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#2) because they dont see the problem they keep posting very personal shit in ship tags
lovelyrotter · 24 days
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STILL feeling like the only fictive on this site whos really fuckin uncomfortable with other fictives talking about generally-to-really-personal shit and *tagging it with ships* like please. please stop. i want to look at davedirk in peace without some random guy running into the room yelling HEY YOURE LOOKING AT ME ACTUALLY. like bro i get it i am also ''a dave'' but im just a fuckin guy first. person first fictive 3rd tbh
#my t#i dont like talking about this stuff cause bad faith singlets take it and run with their already shitty opinions but like#you are not part of a ship. it just wigs me out cause of the nature of stridercest yknow it just really wigs me out#believe it or not irl incest scares the shit outta me. hot take i know#i joke about kissing ''my bro'' in my partner system but we're not related and have been together for 12 fuckin years and also *just kink*#i dont live in a delusion where i believe im kissing my actual fucking ectoparent#and talking about it to strangers like theyre gonna be okay with it and not shocked at all or assume that im actually#literally kissing my goddamn sibling. which makes my skin crawl just thinking about it#and ive got kinks on top of kinks including 'cestuous ones but like#i dunno i guess in my traumatized brain at surface level it leaves too much room#for - again my traumatized brain - to immediately go to the worst possible assumption which i wont go into and would never say to an#actual other person but like. i dunno its one of those triggery things where *im* the one#who should take myself out of the situation#but other ppl *really dont help* because 1) they dont see the problem of conflating themselves with fiction and#2) because they dont see the problem they keep posting very personal shit in ship tags#and bc the ship gets dark its just. uncomfortable to be around. i dont wanna know that about strangers#especially other fictives. cause i dont want them to think im okay with doing that to myself too#when i cant afford to be back there#we're already having massive reality issues i dont need to see that shit imma just block and move on
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homeshippinglikeapro · 7 months
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im back because i needed closure so i didnt think about this for the next 24 hours, you said a lot that refused to understand where i was coming from based on a fundamental misunderstanding on how i found your content so let me clear things up so i can at least move on and you dont have to let your rage boil. yes me coming back is digital self harm, i honestly dont give a shit about my needs rn though. i found your junejade post from a recommendation because i follow the #kanaya tag, not from going to your page, i do have situational awareness. second my trigger is very real and because of that, panic turned to anger, turned to rage. not saying i shouldve sent a 3 post diatribe but yknow! i called you terminally online because i was mad, pissed even, that something ive tried to keep away from my eyes as best as possible, hit it in two seconds, with terms ive never heard of because i dont follow the nuances of this shit. i wish you understood better that those were the words of a panicked angry mentally ill person, and not a faceless piece of digital paper for you to tear apart, and that im not just "hating" im genuinely getting upset and losing it, because thats how triggers can go sometimes. thanks for reading, care about yourself and all that jazz /gen im not being sarcastic
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ooook, so, a lot to unpack here (didn't wanted to, but oh well).
I accept you apology, don't worry, I know how being triggered by something can be. Not going to tell you that you shouldn't had to do it because 1- I already did, 2- you already recognize it yourself, it would be useless.
I admit I was very defensive, for lots of reasons: first of all, being loud and rude is just part of my personality (sometimes people thinks that I'm rude and mad even when I'm calm); I do get angry very easly but also calm down very easly (so don't worry about me); I tend to get like that mostly when I see somebody attacking innocent people (and I saw your comments as an attack to the person who requested me those drawings, I know NOW it wasn't true, still...); lastly, my community (the com/proship) is always under attack by antis and such (talking from experience).
I genuinly thought you were going to be a pain in the ass for the stuff I post even when I do what I can to let this stuff in the circle of people who WANTS to see this. And also the fact that you send lots of asks very quickly, accusing me and such (+ I woke up at 6 am with this shit) did made me jump-mad.
I'm only sorry that I took your comment as an "example" for other future people who might want to come and being bitches about all I make just because. But I'm not going to apologize for my tone.
For the tags thing, I'm not going to tag my drawings as "incest" for a simple reason: I think it's disrespectful (if you go to my main, you'll notice how I stopped using it). When I had problems, I searched in the incest tag and I still do believe that the tag should be used to discuss traumas, IRL situations, and similar. Don't want to put my very triggering stuff where people go to find solutions, discussions, help, etc, that's why I'm using the fictional/fandom equivalent to it, because, this way, only people who search for it (for coping/shipping reasons) can see it. I KNOW there are many people using the tag to post ship art, not going to be one of them.
With that being said, hope you'll block me very soon, not for me (I can very much handle all the insults and rage), defenetly for you.
Hope that's the clousure you wanted.
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joculatrixster · 1 year
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I posted 7,601 times in 2022
That's 780 more posts than 2021!
581 posts created (8%)
7,020 posts reblogged (92%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
inkstaindusk
ace-in-the-quiver
doodlebeeberry
asavt
I tagged 7,549 of my posts in 2022
Only 1% of my posts had no tags
#mod trix - 707 posts
#reblog for l8ter - 552 posts
#loz - 517 posts
#lol - 440 posts
#cookie run - 437 posts
#pokemon - 359 posts
#link - 285 posts
#yup - 217 posts
#zephyr - 178 posts
#cookie run kingdom - 166 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#as long as they respect skintones acting like a black person cant have big eyes or tiny noses is wwell gross! especially in a stylized styl
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
The current discourse revolving around Affogato Cookie is literally just Aloe Cookie but genderbent.
YUP i said it in my reply to anon its not about HIM specifically its a FANDOM WIDE ISSUE the fact this keeps happening is the issue. as one of the only fandoms w/ MULTIPLE CANON nonbinary and gnc cookies we cant keep forcing gender roles on cookies then acting a fool when they dint align w/ our assumptions this kind of thing is what makes pll not want to explore their genders because then they'll feel like there something else to them like they have to be gay or nonbianry. like i get u guys want to express thise hcs but the problem is i NEVER see ppl say cookies like cheesecake or chocolate bonbon are nonbinary or trans women no its always sour belt or aloe. why does Affogato HAVE to be a trans man or nonbinary but not dark cacao...? think about why u guys chose the LITTERAL man in a dress for ur trans hcs but not the strong heroic kingdom leader. thats fucked up. and trans men can hc whayever the FUCK they want i dont care but cis ppl and other trans ppl are ALSO buying into it and being upset he wasn't a she/her or they/them. thats when i get the issue. because this shit never spreads in the fandom unless a cookie is gnc and yall wanted them to be the opposite gender or nonbinary. if u make trans hcs even subconsciously because u dont like the assigned gender of a character thats. fucked. up.
this is coming from a bitch w/ a mostly trans and nonbinary friend group who loves dresses, skirts, and leggings im very much fem irl but i do not use she/her online. anyone coming across this in the tags pls stop assuming if someone disagrees w/ u they r automatically an enemy to ur cause lmao just tell me if u disagree and we can have a talk about it
36 notes - Posted February 25, 2022
#4
btw if u think kumiho is a slut/whore genuinely i hate u so much if u think its ok to insult her like that i want u hunted for sport
38 notes - Posted February 5, 2022
#3
if ur harassing ppl over info that came in a brand new update ur a bad person i dont care if canonly or heavily implied the dragons r all related the devs JUST dropped this info and ships like Ananas x Pitaya have been around for years. let ppl hae time to see the new info and change their stances on stuff yall r too fucking rude and stupid to understand that sometimes ppl dont play updates or dont have all the info before u run ur mouths istg
46 notes - Posted July 14, 2022
#2
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FELLAS IS IT GAY TO-
60 notes - Posted October 5, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
dear cookie run mutuals! i just got a reply on my post about how Cream Unicorn canonly did kidnap children(not even mentioning modifying 2 adults body w/out their consent) that was condescending and also woobifed cream unicorn cookie. once again fandom ppl assume when i point out the flaws of my favs it means im being malicious and misunderstand canon as if im an idiot newbie who doesnt understand what motivation is so i obviously make posts w/ouit understand that no bc ur fav was sad/lonely they get to do whatever they want
u know what that means?
war. this means war.
im gonna start Cream Unicorn cookie is a bit fucked up propaganda now. join me in my cause of being petty bc someone didnt bother to read my tags on my post for the millionth time!
Cream Unicorn cookie is a faerie who IS fucked up that DOESNT mean they r evil but it does mean they lack general human morales and will do things like *checks notes* kidnap children and keep them bc they r lonely bc they do not understand other ppl may like *check notes* not want to be trapped in a fantasy world forever! wow! look at that a valid interpretation of a character based off canon facts that doesn't woobify my fav or ignore their actions. ik its crazy to see it!
if u wish to see more of this join me in the cause!
63 notes - Posted July 28, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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sanchoyo · 3 years
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danny phantom season 2, eps 1-5 thoughts! opening the new season with episodes like these kinda blew me away. we had multiple serious episodes INCLUDING a two parter!! also, valerie :)
see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3
-I don't know what I expected s2 to open with. but danny portal incident in more detail was not it. (also, I hate to break it to you, sam, but danny's parent's bigass ghost hunting rv def chugs more gas than those vehicles, lmao. unless it runs on ectoplasm or something...)
-WHY WAS DESIREE IN THE SEWER? HAVING TEA WITH IT DOWN THERE?? Her making the giant cow come alive is a boss move, we've almost had all of my fav animals as ghosts now <3 I also don't like how sam was expecting danny to just, haunt the place so the cars wouldn't get sold? I KNOWWW I know she's 14 (and I had a very annoying phase like this, I think I mentioned in a previous post, I GET IT) but they're HIS powers, and messing with (1) dealership will not really put a dent in sales overall because they can just move the cars to another sales lot, and it certainly wont change the industry anyway, it's more of a minor annoyance for (1) location. Also, usually people who work at car sales places work on commission, so if they dont make a sale, they don't have money to pay bills, or eat. sam baby if u wanna be an activist you need to like, actually look into these things. with as much money as her parents have, she could be doing a lot..more useful things for causes she cares about? it's frustrating to see someone with resources who doesn't know how to use them. but shes 14 so again. cannot be really upset :/
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-IS THIS A PREDATOR VS TERMINATOR VS FREDDY KRUEGER MOVIE BUT THEYRE ALL WOMEN?? you know, sam is so right to be excited about this. /I/ want to see this movie. that rules
-paulina inviting danny and friends to her quinceañera, aw! even if it is just to get phantom to show up :') and there'll be a meteor shower, and we KNOW danny wants to be an astronaut!! there's not a meteor shower every night!! the tickets are non-refundable, but..she's rich? like. gotta agree with danny, they never get invited!! I KNOW it's the principle of keeping promises, but if she was that upset, she should've said something. directly. I hated how she was like, passive aggressive about it through the episode, like you SAID IT WAS FINE, THAT YOU'D GO TO THE PARTY TOO. MOVIES SHOW FOR A FEW WEEKS IN THEATERS. IF YOU HAD A REAL PROBLEM YOU NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT. WE'VE HAD THIS PROBLEM BEFORE, SAM. YOUR FRIENDS. ARE NOT. MIND READERS.
-MR. LANCER GOING AFTER THE GHOST WITH THE FIRE EXTINGISHER LMAO
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-this outfit is everything . anytime the show does an over the top cutesty pink outfit i WANT IT. it looks like shit I wear JKASDHF I HAVE a bow like that and a pink sweater. I need leg warmers </3
-SAMS GOTTA RE-HALF-KILL HIM??? thats fucked up. but also, he finally got his logo!! it took until s2!!! this episode was lowkey very fucked and I felt like it glossed over a lot. does sam have guilt about like. kinda KILLING HIM?? I know, he also agreed and walked into the portal. but. she made the choice to redo it SO quickly (even if it was because someone had to beat desiree) and danny, during their fight, brought up a lot of stuff sam's done in the past, meaning he was holding onto those memories and resentment was building. (I KEEP SAYING HE LOWKEY NEEDS THERAPY, BUT I THINK MOST EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW KINDA DOES) which...is a red flag? and then they didnt even GO to the party URGH I know she tried to make up for it, but it really felt like Sam fucked up and barely faced any consequences and got everything she wanted in the end. I KNOW it's a kids show obv they aren't going to go too in depth, and she undid the damage, kinda, but...I DUNNO how to articulate it but it rubbed me the wrong way.
-but on a note about desiree, her powers of wishes were STRONG ENOUGH TO ERASE NOT JUST THEIR MEMORIES, BUT DANNY'S POWERS?! fuck, if I was danny I'd be like, trying to make friends with her. I know they always have horrible side effects as most genie-granted wishes do, but...c'mon, I'd at least TRY to be like 'I wish no ghosts would hurt anyone in my town' or 'I wish vlad would lose his ghost powers forever no matter What and also forget about my mom' LIKE. SHIT DESIREE IS SO POWERFUL. rewriting reality powerful, basically!! appreciate her. respect her.
-aww, sam helping tucker pass the nurse's office so he wouldn't see because he's afraid of medical stuff? very sweet. I also don't like medical stuff, I've gotten a lot better at handling it tho. but seeing blood and needles still makes me feel lightheaded x_x
-FOLEY, BY TUCKER FOLEY. I want to make my own perfume, that's so cool. even if his first attempt isn't good, he's pretty consistently shown to have an inventor/entrepreneur streak in the show, so like. I can see him inventing or making something (or several somethings) that make him $$$ when he grows up :) proud of my creative son
-I know the 'creepy abandoned hospital on the edge of town' is a joke and the creepy hospital trope is so Worn Out, but in my town we actually DO have a hospital like that! my dad was born in it, but its not in use and hasn't been for, like, 20 years! it needs to be torn down but I think the city doesn't wanna pay the money. the inside is horrible, spray painted and broken glass and shit everywhere. but there's still like, rusty equipment and fucking DOLLS all over the place. the cops drive by it pretty frequently to make sure no one is like, breaking in. (because of water damage, some of the areas really aren't safe. also, asbestos, but people still go in anyway) but also, some of my town was used in a filming for a stephen king show. So it's lowkey spooky all over. just a fun personal tidbit :) to lead into saying, any hospital abandoned for any period of time is NOT safe to quarantine these kids in JKSAHDKF like I KNOW it's a ghost trying to do this, but NONE of these parents are even like, 'well, why dont we keep them in the regular, working hospital'....YIKES. this hospital looks pretty accurate to the one in town. grungy and spooky.
-fentons are tax evaders confirmed by jack's fear of being audited, lol no one is surprised
-ghost sickness via ghost bugs. horrifying concept. I actually expected it to be a new villain, not dr. spectra again! this is a very elaborate scheme. her new form rules, love the new costume. the way none of the bg kids seem to recognize her as their old school councilor. did we just forget about that completely?
-dash watching romance movies in the fucked up ghost hospital. same.
-'oh please, you're ghosts, do you have any idea what YOU smell like?' no, tucker, what DO ghosts smell like? I genuinely didn't know they would even have a smell, I actually want to know now.
-it feels like a while since we've seen jazz!! i was happy to see her again, even if she was a head in a jar for most the episode. I want another jazz-focused ep!!
-we finally see danny doing space-related stuff!! him and his friends stargazing to open ep 3 of s2. cute :) until, GHOST PIRATES!!!!! ...ghost pirate captain is a small child?? VOICED BY TAYLOR LAUTNER???
-oh, the easy listening is ember's song instrumental slowed. 'vapor drone' THEY VAPORWAVED HER!!! ember in a pirate outfit tho >>>>. and the cruise being called m.bersback JKASDHJK. ember adopting a little pirate brother is also pretty cute. concerning this teen and little kid have such bad opinions of adults, like, who hurt you?? (how did you DIE ALSO?? im always lowkey curious about that. we know desiree died at an old age, but her ghost form is young, probably mid-20s, so I wonder how that sort of thing works...its a more mental thing, isn't it?) but ghost team-ups are always cool to see, even if ember bailed after danny took her guitar. I guess she probably thinks youngblood can handle it (which, he's been owning danny this far in the ep, so...fair)
-tucker got that sponsorship from nasty burger for their radio!!! again, opportunistic money maker king, love to see it!!!
-danny taking control of the kids SO FAST. he makes a pretty great leader. no one is surprised, im pretty sure I said I think he's the most mature of the trio, once again, correct, because he's taken on so much responsibility already. all the teens suiting up in the jumpsuits to go save the adults and taking the ship over with a BLIMP. OKAY LETS GO. this feels like it should be a mid finale or straight up finale.
-...speaking of finales. why is ep 4-5 of s2 combined into a 50 minute episode? I havent even clicked play and im concerned. weird placement, like, this season JUST started and we're getting a two parter? okay...why are the episodes placed like this? why not put this at episode 10 or something, for a mid-season thing?
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-this is also a cute dress. possibly my fav dress so far. can her parents give ME cute dresses, I'LL wear them.
-it turns out the castle fright knight was in is called pariah's keep and there's something worse than fright knight in there! lovely! fuck off vlad wtf are you doing <3 your hubris <3 is going to literally get you killed <3 'ring of rage' and 'crown of fire' are great names tho. ...vlad turning into a super polite guy when he was scared of mr. pariah was hilarious. and fright knight doing the same...I mean, it makes sense, he's a knight, he serves a king? happy to see fright knight again either way :) vlad telling him to call him tho, lmfao. you WISH HE WOULD. (I wish hed call me, too. 😔)
-so...jack being genuinely concerned about vlad...maddie really didn't tell him what happened at the cabin, did she. damn. if I was her id immediately come home and be like 'YOU WONT BELIEVE THIS SHITTTT THIS CREEPY GUY--' like, I feel like that stuff you need to tell your partner!!! I know she didnt want Jack to think she was an irresponsible parent putting danny in danger at that time, but STILLLL. maddie spilling boiling tea on him. get his ass. how is jack this oblivious to his wife's discomfort with vlad!! ughhh
-fenton wipe (tm). trademarked toilet paper.
-DANNY AND VALERIE BEING FRIENDS??? :D that was a cute moment. 'hey val <3' and 'if you like him like him, make a move, or someone else will ;)' at sam...damn!! I love her. valerie go for it girl!!! I hate how sam and tucker treat val also, like I GET IT YOURE PROTECTIVE AND DONT TRUST but if anything him befriending valerie will help when she finds out or he tells her like I feel like she'll be more understanding that they think! ALSO I feel like her reason for not liking ghosts is valid, like you haven't really explained the full story to her anyway! she doesn't seem to have any other friends after being booted from the a-listers so im like :( but seeing them kick butt together again was nice <3
-the ghosts all RUNNING FROM PARIAH DARK IS NOT GOOD, I thought he sent them to attack or something, but no. why doesn't someone just tell desiree 'hey i wish pariah dark would die' lol. once again I think she can solve every problem <3 but seeing all the enemies in one place, being civil and hiding together? love it.
-you just know danny's gonna have to clean up vlad's stupid mess. also, jack being willing to put on the ectoskeleton pants to help maddie, as soon as vlad heard it could kill him, he suggested jack do it instead of helping maddie himself? this is why jack got the girl, my man.
-ghost skeletons. how do you end up as a skeleton ghost in your afterlife instead of a humanoid like most the ones we've seen? lmao
-the ghosts just making new homes in various stores. I'd totally be setting up in an expensive clothing store if I was a ghost.
-valerie's dad is possibly the most useful adult so far, with that ghost shield expansion!!! and valerie saving vlad and danny, even tho shes been thru it already, shes still so good!!! this family rules.
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-danny: *gently caresses valerie* :)
-*then he immediately TELLS HER DAD ON HER. and his first response is 'are you okay?' :'( such a good dad...
-*me every time fright knight breathes* youre doing SO great sweetie :)
-the fenton suit thing is so silly looking. does anyone take this thing seriously
-ALL THE GHOSTS FIGHTING WITH DANNY <3 AAAAA. and the fact that pariah isn't perma-defeated, but just locked away again. yikes. he'll probably get out again, won't he? it wasn't too clear, but if vlad DID make a pact with fright knight, I am rabid. I will beat vlad to death with the fenton bat (tm). YOU DONT DESERVE A COOL KNIGHT.
-valerie being direct with sam and challenging her? kinda love that, even tho I normally don't like 'catfight' type situations. because sam has been very passive aggressive about it which is annoying. valerie knows wtf she wants and wasn't even embarrassed to tell sam, but she did tell her, giving sam time to make her own move! and sam denied it and got embarrassed/mad! and sam did have a chance when danny was about to go off and fight, and she hesitated and didn't tell him. I feel like she's hesitating because they're friends and it might make it weird between the trio (poor tucker would be third-wheeling) but if u snooze u lose, u gotta GO after what u WANT girl. smh this is a No Tsundere Zone. 😤
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godwithwethands · 3 years
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lmao i don't know all your shipping preferences but can i say, i much prefer sam with ba'al than with jack (this might be because i'm a high jack/daniel shipper but also, i just prefer the sam/ba'al vibe over the sam/jack vibe)
I'm a multishipper so I ship pretty much everything simultaneously: I love JackDaniel too 🥰🥰🥰 They are so cute and so good for eachother 🥺
Honestly yeah I prefer the vibe of BaalSam to JackSam as well 👁️👅👁️ But that's personal taste and interpretation of course 🥴
Oh no now I feel like explaining in depth why I love Baalsam and why I ship it... oh no... someone stop me 😩... LET'S FREAKING GO I'M GONNA EXPLAIN WHY!!!!
Mino’s “Here’s why I love BaalSam so much” aka just me gathering up the few baalsam crumbs the show writers, Amanda Tapping and Cliff Simon left in their wake....and baking a cake with those crumbs.
Before I start, PSA: English is not my first language, so please bear with me if there are any mistakes 😭
Okay so I feel like at first I can't explain it without mentioning the differences with jacksam, and to all jacksam shippers: I love jacksam to bits too and they're so good, as the show has showed us multiple times, but I miss a little spice here 😩🌶️
I will also briefly talk about things I have found in Baalsam fics that I adore in (Fic points)!! And link back to fics I love with (x)!!!!
(Mid-writing note: I realize I say a lot about Baal and less about Sam, and that is because I just think about Baal way much than I think about Sam, mainly because we have so little Baal screentime compared to Sam’s screentime. I often wonder how/what he feels and try to analyze his behavior closely. 🥺 I don’t do it as much with Sam, sadly 😭
1. The ship dynamic scale (totally made up by yours truly, me 😎)
I often describe the ships I prefer as "A is obnoxious and B is struggling to stay sane" (maybe because it is a description of my own relationship??? 🤔) (this is exagerrated for fun and giggles don't worry i am fine and happy). They are all a variation of this, in different levels. I'd say jacksam fits level 1, Jack being obnoxious sometimes but in an endearing, jokingly, "aww you're such a goof 😍😂" way, and Sam's not really struggling, she just laughs and shakes her head, her heart full of love for her man.
Baalsam on the other hand. Oh boy. They are on level 5 out of 5. What the hell. Baal is obnoxious, in the villain way. And that means, a VERY extra way. He's mean obnoxious. Putting salt in the wound obnoxious. "if you don't shut up I will punch your teeth in/shoot you" obnoxious. Sam is struggling every minute to stay sane with this crazy motherfucker. He's SO MUCH. ALL THE TIME. But joke's on her, she also thinks it's funny. 🤡 That's her sanity flying out the window.
Seriously, Sam has to put her foot down. She has to play Baal’s game and sometimes be mean too. I feel like Baalsam allows Sam to unveil her true potential. A strong woman who takes no shit from men and 2000 years old overlords. She can be 200% true, smug, mean. Maybe JackSam respect each other too much they wouldn’t dare saying/doing some things like Baalsam would  🤔 Maybe Sam is restrained by everything she lived with Jack, the respect she has for him, the 10 or so years spent having him as her superior officer.
A lot think that Sam got her smug from Jack, but I don’t agree: she was smug from the get-go in COFG. She just can’t be too smug with him around or it’d sound like insubordination. Aint she tired of being nice? Doesn’t she wanna go apeshit? That’s what baalsam is. Sam going apeshit and quitting being the perfect nice girl.
Baalsam is an explosive volcano and it ravaged me 😩💖💖💖
2. Baal is a Villain
Send him to horny villain jail!!! BONK!!! 💥🔨
Baal being a villain is VERY important. Villains are so extreme. Everything he does, he does way too hard and too much. His evil plans? As layered as an ogre. Onion. I meant onion. His wardrobe? Nothing but the finest. His love? He'd give his Queen the Universe.
I love that. Everything he does, it's too much. But it's so amazing. Urghhj I love it SO MUCH. Sam is overwhelmed 😩💖 All of that for HER?? Damn, boi either really wants to get laid with her especially or.. 🙊‼️ I love the concept of a Villain’s Love because it knows no boundaries. A villain won’t be held back by things like morals, the love they feel is disproportionate......AND I DONT KNOW Sam being able to provoke this kind of feeling in Baal’s little snake heart makes me lose my absolute fucking mind!!!!! 
Very important too: even if he becomes a SGC ally in one way or another in whatever AU, Baal will still keep his good ol' villain habits. Sam would try to tone them down, but they will always be there. You don't erase 2000 years of bad habits 😭. His first solution will be murder, and she will go "we talked about this." Classical Enemies to Lovers shit  🥴💖 (x)
(Fic point: When Baal does something so extreme yet so so soooo damn sweet for her and Sam can’t believe it??? 10/10 Or when he acts on his villain plans for distasteful jokes and that puts Sam on a tight spot and he immediately feels bad at the unfair treatment she gets because of him (x))
3. The endless verbal jousting
I love watching them being mean to each other. If Baal goes too far, she /would/ hit him, and he would turn his other cheek saying "Do it again, loved it". What a freak 🥴🌶️ (x)
Honestly I just love their little sparring matches, even more so when they do it in front of an audience. Like lmao guys..... y'all flirting in front of everyone what the hell!!! BONK !! 💥🔨 horny jail for both of you. At least Teal’c seems to enjoy their jousting  😂 He even teases them holy shit, Teal’c is the true multishipper in that show!!!!
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(Fic point: When they argue and come to a fistfight (mostly Sam hitting and Baal taking or blocking the hits)? HELL YEAH!!!!)
4. Admitting the other’s qualities
I’ll start with Baal:
Baal seems to appreciate the courage Sam shows in front of him. You could explain her confidence in The Quest by saying that at this very moment Baal doesn’t have an advantage on Sam since she’s the one holding the gun. There is something else, and I will bring it up later.
Let’s talk about Reckoning!!!! The situation is different, Baal actually called for help whereas he was supposed to kill everyone on Dakara. And here goes the little sparring match in front of Jacob  🤡 Sam ordering Baal around??? Being smug as hell??? 10/10 love it
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It’s the first time he sees her and he’s taken aback. He should look mad, having a woman addressing him like that. But he looks rather surprised and curious of what’s going to happen next. I can literally hear the little “Hm. Interesting.” in his head. Baal enjoys that smug look on her face. Tau’ri female who??? Who IS she!!! Quick gotta be a jerk so she won’t suspect I’m crushing super hard right now!!!! Cliff Simon decided Baal will be the horny one among the System Lords and holy shit he did just that 😂😂😂 i’m sorry i’m just incohenrently babbling at this point I CANT BELIEVE THIS, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH!!!!!!!! you thought that huge ass post was going to be me thoughtfully bringing points and evidence? nope it’s just me losing my shit.
I believe that, despite what Baal says, he recognizes Sam’s intelligence to some extent. He’s just too proud to say it clearly and is too busy testing Sam’s limits. The more I think about it, the more I feel like he really looked for that punch in The Quest. Some kind of... I don’t know... “What makes you so special, as a female Tau’ri, to be on your kind’s elite scout team? How much can you take before you retaliate, if you retaliate at all? Show me what you’re made of.” kind of thing? Baal has shown some kind of interest in Earthlings in the past. He has studied them while living among them and he seems to like how different they are from other humans, Now he knows she’s as fierce as she needs to be to survive in this galaxy.
Have you sEEN his smile and his laugh after she punched him in The Quest? AFTER SHE TURNED HER BACK TO HIM TOO, OH, MY GOD. He really wanted a drastic reaction from her and he got it.
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That is a “I love me a woman who can kick my ass” kinda smile if you ask me  👁️w👁️...
What makes me think that it was a test is: after the punch and Sam’s threat to kill him, he stops being so annoying and they can finally work together. But why? Why did he care about being killed? He was a clone, there’s no way he was still hoping to steal the Sangraal from SG-1, so his mission as this one Baal clone couldn’t be fulfilled anyway. That makes me think that he was just testing Sam’s limits, and maybe having a little fun with her.
(Fic point: I LOVE IT when Baal gets access to the SGC and everyone gets on his nerves because he thinks they are all dumb as shit. But when he talks with Sam, he’s not so annoyed. She can keep up with him. Well, sometimes she needs a little help but- Maybe she’s okay to be with sometimes...(x))
Sam’s turn: 
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It’s no problem for Sam to admit Baal’s intelligence. However the idea of working with him just makes her go [grimacing emoji]  😭 😭 😭 She just knows he’s gonna be obnoxious pfahahaha But!! She trusts and values his knowledge nonetheless! She knows that teamed up with Baal, they can solve anything. I believe that’s why she asks him for help so easily despite...Well, Baal being Baal.
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I feel like, when you put the "it’s a matter of life and death” thing aside, Sam’s desire to learn could push her towards Baal. She knows there is a lot she could learn from him, and they can work together once he stops insulting her every 5 seconds. She can learn from him in those moments.
(Fic point: I love fics where Sam learns things from Baal... It’s usually very sweet, because Sam is absolutely adorable when she’s excited about science and Baal can’t help but melt a little bit when she smiles so bright at him. Thankful.) 
5. Sam’s kindness 
I said earlier that, as we all know, Baal is a villain. But what’s important here is that he is a Goa’uld System Lord. 
No trust, no kindness and love allowed between those guys. Those would leave the door open for treason and low blows. (See Qetesh in Continuum)
(I believe the only Goa’ulds truly in love we saw were Apophis and Amaun’et)
Now what I tell myself is: that must be pretty freaking lonely. In any shape or form. You can’t have friends, because you can only befriend your fellow godlings who will try to kill you at any given opportunity. Same for mates. 🤔 Baal is just alone at the top of his army and that’s all. What if this isn’t enough? He is different from other Goa’ulds.
What if Sam’s genuine worry and thankfulness towards him in Reckoning were the first time he had someone feel those towards him for like, hundreds, or even thousands of years? Not something distorted and stained by any slave-to-god adoration?
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He is soooo surprised. He even stutters a little? At a loss for words when faced with kindness, you, galactic overlord? And she looks actually worried about him and his ship about to go down, when before saying thank you, she asks him what’s going on. I like to think that this first interaction shaped what Baal will think and feel for Sam forever....And that it made him a bit soft for her  🥺 Maybe he sees in Sam (and in the rest of SG-1, see: how much fun he’s having with them during The Quest) a possibility for friendship and maybe more, something he hasn’t considered for A WHILE. He seems to be thinking “did she really say that...wait what do I answer to this...uh....Good luck.......ok i said it. damn that was weird.” 
Also can I briefly talk about this??
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Why does Sam look so embarrassed in a “Oh god right Dad is right there and saw all of that hUM.” way 😂 I don’t think she felt like it was creepy, since Baal was just responding to her kindness, and she definetely doesn’t want to talk about her being nice to a System Lord with Jacob bjfdjgbfdg
(Fic point: All I can think of is this fic where Sam gets thrown in a prison cell with a badly beaten up Baal (his symbiote is not able to heal his wounds because of a collar he wears), and she refuses to leave him there to die. They escape together 😭💖💖💖 (x))
6. Sam knows Baal will never hurt her
Maybe this is a result of Sam’s kindness in Reckoning, but Baal made it clear to Sam that he would never hurt her directly. And this is what I was referring to when I said “there’s something else” in Sam’s confidence in confronting Baal. This line below activates all of my monkey braincells because what the hell!!!!
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That’s “I kinda like you” in Villain language is it not????? Out of all the things Baal could have answered to “You can kill me if you want”, he decides to say “I would never dream of killing you.” with a voice so soft... oh my god. Talking about soft....
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Is it me or Baal’s touch on Sam is kind of gentle....like he doesn’t hold her wrist too tight or anything,,,,  🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭💖💖💖 Because honestly, another Goa’uld would have yanked on her arm so hard to put their hands on that hard drive but no no no he just closes his hand on her wrist and lets her go gently when she pulls out of his grip and AM I OVERANALYZING THIS?????? IM SORRY I GOT THAT TRAIT FROM MY DAD!!!!!!! we just have that tendency to watch things over and over again to notice all the small detailsssss
I like to think that afterwards, once the heat of the moment gone, she noticed that, hey. He /could/ have hurt her very badly, she was at his mercy after all. But he decided against it. Maybe because she’s the only one who’s been nice to him for literal cenTURIES????? HHHNHNHNHNHN I CANT!!!!!!!!!!! I HOPE SHE NOTICED IT!!!! And that it’s why she’s so confident addressing him like she does in The Quest.
I think I’ve addressed pretty much everything here and I’m going to talk about more things I like about BaalSam but more on the headcanon side  🤔
Miscellaneous: 
About Baal’s host:
I have said multiple times that Baal is different from other Goa’ulds, and I really don’t think it is just an act. 
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He is willing to break the god act, change strategies when he realizes there are better ways to proceed, searching for new allies in drastic situations, etc etc... Baal is way more human than other Goa’ulds.
What if that was because Baal let his host’s thoughts influence his own?
Why wouldn’t there be asshole humans wanting to be hosts to asshole Goa’uld symbiotes? Just like the Tok’ra, but on the villain side? (even if Tok’ras are assholes lol) (except Jacob. I love Jacob) (And Martouf) (I don’t like Martouf but he’s the only one with Jacob that I consider a Real Tok’ra) (The other ones are hypocrites) (ANYWAY!)
I love to think that when Baal doesn’t have the flanged voice, it is his host who speaks, as Tok’ras do. I know symbiotes don’t have to talk with the flanged voice but. Having Baal and his host thinking so alike that it doesn’t matter if it’s the host or the symbiote talking makes so much sense to me. It really could explain his different way of thinking. Baal has shown curiosity for humans and how they think, how to better manipulate them...What if it was because of the good experience he has with his host? It could also explain why he’s the horny one amongst the System Lords 😂 He is just very human in a lot of ways.
Now you’re like “ok but what does that have to do with Baalsam” AND YEAH I HEAR YOU !!!! I just think it may be easier to imagine Baalsam for a non-shipper if you see Baal in that light?  🤔 🤔 🤔 it sure helps Sam seeing herself with him in fics 🥴 I don’t know!!! We know so little about Baal, and there are so many possibilites. I’m going way out of the Baalsam remit but at the same time, I strongly believe those who don’t understand the ship are those who stop their analysis of Baal at Abyss. He is so much more than just “that one Goa’uld who tortured and killed Jack in that one episode”. Baal has so much potential that makes this ship work!! Sam seeing that potential makes this ship work!
Sam hosting Baal (yes, the symbiote):
OKAY OKAY OKAY SO!!! This is something I LOVE to bits!!
That’s a thing that is great if as I said, Baal and his host are on the same wavelength. But it can work without it nonetheless.
Sam hosting Baal, consensual or not, is always ALWAYS such an amazing trope. (x) It’s really something that makes me hyperventilate because it makes them so close...so blended...it’s infinitely intimate... When Baal is in love with Sam, it’s even better. (x) I almost can’t describe it because it is so wonderful. Being able to feel each other’s feelings. Baal healing Sam from inside when she’s injured. Sam deciphering his emotions and most importantly the affection he has for her, especially when he still haven’t confessed it? holy shit it’s SO DAMN GOOD!!!!! The silent conversations they can have within Sam’s head, Baal pouring Goa’uld knowledge into Sam’s mind. It’s just the two of them and I can’t express how comforting that is to read.
i don’t know, random stuff I like i guess, I’m almost done: 
He just really craves her attention huh. Look at that smile, so cute...”I’m smart! Did you know I’m smart as hell? Of course you did. But I Would Like You To Acknowledge It.” He’s even bouncing on his heels, i love when he does that!!!! He is turning towards Sam especially too  😭💖 and she’s just ê____ê LMFAO
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(Maybe this is just another “it is my speciality and not yours” moment but hey i like to give him the benefit of the doubt 💖)
Baal being “I’m tired of being a villain, I want to be loved now”...Aren’t you tired of going apeshit? Don’t you want to be nice? just a little bit?
Baal using so much petnames so easily... i’m usually not a fan of those but having him saying “my love, my sweet” etc etc oh fuck!!!!! i don’t know wHY it gets me!!! 
A lot of Baalsam fics are smutty, and while I enjoy that, I still think they have so much potential on the spiritual level. They’re both nerds and they both have so many things to learn from the other. (x)
Baal taking Sam on his ship to show her some neat space stuff.
Baal loving motorcycles just like Sam and modifying engines with naqadah.
Guess i’m just gonna link to fics I love now nvkjfdg and that I haven’t linked to already--
In the Lap of the Gods - Rating: M - Sam gets stuck in a sarcophagus with Baal. Really well thought fic, I love it!!!
The Mating game - Rating: M - Ten dates. Can I call this slow burn? It’s slow but not too slow. Please read this, it’s hilarious and so well written like- this fic makes me lose my absolute shit!
The Mating Game: Endgame - Rating: E - Read after The Mating Game. Honestly yEAH!!! Amazing sequel to an already amazing prequel, what else can I say 😩💖 you got some Host!Sam action in this too!!
Enemy Amongst Us - Rating: E - Hmmmm Sam falling for Baal is always yummy 🥴 It has more than that, it’s pretty wild!!!!!!
Those are not all but they are the ones i prefer 🥺💖💖💖 (along the ones I linked during the essay) 
I think I’m done? Congratulations for reading all of this lmao  😭💖 I hope you can see why I love Baalsam so much now!! They are just SO MUCH FUN!!! 
feel free to send me asks and stuff about this TvT/
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romolite · 4 years
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*Important FAQ*
Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.
[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]
I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.
First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa
Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)
Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa
Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?
Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for  “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.) 
Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all.  I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.
Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.
Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?
There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about
non-transfem- TME
non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT
non-trans - cis
Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!
At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb. 
And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.
Is x AAVE?
I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.
Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?
Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.
I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.
And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.
And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other
Can you give me advice on x?
Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.
I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.
Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?
Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following
Why do you hate Ao3?
*long sigh*
I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.
And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?
What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?
[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]
TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.
What’s wrong with Hamilton?
Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all. 
Can you tag x?
I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”
Do you tag slurs?
I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur
Can I message you about something/someone?
Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.
Do you want to be mutuals?
I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.
Why is it important to have byf or about?
1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion
2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)
3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.
Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.
I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).
Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time
I sent you an ask and you never answered it!
It’s likely that
I never got it
You were blocked
I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq
It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)
You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering
I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.
You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )
Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.
Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?
Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.
Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.
Why am I blocked? Check here.
Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?
I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.
Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course! 
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wirethroat · 3 years
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Apologies to my OFF fandom buddies for the moomin fuckery. It just annoys me when people feel like everyone on the internet needs to behave like they're dealing with the sensitivities of a very small child. Yes, you never know what the person behind the screen is dealing with, and that's something you should always keep in mind when dealing with strangers, but you also have to keep in mind that you dont really KNOW any ot these people. Like. At all. The person who's being ""elitist"" about snufmoom portrayals (like... of all things to get your boxers in a wad about) is just some fucking rando on the internet, not some celebrity with a PR team. Like... if someone wants to say "I think contemporary depictions of snufmoom in media is kind of vapid" then they're entirely within their rights to do so in their personal space on the internet.
There's this really dumb perception that all criticism on the internet has to somehow be constructive or positive, and I just think that's moronic. If someone wants to not be positive about something they genuinely hate, fuckin let em!! They don't owe you anything. People shouldn't have to be positive all the time, and I think that's a huge problem within the moomins fandom. Not being a sweet, saccharine uwu baby about a fucking fictional ship of all things doesn't make you a bad person. Especially if you're not even addressing anyone in particular. Double especially if you're making very mild statements on your own personal blog that people can take 2 seconds out of their life to block if they dont like the kind of content that exists on it. Other emotions and opinions aside from "wow this is so lovely and cute and awesome :D" exist and acting like you have a right to tell others to suppress them just makes you come off as kind of a condescending, self righteous prick. Like, congratulations, stranger, you're the nicest person in the moomins fandom. Whaddya want from me, a medal?
Even if you are the nicest person in the moomins fandom, it doesn't change the fact that I think (and since this apparently not obvious enough, this is my PERSONAL OPINION) the way the moomins fandom portrays snufkin and snufmoon is really ooc, vapid, and overall kind of gross and fetishy. If you portray snufmoom in a certain way, I probably won't like it, and I am entirely within my rights to say so here on my blog, and I dont have to apologize for being opinionated. It would be one thing if someone was going under each and every piece of cringy snufmin yaoi and writing "THIS IS SHIT, YOU'RE SHIT, YOU'RE NOT DOING THINGS THE WAY I LIKE >:(", because that's not even criticism and is just kind of dickish, but if they write something like "wow snufmin isn't that good and I don't like it, I wish less popular characters got some love" on their own personal blog, then who are you to come into their own space and whine at them for not being nice enough? They don't owe you anything. They dont even know you.
If you see a post about snufmoom being kind of gross and masturbatory, and its not mentioning anyone specifically, calling anyone out, or insulting anyone's art, then maybe the fact that you get all whiny about it is kind of telling. Idk, why don't you go draw snufkin and moomin having gay sex to calm down, stinky? I can't stop you. Someone's shitty little tumblr blog post can't stop you. There are legions of people who love that shit. Why dont you go talk to one of the six hundred billion people on Tumblr.com who seem to only be able to get their dick up when it involves a Mumrik getting pegged? That might make you happier than getting pissed because someone doesnt think the genre of art you draw is good.
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bladekindeyewear · 4 years
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HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-03-12
I have been told only a few things about the upd8 that just landed, over Discord by two people:
upd19 feat. 4,901,157 read it. now. note: the featuring note is accurate if in a different base than what you might be expecting
What the fuck does that even mean.
Okay Pretty good chapter.
...from another friend who VERY dislikes HS^2?  Oh shit.
I also glimpsed a post that may or may not have been about Homestuck at all at the top of my Tumblr feed for an instant that said “YES YES YES YES YES” in huge bold print.  I have no idea whether to be excited or nervous.
Okay, it’s not a Bonus update... let me comb through from an earlier page to be careful not to get a spoilerlook at the pagecount...
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...huh.  That seems... like a conversation that would be up my alley, but not necessarily unique so far or worth all this crowing about.  I thought we were about to get Dirk-aliens with a full Horschestra backing... are we getting something else?
> CHAPTER 6. A Conversation Regarding Relevance
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Hmmmmmmmm.  With the contrast between their reactions and this ominous buildup, there’s got to be a serious fun-twist coming.  Right?  --I’ll stop with that talk for the moment though.
space is vast. an unproductive statement, almost a tautology. [...]
Alright, that and the starry background are riffing the fuck off Star Trek.  Nice homage to Andrew’s roots.
the lives of the many are far too volatile and instinct-driven
Alt!Callie what the fuck are you doing.  This is intentional now.  You can’t play this off as “what’s a Star Trek”.
tautologies are, in general, reserved for stories. for narrative device. for finding new and inventive ways to tell an audience that which they already know.
God damnit she’s still doing it
neither of us ever able to convince the other of the righteousness of our stance. we were never meant to agree. it isn’t in our blood.
Blah blah overanalyzing classpect blah
when they scoff at my tautology ‘space is vast’, what do they really know? nothing. as far as any of them have experienced, space does not exist.
It’s still nice to see some real personality leak through on Alt!Callie.  We definitely know from her other self that she can develop quite a relatable and colorful one.  Have the years helped?
> ==>
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dramantic pouse... ........
Also,
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-look at that collar.  Damn, Callie, that is a collar
very few have stood and looked into the abyss, the true gulf of nothingness that spreads out around the single point of consciousness adrift in a constellation. all the combined weight of sentient endeavour would quail underneath that sheer, irresistible truth. the realization that they are so small, that the universe cares about their puny lives so very little. sitting in the glowing light of the stars this becomes even more apparent
In the official aspect quiz I never took the time to analyze, the aspects were put on a wheel where Space was a neighbor to Void, if I recall correctly.  I wonder how much those aspects engender feelings of goddamnit I’m doing it again aren’t I
...
are we out of orange juice?
Yesss let more personality Alt!Callie bleed through, more of it~
Wait, does Alt!Callie even taste through Jade?  Isn’t this remote control?  Is she vicariously drawing pleasure from Jade’s not-just-meat-or-candy mostly-human taste buds or?
> ==>
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JADE: are you talking to me? JADE: because if you are i would like to remind you that i hate!! orange juice!!
OH FUCK YES!!! SHE’S IN THERE AND AWAKE!!! SHE STILL HAS AT LEAST ENOUGH AGENCY TO BE PRESENT AND ARGUE WITH CALLIE! YESSSSSS
no you don’t.
JADE: well i guess i never really had a strong opinion on it before JADE: but now i cant stand it!! JADE: its all you drink!
i like the pulp.
QUIT INADVERTANTLY FORCING SHIT ON JADE WITH NARRATIVESPEAK GIVE HER A BIT OF LEEWAY ALT!CALLIE YOU CONTROLLING--
JADE: its my body and i dont want orange juice! JADE: i hate pulp, and i didnt just make that up to spite you JADE: who wants strings in their juice?
i do.
JADE: ughhhhhhhhh
I have had friends hopefully fantasize about and/or therapeutically roleplay this exact situation with Jade breaking through and arguing with Alt!Callie’s control to make this all a fair bit more palatable but I didn’t dare to hope we’d get even THIS much
Maybe the HS^2 authors DO care about not leaving us wallowing in hopeless witness to the characters’ constant torture and existential turbosuffering!!!! :#D
i realize that jade’s situation is less than ideal from a characterization perspective, but i still politely point out that nobody likes a whiner.
Fuck you, this isn’t CALIBORN you’re trying to repress you asshole!  Leave Jade some AGENCY!!!!!  She deserves it!!
JADE: fuck you rude calliope inside my head!
YES EXACTLY
JADE: why dont you try being possessed by the spirit of some other version of a good friend of yours, and floated around a spaceship full of people you love JADE: unable to affect anything or say hello to anyone! JADE: then tell me about whiners!
i killed my brother and consumed him.
JADE: sounds like a you problem
Compromise and give her some agency finally come on compromise and give her some agency you red-text twatwaffle
i suggest to the witch that i have spent untold eons in the void between universes, waiting for the moment i would be needed to prevent the dissipation of reality as we know it. her appeals to emotion will not help her. i will remain unmoved.
Oh god damnit.
JADE: well i had to watch my boyfriend and my brother die in front of me on a tiny scaled version of a world that i shrunk for them! JADE: and then spend the next three years talking to myself, wracked with guilt that id killed them!
Oh. God. Damnit.  This had better not be where the Suicide trigger warning was coming from.  Are there going to be any characters left who DIDN’T emerge from this mess feeling suicidal?!?  (I mean if there were any understandable case it would be three years alone on the golden ship Jade but-- I mean COME ON, we have to discuss that in our FIRST GLIMPSE at her since the epilogues?!?)
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i remind the witch that my time was in the void, which is far darker and lonelier [...]
Oh fuck you don’t compare suffering as an excuse to COMPLETELY body-enslave and squash the agency of someone when you probably don’t have to.  You’re just doing what’s COMFORTABLE alt!Callie admit it.  There’s a way you could give her some leeway, I’m almost positive.
JADE: even if i had the powers of a first guardian, my brain still worked in modules of human pattern recognition! JADE: three years is a long time for a human teenager, i dont care how many of her molecules are made of a god!
(i love it when jade talks smart, that bit of the epilogues was a treat too, plz reveal more of the big brain on jade)
It seems Jade can’t see or quite understand the full import of there being a “narrative”.  Or THINKS she cant, because she still says:
JADE: your voice is impossible to read and i cant see your face
If she’s “reading” alt!Callie’s remarks, that means she’s breaking through to understand the narrative to SOME extent.  She might be one of the ones who learns to do that a little more and better in the future, especially with alt!Callie almost unintentionally training her to see it.
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Oh, good.  So A!C’s not above being considerate.  That’s a step in the right direction.
> ==>
D’aww, Jade conceding and trying to empathize like her usual self.  I appreciate it.  :)  --but Alt!Callie’s definitely in the wrong here.
JADE: but i think it is a very natural thing to be silly when you are used to being able to control your own body, but now cant
i will allow that, yes.
Thanks.  Learn some damned reason.
jade smiles. dave and karkat will always be a source of pain for her, a low ache somewhere in her center of gravity, but she is happy for them. she knows that there is really no other alternative for how to be. they chose each other over her, and they always will. they are the two people who matter to her the most in every universe, and that will not change, no matter how much she wishes it would, no matter how--
JADE: do you actually know that?
pardon me?
Oh, shit.
JADE: do you actually know that im doomed to pine over dave and karkat across every iteration of reality? JADE: like, can you actually see that? JADE: because youre a space player, like i am. JADE: i know that you are more powerful than me, but i dont think you can see other timelines any better than i can JADE: so i think you are just being dramatic JADE: for the “audience”, whatever the heck that means
i experience a moment of unease as jade looks at me. keeping her out of my thoughts is proving to be more difficult than i had first assumed it would be.
That’s a damned interesting question.  I was giving the narrative the benefit of the doubt, but given everything the Epilogues warned us about when it came to the narrators and alt!Callie’s occasional slips into her own bias, I really should have known better.
i had begun confident that i could keep her consciousness sleeping peacefully inside the shell of her body, tamed and quiescent, but she has proved to be more irascible than i initially gave her credit for.
JADE: heheh JADE: i have never been particularly tamable, and my consciousness is huge!
This might end up playing out more like my friend’s Jade-breaks-out roleplays than I initially assumed.  (What does she mean “huge consciousness” though?  Superpowered due to part-First-Guardian, like she alluded earlier in the conversation?  That never got much play before, so it’s great to see that potential realized here a bit...)
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...I’m a fucking idiot.  Of COURSE “huge consciousness” and the whole line around it was just an unsubtle double-entendre.  A small part of me actually wondered if it was and dismissed it as a clumsy reading in an instant.  How stupid am I?  Jade is the best.
If only this sort of thing worked on Cherubs.
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Yeah.  It really doesn’t.
...Alt!Callie, you are a fucking war-criminal for bottling all these double-entendres up where none of the others can appreciate them.
> ==>
JADE: you are a pretty tough crowd, evil callie JADE: but yes, i can hear most of what you are thinking to yourself JADE: it took a little while to separate it from my own thoughts, just like it did with dirk JADE: because thats what he was doing the whole time, wasnt it? JADE: controlling our thoughts JADE: making us believe things we never would, things he thought we SHOULD believe
Fucking excellent.  She’s definitely training herself on this shit.  The more people who have a harder time getting fooled by this nonsense the better.
jade knows all of this, i don’t have to tell her. she is a very bright girl, and even if she didn’t have partial access to my thoughts, she is good at compiling data and using it to fill in gaps. as she herself had rather licentiously mentioned, her brain is quite large.
C:
and all of these reasons are why i know i can count on her to be reasonable and realistic about her situation. i need a body to continue interfacing with this timeline, and her body is the only one that will do.
Dammit.  Trying to get her to logic her way back into keeping Alt!Callie in complete control.  That’s a tactic that will probably work.  :(
what about [kanaya], jade? she is a space player, it is true, but her powers are nothing compared to yours. for one, she isn’t god tier, and for two, she is dead. a living dead, but dead nonetheless.
Hm.  Are you saying she maybe has less relevance, less of an effect on her surroundings because she spent some of her “cred” on unconventional partial resurrection?  To the extent where she’d make a less influential vessel?  Hmm.
For that to even matter, you have to be planning to use Jade’s Space powers too.  Taking a far more active role in things than narrative beacon.
and a sylph’s specializations lie on a different end of the spectrum from my own. a witch is a far closer match.
!!!!!
Sounds like details of the classpect system that we don’t know will have relevance in HS^2, and we’re indeed gonna possibly get some actual new, clearer details about the system Andrew invented unlike the dearth of new info the Epilogues brought us.  That is... promising.
no, jade understands and sympathizes with my assurance that her body, and her body alone, will do for my purposes.
JADE: um...no i dont!
YES.  Jade is now officially immune to absolute command! :D :D :D
she does. after all, she would not wish this sort of state of being on anyone else, and especially not on one of her friends. jade may have undergone a lopsided number of narrative hardships in her life, but at least she is used to them. why spread that suffering to another?
What the fucking shit???  You’re using that on her?  You think it’ll WORK?!
jade understands and accepts her place in the story, which has always been to enable events to play out around her, just as it has been mine.
..........yeah Jade’s gonna bust the fuck out on the very next page, isn’t she.
What the fuck is Alt!Callie thinking, here?  Wasn’t the other Calliope the one to let us know that the Witch is one of the most active classes there is??  ...what exactly does a Witch officially do anyway, for Alt!Callie to think saying such a thing wasn’t dead wrong?  This sounds MUCH more like the sort of statement someone might make after breezing through Homestuck and confusing the old Jade (cough) for the person she grew up into.
And the fact that you’re phrasing this as a narrative command to try and make her forcibly THINK this way deserves you a smack in the non-literal depictive face.  Let’s see if you get one:
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Oh wow, no smack yet?!  That’s some restraint!
because what is a story, truly? nothing but a series of misadventures and connections, actions spurring reactions, tumbling into one another, over and over and over. with so many competing interests, clearly the story cannot account for all perspectives, for all threads? it would be laughable, childish, even selfish, to demand that they do.
in other words, not everyone will achieve a happy ending. this is a truth that jade had come to grips with a long time ago.
JADE: wait. JADE: stop. JADE: why are you saying all of this?
Ohh.  Because she still had even MORE smackworthy stuff left to say, to make the smack even SMACKIER, didn’t she.  Alt!Callie you asshole.  If this gets you kicked out of her almost entirely and jeopardizes the crew as Jade struggles to combat Dirk’s narrative influence on her OWN, then I’m fucking blaming YOU!  Do you realize how horrible it’ll be if Dirk gets to almost singlehandedly write the whole story around her and the others for the first section of HS^2 with only one or two characters aware and trying to mentally avert it??  We already TRIED that in the Epilogues!  It was awful!
jade’s body is my vessel, and it is through this realization that she will understand her true role in the story. her true relevance.
Go fuck yourself, Alt!Callie.  Read the audience a bit!
if i released my hold on her consciousness, there would be no guarantee that i would be allowed in again. therefore i cannot permit her the control of herself that she so desperately craves, and she understands that.
THAT’S your reasoning your used-to-surpressing-Caliborn ignorant--!??
JADE: wait. so...you could give me my body back, and then just hop back in when you need to?
in theory, yes.
JADE: then what the hell callie!
because i don’t trust you to cooperate when the time comes.
MotherfuckerTheMusical.mp4
(or real existing equivalent that’s just off the top of my head)
JADE: why not? JADE: i thought you said i was a reasonable girl with a huge brain!
you are, to an extent.
she is. but the truth of the matter remains that humans are capricious and emotional. and even jade herself can admit that she hasn’t been the most...committed example of her species in the last few years.
Oh my fucking god.  I know they’re trying to make this more satisfying when she actually DOES take control in a few panels, but, Alt!Callie, seriously, get more on your other self’s level!!!
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Yes, please >:O some more
moving from lover to lover, job to job, interest to interest. over the last few years jade had found herself listless, unable to settle and unwilling to commit to anything or anyone. she knows there’s nothing wrong with that on a moral level, but on a personal level she’s always believed that she could be more, could do better. be better. and now, because of this, she realizes that sacrifices must be made.
and that she, as a space player, is uniquely built for sacrifice.
JADE: yeah JADE: i guess youre right JADE: i have been such a silly little slut! JADE: hey callie
yes, jade?
JADE: oh my god, whats that!!!!
You are so fucking screwed Alt!Callie.
this space is utterly under my control. jade could control it too, if she had any access to her own powers. but with my grip around her cortex, there is no chance of that.
(Wait, there’s an extent to which this space is “real” and not imaginary?  Or does holding her space powers in check also mean keeping her imaginary space powers in check?)
Anyway, here comes the smack.  And, though Alt!Callie deserves this, I hope Dirk isn’t let in too often amidst the others as a result.
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Yup, poising to pounce...
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I thought there was a weird infinity symbol underneath them but it’s just two spotlights and a shadow cast by her head.
and here i make my first mistake.
No you made your first mistakes WAAAY earlier in this conversation.  And what you did to Jade in general.  She’s a hero/player for a reason, she doesn’t take stuff lying down forever.
but bringing her into a place where we can both physically manifest has left me, foolishly, vulnerable.
First, physically manifest?  This isn’t pure imaginationspace?  And second, she’s going to blame her polite concession to Jade for this and hold on even tighter the next time, isn’t she.  God damnit, not looking forward to that.  Alt!Callie won’t learn her lesson til the end, will she?  :(
her fingers tear at my throat, trying to find purchase. she won’t be able to kill me here, but it is certainly unpleasant, and not to mention slightly repetitive. we just saw this in the previous chapter, although this particular fight will not end as amorously as the last one did. so don’t get your hopes up.
JADE: who! JADE: are you talking to!
I really hope Jade ends up with full narrative powerOOOOOHHHH FUCK THEY COULD GO FOR THAT HUH
Dirk was able to become an Ultimate Self in his own body because it was the uniting of an irrepressible “self” that he always unbreakably represented.  The others had more trouble.
But Jade
has a BIG PART-GOD BRAIN as reinforced in the narrative repeatedly!!
Meaning that later, SHE could Ultimate Self without ANY PHYSICAL CONSEQUENCE.  :D
I was hoping Jade would end up with full narrative-dictating-and-reading power when she wants to use it, at some point, but I might’ve been aiming too low! :D :D :D
Yaaaaaaaaaaaay
Now all the playfully-horny omnipotent Jade fanfics are true, what that totally isn’t part of why I love this go ahead and admit she doesn’t deserve it
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Yesss flashy gif struggle against control!  (Though, not as elegant as one of Andrew’s might’ve been. Gotta say.)
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Blinky-eyes about to resolve normal-Jade-colored....!
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Wait, what?  I thought Jade was about to snap in and--
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during the ship’s trip through space, there have been numerous experiments; modifications to the nutrition output of the various machines designed to create sustenance for the various species on board. i myself have been content with orange juice and synthetic proteins, but dave and roxy have both expressed longing for various ‘earth snacks’, and so the trials and errors began.
What the fuck?  I don’t even know where this is going if it’s punways.
Is there like a dog treat somewhere that’s gonna push her over the edge?  Where is this headed even.
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Wh...
WHa??????
the results were mixed. as roxy told us in a previous chapter, alchemized food all sort of tastes the same, although the visuals really help to bring about the flavor. and at the end of the day, isn’t it the journey that is more important than the destination? the stories you tell as you create the strangely flavored nutritional paste?
JADE: ????????????
Um??  What’s even going on.
so far, everyone’s favorite attempt has been a vaguely peanut-butter and chocolate flavored creation called "Rices'". nobody eats them really. they just sit in a bowl on the counter.
i’m not actually sure what the witch is trying to accomplish here.
Is Jade trying to humorously gross Alt!Callie out of her body with a candy she doesn’t like or?  But, “suicide threat”? Why joke--
JADE: you dont? JADE: really?
i don’t know what she is trying to accomplish, because surely she would not be doing what it appears she is trying to do. making such a meaningless threat.
JADE: meaningless? JADE: do you even know anything about the body you stole? JADE: shouldnt you have run some sort of psychic physical before you possessed it? JADE: its definitely what i would have done!
Oh SHIT.  You mean Jade has the same peanut allergy JOHN does?!?
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jade must know that i am well-aware of her family-wide peanut allergy. a story thread that has been extremely important and weighed in on in multiple parts of the narrative. how could i have forgotten such a key detail?
...yes, she totally forgot, but more than that.
I’m betting John is the ONLY one with a peanut allergy.  That Jade is USING that fact to bluff like hell.  :D
(Allergies aren’t usually inherited that way you alien!)
there is nothing remotely just or heroic about dying from self-imposed anaphylactic shock in the throes of a childish tantrum. at the most i’ll get a relaxing few minutes of sleep.
Is Alt!Callie bluffing now?  Even a resurrecting death could throw her off.
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FUCK YES JADE.
JADE: do you really want to risk it?
what are you talking about, jade? i just said--
FUCK YES JADE, BE A HUGE WITCH
(i say in the most witch-connotatively and non-classpect-related way)
JADE: i dont know, callie JADE: ive never really understood the rules that govern the death of a god tier, have you? JADE: it seems pretty arbitrary from where im standing JADE: who makes the decision whether or not something is heroic or just?
...that’s unclear. but it certainly isn’t you.
JADE: right, of course not JADE: but are you so confident that youre a good guy? JADE: are you sure that the alpha timeline WANTS you to be here?
...what.
JADE: youve done some stuff, callie JADE: im only saying you shouldnt be so quick to assume that me killing you wouldnt be just JADE: and that taking my own life to do it wouldnt be heroic
Even with JUST this one fucking situation Alt!Callie put her in, throwing off her control forever by dying would be shortsighted but HELLA JUST.  What Alt!Callie is doing to her is a crime.
Oh shit!?!?
> [S] ==>
What is this, HTML5?  *clicks play*
...for a second, I thought this was gonna launch into a huge thing with that clock ticking song from the Felt album.
Having Rose and Dirk’s colors competing here really reinforces that... Prospit vs Derse vibe that was feeding the whole this-is-the-basis-for-the-game’s-structure-and-the-birth-of-Paradox-Space theory more earlier.
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i don’t let the witch manipulate me. i refuse to falter in the face of her whispers. without my careful planning and swift action, the prince would have taken full control over this timeline. none of my friends could even begin to imagine the turmoil.
In the end, you’re ignoring what’s right and brave in this instance to instead do something EXPEDIENT, to the exclusion of trust and compassion when things COULD work out just as well without taking the worst actions -- which is textbook villainous.
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JADE: they arent your friends!! JADE: you took them from me!
Now isn’t THAT a way to put it. :D :D :D
Alt!Callie is sinning almost as badly as Dirk, here.  Viewing everyone else as characters in a story, the only way she’s ever viewed “friends”, and her as the not-so-humble narrator doing what’s best for all of them.  If she’s going to win against Dirk -- or if that victory is going to MEAN anything -- she will HAVE to realize that she needs to be different.
JADE: you keep saying that youre doing all of this for my own good, but youre just lonely! JADE: i know you are, because so am i!
Ouch.
Will Alt!Callie force her to swallow it?
JADE: you said that being a space player is all about sacrifice JADE: well
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JADE: bet
...I guess she really might have an allergy.
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Aaaand the candy drops.  A W A K E ! ! ! !
Yaaaaay Jade is BACK and we’ll get to see even more of her!!!
...please tell me on the next page she grabs the candy, noms it, and mentions she doesn’t have a peanut allergy after all.  That would be sweet.
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...
Nope, you just leave us on a sad.  Dammit, why do you gotta be all adult and showin’ us both sides in a moment of triumph, HS^2.  Shucks.
Anyway, YAY JADE!  C:
I am happy by this, if slightly too emotionally-rollercoastered by the past 24-hours to give this the full-rejoicing it deserves.  That, and worried about the openings Dirk will get because of this... joy now for potential frustration later, even if Jade tries her best to let Alt!Callie back in in-time.
See y’all next time!  And, uhm.  I guess I’ll comment on whatever other asks I promised to comment on another less-eventful day.  Keep reminding me and holding me to it though!
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jewpacabruhs · 4 years
Text
hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)
(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)
alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.
with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.
and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.
forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.
everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.
and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.
and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about. 
and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?
and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do. 
that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.
idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.
but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.
i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it. 
tl;dr
so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally. 
i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.
i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious  
thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020! 
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comradekatara · 5 years
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the comics need to stop adding new convoluted plotpoints that dont make sense, and instead write a self-contained story with an A-plot, a B-plot, and a C-plot that all connect somehow. a quest narrative of sorts where they’re all split up and each on their own separate missions that force them to solve their internal conflicts, while also furthering the narrative thematically both in terms of the tensions established in the subplots and in the narrative thread running throughout. this is like, basic separate-but-together quest narrative 101, but. yknow.
here are some hypothetical suggestions for these subplots:
first option
A-plot: aang and azula are forced to work together in the heart of the swamp. azula feels shame as she is all alone with aang and must actually confront him, so she retaliates by being cruel to aang and insulting his intelligence. aang is never not nice to her, insistent that she’d like him if she got to know him––but that’s what she’s afraid of. the stress of the swamp causes her to nearly break down completely again, but she forces herself to persevere through it, snarky remarks as her coping mechanism. aang repeatedly saves her life from the swamp, which she finds she can neither outwit nor bend her way out of. instead, she must embrace the entropy, and through aang’s wisdom, she begins to find a sense of inner peace. she starts to admit that she has a lot to learn from him, though that still hurts to think about. they don’t leave as friends, exactly, but they’re getting there.
B-plot: sokka, katara, and zuko are sent to the north pole for [x plot device], where they are all forced to confront their pasts. though they are on a diplomatic mission, it doesn’t take much for them to all get sidetracked. katara grows furious when she sees that absolutely no progress has been made in regard to women’s rights, and she yells a lot, at yue’s dumb patriarchal dad, at pakku, and at sokka and zuko for trying to help (she doesn’t need their man opinions trying to speak over her!!!!!! zuko’s just like, “i literally didnt say anything.........”) and eventually she rallies the women of the tribe and basically incites an entire feminist movement. upon seeing yue’s dad again, sokka is forced to confront memories he tries his hardest to bury deep. now that he finally has time to breathe, he lets himself acknowledge his guilt complex when it comes to protecting people. and zuko is given a second chance to amend his “that’s rough buddy” into actual, genuine emotional support. meanwhile, the north pole is stirring bad memories for zuko, but for other reasons. he must confront his guilt over all the dumb shit he did when he was 16; he must acknowledge how this was a turning point in his life, when he teetered on the edge of life and death just to fulfill his goal of capturing the avatar; when he watched zhao die. he never had the opportunity to confront that properly. he gets to now, and katara and sokka are there with him. sidenote: i think their dynamic makes for an excellent trio by virtue of them all being a third wheel. anyway they get the macguffin that symbolically represents their emotional journey. no i dont know what said macguffin is what am i a writer (jk its probably a mirror)
C-plot: toph, suki, mai, and ty lee complete their side of the quest without breaking a sweat. the four of them? together? please. they’re unstoppable. but they soon realize this, and decide that if they’re going to be given the opportunity to hang out just the four of them, they’re going to do it right. so occasionally, from aang & azula’s internal-tension-filled plot, and sokka katara & zuko’s swelling emotions plot, we just see toph, suki, mai, & ty lee fucking shit up and having a blast. we don’t see everything that they get up to, though a lot is alluded to, and it sounds cool as hell. they conclude their adventure with the realization that maybe they’re too powerful, and they should be more responsible with that power. but then toph’s like ............nah, and they all shrug and nod.
second option
A-plot: sokka, toph, and azula are on a boat. why are they on a boat? idk. reasons. anyway, toph does not like boats, and she very loudly affirms this at least once a page. though not so secretly she feels a lot safer than she otherwise would because sokka is there. azula also doesn’t like that they’re on a boat. she feels trapped. and she knows that even though they likely won’t, sokka and toph could take her down at any time, regardless of the fact that toph is unsteady, she’s on a ship made of metal, and azula’s not going anywhere. sokka doesn’t have a problem with boats. he grew up using boats all the time. he’s built boats. but he also really wishes katara were here, because without her, unfortunately, the tides do control this ship. a bunch of pirates try to take control, and practically obliterate the rest of their crew, and they all have to use their own unique brand of ingenuity to save the others. azula comes to respect them even more, and they her. sokka and toph already respect each other a hell of a lot, but i guess they exceed maximum respect levels cause that’s how cool the other thinks they are (and they’d be right!) and they forge a genuine friendship with azula for the ages, which sokka was previously highly skeptical of, but.... she’s nice now. somewhat. she’s mellowed out a bit, even if she’s still incredibly high-strung and weird. but who is he to judge? ‘cause hey, at the end of the day, they make a great team.
B-plot: aang is given an important Mission, and he’s ready to go in alone. after all, katara is busy, sokka is busy, toph is busy, zuko is busy. but suki offers her services, and she and ty lee flank him on his Journey. aang realizes that even though suki’s a part of their group, he doesn’t really know her at all. so he decides he’s going to learn. he asks about her past, her upbringing, her plans for the future. he asks the same about ty lee. we see flashbacks to all three of their childhoods, and what motivated them to become who they are today. aang was just a carefree kid, and he shied away from any type of responsibility; now, he’s carrying the entire world on his shoulders. even though she looked exactly the same as all her sisters, or maybe because of it, ty lee always felt like an outsider in her family. it’s clear that underneath their picture-perfect facade of upper-middle class stability that her father insisted they project, there was a deep strain on all of them, and the cracks seeped through. ty lee always felt like it was her job to mediate, and she soon learned to manipulate people into being satisfied with what they had, instead of what they wanted. but one day, she realized, it wasn’t her job to be that person in an environment where she already felt alien, so she ran off to join the circus. only when azula resurfaced in her life did she have to adopt her facade again, out of survival. and suki was raised by wolves. (ok i’m kidding––or am i––but tbh her backstory deserves a post of its own so..) anyway, aang ends up learning a lot about two people he never made any prior attempts to befriend, and learns about himself along the way. go team! 
C-plot: zuko is forced to act as a mediator between mai and katara, who both find the other teeth-grindingly offputting. zuko really just wants to focus on Doing The Thing because the fact that the Thing has not been Done is stressing him out. but mai and katara clearly have issues between them that are in need of solving, and zuko cares about them both very much, so it’s hard for him to see them snipe at each other all the time. especially because he keeps getting dragged further and further into their arguments, to the point where they’re basically just arguing over who has more of a claim to him. mai says they used to date, katara’s like, “yeah for 2 months and it sucked what’s your point,” and katara’s like “he jumped in front of lightning for me,” but mai’s just like “he would do that for a stray cat whats your point.” zuko’s just like “listen. i would die for both of you. but if you don’t shut up i’ll kill you myself.” ultimately, the Conflict is Resolved, and in the most climactic moment, katara saves mai’s life. mai is grateful, and has enough humility to acknowledge this. katara’s like, “of course. i’d do anything for my friends.” and they still don’t like each other but the animosity has quelled considerably. and then they realize that they may have absolutely nothing in common, but they can still bond over making fun of zuko. the whole way back they swap stories about him being a Fucking Nerd, and zuko’s just like, “i’ve made a huge mistake.” 
third option
A-plot: aang, zuko, azula, and ty lee are somehow tasked with a Plot-Relevant Burden, and shit gets real. these four people have so much baggage among each other that while they all insist to put their feelings away for the sake of the mission, tension bubbles to the surface anyway, and zuko and azula all but get in a row. aang and ty lee bond over having to be the mediators, while also acknowledging the harm azula caused both of them. they all get trapped in a Magical Cave of Logic Puzzles (fuck it its a comic idk) that they must solve before they can pass. aang and azula are both isolated, but their monologue is external because of course they both talk to themselves. aang considers it a fun game, azula is determined to crush this cave just like she obliterates all her enemies. zuko and ty lee meanwhile, are trapped together, but neither of them have any idea what’s going on in this wack cave. they eventually talk through all their feelings, and reconcile in a way zuko never in a million years expected to with ty lee of all people. then she reveals she had the answer to the puzzle all along and just wanted to facilitate an honest conversation. zuko would be mad, but honestly he’s just impressed. they all return into the light of day again, and the sunlight feels cleansing. 
B-plot: katara, toph, and suki soon realize that they make for a more awkward trio than they anticipated. at first katara had been very insistent that it was finally time for just the girls to go on an adventure together, but it becomes readily apparent that without sokka......they have nothing to talk about??? and they’re all like. fuck. is sokka really that important to the fabric of our friendgroup?? the answer is, of course he is, but it pisses them all off. they can be friends outside of sokka! as a matter of fact, fuck sokka! who needs him? not them, certainly. they’re the world’s most powerful waterbender, earthbender, and non-bending warrior respectively! what does sokka have? a sword? some maps??? so they may not have many things in common, but their sheer willpower & determination is shared among them in spades. they complete their Task with great competency, and they’re all like “FUCK YEAH.” sokka is very confused as to why all three of them tackle him in a hug next time they see him. 
C-plot: no grand quest. no adventure. mai simply finds a bat hanging in the corner of her room, and happens to notice sokka walking by. she summons him into her room, where she points at the bat with disgust. sokka’s like, “you’ve got to be kidding me. it’s just a bat. i’d think you’d love bats.” and mai’s like “then u are mistaken.” so sokka sighs and says he’ll take care of it, opens the window, closes the door, and tries to coax the bat into the night air gently. unfortunately, sokka’s execution is less than poor. the bat flies at his face, at which he lets out a very dignified shriek, and the bat starts flying around the room like crazy. for some reason, it refuses to just go through the window. mai and sokka, both fearing for the bat’s safety as well as their own, take the only logical option and hide in her closet until the bat leaves. after a while, they can no longer hear its indomitable screeching, so they open the door to the closet just a crack, only to see that it had actually tired itself out to the point of exhaustion and seemed to have fallen directly onto her bed. mai’s like “ewwww i sleep there sokka get rid of it!!!!!!!!!” and sokka’s like, “i can’t just throw it out the window!! it’ll die???” and mai’s like “this is why we need an animal control department.” which gives sokka a great idea. he tells mai to stay put and mai’s just like “you mean alone????? with the bat??????” sokka runs back moments later with a stricken zuko. “mai, are you all right???” he pants desperately, to which mai rolls her eyes and is like “yeah bitch im fine.” zuko turns to sokka and glowers. “you said there was an emergency in mai’s room! i thought she’d been–– oh what’s that???” they introduce zuko to the batshit bat, which sokka has named Squeaky, and zuko immediately knows what to do, and soon later it flies through the open window without a care. sokka’s just like “man, you really should’ve asked zuko for help instead of me.” and mai’s just like, “well... you were there. and youre.. competent.” and sokka looks around at the mess squeaky made of mai’s room and he’s like “u sure of that???” and it suddenly hits them just how uncouth this entire affair was, especially considering that zuko was the one who came out looking most competent (which they both deeply resent). they vow never to speak of it again.
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z7rkive · 5 years
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DHAU: What To Know
Hey! its what all of u have been waiting for: more dhau stuff :)
Also!! most of this is by the one powerful braincell @snaxarba and I share hhh,, we’ve both worked hard (lmao not rlly we just screamed at each other sksks) on creating the universe around dhau uwu she’s been a great help aaa please send her love through her inbox! She’s currently writing a fic for this au, so if u got any questions or want a snippet go over to her :))))
Now that that’s out of the way, get ready for a LONG post:
GENERAL INFO
DH = Deathly Hallows
5 members
Fandom name: Hallows
Ages: S.S (26), T.R. (24), D.M. (21), H.P. (21), C.D. (19)
Hyung Line (oldest members) : Prince (Severus Snape) & L.V. (Tom Riddle)
Maknae Line (youngest members) : Draco Malfoy, Seven (Harry Potter), & Zed (Cedric Diggory)
Visual Line (“Faces/Most Handsome” of the group) : L.V., Draco, & Zed
Rap Line (Rappers in the group) : Prince & Zed
Dance Line (“Best” Dancers) : L.V., Seven, Prince, & Draco
Vocal Line (“Vocals of the group) : L.V., Seven, & Draco
Choreo Line (Take part in creating choreography) : Prince & L.V.
OTHER RANDOM INFO:
They work under G.G. Entertainment (G.G.E.) with Dumbledore as the Big Boss
Drarry is the most popular ship among fans
Dispatch is a company that takes photos of idols and tries to expose dating scandals
Dispatch Boss: so r they dating anyone
the hallow stan twt is crazy as fuck lmao
theres so many memes
solo stans are fans who only like 1 member of the group (the person is their favorite) and don’t pay attention to the others/give hate to the rest of DH
antis are just hateful ppl in general, they send lots of hate to either Hallows, one specific member, DH, or just the whole group in general
one time Severus and Harry did a vlive (they haven’t done one in a long time so sevenprince fans were excited! :0)!! Harry’s like, “Sev and I have a great plan for this live! :D” and then someone in the comments just says, “Can we have a different member on vlive please :/ i dont wanna look at both yall ugly mugs lmao” :((
Harry, “Cedric? Ah no he’s not here. Draco? He’s not here either sorry :(. Oh ok, I’ll get Tom for you guys.”
big sad^ :(
ot5 = loving the whole group; EX: “No solo stans allowed!! only ot5 enthusiasts!!!”
it does not mean they all fuck skshs
but All7 means they all fuck harry lmao
there’s this super popular twitter account called “@Sevensfw” and it’s basically just an account that posts bottom harry moans ft other DH members
DH wasn’t that popular before, but a fancam of L.V. dancing blew up on social media, and that got them a lot of attention
there will be lots,,, and lots,, of social media in this fic
we get inspiration from u guys as fans so go off on ur reactions
INFO OF THE MEMBERS UNDER THE CUT :)
MEMBERS
Prince / Severus Snape
Oldest in the group
Prince Stans are called: Robins
Produces most of the songs
Unofficial leader; whenever Harry’s not there he’s automatically in charge and no one questions it
Bat Dad / Goth Daddy
Joined G.G. Entertainment to become a producer but then got stuck with DH
“Nation’s Prince 💞💞💞” - Robins uwu
GENIUS !!!
He’s usually very frowny and makes lots of mean remarks but he’s rlly a soft boy daddy
He, Harry, and Tom are the ones who speak most in interviews
People say he’s lazy because he stays indoors most of the time but!!! He works his ass off helping produce most of the tracks the band makes
AND helps choreograph their dances and help run their big ass dorm
Husband material 10/10
Deep voice mmmm
Big ass softie for their leader
Snape: *makes Harry dance & moan for no reason at all* “all in the name of music.”
He and Harry have been labeled the “Mom & Dad” of DH by Hallows
He and Harry usually discuss big decisions to see what’s best for the group
Only other person he’s comfortable with besides Harry is Tom since they’re closer in age, and work together with choreography
He and Tom are chill buds; the “mature ones of the group”
When he first got into DH, he actually thought Harry was a visual of the group ;)
Harry needs help? Whether it be to get away from Visual Line or just in general Goth Daddy got him 😌
one time he and harry went to another country and couldn’t speak the language, and the waiter thought they were a couple bc of the way they acted around each other so they got a couple discount sksksks
So,, so underrated,,, like please stan this whole ass man
Why wouldn’t you??? like,,, he know how to cook, he humble, he got the tongue technology, husband material, high ass IQ,,, tall, dark,,,, what more can u ask for tbh?
you could also ride his nose lmao but ig thats reserved for Harry
L.V. / Tom Riddle
Visual as FUCK
Has the biggest vocal range; king can go from Deep & Raspy to High & Angelic in 0.001 seconds
One word to describe his voice: soulful
used to be part of the rapline in their early debut days, but for some reason he hasn’t rapped recently?? kows r thirsty pls rap for us again tommy boy,,,
bc of that he’s not “part” of the rapline, so he’s just labeled as a sub-rapper, which means he’s like the backup-backup rapper.
Wanted to be leader and kinda resented Harry for a bit before he met him and now he too, is whipped for Harry
Does not care for personal space, literally just crowds around Harry whenever the fuck he wants
He’s labeled himself as Harry’s personal seat, and is always pulling Harry into his lap
Tom’s never been touchy with others but for some reason Harry is just,,, There. He likes that feeling that Harry gives him whenever he’s around; he’s fascinated about his own actions toward Harry so he’s always trying to explore their physical intimacy
HES GOOD AT EVERYTHING AND HE KNOWS IT; everyone’s just like, “wtf that’s not fair”
Yeah he’s good at everything but he watches anime sksksk 🗿🗿🗿
Lowkey-Highkey dislikes Cedric bc dumb bitch unplugged his computer while he was binge watching bnha & happy go lucky mf named Tom’s fandom KOWs (like cows 🐄), when it was supposed to be Knights of Walpurgis smh
His dance!! His dance sequences always look like fight scenes and it’s the B E S T
Very smooth & quick on his feet
Literally so many fancams of him body rolling
Takes no shit from antis,, they’re not relevant.. only DH & Harry are 😤
Adopts any brand with the initials L.V. And everyone just goes along with it
Tom stans (KOWs) clown pre-debut Tom bc he was gonna have his stage name as “Lord Voldemort” and no one will let him live it down skskks
Was scouted by another agency- that agency asked him to audition for their company but he thought it was a scam; he would’ve been in a diff group if he went
Originally auditioned to G.G. Ent. To become an actor, but changed his mind.
Since he’s also one of the choreographers he’s always trying to make it so he and Harry get lots of skin ship
Draco Malfoy
Harry’s/Ferret’s/Hallows’ sugar daddy no lie
KING OF FANSERVICE
Whatever the fans want? The fans get. Whatever Harry wants? He gets it too.
Draco appreciates his Hallows/Ferrets sm,, he’s always reminding them that they are the ones who keep DH going and that without Hallows they wouldn’t be where they are
He always tries to go on vlive (think: IG live, but better) every 2 weeks even with their busy schedules and just spends time talking with the fans :’)
During concerts he’s interacting the most with everyone, walking around the stage the most so the fans can see him from different views: he’s always trying to make eye contact with them
He’s rich enough he doesn’t have to be an Idol but he still wants to stay ,, he wouldn’t give up DH & Hallows for anything.
also helps with any financial problems the boys have!! they need a place to rent? he got their backs
Center of the group!! This means whenever they’re dancing you’d usually find him in the center/middle position. The center is the one who calls attention to them-self the most and has to make sure their formation looks good; they have to carry the group during a performance. If the center looks bad, then the rest of the group and performance is too.
STABLE AS FUCK VOICE. Do you know how hard it is to dance and sing? At the same time??? Draco makes it so effortless,, when he sings and dances his voice doesn’t shake or waver- It’s stable and whenever he’s doing a live performance his voice sounds like it’s from the actual track
HE LOVES DANCING. Dance dance dance. He joined DH because he really just wanted to dance, he didn’t think he’d be part of the vocal line lmao but ugh king got thru
He & Harry are both 21, and Draco’s always making it a point that he’s older than Harry (only by 2 months!); since they’re the same age, they relate and hang out with each other more. He and Harry usually go out and have “bro-dates”. He talks to Harry abt personal problems n vice versa.
He and Harry always support each other and have formed that bff bond and Draco’s always pulling Harry towards him on stage so Harry will get noticed more (since Harry’s one of the unpopular members, while he himself is veeerry popular)
Antis usually say that Draco doesn’t really have any talent and that he just bought his way into DH with his money and good looks, and that he doesn’t deserve his place as ‘center’ :(
The Confident Gay,,, always slapping that Harry booty.
Cheesy asf,, any chance he gets he always flirts w Harry
Seven / Harry Potter
Best leader 11/10
Always comforting members !! He sings to them to make them happy :)
Main vocal- king can hit that note 😩.
Voice is very calming/lullaby like. Relaxing uwu.
Mother hen lmao,, he’s always worried about his group and how they’re doing
Thighs
Duality king go from 0-10000000 real quick
What a caring bitch I love him
Gives special massages to his members when they feel stressed,, and in turn they help him when he needs to step down from all that leader work.
He’s not really one to do ‘cute things for the fans on purpose’ but when he does he gets really embarrassed,, flustered bb will hide his face behind his hands n cover himself. He’d hide his face in his clothes, on another member’s chest/shoulder, or look at the ground while he stirs in cute embarrassment
Knows the members have some type of fascination with him so he uses that as like a punishment/reward system- “First one to memorize all their lines And choreo gets to go with me to help pick out my clothes.”
Insult his group? Won’t hesitate to cut u with his long eyelashes + sharp tongue lmao
Reassuring Hallows that they’re fine even when they get hate because they have each other,, DH/Hallows is best ship
Blames himself when another member gets hate- he feels like he’s not taking care of his group and he’s trying his best to make them feel not excluded :(
Lil bun bun uwu 🐰Seven Nation !! Stay winning 🤩🤩🤩 Protecc this hard working baby 😩
On stage he’s a force to be reckoned with,, like ugh what a sexy boi hshsh,, but off stage!!! A literal cutie!!!!! Soft & pure
Second half of underrated duo
Built up muscle during debut, but throughout the years/eras he went a bit lax, and since he didn’t have as much muscles since before, he’s gotten a lot of hate :( The members love his squishy cheeks n thicc thighs but antis think he should have a sharper jaw line hhh
oblivious mf,,, he rlly went on a date with a female idol from another company without knowing it was a date hh this boy
actually got in DH because he lost a bet
Zed / Cedric Diggory
Sunshine boy!! ☀️ Literally a ray of happiness in the group,,, always smiling and keeping everyone happy
most popular boy
Chaotic mf,,, in this au he’s the equivalent of the shaggy meme 🗿
Joined DH bc of Harry :’)) He’s gotten offers of joining other agencies but decided to go with G.G. Ent and decline all those offers because he saw Harry sing n dance + had a taste of Harry’s sweet personality when he first met him!! 
Cedric joined when he just turned 15, so Harry and the other members have been raising him for like 4 years :(. He could be a manifestation of all their groups personalities.
Looks up to Harry so much?? He’s Harry’s biggest fan and will literally do anything for him,, Harry’s done so much for him when he was younger that he wants to try and repay his leader by also being there for him :(.
M U S C L E  M A N / STRONG boi
literally harry sat on his back while he did push-ups wtf,, like he doesn’t even get winded if harry runs and jumps in his arms
every hallow who’s been with them since debut (15) to present time (19 going on 20): WHY DID HE GROW UP SO FAST HE HAD CUTE CHEEKS HOW DOES HE HAVE A JAWLINE WTHHHHH
his fandom name: satans
ok like,, cedric used to be a rlly shy boy during the beginning years of debut days and like?? he’s been getting more comfortable and one day he just thought “fuck the agency i do what i want” and he’s so happy now
this is why he’s so chaotic,,, his fandom used to be named “Puffs” but after Cedric’s Big Awakening, the Puffs renamed themselves as “Satans”
“Oh you’re a Hallow, too? Cool! I’m a Robin! :D” “Nice! I’m part of the Satanic cult haha”
earlier i said he was a sunshine but uhhhh
When he’s on stage ohoho,,, damn what a M A N,, like??? spits fire and memes on a daily basis
h a t e s losing,,, “I’m never losing my virginity” “Why??” “BECAUSE I NEVER LOSE”
Harry meanwhile: but u could win me??? 
Cedric is just,, “...” “for the greater good” 
released a solo album called “Spared” (name idea was from L.V. bc Cedric ate his last dumpling; originally wasn’t gonna go with it but Harry liked it lmao)
Spared Title track - “Kill The Spare”
The seventh track on his solo album is called “Septem”, and its basically a song dedicated to Harry and how much he appreciates him as a person, how he’s so thankful to have him and his life,, blah all that mush
Septem = Hedric/Zedven shippers anthem
Cedric has a cool necklace that he always wears and he tells people, “Harry gave me the chain. It had a different pendant but I changed it for this one. It’s the Roman numerals for Seven.” :D
so,, much,, puns its stupid
a crackhead
his whole group is made up of crackheads but he’s the TRUE crackhead  ya feel
this boy is always active on social media im,,, like?? he’s just on vlive talking with the fans and then he’ll show the camera around to where Draco is helping Harry stretch before warm ups (surprise they’re in a compromising position) and Cedric just goes, “Haha! I love friendship :).” 
started his dancing career when he joined DH, so he’s the most behind with dance; many people criticize him bc he’s a “bad dancer” but everyone knows he’s a better dancer than any Hallow
but!! he has improved so much D: sunshine baby rlly went thru it
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bagelbite · 5 years
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so my thoughts on endgame
yes this does contain spoilers and yes, i will continue to tag any of my spoilers as “endgame”
did i hate the movie? no. it had many very good moments that i will list before i list the problems i had with it
i LOVED all of the humor like they did that so well. like when steve was fighting his younger self and young steve says “i can do this all day” and now steve goes “yeah i know” in this just tired voice. and americas ass. and all of the jokes about rocket being a raccoon. and hulk taking pictures with the kids and then when rocket and hulk were sitting in the back of the truck. when tony threatened to sell all of morgans toys. korg playing fortnite. the whole scott coming back the wrong age bit. hulk having to walk down the stairs. when tony told steve that if he dropped the shield one more time he was gonna keep it. like there were so many parts that were just so funny and i loved it.
i loved all the tender moments. that little moment of friendship between nat and steve where she calls the avengers her family. i was SOBBING when tonys daughter was revealed and at literally every interaction between them. the fact that tony wasnt even going to build the time machine until he saw peters picture and thw fact that he had peters picture at all. tony telling nebula “you won” and her freezing bc shes probably never heard that before. the fact that both nat and clint refused to let the other one die (which was the truest form of love i have ever seen, not romantic but just genuine platonic love. also not that bullshit thanos called love for the very same stone). the moment when clint was looking around for his family and couldnt find them so he was just running back and forth not knowing what to do. im not even going to mention tony and peter’s reunion or goodbye because i was sobbing like a child the entire time. quill thinking for a second that gamora was back. when pepper told tony “we’re going to be okay” and you think she means the world and humanity but she really means her and morgan. the entire interaction between tony and his dad. there were so so many parts that just hit me so hard.
i loved all the heroic parts. carol showing up outside the ship with tony and nebula. steve standing up with his shredded sheild, still fighting on. the fact that steve can fUCKING WEILD THORS HAMMER LIKE BRUH. also that sick combo he did with the sheild and the hammer. the hail hydra moment because steve is so incredibly smart and knows how to work a situation. all of those bad ass women gathering to fucking destroy thanos. the circle opening up and revealing tchalla and shuri and okoye walking out, silhoutted by the light and the wakandan battle cry. the fact that the canons recognized that carol was the largest threat around and firing at the atmosphere to try and stop her and she just fucking rips through them like nothing. carol beating the shit out of thanos and him having to literally hold the power stone in his hand to beat her. that moment where you see all of the heros lined up ready to fight. “i am iron man”.
obviously there are more of every moment, and i loved all of them.
but.
that doesnt mean that i liked the movie. and heres why:
1) thor’s literal character assassination. i reblogged a few posts (that you can find in my endgame tag) that explain this better than i will be able to but bruh. the russo brothers did thor so fucking dirty and it makes me pissed. they made him fat purely for the laughs (which someone pointed out an emphasis on the fact that they literally edited his weight out of the trailers because they wanted to use it as a gag in the movies). also, they blatently ignored and made fun of the fact that thor OBVIOUSLY was grieving and blamed himself for how things had turned out. he has lost literally everything in his life: his home, his father and mother, his brother, his best friend - and now the man who wiped out half of the human population taunted him with his mistake of not going for the head. also, thor literally just went through the whole process of realizing his true power and sacrifing his home in order to protect his people and youre going to tell me that he just decides “mmm imma go to space and leave you all here youre fine without me” like no. also please read this post it makes me so mad its so true.
2) the whole time travel plot. to me it didnt seem well thought out and it leaves so many plot holes. like if removing a stone can create another timeline, i dont think putting the stone back fixes anything. you have still technically created another time line. and like what happened to loki we saw him disappear wouldnt that be another time line??? and like if 2012 or 2014 or whatever thanos came to the present, then wouldnt that create another time line?????? and if steve stayed behind, then thats a whole other time line. like it just doesnt make sense there are so many things that do. not. work. (sidenote: thanos said the infinity stones were reduced to atoms. wouldnt that be reversable by scott and shrinking down into the quantum realm??? this is just an idea)
3) it was predictable. there were SO many times that i was able to tell what was going to happen before it did. like clints family vanishing. and scott finding an older cassie. and scott being turned into a bunch of different ages. and tony saying no and then saying yes. even tony weilding the gauntlet was predictable (i just refused to think about it bc i didnt want to see tony die).
4) steve staying in the past. now im going to preface this saying that im not trying to say that steve didnt deserve it. he did and im happy for him (since this is what the russo brothers have decided to make permanent). steve did deserve happiness and i will even say that he deserved peggy. but. that doesnt mean thats what he should have done. it was out of character for steve (not as bad as thor but still out of character). he would have recognized that the world needed him in the now and he wouldnt have been able to just stay in the past. like steve’s biggest character flaw is that he cant just sit by and do nothing, he always has to act. so now out of no where he just decides that hes gonna screw over everyone in the present and stay behind. like he knows they just lost tony AND nat, two of the og avengers, and hes just gonna decide to leave them hanging without another person???? and hes just going to sit by knowing that bucky is out there being tortured??? ALSO i am absolutely not saying that any part of his talk with sam was unnecessary. i even love the fact that he gave the sheild to sam (black captain america is my shIT HELL YES I AM HERE FOR IT). but. there is no way that steve “even when there was nothing i had bucky” rogers wouldnt say anything to bucky. and i saw someone saying “well they obviously talked off screen” bitch i dont care there are probably thousands of off screen things that happen and thats why we have fanfiction. but the on screen stuff matters and steve just ignores bucky entirely?????? no he fucking doesnt the russo brothers are just afraid to encourage any more interaction between steve and bucky because they fear stucky fans. and im not even saying this as a stucky fan im literally saying it as a marvel fan who knows the smallest amount of steve’s character.
5) tony creating his worst nightmare. tony has said multiple times that he blamed his dad for leaving him and it only makes sense that he would fear having a kid and then leaving them alone. and the russo brothers did just that. they gave tony the life he always wanted and then ripped him from it, creating tonys nightmare at the same time. he has now subjected morgan to live a life like he did, without a father. now personally i dont think tony should have died. did i predict that he was since infinity war (bc of rdj’s contract ending and also it will be very difficult to continue the “next generation” with these huge figures still around), yes. and i know that its unrealistic for everyone to survive in war but so is fucking time travel and they pulled that card. idk i just dont like how they did it.
so overall, i think i loved a lot of the overall moments on film, its just that i didnt like the themes, messages, and character delieveries shown in the movie. im just gonna go watch winter soldier and ragnarok and homecoming and captain marvel and black panther and all the other Actually Good marvel movies.
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arofili · 5 years
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all of the silm asks.
river we can’t keep doing this,
1. Have you ever called out a friend or a relative in front of a bunch of people? What happened?lmao no??? what kind of question is this??
2. What are your three most valued possessions?uhh idk, ever since i got robbed last year i feel like i realized that the things i valued most aren’t...tangible? like everything is replaceable, basically. i mean i like having stuff, dont get me wrong, and getting robbed sucked, but. i guess my phone and my laptop and my notebook? i use those things to connect with people and my notebook is full of stuff i haven’t backed up anywhere else yet. but once i get it in The Cloud, all i really need is my google account tbh
3. Do you have any enemies?uhhh not to my knowledge hjhfjhfd
4. Fëanor, Fingolfin or Finarfin - who are you most like in real life?lmao finarfin probably. i try not to be a Big Idiot and i follow rules and i’m not the most adventurous. tho i probably have some nolofinwean traits too, if i say i’m gonna do something i will stick to my word
5. Best canon ship in the Silm?do turin and beleg count? no? okay, in that case probably aegnor and andreth. (i’m a slut for doomed interspecies relationships, dont judge)
6. Best m/f ship?uhh, this one was harder than i thought it would be! since i already said aegnor/andreth... i know i really like the canon peredhel ships so elwing/earendil and elrond/celebrian are very good! and i think caranthir/haleth is really interesting too, but i don’t see them as romantic
7. Best f/f ship?hmnnn... i mean ALL the f/f ships are so good! i guess- nienor/finduilas is some Good Shit right there, and i’ve always liked anaire/earwen!
8. Best m/m ship?answered here!
9. Best canon friendship?uhh, all of them?? ok but: luthien and huan,, my HEART! (also aredhel and celegorm and curufin!!)
10. What made you read the Silmarillion in the first place?the fandom, tbh! when i got into the tolkien fandom thru the hobbit movies i devoured all the content i could but i never thought i would be a silm person, but then all the posts seemed so interesting and i was starting to enjoy the silm by proxy and fanon so i decided to read the silm and never looked back :’)
11. Ainulindalë and Valaquenta - yay or nay?i mean they are definitely the least interesting parts of the silm, so nay? i’m not really sure what this is asking? i don’t think they’re pointless or anything, but i cam here for the ELVES
12. If you had to describe yourself with a character from Tolkien’s works, who would it be?answered here!
13. Where in Middle-Earth would you most like to live?answered here!
14. Who is your dream partner from Tolkien’s works?they are all such DISASTERS...i’d be lying if i said it wasn’t gimli and/or fili though, lol (in an aro way, ofc)
15. Which two characters would you want as friends to defeat Voldemort with?luthien and ... finrod! both very powerful and good people!
16. Your opinion of Eru Ilúvatar?i don’t think he can be judged by human standards, because he’s so inhuman. like, elves are kind of Super Special Magic Humans but Eru and the Valar are so far removed from that... I don’t think Eru is evil or anything like that. i think the valar can’t really understand the Children and their conflicts come from that - idk about Eru, though, we don’t see a lot of him. he seems very powerful and absent, i guess? he only really intervenes when the situation is Truly Dire and then he shows more of a force of unimaginable power than like, divine mercy or anything
17. Favourite AU setting?i really like the two-steps-to-the-left-of-canon AU settings where everything is juuuusst slightly more magical than it is in canon and things like wraiths and revivification are more commonplace. that may be cheating though so i got to say that i’m always here for scifi/space AUs! (normally i’d go right to modern AU but i feel like because of lifespans, modern AUs fall apart with the silm unless you’re going very small-scale with them)
18. Favourite crack pairing/concept/headcanon?“crack” is weird in the silm because of the dubious canonosity of Literally Everything... my fav ~crack~ pairing is probably turgon/finrod but that has evolved from “crack” to “rarepair hell” for me lmao. i also really love @princess-faelivrin‘s fin-galad headcanon! and i am currently daydreaming about some way that nienor is connected to goldberry - oh and tar-miriel as the witch-king is always a good one. really, anything that keeps the ladies alive for longer!
19. First, Second or Third Age?i mean they all have their good parts, but like... first age, probably. third age has gigolas and all the characters from the hobbit, which is tempting, but there’s just so MUCH to work with in the first age! second age is neat too but i’m not really a numenor person so...
20. Funniest moment in the Silm?tie between turin throwing the cup at saeros and “GET THEE GONE FROM MY GATE, THOU JAIL-CROW OF MANDOS”
(if turin and feanor ever met, arda would collapse)
21. Saddest moment?i mean, turin killing beleg always fucking gets me, but also maedhros’s suicide and also the nirnaeth arnoediad and also just the whole fucking book!!!
22. Do you read/understand/speak any of the languages or alphabets?lmao no!! with resources i can put together names for folks and i can recognize certain elements of words, but that’s about it.
23. Who is Gil-galad’s father?i’m throwing my hat in the ring for Orodreth, but that’s only when i don’t want to make it like, a Thing. i really love explorations of this uncertainty (@elvntari‘s gil-galad fic springs to mind, as does @thishazeleyeddemon‘s lalwen theory, maybe with cirdan as the dad, and fin-galad is again a blessed concept) and i’m also very fond of the idea that his parentage is “no one in particular” and that he just stepped forward to claim the throne when no one else wanted it. really i’m open to every interpretation! except fingon. i don’t think it’s fingon. i mean, it could very well be that fingon is his dad as in he’s the one who raised him and claimed him, but if we’re going biologically i don’t think fingon contributed any genetic material to gil-galad
24. Angbang, Russingon or Silvergifting?i mean this is a no-brainer. of course it’s russingon! i do enjoy angbang and silvergifting, but like cmon.one of these days i’d love to write a really long angbang fic detailing everything btwn them, probably mostly from mairon’s pov, from ainulindale to the fourth age but that would be an undertaking. i do have a lot of tiny ideas for them that would be fun to weave together. as for silvergifting, just...poor tyelpe. poor dude. but i am suuuuch a slut for russingon lmao.
25. What would you most like to see in a tv series or film based on the Silmarillion?i would LOVE to see a book-accurate version but like. that’s VERY unlikely. a COH adaptation would be neat but probably too dark to make it to audiences without being seriously watered down. Beren and Luthien might be able to do it, if they could condense the supporting lore around the story. that’s really the problem with the silm - it’s like a greek myth in it’s epic sprawl. there’s so much story that you can’t really take just one aspect of it to the screen without taking all of it. if you don’t know about the silmarils you can’t do B&L, if you don’t know about the nirnaeth and the histories of nargothrond and doriath you can’t do COH, if you don’t know about the sundering and the exiles you can’t do literally anything tbh.BUT i would love a COH adaptation, if it’s done right. or a very ~experimental~ take on B&L. i have a lot of ideas of how to incorporate all the different versions of that story into one cohesive canon... ok i admit it i just want to see telvido on screen!!! and also werewolves are neat!!
also i’ve said it before but a 3-act play set in numenor....HMM that would be some good hsit. really, i think the mariner’s wife would make an excellent drama, but again there’s so much CONTEXT around numenor!the 3 acts would be 1. elros’s transformation into tar-minyatur (there’s so many possibilities to explore! it’s basically uncharted waters once you get to the details!) 2. the mariner’s wife (a pretty faithful adaptation, also tar-meneldur’s monologue when he passes the scepter on to aldarion is just. WRITTEN to be performed on stage imo) and 3. akallabeth (again, lots of ways this could go. i also think it would be really neat to double cast elros and pharazon. and sauron should be double cast too, though idk who as.)
anyway, wow this got long, oops. i have a LOT of silm opinions!!
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ibraddersday-blog · 5 years
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20 years so far.
Hi, my name is Bradley Day. Never received a middle name, guess my parents were too lazy. It is currently 12:53pm as I write this on Friday 16th August of 2019, and to be honest I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm about to explain what I have experienced over the past 20 years frankly because, I know 2 people my age who are like me, the rest are so uptight about who they think they are on their online personas and social media reputations. so I want to find more like me.
in this post im giving you real, the embarrassing, humiliating, funny but stupid truth about my life. seems like thats the only thing that you can't really find anymore... honesty. 
I was born in basildon hospital in Essex on the 10th of November 1998, my mother is Heidi Day, my father being James Day (actual name is Jimmy but we stick to James) I have a older sister called Rebecca Day. apparently I was born with a skin condition were I didn't get enough vitamins which means I was born yellow, a little English asian baby as you will. had to be sat next to a window to get natural vitamins from the sun. but that was all cleared up as a baby and I dont remember it so not important. 
as far as I remember we were a happy family, I was a little shit for my parents but hey I didn't ask to be born. I've never said this but im very thankful for my parents, as a family we went through a few hardships and money never came easy, and no matter what my mum and dad always went out to work and make an honest living to keep a roof over my head and food on the table, people say thats a luxury and may berate us saying thats not hard, but the hard truth is, if you had to worry about where your next meal came from as a kid, your parents didn't work hard enough, and ill be dammed if I let my kids starve a day just because I go lazy for a day.
but out of this happy hardworking family it all changed when I was 4-5, my mum and dad divorced, my dad left and it was me, mum and becky in one house, my dad always tried his best to make it work for him and us. we got by it was just a couple who fell out of love, it's always bummed me out but thats life, move on. 
Thats when I met Lindsey who is now a second mother to me, I made her life hell for a lot of years and so did my sister, Linds if you ever read this im sorry, im sorry for never being the kid you wanted because you couldn't have children and wanted to take on me and becky so you could feel loved as a mother, im sorry I tested your patience every chance I got, im sorry you felt you had to buy me a brand to xbox when the disk tray on mine broke (but thank you cose it was an awesome thing to do) but for most of all, im sorry for never having the guts to admit to you in person how much you really mean to me or impacted my life, you gave me chance after chance at your work and im sorry for letting you down. now for what im thankful for. thank you for kicking me up the ass to do my homework, thank you for putting plasters all over me when I've hurt myself doing something else stupid, thank you for coming with me to the hospital when I got run over just down the road and following matt down countless alleys, thank you for letting my friends come over whenever they wanted as a place to hang out and chill and chat, thank you for not telling mum that there was a grinder in my room when I went back to living at mums, but for most of all, thank you being full of advice, thank you for the honesty you poses wether it hurt or not you were always honest with me, I hope one day I can repay you for all the things you have done for me over the 15\16 years of knowing you, I love you very much. 
school... ugh, primary okay, secondary Jesus Christ what a shit show, now im not stupid but im not smart, education is not my path Im a natural worker and always have been, don’t do suits and smiles I do hi viz clothing and “oh fuck you slag’ spent the better part of it arguing with teachers and trying to be someone im not just to fit in. I had my fair share of bullying but you take it like a man and thats it but back then I thought my world had been crushed, ridiculous I know, kids if you’re being bullied now it may not seem it but it really dont fucking matter, its school thats how it is if you dont like learn from home. now I got pretty bad at one point and made a video and put it online, about how im being bullied and how pissed and upset it Made me and so on, well the school found out and I was forced to remove it, should of just told them too fuck off but it was just hassle that I couldn't be arsed with. year 11 soon flies around and boom left with nothing... great, now college level 1 sport how fucking normal right. well sussed level 1 dropped level 2. 
now work. for the next 2 years I dosed about and went through 8 jobs... yes thats right fucking eight until one came by and that is TGIS at lakeside retail park, now it was a shit job but it taught me a lot, it taught me team work, pace, the importance of showing up for shifts, how vital I am as a cog in that machine,   it taught me how punctuality means everything, I mean I got employee of the month in my first month working there for god sake I pushed hard and getting a reward like that it really hit home, as I never really got anything like that before, I got home and cried in bed as I was so happy for that for once in my life someones recognised me for me and how hard I work, it still gets to me writing this, it means a lot to someone like me. I've since left there for a better job and found one at a container shipping company driving cranes, and I gotta say I think this Is the place I’ll make a career out of, its great pay, get great hours and there are some great guys there who I've grown to become friends with. after countless let downs in my life I’m happy to say I've found somewhere I belong and love. the people I wanna say thank you for are Lex A and Jack R, I love you boys you really pulled me through at TGIS, even though we argued a lot I still value you two a lot. 
now for my life outside of work. I have a few friends being Michael, jack, James and josh. these are the people who are like me, hard working and are making a name for themselves with the help of no-one else. we have all faced great hardships in life and really push to get what we want. but with my friends that want is wanting to get a shitty old RWD and drift it into walls for a laugh, it is pretty funny to be honest. honestly I can say these boys are like family to me they mean more to me than they know and id be there for them in a second if they need me. jack is my longest friend though, we've been friends for 15 years, we met in year 1 in primary school and never stopped since, I would go Into details but its now 1:30am and im tired. 
relationships... I can't do them. dont get me wrong I love the idea of them and would love to be in one but I simply can't do it, I can't deal with other peoples shit as well as my own as I've always dealt with mine on my own not needing someone else, and girls are weird about that shit, all emotional and shit, grow up and move on life is tough if you dont like it theres many ways out, I dont do sorrow or sympathy. but marriage scares me, it freaks me out im not even kidding, the idea of being forced by law to be in a relationship with someone and if the love dies they can take all your shit fucking scares me! who wouldn't be frightened by that! maybe one day ill get over it and take a leap of faith with someone I love but why knows ay. 
and for now right this very second. im happy with who I am, I have nice car, a good job, im single but happily, its easier and less stressful, the key to happiness is a stress free life after all. yeah I may be bit tubby and not in great shape, but im happy with myself and who I see in the mirror, because I know im going to be okay, ill work through my problems that happen in my life, and in the end ill know ill always be okay. 
to whoever is reading this. just know life is easy, the key to happiness is being okay with who you are. yeah theres always improvements that could be made, but if you got a roof over your head, working water and food on the table, you’re doing pretty good in life. just picture life as an English country lane, for the most part its gonna be rocky and bumpy with loads of big potholes but theres always the parts where the road is smooth and freshly done, just gotta keep hanging on to those moments before your turning is up on to the straight and narrow bud, keep pushing and working hard boys and girls, like I was always told “stop being a pussy and get what you want” 
probably be my only ever post here so yeah, maybe someone will read it, who knows!
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lunariaans · 6 years
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Reasons why I love the forbidden ship: (1)both characters are two faves of mine (2)matching color schemes (love that blue n gold combo) (3) the good girl falls in love with bad guy trope (4)that height difference gets me WEAK (5)both have a Tragic Backstory™ with Silk n her abandonment issue n Python with his broken,unhappy childhood which leads to him drinking/afraid of emotional connection (6)this ship is just oozing with so much angst n thats my kind of shit ahssjdhrkdnfk
HELLO???????????????/ THESE ARE LITERALLY EVERY REASON WHY I LIKE IT LSKJDKJDFKJDKFJ 
sO. MINI RANT/ME BEING A DUMBASS BELOW THE CUT
every time i think surface level about forbidden ship my monkey brain automatically goes to the blue color scheme LMAO. when im coloring…. there’s so much blue sometimes jsdflkdj im pretty sure one day ill hate the color (HER HAIR FIRST. CLOSET TO GREEN IN THE SPECTRUM. THEN HIS UGLY ASS HAIR, TOP PART THE SAME HUE/RANGE AS HERS BUT JUST MOVED FROM CLOSER TO GREEN TO CLOSER TO TRUE BLUE I THINK ABOUT THIS IN MY SLEEP). the height difference is also good. if u go off that one post of all the characters lined up then he is like six feet tall and she like five feet two inches so the top of her head probably just barely reaches or hits his chin. amazing.
i also really like that….pure innocent/vulgar probably shouldn’t hang around him trope….just my honest onion but….i think its a good trope sdlfkj. just The fact that she seems so nice and formal and he seems like he says the word fuck regularly is just. so appealing. the girl thats like. the fe equivalent of a nun? hanging out with a shithead like that??? love that concept just so much. BUT ALSO THEIR BOTH CANON GOSSIPS SO THEY LIKE. HAVE THAT IN COMMON. IMAGINE THE SUPPORTS THEY COULDVE HAD.
and the possible abandonment issues/python’s own shit….they both have problems that stem from childhood so like. that’s something they COULD have in common but dumbass python would probably be. really tough to get to open up about that kind of stuff (UNLESS HE’’S DRUNK BUT. ITS LIKE THATS THE PROBLEM…tbh im actually surprised he doesnt become an alcoholic in his forsyth dies ending like gray did jdkljsjklfsdjkldsfjkl) silque would probably open up to him easily because he just seems like someone that u could tell whatever too and he wouldnt…really care but like in a good way? he’d just have. a hard time revealing any of that baggage to her tho i think, its just not as easy for him which its like. maybe she doesnt want a serious relationship because of her abandoment issues but why woudlnt python?? is he scared he’ll scare someone off or??? become like his father with the drinking??? there’s so many things that couldve happened in his childhood that would deter him from thinking true love is a real thing (HIS LUKAS SUPPORTS!!! WHAT TF WHY DOESNT HE BELIEVE IN LOVE???? WHY DOES HE THINK ITS NOT FOR HIM!?!??! like obviously we dont need clive levels of infatuation from him but…NOTHING? he obviously has SOME interest in girls from those same supports bUT. I DIGRESS.)
silque SEEMS like she’d be super understanding and what not but i think she’d also be just a little frustrated if it takes a real long time to actually KNOW anything about him, especially if she’s laying herself bare like that to him. she acts real mature in game and had to grow up real fast because of everything but she’s literally only 19 years old so i think that. she still has some childish things to her, and probably even wishes that she could actually HAVE a childhood, and i think that “childish” (and im using quotes because its literally not childish to want friends but) side comes out in the faye support because of her persistance to be her friend, the want to gossip, etc. but its especially frustrating for her if like she ever actually developed feelings for him because i HIGHLY DOUBT she ever had an opportunity to have any little crushes while at the priory (THE ONLY GUYS WE SEE THERE ARE OLD ONES LIKE NOMAH AND KIDS LIKE BOEY WHO IS LIKE. 16. she’d mother him before anything elseLMAO).
AS FOR THE ANSGT THO….THERE IS THE POTENTIAL THERE….to me, python seems flighty, like he would rather not be tied down to any one thing or person so. long term relationships are out the window for him. and silque, i think her devotion to mila would come first before anything and anyone else (MARRIED TO G O D) tho i guess. after the war, with both the gods sealed away that maybe she would consider it? but considering her canon ending, its like. everyone else comes before herself. she’s extremely selfless in that aspect. python is the opposite, very selfish in his motives (self preservation, doing the bare minimum, etc). both of their canon endings seem like something they have to do for themselves tho so its like. if they did end up together, who leaves what they were doing? 
and because of silque growing up in a religious setting (which when im thinking of the lore for that i associate things with catholicism) it’d probably be kinda. awkward for her to do anything intimate because that’s just so far out of her element, and depending on WHAT exactly is in mila’s teachings, could even be against things she was taught (WHICH. THERE IS SOME SORT OF NEED FOR MODESTY IN CLERICS as they have the headdresses and the ones in mila’s temple have like. a full on wimple almost. im just gonna headcanon that genny is too young and is more like those nuns/clerics in training who havent taken vows yet so they dont have the full on nun gear yet. none of this applies to priestesses becuase they’re an entire different class tree tho and this is all headcanons anyways so it doesnt actually matter ajsdjjsdfkjsdjfjk LOL) and python. in the words of a japanese fic i read once “PYTHON IS NOT A VIRGIN” so its like. he is experienced in these things, has obvious interest in girls, he is lookin to B O N E and she aint jlkfsdsdkfkljdsfSDKJFKJDS
ANYWAYS THO they wouldn’t. work out in the end and that makes me sad. feelings would get hurt, but……a part of me does like to think of how it would be if they DID work out….. they’d keep it lowkey because forsyth would get too hyped and people like clair would be all up in their business about it….if they ever got married, theyd probably do it in secret and only tell people AFTER…..which they would only have to tell forsyth and everyone else would figure it out immediately…. THO EVEN IF HE SOMEHOW KEPT IT SECRET CLAIR WOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE IT OUT JUST BY LOOKING AT THEM……but they wouldnt have kids i for real cant imagine that one LMFAOOO
ANYWAYS FOR REAL THIS TIME THANK U FOR SHARING UR THOUGHTS AND UR LOVE ON THE SHIP AND THANKS FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO RANT ABOUT THEM EVEN THO NO ONE ASKED AND IF U ACTUALLY READ THRU THIS THEN ILY!!!
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floralkittygambler · 3 years
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Return of The Thing
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Sort of. By thing, I mean me. But I love this movie and the meme. Ok, context for this post: - Where I’ve been - Why I left - Whats hip happening -  Where I’ve Been:
Long story short, I’ve had real life matters to deal with. Firstly, my entire household contracted COVID. Well, *almost*. We’ve been through constant testing, quarantine zones, and had the ambulance up numerous times. My parents and 2nd oldest sister were hit the hardest. My 3rd oldest sister was positive and asymptomatic. Now something none of us could predict that I would be completely COVID free despite my compromises. Despite that I was in close contact with them all, including the 2nd oldest who contracted it first and accidentally being coughed on a few times lol. I went through the exact same testing and yet nothing. No symptoms. No presence of COVID. And I took no precaution to isolate from my family as I presumed in our small house we’d all get it, so I was more preoccupied with caring for the sick. Ultimately, I’ve either gotten off scott free this time or there’s a chance I may actually either be highly resistant or even immune. Even then, I WILL be having the vaccine as and when my family are eligible. And we all still follow regulations set.  I’ve also had other real life obligations, much of it either mundane fixing up my living circumstances to more personal matters. Overall, I have been extremely preoccupied.
A mini update, the stray cat Big has been in our porch a lot more in recent times due to the snow as well as being even more affectionate. And Queefster passed away after a good life and a full tummy. Why I Left:
Aside from COVID, business, and my own health declining, I’ll be blunt. I left because of how disgustingly toxic most fandoms are nowadays, but Hazbin is one of the WORST for it. That includes harassment, death threats, mocking MI and triggering an ED. In fact, I’ve even seen others get rape and death threats. So yes, even if YOU are a decent fan, collectively most of you arent doing any favours. Even some critical blogs seem to be overtly catty in ways no one else seems to pick up on under this ‘look how blunt I am’ look and it’s just... You dont have to be a prick to have your say, to be honest and to disagree with the trending. That’s a few on and off of tumblr, and no one I follow anyways. 
In regards to my ‘sensitivities’ - two things: 1) Of course trauma is going to hurt, 2) Im fully aware of kids doing and receiving much of this, which hurts MORE. I have my own lil squids and Im worried of them eventually having to deal with this shit. And no, no one SHOULD have to put up with such rude and poor behaviour. Agree to disagree doesnt live in some people’s realities, but by God harassment and bullying seems ok if YOURE doing it or enticing it. That ISNT ok. Even if it seems like nothing to you it could kill another. I certainly will not take your shit. 
On huskerdust I STAND by my words. It’s fucking creepy and there is sexual harassment and obsession. And there are large triggers. I will not go into detail here because Ive done that dance before and I’ll be refining it again. YOU may like it, however it triggers my very real traumas as well as those in my bloodline. Be respectful and keep that shit away from me. And for goodness sake, parents PLEASE dont raise your children to behave as such online. And no, being anon isnt actually fully anonymous. Also to send hate and threats anon is not only traceable but also cowardice. Grow a pair and find a hobby. I avoid my traumas for the most part. I will not allow you to weaponise or diminish my own or others experiences for your fictional based gratification. Likewise, if it becomes canon, I’ll just make an AU where it is not. Simple. You can hate it but Im not your personal circus so go be toxic elsewhere. IF you like HD and follow me, honestly... Youre probably better to unfollow as I am deeply and passionately against it and stolitz, and valvox, and am very vocal on that. Dont mistake my traumas and discomfort as a personal attack - and dont personally attack me over it either. And before anyone claims homophobia, no. This is nothing to do with sexuality. You arent the victim. If you love these pairings with your soul to the point of a ‘stan’, then youre best off unfollowing because I really am too old for extremists and rabid fans more crazed than the infected in REC. Also I never used to hate angel but now... Fans behaviour is abhorrent and hes so over saturated that I honestly really dislike him now. Doesnt mean you have to hate him too, but just bloody respect that angel isnt loved by all, he can be triggering to some as well as toxically enabling [incl. past addicts], a vile homophobic gay stereotype and just overall a lack of knowledge and respect of sex workers as a whole. When you know a lot of the ins and outs and victims, it’s hard to overlook. I respect your triggering ships by avoiding that mess. Respect others.  The problem with Viv - and I will elaborate in the future - is that your audience is often a reflection of your work and it’s message/presentation. And most of the fandom Ive met are awful. Honestly, though lonesome I find more comfort keeping distant from fandoms because yall often extremely toxic and petty. Perhaps others have had better experiences than I however Im drawing a line in the sand. For MY sake. I’m annoyed with virtually anyone I sense great potential in that becomes wasted. Im angry at Viv because she can do so much better but is blocking HERSELF. This is from a creative and business mindset. When someone has potential that gets wasted - especially creatively - it burns me. Im just passionate on artistic fields. It doesnt mean I hate them. I hate the waste of full potential.
I’ll state things here people disagree with but encouraging harassment, hate or just being an overall cunt just aint on- It’s like people charade as being this fair being but its all bullshit. Self improve and sod off, I do NOT have time to parent you online. 
And obviously there are RL duties I must fulfil. Some in which I will need the publics assistance for if you can spare it. Overall, Im just... Fandoms behaviour generally disgusts me. Disappoints me. We SHOULD be better than this. It’s like listening to bloomin incels rant on fuckin chad or some bullshit pill theory instead of looking to improve themselves too. Honestly... I do mostly acknowledge my own flaws and faults and try to improve each day. It just feels fewer folk see that in themselves and do the same. And that’s coming from an old cunt whos far from fuckin perfect. Also, my fuckin laptop broke so I waited a week for a bloke nearby to fix it. What a fuckin lifesaver, he’s the real mvp!
Also Also, one of you did privately apologise and I appreciate that. I certainly hope we agree to disagree and continue to grow as people on our separate ways. Trust me, I dont forget small acts like this. Even the trauma that caused and the aftermath, please dont think I dont appreciate the apology. However you’re also entitled to know that the forgiveness and healing side may take longer for me due to various factors that occurred - much that few are aware of, including yourself especially. I wish you well and safety.
Hip Happenin Now:
Still busy but slowly visiting. I’ll reply and reblog soon, be patient please. Ive still many things to sort which take priority as well as other things. Im trying to get money n shit for a future and whatnot. Health issues are strong in the blood rn and Im spending extended time with both Big and the other pets to keep up harmony, especially now that Big is accepting slowly that our porch is a welcome shelter for him and he’s free to leave and stay whenever. Trust me, overloaded isnt even the word. Im prepping shit early this year and from now on. Also, my God Ive been dealing with more physical issues as well and had to play doctor. May even need medical interference but holy shit I could never see this coming. Still... It’s... An experience- If you could call it that. Staying more active and healthy. Cat’s nearly clawed my eye out in my sleep (to which I can only presume Billy got too close or hyper) but it’s fortunate placement so Im alright. Most of my body is in pain to the point of absolute normality at this rate. And I plan to make space for a better altar. Future of the Blog: 
Errr, it’s my fuckin space so it’s whatever I want really. Ill still have my Viv rants (ie, pros and cons of her work, HH/HB, other shit like that) however I just really dislike most the fandom at this point as well as the poor management and lack of professionalism and attitudes of staff. It’s just draggin me down and making me ill. I also want to showcase more of MY work (from redesigns to projects to some dumb 2am shit), cosplays, fashion, hobbies, spiritual practises - MY. SHIT. I feel like Ive strayed slightly. But I WILL be honest. And damn well will it upset people. And if it does and I’m genuinely ding something wrong/harmful - guide me patiently. Educate me. If it’s like this HD shit where Im not only allowed my opinions but justified on my traumas or mocking my disabilities or features, then just yeet yourself elsewhere. Also some of my gaming shit too. Getting to know folk who interact with my stuff and just... Create my space. For me. Something hopefully others can enjoy. Something that can function as a bit of an art portfolio as well. Critiques and whatnot.  But I will continually not stand for anyone’s shit or poor handling of serious matters. You will not cause me to doubt and invalidate my experiences like you have to others.  For now, Im tottering but slowly returning. For those who I previously and daily interacted with, I will get back to you. And Im sure you’re patient and understanding of my situation - it’s appreciated. But in terms of any fandom, more so if it’s known to be as hostile, I’d rather keep a healthy boundary between us. That’s for newer folk. Perhaps we may bond further and you’re welcome to try, however I do feel far safer not getting involved into other people’s shit any longer. I will put anon back on but any toxic shit will be reported as well as compiled so at least I have a reference on the actual toxic nature of fandoms. Likewise, Im slowly getting there but god theres a lot of fuckin work. So much that not even my closest friend has heard too much from me until recently. I’ll be returning to the grind for now as I have duties, as well as many demanding felines for my attention. Alongside some physical medical concerns which require additional care, I’ll be popping off now.  Im thankful for those who have checked in on me. I will reply shortly. Take care
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