#(when not nonverb@l)

[pearlcaddy]

LOCKWOOD & CO. 1.05

[infizero]

light and misa's "relationship" is rlly tragic and fucked but also in an isolated state its really fucking funny. ESPECIALLY if you consider them both to be arospec like i do

[hitoshiyoshi]

how to keep a wife | takami keigo

synopsis ↬ hawks teaches endeavor how to keep a wife

warnings ↬ exh-bitionism (?), the actual exh-bitionism part is a bit short sorry, infedility/cheating, endeavor is a shitty husband, endeavor remarries to the reader after he leaves rei, unprotected s-x, or-l (receiving), mentions of abusive relationships, keigo is the other man, mentions of domestic violence, f-ngering, v-yeurism, endeavor has NOT atoned for his sins, hawks is a little shit, cre-mpie, let me know if i missed anything

pairings ↬ takami keigo x fem!reader

word count ↬ 3.8k

There have been moments over the past year where you wondered whether there was a need to keep trying? Holding dearly onto something that had been sinking for a while. The absence of your friends and family at the wedding should have been the first sign of bad luck. Yet, you blindly kept moving forward. Was there really anything left to lose at this point? Had you grown bored of your normal life that you needed such a drastic change?

All these thoughts flood to your mind as you watch him. It’s beyond the usual time you were meant to rest. Enji came to you last minute and announced that one of his friends would be coming over for dinner. There was no point in arguing. No matter how many times you tried to encourage him to communicate with you, he refused.

Enji’s face contorts in disgust, you could hear the faint sounds of his throat hitching. Rushing to grab a tissue, he spits out the food into it. He looks up at you, eyes burning into your skin with disdain.

“You put too much seasoning, again! Are you trying to raise my blood pressure!?” He whined, slamming the tissue on the dining table as if to threaten you. His anger was something you had grown accustomed to at this point, you’ve seen worse.

“It tastes fine to me,” Enji’s ‘friend’, Keigo, chirps up to your defense. “Relax, Enji.”

Keigo’s words don’t do much, only making Enji grimace and stare off into the void next to him. He never cared about others witnessing his horrible attitude, you sighed. The house was empty tonight: Shoto was busy with his buddies from school, Fuyumi was off traveling, and Natsuo was sleeping over at his girlfriend’s house.

Thankfully, they weren’t here. Fuyumi empathized with you during these times. She mentioned that the fights between you and Enji brought back uncomfortable memories for her and the brothers. Having Shoto defend you during Enji’s spells of anger was humiliating enough. Always stepping in before things escalated terribly; it must’ve been a response to protect you in ways he couldn’t do for his mother.

“Sorry,” You stand and gather Enji’s plates, still full of unfinished food. He wouldn’t touch it anymore. “I was trying to hurry but it was hard with you rushing me.”

Keigo watches over you like a hawk; he was always the worst at hiding his emotions well. You tried to avoid him, but he always found a way. When Enji’s eyes shut tight in annoyance, he becomes bold. Ghosting his fingertips over your legs as you bend over to reach for another plate. You shoot him a glare, nonverbally demanding that he stop. Keigo just laughed off your concerns in a small chuckle under his breath, only you could hear.

Begrudgingly, you trotted off to the kitchen to clean up. Enji looked too enamored with his 'friend' to hound you to cook something else. He usually did that when he wasn’t satisfied with your dishes. You prayed, for this one time, that he would leave you alone. His eyes burn into you again as you leave, you can feel them. Although, you’ve only been married to him for a short time — the feeling is something you are already aware of.

When you finally leave the room, Keigo decides he can safely speak his mind. “Getting mad all the time isn’t good for you, Enji.”

“What the hell would you know?” The last thing Enji wanted to hear was advice from a man who changed girlfriends as often as underwear.

“Not much,” Keigo shrugged, playfully raising his shoulders as if he was taunting the older gentleman. “Be nice. It must be hard to get used to her new life. Step-kids and all.”

"Hmph..."

Enji considers Keigo’s words, but only for a brief moment. The stress of hero work must have been catching up to him. He sincerely doesn't mean to raise his voice at you, it's just that you are the closest victim around. Even if guilt creeped up on him slowly, his pride stopped him from apologizing. Enji planned on buying you those bouquet of tulips you mentioned liking a few months back as an apology — the thought barely lingers in his mind.

Although Keigo would love to catch up with his favorite hero, he had other plans in mind.

"Gotta use the bathroom." Keigo stands from his seat, leaving Enji to wither in his own flames. "Might go check up on her too," He says, too fast and quiet for Enji to process his words before he leaves.

The path to the kitchen is familiar to him; Keigo has been in this house more times than Enji knows. Really, he should be counting his blessings with how lucky he has been. The traditional Japanese-style of the home was an eyesore to him. Keigo has been trying to convince you to spend the night at his, only once, but you couldn't. What sort of excuse could you possibly tell Enji for him to allow that? “It's simpler this way”, you tell him.

As he turns the corner, you're the first thing he sees. How could he ignore you? You hurry around the kitchen, clearing all the contents of this evening's dinner in the garbage. Running scalding hot water over the dirty dishes, you don't notice until a burning sensation touches your skin. Hissing out a swear through your teeth afterwards. Each plate needed to be scrubbed clean — white and shiny without a spec of food — before Enji raised his hand at you again, with those demonic eyes of his.

"He pissed you off a little, huh?" Keigo startles you with his presence at the door. You glance at him, only for a second as you didn't want to lose your focus.

Keigo's leaning against the door frame; his hands are in the depths of his denim pockets. The silver and gold watch you gifted him for his birthday last year sparkles in your eyes. He bought you a matching one shortly after that, but you refused to wear it — it would be too obvious! His tone doesn't sound empathetic. In the brief moment you see him, Keigo gives you his signature cheesy smirk.

"Yeah," You say and return to cleaning. The last thing you needed was to be disturbed — but he was perfect at accomplishing that.

Low vibrations and slow steps soon follow until he's right behind you. Keigo can sense you tensing; something’s not right. Instinctively, his muscular arms snake around your waist as he presses your back into his toned chest. Keigo rests his head into a free space on your shoulder. With every breath, his stubble tickles your skin gently.

“You know he can’t keep a wife happy,” He laughs softly into your ear, obviously poking fun at Enji's failed marriage with Rei.

“It really isn’t funny, Keigo…” Unamused, you catch a cup that slips out of your hands.

“Yeah, yeah… Don’t bark at me,” Keigo eases up off your shoulder, he straightens his back but the tight grip on your waist remains. “Jus’ hate when you’re sad, you know…”

“Don’t worry about me.”

One of his hands pinch your sides, while the other traces shapes into your clothes skin. “Can’t you smile for me, dove?”

“I’m not in the mood."

“Hm…?" He cocked his head to the side. "Fine.”

His hands glide down your arms, stopping at your wet hands. Although his own become wet and covered in suds, he doesn’t mind. Keigo holds up your ring finger, narrowing his eyes as he stares at the silver band. He usually loves shiny jewelry, especially the ones that glisten perfectly under the sun. They always caught his eye first, twinkling in a way that made it hard for him to resist. He always gifted you the finest jewelry that you kept tucked away in a small box, away from Enji.

Keigo hates your wedding ring.

“What- What are you—,” Keigo slips the wet ring off your finger and sets it on the counter.

He never understood why you chose Enji over anyone else. How could Enji be picked over him? Each time he asks, you mutter the same response. “You’re too busy all the time, Keigo. You’re never here when I need you.” It was the truth; he couldn’t deny it, but only make up excuses. Keigo tries to explain that his line of work doesn’t allow for him to have these freedoms, but it’s not enough to persuade you.

Drunk off the feeling of your love, he fills the emptiness in his heart with meaningless flings and relationships that won’t make it past three months. Somehow, Keigo tries to keep them hidden from you. There’s no point in making an announcement to his friends, anyways. Yet, you were aware of them. If you listened closely, you could hear their voices in the background of your calls with him. All of his past lovers gave the same excuse as you did. How funny was it all? They could tell his heart was elsewhere and their body was unable to fix that void.

“I know you hate doing it with your ring on…” Keigo's free hand slips under your skirt, trailing his fingertips on the skin of your inner thighs.

He plays with the waistband of your panties, just enough to not agitate you. Keigo waits for you to stop him, each time. For you to be reminded of your sacred union, but it never happens. You haven’t felt the sense to stop in quite some time. By now your movements are instinctive, your legs spread to allow him more space to continue as he pleases. Running his middle finger along your clothed heat, he leaves soft kisses along the nape of your neck.

"There's not enough time," Whispering this to him in a hushed tone, your pleas are ignored.

"You hate thinking of him, right?" With no time to react, his fingers dive past the silk fabric.

"Kei..." Your head tilts back next to his own, until your cheeks are touching each other.

Whimpering his name gave him enough motivation to act. All those years spent with the Commission didn't go to waste; with the memory skills he's been taught, he knows each of your favorite spots.

Keigo's middle finger find the hood of your clit, rubbing in circular motions as you unwind to his touch. His movements are aided by the slick dripping from your cunt and coating his fingers. By now, you've forgotten about the running tap water — grasping onto his brawny arms to urge him deeper. Keigo sinks his teeth into the nape of your neck, trying to muffle his moans. He doesn't want to worry about Enji finding out.

It's the first time he's made a move with Enji in the house. What better time than now? The pads of his finger push deeper into your bud, quickening his movements as his heart races. "You should get back to him now, baby bird..."

"Mmm~, not yet..." You can only pray that he can't hear your voices from. You can feel him smirk into your skin, giving a rest from marking you. Keigo had no other choice but to oblige. What kind of partner would he be to neglect you? No better than Enji.

Keigo's fingers dip lower, teasing you with the way he runs along your heat. You felt him pressing you further against the counter, trying to free himself from his skinny jeans. He always preferred to begin slow, not wanting to rush the quality time you two spent together — even if it was short. Focusing all your effort on staying quiet, you gasp as you feel him burying inside slowly and with ease. His thumb never leaves from your clit, keeping the same rhythm as before.

Reaching his free hand up to your shirt, he raises it by the hem and tugs it upwards enough for your bra to show. Keigo claws at the fabric, it doesn't take much effort to completely reveal your breasts to the cool air. The lace material peels off your skin easily; he doesn't enjoy the speed of things, for once in his life, but he gives in... for you. As his hand caresses your tits, his thumb dances over your hardened bud.

Keigo can feel it; as soon as another one of his thick fingers enters your walls, he can feel you quivering under him. Fluttering around his fingers with every pass he makes over your weakest spot. "s-shit, yeah, keigo... keep going...!" you cry in response to his words. Hips rocking into his hand, matching the rhythm of the deep yet slow thrusts of his fingers. By now, your essence has sullied your perfectly clean underwear and leaked onto every inch of his fingers.

Just as you feel yourself unwinding at his movements, he pulls away. Unwrapping his arms away from you and carefully slipping out of your sodden cunt.

"God," You scowl at him, embarrassingly loud. Keigo tries to make up for it with a quick peck on the cheek. You hated when he pulled little tricks like that.

"He should be here to see," Keigo helps you slip out of your lace panties. He takes the risk and stuffs them deep inside his pockets, hopefully you won't ask about them later. "Maybe he'll learn how to make you cum." Grasping tightly on your hips, he forces you around.

Keigo leans forward and takes his place back on your neck. Sucking and nibbling at your skin until purple bruises arise once again. You run your fingers through his honey blonde locks, urging him. His kisses continue to the valley of your breasts. Each of his hands grasp onto your mounds of flesh. Keigo suckles on your peaks, tongue dragging light flicks along your sensitive skin.

He continues his kisses, trailing them downward from your breasts to your bellybutton. Finally, Keigo kneels beneath you. Spreading your legs like butter with his hands, he says, “You jus' can't wait for me, huh?"

Keigo ghosts his fingers over your inner thighs. He bites his lips and gulps shallowly at the sight, cunt glistening under him. His amber orbs dilate as he takes in the sight, so shiny and perfect just for him. A nice long lick up your slick is enough to continue your trance. Keigo is too eager; he laps up all of your spilling nectar until it fully completely coats his tongue and dribbles along his pink tongue.

As he peers up, you can’t help but notice how beautiful he looks underneath you. Strands of his honey blonde hair fall perfectly on his sweaty forehead. Keigo fits on you like a missing jigsaw puzzle piece. Circling and flicking his tongue around your clit, your hands claw through his hair and force him deeper. Never minding his stubble rubbing against your sensitive skin.

Bucking your hips into him once again, Keigo loves the way you surrender completely to his touch. “ah~ fuck- fuck… i can’t… please, faster!” He’s happy to follow your commands. The rapid beating of your heart and quickening breath gives him enough of a signal, again. Through your quivering thighs and slurred speech, you manage to speak, “kei! i’m go- gonna cum…!”

This time, your hands hold his head in place — you won’t let him toy with you again, now. Spewing swears through gritted teeth, you tense up over him feeling the wave of ecstasy consume your body. Keigo stares up at you briefly, your expression is enough for him to threaten to spill in his boxers. Your head is thrown back with one very loud moan escaping your lips. He eagerly laps up everything as if it’s his last supper, refusing to stop until on his saliva remains on your skin.

Panting, he brings himself up to his feet. Keigo hisses softly feeling you palm him under his jeans. He pushes your hand away, with a newfound sense of vigor, he can’t wait. The jingling of his belt resounded in the room as he unbuckled his jeans. You could feel him rutting against you while his fingers were still deep inside you. Bulge protruding through his skinny jeans, begging to be released.

He frees his cock from its hold, just before you notice a damp spot of his precum. Always neat and well-kept for you, he’s groomed himself well just for tonight. Blood rushes to his rosy tip, the veins pulsate with every second that passes.

Stroking his cock for a few seconds, you help guide him to your core. Just like his fingers, he nestles inside you with ease. You wrap so tight around him, nearly swallowing him whole. So perfect, he can’t help but say, “always squeezin’ around me just right, dove…”

You wrap your arms around his neck, mesmerized by his blushing and sweaty face. A bead of sweat trickles down from his forehead to his collarbone as you shift some hair from his face.

Keigo gently rolls his hips, massaging your velvety walls with his shaft; so tender and affectionate, you easily got addicted to the feeling. He releases soft gasps with each movement of his hips, not wanting to break eye contact with you. He wanted to watch everything, every facial expression and cry that left your mouth.

“Waited so long for this,” Keigo presses his forehead against yours. “Hate havin’ to watch you two together…”

Softly planting a kiss on his cherry red lips, you reciprocate his feelings, “God, I missed you.” Nipping at his bottom lip before kissing him deeper, “it’s been too long.”

One of your legs wraps around his waist and lower back, pulling him deeper with his sudden sporadic thrusts. Keigo tries to keep his feelings together. That was a necessity in forbidden relationships like this. Yet, he doesn’t know how long he can do it. Smile in Enji’s face like a dear friend only to betray him when he was alone with you. It was a sickening feeling; he couldn’t keep it hidden any longer.

What should he do? Keigo’s too deep into everything now. The possibility of rejecting his feelings is something he couldn’t do. Especially now, as he hears your chants of his name spew from your lips once you two break away from your kiss. The glimmer of your wedding ring catches his eye when you cling to him. His hips slapped against your skin with sounds of sex echoing through the room. Oh, how badly did he want to be Enji.

The anger nearly consumes him, just for a second. He couldn’t accept the announcement of your marriage to him that day… How could you? How could you pick Enji!?

Keigo desperately wants to find his release, spill his scalding cum deep inside your cavern and smirk to himself as you limp back to your husband. But he couldn’t be satisfied only with that… Instead, he slows, just enough to keep him chasing his high.

He leans down to your ear, and whispers, “I’ve always wanted you… haven’t you realized?”

"F-Fuck, Kei... I know," You run your fingers through his messy hair, coaxing him even closer to your body. "I'm sorry..."

"Ho-How do you th-think I sleep at nights knowing you give yourself to h-him..?" Keigo tries to keep himself together, once again. It took everything in his spirit to not spill his potent seed. Not now, not yet.

"Mmmh~... 'm sorry, Kei...

With those feathers of his, Keigo could sense the trembling ground with his heavy footsteps only a few feet away from the door. It was all sort of funny to him, it must’ve been a joke. “I better start calling this pussy mine from now on. Shouldn’t I, Enji?”

“Nnggh… Wha- What…?” Of course, you decide to groan a bit too loud just as he was at the door. “Enji…!”

Poor Enji. He thought you had hurt yourself when he heard your noises only a few minutes before. He really didn’t mean to raise his voice at you. Lately, Enji has been trying to be a better person. You know, work through his anger issues for the betterment of his growing family. He slipped up tonight, yes, but he was trying. Keigo wants to feel bad, but he couldn’t spare any sympathy for a serial abuser.

Enji is frozen just outside the door. Blue eyes pierce at your bodies intertwined together. The messy clothing still that you still have on, his markings all over your neck, and of course, the expressions of pure ecstasy written over Keigo’s face.

As if the image wasn’t enough for the older man, Keigo reaches for your neck and forces you to stare at Enji. The only thing in common between the two of you is the horrified expression you make at each other as your eyes meet.

His pace of his movements began to pick up, becoming frenzied now that his favorite hero is here to watch. All the older man could do was gawk. You wanted to keep your composure, maybe even push Keigo off your body and run to Enji. It was just a little mistake! A mistake that has lasted since the day you two were married.

"Took you long enough..." Keigo knew Enji was getting on with age, surely his hearing wasn't affected as well. "Pu- Put on a show for him, pretty bird... Let him hear..."

"Oh~... God, I- I..." You somehow manage to croak out as Keigo moves his hand from you neck to your jaw, parting your lips.

"There we go. That's it, babygirl..." His hips drill into your core with an unwavering speed, plates scattered around the counter swayed with each thrust; finally, chasing his high. "Louder..."

Like an obedient dove, you obeyed. The harmony of your moans combined with his own bounced off each wall and into Enji's ears. Keigo's eyes refuse to leave yours. Instead, he positions your head until he was the only being in your view. Keigo's hips faltered with every one of his grunts, seizing up along with the rest of his body. He dipped his head down lower; his hot breath tickles the hairs on your neck. You knew what would happen next.

With a loud hiss, Keigo's eyes shut tight as he sinks his teeth into your skin. You could feel his body tense on top of you, feverishly grasping onto your flesh to draw you closer. A warm sensation pools through your cavern, you moan along with him as if Enji's presence is nonexistent. Speaking of the devil, he remained frozen throughout the entire ordeal. He blinks at the sight a few times, trying to process if he was dreaming.

But, of course, it was all reality. Enji finally accepts it, trailing his eyes to the floor beneath him.

“Come on, don’t look away now, Enji…” His seed drips down your inner thigh, joining your juices that have trickled onto the kitchen floor. “Pay attention, you might learn a thing or two about how to keep a wife…"

『 a very VERY late submission to kinktober from a while back… check it out if your bored ! 』 — kai

STUDENTS & HEROES MASTERLIST

[adayumantium]

Ughhh I loved your hc’s for Logan!!!!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭 we need more headcanons for him!!!! I saw that alphabet headcanons are pretty popular and I thought that it would be a cool idea if you could wrire a sfw and nsfw alphabet for Logan

SFW Logan Howlett Alphabet!!!

[a/n] My friend, you are SO correct. Here's one!! NSFW to come...

A = Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Logan in public is a subtle but strong presence- a hand under the table, trying to catch your eye across the room. He wants you to know you occupy his mind at all times. Logan in private is a different animal- he loves to hold you, and is always touching you in some way. Sometimes your leg hangs over his, or his hand rests on your back. You like to just scroll in his lap on occasion. 

B = Best friend (What would they be like as a best friend? How would the friendship start?)

As we all know, it’s very much a “fuck around and find out”, enemies to tolerating your presence kind of relationship. It’s a lot of being steadfast, and not letting him walk over you; you have to match his sass fr. 

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

YES. Something primal about just burrowing into each other’s chests, you falling asleep to Logan’s heartbeat or vice versa. He wants to protect you as you both put your walls down, and your senses simmer for the night. 

D = Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Settling down was never really in Logan’s plans, but he’s very good at cleaning and cooking simple things. Travel and the military kept him a minimalist, and those habits could be hard to break. Of course, you’re nothing of the sort, loving the sentiment of your time together and trinkets, and he loves anything that makes you happy. As noted in my domestic Logan hcs, baby loves grilling when the weather is nice 

E = Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

Logan doesn’t like wasting his time or yours. If you needed to break up for any reason (tbh it would probably be for your own safety/his own self-loathing), he’d make himself out to be an asshole and drive you away. 

F = Fiance(e) (How do they feel about commitment? How quick would they want to get married?)

Logan’s been hurt so much, but is still traditional in wanting a spouse and to devote himself to you forever. Once you’ve actually started your relationship, he falls hard and fast. 

G = Gentle (How gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?)

Logan is like a stone, with people being like water or wind. He is a rough, ragged surface, rounded out by the people he loves. They soften him to the individual, and make him more gentle . 

H = Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it? What are their hugs like?)

Does not like hugs, but often puts others he cares about before him. Logan is quick to hold those who clearly need it, and he’s actually so good at it. It’s the best hug you’ve ever had. 

I = I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It happens nonverbally months before it’s explicitly said. Once, you passed Logan’s room and heard your favorite music blaring through the door; he never brought it up. The first time he outright tells you, you’re out risking your lives. You still remember him grabbing both of your shoulders and squeezing you tight: “Don’t fuck up, alright? I love you, kid,” 

J = Jealousy (How jealous do they get? What do they do when they’re jealous?)

SO VERY. He wants to pummel men who look at you. “Move along, bub,” and baring his teeth in bars. If looks could kill, they would, and then he would do it physically anyway. 

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Logan is a PASSIONATE, GREEDY kisser. These are SFW HEADCANNONS U SINNERS, so I’ll just say he’s very much an all over the place kind of guy. Really, if his mouth finds it, he’ll kiss it. Ears, wrist, ankles. He really likes kissing the knuckles; he’s a classic kind of guy. 

L = Little ones (How are they around children?)

Logan will treat little ones with the same poise (or lack thereof) as adults, although he TOTALLY has a soft spot with them if they’re kind hearted and not pains in the asses. He’s much slower to anger, and puts so much love and care into them, even if he feels like he’s way over his head all of the time. 

M = Morning (How are mornings spent with them?)

An early riser, Logan is always ready to meet you where you are; if you need time to sleep, he’ll get up and make food for you both. On mornings you want to feel more productive, he’ll read or train right alongside you. 

N = Night (How are nights spent with them?)

He’s ready for long nights, but usually finds himself on the sofa with you or exploring on the nights you feel restless. The two of you will go for long walks, and he’ll make up names for the constellations. “I don’t fuckin’ know. M’thinking that one’s, like, dunno, Ziggy Stardust, huh?” 

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Logan needs to be overflowing with negative emotions and whiskey to be anything beyond cryptic. He’s not the type to spill his (extremely long) life story, and not the type to outwardly dwell on it, either. 

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

…Do I need to answer this? 

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail you mention in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

Logan might not always remember a conversation you had, or a question you asked him, but there are little details he couldn’t forget if he tried: how your dinner tasted the night you first kissed, the way your laugh echoes in his ears, the song that was playing on the jukebox a night you went dancing. His senses are consumed by how much they are reminded of you. 

R = Remember (What is their favorite moment in your relationship?)

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

VERY. We know this, fr. He is always going to put you and your safety first. 

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

Logan puts himself down about it, and doesn’t consider it effort, but always manages to do the most heartwarming things. Once, you saw an umbrella you liked in the window; he bought it in secret and gifted it to you months later.  He’ll also write you little notes, but when you call it cute, he’ll just mumble something about common courtesy. 

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

You hate that he smokes, and how your shirts smell like cigarettes, no matter how hot he looks with them fiddling between his teeth…

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Comfy and practical above everything. He wants to be able to move freely, and not look stupid, but that doesn’t make him vain. 

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Emotionally, I find Logan to be a part of every person he’s loved. He carries that with him in his heart for so long. I think it’s also part of that pack mentality, the animalistic urge to belong to something.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Logan’s guilty pleasure is late-night snacking/drinking. He slips out of bed in the middle of the night, curling up on the sofa with a beer and a snack. He’s positive you don’t have a clue, though the peanut butter jar has been emptying suspiciously quickly lately….

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

Logan can’t stand when you put yourself down; as self-deprecating he is, he wants nothing more than for you to see yourself the way he sees you. 

Z = Zzz (What is a sleep habit of theirs?)

Logan has bad nightmares, but sleeps much more soundly with you in his bed. He has a habit of pawing at you in is sleep so that he can feel you there.

[de4dlyniightshade]

Dunno if u have seen it but I’d really love ur version of the NSFW alphabet for Spencer Reid

(Not sure if that really counts as a Drabble or a super long headcanon. I tried to go thru ur blog and I didn’t see where u had done 1 before!!)

ON IT!!!

doing it with sub!spencer ofc<3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex): super sleepy and cuddly, just wants you to hold him and kiss him and play with his hair. also goes borderline nonverbal, just wants to be in your company.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s): his favourite body part on himself is honestly probably his brain ngl BUT otherwise i'd say his hair, he takes good care of his hair and takes the time to make sure it looks nice so i'd say his hair. as for on you probably your hips or eyes, your eyes is the answer he tells people but actually he just loves gripping your hips and pinching the fatty skin there and placing kisses on your hipbones.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically): loves cumming in you. so much. but also loves cumming on you, more specifically cumming on your pussy after fucking you, the way it looks running over you just making his head spin.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs): pervert. not a creepy pervert but still a pervert. will stick around if he walks in on you changing, stare at your boobs and ass when he thinks you don't see him, shamefully touches your underwear for longer than he should when he's doing laundry, will spend a good while scanning your body while you sleep, especially if you're wearing shorts or a tank top.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?): not experienced. has no idea what he's doing. he tries his best and learns fast but he needs a lot of guidance and care but he prefers you taking control anyway.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying): cowgirl. nothing beats getting ridden in his mind, the sight of you on top of him, your boobs bouncing with each thrust and the way you gripped his waist.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.): i wouldn't say he's serious but he's not humorous either, whenever your touching him he just becomes a moaning mess and can hardly think for himself, just completely lost in the pleasure.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.): not shaved bald but definitely trimmed, if not for your benefit then definitely for his own.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect): soooo lovey, just holding you and kissing you and snuggling into you and telling you that he loves you and thanking you.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon): definitely jerks off a lot when you're apart because he just gets really sexually frustrated without you.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks): mommy kink!!!

L = Location (favorite places to do the do): bed first, always, it's just more private and intimate but he also likes it on the couch but that's more of a spur of the moment thing.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going): anything and everything. you smiled at him? horny. kissed him? extra horny. hugged him? horny. literally anything you do can get him going.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs): blindfolds on him for obvious reasons, also domming, he just can't do it.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.): giving all the way!!! even if he's not that good at it he puts his heart and soul into it. more often than not he gets carried away and forgets he's trying to get you to cum bcs he just loves to taste you.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.): loves it fast but not too rough if that makes sense? like he doesn't wanna hurt afterwards and whenever he's on top he just gets so caught up that he can't help but fuck you desperately.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.): likes them a lot and however often you're up for it, especially before work. definitely walks into that building with a real pep in his step after a quickie in the morning.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.): definitely game to experiment with a lot of things you wanna try, but nothing too crazy like he wouldn't be into slapping or extreme bondage, but a little tying up he's game for.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?): not many. he gets easily overwhelmed and overstimulated bcs he's just so sensitive. can go three rounds at very best.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?): doesn't own toys himself but if you do he uses them on you, more specifically if you had a vibrator he'd use it on you when you're tired. also let's you use a vibrator on him, the feeling of it pressed to his tip making him cum embarrassingly fast. not to forget pegging, would let you peg him or use a dildo on him.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease): not at all, you're more the one to tease him but he doesn't have enough patience or self control to tease you.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.): very loud and doesn't even realise it, he just gets so lost in his own mind that he can't even hear himself.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character): loves being bitten by you, not aggressively enough that it hurts too bad but if he was on top and you bit into his shoulder when you came he'd definitely follow quick after.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes): around 7 inches, not too thick but not too thin either, curved upwards slightly, the prettiest pink tip and not overly veiny but definitely a few. also i feel like he has pretty nipples idc.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?): very high, needy alllllll the time like could go at it at the drop of a hat it doesn't matter what time of day he could be rock hard in seconds for you.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards): pretty quickly depending on the time, if it was one of those morning quickies ofc he can't but otherwise he tries to stay awake but never manages to actually stay awake that often.

[lukolabrainrot]

Toronto and Ireland (Part 2)- Ireland Stops

The Ireland stops were absolutely magic and my favorite of the tour! They were the stops that confirmed to me that this relationship between L/N wasn't just work besties who had a lot of sexual chemistry. This was a relationship with a lot of depth and intimacy, and would (probably) be very serious. I am going to talk about the specific parts during Ireland that led me to this conclusion, because there were just too many things that happened in Dublin/Galway to go over everything (but feel free to send me an Ask if you want me to talk about something in particular during Ireland that I don't cover here). I'm going to say a few of my general thoughts/comments about the Ireland stops first:

I believe that L/N went directly to Ireland from Toronto (please correct me if I am wrong?), and that energy from Toronto spilled over and peaked in Ireland, which resulted in heightened emotions in Ireland. I think their emotions were also heightened because the tour was coming to an end, and it was like a homecoming for N.

I think PART of the reason we saw the type of behavior and body language from L in Ireland is because L knew how meaningful these particular stops were for N, and he was just kind of in awe/inspired/mesmerized by how people were responding to them (but particularly to her).

L/N basically interacted the whole time like they were a FREAKING COUPLE 😅 Like it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS from their nonverbal cues and how they were talking (imo). I don't think they ACTUALLY were , but it was just VERY interesting considering the energy from Toronto (if that makes sense)🤔

Alright, I am now going to analyze particular parts from the Ireland stops (going to go chronologically):

The Freaking Head Rub (Dublin):

Posting 2 TTs because this was by far the most WTF moment for me on the tour (I have like 6 edits of this clip saved on TT 😂) So let's dive into this gem:

I'm going to start by saying this. THIS 👏 WAS 👏 THE 👏 MOST 👏 OBVIOUS 👏 SLIPUP 👏 ON 👏 THE 👏 TOUR 👏 They got caught. Period. It was obvious this type of intimate behavior is normal for them.

Now the act itself could be written off as just a kind gesture. But below is why it blew up:

1) It was CRAZY intimate. L leaned in (like she does this all the time), he closed his eyes, she gingerly rubbed his forehead (I still don't exactly know what she was getting out of his face--hair, lent, she just wanted to touch her man him, idk? 🙃), the man made a little MOANNN/PURRRR in the middle of the head rub, and then N gently carressed his cheek to signal that he looked good now (again, like she DOES THIS ALL THE TIME). 2) Then the interviewer made an impromptu "Oh" right after he made the soft moan because she was taken aback and was like WTF IS HAPPENING. She tried to correct and make a little joke about the carriage scene (which coincidentally is what they were talking about in that moment) to try and ease the awkwardness of the situation, but the interviewer was totally unprepared for that little moment. 3) L made a little side-eye look at the interviewer after she went "Oh" because he realized he got lost in the moment and how intimate it was, and was like OH S**T. 4) N BLUSHES and shyly laughs (our PR queen who is VERY aware that the public analyzes everything she does) 5) L/N try to laugh it off and say that N does things like THIS to people all the time (but you could tell they were both embarrassed/flustered, especially L, BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT/SLIPPED UP) 6) And they did all of that RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of one of the interview questions 🙄

L/N tried to come up with a lame-o excuse when they were asked about it during the London premiere, but you could tell that they really had no good explanation, because it just kind of happened and they got caught on camera. The intimacy of this moment goes wayyy beyond work besties, and I think they knew that, and there was obviously no way they were going to go there with that interviewer on the London red carpet (but they also couldn't deny it happened because it's on camera, so L got a little defensive and N came up with that silly response about getting lent off people, which wasn't even what was happening in that moment 🙄🙄).

I have NEVER seen anything quite like this before in the middle of a daytime interview of this nature, and the moment still makes me go WHATTTT JUST HAPPENED. It is THE moment that I decided 100% that L/N's relationship wasn't just friendship. That moment served as a very tiny, candid glimpse of how they are in private, and that's how I knew. Simple as that. "Work besties"... sure Jan 😂

Why they let that level of intimacy slip on camera, we will never know. I feel strongly that it probably had a lot to do with N's guard being wayyy down due to the heightened feelings I previously mentioned, and just that they were HAPPY. I definitely don't think they wanted that on camera though, but I think it speaks VOLUMES N did this publicly. N does have a tendency to be very touchy with people, and she had picked/wiped things off of L before on the tour. But NOTHING like this though. N was sending a message (just my opinion though).

Dublin Red Carpet Event/Screening

Side note before I get to my thoughts. This was my FAVORITE outfit of theirs on the tour🔥❤️ They reminded me of a couple in a Tim Burton movie (ex: Johnny Depp and Winona Rider in Edward Scissorhands). It was just sublime *chef's kiss*

I just loved this red carpet event!! EVERYTHING about it:

The way all the fans were looking so lovingly at how LUKE and NICOLA were interacting with each other

The way L was constantly looking for N when they weren't together (and every time he looked at her (particularly when she wasn't aware) he was just GLOWING AT HER 😍)

The way they checked each other out when they finally came together 🔥

How L kept checking in with N and was so in tune with her because he knew how emotionally overwhelming and meaningful this was for her

How he decided to wear only Irish designers for the Irish stops to honor her (that might not have actually been his choice, but it was really sweet he mentioned it regardless)

How happy he was that this outfit was N's favorite of his on the tour. L cares sooo much about what she thinks about him, no one can tell me otherwise 😍😭

The way you could tell L got upset when that interviewer during the Dublin screening said that comment about N being so "brave" (in relation to her body), and how in awe he was with N's effing amazing response

This red carpet event/screening reaffirmed to me just how much L admires/loves/adores/respects N. Like there is real emotional depth behind his eyes when he looks at her, like she is the moon, the sun, and the stars. Like he just looks and interacts with her like she's his person, his 🦞️ (for the Friends' fans in the group lol). Obviously, some of what we saw during this red carpet event was probably due to the heightened emotions of everything that I mentioned at the beginning of this post. However, L/N were so in tune with each other and just glowing during this event (it was palpable), and it made my heart so happy 😍

Galway/L Meeting N's Family

Galway was just something else. Let's talk first a little bit about some things leading up to Galway:

N and L brought up multiple times in Dublin about how excited they were for L to meet her family (particularly her mom who N is really close to). And this excitement seemed VERY genuine based on their body language and how they were talking about it.

N brought up a few times about how excited her mom was to meet L (I talk a little about that/her mom's thoughts on L in my post here).

I think it was just very telling by how they were talking about this introduction that it was a BIG deal for both of them (and everyone involved). Whyyyy... well because (I believe) they are going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke Newton in the future 😉

So this is how I came to this conclusion. First, these are the main things that really stood out to me from the introduction that signaled to me this was not just someone introducing her work bestie to her family:

Their nonverbal cues on the screening stage signaled to me that there were BIG feelings between L/N about her family being there (I couldn't tell you what feelings exactly, but I would guess it was a mixture of nervousness, excitement, happiness, etc.)

The WAY L was sooooo in tune with her during this screening presentation because he knew how overwhelming this all was for her. And he appeared hyper-aware that her family was there, and it appeared to me from his body language and behavior that he was very self-conscious and trying to make the BEST first impression on her family

The WAY N asked L to come meet her mom. I have like a lot to say about this little moment because I think it speaks VOLUMES. 1) L is kind of distracted talking to some fans, but N is laser focused on her family and not really paying any attention to the fans (I'm sure she was very eager to go greet her mom, but she stayed glued to him (it read as VERY connected body language wise) and she was obviously not going to go until he went with her) 2) She then gently puts her hand on his arm and asked him to come meet her mom 3) He redirected his attention to her and happily said yes 4) He turned back to the fans to say goodbye, and N was already very gently guiding him away towards her mom 5) He and her were a unit in this moment, this introduction was going to happen as a unit 6) This whole interaction just SCREAMED of two people who have an intimate relationship and are very comfortable with each other (again, the nonverbal cues 👀)

She gives her mom a very heartfelt and teary hello, and then her mom holds her arms out like "Luke come here." and N is like oh yeah "Big moment big moment" and L (who has repeatedly said he's not a big fan of hugs) comes over and gives her mom a BIG hug and is just BEAMING. And the whole crowd goes wild lol -> He also tells her mom "Thank you for being so kind (OR making her (N) so kind 😭). I'll see you after. We'll spend some time"'

There is too much to list in regards to the body language of everyone involved in this moment, but it speaks VOLUMES that this was a highly anticipated introduction and a major moment for everyone. I would recommend, if you haven't, going back and looking over how N's brother and SIL react to this introduction, it is PARTICULARLY telling.

And the cherry on top is that when her mom turns away to go back to her seat after the hug, she does this little approving nod to whoever she was sitting by like "Yup, he's a good one. I like him for her." 😭😭

Final thoughts on this introduction/Ireland in general/miscellaneous:

That family introduction was absolutely WILD...Now even if her family had decided not to go to the Galway screening, I am almost certain L would have stayed around that weekend and hung out with her family regardless. Why... Because (like I have mentioned a few times on this blog) I think they know what they have, and I think they legit see a future with each other if they can figure things out. And I think they discussed a lot of this during the tour, which is why we saw what we saw with the introduction. I am almost certain they would not have had the emotions they did to this family introduction if they weren’t serious about being in each other’s lives for the foreseeable future.

Also, this family introduction was personal (for them, not for us–AKA not PR). I think we just got lucky that we got to be a small part of this wholesome/genuine moment because N’s family made the decision to go to the public Galway screening where a bunch of fans would be able to record them. That 100% wasn’t coordinated or calculated by N or the press people.

Now she might have been lying, but I personally believe N when she said in one of those London radio interviews about L/N staying in Galway during the weekend with her family to “recuperate” before the premiere. They both talked in London about how they spent time with her family after the screening, N's BIL tried to get L drunk, N (not so subtly) implying how her mom had VERY positive thoughts on L after meeting him, etc. Again, I think this speaks VOLUMES on where L/N were at emotionally at this point.

If we go on the understanding that N is jaded about romantic relationships and really private about this part of her life, having to navigate all these big new feelings for someone on a public stage was probably INCREDIBLY challenging (for both of them tbh). It was probably made even more complicated by the fact that they HAD to play up the romantic vibes to promote the show, which made people ship them like crazy (which was super easy to do because there are real feelings between them). And I think they didn't quite realize HOW obvious they had been about their feelings, but are in NO way going to go public with these feelings right now (if they are indeed working on their relationship). Why? Because it would destroy their relationship at this point in time. However, I think they gave us SOO many crumbs (Ireland being the most obvious imo) that there is real deep love and attraction for each other. For me, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck 😉

Here are my final thoughts to tie up my timeline theories on the PR tour. I personally believe the PR tour forced them to address big feelings for each other that they had been avoiding for a while. Their feelings were reciprocated. They physically acted on their feelings at various points of the tour. They had a lot of conversations in private and determined their strong feelings and attraction went past the show and their characters, and determined they wanted to move forward and figure out what their romantic feelings for each other meant. They emotionally became a lot more connected BTS, and I think they were starting to have more conversations about a POTENTIAL serious future with each other. This led to more obvious nonverbal cues that signaled there was more confidence, intimacy, and security between them, and then it culminated in the absolute goldmine that was Ireland. However, the whole situation is quite complicated because of the whole A of it all. I completely acknowledge that she is still in his life, and they are still involved in some sort of capacity. I talked about my thoughts on that though here. Therefore, I feel like they just need time in private to cook and figure everything out away from the spotlight. L/N gave us soooo many clues though on how they were feeling about each other BTS while they were on the PR tour, and if you put them all together, it tells quite the story imo 😉

[pedrospatch]

to hell and back l masterlist

Post Outbreak! Joel Miller x Female Reader

my wings are frayed 

and what’s left of my halo is black

lucky for me, your kind of heaven’s been to hell and back

MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY READER HAS NO PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION.

summary: After escaping a group of brutal slavers, you are left with permanent physical and emotional scars. Unwilling to put your trust in another human being ever again, you spend a year fighting for survival alone in the post outbreak world. But when you choose to save the life of a man named Joel Miller, the wall that you’ve built to protect yourself slowly begins to crumble.

warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. (each individual chapter will come with its own warnings this is just a general idea) canon violence, canon language, AGE GAP (reader is 30 and Joel is 56) mentions of slavers, captivity, assault, torture and brutality, mentions of physical scars, trauma, mentions of anxiety, reader is nonverbal around others, reader is nonverbal around Joel and Ellie for the first couple of chapters. angst, fluff, comfort, eventual smut. please see individual chapters for tags and warnings.

a/n: trauma, SA, PTSD, and anxiety are all sensitive and challenging subjects to write about and i hope that i can execute the idea for this series in a respectful, educated manner. PLEASE HEED ALL CHAPTER WARNINGS.

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*more chapters will be added

extras

Song Inspo: To Hell & Back - Maren Morris

Lonely Too Long - drabble

[thefourthwifeoftengenuzui]

some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!

thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, I’ll be more than happy to share my thoughts~

status: unedited

word count: 1.4k (damn that’s the most I’ve written in a hot minute)

warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man I’m sleepy

wrote this instead of studying for my physics final exam😋

🩵Aged Up Kenma Headcannons🩵~

Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but he’s also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, I’d say that he really doesn’t change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean that’s kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. That’s not to say he isn’t introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.

This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.

But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldn’t be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But that’s way later on in the relationship.

Once he’s comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year “reacting to fucked up shit with my girl” type beat.

And since we’re on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<

Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.

”shit baby you good?” he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, “c’mere baby,” and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, “gimme ten more minutes to finish this and we’ll order some takeout k?”. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)

I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of y’all doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man 😭)

ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, it’s the hill I’m willing to die on.)

If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like he’d be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like I’d be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.

Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and I’m to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, it’s hot af)

aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a “he’s an ass but I love him.” Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, “I have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, you’re not taken them off now~” or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, he’d be like, “ damn someone’s neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?” Like bro stfu I’m just tryna cuddle. Either that or he’d call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.

Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. He’s the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? “Yes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~” *gags while writing this* You’re yelling at him for some stupid thing, “I sorry my sugar booger~.”

Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)

Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, he’s a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? C’mere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything it’s that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?🙏 )

The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, “I forgot my umbrella at work… yeah I’m soaked,” and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting “that’s what she said,” not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. It’s always so easy to talk with him, unless it’s about his problems, but we ain’t gon talk about that rn, I’m feeling too fluffy.

There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5’4. And Kenma is only 5’6. Chances are, he’s not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry 😋

Tbh I don’t see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while y’all smoking pot or something, being like “yo wanna get married?” He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So y’all just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.

in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope y’all enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love y’all bastards, Thots and Enby Hots🩵

[citruswriter]

ok ok hear me out.. rottmnt boys x an autistic reader who is sensitive to / scared of loud sounds so when the 4th of July comes around the reader pretty much just starts tripping balls and on the verge of a meltdown? This happens to me often so it would mean a lot to me

ROTTMNT Boys x ND Reader during 4th of July

Listen with me! ↠ⁿᵉˣᵗ ˢᵒⁿᵍ ↺ ʳᵉᵖᵉᵃᵗ ⊜ ᵖᵃᵘˢᵉ

Warnings: Meltdown, lots of crying, nonverbalness with Raph and Donnie, fluff and comfort, neurodivergent/autistic Reader, Reader wears a bra in Donnie's section (ur wearing the fckn bra Joey).

A/N: Ok no bc last year the fireworks scared me so badly and I cried and I didn't know why bc fireworks never scared me before but I had a total meltdown and had to hide in the car while my husband gave me his noise cancelling headphones. 😭😭😭 W Husband.

It had been a long day for you. It was the 4th of July and you and your family had decided to have a potluck party. Of course you went, bringing food of your own and eating as you conversed with aunts, uncles, cousins, and the likes. After awhile the sun began to set and you decided it was time to get home before it got completely dark. Saying your goodbyes, you decided to call your favorite turtle.

"Yeah the potluck was good. The family really wants to meet you, you know?. I can only keep my boyfriend elusive for so long". You teased with a giggle. "Oh come on. You know it's not as simple as that. I'd love to meet your parents though". His voice came back. You went to reply, but a loud crack was heard in the sky, causing you to shriek. "Baby? Baby you ok?" His voice came, but it sounded far off. Your head began to spin and your chest felt tight, tears welling up in your eyes.

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I forgot about the fucking fireworks was all you thought as you stumbled back, stumbling into a nearby wall, hand clutching your phone into a death grip. "Stay right there! I'm coming to get you!"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Raphael x Reader 🧡

It wasn't long before you felt fingers wrap around your upper arms. You jerked away, sobbing and whipping your head around. "Shhhhh. It's just me, strawberry". A soothing voice came. "I'm going to pick you up ok?" All you could do was nod as Raph picked you up, pressing one ear to his chest as he covered the other with his hand. He sprang from rooftop to rooftop before finding his way to the lair.

Everything was so loud but as the two of you shimmied into the sewers, everything became muffled. "Do you wanna walk on your own?" He asked gently and you shook your head, clutching onto him for dear life. Raph nodded, carrying you down the sewer lines before reaching the lair. "I'm gonna take you to the room, ok?" He said gently, taking you to his bedroom and laying you down on his bed. "Do you need anything?" He asked and you chewed your lip in thought. He seemed to pick up on the fact that you were nonverbal.

"Do you want something to eat?" You shook your head no. "What about something to drink?" You thought before nodding. "Water?" No. "Juice?" Yes. He nodded and held out his hands. "Tap my left hand for apple juice, right hand for orange juice". He said and you thought for a moment before tapping one of his hands. He nodded and left for a moment. You pulled yourself up in a half sat up position, taking a few deep breaths to clear your still ringing head.

Your head jerked towards the door as Raph stepped back in, a glass full of juice. He smiled softly, sitting on the bed next to you and handing the glass to you. Shaky hands reached out to glass, grasping it firmly before bringing it up to your mouth to chug as much as you needed. A smack of your lips and a sigh left you before you handed the glass to him. "Thanks, Raphie." You croaked out with a soft smile.

"Anything for you." He said softly, crawling into bed with you to hold you close. "Wanna spend the night here? Pretty sure you have a few sets of jammies over here." He asked gently and you smiled up at him, hand reaching to gently cradle his jaw. "I'd love that. Thank you." You muttered before giving him a kiss.

"Anything for you, my love".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Leonardo x Reader 🧡

It seemed like only moments before a hand grabbed yours. You whipped around to see your boyfriend, tears spilling over your cheeks as he grabbed his sword to portal. He pulled you through and suddenly... everything was quiet. You gasped a breath before sobbing. "It's ok. It's ok. I've got you." Leo's soft voice came as he wrapped his arms around you. You broke down sobbing, your ears still ringing from the fireworks.

Hands gently tugged you to the bed. "Wait here." He said before springing out. You whined as he left, clutching your head, but he returned only moments later. He handed a glass of water to you and you sucked it down within seconds. "Here." His gentle voice came as he crouched down, hands reaching to slowly take off your shoes. "Movie night sound good?" He asked, looking up to you with a soft smile and you nodded.

Leo turned on his TV, letting you pick the movie before taking the blanket he had snagged and spreading it over the bed. You seemed to visibly relax as you felt the pressure of the weighted blanket press into you. "Sometimes Donnie gets overstimulated and uses a weighted blanket to calm down, so I asked him if I could borrow it for you". He said with a proud grin and you smiled up at him, hands reaching for him to drag him into bed with you.

"My hero." You said softly, voice barely above a whisper. Leo's eyes seemed to light up. Maybe he wasn't the most experienced with relationships, but he always enjoyed making you happy and meeting your needs. "I love you, mi amor". He muttered, lips pressing a kiss to your temple. You hummed back and reached your hands up to cup his cheeks, angling him so you could give him a sweet kiss.

"I love you too, Leonardo".

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Donatello x Reader 🧡

Donnie found you within seconds. His heart almost broke as he saw you shaking and sobbing. Hands slipped a device over your ears and you looked up as the world became muffled. Noise cancelling headphones. "I've got you". He signed. It took you a moment to decipher it, you weren't as good at sign as he was. But eventually you nodded and he approached you, hands hovering over your body, silently asking if it was ok to touch you. You nodded and leaned forward towards him, legs shaky. Donnie scooped you up, holding you close as he used his tech to quickly bring the both of you to the lair.

Once you made it inside, he made it clear to his brothers that he would be unavailable for the night. One glance at your trembling body and tear stained face and they immediately understood. He brought you inside the lab, laying you on his bed before taking the headphones off. "You better now?" He asked softly, hand reaching up to caress your face. You took a deep breath and nodded. "Can you talk?" He asked and you shook your head, tapping your throat. Donnie just nodded in understanding. "Can I get you anything?"

You tilted your head to the side, trying to remember the signs he had taught you. "Tea. Heavy blanket." Was all you signed before your boyfriend kissed your forehead and got to work. You leaned up against the wall, breathing deeply as you tried to calm your nerves. "Aaaaaand here you go." He said with a soft smile, handing you a cup of tea before spreading the weighted blanket over you. "If you need me, I'll be at my desk working, ok?" He said and you nodded, lifting your head for a kiss. Donnie just chuckled, bending down kiss your lips before leaving you to your own devices. You scrolled on your phone as you drank your tea, slowly relaxing more and more.

Eventually you felt sleepy, yawning and stretching your arms. The motion caught Donnie's eye and he smiled over at you lovingly before pulling himself away from his work. "Is it bedtime?" He asked and you nodded, taking off your jeans so you could lay down comfortably. "Want one of my hoodies?" He asked and you gazed up at him, blinking slowly before nodding. He went to snag a comfy sweater, coming back to see you taking off your shirt and struggling with your bra. "Let me, dove". He murmured, snapping your bra off and kissing your shoulder as he helped you slide it off before handing you the hoodie to shimmy into.

You smiled contently before laying down. Donnie took off his gear before laying down with you. "You know, I think I'm awfully tired myself." He said, snuggling into you and you looked up at him with a giggle, grabbing his face gently to pepper his face with kisses. Donnie couldn't help but let out a few chirps, nuzzling into your hands.

"You're too sweet to me, Donnie". You murmured, snuggling into him. Donnie just smiled softly, gently grasping your jaw so he could give you a bunch of kisses on your lips and cheeks. You giggled sleepily. "Mkay stawp. It bedtime". You said, speech slurred with how tired you were. Donnie smiled and held you close, hand tangled in your hair. As he watched you sleep, he couldn't help but stare at you lovingly.

"What did I do to deserve you?"

.・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜・。.

Michaelangelo x Reader 🧡

You were clutching your chest, the fireworks ringing in your head. Two hands gently grasped your shoulders and you jerked your head up, blurry vision focusing enough to see your boyfriend. You sobbed and stumbled into his arms. Clutching onto him as he opened a portal and pulled you through and into his bedroom. You collapsed to your knees, hugging yourself and rocking softly in an attempt to calm yourself. Mikey crouched down in front of you, face worried. "Hey. Hey it's ok. C-Can I touch you?" He asked gently, tone unsure.

You took a deep breath and nodded. Mikey opened his arms and tugged you into his embrace. He whispered sweet things into your ear, one hand in your hair and the other half way up your shirt as he rubbed circles on your bare side. You clutched him close, doing your best to take deep breaths and ground yourself in reality. Eventually your breathing evened out and you nuzzled into his neck. "You a bit better, sunshine?" He asked softly, nuzzling you back as you nodded. "I could really go for a shower..." You sighed out. "You wanna take one alone or are you good if I join you?" He asked softly and you hummed in thought before lifting your head. "I'd like to take one with you if that's ok".

Mikey just chirped and excitedly nodded. "Of course, sunshine." He said before rushing off to the bathroom to start a shower. You chuckled softly, digging through his dresser to get a pair of the jammies he had gotten you forever ago. "It's ready!" Came his voice. You undressed and got into the shower with him.

The two of you took your time. Him washing your hair, you scrubbing his shell, him messaging your body with the body soap, you attacking his cute face with kisses. The two of you just spent time to decompress, you especially after the meltdown you had. "Feeling better?" Mikey asked once more and you smiled softly, hugging him and resting your head on his plastron. "Much. Thank you so much". You replied.

Mikey kissed your forehead and grinned. "You wanna get some pizza and play video games after this?" He asked, hopeful that you weren't too exhausted to pass up gaming. You looked up at him mischievously and giggled. "You already know it. I'm gonna kick your ass". Mikey laughed and squeezed your sides. "Oh you're so on".

You and Mikey spent the rest of the night eating pizza and playing video games, loudly talking shit to one another and winning rounds against each other until the two of you were so tired and ready to go to bed.

"I love you so much". He churred out, fingers tracing the features of your face. You hummed and nuzzled into his wrist. "I love you too, darling." You tilted your head to place a soft kiss to his mouth. His hand slid up to your face, gently deepening the kiss before pulling away and snuggling into you.

"My beautiful angel".

Haiiiiiii. Hope ya'll enjoyed dis. Fanks and byeeeeeee.

[horror-sapphic]

NSFW ALPHABET | WANDA MAXIMOFF

a/n: Sorry for any errors, I barley checked over this.

Cw: NSFW themes (18+)

A — ( aftercare ) - Wanda LOVES to lay on your chest/ having you lay on hers, depending on how rough it got between you two, the night will end with a simmer in the tub before bed.

B — ( body part ) - On you, Wanda loves your hands, constantly craving to be held and touched by them. She daydreams about them wrapped around her, your pretty painted fingers spreading her folds open to get more access to her eager clit.

C — ( cum ) - When she takes control, she loves to make sure you're overstimulated until your swollen pussy is so sensitive you can't even close your legs. Then she leaves you in bed, squirming in your own cum.

D — ( dirty secret ) - When she's out doing chores/at work, she looks around for all the places she can bend you over to fuck you in public.

E — ( experience ) - You both have equal experience, but she's definitely a bit more "skilled".

F — (favorite position ) - She loves watching you bounce and ride her cock, looking down to where it connects inside of you just to watch it slide easily in and out of your soaked pussy and using her thumb to rub over your raised clit peaking out. She loves grabbing your hips to help you keep your rhythm. While taking turns sucking on both of your tits.

G — ( goofy ) - She can be pretty unserious during sex, the only time she's not is when she's in domme mode.

H — ( hair ) - She loves to pull on yours when you eat her out, or when she’s in full Domme mode she loves to pull on it as a way to keep you put.

I — ( intimacy ) - She loves morning sex when it’s just the two of you hazily getting each other off with a gentle touches , soft slow breaths against one another.

J — ( jack off ) - When you're away she'll definitely tune into the homemade tapes you both decided to make a while back, furiously rubbing against her aching clit to the sight of you cumming against her in the videos.

K — ( kink ) - Calling her mommy when she fucks you dumb turns her on more than she'd like to admit, having you whimper out that name while on the brink of cumming on her command just makes her want to ruin you.

L — ( location ) - Everywhere in the house you can think of, Wanda has yet to take you out and have people pass by while she plows into your leaking cunt.

M — ( motivation ) - Sitting back and watching you do things around the house can get her started.

N — ( no's ) - The thought of sharing you with anyone is a hard no for her, you're hers and hers only.

O — ( oral sex ) - Her favorite way to wake you up in the mornings, and to put you to sleep. Her mouth is always fixed on the clit of your pussy, flicking and sucking about.

P — ( pace ) - Oh fuck. When Wanda wants to, she can drag fucking you out for hourrrs. She loves to edge you, watching you on all fours with your cunt literally dripping onto the sheets while you desperately rock back and forth trying to get her to slip back into you.

Q — ( quickie ) - Just like she can go as long as she wants to, she can go pretty fast too. Just pummeling into your pussy fucking it raw to get you off fast, and hard enough to the point where you end up going nonverbal for a little.

R — ( risk ) - Has yet to be risky but wants to, be later in the relationship.

S — ( stamina ) - Going all through the night won't faze her, it's you who has to take a break from her.

T — ( toys ) - Using toys is a common thing in the bedroom for you guys, all sorts of strapons/dildos, plugs, vibrators. You too are constantly using them on each other or on yourselves.

U — ( unfair ) - She loves to tease, she will leave you dripping, waiting for her to come back and make you cum after doing various house tasks.

V — ( volume ) - You always end up louder than you want to, but there have been times when Wanda lets you top and she's the one squirming and whining to come. She can get pretty loud.

W — ( wildcard ) - There is never a dull moment in your sex life with her, she's always making you reach new heights, whether that's making you squirt for the first time, having you take anal for the first time, having you be the one to give her strap (which was your first time), or cumming over and over again until you felt like you melted into your bed.

X — ( x-ray ) —

Y — ( yearning ) - She always wants you to be near her, whenever you're not, she'll look through her photos of you. Until the two of you are reunited.

Z — ( Zzz ) - She enjoys watching your chest rise and fall after a long session, this eases her to sleep but you'd be the one to fall asleep first.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Wasted Love {Part II}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Warning: Language, High Angst

Words: 6.3k

Summary: Nope.

Note: Posted the first part of this months back and finally getting around to part 2. I hope you like it. Look out for the final part.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it!

As you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!! ❤️❤️

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

Previous: Wasted Time |

-Lewis-

"For fuck's sake!” He threw the controller across the room.  When it collided with the floor it shattered sending pieces everywhere. "Woah. Woah! What the hell?!” Andrew, Miles, and Daniel all looked at him with varying expressions of confusion, shock, and concern. "Yo, what the fuck is your problem? It’s just an L in MK," Andrew said. He sighed then rubbed his face, pressing a little harder than necessary. "Like we can go again, and I'll let you win if it's that serious," Miles said. He sighed again, his head miles, leaps, and bounds away from the video game, the living room, or his friends. His mind was still in that penthouse suite with you standing in front of him as you argued going back and forth both pushing and neither relenting even a little. His head was still there picking apart every word, every expression, every shuddered breath, every pupil dilation. "Yo, Lewis," Daniel called bringing his attention back to them. "Nah, this can't be about the game. Even you're not that petty," Miles said putting his controller down. "What's up?" He rolled his head around cracking each joint in his neck and shoulders. He hadn't realized until now how wound up he'd been over the last 2 and a half weeks. He also hadn’t realized how steadily his anger and frustrations were climbing too. What was him being in disbelief for the first few days after the confrontation turned into anger then annoyance. Right now he was festering and stewing in all three. He couldn’t believe that after everything you'd been through, everything you'd shared, the lengthy conversations, the trips to and from each of your homes, the late-night phone and video calls that lasted for hours and hours, the dates, the trips, the interactions with his family and him yours, all of it, you were here.

While he had thought you were building and strengthening and growing toward each other despite his insane schedule and lack of free time, that wasn't the case at all. If you had then there was no way you could have said the shit you did or believed he would do some shit like that. "Dude," Andrew began. "It's nothing," he lied. "Bullshit. It's not racing that's been going good, it's not the other hustles either. What, is it Y/N?" His entire body tensed at the mention of your name. That was different. Before, your name brought him peace, a smile and so much more. "Bingo. What is it? Haven't seen her in a few weeks, she too busy for your ass and you salty for it?" He was used to Daniel’s teasing, and usually, he would laugh it up and allow them to bust his chops, but right now Daniel was rubbing on a sensitive topic. Before he realized it he'd kissed his teeth. That action made all three of them perk up. "What's wrong?" "We're done," he blurted out as if the words were acrid acid on his tongue. They were quiet for a few moments, then Miles broke it. "Done? Fuck outta here. You're lying." "I'm for real,” he replied with a touch of exasperation in his voice. "What? What happened?" He sighed again then told them the whole story not leaving out anything. He wanted to hear their thoughts mainly because he felt they would take his side. As he went through the whole thing again he had to admit to himself that there were some things he shouldn't have said, things that he recognized fueled your ruthlessness, things he now regretted. When he'd said his piece he waited for them to tune in, however, a good minute passed before any of them said a word. They just exchanged looks as if speaking nonverbally and trying to come to a consensus. "She fucked up right." Daniel made a face. "IIIIIIII mean," he stretched out in that high-pitched tone that said even more.

"Hold on,” Andrew interrupted, “Has something changed? I thought you were all about her these last months. I thought since she finally gave you the time you were being real.”

“I was—am—was. Shit.”

“You slipped up?”

“No! It was nothing, it was work.”

They all gave him the look as if he was full of shit. Kissing his teeth again he rolled his eyes. “I’m telling the truth. It was work, nothing more. Hell I even told them that when they tried to tag team off each other to spit game. I told them I was seeing someone, and it was getting serious, and I wasn’t bout that life anymore.”

“That’s what I thought,” Miles said.

“I didn’t even know she was there. She showed me some fucked picture and she ran with that shit.”

“What picture?”

He opened his messages, found the picture then showed it to them. You’d sent it to him a few hours after you’d left when he texted you that, “You were fucking things up”, your reply was the picture and a simple reply, “Naw bruh you did that shit all on your own. Own it!” It was the last message you’d sent him. It was now almost 3 weeks later, and you were still radio silent.

“Woah, yeah. That looks bad,” Andrew spat out.

Daniel took his phone and studied the picture closer. “Is she kissing your neck?”

“No.”

Miles now snatched the phone and studied it. “And her hand--.”

“No. Nothing happened. The wild shit is this was a backroom photoshoot for the brand. We were posing for the designer for their social marketing.”

“Does she know that?”

“I don’t know. I shit you not, she blew in like a hurricane and within 10 minutes she was gone. She didn’t let me explain. Nothing. Someone sent her that picture.”

“Someone wanted to start shit and she took the bait.”

“9 months. 9 fucking months I’ve been bending backward trying to erase my past for her. 9 months I’ve been putting in wild effort to show her, prove to her I’m not the same dude I used to be, 9 months I’ve been going hard trying to show her what she meant to me and that I’m not fucking around when it comes to her, but 10 minutes and it all blew the fuck up. Now I’m angry, what the fuck was I doing this whole time? Why?”

They didn’t bother replying because there was nothing else to say. They knew everything he was saying was true. He’d cut out all the extra shit months ago because he wanted to get closer to you. He’d decided to be the committing type and he was happy to do it, happy to show you he was more than his reputation. He’d turned on plenty of trips, parties, and things of the kind with his boys because it would have backfired. He’d worked hard to earn your trust but in truth, he hadn’t earned anything. You still saw him as he used to be. And that was the hard pill for him to swallow.

~~~~~~~

-1 Week Later-

“Uncle Lewis let’s go in the pool.”

Snapping out of it, he smiled at his niece then nodded. “Of course princess, let’s go.”

He walked to the edge of the pool and stood beside her. As they prepared his nephew approached and began doing the same thing. As they counted down from three he jumped at 2.

“Aw, Uncle Lewis you cheated!”

He shrugged and watched them leap into the water creating massive miniature splashes of the one he’d just created. When they emerged they came after him trying to attack him like little baby sharks. Each of their attempts was blocked and turned around on them. When one failed he grabbed the other and tossed them across the pool then did the same for the other. Soon there was almost just as much water outside the pool as there was inside.

By the time he got out of the pool the sun was setting and he was exhausted. Dropping himself into one of the lounge chairs, he sighed and allowed himself to relax. However, relaxation wasn’t in the cards for him. Though the activity from before worked to distract him from his heavy thoughts, now with the absence of said activity it all came flooding back. With an exasperated grunt, he grabbed his phone off of the side table and then went to his socials.

As he aimlessly scrolled through the posts he liked a few and kept swiping. Some of the posts he registered others he didn’t. Within a few short minutes, he somehow found himself on yours. He didn’t even notice until he was staring at one of your recent posts, a picture of yourself staring deeply into the camera. It looked like something shot for a brand or a photoshoot rather than a natural selfie.

For several moments all he thought of was how fucking gorgeous you were. The saying ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul’ rang true for you because every time he gazed into them he was always pulled into their depths to drown in their beauty. Fuck, he missed you he thought to himself. On the 4th post he’d landed on he sighed seeing you laughing uncontrollably with your best friend. You looked like you hadn’t a care in the world; like you were blissfully happy. The thought hit him then that you looked like you didn’t miss him one bit.

Acknowledging that made his heart thud painfully then his annoyance was back. It was just like you to leave him to fall apart while you escaped with carefreeness. He’d always suspected that he felt more for you than you felt for him. He guessed that this was his proof. He tapped the tag in the photo of your best friend and found even more videos and pictures of you. The backdrop said you were either on an island or some European seaside town and you were enjoying yourself. He pressed his finger to the screen, freezing the video on your smiling face. Drinking wasn’t really his thing, but fuck did he want a drink or three right now.

“You’re messing yourself up.”

Snapping his head up, he found his mother sitting beside him.

“Mum.”

“Not only are you messing yourself up with everything you’re keeping in but you’re trying to use everything you possibly can as an escape, case in point this last-minute trip,” she finished.

“Mum, it’s not like--.”

“And according to Miles and Daniel, you’re spiraling inside, and it’s not a little.”

“I’m fine, mum, I promise,” he half lied placing his phone on the side table face up.

“You’re not. How could you be fine? The first woman you’ve allowed yourself to fall in love with in years has done a flip and turn because of your actions.”

His brow rose, “What?”

“Acceptance of one’s actions is important, Lewis. I have always taught you that.”

“Naw. Nope, I didn’t do this. I didn’t make this happen. She is a distrustful person.” He sat up straighter then, “I worked my butt off to show her she could trust me, to show her that I wanted her and only her.”

His mother shook her head about that. “If you’re still doing the things you know are triggers for her, how are you proving anything?”

He looked at her incredulously. He knew she liked you a lot and had grown closer to you over the past months, but he didn’t know when she’d completely jumped on your ship while abandoning his.

“Mum, I can’t control half the things she thinks,” he pleaded.

“The pictures Lewis. The pictures and your choice of words.”

He sighed then because he knew that she’d talked to you already. He was tempted to ask his mother for the play-by-play, but he decided against it knowing she probably wouldn’t go for it.

“It was innocent. It was work.”

“Did you tell her that? You know someone sent her those pictures? Someone wanted to start problems and it was too easy because you helped them along.”

“I tried to tell her, but she basically called me a liar. She looked me in my eyes and decided not to believe me. Plus it’s a lot more than she ever afforded me. She’s photographed with a lot of guys all the time; some work, some not, she doesn’t explain any of it to me, yet I trust her enough to believe it’s not something wild or disrespectful. Yet when it comes to me, I’m automatically the knob.”

“Lewis,” she warned.

He raised his hand, sighed out then leaned back in the chair.

“Sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Sorry.”

They sat in silence for a few moments before he continued. “She treats me like an option mum--a bloody option. This whole year, the 9 we’ve been together and the 3 it took to claim her, I’ve treated her like my only choice.”

The truth to those words was a truth he’d buried deep. His mother reached over and took his hand.

“Sweetie,” she began.

He knew what was coming, knew she was either going to defend you or try to soothe the pain he felt. He didn’t want either.

“She acts like I never said the words.”

Another truth he’d buried. “I said them, I meant them and she--she never said them back, never even acknowledged them.”

That night was still fresh in his mind. The night when his body and heart felt matched perfectly, it was the night he’d said the words he’d felt for weeks and weeks before. He’d stared deeply into your eyes and said them. ‘I love you.’ He’d meant them. He didn’t know he could still truly feel that way about anyone or feel enough to say the words. You’d proven him wrong, and he was cut up because of it.

 “Lewis, I’m thrilled that you’ve finally found someone that you want in your life for more than a few months. It makes me so happy that you have found someone to love. She is a wonderful woman, but, who cares what she does? If this is how you feel how you truly feel, if she is who you choose and wholeheartedly want beside you then you are supposed to be with it be about her no matter what.”

“Seriously!? No.”

“That my love, is the difference between a boy and a grown man. A grown man is one hundred percent true to what’s in here,” she reached over then pat his chest just over his heart. “He is about it, and nothing changes it because it does not matter.”

“How—H--how do I do that? How in the world do I put myself out there--,” he voiced before she cut him off.

“--And invite her to break your heart? Is she worth the risk?”

He didn’t want to open his mouth to even answer this. If you weren’t worth it, he wouldn’t have spent so much time perusing you. He never would have made so much of an effort to include you in his world and life, he wouldn’t have waited 6 fucking months to sleep with you so both of you were sure where your hearts were, he wouldn’t have ever told you he loved you. Of course, you were worth it but the memory of the look in your eyes as you spoke to him, the last thing you’d said to him held part of him back.

“I have always been and will always be that bitch with or without you.”

That coupled with the way you looked at him just before the elevator doors closed held him back.

“Lewis!”

“I—I don’t—I don’t know anymore.”

He rubbed his forehead. “I thought I knew, thought I was so sure, I was sure, but--I don’t.”

This was fucked, he thought as he felt his mother’s eyes boring into him. When she stood she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him as she did when he was a child after a spill. He took a deep breath and slowly let it out while he relished this comforting embrace.  It was in his mother’s loving and judgment-free arms he finally broke letting it all go.

Hours seemed to pass this way, or perhaps it had been just mere minutes. When his sister approached he felt heaps better but his heart was still heavy. A notification from his phone drew his attention as his sister sat on the floor before him. As he checked it, his sister gave her best attempt at a pep talk. Some words he caught others he missed but the sentiment was sometimes time helped people see the error of their ways and come up with ways to fix the errors. He didn’t know if she meant his errors or yours.

He went into his socials DMs and found a message from your best friend. After hesitating for a few moments he tapped into it and found a video. It took him to a recent video that was only available to her close friends. Your face came into view, and he instantly noticed the tears on your cheeks. You held your hand up to block the camera view, but the angle only changed.

“When bestie is tired of frontin' for the gram with the having the time of my life posts and allows herself to be sad and you gotta cheer her up,” your best friend said.

“Stop. You can’t record me like this. I’m not sad,” you protested.

“No?”

You were quiet for a few seconds. “No.”

Your voice was clouded as if your throat was tight words struggled to make it through. “Not sad—really, really sad,” you said voice a sobbing whine.

Fuck, he thought. He hated seeing you cry.

“What—what do I—do I do now?”

“Allow yourself to feel it,” your friend suggested.

You sobbed some more, and he watched your friend hug you before the video ended. So many things flew through his mind but the two things that kept coming around. The first was how much he missed you.

The second, you were worth it.

~~~~~~

-Y/N-

Everyone said that the first month of a breakup was always the hardest and those words were proving true. Since those elevator doors had closed you’d done everything to keep yourself moving. You piled on work to make sure you had no free time to sit and think. However, that didn’t quite work because wherever you went, something reminded you of him. Either it was a café or a location you went to for a shoot, or even something you ate. You nearly threw yourself into the ocean when one of the set interns brought you a glass of Almave.

When work didn’t prove successful, you picked yourself and your friends up for a girls’ trip to a faraway island. You drank, partied, and posted it all on your socials hoping you could fake it till you made it, but the faking became too much. By nightfall every night, you wallowed with a bottle or two of wine.

While you were beyond pissed at Lewis you also knew that picture was sent to you on purpose. You weren’t an idiot and had dealt with plenty of conniving, duplicitous bitches in your days. You knew someone was trying to fuck with you and start shit and you were giving them what they wanted. That didn’t matter because none of that changed the content of the photo.

Every time you came back to that no matter how much of your anger had dissipated, it all came back with that one nugget of fact. It was straight-up disrespect. If the tables had been turned and it was you, Lewis would have made a huge fuss over it by being extra petty. You refused to believe you were in the wrong, but several bits of your interaction tried to come through to show you had been in the wrong for a few things.

You were a passionate person and usually when arguing that passion shines through and oftentimes you get reckless at the mouth not caring how your words are thrown together or the force of those words. You knew you fought dirty; it was the only way you knew how. You blamed it on the years of living a single and independent life after one of the worst breakups of your life. It had caused more damage than good. You’d had no one to answer to, no one to consider or consult and you oftentimes still lived there in your head. It was a major switch to flip and a switch you failed, more times than you liked to admit, to flip.

You knew that night you’d said whatever came to mind and didn’t care if the words hurt. In fact, you said some things to cause pain and that was the source of your regret. Lewis had often told you throughout your 9-month relationship that your mouth would get you in trouble in more ways than one. He’d warned you about your recklessness and told you he wouldn’t stand for it because if he really wanted he could get just as reckless as you.

That was one of the things you loved about him. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bullshit and put you in your place when you got into your bad girlfriend mode.

Sighing, you raised the glass of wine to your lips and guzzled until it was empty. Your eyes fell to the now empty wine bottle, and you debated with yourself over getting another. It was the 2nd bottle of the night, and you knew if you got a 3rd you’d have entered lush territory, but you didn’t care enough to resist. So you slinked across the kitchen to the wine fridge and grabbed another bottle of wine, but before you closed it you grabbed one more just in case.

After you’d popped the cork and filled your glass to the brim your phone went off with a security notification. Checking the application, you reviewed the notice of someone entering your code into your security gate.

“What the hell?”

Another notification came in informing you a car was pulling up the drive. You went over the registered movements watching the videos to figure out if you had a security breach or if someone was just showing up unannounced. On the 3rd video, you realized who it was.

“No fucking way.”

You walked out of the kitchen, through your home, and to your front door. Before you got there, the bell rang. Once you turned the corner you saw who it was through the intricately decorated glass doors. Lewis Hamilton. Neither of you moved. You stood there staring at each other. You couldn’t read the expression in his brown eyes, but you could read the dark circles underneath them and his lackluster complexion. He looked slightly sick but also indifferent. You couldn’t help but wonder if he was having as hard a time as you were. You’d purposely stayed off his and his friends' accounts to avoid any excessive thoughts of him.

Lewis didn’t move a muscle, he patiently waited for you to make your move. It was a move you didn’t know how to make. You’d be a liar if you said you hadn’t wanted him to run after you and fight some more, but you also didn’t want to see him again. So one hand itched to grab the knob and open the door for him but the other hand wanted to override the security system and shutter down your house.

You closed your eyes and took several deep breaths giving your body control to see which side won. When your hand wrapped around the knob you wanted to break it. Once you opened the door, you snapped your eyes open.

“What the hell are you doing here? How did you get past my gate?”

Lewis scoffed and slightly shook his head before speaking, “Let me in, Y/N.”

You scrunched your face and doubled down on your annoyance. “What? Not a chance in hell. Answer me. How?”

When your best friend's name came out of his mouth your eyes bugged. There was no way.

“Bullshit! There is no way my best friend would give you my security code for my gate without letting me know. There is no way!”

He looked unamused now.

“Yet she did.”

You studied him still shocked.

“Let me in.”

“No. Why would I do that? We have nothing to talk about.”

“I think we have a lot to talk about.”

You scoffed. “Five weeks too late. Anything I had to say was said already. We’ve both said enough. You should go 44.”

Lewis took a sharp breath in and released it. As it came out it sounded like a hiss. “Oh boy. Y/N, stop talking! For real just stop—fucking talking and let me in!”

“What the fuck?! Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to? Do I fucking look like one of your side bitches, or your groupies?!”

From the heat rushing through you, you could tell that your anger was beginning to really boil now. With quick moves, Lewis moved from his side of the door to close the space between you. Before you knew it, he had one of his hands cupping your skull and his lips pressed to yours. Like magic as if on command you stopped moving and any thought of protest faded, hell any thought at all faded.

Lewis’ lips moved against yours in a way you’d found yourself missing the last five weeks. He kissed you like a starved man, like a man who’d come back to claim what was his and your body reacted in the only way it had ever reacted—eager acceptance.

A small whimper escaped you and that was when Lewis backed off. You kept your eyes closed relishing the feelings that had now bubbled up within you, feelings you’d been working overtime to suppress and ignore. One kiss was all it took for the geyser to erupt.

“You talk to fucking much for your own good,” Lewis whispered.

You could feel the whisps of his breath against your face and picked up the scent of mint, and some form of berry. You tried to control your breathing so he wouldn’t see how much he still affected you. Opening your eyes, you peered into his glossy doe ones.

“You’ve said more than enough. I still have shit to say. So listen.”

Lewis then squeezed your hip bringing you back to the present. It was then you realized your body was pressed to his and his hand was gripping you holding you against him controlling your body like he always did. Shit, you thought. You loved when he took control, loved how he always knew how to shut you up when you got into one of your what he would call Y/N fits. Lewis squeezed your hip once more while biting his bottom lip and you wanted to knee him in the balls because of how easy it still was for him to turn you on.

As if he knew it too, Lewis released you as quickly as he’d grabbed you and walked into your house. A shiver rushed through you making you shudder. Asshole, you thought while you closed and locked your door. When turned around he was standing there waiting for you. Rolling your eyes, you led the way back to the kitchen. Once there you grabbed your glass and finished it.

“Speak.”

Lewis scoffed. “Don’t test me, Y/N.”

Clenching your jaw you refilled your glass then watched him with slightly narrowed eyes. You were not going to make any of this easy for him.

“I’m tired of these subs you keep throwing my way. So fucking tired of it. It’s like you enjoy being cold and evil to me and that’s not even cool. I’ve never taken joy in being cold to you.”

Shaking your head you took another sip from your glass.

“I’ve known you for years. Yeah, it wasn’t like we were in the same friend group, but we were cordial. I’ve wanted you the entire time I’ve known you. Yeah, yeah, I was messing with other women throughout that time.”

“Messing? Just say fucking. Call a spade a spade and move the fuck on,” you blurted out.

“Again, stop talking!”

His voice bounced around the kitchen, but you didn’t feel fear. You’d never feared him. You knew he wasn’t one of those men who hit women. That had never and would never be him. Narrowing your eyes, you took a large gulp of your wine, your conflicting feelings wreaking havoc on you.

“You act like you don’t have a past or even things from your past you’re ashamed of. Shit Y/N! I’ve told you I am not that man anymore, I’ve changed.”

“I don’t believe you.”

The silence stretched and you kept your eyes on him. He looked hurt but also frustrated. “I get that, and I’ve been killing myself by doing what I can to prove it to you, to show you I deserve your time.”

Shaking your head you scoffed. “You don’t have to prove shit else, Lewis. I have all the proof I need; I saw it all in that picture!”

“The picture was bullshit. Tell me you don’t get someone is fucking with you.”

“Again why do they want to do that Lewis? Huh! Is it because of your thot ass!”

“Oh my god, here we go again! Stop throwing my past in my face. I’ve owned it and have walked away from it. That picture was bullshit. I was working. What that picture doesn’t show--.”

You grabbed the wine bottle and began walking away. “I don’t give a shit anymore!”

Lewis’ hand wrapped around your wrist stopping your movement. “It was a photoshoot, Y/N. Someone took a picture of an impromptu photoshoot and sent it to you out of context.”

You scanned his eyes for any sign of a lie.

“You’re lying.”

“I have never lied to you. I swear it. You can even go to the brand owner and find out, it’s easy to do.”

You couldn’t believe that. “You’re lying Lewis.”

“I’m not. I told you I would never do some shit like that to you.”

You kept scanning his eyes unable to wrap your head around what he was saying. He had to be lying. Right?

“Look--,” he began dropping his hand and releasing you. With a sigh, he continued, “I came here to give you this.”

He then pulled something from his back pocket and held it out to you. The large brown envelope in his hand looked like doom in the form of an office supply.

“This is the last goddamn time I’m going to have you throw my past in my face. The last fucking time, Y/N. It’s not fair and I shouldn’t have to explain shit to you because this was before you and has nothing to do with us, here or now, but for some fucking reason I feel like I have to, and it irks the shit out of me especially since you don’t give me the same courtesy.”

His words felt like dull blades whipping against your skin. That flared your anger.

“You don’t have to explain shit to me.”

“Shut up!”

That was it. Though you liked it when he stood up to you, you hated feeling this backed into a corner, especially with the truths he’d just dropped.

“Listen, you’re not gonna be--.”

That was all you got out before Lewis’ lips were pressed to yours once again and again everything stopped. His lips manipulated you making you slump back against the wall you hadn’t realized you were pressed to. Lewis’ large hand squeezed your hip once again and you’d never wanted to strip someone more than him right now. When he pulled his lips from yours he kept his forehead to yours.

“You’ve never fucked with a guy like me. I told you that 9 months ago and it’s still true. I’m not going to just let you talk to me any old way. Those other fools were weak as fuck. I’m not weak. I can handle your ass,” Lewis said.

He didn’t need to say shit else because you were now turned the fuck on. Your eyes locked and it took everything in you to remain composed though his lips looked more and more tempting with each passing second.

“Are you listening now?”

You had no words.

“I’m done with that life. It’s boring, it’s old and to be honest it weighs me the fuck down. I want you and it goes past sex, it goes past claiming you or getting a notch, or even letting the world know I got you. None of that matters to me, it never has. I want you. I want Y/N. I’ve been real this entire time.”

Again he pushed out the envelope to you.

“After I give you this it’s all in your hands, your court, your decision. I’ll chase you but I’ll only chase you so far. This is how far.”

Your eyes dropped to the envelope between your bodies, but you didn’t reach for it. You couldn’t. You were actually scared of it and what it may hold. Glancing back at him, you studied his face.

“Your decision, make it. If it’s not me then cool. No hard feelings, we’re still friends and I’ll wish you nothing but the best but,” Lewis paused then cupped your chin as he pressed himself against you more. With his face mere centimeters from yours, he finished, “My lips will not touch yours until you come to me for it.”

Holy shit, you thought to yourself.

“Our next kiss if it’s in the cards will be done by you, not me.”

From the look in his eyes, you could tell he was serious. You could tell he meant this with everything. He was done chasing you, done giving and giving only to have you keep him at a distance. Fuckity, fuck, you thought.

“Are you gonna take it?”

You wanted to shake your head, but you couldn’t move. It was like he was the headlights, and you were the deer. You recognized the fear you felt. You knew it was do or die and you knew this was the moment of truth for your relationship. With what he’d told you about the picture being a set up you were more confused than ever. Rightfully, he shouldn’t even be here right now, not after your conversation before and how it all went down. He was still here trying to get you back.

You slowly took the envelope with a shaky hand, the only tell of your fear. Lewis slowly backed away from you while keeping his eyes on yours. When he was a few feet away he turned and began walking out of the kitchen.

“So that’s it?”

Lewis stopped then looked back at you. His expression was different now. You could tell how hurt he was now, how much you’d hurt him.

“You tell me, Y/N.”

You didn’t know what to tell him, so you didn’t say anything. Lewis nodded, the disappointment filling his eyes before he turned from you and walked away. You stood there listening to him walk through your house, his footsteps getting further and further away. When you heard the door close you released breath you didn’t know you were holding. The notification sounds from your phone told you that he’d driven down the drive and left the property.

It was then you put the envelope on the kitchen counter and took several deep breaths trying to calm yourself. No matter how many breathing exercises you did you still couldn’t calm down. Your mind raced replaying the conversation, dissecting every move, word, and glance, and analyzing it against every other conversation over the last 9 months. When your legs gave way from the weight of it all, you dropped to the floor. One question kept screaming in your head.

Had it all truly been wasted love or was there still hope?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[lewkwoodnco]

the tortured poets department - george karim x reader

George stiffened and shut his eyes regretfully as if he couldn’t bear to see that look on her face. A faint flush started creeping up his throat, peeking out from behind his starchy collar. “Don’t,” he whispered.

“Tell me,” she pressed, taking yet another step closer until their noses were barely an inch apart, “who else is going to know me? Truly know me?”

He let go of the breath he was holding and it fluttered across her cheek like the ghost of a kiss. They were venturing into intolerably intimate territory, and she could feel her pulse racing under the distracted brush of his thumb on her wrist.

a/n - HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH thats it thats the a/n also happy birthday to ali hadji-hesmati ia m NOT late shut up

tropes/warnings - slight nsfw towards the end (idk tho??), angst (what else is new lmao), tw slight mention of suicide, ft locklyle wedding (a bit) happy ending tho, i am very sick wrote this entirely on my phone and cannot be held accountable for any of this

word count - 3.7k!

TAGLIST | MASTERLIST

Who uses typewriters anyway?

That was what she had mouthed at her friend from across the Fittes office. They were brand new hires; scribes assigned to different researchers under an apprenticeship programme. Things were off to a rougher start than she had expected. From what she could see, her friend had been assigned to a perfectly normal-looking researcher who, now that introductions were complete, was explaining his filing system to her.

On the other hand, the first thing her oddly intense researcher had asked was if she knew how to use a typewriter. She had laughed, thinking it was a joke, before very quickly realising that he was being perfectly serious. He started explaining how the contraption worked far too quickly for her to catch anything, and she had taken the chance to shoot her friend a look.

“L/N?”

She whipped her head back around, immediately apologetic. “Sorry. I think I get how it works now.” Really, it was just bad luck that she had gotten the short end of the stick.

The next thing she learnt, over many months, was how to pick up on and decrypt George’s nonverbal cues. Namely, knowing what his every sigh, muttering or frown meant. While it had felt frustrating similar to banging her head against a wall in the beginning, he started to grow on her. Learning how George Karim ticked was like figuring out an intriguing puzzle all on her own. Besides, he wasn’t unkind. He could be understanding, so long as he had the patience for it on that particular day.

But there were times when she decided that no, he wasn’t all that compassionate of a coworker. Particularly on nights when he’d have her write up chapters worth of research summarised from his scrawled notes. And woe betide her should she make one too many mistakes.

Who the hell uses typewriters anyway?

"Do you ever think about leaving Fittes?"

Her typing stopped abruptly, her flickering train of thought completely demolished by George's appalling suggestion. They were sitting at their adjacent desks at the Fittes office, her typing up the previous night's case report while George twiddled his thumbs and fiddled with a pen in increasingly creative ways.

"Leave? And go where?"

She followed the line of his hateful stare towards one of the thick metal doors along the corridor which led to a more restricted part of the offices. Like most others, she felt no pressing inclination to snoop around and stumble upon information she would rather not find. But for someone like George, she could practically see how it gnawed at him - libraries of secrets just begging to be known.

Her gaze flitted anxiously between his face and the door. It was both a frightening and thrilling thing when George decided to put his mind to something, using his brain at its full capacity in some sincerely earnest hunt for knowledge. It was also the thing that was going to get him killed sooner or later, mesmerising as he was. It. Mesmerising as it was.

"Start our own agency. Play by our rules."

She laughed nervously, too artificial even for her own ears as she wrung her stiff hands. George's voice had a distant quality to it that told her he was on the way to making some very bad decisions if she didn't step in soon. "Oh, George, you say the…the darnedest things. You're no Tom Rotwell, you know."

"You're not Marissa Fittes yourself, either."

"Rude."

His gaze flickered to her at that, the barest hint of a smile ghosting his lips as the tension in his shoulders dissolved. She visibly relaxed as well, satisfied that it would be a decent while before he once again latched onto this bizarre notion.

Which was why his abrupt switch in employment to some small, crumbling agency had left her more than shell-shocked. Coming into work on a normal, gloomy Monday and seeing George's desk cleared out and painfully sterile of the ideas and theories he buzzed with left her feeling lost at sea in the worst way. And he didn't bother to reach out to her either - not a call, not a letter, not a visit.

That is, not a visit until he turned up at her door in the middle of the night, pale as the Visitors that skulked outside her door.

"Sorry.”

For one stupidly miraculous moment, she thought he might be apologising for a month’s worth of grey days and sleepless nights.

“I know it’s late, but I think I left my typewriter here."

She felt stupidly disappointed.

"You're making a mess of my - what are you doing?"

George had located his otherwise untouched typewriter positioned at one corner of her dining table and was now furiously typing away, a sickly, pallid sheen to his forehead.

"Don't worry, I'll be qui -"

"Karim."

His typing faltered, and for once he had the decency to look marginally embarrassed.

“Sit down. Start from the beginning.”

So he did. He told her everything about some Type Two case at 62 Sheen Road, short of coming out and saying that he had put his associates' lives in danger, but she could hear it in his voice. It was an almost welcome return to the old days of picking out the relevant parts while his mind ran ahead at the speed of light; so much to think and agonise over. When his voice finally started to run thin, she fetched him a cup of tea, taking a moment to process it all.

"Okay, so, if I have this right, none of this is your fault. No - don't argue with me. Drink your tea. You told him to wait, that you needed more time.“

He mumbled something incoherent as he pulled off his glasses, dragging a hand across his eyes, looking far too young and worn. He glanced up to meet her gaze, the look on his face as much of a wreck as the rest of him. He looked down again, staring at his hands splayed on her dining table. George never was one for letting his feelings show, let alone hysterics, and it rubbed at something raw to see him spiralling this badly.

“They’d be better off with a researcher who could actually do his job.”

She suppressed the overwhelming urge to roll her eyes.

“Oh, please, this has nothing to do with being altruistic. This is just you trying to punish yourself over something that isn’t even your fault.”

He showed no sign of having heard her. She sighed and slid into the seat next to his, her fingers nearly brushing his.

“Look - what's done is done. Possibly the worst thing you could do now is leave them in the lurch like this. Of course, it's not going to be smooth sailing throughout, but you made a commitment, so for the love of God keep your head up and stick it through.” She reached out to loosely cover his wrist. “Okay?”

George stayed silent but glanced up at her. Okay. She pulled her hand away. He finished the last of his tea and stood.

“I should get going, I suppose.”

She looked out the window, eyeing the eerie green glow of the ghost lamps critically. “It’s a bit late, don’t you think? Not very safe.”

“I have my rapier on me.”

The corners of her mouth tightened.

“I’d feel better if you left in the morning.”

And so they ended up in her living room, him sitting on the floor and her sitting on the couch, dragging her fingers through his soft curls. They talked about everything and nothing, like the recent layoffs at Rotwell’s and what George’s new associates were like. He made them sound marvellous. It was obvious why he’d leave Fittes. Why he’d leave her.

“The three of us…we live at 35 Portland Row.”

“Mhm.”

“And there’s this doughnut shop down the street from there.”

She lightly scraped his scalp teasingly.

“So that’s why you left.”

She could feel him smile despite himself.

“We should go, someday. You’d love it.”

A vision trickled into her imagination - she and George standing at the end of some empty cobblestoned road with soft, pillowy doughnuts dripping sugar down their knuckles, sprinkles melting into their fingerprints. It’s evening, and the sun is almost painfully intense, beating down a lovely glow over the scene. She’s distantly aware of the impending danger of the rapidly approaching nighttime, but for now, George is standing in front of her in a soft shirt, the edges of his face kind and blunt, the almost permanent furrow of his brow melted away in the liquid sun, reaching out to swipe a thumb at the corner of her mouth -

“Get some rest.” Her voice was thick with a longing for such golden yet treacherously illusory days. George leaned back, resting his head on the couch with half-lidded eyes, his breathing evening out as he drifted off. She gently slipped her fingers out of his hair. She gently pulled his glasses off but before she could put them someplace safe, she was out like a light herself.

She had a fitful sleep and blearily woke up a few hours later, George’s head an oddly comforting weight against her knee. She groggily pulled herself up and tossed a blanket at the figure slumped against her couch before fetching a glass of water and some paracetamol.

Shortly after, George lurched awake like he was sweating out a fever, heart thudding and eyes restless. He groaned, no doubt wincing at the pounding behind his eyes. He caught sight of the water and medicine placed next to him but looked away after a moment of consideration. She raised her eyebrows pointedly, knowing only too well the kind of hell his overactive mind was capable of putting him through.

“How’s your head?”

She hadn’t meant to sound that sarcastic, but it was enough for him to get the hint. He relented, taking a sip of water and then one of the pills just for good measure.

"Good. Now go home and get some proper rest, you moron."

She watched him stumble down the road till he turned the corner, trying to hide how shaken she was by his panic. She sighed wearily. Only a month at Lockwood & Co. and already he would be a desperate wreck without them. She turned back inside, trying to ignore how empty her dining table looked without his typewriter and how vacant she felt without that flimsy excuse for him to see her again.

Years passed. She and George somewhat kept in touch, but it had still been extremely startling when Lockwood & Co. reached out to her with plans to expose her employer, Marissa Fittes. Amongst the tragedy of Portland Row being reduced to rubble, Kipps nearly dying and the Skull almost moving on, unemployment was the least of her concerns.

Still, it wasn’t all sad once Lucy had proposed to Lockwood after one too many failed attempts by the latter party. They had planned a relatively intimate affair, only inviting some old friends of the ex-Fittes employees of the group.  

They held it at an inexpensive banquet hall just a few minutes away from Portland Row. Lucy looked gorgeous and glowing with happiness under the gentle warm lighting, and Lockwood looked dashing in a suit not much more formal than his regular one. He spent the majority of the reception denying that he had teared up at the first glimpse of Lucy at the end of the aisle, insisting that his best man was a pathological liar.

After the main event, the guests milled around, having drinks, and occasionally congratulating the happy couple. As expected, Lockwood became very drunk very quickly, enough to pull out some terribly nonsensical yet oddly stirring comment.

“Here’s to the first day of the rest of our lives.”

She glanced across at George. He met her eye. They immediately looked away. She could have sworn she felt a hitch of some breath between them. She felt the prickle of tears behind her eyes. Lucy was desperately trying to shut up an overly emotional and hence overly talkative Lockwood who looked ready to launch into a speech no one asked for.

“That’s enough now, or we’ll have Kipps bawling all through dinner.”

It wasn’t exactly a sit-down dinner, though there was appropriate seating. Half of the guests were eating and the other half were having fun with some party games. She was watching Holly struggle at Twister when she felt someone slide into the seat next to hers - namely, the best man, George.

“Hey.”

She grinned, flushed from the champagne she had been sipping all evening. “Hey.”

“Having fun?”

“Lots.”

He couldn’t help but return her smile, looking a little tipsy himself. “I can tell.”

They ate in silence for a while, only the tinny sound of the radio’s strain and cheers from the party games filling the space between them.

“I think I missed you at the bouquet toss earlier.”

She nearly swallowed her spoon. He had noticed? He noticed her? She didn't know how to tell him that she couldn't see herself marrying anyone that wasn't him. How could she wake up every day knowing her better half was somewhere out there miles away, wondering if he wished for someone as moron-shaped as her?

“Oh, well, that’s not really my thing. More of a bridesmaid than a bride.”

She resumed eating, presuming that line of conversation to be over until she noticed he was still looking at her strangely, his cutlery stationary in his hands. Her chewing slowed in an attempt at dignity.

“…what?”

He lifted her right hand off her knife, making her heart thud dangerously. Wordlessly, he pulled off the sapphire ring on her middle finger and oh-so-delicately slid it onto her ring finger instead.

“I think you’d make a wonderful bride.”

She stared at the ring, speechless. It wasn’t a proposal, but it wasn’t nothing either. Maybe…maybe this was a second chance at something. Maybe he wouldn’t screw this up this time.

He almost reluctantly relinquished his grip on her hand. She didn’t dare meet his eye. Even his voice, quiet yet slightly rough, felt unbearable to hear.

“Were you mad? When I left without telling you?”

She had waited months to hear those words.

“I wished you'd talked to me about it first. Just...just to make sure your head was screwed on straight.”

He nodded, and they returned to their food, the silence a lot less giddily amicable now.

“So, would you have - “

“Absolutely not. God, no. I would have told you to stay ten feet away from Anthony Lockwood at all times.”

They looked over to where Lucy was helping Lockwood sit down, having unfortunately thrown his back out at Limbo. She winced. “He’s such a wild card.”

“I suppose I am too.”

She turned, curious, and he looked as though he regretted letting that slip out. Her voice dropped, taking on a softer edge.

“Not to me. Not when it’s you.”

He stared at her like there was something bloodied and hungry behind his eyes. She felt this twinge of something in her chest. Oh, how could she bear this? How could she bear him?

Sometimes, part of her wished she were a book - one completely enthralling and riveting, chock-full of secrets eager to slip out and lose themselves in thin air. Perhaps that was just a manifestation of her paralysing desire to be known and to be known by him.

“I should go,” George was saying as he finished up the last of his food. He stood, wiping his mouth, wandering off to find his coat. Maybe it was the liquor or the unfamiliar buzz of hope in the air tonight, but there was some odd tone of finality to his voice. She watched him leave, chewing her food thoughtfully, not feeling very hungry anymore.

As the minutes trickled by, it began to feel exhausting to be surrounded by so many happy couples, happy people, all that revolting joy and merriment. Only a short while after George had left, she located her own coat and weeded Lucy out of a throng of people doing the Macarena.

“I think I might head out now. Congratulations once again, Luce.”

“You too? Aww, thanks. Have you decided about the job offer from Madison?”

“I haven’t written back yet, but I think I’m going to turn them down. I was thinking about talking to Lockwood someday to see if he could take on one more employee. Plus, Madison’s a bit far out, and I’m pretty comfortable where I am.”

“Good. George might have just offed himself if it weren’t for his course at Edinburgh. I mean,” Lucy tripped over her words over the stunned look on her face, “I’m sure he was just kidding.”

“Hang on. Edinburgh?”

“Yeah. For his supervisor training. Did he not tell you? I thought for sure he…”

Lucy’s words muffled into oblivion and bled into some horrible ringing sound. Her mouth felt painfully dry. No. This couldn’t be happening.

“…he wanted to wait till after the wedding to tell Lockwood. Didn’t want to put a damper on things. Don’t get me wrong - I’m just as cut up about it, but…” They looked over to where Lockwood was watching the limbo game from afar with a forlorn expression. “…you know Lockwood.”

“What the hell, George.”

He jumped, freezing with his hand buried deep in his pocket, tediously hunting for his keys. She had managed to catch him at the front porch of Portland Row, looking especially guilty under the tepid glow of the ghost lamps.

“You’re training to become a supervisor?”

His face briefly twisted in annoyance. The audacity. “I told Lucy in confidence -“

“When were you going to tell me, Karim? Or were you just going to let me find out all on my own, like last time?” She wanted to laugh cruelly. There was nothing merciful about this knife in her chest. “I mean, why do this? Why lead me on and make me feel things and give me hope?”

“When have I ever led you on?”

“Then what was all that with my ring? Huh?” Tears sprang to her eyes once again, hot and shameful, stinging like a caustic disinfectant to an open wound. She felt so, so stupid.

“You said you didn’t care.”

“I did care!” she snapped. “Of course I fucking cared. I don’t think I could have stopped myself from caring, not when I know you like the back of my hand.”

“But you don’t care. No - tomorrow you’re going to board a train and move out of my reach and meet someone new to soothe the turmoil in your head and you won’t feel my heart bleeding for you. And if you’re very, very lucky, you might find some semblance of happiness -“

“I weigh you down!” The tirade died at her lips. Fury lined every shadow, every crevice of George’s face. He spat his words out with such venom, utter distaste. “I weigh you down…like a child. You pick me up when I fall down and kiss it better because that’s the kind of person you are. I can’t sentence you to a lifetime of running around trying to save me. I won’t do it. I’ll find someone else.”

A burden. He looked through her eyes and all he saw was a shrivelled excuse of a companion, dragging her into his depths of despair. She’d be lying if she said she never felt suffocated by his baggage. But there were some burdens you didn’t mind shouldering, not when you loved them so tenderly.

After all, who was going to unravel his every pause, stutter, sigh, and ache as she did?

“But who else is going to decode you like I do?”

George stiffened and shut his eyes regretfully as if he couldn’t bear to see that look on her face. A faint flush started creeping up his throat, peeking out from behind his starchy collar. “Don’t,” he whispered.

“Tell me,” she pressed, taking yet another step closer until their noses were barely an inch apart, “who else is going to know me? Truly know me?”

He let go of the breath he was holding and it fluttered across her cheek like the ghost of a kiss. They were venturing into intolerably intimate territory, and she could feel her pulse racing under the distracted brush of his thumb on her wrist.

There was a brooding, resigned look in his eye as if whatever he had been running from had finally caught up to him. He bowed his head and their foreheads touched. Her arms nervously reached around his neck, his hands on her waist steadying her as if to keep their balance on whatever strand of peace the moment had proffered them.

Her lips hovered over his shoulder, clavicle and jaw. She felt him reflexively tighten and loosen his grip, restless fingers fiddling with the folds of her dress and how they wrapped around her body. She brushed against the shell of his ear and felt a shiver run up his spine.

“Who else is going to hold you…like me?”

He turned a fraction and she briefly registered the lack of hesitation in his dark eyes before he finally closed the last of the gap between them. He pressed his lips to hers, soft yet intentional. He tasted like champagne and smoke and promises long-forgotten yet unbroken. It was a dizzying sort of relief to feel that years-old desperate want coiled inside finally melt through arms and fingertips buzzing with curiosity.

After that first touch, it felt as though they couldn’t get close enough, let alone pull themselves apart and have the brisk evening air rush in and nip at sensitive skin. She heard the doorknob rattle as George fumbled with it. After a short struggle, they stumbled into a nearly pitch-dark Portland Row, urgently shucking off each other’s coats and scarves. Her mind was running a mile a minute, her scalp tingling with electricity; white noise over the scrape of his teeth against her skittering pulse.

Her thoughts fragmented. At Fittes. In his room. In her apartment. His typewriter sitting glossy, polished, untouched, maddening -

George Karim was the most affected prick she had the misfortune of knowing. It was bad, bad luck that she was so irrevocably tied to him.

TAGLIST: @cielooci @mohinithoughts @neewtmas @snoopyluver20 @ell0ra-br3kk3r @ahead-fullofdreams @elenianag080 @avdiobliss @mischivana @mitskiswift99

[manicpixiefelix]

Me projecting but neurodivergent!L/N Siblings who need to decompress after every party or dinner their parents host at the family home. Retreating to the refuge of their bedrooms where they shrug off the uncomfortable clothes, scrub at their faces and hair, flop down on the bed or floor. Listen to music while gazing up at the ceiling, tapped out after forced smiles and pleasantries.

oh my GOD this ended up being 1.8k of pure oliver/felix/reader fluff ft. oliver & reader knowing each other so well they can communicate silently, reader becoming nonverbal after events, and the l/n siblings inviting felix to chill and relax with them in these moments after events because they know he understands and feels a similar kind of pressure to what they go through. also yeah big same on the projecting neurodivergent!L/N Siblings, esp. the reader, because Me Too. this got out of hand lol maybe i should have just published it as a full fic, but i love this au v much. i know including Fi probably wasn't what you expected but........ i had to sorry lol.

but also since this is technically an ask im gonna include a song for the vibe, which is Talk Me Down by Troye Sivan because Blue Neighbourhood will always make me emotional.

The first time Felix ever sees the two of you truly unmask is after one of the smaller gatherings his parents held early that first Summer. He's not quite sure when the shift occurred, but he very quickly became aware of it. Oliver by your side, and usually at least comfortable offering quiet additions to conversations for himself, started to simply murmur his thoughts to you, before finally becoming nonverbal. Somehow you were still able to interpret from the things he didn't say, but you were clearly growing weary too. Oliver gives thin lipped smiles, but at least he's given the grace to appear haughty by your shoulder; your smile never drops, but it doesn't reach your eyes.

For a brief moment that the pair of you have to yourselves, Felix watches a whole conversation pass between you and Oliver from merely a look that you share. You link your pinky with Oliver's, and he perches his chin on your shoulder; a brief moment of relaxation and serenity as you both let your eyes close, tension relaxing for a beat at you press your forehead to his. Felix has the strangest sensation, like he can hear the way you two share an I love you without either saying a single word.

You say good night to all the gathered guests, and Felix family, on behalf of yourself and your brother not too long after Felix witnesses the exchange. You get handshakes and kisses on the cheek, and Oliver makes sure, even if he remains quiet, to give winning smiles and kiss the older, sophisticated ladies on the hand like a true gentleman. Felix tries to ask if you're both alright when you get to him, last of all, and though you both smile, it's not quite believable. At least to him. But he lets you leave.

He makes his own exit soon after. Oliver's room is the closest to his, so it makes the most sense to go there first. At least he'd have some sort of excuse. He goes through his own room first, suit jacket haphazardly tossed on the bed and tie along with it, already unbuttoning several of his buttons to make himself more comfortable. Crossing the bathroom he strides confidently to Oliver's door and knocks.

No answer.

"Ollie, it's me," he says gently, "are you okay, you just seemed a bit -" the door opens very slightly and it's you peering back at him. You're not smiling. You're not... anything. You blink at him. Felix takes a moment to reassess the situation, then you open the door wider and you step back into the room, no longer watching him. Felix feels like he's intruding the minute he realises both you and Oliver have stripped down to your underwear; he's stumbling through apologies, suddenly bashful under Oliver's watchful gaze where he's splayed out on the bed, a tired kind of curiosity in his eyes. But neither of you seem particularly bashful yourselves, nor are you running to cover yourselves.

Felix watches you stretch yourself out on the bed beside your brother, looking up at the ceiling as you blindly reach for a single earphone you know will be waiting where you'd obviously left it on the pillow. He settles himself, tries to remind himself that you'd both let him in on this moment. You close your eyes.

"Is everything okay?" This time the concern is genuine. In this moment, Felix is surprised when Oliver appears to take the lead for you both. For just a moment, he reaches across himself to gently pet your hair.

"What is to give light must endure burning," he says faintly, before turning to Felix with that same, faint but tired smile, "thought you'd know what it's like to be the sun, Felix." And, yes, of course Felix knows what he means... except in situations where comparisons are drawn with the two of you.

Before he can ponder too much, however, you shift on the bed, almost imperceptibly, but Oliver purses his lips.

"I'm not pretentious," he says out loud, and Felix realises it's more for his benefit than yours; he often marvels at the strange, silent way the two of you can so clearly communicate. It happens again; you barely crack your eye open, levelling an indecipherable look at your brother as your lips quirk into the faintest smile. In response, Oliver rolls his eyes and tells you to shut up, though his tone is fond.

Then, after another moment, your gaze lands on Felix. Suddenly he feels it all, the exhaustion, the ache of keeping up appearances, the restrictiveness of the formalwear he's been coaxed into. Everything's too much, and the two of you, window open with a faint breeze, wearing next to nothing and allowing yourselves to just be after the pressure of performing, it sounds fucking heavenly.

"How are you going, Felix?" Oliver asks, following your gaze, almost like he can read Felix's mind. Maybe he can. Maybe that's how the two of you can operate so seamlessly, so unspokenly between each other. Both of you are looking at him now. He feels incredibly overdressed. He laughs awkwardly, but suddenly can't seem to look at either of you. The words get stuck in throat for a moment.

'Thought you'd know what it's like to be the sun, Felix' is what Oliver had said; not feel like the sun. To be the sun. Because you both know how the rest of Felix's life orbits around him, except for the two of you. You've so warped his reality, his own orbit, he's had no choice; Oliver is the moon to your sun, but what does that make him?

Binary stars; Felix is still the sun in his own life, but he could never match your gravity once he's come across you, nor could he escape it.

"Kind of like I'm burning, I guess."

As soon as he says it, he knows it was the right answer. Both you and Oliver shuffle away from each other, making distinct room between you on the bed, an unspoken invitation.

This is one of the big turning points in the relationship, Felix realises as he's undressing, trying to keep his heartbeat under control. He can't believe he's here, that this is really happening; this is nowhere near what he'd expected when he went knocking on Ollie's door.

"What are you listening to?" He asks awkwardly as he makes his way onto the bed from over the foot of it. You, eyes once more closed, pulled the earphones from the iPod by your side. Once you pressed play once more, Felix hears Amy Winehouse croon from the little speakers. He flops on his back between you both and stares up at the ceiling. It's strange, he almost feels like he's waiting for something to happen, though it does feel much freer with the breeze and only in his boxers.

After a beat, you let out a low, contented hum, shuffling closer to Felix, enough that you were able to press your cheek to his shoulder.

"Yeah," Oliver agrees quietly to whatever he'd gleaned from your movement and noises, "'s a lot to be out there in the world sometimes," to which Felix makes a faint noise of agreement. He feels your fingers wrap carefully around his arm, and your face turns to press firmer against his shoulder. Your lips are against his skin when you hum again, and he feels like his whole body lights up with the contact. Oliver, who's head is on the pillow beside Felix, turns to look at him; he's not smiling, but there's fondness in his gaze, unfiltered, so unused to how he usually looks at Felix, "you're always welcome here if you need time like this. We won't tell if you won't."

You nod against Felix's shoulder, Felix feels like he's about to pass out with how hard his heart is beating.

Because he knows you both, has seen you operate together in the world for the better part of a year in person, and years before in the tabloids before that. This exhaustion, this clear detox from an uncomfortable foray into society, is not something the rest of the world is ever allowed to see.

And you're inviting him into it.

Felix falls asleep there, between the two of you, on top of the duvet. It's the best sleep he's had in a very long time.

The next time it happens, he's surprised that you're both already so willing to include him in the routine. Saying goodbye to everyone else at the event, you simply give him a tired smile, and Oliver actually speaks to him directly, rather than through you the way he had been for the past hour, to pointedly wish him good night.

Five minutes later, Felix lets himself into Oliver's room, and finds the two of you, already down to your underwear, sitting cross-legged on the bed as you are gently removing Oliver's concealer and eyeliner with a makeup wipe. You've forgone earphones entirely and there's the tinny sound of some pop-punk band this time. You smile at Felix broadly, giving a little wave.

"I quite like this," Oliver says to you, though loud enough for Felix to hear. You nod in agreement. He has the distinct impression that you're both talking about him joining these moments of yours.

Sometimes things change, like your or Oliver will be sitting up with a cigarette or a book, and have the other's head in your lap, or one of you will be on the floor by the bed, and Felix learns not to worry, that you needed to simply not be touched in that moment. Sometimes that lasts all night, and Felix worries about either of you sleeping on the floor, but you both assure him it's normal.

Felix learns that Oliver likes playing with Felix's hair just as much as he liked getting his hair played with. He learns to identify whose taste in music is whose each time judging by the album chosen. He also learns how clingy you get, and how responsive you are to soothing touches; those are his favourite nights, with Oliver comfortable and content by his side, looking up at the ceiling and enjoying the music, while you're pressed up against Felix's side, head on his chest to listen to the heartbeat he keeps much steadier than he'd been able to that first night. His arm is around you and you have your own slung over him, legs tangled up with his, all but melting into him as he runs his fingers up and down your spine in a soothing, repetitive rhythm. You're practically purring.

These nights are quiet, he doesn't remember the last time any of the three of you spoke after Oliver's quiet aside on that second night. He gets used to the serenity, the lack of expectations, and comes to understand and appreciate just how badly you both need these moments. He doesn't think he needs them in quite the same way, but his head starts to spin when he realises that you both have started needing him there in these moments.

[idyllic-affections]

what if kaveh adopted a child?

summary. kaveh adopts a random child.

trigger & content warnings. implied past trauma.

tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. comfort, found family. kaveh & child!reader. 0.6k words. they/them pronouns used for reader.

author's thoughts. hehe kaveh <3 this was written before the fontaine release, so i dont know how villainous focalors may or may not be but i implied her to be a lil bit villain-like. anyway i probably wont expand upon this one, this brainrot is just a silly little thought i had

kaveh is a man with a heart much too big for his chest.

alhaitham can't really say he's surprised when kaveh tries to sneak in an orphaned, seemingly nonverbal child barely any older than six or seven. they're clinging to the blonde like a lifeline, face buried in his neck and little hands clutching the fabric of his shirt. given how frail they look...

"quit staring. they came from fontaine," kaveh scoffed, one of his hands absently toying with the tips of their knotted hair, "if you must know."

there's a little bit of surprise on alhaitham's face at that—a child that small ran all the way from fontaine to sumeru city? did they communicate that to kaveh, or did he just assume based on their attire?—but it washes away quickly as he turns back to his book. kaveh almost dares to think he'll get off easily at his roommate's brief silence. he should've known better. just as he starts to walk away... "you can't keep them."

what alhaitham doesn't know is that they avoided so, so many others in sumeru city but approached kaveh because they felt safer approaching him rather than anyone else.

it annoys him beyond belief that the scribe fails to understand how intuitive children are (he's far too petty to admit that maybe it's because alhaitham doesn't know what happened, that he wasn't there to witness such a sweet little one approaching him while flinching away from others). they approached kaveh because, in their mind, he felt safer than other people.

there's no way in hell he's abandoning them.

"it's not your choice to make."

"it's my house."

"what do you suggest i do, then?!" he snaps, quickly regaining his composure when the little one in his arms trembles. a sense of guilt weighs on his chest; the poor thing must be exhausted, hungry, and possibly even sick or injured. they don't need any more stress. as infuriating as alhaitham can be... the blonde is more concerned with the child. kaveh's voice lowers significantly as he continues, "i'm not going to just leave them on the streets in a foreign nation."

"oh, i don't know," alhaitham muses, "maybe head to fontaine and find their parents?"

"gone."

both of the roommates fall silent at the little, meek voice. they peek upwards at kaveh.

a sense of calmness washes over them at the gentle, sympathetic expression on his face. he... looks like he could cry for them, actually. they don't have the capacity to completely understand the extent of the architect's empathy quite yet, and so, instead of trying to process why he looks so utterly bothered, they settle on laying their head back on his shoulder. he makes a very nice pillow.

"they're, um, gone," they repeat again, a little louder so the objectively scarier man could hear them with clarity. despite their sleepiness, they do their best to speak clearly and steadily. "l— lady focalors took them."

"...take them to gandharva ville."

kaveh doesn't reply to that, merely walking past his roommate and heading towards the bathroom to run a warm bath for them.

he knows he should. he's busy and won't be able to provide such a fragile thing with the care and attention they need to grow properly, not to mention his looming debt. he also knows that tighnari and collei and all the other forest rangers would take very good care of them until he rids himself of debt or until they're old enough to care for themselves. he knows, but... he just doesn't want to get rid of them. it pains kaveh to even think about doing something like that.

...

archons... he sincerely hopes that he can get rid of his debt and do it fast.

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[lukolabrainrot]

London Thoughts and The Events Since

Alright, y'all have been requesting it, so here we go...

First, let's take a step into a little story shall we:

26 y/o boy living on his friend's couch trying to make it as an on-screen actor (but a sweet theater nerd at heart). Starts a new relationship with someone also into theater. It's homey and nice and going well. Boy is about to give up on breaking out of theater when BOOM now introducing Colin Bridgerton. Boy meets girl playing his romantic counterpart in the show and BOOM what is all this warmth he feels for her. Boy is in awe and just mesmerized by this girl. The boy loves this girl. But wait, the boy is a little bit younger than the girl, and the boy has a girlfriend. The boy wants to make things work with his girlfriend. He loves her. So the boy pushes those feelings down and becomes good friends with the girl, but they flirt with each other constantly, and others start picking up on an energy between them. The boy's girlfriend also starts picking up on the energy between her boyfriend and the girl. She knows what her boyfriend looks like when he is in love. The boy and the girl are going to finally be the leads in the show. It is a very exciting time, and the boy and girl get a lot closer. Things with the boy and his girlfriend start to sour for various reasons, and the girlfriend starts to get a little insecure and jealous of the girl. The boy tries to distance himself from the girl, but then has to redirect all his attention on the girl when they start filming their season. This is the breaking point with the boy and his girlfriend, and they part ways. The boy and the girl channel all of their pent up sexual chemistry and feelings into their characters, and they are having an amazing time. The dials on the flirting turn to 11, and they start toying with the idea of acting on their feelings in private. Eventually, they do. Their season wraps up, and they are having a great time with each other in private. Things are going well for a while, and they are playing sneaky little SM games with the fans to tease that they might be a little more than friends. However, the girl is pretty jaded about love, and has not prioritized that part of her life in a long time. The girl also really likes the boy, and doesn't want to mess anything up between them. The boy is ALL IN though, and wants something more than casual. The girl puts the breaks on the relationship, but there are a lot of deep feelings for each other that both of them have still not shared. The boy then goes on a HBS and casually dates people who seem totally different from the girl because the boy is a little heartbroken, and does not want to be reminded of the girl. The boy is also not emotionally available, because the boy and the girl never established firm boundaries on what their relationship will be moving forward. Eventually, the boy meets someone that he has fun with, and she gets along with his friends. However, the boy and the girl come back together to finish filming for their season, and ALL of the feelings come flooding back. But the boy is again (kind of) in a relationship, but BOOM the boy and the girl then have to spend the next 6 months promoting their season all over the world with all of these unresolved feelings...

Alright, I have to say, I had a lot of fun writing that 😂 Soooo, these are my theories on where L/N were at when the PR tour started in January. And then I already talked about my theories on what happened between them on the PR tour. Which leads us to London...

London

I will say this, I personally didn't observe any MAJOR changes in the nonverbal cues in how L/N were interacting with each other in London. Also, which was particularly telling to me, N still had the total heart eyes for L (you can tell because L has this habit of losing track of what he is saying when she is looking at him like that, which he did at least twice from what I remember during the various interviews they did in London). She also just had this happy glow about her like she was really at ease and content (which I also thought was interesting because they both must have been SOO tired by this point 🤔). HOWEVER, I did notice that L seemed a little more anxious than normal, and started using more distancing language and just in general seemed way less on-board with the shipping around L/N. And by the London red carpet, I realized something big was going on internally for L based on the body language and behavior. SOME of that I think is because red carpet events are just challenging for him in general (might have something to do with his anxiety and ADHD). I also think though that there was a lot more going on BTS during this period than we were privy to at the time. Here are my thoughts on what was going on during London (based off everything we know now):

Let's first remember the goldmine that was Ireland (which was JUST a few days prior). And I choose to believe N that L/N stayed the weekend with her family (which is still WILD to me that she admitted that on a public interview, because people are obviously going to read into that 🙃). And also WHYYY would she lie about that, when it's such a personal thing and had nothing to do with the show. I mean yes, maybeee she was lying, but it just doesn't really make sense to me that she would lie about THAT.

I started noticing near the last leg of the tour (by Toronto), N started to be a LOT more obvious about her feelings for L, and was making some pretty big slip-ups (and personally I observed that it seemed L was the one who was noticing and trying to correct for that and not let the WHOLE cat out of the bag). Now why was N being so obvious? SHE WAS REALLY HAPPY WITH HIM. And I think this is a lot newer for N because she has been so jaded about love and romance for such a long time. Even though I firmly believe L fell first, I think this was a lot more of a big deal for N because she hasn't had something like this in a long time (imo). So she was just really excited and giddy and having a hard time hiding it.

I think L/N had some conversations while they were in Ireland about how they were going to handle their public narrative moving forward, because like I mentioned in my A theories here, L was always going to have to start publicly distancing himself from N (REGARDLESS of what was actually going on with L/N BTS). And personally, I think that started by the promo in London, which I think was kind of jarring for the public that was following along considering L/N's behavior just a few days before in Ireland.

Therefore, I think a lot of this change in body language and responses from L was coming from the feelings he was having around this, as well as knowing that soon he would have to go public with A. I'm sure this was incredibly stressful, and as we know, L is not very subtle or good at lying/hiding his true feelings. However, I don't think this shift in L was coming from any type of shift in feelings between L/N. I think by London, L had become super self-conscious and in his head about everything, and I think he was just ready to be done with the promo because it was giving him a lot of anxiety. I think a lot of those feelings though were coming from wanting to protect NICOLA. I think L/N had a plan on how they were going to handle distancing in their public narrative after the London premiere, BUT I personally believe A hijacked that narrative...

To Papgate and Beyond

So, I think we all know the events of everything that has happened since the London premiere between L/N/A, and I still stand by my thoughts on the situation here. This is what I will add (again, these are just theories though based on the information we have now and what I have observed):

I am fairly certain that A was responsible for tipping the paps off for the hotel pics because she was upset and trying to reclaim some control on the situation. It was obvious that DM's objective was to sell a certain narrative, and they weren't really able to get that because I don't think L had any plan to publicly acknowledge her that night (mainly based on the damage control he had to do right after, and how L/N were interacting on SM following the event). The only person who benefited from those pics was A, and all the roads lead back to her being involved with DM in some type of way if you look at all the information we have now. Now was L's team involved with the first set of pap pics after the after party? Maybe, I just don't have enough information to say yes or no. I could see though that this may have been planned in advance on his side to start to publicly distance/seperate himself some form N. However, I don't really have any information to prove that, more just a feeling.

I think part of the understanding that L came to with A after Brazil was allowing her to get attention by publicly linking herself to him, regardless of the negative impact it may have on his career in the short-run. I think the reason it seems like he is just passively letting things happen around him related to SM and the press is because HE IS. After Papgate 2.0 and all the information that came out around that, it became clear to me that A has a larger goal to get her name out there THROUGH HIM, regardless of how it makes him look. And I think there is an understanding between L/A that he's just not going to ask questions and let her do what she wants and let the cards fall where they may for right now.

Now you might say, that doesn't make a lot of sense, why would he do that, it seems like kind of a poor choice career wise? Yes, I agree, this was not a great career move (and I think he underestimated HOW MUCH of an impact this was going to have). However, like I have said, it is my belief that L decided he was going to take the bullet for what (MAY) have occurred between him and N on the tour because he's trying to protect NICOLA's public image. I think he had a different plan though on how he was going to introduce A to the public, but once A hijacked that, I think he was kind of just stuck in a situation where he had to let A do what she wants because again, HE DOESN'T WANT A TO LEAK INFORMATION ABOUT HIM AND N.

If ANY of my theories around A that I have mentioned so far are true (and I am almost certain that SOME of them are), there is NO way L/A are doing great on an emotional level. Which is why the public optics around them have looked so strange starting from when she was publicly introduced at Papgate. I think it is also PARTICULARLY telling that even though the cat is out of the bag regarding A, his team will still not publicly confirm she is his girlfriend. Personally, I think that is intentional because it makes it easier to untangle himself more quietly from her in like 3-4 months (which I think is the plan). I could be wrong though of course, but something in my gut, based on everything I have seen, tells me that they aren't all happy and boo'd up like A the press wants us to think. There are just too many weird and shady things going on BTS.

Lastly, I think it was ALWAYS the plan for L/N to publicly disconnect after the London premiere. However, that doesn't really have anything to do with their private relationship. We only see a small sliver of their lives, and we have no way of knowing the full story BTS because we don't know them. I also think a lot of people are struggling with the fact that there was SO MUCH content of them for MONTHS, and now we have been cut off cold turkey. I don't personally find though the lack of content or SM interactions with each other currently as a direct indicator of the status of their relationship (ex: I don't think it's a direct indicator that they have ill feelings towards each other). Let's assume my theory is correct that the PR tour forced the two of them to address some deep feelings for each other that they had been having for a while, and those feelings were reciprocated. And then this newfound evolution in their relationship played out on a very public stage while L was publicly connected to someone else. That is a lot of pressure and incredibly stressful. I could not even imagine. Therefore, I think L/N are navigating some complicated things in private, but I don't think that it negates the positive emotional shift they had during the tour. I think they need to take this time out of the public eye to explore these complex, newfound feelings and developments in their relationship. I still don't think though that we would have seen what we did between L/N during the tour by Toronto if they weren't on the same page about seriously exploring their romantic feelings at some point in the near future. But those are just my thoughts...

Anywhooo, that concludes my L/N timeline theories 😊 Thanks for coming to my TedTalk! 😂

[personificationofcreativeblock]

Since I haven't seem many of this, here are some kid!L headcanons (they mostly came from my Death Note AU but uh, anyways):

• He was nonverbal until he was nine years old

• Walked on tiptoe

• LOVED reading books. Books were his life fr

• Loved puzzles and problem-solving games more than he loved people

• Would NOT wear shoes even when told to do so

• Looked into people's souls to the point that even adults were unsettled with him

• Knew sign language, as well as many other languages

• Smarter than every single adult around him

• Shorter than the average height for children his age. Later he had a growth spurt and became tall asf

• Didn't care about socializing with other children nor adults

• Liked solving equations, but they eventually became boring to him

• Have I mentioned that he loves puzzles?

• Knows many things about everyone around him due to being very observant

• Knows a lot about true crime cases, even while being a child

• Distrusts adults, specially men (that is related to my AU)

• Hhhhhatesss loud noises and yelling

• Is a lot stronger than he looks. A LOT

• "People are overrated"

• He once beat an older boy until he bled because he tore up his book (live laugh love books)

• EXTREMELY COMPETITIVE. Bro can and will get petty

• Loves sweets more than he loves himself

• Autism

• Personification of autism

Anyway, that's it for now. You can send me an ask if you want more or if you want to hear me ranting about my AU

(also, sorry for any English mistakes or misspelling, it's not my first language lol)