#-''wait hang on why should i care. i love being a weirdo on the internet why should i let my anxieties stop me'' | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yandere-ac · 4 years

Note

Hey buddy, do you know a channel named Etce? It's a guy that makes gameplays of Animal Crossing, and his favorite is Maple. It's so funny how he sounds low-key like a yandere for her, with made me imagine what it would be if we, the darlings were villagers, and maybe the yandere villagers played the role of humans trying desperately to cage us in their islands lol (like Audie being human and trying to take you with her) sorry, it's just so shitpost idea I hoped it made you laugh a bit tho :D

Yandere Human Audie x Villager Reader x Yandere Human Raymond

Rescue me

Another day in hell. That’s pretty much how life was for you nowadays. Each day you wished it would be your last and everyday just got worse and worse. Even if you wanted it all to end, you couldn’t. But let’s start from the beginning shall we? Your name is Y/N. You are a F/A villager who, unbeknownst to you, was a REALLY popular villager. People had online groups talking about just how badly they wanted you, people drew tons of art of you, some really cute, other a bit...questionable. Some people were even selling you for millions of bells. Of course, it all started small. So when a moderately big group of people on the internet started to talk about how cute you were and how they wanted you, you didn’t put much thought into it. You were very flattered at their compliments and left it at that.

However, once it came out that you would be signing up for the nook inc island getaway package, all hell broke loose. It was the day before the move when you decided that, why not check out the little fan group you had. As much as you hated to admit it, you did get a small boost in confidence from all the nice people who seemingly liked you. And right now you were pretty nervous about the whole move. So you quickly typed in your name into your phone and searched up. Your eyes widened at what you saw once you hit search.

947 619 results in 0,8921 seconds. What the hell?! Why did your name have so many results?! This...this had to be some weird coincidence, I mean, maybe you just shared a name with a popular actor who just blew up. Yeah that’s probably it. But all rational thought left you head once you saw that the little group was now the top result, and the little group wasn’t so little anymore. No, quite the opposite. It had gone from maybe about 5000 people to around 230 000 people. Each and every one of them, praising you, talking about how much they loved you. Some of them even wrote out detailed descriptions of what they would do with you if they found you, things that made your face flush scarlet red, why in the world would someone write that?! What reason did they have?! You felt disgust and discomfort flow throughout your body. Now feeling even worse than how you felt before! Should you even move?! What if you encountered one of these weirdos?!

Yet, you still went. You couldn’t exactly cancel your flight now could you? You’ve already sold your home and you couldn’t buy it back. You just hoped that you didn’t get paired up with a crazy person. And still, it would seem like luck wasn’t on your side.

Knock knock knock

Oh god.

“Y/N! Good morning my sweetheart!” And so, it began. You turned to look at the human in front of you, trying to push down your instincts to whimper and tremble. You had found it easier when she believed you weren’t horrified of her. Last time you shook in her presence she came very close to you and asked what was wrong. When you told her she was scaring you she simply picked you up and carried you to her house. There she spent the next 3 hours spooning and cuddling you, whispering various things in your ears all while you quivered in her arms, terrified of what she would do. Who was this woman? Why it was the island representative, Audie. The girl had long orange hair that went down to her waist and blonde bangs. On her head rested a pair of white sunglasses with purple glass, she never really used them for sun protection so you guessed it was for the aesthetic. She had yellow eyeshadow and winged eyeliner, bringing out her intense blue eyes. Eyes that would strike fear and dread throughout your entire body once they made contact with yours. She was wearing the same tropical muumuu that she always wore. Audie was looking at you with a big smile on her face. You would be lying if you didn’t say that she was a very beautiful girl. But all that beauty was overshadowed by a possessive and clingy nature. She was crazy, she saw you as hers and would make sure you belonged to her and her only. She seemed normal enough when you, her and a third islander moved to the island together. A little strange but still very bubbly and happy to be around you. You probably should’ve realised that she was one of your fans sooner than you did.

She would get annoyed when you hung out with the other resident, Kevin, a yellow bird. Soon you started to see her hitting him with a net, telling him to get out of the island along with other horrible things. And you realised that the more you tried to comfort and hang out with him the more Audie would hit him. You didn’t know what to do. You would report this behaviour to Isabelle but she told you that there was nothing she could do since Audie was the island rep. She was untouchable, and so, you could only helplessly stand back as Kevin was being harassed. You knew if you tried to intervene, Audie might do something more drastic. The whole situation was bad and apparently even Tom Nook has privately told Kevin that it might be for the best if he moved out.

All of the abuse led to Kevin finally moving out. You felt bad for the poor guy. But you were even more scared of Audie. What was truly scary was the fact that Audie had acted nothing but sweet around you. Giving you cute outfits and accessories and furniture. In a way it scared you more than if she would be hitting you as well. Because she was honestly terrifying when she acted nice around you. She would be unaware of how strongly she came off while near you. As a result she would usually be oblivious to your fear of her, which would result in very little personal space and a lot of touching. Not anything inappropriate, no, touching your shoulder, twiddling with your hair, stroking your arm, even giving big hugs that would shake you to your core. She was so much bigger than you, so to have her overpower you like that, you felt completely helpless in her strong grip. She could do anything and you would be powerless to stop it. And that’s why she was so much scarier when nice. She would practically drown you in affection that you did not want. Yet she either didn’t care or didn’t notice.

Going back to present day however. Audie was now walking towards you and you could feel yourself Yelp as she grabbed your hand and kissed you on the cheek. “H-Hello sweetheart...” you didn’t want to call her that, it’s literally that you couldn’t NOT say that. She changed your catchphrase to “Honey” and your nickname for her to “sweetheart”. So you had no choice but to call her that. You could feel your hands start to shake slightly and you tried to make it stop, but that only made you tense up in your whole body as trying to calm your nerves only made them worse. Audie was quick to notice this. “Oh? Why Y/N, your shaking. Is something wrong?” What do you say what do you say? “N-No I’m fine! I uh...I’m just a little cold that’s all...” you probably should have said something else as once she heard this, Audies eyes lit up and instantly you knew you weren’t gonna like this. “Awe you poor thing. Here let me help you!” And so, she lifted you up in her arms and carried you to your bed, where she proceeded to spoon you. At this point you figured you might as well not hold back, as long as she thought you were just cold and not afraid. And so, your whole body started to tremble. No matter how many times she did this, it would never be any less scary. “Oh my. Your shaking very bad. You must be absolutely freezing! Looks like we’ll be here for a while.” Shit.

But this sort of suffocating intimacy was not even the worst part of Audie. As island representative, she was the only one who could build and terraform the island. And she used that for bad things. The first thing she did when she found out she could move houses was to move yours next to her. After that, she completely surrounded both of your houses with a fence. Audie could exit the “yard” anytime, all she needed to do was pick up a part of the fence and put it down. But you, you were stuck. You could not get out and could only watch the island from inside your little “enclosure”. She also started to decide what you should wear. Sometimes she would give you cute clothing, things that you actually enjoyed wearing and felt comfortable with. Other times...other times she would give you skimpy outfits that barely covered you and made you feel very uncomfortable. At times like that you felt grateful no one else could see you. It was only you and Audie. But that didn’t exactly make you feel good. Anytime you wore them, Audie would squeal and blush and inspect you. She would walk circles around you, like a wolf circling a terrified bunny. Just waiting to pounce on it and sink it’s teeth into the poor critter. Luckily, Audie has never done anything...like that to you. She at least respected you enough to not force you to do anything. And that was at least a comfort for you. It was one of the very few comfort you had.

However, you weren’t ALWAYS trapped. Sometimes, Audie would hold a strange sort of...event? It’s very weird. She would open the fence and let you wonder around but shortly after you could see people arriving through the airport and drop off hundreds of Nook mile tickets. It would be insane to see how much they would give Audie. And at first you didn’t know why, you were aware of the fact that some people sold their villagers, but from what you knew, Audie didn’t do that. It was only later that you realised why they were here. They were here for you. They would pay up to 200 nmt just so they could get an hour of talking with you. You thought that was really weird, but to be honest, you didn’t mind it at all. It was the only time you could walk around the island and you could even talk to other people. Those other people being the paying humans of course. But it was nice, you enjoyed talking to some of them. You didn’t particularly like the humans that would only gush about you, telling you how much they loved you, and only asking you about stuff over and over again. It was just tiresome and very annoying. But every now and again there would be the humans that would talk to you like a normal person. Those were your favourites. Out of everyone, three humans stood out to you.

The first one was a girl. She was pretty short, maybe a few inches taller than you. She had light brown skin with freckles and blond hair. Her eyes were big and said hair was tied up in two pigtails. She was wearing a beige layered tank dress that looked very cute. Her name was Coco. She used to see you all the time. She was a frequent costumer, but then one day she just...stopped coming. Maybe she ran out of tickets, maybe she just lost interest, or maybe she found or bought her own Y/N. Yeah, that was a concept that made you really freaked out. The fact that there was apparently a bunch of copies of you out there. It happens to everyone who buys the nook inc getaway package. Either way, it didn’t matter. She stopped showing up, and you never saw her again.

The second one was a tall chubby man with yellow curly hair and a brown moustache. His skin tone was a bright shade of yellow. His eyes were kinda narrow but you could still see his very prominent blue eyes. He was always wearing a red ringmasters coat, always wearing it with such pride, you thought it was very cute. His name was Chops. Chops was always very nice to you. He would treat you well and act like a gentleman, sometimes it would come off as a bit weird but you knew his intentions were good. But after one visit where he asked if you would ever like to see his island, you never saw him again. And you were really excited as well...you thought that you could get away from this place but...apparently not. You didn’t believe that he just stopped going here like Audie said. By now you were smart enough to know that Audie wouldn’t let ANYTHING like that fly. You see, she kept a close eye anytime someone was there to visit. It was all part of the deal. They would get to come and hang out with you just as long as she was there with you. She would of course stand back a little, giving you and the customer some space. But never the less, she would be there, watching.

And the third person was a tall skinny guy named Raymond. Out of all three, Raymond was probably your favourite. He was around the same age as you, maybe a year or two older. He was very pale, you got the impression that he wasn’t exactly the type of person to tan. He would wear a grey waistcoat with a blue tie. His hair was blond and very neatly kept, he was very adamant about being precise. He wasn’t a neat freak per say. But he wanted things to stay orderly. But one of the most captivating things about him was his eyes. He had heterochromia, his right eye was brown and his left eye was green. On top of his eyes were a pair of glasses. And although he himself had said that he didn’t like his eyes, you thought they were beautiful. And anytime you would say that, you could see his face heat up as he muttered a thank you. You really liked Raymond, and you got the feeling he liked you as well. You liked him a lot more than Audie and you hoped she didn’t figure that out. Because once that happened, Raymond would probably get thrown out and not be allowed to see you.

Luckily, you don’t think she suspected anything. She seemed to trust Raymond since she left you two alone when he was over for no extra charge. It was amazing really, you don’t know how he did it but he apparently got her to trust him. And you were grateful for that. Because you and Raymonds conversations were usually the most genuine out of all your interactions.

“Hey Raymond? Could I ask you something?” You asked the guy sitting next to you. The two of you were sitting under a cherry tree near by the beach. He looked at you with a smirk. “Of course you can! You can tell me anything my dear Y/N.” As he said this, you could feel a smile form on your lips. He was always so sincere with you. “Okay so...how many tickets have you spent visiting me? A lot right? Why wouldn’t you just save up those tickets to buy or go for a villager hunt to find a copy of me? Wouldn’t that be easier than spending so much just to get an hour of speaking time with me?” This so something that had bugged you for a while. You didn’t understand this man. Why would he spend so much just to talk to you? Raymond let out a deep chuckle at this, pushing up his glasses on the bridge of his nose slightly before looking at you.

“It’s because, my dear Y/N. I don’t want a “copy of you”. I want to hang out with the real you, you who are living on this island. You mean a lot to me, and to see you not remember me...well it wouldn’t feel right...” he said. You could feel tears prickle your eyes. Did he really mean that? Did he care so much about you? “Woah woah what’s wrong?! Was it something I sa-“ before he could finish that sentence, he could feel two small arms wrap around his waist. You were now crying into his chest, with him awkwardly trying to comfort you by patting your back. “Hey now, don’t cry. It’s okay-“ “No no it’s not! You don’t understand!” But as you said this, Raymond pulled you out from his chest, grabbing your shoulders as he stroked one of your cheeks with his hand. “But I wanna understand! Please Y/N! If there’s something going on, I want to know so I can help! Just...please...tell me what’s going on? I care about you Y/N...” as he said that you could feel your heart skip a beat. Should you....

And so, you told Raymond about the whole thing. You told him about Audie, about Kevin, about the strict rules. About everything. You tried to keep your breath steady but it was hard as all your emotions spilled out. Once you were done it was easy to see the disgust that lingered on Raymond’s face. You didn’t blame him. It wasn’t exactly the lightest thing to process. But after a few minutes of silence, Raymond grabbed your shoulder and looked at you with a serious yet sad look. “Y/N I-.....I’m so sorry....I didn’t know how bad Audie was and I-....I’ve been supporting her...I’ve been paying her nmt just so I could see you. I’ve been giving her the satisfaction and encouraged by directly contributing to-“ before he could continue you grabbed his hands. Raymond looked down at you and got the message. Right now there were more important things to dissolve rather than blaming someone. “Okay okay...you’re right. Well what can I do? Do you need anything?” He asked you. You didn’t know. Should you...yes. “Take me away from here.” You said short and simply. “What?” Raymond responded, making sure what he heard was real and not something he imagined. “Take me away from this hellhole! I don’t wanna live here! To Audie, I’m just some toy for her enjoyment. I don’t want to live here! I don’t want to live here! I don’t-“ Raymond quickly pulled you in for another hug. Both to comfort you, and to silence you. He didn’t want Audie to hear... “Okay okay. Shhh, it’s okay. I’m here Y/N....” Raymond got quiet for a few seconds, almost like he’s considering something. “Come to my island. You’ll be safe there and I’m sure my residents would love you.” He told you, gently stroking your cheek. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you so much!” “Of course Y/N. I promise you. I WILL get you out of here...”

And so, the two of you started planning. Planning on what to do, planning on how you’d do it. There was barely any time left for Raymond’s visits so he agreed to come back the next day. You and Audie waved goodbye to him as he entered the airplane and left the island. Audie grabbed your hand as she looked down at you. “Did you guys have fun? What did you guys talk about?” She was acting and talking very sweetly but you knew what that question meant. It wasn’t “I’m interested in what you discussed” it was “I’m paranoid and need to know what you were doing without me.” But by now you were used to these questions and knew how to get around them. “Oh you know, just life in general. He talked a little about how his island is going and I talked about my life. I told him about the delicious peach pie you made last week.” Any and all suspicion that Audie had melted away once you aged her a compliment. You knew that if you ever wanted to change the subject or get away with something, you needed to sprinkle in a compliment. And just like always, Audie let all of her guard down. “Aww! That’s so sweet of you! I love you so much!!!” And just like most times, she wrapped you up in a big hug. You tried to steady your breathing as you responded to her. “I love you to...” and you stayed like that for a couple of minutes before Audie released you. “Well I just wanted to say, this was the last visit! I’ve got so many Nook mile tickets now that I don’t even need any more! So you don’t have to interact with these weirdos anymore! And guess what? The first thing I’m gonna do is fix up our home. Maybe I can convince good old Tom Nook to give us that big Villa so we can live in the same house! Imagine it, we could hare the bed, I could hold you every night. We would eat breakfast, lunch and dinner together! I could spend my mornings and nights with you! Oh just thinking about it is making me all giddy!”

As she said this, you could feel your whole body tense up. Your eyes went wide and you felt all the air escape your lungs. You wanted to cry, to scream, to yell out for help. But only meekly whimpers came out of your throat. “Oh darling, you’re so happy you can hardly breathe! Well don’t you worry dear. There’ll be plenty of celebration time later!” “N-N-NONONO! H-Hold up i-why...why can’t we celebrate a little tonight? W-why don’t I...sleep at your house tonight? I-I mean if we’re gonna sleep together, we might as well start getting more accustomed to it...” as you said this, you could see Audies face turn into a shade of dark red. It seemed the two of you had very different ideas of what you would be doing once you shared a bed. Of course, nothing happened later that night, just you asleep in Audies arms. Her grip on you was very strong. To get out, you had to slither your way away from her, it took about 30 minutes to do this as any time you made a slight movement, Audie started groaning and moving. You had to be careful, if she woke up it was game over. Once you were free of her grip, you carefully searched the whole room for her phone, making sure not to step on any creaking floor boards in the process. After about 3 minutes, you found it lying on the nightstand next to Audie. So carefully, you approached it and picked it up from the table. Now walking out of the room, preparing to rummage through it. You entered all messaging apps and looked through them all to find Raymond. Finally you found a conversation between Audie and Raymond on an app called “Discord”. You wasted no time, quickly typing in a message for him. You just hoped he would be awake at this time...

“Raymond? Is this you? It’s Y/N. I’ve taken Audies phone. She’s planning on stopping the visits and she’s gonna limit my freedom even further. Please I need your help.” As you sent this you felt even more panic rush over you. The reality of the situation hasn’t quite settled in yet but now? Now you truly realised what could happen if Raymond didn’t help you. Your hands started to shake and your eyes filled with tears, it was getting harder and harder to breathe quietly. You needed to get out of the house before Audie heard you! But just as you opened the door you could feel the phone vibrate. It was Raymond! Before you opened the text, you quickly went out of the house, making sure to carefully close the door. After that you ran towards the big fence, it was higher than your entire body. But you couldn’t stay here. Looking around you saw a tree stump with a sharp golden axe lodged into it. Should you? You have no other choice! So you ran towards the axe, picking it up with struggle. And then, with all your might, all the pent up fear and anger, you struck the fence with force. After maybe two swings you had broken up a small part that you could fit through. And so, you ran, you ran to the beach near dodo airlines. Picking up the phone to look at the new message.

“Y/N?”

“Okay calm down, we’ll figure this out...I made a promise to help you and I’ll be damned if I don’t keep that promise.”

“What if I double the amount of nmt to see you? Would that work?”

You thought about it. But no. Audie wouldn’t care. “No, that’s not gonna work, Audie probably has ten thousands of tickets by now...” And after about 20 seconds you got a reply. “I’ve got it! Why don’t you go to the dodo airport, open the gates and tell me the dodo code!” This....this could actually work! You wiped your tears away and quickly replied. “Yes! I’ll go do it right now!” And with that, you quickly ran into the dodo airlines. You asked Orville to open the gates and that you wanted visitors, and after a quick weird look he complied, telling you the dodo code. He was probably not used to villagers wanting to go but it wasn’t exactly any rules against it. You pulled out your phone to text Raymond, he had left a message to you. “Alright! Let me go to the airport!” You smiled to yourself as you read this. Is this it? Are you really gonna escape? You texted him back. “The dodo code is B2GT7.” And now you just had to wait. You sat down on one of the stools in the airport, twiddling your thumbs as you waited. But then. Something awful happened.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE!?” You quickly turned around in shock to see the person you wanted to see the least. It was Audie, standing in the doorway. Her hair was disheveled and she looked this close to snapping. Your whole body started to shake more violently then it had ever done. “A-A-Audie?! I-I-I ca-an exp-plain!” You couldn’t keep your voice steady as you hastily backed up against Orvilles desk. Orville was looking at the both of you, very concerned but mostly scared. “YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE OUT HERE!!! ESPECIALLY AT THE DODO AIRLINES! WERE YOU GONNA FLY AWAY AND LEAVE ME!!!!” Audie was now approaching you at a rapid pace. It didn’t take long before she was towering above you. “I really thought I could trust you Y/N! But it seems I’ve been giving you to much freedom. Until we get the shared house, you’re gonna be locked inside my house!” As she said this, she grabbed a hold of your arm and started dragging you

away, you were punching and trying to pry off her hand but it wouldn’t budge. Once you were outside of the airport Audie continued. “Maybe I’ll have to put the new basement to use. Yeah, until we get the shared house, you’ll be chained up in my basement. I can’t trust you on the main floors, they have windows and I wouldn’t want you to escape again!” Once you heard this, adrenaline kicked in to the max. You used all your strength to kick Audie in the shin. She instantly released you to grab her leg. Letting out strings of grunts and curse words. You tried to run back to the airport again but Audie tripped you and grabbed your legs. Now dragging you back to the house. You tried to grab onto anything, digging your nails into the ground. But nothing slowed her down, she was determined to take you with her. So you cried out for help. Hoping that someone, ANYONE would hear.

And just then you could hear footsteps approaching and Audie letting out a grunt. Suddenly, her grip on your feet released and you could hear a big thud. Turning around, looking back, you could see Raymond. He was leaning over Audie, two hands pressed against her throat. He was strangling her! You quickly ran up to him and tried to pry him off. “Raymond no! Stop! Please stop!” He looked at you, hate in his eyes, yet none of that hate directed at you. You gave him a pleading look. And so, Raymond stood up. Taking his hands off her throat. Audie immediately started to cough, desperately trying to get air back into her lungs after it being forced out. Raymond wasted no time however. Grabbing your hand and running off to the airport. He slammed his hands onto the desk that’s Orville say by. “TAKE US AWAY FROM HERE! NOW!!!”

The flight home was very quiet. Neither of you wanted to bring up what happened before you left. Raymond felt ashamed over himself. He decided to try to break the silence. “Listen I-“ “you tried to kill her...” He didn’t know how to respond in a way that wouldn’t make him sound like a psycho. “...yeah...I did...I’m...im sorry Y/N. I tried to stop myself, but right then, that moment. When I saw how horrified you looked...I guess the adrenaline took over...a-and I know that’s not a valuable excuse! I know that! What I did was inexcusable! But...I don’t know, I guess I just lost control...” as he said this, you leaned your head against his shoulder. “I don’t care what happens to Audie. I care about what COULD have happened to you. What if she got loose and attacked you?! What if someone saw it and called reinforcement!? Do you really think I’m worth going to jail for!?” You turned around to look at him as you said this. There were tears flowing through your eyes. Raymond cupped your cheeks with his hands, using his thumbs to wipe away your tears. He looked into your eyes and leaned closer, kissing your forehead. “You’re worth dying for Y/N...”

After maybe 2 minutes of flying you finally arrived at Raymonds island. Salamacis. You always liked that name and this would be the first time you ever visited Salamacis. The island was still very bright. It appeared to be around 5pm at the island when you arrived, and as the plane flew closer to the ground you could see the decor of Salamacis. It was beautiful, the entire island was decorated in a very classical manner. The ground was covered with stone paths except for the flower gardens full of white and black flowers. There were full of zen gardens everywhere, In fact the whole place screamed of “Zen”. It was very nice. You could also see the occasional islander running around. Some of them saw the plane and waived, some of them even ran after the plane. And sure enough, as you and Raymond walked out of the airplane, A small group of villagers had gathered around you. They all looked curiously at you. Your grip on Raymond’s hand tightened, but Raymond stroked it gently with his thumb, trying to calm you down. He let go as he walked toward them all, with you following behind him. “Everyone! This is my friend Y/N! She’s going to be living here from now on! I want you all to treat her with respect and kindness. As she is a new addition to the family.” Everyone was quiet for a few seconds before a small rabbit ran up to you. She was black with a few white spots here and there and had a black tuff of hair on her head right between her ears. She was wearing a black box skirt uniform and a black beret. “Hello! I’m Mari! Welcome to Salamacis! You’re Y/N huh? We’ve heard so much about you! If you want we can give you an island tour!” “Yeah! Let’s give them a tour!” “Follow us!” They all said as they ran away, you felt much easier as you ran after them. But you stopped midway and ran to Raymond. “Thank you Raymond. Thank you for everything.” And with that, you gave him a quick pick on the cheek and ran after the others. You got a feeling that you were gonna enjoy it here. Meanwhile, Raymond was standing by the airport wide eyed and blushing like crazy.

“So we don’t actually have an open plot for you to live in...so you’re gonna have to sleep in my house.” Raymond said as he led you up the stairs to the bedroom. “I know that it sucks that you just got out of the Audie situation and now still have to share house with someone, but don’t worry! I’m gonna sleep downstairs on the couch!” As he said this, you two arrived in the main bedroom. Just the mere sight of it made you let out a small “woah” to which Raymond laughed slightly. He thought your amazement was adorable. The room had a king sized bed in the middle, with a big fluffy rug under it. You went up to it and sat on the bed. The blanket was made with a soft material and the mattress was so comfortable that you practically fell into it once you sat down on it. You immediately laid down, basking in the comfortable material as you stretched. “So, again, if you need anything, and I mean ANYTHING, feel free to come down and ask. Alright? Goodnight Y/N.” And so, as you got down under the blanket, Raymond turned to walk down the stairs. “A-Actually Raymond? There is one thing I wanted to ask...” as you said this, Raymond made a total 180 and looked at you. “Yeah?” “Would you...would you sleep with me tonight?” Once you asked this, Raymond’s eyes went wide, it looked like there was about a thousand thoughts going through his head. “Y-yeah! Of course!” And so, he walked up to you. Lifting up the blanket and laid next to you. You crawled up to him, embracing him. And he did the same, he was wearing a silk rope with some imperial print. It felt very comfortable. You rubbed your face against him, feeling yourself drift off to sleep. “Goodnight Raymond....I love you...” and just like that. You were out like a candle. Raymond felt his heart beat faster. You...loved him?

“...hhhehheh....hehehe, oh Y/N...” Raymond laughed quietly to himself. He had you, he finally had you! After months of searching! After thousands of Nook mile tickets! At first, he just wanted one of you. But when he found out that you were the original you! That made him interested in you specifically. And that interest only grew and grew until it became a monster-like obsession. He wanted you, he needed you. He was gonna do everything it took to get you. When he attacked Audie, he went in full intention to murder her. Such a disgusting individual! How dare she treat you like nothing but a mere pet! Raymond felt ashamed for what he did, not because he regretted it, but because he did it in front of you. You should never have had to see that side of him. But not to worry, you would never ever HAVE to see him like that again! Now that you lived here with him there was nothing that could come between you and him! He was gonna treat you so much better than Audie did. You would be allowed to walk around freely! Talk to anyone you wanted! Dress in any way you wished! If he found you at the Ables sisters and you wanted the 1 000 000 bell crown? He would buy it! No questions asked! He would even let YOU decide where to place your house once you got it! ...but there’s no rush. If he could have you like this, next to him, for a few more weeks...maybe that wouldn’t be such a bad thing...he knew that he would eventually have to let you move out into your own home. After all, he just said that he wouldn’t be like Audie. But maybe a little bit more time with you wouldn’t hurt. You wouldn’t mind! The proof was right in his arms. He didn’t even suggest that he slept next to you, yet you still asked for it! And you said you loved him! Oh you were gonna be so happy here! He was gonna make sure of that. He’s your friend. Your saviour. The one who’ll always be there. The one who’ll always have time for you.

The one who rescued you.

/ / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / / /

Oh was this a shitpost idea? How about I turn it into a 6 0 0 0 W O R D F I C ? No but for real. This is probably one of my favorite ones. It was such an interesting idea and like...I got so much inspiration. Also sorry to the anon that wanted a wholesome happy ending. It’s more of a bittersweet ending. But if you feel bad for Y/N, I don’t think Raymond is gonna do anything since Y/N is pretty much in love with him. There. Happy ending! So yeah...more Raymond :D wooo! Hope y’all are hungry because I am serving some food! This time featuring friends as the villagers beck didn’t want to come up with villagers myself!

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1zashreena1 · 4 years

Text

Angst Fluff Whiplash -14

18+, m/f, technically OCxDiego Jimenez [Power]

Summary: What does an apex predator do after confessing undying love? Princess is about to find out.

WARNINGS: Ridiculous descriptions and ‘the code is more like guidelines’ outlook on grammar. Is it OOC if the character was given essentially zero development in canon???

Non-descriptive sexytimes, the L word, criminal activities glossed over, relationship building, plus size woman+fit man, Anxiety, This one is all feels and

I Am So NOT Sorry.

THE TIME HAS COME

A/N: Princess took on a life of her own and has essentially become an OC. There are infrequent mentions of her description (specifically as plus size) and her actual name in later pieces (its Bicki). She started as self-insert so she looks like me (plus size, white, short, blue eyes, curly hair). If that is not your thing, I totally understand. And do not feel obligated to read this, I will not be offended!

I’m not a fan of “plot” so be aware that most of this series is just meandering through their relationship, angst-fluff-smut whiplash style. But with dick jokes.

TAGLIST: @chelsfic @symbiont13 @nicke0115 @bunnykjm @rosee-sensuelle @girlpornparadise @mandoplease @heresathreebee @xxsteph-enrixx @jetiikad @joalsglasses @mutantcookiesecrets @demoncatstone @squidlywiddly87 @lockedoutofmyotherblog @poeedamerons

"I don't know, Lisa. He won't tell me. Not until this weekend apparently? We're supposed to go shopping."

"Honestly, I'm scared. I mean, there's the whole how did he get a passport FOR me dilemma. Then the part where he knows I don't like surprises. And he said he was calling my sister!"

"Oh my God, she could tell him anything! Please don't tell him about the Backstreet Boys phase. I'm going to have a panic attack."

"Of course he would tease me about it for eternity!"

"What? Watch what words? What are you talking about?"

"Do not hang up this phone! Do you even love me?!? Lisa? …. Hello?"

You toss your phone down on the bed and heave a huge sigh. Your very own BFF, abandoning you like that. Luckily its your own phone and not the insane cell Diego got you because it bounces off the other side of the bed and smacks into the wall before admitting total defeat to gravity.

You stand there staring at your open suitcase. Your typical items are in there already. You don't need any toiletries. Or makeup, now. Or bras. Or underwear. Fucking hell, its like I already moved into the penthouse with him.

… Could I do that? He already basically asked for it. He keeps telling me to quit my job and let him spoil me for real. You wring your hands together while rubbing your lips against each other and being bombarded with intrusive thoughts. Yeah. Until he's done with me and then I have to start all over. At 35.

But its been almost a year now that you've been seeing Diego. What does that even mean, "seeing" him? You think about how the last few months have been so… easy. He practically lives in New York now, their territory split. He opted to control the East Coast and let his sister deal with the logistical nightmare of receiving the imports.

He has been a lot looser since then. Faster to laugh, quicker to goof around, less likely to do anything as hard as he used to do. The distance from Alicia has allowed him to really flourish in every aspect. And he's beautiful with it. The laugh lines and the soft brown eyes wreck you every time.

He says he wants to keep you. Take care of you. You finally believe that he loves you. He has made so many improvements in communication. Hell, he read books on how to be with someone on the spectrum. Do you understand it? Hell no. Are you going to take it and run? Fuck yeah dude. I love him and I want to keep him.

And now he wants to take you on a trip. A surprise destination. Out of the country with a mostly legal passport. You don't doubt that you'll be safe with him. Your parents were a little concerned when you told them since they've never even met him. And they saw him on the national news that time he got arrested by the Feds, so that really inspires confidence.

Your middle sister Lynne and niece Halley accidentally met him that one afternoon about a month back. And they have not shut up about it since. Diego this, Diego that, blah blah blah, paid the restaurant bill in cash, yadda yadda, took us all shopping to a Coach store and then got Halley some crazy new sold out Nikes. Diego had been delighted to be surrounded by a gaggle of giggling girls enjoying his spoiling attentions. Just like always, Diego went to the max and charmed them silly.

It was like having an out of body experience to see Diego with them. You couldn't really fault them, he swept you off your feet with no problems. He was grinning and joking the whole time, making raunchy comments with your sister and encouraging your niece to be assertive (unnecessary according to her soccer coach and the 'Most Aggressive' trophy). He fit right in with them. Afterwards he had asked if that was what it was like to have normal siblings and your heart broke thinking about what his childhood had been like with his sister.

Which brought you back to the here and now. He had mentioned off hand that he was going to call your sister. Maybe you should text her. She might know something.

Maybe you should just pack your bag and trust him.

Your Diego Cell chirps and you dive for it on the nightstand. Is he okay? Please don't be hurt.

Its a pic of him. In the shower. With his own hand wrapped around himself. You choke on air and have to sit down.

I miss you Princess

Holy. Shit. Its been almost a year that you have had unrestricted access to that incredible body and your reaction is still the same. Before you can respond another text arrives:

SOON

The attached pic is just from squinty eyes up.

You burst out laughing at him. You love that he is secretly a nerd about internet stuff. His appearance would never give that away. Time to be ridiculous right back.

Don't make me lick your eyeball

You are a crazy person laughing to yourself alone in your bedroom.

You are so weird

Yet there you are, lusting after this weirdo

You shoot back.

… Am I the weirdo??

No. Still you.

I would threaten to bite it.. but you would like that

Well now you have to

Oh my God. You're fairly certain you could do anything to this man and he would think it was sexy. Its a novel experience.

Can we eat dinner at home tomorrow? I don't feel like wearing a real bra

You know the answer to that.

YES. NO MORE BRAS EVER AGAIN. BE FREE

… no panties?🙏🥺

You can see the hopeful puppy dog eyes clearly.

A for effort babe. One of these days you might get your wish lol

...Are you panty free right now?

Wow. He is really trying here.

I'm packing.

Your pic is a heap of tangled thongs dumped on top of Tiny Murder Panther.

💜🔥😛

He would find that hot. Fucking nympho.

Lemme finish this so I can go straight to the airport tomorrow

Fine. But I am pouting

You do not doubt that.

Don't care. Still love your stupid face

You cannot believe you just sent that.

Princess.

Mi amor.

Diego's good little girl.

You shudder with the praise. You can hear it in his voice, as if he were right here with you.

I love you

Dream of me?

Oh baby, if you only knew. You sigh wistfully.

Always, baby

---------------‐---------

The flight is uneventful, thankfully. Your maxidress with a built-in shelf bra is stupidly comfortable and you actually take a nap.

The plane has barely come to a stop and you already have on your silly lambswool lined Ugg flip flops. You had argued with Diego about these (Why would flip flops need a warm fuzzy lining??) but he had won by sticking one in your face and ordering you to feel. It didn't take a full second for you to snatch them both from him and cuddle them to your chest. His pleased smile full of dimples was worth all the subsequent teasing.

You slip on one of his previously stolen shirts in a metallic lilac color and roll up the sleeves so you have use of your hands. Bending at the waist, you flip your hair over and fluff it back up from the nap. What was that he had said? Oh yes: Wild and thick, just how I like it. The memory makes you bite your bottom lip and smile.

Bastian is waiting for you on the tarmac. He takes your bag and kisses you on the cheek in greeting. "Hey, sweetie. Nice shirt, is that new?" His knowing grin is infectious.

You nuzzle into the collar with a laugh. "Thanks! My boyfriend gave it to me."

Bastian chuckles as he opens the passenger door for you. "Oh, honey. That is not all he is going to give you." He closes the door while you roll your eyes smirkingly.

The ride to the penthouse is uneventful. Well, as uneventful as Friday evening rush hour traffic can be in New York.

Bastian waits until the song is over before lowering the stereo volume. "We're supposed to pick up dinner. Any requests?" He drums his fingers on the steering wheel while you sit at the red light.

You ponder the options. "What kind of a day has he had? Meetings? Tours? Disciplinary action?" You ask Bastian thoughtfully. Sometimes when Diego has a bad day he likes comfort food. Mostly a giant heap of rice and beans next to homemade tortillas, he isn't so picky about the variety of meat.

Bastian glances at you out of the corner of his eye before warily answering, "There was a… termination… at a construction site this afternoon that took longer than expected. That's why he didn't come to get you, he wanted to shower first."

You keep your eyes focused forward to look out of the windshield. "Okay. How about Jalisco's then?" Comfort food it is.

Bastian nods and adjusts course to obtain those tortillas.

‐--------------------

The instant the elevator doors ding open Diego pops up from the sectional and comes straight at you. Your giant sidestep to let Bastian pass is barely completed before Diego is slipping those big hands under his own pilfered shirt to crush your body to him. Your arms go around his neck like a reflex, like this is their natural resting place. He leans his forehead down onto yours and kisses you so very gently.

"Mmmm. Hi." You murmur softly into his beard. Those bottomless brown eyes look over your entire face before coming back to your own. His smile is huge, those dimples make your pulse trip. He blinks slowly down at you, just like the big cat you nicknamed him after.

"Princess. How was the trip?" He always asks you this. You still aren't sure if its just culturally specific manners or if he is requesting a review of the flight crew's performance. Either way, your answer is always the same.

You pull him back down so you can cuddle into his neck. "Its better now that I'm here." He rubs his cheek against your own and purrs directly into your ear in response. Your body's reaction is immediate and decisive. You shiver in his arms and your nipples peak to full attention.

Except this time is different. With only a bralette and the dress's shelf bra Diego can clearly feel what just happened in real time. His eyes are comically round as he peers down at your cleavage in pleasant wonder.

"Oh. I like this outfit." His hands rise up your back to crush you further into him. You chuckle and rub your chest on his firm pectoral muscles. He watches hungrily as your compressed decolletage rises higher yet from the added pressure. "New rule to match the bedroom pants bar, no bras in the penthouse. Fucking magnificent, bonita." He licks his lips after making this proclamation.

You throw your head back and laugh joyfully.

‐----------------------

As it always does the weekend passes too quickly. Its already 1:00pm on Saturday when you two finally come down from the bedroom.

Diego is delighted to hear that your time-off request was approved for the trip. You had told him not to worry about it, your boss always kept her word about this stuff.

That’s when he pulls a ridiculous pith hat out from under the couch. It looks like it came straight out of a Looney Tunes cartoon about a big game hunt on the African savannah. You lose your entire shit and laugh until you do that silent clapping seal move.

Diego keeps repeating, "Wait, stop laughing. Stooooop." But he isn't faring much better. You finally wipe the tears and calm down enough to take it from his limp fingers while he chortles a few last times.

"Baby. What. What the fuck. What fucking is this??" You plunk the hat on your own head and Diego collapses facedown into your lap to gigglesnort uproariously. "Stop. Stop laughing. Stoppit!" You smack the back of his head lightly until he comes up for air.

He closes his eyes and composes himself. You take the opportunity to plop the hat on his head.

"Oh my god, that is so sexy!" You declare in high dramatics.

He grabs your hands and leans in very close to explain. "You need this hat for our trip." Your eyes narrow in suspicion. "You will wear it for our safari quest…" he pauses for dramatic effect and your lips twitch in suppressed amusement. He leans closer yet and captures your stare. His face is hilarious, you can tell he is biting his cheek to keep from laughing. His eyebrows are drawn down in concentration but his eyes are widened in mock excitement. He sucks in a deep breath to exclaim, "To locate palm trees in the wild!"

He laughs as he puts the hat back on you.

You blink a few times in shock. Palm trees? You're going somewhere with palm trees? A tropical locale. Palm trees. Beaches. SWIMSUITS. Your sudden panic must show on your face because Diego's laughter dies off.

You blink furiously, but its too little too late. The tears burn as they well up in your eyes and spill down over your cheeks.

He reaches out to cup your face. "Princess?" His tone is an even mix of concern and fear. "Bicki? What?"

You shake your head 'no' and throw yourself into him. Diego catches you and hauls you into his lap. You curl up against his chest and sob quietly. He pets over your hair, open handed strokes so his fingers don't tangle in the curls, and soothes your back while you shake. Rubbing his nose against your temple, he kisses your cheek and whispers, "Do you want to write?" His gentle care only makes you worse. "...so that is no." He looks crestfallen. He buries his face in your hair and breathes heavily.

Your tears are slowing and your chest is finally beginning to loosen. "Dieg-" you hiccup, wrapping both hands around his forearm. You wheeze a few times before trying again. "I. I. Where? Where are we g-going?"

He sighs deeply before answering. "Nowhere. I won't take you somewhere you don't want to go. I should have known better. I-" He snaps his jaw shut so fast that his teeth click together.

Tilting your head back, you try to catch his eyes. Diego won't look at you. "H-hey, please." You cup his jaw and pull him down to you. He comes, but the motions are stilted. "Look. Please, baby. Let me s-see you."

When he finally meets your eyes it breaks your heart. That chocolate gaze is disappointed, hurt, frustrated even. You wiggle around until you're straddling his lap. He just holds his hands out of the way, not hindering you but certainly not helping either. Standing up on your knees to lean your forehead against his, you reach for his hands and bring them to your chest where you lace your fingers together.

"Baby. I want that." Your nose rubs against his as you speak. "I want to go everywhere with you. I never thought I would ever get a chance like this. To travel? To go somewhere tropical? To have someone who loves me enough to do this for me?" You're crying again. And so is Diego? A little??

He brings your joined hands up to tap your chin. His face is adorably conflicted when he speaks, "You… want to go?" You nod slowly. His eyebrows lower as he tries to make sense of this. "Then why do you cry? Are they, the uh, is that 'happy tears' ?"

Your hands shake in his. "Yeah. Happy tears. I just. I was overwhelmed. I'm sorry." He huffs out a sigh. You continue, "Its almost like the super intense emotions short circuit my responses and I guess my default is panic crying? I don't know."

Diego huffs at you again. "Please stop that. I'm going to have a heart attack." There is a hint of real annoyance in his voice but his lips curl up at the corners.

You free your right hand to reach up and brush his wet lashes. Why did something this little bring him to tears? "Baby, is everything okay?"

He leans into your hand, then turns to kiss your fingers. You giggle, you can't help it, his beard both tickles and delights you. He smirks at you, "It is now, Princess. You should get dressed so we can go."

But you're not done here yet. "Where are we going on the trip? A place name, not foliage that may or may not be present."

His Cheshire cat grin is intriguing and mildly worrisome. He gives you one word, "Xcalak." And then watches while you access your mental map and pinpoint the exact location.

It takes you a moment but you find it with a gasp. "Costa Maya? Like Caribbean-sea side of Mexico??" He nods and you immediately start in with 20 Questions. "Are there cenotes? Is the water really those unreal colors? Is the food amazing there? Can we see ruins?"

Diego cups your face to stop you. "Whatever you like, little girl." With a kiss to your nose and a smack to your ass he ushers you upstairs to get dressed.

-----------------------

The shopping is less traumatic than normal for you thanks to Diego making enthusiastic innuendo nonstop and feeding you between stores. You find sandals, and flip flops, and little slip-on sneakers. All kinds of flowy maxidresses and flouncy skirts paired with new tank tops in buttery soft fabrics. Cover-ups and kimonos and huge airy loose knit sweaters get rung up with linen pants and shorts you actually feel comfortable wearing.

But swimsuits? A disaster. Everything that fits your hips is way too big for your ribcage. Tankinis big enough to go around your middle are about a foot too wide around your chest. You try some maternity stuff… amazingly there isn't any chest support. That confuses both of you for almost 20 minutes while you discuss it over croissants and various iced beverages (coffee for him and some kind of hot chocolate slushie for you).

Then you look across the street and inspiration hits. One of the stores you order bras from is right there and has bra-sized swimwear in the display window. Diego turns to see what stole your undivided attention from him and slaps his hand down on the table in celebration.

You aren't sure which one of you is more excited to get into the store. But while you run around exclaiming at all the things that come in your size Diego stands in the doorway and gawks. When you circle back to check on him he just points to one display wall.

There is lacy, frilly, corseted lingerie. In. Your. Size.

He demands one of everything that fits you and isn't red, brown, or yellow. You don't even argue.

The store does alterations and makes very good recommendations. The sales clerk is impressed with Diego's input, she comments that he really does seem to know your body well. You flush with it, glad that he isn't close enough to hear that. You leave with three bags and seven personalized swim outfits under construction. One is ready to wear and you keep reaching into the bag to touch it in wonder.

Diego notices but just gives you a raised eyebrow.

"This is the first time I've ever felt good about how I look in swimwear." You confess quietly.

Diego wraps a massive arm around your shoulders and tucks you into his side while you continue down the sidewalk.

--------------------

Sunday is a mess as you try to make pancakes and Diego tries to remain physically attached to you like an excessively attractive barnacle. The pancakes are either burnt or still batter in the middle. Leftover carnitas and tortillas to the rescue. Diego teases you about the kitchen failure all day because this is the first time he has witnessed such a thing.

You doze on the couch under the pretense of "reading". Diego rotates through his laptop, cell, and the soccer match on ESPN+.

Until his phone rings.

You both tense up. Only one person calls him instead of texting. He takes the phone into the office to answer his sister. You wait on the couch to see which Diego you get back: silly tickle fight Diego, sad puppy dog eyes Diego that requires cuddles, or angry Diego that needs to fuck you through the nearest horizontal surface.

The elevator dings and Julio comes in with a tray of coffees. "Ay, Gordita. Buenas tardes. I got you the hibiscus thing you like." He greets you with a big smile, then looks around when he doesn't see Diego on the sectional with you.

Hopping up to help him carry stuff, you point to the office in indication of Diego's location. Julio makes a face, "Hermana perra?" and you simply nod. Julio takes Diego's iced coffee and bites the bullet for you. The door closes softly behind him.

You munch plantain chips and slurp hibiscus lemonade until they come out. Diego just looks tired when he comes back to you on the couch, coffee in hand. You open your arms in invitation and he plops next to you with a sigh. Cuddly Diego it is.

He doesn't tell you anything and you don't ask. Everyone watches the match mindlessly. Diego snores softly in your lap while you pet his hair.

He rides to the airport with you but you forbid him from coming onto the plane with you. He is already making this harder than it has to be with his big brown eyes and clingy hands.

"Baby." You breathe into his hair while he snuggles into your neck in the backseat of the SUV. "Its only a week. We do this every week." You pet down his bicep and immediately regret it.

"I know." Diego huffs into your skin. "Why don't you just quit? Let me take care of everything." You go through this almost every week now, too. He nuzzles you, the sensation makes you reconsider his proposal. You pull his head up by a fistful of soft hair and look him in the eye. He blinks guilelessly at you.

"Number one: No. Number two: Stoppit." He laughs at your fond exasperation. "Okay. I'm gonna go. You stay on the ground."

"Fine." He whines. "But I am going to send you a dick pic the moment that plane takes off." He crosses his arms as if daring you to tell him no.

You cup his stupidly attractive face in your hands for a kiss. Okay, several kisses and 27 minutes later, you respond, "Send me one every day. Its my favorite dick." His startled laugh makes you feel very pleased with yourself.

He pulls you into his arms again to kiss you one last time. His beard scratches and you sigh into him. Finally that tongue retreats and he rests his forehead on yours. His voice is low and rough, his hands squeeze tight on your hip and thigh, "I love you, Princess."

Will that ever stop hurting? You close your eyes against the burn of tears but smile with happiness. "I love you, Diego." You pop the door handle before you open your eyes to see him watching you, jaw tense. You stick your tongue out and he breaks into a smirk. With a laugh, you slide out of SUV and walk to the plane, determined not to look back.

When you get up the stairs the pilot greets you, but his gaze shifts behind you. Turning around, you see Diego standing outside the SUV, arms crossed and trying to look so not soft. You smile and mouth Bye baby, he gives you a short little wave. You duck into the plane before you can start crying.

The wheels are not, in fact, off the ground when the phone chirps.

‐-----------------------

The trip is a few weeks out and there is some kind of emergency at the San Diego docks the next weekend. So. You don't get your Murder Panther fix.

And your coworkers notice. They spend all day Monday strolling past your cubicle, straining their necks to see if you're wearing new shoes or some fresh bling. Finally someone has the nerve to ask how your weekend was.

You find yourself blinking back tears. I miss him so much. This is ridiculous, he just texted you at like six this morning. But its not just the conversation you miss, now is it? You miss that big body crowding you into the corner of the couch. His soft curls under your hands. That beard on literally any inch of your skin. Draping yourself over shoulders wider than your hips and knowing that not only can he take your weight, he likes it.

He says he wants to keep you and you desperately want to keep him. Why do you fear this? Is it just his profession? The risk? Oh god, how do you even go about introducing him to your parents??? Diego can be all kinds of charming but he can be a real asshole, too.

And they know what he is: A criminal. For your boomer parents he is the living embodiment of Public Enemy Number One.

Grand Theft.

Money Laundering.

Arson.

Murder.

International Cocaine Trafficking.

HE IS A LITERAL DRUG LORD.

You lay your head down on your desk and try to keep it together.

Your Diego Cell chirps.

Your laughter bubbles up until it comes out of you without your consent. It turns hysterical and you realize you need to leave the office suite. Now.

In the bathroom you stare down at the phone as it lights up again with another message.

Miss my Princess💔👑

How? How is someone who can do all those illegal things so nauseatingly sweet to me?

And then it hits you. Illegal. You didn't use the word immoral. Illegal. You think back to how everyone you see working directly for him is well into adulthood. No children. There are a few women but they are not being sold by him, they are there by their own free will. And he has never laid a hand on any of them, they're just as comfortable around him as the men are. No sex trafficking. You saw someone give their resignation last month. The dude walked away with a suitcase of cash for a decade of trustworthy service. Its a better retirement plan than what I have.

Have you seen him assault people? Yes. You've seen him stab people. Carve off someone's ear because they weren't listening as assigned and it cost the Jimenez Cartel a shipment. You've seen him push an informant down an empty elevator shaft. Choke a man into unconsciousness with his bare hands when you were disrespected.

And you still love him. Not a single one of those incidents weighs on your conscience. Your morality is a dingy grey 12 year old men's undershirt that you should just throw away but you're definitely going to cut into rags to keep for cleaning when it comes to Diego.

The cell lights up again.

Mi amor 💞😍🍑🏝✈⏲👙

You don't know what's worse: His excessive and ridiculous usage of emojis or the fact that you understood.

Look what came

The attached pic is a few pieces of your new swimwear. They look gorgeous, you can't even tell where the alterations were done.

You have to try on all of them. And show me

Of course he wants his own personal show. You feel desire burning low in your belly. Its been a year and not once has he ever shied away from your stomach rolls or hinted at weight loss. He never questions the food you order. And while the two of you have chuckled about shapewear he has never mocked you for using it. Or seemed disappointed when you opted not to wear it. He tosses you around like its nothing and prefers for you to sleep on top of him. Its not that he loves you despite your weight, he loves it as part of you.

-------------------------

Its now Thursday and the desk drawer where you keep your purse at work is vibrating. He knows I'm at work. If he calls right back I'll answer him. You try to keep your Diego Cell out of sight at work or you'll never get anything done. Plus your coworkers are always dying to catch a peek of your infamous sugar daddy/boyfriend.

Yeah. Boyfriend. Keep practicing that. It feels good.

You finish the insurance call and hang up your headset when the vibrating starts again. Your next door cubicle neighbor pops around the divider to advise you to answer that before he comes down here and abducts you.

What deity should I pray to for that??

You snatch Diego Cell and march out to the hall. Poking the green button, you answer the call.

"Baby. You okay?"

"Princess! I… yeah. I'm not hurt."

He sounds odd. There is definitely something going on here.

"What's up? You need me?"

The silence stretches.

"Yes. Please?"

Diego sounds very uncomfortable. It causes you physical pain.

"Well, you have me. What is it?"

You can hear him swallow and in your mind you picture him looking away, hiding some soft emotion shining in his eyes.

"Baby?"

"Here. I am here. I just. I just wanted to hear you."

Something is very wrong with my Murder Panther, you think.

"Babe," your voice is soft, you're trying to ease him. "Can you tell me what's wrong?"

He huffs and you can hear him scrape a hand down over his face. "I know you are at work. And I should not have called. But."

His voice trembles, even over the phone you can hear it. He's afraid.

"Diego. If you need me, then you have me. Tell me, baby." You try to be reassuring but you also really need to know what is wrong.

"I would like to come down there." His declaration is overly formal. You wonder who he is trying to impress. Its certainly not me.

"You… want to come down here instead of me going up there this weekend?" You're trying to make sense out of any part of this conversation.

"I…. grrrrrrrrr." He growls in frustration. Between English being his second language and your sensory processing issues, this is not an uncommon occurrence. He sucks in a deep breath and charges forward in an emotional rush. "I know you're working, but I want to come down there because I miss seeing your face." Before you have a chance to answer he adds, "Pick me up? At the airport, after work? Please, Bicki." His voice cracks at the end and his inhalation is ragged. Your heart implodes.

"Diego. Baby. Of course. Of course I will. I can be there by six." You have a mental flash of how dirty your bathroom is, all the clothes you have laying around, and the vacuum you haven't touched in over a month. Diego needing me is more important.

"Good. Good. Yes, I. I will text you. When I land." His voice is raspier than ever, low and gravelly.

"Sure. I'll be there." I'll always be there.

"Okay. You… you should go." You can hear his determination. You can visualize him squaring his shoulders and setting his jaw, taking on the Jimenez Cartel persona.

"Hey." He grunts in acknowledgement. "I love you." You blurt it out before you have a chance to talk yourself round in circles. You can hear voices in the background.

"And you. You as well." The call ends, but you know.

---------------

You're sitting in your car at the little regional airport second guessing the coffee you got when the phone chirps.

Here

Springing out of the car, you wave to the security guard as you trot past. "Hey Jim, I just have to grab someone real quick. That's okay, right?" You wave vaguely back toward your car parked in the fire lane. There are only four security guards who work here and they all know you at this point.

Jim laughs but waves you on. "Go get 'im, sweetie." Jim must be pushing 90 by now, he doesn't care about traffic laws.

You enter one of the two sets of automatic doors on this entire building and cross through the tiny lobby. There. You can see his dark hair and ridiculous shoulders over a completely unnecessary row of potted plants. He must hear your echoing footsteps because his head whips around in alarm, but his face relaxes into a wide smile. He lengthens his strides to come around the stupid plants, hands automatically reaching out for you.

"Diego." You laugh breathily and fling arms around his neck. He smells so good.

He crushes you to his chest and buries his face in your neck. "Printhesss." He murmurs into you, slurred because he refuses to remove his mouth from your skin.

Turning your head to kiss his cheek, you moan shamelessly for him. He surges back upward to capture your lips and kiss you with mild desperation. That devious tongue sweeps over the roof of your mouth before curling up behind your top front teeth.

Your entire world narrows down to Diego. Chocolate. Tastes like the smoothest Belgian chocolate in existence. He smells perfect, clean but definitively male to you. His silky button-down is smooth under your hands, stretched taut over muscle. Those massive hands gather you closer, molding you to that big, solid body. His beard scratches your face in soft tickles when he alters the angle of the kiss just so.

"Goddamn." A woman's voice exclaiming somewhere behind you catapults you back into the here and now. Which is a dinky little regional airport in rural central Pennsylvania. You know, a very public location in a very prudish area of the country. Fuck.

You pull back and Diego's hands shoot up to the back of your head. Holding you in place, he leans his forehead against yours with a contented sigh. He rumbles softly to you, "Take me home."

You feel so silly seeing Diego in the passenger seat of your Corolla, he just seems so out of place. "You can adjust the seat however, nobody really sits there. I just put it all the way back to make sure you can get in without cracking your head." You sound nervous even to your own ears.

Diego turns to you with a response but his attention is captured by the cup holders in the center console, specifically the Dunkin Donuts styrofoam cup. He points to it, then looks up at you with a slow grin. "Princess. Is this for me?"

You flush but can't stop the embarrassed little smile so you cover it with sass, "Well, it sure as hell ain't for me." You start the car and give Jim a little wave. He winks and gives you two thumbs up. Yeah, I'm aware that you saw that kiss too, old man. Everyone saw that shit.

When Diego reaches for the coffee his fingers brush your hip. The contact burns and you suddenly remember that you have not touched this beautiful man for well over two weeks. Apparently he remembers, too, because he wraps that huge hand around your thigh with rather a lot of force. Right hand slapping down to cover his, your heart rate jumps through the roof. Did I take my blood pressure pill this morning?

"Don't." You choke out.

He rumbles softly next to you, purring with conceited pleasure. "Did my Princess miss Diego?" He asks you with an incredibly pornographic voice.

"Oh, fuck you." Your answering groan is also obscene. So glad the windows are up.

His hoarse chuckle makes your thighs tremble. "You're Diego's good little girl, you will." He's right and you both know it. You would ride him right here in your own damn car if he demanded it. You have a problem.

He lets you redirect his hand to the coffee with only a little resistance. "Focus." You hiss.

"Me or you?" Diego quips.

"Yes." You declare.

Diego's guffaw is contagious and you don't even try to hold back.

Your apartment always seems like an adequate size until Diego is inside. No, bad Bicki. Do not say it like that. His presence just sort of… lounges about in a vaguely threatening but highly attractive manner. Much like the actual man on your couch. You tried to pick up dinner on the way but he just wanted to 'go home'. You are disgustingly happy that your place feels like home to him.

Diego had flopped on your couch immediately and hasn't moved since. Something is very definitely very wrong. There were bursts of your Murder Panther in the car, but he has been just subdued overall. He had turned your stereo up and smiled faintly, watching you sing along. He had also complained that the stereo in your car sucked (Agreed) and this was unacceptable. You're sure he'll do something ridiculously extravagant to remedy this.

You try to give him the remote, he takes it but doesn't do anything with it. You offer him food, both junk and something home-cooked, all you get is a shrug. You putter around for a while, picking things up and sighing before putting them down somewhere else. His dark eyes watch you, unfathomable.

Finally you disappear to the bedroom only to return in your pajamas. This he likes, perking up and blinking rapidly. "Okay, I know you brought something softer than those jeans, so get comfy so I can order shitty pizza and cuddle you."

His jaw drops in momentary shock. Then he scoffs, "I do not cu--"

You cut him off, "Yes, you do and yes, you're going to. Up. Now." This has to be hilarious. This short little woman in overly long pants barking orders at the massive man who heads an international drug cartel. Well, its either hilarious or fatal. I'm about to find out.

Diego looks around, as if someone else might secretly be here to witness him be a little bit submissive and moderately soft. He raises his chin in a tiny show of defiance. "Fine. But I am showering first." He glares with this proclamation, daring you to contradict him.

You throw your hands up in the air. Why the fuck would I have a problem with that?? His eyes follow your hands, like a cat when you try to point out a bit of food but all it does is rub your finger. You sigh, resigned to your fate. "Of course that's fine, Diego. You know where everything is, have at it."

You watch his butt as he walks away to the bathroom.

The pizza actually isn't shitty and Diego eats half of it by himself. When you offer him the cinnamon dessert sticks he shoots you a calculating look. You split the contents, pulling two sticks over to yourself and piling up the rest in front of him. His delighted grin is decidedly not calculated and you lose track of time watching him enjoy dessert.

He's beautiful like this. He wears a soft, silky t-shirt that is tight enough to help you get through the nights you spend alone. His hair is a riot of fluffy curls, free of product and clearly trying to break free of gravity, too. He hasn't shaved for at least a few days and that salt and pepper beard is filling in nicely. His face is unguarded, expression open, those laugh lines and dimples you love make frequent appearances.

After dinner you lay all over each other in some weird we-have-intimacy-issues approximation of cuddling. It works so you don't question it. He has his laptop and you have your tablet and together you have sporadic conversation. Its comfortable.

Until Diego asks you a seemingly innocuous question that you know is very nefarious:

"What color do you like in cars?"

Your eyes narrow so much that you have trouble seeing. "...Why." Your low tone might be frightening to anyone else.

He looks at you over the laptop screen, brown eyes innocently wide. "Just curious. Your car is green. Do you like any other colors?" He slowly pulls the laptop closer to himself to subtly cover the screen with his bulk.

"Diego." You slowly put down your tablet and start leaning toward him. He has nowhere to go, propped up in the corner of the chaise end of the sofa. "What. Are. You. Doing."

"Will you let me take care of you? Just in this one way right now?" He licks his lips, brow furrowed in concentration. Building desperation shows in his eyes and you can't fight that. You don't want to win this.

"Let me see, baby." Your sighed acquiescence has an instantaneous effect. Diego drops the tension from his shoulders and opens an arm to you in invitation. You crawl up him to cuddle into his chest, wedged on your side between all those muscles and the back of the sectional. From here you are stationed directly in front of the laptop screen.

He is looking at cars.

Armored cars.

Armored, bulletproof, explosive resistant cars.

What. The. Fuck.

"Diego, what the fuck is going on?!?" Your apprehensive demand sets him right back on edge. You can feel him go tense underneath you. The laptop gets shoved onto an empty cushion as you throw yourself over him. Tiny hands land on those broad shoulders with extreme force as you use all of your deadweight to trap him. Below you, Diego shakes but you can't tell if its from anger or anxiety because his eyes are scrunched closed tightly. "Tell me why I need a fucking bulletproof car!"

He surges up into your face to match your volume, "She knows! Mi hermana perra knows about you! Alicia found out about us!" You lurch back in shock, but the steel hands on your hips stop you from retreating. His voice is hoarse, louder than you've ever heard him, and its terrifying. Your fear must show because he releases his grip on you like it burns.

"WHAT?" The ramifications here could truly be lethal. Alicia has already tried to set Diego up to take the fall when they were arrested almost four months ago. You know she has scorned Diego's familiarity with his men in the past, that is why he handpicks them personally. To Alicia, everyone is disposable, even her own brother. Her only loyalty is to herself.

Diego's hands come up in an aborted reach for you. You're still too shocked to move. His face crumbles in agony and he blinks furiously, hands balling into fists. "Everything I have ever wanted she has ensured I never got. She, she manipulates me into destroying everything I touch. I will not let her hurt you! I refuse to allow her to break us, mi amor!!" His volume has steadily escalated until he is yelling.

He's afraid. He is afraid that he will lose me. The realization emboldens you enough to take his hands in your own, bring them to your chest, and press them close to your heart. You trust that he won't hurt you in his rage. You don't fear him, this dangerous, powerful, ruthless man that you love.

His hands open to slide up your shoulders, curl around your neck, and his thumbs glide over the pulse point under your ears. He brings your face to his own, his expression twisted up with fear and anger and possession and love.

"You are mine! And I will keep you!"

You realize everything that you have been debating with yourself, all of your pro versus con lists, your stupid little dry erase board covered in sticky notes with your fears, your scribbled timeline of events and possible future predictions, none of it matters. All you care about is the man in your arms. Diego is the most important thing in your life and you can't imagine a life without him. If you had to give up everything to keep him, you would do it in a heartbeat.

Your hands grip tightly around his wrists and you consciously straighten your spine. Expression hardening, your eyes open to meet his anguished gaze.

"I want black."

The armored 2020 Camry is delivered that Sunday. You thank him for finding something inconspicuous with an upgraded JBL sound system and he compliments your understated color choice of Black Sand Metallic. By the time you drop him off at the airport that evening you've managed to replace the new car smell with something better and you're thankful that the leather seats just wipe clean. Monday morning in the parking lot at work, however, is a literal ordeal.

---------------------

The next two weeks feel like they’re seven months long. You clock out at noon on Thursday to a chorus of your coworkers making vaguely lewd remarks and howling with laughter about your vacation. 'Two whole weeks on a beach in Mexico with an absolutely loaded hottie' is what they've been repeating gleefully all week.

You turn around and walk backwards to give them finger guns, "Yes," then you reach down to adjust your pants, "And YES." Their squeals are contagious and you're still laughing when you burst out the front doors to drive home.

You turn the volume waaaay too high in the car so that your teeth vibrate and it feels like you're having heart palpitations. I love this fucking car and I love that man.

There is a rental Tahoe parked in the grass next to the huge gravel driveway at your farmhouse, but he left the second assigned parking space next to your Corolla open so you can park The Beast (as you have affectionately named your new ride) appropriately while away. When you get out of the car you glance up instinctively, Diego is standing outside your front door on the small third floor balcony laughing.

"Are you deaf yet, Princess?" He hollers down in amusement.

You flip him off with the middle finger that wears the gemstone ring he gave you while yelling back, "WHAAAAT??"

His laughter fades as he disappears inside, leaving the door wide open to let out all the cold air. Were you raised in a barn?? Close the door, the electric bill-- You cut off your own thoughts when you suddenly remember that you haven't been paying that electric bill for the last six months. Nevermind.

Before you can start up the stairs, Sara, your first floor neighbor, appears on the porch with their toddler. "Hey stranger!" Sara waves with a big smile and the kid does the same but with some kind of unidentifiable kitchen utensil in hand. "That is your boyfriend, right? He had a key so I didn't think it was your ex but I wanted to make sure. I mean, from what I just saw it is your boyfriend. Also, holy shit, that's your boyfriend?"

If she says the word 'boyfriend' one more time I'm going to spontaneously combust.

"Uh yeah, definitely not my ex. Sorry, I forget that you guys haven't really seen him before, I meant to tell you he was coming." You can feel your face burning and it isn't from the August sun. Sara fans her own face with a hand while mouthing 'he's hot' like you're somehow unaware. You forge on before she can start gushing aloud. "We're actually leaving on a trip tonight so I'll be gone for the next two weeks."

Now Sara drops the kid and scrambles over to whisper fiercely to you, "Oh my god, seriously? Where are you going? Wait, this is the same guy you've been going to see in New York, right? How long has it been, like a year? Is he taking you on a trip for your anniversary? I don't even know his name. Oh my god, that is so sweet!"

Okay, down girl. You're not sure who you're trying to will into being chill, Sara or yourself.

"Um, we're going to Mexico. And yeah, he's the guy in New York. It's just a vacation." You don't even touch the relationship questions with a ten foot pole. You glance up but Diego is still inside, Thank fuck.

Sara hops a little in excitement. "I'm sooo jealous!" She squeals. "You have to take a ton of pictures! I need to see! Oh my god, I bet you guys are such a cute couple!" You nod and start backing away, trying to wave goodbye so you can climb the stairs and then climb Diego. "Ooh ooh, wait, what's his name?" Sara hisses conspiratorially. "Does he speak Mexican? Is he Mexican!?!"

You suddenly remember why you tried to move away from this area. Repeatedly. "Yeah, he's Mexican and yes, he speaks Spanish." You sigh. Sara nods but continues staring at you expectantly. Fine. "His name is Diego."

Sara makes a stupid face like this is a rom-com movie. I cannot take anymore, you must shut the fuck up. "Okay, okay. I won't hold you up. But seriously, we can have a 'pics and wine' girls' night when you come back!" She waves maniacally before snatching up the kid and skipping back inside.

I can't think of anything I would like less. Oh hell no.

You climb the stairs in record time before she can come back outside and start talking again.

Bastian, Julio, and a third man you don't know are in your living room. You do not care and your vague wave shows it. You can hear Julio's warm 'Gordita!' greeting as you spin around and march to the bedroom.

Diego is standing at your bed, tucking TMP into your small duffel, when you burst through the doorway and continue at full speed directly into him. He laughs breathlessly but holds steady against your weight. "Princess. Are you ready?"

You take overflowing fistfuls of his shirt, bury your face in his chest, suck in a huge lungful of air, and shriek at full volume.

"Uhhh...that is a yes, si?" He mutters uncertainly above you.

You rear back to look up at him with a smile so wide it hurts.

"Oh good." His hands come to your shoulders while those beautiful brown eyes sparkle. The dimples and laugh lines come out as he absorbs your infectious excitement. Your hands shoot up to his hair to yank him down so you can crash your mouths together with bruising force.

The effect is immediate. He moans loudly and crushes you against him. You dig nails into his neck and you lick your way into his mouth, his hands snake down to your ass to hold tight. Your left leg comes up as you try to wrap it around his hips. With a pained groan he rips those lips off of yours and pulls back. Undeterred, you move on to assaulting his now bared throat, moaning like porn come to life.

"Princess," he gasps, "You have to sto-- uhhh, yes, bonita. Your fucking tongue." You're too busy licking his adam's apple to pay attention to words right now. "Nooo, mi amor, please, lo siento, stopstopstop." You get in one last nip of his collarbone as he pulls your head back via a handful of ringlets. His pupils are blown wide and he's panting hard. You stare longingly at his delectable mouth while making pitiful whines.

"Please, baby, pleeeease. You're all I've thought about for days. I need you!" You try shameless begging, you're certainly not lying. Petting over his shoulders and down that solidly muscled chest, you shudder and try to pull yourself back to him.

He closes his eyes with a grimace. "Flight! Fuck you on the flight!" He croaks, then yanks your hair harder than you like. The pain clears the fog just enough for you to blink back to awareness. You nod jerkily and step back. "Have to leave now to get there before dark." He explains in a rushed huff. You blink as you remember how time works.

"Right. Yeah, right. Okay. Okay." Straightening to attention you yank off the cardigan you wore for the air conditioning at work, leaving you in a tank top and ready to be productive. Focus on not-dick.

Diego shoves your favorite notepad in your face so you can see your packing list and not him. The distraction works. He has checked off every item in each categorized list but left the strike through action for your completion. You lower the notepad until you can make eye contact with him and intensely whisper, "You know I fuckin' love you, right?"

He laughs so hard he has to sit down on the bed.

You go through every bag, touching each item and crossing it off your list one at a time. He did it. Everything but you.

"You know I don't need TMP, right?"

"Why?" He squints up at you from where he lounges across your bed.

Your face heats up and you clear your throat. "Well, its, I'm. I have, uh, you. So I don't need anything else." The realization of how true that is in every sense gives both of you pause.

Diego surges upright to cup your face and bonk your foreheads together just a little too hard. You giggle and he huffs.

"Mi amor…" he sighs for you, eyes closing in pleasure. You 'mmmmm' in response. Then his eyes snap open and he growls an order, "Get changed so we can go!" And punctuates it with a stinging slap to your ass.

----------------------------

You spend the flight with your face pressed to the window, vibrating in excitement, except for a brief intermission of seven orgasms in the bathroom.

The unknown third man is Joey, Bastian's boyfriend. Joey is even quieter than Bastian and just as cute. They're not overly demonstrative but clearly comfortable moving around each other. Joey works in "Packaging" and does an admirable job of ignoring his cartel drug lord boss being snuggly. Julio naps.

The customs agent at the Cancun airport looks you up and down with wide eyes but stamps your passport with no questions. Its a five hour drive to Xcalak but Diego is adamant it can be done in three. You give him an eyebrow question which he dismisses with a vague wave, "They paved the road all the way to the southern border last year."

Uhh, they what now? You understand soon enough. The drive drastically changes outside of Cancun. The scenery is both beautiful and heartbreaking. There are occasional mansions with armed guards, high fences, and SUVs like your own current ride. Mostly though, its shacks and people on foot or riding bicycles, weaving to avoid stray dogs and huge iguanas. Could I handle this as my daily reality?

The first time the road sidles right up to the ocean you have a small meltdown.

"Is that what I think it is?" Your soft whisper is accompanied by a shaking hand pointing to the left. Diego, crammed into the middle of the backseat between yourself and Julio so you could have an unobstructed view, indicates an order for Bastian to pull over. He reaches across you and pops open your door. You slide out with his hand on your lower back and take about a dozen steps to the lapping water. Diego appears to your right, watching you intently.

"Its gre-e-e-en!" Your stuttering squeal is accompanied by happy tears and you fling yourself into Diego with joy. He laughs at you, but hugs you back just as tightly.

----------------------------

The first week passes in a blur of amazing food, warm green sea, fruity drinks, and shirtless wet Diego. And so many orgasms that you can't keep count. Diego is all over you non-stop, more than he ever has been before (Astonishingly). Its incredible and you feel like the only person in the world. If he's not molesting you then he is at least touching you; keeping you in his lap, holding your hand, cuddling and petting and snuggling like a man obsessed.

You love it. You love him. You love this life.

On Saturday he lets you lead him through the tiny town, your Spanish improving by leaps and bounds as you try to navigate the streets and alleys and shops. The four years of high school Spanish actually prove useful as you manage to complete a purchase all by yourself. Your playful mock smugness evaporates under the blazing desire in his eyes.

He drags you back to the casita in a much shorter and more direct route than you took upon earlier departure. You're marched directly to the bed and he puts one massive hand in the middle of your chest to gently push you down onto your back. There is something different about this, something important in his eyes. Your voice is high and soft, "Diego?"

He climbs up between your legs and leans down to kiss you senseless. It goes on forever; soft lips, scratchy beard, silky tongue, and nothing but the taste of Diego. Your moans and sighs are mixed together, there are moments when you can't tell who is making what noise. His hands are shaking as he strokes every inch of newly bared and sunburnt sensitive skin while undressing you.

It takes repeated attempts, but you finally get him naked, too. The sight never fails to take your breath away. All that soft, and now freshly tanned, skin is like velvet to your touch. You're mesmerized by his muscles flexing and then evening out as he moves above you. He finally gets your linen pants untangled off your left foot and flings them across the room with unnecessary force. Your soft peals of laughter light up his face and it brings tears to your eyes. You reach a hand out to him, "Diego. Baby."

He comes up over you, threading fingers into your hair, kissing you slowly and thoroughly. You can feel him against you, fire hot and mouth wateringly hard, but he makes no move to take you. Your eyes open in hazy confusion as the kiss ends. Diego is watching your face, blinking back tears.

He is holding your head still, hands like steel. Whatever this is, he needs it. And you want to give him everything he needs. Forever.

You're captured by his eyes, bottomless, soulful, and hungry. His raspy voice is soft and trembling with desire. "I love you, Bicki. I want everything. Forever, Princess?"

Your chest compresses and your heart implodes. Scalding tears escape when you blink and you're nodding before you even know it. "Yes, Diego. Yes, baby, I'm yours."

Your back arches off the bed as he comes home and brings you with him.

-----------------------

You wake up crushed under Diego. The sun is still up so you might be able to talk him into going out for dinner. You rub your cheek on the huge bicep doubling as your pillow and Diego sighs directly into your ear from where he is spooned up behind you. Oh yeah, we should have done this waaaay sooner.

He nuzzles your neck just to incite squirmy giggles and you don't even fight it. "I have something for you, Princess. Stay here." He pulls away and you whine about the loss of your pillow. His low chuckle burns you alive with want. "Stay like that. Do not move." You obey while you listen to him rummage around behind you.

He comes around to your side of the bed, still completely and unabashedly nude. Hell. Fucking. Yes. You love it. He hands your glasses over and you slide them on to take in the now high definition view of naked Murder Panther. The view disappears as he kneels down next to the bed so you're on eye level. His expression is very peculiar.

His hands slowly come up to reveal a small box of black velvet. Time slows to a halt as he opens the box and presents it to you.

Inside is a ring. Gleaming in platinum and sparkling with three tastefully large princess cut diamonds.

Its an engagement ring.

Diego is proposing.

He swallows hard and rumbles gruffly, "Now remember, you already said y--"

You cut him off with a shriek. "YES! YESYESYES!!"

In the time it takes him to blink twice with surprise you're on him. Arms around his neck, you throw yourself into his lap. He topples backwards and you ride him to the floor, already bawling hysterically.

He stares up at you in shock as you nod furiously and cry all over him. "Princess. You… you are certain?" If this were any other time you would be howling with laughter at his huge eyes and lax jaw.

Your answer is stuttery but determined. "Y-y-yeah. Put it-t-t-t on me already!"

He laughs in delight at your order and the imperious presentation of your shaking left hand. The ring glides on easily, a perfect fit. It gleams up at you blindingly. After a moment of admiration you lace your fingers with his and sigh at the union. His other hand comes up to roughly brush away your tears. "I know you do not like labels so much… but, you will be my, my married... Person. Thing?"

You stroke his bearded cheek in return, thumb lingering on that dimple. With a hard gulp you dive in head first. Fuck it.

"Yes, Diego. I will be your wife."

----------------------

The next time you wake it is dark out. You reach for a phone on the nightstand to your left and jump when you find one with a loud crack. Diego pops upright behind you, instantly on high alert. "Princess?" He hisses while covering your body with his own.

You gigglesnort, then meekly answer him, "I forgot about the ring and whacked a phone. Everything's okay, baby."

He sighs so deeply that his breath ruffles your hair. "Jesus fucking christ, woman. You are a menace." He flops down on top of you and snuggles back into your warmth.

You reach back with your left hand and grope blindly for his face. He licks your fingers as soon as they're in reach and you stuff them into his mouth as retaliation. He just sucks languidly.

"Mmmmmm, I'm your menace, baby. And I have to pee." He nips your fingers but rolls over to free you. You slide out of the bed and stretch your arms high while arching your back. Diego groans painfully. "What?"

Diego rises to all fours on the bed while the sheet slithers off of him. "You forget that other people can see without glasses, huh?" You cock your head and realize that you have a shadow.

It's a full moon. And I just stretched naked in front of a sliding glass door. "Oh. Huh. I guess I do forget. Oops. I'll be sure to keep that in mind now." Your seemingly tame answer is directly contradicted by the exaggerated roll of your hips that makes your butt bounce when you walk off.

"Fucking menace, woman." Diego growls as you push the bathroom door shut with a trill of laughter.

You never do go back to bed but you do wind up on the beach in front of the casita to watch the sunrise. Julio finds you both snuggled together late the next morning, still asleep on the covered daybed under the palms while the rising tide comes ever closer. At least Julio has the decency to cover your bare ass with a beach towel.

-----------------------------------

By the time you think to check your phone gallery you have… 1,792 pictures. WHAT THE FUCK.

You scroll through the pics, there are a lot you do not remember taking. Was I that drunk or did Diego take some of these? One is a close up of your ass from below wearing a string bikini, I knew I wasn't that drunk. The next pic is Diego asleep on a lounge chair, one arm curled up above his head, muscles glistening in the sun, and swim trunks so low on his hips that it's almost obscene. Immediately following that is the same pic but with your own face photobombing about three inches away from the camera and giving a thumbs up with your left hand so your engagement ring is prominently visible. Oh yeah, I remember that one.

There are videos, too. The first one is Diego making lewd comments while you twerk in the ocean for about ten seconds. Okay, that's par for the course with us. Next is you successfully backflipping off of Diego's shoulders into the green water to everyone freaking out. Shit, even I'm impressed with myself. After that is video of you gagging through a dish of octopus at some restaurant. Both of you are clearly visible in the shot so Julio must have had the phone. Betrayal.

There are tens of dozens of the two of you in various poses and outfits, both disgustingly happy and blatantly in love. There's even a role reversal shot of Diego sprawled across your lap, one enormous arm wrapped around your neck and his knees over your own arm while you grimace and he laughs hysterically. The table to your right is covered in empty bottles and mostly finished drinks. An entire subsection depicts you asleep like you have a stalker. You count no less than 29 of you two trying on increasingly ridiculous hats in random stores.

You can't even keep count of all the close ups of a smoldering Murder Panther. You feel no guilt. Aren't you supposed to be ridiculously attracted to your fiancé??

Fiancé.

You have a fiancé. Your fiancé is Diego. You are engaged to Diego Rafael Jimenez.

I have to explain this ring to everyone. They'll have questions about him. People will want pictures. How do I explain what he does?? Oh my god, there's no closet here. I have to… find somewhere. And I can't I can't. Its-

Your head jerks upright when something touches your hair. Its Diego. Kneeling on the floor in front of you, he has unfurled a sheet over you to block out everything, and he waits there, watching you. Before you realize it your hands are reaching for his shoulders, just the feel of him, warm and solid under your hands, calms you.

Slowly, his right hand comes up to cover your left. "No closet, Princess." His huge fingers grip yours tightly. You nod a little. He just watches you, eyes guarded.

"Ask. Go ahead." You mutter. You can tell from his posture that he is uneasy, apprehensive.

He locks eyes with you and his gaze is intense. He curls all of his fingers around your left ring finger. "Still yes?"

The fear in his eyes breaks your heart. Your voice is shaky but determined, "No. You can't get rid of me. I'm your problem now, baby." His expression would make a meeker woman cower in fear, you laugh weakly.

He settles down on the tile floor in front of you, with the sheet over both of you. Its like four in the afternoon and I am sharing a blanket fort with my cartel boss fiancé while on vacation in Mexico. What even is my life? His elbows are on his knees, chin in hand. He studies you for a minute, you stare right back. He raises one eyebrow and you sigh in capitulation.

"I don't know how to just be happy. I suck at it." You shrug but reach for his face. Diego nuzzles into your hand while you stroke your thumb over his beard.

"Habby isz nawt a berb." He slurs into your palm with a soft kiss.

The epiphany is like a cinder block to the brain.

He's right. I don't have to 'do' anything. I'm happy right now. I've been happy every time I'm with him. And no one had to exert any effort.

People can define themselves. People can define their relationships. Why can't they define their own normal? I can make my own rules. Especially with someone like Diego as my partner.

His one eyebrow slowly rises as he watches your thoughts play out across your face. "You back?" He asks with a hidden smirk, you know its there from the way his eyes crinkle with laugh lines.

"Yup!" Is your decisive answer. Diego licks your palm. "I got better places you can lick, baby." You answer his smirk with a waggling eyebrow.

The rest of the afternoon passes in a blur of play wrestling and inappropriate noises.

-----------------------

You do, in fact, go on a safari. Of sorts. Tours of ruins and jungle and cenotes, lots of side quests because the both of you are easily distracted by pretty colors. You probably added another thousand pictures of various palm trees to your gallery. The hat makes multiple appearances.

Diego has to ship a crate home to New York because he bought you too many souvenirs. You laugh and tease him when he wants to pick out things for your middle sister and niece, until you hear his logic.

"They were nice to me." He murmurs with a little half-shrug, "It was like being in a real family for a little bit." He studies the bins of painted shells on display in the little store with way too much focus.

You spend a moment deliberating before you decide to reach out and touch his elbow.

"Hey," your soft voice brings his gaze your way momentarily before he goes back to ceramic turtle magnets. You take his hand with your own right and rest your left hand on his chest. Diego looks down where your ring glints in the light, then up to your face. "You know you're going to be part of that 'real' family, right?"

Diego's boyish little smile is heartbreakingly adorable.

---------------------------------

The flight home is much shorter than you want it to be and you spend most of it asleep on Diego. At one point you wake up to see Bastian and Joey cuddled up together napping. When you look up from where your head is resting in Diego's lap he is already looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

"What?" You whisper softly. You stifle a yawn and blink repeatedly.

Diego strokes one big hand over your hair and grips your jaw firmly. With a huge toothy grin he answers, "Mine."

"Uh huh. How many times you need me to say yes, baby?" You smirk up at him with an arched brow. He seems to be reveling in hearing you readily admit your commitment to him.

He considers your question carefully while his other hand trails down the front of your body under a blanket. I don't remember having a blanket earlier. Finally, Diego settles on "Every day. At least seven times. Seven is a good number, right Princess?"

Your body jerks as his fingers press between your thighs with steady determination. Your eyes flick over to Bastian and Joey, still out cold. You make a show of wiggling around to get comfortable, and, surprisingly, that involves spreading your legs. "Yessss." You hiss up at him.

Julio reclines his seat and exaggeratedly covers his face with a new hat.

Seven is a very good number.

------------------------------------------

Your first day back to work is a circus. You don't think twice about your normal greeting as you enter the office suite. You swipe your badge with your right hand and pop the door, then wave 'hi' to everyone. Like usual. With your left hand.

There is an excessive amount of squealing that makes you second guess going into a female dominated field. The whole day is a wash because you have a steady stream of people passing through your cubicle. You're glad you had the forethought to curate a photo album of appropriate images to show your coworkers despite Diego's repeated attempts to sneak a dick pic in there somewhere. You most definitely included the glistening swim trunks lounge chair picture. Squealing intensifies.

Everyone comments on the hat and you're forced to tell the story of the hat. How you once told Diego that you wanted to see palm trees, 'But like, in the wild.' And Diego had laughed so hard that he fell off the bed only to pop back up wheezing about a 'Palm Tree Safari' until you smacked him in the face with a pillow. Your coworkers think it is just disgustingly adorable that he never let you live that down.

Your coworkers have questions:

When is the wedding?

Where are you having it?

What kind of dress do you want?

What are your colors?

Are you going to do flowers?

What about the cake?

Who is your maid of honor?

How did your family take the news?

What about his family?

Are you going to New York?

Will you take his name?

Oh shit. I forgot about the whole 'wedding' part of this.

#damnit diego #murder panther #rough me up then dick me down #24 fucking 7 hours in this house #zash writes #all the feels #so gross #soft murder panther #melty princess

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haroldosaur · 3 years

Text

Advice for 16-year-olds (from someone who was once 16)

Always have good music as close to hand as possible.

Don’t be afraid to laugh, to goof off, to completely waste time you should spend learning just having fun. Those are the memories that’ll stick with you.

The vast majority of your peers are either going to be as stressed as you, or more stressed than you. Take heart from the fact that you’re not alone in your suffering, but don’t be afraid to be kind to someone if they’re stressing out, either.

Never stop consuming media. It doesn’t have to be the classics (or even books!), but anything that stimulates you and gets you learning, or inspired, or at least a bit creative.

However careful you think you’re being with your personal information on the internet, be at least 20% more careful than that.

Walking away is basically always an option.

People are going to see you as an adult and a child simultaneously, and you’re probably going to get the worst of both worlds (pressures of adulthood mixed with the lack of agency of childhood) – that’s just the curse of being a teenager.

If you condemn someone, make sure it’s for genuine ill intent and ill actions, and that they haven’t just made an honest mistake.

When it comes to drinking, make sure that the first time you get drunk, you’re with people you trust beyond any shadow of a doubt.

The sooner you discover your limits, as well as how you act when you’re drunk, the better.

If at all possible, don’t become famous.

(the rest is under the cut, it was getting long lol)

You can loop YouTube videos by right-clicking on the video while it’s playing and then pressing the ‘loop’ icon.

There’s always more free stuff on the internet than you’d think, but exercise caution and make sure you don’t download any viruses.

When people say they “aren’t political”, or don’t care about politics, the implication of that (which they may not even be conscious of) is that the system as it is now suits them just fine, and they have no desire to see the world change. Do with this information what you will.

If you’re looking for music to revise to, videogame soundtracks are the best. There are no vocals to distract you, they’re long, and they’re designed to immerse you and make you more focused.

Be careful when crossing roads – wherever you’re trying to get to may be important, but your life is importanter.

Make sure that your relationships with people are roughly give-and-take – if they’re initiating all the conversations, make the effort to reach out to them first sometimes. If you’re the one always making the effort – I mean, that one’s more situational, but I’d say you should at least consider the fact that you might care about them more than they care about you.

Have a handful of books, shows, or movies, that you think are really good and are always willing to talk about – bonus points if you can articulate exactly why you like them so much.

Being passionate and well-informed is a great combo!

Look at a sunset at least once a day.

On the subject of uni, I’ll just say this: going to a university is worth it for the accesses and privileges alone, because you’ll get to read all sorts of genuinely interesting papers and sources.

On the one hand, student debt. On the other hand, I got to read a paper about what drugs cave people might have been on. Just sayin’.

Keep an open mind, and never be afraid to admit that you’re wrong about something.

Make sure you can play an instrument at least passably.

A living space should be clean, but it should also be exciting, and be yours. Don’t be afraid to display yourself and the things you honestly care about.

Hugs are good. I’d recommend lots.

Know your history. There are always going to be influences on the present in the past, like them or not. (Also, when you try to say something about history and get it wrong, the actual historians will laugh at you. No-one wants to be laughed at by historians. They’re nerds. It’s like getting beaten up by someone less than 5 feet tall.)

Don’t get twitter. If you do, don’t make any posts, and stay out of the trending tab.

Always stay updated on your emails from school/university/work. As you grow older, the onus will be on you to remember things, so it’s up to you to keep on top of your responsibilities and workload.

Know at least three good dance moves (that you can easily bust out at any given time).

Never listen to guys who criticise ‘girly’ videogames because ‘the entire game is just about doing tasks’ (like talking or farming or shopping). Point and shoot is also a task, it’s just violent. (or so sayeth the Tumblr post)

You feel old, which is fair, because this is the oldest you’ve ever been. But in a lot of ways, you’re still young, and it can sting to be reminded of that. Don’t get upset because you don’t have a lot of life experience yet – just listen to the people who do.

Of course, if someone is rude, patronising, or disrespectful to you just because you’re young, you have full right to tell them to shove it.

Never trust anyone who says treats animation like a genre instead of a medium.

Cite your sources whenever possible.

Question your sources whenever possible.

There’s a gannet to run between going along with the crowd, and being stubbornly contrarian at every opportunity. You’re gonna want to a look for a happy medium between these two.

Do lots of THINGS. You regret mistakes, but you regret the missed opportunities more.

The quickest way to double your money is to just keep it in your pocket.

Open a bank account as soon as you’re able - even if you get on well with your parents, it’s still nice to be able to buy stuff for yourself without having to run everything by them first

On that front, it’s definitely best to start saving up for stuff like a pension as soon as you can, if you’re in the position to do so.

Almost everyone looks at least a BIT ridiculous in photos, especially at the age of 16. The sooner you accept that and learn to laugh at yourself and others in equal measure, the happier you’ll be.

If you’re monolingual, try and learn another language. Go on. Do it. Make an effort.

There’s a reason that the classics are classics. Don’t disparage them and throw them away just because they’re old, or problematic.

Love yourself, love yourself, love yourself. You are your own best friend.

Legality and morality are so not the same thing.

That being said, breaking the law can definitely be more trouble than it’s worth. Don’t just do it for shits and giggles, yeah?

Cry if you want to. Especially if you’re a boy. I really think you’ll feel so much better if you let those feelings out instead of keeping them repressed.

You don’t owe internet strangers and weirdos a damn thing, least of all a debate.

Get outside and take a deep breath. It’s okay. It’s going to be okay.

Life is a series of venn diagrams. It is possible to hold multiple opinions on a topic, and it is possible to think in shades of grey.

If nothing else, hang in there for at least one more year, because at the age of 17, you are granted the rank of Dancing Queen.

That’s it.

OH WAIT

Never be afraid to tell people you love them.

#I was writing a thing for my sister (because she's 16 now) and it got out of hand so here y'all go #advice #advice post #I haven't the FOGGIEST how to tag this #top tips????#yeesh

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robinrunsfiction · 4 years

Text

The Lonely Road

Pairing: Gerard Way x Female Reader

Rating: Teen (for online harassment)

Requested By: None

Word Count: 2,400

Author’s Note: Inspired by the song Outnumbered by Dermot Kennedy, so feel free to give it a listen as you read. Originally this was gonna be a Valentine’s story, but now Valentine’s is over, and so I just took out the brief mentions of it. Also it’s a Gerard story so of course it’s longer than intended so taking parts out probably is for the better 😅 Shout out to my number one @mariawritesfanfic for helping me wrap this story up

You scrolled through your twitter feed, as hours on the tour bus left you with few other options to pass the time. Your new album had just come out and you wanted to see how people were reacting to it.

OMG @(YFN)(YLN)’s album is awesome! Everyone check it out now!

The only reason she’s famous is bc of @gerardway

The album is ok if you consider she fucked her way into stardom

I stg if mcr ever breaks up it’s gonna be (YN)'s fault

(YN) should just break up with gee so he can be with frank liek everyone knows he wants to be

You felt sick to your stomach as you read through the messages. Sure there were tweets from fans saying how much they enjoyed the album, and they love Gerard and you together, but those weren’t the ones that stuck out in your mind. It was the negative messages that caught your attention and soured your mood.

As if he was reading your thoughts, a text from Gerard appeared on your screen. “Hey sugar, congrats on the album. It’s amazing and so are you xoxo love you”

You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes at the love and kindness of his message. “Thanks love," you replied before tossing your phone aside. You pulled shut the curtain on your bunk and let the tears fall silently.

You had met Gerard at an award show. You had always been a fan of his and My Chem, but you were beyond nervous to say anything to him when you saw him across the room. When he approached you and said he actually had been listening to your music and was a fan, you thought you might transcend onto another plane of existence right then and there. You found him to be surprisingly easy to talk to and exchanged phone numbers so you could hang out sometime.

Hanging out sometime turned into hanging out often. Then one night under the stars in his backyard, your casual hanging out turned into sharing your thoughts, hopes, and fears you'd never voiced to anyone. The next day you were worried you'd never see or hear from him again, having revealed too much of your emotional baggage too soon, but that afternoon he called and asked you out on a real date. The date was perfect for two people like you and Gerard, complete with a tender, careful kiss that took your breath away. In an instant, you were falling hard.

After that it really became you and Gerard. When all of your friends found out, they were so happy for both of you, as they could see how happy you made each other. Then one day the rest of the world figured it out as well. Gerard had come to one of your recording sessions and had snapped a picture of you laughing in the recording booth and posted it online with the caption "the most beautiful person making the most beautiful sounds ❤" The fans put it together and a barrage of messages flooded your social media feed. Some people thought it was cute, many were awful, but you let it all roll off your back as you were too in love to care what anyone thought.

Months passed, and now that album was out. You had hoped Gerard would be able to join you on the road, but My Chem was in the studio themselves so he wasn't able to be there. You understood, but being away from him for the first time, while dealing with the stress of releasing an album, your first tour, and his angry fans, it was almost getting to be too much.

You had finally fallen asleep only to be awakened what felt like moments later by your manager Christine's voice.

"Rise and shine rock star, time to charm the lovely people of," she paused and you could hear her flipping through papers, "Fort Wayne, Indiana."

You sighed. You had wanted this for so long, it had been your dream for years. But now you were questioning everything.

"We're joined in studio by (YFN) (YLN), her new album just came out last week and we are loving it here on 106.7 FM," the overly cheerful radio host announced. “You have a lot of fans here in Madison!”

"Thank you," you replied with a tired smile. You hoped your lack of energy wasn't evident by your voice.

"Tell us, how much of an influence was your boyfriend? And for anyone who hasn't heard, (YN) is dating that oh so sexy MCR frontman, Gerard Way."

You had gotten this question at almost every interview, as if you were incapable of creating your own music. "He was there for some of the recording sessions, but a lot of the album was written before we met, so not a huge influence musically."

"What's it like to date someone so famous?"

"I mean, it's not like a topic of conversation for us," you replied sharply. You glanced up and saw the look Christine was giving you. "I mean, we talk about music and our projects and give each other feedback, but that's pretty much it. We're pretty normal weirdos."

After the interview was over and you played a few songs live, and then reboarded the bus.

"What the fuck was that?" Christine asked as the bus rolled down the road.

"What the fuck is with these interviews? It's never about me and my music. It's about Gee or the people on the internet and all the bullshit! That's not why I'm out here! I want to talk about my songs!"

Christine nodded. "Ok, I'm sorry girl. You're right. I'll make sure the next one we keep it focused on the music. We can't have you blowing up on another host."

"I didn't blow up! I snapped at worst," you retorted, rolling your eyes.

"Either way, we're on our way to Iowa now."

"Can't wait," you muttered and crawled into your bunk.

The dark cloud that had settled over you was not going away or getting better. While Christine was doing a better job of reminding the interviewers beforehand to lay off the relationship questions, they still came up, sometimes after the actual interview was over, sometimes they just disregarded your wishes all together to get juicy gossip. You did your best not to appear annoyed, but the longer you were away from Gerard, the harder it got.

She's an ugly, untalented leech! She doesn't love gee or else she would have put a song about him on the album!

He doesnt seem happy like he used to before her

The album jsut sucks. I mean i didnt listen to it, i just assume it does

She should just die

You couldn't take it any longer. The constant, incessant stream of hate coming at you was too much. You dialed Gerard and went into the back of the bus, shutting the door behind you.

"Hey (YN), how is everything goin?"

"I can't do it anymore Gee," you said, trying to keep your voice steady

"Do what?" He asked, immediately concerned.

"Tour, be a musician, be someone in the public eye, I can't take it!" You sobbed, unable to control your emotions any longer. "I feel like I have no privacy anymore! Everything I do is wrong, everything I don't do is wrong! I just wanna give up! I don't wanna do this anymore!"

"Hey, hey, sugar, it's ok. Did someone say something to you today?"

"It's been every fucking day," you cried. "I wanna come home, I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't want anyone to know who I am anymore."

"Take a deep breath," Gerard said, trying to keep you calm. "Where are you?"

"On the bus."

"Where are you going, or where were you?"

"I don't even know anymore. All I see is fucking corn everywhere."

"Ok, umm, where is Christine?"

"In her bunk," you sniffled.

"Can I talk to her?"

You got up and made your way to the bunks and knocked on the frame surrounding Christine's.

"Yea?" She asked, opening the curtain. "Woah, girl, what's wrong?"

"Gee wants to talk to you," you said holding out your phone.

"Hello? What's going on?" Christine asked Gerard. She listened and nodded and mm hmm'ed along. "She seemed stressed, but not that bad," she said as she watched you sink wearily to the floor, pulling your knees to your chest. "No, I hadn’t heard that… Yea, we're setting out from Omaha now, on our way to Denver," she paused. "Ok... Yea... Sounds good. Yea, we'll get our girl through this."

You looked up at her from your spot on the floor and she smiled down sympathetically and handed the phone back to you.

"Gee?" You said softly, the anger and fear and frustration having quieted.

"Hey sugar, we've got a plan for you, you're gonna be ok. But where are you hearing from the people that are criticizing you?"

"Twitter," you mumbled and you heard Christine mutter "I knew it."

"Delete it, you don't need that in your life. You're too talented and beautiful and wonderful to let anyone make you feel anything less," he said gently. "I love you, (YN) ."

"Love you too," you replied, a smile finally cracking through.

"Get some rest, we'll talk soon."

You had immediately crawled into your bunk and fallen into a deep sleep. The weight of your thoughts no longer weighing you down now that you had shared them with Gerard. When you finally woke up, you were rolling into Denver. You made your way to the front of the bus to find Christine on her phone.

"What's on the schedule today?" You yawned.

"Nothing."

"What?"

"You need a day off. We've been pushing you way too hard, and I just wish I would have realized it sooner. So we moved your interview to tomorrow afternoon and we're staying here overnight."

"Really?" You asked, stunned.

"Yep, we're going to the hotel right now."

It was incredibly refreshing to be in a hotel with a real bed and shower, and everyone was actually thankful for your meltdown that got them this break.

You took an extra long, hot shower to allow your muscles to relax, and then crawled into bed to call Gerard and give him an update. As his phone rang you heard a knock on your door. Keeping your ear to your phone in case he picked up you answered the door.

"Gerard!" You squealed as you launched yourself at him and he wrapped you in his arms.

"I missed you so much (YN)," he murmured against your neck. "I couldn't stand to hear the pain in your voice and not be there to make it better.”

"But you hate flying! And your studio time!" You exclaimed as you pulled him into your room and he dropped his bag on the floor.

“We were spinning our wheels and needed a break from recording,” he smiled reassuringly before he leaned in and kissed you with all the longing that had built up over the weeks apart. You ran your hands through his black hair and felt the tears slip down your cheeks. “And I’d fly to the moon if it meant I could spend a minute with you. I just wish I could have been here for you from the beginning, I wish I realized that you were struggling.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me. I thought I could handle it, but everything kept chipping away at me until I broke down completely.”

“I wanna worry about you, (YN). You’re my girl and I love you, and I wanna be there for you no matter what,” he said softly, wiping away the tears on your cheeks.

“Thank you,” you replied. “It’s just hard when it’s coming at you from every direction.”

“I know,” he said, pulling you back to him in a tight hug. “But for today it’s just you and me. No one else matters.”

You smiled up at him before pulling him into another sweet kiss.

The next morning you woke up with Gerard’s arms wrapped around you, holding you close. It almost felt too good to be true. As he slowly started to wake up, he gave you his lopsided smile and you couldn’t help but grin in return.

“I needed this so much,” you said as you buried your face against his neck.

“I did too,” he said squeezing you tight, his voice still raspy with sleep.

“Thank you for being here. I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” he said leaning down to give you a quick kiss. “Wait, I didn’t give you your presents yet.”

“What presents?” You asked sitting up, as he reached over the side of the bed to grab his bag. "I don’t have anything for you!"

"It's nothing, just a couple things I made for you," he said pulling out a large flat envelope and handing it to you.

You carefully pulled out the drawing that was inside. "Oh it's beautiful!”

"It's us the night we watched the stars and talked for hours. That was the night I realized I was falling in love with you. I was so scared you wouldn't even like me like that," he laughed softly.

"It's perfect," you replied. "What's this? ‘Gee+(YN)=gross, a big sappy love mix’" you laughed at scribbled handwriting on the cover of the cd case. Around the words was a big heart and lots of little hearts.

"It’s a mix of songs that remind me of you, and me and you, but Frank decorated the cover. He doesn't really think we're gross, he's just-"

"Frank," you laugh.

"Exactly," Gerard replied. "I was just hoping this would help you get through the last days of your tour."

"It will," you smiled and threw your arms around him. “I think just having you here for a day was enough to get me through. And I know now that I shouldn’t just bottle up what I’m feeling.”

Gerard nodded. “We’re a team, you and me. Let me help you when you’re down and keep you safe from all the bastards and shit talkers.”

“Sounds like a plan,” you smiled as you leaned in and kissed him. “But only if you promise to let me help you do the same.”

“I promise.”

#gerard way x reader #gerard way fan fic #gerard way fan fiction #gerard way imagine #my chemical romance fan fic #my chemical romance fan fiction #tw: online harassment #tw: bullying

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yan-purgatory · 5 years

Text

Yandere Monsta x HC’s: How he met you

admin(s): ❦ & ☕️

request: can you please do headcanons of how monsta x hyung line became obsessed with their s/o or crush? what drew them to the insanity, or were they already insane?

note: we decided to do all members, hopefully, that isn’t an issue.

Hyunwoo:

It all started with shownu just trying to give you something

it was just some textbook you left behind in class

he didn’t want you to lose something so expensive

it seriously was just him trying to hand it back

at least at first

you were just so quick

and somehow he had followed you all the way back to your house

and instead of actually ever giving it back to you he found himself just standing outside

holding onto your book as he watched you intently

mesmerized by the simplest actions

he hadn’t had a crush on you or anything before then

but now he definitely did

now people may think of him as a freak or even a pervert!

he is no such thing

it is simply called “security”

he was your own bodyguard at night

one you didn’t hire

but who cared?

he stood there all night until early morning

your book still clutched to his torso

it wasn’t until you thanked him that he felt a flutter in his chest

were you flirting with him?

i mean he did return your book, after all, you must love him

so every night shownu stood outside your house

looking through your window

sometimes to even see you change

he had to!

just in case

you never know what weirdos are out there

watching...

he was just protecting you.

“You’re just begging for some creep to come and watch you, aren’t you baby? Stripping right in front of a window? Good thing I’m here. I’ll make sure no one besides me ever sees you like this.”

Hoseok:

Wonho is either completely insane or just unbelievably naive

he has always thought of life as if it was a fairy tale

that fate played a big part in everything

and that included you, his soulmate

ever since he was a child his parents would tell him that when he found the right one he would know

in his mind, everything was just a never-ending fairy tale

love, at first sight, is the phrase often used

and that had to of been what happened

with just one look at you, he knew you were born to be his

you were the one

you had him under a spell

one you didn’t mean to cast

he didn’t even have an idea of who you were

what your name was

what you did for a living

if you were already in a relationship

nothing

but now he needed to

a husband should know everything about his soon to be spouse

never in his life had he felt such an immediate attraction to anyone

you were truly one of a kind

he admired you as you just continued to walk down the street

not giving him a single glance

and yet he just smiled

even laughed a bit

so adorable...that's all you were

just in denial

"How cute? Pretending not to notice their true love...they must be testing to see if I’d give up easily on them. Well, lucky you sweetheart, I'd never let you go now. We’re fated to be."

Minhyuk:

Minhyuk was doing just fine living of the same daily routine

all he had to do was take some pill from some old hag then he had the whole day to himself!

stuck in a white room all isolated from human activity, he actually loved it more than anything

however, sometimes the outside voices drove him mad, mad enough for him wanting to just...kill them all

he would be lying if he said he hasn’t fantasized about it before

all they did was talk and laugh with each other, they were talking about him, weren’t they?

for some reason that bothered him

but all his worries stopped one day

you

you arrived and everything got a little bit better

it wasn’t until you introduced yourself to him as HIS new personal nurse

he got a feeling he couldn’t explain

but he felt the need to protect you

like, you were his and he was yours

everyday he enjoyed a little more all because you were his own nurse!

how cool was that, minhyuk has never had someone of his own yet but now he did

all the time you would stay in his room with him even though it was not allowed, minhyuk would throw a fit if you didn’t

the smile he had on his face was worth it in the end

it was a real shame when he found out you were just a volunteer meaning you would not stay for long

he couldn’t have that, the thought of you going was horrifying

he was scared

why does it always happen to him?

everything he enjoys leaves him!

not this time no, you were not leaving him

so he did the reasonable thing and kept you, hostage

well I say, hostage, he kept you locked in his cold grasp

his arms wrapped around your body but in minhyuk’s eyes you didn’t mind

your complaining was you being silly nothing more, he was yours after all you couldn’t be mad

he was just a little naive puppy who needed loving

and you were that missing piece that would love him for him

it wasn’t until he got the bright idea

you are the perfect bribe

in your pocket, he found a scalpel, perfect

in a breath, it was held up to your throat and you were both in the hallway as he stumbled his way looking for the exit

threatening anyone who tried stopping his love, “come closer and I'll slit her throat.”

everyone loved him and this was a clear sign, everyone listened to him plainly to the fact your throat was inches from being sliced open

he forced you in your car and to d r i v e and not look back

to minhyuk’s delight, you were behaving so obediently

making everything much easier for him

the cops couldn’t get there in enough time to know which direction the two of you headed

so he could tell you where to go without worrying too much

after a while you ended up at this abandoned looking house

minhyuk ordered you to get out of the car and enter the place

he wrapped his arm around you as he looked at the old home

he smiled and gently kissed you cheek

minhyuk was happy once again

he left the ward with great success and he had his prize next to him, you

“Ah! And this is my home darling isn’t it perfect for us and our future family! Why are you looking at me like that? Just because I was stuck in such a horrible place for so long doesn’t mean I don’t know how to function as a human! But you will help me anyway won’t you baby? Will you help me function like a normal human?”

Kihyun:

He takes pictures of all things beautiful

and he so happened to be admiring something on the beach

it's not HIS fault that beautiful thing was YOU

so of course, he only took a quick picture but a picture turned into multiple

you were breathtaking, honestly

he has never been proud of something in his life

the pictures he took of you were hanged right away in his room where every night he could look at you and sleep with a smile on his face

for once he was at peace with the world

for the next few weeks, he saw you on the shore of the beach and of course, he took a few pictures of you

he didn’t realize it but he had a stack of photos just of you in a bathing suit

after hours of intense internet searching, he found you

not only you but everything about you

from facts by friends and family until small rumors about you

each rumor was something sinful!

who could think this of his precious kitten

they would be out of the picture soon, no one can hurt you then

all was going well for kihyun, his shrine of you was thriving

he wasn’t fully happy though since he didn’t have the main prize, yet

but he would wait for you to notice him!

that was until he saw you again, hand in hand with another man

something snapped inside him

who was he?

why was someone so disgusting touching you?

a true gentleman knows well for what a woman wants and that's what kihyun was

a gentlemen

that man was gone in just a single night

where was he?

kihyun didn’t know nor care

but you, why were you crying?

this was finally his time to get you for once and all

no one was stopping him, besides you of course

listen, he tried being nice towards you

but you decided to be a bitch to him, so kihyun had to do what was best for him

“You know you are going to catch a cold out here in this rain right? Go away? Don’t get rude to me love or I can promise you, you won’t see the daylight ever again,”

Hyungwon:

You two met at a club

its cliche isn’t it?

a couple of drinks and a kiss on the cheek and suddenly he had you in his bed

everything felt so right at the moment

your main focus was him

nothing else could steal your attention like he did

he has so charming...and different

it wasn’t until the early hours of the next morning when you realized how big of a mistake you’d just made

he didn’t know it, but you already had a boyfriend

you cheated

hyungwon caught you throwing your clothes back onto your naked body

it takes a lot to wake him up

but the feeling of your body leaving his was a big enough signal

he couldn’t bare it

why? why were you leaving him?

he watched you from his bed as you ran out of the room and the house

anger wasn’t a good enough word to describe what he was feeling

he was absolutely fuming

talking with a friend is how he eventually found you again

well, more like forcing a friend to spill your whereabouts

when he did find you though, boy was he in for a treat

you were locking lips with another man

supposedly your boyfriend

he just couldn’t have that

he didn’t get angry often

but someone else touching what’s his?

he could only see red

ripping the two of you away from each other

and beating the man until he fell unconscious

“Who gave you the right to touch someone else’s property? Can’t you tell that I have already claimed what's mine? Useless trash like you shouldn’t even dream of having someone as precious of Y/n,”

Jooheon:

Jooheon always had endless amounts of girls waiting and begging for him to sleep with them

a fuck and go

it was all he really knew

until the day that you became the newest “contestant”

such a willing, silly doll you were

asking him to fuck you just like everyone else had

maybe you were under the classic spell he had with the ladies

his endless charms

but it wasn’t until you presented yourself to him that it became more than just “another fling”

he felt something he hadn’t felt in a while

excitement

it was almost unfamiliar to him

it had been such a long time since this happened, but boy was it a good feeling

usually, he’d just try and get it over with, only really trying to fulfil his needs

but that night he took everything slow, making sure that both of you had the time of your lives

It wasn’t until morning where he could see you in daylight he felt something inside him other than joy

he felt this overwhelming need to protect you

you were just so small and vulnerable to him

it’s like even the smallest of things could possibly break you

and if you were going to be broken, he’d be the one to do it

that's when he decided

the best option was for you to never leave his side

with him, you could be treated like the prince/ss you are

he saw no downsides to his plan

so he couldn’t understand how when he enacted it you were completely against it

he tried to convince you to just listen to him

but his words seemed to fall upon deaf ears

and then you tried to leave him

a sudden wave of aggression took over him

he tried to calm himself down but it wasn’t working

and you kept on trying to escape

he didn’t know how it happened exactly, but suddenly you had a bright red hand mark on your cheek

and you stared at him with a shocked look as tears fell from your face

yes, you were fragile

but if anyone was going to break you, it was him

“Don’t look at me like that. You know I didn’t mean to. I was just trying to protect you. If only you would’ve listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened. You’re to always be by my side, got that? I’ll do much worse than this if you try and disobey me again.”

Changkyun:

Nobody had ever loved him

as harsh as it would sound it was true

would you love a psychopath?

the sense of reality was a kick in the teeth

no remorse for any of his actions

his emotions were always on thin ice

anger was just a ticking time bomb waiting to explode

everybody else meant nothing, they were the lowest of the low

only he was important

but you, you were so different from the rest

you didn’t seem threatened by him

that is what attracted you to him

but oh, you were so popular

you friended everyone

even him

he didn’t like seeing you with less important people

so they had to go

if there is one thing changkyun actually enjoys in life

besides you

it would be hearing the screams of mercy from his victims as he hurt them in the most painful ways possible

no one deserves your attention other than him

it was his dirty little secret

you wondered why everyone around you was gone

or giving you disgusting looks

even making up rumours that you killed someone

who could frame such a thing?

but do not fear, changkyun is here

he would protect you forever

“They said what to you? Do not listen to them sweetheart they mean nothing anyway, they are disgusting grains of dust who are a pathetic excuse of humans- you look very pale my dear, aw don’t worry prince/ss I will look after you,”

#yandere kpop #yandere monsta x #yandere shownu #yandere wonho #yandere minhyuk #yandere kihyun #yandere hyungwon #yandere jooheon #yandere changkyun #yandere au #yandere #admin cory

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years

Text

Survey #266

“... and buried deep beneath the waves, betrayed by family, to his nation with his last breath cried: beware the daughter of the sea.”

What's the last thing you looked up in the dictionary? Shit, it's right on the tip of my tongue... I was making sure I was using it right, which I was. Do you ever listen to instrumental music? Rarely, and if I do, it's normally game soundtracks. Who did you last sit on? I'm hoping you mean like... on their lap lmao in which case it'd probably be Jason. No one wants my fat ass to sit on their lap nowadays. What do you think about wind? I HATE wind, unless it's hot and there's a nice breeze. Has there been anyone that you wanted to get to know but never did? Well of course. That happened in high school a lot. What's the last thing you looked at that reminded you of someone? Teddy's picture on my shelf. Have your parents ever tried to commit suicide? Not that I know of. I couldn't even begin to imagine either of those trying that. Do you have a gag reflex? A VERY STRONG ONE. Would you rather have sex before you're married or wait till marriage? I don't care. Tbh by now, I kinda think before is wiser only to ensure you two are compatible in that area. It wouldn't matter to me personally, but I know that's important to some people and can cause issues and built-up bitterness. Just use protection, Christ. Have you ever let someone hit you? Um no? Do you have friends in other states/countries? Plenty. Been on the Internet since before I was even a pre-teen, talking to strangers lmao. Do you ever pay attention during church? I would try to back then, but I never succeeded well because my mind would wander out of boredom. Do you have self-control? That very much depends on the situation. I can be EXTREMELY impulsive, but in other cases hold it together. Have you ever broken a window? No. When was the last time you freaked someone out? I'm sure it was a few nights ago when I had another nightmare and woke up screaming. Mom always yells my name to snap me out of it. Have you ever gone on a date with a weirdo? No. Who's the last person you called a bitch? I don’t know. Is anyone in your family disabled? Yes. What do you want for Christmas? It's hella early to think about it, but I'm quite certain I'll be asking for a treadmill. How many moles do you have? I don't think I have any? Aren't freckles and moles different? Do you own any comic books? No. What is the nastiest dare you have ever committed? I don't know. I never did really nasty ones because I wasn't stupid. Do you know anyone who has been raped? Almost, anyway. Idk if I know anyone to really has been... I hope not. Are you an atheist? No. I think there's... something. Have you ever owned a goldfish? Well yeah, from like, carnival games and stuff. Who was the last person to call you beautiful? I dunno, probably a family member when I changed my FB profile picture. How many times have you been stung by a bee? Once. Those fuckin hornets better stay the holy fuck away from me. What was the last flavor of gum you chewed? Probably something fruity. When was the last time you used tape? Ummm probably when I had to tape the side of my laptop screen a bit. When was the last time you said fuck? A couple questions ago in this survey lmao. Have you ever stolen something? Only this pink crayon I thought was beautiful at Sunday school oof. Who would you like to kiss right now? Maaaan there's three people I would so long I wasn't involved with anyone else. Mark of course lol, Jason, or Sara. Who was the last person you told to 'Shut the fuck up' to? Ha ha, probably playfully to Sara. Why were you last nervous? So I joined this group on deviantART called the Guiding Light Project, which is about mental health help and positivity, and there is a list of people seeking help and what their problem is. I decided to reach out to two people I really thought I could help, and one was a guy. Men make me so nervous that I was very nervous sending him a message, but it's going very well. Whose pants did you last take off? Uhhhh. OH YEAH HEY when I was hanging out with Colleen and she got me to change her son's diaper. Hate hate hate hated it. I do not ever need kids. When was the last time you were disturbed? Hm. I'm sure over something I saw on Facebook. NO, WAIT. Sara, do not read this. When I was at Ashley's, we were watching Naked and Afraid, and they caught a chameleon to cook for food. I almost screamed. Poor thing looked terrified when the guy grabbed him. Why did you last feel awkward? Also when messaging that guy. When was the last time you got in a fight with your best friend? It's been a long time. Have you ever asked someone for a tampon? Only a friend. Who was the last person you read a book to? My niece had me read a book like fifty times. Who is the person you say the naughtiest things to? Ha ha, Sara when we're having our stupid fangirl moments. Who was the last person to send you a letter? Sara. It's still on my shelf. :') How do you feel about war? I’m a pacifist, so guess. Do you like cupcakes or muffins more? Hm, maybe cupcakes. Have you ever pushed someone on purpose? Yes. Have you ever slapped someone in the face? No. Do you have any tough life decisions to make soon? Nothing major. At what time of the day do you usually have the most energy? In the morning, once I've passed the drowsy phase. Magenta, aqua, or coral? Coral. Do you like the color orchid? Ye! Would you rather be a wedding photographer or a nature photographer? Uhhh I literally want to be both? I'm *realistically* more interested in shooting weddings for the income, but if I had my way, I'd be perfectly financially content being a nature photographer. Man, I hope that happens. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. Are you interested in health and wellness? "Rather than interests, I consider them two very important things I should always try to pay attention to. Health is very important." <<<< This. Would you ever be a fitness coach? HA no. Do you ever question whether something that makes you uncomfortable is a good thing or not? That's a very good question. This can definitely lead to you questioning flawed morals, so in that sense, it sure can be. In other ways though, it can certainly be a bad thing. Do you think for yourself? Yes. I am, generally, very opinionated and follow my gut instinct. Do you live life on your own terms, or do you do what everyone tells you to do? The former, usually. I can be AWFUL at making decisions though, so I definitely consider advice. What color is your bike? I don't have a bike. Are you due for a hike? There is physically no way I could handle a hike in my current shape. Muscle atrophy in the legs is not fuckin' fun, and with hyperhidrosis and THIS heat? Oh, hunny. Have you ever created a themed scrapbook? As a kid, I fainty remember having one? How often do you eat dessert? Very rarely. I don't need it. What's the trendiest item you own? Oh boy, I don't have a clue. I don't even know what's "trendy." Did you pull an all-nighter last night? No. When was the last time you wrote an essay? My first semester of this year. Do you enjoy writing essays? I actually do if it's a subject I'm passionate about. Do you enjoy learning? Yeah! What is your favorite fairytale? Fuckin fight me if you say Shrek isn't one. What is your favorite name that starts with a "Z"? I have no idea. Maybe Zena, though I prefer it with an "x." Have you ever felt like you were going to throw up while you were at school? Yes. I have before. Do you own a princess crown? No. When was the last time you were jealous of someone? Ugh... with how bad my PTSD has been lately, I've been having periodic episodes of raging hate and jealousy of the girl he dated after me, thinking things like, "what if he loved her more," "what if he also told her this or that," etc. They're not even together anymore, but my brain doesn't care. Do you know anyone with an eating disorder? Maybe? What was the last thing you killed? I think an earwig-ish thing. Whose number did you last get? The girl's who adopted Bentley. When was the last time you used a public bathroom? Probably not since an appointment with my psychiatrist some time ago. Have you ever used someone for money? Wow, no. Do you have manners? I honestly think I have great manners. Have you ever woken up and realized that yesterday really happened? That was ABSOLUTELY the day after the breakup. It didn't at all feel real when it was even happening. When was the last time that you had a pet that died? Last November is when we had to put Teddy to sleep. God, I miss that baby boy. Or did Mitsu die later? I don't recall for sure. Do you know anyone who retired at a young age? I mean, probably. I'm just unaware. When was the last time you took a taxi/Uber? Where were you going? Never, actually. We don't really have those here. Have you ever been diagnosed (by a professional) with OCD? Yes. Do you know any married gay couples? Distantly. Who is your favorite person to spend time with? SARA! I feel like kids having a sleepover when I've been with her. Is there anything you should tell someone, but don’t want to? Yes. Have you ever woken up somewhere and not known how you got there? I don't believe so. Do you live somewhere where recreational marijuana is legal? No. Have you ever quit a job with no notice? No. Do you have nightmares often? HA, it's just about a nightly basis now. Have you ever been on any sort of government assistance? I've gotten loans for school and stuff. Does that count? Did you have your own bedroom when you were growing up? No, I shared it with my little sister. Are you more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic. Are you comfortable with your weight? Fuck no. How often do you listen to classic rock? Semi-frequently. Not as much as I did in high school. What about country? Just about never ever. Do you know anyone inside and out? I don't think that's possible. Is anyone in your family sick? Both Mom and Grammy are fighting cancer right now. I don't think my grandma has much time left. She can't walk on her own anymore. What kind of camera do you have? A Canon EOS Rebel T6. What is something you know you shouldn’t do, but do anyways? Download music. What is the most amount of money you have ever lost? Idk. Is photography one of your interests? Of course, I aim to make a career out of it. Do you know your neighbors very well? I personally don't. The person to the right of us, though, my mom knows decently and is a total and complete sweetheart. Have you ever hurt yourself just to get attention? "Kind of (I hurt myself for my own purposes, but I did want attention paid to it), when I was a teenager, because I desperately needed someone to treat me with compassion and, like, take the shit that was happening to me seriously." <<<< I don't like admitting this, but it's happened. I want to emphasize that it was not the primary reason and was rather impulsive anger and self-hate, BUT for the mentioned reasons, I did want this shit taken seriously and realize I really needed help. Has anyone ever called you conceited? No. Do you write ever write poetry just to get your feelings out? Certainly. Not like I used to, though. Who were you last really mad at? REALLY mad? I'm not sure, but probably Mom. What is a sad song that you like? "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has been in my head lately. What is a rumor people tell about you? I don't know of any. The only rumor that I know has ever been spread about me was that Jason and I had a baby in high school. Despite the fact I was slim then lmao. If you were given 1,000 acres of land with no strings attached, what would you do with it? Definitely plant a forest around a house I'd like to model myself, dig a nice pond for more wildlife... a lot of stuff that would benefit nature. If you had to flee their home country, where would you live? Canada. Do you think psychic abilities exist? Which one would you like to have? No. I'd like to uhhhh... predict the future when I will it myself, I guess. What’s a skill or craft that you would like to master, but haven’t? I wish I could draw exactly what I see in my head. How did you find out Santa isn’t real? My mom just told me. What’s a personality trait that you wish you had? CONFIDENCE!!!!!!! Do you believe in getting revenge on those who do wrong by you? If so, how do you go about it? Noooo no no. That creates so many more problems. If you were arrested with no explanation, what would your friends and family think you’d had done? That's a great question. If you could shop for free at one store, what would it be? For the sake of being smart, Wal-Mart. Necessities are there. Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? I have a Siamese-esque cat and a champagne ball python. I'm currently DESPERATELY trying to talk Mom into a Mexican red knee tarantula... and I really want a hognose snake. What event in your life would make a good movie? The breakup and my recovery. If you could dedicate your life to solving one problem, what would it be? Discrimination. Where do you find meaning in your life? Quite honestly, I don't feel it has much meaning currently. I'm not doing shit worthwhile. Do you believe things happen for a reason? Hell no. What do you think is a conspiracy? Honestly, I believe in quite a few. The one I believe in most was that the government was 120% involved in 911. Research. It is unbelievable. I'm very dubious that the "first" moon landing was real, either. There is an overwhelming amount of evidence it was on a soundstage. Why? America wanted to beat Russia in the space race. I love conspiracies. Do you believe in the afterlife? How do you picture it? Yes. I don't quite know how I picture it, but I lean towards like... this nirvanic state of peace and knowledge, and unity between the dead. What’s a superstition you believe in? I don’t believe in any superstitions. None. What is the dumbest way you’ve ever been injured? YOOOOOO when I was at Colleen's in-law's having dinner once, I literally took a large bite of rice RIGHT WHEN IT CAME OFF THE STOVE. I didn't know it'd only just been removed. My tongue was burned for weeks on end. Do you mind conflict? Hell yes I mind. I'm terrified of confrontation. If you could start a charity what would it be for? Something with mental health. Maybe to help those who can't afford help/therapy. If you were a cryptid (bigfoot, mothman, ect.) what would you be? I'm already a cryptid. What’s your ideal temperature and weather? Hm... like 55 and partly cloudy. What topic could you give a 20-minute presentation on with no preparation? Gay rights. Have you ever worn those drunk goggles? Yes, for D.A.R.E. in elementary school. Can you agree to disagree, or usually get upset over conflicting views? It depends on the subject of course, but I'm normally very good at agreeing to disagree. Rodeos – entertaining, or cruel? Animal fucking cruelty. Dumbasses getting gored are well-deserved. Who is the best female rocker? Why? Lita Ford is a badass. Slays on the guitar and is just cool. What color of roses do you find the prettiest? I actually like the classic, deep red. Have you ever accidentally found porn when looking for something else? I don't think so. Why do so many fans with OTP’s insist that their ship is real? I don't really know, but it's annoying. Some people are just friends, y'know. Being similar/compatible does not equate to actually liking each other like that, and the feral ones are just... wow. Do you draw fanart of anything? Not anymore. There's soooo many pictures I'd love to draw of Mark, but I literally love him so much I don't want to disgrace his face with my poor ability to make shit proportional lmao. Favorite thing to see in museums? Fossils! Have you ever seen an unwrapped mummy in person? No. What things have people shamed you for? My AvPD doesn't want me to think about this. Are there any 'adult stores’ in your area? Probably at some point. Have you been inside of them/shopped there before? No. Do you watch The Masked Singer? Any theories? No.

#survey #surveys #questions

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quirkydahlias · 5 years

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Surprise Party (Part 3 ) (Dadzawa)

Sorry for the delay! The Monoma scene was bugging me, so I had to revamp it a few times. Hopefully its accurate to his character! I’m also currently experimenting with length in my writing and seeing if shorter HCs or long fics like these work with my audience better. So please give me feedback if possible! :O

“Everyone, please calm down!” Iida demanded, the chittering and chattering of his classmates in the early morning slowly dying down. With his arm swinging about, everyone’s attention eventually drifted to their representative, the long-awaited silence giving Iida reprieve before he lowered his hands, careful to not physically touch the teacher’s podium.

Its the only respectful way for him to treat his instructors’ property after all.

“If we’re too loud, we could draw the attention of the UA staff,” he sternly reminded everyone, coughing into his fist before continuing, “I’m glad that we’re caught up with all our collected intelligence, but I do have to ask-er, Midoriya?”

“Y-Yeah?” Deku responded, feeling a little shy and nervous about being singled out. He didn’t do anything wrong, did he?

“Why is Shinsou Hitoshi here?”

Everyone turned around to the back of the room, the dark-haired student finding solace amongst the shadows that still clung to the corner, safe from the slowly rising sunrise. Even with the shade masking his presence and the lights in the room dimmed for the sake of security, purple orbs emerged from the darkness, giving away Shinsou’s presence.

Iida’s question itself wasn’t out of spite or malice of any kind, the class representative not being the type to sneer at outsiders and strangers alike. Instead, the question was of genuine confusing and a little hurt. This was supposed to be a class 1-A bonding experience after all and Deku, and Ojirou seemed to have been unable to maintain the secrecy of the party. And if they of all people succumbed, what chance did the rest of the class have, remaining on task?

Shinsou decided to pop in as he wasn’t really invited by anyone in particular and just happened to have been awake around the time he saw the gaggle of class 1-A students sneaking into the main school building.

"I wanted in. He’s...my teacher as much as he is a teacher to all of you.” Hitoshi offered, his eyes shifting downward as he avoided the eyes that studied his every move- sounds of Mina’s cooing trickling down his back.

“Well, although the sentiment is appr-”

“I say he’s in!” Mina exclaimed, jumping up in her seat as she waved her hand in the air, “He’ll be a great help, and the more, the merrier, right?”

Her closest friends, consisting of the rest of the girls in the classroom immediately nodded, both backing Shinsou because of their friend’s stance on the matter and his sweet sentiment towards their teacher.

Mineta rubbed his chin, looking Shinsou up and down. Oh, this wouldn’t do. This wouldn’t do at all. There was already enough competition to deal with, and now this brooding miniature Aizawa was trying to butt in?

“Hmmm, I dunno guys, just-” before he could utter another word, a long pink tongue flew at him, smacking him across the face before reeling back to Asui.

The rest of the class shared looks and would pipe up to show their approval and disapproval of letting more people in on what was supposed to be a semi-covert operation.

Surprisingly, it was Ojirou who was the last to raise his hand, Hagakure quick to silence any other mouths to allow her friend to speak.

The blonde felt a purple gaze brush the back of his neck, his own eyes lowering to the ground. Shinsou barely paid attention to what he was saying, though, from what he could piece together, Ojirou was going on about how two others were already aware of what class 1-A was planning and something about having another helping hand wouldn’t be too bad.

The more exceptional details of his speech lost on him, Hitoshi instead studied each of the students. Most ignored him, instead devoting their attention to Ojirou. Now, whether it was out of respect for their friend or classmate or fear of him and his steely gaze was another matter entirely.

Midoriya blushed when he felt Hitoshi’s gaze, offering him a nervous smile and the smallest of waves before turning back to the conversation the class was having at that moment.

The blonde one with the black streak- Hitoshi wasn’t too familiar with that one, gave him the friendliest reaction by excitedly waving at him.

What a weirdo.

“Alright, although by a slim victory. We’ve decided that we can enlist your help.” Iida nodded, shooting Shinsou the most polite smile he could. He was class representative after all, so it was naturally his duty to speak on behalf of his classmates.

“Cool.” Shinsou replied, inspecting his fingernails for a moment before shifting his weight onto his other leg and leaning against the wall, “Though, you don’t really have a choice. I could’ve always gone and spilled your plans to Aizawa after all.

Although the unspoken notion was already in the minds of many in the room, Iida was the first to react to the subtle threat, “That would be extremely villainous of you to blackmail your fellow UA students! Don’t you want to be a hero?”

That line seemed to hit the wrong chord with the purple haired boy, though Shinsou decided to let it slide and bite back the urge to control class 1-A’s representative.

“I apologize,” Iida stammered, realizing that he shouldn’t be asking such questions to a general studies student. Especially one that was already trying so hard to join the hero program, “It was unbecoming of me!”

“Just get this meeting over with four eyes!” Bakugou yelled, slamming his heel against his desk to get everyone on track, leaning back into his chair as he propped his other leg on his desk. “Stop fucking wasting my time. I have things to do!”

Shinsou simply nodded along with the vulgar statement, wanting to go grab some food before he’d head to class.

“Okay, today we’re going to begin preparations and planning. We first need to scout out a venue,” Iida instructed, taking a glance down at the checklist he and Mineta were both secretly drafting yesterday. “Let’s keep in mind that the venue itself should not be pricy nor too large.”

“Ooo, let’s find a cute place!” Hagakure suggested, clapping her hands in excitement with all the ideas bouncing in her head. “I mean, there are cute cafes we can rent out right? Or enter a reservation. Maybe one of those cute maid-”

“I like the maid cafe idea,” Mineta agreed, his immediate response stopping the class as all eyes locked onto his small body.

“Okay...” Hagakure drawled, her eyes shifting anywhere but the perverse classmate of hers, “We’re definitely not having Aizawa sensei’s birthday at a maid cafe.

Everyone aside from the grape haired child nodded, agreeing that it neither suited their teacher’s preference or was a suitable place for all of the students to hang around in.

“Um, maybe a cat cafe could work...?” Kouda suggested, the usually silent boy finally speaking up. “I’m sure I can use my quirk to keep them calm while we decorate and set up.”

Momo smiled, finding the idea to be spectacular, “Thank you so much Kouda, Hagakure can use the internet to look up a good spot nearby and I can pay for it.”

“No.”

Everyone turned their heads over to Todoroki, who churned his thoughts around in his mind.

“Why not?” Momo asked, concerned that she was doing something wrong- saying something wrong.

“I can pay for it,” Todoroki explained, his thoughts drifting over to his father for a mere second before he pushed that man out of his mind for good, “I have someone who would be... willing to pay for the venue.”

“Oh really? That’s wonderful!” Momo sighed, relieved that she wasn't presumptuous when she volunteered to pay for the venue.

“Wait, what about decorations, Iida?” Uraraka asked, the talk about the venue bringing about the topic, “How are we gonna decorate it?”

“Minimally? I don’t think we need much in the way of decorations.”

“Ooo, two of us can go buy them!” Ochako suggested- though she had no idea who would be shopping for supplies.

“Hey, let me do something!” Mina whined, giving the desk a slap with each syllable, “I love to shop!”

Tokoyami glanced her way before raising his hand, “I can come along as well...to keep her from going overboard.”

“HEY.”

Iida seemed to like this group, though his eyes shifted over to Shinsou. He needed something to do, didn’t he? “Maybe Shinsou could tag along too!”

“Wait.” Shinsou blurted, eyes widening ever so slightly to indicate his surprise, “I-”

“Oooh,” Mina cooed, rushing over to the poor boy and throwing her arm around his shoulders, “This is gonna be so. Much. Fun!”

“Alright, alright. Please return to your seat, Mina,” Iida sighed, letting the pink skinned girl settle herself and release poor Shinsou before he gave a curt bow, “I think I can happily call off this meeting for now. Please eat and gain some energy before class begins everyone!”

“Yes, sir!”

It took five days.

Five days until the students at UA could get permission to leave campus and follow along with their plans.

Though it was now Sunday, the one day the students had off, Shouto and Hagakure both decided to make the best of it and sign out with Present Mic before heading into town and touring the streets.

“Hey, Todoroki! Look!” Hagakure beamed, bouncing to show her excitement since it wasn’t like he could see her facial expressions.

Shouto, who was busy peering into a nearby cafe, turned his head to see the invisible girl put on a silly hat from the neighboring accessories shop. “What do you think?”

“Shouldn’t we stay focused?” he asked, ignoring the hat as he scanned down the other side of the street. No cafes in sight.

“Well,” Hagakure shrugged, putting the hat back onto the rack whence it came from, “We can have fun while we look for a venue, right?”

“We have to locate the venue today if we’re to set up everything in time. So is it really wise to waste time like this?” Shouto mused aloud, fighting the urge to rub his temples as he continued to walk down the street, making a turn at the corner with Hakagure whined.

It was a little amusing to see her fussy attitude, Shouto keeping his eyes focused on the shops the passed before speaking over his shoulder, “Maybe after we find the place, we can have some fun.”

That sentence alone brightened Hagakure’s mood, the girl snatching up his hand and dragging Shouto as she took the lead to frantically look for the perfect birthday venue.

“Glad to see you’re finally into this,” Shouto joked, keeping pace with each of Toru’s steps, passerby shifting to one side or the other to let the two UA students by.

“Duh!” Hagakure teased, “I really wanted that hat you know.”

The two came to a skidding stop, pausing at the sounds of mewling and meows coming from the cafe across the street. The two looked at each other and then back at the venue, Hagakure giving Shouto another look just to ensure that the two were on the page (In which they were).

This was it.

The perfect venue.

Crossing the street, the cafe door gave way with a tiny ring of a bell. A few heads turned to the students as a waitress walked over with two menus tucked under her arm. “Hello! Is it a table for two?”

“Actually,” Shouto interjected, giving the place a cursory glance just to make sure this was the perfect venue before continuing, “If we could, can we speak to your management?”

The waitress blinked, confused and unable to see Hagakure’s frantic nodding. Sparing a small glance over her shoulder at her coworker who was operating a cash register, she gave the two a curt bow before dismissing herself.

“Look at the kitties, Todoroki!” Toru whisper-yelled, eyes twinkling as she hunched down to get a better look at a rather fat feline who basked in the sun’s radiance. “Do you like cats?”

Shouto kneeled down next to her, giving the cat a small scratch behind its ear before shrugging, “I guess. There are a lot of strays in my neighborhood.”

“I just love cute things, like cats! They always get scared of me though.” Hagakure admitted, petting the cat, only for the cat’s eyes to widen and hiss at the unknown source of the sudden touch. “I just don’t think animals like me to be honest...”

“Understandable,” Shouto nodded, calming the cat by giving it a few scratches behind the ear and neck where Hagakure was just touching, his fingers occasionally brushing against her invisible ones.

“Sometimes I just wish people could see me, you know? Or that I could see myself for that matter,” Hagakure admitted, pulling back her hand for the sake of the poor cat and her pink cheeks. “Maybe that way, animals like me more.”

“I can imagine how others might react. Never knowing if you were there or not, spying on them.” Shouto admitted.

Silence.

Odd. Usually, Hagakure always had something to say. Did he overstep? “It still is an extremely useful quirk-”

“It’s not that,” Toru interjected, her shifting shoes indicating that she was rocking back and forth a little, knees pressed against her chest. “You don’t...You don’t really think I’d do that, right?”

“You’re awfully serious all of a sudden.”

“Because I am being serious!” Hagakure huffed, her pouty tone failing to sell her point, Shouto’s face growing a small smile to see her more characteristic behavior return to her.

“I apologize. It’s extremely noticeable when you change your behavior.”

The words that teetered on the brink of expression were suddenly cut off as the waitress called them, her voice accompanied by clicking heels.

The source of the clicking echoed from behind them, alerting the two of the position of the waitress who proceeded to escort them into a room down the hall, filled with office supplies and a woman sitting at a desk. “If you need anything else, please inform one of the staff.” She reassured.

And then the waitress was gone, leaving the two with the manager who looked up and smiled, inquiring as to why they wanted to speak to her. The store itself wasn’t really open for hires after all.

“We actually were hoping to rent this place out,” Hagakure explained, filling in the women on the nature of the deal they were hoping to strike. One day, a day and night max. All they needed were the cats and store itself, including the kitchen.

“I’m afraid I can’t do that.” the manager sighed, “My business needs to open tomorrow, and all these cats here are mine. And most come with me when I go home for the night.”

“I can cover the expenses. All of them.” Shouto offered, his “emergency” credit card at the ready. “It’s fine if the cats can’t remain.”

“It is?” Hagakure asked, though her question was mostly rhetorical.

The manager was dubious. Not fully believing that two high school students could afford to rent out a business for a day. At least, until she noticed the name the credit card was under.

Huh. A Todoroki?

“Seems like you really can afford to pay,” The manager mused, pointing out the name on the credit card, though Shouto’s facial expression didn’t change all too much. “I’ll let you use this place for one night, and the entire day of that surprise party you’re going to throw- so long as you clean the place afterward and try not to damage anything. Got it?”

The two nodded, the manager and Shouto taking care of the payment while Hagakure dismissed herself to bother watch the cats once more.

Shouto was out in a blink of an eye, returning his card into his wallet before leaving the store with Hagakure, taking a breath of the cold city air.

“So, can we have fun now?” Hagakure asked, already ready to go shopping for cool knick knacks- maybe even a gift for Aizawa while they were at it!

“Of course,” Shouto nodded, giving a text into the class 1-A group chat to fill everyone in on their progress, “Someone else can take care of recruiting all the cats.

With their mission being done, Hagakure took the reigns and lead the way around the city, though her speed was slower and easier to follow. Noticing a stall, she brought the two of them over to try on the pro-hero bootleg merchandise.

As she tried on a Presentation Michael t-shirt, holding the shirt up to her chest, Shouto slid in next to her, admiring the poorly drawn renditions of his father on a pair of socks. “To answer your question from before...no.”

“Huh?” Hagakure asked, turning her head at Shouto, torso following to indicate that her attention was on him.

“I’m not afraid of you spying on me or any of our classmates.”

His attention returned to the socks, wondering how upset his father would get if he gifted them to the pro hero for father’s day.

“You can’t just leave it like that,” Toru whined, clearly displeased with the answer- as reassuring as it was. “Why aren’t you suspicious of me?”

“Easy.” Shouto shrugged, taking a pair before heading up to the cashier to buy them, “I trust you.”

Hagakure stopped, almost dropping the bootleg shirt. Though the realities of her quirk were never something Toru liked to dwell on, it had its moments- plaguing her headspace with doubt and angst. But to be consoled like this- by him of all people!

“No fair,” Toru whined, shaking her fists as she hurried after him, ready to give his back a few playful beats with her fists, “You can’t just say something so cool and walk away like that! Drama queen!”

“Can’t fucking believe he has me catering for this shitty event.” Bakugou hissed, picking up the groceries as they were dropped off at the class 1-A doorstep. “And all the help I have comes from a mute like you.”

Kouda decided that it was best to not speak, in case he angered the already temperamental student even more as the two loaded the common room kitchen with all the foodstuffs Bakugou had placed in order with the school. Sero and Midoriya helping to guise it as anything but surprise party supplies.

“B-Bakugou...”

Silence.

“Ahem. Bakugou-”

“What?!” Bakugou yelled, all the way across the room as he stored the vegetables in the fridge, not bothering to look up from his task.

Kouda gulped, trying to figure out how to break the sudden news to Bakugou as he looked around the entrance to the dorms, hoping to have missed something.

“DAMN IT. Can’t you speak up?!” Bakugou hissed, already growing irritated at the reserved, weak nature of his partner.

Having lost his voice under all the yelling, Koji just gestured at the entryway.

The ash blonde stopped, placing the last of the onions in the fridge before slowly shutting it close with all the restraint he could muster. “What?” He hissed, looking over at Kouda to see what the shy boy was on about.

Then he saw it.

Kouda immediately paled the moment eye contact was made- holding his hands up in the air in surrender. Though the punch he was expecting from Bakugou was replaced with a passive aggressive bump in the shoulder as Katsuki stalked over to the doorway, let out a small string of curses under his breath.

Shit. They were missing bags of food.

Bags that he fucking knew had arrived.

“Who the fuck took our shit?!” He screeched to no one in particular, Katsuki’s temper ready to burst as small, mini explosions popped from his fingertips.

Kouda offered the smallest shrug, still looking around near the entrance for any sign of the missing groceries. Tapping his forehead, he signaled to Katsuki that someone, maybe one of them, had just forgotten to order the needed food.

That was definitely not the right thing to say, the moment the words were uttered bringing Katsuki’s palm inches from the back of Kouda’s head. “OH. So I’m incompetent enough to just forget to order some fucking groceries, huh?”

Koji frantically shook his head, eyes wide as he backed away from the ash blonde as fast as he could. He didn’t mean to offend at all!

“Grow a spine,” Bakugou muttered, not wanting to hear any more from Kouda as he surveyed the horizon at any neighboring dorms. “Obviously, someone jacked our shit.”

But who could they be?

Kouda noticed Bakugou walking down the path that looped around all the dorms, beginning to follow along Bakugou’s line of thinking as Katsuki tsked, still unable to find anyone within his peripheral vision.

“Either they want to fuck with 1-A, or they want to fuck with teach’s birthday.” He decided, coming to a stop before shoving his hands into his pockets and turning right around to head back into the dorms without a word.

Kouda gestured down the path, wondering just why he was suddenly abandoning the search, though he quickly realized that with the time crunch, they would have to work with what they got in order to save on time.

“We don’t have-” Bakugou began to explain, knowing that he was probably confusing the kid. However, something stopped Katsuki in his tracks, his left hand releasing an explosion that made Kouda back away a couple steps for safety.

A light smoke wafted around the room, blocking Kouda’s line of sight. Though, the boy was smart enough by now to know not to ask any dumb questions like “What’s going on” or “Did something happen” when he could easily see for himself by moving closer.

He’d just move closer, very, very slowly.

“Okay. We’re going after the fucking food.” Bakugou decided, brushing past Kouda and out the door, leaving Kouda gawking at the empty counters, all barren of bags and food alike.

No wonder why he was so upset...

Joining up with Bakugou outside, Kouda caught his breath while Bakugou stalked down the path to the class 1-B dorm. He wondered why Katsuki was walking out again.

But then, a light bulb, at that very moment, brightened itself in Kouda’s mind. Did he think that class 1-B was behind this? Better yet, was one of the class 1-B kids behind this? The two classes were rivals after all- so it was only natural for pranks like this to happen, right?

Once they reached the class 1-B dormitory, Katuski knocked against the door for the both of them- though knocked was a heavy understatement, as the pounding of his fist brought an irritated Kendo to the door.

“Um, what do you two want?” She asked, clearly in the middle of something before the two showed up to her doorstep, “We’re kinda busy here.”

“Shut it.” Bakugou hissed, patience already wearing thin as he slammed his fist against the doorframe, “Give us the fucking food back before I pop your little head open with my bare hands.”

Kendo cocked an eyebrow, apparently amused taken aback by the sudden threats. Were these two really going to come out of nowhere with threats and baseless claims? Shaking her head at the notion, she placed her hands on her hips.

“We don’t have your food. In fact, we’ve been here all day.” She explained, keeping her voice as calm as she could manage, although, her eyes were speaking volumes in her stead. Her gaze alone making Kouda just want to leave the class B students alone before they created an even bigger disturbance.

Bakugou paused for a moment, reading her facial expression.

Huh.

Didn’t seem like she was lying.

“Where’s the brat,” he asked, eyes shifting to the background where the rest of the class was hanging out. A few of the students, names all lost on him, watched and whispered amongst themselves, which only fueled his irritation. The fuckers were probably just waiting for an excuse to hate him and his class even more.

And it looks like they just got it.

Kendo frowned, following his gaze to her classmates, “Monoma signed himself out today. He said he was going to head out today.” Craning her head back to him, she gestured with her hand towards the class 1-A dorms where they should probably be heading back. “He’s not here, alright?”

She paused for a mere moment before turning back to her friends and shooing them away, allowing them to head back to what they were doing. Dealing with the boys in front of her, she ushered the two out from the doorframe and shut the door, ignoring the curses coming from Katsuki.

“Listen.” She sighed, addressing both Bakugou and Kouda, “You can’t just walk in here and start blaming us for everything that’s going on with your class.”

Kouda could barely listen the moment Bakugou engaged in a “conversation” with the representative from 1-B. Their words all fighting amongst each other as they filled the air with chaos and anger.

“And you,” Kendo added, bringing Kouda from reality, the shy student straightening up under her gaze, “I can’t believe you’d stay silent and let him just trample around like this. Bakugou is just going to get your class into more trouble unless you all as a class do something about it, you know?”

Wait. Kouda paused.

Oh goodness...

Was he really responsible in some way?

Kouda nervously toyed with his hands, twiddling with his thumbs and finding great interest in his nails as he realized all the changes he had to speak up. To calm Katsuki down and prevent this entire nasty confrontation from ever happening.

All chances he squandered.

A form moved in front of him, though not entirely as Bakugou glared daggers at Kendo. “Fuck off. No one tells me what to do, got it?” He hissed, venom dripping from every word, “If you really want to preach responsibility then you should have taken care of that asswipe long ago.”

Kouda couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Was his classmate- as mean-spirited as he was, defending him? His words spoke in volume, but his actions screamed his intent as Katsuki placed himself physically between the two.

“Come on,” he snapped, grabbing Kouda by the neck before leading him away from Kendo and back onto the concrete path to the dorms. Once they were a distance away, he released the shy boy and shoved his hands in his pockets, brooding to himself.

Kouda opened his mouth, feeling it dry as words tried to form themselves. His gaping attracting Bakugou’s slightly confused gaze. But it was under his gaze, that Koji finally got the push he needed to speak up.

“...thank you.”

Bakugou blinked. Was this the first time the mute spoke to him? His words were barely audible, though that certainly wasn’t surprising to someone who surrounded himself with explosions everytime he used his quirk. “Whatever.”

As they made their walk of shame back to the dorms, Katsuki cursed himself internally. He let his guard down. And now look what happened!

All the fucking food was gone.

Kouda’s said something, something Bakugou ignored, still brooding over his failure. Shit, even Deku could have done a better job now that he thought about it.

“...Bakugou.”

Still ignoring Kouda, Katsuki continued stomping along the pavement. Kouda stopping the grumpy blonde with a sharp tug onto his arm, Katsuki wheeling around to glare at the quiet boy.

“What the fuck do you want?”

Kouda stammered, words failing him. The next few moments were filled with a multitude of attempts to speak. Jeez, was he really that scary to Koji? Katsuki stopped walking and turned, quirking an eyebrow at the flustered Kouda.

“U-Um...”

“Yeah?”

“Someone told me that they saw someone up ahead in the dorms. Someone strange...”

Wow. Full sentences. Katsuki would’ve given that a small, sarcastic mental round of applause if it wasn’t for the content of his words.

“Who said that?”

Kouda averted his eyes to the ground below, a tiny trail of ants passing by. “One of the ants did. They said they smelled someone off.”

Katsuki frowned, eyebrows furrowing on confusion. So it had to be someone who wasn’t usually in the dorms, right? One of the teachers?

Or was it their culprit?

“Alright.” Katsuki decided, turning right around and beginning to quicken his pace towards the dorm, “We go with my plan.”

“W-What plan?” Kouda asked, suddenly being dragged along with Katsuki towards the entrance of the dorm, though they stopped there and didn’t enter.

Katsuki spared Kouda small glance, “Just get her over here.” Then he began to yell, calling for the culprit to come out before he gets even angrier.

Monoma walked out- taking his sweet damn time doing so. Taking a causal bite into an apple he had snagged from the fridge, the class B student leaned against the doorframe, “Such a shame you two didn’t bother to check any of the rooms for the missing food.”

Kouda moved to follow Bakugou’s instruction, but the ash blonde had his arm and dragged him back and behind him. Confusion was plastered all over the silent boy’s face. Didn’t he want Kouda to get Kendo over here? Then why wasn’t he letting him go??

“How the hell did you move all that stuff?” Katsuki questioned, already digging through his memory for any quirks that could allow Monoma to do something of that magnitude so quickly.

“Of course you wouldn’t know, you don’t pay attention to anyone other than yourself, do you Bakugou?” Monoma sneered, his other hand pulling out a pair of horns, twirling them in the air.

So it was that Pony girl’s quirk, huh?

Bakugou slowly pieced everything together, gritting his teeth at how obvious it was. “So I’m guessing you noticed the delivery and used that Pony girl’s quirk to steal the stuff. That carrot head knows you though, so you weren’t lying when you said you were heading out. Right?”

“Whoa, looks like we’ve got a Sherlock Holmes over here,” Monoma gasped, taking another casual bite from his- er, their apple. “I wonder if you’re sharp enough to notice that there’s a definite limit in how much a dorm can order. And that deliveries are usually given to us first years last.”

Both Kouda and Katsuki fought the urge to look at each other, knowing that today’s delivery to the dorm was early and large- larger than usual.

“Made me wonder if this was UA giving special treatment to class A yet again! I mean, look at all the produce you guys have,” He waved, gesturing to the stacks of food behind him before sinking his teeth into another bite of apple. “Really makes a person wonder, right?”

Kouda gulped. Normally, Monoma was out of his mind when accusing UA of treating one class above another and his tendencies to nitpick at the differences between the classes usually got him nowhere.

But they did get special treatment this time.

It was Mic who arranged for the large delivery to go through unnoticed by their homeroom teacher- with permission of Principal Nezu of all people. So, at least in this case...

Monoma was right.

Bakugou however, didn’t care for whether or not he was in the right or wrong. Facts were facts. And if Monoma knew of the party they were planning for Aizawa, nothing would please the kid better then to either spoil the surprise or hold it over their heads.

Kouda racked his brain, trying to figure out what Katsuki wanted him to do. How was he supposed to signal Kendo without moving? And more importantly, without tipping off Monoma?

After the little argument between Bakugou and her, it was only natural that she had a little suspicion in her mind. So she was probably a little more on guard for anything out of the ordinary. That, Kouda was certain of.

So what would tip her off?

His mind then went back to her words, Kendo sounding disappointed to see his quietness when Bakugou was behaving the way he usually was.

Was that the key? Maybe if he yelled loudly enough, she’d notice and come to check out the noise.

No. Just hollering and yelling wouldn’t do anything. Monoma wasn’t an idiot. He was smart enough to figure that the quiet kid suddenly yelling was a huge red flag.

But, maybe. Just maybe. It’ll work.

Remembering more of Kendo’s words, about how Bakugou’s behavior would only lead to more trouble, Kouda pipped up.

“We have a good reason for buying all of the food.”

Katsuki immediately turned and glared at him. What the fuck was he doing?! They were not going to tell Monoma anything. The. End. End of story.

“Uh, huh. Sure,” Monoma rolled his eyes, clearly not believing the shy kid. I mean, what kind of reason was there to buy all this excess food? “And what occasion calls for this much food?”

Kouda closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath. Alright. Alright. He could do it. Just take a deep breath and channel Bakugou Katsuki.

“N-None of your business!”

Katsuki bit his lip to keep from snorting at that attempt. Jeez, this guy was too much. It was almost sad.

Monoma, on the other hand, was irritated to get that from the quietest kid in class A. “Oh really, then I’m sure that Mr. Aizawa could give me a better look as to why you guys are getting all this stuff, right?”

Kouda clenched his fists at his side, raising his shoulders as he looked straight forward at Monoma.

Cold blue orbs stared back.

Okay, no. Not looking at his eyes anymore. Too stressful. Glancing instead between his eyes, Kouda frowned, “Of course, you would.”

The jab of his barbed words clearly got Katsuki’s attention and more importantly-Monoma’s ire.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he pressed, trying to figure out where Kouda was leading this train of thought.

What did he mean? Kouda wondered as well, trying to figure out where to go from here. He needed to push some buttons. Think, Kouda, think!

“I...I mean, just look at you,” he managed, gesturing up and down at the blonde who was more confused than offended at this point, “It’s only natural that you’d rely on someone else to do the heavy lifting.”

Monoma glared, clearly not liking where this was going. Good. Kouda was getting somewhere.

“You can’t do anything on your own. You have to use our own teacher against us. And your own quirk even uses the quirks of others too.”

Monoma flinched a bit, the twitch of his eye keying Katsuki and Kouda. Obviously, it was a raw nerve.

Knowing that he couldn’t possibly raise his voice the way Katsuki can, Kouda opted to do the exact opposite, lowering his voice to a more comfortable whisper, slipping his hands in his pocket and leaning forward a little the way he’s seen Katsuki do numerous times before thinking of the harshest, more Bakugou Katsuki thing he could say, “How does it feel? To be nothing but a quirkless child without someone holding your hand?”

Even Bakugou flinched at that. A low blow, but one he could respect. Monoma’s outraged cry being enough to signal Kendo if the entirety of the conversation didn’t.

Monoma, clearly insulted and bitter by the blatant reminder of his faults, was ready to throw his own words right back at the child who relied on animals to do his work for him, but was interrupted by not only a frustrated Kendo, marching over to them at this very moment, but a defensive Katsuki who shifted from his place in the sidelines to right smack dab in the middle of the two boys.

“Monoma!” Kendo hissed, hands on her hips, “I thought you said you were leaving today!”

“I was, I was,” he reassured, giving a nervous chuckle under the sharp look of his class representative, “Just got a little, sidetracked?”

“Right.” she deadpanned, fist getting ready to whap him in the back of the head, but Monoma wasn’t in the mood, waving her off before leaving of his own fruition.

“I-I’m sorry,” Kouda apologized to Kendo, waiting till after Monoma had left the scene, “I had to distract him with some harsh words...”

Kendo shrugged, giving him a gentle smile, “He recovers quickly, he’ll be back on his feet in no time. Thanks for the commotion though. I just wonder why he-” she stopped, looking though the open doors of the dorm and into the kitchen area. “Oh. That’s why.”

Figuring that they could trust her, Kouda smiled softly, a small heat growing in his face, “It’s for Mr. Aizawa’s birthday. Could you please...?”

Kendo nodded, “I’m not too keen on keeping secrets from Vlad sensei, but for the sake of your teacher’s birthday, sure.” She paused, grinning before she added, “Just as long as you keep the same secret when Vlad’s birthday nears.”

“Whatever, he’s not our problem,” Katsuki shrugged, heading inside and leaving the two alone so he could get back to work putting away the food.

“Could I come over later...?” Kouda asked, stopping Kendo before she made her way back to her own dormitory.

“What for?” she asked, clearly confused as to why he wanted to drop on by.

Kouda looked down, Monoma’s flinching still etched in his memory, “To talk to Monoma.”

Finally comprehending his words and his intention, Kendo clasped Kouda’s hands into hers for a moment, giving him a small wink, “Alright, be sure to bring over a sweet or two. It wins him over every time.”

And with that, Kendo returned to the dorms, leaving Kouda standing awkwardly in front of the dorms.

Trudging back in, Kouda barely made it a few steps in before Katsuki slapped the back of his back, throwing his arm over Kouda’s shoulders. “You absolutely sucked. You could barely intimidate that kid.” Though his words were harsh, the sly grin on his face certainly wasn’t.

Releasing his grip on Kouda, Katsuki moved ahead to put back a few jars in the correct shelves. Kouda helped, a small part of him feeling a little swell of pride around Bakugou. He clearly had made a good impression on the ash blonde at the very least.

“Um...yeah, you’re right. Thank you.”

“Huh?” Bakugou blurted in confusion, wondering just what he was being thanked for and why. After all, all that outside was all Kouda. Right?

Kouda just continued to put away more bundles of produce, “All I did out there...was copy you.”

Katsuki paused. Did Kouda just turn his own insult right back at him?

...

Maybe there was hope for this kid after all.

#bnha #mha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #General Fic #bakugou katsuki #Koji Koda #bnha monoma #neito monoma #katsuki bakugou #kouda kouji #shouto todoroki #todoroki shouto #hagakure tooru #bnha shouto

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wanna-one-imagine · 7 years

Text

Wanna One Hwang Minhyun Father+Husband AU

Put these two requests together for a couple anons, enjoy! (You + Hwang Minhyun)

Well before getting married, you two dated for a while obviously so we’ll start there

He wasn’t the most... experienced in love (lol.) and even though he did date some people before, he was pretty innocent with the whole thing

Basically a kid lol

But even though it was kind of shocking to you, when he honestly and directly confessed to you, you could see his intentions were good and pure

You liked how genuine he was, not just with loving you, but with literally everything else he does: a hardworking, respectable man

Even though he has the appearance of a literal god, he didn’t seem to realize it or take much advantage of it LOL

His eyes were only on you

He’d get shy a lot and just giggle, but as time passed he got more used to being in a relationship/skinship/etc.

His marriage proposal to you was an attempt to be romantic

You can imagine a lot of internet searching went on because it was cliche as fuCK LOL

It was in private, but there were roses and candles and stuff like that

You couldn’t help bursting into laughter at his gestures that were just so soft and cheesy but you loved it because you loved him, and he was happy that you were happy

You two had a quiet ceremony with just close friends; he was embarrassed the whole time but it was super cute

He STILL got shy even when innocently kissing you at the ceremony

Soft whispers in front of everyone:

“Hwang Minhyun, we’ve gone farther than this what’s your problem”

“STOP I’m nervous leave me alone”

Life before and after marrying him was pretty much the same, except for the fact that he’d do cheesy things like call you “wifey”

OKay so we all know Mr. Emperor here is a clean freak

He would drive you crazy with all his dusting and mopping and scrubbing and organizing blargh

Like it’s nice to be clean but he takes it to another level LOL

But being clean is better than being dirty ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So you helped him out, leading to cute domestic times washing dishes together and doing laundry with each other

Life overall wasn’t that eventful for quite a while other than the occasional vacation, but then wow you found out you were pregnant congrats ! ! !!

You were wondering how to tell Minhyun, like if you should make an event out of it or something

You decided to put the pregnancy test in a little cute box, but while you were preparing the box with a note and baby booties, Minhyun walked into the room you were in and saw the test that was just sitting on the counter

You barely noticed him walking in lol; he picked up the test and walked behind you

“What are you doing? Are you packing something? What’s this thing?” he asked you, holding out the test in front of your face

... bruh

You were taken aback at the fact that he destroyed your plan, but you were even more shocked that he didn’t know what a pregnancy test looked like

“Minhyun. Seriously.”

“Seriously what?”

“Do you really not know what that is? Minhyun that’s a pregnancy test.”

“What? Why are you packing this?”

“Minhyun. I’m literally pregnant. Do I seriously have to spell it out for you, you totally ruined the moment dumbass”

“wAIT WHAT??!?//?!?! YOU’RE PREGNANT?!??! DOES THIS MEAN I’M GOING TO BE A DADDD WHAT NO WAYYY” Minhyun ignored your exasperation but his freakout just made you smile anyway

He immediately sat you down and started asking if you needed anything and put his ear on your stomach to see if he could hear things

“You’re so weird”

“Do you want pickles? I heard pregnant women like pickles,” Minhyun asked you, a completely genuine and concerned expression on his face

thiS BOY....

Basically your entire pregnancy process was filled with this nonsense (but it was sweet nonsense), and he really was helpful; his sweetness usually brightened your mood

He was always there for you; reliable af

When you first had your baby he was literally too scared to even touch it at first but once he held on to it for the first time he couldn’t let go

When you took your child home, he wouldn’t stop fucking staring at it LOL

Anyway in the process of raising the kid, Minhyun never failed to attempt to inflict his influence of cleanliness

He wanted the kid’s first word to be “clean” no joke

And when the child was old enough, he would always clean with them and teach them his ways: most effective techniques to dust and keep the living spaces spotless

“Remember. Dust is the enemy. Repeat after me: Dust. Is. The. Enemy.”

There was no stopping him, you just let him do his thing. There was no way Minhyun would let his offspring be any less neat than he was

welP you can expect chaos ensued when the “uncles” came over

Whenever Minhyun invited his friends over, some of them (cougH JAEHWAN) would make it a point to eat as messily as possible and influence your child LOL

Minhyun had mental breakdowns every time jfc

All the other moms you knew (and just other female friends) expressed how much they adored Minhyun: he was just so darn handsome

But little did they know how much of a weirdo he was lol

Overall though, Minhyun was an extremely caring dad yay

You two are always helping one another out, in general life and emotionally as well

Is the kind of partner and dad who never hangs up first when you’re on a call with them; the kind of dad who makes sure everyone else is settled and eating properly before he even touches his meal

Would always sing and play instruments with and for the child

Is a totall fluff for being a parent and treats your kid like royalty, giving them the highest praise when they clean up while eating or after playing with their toys

“I have done such a great job as a parent. I feel like I can die satisfied, (Y/N), you know what I mean?”

“No, but whatever humps your camel man”

He never watched chlidren’s programs on TV, instead watched cooking shows and musical performances. it was weird

Doesn’t read bedtime stories to the child, but instead deep poetry and song lyrics... lol.

Is a total pushover when it comes to things you or the child want

If you even jokingly say you want something completely ridiculous, he’d be like “really?” and you’d have to clarify that you were kidding

Because if you or your child ever even gave the hint of wanting something, he would always be paying attention; and you bet that will be a gift for the nearest holiday

He’s incredibly intelligent and practical (except with relationships), and his advice always helps you think clearly when making decisions, or when your child needs help on something

For example, when you two were deciding what car to buy, he’d have done all the research possible, so that when you two went to the dealership he bargained clearly and efficiently to get you the best deal

You honestly had no idea what he was talking about most of the time during that experience, but he just had printouts from the internet and flyers and there was no way he would pay more than he needed to for the car

that seems random but he’s just really smart for most things it’s incredible...

But then after all that he can’t manage to get romance-y with you without getting all mushy and embarrassed LOL it’s like he turns into different people, but you’re glad you can make him feel that way ;) heheh

Minhyun is self-described “conservative” and even though he’s confused or strange sometimes, he is just one of the most sincere, kindhearted people you’d ever met and it inspires you to be your best self :’)

A happy family full of love and smiles it’s adorable im crying

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hekate1308 · 7 years

Text

The Baggage We Carry, Chapter Three

Read it on AO3

Castiel continued to annoy him, and Dean couldn’t even say why. He always sat near him, and he never failed to greet him with a “Hello, Dean” every time he saw him; that was hardly a reason to think he was obnoxious.

And yet...

“Why would he even read Bronte when Jane Austen exists?”

“Between this and your love for plaid” Crowley said slowly, “I’ve never understood why your parents haven’t caught on to your sexuality”.

“Shut up. Seriously though – why?”

“Squirrel, this is getting ridiculous. We should make out.”

That was abrupt even for Crowley’s standards.

“Why?”

“Because” he answered simply, “there might come a time when we don’t anymore”.

So they did, even if Dean thought his best friend was really freaking weird.

Here was the thing though: Crowley’s weirdness he understood.

He just didn’t get Castiel Novak.

One day, he heard Gordon talk about Aaron once again in the corridor, and since it was Gordon, of course he was complaining about the “fag” on the team.

“Hey Gordon” Dean called out, “Remember when Bass won the round against you last week? Sure put you down”.

He winked at him though, hating himself for it but making sure he thought he was only kidding.

Castiel, who had been walking behind him, as he only realized when he started talking, hadn’t seen the wink though.

“That was kind” he told Dean.

He blinked.

“What?”

“You’re kind”.

And with that, he was gone.

Weirdo.

He mentioned him at dinner too.

“There’s this strange new kid in school. Castiel Novak.”

“What kind of name is that?” Dad asked.

“Castiel is the angel of solitude” Sam replied automatically. Nerd.

Mom smiled. “I always said angels were watching over you both”.

“Thanks, Mom. That thought is not creepy at all. He just... he stares at people. A lot. And he really loves lessons”.

Dad smirked. “Of course you think that’s strange”.

Sam sniggered and, as usual, Dean went back to eat with a diminished appetite.

The next day he and Crowley went to the library after school. He might have told his parents he had a date.

Mrs. Singer beamed when she saw them.

“Dean, Crowley!”

She’d tried calling his friend Fergus once, seen his face, and never done it again. Dean loved her.

“Why don’t you sit down, I’m sure I have pie here somewhere...”

As if she hadn’t brought one with her every day since she’d told him to come see her.

They sat down after Dean had pulled a book about bioengineering from a shelf.

“You know, you could actually study that, there are places for it” Crowley said. “You don’t have to sneak around reading books”.

“’Course I do. I don’t see a lot of time to study when I’m busy at the garage”.

In earlier years, Dean had enjoyed helping his Dad out whenever he could; these days, instead of being reminded of a future he didn’t want, he rather hung out with Crowley or took some time for himself.

“There you are”.

It was pecan pie too. Mom didn’t make it often because no one except Dean really liked it, so that was a plus.

“Thank you, Mrs. Singer”.

“Oh Dean, call me Karen. Both of you, actually; you’re quite old enough for that now”. She ruffled his hair and left them.

Karen. Huh.

“Sometimes I wonder if I had turned out differently if my mother acted just a bit like that” Crowley drawled, digging into his own piece.

“Where’s she now, by the way?”

“Miami, hunting down Republican millionaires. One day she might actually get one of them to marry her.”

“Rich stepdad. I fail to see the problem”.

“I only hope I’m eighteen by then, otherwise I’ll be sent to boarding school faster than you can blink.”

“As if you wouldn’t be expelled right away”.

Crowley smirked.

Sometimes life wasn’t that bad after all.

Over the next few weeks, Dean tried to figure out Castiel Novak for no other reason than it was slowly driving him insane.

And there wasn’t even anything to figure out.

One evening, he and Lisa went to the movies – they’d decided that they might not make a good couple, but they could always stay friends – and he asked her.

“Do you know anything about Castiel Novak?”

She frowned.

“The one with the blue eyes, right? Quiet?”

“That’s him.”

“He’s in my French class, but other than that... Why do you ask?”

He shrugged.

“Just wanted to know. Weird guy”.

“Weird but friendly. Really helped Sophie with her phrases last week.”

“Good for him”.

That didn’t exactly help. He’d already known the guy was friendly, hell, he’d told him he was kind when there was no reason to, and he continued to greet him.

But then, hadn’t he thought him dumb before, when Dean had told him he had no reason to focus on school?

Contradictory, he decided. That was what Castiel was, contradictory.

Also, why did he always wear a trench coat to school like he was crossplaying Constantine? He’d got used to Crowley’s suit over the years (he couldn’t imagine him in anything else, to be honest) but for some reason that coat...

He was careful not to mention Castiel again to his family. They might have come to the wrong conclusion.

Not that he was interested. The guy was just weird.

Plain and simple.

Things started to stop being plain and simple when Miss Rachel decided to assign partners for a project.

Damn it, he probably wouldn’t end up with Aaron but some idiot he’d have to make believe Dean didn’t actually want the work.

Actually, he thought it could be kind of neat to learn more about the Philippines, but he had a reputation to maintain.

He woke up from his musings when his name was called.

“Dean Winchester and Castiel Novak” Miss Rachel read, probably thinking her new favourite could reign Dean in a bit.

He almost groaned as he turned to his left. As always, Castiel had greeted him with a polite “Hello, Dean” and proceeded to ignore him.

Now those bright blue eyes were looking at him and Dean found it suddenly hard to swallow. He nodded at him.

Castiel nodded right back.

Okay then. At least he didn’t seem upset.

He approached him at the end of the lesson.

“Alright” he said, “How do you want to do this?”

Castiel squinted and tilted his head to the side.

“What do you mean?”

“The project. You know, where and when do you wanna meet up?”

“Ah, I see. I apologize; I couldn’t decide whether you would be one of those who wished me to do all the work and get the credit afterwards. I am glad to see you are not”.

What surprised Dean was that he hadn’t been sure. Wouldn’t he automatically think that was the case?

“Yeah, well... Wanna meet up at the library?”

At the next moment he wished he hadn’t said that. The library was one of his hiding places where he could be himself; bringing a stranger just felt... plain weird.

But Castiel only smiled.

“Today after school?”

“Okay. Meet you at the school door?”

Castiel nodded and Dean hurried away.

He did what he always did when he wanted to really talk about what was going on: spend his next break alone and trust Crowley to find him. He could have texted him, but sometimes he liked to see how long it took him.

Five minutes. Must be getting slow.

“So you’ll be working with him. Should be interesting”.

“Don’t see how”.

“I’m not the one who’s obsessed with him.”

“I’m not obsessed.”

“Please. As if he isn’t exactly your type.”

Dean ignored that stab at him.

“I just can’t get a read on him.”

“Yes, he’s hard to pin down. Something else that makes him interesting”.

“Like it made me interesting?”

“Oh Squirrel, he’s interesting, you were always special.”

And this is one of the few people I would trust with my life, Dean thought. He’d probably be ready to kill someone for me. I might do the same for him.

They didn’t make out, but Dean put his head on Crowley’s shoulder for a while. A simple gesture of friendship and comfort.

It felt good to have a friend.

Castiel was already waiting for him when he arrived at the school gates.

“Hello, Dean”.

“Hi. Let’s get going”.

“You like the library, don’t you” Castiel said unexpectedly as they made their way to it.

“What do you mean?”

“I saw you and Crowley come out of it the other day. I wanted to look something up”.

And of course he would go to the library instead of using the internet like a normal person.

“Yeah, we... sometimes hang out”.

Castiel frowned.

“Why do you sound defensive? There’s no reason to be. If you are friends with him...”

Dean snorted. “Trust me, my parents would kill me if they found out”.

“Why?”

“Dude, have you seen Crowley?”

Not to mention he must have heard at least some of the rumours that were flying around school. Dean’s favourite was that he’d somehow got a sex tape of the headmaster and his wife and was using it to blackmail him into never having to attend classes.

“I choose to believe that every one of us has something good in him, and I don’t think you’d be friends with someone who was... dabbling in criminal activities.”

Dean smirked and winked at him.

“You sure about that?”

“At least not that kind” Castiel shot back, smiling slightly.

He really did look good when he smiled.

Dean shoved that thought away quickly.

Mrs. Singer was sitting at the desk when they arrived.

“Dean! Castiel!” She was obviously surprised to see them together, but beamed.

“What can I do to help you?”

Fifteen minutes later, they were tugged into a corner with all the books about Manila they could carry.

“Mrs Singer is very nice” Castiel said.

“She is” Dean agreed.

“Have you known her for long?”

He looked around before he muttered “Several years”.

“You’re sounding defensive again” Castiel noted. “It’s strange that you think having a friend and knowing the local librarian are things to be ashamed of”.

“It’s just not who I’m meant to be, alright?”

“I fail to see how you are supposed to be anything” Castiel said before adding, “I’m sorry, that came out wrong, I didn’t mean – “

“I know”.

For some reason, he was sure Castiel hadn’t meant to insult him.

And he wanted to explain himself to him. He’d never be able to say why he’d decided to open up to him.

Maybe because he was still feeling a bit sentimental.

“Look, you’ve heard stuff about Crowley... Have you heard something about me too?”

Castiel nodded.

“They say you’re a jock who has a different girl on his arm every week... But that’s not true. You and Lisa Braeden are clearly only friends and you treat them all very nicely”.

“Something else?” he asked, slowly.

“Your father has a garage. You’re supposed to take it over”.

“I will”.

“You don’t look happy when you talk about it”.

“I don’t have to be happy, I have to keep my father’s legacy going”.

Castiel smiled somewhat weakly.

“That’s why I have so many siblings. They’ll do all the work for me.”

“I only have one little brother, Sam. He’s going to study and become a lawyer”.

“And you?”

“I’m getting the garage. I don’t have to study”.

“But do you want to?”

“What’s the point of wanting something you can’t have?”

“I think that’s just human” Castiel said quietly.

“I suppose, yeah”.

It was the first time he’d ever talked about this with someone else than his best friend, and it felt... good. Almost freeing.

Mrs. – Karen shuffled over to them.

“Have you boys got all you need?”

“Yeah, thanks”.

She smiled.

“I’m glad you seem to be getting on so well”.

“I think” Castiel said after she’d left them once again, “I’m going to like it here”.

As he said it, he was once more staring right into Dean’s eyes.

He found himself staring back.

#my writings #destiel #high school au #destiel high school au #smart!dean #bestie!crowley #will use this tag until it catches on

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shiroe-is-my-baby · 7 years

Text

You Have The Nerve?

Summary: Based off of the movie Nerve, an AU/crossover fic that doesn’t exactly follow the storyline but does have a similar plot and a few scenes from it. A hard breakup throws Ashley into an emotional wreck, acting out in ways that she never knew possible. When the opportunity to play a game of dares for money, she can’t help but play along. Throwing her into a spiral of dangerous games, along with meeting a few new faces and possibly falling in love yet again.

W: self-insert, romance, strong language, angst, crossover, au

Plot belongs to the movie/book. I keep some themes and scenes for humor purposes. Most of it will be twisted to my own. There will be crossover characters, with a few faves thrown in here for fun! And an OC or two. The ship is still Shirey, though.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

“And stay out you fucking prick!” I shouted, throwing the empty beer bottle into the street, flying right past the idiot.

Narrowing my eyes, I tugged my cardigan closer to my body and watched as my now ex-boyfriend, Darren, sauntered off with his bag over his shoulder. I ignored the heavy glares I was receiving from those passing by, bustling to their homes in the early afternoon. I’d gotten used to the looks having a rugged boyfriend that drove a motorcycle and didn’t care about the noise. My neighbors were used to the outbursts, which I wasn’t very proud of. But my next door neighbor is an asshole anyway. Let him give me another noise complaint. I dare him.

“You’re crazy,” Darren grumbled from his position hanging out of the Taxi cab.

“Yeah, I’m fucking psycho!”

Stomping my foot, I spun on my heels and quickly slammed the front door to the apartment complex. I leaned against the door, shivering from the sudden exposure to the cold. Even though my outer body was ice cold, the blood in my veins boiled with pure rage. It was too damn early in the morning to be dealing with this shit. Things seemed to be all going downhill this week. One thing after another seems to be happening to me. It makes me regret even moving to the city in the first place. It was all for that dumb man anyway.

This apartment was supposed to be the place that we both grew up together. Hopefully started a family. I laughed at that thought now, remembering earlier when I woke up to several texts on his phone. The same texts from the woman I used to listen him lie through his teeth about. All the nights that I spent listening to stories that they were only friends. Seems like my own stupidity that lead me to this spot. The signs were all right in front of me. I just didn’t want to see it.

Pushing off the door, I climbed up the flight of stairs towards my apartment. My boots clicked against the floor, no doubt louder now that I was practically stomping them. I turned the corner, flying down the hallway as my neighbor poked her head out. “Could you be any louder?” She asked in her snobby tone. I flashed her a narrowed eyed glare, barring my teeth as I hissed at her.

“You’re such a weirdo,” She grumbled, slamming the door behind her.

Of course, little miss perfect needs her beauty sleep.

My other next door neighbor is a pageant queen. Well, more like was. She’s now a little older than I am but can’t seem to let go of the past. She’s an internet model now, trying to work her way up to the big leads. I’ve scoured her Instagram a thousand times. She’s gorgeous. I can’t lie and say I’m not envious of her. How could I not be with pictures that good? Ones that don’t even need a god damn filter. And I don’t even want to mention how many followers she already has. She’ll be living large in no time. Or so I think. I’m not quite sure how a career on the internet works.

Shoving open my apartment door, I slammed the door shut and immediately made my way towards the bedroom. Everything that was his is gone. I’m throwing it in the fire. He got a bag of his clothes, but that was it. Everything else is mine for the taking. I spotted his computer and smirked, my fingers wrapping around it and raising it over my head. “This is going to look so good scattered across the floor,” I said under my breath, just as I heard my phone buzzing in my pocket.

My eyes seem to roll as if to say that now wasn’t the time. I figured it was him trying to call me. But it kept ringing each time I tried to throw the laptop to the floor. All I wanted was to watch something of his crumble like he had me and my heart. But with each pressing moment, I found myself unable to focus on the thrilling task. It’d have to wait. Whoever was calling me obviously wasn’t going to. With a huff, I set the computer on the desk and yanked my phone from my back pocket.

“What?” I asked, putting the phone against my ear.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“God damn it, Sae. If you’re watching me again.”

My eyes flashed up to my window, then scattering all across my room for the bug. It would be too obvious to assume that my hacker best friend left his camera out in the open for me to find. He’s too sneaky for that. To think that my privacy met anything to him would be hilarious. He’d lie and say it was for my safety, but I highly doubt it. Saeyoung Choi was nothing if not odd like that. I spun around and tried my hardest to find this damn bug, but to no avail. All I heard was the cynical laughter of the man on the other line.

“It’s nowhere you can find it,” He said, and I could practically hear the swivel of his chair as he spun around, “And I’m not watching you. Just saw the little outburst and wanted to make sure that you didn’t kill him.”

“No, he’s not dead. Unfortunately.”

“That’s too bad. I would’ve loved to see you at least give him a nice big shiner.”

I scoffed a tiny laugh, my lips tight as I looked at my reflection from the stand-up mirror in front of me.

It’s strange how much I’ve changed over these past few months. How my attitude used to be much lighter and happier. Now, I felt like a creature of darkness all most. No longer able to smile as bright and wide as I could before. My style had changed drastically too. Now that he’s gone and I’m looking at myself… I’m starting to think that my friends were right. They used to tell me how much thinner I looked. The light in my eyes now much dimmer.

Not even Sae can bring out a sliver of a smile from me.

But, to be fair, I did just catch my boyfriend cheating on me.

That’s grounds for a snarl.

“Great, now you’re giving me ideas,” I mumbled, “Isn’t there something you can do? Crash his phone, send him stupid memes until his head explodes?”

“Maybe… but unfortunately, I’m all backed up with actual work.”

“C’mon, I stopped from destroying his computer for you,” I groaned, taking another look at the lonely computer that sat on the desk.

It was a lot nicer than mine.

She probably bought it for him. She’s got way more money than I do. The perks of having a father that will buy her anything she wants. That’s probably why he left me. Which didn’t make much sense given that he can’t stand her family and their money. It’s probably because she’s prettier.

“Well, I figured you needed a rational voice to give you a better solution. Just keep it for yourself. You’ve been wanting one of those for years. It’d be stupid of you to destroy it.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I am. They don’t call me… what they call me… for nothing.”

“…Sae?”

“What?”

I tilted my head, waiting for his usual catch phrase to kick in.

But it didn’t.

“What’s wrong with me ag-“

“Ashley! Shhh!”

I blinked, hearing the seriousness in his tone.

Oh shit.

My eyes widened, and I sputtered a quick apology.

I had totally forgotten that he had an incident of his phone being tapped last week.

God, I was a total idiot.

Saeyoung waited a couple of seconds before he spoke again, trying to remain calm and chuckle nervously out of it. The normal way that he does.

“Anyways, now that I’ve stopped you from destroying a precious item of technology, I must be off,” He said in the most annoying accent possible.

“Fine. I’ve got other shit to burn anyway. Meet me at the diner later?”

“Sure! I could use some breakfast!”

“Sae, it’s three o’clock in the afternoon!”

“So?”

I let out a heavy sigh, putting my face in my hands.

Should have seen that coming.

Saeyoung has a habit of working himself too hard. I usually have to make sure that he’s well fed like some kind of dog. But even that is hardly possible when I can barely find him. He’s never in one spot, which is understandable given the name he’s made for himself. The things he’s done to piss people off with his hacking. Currently, he has a job that will hopefully land him a spot at some secret agency. Right now, it’s kind of a temporary thing. He can’t talk about it much, but I’ve seen how excited he is about it. Not to mention that he makes some decent cash doing it.

“Goodbye, Sae.”

I hung up the phone, breathing a loud sigh.

Now, what was I going to do?

It was obvious that I had eyes, which meant that trying to destroy other items from the jackass were going to be hard. I did feel too tired to deal with that anyway. The thought of a nap sounded wonderful, but I was even too tired for that. I never thought I’d ever turn down a nap. And it was too early to chug down an entire bottle of wine. Especially since I planned to meet Sae at the diner later. Nothing sounded good to me. I felt like a zombie, only able to feel rage in fluctuating waves. Every time I thought of earlier my blood boiled, but it would only linger for a while.

I was way too tired for this.

Heaving myself into my desk chair, I pulled my knees up to my chest and opened up the laptop. Since this was mine now, I might as well delete all of his shit and start fresh. Saeyoung had taught me how to wipe it clean, which would take a little bit. I’d have to set it up while I was gone, making sure that once I got home it would be ready for use.

But, for now, I wanted to scour the web until my mind felt numb.

Anything to get my mind off of this ridiculous day.

My thumb sat on my bottom lip, settled between my teeth as I nibbled on the skin of it. A nervous tick I picked up and never seemed to get rid of. My opposite hand brushed and clicked on the mousepad, opening a web browser and simultaneously fluttering my eyes across it. Usually, I’d binge on some videos that either made sense or didn’t or read a few blog entries or catch up on the latest gossip that I didn’t really give a shit about.

But there was one notification that seemed to pop out at me at every website.

It looked like a stupid virus that I didn’t want to click on.

But it was driving me up the wall, popping up in my face every time I closed it. Almost like it was toying with me. Trying to force me to look at it.

Originally, I thought it was Sae playing some kind of trick on me. That would make the most sense, given that it wasn’t the first time he would have done something like this. There was something about this that seemed strange. From the sophisticated look of it, to the flashing words that scrolled across the bottom. Everything about it screamed a trap.

But I ended up looking at it anyway.

‘Are you up for the challenge? Accept the dare and win cash’

“What the fuck?”

I raised an eyebrow, clicking on the link to the video underneath.

It was probably stupid, given that I could be allowing a virus onto my computer. But if that happened, Sae could most likely fix it. I wasn’t too worried as much as I was interested. That was probably not even a good word for it.

The video was nicely shot. It looked like a big production, like some kind of trailer for a movie. Just instructing how this game worked, apparently. I’d never heard of it before, and to make matters worse, it was playing off of a ridiculous middle school game. Who even does dares anymore? Stupid, moronic people that want to make a quick buck. But from this website or something, it seemed like the prizes were big. Ranging from a hundred dollars to a thousand.

How in the hell?

“You can either join the thousands of players, in hopes to make it to the finals and earn the title of champion. Or settle as an observer, making the bets and seeing just how far people will go.’

The video ended, and I was brought to a screen that flashed.

Apparently, they expected everyone to make a choice between being the player or an observer. All of it seemed ridiculous. I doubt it was even real. I’ll have to ask Sae about it when we meet up. He knows everything there is to know about these kinds of tricks. If it is fake, he’ll definitely make more sense of it than I can.

Closing the computer, I stood up from the desk and glanced down at my phone. Only half an hour had passed. I still had a little while before I was going to meet Sae. This was such a shitty day. The last thing I wanted to do was spend it inside this apartment and risk thinking about the asshole again. Saying his name was out of the question now. He was only going to be known as the asshole from now on. I quickly changed the wallpaper on my phone, making sure I didn’t have to look at his stupid face ever again.

Tapping on the screen, I sent a quick text to Sae around what time we’d meet. Then, I started to dial a familiar number and hoped to God I didn’t start tearing up the minute I heard her voice. She always seemed to bring out the emotional side of me. Even when I didn’t want to think about crying or expressing my emotions. Which seemed extremely hard to do these days. The asshole seemed to make me hard, growing an outer shell around my heart.

“Ashley?”

“Hey…” My voice sounded solid, though it faltered near the end.

I grabbed my keys and headed for the front door, shoving some money into my back pocket to avoid having to bring my purse.

“I’m coming over,” I said, “I really need some… girl time right now.”

#self insert #self ship #self insert writing #my writing #otp: shirey #fic #fanfic #fanfiction #au #nerve au #romance #angst #crossover

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tinderellaola · 7 years

Text

the last time I was “in love”

I have not been in a relationship in 4 years and that fucks me up. it makes me wonder if there's something wrong with me. if there's something wrong with other people. if they're hard to please. if I'm hard to please. sometimes I want a hookup and even that's hard to get because men don't like easy women. other times I'll make a vow to not hook up and that's when men enjoy the chase. coming out bisexual hasn't increased my chances of having a partner either. women in Toronto, I'm guessing, want a Ruby Rose lookalike or someone to listen to Tegan and Sara with (I love them but not enough to point it out in my profile, I guess), or they want someone who looks like Ellen Page. I've had the luck of matching and talking to beautiful fellow brown girls just like myself, and who I've sincerely always liked and hope is not some disgusting fetish, even though South Asian brown girls are desexualised (oh yes, even the light-skinned ones!). but eventually I just don't like the girls like that anymore. I start to understand the men who reject me after a first date. even though they're very pretty and nice and still have things in common with me, I just don't feel a spark. I could also bring up the fact that one girl backed away from me once she asked me how did I confirm I'm bi and I answered her.

it's not as if I haven't been in love with ANYbody since my toxic one-year relationship a couple years ago (need I point out that *I* was the toxic one with my yelling and ambiguity of what I want that could be mistaken or actually seen as controlling and manipulative. there was also my insecurity which definitely didn't go hand-in-hand with my ex's superiority complex and sensitive soul). there was, well let's call this guy... Tom (not a name I've ever dated before so this is safe).

Tom was a wonderful chaotic mess. he was a Sagittarius if that tells you enough. but even before I knew his star sign, Sagittarius was one of my two guesses. he had to either be a Sag or an Aquarius. Tom and I matched May 2015, 2 days after I had a hookup with one other guy named... I'll say Carpet. not to mention, Carpet was very nice and fun and considerate by trying to get me home on time to my religious family who I had to lie to by saying I was just out with friends.

anyway Tom and I matched 2 days after Carpet and I hooked up. he messagd me "Strokes shirt = good sign" in reference to the Strokes shirt I was wearing in one of my profile pictures. I checked his profile to try and see who I right-swiped on; it was some white boy with curly light brown hair, small blue eyes, and a goti; he had a posed shot of himself, another where he was diving into a lake from some cliff, and another of him drumming on his kit. so I messaged him back and we set a date for tomorrow pretty breifly into the conversation, with both of us trusting ourselves that we'll just click better in person. I gave him my number, he texted his name and that he's from tinder, I tried to prolong a conversation unintentionally, and got no message back until the day of our date.

he texted me and asked if we were still on for today. I said yes. so we met up a couple hours after that text, on our set time, with nothing in particular planned. he recently moved to my city and was living with his aunt and uncle. even though I've been in the city my whole life, I was not very good at giving directions. so we met up in this quaint downtown and I told him to "meet me at that wine bar if you know it." so yeah we met outside the wine bar, with no intention to go there. so he mentioned having a car and offered to buy some beers at the nearest liquor store, go to the lake, and chat. I said okay. so we did just that.

we sat by the lake and talked, and I gave him some of my Camel cigarettes in exchange for the beers. we talked about ourselves just as any date should be; our jobs/education, our siblings, our parents, concerts, weed, acid trips, our friends, dogs, That 70s Show being the retro weirdos we were, and so on. he did bring up some ex girlfriends and I thought nothing of it at the time. I was just enjoying his company, being happy to have gotten this date and not caring about the hookup with Carpet anymore. hell, I didn't even care if I would hook up with Tom or not, despite having a vow to just hook up with people summer 2015.

the date did end with us fucking in his car though, and he dropped me home even though it was out of his way. we talked some more, and he told me that guys don't actually brag about having sex. like, it's mentioned in locker rooms but no specifics are brought up. I was pretty tipsy in his car so I zoned out sometimes and told him I forgot to tell him to make a turn somewhere. but yeah we found the way eventually, we kissed goodnight, and we joked about who should text who.

the day after, he texted me and asked if I wanted to smoke pot with him tomorrow. I had to say no because my parents wanted me to help out with yardwork, which I didn't even have to do anymore! still, Tom and I had a couple more dates. well, only 2 good ones if I'm gonna be honest now, or 3... I'll explain.

the second date, we met outside "that wine bar" again, went to this pipe shop where he bought the pipe, walked to his car where he claimed to just be picking up the weed from, but got us to sit in the car, and be thrilled about having some cocaine in the same stash he had his weed. I nodded my head slowly, trying not to be so alarmed by this, and just thinking he wouldn't have some lines in front of me. but he DID. he got out a CD case, put some lines there, and once I processed this I freaked out, like "omg you're doing this RIGHT now?" he freaked out back, like, pretending to be considerate and reassuring me that coke wears out in an hour. I reminded him that we're cruising soon so he shouldn't drive just yet. he said he wouldn't, so he asked for my OK. I uncomfortably said fine. I tried to let that slide along with the mentions of ex girlfriends. we had a fun rest of the time finally finding a place to smoke, it was by some beach with just some other couple about our ages there and neverminding that young adults smoke pot.

we also walked and took turns going to a bathroom at the back of a grocery store. then we went back to his car, with the weed high going away even for my sensitive body and my lightweight-ness. we got poutine and went back in the car to listen to the Distillers, the music being my choice because he was cool enough to let me do that (believe it or not, men hardly ever let you choose the movie or music and so on so this was pretty big of him to me!).

we called it ane early night. he started working 5am-3pm shifts, which he happily told me about so that we could hang out earlier than the evenings now. still, after the second date I hadn't seen him in over a week. we weren't even texting. last time I did text him was to ask coke for a friend of a friend and he said he couldn't text anything like this to me right now and that he has to deal with some stuff right now. I respected that, kinda sensing that he was in trouble but still a little paranoid I was doing something wrong myself.

I saw him again after I slept over at a friend's house about a half away hour. we (my friends and I) pulled an all-nighter just partying with some of her classmates and dealing with the cops and inspecting the house (thankfully, these white dudes running the party had their weed in a seemingly obvious spot like by their computers but not where the cops checked anyway). anyhow I was exhausted af. my brother (who is just a year younger than I am and is one of my best friends so we were always rebellious together) picked me up from my friend's place. on the way back home, Tom texted me and told me he just got his own place, still in my city, and was inviting me over. being the smitten kitten I was at the time, I said okay and that I'll be about an hour. I wanted to go home and shower off this party smell and tiredness for a cute dude I've only met twice.

so I did all that, and Tom offered to pick me up. I told him that'd be cool, just not outside my house directly in case my mom would come home from work soon. so I met up with him at a plaza just a block down. he eagerly greeted me and we had some small talk. after that fuzzy stuff, I asked him how his week's been and why he stopped texting and suddenly wanted me around again. he sighed before saying that he got arrested for drug possession, and that he's on probation now. I was stunned. but a 20-going-on-21 year old girl who hoped this guy could be my second boyfriend after being single for 2 years. so I stayed in the car with him, let him drive off, waited in the car and listened to Pond as he went grocery shopping in the same store my aunt worked at, and finally we were at his new basement apartment. he also bought me a new lighter after I left mine in his car after the second date, and the cops cleared his car of any drug utensils. I still have this maroon lighter by the way! after 2 years it still works, so it's a good one.

anyway over at his place I helped him put up a Pink Floyd poster and then a Simpsons one in the tiny and cozy place. he warmed up frozen pizza which we cut with scissors (his idea) and we talked as he set up Django Unchained on his laptop because he didn't have a TV. he didn't have Internet either. so we were pretty old school, like early 2000s old school, by just using a DVD and a computer. I think he said his laptop was like 10 years old too even though it was an Apple. anyway in the talk before the movie he told me that he's bi. I told him that I was too. we smiled out of relief from that, and he ended the moment like, "I like dicks, I like vaginas. whatever" to which I laughed at. and even though we had a heavy fight about reverse racism as we talked through Django, I stayed the night. I insisted we get past this differing thoughts and opinion of a concept even though we were both passionate about it, pretend we never had this talk even though he was mad enough to try and kick me out of his place. I blurted out to him that it can't end this way, because I really REALLY liked him. he said, "well I was starting to like you too!" so that was when I said, "then let's just give this a chance. this is ONE thing we're disagreeing on."

the following night, he gave me a piggy-back around his place, like what they show in white romantic movies. we watched some live Woodstock videos. and we had sex before sleeping on and off through the night.

we spent the next day, a Sunday so I got that cliched Sunday morning date, at his place all sleep-deprived. we watched a movie (the whole thing this time), and for some reason looked at pictures of him and his ex girlfriends on his laptop, and then he wanted to pick up perogies from his aunt at her beautiful big house. so we went to her place. on the way there I told him I had to pee, so he suggested I could pee at his aunt's place. the thought of meeting a fuck buddy's aunt was weird to me, especially in my sleep-deprived state. but I went inside with him anyway. as his aunt had to show him something upstairs anyway, I went to the bathroom and then waited out in the hallway of this beautiful big house with his uncle sitting in the kitchen and reading the paper. I thought of saying hi but also didn't want to in this context, like he didn't know who tf I was and Tom wasn't there as proof that I was a friend of his. so I silently waited, and they were back downstairs anyway. Tom had the pack of frozen perogies in his hand, we both said bye to her, and left.

I stayed a bit longer at Tom's place. we watched The Lego Movie, That 70s Show (which was when he called me smart like Donna by the way, and pointed out I said some things he learned about reverse racism not being real), had sex, showered together, and I decided I should get going. it was 6pm when I told him I should go. my mom called earlier and she asked when I was getting back from "another friend's" house (I told her it was a girl friend). so I told her I was just at the mall now and will be getting back home from there now. she said okay.

but at home I just haaaaaad to make a tumblr post about my sleepover at Tom's place and our lovely Sunday together. I had my older sister on tumblr, and she's basically a third parent. I just figured she wasn't using her blog anymore. but... she was lurking her dash still, alright. she confronted me about it, and was upset I did that. I freaked out at her, because I was mad that I got caught and mad that she wouldn't let me learn things on my own. it was ugly.

luckily for me, I forgot my phone charger at his place. so I texted him and asked if it was there. he said yeah and that I could visit him on Wednesday (like 3 days after the sleepover) to pick it up. I said that'd be good. so we met up again and this time he had a friend coming over so I got to meet one of his friends, and he was nice. we got drunk and talked politics again. Tom was such a mansplainer by trying to cut me out of conversation and saying that I wasn't getting the topic right. his friend, on the other hand, said that I was saying relevant things, which got Tom pretty annoyed.

well anyway I accidentally took his Doors shirt home. I wore it as a joke when we were all drunk but forgot to take it off. so yeah I had it for a while. I washed it before going to his place again and gave it back to him. he was so relieved it was just with me the whole time because he thought he lost it and he wanted to wear it to a show with "a new friend" he was going with. he told me it was some girl. but I tried to let that slide off along with the ex-girlfriends and being a coke-head! but then he started ghosting on me. he pretended he missed some texts from me, and would say he couldn't hang out some weekends. he was friends with some new girl on Facebook who didn't seem like she was an old high school friend or anything. I spent weeks wondering if we were gonna talk again. I had a friend ask me if we were official yet because I knew him for over a month and gone through a lot with him at that point. I had to tell her no we weren't; it was the opposite. I excused that maybe he's busy, busy with the court cases and visiting his family an hour away some weekends, and meeting up with old friends who were visiting the city, busy trying to find a new job after losing the one he already had, and so on.

3 weeks later I texted him and asked if he was busy. he said no. so I asked if he wanted to hang out. he said "sure. where?" I said that his place is fine. so I came and we just watched movies again. he treated me like some relative rather than someone he had all these inside jokes with and wanted to kiss sometimes. we had some cigarettes outside his place and he'd *casually* mention the new girl he was hanging out with and that she spent the week at his place, and he told me the same name I saw on his updated friends list on Facebook. I just changed the subject.

every hangout I had with him, except that last one, we'd always kiss goodbye. but in that last one we didn't even hug. I tried to let that slide, along with the ex-girlfriends, him being a coke-head, an entitled white boy, and the insensitive mentions of the new girl.

I couldn't sleep for a week. I was always nauseous. he was on my mind all the damn time. he even came into my dreams in the rare moments I WOULD sleep. so I knew I had to talk to him. this went on for a week. so I texted him and asked if I could come over. he said he doesn't live in that house anymore. so I said "ok then let's meet up somewhere. I wanna talk." he said that he's living with his folks, who live an hour away so he can call me in about 20 minutes. I said fine. then he asked me if everything was okay. I left my phone in my room that time and was downstairs. so I came back to see a follow-up text which was a "Hello?" I told him yeah it is, and that I just don't know why he got distant all of a sudden. yes, pretty accusatory. but I wasn't sure how else to say it in this nervous state. so we didn't call each other. he replied to my text, getting all defensive and vague. I pressed him, which got him to say, "I lost my driver's license, got kicked out of my place, and have a couple court sessions left. my life sucks right now! I can't deal with anything right now. it's nothing personal." I said, "ok that's fine. but what about the past few weeks before all this?" he said, "I dunno I guess I just got busy." I replied, "with the girl who slept over for a week?" he was all, "I guess. and with family and friends." he sent a follow-up: "are you mad that I'm seeing other people?" I said no, and that I was mad about him getting distant. I think I'm saying all this out of order. but anyway the talk ended with me offering to be there if he ever needs to vent. he didn't reply.

he kept me on Facebook. but then I saw him tag the other girl in a status of some music video, and it hurt like the flames of Hell!!!!!!!!!! so I removed him and his number and got drunk a lot and cry. I remember this one night I came home after a night out at a pub at my brother. I was making myself a burger at 2am and dropped the spatula and broke down. my sister (not the one who caught my tumblr post. I have 2 sisters) was just coming in that time, and she knew what was going on so she hugged me and told me that this is how you learn stuff, and that he was a dick anyway. oh man I feel pathetic even writing this again.

but anyhow I had my 6 months of being sad over a summer fling. they say that it's supposed to take you only half the time you were with someone to be over them. but for me it was double that, including the ghosting since I *thought* we were still "together." I'd actually drunkenly call him (I kept his number in my diary, no joke), and he'd neverrrrr pick up. I knew he still had the number, hence his outgoing voicecall stating his first and last name. I'm not sure if I even really got over him. well I knew I was missing him and that he was not right for me. but at this point I know I don't want him as a boyfriend. I miss him, even if it was just a messy friendship.

so in this almost-2 years I haven't talked to him, I had to delete my tinder a couple times because I ran out of matches or would want a fresh start or would try and quit tinder for a bit. of course, just the other day on a new tinder account, he was one of my choices. it took me a bit to digest this. but I swiped right to see if he would too.

it's been about a week, and no notification from him has come up. I like to think he's just a Sagittarius who likes to pretend he doesn't care about people he's been initimate with. but I've seen him vulnerable. I've seen him show me his ex girlfriends. I've heard him tell me he doesn't like reading books with someone else because it reminds him of "a friend" he had to drift apart from. he's told me he once had "a bitchy ex girlfriend" who he might have a guilty conscience for. hell, he might have remembered me as "this girl obsessed with the Strokes who cried over them at my place once and drunkenly danced to them." "this girl with strong-ass opinions, like insiting that reverse racism isn't real, although I just don't wanna admit that she's smart and strong for standing up to me."

I had a dream of him last night. we were together, not officially, but it felt MORE together than my time with him. we'd hang out with each other AROUND my family. we cuddled on some beach chairs in front of them. well he was actually young Keanu Reeves at first and then just transformed to him, you know how dreams are. but, even though I wasn't clear about this, I think he had some similarities to young Keanu with his occasional quietness. anwyays we cuddled at the movies at a family outing too. it just really nice.

I tried to tell myself that I just miss getting physical affection in general. but I guess I also miss being his friend. he was someone I had good conversations with even though I know now he was a fake-intellectual. he appreciated me even though it wasn't for a long time. I remember crying after the next guy I hooked up with because the sex wasn't as real as it was with Tom. to this day, I still miss "Tom" even though he was a jerk. I know I would never ever actually be his girlfriend or his wife. but he was memorable.

so remembering him, I don't hold resentment over first dates who realise they don't feel a spark with me after all. remembering him, I realise these first dates didn't give me the same spark as he did anyway, although I could also say that he made me have high standards out of protection of myself. I guess I've just learned so much from him, and miss the feeling I'd get from him even though it got me hurt in the end.

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