#10 Marla

[linkcrafter]

Lahore Motorway City

03338200500

[wa-associate-and-builder]

[crewofthegoldrush]

this town's our canvas, baby

Rating: T / PG-13

Campaign Setting: Modern AU of an Eberron setting

Summary:

"Why not shoot me a text?"

"I only have five minutes and barely a finger free, let alone a whole hand. It's quicker to say 'call Montgomery'."

"Montgomery? You don't have a nickname for me in your phone?"

"No," she says like it was obvious, and Monty can hear the sound of Aubrey's heels stopping abruptly. "Why? What's my name in your phone?"

[this town's our canvas, baby - let's paint it red tonight]

-

back at it again with another AU no one asked for 

most PCs and core NPCs have cameos in this and honestly I think their use here is pretty funny, I hope their antics get a laugh now and then. It is my biggest regret that I didn't give Ellie, our resident Angus McDonald character, more spotlight in fool's gold so I hope I've made up for it here

minor content warning for womanizer & fantasy racist boss behavior

[livinginshambles]

I thought you'd be different | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Slytherin!Fem!Reader

Word Count: 4.6k

Summary: A cinderella story (maybe a little romeo and juliet while we're at it) but Hogwarts - Enemies-ish to lovers. You find an enchanted parchment through wich you anonymously talk to a stranger (James). When you meet him at the Yule ball, he is not who you expected, but you give him a chance. When you realise that was clearly a mistake, you flee cinderella style.

Probably part one of two again.

Notes: Not proofread, grammar mistakes. Discrimination issues, themes of bullying. Regulus is our friend. James is an idiot, but we knew that already. Sirius sucks.

Masterlist. Part two. Part three

--------------------------------

You could still remember the moment vividly, as if it was engraved in your memory. That moment when the sorting hat placed you in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor like your two older sisters had been sorted. You could still see the look of surprise, concern, horror and then eventually disgust, every time you close your eyes.

“Now we finally know your true colors,” is what your sister Alyssa had hissed coldly at you. You had pleadingly looked at your other sister, but Marla had supported her twin sister, disregarding the confused and scared look in your eleven-year-old eyes.

“Don’t talk to us, don’t look at us and don’t mention us at all,” she sneered down at you and for a moment you wondered how she hadn’t been the one to be sorted into Slytherin instead. But you had cast your eyes down and agreed.

But years passed and you had become the very stereotype of a Slytherin student, completely leaning into the cold, distant, quiet but calculating persona that your sisters had created for you. Might as well, you figured after your parent’s dismay at the revelation of your house.

You were making your way down the corridor, long strides as you passed your sisters while looking them straight in the eye. They grimaced at the sight of you, but without their entire group of classmates, they didn’t dare make any comments. A feeling of victory erupted inside of you, and you couldn’t help the small smirk that crept up your face.

“What poor soul suffered for you to look so satisfied?” You turned your head to look at the person who called out to you. James Potter and Sirius Black were both leaning against a statue in the open yard. “Did you get rid of Regulus or something?” Sirius taunted. “Finally had enough of him following you around, did you L/N?”

“Go die in a ditch, Sirius,” you retorted with an eye roll, but seemed unphased.

“Why so much hostility,” James unpleasantly remarked, and you halted in your step. “10 points from Gryffindor for loitering,” you pettily decided.

“If you have nothing to do, other than insulting students, I would love to recommend you to Professor McGonagall for detention. Heard she was still looking for the person who made all the pumpkins explode last week during Halloween, and you guys are terrible at getting rid of the evidence.” With a last glance up and down, you continued your way towards the room of requirement.

When you entered the sober room with a sigh, you noticed the small scrolled up piece of parchment in the middle of the room. You frowned. This was your space. The room didn’t open this space for anyone else, you made it specifically as a safe haven.

You cautiously approached the parchment and rolled it open to reveal nothing. It was completely blank. You shrugged. If the room left this here, it was meant for you, and so you took a seat and started drawing on it.

James sat in an empty room, his invisibility cloak hiding him from plain sight as he pulled the now folded paper from his back pocket. He inspected it closely, almost pressing the paper to his glasses in a curious manner. He had gone to the Room of Requirements earlier that day and found a piece of paper floating in the air.

James unfolded the paper, and his eyebrows flew up. Lines were appearing on the paper by itself, and a beautiful portrait of a weeping willow with a girl, crying on a bench under the tree appeared.

James fumbled to find his quill and ink. Then he started to write something on it, in a handwriting that he only ever used for written exams. Credits to Professor McGonagall, who had announced that she would not be grading anything she couldn’t read. And she had looked over her glasses at him while she said it.

It’s beautiful.

You dropped the parchment at the words that formed right under your drawing. You traced it with your fingers. Then you decided to write back.

Thank you, I’ve been dreaming about this for the past two days.

You frowned at yourself, unsure why you would disclose such information, but figured no one would be able to trace this back to you anyway.

James blinked at the response he got, mouth open in surprise. He wasn’t sure why he was so surprised. It must simply be a spell of some sort after all. He stared at the sad drawing and the sentence, and then he made up his mind, writing back.

It must be lonely for that girl to cry by herself under the weeping willow.

Your eyes followed the words that formed in a trance.

If she ever feels lonely again, she can always pour her heart out on this parchment. I’ll be the mighty guardian wizard that will make all her worries magically disappear.

A grateful smile made its way up your face and when you scribbled back a response, James couldn’t help but smile as well.

Maybe she will.

You doodled a wizard sitting on the bench next to the crying girl, a consoling hand stretched out.

That's how you became James’ best kept secret. He learned that you were indeed a student at Hogwarts, but that you felt lonely. That you enjoyed butterbeer, but never got to enjoy it on a Hogsmeade outing with friends, because you rarely had any. He learned that you felt inferior to your siblings and a disappointment to your parents. He noticed how you would draw a circle as the dot on your ‘i’ and learned, when he asked, that you did that because you had once seen Professor McGonagall do that when you were in your first year, and had practiced mimicking her handwriting, should it ever come in handy.

In return, he had told you that he felt pressured by the reputation that he had to maintain. He loved Quidditch and absolutely despised Ancient Runes, to which you had replied, “who doesn’t?”. He told you that he had illegally learned to become an Animagus, a stag, and that he wasn’t sure yet what the future would hold for him. He even revealed to you that he desperately wants to protect his friends and sometimes had nightmares, which usually resulted in a sneak around the castle at midnight. When you had asked him if he’d ever been caught, he responded with, “never”, and had explained to you that he had an invisibility cloak.

Two months passed and before you knew it, you were explaining Transfiguration through the enchanted parchment. You did conclude from this that your pen pal was most likely in a year or two higher than yourself but decided not to comment on it. James on the other hand, was under the assumption that you must be from his year, as you managed to help him study for his exams.

But now, it was almost 12 o’clock midnight, and James chewed his lip while he looked at the parchment. He hesitated for a moment. Then he decided to ask you the one question he had been yearning to know the answer to.

Who are you?

You looked at the paper sadly, and sighed.

You’d be disappointed.

I understand if you don’t want to reveal yourself. But know that I could never be disappointed by you, Willow.

James sighed when you didn’t answer anymore. He waved away the light that emitted from the tip of his wand and took his glasses off. He went to put the parchment under his pillow as usual, when he saw the scribbling movement that he’d gotten so accustomed to.

He scrambled to grab his wand to shed light on the paper but accidentally nudged them off the nightstand and onto the floor, where it rolled under his bed. James’ eyes flickered back to the paper in his hand, and he managed to catch the first letter of your name as it was written in capital letters.

But your cursive handwriting, the dark and lack of glasses made it impossible to read the rest of your name. When he finally reached his wand and put on his glasses, he heard the clock strike twelve and he cursed as he grasped the parchment tightly, hurried ‘lumos’ and saw that the parchment had reset itself to a blank page again, just as every night at 12 o’clock at midnight.

Wait, please! I didn’t catch it before it erased itself. Please write it again?

You let out a sigh in relief after you had internally bashed your head against a wall.

No, it was stupid of me. I’m glad you didn’t see it.

You leaned back into your armchair with a racing heart. You couldn’t believe you had done that.

“Regulus,” you acknowledged as you pulled the chair back to sit next to him in the library. “Y/N,” Regulus quietly responded without looking up from his book, and if you didn’t know any better, his straight face would indicate annoyance. Luckily, you did know better.

“You smile any brighter, the sorting hat will transfer you to Hufflepuff, you know,” you teased him.

His face distorted in a grimace and without missing a beat, he replied, “do kill me before such a thing occurs.” You shook your head and finally sat down. Then you pursed your lips in thought.

“You know how I’ve been working all summer to earn galleons?”

“No.”

“Well I did.”

“So it seems.”

“Anyway, I rented a small flat,” you blurted out. Regulus finally looked up at you, surprise almost evident on his face. Then again, you didn’t have the most amazing home situation either. You often opted to stay behind at Hogwarts for the holidays. It is how you two had befriended each other, especially ever since Sirius left him to his own devices at home. Parents, it was a trauma bonding thing.

“Congratulations,” he nodded, his voice trailed off as he tried to see how this would concern him.

“So I thought you might want to stay with me over the Christmas holidays? Your mother doesn’t hate me, so I thought it might be possible. Gives you a chance to get out once in a while.” You tentatively brought up the sensitive subject.

“And what makes you think living with you will be any more bearable than living in my own mansion?” Regulus snarkily remarked.

You squinted your eyes at him in a scowl. “A simple ‘no’ would suffice don’t you think?”

“Do I have to pay rent?”

“Depends on whether or not the answer impacts your decision.”

“So not then.”

You huffed.

“Fine, I suppose I could join you in your small flat.”

“Merlin, don’t go doing me any favors Reg, I wouldn’t want to owe you.”

Regulus shook his head in amusement.

Satisfied with your rather successful attempt to invite him over, you got up. The chair you sat on screeched loudly as it was being pushed back. You could feel the librarian’s furious eyes on your back and rolled your eyes at her as you made your way to the door. “Alright, alright, I’m leaving,” you waved your hand in the air and exited the room.

You made it approximately two steps when you spotted your sisters again. “Of course you would cause a disturbance in the library,” Marla spat at you. You raised your eyebrows but remained unimpressed.

“I see you’ve got your buddies to back you up now?” you commented and tilted your chin slightly upwards. Your eyes flickered to your other sister, their closest friends, and the marauders.

For a moment, you considered walking away, but there was just something about that twitching lip of your sister that had you irked.

You stepped forward, narrowing the gap between you and your sister. You leaned in slightly and then, “Boo.”

It took your other sister, Alyssa about one second to have her wand pulled out and pointed at your throat.

James watched the interaction with a small frown on his face. He didn’t really speak with the fellow Gryffindor twins, but their friends and Lily were friends, so the marauders had joined them on their way towards the courtyard.

His mind flickered to a conversation he had had with ‘Willow’ about her sisters, and he wondered if you felt the same sadness and inferiority as his pen pal. And with that in mind, he pulled Alyssa back by her robe with one harm, the other lowering her raised wand.

“Let’s not,” he shrugged, when she raised her brows in question at him.

“She clearly threatened my sister,” Alyssa defended.

You scoffed at that. “I said ‘boo’. That’s hardly a threat,” you rolled your eyes and glanced at James who tried to offer you something that resembled a smile.

Was he mocking you? “Fancy yourself a hero, don’t you, Potter.”

“Hey, I was just trying to help,” he raised his hands in defense.

“Cause you’re such a good soul,” you sarcastically remarked.

“Yeah, actually. At least better than you. That hostility is so uncalled for,” Sirius mumbled under his breath, and you shot him a glare. “Right, better than me. Let me ask the two-dozen tormented Slytherin students you’ve bullied this past year. Bet Snape will buy your self-proclaimed ‘kindness’.”

You were already walking away when Sirius opened his mouth to call something out to you, but James kicked his shins in attempt to shut him up. Your words resonated in his mind.

Maybe he was a twat.

Am I a twat?

What the bloody hell are you on about?

Someone called me a twat today. Now that wasn’t necessarily true, but the implications were there.

Did you deserve it?

Sort of.

Sort of?

I mean, I am only an asshole to people who are assholes themselves and deserve it. But I guess that makes me an asshole too.

You hesitated for a moment and decided to write your opinion on the matter.

Maybe you being an asshole to people makes them assholes. And then it becomes a vicious circle. Self-fulfilling prophecy and all that bogger.

You reckon?

Wouldn’t have written it down if I didn’t.

On a brighter note, do you have a date for the Yule ball after the exams?

If you’re asking me out, I already promised my friend that we’d go together.

Oh right. But would you save me a dance? Maybe at midnight under the main crystal chandelier?

James bit his lip again in suspense. The Yule ball is a masked ball anyways, if you don’t want to reveal yourself.

Midnight, main crystal chandelier. You decided to leave it at that. Besides. You could enchant the mask a little extra, so you’d be even more unrecognizable. You wondered who would be behind the kind words of the parchment.

It felt strange to you. Really looking forward to something to the point you could feel jitters in your stomach in anticipation. But it was having a certain effect on you that even the younger Black couldn’t help but miss.

Regulus squinted his eyes and moved his jaw in thought. When he had had enough, he pulled you aside.

“Out with it.”

You deflated. You knew that he knew what he was talking about, so you shrugged. “Someone asked me to save a dance next week,” you mumbled.

“And you want to?” Regulus’ tone shifted to an incredulous one.

“I found an enchanted parchment in the room of requirements and it’s connected. I’ve been using it to have conversations with a mystery person.”

It felt great to be able to share this with your friend and you leaned against the wall behind you. “So yeah.” You finished the confession with an awkward hand gesture.

Regulus took a moment to register what you said. And then, as if it was the most normal thing ever, he responded with, “I see. And you have no idea who?”

You let yourself slide down the wall and tiredly put your head on your propped up knees. “Probably a Gryffindor.”

Regulus started laughing. You snapped your head up and scowled at him, not that he was used to anything else from you.

“As long as it’s not a mudbl-“

You kicked his legs and made him lose his balance. You shot him a warning glance. “You know my opinion on that.”

Regulus sighed. You had once confided in him about your home situation, including that time when you had overheard your parents argue when you came home for the first time after having been sorted into Slytherin. Your father had addressed the matter as soon as you walked through the door.

“You’re no daughter of mine.” He had said with disapproval in his voice. It wasn’t meant as a figurative insult. It was a statement. Your father believed that you could simply not biologically be his daughter. The words had you avert your eyes to the floor in shame.

“My entire bloodline has been sorted into Gryffindor.” He had looked at your mother. “Your family does have Slytherins. She’s most likely the result of your affair with that muggle a decade ago. It is possible.” And just like that, he had practically disowned you.

“Okay,” Regulus relented. “We’ll see who it is next week.”

James was nervously looking around, standing partnerless in the middle of the dancefloor. He had long forgone the mask that he had chosen because it prevented him from using his glasses. He looked at the great clock just above the table with drinks and pulled a hand through his hair.

It was time, so where were you? Hopefully you hadn’t chickened out yet because he was absolutely dying to meet you.

There was just something about you. It sparked something in him that he hadn’t felt since Lily. He’d look forward to your messages all the time. Every morning, he practically jumped up in anticipation and excitement as he reached under his pillow to read your ‘good morning’ message for the day. A smile would pass his lips each time.

James was ripped from his thoughts when a hand was placed on his shoulder blade. It tapped twice. He stopped breathing for a moment before turning around. And then the breath was knocked out of both of you completely.

For two different reasons.

James stared in awe at you. You wore a white and silver dress, covered in diamonds. A delicate white mask covered the upper part of your face, and he stared intently at your eyes, but somehow, he still couldn’t pinpoint who you were.

He could see all of your features clearly, but as if he was in a dream, he somehow couldn’t piece everything together to identify you. A charm, he realized. He was disappointed but shook it off. If you felt insecure, then he wouldn’t push it.

James’ face broke out in a grin, and he stepped forward. He couldn’t help but reach out to your face. But you took a step back. His hand fell and he frowned at your reaction, suddenly scared. He wasn’t wearing a mask after all. Compared to you, he was completely vulnerable.

Before he could say anything, you cut him to it. “No,” you hoarsely managed. “This was a mistake.” You turned around and escaped from the center of the dancefloor. James chased you.

“Wait, please. I’m sorry!” He called out after you.

You slowed your pace when you reached the corner next to the staircase. Then you shook your head with a sight, and you pinched your nose. James could see your furrowed brows.

“You have nothing to be sorry about. But my intention wasn’t to dance with James Potter. It was a mistake. Sorry for wasting your time.”

James shook his head in his turn. “Don’t say that,” his eyes pleaded. “So you know who I am. Am I..” He hesitated. “Am I that bad? I don’t know if you’ve heard any rumors about me, or what made you have a bad impression of me, but I’m the one you’ve been talking to for the past months.” He looked at you desperately. “Give me a chance, please. I only ask for a dance.”

Your eyes flickered over his sad face. You knew James from all the pranks that he did, mostly committed towards your house. You knew him from the banters you had with him, and from crying students that you undid hexes for. You knew him from pushing him out of the way as he purposely blocked your path to throw insults at you.

But you also knew the boy from the enchanted paper. The one who listened to all your worries. Who offered advice and indulged into your hopes and dreams for the future. You knew the boy who confided in you all his deepest secrets and own insecurities. Who made your day and cheered you up with his jokes and positivity.

“I can give you a dance,” you caved, and you offered him your hand, which he scrambled to hold.

James was a fairly decent dance partner, you soon discovered as he guided you with grace. “So I suppose you dance often?”

“I just practiced a lot,” he sheepishly admitted. “I had to impress you somehow, you know. Someone like you had to be crazy out of my league after all.”

Your lips twitched. “I think you’ve got it all backwards, Potter.”

“You know you can call me James, right?”

“Well, James,” you enunciated his name. It felt weird on your tongue. You had only ever spoken his last name in contempt. “I’m not very liked by more than half the students of this castle.” You motioned towards your mask. “Hence the enchantment,” you added halfheartedly.

“You don’t have to tell me who you are,” James immediately assured you, and you did relax at his words. “I’m just really happy that you’re real.”

You let out a laugh. “Why would I not be real?”

“I don’t know,” James whined. “Maybe I was just talking to really sentient paper or something?”

His answer only made you laugh more. James’ grin only spread wider.

“Whoever you are, I wouldn’t judge you,” James added quietly. You watched him silently as you swayed around the room.

“That’d be a first,” you joked sadly, remembering your own family.

“What can I say, I’m just different,” James cheekily winked and then twirled you around.

“We’ll see about that, James. You have the rest of the night to convince me.”

The dance ended and you curtsied to each other, out of breath. “But you’ll have to excuse me while I go find a bench because my feet are killing me. These heels are no joke,” you groaned in pain and sort of started to limp your way back.

James quickly came to support you and held your waist as he escorted you back to the side of the room. When you discovered that there were not in fact any benches, you sat down on the first few steps of the staircase. He raised his eyebrows when you kicked off your heels and saw that the entire slipper was made of glass.

“I transfigured those shoes myself, you know,” you proudly stated. James looked at it in disbelief. “This can carry a human weight?”

“Yeah, it took a lot of different enchantments and attempts,” you admitted.

James’ disbelief changed to awe. He took a seat next to you and you two started chatting about random things. You looked at James’ profile as he talked about Quidditch and felt soft towards him. Maybe he really wasn’t so bad after all.

The two of you were deep into a conversation when you were interrupted .

“Who is this, Prongs?” Sirius curiously stepped forward and shook your hand. You couldn’t help but grimace at him.

You politely nodded and explained the situation, but even though you engaged into a civil, nonchalant conversation, you couldn’t help but feel uncomfortable at the presence of James’ friends.

“Anyways,” Sirius leans in towards James. “Did you see Snape over there?” He nodded his head towards Snape, and you squinted your eyes at the boy in front of you.

“You’re not thinking of doing anything to him, are you,” you sharply asked. Both James and Sirius were taken aback by your new tone.

“Nothing harmful,” Sirius laughed, but it faded when you simply raised your eyebrows at him. Sirius looked towards James for help. James hesitated. He had been reluctant to indulge Sirius’ ideas ever since his conversation with you about being a twat. But Sirius was his friend.

“We’re just having a bit of fun,” James tried to explain. “We’re just joking around, besides, he’s in Slytherin, so definitely a blood supremacist.” Your face fell at his words.

You watched his features contort in disgust and suddenly you were eleven again, and all you could see was your sisters disgusted face.

By the time you had snapped out of it, Sirius was already making his way towards Snape. James had gotten up and his head flickered between you and his friend.

You got up as well.

“I really thought you’d be different, James.” You scoffed to yourself. “You really had me convinced there for a moment. But I understand that you’re really just a bully after all, blinded by prejudice. You really are a twat.”

James’ heart dropped at hearing you say those words. He felt ashamed and shook his head pleadingly as he searched for words. But the thing is, you couldn’t care less, because you were hurt too. So you turned around and fled up the stairs as fast as you could, just in case he would come after you.

“Hey Prongs, you coming or not?” Sirius called out. James looked back at Sirius as he contemplated his next move. He mouthed ‘no’, and then tried to run after you. But by the time he reached the hallway that you had disappeared to, you were nowhere in sight.

In denial, James ran towards the moving staircases and looked up, in hopes to find you there.

Had he looked down, maybe he would have caught the last shimmer of reflection of the diamonds on your dress.

James refused to give up, however and he started to knock on the paintings, hoping that they could tell him where you went. He just had to apologize.

A symphony of protests and yelling echoed within the hall. “Quiet you!” “Have you no respect for the sleeping?” “I will complain to Filch about this, young man!” “Leave us alone!”

When the voices resided, most portraits were empty, their contents having escaped elsewhere.

Defeated, James groaned and hit his head with his fists. “You stupid git!” he yelled out in frustration at himself. James slouched down to sit on the stairs. Then he reached for the parchment and a pen in the inner pocket of his jacket and started scrambling something down.

“Please answer,” he whispered. He almost had to laugh at how pathetic he must look.

You sat on your bed after having made your way to the Slytherin dorms.

I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have said that. I don’t know why I said that. I’m stupid and I ruined everything. Please let me make it up to you. I enjoy being with you, I don’t want you to think of me like this.

 Like I said before, this was clearly a mistake.

James read your words over and over again and he buried his face in his hands in shame. He stayed there for a long while and by the time he returned to the room, the party was over, and people had started returning to bed. On the left side of the staircase were your enchanted glass slippers precisely where you’d kicked the off and left them.

Preview of part two

Part two

Taglist:

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@charlie-weasley-is-underrated @dreamingofmarauders @moonyslibrary98 @wildernessflora @hollandweather @queerqueenlynn @locklyebrainrot @thisrandombitch @grac3aph3lion @earfquak3 @venomsvl @middle-of-the-earth @shrekscrustybudassy @bettytaylorversion @littlepoisonmushroom @faumpje @iloveutwice @katelebate @moonysupremacy01 @marina468 @fangirl-kimora @bellesowl @badasswlthafatass @sjprongs @armydrcamers @its-a-ittle-bit-cold @ireallywannasleep127 @sayukoi @jsjcue @cashtons-wife @idllyastuff @severegiantjudgefriend @ivy-34 @moonyunebi @caspianobsessed @kquil @moonys-luvr @mindflay3r @nokkoongie

[landmaster0]

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[strawbby-shortcake]

Fight Club Headcanons ✧.*

✩ The Narrator

ʚɞ Chews on his fingernails and picks at his skin constantly. They're nervous habits of his. He sometimes picks at Tyler's arm if he gets the urge.

ʚɞ Is a picky eater and that's why he's a little twig<3 He won't eat anything that smells or looks weird (unless forced).

ʚɞ Doesn't have the best hygiene. Like he tries, he really does, but I think he fails at it most of the time because he's so fatigued.

ʚɞ Likes stale potato chips.

ʚɞ He barely had a father figure in his life, so he's dependent on Tyler to satisfy the need of a "strong male figure."

ʚɞ Despises physical touch from people he doesn't know.

ʚɞ If there's a chance, he'll attempt to sleep anywhere. Like he'd curl up in a ball on a park bench if he wanted to.

✩ Tyler Durden

ʚɞ Has an oral fixation and that's why he can't stop smoking. He might eat candy if he runs out of cigarettes just to have something in his mouth at all times.

ʚɞ Has 10 packs of gum with him. Never shares.

ʚɞ Gaslights people on a daily basis and doesn't feel bad about it.

ʚɞ Overly judgmental but hates accepting criticism.

ʚɞ Secretly loves gentle physical touch like massages, playing with his hair, and fidgeting with someone's hands.

✩ Marla Singer

ʚɞ Gossips wherever and whenever she can.

ʚɞ I'd like to think she was a momma's girl who went off the beaten path.

ʚɞ Cannot actually be in love with someone. She likes the idea of having a companion, but love and marriage and starting a family is a huge no for her.

ʚɞ The type to buy scratch-offs and lotto tickets even though she loses every time.

ʚɞ Her childhood dream was to become a fashion designer or makeup stylist.

✩ Robert "Bob" Paulson

ʚɞ Is a huge sweetheart before and after joining Fight Club.

ʚɞ A great listener, but cries when you cry. He's very empathetic.

ʚɞ Discreetly purchases a binder for his chest because he's insecure :(

ʚɞ Keeps a notepad of dad jokes in his pocket to spread a little joy and positivity.

✩ Angel Face

ʚɞ Loves competing for attention. If he doesn't get it, he'll whine and whine until he does.

ʚɞ Annoying like 90% of the time, but for that other 10% he goes void because he's wondering about what he's doing with his life.

ʚɞ Serious anxious attachment issues. This baby will NOT leave a toxic, manipulative, and/or abusive person because even a drop of affection is all he craves.

ʚɞ Has some level of body dysmorphia.

[pluckyredhead]

Character Profile: Eddie Bloomberg (Kid Devil/Red Devil)

Some of you could probably see this one coming. I have an Eddie fic ready to share with you very soon, but for those of you who have no idea who I’m talking about, I figured I should fill you in. So here he is! The sweetest little devil in the DCU!

Eddie Bloomberg debuted in the 1984 Blue Devil series. Blue Devil is Dan Cassidy, a Hollywood stuntman/special effects artist who was cursed by a demon and trapped in a devil costume forever. If he had been a Marvel character, he would be hated and feared etc, but since he lives in the DCU, it literally has no effect on his movie career. I love the DCU.

The producer of the movie Dan is making when he’s cursed is Marla Bloom (real name: Marlene Bloomberg), a somewhat manic but fiercely loyal visionary. Her nephew, Eddie, is a gofer on set and in fact is only known as “Gopher” for quite a few issues of Blue Devil before anyone uses his actual name. Eddie is teeny tiny in this series - logically he’s probably no younger than 12, since he’s allowed to actually have a job on set, but the writing and art, especially his little OshKosh B’gosh green overalls, make him seem younger, more in the 8-10 range.

(Note: It is never explicitly stated that Eddie and Marla are Jewish, but their last name, and Marla changing her name upon arriving in Hollywood, are such obvious clues that I wouldn’t even consider it coding or subtext. It might be missed by people who aren’t familiar with Jewish names or the long history of Jewish people changing said names to make it in Hollywood - which, trust me, is as antisemitic as anywhere else - but they are Jewish. This will have some HIGHLY PROBLEMATIC IMPLICATIONS further down the line, but we’ll get there.)

Eddie’s hero worship of Dan leads him to make his own costume, plus a “trident” (Dan has one too and that’s what they both call it, but you guys, you are devils, not mermen. They’re pitchforks.) that he uses to fly, which, UM??? Eddie is apparently a genius and no one ever comments on it?

Eddie is probably best known these days in fandom for his extremely brief (it’s a four page story) friendship with Jason Todd in his Robin days. They are PEN PALS and they team up to catch a jewel thief and it’s so damn cute:

But not too long after this, Blue Devil was canceled, and Eddie faded into obscurity. That is, until he showed up on the Teen Titans 20 years later, looking like this:

Eddie is now 17, and the intervening years have been extraordinarily shitty for him.

First, his Aunt Marla was like “Hey, I talked your parents into letting you stay with me indefinitely, because I love you!” and it took him years to realize that actually, his parents had suggested he stay in Hollywood because they didn’t want him.

Then Marla died in a freak helicopter crash, because some safety lights that should have been on were out. Eddie struggled to keep a job after that, since he’s not actually very good at being a gopher/PA. (Why he was allowed to live on his own/work/not go to school as a minor is not explained.)

He decided to focus on being a superhero, but no one wants a kid in a devil suit with no powers, so that didn’t go so hot either. Eventually he got his chance when a mysterious hooded stranger gave him a black candle, which...Eddie, no. Lighting the candle took him to Neron, who is one of the DCU’s several versions of the devil, specifically the one who makes Faustian bargains with characters.

Neron asked Eddie who he trusted the most in the world, and Eddie said Blue Devil. Neron offered Eddie a deal: he would give Eddie powers, and in exchange, if Eddie ever lost his trust in Blue Devil, his soul would belong to Neron on his 20th birthday. Eddie, thinking nothing could shake his faith in his hero, agreed.

And then Neron told him that Blue Devil killed Marla.

This was in fact completely true. Years ago, Dan had made a deal with Neron: fame in exchange for destroying a power station in the middle of nowhere. Dan, assuming no one would be hurt, agreed. The power station being down was the reason the warning lights were out during Marla’s helicopter crash. Dan never told anyone the truth about her death.

Eddie refuses to believe him, because after all, Neron is a demon and demons lie. He goes on to finally join the Teen Titans as the happy go lucky comic relief/loser. But it weighs on him, and finally he confronts Dan:

Eddie realizes to his horror that his soul is now forfeit to Neron on his 20th birthday, which is less than three years away. But he doesn’t want anyone to pity him, and he doesn’t want to spend the next three years being miserable, so he doesn’t tell anyone (except his friend Zachary Zatara, who was there when he met Neron), and continues to be the sweet, seemingly happy-go-lucky comic relief of the 2000s-era Titans. EDDIE MY DARLING. 😭

I do want to pause here to talk about the implications of Eddie’s transformation. Like I said earlier, Eddie is Jewish. Even if that’s never confirmed in the comics, even if he isn’t religious (we have no evidence one way or the other), Eddie is at the very least ethnically Jewish on his father’s side. This is the extremely clear intent of his (also Jewish) creators.

Jewish people having horns, and just generally being associated with devils, is a very, very old stereotype dating back to the Middle Ages. It was used in Nazi propaganda. I’m a millennial, and I know Jewish people my age who have been asked where their horns are. It is a living stereotype, and an incredibly dangerous one.

I am...let’s say 90% sure that giving a Jewish character horns was a genuine mistake? Maybe Geoff Johns, who wrote that storyline, didn’t realize that “Bloomberg” was a Jewish last name. Maybe he wasn’t familiar with the stereotype. But I can rattle off a whole list of shockingly racist things that man has written by (maybe) accident, and he was one of the people Ray Fisher called out for racism during the filming of Justice League, so...who knows. I love Eddie, I love the devil version of him, but I also don’t trust Geoff Johns an inch, and am generally very uncomfortable with the implications of this particular transformation. (Also, like...cramming a Jewish character into Christian mythology like this is still pretty gross. Jews don’t believe in Hell.)

Eddie has a lengthy tenure on the Titans, from the mid-2000s almost all the way to the New 52. Like I said before, he’s largely comic relief/the “loser” team member who thinks no one likes him (and some characters are pretty relentlessly contemptuous of him, particularly Cassie and Tim during their era of being written horribly OOC at all times). He’s also incredibly self-sacrificing - at one point a villain tries to kill him but accidentally absorbs his curse instead, and Eddie insists on taking it back, because he can’t let anyone suffer in his place, even a rando who tried to murder him for no reason. EDDIE MY LOVE.

And he does have friends! Aside from his friendship with Zachary Zatara (who isn’t really on the team), he’s particularly close with Miss Martian and Blue Beetle.

And then there’s Rose Wilson, Ravager. She joins the team right around the same time Eddie does, and he very obviously has a massive crush on her. Rose equally obviously does not really know how to relate to people in an honest and healthy way, so she veers wildly between flirting with Eddie, being scathingly cruel to him, opening up to him in a way she doesn’t with anyone else, and going feral to protect him.

Also, this happens:

I have never recovered.

Eddie eventually loses his powers when he’s bitten by Brother Blood, because sure, why not? A trip to Hell confirms that not only is he free of his obligation to Neron, but he never actually signed a contract in the first place - Neron simply activated Eddie’s latent metagene, which...turned him into a demon for reasons but can be mystically deactivated, apparently? Look, there’s no time to make sense, Eddie has a noble sacrifice to get to!

Eddie is happy to be free of Hell, obviously, but he’s now stuck being support staff for the Titans, since he doesn’t have any powers. Rose, who had left the team a while back, returns and tries to get Eddie to leave with her, since it’s dangerous to be powerless around superheroes. He turns her down. EDDIE, NO.

Literally the next issue, a riot breaks out on Alcatraz, which is a supervillain prison in the DCU. While the Titans are fighting the supervillains, Eddie is tricked by the Calculator into flying out to the island in the T-Jet to try to find a nuke. When he discovers that the nuke is just a man with radioactive powers who is melting down and minutes from exploding, he gets the man into the T-Jet and flies it as high as possible before the explosion, saving the Titans, Alcatraz, and San Francisco.

😭😭😭

Eddie stayed dead for the next year or so, and then the New 52 happened. He appeared in one issue as Blue Devil’s godson in the New 52; then returned for one more issue with his powers intact in Rebirth.

And then he died at Sanctuary in Heroes in Crisis, because apparently if you’re a redheaded friend of Jason Todd with a penchant for backwards baseball caps, you’re gonna die in HiC.

We haven’t seen Eddie since, so it’s anyone’s guess whether he was brought back to life by Infinite Frontier or not. I choose to believe he was, because I love him and I say so.

If you want to read about Eddie, your best bet is the 2003 Teen Titans series. It’s, like...pretty bad, but it’s also the lion’s share of Eddie’s appearances, and he’s extremely lovable. If you’re looking for fic, I'm mostly familiar with stories where he appears as Jason’s bestie. Eddie Fucking Bloomberg by chucklesbuckles makes me laugh every time I read it. Eddie also has small but delightful roles in the longer JayRoy fics i wish i was by @shhhenanigans​ and gentle on my mind (the actual world) by @hamjay​. And Burning my defenses by the shaking of her hips is some excellent Rose/Eddie by @macabrekawaii​.

(Also, I have a fic about him coming next week! Stay tuned!)

In conclusion: don’t cry. Baby Eddie in Tiny Titans, okay?

[sunnyhoneyshimmermagic]

here it is, everyone! the official (and not without mistakes but fuck it this is the best anyone will ever get) appearance tracker of EVERY BIG NATE CHARACTER (that matters at least a little bit, also I forgot Rusty sienna r.i.p)

THE TOP 10:

Nate: 11,106

2. Francis: 4,166

3. Teddy: 2,936

4. Marty: 1,541

5. Mrs. Godfrey: 890

6. Chad: 691

7. Ellen: 583

8. Mr. Rosa: 537

9. Gina: 506

10. Jenny: 427

Rounding out the top 20:

11. Dee Dee: 358

12. Artur: 343

13. Coach Calhoon: 339

14. Spitsy: 304

15. Principal Nichols: 255

16. School Picture Guy: 219

17. Sheila: 202

18. Coach John: 164

19. Gramps/Vern: 163

20. Mr. Glavin: 152

MORE THAN A 100 APPEARANCES:

21. Dr. Cesspool: 150

22. Gordie: 147

23. Ms. Clarke: 145

24. Czerwicki: 139

25. Kim: 119

26. Biff: 116

27. Gram/Marge: 107

STILL PRETTY MAJOR:

28. Chip: 99

29. Chester: 97

30. Mrs. Shipulski: 95

31. Peter: 92

32. Pickles: 91

33. Randy: 81

GETTING THERE:

34. Nate drawing of Mrs. Godfrey where she doesn’t appear: 74

35. Nurse Maureen Biology: 72

36. Angie: 71

37. Trudy: 67

38. Dan Cupid: 65

39. Uncle Ted: 64

40. Mr. Staples: 62

40. Daphne: 62

42. Nate drawing of Ellen where she doesn’t appear: 61

43. Mr. Eustis: 60

44. Bob Snuggles: 51

44. Kelly: 51 

46. Sherman: 50

47. Moe Mentum: 46

48. Marcus: 42

49. Miranda: 41

YEAH THESE ARE GETTING OBSCURE NOW:

50. Kenny Smithson: 39

50. Timmy Snuggles: 39

52. Nate drawing of Marty where he doesn’t appear: 38

53. Honey Snuggles: 35

54. Punkin Snuggles: 34

55. J.B.: 33

56. Nate drawing of Francis where he doesn’t appear: 27

57. Superdad: 24

58. Derek Nack: 20

59. Daisy: 19

59. Warren Fuzzy: 19

61. Mrs. Bigbee: 18

61. Nate drawing of Teddy where he doesn’t appear: 18

63. Slim Stubby: 15

63. Nate drawing of Jenny where she doesn’t appear: 15

65. Nate drawing of Kenny Smithson where he doesn’t appear: 14

65. Wayne: 14

65. Whitey: 14

68. The Brain (Chess Camp): 13

68. Lila: 13

68. Nate drawing of Mr. Rosa where he doesn’t appear: 13

71. Action Cat: 12

72. Audrey the Lifeguard: 11

72. Nate drawing of Mr. Galvin where he doesn’t appear: 11

72. Hickson: 11

72. Craig (incel): 11

76. Paige: 10

76. Nate drawing of Mr. Staples where he doesn’t appear: 10

76. Nigel (doppleganger): 10

THE BOTTOM OF THE BARREL:

79. Ronnie (Jenny’s Boyfriend): 9

80. Nate drawing of Gordie where he doesn’t appear: 8

80. Wink Summers: 8

80. Nate drawing of Nate where he doesn’t appear: 8

83. Kit: 7

83. Kaboodle: 7

83. Stan Cupid: 7

83. Emmit the Custodian: 7

87. Marla the Mailwoman: 6

88. Claire Voyant: 5

88. Fluffy Snuggles: 5

88. Nate drawing of Coach Calhoon where she doesn’t appear: 5

88. Nate Drawing of Ms. Clarke where he doesn’t appear: 5

92. Moe Mentum’s Agent: 4

92. Greg Proxmire: 4

92. Leo Tard: 4

92. She-Pulski: 4

92. Nate drawing of Principal Nichols where he doesn’t appear: 4

97. Jenny’s Dad: 3

97. Celine Paycheck: 3

97. Math Man: 3

97. Half-Pint: 3

97. Mrs. Holloway: 3

97. Stan Pokecheck: 3

97. Deke Boarding: 3

104. Nate drawing of Sheila where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. April Showers: 2

104. Mega Teen: 2

104. Ms. Brindle: 2

104. Nate drawing of La Chance where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Nate drawing of Gina where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Nate drawing of Pickles where she doesn’t appear: 2

104. Daphne’s mom: 2

112. Jenny’s Mom: 1

112. Nate drawing of ronnie where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Ms. Brindle where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Aldrige where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Wink Summers where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Mrs. Williger: 1

112. Nate drawing of Uncle Ted where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Spitsy where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Ultra Nate: 1

112. Algebro: 1

112. Nate drawing of Artur where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Chester where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Mr. Holloway: 1

112. Nate drawing of Randy where he doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Kim where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Dee Dee where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Daphne where she doesn’t appear: 1

112. Nate drawing of Chad where he doesn’t appear: 1

Questions and replies are more than welcome! This list will update every Sunday when an arc is "over"!

[rascalcurious]

today i have some recolours of @kumikya​ ‘s aria set, converted to sims 2 by @platinumaspiration​ . the textures i used are from spoonflower. these are for adult females only and there are 10 swatches. the set includes a top (modelled by delilah) and a skirt (modelled by marla)

download: SFS / MF

i hope you enjoy these recolours <3

swatch

[spacetimewithstuartgary]

Faintest known star system orbiting the Milky Way discovered

A team of astronomers led by the University of Victoria and Yale University has detected an ancient star system traveling around our galaxy named Ursa Major III / UNIONS 1 (UMa3/U1)—the faintest and lowest-mass Milky Way satellite ever discovered, and possibly one of the most dark matter-dominated systems known. The team conducted the study from Hawaiʻi using two Maunakea Observatories on Hawaiʻi Island—W. M. Keck Observatory and Canada-France-Hawaiʻi Telescope (CFHT)—as well as the University of Hawaiʻi Institute for Astronomy Pan-STARRS (Panoramic Survey Telescope and Rapid Response System) on Haleakalā, Maui; the findings are published in a recent edition of The Astrophysical Journal.

"UMa3/U1 is located in the Ursa Major (Great Bear) constellation, home of the Big Dipper. It is in our cosmic backyard, relatively speaking, at about 30,000 light-years from the sun," says Simon Smith, an astronomy graduate student at the University of Victoria and lead author of the study. "UMa3/U1 had escaped detection until now due to its extremely low luminosity."

Observations reveal the stellar system is tiny, with only about 60 stars that are over 10 billion years old, spanning just 10 light-years across. UMa3/U1 has an extremely low mass—at 16 times the mass of the sun, it is 15 times less massive than the faintest suspected dwarf galaxy.

UMa3/U1 was first detected using data obtained from the Ultraviolet Near Infrared Optical Northern Survey (UNIONS) at CFHT and Pan-STARRS.

The team then studied the star system in finer detail using Keck Observatory's Deep Imaging Multi-Object Spectrograph (DEIMOS) and confirmed UMa3/U1 is a gravitationally-bound system, either a dwarf galaxy or a star cluster.

"There are so few stars in UMa3/U1 that one might reasonably question whether it's just a chance grouping of similar stars. Keck was critical in showing this is not the case," says co-author Marla Geha, professor of astronomy and physics at Yale University. "Our DEIMOS measurements clearly show all the stars are moving through space at very similar velocities and appear to share similar chemistries."

"Excitingly, a tentative spread in velocities among the stars in the system may support the conclusion that UMa3/U1 is a dark matter-dominated galaxy—a tantalizing possibility we hope to scrutinize with more Keck observations," says Yale University graduate student Will Cerny, the second author of the study.

How these stars have managed to stay a tight-knit group is remarkable. One possible explanation is that dark matter may be keeping them together.

"The object is so puny that its long-term survival is very surprising. One might have expected the harsh tidal forces from the Milky Way's disk to have ripped the system apart by now, leaving no observable remnant," says Cerny. "The fact that the system appears intact leads to two equally interesting possibilities. Either UMa3/U1 is a tiny galaxy stabilized by large amounts of dark matter, or it's a star cluster we've observed at a very special time before its imminent demise."

With the former scenario, achieving direct confirmation of UMa3/U1 as a faint, ancient, dark matter-dominated satellite star system would be an exciting feat because it would support a prediction in the leading theory for the universe's origin.

Under the Lambda Cold Dark Matter (LCDM) model, scientists hypothesize that when galaxies like the Milky Way first formed, they created a gravitational pull during their assembly process that attracted hundreds of satellite star systems that continue to orbit galaxies today.

A companion study on UMa3/U1's implications on the LCDM theory has been accepted for publication in The Astrophysical Journal and is available in preprint format on the arXiv server.

"Whether future observations confirm or reject that this system contains a large amount of dark matter, we're very excited by the possibility that this object could be the tip of the iceberg—that it could be the first example of a new class of extremely faint stellar systems that have eluded detection until now," says Cerny.

Conclusive evidence of the presence or lack of dark matter in UMa3/U1 is key to determining whether the star system is a dwarf galaxy or a star cluster. Until its classification becomes clear, Ursa Major III / UNIONS 1 has two names. Ultra-faint Milky Way satellites are typically named after the constellation they are discovered in (in this case, Ursa Major), whereas ultra-faint star clusters are generally named after the survey project they were discovered in (UNIONS).

While this star system's identity is still ambiguous, UMa3/U1 paves the way for new perspectives in cosmology.

"This discovery may challenge our understanding of galaxy formation and perhaps even the definition of a 'galaxy'," says Smith.

IMAGE....Hidden in this deep sky image (left) is Uma3/U1, a minuscule group of stars (right) bound together by their own gravity (and possibly even dark matter!) in orbit around the Milky Way. Credit: CFHT/S. Gwyn (right) / S. Smith (left). The Astrophysical Journal (2024). DOI: 10.3847/1538-4357/ad0d9f

[wlw-webcomic-bracket]

THE WLW WEBCOMIC COUPLES BRACKET

Your nominations are in, your votes have been counted, and the WLW Webcomic Couples Bracket is assembled! There are 64 entries, broken up for early rounds into eight groups of eight couples or poly ships.

It will take me a while to find images to use in the polls, so keep the propaganda coming while I get them ready! (And if your propaganda includes original images from the webcomic that I can use, it will help the process go that much faster.) A text version of the matchups, along with a short note on seeding, is below the cut.

<3

The bracket is lightly seeded - the eight couples or ships with 10-15 nominations each were given the first seed in each group, then couples with 3-7 nominations were given second through fourth seed, and the remaining slots were filled by couples with two nominations. The exception is a handful of cases in which two couples from a single webcomic qualified, in which case they will go up against each other in the first round regardless of seeding.

First-round matchups are as follows:

Group 1

Undine and Kokoro (Sleepless Domain) vs Aarya and Liza (Facing the Sun)

Dani and Christy (My Dragon Girlfriend) vs Tess and Mira (Seven Days in Silverglen)

Sun and Babs (Unfamiliar) vs Arachne and Scarlet (Bugtopia)

Adrian and Hildegard (A&H Club) vs Mia and Grace (On a Sunbeam)

Group 2

Boo and Mimi (Rainbow!) vs Mina and Valerie (Paranatural)

Aya and Mitsuki (The Guy She Was Interested In Wasn't a Guy at All) vs Radiant Goddess and Acolyte (Lady of the Shard)

Almond and Peridot (Cucumber Quest) vs Sylvia and Jerry (Charity Case)

Becky and Dina (Dumbing of Age) vs Beau and Julie (Offbeat)

Group 3

Camille, Dendro, and Nyra (Muted) vs Jen and Rocker (Starward Lovers)

Daphne and Veronika (Lesbiampires) vs Claire and Robin (Hard Lacquer)

Sapphia and Odette (High Class Homos) vs Sapphia and Marla (High Class Homos)

Evie and Jack (Pandora's Devils) vs Faye and Bubbles (Questionable Content)

Group 4

Sunati and Austen (Almost Human) vs Honey Hart and Turpentine (Band vs Band)

Mari and Mica (The Four of Them) vs Fiona and Lia (YU+ME: Dream)

Tara and Darcy (Heartstopper) vs Shiina and Mimi (My Wish Is to Fall In Love Until You Die)

Hotaru, Kayla, and Elise (Shootaround) vs Selva and Alice (Namesake)

Group 5

Rose and Kanaya (Homestuck) vs Alex and Lucky (Finding Wonderland)

Delilah and Cheryl (I Want to Be a Cute Anime Girl) vs Hazel and Willie (A Week in Warrigilla)

Allison and Cio (Kill Six Billion Demons) vs Shim Chong and Madam Jang (Her Tale of Shim Chong)

Nell and Jolie (Cursed Princess Club) vs Tabitha and Poppy (Vampire Girlfriends)

Group 6

Lenore and Annabel Lee (Nevermore) vs Mica, Liv, and Red (The Greenhouse)

Ludovica and Luck (Tiger, Tiger) vs Jock, Prep, Nerd, and Goth (Boyfriends)

Roomie and Lillian (Go Get a Roomie) vs Lola and Sugar (Drop-Out)

Kat and Paz (Gunnerkrigg Court) vs Zimmy and Gamma (Gunnerkrigg Court)

Group 7

Rei and Hanna (Not So Shoujo Love Story) vs Claudia and Ava (Console Her)

Quinn and Hana (Encore!) vs Rina and Noa (Us Right Now)

Sun Jing and Qiu Tong (Tamen De Gushi/Their Story) vs Eliza and Darcy (Wilde Life)

Charo and Alesea (Dame Daffodil) vs Sophia and Olivia (It's Okay to Like Girls)

Group 8

Malori and Velverosa (Mage & Demon Queen) vs Connie and Carla (Rock and Riot)

Isaline and Theodora (Isadora) vs Penny and Bianca (Sunflowers & Lavender)

Ellen and Nanase (El Goonish Shive) vs Catalina and Rhoda (El Goonish Shive)

Lili and Sera (Monsters and Girls) vs Mad Spade and Miss Sunshine (My Sweet Archenemy)

[paintedvanilla]

Heyy , I just wanted to say that your writing is amazing!! And i also wanted to ask if you're working on anything currently?

anon I’m so happy you sent this ask. first of all THANK YOU. that’s so sweet of you to say. second of all, I’m currently working on three fics for my silly little fight club au.

one of them is going to be 10 chapters total, but just this morning I decided I think I’m psyching myself out about it because I’ve been working really slow on it, so I’ve decided to put it on the back burner.

the fic I’m hoping to focus on right now is about how Tyler and the narrator get together in my au. I’m doing a VERY close reading of the film to write it, it’s basically The Events Of The Movie interspersed with my own ideas about the narrators internal monologue, up until I split away from the canon.

and then I have a secret third fic that is going to be very Marla centric that I’m very excited about. :3

[livinginshambles]

Preview: I thought you'd be different | James Potter

Pairing: James Potter x Fem!Slytherin!Reader

Summary: A Cinderella Story, but Hogwarts. (Enemies? to lovers)

Notes: Sorry I've been mia; i wrote this today, it's all I have so the full fic will probably take a while, not proofread, mistakes blah blah, enjoy!

PS. I am currently no longer making a taglist because I can't keep up with it, I'm really sorry!

Masterlist. Taglist

------------------------------------

You could still remember the moment vividly, as if it was engraved in your memory.

That moment when the sorting hat placed you in Slytherin instead of Gryffindor like your two older sisters had been sorted. You could still see the look of surprise, concern, horror and then eventually disgust, every time you closed your eyes.

“Now we finally know your true colors,” is what you sister Alyssa had hissed coldly at you. You had pleadingly looked at your other sister, but Marla had supported her twin sister, disregarding the confused and scared look in your eleven-year-old eyes.

“Don’t talk to us, don’t look at us and don’t mention us at all,” she sneered down at you and for a moment you wondered how she hadn’t been the one to be sorted into Slytherin instead. But you had cast your eyes down and agreed.

But years passed and you had become the very stereotype of a Slytherin student, completely leaning into the cold, distant, quiet but calculating persona that your sisters had created for you. Might as well, you figured after your parent’s dismay at the revelation of your house.

You were making your way down the corridor, long strides as you passed your sisters while looking them straight in the eye. They grimaced at the sight of you, but without their entire group of classmates, they didn’t dare make any comments.

A feeling of victory erupted inside of you, and you couldn’t help the small smirk that crept up your face.

“What poor soul suffered for you to look so satisfied?” You turned your head to look at the person who called out to you. James Potter and Sirius Black were both leaning against a statue in the open yard.

“Did you get rid of Regulus or something?” Sirius taunted. “Finally had enough of him following you around, did you L/N?”

“Go die in a ditch, Sirius,” you retorted with an eyeroll, but seemed unphased.

“Why so much hostility,” James unpleasantly remarked, and you halted in your step.

To be petty or not to be petty, you sighed and rolled your eyes.

“10 points from Gryffindor for loitering,” you decided.

The two marauders started to protest.

“If you have nothing to do, other than insulting students, I would love to recommend you to Professor McGonagall for detention. Heard she was still looking for the person who made all the pumpkins explode last week during Halloween, and you guys are terrible at getting rid of the evidence.” It effectively shut them up, and with a last glance up and down, you continued your way towards the room of requirement.

When you entered the sober room with a sigh, you noticed the small scrolled up piece of parchment in the middle of the room. You frowned. This was your space. The room didn’t open this space for anyone else, you made it specifically as a safe haven.

You cautiously approached the parchment and rolled it open to reveal nothing. It was completely blank. You shrugged. If the room left this here, it was meant for you, and so you took a seat and started drawing on it.

James sat in an empty room, his invisibility cloak hiding him from plain sight as he pulled the now folded paper from his back pocket. He inspected it closely, almost pressing the paper to his glasses in a curious manner.

He had gone to the Room of Requirements earlier that day and found a piece of paper floating in the air. Of course, levitating stuff wasn't that strange, but it had intrigued him nonetheless.

James unfolded the paper, and his eyebrows flew up. Lines were appearing on the paper by itself, and a beautiful portrait of a weeping willow with a girl who was crying on a bench under the tree, appeared.

James fumbled to find his quill and ink. Then he started to write something on it, in a handwriting that he only ever used for written exams.

(Credits to Professor McGonagall who had announced that she would not be grading anything she couldn’t read. And she had looked over her glasses at him while she said it.)

It’s beautiful.

You dropped the parchment at the words that formed right under your drawing. You traced it with your fingers. Then you decided to write back.

Full fic

[horizon-verizon]

You know what truly annoys me in ASOIAF ? That there are no queen regnants apart from Rhaenyra and that was a disaster in terms of what happened [and the fact that she was ignored as such and disputed if she was one]. Sure, we’ve had regents here and there [Sharra Arryn, Johanna Lannister, Jeyne Arryn, Lysa Arryn] and a few other ladies who ruled as lords, but that’s not the same, and the Iron Throne only had Alyssa Velaryon and Cersei Lannister as queens regents. And, again, a regent’s power is limited and with the understanding that her time will end when her son will take his throne. (There’s obviously iconic queen regents such as Catherine de’ Medici or Isabella of France)

[To be fair, there are “queens” regnant in Dorne, princesses, technically speaking, such as Doran’s mother, but even though it was never “conquered” by the Targaryens and the rules that apply to the rest of the kingdoms do not apply to Dorne, they are still subservient to the Iron Throne.]

And the thing is that although GRRM is using historical inspiration, it is taken into a fantasy realm where you don’t have to stick to the rules of our reality and history. England had two queens regnants in a row, Mary I and Elizabeth I, and both women were legally bastards. That is the single point of my thought is that it is his choice, as a writer, not to have any queen regnants even in pre-ASOIAF or prior to Aegon’s Conquest, and when he does [disputed] it is not a success [Rhaenyra’s story, I suppose, can be read as the Empress Matilda/Stephen of Blois struggle]. It’s his choice to turn Rhaenyra into the loser of that battle, his choice to have her set on fire and eaten alive in front of her 10-year-old son, his choice to have her remembered as a paranoid and cruel tyrant, a usurper or traitor as Stannis calls her. It is also his choice not to have another female heir. That could have easily been done in the past events.

*EDITED POST* 4/12/24

I answered another aks like this HERE (especially the reblog I made of it OR post). Basically, yes, he does do that bc the point is that Targ assimilation into Andal violent patriarchy is a key ingredient to the Targs' downfall and loss of dragons. Misogyny was one critical phenomenon in killing the dynasty after it already killed or ruined several of the dynasties' women.

Focusing on "That is the single point of my thought is that it is his choice, as a writer, not to have any queen regnants even in pre-ASOIAF or prior to Aegon’s Conquest, and when he does [disputed] it is not a success [Rhaenyra’s story, I suppose, can be read as the Empress Matilda/Stephen of Blois struggle]. It’s his choice to turn Rhaenyra into the loser of that battle, his choice to have her set on fire and eaten alive in front of her 10-year-old son, his choice to have her remembered as a paranoid and cruel tyrant, a usurper or traitor as Stannis calls her. It is also his choice not to have another female heir. That could have easily been done in the past events."

I think some of us struggle with GRRM's insistence on "historical precedence" vs how he decides to use such events to end up with condensed re-imaginings and visions of these events through ASoIaF. Because he does well enough for us to notice his flaws or him limiting himself to what exactly anon is pointing out.

A) No Queen Regnants

1.

There were Andal-FM lady "regnants" or queen regnants in the various kingdoms before the Conquest, but as you state, they are either nameless or violently murdered/attacked/or denied leadership (Shiera Blackwood, Agnes Blackwood, Argella Durrandon, Marla Sunderland, etc.) GRRM is very guilty of featuring/showing/giving names or attention to those women who were deposed, put aside for any succession dispute, or violently put aside/murdered/mutilated for his female lady & queen regnants--either/both Targ or pre-Conquest Andal-FM women. And in association or necessary plot event to a man gaining power.

I already mentioned Rhaena (Alyssa Velaryon & Aenys I's firstborn child) in the linked post above but only for her w/Jaehaerys' decisions and not Aenys or Aegon I's decisions that made a female claim lose to her younger brother, Aegon the Uncrowned, when considering who'd succeed after Aenys.

This is how it happened "The Sons of the Dragon":

I also did not explain how this would have happened in that linked post.

Rhaena was born only two generations (23 A.C., "After Conquest", so 23 years after their Conquest) after the conquerors conquered Westeros, and unified it under their own new hegemony. We can see during Aenys' reign that the Faith expected the Targs to put away their incestuous sibling marriage custom and stick to first-cousin-to-unrelated Andal-Faith-approved marriages. They were very willing to militarize themselves against the Targs after Aenys announced Rhaena & her brother's marriage AND after Maegor took more than one wife after Ceryse Hightower didn't birth any kids. But even before all that, Visenya was even one to suggest not allowing Rhaena to be the heir apparent, but marrying her to Maegor to "combine" their claims while making Maegor the next in line for succession.

For the story & timeline GRRM created, yes he chose to make the 2 living conquering Targaryen rulers choose to make the succession less open to a female ruler for political convenience & Targayren-dynasty surety.

2.

But you: "And the thing is that although GRRM is using historical inspiration, it is taken into a fantasy realm where you don’t have to stick to the rules of our reality and history. England had two queens regnants in a row, Mary I and Elizabeth I, and both women were legally bastards."

Nothing against you, anon, but after you say "it's taken into the fantasy realm where you don't have to stick to the rules of our reality and history"...

you then go on to use Mary I & Elizabeth I ("our reality and history") to point out why we should have had more female monarchs specifically on the Iron Throne in Westeros. And neither of these women ruled when Henry already had a male heir in Edward VI, younger than them both. So it seems we are returning to using historical precedent to justify more women becoming rulers in their own, more little-to-uncontested and unshared right.

there were de jure medieval queen or lady regnants, some of them actually practicing real power and celebrated by some contemporary chroniclers--esp if they ruled well to (some) their standards OR they were co-rulers to husbands OR were seen as "helping" them rule: Urraca de León, Empress of "Spain" [1109 – 1126]; Isabella I of Castile and León [1474–1504]; *her daughter, Juana I of Castile [1504 –1555]; *Æthelflæd of Mercia [911–918 AD]; her daughter, Ælfwynn [918]; Mary of Hungary & Croatia [1382-1385; 1386-1395]; Jadwiga of Poland [1384–1399]; Tamar of Georgia [1184-1213]; her daughter Rusudan of Georgia, after her brother [1223–1245]; Claudine, Lady regnant of Monaco [1457–1458]; Joanna I of Naples, similar ascension story to Rhaenyra [1343–1382]; Joanna II of Naples [1414-1435]; Amalasuintha the Ostrogoths, who was deposed & killed after only a few months [534-535]; Petronilla of Aragon [1137-1164]; Berengaria of Castile [6 June – 31 August 1217]; *Blanche I, Queen regnant of Navarre [1425-1441]; Eleanor of Navarre [January 1479–February 1479]; *Catherine of Navarre [*1483, but really kinda 1494-1517 and even her rule is debatable]

the period after the medieval era is the "early modern period", when Henry, Mary, Edward, and Elizabeth all ruled England and when the original proceedings for a more powerful sort of monarch began, a pseudo-absolute monarch in England...while under Henry VIII this absolution was more concrete as he directed it more than it directed him, "ruling" his break away from the Church to become the head of England affected how much ability his kids would have to rule according to their circumstances

Mary & Elizabeth's legitimacy was reinstated by the Parliament passing the 3rd Act of Succession of 1543 so no they were no longer "bastards" -- but in Westeros, there has been no incident--extant or accepted -- where a parent delegitimizes their own child even though the parents were undoubtedly married, reverses it, and neither does Westeros have anything like a Parliament or a branch of government that in any way "checks" the monarch nor does this supposed body have the governemental power over the land...as Westeros never has nor has not a constitutional monarchy. It was also not exactly like a pre-17th century commonwealth, where the idea is that the state's government is for the "public welfare, general good or advantage", which even then is practically "an association of self-governing autonomous states more or less loosely associated in a common allegiance (as to the British crown)". Presumably, no one has ever tried, which doesn't mean they couldn't if they had the mind and practical ability to do so, as Henry VIII did. Plus no council or legislative body can just rule for the reinstatement of two female claimants. The regents surrounding Aegon III, Unwin Peake, and his own council are not the same as a Parliamant or voting body. Even after Pope Pius VI declared Elizabeth illegitimate in 1570 in response to the failed Catholic uprising and attempt to bring her cousin Mary, Queen of Scots in the Rising of the North of 1569, Elizabeth continued to rule because other Catholic rulers didn't think it a pragmatic measure to take, instead encouraging more religious persecution of Catholics in England AND "provoked the English government into taking more repressive actions against the Jesuits, whom they feared to be acting in the interests of Spain and the papacy. This reaction soon seemed justified: it was the publication in England of Pius's exhortation that gave the impetus in 1571 to the Ridolfi plot, in which the Duke of Norfolk was to kidnap or murder Queen Elizabeth, install Mary, Queen of Scots, on the throne, and then become de facto king by marrying her". The pope after Pius declared Catholics in England should obey Elizabeth. We don't have something this convoluted in Westeros because we just have Westeros as the "EU" monarchial power.

Again, England's monarchy had separated itself from the papacy's influence when in 1534 Henry VIII declared himself the head of the new English church through the Act of Supremacy, got involved with the English Reformation of the Church and its practices, and divorced himself from Catherine of Aragon to marry Elizabeth's mother Anne Boleyn. Meanwhile, Westeros' "papacy" is still very and officially a power in Westeros of its own right at the moment of Aegon-Aenys-Maegor. All this to say that England wouldn't have or would have had a less probability of getting its two queens without Henry breaking away from the Church altogether & limiting his succession options.

Westeros is styled more after a feudal monarchy, where the "rules" are bound more by individuals' power & ideals of leadership and is modeled more from England-France-Germany (northern EU) and Dorne is like a Spanish-Italian state that came under the Westerosi monarchy not because they lost any battle but because of a few diplomatic meetings plus some "lower" level violence.

3.

You also mention the "Empress Matilda/Stephen of Blois struggle"; yes, the Dance mirrors the 1138–1153 Anarchy civil war of England & Normandy. I would say that GRRM purposefully uses this specific event for the Dance to provide context for the stakes of Daenerys Stormborn's own claim and what she will have to face--the result of Rhaenyra losing precipitating the loss of cosmic and political balance not just for noblewomen ruling in Westeros or being safe(r) from abuse and gender violence, but also the loss of dragons for the Long Night/re-empowerment of the Others, as women having more autonomy and power is nearly synonymous with cosmic balance and potential political stability in ASoIaF's themes. Again, fantasy fiction using history as its base & really depends on the big strokes of how those real events -- who ruled in the beginning, what battles, who invaded whom, who ruled by the end.

Matilda the Empress did not die such a cruel or heinous death at her own brother or anything like it nor did her children die such gory deaths. Her son Henry Plantagenet/Henry II did not become this depressed ghost who could only receive happiness after marrying a girl whose beauty was as praised as his own mother's (Daenaera). The result of the anarchy was that Stephen of Blois became King, but Matilda's son became his designated heir over his own living son. He tried & failed to get his son Eustace to become his heir but Pope Eugene III refused, and Stephen got into a lot of intense arguments about it with the clergy... ironically Aegon II had an "easier" time of it since (if we argued that the Faith sent the Shepherd) he got rid of his "clergy" problem by just burning the Shepherd alive. This is what Wikipedia says:

Henry [Matilda's son] invaded England and built an alliance of powerful regional barons to support his claim for the throne. The two armies met at Wallingford, but neither side's barons were keen to fight another pitched battle. Stephen began to examine a negotiated peace, a process hastened by the sudden death of Eustace. Later in the year Stephen and Henry agreed to the Treaty of Winchester, in which Stephen recognised Henry as his heir in exchange for peace, passing over William, Stephen's second son. Stephen died the following year.

At the same time, Stephen of Blois got to rule for more than 10 years to Aegon's 2-yr, uncontested months-long rule. And instead of Aegon II ruling "peacefully", we get Corlys and Larys both plotting his assassination and paving the way for Aegon III PLUS Rhaenyra's supporters still trying to get Aegon off the throne after her death.

B) Legacy

1.

You're right that in fantasy we could have a lot more freedoms or changes AND we never even get to the sort of female rule/Queen regnant that even co-ruled with a man bc Rhaenyra is killed...

but the very acknowledgment of "changes" reveals that there is truth to how real historical accounts characterized, ignored, or left out critical details to make female monarchs or leaders seem to the less favorable option or to feed more into a particular male-prioritized agenda at the time of writing.

Even though some supported some women like Urraca and complimented her legacy there were still those main accounts against her or writing disfavorably of her, as I write about that HERE. poorpaintedshadowedqueens writes about sexist "historians" and some examples HERE:

For example, the Anglica Historia of Polydore Vergil, which dates from the first half of the 16th century, purports to cover the history of England from its mythological founding to the reign of Henry VIII. Vergil was actually quite meticulous about his sources and made decent efforts to incorporate a lot of different material, but especially as he gets closer to his own lifetime, his biases really begin to show. He includes a scandalous story about King Richard III lusting after his teenaged niece Elizabeth of York and poisoning his wife in order to marry her. Elizabeth, according to him, was disgusted by this prospect and swore she would kill herself before allowing him to dishonour her. But Vergil also includes the detail that Elizabeth’s own mother sent her daughters to court because “so mutable is that sexe” that she fell prey to Richard’s flattery.

Now, when Vergil first came to England, Elizabeth of York was the queen, so he had to tread lightly when talking about events from her own history. But his job was also to make her husband King Henry VII look better, and his predecessor (from whom he’d usurped the crown) look worse, so Elizabeth became a tool Vergil used to blacken Richard III’s reputation.

How does Rhaenyra become more remembered as more paranoid and cruel? Through the book, Fire & Blood's amalgamation of different accounts told both during and after the Dance, with only 3-4 account-tellers being used before the Dance. But before the book existed & Gyldayn wrote it (at the latest, Robert's rule), only these myriad and often conflicting but not first-hand witnessed accounts told Rhaenyra's story. And still, we know that it is only after Rhaenyra raises the taxes on the King's Landing'ers that she's been called "Maegor with Teats". Finally, the maesters have always been in league or supportive of both the Faith/House Hightower bc the Hightowers patronize the Citadel and have had its members joining both the Citadel or the Faith institution, even a few becoming High Septons. There is and is going to be some heavy bias against the female dragonriding Targ who pushes for her claim to the throne. Something the majority nor the most vocal of fans (esp men) have not truly analyzed or considered. Aegon II is not even remembered that fondly.

2.

I also think that is important to consider how in the canonical memory of Rhaenyra being just a tyrant, it is men who claim such. Arianne Martell claims the throne was always hers. Both are trying to legitimize their own political campaigns for the throne, not just focusing on performing acts that have nothing to do w/the Iron Throne.

C) HOWEVER!!!

Yes, GRRM could have chosen to have at least one or two more generations between Maegor and Jaehaerys by making Aerea Queen, then her having a daughter who'd become queen but then only rules for a few years until deposed, then we have a Jaehaerys I figure (I would have done it this way) and we still retain this point about women not being allowed to rule...BUT then we'd have to then question how strong the impact of Rhaenyra's fall would have been though, with a single female monarch existing before her already.

[fire-fira]

Blue Devil #1

And here we see Eddie being theatrically dramatic, as he should be. (If Marla hasn't had Eddie as an extra in some of her movies when needed then I'll eat through a wall. 10/10 that kid spends so much time on movie sets that he has to have been at least an extra several times.)