#2 bards and a monk walk into a bar

[kibbits]

Ok! Finally sketched their outfits! Ack, and forgot Jean (big fancy boy)’s romance novel fgjkldg he was. Not the most efficient guard.

Can’t guarantee when I’m gonna have time to ink (hopefully this weekend??? We’ll see) but here’s the final sketch with the perspective spirals of doom in the meantime hehe

[niqhtlord01]

Humans are Weird: D&D Part 3

( Please come see me on my new patreon and support me for early access to stories and personal story requests :D https://www.patreon.com/NiqhtLord Every bit helps) Human Barbarian: I roll to decapitate the shop keeper. Alien DM: Is there a reason you keep on decapitating LITERALLY everyone you meet? Barbarian: My character can’t die unless he falls in battle. Alien DM: But they aren’t battles if you kill them in one blow. Barbarian: True, but my guy has been around for hundreds of years and now just kills people for fun. Alien DM: *Looks at other party members* Is this normal? Wizard: Honestly it’s pretty tame for a barbarian. Rogue: At least he’s not the bard that became a necromancer. Alien: What happened with them? Wizard: They became a necromancer just so they could woo the woman that killed herself after talking to him. Alien: *Looks at Necromancer* Really? Necromancer: I was very proud of my seduction streak and I wasn’t about to let death break it. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien: Why do you always pick humanoid characters? Alien: Why not team up with something that is as large as a bear? Thief: We used to have a Loxodon fighter in the party, didn’t end well. Alien: What happened? Monk: We got trapped in a room flooding with water and only one way out. Warlock: The Loxodon insisted on going first through the doorway because they were afraid of water, but then became wedged in the tiny frame and couldn’t get free. Alien: How did you escape? Monk: We didn’t; we all drowned to death. Alien: If you all died then how are you here talking with me? Thief: Let’s just say we owe a man of questionable magic practices a lot of money. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warrior: Wizard, cast fireball on my sword! Alien Wizard: Why? Warrior: So it will catch on fire and do fire damage as well! DM: I’ll allow it. Alien Wizard: Okay. *rolls a nat 20* DM: Your fireball impacts the sword dead on and melts it instantly. Warrior: What? DM: What do you think happens to cheap metal after it’s been super-heated? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

DM: As you sift through the remains of the now fallen lich lord you come across his most powerful weapon. Alien players: *getting excited* DM: A cursed blade slaked in the blood of a thousand thousand victims, each one adding their strength to whomever wields this mighty blade; the most powerful weapon you have ever come across. Alien players: *Really excited now* Alien warrior: Does it have a name? DM: *Nods* It is called……the Bunny Fluffer. Alien warrior: What? You can’t be serious. DM: I did say it was a curse blade. Alien: How can a blade called the “Bunny Fluffer” be cursed?!? DM: Every time you use it in battle you must loudly announce that you are attacking with the bunny fluffer. Alien warrior: You monster! That’s so evi- Alien warrior: *Now realizing why it is cursed* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human: If I feed a Locathah sushi, am I committing a hate crime or unknowingly making them a cannibal? Alien DM: WTF man?!?!? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human DM: You find yourself in a very suspicious village. Alien: You can’t just label an entire town as suspicious. Human: Roll a perception check then. Alien: *Rolls 20* Human DM: You see the town square barren save for a giant stone slab at the very center, the surface of it covered in strange red glyphs that seem to bleed the longer you stare at it. Human DM: The towns people all full length cloaks that hide their appearance with hoods so deep you cannot make out a single detail of their faces. They speak no words nor make a sound as they shift and to and fro between the buildings. Human DM: You stare up at the sky and see it thick with grey clouds that appear to bulge and retract randomly as if they are holding something within. Alien: Alright, alright, we get it. Alien: No need to be so on the nose about it. Human: You walked passed a mass murder drenched in blood because one of you saw the bar tenders dog run outside and wanted to go pet it. Human DM: I take no chances now. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: You find yourself locked in the mansion, the body of the host laying across the ballroom floor as all the guests and staff look on. Alien DM: Any one of them could be the killer. Human Warlock: I say we lock all the doors and burn the house down. Human Paladin: What? Human Rogue: That’s a bit extreme. Warlock: Listen, I’ll cast a spell that will make anyone with a guilt free conscious fire resistant. Warlock: That way when the house is on fire only the killer will catch fire and everyone else would be safe. Rogue: I guess that might work…. Paladin: Still… Warlock: Look, I’ll even stay inside to prove how trust worthy it is while you all wait outside and bar the doors. Paladin: Very well. *some time later after the mansion burned down* *Party sees only the warlock remaining among the ashes* Paladin: Impossible! Paladin: They couldn’t all have been the killer! Warlock: True, but their minds were not guilt free so I’m afraid they caught fire. Rogue: So you knowingly just had us kill an entire mansion’s worth of people. Paladin: How are you still alive?! Warlock: Simple; I did not feel the slightest bit guilty about it. Warlock: *Proceeds to remove an artifact that collects the souls of the recently deceased* ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: Pick your characters. Human: I am a Halfling necromancer. Human 2: I am an elf necromancer. Human 3: I am a human necromancer. Alien: Seriously?! Alien: Does no one want to be something else? Human 4: I am an orc shaman. Alien: Well thank y- Human 4: That dabbles in necromancy. Alien: Gods damnit! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Human DM: And with that you have finally slain the great dragon Human DM: The town of Scabersburgs will forever be in your debt. Alien Wizard: That was a stupid encounter, let’s end it here. *Human DM makes note as the group leaves for the night* *Next week’s encounter* Human DM: You return to find the town of Scaversburg in the grips of a deadly plague. Human DM: The town’s folk are being driven mad as over the last few days many of them have begun growing scales across their body, talons where their fingers once were, and some have even begun sprouting lizard like wings and tails. Human DM: As they see you all return to the village their collective shouts of anger roar across the town as the entire city springs forth to hunt you down. Alien Wizard: Wait what!? Alien Wizard: I call bullshit; how could this suddenly happen?! Human DM: Well, if you had waited long enough to hear the dragons dying words he placed a powerful curse on his blood that any who should drink of it shall become as he once was. Alien Wizard: That’s still bullshit! Alien Wizard: No way the villagers would just walk up to a dead dragon and drink its blood. Human DM: Unless because you failed to dispose of the body the blood seeped into the ground and mixed with the towns water supply, thus contaminating everyone. *Group angrily looks at Wizard that encouraged them to leave early* Human DM: Roll for initiative. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Alien DM: As you make camp deep within the frost mountains of Galgieth you find that your provisions bag has torn open and you have no food to eat. Alien DM: Unless you act quickly you will starve to death. Wizard: I got this. Wizard: *Turns to barbarian* Wizard: Cut off my left arm. Barbarian: Done! *rolls a nat 20* Alien DM: *Confused* You chop off the left arm of your wizard, the limb falling lifelessly to the ground as spouts of blood pour out. Wizard: I cast regeneration to regrow my severed limb. *Rolls a nat 20* Alien DM: *Still confused* Your left arm grows back as if it was never gone. Wizard: I put my severed limb over the open fire to cook. Alien DM: You want to turn your party into cannibals? Rogue: Wouldn’t be the first time.

[yourplayersaidwhat]

No-Scope That Booze!

For some context, this is from one of our first sessions and my PC worked at the tavern in our campaign’s first town (which no one else in the party is from). The party is currently all in the tavern while my character works his shift after we were involved in a streetfight, with the Firbolg Bard in the corner playing his lute and the Human Monk and Dragonborn Rouge trying to convince the dwarven bartender to give them free booze while Alril, my half-elf warlock, waits tables.

~~~

Dragonborn Rouge: *in a thick Russian accent* Come now, friend, can’t we get some courtesy ale? Our day has been difficult so far, and it’s only noon.

Alril: *from across the room* Take it out of my paycheck if you have to, but get them some booze please, would ya? My new friend there isn’t kidding when he says the day’s been hard.

Bartender: You know what? You’re all friends with Alril now, yeah? Ah, what the hell…you seem like good people, and a friend of Alril is a friend of mine. Sure, I’ll get you some drinks.

DM: and he reaches below the bar and pulls out three tankards and fills them with ale, and pushes two of them towards Monk and Rouge, and the third in the vague direction of Firbolg. And he says,

Bartender: You too, big guy. Great playing, by the way.

Firbolg: Oh, I don’t imbibe. Thank you for the offer, however.

Monk: Well, after that shit-fest, I want to have a drinking contest. *ooc* Do I have to roll for that?

Rouge: *ooc* Holy shit yes, can we please have a drinking contest?

DM: Well, hold on. Whose gonna drink the third tankard? I’ll let you guys do it, but are you gonna call over some random patron at the bar or share a drink with the bartender? Cause I know this is a fantasy world, but I think that last option is, like, illegal.

Me: I mean, Alril doesn’t really drink, but I feel like he’d be down to take up that torch. Wait, is he allowed to drink on the job?

DM: I mean we’ve already established that you and the bartender are super chill, so yeah I think he’d let you drink that whole thing and get back to work, provided you don’t get too drunk.

Me: Oh ok so I’m definitely gonna make my way over to the bar.

DM: Alright, everyone roll constitution to see how hard you slam it and how hard it slams you back.

Monk: *ooc* I rolled a 7.

Rogue: *ooc* I got an 11.

Me: …I rolled an 18. *cue baffled laughter*

DM: *while cackling* Ok ok so here’s the scene: Monk and Rogue, you agree to have a drinking contest and start chugging as the bartender is looking on bemusedly. The ale is pretty strong too, and even as you’re drinking it you can feel yourself starting to get tipsy, and Rouge you kinda sense a presence come up beside you, but you’re too busy drinking to really pay attention. And then seconds later you both hear the sound of metal hitting the bartop and you stop drinking for a moment and look over in shock to see Alril in front of an empty tankard after fucking downing the whole thing in like 2 seconds flat.

Me: And Alril looks over at them, smiles, and walks around the bar to start cleaning his cup.

DM: *absolutely beaming* Yes, absolutely he does. And the bartender is laughing the whole entire time, and he claps a hand on your shoulder as you come up beside him and start washing up.

Rogue: *ooc* …I can’t believe you just no-scoped that ale, dude. *the party dissolved into laughter once more*

[elf-with-a-bow]

A while ago I ended up dusting off my Wacom tablet and drawing my OC Neth Arat and her wife Cealia.

TLDR: Cealia is a gnome bard who was in my very first campaign. It was another player's OC, and my character fell in love with her's, and she proposed near a river after a battle with a litch. Cealia is quick-witted, sassy, but very loveable.

Neth is my character that I've been playing for about 4 years now. She was in my very first campaign, and then was carried over to a new one because the first was short-lived. Neth is an elf rogue/fighter who is an ace with a bow and arrow. During a side-quest she found a magic +2 bow and has been unstoppable ever since.

Their story up until now (with more juicy details and sweet lgbt stuff I didn't mention):

Neth grew up as a child of royalty in the Great Forest, until one day

there was a betrayal, and she walked into the dining area of the castle to find her mother seizing on the table after being poisoned and her father with a knife in his back. It was just supposed to be a dinner between her parents and another family that worked for the castle, the Umbers, but it quickly became much more. Her uncle found her and hid her out of the castle. She then had to make a life of her own. She dealt in deals, drugs, and traveled. She wandered upon a town one day where she heard this bard signing in a square. She couldn't help but watch this beautiful blonde gnome kicking and singing like there wasn't a care in the world. They both became a member of the Mercenary Knights. Took down a litch (with other party members Einar the wizard and Sparky the alchemist), joined a war, and much more. This is when Neth proposed. They continued after their Mercenary Knight days together, opening one of the best gay bars on the continent called "Misfits, Tits, and Manly Bits", and picking up the occasional adventure when they could.

It wasn't until they adventured into the forest and were separated that Neth joined my current campaign. They had somehow been separated in a magical forest, and Neth was killed by some unknown fiend. She then woke up, with no recollection of where Cealia was. She survived her way out of the forest and stumbled upon a group of adventurers consisting of a Tabaxi named Pick, an Orc named Rakhar, and an Aasimar named Stacci. There, she joined them, mentioning how her fiance had gone missing. After asking people who may know how to find people using magical means, they found out that Cealia was being held in a forest, under a concealed dome. They adventured to this forest, fought beasts, and reached the dome. Once they removed it, they found that she was dead. Their NPC party member used a very powerful spell to bring her soul back into her body, and Cealia gasped for air.

They brought Cealia back and continued on their adventures with the new party. One of the many adventures they've had was finally having their wedding. Our party got dressed up, Cealia's parents traveled to see it, and all of the NPC's we had befriended had come. It was a beautiful wedding, and the afterparty was in a bar with a secret fighting ring below it. During the afterparty she was greeted by one of the Umber kids, who had now grown up and taken the throne. They had come to warn and threaten Neth, to which she essentially said, this is not going to happen today, on the day of my wedding. After this confrontation, the festivities and adventures continued.

Some time later, Neth and Cealia had decided that they wanted to adopt a child. During their adventures, they'd found a young, blue Firbolg girl who had lost her family to a terrible disease. Her name is Jozanna (they call her Jojo), and she is just a beam of light in the dark moments of their life. She is being trained by her mothers in the ways of both bows and arrows and bard magic.

Through this journey, they've met a number of new NPC's, two new party members, a twink wizard Cassimere and a sweet dragonborn named Villamir, and have just recently started to take back the Great Forest from the people in power who murdered her parents. They had gotten a meeting with the current nobility to discuss some things that had recently happened between the two groups, when a soldier dragged himself in the room saying that the sentinels (the highly-trained operative group of the forest) had turned on them, and one of the BBEG's had struck a deal with their commander to have them turn. Now Neth must work with the son of the man who killed her family to take back her home from this evil force.

They just successfully enacted a siege on the city of Sylva, the military district of the Great Forest. Citizens had been held captive there, and were threatened to be killed 5 at a time if the party didn't leave their station. This wouldn't do, so they charged in with an Orc army and Elf army fighting side-by-side. The party had split into groups to go find civilians who were hiding in houses to bring them to safety in one of the larger buildings. It was found that there were bombs rigged in one of the buildings, waiting to demolish whatever and whoever were inside. The party quickly isolated which building it was, and charged in to see a soldier drop their torch on the starters. Everyone pounced on them, snuffing 3 out of 4 out. But the last one got into the barrel. Our Dragonborn monk grabbed it and headed to the wall that had been erected around the city and threw it into the dense forest, where it detonated--saving hundreds of lives.

Now the party waits for the covert siege mission that is coming up. The castle is currently holding one of the BBEG's and her fighters. It had been decided that a covert mission would be best because these fighters were much stronger than the average soldier. Our last session consisted of everyone drinking, saying how much they loved each other, and specifically Neth mentioning to her uncle that if she perishes, she hopes that he will take care of Jojo.

All of this is credit to my wonderful DM Noah. Its truly been a crazy and amazing story, with much more than I've written on this post, but this was just mentioning the milestones of the two characters in the picture.

[wojtekbc]

D&D Session 7 Player Summary.

When last we left our heroes... Having forced the Warbreed’s hand, the party fought Heavy Cavalry 2274 and his lackeys in an even fight so to avoid unnecessary slaughter. With their leader dead, the Warbreed soldiers turned and left the town, leaving the party to recuperate for a few days before moving on towards Octin, following their third and final contract. The sun has set by the time the party arrives in Octin though the town is still busy; people are running around the streets, setting up stalls, hanging decorations; all signs might potentially maybe sort of point towards a huge festival, and we haven’t missed it. The party make their way to the Affable Undulate to rest up for what is surely going to be a fun day full of party games and definitely no shocking backstory revelations. Over dinner, Shura tells Ellenwae @xynnos​ a plan most devious discussed with Naoise on the road to Octin @bluethegirl​ ; that Orc Juice we stole from the Warbreed camp is a military grade amphetamine, we don’t need too much of it, and it seems like the exact kind of thing any soldiers would probably love to have in their back pocket. This goes back and forth for quite some time; the ethics of selling an addictive substance are brought up, questions of who to sell it to are pondered, ways to make sure Naoise doesn’t end up selling it to the public are jokingly discussed... the decision is reached that the party will sell it eventually, keeping some vials for Ellenwae to get maggoted in an orchard and commune with spirits or something, but we will wait until the end of the Super Happy Fun Fun Time coming around tomorrow. Our big buddy Otis walks over to the table and tells the party that our employer has finally revealed herself to be one Guinevere Greysteel; name not ringing any bells for the 1 person who reads these and isn’t playing? She’s some sort of relative to the wizard our dearest monk fucking brained but a week ago. She requests to meet us, and we all decide that it’s a good call but not until we’ve had our party time. Apparently there’s a wedding happening between the daughter of the local dickhead noble Fabron and some woman from the east called Ellavara; Naoise drinks heavily at this news and spends some of this downtime writing a song detailing just how much of a prick Duke Fabron is. Room shenanigans are had; it’s strange how D&D inns always have enough beds for the party -1. Naoise and Rowan @krunk-mcdunk​ vie control of the double bed to themselves whilst Ellenwae sleeps on the floor.  The party’s up bright and early to seize the day, but not bright and early enough to catch Jawbones (Jawbones!) @darkseldarine​ or Cerna @pantographicclone​ leaving the inn; Jawbones had the decency to leave a note with little hearts and a smiley face, at least. She’s off visiting an old friend! Cerna’s off doing something horrible and occult, probably! One hearty breakfast later and the party is off to beat peasants at their own games. Ellenwae starts this adventure off by following the sound of a crier looking for contestants to catch the lady of lace. Ellenwae, in his off-white robes laced with living plants, is probably quite surprised when it turns out to be a greased pig to be chased through the streets, but to his credit he’s still down for it. A bolt ahead of the pack and a failed attempt to charm the pig start the race off, but all cunning plans give way to the need to grab the pig, which Ellie tries and fails as some burly peasant dude manages to pull it off. Oh well, definitely one way to start the day off!  Next up on the list of things to do is prove to the locals that Shura is greater than any champion they could throw at him by way of arm wrestling competition. Now, ya boi was prepared to rage, or go through multiple competitors, but it was unnecessary. The champion came out, Shura shook his hand, they started and the match was over in seconds. It was pitiful. Now winning and leaving a crowd shocked is great by itself I’ll give you that but what’s even better is winning, leaving a crowd shocked, and being given a fucking magical greataxe for winning. Shura almost gave it away though, because as a player I thought with a name like “The Axe of Gonzo” it was just a regular greataxe. Off that the lads head towards a fighting pit where some sort of ‘master’ has set himself up and is accepting challengers. Naturally, our hyper-lethal Monk jumps at the opportunity to crack skulls so Rowan jumps in the pit and squares off against the Master of Gators. Before the fight even begins, the dude looks at Rowan with the hooligan party in the crowd cheering her on and asks if she has ever been to Ravenhome; seems like news of our exploits precedes us. The fight is a tough one wherein the prick keeps grabbing and biting Rowan while she slips from his grasp and continually cracks him with her staff until on her last legs, she manages to take the bastard down with a palm. The built Monk hits the ground in the pit, and as Rowan’s hand pulls back from the strike, the tattoos follow. Ink crawls up Rowan’s arms to her shoulders and sets in place as two alligators sprawl out across shoulder, chest and bicep. Rowan of the Shadows, Mageslayer, Master of Gators, She of Many Titles. We cross the town to get Rowan something to drink and what the fuck is this? A parade? With the two women to be married? Why has Naoise ran down an alleyway and come back as a different person? Why did Ellavara do a triple-take at Ellenwae? What the fuck is happening? Let’s uhhhhhhhhh discuss this back at the bar later on because this is DEFINITELY not the kind of thing we should avoid. What better way to celebrate than a drinking contest! What better drinking contest than 95% ABV goblin hooch! That’s fucked! Everyone tries, and surprisingly Rowan is the only one to finish. She truly is the strongest of us. The party decides the best place for Naoise to drop her scathing political criticism diss track is in a market square with a massive fucking crowd, so that happens. Guards eventually show up, musketeers eventually show up to blockade the guards, people start chanting the song; it’s all quite a lot. Pleased with the work, the party move on to the opera. It was probably something about a prostitute dying of consumption; Shura definitely cried. BACK TO THE INN! EVERYONE! QUICK! SNACKS AND BEVS UPSTAIRS POST HASTE! MEET IN THE ROOM WITH THE DOUBLE BED IN 2 MINUTES! WE HAVE SHIT TO DISCUSS! The party sit down to finally have a talk. It’s unavoidable now. We’ve been travelling for a couple of weeks at this point but there has never been a time so dire to actually figure out who the fuck some of us are. Naoise doesn’t want to start so Ellenwae drops some of his past; he was exiled when he refused a marriage, and his goddess isn’t...alive? It’s theory, sure, but Ellenwae was dead, and Fayenna brought him back... but Monarchon addressed the goddess when talking to Ellie, so perhaps there is a dormant, primordial, pagan goddess slowly waking up and using Ellie’s body as a catalyst. He’s the first to speak her rites in eons, that much is certain. Suddenly, covered in twigs and dirt (and blood) it’s Jawbones (Jawbones!). Uriel managed to show up for a bit! Much rejoicing was had! “Well, after that, I’ll start us off; Hi, I’m Shura! What’s your name?” “My name isn’t Naoise.” Naoise the bard was Marcella the soldier not too long ago, but she abandoned her past life by faking her death for reasons yet unrevealed, leaving her wife and child in the east, her wife being one lady Ellavara. As she is right now, Naoise does not want to return to who she was, for this is the life she chose, yet she knows this arranged marriage is something that must be stopped. So, as adventurers are wont to do, the party plans to crash a wedding. Jawbones goes downstairs because she’s a local and looks completely normal when she’s not wearing a jawbone around her neck and carrying a massive fucking bow, because we need someone to figure out where the bride is staying. Naturally, Jawbones leaves her little mouse friend Piper with Ellenwae. See, out of character we were laughing at the fact the mouse is about 8 years old as Ellie casts Speak With Animals. We weren’t ready to find out Piper is a Wizard who has been trapped in the body of a mouse for almost a decade and has had no one to properly speak to since Ellenwae. What the fuck. What the everliving fuck. What a fucking session. I might edit thoughts on to this later but it’s pretty late.

[bride-and-bride]

Am I a Shitty Healer?

A Very Basic Guide To When You Will Feel Like You Suck But It’s Actually Just Hard

The first job I ever picked up when I started playing FFXIV was White Mage. And I loved healing in this game enough to keep at it, but I found that there were a lot of places where I found myself struggling and really questioning if I was any good.

AS IT TURNS OUT... that’s pretty normal! So lest you find yourself questioning if you’re fit for healing when you’re getting into it for the first time, here’s a bunch of points at which you’ll probably find you’re having trouble. Don’t panic and think you suck... you’ll get through it with a lil perseverance and practice!

In ARR:

Stone Vigil

Aurum Vale

Dzemael Darkhold

The very first time you end up in these dungeons as an at-level healer, you might find yourself thinking you’re in hell. That’s normal. Focus on making sure you have properly upgraded gear, particularly for your main-hand and body slot! Don’t skip your class quests, either... they offer skills that you’ll definitely need.

Specifically, Stone Vigil has difficult AoEs, Aurum Vale’s got a difficult second Boss, and both Aurum Vale and Dzemael Darkhold have rooms where it’s easy to aggro a LOT of mobs while also having hazards that can deal damage. It’s good to focus on where you stand and how you move!

(Keeper of the Lake also sucks at level, and is tricky even when you get it in roulettes later... again, focus on having up to date gear, and try to read up on the boss mechanics before you head in for the first time!)

In HW:

The Vault

Final Steps of Faith

One of these is a dungeon, the other is a trail, but both are places at which you’ll find the difficulty of healing jumping a bit higher than you might expect. For the Vault, it’s extremely vital to make sure you have properly upgraded gear... the 130 ironworks gear won’t be enough anymore! For Final Steps, it’s quite helpful to read about the fight ahead of time, and really make sure you’re familiar with your aoe healing spells. It’s easier now, but it can be intimidating on your first time none the less... luckily, you have a co-healer to help out!

In SB:

The Pool of Tribute

Bardam’s Mettle

Castrum Abania

The Royal Menagerie

The Pool of Tribute is a trial, and an early one which can be difficult in part because it USUALLY TAKES... quite a while to finish. The attack patterns are rather predictable but because it goes on and on, people tend to get a bit messier in the later stages. Keep an eye on your MP!

Bardam’s Mettle and Castrum Abania are notable because the trash pulls in them hit like a truck. This is pretty common in stormblood dungeons, but don’t be afraid to ask your tank to take one pull at a time, because some of the more innocuous looking pulls can be surprisingly vicious.

The Royal Menagerie.... well, just don’t get discouraged if you find it difficult, try to practice not getting too focused on healing to the point of losing track of the fight around you, and having sprint on your bars will prove a useful tool.

So How Do I Get Better?

I couldn’t say too much... I know I’m definitely always improving in my own healing, too, and I’m still realizing things that make my life easier. However, I think there’s some basic things you can do as a healer to help yourself improve!

Read your Action Descriptions Carefully!

It’s easy to miss details unless you actually take a good look at what your actions do, and it’s always embarrassing to realize you were missing something. For example, WHM’s Assize also restores an amount of MP when you use it... AST’s Essential Dignity does MORE Healing if it’s used on a target with lower HP, and SCH’s Rouse makes your Fairy immune to some status ailments (useful if they’re in the path of a Morbol’s Breath!) You should have an idea of what your stances do as an Astrologian or what Fairy Actions Scholar’s have access to!

In addition, several times you’ll get ‘2′ versions of your existing healing spells... and it’s important to take a look at how they all function, since it’s not a simple case of always using the highest numbered heal you have! Benefic I and Cure I both save you a certain amount of MP and can proc special effects on Benefic II and Cure II, and Medica I and Helios do more raw healing than Medica II or Aspected Helios.

Consider your Role Actions according to what you do!

Some of the Healer skills are extremely vital, and you’ll want to have on your bars most of the time... others are very situational, and can depend on what you’re going to be running and what your style of healing is! For example, most groups will expect Protect at the start of runs, and Swiftcast is an absolute must-have for quick raises in battles... 

But Esuna is also an extremely useful tool, and having it quick at hand when someone’s paralyzed or slowed is a great help, and getting in the habit of looking for esuna-able Debuffs is a good one to have.

As for other role actions, it’s great to know that SCH’s Deployment Tactics also spreads Eye for an Eye, Lucid Dreaming gives you increased MP regeneration while it’s active, and Surecast actually prevents knockback and draw-in effects--all tools which can be very valuable in specific cases!

Know your Tank and Co-Healers

Being able to understand how best to work with different classes can make all kinds of runs a lot easier... and particularly in 8-man and raid content, knowing your fellow healers is vital! For example, any character can only have ONE shield effect on them at a time... AST’s Nocturnal Shields overwrite each other and SCH shields and vice-versa... if you’re an AST with a SCH, using Nocturnal Sect will give them a migraine and waste a lot of good healing, and if you have two AST’s the most effective way to go is to have one Nocturnal and one Diurnal healer!

For your tank, each one has a specific ‘last chance cooldown’ that acts differently. Paladin’s Hallowed Ground, for example, prevents ALL damage during it’s duration, meaning you can focus healing elsewhere... while Warrior’s Holmgang doesn’t prevent damage, meaning you need to try and get them back up before it ends and they’re in a bad place! Dark Knight is unusual... their Living Dead makes it so that if they would be killed, they’re instead put in a ‘Walking Dead’ state during which they can’t drop below 1 hp... but they MUST be healed for an amount equaling their full hp before the buff ends, or they’ll die, regardless of if they have hp remaining.

There’s other quirks and benefits you can find with all kinds of classes... from Monk’s Mantra which buffs healing, to Bard’s Warden’s Paean, which can esuna a debuff OR put up a ward to prevent one, to Bard and Machinist’s ability to help regenerate MP, to the different DPS casters being able to transfer a portion of their own MP to you. The more you learn about other classes, the more you can work in cooperation with them!

Know your Limit Break!

Before you hit 50, there’s a pretty good chance you’ll never end up using a Limit Break in a dungeon or trial. Afterwards, however... there will be times when the Healer Limit Break can be the difference between victory and defeat, and having it on your bar saves a lot of heartache.

The Healer LB 1 and 2 are unlikely to get used... but restore 25 and 60% of the entire party’s HP and MP, respectively. Healer LB3 on the other hand... restores full HP and MP to all party members and instantly revives any who are dead at the time! It’s important to note there IS a range on this... people who are VERY far away might miss out, and it locks you in place until the animation ends, meaning it’s possible to bring everyone back only to get caught in an AoE and fall yourself.

This got a lot longer than I meant to, and I’m definitely not any kind of expert... just a bug who really likes to ramble and sometimes gets the burning urge to write guides for things. Still... I think healing in FFXIV is fun as heck, and I can’t help but want more people to feel confident that they can do it, even if they find it tough here and there!

THANKS FOR READING THIS FAR, WOW!

[marshmarlowee]

It’s 4 am and I can’t sleep so I’m going to tell y’all some of my favorite stories from our dnd campaign. Context! We’re all friends through LARP and we’ve only had two sessions so far. The world is a homebrew of our DM’s creation, including the gods and a few homebrew races.

My character is a chaotic evil human Madness Cleric, it’s a homebrew subclass that you can find some versions of on dnd beyond. Basically her deity is a god of insanity, think cthulu but with a sick sense of humor. Quick rundown of her backstory: she’s an apothecary who did some fucked up shit and was driven out of town.

The rest of our party is 1) A Dragonborn warlock whose patron is an archfey 2) A Bugbear monk 3) A Ryke (homebrew race) wizard and 4) A “Moon Elf” bard. We are noncanonically “evil squad” because all of us have evil or neutral alignments.

Session 0. The DM messages exposition. Each of us received a letter and money to meet at a bar, the letters contain suspicious information about our pasts. My cleric meets the bard early and... he’s weird. Specifically he has very sharp teeth and creepy eyes. Okay, she’s weird too, not a big deal.

Session 1. We meet at the bar, we get information about our job to rescue an important figure in the order of the Raven from a prison. We try and fail to do recon, eventually the monk finds a lead to an unrelated kidnapped girl because she befriends the kidnappers. Kidnappers are mad that their boss didn’t pay them, we talked to the boss. I try to intimidate him by casting dissonant whispers, I really should have thought about how weak this dude would be because we’re all level 1. I deal 14 points of psychic damage and his head fucking explodes. This is where we get point a towards the bard being not your average moon elf, as he tries to eat the dead dudes eyeball but the wizards crow familiar beats him to it. Our lawful evil warlock decides he needs to deal with the situation by stripping the body and carrying it with him to “bring to a mortuary.” He ends up leaving the body in front of the inn and we all get drunk that night because everyone is celebrating that we returned the kidnapped girl, which was mostly just because she was there while we were committing crimes.

Also we’re all pretty sure that this creepy bard is not a normal moon elf after session 1.

Session 2 (monk player couldn’t make it): Next day. The wizard, who is almost certainly the only functioning member of the group, actually got intel as to our job and we go to investigate. On the way, the warlock gets really excited about his new powers from his patron and blasts of an eldritch blast in a random direction. DM says to roll a d100. He does, and the warlock ends up hitting and killing a nearby child. Again, lawful evil, he needs to bring the body to a mortuary. Which he never found in the first place for the other body. He carries the corpse through the town, the party freaks out and takes off in the opposite direction to avoid being associated with that disaster. My cleric notices that no one seems to be reacting to the obvious murder, and questions a bystander. Apparently, no one else can see the Dragonborn with the kid. The warlock has been telepathically communicating with his patron the whole time and “cashed in a favor.” The warlock stabs a stick into the ground and impales the child on it. My cleric points it out yet again, and once the warlock has walked away everyone can see the dead kid. Chaos ensues. My cleric claims the deed in the name of her god and hightailed it out of there, leaving behind the warlock. She catches up to the party, we make progress on our mission. (He eventually caught up.) We come across mercenaries, we find out that they were hired to “find us and take us back dead or alive,” so we kill them. First proper combat of the game! It went well, but at the end the bard dragged the body of an elf archer off into the woods and came back seemingly wearing its clothes and definitely eating its heart. Cue horrified wizard, uncaring warlock, and delighted cleric. Cleric and bard sit down and have a chat, apparently he doesn’t know what race he is either or why he suddenly wants to eat raw body parts. These urges are new to him and my cleric gets the idea that she might be why, as in she might be channeling her deity to influence this man to insanity.

[writing-zepher]

DnD: Chaos Campaign-S2

Okay, so here is where things get interesting. As a brief recap, Naztae was a body guard for a bard in the mountains. The village was cursed by an evil committed in the past, and clay men were put to blame. It really was an old man’s fault, so Naztae had to dig up a corpse and the curse was lifted. To celebrate, everyone got toasted.

The next day, things go downhill very fast. Like I said a thousand times before in my previous post, alcohol and charlatan sorcerer of wild magic are a bad mix. Thankfully I am still by myself during this session, but the things that happened drove me to seek out a party because everything is impossible to do by myself. 

So, after a night of partying, we start off with a Naztae hangover:

Woke up tied to a strange bed (not naked) and is extremely hung over. The room is very fancy and plush. There is a person another room, and when they come in, it is a teifling in a loin cloth. 

Apparently Naztae woke up in a brothel as the teifling, known as “The Monk”, is a prostitute. 

In Naztae’s drunken stupor, he was walking around town asking for “a monk”. The people decided to take him to the brothel and into Monk’s care. Monk ended up giving Naztae his money back as he threw up all over Monk’s bed before they got their clothes off. 

Naztae is embarrassed and flustered as this situation is usually the other way around. Monk found his reaction to be charming. 

After more talking, Naztae realized he’s not in Pika anymore. He’s actually in a another country called “Sowa” several miles away (I still don’t know how the hell he managed to do that in one night.)

Naztae tried to remember a little better. He remembered a female monk in his drunken state. 

Thanking Monk, Naztae left the brothel and immidiately gets his ass beat by two orcs (I call them chuckle fucks) who serve a mob boss by the name of Grimm. Apparently Naztae did something to piss him off.

Grimm is a piece of work by the way. He’s a halfling with an Irish accent and is literally the HARDEST person to kill. He kept demanding to give him his money back and then he had Naztae hang out a window.

Despite giving him some money (which was a REALLY hard thing to do), he is given a choice to drop three stories or to make him laugh. Naztae, with very low health, chose laugh. All of his clothes get ripped off and he’s tossed into the streets for everyone to see. 

Feeling extremely pissed and embarrassed, Naztae goes invisible and plots ways to kill Grimm.

Disguise kit: Naztae turns into a newsies Spock. 

Naztae goes to a fancy bar to cheat at a dice game. The fancy bar sucked, so he went to Pattie’s (a rowdy bar) instead. I spot a gnome playing a game of dice in the corner and he has a large pile of money on his side. Jackpot. 

Charlatans have a special trade when it comes to things that are crooked, and Naztae’s specialty is dice. He goes over to the table, and he starts winning. The gnome isn’t happy and said, “It’s time to get serious.”

Naztae decided this is a good time to switch his dice to the loaded ones. Since he is surrounded by people and all eyes are on him, he decides to start some noise in the bar to draw the attention away.

NAZTAE CASTS SHATTER 

Several people die.

A brawl starts

The military police arrive

The DM congratulates me as Naztae successfully distracted the bar patrons and switched out his dice. 

Naztae escapes through the bar and nearly lost as hand as he pick pocketed along the way, and ran out onto the streets. He turns invisible to hide from the police. The police can see through invisibility. 

Naztae runs deeper into the slums and runs into a man with a mask. Seeing as a guard was chasing Naztae, he casts crown of madness and tells him to attack the stranger in the mask instead.

The stranger in the mask was Monk, 

In a panic, Naztae looks for an innocent civilian instead. He picks a beefy looking butcher at a shop and directs the guard to attack him instead. The butcher is pissed and the guard is getting his ass beat

Monk: Why did that guard attack me?

Naztae: *crocodile tears* I don’t know. He just came after me and then he saw you. I don’t understand, I never did anything wrong in my life. The justice system is so corrupt. Please Monk, you gotta help me!

I take a rest in the brothel. Monk takes Naztae onto the roof and says Grimm is an investor of the mafia in the slums. The slums is literally under ground beneath the steampunk city. He also says the only way out is up as he looks up to the rich buildings on the upper level.

Naztae asks if he can escape, but Monk said he uses the money he makes to improve the home he had in the brothel. Naztae makes a special note to help him out when he can. 

Something is going on in the streets. Monk quickly tells Naztae to hide. There is a hole in the wall. He fails athletics and fell into someone else’s bathroom. He has the option to go back down the hole, but he hears noises coming from the other room. 

Naztae peeks in and sees a green butt on the bed. It was one of the orcs that beat the hell out of him and he was busy with one of the prostitutes. An opportunity to loot is always a good opportunity. 

Naztae rolls for stealth to use mage hand to pick up the orc’s coin purse.

CRITICAL FAILURE! SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 60!

The shelf is knocked over and the orc and his prostitute see Naztae crouching by the door. At least he got his lowest spell slots back.

Naztae closed the door and tried to run back into the hole in the wall. The orc bursts in after him. Naztae makes an athletics check to see if he made it into the hole.

CRITICAL FAILURE! SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 2!!!!

FASTEN YOUR SEAT BELTS WE’RE GOING ON A RIDE

A 2 meant you surge for whole minute. That means we gotta do these surges 10 more times. YAAAAAY!!!!

Naztae tripped and fell while the orc burst into the room after him

1ST SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 100!

Naztae’s sorcery points come back even though he never used them in the first place. 

2ND SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 76!

The orc takes a swing. Naztae panicked and started to glow. Both he and the orc go blind (The DM thought it would be better if we both went blind this time). The orc missed and Naztae can’t see shit. 

He attempts to regain his sight and tried to run for the hole again. He makes it into the hole.

3RD SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 94!

Naztae goes from a size medium to large. His butt is stuck in the hole. 

The orc regains his sight and is SUPER pissed. Naztae wiggles in panic as he tried to escape from the hole. The elvish woman is screaming. Someone is pounding on the door. 

4TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 44!

For the next 10 rounds, Naztae can teleport up to 20ft in distance. 

The elvish woman goes for the door. 

Naztae cast crown of madness on the orc so he wouldn’t curb stomp him into the hole. He teleports out of the hole and into the bedroom. 

Fun fact about crown of madness, your target needs someone to attack or else it’ll go back to their usual behavior. 

Naztae chucks the prostitute at the orc before she can open the door. 

5TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 15!

For 10 rounds, Naztae regains 5 hit points at the beginning of each turn. 

Since the orc is busy and the prostitute is out of the way, Naztae decided to loot the room. He uses teleportation to make it faster. 

The door busts down and the other orc, still putting on his pants, rushed into the room. Crown of madness fades as well. Naztae teleports down into the hole

6TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 74! 

The orc with madness suddenly doubles over from poison. 

Naztae teleports down to the ground level. He had a choice to teleport inside or teleport outside. Naztae teleports inside, but he turns invisible first. Good choice, as he was in another room with a prostitute. 

A married couple and a prostitute were starting to flirt with each other, so nothing too bad. Naztae decided to sneak by and let them do their thing. 

7TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 7!

Naztae cast a 3rd level fireball on himself. He survived. 

The married couple and the prostitute are caught in the blast. All three of them are roasted to a crisp, but the prostitute didn’t quite die yet. 

With a grimace, Naztae loots their corpses. 

Once he hears voices on the ground floor, he teleports into the building next door. It is an abandoned dress shop.

Naztae sits down and does ABSOLUTELY NOTHING 

8TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 46!

Naztae levitates. 

9TH SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 26!

An eye appears on Naztae’s forehead. He has advantage on wisdom and sight checks. 

FINAL SURGE TABLE ROLL IS 66!

Three innocent civilians on the street are struck by lightning. One of them was a child. 

Knowing that the surge is finally over, Naztae decided to sit until things calm down, then plans his next course of action (He needs to get out of the slums, and he needs to get out soon) 

Okay, so that’s all I’m going to fit into this one. This session was a LONG one, so the next post will be 2.5. Yeah, a lot more happens than this, and it continues to go downhill from here.

As a result of everything that happened, security in the city is increased, and Naztae is pretty much an accidental terrorist. Why? Because he needed those coins. Again, feel free reply or reblog with your own DnD stories. 

I don’t know how soon I’ll post the next one, but we’ll see. 

[imthescapman-blog]

Session 5: 2/16/2017

Chapter 1: Life’s Bazaar, continued

               The party started tonight’s session with a bit of discussion regarding what they should do next. Opinions were split, as some wanted to continue exploration, while others were eager to return to the surface and search for information on the Vanishing, an affliction that caused Jzadirune to be closed and sealed long ago, and now affected Hugo. Hugo was torn between seeking a cure on the surface and exploring to see if a cure had been found and was kept in the complex itself.  

               Ultimately, the argument to continue the search below ground won out, and the party continued to explore the eastern section of Jzadirune. The party explored a tunnel to the south that turned east and found a room which contained the bloated, long-dead corpse of a carrion crawler. Hugo noticed that the inside of the beast had been hollowed out and that a couple of coffers were actually hidden away inside the creature.

               The party eagerly investigated and found a few items of worth, including a couple of spell scrolls. Moving on from this area, the group circled back to the Hall of Dancing Lights and explored some of the chambers branching off from this room. One room turned out to be an empty guest quarters and the other was a storage area. Amria discovered a hidden door in the storage area, which led to a large bathroom. The bathroom had a large marble tub with a constant flow of water from overhead. The room was coated in spider webs and a cocooned humanoid form was hanging over the tub.

               Tiny stealthily infiltrated the room and sighted a giant arachnid perched in the webs, lazily weaving away. The spider had not noticed the monk as she snuck in, but when Hugo tried to follow behind her into the room, the creature easily spied him. Tiny used the brief advantage she would have due to her stealth to strike the first blow. The spider could not make contact using its venomous bite, and the party took it down quickly, owing their success to Ris’ smite ability and Amria’s powerful eldritch blast.

               The group continued to explore and found a ruined dining hall. Most of the furniture had been removed and demolished, probably to build the barricades that held the grick in its chamber. This hall had many paths to move toward, and the party went forward as systematically as possible. One of the rooms held an empty pantry with moldy food and decayed herbs but another turned out to be a kitchen. Tiny once again led the way, stealthily, and she spied a humanoid garbed from head to toe in black cloth crouched in a dark corner, its hand gripping a dagger. Tiny and the creature locked eyes and she advanced menacingly but was halted by a dagger sinking deeply between her shoulder blades. She spun just in time to see another fly toward her and bury itself in her front. Tiny went down in a bloody heap and the group entered to fight the pair of small humanoids, the one seen and the one unseen.

               The creatures were quick and precise with their strikes, but couldn’t stand against the havoc that the group could wreak. The creatures held one more surprise, though: After being dealt a mortal blow, they exploded in a flash of light that threatened to blind anyone close enough. There were no corpses to examine in the aftermath, simply piles of ash and daggers.

               Fogo boggled his mind to recall any information that he may have come across in the library of Bluecrater and remembered that these creatures were called Darklings, fey that had been cursed by the light. Any light they encountered burned their skin and was absorbed to shorten their lives. Still, the creatures had a craving for beauty and brightness, and willingly suffered for the chance to see things unique and beautiful.

               The party healed Tiny and headed north, where they found an underground illusory forest. It was a magnificent creation of magic, complete with rays of sunshine perforating a canopy of large trees growing from the grassy ground. It was a peaceful distraction, but the party continued onward and found another strange chamber, where spheres of invisibility hid creatures in its corners.

               Another damaged automaton seemed to materialize alongside a darkling. The creatures were quick and violent, but they fell to the party’s weapons and magic.

               The party explored onward and found a room with a silver cage atop a wooden chest. In the cage was a rat with a star-shaped patch of fur on its head. It was standing up and gripping the bars, urgently squeaking and shaking the cage. The party piled in to release the creature, but as they approached, the chest opened to reveal rows of sharp teeth and a mouth curled into a grin. It flapped its lid open and actually seemed to be trying to communicate. No one could understand it, so Hugo advanced and tried to release the rat, but the mimic snapped at him and combat began.

               The mimic was cut down, but not before wrapping its heavy tongue around Hugo’s arm and pulling him into its maw, nearly making a meal of the bard. Once the creature was dispatched, the party released the rat from its cage. Ris, being a gnome and thereby able to communicate with small mammals, heard its tale of kidnapping and imprisonment. Afterward, the party moved into a side room, where a skulk hid and stabbed Tiny from a hole in the ground. It was defeated quickly and the party decided now may be a good time for a brief rest.

               The next room to the north held the remains of a glassblowing workshop. The party found a single creature attempting to hide. The party spoke out loud to it, and the very darkness itself seemed to unfold. The creature was a tall, graceful creature dressed similarly to the darklings. In its delicate hands it held a short sword and a dagger. Hugo, ever a perceptive young man, noticed that the little bit of flesh that could be seen of the creature was obviously affected by the Vanishing. Fogo asked it in Common, “Be you friend or foe?”

               The creature responded in Elven, “I will not sully my tongue with your dirty language.” Fogo and Hugo both understood Elven, so Fogo repeated his question after a diplomatic apology. The creature answered, “I was foe until you slaughtered my clan. I’m more inclined to be a friend now, if you’re open to negotiation.”

               “What do you have in mind?”

               “An exchange of information, a truce, in the interest of a longer life lived. I don’t believe I can beat you all, but should I fall, I shall not leave this plane by myself. There are things you wish to know. Ask your questions, I shall answer, and then I shall go.”

               The party discussed quickly and agreed to the terms, only asking also for one of the missing keys that they had not yet found. The creature agreed to this.

               “Who are you and what are you doing here?”

               “I am Yuathyb. My clan and I were simply… living.”

               “What do you know about the kidnapped children?”

               “We took them, me and mine, and gave them to a dwarf. He takes them below, into the Malachite Hold. We bring them to the elevator and hand them over to hobgoblins.”

               “What do you get out of this? Why do you do it?”

               To this, Yuathyb simply shrugged. Hugo stepped in eagerly, “Do you have any ideas on how to cure this? The Vanishing?”

               Yuathyb’s eyes betrayed a hidden smile. “Of course not.”

               The conversation sputtered out and it was time for Yuathyb to leave. He dropped the key onto the ground before him and backed out of the room. To leave, he had to pass by Tiny, and he gave her a wink before padding into the darkness and disappearing.

               The party inspected the room and from here found another secret door. This door led to a chamber filled with wealth. A gnome-sized suit of plate mail was filled from boot to helm with gold coins, and jewelry of all kinds lay about the room, in urns and casks.

               The party celebrated the discovery with a foray to the surface. The doorway into Ghelve’s Locks was blocked by a table stacked with dishes that made a lot of noise as Fogo pushed it out of the way. Ghelve came running down the stairs to investigate and was overjoyed at the party’s arrival. He insisted on hosting the party overnight. Fogo asked him to unlock the spellbook they had found, and Ghelve happily agreed. He even offered to make a key for the book’s lock. Fogo decided to go to his father’s house and sleep there for the night, hoping to speak with him about Jzadirune. His father was not present, though.

               The party slept and Tiny had another nightmare, wherein she saw one of the kidnapped children. The next day, everyone ran about on their own errands. Fogo discovered upon waking that he had also contracted the dreaded Vanishing, and the first place he went that morning was to visit his father at Bluecrater University.

               He walked to his father’s personal study at Bluecrater and found the man eating his breakfast. Seymour Xavius Fumar was an elderly man with little obvious concern for his personal appearance. The top of his head was bald and his white, wispy hair was wild and at all angles. He was poring over a couple of tomes and scratching notes into another, only glancing at Fogo as he entered. “Three days, Fogo,” he said. “I haven’t seen you in three days. Where the hells have you been?”

               Proudly, Fogo began to tell his father of the adventure he had been on, telling him all about Jzadirune and the skulks.

               “It isn’t real, Fogo. Don’t make up stories. Are you in some kind of trouble? Do you need money? Is that what this is about?”

               Fogo grew angry. “No, I found money, I found a lot of money. I’ve been to Jzadirune! Look at me! I have the Vanishing, that ended Jzadirune!  I came here to talk to you about it and to see if you could help me!”

               Seymour looked up with a roll of his eyes and paused when he noticed Fogo’s vanishing flesh. “My word, you do. And of course, you brought it here! How did you get it? What is it doing to you?” He stood up and skirted along the walls, keeping distance between himself and Fogo. “Stay here, I’m going to help you, but first you’ll have to be quarantined. Don’t move!” With that, he retreated from the room, slammed the door and locked it behind him.

               Frustrated and disappointed beyond measure, Fogo waited a moment before kicking the door open and leaving the University to find something to spend his money on.

               Tiny was eager to find a bank to store her gold then get back to exploring the underground complex. Amria and Ris ventured to the Temple of St. Cuthbert and updated Jenya Urikas on the status of their investigation. Amria purchased healing potions and asked if the priestess could cure her curse. Jenya agreed, but asked for a donation as compensation, which she would discount for the party’s service to the church thus far. She charged only 250 gold pieces for the spell, and just like that, Amria was no longer cursed.

               They asked her for her opinions on the Vanishing, and she offered to take a look at Hugo, if he’d like, and to see if there was anything she could do to help him. Hugo declined at first, certain that there was nothing she could do for him. After a bit of persuasion, he relented and went to the temple. Jenya reached for Hugo’s hands, but he flinched back. “Don’t touch me, you might get it.” She smiled gently in reply, “It’s alright. I’m not afraid.” She took his hands and closed her eyes, muttering a prayer that sounded like a conversation almost. She finally looked up at him and smiled. “It is a curse, and I can remove it.” She cast the same spell that cured Amria and Hugo was whole once more. “Do you know how you became afflicted with it in the first place?”

               The party did not, so the question went unanswered for now. Unfortunately, she could not cure Fogo, since her inventory of spells of that caliber had been depleted for the day. Fogo visited a magic item store and tried to make a deal on selling his Gray Bag of Tricks, but ended up eventually selling it to Ris instead so that he could buy better armor.

               Refreshed and restocked, the party descended once more into Jzadirune. They followed the instructions given to them by Yuathyb and found the secret door to the elevator that would take them into the Malachite Fortress, further beneath the surface. A duo of hobgoblins, wielding expertly forged weapons and bedecked in high quality armor, would be the last challenge to overcome before they could make that descent… and that’s where we ended.

An eldritch knight with a spellbook

When the party spent the night at Ghelve’s Locks, they leveled up to third. Fogo picked the eldritch knight archetype and he wanted to discuss the spellbook that he found in Jzadirune. The normal rules for eldritch knights only give them access to Abjuration and Evocation spells, and they do not use spellbooks. Fogo’s player wanted to know if that could be adjusted a bit, and we worked on expanding the rules a bit to give Fogo more versatility.

The rule that we agreed to was to allow Fogo a spellbook for spells outside of the Abjuration and Evocation schools and he would get one slot per spell level for spells in that category. It’s more expensive for him to scribe spells (100gp per page instead of 50gp per page, I think).

This fits because Fogo comes from a scholarly background and is more inclined to toting around a book and learning from it. I don’t think this will be game-breaking, and since the party lacks a dedicated wizard or sorcerer, it adds some extra adaptability to the group. We’ll see how it goes.

Moving things along

We’ve been in the same dungeon for four sessions now. It’s time to go! Jzadirune is a great dungeon crawl. It has a unique personality, a multitude of traps and more than one mystery that the team is trying to crack. Still, it gets old after a while. As a DM, it’s important to maintain a gauge on interest level and keep things moving. In this case, the group walked over traps that I didn’t trigger, they found secret doors pretty easily, and they even found keys and were able to move on quicker than was written.

Towards the end, the group made a quick trip to the surface and quick is the key word. Cauldron is a highly detailed small city and there are a lot of roleplaying opportunities and possible adventure hooks that can come up, but I could tell that the group wasn’t interested in lingering. For the most part, they wanted to drop off the buttload of gold they found, buy some healing potions, and get back to work. It’s exciting that the group is moving closer to the heart of the kidnappings and I look forward to the next session.

[ieatfaries-blog]

According to plan

This involves the summoner and a party of : a gunslinger, monk, bard, and ranger. the party had been following some leads on people getting abducted. we fallowed the trail to a barn that had recently been associated to a large number of wagons coming to it. the party at this point was being leaded buy the gun-ho gunslinger who decided that we should go through the front door. we reluctantly agreed with the party taking a precaution of summoning an ether elemental and swapping bodies with it. we tried to open the door the gunslinger shot the lock off but the door would not open, we learned from the GM later that the door was barred from the inside,. seeing as we have already lost the element of surprise and the door was not opening we took the initiative and  used the elemental power to blast the door in. Before I go any farther just note that an ether  elemental’s body is naturally invisible. 

The party moved in and 4 large covered wagons, lots of hay, and that there was balcony for a second floor. we were able to move in a bit and uncover one of the wagons and it was full of people. at that moment a massive person clad in black armor just drops from the second floor and points a sword at the party. then an immediate fight starts, monk charges in, bard starts hamboneing, arrows are flying and shots are fired real exciting stuff. we decided to float up to the second floor and see what was up there. We find a mage scrambling to collect some scattered notes and papers. we were trying to plan some thing when the mage turns around comes to the edge of the balcony and casts a spell I think it was frost... something, can not remember exactly it was a cone frost attack that did 10d6. They were a new GM so I am glad that they did what they did as they would have been a party killer but seeing as we were point blank we took the full brunt of the attack. So our either elemental body freezes solid in mid air. like a giant crystal Chandler. Mage panics  from our sudden appearance and the body falls to the ground shattering sending the covers and ice flying. 

We wake up in our body and are more than annoyed. so knowing that we can’t really stand up to that plus what might be a dark knight/ anti-palidin we make our next move. Marching up the the barn door in a rage we see the party still at. we join in and with the GMs okay summon up 5 magma elementals spiced up so that they look like a group of baby sloths. just a little group of squeaking and bumbling magma elementals. yes its adorable. 1 starts climbing on the supporting post, 2 go off into the hay, one starts climbing on the dark night, and the last is just slumped on the wall. Then everyone snaps back when the mage flys into a panic as the supports and hay start on fire. the ont on the dark knight upchucks some magma on to them and they are now screaming as the whole place is going up in flames.

At this point the monk is bending open wagon bars and the gunslinger id shooting off locks so the captives can get out. our bard half moon walks and half robots their way out of the barn. we are guiding the horde of people out the front door the monk and ranger come running out as 2 magma elementals apparently found a horse in the back to cuddle up to. and lastly the gunslinger stumbles out coughing and hacking while cursing at us with the mage who fell to the ground and broke their hands in toe. we assumed that as the barn caved in the dark knight got caught up in it.

After it all we learned that we had actually skipped over a long list of points right to the  lieutenants of a the cult we happen to have been fallowing. the mage some how teleported away but they left their notes. and from them we learned that not only did we cut off one of their collection chains but that we could also make some great bank from the horde of people we have if we returned them.