#ACTUAL HEARTBREAK OVER THIS I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THAT BEEP BEEP

[dbphantom]

YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAH EYAHEAYHEAYSHBDSHUSDBHGSDFBHKJGBFHKDJBKG IT WAS FUCKING AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!! AS EXPECTED!!!!!!!!!! I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT TO GO THRU THIS FRAME BY FRAME THERE ARE SO MANY GOOD SHOTS LOSING MY FUCKING MIND

[athforskz]

Of Ex's and Oh's - Lee Felix

Masterlist

Requested by anon

Pairing: Felix x reader (afab)

Non-idol au 

wc: ~5.8k

Type: Angst, smut, strangers to lovers

Warnings: Previous heartbreak, cursing, mentions of alcohol/drinking, semi public? (The door is open but no one interrupts) cunninglingus, fingering, edging, unprotected piv, aftercare.

Let me know if I missed any!

semi-proofread

a/n: Your bestie’s name in this is Luna. Chan also makes an appearance.

Enjoy lovelies!

Beep beep

A deafening car horn could be heard outside of your home indicating that your friend, Luna, had just arrived to pick you up. You grabbed the oversized and overpacked suitcase before making your way out of the door and to your friend’s car. She squealed in excitement once you opened the backseat door to stuff your bag next to hers. When you finished struggling, you sat next to her on the passenger side with an exasperated sigh. “I can’t believe you actually managed to drag me out of the house for this.” You said while turning to Luna. 

“Oh c’mon, a trip will do you some good! I couldn’t let my best friend continue to rot in her bed for another 6 months.” She started the car back up and began the drive to the airport. 

“I was not rotting. Just healing…?” You questioned your own statement.

“Y/n, you broke up with your ex over half a year ago. All you did was go to work then go home and lay in bed. You even stopped hanging out with me. If that’s not rotting then I don’t know what is.” She had a point. Nothing you did after the breakup with your long time boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend was healing whatsoever. Still you wanted to take things at your own pace. You’d get back out there eventually, or so you had kept telling yourself for the past couple of months. You know all Luna wanted was to help you get back to your old self. The person you used to be before the toxic breakup, before you had even met your ex in the first place. 

“Okay, maybe I get it. But why Australia of all places? You couldn’t have picked like Paris or something?” You questioned.

Luna shook her head as she pulled into the airport parking lot. It was a short drive from your place. “Well, Australia is beautiful this time of year! Not too cold, but also not blistering hot like it is in the summertime. And Paris is just so… cliche. We needed something different for our first trip out in god knows how long.” She finished explaining.

“Sounds like you did your research at least,” you credited her. 

“Not to mention, Australians are sexy!” She wiggled her eyebrows at you. 

You face palmed shaking your head, “Luna, that is not what I need right now!” 

“What? I’m just saying that the best way to get over someone is to get under somebody else.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. You rolled your eyes as you got out of the car after she had parked. 

Hooking up with a stranger was the last thing on your list. You weren’t the promiscuous type and definitely didn’t plan to start during the trip. 

After grabbing the bags  out of the back you both started your trek through the airport. Passing through security went smoothly and you silently thanked the heavens you didn’t forget your passport. Another 30 minutes passed and soon you were seated on the airplane next to your friend.

“How long is this flight again?” You asked while fishing out headphones from your carryon.

“Hmm, only about 15 hours or so.” She answered.

You choked, “ONLY 15 hours?!” 

“Hey, it was the best deal for a straight through flight.” 

All you could do was let out a groan in response. You put on your headphones and listened to some calming music. Mind as well get comfortable during this long flight, maybe catch up on some sleep. 

Contrary to your intentions you barely got any sleep by the time the plane finally landed. The seats were just way too cramped and uncomfortable. Luna, on the other hand, slept like a baby the entire flight. 

“Ugh I can’t wait to get back to the hotel and relax.” You chimed to Luna while you both waited to retrieve your bags. 

“Oh yeah about that..” she trailed. You simply raised an eyebrow at her, waiting for her to continue. 

“That hotel we looked at was way out of our budget for the nights we picked so I booked us an Airbnb instead.” She finished. 

“Okay, that’s not so bad. I thought you were going to say you forgot to book a place or something.” You wouldn’t put it past Luna to have forgotten something as important as booking a place to stay. She was rather forgetful when she got excited about trips. 

Finally, the rightful suitcases had arrived allowing you and Luna to catch a cab to leave the airport. On the ride to the Airbnb you could tell that Sydney, Australia was beautiful. It may have been nighttime but the way the lights lit up the city was something out of a storybook. 

About 20 minutes later, you had arrived at the destination. Upon looking at the small house it was cute, nothing too fancy. You grabbed your belongings from the trunk of the cab and thanked the driver before racing up to meet Luna on the doorstep. She punched in the key code to open the door. Immediately upon entry the interior was warm and inviting. The house sported an open floor plan with a modern kitchen and living room towards the front of the house. You both made your way past the living room down a hallway that led to two bedrooms and one large bathroom. Luna didn’t hesitate to pick her room, throwing her bags down on the bed as her claim. The rooms were decent size and had a pretty similar vibe overall. Only difference was, Luna's room had an extra window. 

You dragged your bag into the room that was left to you and plopped down on the soft bed. 

“Hey, Y/n! Can you order some food?” Luna called out from her room. As if on queue your stomach growled. 

“Yeah! What do you want?” You pulled out your phone and opened up a delivery app, punching in the address to your temporary place. There were plenty of options to choose from as you scrolled. 

“I don’t know, you pick. I’m down for whatever. Just make sure it gets here quick.” She answered. You giggled, assuming your friend must have been as hungry as you. Who wouldn’t be after such a long flight? You decided on a simple dinner of Thai noodles for the both of you. 

“Food should be here in 20-25!” You yelled out. 

“Perfect. Now which one should I wear?” Luna had appeared at your door holding up two different outfits: a mini dress in one hand and a matching two piece set in the other. 

“Are you prepping for tomorrow or something?” You inquired while pointing to the mini dress.

“Nope. Tonight.” She smiled innocently at you while returning to her room. 

“Tonight?! You’re going out? It’s already late.” You followed her. 

“Correction: WE are going out. And it’s not late, it's only a little past 9pm.” She retorted. 

“Luna, we’ve been traveling all day and I’m tired, all I want to do is eat and get into bed.” You had your arms crossed over your chest.

“We’re only here for 4 days, Y/n. Come on, it’ll be fun! Pleaseeee?” She pleaded with you. 

You pinched the bridge of your nose, “Alright, alright fine. But I’m not taking care of you tonight if you get shit-faced drunk.” You gave in to her begging. Luna jumped over to you to entrap you in a tight hug. “We are going to have tons of fun, you’ll see!” She promised.

Maybe you’d feel a bit more up to it after you got some food in you. Retreating to your room, you rummaged through the clothes in your suitcase to see what outfit you could throw together. You settled on a bustier cami top with black lace detailing, flowy mini skirt, and strappy heels.

Luna and you were in the bathroom doing hair, makeup, and chitchatting when you heard a knock at the door. 

Must be the food, you thought. 

You went to retrieve the meal and set it on the kitchen counter. Luna came out shortly after to join you. You both ate rather quickly, enjoying the meal before finishing getting ready. By the time you had finally gotten dressed you were even sleepier than before. The full tummy hadn’t helped like you thought. 

Nonetheless, you had made an agreement with your friend to go out, plus you were already ready to go. Luna insisted on taking a few pictures to remember the occasion before setting out. 

True to her habits, Luna had forgotten to tell you that you’d be walking to your destination. While it wasn’t freezing cold, the night air was still chilly. You had silently cursed your shoe choice while walking. It wasn’t far thankfully, only about 5 minutes. Once you both made it, you stepped into the bar, immediately being welcomed into the nightlife. The music was loud and the smell of alcohol filled the air. 

All of a sudden you felt uncomfortable, you pulled at your skirt making sure it stayed at about mid-thigh and covered your chest with your arms. You hadn’t been out to a bar since before you started dating your ex. He hated when you went out, always making remarks that you dressed ‘too slutty.’ Your brain was filling with thoughts of him and all you wanted to do was find a way back to your room to curl in bed. 

Luna noticed your turmoil and grabbed your wrist to pull you to a less crowded area near the bar. She placed a hand on your cheek and looked into your eyes asking the silent question if you were okay. You simply nodded your head, not wanting to ruin your best friend’s night already. She turned to the bartender ordering a couple of drinks for the two of you. 

You looked around the place, trying to calm yourself down. It was packed for sure, people dancing and spilling their drinks all over the floor as they bumped into each other. Just then, there was a tap on your shoulder. You jumped, startled but quickly settled when it was just Luna handing you a shot. 

“It’s your favorite! It’ll help you loosen up!” She yelled over the loud music. 

You took the shot from her hand and clinked it against the one she held in her own before the both of you simultaneously drank. Your face scrunched in disgust. Tequila was not your favorite but it was effective. 

After splitting a full sized mixed drink with your friend you did seem to feel a bit more relaxed. You weren’t buzzed, let alone drunk by any means, but the drinks did help in taking away the impending anxiety. However, Luna was a bit of a lightweight and you could already tell she was feeling her alcohol by the way she danced. 

“Stay here, I’ll be right back!” You told Luna, leaving her on the dance floor to return to the bar to get another drink. After this one you’d cut her off. Upon reaching the bar you accidentally bumped into someone. 

“Sorry, sorry! I didn’t see you there.” The man steadied you with a hand on the small of your back. He simply smiled at you with a shake of his head. 

“Don’t worry about it!” He told you. His voice was deep and when you looked up to meet his gaze your eyes widened. He was easily one of the most handsome men you had ever seen. The way his blonde hair framed his freckled face had you mesmerized. His smile was so warm. You pulled your eyes away from him before he thought you had been staring too long. You nodded as if silently apologizing again and turned to order your drink. 

You quickly retreated back to find Luna after getting your order. You found her on the dance floor, talking to a guy. She was always outgoing, but got even more friendly when she drank. You stood next to her observing the man, he actually seemed nice, he wasn’t giving off any creepy vibes and was genuinely interested in their conversation. It didn’t take long for Luna to notice you by her side, “oh this is my bestest friend EVER! Isn’t she hot?!” Your face flushed, did she really just? 

The man laughed at your horrified expression at your friend’s question. You face palmed in response. The three of you continued with casual conversation, you eventually found out the man’s name was Chan. After a few minutes you excused yourself to go to the restroom. When you got back, Luna and Chan were dancing. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands on her waist. You didn’t want to intrude and act as a third wheel so you kind of just stood awkwardly a distance away. 

Little did you know a certain blonde man was eyeing you from his seat at the bar. As if in a movie, the crowd of people parted and you turned to meet his gaze for the second time that night. The lights in the bar started flashing to match the beat of the music, the beginning of ‘Carnival’ starting to play. A smirk played on his lips as he finished his glass of whiskey. He got up and made his way over to you. 

“Wanna dance?” He leaned down slightly to whisper in your ear. How could you say no to him? You wordlessly responded to him by pulling him closer and swaying your body to the music. You could smell his cologne and the alcohol on his breath. He himself was intoxicating by his presence alone. 

“What’s your name, Angel?” He asked as his hands caressed your sides. 

“Y/n, what’s yours?” 

“That’s such a pretty name. I’m Felix, nice to meet you, gorgeous!” He kissed your cheek. Your body stilled for a split second as a blush creeped up. 

Do Australians normally greet like this or is he just bold? Maybe he’s drunk? 

He asked a few more questions to get to know you a bit better and in turn you got to know him. You found out that Sydney is his hometown, he’s 23, and he came here with his friend, Chan. You told him that your friend, Luna is currently off somewhere dancing with Chan. You couldn’t remember the last time you’ve had such a good time getting to know another guy. You felt comfortable with Felix to say the least. 

What would he say if he saw you with another man? Thoughts of your ex popped into your mind again. You quickly pushed those thoughts aside not wanting to ruin the moment. 

Another song that you particularly loved came on and you turned around to dance on Felix. Now you were the one being bold. Felix was pleasantly surprised and took the opportunity to put his hands on your hips to dance with you. The sensual tension between you two had increased as the song went on. Felix placed his face in the junction between your neck and shoulder laying a gentle kiss there as he breathed you in. You reached a hand back to run through his soft hair. 

The night continued into the wee hours of the morning. You and Felix had built plenty of tension in the time you had danced together. You had realized it had been a while since you checked on Luna. As much as you didn’t want to stop dancing with Felix you needed to check on your friend. You excused yourself from his hold to find her practically hanging onto Chan. 

“Oh my god, Chan I am so sorry! Luna, how much more did you drink?” You apologized to the man and took your friend from his hold to stand her up straight. All she could do was smile and laugh. Her pupils were blown wide, definitely a sign she was drunk. She stumbled back, but Chan helped you steady her. 

“She only had one other drink after you left.” Chan told you. 

“Dammit, Luna, I told you no more! Come on, we're going home.” You told her while holding onto her upper arm. 

“We can help you!” You heard two voices instead of just one. You looked over to see Felix coming to stand next to Chan. You raised an eyebrow at the both of them. 

“It’s fine, it’s only a short walk from here.” You stated. 

“You walked here and you think she’ll be able to walk back?” Chan questioned while pointing at your ill-balanced friend. 

He had a point. They both seemed nice enough and trustworthy so you took them up on the offer. 

The four of you made it out of the bar. You tried getting Luna to walk straight but it proved fruitless as she kept tripping. Chan took Luna from your hold and hoisted her up to carry her on his back. Luna screamed and laughed at first in her drunken state. You watched as your friend was having such a good time getting a simple piggyback ride. Chan was playing into it, twirling in circles every once in a while and running ahead with the biggest smile on his face. You couldn’t help but chuckle at their antics. 

Felix was walking right next to you brushing the back of his hand against yours. He kept quiet most of the walk back but would give you a reassuring smile when you looked his way. You’d soon realize he was keeping an eye on the surroundings making sure your little group was safe. 

A short bit later, you all had reached the house you and Luna were staying at. You unlocked the door and ushered the others in before you. 

“Do you mind carrying her to her room, Chan? It’s down the hallway on the right.”

“Sure thing.” He kept her on his back and made his way to her room. You could hear her squeal once he dropped her down on the bed. Chan made his way back out to the living room to meet back up with you and Felix. 

“Pretty sure she’s going to pass out any second now.” Chan said. 

“Thanks again, Chan and Felix for walking us back.” You were grateful for their help.

“Ah shit…” Felix whispered while looking at his phone, “All the ride shares are offline right now. Guess we’re hoofing it, Chan.” He patted the older man’s shoulder as they turned towards the door getting ready to leave. 

“Wait! It’s like 3am, how far do you guys have to walk?” You asked concerned.

“Probably like an hour walk at least. Wouldn’t you think?” Felix looked at Chan, he nodded his head to confirm. 

“Absolutely not, you guys are staying here until you can get a ride.” You said matter of factly. 

The boys looked at each other for a moment then back at you. 

“It’s really no big deal, we can-“ Chan started,

“No, no I insist. It’s the least I can offer for getting us back safe.” You interrupted. 

They put their hands up in defeat. You let them know they could make themselves comfortable on the couch and that you’d be in your room if they needed anything. 

Normally, you wouldn’t have even let two men you just met at a bar come into your makeshift home but you were on vacation, they were nice, and you needed help with Luna. 

You went into the shared bathroom to brush your teeth and change into your sleep shorts and top before settling into your room. You kept your door open in case the boys or Luna called out for you. A few minutes had passed and you were sat on the bed brushing out your hair when you heard a knock on the doorframe. It was Felix. 

“Sorry to intrude, I was feeling kind of lonely since Chan fell asleep on me out there. Mind if I come in?” He seemed shy all of a sudden. You offered a soft smile and pat a spot on the bed for him to come sit. He came over to sit at the edge and looked at you sheepishly. 

“I think we’ll be here until sunrise when the ride shares are operational again.” He admitted.

“That’s okay, you guys are more than welcome to stay.” You reiterated while continuing brushing your hair. 

Felix was silent for a moment just admiring you. You got up after a while to get some makeup wipes to clean your face. He followed your movements, watching the way your top rid up slightly to show off the dimples on your back. 

“How come I’ve never seen you around here before?” He finally asked. 

“Luna and I aren’t from here, we came to visit for a getaway.” 

“A getaway? Like a vacation?” 

“You could say that. She was tired of me ‘rotting’ after my breakup.” You were truthful with him. 

“Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.” He apologized.

“Don’t be, it’s been 6 months and I need to get over it. Easier said than done though.” You sighed as you got back on the bed, sitting crisscrossed with your back against the headboard. Felix seemed more relaxed now and sat opposite you in the same position. 

“Is that why you seemed distant at times tonight?”  His inquiry made you slightly cringe.

“You noticed, huh?” 

“How could I not? You would tense up and stare into space randomly while we danced.” He gave a light chuckle. 

“My ex just plagues my mind sometimes. I wish I could get him out of my head.” You averted your eyes and shook your head. 

“I can help you with that… if you want.” He proposed. Your face twisted in confusion, you had no idea what he was even offering. 

“How?” 

He approached you slowly and leaned in giving you ample opportunity to move away but you didn’t.

“By making you forget,” he said while brushing his lips against yours. Your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up into his brown eyes. All you could do was nod your head and then he fully connected your mouths. All the tension that had been building throughout the night had led up to this moment. Finally kissing Felix felt so right, it sent sparks throughout your body. 

His hands came up to cup either side of your jaw, his thumbs rubbing over the apples of your cheeks as the kiss deepened. One hand trailed down to your neck giving an experimental squeeze, not enough to choke you but it still elicited a gasp to escape you. Felix took the chance to push his tongue into your mouth and you welcomed it gladly. Already your mind was becoming fuzzy from just kissing him, you couldn’t imagine how else he’d make you feel. 

Felix moved your body down to a more comfortable position as he trailed open mouthed kisses down the column of your throat. His hands moved under your shirt caressing the skin on your waist. 

“Can I take this off, Angel?” He asked in a low sultry voice. You nodded. 

“Words, Angel. I have to hear you say it.” 

“Yes, please,” you whispered.

“Good girl.” He praised before removing your shirt. You didn’t wear a bra to bed normally so your breasts were on full display for him. He leaned back taking in the sight of you. Felix had been staring so long you began getting self-conscious and covering yourself up with your hands, but he stopped you before you could. 

“Don’t hide this beautiful body from me.” He kissed your knuckles then returned to kissing down your throat and collarbone. He cupped your breasts in his hands and squeezed them simultaneously, feeling your nipples harden under his palm. You arched your chest trying to get his hands impossibly closer, but he pulled one hand away quickly replacing it with his mouth. He gave a harsh suck, making you moan out softly. Felix continued his actions, giving the same attention to your other nipple. 

You laid helpless to his mouth’s attacks under him as you reached up playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. Felix continued his descent down your body nipping, kissing, and sucking down your tummy and not forgetting to pay attention to your hips too. He hooked his fingers into the waistband of your soft sleep shorts and dragged them down your thighs, off of your legs. He was now left staring at your panty covered core. You lifted your legs so your knees were pressing up against your chest. Presenting your cunt to him. 

Suddenly, Felix took off his shirt before grabbing your thighs roughly and dragging your body down to the edge of the bed where he kneeled to be face to face with your center. His left hand rubbed the underside of your thighs and your ass as his right hand pulled your panties to the side. A string of your wetness connecting to the fabric of the undergarments. 

“Mm you’re practically dripping. I’m going to enjoy making you a mess.” His voice was somehow deeper as he spoke and that alone made your hole clench around nothing. Felix kissed along your right inner thigh, stopping to blow air over your clit, then going to kiss your left thigh. The sensations were making you squirm. 

“Felix, p-please,” you whimpered. As if answering your pleading, he flattened his tongue against your cunt licking a long fat stripe from your entrance to your clit before wrapping his lips around the bud and sucking. This caused your back to arch off of the bed and a rather loud moan to rip from your throat. Felix detached his lips from your clit to shove his tongue in your pussy. His tongue was covered in your slick as he fucked it into your hole. Your juices covering his lower face and dripping down his chin as you gushed. Maybe he should have put a towel down with how wet you were getting, but it’s too late for that now. Felix retracted his tongue so he could focus on swirling it around your bundle of nerves. You could feel your abdomen tighten as your impending orgasm was washing over you. Your eyes rolled back in your head and your vision went white for a few seconds. Felix practically sucked your pussy clean with lewd wet sounds filling the room. 

You were still coming down from your high as he stood to his feet and quickly did away with his pants. You were finally able to see Felix in all his glory. Toned abs and thighs, his body was breathtaking, his cock even prettier as it was erect at attention. You went to push your panties down but he stopped you. 

“Leave them on, you look good in them, Angel,” he admitted with a smirk. 

You did as he wished, leaving them on. You had relaxed fully on the bed as he got on his knees between your legs. Felix reached over you to grab a pillow from the head of the bed and placed it in front of his thighs. He then grabbed your hips pulling you down so your ass was in his lap and your lower back was supported by the pillow. You propped your legs up on either side of him as you felt he’d be keeping you in this position for a while. Felix took his cock in one hand, pumping it slowly while his other hand came to rub over your pussy. He gave it a couple of light taps with his fingers making your body jolt from the slight overstimulation. Your body is still sensitive from the orgasm his mouth gave you. 

“Hnn c’mon just fuck me already.” You were getting impatient as your neediness grew. 

“Patience, Angel. I’ll give you what you need.” 

His hand adjusted your panties making sure they’d stay in place at the side. Then he placed two of his fingers at your entrance pushing them in agonizingly slow before pulling them back out slightly, making a whimper leave your lips. Felix picked up the pace pumping his fingers into you in synchrony with pumping his cock. He was scissoring you open, prepping you for the stretch of his cock. The way your moans became more whiney coupled with your cunt clenching around his fingers he knew you were about to cum again. 

“I can feel your body, you’re gonna cum again aren’t you?” 

“Y-yes! Please lemme cum, wan’ cum for you,” you babbled out as your hips bucked onto his fingers. Felix kept fingering you, hitting that gummy spot that drove you crazy. He got you so close, right to the edge before he pulled his fingers out. Effectively ruining your orgasm. You whined out in protest. Your high gone from grasp. All you could think about was wanting him to get you there again, to take your body over and over again. 

Right before you could complain about needing to cum, Felix was rubbing his cock through your wet folds. 

“Hmm, your pussy is s’ pretty. All soaked for me. You’re gonna take my cock so well aren’t you, Angel?” He looked into your eyes as his tip was pressing to your hole, but not yet breaching entry. 

“Yeah, s’ well. All f’ you.” You were barely making coherent sentences anymore as if forgetting how to talk. Felix let out a dark chuckle, this is exactly how he wanted you. 

His cock finally pushed in and he gave his hips an experimental roll to make sure he was slotted deep within you. You moaned out at the stretch of his cock as the walls of your pussy engulfed his member completely. Felix gave you time to adjust as he picked up your legs that were previously at his sides to put them over his shoulders, landing gentle kisses to your calves to help you relax. After a bit he started thrusting into you at a slow and rhythmic pace. He swore under his breath at how good you felt while you struggled to keep your moaning under control so as to not wake your friends. The sounds of wet skin smacking against each other didn’t help either. 

Your hands reached out to grab at his legs underneath you and you couldn’t help but dig your nails into his thighs causing him to hiss in return. He steadily picked up the pace while reaching his hand down to rub at your clit. You let out a loud cry of pleasure and he quickly leaned over to capture your lips with his. Swallowing up the moans you were desperately trying to let out. Now that Felix had you somewhat muffled, his pace turned relentless. Pounding into your sopping cunt to hit that sweet spot, his balls smacking against your ass. You tried pulling away to catch your breath and let out your screams but he kept you in place. His arms on either side of your head and mouth slotted against yours. Drinking in every moan, whimper, and scream. Your legs started to shake and he felt your pussy clench hard around his cock as you came again that night. You had never had such a euphoric orgasm before, probably because he edged you. Felix finally removed his mouth from yours and quickly pulled his cock from your soaked hole. He fucked into his fist a few times before hot cum spurted out onto your stomach. His head leaned back as he let out a deep groan. 

You were still suffering from the aftershocks of your orgasm, breathing heavy and vision blurry. 

“Felix… oh, Felix.” Is all you could mutter out. 

He was panting but smiling wickedly as he looked down at you. 

“Yeah, keep saying my name, Angel. That’s all you need to know.” He kissed the corner of your mouth, proud of the delirious state he put you in. Felix got off of you to find something to clean you up with. He soon came back with a warm washcloth and wiped the sticky mess from between your thighs and his cum off of your tummy. He disposed of the soiled cloth then returned back to your bed. He smiled as he saw that you were already sound asleep. A job well done on his part. He climbed into bed, pulling your body up in a more comfortable position to cuddle in. Felix kissed your hair before nuzzling his face into your neck and passing out not too long after you. 

Morning came and the sun's rays shone through the window hitting your face. You stirred awake still in Felix’s hold. You could feel his soft snores fanning over your neck. The previous night’s scene replayed in your head making a blush apparent on your cheeks. You’ve never felt so completely satisfied as you did in this moment. Before you could daydream any longer you’d thought it’d be best to get up and check on your friend.

As you tried to sneakily get out of Felix’s grasp he pulled you back even closer to him. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” He was awake and his morning voice was so deep you barely recognized it as Felix. 

“To put on clothes and check on Luna.” 

“She’s fine, Chan’s got her.” He said.

“Chan is probably still asleep too though.” You remarked. 

“Hm, good point. Just five more minutes at least. You’re so warm.” Felix pleaded. 

You couldn’t say no to him so you settled in for a few more minutes. You turned over to face him and tangled your legs together under the blanket. You and Felix admired each other in a comfortable silence. Felix started to lean towards your lips but you pulled back covering your mouth. 

“Nuh uh, I still have morning breath.” 

Felix let out a half-hearted laugh, “and I still have the taste of your pussy on my tongue, but you don’t see me complaining.” 

Your jaw dropped at his comment and you playfully hit his shoulder. 

“Don’t say shit like that!” You whisper-yelled.

“It’s true. Matter of fact, I could go for seconds.” He said before quickly disappearing under the duvet already yanking your panties down your legs, actually taking them off this time.

“Felix! No get up here, right no- ah!” A squeak left your lips as he kissed your clit.

“Well I need to kiss something since you won’t give me your mouth.” You could hear the smirk in his voice. Before you could protest again he got to work on essentially making out with your pussy. Your sweet moans like music to his ears. 

Damn this Australian man, he was going to be the death of you. 

Thank you for your lovely request anon. Hope it lived up to your expectations!

Likes, comments, and reblogs are much appreciated!

Taglist: @doitforbangchan

[muite]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PLATANITO !

» angst with kokonoi hajime ; here's my granito de arroz in platanito's birthday event ♡

"you won't be coming tonight?

"I'm sorry baby, I've been really busy and that's actually a really good thing for the company"

"oh nevermind, I was thinking we could go out and have a nice dinner" smiling at him through the phone "I thought you could use it"

"hm, I don't think we can y/n"

"why not?"

"I'm gonna be busy tomorrow too"

"oh.."

"but we can go out the day after tomorrow baby, don't be sad ok?"

"yeah, don't worry about it"

"ok, I'm gonna go now, take care, don't sleep with your feet outside the sheets"

laughing softly at this demanding tone you answered "take care haji"

hearing the beep from the device pressed against your ear you sighed this is the third time he cancels our plans, not wanting to be suspicious of him you started preparing dinner

he's not like that.. he's not

how many nights had passed since he touched you or slept with you in the same bed?

he must be really busy and tired

but how did come inui was able to take breaks and keep his relationships with everyone normal and without any problems?, the sudden thought of inui rememberd you of a conversation with him a little while ago when he asked when the two of you would get married and have little babies running around

I ask myself the same

thinking that he must be really tired and that he probably will dismiss eating properly you decided on making him his favorite, you can bring it to him later to work, if he didn't have time to see you because of it you would go see him instead

an hour had already passed and you were ready, dressed nicely and simple, carrying the food in tupperware containers, utensils and two drinks in the biggest lunch bag you could find

excitement bubbled up in your chest, you hadn't seen him in over a week and missing him so much was making you go crazy

will he shout my name in surprise?

the thought making you giddy, laughing softly at your silly ideas you open the door of his apartment, sliding softly through it, it already late, the only source of light coming from a room at the back

walking towards it your mouth parted excited to say something like "delivery!" or anything that would make him laugh for sure

but instead you're met with his pleading voice

"please, I'm not asking for much"

"don't you have a girl at home koko?"

"she doesn't mean anything!"

it didn't take you long to understand that you were that supposedly 'girl at home' and that koko had just admitted how you didn't mean anything

you didn't want to, but with all the quietness you could get you poked your head out, trying to take a look at what was happening there

first: you saw your boyfriend's body and another one of the same stature Infront of him, who you guessed was Inui for the light color of his hair

moving your eyes up to catch a glimpse of koko's face your eyes made contact with Inui, said individual already looking at you

ducking your head you hoped he didn't tell koko, his earlier proclamation of how you were nothing still not settling well in you, and wanting to keep listening at what he had to say hoping that it was just a misunderstanding

I'm in denial aren't I?

"she doesn't mean anything koko?"

"you know she doesn't Inupi! just... please" a heaved breath coming from koko resonated in the room "please... I just want to see akane again"

the sound of your heart breaking together with every thought in your mind was all you could hear

"that's really low"

"I stopped caring about that a long ago" koko shuts his eyes closed "i'm getting desperate"

"then why don't you tell me what y/n means to you?"

your eyes widened at Inupi's request, he knew you were listening, did he want to break you even more?

"she's just warming my bed while I get akane back" he felt like he's going to regret this, but if the outcome of this mess let him get back with akane then it would be worth it "I really liked her at first, she was sweet and the perfect idea of a girlfriend but I was just fooling myself"

"how so?"

"I liked to think that the news would reach akane and she'll try to get back at me"

for a moment everything was silent, your poor little heart had been stepped on, pissed on and just thrown to the side like it was nothing, you felt numb all over, thinking to yourself if a human was capable of surviving a heartbreaking pain like this

"well, you have your answer y/n"

"ha?"

"you can come out now"

you wanted to go and scream, kick koko, slap him, but you couldn't, the life was slowly eated away from your eyes, soulless orbs took place where your had shining lovesick eyes before all changed with the sudden force of hatred

he said so himself, you were just a bed warmer while he was your first in everything, if koko didn't see any value in you how would you see it for yourself? tossed aside like trash you felt like it too, you didn't want to hate him but the state your mind was currently in wouldn't allow yourself to keep on loving him

removing your stupid big lunch bag and the contents inside you left as quickly as your feet could carry you, you didn't want any of them to look at how pathetic you had become in just a few minutes

and just as koko came outside of the room to see who was outside the room you had walked out the door

I didn't want to love you, you taught me how hate you

and now as you walked out of his life you wondered if you would be capable of loving someone again, you wondered where are the children you never had with him

maybe in saturn

[simpforhoon]

just you. (p.js) *ೃ༄

pairing: soft dom! jay × female reader

genre: smut, fluff, soulmate au! kind of angsty it has a happy ending I swear (praise, making out, protected sex, oral (f-receiving)).

summary: in a world where everyone gets the name of their soulmate tattooed on their wrists when they turn 18, finding out your best friend is your soulmate was not how you planned your 18th birthday to go. now, what’s so bad about that you might ask? you see, jay despises the thought of soulmates. but maybe he doesn’t despise them so much when it comes to you.

please note, this work is purely that of fiction. and not meant to represent what the enhypen members are like in real life.

A/N: guys no why am I so soft,, anyway I’ve been wanting to write this for a while now, so I hope you enjoy!! and I'm reposting this now, as this didnt get a lot of notes on my old account cause of all the reporting and stuff!

word count: 3.4k

warnings: mentions of heartbreak, crying, mentions of food.

1 week ago

you bit your nails as you paced up and down your room, a nervous habit you’d picked up in your junior year of high school whilst dealing with the tremendous stress and pressure school put on you. well lucky for you, you had graduated now and your 18th birthday was just around the corner. specifically, exactly a week from now.

your best friend jay sat on your bed staring at you with amusement written all over his face as he quietly observed you, before moving up to stop you and pull your hands away from your face. “you’re going to wear yourself out” he mumbled softly, pulling you to sit next to him and rubbing your shoulder in a comforting manner.

“I know I know, I’m just nervous, what if they’re all the way on the other side of the world? or even worse, what if they’re someone I know??” the panicked expression on your face was seemingly too much for jay to handle as before you knew it, he had almost rolled off your bed, laughing his ass off at you.

you see, your “dearest” best friend jay never believed in soulmates. he himself never actually got a name on his wrist, a sign that his soulmate had not reached the age to get theirs. to say he was ecstatic would be an understatement as he was at a party that very night, hooking up with a random girl before going over to your house the next morning with a massive hangover and a sullen expression.

it hurt you to see him that way, hooking up with random people, praying that he wouldnt run into his soulmate. and it hurt even more when you thought of how his soulmate was probably so excited to meet him even if they didn’t know him yet.

if only you knew where you would be a week later, wishing it was you who never met him.

present day

the time on your phone read 11:57, and jay had shown up to your house at exactly 11:30, punctual as always, giving up his usual saturday night parties to spend the night before your special day with you instead. he held your hand in his, one thumb running up and down the expanse of your knuckles soothingly, the only thing grounding you in the tense moments before what was basically the biggest moment of your life. your eyes never met his once, only flickering from the clock to your wrist every few seconds, almost as if it would appear before time if you stared long enough.

12:00 a.m.

it was almost as if everything stopped in that moment as the words appeared on your skin. the crickets stopped chirping, that one car alarm outsode your house stopped beeping and both you and Jay stopped breathing, even if it was just for a few seconds. one by one, letter by letter, black ink slowly trailed up the soft skin on your clean wrist, marking your skin for the rest of eternity. you watched with bated breath as tbe letters curved their way into your skin, into your soul.

“P-A-R-K” looks like your soulmate would have the same last name as your best friend. “J-O-N-” that was when the realisation of what was about to happen dawned upon you. “no, no, no, no” was all you could think. “this wasn’t supposed to happen”

meeting jay’s eyes for a split second, you could see the shock on his face, the same shock you knew was written all over your face at that very moment. yanking your hand out of his warmer one, you stared at the 2 words displayed on your wrist. “park jongseong” you whispered as a one lone tear ran down your cheek, falling to you chin before disappearing into the soft material of your sweater.

this prompted jay to push up his own sleeve, the words that seem to have appeared on his wrist confirmed what you both already knew by that point. jay park, your best friend since you were 5, your rock, your everything, was your soulmate. if the situation were anything but this, you would have been jumping for joy, ecstatic that your soulmate was the man you’d grown up with your whole life. but unfortunately, that was not the case.

“_______” he whispered, voice hoarse as he held your hand in his again. gripping it tightly this time so you wouldn’t be able to let go this time. not that you wanted to anyway. “jay” you whispered back, attempting to smile at him, despite the tears that were threatening to overflow at any moment. “I-I need time to think” he said, so softly, his eyes full of nothing but remorse. “I understand jay, take your time, don’t rush okay?” you replied, squeezing his hand in reassurance. he wistfully smiled at you one last time as he pushed himself off your bed and walked out of your bedroom, closing the door with a small ‘click’, leaving you alone in the darkness of your room, mind racing and wondering what were you were going to do with this newfound information.

you fell asleep after much tossing and turning, your mind full of nothing but jay and his name that was now tattooed into the inside of your wrist. you were woken up by the bright smile of your parents, you mother holding a plate of pancakes and wishing you a happy birthday. the sight alone was enough to make you burst into tears as you wrapped your arms around her, seeking her familiar scent and comfort after the rough night you had. your parents seemed shocked, but did not press you to open up, wrapping their arms around you as they attempted to comfort you.

your mom was no foolish woman, as she seems to have caught on to what was bothering you on your special day. “its about your soulmate isn’t it?” she asked as she placed a glass of your favourite chocolate smoothie in front of you, wiping her hands on her apron. you looked up at her, disbelief written all over your face as she chuckled at you. “how did you know?” you asked as she smiled slyly at you. “I have my ways, and besides, I’m your mother” she replied with a wink. you groaned, dramatically resting your head on the counter as she laughed and gave in. “I saw jay walk out of your room last night with tears streaming down his face, and considering you woke up crying too, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what went down there”.

“you should talk it out with him sweetie, he’s not just your soulmate, he’s your best friend. despite how he feels about this whole fate thing, I’m sure the both of you will be okay.” her words reassured you as you grabbed your backpack, and walked through your front door. not even 2 minutes later you heard the biggest scream and you were tackled into a hug. giggling, you wrapped your arms around the taller boy as he squeezed you tightly. “happy birthday ______!” he said as he let go of you and continued your walk to school. “thanks sunoo” you said, smiling at the younger boy who had the biggest grin on his face.

“soooooo” he began, looking at you with an expectant expression on his face. you pursed your lips, already predicting the question that was due to escape his mouth any second from now. “jay” you said, cutting him off before he could even open his mouth. “JAY?!?!!?” he said, a little too loudly, mouth agape as he processed the information. you shrugged as he linked his arm with yours, understanding that you didnt want to talk about it.

luckily, no one pressed you about your soulmate for the rest of the day, warded off by sunoo’s glare the moment they looked like they were going to ask. you sat next to jay in all your classes, the atmosphere tense and awkward between the two of you. everyone seemed to have figured our what happened by that alone, your normally boisterous voices muted and soft. you went out after school with sunoo and riki, your mood heightened by the laughs and jokes of the two bickering boys.

when you got home, the house was eerily quiet, your parents nowhere in sight, all the lights turned off save the one in your living room. and there on the sleek grey sofa sat Jay, looking down at his hands as he anxiously played around with the rings he always wore. your footsteps alerted him of your presence, as he shot up off your sofa to greet you with a crooked smile on his face, black hair sticking up in every direction.

you smiled at him, already preparing yourself for the worst, as he walked towards you. “your parents have gone out, they handed me the keys and told me to come and talk to you if I wanted, and-” he cut himself off in the middle of his sentence, taking a deep breath and holding your hand. here goes nothing he thought. “I want to try. this whole soulmate thing I mean. maybe i wouldnt be this way if it was anyone else, but it’s you, my best friend, and I don’t want to lose you.” he mumbled out the last part, but it was still clear enough for you to hear. you couldn’t help the smile that stretched across your face at his words, his own face breaking out into a grin at your expression. you reached up on your tippy toes to wrap your arms around his neck as his hands went around your waist.

he buried his face in your hair, your soft vanilla scent calming his racing heart, and that was when he realised how much you really meant to him. he loved when you would always being him snacks after soccer practice, he loved when you let him lay his head on your lap and you ran your hands through his hair, he loved seeing the expressions you made when you ate his food, he loved you.

“I made something for you” he said, pulling away from your embrace, leading you to your kitchen and making you sit down on the counter. he grabbed a plate of your favourite pasta and a fork before lifting up a mouthful and holding it out to feed it to you. you smiled, wrapping your lips around the fork as the flavours exploded in your mouth. “oh my gosh, this is good, you’ve really outdone yourself.” he smiled at the complement before pressing a kiss to your cheek and muttering a little “happy birthday love”, leaving your face feeling hot and an uncontrollable smile on your face.

the rest of the evening went by in hin feeding you food and taking a few notes of it himself, lots of little cheek kisses, before the two of you settled down on the couch to watch a movie. it seemed like jay had gotten over his awkwardness as he pulled you to sit between his legs the moment the movie started. you looked back at him in shock, wondering when he got so bold before he pressed a kiss to your lips and told you to focus on the screen.

it might not have been the perfect first kiss, but it was with jay and that was enough. he played with your hair throughout the movie, and moved it aside at one point, pressing little kisses along the expanse of your neck. it was when he landed his lips on one particular spot that you let out a little noise, one you never even knew you could make that made him sit up a little straighter.

it was almost as if a switch flipped within him as he tightened his grip around your waist, one hand slipping up your hoodie to caress the skin near your waist. “I didn’t know you could make such pretty noises baby” he whispered in your ear, his hot breath sending shivers down your spine. “well i didn’t know i could either” you whispered back, the realisation of what was about to happen making your body feel like it was on fire.

“are you sure you want this? we don’t have to do anything you dont want to sweetheart” he said, pulling away with a kiss to your cheek. you shifted so that you were facing him, legs wrapped around his waist and you reached your hands up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “I’m sure jay, theres no one I’d rather do this with than you.” that was all the affirmation he needed, as within seconds you were being dragged to your bedroom by an overexcited jay.

he pressed you up against your room door, hands coming up to lift your thighs and wrap them around his waist, your core meeting his very obvious bulge. taking advantage of the gasp that left you, he allowed his tongue to skip into your mouth, taking control of every aspect of the kiss. pulling away, he brought you to your bed, gently letting you down onto the mattress, and reaching up to pull your hoodie off you.

“so beautiful” he whispered as he reached behind you to pull your bra off, before lifting his own arms to pull his own shirt off, leaving his body on display for you. just for you. he reached down to tug one of your nipples into his mouth, gently sucking and wrapping his tongue around the sensitive bud, his actions leaving your mouth open in a silent moan.

within minutes, both of you were left completely naked as jay continued to trail his lips down your body, pressing little kisses to your inner thigh before his mouth finally met your core, the smallest motion of his lips leaving you breathless and squirming. “stay still sweetheart, good girls don’t move around so much”. his words sent vibrations spreading throughout your body, not doing anything to help with the heat that was coursing through your veins.

his tongue delved in and out of your dripping hole, one of his hands rubbing your clit while the other held your legs open for him. “jay- i- I’m gonna-” but he was gone the moment the words fell from your mouth. and he was a sight to see. your juices mixed with his, drool and spit dripped down his chin, as he ran his tongue over his lips with a smirk on his face.

“oh so the baby wants to cum? don’t worry love, I’m going to make you feel so good”. he reached into his jacket and pulled out a condom before rolling it on and lining himself I with your entrance. he grasped your chin gently, pulling you up to look at him and planting a loving kiss on your lips. “I love you so much sweetheart, so so much” he whispered, pulling away from your lips. “I love you too jay” you said back, watching as he smiled once, before intertwining your hands and then, pushing himself into you.

nothing had ever felt as good in that moment as he gently, softly pushed himself inside. the feeling was euphoric, having your soulmate inside you in such an intimate manner. your bodies moulding together perfectly, bursts of colour lighting up the back of your eyelids as your eyes closed at the feeling of him in you. he began thrusting in and out of you slowly, not wanting to hurt you. but at your signal, he began moving faster, groans and moans escaping both your lips, finding pleasure and love in each other.

it didn’t take long for you to reach your high at all, his length hitting you in all the right places, leading you to ride out your high much faster than you expected, jay following soon after. he finished inside the condom, reaching out to pull it off and throw it away, before walking to your bathroom and grabbing a wet cloth to clean you up with.

he was greeted with the sight of your tired smile as he returned, gently cleaning you before tossing the rag and gathering you up in his arms, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “does this mean you’re mine now?” he asked, reaching down to bury his head in your hair, his hands absent-mindedly tracing shapes and figures on your bare shoulder. “it does if it means you’re mine too”. he smiled at your response, pulling the blanket over the two of you as you drifted off to sleep in the arms of the one person who would stay with you forever.

thank you for reading!! I hope you enjoyed and I hope you drank enough water today! ♡♡♡

[quickspinner]

Oops - Part 2

Part 1 | Part 2 | AO3

(See part 1 for summary and warnings)

Marinette was having a hard time keeping her mind on girls’ night. Rose and Juleka had just signed a new lease to move in together in the coming month, and it should have been exciting, but somehow she just couldn’t get into the discussions about decor and whose couch they should keep and how many dishes they really needed.

Marinette had other things on her mind. 

Her phone buzzed in her hand and she glanced at the others quickly before turning it over. 

Sorry, babe, I’ve got a gig that day. Wish I could.

Marinette bit her lip, trying not to be upset. She started to type a reply, when another set of messages came in. 

You could come if you want We could go home together after Just go easy on the drinks this time ;)

Marinette giggled, but sent back You sure? I won’t be in the way?

I’d want you there even if you were. You’re small, we can stick you in an instrument case if we need to

Marinette laughed aloud at that. 

Should I dress up? she typed.

Anything you wear looks good on my floor. Do what makes you happy 

Marinette pressed her legs together, bouncing her knees, and then sent, before she could rethink it, Doing you makes me happy.

There was a long pause before his next message, and then it was just an address and a time, followed by Can’t wait to see you Friday . And Saturday morning. Don’t make lunch plans. 

Marinette gave a little squeal, hiding her face in her hands. 

All of the girls were looking at her with varying expressions. Juleka and Alix looked amused, Rose excited, and Mylène just looked happy for her. 

Alya was looking at her with a slow spreading grin. “Well weeeeell,” she drawled, leaning on the counter between them. “Let me guess. Setting up your next booty call with your new boytoy?”

There was enough truth in that to make Marinette blush deeply. Alya cackled. 

“Details, girl,” she said, slapping the counter. “You’ve been doing this guy for weeks now, what’s the story? He must be good to still put that dopey look on your face after all this time.”

“What—n-no!” Marinette spluttered, looking at the rest of the girls. Juleka was rolling her eyes while Rose and Mylène covered giggles. Alix had that same amused expression as she shook her head slightly. “I’m not gonna talk about that,” Marinette insisted. “It’s none of your business!” 

“Come on, Mari, spill,” Alya said, leaning forward again. “It can’t be that embarrassing. Does he fuck you up against a wall with all your clothes on and call you a naughty girl?” 

Marinette choked, and Alya laughed. 

“Oh, Marinette, you’re such an innocent,” she chortled, sitting back with a smirk like she had gained some kind of victory. 

Marinette’s face burned with both shame and...anger. How dare Alya dismiss her just like that? Like they were still silly teenagers and Marinette couldn’t even talk to a guy, let alone take him home and—suddenly she realized she was tired of Alya’s patronizing, and on top of that, she felt insulted on Luka’s behalf. Taking a breath, Marinette straightened her shoulders and put on the best air of nonchalance she could manage despite her red face. “He probably would, if I asked him to,” she said airily. “But he really likes to take his time for that part.” Summoning up every ounce of the boldness Luka inspired in her, she blurted, “If he wants to make me come fast and hard, he uses his hands.” 

The entire room went silent as they all stared at her. Pretending like she didn’t feel like she was going to throw up from nerves and embarrassment any second, Marinette added dreamily, “He has amazing hands.” 

Alya raised her eyebrows, clearly amused and at least half disbelieving. “Not his tongue?” 

“He’s a great kisser,” Marinette smiled, deliberately misunderstanding. Alya grinned wolfishly. 

“No, girl, I mean when he e—“

“Oh, he’s great with his mouth on me too,” Marinette interrupted, eyes widening innocently. “It’s just, when he uses his hands, he can still use his voice. Mm, he has such a sexy voice.” The shudder that went through her was entirely real. “It makes me so…” she couldn’t quite bring herself to say it, and took a sip of her wine instead.

“Marinette Dupain-Cheng, I can’t believe that you like this guy dirty-talking you,” Alya accused, narrowing her eyes as she set her cup down with a slam. “Little miss sweetness and light. You can’t even handle it when we talk about fucking.”

Marinette shrugged as if she was completely indifferent to what Alya believed. “You don’t say it like he does,” she commented, and took another sip of her drink, staring off into the distance as if she’d completely forgotten Alya was there. She was stretching the truth a bit, she knew. It wasn’t dirty talk, not really, not the way Alya was thinking. Luka didn’t have to be filthy to work her up; he could recite phone listings in that hot, growling voice, and it would be enough to put her over the edge, so when he told her she was beautiful, that he loved the way she smelled or tasted or felt or sounded, or asked what she wanted, or suggested something he wanted her to do for him, or panted out how close he was…

She shivered again. 

Alya didn’t need to know that though. Marinette flicked her eyes around the others, a little nervous about their reactions. Mylène was smiling, Juleka was smirking, and Rose had her hands clasped together and was practically vibrating with excitement. Alix was snickering behind her hand.

“Aw, did Marinette just shatter all your illusions, Alya?” Alix laughed. “You just can’t handle that your oh-so-innocent bestie has a hot side piece.”

Marinette frowned. “Can you have a side piece if you don’t have a...a main piece?”

Alix patted her shoulder. “You can be your own main piece.” 

“Marinette,” Alya said, putting her drink down, suddenly serious. “This isn’t like you. Just who is this guy, anyway? Does he even have a day job?” 

“Yes,” Marinette frowned. “He’s a teacher.” It wasn’t a lie; Luka did teach private music lessons in addition to his performance work, but with Alya giving her that judgemental look, Marinette didn’t intend to give her any details. 

“Ooh, hot for teacher, nice.” Alix reached over and, though feeling a little foolish, Marinette met her high five, but Alya looked unconvinced.

“Well, just be careful,” Alya cautioned her. “You’re still on the rebound—” Am I? Marinette found herself wondering. It didn’t feel like it, actually, when she thought about it. “—and I know you’re feeling pretty vulnerable right now and I don’t want this guy taking advantage of you. If you wanna have fun with him, whatever, but be careful what you tell him and don’t loan him any money.” She sighed. “And especially, don’t fall in love with him. He’s a good time, and that’s it, and he’ll only break your heart if you start wanting more.” 

Marinette just stared at her, mouth hanging open slightly, as Alya turned away. There was a tense moment and then Rose piped up, “All right, are we ready for the movie? Let’s get started!” The girls all murmured agreement and began moving toward the living room.

Marinette put her drink down, 

“Hey,” Alix said, leaning over her shoulder. “Alya’s just trying to look out for you. She didn’t mean it how it sounded, you know that. If you say this guy is cool, I believe you, but it never hurts to watch out for yourself, right?”

“Y-yeah,” Marinette managed a weak smile. “I get it. Sure.” 

***

Marinette was having a shit day. One of her underlings had screwed up at work, which meant, to the bosses, that Marinette screwed up, and then she had to smile and take in the teeth from her bosses while soothing her horrified intern and trying to deal with the problems he’d caused. She’d complained about it to Alya when she got home, and stupidly, she’d mentioned that knowing she had a date with Luka tonight was the only thing that got her through the day. That earned her another well-intentioned condescending talking-to about being careful and not getting invested in something that was clearly only temporary. “I know you, Marinette,” Alya insisted. “He’ll say something sweet just trying to get you naked and you’ll get infatuated and start planning your whole future while the whole time he’s got one foot out the door.” Nino, who’d showed up to pick up Alya in the middle of it, had grudgingly sided with Alya over the whole thing. 

“It’s not really like you, Nette,” Nino said with an uncomfortable shrug. “I mean, I don’t want to be all judgy and weird. I just…well, you’ve...” He’d trailed off and hustled Alya out the door when he saw tears in Marinette’s eyes, leaving her at least with the dignity of breaking down in private. 

She flopped over the arm of the couch and sobbed until her phone beeped a reminder at her. Luka , she thought, touching her swollen face. She couldn’t go out like this. Honestly, she wasn’t sure she wanted to anymore. She just wanted to crawl into bed and pretend the rest of the world didn’t exist.

But she had this date, and…

Alya’s words flooded back and fresh tears fell down her face. Maybe Luka wouldn’t care if she canceled. Maybe…maybe she shouldn’t be feeling so sick about that thought. Maybe Alya was right and she was on the road to another heartbreak. Luka had never said anything, after that first day, about wanting anything more. They weren’t always having sex when they were together, they did other things, but they did always end up in bed eventually. But that didn’t mean anything! Right? Maybe—Marinette sighed. Maybe she didn’t need anything else to spiral about tonight, thanks so much, Alya. Why wasn’t she allowed to just have fun without Alya telling her what was best for her? She enjoyed spending time with Luka, and yeah, he made it clear he enjoyed all the... intimate things they did, but that didn’t mean— 

Focus , she reminded herself, wiping her eyes again. She still had a date tonight that she was in no condition to go to, and if she didn’t call soon Luka would already be on his way to meet her. 

She took a couple of deep breaths to steady herself and called him.

“Hey, beautiful, what’s up?” Luka asked, his smooth voice light and cheerful.

“Hi,” Marinette squeaked, and then gulped down a sob. Shit, she should have texted, she sounded awful.

Luka’s tone shifted immediately. “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

“N-nothing major, I just...I had a really bad day and...I don’t think I’m up for our date tonight. I’m so sorry, I know it’s really last minute, I hope you haven’t left yet, I just—” She caught a tear on her hand and wiped it away, trying not to sniffle into the phone.

“Of course it’s okay,” Luka said, his voice low and soft. “Don’t force yourself, it’s fine. Do you want to talk about it?” 

“No,” Marinette choked, her throat tightening again. 

“Okay. Well, how about if I grab some takeout and bring you dinner? I can pick up something for your roommate too if you like.”

“Oh, you don’t—you don’t have to do that. Alya’s out with her boyfriend, I’m not sure she’s even coming back tonight. I mean, you don’t have to pick up anything at all, I can just scrounge something, I'll be fine, I think we have some...some ramen or something I can make…I’m not very hungry right now anyway.” Ugh, she was a babbling idiot, why hadn’t she just texted him.

“Late lunch?”

“No…” Marinette frowned, trying to think. “I don’t think I ate lunch.”

“Thought so,” Luka chuckled. 

“B-but—I—“

“I don’t have to stay if you’d rather be alone,” Luka told her, his voice so full of sympathy that she wanted to cry all over again. “But at least let me bring you something to eat. It’s not like I had other plans. What’s your favorite food to cry into?” His tone turned teasing. “I can at least bring you some real ramen instead of the instant stuff, if that’s really what you want.” 

Marinette bit her lip, picturing for a moment the congee she used to get at the shop by her old office. She loved it, because it reminded her of her mother’s, but she hadn’t had in in ages because they didn’t deliver to this part of town, and—

“Anything you want,” Luka told her softly. “Come on, what are you thinking about?” 

“It’s out of your way,” Marinette said, shifting on her couch. “I...give me just a second, I’ll think of something, um…” 

“Marinette,” Luka said, a touch of amusement in his voice. “Just tell me what you want. I’m all over this town for gigs all the time, a few extra subway stops won’t kill me.” 

She told him, and gave him directions. 

“Okay. I’ll go pick it up and be there as soon as I can. You take a nice long bath or a shower, or at least wash your face, okay? Get comfortable for a night in.”

Marinette smiled a little at his prescription, and whispered, “Okay.” She sat there a few minutes longer after they hung up, trying to gather enough caring to get up and do as he suggested. Finally she made it up off the couch, and drifted into the bathroom.

She cried more in the shower, but she did feel better after standing in the hot water, which at least relieved some of the stiffness and stinging of her face and eyes, and helped her breathe easier. She sat on her bed wrapped in her towel for a long moment, feeling limp and languid, but if she was sitting here naked when Luka showed up, he’d probably think she wanted some other kind of comforting, and she just wasn’t sure she felt like it tonight. She dug out one of her more modest nightgowns, made of thin, soft fabric that fell to her calves, with wide straps and a shallow scoop neck that covered most of her chest. It was still pretty, because Marinette liked pretty things, but it wasn’t seductive or anything like that. 

Not that she was in any condition to seduce anybody, she thought, as she pressed her fingers below her aching eyes. Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to let Luka come over. Would it hurt his feelings if she made him leave the food at the door?

Marinette had almost decided to do just that when she heard him knock. She paused with her hand on the doorknob, and then sighed. Well, if her puffy, blotchy face and stuffed up nose grossed him out and he didn’t want to see her anymore, then at least that would be one less thing for Alya to bitch at her about, she thought as she opened the door.

Luka’s expression shifted from concern to sympathy as soon as she came into view. “Aw, come here,” he said, reaching for her as he stepped inside. Marinette let him wrap his arm around her and leaned into him as he squeezed her. He kept her under his arm as he walked to the table, where he put the bag of food down and then turned to embrace her fully, folding her in a tight hug, as he swayed slightly and rubbed her back. It felt amazing, actually, and Marinette pressed her face into his chest, inhaling his scent and enjoying the firm feel of him, warm and solid. 

“You want to eat at the table or somewhere else?” he asked. 

“Couch?” she mumbled into his chest, and he steered her over to it. 

“Sit down then, and I’ll get it all ready.”

He brought her the bowl a few minutes later, sitting down next to her as he made sure she had a grip on it before he let go. “Do you want me to go?” he asked, tucking a damp lock of hair back from her face. “Or would you rather have some company? I won’t be offended, if you’d rather be alone.” 

Marinette looked up at him and opened her mouth, and then changed her mind, looking down with a blush. “Actually some company sounds nice,” she mumbled. 

Luka smiled, and leaned forward to kiss her temple gently. “Let me grab my food then.”

When he returned with his plate, he sat next to Marinette and put his arm around her shoulders. Marinette cuddled against his side, tucking her feet under herself. She admired the ease with which Luka balanced his plate on his knee as he ate, but then from some of the stories he’d told her she supposed he was probably used to eating in weird places

The congee felt good on her raw throat, and she ate almost the whole bowl before she sighed and set it on the coffee table to snuggle more firmly against Luka’s side. He’d already finished, and he put both arms around her. She told him a little bit about her day, leaving out the details of the argument with Alya, and Luka made sympathetic noises and kissed her forehead. 

Alya’s wrong about him , Marinette thought, tucking her face against his neck. He’d never treat anyone the way she thinks, even if it was only physical. He’s too sweet. And I don’t...I don’t think that’s what this is. I think...maybe he really meant what he said at the cafe. Maybe he still does. She took a shaky breath, and Luka’s face turned a little closer to hers, so she knew he was listening.

Marinette chickened out. “Could we...maybe get in bed and watch a movie?” 

“Sure, I’d love that.” Luka smiled. “What’s your favorite thing to watch when you feel crappy?”

Marinette blushed. “You’ll laugh.”

Luka grinned. “So what if I do? If you like it, that’s all that matters. Be selfish tonight, Marinette.” 

Luka followed her to her bedroom, and his eyebrows shot up when she produced a dusty old DVD with a picture of a bus on it. “Speed?” he said, sitting on the bed, and then bit his lip. He held up a finger, turned away from Marinette, and buried his face in her pillow as he laughed. Marinette grabbed her other pillow and whacked him with it. 

“I told you you’d laugh,” she pouted as Luka pushed himself up and leaned over to kiss her cheek. “I love Keanu Reeves.” 

“Give it here, and get comfy,” he told her, getting up. Marinette gave him the movie, and he put it in as she tossed the blanket back to the bottom of the bed and got under the sheet. Then she had an internal panic attack as Luka kicked off his shoes and socks and shimmied off his jeans. Oh, maybe she should have—but he’d never have been comfortable if she made him stay dressed, and it didn’t mean they were going to…Stupid, they could have stayed on the couch, why did she invite him to bed?

Barely thinking, Marinette caught the hem of his shirt just before he went to pull it off. “Can you...leave it on?” she asked, and blushed when he looked at her quizzically. “I really like cuddling with you but I...I just—”

“Just?” Luka asked, raising his eyebrows.

“Never mind, it’s stupid,” Marinette sighed, letting go, and feeling like an idiot. “You should be comfortable.

“So should you,” Luka said, sitting back down on the bed. “I can wear a shirt if you want, it’s no big deal.” He reached over and smoothed back her hair—now mostly dry, thankfully. “Is something wrong? You know you can tell me if I ever make you uncomfortable.” 

Oh, she was the worst. He was so kind to her and she was the worst , and how could she admit anything like this to him? Marinette hung her head, and told a truth that wasn’t the truth. “I just...don’t like it when our skin sticks together,” she confessed, and then put her hands over her face. “I’m so sorry. Forget I said anything. I’m being stupid.”

“I’m not forgetting anything,” Luka laughed, sliding under the sheet beside her. “Why are you acting like you did something wrong?” 

“It’s...not very romantic,” Marinette sighed, wrinkling her nose. 

Luka rolled his eyes. “I’d rather you be comfortable than preserve some imaginary aesthetic that no one but us would even be aware of. I don’t mind wearing my shirt or keeping the sheet pulled up if it makes you more comfortable.” He slid down a bit, and stretched his arm out towards her.  Marinette snuggled up next to him again, and sighed contentedly as she rested her cheek against his chest, glad that he wore a soft, slightly worn t-shirt instead of a crisp dress shirt. 

“Comfy now?” he asked, his hand sliding up to massage the back of her neck. 

“Mm,” she agreed, and leaned into his touch with a hum. Eventually they slithered down to lay flat in the bed, Luka curling against her back with his head on her pillow, murmuring sly comments about the movie every now and then that made Marinette giggle, and occasionally reach back to elbow him when she thought he was getting too far out of line. No one, she told him, dissed Keanu in her bed. 

“Yes ma’am,” he agreed, laughing into her hair before he kissed the top of her head. Marinette smiled. 

It was nice, having him snuggled up against her, his teasing voice in her ear, and Marinette’s mood was lifting with each passing moment. She found herself focusing on his broad hand resting on his stomach, his breath tickling the back of her neck, and the warmth of him behind her, the brush of his chest against her back when he breathed. Heat began to pool low in her belly, and her breathing quickened. She pressed back a little, just enough that her back was resting against her chest now, and Luka nuzzled her neck, placing a little kiss below her ear before settling again. Marinette sighed, annoyed with herself. Here she had been worried about giving him the wrong idea, but now that she was comfortable and relaxed, she was starting to change her mind. 

Marinette sniffed experimentally, and found she was breathing much better. She shifted slightly, biting her lip, and then rolled over to face Luka. He blinked at her a little sleepily, and then he smiled. “I’m glad you didn’t revoke my bed privileges. I’m really comfortable right now,” he murmured. “You look like you’re feeling better.” . 

“I am,” she said, and wiggled a little closer, her body already warming at the thought of his touch. She leaned up and kissed him, and any hesitation she’d still been feeling vanished at the soft feel of his mouth against hers. It seemed to wake Luka up too, because his hand went to her face and he returned her kiss with equal enthusiasm. Marinette caught hold of his shirt, and tugged him closer when he would have leaned back. “Can I be selfish, Luka?” she breathed, and felt him shudder as she kissed him again. “Even after all you’ve done for me? Can I ask for more?”

“Always,” he rumbled, rolling up onto his elbow to follow her as she kept tugging on his collar, wiggling to get beneath him. She gasped as he pressed against her, and arched her body up into his, suddenly feeling desperate. Had he been turned on this whole time and said nothing? Alya is so wrong about him. 

“Comfortable , huh?” she teased, and Luka grinned sheepishly.

“I was,” he defended, “Mostly. I can ignore it when I have to, and you didn’t seem like you were up for much.” He kissed her softly.  

“I wasn’t,” she admitted, and then rolled her hips up into him. Luka groaned, his forehead dropping to her shoulder as he grabbed at her hip, and her own eyes closed in pleasure. “I am now,” she sighed. “Please, Luka.” She shivered as she felt the fabric of her nightgown bunch under his big hands, the hem sliding up her calves and over her knees. 

Alya was wrong about him, Marinette was sure, looking up into his eyes as he bent down to kiss her gently, but thoroughly. He only broke the kiss when he finally found the hem of the nightgown. “Can I take my shirt off now?” he asked teasingly as he dragged the nightgown up over her head. Marinette made a muffled sound. “What?” he laughed, but his laugh cut off when she pressed her hips up into him again. 

“I said, yes please,” she told him smugly as he reached back for his collar.  

Marinette settled her arms around his neck and pulled him down into her, eager now for the press of his skin against hers. Luka’s hands carded into her hair, tipping her face to the perfect angle as his mouth descended on hers again. She spared one fleeting thought fr Alya’s warnings before she gave herself up to the moment.

Alya is wrong about Luka...but she might be right about me. Maybe I am falling in love with him. 

***

The movie menu screen had been playing for a while when Luka finally picked up the remote and turned the tv off. “I’m going to grab a drink,” Luka said, kissing Marinette’s jaw. “You want something?” 

“Yes, please,” Marinette sighed. “I don’t think I can move yet.” 

Luka chuckled and kissed her again. “Be right back.” 

Grinning to himself, Luka stopped to pull his boxers and jeans on and made his way to the refrigerator, leaning down to find the water bottles he knew were tucked into the back for him. He’d gotten picky about water on the road, so Marinette, thoughtful as always, kept a few bottles of his favorite brand for him. He grabbed one and cracked it open, taking a long gulp, and then bent to reach in and grab the filter pitcher to make a glass for Marinette. 

“Excuse me?”

Luka jumped and straightened, and turned around to find a woman standing in the apartment doorway, lit from the hall behind. She had one hand on her hip and the other on the doorknob, where a set of keys was still hanging. 

“Hey,” he said, shutting the refrigerator door. “You must be Alya. I’m Luka. I’m Marinette’s—ah—” He’d almost said boyfriend, but he wasn’t, technically, and he suddenly realized he had no idea what word to use. “Friend,” he finally finished lamely, acutely aware of how the word hung between them as he stood there half-naked and disheveled. He lifted the water bottle to his lips again, still parched. “Sorry, we didn’t realize you were coming home tonight.” 

He turned to get a glass from the cabinet, and felt Alya’s eyes on him as he poured the water for Marinette and put the pitcher back. He glanced up and, as he suspected, the look she was giving him was not one of appreciation. Luka had seen that look before and knew that she was seeing the dye and the piercings and the tattoos and not much else. He waited for her to say something, but when she didn’t seem inclined to, he shrugged. “Well, it’s nice to meet you,” he said quickly, and then made his way past her and back to Marinette’s room. “I’ll let Marinette know you’re home.” 

He shut Marinette’s bedroom door behind him, blowing out a breath, and then looked at the bed. 

He forgot about Alya for a moment when his eyes fell on Marinette, looking relaxed and blissfully happy, one lovely shoulder and her feet peeking out of the sheet she had tucked around herself. He could still see the marks of her earlier breakdown on her face, but she looked at peace now. 

If he hadn’t already been sure he loved her, he didn’t think anything on earth would have saved him from falling in that moment. 

Luka brought the water over and set it on her nightstand, then leaned over her to set his on the other one. Marinette smiled dreamily up at him, and he bent down and kissed her gently. She smiled against his lips.

“Your mouth is cold,” she told him, and giggled. 

“Yours is hot,” he teased, kissing her again, a little deeper. Then he sighed. “Your, um...your roommate is home,” he told her, half-regretting it as Marinette stiffened instantly. “I kind of ran into her in the kitchen.”

Marinette bit her lip, looking up at him as a blush lit her face. “Oops,” she murmured, and then giggled in a way that said maybe she wasn’t all that sorry. Laughing, Luka all but tackled her, pressing her back into the pillows as he kissed her messily, moving his lips to her neck and collarbone when she tried to squirm away from him. 

“What was that for?” Marinette giggled, pushing lightly at his chest until he propped himself up on his arms. 

“You are criminally hot,” he told her, smirking when the red tinting her cheeks darkened. “Especially when you blush.” Always when she blushed, but especially now, looking so ravished and yet so sweetly pretty, shy and shameless at the same time. 

He leaned down and kissed her again, more gently, and she hummed against him, kissing him twice more when he would have pulled away. 

When she finally let him sit back, he asked, “Do you want me to leave?” 

“No,” she said with determination, slipping her hand around the back of his neck and pulling him back down into another kiss. “Come get back in bed with me.” 

Not at all unwilling, Luka shimmied out of his pants and crawled over her, slipping under the sheet and tucking it around his front before laying an arm down in invitation. Marinette shifted over to him, and Luka shivered when she moved the sheet away from between them. Instead of settling her head down on his shoulder, she kissed his chest, and his neck, and pressed herself up against him. “I don’t think you’re as done as you led me to believe,” she whispered with a teasing smile. 

“Well not anymore.” Luka grinned up at her, shifting onto his back in answer to the press of his hands on her shoulders. “Feel like scandalizing your roommate?”

“Believe me, it’s her turn,” Marinette huffed, climbing on top of him, and looking up at her pretty face with smiling lips bruised from his kisses, haloed by mussed black hair he couldn’t wait to tangle his hands in again, Luka promptly forgot anyone else even existed. 

Later, he was nearly asleep, curled around Marinette with the sheet tucked between them, when she whispered, “Luka?”

“Hmm?” he blinked his eyes open, though he couldn’t see much. He felt her tense, though, and moved a hand to her arm, rubbing his thumb along her skin. 

“I think I’m falling for you,” she finally said, the sentence half a sigh as the air rushed out of her. 

Luka froze for an instant, completely awake now, and he felt Marinette flinch and tense. Quickly he pressed his lips to the back of her neck, and slid his arm around her waist. “Let me know when you’re sure,” he murmured against her skin. “I’m waiting at the bottom to catch you.” 

He felt her sigh and relax, and then she rolled, scooting up close against him and pillowing her head on his shoulder. Luka held her, rubbing her back softly, and turned his head to bury his face in the pillow to keep himself from screaming. 

On his way out in the morning, Luka gave Alya a broad grin and a two-fingered salute.

***

“Girls, we have a problem,” Alya announced, plopping into a chair and slamming her to-go cup down on the table.

“Good morning to you too, Alya,” Alix muttered, face propped on her fist. “What the hell is it that you needed to talk to us about this early?”

“I met Marinette’s boytoy last night.”

Blank stares from around the table. Alya sighed. “The one night stand? The guy she’s been fucking every night she had free for the last month and more?” 

Alix raised her eyebrows. “Still not seeing the point. So Marinette’s getting laid. A lot. Good for her. Wasn’t it your idea for her to get back out there in the first place?” 

Alya slapped the table. “That’s just it! She’s not out there! She’s hung up on this dude and my point is that this isn’t like Marinette. You know she can’t just do random hookups. This has been going on for a month straight and you know she’s going to catch feelings, if she hasn’t already. And that guy, he—he’s not Marinette’s type . He’s got tattoos and piercings and dyed hair and his clothes are practically rags!” 

“Sounds hot,” Alix observed, and Alya rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not Marinette , and he’s definitely not the type who’s looking to settle down with one girl. He’s going to fuck her until she starts wanting more and then he’s going to break her heart. If we’re lucky. If we’re not, he’ll string her along with a bunch of promises, probably cheating on her the whole time, and then really break her heart. This isn’t the kind of relationship Marinette wants!” She waved her hands around for emphasis. “Marinette wants a house and a picket fence and a—a hamster. She needs husband material .” 

“It does seem like Marinette wouldn’t be satisfied with a purely physical relationship,” Mylène said hesitantly. “But are you sure this man is no good? What if he does like Marinette?” 

“They could totally fall in love! Opposites attract, you know!” Rose added, hooking her arm through Juleka’s with a giggle. “Maybe all Marinette needs is somebody a little bit different to take her mind off...you know. Him .” 

“Rose, there’s different and then there’s different, ” Alya sighed. “Some different is okay, but picking up punk guys in nightclubs is a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Mkay,” Alix sighed. “Even supposing we agreed with you, and I’m not saying we do, what would we even do about it?” 

“What we need is a distraction,” Alya said, tapping a finger on the table as her brow furrowed in thought. “Someone who can get her mind off of her fuckbuddy and back to thinking about kids and hamsters.” 

For a moment the girls sat in silence. 

“Well,” Juleka said slowly, as heads turned toward her. “There’s my brother, I suppose. He just got back into town a couple months ago.”

“Oh, that’s true!” Rose exclaimed, laying a finger alongside her cheek as she thought. “Ooh, that could work, Juleka. I mean, if Marinette and this guy are in love, then she’ll just be making a new friend, right? And if Alya’s right, then there’s no harm in just introducing Marinette to someone else.”

Juleka shrugged. “Hard to say with him though, whether he’ll be into Marinette. He’ll either get bored or fall hard. He likes creative types—“

“That’s definitely Marinette,” Alix said dully.

“People who are honest—transparent, even.”

Alix snorted. “Also Marinette.”

Juleka was looking even more thoughtful. “People who don’t back down, who think outside the box...yeah, we could try it.” She shrugged. “Don’t know what Marinette’ll think of him, though.”

“He is very handsome,” Rose pointed out. “Not much like— you know , but that might work in our favor after everything. He looks a little bit like Keanu Reeves, and you know Marinette loves him.” 

Juleka snorted. “He wishes he looked like Keanu Reeves.”

“They have the same vibe,” Rose defended. 

Juleka just shook her head. “Well, if Marinette’s into ink and piercings and the whole bad boy look right now, it shouldn’t be a problem, anyway. Dumbass looks like the rough type but he’s a total teddy bear. Best of both worlds, I guess.” 

“Okay, I’ve heard enough,” Alya declared, clapping her hands. “Plan A. Juleka and Rose are throwing a housewarming party.”

“We are?” chorused Rose and Juleka.

“We’ll invite Marinette, Juleka’s brother will be there, we get them together, and they hit it off, and she kicks her loser booty call to the curb. Problem solved.” Alya nodded firmly. 

Alix dropped her head onto her arms. “What’s plan B?” she mumbled. “Seems like this whole plan could fall apart if they end up not liking each other.”

Alya waved a hand dismissively. “We’ll figure that out after we see how this one goes. I’ll have thought of something before the party.”  

***

“This is a pleasant surprise,” Marinette said, tucking the phone between her shoulder and ear as she folded her laundry. “I didn’t expect to hear from you today. I thought you had plans tonight.” 

“I do,” Luka replied. “I just have a few minutes and I wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh?” Marinette frowned. “What?”

“Well, I had a very interesting conversation with my sister today,” Luka told her, and she could hear amusement in his voice. “She invited me to a party later this week. Said there’s a friend of hers she’d like me to meet. Thought we might hit it off .”

“O-oh,” Marinette managed, dropping the shirt she held. “Really?” Insecurity flooded up and threatened to drown her. Aside from that one late night conversation, they hadn’t really revisited their relationship status. She hadn’t had the courage to bring it up again. If Luka wanted to meet someone else, he was still technically free to do so, but...but she’d thought...

“Yeah, maybe you know her,” Luka laughed. “She’s in your field, after all. Some hot-shot, up and coming designer named Marinette Dupain-Cheng .” 

“Oh. Oh. ” Marinette’s eyes widened, and then she frowned. “Wait, do I know your sister?”

“Well, that’s what I called to find out.” Luka snorted softly. “Know a Juleka Couffaine by any chance?” 

“Juleka?” Marinette shrieked. “You’re related to—how did I not know that? Why didn’t she ever say anything? Why didn’t you?” She racked her brains, thinking back. 

“Mm, generally we’ve been busy not saying other things. Gotta say Jules hasn’t exactly been on my mind when we’re together.” His low chuckle made Marinette blush. 

“Right.” Marinette blushed. “And I suppose I never mentioned your name to her, and Alya just calls you—” She stopped, embarrassed.

“What?” Luka asked, humor in his voice.

“My, um...boytoy.” Luka laughed uproariously, and Marinette began to giggle again. “Or sometimes things that aren’t quite so nice. She thinks you’re not good for me. Because...because of how we met, and all. Um.” She took a breath, hesitating, but then remembered that awful feeling just moments ago when it seemed like the floor had dropped out from under her, and decided it was time to put everything on the table. “She thinks you’re just in it for the sex, and I’m going to get invested and end up getting hurt.” 

“Oh, I see.” Luka drawled. “As if I haven’t been head over heels for you since the moment I saw you.” Marinette blushed, and bit her lip, but Luka went on before she could say anything. “I get it. Sounds to me like your roommate’s trying to set you up with someone who’ll take care of you. Get you away from that sex-crazed loser that’s seduced her poor little innocent bestie.” 

Marinette buried her face, phone and all, into the throw pillow next to her and giggled until her sides hurt and she was gasping.

“Are you done?” Luka asked, still sounding amused, when the giggling finally subsided. “Or do I need to send someone over there to administer oxygen?” 

“I’m fine,” Marinette snickered. “Listen, Luka, my friends are having a party next week and I’ve got this weird feeling they’re trying to set me up. Will you come be my date to Juleka’s party? Maybe—“ She steeled herself and took the plunge. “Maybe if I introduce them to my boyfriend , they’ll back off.

There was a moment of silence. Marinette forgot to breathe.

“I’m going to need you to say that again when we’re in the same room,” Luka said, voice deliciously deep and husky, “So I can kiss you properly. Can you come over?”

Air rushed out of her. “Aren’t you busy tonight?” she asked, and smiled at the sound of his laugh. 

“Not anymore.” 

“Are you sure?” she teased. “I thought you had plans.” 

“Consider them cancelled,” Luka told her, “Get your gorgeous ass over here.” 

She did, and after she had said it again, after the kissing and the other soft words, after the more-than-kissing, they cuddled close, happy, sated, and basking in their newly upgraded relationship. Marinette felt Luka stir and prop himself on his elbow.

“You know,” he said, his breath washing across her cheek. “I’m thinking about this party the girls are planning.”

“Do you still want to go?” Marinette asked, reaching up 

“Absolutely,” he said, and then his voice dropped, making her shiver slightly as he nuzzled her ear. “But why don’t we make things a little interesting.”  He whispered his plan in Marinette’s ear, and she began to giggle. 

***

Juleka sighed as she looked at their new apartment, cleaned and decorated without a scrap of cardboard left in the place, and gazed with exasperated fondness on all the little finger sandwiches and appetizers Rose had spent all day making. Luka had better appreciate this, she thought, as she pasted on a smile and started letting in the guests that began to arrive in ones and twos. Well, at least Rose was happy. Any excuse to bust out the glitter and craft paper and try out all these super cute recipes she found on Pinterest.

Juleka was genuinely happy to see Luka, though, when he finally knocked on the door. Her schedule had been packed lately, which was great from a career standpoint, but she hadn’t seen as much of him as she wanted to since he’d come back from his travels. She felt a little guilty that it had taken Alya’s plotting to get her to make room on her schedule to see him. 

Well, hopefully she was about to make up for it.

“Hey, Jules,” he said, kissing her cheek and then Rose’s. “Congratulations on the new place.” 

“Thanks,” Juleka half-smiled, all the admission she was willing to make that she was glad to see him. She was pleased to note that he’d listened to her admonishments and dressed up. He looked nice, in a black dress shirt open at the collar and jeans that were mostly intact. His sleeves were rolled up, exposing the tattoos on his arms, and the dye in his hair was bright and fresh. Good. Maybe he had half a shot with Marinette, if he didn’t open up his big mouth and screw it up. 

“We’re so glad you could make it, Luka!” Rose squealed, throwing her arms around his neck. Then she drew back with a dismayed expression. “Oh, but she’s not here yet.”

Luka shrugged. “That’s okay, I’m in no hurry. I meant to tell you, I’ve...actually been seeing someone, to be honest.” He had the grace to look sheepish, and winced at the way Juleka’s eyes widened.

“What?” she asked sharply, and then smacked his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Luka shrugged, and Juleka’s heart sank at the stupid grin that spread over his face. “We weren’t really official until just a few days ago. After we talked about this. I don’t think I’ve put my guitar down since then except to pee, so…I kinda forgot.” 

“Gross,” Juleka muttered out of habit. 

“Oh,” cooed Rose, clasping her hands together, before grabbing Juleka’s arm and shaking her lightly. “Ohhh, he looks so happy!”

“I am happy,” Luka grinned. “Really, really happy. She’s amazing, I’ve never met anyone like her. It’s maybe too soon to say it, but...this could be it, you know?”

Juleka felt a little sick. She hadn’t realized she was so invested in setting up Luka and Marinette, but the crushing disappointment she now felt said she was. She liked Marinette a lot, and she loved Luka more than almost anyone else in the world, and the more she considered the idea of them together, the more she thought it could work. Even though she had told herself (and Rose) not to get her hopes up, she absolutely had. 

But Luka was practically glowing, so Juleka swallowed the sick feeling and told him she was happy for him. And she was, really. She had to be happy about anything that made him smile like that. As much as she would have liked to have Marinette for a sister, she wanted Luka’s happiness over all. 

She wasn’t looking forward to dealing with Alya, though. Focus. Luka was looking at her with a little hopeful half-smile on his face and Rose would kill her if she crushed his enthusiasm.

“Well, when you’re sure we won’t scare her off, bring her to dinner.” Juleka punched his arm lightly. “I have to meet the lunatic who would date you.” 

“Sure, sounds good. So, is there a tour?” Luka asked with a grin, and Rose bounced on her toes before grabbing onto his arm and tugging him further into the apartment. She gave Juleka one commiserating glance behind his back before she began introducing him to the small gathering of friends in their modest living room. 

Juleka sighed and stationed herself back by the door to head off Alya when she came in and warn her. 

The next person to show up, though, was Marinette, which was a bit surprising. She was supposed to be coming with Alya, and she wasn’t nearly as late as she usually was. Juleka felt like pouting as she looked over Marinette. She was dressed up too, in a chocolate brown dress that hugged her figure nicely to the waist, covered with a sheer lace overlay that ran up over her neck and shoulders. The skirt hung to her knees in sheer layers edged in scallops of pink lace that were piled thick enough to cover everything important, but thin enough to tease. Her hair was loose and flowing around her shoulders, and she was smiling so cheerfully, her blue eyes sparkling with excitement. She’d have been the perfect bait if the trap hadn’t already been sprung. Dammit, Luka , Juleka thought grumpily. You’re missing out, dumbass . 

“I brought cookies!” Marinette said breathlessly, holding up a cellophane-wrapped platter. “You can keep the plate, I got it for you.” 

Juleka mumbled her thanks, smiling at the combination of cookies shaped like roses and black bats on a platter that matched their new dishes. “Thanks, Marinette. That’s really thoughtful.”

“Of course,” Marinette grinned, bobbing on her toes a little. “I’m so excited for you guys!”

She looked so genuinely excited that Juleka had to smile. “Most everybody is here already,” Juleka told her, waving her on into the apartment. “Rose is in the back showing some people around, but she’ll be back up in a minute. Wine?” 

“Please,” Marinette said gratefully, and Juleka poured her a glass. “You did a great job of blending your styles, it looks so pretty in here, but, you know. Juleka pretty and not just Rose pretty. I really like what you did with the curtains—” 

Juleka let her ramble on, glancing at the clock now and again. Alya and Alix were due any minute and she had to head Alya off before she did anything...pushy. Luka didn’t like pushy. Marinette drifted into the living room to chat with some other friends—and damn, the front of that dress might be all sweetness and light but the back was really sexy. “Damn it, Luka,” Juleka muttered with a frustrated sigh. “This girl better be fucking incredible.”  

Luka was just following Rose back from the spare bedroom the girls were turning into a combination craft/music room, when he caught sight of Marinette chatting with a few other people in the living room.

Rose saw her almost at the same time, and gave a little squeal. “Marinette, you made it!” 

Marinette came to hug her, and Luka waited while they exchanged pleasantries, trying to keep his cool so he didn’t give anything away. Finally Rose remembered he was there and turned to him, tugging Marinette forward a little. 

“Oh, Marinette, this is Juleka’s brother Luka!” Rose chirped. “Luka, this is Marinette, the friend we were telling you about.” 

For a moment, they just looked at each other. Just long enough to give Rose pause. Then...

“Hi,” Luka said, grinning down at her. 

“Hi,” Marinette murmured, smiling up at him. 

 “You look good enough to eat,” he told her, settling a hand on her hip and tugging her closer. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Rose’s eyes widen and had to bite his lip to keep from laughing.

“Is that a promise?” Marinette winked, and the tremble in her voice said she was about to laugh too. 

He bent down and she pushed up and they met in a passionate kiss. Her arms went around his neck (she remembered just in time not to dump her wine down his back) and his hands found her back—which was mostly bare, he realized as he felt warm skin under his hands. The noise he made wasn’t very dignified but it would only add to the show; he slid his hands down her back and onto her ass. Just to really sell it, naturally. No doubt she was kneading his chest and shoulders for the same reason. 

Damn, she even tasted like chocolate, the little minx. He’d be willing to bet she did that on purpose.

Beside them, Rose practically had to stuff both fists in her mouth to keep herself from screaming. She looked around and grabbed Mylène’s arm, shaking her as Rose hopped up and down. 

“Rose, what is—oooohhh,” Mylène’s eyes went round as Rose spun her around to face the kissing couple. Rose leaned down and began to hiss excitedly into her ear. “Wait, slow down— what? ” Mylène slapped her own hands over her mouth and looked at Rose. 

“ I know!!” Rose whisper-squealed, reaching up to tug at her short hair with both hands. Both of them looked towards the door, where they could see Juleka letting in Alya and Alix.

“Marinette gave us the slip,” Alya said, rolling her eyes. “Something about needing to pick up a card or some nonsense. She’s looking good, though, which is a good thing for us, right? She’s got this cute little brown dress with pink and she looks like a chocolate strawberry macaroon.” 

“Wait till you see the back,” Alix grinned. “Just these two lace panels that meet between her shoulderblades and the rest is bare. Seriously hot. I’m totally begging her to make...” She trailed off as she looked at Juleka’s face. Juleka sighed.   

“Listen, Alya, I need to tell you—” Juleka began, but Alya interrupted her, her face scrunching up as she looked at something over Juleka’s shoulder.  

“Oh you’re kidding me, I can’t believe she brought him. What is she thinking?” Alya demanded, grabbing Juleka’s arm. “How could you let him in?” Juleka raised her eyebrows, but before she could say anything, Alix had leaned around them to see what Alya was looking at.

“What now?” Alix grumbled. 

“Marinette brought her boytoy,” Alya spat, frustrated. “I can’t believe her.” Juleka nearly laughed at the irony until connections started snapping together in her head. With a feeling of dawning horror, she paused and turned slowly to look behind her, just in time to see her brother sticking his tongue down her friend’s throat. I’ll kill him , she thought. “No wonder she didn’t give me any pushback when I suggested she dress up a little,” Alya muttered, but Juleka barely heard her. 

“Nice,” Alix said, still leaning around Juleka to see, eyebrows raising in appreciation. Then she frowned. “Hold on, isn’t that—” 

At the same time, Juleka blurted “Wait,” and Alix broke off as both she and Alya turned to look at Juleka, who had gone pale. “ That ’ s the guy Marinette went home with? The guy she’s been banging every chance she got since—”  A look of horror crossed her face. “That’s who she’s been telling us—oh, gross. ” She put a hand over her mouth, sure she was about to vomit. “Oh my God, I don’t know what I did to deserve this but I deeply regret whatever it was.” 

“Never mind all that, we have to find a way to get him out of here before your brother shows up,” Alya hissed. 

Juleka groaned and put her face in her hands. 

Alix began to laugh. “I do feel sorry for you,” she told Juleka. “I really do. I definitely wouldn’t want to know any of that about my brother.” She paused, and made a face, turning slightly green. “Oh God, did not need that mental image, and mine’s not even real.” 

“I’m gonna hurl,” Juleka mumbled. “I can’t believe I have to live with this knowledge.”

Across the room, Marinette broke their kiss long enough to ask, breathlessly, “Think they got the point?” Luka glanced up and began to laugh into her hair as she nibbled his collarbone. 

“Juleka’s face is priceless right now.” He dropped his head and licked her neck, before moving his face up to whisper in her ear. “If we don’t get out of here right now I’m going to bust a gut and ruin everything.” 

“Then by all means, let’s go,” she giggled. “Tell me the next time they look over.” 

Luka glanced up. “Now.” 

Marinette slipped her hand between his legs and squeezed, making him jump with a “whoa.” 

“Sorry. Too much?” Marinette whispered. 

“Not if we’re leaving right now,” he grinned back, and let Marinette take his hand, giving him her best bedroom eyes as she backed towards the door, tugging him along. He didn’t even have to feign the dopey look on his face as he stared back at her. As they passed the knot of her friends, all staring saucer-eyed at them, she waved at them.

“Thanks for inviting me, Juleka! Sorry I have to bow out early, but um...I have something to take care of,” Marinette giggled, handing her wine glass to Alix as she kept towing Luka towards the door. He smirked at Juleka and winked.

“I’ll text you about dinner,” he called over his shoulder, laughing, and then grabbed Marinette’s ass just before they stepped out of the door.

“Holy fuck,” Alix muttered, still gaping at the door. “Was that really Marinette Dupain-Cheng?” She began to laugh. “I am so fucking proud.” 

“This isn’t funny!” Alya hissed. “This is a disaster!” 

“Oh, it’s hilarious,” Alix gasped, barely able to breathe, and Rose and Mylène nodded, both giggling. Rose squealed, bouncing on her toes. 

“This is amazing, I can’t believe it, it’s like fate or something—”

“I’m not sure that’s how fate works.” Mylène was trying to hold in her laughter for Alya’s sake. “But they certainly seem happy together.” 

Juleka, still looking a little green, put her hand on Alya’s shoulder before Alya could retort. “Look, it’s fine. You don’t have to worry about her. Luka’s the only person on the planet who’s a bigger sap than Marinette. If he’s into her, he’s all in.” Remembering the way Luka had been glowing when he’d talked about his new girl—when he talked about Marinette —she managed a tiny smile despite her nausea. If Luka got his way maybe she’d have Marinette for a sister-in-law after all. 

It was wiped away a second later as Alix guffawed, “Oh, she loves him being all in,” and Juleka groaned. 

“I need alcohol now ,” she grumbled. “I am going to give him so much shit in the wedding speech to make up for this.”

***

Outside, Luka and Marinette got to the elevators, and then collapsed against the wall in a brief fit of giggles.

“That was brilliant,” Marinette laughed, squeezing Luka’s arm. “I’m so embarrassed but it was so worth it, did you see Alya’s face?” 

“Juleka’s gonna kill me,” Luka chortled. “I can’t wait. Come here.” He pulled her close and kissed her, softer and more carefully than he had inside, and Marinette hummed with pleasure. Not that she hadn’t been enjoying their sloppy makeout, but this was more Luka’s style, and since she loved Luka, she—Marinette paused, and pulled back to look at him, biting her lip as he blinked and smiled softly at whatever he saw in her face. Marinette took a breath.

“I love you,” she said, keeping her eyes on his, though her pulse hammered in her veins. She hadn’t thought his eyes could get any softer, but he looked at her as if she was the greatest treasure in the world as he cupped her cheek and laid a soft kiss on her lips.  

“I love you too,” he said roughly, and gathered her up in his arms, squeezing her tight, lifting her off her feet as he squeezed her hard. 

Marinette giggled into his shoulder. “Poor Alya,” she muttered. “So wrong and so right at the same time.” She pulled back and kissed him again. “Take me home, before someone catches us making out in the hallway.” 

“Too late, dudes.” 

They both looked up, and Marinette’s mouth fell open as she saw Nino stepping out of the elevator with a pained expression. “Does the phrase get a room mean anything to you guys?” 

“Oh,” Marinette ducked her head sheepishly. “Sorry, Nino. By the way, this is Luka. He’s...Juleka’s brother?” 

Nino blinked, and then groaned. “Oh, shit.” 

Marinette giggled. “We’re um...we’re leaving now. Uh...Alya might be a teensie bit—” She held up her pinched fingers. “...stressed?” 

Nino rolled his eyes, but reached back to catch the elevator door for them before it closed. “Guess I’m on damage control,” he sighed, but with a grin. “Come on, get out of here.”  Needing no further encouragement, Marinette pulled Luka into the elevator. “Bring him to dinner or something next time,” Nino called as he let the door close. “We can’t keep meeting like this.” 

In the elevator, Luka and Marinette looked at each other. “Oops,” she whispered, and they both broke down laughing. Luka hugged her close, and Marinette sighed. “You know,” she mused. “As far as mistakes go…” She smiled up at him. “You’re the best one I ever made.” 

[bookishofalder]

Night Changes [One]

Night Changes Series Masterlist

Summary: It may have been years since Poe and the reader have seen one another, but that doesn’t make the emotional upheaval any easier to navigate for either of them.

Warnings: Fuck ton of angst, language, a lot of feelings, mentions of death and loss, grief. WC-5,780 (Jesus buckle up I guess!)

Poe was dreaming.

Nothing particularly special, but it was a dream nonetheless, a break from the usual nightmares that tended to invade his sleeping mind night after night when all he wanted was to succumb to the darkness for a few hours. The dream was more of a memory, a replaying of a night back on Yavin-4 so many years ago before he and Charlie had gone to flight school.

A night like every other, yet the humid evenings on Yavin 4 always did seem to hold a little mystery, like a warm blanket that wrapped one in a false sense of security; he could do anything. And on that evening, he had snuck some of his father’s good whiskey, the stuff from a planet far, far away, and gone to knock on Charlie’s window in the cover of darkness. It wasn’t exactly an uncommon occurrence, though the whiskey was a new addition.

Charlie had answered immediately, a big grin stretching across his face even before he saw what Poe had brought, the relief in that grin piquing his curiosity-why did he seem grateful that Poe was there? When he climbed through the window, he found you were already there, sat on the floor across the small bedroom with your back against the end of Charlie’s bed, your face wet with tears and he understood your brothers reaction.

Before Poe could ask what was wrong, Charlie noticed the bottle in Poe’s hands and tapped it excitedly, “Just what we needed! How do you do it, brother?” His voice was always so loud, but in the Horn household it wasn’t an issue. Your mother was asleep on the other side of the house and even if she did wake, she wouldn’t come in and begrudge a little teen rebellion. Poe really liked her for that, for trusting them, for never making him feel unwelcome.

“Didn’t realize it would come in so handy. What's going on, sweetheart?” The affectionate nickname had been around for years, so long now that he hardly noticed himself using it. He liked the way it tugged the corners of your lips up, even when you were sad. But he didn’t like that you were sad right now, his concern only growing when you pulled your knees to your chest and dropped your head to them, hiding your face and, no doubt, a fresh wave of tears.

You had always hated crying in front of them, for some reason. Charlie never cried, but Poe had no issues with sobbing outright in front of you both. He didn’t understand why you felt you had to hide it from him.

Without speaking, Charlie and Poe sat down on either side of you, your brother taking the whiskey and opening it, taking a small swig and huffing through the smoky burn.“Kid, you tell him.” He used that extra soft voice reserved only for you, his free hand reaching over to pat your foot on the ground next to him.

Poe had his shoulder pressed against yours. He knew you enjoyed how warm he always was, that you thought of him as your personal furnace, cuddling him even on warm days like this because you seemed to forever run a little chilly, or maybe you were just a touchy person and you were that comfortable with Poe.

After a few moments of quiet sniffling, you finally raised your head, setting your chin on your knees and staring straight ahead. “Gus ended things earlier.” You whispered into the moonlit room, your voice wavering somewhat with emotion, though Poe could sense it was more of embarrassment and disappointment of being dumped than that of actual heartbreak.

Poe felt an odd mixture of both anger and relief sweep through him, the latter of which he resolutely shoved away, into the far reaches of his mind to be stubbornly ignored. “That kriffing asshole! Who does he think he is, dumping our girl?” And truly, what the fuck audacity did that guy have? Did he not have eyes? Did he not spend just five minutes with you and feel like he was sitting in the company of a Sun, so bright and warm as you were?

You gave a watery laugh at his words, and Poe felt warmth pool in his chest; he was always good at making you laugh. He saw Charlie’s shoulders sag somewhat with relief upon hearing you, always so protective and yet he had difficulty reigning in some of your big emotions, often looking to Poe for his help.

“He said it was because I’m a prude. Because I wouldn’t, you know,” You broke off, and Poe glanced down at you to see you bite your lip briefly, eyes still forward, “He said there was no point going on dates if I wouldn’t even give him the chance to, and I quote, ‘appreciate your tits properly, at the least.’”

Poe turned to face you fully now, his eyes meeting Charlies over your head. His friend looked just as annoyed as Poe felt, hearing what that skinny piece of shit had dared to say to you. A silent agreement crossed between them then, Gus would be meeting their fists come morning. For now, though, Poe focused on you, tossing an arm around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to your hair, “He’s a prize fucking idiot, sweetheart, doesn’t know what he’s losing. Right, Charlie?”

“Exactly. Remember kid, no guy is ever going to deserve you because you are perfect. You don’t need to cry over someone who can’t see how lucky he is you even let him breathe the same air as you,” Charlie added his arm to your shoulders, curving under Poe’s, “Flyboy and I will take care of you, always.” He promised, and you nodded before reaching both hands up to grab each of theirs on your shoulders.

“Thank you.”

And Poe stayed the night, each of you taking turns to sip the whiskey until eventually sleep won out and Charlie crashed on his bed. You and Poe curled up on some pillows on the floor together, your head resting on his chest and even though he knew you were sad, which made him sad too, he couldn’t help but feel truly whole in those moments before sleep took over.

It was a good memory, one which he would have been content to remain in until the abrupt and incessant whirring and beeping of his droid woke him, Poe shooting up in his bed with a shout of surprise. “What? Are we being attacked?”

BB8 came to a stop near the edge of his bed, his noises growing quieter now that he’d woken Poe up.

“Buddy, it’s my day off. You better have a good reason for scaring the living hell out of me-“

The droid beeped again, clarifying his reason for interrupting his rest day. Interest piqued, Poe ran a hand over his face before planting his feet on the floor and leaning towards the droid.

“The new replacement is here? Guess that means the General wants me to come and meet them?”

BB8 confirmed, and now his alarming wake-up made more sense. The droid was as excited as Poe to meet his new second in command. He’d just lost his long-time friend, Jess Pava, to a new unit on an outpost for the Resistance. He’d recommended her for it, at her bequest, because he knew she’d be damn good for the role. But it didn’t make the loss any less disruptive; she’d been gone a few weeks now and he’d had to take on extra duties to compensate.

General Organa had profusely apologized to him a few times now, only explaining that the replacement was due back from a classified mission ‘soon’, and once they were they would be coming straight to D’Qar to join his squadron. He didn’t mind the work, but he was a little miffed that the day the new Major arrived was his only day off.

Poe quickly got himself ready for the day, taking a speedy shower in his fresher before pulling on his khaki’s and button up. Once pleased with his appearance, he stepped out of the fresher and walked toward his small desk area, above which he had a corkboard with a few mementos pinned up, including his favourite picture.

You were standing in the middle, sandwiched between him and Charlie, a big, goofy grin on your face. Charlie was laughing in the photo, and Poe was looking down at you with a fond smile. You all wore flight suits, as it was taking when you had first joined Gold Squadron. Charlie had his arm flung over your shoulders while Poe’s was snaked around your waist. You had your arms wrapped around each of their waists, though Poe remembers how your hand had brushed up his back before the picture was taken, fingers unknowingly leaving a trail of heat in their wake.

He looked at this photo every morning, tapped it once and then carried on with his day. It was the only time he allowed his conscious mind to think of Charlie, of you, and the life he lost in the blink of an eye.

When the door to his quarters opened, Poe saw a few service droids unloading a couple of crates into the room directly across from his. The room where the new member of his team would live. He could see within the unit as the door was open for the droids to carry items in, a few cases already inside the otherwise bare space.

Being careful to step around the droids and avoid falling over his own, who was wheeling excitedly along next to Poe, he made his way to command, hoping the introductions wouldn’t take too long. He had woken up with a big appetite.

And he really needed his morning caf.

“Ready to meet them, buddy?” He asked of his droid, and BB8 gave a happy little ‘weeee’ as he zoomed along beside Poe. He laughed loudly and BB8 pulled ahead, the doors of the command room opening at their approach.

Poe could see into the room now, activity within quiet enough that General Organa and the new arrival both heard his laughter and turned as he walked into the room. For a few beats, Poe kept walking, his mind not processing what he was seeing because it simply could not be. And then he froze, mid-stride.

It was you.

And from the patch on your uniform, it was now Major Horn.

And just like that, every emotion, every feeling of guilt and self-hatred and heartbreak came roaring to the surface, breaking through the walls he’d so carefully built up around what he’d done when he lost Charlie, when he’d lost you, walls he spent the last few years reinforcing as best he could.

Leia knew of the history, though she didn’t know any details of why neither of you had spoken since that terrible fucking night. She simply knew you’d all grown up together, which was probably why she hadn’t felt the need to warn Poe that it was you coming to take over as his second in command. Maybe she thought you had kept in touch and were expecting her.

Stars, Poe hadn’t seen you in person since the funeral. The night he ruined the best thing he had in his life because he couldn’t deal with his grief and took it all out on you, of all people. Poe thought of Charlie then because your brother and you looked a bit alike, but it was your eyes; you each had the exact same eyes. Though yours were lined with thick, long lashes that would sometimes tickle Poe’s cheeks when you would lean in and press a chaste kiss to them.

It had only been a few years, but so much about you had changed. Gone was the goofy girl with braids falling past her shoulders, her big smile that stretched from ear to ear. No, now Poe was looking at you and you were all grown up, wearing your uniform, hair pulled back into a low bun that was woven with intricate braids, a few wisps framing your face. You had leaned out slightly, though you still had your curves, the ones that had boy after boy falling for you back in the day-no doubt now it was man after man. He found his eyes flicking from your face to your hands, but he saw no ring. Not that he should even be thinking of whether you were single or not.

But somehow, it felt like he should know if you were with someone. Because Charlie would have expected Poe to always keep an eye on you, be there for you. The only person he let down more than Charlie was you. He knew his best friend would murder him if he knew the things Poe had said to you that night. He had never known a greater regret, a regret that he carried with him since the moment he spoke and watched your face contort in pain, as though he’d hit you with a physical blow.

He had wanted to apologize, to take it all back that very moment. He couldn’t believe himself, but you’d pull away to be sick and he was so shocked at how much he’d managed to hurt you that he couldn’t do anything other than listen to you when you ordered him to get away from you.

The irony of that wasn’t lost on him, either.

He’d walked straight to the hangar where his x-wing was parked and took it out, finding a secluded spot a few hours away to camp for two days, just to clear his head. He cried and grieved and then he realized just how badly he’d fucked up and he panicked. He started to plan how he would apologize, what he would do to earn your forgiveness and then tell you how he truly felt. But he failed you, hurt you, and he knew he had a lot of work ahead to repair what he’d broken.

Only, when he came back to base and sought you out, he instead found Jess and Tommy waiting for him by your room, their faces so grim his heart had stopped in his chest, and he’s not sure it ever restarted once he found out you’d left. Without a word or a note, you had just...deserted him.

And he knew he deserved it, but it didn’t make it hurt any less. Nor did finding out that you’d been clever enough to have your new assignment sealed, eliminating any chance he could have had of going after you.

And he would have. He’d have flown across the galaxy to find you.

Instead, Poe was alone and never, ever forgave himself for being the reason you had fled in the first place.

Eventually, Poe grew enough in rank that he was able to access your private files. He only did so now and again, just to check-in and make sure you were still alive and on active duty. The last time he’d checked had been about five months ago, and it had stated you were on a classified mission that even he couldn’t access the details of. But he knew you were alive and doing well enough that you were getting assigned seriously high-class missions. Charlie would have been so proud of you.

It was a few awkward moments before Poe was able to function, quickly shaking off his shock and continuing forward, his eyes tearing away from your too-blank expression to meet the warm gaze of General Organa. “Commander Dameron, I believe you know Major Horn here. Thank you for coming to greet her with me this morning.” Leia smiled between him and you, and Poe had to swallow before returning it, breaking out his usual grin.

When he looked back at you, he found your blank expression had now morphed into one of utter contempt. An insane part of him wanted to laugh, because how could (y/n) Horn, his best friend since he was a boy, the girl who had owned his heart, ever look at him like that?

Instead, Poe forced a friendly smile, nodding to you politely, “Welcome, Major. It’s...it’s good to see you. And congratulations on your promotion. I’m happy to have you join our team.” He stuck his hand out and hoped you would grasp it.

Your eyes, so much more intense than he ever remembered, searched his face for a second before you took his proffered hand and shook, a small smile appearing on your lips.

“It’s an honour to be here, Commander.” You replied, and Poe had to blink, pulling his hand way almost too quickly. Stars, you even sounded more grown-up. Your voice had always been a little breathy, which Poe had always found alluring. But now it had matured, the breathless way you spoke now demure, feminine.  

“I was just telling Major Horn that after you two had met the day was open,” Leia said, seemingly unaware of the tension between her two best pilots, “I know you earned this day off, Commander, so enjoy it!”

Poe couldn’t help but give her a wide grin, “Thank you, General.”  

“Yes, thank you for taking the time to...reunite us, General.” You said, excusing yourself before abruptly walking past Poe and out of command.

He rushed after you, BB8 still at his side, now beeping in confusion at what the hell was going on. Poe ignored the droid, catching up to you just down the hall. “Wait...(y/n)...”

He trailed off, unsure of what he could even say to you, questioning why he’d stopped your departure. You ceased walking and turned to look at Poe, your expression now openly hostile, which he knew he deserved yet it still stung. He opened and closed his mouth a few times as he stood before you, a huge part of him wishing you’d start yelling at him. Or hitting him.

Instead, you gazed up at Poe and after a moment your face fell, a storm of emotions rolling across your pretty features. You took a careful, measured step back from him, as if afraid he might try and reach out to you. “I didn’t know I was coming here to be on your team,” You didn’t meet his eyes when you spoke, instead focusing on the droid at his feet, “But this is a big opportunity for me, so we’ll make it work.”

You sounded more like you were trying to convince yourself rather than Poe, but he nodded all the same. “Of course. And you deserve it.”

You scoffed, “Thanks so much, Commander.”

“I’ve missed you.”

He didn’t know what possessed him to say that. It was just that one moment you were biting your lip, and then the next you were giving him a familiar look of incredulity that he remembered receiving more than once growing up and he suddenly needed you to hear that he did miss you. Missed you more than you could ever really know.

Poe saw a flash in your eyes before you spun on your heels and marched away, not looking back. He didn’t try to follow you again. He knew there wasn’t a whole lot he could say, not right now when you were both still reeling from the shock of seeing one another again.

And what could he even say to you? Sorry for taking our friendship and smashing it to pieces at the worst possible time? For never speaking to you again because I was too cowardly to try and find you, especially once I realized how deeply I felt for you? And how could he explain how those feelings seemed to develop over such a long time that he didn’t recognize them for what they truly were until you were gone?

Charlie would have hated what had happened between you both. He would have killed Poe, easily, but he’d had also been disappointed in you. Charlie had protected you both that day because you and Poe were his family, and if he found out that his family never spoke again after the funeral? He’d have been livid.

Guilt and regret now at the forefront of his mind, Poe had lost his appetite. Instead, he found the nearest caf machine before hurrying to the flight deck and climbing in his x-wing eager to get off the ground and clear his head for a few hours.

He spent the rest of the morning thinking about Charlie, his heart tight in his chest.

✨

“I’ve missed you.”

You could hit him, you really could. No one was around, either, you might get away with it. But that would be too easy and not nearly as satisfying as you might hope, you knew.

The audacity of Poe fucking Dameron saying he missed you was so infuriating, you briefly considered violence. But you had grown up with him, knew the way he worked even if it had been a few years. You could hate him and still understand him, which meant that he wanted you to give him a strong reaction that he could confront head-on. Scream and punch and cry and he would instantly work to comfort, to apologize, but it was really just a way to make himself feel better.

You wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

You spun away-not before seeing the pained expression cross his face-and hurried off. You figured if you still had such a decent read on him, the same went for Poe. He’d always been able to read you, your body language, expressions, hell Charlie usually went to Poe for help when he couldn’t figure out how to support you, comfort you.

You needed some time alone, time to process and figure out the best way to make this work.

When you were invited by the General herself to come to D’Qar, to work under her ‘top pilot and most trusted Commander’, you hadn't blinked before saying yes. And you’d known that it would mean, inevitably, seeing Poe again-you knew he still worked here. But you’d had no idea until he walked into command that morning that it was his team you were joining.

When you’d been standing with General Organa in the control room, chatting amicably about the weather, the very last thing you’d expected to hear was his booming, rich laugh. And then the doors had opened, a small droid whizzing in, and his laughter continued as he stepped into the room. You had thought you might pass out, throw up, or start screaming.  

With no idea what he was doing there, you had simply stared at him, watched as he reacted to seeing you. Actively working to keep your expression blank, you stared at your once best friend for the first time in years, going numb inside.

In some ways it had been almost comical; he’d frozen mid-step and gaped at you stupidly for a few beats before coming to his senses and continuing forward. And it was at that moment you had realized he was the superior you were meeting. He was the Commander you’d be working under. When he stood directly in front of you, your mind betrayed you by immediately zoning in on one specific thought.

But stars, he’d aged well.

When he finally was able to collect himself enough to wipe the surprise off of his face, it had settled into that easy smile you remembered so well. The one you tried to never think of because of the pain that would build in your chest, the memories and feelings that you had refused to look back on for a very long time now at risk of bursting through your mental walls if you weren’t careful.

Now, that smile revealed a slight crinkling around his eyes, though he hadn’t changed much beyond that. He was just as broad and lean as you remembered, just as handsome and you thought he might be a little more built up, a new layer of muscle moving under his button-up. Charlie would have loved to tease him over the grey flecks you could barely discern in his raven locks, and you suddenly wondered if your brother would have had any grey hair himself.

Those thoughts were fleeting at that moment before fury and sadness and longing were suddenly overtaking you and it was all you could do to remain composed in front of the General when, for the first time in years, you wanted to crumble to the ground. That fucking grin of his, it was always maddening, always so attractive and disarming.

When you were kids, he’d do it to get away with something and even though your parents knew he’d done it, it would work and he’d barely get a slap on the wrist. As teenagers, the strongest memory you had of that grin was one time when he’d climbed into Charlie’s room late at night and your brother wasn’t there-he’d fallen asleep on the couch-so Poe wandered to your room.

You had just gotten out of the fresher, having taken a quick rinse off to cool down, and hadn’t shut the door. Your bedroom door was closed and it was the middle of the night; you hadn’t expected any company. And then Poe just sauntered in, his eyes on your bed where he doubtless thought he’d find you. You had barely had time to freeze, completely naked and mid-stride as you sought a clean nightgown when he seemed to sense you. His head had jerked in your direction in surprise.

That memory forever burned into your mind. The way his eyes had fallen, then snapped up to your face and instead of seeing amusement or a pervy smirk, Poe had slapped his hands over his eyes, cursed, apologized vehemently in a loud whisper, and then he grinned. That grin, just as powerful even though his eyes were covered. It spread across his face and you couldn’t help but laugh despite your embarrassment, quickly throwing on a nightgown before walking over and punching him in the sides a few times, hissing didn’t he know how to knock?

And though you worried it might affect things between you and your best friend, it never did seem to. For you, it did in some ways because you couldn’t seem to get the look on his face (the one that slipped out just before he could properly react and compose himself) out of your head and you wondered what it meant-if anything. He still stayed the night, climbing into your bed, his arms casually behind his head as he laid next to you and told you about his day while never once teasing you.

At one point, when sleep was close, eyes drooping and your cheek resting against his arm, Poe’s soft voice had pulled you from unconsciousness. Barely a whisper, he said, “I really am sorry I came in without knocking, sweetheart. Please forgive me.”

And he’d sounded so concerned, so genuinely stressed that you would be mad at him, you had snuggled closer into his side and murmured your reassurances until eventually, you fell asleep.

Today, however, it was only memories of what that smile used to mean to you and anger for what it was now. That he got to keep that easy fucking grin all these years, it only pissed you off. The logical part of you knew he had been just as surprised to see you and was no doubt struggling himself now, but you didn’t have room to care.

He had been the one to break you, to take your friendship and pulverize it by saying the worst possible things to you.

He had broken you.

That fight hadn’t just been the loss of what you had thought was the greatest friendship in the galaxy. It had been the final moment that took your life from carefree and fun to what it was now, what it had been since. Joyless, lacking, lonely-so fucking lonely.

That had been the night you had to grow up, realizing that not only was Charlie gone, but the life you’d had was too. Gone were the days of adventure, of going on test flights and racing one another, of Poe getting you drinks at the cantina and Charlie sitting with his arm slung casually over your shoulders, until any of you spotted someone who caught your interest. Someone who would only be around for the night but would bring a little pleasure and escape. Charlie was more often the one to go home with such a person, happy to play the field and often making new friends you’d see again, even though he never exclusively dated them.

And the little flare of excitement you’d get each time it was just you and Poe? That had been carefree too because whatever it meant didn’t need to be examined, it just was. Casual touches that lingered and sent heat up your spine, easy and flowing conversation, long hugs even when you’d see each other the next day. All of that had been such a prominent fixture in your life, the slow escalation between you and Poe was something that, to this day, you never tried to understand.

But then Charlie died; everything changed, and you left and never looked back. All the while, Poe Dameron kept grinning like that. Fuck, fuck!

You almost walked straight past your new room, so lost in your thoughts and memories, but thankfully a passing droid greeting you politely pulled to the moment, and you only had to retrace a few steps back. Immense relief washed over you the moment you saw that all of your items had been delivered and unpacked, only a box of mementos and photos left on your desk for you to find new homes for.

Even the bed had been made already. And as much as you wanted to just climb under the covers and shut the world away, you instead set yourself to the task of putting the final touches on your space.

The room was silent save for your occasional gasps and hiccups as you let your emotions run free in the privacy. You proudly displayed the plaque you had been given from the Resistance following Charlie’s funeral; a handsome photo of him in uniform set in the middle, his name inscribed along with his rank, years of life and final resting place on Yavin-4. His flight suit patch was attached to the plaque above the photo, the final touch to a beautiful little tribute to Charlie that you could take with you wherever in the galaxy you went.

The final item you pulled out was a small protective album for photos you displayed in your room. You pulled out the photos, ones of you and Charlie as kids, of your parents, of the whole family plus Poe during one hilariously disastrous little vacation that resulted in all of you returning home and ignoring one another for three days, even Poe. A few from your teen years, early and late, Poe and Charlie usually taking up the most space in the photos between their sizes and huge smiles, and the final photo you had was your absolute favourite.

Smushed between Charlie and Poe, you had a smile on your face that hadn’t been seen in years. It was silly, girlish and youthful and not the person you were anymore. You were looking at the camera, Charlie with his big arm over the top of your shoulders, laughing as he looked toward the camera as well. Poe was looking at you. Giving you a warm smile that you always suspected he only shared with you, one that melted his eyes to pools of warm honey and made your insides wriggle. You remember how his hand burned where he gripped your waist, and you had instinctively traced your hand up his spine in the moment, though you never understood why.  

That photo both broke your heart and made you smile every time you looked at it. The last photo of the three of you together, the three of you happy. A photo that not only showed your love for one another but also hinted at that feeling you never did examine. A photo that revealed that feeling might not have been one-sided, not at all.

When you finished your tidying, you took a seat at your desk and used your data pad to pull up your schedule, curious what the days ahead would look like. Right away you could see no missions in the queue, though that could change in an instant. And as eager as you were to get flying, you knew it would probably be best to spend the next couple of days trying to establish yourself on base, meet the rest of your team, and figure out how you were going to keep a cool head spending so much time working with Poe.

With a heavy sigh, you glanced at the clock and decided a late lunch was in order, hopeful that the weird hour would leave the caf quiet. Although you knew you’d be recognized you did hope to push that off for as long as possible.  

You needed to swallow back your feelings and face the fact that you weren’t just working directly for General Leia. You were back on D’Qar; a planet that Charlie had spent enough time on, even before you joined Gold Squadron, to make lasting friendships and leave an incredible reputation behind after he’d died. You hadn’t been back since the funeral, so it was inevitable that others would be bringing him up, asking after you, where you had disappeared to, why you’d left without saying goodbye to pretty much everyone.

You needed to suck it up because you had a job to do and your work for the Resistance was the only thing anymore that made your life worthwhile. No family, no close friends, no partners, just fighting the fight and being the best damn pilot you could be.

You wondered if Charlie would be proud of you. Of how far you’d come, of the fact that you were now the same rank as he had been before his death. But after seeing Poe today you knew that wouldn’t have entirely been the case, not with how things all ended up.

So, you reasoned with yourself, that meant that you had to work extra hard here on D’Qar to push aside the history between you and your Commander. And actually, indifference and coldness were probably going to be your best assets going forward.

At least you had a game plan.

Taglist

@mermaidxatxheart

@foxilayde

@eleinemk

@paintballkid711

@mylifeisactuallyamess

@20th-centu-fairy-girl

[cryptidcutiesstuff]

I’m Stronger than you think!

this is a Bucky x reader thing i decided to write. the story is actually my own OC’s backstory so i would appreciate if you didn’t take any “inspiration” for your own characters :) i just thought people would like to read it through their own eyes :D

in this chapter there isn’t any Bucky unfortunately, its just an introduction to Y/N, but Bucky should appear in upcoming chapters :D 

pairing: Bucky x Reader :) 

chapter 1

warnings: mentioned infertility and adultery

 I met him in Highschool, a nice sweet boy who helped me pick up my books that had been so carelessly pushed to the floor by a blonde haired wannabe. I was always bullied, sometimes for my appearance but mainly for my personality. Now you see being a strong independent woman was not very appealing in the 1930s, but for some reason he didn’t care about that. We went on dates, and eventually fell in love and were a couple for more than 4 years until he popped the big question. I thought everything was fine, I was happy, but apparently he wasn't. And it was because I was infertile, unable to have kids.

That lying son of a bitch! I stomped through the crowded office building in my black heels, angrily walking up to my car ready to drive away from him, how could he do this to me after everything. “Y/N, Please!” I turned around and tore off the chain of metal that was hanging round my neck, throwing it carelessly at the man who I once loved. He bought me that necklace on our first date. I always kept it on me “here! Keep it, or better yet give it to the nice secretary in the office!” I said as tears rolled down my flushed cheeks. 2 years we had been married, I cared for him, stayed at home for him, cooked, cleaned. I was even willing to bear his children if I was able but instead he betrayed me and my trusting nature.

“Y/N, I'm sorry, please forgive me!”  he pleaded, grabbing my hand. I pulled it away from his grip, “how long?” “what?” “how long have you been sleeping with her?” I looked into his eyes, my eyes being full of pain and sorrow. “A year and a half” he weakly stated, breaking eye contact with me. My eyes widened in disbelief, I had been ignorant for nearly the entirety of our marriage. “Why then?” he began to get irritated, curling his hands into a fist, “Joshua! Why?” I repeated. “Because you can't have children!” he shouted at me. I just stood there stunned, that simple sentence stabbed me straight through the heart. I quickly recomposed myself and then spoke up furious and yelled  “yeah. Believe me I know that! It's the one thing I am meant to do as a woman, and I can't do it! And I'm sorry that I can't!”  My outburst seemed to shut the both of us up. “Josh, obviously this isn't working any more, we don't work, so maybe…..maybe it's better that we go our separate ways, I'll stay with a friend temporarily, I'll go get my belongings now.” I said as I turned around, Joshua didn't say anything but watched me get into my car and drive away.

For the duration of the drive I was trying to contain the rest of the bottled emotion that was threatening to spill, I just needed to get to my friends current apartment, Peggy Carter, she was leaving in a few days for the war. When she told me her brother helped her get a place in the war as field agent I couldn't help but have my worries. Women weren't exactly treated well by men, and unfortunately she was going to be surrounded by them. How different things would be if women were respected and treated as a males equal, instead of being sexualised and thought as the “weaker sex”. Pulling my car up on the pavement, I momentarily sat there until I let my head drop onto the steering wheel, unbeknownst to me I slammed my forehead right into the car horn, causing a loud beep to rupture from the vehicle startling me. Clutching my heart I stepped out trying my best to ignore all the staring faces of the civilians around the area while walking over to Peggy’s apartment complex. I ran up to her door knocking on it frantically, she opened it wide not expecting me to be there. She looked at me, eyes softening when she saw my broken expression. “Oh Y/N darling.” her British accent rang through my ears as she invited me in for a hug. The exact moment she placed her head on top of mine was when I broke, I sobbed while she held me tightly, “what's the matter? What happened?”  “ Its Josh, he's been cheating on me for most of our marriage.” I said but I came out as a muffled sob from her shoulder. She pulled away, brushing hair behind my ear. “Oh Y/N, I'm so sorry. Tea and talk?” I sniffled and nodded in agreement as she shut the front door, walked over to the kitchen and placed the kettle over the stove.

When it was done, we began talking about Joshua and how I should have known he was cheating from the strange behaviour, he stayed out late often, didn't kiss me as much and never really wanted to get intimate with me. As the pieces added up I became more frustrated at myself for not noticing it earlier, I could have saved myself the heartbreak of finding him making out with his secretary in his office. I decided to flip through a few newspaper clippings Peggy kept on her kitchen island in an attempt to take my mind off Joshua. ”you could have punched him in the face you know.” Peggy piped up. “I know you're pretty good at a few hand to hand combat techniques courtesy of your father!” I looked up from the small newspaper clipping. “yeah, I know but I didn’t wanna waste my famous right hook on ‘im you know”  We burst out into a fit of giggles at the thought of Joshua on the ground. “You would probably be good at fighting in the war, Y/N.” I gave her the ‘yeah right’ face.

The conversation died down and a peaceful silence covered the room, the smell of the tea helped put my mind at ease a little. “So you’re going to war soon?” I broke the pause. “Yes I am, I'm quite excited actually, I'll be doing field work mostly but I hope I'll be of some help at least.”  I smiled “I’m sure that you’ll be great! it must be fun, I would give anything to go there myself. Maybe beat some sense into those brainless misogynistic pigs.” my smile turned into a smirk as Peggy laughed at my statement. “Well I could always recommend you to the colonel, he's the one that kind of runs the place.” I placed my china teacup down carefully onto its matching coaster. “Thanks for the offer peg, but I doubt they would even let me, a woman, near any tactical equipment.” there was a long pause once again until I made a quick snappy joke “unless I somehow dressed as a guy and infiltrated their army base.” I giggled at the silly thought, however Peggy didn't, I looked over cautiously not knowing if I had pushed any the wrong buttons. That was until I saw the look of determination in her eyes. “Peggy NO!”, “Peggy YES!”. 

“That’s a terrible idea! And what happens if they find out huh? What then?”  I crossed my arms looking at her from across the kitchen island. “By the time they find out it would be too late!”. “No Peggy it ain't happening, they wouldn't let me!” she stood there for a while “fine!” she sat down with a huff and we left it at that. We finished our tea and as the day began to end she walked me to my car, talking about when the war would be over, not knowing what the future would hold. Once I reached my car I threw my coat into the passenger's seat and closed the door for a moment while I gave Peggy a goodbye hug. “Thanks peg I needed that, I'll be on my way to Jacqueline's place, I'm staying there until I can get away from Joshua.” we parted and she gave me a gentle, reassuring smile. “You know that offer is still there.” “what offer?” there was a pause as I tried to remember what we spoke about, a light bulb went off in my head as it clicked. “PEGGY NO!” I stared at her in disbelief. “Y/N, come on, you know you really want to join. I could find someone willing to help you!” I knew she wasn't going to give up on asking me, so I reluctantly agreed. “Fine, you can try.'' I loved Peggy truly. but I unfortunately didn't have much faith that she would help me join the war. “Great! Well I hope you sort everything out with bloody Joshua.” I nodded in agreement and got into my car. I waved Peggy goodbye as I drove to Jacqueline’s ready to announce that I would be having a sleepover for a long while. Little did I know that I wouldn't be staying there for very long.

[captainchrisbaby]

A Little Bit of Heartache

Chris Evans x Reader

Authors note: Sorry about all the dark stuff this week :’) Hope you guys are enjoying reading it though <3 

Story Summary: Chris’ POV as he deals with the heartbreak of missing you

___________________________________________

I finish filling my tank and reach into the front seat for my wallet. I yawn as a skip to the door of the petrol station and politely greet the man behind the counter, keeping it short and hiding my face as much as possible to avoid additional conversation. The eftpos machine beeps as it accepts my payment and I give one last nod before heading straight for the exit. As I round the sliding door a woman slams straight into me causing me to step back steadying my feet, I swiftly reach out and grab her arms to stop her falling and she frantically apologises.

I take a breath in and her voice fades as the familiar scent of her perfume distracts my thoughts. My jaw clenches and my eyes flicker shut as the lump in my throat emerges. A memory carries me away and a let it play through my mind, her sweet pink lips curl up as her excited eyes watch me lift my spoon to my mouth. I remember how excited she was to share her grandmas famous ice cream recipe with me so I was ready to fake it if I didn’t like it. I drop some silky cream onto my tongue and giggle as she squirms in anticipation. “What do you think?” She squeals. My eyebrows shoot up in surprise as the delicious caramel flavour melts in my mouth. I nod as I swallow, “I’m actually impressed!” I laugh and she cheers adorably.

“Are you okay?” The woman’s voice cracks through my memory bringing me back to the store front.

“Oh, yes sorry.” I choke and slide past her racing for my car. I dive into the seat and start the motor immediately. I drop my eyes to my shaking hands on the wheel and force a deep breath to control the tears welling in my eyes.

Home couldn’t have felt further away but it only takes a few minutes before I’m sitting in my driveway. Pulling myself out I drag my feet inside and give Dodger a small pat on my way to the bedroom. I slide my hand under the bed and pull out the photo album labeled “Chris and Y/N” gliding my finger over her name. My first tear for the night falls. It’s been weeks since I have let her invade my thoughts and I finally felt like I had made progress.

I close my eyes and let another memory take control. Arriving home after a long day at work I walk around the corner into the lounge room to find all the lights off and a movie playing on the TV, there on the lounge under the huge cosy blanket is Y/N and Dodger wrapped in a cuddle sound asleep. I stood there for a few minutes watching them sleep and feeling so grateful, and then snapped a photo on my phone, moved Dodger and carried her to bed.

My eyes open as the memory fades and I wipe my soaked eyes. I turn the pages of the album until I reach that photo. The last memory I have with her begins to emerge and though I try to shut it out is plays so loudly through my thoughts.

“I thought I could put up with it all because I loved you and I wanted to be with you but I’m just not strong enough. This is your life, the good and the bad and I can’t change who you are. You are such an incredible person Chris but I just don’t think our paths were meant to cross in this life.” My hand reaches up and wipes her tear away and my head shakes as I cry with her begging her not to leave. It hurt so bad knowing it was the best thing for her but wishing she would just stay anyways.

She was so sweet and quiet and genuine but never dealt well with attention. Her anxiety and fears clashed with the lifestyle that accompanies fame and I will never understand the selfishness I felt to make her endure all of that so that I could have her.

“I love you so much.” I choked.

“I love you too, more than anything Chris. I came her to be with you and it was epic but a normal girl like me trying to keep up with all of this… it was never realistic.” She held herself so well, I knew she was breaking inside just as I was but she looked so brave and strong as she made the decision to do what was best for her.

The memory ends and let out a sob. I slam the album closed and gather myself. I sit staring blankly at the wall for fifteen minutes. Unlocking my phone I search for her name with the little heart next to it. I click it and begin typing a text message.

I just bumped into a lady at the store and her perfume smelt like yours. Is it bad that I hope you’re lonely and lost without me just because I’ve been? I know I said I just want you to be happy but I hate the thought of you being better off without me? Are you as close to giving up as I am? Does it kill you when you think about me? Because I feel like I’m dying, or maybe a part of me did die when you left and I just haven’t adjusted to living without it yet.

My finger hovers over the send button and as I begin to push down, a tear falls to my screen distracting me for a second. I sigh and wipe the drop away then hold my finger over the backspace button watching the heartfelt message disappear. I throw my phone behind me and lay back onto my pillow letting my self drift off. It feels like I’ve only just fallen asleep but the loud buzzing of the phones vibration wakes me up. I roll over and lift the device to my face squinting at its harsh brightness.

My heart skips a beat when I see the name on the caller ID. I don’t hesitate, I hit answer.

“Y/N?” I stutter.

“Hey Chris.” She whisper, evident relief drowning her voice at the sound of his.

“Are you ok?” I worry.

“I miss you…”

_____________________________

Love you favourite supporters always <3 @optimistic-dinosaur-nacho​ @cheeseburgersstuff​

[bucketslutz]

Get Out the Way

Chapter 3:  Sabotage

Summary: You were successful as a bounty hunter for a while, and now as a skilled fighter working in an arena. You were craving excitement, until a Mandalorian crosses your path and offers you the opportunity to help bring his kid back and avenge the death of someone you lost long ago. Working with the bucket-head, though, isn't going as smoothly as you thought. Will it all be worth it in the end?

You can read Get Out the Way on AO3 here.

Warnings: 18+ only pls, violence, gore, language, bounty hunting, enemies to lovers sorta, slow burn af, banter, grogu in danger, AFAB reader, badass female reader, yes reader is a bounty hunter, smut eventually but for now they hate each other

Chapter Summary: Mando and reader butt heads, yet again. At wits end, reader takes matters into her own hands to force Mando to take a break.

Your jaw still hurts. And it sure does look like it hurts too. The yellow halo around the purple, black, and blue bruise isn’t easy on the eyes. Who would’ve thought an old geezer like Brehan could’ve done something like that to your face. You’re still upset with Shiny over the way he spoke to you after the mission. You didn’t deserve that kind of treatment, no matter what the circumstances were that surrounded the argument. If it wasn’t for your quick thinking, Brehan would’ve escaped. Mando can be so temperamental, the slightest thing can push him over the edge. You’re tired of walking on eggshells around him so you’ve done your best to not speak to him during the trip through hyperspace. Better to avoid another argument altogether than to unintentionally start one. You’ve practically been alone this entire trip. Not like you’re not used to being alone. You’ve been by yourself for a while now and can make do; you eat by yourself, sleep by yourself, get drunk by yourself. You almost prefer it. There’s no disappointment when you’re alone. No one to tell you you’re not good enough and no one will have to leave. It’s better this way. You can save yourself from more heartbreak when you don’t let anyone near you; because when you don’t let anyone near you, you won’t get that hollow feeling in your chest when they inevitably leave you. So you’ve managed all these years with mindless hookups in alleyways behind cantinas. You’ve had a couple of those guys crawl back for more, but you did what you always did and shut them out. Can’t let someone get to know you, learn to love you, then want to leave you. It makes life more bearable. Surviving is easier than living; do what you need to do to get by, because pleasure is a luxury most cannot afford. You’d rather not waste your time on dreaming for what you can’t attain so instead you settle for what’s accessible, because that’s easy and something you don’t have to try for. It’s black and white and something you don’t have to spend too much time worrying about. You spend too much of your time thinking: what do they mean by that? Do they want to kill me? What if he doesn’t want to sleep with me? Why is he looking at me like that? Are they angry with me...? The times you can escape the thinking and just do are the most precious to you. The freedom of leaving anxious thoughts behind and doing without the stress of consequence is something you won’t take for granted. You’re strong, physically. You could take down men twice your size with your bare hands. And you’re adept with a blaster, whip, vibroblade, you name it. Your skills are something you’ve never had to question. Sometimes you get overwhelmed when thrown into intense situations, and thoughts along the lines of “I won’t make it out of here alive,” begin to cross your mind. But then the action begins. And you no longer question it, and just do. That’s the one luxury you can afford.

You start to take notice to the ambiance of hyperspace; the subtle chiming and beeping of the ship, the dull hum as the ship traverses through lightspeed, and the absence of a particular heavily armored presence. Eventually, you gain complete consciousness and your heavy eyes open completely. Your back doesn’t hurt this time, thankfully. You decided to lay down on the floor to rest instead of with your back against one of the crates. You can only assume you’re alone in here, you’ve no clue if Shiny is in the cockpit or his cot, and you don’t really care to check either. You didn’t realize how strenuous this mission would be. Your body hasn’t felt this tired and achy since you hunted for bounties. But, stars, you missed that feeling; sleeping when you can, your body fighting signs of fatigue, always on the move. It made you feel alive. It’s a feeling you couldn’t recreate, and having spent so much time away from that side of your life, it’s been hard to feel that alive again. Until now, as you’re fulfilling a promise you made to yourself so long ago. Even though you’re working with Mr. Hotheaded-Bucket-Face, you’re still happy to be back in action. He’s got maker-given talent, but dank farrik is he a pain in the ass to work with.

Red lights above your head begin to flash and the ship starts to chime. You were confused; a trip from Numidian Prime to Sriluur would take longer than a day. You shouldn’t be dropping out of hyperspace so soon. The door that conceals Mando’s cot slides open and you whip your head towards the disturbance. He slips out and climbs up the ladder to the cockpit before you can even ask him why you’ve dropped out of hyperspace so soon. Deciding to find out where he’s taking you both, you ascend the ladder and enter the already-parted doorway to the cockpit. Through the transparisteel, you fail to recognize the planet you’ve come upon. The way in which he always fails to communicate the most basic things, will never cease to amaze you.

“This isn’t Sriluur, you mind to indulge me as to where you’ve decided to take us?” you inquire, your tone bitter and caustic.

He reaches above his head and flicks various switches, as his right hand remains on one of the toggles that steers the ship.

“I’m stopping on Raxus for a brief layover. We’ll be in and out. I just need to fuel up the ship before I make the jump to Sriluur,” he says directly.

A layover didn’t sound like a bad idea. The ship needed the fuel, and maybe a good once-over. You’d hate it if something internally happened to the ship on Sriluur, especially if you both needed to make a quick escape. You can’t have the Crest suddenly decide to break down on you both if you need it desperately to get you guys out of a tight spot. Plus, maybe you could finally get a shower and some decent sleep on an actual bed while they make repairs to the ship.

“Maybe you should get some work done on the Crest while we’re down there,” you suggest.

“So there’s something wrong with it?” he asks, haughtily. As if your question was pointless because “no one knows this ship like he does.”

“There could be,” you say with a shrug of your shoulders. “But would you rather find out in repairs? Or while we’re trying to run from blaster fire?”

“There’s nothing wrong with the ship,” he says, now sounding slightly upset. “I don’t want to waste more time than we have to on Raxus.”

“It’s just a suggestion. A reasonable one, might I add,” you huff.

Here it is, the bitchy tone, the irrational response, the stubbornness, all the things you’ve been trying to avoid running into. You’re not making an outrageous request, you know a part of him agrees with you. He’s just being a stubborn know-it-all; he has to be right. 

“You’re unbelievable, you know that?” you ask harshly, his helmet remaining fixed on the planetary view outside the transparisteel. 

“I’m not an idiot, this isn’t my first high-profile hunt. I’ve been on hundreds of hunts just like this one. So believe me when I tell you if we have one slip up on Sriluur, Wraak will not hesitate to kill us both,” you thundered. Your tone is suddenly urgent, and frustrated. You need him to understand the severity of these circumstances. “I’ve seen him kill people over less. So unless you didn’t hire me for my intel, you shouldn’t be questioning whether or not my advice is worth taking.”

You turn around sharply and stomp down the ladder as you leave the cockpit. He needed to hear that, as harsh as it was. You don’t care if his feelings are spared or not; he’s a big boy, he can handle it. Even though he sometimes doesn’t act like it. For someone as renowned as he is, he sure doesn’t act like the professional he supposedly is. You’d think someone of his caliber would understand how to handle high stress situations, but he seems to be crumbling under the slightest bit of pressure. You’re not sure how you know, but this doesn’t seem to be Shiny at his best. He might need rest. He can’t infiltrate Wraak’s base if he’s not in the right headspace; there can be no room for error this time. You understand why he’s hesitant to stay on Raxus, you wouldn’t want to leave a vulnerable, helpless child with someone like Wraak. But if you don’t prepare to the fullest, then you’re going to lose everything you’re working for. This is a delicate process, you can’t let Mando’s poor lack of judgement fuck it up. He needs a drink, or a shower, or a good night’s sleep on a bed rather than a cot. He needs some time to straighten out his thoughts so he can actually manage to survive this mission. You’ve been in his shoes before; too emotionally involved in the outcome of a hunt that you begin to lose yourself. You forget to eat, drink, bathe, sleep, even breathe. Then you can’t focus because you’re too tired and you’re body is too weak from the lack of nutrients to fight. He needs a break. And you’re going to have to be the one to force him to take one. You’re gonna have to do something kinda shitty, but it’s the only way to get him to take a break.

 You can feel the ship rattle and shake as it enters Raxus��� atmosphere; muffled chimes emanate through the parted doors of the cockpit above. You feel almost insane for actively wanting to sabotage the ship, it’s just going to be so damn satisfying to break something. Even if it’s a small something. This flying garbage pile seems to be more trouble than it’s worth, but he seems to manage with it. Parts of the Crest buzz and whirr as the landing array folds out in preparation to set itself down. The ship clunks as it lands and Mando departs from the cockpit not soon after the ship settles on the ground. The ramp opens revealing the fuel port Mando’s landed in, surrounded by autumnal trees and tanned mountain ranges. Various pit droids twiddled about, engrossed in menial tasks. Mando approached them and tried to get their attention, but they seemed too preoccupied to really care about what shiny was doing. That seemed like it was going to take a while, so now’s your chance. You cross to the ladder and climb up to the upper level, where the generator room is located. You need to target something small enough he wouldn’t notice, but big enough that the ship wouldn’t be able to take off without it. You eye the various control panels and piping as you enter the generator room. You chew your bottom lip, using all of your brain power to remember the engineering skills you have. After your third scan, you remember that the main fuel line is small, yet vital, and Mando won’t notice that it’s been compromised until he powers up the engines. You bring your elbow down hard against a pipe and it budges slightly. You realize you’ll need more leverage, so you look above your head and grab hold of thicker, more stable pipes. You pull yourself up, and bring your foot down hard against the pipe with a clank. After repeating that a few times, it finally breaks. Fuel begins leaking out all over the floor from the broken pipe and you smile at your successful attempt at a sabotage. You depart from the generator room and down to the hull; you take a peek outside pleased to see Mando is still barking orders at the pit droids. Now, all that’s left to do is sit back, and wait for your plan to come to fruition. Mando stomps back up the ramp, clearly frustrated (he has no patience for droids), and tosses a sachet of credits in your lap once he’s across from you in the hull.

“I need you to go into town and buy some more supplies,” he directs before immediately turning away towards the ladder.

“Hold on,” you say, stopping him in his tracks; your objection causes him to turn around in your direction. “Since when am I your bitch? I’m not here to run errands for you.”

“You want to make yourself useful, go ahead,” he says, sounding testy. “Or you can get off my ship right now and I can leave you here.”

Seriously? He’s being this uptight, for what? To prove a point? To get you out of the ship and out of his hair? That is, if he even has hair. Part of you does feel bad for him. He’s lost his son and he just wants to get him back. Maybe you shouldn’t have sabotaged the ship….Nah, he’s definitely in need of a break. This motherfucker has been walking around with a stick so far up his ass it’s now making its way up his throat. And now he has the audacity to start treating you like a servant after he’s made it clear millions of times how: “you’re a bounty hunter,” and how you should “start acting like it.” You want to scream. Or punch him. Maybe a combination of both. You just want it out of your system.

“Fuck you, Mando. Go find someone’s dick, and choke on it,” you spat, your tone furious and bitter. It was the most you could muster and the best words you could find. You turn around and storm off down the ramp and past the stumbling pit droids. Hopefully he doesn’t notice the compromised fuel line while you’re gone, but at this point you don’t care. You need to get away from that nerf-herder right now; if you were to spend one more minute with him, his head might end up rolling out of the ship.

 …

 You wander the streets of this small village for far too long. Partially to blow off some steam, and partially to waste time. You wanted to bother him and get under his skin, and taking your time right now would accomplish just that. You check every vendor you pass for the necessary items you were tasked with acquiring, pondering their purchase with a meticulous eye. You wandered into expensive boutiques and browsed their inventories, you stared at shop windows and asked for prices that you wouldn’t need because you weren’t going to buy anything. But you knew you’d have to go back soon, or else Mando might actually leave without you. So you made your final purchases and walked back to the Crest where a certain bounty hunter was probably waiting impatiently for your return. You hope he’s angry and upset that you took this long; you want to get back to him seething in anger and ready to strike something with his fists. Perhaps you’re being a little bit petty, you don’t really want to upset someone like him. But Maker is it fun. Reminds you that you at least have a semblance of power over him when it feels like he’s in control of almost every aspect of this mission. You just want to be able to have this one thing over him, then you’ll be fine once you get to Sriluur to obtain his kid. You have no problems taking orders from him, but when he begins to act all high and mighty over you and pretends that your input isn’t valuable, you take a bit of an issue with that. 

As you approach the fuel port, pit droids are taking out various fuel lines connected to the ship and struggling to roll them back up onto their stands. The ramp is still open, but you don’t see Bucket head anywhere in the hull yet. You walk up the ramp and into the Crest, tossing the bag of supplies on the ground by some crates. Figuring Mando is up in the cockpit, you huff in frustration then ascend the ladder and approach the cockpit’s doors. The doors whoosh open and, lo and behold, Mando is sitting in the pilot’s chair and seems to have barely cared that you entered the cockpit. He’s pressing various buttons on the control panel, obviously engrossed in whatever task he’s doing. You’re tuned into the routine by now, so you take the seat to his right and strap in. 

“Next stop, Sriluur,” Mando says as he begins to power up the ship, pressing buttons and pushing a lever. The Crest powers up, then promptly powers back down and sputters. Mando’s hands lift from the control panel in a defensive “what the hell did I do?” position. He flicks a few switches, that do nothing, then glances at the screen that logs the fuel reserves.

“What? How is that possible? I just fueled up the ship,” Mando exclaims, as you hear him huff out through the modulator. He stands up from the pilots chair and exits the cockpit to go to, you can only assume, the generator room. Your suspicions are confirmed once you hear him let out a slew of curses from the other room. He stomps back into the cockpit, seething with anger underneath his helmet.

“What’s wrong?” you ask, pretending to be oblivious to the issue at hand.

“The main fuel line has been compromised,” he tells you, his helmet remaining fixed on you for a beat. “One of those droids must have messed with it.”

“Probably,” you say with a shrug. “How big of a fix will it be?”

“It’ll take a day, maybe, at most. Unless those droids are good at fixing their mistakes,” he remarks bitterly, obviously bothered by the delay. “In the mean time, I’ll find us a place to sleep for the night.” He looks you up and down. “You need a shower.”

You glare at him, as if I don’t fucking know that already dipshit. 

“And you need a fucking nap,” you spat bitterly, with your arms crossed over your chest. His helmet fixates on you for a minute before he turns to leave the cockpit, his cape fluttering behind him. You try to bite back a laugh, very proud of your work.

 …

 You and Shiny walk towards the city of Raxulon, in search of cheap lodging for the two of you to stay in tonight while the pit droids work on the ship. He’s silent, like always, walking in front of you through a small neighborhood on the outskirts of a rural village. There are children playing in the street, kicking balls and hitting each other with sticks pretending they were vibro blades. Fruit stands were occupied by elderly vendors, trying to pawn off their slightly rotted produce to any person who was too inept to understand their poor quality. It was a quiet, quaint little village; they didn’t seem too accustomed to someone like Mando walking through the streets, heavily armored and heavily armed. Some parents shielded their children away from your beskar clad counterpart, not wanting to cause any trouble. One of the children’s balls rolls in Shiny’s direction, stopping once it collides with his ankle. The kid quits jogging after it and freezes in his tracks, clearly petrified of him. Mando bends down and lifts up the ball, tossing it back to the kid.

“Shulu chess ko bukee. Oolaee safa lesh,” he says, the helmet nodding in the kids’ direction. They smile and run away, giggling and kicking the ball in front of them. The two of you continue on your stroll to the nearest Inn, Mando hardly acknowledging the simple act of kindness he just displayed. You weren’t used to seeing that, from him especially. That’s what makes him so confusing to you; one minute he’ll blow up at the smallest inconvenience, storming off like a child, and the next he’s pulling shit like this where he’s being patient and kind towards these children he doesn’t even know. It makes you wonder what changes in him through those lapses. What is it that penetrates that beskar? There’s something he lets in there; something small enough to wriggle under his sleeve and curl up without being detected, but it’s something he wouldn’t dare cuff his undershirt to reveal what it is. Especially to you. No, definitely not you. What reason would he have to reveal to you a vulnerable part of himself? What makes you any different than all the other bounty hunters he’s come across? He only chose you because you’re of use to him. Once this all blows over and Wraak is dead and he has his kid back, it’s going to be like this never happened and you both will continue on living your lives. Shiny with his son, and you...on Nevarro alone. He’ll have his clan of two, you think that’s what Mandalorians call it, and you’ll be on that maker-forsaken planet continuing to make credits at Gundi’s for...what exactly? You’re still not sure. Truth is, you haven’t been sure in a long time and you’re too afraid to admit it. If you could, you would go back to hunting bounties, traversing the galaxy, earning your place. But that didn’t work out for you, as most things tend to. It’s been harder to find your place in all of this when you don’t really understand who you are anymore.

Mando stops in front of a modest building that reads “Inn” in Aurebesh. The windows are parted open and the curtains are fluttering in the wind. You and Shiny enter together, there’s a tired woman slouched behind a counter, her blonde hair pulled back lazily into a ponytail. She’s swiping mindlessly on her datapad, then once she notices the two of you enter, she glances up at you both and adjusts her posture to seem more welcoming.

“I need two rooms,” Mando says to her once you both reach the counter. She nods her head then begins typing into the datapad. Her lips purse in thought and her brow raises slightly.

“I’m afraid we only have one room left for tonight,” she admits, seemingly apologetic. Shiny sighs through the modulator, his shoulders falling slightly.

“That’s fine. How many beds?” he asks her. She glances down quickly at her datapad then back up at the helmet.

“This room is a single, so it only has one bed, I’m afraid.” She glances between the two of you, trying to gauge a reaction based off of your expression as opposed to Mando’s faceless helmet. You huff, resting your hands on your hips, and wait for Shiny’s response as you glare at him expectantly. At this point, you’ll sleep on the floor if it means you get to take a shower, but Mando seems like the kind who’d want his own space to occupy while he removes his armor and bathes.

“Where’s the nearest Inn?” he inquires. You can tell he’s beginning to lose his patience, but he won’t show it to the nice lady behind the counter.

“We’re the only Inn here in this village. The nearest city is Raxulon, but it’d be a day’s walk from here,” she informs the two of you. There’s no time to walk all the way to Raxulon, the ship would be done with repairs by the time you even get there. He looks to you, as if to ask for your input. “I seriously don’t give a shit, I’ll sleep on the floor. Just take it, for fuck’s sake,” you tell him impatiently, gesturing to the woman behind the counter. The helmet nods in her direction and he pulls credits from his belt, plopping them onto the counter. She sets the key onto the counter, directing the two of you to your room, and Mando snatches it up indignantly paying no mind to the directions. He stomps off down the hall, you following behind him. It almost upsets you how annoyed he is, as if he doesn’t even trust you enough for him to be in another room without his armor on while he’s bathing. You would never actively try and look at him, as that’s a complete and total invasion of his privacy. You’re not sure what exactly that equivalent would be for you, but you’d imagine it would be like if he lifted up your top to look at your tits. You didn’t consent to that, you weren’t okay with that, yet he did it and now you’re uncomfortable that he’s seen a part of yourself you didn’t want him seeing. Does he really think you’d do that to him? Does he think you’d violate him like that? If so, fuck him. You’re risking your life on this mission, considering you know exactly what Wraak is capable of, he should be grateful you even agreed to come here at all.

 He stops in front of a door, unlocking it with the key, and you watch as it slides open. Mando steps inside, barely paying you any mind as you follow him in. The room was smaller than you expected, there was one tiny armchair shoved into a corner adjacent to the queen sized bed. The armchair was far too small for either of you to even consider sleeping in, but the bed looked like heaven in comparison to the hard, metal floor of the Crest that you’ve been sleeping on the past few days. He tosses his rifle onto the bed and wastes no time going to the windows and closing the blinds, so no one could see inside the room. He brushes past you and into the bathroom, locking himself inside without saying a word to you. You roll your eyes and sit on the edge of the bed, un-fastening your boots and pulling them off of your feet. You flex your toes once your boot is off, trying to regain some mobility after not having taken them out of these shoes for days on end. The sound of rushing water can be heard through the door of the fresher, and you can only assume Shiny’s finally taking a damn shower. He’s been so sour since finding the broken fuel line in the Crest, which obviously isn’t a good thing so you can’t blame him for being upset anyways. His moodiness doesn’t surprise you anymore, as he spends more time sulking than he does speaking to you. But it’s fine, it’s not like you should probably get to know the man that you’re risking your life for, or anything. No, it totally doesn’t bother you that a complete stranger has complete control over almost every aspect of this mission and will refuse to communicate basic things to you at all. It’s fine, everything’s fine. You just need to lay down and pretend he’s not even here, just for a minute. Yes, just a minute.

 …

 Many minutes must’ve passed since you laid your head down because the sound of the bathroom door sliding open wakes you. Shiny emerges from the bathroom, the hot steam from the fresher sticking to his beskar armor. He sure does have a knack for always waking you up, doesn’t he? You groan and roll over on your side, trying your best to ignore him, but his boots against the ground makes it too difficult to fall back asleep again. You force your heavy lids open to see Mando settling in the tiny, lumpy arm chair as if he were trying to get some rest. You roll your eyes at his stubbornness and sit up on the bed.

“For fuck’s sake, just sleep in the damn bed. I’m going to go shower anyways,” you huff, getting up off of the bed and heading towards the bathroom. You hear a sigh escape through the modulator and you can assume the rustling is him getting into the bed...fully armored? Whatever. You could care less, you just want to get clean. You palm the controls to the door, locking it behind you and sigh, finally having some time to yourself. The steam from Shiny’s shower still hangs in the air and the mirror is fogged as a result. You punch in the settings for the shower and watch as water begins rushing out of the showerhead. After stripping out of your gear, you step into the fresher, huffing in contentment when the warm water rushes over your body. You wished you could stay like this forever, free of any outside stressors like Mando, or the trauma from working for Wraak. It’s like an impenetrable bubble that you’re allowed for just a few brief moments while you clean yourself. You hope that Mando is still asleep by the time you’re done because you want to avoid stepping on his toes any further, and if you inadvertently wake him up, you might get yourself yelled at by him again for the millionth time. You’d give anything to have an actual conversation with him, but every time you speak it seems like it causes some issue with him and upsets him in some way. So you’ve resigned to just shutting up for a while, ignoring him when you can, and doing your best to not make any more jokes around him. It’s been working so far, but it feels weird. Here you are, risking your lives for each other, and you both barely speak. You just wish that you could get at least a small look into what he was thinking; how does he feel without his kid? Is the kid dead? Does he think the kid’s dead? You want to help ease his mind, but his emotions have been so volatile since you’ve met him. He would never let you close enough to even try and crack his shell open, no, you’d most definitely die trying. 

You turn the water off in the fresher, wringing out your hair before stepping out with a fluffy white towel wrapped around your body. Tightening the towel around your breast, you wipe some of the steam off of the mirror with your hand. The bruise on your jaw looked pretty awful, and it was still tender to the touch. It looked nasty, how has Shiny not said anything about it? You shake your head and begin putting your clothes back on, your hair twisted up into a towel atop your head. Once dressed, you try and tackle your hair...but there’s no comb anywhere in this bathroom. You curse to yourself as you try and comb through your hair with just your fingers, but you give up soon and just pull it back lazily into a braid; not really caring to try anything more complicated. Maker, all you want right now is to climb into bed and fall asleep, but Mando is probably asleep and it would be, well, weird to just climb right in next to him as if you two were a domestic couple. But that chair definitely seems worse to sleep in than the floor of the Crest, and why would you subject yourself to that torture? You’ve been bouncing back and forth, toying with the notion, but mostly wondering if he would be upset with you for doing it. Do...Mandalorians not like sharing beds? Is that a thing? Whatever, he can yell at you after you both get some rest. You palm the controls to the door and it slides open with a whoosh, as far as you can tell, Shiny doesn’t budge. He’s laying on his back fully armored without a blanket or anything, like a lunatic, sleeping soundly. You tiptoe, as best as you can, around to the left side of the bed and slide in next to him with your back facing Shiny, not even bothering to try and pull the covers over you in fear of disturbing him. You can’t even hear him breathing, the only indication of his presence being the slight dip in his side of the bed from his weight. You’re becoming paranoid now that you’ll nudge him accidentally in your sleep and startle him awake, causing him to unleash a slew of annoyed remarks. The anxiety kept you up for longer than you’d like to admit, which is irritating considering you’re finally able to sleep in a bed but you can’t because a walking, talking harbinger of death is sleeping next to you. You’re not sure how, but you managed to lull yourself to sleep through the impending doom of Mando’s wrath.

 …

 A scream rang through the small room, jerking you awake with a startled flinch. You still remained facing the wall, not Shiny, thankfully. There was movement on the other side of the bed as you felt Mando move. Your eyes remained fixed on the wall, trying to gauge how he was feeling about you sleeping next to him, if he had even noticed. But he was silent. It worried you, so you rolled over and sat up in the bed to see Mando’s feet slung over the side of the bed as his eyes remain fixed on the floor. He must’ve been the one whose scream woke you up. What should you say? It’s not like he’ll tell you what’s wrong if you ask him. Still not sure if he’s noticed you’re awake now, you wait a few moments to see if he’ll do anything else. But he remains fixed on the floor, his shoulders rising and falling as, you assume, he’s trying to catch his breath again.

“Are you alright?” you finally inquire, your voice slightly hoarse from your sleep. He doesn’t say anything, hardly acknowledges you’ve even broken the silence. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells, trying not to blow his fuse by overstepping any of his million boundaries. He seems stuck, like he’s spiraling out of control silently. You lift your hand and hesitantly bring it to his shoulder, right above his pauldron. You gingerly place your hand there and wait for him to react, when he doesn’t, you gently move your thumb over the fabric of his undershirt so lightly you were sure he couldn’t even notice. 

“Your kid will be fine. You have my word,” you assure him gently. While you weren’t sure what exactly Wraak wanted with his kid, you’re secure in knowing that Wraak will explore all of his options before killing a child in cold blood. From Shiny’s stress, you can assume that this kid isn’t just your average child, he must be of some value to Wraak or else he wouldn’t have gone out of his way to have taken him. Mando’s helmet cranes behind him to get a better look at you and he locks on you for a moment. You offer him a sympathetic closed-mouth grin, feeling more comfortable than you’d thought you’d be with his helmet fixed on you for so long. You pull your hand away and settle back on your side, facing the wall so you don’t have to remember that the Mandalorian is sleeping next to you. But it doesn’t seem to bother you as much as it did before when you wake up the next morning with your arm draped over his chest and your cheek nestled into his arm.

[nerianasims]

Billboard #1s 1984

Under the cut.

Yes -- "Owner of a Lonely Heart" -- January 21, 1984

The full version of this song is way too long. Not surprising from a former prog rock band. The music is good and interesting, but it loses me before the end even in the shorter single version. There's too much stuff. As for the lyrics, maybe that prog rock gloss made people think they were profound, but they look like self-help. Some incredibly 80s Reagan-era individualism, better to be alone than to be hurt, you're the only one you can count on, blah blah blah. Not for me. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Culture Club -- "Karma Chameleon" -- February 4, 1984

The video to this song has nothing to do with it, unless there's supposed to be a connection between the con artist on the fantasy world 19th century steamboat and the guy who keeps coming and going whom Boy George is singing to. And I didn't fully realize the "you come and go" double entendre until just now. I like the video, anyway. And I like the song quite a bit. It's a very cheerful-sounding song about being strung along by some asshole.

Van Halen -- "Jump" -- February 25, 1984

Van Halen was something boys were into. It's weird how we delineate these things. At least back in 1984, if it got coded as a boy thing, then if you were a girl and also found it interesting, you'd damn well better hide it or certain other more socially powerful kids would tear you to shreds. That was my experience, anyway. (And if other girls were into it and you were not, you were also in serious trouble.) So though when I heard Van Halen songs I thought, "hm, I'm intrigued," I did not dare pursue that interest. Except for this song. This one was allowed. It's fun.

Kenny Loggins -- "Footloose" -- March 31, 1984

Footloose is a pretty good movie. At least I remember it being so when I eventually saw it in college in the 90s. Anything that stands against censorship, and for art and people having fun, already has an in with me. Also Kevin Bacon's great. The song isn't about the movie particularly; it's just about how dancing is wonderful. Though there is a hint at the movie: "You're playing so cool/ Obeying every rule/ Deep way down in your heart/ You're burning yearning for some/ Somebody to tell you/ That life ain't passing you by/ I'm trying to tell you/ It will if you don't even try." Yeah. Agatha Christie at one point lamented that young people in the 1950s were far too serious and self-righteous, and really needed to go dance in fountains. I feel the same now as she did then. Though wait until after the covid vaccine's been widely taken. Anyway, this is a good dance song.

Phil Collins -- "Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now)" -- April 21, 1984

It's a lament about being dumped. Apparently, Collins wrote it about his wife leaving him out of the blue, taking the kids and the dog with her. Ouch. There's a great drum part, which keeps the song from being too boring, but I still don't like it. Phil Collins' serious love/heartbreak songs don't do it for me. I find this one depressing without being cathartic.

Lionel Richie -- "Hello" -- May 12, 1984

I remember this video from when it was on the air. Mostly because of the Lionel Richie clay head. But also because I was like... is she his student? Isn't that a bad thing? Even though she's an adult in college, I still thought you weren't supposed to do that? I've had a major squick against teacher/student relationships, even in fiction, since I was a kid. Possibly this is because I come from a family of professors. (I didn't get a PhD and am therefore the black sheep.) Without reference to the video, the song is terrible. The lyrics are just repetitive cheese, whatever, but the song is so slow and blah and I don't like Lionel Richie's singing.

Deniece Williams -- "Let's Hear It For the Boy" -- May 26, 1984

I keep being surprised that there are people who think someone is worthless if they don't have a lot of money and don't dress fashionably. In this song, the titular boy also can't dance, but is that a thing that people get dinged for in reality? I don't know, maybe. This song was in Footloose, and it's the same sentiment as "My Guy"; her boy isn't some smooth-talking rich brat, but "he's my lovin' one-man show." He's like Edward Ferrars, not Willoughby. It's a fun song.

Cyndi Lauper -- "Time After Time" -- June 9, 1984

This is one of the greatest songs ever. Not just pop songs. Any song, of any type.

Duran Duran -- "The Reflex" -- June 23, 1984

These lyrics make no sense. That doesn't matter for this song much, which is all about the music. Which is not the best of Duran Duran's music. For all the many, many, MANY different musical ideas in it, it's actually kinda boring. They'd have done better to simplify. I imagine this sounds something like cocaine feels, though drinking way too many Mountain Dews to pull an all-nighter's my only comparison. Duran Duran were never my favorite, but I do enjoy many of their songs. This one, meh.

Prince -- "When Doves Cry" -- July 7, 1984

Prince only two songs after Cyndi Lauper? Is it my birthday? The song's lyrics start out being about the amazing chemistry between the narrator and "you." That establishes why they're together. Then Prince moves on to how they "scream at each other," and it's what it sounds like "when doves cry." He's accusatory -- "How could you just leave me standing/ Alone in a world so cold?" But then he goes right into thinking maybe it's his fault: "Maybe I'm just too demanding" etc. It's a sexy, thoughtful, and anguished song about a relationship in trouble. I like to think they'll overcome their problems and stop screaming at each other. Trust me, it's very possible. Also the music is great.

Ray Parker Jr. -- "Ghostbusters" -- August 11, 1984

Um. I have no idea how to evaluate this one. I heard it first in the theatre when I saw the movie, but I heard it years after every week when I watched the cartoon. It just... is.

Tina Turner -- "What's Love Got To Do With It" -- September 1, 1984

I have an overwhelming memory of hearing this song when I was alone in the grocery store as a teenager. I have no idea why the memory's so strong. Maybe it was the first time I went to the grocery store by myself? Maybe I ran into a guy I had a huge crush on, though I don't remember that? (If I was 16, that could have been one of any three guys... Romance is my secondary aspiration, after all.) In any case, it's a good song. The attempt to pretend love is a bunch of chemicals and doesn't truly matter is a pretty common one for the broken-hearted. And Tina Turner's great as always.

John Waite -- "Missing You" -- September 22, 1984

Two songs in a row about being in denial over matters of love. Interesting. This isn't the most fascinating song ever, but it's a good solid song about heartbreak that isn't gloopy at all. In the main vocals, Waite keeps insisting "I ain't missing you," but in the background is a soft voice that sings "missing you" over and over. That's a smart artistic move.

Prince and the Revolution -- "Let's Go Crazy" -- September 29, 1984

I liked a lot of pop music when I was 7, but I didn't get Prince. His songs sort of slid out of my brain as a "thing for grownups," and who could understand grownups? He was short and wore fancy outfits, and that's about all that registered. When I hit puberty, though... yeah. This song is more adult than that, though, and I don't mean sexually, though there is plenty of sex in this song. "You better live now/ Before the grim reaper come knocking on your door." The song is about sex, partying, and death. Also Prince was an astonishing guitarist, along with everything else. It's not one of my favorite Prince songs, because the lyrics are pretty depressing and it's super loud, but it's still great.

Stevie Wonder -- "I Just Called To Say I Love You" -- October 13, 1984

I never really listened to the background beep-de-boops in this song before. I've wondered before why this song, with its simple lyrics and melody, didn't bore me. It's the beep-de-boops. They, along with Stevie Wonder's perfect delivery, make this song musically complex. And the simple lyrics, with the more complex musical counterpoints, absolutely work. It helps that this is the kind of thing people really do.

Billy Ocean -- "Caribbean Queen" -- November 3, 1984

That heavy breathing after the line "I get so excited just from her perfume" is unfortunate. Otherwise, it's a song about how he met this "Caribbean Queen" on vacation and she "tamed" him so he's no longer looking for "love on the run." Sure, why not. I'd like a little more story to it, but that's me. It's got a good beat though, and is enjoyable enough as-is.

Wham! -- "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" -- November 17, 1984

I just realized I don't like this song. The beat and hook are sort of irresistible, and as a dance song the music absolutely works. But there's too much nostalgia about stuff that George Michael actually wasn't old enough to be nostalgic about. He was only 21 at the time, born in 1963, and yet he was singing about Doris Day. You can homage anything at any age, but... meh. And speaking of age, it's kind of a childish song and George Michael's voice was always more on the mature end, even if he was young at the time. For me, it hits a jarring note.

Daryl Hall & John Oates -- "Out of Touch" -- December 8, 1984

The beginning makes it sound like this is gonna be a relatively hard rock song, but that ends after a pretty short time. It's still really loud, with huge drums, and Hall pretty much shouts the song. Hall & Oates were great when they stripped stuff down. All this noise doesn't work for them. There are neat parts when all the noise suddenly stops and there's total silence, but then it goes right back to the rather uninteresting loudness. Not for me.

Madonna -- "Like A Virgin" -- December 22, 1984

And so it begins. Backstory: Madonna went to the same high school as my mother. She was friends (maybe more? he won't talk) with one of my uncles. When my grandmother saw the Like A Virgin album on the rack at the store, she said, "I'm so glad [he] didn't marry that girl." When my mother told me that, my reaction was "Are you kidding? We'd be rich!" But my family cares about PhDs and not money. My uncle ran wild in high school, but eventually became a successful career diplomat (and stopped being a jackass) after the woman he was in love with told him he'd better shape up or else. Also he looks a lot like Guy Ritchie, so that was weird for a while. I'd be in the grocery store and for a second think, "Why's my uncle on The Enquirer with Madonna?"

So anyway, the song. The way Madonna sang it in later iterations, I like it. I can't stand the version that became a #1 hit. The Betty Boop voice is just ugh. I love a lot of Madonna's music, and she would be something of an inspiration to me in later days, with her unapologetic persona as a woman who liked and wanted sex -- and enjoyed shocking the censorious -- but I was 8 at the time. I didn't get any of it, I just knew she sounded squeaky in this song and it bugged me.

BEST OF 1984: "Time After Time" by Cyndi Lauper. WORST OF 1984: "Hello" by Lionel Richie

[druigsfavwitch]

𝗜'𝗺 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲- 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁 𝗠𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗼𝗰𝗸

so, i'm going to be using this fluff prompt i found on Pinterest

today, i'm gonna use "I'll be here to protect you"

you guys can request prompts from here or any other prompts :)

Warning: angst, mentions of kidnapping, mentions of getting shot, sad!matt, hospitals (is that a warning?), fluff :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You can't remember the last time you felt scared for your life. Maybe once when you were little. You were learning to ride a bike and your parents pushed you off. You were pretty short so your feet couldn't exactly touch the pedals correctly. You were excited, steering the bike but then, the reality set in. You started to freak out and lost control of the bike. You started crying, screaming for your parents to save you. The bike went full speed towards the tree and crashed. You fell off the bike and screamed. Your mom was the first one over there. She picked you up and assessed your injuries. You managed to only escape with a scraped knee and elbow, but after, you refused to ride a bike for 2 years.

That was the last time you had truly been scared. Being a defense lawyer, you can't show fear. Your friends seem to think that you're pretty badass. You work with your boyfriend Matt and Foggy.

At first, you went against Matt in a case and he admired your determination. After the case, which he won, he asked you if you would be interested in working at his firm. At first, you said no, but after him asking a few more times, you agreed and left your firm to work with him.

At first, it seemed like a normal job, you had new friends, saved people, normal lawyer things, but after a while, Matt started acting weird. He would avoid talking to you unless he absolutely had to. Every time you would try to talk to him, he would respond with one word answers. One day, you confronted him.

"Matt, what's up with you? You're like ignoring me." He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Do you hate me? Because, I could gladly go find another place to work." He raised his hands. "Y/n, I don't hate you. It's quite the opposite actually. I really like you. I just didn't want to ruin the work life we have." You smiled and sighed. "Thank god. I actually like this job and I would've been very upset." You both laughed. Then, you got the balls to walk up to him and kissed him. He kissed back.

As your relationship progressed, so did the danger. You found out pretty soon into your relationship that he was the masked vigilante everyone liked to talk about. Most of them didn't know his identity let alone where he lived, but he always had the fear that one day, they would find out and take you as punishment. Boy, was he right.

It was a short work day. Matt had stopped by foggy's place to talk about some work stuff. You had gotten dinner along the way home from you guy's favorite Chinese takeout place. You were walking to the apartment door. You unlocked it with the key Matt gave you a while ago when you moved in and placed the food on the counter, taking your shoes off along the way. The last thing you remember is feeling a cloth over your mouth and you passing out.

       ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After Matt had returned home from foggy's, he expected you to be in the living room, watching tv, with your feet propped up on the coffee table, like you did every night. What he was greeted with instead was an eerie silence. He tried to listen for your heart. You could have just fell asleep and moved to the bed, or you could be getting out of the shower. When he didn't hear your heartbeat, his anxiety rose.  He walked to the kitchen and found the Chinese food, which by then had gone cold. He knew something happened to you and he knew exactly who it was.

           ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you woke up, you were tied to a chair. Your ankles and wrists were bound, making it impossible for you to break free. Your mouth had a cloth in it, presumably to mask your screaming so you weren't found. You knew exactly why you were kidnapped. The men Matt caught weren't exactly good men. They were terrible men. Kingpin is among the worst. His men would kill innocent people for money or anything. They were ruthless.

You were pulled out of your thoughts when you saw a big, chubby man walk into the warehouse you were kept in. He had on a white suit and carried a cane. You only guessed that this was the infamous kingpin.

"Well, hello there. I'm sure you know who I am." He waited a few seconds for you to shake your head or give him any kind of response at all. You kept your face as straight as you could and didn't mumble a word. His face straightened from his wicked smile to a devious frown. "Hey, I'm talking to you! And when I talk, I expect an answer." He walked over and slapped your cheek. Your head snapped to the right, your cheek stinging.

You looked up at him white no changed expression. He narrowed his eyes. "He's not coing to save you. I know that's what your counting on, but don't. He won't make it. By the time he gets here, you'll be dead." Those words were the ones that caused the flashbacks of every horrifying event in your life. The first time you rode a bike and this one seemed to be tied for the worst thing ever. You could very much die on the dirty warehouse floor and Matt could live in gulf forever, never even knowing what happened to you. That sent your adrenaline into over drive. You had to stay alive. For Matt.

When he walked closer, you managed to kick you leg free and kick him where the sun doesn't shine. He doubled over in pain while you tried to get up and get out of there. He looked up at you in sheer anger, seeing you trying to escape. He walked over and stepped on your kneecap, breaking it and causing you to scream as loud as you could with the cloth in. He then grabbed his cane and beat you with it for a solid 20 minutes. By the time he was done, you were sure you were dead. Your face looked terrible and your ribs were probably all broken but he wasn't done yet. He  untied you and picked you up by your throat, limiting your air supply. Just as he lifted your feet up off the ground, Matt came barreling in, taking down the security kingpin had set you. Kingpin was quick to grab a gun from a fallen soldier and hold it to your temple.

"Well, look who it is. We're having a party that you seemed to have crashed." Matt looked at you in pure fear. He saw how fucked up you looked and how much pain you were in. He couldn't stand to watch. "Let her go, this is between me and you." Kingpin laughed. "Then why fall in love? Why burden her with all your demons? Huh? This is no longer between you and me. It's between the three of us now, and you're about to experience true heartbreak." He went to pull the trigger but matt was quick enough to grab a staff and throw it at the gun, lowering the angle, but not stopping the bullet. You screamed out in pain while kingpin dropped you to take care of Matt. Matt was quick to knock him out and tie him up. Then, he turned his attention on you. "Hey, hey, i'm here now y/n! I'm gonna get you help, you just have to keep your eyes open." You tried to look at him but everything was so blurry and it hurt. "I'm so tired." You slurred. He slapped your cheek in a effort to keep you awake but the last thing you heard was Matt screaming at you to stay awake.

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The next thing you remember is the beeping of something. At first you thought it was your alarm and that the whole ordeal was a dream but when you couldn't move to press snooze, you knew it was true and the beeping was the heart monitor.

You managed to open your eyes but immediately closed them again. The light was too bright. You opened them slowly and scoped out the room. It was pretty ordinary, bed, chairs, everything a normal hospital has. You looked next to you and saw Matt sleeping. You could tell by his eyes he had been crying. Just then, a doctor slowly walked in and saw you awake. He gave you a small smile. "Well, look who's awake. You're very lucky. The bullet missed your heart by 3 inches. You could've died." He gave you instructions on how to get the nurse to help you use the restroom and so on. When he left, you heard Matt clear his throat. You looked over and saw him getting up. "Hi." You muttered. Your voice sounded horrible from the screaming. "Hi." He said back. He took your hand in his and raised it to his mouth, kissing it. "I'm so sorry." He said, his voice breaking. "I should've never dragged you into this. This is all my fault." You sighed and kissed his hand. "It's not your fault and I would never blame you, ever. I'm right here." He looked at you. "But you almost died. I heard your heart stop. I thought I lost you." He confessed. You smiled and grabbed his face. "I'm right here and I always will be." He smiled and spoke back to you. "I'll be here to protect you. Always and forever."

A/n: what did you guys think? :)

[utterlyinevitable]

Trials & Tribulations (CH. 4)

Me Without You

Chapter 1: Afterwards Chapter 2: The Next 4 Days Chapter 3: It All Falls Down

Love Interests: Ethan Ramsey, Bryce Lahela Word Count: 3.3k Warning: angst, adult themes, possible destructive mental health triggers Summary: Have you ever been so out of touch with your emotions that you constantly make choices? Yeah… That’s what Becca’s doing.

________________________________________ 

For almost two weeks Becca left him texts and voicemails at various times of the day - anything she could think of to reach him. She needed an explanation. Things were good, she thought. Why would he up and leave without saying a word? Weren’t they in a better place now? Why did he go? 

They’d slept together a few days ago, breaking down every sacred barrier of professionalism they’ve erected since Miami. It was an initial shock for them to be on the same team come the fall but they could work though it. They were stronger than this. They’ve been through so many secrets together how could they not? 

By day 9 Becca had long left the shock of abandonment behind and just needed to hear his voice, rationale be damned. His voicemail lulled her to sleep most nights when Rafael couldn’t come over to help numb the pain. The short curt message was so distinctly him; 

“Dr. Ethan Ramsey. Leave a voicemail or call 911 if it’s an emergency.” 

She’d always hung up right before the beep. Becca was embarrassed by how many times she called each day yet was more embarrassed to have him hear the desperation in her voice. As silly as she felt, it’s like a piece of her had gone missing. Eight weeks was a long time to pine after someone who ran away. More like an entire year… She had him once, why was he pushing her away again? 

After catching him leaving their apartment that fateful morning after her ethics hearing, Elijah and Sienna held onto Becca’s deepest secret. They saw no need to start drama within their group after everything that has happened, especially for one briefly passionate weekend. 

However short-lived, it was the most freeing three days of Rebecca Lao’s life. It felt right, he felt right. Why doesn’t he feel the same way? 

Ugh I can’t keep thinking of him. 

Becca pushed him to the back of her mind every single time he popped into it, forcing herself to focus on her patients and the little distraction known as her friends. Dr. Rebecca Lao was determined to move on, her completely decimated heart be damned. 

***

At 1:12PM on that ninth afternoon Becca snuck back to the locker room and sent him another text, 

Please let me know you’re okay. 

She huffed as she shoved her phone deep into her coat pocket, ready to go on lunch and wallow in her misery. 

For the last seven days Becca hadn’t worn a lick of makeup. She couldn’t bring herself to keep up appearances. Anyone could see the cracks through her painted face, so what’s the point in putting all the effort into it? She wore the bags under her eyes proudly a reminder that, albeit everything, she’s still alive and capable of thriving. Her greasy brown hair was pulled back in a haphazard bun and baby strands flying carelessly around her forehead, she hadn’t felt like washing it in a few days. Her eyes were dull. Nothing really sparked the fire in them anymore. No one was pushing her to reach past her potential anymore. 

I can’t wait to spend all day in bed tomorrow. Maybe I’ll actually take a relaxing bath…  

“Ah, Dr. Lao!” she heard the chipper and lively voice of Naveen call a few feet ahead of her. She looked up from her fixated gaze on the stark white linoleum and to the old doctor bounding happily towards her with his cane. “How are you?”  

“I’m fine, thank you for asking,” she responded trying not to meet his inquisitive eyes. “How have you been?”  

The question was simple enough. It was obligatory small talk in most circles however here and now they held a deeper meaning. Rebecca couldn’t have been the only one taking His departure roughly. 

“Hanging in there,” he told her honestly with newly darkened eyes, and she gave him a sad smile back. Naveen extended an olive branch to the only other person that would understand, “Would you care to join me for lunch?”  

“I’d like that, yeah.” 

“Wonderful,” he beamed “I’ll meet you in the atrium in 15 minutes?”  

Beca forced a small smile, “It’s a date.” 

  Naveen and Becca sat at a table at one of his favorite local Indian restaurants near the hospital. During the fifteen minute drive over, the man raved about the chutney and how the family-run establishment was one of the only ones with a proper heat meter - “not like conservative dishes you’d find at chains”.  

The two pleasantly spoke of their last few days as if they were two lifelong friends despite only knowing one another for a few months. Once the waiter brought over their meals she finally let herself ask the question causing hives at the back of her neck, “Have you heard from him?” 

Naveen moved the rice around his plate to mix with his lamb curry and took a deep breath; he knew this was coming. 

“He sent me an email once he got there,” he said as evenly as he could manage. “I’m sure he’s fine. Ethan’s tough.” Naveen wished he could ease the woes he’s seen pass the young resident’s features ever since that day of the announcement. But his loyalty towards his makeshift son outweighed conflict in his heart. There was a reason Ethan didn’t tell her and I must respect it. However misplaced. With a slight smile he tried to reassure her instead, “Surely enough, no matter his rank, he would have taken control and whipped everyone into shape. He’ll be back home to us soon enough.” 

Email? She didn’t think of that… God, He is an old man.  

Her attention was fixed on the salad in front of her, pushing the leaves one over the other. “I jus -” There were so many questions she needed answers to. If anyone knew Him well enough to help her speculate his motives it would be his most dearest friend. Her voice was small as she continued, “Why didn’t he tell me?” It took a lot of strength to keep her voice from cracking. 

Her stormy eyes finally lifted to meet warm brown. The deep marks of age on his dark brown features arched downwards in sympathy. He set his fork down by his plate and dabbed the corners of his mouth, preparing to ease the mind of this doleful girl. 

“He told me he applied the moment he quit but didn’t expect to hear back. It was a wishful thought; he never would be able to stay retired long. We have that in common, him and I. As for why he didn’t tell you I can only speculate.” The older doctor tried to keep his features impartial and failed. “The boy has a one track mind sometimes; when he puts his mind to it nothing will stop him until he’s reached the desired outcome.” 

She’s seen Him exhibit that kind of behavior before and gave Naveen a sad smile back in recognition. 

Naveen reached across the table to cover her hand with his. “He’s been through a lot in life and hasn’t always been the best with feelings. But when you know him long enough, and get to know his expressions, it’s easy to see something...” the Chief of Medicine chose his words carefully, “intimate has become of you two.” 

Normally Becca would have scoffed at the insinuation, but now she just couldn’t bring herself to react. Naveen’s words were settling in - she knew He had scars from his childhood that he didn’t dare talk about. She knew He was closed off and an acquired taste. And she knew Naveen was half-right. 

Sadly she replied, “I don’t think there’s anything between us.”  

Naveen didn’t want to argue, he could see through the broken girl in front of him and his heart ached for them both. 

Rightfully he changed the subject, “Are you working on any exciting cases?” 

“Not as exciting as they are unfortunate,” she shrugged, picking at the salad. “I have a young girl with leukemia and a patient on dialysis with pneumonia. I’m not sure either of them will pull through.”  

“If you need any help, I’m only a page away.” His gaze cascaded a sense of comforting warmth over her. “You’re not just my grandmentee, you’re family.” 

She was happy to have Naveen in her corner but couldn’t help wondering if the offer was conditionally tied to him. 

“Thank you.”  

“Thank you for joining me,” Naveen acknowledged, “I say we make this a routine thing!” 

For the first time in a long time the corners of her lips perked up, “I’d like that.” 

That evening she sent him an email;  

Hey, 

I know you’re kicking ass down there (you know I mean the outbreak, please don’t punch anyone!), but I hope you’re being safe. I had lunch with Naveen today, he’s really worried about you. We miss you. Please please please let us know you’re okay. I’m still mad at you for leaving but I’ll forgive you if you just please talk to me. If I did something wrong, I’m sorry. I just want to know that you’re alive and well. Even if you don’t want to talk to me, please keep Naveen updated. 

See you soon, 

R x 

***

“Roo-mie Bar Crawl. Roo-mie Bar Crawl.” Sienna chanted from the middle of their living room. The gang was all dressed up and ready to let loose after a really harrowing week on the job.  

Becca hadn’t contacted Him since that first and last email three days ago. She made her peace with it. After days of trying, a deep conversation with Naveen, and receiving absolutely nothing in return for her efforts, she settled on the assumption that He was ghosting her. Her heart ached but she didn’t want to let the heartbreak consume her. Instead she’d find other distractions. 

Those distractions came in the form of Rafael, Bryce, and Sienna. Each friend mended a different part of her tattered heart. Sienna took care of her by way of baked goods, forcing her to talk about her feelings and retail therapy - Becca needed a bit of mothering in these last few days, especially since she didn’t have a close relationship with her birth mother. Bryce was her feel-good companion, he’d take her out for a drink or an excursion, anything he could possibly do to have her smile reach her eyes once again. Lastly, Rafael helped take care of her intimately - although he’s been M.I.A. the last week… 

The group congregated in their shared living room, ready to go. Becca sat on the sofa next to Bryce as he helped lace up her heels. Sienna chanted once again and everyone cheered a response. Once more Elijah listed off items and everyone patted their pockets and their bags. Phone? Check. Wallet? Check. ID? Check.

“Is Raf not coming?” Becca asked as they paraded through the hallway.  

“No, he’s got plans with his girlfriend,” Jackie said matter-of-factly.  

Becca's footsteps fell behind her friend ever so slightly. What!? 

“Really? When’d that happen?” 

Jackie retorted like it wasn’t the most important bit of information, “I don’t know, recently?”  

“She’s his childhood sweetheart,” Kyra piped in. “Just moved back and they’ve been on a few dates. Very romantic.” 

Becca bit her lip, “Yeah… good for them.”  

There were so many questions racing through her mind. They had just slept together for the fifth and seemingly final time less than 2 weeks ago. Was Becca the other woman? No matter the questions there’s just one thing Becca couldn’t shake; 

I’ve gone and thrown myself at another man who doesn’t want me. 

She was determined to have a good time regardless of the mountain of rejection forming at her core. Good thing alcohol’s the best medicine… She was prepared to spend the next few hours looming in her chaos, choosing reckless behavior instead of facing her feelings. 

***

The group pregamed at Donohues for happy hour, choosing to spend their most coherent of hours in a familiar place. They downed 2-for-1 tequila shots each and played a round of darts until the board began to move. Becca did all she could to keep from staring at the empty far corner of the bar. Every time she did she took another shot.  

Then the residents made their way to a dive bar for cheap drinks. It was a small hole-in-the-wall place with not enough space for the large group. Bryce and Kyra went in to grab the first and only round bringing it out to the side of the building where everyone else was waiting. The sun had now fully set and the group was getting cold. To warm up Jackie suggested they chugged.  

Fifteen minutes later they ended up at a sports bar and grabbed some quick grub. Elijah was drawn to the TV playing a game Becca couldn’t care less about. Her and Bryce shared a plate of nachos and a double cheeseburger with onion rings. Sienna gave a side eye at how close her two friends were becoming. After the third bar the group started to fan out, Aurora and Kyra headed home needing a solid seven hours of sleep to be functional. 

Feeling the buzz and forgetting about Raf, they powered on! On their way to the club the group passed an Irish pub with music blasting. They accepted the inevitable detour and danced in the middle of the floor to the house fiddle band. Everyone had one drink before Sienna, Jackie and Elijah bowed out afterwards overcome with exhaustion. 

The last two troops gave one another a devious smirk and headed to the club arm in arm. 

Bryce and Becca held off on drinks feeling full of life from the last few rounds and put off by the elite pricing. He grabbed her hand and led her onto the technicolor floor. They danced and danced to song after song. Occasionally she’d turn around and he'd hold her flush to his chest. The sensation releasing copious amounts of serotonin and oxytocin. 

At one point she was sandwiched between Bryce and another hopeless stranger. It seemed the two men wanted to outlast the other. She found the determined glimmer in her friend’s eye so amusing. Becca turned away from the poor stranger and back to Bryce, the two men calling a silent truce. He raised his eyebrows and she mouthed “stay”. He moved in closer and kissed her temple causing the nameless hopeful to storm away. 

They stayed. They danced. They drank. 

Bryce leaned over to speak into her ear, “That guys totally checking you out.” 

She cocked her head to see a dark skinned stranger in well-tailored clothes eyeing them. 

“Maybe he’s checking you out,” she sneered.  

Bryce’s contagious and magnificent smile lit up his face, “He’s definitely trying to figure out if we’re together.” 

She made a show of rolling her eyes.  

Pointing over his shoulder he said, “I’m gonna go get us another round.” 

The mystery stranger used that as an opportunity. 

“Hey,” his tenor voice smooth and unconflicted. 

The stranger wasn’t much taller than Becca. He had dark olive skin, enchanting amber eyes, a buzz cut which is so different from her type - she liked a man with locks she could latch on to. His shallow beard accented his chiseled jaw. He wore a navy blue v-neck that drew the attention to the defined muscles beneath. He was a small man compared to those she surrounded herself with, and was a stark contrast to what she was attracted to. And maybe, just maybe he could help her forget for a minute. 

“Hey,” Becca said back, scanning the crowd over the man’s shoulder for Bryce’s return. 

Before she knew it she was bumped in the back and tumbling towards the handsome stranger. Bryce was the culprit walking hand in hand with another girl he picked up at the bar as he shot his friend an encouraging wink.

The stranger nodded over to Bryce’s retreating form, “Looks like you’ve been dumped.”  

“I’ve been abandoned by my friend,” she clarified. Becca’s eyes locked with the olive strangers and shrugged, “Guess I’m in the market for some company.”  

He raised his eyebrows and they both moved to close the distance, letting the air around them take control. His thin hand moved to her waist while one of hers laid to rest on his taut forearm. They moved in unison. She kissed the stranger fiercely for what felt like hours in the middle of the club, their tongues battling for dominance. His left hand trailed up to her hair and the right settled on the skin at the small of her back to keep her flush to him. When they came up for air he asked Becca to go home with him. 

Without hesitation she said she’d meet him at the bar in five. 

Sitting in the dirty bathroom she couldn’t believe what she was doing. She was intoxicated, alone and willing to go home with just about anyone that would give her the time of day? No. She was stronger than this. She shouldn’t succumb to this. She wasn’t desperate enough to do this.

But the alcohol took over. 

She regretted the decision immediately. 

After all this time she never expected a response. 

First with a text, Are you ok? 

Why now? She thought as she stood in the dingy bathroom watching the notification flash over her lockscreen.

She fled. 

Becca shoved her phone deep in her pocket and retreated back to the commotion as fast she could. She scanned the room briefly looking for Bryce but spotted the stranger moving onto his next conquest. She reached the base of the stairs, her phone incessantly vibrating. She pulled it out to see the same message sent a second time. Against her better judgment she typed back;  

Not at all. 

Within seconds, flashing across the phone screen was the name she longed for. 

Incoming: Ethan Ramsey 

She didn’t have a chance to say anything as she made her way outdoors before he asked in a low and stoic voice, “Where are you?” 

“Where are you?” 

“Rebecca…”  

She wanted to hang up so badly. But his voice… How she missed his voice. And he was there. He sees her messages - he called because he cares. Well that’s what she told herself. Why else would he finally respond after all these days?  

Her words were caught in her throat - she had so many things she wanted to say to him - to ask him, but nothing came out. She was rendered mute between the embarrassment and opportunity. 

“Becca are you still there?” 

She had to open and close her mouth a few times before the words manifested on her tongue. “Right where… you left me,” she whispered more to herself than anything. 

He left. He left me. 

The two ex-lovers were silent, the load of everything she’s had to bottle up finally taking its toll and Becca started to sob. All of the feelings she’d tried to box away and shrug off came crashing down. Ethan Ramsey broke her heart. He let her into his world outside of Edenbrook and vice versa. She let herself fall for him and it became detrimental, a derailment to every hope she started residency with. 

Another person she considered close had betrayed her. 

Another man had disappointed and abandoned her. 

Becca never talked much about her past, gently refusing to confront the heartache her father caused her, what Landry had done to her, how Rafael avoided her and how her idol, her mentor and lover abandoned her. The culmination broke her. 

She dropped to the curb, her vision impared by her tears. She let her face fall in her left hand and clutched the phone in her right to her ear. One word kept running through her mind as she completely fell apart on a dim Boston street at an ungodly hour of the evening, praying that the son-of-a-bitch on the other end of the line would put her at ease; 

Pathetic. 

“Bec-” 

She hung up the phone.

________________________________________

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[jksmoongf]

Kissing Fire [pt. 11]

Pairing: Jungkook x reader x girlfriend (oc) Genre: cheater!AU, angst, smut Wordcount: 11.4k Warning: smut, lies, heartbreak and more lies and maybe fluff if you squint

Summary: It always feels like there is only one person in the world to love. And then you find somebody else.

a/n: I don’t condone cheating on your s.o., so please don’t read if you have a problem with this! (also I’m not saying this is something Jungkook would actually do!) **a/n: thank you for your patience, angels! 💗 It’s been a while and I hope anyone still reads this <3 (also idk what happened to the og upload but it was kinda weird -.-)  I’m also dedicating this chapter to my sweet @struggleofarmy​!!! You helped me so much and without you, I probably wouldn’t have finished it! thank you for everything! 💗 ily  Warning chapter 11: none, it’s just an angsty mess!!! (profanities, maybe?)

Jungkook closed the microwave door on the leftover food; her eyes glued to his pretty face as his lips puckered into a kissy-shape, trying to set the temperature and the time before pressing the start button. He turned around, locking eyes with her. “We have exactly 3 minutes and 45 seconds.” He wiggled his brows but a strange feeling of embarrassment washed over her, making her cheeks flush that he caught her staring. “Noona, do I have something on my face?” Jungkook mused, mouth curving upwards into a smile. Shaking her head no, she hoped the color would soon disappear from her face. “So where were we before you said you were hungry?” He closed the distance between them quickly, trapping her between his body and the counter. The warmth that radiated off him as his face got closer and closer with every blink, made her feel all fuzzy as his fingertips gently trailed up her arms, over her shoulders and up her neck until he cupped her face. The pads of his thumbs softly caressing her skin when his lips ghosted over her own. She knew this was supposed to be a sweet and tender moment shared between just the two of them but she just couldn’t help herself.  She crashed her lips onto Jungkook’s; feeling the smile tugging on the corners of his mouth while she so desperately tried to get a taste of him. Her hands tangled in his messy dark hair, pulling him closer to her as their tongues gently nestled against each other. He sighed into her mouth when her fingers gently scratched over his scalp. Maybe, just maybe, they could ditch the food and go back to his room for a little while and just indulge in a heavy make-out session where she was sure he wouldn’t be able to keep his hands to himself for more than a few seconds. 

But the repeated beeping of the microwave made them separate sooner than expected.

With a groan, she blindly reached for her phone next to the pillow where she had placed it after being on FaceTime with Jungkook just hours ago. She knew that in the morning, she would regret not listening to him when he repeatedly told her to sleep and get plenty of rest before work. 

But talking to him was so much more important than sleeping; she just loved listening to him talk about his day, especially after an exciting event like the night before. Sometimes, it scared her that he was often surrounded by pretty girls who were a lot more talented than she was; leaving her to wonder why he had chosen her instead of someone who perfectly understood all his struggles. But at the end of the night he called her to whisper sleepy I love you’s or FaceTime until they both fell asleep. 

[Jungkook - 4:12am] 

Ah noona, I already miss you! Sleep well and have a good day at work! Text me whenever you can! Can’t wait to see you when your shift is over! I love you (∩˃o˂∩)♡

Her grip tightened around the phone, pressing it to her chest, she kicked her legs and muffled a squeal into the plush bunny he had given her. Jungkook was always so sweet; he must have known how happy it would make her to be waking up to a text from him but after reading the text over and over, her eyes darted to the time on top of the screen. 

“Shit! Shit! Shit!” She cursed under her breath, trying to free herself from the confinement of the two blankets and the robe she was wearing. In a hurry she put on her work uniform and got ready to leave, running just a few minutes late. 

Shoving the last bite of a banana into her mouth; she put on her denim jacket before slipping on her black patent-leather shoes with the small dainty gold buckle. 

As if the devil himself was chasing her down the street, she ran as fast as she could to catch her train to Hongdae and just in time she squeezed through the door right as it was about close, the hem of her skirt almost getting caught. 

She leaned against the door on the opposite side, catching a glimpse of her reflection. The wind had caused a few strands of hair to get loose, making her bun look messy. While trying to tuck the hair back to where it belonged, she pulled out her phone, finally having enough time to reply to Jungkook. 

[y/n - 10:33 am] 

I miss you too, Kookie! My shift ends at 6pm so I can come over after. I’ll bring food for you and the boys! Just let me know what you want, you know I get a discount so don't hold back! I love you too! 

[y/n - 10:35M] 

Btw, I should have listened to you when you told me to sleep. I’m so tired but also so excited to see you later. I hope you slept well, baby! 

After locking the screen, she let her eyes wander around the cart. A group of teenage girls, all gathered around one phone caught her attention. 

“Is that really him? It can’t be.” One of them whispered-yelled, immediately covering her mouth with her hands after one of her friends slapped her arm and scolding her. 

“Of course it is him. It’s his voice and those are definitely his hands. Haven’t you seen the other one?” 

The vibration, signaling a new text, made her flinch at first but her heart started racing, only to be disappointed that it wasn’t Jungkook - just a coworker sending a meme to the group chat. Yet, she went back to his chat, carefully scanning the messages she had sent to him - they had not been delivered yet. Reminding herself that he sometimes put his phone on airplane mode so nobody would disturb his slumber. 

Four hours had passed and she was finally on her break, sitting in the small back room where they kept their personal belongings during shifts. 

Her heart sank when she saw that Jungkook still had not replied; it was unlike him to keep her waiting for so long. At this hour, he surely wouldn’t still be asleep, not when he had moaned about having to go to a company meeting today. Even her attempts at calling him were left unanswered; the calls going straight to voicemail. 

A whirlwind of panic started to stir up in her stomach; what if he changed his mind and didn’t want to see her anymore? The past few days had been so chaotic and draining that she couldn’t silence the small voice in the back of her mind that kept telling her that it was all too good to be true. 

Nails clicking on the screen; she hastily pulled up Taehyung’s chat. 

[y/n - 2:12pm] 

Tae (: do you know where Jungkookie is? I wanted to ask him about editing a pic for me but he’s not responding to my messages. I’ll see you later <3 

“Y/n, Myung-Jun hyung says your lunch is ready! Come eat.” With a sigh, she followed her coworker to the kitchen, sitting down at the small table for the restaurant staff. It was odd that she was so worried about Jungkook not replying, but the uneasy feeling that something wasn’t right anchored itself in her chest. 

Halfheartedly she picked at the food in front of her; maybe she was overreacting and Jungkook had just forgotten to turn airplane mode off or he left in a rush, leaving his phone at the dorms. Either way, she had her mind set on checking up on him after her shift. 

* 

Jungkook’s bare feet made the floor creek as he entered the living room, the hushed conversations he had faintly been hearing on his way, immediately died down. His brothers looking at him like he was a species from a different planet, not one of them looking happy to see him. 

“Sit.” Yoongi gestured towards a chair from the kitchen table that they had put out, just for him apparently - making him feel like he was a police interrogation. “Management will be here any minute now.” 

Jungkook gave a small nod, sitting down on the wooden chair. He knew the heating was on but the room seemed to be freezing cold when no warm laughter filled the air and every single one of the member's faces seemed to be laced with concern. 

“Can I have my phone back?” His eyes were focused on the electronic device on the coffee table, still not understanding why they took it from him to begin with. He just wanted to see if y/n had texted him; maybe talk to her on the phone for a bit during her break- longing to hear her voice and the sweet coos of his nickname. Not talking to her for almost seven hours, seemed like torture to him now that they were finally able to be together and be happy.  

“No, we were told not to give it to you.” Seokjin said calmly, his index finger tapping on the armrest of the sofa in a familiar rhythm. 

Letting out a frustrated groan, Jungkook rolled his eyes. 

“You know I’m not a kid anymore, you can’t just take my stuff from me like you’re my parents.” His bottom lip jutted out into a small pout; contradicting his previous statement perfectly. 

“Oh, it is very apparent that you’re not a kid anymore…” Hoseok scoffed under his breath but before Jungkook could answer, he heard the front door open and manager Sejin’s voice echoed from the hallway. 

“Change the code and then join us in the living room.” 

Jungkook always admired how tall his favorite manager was but the grim expression on his face made his usual soft eyes, dark and a little scary. “Perfect, you’re all here.” 

“Taehyung is in his room. I’ll go get him.” Jimin jumped over the back of the sofa and rushed down the corridor. 

“Then we’ll wait.” Sejin sat down next to Namjoon, who had been too wrapped up in his thoughts to pay any attention to the things that were happening around him, only snapping out of his thoughts momentarily to mumble a greeting. 

Jimin knocked on the door, only seconds later Ha-na’s muffled voice indicated that it was okay for him to come in. At the sight of his best friend sitting cross-legged on the bed, wiping his cheeks with his sleeve, his heart cramped up painfully. 

Ha-na had her arm wrapped around her boyfriend’s shoulders, holding his left hand tightly in her own, whispering softly in his ear. 

“Management is here to talk to Jungkookie, Sejin-nim wants you to come, too.” He said quietly, when the younger one looked up with puffy eyes, the tip of his nose red from crying. 

“I don’t want to…I just want to stay here…” He was about to lie down and pull the duvet over his body when Ha-na stopped him. 

“I’ll come with you and if it gets too much, we can just go back to your room, okay, baby?” She said softly, cupping his face, to dim the flow of tears for a second with her thumbs. 

“Ha-na, I’m sorry but you can’t come. It’s just…” 

She nodded. “No, I get it. Just the group and management.” Pulling Taehyung to his feet, she grabbed Jimin’s wrist. “Just go with Jimin-ah, he’ll make sure you’re doing alright.” 

“Of course I will.” Jimin gently took Taehyung’s much larger hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze. 

“But I don’t wanna see him…” The hurt in his voice made Jimin’s eyes tear up. A few hours earlier when he had found out from Hoseok what had happened during the night, he knew that Taehyung would take it the hardest - two of the people he was closest to, had been shamelessly lying to his face for months, completely shattering every ounce of trust he used to have in them. 

“You can just look at me the entire time, okay?” Ruffling his hair, he finally managed to pull Tae into the living room, where the air felt suffocatingly thick, making it hard to take deep breaths. 

“Hyung,” Jungkook addressed Tae who looked like he had been crying. “Is everything okay? What’s wrong?” 

Did something happen to Taehyung? Why had he been crying? Jungkook just didn’t understand what was happening; why was nobody telling him why they all looked so worried? 

Finally, Sejin cleared his throat - he was sitting closest to Jungkook, resting his elbows on his knees. 

“All of you know why we are here…” He addressed the room, while the other members silently nodded, the youngest vehemently shook his head, making the manager adjust his position to face him. 

“I’m not here to tell you what to do, the boss wants to speak to you tomorrow in person about all of this. I’m just here to inform you of the next steps we’re going to take.” 

“For goodness sake, what have I done?” He asked, feeling the blood in his veins starting to boil out of frustration of being left in the dark. 

“You didn’t tell him?” 

“N-no, we thought it would be best if you told him…” Namjoon said quietly, not making eye contact with Jungkook, who so desperately needed comfort and reassuring from his older brother. 

The leader’s demeanor worried him, Namjoon was usually the first to speak up about any concerns he had - never afraid to voice what was going on in his head to his members. Now that he was keeping quiet; buried underneath a smothering mountain of thoughts, he wasn’t able to handle the situation like he always did. 

“Jungkook-ah..” Sejin pulled out his phone, tapping on the screen a few times before handing it to him. “That is you, correct?” 

Jungkook’s body turned to stone, his insides twisted in an abundance of knots, uncertain whether he would ever be able to untie them again. Heart hammering against his ribcage; his vision got blurry as he stared at the phone, watching the video he filmed in that hotel room. His own moans blaring from the tiny speaker, repulsed him, forcing bile up his esophagus. 

“Jungkook! Ya!” Hoseok snapped his fingers, trying to get the youngest attention when the next video started playing. 

“I-I-… h-how?” He muttered, watching himself go down on y/n. 

“We don’t know. We have people trying to take the videos down and find out who put them on the internet.” Sejin took the phone from him. 

“Once it’s on the internet, you will never be able to take them all down.” Yoongi shook his head, habitually picking at the skin of this thumb. 

“Jungkook what were you thinking taking those videos? You know how important your image is. Why would you risk it all?” 

“Looks like he wasn’t doing much thinking at all...all the blood his brain needed to make a rational decision was a little further down south...” It seemed like a lighthearted comment, masked a joke but Jungkook knew that Hoseok indeed wasn’t messing around. 

He tried hard to swallow the lump in his throat but it just wouldn’t go down. 

“I-It was just supposed to be between me and…” For a second, Taehyung’s eyes met his and he just couldn’t bring himself to say her name out loud. 

Now he finally knew why one of his best friends had been crying; he had to find out from strangers on the internet that two of his best friends had been slowly ramming a knife into his back. He watched as Jimin pulled Taehyung to his chest, who looked like he was about to burst into tears again. 

“Jungkook…” 

His brain was slowing down tremendously, not able to form an articulate sentence that would explain the whole situation. 

“So you and y/n thought it would be a good idea to take those videos for what reason?” Sejin folded his arms, eyeing the youngest intently over the rims of his glasses. 

“Y/n…” He breathed out her name. “How is she? Is she okay? Has anyone talked to her?” Jumping up from the chair, he frantically looked at the other members who suddenly found their knees oddly interesting. “I have to go. I have to talk to her and make sure, she’s okay.” 

“Sit down! You’re not going anywhere! The press is waiting outside, it’s been all over the news this morning!” 

“W-what?” He slumped down in the chair, his fingers harshly pulling at his own hair. “I have to check on y/n…” 

“I’m sorry, Jungkook but that’s not possible.” 

“At least let me text her.” He pleaded, tears brimming in his eyes. 

“You can’t do that either. We had a meeting in the morning and we can’t let you see her or talk to her again. This concerns the whole group, we cannot risk any more damage to your image. The fans are freaking out, the press is trying to dig up more dirt while asking the company for a statement regarding the videos. You made a whole mess. What were you thinking?” 

Jungkook kept quiet under the drilling eyes of the seven men around him. If they reported about it on the news then he was sure his family had seen it too and were worried about him or worse; they had to carry the burden of being ashamed of their son. But he had to push those feelings on the back burner for now. 

“I-I wasn’t… it’s just something we did sometimes when we were together.” 

“Wait, what about Yina?” Jin chimed in, looking more confused now that the truth was out in the open. 

“I broke up with her a few days ago because I love…love y/n.” Subconsciously his fingers started picking at the little fuzz on his cheek, harder than he had ever done it before. Saying it out loud to the people who had always cared for him so deeply, felt so wrong under these circumstances. He wanted them to know that being with her wasn’t a spur of the moment thing. That he didn’t just break up with Yina because y/n seemed more exciting and new - he truly loved her but he felt like they wouldn’t understand. 

“When did this all start?” 

He focused his eyes on the floor, his ears were feeling hot and redness crept up his face. He didn’t want to tell them, he didn’t want them to know what he had done without any of them knowing. The last thing he wanted was for them to find out and change the way they looked at him. They always doted on him, making sure he was okay and felt loved from a very young age, and he had betrayed them all; the six boys who raised him. Jungkook didn’t want them to think that they failed because he made poor choices along the way. 

“Answer the question.” Taehyung’s voice was cold, sending shivers down his spine. 

Trying to buy a little more time; he cleared his throat. 

“I don’t know the exact date…but it’s been months” He whispered, guilt numbing his senses - at this moment he knew that everything would change; they wouldn’t take care of him anymore, they wouldn’t make sure he was tucked in and had enough to eat during the day. He wasn’t a baby anymore and certainly not the shy teenager they had all grown to love so much.  

Telling them made him feel awful like someone had punched him repeatedly in the stomach. 

He couldn’t bear the thought of looking at them; their disappointment erecting itself in front of him like a monster that was about to swallow him whole.

Taehyung stood up, his shaking hands balled into fists. 

“You disgust me. You two deserve each other.” Pushing past Yoongi, he tried to leave the room but Jungkook jumped up from his seat - he had to fix things, he couldn’t just let him walk out without at least trying to make amends.  

“Hyung, please I’m so sorry. Please forgi-..” He tried reaching for the older one’s arm but he crudely swatted his hand away. 

“Do.Not.Touch.Me.” His deep voice was laced with venom, Jungkook’s bottom lip quivered when their eyes met, not being used to the tone that was filled with so much disgust, disappointment and hurt. He could see all the pain and anger Taehyung was feeling from being lied to that he just wanted to beg for forgiveness but it was too late. 

“Do I have to listen to this shit or can I go?” He turned to face their manager. 

“Ya! Taehyungie, don’t swear.” Hoseok immediately disciplined his younger brother but he was ignored. 

“Can I go or not?” Taehyung’s eyes were focused on Sejin, who took a deep breath before nodding. “Thanks.” His footsteps echoed loudly in Jungkook’s ears as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. Quickly he wiped it away with a shaking hand; knowing that he had just lost one of his best friends - there was nothing he could say or do that would repair the damage their friendship had suffered. 

“So what happens now?” Jimin asked quietly, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, the future of the group uncertain. 

“Not sure yet.” Sejin furrowed his brows. “We can’t just ignore it and hope for it to go away. We’ll have to wait and see what is being decided on before we make any rushed decisions. But for now, you’ll all have to lay low, especially you.” He looked at the youngest, who looked pitiful in his spot on the chair. “And that means that you will have to cut all ties with y/n.” 

Jungkook shook his head; he wasn’t going to leave her, not after everything they had been through together. Not after fighting his inner demons for months to finally be with her, to only have it all taken away from him way too soon. 

“Kook, don’t be stubborn! That’s what is best for the group. Do you want all of them to suffer just because you’re being selfish and want to be with a girl? There’s plenty of girls out there, you’ll find another girlfriend in the future.” 

He kept quiet, he didn’t have it in him to argue because they wouldn’t understand that he didn’t want anyone else, he wanted her. 

“So for now, all codes have been changed and I’m asking all of you to change passwords on your devices as well, just as a precaution. Don’t give out your numbers, we will be changing those as well over the next few days. Security will be increased and we will always have one of the managers here until this all blows over. I know, this is inconvenient but we have to get in control of the situation.” After addressing all of them, he turned to Jungkook again. “I’ll be picking you up at 9 tomorrow morning, the boss will be back from his business trip then.” 

“Fine. Can I go to my room now?” Jungkook sounded poutier than he had intended but maybe he could message y/n over on her Instagram to check on her. 

“No, but what you can do, is get your laptop so you can change all your passwords. I’m sorry but one of us will have to monitor you, Jungkook.” 

He sighed in defeat, slowly dragging his feet towards his room. 

Last night had been perfect, they won awards and talking to y/n for hours had been the best ending to the night; he just couldn’t believe that all the good things that finally started happening again, were now overshadowed by someone leaking those videos. He had cherished those videos, they were dear to his heart because it reminded him of one of the reasons why he loved her so much - he never knew what she would do next, it was exciting to be in love with her and he was missing her now more than ever before. 

* 

Carrying two bags of food and bottles of soju was more strenuous than she had expected. For a brief moment, she sat them both down to wipe her forehead with the back of her hand before readjusting her mask - the pollution had gotten worse during the day. 

As she made her way around the corner, the street was filled with cars and reporters with their mics and cameras ready. Some were trying to talk to one of the security guards which there were many, more than usual. 

“Ah, y/n.” The security guard she hadn’t seen since she came here drunk that one night greeted her happily “Bringing over some food, I see.” He closed his eyes, trying to sniff out what she was carrying in the bags. 

“Yeah, I just finished work.” She bowed her head. 

“I’m sure, they’ll appreciate it. They weren’t able to leave all day with the press blocking the way.” 

“I can see that…” She trailed off, letting her eyes wander over the crowd. “Am I allowed to go in?” 

“Sure, I haven’t heard otherwise.” She signed her name, as usual, and with a slight bow she continued her journey, walking up the hill to the building.

The increased amount of security made her feel uneasy, feeling like she was being watched every step of the way.

“What do you want?” A man in a suit spat at her before she could even open the door. 

“I-I’m just dropping off food for my friends…” Her voice was shaking, making the security guy eye her suspiciously as if she was hiding a weapon in one of the bags. 

“And your ‘friends’ know you’re coming?” He raised an eyebrow; she had a feeling that he was about to tackle her to the ground when the regular security guard from the lobby appeared by his side. 

“It’s okay, I know her. She’s allowed to come in.” 

“Thank you.” She whispered, keeping her head low as she walked past the grim-looking man. 

“Crazy day today.” He mused, laying out two lists for her to sign. 

“Why two lists?” 

“One is for us and one is for them…” He nodded in the direction of the men in suits. “I also have to make a copy of your ID for them. They want to keep track of who is entering the building.” 

“That’s fine.” She smiled awkwardly when handing him her card. All those men looking at her like she had done something wrong, made her feel on edge. One of them even followed her into the elevator, not letting her out of his sight until he confirmed with the security on the designated floor that she was allowed to be up here. 

She tried entering the code but the all too familiar click of the lock didn’t happen. 

Setting the bags down, she tried again. “6-8-1-4-2-7.” She muttered to remind herself of the combination but the small blinking red light told her it wasn’t right. 

“Why isn’t it working?” Angrily she stomped her foot in annoyance before knocking on the door impatiently. 

A set of footsteps indicated that someone was coming from the other side; she bent down to pick up the bags as the door swung open. 

“Finally, did you change the code? I tried to…oh.” She looked up, being faced with the stern look of one of the managers. Hastily she bowed as low as she could without dropping anything. “I’m sorry, hello.” 

But he didn’t reply, still just looking at her as if he tried to remember if he had seen her before. 

“You need to leave.” His voice was strict, only fueling her confusion. 

“But I just got here…” 

“Doesn’t matter. You have to go and you cannot come back here.” 

“I don’t understand, what’s going on? Why am I not allowed to see my friends?” 

“Do yourself a favor and just go. Don’t cause a scene. Please, leave.” 

*

Jungkook was lazily scrolling through his emails when suddenly one caught his eye. 

“I got an email that someone logged into my iCloud.” He mumbled, making Hoseok and Jimin look up from their phones. 

“Didn't you get the notification on your phone?” 

“No…but my phone did ask me to log in again, oddly enough.” 

“Hm technology is weird like that sometimes.” Hobi mumbled. “But it’s still kind of odd and you should definitely let someone know so they can look into it.” 

"It was on the day I broke up with…” His eyes scanned the mail. “But the login happened hours before.” 

“Do you think it was Yina?” Jimin’s eyes were wide in shock. “But how could she have known before you talked to her?” 

Jungkook’s teeth dug deep into the soft flesh of his lip - Jimin’s words had struck a nerve.

He had wondered before how she had known where she would find him and y/n. How did she find out? He didn’t make the first move, she had already been there when he came back to the room. 

“It says it was in Gangnam…not far away then.” Fingers kneading his chin, nails puncturing his skin, he tried to recall everything that had happened that day. 

He had talked to Ha-na and Jimin after practice, remembering how worried y/n had been before they arranged to meet. He had met Yina in the hallway further away from the practice room, near his studio but there was nothing that would have given him away, there had been no sign that she was upset when he saw her that day. 

“I don’t think it was her; I know her, she wouldn’t do something like that.” 

“You can’t be sure about that, Jungkook. She was hurt and maybe that was her way of seeking revenge after you broke her heart.” 

He swallowed hard at Hoseok’s words; as much as he wanted to believe that Yina wouldn’t do this, his brother was right. He brutally ripped out her heart and smashed it into a million pieces. It would only be fair for her to do something equally as bad to him and make him suffer. 

He was wishing that there was a way he could get in contact with her, but he was sure that she wouldn’t want to speak to him anyway, not after everything he had put her through.  

“Let the managers know, they can look into it.” 

He nodded when a sudden knock on the door caught his attention. 

“I’ll get it.” Their manager left the kitchen, where he was making a grocery list for a company employee to stuck up the supplies. 

“We should order some food, I’m starving.” Jimin groaned, stretching out his arms before rubbing his tummy with a tortured expression on his face. “What do you want to eat? We’ll let you pick Kookie since your day is pretty shit.” 

The black-haired boy scoffed. “Thanks but I don’t really feel like eating…” 

“Jungkook-ah you need to eat.” 

“But I’m not-…” He went quiet, the familiar voice of y/n faintly reaching his ears. “Am I dreaming?” He whispered but his brothers both shook their heads, not moving an inch to avoid making any noise. 

“I don’t understand, what’s going on?” Instantly his eyes filled with tears, his heart cracked; she sounded so lost and confused. Too weak to fight the urge, he slowly got up from the couch, fully prepared to Naruto-run past his manager to finally hold her in his arms again. Everything would be so much easier to handle if she was around; they would just go through it together like they always did. Nothing could come between them, not his boss or managers, not his hyungs or even the fans; they were destined to be together and he was willing to fight anyone who tried to keep him away from her. 

“What are you doing?” 

“I have to see her…” 

“Jk! No!” Hobi grabbed his wrist, pulling him back down. 

“Please, please, please!” He begged his older brother, trying to persuade him to let him go but he just wouldn’t let go of his wrist, the pressure making his skin tingle. 

Hoseok looked at the maknae squirming, trying to wrench his arm from his grasp - his big doe eyes were swimming in tears again, lips quivering trying to hold back from throwing a tantrum. 

His heart hurt for his little brother, as much as he condemned his actions and the mess he got them into, he could tell how badly he needed her and deeply in love he was - Jungkook never begged for anything and him begging to see her was all that he needed to ever so lightly loosen the hold he had on his wrist. 

“You heard her, hyung! She doesn’t even know what’s happening. I just want to see her, please let me go see her so I can explain it to her. She needs to hear it from me. Please…” Jungkook’s weak voice gave out when he looked up, Taehyung was standing in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks at the desperate pleading of his best friend outside the apartment and the manager’s strict orders for her to leave. 

“Taehyung-ah.” Jimin leaned over the back of the couch to take his hand, wanting his best friend to know that he wasn’t alone and could seek comfort with him whenever he needed to but before he accomplished his mission, the younger boy had run back down the corridor, slamming the door to his room shut. seeking the comforting arms of his girlfriend. 

Only seconds later, Sejin walked into the living room holding two big bags in each hand. 

“Here’s some food, can’t let you starve while you’re basically locked in here.” He patted Jungkook’s shoulder, whose face showed no emotion, in order to prevent the breakdown he felt building up inside his chest. Blinking the tears away, his pupils dilated as they scanned the bags on the table. “Y/n brought food over…” 

“What?” Hoseok asked, who was already busy pulling all the takeout boxes out to place them neatly on the table for the members to grab. 

“Nothing, hyung.” He stood up but didn’t move, eyes still resting on the logo on the bag. 

“Funny, it’s all your favorite foods, Jungkookie.” The older boy mused as he inspected the contents of yet another container. 

“Yeah, funny. I’ll go get the others.” But he didn’t, instead, he made his way to small bathroom, tightly locking the door behind him. Sitting down on the floor, he pulled his legs up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. 

He didn’t want to cry but the tears kept prodding at the corners of his eyes; her voice still echoing in his mind. She didn’t know what happened, and no one cared enough to tell her; they just cut her off and forced him to do the same. Jungkook didn’t care much about his image at this point, he didn’t care that people had watched those videos - they all had made up their mind about him anyway. All he wanted now was to protect her, to make sure she was okay. 

“I’ll have to find a way to talk to her…” He mumbled, resting his forehead against his knees while his fingers traced the engraved silver plate on his wrist. He wouldn’t give up so easily, even if it got him into more trouble. 

* 

“Take more, there’s plenty left. Tae needs to eat.” Jimin placed another box on top of the two Ha-na was already holding. 

“No, no! I’ll come to get more if we’re still hungry.” She gave the boys a weak smile before heading back to her boyfriend’s room. He refused to leave it, not wanting to see Jungkook sitting amongst the others like a sad little puppy after committing the ultimate betrayal. 

Ha-na closed the door with her foot, eyeing her boyfriend as he laid on the bed, hugging his body pillow extra tight, face buried in the tear-stained fabric. 

“Tae, I have some food.” She set the boxes down on the small table while he slowly moved into an upright position to inspect the boxes. 

“I don’t want it.” He said, lying back down instantly and turning his back towards her. Earlier this morning, he had been a lot more vocal about his pain, giving it a lot more room to breathe. But now he was in a phase where he’d cry and then start mumbling angrily, sometimes boxing the mattress. She pulled the chopsticks from her pocket, taking a seat next to him. 

“And why not?” 

“Read the fucking label on the box.” 

“Choi Go Zip and what is that supposed to tell me?” Ha-na tilted her head in confusion, pushing her bangs from her eyes with the back of her hand. “Somebody from the staff went and got food for all of us. Tae, baby - I know you’re hurting right now but we’re all trying our best in this situation.” 

He turned to lay on his back, a scowl playing on his lips. “It’s where y/n works, no staff member went to get the food for us.” 

“How do you know?” 

“She was here, I heard her talking to Sejin when I went to get water.” 

“What?!” Her voice was high pitched, making her boyfriend flinch. “Why didn’t you tell me?” 

“It doesn’t matter.” 

“Yes, it does. Did you talk to her?” Taehyung shook his head, crossing his arms over his face. 

“No, I didn’t.” He tried hard to sound cold, pretending like he didn’t care but his trembling lips were giving him away.

“Why not?” 

“I-I couldn’t stand the thought of looking at her.” 

“Oh Tae.” Ha-na laid down next to him, wrapping her arm tightly around his waist. “I know she fucked up, but she is still your best friend. You can’t just leave her hanging like this, baby.” 

He shook his head, more tears rolling down his cheeks. “What she did…it’s not what friends do. As far as I’m concerned, she’s not my friend anymore.” 

Pulling herself up a little, she pressed soft kisses to his cheeks. “I know, you don’t really mean that.” 

“She lied to me, Ha-na” He blubbered, turning his body around in her embrace to bury his face against her chest. “They both did. For months.” 

Her fingers gently played with his hair, trying to calm him down, his whole body shaking from the overwhelming amount of emotions that were rushing through him. 

“Tae, I told you weeks ago that there was something between them..”  She paused, trying to choose her next words very carefully. “Baby your heart is too big for your own good, you always want to believe that people are good, especially your friends. You’re the opposite of the grinch, you feel too much.” 

He chuckled against her skin, the vibrations of his deep voice giving her goosebumps.

“You know there will come a time when you’ll need your best friend, nobody can replace her. You have been friends since you were little kids, so please baby, take all the time you need to heal but don’t write her off just yet.” 

He didn’t say anything, only inhaling shakingly. She knew he was being stubborn out of anger; being lied to by the people you trust is heartbreaking but he needed time, time to process and sort through his feelings - eventually he would come around, he loved y/n too much to just drop the friend who had stuck by his side for so many years. But then again, she wasn’t going to force him to talk to her if he didn’t feel ready to face her, he would know when the time was right to take a step towards mending the broken friendship. 

 “How am I supposed to ever trust them again?” He croaked; her arms around him tightening, afraid she might crush him. 

“Baby I don’t know and you won’t know until you decide you’re ready to speak to them.”

Ha-na opened her eyes, taking a few seconds to realize that she had fallen asleep trying to comfort her boyfriend, who was now sleeping soundly snuggled up against her side. Irritated by the repeated buzzing noise coming from the nightstand, she blindly reached for the phone - it was Taehyung’s. She pressed the home button, a picture of herself staring back at her that he had taken by the river a few weeks ago. 

y/n - 8 missed calls 

y/n - 13 messages Maybe it was wrong and maybe he would be mad at her for doing this but she quickly entered his passcode to unlock the phone and check the unread messages. 

[y/n - 7:05pm] Tae, what’s going on? Why did your manager sent me away and told me to not come to the dorms anymore? Can you please tell me? Because I don’t understand. 7:45pm Why aren’t you answering me? Are you mad at me? If I did something, can you please tell me?

9:27pm Taehyung? Please talk to me?  Ha-na had read enough, feeling bad for the girl she had harbored a lot of bad feelings towards the past weeks when the phone vibrated in her hand again. 

Now you’re leaving me on read? What have I done? 

She put down Tae’s phone and picked up her own from the side of the bed. She was aware that Taehyung would feel betrayed when he found out what she was about to do but she just wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she kept quiet - leaving y/n in the dark like the rest of them.  

[Ha-na - 10:38pm] Y/n, it was me! I read your texts. Can you meet me at Jamwon Hangang Park? At the spot where we took you on your first weekend in Seoul. I’ll explain everything to you. 

Carefully she climbed out of bed, making sure Tae was tucked in and hugging his pillow, hoping he wouldn’t wake up while she was gone. 

On her way out she passed by Jungkook’s room, through the closed door she could hear a sad song playing, every once in awhile sobs reached her ears. Her heart wrenched in pain; the little one was suffering from the consequences just as much as everyone else. Sometimes Jungkook could be a little naive but he had a good heart and a good head on his shoulders; despite his previous actions. With a sigh, she left the apartment and was greeted with the fluorescent lights in the hallway and a bunch of security guards.

“Where are you going?” One of them inquired. 

“Not that it is any of your business but I couldn’t sleep so I’m taking a walk.” To Ha-na’s surprise, he nodded, marking her as absent on a list. 

“Be safe, Miss.” He bowed his head, making space for her to get to the elevator.

It was odd to be surrounded by so many people that were just making sure no fans or press would get inside the building; normally the community was a safe place, people couldn’t just get in but BigHit didn’t seem to believe that people weren’t going to try to get in at any cost, whether it was bribing guards or climbing over fences. 

Quickly she walked up the stairs that would lead her onto the second level and to the exit closest to her destination. 

Ha-na got to the park earlier than expected, for a while she sat on one of the yellow stones by the water, the cool air comfortably expanding in her lungs and clearing her head after being cooped up in Taehyung’s room all day. 

This morning when she woke up, she had not expected the day to completely turn upside down the way it did. And although she had taken care of Taehyung all day, she couldn’t possibly fantom how any of the boys were feeling. 

Sure, it was hard to see her boyfriend so upset, but not knowing how the whole situation would turn out for them was emotionally draining and nerve-wracking. A feeling of helplessness stirred up inside of her; she really wanted to do something to help but every single idea that popped into her head seemed silly when she gave it a second thought. 

Occasionally during the day, she had checked social media just to see what people were saying, and it wasn’t good. She just wanted all of them to stay off the internet while this was going down; the mean and degrading comments towards Jungkook would hurt all of them - he was still their little brother who they loved and adored. 

Something told her that she wasn’t the only one thinking that it might have been Yina, who somehow got a hold of these videos and published them to make Jungkook pay for cheating on her for months on end. There was no denying that it sounded reasonable but Ha-na had a gut feeling that this wasn’t the case - Yina once had been someone she would spend time with, especially when the boys were away, and the girl never struck her as someone with malicious intentions; her love for Jungkook was pure - she had not been in it to gain something from him or the people he knew. She pulled her phone from her pocket - she just had to try, maybe this was the one thing she could do to help. 

[Ha-na - 11:16pm] 

Yina, I hope you’re doing okay, giving the circumstances! I’m sure, you’ve seen what’s happening. I just wanted to ask if you had anything to do with this? I won’t tell anyone, I just need to know. 

She puffed up her cheeks; she probably wouldn’t get an answer but she just had to stay positive. No matter what Jungkook had done to her, she knew that deep down Yina was a good person, who might have just acted on an impulse out of anger. 

Slowly Ha-na got up, letting her eyes wander up and down the little winding pathway for bikes before crossing it to sit on the bench where she and Tae had taken y/n on her first weekend in Seoul to eat chicken and drink beer while watching the lights of Banpo Bridge. Why did everything have to change? A few months ago things were perfect, everyone was so happy and now careers were ruined and relationships were breaking apart, trust was lost and too many tears were being shed. 

* 

It was dark and cold; the wind blowing in her face made her eyes tear up but she had to keep running. Her footsteps echoed loudly on the pavement, as she finally reached the part of the park where the poppy’s bloomed in spring. 

“Not far…” Stopping for a few seconds, she rested her hands on her knees, panting heavily. “Just keep going…” Sharply sucking in a breath, she sprinted the rest of the way, where she spotted Ha-na sitting on a bench near the riverbank, lost in thought. 

“Sorry, I had to sneak out, my brother was still awake.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” Ha-na’s smile was weak, in the darkness the worry that was painted all over her face, made her look incredibly tired. “Come sit.” She patted down on the spot next to her. 

“Ha-na…” Almost eerily her name left her mouth, facing her best friend’s girlfriend. “What’s going on? I’m so confused…yesterday everything was fine and now, nobody is talking to me anymore.” 

“You really don’t know, huh?” 

“Know what?” 

“Haven’t you watched the news or were you online at all today?” 

She shook her head. “No, I was at work and when I got home, I had to make dinner for my brother and I was kind of preoccupied with being worried about why Jungkook isn’t speaking to me.” 

“Y/n…” Ha-na took the inside of her cheek in-between her teeth, letting her eyes wander over the black water of Han River, taking a little while to decide on how to say what she had to tell her. “Someone, we don’t know who… leaked videos of you and Jungkook…” 

“What? What videos? Did someone follow us?” Her heart crashed from her chest down into her stomach, chortling awkwardly in the abyss. 

“No, the videos you two filmed having sex…” 

All the color disappeared from her face; the contents of her stomach wanting to force its way out of her mouth. “No..no…this can't be happening.” Her nails dug into her scalp. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry but that’s why Jungkook isn’t talking to you.” Carefully she rested her hand on the other girl’s thigh. “They confiscated his phone and he’s not allowed to contact you. They want to avoid the press finding out more or worse seeing you together.”

“Is he okay?” 

“He’s very upset that he can’t see you..” She trailed off, keeping her eyes on the girl next to her, who went silent as tears dripped down her cheeks. 

Wrapping her arms loosely around herself, she just stared at her knees wishing that the tears would stop but they didn’t.

“Ha-na, I-I don't know how all of this started…Taehyung introduced me and I was just…head over heels from the start. It was like I didn’t have to search anymore…I found my soulmate…” 

Ha-na tilted her head, brows furrowing together; Jungkook had used similar words before to describe how he felt when he saw her. Maybe there was a chance that they both instantly felt a deep connection that couldn’t be explained. 

“I really tried to stay away from him, I swear. I didn’t want to get between him and his girlfriend and I know I should have waited until he broke up with her but I was so in love that I just stopped caring about what’s right. I just wanted to be with him and that was all that mattered to me. He promised me so many times that he would break up with her and although he never kept any of them, I still believed him because I just love him so much, more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I didn’t care that it hurt me as long as I had him. I can’t even tell you why we filmed those videos, I know it was stupid but it was all we had when we couldn’t be together and I was the one who initiated it. So it’s all my fault that he is in trouble.” Her hand balled into a fist, before repeatedly hitting against her forehead. “I’m so stupid, I should have known better… stupid, stupid, stupid.” She whined over and over with each word increasing the force of her hand. 

“Hey, y/n. Stop that.” Ha-na pulled on her arm, trying to prevent her from hurting herself. “We all know what you two did was wrong but people do stupid things all the time. We can’t turn back time, the damage is done- all we can do now is try to fix th-” 

“Tae knows, doesn’t he? That’s why he’s not talking to me.” She blurted out, interrupting Ha-na mid-sentence like she didn’t even listen to any of the words that left her mouth. “I know I was doing something really bad when I had to start lying to my best friend. Oh god.” 

“Yes, he knows now and he is really hurt and angry with you, not just with you, with Jungkook too.” She explained, her fingers lacing with y/n’s. “But I’m sure, he will forgive you. You know Tae, he can be stubborn when he gets into his head too much but he always comes around.” 

For a little while Ha-na just let her cry, she now had to process what everyone else had tried to do all day. 

“Ha-na…” She hiccuped, wiping her cheeks with the sleeve of her jacket. “Do you think I can talk to the company and tell them that I will take all the blame? I’ll tell them that I took one of the videos without him knowing and made him take the second one. I’ll just lie and say I lost my phone and the person who found it, did that to us. I don’t want Jungkook to be upset. It’s all my fault.”

“He would never let you do that, y/n.” 

“I know but if you don’t tell him, I can just do it in the morning. I’ll go there right now and wait for someone to show up.” 

“And what good would that do, hm?” Ha-na chuckled at the ridiculousness of her words, waiting for an answer but she came up short. “The company is taking care of it. They have people trying to find who did this. You can’t take the fall for it when both of you are responsible.” 

“But he worked so hard and I’ve ruined it all.” 

Ha-na turned around, grabbing harshly onto her shoulders to force y/n to look at her. “You haven’t ruined it all, stop saying that. If he didn’t want to film those videos, he wouldn’t have done it. Jungkook is not a baby, he knew what you guys were doing was reckless and so unbelievably stupid. Let the company deal with it, in a week nobody will be talking about it; another scandal will pop up and people will forget that Jungkook is a normal human being who has a sex-life. It’s not the end of the world, it will all be fine.” Ha-na heard the words leaving her mouth, but it felt like someone else was saying them. Everything inside her was screaming that it wouldn’t be so easy; that it wouldn’t be forgotten in a week but her heart couldn’t handle seeing the girl in front of her falling apart and wanting to make irrational decisions to protect the boy she loved. 

Ha-na checked her phone; it was almost 2 in the morning - tomorrow would be another long day. She stood, facing y/n where their ways would part for the night. 

“Promise me, you’ll stay off the internet for a while and take care of yourself.” 

Y/n gave her a weak smile. “I promise and you’ll text me if anything happens.” 

“Of course, I’ll tell you all about Kookie’s day.” She winked, hugging her extra tight. 

“Tell him that I love him, okay?” 

“I will.” Watching as she walked away, Ha-na couldn’t shake the bad feeling that was trying gnaw its way into her mind. Y/n was smiling through the pain, trying to be strong because breaking down wasn’t going to make the situation any easier. 

Ha-na reached the dorm a little later, after enduring endless security procedures before she could finally get back into bed. Some of the reporters were still prowling the streets around the fenced-in community, hoping they would find any more dirt on the matter. 

Slipping off her shoes in the entryway, she quietly tiptoed through the apartment. 

“Is he still awake?” She muttered under her breath when she stopped in front of Jungkook’s room, the crack from underneath the door indicating that the lights were still on as well as the music but the sobs had subsided. Quietly she opened the door to find the youngest sleeping on his bed. 

“Wasting all this energy.” Shaking her head, she switched off the ceiling light, before turning off the Bluetooth speaker on his nightstand; deciding she’d leave on the fairy lights above the headboard. 

Jungkook’s face was puffy from crying himself to sleep, the pillowcase still stained with tears, making her heart feel heavy. She had just wanted for him to do the right thing and now that he had finally done it, karma was lashing out at him - taking away the things he loved. He talked about soulmates and so did y/n, but Ha-na was a strong believer in people getting what they deserved yet she wasn’t sure if karma wasn’t being too harsh on the young boy with the big doe eyes. 

She pulled the duvet over his sleeping form, gently stroking his hair as his lashes fluttered at her touch. 

“Get some rest, little one.” She whispered, his lips parting in an o-shape as he sighed contently. “Everything will be okay, y/n still loves you.” 

* 

Yoongi and the others were sitting at the kitchen table, talking and drinking wine to forget how bad their day had been. The maknae had disappeared into his room after talking to their boss in the morning, wanting to be alone - sending away anyone who tried to comfort him. 

“I will never understand, why they thought it was a good idea to film themselves having sex…” Hoseok took a big gulp from his glass. “I thought we taught Jungkookie better than this.”  

The leader sighed, rubbing his temples with his fingertips. “They were kissing fire and now we all got burned.” 

“What do you mean, hyung?” Jimin asked while pouring more wine for his older brothers. 

“I mean, they knew what they were doing was dangerous, -maybe that’s why it was so enticing to them but neither of them stopped to think about the consequences and now we all have to pay. Whether it’s Taehyung being incredibly hurt by his friends lying to him or our image forever being tarnished because of those videos. We all will have to deal with the consequences of someone leaking it. From now on, we will have to be extra careful to ensure our privacy.” 

“Who do you think leaked the video?” Jimin was looking at all of them curiously. 

“Yina, obviously.” The oldest replied. “Jungkook was cheating on her for months.” 

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, getting cheated on is the worst. I wouldn’t even be mad at her if she did it. If I were in her shoes, I would’ve done the same.” 

“All of you should be ashamed! Gossiping like teenage girls.” Ha-na scoffed suddenly, standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

“And you should be ashamed because eavesdropping isn’t nice.” 

“I wasn’t but it’s good to know that you think it was Yina when it wasn’t her.” 

“How would you know?” Jin had a sour expression on his face. 

“Because apparently, I’m the only one who thought of asking her.” 

“You talked to Yina?” Jimin stood up so suddenly that his chair tipped over, forcing Yoongi to catch it before it hit the floor. 

“I did and it wasn’t her.”

“And you really believe her?” 

Yoongi waved his hand, silently telling Jimin to be quiet so Ha-na could speak. 

“Yes, she told me she logged into Jungkook’s iCloud to get the proof she needed that he was cheating on her but she did not save the videos nor did she post them online. She said she was too humiliated; she didn’t want anyone to know that her boyfriend cheated on her.” 

“Makes sense…” 

Ha-na shrugged, grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. “We all have brains, sometimes it’s good to use it so it doesn’t get rusty.” Sticking her tongue out, she nudged Jin’s shoulder on her way back. 

It was getting late and Yoongi was loading up the dishwasher before heading to bed himself. 

“I’ll never volunteer to do this again.” He quickly wiped a few water stains off the counter before throwing the kitchen towel next to the sink in defeat. 

He let his gaze wander around the room before switching the light off, the cold floor making him shiver and wanting to get into his warm, comfy bed as soon as possible when he suddenly heard a knock on the door. 

“It’s almost midnight, who….” Yoongi trailed off, waddling to check who had managed to get past security at this hour. 

Suspiciously, he opened the door just a bit to see y/n standing there, her shoulders hanging low, eyes swimming in an ocean of tears. 

“Y/n, you know I cannot let you in, I’m so sorry.” Saying those words made him feel awful, her lips quivering dangerously. 

“Can I at least speak to Taehyung?” 

“He doesn’t want to see you right now…” His voice was straining as he denied the girl any form of communication with the two people she needed the most right now. 

“Can I see Jungkook? Please, Yoongi, just for a minute…” He wasn’t sure if his tired eyes were playing tricks on him but he swore he saw tears falling from her eyes and hitting the marble tiles. 

“I-he will get into trouble if management finds out…” 

“You’re right, I don’t want to cause any more trouble for him than I already have.” She let out a choked sob, turning around to leave and Yoongi knew that he was about to do something stupid. 

Seeing her being just as shaken up as his little brother was too much for him. He had doubted their love; he didn’t believe in soulmates - he did not think this relationship had a real future after hearing bits and pieces from Jimin. But his heart broke for the girl who so desperately wanted to see the boy she loved that she found a way past security in the middle of the night just to see him. 

“Y/n, wait…” He said, stepping away from the door. “Go see him. I don’t know you’re here and I did not open the door for you.” 

“Thank you.” She bowed, closing the door behind her. 

Yoongi watched her walk up to Jungkook’s room, knocking a few times before he finally opened the door. His eyes grew wide and a gasp escaped his mouth when he realized that it was her and not one of his members bothering him again. Almost instantly he reached for her arm, pulling her into his room; a smile tugged at Yoongi’s lips. Maybe had done the right thing after all. 

Jungkook slammed the door shut, his arms tightly wrapping around her- making sure she couldn’t just walk out, not when he needed to hold her so badly. It still felt like he was dreaming, he had lost count of how many times he had imagined seeing her in the last 48 hours. She nestled her face into his soft sweatshirt, inhaling his scent that always seemed to calm her fluttering heart. 

After what felt like an eternity, he pulled away only to cup her face. Peppering soft kisses all over her cheeks to erase the tears that felt like acid against his swollen lips. 

“I miss you so much, baby.” He mumbled, his lips ghosting over hers, reuniting them in an innocent kiss. 

“I miss you too. Not being able to talk to you is the worst.” Her fingers helplessly dug into the soft fabric covering his chest. 

“I know…” Rubbing calming circles on her back - he didn’t want to spend the short amount of time they had crying but as much as he tried to hold it together, he couldn’t and neither did she. Uncontrollably the tears kept falling, mixing with sniffles and shallow breaths in between kisses. 

“I’m sorry, it’s all my fault this is happening.” 

“Noona, no! You know that’s not true.” 

“Yes, it is. If I didn’t…” She wept, looking up at him with so much hurt in her eyes that he felt his heart split in two. “It’s my fault…I made you take those videos..” She buried her face against his chest; Jungkook could feel each sob in his bones. 

“No one is blaming you! We’re in this together, baby, okay?” His arms locked around her torso as he pressed kisses on top of her head. He was clueless, he didn't know what to say to make her feel better when it all weighed heavy on his mind, preoccupying his every thought and draining every ounce of positivity from his body. There was no magical solution; Sejin had told him to just stick it out for now until people got bored but seeing her cry made it so much more difficult. He just wanted to do something; something that would make all the pain, all the headlines and tears go away so they could be together but there was nothing he could do, other than to hold her, to let her know he would never let her go - not even in the darkest of times. 

Suddenly, she pulled away to bring some distance between them. Avoiding his gaze, she focused on the fairy lights, her vision getting blurry. Ha-na had told her not to do anything stupid but she couldn’t help but think that maybe she was the cause of all of this. If she wasn’t in his life then he wouldn’t have to endure the mean comments being made; he would be happy and doing the things he loved without being worried and locked inside this apartment. 

She was ruining his career and everything he had worked for - if she wasn’t around things could go back to normal for him. She would be happy to see him happy, even if it was without her around. 

“Kookie…” His name fell almost inaudible from her lips. “Everything will be okay, right? Promise me you won’t let those people get to you.” 

Jungkook was taken aback, he didn’t quite know what she meant - his brain operating slowly from the lack of sleep and constantly working in overdrive. 

“Promise.” He attempted a weak smile to ease her worries but before he could say anything she turned around.

“I should get going before someone finds out I was here…” 

“No, please don’t go. Just stay the night.” 

“You know that’s not possible.” 

Slowly he followed her to the front door, where she finally looked at him with tears in her eyes. He wanted to reach out to hug and kiss her, not knowing when he would see her again but something stopped him. 

Her heart was wrenching in pain when she bowed to him. “Be well, Kookie! I hope you have a good life.” Carefully her hand slid into the pocket of her jacket, trembling fingers wrapping around the white gold bangle. 

“What?” He asked, panic making his pupils dilate. He didn’t understand - just moments ago she had told him that she missed him. What was happening? He wanted to stand in her way, stop her from leaving but he couldn’t move, his body had turned into stone. Unable to get any part of him to move, he just stood there like a statue even as she reached for his hand, placing the bracelet he had given to her on it. 

“Give this to someone who deserves it more than me.” His insides were screaming, nerves desperately tingling to set his legs in motion but it was too late - the door opened and closed. She was gone. His heart silently breaking in his chest; hot streams of tears cascading down his cheeks in disbelief. Where did this short visit go wrong or had it been her plan all along to come to see him and end their relationship when it had just begun? 

In trance, he walked through the pitch-black apartment and without knocking into the room where he knew he was still loved. Jimin was lying on his back, furiously hitting the buttons on his Nintendo Switch when Jungkook laid down beside him, burying his face in his older brother's side. “What’s wrong?”  “S-she broke up...” He couldn’t bring himself to say it because if he did then there was no going back - he would have lost his soulmate forever. 

Taking deep breaths, she hurried past the two security guards and into the stairwell. Cowering down in a corner, she covered her mouth to silence the sobs that were shaking her entire body. He would be better off without her; all those girls were right she was ruining his life and she wasn’t going to let that happen - after all; if you love someone you should set them free if you’re holding them back. 

[hopeless-lovex0]

I HAVE A DREAM (PART 16)

Kim Hongjoong Fanfic

Warning: Angst. Cheating. Heartbreak. Cursing. Fluff. 

      Fellow Atiny and Kpop Stans, I present to you guys part 16 of I Have A Dream 😃 This chapter was a little hard to write as I had to search up a lot about labor and delivery. I also had to tap back from when I used to work in a Hospital so even though I had to do a lot of research, it was actually really fun to relearn everything again! Also want to point out that we are getting near the end of this story fairly quickly 😢 Its still not over! I still have a couple more chapters to write but just a heads up to everyone who has followed this story from the beginning. 😊 With that being said, I hope you guys enjoy this weeks update, Part 16 of I Have A Dream!!!! 🎉 

                      The steady beeping of the medical ventilator’s came from open room doors around the hospital halls. Various forms of laughter coming from some of those rooms, families visiting their loved ones or getting ready to leave with them. Everything was peaceful, no wounding news clouding the air. Nurses and doctors praying that the night runs out smoothly, but alas their calm aura gets shattered as a young man comes running in through the sliding doors.

     His soft, messy hair sticking to his sweat-covered forehead, clothing wrinkled as if he just ran out of bed. They watched as he leaned his body forward putting his hands on his knees and gasping out for air as if he just ran a marathon.

     Finally regaining his breath, the man slams his hands on the front desk startling the receptionist from his sudden action. “ Can you please tell me where (Y/N) (L/N)’s room is!” He blurts out, nurses around side-eyeing him in annoyance, his frantic voice bouncing around the lobby.

     The nurse gives him a skeptic look, turning her attention to the computer in front of her and typing in a serious of letters. Humming out, she turns back to the man almost leaning over the counter and gives him a friendly small smile. “ I have to ask for some form of ID and relation to the patient before I give out her room number sir. So if you will, may I have an ID.” The lady says, extending her hand out and facing her palm up, waiting patiently for the man in front of her to hand over the PVC plastic card.

      Nodding his head, the man reaches into his back pockets for his wallet while muttering out right right. He quickly takes out his national ID card, placing it on the receptionist’s hand and waiting as she scans her eyes through his card and looks up to the computer. “ I'm her brother!” He blurts out, in case she somehow misses his name in the system.

      Nodding her head, the lady gives him back his ID, reaching her hand to one of the drawers. Opening it up, she takes out a plastic visitors pass attached to a blue lanyard. She then grabs a white labels sheet and writes down his name on one of the labels. Sticking it on the pass, she gives it to him with a smile.

      “ Here's your pass!” She says, the man taking it with from her while making grabby hands and slips it over his head. “ Her room number is 315. The maternity ward is on the third floor, you'll take a left from there and her room will be the second last one down the hall.” The receptionist tells him, the man paying close attention then nodding his head rapidly letting her know that he understands everything she just told him.

      Turning around, he makes his way towards the elevators located next to the lobby, pressing the button multiple times in excitement and nervousness. The receptionist giggles quietly in her hand as she watches him bouncing up and down like a kid on a sugar rush.

       Entering the opened elevator, he clicks on the third floor still continuing to bounce on the heels of his feet. As the doors are closing, the receptionist gives him a small wave and calls out to him. “ Congratulations on becoming an uncle!” She says, Youngji screaming out a Thank You as the doors are closing.

      The elevator ride lasts only a minute, but to Youngji it feels like an eternity, the muted sound as the elevator goes up ringing loudly in his ears. The doors finally open to a beige colored wall, a sign stuck to the wall giving directions to the various rooms located on the floor. Tripping out of the elevator, he takes a left just as the receptionist told him and begins his search for his sister's room.

     He follows her exact directions and just like that he ends up in front of a room, the door closed preventing him from seeing anyone inside but he knows it's her room from the number sticking out on the side. Knocking loudly, he waits to enter the room in case they might be doing some test on her but is only met with silence. He's about to knock again, but is stopped by the gentle voice of Hongjoong calling him in.

          Placing his hand on the doorknob, he quickly opens the door expecting his sister to greet him but instead he sees her quietly snoozing on the surprisingly big hospital bed. Hongjoong is seated right next to her in one of those uncomfortable green ugly chairs, one hand on Y/N’s head caressing it while the other one is placed on her pregnant belly.

         He wants to be angry, lord knows just how much Youngji wants to scream at the cheating bastard touching his precious sister but when he notices the relaxed look on his sister face he knows that the only thing he can do right now is be with her in this moment.

       Taking the other chair closes to her, the grips onto Hongjoong’s hand and slaps it away, replacing the hand on her stomach with his own. Giving him a quick glare, the only thing Hongjoong does is give him a small smile, scooting his seat a couple feet away from Youngji’s.

         “ What has happened so far?” Youngji whispers towards Hongjoong, scanning the room for anything that could keep him from looking at Hongjoong head-on. “ The doctor has checked on her two times so far. We've been walking around the hospital since we got here and all she's been given is water to drink.” Hongjoong says, keeping his gaze on his pregnant ex-girlfriend.

      “ Did they say anything about deliver already or does she still have to wait?” Youngji continues to question, this time focusing his stare on the clipboard hanging on the end of the bed. “ She was almost 7cm dilated and the doctor said it'll take a couple more hours for her to be able to finally push.” Hongjoong says, Youngji humming out to let him know he heard him.

        Sitting in silence, they both stay seated a couple feet away from each other, Youngji sending occasional glares at Hongjoong whenever his eyes land on him. “ It completely infuriates me that she called you.” Youngji mumbles out, eyes now fixed on his sister's form, watching as she breathes in and out, occasionally flinching from contractions.

       “ I'm sorry..?” Hongjoong questionably apologizes, not sure how to respond to something as harsh as that. Letting out an exaggerated sigh, Youngji shakes his head. “ Though it bothers me to no end, I know she did it with her own intentions. I wasn't picking up and neither was San, and I told her I would always pick up.. No matter what.” Youngji says, a deep frown placed on his face as he silently scolds himself for not being there for his sister.

       “ Plus she was planning on talking to you sometime soon. I think she was planning on it after she gave birth, but you're here now so I expect you be in your best behavior or else I'll kick you out myself.” Youngji says, moving his eyes from his sister to Hongjoong. The Kpop Idol giving him a nervous smile and nodding his head up and down like a bobblehead figurine.

      Again the room falls back into an uncomfortable silence, at least to Hongjoong as Youngji hardly pays attention to him. Not knowing what to do, Hongjoong stands from his chair and walks up to the window located to the left of the room. The dark night sky slightly glowing with constellations, other scattered stars occasionally shining like small Swarovski diamonds.

      His mind starts to drift, various thoughts clouding his mind, from Y/N and his child to how exactly he is going to explain to the manager why he's not at the dorms. The vibrating of his phone in his pocket brings him back to reality and he crosses his fingers praying that is not the manager, or worse the CEO. Taking his phone out, he flips it so that's he's able to see the screen, letting out a sigh of relief when he sees that it's only Seonghwa calling him.

      “ Hello..?” He hesitantly answers the call, waiting for the older male to start screaming at him over the phone. “ Hongjoong where the hell are you.” Seonghwa hisses out, the chatter of the rest of the guys in the background letting him know that they are also listening in to the call.

     “ Umm.. I'll explain everything later. But like can I talk to San, please? It's an emergency.” Hongjoong asks, hearing Wooyoung choke in surprise at his request. Why the hell does he want to talk to San? Are they cool again?” Runs around the guy's mind, eyes clouded in confusion as they all look at each other. “ San..? He's freaking out in his room right now. Why do you need him anyway? Are you guys back to talking?” Yunho buts in, taking the phone away from Seonghwa and walking to the room were San is currently holed up in.

        The rest of the guys follow him, curiosity spiked from the conversation. Throwing the door open, they see San pacing back and forth while gripping onto his phone, typing at a rapid speed. “ San..? You okay there?” Mingi asks him, watching as he clicks something on his phone and brings it up towards his ear, San putting up his finger signaling him to wait.

     They stand there for a couple minutes, jumping up when San curses out loudly and runs a hand over his hair, gripping some of it. San turns towards them, face fixed on a grimace. “ What do you want?” He snaps out, turning back towards his phone and resuming his typing. “ It's Hongjoong. He asked if he could talk to you. He said it was an emergency.” Yunho tells him, gesturing to the phone that he is holding out to him.

    Furrowing his brows in confusing, he turns to Seonghwa and mouths out a what for? Seonghwa shrugging his shoulder to let him know that he doesn't know as well. Rolling his eyes, he snatches the phone from Yunho and brings it near him, the call already on speaker. “ What do you want Hongjoong.” says San, the guys not missing the way his tone immediately changes to angry.

    “ I'm at the hospital. With Y/N.” Hongjoong says, knowing that a situation like this is something that should be dealt with maturity.

     “ W-WHAT?! Why is she in the hospital! Is that why she's not picking up?!” San fires out, the rest of the guys wide-eyed from shock. “ She called me after you and Youngji didn't answer her. Her water broke a couple hours ago and she called me after not having anyone else to take her.” Hongjoong explains, watching from the corner of his eye as Youngji eavesdrop on his conversation as best as he can without getting caught.

      “ I'm sure she told you guys the hospital she was planning on giving birth in right?” He questions, the guys as well as San saying yes in unison. “ We're in that hospital. I don't know if they'll let you in to see her or if they'll make you guys wait in the waiting area but I just wanted to tell you guys and if you can tell the manager what's happening. I don't know how long it'll be till she finally gives birth so it might intercept with our schedule. Can you do that for me?” He nervously asks, fiddling with his belt buckle while waiting for an answer.

      He hears the rest of the guys yell out an okay, Seonghwa snatching his phone back from San and calling out to Hongjoong before he hangs up. “ Hey.. We'll be there as soon as we can, and I'll call the manager right away to tell him... Also please take good care of Y/N... and congrats on becoming a father.” Seonghwa finishes off, hanging up right after, the noise of the other guys freaking out in the background is the last thing he hears.

       Sighing out, he shoves the phone back in his pocket, running his hand through his hair in anxiety. “ Why'd you ask for San..? Huh? Knowing that he has feelings for my sister?” Youngji says, standing next to Hongjoong, both of them staring out into the night sky.

       They stand in silence for a while, both occasionally turning their gazes behind them to check on Y/N in case she has any discomfort. “ I-... I did it because I know he likes her, he's liked her since he meet her. Every time I would bring her around, I would see how dejected he would be. When I would hug her, kiss her, call her my love he would get this longing look on his face...as if he wanted to be the one doing those things with her.” Hongjoong says, gripping onto the window seal, Youngji watching him with cautious eyes in case he does something to disturb his sister from her nap.

      “ The guys used to joke around that if I ever messed up things with Y/N, San was going to swoop in and take her away and I always thought it was funny. I never thought it would happen. Then I did something that I know I'll regret for the rest of my life.... The guys were right, the minute I messed up he was there for her in every way possible.” He continues, voice getting choked up when he mentions the cheating.

    “ That's why I asked for him.. Because I know that my chances with her are little to none. If there's someone that is gonna be able to love her as much as I do, treat her better than I ever could, give her the whole world without a second thought... It's San. I accepted that a while ago, the only thing I ask from her is that I'm at least able to be apart of her and our child life. That's all I desire.” He finishes off, gaze places on Y/N a smile grazing his face, although his eyes are filled with unshed tears.

     Youngji sighs to himself in defeat, he was never one to hold grudges anyway. Placing his hand on Hongjoong’s shoulder, the pats it a couple times albeit hesitantly in an awkward way. “ Listen Hongjoong.. I might have been harsh on you and I think it was for a good reason but I'm not gonna be the one to keep you away from something as precious as a baby, let alone your own. It all comes down to Y/N so once all of this eventually passes I suggest you have a talk with her.” Youngji tells him, Hongjoong swinging his arm up and patting him on the back.

       “ Thank you Youngji. It really means a lot.” Hongjoong smiles at him, arm still places on Youngji’s back. Giving him a small smile, he grabs Hongjoong’s hand and flicks it away. “ Hey! This doesn't mean that we're friends all of the sudden so don't get buddy buddy with me pal.” Youngji snaps at him, causing Hongjoong to let out a chuckle. Nodding his head they both continue to watch as Y/N naps.

                                          . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

          It's exactly two hours later that Y/N finally wakes up from her ”nap”, an uncomfortable feeling pushing down on her lower regions. The first thing she does once her eyes adjust to the light is press the call button on the side of her bed, startling her brother and Hongjoong from their slouched positions on the uncomfortable chairs.

     “ Y/N! What's wrong! Do you need me to call a doctor?!?!?” Her brother calls out as he basically jumps up from his chair and scrambles over to his sister's side. Hongjoong doing the same, while typing out something on his phone. “ I feel like I'm about to drop a huge watermelon out my butt.” She bluntly says, Youngji wincing out at the image that comes into his mind.

      “ Y/N, Here.” Hongjoong says, passing his phone to her, the screen showing a facetime call. Before she can even ask him who it is, the faces of the rest of Ateez appear huddled together as much as they can in front of the small screen. “ Y/N! Hi, how are you doing so far?! Hey Y/N! ARE YOU IN PAIN?!” Various voices overlap each other, the boys talking over each other in excitement over finally meeting the baby.

        Giving them a small smile, Y/N waves at the overly thrilled group of guys throwing question after question at her. “ I'm fine you guys. Where are you all anyway?” She questions, the background a little familiar to her. “ We're in the waiting area downstairs! The receptionist said that there couldn't be more than two people up there with you so we're stuck waiting here in this boring room.” Wooyoung answers her, getting slapped in the back of the head by Seonghwa when he says the word boring.

     “ Ohhh I see.” Y/N says, wincing in pain when a contractions hits her, this one bigger and stronger than the last one she’s been getting.

      The guys watch her over the phone, giving her looks of sympathy, some pouting when they see her grimace in pain.

       “ Miss L/N! How are feeling? My pager alarmed me that you pressed the call button?” Her doctor bursts through the door, walking up to Y/N as a couple nurses walk up behind her. “ I feel an immense pressure down there and I honestly feel like I'm ready to push this baby out.” Y/N tells her, rotating her body so that the doctor can check her more properly.

    “ It has been a while since I've checked how dilated you are. At this point, I feel like you will be ready to push so let me check you real quick while the nurses set everything up okay?” Her doctor says, helping the nurses set up the leg supports up.

     The guys all realize what's happening and begins to yell out their encouragements and their goodbye to Y/N, the bunch getting various dirty looks from the other people in the waiting room. The last thing she hears is Jongho yelling out to her. “ Hwaiting Y/N! Next time I see you I expect a small Jongho to greet me!” the line getting cut off right after.

    Shaking her head while chuckling, she notices that the doctor was checking her while she was on the phone with the guys. A couple seconds later the nurse gets done with checking her, giving a nod to the nurse beside her.

    “ Well Miss L/N, I'm happy to inform you that you are officially 10cm dilated which means that once the nurses are done setting up you can start pushing.” The doctor tells her enthusiastically, Y/N signing out in relief and her brother squealing in delight.

     While the nurses finish up preparing for the delivery, Hongjoong walks up to Y/N and tucks a couple of baby hairs behind her face. She gives him a smile in acknowledgment, body trembling in anticipation and fear, face beginning to cover in a thin sheen of sweat again.

    “ You'll be okay.” He whispers out to her, taking ahold of her hand and gripping it as tight as he can. He watches as the nurses attach a fetal monitor around her belly, other nurses bringing a table with a bunch of medical instruments next to Y/N’s feet where another nurse is standing.

     The doctor who stepped out a couple minutes ago walks back into the room, decked out in a surgical gown, a cap and a pair of blue nitrile gloves.

    Everything happens in a blur, all of a sudden the doctor is right in front of Y/N’s laying body with a bunch of nurses on standby. Hongjoong feels the atmosphere of the room change completely, Youngji getting more serious as the seconds pass.

    “ Okay Miss L/N, it's now down to this. We'll wait a couple minutes for you to get comfortable then we can finally start pushing.” The doctor informs her, Y/N nodding her head in understanding. Shifting her gaze to Hongjoong, looking for some type of comfort.

    Giving her a big smile, he squeezes her hand in reassurance Youngji leaning over him giving her encouraging gestures and chanting her name quietly.

     Letting out a shaky sigh, she closes her eyes for a moment then opens them again, turning to her doctor and giving her a firm nod. Giving her a thumbs up, the nurses stand in position and wait for the doctor to begin.

    “ Okay Miss L/N, I'm gonna count down to 10 and once I get to one I want you to push as much as you can.” She says, pausing to make sure that she understand her directions. “ We're gonna do that till I'm able to see the head of the baby, from there I'm gonna make you wait for a couple seconds then push again is that okay with you?” she asks her, Y/N nodding her head while Youngji tries to write everything down in a notebook.

     With that they start the process, the countdown making Hongjoong’s and Youngji’s heartbeat rapidly in their chest. Once the doctor says one, Y/N starts to push as best as she can chin touching her chest from how hard she's trying.

     After the first countdown, the rest go by rapidly, the nurses and Youngji encouraging Y/N and telling her that she's doing a good job. It isn't till she's done pushing that she hears the doctor call out to her. “ I can see the crown of the head Y/N! C’mon, you can do it! Just a couple more pushes!” the doctor yells out, causing Youngji to jump in excitement.

    Pushing again for what feels like the 100th time, Y/N drops her head back in exhaustion, tears on the corner of her eyes and face drenched with sweat. Hongjoong notices her getting tired, placing his other hand on her face as Y/N keeps an tight grip on his other one.

    He turns her attention to him, her eyes unfocused from the physical exhaustion she's feeling. “ C’mon Y/N I know you can do this! Just a couple more pushes and we'll find meet out baby! Can you do that for me, and if not for me then do this so that you can finally hold your baby! Okay?!” Hongjoong encourages her, Y/N blinking up at him for a couple seconds before finally snapping out it and nodding her hand.

    Hongjoong places a quick kiss on her forehead, ignoring the glare he feels coming from her brother behind him. Ignoring them, Y/N begins to push again letting out yelps and cries of pain as she continues to pull through.

    All she hears around her is the sounds of cheering coming from her brother, the nurses encouraging her on as well. Hongjoong leans down and begins to whisper out encouragements in her ear as well, his hand pushing away any hairs that are stuck to her sweaty face.

    She hears everything and then all of the sudden she doesn't anymore. The last push tiring her out completely, but it's all worth it. Everything seems muted as a single cry breaks out in the room, the wails of her baby coming right after her cry.

    She hears her brother scream out in excitement before a thud rings out right after, gasps from some of the nurses following as well. She hears the nurses rushing around the room, the noise of medical instruments hitting each other rapidly. She hears and feels Hongjoong praising her beside her, his hand still gripping hers as she lays there completely out of it.

    So much noise rings her around her, but the only one she's listening to are the cries of her baby finally being born. The cries ring loudly in her ears and she lifts up her head to look at her baby, the action causing Hongjoong to lean away from her.

    She trails her eyes around the room, the doctor holding her crying baby in her hands, nurses around her rushing up to the doctor with various items on their hands. She notices that her brother is missing and upon scanning the room once again she notices him passed out in the floor beside her bed.

    Shaking her head, she turns her gaze back towards the doctor as she inspects the infant for any bad signs. Turning back towards Y/N and Hongjoong, she gives them a big smile and beckons Hongjoong forward. “ Come here and cut the umbilical cord Hongjoong.” She says, Hongjoong gasping at her in surprise. Turning towards Y/N, she gives him a smile and nods her head in reassurance.

    Nodding his head, he moves quickly towards the nurse waiting for him with a pair of surgical scissors, handing them to him with a smile. The nurse instructs him where to cut and he does it with shaky hands and tear-filled eyes.

    Taking the baby, they place it on Y/N’s chest. The skin to skin contact causing the baby to calm its loud cries, Y/N feeling tears run down her face in happiness and relief.

    She places her hand on it's back, the baby squirming around on her chest. Reaching her hand out, she takes Hongjoong hand and yanks him towards her and the baby, smiling up at him as he caresses the baby’s back.

    The doctor and the nurses around the watch with happy smiles, the pair looking like an actual family to them. The doctor walks up towards Y/N and gives her a beaming smile.

“ Congratulations Miss L/N! It's a....”

[maxrev]

Snapchat Shenanigans

For Virmire Week @spectrekaidanalenko​

Shepard and Kaidan overhear a convo between Ash and her youngest sister, Sarah. Shepard can't help but be curious and wants to know more. Kaidan is just the innocent bystander who gets roped into a challenge. 

Ashley grinned at the screen as she talked to her youngest sister, Sarah. A pang of loneliness and longing hit her so strongly, it nearly brought tears to her eyes. She missed her mom and her sisters so damn much. Maybe after they caught Saren, the Normandy crew would get some leave and she could visit. Having had a big hand in helping raise her sisters after her dad died, she sometimes felt more like a mom to them rather than an older sister.

A call home after the fustercluck on Eden Prime was exactly what she'd needed to ground her to reality once again. Just for a few moments of normalcy and to chase away the pain of losing her entire squad. And the guilt. It wouldn’t last long and she knew it but damned if she wouldn’t ride the high for as long as she could, though. Sarah was the last one on to vid chat because they all knew they’d never get a chance to talk to Ashley otherwise.

Brought out of her reverie by the fond thought, she tuned into Sarah's conversation again. “How come you never send us Snapchats anymore? Are you too serious now, soldier girl?”

“Sarah...” Ashley sighed in annoyance. She tried to remember what it was like to be so young; she failed. “I just don’t have time for it anymore, okay? When I actually get a few minutes somewhere, I’ll play around with the app and send you something.”

Her little sister grinned wickedly, "I'll just bug you until you do!" Ashley groaned and Sarah added, "I want several. There are so many cool filters on it now! I’ll send you my favorites.”

Ashley couldn't keep from laughing, “Okay, okay, fine.”

Being silly had gotten them through the endless moves from colony to colony, the heartbreak and frustration of making and losing friends and beginning all over again, with their dad's deployments over the years. Sometimes, their mom had used Snapchat with them, first to bring some laughter into her daughter's lives and then as they began to leave the house, as a way to stay connected and have fun. It had become routine and those silly photos always showed up when Ash needed them most. Maybe Sarah needed them, too.

Thinking on the past, Ash didn’t realize Sarah was asking her something, a sly and calculating smile on her fresh, young face. oh no, this couldn't be good.

“Sooooo...you said you were serving on the Normandy with Commander Shepard, right?" At Ash's nod, she rushed on, words tumbling from her lips, "We all saw him on the news. He’s hot, Ash!"

"Shhhh!!! Sarah, stop!"

It was like she hadn't heard, “Do you get to talk to him a lot? Go on missions together and study strategies...side by side?” With every ounce of dramatics in her teenage voice, it echoed loudly from the vid. "Do you like him?” Before Ashely could even sputter a reply, Sarah added breathlessly, “Oh! And what about Major Alenko? We saw him too! I think you should go for one of them. They’re so...dreamy!” She gave a girlish sigh.

Despite being alone in her corner of the bay, Ashley felt her cheeks pinken and warm at Sarah’s assessment. A furtive glance to the left and behind her showed neither Wrex nor Garrus paying her any attention. She wasn’t entirely immune to either man's 'hot factor', as Sarah dubbed it, but it wasn't a path she wanted to head down.

“Sarah, you know damn well there’s no fraternization. They’re both my superiors and I wouldn’t do anything to mar dad’s memory or make the Williams name look worse. Dad fought for every posting, remember?”

The look of excitement ebbed from Sarah’s face and Ashley fought the pain of not being able to give her little sister a hug. Maybe she’d been too harsh but...Sarah wasn’t a child anymore. Bringing her omni-tool up, she tapped a few buttons and an image of her with a silly, squashed face came on the screen.

She sent it to Sarah. “Message incoming.”

A beep sounded over the airwaves and Sarah glanced down at her own omni tool. She grinned and laughed, looking up at Ashley with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Happy now?"

"Yes! Thank you. I'm going to show it to all my friends at school...oh, and mom and Abby and Lynn, too."

Wonderful. Just the kind of thing the world needed to see about the Normandy crew right now. "Sarah, I don't think it's a good idea to be showing anyone outside the family."

Sarah wasn't listening, typing fast and furious on her omni-tool.

"Show who what?"

Caught unawares, Ashley jumped and squeaked simultaneously. When she turned to see who it was, she wished the floor would open up and shoot her into space. Right now would be perfect, too.

Ashley saluted smartly. "Uh…nothing, sir. Just having a chat with my sister."

Sarah's awed voice floated towards them, "Commander Shepard…"

He grinned and waved at the screen, "One and the same. Who am I having the pleasure of speaking with?"

Ashley stared at him. He was engaged in a conversation with her sister. Oh no, this could not go well at all. For any of them. Sarah would talk his ear off first while also embarrassing Ashley, without even trying.

"You okay, Ash?"

She squeaked again. Good grief, she sounded like a damn mouse...hadn't seen the LT either. Double shit. She was a goner for sure. Might as well go pack her rucksack and be ready to disembark at the next stop.

"Just fine, LT. Didn't mean to take up so much time on my vid call. Sarah can...go on a bit." She'd completely forgotten he and Shepard were doing duty station inspections.

He chuckled, crossing his arms and relaxing with a tilt of his head at the screen. "So I see."

Ashley turned and heard Shepard ask, "Snapchat? What is it? Don't think I'm familiar with it and I have a lot of apps on my omni-tool."

Oh hell freaking no. This wasn't happening to her. Several thoughts ran through her head, vying for attention: Sarah could not show him Snapchat, couldn’t tell him he was hot, couldn’t ask him if he liked her sister and...wait, Shepard had apps on his 'tool? As the thoughts tumbled over and over, she realized something else…

Kaidan had snorted with amusement when Shepard mentioned he had lots of apps. Turning to look at him, she wondered just how well he knew their CO. Something else occurred to her. She gazed at Shepard in a new light. He was just as ordinary as the rest of them on this ship. Easy to forget when he seemed larger than life.

Loud enough to speak over her sister’s gushing voice, Ash said, “We really need to go, Sarah. We have inspections and we’ve taken up enough of Commander Shepard’s time.”

“Oh...yeah, sorry.” She looked crestfallen.

“We have?” Shepard turned those clear blue eyes on Ashley, eyebrows raised in surprise.

Wait...he was enjoying this? What about the inspections? Protocol? Or her soon to be embarrassment. Hadn’t happened yet but it was inevitable.

“Uh, well…” She wasn’t sure how to proceed.

Shepard turned back to Sarah, “So tell me how this Snapchat works.” He played with his omni-tool. “Okay, it’s downloaded, now what do I do?”

Sarah launched into an explanation of what the app was, what it did, the different filters and how to take a picture. Shepard alternated looking at her face on the screen and his omni-tool, confusion written on his face.

“Hang on.” Typing on her own ‘tool, a ping soon came from Shepard’s. “Just to get an idea of what you’ll be doing.”

Standing next to Kaidan, Ash felt paralyzed, hoping Sarah hadn’t sent him something ridiculous...or incriminating. Glancing at her CO, she was surprised to see his shoulders shaking. Oh no. Her eyes connected with Sarah’s in the vid, laughter in their depths. She had a sudden sneaking suspicion.

“Hey, LT, come take a look at this will you? I don’t think the message came through correctly.” He was clearly struggling to speak.

Kaidan stepped up next to him, looking at the ‘tool. He smiled wide, giving Ash a side-eyed glance. Shit. She was going to jail for killing her little sister. All the sacrifices she’d made in the name of her career, only to be taken out by a teenager.

The LT called her over. “Ash, can you come here? I think we need another opinion.”

Dreading every step she made closer to the two of them, she approached warily. Shepard thrust his ‘tool closer so she could see what they were looking at. It was the photo she’d just sent Sarah right before they’d walked up. In the snap, she had a squashed face and bowl type haircut.

Yep, going to be taken in for murder. Looking up at the screen, she saw Sarah looking back at her, childish glee in her eyes, a smile playing about her lips. All the annoyance drained out of her. How could she be mad at her baby sister? Turning thoughtful, she had an idea. There was another way to play this.

She smiled. Crossing her arms and leaning back on one leg, she gazed at Shepard and said, a challenge in her tone, “Yep, that’s me, playing with Snapchat. Bet you can’t do any better than that.”

Hearing Kaidan choke on a laugh, she knew she was on to something. Shepard stood up straight the look on his face enough for her to know he was going to take the challenge.

He affirmed her assessment, “You’re on.”

The next thing Ashley knew, all three of them were in a Snapchat war. From behind them, she could hear Sarah struggling to suck in air between wheezing. When she could speak, it was to egg them on. Before long, all of them were giggling like idiots, tears rolling down their faces, doubled over in laughter. They couldn’t continue, unable to even hold their ‘tools up to take photos anymore.

When they could finally breathe, they looked up. The looks on Garrus' and Wrex's faces had them falling into fits of laughter all over again. One by one, they slid to the floor, piling against each other in a tangle of limbs, trying desperately to come back to some sense of normal.

Sarah’s voice ghosted over their heads, “Hey! Where’d you all go? Are you still there?”

Shepard spoke up, “Still here Sarah. We just...needed a break.”

Ashley stood up, smiling fondly at her little sis, still wiping tears from her eyes. “Time to go, sis. I’ve got work to do. Enough play time.”

A pout formed on her lips, “But...I want to see the snaps. I was so excited.”

Feeling the LT and her CO stand up behind her, Ashley started to say something but Shepard beat her to it. “We’ll look through them and see which ones actually turned out. I think all of us were having trouble between the laughter. Okay, Sarah?”

If her face lit up anymore, Ashley figured she could light the colony. “Yeah, that’d be great!” Then she smiled shyly, “I could...uh...send you all some of mine, if you want.”

“That would be really great, Sarah,” smiled Kaidan over Ash’s shoulder. “We better let you go now. Thanks for the fun.”

She nodded and cut the feed. This call was going to cost Ash big, she knew it. She just wasn’t sure how much, beyond the credits she'd have to pay for going over her time limit.

Turning, she regarded the two men with a suddenly serious face. “I can’t thank you both enough for making my little sister’s day. I just want you to know, I didn’t plan this and I’m sorry things got out of hand.”

Their smiles died quickly, replaced by confusion. They looked at each other, then back at her. “Ashley, we enjoyed this as much as you. We all need to let loose and laugh. Don’t worry about the length of the call and you certainly aren’t in trouble. In fact,” Shepard added, “next time you plan on calling Sarah, let me know. I always need new apps.”

Relief surged through her and she let out a deep sigh. “Yes, sir. I’ll do so. Just remember, she really loves to talk. And loves her apps. You might get more than you bargained for.”

Kaidan groaned, shaking his head. “Which means I’ll be busy fixing his omni-tool and cleaning it up as per usual.”

Feeling more like she fit in than ever, Ashley grinned. He probably would be. She’d seen first hand their CO wasn’t very tech savvy. The one area she’s seen him fall short in.

“Well, we’d better get back to it. Keep up the good work here. Your station is clean, organized and the weapons are working better than ever.” Shepard clapped her on the shoulder and he and Kaidan turned to leave. How he even noticed with all that transpired, Ashley didn't know.

“Aye, aye, Skipper,” she called after them.

His lips twitched with humor at the nickname. Ash knew she was going to enjoy this posting after all.

[emeraldbiscuit]

Bunnies

Bnha Spring Time Event 

Word Count: 1.8k

for at @quintessential-kaminari​ -  🌸 

Note: I’m so sorry for this being late, tumblr has never deleted one of my fics before so that was a surprise. I really enjoyed talking to you and stuff, I hope we can be friends :), anywayyyy, I hope you enjoy ^-^

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I was awoken by the warm spring hues that beamed through the gap of my curtains. I groaned at the disruption of my tranquil sleeping state. I rolled over on my soft bed away from the window to avoid the blinding lights, while I reached over and grabbed the nearest stuffed animal - which so happened to be my favourite, my grey and white bunny squishmallow with an adorable pink button nose named Princess Sparkle - and promptly placed it over my face to prevent the light from disturbing me more.

My new-found peace didn't last long though. The offensive beeping from my alarm quickly brought me to the realm on the awake and living. I lazily reached over to my nightstand and picked up my phone to dismiss the alarm and check the time, 08:32. I grumbled knowing I had to get up or I would be late. 

You see, I had my first date with my forever long crush, Denki Kaminari, but I am regretting agreeing to a date for so early in the day. Who in their right mind agrees to go on a date at 9 in the morning, who?? I sluggishly removed my blanket off of my frame before I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my bed, hissing slightly as my feet made contact with the chilly flooring. 

I tried my best to ignore the aching cold attacking my feet while I walked over to my window and dramatically opened my curtains. My eyes forcefully went into a squint due to the overly colourful skylights that reached my window.

I should probably stop spending so much time inside, then maybe I could adjust to the sun easier, I thought to myself as I made way to my closet to find a cute outfit to wear. I look through my closet for a good few minutes before making a choice. I ended up deciding on a black skater skirt along with a light pink off the shoulder top, as well as a pair of super fluffy baby pink socks with lilac hightops converse.

I moved to stand in front of my mirror. "I look cute as hell" I muttered to myself as I grabbed my brush to brush out my bedhead then put on my favourite stary hair clip to help keep my hair out of my face.

Satisfied with how I looked, I grabbed my phone, keys and a small black purse to hold my items before leaving. I quickly checked the time 08:56 as I left my house. He said he'd pick me up so I guess I'll just wait. I wonder what he has planned since he refused to tell me cause "It's a surprise but wear something cute yet comfortable"

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I caught a glance of warm blonde hair out of the corner of my eye. I smiled brightly knowing who it was, I quickly waved to Denki and walked over to him. He was wearing a pair of denim jeans along with a plain white t-shirt with a light blue dress shirt on top left unbutton along with blue converse. He also had a black bag on his back.

"Hiya Denki!" I said with a cheerful tone, honestly, I was super excited for today and what he had planned - but also super nervous. Eek.

“Hey y/n!!” He said with a large amount of excitement dripping from his voice, my smile only brightened at his excitement. Denki leaned in for a hug which I happily accepted, the scent of his cologne engulfing my airways.

"So, what do you have planned for today?" I asked after I felt his slightly chapped but moistened lips press softly against my cheek before he pulled away from the warm embrace we shared.

He brought a finger to my lips and pressed against them gently as a way to shush me "You will know all in good time, my little buttercup" He held out his arm and gestured for me to hold it.

I rolled my eyes at the nickname as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks "Alright, my prince charming" I intertwined my arm with his as I allowed him to lead the way.

"I know I should have said this earlier but you look really pretty today" He stopped walking and started frantically shaking his arms like a mad man "N-not that you don't look pretty every day but today you just look extra pretty!!" He added but didn't seem to stop his weird actions. "Ahh!! I'm not tryna say you look less pretty on other days" He took a deep breath to help calm himself down "You just look ultra nice today" He paused before continuing "I mean every day, you also look nice every day"

I giggled at his dramatic acts "Thanks, Denki. You look good too"

For the rest of our walk to an undisclosed location, we shared a small conversation full of laughs and giggles and some very awkward unprotected handholding.

We eventually reached a huge gate, decorated with gorgeous flowers and dense greenery. I looked over at Denki confused on what he had plans, all I knew about this place was that it was a botanical garden. I think I was having a conversation about them with someone one day, is that where he got the idea from? Who knows

He linked his arm with him and lead us through the beautiful gate, the garden itself was stunning. Full to the brim with all sorts of artistic flowers with such vibrant but soft colours contrasting with all the earthy greens of the stems. It was honestly a sight to behold, it was beautiful in every single way, there was not one single fault in the place.

"It's so beautiful," I thought aloud, my eyes sparkled with enthusiasm to see the rest of the captivating blooms.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you, sweetcheeks," Denki said without a hint of hesitation. "Now, may I have this walk M'lady"

I nodded "You may," I said with a small giggle. Truth be told, he could have brought to hang out at the back of a dumpster and I would still be happy as long as I got to spend time with him. He seriously does just brighten up a room.

We walked around the garden, admiring all the scenery. There was quite a lot of people, some couples, some just families with their children. Some of the parents were being careless and letting their kids jump all over the flowers ruining the lovely flowers, kinda heartbreaking to see the growth of the flowers just scattered on the ground in the form of petals.

I was brought back into the world when I heard Denki's voice but I didn't quite hear what he said. But whatever it was, it certainly made him flustered.

"Denki? Are you alright?" I looked up at him with concern filling my eyes. His face was bright red and he was consciously avoiding eye contact.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just, um...you wanna eat? I brought picnic food" He asked while looking at the ground.

“Sure,” I said with a smile.

He nodded and looked up to look for somewhere to sit. He spotted a bench and wasted no time leading me to it. We sat down on the bench with our knees touching slightly.

Denki opened his bag and brought out a collection of sandwiches and snacks. “I had to ask Mina what you liked,” He said with a chuckle.

I smiled knowing he cared enough to ask what I liked. Maybe this could actually go somewhere. 

We dug into the food he brought and started talking about the most random of things. I really do enjoy spending time with him, he’s so much fun and he brought my favourite foods with him. Like how sweet is that?

I was listening to him talking about a new game he got but I lowkey zoned out cause his voice was just so calming to listen to. Though the peace didn’t last since I heard a large scream come from Denki. I looked around for could have possibly scared him - to which there didn’t appear to be anything.

I looked over at him confused, as he is now sitting on the top of the bench shaking and staring at the ground. I looked down to see a small ball fluff, also known as a bunny-rabbit. 

“Denki, are you scared of a bunny?” I asked, trying to hold back a laugh. How could someone be scared of something so cute?

“Yes, they’re evil carrot munchers!” He shouted while pointing at the bunny.

I rolled my eyes and reached down to pick up the bunny (don’t pick up wild animals) and started to pet the creature. “Denki, they’re not going to hurt you, they’re just fluff balls and they can’t actually eat carrots. They’re bad for them” I said while cradling the fluff ball “Aren’t you just the cutest, yes you are, oh yes you are”

Denki didn't appear to become any less frightened from the bunny. I looked at him sympathetically before putting the bunny down and letting it hop away into some bushed. I joined Denki sitting on the back of the bench and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close.

"I'm sorry, you must probably think I'm pathetic now..." He said while looking down, he was still shaking with fear.

I placed a soft kiss against his cheek before whispering in his ear "That's the last thing I think, Denki, everyone has their own fears. I'm sorry, is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"I suppose there might be a way" He sniffled and wiped away some tears I didn't notice existed.

I held his hand and rubbed circles on the back of his hand in a comforting manner as I waited for him to continue talking. I didn't realise someone could be so scared of a bunny but the more you know.

"I think a kiss would help," He said while looking up at me with hopeful eyes.

I looked at him shocked for a second, I guess his flirtatiousness doesn't stop even when he's scared. I giggled before leaning in, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Is that better?"  

He pouted "No, I wasn't ready," He said with a whiney tone.

"You should have been paying attention then," I said before standing up and holding out my hand "Wanna continue? I'll protect you from any evil fluffy creatures"

Denki took hold of my hand and we continued our date. We finished the walk around the garden and he walked me home.

I leaned against my front door and looked at Denki. I nervously fiddled with my fingers as I struggled to keep eye contact "I really enjoyed today and I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime" 

Denki looked shocked "Really!? Oh hell yeah, I'd love to"

I smiled softly at him "Cool. I'll, uh, text you at some point"