in the air, soaring and looking around to find more of the little shells. Other nights, they consist of climbing steep cliffs, only to sit at the edge in the clouds with fatigue wracking through your system and marvel at the view before you.

Someone’s always with you though, ruby earring and maroon mask and cobalt blue gem hanging from the waist, sprinting with you, playfully tackling you down, pulling you up towards mountain peaks, laying their head on your shoulders, brushing their lips against your cheek--

You welcome the change of peace in those dreams, but only because they don’t leave you quite as tired the next day, as if you’d been avoiding an inescapable dark force.

Part of you wants the burning question of why this person, this man, in all his glory and brightness, affects you so fucking much when you barely even know the guy -- why looking at him sends your heart to lodge itself in your esophagus, why your lungs feel like they’re so close to being completely collapsed under the weight of his stare, why feeling like you’re trapped and  caught between wanting to run towards yet away from him.  It makes no sense, and you’re tired of trying to make sense of anything you don’t exactly want to remember from your dreams for some, once again, inexplicable reason.

But there’s no time to think as he quickly ambles towards you, your own feet shuffling forward to meet him in a warped reference of a distance that constitutes to “the middle” before you can stop yourself. Your shivering hasn’t quite stopped yet, and Childe seems to take notice of it.

“Pretty cold out there,”  he softly states. It’s cute, the way you’re curling in on yourself to retain some warmth.

“Y-yeah, not sure why I decided I really needed something warm to drink right now,” you reply and avoid his gaze. He watches you peer over his shoulder to squint at the menu display hanging from the ceiling, seemingly contemplating on what you should get.

“How about I get yours today? My treat for your class recommendation last time.” Anything to keep you here longer. Childe doesn’t realize how much he’s missed you, which confuses him, and chooses to ignore the fact that he’d been camping himself at the study tables in the building where the history department is located in hopes of even just catching a quick glimpse of you.

“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” you immediately attempt to subvert his generous offer, hands shooting out from your jacket pockets and waving in rejection. “It was nothing.”

“Please?” Childe puts on his best puppy eyes before reaching for one of your wrists, gently tugging you to the register. “Just this once?”

You want so badly to squash the tiny flare of disappointment that erupts in your chest from the newly acquired knowledge that this was just a one time thing. Do econ majors hate to feel in debt? That they must be even with everyone, or would rather have people indebted to them than the other way around?

There’s no time to think when Childe gives the cashier his order before turning to you, and without wanting to waste anyone’s time, you rattle off your usual beverage. He’s quick in fishing out his student ID to spend some of his campus currency, shooting you a boyish grin when you pout at your half-opened wallet.

“Go take that table over there,” he says, pointing to one in the corner by some windows. “I’m gonna tell my friends to go on without me.”

“I didn’t mean to intrude or pull you away from them,” you slightly panic. The sooner you can leave, the better. Right? “You don’t need to sit with me, I was just gonna head back to my dorm.”

“I insist. Go ahead, I’ll be right there.”

Why your brain takes his orders over your own is a mystery in and of itself, because before you know it, you’re plopped down in one of the lounge seats and staring off into space, mind reeling over the last two minutes. You pretend you can’t hear the way Childe’s friends nudge his arm playfully with their shoulders, wiggling their eyebrows suggestively as Childe tries to get them to stop being nonsensical.

“You’re gonna scare them off,” he hisses at them, hands pushing at their backs so they could finally leave him to his devices.

“Not before you do!” One of them laughs and Childe groans at their antics. “All right, all right, we’ll go. They’re cute though, might steal them if you don’t make a move.”

The darkening of the aura surrounding Childe is too quick for them to fully process, not before he dampens any of their fleeting hopes with a, “Don’t even fucking think about it.”

But it disappears just as fast when his and your drinks are called out, and he gives them one last shove before retrieving your to-go cups. Childe directs all his focus towards the seat diagonally from yours as opposed to the one that’s straight across, and you’re sharply ripped away from whatever reverie you let yourself slip into.

“Thank you,” you murmur, hands cupping the drink and feeling the heat seep into your fingertips. “You really didn’t have to, it was nothing big.”

“Can you blame me for just trying to find an excuse to finally talk to you?” He asks without a skip and you can’t tell if the quickening of your heartbeat is from a looming sense of doom or excitement. Those eyes, the tiny swirls of the ocean, blue like those shells buried in the sand--

It takes three seconds too long for you to understand where he was going with in his words, and part of you feels unamused at his smooth talking. You’ve always guarded yourself against guys like Childe, devilishly handsome who know their way around language semantics, ready to pull you in and just as ready to push you away. That (possibly unfair) bias, coupled with everything else you’ve been feeling for him, sounded the alarms and set the walls up around your heart. Perhaps you need to stop wearing your heart on your sleeve, because Childe immediately retracts his forwardness.

“I’m sorry, I don’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I promise I’m not looking for anything in return and you don’t owe me anything, but I really did just...want to sit and talk and...get to know you?” Childe trails off a little towards the end. Your body loosens up and relaxes just a tiny bit, feeling bad for your snap judgment. Let the guy do something nice, don’t look into it too much, you tell yourself. It’s a coffee, not a five-course dinner.

You reach out a hand towards him, small smile across your lips, ready for his to join yours in a quick handshake. “I’m (y/n), senior history and anthropology double major. It’s nice to meet you.”

The pounding of your heart against your ribcage has nothing to do with the shimmering of his eyes, nothing to do with the fact that his hand fits with yours just right, and nothing to do with the fact that an eerily similar voice from your dreams whispers, “I love you.”

You learn a number of things about Tartaglia in the four hours, like his family members and their respective interests, which classes he did and didn’t enjoy taking, certain takes on Schnezhnayan politics, his own various hobbies, crazy accidents from the occasional college parties, and more. He’s a bit of an open book, probably telling you way more than any regular person would, and definitely more than anything you revealed during all this time. Everything you tell him seems surface level, nothing too deep. The walls are still there to protect you from the unexplainable, profound feelings his presence seems to elicit, and luckily, he doesn’t prod any further. Childe feels the resistance and respects it, which just adds more brownie points in your book, and you almost feel bad for having given so little in return.

“I wish we were taking Teyvat Myth together,” he sighs when walking you back to your dorm, hands stuffed in his pockets. His ruby earring catches the light from the sunset, the shade almost complimentary to the golden amber rays that streak across the sky. “Would’ve helped having a history major in there.”

“Is that all I am to you, an answer bank?” You jokingly ask, but he watches concerningly as you shoot your gaze to the ground, mindfully stepping over the cracks between concrete slabs.

“Of course not,” a gentle sincerity reaches you, giving you the confidence to make eye contact with him. “I’m sorry for making it sound like that, it wasn’t my intention. I really just meant it as a way of saying if the professor or TA ended up being a total bore, then well, having you would make it more fun.”

“I’m sure I’d bore you even more,” chuckling, speeding up to get away. You’re growing too comfortable in whatever atmosphere Childe has created, like an enclosed air bubble bobbing gently in the depths of the sea and letting the waves carry you both to whichever ends of the earth.

“Hey,” he interjects, hand reaching out to stop you with a soft yank of your wrist. There is no resisting force from you, feet stepping backward until he meets you eye to eye. It’s unfair in the way that he can render you motionless by standing just an inch from you, arms brushing with his head tilted closer to your own. “Seriously, I’m glad we did this today. Are you?”

No, because now I don’t know what to think, I don’t know who you are, I’m not any closer to figuring out why you terrify yet leave me so enamoured with you, I’m torn between punching and kissing you and--

“Yes,” you subconsciously answer, brain immediately short-circuiting to scold yourself. “I had fun.”

His grin, charming, devilish, is so so bright, bright enough to rival the Liyue sun that sits on the pier, on the edge of the ocean, bright enough to rival the love that your fraternal twin showers you with on a daily basis. You want time to stop right here because you’re almost sick of the voice settled deep within your heart that screams, “Don’t get comfortable, you must run from him!”

“Good. Let’s do this again?” And you nod, of course you do. Foolish you. “Don’t be a stranger!” He calls out as he turns on his heel and waves over his shoulder, hand raised in the air, and you’re suddenly transported to another scene, a less refined version of the Liyue Harbor, watching as the head of ginger hair with a red mask in a flashier attire of grey and maroon walks away from you and onto a roaring, magnificent ship; big, ivory sails only seen in books and museums. It’s the same gesture of “see you later”, and just before he turns, you blink, and you’re back to seeing your campus again.

But Childe does look back once, warm and content that you’re still standing there, watching over him, and he can’t help but think about when he can spend time with you again, because suddenly, it truly feels like there’s not enough of it anymore.

-

“Excuse me, what’s a Red Bull?”

The last thing, or person rather, you expect to see on the last day of finals for the fall semester, is a small boy who looks way too young to be here, tugging on the sleeve of your windbreaker. He’s at most eleven, ten maybe, but he has eerily similar characteristics, as well as an accent that doesn’t quite belong to most Liyue natives. Still gathering your bearings from your own perusing of the fridges that hold all the possible beverages a college student could consume, you kneel down until you’re at eye level with the child.

“Repeat that for me? Are you looking for a Red Bull, you say?”

“Yes!” He beams and holds out a student ID that most definitely doesn’t belong to him. “My brother asked me to grab him one because he was busy with something.”

Your eyes flit over to the top shelves where the aforementioned cans of caffeine are located, and definitely too high for someone of his height to reach. “I’ll grab one for you. Did he ask for a specific flavor?”

“Nope, he said regular. Thanks, you’re really nice! Do you know my brother?” He asks, waving the ID at you so you can get a better look at the name. That’s definitely a face you recognize, but the name leaves you confused.

“Yeah, um,” glance over again, “I know...Ajax…”

“He’s the best toy seller in the whole world!”

Somehow, it suits him much better than Childe or Tartaglia, and you’re not quite sure what toys have anything to do with the matter at hand. Speaking of hands, the little boy grabs yours in sheer delight. “Can you take me back to his room? I kinda forgot the directions he told me, and everything’s so big around here.”

“Sure, just let me buy something, too, and I’ll take you.”

“Okay!”

The cashier isn’t the least bit fazed by the little brunette at your side -- it’s always common for family members to come in around the end of semesters to pick up kids or visit, and being an open building with snacks and drinks and a stopping point of most tours, they’ve seen it all. You even let him pick out a bag of chips and a candy bar for himself for being so polite and not a complete menace, paying with your own campus currency.

Teucer, as you’ve learned in the last two minutes, likes to point out things and ask you questions. Luckily, you have answers to most of them and do your best to pad the time, enjoying the feeling of a tiny hand wrapped around three of your fingers. It’s sweet to any normal passerby, believing they’re witnessing an older sister doting on their little brother around the holidays, but to Childe, seeing the tender sweetness on your face as you nod along to whatever Teucer is rambling about to you, sets his heart aflame. He’s already constantly on the verge of wanting to hug and kiss you and never let go, but you haven’t made any indication that you could potentially like him back, and this is just torture.

“Look what they bought me!” Teucer shoves his rewards in Childe’s face as if he had extremely poor eyesight, and you can’t help but laugh a little as you set his Red Bull down on his desk, clutching your own preferred beverage while looking around his room. Finals must have gotten to him with the unusual lack of tidiness in the small space, some laundry strewn here and there, a couple boxes of eaten microwave dinners in the metal wire trash can, some textbooks left open and marked with more sticky notes than you’ve ever seen. You’d only been here once before to drop off some food that he desperately messaged you about, stuck doing a project that he just couldn’t step away from.

“Pretend you don’t see the mess,” Childe pleads, handing a kid tablet to his brother but holding on before Teucer can take it. “What do you say to our nice friend here for buying you these snacks?”

“Thank you!”

“It was nothing,” you shyly smile, ruffling his hair. “I enjoyed meeting you.”

“Wait, what’s your name again?”

“It’s (Y/n).”

“Okay, (y/n)! Wait…(y/n)..as in…”

Teucer trails off and gives a look to his brother, one that spells curiosity and trouble, before he grabs your hand and pulls you into a corner. Any movement Childe makes to leave his desk chair is immediately squashed by Teucer’s disapproval, and the older man is left to helplessly worry when you’re told to squat down so secrets can be whispered into your ear.

“He talks about you a lot whenever he calls home,” and you want to laugh at Tecuer’s attempt to sound as scandalous as possible. “All the time! I think he likes you, like, like like.”

Oh. Oh dear.

“What makes you say that?” You whisper back, indulging both yourself and him, yet also internally snickering at how troubled Childe looks.

“Sometimes, he video calls mama, but we’ll all sit around and talk, and whenever he’s talking about how he saw you or something, he just looks...happy. Really happy.”

The surprise on your face does nothing to settle Childe’s nerves and he’s about to start wringing his hands together. Whatever Teucer was telling you couldn’t be good, probably embarrassing, like the one time he unceremoniously fell on his ass while ice skating over a frozen lake, or when he tried fitting fifteen marshmallows in his mouth and nearly choked on them when their mother caught them in the act, or--

“I think he just thinks of me as a good friend,” you try to inform Teucer, not letting yourself get any semblance of hope. “Nothing more, nothing less.”

“If you say so,” Teucer pouts. But then he stops whispering and bounds over back to his brother, grabbing the tablet before plopping down on the half-made bed.

“Look, I was overconfident and thought I could execute a perfect single loop on the ice, but there was a rock and I lost balance and--”

“I wasn’t being told any stories about you falling on ice, but do tell me more,” you chuckle and take some joy in watching the blush spread across his cheeks. It’s easy to tell that he’s mentally berating himself for jumping to conclusions.

“Well, first off, thanks for buying him all that, and my drink, too,” he sighs. “I spoil him enough as it is.”

“I can see why it’s hard not to,” you smile knowingly. “So is it just him here? Where’s the rest of your family?”

“Funny story, he somehow managed to convince my parents to let him come here on his own as his first ever plane flight, so I had to pick him up yesterday from the airport. He’s flying back with me tomorrow.”

“And the RA?” You ask with an eyebrow raised.

“Ah...well...what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him? Speaking of, what was Teucer whispering to you about?”

There’s a pensiveness that overtakes you when you look at Teucer again, who’s happily playing some sort of game and completely oblivious to the rest of his surroundings. You won’t, can’t, take his words to heart, and will take them with a grain of salt at most.

“Nothing important. Although I did learn something new...Ajax?”

“Say my name -- fuck, say it, please--”

“I guess cat’s out of the bag,” he chuckles and looks away, absolutely unaware of the flare of heat that swirls in your stomach from the fleeting vision just now. “I came up with other nicknames as a kid to seem cooler, and they just stuck with me. Plus, the business world is full of people who just want something from you, or just a transactional relationship. I’d rather not give my real name to them, if you know what I mean.”

“That’s fair,” you nod and lean to sit on the edge of his desk. A thought pops into your head and you turn the words over in your head like a washing machine on the spin setting, teeth gnawing on the flesh of your bottom lip. If Teucer hadn’t been in the room, he would’ve been this close to kissing you.

“But if it’s worth anything,” your voice slowly, softly starts, cautious and wary of your thoughts. “I think...Ajax suits you best.”

Curse fate. Curse the legendary Archons. Curse karma and deities and spirits because all he wants to do right now is stand and tower over you, trap you between himself and his desk so you can’t escape, take those pretty lips between his until they’re bruised and swollen because of him, hear you call out his name in the throes of pleasure so he can finally replace his fantasies with tangible memories. The unnatural, magnetic pull that draws him to you is unbearable now -- he feels like he’ll lose the last tendrils of his sanity if he doesn’t do something.

You can’t stop him from slowly reaching out to grab one of your hands, lifting it towards him until he’s close enough for you to feel his breath ghost over your knuckles. It sends a shiver down your spine and blood is pounding in your ears because you can’t begin to fathom what he’s thinking about while doing this, even more so when his lips make contact with your skin and your breath hitches, stuck in your throat as he languidly peeks at you beneath his eyelashes with a heated gaze, then lowly confessing, “My name sounds best when you say it.”

Good heavens.

It’s difficult to swallow and keep your composure, especially when Teucer yells out in glee over, what you can assume, beating something in his game, and Childe drops your hand. But his dilated pupils don’t retract in the slightest, refusing to let you look away so that maybe, you can understand what he’s trying to convey to you. He’s taking the first step because he’s terrible and can’t contain his self-control anymore, pushing the ball into your court, ready for you to either play or exit into the sidelines.

When you do blink, there’s a vision of your naked body wrapped around another, limbs clinging desperately to a sturdy and panting frame. Lips, much like the ones that have seared themselves onto your knuckles, are at your neck and sucking, biting, before moving to your ear and laying filthy words into them that drive you closer to the edge. It all happens so fast that you feel you’ve just experienced whiplash, yet also feeling secondhand embarrassment at how lewd some of these thoughts have been.

You can’t stay here any longer.

“I-I have to go,” spills off your tongue before you can really think about it. The way the haze shatters in his eyes is heartbreaking in its own way, but there’s no time for you to explain. Your brain is in overdrive and eager to run, run, run. It detects danger on all fronts, but you muster out a, “H-have a good break, come find me next semester, mmk?”

And you’re out the door with inhuman speed. When the door clicks shut, only then does Teucer look up from his screen and frown at the lack of your presence. “Where’d they go?”

Chlide doesn’t seem to hear him, and Teucer has never seen his big brother look so sad and confused before.

-

He holds on to that last tendril of hope, because mark his words, he will find you come January.

-

After about a week at home, enjoying the festive time with his family and mildly unconcerned about next year’s courses because that was a problem for another day, Childe has his first, crazy, nonsensical dream.

At least, that’s what he tells himself when he snaps awake and his body aches with exhaustion. Not only are his joints in agony, he also feels like he’s sporting unforeseen bruises, which makes absolutely no sense because he hasn’t done anything that would warrant them, no matter how much he and his brothers do some rough-housing. His night of sleep was all consumed by flashes and scenes of weapon fighting, lucid enough to remember feeling his arms flex and wield bows and double-headed polearms and being cognizant of all the enemies??? surrounding him. They ranged from deranged looking monsters, floating beings with soulless masks, and large humans in electricity-padded armor, to behemoth machines in the sky that could leave you within an inch of your life thanks to a drill for a hand?!

But what’s even worse is that you seem to have managed a deal with Morpheus himself and infiltrated his dreams. You were there, too, sometimes fighting with him, sometimes against him, much to his dismay, and while it was nice, he just didn’t get it. Why the friendliness and hostility? Why was there an anger that overtook him when looking directly at you, parrying your blade and sending harmful arcs of water toward your figure?

Why did he relish the fear in your eyes when he darted towards you with electricity cracking through the air?

There’s an overwhelming sensation now to grab his phone to text you and apologize -- for what, he can’t fathom and there are no words to accurately convey what he’s thinking. “Hey, sorry for wanting to kill you in my dream :( “? Or “Sorry for being a friend but then stabbing you in the back, but then being nice to you again”?

And the only thing that really made sense was the serenity and contentment that would course through his veins as the two of you danced around on ivory sandy beaches, picking up shiny blue starconches and taking down more weird creatures; the breathlessness when you would fall back into the water and re-emerge to reconfirm his beliefs that you were one of the most beautiful humans he’d ever laid his eyes on; the love--

Hold the fuck up.

He doesn’t love you. He likes you a whole lot and he’s severely and deathly attracted to you, but he doesn’t love you. Your existence has only been made known to him for about two months, and he didn’t really start talking to you until three weeks in. So no matter how comfortable he feels with you, no matter how much he wishes that you were sleeping peacefully next to him so his nights wouldn’t feel so lonely, it was too early, too hasty, to say that he loves you.

“I’ve been wondering, why didn’t you bring them home?” His mother asks him out of nowhere during breakfast, all to add to this extremely tumultuous roller-coaster morning he’s been having. All he wants to do is eat his bowl of milk and cereal, then potentially go back to sleep before fulfilling his promise to go with his siblings to the nearby skating rink. It takes everything in him to not choke on his spoon of grains.

“Agreed, didn’t you mention they didn’t really have any family to go back to and that the move to Liyue was semi-permanent?” His father chimes in, laying a quick peck on his wife’s temple. “It’s never fun to spend the holidays alone.”

“They would’ve felt like they were intruding,” Childe replies quietly, stabbing his bowl a few times before scooping up another spoonful of cereal to his mouth. “I know we’re friends, but we haven’t known each other for that long, and maybe they’d be uncomfortable because that’s a lot honestly…”

“You don’t know until you try,” his mother sings and pats him on the shoulder. “We do have a guest room after all.”

“For them and their twin?”

“And quite a comfortable futon with enough blankets.”

Childe smiles fondly at his parents’ kindness. He can only imagine what this winter break would’ve been like now -- you and your twin floating around, trying to help out with certain chores, sitting by the fireplace and watching TV, huddled up with mugs of hot chocolate, playing board games with everyone and engaging in all the shenanigans…

Laughing. Loving. Grinning. Basking.

Handing over one of his hoodies to you as a sick way of torturing yet blessing himself for seeing how lovely you look in his clothes, standing silently in the doorway as you attempt to help out with mealtimes next to his mother, watching you run around in the backyard and dodging his siblings’ snowballs while lodging a few of your own -- how wonderful it all would be.

But he squashes it down as quickly as possible, because you escaped his grasp. You ran away from his advances temporarily and even though you gave him permission to seek you out come the spring semester, he worries that you might take it back. Something will wake up inside of you to keep him out of your heart and your life, and he’s not confident enough at this point to believe there’s a good chance you will come spend the holidays with him and his family next year.

“Maybe next year, ma,” he sends her a hesitant, yet somewhat broken purse of his lips that’s just the least bit curved. It tells her everything he’s thinking, and the quick patting of his cheek lets him know she understands.

Half an hour later, Childe finds himself curled up on his side under the sheets, phone in hand as he stares at a blinking cursor. It shouldn’t be so hard to send a text to convey his holiday greetings, because that’s all it is -- part of him is becoming desperate and aching for some interaction with you, even if it’s just a text sent back for conventional social pleasantries. He’ll take it for now, right?

Before he can totally chicken out, his thumbs quickly type a, “Happy Holidays, (y/n) :)”, and it’s a little embarrassing how quickly after he hits the ‘send’ button that he tosses it over his shoulder so he’s not directly looking at it anymore. His heartbeat is too quick and he prays for no phantom vibrations or phantom sound notifications to avoid any disappointment of thinking he got a reply. It was a harmless text, yet he’s treating it like he just got assigned on a mission to go and murder someone for the first time. What will he do if you never text him back? Does that mean you really don’t want to talk to him? Are you dead in a ditch somewhere? Did you change numbers and not tell him? Did your twin get all the details and make the executive decision to block his number? Will he never get a chance to talk to you again, even if it’s about something in the Teyvat Mythology class next semester? Will you--

His shoulder screams in protest when he quickly flips himself over at the text notification sound, hands shakily unlocking his phone and opening up your conversation again. His heart rate significantly decreases, reaching back to its normal pace, especially as he reads the little words on his screen.

“Happy Holidays, Ajax ^^”

There is hope.

-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”

You’re huddled under the comforter of your twin’s bed, phone just peeking above the edge as you stare at it with a brightness in your eyes. For the most part, you had been sulking there, apart from meals and going back to your own room to sleep, and mentally berating yourself for the way you reacted to Childe the week before.

“He just texted me to say happy holidays,” shrugging to put on a facade of indifference. It’s stupid that you’re trying to hide your feelings from your twin of all people, who could pick apart and identify your emotions in a heartbeat. A roll of his eyes lets you know that you haven’t fooled him at all.

“So you think that whatever comment he made, which was very suggestive and indicative of clearly non-platonic feelings, was just something...friendly? Remind me again how you came to that conclusion?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking!” You whine, looking around to see if there was anything you could toss at him. “It’s just, with everything, all the dreams and stupid gut feelings, I just -- I don’t know, okay?? I can’t tell you enough how much I wish I had just kissed his stupid face and see where it goes from there.”

“Okay, gross, but don’t beat yourself up. Though...I do have a good idea on how to maybe get a good reaction out of him. You wanna go to the New Years’ celebration at Xiangling’s?”

“I think she’d threaten me with a knife if I didn’t. She wanted to go shopping at some point, too.”

“I’ll drop the overprotective brother act for one night, okay? One night, just to let this happen, and for your peace of mind.”

He does a fair amount of conspiring with Xiangling, a friend they met one time at a restaurant a couple years ago, even tagging along on the shopping trip. Together, the three of you find yourself a dress that Xiangling swears would make any person drool over you, including Childe, because at the end of the day, he was a person with the possibility of being attracted to you.

You think it’s a bit silly, but honestly, what do you have to lose at this point?

-

At 11:57PM on New Years’ Eve, Childe is standing outside in the freezing cold with his family, arms lifting up bags of sparklers and fireworks. They’ve driven out closer to the wild like they do every year, and everybody excitedly gets lighters ready, making sure someone’s got a clock out there that tells the seconds. As the younger kids open up the packaging and argue over which one to set off first, Childe’s phone vibrates in his coat pocket.

It’s 11:58PM when he manages to fish the device out and thank himself for buying gloves that are touch-screen friendly, excited to see that there are two texts from you, the latter reading, “Happy New Year!”. It doesn’t matter that you’re a little early, but he’s mainly intrigued by the fact a photo came before it. In his mind, you’re probably curled up with your twin brother, hopefully a selfie because wow, he misses your face.

He gets something else instead, and he is so glad that it’s dark outside and the electric lamp they have is too far away from him to draw any attention.

You have your arm around your brother’s waist and another girl’s that he doesn’t recognize, but it’s a full frontal view of your outfit, one that hugs your curves beautifully and shows more cleavage than he’s ever seen from you, sophisticated and elegant, yet fun and leaving enough to the imagination. There’s a bright smile coming from all of you, and you look like you’re at someone’s house or apartment with plenty of other people milling around in the back, but they don’t matter, not when all he can focus on is you.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, arousing, mind blowing, and gods, he wishes he could teleport to Liyue at this moment, find you, and kiss you right at midnight. Fuck the fact that he doesn’t exactly believe in superstitions like, “Kissing your significant other at midnight means you’ll last forever!” but he’s willing to take the chance with it on this night and the ones after, if he’s allowed. He tries not to think too much about pinning you against the wall and letting the world dissolve -- wants to be the one with the privilege to drag down that zipper and feel his bare skin on yours, and --

As Teucer starts yelling there’s only a minute left, he instinctively locks his phone and shoves it away out of anyone’s view. The last thing he needs is his family teasing him about ogling at your photo for a straight 50 seconds, wide-eyed and pupils on the verge of dilating, the visible breath leaving his mouth just a smudge more dense and prominent than usual.

The only thing he can do to distract himself from popping a boner in front of his parents is to join in on the countdown, making sure all the fireworks are set up correctly and grabbing a sparkler for himself. He waves it around with Tonia and promises to fulfill her wishes of taking one of those pictures right as she draws a pattern in the air. Their excitement is palpable and addicting, and even though the larger fireworks set off a few seconds after midnight hits, the nostalgia fills his lungs with fond memories and future wishes that they only continue this tradition for as long as possible, and hopefully, with you at his side.

-

When it’s 12:04AM, you get a picture message back of Childe bundled up in a black paletot coat, matching beanie and all, a gloved hand holding a sparkler and lips curved upwards, with a caption that says, “Happy New Year’s! See you soon :)”. You show it to Xiangling and your brother, both taking it as a win in their books, although the former does tipsily protest that there should be a better indicator of Childe’s brain breaking at how amazing you look right now. Maybe she’s prophetic, because another text chimes in and the words set you aflame, as well as suggestive whoops into your ears.

It’s a simple, “You look incredible btw”.

If you didn’t want to properly savor this moment, you would’ve found the nearest shot of the strongest liquor and tossed it back with abandon. But you want to remember the warmth in your veins that wasn’t from the alcohol or the heating, the fluttering of your heartbeat, the teeth-baring grin that you couldn’t fight off, the constant re-reading of those four words -- because they’re so different from everything you had been feeling before with him, the need for protection, the need to escape. Instead, you’d like to be in his arms right now and see for yourself how he’d look at you in this moment, and if he would take any action.

You want him to. So, so bad.

-

Childe spends his last week at home hating the fact that you’re just sitting around somewhere in Liyue, doing whatever you’re doing, probably doing some light preparation for your last semester of classes, and he’s not there to take advantage of all this free time and hang out with you. When classes start, it’ll be busy and hectic. You still have your thesis to finish and revise, and while that won’t eat up all your time, it’s still some that he’d want to fill in with his presence if he could. He debates whether or not he should ask for your schedule and compare it with his, maybe set up meetings every other day or propose that they all eat one meal together every day. Childe’s not quite sure of what you plan to do after graduation, as it hasn’t come up in conversation yet, but either way, he’s determined to stay in contact and make things work out. Long distance isn’t ideal, but with technology now, he’ll take it.

He feels a little bad for how excited he probably looked to be leaving home, uncharacteristic for the most part. His older siblings have already gone back to their respective homes, and it’s mainly Teucer and Tonia that worry and tear up when he starts packing his belongings. Tonia finds it unfair that Teucer got to meet you first and the latter makes sure to rub it into everyone’s faces. It’s hard for Childe to sleep on the plane because he’s thrumming with excitement, yet somehow even more nervous than usual when the plane hits small bouts of turbulence, and he doesn’t seem to relax until he sets foot back on campus.

He’s here. It’s January, and you’re physically closer to him than ever in the last two weeks.

-

“Found you.”

On the first day of classes, you’re sitting alone with some salad greens in a bowl, poking your fork at some scraps while you watch something on your phone, earbuds in and back towards the entrance of the canteen. It would explain the unannounced entrance of the very person who’s been at the forefront of nearly every thought in the last 96 hours, his fingers gingerly removing an earbud to surprise you as best as possible, and you startle in your seat.

Your heart kicks into overdrive when he hands you back your earbud and pulls out the seat next to you, setting his own plate of food down as he plops down in his chair. But then he says nothing afterwards, instead choosing to send you a cheeky grin before digging in. You’re left to slowly phase out of your state of shock, stuck between either running away or frantically texting your twin to come and save you even though he was off on a date with Keqing.

It’s not that you weren’t elated at the fact that Childe had done exactly as you told him last month, you just weren’t...prepared? It’s a shitty excuse and a cop out -- you’re mainly just having trouble with racking your brain to find the right words. What are you supposed to say? What should you do? Is it socially acceptable to lean over and kiss him on the cheek because that’s what you’d like to impulsively do at this very second??

“So you did,” you settle and steal a roasted potato wedge from his plate. It’s his turn to be taken by surprise, but he gets over it much quicker than you do. In fact, he spears two wedges and drops them in your bowl, smiling at you as best as he can with a mouth full of food. You give them your thanks before the silence settles in again.

“Did you have a good break?” He asks before his next bite.

“I did. You?”

“It was nice. My parents said I should’ve brought you and your twin home to spend the holidays with us. Can’t say it didn’t cross my mind before finals.”

Holy shit, what? “We couldn’t intrude like that, but that’s really nice of you guys.”

“That’s okay, there’s plenty of chances to visit later.”

You tilt your head and furrow your eyebrows. “But we graduate this semester?”

Childe challenges you with one of his own eyebrows raised. “And? Are we never gonna see each other again?”

Honestly, the possibility had occurred to you. You aren’t entirely sure of Childe’s plans after graduation, and if that meant he was staying in Liyue or going back to Snezhnaya or even moving to Inazuma or Mondstat. While people preach on and on about how lasting friendships and relationships are often formed during college, you believe it’s more common to slowly drift apart as life gets busier. And if Childe moved away, or if you did, it’d be hard to consistently keep in touch with 10 hour workdays.

The thought saddens you, regardless. You like him so much and you’re glad that he was even in your life to begin with, because as unbelievable as it sounds, seeing him was almost akin to the feeling of coming home. Amidst all your nerves, your confusion, your spiraling thoughts, something deeply sated in your heart was a comfort that you found with very few people in your life whenever in his presence.

The thought of leaving and never looking back somehow doesn’t feel new -- it’s bittersweet, but the air in your lungs feels like it’s surrendered to something, like it was to be expected.

“You can’t just leave without telling me--”

“It was last minute! I had no choice!”

“You could’ve written up a message, anything--”

“Can you imagine the position you’d be in if the message got intercepted? I wouldn’t have been safe, she’d make you come after me--”

“As if you’d be any safer in Inazuma of all places! That’s the one place I can’t easily get to!”

“I can take care of myself, Childe, I don’t need you to protect me.”

“This isn’t about me protecting you, (y/n) and -- stop walking, will you?!”

“Then what is this about?” You spin on your wheel with eyes aflame. “Why are you so angry with me? It’s normal for me to disappear for weeks at a time, why was this any different?”

“Because you could’ve died!” He yells back in despair, chest heaving. Your silence is his cue to continue. “You could’ve died and I wouldn’t have known until much later. You could’ve died and all I’d ever think about were the things I never got to say to you, and how I wish I had treated every day with you like it was our last.”

It isn’t hard to tell that you’re stunned and at a complete loss for words. Childe often hides behind facades of charm and wit, and only when he is truly weak does he choose to be this vulnerable, baring his heart for you to see.

“I only have two nightmares in this world. One, my family being harmed in any way. Two, reading in a report or hearing from an agent that you’ve been captured and killed.”

“I like to think that we will.”

His hand reaches out to lay on top of yours, giving it a quick squeeze. “Well, let’s make the most of it this semester.”

Conversation afterwards is easy, filling each other in on holiday activities. Childe speaks extensively about several family traditions and you listen with rapt attention, basking in how fond he is of all of them. Even as you both bring your dishes to the return belt and leave, he immediately offers to drive you both somewhere to get boba, noticing your reluctance to part ways. But boba shops have to close, and you both have class tomorrow morning, and you’re both finding any excuse to keep talking, even if that means sitting outside your dorm building on a nearby bench.

You eventually bid each other good night’s and see you later’s, him refusing to walk away until the heavy door locks shut behind you after you swipe your student ID, and you looking over your shoulder to watch his figure disappear into the night.

-

True to his intentions, Childe makes great efforts to meet you at least once a day, and he can’t get enough. Each parting from you tugs and tugs at his heart, as if there’s a high possibility you’ll never want to see him again the next day, and he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. Your twin and Childe get along well for the most part, and he even meets Xiangling on one of her shifts at her regular restaurant, who sends you a salacious wink and an eyebrow wiggle over his shoulder that nearly causes you to burst from embarrassment.

February rolls over without a hitch, even if you’re a little disappointed that Childe didn’t make a move for Valentine’s Day. Granted, you two still spent time with each other and he’s so darn physically affectionate and he bought you a carnation from the event his dorm held, but you wish you had the guts to fess up and just kiss the man.

It’ll happen some day, you tell yourself. You have time before graduation.

Two days before the end of the Friday that would signal the start of Spring Break, you wake up in a cold sweat, mind reeling and head splitting, heart so so heavy, as a connection is made between your present and your dreams. Not long after, there are tears streaming silently down your face and into your open palms placed in your lap, and you sit in shock as everything comes back to you. Memories are such treasured burdens, you realize.

For the most part, you had gotten used to the dreams, choosing to take charge of what you know and feel now with Childe over succumbing to some strange neurological premonitions. Especially in your dreams when many people’s faces were blurred over and hazy, and the only things you could rely on were voices, touch, and other physical features. You thought that maybe your mind was just playing tricks by transposing Childe’s hair onto a body that was also strikingly similar to his, but for the first time last night, you could see each defining feature on his face as clear as day.

The sight of his figure arching gracefully over yours, the water arrows that appeared out of thin air, the back that protected you from some military men, the voice that said, “Hey girlie, hold still.”

And that was when you had snapped awake to your current state.

Past the initial shock and uncontrollable tears, you soon bent over as sobs wracked your chest, overwhelmed by all the emotions and the pain the memories brought you; losing your twin, finding him to only be left with even more questions after roaming for decades and decades, meeting all your loved ones throughout Mondstat and Liyue, fighting yet falling so hard for Childe, feeling the fear when facing his Foul Legacy form, hating him for Osial, loving him, breathing heavily as the tip of your blade was pointed at his neck and his own just centimeters from yours, tendrils of water inching closer and closer--

Everything makes sense now.

When you meet your twin for lunch at the cafeteria, you pay no mind to the fact that you’re in public and hug him harder than you ever have in years. He’s already a little alarmed that your eyes seem swollen and you look like finals came two months early, but when he asks what’s wrong, all he gets is a shake of your head and nothing more than, “Just a bad nightmare. I love you, y’know that?”

“I love you too?”

“Don’t sound so unsure, now let’s go and get in line before they run out of Jueyun Chili Chicken.”

Even when you meet Xiao later in the early evening to talk about your thesis, you find yourself holding back more tears just two minutes in, reminded of his past and his own life, and he’s moderately concerned, hesitantly handing you a tissue from the corner of his desk when a stray tear escapes. “Is everything okay?” He hesitantly asks, really hoping that he didn’t do anything to make you cry.

“No,” you almost wail and sniffle while dabbing at your eyes. “Sorry, it’s just been a really long day.”

Xiao’s inquisitive gaze softens, remembering how hard undergraduate life could be sometimes. Graduate school was a whole other level, but that shouldn’t discount your own personal difficulties. Plus, in all of the year and a half that he’s known you, you’ve never broken down like this before in front of him.

“You work really hard, Xiao,” you continue, and he’s not sure where this is coming from. “You’re always so helpful and willing to work with me and answer my stupid questions and like-- you practice self-care, right?”

Xiao nods as a white lie, but it seems to comfort you. Maybe too much because you pull him in for a quick and unexpected hug, and you both decide to reschedule this meeting for tomorrow.

As per usual, you wait for Childe to join you for dinner since you finished up earlier than expected. It gives you more time to think about everyone from Mondstat -- Kaeya, Diluc, Lisa, Jean, Amber...funny to think that some things never changed as you compared their past version to the ones you know now.

“Mora for your thoughts?”

There’s a peace that warms your heart when you hear Childe’s voice, one that forces you to smile at him as he sits down next to you. “Just thinking about old friends.”

“I have to admit, I’ll be a little jealous if it’s another guy taking up more space than me in that pretty brain of yours.”

What a flirt. This man isn’t good for your heart. “Who said you had any to begin with?”

He dramatically places a hand over his heart. “You wound me, (y/n). How will I ever recover?”

“You’re ridiculous,” you snicker. Childe reaches over to pinch your cheek and you bat at him in protest. Easily, he grabs one of your hands and simply pulls you towards the food lines, knowing that you’ll stop fighting back soon.

Part of it feels strange now to feel and see his hands with no leather gloves on.

“Childe,” you start halfway through your meal, continuing after he hums back in reply. “Do you believe in reincarnation?”

He freezes briefly, but recovers so quickly that if you hadn’t been watching so closely, you wouldn’t have noticed. “I think it’s neat, the idea of having past lives. Why do you ask?”

What he really wants to ask is if you’ve been having those dreams, too; if he’s starring in your nights like you have been in his.

“Just a thought, especially since you’re taking Teyvat Myth now, too.”

“Do you...do you think if there was a past life, that we knew each other?”

There’s something about the look of content on your face before you meet his gaze -- he thinks that you know more than you’re letting on but you’re holding back for some reason. He wants to know what’s going through your brain right now, why the fondness in your eyes sends a jolt through him like he’s been searching for it all his life, if you know anything about this magnetic pull between you two.

“I like to think that we knew each other well.”

-

Even though the first day of your returned memories was somewhat eventful, you couldn’t help but feel yourself wanting to pull back from Childe -- at least, until you can successfully compartmentalize which emotions belonged to you past self and which ones belonged to your current mindset. You didn’t quite agree with his duties and his affiliation with the Fatui back then, even if he had his reasons that did make sense, to some degree.

The killing, the threatening, so intent on stealing Rex Lapis’s Gnosis in the name of the Tsaritsa, summoning Osial as a mean to an end -- and you definitely can’t forget how stubborn he was in not listening to your protests, so caught up in his brain that you had betrayed him and sent you plummeting to a near-death experience despite his earlier promise of no intention of killing you specifically.

Everything had been toeing a faint, thin line with Childe then. Undeniable chemistry and tension, guarding yourself for yours and Paimon’s safety, slashing at Fatui agents, whispering out pleas and affirmations of “I’m yours” while riding him, sometimes having to sneak out in the mornings…

The only thing you don’t remember is how everything ends -- maybe it’ll come back to you eventually, but for now, you think you’re okay not knowing.

If Childe still doesn’t remember anything from back then, you think it’d be unfair to spend time with him in all your conflicting emotions, even when it’s spring break, where you have so much more hours in the day to be with each other than normal. Fun plans around Liyue had been made, like a two-day one-night trip to Yaoguang Shoal, and you’re this close to cancelling on him.

But he had been looking forward to it so much, even made most of the preparations for it. Who are you to rob that joy from him when it was you who couldn’t figure out your own shit? Are you self-destructing?

Perhaps.

Before you know it, you’re sitting in the passenger seat of his car, staring out the window at the scenery. Somehow, it pleased you to see that the nature of Liyue had been carefully preserved over the many centuries despite its development into the modern age. You get lost in picking apart the differences between then and now that you don’t notice how quiet you’ve fallen and Childe looks over worriedly when you show no reaction to your favorite songs playing on the stereo.

Even when he calls your name once, twice, nothing gives as you clearly have tuned everything out. So he leaves you be until there’s about half an hour left on the drive, unable to hold back and succumbing to reach over for your hand. You startle so strongly that he almost feels bad for having done it unannounced. But what’s even more disturbing is that this isn’t really the first time.

You’ve been talking to him less, often sitting quietly and staring off into another world that he can’t seem to reach. His texts are answered less frequently and with less wit and enthusiasm, so much so that he just appreciates you still show up to see him. Each time he asks if you’re okay, you always affirm that you are. He’s had a hard time believing you, but Childe believes you’ll tell him when you’re ready, surely.

It’s a little ironic yet fateful that Childe planned to bring you here, of all places. In the past, you had spent many days and nights running around in the sand with him, fighting slimes and hilichurls and collecting starconches for him. You remember laying on a large towel next to him as you both looked up into the sky, pointing out stars and constellations while sharing endless kisses away from prying, spying eyes.

“I’m sorry, I must’ve zoned out,” you sincerely apologize.

“It’s okay, I just wanna make sure you relax while we’re here. This is supposed to be a vacation.”

“You’re right,” you agree and squeeze his hand. “Let’s make the most of it before we become adults who are too busy to have fun like this again.”

And you do. Childe rented a small beach cabin (rich boys) closer to one end of the shoreline, just big enough with two bedrooms, a bathroom, and a small kitchen with a dining table. You help him bring in your bags and some groceries bought the night before, setting them down quickly so you can peer out the window again to take in the view. Childe picked a good time, too. Although it’d be a little chilly at night, the day was still warm and mainly overcast with clouds.

“What do you say we change into our swimsuits and head down to the water?”

“Sure.”

Childe hadn’t really been expecting for you to step out in a large, casual tee and gym shorts, one shoulder exposed. He might have been hoping to see a little more skin, but his mother didn’t raise a chauvinistic pervert for a son.

The light in your eyes as you both approach the water is everything he had been missing the last few days, your excitement and joy contagious. As soon as you place everything down on the sand, you kick off your flip flops and leave him behind to step into the water, giggling at feeling the waves crash over your ankles and bring sand between your toes. Childe approaches you from behind and starts smearing sunblock on the back of your neck, to which you just grin beautifully at him in thanks and he has to fight off the desire to kiss you right then and there.

You’re too caught up in embracing the ocean afterwards to feel the shrinking distance between you two, mistaking his warmth for the general spring air. It isn’t until he’s done with your shoulders that he hands you the bottle to leave you to do the rest of your body, and when you turn to thank him, he’s much closer than you remember. His eyes are gentle, holding your gaze and almost daring you to look away first.

But if there’s one thing you can place without a shred of doubt, it is the unmistakable look of love, because you had seen it many, many times before without knowing until later what it meant.

How so incredibly lucky you were to have Childe back in your life now, loving you all the same, and with no life-threatening barriers. Fate or the Archons have given you a second chance, and you’d be damned to take it for granted.

Childe welcomes your lips against his, wasting no time to bring you into his arms so you’re pressed against him as much as possible. He can’t care for the overt public display of affection because this is everything he’s wanted for months now, waiting patiently for you to give him permission to make you his. Your lips are incredibly soft and pliant against his as you first kiss him patiently, then applying more force and desperation to taste more of him. He mirrors you, one hand cradling the back of your head and the other on your neck with a thumb extended to your jawline, teeth moving to nip at your bottom lip. It’s dangerous, the way you smile against his lips, and when he sinks his teeth in deeper before pulling back, your quiet mewl nearly drives him over the edge.

But you’re in public, and this was an amazing first kiss. You two have a beach to enjoy and a fun night planned, and now that he doesn’t have to hold back on his affections, it’ll be even better.

His lips part from yours regretfully, his eyes languidly opening to meet yours. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots a blue starconch in the sand and freezes.

It’s not that he’s never seen one before, but something clicks. You. The shore. Starconches. Starry nights. His dreams. Monsters. Gods. Fighting. So much fighting. Training. His family. Dragons. You. Falling. You falling. You fighting him. Yelling. Kissing. Loving. Chasing. Him chasing you before you disappear at a teleport waypoint that somehow you only can operate. The abyss. Your twin.

Oh, Archons.

“ -ou okay, Ajax? Ajax?”

He snaps to look at you again. How does he go about this? How does he ask?

“(Y/n)...have you ever heard of the Fatui Harbingers?”

He has to admit that it’s a bit amazing to be able to identify all the emotions that cross your complexion, from curiosity to realization to conflicted. You’re actively trying to piece everything together without revealing too much on the off-chance that you’re wrong, that Childe hasn’t regained his memories and is just asking about something from class randomly and completely out of the blue.

Wait.

“You haven’t reached that material yet in class,” you whisper, heart in your throat at the realization. Could it really be…

“I was once Tartaglia, eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, who possessed a Delusion and used my Foul Legacy Transformation with you several times,” he murmurs back, tucking a stray tendril behind your ear. “Is it too late to apologize again for summoning an ancient god and letting you fall about five floors with no warning?”

He should’ve been prepared for you wrapping your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a tight embrace. “No, never, but I spent weeks after kicking your ass so you’ve been long forgiven.”

Childe burrows his face into your neck, breathing in your scent and basking in this moment. There was so much to talk about, but you two arguably had more time in the world than ever with nothing holding you back. There was no impending war looming over, no one on the run, no opposing forces. His silent wish for a different life with you seems to have been answered finally. If running into you had been the event to set everything in motion, he only wishes he’d done so earlier.

All that matters now is you’re here together in this plane of existence, given a chance to love again, and experience everything you couldn't before.

As written in the stars, take my soul for it is forever yours.

fin

[purple-babygirl]

Bestie bestie, thoughts- daddy! Bucky and little reader cooking together is making my heart melt fr💖 ugh! Like imagine her getting him like a chef hat 🥺 one of those white floppy ones 😭😭 or like they both get matching aprons. Ugh.

Pairing: Chubby!Pâtissier!Daddy!Bucky Barnes x little!f!reader

Word count: 1,404

Warnings: ddlg dynamics, it's all fluff.

A/N: I don't know what you did but i was looking up matching aprons after i saw your ask and boom 💥 pastry chef Bucky thots 💥 attacked me and for that I thank you:"💜💜💜 So here we are. I'm sorry if I took too long and made you feel like I was ignoring your ask, I definitely wasn't💜💜💜 It was just really cute it got my mind going so thank you so very much🥺💜💜 Please enjoy xx.

Pie credit.

heavenly sweet

“Daddy.” She turned around, giving Bucky her back, and he could only smile bigger when he saw the way she was bouncing on her ankles in excitement.

Bucky bow-tied her apron for her, lightly patting her back, “there you go, lil chef,” before pawing at her sides until she giggled.

“Thank you, daddy.” She beamed, letting Bucky help her up on the kitchen counter.

It was a special day for her today. She and Daddy were wearing their matching aprons for the first time, and Bucky was showing her how to make one of her favourites, blueberry pie.

Bucky didn’t get the chance to tell her yet, but the matching aprons gesture had him even crazier in love with her. The way she closely watched his reaction as he'd opened his gift and the way she was over the moon when he’d showed his content with it would forever be engraved in his mind next to all of the other precious memories starring her beautiful eyes.

“Okay, so we have our flour over there,” Bucky pointed to the half-full bag, “eggs and butter too,” he checked, walking closer to her, “and my sugar right here.” Bucky planted his hands on the counter, trapping her between them as he dropped his head to kiss, kitten-lick, and nibble on her jaw.

“Dada!” She squeal-giggled, her hands on Bucky’s round belly as he stood over her.

“Look at you, bonbon! You look like a real chef already! You doing the baking today? Hmm?” Bucky joked, peppering kisses on her face, his hands holding her waist.

“No, jus’ helping daddy,” she giggled more, hiding her face in Bucky’s chest, making him chuckle.

“The best help daddy could get, bonbon.” He kissed the top of her head with a satisfied smile.

~

There was nothing she loved more than watching Daddy work. With his hair pulled back into a small bun, his apron around his full torso, different smudges covering it, and his forearms having the littlest smear of flour on them, Bucky looked like art to her. The way he went about everything he was doing to make her feel included and the way he stole kiss after kiss from her when she was focused. Not to forget how sweet his kisses always were. It was all so perfect. She cherished every moment she got to spend with him, each one better than the last as Daddy made her the best treats that ever existed.

“Now, what do we do, bonbon?” Bucky quizzed playfully, wiping a hand down his apron so he could put the hair that escaped the bun back behind his ear.

“We put in our blueberries!” She replied, her hands eagerly reaching for the bowl of macerated fruit.

“Oh my god,” Bucky looked at her, faking shock and shaking his head.

“Did I say something wrong, daddy?” her voice went small so fast, immediately searching her mind, trying to remember if something went in before the berries.

“I might wanna slow down with teaching you or else next thing I know you’ll be taking over daddy’s bakery, bonbon!” Bucky chuckled, teasingly pecking her cheek.

She laughed with him when he tapped her nose, internally sighing in relief.

He was such a charmer and she was head over heels for him, “’m so proud of you, bonbon.” Bucky kissed her forehead.

“Daddy, can I put them in?” she patted her eyelashes, her hands in place on Bucky’s tummy and he couldn’t help but peck her lips.

“You sure can, lil chef," he said and she grinned at the name he'd started to use, wanting to earn it.

“Here, lemme help you, baby.” Bucky smiled, taking the bowl and holding it for her while she used a spatula to scoop the contents out and into their pie pan.

She was so happy they were doing this together. She was always at her most peaceful state of mind when Bucky would take her to the kitchen with him. Watching him work so passionately was her little self’s own version of bliss. Bucky had the softest aura about him. He was the kindest, most beautiful and most loving Daddy she could’ve ever dreamed of having, and her little heart vowed to appreciate every second with him, every second of him.

“Wait, dada, leave some. Wanna taste.” She stopped Bucky’s hand from slopping the bowl further so the rest of the fruits would fall out.

Bucky, of course, listened to her at once, giving her the bowl to hold on her apron-covered lap as he grabbed her a spoon.

She loved having a taste of the leftovers. Sometimes Bucky would catch her licking cake dough off the bowl in the bakery kitchen and no matter how many times he’d tell her it wasn’t healthy, because the eggs in the batter were raw, she’d still be licking that dough the second he’d turn his back. Bucky loved her too much to be stern with her, so he’d just make sure he was always there, moving the bowl to the sink after being done with it and laughing at her cute pout when she’d see it fill with water as Daddy rinsed it.

Bucky shook the pan to evenly distribute the berries on the surface, adoringly grinning at her attempts to catch a berry that wouldn’t roll and slide off the spoon. She eventually managed to scoop some, moaning when she slid the spoon in her mouth. Bucky’s food always tasted so good she was in love.

“Good, baby?” Bucky licked his lips, wiping his palms on his apron again.

“So good, dada.” She nodded, indulging herself with another spoon of pie filling.

“Give daddy a taste, bonbon,” he asked lowly and she held her spoon up for him, trying not to spill.

Bucky smiled gently, taking the spoon and bowl from her and setting them aside.

She didn’t have time to be confused before he was kissing her, his tongue sliding in to taste hers. Her eyes closed as a surprised moan got out only to be swallowed by Bucky.

She tasted like her with a hint of blueberries, so sweet; so delicious. Bucky’s hands cradled her face as he deepened the kiss, not able to get enough of her flavor, her soft lips or the tiny sounds leaving them. Her smaller hands settled on his chubby tummy, before sliding to his sides to hold him close, slightly clutching his apron.

Their mouths parted, the need for oxygen kind of forcing Bucky away though he still gave her lips a couple of short kisses as he tried to take his breath, his forehead resting on hers.

“So good indeed,” Bucky chuckled breathlessly and her face felt hot, her nose shyly nuzzling Daddy’s cheek to hide.

“Hey, look at me,” Bucky’s voice was so velvety and soft as his fingers brought her face back to his, “I love you, bonbon,” Bucky said, his blue eyes enchanting hers and she could only see, hear, smell and feel him.

Bucky was gorgeous. His tall frame towering over hers, making her feel safe. His pink lips wearing a tender smile that was only designed for her. His cologne surrounding her and filling her chest with warmth. His belly soft and full under her palms. His hair a little out of place as a few strands had slipped out of the bun and refused to stay behind his ear. He was flawless and he was her Daddy.

“I love you, daddy,” she returned with a timid smile.

Her hand went up to slide Bucky’s soft hair back behind his ear, stealing his heart all over again when she cupped his cheek and pressed a tiny kiss to his lips.

With her hand still holding the side of his face and her face tilted upwards, she then started telling Daddy what they had to do next, talking about covering the filling using the remaining pie dough and such, wanting Bucky to be proud of her. And he was, though he wasn’t hearing a word she was saying, he was the proudest.

As he watched her lips move and her hands gesture, Bucky could only think he’d gone to heaven because that must’ve been the only correct name for what he was experiencing in her angelic presence.

Of all the sweet things he's ever tasted, she was his one, true addiction and Bucky was gladly hooked.

~~

Tags: @harrysthiccthighss, @tinystudentfirepurse, @lavendercitizen