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artificialqueens · 4 years

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Mateo's Eight, chapter seven (Branjie)--athena2

Previously: Brooke confessed about her daughter to Vanessa and they kissed Now: THE HEIST (dun dun dun)

A/N: Thank you all so much for your amazing feedback on this fic! I never expected people to actually like it this much. This chapter was tricky, so thank you as always to Writ for being an amazing beta!

Please leave some feedback on this chapter if you’d like!

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The food truck Nina wrangled from somewhere rumbles over potholes toward the Met. Everyone exchanges nervous glances, the silent anticipation in the air almost overpowering Nina singing along to the Tangled soundtrack.

Vanessa holds the necklace Brooke got her in a white-knuckled fist, contemplating what it means if she wears it. Her mind reviews the points of the plan but also tries to grasp what Brooke told her last night, the horrible things she’s been through. Can she really blame Brooke for what she did, when she was just protecting her daughter? Can she forgive a lie that went on the whole time they were together?

Vanessa looks at Brooke, eyes focused on her lap. She thinks of Brooke’s tears soaking her shirt last night, the absolutely gutted look in her eyes as she told Vanessa about her daughter, like someone had ripped her heart clean out.

Vanessa needs time to think, when she’s not about to pull off the biggest con of her life. When she doesn’t have to worry about her mom working herself into the ground, or the overdue notice on their bills. She forces her feelings aside until then, which has always been hard for her. Her feelings are constantly getting in the way, anger taking control the night she fought with Brooke, passion winning last night, pulling her into bed with Brooke when she shouldn’t have. She can’t let anything interfere with her focus tonight.

Her stomach flutters as she trails behind Scarlet and Plastique into the ball, the gown Nina got her as soft as butter against her skin, the gold making her glow. She struts inside, casual and unconcerned. This is the most expensive thing she’s ever worn, and she’s going to enjoy it.

Nina is on the floor with the Vogue team, attending to everyone’s needs. Yvie is holed up in the truck outside, watching everything through her hacked security feed. Silky’s in waitress garb, gliding between tables. Brooke and A’keria are in the kitchen, and Vanessa finds that she trusts Brooke completely with her tasks, the weight of fear lifted from her.

Silverware sparkles on each table, the glare off thousand-dollar gowns blinding. It’s not until now that the glitz and glamour really sink in. Vanessa will have millions after this, millions, and most of the guests would consider it pocket change, like the stray dollar you find in your coat.

Any second now…

“People are sitting,” Nina says through their ear comms, a hint of panic emerging.

“Let’s do it,” Vanessa says.

She hovers by the bar, across from the bathroom Plastique will be running to later. She keeps her head down, fading into the background, wanting to be ignored for once.

“Dishes went out for Plastique’s table,” Brooke says into her comm. If Brooke did her job right, Plastique will be hunched over the toilet about 15 minutes after eating her soup made of overpriced vegetables. Inducing vomiting is the least sketchy thing they’ll do tonight, but Vanessa can’t help but feel a little guilty about it. Still, it’s the only way, and it’s not like they’re really making Plastique sick.

“Right on time.” Vanessa can’t stop the smile that creeps into her voice, hit with happiness that Brooke is with her.

“Are you wearing a watch like I told you?” Brooke asks. “I could’ve synchronized them—“

“You’re not putting sequins on shit. I’m looking at my phone, Brooke,” Vanessa says.

Yvie makes gagging sounds around a mouthful of whatever she’s crunching on. “Do I really have to experience this conversation with my own two ears?” she asks.

“Tell me about it,” Silky gripes. “This ear comm is a group chat from hell. ‘Cept I can’t even leave the chat.”

“How do you think Scarlet feels? She’s stuck at that table with boring-ass rich people and can’t even talk to us,” A’keria says.

“I wish I didn’t have to talk to us,” Brooke says.

“Back to work!” Vanessa snaps.

Waiters hurry past her from the kitchen, balancing gleaming silver trays with dishes of salad resembling burnt tree leaves, still-bleeding steak she can eat in two bites, and bowls of murky green stuff that might have been scooped out of a pond. Give her a slice of pizza any day.

Silky slips into the bathroom to prepare for Plastique, armed with the magnet Yvie made to take the necklace off. Vanessa knows they’re close, heart pounding in her chest, time moving through quicksand. She sips her drink without tasting and almost spits it out when Scarlet’s voice rings over the ear comm.

“Plastique’s on the move. Bitch is looking real green. And I deserve a higher cut after what I’ve been forced to listen to.”

“I’ll give you a dollar,” Vanessa promises, positioning herself in front of the bathroom, up against the cream-colored wall within the camera blindspot.

“You can’t even buy a candy bar with a dollar,” Scarlet says.

“You can buy my love,” Yvie says. “But you already have that, Scar.”

“How much to buy your damn silence?” Vanessa asks.

Yvie’s reply goes unheard as Plastique sprints around the corner, the pale green tinge to her face clashing against the bright pink dress that ripples with her movements. The door slams shut, and a man in a black suit stumbles after her. Vanessa has to marvel that an entire bodyguard is required to watch one necklace.

“Can’t you read?” Vanessa demands, pointing at the curvy gold script on the door. “It’s the women’s bathroom.” She crosses her arms and the guard sulks off to the side.

“How’d I get stuck on barf duty?” Silky laments over faint sounds of retching. “This ain’t even fair.”

“She’s puking, though?” Vanessa asks.

“Oh, hell yeah, she is.”

“Then get in there and take the necklace, dummy!”

Vanessa’s palms sweat, breath stuck in her throat. She hears the toilet flushing inside, and mumbles too indistinct to make out.

“Waiter’s coming your way,” Nina says.

Sure enough, a waiter rounds the corner, and Vanessa cuts him off, nudges him toward the bathroom door just as Silky comes out, slipping the necklace between dishes stained with a thick orange substance Vanessa can’t blame anyone for not finishing.

“Necklace is on the move,” Vanessa says, watching the tray head into the kitchen.

It’s in Brooke’s hands now, and there’s nowhere Vanessa would rather have it.

—

Brooke gasps as she snatches the necklace and 112 million dollars hits her hand. It weighs seven pounds, Vanessa had said. Heavier than Zoey when she was born almost two months premature. A thousand times more expensive than the medical procedures needed to keep her little heart beating.

This one necklace is worth more money than most people will ever see. This necklace could solve all her problems and then some, for her and so many others. What’s the harm, really, in giving everyone in the group a better life–for A’keria to have her own home and Vanessa to help her mom and Brooke to get her daughter back–at the cost of one little necklace, growing lighter as the seconds pass? They aren’t hurting anyone. The only people who will even notice is the company that owns it, who owns hundreds more jewels just as expensive.

She slides it into the soapy water where A’keria washes dishes, watching A’keria pluck it out and excuse herself to the bathroom, where her tools await.

—

A’keria has to admire the intricacy of the diamond, the sheer quality of the jewel, as she splits the pieces apart. It’s criminal, really, to break something so exquisite, so well-made, but she knows what they’re getting is worth far more.

Police sirens blare outside, the loudspeaker announcing that all employees must report to the main entrance while police search for the missing necklace. A sly grin spreads across A’keria’s face, because they won’t find anything. All she has to do is get the pieces to Silky, who will get them to Vanessa, who will sell them and get their profits.

She carefully breaks off another piece and waits for Nina to find the replica necklace and call the police off.

—

Nina hovers near the fountain, a hand awkwardly pressed against her hip, the replica necklace bulging underneath her dress. Vanessa and Brooke haven’t been answering on the comms, something Nina suspects isn’t a coincidence. She wonders if the two of them are kissing in some gallery room and hopes they’ve made things right.

Police officers scurry around, one of them interrogating Plastique and Scarlet about what could have happened to the necklace.

“Should I do it now?” Nina asks nervously. “Vanessa?”

“Do it!” Vanessa commands.

Nina lifts the hem of her soft orange dress and lowers the necklace into the fountain. She pulls it out with a triumphant cry, running to the police to show them that she found it, and they can end the search.

—

The buzz of the Nokia gets Vanessa ready. She stands up straight, dripping confidence, to pose as the fake buyer with Brooke as the fake artist. Vanessa excels as the buyer because she could attract the attention of others, and the con relies on people not only thinking the art is Brooke’s, but also worth what she’s asking.

Brooke always says rich people will pay a lot for art without knowing anything about it, and so far, she’s right.

“Excuse me, I’d like to buy those pieces.” Vanessa walks up to her, just as they’ve done four times now, making sure to avoid any familiarity. She can’t give anything away, not when this is the biggest con they’ve done.

“I’m asking a very high price,” Brooke says.

“As you should.” Vanessa raises her voice a little, two men across the gallery creeping closer to hear. “I’ll offer you $10,000 for all three.”

Brooke scoffs. “At least 20 grand each. No less.”

She and Brooke continue to haggle, Vanessa luring the men closer and closer, hanging on their every word. Finally, Vanessa backs out of the sale just short of the 60 grand, and one of the men pounces, saying he’ll happily pay Brooke’s price.

Vanessa peeks at Brooke while the man pulls out his checkbook. She has her head down but Vanessa can see the smile stretched across her face, and a rush of affection hits her at once. She loves Brooke, loves her so much, and maybe it’s time to start saving money for a house one day, a house completely their own.

She’s so distracted by Brooke’s shining eyes that she doesn’t notice the man watching them from the corner. She’s so busy dreaming of walking through their new house that she doesn’t notice the man pulling out his phone. She doesn’t notice anything until two police officers are in the gallery, pointing right at them.

But by then, it’s too late.

—

Secret mission with Brooke complete, Vanessa heads back onto the main floor, where the celebrities grumble as they return to their seats, the fake necklace safely around Plastique’s neck.

Silky casually slaps the diamonds into her palm. Vanessa stashes it inside the special compartment she sewed in the dress, and the diamonds lightly brushing against her hip with each movement only increases her pride, making her all the more aware of what she just pulled off. The con of her lifetime, of any lifetime, 112 million dollars gone and no one the wiser.

There’s a tap on her shoulder.

“May I have this dance?”

Vanessa spins around to see Brooke with her arm outstretched. She’s changed into the outfit Nina got her–a silky black sequined suit, each sequin catching the light and reflecting it at Vanessa, stealing her breath in the process. Vanessa knows it’s been a long time since either of them have been in clothes this nice or this new, and she feels like a new woman as she accepts Brooke’s arm.

“You know slow dancing ain’t my thing,” Vanessa warns as Brooke leads her to the dance floor.

“But it’s mine.”

They don’t talk as they glide around the floor, Brooke’s hand on Vanessa’s waist, which is just as well because Vanessa doesn’t have any words. She can feel Brooke’s heart thrumming against her fingers, her green eyes gazing at Vanessa dreamily. She’s never had a proper slow-dance with Brooke, and she’s going to savor each spin, each careful turn that Brooke guides her through.

“You’re wearing the necklace,” Brooke says, her cheeks flushing at the gold heart dangling around Vanessa’s neck.

“Figured we needed all the luck we could get,” Vanessa says. She tightens her hold on Brooke’s hips, not caring what it means, not caring how good the dance and the necklace make her feel. All she cares about is being here with Brooke.

“This is…nice,” Vanessa finishes lamely, because she can’t describe it. It’s a kind of weightless joy she hasn’t felt since before prison, and she doesn’t think it’s a coincidence that the feeling has been brought on by Brooke.

“It is,” Brooke agrees.

They keep moving even as others sit down, and all Vanessa knows is that she could do this dance forever.

—

“Ness,” Brooke hisses, eyes darting toward the cops.

Vanessa’s blood runs cold. Someone called the police. Someone who had seen them before, maybe, or thought they were suspicious? It doesn’t matter. They have to get out of here.

Brooke snatches the check and Vanessa runs down the hall, where Brooke mapped an escape route in her plans, just in case. Vanessa has never been more grateful for Brooke and her planning.

Brooke is behind her as she sprints to the shipping entrance by the bathrooms, slamming down on the metal bar and shoving it open. But it catches on something with a clinking sound that stops her heart. The door only opens a crack, just big enough for a child to wriggle through.

Vanessa sees a chain holding it closed at the top. The gallery staff must not use this entrance anymore. Her heart pounds, because they’ll never get that chain off. Vanessa might be able to squeeze through, but Brooke will never fit.

She can hear cops shouting in the distance, Brooke cursing under her breath. Tears of helplessness spring to Vanessa’s eyes. She can see Brooke’s mind frantically working, trying to think of another way out.

“You have to go, Ness,” Brooke says firmly. “You can fit.”

“I’m not leaving you for the cops!”

“We don’t have a choice.” Brooke hands her the check. “Take it. Go lie low at A’keria’s. I’ll come get you. Go!” She nudges Vanessa toward the door.

“I’m not leaving you.”

“Don’t worry about me. I’ll find another way out.” Brooke crouches down and begins moving Vanessa’s limbs, helping her contort through the narrow opening even as Vanessa continues to protest. She kisses Vanessa fast and hard, and the intensity she pours into it makes Vanessa tremble in fear that it’ll be their last kiss.

“But–”

“I’ll protect you, I promise. Always.” Brooke pushes her through, and Vanessa runs.

—

Seven women exit down the grand steps at the Met, hearts light and fluttery with dreams of the future.

Nina dreams of adopting a third child with her wife, Monet; another kid to run around the house, laughing and shouting, to fill her heart beyond bursting. She dreams of writing comedy shows again, performing in front of a crowd and letting their applause etch a permanent grin on her face, a career she gave up a decade ago. She dreams of second chances.

Scarlet dreams of a space where the designs she drew as a little girl in her princess bedroom can come to life, for everyone to see the beauty that’s only ever been in her head. She dreams of seeing her clothes not only on famous people, but on regular people, well-made and priced so anyone can wear clothes they feel good in. She dreams of sketching in a cozy house with Yvie at her side.

Yvie dreams of setting up an internet cafe with its own computers for everyone and free coffees and baked goods. She dreams of returning to school to get a master’s with no worries about loans, having more time to do her hacking, to expose criminals. She dreams of typing away on a big couch with her long legs thrown across Scarlet’s lap.

Silky dreams of walking into the principal’s office and paying off the lunch debts for the whole school so no child has to go hungry. She dreams of the new supplies she can buy for her classroom, the crafts kids can make with the markers and paints and colored pencils, the colors and laughs that will fill the room. She dreams of a giant house where she can soak in a tub and eat chocolate while she grades papers.

A’keria dreams of focusing on herself, to have a home where her mother didn’t track her every move and her father didn’t tell her to get a better job. She dreams of brushing the dust off her old business cards and designs, of a little boutique where she can create her own bracelets instead of polishing someone else’s. She dreams of people giving her designs as gifts to those they loved.

Brooke dreams of breaking all possible ties to her ex, the bills he caused disappearing. She dreams of walking into a new house with her daughter secure in her arms, to fill the kitchen with laughs as they bake cookies, to see her smile every day. She dreams of time home with her daughter, time to learn to love herself again, and maybe, if she’s lucky, time with Vanessa.

Vanessa dreams of those bills vanishing into thin air, of moving her mom into a nice house and having time to relax without all-day shifts. She dreams of finding a new place for herself and Riley, to rediscover herself and what she wants to do. She dreams of endless possible futures she can live, and if a certain blonde woman creeps into a few of them, the dream only becomes that much brighter.

And when Vanessa asks Brooke to stay over at her house tonight, she feels she’s one step closer to that dream.

—

“I can’t believe we did that,” Brooke slurs as she pulls off her suit. “You’re brilliant, Ness. Super brilliant. Like, your brain must be so, so big.”

Vanessa suspects some of the praise is fueled by the amount of wine Brooke had at the ball, but Vanessa accepts it anyway. Besides, she’s still high on champagne and the success of the mission, and Brooke’s cheeks are flushed as she giddily puts on the pajamas they stopped by her place to get (‘It’ll be like a sleepover, Ness!’), and Vanessa has to smile.

Brooke is struggling with her shoes, her normally nimble, graceful fingers fumbling at the straps, and Vanessa carefully unfastens them for her, lifting Brooke’s legs and pulling the shoes off, then helping her step into plaid pajama pants.

“Still got them toes, I see,” Vanessa teases.

“Of course I do. Where would they go?” Brooke asks in confusion, and Vanessa stifles a laugh. She’s always loved the soft Brooke that needed Vanessa to take care of her. Brooke was so used to taking care of herself, taking care of them both, that it was nice to return the favor, make Brooke feel as cared for and as loved as she made Vanessa feel.

“Okay, time for bed,” Vanessa commands, herding Brooke under the covers. She’s put Brooke to bed two nights in a row, and it’s hard not to enjoy it, especially when Brooke smiles as Vanessa pulls the blanket up, melting into the soft fleece. “It’s 2am. You need to sleep.”

“‘M not tired,” Brooke whines with a pout, eyelids fluttering in her effort to stay awake, like she’s afraid Vanessa will disappear if she can’t see her.

“Sure you are, baby.” The baby slips out before her champagne-addled brain can stop it, and Brooke’s smile makes her even warmer than the liquor.

“Okay,” Brooke agrees. She squints at Vanessa. “Is that my sweatshirt?”

Oops.

So what if Vanessa just happened to grab it tonight? It was on the top of her clothes pile, the room a little too hazy to dig through her dresser for proper pajamas. So what if the soft cotton feels nicer than the thousand-dollar dress she had on earlier? It doesn’t mean anything.

“Maybe.” Vanessa gives a coy shrug.

“I’ve been looking for that!” Brooke gets that cute pout again, and Vanessa has to resist the urge to kiss it away.

“You know it looks better on me.”

Brooke nods, the motion quickly turning to a yawn.

“Sleep, Brooke.” She can avoid Brooke’s lips but not her cheek, pressing a light kiss to the still-rosy skin.

Brooke is asleep in seconds, her even breaths almost lulling Vanessa to sleep as she stands. She’s about to join Brooke under the blankets when the door opens, her mother home after another late shift. The moment seizes her, and Vanessa needs to ask her something, now.

“What are you still doing up?” her mom asks, dropping down at the kitchen table with leftover pizza.

“Um, can I ask you something?” Vanessa asks, biting her lip.

“You can ask me anything, honey. What is it?”

“Okay, let’s pretend you and Dad stole something together and I was really young. And you could tell the cops you did it all and let Dad go free, but you’d never see me again, or you could put Dad in prison so you could be with me. What would you do?”

The intense look in Vanessa’s eyes must be enough to stop her mother from wondering why she’s asking such a strange question at 2 in the morning.

“I would choose you. I love your father, and I wouldn’t want to send him away. But you’re my baby, Vanessa. Even when you’re grown, you’re still my baby. I’d do anything to protect you.”

He took her. He took my baby. Brooke’s teary voice rings through her head.

Vanessa kisses her mom and numbly returns to her room. Brooke is curled up on her side, knees bent—her knees always got in the way, Vanessa thinks fondly—with her arms drawn against her chest, looking like they’re burning with emptiness, aching for someone to hold.

Vanessa watches Brooke sleep, her mind spinning. Brooke didn’t want to hurt Vanessa; she just wanted to protect her daughter. Her baby. Yes, she lied for nine months, but Vanessa can’t blame her. Brooke had just been hurt too many times to take the risk that Vanessa would hurt her too, toss her aside like a broken doll as her parents and ex-husband had done.

Vanessa has always been empathetic, crying over movies since she was a child because she felt it all so deeply. The emotions of others easily rubbed off on her, and she absorbed them like a sponge. She’d come home from the makeup store jittery with the nervous excitement of a teenager off to prom, the hopefulness of someone treating themselves to a makeover after a breakup. But Vanessa can’t even begin to understand how terrifying and lonely things must have been for Brooke.

A husband who used her to make himself look good. Who took away the baby Brooke had been so desperate for, just for money and revenge. To have her daughter there one day and gone the next, leaving Brooke completely alone, too scared to tell anyone as the secret ate her up inside. To have the police use her daughter against her. Constantly getting hurt, over and over, so that keeping the secret was the best way to protect herself.

Aside from her secret, Vanessa never had reason to doubt Brooke’s love for her. Brooke was always open and honest with Vanessa, even when it was hard for her. Brooke sighs in her sleep and Vanessa thinks of the nights they spent together, laughing at episodes of Parks and Rec they’d seen five times. How she could roll over in the night and Brooke would be there, her presence soothing. How she hasn’t been able to stop thinking about Brooke’s snorting laugh, the little hairs that escaped her ponytail and sprung around her face, how she’d give Vanessa her jacket when Vanessa forgot her own.

She hasn’t stopped loving Brooke, no matter how mad she was, how hard she tried to pretend.

Vanessa slips beside her—there’s not really room for them both but she doesn’t care, misses sleeping with Brooke too much. She nestles herself against Brooke’s chest, Brooke’s arms wrapping around her, holding her tight, weighing Vanessa down with safety and adoration.

“I love you,” Brooke mumbles into her neck, and Vanessa stills.

There’s a lot of things that could have caused it. It could be the wine, or the high of success, or the fact that Brooke is still half-asleep.

The same could be said of Vanessa, but when she returns the I love you, she means every word.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #nina west #silky nutmeg ganache #akeria davenport #scarlet envy #yvie oddly #plastique tiara #lesbian au #s11 #oceans 8 au #mateos 8 #athena2 #concrit welcome #submission

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 💀👑 having a party Jimmy: Where's my handwritten 💌? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: not enough 🩸 Janis: 💔 Janis: [pic of jelly shots and other basic party tings taking up cali's fridge] Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: if you ain't fucked with them, I'm dumping you Janis: it's like you don't know me at all 😱😏 Jimmy: Oi, it's a secret, that Janis: not tweeted it yet, we're safe Jimmy: tah, Judy Jimmy: what's the 👗👠 then? Janis: 🤔 Janis: it's either taking their 'style', lack of a better word, and doing it better, 'cos duh Janis: OR doing the anti-them so hard she'll be 😡 the second we walk in Jimmy: so do you want me in 👗👠 or looking like I slept in the park with nowt but a 🔪 and an empty wallet? Janis: both hot 🔥 Janis: probably hates poors slightly more than crossdressers 💙 Jimmy: have I got time to get a vote labour face tattoo? Janis: only if it's misspelled 💘 Jimmy: Duh Jimmy: trying to work out what 🎨 I could get to show I hate lawyers Jimmy: no win no fee finger tats? Janis: 😂 Janis: full of the 🥇💡s today Jimmy: downside being Ian might reckon it's 🥇💡 an' all, I'd have to ❌ 'em out or cover 'em up with something that'll get him fuming before he realises Jimmy: or put the 👗👠 on as well as Janis: that'll do it Janis: dress on a lad is still a dress on a lad, even if it's red Jimmy: getting into a 🥊 with him would only help the cause, nowt more common than a black eye and chipped tooth Janis: not had enough time for my fake pillow baby to be showing, WELL gutted 😭 Jimmy: can make the announcement on the night 🍾 be a lovely surprise for her Janis: godmother, anyone? 🙊 Jimmy: only right after we conceived it in her bunk 💕 Janis: solid HILARIOUS lad speech story, hun 👌 Jimmy: especially when I add in that I ain't sure and it could've been her desk in computer science 😘 Jimmy: oh the #bants Janis: me, tryna remember that time 💭👀 Jimmy: you and sir both Jimmy: draw the line at fake naming it after her though, what's her dad called? Janis: who knows Janis: Mike, John, Peter, Paul etc etc Jimmy: UGH fine we'll call the kid Jeremy Janis: gonna start doing #babytaylor updates around the 🕞 Jimmy: same Janis: graphic details of the abortion, good times, like Jimmy: but the #datenight in hell after is gonna be 🔥 soooooooooo Janis: 💁 #hatersgonnahate #dontmumshameme #howtolosethepregnancypounds Jimmy: 😏 Janis: she lives ages from both of us so where do you wanna meet? Jimmy: middle? Janis: his MIND 🤤 Jimmy: it don't matter to me actually now your ankle's loads better and I ain't gotta carry you the whole way Janis: said as if that were my preference, ever Janis: or that I'm well fat Jimmy: you were warned I'm 👴 and on death's door, mate Jimmy: I've had my 😭 about it but crack on with yours Janis: what else can be said about your stamina at this point, eh Janis: my cross to bear Jimmy: nowt 'cause I can't be all ears for your fake complaints after being deafened by your real praise Janis: if you're so gutted, I can promise you'll never 🔊 it again Jimmy: can you? doubt that Janis: see how easy Jimmy: alright Janis: 👍 Jimmy: come here then Janis: where? Jimmy: where am I round the 🕞 Janis: UGH, don't remind me Janis: my biggest fake complaint 🥺 Jimmy: baby Janis: NEVER see you Jimmy: but I'm ALWAYS 💭💕 about you Janis: that'll be why Mia don't tip 💅 Jimmy: yeah that's TOTALLY the reason Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Janis: if you're THAT distracted how can you possibly remember how to make a decent latte?! Jimmy: 1. there's no such thing as a decent latte 2. I could have you up on the counter and still make whatever ☕ dickheads want Janis: 1. okay got me there 2. not gonna have me there 'cos I'm nowhere near town so 💔 Jimmy: like I said ALWAYS 💭💕 Jimmy: and always fucking here 🕞 Janis: you're saying got time for that bus journey but how do I know it'd be worth it? Jimmy: I didn't promise to go mute on you for a start Janis: yeah? Jimmy: got loads to say, me Jimmy: [🔥 sext because why not] Janis: it's like that then Jimmy: it's however you like, you know that Janis: okay Janis: I want to see you Jimmy: okay Jimmy: I want you here Janis: I feel it Jimmy: I can promise you will Janis: you haven't forgotten just how long this bus ride takes, have you? Jimmy: no Janis: so you're being mean to me on purpose Jimmy: you started it by taking the piss out of my stamina Jimmy: this is just me showing you how much I've got Janis: but I'm already so Jimmy: and what I'm sitting here dead unfazed, do you reckon? Janis: I don't Janis: I think about you too, for real Jimmy: do you? Janis: yeah Janis: if I was good with words I could tell you about it but Jimmy: it's alright, you can show me Janis: when I'm with you, yeah Janis: what about all the times I'm not? Jimmy: you're decent enough at leaving reminders, I think I'll live Janis: you might Jimmy: how full's your 🚍 gonna be? Janis: this time? Janis: 👻town Jimmy: nowt to worry about then, is there? Janis: ? Jimmy: a 💣 could go off and who's about to see or hear it Jimmy: just us Janis: and the driver Jimmy: he'll be chatting to his mate or missus like the one before Jimmy: and you're gonna be 🔇 so you said Janis: 🤏 rude I'm now not that distracting at all, apparently but Janis: okay Jimmy: if he's that into it he can be our 3rd Janis: I'd ask but 😶 Jimmy: it'll go without saying, don't worry Janis: go on then Janis: you have to fill in the silence and tell me what you really think about me 💭💕 Jimmy: [a voice memo to make it even more of a #mood and to make me lol cos do you ever do any work boy] Janis: has anyone ever told you your voice isn't a total turn-off Jimmy: it ain't a compliment that usually gets chucked at me Janis: they're stupid then Janis: more than I reckoned Jimmy: don't talk to them, do I? Jimmy: just you Janis: oh yeah, suppose not Janis: count myself 🍀 Jimmy: dunno about that but you're alright to 🗨 to Janis: known worse, like Jimmy: tah very much Janis: you don't like compliments Jimmy: I never said that Jimmy: I don't know how to take 'em Jimmy: same as you Janis: it's when it's Janis: if you just said the same shit everyone says, it wouldn't even register Janis: but you ain't ever that predictable Jimmy: you're not a lass that's gonna get bog standard bollocks out of me Jimmy: 🥇 muse Janis: I can handle that Janis: you're pretty talented Jimmy: if you're the masterpiece, how could I fuck that up? Jimmy: barely have to do owt for it to be art Janis: be surprised how a lad can, 'cept not at all Jimmy: letdowns don't surprise me, whoever they're off 🌧 remember Jimmy: have had and have done loads, it's why the 😒 face fits Janis: you're far from a letdown to me, where it counts, like Janis: have that for free Jimmy: don't count for much when it's been days Jimmy: even Ian can manage to keep a lass about for that long sometimes Jimmy: but alright Janis: well it's all I've got Janis: and as I said, had worse Janis: you're free to disappoint me any time Jimmy: yeah, me an' all, but no need for me to chuck all the comparisons to my shit ex at you and pretend it'll do for a compliment Jimmy: or pretend that I wanna disappoint you Janis: It don't matter, we know it's inevitable but we also know we don't need to think about that right now Jimmy: it matters a bit Janis: not enough that we can do fuck all about it Jimmy: I just Janis: me too Jimmy: it ain't fair that you can 🧠📖 Janis: can't really Janis: could've agreed to anything there but fuck it, why not Jimmy: that's why I like you Janis: obviously Janis: whole plan hinges on it Jimmy: nowt to do with how fit and mysterious you are Janis: 🤏 tah Jimmy: Oi, I've been telling you how fit you are from day one Janis: don't stop Jimmy: not til it actually 💀💀💀s me Jimmy: how ain't there bollocks rumours about you being a model or an actress an' all? Janis: that'd be 😤💚 not 🤤💖 Janis: anyway, the school trip before the last, some scout came up to me and I thought the gals might actually murder her, or drown her with their 😭😭😭😭😭 Jimmy: right, it's different for lasses, so I've heard off you loads of times now Janis: and lads lack the imagination, not the kind of model or actress they're arsed about Jimmy: and that were why you didn't wanna do it then? Janis: didn't really have a chance, Lucas told her it was highly inappropriate to approach a child on a school trip, code for 'hands-off she's mine' 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you can only find out who people are when I read their tits and tell you Janis: obviously Janis: got the card if you really wanna kickstart your career Jimmy: I just dunno why you don't, it'd be 💰💰 and a 💀👑 fuck you Janis: yeah but it's complicated Jimmy: which bit? the walk or the pout? Janis: very funny, dickhead Janis: 🥇 muse, so I've been told Jimmy: exactly Jimmy: why wouldn't you wanna get the fuck out of here? Janis: there's no guarantee that would happen Janis: might never get booked, or whatever the fuck they call it Jimmy: alright, you're scared of looking a twat Jimmy: but you're never getting booked if your name ain't down Jimmy: don't tell anyone you 🖋🩸 if nowt happens Janis: we've got well distracted from the point here anyway Jimmy: the new point is, stop being a selfish prick and think how 🥇 it'd make me look to have a model girlfriend, tah very much Janis: 🙄😏 you're the fucking worst Jimmy: kindly crack on 'cause I ain't gonna be about forever, like Janis: 👴 Jimmy: ✈👋 or ⚰🌹 either'll do Janis: know which one you meant Jimmy: it weren't me saying you can't 🧠📖 Janis: no brain to pick, you 💘 Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: yeah alright, that lass who tried to snatch you off the school trip'd know more than me but I still reckon you'd be good Janis: shh Jimmy: 🤐 Jimmy: meant to be you on mute though Janis: my point about the point exactly Janis: make it hard for me to speak in a fun way, dickhead Jimmy: [giving her pics because she gave him that glorious dressing room selfie and we know he looks good whenever even when he's supposed to be working lol] Janis: Jesus, boy Janis: how do you just look like that Jimmy: #notamodelbutmyfakegirfriendis Janis: definitely not doing it so you have a 🔥 # Jimmy: but LITERALLY what other reason is there???!! 😱😱 #s are EVERYTHING babe Janis: I know, hardest decision I've ever had to make Jimmy: I'm leaving now, I just think Jimmy: you're so Jimmy: *it Janis: I reckon you are too Janis: like Janis: normal lads don't look like you do Jimmy: I can't fake that hard it being a northern thing Jimmy: 💔 if that means my parents weren't shit at everything Janis: same but that ain't news to me Janis: people LOVE being vocal about how fit my mum is Jimmy: bit rude of everyone to fake Grace being your twin when she's really adopted 🎻 Janis: she looks like my dad's mum and she's devastated, is a gutting comparison however you slice it Jimmy: I should've done more 🎻🎻 Jimmy: I get it, I look like Ian so every other dickhead reckons Janis: 🤏 rude of you to say he weren't fit but I'll allow it Jimmy: 🤏💔 he's my biological father 🤞 the other two can still cut and run Janis: seen your socials that ain't got me in, the kid looks like a small clone of you so 🌧 Jimmy: 💰 on my sister then Janis: usually the middle child Jimmy: she's got his 😡 and it can't be nurture as he don't fucking do none so Jimmy: that's all of us fucked Janis: shit, ain't it Janis: couple my sisters escaped having the same dad but my ma's got terrible taste so theirs weren't no better 💔 Jimmy: how many do you have? Janis: 4 sisters and a brother Jimmy: bet he were 💔 growing up Janis: yeah we made him well gay Jimmy: don't @iantaylor8 Janis: he ain't about to gay bash so it's alright Janis: about to have a gaybie though so pop off on that one Jimmy: he'd be well chuffed to hear he can still have grandkids to bully even though he reckons we're all gay Janis: weird flex on your nature and nurture there, mate Jimmy: duh it's MY fault not his Jimmy: couldn't keep my ex from sleeping with half the north 'cause I obvs weren't and turned them onto a gay lifestyle while I wasn't at it 🙄 Jimmy: #myinfluence Janis: Is Bill your dad? Janis: the drama, the top class storytelling 👌👏 Jimmy: 🤞 you've still got that quill you borrowed Janis: if you fancy it, I'll come about and loudly let him know how gay you ain't Jimmy: he'd have to be about for that plan to work Jimmy: if we held our breath we wouldn't need the 💀💀💀 pact Janis: probably can't turn up at his workplace, yeah, bit weird Jimmy: ☕ delivery Jimmy: just brought my muse so I can do top latte art Janis: unrelated but where is the nearest storage cupboard, tah Jimmy: nowt to see here but everything to hear soz Jimmy: you'd have to break your vow of silence any road, can't have that Janis: not a nun, not an eternal vow Janis: just 'til you admit you like hearing it Jimmy: don't need to tell me on either count Jimmy: and I never denied that I like hearing you Janis: you were taking the piss Janis: so now you're gonna have to be well nice before I even consider it Janis: which is very 💔 for me 'cos I like making noise for you Jimmy: I've been SO nice since Janis: could you be nicer? 🤔 Jimmy: you tell me Jimmy: how can I? Janis: tell me what we're going to do at this party Jimmy: whose house is it at? Janis: #2 Jimmy: we'll find her fave bathroom then, she's bound to spend more time there than owt else Jimmy: ruin it for her Janis: anything that keeps her off the 🚽 is a 🏆 for us Jimmy: we can work out where her 🛏 is after Janis: probably four-poster Jimmy: probably be pretty hard to break Jimmy: but I'm up for the challenge if you are Janis: of course Janis: who am I? Jimmy: you're Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you're fucking Janis: so good Jimmy: you Janis: you you you Jimmy: if it's owt to do with me it'll be 'cause you've inspired me Janis: I'll take that Jimmy: do Jimmy: it's right Janis: I'm already bored of being on this bus Jimmy: it takes the piss but I need to see you Janis: I want it too Janis: takes the piss I live in the middle of nowhere Jimmy: I'll move you in when Jeremy's born, you're alright Janis: #1 dad Janis: get your own mug Jimmy: *🏆 Janis: bit demanding, babe Jimmy: what kind of dad can I be if I don't have nowt to put my 🥃 in? Jimmy: size matters, babe Janis: 😏 Janis: join you once he thing is out Janis: only 🍷🍷 Jimmy: @ Helena for 💊 Jimmy: your back will be killing you Janis: if he's got a head size of yours, I'll 💀💀💀 Jimmy: I'll 🔪 it out for you, what could be more #goals? Janis: basically a doctor 😍 Jimmy: wasted on just giving 🧽 baths, me Janis: not quite bubbles and 🍾 but Jimmy: when we get to the party, you can have that Janis: we can? Jimmy: if you want Janis: what do you want? Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: one you never answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Janis: no Jimmy: yeah Janis: 😡 Jimmy: I want you, dickhead Jimmy: I've said it before Janis: not a 🚨⛓ to wanna hear it Jimmy: 💔 love a crime, keeps me in a job Janis: I'll commit another, hang on Jimmy: 😍 Janis: pretty sure how you're tryna make me feel in public is illegal Jimmy: 🚔'd quicker than the 🚍 Jimmy: and hang on, isn't it working? Janis: if only Janis: it's not not working, but it'd work better if you were here Jimmy: brb just gotta change uniforms 👮🚔🚨 Jimmy: be with you in a sec Janis: love a chase scene Jimmy: 💕 Janis: reckon this driver is a new boy too Janis: going well slow Jimmy: Oi don't lump me in with him Janis: you can still be 🍦 of the month, it's okay Jimmy: is it? first my stamina gets slagged off now it's my tempo Jimmy: gonna need a complaints 🗑 if you keep on Janis: babe Jimmy: soz I didn't ask you to fake 👰💍🤵 or 🤰 on day one, like Jimmy: dead slow, me 👻💔 Janis: like, do you even fake like me, OMG Jimmy: busted Jimmy: reckon you're a bit of a dickhead tbh Janis: 😱😱😱 Janis: brb, throwing myself under this bus Janis: probably going too slow to kill me, THANKS Jimmy: see, what's to like, can't even stick to the plan, you Janis: nu-uh Janis: 'cos I'm NOT dying, but you'll show and think I have and go and off yourself Jimmy: 🤏 Janis: don't you 🤏 at me Janis: cheek Jimmy: keeping 🔇 is one thing but denying you're dying right now is Jimmy: I know you are Jimmy: me an' all Janis: it's very inconvenient Janis: wanting you this much Jimmy: weren't part of the plan Janis: exactly Jimmy: but Janis: too late to stop ourselves now Jimmy: not if you want to Janis: I don't Janis: you know that Jimmy: Alright Janis: it is alright, ain't it Jimmy: with me Janis: you're hot, I'm hot, why wouldn't we Jimmy: I'm not gonna give you a list of why it's a 🥉💡 to do this Janis: we'll survive Jimmy: I don't care if I don't Jimmy: 💀💀💀 me Janis: hot Jimmy: I am, you are, you just said Janis: but seriously Janis: you are so Jimmy: I get it, you're taking 💀💀💀 me seriously an' all Jimmy: right now Janis: you have no idea Janis: if I was even as half as good with words Janis: you might feel a fraction of how I'm feeling Jimmy: I do though, you're doing a decent job of telling me Jimmy: and making me feel like I Jimmy: could just Janis: just Jimmy: 💀💀💀 here in front of everyone Janis: oh Jimmy: inconvenient, I think that were what you said Janis: on the counter, that's what you said Janis: what I'm 💭 Jimmy: I'm not closing up but when I am next Janis: promise Jimmy: are you asking me if I do or telling me you do? Janis: asking you to Jimmy: I wouldn't have said it else Jimmy: but okay Janis: your fake manager better not show up Jimmy: he gets us to so he don't have to Jimmy: 👻🥊 Janis: just saying, some prior warning if you wanna third Janis: no 💌 for you Jimmy: I'm alright with leaving the rest of the dickheads out Janis: good to know Janis: 'cos I don't really rate anyone else right now so Jimmy: I've never rated anyone 🥇 as you Janis: you don't need to chat me up Janis: I'm there already Jimmy: it's just a bit of honesty Jimmy: nowt to worry about Janis: you mean it? Jimmy: Why would I have bothered to say it if it weren't? Janis: I dunno Jimmy: the answer is that I wouldn't Janis: alright, I believe you Jimmy: 👍 Janis: me too Jimmy: ? Janis: I ain't rated anyone else this hard either Jimmy: it's the accent Janis: maybe Jimmy: when you're going all about modelling you'll hear some right ones Janis: obvs Janis: let you know your final ranking then, like Jimmy: Tah Janis: all the male models will be gay Jimmy: chuck them my number Jimmy: Ian will be well chuffed Janis: can't have that Jimmy: Oi, just 'cause you're the first I've fake dated no need to make sure you're the only Janis: you wanna real date them, don't lie Janis: make you look well 🥇 Jimmy: it weren't enough for you to make your brother gay, I'm next now Janis: yeah, my agenda Janis: if you spread that around, I'll 🥊 you Jimmy: UGH fine, I'll delete the tweet Janis: dick Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😘 Janis: how old was you, when you got with your ex Jimmy: why? Jimmy: if you're undercover 👮 an' all, I might believe we're #fated Janis: 💔 now I'm #gutted Janis: dunno, just asking Jimmy: 🎻🎻😭 dunno what we're pissing about at if we're not 🖋 in the 💫 Janis: I'll turn 'round, you're right Janis: been fun Jimmy: 👋 Jimmy: good luck getting that pout and walk sorted out Janis: good luck getting a new muse Jimmy: probably just give up 🎨 nbd Janis: yeah right Janis: it's your 💘 and life Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: come be my personal 📸 and I'll think about it Jimmy: no expert but I don't reckon that's how it works Janis: then I don't wanna Jimmy: you don't need me to hold your hand Jimmy: 🏆💪 you Janis: don't like having my photo taken Jimmy: fake it then Jimmy: you've had loads of practice Janis: true Jimmy: I'll take more, you won't give a shit about 📸 by the time I've been dumped Janis: like it when you do Janis: maybe it's your process Jimmy: I'm sure any photographer'd be chuffed to have a crack at doing the same for you Jimmy: won't be as fit and mysterious as me but Jimmy: you'll live Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🥇💡 to keep the pull out and pray method in mind, take a bit of the homeland with you Janis: ha ha ha Janis: shut up now Jimmy: not having my fake baby raised by other photographers Janis: doubt I fancy explaining that sentence to anyone else Jimmy: you don't fancy it, nowt of Jimmy: so alright, I'll leave it out Jimmy: 🤐 Janis: it's all bullshit Janis: nothing real about it Jimmy: the 💰💰 is Jimmy: and ✈🌏 Janis: I'm not a Hadid Jimmy: I dunno who that is Janis: it'd be less 🤩 and more, local ads and old lady catalogs Jimmy: and what? Janis: ❌💰💰✈🌏 Janis: ✔ 🚌🚍 Jimmy: ✔🐕🏃 then Janis: so soz it ain't as glamorous Jimmy: I doubt standing about in 👙👗👠 waiting for 📸 is Janis: yeah Janis: stupid Jimmy: like the lasses who'd be 😤💚 or 😭💔 Janis: literal Janis: must not know you can't ask the photographer to facetune you just how you like Janis: the breakdowns they'd have with the proofs would be worth it Jimmy: the Q&A they'd die for but'll never get 'cause you're out Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: hmm Janis: could fake that Jimmy: a career? yeah works for Mia's dad Janis: 😂 Janis: my 🥇 inspo forever Jimmy: obvs Janis: sorted then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be selling skinny tea on the socials in no time Jimmy: I'm not even gonna ask what the fuck that is Janis: laxatives Janis: 😋 Jimmy: 💀👑 would have to be fake nice to you for the discount Jimmy: not gonna put them on daddy's 💳 Janis: he's all about triggering that gag reflex Jimmy: my 🥇 inspo forever Janis: 😏 Janis: nice Jimmy: I am yeah Jimmy: SUCH a good lad Janis: not gonna disagree Jimmy: but you LOVE disagreeing with me, Judith Janis: maybe I LOVE making you feel like a lad more Jimmy: there's nowt you 💕 more than a challenge, I get it Janis: 'course Janis: far as you know Jimmy: #thickandnorthern Janis: #fitandmysterious Jimmy: don't remind me Janis: what else do you have to think about that's more fun than me? Jimmy: tip jar Janis: 💔😭 damn, can't compete Jimmy: gonna fare piss poor in this fake divorce now you've ❌💰💰✈🌏 Jimmy: gotta do something Janis: never would've got a penny out of me Janis: not a mug Jimmy: with Mia's dad having to choose sides it'll be 💔😭 all round Janis: how it's meant to be, isn't it Janis: get the best #drama out of the break-up Janis: Bill'll be happy, at least Jimmy: he'll be LIVING Jimmy: #ghostbants Janis: wow Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: am I ready to be a dad or what? Janis: you've got the jokes and the fashion, babe Jimmy: working on the body obvs 🍻🥔🥧 Janis: can't wait to be disgusted by you 💘 Jimmy: helping you fake your morning sickness is just the kind of lad I am Janis: don't need 💀👑 tips Jimmy: 💔😭🎻 for her Janis: good thing she's got the gals to look up to her Janis: not #2 she's clearly better at it, but the other ones Jimmy: I hope she goes live the day she does her in for surpassing her at starvation Jimmy: always need 💀💀💀 tips Jimmy: 🤞🥇💡 Janis: not gonna be as good as ours Jimmy: no need for us to make it look like an accident Jimmy: I know what I want Jimmy: not a tease like those pair Janis: if you were gonna lead me on that much Jimmy: you'd actually have to fake it Jimmy: can't have that Janis: shut up Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: but still ain't been scouted as an actress have you, mate? Jimmy: says it all Janis: 'cos no one knows I'm in character Janis: called method acting, look it up dickhead Jimmy: you know I can't read Jimmy: bit bloody insensitive that you keep bringing it up Janis: 💁 Jimmy: be about right Janis: you started it Jimmy: bollocks Janis: you did too Jimmy: I never Janis: 😒 Jimmy: Oi don't be copying me Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie cos he's a nerd] Janis: oi yourself when you know that's a #kinkunlocked Janis: very rude Jimmy: or very nice Janis: you reckon? Jimmy: you don't? Jimmy: could just leave you with your 💭 Janis: subtle hint Jimmy: I know 🏆 Janis: dunno how good a photo you reckon I can take on this bus but Janis: challenge accepted Jimmy: you said you were 🥇 Janis: not at Jimmy: I rate you Janis: only 'cos I know you've got no mates to send 'em to Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: that why you're always trying to set me up on playdates? Janis: 1. when? 2. 'cos I want any nudes I do to get better views? yeah, obvs Jimmy: any teacher or coworker for a start Janis: that's you, you're insatiable Jimmy: tweet that and keep your nudes out of it Janis: blame me for your 😍 Janis: psh Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: nah Jimmy: yeah Janis: shh Jimmy: I can't 🔊 me Janis: I can Janis: call it your literary voice Jimmy: I still don't believe you can Janis: why not? Jimmy: experience Janis: what does that mean Jimmy: it means you never 🤐 Janis: 😑 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: you're a twat Jimmy: yeah Janis: literally not talking to you ever again Jimmy: sounds fake that does Janis: you'll see Jimmy: I don't want to Janis: well Jimmy: well you're still 🗨 Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: bye Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: yeah, party Jimmy: funny Janis: is it? Jimmy: what are you gonna do, get straight back on that 🚍 when you come off? Janis: I've got shit I can do, tah for the concern Jimmy: alright Janis: bit of a pisstake, actually Jimmy: what? Janis: you've dragged me out Jimmy: done nowt of the sort Janis: yes you have Jimmy: never made you do owt, real or fake Janis: you know what I mean Jimmy: I know you're being a dickhead Janis: then stop replying if that's what you reckon Jimmy: it ain't me who don't wanna talk Jimmy: that's your party trick Janis: it's me who talks too much Janis: can't have it both ways Jimmy: I didn't say I wanted it a different way Janis: stop being a headfuck Jimmy: stop taking what I say wrong Janis: if I could, I would Jimmy: why can't you? Janis: it's me, not you Janis: you just said it Jimmy: no need to make it sound like the start of a breakup Janis: how would you like me to say it Jimmy: just listen to me, how about that? Jimmy: I like how much you talk Jimmy: I like talking to you Janis: but then I don't know what to say back Janis: it's compliments Jimmy: I don't mind not having any back Jimmy: silence is alright an' all as long as it's not a 💔 one Janis: it's not fair Janis: you should feel uncomfortable and all, like Jimmy: I don't feel anything 👻 perks Janis: yeah Jimmy: I'll stop if it makes you feel better Jimmy: signing only or something Janis: I don't feel anything either, that's what you don't get Jimmy: fuming is a feeling, girl Janis: so's 😒 Janis: but we both know, not really Jimmy: we both know that's just my face Janis: sure Jimmy: go on Janis: you clearly feel shit Janis: and it ain't just me that don't like talking about it, that's as obvious Jimmy: What are you the 💕😭😒 👮? Janis: 🙄 just don't chat shit about my party trick when you're doing the same Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: I've said loads to you Janis: I've said shit to you too Janis: I'm talking about now Jimmy: what about now? Janis: you're being weird Jimmy: what does that mean? Janis: dunno Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: let's leave it Jimmy: 👌 Janis: I dunno about any of this, alright Jimmy: and I do? Janis: more than me Jimmy: how'd you work that out? Janis: you've done it before Jimmy: no I've not Janis: real is more of a challenge, if anything, not less, so Jimmy: weren't disputing that Janis: so you have Jimmy: no I've not Jimmy: it weren't the same Janis: obviously not Janis: not at the core Janis: but there's still shit you can use Jimmy: oh yeah, hang on I'll crack on and❌ out whatever I can't then it'll be piss easy Janis: I'm not saying that it weren't real with your ex, you don't need to get defensive Jimmy: you're being a massive twat Janis: not trying to Jimmy: leave it, like you said Janis: alright then Jimmy: 👍 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: Why would you say that? Janis: what part? Jimmy: that there's shit I can use Janis: not like a bad thing Janis: just pointing out it's harder for me Jimmy: how isn't it a bad thing to reckon I can just swap out one lass for another? Janis: if this was real, maybe Janis: just meant experience, like Jimmy: right Janis: I didn't mean it as a diss Jimmy: I'll dry my eyes then, tah for clearing that up Janis: yeah, yeah 😏 Jimmy: ✔ Janis: harsh Jimmy: if this were real, might be Janis: okay Janis: got it Jimmy: I don't reckon you do Janis: you never do Jimmy: alright, it's my fault Jimmy: that sounds real enough Janis: yeah, exactly what I was after Janis: cheers and tah Jimmy: 🎻🎻🎻 Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: what do you want? Janis: don't you know that and all Jimmy: just asking for the fun of it, me Janis: letdown all 'round then Jimmy: it's been said Janis: not by me Jimmy: ⬆ there Janis: that was the first time Janis: 😭 accordingly Jimmy: I will do Janis: hmm Janis: wasn't very believable tbh babe Jimmy: I'll send you the video when I'm on my next break Janis: cool Jimmy: I'll try and look it 💔😎🚬 Janis: it's your whole brand so Jimmy: won't have to try very hard then Janis: 🙌 Jimmy: 🎬🏆🥇 Janis: post you your oscar Jimmy: bring it to the party Jimmy: save yourself the postage Janis: oh yeah Janis: 👍 one Jimmy: full of top quality 💡 me Janis: reason I keep you about Jimmy: duh Jimmy: see you there then Janis: alright Janis: in a bit Jimmy: 😘 Janis: [better skip to this party when you don't come around gal] Jimmy: [such fun] Jimmy: Oi, where am I headed? Jimmy: [after a bit when she has not replied] Jimmy: very helpful, you Jimmy: are we going to this party or what, dickhead? Jimmy: [after another bit] Jimmy: no? alright then Janis: [I'm thinking this is hours later, so the party is over] Janis: had to go somewhere Janis: say I'm at yours if anyone gives a shit Jimmy: tah for telling me when I could have done something to keep us #goals Jimmy: oh hang on, nah, you didn't Janis: sorry Janis: I'm busy Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: literally always Janis: this is different Jimmy: I don't care Jimmy: I didn't ask Jimmy: it's nowt to do with me, what's to do with me is that you didn't bother to tell me you weren't coming Janis: alright Janis: sorry again Jimmy: now you need me to cover for you, yeah Janis: don't if you can't be bothered Jimmy: I do what I say I'm gonna do Jimmy: you can piss off Janis: yeah well you ain't promised so do what you want Jimmy: I don't need to, it ain't that #deep Jimmy: we have a deal and I pull my weight with it Janis: I'm not wasting battery saying it again Jimmy: you heard me say piss off then Jimmy: on you go Janis: bye, Jimmy Jimmy: 👋 Janis: [that's that on that]

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carmintros · 5 years

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@ariwalters / ❛ ｡ ✩ ﾟ my eyes are probably playing tricks on me again, but is that really awsten knight? oh, wait, it’s just adrian “ari” lance walters. yes, that twenty-four year old drummer, who i am pretty sure is a visitor. according to the talk of the town, he is incredibly flighty & unpredictable, yet undeniably outgoing & adventurous. that is precisely why a playground at dawn, a carnival ride that just keeps spinning, chasing waves on a beach, laughing until you cry & jackson pollock paintings remind me of them so much, but then again you know what they say about leos, we’ll see how that one turns out ! penned by kit / mst & they / them

car crash tw, ptsd tw, alcoholism tw

Ari Walters

Age: 24

Gender: Non-binary, he/him

[Between the Bars] - “Haha, not totally sure why this one comes to mind but like everyone says it’s like me with alcohol and stuff but I don’t really see it, I think I’m fine.”

D.O.B: August 15, 1995

Why the name Ari?

“Oh! I was named after my dad ‘cept he was always called Adrian so they called me Ari so no one got confused or anything!! It always worked really good too!”

Ethnicity: white

Relationship Status: In multiple relationships “I fall a little in love with everyone, I think, because everyone is beautiful and wonderful. I’m kind of the classic definition of poly, lol. People underestimate how much communication that takes though!”

Sexual Orientation: pan “Like I said, I fall in love with everyone! I can’t help it, haven’t you ever watched someone go about their life and you can just tell if they’re gentle or rough, if they need love or if they’re loved, et cetera? I love it and I love them.”

Appearance:

Height: 5’7

Ari resembles a puppy with ADHD. He is constantly moving, constantly engaged with the world and constantly interacting with everyone around him. He has to be active. If he sits still he might fall asleep and he still gets nightmares of the wreck.

His signature ‘thing’ has been his dyed hair for years. He doesn’t think he would recognize himself without it at this point. He thought about dying it back to brown for April Fools day one year but realized it’s been so long since seeing his real hair that he didn’t remember what color to get to match his roots.

Ari has an almost compulsive seeming need to be the most colorful person in any space he’s in. He wants to stand out and he does so by being a walking color wheel. Strangely, he manages to make his outfits cohesive.

You can’t get too close to Ari without noticing how tired he always looks. His eyes are always a little swollen and bloodshot and his skin has the uncomfortable thin appearance of someone much older or much sicker than him. If he’s asked about it he jokes that he’s just ugly (though most people would agree he is anything but ugly).

History:

Ari can split his life into a perfect before and after the wreck.

Before. Ari had a perfectly wonderful childhood. He was loved and taken care of in his historical Boston home. His dad taught Marine Biology at Harvard, his mom was the perfect socialite and Ari and his sisters were happy

His days consisted of school and drawing and going to the beach with his dad to learn about the animals. If Ari was to assign an emotion to that period of his life it would be love. If he had to assign a color it would be pink.

His life before was like something from a 50s sitcom. It was perfect. He knows rationally that he’s seeing through rosy lenses. He thinks he remembers his dad having an affair. He knows his sister and he argued a lot and he was such a mischievous child it kept him in trouble a lot of the time. He knows this. But it feels different. It feels idyllic compared to after.

His entire world shattered when he was 13. His family shouldn’t have even been out. If only he hadn’t argued with his sister. If only he had just set the table then maybe his dad wouldn’t have suggested eating out. Maybe if his mom and little sister had been home instead of in California they could have told his dad no, it wasn’t their day for eating out and they would all be fine eating at the house. Maybe if his sister hadn’t forgotten her phone and made them turn back so she could retrieve it because she was so scared of missing a text from her boyfriend.

Maybe….

Maybe they wouldn’t have been crossing the intersection when the other driver plowed through it. Maybe they wouldn’t have spun out and hit another car. Maybe his dad and his sister and the little boy from the other car and the driver who caused it all would still be alive. Maybe…

After. Ari doesn’t remember the crash itself. He doesn’t remember seeing his father’s body crushed against the interior of their car even though he’s since been told he was trying to pull him out. He doesn’t remember his sister’s glassy, dead stare though he was told he screamed at her to wake up. He doesn’t remember the ambulance ride but he’s told he fought the paramedics to try to get to his family.

He doesn’t remember getting to the hospital and being admitted.

He only starts remembering sitting in that big hospital room alone for what felt like hours (he knows now that it was only a few minutes at a time) while nurses bustled past the door outside trying to focus on the lives that were at risk after the crash. Even still, the evening comes in flashes. A teary eyed woman with a heavy accent telling him his mom would be there soon and rubbing his back. A doctor, young and frazzled, bursting into his room to tell the cops to leave and stop asking him about it. The smell of oil and burning metal seared so strongly into his skin it made his head hurt.

He remembers the funeral. Closed casket, both buried at the same time. He remembers packing up the house and selling it and moving to New York. He doesn’t think he felt real during that time. He kept waiting to wake up and find out it was just a terrible dream. Part of him still hopes he wakes up.

–

His mom didn’t try to neglect his mental health when they moved. Despite having help from family she still had to take on two jobs, she had two children to raise alone and she had just lost her husband and little girl. It was hard to be everything Ari needed her to be too.

She did her best. He was sent to a mental health clinic and given regular therapy sessions for a while where he was diagnosed with PTSD and a trauma based phobia regarding riding in cars.

She put him in music lessons to give him an outlet. She enrolled him in an arts high school so he could find similarly minded creative young people and hopefully make friends in their new city.

It didn’t really work. You can’t throw a shattered kid back into society and expect them not to drown. And Ari drowned.

When he was almost 15 he tasted alcohol for the first time at a sleepover. The idea of it had fascinated him since the wreck. How could one liquid be so influential that it would lead you to kill other people? What did it feel like to slip into a haze that strong.

His first sip was revolting. It burned on the way down and he was convinced he could still feel it burning his stomach. He almost put the bottle up and gave up on learning its allure. Something about it still called to be explored and who was Ari to say no?

He snuck the bottle into his bag and drank a little more the next day after school. Just enough to feel warm again and for his brain to quiet and center just a little bit more.

The alcohol made everything better. He felt more human again when he was tipsy. It didn’t take long for Ari to begin to crave it just to function. He started stealing it from his mom’s cabinet and then from the sweet old lady who paid him to take her groceries upstairs. When he was caught stealing from them he started trying to steal it from stores.

He was caught right away, of course, but not by an employee. Instead he was caught by a tall, average looking man in his early 30s. The man, who Ari soon learned was named Sean, offered to buy the alcohol for Ari and invited Ari over to drink with his girlfriend Eliana. Ari agreed immediately.

That night he lost his virginity to the pair. The two adults offered to keep Ari’s alcohol supply always filled so long as he continued to sleep with them. Ari instantly agreed.

—-

After he started drinking he somehow managed to pull his grades up. He felt real when he was drunk. He felt functional. He could do his coursework and practice the drums and paint and even explore New York. He quickly fell in love with the city and learned how to navigate his borough on his skateboard. He learned what buildings he could sneak into and hookup with classmates in without being caught, all the best places for graffiti and where the coolest homeless people hung out.

As Ari progressed through his teenage years his ‘adventures’ got crazier. He broke into the zoo ones and barely escaped getting caught. He hitchhiked out of the city and spent a weekend far upstate before calling his mom from a payphone and getting her to pick him up. He smuggled paint into his homeroom and painted an abstract mural on the teacher’s desk.

Not everything was illegal. He once snuck into an early morning wholesale flower market and convinced a florist to buy him enough white roses to leave one on every grave in The Cathedral Basilica of St. James cemetery and even convinced some of his friends to help him distribute them. He raised money once and bought everyone at his school pizza for lunch so “the lunch people get a day off.”

When he was asked to play drums for a new band that was forming he had to say yes. It was just a chance at another adventure.

—-

He never expected them to get as famous as they did. He figured they would disband rapidly and he could go to college for marine biology. Like his dad. Obviously, that didn’t happen.

Miraculously for all of Ari’s adventures and alcoholism he didn’t have any major scandals during the bands active time. He left that for Jae.

Instead he tried to fly under the radar. He didn’t want anyone picking up on his issues. He maintained his alcoholism, adventured in the cities they toured through and focused on art when they weren’t making music.

—

Slowly he began to tire of not remembering as much of his life as he wanted to. People Ari had no memory of would come up to him as though they knew him. He got an STI without even knowing who it was from. He woke up in places he had never seen before. He destroyed things in his house and drove people away.

The catalyst came just before the band was put on hiatus and he was approached by an ex. Apparently during a drunken escapade he hadn’t used protection and had gotten the girl pregnant a few years ago. She’d had the baby and suddenly he was being asked if he wanted to be a father. He didn’t, of course, but he also didn’t want this to ever happen again.

Ari used the move to California as a chance to change everything. He swore he was going sober and wouldn’t return to the lifestyle he’d had before.

—

Now, freshly sober in California, he’s trying to figure out how to balance his new life. He’s still adventuring but it looks different without drinking. He isn’t sure if he likes it or not.

Personality -

“Ari is a rollercoaster. It could get exhausting except you don’t see him that often since he’s dating half the town at any given time. But he’s a blast anyway, especially when he’s sober enough to know up from down. You will have the most wild dates with him but you’ll have the time of your life. He rented a barn once and hired a band so we could have a ‘good old fashioned barn dance’ because he’d just seen one in a movie. It was insane. Best date of my life. That’s why it’s such a shame that he drinks so much. When he’s sober or only tipsy he’s amazing but the more drunk he gets the more the shine wears away. We actually broke up because he punched a hole through a mirror once and cried that he hated how he looked. I just… couldn’t do that. I hate it but I couldn’t.” Jessica B, ex-girlfriend.

Ari is the pinnacle of a yes-man. He agrees to almost everything so long as no one is hurt and he seems very morally grey. So long as no one gets hurt he’s down to try anything. He is high energy and always seems super cheerful. Ari is the kind of person who draws others to him just by how cheery and upbeat he is.

Ari is a romantic at heart. He says he falls in love with everyone and it honestly feels true. He sees something beautiful in everyone he meets and so he always dates multiple people at a time. It helps that he needs company all the time or the negative emotions he’s pushed away since he was a teenager begin to come creeping up.

He can never let that creep up. When it does it overwhelms him and he feels as scared and as lost as he did the entire year following the crash. He doesn’t talk about those emotions and he definitely doesn’t acknowledge that anything is wrong even when it’s exhausting to keep the smile. He doesn’t want to validate them and make them real. Ari will do anything to keep himself from ever feeling that sad and broken again.

It’s part of why he’s such an adrenaline junkie. His thrill seeking is one of the things he’s most known for in his fame. He has an adventure list a mile wide with everything from “Show up at an airport and take the next flight wherever it goes” to “scattering change along the city streets for people to find.”

Hobbies:

Art. Ari loves abstractivism and unconventional art. One of his projects that he was working on before coming to Carmel was saving every bottle from every drink he had over the course of a year so he could display it as a piece. He wasn’t sure about the title for it yet.

Exploring

Going on dates and adventures

He really wants to get a normal job because he thinks it would be hilarious to, say, work at a deli or diner because he’s technically a rock star.

Health:

Ari has PTSD. He doesn’t acknowledge it but it definitely impacts his ability to exist normally. He’s terrified of cars (he still doesn’t drive but he claims it’s because he would rather just skateboard everywhere) and he acts more recklessly to try to distract from it.

Physically he’s actually pretty healthy (aside from his chronic exhaustion). He eats well and works out, now that he’s quit drinking (besides a few relapses here and there) he is largely a super healthy individual.

wanted connections

Partners!!!! Ari is pan and poly so he is down for however many partners he has at any given time. He loves going on dates and hooking up. The more the merrier as far as he’s concerned, too!

Baby-mama. Ari found out he got someone pregnant and it was the largest catalyst for sobriety. They have a rocky relationship regarding the child because Ari really doesn’t feel ready to be a dad but I’m open to if they’re civil or uncivil outside of that.

Confidant. Everyone needs someone they can trust. Even Ari, who’s close relationships never seem to get past sleeping together and casual dating. This can be a friend, a friend of a friend or even someone he’s sleeping with.

#carm:intro

4 notes · View notes

cescalr · 5 years

Note

ME would like to suggest some fluffy willoughby/don

Don had invited Will over for Christmas.

Their year at Whitewater College, a boarding school purely for sixth-form students, had been fine. so much as any year after what happened at Slaughter could be fine. And it was fine because Clemise was in some other country, and Don had taken a few months, but he did get over their break-up. And it was fine because Don felt somewhat - he wouldn’t say traumatised by the events of that night, but… he wouldn’t say he didn’t feel in some way terrible about them, even now, if he reminisced too long on what happened.

But. That’s that, really. Don doesn’t dwell too much. You just got’t’deal with this sort’ve thing, y’know? Deal, and move forward.

Anyway. It’s Christmas. There’s no point bringing down the holiday cheer by thinking on that.

[Fic continued under break, or you can read it on Ao3; my profile is linked on my blog!! I’d put it here but tumblr is stupid and external links break tags.]

Don looked over from his place lying down to where Will was, still fast asleep on the mattress they’d set out for him. It was early morning, still – the light coming through the blinds in lines, brightening up parts of the room and, unfortunately, shining straight into Don’s eyes.

“Fuck,” Don muttered to himself, as he sat up in order to get away from the too-bright sunlight. “Too early. Shit.”

Well. Not that early; the sun didn’t rise until it was actually morning in winter, unlike the bullshit you got during summer – but still. Regardless, Don hadn’t been quiet enough, it seemed, because Will stirred.

After he blinked away sleep, Will seemed to register what day it was.

“Merry Christmas, Ducky,” He said, as he sat up. Don had tried to get him to use the proper bed and let Don sleep on the mattress instead, but Will had refused.

Truthfully, he wasn’t so bothered about that. It meant no springs digging into his back while he tried to sleep, after all.

“Merry Chris’mas,” Don replied, “Or, It would be, if y’d stop callin’ me Ducky.”

“We’ve had this argument for over a year, Ducky.” Will smiled. “You’re too late, it’s stuck.”

Don grumbled lightly and without heat as he scooted to the end of the bed then stood (so he didn’t end up standing on Will – Don’s bedroom isn’t very big), stretched and moved out of the room.

Once he was back from the bathroom, Will was dressed.

“Y’ever ‘eard of a ‘lazy day’?” Don asked, dryly. “Y’know… what Chris’mas is t’mos’ people?”

“I have,” Will said, plainly.

“Alrigh’ then,” Don rolled his eyes. “C’mon. Breakfast.”

They were home for Christmas, of course, but that didn’t mean the teens at Whitewater didn’t throw a week-long event – mostly drinking and partying in the art department’s basement, thrown by the drama club, because of course – in preparation.

“Donnie!” A girl, rather drunk, called out. “Blakey, Donnie! Over here!”

“Lauren,” Don replied. Will greeted in kind, and the two made their way through the crowd to the girl and the rest of the group.

“Neither of you are drunk yet, and it’s five somewhere!” She exclaimed, shoving two plastic cups of some alcoholic beverage into their hands. “Also, Danny got his sister to cough up the you-know-what, so we’ve got some brownies if you want any!”

“They only just arrived, Lauren, stop trying to get our friends addicted to pot,” Sam said, sighing, as he rolled his eyes. He was sat on a free stool, a book in one hand, and a water bottle gripped tightly and protectively in the other.

“Chill, Sam,” Lauren said, loud enough to be heard over the pounding of whatever EDM mess the ‘DJ’ had decided to play.

“I’ll chill when you stop trying to spike my drink, bestie,” Sam said, dryly.

“You know I love you!” Lauren sing-songed, then grinned. “Oh, my girl’s over there – Sammy, dear, show these lot where the food an’ shit is, yeah?” And with that, she was off – Don lost her in the crowd mere seconds after she’d entered it.

Sam rolled his eyes. “C’mon then,” Sam said, standing. “Food’s on the other side.”

As they walked, Don spotted various different people he’d met over his first year at Whitewater. There was Alex, Lillian, Sabrina, Derek – to name a few.

(Of course, there was Jesse, Zak, Michael – but… well, they didn’t really count as much. Though, Zak was talking with Alex; his cousin. Maybe he’d end up a better person in the new year? Only time would tell, Don supposed.)

“Y’ gotta have fun!” Lillian said, grinning. Sabrina slung her arms around their shoulders. “An’ us homosexuals have to stick together,” She added, swinging them around to face the drinks table instead of the buffet. “meaning - I need some money; buy my wares.”

“I recommend the ecstasy,” Lillian chimed in.

“You would,” Will said, smiling, as he carefully extracted himself from Sabrina’s grip. Don stepped away, and walked over to the table. “Five o’clock somewhere,” He said, shrugging.

“Right on,” Derek grinned, appearing out of nowhere. “I heard drugs.”

“Wanker,” Sabrina rolled her eyes. “I thought you were off with your mates?”

“And miss my main friendos?” He laughed, loudly. “No-way, broseph! I’m tryin’ t’ be a bit more sportsmanly, y’know? More of a team player.”

“They’re not gonna let you on the lacrosse team, Derek,” Lillian said, “Not after last time.”

Derek shrugged. “I can try,” He said, solemnly, and then was gone again.

“Jesus Christ,” Sabrina muttered, rubbing at her forehead. “Anyone else get a headache from his sheer presence?”

“I’m still trying to figure out his species,” Sam said. “I’ve figured Alien, but what kind…” He mused.

“Doesn’t matter,” Lillian dismissed. “Drink! Food! Illicit substances to fuel our various addictions, be they basic-bitch or hardcore asshat! Let’s go!”

Don rolled his eyes, and downed his drink.

And that had been the main theme of it.

So. Don had been home for a fair few days, now; Whitewater let you home for the week before, of, and after Christmas, and Don had made the most of it. It’d been a real long time since he’d seen what few mates he’d had back home – what with Slaughterhouse and then joining Whitewater after being cooped up at home for his mandated week-long ‘recovery’ period, after which he was supposedly supposed to be all better now, off you trot, and then the Christmas he’d spent at home with his mum as the actual ‘recovery’ period, according to her, and then another whole few months before summer, but then his mates had been out of the country, so then it was another couple months until now but - whatever. He’d hung out with what mates he had left, that first week, meaning Josh and Terri and James – Josh’s girlfriend and brother respectively. They played video games and smoked in the empty park and pretty much did exactly the same sort of shit they’d been doing when his mum had been wholly convinced that he was ‘depressed’.

Then Josh and Terri and James went off to Ireland for Christmas, and – Will came to stay. For Christmas week.

And then Will got a phone call, and now he was just going to stay until college started up again, and go back to Whitewater with Don. Logically. Practically.

Don – didn’t really need to ask.

Anyway.

“Ah hope you boys are ‘ungry,” His mum said, plating them and herself a full English. “Chris’mas is the only time ah bother, so you both better enjoy it!”

“Thanks, mum,” Don said, and she smiled and squeezed his shoulder lightly as she walked past. “Thank you,” Will said.

(“Thank you for having me over, M-“ Will started.

Babs’ smile dimmed. “Babs is fine, don’t you worry yourself with formality,” She said, warmly. “Come on in, it’s freezing!”)

“Eat up,” Babs encouraged. “You’re both growing boys, and we’ve presents to open!” She smiled, conspiratorially; they’d gone out Christmas shopping with her individually, and so she knew what they’d gotten each other, and appeared to be having the time of her life with this knowledge.

Don ate his breakfast.

“So. This one of the posh twats you replaced your old mates with, then, eh Don?”

“Josh,” Don greeted. “Bit of a dickhead but the right sort.” He told Will. “Will, Josh.” Don gestured.

“Willoughby Blake,” Will said, “And not too much of a twat, I wouldn’t say. You?”

“Josh Blythe, and I ain’t no dickhead to good people, y’ prat,” Josh said, scowling a little at Don. He fished a pack of smokes out of his pocket. “Fag?”

Will smirked. “Yes;” He said, “I also, do indeed, smoke.”

“Cool,” Josh said, tossing him one. “Terri’s my girl, now, by the way.” He told Don.

“Terri… Blythe?” Don cracked a smile. “That’s a bit awkward, innit?”

“Oi, sod off,” Josh flipped him the bird, then set about lighting his own cig. “Blythe’s a plenty common name.”

“I wonder why…” Will trailed off, leaning against the low stone wall.

“Yeah yeah,” Josh rolled his eyes. “Nothin’ James hasn’t said yet.” He scowled slightly. “Fucken’ incest jokes… made by my own goddamn brother…”

“How’s everythin’ at St. Dunstan’s anyway?” Don asked, changing the topic.

“David’s still a right prat,” Josh said, thankful for the change in track. “Ah heard George is expectin’, but she could just have the flu. Maybe she’s dyin, ah don’ fucken’ kno’. We never talk, do we? Fucken – anyway, Muhammad got into that right fancy college, so he fucked off, along with his family, and jus’ about ev’ryone else ‘as gone t’ some other sixth-form. Yanno, ‘cept me, ma brother and Terri. There are some new arseholes, but they stick to each other.”

“Dunstan’s was always a shithole anyway,” Don said.

“Damn right,” Josh stood, dropped his cigarette to the floor and put it out with the heel of his trainer. “You gotten rusty at Halo since ya fucked off t’ the posh south or what?”

“I did better than you las’ week, y’ dick’ead,” Don said, dropping off of the wall. “C’mon. Y’ever played Halo, Will?”

“It’s fucking freezing.” Will said. “Why are we walking around the town centre?”

“’Cause we got nothin’ else t’do, obviously,” Don said, stomping through the snow. “An ah wan’t’ get an idea of wha’ ah wan’t’ get for my friends, you twat.”

“Should have done this earlier on, then,” Will said, glancing around. “Most places are closed.”

“’Course they’re fuckin’ closed, it’s a Sunday,” Don said, rolling his eyes. “Doesn’ mean there ain’t shit in the windows, y’ twat.”

“Of course,” Will said, glancing around again. “What’s that?” He pointed.

“Fuckin expensive piece of shit, that’s what tha’ is,” Don said, but he walked over to the shop Will was pointing at anway. “Never been inside – ah think they’d chase me off.” He said, dryly. “Smell the fuckin working class on me or some shit, like fuckin’ bloodhounds.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ducky,” Will said.

“There’s fuckin’ diamonds on those ten-thousand pound and up watches, Willoughby, I ain’t going anywhere near that shit.”

“Come on.” Will said, “It’s the only place that’s open.”

“The fuckin’ Macdonalds is open, Willoughby – oh, for fuck’s sake, fine.”

Don walked after Will, who’d already entered the store.

Don looked around, as he caught up with his friend.

“There’s perfectly fuckin’ good watches elsewhere, Will,” Don said. “What a fuckin waste of ten grand, Christ on a bike…”

“I’ve seen better watches,” Will agreed. “But we’re looking at the ones with price tags, which is stupid. Come on. They usually put the better things near the back.”

“The ones with – Willoughby,” Don said, “What –“

“Here we are.” Will said, satisfied.

The watches did not have diamonds on them, which was preferable – but they didn’t have price tags, which was worrying.

“Why the fuck would you look at the ones without price tags?” Don asked.

“Because you can look at them.” Will said, pointing to the fact that they weren’t hidden behind what seemed like five hundred layers of glass and security measures. “And they’re not particularly garish, are they Ducky?”

“No,” Don said, warily, squinting at the watches. “Ah guess not. But this is pointless, I’m – prob’ly jus’ goin’t’ get a watch where ah got my last one, I mean, it lasted a good while.”

“It lasted a year Ducky, that’s terrible,” Will said. “Mine broke the year before last, but I’d had it for nearly nine by that point, and it broke because I broke it.”

“Fuckin’ dumbass,” Don said. “Perfectly good fuckin’ watch.”

“I am aware of that, yes.” Will frowned at the watches. “Do you like any of them?” He asked.

“Can’t fuckin’ afford any of this shit, can I?” Don asked. “Humour me,” Will said.

Don rolled his eyes and huffed, but did take a proper look at each of the watches in turn.

“That one,” Don said, pointing at a simple black-leather and silver with a white clockface and normal, black numerals and clock hands. “Most normal fuckin’ watch here.”

“Man of simple tastes,” Will smiled. Don elbowed him. “Fuck off. Not all of us are fancy posh twats – hell, I think y’d like a pocket-watch, fuckin – I know you would, you’re like that.”

“Like what?” Will asked.

“A posh, sentimental git, obviously.” Don said. “C’mon, let’s go.” He said.

“My cover’s been blown,” Will said, smiling, and Don rolled his eyes. “Fuck off,” He said, good-naturedly, grinning as they left the store.

Previous Summer:

“How are ya this fine mornin’?”

Don glanced over at Terri. “Not bad,” He said. “You’ll be off t’ Ireland tomorrow, righ’?”

“Nail on the head,” Terri said, dropping down onto the floor beside him. “Josh’s scramblin’, try’na pack all his crap. James is off, prob’ly somewhere with George.”

“Thought she had the flu,” Don said.

(George nearly always ‘had the flu’.)

“Those bitches are getting fucking married, y’know tha’,” Terri snorted. “Or haven’t ya seen the loving couple? No fuckin’ flu or baby rumours are gonna keep ‘em off each other’s backs.”

“Guess not,” Don said. “Smoke?”

“Nah.” Terri waved a hand. “Try’na quit.”

Don snorted. “Bet Josh loved that.”

“He’s a dick’ead, but you knew tha’,” She laughed. “God. Love ‘im tho’.”

“Yeah.” Don said.

“You ‘ave a girl?” Terri glanced at him.

“Did,” Don said. “Clemsie.”

“Clemsie?” Terri shook her head. “Posh fuckin’ princess?”

“Don’t,” Don said, shortly. “She had to move country, with ‘er fam’ly. We broke up ‘cause o’ tha’.”

“Shit, Don, sorry.” Terri sighed. She clapped him on the shoulder, then leaned over to look him in the eye. “Still. Better to be friends than to lose everythin’ over a long-distance piece of shit relationship, righ’?”

Don thought of Meredith and Audrey, and winced.

“Definitely,” He said. “We video call. It’s – not that… we didn’ get t’be together very long. Tha’elps, ah guess.”

“Helps a lot.” Terri shook her head, then flopped back against the wall. “’Elps a fucking lot.”

“Yeah,” Don said.

“Y’make any friends at those posh schools o’ yours?” Terri asked. “Other than that Clemsie chick?”

“Kay, Will.” Don said. “Lauren, Sam, Sabrina, Lillian, Derek, Daniel-“

“See, fuckin’ knew you’d thrive there,” She said, shoving him in the shoulder and grinning. “Always though’ y’ deserved better than fuckin St Dunstan’s.”

“So do you lot,” Don protested. “It’s a shithole, nobody deserves that.”

“Victims of fuckin’ circumstance, the lot of us,” She said, slumping back. “But I mean it.” She turned her head and looked at him. “Y’ the best o’ all o’ us, y’ prat. Accept it. Well. I mean, Muhammad’s a medical fuckin’ genius, but that’s a whole different ballpark and he’s a hopeless twat mostly, so I don’t count him If I did, he’d be the best no question – but yanno. I’m comfortin’ you, ‘ere.”

“Thanks,” Don said, dryly.

“No problem.” She grinned, and shoved him lightly in the shoulder again. “C’mon. Dad recently fixed up an old foosball table o’ his fam’ly’s, an’ I wan’na see if you’re any better than Josh or his bro,” She clapped him on the shoulder. “An’ maybe you can tell me all ‘bout your new friends, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Don said. “Sure.”

“Terri?” Don asked.

“Yeah? Oh, Don,” She unlatched the door and opened it. “Come inside, it’s fucking cold. God, I hate winter,” She slammed the door shut behind him.

“Do you know anywhere I could get a pocket watch?” Don asked.

“At an affordable price? Yes, of course, never doubt me,” She spun on her heel. “Or, rather, never doubt my dad. Dad!” She yelled.

“Wha’?” A voice boomed back.

“Y’know where we could find a custom watchmaker’s that ain’t damn expensive?”

“Yeah. I’ll drive yeh. Say ‘hello’ t’ Don for meh!”

“How the fuck does he know?” Don shook his head.

“The man has magic, I swear to god. It fuckin’ annoys me I got mum’s genes in that matter.” Terri grumbled, and walked into the living room. She dropped onto the couch, and Don followed suit.

“Is this for that boy o’ yours?” Terri asked, grinning lazily as she leaned back on the couch.

“He’s – why d’y’ have t’put it like tha’?” Don leaned forward, resting his arms on his knees.

“’Cause I like to make people question things,” She said, “Obviously.” Terri stood and moved into the kitchen, then returned with two cokes. “Here,” She tossed him a can. “It’s shit but mum’s addicted me to it, damn the woman.”

Terri dropped onto the beanbag. “Here’s to a very fuckin’ Merry Christmas, y’ prat,” She grinned as she lifted the can in imitation of a toast.

“Hear hear,” Don opened the drink and returned the toast.

“Dad’ll be done in a few minutes,” Terri said, “But – in all seriousness, is this your prezzie for Willoughby or what?”

“Yeah,” Don said. “Fuckin’ git’s as fancy and sentimental as it gets, so…”

“Y’ sentimental y’self, ya prat,” She said, fondly. “Which is why we’re goin’ the whole nine fuckin’ yards, ‘cause a custom one’s a better fuckin’ gift than any stock shit. Better quality, usually, too, ‘cause the maker actually cares about the fuckin' end product.”

“I’m not fuckin’ sentimental, much,” Don said.

“No, y’ just sappy, y’ fuckin prat,” Terri sunk down into the beanbag chair. “Don’ lie to me, Don, I’ve known ya for nearly our whole lives, mate. And I’m older, so I win.”

“If I’m sappy y’re twelve,” Don put the coke can down on the floor, unfinished.

“And proud of it,” She grinned at him. “Only way I can win arguments, I ain’t no good with words.”

“How’d you do in English?” Don asked.

Terri pursed her lips and sighed. “Fuckin failed it, didn’t ah?” She glowered at nothing. “Good fuckin’ thing I can drop out ah sixth form and jus’ go for a level four apprenticeship, huh? Or was it three…” She trailed off, frowning as she thought.

“Eh, whatever.” She chucked her empty coke can into the bin. “Score,” She grinned. “Anway,” Terri turned her attention back to Don. “You’re a total sap, I’ve got evidence. Point is, I’m strong-arming you to go the whole nine-fuckin’ yards, because even tho’ I can trust you to do it on yer own, without me you’ll totally get scammed out o’ your money.”

“Terri,” Don said, flatly.

“What? Who out’a the two of us knows trade, huh? Not you, y’git.” She grinned. “Also I wanna know exactly what inscription y’ put on the fuckin’ thing.”

“Fuck off,” Don said, leaning back onto the couch. “Thanks.”

“Mixed messages, there, oh Donald,” Terri grinned, and dodged the cushion he threw at her. She picked it up and put it under her head, her grin turning self-satisfied. “I always win,” She reminded him.

“No you don’t,” Don said. “Remember the trip to Wales, in year eight?”

“We never talk about the trip to Wales in year eight,” Terri said, automatically. “That’s the first rule of our friendship. Right above ‘we don’t talk about Alex Connors.’”

“Noted,” Don said, sitting up. “Which is above ‘there was never a Chase Johnson’.”

“See, he gets it,” Terri grinned at Don. “We keep each others' dirty little secrets, we get along.”

“Blackmail is the only reason we’re friends,” Don said, dryly.

“And don’t you forget it!” She grinned, laughing, and fell backwards onto the beanbag.

“You two. Got t’ get goin’ now.” Her dad said, suddenly appearing at the doorway. How the six-foot-five craftsman managed this had always been and always would remain a mystery.

Don’s started to believe the story that he killed a strange looking wasp that had holed up alone in it’s hive in the attic of a customer’s house and that’s what gave him his strange abilities a lot more since the events at Slaughterhouse.

After all – Meredith’s not dead, and neither is the dog. The dog which looks exactly like the one in the paintings… of a dog that had lived hundreds of years prior.

“We’re ready, come on,” Terri said, standing, and Don followed the two Blythes out of the house.

“Ah, Terri Blythe, it’s been a long time.”

“Heyo, Uncle Terrance,” Terri said, stepping up to the counter. “Ma friend ‘ere – Don, y’ remember? – needs to get a prezzie for his boy.”

“Terri,” Don said, sighing.

“What?” She looked at him. “Fuck off, you idiot. Ah’ve squinted at your act for a week, bitch, I know exactly how you feel about him. Or do we need to talk about Alex?”

“Fuck off,” Don said. “Hullo, Mr. Connolly.”

“Donald Wallace,” The man said, surprised, as he removed his glasses to quickly clean them, then replaced them on his face, mostly all the way down his nose, in order to squint at Don as if he wasn’t sure Don was actually what he was seeing. “My my, it’s been – how long?”

“’Bout a decade, Uncle Terry,” Terri said.

“Indeed.” The man replaced his lens cleaning cloth back into his pocket, like some old-timey handkerchief. “So what brings you both here?”

“Like ah said,” Terri stated, slowly, “He needs to get a present for his friend for Christmas.”

“My dear boy, it’s only four days away!” The elderly man said, agitated, as he went about retrieving various designs and sheets for pricings. “I can make it in that time, of course, and as always you will get the family discount – but you’ve left yourself very little time to plan!”

“Ah only came up with the idea yesterday.” Don winced.

“That’s even worse!” The man came to a stop, the desk that served as the counter piled high with various pieces of paper. “You’ll need to make the decision today, but you can ask for the inscription upon completion, thank the lord above,” The man narrowed his eyes at Don. “And next time, son, figure things out before the deadline!”

“Righ’,” Don said. “Will do.”

“Good.” The man sighed, relieved. “Now. Take a look,” He gestured to the pile, “And tell me which parts of which designs suit best. And remember – family and Christmas discount, so don’t say no for no good reason.”

Don nodded, somewhat awkwardly, as he started rifling through the papers. Terri wandered off, to browse through the clocks, which included watches - pocket and otherwise – lining the walls and displayed, lovingly, across tables.

“Eight years old,” The elderly man shook his head as he muttered. “And now – you’ll be graduating soon, I imagine?”

“There was an incident,” Don said, “At the firs’ sixth-form ah went t’. After tha’, we ‘ad t’ repeat lower sixth at a new place. So, uh. One more year.”

“I see,” The elderly man inspected a watch hung on the wall and frowned, then set about buffing out an invisible scuff mark. “Where did you go?”

“Slaughterhouse School,” Don said, and the man froze.

“In Slaughter,” The man – stated. It wasn’t a question.

“Yeah.” Don said. “The School –“

“Blew up, yes, I heard.” The elderly man pursed his lips. “A right shamble. Still, at least you got out safely.” The man turned away from the watch on the wall, then cleaned his glasses – avoided eye contact. “… What really happened?”

Don looked blankly at him.

“I may be old, Donald, but that doesn’t mean I don’t know things.” Terrance squinted at him, then put his glasses back on. “Fracking doesn’t usually cause that sort of damage.”

“Well,” Don said. “They weren’ very –“

“Responsible Frackers, I know,” The man’s nostrils flared. “They give it a bad name, that company. No, what I mean is – stories spread. Legends… an old clockmaker hears things.” The man sighed, and looked at the pictures of his customers on the wall behind the counter.

In a few of them, there was a familiar dog.

“Big fuck off mole rats,” Don said. “We had to blow it up.”

“We?” The man’s head snapped over to Don. “How many people killed them?”

“… Dunno,” Don said. “Mr. ‘Ouseman killed one, mostly, then we beat it the rest o’ the way dead. Then – I used Will’s snuffbox to get another, an’ the lighter Will’d been bequeathed to blow up the school – usin’ the gas,” Don explained. “Clemsie killed a li’le one.”

“I see.” The man paused. “Well. I suppose we’ll see how that turns out eventually.”

“Wha’ d’y’ mean?” Don asked.

“Here.” The man said, instead, handing Don a stack of designs. “Find your friend a pocket watch. And think up an inscription, while you’re at it! Don’t leave that as last minute as you left this! I need to talk to my niece. If you’ll excuse me…” And with that, the old man had bustled him off and walked away, over to Terri who was poking a stuffed cat.

“Merlin died then?” Don heard.

“Not all pets can live forever,” The man sighed. “It’s a burden some must face alone.”

Don looked back up at the pictures.

1891

1912

1925

1956

1993

2001

2014…

Don frowned, then shrugged, and looked down at the designs.

Design 3048: Forever.

Design 246: Eternal.

Design 13: Infinite…

Don raised his eyebrows, then shrugged, and started picking out parts of the designs he thought Will might like.

Previous Summer:

“The Johnsons moved to America?”

“No Idea where they go’ the money either, mate,” James said, leaning back on the couch. Terri, from her place on a cushion on the floor, chuckled. “Inheritance, got’t’ be,” She said, as she dispatched of a few grunts. James nodded as he circle-strafed around a hunter.

“No wonder I ah’ven’ seen Mikey ‘round.” Don said.

“They didn’ tell nobody,” Terri scowled. “Fucken’ Lillian didn’ even bother tellin’ her bes’ friend, the wanker.”

“Lisa cry on your shoulder ‘bout it?” Don asked.

Terri grimaced as she picked up an energy sword, then started running around hitting elites with it. “Yes.” She said, glowering at the TV. “There was snot and everything. Fucken’ wan’ed t’ punch Lil’ for tha’.”

“Can imagine,” Don said.

“’Course y’ could, y’ sap,” James said, and Don elbowed him, which caused him to fail in circle-strafing and get shot.

“Bastard,” James said, elbowing Don back, and Terri laughed, finding an enemy-less corner so James could respawn.

“Willoughby Blake,” Terri said. “Don kno’ yer ‘ere?”

“I have it under good authority that you’ve known him for a very long time,” Will said, “And I was wondering if you could distract him for a – short while, while I go get his Christmas present?”

“Fucken’ell, mate, what’s with posh bastards and waitin’ ‘til the las’ minute?” Terri grumbled, but she stepped inside, and left the door open. Will hesitated before following, and stayed at the door while she put on her boots. “Relax, y’ twit,” She waved a hand, before she started doing up the laces. “I don’ bite.”

“Alright,” Will said, and moved to lean against the wall.

“Da’, I’m off! Seeing the Wallaces!” Terri shouted, as she stood. Terri grabbed her coat off of the stairs, at the end of the bannister, and threw it on. “Fucken’ cold out, innit?” She said, as she walked out of the house. Will followed. “Yes,” He said. “Quite.”

“Post twat,” She said. “You be good to Don, y’ ‘ear meh?”

“I-“

“Don’ even,” Terri warned. “I ‘ate liars. Now go ge’im somethin’ fucken’ nice, and don’ le’im say ‘no’ ‘cause ya spent money on it, ya hear me?”

“Roger that.” Will said, “Ma’am.”

Terri snorted. “Ge’ the fuck out’t’ ‘ere, y’ posh bastard. An’ I expec’ somethin’ nice enough, too, for the good fucken’ advice ah give ya both, y’ blind twits.”

“Initiation’s simple, bitches.” Terri slammed a crate of beer onto the table. “Drink me under, an’ ah’ll respect ya fer life.”

“Y’ for real about this, Terri?” Don asked.

“Well, no, bu’ it’ll ‘elp,” Terri said. “Wha’, col’ feet already, Wallace?”

“No,” He rolled his eyes and gestured with the beer he’d already picked up. “Jus’ remember when Mikey drank you under the table?”

“Not my best momen’, bu’ I’m tryin’ t’ recover from tha’, ‘ere. Whoever ‘andles their drink bes’ wins.”

“Ah know who’s gonna fucken’ lose ‘ere, then.” Don said.

“Fuck off, Ducky,” Will said. Terri grinned.

“Fuck’s sake, Willoughby,” Don downed some of his drink.

“Don, Donald, Duck, Ducky. Ah ge’ it, tha’s cute,” Terri grinned, leaning back on her beanbag. She downed a beer, then slammed the empty can down on the floor. “Pacing’s for wimps,” She announced to the ceiling.

“If y’ say so,” Don said. “’S no’ fuckin’ cute.”

“I’m older, what I say goes, it’s cute,” Terri said. “Get me drunk enough, Blake, mate, an’ I’ll tell ya stories about ‘ow much of a sap ‘e is.”

“Fuck off,” Don said. “Or I’ll bring up Cha-“

“Two can play at tha’ game, Donald Wallace,” Terri said, interrupting, as she reached over for another can.

“I have to say, I am curious,” Will said, supressing a smile of amusement. He was onto his second can.

“Ah-ah,” Terri waved a hand at him. “Y’ get t’ know Don’s embarrassing shit, but ah jus’ met ya. Which means y’ don’ get t’ kno’ mine… problem ‘ere is if ya ‘ear Don’s from me, ‘e’ll tell ya about mine. So, yanno, that ain’ ‘appenin’.”

“Shame,” Don said, downing his drink. “Really.”

Lunchtime on Christmas Eve saw a small get-together, with the two Blythe families and the Wallaces.

“Lisa’s still fuckin’ angry at Lil’, an’ she’s over at her gran’s for the yearly fam’ly gatherin’, so she ain’ showin’ up this year. Jus’ us lot, Mrs. Wallace,” Terri said. The two families would be leaving later on, to be in Ireland for the next day. Cutting it a bit close – but then, that was the Blythes, for you. Both sets of them.

Babs smiled at the two sets of Blythes as she stood aside and let them in. “It’s Babs, Terri,” She reminded the girl, like she’d been doing for years. “Come on. Group photo – Don, grab the camera, I’ll go get Dad.”

“Mum-“ Don started, but she was already gone. He sighed, shook his head. “He’s fine where he is,” Don mumbled, but he went to go get the camera anyway.

“Ev’ryones ‘ere,” Don said to Will. “Terri, James, Josh, David; ah, Terri’s dad, an’ Mr. and Mrs. Blythe.”

“So all the Blythes, then,” Will said. “Christmas eve dinner?”

“Fucken’ lunch, mate,” Don said. “Dinner’s later.”

“Ah, but it’s breakfast, dinner, and supper or tea.” Will said.

“Fuck off,” Don said. “We’re doin’ a fuckin’ group photo. Mum’s gettin’ dad’s urn. Let’s go.”

Will nodded, and followed Don into the living room. It wasn’t too cramped, but it was a fair bit cramped. Babs placed the urn on the mantlepiece of the electric fire. “Ev’ry one, gather round, I’ll jus’ set up the camera.” She said, taking it from Don. “Found out a remote activation method, bloody handy,” She explained as she went. The Blythes used the urn as a dividing line, and made sure to leave enough space for the three remaining individuals. “C’mon,” Terri said, gesturing. Don walked over and stood next to his dad, and Will, being tall, went on the back row, between and behind Terri and Don. “There we go,” Mrs. Blythe muttered, then smiled at them. There was space on the other side of the urn for Don’s mum, though it was a bit of a squeeze, and as Babs set up the camera, she asked everyone to move a bit closer in, so they were all in frame, and posed properly. Babs then quickly squeezed into place, and they all smiled at the camera as the flash went off a few times.

“Great!” Babs smiled, and Mr. Blythe – Josh’s dad – clapped his hands. “What’s for Lunch, eh Babs?” He asked.

“Sunday roast,” She grinned. “Wen’ all out for it, so be grateful it’s not sandwiches. Le’s go eat!”

"Present time!" Babs said, clapping her hands once after she'd received confirmation that they'd finished eating. "I'm gon' go grab somethin' while you two start - go on, go on!" She gestured, herding them into the living room before absconding up the staircase.

"Camera," Don said, knowingly, then flopped down onto the couch.

Presents from their friends had been coming in since the Christmas holidays started - Don's not entirely sure how Lauren knew to send Will's here, or how or why she'd convinced Sam and the others to do the same, but he hadn't paid much attention to that. Will had brought ones that Clemsie and Smudger and Kay and Hargreaves and Wootton had sent - after all, if it does anything, living through what happened at Slaughterhouse at least makes you a permanent entry on the Christmas shopping list - and Don's had arrived last week. The various Blythes' presents were also under the tree, a couple joint presents; Josh's family got Don and Will and Babs one present each, so that made three presents from the four Blythes, and David got Don and Babs - the Wallaces - some chocolate, but Terri gave Don and Will and Babs a present each - so four from the two Blythes.

Trying to figure out which bag of presents had been from which Blythe family had been somewhat futile. Thankfully, the individual presents were a bit more obvious.

(Both families were - bad at tagging, still, though.)

"Alright, which first?" Will said. Don sat up, stood up, and walked over. "Let's get the Blythes over and done with," He said, "Can' fuckin' figure out which is which for them, an' it's bugging me."

"Indeed," Will said, picking up one that had 'Will' on it in sharpie. Don picked up his, and dropped back onto the couch. He opened it, and a note fell out - Terri's, then; she always wrote little notes that she stuck inside the packaging, instead of on it.

Told him you like him yet, dickhead?

- T.

Don resisted the urge to facepalm and hid the message amongst the wrapping paper. "Who's your from?" He asked. Will was struggling with an overly sellotaped lump of a present. He found a place he could rip it from, though, and quickly did so. "Terri," He said, frowning slightly at a message written on paper with, of course, sharpie. It bled through, but Don didn't try to read it via the back of the paper. Will scoffed, lightly, and dropped the message, which disappeared into the wrapping paper. "Your friend has an interesting sense of humour," Will said.

"She's like tha'," Don said. "Always 'as been."

Don grinned at the copy of a Halo game he didn't yet have - a present that was as much for him as for her, likely since co-op was the only way she ever accepted anyone play Halo - and placed it down on the couch next to himself. "What'd she get you?" Don asked.

"A - puzzle box." Will frowned at it. He shook it, and there was something inside it, but how to get in there was - well, a puzzle. "... Interesting choice."

"She got me a cardboard box once," Don said. "And a coat hanger."

"Why?" Will blinked at him. "No' sure," Don shrugged. "She got 'er own boyfriend - b'fore they were t'gether, obviously - a keytar once. Tha' was mem'rable."

"... Alright, then." Will said, for lack of a better response. Don wasn't sure what you could say to that, anyway.

They made their way through the rest of the presents, and on the fifth Babs entered the room.

"Candid." She said, grinning, and Don sighed. "Mul'iple, actu'ly."

"Mum," Don sighed, and she laughed. "Come on, Don, grab Dad, would you? ;E's still in the dinin' room." Well. The kitchen/diner, since it was one room with a table crammed in the corner.

"Alright," Don said, standing. "Yeah, I'll get him."

Don left the room, and Babs sat down on the couch.

"See, I've known Don for a very long time, bein' 'is mum an' all," Babs said. She turned and smiled at Will, "An' I knew 'e liked tha' Clemsie girl from the momen' 'e saw 'er - an' ah can tel when he's grown t' like someone, too."

Will didn't reply.

"My boy's go' a big 'eart, and 'e cares abou' you," Babs said, plainly. "An' I'm no' gon' warn y' abou' no' 'urtin' 'im, b'cause ah kno' y're no' the type," She said. "So jus' let y'self be 'appy, Will. Y're a good kid; y' deserve it."

Babs stood and set up the camera as Don entered the room. "Will, be a dear and take the photo, wou'd y' please?" Babs asked. "Don, bring y' father over 'ere." A few flashes later, the photos were taken. "Ah've got' go take a few presents round to our Jackie's," She said, "So ah'll be back soon enough. You two carry on with the presents, don' wait for me." And with that, Babs was gone.

Don shook his head slightly, and moved to the tree. "Which next?" He asked.

"Ah - why not the Lawrences?" Will asked.

"Then the other 'slaugh'erians'" Don grinned. "Sure." Don tossed Will his present from Smudger - customary, generic; they hadn't really gotten to know each other, after all, Smudger and the rest of the group, since after the events of Slaughterhouse and everyone went home from that police station, well, the Lawrences moved country, so. Don put the riculously expensive chocolate - the same as what Will had gotten from the male Lawrence - aside, and then grabbed Clemsie's presents for them both. He handed Will his, then opened his own.

Don, a letter read, Merry Christmas! It's been such a long time - we should all really meet up in the new year. Kay will be back in England in the summer, and we'll be visiting family then, so I could pull some strings. It'd be nice, to see everyone again. Staying friends after everything that happened - well. It feels like a good idea to me.

I hope you and Will have had a good time at that new college - I keep getting letters from Wootton, bless him, about the place his mother sent him to this time. At least Hargreaves is keeping an eye on the poor boy; much like you, they were lucky enough to get sent to the same place. I'm pretty sure if they could, the Hargreaves would have adopted Wootton already, but - well. Given how often he's with his actual family, he might as well already be Isaac's little brother.

We really should all speak more. It's not like we have phones and skype or email or anything... certainly, we have a lot better than letters. I mean. Really.

See you both in the new year!

Signed,

Clemsie.

"Got a letter," Don said. "You?" "Yes," Will nodded. "Something about getting the gang back together, as it were."

"'S no' a bad idea," Don said. "Ah mean. We 'aven' spoken in around a year. Tha's a while."

"True," Will said.

"Guess we'll see if Smudger's therapist thinks it's a good idea," Don said, because though they didn't all keep in much contact, they did say the important things occasionally - usually on gift-giving days. Really, they did need to keep in better contact.

Ah well. That'll be a new years resolution, then.

Don turned to the present, which was a simple photo album. I heard you take photography, now, some paper masking-taped to the inside cover read. Here's a place to store it all. :)

Signed, Clemsie.

Signed, Smudger.

"Huh." Don shrugged and put down the album. "Alright."

Will put down his present from Clemsie and ostensibly from Smudger - obviously the presents were from Clemsie, but Smudger had signed the notes masking-taped onto both, if not the letters.

Don took the present from Kay Will handed over to him and opened it.

Clemency's gotten it into her head we're going to catch up in the summer. I'll see what I can do, since I will be back in dreary old England, but in the meantime - I heard you take maths.

You might want to train up your logic if that's the case, so I've given you a 'how to' book on chess, free of charge. I usually make people pay for this since I wrote it, but. We're friends, and it's Christmas, so.

Just try and fucking beat me next time we meet, I dare you, Wallace.

Signed,

Kay.

Don shook his head and held up the book in response to Will's identical copy. They grinned, slightly, at each other, then reached for the next presents. Hargreaves sent them both identical copies of dungeons and dragons, which he'd presumably sent everyone, and Wootton had sent them fudge. After that, it was Babs' presents - a scarf for Will and a camera for Don (who attempted not to think about how much that cost; most of the Christmas shopping budget, probably) - and then it was time for the presents they'd gotten each other.

"You first," Will said, handing over his present to Don. Don took it - internally thankful his present didn't go first, for a multitude of reasons - and opened it.

After the cardboard box and the wrapping paper had been put aside, Don looked at the watch - repackaged, likely, so Don couldn't see the price just from looking at its original box. It's the one he'd pointed out as the one he'd liked best, simple and sleek and fucking expensive, probably, and completely out of his range.

"Will-" Don started but - "Just take the present, Ducky," Will said.

Don tried to read his expression, for a moment, but gave up and nodded, slowly. "Well? Go on then, Willoughby, open yours," Don said, gesturing, as he finished removing the protective wrap from the watch and put it on.

Don waited as Will unwrapped the pocket watch, and waited as Will took a moment to look at it.

"I..." "Just take the present, Duck," Don said. Will smiled at him, and Don smiled back.

"There's an inscription," Don said, gesturing. "On th'back."

Will closed and turned over the pocket watch.

Bequeathed.

Don watched his face, quitely - Will's reaction was immediate. Many feelings were quickly telegraphed across his face, but Don only caught a few - wonder, surprise, but chief among all -

Panic.

Ah. Shit.

Will stood and walked out. Don hesitated, but this was much less life-threatening than the last time he'd hesitated to go after Will - so, he went. It didn't feel much less nerve-wracking, though, but Don didn't focus on that part.

Don had heard the front door close, and sure enough - when he opened it, Will was there, out on the cold, snow-covered pavement.

"Y'kno', if y'ate the gift, y' can jus' tell meh - y' don' 'ave to leave the 'ouse y' dramatic git," Don said. It was cold, and he was still in his pyjamas, and the posh twit currently stood outside his house was probably the most interesting thing to have happened to his little council estate street in years, but at that moment Don didn't rightly care much what Mrs. Johnson saw from between her half-closed curtains, or what Clara-Anne Jenkins could spy on from behind her blinds.

"It isn't that I hate it - It's more - I -" Will stopped, mid-sentence, frustrated enough to start pacing, back and forth, crunching a short path into the snow. "'S'more wha', Willoughby?"

Will didn't reply immediately, just let out a breath that clouded in the cold air.

"It doesn't matter, Ducky." Will said.

"'Course it fuckin' matters, or y' wouldn' 'ave left th'fuckin' 'ouse." Don pointed out, reasonably.

"Donald."

"Willoughby." Don walked over, mindless of the cold and the snow, and frowned at the other eighteen-year-old. "I don' wan't' renact a fuckin' soap-opera, jus' tell me wha' the fuck is wrong."

"Nothing's - wrong," Will said. "I just - I didn't... No-one's ever thought I or... anything about me was worth remembering. Especially not - something like that. Something that..."

"Important?" Don asked, quietly.

Will nodded.

"Well. I do." Don said. "Fuckin' 'ell, Duck, o'course I do."

Will stared down at him, for just a moment - and then, carefully, a move you could almost call furtive - leaned forward, and pressed his lips (cold, chapped - but soft, softer than he'd have thought) to Don's.

Somewhere far away, a door slammed shut, and Will moved back.

Before he could get the wrong idea, Don caught Will's hand with his own. "Y' kno', Will, I kno' yer cold-blooded an' that, but I'm fuckin' freezin' out 'ere."

Will laughed. He let himself be led back inside the house. Don dropped his hand and closed the door, then turned to look at Will again. Before he could say anything, of course, the door opened.

"Candid." Babs said, grinning. "Tha' was a beau'iful momen', really; one for the scrapbook."

Don sighed.

"First've all," Don said, "Mum, what the fuck, d'y' think y're doin'?"

Will grinned. "I, for one, think it's sweet. I should like our moments together to be captured."

"Ah, shut up, ya sentimental git." Don rolled his eyes. "Mum, 's weird, y' really don' need to."

"Actu'ly, Don, ah do," She said, frankly. "Mem'ries're precious thin's. Bes'to capture 'em so they're no' forgo'en."

"Alrigh', alrigh'-"

"Great!" Babs clapped her hands. "Now. Who wants lunch?"

#shr #slaughterhouse rulez #fanfic #wallacake #christmas fic #belated I kno I'm sorry #A 'Nonnie | anon asks #All The Asks | asks #i am truly sorry about how long this took #cowritten by edgycinnamoncocanut #<3

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cottonsecurityblanket · 6 years

Text

So I watched Citrus ⚠SPOILER WARNING⚠

And I have issues with it. Now Ive never read the manga a day in life. Ive seen fan art of it however and knew it existed but never what it was about. If im missing out on some parts message me and explain please. I’m not going to hate the show. I don’t hate the show at all. I just have issues with it. Now here’s my thoughts.

Note there’s only 5 episodes on Crunchyroll but here’s my thoughts so far

So Mei is the Class President and has been since she was a first year. Her grandfather is a Chairman of the school and Mei’s father marries Yuzu’s mother and they move to another district. For some reason Yuzu’s mom forgets to tell her that she’s got a younger step sister and for some reason Yuzu’s never seen her new stepfather. But Im gonna ignore that.

Yuzu wants to fall in love and get a first kiss and get a boyfriend. Nice plan for a high schooler. So she walks in and this girl with springy pig tails named Momokino gives her shit. Mei comes up and feels up and down Yuzu to get her phone from her pocket. Later on in the day she meets her friend Harumin. Harumin explains to her that everyones not outgoing and follows the strict rules. Oh and um everyone looks EXACTLY the same. Black and/or purpley hair, beige top, greenish plaid skirt, all shy and reserved.

So it’s implied all the girls in this all girl school fuck each other before they get married off to someone after high school. So fast forward and Yuzu finds the hot teacher and Mei kissing and later it’s said theyre supposed to be married to each other. Later in the day Mei goes to Yuzu and her moms apartment and then Yuzu making an effort to talk to Mei and get along as step sisters. Mei ignores her this entire time so Yuzu has to talk about a subject that’ll strike a nerve to get conversation. Mei takes her down and kisses her.

At that moment I do the Oprah gif where she’s squinting. It’s not incest cuz they’re not real sisters but I’m sure a good majority would argue it is and I can understand that but lets ignore the incest is wincest meme right now.

At this point Im sure Im missing a lot of aspects in the anime and manga. I know that there’s a good following for the manga but i haven’t seen much for the anime cept a few screenshots and comparisons to the manga. This is what I think about the characters and plot watching it blind I guess.

Mei….bothers me. Characters like her I have an issue with because they always initiate the first move like kissing them or some shit and then are always confused about why the Protag is so confused and can’t control their emotions. I don’t usually watch romance anime like this in fact the only one I liked was My Little Monster and Sakura Kiss but that’s another thing. I get it Mei you and your dad have a bad relationship and haven’t seen him in five years and you live alone. Alright I get it but that doesn’t give you the right to fuck with Yuzu like that.

I’ve seen a post that Mei is literally sexually assaulting Yuzu and that it’s a toxic relationship but I don’t wanna go that far. Ill just chalk it up to anime being anime. It’s not the first time we’ve seen characters force a kiss but back to the topic on hand.

Mei in the anime is such an unlikeable character. In Episode 3 Yuzu sees that Mei’s stuffed animal is ripped and she sews it back together as if nothing happened. Later in the episode when Yuzu has to stay at school late to clean the bathroom Mei goes through her stuff and finds a Manga named Peach Sisters and confronts her about it saying stuff like “if someone saw you with this theyd be disgusted” or “you should be ashamed.” so Yuzu kisses her and says all this is happening because she kissed her.

Finally we address the situation. Yuzu is absolutely right. All the shit that Mei detests so much is all her fault. She could’ve engaged in conversation and at least put in the same effort Yuzu was putting in and they would’ve bonded making the “romance” between them understanding. But no. Mei just completely ignores Yuzu and gives her the short end of the stick.

In episode 3 Mei says the only reason why she kisses her multiple times in the other episodes is to shut her up. But in episode 2 when the two girls fall in water Mei kisses and licks Yuzu’s neck while Yuzu is thinking about why she kissed her and Mei says “You looked like you wanted me to touch you.”

So what’s the truth Mei? Are you taking advantage of your older sister or are you not?

I hate Sasuke so much. Mei is starting to get close to that amount of hate. Yuzu is doing mental backflips to figure out her feelings and what to do while Mei is doing everything except thinking.

Oh yeah in episode 2 when Yuzu AGAIN tries to make an effort on what’s going on with Mei offering to help, Mei throws her on the bed and starts ripping her clothes off only to be caught by Old Grumpy Gramps. Yuzu is expelled and Mei does fuck all about it while in other times Yuzu stood up for Mei. In the begining of episode 2 while Mei gets chewed out by gramps Yuzu stands in front of her and says “if you want to get mad at someone get mad at me. She has nothing to do with this.” Gramps doesn’t listen and at the end of the episode gramps has a well deserved heart attack. And who helps him? Yuzu.

I think I’ve ranted about Mei enough now onto Yuzu. In the first episode she monologues to us about how she talks about having boyfriend’s and kissing them when she hasn’t even had her first kiss yet. I did the same thing in high school and Im sure others have too.

Yuzu is a likeable character. She’s blonde and has personality and very well rounded I guess? I don’t have problems with her. If anything I feel bad for her because of what Mei puts her through. It’s not only Mei. Is this other girl too. I can’t think of her name. Like this has taken me a few days to write when it shouldn’t. I think her names Kono-something but well get to her later.

Harumin is Yuzu’s friend in the situation and has NONE of an idea pf what’s going on with Yuzu and Mei however she’s there to help and is a pretty good friend. In episode 5 they share an indirect kiss when Harumin feeds Yuzu something from her lunch and they do it so naturally. As platonic as the relationship may be I prefer theirs over Yuzu and Mei’s SOOOOOOO much more. If this show threw a curveball and ended with Harumin and Yuzu being a thing I would NOT be upset and id accept it as such but that’s not gonna happen.

Now onto the friend. Her name is Kono or Kokno but for now let’s just call Kono. So she’s got purple hair with girl pigtails thats in curls and she’s the vice president. She’s known Mei for what seems like maybe Kindergarten? I dont know which school years are similar to ours (Im from America) but that’s just my guess. So Kono has this disdain for Yuzu because she doesn’t conform to rules and is all of sudden getting close to Mei. So after episode 3 in episode 4 she keeps asking Yuzu what the two did some conference room or what not and Yuzu doesn’t tell her so in Kono’s….trial to assert dominace over Yuzu she goes and licks and touches Mei’s ear. That turns into Mei moaning and then Kono slides her hand under her skirt and the scene cuts away to the afternoon sky. Later in the episode Kono tells Yuzu to meet her at a cafe or something and the two talk and Kono says they “crossed a line” which DOES NOT sound good by the way. Im not sure if that’s the english translation of what she said or what but it doesn’t sound okay (Im watching Sub). So Kono lies and says Mei wants NOTHING to do with Yuzu and never wants to see her again. Yuzu’s already thinking “but we live together”.

This whole time Im thinking the two might’ve fucked or something BUT in the episode 5 Mei tells her Kono made advances at her and she told her no or something. Kono sees the two walking outside of school and Mei tells her to stop putting weird thoughts in her head and Kono is sad and stands there.

In episode 4, Mei tells Kono that she and Yuzu are step sisters FINALLY and anytime Yuzu tries to be a good older sister Kono sees it as making advances on her.

I don’t like Kono. She’s very annoying. Im not sure if she was like that in the manga or not but again Im going in this anime blind.

She’s honestly very annoying and that’s just how I feel. Gets in the way and just don’t like her character.

Mei and Kono? Can’t stand Mei. Kono is…slightly tolerable.

Yuzu and Harumin? I like them. They have better chemistry than the romance intended.

I cannot stress how much context Im sure im missing and I WANT to read the manga and know stuff but sadly that’s just not possible. If ANYONE could link me to translated versions of it online great. Now Im gonna talk about the plot of this.

I don’t watch romance. The only two I watched and liked was Sakura Trick and My Little Monster. In the show My Little Monster there was plot. However little it was there was still plot but it kept it entertaining to watch. Sakura Trick barely had plot at all but it had a storyline and had lots of lesbian kisses. More than the entire anime industry combined and that’s where the show got it’s charm.

Another show I watched and liked called Yuru Yuri. The girls start a club. That’s it. Don’t ask anything more of them.

Citrus? If you asked what the plot was…I couldn’t give you a simple sentence answer. Im not sure…where this anime is going. I know they’ll end up together dispite them being step sisters but for the plot right now I have no clue what or where it is. I think it’s just me being stupid but right now I can’t really think of a plot. The closest I can think of is “two step sisters who have some things to work out.”

I don’t have any….comments on the animation. Modern. Clean. Looks nice for 2018 animation. Nothing really striking except when Yuzu is in uniform she’s very pleasing. Color scheme wise I mean. It’s no Ancient Magnus Bride so….I guess I mean….animation is okay I guess.

Overall, I don’t hate the anime. But I don’t love it. I have issues with it and Im going to continue to watch it cuz I want to see where this will go. I want to see Mei’s character growth and I want to see plot. I want to see this get good and I want to like this anime and Ill stick around as long as I can. After a few more episode’s Ill do a part 2 on what I think.

For now….3 outta 10. I’d have to have a lengthy conversation with someone before recommending this to them.

So those are my thoughts on the anime Citrus. If you wanna talk about it with me just DM me. If you’ve read the manga and what to give me context great. Thanks for that.

Considering doing anime reviews as a thing.

#citrus #anime review #my thoughts #yuri anime #yuri manga #lesbian anime #anime #manga #yuzu #mei #original content

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mzargentum · 7 years

Text

You’re The Boss (PromptoXOC) NSFW

Word Count: 10,064

Warning: Rough sex, language and Dom!Prom.

Song: Easy by Sky Ferreira.

Special Guest: Six Ulric. Created by @insomniasix Love you, deary! 💕

Part II

“Bye, guys! Come again!”

A young man waved a couple goodbye as they exited the tea shop. Pulling his apron over his face to wipe what felt like a pool of sweat from his blonde brow.

Prompto Argentum was a 20 year old photography student that attended Crown City University. Despite being an average student in highschool, Prompto got in on a full scholarship thanks to a certain best friend putting in a royal favor. Full paid tuition, books, the whole deal. Although, even if your best friend is the Prince of Lucis, you still need to eat…and rent needed to be paid.

About a year ago, the young plebe applied to this hole in the wall tea shop at a dead end road in uptown. As soon as he walked in, he caught the attention of every female in the cafe. His unruly blonde locks were the first thing they noticed before his freckle dusted cheeks and pearly white goofy grin behind a pair of cherry red cat lips. His tight black t-shirt plastered against his lean muscular build with his grey skinny jeans that curved perfectly over his ass. His lighthearted voice that was as warm and crisp as a light campfire and those big…beautiful cerulean eyes. Like the ocean glistening against the sunlight.

Astrals above! He was gorgeous!

It was like sunshine itself had walked into the cafe that day. All the girls practically begged for him to work there eliminating any reason for an interview. The ladies adored his charm, and he exhibited a rapport with the guys. Prompto Argentum was everyone’s favorite.

As time went on, people came and went. Friendships were made and lost and after 8 months, Prompto was promoted to assistant manager of the cafe which was great for business, but not so much for Prompto. Managing time between classes, his friends, his hobby and sleep was difficult, but the pay was nice.

The only real issue with it was that Prompto didn’t have a car. Sure, generally walking wasn’t so bad. He could admire his surroundings along the way with his trusty camera and from work to home was only about 15 minutes. However, from home to school was about a 45 minute trek on a good day and there weren’t many of those.

A few months ago, the university built a small hangout for students. It was a small cafe that served food, coffee, tea, you name it and they were always hiring. Prompto contemplated moving on campus for a while. Tuition was already paid for, he wouldn’t have to worry about rent, it would be easier for him to save up for a car and he could focus more on his photography than he was usually able to nowadays. It was pretty much the perfect package. There was only one thing keeping him here….

*door chime*

“Heeeeyyyyyyyyy!!!”

Her.

A lightly accented voice, as pure and sensual as a the hum of a viola, rang through the man’s pierced ears before he looked over his apron to view her.

“Hey, Muerlin!”

Various customers, as well as the working associates, greeted the shoulder shimmying girl as she shuffled past the tables toward the counter.

Muerlinian Zephyr. The 20 year old punk rock foreign exchange student from Tenebrae. She attended Crown City University on a full scholarship, a friendly favor from the Tenebraen princess, Lady Lunafreya, her older sister, no less. She was an artist and was currently studying various cultural techniques for painting. Her prime focus was finger painting, which wasn’t taken too seriously among most, although her work, even compared the more exceptional brush work, was among the finest Prompto had ever seen and out of the 10 student pieces hanging in the university’s art gallery, 5 of them were hers.

Although they attended the same school, they had never met in person until Prompto’s first day of training as assistant manager.

It was a rather nice day. The sun was out, there were no clouds. Prompto had just nailed this super complicated photography project that he had been working on for over a month. A+. There was almost no foot traffic on his way to work and it wasn’t 9,000 degrees outside. Took him 30 minutes on the dot sparing him about 25 minutes to chill before his supervisor showed up. Added bonus: they were playing one of his favorite songs and he showed up just as it started. Prompto proceeded to lightly hum the tune to himself as he put on his apron.

"I know it sounds funny, but I just can’t stand the pain. And I’m leavin’ you tomorrow. Seems to me, girl, y’know I’ve done all I can. Y’see, I begged, stole, and I borrowed“.

The blonde lightly swayed to the music as it built up to the chorus.

”That’s why I’m easy“.

He suddenly stopped. A soft, delicate accented voice cut through his concentration like a knife.

What the-

He jolted his view upward to locate the source.

”I’m easy like Sunday mornin’“.

…And that was the first time he saw her. Standing behind the bar getting hot water from the filter to make her tea.

”That’s why I’m eeeeeaaaaasy“.

Her voice was rich and feathery like vanilla. Smooth and soothing.

”I’m easy like Sunday moooooorninnn“.

Prompto barely paid any attention to his supervisor for he was constantly distracted by Muerlin’s beauty. He watched her sway to the music, from behind the counter, as she busted tables.

Her silver hair just barely brushing against her shoulders. It was clearly rarely brushed, but was like silk. Her dainty ring coated fingers ran through it with ease as she looped her hair behind her left ear, that was riddled with earrings, exposing her small crystal gauge. Her bronze skin gleamed in the cafe’s horrible lighting. Her lips were always glossed with a light grey. And her eyes….pure teal. Like a lagoon in some mystical forest covered by her circular lens glasses. It was hard to believe she was real.

“Hey there, Sugar! ‘Bout time you got here!”, Cindy Aurum, another associate and one of Muerlin’s friend, greeted.

“Sorry, I know I’m late. Traffic was absolute shit today. Y'know how it is”.

“Well, now that yer here, we can start makin’ some real money”.

Muerlin giggled as she approached the counter. “What? Prom’s not enough for that anymore?”

The young man chuckled and scartched the back of his head. “C’mon, I only made 1,500 gil”.

“Yeah! This segment! I’m over here makin’ 200 at best!”

“Wow, Prom”, the girl leaned over the counter toward the blonde, “you must be brewing up something other than tea”.

His cheeks lightly flushed at her comment. She giggled at his expression.

“I’m just kidding”, she said hoping over the counter to head toward the back.

“Gods Almighty, girl! Are you wearing anything under that “cocktail dress” o’ yers?!“

Prompto raised an eyebrow at Cindy’s question.

Cocktail dress…?

Looking over, he noticed it wasn’t a cocktail dress rather than a slightly wrinkled long sleeve navy blue button up shirt, that was probably 3 sizes too big for her, with grey undertones rising from the bottom. The sleeves looked like they were just slightly rolled up to uncover her hands, but they covered just enough so her ring covered fingers would be exposed. The button of the shirt was unbuttoned.

"What? I’m wearing shorts! See?“

Muerlin lifted her shirt and showed Cindy her lace black shorts.

Muerlin wasn’t a fan of pants unless they consisted of shorts and leggings. She claimed that she needed to be able to “bust a move” at a moment’s notice if anyone ever asked why before proceeding to perform some random dance to demonstrate her point receiving nothing less than a hearty giggle from anyone who happened to witness it. If Prompto was lucky enough to be working when she had on shorts, he’d get a glimpse of the crystal stain glass lotus tattoo that took up 90% of her upper thigh. The blonde would become lightheaded at the sudden blood rush to his head…..and not the one on his shoulders.

Luckily, today was one of those days.

Unfortunately, when Muerlin lifted the unbuttoned bottom of her shirt, she briefly exposed her crystal belly button ring along with the stain glass mandala that circled it. Noticing a sudden tightness in his jeans, Prompto swiftly averted his attention to her apron under the counter and crouched down proceeding to grab it.

“Don’t you think that shirt’s a liiiiittle too big for you?”

Prompto tried really hard to seem normal, and it worked.

“Too big? Shoot, I think she looks mighty purdy. ‘Cept one thing…”

Muerlin raised her eyebrow to her button nosed blonde friend.

“I know!”

Cindy shouted before she unbuttoned the first 3 buttons of Muerlin’s shirt slightly revealing her cleavage. Prompto lightly bit his lip as he witnessed the interaction.

“There! That’s much better. You looked like you were near ‘bout to choke to death. Ain’t no needa hide that bouncy bosom o’ yers. Gotta let the girls breathe!”

“Like you?, Muerlin chuckled at her friend.

“Precisely. Ain’t no shame in flauntin’ the goods, y’know? Why, ya prolly even got a young tiger like Prompto here ready to pounce”.

Like you wouldn’t believe.

Muerlin turned her gaze toward the tall blonde, he immediately shifted his gaze to meet hers, removed from his trance. Cindy giggles.

“Huh??”

Muerlin chuckled lightly. “No, he’s definitely looking at you”. She grabbed her apron from him before heading toward the back. “I’m gonna make some more samples!” The silver haired girl shouted from the back room in her usual cheerful tone.

“Okay, sugar!”

“Rather crude…don’t you think?”

A light chill rushed up Prompto’s spin as he turned around to see Loqi Tummelt, one of his other associates let alone his least favorite, lightly glaring at him.

“What?”

“Is that how you “woo” all your women, Argentum?

“Ugh”, Cindy grimaced at Loqi’s comment, “what’re you yappin’ ‘bout now?”

Hearing the commotion, Muerlin silently approaches behind her friend and her boss. Loqi, noticing Muerlin, smiles at her presence before hopping over the counter.

“Anyone who cannot appreciate beauty beyond the skin doesn’t deserve it”, he complimented Muerlin while insulting the plebe.

“And anyone whom is a creep shall be stoned”, Prompto mocked Loqi in a dramatic Shakespearean tone receiving a hearty laugh from Cindy.

Muerlin stifled a laugh by clearing her throat.

“Now, Prom”, Muerlin placed her hands onto her hips and smirked at the tall freckled blonde, “don’t be mean. We’re all family here, right?”

She smiled wide looking point blank at Cindy.

“That’s right!”, Cindy responded wholeheartedly.

“Right! So guys, do me a favor?”, the girl slowly backed up toward the samples she was making in the back room. She snapped her fingers and pointed at the two blonde men. “Don’t kill each other”. She winked at them with a click of her tongue before finally turning and skipping out of sight.

Cindy chuckled at her friend’s suggestion. “Don’t count yer chocobos just yet”, she joked. “And on that note”, Cindy stretched her arms and back, “my work here today is done”. Prompto looked toward the clock. 2:15pm.

Jeez, that’s it?

It had only been 5 hours since they opened and Prompto had been there since 8:30am. It felt like it should’ve been at least 5 and he was going to be there until 10. Uggghhhh…

Cindy removed her apron tossing it under the counter before grabbing her bag. “Ya’ll play nice now or lil’ Muerlin in there will tan yer hide, y’hear?”

Prompto chuckled nervously, “yeah, wouldn’t want that, would we?”

Loqi chuckled at Prompto’s nervous response. “I don’t think I could ever upset the fair Muerlin”.

“Suuuure”, Cindy rolled her eyes at Loqi’s reponse. “Well, bye now!” she waved at the boys as she strolled past the tables and out the door.

“Don’t be a stranger, y’hear?”, Prompto playfully imitated her voice receiving a hearty giggle from the girl.

“Oh, shut it, you!”, Cindy replied with a smile before the door shut behind her. Prompto smiled lightly as Cindy disappeared from sight.

“It’s rude to stare, Argentum”.

Prompto’s smile faded as his tranquil manner was interrupted by his associate. His slimy voice genuinely gave Prompto a headache. He wasn’t really one to hate anybody, but he REALLY couldn’t stand Loqi. He always felt a need to get under Prompto’s skin on anything and everything he possibly could which to anyone else, it would seem rather stupid to intentionally piss off the boss, but Prompto was pretty sure he couldn’t fire someone just for being annoying. Still…

He had a remarkably punchable face.

“Loqi, do you really have room to talk?”

“What?”, the irritating blond retorted in offense.

“I mean, you stare at Muerlin just as much as any other guy that comes in here. And, for some reason, you think she likes the creepy poetry”.

“Hmph…because you’re a real class act yourself, Argentum”, Loqi chuckled sarcastically.

“Hey, never said that I was. Actually I know I’m not…I’m just sayin’ that you don’t need to try so hard just to tell her she’s pretty”.

Loqi paused for a moment before lightly chuckling at his superior. “Green is not a good color on you, Argentum”. He turned toward the bar to start making his tea.

A confused Prompto forwarded his brow at his associate. "What?“

"I’d stick to black…it’s more slenderizing anyway”.

Did this smug motherfucker just imply that he was jealous??? Of him?! Prompto scoffed.

Please.

His eyes shifted to Muerlin as she emerged from the back room with four pitchers in hand. She playfully stuck her tongue at the blonde and crossed her eyes as she walked by emitting a chuckle from his lips.

She was so silly…and adorable…and…his.

He couldn’t help, but stare at those bronze thighs as she strutted by a group of frat guys sitting at a table. Much to Prompto’s dismay, they were admiring them just as much as he was….maybe a little too much….DEFINITELY too much.

And Muerlin was far too nice to tell them to fuck off.

The way they perused her body, undressing her with wandering, lustful eyes. Like they wanted to just tear her out of her clothes and rail her on the table themselves. I mean….he wanted the same, but that’s all they wanted. They didn’t know her like he did and they didn’t care. They wanted her for nothing more than their beds.

How dare they?

She deserved more than that. She WAS more than that. She deserved someone who truly cared about her….maybe even loved her.

But he could never be that….because she would never want him…and he was her boss.

“Muerlin, my dear”.

Prompto’s eyes darted to the side as Loqi approached Muerlin offering to take one of the pitchers from her hands, she smiling lightly and complied. Prompto scoffed before rolling his eyes, refusing to make eye contact with the young lady gazing upon him from a distance.

“I’m going on break”, the beautiful blonde huffed pulling his apron over his head and retreating to the back room. His usual glow had dimmed.

Muerlin watched him, worry in her eyes, completely ignoring the babbling boy standing beside her.

“Muerlin. Muerlin, did you hear me?”

“Huh?”, she snapped out of it realizing she was still holding the pitchers. “Oh! Yeah, sorry. Thanks, Loqi. Um…I’ll be right back, yeah?” She handed him the pitchers with a light smile before skipping toward the back room.

Peeking around the corner, she noticed her statuesque God of sculpted white chocolate thunder sitting on a wooden crate, his leg crossed over his knee, playing King’s Knight. Though he didn’t look like he was really enjoying himself rather than he was just using his favorite game in attempt to occupy his thoughts.

Look at him.

His arms looked so strong propped up against his leg. His sleeves barely able to hide his toned biceps. Like he could easily pin a body against the wall…or throw someone on a bed. He was always so cheerful, but the way he stared at his phone. Those forwarded blonde brows, that intense focus…it made her legs quiver.

She remembers the first day she saw him about 4 months ago when she first started the job.

It was so early.

Like waaaay too fucking early.

All her classes were in the afternoon so she wasn’t used to being up at 8am. Muerlin had never met the assistant manager before and at that time, she didn’t really care who they were.

When she walked in, the place was nearly vacant and her boss was currently no where in sight. So she took it upon herself to make a hot black and chai tea to wake her up. She silently slipped to the back room to brew her tea. Noticing the music was off, she switched on the radio and light music flowed through the speaker. Unknowingly alerting her confused boss. He wasn’t expecting anyone for another half hour.

She finally finished brewing her tea. The sweet aroma of hot cinnamon and coconut filled her nostrils. Holding it with both hands to warm her fingers, she shut her eyes as she absorbed the scent filling her tired face.

Turning the corner to return to the counter, she was abruptly halted by a solid figure, startling her enough to fully wake her.

“Agh..!!” the figure hissed slightly.

She opened her eyes to see the tall blonde Prompto standing before her.

Wow….he was really cute.

She blushed lightly at the boy’s light freckled face, his eyes were SOOOOO BLUE. A deep blue like the oceans at night. His hair made….no sense…like a Picasso painting.

Magnificent.

What was wrong with him though? He looked like he was in some sort of pain? His gaze was lowered to his chest, face winced. She lowered her gaze to the giant stain on his red t-shirt.

Her cup was 98% empty and the half that wasn’t splattered across the floor was on HER BOSS’ CHEST.

“Oh, Gods! I’m so sorry!”

Muerlin panicked setting her cup on the bar and lightly flailed with her other hand emitting a light giggle from the blonde.

“No, it’s fine. I didn’t mean to startle you. I wasn’t expecting you until later”.

His eyes twinkled lightly as his gaze softened. He was sincerely sorry, yet HE was the one covered in hot tea.

“What was that? Let me make you another one”, he kindly offered.

“Don’t you worry about that. Come on. I’ve got an extra shirt in my bag”.

She hurried toward the rack in the far back of the room to retrieve her backpack, quietly cursing herself the whole way.

“Muerlin, you bloody idiot. What a brilliant first impression. Fuck me!”

The blonde stifled a chuckle as he listened to her lightly accented swearing as she shuffled through her bag to find the shirt.

“I like to wear rather large shirts for me so I should have something in here that would fit you”, she explained as the man approached.

“There we are!”

She pulled out a short sleeved black v-neck. A rather deep V at that, and turned to hand it to the young man.

She felt her heart hammer against her breast. Her breathing shortened, her skin flushed at the sight of her blonde boss. He had just finished removing his shirt exposing his lean muscular build.

His broad shoulders dusted with light freckles, his solid pectorals and stomach. She squeezed her legs together as hope of getting some relief from her rising heat, before realizing she had been staring for way too long and reverted her gaze to his own. The way he looked at her….he had been staring for quite some time, but not at her body. Not at her exposed cleavage, her legs…but her eyes. He was looking at her.

And she was looking at him…..

For way too long.

She cleared her throat. “Here ya go”. The girl shoved the shirt against the man’s chest. The impact brought him back from his trance.

“Oh, thank you”. He gently took the shirt. “Um…when do you need it back?”

“Keep it”, the girl quickly replied. “Huh? R-really?” The boy seemed confused.

“Yeah, and to make it up to you, I’ll wash this one”. Muerlin replied with a smile. “That way it’ll smell like lavender and vanilla”.

Prompto blushed lightly at her comment….lavender and vanilla. Like her.

“Well, are ya gonna try it on?”

He nodded. “Oh. Yeah”. He stuttered before pulling the shirt over his head. It fit him perfectly. A little too perfectly. Muerlin bit her lip lightly as she watched him straighten himself out.

The blonde giggled. “How do I look?” He asked the girl with his usual goofy grin.

Fuckin’ delicious.

She dramatically fanned herself. “Why, Mr. Argentum, I do declare”, she replied imitating a southern belle.

He chuckled at her comment before joining in on the act. “Now, lil’ lady”, he clutched onto his belt, “what’ll ya have?”

“Chai and black…shaken, not stirred”.

“Gotcha. One ‘Prompto Special’”, comin’ right up”. He snapped his fingers pointing at her and clicked his tongue to his gesture before spinning around to remake her tea.

Her cheeks stung from how much she was smiling. He was so sweet and fun…like a chocobo. She had heard of him at school from the photography students, as well as seeing his pictures in the photo gallery. He was talented. She always assumed it was so easy to take a picture…but to do it well. That was a skill.

A moment later, he returned with her drink handing it to her with a dramatic bow. “Malady”.

Muerlin giggled as she retrieved her drink from the boy. “Why thank you, good sir”. She took a sip as he watched waiting for her response.

“Mmmmm…”, she sighed as she lifted her smile from her cup, “that’s so good…much better than I usually make it. Well done, sir”.

“Prompto”.

She raised an eyebrow to him.

“Just….Prompto”.

She lightly blushed, illuminating the light freckles upon her nose.

“Muerlin…..just Muerlin”.

“Nice to meet you…Muerlin”.

4 months later.

After seeing him almost every day, spending hours upon hours with him and she still hasn’t told him what she felt. She couldn’t put her finger on it, but there was something about the blonde plebe….it gave her a fuzziness in her stomach, a warmth in her heart…and between her legs.

Ugh…he was her boss, but…why did it feel so…right? Why was it becoming more and more difficult to resist him?

A light chuckle erupted from Prompto’s throat.

“Hashtag: Paw Paw takin’ a nap nap, LOL”, Prompto lightheartedly imitate Cindy’s southern twang.

Most importantly….what made her think she possibly stood a chance against her cute button nosed friend?

They had so much more in common…not like a lowly punk from Tenebrae. Hell…it was clearly super easy for Cindy to bring him out of his funk from earlier. She couldn’t possibly have done that.

Besides…he was her boss.

He was Cindy’s too, but she could easily quit here and make a living in Hammerhead. This was all Muerlin had…so she’d never get the chance.

Warm tears emitted from her eyes as she came to her realization. Her light sobs alerted the blonde of her presence completely shifting his attention.

“Muerlin?”

Shit. He can’t see me like this.

She quickly fixed herself up before turning the corner toward him.

“Yeah?”

“Are you okay?”, he stood taking a step toward her.

“Who me? Oh, yeah yeah. Of course”, she replied, obviously trying really hard to keep her cool despite her unknowingly stepping away from him.

He frowned slightly at the action. Was she….trying to run from him?

“…are you sure?”, he asked taking a couple more steps and gently reaching out to her.

“Y..yeah, absolutely”, she turned away from him shuffling further away, “I just….wondering if I could take my break now…grab a bite before, y'know…evening rush?”

“Uh..yeah, sure. I could make you something if you want”, the blonde offered in hopes she would accept.

“No, no…it’s alright”, she smiled sweetly, an obvious void in her eyes.

“…I don’t want to interrupt”, she added in a sigh before grabbing her backpack and exiting the shop.

Interrupt…interrupt what?

Prompto’s eyes filled with worry as he watched her hastily race past the pane windows on the side of the cafe. Agony in her face. Did he do something…?

“Oh, dear”.

Prompto glanced over at Loqi who was looking rather satisfied with the situation.

“What?”, Prompto softly barked at his associate, growing increasingly annoyed.

The bratty boy chuckled at his boss. “You tell me”.

“Tell you what? I didn’t do anything”.

“Oh, of course. Clearly”, he gestured in the direction Muerlin departed to, “nothing”.

Prompto was so close to knocking this douche out on his ass, but refrained at the last second after looking toward the clock. 4pm.

“LADIES AND GENTS, HAPPY HOUR OFFICIALLY STARTS NOW!!! ALL TEA BLENDS WITH THREE OR MORE FLAVORS WILL BE FREE UNTIL 5!!! ENJOY!!!”

Everyone’s hands raised as customers began calling Loqi to their tables to take their orders. Loqi reverted his wide eyed gaze back to his boss who was retreating back to his original post.

“See ya in an hour”, the charming plebe chuckled with a snarky grin and a two finger salute.

The overwhelming panic that Prompto heard in Loqi’s voice was more than enough to bring a smile to his face. He wasn’t sure who was gonna make it out of this stampede, but one thing was for sure, he was certainly going to enjoy the rest of his break.

5'o clock rolls around.

*door chime*

Muerlin raises her eyebrow at a disoriented Loqi who’s draped over the counter, completely exhausted.

“What in the world happened to you?”

Noticing it’s her, he quickly stands and attempts situate himself. “No matter, my dear. Just a small rush”.

Muerlin looks up at the clock and analyzes the overall calmness of the cafe.

“Isn’t it happy hour now? This place is usually packed at this time”.

“Happy hour was a tad early tonight”, the begrimed young man replied in irritated. She stifled a chuckle. Damn. Prompto certainly wasn’t having his shit today.

“Muerlin”.

She shifted her gaze to her boss as he exited the back room, retying his apron. He looked rather pleased to see her behind his worry. Although she was just as happy to see him, she was still feel slightly melancholy from before. He noticed this by the fact that she refused to make eye contact with him.

Loqi, noticing the tension between them, takes the opportunity to add fuel to the fire.

“Muerlin, my darling, how about I make you a tea?”

Prompto’s eyebrows forwarded at the associate.

“Sure, Loqi. I’d like that”, she replied with a smile.

“Splendid, how would you like it?”, he asked as he dusted himself off, retreating to the bar. She opened her mouth to answer.

“A chai and black?”, he asked taking the words out of her mouth.

She gave him a look of approval. “Well, someone’s been paying attention”.

“I make it my business to”.

“Well, bravo, sir”, Muerlin lightly applauded him, exaggerating her accent.

“I aim to please”, he smugly glared at Prompto as he pleasantly addressed the girl before retreating to the bar. Prompto watched him as he walked beside him. He was sooooo ready to kick this guy’s ass. He clenched his fist at the associate’s remark about to give in to temptation before….

“Prompto?”

He quickly reverted his gaze back to the girl standing before him, in all her glory. Hearing her speak to him finally was put his anxious mind at ease.

“You okay?”

The worry in her eyes melted his heart. Gods, he wanted to kiss her so bad….and tear her out of that shirt and give her a real happy ending. What the fuck did she see in Loqi? Seriously?! The guy was a fucking tool. Pretty sure he had never even kissed a girl too. Why did he have to be her boss? Why couldn’t he have a car to come see her? Why did Loqi have to fucking exist?

“Fuck me….”, he accidentally whispered out loud.

“Huh?”

His face lit up, bright as a tomato, after he realized his thoughts were coming out of his mouth.

“Uh, nothing. Yeah, all good here”.

He chuckled lightly scratching the back of his head. She knew he was lying. He looked goofier than usual when he was trying to hide something from her and she definitely wasn’t having it.

“Liar”, she retorted. Hands on her hips as she stepped closer to the flustered man.

No. Nonono. What was she doing?

“What’re you trying to hide?”

She stepped closer. He backed up a bit. Her exposed cleavage glistened in the light behind the counter. She looked angry. Gods, she was sexy when she was mad… Prompto had always imagined her punching someone in the face. The thought caused a slight tremor in his jeans.

As he stepped back, Muerlin took another step closer hoping he would give in and tell her what was wrong. She didn’t like when he was upset. It sent her into protective mode…and protective Muerlin didn’t play nice when it came to the happiness of her chocobo.

“N-nothing”, the man stuttered. His voice rasped. She took this as him trying extra hard to keep this from her which fueled her irritation, when in reality he was severely fighting the urge to throw her onto the counter and take her in front of everyone here and she wasn’t making it easy for him in any way. A moment longer and he wouldn’t be able to resist. He was about to fuck the shit out of her in front of the Astrals and everyone.

“Why’re you running from me…?”

She stopped, a light sob choked her words.

He felt his heart shatter at her hurt tone. It was too much. He couldn’t take this anymore. No more waiting. He firmly planted himself in front of her, her eyes widened at the proximity of their bodies.

What….was he mad now?

Her breasts flushed from the heat of his torso. Prompto took a deep breath before he spoke.

“Muerlin, I-”.

“Your tea, malady”, Loqi sprang from nowhere with Muerlin’s beverage startling the two.

“Oh…thanks, Loqi”.

Muerlin smiled as she took her drink.

Unbeknownst to her, a visionally furious Prompto barely rose his fist as he glared at Loqi who only responded with a smug grin.

Self-righteous son of a bitch.

He knew what he was doing. How he was torturing Prompto and he was enjoying it way too much.

“Everything alright, MR. Argentum?” Loqi asked reminding Prompto that he was their boss.

Muerlin shifted her gaze toward the tall blonde. Prompto forced down the flame in his chest, lowering his fist.

“Yeah”, he replied in a defeated tone before retreating into the back exiting out the side door shutting it behind him.

“Prompto?”

Muerlin began to race after him before being gently held back by Loqi.

“Let him go, my dear. Give him some time. He’ll come around”.

“S…sure..yeah. You’re right”.

Muerlin collected herself as best she could as she and Loqi finished out the next few hours of Loqi’s shift while Prompto sat with his back against the door stewing in his agony. He was in love with Muerlin….and he would never have her.

Around 8pm.

Three hours have gone by…and no sign of Prompto.

Every minute felt like an eternity as she sure grew more and more worried about him as another went by. As traffic started to die so did her patience. Her overall cheerful glow dimmed the more she panicked.

Loqi, noticing her frustration from afar, approached the woman behind the counter. Gingerly placing his hand upon hers to cease her trembling.

“My dear…why don’t you leave early with me tonight? It would seem Mr. Argentum is more than occupied with his own grievances”.

This piece of shit…

Muerlin sincerely hoped that she didn’t legitimately roll her eyes at him despite how much she wanted to. She couldn’t just leave him. She wouldn’t.

“No…no, I think I should stay. Someone has to keep an eye on him. Just in case”.

Loqi sighed in slight irritation…and it was fairly obvious to Muerlin. She knew he didn’t like Prompto. He never did, but she didn’t care. It didn’t matter. None of it did.

All that mattered was Prompto.

“Alright…well, I’ll leave you to it then”, Loqi sighed in disappointment as he began to depart for the night. “But, my dear….remember if you need me, please do not hesitate to call”.

Muerlin smiled sweetly at him while he left, rolling her eyes when he disappeared from sight.

Not even a minute passed before Muerlin heard the back door slam shut, slightly startling her.

“Prompto?”

“Y…yeah?”

She strolled toward the backroom to greet her chocobo, her eyes filled with worry. She looked like she had been through hell these past few hours. He felt a wave of guilt for leaving her alone with that heathen. He gave her an apologetic smile, his beautiful eyes shimmered.

“Uh…why don’t we start cleaning up? You’re here until 9, right?”

“Oh! Yeah…better hop to it”, she giggled. Her cheerful glow returned to that beautiful bronze face as she hoped back toward the front counter. “Well? Ya think I’m gonna clean this whole place up by myself?”

The blonde chuckled at the silver haired girls remark, scratching the back of his head.

“Can’t blame a guy for tryin’”.

“Fuck you”, Muerlin giggled.

She had her Prompto back.

8:45.

The two listened to music together and sang. Muerlin busted the tables, swaying to the music…just like the first day he saw her. She was still just as beautiful and radiant as she was back then. He marveled at the woman he loved…his smile faded. Knowing that she wasn’t his…he couldn’t watch her be for anyone else. It would kill him…more than it already was.

Maybe…it was time for him to accept it. Maybe…moving on campus was what was best…not just for him.

But for her.

Still…he couldn’t just leave her without a goodbye. He wouldn’t be able to live with himself if he hurt her like that.

“Hey…so…um…I’m thinking of moving to that tea shop on campus”.

Muerlin immediately turned toward the man behind the counter, a slight stunned by his statement.

Was he serious? He couldn’t be….right?

“Y…you’re leaving?”

Muerlin set her rag down on a table, approaching the counter. The closer she got, the more and more real it seemed…yet the more she wished it wasn’t.

“You’re not serious…right?” He couldn’t have been. “Why…?” Her eyes started to fill with tears. “Was it something I said?”

She races behind the counter toward her chocobo. “Something I did? Anything?”

Prompto lightly clutched onto her upper arms to ease her panic as she rushes him.

“No, no, no….it’s…you didn’t do anything wrong”. He reassured the girl.

She looked so soft and vulnerable…like she just needed a warm hug. He wanted to kiss her so badly….to bury his face into her neck. To wrap his arms around her delicate body and…give her something nobody else could. Let alone Loqi.

“…it’s for…y”, he sighed stopping himself. “…the best. I don’t want to burden you any longer…”. He lightly pulled away heading toward the back.

Burden? What?….No, no…not on her watch.

Muerlin bolted toward the back room, to her beloved chocobo. She wasn’t losing him. Not like this. She stormed after him, yanking him to face her before planting a solid, passionate kiss upon his lips.

It was like ecstasy. Heaven.

His eyes fixated on her the whole time. He was paralyzed from her action. His mind raced with lustful thoughts.

After a moment, she abruptly pulled away in panic.

“Oh, my Gods….I am…so sorry. I-I don’t know wh….I”, she stammered staring into her paralyzed boss’ face. He looked enraged…his blue eyes turned black under the shadow of his golden locks. “I….I’ll start cleaning, sir..”, she stuttered beginning to run toward the front of the cafe.

She gasped at the sudden latch on her arm. “Yoink!” Prompto yanked her back to her original position, holding her tightly against his chest.

“Just Prompto”, he growled before he crashed his lips against hers, shoving his tongue into her mouth, clutching onto her round ass pulling her as close to him as he possibly could.

Finally giving into his advances, Muerlin wraps her arms around Prompto’s neck pressing her body against his in the heat of their kiss. Their tongues danced together as Prompto lifts the girl’s bare thigh holding it tightly against his hip as he grinds his hardened cock against her core, her heat increasing every second of their embrace. She released a soft moan at his touch before he pulls away to nuzzle her smooth skin as he ground her heated core against him rather roughly.

“I’ve wanted this for so long”, the man finally admitted in a breath against her neck. “I’ve waited so long to have you”. He ran her fingers through her silver locks taking in the scent of lilies and lavender…her scent was intoxicating.

His excitement grew more and more at every grind. Her core was hot. His motions stemming from unfathomable desire made her blood boil.

She pulled away from him, emitting a pained glare from the man, before she unbuttoned her shirt letting it fall to the floor. He stared intensely at her perfectly round breasts as they glistened in the light.

“Fuck…”, Prompto exclaimed in a slurred pant.

“Are these what you want…? I’ve seen you stare…”.

Her skin was flushed. He shifted his gaze to those big teal eyes. They were like a kitten’s. So soft and innocent, but harboring danger underneath their crystal clean surface.

“No”, the man approached her slamming his lips against hers once again, “I want you”, he replied between their kisses.

He cupped her soft cheeks into his hands intensifying their kiss. Muerlin broke their kiss for a moment, removing her lace bra for the hungry young man. To which he returned the favor by removing his shirt tossing it on the floor behind him. They paused for moment, taking their time to gaze upon the other’s features before they re-initiated the kiss.

Prompto had Muerlin’s back plastered against the wall and lifted her leg again, grinding his solid cock against her heat as he caresses her thigh. He slowly began to kiss down her neck, nipping at her flesh leaving large bruises. She shrieked at the pain, it filling her body with pleasure. She shivered as his tongue delicately grazed over her wounds before he lowered himself to her chest, abruptly clutching her breasts into his hands. She inhaled sharply as his sweaty palms squeezed her flesh. He bit his lip and glanced at the woman before, without warning, engulfing her nipple into his mouth.

Nibbling and sucking, lapping over the sensitive bud with his wet tongue while he plucked and played with the other with his callused fingers. She whined at his actions, her back arched.

“You like that, baby…?”, the man growled against her flesh.

“Yes”. She keened at the man’s teasing, running her fingers through his silky blonde hair. She couldn’t take all this waiting any longer. She needed him….now.

“Fuck me”, she begged in a pant. Prompto released her nipple as he rose back to his original stance, towering above the woman in front of him.

“Say it again”, he growled. She yanked him against her body by the front of his pants.

“Fuck me, Prompto Argentum”.

He abruptly turned her around so her chest was against the wall, yanking her shorts and panties down before giving her ass a firm slap. She inhaled sharply at the impact. He unbuckled his belt, sliding his pants and boxers down slightly to free his throbbing cock, lightly stroking it as he examined Muerlin’s body. He marveled at the galaxy tattoo that coated her back. Pressing his body against hers, his cock rubbing against her rear.

“You’re so fucking beautiful…”, the boy hissed against her shoulder placing a light kiss upon her trembling flesh. Her body was so warm…so delicate…

He flipped her back over shamming her back against the wall before lifting her, wrapping her legs around him. She inhales sharply at her sudden elevation.

“Prom…”, she releases in a sigh.

“I’ve got you, baby…”, he whispers to his love staring wistfully into her eyes, “I promise”.

As she returns his gaze, Prompto abruptly shoved his solid cock in her heated core. Muerlin released a startled moan at the sudden penetration. Prompto softly exhales as he embraced the warmth of her inner walls as he slowly thrusts against her. His lips ghosting over hers, absorbing her hot breath as she panted and moaned.

“Gods, you’re so tight”, he whispered against her lips quickening his pace, “you feel so good around me, baby”.

As he begins to pound her against the wall, the sound of colliding flesh echoes through the cafe, along with Muerlin’s screams.

“You like feelin’ my cock inside you?”

“Yes”, she loudly panted against his lips.

“You gonna cum for me, baby?”

“Gods, yes!”, she clutched onto his face, desperately staring into his eyes.

“Do you want me to cum inside you?”

“YES, IT’S STILL OPEN!”

The door chimed as Cindy strolled in. Muerlin let go of Prompto’s face clasping her hands onto her mouth as Prompto quickly, but gently lowered her to her feet, pulling himself out.

“Hello? Prompto? Y’hear?”

As Prompto checked the time on his phone, he noticed it was 9:15.

“Shit!”, he loudly whispered to himself before turning his attention to the naked woman in front of him. “You didn’t lock the door?”, he whispered.

Muerlin shrugged and made a face. “You distracted me”, she gave him a cute whoops face.

Gods, she was so cute. Prompto chuckled at her lightly and shook his head.

“Yoohoo, Mr. Argentuuuum?”

Remembering Cindy was there, Prompto handed Muerlin her button up shirt and apron. Neglecting to put on her bra, panties and shorts for, she quickly slipped them on and fixed her hair before slipping out behind the counter, conveniently perfectly hidden from her button nosed friend.

“Heeeeeeyyyy!”

“Well, howdy there, Shug”, a surprised Cindy greeted, “didn’t expect to see you here so late. Where’s Prompto?”

“Oh, just takin’ a little break”.

“Mmhm, slackin’”, Cindy joked with a giggle.

“What’re you doing here so late? Thought you left hours ago”.

“I did, but wouldn’t ya'know it? Left my lucky hat under the counter. My hair was fluffin’ up like a chocobo butt. Shoot, I ‘bout looked like Prompto”.

The girls giggled as Muerlin retrieved her hat. Prompto still in the back, peeking around the corner, a clear view of Muerlin’s ass and slit as she leaned against the counter with her legs slightly apart, obviously trying to hide the fact she was mostly naked. He stroked his cock biting his lip. She looks so fucking delicious…and he wanted a taste. The thought tortured him. He craved her…and she was so close. But Cindy….she was right there.

Fuck it…he needed this.

As the girls continued their conversation, Prompto slowly crawled behind the counter, toward Muerlin. As long as Cindy wasn’t leaning over the counter, he wouldn’t be spotted. As he inched his way over to his lover, Muerlin’s thighs tensed slightly once she noticed him in her periphery.

What…is…he….DOING?!

Despite her growing panic, she remained visually calm to her friend. Prompto crawled underneath Muerlin, settling himself between her legs, his face barely an inch away from her core.

Astrals above…it was like a dream…so unreal how beautiful…it begged for his tongue. He needed to taste.

He lightly kissed her folds, sending a light shiver up the woman’s spine, before separating them with his fingers. Muerlin tensed slightly in anticipation for what he was going to do next. Prompto slid his tongue within her swirling it around her ridged walls. Muerlin cleared her throat to cover up the hum that slid from it.

“You alright, Shug?” Cindy asked slightly concerned with the strange sound that her friend just made.

“Yeah, yeah. Loqi just made me a…tea earlier and I think he fucked it up”.

She was trying SO HARD to not look like she was trying SO HARD to be normal as Prompto continued shoving his tongue in and out of her heat. She couldn’t really move nor could she be completely still. Her mind was racing. She began to see stars. It became more and more difficult to hold this conversation with her oblivious friend.

Prompto rose his wandering tongue to her clit sending a shock throughout her body. She jolted upward a bit, slamming her palm on the counter, quickly turning her attention to the window panes.

“OHMYGODS! Look at that puppy!!!”, Muerlin said in a loud growl. Cindy averted her attention to the window. Conveniently, there WAS a dog outside.

“AWW, would ya look at that???”, Cindy cooed at the dog, temporarily distracted. As she turned away for a moment, Muerlin’s eyes crossed slightly as she sank onto the counter.

Prompto’s tongue viciously flicking against her clit, stroking his cock the entire time. Prompto let go of himself to slide two fingers in the woman’s core. She slapped her palm against her mouth as he grazed her g-spot.

Fuck, he found it….

Prompto grinned releasing a quiet mischievous chuckle against her as he continued to flick her clit and began to pump his fingers in and out of her dripping core, grinding his fingers against her walls.

“What a cutie-pie”, Cindy stated toward the dog before returning to her should be Oscar Awarded friend who immediately straightened herself the moment Cindy pivoted to catch her gaze.

“I knooooow, right?” Prompto increased his speed and continued to lavish at Muerlin’s now sore clit, he felt her walls tighten against his fingers. She was nearing the edge, but she was fighting off the will to give in while Cindy was standing right there.

“Y'wanna know something?“

“What’s that?“

“I think young Prompto there likes you”.

Muerlin chuckled lightly, but nervously. “Ya don’t say…"

“Ain’t it obvious? Well…maybe not to you, but I think there’s a lot that’s hiding under the surface of that innocent puppy face”.

“You have no idea”, Muerlin whispered in a breath, her body so close to caving in.

Cindy giggled. "I can’t believe you didn’t snap a pic when you saw him without his shirt on. Bet that was a real eye-popper”.

Muerlin chuckled begging to the Gods to make Cindy leave. She couldn’t take this anymore. She NEEDED to cum.

“Well, I better skedaddle before Paw Paw busts a gasket. Call ya later, ‘kay?”, she waved to her friend as she turned toward the door.

“Sure! Later!“

The door chimed as Cindy exited.

Once she disappears from sight, Muerlin finally releases a loud, built up moan as she cums on her lover’s fingers. He slows his pace easing her from her release as she starts to fall to the floor. He quickly stands scooping her up in his arms chuckling to himself as he carries her to the back.

"Damn…you held out pretty well, little girl”.

“Fuck you”, she panted.

He laughed at her exhausted retort before sitting her in the back room chair. She lifted her head, glaring at him as he examined his fingers, covered in her essence before he places them in front of her lips. She takes them in her mouth licking them clean.

“That’s a good girl…”, Prompto cooed at her.

He pulls his fingers from her mouth placing a kiss on the top of her head before the cafe phone starts to ring. He checks the time on his phone. 9:35.

“Probably Six”.

Prompto’s supervisor, Six, always called for daily analysis. She was like everyone’s mom, but not as strict and didn’t get mad if you swore. Plus, she’d always bring some sort of sweet for everyone working that day whenever she’d show up.

“Take a break…I’ll be right back”.

He retreated toward the phone, answering.

“Yyyyyellow”.

Muerlin giggled at her chocobo.

“Hey, Six”, she spoke for a bit as he grabbed the daily report sheet. “Yeah, we had a good day today”.

“What?”

“Yeah, Loqi was a pain in the ass today, but he handled Happy Hour so….”

Prompto chuckled, “Yeah, we can’t fire him now”.

“Muerlin?”

He gazed up toward his lover whom was staring at him wistfully. “Yeah…she did great today…turned a bunch of heads”, he chuckled. His eyes widened at Six’s response, his freckled cheeks illuminated as his skin flushed. He scratched his head and chuckled. “Yeah…even mine…”.

Aww, he was embarrassed. Poor thing. He looked so vulnerable and sweet….just like she did at the counter with Cindy.

Muerlin’s head lowered slightly, regaining her stamina from her little break, shooting a sensual glare at the blonde. She sunk from her chair onto all fours and began crawling toward him.

Oh, no…what’s she doing?

Despite his nervousy, he bit his lip in anticipation remembering his cock was still out and rock hard.

“Uh…y-yeah..I’m here. Sorry…was…uh..little distracted”.

Muerlin giggled seductively once she finally reached him, taking his cock into her hand.

Prompto gasped at her touch, staring at the silver haired woman, his eyes full of lust.

“You alright, sweetie?”, Muerlin heard Six through the phone.

She raised an eyebrow at him, slightly teasing him.

“Yeah..yeah, I just had a random chill”, he leaned against the wall clutching onto the edge of the bar as Muerlin gently circling her thumb against his tip, dampening her fingers with his pre-cum.

His shut his eyes, his breathing heavied slightly, as Six continued asking him about how the day went. She slowly started stroking his shaft. Prompto pulled the phone away putting it on speaker to avoid potential suspicion from Six.

He gazed at his beloved Muerlin, the lust in her eyes piercing into him like lasers. It was driving him mad.

“So…I noticed you and Muerlin are quite the team, huh? Everybody’s favorite. Barely getting any customers for Cindy and Loqi”.

“Yeah…it’s all her…she’s…fuckin’ perfect”, he softly replied beginning to calm down from her delicate touch.

Ooooh, no. We’re not having that.

She wanted to drive him to his knees, like he did to her. He was going to pay.

Without any warning, Muerlin engulfed Prompto’s cock into her mouth emitting a loud grunt from his throat, startling Six.

“Prompto?! What happened?”

“Nothing! Nothing…I fell”, Prompto quickly reponsed with a nervous chuckled.

“Are you alright? Did you hurt yourself?”, Six’s voice full of concern.

“No, no, no…I’m good. Aaaall good”, Muerlin softly giggled as she bobbed her head up and down against his impressive size, the vibrations against his shaft drove him insane. His vision blurred as he started seeing stars. He stifled a moan as her tongue trailed over his flesh.

“Well, okay. Be more careful, ya goof! Anyway, I was thinking…”.

Muerlin quickened her pace, the blonde gripped onto the bar tighter.

“Yeah?”, Prompto trying with all his might to keep his normal tone.

“I know she hasn’t been here for very long, but what would you think of giving Muerlin a promotion?”

“Aw, yeah”, Prompto growled staring at his lover.

“You two would get more time together and she’d be able to close with you more often”.

“Fuck yeah!”, he held onto the back of Muerlin’s head gripping onto her silver locks as she pleasured her chocobo desperately trying to make him cum.

Six giggled at his seemingly enthusiastic response,“I figured you’d like that. You think she’ll be just as happy?”

“It’ll give her a mouthful of happiness”.

“Ugh, Prompto…seriously. You can’t tell me you don’t know how that sounds?”

Prompto brushed Muerlin’s hair from her face and chuckled mischieviously. “That’s the point”. Muerlin looked up to her lover feeling him trying to hold back from him climax.

Fuck, he was way too good at this…

Six giggled, thankfully completely oblivious to Prompto’s seriousness. “You precious little dork. Hurry up and get out of there and get some sleep”.

“Gotcha”, he growled, trying desperately to ignore the knot in his stomach urging him to climax.

“Goodnight, sweetie”.

“Goodnight”, Prompto exhaled with a grin.

The moment Six hung up, he pulled Muerlin’s head away, standing her up holding her tightly against him. His firm grip releasing a soft moan from her lips. Prompto groping her ass with both hands, hissed at his lover.

“Well, well, well…what do we have here?”, he nipped at her neck giving her ass a solid smack with both of his hands. He squeezed them rubbing his cock against folds, between her legs.

She keened at his aggressive teasing. “Damn you, Prompto…”, she growled at him frustrated in her failed efforts.

“You’re definitely in for it now, little girl”, he scooped her up wrapping her legs around him, she inhales sharply at his actions before being carried to the front counter.

Shit…what was he doing?

He placed her down on the counter, settling himself between her legs.

Muerlin chuckled at her love, gently stroking his torso. “I just whipped this counter down, you doofus”, Muerlin joked before her wrists were abruptly grabbed and slammed down to either sides of her head.

“Oh-hooo, trust me”, Prompto chuckled, his voice rusted, before unbuttoning her shirt exposing her flushed breats, “the counter would’ve been the least of your worries if I would’ve did this earlier….like I wanted to”.

Prompto took her soft breasts in his hands, squeezing them, before leaning forward crashing his lips against hers, she lightly biting his bottom lip before he pulled away. The blonde lightly groaning as he pulled away. He firmly placed his hands upon her face, gazing deeply into her eyes, his lips ghosting above hers.

“I’m gonna fuck the shit out of you”, he grunted before he kissed her again, lining himself up with her entrance. “…I’m gonna make you scream. More than Loqi or anyone else ever could”. She keened at his words in between their kisses. “You’re mine…and only mine…and I’ll fuckin’ show them”. He pulled away from her to view her gaze, his eyes gentle and sincere.

“Whaddya say?”, he panted softly.

“I say….fuck the shit out of me”, she lovingly smiled at him.

He raised an eyebrow at her, a lustful smirk stretched across his face. “Yes, ma’am”.

Muerlin’s sharp inhale echoed throughout the cafe as Prompto shoved his throbbing cock into her dripping heat as hard as he could, pounding away at his lover’s delicate body with incredible speed. He clutched onto her hips, holding her steady. The sound of their sweat covered flesh colliding meshed with Muerlin’s wails.

“Gods, yes, baby! Fuck me!”, she screamed as Prompto continued to aggressively pummel her heated core, a few light moans emitted from his throat.

“Who do you belong to?”, the young man grunted.

“You!”, she whined, her back arched.

“What’s my name?”, he lightly growled.

“Prom”, she moaned. Her voice slide through Prompto’s ears like silk. Hearing her like this nearly sent him over the edge. He felt her body tense up, her walls tightening around him as she was near her climax.

“Louder…I want everyone to hear”. His rhythm sloppied as he leaned forward above her pushing himself in deeper, still viciously pounding against her.

“Prom!”, she screamed, wrapping her arms around her lover, gazing deeply into his eyes. Tears beginning to form in the liquid pools as she started digging her fingers into his shoulders, clawing his freckled skin.

Prompto emitted a hefty groan from his throat at the slight pain causing him to slam his cock to the furthest depths of her core finally sending the silver haired woman over the edge with a pleasured scream just before she felt Prompto’s cock throb as he came, painting her insides with his essence, emitting a loud moan from his lips.

Prompto slowed his pace, bringing Muerlin down from her high. He gazed at her sweat covered body as it glistened in the light before his ocean eyes landed upon her puppy stare, he still hovering over her.

He gave her a loving smile, panting heavily, his golden locks plastered against his sweat covered face. She returned the smile pulling him down for a light kiss as he gently brushed her messy hair from her face.

Their embrace suddenly interrupted by a firm knock on the door, the two throw their heads back toward the door in slight panic. Thankfully Muerlin remembered to shut the blinds whiel cleaning earlier.

“Yo, Prompto. Ya in there?”, a gruff voice erupted from outside the cafe.

“Shit. It’s Gladio”, Prompto whispered pulling himself out of the woman, scrambling to situate himself, running to grab his shirt after he fastened his jeans.

Muerlin softly giggled knowing Gladio would dig into him so hard if he knew.

“Perhaps he has departed and forgot to switch off the lights”.

Wait…that sounded like…Ignis? Muerlin’s eyes widened in panic.

Then that must mean…

“Only Prompto…”.

NOCTIS!

Muerlin immediately hoped off the counter.

SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT!

Muerlin turned into a rabbit as she bolted to the back room, a gust of wind blowing past the blonde as he returned to the front. She could take Gladio’s teasing and Ignis’ glare generally intimidated Prompto which she always found entertaining, but the Crown Prince of Lucis???

FUCK. THAT.

Prompto stifled a giggle at Muerlin’s reaction to hearing his best friend’s voice as he pulled his shirt over his head hurrying to the door.

*door chime*

“Hey, guys!”, Prompto gleefully greeted his friends. “Sorry, I took so long”.

“Hmm…”, Gladio suspiciously raised an eyebrow, “and what were you up to?”

“Oh, y’know. Work stuff”, Prompto chuckled, shutting the door behind his friends.

Ignis examined the blonde’s disheveled hair. “Hmph, I see”.

“Good to see you finally taking something seriously”, Noctis poking fun at his friend’s overall laziness.

“Don’t think you’re really one to talk, Noct”, Prompto retorted, Noct flipping him the bird in response.

Gladio made his way to the counter, noticing the smudged sweat stains upon its surface. Leaning his back against it, his arms crossed, he smirked at the blonde.

“Anyone else here?”

Prompto nervously cleared his throat. “Uh, yeah…”.

“And who is might that be?”, the tattooed man pried, torturing the poor man,” one of the girls?”

Dammit, Gladio.

“That would explain why the place is so clean”, Noctis nonchalantly commented.

“It would also explain why your fly is undone…”, the royal advisor quietly addressed to the blonde. Prompto stammered as he zipped his jeans.

“Well..um…I-I…y’know”, he chuckled nervously.

“Hi, guys!”, a cheerful voice echoed from behind Gladio.

All four men turned to a fully clothed, yet barefoot, Muerlin. Gladio, chuckled reverting his gaze back to the blushing blonde, a teasing grin on his face.

“Well, well, I wouldn’t have guessed”.

“Ms. Zephyr, a pleasant surprise, indeed”.

Noctis lightly waved. “What’s up?”

“Eh, same old, same old”.

Gladio chuckled, “I bet”.

Prompto quickly made his way toward the woman. “Hey guys, just give me a sec”, he nervously spouted to his friend’s with a goofy smile.

“Don’t take too long now”, Gladio teased the flustered blonde.

Shut uuuuup, Gladio.

Muerlin smirked at the man, “you’re welcome”.

Prompto chuckled at his lover, rolling his eyes, before pushing her back against the wall. She gazed up to him, biting her lip as he stepped closer.

“Here’s what we’re gonna do”, he gently lifted her chin, ghosting his lips over hers and whispered, “I’m gonna deal with them and finish up paperwork, while you finish your usual closing procedures. We get out of here by 11, head to my place, go for another round and whoever loses cooks dinner. Understood?”

Muerlin places her hand behind the man’s hand seemingly pulling him in for a kiss, before lightly nipping at his earlode.

“…you’re the boss”.

Her words making the hair’s on his neck stand straight up, emitting a light chuckle from her throat before she retreated back into the front of the cafe.

Prompto’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he exhaled, calming himself down. He looked toward the ceiling in pure bliss, before resting his hands behind his head.

Humming a light victory theme as he returned to the others.

@insomniasix @ravagekamisama @aquathemermaidstripper @digitalkanvas @prettyprompto @a-new-recipehhh

#final fantasy xv #ffxv #final fantasy xv fanfiction #final fantasy oc #final fantasy au #prompto argentum #muerlinian zephyr #Six ulric #insomniasix #Noctis Lucis Caelum #gladiolus amicitia #ignis scientia #cindy aurum #loqi tummelt #prompto smut #dom!prom #this took way too long

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mahalidael · 7 years

Text

Sparkboys #2: A Roof Redneck Offers Me Brownies

Content warning: Profanity, drug mentions, screaming rednecks.

The polls are in and the polls want Murphy! Buckle up, buttercups, because Murphy ain’t done falling into this vortex of terror.

My tablet is on the road to recovery, so if the guys from Best Buy pull through, you might be seeing chapter art for each of these.

(Chapter 1)

“They’re staring at us.”

“Yeah, because you broke into a goddamn bathroom stall,” Jacob replied through a mouthful of shrimp. “Anybody reasonable’ld be starin’ at you.”

Picture this: you’ve got a scrawny looking kid with a bad dye job, a ratty hoodie, and the beginnings of a nosebleed. You’ve got a linebacker who’s been beat to hell and dunked in water. Put them in the same restaurant booth. That’s what was going on.

We figured we were both hungry, and that nobody would bother us if we sat together. Jacob looked socially pathetic, but he was still a whole lot of dude, and I was sure I would be eternally branded the Crazy Toilet Guy™, but at least no one would fuck with me.

The ideal football player looks like an all-American boy. Jacob looked like somebody who mugged all-American boys in a dark alley. Maybe the black eye was part of it (lord knows how that happened), maybe the piercings was part of it (earrings, nose stud, the whole works), but mostly he was just moody-looking. If Allison thought I was scowling, she should have gotten a load of this guy.

“Nah, they were already staring when I first came in…” I was looking out the window, pretending not to notice the gawkers. The outlet looked creepy, though I imagine it looked better in daylight. I thought of the people who were whispering Allison’s name. “Does it have anything to do with Dr. Allison?”

Jacob jumped a little, as if stabbed. “Why’d you think that?”

“Well, you seemed surprised when you read my texts. Come to think of it—thank you,” I said to the waitress, who put two drinks down. She, too, gave me a bit of a stink-eye. “—everyone seems to know who she is.”

Jacob took some sugar packets from the little tray on the table and started dumping them in his drink. I eyed the reddish-brown drinks cautiously—I had been getting my food while the waitress was at the booth, letting Jacob order drinks for both of us. He looked at me, lit up with curiosity. “What’s she to you?”

“Eh, she’s my mother,” I said evenly.

“You call your mother by her last name?”

“Fostered.”

“Oh. Like… real recently?”

“Yeah, how’d you guess?” I took a tiny sip of the drink. It already tasted like sugar. I couldn’t understand why Jacob was putting more in it.

“Sweet tea.”

“What?”

“The drinks. You were starin’ at ‘em like they were gonna bite you,” he chuckled, low. Masculine. I made a note to work on my laugh. “But Dr. Allison has a strange reputation in this town. We know maybe one thing about her, and it’s that she’s a doctor.”

“Robot scientist. Roboticist?”

“Really?”

“It’s what the social worker said.”

“Man, I knew she had to be doin’ somethin’ with all that sheet metal. My dad works at Lowe’s,” Jacob added. “Her neighbors swear up and down that she’s an organ trafficker.”

I picked at my dumplings uncomfortably—and there’s something strangely comforting about how, no matter where they are or what the sign says, Chinese restaurants will always serve dumplings. “Why?”

“Uh, foreign people showing up at her doorstep with briefcases. Strange noises from her house at night. General weirdness. But mostly because she don’t talk to anyone.”

“What, that’s an issue?”

“Ev’ryone knows ev’ryone in Cottonport. Nobody knows Allison—‘cept you, I suppose.” He got very quiet. “How is it?”

“The sweet tea, or Allison?”

“Both.”

“The tea’s sweet. Allison’s… I don’t know. I haven’t been there long enough to really have an opinion,” I admitted.

The waitress came back with the check and two fortune cookies. I was glad that I was at a buffet, otherwise she might’ve spat in my food. I looked over the restaurant again. The other teenagers had gotten bored of us, and instead, their eyes were on two women in suits speaking to the cashier. Local lesbians, I guessed.

I offered to pick up the check. At the same time, Jacob offered to pick up the check. “Dude, seriously, let me handle it, you’re already putting up with the town witch—”

“You were in a toilet when I met you, you don’t get to feel sorry for me—!”

“Lemme be nice to you!”

“Never!”

This was the first in what would prove to be a friendship full of arguments.

We ended up splitting it halfway. I still think I should have covered the whole check, especially since I got an extra box for Allison. Maybe if I gave her enough food she’d let me keep my kidneys.

“Are you awake?”

“Yeah, I’m awake.”

“You’ll have to tell me where to turn.”

Sitting in Jacob’s car was way more calming than I thought a ride with a stranger would be. It helps that his car looks like a mom car. You know those cars that you always see a million of at a carpool? That exact car.

I racked—wracked? Raked? I can never get those words straight—my brain, trying to remember where my house was. “Uh, turn left here.”

I’m not a fan of the suburbs at the best of times, but when I see a quiet neighborhood at night, my fight or flight instinct goes off. It was pitch dark, except maybe one or two streetlights. It was dark in Jacob’s car, too, but a nice dark. Allison’s takeout box burned in my lap. I hoped she liked fried rice.

Jacob kept driving down the winding roads as I tried to direct him. The poor guy, he was doing his best, but I wasn’t paying attention on my way in the first time. We were both thinking that we were lost but we were also both too busy wallowing in social anxiety to voice that.

We had been driving for about ten minutes when I looked at something on the side of the road and said “what’s that.”

At that point I knew we were Lost As Fuck, because this street had some odd houses. I knew what a McMansion looked like, but these weren’t really big enough to be mansions, they were just… Mc. But as much of a hot mess as these houses were, I was focusing on the moving light on top of the house.

“What’s what—wait,” Jacob said, slowing down. “What is that?”

It looked like somebody was waving a flashlight on the roof, though it was too dark for me to make out anything else. “Fuck if I know. You’ve got the good eyes.”

Jacob stopped the car and stared at the roof for a good moment. The syrupy light calmed down, apparently done with spinning around. “Is that—oh my god, it’s Rebecca!”

I squinted at the roof, still seeing nothing. “Who’s Rebecca?”

“The only person who’d climb onto a roof in the middle of the night, that’s who.” He covered his mouth, his eyebrows coming together. “Damn, what’s she even doing here?” He asked himself. “I thought her dad moved to Tacoma.”

Then the flashlight was aimed at the car. Jacob ducked like it was a gun. “Get down!”

I automatically bent over as far as the box would allow, and only afterwards did I realize I had no clue what this was about. “What? What’s going on?”

The beam was pointed through the car window. From the distance, I heard a girl shouting: “Jacob? Is that you?”

Jacob shushed me. “You can’t let her know I’m here!”

“I know you’re in there, silly, you left your headlights on!” Rebecca drawled. She also had an accent, but it was softer, I think? She sounded like that Gone With the Wind chick, which I think she’d find ironic.

Jacob groaned, sat up, and rolled down his window. “Don’t mind me, Rebecca, I’m just passin’ through!”

“Who’s that?”

“None of your business!” I peeked out the window, and immediately got a face full of light. “Hey! Don’t let her see you!”

“Oooooooooh! You got a boy in there!”

“No I don’t!”

I covered my eyes and squinted at the roof, but the nighttime was the wrong time this time. “Hey, roll down your window, stranger!” she shouted.

I looked to Jacob, but he had his head in his hands. I rolled the window down. Rebecca nodded her flashlight in approval. “Yeah, that’s what I thought, you don’t look familiar. Are you new in town?”

“Uh, yeah,” I called out.

“You want a brownie?”

“I… what?”

“I got some brownies, do you want a couple? Consider them a housewarming gift!”

“Do not,” Jacob hissed.

I was super confused now. “Hey, what’s up with this girl?” I asked Jacob.

“She’s just creepy. Don’t talk to her,” he whispered.

“I figured, she’s yelling at us from her roof. But how does she know who you are?”

“I was the top linebacker, a lot people know who I am.”

It didn’t explain the overly-familiar friendly rudeness, or how she knew what his truck looked like, or how he recognized her from so many yards away—but Jacob was close-lipped, and pumping him for answers would be stupid.

There was only one question that I could get a real straight answer on. “But does she have, like… drugs?”

“What? No!” Jacob sputtered. “...W—why? D’you want any?”

Hm, Rebecca was weird and possibly troubled. Sounded like my kind of company. So I grabbed some stuff and got out of the car. “What’re you doin’?!” Jacob demanded, getting out of the driver’s seat.

“Going to meet the crazy roof girl. Hold my box.”

“See, Jacob? Some people know how to have a good time,” Rebecca chortled.

“You mind your own goddamn business, Rebecca!” Jacob yelled at the roof.

“There’s a ladder by the wall here,” she continued, pointing her flashlight at a spot on the grass. “You don’t have to stay, you can just grab you a brownie.”

I started towards the spot, only to be stopped in my tracks. I turned and saw Jacob holding the hood of my sweatshirt. “What are you doing?!”

“What are you doin’? This ain’t your house! We’re trespassing,” he snapped. “You know what could happen? We could get arrested!”

“Bad things can happen every day, you ding-dong. I could get herpes every time I walk outside! That doesn’t stop me from living my life!”

“That ain’t how herpes works.”

“You don’t know what I do in my free time!” I spotted the shape of a ladder leaning against the building. Great!

I think a lot about that ladder. I guess Rebecca put it there, but she could have gone out the window to get on the roof. Without it, I probably wouldn’t have taken her offer. How different would my life turn out if I had?

Anyway:

I started climbing up the ladder, and Jacob was basically scurrying behind me. “If you don’t come down from there, you’re gonna be walkin’ home!”

“Cool.”

I couldn’t see his face, but I imagined it was turning red. “Fine! Stay here, see if I care!”

“Uh huh.”

“I’m drivin’ off, and you’re either gettin’ arrested or draggin’ yourself into one of Rebecca’s dumb shenanigans! I’m tired of enablin’ ev’ry mildly quirky boy that says hello to me!”

“Then drive off.”

“I am, asshole! Good evenin’!”

I heard him storming off behind me. He wouldn’t be gone for long, I had his car keys.

Vote for more Sparkboys by giving this post a like or reblog!

#word #sparkboys #4books #my writing

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sky-scribbles · 7 years

Text

Dancing In Rainfall

A quick little fic as my contribution to Warden day for @dwarfappreciationweek, featuring Magda ‘Maddie’ Brosca, and the three things she loves most: rain, dancing, and Leliana.

The rain started not long after they stopped for the night. The campfire hissed and sputtered, water rebounded from the rock walls ringing the camp, and their comrades bolted for the dry safety of their tents. Alistair snatched up his stew, Wynne her books, Oghren his mead, and all of them vanished behind the hide flaps so swiftly that a watcher might have thought a mage had somehow erased them from existence. Leliana was about to follow – even stood to do so – when she saw Maddie.

Eyes upon the clouds, feet firmly planted on a rock, the leader of their party stood with her head tilted back and her arms held away from her sides, as if embracing the sky. As the drops quickened and thickened, slamming down against her pale face, Leliana saw a grin drag the corners of her mouth outwards.

Bliss is not a word Leliana associates frequently with Magda Brosca. And seeing Maddie like this – taking joy in something so simple – moved Leliana to stay outside as the heavens opened, to stand on the rocks at Maddie’s side, to tip back her head and let the rain crash down on her cheeks.

‘I bloody love the surface,’ Maddie whispered. ‘Water. From the sky. This place is mad.’

Leliana laughed.

The sky is clear now, the deluge moving northwards, and they have relit the campfire and nestled themselves close to it to hasten the drying of their clothes and hair. Maddie has tucked herself under Leliana’s arm, her warmth welcome in the evening chill, and just her very presence – her there-ness – making a drowsy kind of joy thrum in Leliana’s chest.

They’ve been talking for some time, about Maddie’s love of rain and snow and ‘every crazy piece of weirdness else’ that proves that there’s no longer a stone roof above her head, and about a few of the stories Leliana knows about the shapes of the stars above them, and about their journey and their pasts and their thoughts about what tomorrow might bring. But now, they’ve settled into that kind of contented silence that can only exist between best friends and lovers, the silence that asks for no filling, that’s filled simply by the closeness of the other person. It’s so deep – even the owls have fallen silent – that when Maddie suddenly breaks it, Leliana blinks in surprise.

‘Do bards learn to dance?’

Maddie mumbles the question, as if she’s thought better of speaking it aloud even as it leaves her mouth. She looks away, picking at the grass and pursing her lips, and Leliana frowns before nodding.

‘But of course we learn to dance. A bard must be able to entrance by every possible method - with song, with tales, and with our bodies. And we could hardly expect to be welcome at the balls and masquerades thrown by Orlesian nobles if we were tripping over our feet all the time.’

With a nod, Maddie snatches up a waterlogged stick and pokes the end into the fire. A coil of steam rises with a hiss from where the flames touch the wetness clinging to the wood. ‘I guess it was all… stately stuff. Gowns and slow twirling. That kind of thing.’

‘You’d be surprised,’ Leliana tells her. ‘Some Orlesian dances can be very energetic. Aggressive, even. There are a great many stories I could tell you of catastrophes that have happened when someone put a foot out of place in a particularly lively dance, and tripped up the entire ballroom.’

Maddie lets out an explosive snort. ‘A whole room full of snobs in fancy dress flopping to the ground? I’d pay to see that.’

Leliana waits for her to go on, but she stays silent, prodding at the fire with her stick. So Leliana says, ‘Why do you ask?’

For a moment, she thinks Maddie isn’t going to answer; she feels the small body pressed against hers go still, and sees Maddie’s face freeze. Then, with a huff, Maddie throws the stick into the fire – sending up another cough of smoke – and shakes her head. ‘It’s just… back in Orzammar, I always kind of wanted to learn how. To dance, I mean.’

Leliana stares for a moment, then smiles. These were not words she ever expected to hear Maddie utter. ‘Was there no one who could teach you?’

‘Teach?’ Maddie turns the word into a bark of laughter. ‘No one teaches Casteless anything, ‘cept how to sweep a street, pick a pocket and take a punch. Sometimes I tried to see if I could pick it up the way I learned to fight – telling my body what to do until it started working. I thought maybe if I watched the right people…’ She shakes herself suddenly. ‘But it never worked, so I stopped trying. Just made me look like a prat.’

Now Leliana thinks about it, she realises she has no idea what kind of place dancing might have in the culture of dwarves. ‘What sort of people would you watch? I suppose the nobility dance, no?’

Again, Maddie takes a few seconds to answer. And when she does, she speaks with unusual slowness, as if she’s measuring every word, picking them out with utmost care. It’s a strange thing to hear from her, from Magda Brosca who throws out her words as carelessly as she throws out punches, who holds back her real thoughts for no one.

‘There was this one time,’ she says at last, ‘this job I was doing for Beraht. I must’ve been… somewhere ‘bout fifteen. Got sent into the Diamond Quarter – first time I’d ever been in there – to steal some kind of… document thing from some snotty noble or other. Didn’t know what it was about. Didn’t ask. Almost killed me getting into the Quarter without being seen, but I managed it, found the estate.’ She spits out the word estate, as if it contains poison. ‘There was a party going on – that was my cover to get in unseen and sneak about while everyone was distracted – and I looked into a room through the keyhole to see whether it was the right one, and… and there was this girl. 'Round the same age as me. Dancing.’

She closes her eyes.

‘I’d never seen anyone dance before. Not like there’s anything to dance about in Dust Town, and twirling your body around’s not gonna put food on the table, is it? Dancing – and music, and art, and I dunno, poetry and whatever – it’s about as useful as mud, when there’s a brand on your face. Less useful, at least mud’s good for chucking at people or putting on a burn. I always thought dancing was just this... this stupid thing nobles did because they could, just one more way for them to show off that they had the time and coin to spend on doing things with no point to them – and then I saw her. I saw the way she moved.’

A touch of wonder has crept into her tone. Leliana smiles and pulls her a little closer.

‘She had dark hair, and it was all wavy from being in braids, but she’d taken it out to brush it. She was wearing a purple dress, and she… she was dancing. No music – I think she was just practising, she was gonna do it in front of the party later or something. She just… flowed. It was the first time in my life I’d ever looked at anyone – anything – and thought, beautiful.’

Leliana smiles. ‘Did you talk to her?’

This is met with another snort. ‘Thought you were supposed to be a master of sneaking around, Leli. If I’d opened that door, she’d have yelled for the guards, I’d have been chased back to Dust Town with half the nug-humping Warrior Caste after me, I’d never have finished the job, and I’d have gone to bed hungry.’ Maddie shakes her head again. ‘But I wanted to. I wanted to go and talk to her. I wanted to ask where she learned to dance like that, and if she could teach me. I wanted to know her name. I wanted to know her favourite colour, what foods she liked – I wanted to know everything about her. I wanted her to know everything about me. Screw that, I... I just wanted her to know I existed, for her to know that I knew she existed. But that couldn’t happen. So I finished the job, robbed her family, and went home.’

Her voice is charged with anger now. Most people tend to back away when confronted with Maddie when she’s angry, but Leliana just clasps her hand and gives it a squeeze, because she knows Maddie’s anger isn’t directed at her, but at Orzammar, at its Caste system and arrogant nobles, at everyone who made her live a life where she’d be arrested if she stopped to ask a pretty girl how to dance.

If it had been a story, Leliana thinks, it would have ended very differently. Some small sound would have made the dancing girl turn around and happen to see the blue eye in the keyhole. She would have opened the door and, seeing the strange, scruffy beauty of the Casteless girl in front of her, would have felt the words to call the guards die in her throat. She would have smiled and laughed at Maddie’s questions, and taught her to dance, and met with her again and again, both of them revelling in this secret they kept from their families. And eventually they would have run away to the surface to be together, giving up everything they knew for the sake of love.

But life, as Leliana knows all too painfully well, is seldom like the tales.

And besides, if that had happened… they couldn’t have this, now. Maddie would not be here today. Some other Grey Warden would have passed through Lothering, and Leliana would never have sat fireside with a dwarf tucked into the crook of her arm. That would have been a pitiable fate.

You should have turned around, she thinks, imagining the dancing girl. You should have seen her. You should have known that she existed. But… I am glad you didn’t.

‘So, yeah,’ Maddie says, her voice breaking in on Leliana’s thoughts. ‘Sometimes I tried to work out how to do it myself, but I never got anywhere. My mother found me doing it once, and gave me a hiding for doing something useless. So I told myself I was being stupid, doing something only nobles did and I was better than that, and went back to stealing. Haven’t thought about dancing in years, haven’t really thought about anything beautiful for years, ‘til… ‘til I met someone who’s got a knack of reminding me.’

She looks away sharply, gouging shapes in the ash from the fire with one finger. ‘I mean, I thought… it’s stupid, but I reckoned that if you knew how to dance, you could…’

‘Teach you?’ Leliana finishes, frowning. ‘Why... why should that be stupid?’

Maddie doesn’t reply, only pokes at the ash more fiercely. But Leliana understands. Because you’re still not used to being allowed things that you want. Because you don’t want to be like the nobles who hated you and who had everything they wanted. And because people told you for years that you didn’t deserve anything you wanted, and a part of you still believes it.

Fury pulses through her, and she struggles for a second with a powerful urge to set out to Orzammar and throw every member of the nobility off a cliff. Maddie should not have existed in such a way for so long, without anyone to tell her that she is a good person, that she matters, that she deserves to have good things in her life. But it doesn’t matter now. Maddie will never live like that again.

Because of you? It’s a cold, bitter voice in her mind that speaks the words, and Leliana’s jaw clenches. Because of someone who still thirsts for the battle, still revels in deception, still takes joy in the kill?

Leliana looks at Maddie, at the way her wet hair is turned from yellow to gold and copper in the fire-glow, and the cold voice dies.

Yes, Leliana thinks. Because of me.

She gets to her feet, and holds out a hand. ‘Let me show you.’

Maddie looks up at her, lips slightly parted. ‘Really? Right now? You’re sure?’

Leliana just raises her eyebrows and sticks her hand out a little further. And Maddie grins broadly, shrugs, and leaps to her feet. ‘Well, why the heck not? Life’s short.’

And so Leliana guides Maddie’s hands to her waist, and explains the basics in a low voice, and smiles as she does so at how strange and wonderful this is. How this girl forged by the streets, with her scabbed knuckles and Casteless brand and constantly-clenching fists can be standing here with her in the calm of the evening, brows furrowed in concentration, receiving her first dancing lesson. Leliana knows that she has been blessed enough by the Maker, to be allowed to join this quest, to stand at the front lines of the battle against the Blight - but her true blessing is in how Maddie’s small hands, the hands of a fighter and thief, hold her so gently, almost reverently. Maddie reveres nothing - no Maker, no ancestors, no leadership, no laws - but somehow, she is able to look at Leliana like this, and it feels... it feels so humbling, so wonderful, so right.

‘Ready to start?' Leliana asks, and as she does so, a single drop of water splashes onto her arm.

A pause. Maddie flicks her eyes upward. ‘S’raining,’ she points out.

Leliana laughs, leans down, and presses a kiss to Maddie’s forehead. ‘Let it.’

And so the rain falls, and they dance.

#wrote this kinda quickly but I hope it's ok #dragon age #dragon age origins #dwarf appreciation week #warden brosca #dwarf commoner #leliana #warden x leliana #sky's writing #oc: magda brosca

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justheretotalkaboutgames · 5 years

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Atlantis Squarepantis (Wii)

Basic Premise

“ In SpongeBob's Atlantis SquarePantis, SpongeBob and Patrick stumble upon the lost magical amulet that will take them to the legendary city of Atlantis. Players will join them and the rest of their Bikini Bottom pals as they ride in a magical bus for a soaking new adventure. Hoping to uncover the treasures of Atlantis in order to fulfill SpongeBob's dream of finding the "World's Oldest Bubble," players will control whether the city brings everything he desires, or if Plankton's evil plan will burst his bubble. [THQ] “ -Metacritic

Basically in this game you relive the events of the pretty meh episode special through 4 types of minigames while you can also do some stuff on the side.

The Looks

One of these is from the game and the other one with from the 2002 Employee of the Month PC game.

My point for bringing these up is because the cutscenes look really...weird to me. You go from the nice-looking in-game models to these odd-looking cutscenes.

Besides the cutscenes (And tutorial-bob) the models and game look appealing. During some of the game’s sections, you notice a couple of cute visual details like Patrick accidentally throwing his icecream in the air to wave at SpongeBob and said icecream falls onto his head and during Squidward’s posing you see all the silly looking posing and finished paintings.

Audio-wise it shares a similar issue to Creature of the Krusty Krab. In Battle for Bikini Bottom, the lines were short and sweet or at least easy to ignore. in this game the characters have a tendency to use the same line a LOT and some are long. The only sessions that didn’t bug me were the puzzle sections and sections Plankton’s/Squidward's Posing scenes.

There was one really weird part of the game though to me.

Mr.Krabs voice I guess wasn’t hired because Mr. Krabs says absolutely nothing cept weird noises and laughs. Characters will act as if they’re gonna have a conversation with Mr. Krabs and all he does is stand there

like a dead

sou͟ll͢e҉ss̡

H̴̷́͜͡Ứ͝S̴̢̀͞K̢̕͡

Oh, also before each gameplay you have an always smiling weird looking model of Spongebob. You can customize his outfit by buying stuff in the shop

The Gameplay

The gameplay can be separated into multiple sections

Those sections i’m gonna explain

Pressing a button at right time sections

Driving an Ice Cream Tank sections

Puzzle sections

On Rail Sections

Misc.

Pressing a button at the right time sections

My least favorite part was the longest and most frequent ones, oh joy.

They’re titled as ‘musical’ bits but I don’t really call them that because their music for the scenes you never know when they end because they just repeat the track. Really there’s only ONE ‘musical’ part and it’s at the beginning when everyone is powering up the bus with their own form of music

(btw in said part Patrick is last, finishes his part, then in the cutscene says he wants to try)

Usually in these parts you get up to 3 characters to run as, if you mess up the character disappears till the section is over. A.K.A, you have three chances to beat the section. Which, least to me, wasn’t TOO difficult. At most I lost like, 2 characters.

Driving an Ice Cream Tank sections

In these sections you play as plankton, destroying stuff and advancing to destroy more stuff. Occasionally you get a powerup that I THINK lets you shoot faster.

While these sections can be fun, story-wise they make very little sense. You destroy buildings, tanks, and all sorts of stuff with ice cream. Your literal temporary powerup is a CONTAINER OF FROZEN ICECREAM. So the fact plankton is shocked at the end it’s ice cream is a little ridiculous.

Controlling the tanks with the d pad (it says on the back cover to use nunchucks- in the main parts of the game at least you never use them) is uncomfortable and stiff. I would’ve rather been able to use the smooth and simple nunchuck here.

Puzzle Sections

...My only favorite parts were like, what, two stages?

The first time you use it is near the start with SpongeBob and Patrick trying to exit the cave. Spongebob can use a spatula to open doors for himself and flip canons while Patrick can throw Spongebob/Anchors to get to areas.

The second time you get 3 more characters. Sandy lassos (you swing the wii remote in a circle to lasso) characters towards her and opens up hatches which create bridges. Squidward runs fast (he’s sonic now I guess) so he can pass through treadmills other characters can and uses treadmills to open doors. Mr Krab’s pockets can magnetically go in the direction of money, letting him go to far areas.

You only use these mechanics twice

t w i c e

The banter I found it easier to ignore here and when I was paying attention, wasn’t annoying me. I thought the guards in the second portion in the light rooms were charming.

On Rail Sections

There are three variations of the on rail parts.

You either play in a museum (one at bikini bottom and another at Atlantis) and take photos while throwing Krabby patties at guards who are trying to stop you and make you lose points. You usually wanna take pictures of artifacts, usually indicated by a Spongebob hand pointing at it. I found it odd we threw Krabby patties at Atlantian guards because all these parts were BEFORE Patrick popped the bubble.

And speaking of that part, you DO reach that bubble. You don’t actually pop it though like the cutscenes later will claim. You take a pic and for a few minutes, you can clearly see it’s still standing there.

One other part, that only happens once, is Sandy and Mr. Krabs (though he shows no indication he’s actually wanting Sandy to help). teaming up to collect as many riches as possible. You do this by shooting multiple pieces of treasure and jewelry- some more valuable than others. If you gain three gems in a row you get a combo and sometimes even a powerup. Don’t shoot anvils or taxes or else you lose points. These parts were alright, though felt like they took a while.

The third variant is with, again, Sandy. She’s shooting ping pong balls out of Squidward (don’t ask) to attack enemies and continue your escape out of Atlantis because they’re pretty pissed about Patrick popping the real bubble. You can destroy certain obstacles and soldiers holding icecream also for bonus points.

Each of these parts were alright, nothing special though that i’d want to come back to.

Misc.

There’s things you can do in-between stages.

You see, if you complete a stage under certain limits/time you get medals. You can continue the stages I believe without them, but in order to buy anything, you need to get a medal.

Gold: 3

Silver: 2

Bronze: 1

I usually got silvers and I was not motivated to try to do gold for each part. I only didn’t get a medal piece once at the end with plankton.

In the shop, you can either buy accessories for tutorial-bob, gain look at concept art, and minigames.

They, in my opinion, aren’t worth getting a bunch of gold medals over. The minigames are average and even sometimes flawed and you only see tutorial bob in pre-level explaining

In Conclusion

When I first played the game I hoped it was gonna be like Truth or Square, where the game was waaaay better than the actual show special. I knew the game was also made by Spongebob creature from a Krusty krab which- while not perfect- the game still obtained a certain charm to it. This game wasn’t terrible per se, but it was just boring and felt like a large waste of my time. I want to think the creators still tried with this one due to all the visual quirks in the in-game sections. This one though just wasn’t a hit for me.

I remember when I was young and I first played it I hated it too much to put it in areas where it could easily be destroyed (It still work on my wii u though). While I, of course, would not do that today I can see why I didn’t like it much back then. Especially when compared to the other ones.

#spongebob #review #Spongebob Atlantis Squarepantis #Atlantis Squarepantis #Wii

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punkscowardschampions · 4 years

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Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 👍? Jimmy: you? Janis: what kind of answer isn't that, boy 😏 Jimmy: what kind of question were it in the first place, girl? Janis: honestly, try and be a good host Janis: you just want me to be shit Jimmy: that's not what I want Janis: Go on, you've got me interested Jimmy: What, you're not riveted by Gracie's IRL storytime? 😱😱 Janis: if I was, I'd be subscribed Jimmy: OMG you're NOT suchanathlete69??! Jimmy: that's awkward Janis: Catfished again Janis: unlucky, mate Jimmy: did wonder why you were saving your best chat for them late night 🗨 we were having Janis: 🙄 Hilarious Janis: obviously you'd have got none if I'd have known you were coolguy666 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: I know Janis: welcome for the pain for your art Jimmy: #whenyourmusenevertakesadayoff Janis: this is a business trip Jimmy: owe you a golf holiday, I know Jimmy: gonna have to proper unwind for a bit as only a rich girl can Janis: No, no Janis: golf trips are boys only clubs Janis: 💔 💀👑 Jimmy: poor baby Janis: please never call her that Jimmy: you don't think it's a goer? reckon she'd 💕 it Janis: 🤢 Janis: she doesn't 💕 you, soz Jimmy: I'd obvs say it in her daddy's accent, not that thick Janis: Stop 😂 Janis: we cannot afford to pull over Jimmy: he ain't driving that fast, let's just jump out Janis: I know her voice IS that annoying Jimmy: could easily drown her out, mine's worse Janis: nah Janis: no 🥇 for you on that one Jimmy: [nudges her like rude] Janis: [nudges him back like it's a compliment, idiot] Jimmy: [a look like it's not one of your best 😏] Janis: [a look like you want my best rn?] Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [just the longest LOOK back ever but then looking at the fam like 😒 ugh] Jimmy: [just touching her 😒 face so she's looking at him again like forget them] Janis: [makes a lil noise like oh, but then so 😍] Jimmy: [a lil kiss but really soft and quick so nobody else notices] Janis: you are so Jimmy: you are Janis: no you Jimmy: [kisses her again less softly or quickly because no you] Janis: [goes in like dgaf fam] Jimmy: [y'all can deal we know Grace is the only one who's bothered and she's seen worse/is chatting away] Janis: better? Jimmy: how do you want me to answer that? Janis: truthfully Janis: obvs Jimmy: [shakes his head because we know any time they kiss he just wants to kiss more #mood but she could read that no as he's not gonna answer] Janis: [is a bit like ?? but shrugs like okay] Jimmy: [I like to think he's about to say something but then his phone is going off cos all that fam drama whenever he goes anywhere] Janis: [just sitting there, not knowing what the craic is #always] Jimmy: [sums up this era so accurately] Janis: do you reckon that lot are even in the car yet Jimmy: probably still trying to fit the tall one's body in the boot Janis: great Janis: HATE when you have to wait for the gals to decapitate ⏲😩 Jimmy: I'll tell 'em to crack on Janis: 'cos they always listen to you Jimmy: duh Janis: you'll need at least (1) sports car for those privileges Jimmy: better get to nicking one then Janis: oh yeah Janis: gonna be loads rocking up Jimmy: Challenge accepted, Jules Janis: know I said it was a business trip Janis: but gonna be suspicious if you don't at least pretend to enjoy the tunes Jimmy: 🥇 but it'll still be a stretch Janis: you got this, babe Jimmy: 🏆💪 Janis: all tight tanks and short shorts, is it Janis: gotcha Jimmy: [😏] Jimmy: can't bully you into wearing pjs everywhere Janis: too right Janis: well soft, you Jimmy: [pushes her like oi but deliberately really softly] Janis: [😏] Janis: I might've brought a pair Janis: if you're lucky Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: not a paddy Janis: then I'm gonna be well cold in our tent tonight Jimmy: not gonna let that happen Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend would do Janis: one who's busy jacking cars maybe Jimmy: fancy cars have heated seats, you'll be alright Jimmy: on or off my lap Janis: on Janis: thanks Jimmy: [pulls her onto his lap now so casually] Janis: [snuggles into him as casually like, could be warmer] Jimmy: [puts his arms around her like he's doing it for warmth but we know he's just pulling her closer too] Janis: alright, I'll trust you Jimmy: alright, I might be a bit lucky Janis: you can be Jimmy: [such a LOOK] Janis: I can't wait to be alone with you again Jimmy: you sure we can't pull over? Janis: can you reach the break from here? Janis: [reaching her leg over like she's gonna but they are obviously nowhere near] Jimmy: [just looking at her like well you moving about is not helping] Janis: [is fully aware and enjoying it herself] Jimmy: [whispers in her ear that he hates her because we can't say what we really wanna say] Janis: [#into it and having to do the most to hide it from the whole van rn] Janis: you're so rude Jimmy: how am I? Jimmy: it's you Janis: you started it Jimmy: it's your fault Janis: it's not my fault you look like that Janis: or feel like Jimmy: but you're so Jimmy: that's nowt to do with me Janis: it's everything to do with you Jimmy: alright maybe a bit Jimmy: I just Janis: I know Jimmy: do you? Janis: [a LOOK up like don't I?] Jimmy: [just gonna kiss her so you don't say something you shouldn't thank you boy] Janis: [a moment] Janis: Me too Jimmy: [looking at her because she's so beautiful it's killing us all] Janis: [when you can never keep looking as long as he can so you move somehow closer to hide] Jimmy: [making it so she has to look at you, excuse you sir cos you're shamelessly hot about it, as if all the eye contact in the world will do the job of telling her you love her so you don't have to do it #ifonly] Janis: [when you literally cannot and you go way too hard 'cos you have no other option because what can you say] Jimmy: [excuse them rn everyone, thank god Grace is loud af whether she's still talking or blasting music or both lol] Janis: [at least the camper does offer a degree of privacy too you two are clearly in the back alone] Jimmy: [mhmm you're all very welcome for that] Janis: ['can you be quiet?' when you're so serious suddenly 'cos the need is so real] Jimmy: [nods but like can you actually boy I am less convinced] Janis: [do your best lads 'cos we doing this regardless tbh] Jimmy: [you must've been pretty quiet in that kitchen the other day as his brother and sister were in the next room then, you can do this] Janis: [we believe in you, in his ear whilst she can still trust herself to whisper though, 'I'm gonna make it so hard for you'] Jimmy: [already biting his lip because you can't be making a noise that fast #challengeaccepted but he obvs wants to and would've] Janis: [biting his ear lobe at the same time 'cos forever a thing now for all those #mems 'it was never hard to fake this part, you know' 'cos we all know that was never fake 'cept the very first time 'you're so fucking wantable'] Jimmy: ['its so different with you' even as a whisper you can imagine how his voice sounds cos as much as he meant that like he's so over all the girls in his DMs telling him how hot he is etc that 100% isn't ALL he means, likewise he doesn't just mean this is so different from the fake and we all know it #emotions] Janis: [when it's obviously exactly the same for you and it's been known since the first kiss so it throws you when he says it 'cos still just think you're broken or something at this point and you really wanna ask really so he says it again but you don't wanna give yourself away so you just go in 'cos you need all the moments] Jimmy: [safer that both of you don't talk for a bit tbh] Janis: [deffo gonna be saying his name though like it's the only word you know casually] Jimmy: [so into it, she was not wrong about making it hard for him to shhhh] Janis: [so into that, soz to everyone else we know they do not care] Jimmy: [glad as I am Harold is not turning up at this festival always a bit gutted because you need to know just how much you can't compete sir] Janis: [foreals, though it should be obvious with how hard you're being ignored/she's not hitting you up] Jimmy: [just Mia in his DMs what a downgrade] Janis: [when even her intentions aren't pure, poor boy lmao] Jimmy: [I'm sure there's also loads of girls from your own school, I don't feel sorry for you boy] Janis: [no one should] Jimmy: [he's a bad egg] Janis: [and not even bringing it sexually, rude] Jimmy: [he and Mia so #fated cos she's obvs not either] Janis: [imagine they got together together if Mia wasn't cray] Jimmy: [they're getting as together as she ever does, being in love with her dad and everything, like he'll last longer than anyone else has] Janis: [awh, get married guys] Jimmy: [thank god they can't have babies cos imagine] Janis: [gutted y'all won't be invited to the wedding and baby shower] Jimmy: [so glad she's as barren so she can't have a child just to hurt Grace when that all comes out] Janis: [the levels of petty] Jimmy: [she'd be gutted she can't force one of the others to do it] Janis: [do not need that level of drama ty ladies] Jimmy: [anyway is there any other shit we wanna do with JJ before they get there?] Janis: [we know the vibe, in their happy bubble now 'til they have to deal with the flat whites again] Jimmy: [ignore your fam for as long as you can as well boy, you need a break] Janis: [do we wanna hit the flat white points in here or ref on socials or a mix of?] Jimmy: [we can probably do both cos plenty of slagging off of them to be done] Janis: [right, what do we wanna do first, what makes most sense, Asia maybe, or Mia] Jimmy: [we said that Mia hits that first aid tent pretty fast for the attention so we could do that first] Janis: [lego 👍] Janis: don't you fancy being 🥇 nurse? Janis: sure you can plump a pillow better than any of them 😏 Jimmy: that'll be why I'm legging it in the other direction Jimmy: she's getting too used to having me about as is Jimmy: and I've only got a 💀💀💀 pact with you Jimmy: unless 👵👴💕 come asking Janis: treat 'em mean is her whole thing, she'll 👀 your game from a mile off, like Janis: and I'll keep mine out for any 👵👴 that are down with the kids Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: d'ya reckon we could convince her 💊 were sleeping tabs or Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: though if she tells me she loves me, I will need the med tent for real 🤢 Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: 💔 Janis: don't lie Janis: all you want is her love, be like you doubled your dose Jimmy: steady on Jimmy: can't all pile into first aid Janis: not getting in no tent with them again Janis: the ☁ of fucking glitter and 'perfume' was worse than tear gas Janis: gonna have flashbacks Jimmy: Baby Jimmy: I get it, you already ✨ eh, vampire girl Janis: any more glow would just be showing off Janis: not like me, obvs Jimmy: don't sound like you at all Jimmy: [but kisses her] Janis: you tryna save me, yeah Jimmy: got some first aid skills of my own Jimmy: 🏆 Janis: [😏] Janis: can we keep that between us Janis: or they'll all be faking it Jimmy: they were warned only one of you is getting mouth to mouth ages ago Janis: her man ain't here so Janis: you're well in Jimmy: ⏲💔😭 Jimmy: [playfully pushes her out of the way like I g2g] Janis: me that's 💔💔💔 Janis: dickhead Jimmy: [pulls her into a hug that's meant to be OTT but is just real] Janis: [when you can't even pretend to push him away] Jimmy: ['I told you ages ago, I just want you' as a whisper in her ear but with kisses in between the words like the first time he said it for those mems] Janis: [the 😍 are so real, at least they must be somewhere nearby but definitely not for their benefit really we know 'good'] Jimmy: [we know he's giving them back] Janis: [they need to be dragged to an artist they 100% don't wanna see rn] Jimmy: [10000% cos for him that's literally all of them and I vote she sees community service girl with her 📷 but she doesn't see them cos busy and Janis makes sure Jimothy don't see her lol lol] Janis: [tbh, we all know there's ways of doing that, namely dancing with him, even if the music is far too shit so you have to make your own rhythm] Jimmy: [he's only got 👀s for her at the best of times so it's really not a challenge to distract him lol] Janis: [this can be when Ella freaks out too, when you and Mia just wanna be alone in the tent lmao you seem SO gay] Jimmy: [oh ladies] Janis: 🖖🕙✂ Jimmy: ? Janis: contenders for love's young dream Jimmy: you and Mr Lucas got a better shot Jimmy: 🎯💕 Janis: sure, he's less 💀 than them but young is still a stretch Jimmy: he's too young for me Janis: who isn't Janis: dead fussy Jimmy: we can't all be as unfussy as the #squad Jimmy: 💀#2 excluded Janis: you can say slags, it's alright Janis: never hear you over this racket Jimmy: [shouts it because that nerd] Janis: [loling] Jimmy: didn't have their hearing checked Jimmy: shit nursing that Janis: your standards are very high, it's been known Janis: [OTT smug face like look at me] Jimmy: [twirls her around because nerd] Janis: [fully have a nerdy dance moment and knock into people be those dicks 'cos the level you do not care about anyone else ever] Jimmy: [literally nobody else here as far as you two are concerned] Janis: [until we blow that up anyway] Jimmy: [speaking of I like to think Grace is starting to put the moves on whatever guy she ends up pulling to annoy Mia cos not there to stop her] Janis: [telling her all about his band and set, like how fascinating] Jimmy: [the fam she's grown up in, boy she knows] Janis: [when you realize none of 'em are paying attention now, Asia's probably missing and the two left are flirting so you see your chance] Janis: wanna go find some overpriced food n drink? Jimmy: stop calling me fat OMG 😱😱 Janis: [pokes his non-existent belly 'cos you ain't even with how much you smoke/general decent genetics, lucky] Janis: that's what we 💗 about you Janis: make us look better Jimmy: first off, Asia couldn't look any better, tah very much 👻💕 Jimmy: second, piss off you Janis: 🤞 an opportune date rapist has thought so too and we won't have to see her 'til tomorrow Janis: [going in the direction of the food trucks etc] Jimmy: [following her obvs] Janis: [holding her hand back like 'don't get lost'] Jimmy: [giving her look like he might find Asia but boy we all know you'd be gutted instead of thrilled if you did, stop playing] Janis: [gesturing with your free hand like be my guest, but 😒 face with it] Jimmy: [return of the pouty lip kiss thing because he can't even pretend he wants anyone else at this point] Janis: [enjoy your moment being so in everyone's way in this crowd] Jimmy: [we know you love it] Janis: [stay back community service gal] Jimmy: [we're not ready for you yet hun] Janis: [well you are gonna have to shoot your shot soon 'cos this is only a weekend but ignoring you rn thanks 'cos full on alone time 'cos the flat whites are being messy by themselves] Jimmy: [soz jj have gotta do the most so it's the most awkward when you do appear] Janis: [oosh she's gonna be so mad, already mad you're here like no you ain't allowed lol] Jimmy: [like I think she should do something at the last possible moment so then it's like raw af when they gotta leave] Janis: [I vibe] Jimmy: [so for now you can be happy nerds until Asia's bf appears and is like ??] Janis: [oh sir, you don't even know] Jimmy: [they'd both be so relieved you're not Harry though tbh] Janis: [#bffs probably checking his socials so hard making sure he looks busy somewhere else like] Jimmy: [she can be doing that while he's having a text argument with either his dad or sister casually] Janis: [awkward if he saw that out of context] Jimmy: [OMG should we] Janis: [why not yo] Jimmy: [let's say he goes to take her phone to look at something on Cass' socials cos she's blocked him as a fuming 12 year old would and that's how he sees it cos you know he's not gonna ask if he can borrow it just take it like a rude hoe] Janis: [when you're just like excuse me, taking it back 'cos you lowkey aren't even thinking how that looks] Jimmy: [looking at her like EXCUSE YOU cos of how it does look] Janis: [taking what would seem like a rude amount of time to get it like ? then just pshing like oh please] Janis: checking he ain't coming Jimmy: 👍 Janis: really Janis: what is up with you? Jimmy: [just shaking his head because fuming] Janis: ['what?' and a look like I know this cannot be about him rn] Jimmy: leave it out Janis: you can read my messages if you like, 'cos I ain't sent him none Jimmy: I don't wanna read whatever bollocks he reckons is top 🍑📞 Jimmy: you're alright Janis: yeah, me either Jimmy: don't wanna hear your protests either Jimmy: @ Bill's 👻 Janis: Don't be a dick 🙄 Jimmy: you only about it when he's doing it? Janis: yeah, obviously Jimmy: 👌 Janis: seriously Janis: so you're gonna be in a mood now, for what Jimmy: for what? Jimmy: are you serious? Janis: I told you why I was looking at his shit, why do you have an issue with that? Jimmy: you weren't gonna say nowt til I caught you at it Jimmy: how's that to start with? Janis: don't make it sound like something it ain't Janis: it's irrelevant as long as he's not showing up, that's why Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: you being glued to your screen ain't irrelevant Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I'm not glued to my screen Jimmy: not now, dickhead Janis: oh, you want me to be loving this convo more Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: wow, please tell me more Janis: 😍 Jimmy: go back to working out where he is Jimmy: never seen you care so much about owt else Janis: because I don't want to fucking see him Jimmy: check out his socials a bit harder while you're saying that Jimmy: see if you can really take the piss Janis: [walking off from wherever they're currently situated] Janis: fuck this then Jimmy: Great talk, babe Janis: don't talk to me then Janis: and don't fucking babe me Janis: as bad as that lot now Jimmy: Yeah I got the message that you don't wanna 🗨 Jimmy: could always block me like you ain't done him Janis: What do you want me to say then Janis: 'cos you ain't listened to fuck all I have Jimmy: I heard you Janis: don't believe me then Jimmy: you easy could've said to me, check he ain't coming Janis: why would I when I can do it myself and not bother you Jimmy: you don't wanna see him, there's a reason Janis: he's a prick? Jimmy: is that a question? Janis: hardly Jimmy: you think I can't handle him or what? Janis: Obviously not Janis: you did, didn't you Jimmy: what then? Janis: it didn't make any sense to me to have you thinking about him and if he might come and all Janis: that's it Jimmy: like I weren't Janis: well that can't be put on me Janis: or do, whatever Jimmy: I give a shit about what you do and don't want Jimmy: do what you want with that Janis: then believe me when I say I don't want him Jimmy: Alright Janis: is it or not Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: come back Janis: not yet Jimmy: please Janis: don't do that Jimmy: I'm sorry Janis: it's fine Janis: whatever Jimmy: it's not Janis: I just need Janis: some fresh air Jimmy: I get it, everyone's doing my head in but you Jimmy: I didn't mean to do yours in an' all Janis: you mean 'til you caught me hoeing I weren't Janis: are you alright? Jimmy: I mean you weren't, that's why I said it Jimmy: you're not Jimmy: I were doing my own head in about that dickhead, you did nowt Janis: we can count him as a no-show, anyway Janis: not stalking him in vain Jimmy: yeah Janis: don't make me sound as cliche to say he ain't worth the mental energy Jimmy: don't make me sound as cliche as some dickhead who's only bothered by a bigger dickhead Janis: he's just some dickhead Janis: this town is full of 'em Jimmy: like I said Jimmy: ain't got the 🎻🎻 out for him Janis: well I don't need it, tah Jimmy: not playing you a song either, girl Janis: yeah, I noticed you didn't answer my question Jimmy: probably don't need answering then Janis: your mood is obvious, obvs Janis: you could give me a why Jimmy: I did Jimmy: I said everyone's doing my head in Janis: yeah Janis: beyond the obvious everyone and their standard annoying bullshit or Jimmy: depends Janis: depends on what Jimmy: what else you've noticed Jimmy: I dunno what's obvious to you or what bullshit you reckon is my standard Janis: 🔎🔎 Janis: that'd be telling Jimmy: there you go then Janis: take some of their drink Janis: doing them and us a favour Jimmy: 👍 Janis: it'll make you feel better Jimmy: weren't arguing Jimmy: no need to convince me, mate Janis: it's my calling Jimmy: don't give up 🏃 Janis: most people hear have heard the good word Janis: then some, state of 'em Jimmy: but have they heard Bill's? Janis: it's his 🌍 babe Janis: we're all just players Jimmy: I know Jimmy: I'm already a fan Janis: hipster scum Jimmy: it's my calling Janis: 😏 Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: good idea too Janis: don't need to tell you that though Jimmy: just did Janis: do plenty of things I don't need to Jimmy: you wanting a 🏆 for that or what? Janis: you wanted me to come back a second ago, dickhead Jimmy: I still want you to come back Janis: then don't sass me Janis: you are well becoming one of them Jimmy: saying that ain't gonna stop me wanting you back Jimmy: however many times you compare me to them slags Janis: shout it again so I know it's real? Jimmy: [does] Janis: [comes back from wherever she was, not that far away like 👏] Jimmy: [just looking at her like he hasn't seen her for a thousand years] Janis: [just coming over and hugging him in a way that is clearly genuine] Jimmy: [hugging her back really tightly even if he has to put that stolen vodka down to do it] Janis: ['I just want you too, alright'] Jimmy: [when you gotta kiss her because overwhelmed by emotions because we only got that cheating ex is our past no ride or die and no crying at the festival boy] Janis: [we just always kissing so we can't admit the obvious right now god bless] Jimmy: [both of you acting like you're shit with words but we know the truth is you're scared to say anything too hardcore because you're not shit with words at all] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [just not letting her go cos you're a clingy bitch] Janis: [doing that thing where you're backwards and just let him walk you around as one to cheer him] Jimmy: [feeding her some vodka because why let her do it herself when you can and make it a moment] Janis: [#aboutit even if you gotta be like 😏 'you trying to get me drunk?'] Jimmy: ['not much of a challenge that' forever calling her a pisshead and/or lighweight but smiling] Janis: ['wrong twin' and an OTT pissed off face whilst you return the vodka favour] Jimmy: [loling don't choke boy] Janis: ['I don't find it funny, thank you very much' but not actually mad] Jimmy: [tickling her to try and make her laugh too] Janis: [tryna escape but not that hard moment] Jimmy: [you know he's gotta make it hot and pin her up against something soz not soz] Janis: [when those #mems hit and you're 😳] Jimmy: [telling her you missed her even though she was only gone for a hot sec cos you're highkey] Janis: ['you are such a headfuck' followed by the most torturously slow kiss ever 'cos this whole situation got you like] Jimmy: [SUCH a noise because torture is right] Janis: [going at it like you're mad at him] Jimmy: [enjoy it cos we gonna make all that Asia drama happen soon] Janis: [oh Asia you fool, I like to think the people who's tent you're in don't even know that you're there like they're just chilling with a BBQ or whatever] Jimmy: [same though] Janis: [but your mans clearly thinks you're cheating on him so you getting dumped, poor hoe] Jimmy: [Mia and Ella would have totally encouraged him to believe that] Janis: [gotta let them have some victories, sadly] Jimmy: [I do love what a shit time you anorexic gays are clearly having though] Janis: [yes, overall this has been worth it, not that JJ are gonna care about that once we fuck this all up with community service girl but still] Jimmy: [soz lads] Janis: [hohaha it works out in the end so got to be done] Jimmy: [you gotta be pushed or you'll be fwb until you're like 23] Janis: [and there are babies to be had just you wait lmao] Jimmy: [beautiful af babies] Janis: [but for today, Asia drama pops off] Jimmy: [when he's gonna be worried cos he's a good boy not because he's 😍 thank you gals] Janis: [the level of 👀 they'll all be] Jimmy: [like soz he's triggered by her just disappearing shut your mouths ladies] Janis: [all be looking and shouting and pissing people off who are tryna kip probably like be those hoes] Jimmy: [how drunk the flat whites are I can't even] Janis: [Janis like 'I'll stay here in case she comes back' 'cos cannot be seen with them/does not care about Asia we all know lol] Jimmy: [when you don't wanna be separated but you have to go look because the squad can't be trusted to do fuck all rn] Janis: Godspeed Jimmy: Tah Janis: don't let lizard boy get in a punch up Janis: 'less you're gonna film it for me Jimmy: he couldn't throw a punch if you 💰 him, rich girl Jimmy: but if some dickhead gives him a smack, I'll obvs get my 📷 out Janis: maybe I will Janis: make it worth him coming down Jimmy: 👍 Janis: what's 👎 Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: what do you mean Jimmy: what I said Janis: are you actually worried about her Jimmy: shut up Janis: fuck off telling me to shut up Janis: you know she's just carrying on the party somewhere else Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: fine Janis: be a dick Jimmy: lasses first Janis: what, 'cos I'm not gonna freak out over wherever Asia is sucking dick and getting more white-girl wasted Jimmy: just leave it out Janis: have fun with that then Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: had no idea you were such an amateur Jimmy: Piss off Janis: really Janis: see if Mia needs anything whilst you're at it, like Jimmy: yeah alright Janis: 👌 Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: if you're lucky Janis: depends if you're personally gonna check every tent Jimmy: stop being a dickhead Janis: I'm not, you're being a mug Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: idc, and you clearly love it Jimmy: obvs Jimmy: living laughing loving, me Jimmy: having a top time with my #lad BFF Janis: you fit right in, how many times can I say it Jimmy: as many times as you like Jimmy: wouldn't wanna piss on your parade Janis: yeah Janis: so considerate and caring Jimmy: I get it, you're gutted I'm not a massive bastard Jimmy: bit busy rn but I'll dry your eyes when I get back Janis: 'cos that makes sense Janis: don't bother, I don't need you Jimmy: don't bother to start talking sense now, you've been going on ages without any Janis: if you're so busy, then you don't have time to come at me with all this bullshit Jimmy: too right Jimmy: nowt left that needs to be said any road, you've well covered it Janis: yep Janis: go away now Jimmy: [does for ages because obvs they don't find Asia til the AM/way later we know and her bf is fuming and there's DRAMA and nobody notices that Jimothy is struggling with all this] Janis: [when you've just been here alone with nothing to do and no updates so you're casually fuming at all this] Jimmy: [just goes back into their tent because bye everyone he's so over y'all] Janis: [just lowkey shouting at them all to stfu with this bullshit now so he can get some peace] Jimmy: [get in your tent and sleep it off you hot messes] Janis: [just sat outside 'cos you aren't about to go in either tent like thanks so much for this gals] Jimmy: [just throwing a hoodie or whatever at her through the tent flap cos you know she's out there and it's been raining] Janis: [tapping the tent to say thanks 'cos you aren't gonna actually say it] Jimmy: [when you know they just sat on either side of this tent opening so casually how romeo and juliet of you] Janis: [the accidental drama of it all] Jimmy: [get drunker yourself boy that'll help SO MUCH honestly] Janis: [oh no no] Jimmy: [full of good ideas jimothy is] Janis: [when you just wanna go so bad but can't 'cos Asia's fucked that for you] Jimmy: [Oh Asia] Janis: [just picking up the shit they left outside and fucking it up/throwing it/losing it] Jimmy: [I don't blame you babe, go off] Janis: [gotta do something yo] Jimmy: [I'm just gonna leave him in here marding, much less productive] Janis: I'm going for a walk alright Jimmy: Alright Janis: you need anything? Jimmy: Like what? Janis: Shoes, is a good one Janis: more bottles, less likely but maybe Jimmy: I don't need owt off you Janis: alright Janis: your loss Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: have my 😭 when you've gone Janis: no thanks Jimmy: on you go then Janis: weren't waiting on your permission Jimmy: weren't giving it Janis: just keep the search party away and it doesn't matter either way Jimmy: not your bodyguard Jimmy: or theirs Janis: yeah sure Jimmy: meaning what? Janis: meaning tell yourself that then Jimmy: fuck you Janis: wow Jimmy: find someone else to take the piss out of while you're out and about Janis: I'm not the one that's taking the piss out of you Jimmy: bollocks Janis: No, not bollocks Janis: have I had you running 'round this entire place after me Janis: no Jimmy: I'd go looking for you whether or not you reckon it makes me a twat Janis: it makes you a twat for them Jimmy: she's an fucking idiot Jimmy: not gonna just leave her Janis: She's managed to keep herself alive just fine 'til now Janis: how is it your job Jimmy: what so I'm a knobhead when I'm not on the clock? Jimmy: tah Janis: oh whatever Janis: I can't be bothered with this Jimmy: Why do you care if I look for her for a bit or not? Janis: I don't Janis: the question is why do you care Jimmy: It's what we're here for, for a start Jimmy: fake nice Jimmy: not that you can be bothered Janis: bullshit Janis: it's not fake, and even if it were, they're all too plastered to care or remember Jimmy: And what? Jimmy: You're jealous of her now Janis: get real Jimmy: you Janis: I am Janis: and I told you, this whole nice guy thing Janis: can't be bothered Jimmy: her boyfriend's at a loose end, crack on Jimmy: he's well more your type Janis: yeah you wish Jimmy: weren't a request Jimmy: I'm actually alright for threesomes as it goes Janis: and I'm alright without them or any of their sloppy seconds so piss off Jimmy: night then Janis: good chat Jimmy: won't get any 🏆 or owt but whatever Janis: I'll cope Jimmy: I'll live an' all Jimmy: 💔 to hear it, I know Janis: yeah Janis: 'cos if you ain't a 👼 you're that dick Janis: no inbetween Jimmy: it's you who's trying to shove a label on my head, when you ain't chucking me in a reusable coffee cup with them that is Janis: What are you trying to prove Jimmy: What are you on about? Jimmy: she's gone, I had a look for her 'cause her mates are too pissed, nowt else Janis: 👌 Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: just go to bed Jimmy: you ain't put any more work into being my step mum Jimmy: let that dream 💀💀💀 Janet Janis: You're so funny Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt Janis: 🤐 then Jimmy: piss off with telling me what to do Janis: you're annoying Jimmy: yeah and you being a dickhead'll stop me Jimmy: good one Janis: what will Janis: seriously Jimmy: [stops replying like fine if that's how you want it seriously] Janis: [let's give you both a break] Jimmy: [we should say it's later and he's drunker and he's wandering around looking for her but in a more chill way than the flatwhites earlier so we're not waking half the campsite] Janis: [whereas she has been 'cos AM so nowt still officially on but people carrying on so she can be coming back] Jimmy: [awkwardly bumping into each other like] Janis: [literally 'cos can't straight up ignore him so just looking like oh, it's you] Jimmy: [looking at her like where the fuck have you been cos will never say it] Janis: ['I can't sit still'] Jimmy: ['I can't sleep'] Janis: ['why?'] Jimmy: [shrugs because so many reasons] Janis: [nods like #relatable] Jimmy: [nods like okay now I know you're alright I'll fuck off] Janis: [just looking at him like seriously 'this is stupid now'] Jimmy: [looking at her like it's been stupid this whole time] Janis: [walking alongside him like where are we going then 'cos you aren't just leaving] Jimmy: [god knows where they are actually going but he's sneaking looks at her with every step honey] Janis: [if you see it's 'cos you are too so can't say anything] Jimmy: ['I don't get why you're fuming at me' cos drunk enough we can just say it] Janis: [when you didn't take a bottle so you aren't at that level so you're more awkward but like alright, we're doing this, shrugs 'cos doesn't fully get it herself that's the tea 'I don't get what you really want'] Jimmy: ['from what?'] Janis: ['from-' gestures at herself then around them '-any of this, all of it, I knew, and then it changed, then I thought I knew again but then you do something or say something and I'm back at the start'] Jimmy: ['what did I do or say?'] Janis: [a look like, loads of stuff 'I've got to remind you?' and tapping his head and then the bottle like pisshead] Jimmy: ['I just mean-' stopping himself cos do you even know what you mean rn] Janis: [a sigh like fuck it, why not, 'cos he might not remember and tbh over the weirdness and tension so may as well 'you say you want me but then you trail after her for ages' shrugs 'we could've had fun instead'] Jimmy: ['it weren't like that' trying so hard not to owt all his secrets rn casually 'she could've been any of 'em' shakes his head at himself like he's remembering who they actually are 'except Mia, fuck her'] Janis: [lil 😏 but not committing to it 'cos still too awks and gah on this 'I know, do I have to be fair and logical about it though? Not good like you, fuck her'] Jimmy: ['I weren't thinking proper about it, you know what I'm like, full Shakespearean tragedy or nowt' shrugs like it's all such bants and it's so fine but he's obvs worried] Janis: ['You're just a nice person' shrugs like obviously, we're not here to debate that 'but-' making an actual ugh noise out loud 'cos can't believe you thinking like this, never mind saying it '-you say it's different with me, yeah? But you'd do that for anyone, and you just lump me in with them, like, how is it different...' looking away 'cos so mad at yourself and shamed] Jimmy: ['I've never lumped you in with them, that were you doing it to me' stops and looks at her 'you are different, from every other paddy dickhead I've met and a fair few northern ones an' all, I'm not just looking for you 'cause you're lost, I wanna be around you loads and I don't wanna be around anyone, even do my own head in, don't I?'] Janis: [not kissing him even though you (clearly) really, really want to, because you've been doing that when you're stopping yourself from saying what you want to but you're finally getting somewhere here and it doesn't feel shit, trying to actually say something in response though, is difficult 'cos OVERWHELMED 'I like you too'] Jimmy: [100% is 😳 and he's so white we all see it okay] Janis: [when he's so cute you gotta at least hug him 'so can we-' pausing 'cos about to say 'go back to how we were' but that's not exactly what you want so you're like umm '- you know, go back to our tent now?'] Jimmy: [hugging her back so hard like don't hurt yourself boy you're still not healed thank you 'we can do owt you want' sounds so casual but he's never meant anything more] Janis: ['I just wanna be with you, as long as it's alone, I don't care where'] Jimmy: [we handholding back to that tent because I don't think we can guarantee alone anywhere else] Janis: [we buzzing but we got some stuff we gotta say still so 'I'm sorry, you know, I was taking the piss a bit'] Jimmy: ['me an' all' because he is also sorry and was also taking the piss 'it does my head in like nowt else, fighting with you'] Janis: ['yeah' 'cos hard same 'it's just how I am with everyone else, it's easier to me than-' when you don't know what this is so we're just trailing off here '- but easier doesn't mean not shit'] Jimmy: ['I get it, all that nice lad bollocks, I get paid for it or get forced into it 'cause I don't want them turning into massive dickheads, like he is, and how I am, off the clock' when you just ranting about your fam casually now 'but I'm still doing the wrong thing for trying to get it right for myself for a bit' shrugs like so what can I do] Janis: [just letting him and listening because you can just about catch up to what he's saying here 'well, we don't have to spend no more time with this lot now and you don't have to fake nice to me, is that a start for some time just for you?'] Jimmy: [holds out the hand she's not holding like pinky promise me gal 'I ain't been faking nowt with you for ages' because tea that we can drunkenly spill] Janis: [does 'this shit is over' gestures towards their tents 'cos we can all see the squad turning to shit without you two needing to be involved 'good, 'cos I'd call you a liar if you said otherwise, I'd know if you were faking that, tah'] Jimmy: [the new dawn new day is gonna be messy for that lot we know 'will piss on their tent for you before we proper draw that line, if you like' because remember when she said he should] Janis: [lols 'so romantic'] Jimmy: [😍 which would seem so fake after she's said that but it's for the lol and how fucking cute she is] Janis: ['not gonna tell you where or where you can't piss, not that kinda fake girlfriend' 😏 'anyway I wrecked loads of their shit earlier so' shrugs like no room to talk] Jimmy: ['I were about to ask what kind you were, but that answers that' 😏 gives her the 🚬 from behind his ear like you a bad bitch I see] Janis: ['you've asked me that one before, only on special occasions, alright' loling again 'where are your sunglasses, like?'] Jimmy: [touches the top of his head like a nerd like nope they not there, looks down to see if they're on his top and pats his pockets, doing a more and more pouty face the longer the search goes on and he doesn't 'find' them] Janis: ['how do I even know it's the real you, honestly' then gasps dramatically like OMG 'Jamie?!' and being so 😍] Jimmy: [lols 'top news that some good'll come out of how our kid is probably scratching knobhead into 'em with her compass instead of doing her maths'] Janis: ['it's a look, sure you can style it out'] Jimmy: ['duh' in such a flat white voice] Janis: [shudders like #triggered 'don't, they're finally asleep and not annoying me'] Jimmy: [pretends like he's gonna shout slags but only whispers it cos doesn't want them to wake up either] Janis: ['far as dirty talk goes...' but is 😍 can't lie] Jimmy: [gets his empty bottle from earlier and spins it then kisses her really hardcore like it's a pisstake of how the flatwhites hook up but also a shameless excuse] Janis: [have at it kids, you've been waiting for ages by your standards] Jimmy: [I wanna volunteer that this is the first time he calls her baby not as a pisstake because drunk enough that he accidentally could do] Janis: [yas, here for that] Jimmy: [we crossing lines today] Janis: [and it feels so good] Jimmy: [mhmm] Janis: [step back homewrecker] Jimmy: [I'm so mad at her like yeah he's hot af but who do you think you are, this is not a James and Ava situation thank you] Janis: [lucky you ain't getting brawled tbh] Jimmy: [would love that] Janis: [we tryna be mature and show our feels in a better way though, tragically] Jimmy: [she isn't worth it anyways lbr like he's not even interested] Janis: [and they'll be done with community service soon they wouldn't have got that long so bye] Jimmy: [let the door hit you on your way out] Jimmy: [imagine their cute little disorientated sleepy faces though and how snuggled they'd be] Janis: [getting woken up by shouting is so confusing like 'scuse me hello???] Jimmy: [and once again lowkey triggering for my soft son] Janis: [we just staying snuggled 'til we work out what's going on and even then we ain't getting involved honey, just making a face like, called that] Jimmy: ['I've changed my mind, don't bother fucking him' we joking but we're also not because the voice is soft] Janis: [pushing his body with yours from a sleeping position, so also gently 'no scaly #kinkunlocked, idiot'] Jimmy: [pulling her closer again nbd] Janis: ['poor boy though, don't think it's even a record of shortest relationship for her' snuggling in harder without thinking about it 'cos they being so loud about their 💔 rn] Jimmy: [stroking her hair because it's comforting for them both 'do you wanna go get breakfast?' tea makes everything better that's facts] Janis: [#facts, nods 'they'll need to keep their energy up and all' 'cos remembering to be fake nice more whilst you're still here also the idea of throwing a sandwich at them like there you are is amusing her greatly] Jimmy: [we'll never know what amazing shade he was gonna reply with because a massive yawn instead cos you know they ain't had hardly any sleep] Janis: [Awh'ing at him, genuinely, and closing his eyes with her fingers like go back to sleep 'I'll find some earplugs for you, sleepy baby'] Jimmy: [holding onto her like DON'T GO without thinking about it] Janis: [is not going, just looking at him 'you shouldn't be allowed to look like that in the morning'] Jimmy: ['gotta keep up with you, girl' morning 😍] Janis: ['you don't have to try' the multiple meanings, love that] Jimmy: [does an IRL 🤏 like I do a bit] Janis: ['but I'm SUCH an athlete' 😏] Jimmy: ['help me up then' cos determined to get tea but would need help up cos those tricky ribs sleeping on the ground isn't really the one] Janis: [not to mention all the extra activities y'all have been getting up to on the ground, but helps him up, lol at them just scooting past like don't mind us you two] Jimmy: [god imagine, at least you can pretend you're wincing at that scene and the drama boy] Janis: [obvs notices 'you need another massage' looks about as they walking 'they probably have a tent here, like' 'cos the random hippie crap they do at festivals now be wild] Jimmy: [yeah even at small local ones like you know this is, the gimmicks be cray 'depends'] Janis: ['go on'] Jimmy: [draws two lines on her back like are you keeping a tally of how many I'll owe you or not] Janis: [shakes her head like nah 'I don't need nothing, besides, basically helping me with my homework so'] Jimmy: [draws the 🤓 in the same place but under whatever top she's wearing rn so it's against skin because harder to work out what he's drawing that's his excuse anyway lol] Janis: [has no idea what that was, the confusion and lol like boy what but also being like 'do it again' 'cos you want him to heheheh] Jimmy: [obvs does do it again slower like let's make this a moment] Janis: [so faux offended when she works it out 'shut up, I just like touching you'] Jimmy: ['gutted how I'd rate you don't actually count for nowt' cos she'd get that A+ honey] Janis: ['well you can tell Mr Joyce how good I am if you want but he'll just swear up and down he's NEVER made us massage each other for our mark, like'] Jimmy: ['til Mr Lucas comes through with the hours of footage, dickhead can't deny it then'] Janis: [loling 'dread to think what they have you do for art, babe'] Jimmy: ['yeah it's a proper laugh a minute, like' making a face because lord the bollocks he would have to do all jokes aside] Janis: ['he is an excellent life model though, be fair' the fakest wistful 😍 for Mr Lucas] Jimmy: ['that'll be why my dad put that one on the fridge' what a lovely mental image 'nowt to do with my talents'] Janis: [loling 'I'll try not to be offended he don't wanna look at me every day instead'] Jimmy: ['he does but can't be letting our kid get inspired by you an' all' mimes drawing a moustache and some devil horns on her even though we know Cass would probably do worse 'you're my muse' casually saying that like you're mine, we know] Janis: ['fair' 'cos we get it, dealt with a lot of siblings and a lot of siblings gf/bfs but not and never dealing with that so we coming at it with bants 'how much do muses get paid then, 50, 60?'] Jimmy: [IRL 🤔 winnie like he's so seriously considering for ages but then shrugs 'I gotta stay poor and you gotta stay rich' when you just saying you gonna give her all your money bye] Janis: ['gotta stay on brand, I get it' looking at the food trucks and tents like 🤔 Winnie herself 'they'll all bankrupt ya but may as well enjoy it'] Jimmy: [just 😍 so hard what is she even saying he don't know] Janis: [squishing his face like focus boy but you ain't mad, just getting in people's way, again, at least most people won't be up until the music starts again] Jimmy: [we know you there somewhere though with your coffee and your camera, community service gal] Janis: [ugh, have a tea you scumbag] Jimmy: [that's how you know they ain't #fated] Janis: [mhmm, she'd probably put the milk in first] Jimmy: [they only gonna talk about 📷 when they do see her cos only thing they have in common and all he's bothered about hearing from her] Janis: [like take a hint, it's not what you think it is, are you a flat white] Jimmy: [like I'M SORRY even when he's talking to you he's gonna be touching the bae so much unless she literally leaves, get a grip] Janis: [it's shameless, have you even talked to Janis or tried to] Jimmy: [blatantly scared of her aren't you babe] Janis: [like she hate you now but you know, not without reason, she'd definitely wanna leave but would probably stand her ground 'cos why should you just get to talk to him, be polite, madam, you can't] Jimmy: [1. even Grace was more subtle when she was leaving half the shit she owns at the CG 2.he don't wanna talk to you hun he don't wanna talk to anyone but her so excuse you 3. he blatantly would make NO indication that he wants Janis to leave hence holding her hand still/touching her all the time without even being aware of it really and like showing her the pics too/trying to include her in the convo like I should take a pic of you like this etc] Janis: [seriously, like this is so awkward and it's all your fault, probably in community service 'cos some girl scrapped with you 'cos you tryna steal her man] Jimmy: [go and hoe on pete he'd be about it, except don't cos he's too good for you too] Janis: [my boo says stay away, we aren't having you in the squad honey] Jimmy: [I like to think she finally makes her excuses/has some friends to get back to but like I said we all been knew she gonna try and chat to him in his DMs and get him to hang with them all later like a snek] Janis: [mhmm, we see you, hoe, also thanks for making this so awks now] Jimmy: [Jimothy just like 'bit weird she were here' cos boys are oblivious] Janis: ['is it?'] Jimmy: [a look like umm yeah? because he genuinely thinks it's a coincidence, oh boy] Janis: [shrugs 'small world, smaller town'] Jimmy: [shrugs back because he's already forgotten her and that's the tea, casually heading back to see what state the flat white drama has reached] Janis: [meanwhile we'll just be angsting don't mind us] Jimmy: [when you know she's quiet and it's different but you think she just doesn't wanna see the flat whites and is tired like you are so you just squeeze her hand like it's okay] Janis: [just the fakest smile, one that looks like a grimace, they're probably at the comforting stage so leave them to be extra about it, breathing out like 'thank fuck' Jimmy: [I like to think Grace shoots Janis a tiny look that nobody else sees like please kill me because so over it 5eva] Janis: [just 😏 and silently like good luck with that] Jimmy: [please can we say that when jimothy and community service girl cross paths again later Grace sees them and 'accidentally' does something to fuck with her like spill a drink on her/her camera whatever cos she's that clumsy bitch but she's also jj's biggest shipper on the low and it's never gonna get back to Janis but #defense squad regardless] Janis: [100% here for that] Jimmy: [she's a hoe and she 👀 you gal] Janis: [when you're that unsubtle] Jimmy: [for now though enjoy Asia crying too loud guys] Janis: [just having your breakfast in your tent like isn't this fun lmao] Jimmy: [getting his headphones and giving her one cos he's put on songs he knows she like because a babe] Janis: [literally anything over the sound of that lot] Jimmy: [you know they wireless cos it's the future so he doesn't have to sit as close as he is] Janis: [just looking at him silently saying as much but turning it into #bants like you think he's tryna steal your food like get off] Jimmy: [does steal some cos that bitch and it's all #bants and we're all fine] Janis: ['fat bitch' in a flat white impression] Jimmy: [dramatic OTT 😱] Jimmy: stop trying to make me 😭 an' all Jimmy: be rude to take the 🏆 Janis: they're pros at 😭 if nothing else Janis: don't be so cocky Jimmy: and I'm not? Jimmy: had the 🎻🎻 out when I came out my mum, ain't stopped since, tah Janis: that's 'cos you're the first child Jimmy: she weren't chuffed about none of us Jimmy: not special, me Janis: still, you get away with more by default Janis: even if it's just 'cos they're green Jimmy: yeah get away with loads Jimmy: be why I'm in community service Janis: amateur Janis: if you turned on the waterworks, might not have happened Jimmy: that's on Bill's 👻 only floating about when I don't need him Jimmy: your fault an' all though, meant to be #inspiring Janis: yeah well, you're welcome Jimmy: when you're not tucking into any grub, might be Janis: now you're calling me fat? Janis: get your own insults Jimmy: calling you territorial if owt 😾 Janis: you got your own, dickhead Jimmy: maybe I like yours better Jimmy: [a LOOK] Janis: [😳] Janis: shut up 🙄😏 Jimmy: [does the whole what charade like he can't hear her even though they are typing] Janis: [🖕] Janis: not getting 'round me that easy Jimmy: it's alright, not scared of hard work, as well you know Janis: yeah yeah Janis: ⌚💕 Jimmy: [throws something at her but like a pillow because he's like be nice to me not fight me] Janis: [😒 'oi!'] Jimmy: ['Oi you' but softer] Janis: [taking said pillow and laying down like I'm exhausted, 'scuse me, which is true but you just can't] Jimmy: [you 100% know he's gonna lay down and spoon her like okay then] Janis: [allowing it 'cos you want it and you're trying not to let a hoe ruin shit for you 'cos ultimately you ruin things for yourself if that ain't a mood and you're just fighting all your instincts to not rn] Jimmy: [just having that moment even though we know it's not comfy for you on the ground because you wanna snuggle her more than you care about yourself] Janis: [and we know neither of you is sleeping but this beats interacting with the flatwhites at least] Jimmy: [you can blatantly hear his heartbeat in between songs gal you know he's not] Janis: [turning to look at him and frowning 'cos he looks as uncomfortable as he is 'you need your massage now' and putting him on his back] Jimmy: [shamelessly so into it when she's doing power moves like that] Janis: [when this keeps your hands and mind busy so you can just get into it and forget about that hoe for a hot sec and try to make him feel better] Jimmy: ['it weren't this bad before' when you've accidentally outted that this isn't the first time this has happened so you're like hope she's focused enough to not question me] Janis: [when he would've tensed when he realized what he'd said so you definitely took notice, as if you weren't anyway, but it does give you indication to not freak out, again, as if you would 'you probably had fractures and injuries, but smaller, repeat injuries in the same place lead to smaller cracks making bigger breaks and giving you longer healing time overall' shrugging like it's that casual 'plus, you're well old now, yeah? muscle and bone don't repair like it used to, granddad'] Jimmy: ['One foot in the grave, me, just waiting for you to get in' because we can always hide behind #bants] Janis: ['no pressure, like' shaking her head like 😏 'worse than a proposal'] Jimmy: ['might be worse than the proposal they pissed on, give you that, Jules' saying that like you're gonna do a better one] Janis: ['be serious, if you distract me I might break another bone and fuck taking the blame for someone else's handiwork and all'] Jimmy: 'Alright, well that there's a seriously good angle for you' mhmm on top of you we know what you're saying and mimes a 📷 like he's taking a pic of her cos that's his handiwork] Janis: [when you're into it and wanna be more into it but 📷 triggers you so you gotta brush him off like oh please 'I'm a professional'] Jimmy: [when you're gonna agree/give her another compliment but you don't have to say anything because a NOISE happens instead because that's how good she is at this] Janis: ['even when you make that very hard' 'cos fuuuck boy 😍] Jimmy: [giving her a LOOK because she's making it very hard for him to even function rn on every level] Janis: ['you deserve it' whispering this when you're inches from his face 'cos massaging his neck and shoulders] Jimmy: ['because?' also whispering and leaning in even more] Janis: ['because...' getting so close that when you talk, your lips touch his and he can feel how hard you're breathing and the heat 'you know exactly what you do to me'] Jimmy: ['because I need you' cos he's not said that yet and we know it's the truest thing and we're all dying because he's as close rn still cos there's never any chill] Janis: [such a noise 'cos not what you were expecting him to say but exactly what you wanted to hear and didn't even know how much that you cannot deal 'if you're lying, I will kill you' Jimmy: ['you'll have to kill me 'cause I'm not' when he's literally saying break my heart bitch idc like he's Peter from all the boys excuse you sir] Janis: ['I won't hurt you' like all the meaning and intention behind that because she hurts everyone else in her life very much on purpose so even to promise to try, bye] Jimmy: [gotta kiss her because we can't even like soz I know we're trying to communicate better but] Janis: [it is needed] Jimmy: [let them have it, they've done loads of meaningful chatting by their standards] Janis: [and the gals should've pissed off to get ready by now] Jimmy: [100% hope they can hear you though because payback is a bitch and so are all y'all] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that] Jimmy: [it's okay we know it's not intentional like the fake dating days you're just loud af] Janis: [same like they better but you two don't need to think about that Janis: [Asia gonna have a meltdown lol] Jimmy: [And Mia cos she only just got rid of the band boys and now she has to be reminded yet again that lads exist other than her father] Janis: [so gutted harry isn't here so you can use him, also omg she's like bffs w matty from skins so she should end up going out with him] Jimmy: [she's the only one gutted he's not here] Janis: [mhmm] Jimmy: [also Grace is the only one who is allowed to be like NOPE over hearing anything cos that's her sister the rest of y'all can calm down] Janis: [like you ain't hoeing when it suits lol] Jimmy: [jj are in LOVE bye] Janis: [we already got one hussy tryna ruin it, y'all can stay in your own tent tah] Jimmy: [oh what a fun tent that would be] Janis: [at least this will probably make your giggle 'cos you're 12, welcome for the mood boost] Jimmy: [honestly grow the fuck up gals] Janis: [immediately like shh Asia, so they can get back to Mia's fave topic, JJ] Jimmy: [Grace just wants to LEAVE RN IMMEDIATELY but she can't cos where would go you even go gal #coffeehunting oh Sammi] Janis: [just put some headphones in, it'll piss off Mia but what doesn't, just means they can bitch literally behind your back knowing you can defs still hear] Jimmy: [100% the mood well enjoy looking a state all of y'all cos Grace is good at makeup for all her many other flaws and she's not gonna do none of yours now soz not soz] Janis: [you know the day #2 looks are not gonna be as popping, we've all been taken down a notch/to reality here] Jimmy: [not that any of you were serving on day 1] Janis: [well no but less glitter and feathers today I feel] Jimmy: [we should say the 🌧 is worse too just to really rub salt in] Janis: [it probably would be, and muddy festival is the vibe for everyone else just not y'all] Jimmy: [like you live in Ireland not Ibiza deal with it] Janis: [you should not be surprised at this point like hellur] Jimmy: [what do we wanna do next?] Janis: [well his phone needs to be blowing up on the sly once they're remotely paying attention to anything else again] Jimmy: [yeah they're probably trying to get a snuggly little nap in as well how rude] Janis: [when his phone always blows up low-key and obvs you've always wanted to know but not your place but I feel like he'd act different somehow from when it's just basic DMs or fam so she's like oh but obvs still saying nothing] Jimmy: [I had the most heartbreaking mental image of him smiling or loling at his phone and I'm like WHAT ARE YOU SAYING YOU HUSSY] Janis: [just like brb need something from their tent like you ever do 'cos gotta go] Jimmy: [when that doesn't strike you as weird because you too busy reading whatever bs this gal is all up in your inbox with boy no] Janis: [asking grace to do your makeup so you've got an excuse to be an age] Jimmy: [when she'd be so ???!! because when does that ever happen but she's not gonna say anything like what's wrong in front of the others] Janis: [we sitting there in silence like mia don't start] Jimmy: [she'd be so annoyed so a big part of Grace would be thinking that's why Janis asked because she did promise she'd annoy Mia whoever she can but she's not stupid so she knows its not just that hence her revenge against community service girl later because even if that's not it, it's not helping and that's her sister you hoe] Janis: [just like well you must be having a great chat, Jimothy, don't even care where I am or what I'm doing, great] Jimmy: [that said I am gonna have him hit her up like ? when it's been ages so I'll do that rn] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: 👍 Janis: party never stops Jimmy: you're still next door then? Janis: yep Janis: 💄💅💇 takes time Jimmy: if you get ✨ in my sleeping bag I'm dumping you Jimmy: you would look 🥇 wearing 🌹 in your hair though Jimmy: proper renaissance verona #aesthetic I reckon Jimmy: Bill will be well chuffed Janis: don't think that's the era we're bringing back here Janis: but yeah, give her your notes Jimmy: 💔 Jimmy: UGH won't bother asking her to do me next Janis: you're not invited Janis: 💔 Jimmy: bit rude Janis: they are Jimmy: but they can't stop me nipping round to borrow a cup of sugar or whatever bollocks good neighbours are supposed to let you have Janis: oh yeah Janis: dead likely to have sugar Janis: ask about carbs whilst you're getting kicked out Jimmy: hair straighteners then Jimmy: the what don't matter Janis: you won't be able to breathe for hairspray Janis: go enjoy the delightful weather Jimmy: how long are you gonna be? Janis: depends Jimmy: on what? Jimmy: how decent the setting spray is? Janis: no, how much you keep chatting Janis: and why do you know what setting spray is Jimmy: I'll call you then, you can put me on speaker Jimmy: and 'cause I've had a girlfriend before Janis: never hear you over them and their 'music' Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: I get it, you're being tortured Jimmy: but I can save you Janis: I won't be that long Janis: no need for heroics or dramatics, boy Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: just every need for you to have Bill turning in his ⚰ with that blasphemy, yeah? Janis: he's your imaginary friend more than he is mine 👻💕 Jimmy: so you don't want custody when we break up? 👻💔 Janis: you're alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [some time] Janis: you good to go? Jimmy: depends Janis: ? Jimmy: 1. where 2. who with 3. what have they done to you Janis: 1. mainstage 2. who do you think and who did you have in mind 3. dramatic, sure she's put a selfie up by now Jimmy: 1. if I have to 2. you and not them 3. stop saying that like it's a bad thing, dickhead Janis: 1. sure you can convince the alternative act in the 2nd tent is gonna be more fun 2. I'll be there and all 3. soz, it's so wonderful I 💗 it Jimmy: alright Janis: 👌 Janis: [squad rolling out, at least you wouldn't have let Grace go cray with your look so you aren't looking a state, not the mood here ty] Jimmy: [she gonna look good Grace knows what she's doing and Jimothy gonna notice so hard bye] Janis: [ah the awks of treating this like a mission like you need to be up front or something like you suddenly care] Jimmy: [the joys of how much he doesn't know what's going on so he's just being their normal] Janis: [oh boy, meanwhile we getting on it hard, like thanks for the drinks, strangers, we do not care] Jimmy: [like that's registering with him but as per he just thinks she's over the flat whites cos hard same for him always] Janis: [it's a good cover honestly] Jimmy: [and we know he's getting on it too because still got that fam drama and guilt that only gets worse the longer he's away] Janis: [we're just partying, this is casual] Jimmy: [I just imagine Grace like 👀 at them both lowkey trying to work out why the vibe's off cos she don't know yet] Janis: [try and be subtle gal, she will not be happy lol] Jimmy: [contrary to popular belief she can do subtle lol] Janis: [the front was a mistake 'cos obvs community service will be there for the photos] Jimmy: [we see you giving him the eye gal even if he hasn't noticed] Janis: [you're 'working' focus] Jimmy: [literally though and more importantly if you're gonna look then see his blatant 😍 for his bae cos she looks good as hell thank you] Janis: [heading out for a piss, like we all know you aren't finding your way back through a crowd for time/if ever] Jimmy: ? Janis: 🚽 Janis: doing it in a bottle and lobbing it isn't an option for the fairer sex Jimmy: 🎻💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy, yeah Jimmy: would've come with you, that is Janis: told you the trick now, you don't need to Janis: keep 🕺🙌🎉 Jimmy: my turn to get tortured now? Janis: don't seem like it Janis: music ain't up to much but you know Janis: all things considered Jimmy: I'd have rather had the contouring done Jimmy: said as much Janis: 🙄 Janis: you don't need contouring, I need a piss Jimmy: what's your sister's problem? Jimmy: keeps 👀 it's weird Janis: fancies you still, obviously Jimmy: so funny you Janis: who's joking Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: she's been all over that dickhead with the 🍕 and 🎸 til a bit ago Janis: so? Janis: 💔 you ain't her one and only Jimmy: obvs yeah Janis: she ain't fussy Jimmy: makes one of us that does Janis: ha Janis: alright Jimmy: Oi Jimmy: I'm well fussy, me Janis: you picked her so not fussy enough it's gonna get in the way Jimmy: what? Janis: what do you mean what Janis: only so many ways to say that Jimmy: What are you saying it for? Jimmy: that were a game and it were ages ago Janis: alright, ignore it then Janis: joke fit Jimmy: Nah, how about you answer me Janis: I did Janis: joke Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🤣👮 Jimmy: alright, shut up Jimmy: that don't make it funnier Janis: gutted Jimmy: 💔💔💔 Janis: such a 🥇 taste in humour, you Jimmy: I'm northern, we're #blessed there's owt at all Janis: meant to give you a sense of humour along with the chip on your shoulder Jimmy: is it? Janis: yep Jimmy: go on and @ my dad with what a disappointment I am there Jimmy: been running a tally for ages Janis: write it down yourself and get a routine going Jimmy: to have no dickhead 🤣? you're alright Jimmy: got that already without putting 🖋 to paper Janis: got your fans Janis: taste not necessary Jimmy: Tah Janis: any time Jimmy: 👍 Janis: less typing more dancing, dickhead Jimmy: I don't have any dickhead to dance with Janis: yeah you do Jimmy: nah Janis: there's a crowd Janis: last I checked Janis: 'less everyone's pissed off Jimmy: 🤞🖤 Janis: yeah Janis: that's the spirit Janis: dance like no one's watching, probably got that on a shirt Jimmy: the tall one 100% has Janis: irony lost on them as well as sarcasm Jimmy: real tragedy that Janis: not as tragic as her dancing Jimmy: nowt could be Janis: not seen my sister;s Janis: don't tell her, she'll be devvo Jimmy: 👀 it now Jimmy: hang on, I'll shout her Janis: go ahead Jimmy: better trained than my 🐕 her Jimmy: comes right when you say her name Janis: fuck off Jimmy: what? Janis: not funny Jimmy: is a bit Jimmy: you'd know if you were here Janis: glad I'm missing out Jimmy: I get it, you must've seen her 😭 loads Janis: duh Jimmy: you've been ages Janis: 🚽👮 now too are we Jimmy: would obvs go towards ✔ my #ultimate kink Janis: recommend the portaloos then Janis: sights and smells 10/10 on that score Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: gotta queue obvs Janis: not the only pervert around Jimmy: just the 🥇 Janis: prove it Jimmy: go on Jimmy: what do you want me to do? Janis: you've got the sick 🧠 Janis: why have I got to think of the task Jimmy: you set the challenge Jimmy: come on, don't be 🙀 Janis: I'm not Jimmy: tell me then Jimmy: ⏲💪🏆 Janis: I dunno Janis: not gonna make you do anything you don't wanna do, am I Jimmy: how do you know I don't wanna? Jimmy: do owt to prove myself, me Jimmy: I ain't scared Janis: well if you do wanna then you can just do it Janis: I cba to facilitate that Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: call me what you want Jimmy: Hey, what's wrong? Jimmy: I'm only pissing about Janis: good for you Janis: I'm fine, bored of this shit Jimmy: we can leave them to it for a bit, when you come back Janis: I'm already back at the tent Jimmy: Alright, hang on Janis: you don't need to Jimmy: Do you not want me to or what? Janis: I'm just going sleep so you may as well stay there Jimmy: that weren't what I asked Janis: stop asking questions Janis: I'm fucked Jimmy: fucked how? Jimmy: that can be the last one Janis: how you think Janis: 🍻🍹🥃 Jimmy: Bollocks Jimmy: you're not Janis: yeah I am Janis: how'd you know Jimmy: we're 🗨 Jimmy: and I've 👀 you pissed before Janis: Autocorrect pretty sound Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll be there in a sec Janis: fine Janis: do what you like Jimmy: Why are you fuming at me? Jimmy: I just wanna check you're alright Janis: yeah, make it sound like an obligation Janis: I said I was going kip, not lying in a pool of my own sick Jimmy: calm down Janis: just stop, alright Jimmy: What, giving a shit about you? Jimmy: No Janis: being so Janis: you know Jimmy: bollocks do I Janis: just stop Jimmy: you Jimmy: stop saying that Jimmy: I haven't done nowt Janis: stop talking Janis: I wanna go to sleep Jimmy: properly talk to me Jimmy: how about that? Janis: No Janis: I've got nothing to say right now Jimmy: why? Jimmy: it don't make sense Janis: if it don't to you that ain't my problem, alright Jimmy: what the fuck does that mean? Janis: that if you're that oblivious then there's nothing I can do about it Jimmy: to what? Janis: now you're just trying to piss me off Jimmy: now you're just being a twat Janis: then leave me alone Jimmy: fuck's sake Janis: if you're so bothered Jimmy: I don't get this Jimmy: you Janis: yeah Jimmy: What kind of answer is that? Jimmy: and you say I'm a headfuck Janis: you expect me to sit and explain myself Jimmy: why not? Janis: 'cos what kind of fucking question is that Jimmy: a valid one Jimmy: what's changed, when the fuck did it? Jimmy: there's some others Janis: I don't want to do this right now Jimmy: me an' all but you come out of their tent and you're a different lass Janis: called a makeover Jimmy: it ain't about what's been put on your face Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: don't fucking tell me to sort my head out Janis: who the fuck are you to Jimmy: Or what? Jimmy: great question though, babe, who the fuck am I? Jimmy: some mug again, do you reckon? Janis: Yeah, or what me too, that'll help Jimmy: Go on, what would? Jimmy: I don't need this bollocks from you Janis: How many times have I told you to leave it and go away Janis: if you don't need it, there's your solution Jimmy: how many times have you said you give a shit? Jimmy: words or no words Jimmy: so we're here for a second go, what's changed? Janis: well you say a lot of shit too Jimmy: is that it? Jimmy: what did I say? Janis: No Janis: you say shit that you then prove you don't actually mean Jimmy: like? Janis: you should know Janis: not make me sit here and fucking spell it out like a twat Jimmy: well I don't Janis: then forget about it Janis: you don't have to say anymore bullshit and I won't believe it Jimmy: if that's what you reckon this is, there's nowt I can say Jimmy: come talk to me when you know what the fuck you want me to try and prove Janis: what I reckon is you say all the shit you say to me but literally moments after we've been together you're more concerned messaging someone else and saying shit to them to notice anything about me Jimmy: ? Jimmy: this is about Becca then Janis: Becca, is it Janis: how would I fucking know Jimmy: you spoke to her this morning, maybe that'd be how Janis: no I fucking didn't Janis: and she's never talked to me either Jimmy: I were there Jimmy: yeah you did and yeah she did Janis: Piss off Jimmy: you Jimmy: all of this is about her? Janis: if you're this stupid, happily Jimmy: it's me being stupid? not a chance, mate Janis: It's incredible you ever get laid if this is how bad you are at taking a hint Jimmy: it's even bloody more so that you still can't get your head round this after we've been over it when you had your two previous strops about her Janis: fuck off Jimmy: yeah I will do Jimmy: 'cause what more can I say or do Janis: Try not being a patronizing cunt in the future Jimmy: what future's that? The one where me and Becca run off into the sunset or? Janis: yeah, keep trying Jimmy: yeah, that's what this is, you putting me on trial for nowt Jimmy: it's such bollocks Janis: it's not Janis: you think and respond how you like Jimmy: fuck responding to any of this Jimmy: Asia's ex boyfriend had a better argument than you're bothered with Janis: yeah well if you want to be as much of a cunt as Asia, do it on your own time Jimmy: nearly there according to you, just swap patronising for owt she can spell Jimmy: thick'll work, you've said that one enough Janis: if it fits, have at it Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hypocrite is a great one and all Janis: two-faced, if you wanna stick with their vernacular Jimmy: 'course I do Jimmy: peas in a pod, us Jimmy: another load of bollocks you've stuck with Janis: show me where you ain't and I'd take it back Jimmy: if you need showing, you're more of a headcase than I gave you earlier credit for Jimmy: and I'll give you another 🏆 for it Janis: you want headcase, you had a fight with Harry, I've not fucking touched her Jimmy: neither have I Jimmy: you gonna pretend you've not touched him? Janis: so as long as there's no touching, it don't count Janis: like it's not a strop when you do it Janis: alright, yeah, go along with those rules, sounds fair Jimmy: it's not a strop when it's your ex Jimmy: she's nowt to me Jimmy: neither's your sister Jimmy: neither's Asia Jimmy: Do you want me to go on or what? Janis: he isn't my ex, actually Janis: and she doesn't intend to stay nothing, just because you've not realized doesn't mean I'll sit here and pretend I ain't so you reckon I'm chill Jimmy: call him what you want Jimmy: and her Janis: whatever Janis: you're a fucking hypocrite Jimmy: you're fucking Janis: you've said enough Janis: I'll read it back and make a list Jimmy: you can crack on with that when you've slept it off Jimmy: won't be about distracting you Janis: yeah I don't plan to stick around either Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: 👍 Jimmy: [well that was a fun time but I don't think there's anything else I can say sadly] Janis: [probably not] Jimmy: [we should 1000% say he gets a lift back with community service girl though cos you know that bitch would offer #keen thank god her friends are also there cos I don't trust you gal] Janis: [yeah she's already hitched a ride in this convo like weren't hanging about, the flat whites will be thrilled] Jimmy: [Grace will be losing her mind] Janis: [soz 'cos we know she's not going home] Jimmy: [literally trying to phone her constantly even though you know she won't answer babe and what are you gonna say if she did anyways] Janis: [fun times] Jimmy: [Cali are gonna be thrilled af] Janis: [like she already weren't coming to the house low-key never mind not coming back to town] Jimmy: [and we said this is near the end of the hols so that makes it worse like school be looming] Janis: [basically] Jimmy: [at least the flatwhites don't know that jj didn't leave together because he's not gonna be hanging around waiting for them to wake up and fill them in on his plans, like Grace will know cos she'll see him with that hoe like we said but she's not telling the squad] Janis: [like you'll know if you get to school and she ain't about but 🤞 lads] Jimmy: [yeah depending how long we drag the angst out but for right now you're still #goals and Mia is fuming about it] Janis: [realistically CS isn't waiting any time to make a move so it wouldn't take long to out] Jimmy: [exactly dr phil and we know they highkey too so] Janis: [bit awks when you gotta be like oh u right but that's the path you chose jimothy] Jimmy: [when you're so focused on the bae that you don't see any other girls trying to get their claws in, oh sir] Janis: [what fun, look forward to that]

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