#40th prompt almost done

[silverderp098]

It's time to end it

The final prompt is in progress

It's a biggie

[kateandthediamonds]

How the Duchess of Cambridge is preparing to be Queen

On her 40th birthday, the inside account of how a girl from the Shires has coped with the relentless demands of royal life. By Roya Nikkhah, royal editor

Who would marry into the monarchy? Graveyard of broken marriages, hotbed of family friction, the world’s eyes scrutinising your every move.

From Diana to Fergie to Meghan, royal brides’ discontent with the institution is renowned. But more than ten years after marrying in, the Duchess of Cambridge celebrates her 40th birthday today with a high level of the personal and professional happiness that has eluded some royal wives.

That is no mean feat for a young woman who has been so exposed for so long. “The reality is she has been in public life for more than a decade, hugely visible, constantly photographed and has never put a foot wrong,” says a longstanding royal aide. “She has carved out her role on her terms.”

The past two years have been, to say the least, turbulent for Kate and her family. The Sussexes quit royal life for America, firing missiles at the monarchy and some personally at Kate; the Cambridges scrambled to lead the royal family’s response on the ground to the pandemic; the Queen’s health recently prompted a national wobble and Kate has watched her husband mourn the loss of his grandfather, not to mention his close relationship with his brother.

Jamie Lowther-Pinkerton, one of the Cambridges’ closest friends and advisers, their former principal private secretary who is godfather to Prince George, assesses Kate’s coping mechanism: “She has that almost old-fashioned, Queen Mother attitude to drama — she just doesn’t do it.”

An image of the duchess arriving at the Duke of Edinburgh’s funeral in April last year is telling. Taken a few weeks after Harry and Meghan’s interview with Oprah Winfrey, which included accusations of racism in the royal family, Kate appears composed but defiant. During that interview Meghan said that in the lead-up to her wedding in May 2018 Kate “made me cry and it really hurt my feelings”, the opposite version of what had been reported previously about a fracas at a bridesmaid dress fitting. “Some recollections may vary,” said Buckingham Palace on behalf of the Queen. William, 39, was “reeling”, with “his head all over the place”, furious that his brother and sister-in-law had taken aim at his wife and his family, forcing him to state publicly: “We are very much not a racist family.”

Kate reacted differently. Instead of stamping her feet and demanding her right to reply, her focus turned to her husband. “In the days after the interview her priority was William, not how she felt about what Harry and Meghan had done,” says a source close to the Cambridges. “She has focused on personal support for William in what has been a really sad time in his life. She never predicted the degree of falling out between them.”

Of the “who made who cry” incident, a palace source says: “I’ve had hundreds of hours of conversations with her [Kate] and it never came up. I only ever heard from Meghan about that — a very different story from what she said to Oprah.”

A close friend says: “Kate has a way of calming William down and knows how to be really affectionate and gentle. But she is 100 per cent loyal to him and has a shaft of steel running up her back when she needs to deal with stuff that’s unpalatable.” One of William’s closest friends puts it bluntly: “He has had a year from hell and she has been fantastic supporting him.”

William is the first to acknowledge his wife’s diplomacy. “Catherine is a peacemaker,” he told a friend. “She’s much better than me, she wants everyone to be aligned.” When the royal party emerged from St George’s Chapel in Windsor after Prince Philip’s funeral, Kate broke the ice chatting to Harry, leading William to follow suit. In July, when the brothers were briefly reunited again at Kensington Palace to unveil a statue of Diana, Kate did not join them publicly but worked her magic out of sight before the brothers emerged into the glare of the world’s media.

William was still furious,” says a close friend. “He had taken the view that he’d only give so much. He just didn’t want to go there [with Harry].” An aide says: “[Catherine] was amazing behind the scenes when Harry came.” The event went off without a hitch.

’Twas ever thus, says a former courtier, who points to the royal trio’s Heads Together campaign launched in 2016 to raise awareness around mental health: “It was completely her idea. She was very keen for the three of them to do something powerful together equally. She cared a lot about William’s relationship with his brother.”

William and Kate met at the University of St Andrews in 2001, where they were initially in the same halls of residence and reading the same degree, although William switched from art history to geography. Kate briefly dated law student Rupert Finch in her first year. She and William became a couple in 2003, managing to stay under the radar until April 2004 when The Sun broke their cover, publishing photographs of them skiing. Kate’s world changed for ever. Yet she did not. “She was always the same, from when she didn’t know she was going to be William’s wife to after the engagement,” says a close friend of the couple. “She never changed her manner with anybody.”

The eldest child of Michael and Carole Middleton, she was raised in the small, idyllic village of Bucklebury in Berkshire. Her parents’ successful party-planning business enabled them to send her and her two younger siblings, Pippa and James, to Marlborough College, a private school in Wiltshire. There she moved in upper-class circles that made the transition into royal life a relatively smooth one.

Another friend who has known her and William since the early days of their relationship when Kate was still the “unknown girlfriend” recalls how “totally herself” she was from the start. “When I first met her with William, she was completely at ease with him. There was no ‘Ooh, look at me with the prince’. She was charming, clearly bright but not showy, just totally natural.”

That ease came from a solid friendship before romance blossomed. As William said in their engagement interview in 2010: “We ended up being friends for a while and that was a good foundation. Because I do generally believe now that being friends with one another is a massive advantage.”

One of their closest friends says a spark was there from the start. “He found her really attractive and they’re the couple that still really fancy each other, there’s still a strong attraction. She finds him hilarious, they’re very into each other.”

Meghan has often complained bitterly about her treatment at the hands of some in the media, and it is easy to forget that Kate had a rough ride from the start. After their relationship became public she was hounded by the paparazzi, who camped outside her Chelsea home, chasing her down the street. When it emerged she was working as an accessories buyer for the fashion label Jigsaw, photographers followed her as she went to buy her lunch. A friend tells me Kate was even chased late at night by several men in a car, which she found “terrifying”.

William’s team did all they could to help, but until he put Diana’s ring on her finger Kate was on her own without police protection. “It was constant. She coped with it admirably, given how intrusive it was,” says a former royal aide. The onslaught continued for years. After her job at Jigsaw became too difficult with the paparazzi, she went to work for her parents’ party-planning business and was attacked for being a “Waity Katie” who was biding her time until William made an honest woman of her. Reports that some in William’s circle nicknamed her “Doors to Manual”, in a reference to her mother Carole’s former career as a flight attendant, are said to be an “urban myth” by those close to the prince, but the future queen did not have it easy.

“It was never water off a duck’s back, but she has extraordinary strength of character and resilience,” says the aide. “I’ve never once seen or heard of her losing her temper. She went into it with her eyes wide open and her brain engaged. She is a sound, grounded person who knows herself well.”

Kate astonished everyone in royal circles with how she handled their wedding in April 2011, watched by an estimated global audience of two billion. A close friend says: “She must have the ability to switch on a tap and ice runs through the veins, because she was so calm throughout.”

The nerves kicked in soon afterwards, when the newlyweds set off that summer on their first overseas tour to Canada, where they will one day be king and queen. Lowther-Pinkerton says: “She was nervous when she went to Canada. It was her first big foray into that world and we had to get it right in terms of how she could project herself, but not overproject, now that she was married to William. We were determined that Canada should be fun, because at the end of it we didn’t want her thinking, ‘Christ, I’ve got another 70 years of this.’ There was some dead serious stuff too — Quebec was pretty momentous.” A small group of anti-monarchy separatists protested when they visited the city, but the couple were undeterred and met well-wishers on an unscheduled walkabout.

Back in Anglesey, where the Cambridges spent their first years of marriage while William worked as an RAF search and rescue helicopter pilot, Kate carefully planned her approach to learning how to become a future queen. “She was absolutely daunted by it and it was overwhelming at times,” says one of her closest friends. “Everyone wanted her to be the next Diana — people had this Diana hole they wanted to put her into. There was constant ‘what are her [campaigning] issues going to be?’ William was protective in making sure she had time and space to acclimatise to public life and not feel pressured.”

With charities clamouring for her attention, Rebecca Priestley, a confidante and adviser from 2011 and her private secretary from 2012 to 2017, helped Kate shape her new role. “Catherine knows every decision is for the rest of her life, everything is for the long game,” Priestley says. “She was aware she wasn’t an expert in any one field and she wanted to educate herself first, then shine a spotlight where needed. It was a ‘listen and learn’ approach rather than immediately becoming patron of a charity. We did a lot of under-the-radar visits before the public engagements.”

In late 2011 Sandy Nairne, then director of the National Portrait Gallery (NPG), received a surprise call requesting a visit. Kate, an art history graduate and accomplished photographer, “clearly knew what she was talking about”. It was agreed the NPG was a good fit, but there was a snag. “We had some toing and froing about what she would be called,” Nairne says. “The gallery had never had a royal patron or any patron, the ethos was it was a gallery for the nation, so the feeling was the idea of a “royal patron” didn’t sit right. I hesitantly rang her office and said we’d love to have her but would she mind just being patron, not royal patron? She completely got it.”

In February 2012 Kate made her first solo engagement, visiting the Lucian Freud Portraits exhibition at the gallery. Nairne says her patronage noticeably “connected the Portrait Gallery with much wider and younger audiences”.

Nairne recalls only one controversy, when Kate’s portrait was painted by Paul Emsley, an artist she hand-picked to capture her in 2012, aged 30. “We asked her what she wanted it to look like and she said, ‘Just me.’ She didn’t want any finery or elaborate royal setting.” The resulting photographic-style portrait was striking in its simplicity. Before its unveiling in January 2013 she viewed the painting privately and “it was a bit of a shock”, Nairne says. “It was a bit like anyone seeing a finished portrait for the first time, ‘Woah, that’s me,’ and it was larger than she expected. I was nervous but she was very positive about it.”

On the morning of the official unveiling she was heard saying: “It’s just amazing, I thought it was brilliant.” But the critics were savage. Waldemar Januszczak, art critic of The Sunday Times, said Kate had been “let down”, that her eyes “don’t sparkle” and there was “something rather dour about the face”. Robin Simon, editor of the British Art Journal, said it was “a rotten portrait”. Nairne says the critics got it wrong because “they were looking for an ‘image’ of her. Instead what they found was just her, just as she’d wanted.”

She took a similar approach for a Vogue photoshoot in 2016, marking the fashion magazine’s centenary. Kate eschewed haute couture for a country casuals look of T-shirts, trousers, a cosy brown coat and fedora for the photographs, taken on the Queen’s Sandringham estate in Norfolk, where the Cambridges have their country home, Anmer Hall.

A source close to the duchess explains her decision behind the pictures: “It was meant to be a portrait of her at that time in her life, when she was based in Norfolk, not yet a full-time working member of the royal family and not doing the princess thing, so it didn’t feel natural for her to go for ballgowns and tiaras. Alexandra [Shulman, then Vogue editor] was very understanding, but they did have a few gowns on the day ready to go in case they could convince her. [Kate] looked at them with a smile and said, ‘No, we’re going with plan A.’ ”

Some of the media’s obsession with her style over the substance of her work is a source of frustration, one that cut deep when she was starting her public life. A close friend says: “When she goes to the Bond premiere or is at Trooping the Colour, of course she puts on the ‘uniform’ of the role. But what was enormously frustrating and difficult for her, especially in the early days, was she was going out and doing the work she was interested in and was hugely important to her, and people just talked about what she was wearing.”

When Kate made her first public speech in March 2012, at the Treehouse hospice in Suffolk, she wore a high-street dress that her mother, Carole, had previously worn to Royal Ascot. “There she was meeting with hugely vulnerable children and families, and the dress was the story,” says the friend. “She said she found it ‘a bit demoralising’.”

Her closest aides say the duchess is “allergic to advice on a PR basis” and will “never do something because she thinks the media will like it”. An aide says: “We’re never allowed to formulate advice along the lines of ‘it would look good if you did this’ or ‘a quick photo op with the kids would be easy for this’ — that is the quickest way to lose her. It’s not stubbornness, but unlike other public figures she just won’t do it if it’s not done for the right reasons.”

Another close adviser says: “How she operates is not reactive. She has stuck to the path that she knows is right for her and her family. It’s not about the quick win.”

It was the same when the Sussex show was going well for a time, with Meghan described as “a breath of fresh air” for the monarchy, bringing a modern, diverse feel to the institution. Before things spiralled the Cambridges looked a little too steady to some. But there was “no risk of Kate being blown off course or changing direction”, a close aide says. “Things need to feel relevant, but fundamentally it’s about a long-term set of values and there are benefits to tradition that the duchess has always had real clarity about. She is not flashy, that’s not what people want the institution for, and she has always had a very clear understanding of that.”

That refusal to be bounced into reactions has stood her in good stead through only a handful of crises in her royal career. The first came in September 2012, during a tour of southeast Asia and the South Pacific to mark the Queen’s Diamond Jubilee. The French version of the magazine Closer published paparazzi photographs of Kate sunbathing topless while she was on holiday with William in France that summer. She was devastated but carried on with the tour as if nothing had happened. William, who finds it harder to hide his emotions and for whom the episode evoked his mother’s suffering at the hands of paparazzi, looked like thunder.

“For any normal person, when those photos are in circulation, you’d be within your rights to go to pieces,” says Priestley, who was with them when the story broke. “But there was no sense of ‘poor me, this is horrendous for me’. She knew it wasn’t going to be helpful to have a meltdown.”

The global frenzy over the story threatened to derail an important diplomatic trip. Lowther-Pinkerton was also with them: “How she reacted brought that whole tour back on course. It would have been blown off course with any histrionics. She was very much ‘the show must go on’.” The Cambridges successfully sued the magazine for the “grotesque” breach of privacy.

In 2013, while the duchess was suffering from severe morning sickness during her pregnancy with Prince George, she came under heavy fire from the author Hilary Mantel, who described her as a “shop-window mannequin, with no personality of her own, entirely defined by what she wore”, whose “only point and purpose” was “to give birth” and who “seems to have been selected for her role of princess because she was irreproachable … without quirks, without oddities, without the risk of the emergence of character”. Kate, said Mantel, appeared “machine-made”.

A close friend explains why the duchess maintained a dignified silence as debate raged around the comments: “She met William so young, there has been constant commenting on her and her family for so long that she has developed the good sense not to pay attention to everything because there’s always going to be someone saying something about her. I’m not pretending that things don’t hurt, but ignoring most of it is the only way for her to be.”

But royal hackles were raised last summer when Tatler magazine published a profile entitled “Catherine the Great”, alleging she felt “exhausted and trapped” by her workload after the Sussexes quit royal duties, describing her as “perilously thin”, her mother as a “terrible snob”, sister Pippa as “too regal” and claiming Kate had a poster of William on her wall when she was younger. Kensington Palace said the story contained a “swathe of inaccuracies and false misrepresentations” and the Cambridges instructed lawyers. Tatler removed the above unsubstantiated claims from the online version. A longstanding aide says: “I can count on one hand the number of times a story has upset her, but anything about her family or her parents is a touchpoint.”

Family is everything to Kate and she remains close to her parents and siblings. “I had a very happy childhood,” she has said. “It was great fun — I’m very lucky, I’ve come from a very strong family — my parents were hugely dedicated to us.” That stable family unit was a big draw for William when they met, and continues to be his compass. William has told a friend: “Catherine has made me realise the importance of family. As you know, family hasn’t always been an easy thing for me.”

The Middletons are the picture of respectability, maintaining a low-key presence in royal life at fun official engagements such as the Royal Variety Performance and the recent televised carol service at Westminster Abbey, hosted by Kate for community heroes of the pandemic, for which she also recorded a Christmas message and surprised viewers with her first public piano performance. Even occasional blips by Kate’s uncle Gary Goldsmith, who is Carole’s younger brother, have not dented their credentials. Goldsmith, an outspoken, self-made millionaire entrepreneur, was arrested in 2017 after an altercation with his fourth wife, and in 2009 he was caught in a tabloid sting chopping up cocaine at his Ibizan villa, Maison de Bang Bang. But he remained in the fold, attending the Cambridges’ wedding two years later.

William and Kate’s first years of married life, based mostly in Anglesey and Norfolk, were crucial. “It was really clear they needed to establish a solid family life, because there was always a sense that it wouldn’t last for ever,” says a friend. “That time was hugely important, because their working life has become more pressured the further away from that time they’ve got.”

Kate has always presented the unflappable demeanour of a mother who seamlessly balances the demands of a very public role with the challenges of raising George, eight, Charlotte, six, and Louis, three. But in February 2020 she let the mask slip a little, in a frank admission of wrestling with “mum guilt” and how parenthood had “pulled” her to the “toughest and most unknown places”. On the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast she admitted struggling with “the juggle” of being “such a hands-on mum”, being riddled with “doubts and questions about the guilty element of being away for work” and always “questioning your own decisions and judgments”. It took her time to shed the guilt of having a nanny and housekeeper to share the load: “It was a real weight off my shoulders [to realise] that actually it’s not totally my responsibility to do everything because, you know, we all have good days and bad days.

It was rare to hear Kate nattering away unscripted, and an unusually candid insight into what matters to her: “Is it that I’m sitting down trying to do their maths and spelling homework over the weekend? Or is it the fact we’ve gone out and lit a bonfire and sat around trying to cook sausages that hasn’t worked because it’s too wet?” Kate revealed she adopted hypnobirthing techniques and had “really quite liked labour”, but found the prospect of emerging on to the steps of the Lindo Wing for a photo call hours after giving birth a “slightly terrifying” but necessary part of the job. “We’re hugely grateful for the support the public had shown us, and for us to be able to share that joy and appreciation with the public I felt was really important,” she said.

A close friend gives the unvarnished take on how Kate really feels about sharing the most personal moments of her life with the nation. “She accepts and understands that in their position this stuff needs to happen. But it’s not easy for her, particularly with the babies. Standing there after just having a baby, feeling exhausted, those moments take a huge amount out of her. It’s hard work because she’s a normal woman with all the vulnerabilities and realities all women have. It is part of their life, she doesn’t resent it but it takes a lot of effort.”

Many in royal circles describe Kate as “a perfectionist”, but what is she really like behind closed doors? “She is shy,” says a friend. “Very private, quite steady, she is not going to be the one who lets loose, and won’t pull the pin and get lashed,” although she sometimes enjoys a gin and tonic at the end of the day. The couple are expected to host a joint party this summer at Anmer Hall when William also enters his forties. Friends say Kate loves dressing up for cocktails and dinner, and enjoys after-dinner games.

A close friend says: “She’s brilliant at dressing up and acting silly for the children, going into different characters.” Fancy dress is a Middleton tradition, with her father, Michael, wearing joke costumes each year at Christmas. “She adores her children, playing football and rounders and feeding the chickens and gardening with them,” says the friend. “If she wasn’t who she was, she’d be a gardener or a photographer.”

“She has a great sense of humour,” Priestley says. “On a trip back from an engagement, she will giggle if something went wrong and sees the funny side of things and will often take the mick out of herself and William. People mainly see her professional side, but it doesn’t mean the fun’s not there.”

In his close circle William is frank about what is on his mind, including family woes. But Kate doesn’t go there. A friend says she is “150 per cent more reserved than William”, and the most they’ve ever seen of her views on Meghan was when she jokingly rolled her eyes at the mention of Suits, the legal drama Meghan starred in before she met Harry.

And what of the great “Kate” debate? An old friend scoffs at reports that she requested a regal rebrand from Kate to Catherine upon her engagement: “I call her Catherine, her family and her old Marlborough crew call her Catherine. At uni she became more of a Kate, among friends of William’s she’s Kate.” William calls her by both names.

The duchess’s legacy project is the early-years work that she has been developing for a decade, culminating in the launch last year of the Royal Foundation Centre for Early Childhood, which convenes academics, charities and other bodies to “collaborate on new solutions” for early intervention. Royal aides say she believes the issues are “the social equivalent to climate change”. Announcing the centre, Kate said: “My own journey into understanding the importance of early childhood actually started with adults … I wanted to understand what more we could do to help prevent some of today’s toughest social challenges, and what more we could do to help with the rising rates of poor mental health. My hope is that we can change the way we think about early childhood and transform lives for generations to come.”

The idea was not manufactured by courtiers, says Jason Knauf, chief executive of the Royal Foundation of the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge until last month, and former communications secretary to the Cambridges and the Sussexes: “She came up with the full structured plan of how the centre would work. The duchess understands that she is going to have a public role in her own right. She is charting her own course on that and trying to make a long-term relevant contribution.”

Professor Peter Fonagy, chief executive of children’s mental health charity the Anna Freud Centre, of which Kate is patron, says: “She has a clinical understanding of the issues, and the skills with parents and children in very challenging situations, that are better than some people who have been working in the area for a long time. She’s an implementer — if we’re going to make an impact in this area, it will be in large part because of her.”

In private, William speaks with pride about his wife’s work, and that is another part of their double-act success. Unlike his parents’ marriage, where Diana’s popularity eclipsed Charles, much to his frustration, William is happy that the future Princess of Wales has found her groove and popularity with the public. There is only occasionally a twinge of frustration when they do joint engagements and he is cropped out of the photographs.

A royal source close to the Cambridges says: “She has been a hugely important factor in him coming to terms with his destiny, how comfortable he has become with his role in the royal family as future monarch and the demands of that.”

In 2019 the Queen promoted Kate to Dame Grand Cross, the highest female rank in the Royal Victorian Order, awarded personally by the monarch for services to the sovereign — a sign of her gratitude to the woman on whose shoulders so much expectation rests. A royal source who has known Kate from the start believes she has quietly observed Her Majesty’s game plan and successfully adopted many of her tactics: “She will be queen for a long time, and knowing her, she will have thought, ‘Who is my role model here, who has done this really well? Who do I learn from to lay down and build the foundations for the long game, to stay solid, strong, calm and confident, without giving up too much of myself?’ I think she has taken a lot from the Queen.”

Since the Duke of York stepped back from royal life in 2019 over his links with Jeffrey Epstein, and the Sussexes left in 2020, the load on the Cambridges’ shoulders has become heavier, and according to a close friend “they do feel more exposed”. Another Cambridge confidante says: “The UK looks to them for the future of the monarchy. It’s a tough role.” But the future Queen Catherine has proven she is up to the challenge, says Lowther-Pinkerton: “She paced herself, she took her fences slowly but faultlessly.” Knauf believes “she will be a huge asset to the institution and the country”. An impeccably placed, longstanding royal insider who has watched Kate’s evolution says of the future king and queen: “William will be respected. Catherine will be loved.”

🖊: Roya Nikkah

📸: Paolo Roversi

[nightklok]

“we need to get some ice on that asap” for chickles? 8')

Caretaking Dialogue Prompts

Hello I'm so sorry it's taken this long but it's finished finally...

Title: I'm Your Leading Deletion Summary: Charles gets shot somehow so Pickles finds them a hotel to hide in until morning arrives. And with being stuck in a room for a long period of time, they have to talk about what they've been avoiding since the events of Doomstar. Or avoid what they need to talk about. Whichever's easier. Trigger Warnings: blood, injury, religious discussion

Read on AO3 here! The fic is also below the cut!

When Charles was a child, he broke his leg. He had been playing on the tire swings with the other group home kids when he felt the rope give away just slightly. The kids that surrounded him didn’t notice because they were too focused playing around by either pushing the swing or trying to jump off or jump on when it was midair.

If he spoke, no one heard him. He clutched the tire as he heard a snapping sound that was loud enough for the laughter to abruptly stop as they all looked up at the worn rope slowly ripping apart.

He knew they had only a few seconds until the rope would finally snap, most likely when the swing would be high in the air despite the kids no longer pushing it. When the swing finally reached ground level enough, he shouted a word that everyone could hear, “Jump!” and pushed the reluctant kid next to him to the ground. Luckily, the other kids quickly jumped as well except for him who had missed his chance.

He was lucky that from the impact and the way the tire landed, it was just his leg that got broken. It was the worst case that the doctor had ever seen but it could’ve been worse. It took so many weeks of physical therapy and surgery to even be able to walk again. He was told that for the rest of his life, that leg would be his weaker one.

Somehow, that never ended up being the case. The incident got put in a local newspaper and news story; he got to meet the mayor and all those nice rewards but the story had quickly faded and as did he in the town’s existence before two years had passed. He was lucky enough to be in a foster home until he turned eighteen thanks to that story. The memory of shattering his leg and almost losing it had been a memory that faded away from time.

And now, almost thirty years later, he would have to potentially go through physical therapy again with the same leg. The irony was not lost on him.

He was sure that if Pickles wasn’t freaking out at the moment, he would even laugh at the story and make a joke. A corny joke that would turn to an inside joke that no one else would understand. Would well be worth the inconvenience.

But he would not laugh at that story anytime soon, and understandably so.

Charles knew that he should feel pain. There was an almost numb feeling to his leg where the bullet was lodged inside his skin but other than that, it was manageable. It was like having a shirt tag rub against your skin; it was merely an inconvenience.

It didn’t matter how calm he appeared; Pickles was not having it. He had already shut the door to the hotel room, putting up a chair and whatever other heavy objects to help stop anyone from entering the room. Yes, he could point out the klokateers outside the door guarding them until their ride came but it gave him something to do at least for the time being. He was never a fan of attention on himself anyway.

Once the door was barricaded enough for him, he proceeded to go to the windows. They were on the 40th floor but once again, he did not make a comment on it, “Pickles, ah, you’ve done enough I think. I appreciate your efforts but I think we’re safe for now. The chances of me getting shot twice is very unlikely.” The last one was a failed attempt at a joke…if it could even be called that. Maybe he should’ve taken those improv classes from that college roommate.

“We didn’t think you’d get hurt even once tonight but look at you!” Pickles retorted. It was clear he didn’t know what else to do but he wouldn’t just stand around either. So he did the next best thing to do; pace around and text the klokateers to hurry up and get to them.

“You don’t have to worry about me. I can’t feel anything anyway.”

“Of course you can’t feel a thing! You got fuckin’ shot for Chris-fuck’s sake!”

“No,” He sighed, “I mean, I won’t feel anything. I’m dead, remember?”

For the first time since they entered the room, Pickles stopped moving around. It wasn’t a topic either of them explored and for those words to be exposed so openly, especially at a moment like this…it was downright awkward. Terrible timing, even. Charles had meant to talk to Pickles about it. But then came Selacia and Magnus and other things that just kept piling on to the point where he assumed he would figure it out. Clearly, that was a wrong assumption to make.

Pickles looked at him for a few seconds, trying to read past the stoic expression he had maintained the whole time. For once, he was calm but the anger had seeped through his tone, “You barely mention it. How am I supposed to read your mind?”

“I shouldn’t have expected you to know this when I never even got an opportunity to talk to you about this and I’m sorry about that.”

He averted his eyes, standing in front of him. A million words clearly crossed through his mind, carefully picking which one to use to avoid the inevitable conversation that Pickles would constantly delay, “It’s fine, we can talk about it later. But if you’re dead…what’s gonna happen?”

He wanted to say that nothing would happen but the worrying look on his face made him stop. It would be hard to explain his situation of being half alive. Not quite human but not quite a zombie either. Just a half of an empty shell of a human is all he could ever be. He didn’t expect Pickles to understand and he supposed that stung a little. He refused to let the thoughts slip anything further than just a small bump on the road that would be resolved anyway, “I can’t give you a clear answer but I would imagine the church would help me. They were the ones who revived me.”

It was Ishinifus who had done most of the work but he wouldn’t mention it.

“What are they gonna do…they can heal it, right?”

Charles shook his head, “I’m afraid it’s a process too difficult to fix.”

“What? But Magnus-”

“It’s different. Magnus was only a few hours dead when we found him. I’m…well, I’m well past a few hours dead. I’m sure they could but I don’t want to waste resources or valuable time on me.”

“So if they can’t heal it…what can they do?”

“Amputation’s my best guess.” He answered nonchalantly. The mere thought of it was enough to send shivers up his spine but he was always cold.

“Cutting it off?” He choked out, “And you’re fine with it?”

Charles shrugged, “I’ve dealt with much worse and I have the funds to get a realistic prosthetic to replace it. It’ll be as if I never had my leg amputated.”

“But it’s still a limb gone! You can replace your body with all that robot shit or whatever but it’s still a limb gone. You shouldn’t…you don’t have to pretend you’re okay for me, okay?”

“I’m fine. This is just another sacrifice for the prophecy. Things in time will resolve itself; you’ll see eventually.”

“It’s complete bullshit y’know. How can you believe in this shit?”

“I’m standing right in front of a God. And I shouldn’t explain to you what happened a few months back because you were right there.”

“Whatever happened that day was just some figment of our imaginations or something! it could be special effects, magic anything but I’m not a God!”

“The prophecy-”

“I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Pickles, you can’t keep ignoring it. What more proof do you need? There’s not a lot of time-”

“I was raised Catholic, Charlie! I’m not Catholic anymore but I can’t be atheist either. I mean, I was when I was a teen and up to this point. It’d be stupid to just call myself one if I’m apparently a God and I guess I’d be a narcissistic if I say I believe in a God. I don’t even know what my religion should be. Don’t you think it’s…a little hard to take this all in?”

He did not want to say that the most confusing part was how stupid he felt. All those years of worshiping a God that never listened to his prayers…and he was the God itself…it had to be ironic, there had to be some sort of irony carried to it. Would that mean he was listening to himself? Could he have possibly done something to change his life for the better if he somehow tried a little harder?

He had hoped Charles would understand just like before the God stuff started happening. He always did. But this was a situation that seemed exclusive to a select few and as special as his role was, it wasn’t the same. All that Charles could do was offer condolences, “Right. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize how difficult of a transition this would be for you.”

“I just need time. I don’t get it.”

“What don’t you get?”

“Everything. It’s-we can talk about it later. I don’t wanna talk about it right now. Not while you’re out here bleeding out. I just want time; I promise I’ll do whatever you want after.”

Charles wanted to say that he had no choice in the matter. It was all his fate, from before he was born to the present him standing right in front of him. He wouldn’t say that though. He understood Pickles enough to know that the internal wounds were too raw to point out his lack of options. That he had gotten out of a confined space so many years ago only to put in one again, this time much more limited and claustrophobic.

He didn’t. As much as he had hated lying to him, it was for the greater good. His only justification, “That would be appreciated, Pickles. It won’t make a lot of sense now but it will in due time. I promise.”

Pickles didn’t say anything. He looked at his leg, surprised that blood wasn’t just pouring everywhere from the wound. The only way to tell was the darker navy blue stain and hole in his pants leg. It was too much to even look at, “We uh should get ice on that…”

“Ice. Ice on a shot wound?”

“Would you want lemons instead?” Pickles retorted. It was meant to come off as serious but even he could see the humor of his own words, “Give me your jacket.”

He grimaced, knowing what he planned to do, “But it’s limited edition.”

“You said you got a lot of money, right? You can replace it.” He grinned.

Knowing he couldn’t argue against his own words, he unbuttoned his jacket and handed it to him, “You can just use my pants instead. It’s not like it’s salvageable anyway.”

“It gives more wiggle room to work with.” He answered as he reached into his pocket for his keys. The material was strong but it was no match for a man who used to design his own clothing at a point. Find one of the seams, he used the sharp edge of the key to cut through just a few stitches. He ripped the rest apart until he got a good enough size for him.

He helped roll up his pants leg just enough to see the wound in full detail. There was no exit wound from what he could see. There wasn’t really anything he could do, not to mention he was scared of fucking something up. The best he could do was wash off the dried blood, wrap the wound and hope that it was good enough until whoever from the church can tend to it.

He used one of the spare fabric and water to wash the wound first. He watched the navy blue fabric immediately get absorbed by a liquid that wasn’t just the water. He didn’t want to call it blood. There was a faint scent, almost rotting, and as it seeped through the fabric and onto his fingers, it felt thicker than what live blood should be. God, he could feel himself get sick just thinking about it.

He had to look away for a few moments as he continued until it was fully cleaned up as best as it could be. He wrapped the fabric around the wound, making sure it was tied well enough before pulling the pants leg down. It felt stupid trying to make sure a leg that would most likely be gone wouldn’t get affected but it was a distraction. Some semblance of normalcy for once in a long time, even, “You should be good for now.”

“I really appreciate the help, Pickles.”

“It’s not a problem.”

He wanted to say more. He wanted to say how he truly did love him and believed he was capable of saving the world and so much more. But he also knew it just wasn’t the right time (when would the time ever be right?) so he had to hold his tongue, “Do you wanna sit down? It might take a while for them to get to us. We traveled pretty far from the church.”

“Yeah. I guess they probably won’t be here ‘till morning.” He shrugged knowing there was nothing else to do but wait. He threw away the rest of the of what once was a expensive jacket, grabbed the complimentary wine and sat down next to him without another word. They said nothing for a long time and it felt as awkward as being teens on a first date.

Charles looked at his phone for the first time since they came in the hotel room. A text from his assistant that they would be arriving in the morning and if they would be okay until then. With a quick text that they were safe, he tossed the phone to the side and glanced at him. Pickles wasn't looking at him, staring blankly ahead but clearly thinking of other things as he took a sip from the wine.

"Mind if you share?"

The bottle of wine was handed over to him. There were wine glasses but he didn't want to ask for some even if drinking out of a bottle was a sin to him. He took a few swigs of the wine, expensive and bitter. He never was a wine guy anyway but it was something.

He handed the bottle back to him as Pickles turned on the TV to flip through the channels. A rerun of a sitcom he never heard of seemed fine enough. He didn't want to end up on any news stations.

"Did they give an update on when they'd come?" Pickles asked finally.

"Just in the morning. We should be fine here though, you did barricade the entry ways pretty well."

He kept the TV on as he turned the volume to a low setting for his version of a noise machine, "Well, if that's the case and if I made it so secure, I'm gonna go to sleep. Unless your version of sleeping is just playing dead for a few hours." Pickles added in the last part as some part of dark joke. It wasn't good as his but it was enough to ease the tension.

He reached for his phone that he had tossed on the bed, "I'll sleep with you in a few minutes. I need to make a few quick emails."

Pickles took the phone off from him, kissing him briefly before he could get a word out, "Remember why we came out all the way here in the first place?"

"For a break?"

"For a break. And with your leg getting sawed off in the morning, it'll just have to be a longer one." His mischievous grin always made him flustered. Like he had his hand caught in a cookie jar and left him speechless. He walked to the table across the bed to set the empty wine bottle and phone down, "Just sleep with me."

He couldn't argue to that. Not to mention he would have nothing else to do other than to watch stupid sitcoms.

Pickles helped him take off his shoes and get him to lie down without moving the leg as much. Once he was comfortable enough, Pickles crawled under the covers and wrapped an arm around him. Cold skin hit against warm but it was okay. By morning, his body would be just a few degrees warmer because of him.

They didn't say anything as the silence filled in the words they've said to each other countless times.

Charles was about to drift off to sleep. He was in a warm bed, Pickles was holding him close and sure the bullet in his leg was uncomfortable but he could manage.

"Hey?"

"Yeah?" He asked sleepily.

The next seven words would keep him up all night.

“You’re not a good liar, Charlie.”

[inevitably-johnlocked]

✨When you get this, please respond with five things that make you happy! Then, send to the last ten people in your notifications anonymously. You never know who might benefit from spreading positivity✨

Hey Nonny!

Ooof this got lost in a bunch of stuff! Sorry about missing it! Only remembered it because I saw a similar ask on my dash hahha.

Seems like a good day to do this, since I'm so tired and exhausted and I need something to make me smile.

Dragons. Just everything and anything with dragons. I'm fascinated with them. If you buy or make me anything with dragons, I automatically love you.

I finally bought myself my iPad I've been saving up for for *literally* 3 years. Because I was saving up for a trip this year that I am no longer taking (was planning a 40th birthday trip to Disney, but now am not going to Florida at all until they get their shit together), I took some of that money also to buy it and bought a top-of-the-line one, the best I could buy at the local Apple store (1TB, 12.9inch Pro... you don't want to know how much it was :|). I love it so much, and it's nice to use it to get off my laptop. I mostly was prompted to buy it now because it was my 40th birthday gift to myself AND my Wacom driver kept crashing my laptop and I'm scared to reinstall it hahah.

Funko Pops. I LOVE them and hate them. I only collect ones from series and shows I like, but I have WAY too many of them that most are in storage right now. I want to get my own home soon so I can display them finally. I am constantly checking the app for upcoming Funkos, and then immediately check my local toy store for their preorders. My local toy store must love me, I have SO much on preorder right now.

Drawing and writing. I'm alright at both, but I've terrible imposter syndrome so I feel like I'm not good at either, mainly because I don't get much traction on either when I post. I've a few people who always help me get it out, but I these days I do it for me, because it makes me happy.

Video Games. Currently playing AC Valhalla, and I LOVE it so much that I ended up buying the Season Pass. I RARELY buy DLC. But the game was SO good and I wanted more, so I needed to play the expansions. PERSONALLY it's my fave of the new trilogy, and because it's a "current" game, it's always got new stuff. Love it. My fave game EVER is Kingdom Hearts 2. I love the story of it so much. Skyrim is a close second – I like Skyrim because I put in over 200 hours in ALL versions I've played, and still there's so much I have to do hahah. AC New Trilogy is third. I liked DA Inquisition but never finished it, and I still have a bunch of games I bought last Christmas I have yet to play, so my list may change... it's highly unlikely though.

So there you have it Nonny! I think it's good I waited until I was in a better mood to answer this... People stopped sending me these because I was always so negative in them, I guess... I hope I get more of things like this when my asks go back on.

Can I also give you 5 things I'm looking forward to? I feel like that will help me keep a positive attitude for a bit.

My current work contract is almost done, and I'll get some downtime before I have to start my normal day-job again. Looking forward to my weekends back.

My broken foot seems to be healing REALLY quick. Yesterday was the first day I woke up without it hurting, and today I've been able to hobble around on my heel (as per my doctor's instructions that I need to start doing once my foot stopped hurting). I'm optimistic that I'll be given the okay to drive again during my next appointment on the 30th. I am going nuts not being able to leave home on my own accord.

So in Canada, we have this thing where you can take out your RSPs tax-free for three things: Retirement, First Time Home Ownership, and Second Education. I set up my RSPs WAY back when I was making piss-poor salary about 10 years ago, and I wanted to make sure that I at LEAST could have SOMETHING when I retired. I recently discovered I maxed out the amount of money I can take out for First Time Homeownership in my RSP, so my plans to home ownership are looking more and more realistic. I just wish owning a home wasn't so expensive where I live (major city in one of the most expensive provinces in Canada). It's hard when you're single-income. Here's hoping that I can make it a reality soon. The idea is a condo, I just have very expensive tastes (safe-neighbourhoods apparently justify a 10,000$+ more in cost :/) so I keep saving into my various accounts and GICs that I set up after I finally was making a liveable salary, so as long as I keep being humble and living below my means, I can finally get what I save up for... if only the cost of housing would SLOW THE FUCK DOWN. It's gone up 100K in just a year. It's insane.

I also saved up enough for a new couch thanks to a second contract I took during my CURRENT contract, which paid me exactly enough for the couch I want to get (I may or may not have strategically negotiated that contract, LOL). I've been needing a new couch for years; the one I currently have, I have sentimental attachment to (it was my dad's and is over 20 years old) but working at home for almost 2 years, I've worn it out and it's SO VERY UNCOMFORTABLE. It's barely staying together. Looking forward to getting it :) ... Was waiting until cooler months since I have to put it together myself (IKEA) and my apt is SO hot in the summer, no way I can do it then.

Having my asks turned back on. I'm sorry, it sounds so cheesy and dumb, but I don't have many RL friends or connections, and you guys help me stay positive and help keep my negative thoughts at bay. The dark thoughts have been coming in a lot lately, to the point where I've convinced myself that no one missed me and no one cares, so it's helped having a few of my regulars and mutuals check up on me in DMs during all this. Thank you <3 I don't always reply back, but your love is appreciated <3

Thank you again Nonny for asking me this <3 And I hope you don't mind I answered more than you asked <3

[icefire149]

You are good at angst so 28 bestie <3

I hope this was angsty enough for you Rubi! I spent yesterday and today's warm up on this one. I swear all the prompts I've done, they've all gone in directions I wasn't expecting. This definitely wasn't the scene I meant to write, but I quite like it. Please enjoy <3

#28 – When I am dead – Dean/Castiel

“I know I’ve screwed up more than any of us could have predicted, which is….impressive in it’s own way, but….I’m glad that you have Jack.”

With the tips of his fingers, Dean lightly twisted and turned the beer bottle on the bunker’s kitchen table. As he spoke, he was still hunched over and watching the last third of his drink splash and move against the glass. The silence stretched longer than he’d hoped. He glanced up to find Cas staring at him confused.

“Oh, come on,” he breathed. “We all know I haven’t done a bang up job.”

Cas’ eyebrows pinched together. “Jack idolizes you. You know that, right?”

A painful laugh tore from his throat. “You really need to introduce him to….honestly anyone would be a better role model.”

“It’s not your call. Dean, he loves you.”

“He’s a toddler. He doesn’t…..” Dean pushed the bottle aside and ran his hands roughly through his hair. Exhaling, he leaned back in his chair. “Cas, he didn’t even get to be a baby because I shot him not even an hour after he was born.”

Cas sighed exasperatedly, “Maybe you’re right.” He held Dean’s gaze for several heartbeats before letting his head slowly tilt. “What’s important is that Jack has all of us. He’ll always need you.”

“Even without the Michael situation….” Dean rubbed the back of his neck. “It’s not the same. He’ll have you. You’ll have each other long after the rest of us are dust in the wind.”

“Dean.”

“What! It’s true.” He picked up his beer again. His eyes locked on the lip of the bottle. “I’m glad you’ll have each other. I don’t want you to spend the rest of existence alone.”

Cas sighed, but this time his stare softened. “Dean, I….” His voice was laced with pain.

“I know,” Dean cut in. “It’s heavy and I’m not aiming for any kind of big emotional moments here, but...with Michael trapped-” He tapped the side of his head with his left index finger. “I figure I don’t have a lot of time.”

“You have decades,” Cas said firmly. “We’re going to solve this problem just as we’ve always done and you’re going to be here to see Jack’s 5thbirthday.” He stood up and laid both hands on the kitchen table. “And then his 10th, 16th, 21st, 25th, 30th, 40th, and 50th!”

Coughing, Dean put his beer down and raised his hands, hoping that Cas would calm down. “Do you realize how old I’d be?”

“Yes,” Cas said with a deadly serious aura. “I’ve done the math, several times.”

“You might wanna run it again,” Dean joked. He wasn’t able to stop his tongue. “If you ask Claire she’d tell you that I’m already geriatric for a hunter.”

The corner of Cas’ lip twitched. “I don’t doubt her assessment. If you remove hunting from the equation, then there’s no reason why you couldn’t see any of those milestone birthdays for Jack. Claire’s milestone birthdays as well.”

“You’re asking an awful lot,” Dean shook his head. He could still vividly remember the days where he honest to God thought that living past 30 was a pipedream, and now, Cas was expecting him to see his 90s….

“It’s the bare minimum.” Cas sat back down in his seat. He still had the palms of his hands resting on the cool table.

“As long as you’re in the wheel chair next to me,” Dean grinned. The thought of living to a ripe old age was terrifying, but he could do it if Cas was there with him. His nervous heartbeat started to settle the moment he imagined the angel there at his side. His hair would be more than peppered with gray patches. He’d probably be wearing reading glasses so much they’d be glued to his nose. And he’d have a closet of colorful, chunky knit sweaters to replace his long worn out trench coat.

Cas’ warm smile quickly wobbled and wavered before some other emotion won in his eyes. Dean almost chased it, but then it too was replaced with something else: a more teasing glint. A hint of Cas’ teeth caught his eye now. “I’ll try my best, but I’d imagined I would be kicking your wheel chair to every event.”

“Oh right,” Dean mumbled, remembering the whole point of this conversation. “Angels are eternal.” He laughed. “People will eventually think you’re my grandson.”

“I was thinking…..more like nurse, or doctor.”

Dean swallowed sharply. He nodded, trying to ignore the way his ears burned.

The look dimmed in Cas’ eyes, and his shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry,” he muttered. “I don’t want you to give up. I can’t imagine this world without you in it.”

“I get it,” Dean said, losing himself to his memories. There was something about that kind of pain that made any complication seem solvable. Like it wasn’t until he’d been cleaved open by death’s scythe that his truth was free.

Dean still remembered his father pulling Sammy free from his arms as their house burned down, and how even still his mouth couldn’t stop whispering to empty air the same promises: I love you. Dad will fix this. We’re safe.

What felt like a life time later, he remembered whispering almost the same words into his brother’s hair as he bled out in his arms. I love you. I’ll fix this. I’ll bring you home.

The worst was when his hands shook uncontrollably in the dirt and ash outside of Kelly’s cabin in North Cove. Dean waited from the moment the light extinguished from Cas’ eyes all the way until the final coals cooled for a miracle. He waited for Cas to rise. He waited for his world to start spinning again.

It wasn’t until he was down on his knees with his wrist buried in the pyre’s remains that he was torn in half. The sun was never gonna shine again. And now there was no warmth to hold, hair to comb, and skin to touch. Dean cried until he was too exhausted to keep spilling out the same words over, and over again: I love you. Come back to me. I’m so sorry. Please, don’t leave me.

His throat hurt like he was suffocating on the pyre’s smoke. Dean’s gaze slid back to Cas, and he was able to breathe deep again. Cas’ studied him like he was desperately trying to uncover what horrors he was reliving again, so Dean downed the last of his drink, but he couldn’t bear to break the eye contact. Like a part of him was still afraid that Cas would turn to ash dusting the meadow’s flowers once again.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Dean lied. How do you tell someone that you’re incapable of loving them until they’re dead? “I just….” Dean shook his head. “Can you promise me something?”

“Anything, of course.”

“When I die-”

“Dean.” Cas leaned back in his chair.

“Dude, just listen. When I die, I need you to promise me that you’ll come visit me. Break me out of whatever memory loop I’m in.”

Bewildered, Cas’ eyebrows furrowed. “Okay.”

“There’s something I’ll only be able to say then.”

Cas leaned forward in his chair. His stare pierced into Dean, unwavering, like he was certain that he could learn all he needed from his eyes alone. “Dean, you can tell me now. You can always tell me, anything at all.”

“I know, but just promise me this. It’ll be worth the wait.”

Ask me more writing prompts (I’m using these as warm ups so send a number and a ship)

Prompts I've done so far

[brandonimhotep]

HOUSTON -- One of Houston's most renowned plastic surgeons recently performed one of the biggest breast reductions he has ever done. Kerisha Mark suffers from a medical condition that gave her a 36NNN bust size and all of the pain, embarrassment, and physical hardships that went along with it. Eyewitness News cameras went inside the operating room as Mark celebrated her 40th birthday with a life-altering operation and had more than 15 pounds of tissue removed. "I was like, happy birthday to me!" Mark said. She wants to be known for the woman she is, a wife, mother, and school social worker, not the extremely large chest that has prompted stares and whispers since high school. "My first time at boot camp, I did a jumping jack and my bra snapped," Mark said. Mark is an extreme case for Dr. Franklin Rose. As her natural breasts grew larger the emotional and physical effects began taking a toll. "I started to have really bad heachaches. Women and men want to touch them to see if they are real. It's real intimidating," Mark said. After much prayer, she went to renowned #Houston plastic surgeon Dr. Rose. Rose says he hasn't seen anything like it in his 30 years of practice. "She is among the largest, if not the largest patients for breast reduction," Rose said. "This indention she has from constant dragging and pulling." The surgery is not only cosmetic for Mark. She has a condition known as #Gigantomastia where women as young as 14 can suffer from a massive overgrowth. "Nobody could support this additional weight," Rose said. "She would have ended up almost a hunchback given 30 more years." After three hours in the operating room, Rose removed 15 lbs. of breast tissue. Source: #abc7chicago (Story from 2014) ✨👉🏾 Kindly #FOLLOW Our New Page @WonderWombman2 ✨ (DM For Promo Prices) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWpAmg_opxZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[rookie-ramsey]

Hey, can you write a fan fic or a Head Canon where mc anonucnces that she is pregnant with her second child to Ethan and Jonah.

Finding a creative way to announce her second pregnancy takes more work this time. For the first, she just had to plan a cute way to tell Ethan. Now, she also needs to figure out a fun way to tell their five-year-old that he’s going to be a big brother.

Jonah has asked for a sibling before. Sometimes, he changes his mind when he sees what his friends who have siblings have to deal with. Some days, he still wants a brother or sister. On other days, he’s content being the only child.

For her first pregnancy, MC announced it by “proposing” to Ethan with a pacifier in a ring box. She still likes to think that was possibly the cutest thing she’s ever done, but she wants to do something different this time.

She decides to go a simpler route. She buys him a custom coffee mug with Edenbrook’s logo on it, and at the bottom, she has a message printed: Father of Two.

Maybe she should have warned him to finish his coffee before he reads the message, because he almost chokes on it. To her relief, though, it’s not a panicked choke. They’ve already discussed conceiving again, so his excitement is immediate.

She wants Ethan to help her find a way to tell Jonah before he changes his mind about siblings for the 40th time. She doesn’t want to go too over the top, considering the fact that Jonah is only five, but she still wants it to be more significant than just sitting him down and breaking the news.

That evening, MC tries to slip in little clues to see if Jonah picks up on anything. She sets the table with baby forks and spoons (which are entirely too small for Ethan’s giant tall-person hands, so he has to eat with the appropriate silverware instead). Jonah asks why they’re eating with tiny forks, but he doesn’t press the issue when Ethan and MC don’t tell him right away.

After dinner, they play some games. They have several clues hidden around the house, prompting Jonah to put the pieces together. He’s definitely suspicious when he finds a tiny pair of socks and a diaper. 

He guesses it pretty fast. He asks his parents if they’re going to have a baby. They say yes, glad that he’s been on a sibling kick lately. He’s really excited, especially when they have a little celebration with cupcakes.

Jonah is already suggesting names for his brother or sister and planning what he wants to do once they’re old enough to do more than poop and sleep. 

 MC gives him a Big Brother tee shirt she bought for him, which he promptly spills frosting on.

Tags (part 1): @princess-geek​ / @buzz-bee-buzz​ / @lapisreviewsstuff​ / @polishchoicesfan​ / @msjpuddleduck​ / @silverlitskies​ / @paulfwesley​ / @dr-brianna-casey-valentine​ / @timmagicktoad​ / @choicesstanblog​ / @lucy-268​ / @trappedinfandoms​ / @alexis0280 / @junehiratas​ / @ramseyandrys​ / @cecilecontrera​ / @justanotherrookie​ / @imescullen​ / @bellcat2010​ / @desmaranj​ / @lion-ess24​ / @openheart12​ / @mvalentine​ / @choicesfanaf​ / @whatchique​ / @smilex1104​ / @elephant9998​ / @nooruleman​ / @caseyvalentineramsey​ / @kaavyaethanramsey​ / @xee-na​ / @edith-eggs1​ / @oofchoices​ / @schnitzelbutterfingers​ / @tefigranger​ / @laceandlula​ / @paisleylovergirl​ / @simsvetements​ / @crazy-loca-blog​ / @somegdchoices​ / @jlynn12273​ / @ramseysno1rookie​ / @sanchita012​ / @forthebrokenheartedthings​ / @lilyvalentine​ / @parkerattano​ / @loveellamae​ / @drramseysownsme​ / @misswhit12​ / @drethanfreakingramsey​ / @juneiswriting​ / @macy-ray85​ / @swimmingauthordreamerbonk​ / @myusualnerdyself​ / @siaramsey​ / @takemyopenheart​ / @queencarb​ / @drakewalker04

[fatgirlsguidetodating]

Blog: Almost 40.

I’ve never been one for posting particularly introspective blog entries publicly. It’s not that I don’t contemplate things, or even write about them, but for the most part those meandering musings are confined only to my phone’s notes app- my most used app behind Facebook. And on those rare occasions that I *do* publicly blog about them I usually keep it on a relatively superficial level as I don’t necessarily like opening up my mind (and insecurities) to strangers.

But I’m turning 40 in less than a month and I think this is the catalyst that’s prompted a lot more thought about things than I’d ordinarily give them. I’d always considered 40 old but, as I approach it, I don’t *feel* old. And my family and friends would be rather quick to point out I don’t act it either. I always thought by 40 I would be much further along in life than I am. That I’d have a good job, a nice husband, a nice house, kids, that whole suburban dream. But... I haven’t.

And I started thinking if I’m a ball of mixed emotions about turning 40 maybe there’s other women- and men for that matter- who are feeling the exact same way so perhaps if I’m to break my self imposed cocoon of privacy around my innermost thoughts now might be the perfect time to give it a shot. So, with that being said, here goes nothing...

Here’s the thing: I remember my Mum’s 40th. I had just turned 10. I was sitting outside with my cousins, all of similar ages, and we were making fun of what we considered to be the appalling music taste our respective parents had. I even remember the leather pants Mum was wearing. She claims to have forgotten them but I think she’s faking that despite her bad memory. It didn’t even occur to me for a millisecond that my 40th wouldn’t be spent in a similar fashion. I just assumed life would follow the same path most women’s lives had followed for generations (with one caveat- I was planning to be the first one to go to uni): I’d find a job, I’d find a husband, we’d buy a house with a white picket fence, and we’d have 2.5 kids and a dog. And that all of that would be well and truly achieved by the time I turned 40. Just like it had been for my mum, and her mum before her, and hers before her. It was just the way things went, you know?

And then life happened. There’s a line in “Beautiful Boy” one of the John Lennon songs that I love that says “life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans” and it couldn’t be any truer in the 21st century than It was when it was written in 1980. (It’s a cruel twist of fate that it was written not long before he died and released after his death.)

For me “life” was all about my health, or lack thereof. I’ve mentioned the back issues before and the many hospital visits, and the 70 plus back ops. In essence this put things on hold: work, getting a home of my own, finding a guy (hard when you are always in and out of hospital and have problems losing weight) and having kids. So as I approach 40 without those things I’m not necessarily looking forward to it the way many do. (Plus if I get one “over the hill” card the person giving it to me shall be in a body bag.)

One thing I noticed when researching this blog post was Google searches about turning 40 seemed to concentrate on two things: what your health would be like post 40 and life as a Mum. Well what about those of us who are single and childless? Are we invisible? This didn’t particularly help with my mixed emotions about this supposed great milestone.

And it seems I’m not alone. Dr. Nancy Oreilly wrote about women’s aging anxiety that regardless of how you feel towards turning 40 you’ll still do what everyone does at this juncture and take stock of your life thus far. Things like “what have you done with your life? Are you the person you intended to be and are you living the life you want?” (1.)

In Lisa Bono’s interview with author Glynnis MacNicol about her book “No one tells you this” for the Sydney Morning Herald about life as a single 40 year old woman MacNicol admits she approached her 40th with “so much dread and shame" because she didn't have what she was "supposed" to have - a husband and a kid or two.... (because) we don't understand how to talk about women's lives as fulfilling unless we incorporate babies or weddings.” (2.)

Meredith Goldberg, in her article about age being just a number posed the question that if indeed age was just a number why was she feeling so apprehensive? Was it because she felt “like (she) had not accomplished enough in (her) 40 years on earth?” (3.) After all she hadn’t gotten married, hadn’t had kids, didn’t have another advanced degree.

Interestingly studies over the last decade or so have shown that the start of middle age (which, much to my chagrin given my belief I’m still like a much younger woman, is considered to be 40) often correlates with the time when people are the least happy, have the lowest levels of life satisfaction and highest levels of anxiety. A study at the University of Warwick and Dartmouth College attributed this to the facts that at this stage “adults are often faced with the pressures of raising children and looking after aging parents while simultaneously dealing with mounting financial and career pressures.“ (4)

Is it all too late for me- and other women turning 40 without a child- though? This is one of the most common thoughts going round and round in my head as I approach 40. I mean we all know about the whole ticking biological clock right? Even when I was doing my first postrgrad degree at 24, working part time, still single, still living at home, I still thought well there’s plenty of time. At 28 when I was finishing with postgrad, working full time but still single I *still* thought well there’s still a fair bit of time. At 33 it changed to well I guess there’s still time if I get a bit of a hurry on now. And now, at 39, single and childless, I think well maybe it’s too late now.

In her article about turning 40 whilst single and childless Bethany Jenkins wrote that it’s not only common but practically universal for a woman to expect and long for children, “to bring new life into the world; to put her hand on her belly as her baby grows; to wonder whether the newborn will have her or her beloved’s eyes; to hear “mom” not as a word uttered by her own voice to her own mother but as a call from her child’s voice for her.” (5) MacNicol in her book echoes that saying “as women, we’re taught to expect our stories to turn to marriage and children at a certain point in time (namely, before 40.)” (6)

Robin Deutsch, a psychologist and associate professor at William James College in Newton also points out that women reaching 40 tend to be more confident, have more wisdom and make better choices. (4) (Does she even know me?) But when you really think about it the whole “life begins at 40” theory has some merit. Julia Child didn’t publish her first cookbook until she was almost 50. Vera Wang didn’t start her fashion career until 40.

The fact that these women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

So does this mean that the formula that my mum and all my ancestors followed, that unsaid life plan of when to get married, buy a home and have kids, is a thing of the past? We know women have children later these days. In fact the median age for a first kid these days is 30.6 as per the ABS reports

From the 1950s to mid 1970s, the fertility rates of women aged 20–24 and 25–29 were patently higher than that of all other age groups. Since then, the fertility rates for women in their 20s have been steadily declining whilst rates of those aged in their 30s have mostly increased since the early 1980s. Since 2000, the fertility rate of women in their early 30s has been higher than all other groups. It’s not just that women are having babies later but also the birth rate has declined. In 1950 the birth rate was 23.124. Its predicted 2020 will be at 12.561. (ABS yearly reports.)

We know women have children later these days, preferring to be settled and to have done the things they thought they’d not be able to do after before becoming a parent. Compared to our mothers, our grandmothers and so on we have more choices and not every woman’s first goal in life is having a child. (8)

The differences between say baby boomers and millennials are striking. It’s not just the fact that they settle down later but there are also other factors that mean by the time we turn 40 we may not have all the things our ancestors have but there are other priorities we have. For instance more women go to university now than they did when my Mum was turning 40. And after spending the time, work and money to get a degree it’s only natural that it follows that they want to get more out of their careers. Whilst baby boomers are more driven by loyalty, often staying at the same company for years, millennials are more interested in achieving more, whether that’s at the same company or not. (9) My father, for example, worked for the same company his entire life. He could have gone to many others with the knowledge he’d accumulated but he liked his job and he was happy there so it didn’t even really occur to him in more than a passing thought.

Then you look at things like buying a home. It’s ironic given that pay has increased that millennials are putting home ownership off longer than previous generations. Whilst people of my parents generation were content with a “starter home” these days more and more first home buyers want a bigger home, with bigger and better appliances, closer to the city than the suburbs etc. Research has found that rather than jump straight into a mortgage millennials look at travel, and spending their pay on things like Ubers and Lyfts, coffee, gadgets, clothes, and live entertainment and sports. (9)

Marriage is also something we do later. Consider the fact that whilst almost “50% of baby boomers were married between the ages of 18 to 32... a mere 26% of millennials are married in the same age range.” (9)

The fact that so many other women have the same feelings surrounding turning 40 whilst single and childless gives me some comfort. There’s a quote from Jung that I remember from philosophy at uni. He said that life begins at 40 and until then you’re just doing research. And maybe I’ve got to look at the positives in my current circumstances? One big upside I see is freedom. In the next 12 months I plan to travel and return to uni to study something I’m passionate about and it’s doubtful I could do this had my life taken that path I was so sure it would.

In an article published on mindbodygreen.com the writer spoke about how well-meaning friends had been asking her did she not want to have kids, did she not want to get married, etc, and she was quick to say that this can actually be the “most celebrated time of your life (and to) consider yourself blessed and enjoy the freedom.” (10) She listed some of the things to celebrate about turning 40 whilst single and childless. Like me travel was up there on her list as was the time to Perdue your passions. She also mentioned “(the) opportunity to nurture your friendships and relationships with family...(and that) the dating pool is large in your 40’s (given) a large majority of our population is divorced... there are so many

social media dating sites and social events in every major city... (and) you know what you're looking for.” (10)

So maybe instead of worrying about why I’m not where I wanted to be turning 40, worrying that it’s too late, worrying that my friends are further along than I am, I should be embracing it. The future is mine. I’ve just got to find a way to embrace it.

Fatgirl.

Sources:

1.) https://www.drnancyoreilly.com/40-2/

2.) https://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/life-and-relationships/no-one-tells-you-life-as-a-40-year-old-single-woman-can-be-like-this-20180717-p4zs16.html

3.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sheknows.com/health-and-wellness/articles/1140197/anxious-about-turning-40/amp/

4.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.bostonglobe.com/magazine/2017/06/01/seriously-now-what-traumatic-about-turning/UVnbdmxVvLSzwoB8Yo4wGP/story.html%3foutputType=amp

5.) https://ifstudies.org/blog/reflections-on-turning-40-while-single-and-childless

6.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.wellandgood.com/good-advice/single-at-40-glynnis-macnicol-interview/amp/

7.) https://aifs.gov.au/facts-and-figures/births-in-australia

8.) https://www.mamamia.com.au/average-age-to-have-kids/

9.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.businessinsider.com/difference-millennials-baby-boomers-2019-4%3famp

10.) https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/so-im-single-40-and-childless-now-what--10631

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

Graphics by Elena Mejia Lutz

Poll after poll showed a high level of enthusiasm for voting in the general election in 2020, and in the beginning of the year, voter registration surged to match that excitement. Then the COVID-19 pandemic hit. New registrations have fallen off a cliff.

The spring of a presidential election year is often a busy time for adding new voters to the rolls, and a recent report from the Center for Election Innovation and Research, a nonprofit organization that aims to improve voter turnout and election security, shows registration numbers were even stronger in early 2020 than early 2016. But things changed dramatically in March, at least in the 12 places where FiveThirtyEight or CEIR were able to obtain data on new voters, a category that includes first-time voters, voters who recently moved to the state and, in some states (Texas, for example) even voters who moved between counties in the state.1

Consider Florida, for example, where 109,859 new voters registered in February of this year, compared to 87,351 registrants in February of 2016. But in April 2020, only 21,031 new voters registered, compared with 52,508 in 2016. The same pattern holds in 10 other states, plus Washington, D.C.: Each one registered fewer new voters in April 2020 than in April 2016, including in states where online voter registration is available.

Currently, 39 states plus Washington, D.C., offer the ability to register to vote online, and a 40th (Oklahoma) is expected to implement it this year.2 However, in the three places for which we have the relevant data (Florida, Maryland and Washington), online voter registration has not taken off during the pandemic — certainly not enough to make up for the lost in-person registrations. Even in Washington, where online registrations have ticked up since the beginning of the year, the pace is comparable to 2016: 2,956 people registered online in April and May 2020, similar to the 2,771 people who registered online in April and May 2016.

The fact that new voter registrations were outpacing the 2016 numbers in January and February was predictable, according to David Becker, the executive director and founder of CEIR. For one thing, population growth means that voter registration always climbs a bit, he said. The expansion of automatic voter registration makes getting on the rolls more convenient than ever in many states, too. Voters were also clearly interested in registering, Becker said.

“Every piece of data we had looked at with regard to enthusiasm about engaging in this presidential election cycle indicated that we had to be prepared for the highest-turnout presidential election that almost anyone living had ever seen,” Becker said, “which makes the decline in March and especially April all the more striking.”

Based on the timing, it seems safe to assume that COVID-19 had something to do with the drop-off, but there’s data to back that assumption up, too. In addition to how many new voters register, some states track how these new voters get their name on the books. In 2016 and in the pre-pandemic months of 2020, in-person registration at places like departments of motor vehicles made up a large plurality, or even a majority, of new registrants in the four places3 for which we have data on how new voters are registering. But after the pandemic caused most states to shutter many government offices, those registrations dwindled. By contrast, remote registrations (e.g., online or by mail) held relatively steady.4

“This is completely expected, but very concerning,” said Wendy Weiser, director of the democracy program at the Brennan Center for Justice at New York University’s School of Law. “The coronavirus shut down most of the primary avenues through which Americans register to vote: government offices, and all the malls, theaters and public places where voter registration drives operate.”

Indeed, the closing of schools and public events like festivals has hindered in-person voter registration drives run by third-party organizations. “We had planned to go to 850 high schools leading up to graduation, but as schools closed, that work was clearly disrupted,” said Jeanette Senecal, a senior director for the League of Women Voters who focuses on voter education.

For example, in Florida, third-party organizations registered 14,144 voters in January 2020 — a huge increase from the 1,196 they registered in January 2016. But in April 2020, they registered only 133 voters — down from 3,806 in April 2016.

States and third-party groups can still get around social distancing restrictions to get more voters on the poll books, though. Voto Latino, an organization that works to register and encourage Latino Americans to vote, has been operating digitally almost since its inception and was well prepared to continue its work during a pandemic. It uses digital campaigns to help voters register, which can even work in states like Texas, which does not have online voter registration — Voto Latino created an app that makes it easy to fill out the required form, which is then emailed to the voter to print off and mail in.

Danny Turkel, the communications manager for Voto Latino, said the group has actually seen a surge in voter registration, especially since protests in response to the killing of George Floyd began. “Our original goal entering 2020 was to register 500,000 voters,” said Turkel. “As the numbers have come in and surged, we are now thinking that we could surpass 500,000.”

So what kind of people might have registered if the coronavirus hadn’t struck? Well for one thing, they’re probably disproportionately young. “In any given year, far more young people register than older people, just because 18-year-olds age in [to being able to vote] and young people are more likely to move” and need to register at a new address, said Kevin Morris, a quantitative researcher focusing on voting rights and elections at the Brennan Center. According to Morris’s data, 57 percent of new registrants in Florida in the first four months of 2016 were under the age of 40, as were 65 percent of new registrants in Georgia. While the proportions were similar in the beginning of 2020, the total number was much lower than in the past, which means that lots of young people aren’t registering as usual in at least two key 2020 swing states.

Some of these delayed registrants may never end up registering at all. Though we don’t have data for how a pandemic has affected registration in the past (since the U.S. hasn’t faced a similar situation for a good century), Weiser cited another instance when voter registration dipped due to extenuating circumstances. In May of 2011, Florida passed a new bill that placed tough restrictions on third-party voter registration organizations, prompting many of them, such as the League of Women Voters, to stop operating in the state. The restrictions were suspended by a judge in May 20125 but the damage had been done; a subsequent study found that about 14 percent fewer voters registered in 2011 compared to the same period in 2007, with a notable drop following the introduction of the bill — and those registrations never completely caught up. In 2008, more than 1 million new voters registered in Florida. In 2012, fewer than 900,000 did, according to the state’s voter registration data.

Of course, one unusual law in Florida isn’t exactly analogous to a pandemic, and it’s possible that the high level of enthusiasm for this election will be enough to close the gap that COVID-19 created, especially as states begin to reopen and voters return to registration sites like the DMV. So it’s difficult to know whether this drop in registrations is permanent. But it is clear that despite voters’ intense interest in this election, the coronavirus has already made it harder for new voters to participate in it.

[atc74]

Monkey See, Monkey Do - Chapter Nine

Square Filled: Begging

Warnings: Polyamory, Sex club, nipple play,  begging, teasing, public sex, exhibitionism, voyeurism, anal play, dirty talk, use of restraints, bondage equipment (bed/straps),  Dom!Dean, Sub!Sam, Sub!Reader, Dom!Sam, Sub!Dean,(it’ll make sense) bi!Sam, bi!Dean. All play is consensual in this established poly relationship.

Summary:  Dean Smith is in a committed relationship with his two best friends. They give him all he could ever want. But sometimes, he wants a little more than he knows how to ask for. His two lovers surprise him with a night out for his 40th birthday, bringing his fantasies to life.

Pairing: Dean Smith x Reader x Sam Wesson

Word Count: 568

Written for: @spnkinkbingo

Beta’d by: @just-another-busy-fangirl, my bingo dealer and kink guru, and @hannahindie, my constant cheerleader and forever ally. I don’t know what I would do without either of you.

A/N: We’re almost to the end of this kinky adventure. If you’ve read this far, thank you, thank you, thank you for staying with me! Tomorrow is our baby’s birthday!

Monkey See, Monkey Do Master List

Dean took his time with her. Using her own slick as lubrication, he pressed his finger inside her tight asshole, prepping it for what he really wanted later. He put more pressure against it and pushed his way inside, thrusting in and out. She was so fucking wet he didn't even need lube as he added a finger.

“Dean, please, please, I need you,” she pleaded, her mouth free for a moment.

“What do you want, baby?” Dean prompted her as he continued finger fucking her ass.

“I want you. I want Sam. I want you both,” she cried. “Please.”

“Eager aren’t we?” Dean tsked. He knew he was pushing the limits of her sub role play. Hell, he was pushing his own limits of the dominant personality he enjoyed playing once or twice a year. After so many years running sales teams, he usually enjoyed not being in charge of everything in bed all the time.

“Yes! Oh God, I want you both so bad,” she whimpered. “Please someone fuck me!”

“Sam, that’s enough for now,” Dean told him and Sam unfolded himself from her chest. “Please release her.” Dean removed his fingers from her, hearing her moan at the empty feeling as he did.

Sam quickly unhooked the restraints, releasing Y/N. “What now, sir? Would you like me to please you?”

“No, no. I think I’m done here, Sammy. I need you. Come here, please,” Dean murmured and slid to the edge of the bed, Sam standing before him and Dean reached for him. “I want to taste you.”

“Dean, this night is all about you,” Sam stopped him.

“And while I appreciate everything you have done, this is what I want. I love that you both are willing to do this for me. But what I love most is the pleasure we give each other, not just want you give me,” Dean explained. “Please, Sam, let me suck your cock.”

“As you wish. You know I love it when you beg for my cock. Suck,” Sam commanded and Dean leaned forward, wrapping his lips around Sam’s thick length.

Y/N came to stop next to them, dropping to her knees. She joined Dean in sucking Sam off, their tongues tangling along his hard shaft. She dropped her head a bit and licked at his sack. Dean hollowed his cheeks and applied the perfect amount of suction as he pulled back.

The only sounds filling their room was the wet slip and slide of Sam’s cock in Dean and Y/N’s mouth and the moans falling from Sam’s lips. He knew he wanted more and stopped Dean before he took him farther, squeezing the base of his cock.

“Turn on all the lights and open both curtains, Y/N,” Sam told her. She scrambled to her feet and pressed the correct buttons on the remote. The curtains on either side of the room opened and revealed the two other rooms.

On one side, there was a couple in a sex swing. The woman’s mouth wide open as he pounded into her. On the other side of the room, there was a room of scantily clad performers that Y/N recognized from before in the main play stage. They were seated all over the room, about six or seven of them. She gave them a quick wink and returned to the bed to join her boyfriends.

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @closetspngirl @emoryhemsworth  @meganwinchester1999 @sis-tafics @wilde-abandon @wegoddessofhell @holyfuckloueh @horsegirly99 @smoothdogsgirl @dolphincliffs @thisismysecrethappyplace @neeadinghugs @roxyspearing @theoriginalvicki @andkatiethings @mrswhozeewhatsis @just-another-busy-fangirl @linki-locks11 @evansrogerskitten @hennessy0274-blog @hobby27 @kdfrqqg @gh0stgurl @charliebradbury1104 @blacktithe7 @the--blackdahlia @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @roseblue373 @hannahindie @pinknerdpanda @cherrycokegirls1 @mogaruke @kickingitwithkirk @wotinspntarnation

The Dean’s List: @supernatural-jackles @dean-winchesters-bacon @docharleythegeekqueen @maddiepants @squirrel-moose-winchester @amanda-teaches @thing-you-do-with-that-thing @adoptdontshoppets @wingedcatninja  @akshi8278 @kathaswings @deansgirl215 @x-waywardaf-x  @elara98azalea @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @pretty-fortune​  @deanwinchesterwitch​

The Sam Sin-dicate: @supernatural-jackles  @squirrel-moose-winchester @amanda-teaches @deansgirl215 @x-waywardaf-x  @pretty-fortune @team-free-will-you-idjits-67

MSMD: @maximumkillshot​  @fake-blue-flowers​ @nevaeh-potter15​ @shaelyn102​ @wayward-and-worn​ @saxxxology​ @gr4v3y4rdg1rl​ @deansgirl79​  @katehuntington​ @allonsy-yesiwill​  @babypink224221​ @slut-for-jared​ @fanfictionjunkie1112​ @ellallheart​

[mynamehan]

Confessions to make/In your drunken state - Steve Rogers imagine

...

request: #16 and #19 for Steve Rogers please! thanks!

A/N: fluff, and just a tad bit of angst

warnings: nah mate, just reader being drunk and some light steam ;)

word count: 1331

paring: Steve Rogers x Reader

summary: After having one drink too many, reader spills the tea on their love for Mr. Captain America. At the same time the Captain himself tries his best to do the opposite.

...

”HAPPY BIRTHDAY TONY!” some random girl half his age exclaimed as she threw herself around said man’s neck. He only chuckled as a reply before raising his hand that held a drink and taking a sip from it. Steve shook his head at the playboy millionaire and looked down at the barely drunken liquid in his own glass. He didn’t like the taste of it and since the super serum running through his veins prevented him from getting drunk, it was pretty much just useless. He sighed before placing the glass down on the table he was standing by and looked around. Tony never went easy on parties, especially not birthdays, and most definitely not his own. 

The pounding music interrupted most of his thoughts but one was still very much prominent and so it had been for a couple of months now. You. He wanted to tell you how you made him feel for so long now but he could never actually get himself to do it. Funny huh, how he could go through a war and still not have enough courage to ask you out. There was just something about you, something timeless and breathtaking that made Steve act like a fool around you, which was a big no-no while being on missions saving the world together and during times where he had to stay focused and alert. You messed that up for him and instead of being the well-oiled super soldier that he was, he became this soft, gentle, goof around you. 

He pretty much had the hots for you, bad. And everyone except you seemed to know about it. He refused to do anything about it though. Telling you about his feelings was probably one of the scariest things he could do. What if you turned him down, or even worse; if you said yes and dated for a while just to break up and ruin the entire dynamic in the Avengers group! No, as the considered leader he couldn’t do such a possibly devastating thing. He shook of the warm and fuzzy but also slightly anxious feeling he got from thinking of you. Steve furrowed his brows as he scanned the room over, he didn’t enjoy parties much and had just been standing in a corner for most of it anyways. Sure, it was Tony’s birthday and all, but at least he went and stayed just long enough for the cake, and that was good enough Steve thought. 

He swiftly made his way through the big crowd trying to avoid bumping into people or getting their drinks spilled on him. “Steven!” A voice that sent goosebumps all over his body called out for him and he stopped in his tracks as a hand softly grabbed his arm, pulling him a bit to the side. Steve swallowed as Y/N smiled directly at him, still holding his arm in a loose grip with one hand and a drink in the other. “Are you okay?” she asked, obviously a bit dazed from the alcohol, eyes blinking slower than usual. He analyzed her face quickly as he gave her a light smile to which she returned, “I’m fine I just...” 

“Not a big fan of crowds?” she finished for him. He broke the eye contact and looked around the room, straightening his back and tilting his chin up a tad higher, “You could say that.” Y/N gently nodded, swaying along to the beat of the music. “You seem tense Steven,” she mumbled, “Here, let me just-” she leaned towards him in the tiniest bit but the alcohol in her blood made her almost trip over her own feet. Steve’s arms locked around her shoulders in an instant and she shook her head slightly at the inconvenience. “Whoa there Y/N, you’re very drunk...” he said, voice traced with a hint of worry as he looked her over, to which she only grinned and replied, “And you, sir, you’re very attractive.” 

His eyes widened as they met her gaze, a pink blush creeping up his neck. He cleared his throat and put one of his arms to support her, “I think you should go back home and rest, ya know, sleep off this rush. C’mon, I’ll walk back with you...” During missions Y/N was always a badass, coldhearted while necessary and warmhearted when she wanted to. She was always able to keep her head cool and mind sharp under pressure, taking control when it was needed. She was a great fighter in every way and maybe that’s why Steve felt so attracted to her, not just physically but emotionally. They were both great at keeping their feelings hidden which perhaps just made it even harder for both of them to confess how they actually felt for each other. 

Y/N let out a weak groan and put her hands on his chest, pushing him back in the slightest. “Nope, I’m not done partying, I want to dance and I think you should too. Let loose Steven, it’s your day off.”  He gave her a quick smile as she continued using his full name, which he disliked whenever it came from anyone but her and regained eye contact. She pouted her lips at him making something in his stomach do flips. He knew what Bucky would’ve said if he saw this; god, when did he get so soft? “Pleeease.” she begged before quickly adding, “Steve, stay with me.” in a more serious tone upon seeing the look of hesitation still on his face. 

For a second, Steve thought the dazed, foggy look in Y/N’s beautifully colored eyes was gone and back in their normal state. Was she not as drunk as he thought? This caught him off guard which Y/N took advantage off. She pulled him by the arm a bit further away from the crowd and looked him dead serious in the eye. “There’s something I need to tell you.” “Y/N you’re drunk.” “I am still sober enough to do this.” she leaned closer to him, letting her hand graze his jaw as their lips softly touched. Bliss was the only word in Steve’s mind that was even close to describing the feeling she gave him, but he quickly realized that she wasn’t in a right state of mind to do such a thing. 

He pulled away reluctantly making her frown. “Oh, were you not feeling that? Crap, sorry-”. “No! No, it’s not that, I just, umm. I can’t let you do this in your drunken state... It’s not right or good for either of us... Here, let me take you home and-” She cut him off before he could continue, “Steve, no. Look, the only reason I came to this party was to talk to you about us, this.” she did a vague gesture with her hands to amplify, “And to celebrate Tony’s third 40th birthday of course.. Aaand maybe have a few drinks...” she shook her head slightly as she sidetracked, ”But the very reason why I got myself tipsy was so I could talk to you without having to worry about my guards being up.” 

Steve furrowed his brows slightly, an action that he often did subconsciously. “And I was kinda hoping that you were here to do the same thing.” she continued. He smiled and let out a breath he didn’t know he held, “I would but drinks don’t really have an effect on me and I just couldn’t get myself to talk to you about how I’m feeling, but now seeing that the feeling is mutual, I guess I do have some confessions to make..” Y/N smiled, lightly biting her lip. “Well then, I would love to hear them.” He gave her a half-sided smile, shifting in his stance. “Would you mind if I stayed with you for the rest of the evening?” “I’d like that very much Captain...” she replied with a flirtatious voice. “Now,” she quickly glanced around her as another song came on and started moving to the beat, slowly backing away from him with a glimpse in her eye Steve could’ve sworn hadn’t been there before, “I hope you dance.”

...

A/N: REQUESTS ARE OPEN AND ALIVE PEOPLE SO GET TO IT, THERE’S A PROMPT LIST SO GO FIND IT

[sportarobbie-shorties]

XL - Think Think

Sportarobbie Fanfiction - The 40th Shortie

Based On A Prompt

Warnings: None :)

Summary: Valentine’s Day is coming up. This will be Robbie’s and Sportacus’s first Valentine’s Day together, but Sportacus has no idea what to do for Robbie, so Stephanie is there to help.

“Hey, Sportacus! You wanted to see me?” Stephanie almost scares Sportacus as she skips over to him out of nowhere. “Oh, yes. Uh well, Valentine’s Day is coming up soon...” Stephanie nods: “Yeah, I’ve started making cards for everyone already.” Sportacus smiles at her and continues: “And since it’s the first Valentine’s Day Robbie and I are spending together, I want it to be special. But I just don’t know what to get for him.” Stephanie smiles. This is possibly the best thing she could imagine helping Sportacus with.

Stephanie takes Sportacus to her uncle’s place to think. They sit around in the kitchen, trying to come up with ideas. “Well, the easy choice would be flowers.” Sportacus sighs: “I don’t know... Robbie might think it’s a little cliché, wouldn’t he?” “Chocolate?” “He has enough of that already”, he chuckles.

Time passes and they can’t come up with anything. Stephanie sighs and swings her legs back and forth. “Could you make something for him?” “I mean... I could - if I knew what.” Stephanie really starts thinking now. “Is there something that he’s been saying that he wants?” Sportacus thinks for a moment, but then shakes his head. “Anything you know he needs, but doesn’t have?” Sportacus stays silent and then gets a wide grin on his face. “I have a perfect idea! Can I use your club house, until it’s done?”

Stephanie gets to observe how the gift is getting along. It takes a lot of time and effort, but luckily Sportacus is definitely a handyman. “Can you give me the hammer, please?” Stephanie does as told, and watches how carefully and skillfully Sportacus works with the wood. “Are you sure this will be big enough? I mean, he is pretty tall...” Sportacus smiles: “Trust me, I know exactly what I’m doing.”

[friskynotebook]

'Cause All That You Are is All That I'll Ever Need: A Carrison Fanfic

So. I was planning on doing a mini-writing spree inspired by Carrie Fisher’s The Princess Diarist (and I’ll still be writing all of them, don’t worry), but life got in the way, and it ended up taking me almost two months to write this.

I was actually planning on finishing this before Christmas, but with Carrie’s and Debbie’s deaths, my motivation just wasn’t there. But I’m not letting the plausible verse die, and don’t worry—Carrie and Debbie don’t die in this universe. They aren’t going anywhere anytime soon.

The prompts for this fic were, “Happy 40th anniversary, sweetheart” and “He gives her the gold band with diamonds.”

It’s set in my plausible verse (duh), where Harrison and Carrie slowly fall in love after his divorce from Melissa. This takes place in May 2016, right after Carrie comes back from Cannes. There’s not much you need to know, but if it helps, they married in spring 2011 (exact date TBD). Also in this verse, the child Carrie miscarried in the 1980s was Harrison’s, and there is a passing mention of it in this fic.

The title for this fic comes from the Ed Sheeran song “Tenerife Sea,” off his album “x.” You can listen to it here.

Special thanks to @hewouldve for her excellent beta skills and @thecarrisonfiles and @titasjournal for their support. Shoutout to the Slack fam for the general handholding.

This is RPF, and I don’t mean to offend anyone with this story.

Finally, I own nothing. Nothing. You don’t want to see what number shows up in my bank account. If anyone wants money from me, I’ll help you look for it because ya girl needs to buy groceries.

Without further ado, on with the show!

Harrison climbed up the stairs, carrying a tray of saltines, ginger ale, and ginger tea. He sighed as he reached the top step. This is not how I thought we would spend our anniversary.

He was exhausted, but whatever he felt was nothing compared to what his wife must be feeling—she’d been awake for half the night throwing up whatever was in her stomach and then some. Every hour like clockwork, Carrie would rush to the bathroom and violently cough into the cool porcelain toilet—even if nothing came out, she dry-heaved until her body simply exhausted itself.

And every time she had to go, Harrison (and Gary) would run right after her, kneeling down on the cold tiles beside her, holding back her hair, rubbing her back in soothing strokes. When she’d stop, he’d carry her to the sink, sit her on the counter, and press a cold cloth to her forehead while he brushed her teeth. Then he’d carry her back to bed and hold her, Gary pressed between them, as she fell into a fitful, moan-filled sleep until the whole cycle started again.

Now, finally, she seemed to be on the mend. Earlier that morning, she’d thrown up for the last time—vile, bitter-tasting medicine—and quickly fell back asleep when he carried her back to their bed. She woke up a few hours later, woozy and lightheaded, and Harrison figured she was ready to try eating and drinking.

Harrison turned his body and gently nudged the door open, walking into their bedroom and placing the tray on Carrie’s nightstand.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he murmured, kneeling down beside the bed. “You ready to eat something?”

She turned her bleary-eyed gaze towards him, smiling softly. “Okay,” she replied.

He helped her into a sitting position and placed the tray on her lap. Before he moved to his side of the bed, he kissed her forehead. Her fever seems to be breaking.

Carrie nibbled on a cracker. “Thank you, baby,” she mumbled, absently petting Gary as he lay beside her.

“Of course, honey.” He crawled into the bed. “Have a little ginger ale,” he coaxed.

She finished her cracker and took a sip of ginger ale.

“How are you feeling?” he asked.

She swallowed. “A little better. Tired. My head hurts.”

He ran his hand along her thigh. “If you can keep the crackers down, I’ll get you some aspirin,” he promised.

She gave him a small smile and reached for another cracker. “Okay,” she agreed.

Harrison watched her as she ate, ready to help her to the bathroom if her stomach protested the crackers.

Carrie caught his glance. “I’m fine, sweetheart. My stomach’s settling,” she reassured him.

He blushed, turning his gaze away. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be. I like it when you take care of me,” she confided, nibbling on the cracker.

“Good, because I don’t know what I’d do if you didn’t let me look after you,” he replied, a wry grin crossing his face.

She returned his smile. “You’d probably go crazy,” she chuckled lightly, finishing the cracker and reaching for a third.

He pressed his lips to her temple, gently stroking her skin while she chewed on the cracker.

“I’m sorry about this,” she murmured, swallowing her food.

“Sorry about what?” he questioned.

“Being sick, ruining our anniversary.” Carrie took a sip of ginger ale, not looking at her husband.

Harrison brought a long finger to her chin and turned her head to face him. “Sweetheart, you’re not ruining anything.”

“Neither one of us has slept and you’re exhausting yourself looking after me,” she rambled, her eyes wide.

“Baby, I like taking care of you,” he said softly, a small smile on his face. “If you weren’t sick, this would be the best anniversary we’ve ever had: me at your beck and call, you resting in bed all day.”

Her lips quirked upwards. “Still, I wish we could have done what we planned—walking around Larchmont Village and dinner at some hole in the wall Italian place . . .”

“We can do all that when you’re better,” he replied. “They’ll still be there when you don’t feel so awful.”

Carrie leaned forward and kissed his nose. “I love you.”

Harrison pressed his lips to her mouth. “I love you more,” he rumbled, pulling away. “I should get that aspirin for you.”

She squeezed his hand as he crawled out of bed. “Thank you.”

“Of course,” he smiled, escaping to their bathroom. He went to the medicine cabinet and quickly located the right bottle, frowning when he heard rustling from their bedroom.

“Carrie, are you alright?” he asked, stepping back into the room to find his wife bending over her side of the bed.

She turned back around, hiding a box behind her back. “Yeah, I am, honey—just getting your present out.”

He crawled back into bed with the pills. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to do that today.”

Gary’s butt pressed against Harrison’s arm as he sniffed the box behind Carrie’s back. “I want to,” she insisted. “Let’s salvage the day somehow.”

“But I won’t have anything to give you when we do celebrate,” he returned.

“Then buy me something else,” she teased, her eyes sparkling.

He grinned, kissing her forehead. “You’re not letting this go, are you?”

She smirked, pulling Gary away from the box and settling him in her lap. “Nope.”

Harrison snorted. “If you insist.” He went to his underwear drawer and pulled out a small box, hiding it in his pajama bottoms pocket.

“Open mine first!” she insisted as he crawled back into bed.

He turned to her with a small smile. “Hand it over, Fisher,” he rumbled.

Carrie gave him a long, slim jewelry box with a red ribbon wrapped around it. “Happy anniversary, baby.”

He untied the ribbon and gasped as he lifted the lid. Two sterling silver dog tags caught the light, showing off the engraved messages. The first tag had “Carrie & Harrison 1976” written in cursive writing, but it was the second tag that brought tears to his eyes. He ran a long finger over the engraving—the first initials of their children in the order they were born, with “unborn child” written below.

“Carrie,” he choked out, his eyes shining brightly. “Carrie.”

“You like them?” she asked softly.

He shifted himself to face her, then carefully pulled her into his arms, kissing her softly. “Sweetheart, I couldn’t love them more if I tried.”

She smiled against his mouth. “I wasn’t sure what you’d think about the . . . kids one.”

His lips brushed her temple. “It’s perfect,��� he whispered, tears slipping down his cheeks. “I’ll have them with me, always.”

Carrie pulled back, gingerly wiping his cheeks. “Good,” she breathed, unable to say more.

“Thank you so much,” he sniffled.

She moved forward to kiss the corner of his mouth. “You’re welcome.” She cleared her throat. “My turn?”

Harrison moved back to his side of the bed and slipped on the dog tags, taking a moment to run his thumb over the engravings. He reached into his pocket, pulling the box out and handing it to her.

Carrie sat up and grinned, practically bouncing in the bed as she opened the box. Gary climbed closer to her, sniffing what she had in her hand.

“Harrison,” she breathed. Inside the box was a rose gold band with diamonds encrusted in the Greek key design. She ran her finger lightly over the design, almost as if she was afraid to damage it. “Honey, this is gorgeous.”

“Take it out,” he encouraged, stroking her thigh.

She turned to him and raised an eyebrow, removing the ring from the box. Inspecting it in the light, she saw the engraving, her breath catching in her throat.

“What does it say?” he rumbled, nervous for her reaction.

“Carrison,” she choked, tears springing to her eyes. “You engraved it with Carrison.”

“It’s the right one, right?” he asked. “I wrote it down when you showed me the final draft of your book, but I wasn’t sure—”

She leaned forward and pressed her lips to his, cutting him off. “It’s perfect,” she whispered, repeating his words from earlier. “I’ll wear it every day.”

“You don’t have to . . .”

“I want to,” she insisted, placing it on her right hand ring finger.

He cupped her cheek and kissed her again. “I love you so much.”

“I’ll always love you more,” she teased, smiling. “And I’m always right.”

He barked out a laugh. “Yes, you are.”

She pulled them both back against the bed, pushing aside the boxes as they rested in each other’s arms, her head against his chest. “Thank you, baby.”

“You’re welcome,” he rumbled as Gary flopped on his legs.

“Not just for the ring,” Carrie clarified. “For the past forty years.”

He squirmed a little. “I’m sure they weren’t all that great for you. I could have treated you better.”

“Stop that,” she gently insisted. “You always did the best you could—and you never intentionally hurt me or anyone else.”

Harrison knew they’d been over this countless times before, but it weighed on him with their anniversary. “I wish you never had to hurt at all.”

“Shut up,” she growled playfully. “I don’t regret any of it. I wouldn’t trade these forty years for the world.”

He smiled softly, reassured for the time being.

“Well,” she hedged, “if you really want to make things up to me . . .”

Harrison raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“We could watch some of the Real Housewives,” she grinned.

He chuckled and reached for the remote. “Sure, sweetheart.”

She turned on the TV. “Smart man.”

He snorted. “If Mama’s not happy, nobody’s happy.”

[judefan837-blog]

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[kuyarexdelsdiaries]

FOREIGNER: THE JUKEBOX HEROES FROM BOTH SIDES OF THE ATLANTIC

There was a band which was formed by a British Guitarist and an American lead singer which scored a lot of hits including a #1 Power Ballad in the 1980s a band is called "FOREIGNER". Lou Gramm era (1976-1990) Since its beginning, Foreigner has been led by English musician Mick Jones (former member of Nero and the Gladiators, Johnny Hallyday's band, Spooky Tooth and The Leslie West Band). After the collapse of the Leslie West Band in 1976, Jones found himself stranded in New York City; West's manager, Bud Prager, encouraged Jones to continue his songwriting and rehearse a band of his own in some space Prager had near his New York office. Jones got together with New York keyboardist Al Greenwood (who had just played with former Flash members Colin Carter and Mike Hough in a group called Storm), drummer Stan Williams and Louisiana bassist Jay Davis (later with Rod Stewart) and began jamming. Another friend, Stories singer Ian Lloyd, was brought in to sing but Jones decided the chemistry was not quite right and retained only Greenwood as he renewed his search for players. During a session for Ian Lloyd's album, Jones met up with transplanted Englishman and ex-King Crimson member Ian McDonald and another session for Ian Hunter unearthed another fellow Brit in drummer Dennis Elliott. But after auditioning about forty or fifty singers, the right vocalist was becoming harder to come by until Jones dragged out an old Black Sheep album given to him backstage at a Spooky Tooth concert a few years prior by that group's lead singer, Lou Gramm. Jones put in a call to Gramm, who was back in his hometown of Rochester, New York after Black Sheep's break-up, and sent him a plane ticket to New York City. Gramm proved to be the missing piece of the puzzle and Brooklyn, New York bassist Ed Gagliardi completed the new sextet. A name, "Trigger", was tentatively agreed to and was the name that appeared on their demo tape, but it was passed on by all the record companies it was delivered to. John Kalodner, a former journalist and radio programmer who was working in A&R at Atlantic Records, happened to spot a tape on Atlantic president Jerry L. Greenberg's desk with the Trigger identification on it. Kalodner had just been to hear an outfit called Trigger and realized that this was not the same band. He convinced Greenberg that at least one of the songs on the tape could be a big hit and to look into signing this group immediately. Because the Trigger name was already taken, Jones came up with the Foreigner moniker from the fact that no matter what country they were in, three would be foreigners, because Jones, McDonald and Elliott were British, while Gramm, Greenwood and Gagliardi were American. In November 1976, after six months of rehearsals, the newly named Foreigner started recording their debut album with producers John Sinclair and Gary Lyons at The Hit Factory but switched to Atlantic Recording Studios where they finished recording the basic tracks and completed the overdubs. The first attempt at mixing the album was done at Sarm Studios, London. But, because of the band's dissatisfaction with the results, the album was re-mixed back at Atlantic by Mick Jones, Ian McDonald and Jimmy Douglass. Bud Prager signed on as the group's manager, a role he would continue in for the next 17 years. The band's debut, Foreigner, was released in February 1977 and sold more than four million copies in the United States, staying in the Top 20 for a year with such hits as "Feels Like the First Time", "Cold as Ice" and "Long, Long Way from Home". By May 1977, Foreigner was already headlining theaters and had already scored a gold record for the first album. Not long afterwards, they were selling out U.S. basketball arenas and hockey rinks. After a show at Memorial Hall in Kansas City, Kansas on May 6, 1977, drummer Elliott injured his hand, prompting the band to call in Ian Wallace (ex-King Crimson) to play alongside Elliott on some of the dates until the hand was healed. After almost a year on the road, the band played before over two hundred thousand people at California Jam II on March 18, 1978 and during the following month, the band toured Europe, Japan and Australia for the first time. Their second album, Double Vision (released in June 1978), co-produced by Keith Olsen, topped their previous, selling five million records and spawned hits in "Hot Blooded", the title track "Double Vision" and "Blue Morning, Blue Day". The third album, Head Games (September 1979), co-produced by Roy Thomas Baker, which was referred to by Gramm as their "grainiest" album, was also successful because of the thunderous "Dirty White Boy" and another title track hit "Head Games". For Head Games, bassist Ed Gagliardi was replaced by Englishman Rick Wills. In his autobiography, Juke Box Hero (named after the seminal Foreigner song), Gramm explains why the band parted ways with Gagliardi: "He was a little headstrong and had his own ideas that weren't always compatible with what we were trying to accomplish. Ed was obstinate at times, playing the song the way he wanted to play it rather than the way it was drawn up. Jones often had to stop sessions to get Ed back on track. After a while it became tiresome and slowed down the recording process." Gramm went on to say that he was disappointed overall with Head Games and thought it sounded unfinished. It ended up selling about two million fewer than its predecessor. In September 1980 co-founders Al Greenwood and Ian McDonald were sacked as Jones wished to have more control over the band and write most of the music (along with Gramm). In his book, Gramm goes on to talk about this difficult time: "The chemistry that made the band right in the beginning didn't necessarily mean it would always be right. I think a pretty major communication lapse appeared and I don't think anybody really knew what anybody was feeling—the deep, inner belief about the direction of the band and how we were progressing. We had reached a point where there was a lot of dissatisfaction". The band was now stripped down to a quartet, with session players brought in as needed to record or tour (see below for complete list of members). Greenwood soon joined Gagliardi to form the AOR band Spys, with John Blanco, Billy Milne and John DiGaudio. The band released two albums, an eponymous debut, and the follow-up Behind Enemy Lines. In the meantime, Foreigner began work on the next album at Electric Lady Studios in New York City with producer Robert John "Mutt" Lange, engineered by Dave Wittman (currently with Trans-Siberian Orchestra). 4 (released in July 1981) contained the hits "Urgent" (which includes the famous Junior Walker sax solo), "Waiting for a Girl Like You", "Juke Box Hero" and "Break it Up". Before releasing albums of his own, Thomas Dolby played synthesizers on 4 (he contributed the signature synth sound on "Urgent" and played the intro to "Waiting for a Girl Like You"). For their 1981–82 tour in support of 4, the group added Peter Reilich (keyboards, synthesizers, who had played with Gary Wright), former Peter Frampton band member Bob Mayo (keyboards, synthesizers, guitar, backing vocals) and Mark Rivera (sax, flute, keyboards, synthesizers, guitar, backing vocals). Mayo and Rivera had also appeared on the sessions for 4. Reilich was dropped in May 1982 but Mayo and Rivera continued with the band through 1988. Their next album, Agent Provocateur, co-produced by Alex Sadkin, was released successfully in December 1984 and gave them their first and only No. 1 hit in 1985 (in the US, UK, Australia, Norway, Sweden, etc.), "I Want to Know What Love Is", a ballad backed by Jennifer Holliday and the New Jersey Mass Choir. The song was their biggest U.S. hit. "That Was Yesterday" was the next single from the album in early 1985 and proved to be another sizable hit. During their 1985 summer/fall tour, Foreigner appeared at the very first Farm Aid on September 22 in Champaign, Illinois. In between his Foreigner commitments, Jones also started a side career as a producer for such albums as Van Halen's 5150 (1986), Bad Company's Fame and Fortune (1986) and Billy Joel's Storm Front (1989). In December 1987 Foreigner released Inside Information, spawning hits such as "Say You Will" and "I Don't Want to Live Without You". On May 14, 1988 the band headlined Atlantic Records 40th Anniversary concert at Madison Square Garden, culminating with "I Want to Know What Love Is", in which the likes of Phil Collins, Crosby, Stills and Nash, Roberta Flack and other Atlantic artists joined in, singing in the choir. Later during the summer, the band went back on the road but the touring for Inside Information was limited to Europe, Japan and Australia. For this tour, Rivera and Mayo were not available, so Larry Oakes (guitar, keyboards, synthesizers, backing vocals) and Lou Cortelezzi (sax) augmented the quartet of Gramm, Jones, Elliott and Wills. Lou Gramm's first departure (1990-1992) In the late 1980s, Jones and Gramm each put out solo efforts on Atlantic. Gramm released Ready or Not in January 1987 and shortly after its release, rehearsals for Foreigner's next album had started but ground to a halt as Gramm's status with the group was uncertain. But after the promotion and concert dates for Gramm's album were finished, cooler heads prevailed and Lou rejoined Foreigner in the studio for Inside Information, which was out at the end of 1987. Jones had Mick Jones in August 1989, then Gramm followed with his second solo release, Long Hard Look (October 1989), and decided to leave the group in May 1990 while preparing to tour behind Long Hard Look as the opener for Steve Miller Band. After finishing this tour, Gramm went on to form the short-lived band Shadow King, which put out one eponymous album on Atlantic in October 1991. Meanwhile, Jones brought in a new lead singer, Johnny Edwards (formerly of the bands Buster Brown, Montrose, King Kobra, Northrup and Wild Horses). Edwards made his first live appearance with Foreigner at the Long Island club Stephen Talkhouse on August 15, 1990, where he, Jones, Dennis Elliott and Rick Wills appeared, joined by special guests Terry Thomas (on guitar, who produced their next album) and Eddie Mack on harmonica. The new edition of Foreigner released the album Unusual Heat in June 1991. This was at the time their worst-selling album and only climbed as high as No. 117 on the Billboard 200, although "Lowdown and Dirty" was a minor mainstream rock hit, reaching No. 4 on that chart. In July 1991 the new lineup of Foreigner played some European dates then made its official U.S. debut on August 9 performing on the second night of a Billy Joel benefit concert at Deep Hollow Ranch in Montauk, New York to raise funds for the preservation of Montauk Point Lighthouse. For their 1991 tour, Jeff Jacobs, who had played in Joel's band, was brought in as the new keyboardist and Mark Rivera returned. But during the fall leg of this tour, Elliott decided to leave the group after a concert at The Ritz in NYC on November 14, 1991 and embark on a career as a wood sculptor. Larry Aberman was then recruited as a temporary replacement until Mark Schulman arrived in 1992 to hold down the drum throne for the next three years. Scott Gilman (guitar, sax, flute) joined the touring band in 1992 and Thom Gimbel took over from Gilman and Rivera in late 1992 after they departed. When Gimbel went to Aerosmith in 1993, Gilman returned to handle the guitar/sax/flute duties until Gimbel came back permanently in the spring of 1995. Gramm returns then leaves again (1992-2003) During the Los Angeles riots, inside the confines of the Sunset Marquis Hotel in West Hollywood, where Mick Jones had gone to meet with Lou Gramm, they both ended up sequestered by a city curfew. They decided to use their time together resurrecting their partnership. "I flew to Los Angeles, during the riots," says Gramm. "We got flown to John Wayne Airport instead of LAX because they were shooting at the planes. Mick and I were holed up in the Sunset Marquis in L.A., with armed security guards walking around on the roof. It was a little weird, to say the least." Gramm ended up rejoining Foreigner (bringing along his Shadow King bandmate bassist Bruce Turgon, replacing bassist Wills (who'd left after the band's 1991 tour after a falling out with Jones) and co-produced the band's second greatest hits album, The Very Best ... and Beyond (September 1992), which included three new songs. In October 1994 Foreigner released what was supposed to be a comeback album, Mr. Moonlight, in Japan. Featuring new drummer Mark Schulman and augmented by a fifth member, keyboardist Jeff Jacobs, this album was not released in the U.S. until February 1995 and fared even worse than Unusual Heat. It only peaked at No. 136 on the Billboard 200, although the ballad "Until the End of Time" was a minor hit, reaching No. 42 on the Billboard Hot 100. In January 1995 Ron Wikso (who had played in The Storm with former Journey members Gregg Rolie and Ross Valory) took over percussion duties from Schulman, and Brian Tichy succeeded Wikso in 1998 before Schulman would return in 2000. In 1997 Gramm underwent surgery to remove a brain tumor. The medications he was prescribed caused considerable weight gain and weakened his singing voice. By 1998, the band was back on the road, but Gramm was visibly struggling and it would take him a decade to get back to the point where he felt comfortable on stage. In the summer of 1999, Foreigner went on tour as the opening act for Journey and the following summer, Jeff Jacobs had to leave the road for a short time during the band's 2000 summer tour while his wife was giving birth to their child. Keyboardist John Purdell (who had been co-producer of the new tracks on their 1992 album The Very Best of ... and Beyond) stepped in to sub for Jacobs until he was able to return. In 2001 the Warner Music Group selected Foreigner and 4 to be among the first group of albums from their catalog to be remastered, enhanced and released in the new DVD Audio format. In 2002 the 25th Anniversary Year brought affirmation of the enduring respect for Foreigner recordings with Rhino Entertainment reissuing the 1977 to 1981 multi-platinum albums in special enhanced formats. Foreigner, Double Vision, Head Games and 4 received the attention of Rhino's staff with new photos, liner notes and bonus tracks of previously unreleased material. New greatest hits albums were also produced in the U.S. and in Europe. The U.S. version reached No. 80 on the Billboard 200 Album chart. For the group's 25th Anniversary Tour in 2002, they were joined by former Heart and Montrose beat keeper Denny Carmassi. In late October/early November, then December, of 2002, Foreigner played in Belgium and Germany at the annual Night of the Proms festival. It was the last time that Lou Gramm and Mick Jones would play together until June 2013. Gramm would leave the group in early 2003. Jones stated that he and Gramm split because they weren't communicating: "I think we really tried hard to save it, but it got to the point when we both realized that to go on would be detrimental for both of us." Kelly Hansen era (2004-Present) Jones, the founder and only remaining original member of Foreigner, decided to take some time off before looking to form a new lineup in 2004. On July 25, 2004 in Santa Barbara, California at Fess Parker's DoubleTree Resort, Jones appeared at a benefit show for muscular dystrophy dubbed "Mick Jones & Friends" that included: Jeff Jacobs, Thom Gimbel, former Dokken bass player Jeff Pilson, future Black Country Communion drummer Jason Bonham (son of Led Zeppelin drummer John Bonham and leader of Bonham) and Bonham singer Chas West. West was front man for that show only. Inspired by the event and further encouraged by Jason Bonham, Jones continued the search for a new frontman. He would eventually find former Hurricane singer Kelly Hansen, who had sent the band an audition tape and was invited aboard in March 2005, making his debut with the group on March 11 at Boulder Station near Las Vegas. Their 2005 BMG album, Extended Versions, featured the new line-up playing all their classic hits live in concert in one of the most "studio like, clean sounding" live album recordings produced. Foreigner joined Def Leppard along with Styx on tour in 2007. They also toured extensively in their own right in 2007—the thirtieth anniversary of the release of their debut. In late 2007, keyboardist Jeff Jacobs left Foreigner after 16 years and was replaced, first by Paul Mirkovich then by Michael Bluestein (in 2008). And in 2008, Bonham also parted ways with Foreigner. Bryan Head was then brought in to fill the drum chair. But his tenure was short and he also departed to be replaced by the returning Tichy. The band released a greatest hits anthology on July 15, 2008, titled No End in Sight: The Very Best of Foreigner. The anthology included all of their greatest hits plus some new live recordings and a new studio track, "Too Late", which was their first new song release since the 1994 album Mr. Moonlight and the first recorded output of the new lineup. "Too Late" was released as a single on June 17, 2008. Foreigner released a new album on September 29, 2009, titled Can't Slow Down. It was one of several recent classic rock releases (AC/DC, the Eagles, Journey and Kiss being four others) to be released exclusively through the Walmart stores chain in the US, while in Europe the album was released by earMUSIC (a label part of the Edel group), charting top 20 in Germany (16) and Top 30 in Switzerland. Can't Slow Down debuted at #29 on the Billboard 200. The first two singles from the album, "When It Comes to Love" and "In Pieces" both reached the Top 20 on Billboard's Adult Contemporary chart. In 2010 it was awarded a gold certification from the Independent Music Companies Association, which indicated sales of at least 100,000 copies throughout Europe. In early 2010, Foreigner teamed up with Styx and Kansas for the United in Rock Tour. On May 4, 2010 it was announced that Brian Tichy's replacement as drummer would be Jason Sutter. Jason Sutter's time with the band was short as he left by 2011. Mark Schulman then returned to Foreigner for his third go-round as drummer. On February 20, 2011 the band played for the first time in Bangalore, India along with sitar player Niladri Kumar. In June 2011 Foreigner (again along with Styx) co-headlined with Journey on their UK tour. After this, they joined up with Journey and Night Ranger on a triple bill summer/fall tour of the US. For some dates of this tour, Brian Tichy filled in for Foreigner's drummer Mark Schulman when he was not available. From August 19 to September 10, 2011, Night Ranger guitarist Joel Hoekstra did double duty playing for NR as well as subbing for Jones, who had taken ill. Right after this, guitarist Bruce Watson (ex-Rod Stewart) was brought in as Jones' stand-in for the tour's remaining dates and continued to tour with the group when they hit the road again in February 2012 after Jones underwent aortoiliac bypass surgery in Miami. On October 4, 2011 Foreigner released Acoustique, which presented their best and most famous songs, along with some newer tracks, recorded in stripped-down acoustic mode. In May 2012 after being diagnosed with colorectal cancer, Bluestein was forced to take a leave of absence from the band. His stand in on keyboards was Ollie Marland. Bluestein was able to return to the group in August 2012 and Tichy once again rejoined in the interim until his schedule with Whitesnake called him away. In September 2012, the man Tichy replaced in Whitesnake, Chris Frazier, became Foreigner's new percussionist. On August 31, 2012 after over a year away, Jones returned to the concert stage at Atlanta's Chastain Park. Guitarist Watson, in the meantime, stayed on until Jones was able to return to full health. At this very same show, keyboardist Derek Hilland (ex-Iron Butterfly, Whitesnake and Rick Springfield) came on board to sub for Bluestein for the group's late summer/fall tour dates and again during the winter/spring of 2013 until Bluestein was able to return. On January 9, 2013 the band's original drummer, Dennis Elliott, joined Foreigner on stage at the Hard Rock Cafe in Hollywood, Florida to play on "Hot Blooded". In addition to touring small clubs and venues, the band frequently is engaged for private parties and conventions, including playing at SeaWorld in Orlando for an IBM Rational Conference (June 6, 2012), at the Gaylord convention center in Washington, D.C. for the Teradata Partners 2012 conference (October 25, 2012) and at SAP's Field Kickoff Meeting in Las Vegas (January 23, 2013). On June 13, 2013 at the 44th Annual Songwriters Hall of Fame Award Ceremony, Jones and Gramm were officially inducted to the Songwriters Hall of Fame. Billy Joel was on hand to induct Jones and Gramm, singing snippets of Foreigner's hits in his introduction speech. Jones said he was proud as the honor makes his work "legit". The duo then took stage one more time and, along with Thom Gimbel and the house band, performed "Juke Box Hero" and "I Want to Know What Love Is" with Anthony Morgan's Inspirational Choir of Harlem—a performance that brought the entire audience to its feet. In 2014 Foreigner teamed up with Styx and former Eagles guitarist Don Felder for the Soundtrack of Summer Tour. Original bassist Ed Gagliardi died on May 11, 2014, aged 62, after an eight-year battle with cancer. Although discussions of an original member reunion had been proposed, the original band had not performed together since 1979. On June 18, 2014 Foreigner teamed up with the Brockton High School concert choir at the Blue Hills Bank Pavilion in Boston, MA. They performed one of their greatest hits: I Want To Know What Love Is. On January 12, 2015 in Sarasota, Florida, Foreigner were joined on stage by original drummer Dennis Elliott and former bassist Rick Wills to play "Hot Blooded". In Hartford, Connecticut on June 24, 2015, Foreigner began a summer tour as the opening act for Kid Rock. Foreigner appeared on the "Today Show" on February 11, 2016 along with the choir from Our Lady of Mercy Academy to promote their Acoustic Tour and the release of their new album, In Concert: Unplugged. On Saturday September 24, 2016, Foreigner performed before an estimated 20,000+ people at the 100th anniversary of the Durham Fair in Durham, Connecticut. The encore song "I Want to Know What Love Is" utilized the local Coginchaug High School concert choir for backup—their performance having been rehearsed with the band via Skype during the previous months. In a 2016 interview, Jones talked about a possible 40th-anniversary reunion tour, featuring the Head Games-era lineup: "It's quite possible. We've actually been talking about it. I'm not at a point where I can say it's definitely gonna happen, but we're all working on trying to make it happen. It's kind of exciting. And hopefully it'll be feasible and possible to pull it off next year (2017). Lou (Gramm) and I have communicated and we've kept up a sort of loose communication as I have actually also with Ian McDonald, Al Greenwood, Dennis Elliott and Rick Wills. We're at the early stages, but we're trying to put something together to commemorate (it's scary when I say it) 40 years." On November 25, 2016, in celebration of their 40th anniversary, Foreigner released a limited-edition 10-inch vinyl EP, The Flame Still Burns, on Rhino Records for Record Store Day's Black Friday event. The EP's track listing contained the title song (which had previously appeared on Foreigner's Acoustique album and had earlier been featured in the 1998 film Still Crazy) plus live unplugged versions of "Feels Like The First Time", "Long, Long Way From Home" and "Juke Box Hero". Reunion of original members (2017-2019) On July 20, 2017, at Jones Beach Theater in New York, the current Foreigner lineup were joined for their encore by Lou Gramm, Ian McDonald and Al Greenwood to help celebrate the band's 40th anniversary and Greenwood and McDonald came back the following year to take the stage with the group for their Jones Beach show on June 22, 2018. Dennis Elliott likewise joined his old mates for two songs at Foreigner's show on August 2, 2017, at MidFlorida Credit Union Amphitheatre in Tampa, Florida. Another reunion was announced for a pair of shows to take place on October 6–7, 2017, at the Soaring Eagle Casino & Resort in Mount Pleasant, Michigan, where the group was set to be joined again by Lou Gramm, Dennis Elliott, Al Greenwood, Ian McDonald and Rick Wills. The concerts were filmed for future release, appearing on PBS stations in the U.S. on June 8, 2018. In a July 2018 interview with OC Weekly, bassist Jeff Pilson said that Foreigner has no plans to record a new studio album anytime soon, but will continue to only release new songs periodically. On November 9, 2018, all surviving original members of Foreigner came on stage to play alongside the current line-up for a show at Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles, beginning a series of "Foreigner Then and Now" concerts set to run through the end of the year. Foreigner songs to be made into show by GMA Network Like Styx on the previous article, The songs by Foreigner can be made into a show placing on the Afternoon Prime and Telebabad blocks. If that happens, GMA will tap Mick Jones and Lou Gramm to co-produce the said show alongside Filipino producers. The three shows are: I Want to Know What Love Is, Urgent and Juke Box Hero. For more information on Styx see this article: https://kuyarexdelsdiaries.tumblr.com/post/180502770511

1.) I Want to Know What Love Is

The first of the three series and one of the two shows placed on GMA Afternoon Prime is named after a song written by Jones from the 1984 album "Agent Provocateur" which charted at #1 in the UK and in the US. The show's genre is romantic-comedy series The show will be led by Gabbi Garcia (from Encantadia 2016, Sherlock, Jr., Pamilya Roces) and Derrick Monasterio (from Inday Will Always Love You). Other cast members include: - Kyline Alcantara (from Kambal, Karibal, Inagaw Na Bituin) - Jasmine Curtis-Smith (from Pamilya Roces) - Carla Abellana (from Pamilya Roces) - Andre Paras (from Sherlock Jr., Pamilya Roces) - Rayver Cruz (from Asawa Ko, Karibal Ko) - Marvin Agustin (from Inagaw na Bituin) - Sophie Albert (from Pamilya Roces, Bihag) - Laura Lehmann - Bembol Roco (from The One That Got Away) - Candy Pangilinan (from My Special Tatay) - Zoren Legaspi (from Sahaya) - Carmina Villaroel (from Kambal, Karibal, Kara Mia) The show will be directed by former Cain at Abel and Inagaw na Bituin director Mark A. Reyes while the majority of the writers and editors will come from Contessa. The said show will be created by Mick Jones and Lou Gramm and produced by Arlene del Rosario-Pilapil. It’s theme song will be sung by Lou Gramm and Kelly Hansen featuring the show’s cast as the choir.

2.) Urgent

The second of the three series and one of the two shows placed on GMA Afternoon Prime is named after a song written by Jones from the 1981 album "Foreigner 4" which charted at #4 in the United States, #1 in Canada and #20 in Sweden. The show's genre is emergency drama which contains firemen, policemen and medical personnel. The show will be led by Mikee Quintos (from Encantadia 2016, Onanay) and Yasser Marta. Other cast members include: - Clint Bondad (former boyfriend of Catriona Gray, from Love You Two) - Denise Barbacena (from Legally Blind, Contessa) - James Blanco (from Impostora 2017, Onanay, Dragon Lady) - Rita Daniela (from Impostora 2017, My Special Tatay) - Gary Estrada (from The Stepdaughters) - Angelu de Leon (from The Stepdaughters, Inagaw na Bituin) - Marco Alcaraz (from Ika-6 Na Utos, Ika-5 Utos, Onanay) - Dion Ignacio (from Hiram na Anak) - Empress Schuck (from Hiram na Anak) - Angelika Dela Cruz (from Ika-6 Na Utos, Inagaw na Bituin) - Mika Dela Cruz (from Kara Mia) - Kate Valdez (from Onanay) The show will be directed by former Victor Magtanggol director Dominic Zapata while the majority of the writers and editors will come from Onanay. The said show will be created by Mick Jones and Lou Gramm and produced by Nieva Sabit. It’s theme song will be sung by Lou Gramm and Kelly Hansen.

3.) Juke Box Hero

The third of the three series and the only show placed on GMA Telebabad is named after a song written by Lou Gramm and Mick Jones from the 1981 album "Foreigner 4" which charted at #26 in the US and #48 in the UK. The show's genre is 50s Rock n Roll setting.   The show will be led by Dennis Trillo (from Cain at Abel) and Rhian Ramos (from The One That Got Away) Other cast members include: - Migo Adecer (from Sahaya) - Miguel Tanfelix (from Kambal, Karibal, Sahaya) - Bianca Umali (from Kambal, Karibal, Sahaya) - Pauline Mendoza (from Kambal, Karibal, Cain at Abel) - Leandro Baldemor (from Contessa, Cain at Abel) - Melbelline Caluag (from Inagaw na Bituin) - Jerald Napoles (from Inagaw na Bituin) - Maureen Larrazabal (from TODA One I Love) - David Licauco (from TODA One I Love) - Rich Asuncion (from Ika-6 Na Utos) The show will be directed by former The One That Got Away director Mark Sicat Dela Cruz while the majority of the writers and editors will come from Cain at Abel. The said show will be created by Mick Jones and Lou Gramm and produced by Michele R. Borja. It’s theme song will be sung by Lou Gramm and Kelly Hansen. Reaction Foreigner including Lou Gramm hasn't performed in the Philippines yet including Ian McDonald, Al Greenwood, Dennis Elliott and Rick Wills. We will have to wait for Kelly Hansen and the current Foreigner lineup to perform with the original lineup live at Sunday Pinasaya and have concerts at Solaire, Resorts World Manila, MOA Arena or Smart Araneta Coliseum.

(DISCLAIMER: This post is for factual basis and is to be veirified at the soonest possible time by some sources at GMA Network. Don’t be assured yet, but it is just for the contributor’s point of view.)

(NOTE: The contributor of this post is Carl Veluz, a good friend of the EIC/Publisher of KRD.)

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