#(yes it was to saint) (yes that nickname is more and more literal)

[askthestans]

Hey Stan, can you tell us stories about your brother Sherman being a total square?

Stan and Ford: At the same time. You mean Square-mie?

Both of them laugh, not in a harsh way, but the kind of lighthearted chuckles that usually come from one sibling teasing another. It's obvious they love their older brother, but... like most siblings, they'll always jump on a chance to make fun of one another.

Stan: Oh, he always hated that nickname! Look, Anon, lemme first introduce ya to the official scale of Pines fun-ness. At the top, there's me, for obvious reasons. Second best is Mabel, also for obvious reasons. And... He pauses, putting his hand to his chin. Damn, I gotta say, I think Ford's next-

Ford: I am as much of an adventurer as I am a scientist.

Stan: Yeah, definitely Ford, despite his dorkiness and obsession with... He gestures at Ford's honors and trophies for grades and intelligence related successes from childhood. That garbage. Good grades and other crap. And then-

Ford: Definitely our nephew, Dipper and Mabel's father. Works in IT, very smart, has a little bit more of Mabel's fun-loving nature. But far less adventurous than you or I. You and I could never live a boring suburban life like he does.

Stan: Grinning. Then, near the very bottom, you've got Dipper. No offense to the kid, but he's Ford's smarts but minus Ford's rebel streak. Walkin' wet blanket at times, always askin' how many laws we're breakin' while we're out havin' fun... although me and Ford are teachin' 'im to grow past it, as much as his parents will let us corrupt 'im. But he at least likes to have fun, I'll give 'im that. So that leaves us at-

Ford: Way at the very bottom of the Pines fun-ness scale, you have... Square-mie. He coughs. Shermie, sorry.

Both men howl with snorts and laughter again, barely able to explain why.

Stan: Wiping a tear from his eye, wheezing a bit. Okay, okay, Anon, picture this: take Dipper and his dad's wet blanket crap and crank it up to 1000. This guy? Our brother? Good ol' Saint Sherm? Guy's never even had a parking ticket his entire life! He won't even jaywalk! He never goes even one mile per hour above the speed limit! He's like the human equivalent of white bread. Of unflavored oatmeal. Got average grades, got a boring old suburban house with a literal white picket fence, had an average job-

Ford: Shudders. I have no idea how he worked as an IRS accountant for decades.

Stan: Ugh, don't remind me. He's always barkin' at me. "Stan, you pay your taxes yet this year?" this. "Stan, you need to contribute to your civic duty.", that. Cripes, ol' Sherm is like the anti-Pines. A Pines is supposed to laugh in the face of rules and authority. This guy huffs whatever authority's smokin' like he's part of a cult. Even when we were kids, he'd always do chores even when he wasn't asked. Kept his room clean as a whistle. Barked at me to do my homework and foiled our pranks when he could. Pure goody two shoes, so much he'd make an angel blush. I think all of our Ma's rebellion genes went to us, and Pa's strictness went to Sherm.

Ford: Yes, so after I returned and we explained to him what had happened, he...

Both men fall into a snicker fest again, unsure who will stop laughing first long enough to tell the story.

Stan: Holy mackerel, he... he... Snort. Picture Dipper at, like, seventy years old, but with an even bigger stick up his ass and even less muscles somehow. Gets told this long, convoluted as hell tale about me fakin' my death and pretendin' to be Ford for three decades, Ford gettin' lost in sci-fi sideburn land for just as long, the world almost ending with Sherm's grandkids along for the ride... just mind bendin' stuff... and the first words outta his mouth... and for reference, this guy never swears, and he never has thrown a punch at anyone... he's so square he's a cube! But he just says...

He wheezes, so Ford has to finish the story.

Ford: Snort. He raises his voice a bit, likely to mimic Shermie's. "I just knew I shoulda kicked your asses more when we were kids."

The two howl and cackle with laughter, leaning on each other for support.

Stan: And then he just... walked away, out his door, down the street to the gas station, bought beer for the - and I'm not kidding - the first time in his life, and sat back down in his old man chair and faced us as we just stood there, gobsmacked, while he cracked one open and drank it with an expression like a man betrayed. And he said-

Ford: "You two knuckleheads are lucky I'm even older than you, 'cause if I wasn't, I'd plant my loafer up your ass! You're gonna sit down, shut up, and let me drink this crap while I process whatever the f*ck I just heard and how many goddamn taxes you owe. And then maybe I'll think about huggin' your sorry asses."

More laughing.

Stan: I'm not sure if he was more mad about the taxes, or the fact that I'd faked my death all those years ago, or... the world ending part where Dipper and Mabes coulda been hurt... or maybe because we drove him to drink and swear and threaten someone for the first time in his whole goddamn life, all in the same day, he... Chuckles. He never really said. All I know is, is I don't think I've ever had my jaw that close to the floor in my life.

Ford: Honestly, I think we just kind of... broke him. Even still, I think he blew our minds more than we blew his.

Stan: He laughs a bit more, then shakes his head. Pfft, can you imagine Sherm kickin' our asses, anyway? He'd probably gently nudge one of our shins and give up. He's too nice for anything worse. That's the thing with our brother: he may be boring as sin, but... he's a good guy.

Ford: He always protected us from bullies when we were kids. Carried us home whenever we sprained an ankle or broke a bone.

Stan: And bought us ice cream whenever we asked, and fixed our bikes, and patched us up, scared the "monsters" outta our closet, and taught us most of what we know. Kind of like a second Dad, honestly, and one a lot less grumpy. A bit more somber. And he helped our parents out in their old age when we weren't around, until the... well, you know. 'Til the end.

Ford: His smile fades, then he sighs, expression a bit bittersweet. And he did actually hug us.

Stan: He scratches the back of his head, a bit embarrassed, but smiling fondly. For three hours straight.

[thefirstknife]

hey! so i didnt play much (read: at all 😔) this season and honestly ive been feeling myself growing distant from destiny overall so i find it hard to care about anything that happens in the game BUT. i care very much about crow and jolyon and have been seeing some resurgance of them? which might just be fan content but i still wanted to ask if there have been anything relating to them in the game recently? any tiny lines about crow even speaking with jolyon? is that a thing?

Yes! We had little mentions this season!

Biggest one is this radio message which is entirely about Crow telling Petra how much he's anxious over Jolyon and Petra trying to convince Crow to speak to him. The little details about how they were "so close" and "inseparable" are a huge win. We have no confirmation if they have talked before Crow left, but it's definitely something he's been thinking about so maybe it will get picked up again at some point.

And in the secondary lore book, Gifts and Bargains, which was earned through the exotic mission and is about Taranis, Riven's mate who made his nest in the Black Garden: page 2 where Taranis literally says that Jolyon was Uldren's "partner" and in page 3 where Taranis also calls Jolyon "Uldren's Rachis" and mentions how he overheard a secret they shared together. This is so cool because Jolyon's nickname was The Rachis, but Taranis specifically makes it so that he's Uldren's Rachis. And ofc the "partner" thing is more or less 100% confirmation for me since they use that word for other couples (most notably for Saint and Osiris).

Nothing incredibly big in the grand scheme of things, but for a fairly niche lore-only character, it's a lot. Jolyon girlies stay winning.

[zepp-l1n]

Okay but like, imagine the "Laurie confesses" scene from Little Women, but with Nikolai and Reader.

(Btw this is literally the whole scene, almost word for word, so it's lengthy. Also, Jo is the only one to call him Teddy, so I used Nikolai's nickname when Reader speaks. Do with this what you will.)

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

*Reader and Nikolai are walking through the Grand Palace's gardens*

Reader: Nina married. Zoya off to Kerch. And now that you're king, you'll be off in meetings and trips. I'm just not good like Alina, so I'm angry and restless.

Nikolai: You don't have to stay here, (Y/N).

Reader: Why? Should we run off and join a pirate ship again?

*Reader and Nikolai stop and look at each other*

Reader: No. No.

Nikolai: It's no use, (Y/N).

Reader: Please don't.

Nikolai: (Y/N), we've gotta have it out.

Reader: No. Sobachka...

Nikolai: I have loved you ever since I've known you, (Y/N). I couldn't help it. And I tried to show and you wouldn't let me, which is fine.

Reader, emotoinally: No.

Nikolai: But I must make you hear now and give me an answer, because I cannot go on like this any longer.

Reader: Sobachka, please. Please don't.

Nikolai, crying: I gave up being tailored. I gave up everything you didn't like. I'm happy I did. It's fine. And I waited, and I never complained because I... You know, I figured you'd love me, (Y/N).

*They pause.*

Nikolai: And I realize I'm not half good enough, and I'm not this great man and-

Reader: No! Yes, yes, yes you are. You're a great deal too good for me, and I'm so grateful to you, and I'm so proud of you, and I just... I don't see why I can't love you as you want me to. I don't know why.

*They pause again*

Nikolai, softly: You can't?

Reader: No. I can't. I can't change how I feel, and... It would be a lie to say I do when I don't. I'm so sorry, Sobachka. I'm so sorry, but I just can't help it.

Nikolai: I can't love anyone else, (Y/N). I only love you.

Reader: Sobachka, It would be a disaster if we married.

Nikolai, raising his voice again: It wouldn't be a disaster.

Reader: We'd be miserable.

Nikolai, voice raised: (Y/N), I'd be a perfect saint.

Reader, also raising their voice: I can't! I can't! I've tried it and I failed.

Nikolai: Why does everyone expect it?

Reader: I can't.

Nikolai: Then why does your family and my mother expect it? Why are you saying this? Say yes. Let's be happy together, (Y/N)!

Reader: I can't say yes truly, so I'm not going to say it at all. And you will see that I'm right eventually, and you'll thank me for it.

*Another pause. Nikolai and Reader breath heavily.*

Nikolai: I'd rather hang myself than realize this, (Y/N).

Reader: Sobachka.

Nikolai: I would rather be dead.

Reader: Sobachka, don't say that.

*Nikolai walks a little bit away, turning his back to Reader*

Reader: Sobachka.

*Reader follows after him. They catch up to him and tries to stop him.*

Reader: Listen, you'll find some lovely, accomplished person who will love you and adore you and, and they're gonna make a fine queen for your fine kingdom, but I wouldn't. Alright?

*Nikolai and Reader stop, turning towards each other.*

Nikolai: Yes you would, (Y/N).

Reader: Look at me. I'm homely and I'm awkward, and I'm odd.

Nikolai: I love you, (Y/N).

Reader: And you'd be ashamed of me.

Nikolai: I love you, (Y/N).

Reader: And we would quarrel because we can't help it, even now.

*They pause, staring at eachother.*

Reader: And I'd hate elegant society, you'd hate my scribbling, and we would be unhappy. And we'd wish we hadn't done it, and everything would be horrid.

Nikolai, quietly: Is there anything more?

Reader: No, nothing more.

Nikolai, quietly: All right.

*Nikolai goes to walk away.*

Reader: Except that...

*He turns back.*

Reader, exhausted: Sobachka, I don't believe I will ever marry. I'm happy as I am, and I love my liberty too well to be in any hurry to give it up.

Nikolai: I think you're wrong about that, (Y/N).

Reader: No.

Nikolai: I think you will marry, (Y/N). I think you'll find someone and love them. And you will live and die for them because that's your way, and you will.

*He goes quiet before continuing.*

Nikolai, sadly: And I'll watch.

*Nikolai walks away, leaving Reader in the garden.*

[saffronstoats]

please read!

pinning this until i get info on if people would read it because I actually want to make it so bad... my profile will be back later

gang i have a rw au idea [ shocker ]

inv infection thang. inv starts appearing everywhere and eventually starts basically weirdmageddon. all the guys have to team up to beat it [ umm during the great migration because i want gourm and crew to have to like. have a cool scene idk i have a really cool thing planned in my head

all the scugs will be in it. yes, truly all of them: even both nightcat and inv. yes even survivor and monk's unnamed sibling. yes even monk and survivor's parents. yes literally every scug featured in gourmand's outro scene. and more

what do yall think and what should i call it

it may be invenot based but it's not a crappost

past the keep reading is more details. i lot more. i rambled whoops

inv is less "haha dating sim" and more "im gonna ruin your life :) in the funkiest way possible! *does a skateboard trick and opens a pocket dimension*" "*puts on shades and suddenly reality is distorted* heheha!"

inv closes off the void sea ( probably pre story events or hunter would have already ascended ) so hunter surv and monk all are just like having to team up. surv monk happy family scene and hunter saving them from an inv clone or domething. yk the cool one in zombie apocalypse movies

monk and survivor are basically kids. again this is migration. so hunter is like their stepdad [ genderneutral ]

hunter cycles ending ( trying to avoid spoilers ) is probably inevitable. they might be able to meet pebbles to get it extended but I still don't think hunter will make the entire thing because there's no way this thing is >25 cycles long. sorry hunter ( you will be missed dearly /gen )

thought it would be sick if arti appeared too so i had to. extend her lifespan. also shes huge like. 2x normal scug size

spearmaster is genetically modified to be a messenger for who knows how long suns intended it to be so thankfully i dont think it's as much as a stretch that they're alive

saint is an eldritch being so they could probably mess some stuff up too

dont really. see how in the world rivulet could fit timeline wise ill be honest. they are literally the only one left out. ill have inv bring them in through a pocket dimension or something because otherwise there would be no ruffles and that would be sad

forgot to mention this but having so many attack oriented slugs just being the main cast without being together doesnt make much sense. so spear and arti are a team but they dont really get along or talk to each other much and also theres no firecracker sorry guys

ill probably be generally avoiding ships in this comic besides maybe some like enot shenanigans?? but i don't think ill really do much of that either because this isnt romance this is a bunch of rodents fighting a choatic rodent glitch god

the iterators exist too. tell me whether you want them off the strings or not. ill give you examples of what happens on either side starring suns

off strings: spearmaster and suns are the duo of all time and artificier is there too. she dragged pebbles along but he doesnt want to be any part of this

on strings: suns videocalls spearmaster a lot and cheers whenever they make a slight achievement

nightcat/watcher is probably gonna be part of the colony. theyre the scout

moon and sig will also definely be there, potentially innocence and wind too if yall want them. also maybe more itties idk. we'll see

rip sliver. because its your average timeline mostly sliver is dead ( rip )

all of the iterators if off the strings are actually terrible at combat and they cannot parkour so that would allow some funny moments. funny pebbles cannot jump to save his life or encouraging wholesome suns which do yall prefer

i find it funny how half the scugs are the cool one and then theres survivor monk riv and watcher. and then theres the iterators who are even more pathetic [ silly ]

sofanthiel's nickname will constantly change highlighting their chaotic nature. one panel they're enot then they're inv then they're paincat then they're sofanthiel then they're gorbo then they're blueberrycat- you get it

actually ill use a random number generator every time their name pops up. this is minimal priority but suggest enot nicknames.

current ones are: enot, inv, sofanthiel, paincat, thanksandrew, thanks andrew ( with a space ), gorbo, blueberrycat, ???, invenot ( one word )

if i make it i'll turn on scheduled posting for it and make sure to actually like. link throughout on like next previous first. if I have anything to say or elaborate ill post it in the comments

it would also be in a genuine artstyle instead of my little 10 minute lineless thangs. id line it and give backgrounds and stuff except maybe on April fools day

anyways yeah, what do yall think?

again what do i name it because i want to call it something cooler than enotpocalypse

[beansmakesthings]

You 🫵

Yes you

Give me your Penny Lamb headcanons (legoland)

Boy, what happened to 'hello' and 'please'. I have a name, you know /lh

I will preface this one by saying I think it's very funny if Legoland Penny and RTC Penny exist in the same universe as separate people and all my hcs are approached from that perspective. Cool? Cool.

This one is also just random general stuff and will feature some vague references to parental abuse and mental health issues. Cause you know, it's Legoland.

- RTC Penny started calling her 'PB' when she found out she had a crush on Constance. As in, she's the future Penny Blackwood. (I will refer to her as PB for the rest of this for clarity)

- Yes this means there's a Penny Lamb dating Ocean and a Penny Lamb dating Constance. I just think it's funny.

- PB and Ezra'a parents were neglectful at best days and cruel at worst. PB did everything in her power to keep their attention off of Ezra and took care of him as best as she could. As a result, she's a lot more affected by their childhood than Ezra is.

- She has a bad habit of getting into fights as she has pretty poor emotional regulation due to her childhood trauma (see biting Johnny Moon in the face) and the internal anger over being unable to stop it. She's going to therapy and has improved considerably, but she still sometimes has a tendency to lash out at people who bother her.

- PB and Penny absolutely hated each other at first. It was just plain creepy. Both from somewhere a little outside Uranium City, have the same name, both have parental problems, both subject to bullying, both autistic, it just rubbed them the wrong way. They eventually grew to like each other though.

- PB still has a legally enforced curfew she has to follow as part of the court order after the Johnny Moon incident. This is a great travesty as it means she can't join any choir sleepovers.

- When Constance finally cracked and told PB all about the warehouse after the Cyclone accident and coming back to life (she felt guilty lying and hiding it from her), PB took it rather well. She once used her brother's money from selling his ADHD meds to cross the boarder into the States, snuck into a bar, and attacked a celebrity once, so who is she to decide whether or not 6 people collectively remembering God in the form of a fortune machine making them perform a musical for a rat was a real event or just mass hysteria? Weird things happen all the time. She's just glad they're all alive either way.

- PB loves going into the woods and finding little bugs and frogs and things. She takes pictures of everything and gives them all names

- She has no idea where the whole 'PB' thing came from, but literally everyone except Ezra calls her that at this point and she DOESN'T GET IT

- Constance usually shortens the PB nickname even further and just calls her Peebs. It's so far from her own name at this point that it's kind of frustrating, but she can't convince anyone to stop (Constance is also in on where it comes from and thinks it's adorable)

- PB has no idea how most teenagers dress and has never been in on a trend in her life (aside from Seven Up and we all know how that turned out) so she usually dresses like a 70s hippie

- She has a tendency to bring home wild animals and try to sneak them into her room. She once hid a family of raccoons in her closet

- PB formed a weird friendship with Ocean that almost entirely relies on comparing their shitty drug addict parents

- PB absolutely loves music. It's so stimmy. Once she's out in the world and becomes friends with the Saint Cassian Chamber Choir, she's being introduced to more music than she ever knew existed. She loves watching the choir perform and loves being in a car with any one of them and cranking their music until she can feel the bass in her chest.

- Constance keeps telling PB she could join the choir if she wants. They have plenty of room for her. PB declines because, while she can hold a tune and play ukulele, she doesn't like singing nearly enough to get in front of so many people and open herself up to judgement. She prefers to listen, so she'll just sit in the front row, thanks.

- PB does not like eye contact and will never look anyone in the eye ever unless she has no choice

- PB and Ezra were featured in one of Mischa's rap songs on YouTube

- Elysium didn't have a lot of modern technology so PB is terrible with most of it. She can barely use her phone without getting trapped in the notes app and panicking and needing someone to fix it

- Since she was homeschooled and kind of got to pick whatever she found most interesting to learn about, PB is incredibly knowledgeable about a lot of history and biology, but is god awful at math. She's pretty convinced she'll fail grade 12 math because what the hell is a parabola?

[yutopia-eleftheria]

Tokisada Headcanons

Full name :

Name Origin : Japan

Name Meaning : From Japanese “Toki” meaning “Time”

                             From Spanish “Pasada” meaning “Past”

Nickname(s) : Toki, Sada (by his family)

Age : 29 years old

Species : Human (became Immortal)

Place of Birth : 

Birthday : February 9th

Zodiac Sign : Aquarius

Gender : Born Male ; Genderfluid

Sexuality : Polyromantic Abrosexual

Nationality : Japanese and Greek

Residence : Athens, Greece

MBTI : ISTJ

----------------------------------------------------

     Appearance :

Eyes : Purple 

           (Red halo on his right eye, 

            Blue star on his left eye (after Omega Season 2))

Hair : Olive Green

Skin : Slightly Tanned

Height : 6′0″ (183 cm)

Weight : 161 lbs (73 kg)

Special Traits : Missing Right Ear

                          Scar under his left ear (childhood injury)

                          Scar on his nose (from Subaru)

----------------------------------------------------

     Family and Relatives :

Parents : Bellanca {Mother}

               Unnamed Father (deceased)

Siblings : Tokisaki {Younger Sister}

Significant Other(s) : Paradox

                                  Rhéa

Best Friends : Sonia and Amor

Gets Alongs Well With : Kiki

                                         Integra (Paradox’s twin sister after all)

                                         Schiller

                                         Mycenae

                                         Fudô (his sister’s significant other)

                                         Genbu (it got better after the fight and the curse thing)

                                         Seiya (respects him)

                                         Ionia (he was his master ; kind of a grandfather figure)

Doesn’t Get Along Well With : Harbinger (he loves to tease Tokisada)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

- As mentioned before, Tokisada has the particularity to have been born with only one ear. However, the reason behind this is unknown. This didn’t stop his parents for loving him deeply. They were even so close and attentive to their son that it was really hearthwarming.

Of course, at first, he could only partially hear, since he almost doesn’t hear from his right side, but he enhanced his other senses to cope with this disability. He also got used to hear less than the average people.

This missing ear is also the main reason why he has long hair at the front of his face, and more importantly, why he always wears the Cloths head protectors. He hides it so his opponents doesn’t know about his disability and use it as an advantage. He doesn’t really like to show it anyway.

- Despite being at first on Mars and Medea’s side, Tokisada wasn’t really a bad guy to begin with : he just obeyed to the people that are in higher ranks than him because he respected them. 

Yes he disrepects the First Ranked Pallasites in Season 2, but that’s because he wasn’t really himself anymore.

- When he was freed from Hyôga’s Freezing Coffin by his younger sister Tokisaki, he learns the truth from her because she wanted to save him and to prove that her brother wasn’t evil.

Thanks to Amor, she knew that the Cloth that was inside the Aquarius Cloth was a masquerade created by Medea. All of that so Tokisada will relentlessly try to overcome it because it was testing him until he reached his limits, and therefore will stay by her side forever. Of course, like every other Gold Saints that were on her side, she will more likely use them as her own puppets and betrays them when she’ll believe they are useless (the only one that didn’t receive that treatment was Schiller because he was killed by Yuna before she could do this to him).

So, yeah. She pretty much choose to try and curse Tokisada for the rest of his life. However, when Genbu battled Tokisada, the Libra Gold Saint seems to have been able to lift the curse away from the Aquarius Gold Cloth. He thought while battling him that it was the curse that made him reckless and everything (and he was right !) But Tokisada woke up and his eyes turned red, being once again able to use his time powers despite his Cosmo having reached it’s limits during the battle he just lost. The reason behind that is because the curse may have left the Aquarius Gold Cloth, but it literally got into Tokisada.

So yeah, it was the curse that turned Tokisada into a ruthless man that wanted to dominate the World. Saturn knew that and used this as an advantage to have him and his abilities on his side.

- When Tokisaki saved her dear brother, she immediatly noticed that he was different, or should we say not the same anymore, just by looking at his eyes. All eyes shines with a beautiful white, but Tokisada’s purple eyes doesn’t shine anymore. Back when he was a Silver Saint, his eyes used to shine. Now they look almost...empty.

Moreover, when Genbu, and mostly Hyôga, told her what he said about the Aquarius Gold Cloth, she knew her brother would never say that if he was himself, as he respects the Gold Saints and their Cloths since they are the Elite of Athena’s Saints. In reality, he would NEVER dare to insult them like that.

- When he finally recovered from the Freezing Coffin, his eyes started to shine again : that’s because he was helped by most of the other Gold Saints and his more violent and sarcastic is less and less present as time flies. It will never leave him, as it is now “carved” in his chest forever,

- Eventually, he will have the Aquarius Gold Cloth back and fulfill his duties as a Saint of Athena. He will even manage to learn ice moves like the previous Aquarius Gold Saints. And believe me, combining this with his manipulation over time can be very deadly, to say the least.

[youremyonlyhope]

Changes in Season 2 and my Feelings

Ok I gotta just list this stuff out. I gotta get the emotions out. I'm sure I'm forgetting some changes but these are the ones that mattered most to me. These will be in categories of how each change made me feel: Unforgivable, Not happy about it but whatever, Indifferent/mixed/neutral, Okay with it, Hey that's a good change/makes sense, and Yes good thank you this is amazing.

Obviously spoilers below.

UNFORGIVABLE:

Nikolai didn't call Alina "lovely" at all not even once and that makes me so mad, I love that that's his nickname for her in the books.

Where was my little baby angel Misha? But also, if I had had to watch a little boy in the middle of all of that I'd have cried, his presence in the book was enough so maybe we're luck they cut him out.

Where was Oncat and by extension Hershaw and Stigg?

Genya's scars. Yes she heals them but the stage they're in when she first gets them is what they should have been after she heals herself. It should have initially been soo much worse.

Not letting us see the King get torn apart and humiliated. He got off way too easily. MAKE HIM SUFFER MORE.

Not happy about it but whatever:

David. This is only here because I will be in denial until I see the body. And if it is true, at least it's not as sad as the book because that actually ruined me. Otherwise it'd be in the unforgivable section.

The speedrun of the Rollins stuff. It was satisfying in the book (almost going too far) after everything they'd been through. I feel like we hadn't gotten enough to justify it at the point that it happened in the show, and now he's still sticking around and being annoying so where do we go from there?

Mal's reason for not being around Alina and not being told about the tether. In the book he's avoiding her because emotions and feelings. In the show he's literally kidnapped and physically not there. And we don't even see him while he's kidnapped? Nah. No.

I can't figure out how to articulate the feelings in my brain into words, but the whole lack of Sun Summoners at the end falls in this category. They might be planning to bring this in later in the show though.

Similar to the Sun Summoner point but cutting out the Darkling's anguish at truly being alone made me sad, I actually loved that moment in the book.

The ordinary lives full of ordinary things. Loved the direct quote. Did not love that it did not actually happen, but maybe it will later. I just love the book ending overall.

Indifferent/mixed/true North neutral:

Ummmm. The entire Shu Han plotline. I loved getting to go to Shu Han. I loved seeing Tolya and Zoya team up with the Crows. Flashbacks and hallucinations, all great. But WHY was this blade even a THING!? I thought it'd lead to like "oh, it's not a blade, that was just a past Sun Summoner using the Cut and she was an ancestor of Alina's" or something and have a point ultimately, but it was just... a special blade. I have so many questions. I now realize that this is the hint to the Lives of the Saints that Leigh mentioned. I have not gotten my hands on that book yet. I'm more ok with it now, but this doesn't feel like just a hint or shoutout since this took up way too much time and energy and plot.

The multiple Grisha who got amplified by Baghra's bone dust. I thought it was one amplifier creature per person, and that you couldn't make multiple amplifiers from one being to be used by multiple Grisha. I mean adding in all those random powerful Grisha raised the stakes, but I am so confused.

Wesper past one-night-stand. I don't think I like it. But I don't know honestly. It makes me wonder how Kuwei will factor in later on.

Baghra figuring it out for Mal. It definitely made things move along faster. But personally, I kind of loved the chunk of time when Alina was worried she'd accidentally committed incest with the Darkling.

Okay with it:

The absence of white hair. It's ok with me.

Jeordie past reveal to fellow Crows so early. This was leaning towards hate but after finishing the season it's fine I guess. There were bigger gripes.

No Sturmhond tailoring. I had a feeling they wouldn't do it so I wasn't disappointed.

Controversial choice: The weird hint of Tolya/Inej at the end of the show. I am not necessarily here for them as a ship, I personally like the idea that Tolya is ace or aro, BUT I don't mind adding it in for the drama. Especially since it would mean I get more Tolya. Update: I've made a whole post about them.

Hey that's a good change/makes sense:

Combining the Palace and Spinning Wheel events. At first I was a little confused because it all was happening so soon, but that's more because I went into this season thinking it'd just be Siege and Storm and not realizing they'd cover Ruin and Rising too. I get why they did it, and it was a little repetitive in the books.

Not doing the Ice Court and instead mixing in parts of Crooked Kingdom. Most of Six of Crows took place over like 3 days so it'd be hard to stretch it out to line up with Alina's story. It was smart to pick bits of CK instead to add to the new parts.

Bringing in Dominik rather than just having flashbacks later. That was great.

The Nikolai shadow monster. I was worried they'd leave it out completely, but they just changed the order of events. So it's ok. But I will miss the emotional devastation that reading the description of the transformation caused me.

Keeping the powers. I personally didn't mind her losing them in the book, but I know a lot of people have problems with it and if Alina's sticking around she'll need her powers. Also, we definitely did not see her use them again until that last shot right? So are they completely changing the shadow thing too? Basically, I think the power loss is going to come up later and they just changed the timeline of when.

YES GOOD THANK YOU THIS IS AMAZING:

Jesper and his mom. I simultaneously love the show for doing that and also I hate them for the emotional distress it has caused me.

The bee that landed on Zoya's shoulder. I see you. I am not ready. (I also thought this was the Lives of the Saints hint not the blade)

Cutting out 99% of the Apparat. I imagine they'll do all his stuff later on now, but I hate that man so much and I'm glad we didn't have to suffer through him yet.

Showing us more scenes in Novyi Zem. I LOVED the costume design of the Zemeni. It was great. It made me happy.

Leaning into the political marriage. YES. This is what I wanted from the books. I was worried the show wouldn't touch Nikolina at all but they are really leaning into it while leaving the Zoyalai door open. The "thinking about me instead of forgetting about him" line was used and I am so happy.

Separating Mal and Alina so they can figure out if they love each other for each other or if it was destiny. I think the show is going to end with Malina so I like that this will give more to their ship if the show gets another season and we get to see them come back together.

Alina being in the Triumvirate. I can't even let myself think about David, but I am happy these three girls get to be the Triumvirate.

The abundance of Tolya. Just. Tolya. In general. Because I love him. Love him in the books. Love him in the show. Love love love Tolya.

I think overall, I liked or at least tolerated and understood most of the changes. But the changes that I didn't like, I really did not like.

If they can just have Nikolai call Alina "lovely" even once in the next season, I'll forgive everything. Honestly that's the one thing I'm somehow angriest about. I just really was looking forward to hearing Nikolai say "lovely."

[the-type-a]

Get to know me!

Thanks for the tag @catastrophicmind and @duncans-unibrow !! 💜

I wasn’t expecting to answer all of these but tbh this makes it more fun lol

🖌 - Do you have/want any tattoos?

I have one tattoo on the right side of my waist. It’s of my zodiac sign in cursive writing and the symbol above it. I do want more though!

💚 - What’s your favourite colour?

Purple! 💜

🍕 - What’s the last thing you ate?

Pancakes, bacon, and eggs. It was at like 1am but I was literally starving so Marcus cooked it all.

🕰 - What time is it where you are rn?

1:21pm (coming back to update that it’s 2:02pm now and idk why it took me so long to finish this 💀)

🌟 - What is your zodiac sign?

I could tell you my whole chart, but I’ll just stick to my big three. I’m a Pisces sun, Virgo moon, and Leo rising!

🌍 - What is your favourite accent?

Honestly have no idea. I could say English because of Harry, Liam, Louis, and Zayn. I could say Irish because of Niall. Or I could say country because of Marcus. 😂

⚡️ - Do you have any scars?

Nope!

🌺 - What’s your MBTI type?

ESTJ ✨

🥀 - Favourite animated movie?

The Little Mermaid 🧜🏽‍♀️

📺 - Favourite show?

I have more than one: total drama, grey’s anatomy, friends, game of thrones, the umbrella academy, euphoria, that 70s show. There’s probably more that I’m blanking on right now too.

😂 - Are you ticklish?

Yes, and I will physically hurt you if you try to tickle me.

💍 - Do you ever want to get married?

Of course! Fun fact: I was supposed to get married in November of 2020 but then covid happened. NOW we’re trying to save up on our own because our families keep trying to take over. Still want a Fall wedding though 🫶🏼

😳 - Do you like your name?

I love it! When I was younger I hated it, I have no idea why.

💙 - What colour is your bedroom?

Cream, kinda boring lmao

🤓 - How did you get your name?

My mom loves reading the Bible, Saint books, and Angel books. She told me she always loved the archangel Gabriel, so there you have it! She also said she liked the nickname Gaby.

🎓 - When did/do you graduate?

Graduated college in 2020. Never had a graduation ceremony or anything. Thanks COVID.

🍄 - Do you have/want any piercings?

I’m Latina so you already know my ears have been pierced since I was 4 months old. Then when I was 17 I got my bellybutton pierced. Idk why but I did want to get my nips pierced lmao but not anymore. Sorry that might have been tmi.

👀 - What colour are your eyes?

Dark brown. They almost look black but in the sunlight you can see the brown come out.

👱🏻‍♀️ - What is your go to hairstyle?

Just straight down. I never really do anything with my hair unless I’m going out to a special occasion. My hair is also naturally straight so I’ll just wash it, brush it, and go.

🥂 - Have you ever drank underage?

Unfortunately I did succumb to peer pressure with this one. Although I did try (and throw it up) beer in high school, my freaking DAD gave me beer in my purple and yellow SIPPY-CUP when I was like five. Then you know, drinking in college. It was a “dry campus” even if you were 21+ and everyone hated that.

🍾 - Have you ever gotten drunk?

Again, unfortunately. I’ve only blacked out twice though.

😱 - What’s your biggest fear?

Don’t come for me… but I genuinely don’t have one. There are things I don’t necessarily like, but not to the point that I’m genuinely afraid and can’t function around it.

🥵 - Would you rather be too hot or too cold?

Too cold. I absolutely HATE being hot. It’s easier to warm up if I’m cold too.

🌦 - What’s your favourite weather?

Sunny with a light breeze. Nothing too hot and not cold enough to need a jacket. (I freaking hate jackets btw)

🍂 - What’s your favourite season?

Autumn!!! 🥰

🐷 - What’s your favourite animal?

Polar bears 🐻‍❄️

🐶 - Do you have any pets?

A dog and a cat! Ranger and Nala! 🐾

😴 - What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

Maybe like 2 days? Not entirely sure but it’s around that.

🎨 - Any hobbies?

The gym, reading, writing, music, art.

🛩 - If travelling was free, where’s the first place you’d go?

Bora Bora!

🎇 - What’s your most searched thing on Google?

I always delete my Google search because I hate how cluttered it looks, sooooo idk what to tell you lol

📱 - Favourite app on your phone?

Tumblr, my beloved 💜

🤠 - Are you more of a city person or a country person?

100% a city girl! Born and raised in it, and when I tried to give the country a try I got extremely depressed.

Tagging: @aprincessnotaqueen @art-by-mira @courtneyenthusiast @doitcody @elskamo @hollowboobtheory @marshunter06 @ragamuffin-bites @sentimentalslut @straighttxhell @sugarlesswriting @unawarer @withjust-a-bite @xwhatababex

[mikka-minns]

Okay so there was this Mountain God who arrived at the Mountain Range called the Ba Vi Mountain which the 4 Immortals Mountain God, Son Tinh owns, he got there after Thuy Tinh was deposed from the Mountain, you see Thuy Tinh used to be one of the 3 Gods ruling that Mountain before he broke out in war against Son Tinh for losing to him at the Princess' Marriage challenge, people and Gods take that war he caused very seriously

This new Mountain God, his name is Cao Son, there are actually 5 Cao Son in Vietnamese mythology, they're different Gods with the same name and apparently THERE'S ONE WITH THAT NAME IN CHINA TOO

Btw the Chinese Cao Son is said to be an actual historical figure who traveled to Vietnam, the records said he loved it here! He wasn't an actual God but a well beloved figure here, still though he was so beloved we built temples to worship him, he can be a Mortal God, which is a term you can use to call Deified Humans

Somehow they overlap, researchers get so confused apparently, they dubbed it as eccentricity in Folklore Culture

Btw it's so funny to know 5 Gods worshipped here have the same name, Cao Son so everyone definitely got confused

The Ba Vi Mountain God Cao Son has a Water God, who's his brother, Quy Minh, this guy became the God who replaced Thuy Tinh after he was laid off his seat in the Ba Vi Mountain, he was responsible for controlling the rains and waters to help the common people, previously this was Thuy Tinh's job. Yes Gods here have certain jobs to do, it ain't free to be a God here, you got to have merits in order to be worshipped

Quy Minh was previously the Guardian God of a small Village, it said that he was protecting his Village from the damage, major flooding everywhere, Thuy Tinh was causing to the human in his rage during the Son Tinh-Thuy Tinh War, they're both Water Gods hence he was successful, though considering how he was just a Guardian of a small Village while Thuy Tinh damaged an entire country, I'm sure he was literally busting his ass to protect his Village and he was also said to have helped Son Tinh in defeating Thuy Tinh, they're from the same kind after all

Yeah I'm pretty sure Quy Minh hates Thuy Tinh considering what he did and all, lol imagine just being fine in protecting your small Village, then a fucking flood just come in out of nowhere and you have to try your best to stop it from destroying your Village. I think Quy Minh just acts hostile to Thuy Tinh anytime they meet, Thuy Tinh doesn't mind, he knows what he did and he already suffered for it

It's so interesting that a Mountain God and a Water God are brothers who reside in the same Mountain belonging to another pair of Mountain God and a past ruler Water God who were said to be friends/sworn brothers before the Water God lost against the Mountain God in getting a human bride hence they became opposing nemesis, the insane parallels. I'm glad the Later Mountain God and Water God didn't turn against eachother

Oh yeah btw Son Tinh is the Head of the 4 Immortals so his Mountain, the Ba Vi Mountain, also called Tan Vien Mountain, became the Ancestor of all Mountains in Vietnam as well as the Most Sacred Mountain, Tan Vien is actually Son Tinh's official name, he's actually titled Tan Vien Mountain Saint, Son Tinh is sort of a folk name/nickname. Yeah his Mountain became the greatest God's Mountain here because he is not only the Head of his Mountain as well as THE HEAD of the 4 Immortals, which are the highest ranked divine group here. It's actually simple they're the highest authority here, because they're the 4 figures that embody the core values of Vietnam

Oooh! More lore and some more drama! Keep it coming!

Wait so its Canon that some guy/god came from China and was like "i like it better here, actualy!" XD

[tehuti88-art]

4/12/24: r/SketchDaily theme, "Free Draw Friday." This week's character from my anthro WWII storyline is "Saint Olga" (real name never given), without garrison cap (top drawing) and with garrison cap (bottom drawing). She's a character too new to be on my "to-draw" list yet (sigh) though some backstory has emerged. She's a Red Army sniper whose single-minded motivation for revenge earns her the nickname St. Olga, after Olga of Kiev/Kyiv, who BTW is my 33x great-grandmother. There'll be more about her later in my art Tumblr and Toyhou.se.

Regarding her design, I wanted interesting/distinctive colors, these were inspired by the black/gold theme in some of St. Olga's art. Her hairstyle is loosely based on Roza Shanina's.

TUMBLR EDIT: Saint Olga is more of an occasionally appearing character, I can't really call her a background character, so I haven't delved a lot into deep development for her. What little info is available is given by characters like Boris, who've heard stories that she lost her husband to the Germans, who tortured and killed him (a sticking point for Boris, who was himself tortured and assaulted by Sgt. Lange and his guys). Her husband was a Red Army sniper; following his death, Saint Olga took up the rifle and assumed the role. Thus her nickname. German sniper Lt. Ratdog, who isn't especially big on book learning, doesn't understand the relation, so Capt. Himmel, who IS big on book learning, fills him in: Olga was a Viking princess, wife of Igor the Prince of Kiev (I'm using the historic name rather than the modern Kyiv, this was in the state once known as Kievan Rus'), who, following her husband's assassination by enemy forces, engaged in a brutal campaign of revenge which killed thousands. "And they made her a saint...?" Ratdog inquires, perplexed; Himmel tersely replies, "The church can be forgiving."

(And yes, this scary lady is one of my direct ancestors, through Anna Yaroslavna's/Anne of Kiev's marriage to Henry I of France, via a gateway ancestor of my maternal grandfather. Alas, I am not, so far, descended from Otto the Great...I'm descended from his sister Hedwig. *grumbles*)

Olga makes repeat, brief appearances throughout the story, never sticking around for long. She's fueled by nothing other than hatred and rage. She has a run-in with Ratdog, who is actually not much different from her--he's motivated to take up his rifle as a weapon following the death of his son, which he incorrectly blames on the Americans (based on false info fed to him by Wehrmacht sergeant Udo Eisen--actually, his employer General Schavitz is to blame)--yet, even though he empathizes with her for this reason and avoids killing her, she expresses no such magnanimity in return--her shot misses when her gun malfunctions, but she vows that she'll kill him the next chance she gets. Ratdog has a strict honor code that prohibits him from killing others under certain circumstances; Olga has no such honor code. Cross her, and you're dead.

Her relationship with other Allied characters is complicated in that she refuses to collaborate with them, and considers even some of them the enemy. Romani sniper Didrika is basically on her side, but Didrika is also German, and Olga despises Germans. Even worse is that Didrika, Ratdog, and Ratdog's companion PFC Klemper, despite being enemies, share a grudging respect for and occasionally even assist each other (Ratdog opposes the Nazi regime, and Klemper follows wherever he goes); to Olga, this makes Didrika a Nazi sympathizer, even though neither Ratdog nor Klemper is a Nazi. Lie down with (rat)dogs, as they say. Then there's Boris, a literal Red Army Russian. It isn't bad enough that he's taken up with Didrika. He did so after deserting the Red Army with some of his men, so although he's still loyal to the communist cause and hates most of the Germans himself, to Olga, he's no better than a traitor. Olga does give these two one pass, but just to give them a warning, that the next time they meet, they shouldn't expect any mercy. Didrika's reaction is much like Ratdog's; Boris, on the other hand, understands where she's coming from, and says that if he were in her shoes, "I would kill me, too."

Olga's spite isn't limited to combatants, either. When a German target uses a civilian woman as a human shield, Olga shoots and kills both without a second thought. On another occasion, she opens fire on a public gathering and just misses hitting Leopoldine Jäger (Himmel shields her and is slightly wounded in the process). Ratdog and company even come across evidence that she set fire to a homestead, shades of what Lange's company did to Klemper's and some other homes; difference is, even Lange never gunned down the fleeing occupants. Olga? She has no such qualms. The Germans and even the Americans (who are equally unsuccessful in getting her to work with them) find her brutality breathtaking.

Result of all this is that most of the other characters, Axis and Allied alike, are frequently mystified by Saint Olga's morals, since most of them have certain lines they won't cross, while Olga appears willing and ready to kill anyone at a moment's notice. There's no appeal to her better nature, no way to get on her good side, no means of working with her. She will either pass on by or consider you a target. Almost everyone learns to outright avoid trying to interact with her for this reason. Essentially, she's a chaos agent, and even the rest of the Red Army doesn't bother trying to rein her in.

Olga pops up at random throughout the story to target...pretty much anyone, and throw everything in disarray, which occasionally helps one party or other depending on who she's targeting, though of course this is never intentional. She never succeeds in killing Ratdog though this is based far more on blind luck and his own sniper skills combined. She does ALMOST kill him one time when he declines to try the same since she's wounded, and is spared only when Klemper tries taking the shot instead; Klemper is not a sniper, so he misses, and Olga escapes to go tend to her injuries. Klemper scoffs at the rattled Ratdog, "Your heart is too soft."

Olga eludes death numerous times, sometimes just barely, but at last, during a confrontation where Ratdog finally attempts to shoot her yet runs out of ammunition, someone else takes the shot--Olga lets out a small noise and drops to the ground. She's still alive, making it clear that her shooter isn't a sniper; Ratdog and Klemper hear bootsteps, and Maj. Jäger and Capt. Himmel appear. Jäger's gun is drawn--he's the shooter. The look on his face makes it pretty clear he hasn't forgotten nearly losing his beloved Leopoldine. He approaches the wounded Olga and looks down at her coldly. When he says, "This crusade you have, to avenge your husband at any cost; what exactly has it gotten you? Has it brought him back?" Olga, panting and bleeding, gives a weak laugh and replies, "You...you know nothing about family."

Jäger stares at her a moment, then lifts his pistol and shoots her in the forehead. Himmel and Ratdog flinch at the report. They and Klemper stand by silently as Jäger holsters his gun and turns away from Olga's body, saying, "And that's how you take care of pests," heading back toward his vehicle. Himmel hesitates briefly before crossing himself and following. Ratdog and Klemper are left behind; after a moment Ratdog approaches Olga's body and kneels to look her over. He carefully removes the medals from her breast; Klemper comes forward now and asks, "What are you doing...?"

"Maybe she has family somewhere," Ratdog muses, looking at the medals. "Maybe they'll want these back. Someday."

Klemper is briefly silent before saying, "She's probably like us, and has no family anymore," and turning away. Ratdog feels a pang--thinking of just how many of them have no one left, why Saint Olga fought as hard and as viciously as she did--then stands, pauses a moment more (he feels like he should offer a prayer, except he doesn't believe in God and doesn't know any prayers, so all he can do is offer a moment of silence), and follows Klemper away.

I don't know what becomes of Saint Olga's body. Some time after the war has ended, Ratdog--now mourning Klemper's death (by sniper fire) and going by his civilian name, Adel--at last has the chance to return the medals to Olga's cousin, the closest member of her family still surviving. He asks the woman what was Olga's real name. She pauses before replying that Olga is now her real name; her cousin effectively died when she lost her husband, so Saint Olga is who she became. Adel, who gave up his own name while his heart was full of hate, understands, and doesn't press further. Before she leaves with the medals, Olga's cousin pauses and addresses him by his German nickname, Rattenhund--this was the name Olga had used to refer to him, as an exact translation was lacking in Russian. She had mentioned her enemy and counterpart, the German sniper, before; while it couldn't be said that she respected him, still, she'd heard of the death of his son, and she understood him. "One thing that make you two different," her cousin says in stilted German, "she lose her heart for good...you get your heart back." She taps her fingers against Adel's chest. "Look after it," she says, thanks him again for the medals, and leaves.

Adel, whose heart is no longer full of hatred yet is still raw from loss, finds he has no words left to say.

[Saint Olga 2024 [‎Friday, ‎April ‎12, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:17 AM]]

[Saint Olga 2024 2 [‎Friday, ‎April ‎12, ‎2024, ‏‎12:00:28 AM]]

[ariondevereux]

ALSO ALSO BDSI YES YOU ARE SO RIGHT ABOUT SHILOH 🥰🥰🥰 i’m not strong enough to break the pattern. i always always have to romance the best friend especially if they’re flirting with me right in my face 😔🫰🏼not so fun fact but i actually named my gang “draken” after ken and i hc that the gang logo is the dragon tattoo on the left side of his head. he’s so schmexyy <33 i will make shiloh watch and read tokrev so he knows his gang’s history

Yes it's me again (so sorry for cluttering ur inbox😭😭) Omg!! I would love to know some more facts/hcs about your BDSI Draken and shiloh pls. Only if u don't mind of course. 👀👀👀🙏🏾

I named mine Phoenix after P from golden because they're one of my faves (ik so original 😂😭). Like I give my Ocs the most random names. Sometimes I look at the oc I created and go "yeah they look like their name is Rohan😌" other times I look on baby websites for names because my brain is too tiny. I would love to know the process behind how u name ur Ocs. Draken has one of my fave character designs and he was such a sweetheart, I loved him sm. Friends to lovers is top tier and no one can tell me otherwise, the mutual pining, the teasing from their friend group, the "I love u but I don't wanna ruin our friendship", the whole idiots to lovers situations, the slow burn its all so good. A variation of this trope I really like is when they're childhood friends and then they get separated for some time and one of them or both doesn't remember each other for a bit and when they do the other person's personality changed due to some stuff that happened and then there's just angst and slow burn gallore jdjdjdjdjd. Kind of like rivens route in sinners and saints by @/sinnersandsaints-linwrites.

WAIT NO I WAS KIDDING ABOUT BDSI DRAKEN SHEJAKSJJA but yeah he was my inspiration for the gang name and logo <333 back before my mh went to shit and i could still draw, i wanted to make a silly fanart of shiloh dressed as draken 😭 like pls i love draken so much he’s the reason i got into tokrev. he’s such a gentle giant and he’s so noble like he’s the least insane out of all of them UGH i just know he’s boyfriend material i love himmmm

oooo tell me more about phoenix 👀 and no cause it’s a pretty name!! that’s also one of my spare names for future ocs with “nyx” as the nickname hehe

Sometimes I look at the oc I created and go "yeah they look like their name is Rohan😌"

THIS IS LITERALLY ME LMFAOOO one of my ocs is named olivia and my fc is gracie abrams because i was like “hmm🤔 she looks like an olivia” and it’s funny because i came across one musing blog here and one of their ocs is also olivia with gracie abrams as the fc nsnsjsksjs but most often i give my ocs names that i wish i had. except for annika, my former wayhaven detective. technically we have the same name, mine’s just spelled differently but i wish it was spelled annika lololol but yeah once i come up with a name, i’ll just try to think of a surname that i think flows well with the name

AND YES YOU CAN NEVER GO WRONG WITH FRIENDS TO LOVERS !!! like other tropes are pretty but they’re not f2l 🤭🤭 and the scrumptiousness of childhood friends to lovers…….. you get it. i don’t know if you play tears of themis but there’s this character named luke with this same trope and god the angst is so so good i think you’re gonna love it

[tired-beholding-bitch]

fire exists the first in light

guess who’s in love with agnes montague and decided to make it everyone’s problem ❤️ it is me, yes ❤️

honestly this is just self-indulgent fluff because she deserved to have soft and kind and gentle things and she never go to, and jack had such a sweet and bright love for her. idk it just makes my heart clench to think about them.

enjoy! here you can find the fic on ao3 if you prefer ✨

ASHES denote that fire was;

Respect the grayest pile

For the departed creature’s sake

That hovered there awhile.

Fire exists the first in light,

And then consolidates,—

Only the chemist can disclose

Into what carbonates.

— Emily Dickinson

Agnes forgot her scarf.

Jack confirms that’s still the case by stealing another sideways glance at her, as if anything would have changed in the last minute or so.

He’s usually better at not staring at her quite so plainly. Usually, though, he isn’t as distracted.

Her throat is pale and delicate, her skin smooth like cream.

Jack wants to run his index finger down the long, perfect column of it, and press down gently in the hollow between her clavicles.

Instead, he curls his hand into a fist at his side, tendons tensing and relaxing as he tears his eyes away.

It doesn’t last, really. She’s hard to look away from, the way she stands tall, her shoulders drawn back and her chin tilted up, trusting her feet to find their place on the earth even on the irregular terrain of the park.

She approaches most things like that – unwaveringly certain of the end result, never pausing for questions – and sometimes he wonders what that makes of him, when he hardly knows where he’ll be next week. If she’ll look at him one day and decide, as one would decide whether to wear a white or black shirt, to simply never show up on his doorstep again.

It’d hardly be surprising, but he doesn’t like dwelling on it.

There’s no point to it – either she’ll stay or she won’t, but she is here right now, and that’s enough.

He sighs, glancing up at the sky. It looks like rain, but then, every day looks like rain in November. When he risks another look at Agnes, estimating enough time has passed as not to make it weird, she’s already looking back.

Her expression is wide open, thoughtful. His heart twinges sweetly at the sight of her lips, curled into a subdued version of her lopsided smile.

Jack isn’t a poet.

If he was, he’d be able to find better words to describe the way her hair burns against the slate-grey winter sky, dead branches threaded through it like dark, engorged veins. The subtle warmth of her body next to his, growing stronger every time their shoulders brush in passing. The white mist of her breath, thick and opaque like smoke.

He wants to hold her hand.

The next time their arms touch, he can feel the heat radiating from the back of her hands, curling around his wrist like a warning.

He doesn’t reach out. Instead, he swallows, and speaks before he can talk himself out of it.

«Do you want my scarf?» he says. It still comes out tentative, somewhat. He’s nervous around her. At this point, perhaps he’ll never stop, and he’s alright with the idea. It feels right, that there would be a price to pay to see her eyes widening, all amber and muted gold, as she hums in pleased surprise.

Her hand goes to her throat, long fingers wrapping around the naked skin, fingertips tapping an absent-minded rhythm. She nods.

The scarf is stifling around his neck, wound too tightly in his haste to leave the house. He unravels the knot quite gladly at her assent, holding out the bundle of fabric for her to take. It’s easy to imagine stepping in front of her, carefully tucking the ends into her coat. Her fingers twist in the soft cotton, tugging it closer, and he lets go of the thought.

She doesn’t tie it at all, letting it hang loose and swing slightly back and forth as she walks. The black cloth is a stark contrast to the paleness of her – it makes her face look sharper, carved roughly out of bone-white driftwood. 

He wonders what she’d look like clad in vibrant greens and the dark yellow of autumn leaves, in robin egg blue and lavender purple. He hopes to be still here in the spring, if only to see a sundress flutter in the breeze around her knees, and feels adrift.

They walk in silence.

It lingers, stretching in the yawning distance between their fingers, scant and yet impossible to breach. It’s familiar.

Agnes doesn’t talk often.

In fact, it’d be maybe more accurate to say she doesn’t talk almost at all, except to offer tidbits of information in response to some rambling anecdote or other about his family or his friends or his job. He had quickly run out of stories, his life exhausting itself into her steady breathing and the cracking of twigs under her weight, and now they spend most of their time together just walking in the rapidly darkening light.

He holds what little she volunteered close to his chest, even if it paints a rather strange picture.

Something about a large family, and religion, and years she spent away, tangled in something bigger than he can understand. She doesn’t mind the cold. She doesn’t like spiders.

The time she told him about the spiders was the only one in which she’d let something like anger slip in her voice – it had seethed, crackling and powerful, and the air around them had grown hazy with the smell of smoke and burning dust.

He’d never talked about it again. He tries not to think too hard about any of it.

It’s kind of hard to do, though, when the only other occasions Agnes initiates conversation involve the kind of question that makes him freeze on the spot, anxiety writhing in his chest like it wants to scoop something out of it.

«Do I scare you?» she asks, today. She’s smiling as she speaks – the sort of there, sort of not smile that makes his heart contract and expand too violently, recoiling against his ribcage like a faulty gun –, her head just barely turned towards him. Her voice doesn’t raise at the end, and it comes out not sounding like a question at all.

She doesn't wait for an answer, either.

Her expression doesn't change, but he can still tell – with the absolute certainty of dreams, that lingering conviction – that she's sad when she wasn't before. Something in her choice, her gaze meaningful and heavy.

«It's okay if I do. I'm supposed to.» she says, and he can't gauge the emotion in her tone but it clings to the words like blood, her expression unreadable. Final.

Jack hates it with furious, single-minded intensity.

Then the streetlamp next to them blinks to life, casting its warm glow against the encroaching darkness of the evening, and suddenly she's awash with light.

It takes his breath away.

Agnes has always been beautiful. Now she's lit from within, almost, and he has the insane thought that if he touched her he'd burn.

He still wants.

Her eyes flicker like a summer bonfire, dark specks of terracotta dancing in her irises. This close he can make out the golden freckles dotting her nose – the red, suffused glow of her cheeks, the rose-tint of her lips he wants to kiss brighter. He might die if he did, he thinks, his wildly beating heart bursting out of his chest at last, but she's real and warm and breathing, and she might well be the only real and warm and breathing thing left in the world, in the island of light the streetlamp paints around them, his breath freezing in the glacial November air before he can fully exhale.

It leaves him unbalanced, teetering on the edge of something he isn't quite ready to face.

He falls.

«Can I hold your hand?» he asks, and it echoes too loud in the quiet between them. Presumptuous, maybe. 

Heart rabbiting in his temples, climbing up his throat to pulse in his palate as he waits to see if he finally pushed his luck too far, he waits. Stops two steps behind her, leaving her space.

Agnes doesn't leave.

Instead, she stops, two steps in front. She rummages for a second in the deep pocket of her big black coat, making a small sound in her throat when she finds what she was looking for.

She slips the leather gloves on one at a time, primly, tugging them under the cuff of her sleeves until no skin is left exposed. They're maybe a little small for her – he watches her flex her fingers inside them, stretching them out, like

It's endearing. Even more so when she thrusts her arm behind her, fingers wiggling a little. He can't tell if she's trying to encourage him or just still getting used to the feeling of leather.

Jack takes her hand anyway, and ignores the way his own shakes as he does.

It feels momentous, when she tightens her grip, squeezing gently.

Warmth seeps through where their palms touch, flushed together, sensation coming back tingling and prickly to his cold skin.

«No one had ever held my hand before.» Agnes says, and her smile is more there than it isn't, her mouth soft and open with it. She doesn't sound sad anymore.

«I won't let go until you ask me to.» he says.

It isn't until the words are out he finds they sound as sure as hers ever did.

[delicrieux]

☆ﾐ 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚊𝚢 “𝚘𝚑”

PART 13: ...O-OH?

it’s the night of the big stream. y/n uncovers a strange, albeit deep, bond with charlie. corpse interrupts her garden date with sykkuno quite unceremoniously. tensions are high as ever; proximity chat reveals internal monologues and stray thoughts. y/n’s “batshit insane” energy affects everyone. this is, quite literally, the best game of among us bretman has ever played.

─── corpse husband x reader, sykkuno x reader (if you squint, it’s very one sided)  ─── soc. media + written fiction! ─── word count: 6.1k oops ─── ❥ reqs: sum people requested some interaction w bretman + jealous corpse + flirty sykkuno

author’s note: guys....GUYS WE’RE ON THE 3RD “OH” hope ur excited cus i am!!! this was rly fun to write, but then again, everything is better than writing an essay lmao! this is extremely chaotic and a bit seggsy but like a minuscule bit u wont even notice it i swear xx there’s not much social media in this one, mostly written lol. as always lmk wat u think n thank u for all ur kind words n sooo manyyyy ideassss!!! love u lots

ultimate masterlist.  ҉  myso masterlist   ҉   previous. ҉   next.

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It’s happening, you think, picking the discreet, angelic white color for your astronaut - with a halo and all, truly, you are a seraph that stepped through the gates of heaven and descended onto earth to grace these morals with your presence...quite literally, you’re not only donning white in game, but also in real life, cute as a button or more like as a bunny. Cat girls are overrated - cat boys, on the other hand, you’ll ardently defend till your last breath - but bunny girls...Safe to say, your chat had been going feral. Your endless ego is fed well. You even swore on your heart that no devilish trickery would follow in this game - you had left your snake ways behind you.

No one believed you. The Roaches know you too fucking well.

The influx of new subs, however, do not. Look at this cute girl! She wouldn’t hurt a fly! You chuckle at the compliments. At the exact same moment, Rae pipes up on the discord call, “Y/n is leering and cackling evilly. No one trust her.”

Demon woman herself must be watching your stream before starting her own. You pout, all adorable and innocent, but your eyes gleam slyly. Truly, a mastermind of manipulation! Look at you go! The chat is swooning. The viewer number steadily climbs past 16K and you hum happily, welcoming all that decided to join your little clan, “Don’t listen to Rae. Wifey is mad because I said I’m not bringing her back a souvenir. Well guess what, bitch, I’m the gift.”

Your perfect image does not quite align with your tone, nor the affectionate nickname you call your roommate (bitch, not wifey). The new viewers are none the wiser though, just like your new stream mates.

There is laughter from people you don’t quite know. The lobby is almost full, but not everyone has trickled in yet.

“Filing divorce papers right now.” Rae mumbles, but you hear the smile in her voice. It makes you crack a grin, too. 

More hello’s and shy introductions to the people in the lobby. Sykkuno’s green astronaut pops in with a upbeat, “Hey, everyone! Hi, Y/n!” as his character circles around yours. A collective awww echoes in your stream chat as you, quite breathless at the wholesomeness, reply with a “Hi! Hi hi!” as well.

Corpse is next to join, mysteriously ominous. The discord call is pure chaos, everyone screaming over the other variations of his name while stressing different syllables. Silent as a grave, he just stands there, his black astronaut seemingly eyeing everyone in the lobby. 

Alas, when the noise dies down, he utters, “Whaddup, baby.” and it’s pandemonium all over again. You are screeching/laughing along with the rest. His astronaut swiftly glides to Sykkuno, still circling around you, “Hey, Sykkuno.” He says. The latter abruptly stops. The game hasn’t even started, and already - betrayal! Sykkuno starts circling around Corpse now, leaving you in the dust.

“Hey, dude!”

“Yo,” You interrupt, “I’m like here too, yeah?”

“Fight, fight, fight!” Pokimane jeers. You can’t see her, but you’re certain she’s pumping her fists in the air. 

“Let’s leave the bloodshed for the game, yeah?” Dream offers past her laugh ridden urging.

“No, fuck that, let’s start this shit right now,” Charlie declares - his monotone is strangely pleasant to the ear, and you lean back in your chair with a thoughtful hum. Something about his energy just clicks with yours instantly, but perhaps you’re judging too quickly- “Got my fucking knife ready to slit some throats. You can all pretend you aren’t ready to kill on sight, but that’s not me. I’ll teabag your dead fucking body.”

-yeah, no, your initial estimate had been correct! What a pleasant surprise, you feel like you and he will get along beautifully. 

“Way to be subtle, Charles.” Rae snorts.

“Subtle doesn’t make an interesting game, Rae,” He’s quick to bite back, “and if I’m Impostor, you bet your fucking ass I’m going after you first.”

“Noooooo!” She shrieks, rushing to your astronaut, which is still just standing there, abandoned, like the equivalent of that one emoji, “Y/n, protect me.”

“Of course, baby.” You purr. 

There’s mumbling in the discord call, though it’s barely audible. Corpse seems to be repeating the word to himself: Baby...Baby?...Baby...

“You’re gonna stab me in the back the first chance you get, won’t you?” She questions, already painfully aware of the answer.

“You know it!”

“Finally, someone that��s not fucking cowering in their boots and flaunting their real nature.” Charlie says, “Y/n, form a Big Dick Alliance with me.”

“Oh for sure, man.” You agree immediately, trailing to his in game figure, “Let’s show these virgins how it’s done.”

“This is going to be a mess, isn’t it?” Sean’s voice rings with a cheerful laugh, making you flustered. Yes, you’re actually playing with THE JacksepticeyeTM. You still haven’t fully wrapped your head around that part, “I’m very excited to see where this will go.”

“Nowhere good.” You say with unparalleled sincerity - every word you speak to him, the icon, the legend, the one of the few youtubers you actually actively follow, must be genuine. You doubt you can lie to him. He’s too good of a person. You admire him too much. Stuck between wanting to be a shady bitch and an absolute saint, you refrain from addressing him more - you are simply not worthy.

its the y/n trying to act like a normal person in front of jack for me

ikr she looks ready to join the monastery

each day we stray closer to gods light???

Your viewers are snide as always. Gosh, you love them.

The last player pops in, fashionably late, “Hey, y’all.”

“Hey, Bretman!” The call choruses somewhat harmoniously.

“Hi, daddy.” He’s speaking to Corpse now, a smile in his voice - you can hear it even past the static of his atrocious mic. Your eyes widen, eyebrows shooting up. Your friends are cackling, but confusion refrains you from doing the same - were you not the only one Corpse offered, seemingly so long ago!, to be his sugar baby? 

One betrayal after the other. You’re glad for the Big Dick Alliance. The name has a nice right to it, too. 

Corpse laughs, “...Hey, Bretman. How are you today?”

Damn, two sentences for him, but not even a word spoken to you!? You’re already scripting a very melodramatic paragraph you will text him after the stream. With poorly masked discontent, you mutter, “Wow, thanks for such a warm welcome, Corpse, my day’s going great, yeah, loving the company.”

“Now now miss girl,” Bretman chimes, “we can’t be all daddy’s favorite.”

“Careful,” Charlie drones, “I think you just got yourself onto Y/n’s shit list.”

“Right next to Corpse Husband and Valkyrae.” You agree, “Sykkuno!” You suddenly call him.

“Uhm-Uh-Yes?” Is his nervous reply.

“You’re safe.” You state coldly, “For now.”

“You are not going after Sykkuno on my watch.” It must be a belated holiday miracle because Corpse finally decides to address you. His words seem to awake something in him, “Hey-Hey-Hey-” He swiftly glides to you, standing right next to your minute virtuous angel, “When are you coming back to Cali?”

corpse stop acting weird challenge

literally omg lmao

he does bring up a good point y/n y u not in cali yet?!

^pack it up corpse simp he disrespected the queen when he didnt say hi

“Back off, buddy,” Charlie interjects, “this spot is for Big Dick Alliance members only.”

“I’m never returning.” You inform him, your voice cold like the Arctic snow, and the look in your eyes is no kinder. You feel like you’re having a stare down through screen. 

Silence stretches. Is this an intimidation tactic? Because if it is, it’s a paltry one. Your conviction to be petty is stronger than any vulnerability you might feel.

“Then I have nothing to say to you.” He admits and fucks right off with that. Fine, go join Sykkuno and Rae in their little corner of betrayal! Friendship ended with Corpse, now Charlie is your best friend.

“Okay, guys, guys, guys-” Toast, noting this is going to spiral any minute now, tries to catch their attention, “Let’s start?!”

You look into your camera, and the roaches know what you’re thinking. You’re twins like that, communicating telepathically. You are taking back your tender promise of not being a conniving bastard. It’s fucking on. You will destroy everyone in your path, starting with the guy you have a stupid crush on - maybe?! Feelings are confusing, you’d rather just not think point blank period.

With no objections from the cast, the counter ticks away seconds and, for the first round, you’re stuck as CREW MATE.

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Charlie is a gift. Truly, you had not expected such a sudden, wonderful relationship to bloom. How have you not known of him sooner?! It’s a crime that you hadn’t spoken to him earlier. You are a 100% certain if you had found him before you started streaming, he would’ve been a big inspiration. 

The two of you do your silly little tasks and curse like sailors, commenting about this and that thanks to proximity chat. You wouldn’t have been able to stand the claustrophobic silence if it was just a normal Among Us game - to think, missing out on all his foully worded quips! It almost springs a tear into your eye. He’s just as unhinged as you.

worried about this dynamic 

its a trainwreck lol i love it plz collab more plz

Caught in a headed discussion in Electrical - TikTok trends, or audios specifically - you defend the app the best you can. Charlie thinks it’s super cringe, and you insist it’s part of the charm as you connect wires.

“I mean, have...-do you know that one audio, the one that goes, like,” You’re spilling your words, heated, frustrated that he’s so dismissive of the app that literally saved 2020, “it goes like, uhm,” You clear your throat, prep your voice - even take a sip of your favorite drink. Drawing the syllables, you try your best to make it drop an octave - it must sound like you’re doing an atrociously bad and nauseatingly scratchy Corpse impression with an extra dramatic flair, “My assssssss, your cockkk, you do the mathhh.”

“Did-Did I just-” You freeze hearing Corpse’s voice, finally done with your task. Charlie is muffling his laughter behind his palm; Corpse’s astronaut stands in the doorway, “What the fuck did I just walk into?” He seems genuinely confused, though a strangely winded. You’re mortified. Your shoulders are shaking. You look at the stream chat but it’s going too fast for you to follow. Manic laughter bubbles in your chest and you squeeze your eyes shut, mouth split into a toothy grin, lowering your head and trying to hide the blush dusting your cheeks.

“Hey? Guys? What the fuck are you talking about?” He questions again.

“Honestly?” Charlie chimes, “No fucking clue. TikTok, I think. Ask Y/n.”

You can’t reply. You’re crying. You cover your face with your palms, muttering a soft oh my god before bursting into a full blow laugh, throwing your head back, the motion accidentally knocking your headphones off.

“Y/n.” Corpse calls you, “Fuck was that?”

You’re howling. Your stomach hurts. There are literal tears in your eyes. You think Charlie might be laughing too, but you can’t really tell over your loud screeching. Hastily fixing your headphones, you wipe away the tears stuck to your lower lashes, heaving, “S-Sorry, I-” You stutter, breaking into another fit of giggles. Corpse patiently waits you to calm down. Catching your breath, you start again with a sniffle, “TikTok, yeah.” You idly fix your hair, trying to bite down a smile, “It’s an audio.”

“What- What kind of videos are you watching?”

“The good kind.” Your reply is instant, merciless, “Also, why are you here? We’re having a BDA meeting, you know.”

“I-I...” He trails off, “I...I heard people talking and...I just came here to check it out, but...I’m regretting it.” There’s a lilt in his voice, and you know he doesn’t regret jack shit. You bet he’s smiling. You wish you could see it.

“Bitch, then leave!” You huff. You aren’t sure what is with him today, and you don’t want to stick around and find out - his playfulness makes your stomach flip at the most inappropriate times! Like when you’re trying to sound threatening. You must retreat posthaste, “No, wait, I’ll do it for you.” You say, brushing past his character. Charlie follows after you.

“Dude, you’re so fucking lucky neither of us are the Impostor because you’d be deader than I’ve been feeling since I was 10.” Your favorite companion comments. Charlie is truly a modern wordsmith. You’re pretty sure you adore him, because you’re nodding your head, so quick to agree with him that even you’re surprised. 

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A meeting is called. You spare a glance at your fallen crew mates. They will be missed. Sean most of all, God, why does heaven always take the good ones?! The game feels emptier without him, even if you really only passed him once on your trek to Cafeteria with Charlie.

You may or may not have been avoiding him, afraid you’d accidentally say something horrible and he would hate you. It’s a silly fear, though a deep one. And with Charlie keeping you company, you had not uttered a single objectively  good, or even coherent, sentence. Your parents can’t watch this stream once it’s uploaded onto your Youtube channel. They know you’re barely keeping it together in most of your videos, but here, now? Yeah, no. Charlie is already hard to listen to on his own for sensitive viewers, and hearing you agree with literally everything he says with your own chaotic ideas? Your dad would stumble into an early grave.

Mom probably wouldn’t mind too much, but you’d have to explain your relationship status again. She is under the assumption that everyone you collab with is your significant other. You’d say it began with Sykkuno, though the exclamation of “Finally! My daughter isn’t pathetically single! We need to celebrate.” had started with Rae. Truly, a scandal.

Speaking of which, Sykkuno is gone, too, but you had time to mourn him already. You found his body roughly ten minutes ago; so torn with the fresh agony of heartbreak, you could not do anything else but cry. It was Charlie, bless his heart, that reported it.

“Someone killed Jack,” You say, voice dripping with venom, “court is now in session. I’m ready to vote the fucker out.”

People speak all at once. Toast roars over them, “ORDER! ODER IN COURT!” as he slams his hand onto his desk repeatedly. That seems to work, though briefly.

“I think it’s Y/n.” Corpse says. You stare at him, hand gripping your heart, mouth falling open in surprise.

flame him

corpse boutta be a corpse fr

beat his ass queen!!!!!

“Pardon my french,” You grumble, “but nani the fuck?!”

“It’s definitely Y/n, I found her and Charlie conspiring in Electrical. Surrealist experience of my fucking life, but it’s definitely her.”

“Dude, we’ve been over this,” Charlie sighs, shushing Rae who was about to comment something - knowing your luck, it was probably in favor of the man throwing you under the bus, “we would’ve snapped your fucking neck the moment you walked in. But we didn’t.”

“Yeah, we didn’t.” Corpse notes, “I said nothing about you, I’m just saying it’s definitely her. She probably didn’t kill in front of you because of your stupid alliance-”

“Someone sounds salty because he wasn’t invited.” Pokimane snickers.

“-or possibly she did tell you and you won’t betray her for the exact same reason.”

“That’s some big brain logic you pulled there, genius,” Charlie says, absolutely unimpressed, “sure you didn’t have an aneurysm trying to connect all of that together?”

“Well,” Rae pipes up, “Y/n and Charlie did say they will kill right before the game started. If you ask me, it’s not unbelievable. And Sykkuno was sorta on the shit list.”

“I’m writing down your name twice, Rachell.” You spit.

“Not helping your case at all, Y/n...” Dream worries, “And Rae makes a good point. Charlie and you have professed desire for murder. I’m just saying! It’s a bit suspicious, you know?”

The next words to leave Corpse’s lips sound incredibly smug, “See?” He drawls.  The pressure is getting to you - you don’t understand where this beguiling talent of his to convince literally everyone comes from, but it doesn’t inspire any confidence. Your fist suddenly feels incredibly lonely, so useless - oh, how you long to swing at him, “It’s definitely Y/n.”

“I dunno...” Toast mumbles.

“It’s Y/n.”

“Corpse-” You try, but he's ignoring you - shocker, as if he hadn’t been doing that from the very start of this stupid game - and chanting your name like it’s a fucking mantra or something, a smile in his voice, knowing, relishing in the fact that he’s grating on your nerves, “FIRST OF ALL,” You scream into the mic, successfully cutting him off; catching your breath, you exhale, and continue, calmly, lowly,  “get my pretty name out of your mouth.” 

There’s a pause full of tense silence. 

Then, there’s a sound, seemingly stuck in the back of his throat, “...O-Oh...?”

“Second of all,” You continue, words like honey dipped in arsenic, “This is the clearest smear campaign I have ever witnessed. By how hard you’re trying to frame me for fuck knows what reason, I’m led to believe it’s you that killed them. You’re the Impostor.”

“Corpse wouldn’t kill Sykkuno, though.” Rae comments, skeptical.

“Then the other Impostor did it.” You counter.

“Maybe you’re both Impostors.” Pokimane chirps.

“Y/n would never betray the Big Dick Alliance like that.” Charlie states.

You grin, “Charlie, I literally love you.” 

“Wait hold up now,” Corpse seems to get his bearings together, “what’s this about love I’m hearing?”

“I have none for you, dick.” You snap, flipping him off. Your chat cheers. While he can’t see it, you hope he senses it through the screen, “I officially hate you.”

“No, wait-”

“Boo, Corpse, you suck.” Toast laughs.

“Y/n, please-”

“Let’s all vote for Corpse Husband, okay?” You say it like it’s his full official name with an encouraging smile and multiple soft nods. Sykkuno can’t be here to nod, so you’ll do it for him. You eye the rapidly decreasing timer before clicking on Corpse’s figure and voting for him. The VOTED icon instantly pops up beside your adorable astronaut.

“Baby, I-” It slips past his lips so easily, as if he’s not even thinking about it, like it’s only natural to call you that and a spike of anxiety shoots up, making you glare. It’s only halfhearted. You try your best to ignore the rapid and uncoordinated pulses of your heart. Replace unwanted feelings with anger and hate - works like a charm, every time.

“You are not allowed to call me that.” You hiss. The chat spams snake emojis. 

“Wait-” Bretman chimes, “Hold up, y’all, slow down a minute. Why does Corpse never call me baby?”

“Yeah!” Pokimane agrees, “I want to be baby, too!”

Pokimane may not have been called baby, but you just single-handedly decided her nickname for her - Target 4. Welcome to the shit list, she is officially your public enemy number 1. You aren’t sure why the thought of Corpse ever referring to anyone else as baby makes you sick to your stomach (you actually do know why, but brain no think at the moment), but you wish this whole conversation never happened. You don’t like it.

20 seconds left. More VOTED icons appear by your friends. Corpse is the last one to cast his ballot at, you assume, you, as the rest wait for his quick explanation before everyone (or not) returns to the game, “...Because she’s my baby.”

Goodbye. Life had been sweet, and there was sorrow, though the amount of embarrassment you feel now is worse than when the internet found your cringe worthy high school pictures on your mom’s Facebook. It’s a mixture of dread and excitement - the pleasure of being noticed, cherished even, though anxious from vulnerability. Someone is screaming a very prolonged “WHAAAAT?!”, or maybe multiple people are, you aren’t sure, your ears start to hurt from the loud, conflicting cacophony of voices as you stare blankly at the screen. You received two votes, just like Corpse, Charlie got one, the rest skipped. With no one flung out, you all find yourself back in Cafeteria again.

Baby. My baby? My baby. My baby. The sentence is playing ping-pong in your mind, reverberating louder each time. You’re actually speechless for the first time in your life; your chest hurts, your heart beating so fast your hands start shaking. Had he meant it? Or was this a some joke? Was he trying to get a rise out of you again? You might just go insane from so many questions. My baby. Holy shit, this is a heart attack, this is what a heart attack feels like, dear God, you figured you at least had ten years before you get one!

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First round ends with IMPOSTORS raining victorious. Your sixth sense had been working wonders since, true to you previous estimate, it had been Corpse. His companion was Pokimane. For absolutely no reason what’s so ever, you change her name once more from Target 4 to Target 1. Normally, you’re all for girls supporting girls. Men don’t deserve anything, really, but now you’re so flustered and still reeling from what you are 80% sure was cardiac arrest that you genuinely don’t care about your established morals.

Round two starts without much deliberation. You get CREW MATE again; the game must sense your growing bloodlust, making sure that once you do get IMPOSTOR, you will not hold back. True power is granted to those who are ready and strong enough to wield it. You wait for your moment with bated breath.

Charlie is taken from you too early. The two of you were once again caught in a discussion - God knows about what, Minecraft, hentai, oh! your server! - as you tried to card swipe for the umpteenth time. The lights blew out and you just knew one of you was getting murdered there and then. Charlie’s voice abruptly cut off, and you think a part of you died with him.

It’s a cold meeting; with your new best friend being the first to go, everyone decides to skip. You proclaim you seek vengeance. When the meeting comes to an end, Sykkuno is the first to offer his condolences.

“I’m sorry, Y/n.” He says, and while he’s not in Brooklyn, you somehow feel him patting your back. You feign a sniffle.

“There’s nothing to apologize for...” You murmur sadly, “Unless...” Your voice turns sharp as the knife that was surely twisted into Charlie’s back, “It was you?”

“NO!” He exclaims, “I would never-you gotta believe me! I would never kill him. I know he’s important to you. I wouldn’t do that, I swear.”

“He was like a brother to me.” You admit, solemn, “Charlie, if you’re haunting me right now, know I will avenge you. I will not let this go.”

Sykkuno hums, circling around you, “Hey, I have a task in Greenhouse. Would you, uh--Would like to, uhm, join me?” Despite the shaky start, he finishes on a firm, pleasant note. He’s trying to cheer you up. Having lost your closest friend, he’s offering you his company. You accept with a soft smile and a cute “Yes, please!” and he releases an airy little laugh. The two of you make your way to your favorite place in map MIRA.

It’s difficult to stay sad for long when Sykkuno’s so sweet; the atmosphere of the Greenhouse is strangely calming; your problems seem to be left behind the shut doors. If you tried hard enough, you could imagine being in an actual Greenhouse - the warm, damp air clinging to your skin, the unmistakable smell of earth and vegetation, the pleasant silence broken only by yours and his hushed voices and clumsy footsteps.

The two of you are talking. Mainly about your choice of attire. Cat first, Sykkuno ponders aloud, doing his task as you watch the plants grow, now bunny, what’s next? You affirm that you will most likely dress up in cow-print next, or as an adorable sheep. He laughs, admitting you’ll look good in anything before he trails off. His awkwardness is really endearing. 

“Or!” You chirp happily, content with being locked away with him for the whole game. The idea must be playing in his mind, too, because he seems in no rush to leave, “I could, like, dress as someone from My Hero Academia. I watched the stream you did with Stella, the one where she made you look like Todoroki. It was really cute. You were really cute.”

“Oh, uhm-well, uh, thank you, thanks, I, uhm-” He clears his throat, and despite his stutter, you hear the smile in his voice, “I-I think you’d look better, though. Not as Todoroki. Or, probably as Todoroki, too. But, uhm, what character are you thinking about?”

“Maybe Momo?”

“Momo!” He yeps, “Momo is good. Yeah, she’s great. You’ll-uhm-you’ll look amazing. Really. Momo is awesome. Very pretty. Just like you.”

You are blushing. A stupid, toothy grin makes your cheeks hurt. Your eyes flicker to the chat, but again, it’s going wild. Giggling, you thank him for his sweet words, so giddy it’s honestly embarrassing. Why can’t you stop smiling? This is incriminating. You hide your lips behind your palm.

“...What’s this?” Corpse question. You had failed to note his sudden appearance, too busy gushing. “Am I interrupting?”

“Hey, Corpse!” Sykkuno greets. For someone so awkward and shy, he sure is good at hiding it when he wants to. Perhaps it’s all an act and you had been deviously tricked! Probably not, but you can’t help but narrow your eyes suspiciously, finally able to calm down. You definitely underestimated him, you just haven’t figured out how yet, “Not really! Y/n was sad Charlie died so I took her here.”

“You interrupted our date, dipshit.” You deadpan. 

“...Fuck you say?” Corpse dares, his voice low and somewhat menacing - for someone who exclusively portrays his emotions through only his voice, he’s incredibly hard to read. This is payback. Your love for wreaking havoc resurfaces suddenly. Serves him right for pulling all this ignoring shit at the start. Maybe you’ll make him say oh again.

Your sly smirk is promptly wiped. Fuck. He said oh, he literally said oh out loud. The Teruhashi fangirl in you is screaming. You had been so caught up in defending yourself you didn’t even register it at first. Alarmed, you look at the camera, then at the chat. First oh, then my baby. There’s no way he had been teasing you, and this proves it. Holy shit. You mouth the words “HE SAID OH!” for your audience only.

now she notices

snail pace baby we’ve been loosing our shit for the past hour 

corpse x y/n saikik au enemies to lovers 500k words slow burn im here for it

opening wattpad rn^

Your heart races in your chest - it might be considered an Olympic medalist at this point; flustered yet again, you wish you could cave into yourself. You should’ve brought your bright blue wig with you to Brooklyn. Turns out it would have been perfect for this stream. Yes, yes thinking about unnecessary details always works in distracting you from the butterflies throwing a fucking rave in your stomach. 

“I guess it is a date!” Sykkuno admits, “Kinda after a funeral, but still.”

Corpse hums. You’re still too stunned to say anything. The black astronaut with adorable cat ears approaches Sykkuno. 

“It’s not.” He states. Your mouth falls open in shock as your date, your companion, the Shoto to your Momo is murdered in cold blood right in front of you. His lifeless body, cut in half, lays on the tiles by the growing flowers, right beside you, “You didn’t see shit.”

“...I didn’t see shit.” Is all you can utter, breathless and terrified.

“Thaaaat’s fucking right, baby.” Corpse coos, “Now I’m gonna report it, and I’ll say we found Sykkuno together. Better stick close to me after the meeting, got it?”

If Sykkuno is Shoto, then Corpse is definitely Dabi. 

why is that kinda hot tho omg

didn’t know i needed dom corpse since now but i do

y/n looks like shes boutta throw up lmao 

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

You follow him around like a lost puppy - because what else is left for you to do!? You’re helpless in this situation. He’s got you in the palm of his hand, successfully eliminating everyone you had previously interacted with. First it was Charlie, then Sykkuno, even Sean, who said hello in passing, was shot instantly. Real Sangwoo behavior. You almost want to scream warnings at everyone to not approach you. You cannot mourn another lost crew mate, you don’t think your conscience can take it. But words fail to form. You’re too weak. You fake cry to your audience. They’re quick to remind you to stop acting like a little bitch.

“Mean.” Is all you say, eyeing the comments.

“Hm?”

“Was talking to the roaches.”

“What are they saying?”

“That I should betray you.”

“...Better not.”

A shiver shoots up your spine and you half believe he will bust down your door and drag you into his basement for real. A nervous laugh slips past your lips, “I won’t, I won’t.” You reassure him, “Don’t worry, I’m sticking with you. I haven’t seen shit.”

“I like that you listen to me. You always this agreeable?”

“You’re kinda not giving me a choice right now.” You grumble, vending yourself a drink while he looms behind you, protecting you. From who?! Himself?!

“Oh my fucking God, finally,” Bretman exclaims, “girl, I’ve been running around the whole map trynna find someone, is everyone like, dead?”

You’re scared to reply. Corpse does it for you, “Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, maybe? Not sure. Where have you been?”

“Oh you know,” Bretman grins, “doing tasks, talking shit, the usual. You two are not, like, Impostors right?”

You shoot a look at Corpse, but he obviously can’t see it. Biting your lip, you murmur, “Nope.”

“Just your regular crew mates doing regular crew mate things.” Corpse says, no, purrs. Because that’s not suspicious at all. You’d recommend Bretman to run, and not only because that sounded shady as fuck. But he seems to enjoy danger, or he just doesn’t care.

“Hmmmm, crew mates, sure. Miss girl Y/n,” He’s addressing you now; you smile anxiously, “How come every time I see you, you’re with a different man?! Like damn, leave some for the rest of us, for real!”

You like Bretman. You like his high-pitched whine and drawl. You would like him even more if not for the complex situation at hand. You fear for his life. Chewing at your bottom lip, you snicker, “Sorry, Bret. I can leave you Corpse if you want?”

He laughs, “Girl, I’d say yes so fucking quick, but I know he wouldn’t want that. Normally I wouldn’t care, but y’all are such a cute couple it’s making me not want to be a shady motherfucking bitch. Changing my ways, embracing the lord. Love it.”

 Corpse doesn’t correct him that you are, in fact, not dating. His lack of reaction unnerves you slightly. Does he...? No! No think! Only exist! You catch that train of thought and steer it away from forbidden territory. Looks like it’s up to you to clear the air, and that is exactly what you do after trying to swallow down the lump in your throat, “Uh, we’re not together, actually. We’re just really good friends.”

“Bitch, then move over,” Bretman says snappily,”go like, back to your other boyfriends. Or find another one. I think I saw Dream near Navigation.”

“Near Navigation, huh?” Corpse hums thoughtfully. It’s a subtle warning, but you catch it. Yeah, even if you try running, Dream’s going to join your other ‘boyfriends’ in the afterlife. Granted, killing someone by just talking with them is kind of cool. Or maybe Stockholm Syndrome is finally kicking in, “Bret, the thing is, Y/n’s scared of dying, so she asked me to stay with her.”

It’s disturbing how good at lying he is. It is also really really attractive, as bizarre as that is.

y/n stop being in a toxic relationship with corpse challenge

making fanart of this omg her face

its the blushing for me girl get your head outta the gutter!

^she cant, it lives there

“Baby, you’re gonna fucking die if you stick with her,” Bretman points out, “have you noticed the mortality rate of her partners? Rest in peace, daddy.”

“He’s right, you know.” You mutter, dramatically looking to the side, “I’m no good, Corpse.”

“Not leaving you, end of discussion. Bretman, join us?” Corpse offers, catching you by surprise. He might still be lying, though. Creating a false sense of security before eliminating Bretman. Probably would laugh while doing it, too. Wow, he truly is evil.

Turns out he doesn’t have to do any of that, because when Dream strolls into Cafeteria, he kills Bretman instead. The two Impostors are finally revealed. You promised not to snitch on Corpse, but you didn’t say shit about not exposing Dream. You press the REPORT button and say just that: “Dream just murdered Bret right in front of me and Corpse.”

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

The last meeting is called. Dream had been voted out with the help of Corpse, and now only you, he, and Rae remain.

“Baby, you know what to do.”

The VOTED icon pops up beside Corpse’s astronaut. Rae wheezes, “No! Y/n, it’s not me, you gotta believe me, I swear it’s not me!”

“...I really don’t know,” You murmur, “I’ve been with Corpse a lot, and...Rae, I’m not sure...”

“Please! I swear it on my Kagayama cardboard cut out, I’m not the Impostor, please! You know me, I’d never lie to you like this.”

“She’s definitely lying.” Corpse says, sounding pleased.

“Don’t listen to him! Remember, during the first round, when he tried to convince us that you were the Impostor? He’s doing the same shit to me!”

“I also remember you agreeing with him.” You remind her.

“I was stupid! Small dumb brain moment! He was using us to win! He’s using you right now!” She votes, “Please, Y/n, make the right choice.”

You’re silent for a moment.

“I’m gonna...I’m gonna vote for who I think it is.” You lastly say.

A slow, lazy grin makes it’s way onto your lips, eyes gleaming mischievously. You had not forgotten your promise to your brother from another mother, you had not forgotten the pride of the BDA, you had not forgotten your beautiful friendship. Two miniature astronauts pop up by Corpse’s at the exact moment Rae screeches “YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!”

“Fuck.” Is all Corpse says with a laugh.

The screen changes, informing of the first CREW MATE victory.

Your ears are assaulted with different voices as you appear in the lobby.

“Now that’s what I’m fucking talking about.” Charlie raves, “I swear to fucking God, Y/n, you even got me going for a second. Pulled some 1000 IQ shit right there. It was fucking amazing. Best back stabbing I’ve seen in a while, and I’ve seen a lot.”

“That was absolutely fantastic, Y/n.” Sean applauds, “I really thought you joined Corpse like some crew mate accomplice or something. Can’t believe you switched on him at the last second.”

“That’s my wifey!” Rae cheers, strolling to you, “Love you, mwah.”

“Hey, Corpse,” Charlie calls him, “How does it feel to be a fucking loser?”

“I’m surprisingly fine with it.”

yeah he would be lmao

mom is the best snake ever i love you sm y/n

rae and y/n’s friendship....the feeeeeels

As the rest sing your praises for another solid minute or two, the third round begins. CREW MATE again. Though, just because you’re stuck as an underpaid worker in a dying spaceship, it doesn’t mean you’re innocent. Your last round proved that quite well. You can’t help but silently snicker.

✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼　 ҉ 　✼

TAGLIST IS CLOSED!

tags (in italics is those i couldn’t tag! make sure all’s ok w your settings!) : @littlebabysandboxburritos - @fairywriter-oracle - @tsukishimawh0re - @ofstarsanddreams - @bbecc-a - @annshit - @leahh19 - @letsloveimagines - @bellomi-clarke - @wineandionysus - @guiltydols - @onephootinfrontoftheother - @liamakorn - @thirstyfangirl - @lilysdaydreams - @pan-ini - @mxqicshxp - @tanchosanke - @yoshinorecommends - @flightsandfantasy - @liljennyx3 - @bingusmode - @unknown-and-invisible - @sinister-sleep - @fivedicksinatrenchcoat - @mercury--moon - @peterparkerspjsuit - @unstableye - @simonsbluee - @shinyshimaagain - @ppopty - @siriuslystupid - @crapimahuman - @ofthedewthesunlight - @mythicalamphitrite - @artsyally - @corpsesimpp - @corpsewhitetee - @corpse-husbandsimp - @hyp-oh-critical - @roses-and-grasses - @rhyrhy462 - @sparklylandflaplawyer - @charbkgo - @airwaveee - @creativedogs - @kaitlyn2907 - @loxbbg - @afuckingunicornn - @fleurmoon - @yeolliedokai

more tags are in the comments bcs tumblr only allows me to tag 50 people max 💙

[yesimwriting]

Crossing lines

General Kirigan/the darkling x reader

Summary: This was requested by my friend @vvsdiamond28 who also writes and has a really good kirigan x reader story up right now! The request was basically for a fic in which the reader is out wandering at night and runs into kirigan while he’s in the banya and then they get to talking and some other stuff before he admits to only trusting the reader and giving her his real name. This gets kinda steamy bc of the request and bc the story called for it lol but it’s not full smut bc i decided that it would be better to do that as a part 2 so that i could add some jealousy tension haha

a/n i think im back?? Ive been working on requests a lot and ive really enjoyed writing regularly again. A small side note, after rewatching revenge of the sith im kinda in the mood to try writing an anakin fic 😭 pls he was my OG fictional crush,, so either send help or a request for him or something, Anyways,, back to this fic--ahh i had fun writing it but i still feel awkward writing steamier stuff so be nice!! 

-- 

Those that wander in the night, lost in uneasy thought--there’s probably a lot that can be said about them. But I can’t think of anything to be said about me. Nothing good comes from walking around a place full of powerful and tense people in the middle of the night. It wouldn’t take much effort to interpret my actions as suspicious, and yet I continue forward. I’m an idiot--just because I can’t sleep doesn’t mean I have to wander around campgrounds. My presence is barely tolerated here, I shouldn’t try backstroking in waters I can barely tread. 

But still, I walk, eyes more fixated on the open night sky than anything else. The moon is as full as an overflowing glass, the stars twinkling as if desperate to compete with a light it will never be able to duplicate. I sigh, pressing my lips together. Maybe the stars and I have more in common than I thought. Normally, that would be a good thing. 

Letting out a weary breath, I continue forward, away from the relative safety of the main tents. I’m still on the grounds, I’m approaching the border where the tents of higher ranking officials are. That should make me more nervous, but if anything it almost eases me slightly. 

General Kirigan is not the type to be friendly, and yet our interactions have always been laced with a touch of intimacy I can’t quite explain. We’ve been alone together more and more frequently, and I think that’s how I like him best. It’s strange, but when we’re alone some of his sharpness dulls, leaving space for something I might consider humor or actual personality on anyone else. He probably speaks to many girls like that when they’re alone together--a fact I have to fight to remind myself of--but it’s the closest thing to friendship I have here. Maybe it’s foolish to hold onto that, but I can’t bring myself to release my grip on those sentiments. At least not yet, when the kind moments are still rare and fleeting and no line has been crossed. 

The danger, however, comes from the prospect of not recognizing lines before they’re crossed. Even now, as I walk aimlessly in the night, pacing in hopes of exhausting my thoughts, I’m crossing lines in a much more literal way and even these are ill defined. I must be in new territory now, and even that I can only vaguely recognize because of the strangely humid scent that surrounds this area of the grounds. 

I’m near the banya. I didn’t intend to wander here, but the thought of splashing water on my face is too tempting to pass up on. I move closer, finding a sense of peace in having some direction, even in a small way. 

When the promise of water is only steps away, I begin to regret everything. There’s a figure in the bath. I freeze, ready to attempt to shrink away in hopes of disappearing before I’m caught. This could easily turn extremely awkward even though I technically haven’t done anything. Most people don’t bathe at this hour. Who bathes this late at night? 

I keep my eyes on the individual, trying to make out who they are and how aware they are of their surroundings in the dim light. Pale skin, dark hair--unbelievably attractive torso. My eyes linger there longer than they should. I force my gaze upwards, towards their face as if that can erase my ogling. Embarrassment leaves my face burning--I’m not the ‘ogling’ type, and this person doesn’t even know I’m here. I keep my eyes on them as I step back, taking in unaware features as best I can in the dark. 

I know them--I--Saints, it’s Kirigan. 

Fantastic. Of course he has to be even more impossibly attractive while shirtless and wet. I turn my head upwards sharply, more desperate to not be caught than ever. I would never, ever recover from being caught. Whether he’d tease me or be angry with me, I don’t know. I also don’t know which option I’d prefer. 

I step back again, my gait wider due to my urgency. Snap. The sound of both a twig and my chance of a stealthy escape being shattered. I cringe, craning my neck to the left in a desperate attempt to make it clear that I wasn’t watching him. I take another desperate step, ready to duck behind a nearby tree. Maybe he hasn’t seen me--maybe he’s distracted and assumed that some kind of rabbit or something passed by. He may not actively dislike me, but I’m not sure any semblance of favor he may have for me extends to this situation.

“Y/n.” His tone reveals nothing but his level of certainty. Ignoring him will only make me seem guilty. 

I pause, keeping my gaze off of him. “Yes.” It wasn’t really a question, and yet I still answer it like one. “I was--I couldn’t sleep so I thought I’d get some air, and I was walking kind of aimlessly and I ended up here and I didn’t think anyone would be here.” Why do I feel like I’m making this situation worse? “I’m sorry--I’m gonna--I’m going to go now.” This is the kind of embarrassing moment that will come back to me when I’m trying to fall asleep at night. I know it.

“You know the polite thing to do after intruding is to make eye contact.” 

I don’t think my face has ever felt this warm before. At least he doesn’t sound angry, but his voice doesn’t reveal that much. I raise my gaze carefully, turning my head slowly. “I didn’t mean,” I exhale slowly, “It wasn’t my intention to intrude.” 

He straightens slightly at my words, exposing more of his chest. I stay still, eyes trained on his to avoid an accidental lapse. “You could make it up to me by offering conversation.” Kirigan’s tone is deliberate, his words measured and calm. I don’t speak, feeling like I’m being presented a test I don’t understand, but most of our conversations leave me feeling like that. “Only if you’re comfortable.” 

And just like that, I’m backed into a corner. A challenge. To deny him now would be to expose the effect he has on me. My chin raises a fraction of an inch as I take in that assured half-smirk. “Why wouldn’t I be comfortable?” 

Kirigan arches a dark brow, assessing my response. “Then sit,” his voice has not changed, “You want air and I want company.” 

I don’t think anyone that looks as good as he does shirtless has ever had trouble finding company, especially with the smooth way he speaks. Despite this, I step forward to accept his challenge without calling him out on his coyness. Each step is the crossing of another invisible line until I’m near the water’s edge. I make sure to keep my nightgown at a respectable length as I sit down. 

I make a point of extending my legs towards the water while leaning back so that I can’t be easily accused of being a coward. “I feel the need to warn you that I might not make particularly interesting company.”

He angles his head to the side slightly, drawing attention to his jawline and neck. I force my stare to focus on the water. “I’ve never found you uninteresting.” 

There’s something resigned in the way he says this. On instinct, I look up, taking in the slight softening of his features. The release of his usual sternness only adds to his beauty, a fact that I’m already resenting. 

“You may be the only one.” It’s not meant to be a deprecating comment, but I’m not sure my partial laugh softens my bitterness. I hope it does--I’d rather his interest than the interest of my entire unit. 

Kirigan shifts forward, the water moving with him. “Do you think that any coldness you’re experiencing has to do with you?” 

The question has me drawing my eyebrows together. What else could it be? I shrug, “I’ve considered it.” 

He nods once, eyes hardening slightly. “Do you always have trouble sleeping?” 

The personalness of the question shouldn’t surprise me as much as it does. Kirigan seems to only understand boundaries when he’s the one setting them. “Not really.” A partial lie--this time I’m glad I can’t quite bring myself to look at him. “It’s not uncommon for me, but it’s not something I deal with every night.” 

I risk shifting my eyeline when I hear the sound of water moving. Kirigan’s now resting an arm on the rim of the pool, wet skin dangerously close to my ankle and lower calf. “It’s not always easy,” his voice is low now, “Being alone with your thoughts.” 

That’s not the kind of reply I’d expect from him. I blink twice before turning to study his expression. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him seem so tired--so weary and human and in need of something. The line between his eyebrows and the far off quality of his eyes leave me with the strong desire to give whatever it is he needs to him. The urge to reach out, to touch him in hopes of breaking him free from his odd trance leaves my stomach knotted. That line is too clear to cross so recklessly.

I need to chase away the serious atmosphere he’s created. “Is that why you bathe so late at night?” I let myself smile, “To avoid thoughts?” 

“I like the peace of it.” Something akin to amusement touches his words. “And for the record, little dove,” the nickname is pointed and earns him an eyeroll, “The warm water doesn’t exactly chase away thoughts so much as encourages others.” He pauses. “You understand, considering you can barely look at me.”

This is the most embarrassing thing to have ever happened. The suggestive jilt to his words has to be intentional. Damn him. I turn my head, forcing myself to meet his gaze. “I can look at you just fine.” 

“And if I were a Heartrender and could hear your heartbeat your pulse would be normal?” The question is teasing, a small smile pulling at his lips. 

The warmth in my face increases, spreading down my neck. Kirigan’s expression remains smug. “You’re not as funny as you think you are.” 

“No?” He leans forward, angling his head so close to me I can faintly feel the warmth of his breath on my lower calf. “I find myself amusing.” 

At least being around him like this is getting easier. I open my mouth, ready to provide some sarcastic comment I haven’t thought out yet. My mouth clamps shut on instinct when I feel his touch on my ankle. The faint contact quickly grows, his fingers brushing up my ankle and calf, leaving drops of cool water across my skin.

“What are you doing?” That’s a--a fair question, right? I’m not sure, rational thought slipping from me more and more with each passing second. 

“Nothing, really,” his reply is quick. “Nervous?” 

There is no way he doesn’t know what he’s doing. I roll my eyes, fighting against my instinctual fluster. “No,” a full lie, “You’re just getting me wet.” 

“Barely.” When he’s not busy being brooding he’s not much better than an irritating child. He retracts his hand slowly, fingers grazing my skin slowly as he submerges his hand beneath the water. The loss of contact should feel like a victory. It doesn’t. “Y/n,” he shifts closer, back straightening.

There’s an odd seriousness to his demeanor that almost leaves me reeling. “Yes?” 

He beckons me forward. I hesitate, but comply, letting myself shift closer to the water’s edge. Kirgan’s lips part, but no words leave him before he moves his arm, purposefully splashing water over my thighs and bottom of my nightgown. I let out an instinctively annoyed sound. “That is getting you wet.” 

“Kirigan!” My tone is as menacing as I can make it, but he continues to grin. There’s such a lightness to the look I almost forget to be annoyed. Almost. “I should tell the entire Second Army how much of a child you are.” 

My threat does nothing, his smile softening without fading. “They fear me too much for your stories to make a difference.” He says this flatly. “All of them except you.” 

I don’t know if I’m supposed to make something of that comment. A brief moment passes in which I think his eyes come close to softening. Maybe that’s a side effect of seeing the world as you want. Wait...what do I want? Him? No, no, I can’t. 

Okay, he’s objectively attractive and sometimes I think I may see more depth in him than he wants to be capable of. But that doesn���t mean I’m allowed to want anything with him. Even if he was trustworthy enough for me to be with him in any capacity...even casually, it could never happen. Nothing good could come from having relations with the highest ranked general and I doubt he’d ever want me like that. He likes to fluster people and I’m an easy target. I just accept it because being some level of entertainment to him is better than being nothing to everyone. 

“I don’t think there’s much point in fear.” It feels like a fair answer. The fairest answer I can manage, anyways. 

He sighs, the sound heavy. His hand stretches forward cautiously. I watch him and make no attempt to stop him from touching my lower calf. His fingers trace absentmindedly across the skin. “Of course you’d think that.” 

Again, I don’t know what to make of his words. Or his actions. He couldn’t find anything wrong with me just slightly adjusting my position. It’d be a polite way to remind us both of the natural order of things. But then again, someone like him is allowed to be mad about anything. And I’m not sure I want to remind us of our place. 

Actually, I’m completely sure that I want the opposite of that. But admitting that to myself is enough of a risk. I’ve already crossed thousands of tiny lines and what I want will require us to cross a thousand more. 

“I’m a little surprised you’re not reminding me how foolish a notion like that can be.” 

He lets out a tiny breath as he shifts even closer to me. “Maybe I’m enjoying your foolishness.” 

“I’m not sure if I should take that as a compliment or the opposite.” 

The slightest hint of a smile is visible to me beneath the moon’s glow. There’s something about darkness that adds beauty to things. I wait for him to reply, but instead of speaking his  hand moves further up my leg. I struggle to hide my reaction to his long fingers trailing up my skin.

He’s touched me before, sure. Tiny moments in which he’d push a strand of hair out of my face or wipe at a bit of dirt on my cheekbone. More recently, he had gripped my hip firmly to guide me through a crowd of soldiers. He had been in a hurry, stealing me from a conversation with the only member of my unit that’s been somewhat friendly to me. It wasn’t serious--he had just been rushing me because he only had a minute between meetings and apparently he had too long of a day to not take a moment to speak with me. 

“Are you alright, Dovey?” Normally, the nickname and all of its variations earns him an eyeroll. But everything is a lot less humorous with his hand half up my lower leg, leaving a trail of cool water wherever he touches. 

His fingers press more firmly into my skin. “Yes, I’m fine--it’s just late.” 

“Hm…” Kirigan breathes before tilting his head slightly. “You’re warm.” I stay silent as his hand shifts slightly. “Perhaps too warm.” 

If I’m hot that has absolutely nothing to do with fever. “I’m fine, General, I promise.” 

“Come closer,” he says, “It’ll take me no time to check.” 

...A little too convenient. My nightgown is still embarrassingly damp from the last time I eased tonight. “Please tell me you don’t find me that naive.” 

“Naive? No.” He lifts his hand slightly. “Warm? Yes.” I still don’t trust him. “I’m not going to do anything. I promise.” 

His eyes are dark and the limited lighting of the moon doesn’t offer me much in my analysis, but what I can see makes him seem genuine. “Why do I feel like that’s not the first time you’ve had to say that?” Despite my comment, I move towards him. 

The back of Kirigan’s palm is pressed to my forehead for less than a second. He brushes his hand down the side of my temple, rotating his wrist so that his fingertips can touch my cheek. His hand then continues to move down my jawline and then my neck...and then finally trails down my collarbone. I bite my tongue to avoid exhaling audibly at the contact. 

“Warm,” he concludes with a tsk, and yet he doesn’t withdraw his hand. “Though that could just have to do with the climate.” His thumb slips beneath the sleeve of my nightgown. “Perhaps you could benefit from joining me.” 

I bite my tongue to avoid letting out a surprised, embarrassingly enthusiastic squeak. I don’t know what’s gotten into him...maybe it’s the night air and the prospect of being fully alone. I should be strong enough to break whatever spell he’s starting to place on me. But I’m not. I’m really, really not. 

He pulls on the sleeve of my nightgown slightly. “I’m…” 

“Unless you’re nervous?” Another damn challenge. To shy away from this would be to expose myself. He tugs on the sleeve a little more assuredly, exposing my shoulder to the humid night. “Do I make you nervous?” 

His voice comes out a shallow rasp. I feel it straight in my core. “...Not more than you should.” 

“More than I should?” 

Ugh--too honest. I let myself get distracted. It shouldn’t be too difficult to explain what I meant. He knows he’s feared. He wants to be feared. “I’m sure we’re both aware that there are a fair amount of cautionary tales revolving around you.” 

His hand falls next to my lap. Oh? I didn’t expect to miss the contact between us so much. His expression seems to have fallen slightly as well. Was it my response to his question? It felt fair and straightforward without being too blunt. “And you believe every cautionary tale you hear?” 

There’s something stiff about the way he asks the question. His moodiness is making me miss his touchiness even more. At least then I didn’t have to feel like I made a mistake. Did I say something wrong? “Should I?”

“It depends on whether or not you plan on being brave.” 

“I told you...I don’t see much point in fear.” 

“And yet you’re still there.” A bit of humor returns to his voice. “Why is that?” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift forward, letting my legs dip into the water. This is as far as I should let this go. I’ve already lost too much more control. “Better?” He’s strangely tense again, a hint of something bitter playing at the smug look he tries for. “You alright?”

“Of course you’d ask me that.” He says this with a tired sigh. “You can never make things easy.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

He shifts backwards slightly. I can feel the distance between us like I’d feel a pebble in my shoe. “Do you believe all the stories about me?” 

Is he still bothered by that? “I didn’t mean it as literally as you’re taking it. All I meant is that people are intimidated by you, but that’s not a bad thing. It’s the way things have to be, you’re the only Shadow Summoner in existence and the army needs you to be intimidating so that they can act on your guidance.”

“The way things have to be,” he echoes, his voice strangely weighted. “There’s a specific kind of loneliness that comes with being feared by everyone.” 

Oh--I don’t know what I expected, but it wasn’t that. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him feel defeated like that. I reach for his hand without thinking, pulling his fingers towards my lap. “I don’t--I’m not scared of you.” It’s a weak attempt to comfort him, but it’s the only one I can think of. “That probably doesn’t mean anything, but I--” 

His hand turns in my lap, squeezing the exposed part of my thigh. “It means something.” Kirigan’s voice has hardened in a different way. “You’re the only person I’m certain of.” 

Everything in me seems to tighten at that. At the implication of something so personal from someone so closed off. “Kirigan, you don’t have to be as alone as you feel. You talk to me all the time and you do so in a way that makes it easy to forget the cautionary tales.” His hand moves further up my thigh. I fight as I try to remember our usual dynamic. “You’re the only one that talks to me like that.” 

“Have you ever considered that maybe the others refuse to take to you because of the favor I’ve shown you? The instinct to stay away from me is strong enough to extend to those around me.” Kirigan’s hand moves higher up my thigh. “To be near me is to involve solitude.” 

“I don’t care.” The answer leaves me too quickly. “Being near you is worth it.” 

He leans closer before resting his chin on my knee with no hesitation. “Careful, you don’t understand the line you tread.” Kirigan places his hand more firmly between my thighs. “Or perhaps you do...perhaps you know what you want to cross.” 

This time I can’t help the airy sigh that leaves me. Kirigan pushes against my thigh slightly, separating my legs. I feel his breath on my inner thigh before I know what’s going on. I can’t move, I can’t think, I can’t even breathe. That inability to do anything but feel my heart pound against my chest only worsens as I feel his lips press into the inside of my thigh. His lips trail up my skin before his teeth gently sink into the top of my thigh. 

“Is the line you want to cross?” He breathes the question so softly I feel like I’m being coddled. Everything in me feels too hot to think of any kind of coherent response. Kirigan uses his free hand to pull the fabric of my nightgown as high up my thighs as he can from his position below me. “Or maybe this is the line you want to cross?” Kirigan pulls me forward so suddenly I let out a tiny gasp. I’m not fully on the edge of the banya. “Or perhaps this one?” He kisses the skin of my inner thigh gently. Each time I exhale too loudly, his teeth graze my skin. He gets harsher with each passing second. “Lay down.” 

My body listens to him on instinct. How is this happening? How am I this powerless to fight against something that’s so clearly wrong? The sound of water shifting causes my entire body to tense. He’s pulled himself out of the water. Kirigan moves above me instantly, water dripping from his toned chest and dark hair and onto my still damp nightgown. 

Before I can speak, he’s on me completely, his lips pressing against my jaw. He kisses down my neck, his teeth grazing against my skin sporadically. He pulls away from me by tracing his tongue across my collar bone. I let out something dangerously close to a moan. “Such pretty, little sounds.” 

“Kirigan--” 

“The only name I want you to hear from your lips is the only name that I’ve not given myself. The only name that holds meaning to me.” 

His lips graze where my skin meets the hem of my now soaked through nightgown. I’m not sure the poor lighting is offering me enough coverage now. There’s no way the thin fabric leaves much to the imagination while being this wet. He kisses up my chest and neck until his lips reach the shell of my ear. 

“Aleksander.” The name is grace in the form of a breath so soft it’s more like I’m feeling the name than actually hearing it. 

He presses his lips against the spot on my neck directly beneath my ear. I exhale into the contact. “Aleksander.” As I test his true name on my tongue, his teeth dig into my skin much more harshly than before. 

I let out a partial squeak at the sudden shift in pace as his hands grip my waist. “Say it again. Say my name again.”

He traces his tongue gingerly over the skin he just aggravated with his teeth before I can speak. The soothing sensation is so much I can barely find my voice. “Aleksander.” 

His hand bunches the bottom of my nightgown, raising the fabric to my hips. “...Say it just like that.” Kirgan’s rough hand slips between the bone of my hip and the fabric of my hip. “Like I’m the only one that knows you like this.”

“Aleksander.” I breathe as he traces invisible patterns into my skin with his lips. “Aleksander.” Each use of his name earns me extra attention--a stronger hold on my hip, a more adamant nip at the base of my neck. I feel my need for him so heavily I swear it’s leaked into my bones. “Aleksander.”

When he pulls away, I fight the urge to whine. The night is still humid, but with the absence of his touch I feel like I’m shivering. He regards me silently for a long moment before shifting his weight again. I feel my heart stall in my chest as his hand softly brushes a strand of hair out of my face. He lets his hand linger there, at the apple of my cheek. The entire world seems to stall as he leans down, his hand cupping the side of my face as his mouth inches closer to mine. 

“I can feel the fluttering of your heart.” 

Any poor defense dies in my throat as his lips meet mine. He gives me no time to think about what’s happening as he presses into me even harder. Kirigan holds my face as his teeth graze against my bottom lip. My mouth opens slightly in surprise, giving him the opportunity he needs to slip his tongue into my mouth. His tongue slowly brushes against mine, coaxing me into total, delirious, compliance. When he starts to pull away, I react, my hands flying forward to grab his hair. He lets me get away with tugging him towards me, prolonging the kiss as he bites my bottom lip. 

One of his hands leaves my face and travels up the hands holding onto his hair. He pulls me off of him easily, pinning both of my wrists above my head with one hand. “Easy,” Kirigan warns, “You’ve been such a good girl, let’s not ruin it before we’ve started.” 

A tiny sigh leaves me. I can feel the pride he takes in that as his hand trails further down my body. His fingers ghost along the hem of my underwear teasingly. 

“Is someone there?” I’ve never damned the voice of a stranger more. 

Panic and dread roll in my stomach. I’m going to get caught like this, with my nightgown bunched at my hips beneath the General Kirigan. An unclothed, wet, General Kirigan. “I’m bathing.” 

Okay...good...Aleksander spoke. Anyone with common sense would run at the thought of invading on Kirgan’s privacy. It’s a good thing that the soldier had the sense to linger behind a thicket of bushes. “Pardon General, but there’s been a crucial development. A new strategy should be thought of as soon as possible.” 

No. No. The thought of losing contact so entirely, of having a moment that should have never happened be ripped from me before it’s even really happened is overwhelming. I feel my lips pull into a pout. Kirigan’s hand adjusts on me, his thumb pressing teasingly over where I’m neediest. I bite my tongue to avoid making an inappropriate noise. 

“Five minutes--I’ll be in the strategy tent in five minutes.” 

“I’ll tell the others, General.”

Great. I hear the stranger disappear, his feet crushing twigs and grass as he leaves us. Aleksander’s attention returns to me quickly. Disappointment swells in my chest as I take in the solemn look that crosses his features. His hand moves to my chin quickly before pulling me into another deep kiss. It’s too short lived. 

“I have to go.” 

Frowning, I lift my hand to trace my fingers up his arm. It’s softer than I should allow myself to be, but it doesn’t really matter anymore. Not when this is probably never going to happen again. “Do you?” I mumble to myself, half joking.

He sighs once, his thumb brushing against my cheek. “No pouting.” 

Now that whatever little bubble we were in has popped, I’m capable of normal feelings. Including shame. “I am n--” 

“Easy, little dove, I’ll remember all of this when I find you again.” 

This...this is going to happen again? “You’re going to find me?” 

“I haven’t yet heard your voice crack on my name as I undo you.” He punctuates the promise with a kiss to my jaw. “Again.” Another kiss. “And again.” Another brush of his lips as he finally pulls away. “And again.” 

My breath catches itself in my throat as he moves off of me entirely. Damn whatever change in the war that’s pulled him away from me so suddenly. I sit up as he stands. I’m not sure where to look now that he’s not in close enough proximity to cloud my thoughts. I should leave as he dresses, but I can’t quite bring myself to. It doesn’t feel safe, not when the man that interrupted us could reappear at any moment. Not when I want to hold onto his presence like this as long as possible. 

 He squeezes my shoulder warmly as he passes before bending down to press one more kiss next to where his hand is. 

“Soon,” he promises again. 

--

General taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper, @grishaverse7 @benbarnes-supremacy  @tranquilitymoon @kaitlyn2907 @lunamyangel @christinawxxx @deceivedeer @real-mbappe @tonks33

[lostysworld]

A healing touch – Kaz Brekker x reader

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 (final)

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x reader

Warning: OOC (so much for Kaz),fluff!!!!!!

Summary: Kaz is ready to give a second chance. It leads to finding his true place around you.

A/N: I've done this, guys!! I've done fluff!!! Hope you'll like it :D

Masterlist

For the whole next week you are helping your parents, who are trying to plan you soon-to-be birthday. No need to mention, you don't want to celebrate, when your head is busy with what happened between you and Kaz.

You love him, really love. And you aren't even angry at him, because everyone makes mistakes. But sitting like this, doing nothing and waiting for Saints know what is slowly killing you.

You met with Inej and Nina for several times to discuss it, but they couldn't advise nothing, but to wait.

Your mother, in her turn, decides to invite all your friends. Means, all the Crows will be at one place at the same time, and it's definitely going to be fun. Maybe you just need a little bit of distraction.

Your birthday is your father's day off, so your house is soaked with pastry smell from base to the roof from the very morning.

Since your dad is preparing everything at home, it is your turn to help your mother at her work. It is where Kaz's messenger finds you.

A small note shakes in your hands slightly, as you can't stop it.

"If you didn't change your mind, come"

You chuckle. In the end of the note you see a small ink scratch of a crow foot. Kaz always signs notes for you that way.

– Are you planning on standing like that and keeping him waiting?

Your mother's voice rings from your back.

– How do you-

– You have this face again, - she smiles shortly at you and nods towards the door. – Go, girl. I can manage this place by myself.

The wooden door squeaks and you come inside the office. Kaz is sitting behind his table as usual, but he instantly stands up, when you appear at his doorway.

– Hey, - your awkward smile lightens up his worried face a bit. – Something important for me?

You don't know why he called you here, but don't want to have a false hope.

– Yes...it is important, - the man comes up to a drawer and takes out a silver bracelet, the one that matches your pendant. – Happy birthday, Y/N.

He extends his arm to you for taking it, but you only come up to him and cover his gloved hand with yours.

– I will never change my mind, Kaz. Not for you.

Brekker sighs heavily and raises his glance on you, making you shiver. You have never had a thought of how it could be hard not to see him for a week.

– You will be in danger every single minute of your life, - his firm tone makes you nod. – And we will both live under constant pressure.

– Fine.

– Not to mention, that I can never give you a full life, and-, - you make him stop with your hand on his, giving the man a slight squeeze.

– What do you think full life is, Brekker?

He shakes his head, aware of the fact, that you will never agree with him on this point. A faint smile of yours reassures him a bit, and when you start speaking, he relaxes.

– Having you by my side, Kaz, is pretty enough for me. Frankly, - you slowly take off his gloves, one by one, laying them on the table. – It is the only thing I can dream of.

You are so close now, and want to kiss him so badly. Brekker's gaze drops to your lips and you understand his intention quite clearly.

With a shaking breath he moves to you, and you can only imagine how hard it is for the man. Yes, he advanced greatly with this, you can now even allow yourself an accidental brush across his hand, but a kiss is another thing.

– You don't have, if you don't want to, Kaz. I can wait.

He shakes his head reluctantly, and lays his bare hand on your shoulder.

– The problem is that I don't want you to wait, Y/N.

With that he slowly shortens the gap and brushes his lips across yours. It is merely a kiss, but it feels like heavens for you, as it is literally your biggest dream, that, you think, was impossible.

The grip on you shoulder tightens, and you can barely hold back a smile. It is a big move for Kaz and you as well, so you can't be nothing but proud of him. Even if he is a bit nervous.

Then he breaks the kiss after a dozen of seconds and touches your forehead with his, staying like this for some time.

– It is not stolen.

– What? - you leans back to meet his gaze. The man nods towards the bracelet on the table he gave you.

– The bracelet is not stolen. I bought him in-

You shut him up with another careful kiss, this time more passionate, not afraid for his reaction. You can swear, Brekker grins tensely in the kiss, as you can feel it with your skin.

Kaz Brekker, Bastard of the Barrel, bought a birthday present for you, matching with his previous gift. What else could you dream about, really?

– I turned out, - Kaz tries to calm his breath. – Liking you a lot more that I originally planned.

– Is it anything, that you don't plan?

– You, kissing me for the second time. It wasn't planned.

You chuckle and instantly find his other hand to hold, but he halts. Seems, it's too much for him in one moment. Brekker gives you an apologetic smirk.

– You are doing great, - you smile to him, trying to reassure.

– I still need time to work it through.

– You are not alone, Kaz, - he keeps staring at you in a kind of awe. – We will work it through. I will help you.

Brekker grins at you and reaches for the bracelet on the table to lock on your wrist.

– Will you come to the dinner?

You suddenly remember about today's birthday party. Now, when everything is settled down between you two, you can think about planning again.

– I'm not sure-

– Everyone will be there, Kaz. And you know my mother will be happy to see you.

Brekker hesitates. Though you don't want to force him and rush the moment. But it would be lovely to see him along with your friends and family.

– You know, I don't suit family dinners, Y/N.

His half broken voice makes your heart ache for him. Why he can't understand this? He is worth everything. You know his fear of not being able to give you full live pretty well. Because partly it is your fear too. That your efforts will be not enough for both of you.

Not to worry Kaz even more, you lay your hand on his elbow.

– I will be waiting for you today's evening, love. But it all is up to you.

You turn to leave, not noticing him freeze from the nickname you give him. He surely doesn't let it just pass by. And when the door closes, he still stands in the middle of his office, trying to collect himself after your visit.

The noise in your house is pleasant with everyone chatting and telling stories. You look them over and smile. Every Crow finds its place here.

Nina is busy with your mother at the kitchen, dragging Matthias with her. Jasper is telling your father about shooting and Inej only smiles shyly, when your mum tells her to make herself comfortable.

Everyone is on the place. Everyone except Kaz. He still doesn't show up, and your hope is slowly getting lost in a cword laughing.

You know it is not his intention to upset you, Brekker just doesn't like big companies and can't find a proper place for himself.

And when the sudden knock on the door rings, you instantly rush to open it. The wide smile appears on your lips as you see Kaz, who's grinning shyly at you.

– You came! - you want to hug him, but refuse just in time.

– Happy birthday again.

You smirk and nod towards the room.

– Won't you come in? - that hope in your glance is so visible, that you don't even need to beg the man. – The party isn't complete without you, Kaz.

He chuckles, coming closer to you, but shakes his head reluctantly.

– It's too crowded for me.

– It's not a crowd, Brekker. They are your friends too, - seeing that you almost win, you continue to force him. – Come on, Kaz, join us. My mother adores you.

– Yes, that's exactly what I'm afraid of, - he surely notices another woman's steps towards the door, and steps back to hide in the shadows, but your mum is not that naive.

– No, no, Mr. Brekker. You will not fool me like this, - you put your lips in a thin line to hold back a laughter. This woman knows how to get under someone's skin. – We saved a seat for you. So, hurry up.

With that she comes back to the kitchen.

– You heard her, Kaz. You have no choice now.

The man walks out of the darkness with that one-sided grin, the one you love the most. He comes in to let you close the door.

Everything goes well, you mother is hovering around Kaz like a mother hen, that makes you smile even more than before. It isn't really a birthday party, but a family dinner just with more members.

– So, you, Mr. Brekker, are up to illegal things here in Ketterdam, am I right?

The sudden question from your father makes everyone shut up, even Jasper. Little do they know, he isn't a strict man. He asks it just out of interest, and they shouldn't be nervous like this.

Kaz tenses and you don't get to somehow show him, that it's alright, when your mother comes back from the kitchen with her famous apple pie.

– Do not scare our guests, Y/F/N. Let them enjoy the dinner.

You suppress a smile to your mum, who stands next to Brekker, knowing this question is for him. Seems, she likes him most of all and even ready to protect from your father's curiosity.

Your father starts cutting the pie.

– I don't care what he is doing, until he's a gentleman. Manners make the man.

Kaz casts a glance to you across the table, and you just nod to show, everything is okay. He's a perfect gentleman, it's for you to know for sure.

When the dinner is over and the Crows go to the Slat, Kaz stays for a little, letting them to leave you two alone.

It's long past midnight, when you walk him to the entrance door.

– Thank you, Kaz, - he comes out and turns to you. – Your presence means a lot to me. And your gift too. Thank you.

He nods, but isn't going to leave. You close the door behind you and take his gloved hand to lead him to the nearest bench. The day was amazing, and you are not ready to let him go yet.

The skies are glowing with millions of stars tonight, and your glance is stick to it. You don't notice how Kaz is looking at you.

– Thank you for the invitation then. I have never had a family like yours to be around.

Your eyes meet his and these sad sparkles in his voice makes you thinking of something.

– Well, you have now. A very big one, actually.

Kaz glances at you, making goosebumps run down your forearms. How can a single glance give you such reaction?

You know, that he's hard to persuade, but you really want him to know, that he has a safe place to go to.

Brekker doesn't respond and when he switches his gaze above his head to look at the starts, you notice his eyes are a bit watered.

You think about how much he suffered, and how you can help him to make peace with his past from now. You, your friends and your family will be always here for the man.

The sudden thought of his last improvement comes to your mind.

– Kaz, - you call his name, but he doesn't move. – Your brother would be so proud of you.

He immediately turns to your, eyes are searching for something on your face. But you are serious as never before. Brekker's trauma is a constant reminder of Jordie, but he can't remember his family like that. There should be something good in it.

His glance slips to your lips, and for a couple of moments he can't take his eyes off. He takes one shaking breath, overwhelmed by unspoken words and emotions.

– May I.

You know that this day is the hardest for the man, and you're pretty aware of his boundaries, but just can't let yourself stop him.

You nod and he takes one of his gloves off, slowly caressing your cheek. When he is about to lean forward, you stop him in an inch from his lips with a whisper.

– You are the strongest person I know, Kaz Brekker.

Your heart sinks down, when his lips finally touch yours in a slow tender kiss.

You want to embrace the man, but try to keep your hands out with all your strength. With every second passing, you feel Kaz relaxes, and it brings smile to your lips.

He brakes the kiss and furrows.

– What? - Brekker's face almost makes you grin more. You shake your head.

– Nothing. Just love you.

Actually you can do it all night long, telling him the truth and watching him falling in a sort of shock. And his reaction only encourage you to go on every time.

The man shakes his head in disbelief and gives up a smile, the kind you didn't see before.

– It's...I'm a fool, when it comes to revealing feelings, Y/N, - you shake his world completely, but Kaz starts getting used to it. – But I want to tell so much.

– I will not force you into anything against your will.

He shakes his head and moves closer. You are so warm and radiant, he just can't stay cold and collected with you around, doesn't want to anymore. Of course, for everyone else he is still the same Kaz Brekker, but not for you.

– I just want you to be patient at this point, Y/N.

– I've been knowing you, Kaz, for two years, - your light chuckle touches his heart. – Patience and I are long friends.

– So? - he raises his brow to you.

– So, I can live with that, Kaz Brekker. For as long as you will have me.

This smile of his can melt you to the ground and you smile to him back, turning your gaze to the skies again.

After a second you feel his gloved hand covers your fingers, and grin.

This day is your pure bliss, and you two will endure everything else together.

So, this is the end of it! Thank all of you for likes and comments, I hope you really enjoy it ❤

Actually, I have an idea of writing The darkling x reader imagine. Maybe, you'll be interested :D

[c-nilsen]

TASK #005

BASIC INFORMATION

FULL NAME: Cyrus Mark Nilsen PRONUNCIATION: Sigh-rus Mark Nil-sen MEANING: Cyrus--Sun, Mark--consecrated to the god Mars, Nilsen--son of Nils REASONING: on their babymoon, a trip around Big Sur, Cyrus’ mother had fallen in love with the Monterey Cypress trees that covered the coast, and knowing she’d seem a bit too crunchy granola for her traditional family if she named her first born ‘Cypress’, she thought Cyrus was a good substitute NICKNAME(S): Cy, Nilsen PREFERRED NAME(S): Cy or Cyrus BIRTH DATE: May 5th, 1984 AGE: 38

ZODIAC: Taurus GENDER: Cis Male PRONOUNS: He/Him/His ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: Heteroromantic (probably) SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Heterosexual (probably, he has never experimented, but wouldn’t rule anything out) NATIONALITY: American ETHNICITY: White CURRENT LOCATION: Humboldt Hills, Eureka, California LIVING CONDITIONS: Middle Class TITLE(S): Dad, Park Ranger, Volunteer Firefighter

BACKGROUND

BIRTH PLACE: Humboldt Hills, Eureka, California HOMETOWN: Eureka, California SOCIAL CLASS: Middle Class EDUCATION LEVEL: High school Diploma, graduate of Humboldt County Fire Academy FATHER: Eli Nilsen (deceased) MOTHER: Cynthia Nilsen (deceased) SIBLING(S): Mia Nilsen (adoptive sister), + 3 TBD BIRTH ORDER: Cyrus is the eldest, Mia is the youngest CHILDREN: Evan Nilsen (20) PET(S): one coming soon.....possibly OTHER IMPORTANT RELATIVES: PREVIOUS RELATIONSHIPS: Giorgia Palvetti (ex-wife) ARRESTS?: N/A PRISON TIME?: N/A

OCCUPATION & INCOME

PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: Park Ranger in the National Park Service SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: stipends from working as a Volunteer Fire Fighter in Humboldt County TERTIARY SOURCE(S) OF INCOME: N/A APPROXIMATE AMOUNT PER YEAR: 60k CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB (OR LACK THERE OF)?: Very PAST JOB(S): Bus boy at Rosie’s in high school SPENDING HABITS:  Frugal as hell.  Despite knowing his parents would and could lend him money if he needed them to, Cyrus found himself increasingly determined to be able to take care of himself and Evan with only what he earned, finding it an important sign to himself and others that he could handle being a single, teenage parent. MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: practically: it’s the lock box with all his and evan’s important documents in them.  but impractically? and he almost wants to gag when he says it, but it’s the framed picture he has on his bed side table, of the first time he held Evan.  

SKILLS & ABILITIES

PHYSICAL STRENGTH: high INTELLIGENCE: medium-high AGILITY: medium-high STAMINA: high TEAMWORK: medium TALENTS: handy, good-listener SHORTCOMINGS: nearsighted (not, like, literally), tends to focus in on the task at hand and doesn’t pay attention to much else LANGUAGE(S) SPOKEN: english, very very sparse Norwegian picked up from his father (who only spoke it with his parents) DRIVE?: Yes JUMP-STAR A CAR?: Yes CHANGE A FLAT TIRE?: Yes RIDE A BICYCLE?: Yes SWIM?: Yes PLAY AN INSTRUMENT?: No PLAY CHESS?: No BRAID HAIR?: Yes TIE A TIE?: Yes PICK A LOCK?: Yes

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE & CHARACTERISTICS

FACE CLAIM: Taylor Kinney EYE COLOR: Blue HAIR COLOR: Dark Brown/Grey/Silver (more grey and silver these days) HAIR TYPE/STYLE: a bit of a grown out high-and-tight, buzzes it during the summers GLASSES/CONTACTS?: he doesn’t want to admit it, but he may need to start looking into distance glasses DOMINANT HAND: left HEIGHT: 6′0 WEIGHT: 190lbs BUILD: Fit, lean EXERCISE HABITS: Both his work in the Park Service and as a volunteer firefighter keeps him fairly fit, and while he works out regularly as well, it’s nothing particularly hardcore SKIN TONE: pale, but easily tans ins the busy season TATTOOS: Yes 👀 PEIRCINGS: No MARKS/SCARS: a whole bunch, but none of note NOTABLE FEATURES: that silver fox hair, baby USUAL EXPRESSION: open, calm, relaxed CLOTHING STYLE: Jeans, boots, t-shirts, plaids, leather or cargo jackets weather depending JEWELRY: chain with a saint florian pendant, that was his father’s ALLERGIES: shellfish DIET: Very simple.  He’s not a horrible cook, but isn’t one for fancy techniques or recipes, nor does he really ever have the patience for them PHYSICAL AILMENTS: Bad knee

PSYCHOLOGY

MORAL ALIGNMENT: Neutral Good ELEMENT: Earth PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: naturalist SOCIABILITY: Social, but still tends to come off a bit quiet EMOTIONAL STABILITY: high DRUG USE: Some weed in his teenage years, and every once in awhile, now that Evan is grown, he’ll indulge, but it’s a rarity ALCOHOL USE: maybe a beer-a-night, type of guy, tends to drink more socially PRONE TO VIOLENCE?: No

MANNERISMS

SPEECH STYLE: laid back, regular speed ACCENT: he doesn’t think he has one QUIRKS: prefers to give exact change, abnormally loud sneezes, texts with one thumb HOBBIES: has recently come to the terrifying realization he really doesn’t have any HABITS: makes the motion of cracking his knuckles, one by one, but doesn’t actually crack them NERVOUS TICKS: adjusting his saint florian pendant DRIVES/MOTIVATIONS: being a decent person, making his parents proud, providing a good life for his son FEARS: letting those he loves down POSITIVE TRAITS: hard working, reliable, soft-hearted NEGATIVE TRAITS: commitment-averse, stubborn, tunnel-visioned SENSE OF HUMOR: goofy DO THEY CURSE OFTEN?: medium-amount

FAVORITES

ACTIVITY: hiking, woodworking ANIMAL: dog, orcas and timber wolves BEVERAGE: Rainier beer BOOK: he’s more of an article guy, and honestly can’t remember the last time he read a book COLOR: green, he’s basic FOOD: a cheesy, messy, meatball sub (with potato chips snuck in there for some crunch) MOVIE: the pacifier.  shut up. MUSICAL ARTIST: dirtyheads SCENT: petrichor SPORT: baseball SPORTS TEAM: 49ers TELEVISION SHOW: Survivor WEATHER: Fall, post-rain storm VACATION DESTINATION: Orcas Island, Washington

ATTITUDES

GREATEST DREAM: dying of old age with someone he loves and his children and grandchildren surrounding him, content with his life in all ways MOST AT EASE WHEN: surrounded by family and friends, events like barbecues etc LEAST AT EASE WHEN: attending to a fire/emergency.  sometimes he wonders if he’d feel less so if he was more than just a volunteer fire fighter WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD HAPPEN: Evan dying BIGGEST ACHIEVEMENT: raising a well-balanced, decent kid BIGGEST REGRET: not going to college BIGGEST SECRET: he regrets not settling down and having more children, secretly having loved being a young dad, and knowing that if he has more kids now, he’s on the older end of the spectrum TOP PRIORITIES: Family, Friends, Work