#. ANYWAYS LOTS GOING ON IN THIS MOMENT *IT'S 9 PM?* JESUS CHRIST

[euclydya]

3 trillion things happening rn. hai

[loudsuitlover]

Doctor Harry XIX. Cuarto movimiento: La realidad

A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Preview

“You take off your clothes.” He whispers. “If you’re brave enough to wear that around me, you should be brave enough to undress yourself in front of me.” He smirks.

My eyebrows raise on my forehead and I give him a little smirk. He chuckles.

“D’you want a show?”

He grins as he nods, resting his back on the couch.

“And what do I get in return?”

“Oh, you’ll find out after the show.”

BLUE’S POV

Coco and I are late. When we enter the café, I tell the waitress Olivia’s name and she leads us to our table. The three of them are already sitting on the table and Ollie smiles relieved at our presence. She might be really hungry or maybe she just doesn’t know what to do about Marie and Jason.

They had a fight the other day. Apparently, it had to do with David Dick. Marie said something bad about it, also known as the truth, but Jason said she shouldn’t be talking about him to people who didn’t even known them. I have stayed out of this. No one has asked for my opinion either, thank God, so I’m just on backstage, waiting for them to make up.

The second Coco and I sit down, Ollie waves the waitress. She tells us we can think what we want while they order but I already know what I want anyway. A strawberry milkshake and the Nutella croissant. Coco orders a waffle and a vanilla milkshake and Marie gets surprised at our quickness. I just smile at her.

I tell them about the wedding while we eat and they keep swooning and making comments that make me blush. I show them the hundreds of pictures we got, for his mum and his cousin Laura had been stealing shots at us and also the photographer of the wedding thought it important to get pictures of the bride’s brother.

“Jesus Christ, he looked good.” Ollie says.

I laugh and she gives me a naughty smile.

“So do you, of course.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“No, seriously, Blue” Coco insists “you looked like a movie star.”

I don’t know how many times Coco’s seen the photos but she’s always been the supportive sister and ever since she’s in love, it’s just been something else. She’s so happy she has enough bliss to give the rest of us.

“Can you believe” Ollie says when she comes back from the loo “that I’ve forgotten to put on knickers?”

“What do you mean you’ve forgotten?” Coco laughs.

“I’m just not wearing any.” She shrugs.

“And you realize now?”

“When I went to the loo.”

Marie shakes her head with a smile and I chuckle at my friend’s careless being.

“Yeah and she would have been terribly late if I hadn’t called her.” Marie says. “It looks like she had a busy night with Mario.”

Olivia smiles.

“Right, because Adam and you were surely asleep at 9 pm.”

Jason laughs out loud.

“So Indie, what time did you go to bed last night?” He wiggles his eyebrows.

“Actually, pretty early. I think it was like 10 pm and I slept alone. In my own bed.”

“Oh, did Harry have work?”

“No” I chuckle “he was home, I guess. We don’t spend every minute together, you know?”

JJ shrugs.

“If I were with a man who could pull off a white fucking suit like Harry, I know I would be with him every minute.”

Then it’s me who shakes my head and laughs.

We haven’t been out all together since last week when we went shopping and even then, Jason wasn’t there so it feels like ages that we don’t just chat around and have something sweet together.

Marie tells us about her grandparent’s golden wedding too and we all drool over the pictures because they look so adorable.

“¡Madre mía, Marie!” My sister says. ��You look so good too! Look at that red dress! Where was the red carpet, madam?”

Marie blushes and giggles and Jason smiles tenderly at my sister. I see the way Olivia’s looking at her, with her teasing smile, and I know Coco’s in for some Olivia jokes.

“Guido must be good.”

Coco’s confused eyes drift to Olivia’s.

“Or have a huge dick.”

My sister clicks her tongue and shakes her head giving our crazy friend a look but she just smiles.

“If it has anything to do with genetics” she starts “that should be the case.”

We all laugh and my sister’s cheeks tinge pink.

“Oh my God, it is!” Jason celebrates.

He seems so happy. He’s been laughing and joking around and even though sometimes he still gets a little into his own head, I reckon he’s gotta have to deal with a lot of thinking these next months. I remember when Javier and I broke up, it was like that for me too. Yet that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

I wish him and Marie would make up. They are good for one another. They complement each other like sweet and sour and I know Marie’s sorry. I can tell by the way she looks at him.

After breakfast, the five of us go shopping. I’m not a big fan of shopping, to be honest, I get headaches and hate trying clothes on but these guys love it so that’s what we’ll do. Coco and Ollie are a very dangerous duo. If it wasn’t for the rest of us, they’d be in debt by now.

They make Jason walk into Agent Provocateur even though he tries to remind us that he’s actually bisexual and can’t really give his opinion on this without getting killed.

“You can keep saying you’re bisexual, you know? But you’re gay, pal.” Olivia says.

“Again, the fact that I am not sexually attracted to you does not make me gay.” Jason smirks.

“No, I know, it’s the fact that you always look at guys.”

“I look at girls too. I just don’t tell you about it.”  

“And who exactly would kill you?” I tease him, changing Olivia’s crusade on making him gay. “Mario and Adam are teddy bears, Guido’s shorter than you and Harry’s not jealous.”

He laughs.

“D’you think Harry wouldn’t mind if I saw you in lingerie?”

“I don’t think so, no.”

Jason smirks. I know it might be hard for him to understand but he is a jealous guy. He knows that, we all do. But Harry isn’t or if he is he handles it like a master and I think that’s the most beautiful thing he could do for me. I never understood why my friends in high school thought when their boyfriends acted like cavemen was something to be happy about. I mean I never really understood that well-trodden thought “he’s jealous because he loves me.” No. “He deals with his own jealousy and lets me be free because he loves me.” That’s how I see it.

“Should we get the same set?” Ollie asks Coco. “You know, in order to surprise the Matteoti brothers.”

My sister blushes and giggles and Olivia grins.

“I hope to God they don’t talk about that to each other.”

Olivia giggles.

“I used to think every man did but I actually think Mario doesn’t.”

“And you’re offended by that?” I offer.

Jason walks towards us swaying his hips like Beyoncé placing a bra over his sweater and the knickers over his jeans and Coco laughs and rushes to his side to stop him. The two of them go to the “funny section” where the crazy lingerie sets are.

I see my sister laughing at whatever it is that crazy Jason is telling her about the outfits.

“No, I just don’t know how he’s still with me.” Ollie says.

I frown as I turn to look at her.

“Hey, guys, do you like these ones?” Marie shows us a red lace crazy knickers with holes where fabric should be.

“I have no idea how you put those on.” Ollie shrugs.

“What do you mean?” I interrupt her.

“I genuinely don’t know with these many holes, it’s-”

“No, I mean about Mario.”

“What about him?” Marie asks.

“She just said she doesn’t know why he’s still with her.”

“What?” Marie frowns.

We both look at Ollie, whose blue-grey eyes are busy with the underwear she’s holding.

“I just don’t know how someone that’s… such a saint can be with me.”

I look at Marie but she just shrugs and gives me her best pursed lips.

“I mean… You guys are very different but that doesn’t mean anything.”

“I like him.” Olivia confesses. “I really do, what I don’t like is to constantly feel like I’m waiting for the moment he realizes he doesn’t want to be with me.”

“Why do you say that?” Marie frowns. “I think it’s rather obvious that he’s crazy about you.”

“Yeah,” Ollie tilts her neck “now.”

“You are wonderful and it might not work out but that’s that. Every single relationship might not work out but that’s when you show you’re brave. If you get hurt, well, here we are for chocolate ice-cream or popcorn and movies.”

“Thank you,” she chuckles “but that’s not even what I meant. You guys know I’ve… Fucked around.”

“So?”

“Guys don’t like to thrust their dicks in a public hole.”

Her words freeze my blood. I hate that she thinks so low of herself and I hate society for putting that idea on her mind. I can’t pretend I understand her and I don’t know what I would think if I were her so as much as I want to tell her that’s silly, it might not be. I mean it certainly isn’t if it’s something she really thinks but also, I feel bad and I feel bad because I have been a part of that thought, unconsciously but I have.

I told Harry I didn’t want to be another notch on his belt. Isn’t that the same thing? Only, with men. But didn’t I somehow make him less worth it just because he had been with a lot of girls?

“Don’t you ever speak that way about yourself again.” Marie threatens her.

I am taken aback by her reaction but I let protective Marie take the lead her. I am foolishly speechless.

“I won’t even comment on how degrading and sexist the “public hole” thing is because what’s important here is that you are not a hole, Ollie, for goodness’ sake. Do you really think Mario sees you like that?”

“This is not about Mario.” Olivia defends him.

“Still, don’t insult him by thinking so little of him.”

“And don’t think so little of yourself either, Ollie.” I add. “Fighting sexism starts with oneself, don’t be sexist to yourself, let yourself be free, yeah? And just for the record, if Mario ever left you, it’s clearly his lost.”

“So clearly.” Marie adds.

Olivia just chuckles and wraps her arms around both our shoulders, pulling us into a hug in the middle of the underwear store.

I want to tell her to talk to Mario, to let him in and let him hear how she feels and what she thinks so he can have a chance at telling her the same things about himself but I couldn’t bring myself to be such a hypocrite. How could I tell my friends to talk to their boyfriends when I never do that with Harry?

I mean, we’re getting better or at least I think we are but there are still so many things to work on. I don’t want to hurt him and that means I don’t ever want to talk to him like I usually do. I’ve been thinking so hard about it, since that day he insulted me when we were having dinner at Bellamond. It sounded so terrible and it made me feel so little and unwanted and stupid so to think that’s how he’s felt every time I’ve done it makes me very angry with myself.

I’ve already seen how easy it really is to talk to him. I did at Marie’s house after I said those terrible things to him and he hasn’t made a big deal of it. So then I don’t understand why it is so hard for me to talk to him about what I think, how I feel and what I want… Because the truth is- I want him. He already knows that, I think, but I don’t think he knows how I really feel about him.

I would like to maybe text him right now and tell him I miss him, because it’s true, I do. I’ve barely seen him this week because he went on a congress from Monday to Wednesday and after that we’ve both been busy but I don’t know what’s holding me back. Am I really that scared of rejection?

I can’t get our fight on Marie’s house of my head. I think he let me know that night that he was addicted to me but he didn’t mean it like a good thing. He was sad that I was. I keep thinking lately… Did Javier really break that much?

What if that relationship has turned me into an abuser? I can’t believe I called Harry a junkie. I just… And then what? Then I cried so he would forgive me? I mean that’s what they do. Am I toxic to him?

I know ever since Dylan died I haven’t really been myself. I don’t even like the person that he left behind. I have felt… Empty and cold and heartless, I really have but… That has changed now. It has changed. But what if it has turned me into some sort of monster? What if I’m not capable of loving?

Out of all the people in the world who doesn’t deserve that, Harry’s the one who least deserves any of that.

“You can tell me.” Jason says.

We’re both sitting down on two velvety armchairs as the girls try things on. I give him a look.

“Whatever is troubling you, you can tell me.”

I sigh.

“Do you think I’m cold?” My eyes investigate his so he can’t lie.

“How do you mean?” His eyes narrow.

“I mean… Do you think… Do I remind you of David?”

“Of David?” He almost stands up from his chair as he frowns and turns to look at me. “You? Of course not! You’re nothing like David!”

“Well, you don’t know the way I treat Harry…”

Jason straightens his back before he sighs.

“Well, why don’t you tell me what you did so I can decide?”

“Because I’m embarrassed.” I shrug.

“You’re sorry, that’s what you are, which means you’re nothing like David.”

“What if I am? It’s not enough with being sorry, is it? The thing is never doing it again and I keep hurting him.”

“How?”

“I… I speak very harshly to him sometimes and I tell him terrible things… I… I don’t want to hurt him, you know? He’s become someone important to me, someone I care about. I would never hurt him and yet I keep doing just that and I don’t even know why.”

I look away from him and Jason sighs again.

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

I tilt my neck to look back at him the moment he quotes The Perks of Being a Wallflower. He’s stern and understanding. I frown, I don’t know what the fuck does that have to do with anything of this but I listen because I love this guy more than I love most people.

“Indie” He reaches for my hand “is it possible that you do that when you feel like he’s getting too close?”

I look away. I don’t think it matters why I do it. I don’t think it would have hurt less that I had known the reason why Javier had me tied up on the bed. And what if the reason doesn’t have a solution? I mean what if the reason is my subconscious is trying to put him away from Dylan’s place? What do I do about that?  

“Indie, I can’t pretend I understand what it’s like to lose somebody you love as much as you loved Dylan-”

“I love Dylan.” I correct him.

“You love Dylan, sorry. But… Dylan… I mean… D’you think he would want you to be lonely?”

I don’t answer him nor do I look into his eyes that investigate me.

“Put on his shoes.” He whispers. “Imagine the story the other way, imagine you were him and he was yourself. What would you want for him?”

I let his words take me to that parallel world sometimes I wished it was the real one. If I had died that night, then Dylan would be here and if angels existed then I would be the one for him and I would look after him and protect him from whatever cloud angels get on the sky. But what if I saw him with another woman? What if I heard the same things he said to me said to her? What if he loved her more than he loved me? What would I be then?

I remember my therapist trying to sow that idea in my head- that we have to let go, that no person can live in the past forever, and that letting go doesn’t mean disrespecting. I wonder where’s the balance, I wonder if someday I’ll be able to find a way to feel good without feeling like I’ve forgotten all about him. But I know what I would want if I had been the one dead that night.

“I would want him to be loved.”

I feel tears on my lacrimal and Jason’s hand wraps around my arm and gently squeezes me.

“I know that’s what he would want to.” He whispers.

“I haven’t been able to go to his grave once.” I whisper. “I think if I could… Talk to him… Maybe let him now, I love him and I always will but… I think I love someone else.”

I hear Jason taking a deep breath and only then I realize what I just said. I tilt my neck so I can see his face. I don’t know what I’m expecting neither do I know why I’m expecting him to judge me. But he just smiles.

“I already knew that. Your face lightens up when he’s around or when someone talks about him. I saw that on Marie’s house the other weekend.”

I take a deep breath and give up. He’s right.

“Don’t worry, it’s the same for him. He treated you like a queen and was always looking after you and I think you guys understand each other pretty well.”

“We understand each other? We fight like cat and dog.”

“The way I see it, you’ve had your misunderstandings but you’ve always figured it out. D’you think any other person would have stick around long enough for you to figure each other out? And I’m not talking just about him, I mean, he’s got some issues too.” He frowns.

I finally chuckle. He does have some issues but they don’t come close to all the other good things he has.

“You know, I’m happy you got him. It makes it easier for me to finally do what I’ve always wanted.” He smiles.

“What is that?”

“The States.”

My mouth shuts. My lips pursed and I want to cry.

“The States? You’re leaving too?”

First Ollie and now him. No, no, no, there’s no way Marie and I are going to overcome this. They can’t leave; he can’t leave. I need him. My pulse accelerates. I never thought I was going to be losing my best friends so fast. He smirks and nods his head.

“I need it, Indie. I didn’t go because of David and he… He treated me like shit throughout the entire relationship and I didn’t lose you guys because you are fucking angels from another planet but I think I just need to go away for some time, figure myself out, do what I want for a change.”

I take a deep breath. I really need to stop being so selfish. I don’t even know how long for he’s planning on leaving but the least thing I can do as a decent friend is to support him not matter what. I’ll miss him, sure, but I won’t lose him just because he goes to another continent. He’d have to change his name and go to a secret location for me to lose him.

“If that’s what you want and what you think you need, I’m all in.” I smile. “I’m gonna fucking miss you but I’m happy that you’re doing your thing. I hope you know, even when you were with David, you never changed the person you really are and I think that says a lot about you. What happened to you was not your fault, it was his, and it could have happened to anyone. God knows we both know how they find the way to get into your mind. but you’ve always been more than what happened to you.”

He frowns despite his smile and I can tell that’s his way to try and hold back the tears. He wipes the ones that scape out before he holds my hand.

“I fucking love you.”

“I love you too.”

“And you call me dramatic but look at what speech you gave for three months that I’m leaving.”

“You’re leaving for three months?” I frown and he laughs. “Then why would you say it like that? I thought you were leaving for good.”

He laughs.

“And miss your wedding and your pregnancy with Harry’s babies? Never.”

“Hey, hop off the horse!” We both chuckle.

“Just be honest with him, Indie.” He tilts his neck. “You’ve got him here” he flexes his fingers to gesture a handful and taps a finger on it “and here” he taps a finger on his chest where his heart is and I smile. “Now, why don’t you get some sexy ass lingerie for him?” He wriggles his eyebrows. “The straight guy in me can help you decide.”

“You’re on.” I smile.

I try on about five of them. The girls are the judges but they all know I’ll end up choosing whatever I like. I never listen to advices when it comes about clothes. I know what I like and what I don’t and that’s that.

I do have a thing for underwear. It’s the only thing I actually enjoy buying so most of my underwear is cute and lace or silk or nice soft cotton but I do get excited at the idea of surprising Harry with something sexier than usual.

Maybe high stockings would do, I could wear a skirt and underneath it some high stockings hooked up to the waist of a lace bodysuit or something like that. I find a black lace one almost see through except from some parts strategically covered with the black flowery pattern, the cut between my legs and my nipples. The straps are silk and from the one around my waist, the two clasps for the stockings fall on my thighs. I love it.

After getting our underwear and going go with JJ to the male section of Gucci and Yves Saint Laurent, we finally sit down on a terrace surrounded by bags and have a drink. I order a Martini because I guess I’m feeling fancy after all and my friends order a sort of fancy cocktail each, except from Coco that goes with a beer. Her and Ollie are the ones who look fancier by far, Marie does too but in a way that lets you know she’s the good girl in the family, whereas Ollie looks like the one who’s always late to family meetings and Coco looks straight out of a magazine and yet there she is with a beer on her hand not caring about the contrast one bit.

In front of the terrace, there’s an Italian restaurant where there are two guys at the door, opening them for the clients. I have caught them staring at me more than once but every time I look the look away. I’m afraid I even have a boob out with all the staring but when I look down I realize I don’t. Jason’s sitting next to me and I wonder whether he’s noticed too or I’m just being paranoid. I look up at them and one of them look to the floor. Jason laughs.

“Geez, they could get a photo.” Jason says.

Alright, I’m not crazy.

“You’ve noticed too?”

“They haven’t taken their eyes off you since you sat down.” He chuckles. “And I’m sitting right here, I could be your boyfriend for all they know.”

Olivia tilts her neck and turns her head around being the blatant bitch she is before she gives me a smile.

“Well, they can keep trying, they’re trying to get in the place of an Armani underwear model.”

I roll my eyes and so does Marie. My eyes drift to her.

“You’re so exaggerated.”

“He could be one.” I defend him.

My friends and sister giggle and I blush but join in. It’s true, he could really be one and I miss him and want to see him.

Ollie’s call coincides with the moment Jason gets up from our table to go to the toilet and Marie gives my sister a smile.

“Coco, how are things with Guido? Are you happy?”

“Oh, I’m very happy.” She smiles. “I’ve never had this before, you know? Knowing my feelings are reciprocated. It just feels great.”

“Oh, I’m happy to hear that. You deserve someone like that.”

“So do you.” I tell Marie. “How’s everything with Adam?”

“He’s a dream.” Marie shakes her head. “I do worry that everything is too good.”

“Why?”

“Well, he’s so gentle and loving and caring… I keep thinking when it is going to end.”

“Why would it end? I mean, obviously there’s always like the first few months where everything is just perfect and all that and after that there’s more comfort and less romanticism but… Don’t worry about that. It’ll come naturally.”

“See? But that’s what I don’t want! I don’t want him to walk in the bathroom while I’m peeing or for him to see me with my hair on a towel and a face mask on.”

Coco giggles.

“Well, maybe not now, but it’ll eventually happen if you guys stay together for long enough.”

She looks away from us and takes a deep breath before she speaks.

“The other day he told me to leave some things at his place.” She all but whispers as if it was some sort of secret. “Well, he got micellar water even though he didn’t know what that was because I told him once that I couldn’t stay over at his house because I didn’t have my micellar water to wash my face.”

“Aw.” Coco rests a hand on her chest and Marie’s lips pursed.

I giggle.

“And why is that a bad thing?”

“It’s not a bad thing.” She shakes her head. “It’s just… Are we not moving too fast?”

“I mean he asked you to leave stuff at his house because you need stuff. It’s not like he asked you to move in. I stay over at Harry’s all the time.”

“Don’t you think I’ll freak him out when he realizes I’m a high maintenance girl?”

“I mean, Marie” Coco’s sweet tone makes my friend look at her “I think he might have an idea already?”

“I mean” I giggle “he’s been to your house.”

“Yeah, but my skincare is all carefully kept in the bathroom cabinet.”

“Well” I smile “I don’t think that’ll be a deal breaker.”

She sighs.

“Maybe some day you can let him in the bathroom while you do your skincare routine. I do not think he’s gonna be faced by that.”

Her brown, good-girl’s eyes investigate mine whilst she considers my idea. I can’t believe she actually think that would be a problem. Adam is crazy about him. I don’t think there’s anything she can say that would make him not want her.

Jason comes back before Ollie does but it doesn’t take her long to stand next to our table.

“Guys, this was a very lovely day” she starts “but I won’t lie to you. Mario just called me, he said he had a hard day at the hospital today and I want to cheer him up with incredible sex and cuddles so-”

“We did not need to know about the incredible sex.” Marie tells her but Ollie just smiles.

“And of course you can leave to be with your lover, Ollie, no need to explain anything to us.”

“Right.” She smiles. “Then see you, guys.”

With that she picks up her uncountable bags and leaves and Marie bites her bottom lip.

“I think I’m gonna leave too, guys. I have a skincare routine to share with someone special.” She smiles at Coco and me and we both laugh.

“What?” Jason chuckles looking at both Coco and me. “I’m kind of tired too, girls. Your shopping gave me a headache.”

“I’m pretty sure you bought more stuff than me.” I reprimand him but he just rolls his eyes.

“Anyway, I love you all. See you.”

Coco and I walk together to her car and on the way there we both chat about how the group has changed in just a few months. It’s like we’ve grown up more in this year than we have in the last five. Jason went out of a terrible relationship and came out being stronger and more confident than ever and he’s going to the States for that internship he wanted; Ollie’s finally moved on from Jack and her inner crisis and seems to be done with being insecure and afraid of love; lovely Marie found her knight in shinning armour and is living the dream; and even Coco and me left the past behind and meet someone great.

I might miss the way things used to be because they’ve been like that for a long time but… I think they’re only getting better.

I dare to do it, if Marie’s going to show her skincare routine to Adam and Mario called Olivia because he had a hard day and needed comfort, I can tell him.

Indie: Miss you x

I rest my phone on my thigh and look out the window trying not to torture myself if he doesn’t answer straight away. He might be busy, he might be asleep even or he might be with his family.

Harry: Fuck, I miss you too

I grin like a kid on Christmas morning. Harry’s typing…

Harry: Are you done with your friends?

Indie: Yes :)

Harry: Can I see you?

Indie: Yes :)

Harry: Bien

I giggle like a teenager and Coco tilts her neck to give me an amused look. She’s not used to it.

“Do I drive you home or directly to Harry’s?”

“Do you have plans?”

“I wanna go home to shower but I’m going out with Guido afterwards.”

“Are you taking the car?”

“Yes.”

“Do you mind dropping me at Harry’s then? So I can shower and stuff before too.”

“Sure, no problem.”

“Awesome. Thank you.”

Harry: Did you have dinner?

Indie: Yes.

Indie: Are you at home?

Harry: Yes, I am. Are you coming?

Indie: Are you inviting me?

Harry: You’re always invited, love.

Indie: Then how about I visit you in an hour?

Harry: Can’t wait xxx 

After the shower, I butter my body with my strawberry and vanilla body lotion and put on my new lingerie set before I put on some lip balm and mascara. I put on a terracotta colour soft woollen sweater and a high waist black denim mini skirt that covers my stocking so they look like normal tights.

I’m excited to see Harry but on the way to his apartment while Coco drives and tells me about some of Guido’s jokes that had her laughing last time they saw each other, the excitement turns into nervousness.

Will he think this is too much? Will he find it funny? Because I would be mortified if he does and after all, this is not a special occasion. It’s just a random Friday night. Oh, God, he might think I’m crazy.

As I stand on the lift to his apartment, my sister’s compliment on my outfit gives me some nerve. I mean it’s just Harry. If he finds it funny or thinks it’s too much, I can always play it cool and pretend it was a joke all along.

He’s waiting by the door with a big smile when the lift doors opened and I make my way towards him keeping both hands on my brown jacket. He takes it and places it on the couch before we make our way towards his living room.

“Would you like anything to drink?” He offers.

“Um, maybe a cup of tea?”

He smiles amused.

“I was thinking you were going to say something alcoholic because it’s a Friday after all but you always surprise me, Blue.”

I chuckle.

���How was your day?”

“Good.” He nods his head as he turns the kettle on and takes two cups from the cupboard. “I had lunch with my mum. She asked me about you.” He gives me a smile that melts me. “How was yours?”

“Good too. We had coffee and then went shopping until we were hungry so we had a dinner and then a drink.”

“Sounds like torture to me.”

I laugh at his comment.

“That is not true. I’ve seen your closet, you’re into fashion.”

He smiles dimply because he knows I’ve caught him. God, I have seen him smile countless times in the last five months but still it makes my heart skips a beat. I approach him when he’s giving me his back checking on the water in the kettle and when he turns his head for he noticed my presence, I’m inches away from him. He wraps his arms around me and understands what I want so he leans down and kisses me. I let my tongue tell him how much I missed him and he hums as it pushes between his lips and caresses his. His hands find my ass and I moan against his mouth but the kiss is sweet and tender and we only pull apart when the kettle whistles.

We sit down on the couch and have our cups of tea as he tells me more about his lunch with his mum and I tell him more about my day. He also tells me about his congress and about an interesting case he had this week and I realize then how easy it is to talk to him. I didn’t realize there were these many things I wanted to tell him until I had him in front of me.

He’s been very handsy too and I’m sure so have I even if I don’t notice, but his hands have never left my legs and I’ve been a little nervous that he might move them a little higher and realize what I’m wearing but so far, he’s just been respectfully caressing my knee or calves.

“How is Jason doing?” He asks.

I find it so sweet that he asks about my friends.

“He’s better. Yeah, I think he’s doing good. He’s going to the States though.” My hand finds its bicep as I try to catch his undivided attention even though I already have it.

“What do you mean he’s going to the States?”

“Well, it’s only for three months.” I turn the drama off a little. “It’s this internship he got while he was with David Dick, he said no because David wanted him to stay but apparently he’s gotten a second chance and he said yes this time.”

“Wow, that’s great. Your friends are as nerdy as you.” He giggles.

“I’m not going anywhere though.”

“Yeah, thank God.”

He grins and his hands find my hips before he pulls me closer until I’m straddling him. He captures my lips with his in a long peck. Still, somehow, he hasn’t seen my stockings. I peck his lips again.

“Nah, I’m kidding, I would be very happy for you if you were going abroad for an internship or something too. You know that, right?”

I nod my head.

“I would miss you a lot though.” I confess and he grins.

“I would miss you too.”

I kiss him again and he kisses me back in a long, loving kiss until I pull away.

“I haven’t asked you: what did you get today?”

I lick my lips and feel my cheeks heating up. I’m sure when women wear these things, they don’t feel so shy. Plus, I have no reasons to feel shy when all Harry’s done is worship my body. I don’t know why I’m even doubting myself. He’s going to love it.

“I can show you.” I whisper.

I can feel his heartbeat accelerating under my hand and smile. Every doubt I’ve ever had flees my mind as I grab a handful of my sweater over my belly and pull from it so as to get it out of the hem of my skirt. His green eyes drop to my hand and his hands adjust to my hips over him. He swallows.

When my sweater springs free from my skirt, I just pull it up so he can see my lingerie bodysuit over my belly and his fingers sink of my hips as his lips part.

“Fuck me.” He whispers.

My lips curl up into a grin as his eyes search mine.

“You perfectly know what you do to me.”

His hand squeezes my hip once and I almost moan but then he takes his hands off me and rests them on the couch next to his hips.

“Well, do you want to see it or not?” I whisper.

He nods his head but doesn’t say a word. His eyes challenge me.

“You take off your clothes.” He whispers. “If you’re brave enough to wear that around me, you should be brave enough to undress yourself in front of me.” He smirks.

My eyebrows raise on my forehead and I give him a little smirk. He chuckles.

“D’you want a show?”

He grins as he nods, resting his back on the couch.

“And what do I get in return?”

“Oh, you’ll find out after the show.”

His green eyes, playful and filled on lust, narrow and this time it’s my pulse that accelerates. Placing my hands on his shoulders, I rest my weight on him as I get up from his lap and find my phone still on my purse. I go on Spotify and play Love Is A Bitch by Two Feet and hand him the phone so he can hear the song better. His grin turns nervous.

I have never done this before and I have no idea of how to dance for an striptease but here goes nothing. I sway my hips slowly much like I do when I’m fucking him because I already know he likes it from the times we have danced together. His eyes are set on me but instead of feeling nervous, I feel sexy and hot and lucky that he’s looking at me like that.

I turn around and give him my back before I bend over sticking my ass in the air to get my shoes off. Barefoot, I turn around and unbutton and unzip my skirt pushing it down my legs and letting him see my mid-thigh stockings. The corners of his lips curl up and he silently mouths fuck me.

Funny, I’m thinking the same thing. I caress myself like I’d like him to do, starting with the sides of my thighs and my hips and then my belly and my flanks, pulling my sweater up. I cup my own breasts under the sweater and don’t miss the way his Adam’s apple bops as he swallows. Still swaying slowly to the music, I grab the hem of my sweater and take it off dropping it on the floor.

I stand before him on my lingerie and feel fire burning inside me as his eyes roam my body up and down. He’s shifted his position on the couch but I can intuit the bulge between his legs.

“Do you want me to go on?” I whisper.

He shakes his head.

“Come here.”

I do as I’m told and his touch cuts my breathing halfway. His hand sticks to the exposed skin on my thigh and lustfully moves up to my hip where he squeezes.

“You must be fake.” He almost chuckles and I do.

“I’m real” I rest one knee on the couch next to his thigh and resting my hands on his shoulders, I straddle him “and yours.”

“Fuck.”

His fingertips press on the back of my neck and our mouths find each other with greed. The way he’s looked at me and the way he’s touched me and how hard I can now feel him against the inner side of my thigh drives me crazy and I push my tongue inside his mouth hungrily. My eagerness takes him by surprise but he’s just as eager as I am judging by the strength of his tongue against mine and the squeezes of his hands on my flesh. He pulls away but my mouth follows his blindly.

“Calm down, love” he chuckles against my lips “we’ve got all night. Let me enjoy you.”

I pout but instead of getting another kiss, he grins. I can’t say I’m disappointed with the outcome of my pouting. I love that he still looks like a child when he grins even when he’s acting so much like a man, full of lust and need.

“How did I do?”

Grinning, he takes my hand and lets me feel his hard on. It excites me to the point that my walls clench. He’s so hard and so hot… I want him inside me now. No, I don’t want him, I need him.

“I had never done that before.” I confess.

“Are you serious?”

I nod timidly and he sighs.

“You’re a natural then. That was the hottest thing I have ever seen and this thing…” His fingers caress my bodysuit “fucking hell, Blue, I’m gonna be dreaming about this.”

I laugh.

“Now you have to show me what I get for it.”

He grins and licks his lips as he tilts his neck.

“Well, when did the show end? You did ask me if I wanted you to go on.”

“And you said no.” I frown.

“Because I don’t want you to take this off just yet.” His tongue licks my lips like a cat. “But… If you want, I would love to watch you first.”

“Watch me?” I frown. “Doing what?”

He grins. He takes my hand in his and brings them both to my sex making me cup my dripping lips myself. I breathe in through my nose. He’s so close to me and he’s smiling in the way that turns my insides into jelly and I’m so wet and so needy… I need some relief now.

“I want you to touch yourself for me, baby.”

“You mean… Right here on top of you?”

He nods slowly but his fingers move over mine and make me caress myself. He does that a few more times before he removes his hand and lets me work alone. I keep doing what he was doing before and press circles on my clit as my eyes set on him. His hands hold my hips to give me more balance and I slip my fingers underneath the soaked fabric. His eyes move from the place I’m touching to my eyes and stop at my breasts.

“Fuck…” He whispers. “How does it feel, baby?”

I slip a single finger inside before I get another one.

“It feels better when you do it.” I confess.

He squeezes my hips and pecks my lips.

“I can show you how I do it.” His lips press on the exposed skin over my bra and I feel a current of electricity on my body. “D’you want me to?”

I keep touching myself with lips part, enjoying his kisses and his whispers. I love how his voice turns deeper and raspier when we’re having sex. It drives me crazy.

“Why do you want me to touch myself instead of you?” I whisper.

“Because having you pleasuring yourself on top of me… Fuck, baby… You don’t know how sexy you are.”

I bite on my bottom lip but his thumb pulls from it liberating it. I look into his eyes.

“If you do that, I’m gonna burst.” He smirks. “Do you not touch yourself?”

“Yes, I do.” I move my fingers slowly against my clit because I’d cum already if the rhythm was any faster. “I guess it’s just… I’m nervous.”

“Why? You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not that.” I gasp. “I do, I just… I want you.”

He grins and cups my breast on one hand making me moan.

“I’m right here, love. I just want you to cum like this first and then we can do whatever you want. Only if you want though.”

“I do want.” I stop him. “Just show me how you do it.”

He slips his own fingers the fabric of my bodysuit and guides mine.

“You have to start here” he covers the upper side to my clit, the part closer to my belly and presses slow circles “slowly, yeah, like that and don’t be nervous, baby. If you don’t cum on your own, I’ll help you.”

I half laugh half moan and he chuckles. I keep moving my fingers like he told me to do until I find a spot that sends electricity through my body. I start rubbing faster and the feeling is so good I almost don’t notice he removed his fingers.

“That’s right, baby, faster, faster.”

I feel the lower part of my belly tensing up and my nipples hardening and I moan as I relax my neck and throw my head back.

“Now stop.” Harry’s hand covers mine and stops my movement and I frown and give him a death glare that only makes him laugh. “And do it slowly again.”

I let him guide me and move my fingers against my clit watching him watch me. His eyes are fixed on my hand and my pussy and he’s biting his lip. God, this is so hot. I’m horny as hell.

One of his hands move from my hips to my inner thigh and he slips his fingers under the fabric again, slipping two fingers inside me and making me moan out loud.

“Fuck, I just wanted to see how wet you are.”

He moves his fingers slowly in and out of me and between that and my own stimulation on my clit I am afraid I might faint. I bite on my bottom lip again and he pulls from it with his thumb.

“What did I say?” He whispers as his fingers keep moving in and out of me so I bit my lip again so as not to scream. “You’re not really as good of a student as I thought.” He chuckles.

He gets his fingers out of me and I whimper making him chuckle again.

“You do it, baby.”

I curl two fingers inside of me and move them with the rhythm he was using and one of Harry’s hands squeeze my hip. I shut my eyes and gasp.

“Imagine it’s me, love.”

“Oh, God.”

When I open my eyes, I see he’s stroking himself over his jeans and my eyes drop to his bulge.

“You don’t know how much you’re turning me on, baby.”

No, he has no idea how much this is turning me on. I thought this was something only done in porn but this is fucking hot. Having him right here as I pleasure myself, hearing his voice thick with lust and knowing how much watching me is turning him on drives me crazy.

“You’re always so good with me.” He captures my earlobe between his teeth and pulls from it and I moan.

“Touch yourself, H.”

“D’you want me to?” His voice comes out strangled then and I feel the power he gives me burning my skin.

“Yes, like I’m doing.”

I hear his zipper going down and feel him lifting his hips from the couch to take his pants off. My eyes set on his hard length, already leaking precum, shinning and tight, and his fingers wrap around himself.

I try to take this time to focus on what he does to himself so I know how to touch him better next time so I slow the rhythm of my fingers for otherwise I’d finish already. Harry’s mouth attacks the side of my neck so I can no longer see him because my neck tilts back without my consent to grant him better access and he keeps kissing my skin.

“I’m not going to last long watching you, baby.” He whispers.

“Oh, God, I’m very close already, Harry… I fucking… This is so exciting.” I moan.

“Fuck me, keep talking.”

“Oh, Harry… I want you to cum so I can cum too but…” I can tell his pumping accelerates and so do my fingers. “It’s such a shame you’re not on my mouth like last time… You taste so good.”

A guttural sound cuts his breathing halfway and I feel a hot liquid spurt on my thigh. That sends me into overdrive and I moan until my throat stings. Harry’s hands hold my hips as I sigh and try to catch my breath and then I smile at him.

“Stop that or I won’t be able to stop fucking you.”

I laugh softly.

“Then don’t stop.”

He smiles mischievously at me and I know he was hoping to hear that.

“I can’t decide whether I want this off or not.”

He says staring down at my bodysuit and I laugh.

“I’m glad you like it.”

He doesn’t say anything, instead he just smiles before he leans in to capture my lips with his. We kiss intimately for a while and then his hands pull my hips down and he penetrates me slowly. He swallows my moans as he keeps kissing me lustfully but slowly, almost calmly.

His hands hold my ass and he lifts me and sinks me back down so he’s fully controlling the rhythm, a very slow, torturous one that lets me feel every inch of him as he stretches me on his way inside. I feel him so deep too, I don’t think he’s every filled me like this but I love it and I let him known, with moans and bites on his bottom lip.

“You like it slow, baby?”

I hum and nod my head and we kiss each other as if we were the only people in the world. Right now, he is to me.

“Spread your hips wider apart.” He whispers.

I do as I’m told and replace my knees further away from him. His hands hold me in place as he slowly pushes back in and I feel him paving his way through my channel inch by inch until our pubic bones touch and we both gasp.

“Oh, God.”

And we repeat again. He pulls out almost entirely and then sinks in again. He kisses me passionately and I press my body against his as if we could get closer. He captures my bottom lip with his teeth and pulls from it like I normally do with his and when my lip sets free from his prison, we both smile at each other. He fills me again and, in this kiss,, it’s me who pulls from his bottom lip. I have never felt more filled of him and of feelings for him, lust and love bubble and mix together inside my belly and burst in every kiss.

“Fuck, Harry, you’re amazing.”

I hear him giggling.

“Don’t laugh.”

He slaps my ass cheek and I jump a little.

“I’ll laugh if I want to.” He grins.

I smile too.

“You’re right. Don’t stop laughing. I love it when you do” I gasp as he fills me again, he rolls out “And I love your smile, you’re so handsome when you smile” when he fills me again, I tangle my fingers on his hair and pull from it “and your hair, I love your hair and your eyes, when you look at me…”

He shuts me up with a passionate kiss and I hope he understands how I feel about him through this intimate encounter.

“Blue…”

I wait for him to speak but he doesn’t say anything even though his hips don’t stop moving against mine.

“What?” I press him.

“Nothing.”

I would have insisted but his hips attack mine hard and it cuts my breath halfway. I cling onto his shoulders and he keeps thrusting inside me hard and fast. I pull from his hair and listen to our skins clapping together and the wet sounds of our intimate encounter. His hand cups and squeezes my breast and I arch my back and tense up as I cum again.

His thrusts become faster and sloppier until he cums himself and before I have time to react, he’s standing up and carrying me on his hips to his bed. He lies me on my back and smiles as he stares at me.

He spreads my legs opened and gets on his knees between them and his hands hold my ankle and place it on his shoulder before he unclasps my stockings and put them down my leg. He does the exact same thing with my other leg and caresses my entire body before he takes off my bodysuit.

He then hovers me and pecks my lips a few times before he pecks my nose and my cheeks and then my neck and my collarbones and he leaves kisses in every inch of my skin. I almost giggle when he kisses the spots that tickle and I feel a different type of excitement on my belly at his attention for these kisses aren’t even lustful, even though we’re both now naked. I feel adored and I feel cared for and wanted and I feel my heart about to explode with love for him.

He kisses my legs and from the inner side of my thighs he moves back to my belly, kissing my skin there again before he smiles at me.

“What do you want from me, Harry?”

“Everything.” He smiles as his face reaches the level of mine and he pecks my lips again. “I want everything from you.”

My breath catches on my throat. I want him, no, more, I love him. I love him. I swallow and play with his hair as I stare into his eyes.

“Careful what you wish for” I whisper “If you play with fire, you’ll end up burned.”

“I’m already burned.” He smirks. “And here I am.”

I smile but the smiles turns into an o as he thrusts inside me again. God, this man is insatiable, but I can’t get enough either. He fucks me slowly again and he keeps biting my lips and squeezing my flesh as we both gasp and moan.

I sink my nails on his back as he licks and sucks on my nipples and I moan his name once and again whilst his hips keep drilling me to his bed. I wish we could stay like this forever. When the delicious torture on my breasts is done, he grants me again with the heavenly image of his face and that’s all I can see as he rests his forehead against mine and keeps on moving in and out of me. I feel his breath on my face and swallow his grunts and moans.

I am not sure he feels the same way I do. I don’t know if he loves me but I don’t think I could feel any of this if he didn’t. I don’t think he would make love to me like this if he didn’t love me. I think he wouldn’t touch me like he does, I think he wouldn’t squeeze my flesh so gently if he didn’t. I think his kisses wouldn’t feel like this if he didn’t love me too.

“You feel so good, baby.”

I feel my pulse on my skin and I feel the knot on my belly about to untie and with another push of his, I lose track of space and time and my head sinks of the pillow. I can’t even breathe for some seconds until I moan out loud and feel my throat raspy and becoming inflamed. He lets go too, groaning in my ear and shivering on my arms.

It takes him a few seconds to roll out of me, but he stays laying on top of me and I hug him to my chest as we both fight to catch our breaths. I don’t know what any of this was but he filled me in every level and I still feel my heart pumping proudly at the newly found sentiment.

Harry’s breathing pattern changes and becomes calm and deep. Carefully, I pull back just enough to look into his eyes but they’re close and his expression is peaceful. I kiss his forehead.

“You’re falling asleep on me.” I whisper.

“No…” He frowns but his eyes are still closed.

I smile and try my best to pull from the duvet so I can cover us both but I’m not strong enough.

“I just need help to cover us up.”

“I’ll warm you up.” He mumbles.

“You’ll freeze too, come on.”

With one hand he lifts my back from the bed and with the other he pulls from the duvet and rolls us both under the duvet before he hugs me again. This time he rests his back against the mattress and pulls me to him so I’m the one resting my head on his chest. I trace senseless figures with my fingertips on his bare chest.

“Blue”

“Yes?”

“Give me a goodnight kiss.”

I chuckle before I lift my head and peck his lips. His eyes are still closed but he frowns.

“Kiss me well.” He complains.

I press my lips against his again, not quite knowing what he wants, and lick my way inside his mouth, getting a lazy response from his tongue. When I think I did well, I pull apart and peck his lips as closure but he opens his eyes and the intense green in them paralyzes me.

“I want one of your kisses.”

Still impressed by his gaze, I press my lips against his again and I put all the affection I have for him on the kiss until my belly erupts in a fist of butterflies and my chest feels funny and warm. We kiss one another with love, it can only be love, and when I feel like my pulse has reached my brain, I pull away and Harry skims my nose with his.

I rest my cheek against his chest before he opens his eyes and realizes I’m blushing and I hear his heartbeat against my temple. His breathing slows down just like the movement of his fingertips on the low of my back and he sighs.

“Blue…”

I hum.

“I love you.”

[janeyseymour]

Escape- pt 17

pt 1. pt 2. pt 3. pt 4. pt 5. pt 6. pt 7. pt 8. pt 9. pt 10. pt 11. pt 12. pt 13. pt 14. pt 15. pt 16.

Jane Seymour has stayed with Henry for long enough. Cue Catherine of Aragon and the rest of the girls to save her.

There's a new arrival in the family. But nothing is ever easy.

“Uh Cath?” Kat popped her head into the living room.

“Hm?” She didn’t look up from her book.

“Do you have that hospital bag ready for Jane?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Baby’s coming,” she replied casually.

“Uh, how do you know?” Catherine set down from her book.

“We were watching a movie in your room, and her water broke.”

“Hey Lina.” Jane entered the room with a laundry basket full of the sheets from the bed she had already stripped.

“Uh Jane? Kat just told me your water broke?”

“Oh yeah. I already stripped the bed and put new sheets on. Just let me go throw these in the wash real quick.”

“You’re going into labor, and you’re cleaning the house?” Aragon had started to get frazzled.

“I tried to stop her Cath. She wouldn’t hear it.”

“Janey, honey, don’t you think we should start heading for the hospital?”

“I’ve read some of those parenting books, and labor can sometimes last days, especially with your first born. I want to stay in the hospital as long as possible after he comes.”

“It’s a she, and we should go. Come on.”

“Lina dear, I love you, but it’s going to be okay. I’m going to go put these things in the wash and then rest for a bit. We can take it from there.” She leaned up to where Catherine was now standing, grabbed her shirt, and pulled her into a kiss. The blonde sauntered away.

“She’s weirdly calm about all of this,” Kat said when she thought Jane was out of earshot.

“This,” Jane popped her head back into the living room. “Is the least of my worries.”

Hours later, Jane was in active labor. “Jesus Christ Catherine, this fucking hurts! Why don’t you have to go through this fucking shit you asshole!” The contraction began to subside. “I’m so sorry. You know I don’t mean any of it. I love you,” she sighed.

“I know honey.” She wiped some of the tears away. “I really think we should leave now. You’ve put it off long enough, and I think it’s time we go get you checked out.”

“Just five more minutes,” she grunted and looked at the clock: 11:55 pm. “At midnight, we’ll go. I promise.”

“Well, why don’t we start getting you to the car then? By the time we get all the things in the car and-”

“I already put the bags in the car. Anna installed the car seat for you too,” Kat’s voice was getting panicky. She didn’t like seeing Jane in pain. “Come on Jane. I think it’s-”

“It’s okay. It’s fine. Really, we can just stay here.” Her face began to contort. “I’m fine,” she repeated over and over, gradually getting louder and louder, her eyes being clouded with tears.

“Come on,” Catherine began to lift the woman in labor out of the chair.

“Let go of me!” She blurted out. “I’m not going! I can’t do this. I can’t do it.”

Aragon sighed, wishing she could tell her girlfriend she could just give up and stop or that she would take over. It killed the older woman to see the blonde she loved so much in so much pain.

“Baby, I know you’re afraid, and so am I. But you’re doing great.”

“How are you afraid? You don’t have to push a fucking watermelon out of your vagina!” Jane snapped.

Well,” Catherine thought for a second. “I suppose you’re right, but I believe in you. Just think, in hopefully a few short hours-”

“Hours?” Jane screamed in outrage.

“Well, hopefully sooner. But in a few short moments, you’re going to have your beautiful baby girl in your arms.”

“Boy.” Jane gritted her teeth.

“Seymour, if you wait any longer, you might be having me deliver your baby,” Anna laughed. Jane’s face changed from pained to horrified.

“Okay, fine. Let’s go.” She allowed both Catherine and Kat to lead her out of the house and to the car, the other three wishing her well from the doorstep.

“Let’s go have a baby.” Catherine kissed the younger woman’s forehead before pulling out of the driveway.

“Let’s get this bullshit over with,” An already exhausted Jane muttered.

“Miss Seymour, you’re just not progressing. You’re still only at three centimeters. The way you’re contracting, you should be well on your way to pushing by now.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Jane shrieked. Catherine shot the nurse an apologetic look.

“Do you want the epidural?”

“Yeah Jane, why don’t we try the-”

“I don’t need it! I’m not weak!” Jane insisted through tears. “I don’t need it.”

“Are you sure?” The nurse looked at her rather uneasy. “It really will help with the-”

“I said no!” Jane snapped at the nurse. Once again, Catherine gave the nurse an apologetic look.

“I’m not having a c-section if the baby is perfectly healthy, and I am capable of pushing! I don’t care how long it takes my fucking body to- jesus fucking christ,” Jane swore under her breath as a wave of pain hit her.

“Jane, I really think you should cons-”

“Catherine! How many times do I have to say I’m not doing it! I’m progressing anyway! I’m at seven!”

“Are you ready Miss Seymour?”

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Jane?”

The doctor rolled his eyes at her. “Are you ready Jane?” He tried again.

“He’s beautiful Jane. I’m so proud of you.” Catherine kissed the top of Jane’s head.

“Do you have a name?” The nurse smiled at the loving couple.

Jane’s face went from content to horrified. “How did we forget to think of a name?”

“I think I know the name honey.”

“I’m sorry,” Jane sighed to the nurse. “Can we just have a few minutes?”

“Of course. For now, we’ll just call him baby boy Seymour.”

“Baby boy Aragon actually,” Jane interjected, a small smile appearing on her face.

“Really?” Catherine looked at her in wonder.

“I’ll give you two some time.” The nurse smiled and left the room.

“So, what name?” Jane asked casually, as if she didn’t just tell the nurse her baby was to have Catherine’s last name.

“No. Why my last name?”

“Well, I figured we’re probably going to get married at some point and I’m taking your last name, and you’re going to adopt him, so it would just make it easier to have it be Aragon now than have to change it in the-”

“Marry me.”

“What?”

“What?”

“What did you just?”

“Marry me. I mean it.” The hispanic dropped down to one knee and pulled out the ring she had been fidgeting with in her pocket for the last few months.

“Yes. Yes, of course I will,” Jane gasped, tears falling down her cheeks. “I love you. I’m sorry for crying. It’s this whole new mom thing.”

“Don’t apologize. There are a lot of things making both of us emotional right now. But uh, the baby’s name,” she trailed off.

“Yeah?” She looked at Catherine with teary eyes.

“Edward John.”

“You remembered?”

“Of course I did.”

“So, you got engaged... When am I going to be an aunt?”

“Honestly? I’m not sure. I really want kids, but Henry isn’t so keen on the idea yet.” A face of disappointment glossed over a younger Jane’s face before she smiled again.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. But I think I want a little boy: Edward John. I just really love that name.”

“That’s a really nice name.” ‘Edward John Aragon,’ Catherine thought immediately. “Edward John Tudor. No.’ She would never see the name Edward the same.

Then it’s Edward John Aragon,” Jane laughed lightly. “Take your son real fast.” She handed Edward over.

“Why don’t you try to get some sleep? I know you’re exhausted.”

“I am not.” She shifted slightly in the bed. “Just sit with me.”

“That’s a small bed. We won’t both be able to fit.”

“Just wait.” She slowly got out of the hospital bed.

“Jane Seymour!” Catherine all but yelled.

“Eat a dick and sit down. I’ll lay on you.”

“You’re quite the woman.” Catherine’s phone dinged. “The grandparents are here, and so are the girls.”

“Tell the grandparents to come in. We’ll see the girls after.”

“Honey, are you sure? You should really get some rest.”

“After I see everyone, okay?” She stifled a yawn.

“Janey,” Catalina began to protest.

“Not. Now. Lina.” She paused in between each word.

“Okay,” she backed down and told their parents to come in. “Wait, I forgot something. Give me your hand.” She slipped the ring onto Jane’s finger.

“I love you.” Jane kissed her chin.

“Where’s the baby?” Margaret ran in.

“Mom, please don’t yell. But he’s right here. Edward John. Eddie.”

“Oh my god! He’s-”

“Marge, I can’t get all of this shit in here by myself!” John dragged six gift bags in.

“John Seymour, watch it!” She snapped before turning her attention back to the baby. “Oh, he’s so handsome. Looks just like you.”

“Here.” Jane handed her son off.

“Eddie, I’m Nana,” she whispered. “I’m going to spoil you like crazy when you come home.” Jane’s face fell. The couple was thinking of staying near the other girls once things settled down.

“Catalina! Where is he? Where is this beautiful baby boy?” Catherine’s mother Isabella half-whispered.

“Right here,” Catherine didn’t take her eyes off of her fiancee.

“Bella! I got him. Oh, he’s so handsome.

Ferdinand, or Fred, walked in to admire the baby but stayed silent.

While the two older women fussed over the new baby, John greeted his daughter, having finally gotten all the presents into the room.

“Hey Janey honey. He’s beautiful- just like you.” A tear fell down his face.

“Don’t cry Dad.”

“I’m just really proud of you. I’m proud of you too Cath.” John reached over and patted Catherine. “Did she break your hand during labor?”

“She’s going to say I didn’t, but I ‘m pretty sure I felt some bones shift.” Jane looked up at her fiancee. “I’m sorry.”

“Did anything else-” John caught the engagement ring on his daughter’s finger from the corner of his eye. “Nevermind.”

“I’m just so happy he’s out. Being fat sucks.”

“You’re not fat. Come on now.” Catherine kissed her temple.

“Mhm,” she sighed. “I’m heavier than I’ve ever-”

“Because you carried a baby. Your body did the most amazing thing. Mom said the same thing,” John interjected. “I’m going to attempt to get Mom and Bella to let me hold him. The name?”

“Edward John.” Jane smiled. “After you.”

“Rest up now, okay?”

“Okay Daddy.”

“Cath, we have a few things to discuss later.” John gave her a pointed look before breaking into a smile.

“Yes sir.”

After a few minutes, the grandparents left with promises that they would be over to the house as soon as possible.

“Are the girls still here?”

“The other girls went down to get some food, but I’m here,” Kat stood in the doorway awkwardly.

“Oh Kat dear!” Jane smiled warmly. “Come meet him .”

“It’s a boy?” Kat’s eyes went wide. She really should’ve bet with Jane.

“Yes love. Come meet him.” Kat hesitantly stood by Jane’s bedside.

“He’s beautiful Jane.” Kat admired the baby.

“Would you like to hold him?”

“I- I couldn’t,” the pink haired woman stuttered. She was stunned that her friend trusted her to hold the light of her life.

“Do you not want to?”

“No I do!” She rushed out. “I just don’t know how, and newborn babies kind of scare me.” Jane patted the area on the bed next to her. Kat sat down quickly.

“Now, just put your arms how mine look,” Jane instructed. “When I hand him over, make sure you hold his head up. He can’t do that himself yet.” Kat did as she was told, and Jane gently passed her son over.

“Wow,” Kat gushed. “Hi little guy,” she whispered. “I’m Kitty. I’m going to be the best-”

“Big sister,” Jane interjected lovingly.

“I’m what?” Kat’s eyes practically bulged out of her head.

“You already told me you think of me as a mother figure, and I’m more than okay with that. So, you’re going to be like his big sister, if that’s alright with you.” A single tear fell down Kat’s face. “Honey, if you’d rather be an aunt-”

“No no. I’d be honored.” Kat couldn’t wipe the grin off her face before handing Eddie back to Jane.

“Where’s my goddaughter?” Anne came running into the room, Anna and Cathy not far behind.

“It’s a boy Anne.” Catherine rolled her eyes. “And no one told you you were the godmother.”

“What the-”

“That sentence better be finished with a heck Anne,” Anna looked up. “Listen, I may have the mouth of a sailor, but I know when it’s the time and the place. The time and the place is not now or here.”

“Thank you Anna.”

“No problem Seymour. Now hand over that beautiful baby boy.”

“Me first!” Boleyn whined. Anna backed off and allowed the woman in green to hold him first.

Each of the girls was able to hold Eddie and gush over him, claiming they were going to be ‘the best aunt’. Kat held back.

“Kat, do you not want to hold him again?”

“Again?” Anne whisper-yelled. “Are you telling me I wasn’t the first to hold him? What is this shit?”

“I would love to.” This time, Kat easily held the small child close to her. He opened his eyes and stared at her.

“And he looks at her first too? What the hell?” Anne continued to whine.

“He’s just admiring his big sister is all,” Jane slipped in.

“Woah. What?”

“Jane told me I could be like his big sister. Sucks to be anyone but me! I have the most amazing baby brother.” Kat stuck her tongue out towards the others before turning her attention back to Edward. “You are so loved already.”

Once all introductions were made, Catherine shooed the other queens out of the room. Katherine was the last to leave.

“I just wanted to say,” Kat’s tone was full of love. “You two are going to be the best moms ever.”

“Thank you Kat,” Aragon said fondly.

“Thank you love, but we aren’t going to be able to do it without the help from the big sister.” Jane winked. “Come here real quick.” Kat made her way across the room and over to Jane.

“I really have to go. The others are waiting, and Anne’s already pissed I was the first in the room and the last out.”

“I just wanted to tell you that I love you, and thank you for being by my side through all of this.”

“I love you too,” the pink haired woman paused. “Mom.” Jane beckoned for Kat to come close. She kissed the top of her head as Kat looked down at the little bundle of joy in the blonde’s arms. Unbeknownst to the two women at the moment, Catherine snapped a photo of her found family on her phone. Posting it to her social media, she smiled.

The light of my life with the two lights of her life. Congratulations Janey. Thank goodness she had already blocked Henry and Thomas from viewing her page.

“Catherine?” Jane’s voice was panicked. “Catherine, wake up!”

“What?” she mumbled from the chair she had settled in for the night.

“I don’t feel all that great.”

“Love, you were in labor for three nights. I’m sure you’re exhausted. Try to get some rest, okay?”

“Lina, I don’t know, but this feels different. This pain is different than the other pains. I’m really cold, and it’s getting hard to breathe.” Catherine stood up and put a hand on Jane’s forehead.

“I’m getting a nurse.” Catherine walked out of the room for a few minutes, and when she came back with a nurse, Jane was gasping for air.

“Miss Seymour? Miss Seymour!” The nurse yelled when Jane fainted. “Doctor!”

Aragon was pushed out of the room as multiple doctors began to surround her future wife.

Nothing was ever easy.

[lfthinkerwrites]

The Day Arrives

Title: Tales from Gotham Academy

Previous chapters: 1/2/3

Summary: The day of the field trip arrives. Pray for these poor, damned souls.

Friday, May 5th, 2019

The Day of the Field Trip

The Day of Infamy

It was a bright, sunny morning at Gotham Academy. In the parking lot in front of the school, two long buses were pulled up, with a crowd of freshmen students and their parents milling about, preparing to board. As usual, Jonathan and Jervis were among the first of the faculty to arrive, standing in front of a bus and waiting for the others to show.

"Well, here we are, old friend," Jervis said, shuffling a bit. "Another year, another horrifying trip. How bad do you suppose it's going to be this time?"

Jonathan shrugged his bony shoulders. "Well, Kerr ain't here. That's a plus."

"I'm more worried about Dormouse," Jervis muttered. "He's been in such a mood about this trip the whole week. I'm half expecting he won't show up."

"Well, you'd be wrong," Jonathan said, pointing behind them. "Here he comes now."

Indeed, Edward and Ellen walked through the growing mob of people, Ellen wearing her knapsack on her back and shaking her head. "Do you have to wear socks with your sandals, Dad? You look like a dork!"

Edward sniffed. "Well, you know how I feel about bare feet!" The father and daughter came to a stop in front of Jonathan and Jervis, and Edward gave them a nod. "Gentlemen."

Jervis politely greeted him, while Jonathan took a critical look at the tacky Hawaiian shirt and cargo shorts his friend was wearing. "Which way to Margaritaville?"

"Oh, har har," Edward bit out. He pointed at Jonathan's own chicken legs, exposed as they were thanks to his own shorts. "When was the last time those saw sunlight? The Reagan administration?"

Almost on cue, the Dent family showed up next to the Nashtons, Harvey, Gilda, and Duela. Duela made a beeline to Ellen and the girls started whispering to each other. "Jesus Christ," Harvey growled. "We're not even on the bus yet and you're already starting a fight Nashton?"

"Oh, who asked you, Harv?" Edward asked, rolling his eyes.

Harvey growled again, but Gilda put a hand on his shoulder. "Sweetheart," she said. "Mind your blood pressure."

Harvey's face softened as it only did around his wife. "I'm fine, honey."

Edward turned his attention back to his daughter. "Ellen, did you put sunscreen on before we left the house?"

Ellen looked away from her best friend to look at her father. "You saw me put some on!"

"Well, you need to put on more! You're already turning pink!" Edward pulled a bottle of sunscreen out of his pocket and squeezed some onto his hand. "Come here!"

Ellen groaned but came forward. "I hate my ginger genes," she complained. She moved to take the bottle from her father, only for him to slather it on her face himself. "Dad!" Ellen wailed. "Do you have to do this here!?"

"Oh, how horrible! A father doing his best to make sure his only child doesn't get skin cancer! Someone call the media!"

Ellen looked beseechingly at Jonathan. "Uncle Jon! Make Dad leave me alone!"

"Edward, leave the child be," Jonathan chided. "You're embarrassin' her."

Edward finished and Ellen scurried off back to Duela, who was trying and failing to stifle a laugh.

"Duela," Gilda called out. "You be sure to wear sunscreen too."

"But Mom, I tan!" Duela protested.

"Doesn't matter," Harvey said. "Put it on when we get on the bus."

"When are we getting on the buses?" Jervis asked, taking a look at the ever-growing mob. Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown appeared by Ellen and Duela and became involved in whatever conversation the girls were having. "I think all of the freshmen are just about here."

"Just waiting on Gordon to show," Jonathan said. By the other bus, he saw Victor Fries and Miguel trying to get the kids lined up. "It's damn near nine now. Aren't we supposed to leave at 9:30?"

"Jim's going over the plans for the day with the teachers who are staying at the school," Harvey explained. "He's also probably telling Bolton to go easy on the discipline."

Edward snorted. "That'll be a first!

You might as well ask Goodman to stop being over-dramatic, or Karlo to stop being pretentious-"

"Or you to stop being such an obnoxious pain in the ass!" Harvey interrupted.

Edward's face darkened, but immediately lit up when he caught sight of someone approaching. "Darling!" Penelope came up to the small group, her usual serious expression only just softening as she approached her boyfriend. "Did you come to see me off?" Edward asked.

"Yes," she admitted. "Actually, I also wanted to ask you to-"

"'Try to have a good time'? That's not happening and we know it," Edward glowered.

Penelope rolled her eyes. "Actually, I was going to ask you to try not to get into any trouble today."

"Me? Get into trouble? I am a paragon of virtue! A role model for the children to aspire to!"

"You threw a big hissy tantrum the other day when the vending machine in the teacher's lounge ran out of orange soda," Jonathan drawled.

"After it already ate my money, Jonathan!"

Penelope shook her head, then grabbed gently onto Edward's hand, drawing him away from the group a few feet. "If you're right and this Mockridge is at the park," she said in a low tone. "Than he's probably going to try to bait you into a fight. Just for today, ignore it. Be the bigger man."

Edward huffed. "Fine. For you and Ellen, I'll try."

Penelope smiled softly at him then. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you? I'm sure Jonathan or Jervis would be more than happy to trade places."

"No," Edward said, kissing her hand. "One of us deserves to get through this day with their sanity intact. Just promise me that you won't get involved in whatever mischief the Sirens have planned for the day."

"Have I ever?" she asked with a bemused expression on her face.

"No, but they'll try."

While the two had their conversation, Ellen watched them with an intent expression on her face. Duela gently elbowed her. "You think she might become your stepmom?"

Ellen shrugged. "Maybe."

"Where are you on the little brother or sister front?"

"I asked Dad again on Christmas if I could have one for my Birthday and he turned really pink and wouldn't talk about it." Ellen pouted. "I'm probably not gonna get one until college at this rate."

Tim scoffed. "Ellen, trust me. Siblings are overrated."

"Nashton!" Harvey called. "Jim's coming! Get back here!"

Edward's face darkened, but he and Penelope came to rejoin the group just as Gordon, trailed as always by Kristen, made his way through the crowd. As soon as got to the front of the bus, he cleared his throat and began to speak. "Good morning everybody! In just a few minutes, we'll be taking off, so we need all students to line up single file in front of one of these buses."

"Speaking of," Jervis pointed out, turning to his friends and colleagues. "We're all getting on this bus, right?"

"As long as Neil isn't on it we are," Jonathan replied.

"Where is Neil?" Jervis asked, taking a quick look around. "I haven't seen him or Basil yet."

"Maybe we got lucky and they called out," Harvey muttered. "Or they murdered each other."

"Harvey," Gilda lightly scolded.

Penelope shook her head. "Neil and Karlo on the trip together? What was Gordon thinking allowing that to happen?"

A loud whistle blew, interrupting Gordon while he was still addressing the crowd of students and their parents. The crowd turned as one and saw Neil at the school's entrance, in front of a portion of the school's marching band, dressed in a spiffy summer outfit and waving a baton around. He led out the band to an instrumental rendition of 76 Trombones, a wide smile on his face the whole time.

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jesus. Tap-dancing. Christ."

"Well," Edward said. "If nothing else, Neil certainly knows how to make an entrance."

Neil continued up to the second bus, the children falling into a single-file line behind him. As soon as he was at the front, he turned and bowed to the marching band. "Thank you, boys and girls! Enjoy your day today!" The band dispersed and the assembled crowd broke out into loud applause.

Basil Karlo chose that moment to make his appearance. He walked up next to Neil, looked at his outfit and sniffed. "Not bad. For a rank amateur."

Neil's face turned bright red. He looked like he was about to say something when Gordon spoke up again. "Anyway. We'll be arriving back on campus at 5 pm. Parents, please be here to pick up your kids. That being said, it's time to board." The students by the first bus finally began to line up after saying their goodbyes to their parents and guardians.

Ellen and Duela, by virtue of being daughters of faculty members, were the first to board. "Save me a window seat, Duela!" Ellen called after her friend as they scrambled aboard.

"Ellen, don't run!" Edward called after her. Tim and Stephanie followed their friends onto the bus. Soon, the last students had boarded and it was time for the staff to go. Jonathan and Jervis climbed aboard, while Edward and Harvey both turned to their significant others for their final goodbyes.

"Great. A day at a theme park with these nuts," Harvey grumbled.

Gilda leaned up on her tiptoes to give him a kiss. "Don't let it get too you too much, Harvey. Try to have fun with Duela today."

Harvey smiled at his wife, then got aboard.

"Remember what we talked about, Edward," Penelope said, lightly squeezing his hand. "Try not to get into trouble."

"Well, I can't speak for my illustrious colleagues, but I promise that I won't start anything," he said. He leaned in a bit closer. "In the meantime, I had a few more ideas of what you could do to reward me."

Penelope fondly rolled her eyes. "Reward you for behaving like you're supposed to? Really?"

Edward mock-pouted, only to catch someone approaching from the corner of his eye. "Oh no."

Penelope was about to ask him what was wrong, only for Harley's voice to interrupt. "Hiya, Eddie!" She bounded up to give him a hug. Selina and Pamela showed up as well, both of them looking at the bus with a smirk.

Edward groaned. "What are you three doing here? Come to rub it in one last time?"

"Actually, I needed to speak to them," Gordon said. He turned to address Selina. "So we're all clear on the schedule for the day?"

"Half-day classes, final bell at 12:30, kids in detention out by 2:30, clubs and activities out by 3:00, stay on campus until you get back and help with pickup," Selina rattled off. "Crystal clear."

Gordon nodded. "Good. Remember, Strange will be leaving campus at 12:30 for a meeting with members of the school board. Kristen, of course, will help out with anything you might need." His look turned grave. "Keep an eye on Bolton, but don't start anything with him. Understand?"

Pamela scoffed. "You should be telling him not to start anything with us."

"I did, as a matter of fact," Gordon said. "Alright, I think that's everything. Kristen, give me status updates every hour until school's out. Ladies, try not to have too much fun." He turned and walked towards the second bus to help them with boarding, leaving Edward with the Sirens.

"This is gonna be great!" Harley said, throwing her arms around Kristen and Penelope's shoulders. "After Strange leaves, we're gonna have a girl's day in the chem lab!"

Edward grimaced. "And just what nonsense does that entail?"

Pamela let out a cold laugh. "Wouldn't you like to know."

Edward's face fell, and Penelope shook off Harley's grip to reassure him. "I'm sure it'll be fine," she said.

"Relax Eddie, we'll take care of your girl," Selina teased.

"That's what I'm afraid of," Edward ground out.

Penelope rolled her eyes. "You're all ridiculous."

"Edward!" Jonathan called out. "Are you getting on board or do Dent and I have to drag your ass on?"

"I'm coming!" Edward snapped. He took one last look at his girlfriend and the Sirens and shuddered. "Remember me fondly."

Harley just gave him a cheeky wave. "Bye, Eddie! See you in the funny papers!"

Edward waved back, then took a deep breath and boarded. Gordon came back to the bus and gave the women a wave before he climbed on. The bus door closed and the remaining crowd of people took a step back as the buses started. The first bus pulled out of the parking lot, followed by the second bus. In a matter of moments, the buses had passed the main gate and were on their way to Mt. Olympus theme park.

God help them all.

[nikatyler]

It’s time for another week of replies. I don’t know what to talk about today, other than I just finished my English homework and kinda hate my English teacher now. But it’s fine.

As you might have noticed, the queue now starts two hours earlier than it used to. That’s because I’ve encountred a wonderful glitch. You might have heard about it. Tumblr basically invented time travel. Posts which were queued to be posted between 9-10 pm CET were sent to the past. Some people suggested turning off the “new post types” or whatever. I did that, but it didn’t help.

This website will never cease to amaze me. Just when you thought you couldn’t be more frustrated...it comes up with something new.

jackssims replied to your photo “Oh hey, long time no replies. And these are the first ones of this...”

@ the reference: it’s to the song “Ironic” by Alanis Morissette! “It’s like rain on your wedding day / It’s a free ride and you’ve already paid” are parts of the chorus

Oh. OH. See I figured it would be a song, I just couldn’t remember for the life of me which one. Now I listened to it and I feel dumb because of course I know this song

In fact, who DOESN’T know this song

myopiccc replied to your photoset “Don’t deny it, Dawn. You like it.”

LOL! She's got me anyway!

Basically

She loves this dork with all her heart

fataleromeo replied to your photoset “Ross: “Happy birthday, Sunset. I have a little gift for you. It’s...”

oooooh love the who reference! ����

jackssims replied to your photoset “Ross: “Happy birthday, Sunset. I have a little gift for you. It’s...”

The Doctor Who reference tho

I had to

simlovinggirl replied to your photoset “My little girl is growing up. She’s going to be an adult. How is that...”

Seriously, where did the time go? I remember when he was a teen just going around kissin' on everyone xD

No joke, I feel the same?? His wild kissing phase happened like half a year ago in my game and it still feels like yesterday

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Wouldn’t it be nice if they could…I don’t know, maybe slow dance...”

Ts3 waited till the Seasons ts4... nobody knows till thenXD

EA please, if you’re reading this...give us slow dance. Please. I don’t care about anything else. I know a lot of people scream for cars. What are cars good for? Give me slow dancing. And cuddling in bed. Just some cute couple animations in general. Please

Btw unrelated but yeah I don’t care about cars and I would be totally fine without them. There I said it. Also if you guys want cars that’s okay, we don’t have to fight about it.

memesplayssims replied to your photoset

i found the posts from my queue 5 days ago on my blog so your posts may be far back on your blog

Mine were sent on a time travel trip to 16th December 2018 lmao. Tumblr, you ain’t the Doctor, please stop.

alfalfalegacy replied to your photo

Heart eyes ������

I knooooow! I took some cute pictures of them today and...I’m dead. All the quads’ couples are so cute what the heck

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Sunset: “I wanted to talk to you about something. I know you told me...”

i thought i loved ross and caleb but boy are these two blowing them out of the water real fukcin quick!!!

I liked the development Ross and Caleb had. Sunset and Dawn got less of it. But that doesn’t mean I love them less. They’re awesome. At the moment in my game, they’re already engaged and...wow I love focusing on them.

cafeheart replied to your photoset “Sunset: “You’re gonna…sit on me? Do you know how these things are...”

jesus christ dawn's face in the second image

Looks like an angel but is actually a devil

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset

They are so cute!

And wait till you see their children

unstablesims replied to your photoset “There’s nothing quite like getting a massage from the older sister of...”

careful or she will break ur neck lmao

God yes that’s highly possible

justkeeponsimming replied to your photo “~ Del Sol Valley”

This screenshot is so pretty!

Del Sol Valley is very pretty. I’d say the lots are a disappointment, but the scenery around is gorgeous.

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photo “~ Del Sol Valley”

Congratulations!

Thanks! Even though I’m not sure if this is something to congratulate me for, I mean I’m just an obsessed sims freak who completed her sims 4 collection :D Shoutout to my grandparents for giving me money for my birthday and shoutout to Origin for having these ridiculous big sales.

Would I sell my soul to EA? I hate to admit it but possibly

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Sunset: “Today is going to be eventful, don’t you think?” Caleb: “It...”

Poor Caleb(

I feel bad for him. Actually bad. I even feel a little bad for not quitting without saving.

melien replied to your post “Okay, I follow you because your sims are amazing, and I think I'm one...”

DON'T NEED MONEY DON'T TAKE FAME

DON’T NEED NO CREDIT CARD TO RIDE THIS TRAIN

melien replied to your photo

������

Ahhh I love Myra so much. She’s the only one who can handle Lydia, let’s be real (god I can’t wait to show their little story!). She deserves an award, just like Sharon (as I said yesterday on the ask).

Hmm, Putting Up with a Dumbass Award sounds like something many of the sims in my game should win. 

melien replied to your photoset “Things I’ve never expected to see: This”

Battle of the bumps

I hate this

melien  replied to your photoset “The baby should be here soon and I’m excited. Even though I didn’t...”

Could you bless my game with some aliens? I never get alien babies like ever

Try naming a sim Caleb, that works, they like Calebs

jackssims replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

This still works, since you’re still fulfilling the requirements of the gen!

dandylion240 replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

Works for me XD

tiny-tany-thaanos replied to your photoset “Do I have to? What’s the point if I’m going to be…you know…young...”

It` like reblogging "If you not reblog smth bad happens" and deleting it straight away - still countsXD

That’s exactly what I thought too. Glad we’re on the same page :D And yeah, comparing it to that is pretty accurate, I didn’t even realize. Well, in this case, his “old age” will stay “reblogged” for a bit. But still, it’s basically the same thing!

[pointlesspoetryy-blog]

Driving Lessons (fiction)

A fictional story about a teenage girl’s final process of moving on from a tragic event. I wanted to capture the feeling or idea of “driving” away from something, a traumatic event, something you haven’t let go of. 2693 words. It’s a long one. 

Driving Lessons

”My mum and little sister died when I was eleven and I killed... no… I did… please...don’t give me excuses”.

And that’s all I remember from my session today. In fact, that’s all I remember saying all day. I remember Dad taking me to the cafe across the street from the therapist’s and eating a sandwich that was far too chewy to be worth its twelve dollar price tag. Then I remember taking the train home with him and going to my room and staring at my math homework. I think I cried because of the 2010 family picture on my wall, but that could have been yesterday.

I haven’t been in a car since the accident. I’ve been told it was an accident but I still don’t think it was. That’s why I had therapy today. I’ve been fighting with my Dad because I don’t want some idiot with a degree telling me why I killed half my family. He broke down and said he’s so sorry he didn’t help me sooner, for not being there for me. I eventually agreed in the heat of the moment.

Most people think it’s weird that I haven’t been in a car for five years, but it’s not all that hard. If I do something on the weekend it has to be by the train, but usually, I’m just in my room. My room is where it’s safe and I feel safe and I can’t hurt anyone. I’ve been told I have some sort of complex, but then again not many people have caused what I’ve caused. A month ago, I took and passed the computerised driving test, for the hell of it and to make Dad happy. My L plates now sit in my drawer, untouched and hated. Now, all of my friends are starting to drive, being sixteen and all, but I know I could never set foot on a brake, turn a key, start an engine; roll down the windows, blast music, drive my friends home from a party; sing along to a song while I drive, the way my mother would always do, her sweet voice in tune with a cassette tape. When I was six and she’d take me home from dance lessons, she would put in a nursery rhymes CD and we’d yell the lyrics to Humpty Dumpty on the Princes Highway, windows down and wind in my face.

I remember the song that was playing right before the accident. Sometimes I lie awake in the dead of night and the music will crawl into my brain from some deep dark corner and my chest seizes up and I can’t breathe. I hear cars zooming down my neighbourhood from outside my window and I want to stand up and yell at them to stop, to please save themselves, but I am frozen and sweating under my covers. I flashback to the moment, the suspension of air and time and then the crushing sensation of the ground. All I can hear is the CD player scratching and the lyrics breaking over and over and over again as I lie there and eventually the disc machine gives up and the scratchy song stops; and then, silence. The song is so ironic that many times in these panic attacks I’ll burst out laughing- God really does have a sense of humour. “Stayin’ Alive” by the Bee Gees.

I got given pills at thirteen, some chemical compacted into a tablet that was supposed to make me forget. I tried to take them but they made me numb, oblivious to the world with a layer of rose glass glazed over everything. It was as if you took your depression and put a barbie bandaid on it. I started flushing the stupid things down the toilet, and the panic attacks came back. It was better than forgetting my mum and little sister ever existed.

It’s Sunday and I wake up at 5 am. This is normal for me, don’t worry. I check my phone and drink some water, and do my usual routine of lying awake for two hours, mind blank. Early morning is the only time I feel okay; I can picture my little sister snoring in the room next to me in her tiny pink barbie bed. I used to jump into it every morning, waking her up and blowing raspberries on her face. She would cling to me as I piggybacked her to the kitchen and made us Weetbix for breakfast. Mum would pad down the stairs in her dressing gown and make tea- she wouldn’t drink coffee because of the baby- and my Dad would follow, letting the dogs in and making everyone pancakes on the days he wasn’t working. Mum would hug us goodbye and take Milly to kindergarten as I walked to the bus stop. Now, my Dad will wake up early and come into my room, every day, probably to check that I’m still alive.

I startle as he knocks on my door at 7 am. My body is tired, a familiar throb that wakes up with me. I pretend to be asleep as Dad sits at the foot of my bed. “B?”. He uses the same tone every morning when he says my nickname, apprehensive and tense. I breathe loudly and can instantly sense his relief. He pats my shoulder.

“I have to tell you something sweetheart”, he says, and I can tell from his voice that it’s not going to be okay.

“Promise me you’ll be okay with this”

“What is it, Dad”

“I… I booked you a driving lesson for this afternoon”

And my whole world goes black.

I wake up again around 9 am and at first, I can’t remember what’s wrong. I climb out of bed and sweep my hair off my forehead, realising I’ve been sweating. I find myself going to my sisters' room; it’s been untouched for five years, a thin layer of grime covering her Barbie dolls and toys. I sit on her bed and it creaks. I often do this, lying under her pink covers and crying. “I miss you, Mills. I’m so sorry. You would have been ten today, baby”.

I pace into the kitchen and sit at the table with my Dad, a full cup of coffee at my seat. Dad looks empty. “It’s…”

“Yeah, it’s Mill’s birthday” I interject. There’s no reason to beat around the bush. I rarely reveal my emotions to people, no-one needs to know how I sit in my sisters' room and cry, or talk to my mum in my sleep. “I thought this would be a good day to move on, Brea. For you to learn how to drive”. There’s a long pause. Dad’s tone is slow and tired. I am silent, but not by choice, but because instead of words I have tears bubbling up. “We just. Need to move on. You have to move on B, this isn’t healthy” he’s saying, but all I am hearing is “forget about their suffering and drive without them”.

“Dad, I can’t. You know that” I choke out. “What if I’m responsible for someone else’s death again? There’s just too much to handle”. Dad lowers his head to the table. His tone is gruff.  “It wasn’t your fault Brea, Jesus Christ. Your lesson is at four o'clock this afternoon, understand? Don’t you see how I suffer too, watching you waste your life and blame yourself for this bloody mess? You were eleven years old, Breanna. It was dumb bad luck”. I am silent.

10 am fades into the afternoon, which melts into 3 pm. I’ve switched between lying in my bed, staring at my math homework, ignoring my friend’s messages. Dad appears at my door. “Breanna, it’s time. Get dressed”. I feel pretty numb, along with knowing there’s no way I’m getting in the instructors' car. “How are we getting there?”, “we’re driving” Dad responds in a muted tone. “Nuh-uh. No way.” I try, tears prickling. “You can sit in the back. It’s happening, Brea” is the response I get, no sympathy, no recognition of my fear. I swallow and sidle into the back seat. Dad’s face softens and his tone changes. “I’ll drive real slowly, the place is only six kilometres away”. I curl up inside my seatbelt, trying to cure the unfamiliar feeling.

My eyes remain shut the entire long trip, although only long because Dad drives slowly. Still, every speed bump, jolt and close-passing car makes me panic. At some point, I press my hand up to the window, a light rain misting the view. I didn’t want to look outside anyway.

All of a sudden I am standing outside the instructors' car, his face frowning back at me. Rain tickles my scalp, and I can’t tell if the wetness on my cheeks is rain or tears.

“I’ll be in the back seat, B. You got this” I hear Dad say, distantly. The instructor stands in front of me. “As this is your first time driving, we will only be driving around one street. However, I will first teach you the basics of the clutch and wheel etc…”

His voice fades into the air for me. I want to run away, but there are cars that will chase me: in other words, I’m trapped.

It’s time for me to enter the car. I’m almost dissociating from reality but there is nothing I can do. The instructor shows me how to use the clutch and pedal, but his words are bullshit to me. He places a key in my trembling hands, expecting me to know what to do with it. “Is she okay?” the guy is asking my Dad, his words sounding distant and echoey in my drumming brain. “She’s fine… just experiencing some drivers anxiety…” I bite my lip so hard that I feel the capillaries burst; I can hear them pop… not normal… focus. I turn the key and the engine starts, abruptly. And I am plunged into somewhere else.

It is February 2013, a warm day in Sydney. My little sister and I play fight and wrestle as we make our way through the parking lot. Mum tells us to cut it out, and cut it out quick! But she is laughing. Sugar from my popsicle lingers on my lips, sticky in the sun. Milly has her arms wrapped around my waist and I’m forced to drag her, groaning and panting, I lock my fingers into hers and twist them back. “OWWWW” she exclaims and starts to cry. “No! SHH, Mills! No crying allowed on your birthday!” I yell-whisper, cautious of  Mum in the near distance, knowing I’ll get in trouble for making Milly cry. I pick her up and carry her as I walk. “Stupid face!” I grin, and she grins back. Sugar has gotten to her head and she wriggles out of my arms and runs across the parking lot. “Mills, come back!” I yell at her, knowing I’m partly responsible for her safety. Mum gets her. I smile. Luna Park was just what Milly needs on her fifth birthday, and it was kinda fun too, even when I’m as old as eleven.

“Push over, loser” I playfully shove Mills off my favourite back seat. “Honey, you sit in the front today” My mum smiles behind her Ray Bans. Her lipstick is cherry coloured and teeth straight and white, eyes so kind as they peer over the top of her glasses. I scowl as I climb into the front, wondering why I didn’t get the good genes. Milly has the same kind eyes; I know she’ll be beautiful by my age. Oh! “Milllllls, it’s time for your birthday present!” I grin and look behind me at her excitement. I throw back my handmade paper card with a stick figure drawing and a stuffed animal full of candy. Mum scowls lightly and starts the car, the sudden sound of the engine abrupt. We roll out of the parking lot into Sydney traffic. Mum lets me choose the CD for the car trip, Mills doesn’t seem too fussed, even though I know she’d like some Britney Spears; I hate Britney Spears. I choose an Old Hits CD and ignore Milly’s protests.

It’s been about half an hour and we’re on a busy-looking highway. Mum’s letting me go on her phone and Milly’s fast asleep in the back, sugar crash no doubt. “I can’t wait ‘til Mill is older and I’m super old like twenty-three and we can be adults together” I happily tell Mum as she pretends to listen; I notice but I keep rambling anyway. “Will we still go to Luna Park when we’re older? Mums?”

“Sorry, darling, I’m a bit tired… love, just let me focus”. I always forget that Mum’s pregnant, because her bump is still small, but she somehow already knows it’s gonna be a boy. Science is cool. I heard Mum and Dad talking about names just last night, it’s gonna be Jamie or Sam or most likely Tye. I think Tye sounds stupid, like the hair tie on my wrist.

My favourite song from the CD comes on- “Stayin Alive” by the Bee Gees. Anticipation lulls away and I rest my head on the windowsill.

I hear Milly wake up before I see her because she stops her annoying snoring, finally. “Where’s my stuffy!” she whines, rubbing her eyes.

“Are we nearly there, Mummy?”

“Not yet baby”

“Where’s my stuffy? I want candy” “I don’t know love, go back to sleep”

Out the corner of my eye, I see Milly reach for my present, having rolled to the opposite side of the back seat, under Mum’s. “Can’t… reach..” she mutters; I’m singing along to the chorus of Stayin Alive. Mum quietly curses at a car as it overtakes her. “Reckless people” she mutters. “Mum, you okay,” I ask. “Yes darling, can you check on your sister?”

The barely audible click of a seatbelt unfastening reaches my ears. “Mills… Mills! Get back!” I whisper.

“My stuffyyyy”, Milly is crawling to the other side of the backseat. Mum sees her in the rearview mirror. “Milly...Camilla!”

Mills has gotten herself wedged in between the back seat and the front seat, reaching for her stuffed toy. I roll my eyes. “You’re gonna get in trou-ble” I tease. “Don’t you unclip your belt, Brea”, Mum warns me sternly. “Milly darling please, get back to your seat, I can’t pull over here”, a worried expression on Mum’s face, hand on her bumpy stomach. Milly rustles her stuffed animal free from under the front seat and prepares to climb back up. I lay my head back on the windowsill. I hear a scream.

“SPIDER!”

Mum jerks her head around to the back in a startle. She knocks the steering wheel with her left elbow as I watch in confusement. In the lane beside us, approaches a truck.

It only takes a split second.

Passengers in the backseat are 46 percent more likely to die in a car crash than front seat passengers and drivers.

For some reason, this processed Wikipedia sentence repeats over and over in my head as I sit at the driver’s seat, fingers on the turned, rumbling engine, standstill; back to reality. Two pairs of eyes watch me in concernment as I shake, breathing, in, out, in.

“Um.. so… you have to push your foot on the pedal and…” The instructor.

I’m not listening.

I’m crying, and I look to Dad for comfort, but he’s not there. Instead, it’s young Mills and Mum and her baby bump. “Hey guys” I smile. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry I gave Milly her present in the car… I should have waited like you told me too, Mum”. I silently cry, hoping the instructor can’t see. “I should have let us have the life you deserve, with me and Mill and Tye”; Mum and Mill smile sadly at me. “Happy birthday Milly baby” I whisper. “What do you want for your birthday? You can have anything”.

“I want you to drive me home, big sis”.

So I do.

[pendergays]

Welcome To The Dark Side (Priya x MC)(2/???)

Chapter Two: Want (Part 1)

A/N: So as it turns out, Tumblr has a limit on how long your posts can be (🙃), which is why I’m going to have to split the chapter into two and why it ends so abruptly. Don’t worry, the next chapter is airing in like two minutes. It also has smut. Anyway, special thanks to @delphinusbae, @dulcedemigoddessmasse, and @1suicidenotes1 for providing encouragement and feedback!

You’ve always been attracted to the wrong sort of thing. Neon signs in seedy bars, cigarette smoke blown from devilish smiles, that telltale glint you see in someone’s eye when they’re ready to take you somewhere you don’t know if you can come back from. A disturbing majority of the girls you’ve had fall into that category: so forbidden and so gorgeous, you couldn't help but want them. It’s an addiction, plain and simple. And all you can do once you succumb to that addiction is hope the thrill of entwined bodies is worth the empty bed in the morning.

You wake up with a pounding hangover and the first thing you notice is that the bed isn’t empty. You prop yourself up on your arms to look around. Priya’s sitting up next to you, legs swinging lazily off the bed, holding a perfectly round red apple in a manicured hand. She turns to you, a soft smile on her lips. The heavy curtains in her room filter out most of the sun, but the rays that do make it bathe her hair in a halo of soft golden light. “Morning, beautiful,” she says, and her voice sounds a little tired and a lot content. A small smile graces her gorgeous face, surprisingly unguarded. Even though she looks exactly the same as yesterday, there’s something different about her. Something softer, beneath her usual hazy veneer of loud music and louder moans.

She bites into the apple. Juice drips from the corner of her mouth, rolling in lazy drops down to her chin. Something about the action jars your memory. An alcohol-blurred scene flashes in your mind: overwhelming sheer indulgence, her teeth cutting into your neck, how fucking perfect she looked on top of you. And a trail of blood— your blood— tracing a path from her mouth to chin.

Holy shit. You actually did that. You actually let her.

Congratulations, you think to yourself, half-sarcastic and half-incredulous. You not only managed to screw a vampire, but also allowed her to drink your blood. Jesus Christ, who knows how many blood-transmitted STDs you might’ve gotten? It’s not like you took vampire Sex Ed. Shit, were we supposed to use protection? Dental dams?

The sudden flood of mental ramblings combined with your mounting panic exacerbates your hangover painfully. With a pitiful whine, you drop back down onto the bed and roll over until your face is buried in a pillow. It… smells like her. Surprisingly enough, the faint scent of saffron calms you near-instantly, your heartbeat returning to its normal pace. Even the marching band stomping away inside your skull seems to have quieted down.

You feel a warm hand on your shoulder. “What’s wrong, darling?”

You don’t know. You can’t deny that it says something about your character that you jumped into bed with a paranormal entity as soon as she asked politely. And then not-so-politely. If this was a regular hookup in a regular bar with a human, you could walk away from the tangled sheets, paint over your hickeys with makeup and never see her again. Easy as that. But this woman is tied closely to your boss, given that they’re both Clan leaders, and if you want to keep working with Adrian you’re probably going to have to see her again.

You suppress a low, self-deprecating chuckle. Wow. Only you could get entangled in some kind of criminal vampire conspiracy mere hours after getting hired for your dream job.

“One-night-stand regret?” Priya guesses near-perfectly, a hint of what could be remorse embedded in the words. You flip over, smoothing your hair out of your face and turning to her. Lying to her… would not be a good idea, especially if vampires have supernatural intuition or something equally BS. So you tell her the truth, and hope you don’t end up looking like juice box by the end of it.

“Kind of. I mean, last night was great. More than great, even.” You pause momentarily to relish in the memory of delirious heat and delicious hints of pain mixed in with mind-shattering pleasure. Your eyes begin to glaze over.... No, wait, fuck! Focus! You shake your head to clear away the remaining cobwebs in your mind, and continue. “It’s just… I don’t know. Sleeping with a vampire wasn’t really on my bucket list, y’know? Especially since you and my boss seem to be kinda, uh. Not close?” You end on a question, feeling like you’re tiptoeing around land mines.

Priya throws her head back and laughs. It’s a nice sound, filled with lazy indulgence and sweet satisfaction. Completely at odds with what she says next. “If you never want to see me again, that’s completely fine.” The words come out casually, smooth and without any trace of hesitation. “More of my human lovers do than not. Of course, then they had to be taken care of by the Council… but I don’t think that’ll be necessary in your case.” She tosses her apple core into the trash can by the door nonchalantly, before scooting forward a few inches toward you. Her eyes are a dark, rich, mahogany color, and they sweep up and down the length of your body in a way that makes you feel like you’re exposed, completely bare for her to see. She’s not smiling anymore. “You can keep a secret, can’t you?”

“Yes,” you whisper, the word slipping out of your lips not entirely because of self-preservation reasons. You want her to look at you fondly, to smile at you and kiss you and– fuck. Looking for affection from a vampire is dumb. You know that. So why are you still doing it?

The moment you speak, the smile is back on her face, as stunning as ever. When she smiles at you… it feels like the sun itself is beaming. Like everything is right in the world, even if just for a moment. Your breath catches in your chest involuntarily and you have to consciously make yourself inhale and exhale. This... this is bad. You need to get away from this– away from her. She’s not good for you. You shouldn’t want her so much.

(But you do.)

“Good girl,” she smirks, oblivious to your mental turmoil. “Anyway, even if I was going to report you to the Council, I’m sure Adrian would made sure every hair on your pretty little head is safe. He seems to have taken a shine to you. I can understand why.” She pulls your chin up to meet her half-lidded gaze, and you freeze like a rabbit caught by a wolf. Her next words come out low and soft, promising things you don’t understand exactly but want anyway. “If I’m being honest… I’ve taken a shine to you too. I wish I could keep you.”

She sighs, before letting go of my chin and turning away, running slim fingers through her thick dark hair. “Speaking of Addy… he’s awfully concerned about you. As are a bunch of other people.” She opens a drawer in her bed-stand and takes out your phone, before tossing it to you. “It was beeping and ringing the whole night so I put it away. Feel free to go and tell whoever’s stalking you that no, the evil vampiress hasn’t murdered you or done some other horrific thing.” She pauses, then grins wickedly. “Well, to be fair, you went through a lot of “little death”s last night.”

It takes you a moment for your rudimentary high-school French to parse the innuendo, and when you do, you light up a bright cherry-red. Priya laughs at your sheepish expression, but quickly turns serious again. “No, really. You have good friends.” Is that a touch of wistfulness you hear? Jealousy, even?

You don’t have time to try and figure it out. When you turn on your phone, your jaw actually drops– 46 messages and 23 voicemails?! What the metaphorical fuck?! Quickly scrolling through them, you realize the bulk of them are from Lily, though Adrian’s contributed to the rest.

Lily Spencer [11:43 PM]: Where are youuuuu

Lily Spencer [12:26 AM]: Are you getting it on w/ your hot boss? ;)

Lily Spencer [1:09 AM]: No but really where the fuck are you??? I’m legit worried smh

Lily Spencer [1:59 AM]: Are you okay??? Text me “mchanzo” if you need an emergency rescue!!!

39 more messages from Lily Spencer. Tap here to view them.

You groan. Fuck. You can already feel a headache coming on. Combined with your throbbing hangover, that’s a deadly combination. You send off a quick “Don’t worry, I’m okay!” to Lily and then check Adrian’s messages.

Adrian Raines [12:11 AM]: I’m really sorry for bringing you to Priya’s studio. I didn’t know she’d be like this.

Adrian Raines [1:02 AM]: Are you alright? Tell Priya you’re under my protection. She can’t hurt you.

Adrian Raines [1:38 AM]: Call me and I’ll be right there. I was stupid to bring you there. I’m sorry.

You cringe. Well, Adrian didn’t seem to take it too badly, but it’ll still be really awkward when you see him at work today—

Wait.

With an ice-cold, creeping dread, you hurriedly check the time at the top of your phone. Surely enough, the numbers there pronounce your doom: 9:23 AM.

“I’m late,” you gasp in horror.

Sensing your profound distress, Priya cranes her neck over your shoulder. Her eyes quickly flit through the messages, and a wry grin makes its way onto her scarlet lips. “I did tell you Adrian was awfully protective,” she says, a glaze of bitterness souring the otherwise cheerful words. “Though I’m a little offended he thinks I would hurt you. Of course I wouldn’t. You’re too pretty for that,” she remarks casually, breath hot against the shell of your ear.

You swallow and ignore the aching, tantalizing flare of arousal that sparks between your legs. Prying yourself away from her grasp, you send her a withering glare. “It doesn’t matter whether Adrian is protective or not, because he’s going to fire me anyway I’m not there in like three minutes.”

Priya shrugs, leaning back luxuriously on the medley of fluffy white pillows behind her and using only her elbows to prop herself up. A curl of coiffed dark hair falls onto her face, partially obscuring one eye. You swallow, once again hit with the “attractive girl is next to you” hammer. She’s all painted lips and painted nails and bronze legs that go on for days. The epitome of devil-may-care.

Her honeyed voice snaps you out of your reverie. “Look, angel, I don’t mean to be dismissive of your job as accountant– assistant, whatever– but I’m just saying, you’ve been blessed with the kind of beauty that’s rare to come by. An allure that doesn’t stop skin-deep.” You wonder if that’s a double-entendre, given that she spent a good part of last night with her teeth in your neck. She continues, “You’re already spectacular, but with a little makeup and one of my masterpieces, you could be the greatest model New York City’s seen in a while. Besides,” she winks suggestively, “being a model has wonderful benefits. Including but not limited to, hmm, private sessions with the head designer.”

You were wondering where all this flattery was leading up to. As it turns out, it led to complete and utter madness.

“...Priya,” you start, trying to phrase this tactfully and finding yourself wanting, “I can’t be a model. I already have a job at Raines Corp, which is quite frankly in peril because of how not on-time I am.”

The vampire rolls her eyes, taking a pillow and throwing it at you playfully. “Don’t be such a buzzkill. First of all, who cares if you’re late? Besides, Didi already called to say you can take the day off.”

You blink rapidly, uncomprehending. “Didi?”

Priya lets out an exaggerated sigh of disappointment. “Adrian. Keep up. He called me at three in the morning– so rude, I know– and when he was done thoroughly scalping me for defiling his precious little assistant, he said you could take the day off. It makes sense, which is surprising coming from Mr. Bring A Human To Work Day. You should rest.”

A variety of emotions course through you in the span of a few short seconds. Relief at not getting fired less than 24 hours after getting hired, confusion at how many nicknames Priya has for Adrian, and sheer utter disbelief at all the contradictions she’s spewing from those perfect lips.

“Hold up,” you say before Priya can distract you again. “I should rest? Literally two seconds ago you were trying to bribe me into being a model with sex– don’t try to deny it, it won’t work– both of which aren’t exactly relaxing. Where exactly would I be resting between the runway and the orgasms?”

Priya waves you off. “Don’t fret, gorgeous. We’ll have plenty of time to destress in the hours leading up to your modeling debut. But first things first– you need something to eat. Something that isn’t me, at least.”

You sputter and stumble over your words and Priya seems to delight in it, pressing a warm kiss to your cheek. “You’re so cute when you blush,” she purrs, and you can’t help the warmth that blooms in your chest like a flower under the sun. It’s not just arousal, unfortunately. You could understand that– she is, after all, one of the most attractive women you’ve ever seen– but what you can’t deal with is this, this affection. You’re not stupid. You know where this kind of feeling leads. And you absolutely cannot walk down that precarious, woefully wonderful path. Not with her.

(But why not....?)

You know why. She’s a goddamn vampire, for one, and beyond that… she’s perfect. Not for most people, but for you. You’re weak to these kinds of girls, who bite and bruise and touch and take so wonderfully. Dangerous girls, if you had to sum it up in a word. And Priya… she’s the pinnacle of that. Spending the night with her was the dumbest thing you could’ve done. And yet… you already know you’d do it again. You’d keep coming back, as long as she’d have you.

(Fuck. I’m so fucked up.)

--------

Want Part 2

[brie-n-kat-write]

Dating 101

Request: Can I request one where the reader is clints daughter and she lives in the tower with him? She went out on a date with a guy and he made her stay out past her curfew so she comes home pissed with blood on her hands and arms. Clint freaks out seeing her like that and she's like 'oh it's not mine, it's his' she tells her dad the guy got pushy with her and refused to drive her home till he got something from her so she kicked his ass. Clints beaming with pride and laughing - @purplekitten30

A/N: Hey guys! I’m really sorry I haven't been writing much and Brie has been taking care of the blog mostly alone for the past couple months. She has done such a good job at keeping us alive and I just want to thank her for that, and you all should to, because without her I would have never found the motivation to write again. I love you kiddo!!

Anyway, I hope you all like this one, I know I’m a little rusty. Sorry @purplekitten30 , for how long it took to get your request done, I hope you enjoy it!

- Written by Kat - 

Clint paced nervously in the living room of the Avengers tower. Chewing on his nails, he alternated between feelings of worry and anger, glancing from the clock hanging on the wall, to his phone on the counter. 

Where could she be? She had left hours ago explaining that her date would have her home by 9:00 pm. It was now 10:15, and he hadn’t gotten word form her yet.

He jumped at the sound of Tony walking into the room. Tony paused in the doorway looking at his teammate, who looked like he was about to either kill someone or call the cops. 

“What are you doing?” Tony asked crossing the room to the adjoining kitchen. “(Y/N)’s not home yet.” Clint answered checking his watch again. Tony proceeded to pour himself a bowl of cereal. Tony chuckled to himself, a sly smirk on his lips. 

“Don’t ruffle your feathers too much there momma hen. She's on a date.” Tony answered without concern. He winked at Clint and wiggled his eyebrows. “She’s most likely with that boy-”

“Zip it Stark.” Steve's voice cut in. “(Y/N) is not like you, she wouldn't make her dad worry for the sake of a hot date.” Steve continued speaking, moving further into the room, placing a comforting hand on Clint’s shoulder. 

“I’m sure she’s fine Clint. (Y/N) is a smart girl, and you raised her well.” Steve tried to reassure him, flashing a half-hearted smile which Clint returned, not able to shake the uneasy feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach. 

Another hour passed, and still no sign of (Y/N). Tony had conceded that there could possibly be something other than innocent teenage fun involved. He and Cap had offered to go out and look for her, and after the thousand calls sent to voicemail, he was about ready to send out the whole coast guard. 

His mind was racing in overdrive, various terrible scenarios playing on a loop in his mind. You could have been kidnapped, or in a ditch somewhere! What would your mother do to him if you didn't show up soon, or god forbid, not at all? They would never find his body. The sheer thought of you never returning drove him to his feet. He rushed through the room, grabbing his coat on the way, calling out instructions as he headed for the elevators.

“Tony, I want you to start scanning for (Y/N)’s cell phone activity, I know that it’s off right now, but I need a complete history of where she was before it shut off. Try and see if you can’t track her movements through security cameras around the city.”

“You got it boss” Tony nodded turning away to pull up a holo-screen. Hacking into the security feeds was technically illegal, but he didn't mind doing it. They all loved (Y/N), and would do anything to get her home safe. “I’ll come with you.” Steve said, following after Clint. Clint nodded in appreciation, reaching the elevators and quickly pressing the arrow. His foot tapping impatiently as he waited.

“I swear to god Cap, if she is hurt… I’m going to find that-” “SON-OF-A-BITCH!” the elevator doors parted to reveal a bloody and very pissed (Y/N).

There was a brief moment where no one spoke. The two Bartons simply stared at each other. Clint took in the sight of his daughter, her face was clouded with anger, flecks of blood coating her arms and hands. There was a rip in the new shirt which now looked like it had seen war.

Clint rushed forward, not able to contain the sigh of relief that escaped from him as he enveloped her in a crushing embrace.

“Jesus Christ kid…”  he exhaled into her hair trying to hide the tremble in his voice. He pulled away, taking her face in both of his hands, scanning her for any injuries. “ are you okay? Where are you hurt? Tell me what happened.” Clint fired off quickly, moving to examine the rest of her limbs to find the source of the blood. 

“Dad… dad I’m-” (Y/N) tried to say but was cut off by her frantic father dragging her form the elevator, poking and prodding her for injuries. 

She couldn’t help but chuckle, reaching out to grasp her dad’s hand before he could run off to grab the med kit. Clint stopped, looking back, confused by the gentle smile on her face.

“Dad I’m fine, I’m not hurt.” she explained giving his hand a light squeeze. 

“But the blood and-” (Y/N) chuckled once again, shaking her head.

“It’s not mine.” she said simply. Clint’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, prompting another gentle laugh from his amused daughter. “It’s his.” she said stepping to the side, gesturing to Steve, who was busy hauling an unconscious and bloodied man out of the elevator. He set him on the ground where the man groaned in pain, only shifting slightly.

“Oh…” Clint said looking at the man, who was beaten to a pulp and obviously having a very rough day. He wondered how this happened, then he looked to his daughter, who watched the man with viheminance, her scraped knuckles clenched at her sides. Then it clicked. “OHHH!”

“Yea,” (Y/N) replied exhaling roughly and turning back to Clint. “long story short, he got a little handsy, and when I told him no, he took my phone and tried to be tough by smashing it” she proceeded to pull out small bits of broken phone from her pocket, showing them to her dad, and placing them on the table as though she needed evidence to support her story. “Needless to say, this attitude earned him a righteous ass beating.” Clint watched her as she ran a thumb over the scabs that had hardly formed on her knuckles, looking more like a shameful child than the woman who left a grown man bleeding on the floor.

“Sorry I brought him here, I didn’t think I hit him that hard but next thing I knew he went limp and…” the man on the floor coughed and spit out what appeared to be a tooth. Clint’s eyes widened slightly before looking back to (Y/N). Pride welled up inside of him as he watched his daughter, who was still so concerned about a man he would have killed. He reached out and wrapped her in his arms again, holding her tightly as she buried her face in his shirt.

“It’s okay kiddo, you’re not in any trouble. You did the right thing.” he said stroking her hair smiling to himself. “He’s lucky it was you and not me. Would have been a lot worse for all of us.” he mused earning a chuckle form (Y/N). He held her tightly, proud beyond belief of the beautiful and strong woman he had raised. He placed a small kiss on the top of her head before pulling away, whipping a small dot of blood from her cheek. 

“Now let’s get you cleaned up, if your mother sees you like this, your date is not going to be the only one bleeding on the floor.” he joked earning another laugh, despite the fact that he knew the statement could not have been truer. 

[dannybnnt]

Goodbyes and New Beginnings

Summary: Daniel and Isley go to New York so Daniel can claim what is his before he sells the house. He gets some bad news. 

Daniel-Last Saturday at 9:52 PM

Walking up to the house he was about to sell felt a little surreal, especially with Isley in tow. It was hard to believe that this was the final step in letting go of his old life. "I have so much shit here that I don't know what to do with. I might have to buy a house in Chicago just so I don't have to sell everything here." He said as he unlocked the door and walked into the house. He looked around with a sigh, trying to decide where to start.

Isley-Last Saturday at 10:02 PM

Isley hadn't said much as they arrived at the house, she didn't know what to say. She was glad when he spoke first. "You could get a new house, actually, it seems to be easy for you." She followed him inside, taking it in. This is where he had spent his life with Avery. Isley felt like an intruder.

Daniel-Last Saturday at 10:08 PM

"Yeah,  I guess I could look into it. I mean, I have cars and all kinds of stuff that I can't just leave with someone." He sighed and started up the stairs. "I have a buddy with a truck coming to get everything later, I just need to decide what I'm taking."

Isley-Last Saturday at 10:23 PM

"You have more cars?" Isley asked incredulously, following him up the stairs. "Yeah, those won't fit in the spare bedroom or a storage unit. Alright, let's get to it then. Where should we start?"

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:00 PM

"I only have one that I'm attached to but yeah." He shrugged. "Well, I want everything in the gym since I used it. Other than her yoga shit, she can have that. I think the only rooms I really need to go through are the storage room and my bedroom. I won't make you go through the bedroom with me though, that might be weird." He said as he led her up both flights of stairs to a room.

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:02 PM

"Jesus fucking Christ, Daniel..." Isley muttered as they walked around the house. "I mean, I knew you had money, but...Jesus fucking Christ!" She exclaimed this time, in complete shock of the house.

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:04 PM

Daniel chuckled as he opened the door. "It probably seems ridiculous that we lived here just the two of us." He scrunched his nose.

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:04 PM

"Yeah, it kind of does. My whole apartment could fit in your foyer." Isley said with a blush, suddenly embarrassed of how broke she really was.

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:06 PM

"This house just felt perfect at the time,  ya know? It was a good situation. But it did cost me more to have cleaned all the time." He laughed softly, turning the light on to expose boxes upon boxes. "Ugh, I don't know if I even want to go through this all. It's just like... Stuff from when I was a kid and whatever I got sick of I threw up here. Maybe I'll just take it all and deal with it later."

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:09 PM

She shrugged. "Whatever you want to do, babe." She hugged herself, still feeling like an intruder and embarrassed.

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:09 PM

He turned to face her and gave her a small smile. "You okay?"

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:10 PM

She smiled back at him. "All good over here. So should we get started?"

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:11 PM

Daniel nodded his head and began to go through the boxes. As he moved through the boxes, his phone rang several times but Daniel ignored it. When the person called back a third time, he sighed and pulled it out of his pocket, his eyebrows furrowing. "It's Genevieve." He said, surprised.

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:12 PM

Isley opened up her own box, laughing at some of the things she found inside. But when Daniel said Genevieve was calling, Isley moved over to him, her eyebrows furrowed. "Huh. Pick up."(edited)

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:45 PM

He slid the green call button over and brought the phone to his ear. "Hello?" He greeted her curiously, though he wished he hadn't when he heard her on the other end crying, telling him that she was in the hospital and that she had been trying to call him all day. "Is everything okay?" He asked, to be met with a loud no, followed by her telling him that she lost the baby.  For a long moment, he didn't speak as his brain registered what she was telling him. He had just turned his life around because of this child, he had thought he was finally going to be a father and all too soon it was being torn out from under him. He wanted to ask her if there was anything he could do for her but his brain was so far behind. He hung up, his hand loosely holding the phone as he tried to gather his thoughts. Finally, he shoved his phone back into his pocket and went back to going through the boxes.(edited)

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:49 PM

Isley stared as they talked on the phone. Something was wrong, she could hear Gen screaming even though it wasn’t on speakerphone. It was too distorted to make out her words though. Isley watched, riddled with worry as Daniel’s face fell and he went pale. She placed a hand on his shoulder to get his attention because he had gone back to the boxes. “Hey, what happened?” She asked gently.(edited)

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:49 PM

Daniel wasn't sure he could talk about it right then without breaking down. He shook his head "I just need to get this done."

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:52 PM

“Daniel...this can wait.” She didn’t want to push him because she was afraid he’d get mad, but she was also more worried about him than before.

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:54 PM

He stopped, his hand on a box as he took a moment to collect himself. "She lost the baby." He said calmly, his eyes still on the task in front of him.

Isley-Last Saturday at 11:56 PM

Isley’s jaw dropped, and tears sprang to her eyes for Daniel. “I...” Isley said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Daniel, look at me. Come here.”

Daniel-Last Saturday at 11:57 PM

He shook his head "I can't do this right now." He had to focus on saying goodbye to one thing at a time but he made no attempt to move, hating that feeling her head on his shoulder was making him crave affection and consolation.March 11, 2018

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:00 AM

Isley didn’t know what to do. Should she let him push down his feelings until later? The fact that he didn’t start moving yet told her that maybe he needed her more than he was willing to admit. So instead, she got on her knees and wrapped her arms around him from behind, holding him.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:02 AM

He took in a deep breath, his head ducking as he struggled against himself. "Fuck. I knew I should have talked to her about drinking and shit...." He kicked the box at his feet away from him.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:03 AM

As he gave in to her, Isley moved around to sit in his lap and wrap her arms around his neck this time. “It’s not your fault, Daniel, she probably wouldn’t have listened to you anyway. It’s not your fault.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:05 AM

His arms wrapped around her "It is my fault. I fucked everything up."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:06 AM

“No, baby, no.” Isley whispered, holding him tighter to her. “You couldn’t control it, you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:09 AM

Daniel had done a lot of things wrong, from sleeping with Genevieve in the first place to hurting Avery by getting another woman pregnant. There was so much he could have avoided had he not been so reckless. He hid his face against her shoulder as tears threatened to escape, something that he refused to have happen.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:13 AM

“It’s okay, Daniel, it wasn’t your fault.” Isley continued to whisper soothing words into his ear as she subconsciously started to rock them back and forth.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:15 AM

Part of himself was focused on the fact that he had allowed himself to get so emotional in front of someone but he was so focused on all of the other things going on that he was excusing it for the moment. He pulled his head away but still refused to look at her. "We should leave. I don't want to do this here."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:17 AM

“Okay. I’ll drive.” Isley said, not wanting to push him anymore. Before getting up, she pulled him to her once more in a hug, pressing a long kiss to his neck just as a way to show him she cared.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:21 AM

Daniel stood and hugged her back before walking to the box he had kicked and carefully picking up its contents to put it away. "I'm just going to let Avery go through all of this and keep whatever she doesn't want." He said as he put the box in its place.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:23 AM

“Yeah, okay.” Isley nodded, taking his hand after he righted the box and leading him out of the house.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:24 AM

"I'm sorry that we wasted a trip to New York. Maybe I'll come back later alone and deal with things. I don't know." he apologized, walking out of the house. He got into the car, still feeling like he was in shock.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:31 AM

“Hey, no apology necessary.” She said, keeping her tone flat because she wasn’t sure how to act. She started the car and began to drive, looking over at him every once in a while.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:37 AM

Daniel was quiet as they drove. He had always struggled with dealing with emotions. His parents had always pounded the idea into his head that he needed to keep things to himself and for the most part, he always had up until the past year. With everything going on though, it was getting harder and harder to push things down and not feel them. When they got to the hotel they were staying at, he stayed quiet until they were in the room. He sat on the edge of the bed, his eyes on the black TV screen. "I really hope this is the end of shitty things happening for a while."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:38 AM

Isley didn’t say anything the whole car ride back to the hotel. She wanted to give him space, but she also had nowhere to go. When they got to the room and he sat down, Isley crawled into bed. “Me too, baby. Come lay down.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:39 AM

He kicked his shoes off and moved up the bed to lay beside her. "I shouldn't have asked you to come to New York. This has been a disaster." He ran his hand over her hair. "I'm going to make things good for you soon, I promise."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:41 AM

“I’m glad you did. I’d hate for you to have to go through this alone.” She snuggled into him. “And you don’t need to make anything good for me. I’m here for the bad parts, too. I want it all with you.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:42 AM

"It's been all bad though. This is why I had been trying to hold off on all of this with you. I'm just a shit show right now and you deserve so much better than that."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:43 AM

“It hasn’t been all bad, Daniel. And I don’t want you to hold off. You don’t have to protect me from your life, especially not if you want me to be a part of it. And what people deserve is bullshit, I want you.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:45 AM

He considered what she said for a moment before leaning over to give her a kiss. "Maybe I wasn't meant to be a father."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:47 AM

Isley smiled as she kissed him, glad that he wasn’t going to argue with her about that. “I don’t think that’s true. Remember my dream in Vermont? You’re gonna have 2 and a half kids.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:48 AM

"I don't know, Isley. Fate keeps intervening on me." He said softly.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:49 AM

“Maybe it’s just been the wrong time or the wrong person. I know you’re gonna be a dad one day, baby, and a great one. I promise.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:51 AM

He nodded his head, though right now he wasn't sure that she was right. "I hope Genevieve is okay. I kind of hung up on her."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:52 AM

“She’ll be okay. She wanted nothing to do with you emotionally before, anyways, and it’s her fault.” Isley replied bitterly, angry that Genevieve had taken Daniel’s baby from him.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:53 AM

"I wish I wouldn't have met her. Things could have been so much different.."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:54 AM

“Well there’s no point in thinking like that. We only have what’s here and now, which is us.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:55 AM

"You're right. You're what matters most." He said seriously.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:57 AM

“We. We’re what matters most.” She corrected. She hadn’t necessarily meant that she was more important than anything else, but when Daniel said it, her heart leapt.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:58 AM

"I really feel like I've lost or given up everything but you. I guess this is a forced fresh start."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:00 AM

“I’m not gonna let you lose or give up on me, either.” Isley said with a small smile. “That’s a good way to look at it, I guess. The next time you start a family it’ll be with someone you truly love and your kids will have parents who are in love.” She pointed out.(edited)

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:02 AM

He nodded his head "gen and I couldn't have been good parents to this baby. We could hardly hold a conversation together. So you're right."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:03 AM

“I’m sure you would have been a good parent, but I’m not sure she would have been.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 6:51 AM

"Together I think it would have just been a mess." He shrugged.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:47 AM

“Well one day you’ll have a family and it won’t be a mess.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:49 AM

"I hope so." He said softly. "We should go do something. I don't want to sit here and dwell on shit."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:49 AM

“Whatever you want, baby. What should we do?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:54 AM

"Something with lots of alcohol."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:58 AM

“But also that ends in sex. Last time we got drunk there was no sex.” Isley laughed, attempting to lighten the mood.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:59 AM

"I don't think sex would be very fun right now." he admitted as he sat up.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:59 AM

“I don’t mean right now. Maybe later.” She said weakly, her attempt failing.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:01 PM

He turned and leaned down so he could kiss her "God, I'm sorry... I'm really fucking bad at dealing with things."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:05 PM

Isley kissed him back with a soft smile. “There’s no right way to deal with it.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:05 PM

"I know, I just feel like... I don't know. I don't know how I should feel right now.'

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:07 PM

“Whatever you’re feeling is what you should be feeling.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:17 PM

Daniel nodded his head slowly "I wish we wouldn't have told everyone she was pregnant."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:24 PM

“Did you tell your dad?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:24 PM

"Yes, I had to for the mediation."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:27 PM

“Right, sorry. Well, maybe this could be a chance for you and your dad to develop a new relationship.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:28 PM

"I don't think so. I mean, I think he might be happy that I am not having a baby out of wedlock.. Again."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:30 PM

“So what should we do?” She asked, changing the topic.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:31 PM

He shrugged "I don't know. I could see what one of my friends are up to and we could just go tag along."

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:32 PM

“Sure, I’d love to meet some of your friends.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:34 PM

"Cool. I can't promise that what they're doing is interesting." He said with a chuckle as he pulled his phone out.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:37 PM

“More interesting than sitting in a hotel room.” She shrugged. “I’m gonna shower.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:44 PM

He nodded his head, feeling bad for bringing her on the trip when it was nothing fun at all. He sat back on the bed texted his friends to see what they were doing before placing his head in his hands.

Isley-Last Sunday at 12:51 PM

Isley showered with the water as hot would go, washing off the events of the day. She finished quickly, though, and reentered the bedroom wrapped in a towel. She plopped herself down on Daniel’s lap, forcing him to pick his head up. “Any response?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 12:57 PM

He wrapped his arms around her, "Yeah.. A few.. I don't know. Are you sure you want to hang out with my friends? We can do something you want to do."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:03 PM

“This is what I want to do, babe. I wanna be part of your life.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:04 PM

"Alright.. But be ready to judge me." He joked. "Do I need to shower?" He asked, turning his head to smell by his armpit.

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:05 PM

Isley laughed, then dipped her head to smell his armpit. “Yeah,” She said nodding and standing up to get ready.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:12 PM

He sighed as he got up and moved to the bathroom to shower, trying to decide what they should do. His best friend was golfing, so he figured they could go to the country club and hang out. He wasn't sure that Isley would enjoy that but she did say she wanted to be a part of his life. He stepped out of the shower and dried off before heading into the room naked and finding clean clothes to wear. "My best friend is at a country club golfing. He has a girlfriend that you might like. Does that sound interesting at all?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:20 PM

If Isley was being honest, the thought of going to a country club scared the shit out of her. But she really did want to become a part of his life, so she said, “Yeah that sounds great, babe. Do us gir-“ Isley cut herself short. She was about to call herself his girlfriend. “Us women golf too or do we just sit there and look pretty?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:20 PM

"I don't know if I wanna golf." He said with a chuckle. "If we do end up golfing though, of course you can join in. I was thinking we could just get lunch and hang out with some drinks."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:23 PM

“Oh, yeah, I knew that.” Isley said, waving a hand dismissively. “So...what does one wear to this?” Isley asked, embarrassed that she was so ignorant about his lifestyle.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:31 PM

"They have a dress code, unfortunately. No jeans." He scrunched his nose.

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:32 PM

“Oh, shit. How much time do we have?” Isley asked.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:33 PM

"We can go whenever. We can even go shopping first if you want. I'll buy you something."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:33 PM

“I do need to go shopping, but you’re not buying.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:33 PM

"Yes I am." He insisted as he pulled his clothes on.

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:34 PM

Isley followed his lead and dressed. “Okay then, we don’t need to go shopping.” She said stubbornly.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:34 PM

"Why can't I pay for things?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:42 PM

She thought for a moment, then shrugged. “I...well I don’t know. I just feel bad, like I’m taking advantage of you and your money or something. I’m just not used to people buying me things.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:45 PM

"I don't want you to feel like you should want to be dependent on me but I mean... I  can take care of things. "

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:47 PM

“Why do you want to buy things for me? First rent, and now clothes.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 1:49 PM

He shrugged "I don't know, I just thought those things would make you happy."

Isley-Last Sunday at 1:52 PM

“I mean, it would just make me feel like a charity case or something. But how about this-just this once, you can buy me an outfit. I’m gonna need your help to pick it out anyway.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 2:09 PM

"You're not a charity case if your boy- if I buy you stuff. It's not like that." He assured her as he buttoned his shirt.

Isley-Last Sunday at 2:12 PM

“Okay. Just this once.” She said, pulling a sweater and her shoes on.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 2:13 PM

"Okay.." He shook his head, not understanding why she had such a problem with it. He finished getting dressed and went to the bathroom to comb his hair.

Isley-Last Sunday at 2:15 PM

Isley threw her hair up into a bun and swiped some makeup on, figuring she could finish before they actually left to meet his friends. Grabbing her purse and coat, she asked, “Ready?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 2:16 PM

Nodding his head, he made sure he had his keys before he walked back out to his car. "Where do you wanna go?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 2:18 PM

“Babe, I’ve only been to New York once before and it was for a business trip with you. I don’t know where anything is or what places are good to shop at.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 2:31 PM

"I'm not a woman." He said with a laugh. "Let's just see what we find."

Isley-Last Sunday at 3:22 PM

"Deal." She agreed with a nod as they got in the car.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 3:47 PM

Daniel began to drive "Or you could Google some places. I'm trying to think of the one that Avery really liked.. I fucking hated it because she would choose the nerdiest clothes for me. Um.." he sighed, trying to decide the name. "Lord and Taylor?"

Isley-Last Sunday at 5:35 PM

“Well this time you’re doing the choosing.” She countered. “Yeah, it says we’re actually really close to that one, so we might as well go there first.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 5:41 PM

"That sounds like a plan to me." He said send focused on driving there. When they arrived, he turned to look at her. "Are you sure this is how you want to spend the day? We could just spend time together, you and me."

Isley-Last Sunday at 5:46 PM

Isley smiled at him. It was sweet that he wanted her to be comfortable, but she really wanted him to be happy and she thought that seeing old friends might help. Plus, like she told him earlier, she wanted to meet his friends and be a part of his life, even his New York life. “Yeah, don’t you want to see your friends?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 5:52 PM

"I do but... I don't know. I guess I'm feeling embarrassed that my life is so shitty because everyone else has it together. I dont know if I actually feel like pretending I'm doing great."

Isley-Last Sunday at 5:54 PM

“First of all, I doubt that everyone else has it together. But I understand not wanting to put on a facade. It’s up to you what we do, love.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 5:57 PM

"What if we invite them out to dinner? That way it will be just the one person I want tk see."

Isley-Last Sunday at 5:58 PM

"Perfect. I'm assuming this is going to be a relatively fancy dinner?"

Daniel-Last Sunday at 5:59 PM

"Yeah, we will have to get dressed up a little."

Isley-Last Sunday at 6:03 PM

That meant they still needed to go shopping. If she was being honest, Isley was a little excited to dress up with Daniel. "A dress it is. Or would you prefer a skirt?"

Daniel-Last Sunday at 6:07 PM

He got put of the car and grabbed her hand as they walked in. "That's up to you, baby."

Isley-Last Sunday at 6:12 PM

As they walked in and looked around the store, Isley felt a little overwhelmed. "I kind of feel like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman." She commented with a laugh.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 7:05 PM

"Less of a prostitute though." He teased.

Isley-Last Sunday at 7:36 PM

“Debatable.” She shrugged, bumping her hip against his.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 7:42 PM

"I have better taste than that." He scoffed as he followed the signs upstairs to the dresses.

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:26 PM

“I’m honored.”  She said, trailing behind him. “What about this?” She asked, pulling out a tweed dress

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:27 PM

"Do you like that one?" He asked, looking around for a different dress.

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:27 PM

“Meh.” She shrugged. “I’m not very good at this.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:48 PM

Daniel looked around, pulling dresses out and trying to decide. "What about this one?" He asked as he pulled a black dress out.

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:50 PM

When she saw the dress that Dan was holding up, Isley immediately put back the dress she had. “Yes, I love that!” She said, grabbing the dress from him.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:51 PM

"Do you wanna go try it on?" He asked with a smile.

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:52 PM

“Yeah!” She exclaimed enthusiastically, going to the dressing rooms.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 10:56 PM

Dan stood outside of the dressing room while she tried the dress on. When he heard his name from behind him, he turned with furrowed eyebrows. "Well, look who it is." A woman with long black hair walked up to him. He made no attempt to hide the fact that he was not happy to see Avery's best friend Harper. She had always been his least favorite person and now he didn't even have to pretend. "All the stores in New York and I run into you." He said with a sarcastic smile. "Luke and I are celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary tonight, so I'm here picking out a dress." She said with a small scoff. Daniel could feel the undertone of her statement so he shrugged "10 years and only two affairs. Impressive." He said, his tone unimpressed as he looked at a dress that was hanging on a rack nearby.

Isley-Last Sunday at 10:58 PM

Isley walked out of the dressing room once she had the dress on. She loved it. Daniel had done a great job of picking it out. “What do you think, baby?” Isley asked as she walked out, before seeing that he was talking to a beautiful woman with long black hair. “Oh, hi. I’m Isley.” She introduced herself to the woman sheepishly.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:06 PM

When Isley stepped out, he tensed up more in knowing the moment was about to get a lot worse. Harper gave Daniel and amused smile. "I'm Harper. Danny and I have been friends for years." Daniel shook his head in disagreement at that. "Shouldn't you be like, getting ready for your anniversary or bathing in blood or whatever it is you do?" He asked and Harper rolled her eyes. "Does Avery know about this?" She gestured to Isley. "It's none of her business, is it? Papers are signed. Maybe you should focus more on who your husband is sleeping with instead of your best friend's for once." And at that the woman walked away. Daniel sighed "I'm so sorry about that. She's the fucking worst."(edited)

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:15 PM

Isley stood in shock as the two went back and forth. When the stranger walked away, she turned to Dan. "So what was that about?"

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:16 PM

"I don't know." He shook his head. "Does that dress work? We should get out of here."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:21 PM

Usually, Isley would have asked what Daniel thought of the dress. But he seemed so spooked that she didn’t say anything else. “Yeah, I love this dress. Who was she?” She asked as she walked back to the dressing rooms.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:22 PM

"One of Avery's friends." He shrugged.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:24 PM

“Oh.” Isley replied from behind the dressing room door. ”Are you okay?”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:25 PM

"I'm fine. It's just annoying. "

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:26 PM

“Okay, baby. Well I love this dress.” She redressed and exited the room with the dress.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:29 PM

Daniel stayed by the door this time, not wanting to risk seeing someone else he knew. He had never in his life felt self conscious or worried about seeing people. This was a weird feeling and he was wondering if he just had too much going on that day to get through it without everything bothering him. He didn't dare tell Isley that he didn't want to go out. Maybe, he decided, he could just distract her. He paid for the dress and headed out to the car. Once he was on the road, he moved his hand over to her leg. "I can't wait to see you in that dress again. It looks so sexy on you."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:34 PM

Somehow, Isley felt ashamed about being with Dan. Or rather, she felt that Daniel was ashamed of her. When they got back on the road,though, his hand on her thigh distracted her. ”Yeah? I didn’t think you noticed.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:35 PM

"Of course I did. You always have my attention." He squeezed her knee.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:36 PM

“Good. I like it that way.” She replied, hoping his hand would inch up.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:37 PM

"I'm glad you do because I might be a little obsessed." He joked as he moved his hand up her thigh.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:38 PM

Isley’s knees parted ever so slightly as his hand moved. ”I hope you stay that way forever.” She replied, her voice slightly breathless.(edited)

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:40 PM

"I know I will. You're so hot. I just want you all the time." He let his hand move further as he spoke.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:41 PM

Her eyes fluttered shut. “Damnit, Daniel...” she muttered as his hands got closer to her sex, but still felt so far.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:42 PM

"Didn't I tell you to start wearing skirts for me?" He teased. "It's been like a whole week since I've been inside of you and that just is not working for me."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:44 PM

“Good thing I just got a dress, then.” She countered, her legs fully spread. “Fuck, you might have to pull over again.” She grew even more aroused at his words.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:46 PM

"The city is too busy, baby. We gotta make it to the hotel." He said, though the tightness of his pants was disagreeing with him. "Unbutton your jeans." He demanded.

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:48 PM

“Yes, sir.” Isley nodded at his words, her eyes still closed. She did as she said and unbuttoned her jeans, inching them slightly lower.

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:49 PM

He knew he shouldn't let himself get too distracted while he was driving but he couldn't help it now. His hand moved under her jeans and her panties so he could rub her clit. "Mmm.. Fuck. I love it when you're wet for me like this."

Isley-Last Sunday at 11:50 PM

“Daniel...” Isley moaned as his fingers made their way into her panties. “Jesus, I want your cock so bad.”

Daniel-Last Sunday at 11:59 PM

"You're getting me so hard." He said before biting his lip.March 12, 2018

Isley-Last Monday at 12:02 AM

“Hurry,” Isley ordered, reaching across the console to rub his hard member.(edited)

Daniel-Last Monday at 12:05 AM

"Okay, I gotta have my hand back before I get pulled over." He moved his hand back to the wheel to focus on driving to the hotel. When they got to the parking lot, he got out and walked to her side to open her door for her, his hand moving to her ass until they were in the building.

Isley-Last Monday at 9:02 AM

Isley groaned in displeasure as he removed his hand, then followed him through the hotel. She smirked conspiratorially at Daniel as they entered the building. She loved the possessive way Dan’s hand gripped her ass as they walked. When they got to the elevator, Isley jammed the button aggressively. “Come on..” she muttered.

Daniel-Last Monday at 9:09 AM

Daniel wrapped his arms around her from behind as she pressed the elevator buttons. "Just make out with me a little while we wait." He didn't want to get too hot and heavy but a little couldn't hurt.

Isley-Last Monday at 9:18 AM

Obeying his order, Isley twisted around in his arms and heatedly pressed her lips to his.

Daniel-Last Monday at 9:25 AM

He smirked against her lips as he pulled her tightly against him, his lips moving against hers. When the elevator doors opened, he pulled away from her and grabbed her hand until he got them into their room. He led her to the bed before pushing her back onto and once again getting her jeans undone.

Isley-Last Monday at 9:38 AM

Isley gasped as he pushed her onto the bed, her eyelids heavy with lust. As he took off her jeans, she gripped his hair, just trying to touch him. “Daniel, I need you.” She moaned.

Daniel-Last Monday at 9:39 AM

"You'll have me, baby." He said as he moved to his knees on the side of the bed, his lips moving to her thighs.

Isley-Last Monday at 9:45 AM

Her breath started coming in pants as the anticipation flowed through her veins. Her hands in his hair tightened, pulling lightly.

Daniel-Last Monday at 9:50 AM

He struggled getting her pants off her ankles as he focused on teasing her. When he finally did, he moved between her legs and pressed his tongue against her over her panties.

Isley-Last Monday at 9:56 AM

“Please, Daniel.” She said breathlessly, circling her hips against his mouth

Daniel-Last Monday at 10:01 AM

Daniel pushed her panties to the side so he could press his tongue against her clit. As he began to work her, he moved his hand to his jeans to unbutton them.(edited)

Isley-Last Monday at 10:04 AM

A slight scream tore through her throat as his tongue finally made contact with her clit. Her hands moved from his hair to grip the side of the bed. “Jesus, I’m already close.” Thankfully, Daniel began to unbutton his jeans.

Daniel-Last Monday at 10:06 AM

He wanted to get her off first, so he focused his attention on her clit while he pressed a finger into her. Once his jeans were unbuttoned, his hand moved to her stomach to hold her against the bed.

Isley-Last Monday at 10:10 AM

Isley started to squirm as he worked her, meaningful with every flick of his tongue and pump of his finger. Her hips began to move out of her control, his hand on her stomach the only thing keeping her down. Finally, orgasm washed over her. “Daniel...” she moaned as she came, her hips circling  as she rode out her orgasm.

Daniel-Last Monday at 10:14 AM

He waited until he was sure she was finished before he stood up and got his pants off, his shirt going as well because he was hot. He moved over her, his lips finding hers in a passionate kiss.

Isley-Last Monday at 10:19 AM

Her hands trailed all over Daniel’s body.  She could taste herself on his lips, only turning her on even more. “I taste good on you, baby.” She muttered against his lips, her hand going between them to stroke his cock.

Daniel-Last Monday at 10:21 AM

"You're so fucking hot." He pushed his hips into her hand. "I can't wait to be inside of you."

Isley-Last Monday at 10:28 AM

She pumped him a few more times before saying, “I need you inside me, now.” She begged.

Daniel-Last Monday at 10:33 AM

Daniel lined himself up with her opening and pushed into her. He slowly filled her before he began thrusting into her, his lips on hers heatedly.

Isley-Last Monday at 10:39 AM

“Fuck!” She screamed lightly, hitching her legs up and wrapping them around his waist. She bit his lip roughly.

Daniel-Last Monday at 11:14 AM

He had planned to draw this out more but Isley's teeth on his lip urged him to push his hips harder into her. He pulled away just enough that he could get a grip on her leg to bring it to his shoulder, wanting to be deeper.

Isley-Last Monday at 11:59 AM

With her leg up in his shoulder, Isley swore she could feel Daniel at her belly button. She couldn’t control her moans as she gripped Daniel’s shoulders and raked her nails down his back.

Daniel-Last Monday at 12:04 PM

With all the foreplay, Daniel had been on the urge of exploding from the moment he entered her. His eyes fell on hers as he pumped into her. "Fuck baby.. I'm gonna cum."

Isley-Last Monday at 5:26 PM

“Cum, baby.” She ordered, lifting her hips to meet his with every thrust, taking him as deep as she could. She reached one hand down between them and rubbed her clit, bringing herself to a second orgasm around him.

Daniel-Last Monday at 5:49 PM

Daniel pushed against her until he came undone with a low groan. He let her leg drop before leaning down to press kisses to her chest.

Isley-Last Monday at 5:56 PM

Isley panted heavily as they both came and Daniel collapsed onto her. “Hi,” She said breathlessly, stroking his hair.

Daniel-Last Monday at 5:58 PM

"Hello." he grinned at her before pulling out of her so he could roll to lay beside her.(edited)March 13, 2018

Isley-Last Tuesday at 11:39 AM

She rolled over, resting her head on his chest. “Well that was fun.”

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 1:11 PM

"Yes, it was." he ran his hand over back. "it's always fun with you."

Isley-Last Tuesday at 4:30 PM

“Do you think we should shower again before dinner?”

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 4:31 PM

"We should just stay here and do some more of that."

Isley-Last Tuesday at 4:33 PM

Isley laughed at his suggestion. “Normally I’d be all for that, but you just bought me a dress for this, so....”

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 4:33 PM

"Who cares about the dress?"

Isley-Last Tuesday at 4:39 PM

“You just convinced me to let you buy me something. There is no way I’m letting that dress go to waste.” She countered pointedly.

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 4:48 PM

"It's not like you'll never wear it. We go out all the time."

Isley-Last Tuesday at 4:48 PM

"Yeah, but never to places where this dress is acceptable."

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 5:08 PM

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "Alright we can shower and go."

Isley-Last Tuesday at 5:59 PM

"Oh hush, you know I'm right." Isley said, sitting up and going to the bathroom to start the shower.(edited)

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 6:01 PM

He had thought he could distract her from going out that night but Isley was not easily persuaded. He got up after a moment and followed her to the bathroom, stepping into the shower and rinsing off under the water.

Isley-Last Tuesday at 6:08 PM

Since they showered that morning, Isley didn't bother actually washing herself with soap, instead just scrubbing herself off under the water. When she finished, she pecked him on the lips and wrapped herself in a towel, then started to blow dry her hair.

Daniel-Last Tuesday at 6:14 PM

Daniel decided to hang out in the shower longer, enjoying the warmth. When he finally got out he got dressed and in a suit and brushed his hair back. Now that it had grown out a little, it looked messy easier. "should I get another haircut?"

[dekumidoriyall]

One of the hardest things about sharing a space with someone is the transparency that kinda comes with it. It's harder to hide your bad hair days or your bad moods, mostly your truest selves.

However, that's not bad in itself, it's refreshing at the end of it all. During January I was fighting against the current i think (not to say don't fight against every current, there are some you should flow with and some you shouldn't). I didn't want my truest and emotional self to show and it was a struggle coming "home" and it felt like I couldn't unwind. I put home in quotes because at the beginning of the year I didn't call it that just bc it wasn't to me quite yet. Even when talking about it then, I would say the house or something along those lines.

Anyway, I was an emotional wreck in January. There was strife so much in my life and relationships and it wasn't even my truest self, it was the byproduct of not being transparent, of having to be "on" all the time. Which backfired by creating a burnout in me which turned me kinda bitter and I would say one of my least favorite versions of myself that I could be.

God is doing a great work in me though. Although my depression days are some of the toughest (though not as bad as the suicidal depression I used to have), they have lessened since January, and I still feel mentally stronger in some of those moments. The biggest thing however, is God's ability to move and talk through people. And no one has ever been able to get through to me besides that boy, but I honestly think it's a combination of who he is, and most importantly how He is. (capital H means Pops™ [God]) because on one hand, God has opened my heart and ears to be willing to see the weeds Hes trying to pull out of my heart. Causing conflicts to highlight some of the things I can change. I know now I am not bound to who I was or even who I am at this moment, but who I am in Christ, and more importantly who I will be.

And I was struggling so hard to be the jazz that's fun and goofy all the time, and not ever letting myself relax and just be neutral me, that things became chaotic. But God shed light on that and many other things since then. So first there's conflict with the boy which brings to light some shit I was doing. Then god is like hey maybe listen, bc you don't have to be this way.

I literally burnt out so much, not only was i, in turn, not acting like myself, but I was pushing others away. But thank you God, bc the boy was patient anyway and i respect him.enough to take his opinions on me. Bc dad has said some things about me that AJ did, but I don't respect his opinions of me bc he hasn't tried looking past the surface, and the boy does, he sees things a bit more dimensionally, and a lot of people don't.

Once I started treating this place as a home, that there are any facets of me besides fun and good, that I have neutral times too and that I don't have to be "on" all the time, things started progressing. And God started working in me even more. Bc it says in scripture that you can't fix something that doesn't come to light. So by not letting myself be transparent in January it just created more problems plus a roadblock to advancing myself further. So of course I am in no way perfect, but I am striving for a Good Life in the will and ways of God. And I pray even when the going get tough, that I come out stronger and better and honest and transparent.

Anyway March has been a better month except for maybe around my bday when i was EXTRA MOODY ™. I am currently working on better communication and not acting on a feeling.

Example: the highlight of my month so far on the jazz improvement section is that a GIRL called an the other NIGHT and he went all the way outside and the speakers picked it up and this girl isn't even talking anything important, all I hear is all might. And I'm sorry but if you're calling bc you finished a series a boy really liked and talked about at 9 fucking pm, it's cause you kinda like him bc otherwise, send a fucking text. NOW, usually, and what I wanted to do was just get in a funk mood and go to sleep not tell the boy goodnight and honestly, the Lord was like "jazz, that'll make you feel worse, you're gonna have the same discussion you always have with the boy where he gets upset that you're upset and not communicating and then that's TWO problems you'll be upset about. " But He also said "focus on me and my word and my promises" and I was quickly reminded that I don't have to act on what i feel.

So I accepted that I was upset about it, but understood that I shouldn't be. And that I (capital.bold i) get to choose how to handle it. And that is such powerful thinking. So I showered off my bad mood and decided I wouldn't let it affect me in a way that I would in turn hurt myself (mentally or emotionally) or my relationship. And honestly?

I was better for it. Not only did I not cry myself to sleep like I probably would've, I also stopped a cyclical argument that me and ykw have had one too many times. Bc idk if y'all notice, but a lot of y'all's arguments are about the same thing in slightly different ways half the time. And arguments are just a symptom of a deeper issue, like in my case its not really about him being upset that Im upset about his girl friend; but really the underlying issue was that I don't communicate, but I act out in a cold shoulder kinda way (WHICH I AM IN CONTROL OF HOW I ACT, NOT HOW I FEEL). It's a small shift, but redirecting the focus from the symptom to the underlying reason, helps progress things a little better.

And so everyone's a winner when you don't act on how you feel sometimes. I did the opposite, I decided to make some jokes, and be affectionate despite me really wanting to cry. But tbh in the shower I was like if i actually have to fight for the boys attention, it's not worth it. I'm not here to compete with other girls. (God is not going to give me a man who would put me through that, so I know my future is secure, maybe not with the boy but with a man of God. No boy is worth feeling overlooked or underappreciated. No man of God will make you compete for his attention, for some of the fruits of the spirit are love and faithfulness. There's no room for the "fruits" of the flesh like jealousy and anger). So I feel secure in God. And getting to know God better has made a big difference. I know that he isn't circumstancial. HE IS. And that's so good and lovely. He is who he is no matter who I am or who other people are. And He will make all things good, even my mistakes! The enemy thought he won bc Jesus died, but He rose again and defeated death! How good is the Lord! To make what seemed like the worst day, the best thing to ever happen for believers. And God has never not come through. He makes a way where there is none! :) Man I'm all fired up! Lol I guess I kind of went on a Jesus tangent bc I could have never made the decision to not be moody after that call without Him. It was because of my confidence in God (not man or boy) that I was able to act in good faith. And I pray i can handle situations to come like that more often to the point where it's habit :)

[legacyofhopefdn]

Remember when?

At 5:00 am on the day we had to leave Honduras, the kids and I and two precious friends piled into a busito and headed north toward the coast.  As we whizzed by small towns, banana trees, and men on bicycles carrying truckloads of wood, someone kick-started our storytelling tradition with the words, “Remember when…” Long car rides are great for remembering when, even if you’re all smooshed into a busito carrying 15 people across Central America. I loved hearing from my people all about their memories of Silver Dollar City, the beach, what they loved about our house in Georgia, and the funny things they did that they never told me about. The heat, the road noise, the wind from the open windows, and the chitter chatter from the back all add character to a new story the Lord is weaving into the one’s he’s been writing with us, a new story that someone will kickstart one day with the words “remember when…”

Remember when we had to leave Honduras in a hurry and so we smooshed into a busito and drove to Belize? 

We arrived in Honduras on January 19th and entered the country on 90-day visitor’s visas, with the intension of applying for residency during our first 90 days. We weren’t able to file as planned, though.  We just didn’t have enough money. In the months before our move to Honduras, we had created a budget and raised funds, but it didn’t take us long to figure out that we were underfunded. It was a rookie mistake, a first time missionary miscalculation.  At times Dean and I lay next to each other late at night and wondered if our rookie mistake was really a misstep, but then something like this trip to Belize is woven into the storyline and we are certain we’re abiding in the shadow of the Almighty.   

Before we had to go to Belize, we were able to get a 30-day extension on our visas in April.  Dean and I made the trip to San Pedro Sula to make the application to immigration. We left before sunup, and I’m glad because it was a long day filled with copy-making, lines, and waiting. Praise God, we walked out of the immigration office that day with 30 more days to pray and ask for guidance about what to do next. 

When May 14th rolled around and we were still short on funds, we knew that plans had to be made for a trip out of the country.  I spent a quick minute teetering on the edge of panic, in part because we were so confident that this trip would be unnecessary that Dean was in the States attending to some business. I was certain I was going to end up carrying 11 children by myself across the ocean in a banana boat headed for Belize.  I had heard rumors that the boat is nicknamed the Vomit Rocket. Dread began to envelop me as the hours of that Sunday night ticked by. Here’s the thing, I really want to be that girl that was praying and telling the Lord, “I trust you, Lord, Your promises and Your plans, whatever they are,” but there was a moment in the night on May 14th when I was that girl praying, “Please, Lord, no.”  

I woke up on Monday praying.  I was done asking why and peace had replaced the dread from the night before.  That’s one good thing about being awakened by prayer.  When my eyes opened, my friend Lisa immediately came to mind. It was a little odd, actually, because we hadn’t chatted in long while.  There with my head still on my pillow and Lisa’s family floating around up there in my mind, I remembered that she was involved in some mission work in Belize, and since I was thinking about a little boat trip to Belize anyway, it made sense that we should connect.  I shot her a FaceBook message that went a little something like this: “I know this is going to sound like a strange request but I’m needing a little help in Belize.”

When I told Lisa what was going on, she put me in touch with some friends of hers who flung open their doors, set the dinner table, made up the spare beds, and said, “Come on over”, all for some strangers from Honduras. So we did. 

A well-timed, seriously divine, post on social media gave me the idea to try to rent a van instead of taking the boat.  Dean had rented a van before from a lady who lived right around the corner, so I gave her a ring.  I got to thinking about what it would be like to drive across Central America by myself with the kids, so I asked the owner of the van if she had a driver available, and she did!  All the details quickly fell into place, and soon the van and motorista Don Jorge were confirmed. The more the merrier is how we roll, so we asked our friends Ellie and Marta to come along with us, too.  They said, “yes”, of course, because going on an 18-hour car ride across Central America with 11 kids smooshed into a busito sounded like the most fun ever.  By the time we crossed the border and entered Belize, I was certain that God had something important for us there.  If we had been able to apply for our residency, we would’ve missed it since we wouldn’t have needed to go to Belize in the first place.

Have you ever been to Belize?  It’s cooler than a pack of peppermints. Your car will be freshly fumigated for diseases as you exit Guatemala and enter Belize, but don’t scratch your head too long about that strange happening or you’ll miss the tailgate, complete with pickup trucks, coolers, lawn chairs and cases of beer, all going on in the parking lot of Belize’s Border Control.  It was quite the sight, especially after spending all day long in the busito watching banana fields and sweet Guatemalan villages pass by. 

Heads up, it seems a tad unusual for a woman to travel with 11 children across Central America without her husband. God’s hand was upon us, and it all worked out for His glory, but we were detained at border control and customs for a minute or two or 120.  I don’t know what they thought we were up to, but they kept saying, “We’ve just never seen anything like this before.”  I am truly glad they are careful when it comes to the safety of children, especially given that there are some horrible things happening to children in this world.  Eventually they determined we were on the up and up, gave us the entry stamp on our passports, and let us in.  Make sure you have a little money on hand in case you need to tinkle.  It’s about $0.50 a person, which adds up when you have a big group.  Ellie was guarding the little ones while I was detained, and she didn’t have any cash on her.  Thankfully a nice gentleman paid the $5.50 so our people could “go”, because the potty guard wasn’t letting anyone through with no money, no matter what.   

We hit another little snafu as we exited border control.  It seems you cannot drive in Belize without purchasing their insurance policy, even if it’s after 9 pm and there is nothing open.  We had to drive around town looking for someone to sell us insurance before we could head to our destination.  I met a guy in line at the liquor store who knew this guy who sells the insurance.  I know it sounds odd – that I was in line at a liquor store. It’s uncharacteristic of me, I know, but that’s what was open, and I needed to ask for help.  I still can’t believe we did this, but when the guy I met in line at the liquor store told me he knew a guy who sold insurance, I thanked him so much, got back in the van, and we followed him down the dark streets of Belize to a stranger’s house. The stranger wasn’t home but there was this other guy who said could meet us back at the liquor store, so we were able to buy the insurance.  I filled out the forms, paid the guy about $20, and we were on our way again.  I recommend learning the words to the Fruits of the Spirit song before your busito adventure.  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are all needed in abundance, my friends. 

We arrived in Camalote around 11:00 pm. Our phones no longer worked once we crossed into Belize, and there was no where to find WIFI, so we couldn’t call for directions when we couldn’t find our way. No worries though, we pulled into the only place we saw that was open to ask for directions, and they unstacked the chairs and invited us to sit a spell while they called the camp director.  I kept looking at Ellie and thinking, “Oh my, her parents entrusted her to us and within just a few months we’re hanging out in front of the One Barrel Bar.”  The owners were the sweetest and in no time the director of Camalote Camp was there to show us the way. Even though it was almost midnight when we rolled into camp, the staff met us and fed us and made us feel welcome. The beds were made, the AC was hopping, and I fell asleep in utter amazement of what the Lord had for us there.  The body of Christ is the only way to describe our experience.  We met so many Jesus loving people and experienced God’s lovingkindness is so many unexpected ways during the three short days we spent in Belize.

There’s much more to share but this post is already long, so you’ll have to come back for part two.  I always hate it when bloggers do that, but now I get you long-winded bloggers and your two parted posts. Sometimes the story is just too good to skip parts to make it fit in one post.  Glory be to God for getting us to Camalote Camp. 

The post Remember when? appeared first on Legacy of Hope Foundation.

from Remember when?

[survivorsolomonislands]

Episode 11 “BUT IM SAfE” (Lexi)

johnny: i love allie so much. we must save you both 4 votes zak 3 votes aro. we will make it johnny: flips and gets himself voted out why do i always align with the stupid people. i really want to know.

*continues to sip my rum bitterly* Pretty sure if I lose this immunity I'm going home next. I honestly don't trust a single person in this game anymore, not that I had a lot of trust with anyone to begin with but y'know. Johnny was one of the few people I felt I could work with, and I'm on the fence about Ryan now, he came to me about the vote about Johnny and I told him I breaking up a group would be better and now Johnny is gone. Mitchell is saying it was Ryan, Ryan is saying Mitchell already had it planned out before, and Willow is saying Johnny was a threat. I mean I think it was Mitchell's and WIllow's groups but I can't be sure. The only thing I can be sure about is I'm on the bottom here.

(a little bit later)

UPDATE: there is no way in hell i'm winning this challenge.

Welp... it took 3 fuckin seasons but i think i'm finally... in a power position on tumblevivor. I think i'm finally fuckin on top. And tru, I was a significant power player in both Machu Picchu's and Malaysia's pre-merges, but by the time the merge came, I was unsuccessful both times in forging a legitimate and feasible path to the end of this game. After Matt was voted out, I cursed my luck - AGAIN i had failed. AGAIN i was to wait and watch my ally's be picked off by Allie's. But then Willow came, changed it all, and we pulled off the biggest fucking move of this game - which I orchestrated - by taking out Johnny. And just as you'd imagine, the whole game fucking opened up. Willow and I've got a F3 with Allie, a F4 with Aro and Zak, and now I've got people coming to ME. Wanting to work with ME. Because, for now, I'm on top. And when that happens, people are going to want to tear you down, so immunity is now more important than ever... as is this next vote. I need to keep myself shored up as well as possible. My 3-way alliance chat w Aro and Zak is them wanting to target Allie w our F4 deal and Luca. I don't want that. Allie's shady and she betrayed me but at the end of the day she's also a number for me and Willow moving forward. RTP wants to work with me. For the first time ever in this game, LA hit ME up instead of me having to approach her. I think I can work with Luca. Lex, though... she gotta go. She doesn't benefit me at all, she's a former winner, she's done nothing in this game ever to make me feel good with her... her ass gotta be grass. Voting out Allie eliminates an out, and a potential endgame plan, for myself, which would allow Aro/Zak/Luca to become a F3 deal should they want to. A F5 of our F4 and Willow does not look good for me ! So I'd want the rest of the game to shake out something like this: 9th - Lex; 8th - LA; 7th - RTP; 6th - Luca; 5th - Zak; 4th - Allie, leaving a F3 of myself, Willow, and Aro, which I'd like to think I can win. Letting Allie get deep into this game is a risk but I'm willing to take it because the composition of the jury combined with her seeming desire to go to the end with me both prove good to my overall game. It's within reach, if I can just hold on to it. For the first time... maybe I could fucking win.

So here's a recap of what happened last round. - Me, Zak, Mitchell and Willow form a plan to get the majority to split the votes 3-3 so that we can put 4 votes on Johnny - We had no idea if they were 100% going to split or not but King Johnny comes to our aid because he decides to form the same exact plan but with  4 votes on Allie instead - We chose Johnny over Allie because he was the leader of the rookies alliance and with him gone most of them are free agents

This round *should* be fine, with Zak's flare and Willow on our side for good (hopefully) we have 5 votes for sure. They're planning on voting Allie and also working on turning Luca so hopefully they dont have an idol rip. I know this might come off as cocky since its only final 9, but I've been thinking about endgame a lot ever since tribal. I'm 100% confident that Willow will win any final 3 but I genuinely wouldn't mind going to the end with Zak and Mitchell because they're awesome folks aaaand they're kiiiinda getting cocky so it might give me a shot to win. Willow is amazing too but she's too big of a threat so if we get to the end she would have to go at 4 or 5

if i go home bc i played myself into not fuckin spelling reservoir correctly i'm gonna fuckin punch johnny frat boy in the face when i get to ponderosa

I'm a terrible person, I keep forgetting Luca is still in this game and I work with him. But, I mean anyone who reads my confessionals should know I'm a terrible and salty af person. Also i think the rum actually gave me a hangover, apparently bourbon and 151 doesn't mix, who knew? And I just did the immunity challenge and completely fucked up, I got a big zero, there is a reason I try never to spell anything out loud, I need to see things written. [sos]

https://youtu.be/coM4svs6ydY

LMAO I FUCKED UP THAT CHALLENGE SO BAD. I'm just really hoping other people messed up on the first word bc I don't wanna be the only one who got zero, thats embarassing. The second after I said "drout" I was like wait shit thats wrong its spelt "drought" oops!

This challenge will probably be my most shameful moment of TS, a fucking zero, I'm still not over it. But with Mitchell winning immunity there goes the main person i wanted out, which could be a good thing cause it made me rethink. I think Willow needs to go, I was so worried about Allie being a middle man between Lex and Willow that I overlooked Willow may be the real threat here. When she started gunning for Lex I just assumed it was because she was worried Allie might pick Lex over her cause they seemed so tight, but after that vote she was with Mitchell's group, and the same with Jacob's vote. Once, it can pass by as nothing but twice? and on the vote that blindsided Johnny, she's more in with that group than I thought. If I happen to be right about this, then this is our last chance to weaken their side before they get majority and I'm totally fucked because Mitchell and I might talk and get along but I think him saying he wants to work with me is 100% fake and he's just playing the game and there is no way I even make F5 with him. The biggest problem I see right now is Allie. She is the vote I really need to get to pull this off, and I'm not sure if she'll flip on Willow or not.

(a little bit later)

So apparently I freaked out Allie this morning, with coming to her about voting Willow. MY BAD. She doesn't wanna vote Willow, which I can understand, Willow has been her person throughout the game. I knew trying to flip her was a long shot but I figured I should try anyways. But I was able to make her question their relationship, since Willow has been leaving her out of plans lately. I feel like tribal is gonna be mess, but let's see how this goes~

Why do I have a funny feeling either me or Zak is gonna get idold out tonight

All day it seemed too goddamn good to be true. It looked like Lex was going to be 7 votes out, but then fucking willow and zak and aro had to be paranoid!! And IDK EUFHEWUEidsz WHAT THE FUCK THEY'RE SAYING OR DOING!!!! Granted, I don't think Lexi has an idol or would play it if she does; and I CAN think that, since I have immunity and my neck is on the line. But they're fucking going CRAZY overboard with counter measures that would send Allie home anyways???? Even if Lex didn't have an idol????? This vote is gonna be so fukcing messy bc everyone in my alliance can't just sit STILL. jesus christ i still hope it'll be 7 votes lex or maybe 5 votes lex 2 votes allie but like... i don't fuckin get it. these kids are so dumb.

I'm fairly confident someone's lying or an idol is being played tonight and I'm gonna be packing my bags at tribal. Like... I've done so much work in this game and I'm not ready to go and this seems like such a simple vote but so did the vote when everyone was lying to me and Matt was voted out. Oh my godddd I'm not in the mood to get 9th place!!! I might have to pull out my flare tonight and we might have to flip the vote last minute because this Lexi puta probably has a fucking idol and she's voting me!!! I just really feel like something fishy is going on tonight and I'm not excited

I JUST MADE FUN OF PEOPLE FOR GETTING SPOOKED BUT NOW I'M SPOOKED TOO AND IDK WHAT THE FUCK TO DO WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK

(a bit later)

OK SO FINAL TALLY BASED ON WORDS PEOPLE HAVE SAID: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 1 ON ARO 1 ON ZAK. WHAT I EXPECT: 5 ON LEX 2 ON LA 2 ON EITHER ARO OR ZAK. DO I EXPECT TO GET FUCKED?????????????/ YEEEEEEEEEES FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEES BUT I GOT IMMUNITY ZAK GOT A FLARE IF AN IDOL COME OUT A FLARE COME OUT WE GOTTA RISK IT FOR THE BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISCUIT LET'S DAAAAAAAAAAAANCE

[5/4/17, 9:07:12 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: I heard the vote was gon be for aro [5/4/17, 9:07:17 PM] Mitchell Kalabang: if ur down for that?? 

On 5/4/17, at 9:09 PM, lex wrote: > Hi my vote it for zak (selfie) i really do love making big moves. i would like to thank ryan la luca and allie for making my shadiness possible this round. it really means a lot to my soul. this round started off pretty chill considering someone i thought was my biggest ally left in what has to be the weirdest tribal in quite a while. but johnny fucked himself up by targeting allie and i to the people we are closest to in the game? like did he honestly think we wouldnt find out... but i kept my mouth shut and pretended i did not know what he was doing cause if there is one thing i have learned in this game its to never plan shit at the last second cause its not going to end well for anyone. so he left and everyone was like yes we love each other hooray great hair babe but that all changed when the willow monster attacked. BUT IM SAfE AND I HAVE YET NEEDED AN IDOL! WOOOO PALAWAN ME WOULD NEVER!