Tumgik
#ADHD sure is wild
Text
Me: "Why do I have a headache"
Also me: Forgot to drink anything since waking up despite that I first opened my eyes and then had to peel my tongue off the roof of my mouth like it was stuck there with fly tape, whole body shriveled up like a sad crop during a drought
9 notes · View notes
tirfpikachu · 2 months
Text
okay not to sound like a narcissistic moron but on top of my activism book about tirfism i'm uhhhh also writing a more train of thought type book about my personal experiences with lesbianism, my chaotic love life, my trans & detrans journey, and navigating living alone out of nowhere after thinking i was with my One True Love for half a decade. and also my pets, i want a record of them all somewhere meaningful bc they all meant and STILL mean the world to me... my old dogs, cats, rats, bunnies, and just all kinds of animals. i also want to talk a bit about my mental illnesses. not too much though, cuz it would just take over the book completely and i'm not keen on oversharing too many intimate details (i'm sure it'll happen though...) or at least not to the point where it's 80% of the novel
so uhhhh yeah so, basically an autobiography... but jfc that sounds so dumb and snobby, like who tf am i to have an autobiography?? i'm just some nobody disabled dyke with a blog and a chaotic life. but i really think i'm gonna do it anyways. my ex laughed when i brought up the concept of non-celebrities having autobiographies, so i gave up on it. they never knew i was contemplating doing it, but still. it made me give up on the idea somehow. but hey, i'm single, i can do whatever the fuck i want and i think it would be an awesome journey!! i love writing about personal stuff and my writing skills are the only skills i'm fairly confident in and proud of. i don't want to only write about activism or fictional stuff. i'm tired!! i want another thing to work on when i'm not in the mood to talk abt deep shit or invent shit
5 notes · View notes
a-nybodys · 8 months
Text
ed so very clearly was going through a DEEP ass manic episode with the whole talent show thing to the point that he has no recollection of it, and i for one think thats so fucking tasty
13 notes · View notes
lunarflare64 · 6 months
Text
Oooooo hello! I'm new! I'm purple like Acid is green so I think I'm literally the concept of a colour, artificial grape flavour package colour specifically. Don't know why the others don't wear skirts more, they're so fun, very gender in an agender he/they way yknow? Gods I'm energetic huh, getting complaints about wasting our limited energy by bouncing in place but whatever, we need to move around more
4 notes · View notes
revengeromance · 1 year
Text
If I can be so fucking for real and personal with you guys, cool MCR fans that I respect, what was the deal with my fictionkin era from like, 2020 to May 2022. It heavily depended on me being hyperfixated on sdr2 for nearly 3 years straight, but what was the DEAL with it. like why did that happen. it was very serious to me I lost my middle school friends because of it and shit. and if I can be even more honest I was like having kin memories and shit too like the whole thing and me and my ex were like, kin dating? AND THE THING IS IT WASNT MENTAL ILLNESS? because I kept my therapist in the loop about it and asked her multiple times if it’s a psychosis thing or indicative of anything because fucking EVERYONE kept telling me I was psychotic for it and she said it wasn’t on many occasions. So how did any of that actually happen. Was it just like the power of a deeply autistic person with a special interest??? WHAT HAPPENED FROM 8TH GRADE TO SOPHOMORE YEAR 😭😭😭
11 notes · View notes
blueish-bird · 1 year
Text
hyperfixations are weird as hell; every time I see a representation of a particular interest i get a surge of dopamine that makes me want to sprint a mile while writing an incomprehensible-yet-poignant essay about how much I like said interest. except I can do neither of those things because I have to leave for work in 20 minutes.
11 notes · View notes
shikai-the-storyteller · 10 months
Text
Something something the passage of time or whatever, but I've been following a particular artist for AGES and out of the blue I saw a post from them that just said "My daughter loved what I made for dinner tonight :)" and I was genuinely like "Your WHAT???????" when I read it.
Like, logically yes I know people Age, but my gut reaction is still "I followed you like 7 years ago when you were a baby, what do you mean you're not still a college student."
6 notes · View notes
rist-ix · 2 years
Note
What’s your mbti?
Wtf we literally JUST did that test at Uni like, yesterday, the timing of this is downright scary lol
I’m gonna be honest though, I already forgot the exact letters. It was something green though, and when we searched that fictional character data base for matches I got Aang, Jinx, and Howl from Howl’s moving castle.
4 notes · View notes
Text
I've definitely got something going on up here but I don't have the confidence or the knowledge to say what
#like? i relate to adhd posts Alot. recently ive noticed that i relate to plenty of autistic posts too#and /some/ unreality things DO get to me#sometimes i genuinely even believe that ive suddenly changed dimensions and despite KNOWING full well thats silly#i wont be fully confident that everythings normal until i can confirm it (usually seeing my family's faces)#which like. thats not frequent. i cant think of recent examples. but its happened Enough for me to be aware it happens more than it#probably should#i cant drink water at all because of its texture? liquid density? idk but putting flavoring in doesn't help. i just cant drink water#sometimes ill get so worked up about it that drinking water will actually make me feel ill#i get Distressed if schedules are changed suddenly or if takes longer than planned#and if a question is like time sensitive. like sometimes some1 will ask my if i want to eat at x restaurant and give me 5 seconds to decide#and even if like small things change i get distressed. like. i Need to sit the left side of the table near the wall or window#uh what else what else thats notable. hm. more anxiety? i feel like its a normal amount#but apparently my parents feel its a cause for concern if they wake up with their chest feeling tight from anxiety#which was wild for me to learn#theres also the headaches but those are unrealted im like pretty sure they're from my casual caffeine addiction. but that does remind me of#the sensory overload! i guess thats what it is? idk idk i just know that sometimes i get especially snappish and irritable#but that usually only happens during the headaches. but. thats probably because the headaches lower my tolerance for sound and brightness?#oh! poor object permanence and the absolute worst memory. also can object permanence apply to time too because i notice that more#like something that happend a week ago will feel like a distant memory. like i haven't forgotten anything its just. distant. doesn't feel#like i did that thing just a week ago#potato rambles n speaks#somehow i usally just chalk all of this up to the caffeine problem#while simultaneously also convincing myself the caffeine problem isnt that bad (<- gets headaches if i go like over a day without caffeine)#the caffeine is dark soda. g help me and what i subject my poor body to
2 notes · View notes
thethingything · 3 months
Text
guess who woke up in so much pain they couldn't move and initially assumed they were dying because they forgot they might have endometriosis and I guess our body once again decided it doesn't give a shit about us being on meds to try and avoid dealing with this
1 note · View note
justtogetthrough · 5 months
Text
We’re five weeks into the semester and I am already SO BEHIND on my work.
I spent all tonight reading one of the books. I have to spend all weekend reading and doing assignments. I need to catch up on articles but I also have 2 more books to read in addition to preparing a presentation and starting my first paper.
I also wanted to work on my masters research project so I can finish in April with everything but idk if there’ll be enough time. Worst case scenario I can finish up my research project in the summer term if this class takes up all my time but I’d really like to have all this done and over with.
Every Friday my manager asks me if I have weekend plans and every weekend I remind her I’m in school 😪
0 notes
arolesbianism · 9 months
Text
My birthday is in under a week 👍
1 note · View note
achilleswins · 1 year
Text
I can't be the only one who sees a "dream" (in a "half-sleep", in a bus) in which I missed getting off the bus because I was sleeping in the bus and woke up late and I ow I'm not im the place I'm supposed to be... Right?
1 note · View note
forthesummer · 2 years
Text
icb i don’t smoke weed anymore sometimes i miss it but honestly it’s not really a big loss when i think about it .. def have a clearer head since i stopped and i’m glad not to be so dependent on doing it so much .. personally i just used weed as a replacement for self harm so as fun as it could be, it was just another bad coping mechanism in place of another. it’s been a little over two months now since i stopped but i’m proud of my progress and hope i can keep it up for life and remember the benefits of stopping..no more foggy head and delayed ass responses, it’s easier to remember things, no more paranoia and anxiety, more money to save, no more throwing up when i stopped for one day, no more numbing out my mind and not really dealing with my issues, i can crave stuff/eat well without needing to smoke, etc etc
0 notes
comicaurora · 7 months
Note
I've started making my way through the playlist hbomberguy made of actually good video essays by queer creators and spotted a comment of yours on the one about the relationship between Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy, which was fun xD red in the wild!
Anyways, just wanted to appreciate how both you and Blue and you are very good at showing your sources! It's always nice to know that the people you've watched for years have good habits after an event like this, and I hope you guys are among the people that get some new fans after this whole debacle, because your channel definitely qualifies for "good educational videos made by queer people"
I'm glad! Blue's much better about listing his sources and follow-up reading than I am.
To be honest, I loved the video, but my imposter syndrome always flares like crazy when I watch an essay like that. It might be the ADHD or it might just be who I am as a person, but I feel like I've lived my whole life striving to make everything I do the best it can be, and still managing to fuck up and get criticised for things I could've done better if only I never missed anything. It's an actual gut-drop when it turns out a source I used wasn't trustworthy, or when in older videos I only went wiki-deep for some claims and didn't check every source to be 100% sure I wasn't being goat-fish'd. And this being the internet, I can get criticized at any time for things I've gotten wrong years ago, since it's evergreen online and to the new-viewing critic it's as fresh as yesterday. It makes it hard for me to stay proud of my work past the first moment of "oh I would've done that different now". There's a cocktail of complicated, scary feelings around this space, no matter how little I actually have in common with the bad guys of this scenario - it's less about the reality and more about who my imposter syndrome tells me I am. I saw several people saying that the video actually made them feel much better about their own work because it made it clear that accidental plagiarism on that scale is impossible, but if my anxieties listened to reason I would've successfully machete'd them out of my skull years ago. I just hope I never fuck up badly enough to deserve an hbombing of my own.
But my own stress aside, the hbomb essay exposed a level of laxness, laziness and entitlement on the part of these plagiarists that I think is almost incomprehensible to people who actually create for a living or even just the joy of it. How hollow do you have to be to take in someone else's writing and not consider it, digest it, let it reshape your views and then formulate your own interpretation on it, but instead to file off the serial numbers and pretend it's yours, trusting that the person whose thoughts and words you valued enough to steal will never be powerful enough to call you out on it? I go down research rabbit holes because I love the frustration and thrill of putting something together! How joyless it must be to skim the surface and borrow someone else's conclusions!
I've sometimes had people email asking for sources on parts of my interpretation of various myths, possibly in the interest of source-citing for school papers (a nightmare concept in and of itself) and with very few exceptions I usually have to tell them "the only sources were the english translations I used of the primary source where the myth was originally written, like I said in the video, and the part where I said I was conspiracy-boarding has no source other than my own analysis of the given source, which is why I called it conspiracy-boarding" and I was always a little baffled by those emails - half the videos are introduced like "this is The Prose Edda" or "this is in Ovid's Metamorphoses" or "this bit is Hesiod" so what else could they want - but seeing the hbomb of the week made me realize that truly original analysis might not be what most people are expecting from a "thing summarized." They might be expecting a compilation of other people's summaries instead.
458 notes · View notes
princesssmars · 8 months
Text
practical magick
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
a stiles stilinski x witch!reader
plot : just when stiles thought he had gotten used to the dramatics of the supernatual, he happens across you performing magic in the forest. when you fail to wipe his memory, his thursday afternoon gets a whole lot weirder.
wc : 4.678
contains : sfw. kissing at the end. the picture for look inspo is fair-skinned but the reader's skin color is not described! reader has hair! google translated latin sorry 😞i like my men loserish and obsessed sorry.
a/n : yasss a little halloween special. rewatching teen wolf for the third time bc idfk. is it obvious i love witch!reader's yet.
Tumblr media
for the first time in over a decade, stiles stilinksi was bored out of his mind.
he had previously thought that given his adhd gave him a deep desire to be doing literally anything all the time that the word bored wouldn't enter his daily vocabulary until he died.
yet here he is, kicking his feet at the dead leaves on the ground as he searched for any hidden traces of wolfsbane. the only reasons this had even happened was because he had opened his big mouth too many times and was sent on a busy quest by deaton, to "make sure the surrounding areas were safe for werewolves."
just reminding himself of what led him here was enough to tick him off again. it wasn't like the past two years have been easy, being under the constant threat of werewolves, werewolf hunters, kanimas, etcetera etcetera. it was enough to stress out the most stable of adults, and stiles was the direct opposite of that, so of course he got nervous and started talking over people and pissing them off.
"stupid wolfsbane, stupid werewolves," he mumbles, kicking at more of the dead brown leaves on the forest floor, tearing a line of the familiar purple plant up from the ground and stuffing it into the brown sack in his other hand. once he was done it was likely it would either be tucked in jars in deaton's stash or burned. he wouldn't mind seeing the latter.
its another twenty moments of grumbling and scavenging before a sound in the distance stops him in his tracks. he stands still, making sure that he barely breathes before he relaxes, figuring his anger and memories are making him paranoid of the woods.
a minute later he wishes his mind was playing tricks on him, because he nears the noise again, but this this its louder.
"its closer," he thinks.
he barely even registers when his legs start running. he may have a bag full of wolfsbane, but there was no guarantee the threat was something the plant could harm. and he didn't feel like tempting fate today.
at this point he's slightly lost his direction, but when he passes the stunted redwood stump he and scott carved their names into during the fifth grade he starts to understand where he is, and as his heart beats in his hears he knows if he turns right here he'll come up onto the old willow tree-
in the span of ten seconds he smacks head on into a hard object, falling on his ass and gasping as the air is knocked from his lungs. he blinks quickly to try to rid of the black spots in his vision, and before he can comprehend it he's making eye contact with you.
he's slightly embarrassed that the first thought that races across his mind is how pretty you are. he knows he should be wary of you, but he can't help it. your hair is a rich (h/c), seeming to almost shine despite the sun being blocked by clouds. your skin is smooth and your eyes are gorgeous and big and still staring straight at him.
you both rush to stand up. he holds his hands out in a way that you would calm a wild animal, hoping it doesn't piss you off.
you continue to stare at him. which isn't helping calm down his racing pulse.
"uh, alright. look, i'm not gonna hurt you, alright? i'm just...looking for something..."
before he can finish his sentence, you raise your hands to cup the sides of his face. his words die in his mouth and he feels his cheeks warm up to the point he's surprised they haven't burned your palms. you look determined, and for a second he feels like he's gone to heaven
"convertere et perge quid agas. oblivisceris quid hic vidisti."
turn around and continue what you're doing. you will forget what you saw here.
his mouth opens and his brows scrunch in shock. he never thought those latin lessons he took online and with lydia would pay off, but he's really glad he did them now.
he considers doing what you said, just turning around and forgetting all about this encounter. but unfortunately his curiosity is getting the better of him, and if his suspicions are correct he needs to know more about you.
"i'm gonna guess you just tried to put a spell on me, right?"
your eyes widen so largely he's afraid they're going to pop out of your skull.
"i..i don't understand, that should have worked. are you a warlock? druid?"
"no, no. i'm just stiles." he tells. his guess that you were something supernatural is partially confirmed, since you know about druids and the whole tried to put a spell on him thing.
"well, stiles, unless you tell me why my spell didn't work on you i'm most likely going to have to kill you." you deadpan.
he thinks you're kidding so he eta out a strained laugh. you don't even twitch.
he wracks his brain for a good enough excuse that will save his life before his arm moves without command and thrusts the bag in your direction.
"well, i have a uh, a bag full of wolfsbane, if that matters at all. pretty sure it does since…yeah…wolfsbane”
yours eyes dart from him to the bag, most likely not trusting that their isn’t some insta-death powder that will pop out as soon as you open it, so he looses his thumbs grip and steps closer so you can see the purple herbs inside.
“hate to admit it but you’re right,” you sigh, pushing back some hair from your face. his eyes follow the movement before darting back to yours.“ that much wolfsbane would make most supernatural or magical doings wonky.”
"yes, yes! exactly. that makes sense. im sorry about that-"
"why would you even have that much wolfsbane anyway? are you a hunter?"
"what? no, no! im not, i swear to you im not a hunter. i can explain this, really i can." he nearly chokes on his words at the speed he speaks.
you stare at him for a few seconds more before crossing your arms over your chest, hopefully about to let him explain why he has a bag filled to the brim with a dangerous plant on a random afternoon.
when you start to walk directly past him into the forest he doesn’t think he’s ever been more confused.
"fine. you can explain it on the way back.”
he’s as still as a statue as he process your words. you just accused him of being a hunter and now you want him to follow you to whatever mysterious place your going? even for him this is weird, and he’s ten seconds from refusing-
“hurry up.”
he rushes to catch up behind you.
after around twenty minutes of stiles repeatedly asking where you were going followed by silence on your end, you finally reach a clearing in the woods filled by a large victorian-era house, fully black with large looming windows lit up by warm golden lighting coming from inside. there's a nearly fully glass sunroom/greenhouse on the right side, and he can see from here the varying flowers and plants that fill the room. he wants to ask how a house like this could be kept under wraps from the rest of the town, but then he remembers.
magic, duh.
you lead him through the threshold of the home and down a hallway until you arrive in what must be your living room, not giving him a chance to admire the room before you're pushing on his shoulders so he sits in a loveseat, taking your own seat across from him. your legs spread and you rest your elbows on your knees as you glare at him, causing him to shift in his seat.
"why are you carrying a bag full of wolfsbane?"
"my friend's boss, deaton. he asked me to pick up any wolfsbane in the woods to make it safer for them when they do the whole wolfing out thing."
"deaton's working with werewolves again? does he have a death wish?" your brow raises in confusion, he notes how the fingers on your right-hand scratch at the skin on your right.
"i'll be honest, you're kind of creeping me out."
"thank you. why is he doing it?"
"my friend, scott. he's a werewolf. and so are our friends erica and boyd. and derek and his weird uncle peter-"
"the fucking hale's are back? are you kidding?" a scoff leaves you and you get up out of your chair, starting to pace back and forth in front of his chair.
"yeah, it was this whole thing with peter being evil and killing his niece, and he turned scott but scott thought it was derek who turned him. it was a whole thing. not to mention how peter came back from the dead-"
you continue to walk around the room while occasionally pausing to pay attention as the boy details the events that have happened in the past year. despite you being a stranger it felt oddly cathartic to vent about everything that had happened to him. admitting to the countless times he felt scared out of his mind but had to stay strong lest his enemies take advantage of it.
"that's a lot for a normal human to go through in just a year with no prior knowledge of the supernatural. i'm surprised your brain didn't implode from the stress."
he blinks. "thanks. i guess."
"you're welcome. i'm going to make some tea. stay here," you say, moving from standing across from him to heading to a room near the side of the room, able to faintly see some dark counters and pots and herbs hanging from the ceiling, "not like you'd be able to leave anyway."
that's reassuring, stiles thinks to himself, bouncing his leg up and down where he sits. after a minute he figures you won’t kill him horrendously if hes looks around a bit, so he gets up and starts observing the countless pictures on the walls. some are old, like the people in them are wearing outfits from a few hundred years ago, while some are colored and recent. in most of the recent ones, you’re with three older women who look just as dark but ethereal as you do.
he continues looking at some pictures and hung-up trinkets when you come back into the room with two cups of tea, handing one with a smile to the wary boy with a halfhearted promise that it’s “totally not poisoned.”
“can i ask you a question?” he asks, sipping at his tea after he discovers it’s not poisoned and actually really good. he was never really fond of tea, always preferring coffee or energy drinks when he was in a low-energy period. he remembers his mom liked chamomile tea.
“you just did. but go ahead.”
“why would you let me in here? you could have just questioned me at the willow tree, you didn’t have to let me into your house. not that i don’t like your house. i like the whole victorian gothic vibe.”
you don’t answer for a solid minute, slowly drinking from your cup as you stare into the lite fireplace.
“witches pride ourselves on our knowledge. to be aware of our abilities and surroundings at all times to best stimulate our growth. and as much as i’d like to be this powerhouse who could take down any threat, i know i’m not. if you actually were powerful and i tried to take you on myself? who knows what would happen.”
“and i’m guessing that magical barrier around the house would protect you in case i really did try anything?” he gently asks, not wanting to talk too loudly to distract you from opening up to him.
“exactly. plus if you tried anything my aunts probably would have put a curse on you and your loved ones. something not too flashy to attract attention, but enough to cause great suffering.” he notices your soft sigh when you stop talking, almost like you’re disappointed you won’t get to see this suffering play out.
“plus it’s better to know where your talents excel,” you continue, setting your cup down on a skull patterned coaster on the coffee table in front of you. “i’ve always been better at using my magic to investigate my surroundings. helps to find materials or signs of psychos roaming around.”
something you two have in common. it makes his mouth quirk up.
“so, the werewolves and all the other things being back in town, that’s a problem for you and your aunts, right?”
“yup. if it was just werewolves it’d be normal for beacon hills, but kanimas and a whole pack of alphas? who knows how much that can disrupt the natural balance and what more they’ll bring.”
he thinks over his next words carefully. scott would likely be upset at first at him for trusting you, but he was also the nicest person stiles had ever met. if you could help them then it was worth the risk.
“then how about a trade. you help us with this alpha problem, and you get the experience you need to become a great and all powerful witch. pretty soon you'll be riding your broom to your heart's content."
you can’t help but scoff a laugh as you think it over. he starts to think you’re about to reject the offer as you stare him down before you get up and offer him a hand.
“you’ve got a deal.”
after shaking on it, you send the boy back with his bag of wolfsbane and a few more helpful weeds from your greenhouse, giving him a note to give to deaton so he won’t ask too many questions.
when he returns to the vets office he dumps the materials on the operating table, ignoring isaacs joke about how if he took any longer they’d all be alpha chow by now. he can tell deaton is concerned about where he got the vials of strange red and yellow herbs, but when he reads the note his eyes widen and he lets out a mix between a laugh and a sigh. scott asked insistently what was on the note but his boss refused to tell him what it said.
before he left to drive home, deaton pulled stiles to a corner and told him that he had been in close contact with one of your aunts before something happened a few years after the hale fire that caused them to go into hiding and cut contact with all supernaturals they had previously been helping, including him as the emissary of the hale family.
as he lay in bed that night staring up at his ceiling, all he could think about was you. you were a welcome distraction from the chaos of his current life, a pretty distraction at that. if not a bit scary. which he didn't mind all that much.
the both of you spent more time together in the following weeks. at first, it was just simple conversations by the willow tree talking about the werewolf situations and checking what materials deaton needed from your family. as time went on his curiosity got the best of him and he started to ask you more questions about your life.
"so hit me if this is stupid but did you have any family in salem? or can you like make a potion ina cauldron to see if I did because I could use that as massive bargaining power in fights with issac-ow! why'd you hit me?"
"you said i could."
"yeah but not so hard. jeez, ever thought of quitting this witch thing and trying boxing."
"never thought of it. maybe i should start now. with your face."
"really funny."
(your threats kind of reminded him of derek, but had less of an 'i'm about to rip your throat out and eat your esophagus vibe.' slightly.)
but as time went on it got deeper. as he told him more about himself you started to do the same, once even apologizing for "giving off psycho killer bitch vibes" and chalking it up to being so isolated from people for most of your life. he told you he didn't mind the vibes, assuring you he liked it maybe a little too excitedly.
he could really feel the shift when one day he came up to the willow tree and he saw you, standing with a frame photo in your hands and nearly on the brink of tears. he was so shocked at seeing you show such intense emotion he wasn't watching where he was going and stepped on a branch, alarming you as your head whipped to him like a deer in headlights.
"i...im sorry. i can leave if you want."
"no no, it's," you shook your head, looking down at the photo once again. "it's fine. it doesn't matter."
"well if it's enough to make you cry id say its world ending-"
"could you just shut up? for once in your life?"
it's quiet for a minute, the only sound in the air being the gentle breeze. even thought the comment stings stiles knows all too well you're just lashing out in anger and hurt.
"im sorry."
"don't apologize. i get it, i do." he moves closer until he's standing beside you, walking slowly so he doesn't make you lash out again.
he looks down at the photo and he gets it. its you, about six or seven with a bright smile on your face and standing with two people he can tell are your parents. he can see the resemblance. you have one of their smiles and hair color, the other's nose, and by their clothes, the same dark style.
"its been over ten years. since i lost them," you whisper, your voice sounding more weak than he's ever heard it. "itd be nice if I was staying with my aunts for some sabrina the teenage witch reason but no. i don't have a choice."
he gently puts a hand on your shoulder. "i get it, i do. i lost my mom. every day i remember things about her in things i do. it hurts but its better than forgetting."
you sniff and hes about to back up when you put your hand over his on your shoulder, gripping it tightly. it hurts a bit. he doesn't really care.
"its not fair."
"its not."
"...thank you."
"don't mention it."
you give him with the materials and he's about to leave when you stop him, your hand grasping his wrist. he wants to ask whats wrong but he stops. you're staring right at him, into his soul he thinks, and all he wants is to hold you and tell you any pain he's suffered the past few years is worth it because it led him to you, that even if you asked him to sacrifice himself on an alter for a spell that would make you happy for a minute he would do it-
"this bracelet. i want you to wear it and don't take it off no matter what, all right?"
hey, that works for him.
as soon as the bracelet was clasped around his wrist he felt different. like his nerves were tingling and his brain was warm. he felt like he was going to get the most powerful migraine in existence and reached to take it off when you took his hand again.
"please. just give it a minute."
and so he did.
only thirty seconds of dull pain later and he felt normal, if not better. like when you're a kid and have the best day of your life and return home to a good meal. a nice bath, and a great night's rest. he feels almost powerful.
"hey what is this thing? did you just give me powers? is this gonna make me your servant or something?"
"bye stiles."
he gives deaton the materials after telling scott where he was ignoring the weird look on his face before the boy goes back to examining an adorable beagle on the operating table.
deaton takes the bag and bottles with an appreciative smile, his eyebrows scrunching up when he notices the jewelry on stiles wrist.
"where'd you get that bracelet?"
"uhh, i found it. at a thrift shop. thought it looked cool. why?"
deaton clearly doesn't believe him but decides to entertain stiles anyway. "the band is a normal bracelet but the charms are what makes it special. they're pagan."
"could you explain them to me? just because you know."
the vet just shakes his head and laughs before pointing to each one.
"this one, the witchs knot. standard symbol for warding off evil. its mostly used as a protection charm."
stiles admires the charm, the metal silver with the symbol burned into it. it looks like a circle with a line roped in and out of four points of it.
"this, hecates wheel. a goddess of magic, as you probably already know. symbolizes the power of knowledge and life."
this charm is a bit heavier, the stone looking weathered with a scratched labyrinth engraved on it, a distinct 'x' in the middle of it.
"and this one is..." deaton starts before his words trail off. stiles looks at it. it looks like four combined circles, each with symbols inside them. the two across from each other on the side looking like two crescent moons, the one on the top holding a basic pentagram. but he doesn't recognize the one on the bottom-two perpendicular lines forming an 'x' with little swirly lines coming from the middle on the top and bottom.
"what? what does it mean? is it bad?"
"no, it's not bad at all, stiles. the crescents and pentagram are used in another basic protection spell. more protection for the user."
"and the one on the bottom?"
"well, i don't honestly know what it is. its most likely a personal sigil made by the person who made it. but by my guess, based on others I've seen before, it might mean whoever made it has a deep love and affection for whoever they gifted the bracelet to."
stiles thought he was keeping his cool, but scott made extra sure to remind him the following days and the dumbass look on his face when deaton explained the symbol to him.
he didnt know what to do. this had to mean you felt the same way he did about you, right? why else would you gift him a love sigil on a bracelet you insisted he wear? for a second he considered it was a love spell you tried to put on him, but he was feeling iffy about that. mostly about how he wouldn't care that much.
(he apparently admitted that in a sleepy haze when he was sleeping over at scotts, and he's never wanted to die more than when he woke up and realized issac of all people heard him.)
the next time he saw you he tried as hard as he could to act casual. you asked him about ten times if he was okay, and he eventually came up with a good enough 'just a slight stomach bug' lie and regretted it immensely when you invited him back to your house, telling him you'd been practicing making simple health remedies and you had the perfect thing to fix him.
the whole walk to your house he was on edge, his palms feeling sweaty for the first time in his life as he repeatedly wiped them off on his pants. just like the first meeting, you tell him to wait on the couch and he lets out a shaky breath when you leave into the kitchen.
what does he do? does he confess? does he need to? he was so scared that he was being too obvious and maybe that's why you put the sigil on the bracelet, to let him know you returned his affections. but what is he wasn't obvious? and he was basically telling you he only liked you because you liked him? what if-
"stop staring into space and drink this tea, dummy."
he laughs awkwardly and takes the ornate cup from your hand, sniffing the tea before he drinks it. it's sweet but savory, smelling like nutmeg and milk. he can see little flakes and leaves floating on the top. he takes a sip and hums at the taste.
"screw boxing, you should be a professional chef. i'm gonna need you to give me this recipe."
"yeah right. a witch never reveals her secrets." you scoff before sitting down next to him on the couch. you put your arm up on the back and rest your head on your wrist as you cross your legs, your foot brushing against his leg. he nearly spills the tea over his lap.
he can't help but admire you. he had given you a few magazines he'd gotten from stores and stuff to better show you how people were dressing these days, and while you'd hated most of it you took to some trends, wearing a pair of black ripped skinny jeans and a pair of combat boots. he tried to focus on the rips in your jeans as to not let his eyes wander up, where you were wearing a leather halter camisole with nothing underneath. he can't help but laugh in his head when he thinks of the word camisole. maybe he was spending too much time around lydia.
"stiles? seriously are you possessed or something? normally you'd be talking my ear off trying to guess exactly what ingredients i used for the tea."
he sets the cup down after taking another long sip and turns his body to you, your eyebrows raising in what he can tell is amusement. most people could easily get annoyed by his theatrics, but after your near trauma bonding at the willow tree, you had always made sure to welcome them with a smile.
"look, i have something to say. which you probably already know, but i need to say it to you anyway to make sure you really know, y'know?"
you blink. "go ahead."
he breathes in and out a few times, his previous confidence suddenly disappearing.
"let me guess, you saw the sigil and now you're going to confess your love to me?"
he goes into a near coughing fit.
"how, well thanks because now i dont have to actually say it, but if you had given me a minute-"
before he knows it you're scooting closer, your faces just a few inches apart. you're staring at him with that same look you had when you gave him the bracelet. his breath is picking up and he bites his bottom lip, your eyes darting to the motion.
"can i kiss you?"
"yes, god yes-"
your hand grips his chin and brings his lips to yours, the intensity and plushness of it nearly driving him insane. he doesn't really know what to do with his hands, settling to just keep them on his lap before your other hand brings them to your waist and squeezes them in place. at this point you're nearly on his lap and that combined with the kiss and the fact he swears he just felt your tongue poke his lip is going to be the death of him.
he pulls away from the kiss and kneads his hands on your hips, able to feel the softness of your skin on the places where the camisole lifts up.
"wow. i mean just...arent you a recluse? where'd you learn to kiss like that? have you like, conjured up clones to practice with or something."
"stiles?"
"yeah?"
"shut up and kiss me again."
"whatever you say, babe."
for the first time in his life, stiles stilinksi thinks everything is gonna work out.
Tumblr media
ty for reading! had to tell myself to get up off my ass and write at 3am and wrote about half of this so sorry for any dialogue inconsistencies. love you bye bye.
Tumblr media
686 notes · View notes