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#3/4 done with my task
CJ: I'm like a rat in someone's basement Ben: what CJ: I didn't ask to be here but people keep trying to kill me Ally: who hurt you? Freddie: why the fuck would you compare yourself to a rat Freddie: you're at least at racoon tier
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Undertale yellow flowey embroidery
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This took about 40 hours, give or take a few
#I can tell you one thing#Embroidering while having arthritis is really not a piece of cake. When you hand cramps just by holding it at an angle.#At least I can be grateful for my empty schedule#Makes embroidering till the sun rises back up so much easier#Insomnia also helps with this task#I was listening to the ost while working on it and… Live reaction#Occupied turf is so good actually !? Why wasn’t it shown more often !? IT’S FIRE !?#I forgot I only did a pacifist so I got so confused when neutral Flowey came out…#A mother’s love ? Should’ve called this “I’m gonna fuck you up”#The number of time I got my ass handed back to me in this fight is not even funny#The first time is great. The second I only discern my favorites and the sudden change in style. By the third loop I can’t recognize shit#my brain is melting and my eyes are on fire…#Advantages on doing it during daytime. Eyes hurt less. Good stupid tv to listen to in the background Disadvantages. People#Advantages on doing it at night. Alone. Personally work better at night#Disadvantages. No good TV. Time goes by slower…? I don’t know maybe I’m just loosing it with those freaking petals#For reference one petal took me about 3 and a half hours. So yeah… I thought it would never end… Took out almost all my yellow.#When the line tangles itself in the back and you realize only close to the end of it that half went missing#So you have to go backward to entangle it and loose 30 mins because damn it#Cats are not helpful in any of those scenarios#Why do I feel the need to make the back perfect when nobody else but me will know#This is the last time I do one so big without thinking it through#Note to self. Don’t do it standing up when the cats are awake. She just destroyed my stomach#I think i’m losing it#Back after a few weeks#God this white thread is doing my head in… I’m willing to bet my leg half the time I spent on the face was me untangling it.#I’m almost done. It’s finally over. Dark brown took exactly 4 h and 13 mins#undertale#undertale yellow#embroidery#I’m thinking of doing Boris the wolf next. Because I just found the perfect rendition to put on my wall
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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plantanarchy · 8 months
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huh it's almost hort week 3 already how'd that happen
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lordsardine · 1 month
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seventh-district · 3 months
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several days and 15 thousand words later, i am relieved to report that the suffocating urge to Write Something has been sated and no longer has me in a chokehold
#Seven.txt#writing stuff#thinking of that post that’s like ‘u Have To make art or all the ideas stay stuck in ur brain and make u sick’ bc yeah thats been the vibe#wish i wasn’t so all or nothing about it tho. but alas. i’m that way with everything in my life#i either expect 10k in a day from myself or i don’t write at all for weeks. or months :)#and my average pace is about 500 words per hour. so u can see. how that might be a problem. given how many hours are in a day.#and that’s obviously not sustainable. but idk if it’s adhd or what but it’s So hard to quickly start and stop tasks just Whenever#i struggle to be one of those ppl that can consistently write like. 500 words a day every day and then wow! soon you have a whole novel#nah. once i get myself in the Zone then i’m Goin’ and i can’t stop until i’m Done or i collapse from ignoring my body’s needs lmao#it’s something i should make an effort to do though bc i’d love to be consistently chipping away at things instead of working in bursts#anyways this is a lotta negative self-commentary for what is actually a Positive post! bc yay!! i wrote a thing!! Two things actually!!! 🎉#i got the follow-up to last year’s Matt oneshot done And i wrote the next chapter of Heaven in Hiding after uh. a year and some months#i wanted to blow the dust off the ol’ keyboard by starting with writing some less. uh. high-stakes(?) stuff#not that i didn’t put my all into writing them. i always do. just that ik they’ll have less of an audience so ill cringe less if they suck#so then i can hopefully do justice to the [N]MbD stuff that i’ll be putting out next! ehehe *rubbing my hands together* Finally#the next two [N]MbD fics r already written but the first little one needs a final edit#and then the Big one for. uh. someone (u kno who u r) needs a bit of rewriting i think. i wanna make it Better#so release schedule will be 1. Matt • 2. HiH Ch.3 • 3. [N]MbD small fic • 4. [N]MbD Big fic#then i’m gonna write a lil Boothill comfort oneshot. then i’ll edit/maybe rewrite and post that Dew (Ghost) OCD comfort oneshot#i ​also wanna keep writing the last couple chapters of HiH before i unintentionally abandon it again#and after/amidst all that maybe i’ll manage to get ES Ch.6 written and posted before the end of the year 😭#anyways ik i’ve made posts like this before. talking abt all these Plans of mine. and most of those things r Still stuck in the pipeline#so don’t put too much stock into this plan. i could have another Bad couple of months and get None of it done#but god i sure fucking hope not. i’d really like to cling to my creativity. if for no other reason than that it makes me happy
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arcaneyouth · 5 months
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it is So Weird how working on my comic makes me feel like i have more free time. and gives me more free time. logically, working on 3 comic pages a week would mean i have Less Time. but no. despite everything, i'm getting more done and able to use my time better now that i'm working on comic pages again. what the hell is up with that.
#it's probably the structure and routine tbh i've been doing this for 6 years#i feel way less stressed about all the stuff i have to do than the 2 months i wasn't working on the comic#and arguably i have more to do now!!!!!#there's just so many little things that working on my comic helps me with. vital part of my daily and weekly structure#1) gives me a Main Goal to focus on every week and it's a goal that i know is achievable#2) gives me things to do almost every day that i am able to get started on right away and then will have free time later when i'm done#3) on days i'm not working on it i feel more comfortable doing things for fun or completing smaller tasks#4) because it's a weekly schedule i actually know what day it is now. completely lost track of the days before. made me really scared tbh#5) actually allows me to relax. the way i make pages means it's a lil bit mindless half the time. which is nice#i spent most of the last 2 months when i wasn't making comic in bed. because i had nothing else to do#now i am not doing that! because even when i'm not working on pages i have the motivation to do things!#this is an ironic post to make when i've spent like 6-7 hours today just playing fathomverse#but that's the thing!!!! instead of hating myself for doing that i still feel like i can get shit done!#also i already knew all this about making comics and how i function but. man idk how to put this#i spent the last 2 months struggling to do fucking Anything#and it was after i was so sure i could handle taking a break from the comic#and it was after lots of people have told me i need to put the comic down and get a job#or do anything that isn't making a comic#i have been working on the comic again for 9 days. and already everything feels more manageable#i literally Need to have projects like this. if i dont i will lose my mind. nobody tell me i need to do other things with my life ever agai
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opens-up-4-nobody · 11 months
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...
#well. today was a nice day of not doing anything but drawing really. theres an au where i went to art school and am a happier person lol#except not really bc im sure my head would ruin that too. anyway. its a shame i have to return to the pain tomorrow. i have so much to grade#plus a paper to write plus data to work with. a protocol to figure out. and an exam to study for and a final project thatll kill me#god. i also have to get ready for lab Monday. christ. and what shall i say to my therapist Tuesday? well we could try to tackle the deep set#looming issue that prevents me from getting better in our tiny 50min session or i could be like listen. just fucking listen. let me give u#the case 4 and against me having adhd so i can stop feeling fucking nuts. just like give me feedback. ya kno?#it would b inattentive bc im not hyper unless im losing my mind and bordering on hyp0mania. but my focus is something i cant control#executive functioning has always been a problem but now im so worn down im in danger of actual consequences. and its not just things i dont#wanna do. im not just anxiously avoiding. i cant start tasks and stick with them. i flip back and forth and get nothing done. i spiral#sometimes for hours. im not doing anything fun im just not doing anything. frozen in anguish. i dont even wanna think abt how much money ive#lost by not filling out reimbursement sheets which arent hard to do. theyre easy i just never do them. why??? i dont fucking kno. but im not#forgetful. im thinking constantly abt these things. i just cant make them happen. theyre stuck buffering. i do have memory issues tho#my short term working memory is like that of a literal child. so i cant follow complex instructions. i constantly need new info. constantly#need sound. spoken words plus music at the same time. but the main reason i need an answer to this is the reading issue. which is that im#dyslexic but also my thoughts r like an interfering frequency. without realizing ill b thinking and not reading. its a problem no matter#what im reading. its severely disruptive. i will physically read out loud to try to hold my attention in place and still get distracted by#my own head. do u kno how frustrating it is to read something aloud 3 times and not know wtf u just read bc u arent thinking abt anything#interesting u would rsther b reading but u can't fucking pay attention long enough. genuinely if its not adhd and i cant get medication to#fix my focus issues i dont kno wtf im gonna do. im so bad at reading and its extremely frustrating. but is it just dyslexia? idk what i#described doesn't fucking seem normal or like a reading problem. sounds like a focus issue. so riddle me that#idk ive got adhd on both sides of my family plus my focus fluctuates with ny hormones plus homones possibly induce hyp0mania. like i mean#ive got other issues which make a diagnosis difficult to parse but like i feel like that's decent evidence for possibly adhd? my friend said#she was always worried she had a brain tumor before she was diagnosed. to me ive always felt like my brain is full of holes. im missing the#parts that would let it operate correctly. the frontal lobe is just fucked. ugh. i wonder how much accommodation i could get from the#disability office if i actually went to them. i wont bc im fucked up and i dont think they could actually do anything for me at this stage#but alas im curious. ugh. y do i do this to myself? i kno y but not enough time for that in 50min. bad attitude mostly. half my brain#just craves death. the other half is just trying to tread water but its hard with someone trying to drown u. so its all fucked#unrelated
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iholli · 1 year
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Can we talk about Justice Lord J'onn for a moment? Because I feel like I was robbed. A Better World could've showcased how J'onn had changed due to loosing yet another person he cares for, and I frequently think about what the conversation between him and his Justice League counterpart would've been like.
Like Justice League J'onn would be so critical of him but he'd be like, "You'll be like me eventually." And that would've scared Justice League J'onn so badly IMO.
I also wish we could've seen more of how people's freedoms were taken in the Justice Lords' universe. Because something tells me Justice Lord J'onn no longer has an issue with using telepathy on those who don't accept the new regime.
YES PLEASSEEEEEEEEE. I can talk about J'onn all day and I can DEFINITELY talk about Lord J'onn omg.
YOU'RE SO RIGHT. He really didn't get enough screentime in the episode. I love love love what he got though and it says a LOT to me about his character tbh. He's very close and even kind of casual with the other Lords and he honestly seems like he doesn't want them to be on the ground [away from the Watchtower where they're protected ??? take it as you will] at least until they convince him it's necessary. He's got no problem lying to outsiders and taking advantage of their trust, and just generally going along with whatever the group decides. He reads kinda "I survived the loss of one family and I won't fail my new one [again]." to me. [this has me thinking like, what if Lord J'onn has this immense guilt bc his morals didn't allow him to read Luthor's mind without permission and that would've prevented Wally's death. SO HE DOESN'T HOLD BACK ANYMORE. fellas he makes me so sad. I make myself sad thinking about it. ow]
OH I TOTALLY AGREE, and to add, I think the conversation in Divided We Fall would be "You're already like me." [ALSO I'M STILL MAD HE'S THE ONLY ONE WE DIDN'T SEE FIGHT IN THAT SCENE.] I've got a little on this coming up in my J'onn ramble part 2 but we can see in JLU that he's already going down that road, however he knows and regrets it, he doesn't WANT to get to that point. So having that version of him that he KNOWS exists, that he's trying so desperately to keep himself from becoming, telling him he's already past that point would be a horrifying wakeup call. And I could easily believe this was a big driving force in why he ends up leaving four episodes later [he DID try to leave at the end of A Knight of Shadows sooooo 👀]. That's not going to go away especially for someone who's so intensely empathetic.
GOOOOOODDDDDDDD, I could genuinely just watch an entire DCAU series about the Justice Lords, they scratch such a specific itch in my brain and I'm so fascinated by them. I 10000000% agree with you. J'onn with no holds barred, J'onn who has lost too much, J'onn who genuinely believes it's him and his family against the world for better or for worse, he's not going to lose anyone else. LOOK AT STARCROSSED. When everything was at stake he didn't just invade Kragger's mind, he DESTROYED it. And J'onn is already incredibly impulsive as is, so if it's going to come down to the safety of his League family or the world ?? Game over. He's not even going to think twice. I actually talked about the telepathy issue in my long analysis and you are 1000% correct. In JLU J'onn already has less and less issue just taking whatever he wants from others' minds, it would genuinely only take a slight push for him to start using his powers to force people into line, so it's easy to assume this is the case for Lord J'onn. And honestly ??? League J'onn is angrier, he's more involved, he's kind of ruthless doing whatever it takes to protect his family [and only stops short because he constantly, consciously knows he has to keep himself in check. even that holds him back less and less as JLU goes on]. I think he'd be even scarier than Lord J'onn had Divided We Fall ended differently. Hell, he nearly sacrificed the world once, and that was way before he really saw the worst humanity had to offer.
or perhaps Lord J'onn was the same way at the same point in his timeline, and we just saw him after the world was already secured and he could sit back a little ?? that could explain a lot tbh. like I said, I could talk circles about him 😂
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verytendou · 6 months
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about to trauma dump to the ac*u and hope i get the job wish me luck
#theyre so funny for this question like what did they expect the response to be LOLLL#i know they had to change things to not get sued but like damn yall know this is just an excuse for me to trauma dump now#like lmfaaaaoooooo#anyways if i get this done in the next hour it will literally be the [TRAGIC-task youve put off for 2 months only took 15 minutes!]#meme all over again and that will just kill me bc i did put it off for an extra 10 hours today again#anyways i would like to be paid 30 bucks an hour so pleaseeeeeeeeeee hire me pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee#if not this its back to the motherland boys so get ready for a 3 hour time difference IM GONE FOREVER SOON#v.txt#literally so excited to graduate and leave for at minimum a year and be literally anywhere but here college is a lie friends#and dont do it unless you are 5345245u34% sure you want to bc i do feel like i have been scammed#I SHOULDVE DONE A TRADE!!!!!!#anyways hears hoping i get this job and find a different way to spend time in peru bc regardless i do miss it there#none of u understand the intricacies of being able to get pollo la brasa or ceviche whenever i want..... without my mom having to make it#none of u understand the intracacies of coming back from the MOTHER-motherland and having the capital police stop ur bus#anyways as per usual if your motherland isnt at least a level 4 DNT for us citizens dont even bother talking to me about it#HAVING YOUR DNI IN YOUR BACK POCKET AT ALL TIME-RS MAKE SOME NOISEEEEEEEE#realiziing i spent here's wrong earlier and i hope you know it haunts me but i wont change it so we'll all have to deal
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seancamerons · 11 months
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OMG YOUR SEMMA COSTUME, I CAN'T <3
thanks! i had a blast. 🌸💕💐
#asks#simonspiervsthehomosapiensagenda#💌 tysm for the ask!!#the hair was a dauntng task to say the least#i got a lot of compliments on the 12 dollar shein (18 when all was said and done)#i diyed it#it was a fun night#pt 2 on tuesday - tomorrow night the curlers are going in#sleepsleep and then showtime#hairspray bump it from 2009 and then the makeup#lots of glitter#like 3-4 babies breaths from dollar tree purple roses and lots of cursing my hair for being problematic initally and a lot alot alot of#backcombing and with all that - my hair is gonna hate me this week#i got a lot of compliments tho even if not everything registered#i got a girl saying she thought i was a bridesmaid (half true)#i had one calling me a prom queen (valid)#i had one saying looks like my bridesmaids dress from my best friends wedding 30 40 years ago (there were young and old guests at this venu#i got about 3 people who were like OMG#or when they'd ask i say well it's supposed to be#then i get the questions lol#casual fans all “i didn't know about this emma or sean i knew about drake tho” or “i wasn't allowed to watch that!” or they started late#like post next gen boiling point#they couldn't believe it was from shein either#bc it didnt look bad to them#it was so much fun though#hopefully the tuesday halloween night will be smoother sailing dressing up#so excited!#pictures to come#:)#i mean barbie was popular queens and scary things are the norm but a random girl from a random episode from a canadian series
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altruistic-meme · 2 years
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reasons i should start to go to bed on time again: snapping shit at my mother for pestering me about things that i KNOW i need to be doing
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deus-ex-mona · 2 years
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sometimes, i just wanna evaporate… _(:3 」∠)_
#5 am depression rant incoming… sorry#tfw you’re sooooooooooo bad at everything you do it’s not even funny anymore _(:3 」∠)_#like. i’m so bad at my job that i can work ot for 4 and a half hours till 3.30am and *still* not be done with my assigned task#who would’ve guessed that latent cringefail + a general inability to focus + a horrible repetitive task would be a recipe for failure—#so yeah. i’m terrible at my job. especially when i’m at this certain workstation. i wonder how i even still have a job…#and if i at least had something else to be decent at… that’d be a different story#but no. i suck at my hobbies too. let’s face it; my tls are horrible. literally anyone else can do a better and more consistent job#and this other hobby i once had? i was decent at it for a bit then i had to take a break bc of work and stuff…#…and yeah. i sucked at it biiiiiiiig time when i returned. even the most junior of my juniors were better than me and i.#and ofc i suck balls at the arts too. (shoutout to the time i was rejected from the drama club for being too depressed)#like i once duetted with a then-friend for a music test of sorts. normal stuff right?#nope. we sang so horribly that our teacher stopped us in the middle of the second verse. at least our classmates didn’t laugh at us lol#ughhhhhhhhh. and that’s not even mentioning my terribly terrible social and communication skills. why am i like this#sorry if you read this. i’m just.. gonna hope that today will be a better day than… well. today…#inedible blubbering
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wickedhawtwexler · 1 year
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i get sooo worried about going off my adhd meds, but honestly i feel like i sometimes exaggerate how bad my adhd is because the last time i was unmedicated for a long period of time (right before i was diagnosed) i was also literally suicidal and had severe anxiety which uh. definitely exacerbated the lack of focus 🫠
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nomaishuttle · 1 year
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ok took a GET SCARED break time to go back 2 physics the library closes in an hour and a half..
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urbanfiltered · 2 years
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AAAAAA
#i HAVE developed the inability to live with people and idk when it happened#i used to be so different ! my cousin used to stay over for like a week straight and i would enjoy every day!!#and now it’s like#if i have to spend 4+ days in a row with ANYONE outside of my immediate family i start crying in the shower#i need to!!!#get a grip#god i think i just get overstimulated#and i think ‘doing nothing by myself’ time has gotten more and more important for my brain#like tbh i used to dread being alone but now i can kind of make myself enjoy my own company#i don’t mind the routine 5 hour drives i have to make to and from my parents anymore#like they used to bother me but now it’s just some nice chill time to vibe with myself#which is cool!!!!#i’m glad i like me#it is still really hard to self initiate things though#like when i’m alone for too many days in a row i can SO EASILY fall into inaction#it’s 1 day i sleep too late and then the next 3 days i can’t self regulate or self motivate myself to start a task#i AM still working on that one#though i will say it’s gotten better#i know this is a stupid thing to brag about but i started watching abbott elementary (on my own) and now i am actually#almost done with season 1#i have NEVER been able to start or finish a show on my own#i lack the executive function to make myself start things#even things i like and want to do#but!!!!!#i am beginning to do things on my own#ANYWAYS this got lost on me but back to the main point jesus fucking christ i need some time to myself
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