#...i probably have some stuff to work though with that

[babycharmander]

PSA for TF2 Fanartists

(And... really for everyone on the creative side of the fandom, but artists are the ones hurt by this the most.)

I've been seeing some really concerning stuff here that is going unnoticed. Granted, I don't think this is any artist's fault--if anything, the artists are the victims here. But that's why I want to make you guys aware of this, so you can protect yourself from this sort of thing.

"This sort of thing" being a little something called fetish mining.

Fetish mining is when someone with a specific fetish attempts to trick someone else into providing them with content for their fetish... without letting them know that's what they're asking for. Outside of fandom spaces, this can look like someone with a foot fetish approaching someone who is selling socks, and asking them to "model" the socks for them--they're not actually interested in buying the socks, they just want to see pictures of feet.

Within fandom spaces, however, they often take the form of someone repeatedly requesting something featuring a very specific body part of a character, or repeatedly requesting art of a character performing a weirdly specific action. (The repeated part is important here--someone could just say "oh hey could you draw this character shirtless?" once, and that would probably be fine. There's a chance it could be a fetish thing, sure, but it's significantly less likely. Same with a really random request--someone could request something really specific, but if they only do so once, it's significantly less likely to be a fetish mining request.) They might also provide an excuse like, "oh, I think this would be really funny! :)" or "this is a joke request! but it would be hilarious if you drew it"

So what are some examples of this?

Well... they might look a little something like this:

[ID: Two screenshots of two different anonymous asks. The first one reads "HEAVY TF2 TUMMY" with multiple red exclamation points afterward, and the second reads "Sniper tf2 teeth" followed by multiple red exclamation points. /end ID]

(I was going to feature another but then realized it wasn't anonymous, and I'm not comfortable putting an actual blog on blast.)

If these were just one-off asks, that would be one thing, but if you look up these things, you'll see dozens of these asks.

As well, there's nothing wrong with drawing Heavy shirtless, or drawing Sniper baring his teeth. Having fetishes for stomachs or teeth is not wrong, either, nor is specifically requesting fetish art (so long as the artist is okay with such requests)!

The problem is that the specificness of these asks, combined with how frequently these asks get sent, are signs of fetish mining.

(Though another problem is that... this isn't always a 100%-for-sure sign of fetish mining. Some people have special interests that might not be a typical thing like a fandom or hobby or branch of science, but could just be something oddly specific like stomachs or teeth. These things are okay and are not bad! But requests relating to these things can, unfortunately, look identical to fetish mining.)

And again, fetish mining is a person sneakily asking for someone else to provide them with something that is fetish material for them--something that is sexual for them--without letting that person know that's what it's for.

This makes it a form of sexual harassment.

I feel like a lot of the fandom is... not really aware of what's going on, here, and it's distressing. These are very likely bad actors trying to take advantage of people and get away with sexually harassing others (including minors). This is not okay. No part of that is okay.

The best thing to do when faced with a request that seems oddly specific is to look it up, and, if there seem to be multiple requests of this nature, to ignore it--do not fulfill the request. Do not encourage this behavior. (Unless you're okay with drawing that kind of content, but like... if that's the case, then tag your work appropriately.)

Don't feel bad if you've fulfilled some of these requests in the past--you didn't know, and being tricked is not your fault. But now that you do know, you can hopefully better protect yourself from this kind of thing.

[yeehawpim]

hello! i know this is a bit of a strange ask, but i really wanted to convey this to you. i just picked up your webcomic and it's resonated very, very deeply with me in a way i can't put into words properly. it's not an exaggeration to say that i cried the entire time reading it, and for a few hours after, too — though i know that's probably not the intent. i can't say much about what i've been through, but seeing your webcomic really means a lot to me, and i wanted to thank you for writing it. i look forwards to many more chapters to come. (ps; do you have any tips on how to tell the two friends apart visually?)

First of all thank you so much for sending this ask, it's not weird at all! It means so much to me that my comic connected with you that much, it's very much a collection of subjects that are important to me. Sometimes after crying or laughing about a thought, I gotta make something to share it. To hear that you felt it too makes me happy, and I hope you got some relief after the crying

As for telling the friends apart, one is always on the left and one is always on the right. If you keep that in mind, you might see that I differentiate between how I write them (hopefully, if I've done my job well haha).

But this isn't enough of an obvious way of doing it, so further on in the webcomic I've written stuff where they'll become more distinguishable since it's important to me they're different individuals. I'm already doing it in the graphic novel I'm working on, as you can see here lol

(even though they're not wearing the hat/boots in the preview, yes I had to go back and fix it like a week after I posted originally😅)

[prettyboykatsuki]

tags for pegging, fem + afab!reader, bottom toji + bisexual toji, sex work, 18+

in my mind... i think toji has probably bottomed before at least once in his life. he's only been with men in that sense though, and even then - given his appearance, he's still more used to topping. shiu joked to him once that women can tell his dick is all he's good for and it makes toji laugh since it's not entirely untrue. he's experiment, had a few freaks who wanted him on bottom and not the other way around.

but when that's the occasion, it's still mostly just some guy trying to get their rocks off. what it feels like to toji is of no importance, not really. it's just something to get their dicks wet and well, whatever. toji can respect that

you probably meet toji in some bar where he's trying to pick up a woman to take him home so he's not out on the streets. he finds you beautiful so he chats you up like always. he's good at it. and you seem a little smug, a little amused but you flirt back. he can tell you've got money so he makes sure to pull out all the stops.

you work something out, but you warn toji that you've got pretty nasty tastes. in his head he's whatever about it. he's done a lot more than most, and all kinds of kinky play both in his personal life and not. he's thinking you want what most business want which is choking or some slapping - something to take the edge off.

that ends up being very far from the truth. you tell him flat what you want to do to him which is fuck him. like... actually fuck him. you show him the collecting of toys and everything. it's nothing he's never done before so he doesn't think anything of it. and admittedly the thought is...weirdly exciting even if it confuses him. it's not like you get anything out of it, right?

still though - he does as told. gets clean in your shower and comes out. you're the same as you were in the bar. maybe softer, really. your way of speech is warmer as you guide him into your bed.

weirdly enough - you're strict. you bind his wrists at the start and only unbind them when you go to fuck him. and you do a lot of the legwork. and it's very different to any other experience he's ever had in his life. it's a little embarrassing, a little shameful - but he's so fucking hard seeing it. such a beautiful woman treating him like that - it's fuckin' embarrassing. it's crazy how good it feels. he doesn't know how you do it, but you do it well and it feels good.

but it's different from every other kind of pleasure. you help get him open on your fingers and you're rubbing a spot that makes his stomach feel like it's burning from the inside. he's panting, drooling in your bed - and you coo at him the entire time like a tamed dog. he can only think to describe it as affectionate and it has a powerful effect on his dick.

you don't touch his dick at all no matter how much he asks. not once after you secure it tight behind him so rings. so he's cumming from the inside for the first time and it's ridiculous.

by the time it's fine for you to fuck him - he's not just going with the flow. he's shamefully eager, shamefully desperate. he's kinda self-aware about the whole matter but his dick hurts and you promise to let him cum at least after. so he wants to get to it as fast as he can.

he's taken stuff in before, knows how it feels - but his insides have never been all that sensitive and they've never been so big. you've been abusing them for the last hour. stretching, touching, rubbing. fucking torture. so when you finally do slip your cock in - it feels like getting a punch to the lungs.

it's so deep. so stupidly deep it makes him go fucking limp in your bed. you put a hand on his stomach when you bottom out and he can feel you from the inside. he cums faster from the inside. it's the stretch and swell and buck of your hips so mean into the fucking spot that makes him spray all over his chest.

you fuck better than he could've guessed. the motion is rhythmic and precise. pretty, sharp nails digging into his hips in missionary before getting him on his knees and taking from behind. you make it clear he's not allowed to touch his dick. treating him like a sleeve for your cock instead of a person.

he knows about stuff like this on the other end, but damn does it feel different this way. and it effects him, makes him drunk in a weird way that a woman as beautiful as you is making him cum so filthy. and he's exposing all that to you with no regard at all.

you're merciless but you give in eventually his dick is practically bursting when you take the ring off and let him cum one time proper - barely a stroke of hands before it spills between your fingers and you wipe it back onto his skin.

"you're fun to play with," is the only thing you say at the end. and he doesn't know if he should laugh or not so he smiles and says.

"wanna play with me again, then?"

he's pleased when you agree. he thinks it'd suck if that was the last time. just once was all it took to get him there. get him hooked

but given how fast you've learned to yank his leash, you probably knew that'd be the case beforehand. he's more than happy to give into you since that's the case.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 22)

Uzi did finally get that baby bag.

It wasn't much, a glorified swaddle made from a purple blanket that wrapped around her torso so that Tera could rest at her side without pulling while she walked around. It had been almost scary, she'd seen new mothers walk around with them all the time when she was younger.

And now… here she was, baby strapped to her side as she went home. Home as in, her dad's apartment, her apartment, or maybe not anymore, after today.

N had gone off to pick up the newly made crib early that morning, yes morning. Neither of them had needed to go outside for a least a week, and they're schedules were starting to cycle back into what other drones would consider normal.

But even then it gave them a little time to talk about how raising Tera was going to work.

Her room in her apartment was too small to raise a baby in, it was almost too small for her, with stuff just shoved unceremoniously wherever there was room. It was too messy, and dangerous! Her railgun was still in peices on the couch, and while it was broken there were still several parts that could discharge and hurt someone.

Which left N's apartment, which had plenty of room, as it was nearly empty, he'd brought in the very little stuff he owned (blankets, pillows and plush toys) but all of that easily fit in the bedroom with plenty of room to spare.

Plenty of room for her stuff.

And that thought on it's own made her fluster, they'd spent plenty of nights together, especially recently. But it had always been under the pretense that she'd be going back home eventually. That she didn't live there.

Robo-god she was about to see her dad. Her dad which had zero context for what she was about to unleash on him. That her and N were together now, that he had a granddaughter, that she was… moving out.

So much had happened this week. Hell, so much had been happening almost every week. And all of it was stressful, wether it be life threatening or just life changing, it seemed like after years of nothing happening, it was all catching up with her with everything happening at once.

“Doorman?” A voice she recognized, a voice she really didn’t want to see, preferably ever, but especially not right now, with Tera awake and babbling from her bag.

“What is it Lizzy?” She deadpanned, not bringing any attention to the baby strapped to her side even though that was clearly what caught the other drones attention, her pink eyes locked to the bag in surprise.

“Oh shit, that was actually your kid?” Lizzy immediately asked, making Uzi roll her eyes as she remembered that Lizzy was the one that had initially exposed her.

“Yup. This is Tera.” Admitting it at first felt strange, like her tongue had wanted to reject it, but it quickly settled into contentment, yeah, this was right. And honestly, trying to make Lizzy feel bad about something felt too good to say anything else.

“I had wanted to keep some things private, but somebody took a picture of us bringing her home.” Yeah she wasn't going to let Lizzy get away with that without a jab or two, she'd caused a bigger headache than what was already happening, and Uzi was itching for some revenge, even if it was just light teasing.

“Oh come on! Like you wouldn't have done the same thing.” She snapped back, although she sounded less bratty than usual, although wether that was V's influence or the fact a baby was present was unclear.

“Snapped a picture, totally, blackmail is blackmail, immediately post it to every inbox in range… No.” She replied, not wanting this conversation to last much longer than it had to, she didn't particularly like Lizzy, her being a main source of her suffering for a long time.

She just needed to get that jab in.

Lizzy just scoffed, looking her up and down and crossing her arms as if searching for something, probably something else to mock her for, Uzi found herself rolling her eyes again, turning to walk away from her and the conversation before Lizzy started talking again.

“Sorry or whatever, I thought you were just babysitting or something. Didn't think it'd be a big deal.”

Holy Shit, was Lizzy apologizing?

“Uh.” Honestly Uzi wasn't sure how to respond, she'd wanted her to feel bad sure, but she wasn't sure if that was even possible, and she'd never in a million years think she'd be hearing Lizzy apologize.

“Yeah, sure.” Is what came defensively out of her mouth as she walked away, Tera blew a raspberry at Lizzy from the bag, giggling when she got pink hollow eyelights in return.

Okay, so maybe she could keep her edginess and still be motherly figure to Tera, that hadn't occurred to her as an option, a part of her thought she'd become a different person, and maybe she was around N and Tera behind closed doors, but here? She didn't feel soft, she felt like she always did, slightly bitter, like licorice.

She passed more drones on her way, some didn't seem to notice her which was absolutely fine with her, but some definitely did, stopping and staring at the neighborhood goth carrying around a giggling baby in a cute little purple swaddle.

She could understand why they were staring, it was quite the image, but it didn't mean she had to like it.

Tera on the other hand was loving the attention, each set of eyelights on her produced another laugh and some rolling that had Uzi holding the side of the bag so she wouldn't roll out onto the floor.

One drone was a little too obvious for Uzi's liking, staring at the bag like it would suddenly come to life and harm him.

“Hey! Stop staring and mind your business!” She turned to the guy, who immediately looked scared out of his mind, his purple eyelights hollowing as he nodded.

“Yes ma’am sorry!” He raised his hands before scampering away with his tail between his legs, if he had one, that is.

She smirked a little before moving on, it was a powerful feeling, to scare someone off, and it was satisfying as well, she didn't like the way he was looking at her baby.

She finally, finally reached where she wanted to be, well not wanted, she wanted to be anywhere else. But where she needed to be.

She knocked. Which was weird because it was her door, she had the key to get in whenever she wanted. But it still felt like the right thing to do at the moment, she heard shuffling from the other side of the heavy steel, great, her dad was home.

Her dad, the one who'd left her to die, the one who left her alone to cry herself to sleep after her mother died, the main reason her core had such heavy shielding protecting the softness inside. Why her first instinct to any problem was to yell at it, or turn to science to better choose violence.

She held a lot of resentment towards him, something she'd shown time and time again, a part of her wanting to hurt him the same way he'd been hurting her. But she could never bring herself to hate him, not when she did still have memories of him being a halfway decent father, holding her when she'd have nightmares, giving her piggyback rides, being the first one to teach her about mechanics, and give her her first toolset.

“Coming!” Khan shouted, he'd been drafting of some blueprints. Not of doors, but of something for N, if he wanted it.

A cap for his tail, made out of solid steel and form fitting, so it slid right over the needle, it was just a concept for now, he didn't have the exact measurements of his tail and he wasn't even sure N would want something like that, he seemed to have good control over it. But if Khan had a tail with a stinger, he'd want to make sure his infant daughter couldn't accidentally grab it, just to be safe.

So really it was gift for Tera, but, nonetheless.

He opened the door, surprised to see his daughter of all drones knocking, she never knocked, she lived here!

“Uzi? Why'd you knock? Did you lose your key?” He tilted his head in confusion before his eyes followed the strap of the baby bag, he blinked, and tiny purple eyelights blinked back.

“I-is that?” His voice almost immediately turned warbly, he didn't hadn't ever seen Tera before, he didn't realize how much she looked like his daughter, at least when she was also a pillbaby.

“That's Tera Dad, can I- can I come in?” Her voice sounded muted, not like the fiery rebellious drone he'd come to know as his daughter, he moved out of the way wordlessly, eyes still trained on the tiny droneling at her side.

She was giggling at him, rolling madly in an attempt to escape her confines, Uzi dipped her arm into the bag and lifted her up into her arms.

“Stop squirming Jellybean, or you're gonna fall.”

Tera was just happy for the attention attempting to roll more even though she was trapped in Uzi's hands. She sighed.

“Sorry, she has a lot of energy.” She smiled warily at her dad, who looked like his core had been ejected and thrown halfway across the room.

All he could see was his wife, the first month or two they had Uzi and she was a cryer, there were no moments of silence in the Doorman household, if Uzi was left alone for even a millisecond she'd begin to wail which meant either Nori or himself would have to be with her at all hours.

And Uzi shared her mother's stress lines, looking a little bit worn out but satisfied and happy, eye's shining with so much raw affection for the child in her arms that Khan knew, without another word spoken, that he had a granddaughter.

“That's quite alright dronelette…” He managed to force out the words, hopefully without sounding too strained, he wanted Uzi to feel comfortable enough to talk to him, to tell him things. Even if she thought he didn't like it.

And a part of him didn't, she was 18, not quite even an adult yet but her birthday was coming up soon. And dammit she was still his daughter, watching her grow up this much in such a little amount of time was harrowing, and only reminded him of how much he'd missed while wallowing in his grief.

Another part of him was almost giddy, a granddaughter, a granddaughter, it was honestly something he never even hoped to have, Uzi had never been one to make freinds, much less romantic connections.

“Yeah- uh, this is Tera, N's daughter.” She repeated, obviously nervous and tired. Khan wondered if N looked equally run down. And if perhaps Tera was the same level of clingy Uzi had been.

“I wanted you to meet her, since I've been spending so much time with the both of them…”

He could only bring himself to smile and nod, but wanted to freeze as Uzi came toward him and outstretched her arms, he clumsily stepped forward and took the tiny droneling into his arms, core stopping for a moment.

“She learns names pretty quick, oh, and she's a hugger, so uh, beware.” She warned, still seemingly nervous, he was sure he'd know exactly why soon, although he had a feeling he might already know.

Khan looked down at the baby, which felt like lead in his hands as she smiled up at him, weirdly silent considering all the babbling he'd just heard.

“Tera, this is Khan.” Uzi spoke softly to the baby, standing beside her father as he looked like he was about keel over. “He's my dad.”

Tera's smile grew bigger, although she didn't attempt to say his name, perhaps more than a single letter was too much for her. Instead she blew a goofy raspberry, rolling around in his arms for a moment before rolling into him, giving him a hug.

Tears sprung up in his eyes as something in his core snapped, he held her closely, and a sniffle escaped his voice box before he could stop himself.

“Dad?” Uzi sounded slightly worried for him, she'd known he'd might have some kind of reaction to seeing Tera, but this was a little more then she'd expected.

“I-I'm alright! I just-” He blinked away the tears and tried to steel himself, thoughts running a mile a minute. “I see why you warned me. Hah…”

“Yeah… you should have seen V, you could see the exact second her core melted.” Khan only could nod, the droneling now pressed up against him made a chirping noise, happy and content at any love given to her.

“But ah…that's uh, not the only reason I came here, just to… introduce you to a droneling that… that you're not gonna see often. You are gonna see her often, A-at least I hope you do, C-cause she's not just N's… she's-she's mine… too.” She rambled and sputtered as she tried to find the words to say, Khan felt himself smiling as she continued, she was expressing a want to have him around, that he wouldn't be mad. That'd he'd want to be-

“She's your granddaughter… dad.” She finished, looking more stressed then ever, like he could ever possibly tell her that he didn't want to be in her life anymore.

He winced as he remembered all the times he did indirectly. Leaving her alone so he could throw himself into another project, neglecting the one person he still had as family simply because she looked too much like Nori to look in the eye.

And she really looked like her now.

He looked back down at Tera, at his granddaughter, and felt himself begin to tear up again. She was smiling at him, babbling and cooing up at him as he launched forward and hugged his daughter with all his might.

He felt her tense, then, thankfully, she relaxed, mindful of the child as she curled up in his arms much like she did when she was little, and she'd needed comfort from a nightmare. He felt her visor press against his chest, breathing shaky, like she herself was about to cry.

How could he have left her, how? What kind of parent was he that he left his own daughter? What kind of man?

And how could she have ever forgiven him? He knew he could never forgive himself.

“I'm sorry dronelette, I'm so so sorry.” He cracked out, petting her hair, he felt some kind of pressure on his back, her hand most likely, and she almost laughed, though it sounded pained.

“I'm still… so angry at you.” She admitted, slowly, though not pulling away. And he felt more pained steel settle in his core, he deserved this… whatever she needed to say. If she needed curse at him, to hit him even, he'd deserve it, although he hoped she wouldn't in front of Tera.

“But I missed you more.”

And thats all it took for them both to sob like newborns, her face burying into his shoulder as she let years worth of coiled pain escape her, despite all she'd done, how much she'd grown, she was still 18, still much a kid herself.

And they remained like that for some time, at least until Tera got uncomfortable being sandwiched between them and began to fuss, which finally ended the long overdue hug between father and daughter.

“H-here, give her to me.” She stammered out, either slightly embarrassed or still a little emotional, and Khan did as he was told, handing daughter back to mother.

She rocked her until she stopped fussing, and Khan led them both to the couch with his hand, still recovering himself.

She flopped on the couch like she carried the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, Tera held gingerly until she was placed between them do she could freely roll around, which she did happily.

“I'm assuming that means N is my son in law now?” He chuckled out, trying to lighten the somewhat oppressive mood that had settled over them. She blushed heavily, sputtering out a surprised response.

“We're not- he's- uh… He's my… boyfriend now yeah.”

He laughed, even though he saw it coming a mile away, he thought he might be more upset about it then he was, but N had more than proven Uzi was his priority, even over himself at times.

“And you need help moving your stuff out?” He continued, smiling through the small amount of pain the thought caused him, she was growing up, but if that hug had shown him anything, she still needed her dad, and he couldn't ignore that, he wouldn't, not anymore.

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

pre hotel battle and vaggie wants to round out her gf's stat blocks just a LITTLE bit more

Vaggie: “Okay sweetie, big battle for our lives and hotel coming up.”

Charlie: “Which we are going to WIN and NOT DIE in!”

Vaggie: “Right. First battle you’ve ever been in?”

Charlie: “Technically, yes.”

Vaggie: “Still not vibing with an actual weapon?”

Charlie: “They’re all so…. Pointy and mean looking…?”

Vaggie: “So we’re sticking with the shield plan for you.”

Charlie: “I drew up some designs for one! LOOK! WINGS!!!”

Vaggie: “Really, very cute babe, it’ll look great on you. Very cool thing for any murder angels to smack face first into.”

Charlie: “Thank you!”

Vaggie: “But I’ve been thinking… well no, I’ve been having nightmares-”

Charlie: “OH NO!!!”

Vaggie: “-and if you wanna help with that, maybe you could have, like, just one kinda attack thing?”

Charlie: “Oh.”

Vaggie: “One trick up your sleeve, Charlie. That’s all I’m asking.”

Charlie: “I… I guess… if you’re worried, then…”

Charlie: “…I could… try doing the demon thing… a little…?”

Vaggie: “No you hate that.”

Charlie: (HUGE SIGH) “Okay good! WHEW. So what’s the OTHER attack thing idea??”

Vaggie: “You do have a little of the carnival magic stuff, yeah? Like your dad?”

Charlie: “Oh I love that stuff! YES!”

Vaggie: “I was thinking maybe you could do fireworks.”

Charlie: “FUN!”

Vaggie: “And explode people with them.”

Charlie: “HORRIFYING!!!”

Vaggie: “I know. I know but- just a little, sweetie? For me?”

Charlie: “Explode them, Vaggie? Into, pieces!?”

Vaggie: “I’m picturing globs and chunks actually.”

Charlie: “Vaggie!”

Vaggie: “Sorry, look-” (takes gf’s hands)

Vaggie: “This is gonna be a real battle with a lot of stuff happening. Lots of people. Lots of yelling and people running around. We’re probably gonna get separated at some point-”

Charlie: “No. You’re staying right next to me.”

Vaggie: “Charlie I swear I’m gonna try to, but that's not how big mob fights work out.”

Charlie: “We can MAKE it work like that THIS time!”

Vaggie: “Listen. I really, really want to go into this knowing you’ve got something for crowd control, alright? If a dozen angels swoop down on you and I’m not right there, I wanna know you can give yourself enough breathing space to keep that shield between you and them.”

Charlie: “But- you WILL be there-”

Vaggie: “One hit. That’s all it takes. For me and for them both, and you- please.” (squeezes hands) “They want to kill you. And they can. And they’re gonna try to.”

Charlie: “….”

Charlie: “… I don’t want, to hurt people.”

Vaggie: “A shield to the face hurts.”

Charlie: “Okay fine- I don’t want to KILL people! Or even get close!”

Vaggie: “That’s fine, that’s the world we’re aiming for.”

Charlie: “But it’s not good enough right now though, is it.”

Vaggie: “… maybe it is.”

Charlie: “You just said…”

Vaggie: “Fuck what I said, you don’t need to detonate anyone for crowd control. You can do lights, right?”

Charlie: “Yes?”

Vaggie: “Bright and flashy ones?”

Charlie: “Obviously, those are the best kinds-”

Vaggie: “So try flashing people.”

Charlie: “Flashing?? Wh- IN THE MIDDLE OF A BATTLE???”

Vaggie: “-blinding, blinding I meant blind them with flashing lights, get them to back off.”

Charlie: “Oh!”

Vaggie: “That a doable thing?”

Charlie: “Yes VERY doable! Like a really amazing sparkler!”

Vaggie: “And they wouldn’t be dead, they just wouldn’t be able to see enough to attack you.”

Charlie: “It wouldn’t even really HURT THEM even!”

Vaggie: “Sure. Unless they trip or fly into something.”

Charlie: “And you’d feel better???”

Vaggie: “Much, much better.”

Charlie: “Enough to sleep?”

Vaggie: “When you’re not keeping me up half the night with kisses, yeah. I think so.”

Charlie: “I’LL DO IT! I’ll practice weaponizing pretty sparkles!”

Vaggie: “Thanks, babe.”

Charlie: “What battle weapon-y things should I be practicing with them, in practice?”

Vaggie: “Uhhh make it a reflex, fine tune your aim…”

Charlie: “Fun!”

Vaggie: “Figuring out how to not blind everyone else too would be good.”

Charlie: “That’s a good point, hmm-”

Charlie: “-Ohhhhh I could make the lights SMALL. Very small, so they don’t do much on their own- then only someone who’s super close and I’m aiming for and who gets a face FULL of them would really be blinded!”

Vaggie: “You’re so smart.”  

Charlie: “OH MY GOSH I COULD THROW GLITTER BOMBS!”

Vaggie: “That honestly sounds terrifying. I love it.”

Charlie: “HEHEHHEHEH.”

Charlie: (smooches her)

Charlie: “We’ll stay together in the fight so you can have front row seats to the light show, okay?”

Vaggie: "... we can try to..."

Charlie: "Will. We will stay together."

Vaggie: “… and, you’ll practice hard until then.”

Charlie: “I will!”

Vaggie: (lets out breath) “Then we’ll be okay. And also sparkly.”

Charlie: “Same thing~”

[problemstarchild]

I don't go here (college AUs) but please, for your consideration for Laios/Kabru AUs.

Laios is a returning education veteran and Kabru's in a bunch of the same Gen Ed classes as him. He's trying to figure out this guy's deal and going wild coming up with what kind of guy he is, but he overhears (eavesdrops on) Laios after class telling a friend he's probably going to have to drop out again because he can't keep up with his work and is having a hard time juggling his job and school. Kabru gets WEIRDLY invested in trying to help connect Laios with his benefits (because if he fails his classes he won't have an excuse to observe him up close anymore), also helping him go through the school to set up a learning plan to help him finish his work. Kabru is VERY cagey about why he knows how to do all of this stuff. (Autism to autism radar, PTSD to PTSD radar.) BONUS: Study buddies and Laios stays over, Laios is really neat from his time in the army and cleans up Kabru's fucked up and evil apartment which is so nasty because he's never washed a dish or a clothes in his life.

Kabru has to take another lab science credit as part of his Gen Ed courses and decides to pick Environmental Science, with Senshi as his professor. Laios is working with him as a fresh TA and he's just SO fucked up and weird about science. He's supposed to be studying pond water bacteria under a microscope but instead he's just studying this giant slab of beef who keeps bringing venomous snakes to class and talking about their importance to the ecosystem.

[SILLY] Laios is taking some art courses for fun along with the things he needs for his degree, he's pretty good, but he really only draws animals and sometimes landscapes. One class is figure drawings and Kabru is the model. Kabru's being very professional about it even though he definitely Looked once or twice. They have to show their work at the end of class and Kabru lingers behind a little in a robe to look at the art (and also because he definitely wanted Laios' number) but unfortunately for him. Laios' drawings. Are sooooooo bad. And Kabru tries to be so polite about it after class but also what the fuckkkkkk.

[SILLY] Laios isn't even in college in this one. Marcille is a TA for one of Kabru's afternoon classes. They're not close, but they watch some of the same soap operas and take the same bus to the same stop after class where Falin picks Marcille up and Kabru walks the rest of the way to his apartment, so they've taken to sitting together when possible to avoid Bus Strangers and chatting politely about whatever's new on the Daltian Clan this week. Except the one day Laios pulls up instead of Falin because she's busy taking care of a cat she found on the street or something and Kabru is basically like AWOOOOOOGA and is Not As Subtle As He Thinks He Is about asking Marcille casually about him going forward until she sets them up on an unwitting double date.

Kabru got accepted to this school on a fencing scholarship and fantastic grades. Laios is trying out for the fencing team because it's the closest thing he can legally do to being a guy with a cool sword. Rivalry? Shenanigans?

[yournightmary]

Loser!Ellie HCs

content warning:: fem!reader, modern!AU

AN:: first time writing, literally scared shitless🔥 english isn’t my native language🙏

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who made a pasta recipe once (probably from instagram reels), and became a self-appointed master chef. Forgot about the fact that it took her 3 tries to even cook the pasta.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who can’t stop saying flavor instead of scent. She just genuinely doesn’t see the difference.

“What flavor do you want?” she asks you while holding up two colorful packs of wax melts. She bought a wax burner and used it to melt chocolate so she can have chocolate covered fruit anytime she wants. Used it 2 times total.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who vapes. I’m sorry but that’s the truth. She just loves to puff on her cute little mixed berries disposable. Also, keeps saying she can quit anytime she wants, she can’t.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who uses axe body spray. If someone asks about it she just says it works better, but she actually likes the scent. Kind of her guilty pleasure.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who hated on the sims franchise her whole life only to find out you’re a fan. She pirated the whole series (DLCs and all) off of some russian website in one night. Got like 20 different viruses but at least her girl could play the sims 2 happily.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is terrible at foreign languages yet has a duolingo streak that over 500 days. She knows how to say ‘the apple is red’ in german and can barely pronounce her order in mexican restaurants.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is chronically online. Constantly posting shit to her insta stories, sending you tik toks 24/7 and all that stuff. One time she got so invested in a facebook group drama that she didn’t reply to your texts for the whole day.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who wears the most unfunny-funny shirts you can imagine. Stuff like ‘women want me, fish fear me’ and ‘eat, sleep, game, repeat’. And they’re always either way too big or way too small.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who always said she doesn’t want any pets, that it’s too much of a commitment for her… Then she found the ugliest kitten she’s ever seen on the street and took it home without thinking. Let you choose the name but calls him ‘stinky’ no matter what. Like mother, like daughter.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who couldn’t tie her shoes until she was 15. That’s it.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is so lovestruck for you that I can’t even explain it. She’ll always do the cheesiest things possible, like standing before your house with roses, a bluetooth speaker and a promposal poster or bringing you every little thing she found on her walk that ‘reminded her of you’.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who doesn’t like to go out on dates. She’d rather stay at home with you, watch a movie, make dinner together (you’ll be the only one actually cooking), maybe paint something or just spend time together doing nothing… Would really enjoy a date at the planetarium though.

⇢ ˗ˏˋ loser!Ellie who is a total yapper. Can and will talk about anything and everything for hours on end. And if you mention an interest of hers? Oh god, get ready to see a powerpoint presentation about it. Literally the definition of ‘☝️🤓’ but in a good way.

I’m so scared to post this it’s not even funny☠️ Hope you liked it <3

[scenetocause]

hello! here to ask for max f & lando -💜 impulsive kiss, please (if that takes your fancy) :)

sorry this took me ages! i was laid low with perversions.

It's not like it used to be, when they did bits all the time. It was easy, when they were karting and then a bit more complicated when they were in completely fucking different series, a bit easier again when Max got to F3. Much easier when he dropped out and moved in.

But now they both have other people they're supposed to be copping off with and when they get time together there's so much hanging out they have to get done, on a tight schedule now, that it doesn't really come up. When you've only got 36 hours to fit in three months of best friend time then dick touching can get shoved down the agenda a bit in favour of worrying about their proper relationships and gossiping about what Tom's been up to now and did you know Ria's got a boyfriend now, mate? Bloke's fucking massive, thought a mountain had walked into the office.

He knows how Max crumples his face up in concentration when he's about to come, like he has to focus on the goal. That he really likes having his arse played with but he's touchy about it sometimes, still, gets all tense and bent up about it if Lando tries anything stupid, won't let him at all if he makes any jokes. Doesn't mind putting Lando's cock in his mouth, usually but Max'd rather lie back a lot of the time, make Lando do all the work. Likes to be held, after, fall asleep together for a bit even if it's 11am and Jon's due in half an hour.

So, yeah, it's not like they're not doing it. They could do it. It's just that they mostly haven't been, for a bit. Which makes it weird, when he wins and Max isn't there because there's fucking nothing more Lando wants to do, suddenly, than wank each other off in his hotel room so they're both all glazed before they even get to the club.

Snogging Oscar, later, is interesting - he's a bit of a perv, that Piastri. Sticks his hand down the back of Lando's suit trousers and presses a sweaty fingertip to his arsehole, like Oscar's just checking it's there or something. Reminding himself Lando's fuckable, who knows. It's not the same, though, so Lando ends up trying to jack it in bed with one foot on the floor to stop the room spinning and passing out before he makes himself come.

Then it's ages, isn't it because Max doesn't come to Monaco, either. Because he's making a home with his girlfriend and that's fine, good even, they'll probably be having kids sooner or later won't they and doesn't that make Lando feel something like vertigo. F1 race winner, dad - they're not supposed to be doing them as separate routes. They could've been both, together.

But then there's the football, yeah. And Max texts him some shit like looking pretty decent there Bob almost had me convinced you know ball and Lando's trying not to blush at his phone like an idiot or anything because sometimes, you know. It's nice, still. That Max likes him.

Obviously they have to run into fucking Oleksandr Usyk and it's a bit weird, innit, that he recognises Lando first and then Max is all in awe and trying to tell Lando who the bloke is which, right, he doesn't really care all that much.

"You'd think his face'd get more fucked up, doing all that stuff. You're looking like you've gone more rounds than him, mate-"

"Shut up." It's alright, Max taking the piss out of him. Makes him feel less self-conscious about it, really.

"Make me, then." And Max throws his fists up into some poor imitation of a boxing stance, so Lando's pretty sure he meant something else but also he's laughing and knocking his shoulder into Lando's and his mouth is pink and warm and the most familiar of any Lando's ever touched his own to.

It's not a long kiss, they're standing on a London street, in broad daylight, it'd be stupid to get all hot and heavy with it. Jesus, what if P catches them? Just their fucking luck she'd be popping out for milk or something.

But it's enough. Lando's hands closing around Max's fists to draw him close, quickly. Just a taste of each other's tongues, musky with coffee and matcha. A reminder of how they are when they're like this.

(Perfect. Lando's confident they'll sort it all out one day, just need to get the other stuff out of their systems first but they'll never stop coming back to this.)

"Didn't know boxing got you all hot and bothered, Bob." Max shoves him away a bit, only to pull them back together. It's the same way they always are.

"Nah," he feels honest, free with it, like the relief across the finish line. "Only you."

[changingplumbob]

Shay McClain - Hopeful Bachelorette

Entry for Mad About Dodo by @akitasimblr

Tell us a bit about yourself. What do you do to keep busy? How would your friends describe you?

Okay, well, hi, I'm Shay. I never really fit in at school so after graduation while all my classmates headed to university I wanted something different. I've always liked making stuff so I was looking at getting into carpentry and then one of my dads had the best idea. They both know I love adventure and exploring so they suggested I travel and volunteer with organizations like Habitat for Humanity. I do a bit of carpentry when I'm home to keep the funds up. But yeah I travel the world getting to see cool places, surfing and mountain climbing, and putting my hands to good use making homes for people. Most of my friends are people I've met through that and they'd probably say I'm confident, my dads would probably say over confident, have a passion for making things, especially out of junk but in my defense people throw a lot away too quickly, and... just... a lust for life. But have you looked around? There's beauty in everything.

And why have you applied for Mad About Dodo?

My dad's are worried I'll die alone so have been trying to sort out a way for me to meet people, of course they can't exactly organize a blind date for me when we're in different continents. Don't get me wrong, I would like love in my life, it's kind of the piece that's missing you know. Anyway they sent me the entry details and I have to admit, Dodo is cute. Not that I would just apply because of an attractive person but I was reading about how he's tried other challenges before and I admire his perseverance to keep trying. That's what we have to do at the job sites. So if he's looking for someone to sweep him off his feet I'll do my best.

What do you think of your outfits?

I'm happy they're not just draping us in leaves and calling it a day. I think we've managed to pull together some stuff that'll fit in on an island. But why did we do a cold weather outfit? Aren't islands warm?

How do you see yourself getting on with other competitors?

I've honestly no idea. But I can tell you right now they better keep their pranks away from me. Seriously, a joke that's made at the expense of someone else isn't a joke. Learn how to be funny without punching down.

If you're the kind of person that can spot the good things in life I think we'll get on. I do hate small talk though, let's get to the good juicy stuff! Life's too short to be commenting on the weather constantly.

Tell us about some of your likes and dislikes

Well like I said I really like making stuff. I enjoy fabricating but my favourite is when I can carve stuff like sculptures or furniture. I'm also big into fitness, I like to keep myself in shape. I like yoga to even if I can't balance right half the time.

Dislikes... juice fizzing. I'm not going to go into detail but I had a bad experience. Mischief obviously, I'll crack jokes anytime you like but don't expect me to tie you to a voodoo doll. Programming is also something I just find boring as well as research, so it really is best that I didn't go to university.

What are you looking forward to?

Getting to know Dodo. Hopefully he can be more than a friend. I'm also looking forward to testing out my survival skills. I think they're pretty good with the work I've done but you never know until you're in the situation I guess. But yeah, mainly getting to see if this guy is the one for me, if I can be the one for him.

What are you dreading?

Sunburn! And walking around not realizing I've been pooped on by a bird.

I know most people would probably say lack of bedding and plumbing but I've gone without them before, I can handle going without them again.

Do you have a message for Dodo?

Hey Dodo, if you want someone who can work wonders with their hands I'm here *laughs* No, I'm kidding, please don't tell him I said that. Umm... Hi Dodo, I'm looking forward to building this next part of my life with you in it. See you on the island!

Download SFS

[swaps55]

Okay so I usually don't really care for OCs in a story, but the Yang's crew has stolen my heart completely ngl. So I was wondering, what would Pendergrass, Aslany and Beaudoin think about the ME1 Normandy's crew? How would they get along with them?

I've been sitting on this question so I could give it the attention it deserves, because it's a really fun thought exercise.

[And now that I've written this out, I really wish I could put them on the SR-1 and explore it further, so thank you again for an amazing question.]

Beaudoin: By nature, he gets along with everyone, but I think if you were to put him on the SR-1 or mix him with that crew, he'd feel really out of his element. He's never seen himself as anything other than Just A Guy. The superhero stuff is for other people. Courage, bravery, heroism, and The Cause isn't his thing, not because he doesn't care, but because he lacks the drive and initiative people like Sam, Kaidan, and Aslany do. (Pendergrass doesn't have initiative so much as insatiable curiosity and an unsettling lack of concern for safety).

So when it comes to the SR-1 crew, he'd probably feel even more of what he did on the 'Yang with Sam - that he's not good enough to work with these people. But he's very good at hiding his insecurities, so you probably wouldn't see it unless you knew what to look for.

He'd probably avoid Wrex. Dealing with Wrex is outside his paygrade. Garrus' loose cannon tendencies would worry him a lot, and he'd nag Sam to watch that guy because he was bound to get himself and everyone else in trouble. I wrote a scene in my ME1-fic, Exordium, in which Shepard (not Sam) notices Ashley get weird during a card game, finds her in the cargo bay, and then discovers she was playing poker with her unit when the geth attacked. Beaudoin would be the guy who sought her out if he were there, and he'd give her someone to talk to or confide in about Eden Prime, pep talk her about her family legacy, and have a smile when she needed it.

He'd find Tali delightful and charm the pants off her. He'd make sure she had something decent to eat, and when he figures out she's lonely away from home, guess who becomes a Fleet and Flotilla fan and sucks Ashley into it. The three of them hold watch parties, and suck in everyone they can. Aslany has to be dragged kicking and screaming, but she does it for Clay even though she scowls the whole time. He'd be equal parts fascinated and amused by Liara's blend of competence and naivete. He'd be the one to shake Sam by the shoulders and say, "to you Benezia was a monster to put down, but to Liara it was her mom."

Joker and Ashley would severely test his, "you don't fuck crew," motto, but he'd resist. Virmire would put a rift between him and Sam, while also putting himself in a guilt spiral, because the other choice would have been to leave Kaidan behind, and he wouldn't have been able to live with that, either. Virmire, more than anything, would teach Beaudoin things about what Sam does that he never truly grasped on the 'Yang, and reinforce that he wants no part of that. I think he gets out of the Alliance after Virmire.

Pendergrass: We saw in Fugue that Pendergrass developed some pretty intense jealousy over the SR-1 crew, fearing that Kaidan and Sam had replaced her with something better. And I think if she were on the SR-1, she'd get off on the wrong foot with Tali specifically. But they're both huge tech nerds, and Tali is Tali and Kara is Kara, so that would pass quickly. It wouldn't be long before they'd be attached at the hip, and and when one of them said, "I have an idea," the whole ship would nervously hold their breath.

She wouldn't get Liara at all, and probably ask a lot of really inappropriate questions about asari sexuality, requiring Beaudoin to intervene and explain to Liara, "Sorry, she's just Like That, she doesn't mean anything by it.' She would have no fear of Wrex, thanks to Sam's reverent krogan talk over the years. Wrex would find her excessively irritating at first, but would find a deep appreciation for her after watching her work in the field. She's a different kind of warrior with different weapons than he's used to, but a warrior all the same. If you can imagine anyone lounging in Wrex's lap to watch a movie, please imagine Kara.

She might bounce off Ashley a little for similar reasons to her initial clash with Tali, but my guess is they don't make up the ground the way Kara and Tali do. ME1 Garrus is probably a little too intense and focused for her, but she'd get along famously with ME3 Garrus. She'd think he was funny, and take his side over Vega's when they play one-up with each other.

Aslany: She would predispose herself to hating everyone. This is her family, her squad, and fuck you. You aren't part of it. Opening up her small circle of people she loves so fiercely would be extremely difficult for her. None of them are good enough to protect her people. Kara becoming close with Tali and Beaudoin becoming close with Ashley would make her crazy. She'd need a lot of reassurance, and Kaidan is probably who she'd go to for it. Ironically, she'd find Wrex the least threatening and warm up to him first. He'd be skeptical of the fragile human who wants to spar, but ultimately sing her praises, and Sam would be insanely proud of this.

She might grudgingly start to tolerate Ashley, but by that time it'll be too late. She probably becomes more neutral towards Liara, but the swiftness with which Liara becomes close to Sam would irk her a lot. Garrus would also piss her off - who the fuck does this guy think he is, I'm the sniper in this family - but after the events of ME2 she would respect him for sticking with Sam when the rest of them didn't, and see him a lot differently.

[cattimeswithjellie]

Stream Recap, ImpulseSV, 6/12/24

((If you caught the excerpt from this I posted last night, you may be ready for the wildness that is this stream recap. I started out expecting a build stream and wound up recapping a Hermit social gathering for two hours, lol. It's all right though, because it was very, very funny.))

2:55 Impulse opens the stream on studio view. He asks if his streaming setup still works and jokes he needs to get the dust off it. He shares that he has been gone because he’s been sick, and decides he should probably just start tacking a few extra sick days onto the end of each vacation because it happens every time. (Except in Michigan, Chat points out.) Chat tells him his voice sounds better now than in the video. He says he’ll see how he feels as the stream goes on. He talks a little about PixelPulse Valley, how he named it because he likes being in the valley in Phoenix and likes valleys in general. Chat makes a joke about valley girls. Impulse has been sick almost a whole week and it is gross, especially since he’s had to travel.

6:00 Impulse shouts out to Noah in chat, who is someone he met in person on the cruise ship. Apparently there were several Impulse-in-the-wild spottings on this trip. He thanks subs and donos. He reminds chat that a Big Video came out today, one that he’s been waiting to show for awhile. He finally gets to tell the story of PixelPulse Valley and its battle with the AIs, and the basics of what the game is going to be like. Impulse doesn’t want to go too deep here because he doesn’t want to spoil the video, but he will be working on some stuff in the city. He suggests that maybe chatters might want to catch at least part of the video before joining the stream. Today he’ll be working on the secret tunnel and hopes for a normal-length stream. Chat sings the SECRET TUNNEL song.

9:50 Chat is worried about Impulse staying hydrated. He assures Chat he has been triple-fisting coffee, juice and water. Chat is unsure about the phrasing but happy that Impulse is getting enough to drink. It is impossible to bother Skizz during stream today because Skizz is at work, and when he gets home from work they are going to record the podcast.

11:00 Impulse shows off his new redstone door. He apologizes to RKF Walter, whose name he messed up while crediting him for the door design. It is a beautiful door design and opens to an exploding flight rocket. He drops down the escape hole and shows Chat the Secret Tunnel. He says he’s gotten lots of good suggestions in the video comments already for different ambiance touches. He is not sure yet what he’s going to change, if anything. He shows off how covering a pearlescent froglight with a trapdoor turns the light pure white.

14:10 Impulse highlights the wall lights. He is happy because there are not many chances for subtle design touches that are only a few pixels tall in Minecraft. He contemplates how he’s going to mute when he inevitably starts coughing. He reveals that his favorite DCI team is Impulse, of course. It’s where all his branding came from! (Blue Devils is also good). DCI is Drum Corps International, professional marching band with no woodwinds. He toured the country for a whole summer with the Impulse team back in the day. Chat is excited about this Impulse Lore. Impulse’s girlfriend back in the day (not his wife now) was a clarinet player, but she played cymbals on the drumline.

18:00 Impulse notices that all the trapdoors have completely oxidized and wonders who has been keeping it loaded. Probably Joel, he concludes as he cleans and waxes them. Chat suggests it might also be people coming by to use the XP bank. Impulse agrees that the XP bank is popular, way more popular than he and Skizz anticipated. He may have to put in some more at other Hermits’ bases, just to lighten the load on Bop n’ Go. Chat suggests putting XP banks inside the volcano once it is hollowed out. He likes that plan.

21:00 Chat asks if Impulse saw Tango’s video that had the naturally volcano-shaped Magic Mountain clone. Impulse didn’t see it. Chat asks what he plans to do about the slime chunk in the tunnel. Impulse does not know. He doesn’t want to put carpet in. He’s not too worried because big slimes are unlikely to spawn, and he doesn’t want to slab it and change the tunnel shape. He’ll wait and see how bad it is. He decides to start the next segment of tunnel with the bottom wall edges and gathers his supplies.

23:40 It was easier to record video sick than to stream sick, because he could gather energy for short bursts of talking. Chat asks for advice on visiting DCI events. Impulse says check out the vendors to find cool music supplies, and also bring lots of sunscreen. He does not have enough cyan terracotta. He considers whether anyone sells terracotta, then remembers he’s not buying from Big T. He begins laying out his pattern. Ren messages in chat that he needs Impulse’s brain. Impulse doesn’t promise his brain is working, but goes to find Ren at his base. As he flies, Impulse talks about playing Wordle at Pearl’s yesterday and how he struggled because his brain was foggy. He likes Wordle but he did not do well. ((It did take Impulse more than 20 minutes to solve the puzzle at Dyeductions on Pearl’s 6/11 stream, compared to 10 minutes for Skizz.))

26:30 He touches down at Ren’s base and asks where Ren is, Ren tells him he must come into the truck. Impulse asks if he should be recording. Ren says he can if he wants, and he probably should too. They both reveal that they are streaming. Impulse tries to find his way into the truck with little success. Ren directs him to the door on top and describes the lever. Impulse finds the lever but it doesn’t work. They are having some audio issues due to Ren’s setup. Impulse plasters himself against the front windshield and breaks into the truck, to Ren’s great consternation. Impulse replaces the broken glass and assures Ren he is a certified repair technician. Ren accepts this and moves on.

29:00 Ren tells Impulse he needs his brain, then uses the classic girlfriend tactic of telling Impulse he’s been waiting for him to notice something. Impulse is immediately on the back foot and tries to fall back on the defense of having been gone. He guesses that Ren has a new outfit, which is true. Ren demands that Impulse look at him. Ren has a new skin on, including a spacesuit and a face that Chat thinks is very similar to Beef’s (which is true.) He has a beard and everything. Impulse says the outfit reminds him of Terra Swoop Force at MCC. Ren admits that is true. He says his chat thinks the glasses are too much. Impulse’s Chat thinks they’re great. Impulse and Ren both take off their glasses. Impulse has no eyebrows without the glasses. He says he plucks his eyebrows when he gets nervous and it’s been a rough week. Ren puts the glasses and beard back on, and shows off the handsome touches of gray in his hair. They talk about getting IRL haircuts. Ren is going back to facecam streaming and told his barber he needed a good haircut for an important meeting. He wanted a side shave, but his barber told him his head is too large for a side shave. Impulse thinks Ren has a nice head and hopes the barber didn’t hurt his feelings. Ren says the barber did a good job. Big-headed folk in chat commiserate with Ren.

33:30 Ren says he listens to the advice of professionals about how he looks, because he has no understanding of fashion or how he is supposed to look. Impulse admits he hasn’t got Ren’s stream up and can’t see how he looks, Ren admits that he hasn’t dared to turn the facecam on yet. Ren compliments how nice Impulse looks every time he streams and thinks it must take him a long time to get ready, but Impulse denies that. He does his hair once a week, puts glue in it, and is careful about how he sleeps. His wife is the closest thing to a stylist he has. She cut his hair for him for a long time. Ren talks about the value in learning a single hairstyle by muscle memory and doing it exactly the same everyday forever. Impulse agrees and tells a story about his vacation, where he couldn’t take his regular hair product. His hair was a mess his whole trip. Ren is very sympathetic. Chat thinks Impulse has bougie hair.

37:30 Ren is jealous because Impulse has a nicely-shaped head and can shave his hair off. Ren’s head is weird-shaped at the back and he has a mole, so he would look terrible if he shaved his head. He asks Impulse if he’d ever wear a toupee if he started going bald. Impulse says his dad is 70 and has a full head of hair, but he doesn’t think he’d be a combover guy. He’d probably do some kind of filler. Hopefully by that time there will be a pill or cream to grow hair. Chat is telling Impulse that the baldness gene comes down on the maternal side. Impulse reassures them that his mom also has hair. Ren says his mom is a Yeti, with very thick hair. Chat reminds Impulse that Rogaine is a thing. Ren shows off his boots, Impulse is impressed. He tells Ren that his Lore dropped today, and that it’s going to tickle Ren in all the right places. Ren is eager to see it. Impulse did make a mistake by tackling the biggest, hardest game first, and it is taking forever. Ren thinks maybe that was the right way to go, since it will regulate the size and speed of the other games.

41:00 Ren suddenly detects an INTRUDER at the truck. He shows Impulse where the actual door is and shoots a rocket at Pearl, who is standing just outside. She makes an indignant noise. Ren tells her that the oxygen out there is poisonous and full of spores, so she jumps down inside and asks Ren if he stream sniped her. Impulse also wants to know how Ren spotted Pearl. Ren says he saw the nametag through the ceiling. Pearl immediately compliments Ren on his new look. Impulse is chagrined at her superior powers of perception. He says this happens in real life with his wife too. Ren sits in the cockpit with Pearl and tells Pearl the whole embarrassing story of Impulse’s visit.

43:00 Pearl points out that she is good at seeing details, that she noticed right away that Iskall had a haircut earlier in the season. “Iskall had a haircut?” Ren asks. Pearl describes Iskall’s haircut test. Ren says there’s something different about Pearl too. Impulse says she looks older. They sing Happy Birthday to her while chasing her through the truck while she flees. She is embarrassed but thanks them. She asks Impulse for a thing. He doesn’t understand for a minute, but Chat does and helps out. Impulse provides the Birthday You-Yo. Chat celebrates. Pearl tells him he sounds better today than he did yesterday. They talk about getting sick on vacation and at cons. Pearl digs around in Ren’s shulker boxes. Ren objects, not very strenuously, and she tells him it’s her job. They point out it’s not the job of the postmaster to clean up messes, and the Cleaning Lady was Season 9. Apparently once a Cleaning Lady, always a Cleaning Lady.

46:00 Impulse asks if they have the shulker mod that shows what’s in the boxes. They do not. Impulse explains his retexture woes anyway. Someone drops a cake into the truck through the door for Pearl. Pearl suspects it was False. She sets down the cake just in time for Invisible False to pearl into the truck. Impulse and False give Pearl birthday punches, or False does while Impulse fails to punch. He blames his short arms. Ren comes back and puts a single candle on the cake and they all wish Pearl a happy first birthday. She says she doesn’t feel so old now. Pearl is not hungry enough to eat, so Ren and False give her more birthday punches. Birthday punches are not very effective when someone is wearing netherite armor. “Punch harder!” Pearl yells as she removes her netherite. Ren “punches” her with an axe. “Not that hard, not that hard!” she corrects, running away. She makes a wish and knocks the candle off the cake, then eats a bit. Ren asks what she wished, but she won’t tell or it won’t come true. He realizes that’s been his mistake all along.

49:00 Pearl eats most of the cake, then offers her friends a slice. Ren sets himself on fire to be hungry enough to eat. This alarms his friends. He finishes off the cake. They discuss the awkward IRL situation of one slice of cake left on the plate. None of them will eat it unless no one is watching and the party is nearly over. Ren asks if Pearl’s had a good birthday so far, but she points out that it is 2:48 in the morning, Pearl time, so there has not been much birthday yet. Ren asks if she has had cake anyway. Pearl says she doesn’t have a cake yet. She asks if they know that heated mousepads exist. False wants one immediately, Impulse wants the exact opposite of that. He tells them that the high in Phoenix today is 43 degrees Celsius (109 F). Nobody likes that. Chat is horrified. Pearl says no wonder he got sick, with that temperature change. Apparently it was 6 degrees in Alaska. (43 F) False said it was 15 (59 F) today in the UK. Ren has been keeping his eye on the prize and is still upset that Pearl doesn’t have IRL cake. Pearl promises that she’s going to have dinner with her family and she’ll get cake then, and she also had a strawberry doughnut.

54:10 There have been lots of Hermit birthdays recently. False and Gem both had birthdays recently, and someone else that they can’t remember. Chat knows it was Skizz. Pearl remembers Skizz, and Cleo as well. Ren thinks next year they need a birthday hall for the month of June. Pearl and False think about horoscope-themed buildings, with a really big one for Gemini. Ren thinks there’s another big batch in October, but it’s really just him. Chat points out that Geminis are born entertainers. Ren claims Bdubs as an October birthday. He reminisces about turning False’s base into a cake way, way back in Season 4. Pearl points out that as of today, the minimum Hermit age is 28. They are all getting old. Ren says they need a special celebration for when the minimum age hits 30. Impulse agrees and says they can hand out walkers to everyone. Ren suggests ear trumpets as well, while False suggests giant keyboards.

59:00 Impulse doesn’t realize how they got back to this topic when he and Ren were just talking earlier about losing their hair. False said she was listening, and educates Impulse on the existence of little tubs one can put one’s hair gel into for traveling. It takes Impulse a minute, but he figures out what she’s talking about. He says that’s a lot of work. False tells Pearl she’s a bit concerned for these guys. Pearl agrees and says they need Bdubs the hairdresser. False tries to sell them on the beneifts of long hair, but Pearl reminds her that it took her an entire day to find a bottle of hairspray in Michigan. Impulse fondly remembers the days when he used to shave his head so he wouldn’t have to do anything with it. He reiterates his story about only styling his hair once a week and using glue. False and Pearl are disgusted. He admits that is a slight exaggeration. Pearl suggests Impulse has a Lego haircut. Ren thinks Impulse just sleeps in the chair in his office and has his wife wake him up to stream. Pearl says this is why not having a facecam is the best option. Ren seems like he might be reconsidering his decision to facecam.

1:02:20 False starts teasing Ren about not uploading his VODs. Ren protests that he managed to upload a VOD just today. Impulse brags that it’s easy when you have two copies of OBS. The others are skeptical of this solution. False says no wonder it’s 40 degrees there, Impulse’s computer is on fire. Ren admires the teleprompter setup in Impulse’s office. Impulse says he likes it because staring at Chat makes them uncomfortable. Chat agrees. False stares deep into Chat’s eyes on all three streamers’ channels. They talk a little more about streaming setups. Ren declares Impulse the “smorterest” of the streamers. Impulse admits he needs to run an entire tech checklist to go live.

1:05:30 With all other conversational topics exhausted, the group decides to talk about food. Pearl is baffled that Impulse and Ren don’t like jam doughnuts. Ren clarifies that he doesn’t dislike jam doughnuts. Impulse says he doesn’t like being surprised by, like, banana doughnuts. Ren agrees and adds lime as a possibility. Pearl is horrified and says they need better doughnuts. Ren really wants to try an American Cinnabon. False tries to tell him they have Cinnabon in the UK. “Not like that,” Ren tells her. Pearl asks if any of them tried the salt doughnuts in Michigan. False and Impulse say no, Pearl says it was “really interesting” and “oddly enjoyable.” She recommends them, especially with the chicken salt she brought along. Ren is confused at “chicken salt on a doughnut.” Chat is confused by “chicken salt.” False says she’s going to salt a doughnut and complain to Pearl when it tastes bad. Pearl sputters for a minute, then demands to know whether any of them thought she was actually serious about salt doughnuts. Ren says she’s Australian, and Australians eat weird stuff. It seemed plausible. Pearl tells them she’s just Mission Possible’d all of them, that her mission was to convince them all that she’d already told them a story about something and that they’d just forgotten. Ren congratulates her, Impulse feels violated. Ren and chat are still hung up on the chicken salt thing. Pearl wonders suddenly if maybe she did it wrong, because she actually convinced them they were there for the story happening, not that they’d heard it before. They agree it counts.

1:11:00 False is a little sad that she can’t have a salted doughnut. Pearl demands to know how they can hate Vegemite and want salted doughnuts. False says Vegemite is too fishy. Pearl is mortally insulted. Impulse confirms it was Marmite and not Vegemite on the wings in Michigan. Vegemite and Marmite are similar but not the same. Ren asks if he really has to go all the way to Australia to taste Vegemite. Pearl slaps him and tells him if he actually comes to an event, she will bring him Vegemite. Impulse shills TwitchCon San Diego but Ren demurs, saying he can’t afford it. San Diego is very expensive. Pearl understands, she spent 5 grand for 5 days in Michigan. False says she might be out too, then. Impulse invites them all to stay with him and they’ll make the six hour drive each day to the con. Ren asks how much it costs to get one of those Scarbots to roll around the convention. Pearl says that if any of them want to come to Australia, they can stay at her place. Ren has family in Australia. They discuss Vegemite some more. Impulse didn’t like it on first bite, but sort of got the idea of why people might like it after a few bites. More Vegemite talk. Impulse sidebars to chat that he has no idea what he is doing, and that he has a tunnel to build. Chat assures him that they are happy and he should stay.

1:18:00 Ren mentions black pudding. Impulse asks the group what’s the weirdest thing they’ve ever eaten. Pearl says cow’s tongue. Impulse says he once went to a fancy restaurant in French Polynesia and didn’t know what he was eating. Later he looked it up and saw it was duck liver. It was really good. False admits she doesn’t know if she has a good answer for this question. Vegemite, she decides. Pearl smacks her. Ren says he likes everything he’s eaten except oysters, but the weirdest thing he’s eaten was a Mopane Worm in South Africa, a big caterpillar that gets deep fried. Pearl asks if they tasted like chicken, he says they taste like peanuts with an earthy aftertaste that is not nice. Impulse pushes False for a better answer; she says she almost ate crocodile once but the kitchen was closed. She says she once ate a weird fruit with a bad smell, she thinks it was durian. But also Vegemite. Pearl smacks her again. Chat is vouching for durian: smells bad, tastes great. Impulse says escargot is pretty good, mushroomy. Ren says escargot also has an earthy aftertaste, and the others begin teasing him about why everything tastes like dirt to him. Ren asks if none of them ate dirt as children. Pearl says she once ate a daisy. She decides to change her answer for “weirdest thing you’ve ever eaten.”

1:22:45 Pearl decides to get her Mission Possible book to make sure everyone agrees she succeeded the task. She blasts out the roof of the truck. Impulse decides to investigate the door to try and figure out why the lever didn’t work for him when he tried it. He clicks the lever and the door opens. He hits it again and the door closes, just in time for Ren to smash his head into it and visually clip through the roof. Chat is deeply amused. False and Ren are impressed on the timing of that. False realizes that if someone clicks the lever from inside, the lever outside doesn’t work. Ren is ashamed of his terrible redstone, but False says it’s good to have a door lock he can activate from inside. Impulse is just happy to know that he wasn’t the crazy one, even if he was the one who broke in through the windshield. He and False examine the decorations of the roof. Impulse is disappointed to know that they are still polluting the planet in the futuristic future.

1:25:00 Pearl returns and reads her task to the group. They agree that she completed the task in a way that is even better than was asked for, since she convinced Impulse that he was actually present for the story that never happened. They all fly to MP HQ to watch Pearl spin. False tells them that Skizz broke the machine when he spun, so she didn’t get anything on her spin. But it’s fixed now. Pearl collects her token and spins the wheel. She gets the Sword, which is a hat that looks like she’s got a diamond sword stuck in her head. The others pretend to pull it out. Impulse makes a Sword in the Stone joke. Ren says that Pearl’s brain is too dense to get the sword out. Pearl smacks him, but Impulse tries to convince her it’s a compliment. She is skeptical, but Ren is all in.

1:28:40 Grian logs in, tells everyone in chat “Just so you know, I’m off to play badminton,” then logs out. They decide that this is a clear case of FOMO. Impulse asks if that’s the game with the birdie. False scoffs and corrects “Shuttlecock.” Pearl confirms he’s thinking of the right game. They talk about Badminton for a few minutes. Impulse says that badminton is not really a thing in America; they play pickleball instead. Everyone is baffled. He tries to explain it. Pearl asks if it’s the game with the long stick and a tiny racket on the end ((possibly lacrosse?)) Impulse says no, but that’s it’s very popular. Ren says it’s a ridiculous name and needs to be changed. Impulse demands to know how they can call something a shuttlecock and think they have the high ground for naming anything. Ren says it’s just mini tennis. He has an idea. Hermitcraft table tennis Olympics, five day round-robin event. They’d sell out a stadium. False and Pearl are deeply skeptical. Impulse thinks they should play basketball. Doc and Mumbo against each other, Impulse vs. Bdubs, etc. Pearl says she wants to play against Skizz. Impulse is very into this idea now. Ren asks diffidently what the rules are. Impulse assures him it’s just regular street ball. Ren has never played basketball. He played NBA Jam on Sega. He asks if he’s allowed to SuperDunk. False and Pearl discuss Dodgeball. Ren wants to play Pool, so nobody gets hot and sweaty. False suggests Bowls. Ren and Pearl are very enthusiastic about the idea. Impulse is baffled. “Are you saying balls?” he asks. “BOWLS,” Ren corrects hastily. Chat is amused. Ren tells False she can never call him inappropriate again. She slaps him a couple times and calls him the guy who’s never played basketball instead.

1:35:40 Ren explains bowls to Impulse, taking exquisite care to pronounce “BOWLS” each time. Chat tells Impulse it’s bocce ball. Pearl also experience pronunciation problems with bowls. Ren asks if they’ve ever played croquet, everyone says they have. Ren excitedly suggests to Pearl that they could play cricket. Impulse is not sure how it’s played, Pearl and False tell him it’s like rounders and wickets, which is unhelpful. Impulse starts feeling like he’s in a fever dream. Pearl goes to get her new mission, but she’s not going to read it out loud. False gets a mission too. Ren already has a mission. Impulse steps up to get a mission, but the game is empty. It’s very disappointing. Ren thinks this might be an excellent opportunity to do his mission. Impulse asks if it was Ren’s mission to get him to say “balls,” because if so, he won. Ren asks if the missions all have to be secret. False says most of them are all “do something or say something without the person knowing.” She says Ren could never be a good secret agent.

1:40:30 Pearl’s chat is begging her to ask Ren and False to play Wordle. Impulse thinks it’s a great idea. False demands that Ren close his chat so they don’t cheat for him. Impulse asks Chat if they want to go watch. Chat very much wants to watch. Impulse played yesterday and already knows the word, but he was not streaming so Chat will only know the word if they watched Pearl’s stream (or read the exhaustive recap.) Pearl takes them all down into the basement, where she has been building the locker room to hold inventories. False asks if a locker room means they’re going to die. Pearl says she hasn’t installed that yet. She cleans up a little buit while False and Ren read the rules and empty their inventories. Impulse turns off his facecam and goes to have a bio break while Pearl, Ren and False entertain the chat.

1:43:00 Pearl explains the game to False and Ren. It’s very much like Wordle, but there are no repeated letters and all the letter tiles are named dyes and flowers. Impulse comes back and watches along with Chat. False and Ren try to decide a starter word. Ren tries to think of a five letter word that is just vowels. He decides to play “BEAUT” and Pearl agrees this is a word because she is Australian. He gets one letter, in the wrong place.

1:48:00 Time for Round 2. Ren thinks there are eight vowels. He gets straighened out and decides he needs a word with I and O. He decides on “OINKS.” Pearl says that’s okay, so long as he doesn’t mind sacrificing a choice. Ollie Orionsound raids into the stream. Ollie’s chat tells Impulse he was playing Among Us, Impulse is very excited. He misses Among Us so much and wants to play it again. Ollie says he will let Impulse know if they run it back Ren gets one letter in the right place.

1:52:00 Ren tries to think of a third word. Pearl tells False she’ll switch the word after Ren plays so False gets a good play too. False says no thank you. She suggests to Ren that he might do well with a pen and paper. Impulse tells Chat he knows this stream is a bit scuffed, but he’s been gone and he missed his friends. He will get back to building soon. Chat is not actually in any hurry to get back to building. Ren plays “FILED” and gets none correct. Pearl realizes that he should have gotten some right and asks if the game has broken for the first time. She is worried until Ren realizes that although he showed off his guess on the item frames, he did not actually feed his guess into the game. He wasted a guess by not putting in any letters. He places the letters into the hoppers and runs the word again. Three letters lock into place, the other two are correct and in the wrong place.

1:55:30 Ren realizes there is literally only one option given the board state and plays “FIELD.” He gets the win condition. Everyone cheers! Ren tells Impulse he could’ve given him a hint that he had the letters reversed. Pearl admits she laughed when Ren decided to play Filed and not Field. Ren cleans up the supplies and puts them away, then resets the game. False definitely does not want to play, but she thinks the game is great. They discuss Wordle strategy and starter words. Impulse uses TRACE or SOUND for most of his starters, Ren thinks ADEIU would be good to get the vowels out. Pearl debates options for getting the last missing letters into the game. The game can handle the whole alphabet, but she doesn’t have enough dyes for every consonant without retexturing.

2:01:50 Pearl asks if Ren got a prize. He says yes, it had flowers and dyes. She says yes, that’s what they all have. Ren was not paying attention and makes Pearl rehash the “Why not all the letters” discussion. False suggests retexturing new, fake dyes. Pearl is ambivalent. Everyone is very impressed by Pearl’s work making the game. Impulse says she’s definitely a redstoner now, and he likes how she left it visible under the copper grates. Pearl tells Ren about the randomizer she spent four hours building yesterday, just to make sure nobody could get any hints. Other than tiny tweaks, the game is fully done and tested. Ren says there’s one thing missing: an ender chest. If hermits are going to pay, they need a chest! Impulse takes advantage of the new chest to play some horns. Pearl is going to put up a leaderboard with books so Hermits can keep track of their own streaks. Ren says Impulse is going to dominate because he plays so much Wordle. False says they need to let the old folks win some games. Ren suggests a timed version of the game, much to Impulse and False’s horror. Impulse wants a version where he can make a guess, go build for awhile, come back and guess again, etc. Pearl will make the game harder if everybody wins all the time. Ren suggests a hard mode to the game. Pearl thinks it’s doable, except it will take a _lot_ of work. Impulse feels her redstoner pain. Ren suggests an ultra-hard-mode that is just Pearl singing a countdown song and saying random words the entire time.

A suggestion about playing “BALLS” as the guess leads to an explanation of why there cannot be double letters. Ren suggests audio recording of various useful information to appear at different times in the game, like Xisuma’s TCG setup in Season 9. They brainstorm ways this could work.

2:17:00 Pearl does a little troubleshooting of the system and plays the fail sounds so they can hear it. It’s very funny. False says she should make the losers feel worse. Pearl points out that anyone who fails can pay another diamond to try again. Ren and Pearl are ending their streams, but Impulse has only placed about seven blocks today and needs to get some work done. He realizes he never did figure out what Ren wanted his brain for. Ren admits he just wanted to show off his new skin. False examines the new skin and points out the shape on the back. There is an arrow pointing to Ren’s butt. Impulse makes a suggestion that might be more risque than he intended. Chat is very amused. Pearl and False think Ren’s new skin without the glasses look like Beef, XB and Sausage. Impulse says he’s a meat lover’s pizza, a little Beef and a little Sausage. Ren says the skin will not have a tail because while he wants to be a dog, he doesn’t want to be a furry. There is a brief conversation about whether the coccyx counts as a tail. Ren decides to flee.

2:22:20 Impulse decides to head home. He says hello again to chat. This stream was supposed to be super-productive and he wants to get at least something done today. He drops back into the tunnel and sings the Secret Tunnel song, then tells Chat about the tunnel lore. He places five blocks and gets attacked by a baby zombie. He gathers more torches to light up the nearby caves. He says they may change the name of the city to DoublePulse valley, after him and Bdubs both. Neither of them are written into the story, but the city can still be named after them.

2:26:00 Impulse notes that he got so distracted that his Spotify finished the stream-safe playlist and went on to play other music. This VOD may not be monetizable. Ren raids into the stream. Impulse places one row of blocks, then starts talking to chat. A chatter asks how he feels about ducks. He is good with ducks. A chatter tells him to Google Bulk Bronson, a wrestler who looks like Impulse. Impulse can see it a little bit. He places some more blocks and talks about his vacation. 15 days ago he went to Seattle with his whole family, spent a couple days there, then went on an Alaskan cruise.

2:30:00 Impulse talks about vacation. The first day they went to the space needle and, on Scar’s recommendation, the MoPOP Museum. Everyone was wearing Pearl Jam shirts, and he didn’t realize why until later when he learned there was a Pearl Jam concert that same night, in walking distance of the hotel. He debated paying scalper prices to go to the concert, but then didn’t. He regretted not doing it. They went on the glass floor of the Space Needle. Impulse is afraid of heights so it was a little intense. Impulse didn’t get a chance to meet up with Scar or Fwhip while he was in town. Pike’s Place Fish Market was a disappointment, they do not throw the fish anymore.

2:37:10 A skeleton attacks Impulse, he tracks down where it came from to mobproof. At the hotel bar on the first night in Seattle, one of the bartenders asked Impulse if he was a gaming YouTuber. The bartender said the front desk guy recognized him. This was funny because Impulse was talking on the podcast the other week about how he never got noticed outside of cons. The cruise left on a Friday morning, headed for Alaska. It was a nice ship, a big ship, with an overwhelming amount of food. After the first couple of nights he felt sick from too much food and they stopped doing reserved dinner. There was a lot of food.

2:40:50 It took the ship two days at sea to reach Alaska. On those days, they found activities on the ship. There was a volleyball competition with one group of very skilled players who dominated everyone. Impulse’s youngest daughter plays volleyball and was very into it, so they went to watch. A guy at the tournament recognized Impulse and asked if he was Impulse. (That was Noah from the beginning of the stream.) Later they were going around the ship and there was a thing where they hide ducks on the ship. Kids can look for the ducks. Impulse’s daughter was looking for ducks, walking every level of the ship, every nook and cranny. It was a big walk. They went into a music hall to re-hide a duck she found, and while they were in there a kid approached Impulse and asked if he was Impulse. That was Colin from Tennessee, and he was very polite. Impulse’s daughter is 12 and now she thinks her dad is famous. Chat thinks Impulse is famous too. Another day went by on the cruise. Impulse and his family were going home from the pool, waiting for the elevator. Cruise ship elevators are slow, so eventually they decided to take the stairs. They went down four flights, and Impulse heard a little commotion of girls giggling above them. A woman stuck her head over the banister and asked “Are you a YouTuber? My daughters want to know.” Impulse was like “Yup.” So he met a mom and a couple of teens in the stairwell and took a picture. Impulse’s wife did not know what to do. She heard them yell “Impulse” at the top of the stairs, but she didn’t stop. It was maybe a little weird for her. Impulse’s daughter thought it was the best, though. Impulse suspects it might be because he was wearing his Life Series hoodie. He decided to stop wearing it, but his daughter put it on instead. Getting noticed was pretty fun, overall.

2:50:00 The cruise went to Sitka, a cool small town in Alaska. They had great fish and chips. Impulse pauses to consider the next steps of building. He’s actually making pretty good progress now. In Alaska they saw some whales, though not close up. The weather was cold but otherwise great, no rain. After Sitka they went to Skagway, but Impulse doesn’t remember what they did. He thinks they took a cool train ride. He is out of smooth slabs and leaves the tunnel to cook some rocks back at his base. Skagway had some interesting food, but it was good. Impulse was eating basically one big meal a day, but it was always good. The ship went to Juneau next, where they went on a dogsledding tour. They didn’t do the helicopter glacier tour because it was wildly expensive.

2:54:20 Impulse is caught up in his story and shoves his buckets of lava into the Smithing Input barrel. Chat informs him of this fact instantly, but he doesn’t catch it right away. “Nooo!” he cries when he notices it. He dives into the redstone and falls down a hole before escaping and climbing up into the smelter. He needs to stop the smelter from smelting itself. He mostly succeeds. He shows Chat some pictures from the dogsledding tour. There was no snow when they visited, so the dogs in the photo are pulling a wheeled cart. They look like very good doggos. After the cart ride, they got to meet the puppies. There is a picture of Impulse with a large and fluffy puppy, looking about as happy as he can be. Chat is charmed. Impulse says the puppy was very heavy and so cute.

2:58:00 The ship went past Dawes glacier. Glaciers are cool, and they got very close. Impulse talks about what glaciers are made of and shows a picture of a blue glacier. He gets a large dono and a nice message from a disabled vet starting his own channel. Impulse is touched and wishes him luck. He reads some other donos and subs. He talks again about going from 8C to 43C, but admits he got sick before they even got back, so it probably wasn’t the temperature. He did his best to wash his hands and use sanitizer, but cruises are disease vectors. On the last day of the cruise, they stopped in Victoria, British Columbia. Impulse woke up feeling a little sick. Victoria is a beautiful place and the weather was really nice. Impulse’s wife found a place that was supposed to have the best poutine in Victoria. They went to a pub called Irish Times and had poutine. Chat has a brief internal argument over the pronunciation of poutine. Impulse describes poutine (fries, brown gravy, fresh cheese curds but not like from Culvers, the unbreaded squeaky kind). The poutine was amazing. As he was enjoying his poutine, though, he realized he was sick. He got back on the boat and went to bed. His youngest daughter (the older two were there too, but they did their own thing on the boat most of the time) liked the bands, so she and her mom went to watch music while Impulse stayed in the room and ran a fever. He rested through the night, but woke up still sick and had to travel that way. They rushed off the boat so as not to miss their flight, and then the flight got delayed. He did his best not to complain and not to get germs on people. Eventually the plane did leave and they went home. Impulse spent two days in bed with his wife out on the couch and away from the germs. Impulse shills briefly for Factor Wellness Shots. He took every remedy he had available. After three days he started to feel better. He did not get a COVID test, but he’s much better now. It was an awesome trip with a lousy ending, but he got lots of good memories. It’s also probably the last time he’ll have a vacation with his whole family, parents and kids, together in the configuration they are now, so he wants to remember it.

3:13:00 Impulse thanks subs and donos. A chatter tells him a joke. He needs to figure out this music situation because Spotify keeps randomly picking nonsafe music after it finishes its playlist. The same thing happened to Skizz yesterday and Impulse should’ve been prepared, but he wasn’t. A chatter asks how long he’ll be streaming and he says not long. He has a podcast to record today. He shows chat how the wall light decoration works. He is justifiably proud of this. He reads off more subs and donos. He can’t believe how little progress he made today, but he had no “regerts.” He finds a random brick while digging and realizes he has almost dug into the other water elevator for Bop ‘n Go. Disaster narrowly averted.

3:17:40 A chatter asks for the podcast topic this week. Impulse says it’s dealing with failure. Most of the podcast episodes assume people can set goals and be successful at them, but they’ve never really talked about what happens when you fail and how you come back from it. He promises to keep it light, even inspirational. It’s important to embrace failure as a good thing. He hopes it’s a relatable topic, since everybody’s been there. He teases week after next with the possibility of another guest. They have a lot of people they want to get on the show, so they might have guests more often. Chat is enthusiastic and full of guesses.

3:21:00 Impulse look back and shakes his head about not even completing one full section. A chatter asks when he will come to the Netherlands. He says he’d like to one day. A chatter thanks him for inspiration to start streaming. Impulse places a few more blocks, then decides it’s time to wrap things up. He hasn’t even set up for the podcast yet. He is a slacker and Skizz is going to mock him for it. He notices that Cleo is streaming, so at least he has someone to raid into. He talks a bit more about the podcast topic for the week. A chatter asks if he reads podcast comments on Spotify. He says he does but not often, because they’re very hard to get to.

3:26:00 Impulse wraps up the stream and thanks chat for coming. It was a good coming-back stream. He reminds Chat to please, please, please watch the new video with its Important Lore. He thanks subs and donos. He tells chat he is not going to TwitchCon Rotterdam, but he will be at TwitchCon San Diego. He will double-stream on Friday, announcement soon! He raids into Cleo and ends his stream.

[cbrownjc]

Hi, Fun question I had while waiting for episode 6

Do you think Lestat, Daniel, Armand and Louis would like the twilight movies? Why and to which character would they relate the most?

Have a nice day!

Hi!

Well, first I should admit to you that I don't like Twilight. I've always disliked it since I read the first book before the first movie even came out. (And that is the only book in the series I've read BTW, though I have seen all 4 films -- only the first one in theaters though). So I actually don't know how objective I can be about this question . . . but I'll try. 🤔

And oh, you know what? I think Anne Rice herself commented on what Lestat and Louis thought about Twilight in a Facebook post back in the day, even though I don't have a copy of it. Which probably has a nicer reaction to it than I would give them about it. Or, at least what their book versions think about the series.

But I'm assuming you asking about the show versions of the characters and what they think, and with that? Well --! 😈

IMO, Lestat, and Louis both would find the whole movie series mostly hilarious IMO, just like they did Nosferatu. I can also see Lestat needling Louis a little bit wrt the whole "Bella has visions of Edward" thing if Lestat knows about Louis having visions of him during his first few years in Paris, and Louis being annoyed by that and insisting it was a totally different thing when it came to him -- given that, for one he was an actual vampire at the time unlike her and "vampire bond" and all of that -- and he is nothing like Bella Swann thank you! Anyway, Lestat saves most of his snark and laughter for The Volturi however because, as far as a coven that is supposed to be the head of the vampire world, how ineffective are they!?

Louis is also the only one out of the four who's even bothered to read all of the books in the series, even the most recent ones like Midnight Sun. He thinks they are less funny than the movies, but that's more because he didn't have Lestat in his ear making comments or laughing along with him as he read them. And hey, he can admit he does relate to the "not wanting to eat humans" thing of the Cullens though, sadly, the way that works in their world doesn't in the real one. 😔 Louis also knows that if Jasper Hale was real, he would purposefully antagonize the hell out of him on sight for that Confederate Army stuff (because if you think the issue of slavery wouldn't come up at some point --!)

Armand, being the true cinephile of the group would, IMO, find the films terrible just as films. And he thinks Bill Condon fell off as a director once he did that series, which is sad because Condon's Gods and Monsters is a film he greatly likes. However, he couldn't help but wonder if Stephenie Meyer was used by some ancient vampire -- via the Mind Gift -- to write this series of stories for the mortal world that gets so much of real vampire lore so very wrong on purpose (he read the first book and that was enough); and that maybe she was used by some ancient vampires to do so to hide something from the mortal world about something that was going on in the actual vampire world at the time. He looked into that idea very much at the time and, even though he didn't find anything, he still looks into it on occasion from time to time still, years later. But look, as far as the main story itself goes, Armand gets Edward not wanting to turn Bella. He just thinks Edward went about it all wrong. And he lowkey also gets Jacob obsessing over Bella too -- but he doesn't want to look at why he does too much.

Daniel was forced to watch all 4 movies with his younger daughter -- one of the few things as a deadbeat dad he did do with her when she would spend time with him after the divorce. (Same reason he's seen all the Harry Potter movies as well.) He thinks they're okay -- not the best thing he's ever seen, but not the worst. And he weirdly understands Bella's obsession with Edward for some reason -- he even feels a kind of sympathy toward her about it, though he of course logically knows she should just get over it because it would be the healthier thing to do.

If you are a fan of the Twilight series I hope you weren't too offended by this answer to the question. Because yeah, I can't pretend to like that series, and so my answer was going to have the characters snarking and critiquing it in some way, if not just mostly indifferent about it (in the case of Daniel).

[hpowellsmith]

Your writing for this game is flowing so fast and it makes me so happy, cause my anxiety didn't let me wait for RA without checking this form everyday lmao!! It has the potential to be as good as Creme!!

Is chapter 7 the last chapter you'll update before you submit HB to COG?

Thank you, that's incredibly kind 🥹

I'm really pleased that Honor Bound is going so fast and (generally) smoothly, it's been really nice working on it almost full-time. I think Chapter 7 will probably be the last update I put up publicly (it's currently up on Patreon and will go up for everyone on 2nd July).

I'm hoping to write as much of Chapter 11 as I can during June, and hopefully complete the draft in July. Whenever it is completed, what will then happen is:

I will send everything to my editor who will give me notes for Chapters 11-12

I will revise Chapters 11-12

Then at various times, with some overlap the following will happen:

The whole game will be closely reviewed by one of the CoG editors who will send me notes (in the past it's usually been an editor who isn't my main one, so it's fresh for them)

Automatically-generated playthrough seeds will be read by a number of continuity readers who will give me notes about errors, unclear stuff, or sensitivity issues

The beta test for the whole game will happen (usually this is announced publicly and can be signed up for by email - I say usually because a couple of games haven't been organised like that lately and I'm covering all my bases)

Through all that, I'll be editing the game in response to the feedback and putting up updates for the readers and testers.

Once all the edits are done, the game is polished to my satisfaction, and playtesters have slowed down and aren't finding errors anymore, the game will go up be copyedited. That's the stage at which I twiddle my thumbs and feel at a loose end, and also start thinking in more detail about what I want to make next. It's also the stage at which I'll have a clearer idea of the release date.

Then once the copyediting is finished and I've answered any queries about it, once the release date comes around we're ready to go! (I can't remember the timing for my other games, but for Royal Affairs, it was 4 months from the full draft completion to the release date.) And that's the point where I get jittery and nervous, and panic about self-promotion. But I also try to do something nice to celebrate.

After a couple of weeks I have a reasonable idea of sales and reviews (though I really try not to obsess over either) and can use that to make further decisions about what I do next.

So that's an essay you didn't ask for about what my next few months are going to be like!

[freakartack]

HOUSEKEEPING THINGS

1. MESSAGE TO OLD FOLLOWERS: so sorry that took so damn long. Normally i try not to treat this blog like a job but that was kind of ridiculous so i feel like an apology is in order. I fully overestimated just how much stuff i wanted to draw for this bit and i did not expect my blog to be held ransom by cartoon characters for two months but here we are. Thank you guys for being cool and patient about my hubris! I hope it was worth the wait. And if not, here is your money back. (placing imaginary money in your hand)

2. MESSAGE TO NEW FOLLOWERS: hi. Welcome to my blog! Thank you for taking an interest in my jokes. Because my blog has been held ransom by cartoon characters for two months i should probably emphasize that this is not an ask blog and is in fact just a regular blog, that happened to be held ransom by cartoon characters for two months. I do still draw wario comics though! A lot! So if you're into that, then you're in the right place.

3. THE ASKBOX SITUATION: So prior to mona stealing my login info this april you may have noticed that i shut down my askbox and turned off the lights. There was a couple reasons for that

3a. I accidentally got addicted to the internet

3b. I accidentally got so addicted to the internet that tumblr thought i was a premier hashtag super mario poster presumably solely based on the fact that i did not shut up for five days straight and so for several weeks it redirected every new person that said they liked mario to my blog and i thoguht they were all spam bots so i freaked it

4. WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW

4a. Freak it

4b. Just kidding

4c. WARIOWARE CAMPING!!! Currently I am in a tight spot Schedule wise however the next page is well on its way (had been put on pause due to april fools fiasco) and so it should be ready soon. If nothing else this experience has taught me how to pump out a fucking lot of comics so although i intend to make these drawings much higher in quality i will do my best to get the ball rolling!

4c. RANDO DRAWINGS: Also soemthing that I have to work on is not dropping off the face of the earth when I don't have a comic to post so I will be posting some fun little extras in between comics. I sometimes feel guilty when i do that cause i'm like "that doesn't count as a post" which is kind of dumb if you ask me. So i will be posting some art on my art blog going forward

4d. THE ASKBOX SITUATION: THE SQUEAKUEL: So you see my issue is I don't want to get addicted to the internet or overwhelmed or attacked by droves of spam bots and/or innocent civilians BUT i still want to have asks open because i like talking to you guys and i miss it. SO, i will compromise by opening my askbox on weekends, so that way i can have the best of both worlds. Maybe i will expand the ask window later on if i can behave myself but we'll see how it goes.

4e. FIXING MY BLOG THEME: Idk if i'm going to change it back to the pitcher plant pic but i do want to make it not be this. I might make a slightly updated theme that matches my content better so i might put a different warioware banner up there but idk i feel bad kicking out the plant. How are we feeling. The brave little toaster thing in my icon is staying no matter what though sorry.

5. OK THAT'S ALL BYE: Bye

[cranberryjuice-posts]

hi ! hope you're doing well ! I was wondering if you could write for clarisse x apollo child reader ? where like, r got into a fight (for clarisse maybe) (they ain't together yet yk, just r flirting a lil) and chiron's like "no desert and no magic healing" and r goes back to their cabin tail between their legs and then clarisse spawns, dropping a plate of like fruit or whatever next to r on the bed and has some first aid kit in her hand. I also see her like "drop ur pants" and r being "if u wanna go at it just tell me their a bed yk" stupid stuff like that. and it's just c being oddly sweet to r and like at some it rllly hurts and r's like "I'm refusing treatment >:(" and clarisse sits gently on their lap and plays with their like "please" and r's like "...okay" and when reader's all good to go they just cuddle and make out a bit 🤏🤏 (if ur comfortable)

feel free to ignore if u you don't want to/ can't/ don't feel comfortable to write dw !

Unlikely love

Pairings - Clarisse La rue x fem apollo Reader

An - this ain’t proofread so ✌️✌️

Here you were. Sitting in the big house getting a lecture for something that isn’t even your fault. The girl was running her mouth, and what you were suppose to just take it. “For punishments I think stable duty is fitting. No desert for a month and if your injuries are terrible you may visit the infirmary before returning to your cabin.”

“Great” You gritted through your teeth. Standing up you stormed out the old style house and down to the cabins. Ignoring any person that tried to stop you, pushing through the door you slumped past the medical stations and dropped onto your bed.

You weren’t an aggressive person. You hated physical alterations all together. The entire fight was Un fair but you couldn’t let her get away with what she was saying; clarisse wouldnt.

As if in queue the door opened. It was probably one of your siblings who forgot their weapon. Though in the corner of your eye you noticed the clock showed 7pm. Guess capture the flag was over with already. Go figure you were inside the big house for a while.

“I don’t have your shit so don’t bother asking me” you loudly spoke. You weren’t in the mood to deal with any of their accusations today.

“Don’t be a smart ass”

Sitting up you noticed Clarisse who was rummaging through your cabins medical stash. Walking to your bed she held a med kit and a plate of your favorite food, a glass of your drink of choice as well.

Setting the items beside you she turned on a light before looking at you with disappointment. “So why’d you fight her?”

You shrugged. “It’s not important”

“I think it’s pretty important when the least confrontational person i know gets in a fight.”

Realizing you won’t fess up clarisse sighed shaking her head. “Take off your pants”

“What?” You quickly asked. “If you wanted to get in my pants that badly you just have to ask”

Clarisse didn’t enjoy your joke. Giving you a warning glance you smiled finding her attempt to warn you cute. Sliding out of your shorts you sat on the bed, the wound you received from being thrown on the ground causing blood to run down your leg.

It didn’t take long for her to get to work, cleaning the cut and attempting to manage the cut. “Ella started running her mouth about you, calling you names and slurs.“

“And did you win?” She asked. Gripping your thigh she wrapped it in gauze before placing Medical tape on top.

“Yeah” You grinned. Clarisse chuckled a ‘good’. Leaning up she kissed you sweetly, a certain softness she hardly used. Noticing your busted lip she tried to continue to asses you.

“Clarisse stop” sighing you pushed her hand away.

“Your lip can get infected, stop being an ass”

“Im not I Just don’t want you to bother with all of it”

Staring down at clarisse you felt easily intimidated. She had a glare in her eyes that clearly communicated she wasn’t going to back down. “Fine” you grumbled.

You started dating the daughter of ares only a few months ago. Sure on the outside she seemed intimidating and well— cruel. But she wasn’t. Her hands were soft, holding your face with care while she apologized the pain You received as she managed your wounds. She never raised her voice to you, even when she was mad.

Wiping away the dried blood from your nose clarisse pulled you into a short hug. “I don’t want you fighting anymore” she instructed.

“But if someone says something about you I—“

“No you don’t.” Her voice never left an even tone. “I know how I’ve presented my reputation and I fully expect people to talk shit about me. But you can’t risk getting hurt because some smart ass wants to run their mouth”

She was right. Taking one of her hands into your own you gently kissed her knuckles. “I promise to never beat someone’s Ass for talking shit about you again” your sarcastic tone was met with a look from clarisse. Laughing you bent down to kiss her cheek.

“I put up with too much shit for you” she mumbled, reaching across you hand you, your dinner.

“Mm but you love me so it cancels out”

“Yeah it’s a real unfortunate situation.”

Hitting her arm you both laughed. As she sat on your bed, and let you lean on her as you ate, you were happy. Your girlfriend holding you while she talked about her day or the capture the flag victory while you ate dinner made you feel loved, made you feel proud to call her your partner.

[dead-lights]

the grand occult baking competition // in progress!

this is taking wayyyy longer than expected, but i'm finally picking up steam and making progress. episode 1 is fully written! the confessional set is complete! i really like the renders i've done so far (bc yeah to make the food stuff happen i kinda have to do everything in blender...)

unfortunately, i still haven't finalized my kitchen. i have two versions i'm working on, but i'm not very good at decorating and i'm unhappy with how both look. once that's done, i should be able to churn out everything else fairly quickly!

i'm so happy with how the confessionals turned out. i'm using a slightly edited RoM greenhouse as my set (bc i hate building sets). gotta nail that reality tv vibe, and nothing is more reality tv than a good confessional

I'm having some trouble getting fonts and sizing to look right across monitors/devices, but I'll get there!

very rough set previews + my complaints about how hard decorating is below the cut! i could use advice/feedback - i've been playing the sims since i was in first grade but this simblr stuff is comparatively new to me!

The countertops are intentionally bare - those are going to be set up specifically for each challenge. the walls/etc that will show up in the background are the issue. I really do like how a cluttered wall looks in the distant background, but whenever I try to do that myself I'm unhappy with the results :(

first set, based more on the design of the kitchens i see in baking competitions - sorta threw in those bookshelves bc i didn't know what to do. i don't like how the wall hangings look.

this overall looks good in renders in terms of positioning/lighting, and I'm happy with how some of the backgrounds look (also brandy is a cute cutie)

I'm less happy with other shots... it feels like my options are either a) poorly decorated or b) bare walls, but I'm sure there has to be a happy medium somewhere.

my second design: this one feels more like a classroom (those stairs just feel academic ok) and since my overall vision is that the competition is being held in Morgyn's converted alchemy classroom, this is kinda nice for that. I have a LOT of decorating to do though - like currently that back wall is completely bare and I don't know what to do with it. Probably a door/portal/staircase or something bc there's no other way out of the room, but when i tried that it looked bad. i'm not very good at this :(

anyway! it's going slowly, but it's going. i'm not sure when i'm going to finally start posting this, but if nothing else at this point i'm confident that i actually am going to get this done and online, and that feels nice!