#1000miles

[depicus]

Think you can tell I was being dragged round by star at that pace 🥰 #iloverunning #runchat #marathontraining #ultramarathontraining #applewatchultra #dhb #nike #2xu #stravaproveit #mimi #chocolatedalmatian #halfmarathontraining #fundayrunday #nikerunning #canicross #northdownscanicross #runningwithpower #1000miles #run2023 #hillspaythebills #nathanvaporkrar #sungod #sungodultra #herecomestheboom https://www.instagram.com/p/Cp7YdyMoO8W/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[soulinphotos]

[delicioustastygood]

Aloo Gobi. Winter Comfort Food!! #delicioustastygood #comfortfood #cauliflower #indianfood #foodie #potato #streetfood #foodporn #india #himalaya #1000miles #aroundtheworld #balkans #namibia #iceland #ght #challenges #bhutan #mekong #expeditions #journey #picoftheday #mongolia #scotlandisnow #desifood #homemade #delhifoodie #foodstagram #foodgasm #prakrutimishra https://www.instagram.com/p/CoAHvwVjRwr/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[monster-noises]

My ability to take a perfectly good day and make myself feel just So Bad for no reason ahould be Studied

[sadioradio]

What's really funny about this picture is that Asuna stole her brother's phone

[lotusfeather-and-bone]

Time for my obligatory Wednesday post to promote my friend's witchy podcast!

Happy Wednesday witches! The new episode of Cats and Cauldrons: 1000 Miles is up! And this week the girls are talking all things Halloween, witchy holidays and celebrations, and apparently bread? (@witchcastors is a Taurus, so it's to be expected)

[xphanuel]

-talking amongst friends-

Me singing: "CAUSE YOU KNOW I WOULD SHOOT YOU IN THE EYE IF I COULD HEAR THE BLAAKAAAAAT BLAKATKATKATKAT"

Boyfriend: "BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM BOOM that's the grenade launcher"

Me: "CHCHCCHHCH THATS THE SILENCER"

[housano]

I'm Back

I’m back and feel good enough to start posting again 

So to answer some questions you may have

CW: Death, Cancer, End of Life, Grief

What happened?

The short answer is one of my parents died. They have had a history of cancer for while. The Thursday prior to my last post, their speech was slurred when Iwetalked on the phone, which raised a lot of worry for me. My uncle, who is a physician in their area, agreed to keep a close eye on him until my sibling and I got home. The day before my last post, they kept falling and were taken to the ER, where they found that the cancer had metastasized, but they had to wait to see the oncologist on what the next steps were. The day of that post, my other parent’s friend answered my parents’ home phone and said 10 words that destroyed me:

“Your parent is on the phone with home hospice care”

Being 1000miles/1609km away, that told me I would most likely never see them again. The last hug I would give them was when I said goodbye at the airport last year. I had to rush back and find a private room at work to just cry.  My sibling managed to get home that weekend and check in on them as well as the hospice team and I asked them if I should come home sooner, and they said based on what was discussed and how they were doing, it would be okay to wait for my original departure time, roughly 2.5 weeks away, so I agreed to keep my original departure time. They unfortunately passed in their sleep a week before I was to depart and we were left with straightening out estate/legal matters as well as holding a funeral service right before Christmas.

How are you holding up now?

I’m doing a lot better that I was last time I was here. I needed time to get in touch with my emotions and wellbeing, and to process my own grief. The thing that sucks about hospice care is that it’s a sort of limbo where you’re just waiting for the other shoe to drop and you keep replaying if there was anything I regret. I have been asking myself “Was there anything else I could have said or done to show how much I cared?” and I can’t honestly think of anything else. Just wished I could have seen them one more time. Music, has been a tremendous support for me in this time, particularly The Cure has really helped me. I’ve also spent time with my family, and talking about our memories, both good and bad has been really helpful. When I return to my apartment, I’m going to look into bereavement counseling to help me as well. 

I’ve come to a place where I feel comfortable resuming social media and engaging once more. So as it stands, I’m almost back to normal, but still have a looming numbness and melancholic resignation of their absence. For now, I’m probably going to just like and reblog posts and then resume summarizing the Live a Hero Valentine event and probably do my top 20 albums of  2023 towards the end of January.

Is there anything we could do?

I’m okay for now and appreciate it you were wondering this. For those that expressed support or sent positive messages, I greatly appreciate it. For now, I prefer not to hear condolences. The pain lessens with each passing day and as I watched a sea of people walking about with their lives I’m reminded that even in heartache, life goes on.

[transgenderization]

got my universal credit call today but the guy calling me was doing it fucking 1000miles underground or something i coudlnt hear anythign he was saying U_U

[depicus]

Mia has worked out she can watch we leave if she sticks her head under the curtains but through home automation she knows when I’m home as the tv turns on so when I pulled into the drive her little face was there waiting ❤️❤️❤️ #iloverunning #runchat #marathontraining #ultramarathontraining #applewatchultra #dhb #nike #2xu #stravaproveit #mimi #chocolatedalmatian #halfmarathontraining #fundayrunday #nikerunning #canicross #northdownscanicross #runningwithpower #1000miles #run2023 #hillspaythebills #nathanvaporkrar #sungod #sungodultra #herecomestheboom https://www.instagram.com/p/CqNZoQjoj12/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[citric-sundown]

I would combust immediately within a 1000mile radius of either of these two. And the moment their radii merge, like a venn diagram, I will cease to exist on this mortal plane amen

[viciogame]

🎮 Great 1000 Miles Rally (Arcade)

Complete Gameplay: https://youtu.be/p4uZ_1DJ_10

#Great1000MilesRally #Arcade #Kaneko #GreatRally #1000Miles #MilleMiglia #1000Miglia #Rally #Race #Racer #Racing #Drive #Driver #Driving #Simulation #Simulator #GranTurismo #forza #アーケードゲーム #Viciogame #Gameplay #Walkthrough #Playthrough #Longplay #LetsPlay #Game #Videogames #Games

[gods-favorite-trickster]

when ur primary love language is touch but one bf lives 1000miles away and the other hates touch :(

[largebluepanda]

Crazy how this website brings people together. I flew 1000miles yesterday to go to the wedding of a friend I met through a shit post blog 6 years ago

[herecomesmary]

Tho my head have always been at 1000miles/hour, my life moves pretty slowly. Once I got the turtle card at a tarot deck and it made so much sense. Surrounded by rabbits, trying to walking at my own pace. I don't like being the turtle, having to persist all the time, to keep humble and consistent. I'm no good at either of those things. I see other people and think I'd wish I could be like that. Anything that's different from who I am. Anything thay could make me desirable.

I'm not the kind of person ppl want around for the sake of my company or even wish they could be like. I can be a good friend, sometimes, and that's it. My body has monstrous shapes, full of scars, not pretty to look at. My mind is deep and full of darkness. I think so much all the time about all aspects of life, if my thoughts were written constantly id have a gigantic library with an obscene amount of files. Most of the time I don't have a nice thing to say. I feel my heart is heavy and dirty, liking oil and infestuating its surroundings. I wouldn't like myself if i met me occasionally.

I feel disgusted when I eat, and a hard time drinking water cause it tastes like medication to me. I'm almost never in the present, I live constantly in made up scenarios imagining what I could be if I was different. I tried all the therapies, all the treatments, all the approaches that jumped off in from of me. Even though I somehow go back to rock bottom. I understand so well what frank ment with "I've seen rock bottom and it was love at very first sight". Some people belong in the deep.

I wanted to understand what Im made off, if there was any way to change anything. The urge of comprehension itches my skin everyday, so much I need to open it. Deeper everytime. I feel every person I know disappearing day by day. I see things becoming translucent. The mirror is confusing. And even being completely lunacy, I still tricky myself to believe I'll find happiness one day. Someone will love me and won't mind a person with such hideous features, and I'll live like the suns always shinning gently through the curtains.

Hallucination can be a hell of a tool to keep a person alive, I believe. Specially the turtle.