#...not that i think he did. in my mind noah really is just that much of an asshole AND socially illiterate enough--

[ceyanabbiolo]

PHOTOGRAPH // M.S [13]

Summary: Daphne Denoire, a 21-year-old, returns to Boston after 3 years—but working for her brother’s best friend, Matthew Sturniolo, wasn’t part of the plan. He’s a 26-year-old multimillionaire. She’s the girl he was never supposed to feel this way about. With secrets between them and boundaries set, how far will they go for a love they never saw coming?

Warnings: mentions of SA, angst & fluff

wc: 4057

Chapter 13: Pipe Down Loverboy

The morning light crept in through the curtains, soft and slow. I didn’t sleep much—my body had rested, sure, but my mind…It had been racing all night.

Daphne was still tucked into my side, her breathing soft, steady. She looked peaceful now—something I hadn’t seen in days. Her face was turned toward my chest, her hand still loosely clutching the fabric of my hoodie like she’d fallen asleep. 

I didn’t move. I just lay there, one arm around her waist, the other brushing slow circles over her back.

Last night changed everything. The way she broke. The way she trusted me. The way I saw her—really saw her—for the first time.

It hurt.

The moment my eyes landed on the word scrawled across that small sticky note, everything clicked. The confusion, the hesitation, the way she pulled back—suddenly, it all made sense. But my body went still.

I believed her instantly. There wasn’t a single doubt in my mind.

But believing it… and processing it? That was different.

My brain struggled to accept that something so horrific had happened to someone like her. Sweet, soft-spoken Daphne. The girl who probably had ant funerals, who carried herself like she was trying not to take up space.

I felt sick.

She had gone through something so cruel, so violating… and I hadn’t known. 

I’d been there that night. Just downstairs, laughing and drinking like the world was perfect in pure graduation bliss. 

I closed my eyes for a second, jaw tight. I’d been so goddamn clueless.

I remembered that night clearly—Noah, my brothers, and I setting up the house for the graduation party, laughing, moving furniture, setting out drinks. It felt like a celebration. It was supposed to be.

I remembered Daphne, too. She came downstairs briefly, soft-spoken as always, asking if the party would be over before midnight. She had school the next morning, and she didn’t want it to be too loud. She had said it in that way she always did—like she didn’t want to be a bother. She was just a kid back then.

Then she went back up to her room.

And I didn’t think twice.

I remembered seeing Carter White that night, too. We weren’t close, but we were familiar. He’d been around a few times—through a friend of a friend, mostly. I didn’t hate him. Never had a reason to.

But now? Now I could barely even let my mind say his name without wanting to break something.

It all made sense now. Why he had disappeared, Noah must’ve buried it, handled it quietly. I just thought Carter had just moved or gotten into trouble somewhere else, but it wasn’t random. 

My mind drifted back to that night at the market—the night we were walking under string lights and the air smelled like fried food. I remember how I casually asked her why they moved out of the house, even though it was fully paid off.

The way she hesitated before answering.

“A lot happened in that house.” 

“Good things, bad things.”

“Eventually, that house started to feel suffocating. I couldn’t be in my room for long without going insane.”

I hadn’t pushed her for more. I didn’t realize there was more. But now, knowing what I know, those words hit completely differently. Her room. That room. The place she was supposed to feel safest.

I let out a slow breath, gently combing my fingers through her hair as I stared up at the ceiling. Beside me, Daphne shifted slightly, her breath soft and steady against my skin. She looked so peaceful, so untouched by the chaos of the world. 

How could anyone ever try to hurt her? Someone so gentle, so quietly kind—it didn’t make sense. 

Every single unanswered question I’d ever had—clicked into place. They were questions I didn’t think much about either. 

Why Noah had suddenly become so occupied during his first year of law school, constantly busy, always unavailable. I used to think it was just the intensity of his program, or maybe some side internship. But now I understand. He wasn’t just "busy." He was in court—fighting for her rights. 

If it had been anyone else, I might’ve asked questions. Wondered why someone our age was spending so much time in a courtroom. But Noah being a law student made it easy to overlook. It was believable. Convenient.

And Daphne, she had all but disappeared that year. I barely saw her during her senior year of high school. Before that, there were always glimpses of her. Then she was just… gone. Like a ghost in her own home.

She hadn’t just vanished for no reason.

Now, I understood why Boston made her uncomfortable. Why she wanted distance. Why she chose the farthest school she could—London. It wasn’t just for education. It was an escape. She needed to breathe again. Needed space from the shadows that still lived in the walls of her childhood home.

And she never told anyone—until now. 

I looked down at her sleeping beside me. 

My chest ached.

I sat quietly, my back pressed against the headboard, I hadn’t moved an inch—too afraid of waking her, too afraid she’d pull away again.

But then I felt it. A faint shift in her body.

Daphne stirred slowly, her fingers curling slightly against my chest before her eyes fluttered open, still heavy with sleep. She blinked a few times, taking in her surroundings, the unfamiliar quiet between us. Then she tilted her head slightly upward.

“What time is it?” her voice came out raspy, barely louder than a whisper.

I reached over to my phone on the nightstand and checked. “almost 11.”

She blinked again. “Oh…” 

Daphne slowly pulled away from me, her fingers sliding off mine as she sat up more fully.

“I’m just gonna use the bathroom,” she mumbled, her voice still soft from sleep.

I nodded. “Yeah, go ahead.”

She stood, the oversized t-shirt she slept in hanging loosely around her thighs as she padded barefoot out of the room. The door clicked shut a moment later.

I ran a hand through my hair, letting out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. My body was stiff—probably from staying in the same position all night—but it didn’t matter. I stood, stretching my arms above my head before quietly walking out into the hallway.

I made my way to Noah’s old bathroom—he always kept a spare toothbrush for when we stayed over. I ran it under the sink.  My reflection stared back at me—tired eyes, the same hoodie and sweats from last night.

I hadn’t even changed. Hadn’t slept properly. But none of that mattered.

“Matt,” Daphne gasped, eyes wide as she looked at the spread laid out across the counter. “You got all this?”

I grinned, rubbing the back of my neck. “Yeah… figured breakfast was the least I could do. I apologize for not knowing how to cook though—didn’t want to serve you something questionable just because I tried to be impressive.”

She let out a soft giggle, the kind that made something in my chest settle, and slid into one of the chairs at the island.

I turned back to the fridge, pulled out the drink I’d hidden, and walked it over to her.

“Here,” I said, placing the cup in front of her.

She gasped again,  fingers wrapped around it slowly. “You remembered?”

I shrugged casually, but I couldn’t hide the smile tugging at my mouth. “I pay attention.”

She looked down at the matcha, then back up at me. Her expression softened—almost shy. “Thank you. Seriously.”

“Don’t thank me yet,” I teased, sitting beside her. “We still have to see if I picked the right toast.”

“If it’s strawberry jam, we’re all good”

“Then you can go ahead and thank me,” I replied, flashing her a quick grin.

We ate quietly after that, but I couldn’t help the way my eyes kept drifting toward her every few seconds. She looked calmer this morning, more at ease—hair still a little messy from sleep, sipping matcha like it was about to run away if she didn’t. 

“What, Matthew?” she said dramatically, catching me mid-chew with a knowing look.

I didn’t say a word. I just swallowed, leaned in a little, and lifted a hand to gently cup her cheek. My thumb brushed softly against her skin—just for a moment. Then I let go.

Her expression faltered, just slightly. Like she wasn’t expecting that kind of tenderness.

“You have the prettiest smile,” I said, voice low but honest.

She blushed almost instantly, glancing down at her plate like it could save her from the warmth rushing to her cheeks.

“I’m being serious,” I added, watching her. “Your whole face just… lights up. Like it was made to smile.”

She looked back up at me, softer now, her smile returning without effort.

“I want you to always be smiling, Daphne. Not sad, or hurting.”

I referenced her claim of being really sad yesterday. 

She looked away for a beat, eyes landing on the counter. “I know,” she murmured.

I hesitated for a second, then gently leaned my arms onto the table. “Have you ever thought about talking to someone?”

Her eyes flicked up, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Therapy,” I said carefully, not wanting to startle her. “I think it could help. Just to talk, get everything off your chest.”

She frowned slightly, shaking her head. “I don’t need that. I’m not that sad, Matt.”

“It’s not about being that sad,” I said, tone still calm. “It’s about healing. About having someone trained to help you make sense of things. Even if you’re doing okay… it could help you feel better than okay.”

She stayed quiet.

“I’m not saying you have to jump into it,” I continued. “But… we offer insurance through the company for that kind of stuff. You could go, talk to someone, try a session. No pressure, no cost.”

That was a lie. There was no coverage. But if I told her I’d pay for it, she’d refuse in a heartbeat. This way, she’d feel like she was doing it on her own terms.

She studied me for a long moment. “You really think I need it?”

“I went to therapy for years. For anxiety.” I continued. “It really helped. I can arrange for you to be with the same lady that helped me. She really great”

Her expression softened again—this time with something heavier than affection. Something like understanding.

She didn’t say yes. But she didn’t say no again either.

“How long did everything with the court last?” I asked, my voice low as we sat curled up on the couch. The TV was playing something forgettable in the background, but neither of us were really paying attention.

“All of senior year,” Daphne replied, staring ahead. “We had to wait months just for the trial to be scheduled, but once it finally happened… things moved fast.”

I nodded slowly. “That must’ve been a lot to carry.”

She let out a small sigh, sinking deeper into the cushions. “It was. I barely got through that year. My grades dropped. I was constantly sad or numb—like I couldn’t feel anything at all. I didn’t really have any friends back then either.”

She paused, then added with a faint smile, “And Noah’s cute best friend went off to college, so life was pretty terrible.”

I glanced at her, a smirk playing on my lips. “You missed me when I left”

She shrugged, the tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at her lips. “Yeah. You were the highlight of the occasional weekend.”

I shook my head with a soft scoff, still not entirely sure how she’d ever liked me back then. It was sweet—mind-boggling, but sweet.

“Wait, Matt,” Daphne said suddenly, her voice cutting through the quiet.

I hummed, glancing at her. “Yeah?”

“Are we… dating again?”

A chuckle rumbled from my chest. “I’d say so, yeah. Technically, we broke up after a two-hour relationship. Feels like we’re due for a proper run.”

She squinted at me, teasingly. “So… you’re my boyfriend?”

I grinned. “Correct.”

“And I’m your girlfriend?”

I brought her hand up, brushing a kiss over her knuckles. “Yes, sweetheart. You are.”

She let out a dramatic puff of air and flopped back into the couch with a grin. “Thank goodness.”

I raised a brow. “That dramatic, huh?”

She let out a soft, almost bitter laugh. “Yeah… kind of. I really thought I ruined the one good thing I had going. The one person I actually feel like I can talk to… about anything.”

I gently brushed my thumb over the back of her hand. “You have Noah too,” I reminded her, even though the second I said it, something about her expression told me I was wrong.

She slouched deeper into the couch, her voice quieter now. “Not really.”

My brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

“Noah’s there,” she said slowly, like she was trying to explain something she had trouble even putting into words. “But… I can’t talk about everything with him. Not the hard stuff, at least. Not the things that really eat at me.”

I nodded slowly, still trying to piece it together. “But he knows about… what happened to you. Your—” I paused, not wanting to use the word unless she wanted to. “Your SA.”

“Yeah,” she whispered, almost absently. “He knows… just not the details. We never talked about it. Not once.”

My stomach twisted.

“What do you mean you never talked about it?” I asked, confused, a bit sharper than I meant to sound.

She stared ahead. “I told him. Just once. He handled the court stuff, made sure I was safe, made sure that guy went to jail… but emotionally?” She shook her head. “He shut down. He couldn’t handle it. I don’t think he knew how to. And every time it almost came up again, he just changed the subject. Or got weirdly distant. So I stopped trying.”

I blinked slowly, and a wave of irritation crept up my spine. Not at her—but at Noah.

I clenched my jaw. “That’s your brother.”

“I know,” she muttered.

“He’s supposed to be there for you,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm, but there was heat in it now. “Not just legally, not just logistically—emotionally too. I’m pretty sure he was your legal guardian at the time too, wasn’t he?” 

She nodded. 

“I think he tried in his own way,” she said quietly, like she was trying to defend him. “I don’t think he meant to shut me out. But he was young too, and probably didn’t know what to say.”

“I don’t care,” I said, harsher than I intended, and immediately softened my tone. “I mean, I care, but… that’s not good enough. What happened is messed up, and Noah was all you had, and the people who love you should’ve been there—fully there. Noah should’ve asked if you were okay. If you wanted to talk. If you just wanted someone to sit beside you while you cried.”

She looked at me now, really looked at me, and her eyes glistened under the soft lamp light.

“I’m glad you’re talking to me about it,” I said, voice low. “But it pisses me off that you had to hold that in for four years. That you felt like you couldn’t lean on the one person who was supposed to have your back no matter what.”

Silence settled between us, heavy but not cold.

Then she whispered, “I didn’t realize how much I needed someone until you started listening.”

I smiled. 

“Well I’m a good listener right?” I said, referencing what she told me that night we went to that night food market. 

The way she looked at me, I could tell she remembered her words too. 

“Yeah…you are Matt.”

“You know,” Daphne said, her voice soft as we walked through the quiet park, bundled in jackets against the crisp night air, “your company pays really well.”

We decided to get out of the apartment for some fresh air. 

“Yeah?” I glanced over at her.

She nodded, stuffing her hands deeper into her coat pockets. “I didn’t expect to be making this much. I mean… twenty grand a month is a lot for a personal photographer.”

A small smile pulled at the corners of my mouth. If only she knew the real reason.

“Well,” I said, keeping it casual, “you deserve it. You’re a perfectionist—you work hard.”

There was a beat of silence as we walked under a canopy of trees, the city lights faint in the distance. Then she spoke again.

“You know… I think by next month, I’ll have my student loans paid off.”

My head turned. “You told me that was still a work in progress.”

She grinned, proud. “It was. But… it’s happening.”

I bumped her shoulder gently. “So… what about that big girl purchase now?”

Her brow lifted. “You mean the car?”

I nodded. “Yeah. The Porsche. That one you’ve been eyeing.”

She let out a laugh. “I’ll probably start with something regular for now. If I’m going to get that dream Porsche, it has to be baby pink and fully customized.”

I smirked. “Smart move. Think long-term.”

I nodded. “The porsche yah” 

She let out a chuckle. “I’ll probably get a regular car for now. Plus if i'm gonna get that dream Porsche it was to be baby pink and that is to be customized.” 

“True true, thinking smart.” 

Daphne nudged my arm lightly, a mischievous glint in her eye.

“Well… I did make a different big girl purchase,” she said, feigning innocence.

I looked at her, amused. “Oh yeah? What was it?”

She bit back a grin. “I got myself a Chanel bag.”

I blinked. “A Chanel bag?”

She nodded proudly. “Yup. When I was in London, I used to visit this really nice mall, and there was a Chanel store. Every time I walked by, this one bag was always in the display window… same spot, every time. I kind of made it my goal to buy it one day.”

I let out a soft chuckle, unable to stop myself from smiling at the way her eyes lit up. My gaze flicked down to our intertwined hands, her fingers warm and relaxed in mine.

“Well,” I said, squeezing her hand gently, “you deserve all the Chanel bags you want, sweetheart.”

Her smile only grew, walking under city lights, hand in hand.

If there was a girl who deserved every good thing the world had to offer, it’d be Daphne Denoire.

“What else do you want?” I asked, curious.

She paused, thinking for a moment.

“Maybe visit London again,” she said. “See some of the girls I met there.”

I nodded, and we kept walking in comfortable silence. That was until something caught my eye.

“Wait, sweetheart,” I said, gently stopping her with a hand on her arm.

“What?” she asked, confused.

“Your ribbon’s coming undone.”

She always wore that signature bow, tied neatly into her hair with a ribbon. It was slipping loose now.

“Oh—thank you, Matt,” she said, starting to fix it.

“No problem.”

But then she hesitated. “No, I mean… thank you.”

“For what?” I asked, my brows raising slightly.

“For everything,” she said softly.

I let out a quiet chuckle. “Everything?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I mean it. Everything I have right now, I feel like I owe it to you. You offering me this job… it’s changed everything, Matt. It’s done more good than I think you realize.”

Her voice was quiet, sincere—and I could tell she meant every word.

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” I said gently. “I saw potential in you—and I was right.”

She nodded, eyes soft in the dim light, but her voice came again, quieter. “Not just that, Matt… I’m thankful for you too.”

A small knot formed in my stomach. 

A faint smile tugged at my lips. “Yeah?”

She nodded slowly. “Yeah... You’re the only person who actually stopped long enough to see me. Really see me.”

Her fingers tightened just slightly around mine as she continued, “You’ve never let me down. Even when I pushed you away, even when I couldn’t talk… you stayed. You listened. You didn’t make me feel broken.”

She paused, her voice getting smaller. “Thank you for last night… for just letting me cry. For holding me. For not asking me to explain it all when I couldn’t.”

I looked over at her then, at the girl who once said she felt like she’d never be normal again—standing beside me, stronger than she knew.

“You never have to thank me for being there,” I said. “It’s not something I do out of obligation. I care about you, Daphne. A lot.” 

“Really?” 

I smiled. “Really, sweetheart.” 

She let go of my hand, interlocking our arms instead.

“I care a lot about you too, Matty,” she said softly, slipping her arm through mine.

My chest tightened in the best way possible. I didn’t say anything right away—didn’t trust myself to without sounding like an idiot. My throat felt thick, and my smile was too wide to hide. So, I looked ahead, trying to wrest away the warmth rising to my cheeks.

But I wasn’t fast enough.

“Wait—” Daphne leaned forward, peeking at me. Her eyes lit up. “Oh my gosh Matt, are you blushing?”

I turned away instantly, rubbing the back of my neck, trying to play it cool. “No, I’m not. It’s—it's cold. The air’s just messing with my face.”

“Mhm,” she grinned, pulling her arm away from mine and stepping in front of me to block my path. “Sure. Definitely the air.”

I stared at her, deadpan. “It is chilly.”

Daphne let out a soft giggle, rising up slightly on her toes to cup both my cheeks, her fingertips warm against my too-cold skin. “You look so cute when you blush,” she teased gently. Her eyes sparkled like she had just discovered a secret she’d never let go of.

I groaned under my breath. “Please stop.”

“Never,” she whispered. 

Before I could say anything else, she leaned forward and pressed the lightest kiss to my lips. Sweet. Soft. Her nose bumped mine, and for a second, the world just stopped.

My hands instinctively found her waist, anchoring her there for a moment longer before she pulled back, eyes wide and still smiling.

I swallowed. “You're dangerous, you know that?”

She was still smiling at me, all soft and sweet after that kiss. Her hands slowly slid down back to my hands, but the warmth stayed there like a brand. 

I barely had a second to breathe before she tilted her head and said, “You know…I should compliment you more often.”

I raised a brow, still recovering. “Why?”

She grinned. “So I can see your loverboy side more.”

I blinked, immediately scoffing under my breath. “Loverboy?”

She nodded with way too much confidence. “Yup. You’ve got the whole shy blushy romantic thing going on. It’s cute.”

I let out a dry laugh, crossing my arms. “I’m not a loverboy.”

She stepped closer again, her face way too amused. “Oh no? What do you call what just happened then? The blushing? The gentle forehead kiss yesterday? The way you bring me matcha every morning?”

I looked away, jaw ticking. “That’s not loverboy behavior. That’s…that’s basic human decency.”

I don't know, was it?

She gasped dramatically. “Matt, you’re literally the definition of a loverboy. Just accept it.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, but she was still smiling like she had all the evidence in the world stacked against me. Maybe she did.

“I’m not,” I repeated, a little weaker this time.

She leaned up again, whispering near my ear. “Whatever helps you sleep at night…loverboy.”

I groaned, but even I couldn’t fight the smile tugging at my lips. I was screwed.

“You literally just blushed because I said I cared about you,” she continued her taunting. 

I shook my head, walking faster to hide how flustered I was. “I’m not doing this.”

But Daphne just skipped to catch up beside me, bumping her shoulder against mine. “Pipe down lover boy, no need to be rude”

“I’m ignoring you.”

“Mmhm, and you're blushing again.”

“Daphne.”

“Lover Boy.” 

“Alright, I’m officially taking you home.” 

“Alright, Lover boy.”

READ ALL RELEASED CHAPTERS NOW!

[a/n: Matt is a lover boy. literally my favorite car video ever. Like and reblog! AND comment, I love reading them. mwah!] –ceyana

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[total-drama-brainrot]

Island Assistant Noah AU, where Noah got himself eliminated on purpose, but Chris + Chef somehow figure it out... The day after Noah's elimination, everyone is surprised to see that Noah's back... Chris reveals that inside the contestants' contracts: "Anyone who gets eliminated on purpose, will become Chris Mcclean's Assistant."... And Noah has to be decent at his job, or he won't get paid... Noah stays Chris' Assistant all throughout Island, Action and World Tour! 🌎 (I'm sorry if I'm asking this twice; I don't remember asking this!)

OKAY!! SO!!

You did already ask me this and I did have an answer in the works to the original ask, but because Tumblr's mobile app is my number one enemy, I accidentally posted it. So, really, it's super fortunate that you asked this twice!

But! Because I'm a smart cookie, I took some screenshots of what I had typed out in the original post, so I can just re-type it out here and carry on! (I'd post just the screenshots, but they're full of typos because I'm just awful at typing on a phone.)

So, here's my answer:

Yes!! Give me a Noah who thought he was being so sneaky and cunning by intentionally getting himself eliminated, only for it to backfire horrendously!

The producers would've known that the contestants were being sent to Camp Wawanakwa instead of the resort their contract heavily implied they'd be going to, so they would absolutely anticipate at least one of them trying to pull a stunt like Getting Themselves Eliminated Intentionally- either as an act of defiance against the trickery (of Camp Wawanakwa not being what was advertised) or just to be spiteful.

Noah being the one to do so is just happenstance.

(It was more so expected from the likes of Duncan or Izzy, who are outwardly anti-authoritarian and not afraid to confront perceived injustices.)

If I may, I'd suggest having the contract outline that whoever intentionally gets themself eliminated has to work as a base-level intern, and that their "pay" is them working off whatever expenses the show invested into them as a competitor (travel costs, lodging, food, ect.). So Noah ends up stuck in the role of an unpaid intern for however long it takes him to "earn his keep" so to speak. But it's a Sisyphean task, since his debt is ever growing- he's forced to stay at Playa des Losers as an intern, and his daily cost of living is just added to the expenses he needs to work off.

At first, he'd be outright resistant to doing any of his tasks as an intern, because why should he? He didn't ask for the job, he didn't (knowingly) sign up for it either, and it's not like he's gonna be paid for his work. That is, until the producers threaten to pass his debt off to the rest of his family to "pick up his slack"; Noah's not heartless, and he cares a lot about his family, so he concedes to actually doing the work expected of him to save the rest of his brood from having to compensate for his short-sightedness.

(Let's say this turn of event takes about a week, meaning that from the time of his own elimination to the threat to his family's financial wellbeing, only Justin and Katie have been eliminated. Since, at least during Island, it's established that a challenge and subsequent elimination ceremony happens every three days.)

Now, the thing about lazy people- of which Noah undoubtedly is- is that they're downright innovative when it comes to figuring out shortcuts for any type of labour. Now that he's invested in doing his job, Noah uses that big brain of his to quickly figure out how to get all of his allotted tasks for the day completed to near-perfection, in a manner that's both efficient and easy. It gets to the point where he's completing a full day's work in an hour, spending the rest of the day doing what he loves; nothing. The other interns are just as annoyed as they are impressed.

Word quickly gets back to Chris about his miracle intern. But he's either too preoccupied to actually listen to who it is, or no one thinks to explain that his most productive labourer is the ex-competitor he'd contractually conned into the position.

Needless to say, Chris' interest is piqued.

The host issues a request to have the mystery intern shipped out to the island so they can work on the "important stuff" instead of doing menial tasks on the Playa, and is met with staunch refusal on their part. Which is odd, at least to Chris, since the interns send to be far too scared shitless of him (or, more notably, Chef) to ever outright deny a request like that.

It makes more sense when Noah's literally dragged kicking and screaming back to the island. Of course the only person ballsy enough to defy Chris' whims is the same contestant who got himself intentionally eliminated via deliberately pissing off his teammates. But he's back, now, so he might as well be put straight to work! No use in wasting labour, after all.

(Again, this probably happens over the course of a few days at most, since showbusiness is such a hectic and fast-paced line of work, so let's say that Tyler's the only new elimination in this timeframe.)

Again, Noah utilizes his higher-than-average smarts to figure out how to streamline his expected tasks because he's lazy, inadvertently proving himself as a Valuable Asset to both Chris and Chef since he's surprisingly good at what he does (even if what he does is very little by design). Chris is quick to offer Noah an ultimatum; he can either be promoted to being Chris' Personal Assistant, thus meeting the demands of his previous contract (and, of course, entering a new one under different pretences) and finally being paid for his work, or remain as an unpaid intern indefinitely and receive penalisation for his slacking off- since, despite the fact that he's gotten all of his work finished, he's still technically on the clock for the allotted work hours and should be acting as such instead of lazing about.

It's not really much of a choice. Noah reluctantly takes the promotion.

That's how he finds himself in the position we all know and love; Chris' Personal Assistant.

Because of his new promotion, he's expected to be at least within the vicinity of Chris at all (reasonable) times. The problem with that? Chris is hosting the show he got himself eliminated from in the most socially destructive way possible. Noah's now contractually forced to, at the very least, tiptoe around the prior teammates he knowingly and intentionally made hate him and dearly hope they don't notice him.

...Thus begins an AU's worth of shenanigans wherein Noah is desperately trying to fly under everyone's radar as an intern.

(I'd carry on into what he does during Action and World Tour, but this post is already fairly long, so maybe another time?)

[livingdxadwriter]

Stuck Here Like Me

Michael “Robby” Robinavitch x F!Doctor!Reader

Summary: in the wake of the chaos, you’re there to pick up his broken pieces. Takes place during 1x13 so spoilers if you haven’t seen it yet

Warnings: depiction of explicit themes, death, grief, panic attacks, blood, hospital stuff, ptsd, age gap (reader is 35, Robby is 50) (no smut but yall better love it)

WC: 4.3k Drabble who?

A/N: omg no smutties??? Who possessed me??? Okay well there is smutties, this just isn’t it. I mentioned before that I started writing smutties based on ep 12 but when 13 came out I just had to write a comfort fic. God this man needs to be held and loved so I couldn’t help myself. The smutties based on ep 12 is still on the works. So think of it as an alternative ending to this one. I started writing this last night after I finished ep13 and i cant believe I finished it so fast. Hope you enjoy being traumatized give Noah his Emmy btw

Staying away from the chaos of the ER was the plan for today. As far away as you possibly could. You did this on purpose. Neither of you had worked on this day in years. You didn’t mind that Robby had made other plans. You were even happy that he was keeping his mind occupied with Jake. You would happily stay home and catch up on some well deserved sleep. Ever since you convinced Gloria to give you that pediatric emergency medicine fellowship, you had been doing overtime almost every single shift. You left at the same time as Robby every night, and that was saying a lot.

So when you felt movement beside you, your husband shifting as quietly as possible, you were very suspicious. You stirred and grumbled almost immediately. Much to his attempt of getting out of bed without waking you.

“Michael.” You muttered into your pillow, blindly reaching for your phone beside you. He gritted his teeth, turning his head to find you squinting at your phone. “Why are you getting up at six on your day off?”

“Ah, busted.” You felt his weight sink into the bed as he leaned over you to leave a kiss to your hair. “They’re down an attending this morning. And you know we’re short staffed so.”

You scrunched up your face, huffing softly as you shifted on your back. You gave him a look of apprehension and he leaned down to kiss the expression lines on your forehead.

“Today? Really?” The sleep lingered on your voice as you rubbed your eyes softly. He clicked his tongue but said nothing. You weren’t shy about it. You were an R2 when the pandemic broke out. How you managed to start, and maintain a functioning relationship was still beyond you. Though you guessed you understood each other’s he trauma. And your marriage has been without issues so far, so you guessed it worked out. Still, you weren’t beneath bringing it up, even if he didn’t quite enjoy it. “Michael I really don’t think—“

“It’s fine. I’m fine, really.” He was firm with his words, loving, but firm, like he didn’t want to press the matter further. A sigh of resignation left your chest and you shrugged, shaking your head at him.

“Mkay. Want me to come in with you?” You sighed, stretching out your arms with exhaustion. Robby narrowed his eyes at you and shook his head.

“Nope. You’ve been working what? Thirteen? Fourteen hours straight? Absolutely not. Sleep while you can. You’re going to burn yourself out.” You hated when he lectured you, the age gap between you sometimes becoming painfully obvious. You groaned with annoyance and squeezed your eyes shut. You hated when he was right.

“Fine, whatever.” You pretended to pout, which he found quite amusing. With a soft chuckle he leaned down to press a kiss to your pouty lips. You couldn’t help but giggle. “I swear Gloria is still punishing me for hexing you with my charms. She couldn’t get rid of me so she’s making me suffer.”

“Aren’t you doing overtime willingly?” He tisked at you as he peeled himself from you to finish putting on his scrubs. He knew that if he didn’t leave your side soon he would forget he has actual responsibilities to attend to.

You scoffed at him, shifting to your side again, “I’m being coerced. She insists that my fellowship is an unnecessary expense and that if it hadn’t been for your favoritism I would’ve had to transfer hospitals.”

“It wasn’t favoritism. I was completely objective and unbiased. You really are one of my best doctors.” He reminded you and you laughed into your pillow.

“She doesn’t seem to agree. She makes sure to remind me every time she sees me.” You rolled your eyes, disdain lacing your tongue. Robby found it almost amusing how you didn’t even try to hide your opinions. He always had to hold back a laugh whenever you gave Gloria side eyes when she came strolling down to the ER to get on his case about one thing or another.

“Yeah, well, she’s a pain in my ass too. Don’t take it too personally.”

“I’ll make you coffee and something to eat, hm?” You suggested, figuring you would spend as much time with him as you could before you didn’t see him for the next twelve-plus hours. He shot you an apprehensive glance, eyes narrowed but you were already throwing the blankets off you. “I’m already up. I’ll take a nap when you leave.”

Robby chewed on the inside of his cheek, clicking his tongue as his eyes followed you out of bed. His eyes never left you, more than happy to be reminded that you were parading around in nothing but an old tee and panties. He followed you out of the bedroom with eagerness, more than happy to follow you around until he left.

“Shit, my sweet and amazing wife is making me coffee this morning? And she’s making sure I eat? Aren’t I lucky.” He chuckled, following you to the kitchen. Your giggles filled the air and he was so in love with the sound it made his head spin.

“Don’t forget hot and young too.” You looked over your shoulder and shot him a wink, snorting at the groan he let out at your teasing words. If you had to be reminded that he was older, he had to be reminded that you were younger, too.

“God, I hope you don’t say that shit to other people. Makes me sound like such a creep.” He sighed out, his freckled cheeks dusting red with embarrassment. You loved to tease him about it. Even though you were already thirty when you started dating. You found it amusing how worked up he got about the logistics. You knew it fucked him up for months when you first slept together.

“If it makes you feel better, I tell people I wanted to fuck my attending.” You managed to hold in your laughter until after your words sunk in, you had your back to him as you made him his coffee, but when you heard him mutter ‘Jesus fucking Christ’ behind you, you bursted into giggles. “You love me. Oh! Can you get me the strawberries and blueberries from the fridge? And the Greek yogurt.”

“Yes I do, unfortunately.” He sighed out a long exaggerated breath as he searched around the fridge. You shoot him a glare, which he took with a chuckle.

“Okay, well, you can starve then. I’m not making you shit.” You clicked your tongue, huffing as you crossed your arms over your chest. Robby pouted, trying to stifle a laugh at the matching pout on your lips.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He said in between laughs as he wrapped his arms around your waist, pulling you to him and he left kisses on your cheek, on your nose, until you broke a smile and giggles left your lips. “You have such a shitty poker face.”

“I do. I can’t resist your old man charms.” You teased, throwing your arms around his neck. He rolled his eyes at you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips, successfully shutting you right up. You didn’t protest, you were in fact, very pleased with this exchange. God, you wished he would stay home with you. You didn’t want him to go. You were tempted to jump him right then and there. If you pushed him enough he really couldn’t say no to you even if he tried. But you also knew better. So against your better judgement you relented.

“I really have to go hun.” His words left his chest with an edge, his fingers slightly digging into your hips. You slightly threw your head back, grabbing his face as you whined. “Cmon, don’t do that.”

“I really can’t convince you to stay, hm? You’ll have me all to yourself today.” Your words left your lips softly, quietly. You could almost hear the gears turning in his head, his jaw ticking with each string you pulled.

“I’m gonna think with my head and regrettably say no.” An uneven breath left him, much to his dismay. Your offer was so fucking tempting. But he knew better, he definitely wouldn’t hear the end of it if he ended up not showing up.

“Ugh, I like your other head better.” You gave him one last jab to his sanity before you pulled yourself away to resume your previous task. You heard him groan loudly as he reached for his freshly brewed coffee.

“God, you're going to give me a heart attack one of these days.”

Though there was a smile on his face, those soft brown eyes filled with warmth, you knew him well, too well, and you knew there was more hiding behind those eyes, behind the same facade he put up every year. And that sat with you, you carried that worry like a burden, because you didn’t know what truly was going on in his head, what he was thinking. And it made you wish you could just lock him up until the day had passed. But alas, he wasn’t the type of man to hide. Exchanging I love you’s as he walked out the door left you with unease, with anxiety. And you couldn’t shake that feeling.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hey love. Lemme guess, you’re staying late?” Your teasing words were laced with humor when you picked up the phone. You had managed to get through your day, though you definitely missed your husband. It was around six when he called.

“Yeah, something like that. Uh, fuck. I’m sorry to ask, but could you come in?” He rushed out his words, a sense of urgency edging through his tone even over the phone. The smile on your face quickly fell and you stilled, stammering over your words. “There’s an active shooter at PittFest and I’m down two residents. Please, you know I wouldn’t call if I didn’t have to.”

You were running to your bedroom for the first pair of scrubs you could grab before he was done talking. Your mind was racing with a million questions, but you didn’t have time to ask any of them.

“Fuck me. You really couldn’t stay home today, huh?” You blew out a breath of exasperation as you threw on pieces of clothing like a maniac. You were thankful you had decided to take a shower before getting started on dinner. Guess you would have to settle for takeout tonight, if you even left the hospital at all.

“I wish I had. Look on the bright side though, I missed you so much I had to find a way to get you here with me.” Though his words were playful, nothing about his tone was humorous in the slightest, there was so much edge to his voice it made your heart sink. As if he needed another thing to make today miserable. Today, out of all days, too.

“You could’ve just asked.”

You were on autopilot, walking to the hospital wasn’t even a conscious thought. You and Robby walked there every shift, it was just automatic. Though you were sure your feet walked just a bit faster than usual because you were walking through those doors and rushing downstairs before your brain could even process where your feet had taken you. You were met with the sight of just about the entire ER staff, day and night shift. Your heart pounded against your chest louder and louder by the second. You spotted Robby talking to Dr. Abbott. His eyes trailed in your direction and he could almost feel a sense of relief wash over him when he spotted you. It was automatic, his feet were taking you to him. He met you in the middle and he pulled you into his chest without hesitation.

“Michael.” You offered quietly, pressing the side of your face against his chest, happily accepting his embrace. You felt him press the cheek against the side of his head, a long sigh of relief leaving him.

“I really needed you. Thank you.” He muttered softly, only for your ears to hear. You nodded.

“You should’ve called me sooner. You’re down two residents?” You asked quietly, feeling the way he tensed under your touch at the question. He half nodded, another exasperated sigh leaving his heavy chest.

“Yeah. Collins wasn’t feeling well, so I sent her home, and I had to send Langdon home, too.” You could hear the slightest bit of edge in his voice at that last part. You frowned, pulling back to look at him with confusion.

“Why? What did he do?” You asked with a frown, having the feeling the reason had nothing to do with illness. His jaw tightened, his eyes drifting away from your gaze.

“You don’t want to know.” He shook his head dismissively, but his tone was anything but reassuring. You narrowed your eyes at him, not convinced by his answer. But he didn’t give you more than that. “I’m just glad you’re here.”

You didn’t want to push it, not right now at least, he had enough on his mind. You simply nodded at him, offering him a half smile as he walked you back to where everyone had gathered. You were met with some confused faces, but also welcoming glances of the familiar ones. You figured they were medical students or interns, since you didn’t recognize the new faces. What a day to be your first day, you thought.

“Okay, this is all hands on deck. That’s why I called for some help. For those of you who don’t know, this is one of our best doctors,” Robby looked at you as he introduced you. You felt almost embarrassed, faint heat rushing to your cheeks but you said nothing. “She’s our emergency pedes fellow, so if you need an attending and you can’t find me or Abbott, find her.”

You felt a bit awkward as Robby continued, now explaining the bracelet system and the colors for each area. You could still feel some confused and puzzled eyes on you every once in a while, but you otherwise ignored it. You figured there would be time for proper introductions later.

Robby and Abbott were done saying their final pieces before everyone dispersed in their own directions. You offered Robby a smile as he left to check on triage. This feeling of unease at the imminent doom that awaited you was making you sick, but you knew this is what you had to do. You eventually found Dana, and you were very distraught by the very evident brushing on her face.

“You didn’t have that last night. What happened to you?” You asked her, your tone alarmed, but you managed to keep your voice down. She sighed, like it was a long story that she had no desire to get into at this time.

“An unhappy patient decided to express how displeased he was with our care.” She states, her tone tired. Your eyes widened, your mouth falling open.

“A patient punched you? Are you fucking kidding?” You scoffed in disbelief and she simply nodded, too tired and burned out to do much more. You shook your head. “Maybe Gloria should fire me. Maybe she can hire better security with my salary.”

“Doubt it. She would find a way to claim we still don’t have the budget for it.” She blew out a humorless laugh, also shaking her head.

You opened your mouth to reply but stopped when you heard a string of voices speaking all at once, you knew it was time for the madness. And you had no idea just how much.

~~~~~~~~~~

You don’t know where your head was anymore. You were jumping from patient to patient like it was a marathon. You had managed to tune out most of the noise, focus on where your hands were. You were helping Langdon when you spotted Robby wheeling in a girl and your heart nearly stopped when you saw Jake following him. Robby hadn’t heard from him or his girlfriend since the shooting started and he was frantic, looking for him every time a new patient was wheeled in. He didn’t show it, but you could tell.

“You good here?” You asked Langdon, his panicked expression matching your own when he spotted Jake. He nodded, ushering you to go. You nearly ran across the other side to find Robby doing chest compression on a girl, and Jake was standing there, refusing to leave her side.

“Jake, hey, are you okay?” You asked him, checking him for any severe wounds, but he didn’t seem to be hurt, despite being covered in blood. He didn’t acknowledge you at first, his eyes glued to the girl on the gurney, you assumed this was the girlfriend Robby had told you took his ticket.

“Y-Yeah, I’m okay, just my leg I think. But Leah is really hurt. Is she going to be okay?” He still wasn’t looking at you, not moving either. You gently grabbed his arm as you made eye contact with Robby. You knew that look. You half nodded, trying to usher Jake back. You hadn’t known him super long, his mom and Robby had already been split for a while by the time you came into the picture. But he thought you were cool and you found his relationship with Robby endearing.

“Robby is helping her right now, but you can’t be in here. You need to get that leg checked. I promise I’ll come find you.” You slowly pulled him back as you called for a wheelchair, he wasn’t budging, understandably not wanting to leave his girlfriend. “Jake, please. Robby’s got her but you need to get checked out.”

You managed to join Robby, and it did not look good. You made eye contact with Dana, and you did not like the look she gave you. You took in a deep breath, clearing your throat as you tried to find your voice.

“Where do you want me?”

“Switch with me.” Robby panted, quickly switching places with you. You resumed chest compressions, despite knowing where this would end. You couldn’t stop the bleeding, and you couldn’t transfuse blood fast enough. But you would keep going until he told you to stop. “Stop compressions. Check for carotid.”

You swallowed, pressing your fingers to her neck. You held your breath, perhaps holding yours would allow you to feel even the faintest beat. There was nothing. You sniffled softly and shook your head.

“I can’t feel the carotid.”

“No femoral either.”

You stopped keeping track of how long you were at it. You were at three bags of blood when you stopped compressions, and again you couldn’t feel anything. Robby shook his head.

“Robby.” You protested, knowing this was it. There was nothing else you could possibly do. There just wasn’t enough time. He shook his head again, the denial evident on his face. You exchanged knowing looks with Dana as Abbott spoke, but he couldn’t get through Robby either.

“Push one more bag of O neg, resume compressions.” He insisted, his voice breaking the slightest bit. A shaky breath left your lips and you hesitated for just a second, but you complied nonetheless.

“Abbott is right. The bullet probably tore right through the aorta. I still can’t get a pulse and we can’t give her another bag.” Your own voice was breaking, sweat starting to fall down your forehead and soak your hair. He shook his head at you, checking his own pulse to make sure the machine worked. “Michael—“

“I know, I know. Fuck, just, let me try this. Please. Hold compressions.” His voice was shaky, on the verge of breaking as he avoided your gaze. You breathed out shakily as you stopped and waited. You could hear abnormal beats, coming and going. And then nothing. There was nothing. Robby kept trying, his jaw tight and he squeezed his eyes shut as he desperately tried to find a pulse. Anything. There was nothing. Your eyes found Dana’s and she shook her head at you. Your eyes filled with tears when Robby shook his head. “We’re done.”

Your breath got caught in your chest as you held it, your own eyes fluttering shut as the realization finally dawned on you. When you opened them again your eyes landed on Robby and your heart sank. You swallowed, inhaling sharply before you spoke.

“Do you want me to come with you?” You asked quietly and he quickly shook his head, sniffling softly.

“No. I’ll go. Just.. Can you take her?” He looked at Dana. She nodded. You opened your mouth to speak again but he gave you no time. He was rushing down the hall as you were left with your mouth open, speechless and distraught. Seeing him like this, it reminded you of what today was. And that feeling made you so uneasy it made you nauseous.

You didn’t know how much time had passed. You got pulled from patient to patient until your head started to spin. You didn’t even have time to notice Robby was gone. And nobody could find him. Those words made your stomach drop. You rushed to where Jake was, you found him still on his gurney, crying. You figured he knew.

“Jake…” You said softly, and he didn’t even bother to look at you. “Jake, I'm so sorry. We tried. We really did. But I need you to tell me where Robby is.”

Jake stayed silent for a long while, sniffling quietly, still not looking at you, “I dunno. He took me to see Leah then he kicked me out. He started, like crying and didn’t come back out.”

Your eyes widened, your breath picking up and your chest started to pound. “I promise I will come check on you but please, try to call your mom. She must be really worried.” You offered him a half smile, your lip quivering the slightest bit before you rushed to the pedes room. God this fucking room was cursed.

Your heart was not ready for the sight you would find. You were frantic as you opened the door and you found your loving husband, the love of your life, in a corner with his hands behind his head, shaking. You choked on your own breath as you grabbed the curtain and covered the door before you dropped to your knees in front of your husband. Your own eyes filled with tears at the sight of him like this. It was like he didn’t even process that you were here, he was hyperventilating, choking back sobs into his arms.

“Hey, Michael. It’s okay, baby. You’re okay.” You held back your own tears as you reached to grab his face. He wouldn’t stop, he was sobbing and crying like you had never seen him do. You didn’t know what to do, you had never seen him break down like this. Your own tears had started to fall without even knowing. But you kept talking to him, you grabbed his face, “Michael, hey, you’re okay. I’m here with you. I’m here baby.”

“Did… Did I ever tell you you have the prettiest freckles? They go so well with your eyes. You have the kindest, softest eyes. I’ve been in love with them ever since I met you. I knew that you were it, I knew I wanted to be with you, all the time.” You didn’t know what you were saying, or when you started to cry, too, but you continued, “I’m right here with you, okay? At your lowest, remember, like in our vows? I got you, I promise.”

You didn’t know what clicked in his head, or what wall fell down in his fragmented mind, but he reached for you, a broken sob leaving him as he found refuge in the comfort of your arms. He sobbed into your shoulder and you held him, cradling his head as you shushed him softly, choking back your own tears.

“It’s okay to cry, you know? You can cry. It’s okay. Just breathe with me.” You spoke quietly into his ear, pressing a kiss to his hair. He held you tighter.

“I couldn’t save her. I couldn’t save any of them.” He sniffled into your shoulder, his voice hoarse from emotion. It shattered your heart to hear him like this. You would give absolutely anything to make sure he never felt like this.

“I know.. I know. And I can’t make it hurt less, I wish I could. But it’s okay to grieve and feel like this. Sometimes we need to feel it.” You said softly, breathing softly, each breath you took was slow and steady until his own breath matched yours. You held him there, you let him cry until he couldn’t anymore. You couldn’t even begin to imagine how long he had been holding this in. Years of grief bottled up until he couldn’t take it anymore. “You have saved so many lives. So many people look up to you. I look up to you. And I know you have lost a lot, and that feeling will never go away. But the good you have done doesn’t go away either.”

You lost track of how long you stayed like this. But you didn’t care how long it took. You held him for as long as he needed. You said nothing more as he cried quietly into your shoulder, until he stopped and all that was there was his tight grip on you and his steady breaths in your ear. When he was ready you gently grabbed his face and offered him a sad smile. He closed his eyes as he leaned into your touch, a shaky breath leaving his lips as you gently wiped his cheeks. He opened his eyes to find yours. And as he looked at you, you felt so much sadness seeing the eyes you were so in love with so full of pain. You held his face, your cold rings against his hot skin grounded him. You leaned your forehead against his and stayed just like that. You said nothing. He said nothing. You had nothing to say. You needed this silence. Words weren’t necessary, only grief and sadness was present and that was okay. You would be here to pick up his broken pieces when he was ready.

[foreverlittlesoshi]

i mean camaraderie

noah sebastian x reader

content warning: smut, rough / harsh sex, belly bulge, size kink, fingering, noah is pretty much just a pleasure dom honestly

word count: 1.6k

MINORS DNI 18+

The loud sound of the front door being slammed let Noah know immediately you were in a bad mood. Must’ve been pretty bad he thought to himself and let out a sigh as he could hear you screaming into a pillow since the apartment walls were thin. 

He made his way to your bedroom door, knocking lightly and waited for an answer. The sound of your mumbling made him nervous but he just wanted to check on you and made sure you weren’t gonna destroy your vocal cords from screaming so much.

“WHAT?!” “Woah, what’s wrong?” He asks, raising his hands in defense and you immediately feel bad. “I’m sorry, the date was just-ugh.” you explained and he just chuckled.

“Was it really that bad?” You couldn’t help but start ranting about how the dude was a complete narcissist misogynistic asshole even though you tried so hard to deal with it to get a quick fuck. You didn’t even hesitate to complain about how badly you needed it because it was ovulation week and it was killing you.

“Are you serious?” he scoffed, “You went out with a complete stranger when i was here the whole time?”

He wasn’t wrong. Everyone could just smell the sexual tension between you two, even past boyfriends or girlfriends and hell, even flings could. It would be a lie if you denied ever thinking about him in that way but you always pushed those feelings aside so it would never be awkward. Fuck, why did he have to be so attractive? 

“You’re so fuckin lucky that i need dick so badly or else i’d turn you away.” You tell him as you grabbed him and pulled him into your room, slamming the door shut. Hopefully Jolly will come home late tonight. A rough kiss makes you moan softly, his large tattooed hand holds your face, and he tilts your head slightly trying to kiss you deeper as his tongue enters your mouth. Pushing him down on the bed, knees buckling as you sat on his lap and could feel him getting hard. 

“Damn,” he breaks away from the kiss, “You weren’t lying.” Whining at him as you kiss him again, Noah then gently tugs at your hair causing you to pull away and let out a sigh of pleasure. “So fuckin needy for my cock, aren’t you?” 

“Don’t start talking like that.” Breathlessly telling him, grinding on him to feel some type of friction. “Awww, why not?” his taunting didn’t help, tugging again while his other hand trailed under your dress. “ Because I’ll cum way sooner than I plan to.” You informed him and tugged at his hair causing him to hiss as his eyes closed from the pleasure. As much as he knew this probably didn’t mean much to you besides a quick fuck, he couldn’t help but think of it much deeper. Was it because he always felt something more for you or was it because of how fuckin cute you looked in that short red & black velvet dress?

Removing each of your hands from each other, you reached behind to unzip the dress and let it fall around your hips. Your mind is blank as he pushes you onto your bed, removing your clothes and pulls you into another kiss, softer but still passionate. Feeling his hands and fingers roam your body makes you shudder as he pulls away. Noah settled himself between your legs, running a finger along your slit and rubbing his thumb in circles on your clit. Hips and knees are buckling from just the tiniest bit of stimulation, both of you groaning at the sensation of his finger sinking into you and just taking in the feeling of his finger, thicker and longer than your own and reaching places you couldn’t. 

“Fucking hell, Noah.” your voice sounded like you were on the verge of crying. If you were already this fucked out from his finger how were you gonna be due to his dick? He rested his other hand on your right thigh and squeezed, trying to help you back down to earth but with him entering another finger didn’t help and it just caused you to go more light headed as he pumped them.

“Hey, don’t go dumb just yet.” Shivering as his hand touched your cheek, eyes fluttering open and kissing him. 

“Please just fuck me. I can’t stand this anymore.” Begging him as he pulled away and he lifted himself up to tug off his shirt. You couldn’t help yourself as you caressed his chest, lightly dragging a finger to trace some tattoos and the sight of his bulge making you whine.

As he removed his boxer, you weren’t expecting him to be so big. I mean you had thought it was but actually seeing it made you anxious. It was actually pretty and didn't look like a mushroom wearing a skin hat.

“You plan on using lube?” He laughed at your question. “I’m serious. You’re the biggest I’ll probably ever take or have.” 

“C’mon, I’ll fit.” You just scoffed. 

“Let’s test it real quick then. Get up here.” He shrugged then positioned himself between your legs and lined his size against your stomach. Right at your navel was his tip, precum dripping right in your belly button and it made you whimper again.

“Noah, I don’t know about this.” “How about this, just the tip and it’s up to you when you can take more?” It shouldn’t be surprising that he was being thoughtful but it made your heart swell with how understanding he was. “Deal.”

He gave you a quick peck before letting his spit fall directly on your hole, shivering at the feeling of the warmth and feeling his tip run through your folds, his tip slightly pushing into you and already feeling the pain. Digging your nails right into his forearm and you could feel yourself break his skin but you didn’t mean to, it’s not like you expected him to be this fuckin big. He just rested there while you did your best to relax and get used to the feeling.

“You know what?” You groaned out. 

“What?” He was worried you changed your mind about the whole thing.

“I’m probably gonna regret this but just go balls deep.” “Are you sure?” Absolutely not but it’s just better to get this pain over with.

“Yes please.” 

Just the feeling of him pushing himself just a little bit more in made you feel so like you were genuinely being split in half so when his pelvis met your own, your head fell back against the pillow and felt so full. 

“Are you still with me?” “Mhm, just please fuck me now.” The feeling of pleasure taking control over you again. 

“Whatever you want princess.” Not even looking at him, you could hear the smirk in his voice and you almost snapped back at him until he pushed your knees near your head and it caused you to literally scream. 

The way he angles his hips makes you feel the merciless rhythm,  deciding today was a good day to try and completely obliterate your cervix. You could feel the tears streaming down your cheeks, brain feeling so fuzzy and Noah clouded any thought you could form. He couldn’t help but feel proud of himself. The way you looked as you got fucked stupid made you look so beautiful. The way your hair was disheveled, face flushed, eyebrows furrowed with pleasure and the little whines of his name leaving your lips. His eyes trailed down your body, the little bump that would appear as he thrusted into you made him want to cum right then and there.

“Wanna feel something?” You nodded weakly. 

Feeling his hand guide yours to your belly and you could feel the bulge of his cock from inside of you.

“Noah.” is the only word you could whine and for some reason, that awoke something in him. He pulled out then flipped you over and slammed back into you, hips slamming into your ass at a bruising force and honestly thought you could feel him ever deeper than before. His moans sounded so guttural at first but as he got closer to finally cumming, he got so whiny and you couldn’t help but have a slight thought that he was so cute.

 “How can you still be so tight? Please tell me you’re close? I’m about to cum. Oh f-fuck,I’m gonna cum. Please cum first.” 

Hearing him whine made you clench around him tighter as you finally came, screaming and crying out his name.Noah then pulled out and flipped you onto your back again making you overstimulated as he leans down into the side of your neck,he slams into you one more time before his hips finally stutter and feel him paint your inside with his cum as he bites your neck harshly causing you to let out one final moan. 

Even with the cloudiness in your brain, you still felt Noah lift himself up, an audible pop could be heard as he slid his cock out of you and the stickiness of the mix of cum leaking out made you cringe just a bit.

“Don’t make that face.” His chest was heaving, “Honestly, it’s hot.”

You weakly chuckled at him,” You’re not wrong but i’m already sweaty as fuck so this just makes me feel gross. Also, you’re a fucking dumbass.”

“Hold up, I just gave you the best dick you could’ve ever imagined and you’re insulting me?”

“I am because I didn’t think you would actually cum in me. I told you during my ranting that I was ovulating!” You remind him as you lightly slapped him.

“You act like we can’t go get the morning after pill.” He tells you.

“I don’t think I can walk because of you. So get your ass moving.” Groaning as he stands up and pulls his boxers back on then gets dressed. “Fine but I expect some cuddles when I get back.” 

“Of course.” 

A/N - this took me over a day to finish because fuck walmart also if it's not clear, yeah jolly didn't come home.

by the way, i based the height of the reader on myself since i’m 4’10 but obviously this could go for any height since noah is 6’3

[franeridan]

finished rereading the first volume it took me forever cause I jotted down a gazillion things and also had to cross check a lot of stuff with the eng translations cause I'm reading my italian volumes but wow this really is a "doubt everything you read" type of experience huh

gonna straight up start my dgm reread with pen and paper in hand to take notes wish me luck

[augustwinesworld]

in love with “I look in peoples windows”

if you’re willing to share do you have any headcanons about Noah 🥹 since he’s also kinda unconscious, what kind of kid is he? What type of relationship does he have with his mom? What is he obsessed with/are his interests ?

i just want to know more about these characters you’ve created!!!

𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬—𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐥 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧

What if your eyes looked up and met mine one more time?

series description: 

pairing: dr. michael robinavitch x  female ob/gyn attending! reader

genre: hidden pregnancy…maybe?

notes: Hiiiii, omg I am so sorry it took so long to answer this! I had a lot of shit going on last week, so I didn't write anything (and wasn't planning to tbh). Between exams, a three day opening event at the gallery, my birthday, and some other things I was very much overwhelmed. But finally, this headcannon is complete and I hope you like it<3<3

NEWS FLASH! : NEW CHAPTER WILL BE COMING OUT THIS SUNDAY, 18/05

word count: 2.1 k.

extra: moodboard | playlist | ☆:**:. 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐝𝐢𝐧𝐞 .:**:.☆ 

Feel free to #𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐞 (◕‿◕✿) *:･ﾟ✧ if you have any scenarios in mind! I might not write everything but I’ll respond to everyone.

series masterlist: 𝐢 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐢𝐧 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞'𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐰𝐬

Noah used to be obsessed with Dinosaur King:

The cards, the DVDs, the battered Nintendo DS game with the cracked hinge. His room is still a shrine to it: plushies arranged like sentries on the bookshelf, the limited-edition holo cards in a binder under his bed. Legend has it the only thing that soothed him as a colicky baby was the sound of Jurassic Park playing in the background—Mom swears by it, even if he now covers his eyes during the T. rex scene (but peeks through his fingers).

But that was, you know, a year ago. Back when he was a kid. Now he rolls his eyes and says things like “I outgrew it,” but the second someone gets a dinosaur fact wrong—like claiming Velociraptors were the size of humans—he’ll practically combust. He’ll start with a scoff, then a “That’s not even close,” and launch into a very serious correction, complete with citations. Then he’ll go back to pretending he doesn’t care, cheeks a little pink.

He plays junior hockey, has from a very young age, but only started playing in a team three years ago. The ice is the one place where all the noise in his head seems to hush. He wears his Pittsburgh Penguins every game day, knows the team’s stats better than his times tables, and can name every position on the ice. 

Noah plays center, because of course he does—he’s the kind of kid who needs to know where everyone is, what’s coming next, and how to quietly keep things from falling apart. Center demands focus, balance, foresight; it gives his overactive brain a job and his anxious heart a place to breathe. He’s not the fastest on the ice, but he sees things—reads the play like a puzzle, always thinking three moves ahead. It’s the one place he doesn’t feel too much--it’s just enough.

The rink smells like cold rubber and somebody’s gross old socks. It’s loud, too—like whistles and stomping and parents yelling even though no one can really hear them over the buzz of the ice machines. 

Noah squints under the bright lights as he adjusts his helmet. It’s too tight. Again. “You’re gonna squish my brain,” he told Mom this morning, wrinkling his nose while she buckled the strap. She just kissed his forehead and said, “Squished brains make better decisions.” Dumb. A bit lame. But still kinda funny. He laughed.

Logan skates up and shoves him, grinning. “Race you to the bench after,” he says.

“Last time you tripped.”

“Did not.”

“Did too.”

They bump shoulders. No one's mad. Logan makes a gagging noise.

“Ugh, dude, you smell like syrup.”

Noah shrugs. “Had pancakes.”

“Yeah, I can tell. You’re like, sticky through your gear.”

“You’re just mad 'cause your mom made oatmeal again.”

Logan scowls. “That was private.”

They both start giggling, helmets clacking as they lean into each other, the kind of laugh that gets stuck in their throats.

Coach then shouts something about spacing and lines from the other side of the ice, but it’s kind of whatever. Noah just nods. He knows the basics: chase the puck, don’t fall, pass to Milo if he’s waving his arms around like crazy. He wipes his glove across his mouthguard and spits onto the rubber mat. Feels cool doing it. Like a real player.

The ref drops the puck.

He goes.

The ice makes that squeaky sound under his blades. His lungs burn, in a good way. He doesn’t see Mom, but he knows she’s watching. She always is. She claps louder than everyone, even yells his name sometimes—Noah hates that part—but today, when he glanced up at warm-ups, she was smiling with her hand over her mouth, talking to Logan’s dad. Mr. Harper. He’d laughed at something she said and leaned in a little. He’s standing kinda close. Like...close.. Noah doesn't know why he noticed. Or why it made his stomach feel weird. He just skates harder.

He wants her to watch. Just her.

LOOOOOVES boardgames. Especially the ones with many rules that his mom can’t understand so he has to explain with the utmost patience.

His routines. He likes knowing that every Friday night means takeout and a movie, or that Mom will play with his hair, leaving one or two braids hidden behind his hair after a bath if he’s tired. These things soothe the low hum of anxiety he doesn’t always have words for. Also, pancakes for dinner every Sunday. Chocolate chips for him and blueberries for mom. 

He shuts down emotionally under pressure. Especially if he’s scared or feels like he’s disappointed someone. So he might say, “I’m fine,” and then refuse to make eye contact for the rest of the night.

He gets jealous. Especially when it comes to his mom. If someone takes up her time—whether work, or even a friend—he might act out in subtle ways. Maybe he interrupts more. Maybe he pretends to “need” something he really doesn’t.

Milo’s sitting at the kitchen island, feet swinging, watching Noah’s mom slice apples like she’s doing magic.

“That smells so good,” he says, wide-eyed as she pulls cookies from the oven. “You should open a bakery or something.”

Noah stiffens. “She’s just making snacks,” he mutters.

His mom laughs, brushing flour from her cheek. “Milo, you’re sweet. But trust me, no one would buy cookies shaped like blobs.”

“She’s so nice,” Milo whispers to Logan, who’s already elbow-deep in the cookie plate.

Noah hears it. Hears all of it. And suddenly he’s on the verge of dying. “Mom,” he says loudly, climbing onto the stool beside her, “my throat kind of hurts.”

She turns to him, brow knitting. “Oh? Do you feel sick?”

“No,” he says, too fast. “But maybe you could make tea? Like the one with the honey and the—” He pauses, glancing at Milo.“—the kind you only make for me.”

There’s a beat. His mom looks at him for a second too long. Then she nods, brushing his bangs from his forehead. 

“Alright. Tea for the patient.”

Milo tries to ask her another question—something about the cookies—but she’s already moved to the kettle.

Noah shoots him a look. Not mean. Just... his. 

Like: mine.

Logan, clueless, stuffs another cookie into his mouth. “You’re so weird, dude.”

Noah shrugs, smug now. His mom's back was to Milo, and that’s what mattered.

He can be bossy with other kids. Especially younger ones. He thinks he’s just being “helpful,” but really he hates chaos and wants everyone to do what makes sense to him. This is when his dad’s rigidity shows up.

He’s prone to catastrophizing. He once got a B on a math quiz and whispered, “I’ll never get into a good school”—and he was only nine. A stomach ache? “What if it’s cancer.” Therapy’s been helping him name the spirals when they start, but they’re still real: fast, quiet, and hard to steer once his brain starts running.

A mildly anxious, overthinker. He overthinks, he spirals sometimes, but he's learning. He doesn’t always say it out loud, but it shows in the way he chews his sleeve or double-checks things that don’t need checking. And when he does speak up, he might say, “You should’ve called,” instead of “I missed you,” but the meaning still lands.

The house is quiet when you open the door—but not quiet enough. The TV is still on, humming low in the living room, and the lamp beside the couch casts a low glow. Your mother is passed out under a blanket, one slipper dangling off her foot.

You step further in, careful not to wake anyone. Then you hear it: the soft shuffle of bare feet on tile.

“Noah?”

He appears in the hallway, pajama pants wrinkled, hair flattened on one side. He’s holding his stuffed raptor by the neck, thumb pressed to the seam where the stitching came loose last week. His eyes are wide, but not upset. Just…watchful.

“You were gone a long time,” he says. Not accusing—just stating the facts. His voice is quiet. Even.

“I know, baby,” you say, setting your bag down by the door. “There was a delivery. Complications. I got stuck longer than I thought.”

He nods, like he’s tucking that away somewhere—filing it, the way he always does. You can see the questions lining up behind his eyes—how bad were the complications? did the baby make it? what if it happens again?—but he doesn’t ask.

He glances at the clock. “It’s really late.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“I wasn’t scared,” he says, chewing the edge of his sleeve. “I just thought maybe something happened.”

You cross to him and crouch down, brushing his hair gently back. He leans into your hand, just a little, like something in him finally lets go.

“I’m okay,” you say softly. “You can always call me. Even if Grandma’s here.”

He nods again. A pause.

“I checked the front door twice,” he says. No smile, just the truth of it. A quiet ritual. A way to feel safe.

You kiss his forehead. “I’m proud of you.”

And he holds your hand all the way down the hall.

He picks up on things quickly—tones, looks, when something’s off. He’s the kind of kid who’ll go quiet when a room turns tense, or who’ll suddenly say, “Are you mad at each other?” when no one’s said a word. It’s not precocious, just… tuned-in. Like someone who’s had to watch carefully, who’s learned to read the air before stepping into it.

Kind but grounded. He has his mom’s warmth and sense of care—the kind of kid who offers his snack to someone who forgot theirs, or comforts a crying classmate—but he also knows when to draw a quiet boundary. He might say, “I think we need space right now,” the same way his mom would calmly de-escalate a tense room.

Funny in a dry, observational way. Robby’s sarcasm filtered through a 9-year-old’s lens. Not mean-spirited, just blunt. He might deadpan when someone tries to fix something with duct tape, then go help anyway.

The pizza place smelled like garlic and the floor was sticky in some spots, but Noah didn’t mind. He liked this kind of busy—clinking plates, soda fountains hissing, Logan talking with his mouth full across the table. He liked it even more when his mom was here, sitting next to him, her jacket still zipped halfway up from the cold outside.

She was smiling politely. Again.

Logan’s dad had been talking for what felt like forever—mostly about the game, a little about his job (something boring, Noah couldn’t remember), and now about how impressive it was that she managed to come straight from work to the rink, and still had energy to take the boys out to eat.

“I’m just saying,” he added, leaning back in the booth like he’d landed a punchline. “If there were a Hockey Mom Hall of Fame, you’d be in it. With a statue and everything.”

Noah stared at him. Then turned slowly to his mom. She looked like she was trying not to laugh—or maybe trying not to roll her eyes. Hard to tell.

“She’s not even a hockey mom,” Noah said, voice flat. “She doesn’t even know the rules.”

His mom choked on her water. Logan giggled into his Sprite.

Logan’s dad blinked. “Well—I mean, she shows up. That’s the important part, right?”

Noah didn’t answer. He just took a bite of pizza, deadpan. Chewed. Swallowed.

Then: “Statues are weird.”

There was a pause. The kind adults make when they’re trying to figure out if a kid just insulted them. His mom reached under the table and squeezed his knee gently.

“You okay?” she murmured.

Noah shrugged. “Mhm.” He took another bite.

He wasn’t mad. Not exactly. He just didn’t like the way Logan’s dad kept looking at her, like she was extra impressive for being tired and kind and good at things. Like that was rare. Noah already knew that. He didn’t need someone else pointing it out like it was a surprise.

Across the table, Logan slurped from his straw way too loudly before adding, “Dad, are you trying to be embarrassing, or does it just happen naturally?”

His dad raised his hands in mock offense. “Hey, I’m charming. This is peak dad charisma.”

Logan snorted. “You sound like the car guy on TV. The one who yells and wears too much tanning lotion.”

Noah, still chewing, finally cracked a smile.

Logan’s dad looked over at Noah’s mom like see what I deal with? but she was just sipping her water, amused and entirely unsurprised.

Noah leaned into her side a little, just enough to feel her shoulder against his. Statues were weird. But this? This was fine.

Protective, especially of his mom. He doesn’t always understand what’s going on between her and Robby, but he feels it. If he thinks someone—especially his dad—is upsetting her, he doesn’t lash out; he just gets quiet and watchful. He notices everything, even when he doesn’t say it.

taglist: @snowflames-world, @nosebeers, @midnghtprentiss, @delicatetrashtree, @thestrals-and-firewiskey, @rosiepoise88, @miss-me-jack, @jojodojo02, @whimsicalfungiforager, @whos6claire, @melsunshine, @foolishseven, @misshoneypaper, @iceb1ink1uck, @kmc1989, @vlightning95, @girl-who-loves-books, @qardasngan, @madprincessinabox, @equallyshaw, @memoriesat30, @justobsessedwithyou,

© AUGUSTWINESWORLD : no translation, plagiarism, or cross posting.

[petew21-blog]

Uncle Noah's view

"You have such a nice view from this window, uncle. You can see the whole street from above like some king or whatever. You really must have worked hard to get a house like this. I guess being a lawyer has its perks. And also having a buff sugar daddy that you got yourself, haha. More like, I got myself."

"Oh, here he comes in his fancy car, talking to OUR neighbor. I just hope I'll be able to fool him enough to make him think that I really am you. Gotta make it believable, cause I can't do your job. That would be too hard and I don't have the knowledge or the capacity to do it. But I won't give up this body. I have been drooling over you for years. And your husband even more. But I still think that he wanted to fuck ne back then on your wedding. He was eyeing me the whole evening. Well, if that will be the case, I'll do to him what I did to you"

"Which brings me back to you on the floor again. Hope you don't mind being an old smelly piece of underwear. I really want to put you on right now, but having too much clothes on wouldn't be good for my plan"

"I think you look good, few cum stains then and there from me. Would be funny to turn you back in now to see how you would be covered in cum. Maybe I'll do that once Paul is at work. Gotta have some fun while I'm home alone, right?"

"Those beautiful packs of yours. The ones right here, covered in hairs. Trail of love to your beautiful package. But judging by the way your hole feels now, that you haven't been really needing to use your dick that much. Don't worry, I won't let you down. Can't let Paul have any bit of suspicion"

"I guess you must still have some sort of vision even in this form, so I'll put you ever the shelf in the bedroom to have a clear view over us. I hope you'll like to see your husband fuck your nephew with his enourmous cock. Man, I can't wait to get him inside of me. To feel his pulsating dick in me, riding him, feel him hitting my prostate. Fuck, Noah. Why did you ever complain about your life, I have no idea."

"Ohhh, here comes Paul."

"Hey, honey. I have been waiting for you"

"What a lovely surprise waiting for me already prepared" Paul said as he unbotten his trousers. This is gonna be wild

[frightenedcricket]

Noah can't believe he is this nervous...

You are waking next to him and talking about your day. He has been waiting for this day for so long and is a mess. When did he decide it was a good idea to invite you for take-out and anime for your first date? What kind of first date is that?

When he opens the door and lets you in, you look around as if taking in the house. He thinks it's cute. You two set the food in the kitchen and you can't help but notice how nervous he is. But you don't say anything. Maybe it's just because it's your first date.

Are you thinking this is weird? Do you want to leave? Maybe you think he's only brought you here because he wants sex. Or perhaps you prefer something different? You wanted to go out to a fancy restaurant, right? Do you even like the food?

"Noah?"

"Mhm?"

"I asked where we are eating"

"Uh... I... Well. Do you want to set a nice table outside? I have candles?" He blushes instantly. This is ridiculous. Now he wants you to set your own table.

"Uh..." You frown and bite your nails. "I thought we were watching something"

"Yeah, we can do that"

It's strange because he sounded excited when he asked you on this date. Like, you were literally talking about the damn show you both like and he said why don't you come over one night so we can watch it together? We can order food. Like a date.

You try to not think much about it and do your best to not make him even more nervous.

You sit together on the floor to eat while watching the show, quietly commenting on what is happening on the screen.

But it's getting worse. He is stiff, and sometimes, it's like he doesn't want to be there. You are so done with it. You wanted to have a good time with a friend of yours you also happen to really like, not sit in awkward silence with him.

"Okay" You leave the sticks on the table and drink some water, then you turn to him and are so serious.

I'm done. He thinks. You are gonna leave and never agree to go out with him to fix this mess he's made.

"What's going on?" You say as you clasp your hands over your lap.

"Uh... He is looking for his broth-"

"No, what is going on with you, Noah?" You say and he swallows.

He is sweating. His face is burning and he feels so small.

"Nothing?"

"Then why the fuck do I feel I'm having dinner with a tree instead of you, huh?"

His eyes are big and he has to hide his hands because he is trembling.

"I'm sorry I dragged you here, you probably wanted something else. I know this is so shitty for a first date. This sounded like the best plan because we both like this and I'm pretty comfortable in my house, but I didn't think of what you wanted for a first date. If I haven't fucked up completely maybe I can make it up to you and take you to some place you like. It's so awkward... I'm really sorry, I didn't want you to think I wanted to bring you here to have sex or something I just..."

He stops abruptly because you are laughing, like genuinely laughing. He is so confused. Has he fucked up this bad? Really? Do you have to laugh on his face?

"Noah... Oh lord" You try to breathe as you fan his face.

"Okay, this wasn't necessary. You could have just declined. This is so rude"

Now it's your time to stop. You cover your mouth.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry, it wasn't my intention... I... Sorry" You grab his hands. "I'm sorry. I was laughing because... I don't want a fancy restaurant, Noah. I was so excited for this. Like... You are the only person I know who enjoys this show" You brush his knuckles with your thumbs and take a deep breath. "I'm sorry for laughing, I thought it was funny because I was really expecting this date"

Noah blinks a couple of times before frowning. "Really? Don't you prefer something else?"

"Noah, I like you a lot. I don't mind where we go... But I really like this because it's just us and something we have in common"

To say he is relieved is already something.

"I thought you were bored or something... Shit..." He finally smiles. "So you don't think this is a shitty date"

"I think this is an awesome date, Noah"

He laughs and looks at you with dreamy eyes and blushy cheeks. He is the cutest, for fucks sake.

"Plus, I wouldn't be so opposed to the sex thing"

"Oh, c'mon... Let me finish my dinner first or something"

You laugh loudly and pull him closer, taking him by surprise with a sweet kiss.

Thank you to @collisionofyourkissmakesitsohard for the inspo!!

[measuredingold]

stargazing

authors note: ….hi🥲 this is coming a lot later than i expected, but my last update i did mention life was lifeing and well… it continued to life 😭 i got really sick and was down for about a week, and that added onto everything else just really dwindled whatever energy i had left to finish writing this. however, we powered through ! this is the finale part to you right and i just want to say thank you to everyone who stayed along for the ride. i hope this ending is somewhat of what you wanted :) title from stargazing by the neighbourhood. as always, enjoy and feedback is greatly appreciated !

pairing: noah sebastian x reader

divider: @saradika-graphics

word count: 7.7k

cross posted on ao3 / part one, two, and three

cw/tw: Noah Sebastian Is Getting Better At Feelings, first date nerves, ~tension~, reader is just smitten by noah lol, p in v ( don’t be like them, wrap it up ), big unsaid feelings, openish ending ?, 18+ minors do not interact

You pace the length of your kitchen, wringing your hands together as you try to calm yourself down. You feel silly for being nervous because Noah hasn't given you a reason to be all week. You could see that he was trying, and actually wanting to mend whatever relationship you had with each other, and maybe that's what made you nervous.

He was trying. He wanted this. He wanted you.

After literal years of telling yourself it'll never happen, that a hookup is all you will ever be, you find yourself a bit panicked at the possibility of it being something more.

It didn't help that you knew Noah was nervous too, possibly more scared than anything else, and for some reason that didn't ease your mind one bit. This was new ground for the both of you, and neither knew how to navigate it.

Your phone chimes from the counter, grabbing you from your nervous thoughts, and your heart practically drops.

I’m here :)

You feel sweaty, rubbing your clammy hands down the sweater that had adorn your body. Fuck. Why were you so nervous? You tell yourself it’s just Noah, but that only made the sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach that much worse.

You quickly punch out a reply, telling him you'll be out in a second, and rush around your kitchen to gather your things.

Bag? Check. Wallet? Check. Phone? Check.

You stop in front of a mirror you have hanging in the hallway by your front door, checking yourself out one last time. You over thought your outfit for hours and at this point you just hoped you looked decent enough. You think you did, and with one last look, you were out the door.

You weren't expecting Noah to be standing outside his car, leaning against it waiting for you. He stands up straight when he notices you, and you see the exact moment his eyes widen.

"Hi." He says breathlessly.

He looks you up and down, shamelessly checking you out and you can't help but feel hot under his gaze.

It's not like he's never checked you out before, has plenty of times in the past, but it was so different this time around. You can't help but tug at the hem of your sweater, cheeks flushing with color as you say just as breathlessly, "Hi.”

Your own eyes drag up and down his body, taking him in. He looked good. All black, like he typically wore when he tried to dress up, but still looked so casually Noah. His style was incredibly attractive to you, and you also couldn’t help but feel warm inside that he tried to look nice for you.

Noah blinks, as if he was snapping out of whatever trance he was in, giving you a tight lipped smile. "Ready?"

"Oh, yeah! Ready." You say a bit too enthusiastically, face heating up from embarrassment.

Noah's tight lipped smile falls into something much more relaxed, and your chest feels funny at the breathy chuckle he lets out. He moves before you, opening the passenger door for you. You give him a look, the corners of your lips quirking up.

"Since when did you become such a gentleman?" You tease lightheartedly, your smile growing at the bashful look on Noah's face.

"Always been one," He mutters as you start to get into the car, and he ducks his head into the car once you're finally seated, "but I wanna do this right, so I'm trying really hard right now."

The confession itself sparks a fire inside of you and you don't know what to say, head tipping forward to hide the flush on your cheeks from him. You miss the soft smile he gives you before shutting your door and coming over to his side.

Your heart pounds against your chest, and you're so busy trying to calm yourself down that you barely even look up at him when he gets in the car. You manage to spare a glance at him when he finally pulls out of your apartment complex, eyeing him from your seat.

Sometimes you get overwhelmed when you remember just how attractive he was, especially when you were able to see him up close. He took your breath away in the best way possible. You were always infatuated with him, even when hooking up with him meant just that. Before feelings became involved, before... everything. You were always just enamored by him and his casual beauty.

Your stomach turns when he catches your gaze, looking away from the road briefly, and he flashes you a gentle smile. You look away, hands wringing in your lap as you focus on the cars passing by, trying to ignore the way your face burned with the embarrassment of being caught. You wait a few moments to cast another glance his way and thankfully he wasn't looking at you anymore, so you could go back to admiring him without any interruptions.

Your eyes fall from his face down to his hands, one clutched around the steering wheel while the other is resting lazily on the console. The sudden urge to reach out and lace your fingers with his fills you so suddenly, you have to look away again before it becomes too overwhelming. Just the thought of your hand in his made your stomach flip, face burn, because you knew how it felt. You knew how soft his hands were, and how gently they always held yours.

You didn't think much of it then, but right now it’s the only thing you can think about. He clears his throat and your eyes snap back up to his face, watching him looking between you and the road.

"I'm uh," He clears his throat, "I'm sorry for not saying this before but you look beautiful."

"Oh." You're not sure what to say. You hadn't even noticed he didn't even compliment you, too caught up in trying to act at least somewhat normal around him. You can't keep your eyes off of him, a small, bashful smile forming on your lips. "Thank you. I uh, also didn't get to say it either, but you look very handsome."

"You think I’m handsome?" He takes his eyes off the road for a split second to look at you, the corners of his lips curling into a smirk.

"Yes, of course I do." The nerves that were flowing through you were slowly evaporating, your arms crossing over your chest. "What else am I supposed to think?"

"I don't know? I usually get pretty before I ever get handsome.”

"Pretty?" You question, giggling. "Oooh, I see. You just want me to call you pretty boy, huh?"

This felt normal. The back and forth teasing between you two wasn't forced, and felt almost normal again. It felt right. Your shoulders weren't as tense, dropping as you heard the first sounds of laughter from Noah. Your smile grows then, watching as he looks back towards you, cheeks a light shade of pink.

"Maybe."

"Well. You are a very pretty boy, but you're also very handsome. I think you can be both simultaneously."

"Yeah?" You nod and he purses his lips, trying to supress the smile that you knew was begging to break through, and fixes his eyes back on the road. "Well, uh. Thanks."

"You're welcome," You say softly, still eyeing him from the passenger seat.

Your conversation dies down then, but the air doesn't feel as nerve filled as it once did. A sort of comfortableness surrounds you both now, the hum of whatever playlist Noah decided to put on for your drive playing through your ears.

This was… really nice. Comfortable. It made something beneath your chest tighten, warmth spreading over you again.

You come to a stop at a red light and Noah shifts in his seat and clears his throat, the hand on the console tapping along to whatever was playing.

You eye it, and the urge from earlier comes back, and this time you don't fight it. Instead, you reach for it. You don't dare look at him, face burning as your cheeks flush pink yet again, and you turn your head towards the window. Your heart pounds beneath your chest when you feel his fingers lace through yours, and your stomach flips when he gives your hand a gentle squeeze.

The light turns green, and for the rest of the drive your hand doesn't leave his once.

When you pulled up to your apartment, you couldn't help but feel sad that tonight was over. For lack of better words - tonight had went fucking amazing.

The nerves between the two of you vanished almost completely by time you made it to dinner, and the rest of the night felt like this is how things have always been. You forgot how well you and Noah got on, personalities blending into each other with ease. The reason why you were so attracted to him to begin with was because things were just so easy. It almost made you forget everything that had happened leading up to this.

Even the ride home was amazing, conversation flowed so well between the two of you that the ride itself felt only 5 minutes long, rather than the thirty minutes it truly was. You don't think you've ever heard Noah speak so much.

You look down at your hands laced together over the console, smiling to yourself. The second you got into the car Noah was the one to reach for you this time, pulling your hand into his. It made you feel warm all over knowing he had let down a few more walls for you during the night, just being himself. It felt good knowing that somewhere deep inside Noah wanted to trust you and was trying his best to overcome the worry and doubt in his mind. He squeezes your hand and your eyes lift to meet his.

"I had a really good time tonight." Noah says softly.

You smile. "Me too. We should do this again."

You barely register the words that slip from your lips and flush, but you don't take it back. You meant it. You wanted to do this again, and you just hoped that Noah felt the same. From the way his eyes widened ever so slightly, and a bright smile formed on his features, you gathered that he did.

"Yeah," He murmurs and his eyes flick over your face. "Yeah, we should. I'd really like that."

Noah looks like he wants to say more but seemingly doesn't, and you watch the very moment his eyes drop from yours down to your lips. Your heart practically slams against your chest, eyes widening as you watch him stare for a moment before dragging his eyes back up. The air around the two of you was electrified, and it was the longest three seconds of your life watching Noah's tongue dart out to wet his bottom lip before speaking.

“You can tell me if I’m moving too fast.”

“Okay.” You whisper out, heart racing beneath your chest.

“Seriously, tell me if I am. I won’t take it to heart - no hard feelings whatsoever. We can even act like this never happened, if you want, and-“

“Noah.” You cut him off and you see the blush on his cheeks the second his words come to a stop. “Just say it.”

He pauses again and you’re mentally screaming at him to just do it, to fucking ask you because for the last minute and a half you’ve been dreaming about his lips against yours, the need to kiss him growing as each moment passes.

"Can I kiss you?"

He says it so softly, you almost don't hear him. But you do, and your face heats up, stomach feeling like a bunch of butterflies were set free inside of you because he finally said it. You stare at him for a moment, words suddenly becoming too much, so you settle for a simple nod instead. The nerves from earlier return, but this time mixed with excitement.

You remember the last time you kissed Noah and you can't hide the shiver that runs through your body. Memories of that night flood through your mind and typically the thought is always met with disappointment, but this time it's something much different. You don't dwell on the after, and the feeling he left you behind with, instead you're reminded of the way his lips felt against yours, and the way his hands felt trailing over your body.

You shift in your seat to turn towards him, slight disappointment filling you when his hand left yours, but the disappointment was then replaced by even more excitement when that very hand came up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

His eyes drop to your lips again, palm resting against the side of your face and you can't help but nuzzle into the touch. His thumb brushes across your cheek and your breath hitches when you see him lean in. Your eyes flutter shut as you suck in a deep breath, anticipating the moment his lips finally meet yours.

You know it’s not your first time kissing him. Far from it actually, but it feels like the first time all over again. It’s not like fireworks set off the second your lips pressed together, it wasn’t anything cliche. Instead, something much softer happens, something you haven’t felt in a very long time.

It starts from the tip of your head, right down to your toes. Warmth spreads through you, almost like a dull, comfortable ache, just letting you know that it’s there. That it’s real. Your chest does that thing where it feels weighted, but not in the anxiety inducing way. No, in a nice way.

You briefly wonder if he feels the same, like things are finally clicking into place.

Your lips move together slowly and you hear him sigh softly against your mouth. The hand against your cheek moves to the back of your neck to keep you there as he deepens the kiss, and you feel yourself physically melt in his embrace. You don’t remember the last time he kissed you like this, or if he ever has, but you quickly realize you never want him to kiss you any other way.

You part after a moment, the two of you needing to catch your breath. His forehead rests against yours and he chuckles softly, eyes remaining shut.

“I’ve been wanting to do that all night.” He confesses, eyes fluttering open to find you already staring at him, a gentle smile on your lips.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm. Since the moment you came out.”

You stare at each other, soft smiles and shared breath. He’s the first to pull away and you don’t know what takes over you, and think maybe you’re the one moving too fast, but the overwhelming urge to keep him with you fills your every sense, the tips of your fingers buzzing with the need to pull him back. You realize you’re not ready for tonight to be over, and you really want to kiss him again.

“Noah?”

“Hm?”

"Do you want to come in?"

Noah blinks, your words slowly registering. His eyes widen slightly and you almost laugh at the look he gives you, like you're crazy for even asking him that.

"You want me to... come in?"

"Yeah," You nod and this time you let your eyes drop to his mouth, keeping your gaze there as you say, "I really want you to."

"Are you sure?" He sounds concerned, and your eyes drag up his face to see his brows furrowed. "I... I don't want you to think that I kissed you because I was like, I don't know, expecting something. Because I wasn't. I just..." His cheeks flush. "I just really wanted to kiss you."

Your chest does that weird thing again, the warmth telling you I’m here, this is real, and you reach out for his hand again. His blush deepens but doesn't pull away, eyes dragging back up towards you.

“If you don’t want to, that’s completely fine. I don’t want you to feel forced.” Your eyes scan his face before locking your gaze with his, and your heart says fuck it. “But I really don’t want you to leave yet, so yes. I’m sure. I want you to come in.”

Noah stares at you for a long moment, curious eyes scanning over your face. You see the exact second that they soften and you think he's going to say yes. But instead he shakes his head, giving you a small, yet sad smile.

"Not tonight." Your heart drops and Noah's smile slips, noticing your shift in demeanor, lips now dipping down into a frown. "I want to. Trust me, I do. But..." His words trail off as he gives your hand another squeeze. "I wasn't kidding when I said I want to do this right."

Your shoulders sag a bit when his words settle in, because deep down you knew he was right. Even though you want nothing more than to drag him upstairs with you, you knew this was moving too fast. This was you being irrational, running on current feelings, rather than thinking logically.

"...Okay." You say slowly, a pout forming on your lips. "You're right. I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm sorry."

“Don’t apologize.” Noah gives you another smile and the pout on your face vanishes. “It’s taking everything in me to not say fuck it and go up there with you… but I know I shouldn’t. Not tonight, at least.”

Your stomach turns at the implication of his words. Not tonight, at least. Meaning there will most likely be another night where he drops you off, and instead of saying no… maybe he’d stay. You try to hold back the smile that’s threatening to form, but you can’t stop it, instead turning your head towards the window.

"Okay. Not tonight."

You count to ten to try and collect yourself before turning your head to look at him again, the smile you were trying to hide growing wider when you catch him already staring. You hold each other's gaze for a long moment, sharing the same knowing smile.

His hand unlaces from yours again and reaches for your face, humming out your name softly. If you had cared, maybe you would've been embarrassed how quickly you were already leaning back in, but you didn't care at all. All that mattered to you was getting one more kiss from him.

It's much softer than the last kiss you shared, just a slight brush of your lips, but enough to have your chest aching and mind racing. It ends as soon as it starts, Noah being the first to pull away again. His lips brush over your cheek before pulling away fully, giving you a dazed smile.

"Would kiss you all night if I could," He hums out.

"I mean, you could." Your teasing words are mumbled, the corners of your lips tugging into a smile at the sound of his chuckle.

"You're not helping."

"Sorry."

You're not and Noah knows that, giving you a playful glare as you unclip your seatbelt. You give him a bright smile, confidence flooding your veins as you initiate the first move, leaning over the console to plant your lips gently against his cheek. When you pull back, his face is flushed and he's staring at you so softly, it physically pains you that you have to leave him.

"Text me when you get home?" Your hand is already on the door handle and Noah nods.

"Of course."

With one last shared look, you whisper your goodbyes before finally exiting his car. You wave at him through the window and he waves back, looking as shy as ever, and your heart thuds against your chest. You have to turn on your heels and keep your back to him, training your focus on your apartment because you're about two seconds away from running back to the car and kissing the fuck out of him.

It isn't until you're halfway through your skincare routine when your heart finally slows down, and your smile isn't so wide that it's actually hurting your cheeks. You can't stop thinking about Noah, about tonight, and how hopeful you are for what's to come next. You hear your phone go off in your bedroom right as you finish applying your moisturizer, stomach flipping at who it could possibly be.

You already knew it was Noah, and your smile widens again as you finally check the message, settling under the covers of your bed.

Sorry for taking so long to text, got interrogated the second I got home lol

You laugh at the thought of his friends throwing questions at him the second he stepped inside. You could almost see the way his brows probably furrowed, giving them all a very unamused expression while Nicholas stood across from him, arms crossed with a look that screamed you’re welcome.

LOL 😂

What did Nicholas have to say?

Shocked that I even came home lol thought I would've stayed the night.

Did you tell him it was offered? 🙄

...Yes 😐 then he called me a loser for saying I wanted to take this slow and do it right this time lol

Your face heats up at this text, heart skipping a beat at his confession. Noah's adamant attitude on doing this right made you feel warm all over, and any worries you had left on his intentions flew out the window. You weren't worried about him using you or hurting you again. You knew he was being honest. He was trying. The reminder made your stomach swirl.

Well, I don’t think you’re a loser.

But I do think it's cute how determined you are.

Yeah?

Yeah. Very.

His next message comes about five minutes later and you think that maybe he's fallen asleep, but your phone goes off again.

I'm glad you think it's cute. I was worried you'd think I was making up an excuse because I didn't want to stay. Trust me, I did. Hardest thing I've ever had to do lol

You smile, thumbs flying across your screen.

I think getting out of your car tonight was the hardest thing I've ever had to do 😭 but I get it. Too fast for the first date. We've got time.

Yeah, we do. 🙂

The rest of the night both you and Noah exchanged messages until you fell asleep, a soft smile on your lips and the thought of your next date on your mind.

The next few weeks flew by like a blur. You saw Noah again that next weekend for your second official date, and he left you again with just a kiss and a promise of next time. A second date then turned into a third, and a third turned into a fourth, and then a fifth, and that just turned into seeing each other during the week, until eventually you just stopped calling them dates all together.

It was a weird feeling to have this routine with Noah. During the week, you'd hang out with each other casually. Maybe meet up on your lunch break, or after you get off work going over to his place while he's finishing up whatever studio time he scheduled for that day. You'd lounge on the couch in his studio until he was finished before you ended up on the couch downstairs, curled up against each other as you join him and his roommate for whatever anime they've decided to binge that week. Sometimes he'd come over to yours on a random Wednesday evening, take-out in tow. Like tonight.

You had been texting throughout your work day, complaining about the amount of work your boss had left for you with such short notice. You weren't expecting him to show up after you had gotten home, smiling at you sheepishly when you opened the door. Now here you were, take-out eaten, and the two of you curled up on your couch together.

You're not sure what to even call this relationship between the two of you. You haven't discussed it, and truthfully you haven't even thought much about it. You've just been enjoying your time with him. It was nice, and the urges from your first date were completely forgotten.

Well. Almost forgotten.

In all honesty, you were fine with not having sex. In the beginning when this all began - or rather, restarted - you were scared that your relationship with Noah would only ever be physical. Yeah, there had been casual moments between the two of you before you started hooking up, but for almost two years it was all you would ever do.

You knew why he wanted to do this right this time around and take it slow, because he was thinking the same exact thing as you. Were these emotions based solely on the physical intimacy you both shared or were they actually real?

After weeks of fleeting touches, and lots of kisses that left you breathless, you soon realized there was more to it than just getting in bed together. You realized just how easy it was for you two, how natural it all felt. You liked Noah, and jumping back into bed with him was the last thing on your mind.

Except, well, right now.

You can't seem to stop staring at his hands, watching as they drag lazily up and down your legs. At first it was fine, you're used to his touch at this point, but his hands kept dragging up higher and higher to the point that it made you squirm. The way his fingers would dip into the flesh of your thighs and grip, before rubbing the spot smoothly.

Your mind raced at the familiarity of it, reminding you of the way his hands would roam your thighs before hiking them up on his hips. It felt almost deliberate, but you knew it wasn't. Noah was way too focused on this damn show to even realize what the fuck he wasn't doing to you right now.

You suddenly felt hot. You knew your face was flushed and it's gotten to the point where you have to keep shifting, legs moving against his lap to get into a more comfortable position. Except nothing worked and you were left chronically uncomfortable. There was no solution if Noah kept gripping your thighs like that.

After the fourth time of squirming in your seat, you finally hear Noah calling out your name, a laugh soon following.

"Hello? Anyone there?"

You blink, eyes dragging up from the hands on your thighs to Noah's burning gaze, lips tugged in a small smirk.

"Huh?"

"Said your name like five times, I think." Noah laughs again, his smirk growing. "Where'd you go?"

"Uh. Nowhere." Nice save.

"Nowhere, huh?" You nod. "Then I'm sure you can tell me what's happening now in the show, right?"

"Um." His teasing tone only makes your face hotter and you turn your focus towards the television, eyes squinting. "Well, you see-"

"You have no idea what's going on, do you?"

Your shoulders slump forward defeatedly, turning your head back towards Noah.

"I was thinking, okay?"

"Yeah?" His hands move up and down your legs again and your eyes immediately snap towards them, swallowing down the lump in your throat as his fingers dig into your flesh again. "About what?"

"Jesus, you're asking way too many questions."

"And you're ignoring every single one." His features soften, the smirk now being replaced by a pout. "If you're bored we can watch something else."

"I'm not bored."

"Then what's up? It's like you're barely here."

"I told you, I was thinking. Just in my head, s'all." He gives you an unconvinced look. "I swear! Nothing's wrong."

"Alright, then what were you thinking so hard about?" Your eyes drop to his hands again almost by instinct and you watch closely how they caress your skin. You can't stop the shiver that runs through your body. "...Oh."

You blink back up at him, the softness in his gaze replaced by something else, and a knowing smirk settling onto his lips. Shit. You'd been caught. Your face burns under his eyes and you look anywhere but him, huffing out your response.

"Can you fucking blame me? You're gripping onto me for dear life, dude. Hard to focus on anything else."

Noah laughs. "Sorry?"

"You should be." You grumble, arms crossing over your chest.

"I can’t help myself," His response comes moments later and you finally bravely gaze at him, seeing that his focus was now on his own hands. They run up and down your thighs much slower this time, much more deliberately, and you shivered under his touch again. "Just like touching you, I guess. Didn't even realize I was doing it."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." His eyes flick up to yours and you watch the second they drag slowly down to your lips. "You're always very soft. Feels nice."

You stare at him for a second, much longer than you should, and before you know it you're suddenly settling in his lap. It happens so quickly you don't even realize you're doing it before your lips are sliding across his, your fingers tangling in his hair. You're kissing him like your life depended on it, your whines muffled by his mouth as his fingers grip your hips, dragging you against him as he kisses you back just as desperately.

You tug his hair in response, and his pretty gasp against your lips has you feeling like you're fucking crazy. You need him. You fucking crave him. It's been far too long without this, without feeling him, you suddenly wonder how you've gone this long without it. Your kissing settles down to something less messy, but still deep and so full of emotion, Noah has to pull away to catch his breath.

He stares at you now with wide, glossy brown eyes, and you have to physically restrain yourself from kissing the fuck out of him again.

"Fuck." He whispers under his breath, a chuckle following. You feel his fingers dig into your hips again and you roll yourself against him, his breath hitching. "Oh fuck."

You don't hold back this time, rocking yourself against his lap. Your head dips down to ghost your lips against his cheek and then down his jaw, until you're nestled against his neck. You suck gently against the skin there before pulling back to blow cool air against him, Noah shivering underneath you.

"Shit. Baby, wait." The pet name alone has you seeing stars and you can’t help but ignore him, rocking your hips against him with more speed, lips attaching to his neck again. "Fuck, wait. Wait, wait, wait."

He has to pull you off of him and you barely pay any mind to the noise that leaves you, probably the most pathetic whine you've ever let out in your life. You meet his gaze again to see his eyes are much more blown out than before, and that same glossy look.

“Are you…” He takes a deep breath, eyes fluttering shut before speaking again. “Fuck. Are you sure?”

Your heart tugs at the sincere tone in his voice, concern sketched into his features. Even after weeks you can tell he’s still worried of moving too fast, of doing something you’re uncomfortable with.

“Noah,” You sigh out, fingers carding through his hair absentmindedly. You swear you hear him purr. “I don’t think I’ve ever been more sure in my entire life.”

“…Yeah?”

“Yeah. I’m sure.” You hum out gently, your hands moving from his hair to cup the sides of his face. “Are you sure? If you’re not ready-“

“Fuck, I’m ready. I’m so ready.” He lets out a breathy laugh, and you can’t help but follow suit, thumbs brushing over his cheeks. “I just. I didn’t want to move too fast, you know? I wanted to do it right this time, but…”

His voice trails off and you feel the hands on your hips squeeze gently, fingers digging into you. You make a noise and shift against his lap, gasping soon after when you feel his cock hardening beneath you. God, he wants this just as bad as you.

“I think we’ve done it right.” You all but whisper, head dipping back down. “Don’t you think?”

It takes him a moment to respond, blinking up at you before a smile spreads across his features. His head tilts up just enough to where your lips barely touch, mumbling out, “…I think so, too.”

You don’t respond, just crash your lips to his in another bruising kiss. He groans against your mouth and you feel his hips press up, causing you to grind down against him. He swears, fingers digging into your hips before he pulls back seconds later, eyeing you.

You know that look and sit back in his lap, trying to maintain eye contact while you pull your shirt up and over your head. Noah’s eyes widen, the hands on your hips sliding up to your waist, squeezing.

“Fucking beautiful.” You hear him murmur before he leans back in, this time his lips attaching to your collarbone.

Your head drops back, letting him scatter kisses along your skin. Eyes shutting, your fingers card through his hair and tug hard. The noise he lets out has your entire body shivering, tugging again just so you could hear it one more time.

Your hand drops from his hair to reach behind you, unclasping your bra and letting it fall. Noah swears again, followed by another delicious noise that’s suspiciously similar to a whine, before dropping his head. You gasp at the feeling of both of his lips wrapping around a swollen bud, while you feel his fingers toying with the other.

You feel insane already and he hasn’t even done a damn thing. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since you’ve been intimate with someone, let alone Noah, but whatever it is you hope this feeling never goes away.

He takes his time, switching back and forth between tongue and fingers while you pathetically grind yourself in his lap. You think you could very well come just from this, which is absolutely insane, but you don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in a long fucking time.

Your breath catches in your throat when he suddenly pulls away, gently pushing you off his lap and then onto your back on the couch. The dark look in his eyes as he stares down at you has your lips parting and breath hitching, hands reaching for him.

“Off.” You breathe out, fingers wrapping around the fabric of his shirt and immediately tugging up.

He doesn’t say anything in response, just nods his head before pulling his shirt off. It’s your turn to stare at him with wide eyes, scanning over the tattoos that’s etched across his skin. You almost utter the same words he’d just spoken moments ago, fucking beautiful, but can’t seem to make out any words. Instead you just whine out something incoherent, grabbing for him.

He’s quick to drape himself over you, leaning down to catch your lips in another kiss as his hands roam your body. You instinctively raise your hips up off the couch when you feel his fingers dip into the waistband of your pants. They’re thrown somewhere in your living room, probably with your shirts, but you can’t even think of where the fuck they went when you feel his finger swipe through your already soaked folds.

“Holy shit.” He grits out. “You’re so fucking…”

He doesn’t even get to finish his words, a whine escaping from the back of his throat as he makes his way down your body, slowly working you with his finger. You throw your head back against the arm rest, groaning softly at the feeling of him slowly pushing his finger in.

You whimper out his name, hips shifting down to meet his touch, and you feel his breath against your hip.

“I know, baby.” His voice is rough and he presses a kiss against your hip. You feel his finger curls perfectly, hit that spot that has you shouting out and hands flying down, fingers tangling in his hair. “Fuck.”

It doesn’t take too much longer until he’s able to slip a second finger in with ease, thumb circling around your swollen clit. It’s as if he knows what you need without you asking, already knowing how to work your body. You’re not even sure if you’re saying words at this point, too focused on the way his fingers feel and moving your hips in time with him. It’s overwhelming at how good it all feels.

You whine loudly at the feeling of his fingers parting from you, and Noah shushes you as he works his way back up your body.

“I know, I’m sorry.” He coos out, lips pressing to your neck and then up your cheek, before moving to your lips. “Need to be inside you. Please?”

You arch into him, nodding desperately at his request. “Yes, yes, yes. Fuck. Please.”

With one last kiss to your lips, he pulls away long enough to push his sweats and boxers down. You watch him with hooded eyes, dragging your eyes up and down his body. You absentmindedly bite down on your bottom lip, too dazed off the need for him to even realize he was speaking to you.

“…Hm?” The second call of your name pulls you from your thoughts, staring back up at him.

“Do you have a condom?”

“Fuck.” You hadn’t even thought about it, too caught up in the moment. Your hands come up to cover your face, laughter muffled behind them. “I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“Yeah, neither did I.” Noah laughs along with you and you feel him lean back down, kissing around your hands that covered part of your face. “Bedroom?”

"Mhm." You hum out, hands dropping from your face before turning your head, catching Noah's lips with your own. "...but I'm fine without one, if you are. I don't think I can wait a second longer."

Noah groans against your lips, pulling away only to drop his head down to where your neck and shoulder meet, lips grazing across your skin.

"Fuck. Are you sure?" His hips shift, causing his hardened cock to slip between your slick folds and you both gasp.

"Yes." You whimper, arms wrapping around his neck to keep him there. "I haven’t been with anyone since, and I trust you, just... please.”

“I haven’t been with anyone either.”

He stays there for a beat longer, and you already know the wheels in his head are turning. It’s a risky move, you’re sure he knows that, but God… You don’t think you can go a second longer without him inside you, and the thought of feeling all of him is enough to send your mind racing.

His hips shift again, the head of his cock rocking into your swollen clit and you have to hold back a moan, another desperate “Please,” slipping from your lips.

“You’re going to be the death of me.”

He sits up, hands running down the lengths of your thighs before hiking them up along his hips. You watch with hooded eyes as he wrapped his hand around his cock, giving it a few tugs. The noise that falls from his lips is enough to make you feel desperate, arching off the couch again as you whisper his name.

You needed him now.

You both make a noise similar to a choked whine when he swipes the tip through your folds before finally pushing in, the stretch causing the air to leave your lungs completely. You’ve had him so many times like this before but it still feels all brand new. The groan Noah lets out above you has you pressing up into him, a moan of his name falling off your lips.

"Shit." He groans, head dropping to your shoulder. "Missed this. Missed you. Fuck."

His words echo through your mind and weigh heavy on your chest because you knew that he meant it, wasn’t just saying to save face. He was letting those walls down for you, baring himself and letting you see the real him for a split second. No hiding. Just Noah.

The moment itself is so overwhelming that you catch yourself blinking away the burning in your eyes as you cling to him. You never thought you’d get back to this moment with Noah, and to a place where feelings were mutual. No more running away with the what ifs and second guessing. You both are here now, and that tight feeling in your chest is telling you that it’s fucking real and he’s not going anywhere.

A quiet plea of his name falling from your lips. He lifts his head up to stare down at you, eyes softening when he notices your glossy gaze. His forehead rests against yours and you let out another moan, pressing your chest into his again.

“Say it back. Please.”

“I missed you. I always miss you, Noah.” Is all you can say in one jagged breath, words slurring together.

You think you notice his eyes begin to get glossy, but they’re quickly blinked away and you’re wondering if you had made it up. Instead of responding, Noah tilts his head down to kiss you.

His hips start to move, rocking into you so slowly as your lips slide together. You pull away at a rather hard thrust of his hips, a surprised moan slipping from you as you throw your head back against the arm rest. His head drops to your chest, speeding up his movements.

You stay like that for a moment - your head thrown back in complete bliss as Noah’s mouth moves ever your chest, kissing and licking whatever he could reach. That overwhelming feeling comes back and you’re pulling his head up to you again, whining quietly.

“Noah,” You whimper, lips brushing against his.

“I’m right here, baby.” He hums out, a moan soon following at the feeling of you clenching around him. His hips rock into yours as you try to cling to him, urge to be closer overtaking you. “Not going anywhere.”

You want to say something back, that you know he isn’t, but you can’t get anything out except a low, quiet mewl of his name. The sound of skin against skin fills your ears as Noah snaps his hips against yours, sending you closer and closer to complete bliss. You’re barely even kissing, lips barely touching as you whimper into each other's mouths.

You gasp when you feel his hand slide down between your bodies, fingers brushing over where the two of you met. He finally kisses you the second his fingers press against your swollen clit, your body jolting at the touch.

“Oh fuck.” You cry out the second he pulls away, eyes rolling back.

His forehead presses against your collarbone, eyes dropping to where the two of you met as he gave another hard, shallow thrust. You chant his name like a fucking prayer as his fingers speed up, and you can tell the end is almost near.

“Wanna feel you.” He whimpers out, nuzzling his face back against your neck. “Fuck. I… I need to feel you. Baby, please.”

It doesn’t take much longer, combined with the feel of his cock and rough fingers against your clit you find yourself shouting his name moments later. Your orgasm hits you like a ton of bricks and you barely even register the animalistic noise you make, body arching further into his. You hear Noah hiss against your skin, your cunt sparking around his cock and fingers digging deep into his shoulders as you ride out your high.

You don’t know where you start or where you end, don’t even know if you actually did, aftershocks hitting your body even well after Noah pulled out and fisted his cock. You watch with hooded eyes as he spills his release over your stomach, a quiet cry of your name leaving him.

Exhaustion and pure bliss fill your every sense, and you don’t even notice Noah leaning forward and pressing a kiss to your forehead. You also don’t notice him leaving, eyes fluttering open when you feel the weight of the couch shift and something warm drags across your stomach, and then between your thighs.

You think he’s going to get up again but he doesn’t, instead laying the towel on the floor beside the couch and mumbling something about getting it later. He drapes himself over top of you again and instinctively you cling, arms wrapping around him to pull him closer to you.

His face nuzzles back against the crook of your neck and your hand finds a home in his hair, carding through it slowly.

“Thank you.” Noah hums out after a moment, the feeling of his lips brushing against your skin making you shiver.

“For what?”

“For giving me another chance.” His voice is so small, so quiet, you barely hear it muffled against your neck, but you do.

That burning feeling is back in your eyes and you try to blink it away, thanking whatever higher power that Noah can’t see your face right now. You scratch at his scalp gently and turn your head, lips brushing against his hair.

“Well… Thank you for trusting me.”

You think your words catch him by surprise when you feel him still in your arms, but then melts back against your chest. You don’t think it’s possible but he somehow presses himself closer to you, and the weight of him on top of you brings a sort of comfort that you’re never going to get used to.

You think you should get up, maybe drag him to the shower with you and then get right back in bed, but the silence right now is nice. You let yourself bask in it with Noah for just a moment longer, scratching at his scalp again. He makes a noise, something soft and happy, and in that moment you’re happy that you gave him another chance, too.

[dsireland86]

Anonymous asked:

Can you do a little something about Bad omens, they are playing truth or dare and maybe Noah has to take a body shot off reader that leads to more? If you feel comfortable writing about it ofc! 🤍

So, stupid tumblr app decided to be dumb again and posted this story before it was finished, so I had to pull it and redo it. Also, it strayed from the original concept and plot, because this is what came to mind when I started writing. I'm sorry!!!!! Hope yall like the fixed version. It's a lot better and a little dirty. Sorry... my mind went too far with Noah body shots 🤯

Truth or Dare

Tag list:

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @thisbicc @lacy1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @mrsnoahsebastian @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @rumoured-whispers @myownthoughts12 @sister-sebastian @missduffsblog @bngurngheart  @somebodyllelse @xxkittenkissesxx @dizzylmwahh @kenjipepsi1 @blackveilomens @chey-h @disappearintothegrey @jilliemiw86 @pathion @fear-its-beauty @an0mallly @potterheadquinn @flowery-mess   @bloody-spades

The music was too loud for Noah. He had a pounding headache and was exhausted from the six week run in the U.K they’d just got back from. Day's after returning home, the band's management team insisted on throwing a welcome home party to celebrate the biggest headliner the band had done to date and a number one single. So, he was playing nice and pretending he was enjoying the party. Noah hated it and he was miserable.

"Can you at least look like you're having a good time," Matt complained walking over to meet him. "He can't help it that he has a resting bitch face, Matt. Go easy on him." Noah scowled at Jolly, who just simply smiled. "I want to go home," Noah whined, falling down onto a nearby couch. "I feel you," Folio agreed, sitting down next to him. "Why did you agree to this, shit, Matt?" Noah pouted. "Hey my hands were tied, dude. I wasn't really given an option here. Believe me, I'd rather be somewhere else," "Yeah, like held up in his house watching Grey's Anatomy," Jolly chuckled, pulling his long hair back into a bun. "Don't be hating on my show," Matt muttered, checking his phone. "Great. I've got to go meet upper management. Fuck this shit," turning around and walking away as the others just stayed back, laughing.

Folio sat his beer down on the table and removed his hat to scratch his head. "Poor Matt. He suffers so much for us." "Yeah! He'd better. We make him a lot of money," Noah stated, crossing his arms.

Nicholas came walking over the couches, munching on a banana. The other three just stared at him.

"What the hell, Ruffilo?"

Nick looked over at Jolly. "What?" he shrugged.

"Where at a high class party with caviar and shit and all you can find to put in your mouth is a banana?" Jolly criticized.

"Yeah.Caviar is gross and nothing else looks good," staring at a group of giggling girls that walked by him. Nick just shook his head.

Noah laid his head back, pinching the bridge of his nose, when another group of girls came over to them, dressed as if they were looking to get some. Jolly's eyes widened and Folio just pulled his hat down a little lower.

"Excuse me, we need some help," one of the girls asked, her words partially slurring.

Noah raised his head, slowly, instantly regretting he did.

"Sure. What do you need," he replied, reluctantly.

The girls looked at one another, whispering in the other's ear and giggling.

"It's our friend's birthday, and we're trying to get her to do body shots by playing Truth or Dare, but she's refusing. So, we thought that if we could find some really hot guys, she'd change her mind."

Noah looked over at Jolly, begging him with his eyes to come help. Jolly just hid his grin and shook his head, no.

"I, uh, I don't think I'm qualified," "Do you have chest hair or anything around your belly button area?" one of the girls asked. "What! That’s random." "Lift your shirt up. Let me see," one of the girls ordered.

"No!" "Noah, stop being a pansy and just show the girl your chest. It won't kill you," Jolly blurted out, earning him a heated scowl from Noah. "Will you leave me alone if I do?" Noah fumed at the girl who was about to cause him to snap. "I don't know yet. Show me and I'll tell you."

Noah sighed heavily, lifting his shirt.

"I can't see. You have to lift it higher."

Noah growled, glaring over at Jolly who was fighting his laughter. 

"You're dead, Karlsson," Noah threatened.

Noah lifted a little higher, hating that he was degrading himself this way.

"You're perfect! Come with me," she ordered, grabbing Noah's hand and yanking him off the couch. She and her friend drug Noah behind them as he tried to fight the grip they had on him.

"Hey you two have let me go, like right now!" Noah demanded.

They led him to another part of the venue and into a room filled with more people and louder music that was about half the size as the one they'd just come from

When his eyes landed on her, Noah almost couldn't breathe. She was so damn pretty and had a smile that could soften even the hardest heart. She was wearing a cowboy hat and a sash that read "Birthday Girl," and the moment she turned and looked at him was the moment his life changed forever.

"We found one," the two girls that drug him over told her.

The girl looked from her friends around the table to Noah, obviously very confused.

"What are you talking about? Found one what?"

She shyly looked over at Noah and smiled.

"A fucking hot guy with tattoos that you can take your first body shot off of the next time you spin a dare."

The girl groaned and threw her hands over her face.

"No! Oh god, please tell me you didn't just go out there and hunt down some random guy to bring over here to play a stupid high school game!"

The two girls were about to protest, but Noah beat them to it.

"No! Actually, I wanted to come. They said it was your birthday, so I thought I'd come over and hang for a little bit."

The girls grew quiet, laughing amongst themselves.

"I'm Noah," he introduced himself, leaning in a lot closer than he meant to. He could smell her skin, the scent of rainwater bamboo engulfing his senses.

"Y/N," she replied. Noah smiled, and all Y/N could think was, "Oh shit."

Noah was hot. His lean frame, covered by a white hoodie, towered over her. She would’ve given anything to touch his body, to dig her nails into his flesh and grip the arms that would hold her down, and run her fingers through his short, anime style haircut. Looking down at his hands, Y/N noticed how big they were and the tattoos that were drawn over his skin. Telling from the ones on his neck, she assumed he had them in many other places too.

"Are you okay?"

Noah's deep voice pulled Y/N from her thoughts. She smiled, nodding her head.

"I'm fine, sorry."

Noah gave a gentle laugh.

"So, Truth or Dare and body shots, huh?"

Y/N groaned. "Shit. Please ignore my stupid friends, okay. I don't know what possessed them,"

"I think your friends are just trying to help you have a good birthday," Noah interrupted, trying to sound positive in hopes of getting what he was secretly yearning for.

Y/N raised an eyebrow

"Someone's being optimistic." "You don't think so?" "No," Y/N shook her head, looking over at the girls who had just taken shots of something. "They always have hidden motives."

Noah reached over and brushed her fingers with the tips of his, hoping to pull that beautiful smile out of her again. This behavior was totally out of character for him. Noah never allowed his feelings for someone he'd just met to affect him the way he was allowing them to right now, and it was only a matter of time before the girl in front of him said or did the wrong or right thing that would make him snap.

Y/N shivered the moment she turned and faced Noah. The heat that spilled from his gaze was enough for her to feel internally, forcing her to clench the muscles of her sex as her arousal soaked her panties.

"Hidden motives are a dangerous game to play," Noah pointed out, unable to look away from the heated look in Y/N's eyes that was causing his dick to harden the longer he continued staring. "It's better to just be truthfully honest and up front, if you don’t, don't you think?"

Y/N swallowed hard, a small smile twitching her lips.

"I do."

The tension between them was thick and sweet, like honey. They way she peered up at Noah through her lashes shot through him like a bullet headed straight for his semi-hard length.

"Hey! Are you playing?"

Noah and Y/N looked over at the table where a group of her friends were crowded, the one yelling at them holding an empty beer bottle. Y/N hesitated before looking at Noah.

"You really don't have to do this. I know this isn't the ideal situation for you, and you have no idea who any of these people are."

"I'll do it." "Really?" Y/N asked, surprised.

"Yeah. It's your birthday, and anything here has to be better than what I was having to suffer through over there,” flicking his head in the direction where he came from. 

Y/N gave Noah a small smile. "Okay, well, if you're sure." "I'm sure," Noah replied, giving Y/N a tight-lipped smile.

This group of friends was nothing like Noah's group of friends. He gave up drinking and the party life years ago, trading it in for video games, movies and anime nights with his friends. This wasn't his scene, and he was starting to believe it wasn't hers either. They watched the bottle spin over and over, going through four people before it was finally Y/N's turn. Praying hard for a miracle that it wouldn't land on a dare, she was severely disappointed when it did. But with only one look at Noah, her perspective changed quickly. Noah wasn't surprised when her friends dared her to take body shots off of him. It was the reason for the grin on his face. The first one that happened was awkward for him to do with everyone watching, but he kept his eyes on Y/N, doing his best to block everyone else out. Standing in front of her, wondering if their night together was really over that quickly, Noah acted on impulse and closed the slight gap between the two of them. Lifting Y/N's chin, his eyes darted between hers and he saw the very thing he was looking for flash across them.

"I can't believe you're letting me do this again," Y/N grinned, watching Noah remove his hoodie this time. "It's your birthday, Pretty Girl. Birthday girls always get what they want,” Noah stated, lying back on the two tables that had been pulled together.

With a bottle of tequila in one hand and a dish of limes in the other, Y/N sat them down on the table next to the salt. Noah kept his eyes locked on her, watching every expression her face made. Taking a risk, he reached over, underneath her mini skirt, and slid his hand between her things hearing the small, slight gasp that quickly turned into a whimper. Noah raised an eyebrow, clenching his jaw as his huge hand grasped the inside of her thigh tighter before moving a little further up. Y/N didn't stop him, but instead, moved closer to keep their moment more discreet.

"Your thighs are so fucking soft and warm," Noah praised. His big soft hand with their long fingers slowly ran up and down her skin, making her shiver. “I wonder what would happen if I did this,” brushing fingertips over her throbbing hearted sex.

The slight buck of her hips gave Noah the response he wanted. His infectious smile returned to his lips, making Y/N hungry to taste them.

"You're playing dangerously, Noah," Y/N warned.

"I asked you if you wanted to," he replied, lifting his shirt high enough for her to take her first shot. “So, are you?”

Y/N opened the tequila and slowly poured it into Noah's belly button, being as careful as she could be. Noah's stomach muscles flinched causing his skin to prickle and she wondered if it would have the same response if she were to go down on him right then. She wanted to find out, especially when she noticed how hard he was. It took a lot of restraint to not touch him

"See something you like?"

"I see a lot that I like," she grinned, taking a lime slice from the bowl and bringing it to Noah's lips.

His hand remained between her thighs, as he continued caressing her skin, slowly, giving Y/N a pleasured feeling that set her nerves on fire. She parted her legs a little more, giving Noah more access to her sweet spot.

"Open," she ordered and Noah obeyed, biting down gently on the green rind. Pushing his head to the side, Y/N poured the salt onto his painted skin and ran her tongue over it, over the faded green leaves that rested just below his jaw. It pulled a deep throated growl from Noah and clenched the inside of her thigh. Y/N moaned from the feeling, knowing fully well there would be a bruise there by morning. Quickly, with the salt still on her tongue, she moved to Noah's lower half, sucking the liquor straight from his navel until every bit of it was gone before moving to his mouth and taking the lime. Noah watched with lust filled eyes as she sucked the juice from the rind, tossing the table when she was finished.

"What?" Y/N asked, noticing the look on his face as she returned to her normal height. "Shit," Noah breathed, half-smiling. "I think that had to be one of the hottest things I've ever seen."

Y/N giggled.

"Well, it sounds like you haven't seen a lot." "Oh, I've seen plenty."

Noah moved his hand higher up her thigh, waiting for her to stop him, and when she didn't, he ran his fingers over her pussy.

"Your panties are moist, pretty girl. Do I make you wet?"

Y/N whimpered, biting her lower lip.

"What if I did this?" swiping over her clit. "Noah," she gasped, gripping the table.

Noah laughed, soft and low.

He sat up, throwing his legs over the side of the table, and pushed her panties to the side, pressing the pad of his finger lightly between her folds. He made a sound that was almost inhuman, swallowed up by the newfound warmth he'd discovered. His fingers rubbed gently at first, pulling tiny gasps from her lips as his tongue and teeth marked faint lines across her skin as he made his way towards the bottom of her throat.

"Damn, you're so fucking wet; so tight. God, baby. You're sweet little pussy feels so good," Noah muttered.

Y/N could hear the excitement and the tiny crack that followed in his voice. She sighed, closing her eyes and absorbing the feeling of Noah's sensual assaults inside her. She didn't care if this was wrong. She didn't care if people could see. All she cared about was if Noah was capable of making her cum.

Moaning the moment Noah slid two fingers up inside her, Y/N raised her head, looking up at him. Noah was gone, lost in the moment just as much as she was. He hummed, satisfied with the feeling of her tight pussy already clenching around his fingers that thrusted deeper and deeper each time feeding the array of quiet moans that escaped her lips the harder she worked herself against his hand.

"I want you to take another shot off me," Noah ordered.

"Mmm, I can't, not while your fucking me like this," Y/N protested, keeping her eyes locked on him.

"Yes you can. Just try it. You'll like it, I promise," Noah grinned.

Y/N's stomach fluttered as her heart beat faster. Doing what she was told, she salted his neck and instead of putting the tequila in his navel, she poured it into the small spot between the two bones at the bottom of his throat, right below his adam's apple. Noah slowed his movements as Y/N rose to the tips of her toes, licked the salt and lapped up the liquor, grabbing the lime from Noah's teeth.

"Fuck that's hot," he confessed, kissing her forehead. He could feel her legs trembling, her body starting to shake and even though she was making being a gentleman about the whole thing difficult, he refused to be apathetic.

"Come here," he whispered gently, returning to the soft thrusting of his fingers against her inner walls, taking his time to completely undo every tensed muscle in her body.

Y/N scooted closer, lifting on her toes to give more access and placing her hands on Noah's thighs for balance.He pulled her in and pushed her head down, allowing her to rest her forehead against his shoulder.

"Stay with me, baby. Keep your hands on me. I've got you," Noah encouraged her, wrapping his free arm around her and holding her as close as he could. Y/N gasped and moaned, clawing at the fabric beneath her hands as Noah took them to another dimension. They were no longer where they had been. They were somewhere else; just the two of them.

"Oh, god!" "God isn't here, pretty girl, I am. And it damn well better my name on those lips when you cum," Noah growled

He held Y/N to him with one arm while using his free hand to thrust up into her. Her back arched, and she allowed her head to fall back as Noah latched on to her throat. He bit down, sucking the saltiness of her skin off .

"Noah, this is dangerous. What if someone sees," Y/N panicked, making a poor attempt at getting out of Noah's grasps. "I don't fucking care if they do. I just want you, I need you to cum for me, baby. Give me the satisfaction of pushing you over the edge."

Y/N couldn't deny the hungry desire for her she saw in Noah's eyes. It was feral, and all she wanted to do was feed it. Pushing her hips forward, she gripped Noah's shoulders and worked her pussy against his hand, right before he slipped in a third finger. A low curse left her lips as she bit the lower one to cover a moan.

"You're going to cum for me, aren't you, pretty girl?"

Her pussy clenched around his fingers and soft whimpers replaced any words she wanted to say.

"God damn, yeah, that's, baby, ride my hand," Noah coaxed her, paying close attention to Y/N's body and the signs it was giving him. "You like that, don't you? You like me fucking your wet, needy cunt with my fingers like this, twisting them inside you. Tell me you do," he breathed, trying to ease the urgent need to cum himself "I do! Fuck, Noah, I shouldn't, but I do really like it."

Her abdomen was on fire, her head spinning from the overwhelming coiled tension building in her lower back. Her breathing was shallow as her quiet moans started to draw closer together, and her head fell back, closing her eyes. Noah wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, lifting her head.

"Eyes on my pretty girl. Watch me when you cum. I need to see the look in your eyes when you cum all over my hand," he ordered, breathing heavily.Y/N nodded "I can feel you squeezing my fingers," he whispered, ghosting his lips over hers. Y/N tilted her head in hopes of capturing them, but failed. "Noah, I'm about to cum!" she gasped once Noah found that spot."Right there?" "Mmm-hmm, don't stop, please don't stop!" "I won't as long as you keep your eyes on me," he promised. And she did.

Pressure built in Y/N's lower half, the ache strengthening with every thrust of Noah's fingers or the swipe of his thumb over her clit and in a matter of seconds her walls fluttered around his fingers, her climax reached its peak, and her orgasm crescendo throughout her entire body.

"Oh god, Noah," she cried into her hand before she collapsed onto his chest.

"There it is, that's a good girl. I can feel your cum dripping down my wrist, baby. Fuck!"

"What's wrong?"

Noah took a deep breath through his nose, trying to keep it together.

"I'm about to fucking cum!" he growled through gritted teeth.

Y/N wasted no time. Grabbing the front of Noah's pants and briefs, she pulled as Noah lifted his bottom and released enough of his thick, swollen cock right as the milky white liquid shot all down the front of her skirt. Noah groaned, resting his forehead against hers.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck! "I'm so fucking sorry, Y/N," he swore over and over, chest rising and falling rapidly as he covered himself up, but Y/N was only laughing quietly.

"Don't be,' she replied breathlessly, looking into Noah's eyes. She pulled back and brushed the hair out of his eyes before kissing his forehead."We both got what we wanted."

Noah grinned. Reaching over, he grabbed the tequila, salt, and limes.

"What are you doing?" "It's my turn. Lay your head back," he commanded, and Y/N obeyed, feeling as if her heart was about to beat out of her chest.

Noah repeated the same steps as she did when taking the shot off of his neck and swallowed quickly, trailing his lips with a little bit of tongue up her neck, kissing as he went over her jawline and took the lime from her mouth. Y/N could only give small exasperated moans as her eyes met Noah's. They were dark, full of an eagerness for more.

"Yum," he smirked, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Happy Birthday, pretty girl." Y/N just shook her head, smiling.

They found a bathroom where Noah was able to clean his happy accident off the front of Y/N's mini skirt. Neither one spoke, both of them either too embarrassed, ashamed, or sad from everything that had happened or was about to. Maybe it was all three. Walking around the corner of the bathrooms, Noah's phone vibrated. It was a text in the band's group chat asking where he was. He texted back that he was coming, then pocketed his phone.

"So, uh, thanks for the really awesome birthday gifts," Y/N teased.

Noah felt his ears and cheeks instantly heat up, forcing him to rub the back of his neck like he normally did when he got embarrassed.

"Yeah," he laughed, dropping his gaze to the floor.

"Seriously," reaching out and touching Noah’s arm, assuring him she was.

Noah locked eyes with Y/N, desperately aching to kiss her. She was so pretty, with a sweet smile and the kind of laugh he could get used to hearing a lot of. But deep down, he knew that wasn't going to happen

"I gotta go. Gotta get back to my friends..."

"Yeah," Y/N laughed nervously, "of course."

"Do, uh, is there any chance I could have your number?"

There was an awkward silence.

"Um, Noah, I,”

"Oh god, I'm sorry, you're don't, er, you're not, shit, never mind," Noah stuttered, apologizing quickly.

"No, no, it's not like that, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that, well, I just shouldn't," Y/N stated, peering up at him.

That's Noah realized, that was Y/N's way of letting him down gently. His pocket vibrated, saving his heart from realizing what his head had just figured out. Matt was freaking out. He really had to go, now.

"Right," he slowly nodded, suddenly feeling like the biggest fool around. "I'm gonna go. My band's about to receive some kind of an award, so I've got to hurry."

"Your band? Wait… what?"

"Yeah, anyway, it was really nice to meet you and I hope the rest of your birthday is great," he yelled, turning around and running in the opposite direction as Y/N called his name from behind him.

"Dude, where the fuck have you been?" Matt scolded.

"It's a long story. I'll tell you later."

"Hey," Jolly called, tapping Noah on the shoulder. "How did it go? Was the friend nice?"

Noah remained silent for a moment, wondering how to put into words all that had happened. There weren't enough and there never would be.

"Yeah," was all he could say with a smile. "She was pretty nice. It was fun, for the moment," shrugging his shoulders.

Jolly chuckled, patting his friend on the back as they followed Nick and Folio out to where their managers were standing. The guests cheered and whistled, cameras flashed, and hands were shaken as the guys were awarded and congratulated with a number one single award from one of the biggest music companies in the country. Noah looked out into the faces of all those cheering for him and his best friends, eyes stopping when they came in contact with a pair he recognized instantly.

Y/N's mouth was wide open as she stood in the crowd looking at the man whom she had just shared a very intimate moment with and nobody but the two of them knew. She was with somebody, making Noah's heart instantly fall into the pit of his stomach. He'd just fingerfucked some other guy's girl, making him feel low and dirty. The guy turned around, and Noah recognized him instantly. He was a friend in the business who worked for the record label. The guy looked from him to Y/N, and Noah watched as he gently shook her to get her attention. Reluctantly, Y/N tore her eyes away from Noah and exchanged a few words with the guy glancing at him one more time, before walking off with her face in her hands. His friend shrugged, waving to Noah, before turning to follow after Y/N. Noah smiled softly to himself, knowing it wasn't going to be the last he’d ever see her again. 

[runningincircl3s]

Blood Sport

Noah Sebastian x Reader

Chapter Two

chapter warnings: mentions of drinks (although never stated as alcoholic?)

happy friday!! i did NOT expect this story to get so much love so far, i can't believe it?? seriously thank you so much!! i'm hoping it lives up to it's expectations as it's been so so fun to write, i've definitely fallen back in love with writing and i think this story will certainly reflect that <3

also, like with nothing ever after, i thought i'd share my playlist for this story! i wanted to make it fit with the chapters but nope it is an unorganised mess, and i will still be adding to it as i write more! but anyways are we ready to face noah again...

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

You adjusted the strap of your dress in front of Matt's hallway mirror, trying your best to ignore the anxiety crawling up your spine. This wasn’t supposed to be difficult, not for you. Matt and Alyson were getting married, and you were invited to celebrate with them. It's not like this was your big day. So it should be simple, right?

Except everything about this felt complicated. Besides Bryan (and now Matt and Folio), you hadn’t seen any of the guys in the band since last year, so you were worried about how they'd react, especially Noah. You couldn't even think about him without your chest tightening, so the thought of seeing him again had your heart beating faster than you were comfortable with.

However, you pushed all these thoughts to the back of your mind, attempting to focus on the task at hand.

“Are you ready?” You asked Matt, before helping him adjust his tie.

“As ready as I can be.”

You chuckled, smoothing down the fabric of his jacket, admiring the way he looked in his suit.

“You look great. Alyson’s going to lose it when she sees you.”

Matt smiled, but there was a hint of nervousness in his eyes.

“I just… I don’t want to mess this up, you know?”

You paused, giving him a reassuring look.

“You’re not going to mess anything up. You love her. She loves you. That’s all that matters.”

He met your gaze, his usual confidence had been replaced by anxiety, but he still put on his best smile.

“I’m lucky, huh?”

“Very.” You agreed softly, your smile turning a little bittersweet as your mind brought you back to somebody. 

Noah. 

How, if things were different, he would've been here with you. You could've been attending your best friends wedding together.

But instead, you almost felt like you shouldn't be going. He surely wouldn't want to see you again, how would he react to you turning up to his best friends wedding?

Matt seemed to notice you drift away into thought, so he cleared his throat.

“Alright, enough of this sentimental stuff. We've got a wedding to get to!”

As he turned toward the door, you called out.

“Wait, Matt. You’re forgetting something.”

He suddenly spun back around.

“I am?”

You dug into your bag and pulled out a small box, handing it to him.

“A little something I got you for good luck.” You said with a wink.

"Good luck?" He raised an eyebrow, "Isn't this just for the bride?"

"Well, not this time." You chuckled, watching him inspect it.

Matt opened the box, revealing a small silver keychain with a tiny plush raccoon hanging from it.

“You know me too well.” He grinned, tucking it into his pocket. “Thanks, y/n. Seriously. You were the first person I told when I thought about proposing, you’ve been a part of this since day one. Even if it's tough for you... I’m really glad you’re here.”

You smiled, feeling that familiar lump at the back of your throat.

“Wouldn’t have missed it for the world.”

As Matt stepped out, you couldn’t help but think back to when you first met the guys, and how so much had changed, but so much had stayed the same.

You still remember when Matt first met Alyson, he had told you it was love at first sight, which made it even more difficult for him to ask her out on their first date, fearing she'd say no and he'd spend the rest of his life alone.

And now here they were, all these years later, on their wedding day.

Something in the air felt different this afternoon as you stepped out of the house into the warm sun. For the first time in months, you felt hopeful. You were starting to feel like maybe you were ready for you own next step, whatever that might be.

Maybe it was time to make a profile on some dating apps.

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

Your anxiety was sky high when you wandered through the venue, knowing he would be there somewhere. The venue itself was beautiful, the colour theme was red and cream, with touches of black, so all the decorations were set out to match. 

You took a deep breath, smoothing your dress as you scanned the room, your eyes landing on Jolly. 

You felt a relief wash over you at the familiar face, so you began to walk over to greet him and Nicole. 

“Hi!” You grinned, noticing their surprise as they turned around to see you. 

“Oh my God, y/n!” Nicole wrapped her arms around you, embracing you in a warm hug as Jolly chuckled. 

“Let her breathe, ‘Cole.” 

“Sorry,” she laughed, “You look so beautiful… How have you been? Jolly kinda told me about the... Situation…” 

“I’m okay,” you said, forcing a smile, “Just a little nervous about seeing him again. But that’s not what todays for, it’s Matt and Alyson’s big day and I won’t let him ruin it.”

“So how long have you been back?” Jolly asked, sliding an arm around his girlfriend's waist.

“I got here a couple days ago, I’m staying with Matt at the moment, but me and Folio are actually looking to find a place together around here!” 

Their faces screwed up, a look of horror washing over them.

“You and Folio…?!”

“As friends, Jesus!” You laughed, “He wants to get out of Noah’s place, and I’ve got to be out of my place by the end of the month, so you might be seeing a whole lot more of me.” 

“That’s great!” Nicole smiled.

“I’m sure Noah would agree.” Jolly smirked, before Nicole gave him a look, making him apologise. 

“So… Is he here?” You asked. 

“By the bar,” Jolly nodded, “I can’t believe he brought her.” 

Your chest burned, turning back to look at Jolly.

“Her?”

“You don’t know about Amy?” 

“No?” 

“Shit,” he ran his hand through his hair, “She’s this girl he’s kind of... Dating. I thought one of the guys would've told you.” 

“Why should they? What he does doesn’t concern me anymore,” you said, as if you were trying to convince yourself, “He can do whatever he wants.” 

Then, as you looked away again, you spotted him by the bar.

Noah.

It was like the air shifted the moment you spotted him. 

He stood leaning against the bar, a drink in hand as he spoke to Ruffilo. The sharp black suit he wore fit too well, his dark hair parted in the middle, falling over his eyes perfectly like it always did. 

He was still Noah. Still the stupid, hot bastard.

And then, as if he felt you staring, he looked up.

The moment your eyes met, the world around you quietened.

His posture stiffened ever so slightly, fingers tightening around his glass. For a moment, neither of you could look away. You noticed the look of surprise in his eyes, he clearly didn’t expect to see you here. 

You’d spent the weeks leading up to today trying to prepare for this, but nothing could have braced you for actually seeing him again. Especially when he looked this damn good.

Then, just as quickly as the moment arrived, it shattered.

A perfectly manicured hand curled around his arm, and a girl leaned her head on his shoulder. 

So that must be Amy.

She was stunning, the type of beauty that would make you turn your head on the streets. Everything about her was flawless, her hair, her dress, her makeup- if you didn’t know better, you’d think she was the one getting married today.

And suddenly, you felt small.

“Everything okay?” Jolly asked softly, snapping you out of whatever was going on in your mind. 

You swallowed hard, willing away the tightness in your chest as you nodded. 

“Yep... Never been better.” 

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

As you all began to get into your places for the actual ceremony, you caught Folio, dragging him by the arm to the corner of the room. 

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell me about Amy?” You raised an eyebrow, trying to keep your voice down. 

“I wasn’t sure how…” He explained, “They’re nothing serious, I didn’t even know she’d be here today. Fuck, I don’t even know how she is, she wasn’t invited!” 

"Nothing serious? Nick, Jolly told me they're dating!"

"Okay, maybe they are..."

“How long?”

“Huh?” 

“How long have they been together?” You said through gritted teeth, trying to keep your composure.

“...A few months.” 

You nodded your head.

You had no reason to be upset, angry or even jealous. He wasn’t yours anymore, he was never really yours to begin with. 

Your eyes drifted over to them, chatting by the front row. You watched the way her hand brushed his arm, the way he smiled down at her, looking at her like she was the only person in the room. 

You don't care. You shouldn't care. Why did you care?

“I’m sorry,” you said, shaking your head, “I shouldn’t care anymore, should I?” 

Nick’s expression softened, and he frowned as he took your hand in his. 

“You loved him… There’s no stronger feeling than that. If it was really real, you can’t expect to just make it stop.”

“I guess,” you sighed, your gaze catching a very stressed out Matt pacing the floor, “I guess we better get in our places.”

“Yeah,” Folio smiled, dropping your hand, “Good idea.” 

The two of you walked down to your seats, and you were glad to see you were in between the two Nick’s. 

“Oh, Nick!” You grinned as you greeted him, “I’ve missed you so much.” 

His arms pull you in to a warm hug as he stands up. 

“Hey! It’s so good to see you again… I missed you too, what happened?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, pulling away. 

“I get why you’d stop talking to Noah, but us too?”

“I didn’t think you guys would ever want to talk to me again,” you frowned, “I’m sorry.” 

“Of course we'd still want you in our lives, it'd be weird without you," he chuckled, "We all make mistakes, y/n."

“Yeah, some worse than others.” You sigh, sitting down in your seat. 

Your eyes meet Noah's again as you look up, like he had already been watching you. Your breath caught and you felt your face heat up as you quickly diverted your vision, and he did the same.

"We didn't tell him you were coming," Nicholas explained, "He asked me about you last night, I had to lie and tell him I didn't know if you'd be here."

“I’m starting to think I shouldn’t be.”

✦•······················•✦•······················•✦

The reception was beautiful, warm string lights draped across the garden of the venue, casting everything in a soft, golden glow as the sun began to set. You tried your best to enjoy yourself, talking with your friends, having a few drinks, meeting some of Matt and Alyson's other friends. You wanted tonight to be fun, for you all to look back with happy memories of it. But one thing made that difficult.

One person. 

You had done your best to avoid Noah all evening, but it was impossible to ignore his presence, the sound of his voice, his laughter over the music. Even when you weren't looking, you could still feel he was there. You tried to keep your eye on him to make sure you didn't come face to face unexpectedly. 

You had made it through the first hour unscathed.

Then, you slipped up.

You approached the bar for another drink, forgetting that he had been standing just a few feet away.

You noticed Amy had left early, as Noah was alone for most of the night, and through Jolly, you had learned the details of their relationship. She was a model and a wannabe singer who had reached out to Noah for help writing a song. Instead of making music, they clearly made something else.

You weren’t sure who moved first, but somehow, you both ended up side by side at the bar. Close enough that you could smell his cologne, the smell that was once comforting now filled you with nerves.

Noah barely glanced at you as he leaned against the counter, fingers drumming against the wood while he waited for his drink.

“You look…” He started but then stopped, shaking his head.

You slowly turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

“I look?”

“Never mind.” He scoffed, bringing his glass to his lips. “Forget I said anything.”

He exhaled sharply, eyes narrowing like he was annoyed with himself for almost slipping. The words had nearly left his lips, and for a moment he had forgotten how this was supposed to be, how he was supposed to act cold, distant, indifferent.

But you saw it in his eyes as he looked at you, and you heard the way his voice softened as he spoke to you. There was something there that told you he missed you, even if hed never admit it.

You hated how much it made your heart race.

A tense silence stretched between you, filled with all the things left unsaid. The kind that made it impossible to breathe.

Until finally, he broke it.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come today.” His voice was quieter this time.

“Yeah, well… They're my friends too.”

Before you could say anything else, the music slowed and Matt and Alyson’s first dance started.

Everyone turned to watch them sway together beneath the twinkling lights. The moment was intimate, beautiful, and it should’ve been nothing more than that. But standing here, next to Noah, watching two people so in love, it made your heart ache in your chest.

You thought about what you've lost, what you could've had with Noah. How this could've been the two of you one day, but instead you were stood side by side in silence, like you were nothing more than strangers.

You felt his gaze shift to you, and despite yourself, you turned to meet it.

There was something in his expression you couldn’t quite place, softness, maybe, or hesitation. Like he wanted to say something, but knew better.

Your fingers rested against the bar, just inches from his. Your breath hitched when his hand shifted ever so slightly, the smallest movement, like he almost wanted to close the distance. For a moment, it felt like nothing had changed, like the past year had been nothing but a bad dream.

But then reality came crashing back.

He had Amy now. He had clearly moved on.

And so you pulled your hand back.

His eyes flickered downward, landing on the necklace you wore. The one he had given you for your birthday. His lips parted slightly, as if he wanted to say something but couldn’t find the words

"You still wear it?" He asked, almost as if he was in disbelief.

You swallowed hard, your fingers instinctively reaching for the necklace his eyes were fixed on. The one he had given you on your birthday, the day before everything turned to shit.

"I never take it off," you admitted, "I guess... It reminds me of you." 

Without thinking, he reached out, fingertips ghosting over the pendant and gently brushing over your skin, a barely-there touch that sent a shiver down your spine. But the second he made contact, something in him snapped.

His hand recoiled like he had been burned.

Without thinking, he reached out, fingertips ghosting over the pendant, a barely-there touch that sent a shiver down your spine. But the second he made contact, something in him snapped.

His hand recoiled like he had been burned.

He straightened, swallowing hard, his expression closing off as quickly as it had softened. Whatever moment you’d just shared, he crushed it, along with any hopes you had that maybe there was still something between you, that your relationship could be salvaged.

“Enjoy the wedding." He said, voice unreadable, before walking away.

You let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, gripping the edge of the bar to steady yourself.

So that was how it was going to be.

Fine.

You finished your drink and headed back to the table where Nick was sitting with Jolly and Nicole. 

“Everything okay?” He asked, a slight smirk tugging on his lips. 

“Yeah. Why?” You questioned, sitting down beside him. 

“We saw you talking to him… What did he say?” 

You sighed, your eyes drifting away to him, watching how he laughed with his friends. At least he wasn’t hurting anymore, or so you thought. 

Noah, on the other hand, didn’t know how he felt. He had spent so long telling himself he was over you, that he had moved on. But the moment he saw you tonight, he realised that nothing had really changed. 

The feelings were still there.

And he hated himself for it. 

“He said he wasn’t sure I’d come tonight.” You finally say, turning back to Folio. 

“Was that it?” He scoffed, “The way he was looking at you I thought you’d come back and tell us he confessed his undying love-” 

“Nick, leave it, please.” You groaned, watching as Matt and Alyson still danced on the floor, a more upbeat song playing now.

“No. I know there’s something he’s hiding, y/n. The two of you need to talk, you need to-”

“Nick.” You repeated, “Stop. I don’t want to do this tonight. He has a girlfriend now, I need to respect that.” 

Nicole turned to look at you, an almost sympathetic look on her face before she got up, reaching a hand out to you. 

“C’mon, dance with me.” 

“Me?” You laughed, shooting a look at Jolly as if to say it should be you!

“Yes, you! We need to lighten the mood, and I love this song!” She grinned as she pulled you along to the dancefloor. 

Do you believe in life after love…

“You’re lucky I love you!” You grinned, "I wouldn't dance with anybody else!"

"Oh yeah?" She smirked, eyes trailing over to Noah, who seemed to be watching from the corner of his eye.

The two of you danced along, and after Matt left, Alyson joined the two of you. 

“Are you having fun?!” She shouted over the music. 

“We are now!” Nicole smiled. 

“I can’t believe you’re finally married!” You shouted, and Alyson nodded. 

“I know! And to my best friend… If only I could go back in time and tell myself… Things will get better…” You could see her eyes filling with tears, and you quickly wrapped your arms around her. 

“Hey!” You frowned, wiping away her tears, "None of that! This is a happy night!"

Alyson let out a teary laugh, nodding as she hugged you back.

"You're right. I'm just- I'm so happy, I don’t think I’ve ever felt like this before."

Nicole wrapped her arms around both of you, pulling you into a tight embrace as she called for a group hug.  

The three of you danced along to the music together for a moment, and for the first time in forever, you let yourself be happy. You let yourself enjoy the moment, surrounded by your favourite people, your friends that you considered family.

But then, as you turned, your eyes met his again.

Noah was still there, still watching.

His expression was unreadable, but there was something in his gaze that you couldn't quite place. A look of regret? Longing?

You weren’t sure.

And you weren’t sure you even wanted to know.

So, instead of lingering, instead of thinking too much, you turned back to your friends and let yourself laugh and have fun, you let yourself feel like everything was okay.

Just for tonight.

-------------------------------@bloody-spades @death-ofpeace-ofmind @miss570 @dominuslunae @dontwantthemoney @amelia-acero @noahslutbastian @blade-dressed-in-red @super-btstrash-posts @kait16xo @oobleoob @sunshine-lvrr @lacy1986 @enemiestolovershoe @samanthasgone

this is still a new taglist so if i forgot you (IM SORRY) or you want to be added please just let me know!! :)

[jewishbarbies]

since you just talked about noah schnapp, i really wanted to add something because i am in the st fandom and recently i do see some pushbacks (mostly people who are fans of his character) against the bullying and harrassment he is subject to. while i feel relieved about that, i just cannot shake off the unsettling feeling in my gut whenever i see some of those people preface their defense with something along the line of "he was a stupid kid, he made a mistake" or "he is jewish he doesn't know any better".

just yesterday, i saw a post about this issue and these are some of the comments in the reblogs (word for word): "noah was raised jewish and likely adopted the zionist viewpoints from older people around him, which is commonplace in children raised around certain views." "The hate over a then 19 year old being mislead and brainwashed by pro Israel propaganda is absolutely insane" "While his statements did have problematic things in it in my opinion it was more because of ignorance than actual malice and he needed to be educated and not attacked like that"

i'm not sure if it's my place to speak on this because i'm not jewish and i was pretty much ignorant about antisemitism for like the first 20 years of my life. in my country, whenever we talk about jews, it's either in relation to the holocaust (i remember very clearly that it was only a section in a very generalized lesson about ww2 during my history class. we never dived deep into this subject because world history was not really prioritized compared to lessons about our local history) or that jews are smart. hell, i never even heard anyone refer to israel as the jewish state and mostly as a middle east country whose people managed to turn a desert into a habitable thriving land. the last two years have certainly shaken my worldview up a lot and ngl i have grown somewhat hardened over any overt antisemitic remarks and behaviors, but there is something about those comments above that just stucks with me - the way they sound so casual when being dismissive and disdainful towards his Jewish upbringing and belief. i wonder if it's just me being oversensitive these days or that i'm more attune to these casual dismissive acts as i didn't grow up with all sorts of degrading beliefs about jewish people instilled into my brain.

sorry for this incoherent rant. i also happen to be an eurovision fan so seeing the way that fandom treated yuval, then the dc shooting and then this… i just have a lot in my mind and i really don't know how to articulate it coherently. i'm so sorry for what is going on and how the world dismisses Jewish and Israeli people's pain and suffering. no matter what, i'll stand with you guys and words cannot express how much i admire your solidarity, determination, and the amount of attention you guys have towards each and every hostage. love ❤️

no, you’re not over sensitive. those comments are disgustingly antisemitic.

I’m not surprised from the st fandom, given my own horrible experience as a jewish person in that fandom years ago. to my knowledge, Noah has not changed his views in any way, so to say he was “just raised like that” in a sense is way off and disgustingly ignorant. it’s all truly phrased as if being jewish in and of itself is problematic regardless of zionism status.

it’s easier to pick up on these days simply because the bigots have gotten louder, more honest, and doubled in number. they’re not playing coy or saving it for a private gc, they’re just saying exactly what horrible things they think right up front and they’re proud of it.

thank you for your kind words. we really do deeply appreciate anyone who supports us, especially with everything going on.

[hinge]

Hinge presents an anthology of love stories almost never told. Read more on https://no-ordinary-love.co

[thepersonnamedsam]

hello! i was hoping I could request something between gen z reader x the grid where she gets an anxiety attack or gets really anxious during press and how they would react or try to help her, could be due to something about the race or personal, love uuu<3

you’re gonna go far

pairing: the genz!driver x '23!grid

summary: social anxiety and social stuff don’t mix very well

word count: 2.3k

warnings: anxiety attack, angst, sexist comments

note: hiya!! yk i love your requests!! thank u <3

i have social anxiety myself, it’s written from my perspective - anxiety is experienced very different, pls remember that! and pls respect anyone who is experiencing anxiety or any mental disorder that is!

masterlist / taglist

We ain’t angry at you, love, you’re the greatest thing we‘ve lost.

The song blasted through her ears, tears started forming in her eyes. She missed home, so, so much. She felt guilty to leave all her friends and family at home to pursue her dreams. And this song, written by the brilliant Noah Kahan, just always made her cry and think about her hometown.

Well, maybe not always, mostly the days her anxiety sparks up - and today was one of those days. Usually media didn’t stress her out, but today was different. Her mood shifted and hyper sensitive, overstimulated and overwhelmed. And she usually had someone she trusted by her side at media, but not today. Today was just shit.

Paired with Lance, Kevin, Sergio and Niko, she just wished the day would be over. She was just glad that Daniel, Max, Oscar and Lewis would be after her, they would maybe wait for them to finish, so she could see them.

She was trying to help her calm down. Thinking about good possibilities and not bad ones. Not about how she would sit stiff and uncomfortable between Lance and Sergio. Or how she and Niko never really got along. Or how she couldn’t seek refuge in a known face. Or how she had to answer all the questions by herself and not have Max there to defend her and be her bodyguard. 

And she was doing it again.

What was she gonna do? Breath, just breath - that’s what she told herself. She was in desperate need for a break. She knew what she was getting herself into, but it was still so very much. She was glad that Hungary was the second last race before the summer pause. She would go home, maybe vacation a bit, but definitely head home and see her friends and family.

Her feet dragged her through the media pit against her will. She didn’t want to go there, she just wanted to curl up in her bed with a good book and some music. Her headphones still present on her head, at least she had her music.

She was so focused on the words of You’re gonna go far that she didn’t see Lance in her peripheral vision. He patted her on her back and she flinched as he passed her. He gave her a funny look as she just gave him a shy smile.

She sighed, she didn’t know how she could face this day. She wished she had Lewis or Max or Danny by her side, someone to lean on, someone who would protect her and help her out. But she was all alone in this world right now. That’s what she thought at least.

Sat next to her was Kevin and Sergio. Her leg was bouncing, her fingers couldn’t stop picking at her nails. Her breathing was fast. She knew that things would turn out bad pretty fast. She just knew it.

„So, the next question is for y/n. Seeing as you’re the only woman on the grid, do you feel intimidated by all of the men or do you actually like the challenge?“

Her mind raced. What? She wished for Max who would give a sassy comeback or for Lewis to out the comment as borderline sexist. Or just anyone to stand up for her at that moment, but no one did.

„Uh, thank you for your question. Uhm, I am not the only woman on the grid. There are lots of women working behind the scenes - mechanics, engineers, catering, strategists, everything. So, to answer your question, no, I don’t feel intimidated, because I know that I come from a powerful gender.“

Her answer was clip and clear, not even her voice was shaking, which she half expected to. But the interviewer grew visibly irritated.

„Can you go into it a bit more? Or could you please comment on the statement Christian Horner did? Here, I’ll refresh your mind: F1 is bringing in a young generation. It’s bringing in a lot of young girls because of all these great-looking young drivers.“

What had that to do with his question beforehand? Horner made that statement a longer time ago?

„Uhm yes, obviously we all know Christian by now, don’t we?“, she nervously laughed. „But uhm, he is obviously still wrong, like I originally commented when he first made that statement“ Her eyes were searching for something or someone familiar, but she couldn’t. Her vision occupied by interviewers and flashing cameras.

Her breath started to get faster, She tried to breath through her nose, not make it too obvious that she was having a moment. This would make headlines. Female driver gets anxiety attack whilst commenting on sexist statements.

Why wasn’t Lewis there? He knew what to do. He had caught her like this before - breathing rapid, fists clenched and fingers white. Eyes not focusing on anything particular and her chest heaving up and down from all her heavy breathing.

It was after she had found out that people were speculating about her - specifically that she had to sleep with her or any team principal to get her seat in F1. Her head was leaned against the wall, her knees pulled to her chest and her body was rocking back and forth.

„y/n, y/n, listen, look at me. Listen to me, can you please look at me, love?“, he pleaded. And when she finally did, Lewis let out a breath of relief. „Okay, look at me, darling, and follow my breathing, yes? It’s easy, you can do it, I believe in you.“

He grabbed her hands and put them to his own chest, so she could feel his breathing. Feel his calm heartbeat, even though he felt anything opposite calm. He looked her deep into her eyes and tried to reassure that everything was going to be alright.

„You’re gonna go far, y/n, listen to me, I know it, you’re gonna make it far.“

Her breathing had normalised and the tears stuck in her eyes, finally flowed down her cheeks. The soon turned into full on sobs and the older driver hugged the younger one. Embracing her and reassuring her, that none of the drivers would have believed the tabloids - they’ve seen her driving and know very well why she got offered her seat in F1.

She had thanked him about a thousand times and made him promise not to ever tell anyone. But if somebody else knew, maybe they could’ve helped her in this situation.

But luckily for y/n, this was all broadcast live, well, maybe not for her per se, because she knew about too many people were watching her lose herself on live television and her PR manager couldn’t just pull some magic strings to not have this air, but what she didn’t know was, that Seb was watching - her specifically.

And he did the only reasonable thing he could do, he called Lewis.

„Hey dude, what’s up? Haven’t heard from you in a long time. How’s retirement treating you?“ Lewis had a lot of questions for the German. The later laughed a bit, but turned serious pretty quickly. „Listen, I’m watching the pre-race interviews right now-“ Lewis interrupted him: „Yeah? I’m on next, you should definitely wait and see me on TV then.“

„Yeah that’s great Lew, but y/n is on right now. I think- no I’m pretty sure she’s having an anxiety attack on live television.“

Lewis was silent for a moment. „She is having what?“ - „An anxiety attack, you know what that is? It’s, uhm, when you get too overwhelmed and your psyche tells you that you’re experiencing immense fear at the moment and“, Lewis was tuning him out.

She was having an anxiety attack? Right now? During the pre-race interview? He had to help her.

„I’m on my way, thanks Seb“, and he hung up. He had to get there as fast as he could. Sprinting through the entire paddock to the media pin. On the way he almost crashed into Max, who was also making his way to the pin, Daniel by his side. The only looked at Lewis weird but soon we’re running with him, as he shouted: „It’s y/n!“

They arrived but no one wanted to let them in: „It’s not your turn yet, they’re still going. You have to wait until it’s your turn, you’ll be on in 10.“

„Listen, y/n, if you’re reacting this way to my question, you’re clearly not made for this sport, maybe you should go into something more ladylike, like horseback riding or tennis, at least you’d look pretty there.“

„And you’re clearly not made to interviews, asshole!“

All of them heard, the viewers heard, the drivers heard, the interviewers heard, but y/n was the only one who didn’t hear it.

Maybe you should go into something more ladylike, like horseback riding or tennis, at least you’d look pretty there. That was all she could hear. At least you’d look pretty there.

The other drives next to y/n didn’t know what to do. Their colleague was definitely having a though time, but they didn’t know how to help, they opted to just tilt their heads towards the floor and look just as uncomfortable as everyone in the room did - but no one stood up for her, expect Max.

„Maybe you should just fucking leave this pit before I will bash your disgusting face. Maybe you should scramble and flee. Maybe you should eat your on dick as you seem to like to put tiny and degrading things in your mouth. Maybe-“, Daniel stopped him, Max has said enough and made his point.

Lewis was already making his way up to her. Scooping her up and carrying her out of the pit.

At least you’d look pretty.

The sentence was going through her head like a loop, like a vinyl that’s broken and repeats all the worst parts. She felt like a broken record - cracked and well, broken.

„She‘s hyperventilating“, Danial pointed out. „Yeah no shit, sherlock.“ - „Max, let’s just focus on her right now, okay?“, the seven time world champion told the two time world champion. „Who’s garage is the nearest?“, Lewis asked into the round. „The Ferrari one is the first one on the grid“, Daniel said. „Let’s go then.“

Daniel led the way, fetching Lando on the way, she’d appreciate the support from the youngster. Even though he complained a lot to Danny.

„Don’t look, don’t look, we’re just passing through“, Daniel said as he tried to shield her and Lewis from all the cameras in the Ferrari garage. „What are you guys doing here?“, Carlos questioned, but as soon as he saw the crying mess in Lewis‘ arms he helped Daniel shield y/n. Carlos led them to Charles‘ side of the garage, as he had his closed off for anyone from the outside.

„What’s going on?“, a confused Charles asked the group now standing in his garage. „Charles, we need to go somewhere quiet, is that possible?“, Lewis asked the Ferrari driver. He nodded and led them to his drivers room, even though it was pretty tiny and probably wouldn’t fit all of them in it.

They set y/n on his sofa and Lewis was hovering in front of her. Lando sat on her right side, while Max was on her left. He took her hand in his, squeezing it, so she knew that he was there. „Hey y/n look at me. We’re in Charles‘ drivers room, in the Ferrari garage. Away from the media pit, okay? You’re safe with us now“, Lewis told her. „Breath with us.“

„In and out, just like that, darling, follow Lewis‘ breathing“, Daniel complimented y/n. „You’re doing great, shatje. So, so great. We’re all so proud of you.“

„You can let it all out, we won’t judge you“, Charles told her and just as he did, the dam broke. Her tears fell down onto her knees, she sobbed uncontrollably. She leaned her head on Landos shoulder and he pulled her close into his side. „You’re doing so well, love.“ - „Just keep breathing, don’t forget to breath“, Carlos told her. He was standing in the doorway with Charles, acting as bodyguards.

Danny walked around the room, trying to find something for y/n to drink out of. „Hey Charles, do you have some water or a bottle?“ The driver clad in red reacted fast and brought the Australian a tall glass of water. He brought y/n the glass and she had to stop crying to drink. Afterwards she got the hiccups. „There, there love, everything’s okay“, Lewis took her glass and patted her knee. „Remember what I told you? You’re gonna go far, okay? Don’t let that prick tell you otherwise.“

„At least you’d look pretty there.“

„Huh?“, the room asked, as she mumbled the sentence.

„At least you’d look pretty there. That’s what he said“, she looked up from her seat, to the room full of supporting people. „At least you’d look pretty.“

Max was so angry again, he could’ve killed that man, if it wasn’t for Daniel holding him back. „I am going to kill that man“, Max growled. y/n giggled: „Maxie, don’t, he doesn’t deserve death. He deserves to live a long, pitiful life.“

„We’re glad you’re laughing again, y/n“, Charles said. „Yes, very much so.“ Everyone agreed with Charles. „I love you guys, but how’d you even know that I was having a tough time?“, y/n asked confused. Lewis had to laugh: „Seb called me. Said he saw you on the TV all riled up and ready to cry and that I should already be on my way to help you, but I talked over him the whole time“ He scratched his neck and y/n laughed a loud belly laugh. „That’s so typical!“

°°°

taglist: @ironmaiden1313 , @topguncultleader , @biglittlesecret, @gulabjamooon , @lovelyy-moonlight , @peachyplumsss , @mistrose23 , @copper-boom , @love4lando , @champomiel , @serenityleah , @iloveyou3000morgan , @angelwithoutmywings , @elleeeee21 , @youkissedareaderinthedark , @mikauraur , @thybulleric , @lpab , @fdl305 , @mellowarcadefun , @teti-menchon0604 , @vildetry06 , @bibissparkles , @aurora-maria , @lunnnix , @sya-skies , @Buckywifeyy , @dakotali , @rechtrecht , @noncannonships , @1eclerc16 , @pitlanebabe , @sopheeg , @whatthefuckerr , @avengersheart , @thatsadsmallchild , @peachiicherries , @idkiwantchocolatee

[concreteangel92]

Hope this is ok for you ☺️ I do feel like I’ve rushed it ever so slightly but my connection in Egypt isn’t great unfortunately and I just wanted to get it up for you!

18+ below the cut!

Tags: @iloveyoubutifeellikeimdrowning @noahsebastions

Your best friend Noah had asked you to house sit for him while he was away on tour, of course you said yes, there wasn’t much you wouldn’t do for your best friend.

Everything had gone smoothly while he was away, you knew he was due back in a few days time.

Tonight you felt extremely bored as there was nothing to do within the house, nothing to watch on tv so you had decided to have a ‘self care night’ as you called it.

However you were struggling to get yourself worked up at all, no matter what you did, nothing seemed to help.

For some reason Noah flashed through you mind, what would he think if he knew what you were doing in his spare room? That thought alone caused a spark of arousal through your body.

“Well that’s not normal”

You pushed the worry away and allowed yourself to think of Noah, how handsome he is, how tall he is and how deep his voice is.

You sighed in frustration as you still struggled, you wished that your fingers could be replaced with Noah’s instead.

“I bet he’d be able to help”

Ignoring the logical part of your mind, you decided to go next door to Noah’s room, the thought of being able to smell his scent and know that you were in his bed was something you just couldn’t pass up, he was away so how would he even know?

You quickly moved into the room next to yours and got comfortable on his bed, feeling like you were about to be caught, although you knew that wasn’t the case, it definitely was helping your mood, the rush of doing something you knew you shouldn’t, in your best friends bed was too good not to explore.

You reached your hand down to your core and started to rub slow circles over your clit, the feeling now much more intense, the smell of Noah was all around you, you let yourself slip into a new fantasy of it being Noah’s hand instead of your own.

Your head fell back into his pillows as you let your moans fall from your lips, not caring to be quiet. Your fingers dipped lower and you slid one inside and felt how wet you truly were.

Your mind thought of Noah and how his fingers would stretch you out beautifully and how’d he’d no doubt talk you through it.

You slid one more finger inside and your other hand gently rolled your nipples, you could feel your high getting closer.

“Oh Noah…don’t stop”

“I haven’t even started yet”

Your eyes shot open and you sat yourself bolt upright at the sound of Noah’s voice, very much in the room with you.

Trying to cover yourself up as you felt your cheeks go bright red, you saw Noah leaning against his doorway with his arms crossed.

“Noah…I can explain…”

“Oh I can see what’s happening, you’re making a mess on my sheets instead of making a mess on me”

Your brows frowned together at his words as he stood himself upright and started to walk over.

“You’ve been a very bad girl y/n, and bad girls need to be punished.”

You sat in shock, was this really happening?

“If you want it that is? Because I’ll be honest, I’ve dreamed of nothing more then to get my hands on that ass of yours for a long time”

That snapped you out of it and you nodded your head, an ache starting immediately again in between your legs.

“On your knees for me baby, ass up”

You did as you were told and presented yourself up to him, not missing the groan that came from him as you felt his presence next to you.

“Now I’m only going to do 5 tonight, mostly because I’ve had a hard on ever since I heard your moans from down the hall and I can’t wait much longer to have you. Count for me angel and then I’ll bring your little fantasy to life”

You felt his hand rub over your cheeks almost lovingly before he spanked you hard.

“One!”

The impact alone had you clenching, his hand was so big and he certainly knew what he was doing.

“That’s my girl”

Noah brought his hand down fast on each cheek as you counted out “two! Three! Four!”

It stung beautifully and your body felt like it was on fire, you couldn’t wait to have him properly. Noah spanked you once more hard.

“Five!”

Noah ran his hands over your cheeks again before his fingers ghosted over your entrance.

“Fuck you’re absolutely soaked”

You pressed your head into your arms as you moaned softly.

“Noah please”

“I’ve got you baby”

You gasped and giggled when you felt Noah playfully bite down on your sore cheek before you heard his strip out of his clothes and he spread your legs wider.

You glanced back and seeing Noah’s body was mouthwatering and to see how hard and ready he was for you made you whimper in need.

Noah leant down and kissed you gently, seemly in no rush as you felt him line himself up, feeling him stretching you open.

You both cried out at the feeling, Noah’s hands settled on your hips before he started to thrust in and out of you, the sound of your own wetness hitting your ears and making you blush.

After getting yourself so worked up earlier and the spanking you’d just received, you knew you wouldn’t last long.

Noah suddenly pulled you back into his chest by your throat and quickened his pace, the new angle making you feel every inch of him.

“So, my naughty girl thought it was ok to mess my sheets up then?”

His thrusts were deep and his hand tightened around your throat just enough to make your head spin.

“I’m…I’m sorry No…Noah”

“Fuck….and what will my good girl do…shit…next time?”

You could feel your end approaching, his cock was hitting all the right spots and your brain was fuzzy from being choked while he spoke directly into your ear.

“I’ll come to you”

“That’s right baby, I’ll make sure we train you to behave from now on”

Your stomach twisted at his words while your thighs started to shake, tears formed in the corner of your eyes as you squeezed them shut. Noah reached his other hand down and rubbed fast on your clit while he continued to thrust into you and that was all it took to send you crashing over the edge.

Noah held you close to him while your body shook and you cried out, his hips faltering in his rhythm as he emptied himself inside you, his groans lost in your shoulder.

Your body went limp against his as he cuddled you to him, he slipped himself out and gently laid you both down on the bed, both still catching your breath.

You don’t miss the cheeky smile on his face a few moments later.

“Did I forget to mention that I was coming home early by the way?”

[darksigns-exe]

crystal clear - noah sebastian x f!reader

warnings: swearing, fingering (f receiving), more big feelings

word count: 2.7k

masterlist | read pt 1 here | taglist sign-up

It’s almost midnight by the time you’re done eating and have cleaned everything up again. Noah had made no mention of what had happened just a little while earlier. He’d just moved on as if nothing had changed, while you could feel yourself burning up from the inside out. The spot on your neck where he had left his mark still feels so raw when you brush your fingers against it. You can still feel his hands on your body. 

He slumps down next to you, stretching his legs out across the carpet. 

You don’t know how to move on from this. 

No matter how hard you try, you can’t stop thinking about the way he’d kissed you. You’d never be able to uncross this lines – not that you wanted to. 

Noah lets out a yawn, letting his head thump against your shoulder. 

“Mind if I stay here tonight? Don’t wanna drive back.” he mumbles in that faux pouty tone of his. 

“Thought that was the plan?” you reply, bumping your head against his. 

“I didn’t want to assume.” 

He suddenly sounds so hesitant and insecure, and maybe that’s what makes you realise that this is just as daunting for him as it is for you. 

“I was hoping that you’d stay.” you trail off, hoping that he’ll pick up on what you’re alluding to. 

“That so?” Noah sits up, turning to face you, “We should talk first, though.” 

As much as you want to drag him back to you, you know that this conversation needs to happen. And the sooner it happens, the better. 

“I don’t know where to start.” you admit, writhing your hands together. 

He reaches across to take your hands into his, “Neither do I but – I meant what I said earlier. I’ve been trying to find a good moment for this for a while now, but it never felt like the right time. And then you kept telling about how all of these people were just making you feel worse – I had to try, even at the chance that you wouldn’t feel that way for me.” 

You want to reach out and smooth the deep set furrow in his brow, but with him still holding on to your hands, all you can do is squeeze his hands. 

“I’m glad you did.” “So am I.” he replies, scooting a little closer to you, “If you want to I’d like to give this a shot. Take you out on a date and everything.”

“One condition.” 

Maybe you’re pushing it but breaking the tension feels like a good thing right now. 

“Of course. Whatever you need.”

“I want flowers.”

He breaks into a bright smile, “Oh, you’ll get so many flowers. Every day. As many as you want.” 

Within the blink of an eye, you find yourself on your back once again. The sudden movement makes you laugh, which in turn breaks Noah. And when he kisses you this time, it’s all smiles. You thread your fingers into his hair as he trails a soft line of kisses along your neck. 

You’ll never get enough of the softness on his face, the gentle adoration that simmers just below the surface. 

“Let me take you to bed?” he asks so gently that it makes you shiver all over. 

“Please.” you sigh in response. 

You’ve shared a bed with Noah on multiple occasions. He has stayed over at your place so often that he has a small stash of clothes in your dresser. But no matter how often you’ve woken up next to him, it’s all different now. Sitting next to him on top of your bed feels a little new and strange. Noah seems to be just as hesitant as you are. And really, you get it. It’s a big thing. He knows that you haven’t been intimate with anyone before, and you can’t imagine that he’s taking this lightly. 

This time, you’re the one who reaches out first. There’s a slight tremble to his hand when yours wraps around it. 

“We don’t have to do this right now. We can just get comfortable and get to that whenever it happens.” you tell him, hoping that your worry for him isn’t too obvious.

Noah clears his throat, “I just want this to be perfect for you. My first time wasn’t good, and I don’t want you to feel bad about it later, too.” 

The quiet admission stings deep in your chest, “I don’t think I could feel bad about it with you. I know that you’ll take good care of me.” 

There’s a faint little smile on his face, a soft little thing that eases your worries and dampens the sting. 

“I’ll do my best.” he replies, squeezing your hand, “If something feels off please tell me, okay?”

“Noah.” you warn, earning yourself another bright smile from him. 

He eyes you for a long moment, smile still playing on his lips. 

“Think I could kiss you again?” he sounds so adorably sheepish then, and you can’t possibly say no to him.

The kiss that follows is impossibly sweet. Noah’s hand behind your head keeps you close to him, but there’s nothing controlling about this. You soon find yourself on your back, with Noah once again hovering over you. The warm weight of his body comforts the nervous edge in your mind. You know what’s coming, but you know that you’ll be safe and well taken care of with him. 

His hand drifts up the side of your body, slowly working its way under the fabric of your shirt. His palm is warm against your skin, his touch much softer than you had expected. 

“How about we get this off you?” he asks, toying with the hem of your shirt. 

There’s a blip of insecurity in your mind, but it passes as soon as you lift the garment over your head and the breath visibly catches in Noah’s throat. His eyes flicker across your bared chest, unable to settle on a single spot. You’ve never seen him this hesitant as when he reaches out to brush the tips of his fingers against the skin of your tummy. It’s almost as if he’s in disbelief at seeing you like this. 

You reach towards him, almost mirroring his own touch. Noah reacts a little delayed, slowly taking his own shirt off. His breath hitches when your fingers make contact with his skin. 

You don’t quite understand how something that is so very familiar to you, can feel this new. You’ve seen him shirtless countless times, but drawing the tips of your fingers across the intricate lines that decorate his body gives you an entirely new perspective. Noah lets out a breathy little laugh when you find a particularly sensitive spot. 

“You’re so beautiful.” his voice comes barely above a whisper, disbelief still evident on his features. 

You want to counter his words, tell him that you think the same about him. But the words just won’t come to you. Thankfully, Noah takes your mind off it when he leans down to kiss you once more. From here, his lips make a slow descent along your jaw and neck. You feel teeth grazing across the skin of your collarbones. He soothes barely there sting with a gentle kiss. You sigh when he repeats the motion, one hand weaving into his hair. His lips find the apex of your breasts, placing soft kisses there too. The attention he gives you is maddening. 

He’s so very carefully when he helps you remove the remained of your clothes, leaving you in nothing but your underwear. He’d stripped down to his briefs at some point, but with the rush of information and sensation, you must have missed when. 

Noah kneels between your parted thighs, one of his hands placed comfortable on top of your thigh, while the other toys with the hem of your panties. His eyes drift across your body, stretched out in front of him. The shyness you had expected to feel is nowhere to be found. Instead, you feel so very comfortable beneath his glance. 

“Oh darling.” he says with a sigh, dragging the backs of his fingers across your still clothed centre.

You gasp, not used to this kind of touch from someone else. 

He keeps is voice low and soft, “You're so wet already, and we haven’t even done anything yet. Can I take these off too?” 

You nod, feeling a little too shaky to speak.

“Push up a little for me.” he says, tapping your hip. 

Noah works the fabric down your waist and legs, letting them disappear somewhere out of your sight. His fingers caress the inside of your thighs, not quite touching where you want him to touch. You are by no means a stranger to touching yourself. You know how to get yourself off, but the anticipation of someone else touching you like that fills your head with fuzz. 

His thumb drags through your folds so slowly and carefully. Your eyes fall shut when he circles it around your clit. Noah mumbles something to himself, but the words don’t reach your ears. You feel fingers tracing along your entrance, and your breath catches when the tip of his middle finger dips inside. 

“Do you always get wet like this, or is this just for me?” he asks, sounding almost amused, “Does that feel good?”

You whine out a yes in reply, earning you a soft chuckle from him. 

He carefully eases his finger inside, paying close attention to the sounds you make in reaction. The digit curls inside you, drawing another new noise from you. 

“I love the sounds you make. Sound so sweet.” He muses, eyes focused entirely on where his finger works in and out of you. 

A second finger joins the first, still so very careful. With his thumb drawing slow circles on your clit, you can start to feel yourself unravel. The attention Noah pays to you makes your head spin. His softly whispered words don’t reach your conscious mind. Your mind can’t focus on anything in particular, flipping between sensations by the second. One moment it’s the intent curl of his fingers inside you, the next it’s the warmth of his palm on your hip. A whine catches in your throat, breath hitching as your climax slowly creeps up on you. As much as you try to keep your eyes open, you fail miserably. That floaty feeling only becomes stronger, slowly dragging you under. 

You’re right on the edge of it. Noah’s hand wraps around yours, holding it just tight enough. 

“You’re right there, aren’t you, baby?” he coaxes, fingers now moving faster and more intent than before, “There you go, just let go for me. That’s it.”

Your own fingers would never come close to this, and really you weren’t sure if you’d ever be satisfied with the highs you could bring yourself to. You’re sure that your grip on his hand is getting too tight, but you can’t will yourself to let go of him. Noah doesn’t let up, keeps working his fingers inside of you as you fall apart on his fingers. Only when your whines take on a pained edge does he ease up and slowly removes the digits from you. 

You give yourself a moment before you dare to open your eyes. When you do, you find Noah already looking at you. You can’t describe the expression on his face as anything less than adoration. You try your best to memorise the moment, just for the worst case scenario that you’ll never see this again. 

His thumb drifts across the back of your hand, effectively drawing you out of your thoughts. 

“How was that? Good?” there’s a trace of the same kind of worry in his voice that you hear when he asks if you like the song he’s been working on. 

“I don’t think that it’s ever felt this good.” you admit quietly. 

The worry is immediately replaced by that cocky smile of his, the kind that makes you want to push him over, “If you’re up for it, I think I can make it even better.” 

You can’t stop yourself from rolling your eyes at him. 

Noah breaks a second after that, and the soft sound of his laugh is like music to your ears. He folds over, forehead coming to rest against your tummy. His breath tickles against your skin. You decide that he’s entirely too far away from you and bring your hand back into his hair to tug him upwards to you. Noah follows all too easily. He meets you in a clumsy kiss, still smiling when he pulls away from you a moment later. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks softly, still so very close to you, “Good to go on or do you want to finish this later?” 

“Don’t you dare.” you try to sound serious, but you can already feel yourself smiling around the words. 

“Alright, alright. One problem, I didn’t think this was going to happen. I don’t have anything with me.” he sits up a little, suddenly sounding a lot more serious, “If you’d feel better with a condom we can wait.” 

You consider your options for a moment. As much as you want this now, you can’t help but worry. Even with Noah’s assurance that there’s nothing to worry about from his side, the caution that has been beaten into you wins. 

There’s no disappointment on his face when you tell him that you want to wait. Instead, his hand finds its way to the side of your face. 

“It’s okay.” the genuine softness on his face eases the fear in your chest a little, “We don’t need to rush into this.”

“I’ve been waiting for so long –” 

He shakes his head, “I know, darling. I know it feels like you’re missing out, but I’d rather do this right than rushed. And either way, I’m not going anywhere.”

You shoot him a questioning look. 

“Did you really think that I was going to just let us go back to before? I mean, unless you want that –”

This time, you’re the one who stops him from rambling. You pull him in for a kiss, silencing him before his worrying derails entirely. 

“I’m guessing that means we don’t go back to just friends?” he asks, that little bit of smile still fixed on his face. 

“I don’t think I could go back to seeing you as just a friend even if I wanted to.” 

Noah pulls himself away from you, looking somewhat reluctant to put distance between you, “Good. Don’t think I could do that either.” 

“So what does that make us?” you ask quietly. 

Noah is quiet for a long moment. You can practically see the gears turning in his head. 

“I don’t wanna do this whole let’s see where this take us thing. I like you – too much, dance around this for ages. We’ve done enough of that already.” 

“So what I’m hearing is that you don’t want to pretend to be my boyfriend when a weird guy tries to chat me up in a bar any more?” 

“Won’t have to pretend.” he replies so softly, “This won’t be easy, but I think we can make it work.”

“We managed to keep this friendship running while you’re off doing your thing.” you counter quickly, “Will be worth it either way.” 

His smile widens at that, “We’ll make this work.”

“We will.” you reply, stifling a yawn, “But that can wait until tomorrow – later today.” 

When you had found him on your sofa earlier that night, you hadn’t thought that you would end the night curled up against him like this. Or that any of this would happen for that matter. He’s held you like this before, but now, with his warm hands resting against the skin of your tummy, you feel so very comforted. You feel Noah press another kiss to your cheek, you’ve lost count of how many kisses he’s pressed to your skin since your talk, but they all make you feel soft and warm inside. 

Behind you, Noah lets out a content sigh, as his arms tighten around you, and suddenly you wonder how you’ve ever gone without this.

taglist: @deathblacksmoke @circle-with-me @sitkowski @ladyveronikawrites @baddestomens

@malice-ov-mercy @chels3a-smile @ferduttini @somebodyels3 @itsafullmoon

@shilohrosechicken @poisongirl616 @mysticdoodlez @agravemisstake @th4t-em0-k1d

[flowery-mess]

what if

Pairing: frat boy Noah x female reader

reader has a name (Ella Thompson, but the story is written in 'your' POV)

Warnings: 18+ MDNI! / pregnancy scare / talks about not wanting to have kids in future / sex allusions but no actual sex content in this chapter / period mentions / I think that's it, let me know

Words: 2,1k

Author's note: something shorter for these two. Credits to @thenmaybehellaintsobadafterall for the pregnancy scare idea🥰

frat boy Noah masterlist

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

“Exams.” was the only thing on your mind these days. You had projects that needed to be finished and you had to study a lot. Plus last week you had to attend a few classes at the neuropsychology ward at the local hospital.

It was amazing, working with patients and putting your studies to use. But it was tiring as hell. Every day you came back to your dorm, had a shower and went to sleep, that’s why you had so much stuff to catch up on now.

You didn’t go to parties, neither did Noah. Some people wouldn’t have guessed it, but he was a very good student. He always made fun of you for doing stuff at the last minute.

You were too caught up with school that you forgot about yourself. Because today, when you snapped at your classmate, you realized something.

Earlier that day:

“Ella, come on I’ll pay you to do my homework.” David, your classmate, a very annoying one, tried again to talk you into doing his homework for him. You were too caught up with your own shit you told him last week that you’re not going to do it.

“I already told you no.” you didn’t look up from your book when you gave him your answer.

“Please Ella! You’re so good at psychology and I need a good grade.”

“Compliments won’t get you anywhere.” you snorted at his try.

“Okay how much do you want?”

“I’m not gonna do it David.”

“Then tell me what do you want if not money. Dinner? Drinks? Sex?” and that was the last straw.

“Who do you think I am? Sex?” you finally lifted your head up from the book and looked at him.

“I didn’t mea-” he didn’t get to finish that sentence because you stood up and packed your things.

“Do your own fucking homework. If you can’t do it yourself then your presence in senior year is very questionable.” as you were leaving the study room he managed to yell one more sentence: “Are you on your period or what?”

You just flipped him off, but realized that for a fact you were not having your period, but you should be.

Your body was in so much stress already that if any more was because of your late period you didn’t even notice it.

You tried to calm yourself down with “It’s only a few days.” and “It’s probably because of the stress.”, but that didn’t do a good job.

So you made a quick stop at the school pharmacy and bought a pregnancy test. You really tried to not let it get to your head, you didn’t need any of that now. It happens sometimes, it’s nothing unusual.

You still had to finish the project you were working on before David interrupted you, so you made it to the library to continue where you left it.

“Fuck me!” you cursed to yourself after you didn’t click on save and the last paragraph you wrote was now gone.

“I could do that.” you heard behind your back.

Turning around you were met with Noah. He was wearing black sweatpants and gray hoodie and fucking flip flops.

“What are you doing here?” you didn’t hide your surprised voice, because Noah’s presence in the library was something that could be considered weird or odd.

“I just came here for a few books, need them to finish my essay.” he shrugged his shoulders and sat down next to you.

“Okay.” you replied and went back to writing your own. Noah didn’t find your behaviour weird, because he knows how you get when you’re stressed from exams.

“What are you doing?” you asked him with a side eye as he opened one of the books that laid in front of him.

“Reading a book?”

“But why are you doing it here?”

“Because it’s a library?”

“Noah, you never study in the library.”

“True, but you’re here and you’re my favorite study buddy.” he said with a teasing smile. He knew how far he could get before you got angry with him.

You just rolled your eyes and focused back on your notebook.

After a while you forgot Noah was next to you, he was quiet and the only sounds you could hear was when he turned the pages.

You didn’t realize how much time had passed until you heard your stomach doing unnatural sounds.

“Oh my god, you didn’t eat again?” Noah rolled his eyes at you, annoyed with how you forget to eat when you’re this focused.

“I did! I’m gonna leave soon, I just need to finish this page.”

“Sure, liar.” he said and reached for your bag. “Do you have any snacks in here?” he dove his head into the bag and started looking for something that could help with your hunger.

“Nah I think I ate the las-” you didn’t even lift your head up from the papers in front of you, because it wasn’t the first time Noah rummaged through your bag to find a snack or just look at what’s inside. Mystery of a woman’s bag.

“What the fuck?” you heard the sounds of things being thrown around inside of the bag stop and looked up.

“Fuck.” you whispered as you were looking at Noah who was holding the pregnancy test. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” you repeated and tried to take it from his hands, but he was quicker.

“What the fuck?” yeah seems like you both forgot other words than fuck.

“Put it back before anyone sees it!” you whisper yelled at him. He looked around and remembered where you two were and hid under the table in his lap.

“Still Ella, what the fuck? Are you fucking pregnant?” he was panicking, full on panic mood.

“No!” you said, “I don’t know.” and then continued.

“What does that mean?” he groaned, visibly getting frustrated from this whole situation.

“Okay, calm down.” you took a deep breath and laid your hands on his shaking ones.

“I realized that I'm a few days late with my period. But it’s normal, it must be the stress from exams.”

“Have you already done it?” he looked down at the small box in his hand.

“No.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” his shocked expression was looking at you. “Let’s go.” he started packing both of your things and when he was done he took your hand in his and made you stand up.

He led you out of the library and in the direction of toilets.

“I’m not doing it in school Noah!” you tried to stop him, but he had more strength.

“Then let’s go to your dorm.” he turned around and started walking in the direction of the main exit. He looked like a crazy person.

“Molly is there.”

“She’s your friend, she'll understand.”

“She hates you.”

“And she’ll hate me even more if I knocked you up.”

“That’s true.” you agreed, thinking if Molly would use her voice or her hands on Noah if the test was positive. “But I don’t wanna do it there.”

Noah stopped walking which made you hit his back. He turned around and you finally realized that he was probably really scared.

“Then we’re going to my place.” his steps were back at a quick pace now towards the parking lot.

“Noah calm down, you’re not helping the situation.”

“Get in.” he opened the car door for you and before he sat behind the wheel he put both of your bags in the back.

You didn’t know what was going through his mind so you stayed silent.

As you were looking out of the window you thought about the two possible outcomes. First, it’ll be negative and everything will get back to normal. But what if it’ll be the second option, positive.

You don’t want kids, at least not now. What will Noah’s reaction be if there are two lines? Will he be angry? Yell at you? Cry? Throw you out and tell you that he never wants to see you again?

You felt tears in your eyes at the thought of Noah not talking to you anymore, at the thought of losing him.

“Will you be mad?” you whispered and turned your head to look at him. He was focused on the road and his hands were gripping the wheel so hard that his knuckles turned white. But when he heard the crack in your voice he looked at you for a second before shifting his gaze back to the road.

“Ella.” he said your name with a sigh and shook his head. “I won’t be mad. I’m just scared as fuck.” he admitted.

“Me too.” you confessed. His hand reached over the center console and grabbed one of yours. He gave you a comfort squeeze which you returned.

The rest of the ride was silent.

—

“Let’s do it.” you said and grabbed the white and pink box. You turned around and started walking to Noah’s bathroom.

When you were inside you went to close the door behind, but instead you hit something and heard a bang on the door. You heard “Ouch.” and turned around to see Noah right behind you.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you said. He just looked at you with puppy eyes and said “Coming in?”

“Noah, you're not watching me peeing on a stick.” it took a few minutes to convince him that you’re not going to lock yourself in his bathroom and he made you promise that you won’t look at it without him.

When you sat down on the toilet it still felt like Noah was in the room with you.

“Noah, I know you’re behind the door.” you groaned.

“Just do it.”

“I can’t do it if I know you can hear me.”

“Jesus Ella.”

“Leave me alone or I’ll lock myself here for the rest of our lives.” and then you heard him dramatically stomp away.

You did what the instructions told you and washed your hands. You took the test and left the bathroom only to find Noah pacing back and forth in his kitchen.

You put the test on the counter, took out your phone and set the timer for 3 minutes.

“It’s gonna be negative Noah.”

“It must be, we use condoms.”

The timer went off before you could talk about anything else and you looked at each other with worry in your eyes.

“Do you wanna look at it?” he asked you.

“Do you?”

“No, you do it.”

So you reached out for your phone to turn it off and then you took the test. You took a deep breath before turning it around.

“It’s fucking negative!” you yelled out loud and cheered.

“Thank God!” Noah placed his hands on his chest where his heart is and leaned against the counter.

Noah threw the test away and clapped his hands like a little kid that just achieved something.

You sat up on the counter and couldn’t help but ask him “What would your reaction be if it was positive?”

“I don’t know.” he answered honestly.

“Do you ever want to be a dad? I don’t mean right now obviously, but in the future.”

“I don’t know. Probably no. I don’t know how to be a dad.”

“No one knows how to be a parent until they are.”

“Well the only example I ever had was my father, so I think I’ll pass.”

“You’re not like your father.” you frowned at his words. He was so scared of being like his father that he’d rather not have kids at all.

“The idea of having kids doesn’t really excite me in general, it’s not just because of him.” after you didn’t give him another answer he asked you, “What about you? Do you want kids?”

“I don’t think so.” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Why?”

“If I tell you that you’re just gonna throw my words at me.” it was because of your mom.

“You know you’re also not like your mother right?”

“There we go.” you rolled your eyes, but then you both laughed. “I just know that she always did everything with a good intention and she always wanted the best for me, but she still hurt me so much. I don’t want to do that to a kid. What if I’d think I’m a good mom, but my kid would hate me.”

“Then I guess it’s a good thing the test was negative. Can you imagine us as parents?”

“We would be cool parents!” you protested.

“Yeah, maybe in another universe.” Noah laughed and you agreed with him.

You spent the rest of the day together, finishing your own school work before ordering dinner. Noah dropped you back at the campus and it would be Noah if he didn’t say “Maybe if you come over tomorrow and we have sex your period will come sooner so we can be sure you’re really not pregnant?”

You just closed the door in his face and flipped him off.

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

This story is a work of fiction, with the plot and characters entirely made up. The appearance and name of the main male character are inspired by Noah Sebastian Davis, but the storyline bears no connection to the real person. Please do not steal or repost this work on other platforms without permission.

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