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queenieloveswriting · 4 years

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Little orange bottles

A/N unedited little thing from a while ago, found loads of bits in my notes on my phone read this and though id post it let me know your thoughts ////hella old ngl sounds like shit srry ladsssss xoxoxoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxTW--Abuse//Blood//Bad thoughs ig sorry not good w warnings sorry if this triggers anhyone

*beep beep beep*

Your alarm rang through the room for what seemed to be the fifth time this morning.It was now 6:30am and school began in two hours unlike the majority of students in kildare county you enjoyed school and, your (only) friend pope definitely made it worthwile.You both loved school,people like his friends jj and John b didn’t like school.

Why are you awake at 6:30 again?....right!

You look over to yourself in your mirror and glance at your schedule sticky taped to the corner;

*DAISYS SCHEDULE*

6:30-wake up

6:45-shower

7:00-get ready

7:20-read

7:50-breakfast/pillz

8:00-head to Heywards

Obeying the list, you hopped into the shower and got yourself prepared for the day, brushing your teeth washing your face and applying a light amount of makeup. A tinted moisturiser, clear mascara and brow gel, In attempt to tame your wild hair you collected into a cute messy ponytail, breaking three hair bands in the possess. Putting your glasses on you choose your outfit, due to the heat you opted for something casual, a blue denim skirt with a black crop top and a oversized blue flannel top covering just to the bottom of you skirt

You went downstairs and packed some fruit into your bag. Opting to take your breakfast as today's lunch, knowing Mrs. Heyward would invite you in for ‘leftovers’ from their breakfast. Shouting goodbye to your mum who was no doubt still in bed exhausted from her night shift.

Running out the door grabbing your phone, headphones and favourite book ‘to kill a mockingbird’. I plugged in my headphones playing my ‘reading playlist’ and read as i walked up to heywards,occasionally looking up so I don’t walk into any unwanted attention. The third time checking your surroundings you realise you made it to popes in record time, because his mom came out ushering you and him in in for ‘leftovers’ .Pope rolled his eyes sending you a silent apology. You didn’t mind though she was more a mother to you than your actual blood.

“Hey nerd "pope greeted you pushing your glasses up your nose

“Hey geek” you replied, slapping his hands away, he pulled you into a quick hug and followed h8im and his mum into the kitchen.

“Whatcha reading this time?”he asked making you laugh slightly “Harper lee my friend” you replied holding up your book as he rolled his eyes “why am I not surprised ,you know the book doesn't change right every time you read it "he asked playfully “I know pope, but it’s a classic and i don’t have enough to get a new book until my shift next week so I’m not complaining “you sassed

“Yeah you're know that I’ve said you can borrow my books anytime “he asked

“Yeah but you won’t let me write notes in the margins pope! "you explained “because what about MY notes “he exclaimed and you both erupted into laughter.God,you're such geeks you mentally sighed.Mrs.Heyward scolded at us both for arguing and gave us some pancakes and fruit.

Mr.Heward barged through the doors shouting about some ‘arrogant snotty kook man’ and turned around shily when he heard you and pope laughing. "daisy hey sweetheart you need me to save you or you alright?” he asked, referring to his wife’s overwhelming mothering. You shook your head quietly declining his offer, smiling you replied “no sir it's fine, "you laughed "Heyward you need any help with deliveries?” you asked hopeful as you needed to buy some things for school. Being a pogue you tended to have to fend yourself, plus it gave you something to do. “Sure do doll, tomorrow morning,7 sharp you’n’my boy can help out and pope make sure you ask that Maybank if he's helping out too, need to know who goes so y'all come back alive”he joked”thank you sir”you shouted as he was halfway out the door.Turning back round to pope “maybank?” you asked, raising your eyebrow hinting you had absolutely no idea who he was talking about,”my friend jj you know the blonde who gets into all the fights i told you about”he answered and you nodded,still searching for an answer ”he's coming tomorrow?” you quizzed “yeah probably,plus i think it's about time you met my friends they all think i made you up”he laughed”c'mon we've gotta eat then go”

As if on queue Mrs Heyward shouted at you from across the hall telling you to eat before it got cold.After scoffing your breakfast down,it was time to leave.After regular smothering from your second mother you left.

“Sorry about them”he mumbled

“It’s fine it’s nice having the whole parents as parents thing you know”you said .Pope knew about your mom not being around or well really a mom.He said you could come round whenever assuring his parents you were just friends,they loved you.

He nodded”you know your welcome whenever”he said and you nodded again

“Yeah but anyways how you feeling today about mrs.spiky hairs test smartass”you joked “we gon ace it y'all ready know her tests are easy”he dragged

“True I’ve got all a’s every time”you smirked

“Yeah same but to be fair even my friend John b could pass them and he didn't know that there were two different there’s until junior year so....”

You laughed “wait I though that jj was the the dumb one”you asked “there both delinquents but gotta love em.I’m brains of the operation anyways it’s my thang ”he sang causing you to laugh at the way he pinched his shirt and pingged it brushing dirt of his shoulders “you should come to the party tonight and meet them if you want?”he asked and you shook your head “i dont know pope,party’s and me aren’t really a good thing you know how my anxiety gets in groups”you said and he nodded “i know it’s fine don’t worry about it but offers there when you want you could even come out just us on the pouge if you wanted “he offered “they really wanna meet me?”you asked “well they wanna meet MY competition “he challenged “not really a competition there bud” you teased patting his shoulder “but I’ll think about it yeah?”you offered “sounds good and here we are” you turned facing each other then back at the school making your way inside.

“Hey i told jj I’d meet with him just before first lesson give him his homework see you there”you gave him a confused look “they go here?”he laughed “yeah didn’t i tell you”you shook your head no “sorry see you in 10 nerd”he waved “in 10 geek”you repli,ex

Waiting for class to start,you set up outside your classroom and put your headphones back in continuing your book. The vibration of the bell and stampedes of teenagers scurry to their first lesson , you ended up waiting for pope who practically ran down the hall and laughed when your eyes met.

You went in taking your seats next to each other this happened up until break. then lunch you’d go to all your lessons together hang out at break,being antisocial in the library, but at lunch he’s always go off,with the pogues you assume,now knowing they go to your school.At lunch you go outside and walk to the bleachers and sit reading basking in the sun.

After your last lesson with pope you both headed home together dropping him off at heywards halfway.

“Mom I’m home”you shouted slamming the door dropping the keys on the sideboard .After no reply you expected her to be at work so you got started on your homework so you could”relax” on the weekend.

It was now 6:30,and pope texted you telling you the party started at seven and the offer was still up before you could reply,you heard your door slam shut and you ran downstairs hoping you could talk to your mum,and catch up.

You see her figure reach for a cupboard that hasn’t been opened in years left. this was bad.

“Hey mama how was work”you asked with a shaky breath

She glared swigging the bottle

“You know what sweetie “she spat “Mama don’t have to go to work an more you wanna know why because i got fired from work apparently they couldn’t handle me anymore,took to many people on,so sweetie work was fucking awful OK”she shouted

“Oh mum I'm sorry what are you going to do i mean i think the heyw--“

“Oh shut up you’re so pathetic you know,I mean you inside on a Friday night? should you be out like a normal teenager huh?god”she scoffed

“What mom I-“by now half the bottle was empath,being drank with such desperation

“I’ll get another job I’ve already got the heywards they can give me more time and an I-I’ll get a side job we’ll be fine w-we have dads money too”

“Sont talk about hijm!It’s your fault your father left you fucking incompetent piece of shit you make everyone want to leave,no wonder you have no friends. I mean look at you your pathetic you know these people in your books there not real DAISY god why can’t you just be normal you drove everyone away.this is your fault”

Tears were now threatening your eyes,but as you looked into the person infront of you,you didnt see sadness,you saw anger,you saw red.

“Mum Im sorry i-ill-“

Before you could say anything she downed the rest of the bottle and threw it at you.glass smashing everywhere cutting you up.your whole arm started to bleed as you cried out in pain your mum hit you,ran out and slammed the door shut.

she hit you.hit you.you ran upstairs not bothering to protect your arm wrapping it up in an old shirt.you needed your best friend,you didn't have many friends but he was yours you knew that nothing anyone said could change your friendship

So you called him running out of your house in todays clothes covered in blood like you’d been in a fucking horror movie

“Heyyy daisy you change your mind”he answered the phone

“Hey pope I-I need some help my mom a-are you still at a-at the p-party”you stuttered

“Woah woah breathe daisy where are you I’ll come get you okay”

“I’m near the boneyard you still there I-I’m sor-ry f-for calling i didn’t kn—“

He cut you off “no shut up it’s fine where are you,are you hurt what happened?”

“My arm s-she h-hit b-bottle “

“Fuck where are you daisy “

“Oh-oh my god there’s so many people here”you were sure you were having a panic attack by now,-you could barely breathe

“Wait daisy I-i see you I’m coming okay wait there”

“O-okay”

Hanging up the phone you were now just balling your eyes out in pain and hurt. You curled up into a ball only looking up when you could hear pope shouting in the distance.

“Shit daisy”he shouted

“I’m sorry I didn’t know where to go,my mum she she my arm I- I”

Pope wasn’t unfamiliar to your panic attacks,usually being the one to calm you from them,/

“Daisy breath okay”he stroked your hair making you look into his eyes

“What happened “he asked and you showed him your arm “shit daisy that’s close to a main artery your losing loads of blood C'mon let’s get you cleaned up back at the chateau “you just nodded following him his hand holding yours hiding you from the people as you walked past. Arriving at a group of people probably his friends,the pogues,. As your vision begins to go hazy you think that maybe your mum was right you are pathetic .He was out on a Friday night ,I looked like the whole damn school was here.he has his life maybe he didn’t want to be your friend maybe he didn’t want to just hurt you .realizing you were fading out he shook you “shit daisy no no no “he cursed“John b keys I need the keys”you heard him say and they were saying something about him getting some “dude shut up this is daisy she’s hurt “you heard him say and all of them looked at you,but you couldn’t bring your eyes too meet them.Soon enough pope was dragging you away and towards a shack,the chateau.

He dragged you inside and you were sitting on the Island In the kitchen/living room,this was a home.

where was your home now?.

“Here lemme see ''he pulled your arm and started to work. It didn’t surprise you he was so good at this he was always good at first aid but this?

Lucky it wasn't on a actual artery but the blood made it look worse,acknowledging the fact you'd been so quiet,he spoke up “hey D look at me “he said pointing your chin up,looking at you straight in your eyes”what happened,when your ready”he asked.As your breathing steadied,you began to speak “my mom,she got back from work sh-she just lost her job a-and”you stuttered,pausing to collect your breathe

“hey it’s okay take your time okay”he calmed you”she hasn’t drank since..”you stopped and he looked in your eyes.Pope knew all about your dad,leaving you when you were about to go into junior year,you never knew why but one day he was their next he wasn’t,pope helped you through it,when you began to get closer.

“Your dad?”he answers for you

You nodded

“She said that it-it was my fault that he left and that she lost her job an”you gulped,recomposing yourself“How I push everyone away and that’s why I have no friends I mean let’s face it”laughiing a breathy laugh “she’s right”popes head snapped up “Daisy!you have me,D its okay I’m you best friend and you know she’s wrong okay now this is going to hurt”he assured you,before you could ask questions your arm burned up from the straight alcohol he’d put on your arm “FUCK POPE SHIT WARNING PLEASE FUCK”you shouted and he laughed,frowning when he came too “Sorry,shit this is bad daisy,like really bad,I dont know what to do,I can just wrap it up But ii think you should go to the hospital“he said and before you could fight,a deep voice filled the room.

“What the fuck is going on pope”curse from the back of the room.After observing the heaps of bloody tissues and your T-shirt laying next to you“What the fuck happened to her man,who is this?”he asked pope who looked up at you,asking the silent of’should i tell him’ you shook your head with pleading eyes

Pity took over popes vision as he answered JJ’s question“Jj this is daisy,daisy jj”he introduced you and you sighed,finally meeting the blue eyed boy with watery vision“hey,sorry we,urm, woke,you”you stuttered “oh i wasn’t sleeping princess”he winked causing you to furror your eyebrows at the boy you heard stories about ,following up to the elephant int he room.”what happened”he asked,re-observing your surroundings,eyes finally meeting your bloody arm “holy shit you gotta fucking c-cat or something”he demanded .Before you could awnser,a half naked girl stumbled out of his room,pouting

“oh you really weren’t joking when you said you weren’t asleep”you giggle then pope accidentally pressed to hard into your arm making you scream “fuck pope Jesus fucking shit”you cursed

“Fuck I’m sorry but its clean and the plasters won’t do much but I’ll wrap it up anyways i still think you might have to go to hospital”you shook your head “no no no no I can’t pope you know that”he sighed “look nerd you know where she cut look how close that is daisy okay” pointing to your bandaged arm jjs eyebrows furrowed in confusion

You tore away from his gaze to the the floors

“Hey jj,what's taking so long sweets”his guest said,in a thick country accent causing him too sigh turning around going back into his room.You don’t know what he said but five minuets later she was storming out the rusted doors,huffing and puffing, and left and he walked back to you two

“Sorry”you looked at him and his eyes softened.You were gorgeous and so innocent who would do this to you?.he asked himself”don’t be she was to Whiny anyways you saved me”you smiled ,slightly rolling your eyes at the player you'd been warned from.

“Daisy”pope snapped you back to reality “hospital?”

“Pope I can’t I-I’ll just go home and-“you babbled

”no no way you're not going back there daisy okay not if your moms like she is right now”he said under his breath in attempt to be secretive

“Your mom?”jj thought out loud and you just looked at him,mentally cursing yourself

Ignoring the blondes “you know i can’t do that pope”you mumbled looking down.

“Why”he snapped

“Because I live there pope”you paused,forgetting the blonde”you know and it’s not like this is new, you know it’ll blow over”you urged,trying to convince yourself

“And what if i doesn't daisy”he quizzed” what are you going to do then”he asked causing you to freeze and stand in silence.

You walked up and hugged him,stifling a sob.Skilfully dodging your arm,you let go of him and held his stare.

“Pope,your my best friend, okay?Well my only friend. You know that, but you gotta understand why I’ve gotta go home,Besides, she’s probably not even in,she left straight after, she’s probably out okay”you insisted”I’ve got that job with you and your dad tomorrow I’ll see you okay”you insisted

After some silence he looked at you,”I’ll drive you home okay and if she’s there your coming back to mine”he hissed”You can crash in the couch like you did last time okay “he urged”let me just go talk to jj okay”he said leaving you in the kitchen ,now only realizing the blonde had left the room.After overhearing some not-so hushed whispers,pope came out followed by a blonde who carried an angered but also slightly pained expression that left you wondering what pope said in there.Did he tell him about your mum?

After snatching the keys from the side,where you left them,he led you guys into the van.You and pope got into the back and he and just hugged you there it was nice he calms you and you calm him .“Hey pope”you break the silence“Yeah”he returned“Sorry”you apologised“Stop”he spat.

You looked up to him,eyebrows arching up in confusion“What?”you pleaded,provoking him to roll his eyes and your tendency to apologise after any slight inconvenience“Doing it”he grumbled“Doing what”you urged,oblivious to what was annoying him“You always apologise,after everything”he answered letting out a slightly breathy laugh“Sorry”you laugh realising you already subconsciously apologised.“See what I mean”he tutted“Right but thank you”you pushed“Always nerd”he promised“Geek”you sassed,falling into a comfortable silence,enjoying who you considered your family now

“Hey daisy” he broke the silence

“Hm”you humed

“Did you take them today”he asked,you sighed

“I thought I’d be okay pope,i was i promise”you pleaded

“Daisy”he sighed

“I hate them pope,they make me feel so deflated,they make me feel like a monster”you mumbled into his shoulder

“You have to take them daisy you know that”he scolded

“I’m know i Just”you paused

“I know”he cut in

“I don’t want to be a monster anymore pope”

“Your not a monster daisy,i promise,you're amazing bub”he praised

Finally pulling up to your house,met with a cleaver driveway you turned back to pope who was checking for the same thing you were “see”you deflated”i'll be fine see you in the morning,7 sharp kids” you teases in his dad's warning tone

“Daisy i still think you should come back to mine i don't think you’ll b--”

You pleaded his anxious babbling with a kiss on the cheek”see you in the morning”you demanded and he sighed

You popped your head through to the front

“Thank you for the ride jj sorry about interrupting your night” you apologised and he smiled at you”no worries princess,we oughta be seeing you in daylight too though”he asked “maybe blondie”you winked giving pope one last hug before you made your way through the door,treading carefully,just to be safe.

#jj #jj outer banks #jj imagine #jj x reader #jj maybank #outerbanks #obx #obxfic #pope heyward #jj x y/n #jj x oc #pope x yn #pope x reader #pope x oc lovetriangle?#newfic #anypotential whatsoever?#I HAVE A PT2 BC IT WAS SO FFFFFING LONG #LMK IF U WANT IT

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sambergscott · 4 years

Text

a peralta guarantee

“I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta Guarantee.”

(missing scenes from 7x08 - amy worrying about jake)

hUge thanks to johanna for inspiring this fic and helping when i had a lil breakdown halfway through

When he approaches her desk mid-afternoon with a decaf coffee and the white chocolate chip cookies she’s been craving from the bakery across town, she knows he’s either a) broken something, b) wants something or c) has bad news. She narrows her eyes suspiciously, detecting an excited bounce in his step which can only mean it’s b and c; he wants something she’s not going to like.

“Hey, babe,” he tries to play it cool, clearing a butt-sized space on her desk on which to sit. “I come bearing gifts.”

“What do you want, Peralta?” She cuts to the chase.

“Damn it, you know me too well,” he mutters. “OK, so, here’s the thing: Doug Judy’s gettin’ married. He invited me to his Bachelor Party this weekend and I know he’s a criminal, Ames, but I really wanna go. Like, so bad. Would you be cool with that?”

She conjures up a mental pro and con list. On one hand, Doug Judy is The Pontiac Bandit, known felon, committer of God knows how many crimes, an overall bad dude. On the other, he’s Jake’s friend, singer of the smush songs CD in the glove box of their car that they always forget to take out, giver of the Le Creuset pot she adores. He’s always been nice to her and—.

“Sarge?” Gary interrupts her decision-making process with a quick question about a perp he just brought in, snapping her back to reality. She’s a Police Sergeant, her job is to serve and protect the city they call home and as much as she loves cooking her mom’s beef casserole recipe in Judy’s awesome wedding gift, she has a responsibility to bring him in.

“I’m sorry, babe. I just think it’s a bad idea.”

His face falls, his disappointment coming through loud and clear.

“What were you expecting me to say? Ignore the million arrest warrants out on this guy, many of them submitted by you, so you can drink beer and go to strip clubs?”

“You’re right,” he sighs. “You’re obviously right. Man, being good at your job sucks.”

She nods in agreement. “Remember last month when I had to shut that binder store down for running a secret drug dealing operation out back?”

“How could I forget? You cried for three days straight.”

“They had the best binder collection I’ve ever seen!”

(It was actually what was so fishy about it. In four trips to buy pregnancy binders, she hadn’t seen any of the founding members of the Brooklyn Binder Babes blog — Mary Sue, Catherine, Margaret or Jane — once. And there’s no way a stationery start-up would attract such long queues without their recommendation. It was a pretty easy solve from there).

“The point is, you can’t go to a criminal’s Bachelor Party.” She pats his hand. “You’ll just have to come maternity clothes shopping with me instead. None of my jeans fit me anymore.”

“As much as I would love to, you can take Kylie. I’m going to the party.”

“What?” She double-takes. “Jake, did you not listen to what I literally just said? We’re cops. We cannot be friends with criminals.”

“But we can be friends with informants who have helped us catch numerous, even bigger, more dangerous criminals,” he says with that look on his face, the one he gets when he finds a loophole that he can use to his advantage. She recognises it from home videos Karen has shown her where, instead of tidying his room like she asked him to, seven year old Jake shoves everything under his bed and carries on enacting a police chase with his race cars. “Captain Holt has given him immunity before, so technically I should be able to go party it up with him in Miami!”

“Wait... It’s in Miami? Miami... Florida?”

It’s a stupid question, she knows. Of course he means Miami, Florida. It’s just... they both promised on the flight home that they would never, ever go back there. After everything that happened with Figgis and not knowing if they’d ever see each other again, a statewide travel ban seemed a good way to put it all behind them, focus on all their future moments together, not on all the moments they missed.

“This isn’t like last time,” he reassures her. “It’s only for a weekend and then I’ll be coming straight home for snuggles with you and —,” he lowers his voice to a whisper because they haven’t told anyone she’s pregnant yet, “the baby.”

Her eyes fill with tears and she bites her lip so hard to stop them overflowing in front of all her uniformed officers. It’s pretty clear that he wants to go and she never wants to be one of them wives who control their husbands’ every move. All she wants is for him to be happy. And if going to Doug Judy’s Bachelor Party makes him happy, he should go, no matter how much she hates the entire state of Florida. She agrees, on one condition: “You have to text me hourly updates to let me know that you’re still alive.”

“Don’t I text you constantly anyway?”

“I guess so,” she sniffs.

He lifts her chin so she’s looking him in the eyes. “I promise I’ll come home safe, Ames. That’s a Peralta guarantee.”

“You better,” she warns, tears suddenly flowing down her face at the thought of him not coming home, not being there to watch Property Brothers with her, not raising their baby and proving to everyone what a great dad he will be.

Used to her extra strength pregnancy hormones shifting her emotions from 0 to 100 faster than John McClane can say “Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker”, he pulls her into a tight hug, careful not to crush the precious cargo that is behind said mood swings.

He strokes her hair and whispers that he’ll be home before she knows it and that nothing, not even the worst state in the country, will tear him away from her.

When it’s time for him to leave, she follows him out to the street and, after a brief argument over the fact he packed his bag before he OK’ed the trip with her and another hormone-induced cry when his cab shows up, reluctantly waves goodbye.

True to his word, he texts her before the car is even out of sight. Miss you already 😘.

Her phone buzzes periodically throughout the rest of the day.

In a meeting with Holt and Terry: flying on mark cuban’s dope ass private plane!!!!! ✈️

Cooking dinner: florida is HOT (not as hot as u babe, dont worry)

Doing her crossword in bed: g’night ames, g’night baby, love u both SO MUCH

She smiles, tells him she loves him too and braces herself for the barrage of drunk texts and selfies coming her way.

Sleeping without him sucks. The bed is cold, her pregnancy pillow is not as good of a cuddle buddy and she tosses and turns all night worrying about him, where he is, what he’s doing, whether he’s safe.

Her eyes finally slip shut around 1 am when her phone buzzes. Again. And again. And again.

She tries to ignore him, bury her head under her pillow and go back to sleep, but the messages keep coming thick and fast. She groans, giving up and unlocking her phone.

There are 47 new messages from him.

Forty-seven.

Her initial annoyance at being woken up quickly disappears as she scrolls through the thread. He’s mostly sent her random, meaningless emojis and keysmashes, interspersed with the odd “I love you”, “you’re my best friend” and “I’m thinking about you” that warm her heart. He mentions something about their proposal, about crying with Doug Judy, which obviously makes her cry too.

(Dumb pregnancy hormones).

By the time she reaches the bottom, he’s sent her 10 more.

She decides for her sake — and the sake of all of her officers who would have to deal with a tired, emotional pregnant lady — to turn off her phone and reply to him in the morning.

She returns her phone to her nightstand, settles back into a comfortable position and closes her eyes.

She lies motionless for what feels like hours, unable to fall asleep. She tries the breathing technique her brother David brags about constantly, counting sheep like little Matthew, even reciting police codes like Teddy used to go to sleep after sex. Nothing works. She’s still awake.

She turns her phone back on to see what Jake’s up to now, only to see his messages ended abruptly with a caterpillar emoji over an hour ago.

She immediately panics, dialling 911 into her phone.

Her thumb hovers over the green call button.

She’s heard thousands of crazy operator call stories, frequently reminded the general population to only call in a genuine emergency and watched the YouTube compilations for fun. She deletes the number, positive that if she told an operator her husband was missing because she hadn’t heard from him while he’s at a Bachelor Party, she’s positive she would be added to those videos.

In an attempt to stop her spiral, she contemplates the possible scenarios in which his constant texts would cease.

Scenario 1: He’s living in the moment and has put his phone away (something she has been encouraging him to do lately to reduce his screen time)

Scenario 2: He’s very drunk and has completely forgotten about his promise

Scenario 3: He used up all his battery texting her and his phone has died

Scenario 4: He’s fallen asleep (although a quick check of Trudy Judy’s insta reveals the party is very much still in full flow)

Scenario 5: Judy’s criminal buddies have killed him and thrown his body into the ocean

Once the thought pops into her head, no amount of squeezing her eyes shut will make the image go away.

Holt giving an emotional eulogy about wearing ties and being an amazing detective/genius.

Some rookie taking over his desk.

The sympathetic looks when she tells all the other moms in baby group that her husband died.

Usually Jake is there to hold her when her nightmares get bad. She rolls over, expecting to see his kind eyes and soft smile, the untouched side of his bed only serving to make her cry harder.

She can’t lose him. Not yet. Not until they’re old and grey, and maybe not even then. She spent so long denying her feelings for her dorky partner, rueing every missed opportunity to be together, and when they finally, finally took the plunge, she had never been happier. She can’t lose him yet. They have so much more life left to live.

She can’t lose him because he promised her he would come home safe. He guaranteed it.

She clings onto the tiny grain of hope like one might cling onto a raft in the middle of the ocean.

He would never break a Peralta guarantee.

Her phone finally buzzes again an hour later.

From: Unknown

Ames, it’s me, Jake. Judy’s buddies found out I’m a cop + destroyed my phone. So sorry I couldn’t text before. Hope you didn’t worry too much, although I know you probably haven’t slept. You can stop worrying now. I’m safe. Love you + see you tomorrow.

Love you too, she responds, yawning as she places the phone back on the side table.

Relieved that he’s OK, and exhausted from all the worrying, she falls into the easiest sleep she’s ever had.

Before she knows it, it’s the next afternoon, Jake’s keys are turning in the lock, he’s dropping his holdall on the floor and rushing to her side to kiss her all over her face.

“I missed you too,” she laughs, kissing him properly.

“Sorry it took so long — Doug and Trudy made me fly commercial —.”

“Don’t worry about it. You’re home now. That’s all that matters.”

“I’m never leaving you two again,” he swears.

“You’ll have to leave us eventually to go to the bathroom and stuff,” she points out, raking her fingers through the unruly curls that she so hopes their baby will inherit. “Just don’t go back there.”

A solemn understanding passes over his face and he nods. “Never again. Not even if our kid wants to go to Disney World. We’ll take them to the California one instead.”

“Smort,” she says, stealing his line and in an instant, that familiar grin is back.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

A dozen memories flood back, of oldies in short shorts and shuffleboard and Doug Judy getting away again. Of noice and smort and saying “I love you” for the very first time. Her eyes fill with tears — dumb pregnancy hormones strike again — as she buries her face in his shoulder.

“Let’s go to bed,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and lifting her bridal style to carry her to their room. He places her carefully onto the mattress and flops down next to her.

She snuggles into him, eyes closing once more. “Did we even get an invite to the wedding?”

“Not even close,” he sighs.

“Damn it. I would’ve loved to see that trainwreck.”

“You and me both, babe. You and me both.”

#b99 fic #jake x amy #my writing #it's taken me 2 full days to write this lemme know what you think

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cullxtheherd · 3 years

Note

🍵 ( unleash the salt )

it's happened in the past- quite a while ago now and a url ago or so, but it deserves being mentioned 'cause it was creepy as heck at the time!

a person or persons memorizing my queue schedule so that they can interact with me.

i'm not talking about messaging someone when they're clearly active because that's all normal, friend and mutual stuff! what i mean specifically is if i posted outside of my regular queue schedule before i had started using any kind of tag for it whatsoever this person would message me on tumblr and discord- i'm sure if they'd had access to any of my other social medias it would have been the same way.

and i do not mean i was reblogging posts and chattering in the tags like a madman as i usually do. i mean i literally just reblogged an extra post or two, one eye open, just barely awake, trying to struggle through the first moments of the morning and? suddenly here come the messages on more than one/multiple platforms.

at some point we really had a lovely mutual friendship and i really enjoyed our threads and world building, so it really sucked losing this person in that sense, but?? taking the time to first of all figure out what my schedule was and then set it to memory? that's... a little much and more than my spouse would do, you know?

it's honestly probably not that hard to figure out my schedule, especially with the way timestamps work these days where you can just hover over a post corner, but?? to even think to do it is just? weird as can be, I feel like. maybe i am wrong, but ughh it creeped me right tf out when i realized what was happening

i dont care if we're friends or mutuals or whatever and we tell each other hi or good morning when either of us wakes up- hell idc if i get messages when i'm not here, or on discord or more if i have give you that information!! that is all normal as fuck!! but that queue memorization stuff is super super not! and creepy as heck in my opinion.

so yeah!

that was a big YIKES situation if I do say so myself. reader/s: don't do this to me or anyone else, it's not a good idea. ok thank you i love you bye!!

#thank you for sending me this ask 🖤🖤

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cruecifymesixx · 4 years

Text

Love and Leather /part Sixxty Eight/

Word Count:10.9k

A/N: continuation from 67! Enjoy! Feedback is always appreciated

Warnings: language, extreme angst, intense therapy sessions, SMUT(bear with me. I haven't wrote smut in a hot minute)

Taglist: @brideofdraculana , @xstarryeyesx , @aryssav , @miserablecunt , @dangerous-like-a-loaded-pistol , @fandomshit6000, @anntheboneless,, @venus-calum, @justjodeye, @hi-my-name-is-riley, @extremesadnerding, @thatbandchick39, @awkwrdcait, @countrygirlswonderland @awesomealmostdopestudent, @romanticvengeance , @tashy-bear, @krazykatkay456, @terror-triplet, @shouttatthedevill @beachystars, @rodriguez025, @kickstart-myheart-sixx, @s-outhie, @anxious-diabetic, @awkwardblackgirls, @rockersbox, @brooklyn-antiques, @shamelessobsessions, @jerseytaint, @lilytalebi, @criminalyetminimal, @motley-queen, @trapt-in-a-dream, @lunamadhatter99, @broke-n-bitchy, @thanks2pete, @slowandangry, @lovesick-heart0, @keepcalm-and-beyou, @miriampraez, @teenwolflover28, @lilyhw1, @motherloovebone, @random-internet-user-4471, @falcon-arrows, @talranocchia2001, @wheresmyvodkabitch, @waywardprincess666, @iluvmesomemarvelndc @zoenicoles, @vamprlestat, @supersoldierballerina, @primal-screamer @electradestiny, @marshbev, @n0-sh0rtage-0f-faults, @cruebaby, @ggorehorror, @valentines-in-london, @miss2001babe, @nassauartist @cmft-jr-winchester, @bokkie92, @notworthyofyou1120 @xrosegoldwolfx, @lauravic, @mgkobsessed, @chaoticvybe, @thoughtsoftheantagonist @marvelismylifffe, @sleepyjunhong @lovemythsworld @sparxx27 @gingerspicetalks @unknownoblivion @siliwanoel @nevergoodenuffbutokaaayyy @sublimeprincesswasteland @kylieinwonderland @haileynicoleseavey17 @lavendersoundbarrier @ijustwanttokiss70srogertaylor @kellysimagines @meetthesixxter, @duffshairdye, @xpoisonousrosesx, @m0rnlngstar, @cranberrirolls, @oskea93, @love-struck-aries, @idumpyourgrass, @minxtruck, @i-want-to-shoot-myself, @cruesixxlover1991, @arianareirg, @fentitrbl, @dogmom2014, @sinningsixx, @motleycrueprincess

*Nikki's POV*

"Nikki, Vanity is in the hospital. She doesnt want you here but im not taking Arianna to the hospital because I dont waknow what kind of condition Van is in. So, I need you to be here for your daughter, or are you actually the asshole I think you are?"

I stared down at the desk, trying to Process waht was going on, "Nikki? Did you hear me?" My stomach was twisting into knots as my heart felt like it was stuck in a vise grip.

"The hospital? Is-is she okay?" I breathed out the words. You know when you have those moments where it feels as if all time is standing still and you are the only person in the univer? Thats how i was feeling.

"I dont know Nikki! All i know is Arianna wasnt picked up from school. I found her waitin ginside when I left. I tried calling Vanity but she didnt answer and I had a voicemail from the hospital saying she was there and im her only emergency contact she has."

I reached for my water, dowing it until the bottle was empty, "Uh...uh...it's gonna take me hours to get there regardless..."

Clementine scoffed, "Unbelievable, do you not fucking hear me? Vanity is in the hospital!! The mother of your child and so called loved of your life needed medical attention!"

"It's gonna take me hours to get there..." I repeated.

"I don't give a shit Nikki. You have the fancy jet, use it."

I shook my head, "Look, im the last person Vanity wants to see right now. Can't you just send Ari to one of her friends or something.? Can't someone else watch her while you go to the hospital? Clementine, I'm across the country..."

She laughed, "As if I would send her to stay with Jason. I'm her only friend here, Nikki."

I felt my bood boil and my body become tense, "Ja-Jason? She's talking to Jason?" My jaw was clenched as I galred at the doorway, seeing Brandi scowling against it.

"Well Nikki, if you had kept your promise Jason wouldnt be an option." I closed my eyes, breathing through my nose as I shook my head, "He's not a fucking option!!" I yelled back in defense, "He aint even a fucking blimp."

"Are you coming or not? Arianna has already been so upset and stressed out lately. I don't want her to be upset even more. Trust me, Vanity feels the same way."

I glared at Brandi, "Just give me a few hours." I watched as she threw her arms up and shook her head.

"You fucked up this time. I mean it. You can ignore Vanity, but you dont lie to your kid."

"I know! I know! I just...look I'll explain everything whenI get there, alright?" I retorted as I hung up the phone and looked at Brandi, "You! It's all your fucking fault!"

Brandi was appalled, "Me? I did nothing! You were the one who didnt call and kept saying you were too busy! Don't put that on me!"

"I did nothing." I mocked her voice, walking past her and to my bedroom, "As if you didn't fuckin use coke and your body to make stay with you."

I shook my head, quickly grabbing garments from the closet and throwing them on my bed, "Filled my head with bullshit!" I shouted as I threw the duffle bag on the bed next.

Brandi laughed, "Oh come on Nikki. You know who you really want."

I shook my head, trying to rid my ears of her nasaly voice, "Yeah, now I do! Now that I know my daughter has been crying over me and that Vanity is in the hospital! It takes her getting hurt to make me realize it!" I screamed, watching her flich at the loudness, "It always takes Vanity getting hurt to make me fucking realize how much of an asshole I am!!"

God, I fucking hope she's okay.

"Oh my god, she's probably being dramatic! Nikki, please don't go. I just got you back, stay here with me. Please baby?"

"Why?! So you can keep ruining my fucking life? So you can keep going on the lavish trips and shopping sprees?! Fuck you and fuck off! I'm done. If I get back and your shit is still here, I'm burning this fucking house to the ground with you and your shit in it!" I threatened, grabbing my bag and then my car keys right after.

"I'm serious, Brandi. I am done. I'm signing the papers and giving them back to the lawyers."

*A few hours later*

I got out of the rental car, slamming the door as I parked outside Vanit's apartment building. I went inside, repeatedly pushing the elevator button until it opened,. I stood in the elevator, pushing my hair out of my face as I tried collecting my thoughts. I had called Clementine on the plane and she said she was at Vans house waiting for me. I couldn't wait to see Arianna.

The door slid open on her floor as I speed walked down the hallway before I was face to face with her front door. I knocked and waited until it opened.

"Took you long enough." Clementine answered, a bitchy glare on her face as I sighed, "I'm sorry, okay! I am sorry!" I said, almost out of breath as I looked at her.

"I am not the one you need to apolgize too." She snapped at me as my eyes glanced over to Arianna who was staring at me from across the living room.

"Pumpkin.." I got down on one knee, smiling at her, "I've missed you."I frowned when she completely ignored me and walked straight to Clementine.

"I want Mommy." She whsipered, pulling on Clem's hand and looking up at her.

"I'm gonna go get her babe, okay?" I tried reassuring her, but all i got in return was mean glare.

Clementine smirked as I straightened back up, "Good luck, hope you come back in one piece."

*Vanity's POV*

I glared at the wall, sitting uncomfortable as ever with my arm in a sling, dried blood around my nose and six stitches on my forehead. My glare then went to the nurse who entered my hospital room. "Can I just fucking get something for pain?! I'm dying here!!" I yelled at her, they've ignored my requests three fucking times!!

"Hello! Are you fucking stupid or something?!" I groaned, pushing the bed side table towards the nurse as she was standing at the counter.

"And something other then god damn ice chips?!" I shouted grabbing the pink plastic cup and throwing it out into the hallway.

The nurse turned towards me, "Ma'am, you need to behave. r I will get psych down here to take you to thier side of the hospital. You understand me?" She berated me like a fucking child as I looked away from her and out the window, "I will work on getting you something to drink. Buut I cannot give you any medications." I rolle dmy eyes, pulling my arm away from her touch as she tried to wrap the blood pressure cuff around my bicep.

"Do you have any recollection of what you have put into your system? cocaine and diamorphine were all found in your blood system."

"What the actual fuck is diamorphine?" I qustioned her, rubbing my temples as I felt myself becoming irritated even more.

"Plus, when you came in your blood alcohol contenet was at a point one five and thats three times the legal limit in the state of New York." I looked at the banana bag I was hooked up too, "Diamorhpine is heroin, Vanity."

"Jason..." I mentally cursed him out, "I don't do heroin." I told her as she looked at me with the same look she probably gives other druggies taht tell her the same exact thing.

"Well, we did have difficulty setting up an IV, your veins are shot in both your arms. Luckily, we were able to get the veins in your hands to cooperate or we would have had to do a pick line straight to your heart."

I shook my head, "I don't do heroin. The blow was probably mixed with the heroin. I wouldn't willingly touch heroin. I didn't- I wouldn't."

"You are very lucky the car accident wasn't your fault, but the police will be in touch with you later to get your statement. May I take your vitals now?" The nurse, whose name tag read Margie questioned as I nodded.

"Statement? I don't rember anything. When can I go home? I have a daughter-" I gasped, "I have... i have to call Clementine!" I tried getting out bed but the nused pushed me back gently by my other shoulder.

"Our charge nurse has already conta ted her, now please, relax. I'm sure your child is fine." I took some deep breaths as I relaxed into the stiff bed, "Now, since youre awake and coherent, you dislocated your shoulder and you have a concussion so no blood thinner or it could make it worse. You had a minor laceration on your forehead but the doctor took care of it."

"Sorry to interrupt you Margie, but your patients husband is here." Another female nurse stated.

"I don't have a husband." I told them and right on queue, the blood pressure monitor started beeping eratticaly when I saw Nikki.

"Get out!! I don't want him here!!" I picked up a cup of jello, chucking it as hard as I could at him but he ended up catching it in his hands.

"I thought you said you were her husband?"

"I'd rather fucking kill myself than be married to him!"I shouted at the nurse, her eyes widening at my statement.

"Margie, should I call psych?"

Nikki put the cup of lime green jello on the counter, taking hesitant steps towards me, "I am just here to take you home. Clem called me and I just flew on the jet all the way here. She's with Arianna, she didn't want her to worry."

"You're her ride home?" Nikki nodded, "No! I'm not going anywher with this psycho!" I motioned to Nikki as he frowned.

"Doll, please?"

I pointed my finger at him, "Don't do that to me, Nikki! Don't look at me like that and don't talk to me like that!"

He rolled his eyes, completely ignoring me as he started talking with the nurse, "Can i have her discharge papers, please? She'll be safe with me. She's just a little uh...pissed off at me at the moment. It's nothing new." Nikki tried to laugh as I glared at him and as the jurses looked a bit weary.

"Do you have another ride, Vanity?"

I exhaled in a defeated manenr, "No. I don't."

"Why don't you step outside with our charge nurse while wehelp her get dressed an situated with the sling." Margie explained to Nikki, motioning to the door as he nodded and stepped out.

I pulled up my jeans after they handed them to me followed by my booths. The nurses helped me put my shirt on, with minimal complaints from me about my shoulder hurtinbefore hanging my jacket off my shoulders.

"Van, look, I don't want to be here-"

"You should want to be here, Nikki!" I shouted at him in the middle of the hospital, feeling other doctors and nurses look at us.

"Stop it! Just let me finish! I meant here, in the hospital with you! Clem called and here I am! So i'll take you home and just fucking go back to California if thats's what you want, alright!?" Nikki raised his voice as I stared at him in disbelief.

I vocally let out a "Ugh!" before pushing him to the side, "I can't stand you!"

"Yeah, just keep it coming Vanity. Tell me how much you hate me!" Nikki followed with heavy footsteps as we evenutally made it outside of the hospital, "Fuckin telll me Van! Tell me how horrible I am and how much of an asshole I am! Let's get it out of the way now princess!"

I quickly turned around, shoving him with my free arm repeatedly, "Where were you?!" I yelled, "You bastard! I can't fucking believe you would do this!" I shoved his chest again, forcing him to lean back into the wall as I continued to do so, "i'm so fucking sorry wer're such a bruden to you and your wife!"

"She's not my wife! I was busy!" He defended himself as I shoved him again, "Vanity, knock it off!"

"Busy with what Nikki?! Tommy's been here so don't even tell me it's the band and I highly doubt divorce papers take three months to sign!"

"She tried getting me to stay and-"

"Tried?! Nikki, you did stay! You chose her over me, not even me but your fucking daughter!" I shoved him again, but this time he grabbed my arm and forced it to my side.

"Calm down, now!" He lowered his head, shouting in my face as I fought his grip, "She's getting her shit out while im here! My marriage to her is over! Alright?! Stop acting like a fucking bat out of hell!"

I forced my wrist away from his grasp, "Just take me to my daughter."

"I'm sorry, Vanity. I really am."

I rolled my eyes, opening up his car door before sitting down, "Fucking save it Nikki. You're always sorry."

When we arrived at my apartment door, I unlocked it and tried slamming it in Nikk's face but he stopped it from closing.

"Mommy!" I sighed, trying to keep my tears in check as I picked up Arianna and gave her a hug.

"Oh baby, I'm so sorry. Mom got into a little trouble and she had to go see the doctors, but im okay now." I smothered her cheeks in kisses, "Pizza and cookies? Wow! Did you tell Auntie Clem thank you?"

Arianna giggled, "We made them for you! And we saved some pizza. Auntie said you would be grumpy and hungry when you got home." I smiled, silently thanking Clementine.

"Boo boo?" Arianna frowned as she pulled on the swing a bit.

I nodded and brushed my finger over her cheek, "Yeah angel, a really big boo boo but i'll be better in no time." I smiled as she kissed my cheek. I saw her then look over my shoulder as I sighed and put her down on the floor, "You should go say hi to daddy while he's here..."

Arianna glared at him before she loooked up at me, "I saw him already."

"Nikki took a few steps before crouching down to her height, "I've missed you princess." He smiled at her and fixed a loose strand of her hair, "Dad's been busy.." Arianna wasn't buying his bullshit either as she walked away from him and went to play with the scattered toys in the living room.

Nikki, the six foot and buck seventy five man that he is, got on his hands and knees and crawled over to her, "You got new toys? Those are pretty cool."

"I want to play by myself." Arianna told him, moving all of her toys away from Nikki and putting them in front of her.

I felt Clementines glaring at me, "I am fine."

"Oh really now?" She laughed a bit, "What the hell even happened Vanity?"

I motioned her to come over to the table and sit down with me so our conversation would be out of earshot from both Nikki and Arianna.

"You cannot get mad, alright? But I maybe snorted a bit too much and drank a little, or a lot. I don't remember crashing, and I sure as hell don't remember getting to the hospital-" I laughed, "And get this, heroin was mixed in with the blow I got from Jason. Isn't that hilarious?"

"Vanity..."

"No worries! It's all good!" I reassured Clementine with a pat on the arm, "I'm fine, I mean kinda. My shoulders dislocated and I have a concussion. They flushed my system, I'm good! I'm great!" I shrugged it off like it was nothing as Clem wore an upset look on her face.

She took off her glasses, rubbing her temples before she looked at me, "Good/" Good until Jason gives you more drugs?"

"I'm not. I'm done. I finished off what he had gave me, I told myself that's all I would do. I'm sorry clem."

She scoffed, "Sorry?" Vanity, you could've been seriously injured or worse. You're wasting money on this crap!" Clementine raised her voice just a tad.

"Well, so what if I am? It's not like I'm broke or poor." i retorted, glancing over and seeing Nikki attempt to get into Arianna's good graces.

"Nice, real nice Vanity." I looked back at Clem, seeign her stone cold glare.

"What?!" I gave her a confused expression, "That was not a shot at you if that's what you are thinking. You're not broke or poor. Your paintings sell and I give you money for being her babysitter."

"I said I wanna play alone!!" We both turned our heads when Arianna had yelled at Nikki, "Give me my dolly!" She yelled again, snatching it out of his hands.

"Princess, I am sorry I've been gone." Nikki spoke with hurt in his voice as he stared at her in shock before he glanced at me for guidance.

"Arianna, c'mon. You can't just ignore me." Nikki smiled before ticking her sides.

I watched as she pushed his hands away from her, "Go away."

"She's as stubborn as you are." Clementine mumbled to me as I nodded.

"I don't want to play with you." Arianna muttered as she moved away from Nikki completely, taking her toys with her but he only followed after her.

"Daddy just has stuff to take care of in California, ya know?" Nikki spoke softly as he laid on his side and tinkered with one of her toys.

"Go back to 'fornia!"

Nikki sighed, narrowing his eyes at her, "Arianna, do not yell at me."

"You lied! Mommy said you lied!"

Remind me to stop gossiping with Clementine while Arianna is within the same vicinity.

Nikki side eyed me before turning his attention back to her, “Babe, I-I didn’t lie. I told you I’d be back and I’m here now.”

“You stutter!”

“Arianna, I didn’t lie to you! Stop yelling at me!” Nikki raised his voice, not necessarily yelling at her but he was stern.

“Liar!” Arianna shouted, throwing her doll at Nikki’s face before she ran down the hallway to her bedroom. I heard her attempt to slam her door but since little tiny fingers and door jams don’t mix well, I had put foam at the top of the wooden frame.

Nikki mumbled as he got off the floor, “Just like your mother.”

“I think maybe you should go…” I told him as his eyes darted over to me.

Nikki shook his head, “I flew all the way out here. She can be stubborn all she damn well pleases, but I’m not leaving.”

“Then you should have called. Kids aren’t stupid.”

I closed my eyes, wishing Clementine had not put her two cents in as I felt Nikki’s anger rise even more.

“Stay the fuck out of it! It isn’t any of your god damn business!” He snapped at her quickly as she rolled her eyes before she stood up and started grabbing her things.

“Clem..” I spoke softly as I watched her shake her head, probably plotting how to murder Nikki and get away with it.

“Not a single fucking thank you for making sure your kid doesn’t know you like to come home high and pass out. That she doesn’t know how much of a fucking asshole her father is.”

I glared at Nikki as he rolled his eyes at me and went to sit down on the couch, “Clementine, I’m sorry. But thank you for making sure Arianna is always safe. I love you?”

She sighed, glancing at me as she looked back at Nikki, “I love you too…just call if you need me okay? Maybe take your mutt to go get neutered, he likes pissing on everything.”

I tried to keep my laughter in, “Bye Clementine, Thank you.”

I closed the door, turning around and leaning against it as Nikki stood in the middle of my living room.

“Can we please talk now? Just you and me.” I watched as he fiddled with his thumbs as I went to the fridge and grabbed my bottle of wine and glass from the cupboard.

“I don’t think you should be drinking if you…” Nikki stopped talking as he was met with my death glare. I sat down on the couch as he sat down next to me.

“You were gone for months, Nikki. You didn’t even call! You barely called at first and then it just stopped. How is that suppose to make me feel? To make your daughter feel?” I expressed my grievances as I poured the sweet red into the glass.

“Vanity, I’m sorry.” He placed his hand on my knee, “I fucked up. I really fucked up. She…Brandi gave me coke and it had me going for a minute. I was an idiot.”

“Blow? She gave you blow? I introduced you to your fucking child and you just run back to la la land because of some fucking dust? Prioritize what’s important to you, Nikki!”

Nikki shook his head, “I thought…I just thought maybe you didn’t really want me back, that it was all just a one time thing.”

That alone sent a knife straight through my heart, “A one time thing?” I stared at him, “After the night we spent together before you left, you really thought that was a one time thing? I wouldn’t of said the things I said if it was just a one time thing.”

“Babe, I was just…she fucking cornered me and it was a moment of weakness.”

I laughed in his face, “More like a moment of stupidity. Let me guess, she offered a few lines to you with her mouth wrapped around your dick again?”

Nikki took the glass of wine out of my hand before pulling me towards him, “I am sorry, okay? I messed up. I listened to the wrong person. I made a horrible mistake. I promise darling, I’m not going anywhere. I’m done leaving. I should have never went back there to begin with, should’ve made the lawyers fly out here.”

I felt his hand wrap around mine as his thumb brushed over my bruised knuckles, “How do I know that Nikki? That you just won’t leave again? That I won’t have to think of some bullshit reason to tell Ari why you aren’t here.”

“Because I’m not going anywhere Van, I swear to god I’m not leaving again. I’m not leaving unless you and her come back home with me. Brandi’s gone, princess. It’s done. She used coke because she knows it’s one of my weaknesses right after you.”

“Why does she have such a hold on you Nikki? I saw the pictures in the magazine. You two looked so happy.” I felt my chest get heavy as tears started building up.

Nikki kissed the back of my palm, “Those pictures were a bunch of lies doll, you have to believe me Vanity. I had to stay at a hotel for a few days after cause I felt so…so fake and wrong. I just wanted to hide and disappear from the world.”

Nikki wiped my cheek with a finger, “Why didn’t you come back to me right after that? You could’ve came here Nikki.”

I saw tears in his hazel eyes, “I-I was scared. Scared that the weeks I spent here with you and her was too good to be true. That all of this was happening again. It’s us Vanity, when are the cards ever in our favor?”

“We have some pretty shitty cards dealt for us, huh?” I laugh as I wipe his tears from the corner of his eye, “Please stop hurting me.” I begged him as I cupped his jaw, feeling the muscle relax underneath, “I’d wait forever for you, Sixx. I’m stupid for doing it, but I would do it in every universe.”

Nikki frowned, “I know. I know. I won’t, I promise. Please…please don’t take me out of yours and her lives. I want to be apart of it.”

“Nikki, that’s all based on your behavior. Not mine.”

He nodded, “Okay, fine. Where…where can I start? What do you want me to do.” He was acting like an attentive puppy waiting for his next treat.

“Can you get Arianna ready for bed?”

Nikki laughed, “How hard could that even be?”

*Nikki’s POV*

I had chased Arianna round the house for the past hour, even tripping and almost falling over rugs and her toys that were every where. I chased Arianna into her room as she laughed her ass off. No, this wasn’t a fun game of chase.

“Arianna, time for bed. Now!” I grabbed her as she started laughing more. I carried her to her bedroom before pulling down her blankets and putting her in bed.

“You aren’t the boss of me!” She said, kicking the blankets off and attempting to get out of bed. I’d be willing to let her but it was already nine at night.

I lightly pressed on her shoulders, putting her Back down, “Arianna, do you want me to use my mean voice? Bed, now. Or you won’t like it when you don’t get any cookies or TV tomorrow.”

Her big brown eyes turned to saucers, “You’re being a poo poo head!” She shouted, tugging the blanket away from my hand.

“Yeah, and you’re being a brat. Go to sleep.” I realized that was too harsh when her bottom lip quivered.

“You’re being mean!” She pouted as she grabbed her stuffed animal and turned on her side and faced the wall.

“Goodnight angel.” I muttered before turning off her ceiling light and plugging in her night light, “Or demon.” I whispered as I stepped out of her room and closed the door.

I walked into the kitchen, seeing Vanity downing some whiskey. She had just taken her pain pills not even thirty minutes ago, “Maybe you need help. Rehab or something.” I told her softly as she shook her head and put the bottle back in the fridge

“Van, you got into a car accident. We’re lucky this wasn’t another Razzle incident….” I trailed off as she stared at me in disbelief.

“Nik, it was just a fluke accident. Plus, the person in front of me was driving like an idiot. I’m fine.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Fluke accident? Vanity, I ended up dying and coming back. If I had someone tell me then I wouldn’t have gone through all that. And you especially wouldn’t have had to find me in my closet after.”

Vanity rolled her eyes, “Literally everyone did tell you to slow down…”

“And did I listen? No, I was too late and I was lucky to come back from it. Don’t you get it doll?”

She huffed and puffed, “You’re being dramatic. I’m not going to die. I don’t over do it like you. Jason just had a bad batch that was mixed with…” I waited for her to say it, “He gave me blow that was mixed with smack.”

”Oh, speedballs. Next thing you know you’ll be freebasing.” I retorted as she let out a gasp, “I would never do that! Listening to you and reading those journals you had were scary.”

I chuckled, “Scary? Well, seems like you’ll be looking for something more intense soon enough. It’d be a shame to make Arianna go through what you went through with me.”

Vanity shook her head, “I would never go out looking for something stronger and I would never do that to Arianna.” She defended herself as this argument was now becoming amusing to me.

“That’s what I said too. You know, you act as if I was never a drug addict. She’s not gonna be able to tell you to stop, she’s a kid Van. I had to watch my mom do this shit.”

She glared at me, “Because I’m not an addict like you Nikki. I’m not hiding in closets and I never do this stuff around her. Yeah, Jason comes over but we don’t do drugs here.”

I shook my head, “A guy you shouldn’t even be associating with in the first place! He’s bad fucking news, Van.”

“What are you? My fucking dad?” Vanity snapped quickly as we stared at one another.

“Fine, do whatever the hell you want. I’m gonna go find a hotel and I’ll be back in the morning.” I grabbed my jacket off the chair as I walked past her, “Goodnight V.” I spat out hastily as I opened up the front door.

I felt her hand wrap around my wrist as I hung my head down low and exhaled, “What? We’re just pissing each other off. You’re on edge because you were forced to detox at the hospital and not thinking rationally. You really want to argue more, Vanity?”

She shook her head as her hand moved to mine, holding it tightly, “I want you to stay with me, please?”

My eyes met hers, seeing the pain and vulnerability in them, “I’ll relax, okay? I’m fine. I just want you to stay with us. You’ve been gone way to long.”

She pulled me inside, walking backwards as she played with the rings on my fingers, “You relax too. I can tell you’re upset.”

I pulled my hand away from her, “Van, why do you think I’m upset? Clementine called me saying you were in the hospital? Do you even have a clue what I thought was wrong? That maybe Arianna would be without a mother and I wouldn’t have you anymore? Do you know how terrifying that is for me? You’ve been the only constant, besides the band in my life. You’re all I have Vanity…and I already had to experience life without you and I don’t want to do it again.” I sat down on the couch as she sat down next to me, her back resting against the arm as she looked at me.

“I’m fine Nikki.” I shook my head, “No you are not. You aren’t fine and you haven’t been fine for a while. Is this…is this because of me? You doing this to yourself. The drugs? The drinking? Hanging around Jason?”

Vanity played with the ends of her hair, picking off dry blood as she looked at me, “I don’t know…” I rested my hand on her knee, brushing my thumb across her skin, “It’s…it’s not because of you. It’s because of the hurt and the pain you cause. I’m high and I don’t think or feel it. It numbs it..”

I laid my head against the back of the couch, “Have you gone to your therapist lately? If you don’t want to go to rehab then you need to be going to therapy.”

“No, I haven’t.” She mumbled as I groaned.

“Vanity, you need too! I’ll make an appointment for you.” I looked at her, seeing her staring down at her nails until I put my hand under her chin to make her look at me, “I think you need to come back home. You live where there’s a dealer around every corner and back alley. You’ll never get clean here.”

Her eyebrows tightened together, “I’m not leaving New York.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t want too!” She quietly shouted, “Arianna was born here, this is all she’s known, Nikki.” She expressed her concerns as I listened.

“I understand that, but don’t you think she’d love to see the ocean? Be near me instead of only flying out when I can? She’s a kid Van, she can adjust. I think it’s only you who doesn’t want to come back home.” Vanity looked away from me, wiping her cheeks as I kissed the top of her knee before resting my chin against it.

“Then I’ll fly her out to see you or something. There’s an ocean here too, ya know? You moved around so many times as a kid and look what it did to you. I don’t want that for her.”

“I’m move here, then.”

Her lips parted, “You can’t move here. Everything for you is in Los Angeles, the band, the music. Not New York Nikki, no. I won’t let you do that.”

“Fuck the band, Vanity! I have enough money to not need the band for a while. I want you and I want our daughter, nothing else. I want you.” I told her as she wiped her tears away again and looked at me, “I want you the only way I know you. I want you to be okay again, to be a good mom and to be my best friend. If you don’t want to be my girl just yet, fine. Arianna can just take your place.”

Vanity broke out into a beautiful smile, “The only girl that’s ever allowed to to take my place.” She rested her hand against my jaw, thumb grazing over my cheek, “I still love you Nikki.”

“I still love you more.”

I let out a sigh, I guess we'll save the coming back home argument for another day.

*A few days later, Vanity’s POV*

“Mommy..” I opened up my eyes, glancing over at the clock and saw that it was seven in the morning, “Daddy’s making breakfast and I don’t want to eat it.”

I chuckled, sitting up carefully and resting my shoulder against the pillow, “And whys that?”

She shrugged, “Cause he’s a poo poo head and he’s being mean to me.”

I stared at her, brushing her messy hair out of her face “Quit calling him that Ari. You know, you’re probably hurting his feelings. He said he was sorry, you’re being stubborn like me.”

“I am not stu-stubborn!” She defended herself as she crossed her arms over her chest and gave me the stink eye.

I grabbed her and put her off to the side as I got out of bed, “Let’s go get ready for school and then you’re eating whatever your dad made.” Arianna crawled out of my bed as she started running to her room, “Am not!!” I followed her and went to her closet to pick out an outfit.

“Get dressed and I’ll do your hair after you eat breakfast.” I repeated myself, “No!!!” I chuckled as her tiny hands pushed me out of her bedroom.

I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen seeing Chef Sixx attempting to flip pancakes, “Ow! Fucking piece of shit!” He shouted as the bacon popped oil onto him as he turned it.

“Need some help?” I asked him as he turned around to look at me, laughing as he did so

“Ha! Yeah right! I’m not letting you anywhere near this until it’s done. I’m not eating burnt bacon or doughy pancakes.” He continued to laugh as he started cracking eggs in a bowl before whisking them.

“I’ve learned to cook.” I mumbled as I sat down on the barstool, Nikki handing me a cup of coffee right after.

“Two sugars and a lot of creamer, right?” He questioned a smile on his face as he held up the spatula. I nodded and took a sip.

“How was the couch?” My lips tugged in a crooked smile as he had an unamused expression on his face.

“It was fine. Would prefer to keep your bed warm. But…it was fine.” Nikki exasperated, “I had Arianna’s fairy blanket to keep me warm since you didn’t give me a blanket or a pillow.”

I looked at Nikki, taking another sip of coffee “You didn’t ask for anything last night. So how am I suppose to know?”

Nikki scoffed as he turned towards the stove and continued cooking, “Keep it up and you won’t get any of this.”

I shook my head, “Not hungry anyways.” I smiled when Arianna came out into the kitchen, glaring at Nikki as she climbed up on the barstool next to me.

“Well too bad, you’re gonna eat. You’re too skinny still.” Nikki stares as he put a plate of mini blueberry pancakes, eggs and bacon in front of Arianna.

“Am not.” I told him as I watched Arianna push the plate away from her, “Are too. Your ass is getting smaller.”

Jeez, thanks asshole. As if I can’t see the weight loss when I look in the mirror.

I bit down on the inside of my cheek, “Eat your breakfast Ari so we can finish getting ready.”

She stuck her nose up, turning her head away, “I’m not eating that. It’s gross.”

I sighed, “How would you know that? You haven’t even taken a bite yet. Eat, now.”

“It’s gross cause he made it.” She spoke in a matter of fact type of tone, sticking her tongue out at Nikki, “Can I have cereal? I don’t want it.”

Nikki put a plate in front of me, “Look, I’ll eat mine if you eat yours.” I took a bite of the pancakes, moaning as they were good, “Holy crap.” I started shoveling them into my mouth. We’re they that good? Probably not. But I can’t remember the last time I ate something sufficient.

“Can I have yours?” I looked at Ari as she tried reaching for my bacon until I handed it to her, “Babe, you’re eating the same thing as me.” I chuckled as she took her own little pink fork and took a bite from my pancakes.

“I’m gonna go freshen up.” Nikki muttered as he tried smiling at Arianna who still returned a mean little glare towards him. He frowned before leaving the kitchen.

“You know…you can’t be mad at him forever.” I told Arianna as she started eating off her own plate.

“Yes I can.” She stared at me, “…not nice.” She said, mouth full of sugary syrup and pancakes as I shook my head.

“Daddy’s nice and you know it. You’re not being nice to him, calling daddy mean names and not talking to him. He loves you Ari and he’s sorry for what he did.”

“Fine. No more poo poo head.” She giggled before she continued eating. I kissed her forehead before hopping off the chair. I walked down the hallway, yawing as I headed to my bedroom to straighten up and get dressed for the day.

After the morning routine was over and Arianna was ready for the day, she wanted her hair braided with one of her pink bows at the end of it. I slipped on a pair of shoes and slipped a jacket over my shoulders, wincing at the discomfort of putting my arm back in the sling.

“You could ask for help..” Nikki said, watching me struggle before coming over and helping anyways.

“Thanks.” I muttered, “Ari, you ready to go?” I asked her as she climbed off the couch and grabbed her backpack.

Arianna looked up at me and Nikki, “Will you walk me to my class?” She asked Nikki as he smiled at her before patting the top of her head, “Of course I will.”

When we arrived at her school a little while later, Arianna gave me a big kiss goodbye handing her a pink lunchbox right after, “I’ll pick you up later, okay?” I told her as she nodded and grabbed Nikki’s hand, tugging him towards the doors. I got back in the car, sitting down as I listened to the radio.

I glanced over seeing Nikki’s wallet was dropped on the floorboard. I reached down and grabbed it. I looked towards the doors and chuckled to myself. His wallet was stuffed full of cash. He’s such a hypocrite sometimes. He use to give me crap for always carrying around a lot of loose bills. I looked through his credit cards, he’s gotten two new ones that were a nice shiny black. I smiled at his goofy identification card, seeing him try to force a half assed smile. Nikki also had a guitar pick tucked inside the folds. A piece of paper was sticking out, but I realized it wasn’t a paper it was a picture. A picture of me and Arianna that Nikki had took when we spent the day at the boardwalk.

Through the tinted windows, I saw him coming back outside as I quickly stuffed the picture back in and tossed his wallet onto the seat, “Oh there it is. Thought I forgot it at your place.” Nikki grinned as he put his wallet in his back pocket.

“We have some where to be.” Nikki explained as he started driving away from the school.

I briefly glanced over, “Oh yeah? Where are we going?”

Nikki smiled at me, “You, Vanity Blackwood, have an appointment with your therapist.”

The smile fell from my face, turning into a scowl as I contemplated opening the door and jumping out, “You’re joking, right? Nikki c’mon.” I whined as I slumped back into the chair.

“Told you I was making you an appointment sweets. Did you think I was lying? You’re going and I’m gonna sit in there with you.”

*a little while later*

We sat side by side, knees resting against each other as we waited for my therapist to come in. I had my elbow perched up on the arm of the leather couch as I rested my cheek against my fist, watching the clock tick by slowly.

Nikki’s arm was wrapped around the back of the couch, his hand lightly rubbing my shoulder, “What time does Ari get out of school?”

With a monotone voice, “Three.”

I could heard the deep breath of annoyance as he took his arm and hand away from me and places his hands on his knees as he leaned over and grabbed some candy.

My ears perked up when I heard the door open, “Oh! I didn’t know we’d be having guests today. I’m Dr. Lilian Watson. Vanity, it is so nice to see you.”

“Yep, I’m here.” My voice oozed sarcastic cheer as I rolled my eyes, “This is Nikki.” I motioned to him as they shook each other’s hands.

“Oh…the Nikki. Vanity, I see there’s been some progress. What brings you in? It’s been a while since I’ve talked to you.”

I rolled my eyes at both the therapist and at Nikki, “He’s forcing me to be here

“She needed to come and see you.” Nikki butted in as I shook my head, growing more and more irritated.

Dr Watson adjusted in her chair, pushing her glasses up her nose, “Well Nikki, can you tell me why you think she needs to be here?”

Nikki chuckled, “She dislocated her shoulder last week due to driving under the influence of booze and narcotics. Busted her head open and had a bloody nose as well which is why I’m in New York to help her out but she’s not being appreciative of it.”

“Yeah, I see the sling.” She wrote some things down as I side eyed Nikki, “So, were still using?”

I reached for the bowl of candy on the table, “Not since the accident.” I shrugged and stuffed some m&ms into my mouth, “Incase you can’t tell, I’m being watched like a hawk. But I did stop for a while before then and then continued once I started hanging out with Jason again.”

“Who you shouldn’t even be hanging out with after last time.” Nikki butted in as I glared at him.

“I’m sorry? Are you my fucking husband?” I snapped, watching his eyebrows raise in surprise before turning away from me with a light shake of the head in disbelief.

“What happened last time?”

I groaned, “This was a bad idea.” I mumbled, eyes rolling as I sighed, “Jason got physical with me at the bar and Nikki beat him up for it. But Nikki doesn’t have room to talk when he was off getting high with the wife he was suppose to be divorcing when he should have been with his daughter.”

“I’ve gone to meetings in my free time, Vanity. Unlike you who just sits on this guys dick and gets fucking high!” Nikki fought back as he glared at me.

“I don’t do that!” I yelled at Nikki, feeling myself get worked up and by the smirk on his face, he knew it too.

“Okay, okay. Let’s just relax?” Dr Watson took off her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, “I don’t specialize in couples therapy, so Nikki in your opinion, can you tell me where the issues root from?”

Before Nikki could respond, “We’re not a couple actually so you don’t need to use that phrase.” I pointed out, my tone was extremely bitchy as Nikki let out a hushed Wow.

“Oh yeah? So I’ve just been hanging out here and taking care of you and making sure you’re good for no reason?” Nikki looked at me, “Seriously, not a couple?!?”

“Well we aren’t!!!” I fought back, “How could you even think we’re together?! Because we almost fucked that night?! You aren’t my boyfriend and you for sure aren’t my damn husband!”

In a raucous tone, “You and your fucking ten million reasons why! I had to go back! How many times do I have to explain myself?! I didn’t want to go back!”

“Uh maybe you could of told her to fuck off like the countless times you’ve told me to fuck off!” I continued to argue, my voice becoming hoarse from all the yelling, “Cause it’s all about me and Arianna.” I mocked his voice before rolling my eyes

“Because it is!”

I scoffed, “What? For a few more weeks until you find some new ditzy playboy?!”

Dr Watson cleared her throat as I sunk back into the leather couch, “Okay, let’s take a few breaths to get rid of some of this anger.”

Nikki reached for a handful of candy, stuffing his cheeks until they turned pink, “I’m not angry.” He mumbled as I scooted away from him.

“How is Arianna?” The therapist exhaled deeply as she looked at us with a forced smile.

“She’s fine, trying to get used to someone-“ I glanced over at Nikki “being around again. She’s in kindergarten now and is doing wonderful.”

Nikki piped up, “She’s a great kid, takes after her mother so wonderfully well.” He shook his head as he glared at me. I attempted to speak but he continued, “Coke angry Vanity and all of her fuckin tantrums don’t need to show up when Arianna is around. I grew up with a mother who used so I know what it’s like.”

“Yeah Vanitys mentioned a thing or two about you and your own addictions.”

“I am still trying to over come them everyday. I go to meetings, talk to my sponsor. I actually try.”

“And here comes the sob story.”

If Nikki wasn’t angry before I said that, then he sure as hell was now, “Sob story?! Are you fucking kidding me!?” Nikki grabbed the pillow I was holding onto and flung it across the room, “Me almost killing myself is a god damn sob story to you?! Fuck you, Vanity! You should know better than that! Christ sake, you’re apart of that sob story!”

“Nikki, I didn’t-“

“Didn’t mean it?! You never mean anything because you never fuckin do anything wrong, right?! Little miss princess Vanity with all her millions and millions of oil money can do no harm because everything about you is so god damn perfect, right?!” Nikki shouted, making me flinch at his loudness.

“What have I ever done to you? Except fuck Tommy more than once? Fucked Slash? What have I ever done to hurt you?” I questioned him as he stared at me.

“More than once?!”

“You had intercourse with Slash?” Dr Watson seemed genuinely surprised.

Through gritted teeth and a clenched jaw, “You fucked Tommy? Again?! When! You said it was only one time!”

“I-I didnt… I didn’t…”

He arched an eyebrow, “Now you’re gonna lie about it?! Did you fuck him again or not? Tell me right now Vanity.”

“Vanity, it’s alright. Just be honest about it with Nikki. It’s always a smart thing to share your past sexual partners with your current one.”

“I’m not fucking him!” I pointed at Nikki, “I don’t want to touch him and I don’t want him touching me! He probably got some fucking disease from his little wife.”

Nikki was more outraged at the fact I would call him dirty then anything else I’ve been saying, “I am clean, Vanity! Unlike you since you like to hop from dick to fucking dick!”

I smacked his arm, “Don’t talk to me like that!”

“Hit me again Vanity. I promise you won’t like what I do.” Nikki threatened as I almost took him up on it.

“Okay! Okay, stop it!” Lillian raised her voice a tad before clearing her throat, “Vanity, just be honest with Nikki. Nobody is hitting anyone."

“I slept with Tommy when he first came to New York, when he found me. I was emotional and he was there for me. You should be happy he was there for me Nikki!”

He laughed, “Happy?! Happy that my best friend stuck his cock in you?! Why should I be happy that you opened your fucking legs for him again?!”

“So clearly the issues run deep..” The doctor mumbled as I stared at Nikki with tears in my eyes, “I am sorry!”

“Sorry for what exactly?! Sleeping with my best friend? Running from me because of what I did? Sticking a needle into your god damn arm? Or keeping Arianna from me out of spite?!”

“Out of spite? None of this is out of spite, Sixx! None of it!” I cried to him as he shook his head, running a ringed hand over this face.

“Really?! So five years you just couldn’t call or write or fuckin mention we have a kid! Had to find out from coming back here and bumping into you out of luck!”

I looked away from him and at the therapist, “It wouldn’t be hard if he stopped fucking up! Do you know how many times I’ve had to deal with his shit! To pick up the pieces of what he’s done!! Maybe instead of shoving shit up your nose and crying over me like Tommy said you were, you should’ve tried a bit harder!”

Nikki was at his wits end with me, “Tried?! I fucking called your mother every god damn day! I wrote a fucking letter to you only for it to be sent back to the house! Don’t tell me I didn’t try! I would’ve gotten on my god damn knees for you! You were the one that didn’t try! You say I tossed you to the side, no! You fucking tossed me to the side! You left me! You fucking left without a trace! Left everything behind! Everything we had together like I was fucking nothing to you!” I watched him as I saw tears falling down his reddened cheek as he continued yelling his frustrations at me.

“You left me, Vanity. I wanted to fix it. You said it would have been better for us if I had just fucking died when I overdosed. Do you have any clue how that made me felt? How that simple sentence ripped my heart to shreds. I would’ve been satisfied with just your siblings or your mom telling me I was going to be a father. You knew how bad I wanted to be a dad, to have a family with you, to watch you carry my child. You chose to be selfish, Vanity.”

Our eyes stayed locked on one another as we sat in a silence that was choking me, “I’m not selfish.”

“Bullshit Vanity.” Nikki croaked as his tongue stuck out to lick away salty tears at the corner of his lips, “It’s always about you and what you want. You wanted to keep her away from me, you said you could keep going as a single parent not that long ago but I’m sure you would just keep paying Clementine to babysit her.”

“I never wanted to keep her from you!” My soft expression quickly turned into a scowl, “Do not bring Clem into this! She’s done nothing but help me!”

“Clementine practically takes care of her half the time while you’re off doing god knows what, Van! Don’t you see that?! I’d love to see how to it would’ve went if you didn’t find anyone.”

My eyes narrowed at him, “I’d be able to do it by myself! I don’t need you or anyone.”

My eyes stayed glued to his before I looked away when Dr Watson had put her notebook down, “I think we might be done with this session…”

“Yeah. That’s enough.” Nikki muttered as he fixed his shirt and grabbed his jacket from the table.

“Like I said, I’m not a couples therapist. But I think there’s a lot that needs to be uh, mended.”

He laughed, “No shit.” I quickly swatted his side, “Don’t be a dick. Thank you Dr Watson."

“Yeah, Thanks Watson.” Nikki spoke gruffly as we both started walking to the door, the therapist closing it right after us.

Nikki quickly grabbed my hand as he pulled me down the hallway. I saw his head shaking as he mumbled my name and profanities under his breath, “Ow, Sixx.” I winced as his rings were pinching my skin, “You’re hurting my hand.” I attempted to pull away from his grasp, he looked at me before opening up a door and shoving me inside, “What the fuck is your issue?!” I yelled as he flipped on the switch and slammed the door shut, blocking me from leaving even if I wanted too.

Nikki stepped closer to me, “You have a lot of fucking nerve acting like that in there.” I took a step back and bumped into the trash can Before I grabbed the counter of the bathroom to balance myself, “Just sitting there talking shit about Nikki and all the bad things he’s done to you.”

“I wasn’t talking shit!” I argued back, “And you started it! I was ready to have a nice peaceful session but no, you had to go and open your fucking-“ I instantly stopped talking when he closed the distance between us, roughly grasping my chin in the palm of his hand.

“There you go again! Blaming everything on me! Maybe if you weren’t such a fucking bitch I wouldn’t have to be an asshole to you! You ever think of that one, princess!?” Nikki forcefully pressed his lips to mine causing me to wince against the friction. Teeth scraping against my skin as I soon tasted a drop of blood on our lips, with a breath being deprived from my lungs as Nikki wrapped his hand around my throat, lightly squeezing as he did so.

I tried reaching for a fistful of his hair, on instinct alone his free hand captured mine in his as he held it behind my back. My nails scratched and pinched at his hand only for him to tighten his grip around my neck. A shaky, girly moan escaped through my lips as he took a step back, hand still wrapped around my throat as he broke out in an arrogant grin. His thumb traced over my bottom lip, wiping away the blood before he took it away and sucked it off himself.

I wrapped my fingers into his hair, roughly yanking his head down to continue the heated kiss. My tongue ran over his lip, before gently tugging on it with pearly whites. Nikki groaned as he placed his hands on my hips before his fingers found the button and zipper of my jeans. I pulled away from him, shoving his hands from me as I attempted to push my pants down. I let out a yelp before slapping my hand over my mouth when Nikki roughly grabbed me by my hair and dragged me to him, holding brunette strands by the root as he tilted my head back and pressed soft simple pecks to the front of my neck, “Let’s see if you remember who the fuck you belong too.”

The deep baritone of his voice sent chills down my spine as well as heat straight to my core. I tried to kiss him again but he refused to let me. His hand found my throat again, needy whimpers escaping. I followed his lips, mere inches from one another as his nose brushed against mine, “Nikki…” a pleading moan came from me as he chuckled darkly in return. His sage colored eyes were making my skin crawl in the best kinda way, knowing he was planning, thinking some of the most dirtiest things. I let my hands wander, landing on a silver buckle as I undid it and let it hang loosely on his hips.

Nikki backed me up until I hit the sink counter. He towered over me. one hand at the base of my neck, forcing me to keep eyes on him. I felt cold rings running down my body as he pulled the thin blue fabric down from between my legs.. An attempt to squeeze my thighs together due to the coolness failed when Nikki brought an open palm down on my ass. I closed my eyes before looking back up at him.

“Look at those pretty eyes just begging for me. Thought you didn’t need me, Princess?” I frowned at his words only for him to let out a laugh. His middle finger traced over my lip as I welcomed it, letting my tongue roll over the rough pad before sucking on the tip. Nikki added another finger to the mix, middle and ring now as I gave it the same treatment, “Dirty fucking girl.” He smirked in my face as he took his fingers from my mouth and placed them between my legs. My head tried dropping to watch what he was doing only for him to yank me by my hair, “Eyes on me. Only me.”

My lips parted when his fingers skillfully invaded my body, knuckle fucking deep. It was abrupt and sudden when his fingers began moving at a fast pace inside of me, fingers curling at just the right spot. The vulgarity of the sound of his palm slapping against my body bounced off the tranquil and zen picture frames that hanged on the wall.

“O-oh my god.” My voice was reduced to a whimper as he finally let his lips meet mine. I rested my hand on his shoulder, fingers gripping the hem of his shirt as I broke the kiss, “Nikki!! Fu-fuck!” I cried out for him, feeling him push another finger inside of me as he poked and prodded at the bundle of nerves inside of me. My eyes screwed shut, feeling them roll into the back of my head behind closed lids as I felt myself fall off the edge of pleasure.

“That’s it baby. Come apart for me, let me get a fucking taste.” Nikki relentlessly abused my insides until his hand was drenched with sticky wetness. I attempted to regain composure, pushing hair out of my face as I watched him suck and lick his fingers clean. Tattooed fingers engulfed themselves around chocolate strands of hair as he pulled my face towards his, warm and soft lips finding mine.

“Still taste so god damn sweet baby girl.” Nikki moaned as he grabbed me by my hips, roughly pulling me away from him before bending me over the counter, hair tangled in a fist as my cheek laid against the cool tile.

I closed my eyes, attempting to catch my breath as I listened to the sound of a zipper being pulled down followed by a sickening slap against my skin. I chewed on my bottom lip as I brought my head up, “Watch me.” Nikki growled as he yanked my head up a bit more. His free hand was wrapped around the base of his cock, giving long and slow strokes to himself.

My lips parted with a silent moan that never tumbled out as I felt Nikki press the tip to my entrance before pushing in. I breathed out a sigh of relief as I felt him fill me, completely. I noticed his bangs covering his eyes, but I could tell he was looking down at the intrusion of my body.

“O-oh fuck, Van.” Nikki moaned, sliding his cock out slowly slowly before sliding back into me “Fuck me.” He groaned, taking his hand away from my hair and digging his fingers into my hip His pace started increasing as his hips smacked against my bottom, fucking me harder and deeper.

Tattooed fingers found themselves curled over my shoulder, nails roughly scraping at my skin. My hips naturally started rocking into each of his thrusts, feeling my insides clench around his throbbing length. I closed my eyes, moans of his names falling off my tongue. An arm of his snaked around my body with a hand dipping underneath my shirt as he grabbed my tits, finger tips pinching and twisting my nipples.

“You feel so good, Nikki.” I breathed out, feeling his hand twist into my hair again. My neck crained back, his lips press against my forehead as he thrusted into me hilt deep. He moved my hair to the side, pressing rough and wet opened mouth kisses to my shoulder before nipping at the soft and delicate skin.

“You still take my cock so well, Princess. So fucking tight and wet for me. So…fuckin perfect.” Nikki breathed into my ear, nibbling gently as he did so. I turned my head just a bit, letting my lips find his before he broke the kiss and pulled out of me.

Nikki dragged me into a stall, making the door bang against the hinges as he sat down and pulled me over his hips.

“This isn’t sanitary.” I mumbled, “Ow!” A rude and sharp slap against my ass cheek ended all complaints I had.

“…don’t give a fucking shit.” Nikki stated in a husky tone as he gripped my hips, fingers digging into the skin roughly. I wrapped my hand around his throbbing member as I hovered over him, slowly sliding down onto it before I gripped his shoulder.

Pornographic moans fell from both of our lips as he buried himself inside of me. I started grinding my hips into his, feeling Nikki accommodate himself in the most delicious way. Nikki Sixx being the only man to ever do so.

Nikki cupped my jaw, pulling my face towards his as our lips touched in a slow and deliberate kiss. His tongue found mine as I tasted the fruity gum he was chewing on. His hips started thrusting up into me at a slow pace, “You feel that baby?” Nikki broke the kiss, his bright green eyes borrowing holes into mine. I nodded my head in a sheepish manner, “That’s all yours.”

I wrapped my free arm around his shoulder, leaning into his chest as I focused on his movements inside of me. He reached between our bodies, fingers dancing around my clit at a rapid pace. I closed my eyes, feeling myself clench around him. I knew he was close too by the way he twitched inside of me.

“Go on baby, cum all over this fuckin cock. Let me have it.” Nikki’s voice was strained as he tried holding off to let me hit my peak first.

“Nik-“ I moaned loudly, only for Nikki to put his hand over my mouth when the bathroom door opened up. My eyes rolled as he continued to thrust into me at a slower pace, smirking at me when I felt myself cum as I moaned into his hand.

“Shit..” Nikki whispered as he pulled out of me, taking his cock into his hand and giving himself a few rough pumps before he hit his end. I sat in his lap still, watching him jack himself off for a few more minutes until he relaxed onto the toilet he was perched up on.

We both heard the water start running as whoever came into the bathroom was singing to themselves, “Look.” Nikki whispered as he wrote ‘V&N’ on the stall with his own cum. I covered my mouth to keep my laughter in as I shoved his shoulder playfully.

“So romantic.” I mouthed before getting off his lap and pulling up my jeans and panties. I stepped out of the stall, the other woman smiling at me through the mirror as I washed my hands and fixed my unruly hair, wincing when my fingers brushed past my scalp. The women was taking her sweet time as she started checking her make up and fixing her own hair so I decided to leave the bathroom and waited out in the hallway.

My eyes went wide when I heard yelling coming from the bathroom, “Sorry!” Nikki yelled back as he stepped out of the bathroom, glaring at me, “I thought she left! Not you!” He shook his head at me as he reached for my hand.

“So, you wanna grab some food?” He questioned as he held the office door open for me and we stepped outside.

I wrapped my hand around his bicep as we walked to my car, "Yeah, I would like that." I smiled up at him, Nikki lowering his head down to give me a quick peck on the lips.

Nikki helped me into the car, closing it as I was situated. He started driving to wherever he decided to take us. He rested his hand on my thigh as I intertwined our fingers together.

I hope this meant good things were coming for us.

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contrivedcoincidences6 · 6 years

Note

AU headcanon where Scully is pregnant after IWTB instead.

There might be some errors because I am currently writing this as a puppy tries to lay on my keyboard. Also, I chose the name that people voted on for the s11 baby because I love it. Also, I lvoe this idea.

1. Their vacation is magical. In all their time together they’d never gotten to just relax. And they do a lot of relaxing but in between, they are having lots of sex. It’s almost like the near break up revitalized their relationship. They spend two weeks in the sun, on the ocean, and in bed. Two weeks after they get home Scully starts to show symptoms.

2. She knows pretty quickly, it feels the same. But she keeps it from Mulder, unsure if she actually believes it. So she takes three home tests while Mulder is out running errands (because he wants to run all their errands these days with his newfound freedom). All three are positive so she makes an appointment. Three days after a doctor confirms it she finally tells him. “Mulder…” She breathes against his neck. They are naked and wrapped around each other. “Hummm?” His hands comb through her hair calming her. She doesn’t know exactly how to tell him so she just does it.“I’m pregnant.”He pulls away and just stares at her, puzzled. She wonders for a moment if he thinks that she is kidding. The longer his silence goes on the more nervous she gets. “Mulder say something.”“Are you sure?” His voice is a whisper and her heart slows. They’ve talked many times about a hypothetical family but the pain of losing William usually shut things down pretty quick. She only nods. He smiles and holds her face between his hands.Mulder kisses her forehead before lowering one hand to her belly.

3. Mulder is thrilled to be a part of the process this time around. He hovers over her constantly, seemingly always at her beck and call. Scully occasionally has to fight her irritation at his constant loitering but most of the time she finds it endearing. He’s at every appointment excitingly asking question after question. Everyone is nervous, of course. It’s late in life for a pregnancy so when her doctor tells her she needs to take it easy at work and when she finally tells her to go on maternity leave Scully does not complain. When they are told they are expecting a little girl Mulder cries. Despite the excitement, Scully finds herself awake at night thinking of her son. “What’s keeping you up tonight?” Mulder asks from the darkness. Scully tries to put her thoughts in order but struggles, “William.”Mulder sighs sadly and wraps an arm around her. “I’m sorry honey.”They are quiet for a little while until Scully finally lets her fears out.“What if I can’t do it? I gave up on William, what if it was because I was too scared? If things get difficult with this baby will I just give her up? I’m just so scared Mulder…”He doesn’t tell her it’s nonsense because she knows it is, instead he cuddles closer to her. “We’re together this time. We’re safe.” His hand covers her raised belly, “She’s safe.”

4. “Tabitha?” Mulder says as he rubs Scully’s feet. Scully shakes her head.“Why not?”She shrugs, “I don’t know it just doesn’t feel right.”“You say that about every name.” Mulder accuses without malice.“I won’t say it when we find the right name.”“I hate to say it but we’re running out of time babe.” He looks pointedly at her large stomach. As if on queue the baby kicks and Mulder’s hand flies to the place where the little limb pushed up. He grins widely as she pushes against his hand. After a few seconds, he moves forward and kissed the place where a tiny fist or foot lay. Scully ran a hand through his hair and smiles tenderly.“Jane?” He asks after a few minutes.Scully makes a face and he sighs. “Maybe something meaningful? We could name her after your mother.” Mulder offers, purposefully avoiding the dead women in their lives. Scully sighs and looks at the ceiling. “I like that idea in theory but… I dont know Mulder it still doesn’t feel right.”“What about a family name? I’d offer but the only one I know of it Alte which means old woman in Yiddish.” His smirk makes her giggle. “Hey! It’s gonna make a comeback one of these days!” He tickles her feet and her laughter grows. Suddenly his fingers stop.“How about Katherine?” He asks and Scully smiles.“Perfect.”

5. It all comes on so fast. In one moment Scully is telling Mulder the cramps have started and in the next they are wheeling her into surgery as the doctor informs her that their baby is having trouble breathing. “Mulder!” Scully calls out and tries to find him. Before the panic can fully take hold he is holding her hand dressed in scrubs with a mask on his face. “I’m here.” He says and squeezes her hand. She’s awake and numb from the waist down. A nurse holds up a mirror as the doctor finds their baby. They watch with concern as the doctor pulls out the tiny, silent, child. Fear clenches around Scully’s heart until they hear a small cry and Scully falls back agaisnt the bed in relief. Mulder kisses her forehead.“You did it.” He whispers. By the time they bring Katherine over to Scully she is wailing at full volume, and it’s a beautiful sound. “Oh little baby come here.” She coos as they hand over her daughter. Once they are skin to skin the baby calms. Scully can feel the small but tough heartbeat of her baby against her chest and she begins to cry. Mulder’s hand gently rubs Katherine’s back but when he notices her tears his other hand wipes them away. “She’s safe. We’re all safe and you’re already an amazing mother.” When Katherine mews he rubs his thumb over her head, “Hey there little Kitty Cat, welcome to the world.”Later in a private room Mulder lays next to Scully in bed and they watch their daughter in amazement. Her every breath is enthralling to them. Scully’s eyes are heavy but she doesn’t want to take her eyes off of Kitty. As if reading her thoughts Mulder brushes some hair out of her face and kisses her cheek. “You get some rest, I’ll watch over her.”And she falls asleep to the sound of Mulders humming to the baby.

Send me a headcanon!

#txf #the x files #xf fanfiction #dana scully #fox mulder #msr

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rileyomalley · 5 years

Text

I meant to use these last wee hours to chug through work, but I find myself getting a little frustrated at my physical state, currently. Finding myself questioning, and instead of creating a thread (just yet) on my Twitter, I’ll throw this to the ether here:

prepare for a long winded thing I’ll probably just delete later at some point.

Usually I find myself with a perseverance that could be considered admirable, especially when wanting to knock down work in turn to take on more. But here I sit, attempting such feats as I did nearly flawlessly before and find myself....stuck.

Do I just not have the energy I used to before? Am I at a stage where I cannot so easily pump out 4-5 pieces in a short span of time for work? Is it age? Is it sleep patterns? Is it diet?

Too many questions, which I know plenty are going throw answers at me. Not that I don’t appreciate what could be said, I just feel like it’s not always that easy for me. Or maybe it’s pessimism? I get confused by my own waves of existence tbh.

One could say ‘change your diet!’. True, I could. My current diet may not be the best, but it certainly is not the worst. I could go through simple changes that could easily benefit me, but I can say Im definitely better off than I was. Could do with more healthy grazing, however. (and obviously....more water intake). I guess it doesn’t worry me too much.

Another could say ‘get more rest!’. Also potentially true, sure. But even if I attempted to do so, even if my schedule was shifted back to anything relatively normal - I have for a long time had a hard, difficult time of falling asleep immediately. Things like Melatonin only end up making me sick, and the only remote thing that’s worked is a bowl of rice an hour or so before bed. Maybe tea. Otherwise, unless I’m really desperately tired....I don’t get to sleep. It‘s been troublesome for a long while, so i just...idk.

Am I getting art block? I am finding myself wanting to work more on my own things as opposed to work - but unfortunately I run into the issue of balancing time to do for me, and time to do for others. I am trying to push myself into the habit of scheduling, even if I don’t finish all I could for that day. I’m trying, even if I’m feeling very resistant. Sometimes...I don’t want to draw anything at all, or really DO anything. (which doesn’t help when im trying to lower a commission queue or when I want to work on things that make me happy)

I won’t even start on trying to schedule things. I know well that is a habit im trying to get back into, but its like I don’t ....feel like I have the previous vitality I had before.

Basically, there’s alot bleeding into every nook and cranny and part of me feels like I know the issues, I recognize them, or what they could be, but I don’t feel theres a major defining issue as to why im running into my sluggish progress right now. Same goes with anything regarding my social life - its a reach out but im stuck still not really...doing anything about it. Like a constant pendulum and not sure where I’ll stick, even if I push myself to be a little more proactive.

I’m sure I’ll wiggle out of whatever this rut...thing is. I usually do. But I’m just feeling kinda stuck I guess. hell I’m just rambling at this point for my own sake. Sometimes I wish I could just go somewhere without some worry about whatever is going on in a certain location or what have you. Just go for a bit and not exist in my current plane. I’m not unhappy with where I’m at, I just...idk...space?? Not thinking? Natural shift? Trying to define it makes my brain tired.

dont even get me started on the whole needing company headspace. thats a whole nother annoying ball game entirely....

Even as tired as I feel right now, I know the moment I lay down I am going to be wide awake. and I hate it.

#riley rants #delete later #mental health #or some such things

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pisica-de-scris-blog · 6 years

Text

Ok, so this is my first time posting any of my own work on Tumblr for other people to read. its just one scene from a current WIP novel. It’s still REALLY rough i am just trying to get the first draft of the entire novel done then i will go back and do massive editings for content, writing style ect ect but i wanted to be brave and put something out.

Walking in the front door of the two story house I share with my bestie, her mother and her little sister, ok share is a strong word… walking into the front door of my best friend’s house that I am currently squatting in, thats better, I starting calling out for Tori. “She isn't home” I hear from the living room, I drop my bag and my books by the front door and hop over the couch landing on the cushion next to Vivi, almost knocking the bowl of popcorn off her lap. This obnoxiously smart 12 year old, wears her blond hair in pig tails, to make her self look even younger, mostly to lure innocent bystanders into her web of deceitful cuteness in order gain sympathy or candy. I still haven't figured out if she is just working the angle she was born with, or if she is really an evil genius who brandishes her cuteness like a broadsword. Seriously it doesn't matter the situation, she can get whatever she likes from almost anyone, and if they wont give it to her right out, she will get it by any means necessary, she is ruthless and her petite frame and all around adorableness, makes people underestimate her intelligence. Which is something that I don’t know if that makes me admire her more, or if I am a little afraid of her. Probably both. Defiantly both. One time I saw her con a bunch of teenagers out of about $20 worth of pixie sticks. Do you know how many pixie sticks that is? Hundreds. Meh, mean at least she shared. She, Tori and I went on a 3 day non-stop sugar induced movie marathon. The eventual sugar crash was hard, but worth it. At least until we found out that she recorded Tori and I singing everysong in Grease, loudly and very badly while watching the movie. She hasnt put that video on social media yet, she says she wont. But I see her little evil mind saving it for it’s epic black mail potential. “Where is your wayward sister?” I question stealing a handful of popcorn. “She went for a run, something about overbearing life choices and blah blah blah, I don't know, I tune her out when she starts talking about college and responsibilities and adulting. I mean really I am 12 I don't want to hear about adulting, or choices that impact your whole life. That shit is scary.” “You have no idea kid, but watch the fucking language.” I smirked at her. “Ok so what are we doing until she gets home?” “Well, I finished all my homework for the next few days, really this stuff is too easy. So I was thinking about begging you to order a pizza,breaking out the big puppy dog eyes if I need to” She looked up at me starting to make her eyes really big. “Pizza sounds good, put the puppy dog eyes away” laughing at her antics I grabbed the computer to place the order. “ and then can we maybe binge watch some netflix. Since mom is away do you think we can watch that show with the one main character who has to be slutty or she starves… and has the awesome best friend with epic fashion sense?” “No, you are too young for that show” “But I am really old for my age, I mean you know I am already soo much smarter than anyone else my age, and most ages. So I should be able to handle more mature TV shows too.” Vivi started rambling, getting ready for a fight to watch this show. “Your humility is heart-warming really,but your mother would skin me alive. And then who would order you pizza with pineapple on it, which by the way is gross.” “It is not, but fine.. Hot hunter bros it is then.” As I finish ordering the pies Vivi queues up the show on netflix and hands me a brush, I start absent mindedly running it through her hair as we wait for our dinner. My mind doesn't focus on the tv it keeps running through the events at the parlor. I need to know who those guys where. What they know about my mother, I mean she died in childbirth, and left me alone with an alcoholic father. Or did she? Maybe there are things I don't know. My father never really talked about my mother while sober, but if he was drunk and feeling nostalgic, he would ramble about her. I could sometimes make out some of what he said in between sobs and hiccups before he passed out. He would call her his angel and how she radiated this beautiful light. I always thought that maybe her death is what drove my father mad and it was my fault she died. What if there is more to the story? Maybe she was also in whatever this mafia or gang thing is that Cole is tied up in. I should of questioned Cole before I left. I should of made her tell me what was going on, and how my mother was involved. Instead I ran. Why do I always run before thinking? About 20 minutes into the first episode I notice that it is starting to get dark out, and Tori still hasnt gotten home. I know she drives to well lite parks to run and she tries to stay safe, but I will always worry about her. She watches the news and knows what can happen, so I know she is practical. But she has never had to face any violence. She has never had to fend off an attacker, and she doesn't always realize that being practical and trying to be safe, doesn't really mean she is safe. And the pizza will be here in another 20 and I have seen that girl eat. It’s scary. Just as I am about to call her to check her ETA my phone starts to vibrate Tori’s name popping up on the screen. “Oh my god, why don't people just text, seriously who uses their phone to call anyone anymore. Don't they know they are interrupting my viewing pleasure. How rude!” Vivi grumbles, as she turn the volume on the TV up a few more notches. I can feel the annoyance radiating off of the small blond, so I grab my phone and take it into the kitchen to answer it. “Hey Tori, are you on your way home? I ordered pizza. The small blond and I have started the demon-hunting without you.” I say into the phone. “Really, one would think having the pizza first would help with the demon hunting. I mean you could use the pizza as a very effective bate to lure a poor unsuspecting demon into your trap before you spring and attack him with your no doubt alluring feminine wiles. Now is there a sign up list for demons to volunteer or do I just have to wait for you to find me?” A smooth deep and very male voice spoke over the line. “Who the fuck is this, and why do you have my friends phone.” I could feel the rage in my voice masking over the fear. “Whoa chicka calm down. My name is Murmur. Your friend was in a little car accident, she is fine, but she is staying here tonight with us” I could just hear the smug smile in this assholes voice. That just fueled my rage. Take a deep breath I try to keep my voice calm and quiet, I dont want to worry the small blond before I have to. “Oh, I am sorry, are you a medical professional calling from the hospital to inform me to come pick up my friend?” I ask, my tone dripping with sarcasm. “No? Well then maybe you should give the phone to my friend so she can tell me where to come pick her up. And I swear to god if a single hair on her head is even slightly out of place I will own your ass. Do I make myself clear you arrogant douche nozzel. Now hand her the phone!” Seriously I know life is a bitch, but today it is having puppies. This shit is ridiculous. “Douche nozzel, you know if I had feelings they might almost be hurt. I mean I am trying to do the stand up thing here. I helped rescue a damsel in distress, putting a smudge in my perfectly shiny white knight armor in the process I might add, and then I call her friend so no one worries about her. And this is the thanks I get? Harsh.” Under normal circumstances, I would find his banter amusing if not even a little charming. Today is not a normal circumstance. In fact today, all his witty banter has done is insure that any regret I may of felt about being a tad harsh is just gone. “Give Tori the phone” I growl. “No can do, cupcake. She is being seen by our Medic at the moment, and she is kinda out cold. But I am being assured she is fine and I will have her call you when she is awake. Tootles!” The line went dead, oh hell to the no. Om Sarah breath, inhale, exhale repeat as necessary. Once I am sure I am at least sort of in control of my rage, I calmly grab the phone, and call Tori’s cell. Ok I will be civil, collected, calm and I dare say courteous, so I can find out what happened, where my friend is and get her home. “Aw, sweetheart did you miss me already? Really its cute but its getting a little embarrassing.” The condescending male voice answers “WHO ARE YOU, AND WHERE IS TORI” Well, so much for calm and collected. “I told you, princess. My name is Murmur, and your friend is fine. I will personally make sure she calls you as soon as possible. And since you have no idea where I am, or she is for that matter, and I have disabled the GPS on her phone, you are just going to have to take my word for it. And although I am sure you do a very sexy impersonation of a fire breathing dragon and are so ready to storm the castle to retrieve your wayward friend here, you wouldn't know what castle to storm. So you are just SOL. Sorry Xena, no warrior princess impressions for you today, so put away the circle blade and have a seat, someone will contact you shortly.” Then the line went dead Calmly setting down my phone, so I dont throw it against a wall. I take a few deep breaths to try and get my anger under control. Breath in breath out Breath in, breath out. I start to repeat my mantra, “sun is warm grass is green, sun is warm grass is green…. Fuck this sun is hot grass is fucking dead.” Time to get some help and get shit taken care of, heading back into the living room, I wonder how ethical my favorite small blond is. “Hey, Vivi.. If someone where to turn off the GPS in a cell phone,say Tori’s for example, could you still tell me where it is, or where it was when it was last turned on?” Vivi turned towards me and raised an raising an eyebrow considered my question. “Could I? Yes, I am all knowing and my powers of intellect are indeed beyond measure, will I? Well, its unethical, an invasion of privacy and illegal, so it depends on why and what I get out of it.” “I’ll learn how to play D&D and I will play for at least 2 hours once a month.” I offer knowing how badly she wants to play on a table top and not just with her friends on line. “3 hours twice a week, Tori plays too AND I get to watch the that show with the slutty not a demon chick” she countered. “No, I would let you watch it but your mom would kill me. THen resurrect me just to off me again. But I will agree to 2 hours once a week with me and Tori, and I will take you to buy more figurines.” “Fine, no show. But 3 hours once a week and one weekend a month where we play a long mission, I mean an all nighter with junk food and a lot of caffeine.” “You mean you want to take one netflix binge night and turn it into a D&D night?” “Yes” She nods “Done” We shake on it and she grabs her laptop. “So how long will this take you and your mad hacking skills” “I will have a location before the pizza gets here, and the delivery guy just pulled up.” THe door bell rings and I go to answer the door. Once I am walking back to the living room with the boxes and a roll of paper towels to use as plates, Vivi already has the laptop open and sitting on the table. “She was at fountain head park running in circles, like a crazy person, seriously who runs around a park In Arizona in the summer. A small man made lake does not an oasis make. Still hot, still crazy. Anyway, then she left, or at least her cell phone did and the GPS was turned off in downtown phoenix. Right off central ave, in a really nice area. Looks like its right by those newish condos the ones that look like a massive castle. She probably met some hot rich guy and is off making poor life choices.” “You hacked into the GPS on Tori’s phone and got all of that in two minutes?” I am just stunned. “Ok first off its not like you asked me to hack the pentagon and get nuclear codes, honestly. But no, I didn’t hack anything, mom has us all on a family plan for our phones, and she has some parental control thingys, so I just logged in and looked at the GPS logs, then I used that with google maps and bam info. Common sense, really isn’t a super power ya know.” She grabbed the pizza boxes from me and grabbed her first slice of pineapple pizza and started picking all the pineapple off. “I also went ahead and checked her car’s GPS and emergency system thing. It was also at the park, but it logged a minor accident. The incident report says it was a minor accident no injuries, and only a little cosmetic damage to the car itself. It said owner verbally confirmed no injury and that they had someone who would take the car to get it repaired. It also noted police were not called, and that insurance would not be used because the other party was at fault and is paying for the damages out of pocket. Since the report said owner verbally confirmed I am not overly worried. Tori, isnt dumb and she is a big girl she can take care of herself.” I am not worried.” I hate to admit it, but I think she is right. I did get a call saying she was alright, and as long as I get another call in a few hours I shouldn't start panicking. She probably did find some hot guy and is making poor life choices. It isnt something she does often but it has been known to happen. Plus, she has been super stressed lately maybe it will do her some good. “Fine, if you are soo smart tell me why, for the love of god, you make me order pineapple pizza and then pick all the pineapple off?” “Because I don't like to eat the pineapple, I just want a little pineapple flavor, like pineapple essence pizza, now can we get back to supernatural? Or would you like me to get you the D&D guide, I play the 5th edition.” As we settle on the couch ready to watch a few more episodes and eat our cheesy greasy dinner of awesome, I cant help but to think about Tori and where she is and if she is ok. Most of what Vivi told me matches the story that guy with the weird name said, but its just not really clicking me for me. When I pick up my phone I see a text from a number I dont know. Unknown: Hey warrior princess, I figured you might be a little pissed off with our previous conversation, so I figured I would shoot you a message to assure you, again, that your friend is ok. I would really hate for you to tail spin into an evil plot to hunt me down and murder me. And if I am being completely honest, your cute little threats are pretty sexy, so I was hopeing for a few more of those to hold me over for the night. My god the nerve of this guy. Who the fuck talks like this? Sarah: OMG Douche nozzle, you are disgusting. But why would a text from an unknown number make me feel better about you kidnapping my friend? Unknown: Again the name is Murmur, not douche nozzle, but I will answer to mother fucker. And here, for your piece of mind and spank bank. I cant help a quick laugh as a picture comes through on my phone of a very attractive man who is doing the worse duck lips face I have ever seen in true selfie tradition. Sarah: And what exactly is that picture suppose to prove? How do I even know that is you. You probably googled selfie and just downloaded the pic of the first almost attractive person you saw. Unknown: that is a pic of me I just took #nofilter and what do you mean ALMOST attractive. I will have you know I am considered adorable by some, pretty by most and 100% fuck-able by all. But I sent the pic so if your friend isnt home by tomorrow morning, you know what to look for when you start hunting me down for the maiming. Sarah: I still dont believe its you, you could be starting me on a quest to go hurt some innocent little European model while you are at home, in your moms basement eating nachos and playing World of Warcraft after selling my friend into slavery. Unknown: Ok dollface, what will it take for you to believe that is me. And dont think for a second that I didn't notice you said I looked like a European model, seriously I am blushing over here. Sarah: send me a pic with a fork balancing on your nose. Unknown: … uh ok give me a min. I actually have to get up and find a fork. A few moments go by and my phone chimes with another message. Its a picture of the same man balancing a fork on his nose. I stifle the a laugh and the true ridiculousness of this pic, and I save it to my phone and create a contact for this guy. I need to save his number so I can make sure he gets Tori home. Kidnappy douche nozzle: Believe me now sweetness? Sarah: Well that could be anyone with a fork on their nose Kidnappy douche nozzle: Really, Really? Riddle me this batgirl why would anyone take that pic, except in this specific situation. Sarah: Fine, so the pic is you. But that doesnt mean you have my friend and she is safe or that you are bringing her home. Kidnappy douche nozzle: Well I would take a pic of your friend for you, but she is in my friends bed, and from what I have been told taking pictures of women in bed without their knowelege is frowned upon. Its just past the level of creepy I am willing to go to, even for a feisty thing like you. Now it only seems fair that since I sent you 2 pics you send me atleast one ;) Sarah: Life isnt fair, I am not sending you anything. But you will return my friend in the morning or all hell will break loose and I will kill not only you but everything you have ever even liked. Kidnappy douche nozzle: I will keep you updated on whats going on and when she is headed back home. Sarah: then you may yet survive this. Kidnappy douche nozzle: now kitten, dont make promises you arnt willing to keep.

#wip #newnovel #excerpts from my writing #nanowrimo #nano 2018 #first novel

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im-basically-logan · 6 years

Text

Comfortably Pushing Boundaries: part 4

Previous - Next -- Beginning

so... it’s been a while huh? I actually had part 5 done before this but decided there needed to be another chapter in between actually. so part 5 should be out in less than a few days I hope. also this is a bit longer than the other parts i hope you dont mind ^^;; (mostly to make up for lost time)

Summary: Logan decides that it’d be best to watch Virgil as his wound heals so he won’t scratch it open. Nice little shenanigans follow.

Words: 2,589

Ship: Platonic Analogical

TW: mentions of wrapping a wound

send me an ask/message if i’ve missed something

Genre: Fluff

@alien-atmosphere @your-dark-strange-son @living-on-the-virge @crowsketches @nokatai-realm @generalfandomfabulousness @michealawithana @robanilla @freepaperie081 @mirror2thespirit @today-only-happens-once @lallide (url changed i think)

When Virgil woke up he almost forgot about the plastic wrapped arm until he heard it rustling when he eventually got out of his bed. Logan had told him not to scratch it, but it was really itchy! So many things were already irritating it he might as well just give it a little nick.

And then Logan popped in, as if on queue, with arms crossed and probably ready to tackle Virgil before he thought about scratching at his wound.

“Oh! Hey… Logan,” Virgil said, putting down his right arm, the burnt one, and waved with his left. “Did you really wait til I was awake to tell me not to pick my burn?”

“Well, no. You usually wake up after all of us and I was actually coming to replace the plastic wrap with an actual bandage,” Logan explained, gesturing to Virgil’s arm. The sleeve was pulled down over it but little strands of ripped plastic could still be seen.

“Alright then, Doc.” Logan huffed in amusement at the nickname, then brought Virgil down to the kitchen after grabbing the bottle of aloe vera.

“Morning, kiddo!” Patton waved at Virgil with a butter knife. Roman waved silently in greeting, currently downing toast and eggs. “How’s your burn doing?”

As Virgil returned the hello’s, Logan placed his hand on the counter near the sink and pulled his sleeve up to his bicep.

“Better, I think. Logan’s gonna replace the wrapping and medicine.” Logan gently took off the wrapping, exposing the blistered skin. It was less red at the moment, but still clearly there.

“Sorry again about this, kiddo,” Patton apologized, looking over Virgil’s wound himself.

Virgil shook his head. “It’s fine, Patton, really. I should’ve been more careful, y’know?” Patton sighed but gave a nod. Logan had been silently wrapping Virgil’s burn and in a few short moments he successfully applied the aloe to it and bandaged up.

“I believe supervising you on your itching tendencies is an order,” Logan said, making Roman snort from the table.

“Awww, Logaaaan. I’m not a child!” Virgil replied, sounding exactly like a complaining child. As he pulled his newly wrapped arm from the counter, he put it in his jacket pocket. “I’m not gonna scratch at it, okay?”

Logan shook his head. “Judging by how, as you put it, “taking your hand hostage”, went last night, I think looking over your actions with your burn will be beneficial.” Virgil opened his mouth to protest before hearing Patton and Roman say something along the lines of “I agree!” and he promptly shut up. All of them cared for him too much, but he wouldn’t try to fight it.

“Well, lovelies, I am off to adventure!” Roman announced after putting his plate in the sink, leaving to his room. Patton waved a goodbye and put the last few dishes in the sink as well.

“I left a few pancakes for you, Virge!” He called as he sunk out himself. “Remember to keep watch, Lo.” Logan smirked with a nod of satisfaction, Virgil groaning dramatically.

Logan watched Virgil like a hawk throughout the day after breakfast and Virgil didn’t scratch his burn at all. Successfully anyway. If he went to go for it, Logan gently slapped his hand away. Although this was the case, Virgil was probably just as stubborn as Logan. At one point in the day he had bolted from the commons just to get away from him.

“Virgil! Don’t you dare!” Logan had shouted, catching up to Virgil as he awkwardly rubbed through the frabric-y material of the bandage. The material had effectively stopped him from itching at the burn too much, but now it was red around the wrapping, irritated and probably even more itchy than before. Virgil looked up to see Logan coming over in quick, long strides.

“I didn’t scratch it that much, okay?” Virgil put his hands up in mock defense as Logan stopped in front of him, a scolding look on his face. Logan took his free hand and dragged Virgil back to the couch in the common room. He then began to distract the other by reading aloud and having them both do puzzles together. It went rather nicely, actually, and he didn’t try to run again

“No no no, that line goes there!” Virgil said, pointing at Logan’s phone as he played Flow. It was a difficult level with 15 “flows” that needed to be connected. Logan obliged and the rest of the puzzle was a piece of cake.

“Good one,” Logan said, seeing Virgil’s smirk out of the corner of his eye. Normally, Logan would have been in his room for most of the day, but Virgil’s situation kept him occupied. Although, being the logical side, Logan had various schedules done, scripts edited, and ideas from Roman sorted through days and even weeks in advance. It was no wonder he seemed overworked all the time.

They went through a few more levels before one finally got them stuck, then moved onto another app. Despite Virgil being mostly behind Logan, he could feel whenever Virgil tried to scratch his burn. It wasn’t even worth trying since the bandage was in the way, but Virgil attempted it anyway. Logan took Virgil’s free hand in his lap, the situation similar to the night before, and opened up another app.

“Actually…” Virgil began awkwardly, making Logan pause. “Y’think you could maybe… erm...” Logan raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?” He asked, coaxing the anxious side to continue.

“Just… talk? Not reading or anything but just… talk,” Virgil eventually finished, averting his gaze from Logan’s. Logan put his phone down, laying it down gently onto the coffee table in front of them.

“That’s fine, Virgil. If it’ll distract you,” Logan said, smiling a half-smile at Virgil in reassurance. “What would you like me to talk about?”

“Um… whatever you want I guess?” Logan thought for a moment and looked downwards as he selected a subject.

“What about robots and chemistry?” He suggested.

“Sure, I’ll be listening.” Virgil relaxed, leaning back on the couch with his free hand still in Logan’s grasp. Logan leaned back as well, glancing at the ceiling as he started his lesson.

“Personally, I find robots amazing. Not all robots are the stereotypical metal, humanoid things we usually think of. It can be beings created with chains of code, or a robot made to play Snake, or even a robot whose soul purpose is to make you think they are a human.” Virgil was actually interested at this point and Logan being so passionate was a nice change of pace. He knew the other didn’t get to spill his thoughts out a lot so it was a pleasant experience for the both of them.

“I saw a video recently about an A.I. that taught itself how to create jazz music, it was rather intriguing. Admittedly, the music wasn’t that good but some runs of it sounded coherent. Also robots trying to do mundane tasks is very entertaining, just ask Patton.” Logan paused, a little grin growing on his lips.

“Many videos depict metal hands trying to pour water or a whole body just trying to walk which usually results in failure. It really puts into perspective how hardworking humans can be because we go back and try to fix those mistakes.”

Virgil nodded and smiled as Logan kept going. This was a good distraction.

“You said something about talking about chemistry earlier?” Virgil asked, tilting his head. Logam nodded quickly and changed the subject immediately.

“Yes, I find it amazing how one little change of the amount of protons in an atom makes it entirely different. Mercury and gold, for example, are very different and yet only one proton apart. Gold has a melting point of about 1 thousand degrees celsius which is… approximately 2 thousand degrees fahrenheit, give or take a couple hundred degrees. Converting larger numbers from celsius to fahrenheit quickly can be inaccurate.” He paused at Virgil’s open-mouthed, shocked expression.

“How… how did you convert it that quickly?”

“Well it’s an estimate formula, but you take the degrees celsius, multiply it by two and add thirty. With a little rounding for larger quantities.”

Virgil shook his head. “Too much math for me, personally.” Logan chuckled in amusement.

“Well, anyway. Gold has a very high melting point, yes? But mercury on the other hand has a melting point of negative 39 degrees celsius or about negative 45 degrees fahrenheit.” Once again Virgil’s mouth was open in shock.

“Negative degrees?” He asked, furrowing his brows. “Isn’t that like… really cold.”

“Yes, well, mercury is a liquid at room temperature. One of the only metals to have this odd property, in fact. I suppose gallium is close since it can melt in the palm of your hand.”

“That’s… actually pretty cool.” Logan smirked, feeling proud of himself.

Logan shared a bit more about mercury and other elements. His favorite was iodine apparently.

The routine became second nature to Logan: Change Virgil’s bandages and aloe then either he or one of the others distract Virgil for the day. Despite Virgil’s constant whining about being supervised, it was actually rather nice bonding time. Logan watched him for most of the week and the burn had healed gradually within about 5 days.

“It’s not itchy anymore,” Virgil said as Logan took the wrap off for the last time. “Thanks, Lo.”

“You’re welcome, Virgil. I’m glad it healed so quickly.”

“Me too.” Virgil chuckled and after Logan threw the bandage into the garbage, Patton threw himself onto Virgil for a hug.

“Me too, kiddo! So glad you’re all better!” Patton squealed. Roman, who was just behind Patton, gave Virgil a comforting pat on the shoulder after Patton broke off from the embrace.

“Don’t burn yourself again, you hear me? You had us all worried and fussing for a week--”

“It was 5 days--”

“--nonetheless, I’m also grateful that you are better.” Roman shot Virgil a sincere smile and Virgil timidly smiled back. They all left to their respective rooms, occasionally returning to the commons as usual, and went on with the rest of their day.

The next day, Logan forgot that Virgil’s wound had healed and just casually went into Virgil’s room to change his non-existent bandaging.

“Logan? My burn’s gone now, remember?” Virgil said groggily, sitting up in his bed.

Logan blinked, becoming a little flustered with himself. “Oh, I apologize. It had just become so second nature for me to come in and take you to the kitchen…” Virgil waved his hand, still clearly tired but he didn’t seem to mind the other’s company.

“It’s chill. I’d say that you can stay a while, but y’know how my room is.”

“Alright, just come to my room if you need me.” Then Logan left and although he hid it well, he still felt a bit embarrassed by his mistake.

A few hours passed and Virgil ended up in Logan’s room with a plate of cookies.

“‘Atton shed to vring theesh ‘o ya,” Virgil said as he was eating a cookie himself.

“Please don’t speak with your mouth full,” Logan replied, reaching out for the plate. “But thank you. I’ll go thank him later.”

“I um…” Virgil swallowed his cookie and cleared his throat. “I was wondering if I could stay for a while actually. Not just for the cookies, obviously. Pat gave me a plate earlier.” He scratched the back of his neck. Logan, who had just set the plate down on a table, turned his head with a surprisingly comforting glance.

“You don’t have to ask, Virgil. You’ve done it before, after all,” Logan said. “Anyways, would you like to be in the library setting?”

“Sure…”

“Alright.” Within an instant the room became a library once more, book shelves making their way into the scene and familiar furniture forming in the center. The plate of cookies had conveniently been shifted from Logan’s usual table to the coffee table in the library.

“Would you like something specific to do? I also have a few audio books to recommend you if you’d like.” Logan took a cookie from the plate as he spoke, taking a seat in his chair. “Also feel free to sit in the other chair and not under the table.”

Virgil rolled his eyes in a lighthearted manner, making his way over to the chair Logan referred to. He sat on the chair’s arm, which was close enough on the actual chair at this point.

“Um… I dunno. Just chillin’ with you is cool.” Virgil fiddled about with his thumbs, looking down at his thighs.

“Are you sure? It’s fine whatever you chose.” Logan took a bite of his cookie as he spoke, covering his mouth with his free hand as he munched.

Looking back up at Logan, Virgil replied,”Actually… maybe we can listen to music? Anything you want.” Logan took a few moments to reply, making sure he wouldn’t be sputtering with the treat in his mouth.

“That sounds rather peaceful, would you like to listen through earbuds or a speaker?”

“Earbuds.”

Virgil had beaten Logan to it, grabbing a pair from his jacket pocket. Logan took out his phone, pulling up Youtube and picking a playlist full of instrumentals. Specifically, many classical pieces but also other more modern ones containing ukulele, piano, and other calming instruments. Virgil got up from his perch, handing Logan his earbuds before realizing the situation.

“I umm… I could sit on the floor?” He said, gesturing to the small size of Logan’s chair.

“Nonsense, I’ll just make the chair longer. This is my room after all and while Roman can conjure many things outside of his room, we can do many things ourselves in our respective realms.”

“Oh right… I guess the uh… the cognitive distortion thing made me forget.” Virgil was jumping to conclusions again, like he always did. But he was trying to get better.

“It seemed to. Anyway…” Logan snapped two fingers together and the chair had turned into a couch, the cushions seeming a bit softer than before and two pillows added on either end. “Sit down on the actual cushions for optimal earbud sharing, if you will.” Virgil obliged, properly sitting on the couch for once on one end and placed his arm on the arm rest. Logan followed soon after, sitting somewhat close to Virgil. “Would you mind if I sat closer like how we sometimes do?”

The physical contact was nice but Virgil had never liked initiating it-- it felt like he was taking something without permission. “Um, yeah, go ahead.”

So Logan did, moving on the couch directly next to Virgil, legs touching. He plugged in the earbuds to his phone, handing Virgil one of them. Logan put the other in his own ear and pressed play.

They sat in silence for a while, perhaps a few hours, as the music played. Many songs later, the plate of cookies was empty with nothing but crumbs and traces of chocolate. Virgil had his eyes closed, but was still awake, and leaned against the couch. He seemed relaxed. Logan had given himself a book to silently read, the music being a nice accompaniment.

There was a small intermission of sorts when Logan eventually left Virgil to put the plate away, he returned shortly after, getting back into place next to Virgil and continuing to read and listen to music.

“Thanks, Logan… again,” Virgil said modestly, almost a mumble, but Logan heard it.

“You’re very welcome Virgil, as always.”

#sander sides #virgil sanders #logan sanders #analogical #sander sides fic #fic #my fic #lo rambles #comfortably pushing boundaries fic

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shytiff · 3 years

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Nov 2021

1 - PIS-PK with teh nabila @ kebon dalem. finished at 11. saw an SJS case that was initially told to be herpes. changed my bike brakes and oil (130k). Prof whatsapped me that a PPT that will be presented at 14 Nov was supposed to be submitted the day after tomorrow, also with abstract lol. felt anxious but chill at the same time (?). i also get to be alone at mess for a bit. it was raining. worked on Prof’s PPT. an unknown number called and it turned out to be hansel. of course people calls when sumn to do. Bought double shot kopi soe low fat bcs i was afraid of falling asleep. it was rly acidic for me, and within a few gulps my stomach started reacting. slept at 12-1ish.

2 - MTBS. bought kanayam for lunch, dinner (and spoiler alert 2mrw’s bfast). video called with kris in pkm. he called me again just as im about to rly finish this ppt. thank god i finished it. still had some energy to do abstract but i cant bring myself to do it. so i just slept.

3 - did abstract in the morning. it took ~30 mins lol. but maybe i cant think as clearly the night before. BP. solid’s bukang arrived for some of us. i still have to do the revision for that pancreatic Ca ppt. i ended up reading some fanfic, yubisaki to renren and fell asleep. woke up at like 11:30 pm ish, with my stomach bloated til the point of pain. made myself some warm matcha latte. tri was also awake and she bought nasgor at like 1 am. did that revision but cant bring myself to finish it even thought i still have energy. i laid down and read killugon fic.

4 - fell asleep. had a bit of sleep paralysis in my hand. cooked spinach and egg in the morning. KIA today with bu mutiah. thank god its chill bcs i get to quickly finish that revision bcs Prof chatted me AGAIN omg i feel bad. with his emails this will be the 3rd time he reminded me. thankfully he’s super kind and patient, and i have to be grateful for meeting kind people in life. bought nasi kebuli with rabeg sapi for lunch, with chicken and telur balado for later. Tried croffle from Rumah Kalingga and i also bought frozen risol. the risol was quite fulfilling. the croffle did not have that croissant feature lol.

5 - my dumb ass sent the wrong PPT to Prof, so i fixed it and sent what hopefully is the last one. Posyandu kb. dalem with bu vivi and bu ade. got free food for bfast and lunch hehe. stayed in mess. check in pwkt. Zoom with dr eva and kak rayhan. i need to pull myself togetherrr. bought 2 500ml coffee and bread from roti o for 39k lol. but i did not drink the coffee that day. i shouldve lol. i just slept

6 - mtbs today alone. ppl offered for me to move to BP but i love being alone and not having to interact lolll. tried to follow along to APICD webinar. attended bu ningrum daughter’s wedding with iship peeps in madison avenue, citangkil. drank rotio coffee to curb the sleepiness and managed to finish the word narration for Prof’s PPT in one sitting. fried the risol and frozen karage for dinner. suddenly had the urge to study lol webinars make me wanna study

7 - jogged a bit. saw stuff in CFD. originally wanted roti canai but it was full of queue so i only got kerupuk kulit. smelled the frozen chicken breast i bought ((i dont even remember WHEN)) and it smelled awfully sour and funky. so there goes my 20k. lesson learned: i dont even have the commitment to cook the food staples i bought myself,,,. APICD webinar. searched for kak tika’s package. ill try again 2mrw. bought wingstop. laid down while listening to webinar and i fell asleep in the important part of ECG :””” but managed to listen to the 2/3 rest of the total workshop. some caffeine sip to hopefullly give me courage. searched videos to put in Prof’s PPT.

8 - searched the package from kak tika in KS. thankfully its there. kak tika gave me Al-Quran and chocolates. lots of chocolates. i hope i can read more quran. leftover wingstop for bfast at pkm. posyandu kotabumi (rly close to mess!) w teh yuyun. she offered a ngamen opportunity in klinik tri husada. afternoon nap. a looot of denial until i finally opened dr eva’s work again, trying to move things along. it takes a lot of thinking and staring into nothing. but i guess there’s some mental progress (?). accompanied by rotio hazelnut coffee. still cant help myself so i played cafe white noise by 4AM Around the World. it has that sbux vibe minus the coffee smell. got boxed rice from fitri yay. always grateful for free foods. kind ppl inspire me to become a better person

9 - poli MTBS accompanied by red candy. dr eva said i can go to the next chap and suddenly i feel reinvigorated lol. sent her the revision i did for the last paragraph. my head hurts and its probable asking for some cofveve lol. didnt do anything useful even though i shouldve

10 - posyandu tegal bunder with bu elisna. saw two underweight twin neonates. nasi kotak for lunch yay. dinner was sponsored by renata uyey. another coffee withdrawal headache. fell asleep while reading ff

11 - bfast is sponsored by bang esa’s wife. BP umum with bu ade. had nasi padang for lunch. talked about BL w nessa while we’re the only one upstairs lol. did some exercise together with ren ness. drank the last of my roti O coffee and shit you not, the headache vanished. did Prof’s PPT and sent one.

12 - KIA with bu mutiah and bu imas. ate at RM bu mamak with bu ade, teh ayi, mendel. we all wore black top and jeans for hari kesehatan nasional, so we did some ‘photoshoot’ and tiktok creating at puskesmas lol. bought ayam bakar together with renata.

13 - MTBS w mendel. met kak tania 2013 and her child who came for mantoux. turns out she lives in BMW. Prof called out of the blue and turns out there will be plenty of stuff that i have to make. juggled that call with meeting dr anita for my “ngamen” at klinik tri husada. ended the call with Prof in front of dr anita. Some introduction on the clinic. did not make it back to mess bcs its already 12 ish. hurriedly packed and showered to leave to jkt. waited for arimbi but a primajasa kb jeruk showed up so i tried that. attempted zoom with dr eva (in the bus) that ended due to terrible signal. it was raining in kb jeruk. ate seirockya extreme in puri. its goddamn delicious due to the cold hunger and fatigue. picked up a pepperoni pizza from pizza e birra. it rains when going to devi’s. met up with thal dajen lau racheel dev. played some games (splendor, sushi go, exploding kitten). ate martabak orins omg i miss it. slept over at devi’s place.

14 - off to AR at 9-ish. when i arrived, grandma was sleeping, bou lia was showering, and the others are in living world lmao. showered and basked the silence. ate mom’s spaghetti. mom just laughed when she saw my hair. ‘listened’ to APICD while playing twitter. bou lia bought me matcha xiboba! assessed om amin bcs he’s having tremor. just lazed in the house, basically. lost my mood of going to bdg bcs mom said we will just go ‘pulang hari’.

15 - off from home 5:33 and arrived at 7. mom made lots of frozen food that are ready to heat. posyandu with bu vivi in kebon dalem. there’s also reps from krakatau medika. lotss of laundry to do. so much that the machine can barely spin. read kaiju no 8. matcha latte.

16 - posbindu w nessa bu elis teh dina. Te tekwan and bacang made by bu kader. Had a good nap in pwkt. Got fissure in my inner mouth and it hurts huft. Tried to finish PPTs with near dates so i can moveon to the next work. Slept at 12ish.

17 - BP with bu ade. Sent the PPT to Prof. Can finally relax for a bit. Exercised to pamela reif's vids. Ordered wingstop. Read some fanfic and fell asleep aaaa syit did nothing today. I shouldve started literature searching

18 - PIS-PK in tegal bunder with teh nabs (who didnt bring her motorbike so its a good thing i did). back to mess and had some nap and lunch. shareloc at purwakarta. tried kopsus from kopi baja. taste kinda weird but the music playing is bomb (kurosuke, sore, sal, and some other chill vibes that just make me more sleepy). tried to search some stuff for the proposal. off to klinik tri husada. teteh2 bidan were very kind and welcoming. nisa chatted me and she said it was ok for me to come with them in bdg so yay. immediately bought travel ticket. was given nasgor, martabak and rujak jeruk bali.

19 - originally posyandu with teh Vivi, but it was cancelled so we went for home visit. It finished quickly yay. went to mess. relaxed, ate and packed. took maxim back to pwkt. nebeng zihan to go to damkar. took primajasa to jkt and read assorted wilderness along the way. waited for mom in puri and i bought jiwa toast (26k with gofood pickup) while waiting. arrived maghrib at home. zoom meeting w dr eva and kak rayhan. finished the assorted wilderness manhwa lol. fell asleep without even showering and still in my scrubs lmao

20 - showered. packed for bandung. left at 8 and arrived at almost 12. tried to finish up Prof’s PPT on the way. lunch at ibis trans studio. lamaran bang ido with teh ghina in buah batu. ate again there. rested in the hotel for a bit. ate at sangkan hurip 2, the same place as tafakur alam trip. it was as if there’s AC. back in the hotel at 10-ish pm and i got a room for myself. i laid there, sheet mask on. trying to relax and be grateful for the blessings in life. its really cold and cozy.

21 - breakfast in the hotel. packed my stuff. lunch at kampung daun. checked in at papandayan hotel, 2 km away from ibis. the family swam except for kak owi, bang ido, nisa and me. i relaxed in the reclining chair, taking in the pretty sky and chilly wind. the girls and i went to braga (tried sweet cantina ice cream), cici claypot and primarasa. bang ido was calling us asking if we need to be picked up lol.

22 - woke up at 5. prepared to leave. said goodbye. bang ido drove me to buah batu pool and waited until i can enter the Hiace. and then i left at 7. i was weeping on the way back thinking of kind people and great time and thought and contemplated that i wrote sumn on my tumblr. read love for sale on the way. arrived in mess at 12. it was raining a bit. tidied up my stuff. laid down and read Payback lol. napped. woke. ate. slept again. I should’ve did something productive aaaaaaaa its a constant struggle of mine.

23 - BIAS at sd purwakarta with bu sektah. injected 20 kids. finished at 10. cooked veggies and made matcha latte in mess. went back to pwkt. gave kue balok box to bu aroh. mendel and i made the poster for evapro cibeber. tried to get some progress on Prof’s S1 lecture

24 - BP umum with bang esa. bujing lia gojeked me janjiw matcha and toast. watched color me true. in denial to start dr Eva’s chapterbook.

25 - MTBS today. watched Color Me True. Rested a bit. off to klinik tri husada. there was a patient with hyperglycemic crisis. did some work on dr eva’s book so there’s that. not gonna change the draft for now.

26 - BP umum w nessa. did laundry. ate superbubur alone in MTBS. zoom meeting with Prof and HCRC. evening stroll with renata in the hidden part of palm hills. supposed to do PPT but i ended up sleeping

27 - my throat hurts when swallowing huft. BP umum w nessa again. watched The Witch. basically just laid down and slept. ate indomie. still havent started Prof’s PPT

28 - cannot bring myself to do my sunday run. finally pulled myself together and showered. basically started the day at noon lol. off to jannor. it was raining there. pulled some decent progress. went back when the rain stopped but it turns out it rains in simpang. continued the ppt. ok a liiittle bit more to go.

29 - KIA w bu sekta (who i wrongly thought was bu mutiah). asked for MP at pharmacy. got to finish the rest of the (eng) ppt. sent it to Prof. kanayam for lunch. napped again in mess. started translating the ppt to indo. it was a lot huft. finished it at 10-ish. continued the second half of The Witch.

30 - MTBS w bang esa. home visit with teh erlina to the twin babies i checked at posyandu a while back. one of the baby passed away last night. tried driving manual again with bang esa’s car. he was a patient instructor lol. duplicated the mess key. seblak for dinner to scratch my throat. i should’ve done something useful today but its a chatty night and suddenly its 8 pm lol. have to sleep a bit early.

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neopuff · 3 years

Text

why not im awake

1. why did you choose your url?

neopuff was created by 7 year old caroline its a combination of neopets + powerpuff girls. its still cute. i took this from a duck mutual so lettheladylead is obviously a ducktales reference

2. any side-blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

my current most active blog is my duck sideblog but i have an fma sideblog (rebeccacatalinas) that was very active before ducks and total drama, lolirock. some ask blogs. hmmm. some rp blogs i never used. and some other stuff

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

hmmm since early high school i believe. im gonna say 2009

4. do you have a queue tag?

i used to!!! it was just ‘look i have a queue’ but it never shows up anymore

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

cartoons. when i started blogging about cartoons people were not interested in talking about american cartoons except for a relatively small group of losers i had befriended. now everyone talks about american cartoons! its nice but i am always gonna have a sense of I Did It First about it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

here i have Dr. Orpheus because i adore Dr. Orpheus. my duck blog has Dickie because i love Dickie

7. why did you choose your header?

i love frogs. and because i love scroldie!

8. what’s your post with the most notes?

damn uhhhh. maybe that clip from grim adventures of billy and mandy?? thats has a couple hundred thousand i believe. my most popular duck post is just a doodle of goldie hanging out with the kids

9. how many mutuals do you have?

great question. i do not know

10. how many followers do you have?

on here i have a lil less than 9000 and i do believe they are mostly bots or dead blogs! duck blog is a lil less than 2000

11. how many people do you follow?

350-ish

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

yes everything i post is shitty

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

a lot

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

lolololol. if anyone still follows me from back then they know i used to love to argue but now i just block everyone

15. how do you feel about “you need to reblog this” posts?

i dont think theres ever been a post like that on my blog for good reason

16. do you like tag games?

17. do you like ask games?

yeeeeea

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

i have some mutuals who have art thats gone viral but idk if theyd be considered tumblr famous

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

i do and i think she is very aware by this point B)

#carro does a meme

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sakura-boi-san · 5 years

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Thoughts day 2

I dont know why but this week is being really diffiucly for me. I layed in bed most of last night somehow keeping my head screwed on during an intense sort of emotional conversation with someone ive started to really care about. were ok, and im glad i still have her but it was just a bit difficult. I laid awake thinking of different ways i can bind my chest and then getting depressed because my chest is so big ill never be able to fully compress it, but im still gonna try. I have some KT tape on order which should be arriving tomorrow so hopefully i can bind my chest for pride on saturday. Its gonna be my first pride, and my first time binding my chest, im excited but also terrified. this weather is making me so depressed and i keep just randomly crying, i was going to go out earlier with just my shirt buttoned up in the middle, but my mum and nan said i was too fat for that, but i done it anyway and got halfway to the train station and made my nan take me to asda so i could buy a new t shirt to change into so that my femeninity wouldnt be on show. speaking of asda, whilst i was in there waiting to pay this woman called me “young lady” and its just made me so triggered since. like it set of my anxiety and then this man started talking to me telling me to go ahead of him in the queue and then got salty with me when i refused and said id feel bad if i pushed in, after than this I was just surrounded by some oldish people jsut staring at me and glaring, i get that i have rainbow hair but its honestly no reason for you to be staring at me. and then there was the train, it was ok going to bury, but on the way back i dont think ive ever been watched and stared at so much by one person in my life, what made it worse is that i left my headphones in the car so for the first time in over a year i went out wihtout my headphones and honestly it was awful, idk if my anxiety and paranoia was higher on the train because of the heat or because i didnt have my headphones, i hate not having my headphones wiht me, i use them to block out the sounds of all the people and the noises of the environment that make me anxious and honestly it was horrible without them and i hope to god im not an idiot and end up doing it again. at the moment ive ended up walking round my family home in my underwear and ive been downstairs once and had comments form both my mum and my nan about my weight, at that moment i didnt care cause i am literally melting but sitting down now and writing this and seeing my stomach like those comments are killing me and not really helping my urges of self harm. but this situation at the moment the conversation, it jsut make me think of what was said to me before christmas about why B left me. my mum liked to tell me how much she liked B and just general stuff about how she was great, but then i think of the other stuff like, oh its no wonder she left you, your gonna end up on your own anyway, no ones ever going to want to marry you. it just eats at me, because everyone i like/love/have feelings for always jsut leaves me. B blamed me for everything that was wrong with her, she blamed me for her 3 suicide attempts and just her MH in general, i know it wasnt my fault but it just gets to me cause i adored her and done everything for her but still wasnt enough. my MH always holds me back in some way shape or form and im sick of it. I came out as Non-Binary nearly 2 months ago now and its been a bit easier since, but also not really, it makes me think of the 2/3 years that i had been regressing it maybe even longer to be honest. A lot of the regressing was due to B, at this point i was kind of debating whether i was transgender or not (honestly im still debating but yknow) and i would ask her what would happen if i was and she would just saty that shed leave me because shes not into males and shes only into females, and i think that jsut scared me right back to not being happy and i think it was at that point that i started getting depressed again to be honest. I just want people to accept me for me and not question the way that i am feeling whether its about myself or towards someone else. im a very emotional person and this just makes me more emotional and make the urge to self harm even greater. She tells me Im doing so well and that i shouldnt break that streak but honestly i dont know how much longer i can hold out because that urge is there, and once youve got that itch, its hard to get rid off wihtout satisfying it.

25-07-2019

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sh-lan · 7 years

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OMFG LAST QUARTER EVER + some spring break stuff???

Took a weekend off of life Retail therapy at its finest today Even though new jeans were overdue

It’s crazy how it still came I guess it’s a force of nature But omg it’s gonna be here on the concert T^T

This nerd would have mitsuha’s theme on his playlist smh #nochu

April 2nd, 2017 BTS Wings Tour I still can’t believe it happened I’ve been awake since 8am lol and it’s like 1:54am and i’m still trying to process and remember everything that happened today It felt like a dream! I can’t believe I saw them in real life. ohmygod Hands down, easily one of the best day of this week - if not this entire year so far holy shit will continue this tomorrow as i reminisce ok but one thing i noticed is that jungkook’s thighs are actually so real like wtf? shookt EDIT: lol i never finished this but oh well

oop i just bought more rings goodbye money

my charger broke gg time to get another one

I have a newfound appreciation for the color pink or more like my appreciation for pink is coming back

When you get anxious because bts hasnt posted on twitter for 3 days but then you also know they’re resting and that they deserve this break

SPRING QUARTER LEGGO tu/th schedule let’s hope this all works well keke

week 1 recap tuesday - sees everybody in freaking AB LOL sees harry after walking out of my tdpw sees alana and dylan outside my global health class which alana is also taking, and becca and tanya lOL goes to cogs 122 to find chen screaming my name - also vania and stella <3 last class is normal - with nobody in management BUT LOL LEIGHTON ADDED THE CLASS ON THURSDAY HAHA there’s also this girl in my tdpw class who looks like lindsay lohan and her name is also lindsey but with an e cause i saw it on the email lol not a stalker

Decided to gel nails it out friday of week 1 whut whut

First attempt at 양념치킨~

been using the soundtrack of your name this past week to get over pcd it’s been a week and i still haven’t recovered T^T

went to kbbq with harry! lol week 1 sunday started at manna….having an adventure in between at manna keke “started here and ending it here?” LOL

currently craving anything strawberry

don’t understand why i need to have my email as a send&receive in order to sms to work on my laptop bb why are you being stubborn when you’ve been working fine all this time

under yuri’s recommendation, i microwaved my coffee because it was lukewarm and she called me extra LOL

i’m getting nervous about a presentation when i shouldn’t be because ?? my AB service leader self is like completely gone i wanna crawl into a hole

i just finished season 2 and 3 of htgawm in less than a week… how they gonna do season 4 i wonder

Week 2 thursday I was actually really looking forward to class today Also my rings came! Though were they worth the $50….not so sure Were they cute? Yes But not as cute as the other one T^T So i mustnt give in to temptations nowww

I found out what matcha powder mom uses to make their matcha latte Cappuccine frappe mix But it’s sadly not on amazon ):

This new tumblr function is really inconvenient cause i cant tell how many thing i have on queue brcause i have to keep switching blogs -_-

Han came to visit! Friday Papa johns Saturday Snooze brunch Infinitea Abeh hangout In n out Sunday Aquarium! Koon thai Ramen yamadaya Boba bar and then i drove him to irvine where we got coco curry! and then i drove back and he bought me milk tea with pudding

Had an epiphany It’s not anenome It’s anemone

Omg but like why dont people call spoiler alerts “spoilerts”

Started 13 reasons why with Han Finished it, tuesday week 3 Hmmm How to feel

finished strong woman park hyung sik is so…adorable? IT’S SO WEIRD. HIS AEGYO LEVEL IS INSANE

When you realize that 둘! 셋! is probably the title of the fan song because that’s what BTS always say when they introduce themselves And that BTS + ARMY forever ㅠㅠㅠㅠ I’m not crying r u crying ;___;

어떻게

Omg when you wake up for reorientation and jungkook does lives <3

highkey need to crawl into a hole tbh

You know what i want to do? Go to an olive garden Even though i know it’ll taste bad lol

Not really sure what i want… But i dont want my 4 years to be a waste ):

i….skipped out on an interview today was it the right choice i may never know

most recent ep of snk got me fucked up SOMEONE TELL ME WHAT YMIR AND CHRISTA’S RELATIONSHIP IS WHO IS CHRISTA

Lol i hella bombed my quiz GOODBYE GONNA P/NP HAHA

Week 4 weekend Fuck me in the ass i twisted my ankle and i am in irvine had to pop an advil and cruise control all the way back thank god there weren’t many cars lol 0/10 do not recommend

Slept on the couch the past two days to elevate my ankle Glad to be back in bed But i think i might be a little…sick? Fuck Need to grocery shop

Dammit i got called for jury duty

Ok but i twisted my ankle and two recruiters emailed me back the next day so was it really a loss

Week 5 i’m sick…

just watched 5 centimeters per second a little sadder than i was an hour ago

fuck i forgot that my jeans are new and i washed it and my pink shirt is ruined fml triggered

thursday after rolling over ma ankle i can finally see that it is a lil swollen and there is bruising LOL also saw an owl at school today and a bunny while leaving to go to meeting

week 5 tuesday saw two bunnies on my way out to school

I just saw two hummingbirds! 😍

I cant believe yuri and i finished twenty SMH

ABCD today Some qualitee photos were taken Im tired now

Really debating the 4th term

third day of back pain flexibility dying wow what is happening???

…..army 4th term is $75 cries EDIT: it’s $66 because i forgot exchange rate but still cri EDIT EDIT: it’s $45 if i ship it to taiwan - seriously really highkey considering that now oh dear

bro i think i just experienced katawaredoki whut

i keep thinking that my ankle is ok but i always end up doing something that ends up hurting it like hella im

Week 6 thursday last leadership meeting one of my favorite meetings because whoa INFORMATION!? it was nice wanted to discuss and add in my two cents but i honestly just wasn’t able to wrap my head around everything loool then…we decided to go to PB LOL chen, jeong, yuri, justin and his friends (including nicole, nicole, sandy) and then more people. we also met leslie, brett, dexter, allison, kenny, peter, abby, ben…and more? at pb lolol and also we saw miguel and anthony - it was like a freshman year flashback tbh lOL went to vallartas after and then came home to shower and finally sleep at 3:30am wot is life NEXT DAY ADVENTURES - leighton and i finally pulled out the weeds and now we’re tired

salty that i wasnt invited to the birthday celebration, not that i would really make the trip per say but wtf gurl

I just had this really sad thought that i’m probably never gonna ever get to know bts like friends y i do dis to meself

Wait so like i got sick while at clew’s and it didnt happen until week 5 and so i was sick from week 5 through week 6 and at this one point i couldnt taste my food it was terribad

May 12th I bought the membership LOL Hopefully it mails it correctly back to Taiwan ☺️

im dumb i didn’t save the color i wanted for my hair

omg the song vania recommended to me a few days ago was recommended by jungkook like a year or so ago on twitter lOOOOL

Just tryna level up here :<

Struggles when places are in the east coast and phone calls are early in the fckin morning

Note to self: Ridge cut potato chips with sea salt is good for stuff with dip Ridge cut salt and pepper is good for regular eating, but gets salty at the bottom LOL EDIT: per vania’s suggestion, i salted and peppered my chips

watching jungkook’s vlive AND HE JUST HARMONIZED WITH HIMSELF IM DED

Just woke up from a dream where someone hurt my brother/nade him fall and i was so angry? Was about to go ape shit on that person im ded lol who is rhis angry me

Rewatched and finished reply 1997 Wow what is life when yoon jae is life But also what is life when your idols are life Daily reminder to not be as obsessed as shiwon LOLOL

i can’t go to giraffage and elephante anymore im on the otherhand i get to go to virginia???

lol but like i haven’t been writing drafts because i often write in my notebook now but here are some updates - my nails are constantly chipping - forgot about grad photos that clashed with the weekend han is coming - im ded because i probs won’t have a weekend to myself until week 10 - struggles to figure out graduation things - paid my $54 to walk #mostexpensivewalkever

LAST LEADERSHIP MEETING (turnover) what am i going to do with my thursday nights now? it’s been a good run

Jealous of the staff that holds and records the camera during vlives? LOL who am i

When you forget that jeon jungkook did taekwondo before Hnnnngh

i just reaffirmed? or discovered? that i don’t like fruity pebbles o_o

Trying to think of a thing to put on my grad cap Tis hard Let’s make a list: 花樣年華 Strong power thank you You never walk alone Ireumeun deborah LOL Lol omg but why is yoongi’s “cheater never win but i just graduated” quote so appropriate for grad EXTRA + ORDINARY* Lost my way/found my way* Click clack to the bang Smile with me, cry with me, fly with me (you make me begin, you made me again) Ctrl+c, ctrl+v do you know “____” (hci? annyeonghasaeyo) To lose your path, Is the way to find that path* 꽃길만 걷자* Let’s fly with our beautiful wings in 2017 EDIT: i’m too lazy, i didn’t do anything to my cap lOL

Im shookt cause namjoon doesnt say 이제 feelin the vibe. HE SAYS IF YOU FEELIN THE VIBE. I feel…betrayed

Non whitewashed bangtan gives me life

May 21st My first haircut since… Since i got it cut over the summer?????

Bought me stole and tassel today Smh that i cant grab my muir tickets?? Cause i ordered all commencwment tickets SMH

Lowkey afraid of not passing mgt LOL

Omfg i knew we were going to have a pop quiz. It really happened

nicole and evelyn commented that they liked my hair and audrey and malia agreed i gotta say i’m so glad people remember me in my tdpw class LOOL

Cant get the seventeen song outta my head Shookt by the choreography

Y'all im so fckin shookt First the chainsmokers post on twitter like “see you in the summer” Then they win the BBMAs like a boss Then you see them on halsey + steve aoki’s snapchat Next things you know steve aoki is postin shit like “BTS x AOKI COMING SOON” Im SCREAMING

Yo my lyft driver dropped some knowledge again and told me his life story lmao he was a police officer in chicago and he was forced to retired and then ?? after chasing down a rapist and getting into a fight, he was seriously injured. but his dad (a judge or someone powerful idk) forced him out of retirement by telling everyone to not give him his benefits and shit and i was like. whoa bro. slow down? “embrace the unknown”

I finally tried the coconut black tie at peet’s 10/10 a mistake

Okay but can we talk about how on point everybody looked in the comeback Esp wonwoo and dk But also vernon 👌🏼

First time in virginia/ being so close to washington dc! Whoa Also gonna pass by texas too :O Knocking some states off my list

I WITNESSED MY FIRST CIRCLE RAINBOW THINGY ON THE PLANE FROM VIRGINIA TO DALLAS TODAY HOLY IT WAS V COOL

i don’t know why i never realized this about myself before but i need to be/live by a body of water at all times or i won’t feel comfortable this is weird

i told han i joined the fanclub and he like died for like 2 seconds lOL

ok but like i bought a carton of eggs and 6 or 7 of them were double yolks and i have 2 more eggs left im starting to think i’m eating some weird hybrid chickens EDIT: those last two eggs were both double yolks. this was a wild adventure

omg i knew that the TA MOST LIKELY RYAN WOULDNT UNDERSTAND OUR IDEA JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS MISINTERPRETS THEM??? like what kind of constructive feedback is that if he doesn’t understand what we’re trying to do im… sigh

Already excited about the festa But like omfg they released the schedule today And just WE DONT TALK ANYMORE PT 2?? SO FAR AWAY FEATURING JIN AND JUNGKOOK? Im IM SCREAMING also sad but the radio show is right before my finals gotta prioritize, no bts fo me ;__;

after waiting two weeks, my application to get leveled up was rejected *cries* time to try again! *^*

okay but really feeling seventeen’s song as well as suran’s song like hIGHKEY

i finally got my commencement tickets the third time that i went to the bookstore third time’s the charm right? also whytf is the parking pass for all campus commencement so huge -_-

hnngh omg that feel when you have hella shit to do TPDW1 final play due week 9 friday because we won’t have class at all on week 10 then there’s the presentation (elevator pitch) that happened today week 9 thursday but also just hauling ass on things for A5 tbh what is this what is everything wot is the meaning of life when vania and i stay up till 3:30am lol… and then there’s me. tired af but didn’t sleep til 4:30 anyways cause i’m a dumbass l e l let’s not be a potato this last week k?

burger king in pc has its own free wifi called WhopperWifi and it’s so much faster than school wifi this is revolutionary

week 9 weekend to irvine irritated on the way over irritated on the way back lol wot is life i should’ve just turned around to go back home

NO TDPW1 WEEK 10 WOOT wow that means i won’t have class until 2pm whoa

“why are you reading math formulas” - yuri i was actually reading bts profiles lOLOL she just dissed their handwritings

Just spent the past hour or so looking at kakao friends merchandise And discovering that apeach is a genetically modified peach lol

that moment when you ask for a png file but get a jpg

dyed my hurr twice today for a darker shade still not what i was going for but this will do for now

Omfg i slept through my alarm until 1pm Goodbye study time?? Also omg i like it pt 2 video SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY KNOW WE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS. HAD IT SINCE BAEPSAE DAYS. BUT DIDNT RELEASE IT. Freakin bighit

My request to level up on the fancafe has once again been rejected ); EDIT: oMFG IT’S BECAUSE I DIDN’T CHANGE THE SETTING TO SOMETHING im screaming, what a first world problem THIRD TIME’S THE CHARM AMIRITE

Doesnt feel like it… But thursday was my last time going to class…pretty much like ever unless i go to more school Holy shit

Oh man I didnt think i’d have THAT much shit. But…i think i have A LOT of shit….

saw bts MBIT and i was like omfg! knew that i was INFJ but took the test again yesterday and ended up INFP….but just barely P so i think i’ll stick with INFJ lol EDIT: i took the test again today because vania and yuri were talking about it again and i am still INFP…and more P this time. SO LOST. WHO AM I

put my things up for sale i forgot that i might need my light el oh el crying on the inside cause i want to keep my desk but then i’m selling it off because i don’t think i’ll have space for it and i just CRYING ON THE INSIDE BECAUSE IT’S BEEN WITH ME FOR SO LONG T^T

ON ANOTHER NOTE. THIRD TIME IS THE CHARM LEVELED UP ON JUNE 12TH AT ONE SOMETHING AM

JUNE 12TH FINISHED MY FIRST AND LAST FINAL I AM OFFICIALLY DONE WITH MY UNDERGRADUATE CAREER??? also lmao i spent 45 min on the final wot

i dyed my hair darker but now it’s become lighter? wait wtf wait no go back EDIT: wait no it went back to being dark? is this a thing? when i get exposed to the sun it gets lighter and when i sleep it gets darker??? smh at light for fckin with me

so i set an alarm to watch the bts home party last night for like 3:57am and i didn’t hear it but i guess i kinda did cause i woke up at 4:05am and was like ??? i decided to watch a bit of it but ended up streaming the whole thing until 5:45am looooool also watched the numbers grow from the 500,000 all the way to 2,000,000 and then 3,000,000? it was nuts

omfg all these years of rereading chapters and only now do i realize that i could save bookmarks on mangahere *slaps forehead*

Moment of silence cause i sold my desk that’s accompanied me for almost 10 years It even has battlescars (aka X marks by Jacky, 3 of them) LOL memories ;___; Oh and i guess my chair too

lol was gonna sell that yamaha guitar for $45 but it’s going for like $190 on ebay?? so ima just bring it home

finals week hangout list: tuesday: fud with kimberly, peyton, harry wednesday: more fud with stephanie and ellius thursday: KBBQ FOR LUNCH with jeong, justin, yuri, harry LOOOOL

and so...that’s the end of the quarter. my last quarter of school ever (unless i decide to go to more school...which seems unlikely as of right now) it feels weird.................................. but! onto graduation~ looking forward to being reunited with family and whatever’s gonna hit me in the face LOL

and with that goodbye undergrad, hello world ㅇㅅㅇ

#mumble mumble #last #spring quarter mumbles #debs in college #homg #it is over

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