#...but it is often something trans people do as part of our exploration of gender...

[cardentist]

Fam how can one be trans in the direction of their assigned sex? I'm not even trying to make the idea sound ridiculous or anything. I'm genuinely curious and want to understand. I thought the whole meaning of trans was that you feel or act in the opposite direction of your assigned sex; if you're transfem but you're afab then to me that's just cisgender??? But like please explain to me how that's not the case if that's what you and others strongly feel so I may grow my compassion

Context: [Link]

well ! while I personally am not intersex, I DO want to highlight intersex people first and foremost.

gender and sex are very Very complex, and I think generally people don't consider the way that being intersex can play a big role in that!

there are intersex people who are afab who are also trans women, there are intersex people who are amab who are trans men, there are intersex people with many Many different relationships with sex and gender and anywhere in between !

an afab person can be born with masculine sex characteristics and transition the way trans women often do. that person May identify as trans, they may not ! that trans person may not even consider themselves a woman depending on who they are and what they want !

I Do think there needs to be an effort to be aware of and make space for intersex people within the trans community, and really the wider queer community as a whole. as it's often something that's given a footnote without deeper thought into the ways that intersex people Actually interact with our communities.

which I don't blame people for not already knowing ! that's the whole point of trying to educate people in the first place ^^

.

and as for Myself

labels are, ultimately, a form of gender presentation. what you call yourself is an extension of not only how you see yourself, but how Other People perceive you.

I could call myself nonbinary or I could call myself trans masc, and both would be Accurate. but people have certain traits and expectations and associations when they see those labels. there are assumptions made about the kind of life that I live, the things that I want, the things I might experience, that change depending on which labels that I use.

and that's not Inherently a bad thing ! I mean, that's part of why people Like labels. but it Can be a struggle for people whose gender is Funny.

I could Also describe myself as genderqueer or multi-gender or genderfluid or gnc or-. I've tried on lots and lots of labels, and for the most part I haven't thrown any of them out, I just keep them in a box under my bed and take them out when relevant.

I've been wrestling with the feminine aspect of my identity for a very Very long time. I've been aware that I'm some level of trans masc. that part was easy. I want a deeper voice, I want things about my body to change, I don't want people to look at me and see a cis woman.

but I Also like femininity. I've found that after accepting myself as trans masc and slowly growing an environment where I am Perceived as masculine, I've started getting euphoria at presenting femininely in the Same way that I did (and do!) get about presenting masculinely.

but that feeling doesn't carry over when I'm perceived as a cis woman. it's Quite Uncomfortable for obvious gender reasons.

and while I may not know the exact Words that I'd use to describe it (as I've said, I've been chewing on it for Many years now), I've gotten a clearer idea of how I Feel.

I want to be Visibly trans. I want to be perceived masculinely And femininely. I want to transition masculinely to present femininely (and sometimes butch, sometimes like your dad at the ace hardware store, I contain multitudes).

and of course, figuring out what I have going on has involve a lot of exploration ! it's the same way I figured out the whole trans masc thing in the first place. seeking out other trans people and other Things About trans people feeling things out.

I find ! that I have a lot of shared experiences with transfeminine people. both in how I feel about certain things, some of the presentation that I want, and in how people would React To said presentation.

my femininity Is Trans, I don't relate to cis womanhood. but I Do relate to trans femininity. which is really awkward for me, because it's difficult to describe it to other people fjksldljkasfdjklfasd

(I don't personally consider myself a trans woman mind, but I'm certain there Are people who are trans men and trans women at the same time. gender is complicated, sex is complicated. labels are malleable and sometimes situational)

Could I describe myself with a different label? probably ! I've got lots of them. but when I Don't put emphasis on this aspect of myself people assume that it's not there. insist that it Couldn't be there, and I don't know what I'm talking about. and those people who Would act nasty towards me probably aren't gonna change their mind just because I changed my bio. but it feels Nice to assert that aspect of myself when other people are trying to tear it down.

.

part of me feels like I should post the intersex portion of this by itself, because people tend to engage more with shorter posts and there's nothing Short about my gender situation ljkfdasjkls

but ! I dunno, if this makes even one person understand the gray areas of gender and presentation a little more it'll be worth it.

thank you for taking the time to ask ! and especially for doing so kindly ! I do hope you'll see this

[unbidden-yidden]

My (non-Jewish) anthropology professor made a really incorrect statement about the idea of Jews as “God’s chosen people”. When I (also non-Jewish but try to keep informed) corrected him, he brought up something else that sounded wrong to me: supposedly only Reform Judaism allows for conversion? I didn’t know enough to contest it at the time, but that really does not sound true to my ear, from the way I’ve heard Jewish people talk about it. Is there any truth to that?

Yeah, the Chosen People thing is often wildly and antisemitically misinterpreted to mean "We think we're G-d's Specialest Selected Elite People and the only people G-d actually loves and cares about" -- which like. Could not be further from the truth. What it actually means is: We were selected to do the project of the mitzvot of the Torah, which is a lot of extra homework that other people don't need to do but someone needs to do it. It's a lot more like "chosen to do the dishes" of the spiritual world than "chosen to be special." Now. Is there definitely some pride of place in doing the extra work? Sure! But at the same time, Jewish eschatology has always made room for non-Jews. We absolutely think non-Jews who live good lives and are decent, moral people have a solid place in the world to come. We aren't angling for a everyone to become Jewish because, kind of by definition, not everyone needs to do the ritual mitzvot. Live ethical lives and be decent to each other and us? Sure. Lay tefillin and daven three times a day and (during the Temple times) offer sacrifices and wave lulav fronds during Sukkot and eat matzah on Pesach and keep kosher and keep Shabbat? Etc.? Nope, that's our task and ours alone.

Now! If you feel personally called to living a life of Torah and believe that you have a Jewish soul and should be made part of Am Yisrael, the Jewish people, you can go through the lengthy process of conversion and (essentially) become a member of the Tribe? Yeah, you can do that. You better be real sure and go into it eyes open. You're going to need to be persistent and dedicated to studying and being present in the community. It's not encouraged, and traditionally rabbis would turn someone asking to convert away three times before accepting them as a student to make sure they were serious. In modern times, most rabbis are a bit more welcoming, but will still push you to seriously consider why you want to be Jewish. If the answer is still yes for you, then you can do it, if you must. Most gerim (converts) describe an experience very similar to how transgender folks describe our gender journeys - we can't be any other way, and wouldn't want to be. I'm both a convert and trans, and my sense of understanding myself as both non-binary and as a Jew are deeply held and equally compelling.

All branches of rabbinic Judaism accept converts. Some have a more strenuous process than others, and some take on very few converts. The more traditional the movement, the more likely it is that the person will be encouraged to explore other options. The reason for this is that the more traditional the movement, the more serious they take the binding nature of the commandments, and therefore adding another Jew (especially one who has so much to learn in a comparatively short time rather than being raised in it) is a risk that the person will revert back to their old ways or find something else later. Since we are judged collectively (Torah is a group project) and the future world to come hinges on us scrupulously observing the mitzvot (according to the more traditional movements) it is imperative that any late additions to the People be very serious and rigorous in their observance.

The liberal movements are a lot less intense about that, although it's also a spectrum. The Reform movement does not hold the ritual mitzvot to be binding, only the ethical mitzvot. They therefore lack the same incentive to avoid failed conversions. The Conservative/Masorti movement and some of the other traditional egalitarian communities do hold the mitzvot as binding, but are a lot more flexible about their expectations that everyone follow them. It's a lot more of a "do your best; we're here to support you" vibe. (That's my branch that I converted through.)

Each branch, to be clear, has their strengths and weaknesses, their merits and their drawbacks. Every Jew brings something to the table. The Reform movement (and similarly liberal smaller movements) are probably the most welcoming to gerim and have the fewest hoops to jump through, but every branch has a process and some amount of converts. Those that choose a more traditional movement typically support, respect, and value the extra hoops of the traditional movements and are willing to work within that system; at least that's how it was for me. I wanted it to be rigorous so that I was prepared and certain; I got that out of my giyur process. Other people have different needs and value systems that are equally valid.

[f1crecs]

Fic Rec List - Our Favourite Fics

if your fic is on this list and you don’t want it to be, please let me know and we will remove it immediately, no questions asked. we have contacted most of the authors on this list, but sometimes people fall through the gaps - just pop us a message🤍

have a pairing you want me to do next? please read the faqs and then head to the inbox.

don’t forget to give the authors featured on this list some love in the form of kudos, bookmarks, and comments!

thank you to @talictries for this lovely, lovely ask - and for letting us share our little slices of fandom happiness!

I thought this would be the perfect time to introduce the new blog team. I hope you'll join me in showering them with lots of love! 🤍🤍🤍

Mark/Seb

nsfw: I Heard You're a Player, So Let's Play a Game by Tianvette | E | 88.8k @boxboxbrioche's favourite fic. Mark and Seb are teammates, navigating a complicated relationship. This fic is absolutely stunning! There are parts of this fic that are haunting, that I still think of often, a year after reading it for the first time. The evolution of Mark and Seb's relationship is, although messy and difficult, so natural and so well written. I come back to this fic so often - I must be on my fifth or sixth read. It's captivating.

'Turning twenty-three clearly hasn’t made any difference to Seb’s infuriating cheekiness but surprisingly, he finds his chest growing warm with something like affection, his annoyance melting away like snow in sunshine'

Lando/Lewis

1999, heroes by @lilcrickee | M | 36k @ocontraire's favourite fic Top gun au that explores power dynamics, both in the context of age difference and in the more rigid structure of the military. The dynamics between friends and rivals keep me coming back to re-read this one, as well as the messy, lovely unfolding of the main relationship

'And just like that, Lando feels the wind get snatched from his sails. His chest deflates like a balloon that’s been popped unexpectedly. The easy camaraderie that he and Lewis had shared most of the night feels like it’s been reset. Lewis is his superior officer. Lewis is 14 years older than him. Lewis is someone bright and unattainable and Lando should tell his heart to get a fucking grip.'

Charles/Pierre

Name It The Blood by @effervescentdragon | Not Rated | 23.5k @singsweetmelodies' favourite fic. Charles and George are nobility, and Pierre and Alex are their respective childhood best friends who love them - until Pierre and Alex both run away from the lives planned for them to become pirates. They reunite just before Charles is set to be married. This fic just has absolutely everything, from complex worldbuilding to pining (so much pining and longing!) to not-quite-doomed period romance to pirate shenanigans to heartwarming friendship moments, and it is all so so beautifully written! I reread this fic almost monthly, and there are many lines from it that I can quote by heart. It still makes me tear up a little, no matter how many times I've read it. Just an absolutely stunning fic, from start to finish.

“Tell me, Pierrot,” he says lowly. “What am I to you?” Everything, every part of Pierre screams instinctively. You are everything to me, the sun and the stars, the air I breathe, the beauty in every flower I see for the first time, the rage in every sea storm, the one I would get on my knees for and worship like a God, the reason for my existence, the love of my life, the best friend I’ve ever had. You are everything.'

Daniel/George

nsfw: my temple will be beautiful too by @notthehardtyres | E | 6.3k @lydia-petze's favourite fic. Daniel, in his second year at McLaren, is in crisis over gender and body dysphoria issues that have pushed their way to the fore. He finds somewhere to have a breakdown over it, which happens to be an empty meeting room belonging to Mercedes. George finds him there, and eventually reveals that he himself is trans. Narrowing down all the F1 RPF I've loved to ONE seemed like an impossible task, but when I laid out my favourites to make the attempt, this is the one I kept returning to. It's stunningly good. The language around bodies, and physical reality, and not feeling comfortable in one's own is evocative and visceral - as physical as the selves it is describing. There is a recurring motif of light and refraction, and how much it can change the way we see something, or someone. George's support of Daniel is quiet and steadfast. His decision to reveal his own body is based in compassion, empathy and deep trust. .

'They don’t hear George move, either—only the sound of his deep, regular breaths. Daniel matches that rhythm for a while until their heart rate evens out and the anxious nausea recedes. The one time that they lift their head just far enough to see, George looks stoic and serene, staring at the opposite wall. He hasn’t even gotten his phone out to pass the time. What faint light diffuses through the window blinds has a cool bluish tint, and Daniel imagines that they’re somewhere under the ocean, pressed pleasantly down by the weight of the water.'

Charles/Max

nsfw: objects in mirror by @drivestraight | E | 87.8k @blueballsracing's favourite fic. A series, in which Charles Leclerc decidedly moves to Red Bull Racing and copes with the effects of having Max Verstappen as a teammate, all while he's trying to win his first maiden World Championship. This series is one I constantly reread, because of the characterization and beautifully written moments of what having a rival and a lover is like. It's my favorite fic in the fandom, and I suggest reading the entire series.

“Max looks—his eyes are slits, and his hand is still firm on Charles’ waist. “What are you looking for?” There are a lot of answers to that question. A championship. Forever and always. A gap to overtake. The racing line. My brothers, to hold my hand. Papa, sometimes, when I’m standing up on the top step of the podium, looking out into the crowd and praying for a miracle.”

nsfw: breathe you in (like a vapor) by @fabbyf1 | E | 53.3k @frickinsweet's favourite fic. An enemies-to-lovers story of Max and Charles falling in love over winter break 2022. Choosing a favourite fic was such a challenge (it felt a bit like choosing a favourite child) – but since I could only choose one it had to be this one. Firstly, Fabby is a fantastic writer and I would rec every one of her fics if I could but this one is my comfort fic that I keep coming back to.

This fic has it all: misunderstandings, a Max that is a little bit obsessed with and unbelivably fond of Charles, a Charles having a bad time and in denial about his feelings, petnames, Charles being called pretty multiple times, bickering as foreplay – you name it, this fic has got it. Most of all I love the charactherizations, especially Max who is sort of a weirdo who cant read a room for the life of him but also refreshingly honest and unashamed about his feelings. When I first read this I was new to F1 and definitely not sold on Max/Charles but this fic showed me the light! Also the smut is superhot 🤭.

Charles suddenly snapped back into the present when Max asked, “Were you guys finished for the day? Or did you want to play doubles with us?” Charles turned to look at Arthur, giving him a look that only a fellow Leclerc brother could understand. He didn’t need to use his words. It was obvious that he was telling him: we are absolutely not going to play tennis with Max Verstappen. Arthur tilted his head at him, his eyes locked on Charles before he gave him a slight nod. Because he totally understood. It was so nice to have such a solid, strong bond with his brother. Leclercs were basically psychic! “We’d love to play doubles,” Arthur said, turning back towards Max and Brad. Charles wished he was an only child.

[collegetennisoriginstory]

I wanted to throw in my opinion on the Trans MC if you want it! Option 3 would be a lot of extra writing and coding, so I get that it wouldn't be a decision made lightly and it would be added pressure to get it right and it's a sensitive topic for sure. I will say that if you chose to go this route tho, it would make a huge difference and mean a lot to us. I'm a trans athlete, and the lack of representation can be really discouraging. It's time like these where we are receiving so much hate, especially when it comes to sports, that allies could really step up and make a difference. Reading can really open people's minds! It may be difficult and uncomfortable, and take extra work, but that's our everyday tbh. We out here living on hard mode 😂 that's just my thoughts on the matter but I will respect you and read your story either way. Much love 🏳️‍⚧️♥️

Hey! Thank you so much for sending this! This gets long, forgive my wordiness.

First off, I really feel your statement to the bone, the part about how allies could step up and make a difference, and how positive rep in media, games etc. is insanely important.

So many stories, TV shows, movies have shaped my experience of being queer and POC, and while some of them have been nice just so I could see someone like myself being represented, the ones that really made an impact are of course the ones where these identities were explored in a sensitive, thoughtful way. (When I watched Saving Face for the first time at 17, about a queer Chinese American doctor, I bawled my eyes out and dont think I've been the same since).

I would absolutely love if CT:OS/my IFs could do this for trans athletes too.

I've seen/heard so many worrying statements about trans athletes (both in real life and in the media)—and it makes me so sad.

Some that really get me really riled up are: The idea that a trans athlete's accomplishments mean nothing because they "have an unfair advantage" (or putting it down to "just hormones" or whatever instead of recognizing the hardwork, skill, and dedication behind EVERY successul athlete, trans or not). Or the idea that trans athletes shouldn't get to choose to be trans if they want to be athletes. Or the idea of policing trans athletes' bodies or forcing them to undergo surgery in order for them to be "valid"...

Well, FUCK THAT. FUCK those people.

If my IF can help celebrate trans athletes, and combat/shut down the really harmful (and ignorant) rhetoric out there? I'd love to do that.

But since I am not trans myself, it feels doubly, triply important that I wade really carefully here. I'd really need to spend time making sure I like and can stand behind what I'm putting out. I don't think it'd be responsible representation, otherwise!

I'm not really a perfectionist about my writing and that's how I make progress on my IFs while working a full time job. I'm more the... "slap shit tgt, get it out there, get feedback and edit if I feel like it" kind of writer. And I don't think I'd be able to finish CT:OS / Merry Crisis any other way. But when it comes to race, gender, and sexual identity? I really. Really. Wanna get things right.

(I rewrote that Rayyan convo about being a POC athlete with Deepal so many times haha and it was already marginally less scary, since I am a POC athlete.)

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I agree it's so goddamn important to have trans stories, and rep, especially in sports, where views are often so toxic and polarized.

But I don't think I know yet whether I see my IF being more a simple "yay, trans rep" kind of space or an actual deeper exploration of what it means to be a trans athlete. I was quite prepared to add the option to be trans (+ any accompanying scenes etc.) when I have the complete CT:OS 1st draft, but I was also toying with the idea of just putting something imperfect into the game earlier.

Faced with indecision, I've opted for: procrastination. I am still waffling, but it was helpful to hear what you guys think. Thank you so much for your message.

Lots of love, keep being awesome ❤️

[trans-axolotl]

is it okay for perisex people to question if they may be intersex and do research even if they think they’re perisex and don’t think they have signs of it? is it good to do similar to the way questioning your gender (for cis people) is good too? or is it inappropriate to look into

Hey anon,

I think it's important to recognize the distinctions between intersex identity and experiences and other LGBTQ experiences. we are part of the LGBTQIA community but like, I don't think that it's always the most helpful to try to directly compare what our journey can look like with other dyadic LGBTQ journies because they aren't entirely going to look the same.

Sometimes I'm not even sure if questioning intersex is the right word to describe the process of intersex discovery-I think when you are questioning if you're intersex or not, it can be a lot more helpful to draw insight to disability community experiences around self-diagnosis rather than trying to compare it to like, questioning being trans. Because with being intersex there is this whole other physical aspect and possibly medical intervention and tests and I don't think people need to pursue medical intervention, but that can be a different experience than questioning being gay or trans where you usually aren't going to be engaging as much with the medical world or your physical body in that way.

So yeah, it's okay for perisex people to do whatever research you want- I'm not stopping you. If you don't have any intersex signs it's up to you if you want to spend your time doing in depth medical research and i don't know how beneficial some of the in depth info will be to you. I think if you don't think you have any signs of intersex variations, I'm not sure if considering this an intersex discovery process is helpful, and it might be more helpful to frame it as more just doing research, finding information, increasing your knowledge on intersex topics. Obviously if you're doing research and do find information that you think might pertain to you then that of course makes sense you would want to explore that. I also just don't know if I personally think that cis ppl need to question their gender or that it's inherently a good thing--I don't think it's a bad thing, I just think I personally more think of it as a morally neutral experience that people will have all different feelings about.

also i don't want you to take this as an attack on u, bc it's okay not to like, know all the nuances of intersex community topics. but i do want to say that something we get pretty frustrated with a lot in intersex community is the way perisex people often only engage with intersex topics if it's convenient to them, or on their terms. and when you frame learning more about intersex people as something you would only do because there's a chance you might be intersex even though you think you're perisex, that brings up some complicated feelings in me. i'm very used to perisex people only engaging with intersex topics when it benefits them, so it is a little uncomfortable for me to see learning more about intersex people framed as something you could only do if you were questioning being intersex. i don't think you intended it to come off that way and im not mad, but i do think it's worth considering the fact that this information is still valuable and a helpful way to be an ally regardless of whether or not you turn out to be intersex, and that i think perisex people need to reflect more on how they center themselves in intersex conversations.

anyway, long story short, it's always fine to do research on intersex variations, but i think it's important to realize that intersex questioning doesn't always look the same as other LGBTQ questioning processes. and also important to be aware of the trend of perisex people centering themselves in intersex conversations and consider ways to uplift the inherent value of intersex community + knowledge even when it's not beneficial or convenient for perisex people.

this answer's kind of a mess cause im tired but other intersex people feel free to add on or disagree, we have lots of different opinions and this is just my perspective.

[transteez]

this bruise is yellow - An interview with the author

For our first ever author interview, we were lucky enough to ask the extremely talented @lightupfic​ a few questions about their fic, this bruise is yellow. 

“I think a basic rule of thumb is that it only counts as a ‘one-off’ if it happens once. This is, what, the third time we’ve hooked up in as many months?”

“The third and last,” San says with an overly cheery smile.

Once is an accident, twice is a mistake, and three times is a pattern. San refuses to let it become a habit.

Read the full interview below.

Q: Lightup! Thank you so much for letting us ask you some questions about your work “This Bruise Is Yellow” for trans San week! Was there a main inspiration for this work?

A: Not really, it was a short drabble that spiralled out of control, but the catalyst for that happening was my desire to explore the complicated dynamics of gender and sexuality through the lens of gender-confused San and “straight” Wooyoung.

Q: Ah yes, this is a common struggle in the community from what I’ve heard and experienced. Are you happy with the outcome? Do you think it served its purpose and you were able to explore as much as you wanted to?

A: I’m really happy with the outcome, I put so much effort into writing this fic and writing it the way I wanted to. For me, it did more than just serve its original purpose, which was me writing something I wanted to read.

I explored way more than I set out to, both in relation to Sanʼs gender and medical transition, and his relationship with Wooyoung. In particular, how they went from two people who disliked each other and were quick to lash out, to each otherʼs most trusted person.

Q: Is it still something you want to read?

A: Hopefully one day but not yet, I could probably recite it word for word with how many times I read it during redrafts and editing.

Q: Oh yeah, thatʼs valid! About Wooyoungʼs and Sanʼs relationship: is this dynamic something you like to read/write often or was it curiosity that drove you to write it?

A: I had the idea for this fic first and quickly knew I wanted the trans character to be San, but I didnʼt decide on the pairing until later. I went with San/Wooyoung because I like reading and writing them and they fit the concept really well.

Q: Did you at one point rethink the pairing?

A: I donʼt think so. There are a few bullet points of outline with them as the pairing that I wrote a few months before I started writing the fic.

Q: I see! To jump to my next question: did any of your personal experiences colour your work?

A: Yes, there are conversations that are reminiscent of ones I’ve had, thoughts and feelings that I share, and my relationship with my best friend tends to sneak into my writing without me realising.

Q: What do you want people to take away from your story? Or is there a common ground within the feedback youʼve gotten so far?

A: Broadly, an insight into a trans experience, but nothing makes me happier than a reader choosing to share with me that they found comfort in this fic or saw some of themselves in San (or Wooyoung).

Q: Do you see yourself or parts of yourself in one of your characters?

A: Sanʼs relationship with gender is very much inspired by my own.

Q: Then I hope youʼll be able to take some comfort in it as well soon! And thank you for your time!

A: Thank you for your time too! 

You can read this bruise is yellow here. 

[prettycottonmouthlamia]

Personally I often wonder about the extent that bioessentialism is baked into our ideologies and how to combat it, because bioessentialism is basically the gateway drug to transmisogyny and transmisandry. We discuss differences between the genders are immutable facts rather than topics that should be fully explored.

The desire to find social answers to our problems, to discuss the ways in which what we teach and say influence how we think and feel, I believe has been kind of painted over with a desire for quick and easy answers. Obviously this manifests in completely ridiculous ways like people insisting that women are just dumber than men and hence can't reasonably compete against them in chess.

But I often think about this gets expressed in other, more insidious ways. If I asked "Do het men and gay men feel attraction differently?" outside of the obvious answer of "They're attracted to different genders", I feel like the answer would probably overwhelmingly be yes. But if I asked "Do het women and gay women feel attraction differently?", I'm honestly not sure if the response would be as overwhelming. There would be more hemming and hawing.

Now flip the script even further. Do gay men and het women feel attraction differently? It might obvious to some people to immediately say yes, but consider what stereotypes exist out there. The trope of the token gay guy of an otherwise straight friend group, who often just says what the women are thinking outloud. The stereotype of the feminine gay man in media. While my ultimate these here is "attraction is more than just man vs woman", I feel like it be remiss to say that we have on some level internalized that the two groups are at least similar.

Now what about het men and gay women? Does being attracted to women, no matter what your gender, make you susceptible to the messages regarding female sexuality that are broadcasted? Does it matter how masculine you choose to present and identify yourself?

This ultimately is part of why I feel a lot of trans lesbians face a shitton of harassment for being themselves and being open sexual: it gets viewed as male sexuality because of their transness. That a woman couldn't possibly ever have been susceptible to that in the first place. Do you see the issue? Or about how lesbian sexuality is often suppressed and discarded, seen as ultimately fetishistic. Write something raunchy enough and anonymously enough, and you'll get dismissed out of hand as a man (welcome to the wonderful world of yuri discourse).

At the end of the day, interrogating the matter mostly just reveals that a lot of our beliefs about attraction are entirely social. Men are not hard-wired to see women as sex objects. Het men can be entirely loving, respectful partners, and gay men and women can be the exact opposite. It's not immutable fact at the end of the day. Part of my internal self-reflection as I transitioned was coming to grasp with the different beliefs I held to be true (and ultimately, learning about feminism, genuinely a lot of people could benefit from a more formal education about it). Were they true? Were they things I believed to be true? Were they things I could unlearn?

[enochianribs]

I'm not a very eloquent speaker and I am terrible at organizing my thoughts so I hope this makes sense. Some people may have missed out on the extensive discussion we had as a fandom a year ago(?). But also, this discussion is relevant at all times for every form of media, and its particularly relevant again, so:

Sensitivity Readers are Important. If you are going to write on a topic that you do not know much about but are learning about or exploring, you should probably have one. On the same hand, I feel like it's important to only be gratuitous with real world issues in your own story telling if said issues are something that you personally experience and could speak on from experience, even if they're included in the original content. For example, gay people writing about homophobia in any degree is something they have a right to explore in their art and self expression because it can be/is a lived experience. But as white people we 1) shouldn't leave out people of color because that is a form of racism in and of itself (that's where common sense and sensitivity readers are important- to make sure we portray other demographics respectfully) and 2) we shouldn't be telling stories about people of color's adversity in regards to racism or xenophobia. Specifically writing in bigotry that was not essential and also DOESN'T affect us is not our place. It is not our story to tell. If you feel, for whatever reason it is important to include in your piece, ask why you feel like it's your part to narrate it, if its from a well meaning place, and then find a sensitivity reader that volunteers to screen writing for things like that so that you do not overstep and/or contribute to the problem.

It's about marginalized voices speaking out about their experiences because they have a right to. It extends to race, gender, sexuality, religion etc.

This is why I personally do not mind people writing transphobia into their stories if they are trans themselves, but when cis people do it its often very uncomfortable, shallow or incorrect. Cis people can include trans people! Absolutely! We exist! It's just a good idea to check with a sensitivity reader to make sure you haven't written/created something harmful.

This basic concept applies to many things and of course, there will always be levels of nuance to every situation. But at the end of the day we have to stop, learn, choose to be better and then do better, and this is a process with no end. There is no point where you stop and go 'I've learned enough'.

[phoenixislost]

(1/3) Hi! I just wanted to say that I’ve been thinking about your fic again. You manage to write the topic of trans pregnancy so well, how do you do that? There’s probably a certain level of authenticity because of your experience a trans man, but I also notice a lot of thoughtfulness being put into this story. Trans pregnancy might be considered as a hard or taboo subject, but you manage to portray it as any other experience that some people go through.

(2/3) It’s written as equal parts beautiful and also difficult. Also, were you worried on how others might received a topic like this? from what i get from the story is that its not so much as pregnancy/having a child itself that bothers xiao but more so the changes from his ideal body image and having to correct others regarding the terminology (correct me if im wrong), and also the possibility of them having more kids being implied (which i honestly feel excited about!) (3/3) how do you approach the topic in a positive light and be mindful that it’s not a one-size-fits-all situation? and whats the correct terminology thats okay for the readers? i see other authors use strictly masc/feminine/interchangeable terminologies in regards to a trans character’s position as parent, so what do you think is the correct way to address them especially when considering the different types of trans perspective? (sorry if my question seems super duper lengthy :'))

My answer ended up a bit long, so read it under the cut ;A;

So, the biggest thing about writing History for me was that it was very much just for me at the time. With that in mind, I went about it the way that I personally would have wanted to be approached in such a situation. I wanted to explore this topic as a way to explore my own feelings on the matter, and maybe rationalize them. But where I could not pull from my own personal experiences, I researched others' experiences. I read articles and case studies, sought out public interviews, and looked for medical resources (that are slowly being compiled, which is awesome)! And the thing is - trans pregnancy is something that some people go through! More often than many realize, even. It's just simply pregnancy, but with parents who happen to be trans (and therefore might have some extra baggage to work with).

When I did finally decide that I would share the fic, I 100% worried about how it would be received. This fic was (and still is) my baby, and was written with only the best intentions. But there will always be the concern that I misstepped somewhere, or did not approach something delicately enough. (And particularly with the darker topics). I also worried that fellow trans men might have issue with the story. Not everyone in the trans community is particularly open to these topics in fiction, for one reason or another. But, so far, I have only had one anonymous person harass me, and everyone else who has approached me has been lovely about the story - some even found some relatability in it, which brought me so much joy to find out!

Regarding terms and the "one-size-fits-all" issues - my motto is to go by a case-by-case basis. I cannot speak for other writers, or even other trans people, but I go by what the person prefers. In Xiao's case, he has presented as a man for most of his life and for all intents and purposes is a man. For him, it was important to be seen as a father, and not a mother. That is the case for a lot of trans fathers, from my experience (and it is my own preference, as well). But gender is a spectrum, and our experiences with it vary even amongst cis people. So what might fit one person, might not fit another; and that is also perfectly valid. Any story that might take a different approach is okay, as long as it is well-intentioned (in my opinion, at least). There is the question of some tropes, like A/B/O, where gender is usually cis-normative, and I will say that it does personally squick me when a father is referred to as "mother" if they birth the children; but these are not intended to be trans stories, so I would never say that they are transphobic or otherwise problematic. To each their own, honestly. Tldr; just ask what the person prefers!

In some small regards to future children in this series: I cannot confirm nor deny. c: But I am currently writing the sequel, and have the third story planned and outlined as well. So - you'll just have to see!

Asks like this always make my day ;A; Thank you so much! (And so sorry for the long-windedness, omg).

[straydaddy]

little thingor

My art and stories heavily cater to queer transmasc gaze as a queer transmasc myself btw, but everyone is welcome here, - I don’t believe in gatekeeping what kind of body types or relationship dynamics etc. ppl are allowed to find sexy and enjoy in fiction, regardless of who they are.

There’s a lot of stigma esp. around trans bodies and sexuality, and I want to address that for a bit.

I think we transmascs struggle a lot with how when we express our sexuality in our own terms, often uniquely to our various ways of experiencing gender, either dysphoria or euphoria and the desires and boundaries that come with those things and vary a lot on an individual basis, - people are a little scared to encage with that.

And I guess it’s because so often even trans people ourselves get accused of “degrading” or “fetishizing”... For... Portraying trans bodies and sexuality, trans bodies as attractive and desirable and portraying trans ppl in various sexual and relationship dynamics!

This talk often comes from internet zoomer queers who have only seen sexuality so far as something society imposes on them a. k. a. defies autonomy (esp. a lot of trans people have this trauma bcs we get policed so hard), so they’ve never conceptualized sexuality and especially trans people’s sexuality as something that can belongs to ourselves and can be explored with our own terms.

I’ve known for more than 10 years now how much I YEARN to portray queer transmasc relationships, sexuality and bodies, but felt scared to do so. At first there was just kinda nobody else doing the same, so I could not find community. Later, when I learned how much in-community lateral transphobia and policing towards identity and sexuality there is among trans people, that actually made me feel like I’ll be crucified for drawing guys getting their sweet pussy lips hungrily eaten by another dude who’ll soon plug a double-sided strapless silicon cock in his  own cunt and then manage to fuck his adorable breedable boyfriend, orgasming from the clitoral stimulation from fucking his bf with that toy as if he was just putting his dick in him.

Our sexuality is so stigmatized that it’s genuinely scary to openly express it at times, - to the point where I’ve often cis-washed a lot of my queer male characters or ships to avoid the scrutiny. I don’t do this anymore because I want bodies and sexualities like mine to be just business as usual, normal stuff. Just like writing m/m couples is normal for anyone to do, I want transmasc ppl to be considered just as normal, and not a taboo.

Also; Fictional characters are objects. You are allowed to, in fact, objectify the everliving shit out of them.

Fetishization/objectification of a marginalized population refers to hunting sexual interactions or relationships with real people of that group, for the sole purpose of the “exoticism” of it, and treating living IRL human beings more like a porn category than people. For example, IRL cis people who hunt trans people as a taboo sexual outlet etc. would be considered this.

So honestly. Consume and create any art, with any body types or sexual dynamics you want. It’s other people’s job to maintain their own personal boundaries and to not encage with art they don’t like. Nobody should feel pressured to disclose their personal information or identity online just to be able to enjoy or create any fictional content in peace.

On my page, everyone is welcome to enjoy and express appreciation of what I’m putting out in here. Even if we aren’t a part of the same demographics, I’m not gonna think you’re “creepy” for liking my art. So just a word, - transmasculine artists like me who put our work out there, aren’t some poor little delicate flowers who wilt and die when people interact with it. When needed, I will express personal boundaries about things, and that’s allright, not an end of the world but just respectful communication.

About queer transmasc gaze in my art, - while how I decipt na’vi/avatar anatomy is actually tied to my headcanon of fantasy/alien anatomy of versatile naturally hermaphroditic genitalia, and not trans by its lore, it definitely comes from a place of wanting to explore characters having the potential to “have any genitalia” or sexual role regardless of the rest of their presentation or sex characteristics.

While my Quaritch isn’t trans, he’s a curious exploration, by a queer transmasc dude, into the concept of a cis dude waking up with a fat pussy one day (and discovering that said “pussy” is actually finely packaged alien genitalia that lets you fuck and get fucked lmao). It’s fascinating to explore the fantasy of characters experiencing bodies that, in some ways, operate similiarly to certain transmasc body types, but without the baggage and trauma of being born trans in a cisnormative society. To me that’s a liberating exploration of queer men just ~happening to have all the pussy abilities on them~.

Also that + I’m a furry and a monsterfucker so lanky werecat humanoids with funky genitalia are territory of my specialty, too.

[piratesfromspace]

Why is Omegaverse popular? - a few thoughts

I know Omegaverse a/b/o fanfictions have for the most part a "bad" reputation, even amongst the community of fanfic writers. But once we have had a good laugh at the Bad-Wolf-Science behind it, and the occasional crude grammar or improbable sex scenes, why is it a not negligible part of fanfics in a lot of fandoms? Why is it popular? Why do you kinda enjoy it even if you don't want to say it out loud?

I find it fascinating to try and understand why this genre is appealing to a group mainly comprised of women & queer people. There are a few recurring themes that I think makes up the appeal of the Omegaverse, especially in reader-insert fanfics:

the weird body stuff: if you're a woman or a trans person, you have experienced your lot of body-shaming, of society telling you what your body does and how it looks is weird and gross (think period or body hair for example). In Omegaverse situations, the bodies are allowed to be animalistic, to produce pheromones, sweat and any kind of fluids, the bodies morph, new organs appear, the gender binary is more irrelevant than ever, the knots swell, the cavities expand. It brings our bodies at the center of the storyline, and those bodies are allowed to be weird, it's even natural.

no guilt in desire: you want to have sex, but it's because you're in heat, it's not really your fault, not really what you chose to want, it's just nature. That is in a few words what Omegaverse offers, through the heat or rut phenomenons, described as so powerful one can't and should not resist them, sometimes at the risk of death. You're for once completely free of the guilt or shame society tells you to feel when you want sex.

the need for protection: more often than not, Omegaverse fanfics shows a powerful Alpha being protective over their Omega partner(s). They will protect them against any external threats or anyone trying to "steal" them, often displaying animal-related behaviors like baring teeth, growling or straight-on fighting. It can turn into something abusive, no need in denying it, but the loyalty displayed is very appealing for readers who may struggle to find true allies in real life.

exploring consent: what is hotter than a partner so turned on but so respectful that they refuse to take advantage of you because you can't think straight, even if you're begging them to do it? Well that's the premise of quite a few Omegaverse stories (often close to the sex pollen trope in this aspect), and it shows low is the bar for men, when the simple fact of respecting one consent is such a pivotal feature of the appeal.

I think we can add a lot to this list, especially around the concepts of commitment with biting, or nesting. Feel free to add your thoughts (please keep it constructive) on this post in the comments or reblogs!

[pashterlengkap]

Matt Walsh says that GMOs are turning people transgender “to a certain extent”

Anti-transgender activist and Daily Wire writer Matt Walsh is now claiming that genetically modified organisms (GMOs) in food are turning people transgender. Speaking at the University of California, Berkeley at an event that was streamed on Facebook, an audience member asked Walsh: “What biological and chemical changes are occurring in society through pharmaceuticals and food – like genetically modified food – contributing to how people see gender and what we currently see in society and what your film is about?” After saying that it was a “good question,” he agreed. “I think it is contributing to a certain extent,” Walsh responded. “I couldn’t speak with any authority on how that works exactly.” He said that human sperm count has been decreasing “exponentially,” even though that’s not related to GMOs or transgender identity. “Now, I’m not saying that in and of itself explains why we have, you know, the proliferation of transgenderism, but it just goes to show that clearly there’s something in the food, there’s something in our diet and our environment, that’s affecting us at a really basic internal level, and, you know, that’s something I think that’s worth exploring for sure.” Walsh did not go to college and has no expertise related to gender issues, biology, medicine, or transgender identity, but he has still managed to go on a speaking tour of colleges and universities because college Republican organizations often invite pundits who have no qualifications for speaking at educational institutions. The Berkeley College Republicans defended inviting Walsh to campus because, group president David Chan said, trans people’s existence is a political question that must be discussed, and apparently by people who aren’t transgender. “It has nothing to do with hatred, it has nothing to do with marginalizing a community but it has everything to do with raising up political questions I think everyone should discuss,” Chan told NBC Bay Area. LGBTQ students spoke out against his event on campus. “It’s trying to take away from who we are, taking away from our identities,” student senator Manuel Cisneros said. The event featured a screening of Walsh’s anti-transgender propaganda film What is a Woman? Walsh’s statements about GMOs are also bizarre, in part because there are many different kinds of GMOs and it would be very unlikely that they would all have the same effects on people, and also because GMOs are regulated and have to be shown to be safe for human consumption before being sold in the U.S. There is no evidence that GMOs are turning people either cisgender or transgender. http://dlvr.it/SdQ8Yv

[duckprintspress]

Ten Things We Hate About Trad Pub

Often when I say “I’ve started a small press; we publish the works of those who have trouble breaking into traditional publishing!” what people seem to hear is “me and a bunch of sad saps couldn’t sell our books in the Real World so we’ve made our own place with lower standards.” For those with minimal understanding of traditional publishing (trad pub), this reaction is perhaps understandable? But, truly, there are many things to hate about traditional publishing (and, don’t get me wrong - there are things to love about trad pub, too, but that’s not what this list is about) and it’s entirely reasonable for even highly accomplished authors to have no interest in running the gauntlet of genre restrictions, editorial control, hazing, long waits, and more, that make trad pub at best, um, challenging, and at worst, utterly inaccessible to many authors - even excellent ones.

Written in collaboration with @jhoomwrites, with input from @ramblingandpie, here is a list of ten things that we at Duck Prints Press detest about trad pub, why we hate it, and why/how we think things should be different!

(Needless to say, part of why we created Duck Prints Press was to...not do any of these things... so if you’re a writer looking for a publishing home, and you hate these things, too, and want to write with a Press that doesn’t do them...maybe come say hi?)

-

1. Work lengths dictated by genre and/or author experience.

Romance novels can’t be longer than 90,000 words or they won’t sell! New authors shouldn’t try to market a novel longer than 100,000 words!

A good story is a good story is a good story. Longer genre works give authors the chance to explore their themes and develop their plots. How often an author has been published shouldn’t put a cap on the length of their work.

-

2. Editors assert control of story events...except when they don’t.

If you don’t change this plot point, the book won’t market well. Oh, you’re a ten-time bestseller? Write whatever you want, even if it doesn’t make sense we know people will buy it.

Sometimes, a beta or an editor will point out that an aspect of a story doesn’t work - because it’s nonsensical, illogical, Deus ex Machina, etc. - and in those cases it’s of course reasonable for an editor to say, “This doesn’t work and we recommend changing it, for these reasons…” However, when that list of reasons begins and ends with, “...because it won’t sell…” that’s a problem, especially because this is so often applied as a double standard. We’ve all read bestsellers with major plot issues, but those authors get a “bye” because editors don’t want to exert to heavy a hand and risk a proven seller, but with a new, less experienced, or worse-selling author, the gloves come off (even though evidence suggests time and again that publishers’ ability to predict what will sell well is at best low and at worst nonexistent.)

-

3. A billion rejection letters as a required rite of passage (especially when the letters aren't helpful in pinpointing why a work has been rejected or how the author can improve).

Well, my first book was rejected by a hundred Presses before it was accepted! How many rejection letters did you get before you got a bite? What, only one or two? Oh…

How often one succeeds or fails to get published shouldn’t be treated as a form of hazing, and we all know that how often someone gets rejected or accepted has essentially no bearing on how good a writer they are. Plenty of schlock goes out into the world after being accepted on the first or second try...and so does plenty of good stuff! Likewise, plenty of schlock will get rejected 100 times but due to persistence, luck, circumstances, whatever, finally find a home, and plenty of good stuff will also get rejected 100 times before being publishing. Rejections (or lack there of) as a point of pride or as a means of judging others needs to die as a rite of passage among authors.

-

4. Query letters, for so many reasons.

Summarize all your hard work in a single page! Tell us who you’re like as an author and what books your story is like, so we can gauge how well it’ll sell based on two sentences about it! Format it exactly the way we say or we won’t even consider you!

For publishers, agents, and editors who have slush piles as tall as Mount Everest...we get it. There has to be a way to differentiate. We don’t blame you. Every creative writing class, NaNoWriMo pep talk, and college lit department combine to send out hundreds of thousands of people who think all they need to do to become the next Ernest Hemingway is string a sentence together. There has to be some way to sort through that pile...but God, can’t there be a better way than query letters? Especially since even with query letters being used it often takes months or years to hear back, and...

-

5. "Simultaneous submissions prohibited.”

No, we don’t know when we’ll get to your query, but we’ll throw it out instantly if you have the audacity to shop around while you wait for us.

The combination of “no simultaneous submissions” with the query letter bottleneck makes success slow and arduous. It disadvantages everyone who aims to write full-time but doesn’t have another income source (their own, or a parents’, or a spouse’s, or, or or). The result is that entire classes of people are edged out of publishing solely because the process, especially for writers early in their career, moves so glacially that people have to earn a living while they wait, and it’s so hard to, for example, work two jobs and raise a family and also somehow find the time to write. Especially considering that the standard advice for dealing with “no simultaneous submissions” is “just write something else while you wait!” ...the whole system screams privilege.

-

6. Genres are boxes that must be fit into and adhered to.

Your protagonist is 18? Then obviously your book is Young Adult. It doesn’t matter how smutty your book is, erotica books must have sex within the first three chapters, ideally in the first chapter. Sorry, we’re a fantasy publisher, if you have a technological element you don’t belong here…

While some genre boxes have been becoming more like mesh cages of late, with some flow of content allowed in and out, many remain stiff prisons that constrict the kinds of stories people can tell. Even basic cross-genre works often struggle to find a place, and there’s no reason for it beyond “if we can’t pigeon-hole a story, it’s harder to sell.” This edges out many innovative, creative works. It also disadvantages people who aren’t as familiar with genre rules. And don’t get me wrong - this isn’t an argument that, for example, the romance genre would be improved by opening up to stories that don’t have “happily ever afters.” Instead, it’s pointing out - there should also be a home for, say, a space opera with a side romance, an erotica scene, and a happily-for-now ending. Occasionally, works breakthrough, but for the most part stories that don’t conform never see the light of day (or, they do, but only after Point 2 - trad pub editors insist that the elements most “outside” the box be removed or revised).

-

7. The lines between romance and erotica are arbitrary, random, and hetero- and cis-normative.

This modern romance novel won’t sell if it doesn’t have an explicit sex scene, but God forbid you call a penis a penis. Oh, no, this is far too explicit, even though the book only has one mlm sex scene, this is erotica.

The difference between “romance” and “erotica” might not matter so much if not for the stigmas attached to erotica and the huge difference in marketability and audience. The difference between “romance” and “erotica” also might not matter so much if not for the fact that, so often, even incredibly raunchy stories that feature cis straight male/cis straight female sex scenes are shelved as romance, but the moment the sex is between people of the same gender, and/or a trans or genderqueer person is involved, and/or the relationship is polyamorous, and/or the characters involved are literally anything other than a cis straight male pleasuring a cis straight female in a “standard” way (cunnilingus welcome, pegging need not apply)...then the story is erotica. Two identical stories will get assigned different genres based on who the people having sex are, and also based on the “skill” of the author to use ludicrous euphemisms (instead of just...calling body parts what they’re called…), and it’s insane. Non-con can be a “romance” novel, even if it’s graphically described. “50 Shades of Gray” can sell millions of copies, even containing BDSM. But the word “vagina” gets used once...bam, erotica. (Seriously, the only standard that should matter is the Envelope Analogy).

-

8. Authors are expected to do a lot of their own legwork (eg advertising) but then don't reap the benefits.

Okay, so, you’re going to get an advance of $2,500 on this, your first novel, and a royalty rate of 5% if and only if your advance sells out...so you’d better get out there and market! Wait, what do you mean you don’t have a following? Guess you’re never selling out your advance…

Trad pub can generally be relied on to do some marketing - so this item is perhaps better seen as an indictment of more mid-sized Presses - but, basically, if an author has to do the majority of the work themselves, then why aren’t they getting paid more? What’s the actual benefit to going the large press/trad pub route if it’s not going to get the book into more hands? It’s especially strange that this continues to be a major issue when self-publishing (which also requires doing one’s own marketing) garners 60%+ royalty rates. Yes, the author doesn’t get an advance, and they don’t get the cache of ~well I was published by…~, but considering some Presses require parts of advances to get paid back if the initial run doesn’t sell out, and cache doesn’t put food on the table...pay models have really, really got to change.

-

9. Fanfiction writing doesn't count as writing experience

Hey there Basic White Dude, we see you’ve graduated summa cum laude from A Big Fancy Expensive School. Of course we’ll set you up to publish your first novel you haven’t actually quite finished writing yet. Oh, Fanperson, you’ve written 15 novels for your favorite fandom in the last 4 years? Get to the back of the line!

Do I really need to explain this? The only way to get better at writing is to write. Placing fanfiction on official trad pub “do not interact” lists is idiotic, especially considering many of the other items on this list. (They know how to engage readers! They have existing followings! They understand genre and tropes!) Being a fanfiction writer should absolutely be a marketable “I am a writer” skill. Nuff said. (To be clear, I’m not saying publishers should publish fanfiction, I’m saying that being a fanfiction writer is relevant and important experience that should be given weight when considering an author’s qualifications, similar to, say, publishing in a university’s quarterly.)

-

10. Tagging conventions (read: lack thereof).

Oh, did I trigger you? Hahahaha. Good luck with that.

We rate movies so that people can avoid content they don’t like. Same with TV shows and video games. Increasingly, those ratings aren’t just “R - adult audiences,” either; they contain information about the nature of the story elements that have led to the rating (“blood and gore,” “alcohol reference,” “cartoon violence,” “drug reference,” “sexual violence,” “use of tobacco,” and many, many more). So why is it that I can read a book and, without warning, be surprised by incest, rape, graphic violence, explicit language, glorification of drug and alcohol use, and so so much more? That it’s left to readers to look up spoilers to ensure that they’re not exposed to content that could be upsetting or inappropriate for their children or, or, or, is insane. So often, too, authors cling to “but we don’t want to give away our story,” as if video game makes and other media makers do want to give away their stories. This shouldn’t be about author egos or ~originality~ (as if that’s even a thing)...it should be about helping readers make informed purchasing decisions. It’s way, way past time that major market books include content warnings.

Thank you for joining us, this has been our extended rant about how frustrated we are with traditional publishing. Helpful? No. Cathartic? Most definitely yes. 🤣

*

Have a question about writing? Drop us an ask!

Like what we do and want to support us? You can buy us a ko-fi - or get access to exclusive content by backing us on Patreon!

[spanishskulduggery]

Hi! I'm very curious about something regarding the Spanish language. I'm currently studying A2 Spanish but I had this question and my teacher did not seem too willing to discuss it. Here it goes:

I know that Spanish has, something my Spanish teacher says, linguistic gender. I was wondering how do the people who don't align themselves with the gender binary (masculine and feminine) speak/write in it? I have read this article about Spanish speaking people from US adding "x" Or "@" and people from Argentina using "e" to make the words gender neutral.

Thank you so much for responding, whenever you get to it. Also love your blog. ❤

Short answer, in general speaking terms people are tending towards the -e now because the other two are very hard to actually speak, and because Spanish-speakers feel the -e is more authentic

What you're most likely to see in Spanish is masculine plural as the default, or in written things you might see todos y todas or like un/una alumno/a "a student", or like se busca empleado/a "employees wanted" / "looking for an employee"

If it's something official or academic you typically include both [todas y todas] or you go masculine plural [todos] unless it's specifically feminine plural

-

Related, linguistic gender applies to all things, not just people. Why is la mesa "table" feminine, but el libro "book" masculine? Just linguistic gender. I can tell you that most loanwords (that aren't people) in Spanish are masculine, and that there are certain words that come from Greek are masculine, and that -ista words are unisex most of the time... And I can tell you there are some words like testigo or modelo that are unisex and don't change for gender. Aside from that, speaking about nouns and grammatical gender... those particular things are harder to parse for regular people, but if you go into the field of linguistics you can explore that more deeply. Some of it is source language (i.e. "it came from Latin this way") or things like that. And in general when talking about nouns it's unimportant and not considered sexist, that's just how it is.

There is such a thing where it gets a little too far the other way and people will say "history? what about herstory" which is a nice thought but the etymology has nothing to do with gender there

When it comes to people - and when it comes to gendered attitudes - that's where it gets more confusing and more complicated.

I believe there was an experiment where people had French and Spanish speakers [I believe it was Spanish] try to identify how a "fork" would sound. French people gave it a more feminine voice because "fork" is feminine in French, while Spanish speakers gave it a more masculine voice because it's masculine in Spanish.

Whether we like it or not, certain gendered things do influence our thoughts and feelings and reactions. A similar thing in English exists where the old joke was something like "There was a car accident; a boy is rushed to the ER and the surgeon but the father was killed. When they got to the ER the doctor said 'I can't operate on him, he's my son!'" and it's like "well who could the doctor be?" ...and the doctor is his mother. We associate "doctor" as masculine and "nurse" as feminine.

There's a gender bias in our language thought patterns, even though the language changes. And that does exist in Spanish too, to different extents.

There are certain cultural and gendered stereotypes or connotations attached to certain words, many tend to be more despective or pejorative when it's women.

For example - and I know this has changed in many places or it isn't as prevalent - el jinete "horseman/rider", while the female form is la amazona "horsewoman/rider". Because la jinete or la jineta was sometimes "promiscuous woman".

There were also debates about things like la presidente vs. la presidenta or what the female version of juez should be, whether it should be la juez or la jueza

Most languages with gendered language have varying degrees of this, and all languages I'm aware of have gendered stereotypes related to professions or cultural attitudes in some way, and not just for women, and not all in the same way with some of them being very culturally based

-

The longer answer involves a bit of history, and I'll be honest, some of it is contested or considered a little controversial in Spanish-speaking countries particularly in the conservative parts (which honestly should come as no surprise)

The first symbol that I know of that came about was the X

First piece of contested history: As far as I know, it was the trans/queer and drag communities in Latin America who started the trend of X. When there were signs or bulletins that had the gendered endings - specifically masculine plural as the default plural - people would write a big X through the O. This was a way of being inclusive and also a very smash the patriarchy move.

Some people attribute this to women's rights activists which may also be true, but a good portion of the things I read from people say it was the trans/queer/drag communities in Latin America doing this.

I've also read it originated in Brazil with Portuguese; still Latin America, but not a Spanish-speaking country.

Where it's most contested is that some people will say that this trend started in the Hispanic communities of the United States. And - not without reason - people are upset that this is perceived as a very gringo movement.

That's why Latinx is considered a very American-Hispanic experience

-

The arroba (@) is relatively new. I remember seeing it in the 2000s. I don't know if it existed earlier for gender inclusivity.

People used it because it looks like a combination of O and A, so it was meant to be cut down on saying things like todos y todas or niños y niñas in informal written speech

I remember quite a few (informal) emails starting like hola tod@s or muy buenas a tod@s or things like that

I think of it more as convenience especially in the information age where you never knew who you were talking to and it's easier than including both words, especially when masculine plural might be clumsy or insensitive

Still, it's practically impossible to use the @ in spoken Spanish, so it's better for writing casually. You also likely won't be allowed to use the @ in anything academic, but in chatrooms, blogs, or forums it's an option

-

I love the E ending. And the gender neutral form in singular is elle... so it's él "he", ella "she", and elle "they (singular)"

The -e ending is I think became more common within the past 10 years though it might have existed longer than that. These sorts of changes tend to come from the queer or trans communities and tend to be more insular before becoming more of an outside thing that then the general population finds out about

It came about because there are some adjectives in Spanish that end in -e that are unisex. It's not an A, it's not an O, but it's something grammatically neutral for Spanish

It's not as awkward as X, and E exists very firmly in Spanish so it's not perceived as some outside (typically gringo) influence

The good news is, it's pretty widespread on the internet. Not so much in person (yet), but especially in Spain and Argentina at least from what I've seen, particularly in the queer communities and online culture.

The only issues with it are that for non-native speakers, you have to get used to any spelling changes. Like amigo and amiga, but to use the E ending you have to add a U... so it's amigue.

That's because there are certain words where you have to do spelling changes to preserve the sound; gue has a hard G sound like -go does [like guerra]... but ge has the equivalent of an English H sound [gelatina for example]. Another one is cómico/a "funny" which would go to cómique. Again, because co has a hard C/K sound, while ce is a soft sound more like an S or in some contexts TH/Z sound; like centro is a soft sound, while cola is a hard sound

Unless you make it to the preterite forms where you come across like pagué, alcancé, practiqué with those types of endings... or subjunctive forms, pague, alcance, practique ... Basically you'd have to be exposed to those spelling rules or you'd be really confused if you were a total beginner.

It all makes sense when you speak it, but spelling might be harder before you learn those rules

The other drawback is that the E endings are sometimes not applicable. Like in damas y caballeros "ladies and gentlemen" there's not really a gender neutral variation on that, it's all binary there. And while la caballero "female knight" does exist, you'd never see a male variation on dama; the closest I've ever seen is calling a guy a damisela en apuros "damsel in distress" in some contexts where the man needs rescuing, and it's feminine una/la damisela, and it's very tongue-in-cheek

There are also some contexts like jefe vs jefa where I guess you would say jefe for "boss" if you were going the neutral route, but it's a bit weird because it's also the masculine option.

I can't speak for how people might feel about those if they're non-binary or agender because every so often you kind of get forced into the binary whether you like it or not

I totally support the E, I just recognize there are some limitations there and it's quirks of the Spanish language itself

Important Note: Just to reiterate, E endings are the ones most Spanish-speakers prefer because it's easiest to speak and doesn't have the American connotation that X does in some circles

-

Where it gets very "Facebook comment section" is that you'll see many Latin Americans traditionalists and conservatives claim that "this is just the gringos colonizing our language" and "grammatical gender doesn't matter in Spanish". They'll say that the "gender movement" is an American feminist movement and that it's a gringo thing and doesn't reflect actual Latin Americans or Spanish-speakers

Which on the one hand, yes, English does have a lot of undue influence on other languages because of colonization, and American influence and meddling in Latin American politics is a big important issue

But as far as I'm aware of the X (and especially the E) were created by Latin Americans

The other issue I personally have is that any time this conversation comes up, someone will say something like somos latinOs and claim that masculine plural is gender neutral

To that I say, first of all, "masculine plural" is inherently gendered. Additionally, there is a gender neutral in Spanish but it's lo or ello and it's only used with "it" so it sounds very unfriendly to use on an actual person... and in plural it looks like masculine plural and everything applies like masculine plural

Second, the reason masculine plural is default is because of machismo. It's more important that we don't possibly misgender a man, so it has to be masculine plural. It's changed in some places, but growing up when I was learning Spanish, if it was 99 women and 1 man you still had to put masculine plural

I'm not opposed to there being a default, and I understand why it's easier to use masculine plural, but some people get very upset at the idea of inclusive language

...

In general, my biggest issues with these comments come when people act like non-binary/queer/trans people don't exist in Spanish-speaking countries, like English invented them somehow. So it's nice to see linguistic self-determination and seeing native speakers using the E endings.

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin

There is of course so much wrong with this phrase, and my tag for it is full of various reasons — among them being that people only ever seem to pull it out when it comes to LGBTQA+ persons; it’s othering; it’s not even anywhere in the Bible; and there is evidence it causes real harm — but...

to me the worst thing is that when you say "hate the sin, love the sinner" about an LGBTA+/queer person, what you're saying is "I see the way that the image of God manifests you as sin.”

You’re saying, “I see the Holy Spirit’s gifts to you as sin.” You’re saying, “I see intrinsic elements of who you are, elements that when nurtured can blossom into good fruit for you and for all who come into contact with you, as sin."

To look at what God calls Good and declare it evil is the real “sin” here.

Matthew 12 includes the story of a time that Jesus healed a man whom the people of the day perceived as demon-possessed. Now, some of the people who heard of this compassionate act reasoned that the only way Jesus could have cast out demons is if he’s receiving power from demons (v. 24. And yes, they were Pharisees — but see my #pharisees tag to learn about how to be mindful about the antisemitism in always painting pharisees as the bad guys.)

Jesus’s response to this is to ask why Satan would wage war against himself, and assert that a divided community is a doomed community. “But if,” he says, “I cast out demons by the Spirit of God, then already the Kingdom of God has come upon you.” 

...And then he says a really uncomfortable thing: 

"Every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven of human beings; but blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven. So if anyone speaks a word against the Son of Humanity, it will be forgiven them; but anyone who speaks against the Holy Spirit, it will not be forgiven them, neither in this age nor in the incoming one” (verses 31-32).

I'm typically wary of accusing anyone of committing this so-called "unforgivable sin" — but. When a person insists on seeing queerness as sin, they ARE saying that something that came from the Holy Spirit is evil. To call a good relationship or way of being sinful is blasphemy against the Spirit who guided and blessed that person, that relationship.

Now, I don't think they're "never gonna be forgiven" for that, because they don't know it's what they're doing. (I also don’t believe in hell / eternal punishment, but that’s a whole ’nother story. Also, does having a sin against you that will “not be forgiven” necessarily = eternal punishment anyway?) But it does put them in the wrong in a major way. They must be held accountable, must be prevented from continuing to hurt other human beings with their words and actions.

But Avery, you ask, how do you know queerness comes from the Holy Spirit?

Jesus answers that in this chapter, too! 

“Either consider the tree good and its fruit good, or consider the tree rotten and its fruit rotten. A tree is known by its fruit” (v. 33).

I have a whole tag about good fruit, primarily the good fruit borne when LGBTA+/queer folk are able to live into their gender and sexuality instead of feeling forced to repress of change those aspects of themselves. As Rachel Held Evans once wrote,

“If same-sex relationships are really sinful, then why do they so often produce good fruit—loving families, open homes, self-sacrifice, commitment, faithfulness, joy? And if conservative Christians are really right in their response to same-sex relationships, then why does that response often produce bad fruit—secrets, shame, depression, loneliness, broken families, and fear?”

The fruits of being told by someone you love that they love you, but hate your “sin” — i.e. certain intrinsic aspects of who you are and how you relate to others — are rotten fruits indeed: shame and self-loathing, alienation, broken relationships, communities fragmented into “us” (those who don’t commit this so-called sin) and “them” (those who do).

Meanwhile, the good fruit of queerness speaks to the goodness of its tree, its source. God is the source of our queerness, as God is the source of all that is good, all that is life-giving, all the diversity of humanity that brings vibrance and an endless variety of ways to glorify God.

_______

Further Reading

Exploring the phrase “Love the Sin, Hate the Sinner”:

A piece that explores the phrase’s origins, whether it’s good theology, and how it harms relationships

Article that emphasizes the alienating and dividing consequences of the phrase (be aware the article uses binary language + makes some anti-pharisee comments)

Tumblr post explaining the shame this phrase brings and that “you only hate what we do, but what we do is living.”

“3 Reasons ‘Love the Sinner Hate the Sin’ is an Abomination”

Exploring how queerness / LGBTQA+ identities are indeed from God and affirmed by God as part of the vital diversity of humanity

Nadia Bolz-Weber’s “Sex; a Benediction”

“Your queerness is a gift”

Video: How queerness is a vital, fruitful part of our faith

God rejoices in our transition(s) with us

The Bible + Christian history are full of trans-resonant figures

“What’s God’s point of view on nonbinary people?”

More info about how being LGBTQ+ is not a sin

[lunaefall]

Why Kazu's Treatment Pisses Me Off: An Angry Rant By A Nonbinary POC

Trigger warnings for racism and transphobia.

This post will contain spoilers from the latest gen: LOCK episode, so if you haven't caught up, I guess there's that. Let's be real, most of us aren't watching it because it's not available in our countries so you'll probably go into spoilers anyway like I did.

I don't recommend watching this episode if you're a trans/nonbinary person and extremely uncomfortable and triggered by trans characters suffering and dying. This episode can be triggering to POC too, especially East Asians.

So what happened was, Kazu was revealed as trans. I don't really know their pronouns so I'll be using they/them, but there was an entire self discovery arc with them exploring their gender identity and body.

Along with that, Kazu is an Asian character and seeing them as part of the main cast meant a lot to Asians, especially East Asians.

And then . . . they get killed off. Right after they were confirmed as trans. Right after the exploration of the love between them and Val, a queer romance, where both the characters were genderqueer — something we need to see more often.

I'm tired of seeing trans characters, characters who are POC, die or suffer in some other way. It's not hard to give characters representing us happy endings for once. It's like there's an obsession with putting minorities through a pain fest in fiction.

Gen: LOCK meant so much to people from different minority groups, and none of that trust from the past should ever be expected now. I know for a fact that I'll never move past it. This was evil.

HBO, Warner Media, you screwed up. Learn from this and do better.