#AHHHH IM SO ILL ABOUT HIM GENUINELY

[aashiqui-aashiqui]

mitch santner you will always be famous to me

[skrimblo]

Top 3 characters in El Filibusterismo/Noli me Tangere and why 🥺

AHHHH I NEVER DID THESE THINGS im quite bad at collecting my thoughts so sorry if this is messy and near incomprehensible im only good at word vomits #1 simoun: i am VERY very biased about this if ill be honest im so sorry. I genuinely have a love for characters who are so revenge driven that they start hurting others around them (see; percy de rolo from tlovm) not only that his transformation from the idealistic crisostomo to this ruthless cynical simoun is genuinely so staggering and great i genuinely love it so much. His philosophy of evil for evil and how he generally carries himself throughout the novel is also amazing and its so good because of it whenever were seeing moments of his "evil guy" persona crack (when he saw maria claras locket; finding out maria claras death) AND HE HAS WHITE HAIR CMON #2 Elias AGAIN BIASED AS WELL im so sorry i love self sacrifical characters ok. But also his loyalty to crisostomo in noli is sooo !!!!! elibarra aside i genuinely love how loyal this man is that he saved crisostomos ass like three times and then dying whilst doing so :( His wants for a bloody revolt being tempered the more the novel progresses due to understanding more of others viewpoint like from pilosopo tasio leading him to understand that a it would only cause innocents to suffer is so good, further more refusing his plans on revenge then redeeming himself by sacrificing his life as well shows so much of his growth as a character plus ang pogi nya pa keme lng #3 Basilio I havent finished el fili yet forgive me but i love how basilios so optimistic in the novel like SOMEONE SAVE THIS DUDE he doesnt deserve the shit he went through!! but also his optimism and hope for the future being constantly challenged by simoun is so!?@? his rejection towards simouns offering to join the revolt despite the tragedies he underwent from the hands of the friars shows so much of his strong values. Those values inevitably cracking by leaving that optimistic mindset and joining the revolt after losing juli since he no longer has anything else to lose made me so sad man :( someone save him

[brisquad-unit-4402]

IM LOSING IT OVER YOUR RECENT IKE FIC. LIKE OH MY GOD. its so sweet and heartwrenching i felt just as nervous and anxious as reader the entire time, and when ike reciprocated my heart MELTED AHHH his freckles!!! how kind and beautiful he is, and his confusion turning into acceptance and his SQUEALSSS AAAA. i cant take it this is my fav ike and probably luxiem fic of all time. all of your hard work paid off so well, it was so well structured and emotional and everyone felt so real!! like they arent characters, theyre actual people!!

ahh, now i wish i knew ike's perspective during those stream moments and his reaction to pen and paper ship content HAHA. i imagine he swiftly bookmarks it on his private account but he keeps blushing and his hands shake whenever he sees any fanart WAAAH. maybe one time he sees pen and paper kissing and he cant properly look at the notifications from reader's chat without FLUSHING RED i love them so bad

i love whenever i'm reading a fanfic and it's so sweetly emotional that you feel your own emotions kicking in. so whenever i hear my work has that effect on someone else it's one of the nicest feelings in the world and WHAT DO YOU MEAN FAVORITE IKE AND/OR LUXIEM FIC EVER. that's super high praise thank youuuuu sobsobsob

i mean this is the kindest most /posi way possible but "they aren't charcters, they're actual people" is the scariest compliment i've ever heard. like on one hand i'm genuinely happy! i worked really hard on keeping multifaceted personalities in mind even for the minor characters! but also Oh No. I'm Writing Vtubers. We Need To Play This So Carefully And So Conscious Of The Creator/Audience Boundary Or My Ass Is GONE

real talk one of my most favorite ike things is when he squeals at something cute or because he's embarrassed ahhhh. and his speaking voice gets so high pitched and soft when he's flustered too like?? it's probably my favorite charm point of his

the ogs remember the poll i ran like a month ago about if ike should have freckles or not. shoutout to the landslide victory, if i remember correctly 97% of voters wanted ike with freckles! so glad that worked out, it works so well with the star theme and the difference between an online friendship meeting irl, and how reader loves them because it's a reminder that they have so much to learn about ike and are ready/willing, and also, freckles are just plain adorable. ike is just plain adorable. put them together and if i were richer and thirstier i'd be commissioning an artist

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

real talk tho i feel like ike goes from 1 to 100 whenever he catches himself simping over reader before the off-collab. either he's really good at acting composed, being normal, just interacting with his best friend like best friends do... or he's a stuttering, blushy mess that wavers like jell-o.

ike's the type of guy to sleepily check twitter before going to bed and whenever he sees pen and paper on his fyp it's like he snaps awake. maybe even squeaks or goes "a!" if it's especially.... you know. sometimes he can't even comprehend that people want him and reader to. well. his mouth goes dry.

and then he feels so dirty and embarrassed just because it's there, but... he's still looking at it. is it bad he's still looking at it? it definitely is but it's captivating, in a way. somehow. the artists are so talented, and somehow they nail your body language to a t, and the way your hair swoops above your eyes, and draw you with the cutest little expressions, and—

ah, who is he kidding.

in moments of weakness it triggers something in him to bury his face a little deeper in his blankets, pretend the screen's light would cool the heat pooling over his cheeks, and search the hashtag himself.

not even three pieces of fanart later, he has to throw his phone face-down on the mattress, cover his blush with a pillow, and now he's definitely squealing. it's healing and it makes him ill. it's... pretty. you're pretty. and he's pretty dumb for letting a silly crush distort itself like this.

the worst part is that some of these line up a little too well with daydreams he wanted to lock away until the end of time. he likes when he takes the lead. the stunned, puppyish expression so rare it only shows up on your face during the biggest plot twists during a stream, but coated in a darkened blush as he pecks them on the cheek, elegant and composed. calm.

ohhhh, this can't be good for his heart. especially when ike himself is so red-faced just thinking of it. calm, his foot.

still with the pillow over his flush, ike feels around for his phone and sets it on his nightstand. he chides himself. that's enough internet for the day, eveland! now quit acting like a shoujo high schooler in love and go to bed already, it's not going to happen!

he sets his face into a determined frown as he lifts the pillow and sets it aside. with any luck, he'd go the rest of the night without thinking of reader and his feelings for them.

the frown eases as he nestles into his blankets and tucks himself in. soft sheets and warm comfort greet him as he shuts his eyes, and he enters the fluffy haze of sleep as he slips into dreamland...

...is what he'd like to say, but not even ten seconds later his eyes snap open and jerks upright in bed. wait, i'm acting like i'm in love?!

he sits with the thought seeping through his brain like a corrosive acid, filing through every little moment he daydreamed about you, and when those don't paint him a picture he likes, he tries to recall the moments he shared with you instead. those are even fonder, and even worse.

he slaps his hands over his face and sighs, and when it sounds lovesick he sighs even more.

✧. ┊ masterpost ✧. ┊ kofi

[oatmilktruther]

hi 👀

for the "get to know your writer meme"...... I want to know all 77

BUT

I am restricting myself to asking you JUST the following: 4, 10, 20, 29, 39 (specifically, feel free to murder me with the fight club au), 54, 56, 64 (an answer I definitely won't use for nefarious purposes so don't feel the need to answer carefully)

AHHHH THANK YOU FOR GIVING ME SO MANY MY FRIEND

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

where dont i find inspiration…. everything reminds me of them EVERYTHING. but one of my biggest inspos is music i’ll listen to a song and i’ll be like. okay but what if this was about Them.

10. Cltr+f "blinks" on your WIP & copy paste the first sentence/paragraph that comes up

blinks is not in there and neither is blink. if you wanna pick another ill go looking for you.

20. Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

well ed always has adhd and stede is always autistic but other than that no i havent noticed and i think its because every time i write an au im so deliberately trying to create a unique space that i almost develop my own set of language styles for it. it gets a unique texture. or maybe my stuff is super repetitive and i sound wanky as hell right now and i’ll take that too.

29. What’s your revision or editing process like?

well for one shots that are not super important to me ill reread a couple times just to make sure its legible, for longer one shots ill have s beta go over it and pick at it and ill actually chew on the edits and make sure i land what im trying to sell. for my long fic i wrote a first draft and then chapter by chapter i went “is this thematically consistent do i like how it sounds do i even like this” and i wrote and rewrote MANY pieces

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

HAHA IM COMING FOR YOU KATHERINE

from the not fight club au

“Exactly how he snaps up his gaze when Ed is still a few paces away, how his gaze falls on him, heavy like a steel toed boot, heavy like a string of someone else’s pearls around a neck, heavy like heavy like heavy.

Exacting as he steps forward, one, two, into Ed’s space, grips his hands into Ed’s jacket, one, two, steps back, twists, dragging Ed with him, one, two, until Ed’s pressed against the back of the car.

(Hungry) (it is hungry) (it is starving) (Ed’s own stomach growls)

There’s a beat where Stede waits, a beat where Ed nods, one, two, and then—

And then Stede kisses Ed.

(and then Stede kisses Ed) (and then Stede kisses Ed) (and then Stede kisses Ed)

And then Ed kisses Stede.”

54. What’s your favorite part about the fanfiction writing process?

putting my beautiful baby girl ed in situations. just lots of wish fulfilment playing with my favorite barbie.

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

i really like that everything i write has distinctive voice in it. everything i write has serial numbers on it, like its definitely mine.

64. Something you love to see in smut.

as MCR once said (and its hilarious because this is genuinely the song thats come on shuffle as im typing this): Blood!

no seriously. blood. i love blood. gimme some blood.

[spookyserenades]

I hate you. I love you. My heart is beating out my my bum. This chapter was alot. The ups, the downs. Im almost at a loss for words. I want to say some of my thoughts for the chapter. I have a very strong feeling that Jin and Hannah know about y/n's inner thoughts and feelings. Know that she feels romantic feelings for Jin hence Hannah's warnings. Jimin and Y/ns Morning outings were very cute, glad that they are interacting. He was one of the ones aside from kook and Joon who I felt were holding y/n at arms length. How incredibly GAGGED I was that everyone Essentially knew about yn and Yoongi already. I feel so very sad for Tae and Jin because it was already pretty obvious that they had ( Tae especially) had romantic feelings for y/n but then I remember this is an ot!7 fic so I feel a little bit better. And the spicy scene... y/n you naughty naughty 🫣🫣. The ending. I hope Y/N and Tae can make amends soon because that was painful. Ill end with saying how much I love your fic and Thankyou so much for Taking Your time to write every month. Your awesome and extremely talented 🩷

I love love love YOU!!! I apologize for the emotional rollercoaster, but it's all in good fun, honey 💕😉

I think you're right, I think that Hannah caught scent of Y/N's attraction to Seokjin. Especially after years that Hannah and Seokjin spent together, she probably caught on pretty quickly how Y/N felt. Additionally, throughout the lunch, Hannah probably noticed how affectionate/fond he is towards Y/N. Seokjin, however, is pretty dense (like Yoongi said) and is also probably used to smelling the scent of attraction when he interacts with people (I mean, he's gorgeous) so I'm not quite sure if he knows Y/N is into him. He's one of the hybrids I can say for sure is definitely into Y/N, though 🥺

It was high time for some Jimin x Y/N moments!! With everything going on in these Yoongi-centered chapters, he took a little bit of a backseat plot-wise, but that won't be for long. Especially when it's spring in the Trouvaille universe, I have a feeling Y/N will be spending much more time with him outside 💜

fdklsfja GAGGED I'm crying like they really thought they were slick... Joon has quite the perception, and Jeongguk is just along for the ride, at this point. I think Hoseok, Seokjin, and Taehyung were genuinely oblivious, which is hilarious and also sad, but Jimin caught on for sure, which is why he was disappointed that he wasn't confided in. You're right! The angst will not last forever, and everyone will get their happy ending eventually, so don't you fret 🥰

AHHHH and thank you so much for reading and supporting me, it means so much! You're very kind with your compliments and I am sending you my love 💕 💗 💖

P.S... I LOVE YOUR USERNAME 🥺 Sehun is one of my absolute favorite idols, he's such a sweetheart. While he's not my Exo bias, I would die for Sehun 💀

[fairybin]

hi hi hello ur messages r closed so ill just write it here !!

but abt ur sneaky link post, i think he is trying to get to know you or else he wouldnt go through that much effort (??), if he was there just to boink, he would have made heavy moves on you and been more forward abt it

HOWEVER, the fact that he directed the convo to boinking is kinda weird so i would be careful just in case bc he's not really making his full intentions clear, but apart from that he seems nice enough (from what you've said)

also ur genuinely so gorgeous ur my dream girl bye

remember to take care of urself and im always here if u need to talk (even though i've never reached out before😭😭) ily mwah !!!

AHHHH ILY! i didn’t even realize i had my messages turned off still but they’re opened again if you wanted to talk 1:1!!

and omg that’s what one of my detective girls said about how he wouldn’t have even tried to see me again yesterday on his day off if he wasn’t interested but yesss i will be careful meeting w him until i can get a better feel on him bc im still on the fence on him 😵‍💫

[haejjoon]

had an absolutely bonkers day at work SO i reread the 5th chapter and immediately!! crops watered skin moisturiser anxiety gone im feeling so good now woah...........

moments i absolutely adore: goro knowingly utilizing gap moe, goro imitating ryuji and ryuji laughing with it, goro unused to being bickered over by HIS FRIENDS, the neat-o explanation for changing clothes in the metaverse, robin & ryuji, goro being a nerd and also loving the praise he gets but not allowing himself to bask in it for long, AKIRA

my bby is here again ive missed him 🥺🥺🥺 i love how nicely him appearing ties into with THE FOOL, because he sorta is one yeah? it's like a little nod to the canon p5 (where thematically akira can be said to be the fool, gaining enlightment and spirituality via his bonds as the game progresses; but also where yaldabaoth is the fool confidant AND is the one behind akira in the swap au). it's also a little 👀👀👀 with how goro unlocks the fool confidant the moment akira comes into the picture, like it's not just the ryuji-ann-morgana group who are the fool confidant for goro, akira is a necessary element there as well. also is goro suspecting something with those CLANG CLANG chains and cards? is he tying them to specific people in his mind and will he (mistakenly) tie the fool to akira?

um also i love love love what you do with the text formatting in those BREAKETH THY CHAINS sequences, it's very cool! and when you change the text in there a little bit, like turning "chains of captivity" into "captive" and then evolving it into "you are held captive" like woah...... foreshadowing!!

then the entire sequence of goro trying to understand why does he hate akira so much. lmao omg "he's so annoying and his smile is not ugly at all and also his lashes are soooo long. god what a fucking dick" goro babe please skdjeindosndj im very curious as to who will be the first to understand and acknowledge their feelings to the other. goro or akira akira or goro. goro is emotionally constipated akira is babygirl murderer place your bets

and then!!! goro immediately becoming suspicious bc of akira's slip up. it's going to bite everyone in the ass of course we know that but i can just FEEL how narratively satisfying it will be when everyone will write goro's suspicions off, like "nah goro's just got a hateboner for him" like ahhhh goro you're so correct but your actions and biases have led you here the cliff of your own doing

and then sojiro scene. the entirety of it. goro scrambling to fall back on some tried and true approach except sojiro's having none of that because HE. GENUINELY. CARES. poor monamona that whole breakdown and crying must've been so awkward for him

thank you again!!! ill keep saying it every time haha sorry this got so long im just. loving your work so much. truly a labor of love <33 hope you have a good day!!

before i say anything else, tumblr user nugylienshyd your asks are probably the very highlight of my days. i get SO giddy whenever i see your username pop up. im sorry i coudln't get to you until just now it's been such a day but (cracks knuckles)

GORO UTILIZING GAP MOE WAS SUCH A THROWAWAY LINE I WONT LIE HSKGLSD i was trying to figure out how to have him explain the difference between Pleasant Boy and Aspiring Axe Murderer and then i went wait. there's a term for this. gap moe. goro imitating ryuji also made me ugly laugh as all hell when the idea popped up into my mind because he would do that, wouldn't he.

AKIRAAAAA i'm glad you noticed the formatting ehe <3 ive said this before and i'll say it again, people need to utilize formatting more in fics!!! just because you're using words to create art doesn't mean you can't add a visual aspect to it as well!!! THE FOOL coinciding with akira's sudden appearance will forever be high point for my pride. i'm super happy with it. i'm glad you liked it too <3 (also your point about the phantom thieves somehow being incomplete and then akira appearing right when the bond formed is a neat one. i didn't mean to make it that way but damn thats an idea [writes down])

goro being a hater is another thing people need to use more often. listen its cute when he's like "akira :) responded to my date request hehe ok time to go to kichijoji" but its CUTER when he goes "look at this pathetic loser. he agreed to go on a date with me after Just One Text. this troglodyte. this buffoon" (asked him out in the first place)

and about goro immediately noticing akira's slip up!!!! of course he would. his entire thing is being Clever after all <3 iv ealso mentioned this in the past but i always found it so weird that ryuji and ann somehow picked up on pancakes so quickly? like these two are canonically the dumb blondes of the group..... and ur telling me... that they not only paid enough attention to morgana/akechi's words (ryuji SPECIFICALLY, who doesn't even like the two all that much at that point in time) to make the pancakes connection, but they ALSO remembered it enough to recall it to every new thief that joined their party??? really???????

im glad you liked the sojiro scene. it was honestly and truly such a long time coming, and they kind of... needed it? it was the only way goro could understand where sojiro was coming from, at least to me. goro's instinctive reaction to any unnatural behaviors is to lash out until the other person goes away or fights right back--both of which would be beneficial to him, at least in his perspective, because the strange threat is gone and he's back in his safe, lonely bubble. it's also why he was so taken aback when sojiro just... took it. he didn't expect him to agree. he didn't know what to do when he did.

thank you for such a well thought out ask, man <3 i did see this earlier last night, but i was in such a funk the whole day i couldn't collect my thoughts enough to respond to it properly until now. i hope your day's going well too. until next time <3

[facade]

autism analysis of ps2 horror games but MOSTLY haunting ground and some of sh2

slight nsf*w mention just scroll if you're not interested im rambling, mentions of assault but not in depth

This is really long

Psychosexual horror is a very neglected trope I think but also rightfully so for being such a squeamish subject for people. Horror themes relating to sexual encounters is like. not something everyone wants to relive or sit through in games so it's not ideal to come across it. I think about how interesting in SH2, the bubble head nurses in relevance to James are something people are crazy about 1. for their boobs 2. they are relevant to james being that theyre apart of his guilty conscience and cognition of women around him while he's unable to touch and hold mary like he absolutely Should be able to. Ahhhh dying illness pain. Theyre good people. James Wants to be a good man and is desperate to be convinced he Is one, despite silent hill holding him down and persisting the signs that he is an immoral fucked little man.

I liked that. It's guilty. Very guilty and lots of emotion, but he couldnt help it, and all he could do to combat was deny he ever did. Desperate repression and punishing yourself for carrying such awful rancid fantasies about infedelity etc etc and you're still in genuine love with your wife. Not so black and white in a situation like this

Its fun

I guess that might allude to why haunting ground is so fun for me. My favorite theme of horror in games will always be Psychological yes, but psychosexual is very fun with how much variety it can be sometimes. Sex is tied to a lot of emotions and for one person can be the best thing in the eworld and for another the worst.

Haunting ground is very themed with sex seeing as how the protagonist is being chased solely for her womb for reproduction reasons but the motivation most of the stalkers have for fiona is actually infatuation and ambition.

debilitas is innocently chasing after fiona under the impression she's alike to his expensive bisque dolls. she is the princess, she's 'pretty', with fair skin and blonde hair and blue eyes, she's slim >_> the conventional traits of what some random dude would label Pretty- she's "perfect" and clean, like the dolls debilitas carries around the castle - the first Girl he's met! (as daniella is more treated as a failure, "wench", servant, bloodied and unkind woman. she doesn't smile kindly like fiona does, nor does she give off 'innocence'. her eyes look tired, slender - she's cruel and nasty..)

he chases relentlessly after fiona, not for sexual gratification, but out of admiration and infatuation. he thinks fiona is like a doll! his most dangerous attack is picking fiona up and hugging her so tight, he cant control his strength - and therefore she's crushed under his weight. it's only until despite all his chasing that fiona decides to spare him that he realize she's not actually like. some scampering mouse lol. she showed him. mercy! and debilitas suddenly feels incredible guilt. running away, hiding in his shack - he doesn't dare come out while fiona is still roaming the castle, doesnt want to get in her way - and when you confront him, he begs for forgiveness by offering a gift - the way out of the castle!! ( at least in a "new game +" lol)

his AI difficulty is easy to maneuever, too, so i feel like that's why daniella's introudction is such a spike in difficulty and processing.

immediately, daniella pursues fiona with... um. err..

two interpretations of daniella's dinner made for fiona is that she fed fiona bits of her mother, or that daniella drugged her. the former is more popular. weakening down fiona to the point she falls unconscious, just so daniella can observe her - it's.... um.

- i feel like now that i forgot to mention the already reoccuring shots of a person watching fiona from behind, from her side - lots of lingering views on her in haunting ground, it would be best to comment on that now. it's genuine voyuerism at this point. a violation of her privacy - and this is from the start of the game, by the way.

daniella watching over fiona while she sleeps, with this context, it feels a bit. alarming! fiona is obviously freaked when she wakes up, but because daniella has disturbed her, she has a total meltdown and suddenly becomes hostile.

daniella is a very traumatized girl, no matter how you look at her. no one quite knows what she is, but either way, it's sad! her "creator" made her with the intention to make the "perfect" woman, but she cannot feel pain, or pleasure, and she can't taste food, either. she's lacking in humanity. HOWEVER, you learn that daniella has also been kidnapped at a young age. so...

...? is she a homunculus? is she a kidnapping victim who was so traumatized to the point of shutting down?

nevertheless, it comes to light that daniella is also infertile. she can't bare children (how did they... find that out.. i was really squeamish to hear about this part, very nauseating details that are subtle, but sickening when you think about it.)

Riccardo is seriously fucked for his impact on debilitas and especially Daniella + fiona. he’s not as fleshed out as the first two stalkers, but he serves his purpose. he’s controlling, violently misogynistic, and terribly cruel. kidnapping daniella at her young age, traumatizing her just for her to serve as fiona’s maid for the rest of her life — how could daniella Not resent fiona? the girl she was groomed to serve and she never consented to any of it.

riccardo will ruin the life of anyone else’s and throw it all away if it means it’ll benefit him— so it’s no surprise that when he comes across fiona, she’s nothing more than a prize or an object. he literally believes that fiona belongs to Him.

But that’s really all there is to it. It’s interesting, at least, that the person stalking Fiona throughout the game is revealed to be lorenzo— a man who swears he only intends to help Fiona and nothing more than that. but he quite literally just. has the same intentions as Riccardo

I feel personally.. that while it is probably necessary to explore every variety of infatuation and obsession — all these characters desire fiona in one way or another . Whether it be sexually, out of ambition, out of objectification or all three. it’s just that the first half, debilitas and daniella serve so much more complexity than the latter half.

i feel like that’s why, when you talk to any haunting ground fan— their favorite always happens to be one of the early stalkers, most likely daniella. she’s a fan favorite for a reason, but it’s also because she serves so much interesting potential and is such a fun character to think about— you do have people still making theories about whether she’s believed to be human or a homunculus.

I dunno. I like haunting ground a lot. My brother got this game when it came out and he adored it. he’s more of a fan of like. girl characters running away from action/intense situations in ridiculous revealing outfits (fiona’s figure is especially sexualized) but he’s some gay guy who likes playing pretty women in gta online LOL. he loooves girls in horror or action media. even if it’s sometimes for weird reasons i don’t get. he’s really funny to me. i asked him if he still had his copy, because i remember him looking on ign for walkthroughs trying to figure things out — he sold it LOL he couldn’t beat the game…

But I Remember Playing A Lot of It. As a 7 Year Old Girl

Haha

bye

[pluviophile-imagines]

Hi!! I’m not sure if this has already been brought up or discussed, but have you read the remarried empress by any chance? If not you can totally disregard!

I just wanted to gush over how usuper! Gojo’s affection and interactions with reader reminds me of Navier and Heinrey so much, it’s so freaking cute!! Can totally picture Satoru’s pout when reader doesn’t indulge him in kisses when they’re in public, kneeling in front of reader to kiss her hand in front of crowds when he greets her or has to step away for a moment (AHHHH!!!).

I reread the usuper!Gojo tag from time to time whenever I feel kind of down, so thank you for writing and sharing!! I hope you have a great day 🤍

i havent heard about the remarried empress but i talked to a friend who likes webtoons and she said id like it soooo 👀 i might check it out!!!

i rlly cant overstate how much i adore usurper!gojo fr, i genuinely will never be over him (or that reader tbh) ill always go back n write more in that universe bc theres soooo much....... and im beyond obsessed with big, powerful men who use their power to be openly n unabashedly captivated by their partners, so im always excited that everyone likes it as much as i do 🥺

[insertcoolermonikerhere]

Hi Boy... i got bored and im Extra so i decided to do ALL OF THEM!

a compliment - FUCK YOUR WRITING IS SO AMAZING???!!?? genuinely ive never seen someone who writes like you do, & even when i look at your older stuff im BLOWN AWAY by how good it is. YOU ARE A FANTASTIC WRITER AND I DONT TELL YOU THAT ENOUGH AUGH. 

a story - OKAY SO. when i was in middle school i had a sleeping problem. my mom got me some of those melatonin gummies & she just gave ne the whole bottle and cery nuch did not tell me how many to take. i only planned on taking 1 or 2, BUT THEY TASTED SOOOO GOOD.   so little middle school zane had like half the bottle. i was calling my girlfriend (at the time) and i was fighting off sleep as i took more. SOO I GO TO SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY ABSOLUTELY WIRED. i mention to my friend what happened the previous night and my teacher overhears and shes like: hey what the fuck! so i go about my day and things go Wrong when i go home. the school had told her What Happened and she wS like. huh. 

my mom: zane did you try to kill yourself

me: no the gummies tasted good

my mom: we should probably get him tested for autism

SO THATS THE STORY OF HOW ME EATING GUMMIES LEAD TO MY MOM THINKING I TRIED TO KILL MYSELF. 

why i follow you - how could i not follow the most correct dc and oercy jackson fan EVER!!!! [also because i am wauting for us to fall in love & get married & run off to norway so we can live on a goat farm :3]

a cute message - FUCK I LOVE YOU SSSOIOI MUCH. literally like the bff ever,, ITS CRAZY THAT WE'VE KNOWN EACH OTHER SO LONG!!!!AND ITS INSANE WE'VE KEPT IN TOUCH THIS LONG !!!1!1!!! youre one of my favorite people to talk to and not to be cringe but you were one of the first people i met that i felt like actually Got Me. thank u so much for sticking around... i hope you stick around for A Long Time,,heart heart kiss kiss

one thing i want to tell you - my brother said if you want his star wars comics you can rip them out of his cold dead hands

one thing i want ti kniw about uou - ??WHY SO TALL ??!!????? WHAT ARE YOU USING ALL THOSE INCHES FOR .????? 

YOURE SO SWEET AHHHH OH MY GOD i love you so much its insane holy shit. tell your brother to keep an eye over his shoulder.

ill marry you any day you just gotta COME TO AUSTRALIA FIRST. and it insane i cant believehow long weve known each and kept in like. relatively consistent contact its amazing. and while you porblay werent the first person i felt like Got Me i think youre probably one of the people who Gets Me the most and youre like super easy to talk to and yeah yeah anyway im glad we're friends and im gonna stop being sappy on main

[calllamander]

Okay I'm ready I've made up my mind , here's a little backstory no one wants to hear: my sister just got engaged and I cried for about half an hour because I was so freakin happy for her sooo I'm in such a lovely mood , maybe you can pick that up and write a little engagement thingy ? :) idc if it's drabble hcs or else , whatever works best for you sweetie 😊 also you can pick the character ...... but we both know who works always for us lmao

Thank you so muuuch and take all the time you need ! 💖

ahhhh! this is so sweet! nonnie congrats to your sister!! when I got this ask I literally started smiling so wide in my online class that everyone was really confused 😂 I hope this is alright...and plausible haha I’ve never been proposed to (hurry up Tooru smh) - sorry for the wait, this is my piece de résistance and I wanted it to be as good as it could be ❣️

Hq boys proposing

KUROO smiled at you from the passenger seat, your hand in his as usual as you drove, Tokyo fading into the patchwork fields of country. “tetsu...” you ask, laughing as the wind tangled you’re hair, “where are we going?” it seemed almost as if he had been waiting for you to ask because he suddenly looked nervous, very nervous, the kind of nervous where he accidentally blurts out chemistry pick up lines on the first date (it’s a miracle he got a second one). he looked over, emboldened by your easy enthusiasm. “do you remember when we were still in high school, and you used to call me and just say ‘get me out of here?’ ” his voice is low and serious, and impossibly gentle with emotion. you nod, and your smile gets sadder at the memory, the memory of you. “well,” he stops the car and opens up his door, hurrying round to do the same for yours, composing his thoughts as you start the walk, down the path off the road, along the river, and he feels a flush of pride as recognition illuminates your face. it’s a perfect evening, the sky is watercolour pink and orange, and the water reflects it perfectly. “we found this place by chance” he continued speaking faster from nerves, “and when we walked down this- this exact path, i knew that this was different from anything else. my whole life I have had a good life, and I had been with good people and yet I‘d just felt...” he paused, and looked you right int he eyes, before sighing out: “restless.” your mouth opens slightly and you whisper his name. “And you know when I’m with you I just feel still” he continues, starting to blink back tears. “and I love you more than I’ve ever loved anything y/n l/n, and” he got down on one knee: in front of the setting sun, and the river refracting the light. and he did look still. he looked radiant and relaxed and so so happy. and you covered your face with your hands but stopped yourself because you didn’t want to miss any of this. “and this is my moms ring” he said, “and i wish she could’ve met you but I know she would have“ his voice cracked and he looked away for a split second, swallowing hard, “would have loved you almost as much as I do.” he grinned in spite of himself and you smiled too, even through your tears. “so,” he laughed, “after all this, I guess ill just....” he laughed again, messing his hair up agitatedly, “will you marry me?”

“yes!” you laugh and run towards him, “a thousand times yes!”

OIKAWA looked himself over once more in the mirror, he’d tried hard to look like he’s trying but also casual which makes him feel kind of stupid but that paradox of appearances and feelings is just how he’s wired. casual. not I’ve-been-planning-this-for-forever-and-if-it-goes-badly-i-don’t-have-the-faintest-idea-what-I’d-do. that’s not what he wants. it needs to be a total surprise. the rings already in his breast pocket, right above his heart. the ring feels like happiness. “princess?” he spins and offers you his arm, “ready?” And when he’s sees you he blushes down neck like when its genuine, because you look beautiful in that dress, and he might be getting a little bit choked up, and ducking down to hide it. because...because it’s you, because he’s actually doing this. with you. actually. finally. “lets go then” you laugh and he laughs back with a determination usually reserved for the court. because this is everything. the drive is a short one and the night air is cold against your cheek, the streetlights make oikawa’s hair a coppery halo round his head and the wind fluffs it up in a way he gets frustrated about but you could stare at all day. “i love you ” you sigh, looking over at your boyfriend, and he blushes and stutters and tries to focus on the road. “I love you too darling” and he gives you the gentlest smile that he‘s ever shared with anyone “te amo, mi alma.” he parks and takes your hand. the observatory is empty: long closed, and your heels clack on the tiled floor. the stairs are steep, but the two of you are young and you‘re boundless because that’s what love does to people. in no time at all you step out, into the round room that forms the top floor, and gasp. there’s candles set in the corners and there’s flowers and there’s your boyfriend looking utterly ethereal, his white shirt a buttery yellow in the candle light. and you feel your heart just ache with how much you love him. he presses a button, and, as the roof starts to open up like a flower, he takes a deep breath. “when I was younger every time I felt lonely I used to think about space” sliver by sliver the roof was opening up, and you could see a glass dome, snatches of stars, pinpricks of light. torus voice was gentle, and fragile, and proud and horrifically insecure and somehow everything because it was him. “theres more out there“ He glanceable up at the sky unfolding, “than we can ever comprehend...I liked it. I liked that it was infinite. i liked that I belonged to something that was chaotic and orderly and empty and full” he swallowed hard. “and then there was you. and you were the best person I had ever met. and I thought that maybe I would have to be something else for you, because i’ve felt like that my whole life. but you - you just...made me feel like I belonged. and I didn’t need the night sky anymore because this,” the roof finally opened all the way and for one perfect moment it was just you, tooru and the universe: the heaviness of him, and the lightness too. “this is infinite.” he dropped down on one knee. “y/n l/n I love you with everything in the solar system and I will until every last star is blown out, and a thousand years more. and this isn’t horrifically corny so I’m going to just ask: will you marry me?” You let out a sob

“yes”

SAKUSA leant into your touch the way he never had for anyone else. like a warmth he never knew was missing, a tiny puzzle piece in his soul. your hand was running through his hair, occasionally creeping down to rub his back. he blushes, because irritatingly he can’t stop himself (but does he wean them to?). you‘re off guard now, relaxed, eyes closed, breathing in the night air from the roof of your apartment block. his face is in your neck and it’s all very peaceful (so peaceful it makes his heart hurt). he takes a deep breath (its now or never). “...hey y/n?” you hum, opening your eyes to show you’re listening. he struggles to think of what to say. “i love you” he settles on. you kiss his hair, “I love you too omi.” you say it like it’s obvious and he shakes his head, sitting up a little more so he can look at you. “no, I mean...I- I didn‘t know what love was. and I didn’t realise how badly I wanted it, until I met you. and I just” he exhales, momentarily turning his head up to stare into the sky. “I want to spend forever with you. that. that’s what I want. and I don’t have a ring, or a dramatic plan and maybe that’s what you would have wanted-” he’s looking down now, he knows, getting nervous, and he forces himself to get back on track. “but” He realises he should be kneeling and goes to do so in front of you. “I would be the happiest man alive if you would marry me.” and there, on a camp bed that he dragged onto the roof and covered with bedding just because you mentioned you liked the night, under the cloudy 11 o clock sky with the love of your life. you said yes.

@anonanonymousanon

[gilears]

for you my darling jamie: 3, 9, 19, 21, 22 (👀), 28, 29, and 33!! <3

THANK U MY DARLING SAV!!!!!!

3. How would you describe your writing style?

all over the place tbh!!!!!! i feel like i can very much be a writing style chameleon based on what the vibe of a piece needs, but i def gravitate to either silly goofy writing with lots of unnecessary asides (like lola fic or my reddie fake married disaster fic) OR like. insane ominous overly verbose dread hours (like o&t<3)

9. Thoughts on cliffhangers.

harrowing!!!!! what if the author never updates again???? i dont ever post chapter fics until ive finished or almost finished the entire thing for this reason, i dont want anyone to hurt the way ive been hurt

19. Share a snippet from a wip without giving any context for it.

“Ah, it’s rather smoky—Kristen, did you make cheese crackers? Is that why you—” He cuts himself off, looking genuinely touched at the idea that Kristen would go out of her way to make him his favourite snack, just the way he likes it (burnt).

She’s not sure how she feels about crushing the hopes of a man who’s had his hopes crushed so many times before, so she decides to just rip off the bandaid. “No, your kitchen’s on fire.”

Gilear’s eyes widen, and he takes one more step out of the hallway to where he can see the kitchen, the yells, “Ahhhh! My kitchen is on fire!”

“Great listening skills,” Riz mutters under his breath.

21. Can you accurately predict how long your fics are going to be? If you can, what’s your secret?

yeah for the most part i can! ive been writing fic for 8 years now (omg) so ive kinda just developed a sense for how long a particular idea will take me. i think it helps a lot that im a pretty heavy outliner, and i typically dont start writing something unless ive got most of the plot figured out

but whenever im wrong about a wc its always that i end up being way over. i have cant shut up disease and its terminal

22. What is it about watching the same two idiots falling in love over and over again?

djkglhbsdlj;ghsdfg woowwww i wonder what ship that eyes emoji is for sav!!!! tbh idk if i have a solid answer for this question! sometimes a dynamic just Grips you and youre like holy shit i have to read and think about these people interacting for the next 5-10 business days straight. when i figure it out ill let you know

28. Any writing advice that works for you and you feel like sharing?

yes! i think you should write whatever makes you happy to write because that will make you love writing more, which will make you write more, which will make you be a better writer. early 2021 i decided i wanted to write more stupid goofy shit and i had SUCH a blast writing it it made me wanna write more stupid goofy shit and i had so much fun writing stupid goofy shit i stopped caring about what would get the most hits/kudos/attention/whatever

also i think the secret to not giving a shit is having friends that are also writers. all my closest friends in fandom have been writers and when u can have people to go to who will Get and celebrate your work no matter what? game changer!!!!! opens up a whole world of possibilities like, "hey, what if i wrote this niche rarepair fic with my friend but its in second person and also the ship only has like 2 fics in their tag and also what if we wrote it in one night?" and then u have SO much doing it and dont even bother to check stats bc u already feel so fulfilled for having created it!!!! and also u and ur friend are so much closer now for it!!!

tldr put on some fun music, do a little dance, tell urself "who give a shit" and write whatever the fuck makes u happy

29. What’s the hardest thing about writing?

writing 💔

33. Give your writing a compliment.

aw this one is cute. mmmm i think im pretty good at capturing specific character voices/cadences/vocabulary in dialogue!!! 🥰

send a number for fic writer asks!

[prettyboykatsuki]

ari your deku fic was the first fic i read from your account and i just have to say…. your description and characterization is so vivid and realistic it genuinely feels like you’re experiencing the scenes in real time. you’re so talented ??? (please write a book and get that bag….)

but your detailing his exhaustion experiencing loss and writing out his anguish in losing the poor boy and his humanity !!!!! AHHHH i’m SCREAMING just thinking about it because i love it when fic writers expanding on the humanity of heroes !!!! shaking with excitement please

and lastly i love how you talk about his journey of allowing himself to be loved :( nearly shed a tear when izuku asked the reader to tell them why they loved him AHHH my heart. MY HEART. you made him so human to me and i love that. looking forward to read more of your works <3

unrelated but i luv ur url it is so seggsy omg,, i love it so much

WAAHH !!! my deku fic,, ill burst into tears lol this so.... i feel like deku is one of those characters where like? i can almost see into his brain. his character, more than other characters, is so SO vivid to me. like in a way i dont think other characters are i understand bkg too but it's different like i feel like deku and me share a brain cell. love that guy

as i get older and experience other things (my worlds view is v limited as it would be) the fic was kind of a way for me to like!! explore the emotions of loneliness. im always thinking about how people like deku have this sense of loneliness that is fundamental to who they are and especially in the commodified world of heros vs villains,, all of it breaks my heart

WAAAHHHH i want someone to love deku so kindly. i really do. i want someone to hug him and i want to see him be truly loved,, makes me so soft. THANK U FOR READING IT !!

[tomdiddlyumptious]

Can u do a Tom Holland x black reader

Where there relationship has been secret for a while and reader confronts him while there with the ffh cast at a get together and they have a huge argument in front of everyone and reader starts to think he wants to keep her a secret because of what she looks like . Ending in fluff

YES. BTW IF ANYONE ELSE HAS REQUESTS THROW THEM AT ME I NEED TO MAKE IT UP TO UU GUYS🥺

Summary: huh-

Warnings: uhhhh- a dick thomas and a faking it andddd- NOW NOW NOW NANANANA NOW YÆS- jk fluff

A/n: AYO CHILL WITH THE FOLLOWS-AHHHH I LYSMMMMMMMM-

You wanted to not care, you wanted to act like your feelings weren’t hurt- but it wasn’t true, it wasn’t fair. You sigh and laid in bed with him thinking about everything you gave to him, everything you’ve done for him.....but he can’t even take you outside? What the fuck, no really. What the actual fuck.

Your blood boiled on the inside out, just looking at him clouded your mind with all these negative thoughts. You didn’t want it to happen but you couldn’t help it, and since you refused to shed a tear your head was pounding and lips slightly chapped. Hearing his moan made you jump a bit, turning your back to him as you acted sleep. “Y/n?” He whispered, turning enough to look at you and smiled, leaning over to kiss up your arm all the way to your cheek as he took his hand to rub your waist. “Y/n wake up, I wanna make you coffee” he chuckled, biting your ear before kissing it. You opened your eyes and tried best not to laugh, just something about getting caught always made you giggle.

“Hmm?” You let out when he pressed a kiss to your lips, “I wanna make you coffee” you smacked your lips and laid back down “Thomas I’m still tired” lie, you just wanted time to yourself to think about what your gonna do. “Pleaseeeee y/nnnnn!” He shook you and you groaned “fine” he smiled and bit your revealed shoulder making you squeal and try to wiggle him away leaving him laughing at you before he stood up and walked to the kitchen.

“Soooooo” he tried to ease the sudden tension sitting at the table, looking at you drinking the coffee. “Yes?” You looked up at him, placing the mug down. “Uh, I don’t know....just wanted to speak to you ya know?” “Nah I don’t” you shook your head and he furrowed his eyebrows at the mean comment, wondering what went wrong, but he knew better to bother you or else you’d go off the chain. “Zendaya wants to see you” Tom smiled, putting his hands in his lap and rubbing them together while he looked away from you. “Really?” You asked.

It was like a child and their independent, self centering father were talking....the silence loud and the father barely even caring...or at least that’s what it looked like. “Yeah, and so does Jacob, haz, Laura and tony” he cheered up, excited to see you happy. “When?” You grinned as he chuckled, “today, we have to go for lunch” he moved his chair closer to you and pressed a kiss on your forehead before holding your hand. “I love you so much, y/n” it wasn’t the first time he said that, but when he did it sent you unplesant chills as the angel and devil on your shoulders agrued.

‘If he were to love you then he would show you off’ ‘y/n no, he might be scared to’ ‘what is there to be so fücking afraid of, listen to me’ ‘stay positive! You both are gonna get there’ ‘you’ve been dating for multiple months, it’s not even fücking dating it’s like a fling at this point, just a longggg fling-‘

You cut them both out and looked at him “I-I” you choked. “Don’t worry you don’t have to say it, I already know you do” he chuckled.

‘What a cocky bitch’ ‘he just said he loves you!’ ‘He’s laughing at you because you can’t say three simple words’ ‘he’s not pressuring you into doing anything, listen to me!’ ‘You’ve been getting negative signs every single months, it’s time to fucking move on’ ‘just give him another chance! He can change!’ ‘He won’t y/n, he wont’

You didn’t know how to stick to, your angel couldn’t fight anymore because the your devil kept pointing out the larger things and storing up the pot, you chose angel this time and decided to give him one more single chance, after that it’s done. You know your worth.

You smiled up at him and put a kiss to his lips thanking him “it’s no problem princess”

After that whole shannanagin you washed the dishes and took another nap on the couch this time, you wanted to watch Disney+. Tommy woke you up and told you to get ready so you did, just something comfy like sweats and an oversized hoodie with some uggs, he wore jeans and a sweatshirt per usual. “You ready?” He asked watching you when you looked up and nodded, he smile and held his hand out for you to take and you put it there.

‘He’s using you!’ ‘He’s being nice!’

You told your conscious to shut up mentally and then poof they left, the ride was silent and playing some random songs that you couldn’t catch while he tapped his fingers on the wheel.

Once you came in the small quiet restaurant you all sat around the table saying hi to each other, tom sat next to you on the right and on the left was the boys while the rest of the girls sat across from you. Food was ordered and you all were chatting “sooo I see that you two are hanging out a whole bunch...what’s goin on?” Zendaya said. You looked at Thomas “no we aren’t together” he laughed “she’s a friend”

That hit so deep. To deep. You only nodded your head and filled your cheeks with air, Tom looked at you with a smile, his eyes happy too. “Yeah just friends!” You agree, “right” he said after, you released the air in your cheeks and bit the side of your lip. “Cool” Zendaya smiled and looked down at her plate.

Everything was normal for everyone else except you, the small people on your shoulders appearing.

‘I told youuuuu’ ‘y/n I never thought that I could agree with him’ your angel pointed to your devil ‘but I do, whatever needs to come it has to’ the devil perked up to the words, standing and walking to your ear before whispering all the things he’s done.

As you mind cakes up your eyes flare and nostrils perk and jitter, “I have to use the bathroom” you looked at Tom and he only shrugged but noticing the look in your eye he could tell somethings wrong. You stood and walked in the bathroom, your hands shook as you sat ontop of the counter, taking time to yourself to try and calm down but that’s all that you could think about. Trying to be respectful as possible.

Tom pretended to walk inside the men’s bathroom but instead came into the woman’s, seeing you stare at your hands. “Y/n?” He tried to be gentle. “What the fuck do you want, Thomas?” You looked up at him. “What-“ “get out” “tell me what’s wrong” he stepped in and the bathroom door closed by it’s self. “what’s wrong? We aren’t dating so what does that matter? Leave me alone” “I’m not leaving you a fücking lone, you need to get your act together so you can sit down with your fucking friends” he said sternly.

“What am I? Your fucking pet? Child? No the fuck I’m not!” You stood, walking over slowly. “I’ve tried my fücking best to ignore it, to suck it up, to hide it, but you fucking enrage me SO MUCH that I can’t help it!” “Shut up y/n your being to loud” “IM BEING TO LOUD? HERE ILL BE MORE FUCKING QUIETER!” You raised your voice louder.

Everyone’s eyebrows furrowed as they could hear your screams.

As you got closer he backed up more. “Y/n please-“ “what thomas? You dont wanna let everyone know what a fucking bitch you are? The fact that you LIE TO EVERYONE about our relationship”

At this point you were so blinded you didnt notice that you were infront of everyone.

“Why do you hide me away?” You genuinely asked, and suddenlyyou were crashed by a sudden rush of anxiety. “is it because i dont look like your past exes?” He was backed up against the table as you stopped right infront him, your eyes started to water as he didnt reply.

“Y/n i-“ zendaya harrison and jacob looked at tom too, it was clear what the problem was and zendaya was getting kinda mad and was waiting for an answer.

“Thomas” you begged and he had nothing, he said.... nothing.

Tears fell down his cheek as he watched you sniffle and rub your nose, grabbing your bag and running out.

Everyone watched him in silence as he leaned back into the table “excuse me” the lady gently said, tom noticed it wasnt his table so he only walked out of the store and waited outside.

He watched as you pulled out of the car but he didnt even feel like trying to make you come back, you do need to have some time to yourself.

“Fuck” he let out, wondering why he didnt say anything nor do anything. Harrison walked outside and sat next to him.

“Why?” He asked and tom looked at him. “I dont know i just felt like- i felt like my fans were gonna hurt her” “but you did” harrison pointed at tom “you didnt even give a chance and she stuck by your side for how long?” Tom told away and as he speaked he noticed how much of a dick he was......is.

You cried in the bed while you had your things out, getting ready to pack them up as you could barely breathe choking ob your sobs.

What did i do wrong? What did i do to deserve this? Should i change?

All these things running through your head and distracting yourself from putting your stuff up.

You ened up crying your ass off, crying it longer then the months that youve both been together, its all that you could think about honestly.

So when he came home you didn’t even notice your head hurt and your eyes stung, cuddling the pillow while your clothes were on the floor.

He hated seeing you like this, it made him cry and something he couldnt suck up, so when he saw you hurt and hearing your weeps it instantly hit him and made him come over and sit on the end of the bed, uncontrollable tears falling down his cheeks while he let out matching sobs.

You sat up and saw him, your eyes drying as they filled with hatred you stood and walked but tom beat you to the door, shutting it and locking it behind you.

You pointed to the door silently asking him to let you out but he shook his head refusing to. You walked up to him and tried to take his hand to pull him out the way but instead he forced his arms around your neck to hug you.

“Get off of me!” You yelled muffled. “No” he simply said, kissing your head as tears continued falling down his cheeks. “Get off- please get off!” You tried pushing him but he wouldnt budge.

“You can hit me, push me, whatever you want but im not letting you go” he gripped tighter speaking into your hair. “Fuck you” you muttered and he replied with a ‘i know’.

You both sat in silence all day and he was still hugging you but you didnt hug back until you calmed down, sobbing into his chest. “Y/n, you’re the one i want, you’re the one i need. So im begging you please... just dont leave me” he whispered starring at wall, his fingers touching your hair and trying to sooth you.

“Im scared your gonna leave me tom” you look up at him with your chin on his chest. He looker back at you “i cant even think of it, darling” he rubbed away your tears “but why-“ “i was scared” “what is there to be so afraid of?” “My fans are terrible... at least the 12 year olds” he chuckled “im scared they wont see the same beauty i see in my eyes, id rather keep you to myself then share you with this cruel world”

He reached down and kissed your forehead. “But youve been doing it for so long and-“ you sighed “i didnt feel like it was that long, you made me feel like-like you took it away. Like i could spend forever with you and it woukd seem like it was just an hour or so”

You gave him a weak smile and he returned it, reaching to meet his lips you did, the kiss salty from the shared tears but no one was complaining, you both laid in the bed and he cuddled right behind you, while you were sleep he took a picture and posted it with the caption ‘couldnt ever ask for anything better, love you y/n’

After that he shut off his phone and returned to your side and pressed a kiss on your neck before falling asleep, safe and sound.

[mochimiyas]

reassurance

pairings: platonic!sakusa kiyoomi x reader 

warnings: angst (fluff at the end), mentions of depression (subtly?), first time writing sakusa (so my apologies since he may be ooc), lowercase intended

a/n: ahhhh sorry for being MIA for a hot minute ): been busy with work and getting this new apartment since the one im living in is absolute dog shit. this fic is based on personal experience and i just need a little reassurance today, so its entirely self-indulgent <3 enjoy! content under the cut...

sakusa kiyoomi was utterly confused and internally, freaking out at the scene unfolding right in front of his eyes.

seeing you laying in your bed listlessly with tears staining your reddened cheeks was an unruly sight to see. sakusa felt his heart clench at the sight of you trying to lift yourself up to greet him but to only fail and fall back down in your bed, curling up in a ball. he looked around the room to see clean and dirty clothes thrown astray, boxes and boxes of takeout cluttered up around your trashcan, and papers laying haphazardly around you. 

the urge to cringe and shudder in disgust at the state of your room was immense, but for you, only for you, he held back in consideration to your feelings at the moment. 

you and sakusa have been friends since childhood, meeting through komori since you got transferred to the same class as him. sakusa couldn’t understand why komori wanted him to meet you so badly and once he did, he realized why. 

your personality is what drew sakusa to you like a moth to flame. seeing your cheerful yet calm disposition contrasted to his own. people often described you two to be “yin and yang,” and that you were destined to meet each other, which the former itachiyama ace scoffs at the ludicrous idea, but nonetheless brings a small smile at the thought of it. he couldn’t imagine a life without you, and you to him. your friendship with the ace is something he wants to cherish as much as he could, and seeing you spiraling downwards slowly kills him inside. 

sakusa quietly sauntered over to you and kneeled down near your bed, nudging you with his elbow. you lifted your head to see sakusa signal his head towards your restroom, indicating that he wanted you to clean up. you sighed as you unfurled from your position and stretched, groaning as some of your joints popped. you head over to the restroom to freshen up and once he heard the shower running, sakusa immediately went to work on cleaning. 

he wanted you to know that he was there for you like you were there for him. he wanted you to feel that you weren’t alone because you always spent time with him whenever his parents and/or his older siblings were too busy to come home. you’ve always went out of your way to show sakusa that you weren’t there for his looks, nor his celebrity status from being in msby. you were there long before that, and you were there because you genuinely wanted to be his friend, and sakusa couldn’t be more than grateful for that. you never asked for anything in return and he felt it was time for him to start showing his appreciation and gratitude for you.

~

“kiyoomi-chin? where are you,” you called from the restroom. you peeked into your room after you finished showering to see that your mask-clad friend was no longer in the room, causing some confusion. ‘where did he go?’ you wondered as you slung your towel around your neck and adjusted your clothes. turning off the light, you exited the bathroom and dropped your phone in shock at the sight before you. 

there wasn’t any clothes scattered about on the floor; no crumpled papers in sight and your takeout boxes was taken care of. the musty smell from staying in bed all day was gone and the faint smell of lysol and laundry detergent wafted through the air, the scent instantly comforting you. tears pricked at the corner of your eyes and you brought a hand to muffle your sobs. you couldn’t believe sakusa would clean up for you, let alone feel comfortable enough to see you in your previous state knowing of his sanitary tendencies. throughout the years, sakusa would subtly do minor things for you whenever you needed a hand but never something like this to this degree. 

you furiously wiped your tears and made way to your living room, hoping to see him; you wanted to thank and repay him for his kindness. 

the smell of sukiyaki* hit you with full force the moment you stepped into your living room and looking to the left, you see the chiseled back of the outside hitter cleaning all of your dishes. 

“kiyoomi”

startled, he turned to see you standing at the kitchen entry way with a misty-eyed look and stepped back from the sudden force of you hugging him like your life is depending on it. sighing, he took off his gloves, gingerly wrapping his arms around your shaking form. all he could hear was the muffled mantras of “thank you,” as he brought his hand to your damp hair and gently patted your head while you cried. 

“let’s eat some sukiyaki okay? the food is getting cold”

~

after eating the hearty meal sakusa cooked, you both sat down in your living room to watch some dumb cheesy drama as you basked in each others presence. the nagging feeling in the back of your mind was still there, lingering around. your mental illness was something that’s going to stick around for a long while, but with having sakusa by your side, you felt like you can overcome your demons. 

you turned to face sakusa, ”seriously kiyoomi-chin, thank you for cleaning up after me. i should’ve done it before you came over but-”

“no buts,” sakusa interrupted,”i don’t mind cleaning up after you, but i will say.”

you waited for him to continue as he cleared his throat. suddenly he felt claustrophobic and the walls were closing in on him, but the need for you to know his appreciation was stronger.

“i know i’ve told iizuna-san this when we lost at nationals during my second year, but this also applies to you. your mental illness brings you down and makes you spiral out of control. you shut yourself away from everyone and people worry about you. in that situation, it would be common sense to help you out and be nice to you. nothing else is necessary. but when i hear your people around you talk about how ‘it sucks to see you like that,’ then i feel even sorrier for you. you don’t deserve people pitying you just because. you deserve to have people around you to help you while you’re going through hard times. i haven’t done anything in the past to truly show my support for you, and i foolishly believed that you can overcome whatever you have going on without us telling you that you can,” you snorted at his pout and he glared at you. 

he continued, “but i was wrong. i want you to know that your efforts never go unnoticed. all the time and dedication you put into your work, school, and your friends around you; i’ve seen what you’ve done for others and for yourself. there will be a time your efforts will flourish and you’ll be at a better place than you were at before. if you ever feel like this again, just know i’ll be there like you have for me.” 

sakusa finally made eye contact and saw that you were tearing up again. he wrapped his arm around you and instinctively, you laid your head on his shoulder. the warmth sakusa radiated made you lean further into his body, making you feel secure and content. 

you couldn’t help but cry at his sudden declaration. it was so unlike of sakusa to say these sorts of things to you due to his realist personality. he tends to keep to himself and only says anything that would be of any substance in a conversation he’s in. so for him to go out of his way to clean up after you, let alone verbally showing his support for you makes you felt like you have a place in this world again. 

you both sat in silence after, him languidly stroking your hair and you slowly falling into a deep slumber. before you completely fell asleep, you called for sakusa, in which he turned his head towards you. 

“thank you for the reassurance. i’m glad we’re friends.” 

your eyes fluttered shut, and sakusa chuckled at your ability to fall asleep instantly. 

“i’m glad we’re friends as well” 

[kekisu]

TOP 5 CHARAS AND 5 REASONS WHY YOU LIKE THEM GO GO GO

AHHHH OKAY OKAY. I LITERALLY LIT UP WHEN I SAW THIS IN MY INBOX YOU HAVE NOOOO IDEA THANK YOU SO MUCH ah okay. i hope its ok if i leave it to just one or two of my fav things about them though cause NFHBGDF I DONT WANT THIS TO BE MILES LONG i hope you understand!!!!!

1. LIGHT YAGAMI

now. i dont think anybodys surprised. MFKSKFMFMHNGJN honestly, though i dont care about death note much at all anymore, hes like gum stuck to my shoe and i just cannot get him off no matter what i do. i tell myself that i dont give a fuck about anything in death note until i see him on my dash and i go apeshit. hes completely changed me and how i approach analyzing complex characters. i think hes the first character that ive ever actually cared about in that sense? the sense where i look into every detail about him i mean. its really just so fun...

my absolute favorite thing about him... i really love how funny he is. this isnt to say hes a humorous guy im saying hes funny as in he makes such stupid decisions and its hilarious to see him struggle so hard constantly. the entire ending of death note is fucking insane it sends me into laughing fits every time. theres so many funny moments in death note despite it being considered a psychological horror animanga because of him being a genuine fucking idiot 24/7. hes supposed to be a genius but he truly does lack so much self awareness sometimes.

if you wanna know more of my thoughts in depth, i have an analysis of him here that you can check out :) ID LOVE FEEDBACK ON IT so if you disagree with me or have questions etc feel free to shoot an ask and ill try to answer!!!!!

2. GORO AKECHI

god... hes perfect. he and light are on the same level of favoritism for me, dont let the numbers fool you. hes hands down my absolute favorite in persona 5 and it blows my mind knowing that the majority of the fandom feels the exact opposite or are torn over him ITS ALMOST FRUSTRATING because its mostly due to the amount of misinformation/mischaracterization spread about him!!!! but no he just happens to be the best written character in that piece of shit of a game! MFDKDHNGJJ AND PERSONA FANS CANT COMPREHEND GOOD WRITING

my favorite thing about him.. i love how hes written. and i know this sounds really basic and predictable, but its the truth i just really love his growth as a character, especially in royals third semester when he gets a chance to properly shine and oh my god! did he shine! hes literally so perfect in 3rd sem

theres just something so captivating about an angry teenager who truly thinks of his life as worthless and doesnt bother making bonds with others because of it who suddenly finds himself questioning his choices of self isolation when he finally meets a group of people he can resonate with and feel seen by. a group of people who are willing to reach out and listen to him despite his past mistakes. theres just something so perfect about seeing that same angry teenager want to take his life into his own hands and strive to grow... that same angry teenager who didnt value his own life start to see meaning in things because of bonds...

i love goro so so much he makes me so emotional if it isnt obvious enough NGFHGDGBDFH I THINK ABOUT HIM A LOT. i think about him healing so much.

(btw im working on an analysis for him atm thats similar to lights so! stay tuned for that dropping when its done in like a million years NFHFBGFHDBGHF)

3. AKIRA KURUSU

DAMN 2 PERSONA 5 CHARACTERS IN A ROW

OKAY SO i know Technically akira is supposed to be a blank slate silent protagonist but let me tell you THATS SO FAR FROM WHAT HE ACTUALLY IS. IM NEVER FORGIVING ATLUS FOR TRYING TO SHOVE HIM INTO THE SILENT PROTAG BOX AND NOT LETTING HIM BE HIS OWN CHARACTER! BECAUSE HE HAS THE POTENTIAL TO BE AMAZINGGGGG ugh sorryfor caps im so fuckng mad MKDFKMGMHMGMG

it really does get on my nerves how because of atlus trying to make him a silent protag, the majority of the p5 fandom sees him as that. blank slate. nothing. when in reality he very much has a ton of spunk and id argue that hes his own character entirely if you just look a little deeper past the surface Like... its not even that hard to see personality in him. beneath the mask is literally his theme song, have you Not seen the lyrics to that? HAVE YOU NOT SEEN THE ENTIRE THEME OF THE GAME? this little dude is so traumatized and angry at those who wronged him (aka the justice system! shitty adults!) and people have the nerve to say hes the worst persona protagonist? lmfao

my favorite thing about akira is how he looks like a cat and how cocky and annoying he can be.. he is such a jokester hes the absolute dumbest. i enjoy this silly guy. *holds him under the armpits like a longcat*

4. SHIGEO KAGEYAMA

ahhh mob. he makes me do this -> :)

mp100, of course, changed my fucking life. mp100 is the reason i am the way i am and though all the characters are incredibly relatable and memorable and i cherish them so dearly, i, like most people, cherish mob the absolute most. seriously his strength really is incredible and though hes just a fictional character he is so inspiring and i wish to carry as much gentleness in my heart as he does.

im so so proud of him on his development he started off so.. i wouldnt say he was weak, but i would say that he lacked experience. he lived in his own little bubble not knowing what the world was like and throughout the story he grew to learn so much.. he learned to make such. mature decisions at such a young age. hes so so wise. hes so powerful not only because of his psychic powers but because of his compassion for others. he can befriend even the worst of people...

my favorite thing about him is his determination to become the best version of himself he can be. and also his relationship with ritsu (not me, i mean ritsu kageyama <3) i always gravitate towards siblings in fiction because im an only child and well <3 i dont experience that. so i like projecting onto them GHBFBBHFG they care so much for each other.. sniffle sniffle

5. RYO ASUKA

ok im going to be real even though im into devilman i dont have much of a reason to enjoy him this much. i just think hes hilarious and really cool and his satan form gives me gender envy. i love it when he commits random easily avoidable acts of violence for no reason at all its just because he wants to. and thats just fine. i think he can kill people and get away with it because hes ryo asuka. gay rights