#ALL the fics where james takes care of francis

[stevethehairington]

okay but i need ALL of the fics that take place during crozier getting sober. like i feel like there is SO much potential here bc it is THEE biggest turning point for him! esp with regards to fitzjames and their relationship. like fitzjames seeing crozier's choice to sober up as this huge defining moment, one that ultimately and unequivocally earns his respect (back, really, because he DID have respect for crozier at first, before he met him. and now he sees that that respect wasnt misgiven, not really). and like the way this choice is what causes the first crack in james' mask around crozier! ugh it's just DELICIOUS.

[kinktae]

bitchin’ || pt. 5 (M)

↳ PART OF MY REWIND SERIES

The 80s were a time of choices. Which perm was right for you? What color neon would you wear next? None of these choices, however, were more questionable than a certain deal you made with Jeon Jungkook.

pairing: fratboy!jungkook x reader

word count: 6k

genre: 1980s au, eventual smut, e2l

warnings: drunk sex, sober sex, fingering, handjob, sum tongue dick action, y/n has her first orgasm lol & JK getting a FAT ego about it

A/N: This fic was inspired by To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before. Thank you to @junqkook for letting me use her likeness!

OFFICIAL PLAYLIST

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10

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PART FIVE

“Man, I wish microwaveable popcorn was a thing when we were kids. Remember what a pain it was to make popcorn over the stove?”

You and Jungkook were sat up against the side of his bed, a bag of popcorn in between you.

“I once set an entire pot of kernels on fire when I was ten. The whole stovetop just whooshed into flames.”

You nodded at Jungkook’s words, “You know, that really doesn’t surprise me.”

“Yeah?” Jungkook laughed.

“I always figured you were a chaotic child,” You mused, taking a swig from the bottle of vodka, “my question is… why were you allowed to use the stovetop unsupervised at ten years old? Where were your parents?”

“Lawyer parents, remember? I did whatever the hell I wanted.”

You frowned, “Well, what happened? Did you burn the house down?”

Jungkook took this moment to grab the bottle from you, taking a sip of his own.

“Hmm? Oh no, the maid just put it out, and I went upstairs to play Atari or something.” He shrugged. You rolled your eyes.

“You rich kids are annoying.”

Jungkook merely flashed you a smile, popping a kernel into his mouth as he chewed it languidly.

“Did you know that Francis Crick and James Watson didn’t actually discover the double helix shape of DNA?” You brought up suddenly, eyes wide.

“What?” Was all Jungkook could reply, too drunk to understand the sudden turn the conversation had taken.

“Yeah! They actually based their findings on a colleague's. Rosalind Franklin. Her images are what revealed DNA to be in the shape of a helix.”

Jungkook’s said nothing, his eyes quietly resting on you, clearly intoxicated.

You quirked up an eyebrow, “What?”

“Nothing you’re just… so lame.” He observed.

“Hey!”

“No, no, no. Lame but, like, in a cool way.”

“Was that meant to be a compliment? Because I’m still offended.” You deadpanned.

“Isn’t it interesting that even when drunk you’re still a nerd? Like does your brain ever shut off?” Jungkook continued, eyebrows furrowing as if your intelligence was indeed some unsolved mystery.

“Are you even listening to me, meathead? Rosalind Franklin discovered DNA’s shape yet those two dinguses got all the credit! How the hell is that fair?”

“Woahhhh… that’s kinda bunk.” Jungkook’s eyes went round.

“Totally bunk!” You emphasized, throwing your hands up in disbelief.

For a moment, silence fell over the two, soaking in the injustice of it all.

Jungkook was the first to break the silence.

“Tell me about the best sex you’ve ever had.”

Your eyes flickered over to him, equal parts confused and surprised at where he had chosen to take the conversation.

Then again… this was Jungkook you were talking about.

“Mine was the night after prom in my car outside my date’s house.”

You hardly paid Jungkook’s confession any mind, too in your head to even absorb any additional information.

“Well, I’ve only ever been with Erik…” You explained vaguely, still trying to sort through all your sexual encounters with your ex.

“Okay, then what was the best sex you guys ever had?”

Tilting your head to the side, you furrowed your eyebrows.

It wasn’t like sex with Erik was terrible. You loved him and loved that you got to be intimate with him in that way. But as far as which time was the best… well, you supposed they were all pretty much the same.

“Maybe the night of my 18th birthday? It was the closest I ever came to–” You cut yourself off, your words falling from you before you could think about what it was you were about to reveal to Jungkook.

Jungkook's head cocked to the side, causing his hair to shift.

"Closest you came to what?"

“To, uh… an orgasm?” You admitted, a shy smile on your face.

“You’ve never orgasmed during sex?!”

Your hands flew out to cover Jungkook's gaping mouth, giggles filling the room.

“I mean… no, not really.”

“Not really?!” He let out a breath of disbelief.

"It's not like either of us knew what we were doing. We were each other's first time." You shrugged.

This answer didn't see to satiate him, however, as he shook his head, “Y/N, you really are missing out. You should make sure your next partners are better.”

“Well, it’s not like I’ve just got a pool of people interested in me to pick from.”

The messy-haired boy scrunched up his nose, flashing you a look as if he was questioning your IQ.

“Of course, you do! Listen. Believe me when I say some guys dig that whole subtle yet sexy nerd thing you got going on.”

“Uh, thanks. I think?” You replied stiffly, staring down at the bag of popcorn that was growing increasingly empty. Was that Jungkook's doing or yours?

Your drunken curiosity was sated the second a handful of popcorn found your fake boyfriend's mouth.

“What about you?”

Jungkook paused at your words, turning to you in muddled confusion.

“Have I orgasmed during sex?” He frowned, mouth full of the buttery snack.

“No, you dickwad." You snickered, grabbing the bottle from his side, twisting back on the cap. "Are you into nerdy girls? Or do you only like girls who only like you once they think you've lost interest in them?”

It was a dig at Kiri, you knew it was, but quite frankly you had just enough alcohol in your system to not care. As far as your interaction with her went, she was not a nice person enough for you to even consider feeling bad.

“Is this your way of asking if I’d fuck you? Because the answer is a hard yes.”

You let out a laugh, lightly shoving Jungkook’s shoulder, ignoring how his breezy comment had made your stomach flip.

“I’m serious. I’m curious as to what kind of people you’re attracted to.”

“Honestly, I can't remember the last time I genuinely liked someone. I mean, I know when my dick likes someone but…”

Jungkook could see the confusion cross your face.

“Wait, what about Kiri? Don’t you like her?”

“What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, of course.” He shook his head as if to refocus his thoughts.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I really don't understand why you want to get back with her so badly. She left you for your fraternity brother. I don't think your relationship is very healthy— for either of you." You confessed.

You had been thinking about this ever since the first day you met Jungkook; it was only just now that you had gotten the chance to tell him.

“There's a lot of history between us, Y/N. She's my best friend... or at least she was. I don't know. Things are different now, but it's hard just to call it quits after all this time."

For a split second, you wanted to ask if he even still loved her, but realizing it really didn't matter, you held your tongue.

"You guys look good together." You said instead. "She's hot, you're hot. You're both in Greek life..."

Had he been sober, Jungkook would have undoubtedly commented on the fact that you had called him hot, but instead, he just drunkenly nodded, murmuring a small word of agreement.

"Tell me about Erik." Jungkook spoke finally after the two of you fell silent.

You let your head fall back, resting against the bed.

"What about him?"

"Everything. How did you guys start dating? What was he like? Why did you guys break up?"

You let out a hum, bringing your knees to your chest.

"We were both in the biotech academy, although he went to a neighboring high school. We met at a chemistry competition, actually." You began, wrapping your arms around your shins.

"Ah, yes, the beginning to every dorky love story." Jungkook nodded, coaxing a soft chuckle from you.

"Yeah. You could say we looked good together too."

Jungkook shifted, bringing an arm up to place on the bed as he leaned into his side to get a better look at you.

"He was kind of perfect, you know. Charming, good looking, smart... like, really smart. The kind of smart that inspired me to work harder because, well, I really wanted to be a girlfriend he could be proud of."

It was strange to hear you talk like this. As far as Jungkook knew, everything you did was for yourself. Not in a selfish way but in a way that was empowering and self-governing; he couldn't really couldn't imagine you living any other way.

“So then why did you break up?” Jungkook asked, eating some more popcorn. "I mean, other than his inability to bring you to climax."

"He asked me to marry him."

Jungkook paused mid-chew.

"Woah, right after high school? That's crazy!"

You gave him a soft smile, "Actually, I said yes."

Jungkook’s mind was whirling. You had agreed to marry your high school sweetheart? The idea wasn’t super far fetched, certainly not in the town where the two of you were from, but it certainly didn’t feel like something you’d ever do.

You watched expectantly as Jungkook’s gaze fell onto your left hand’s ring finger. It was free of any kind of jewelry, however.

"Erik was a wonderful boyfriend. He used to shower me with compliments; said I was beautiful, funny, and all he could ever want, but, you know, he never once called me smart.”

You straightened up, waving a hand in front of you as you began to clarify what you meant.

“Obviously, I don’t need to be reminded that I’m smart. I’m confident in myself and my abilities. But it’s true, he never acknowledged any of my achievements.”

Jungkook’s expression softened. You had said it matter-of-factly, but he could imagine how hard that must have been for the person you loved not to take the time to recognize how hard you worked.

“At first I didn’t really mind all the sly comments and disinterested replies– if anything, it just propelled me to work harder; I just wanted to impress him. It didn’t matter in the end though. Because no matter how many extracurriculars I joined or how many tests I aced, it was never enough to interest him.”

“But he was so charming and otherwise a good boyfriend so I never really said anything. I loved him. So, I said yes.”

“But… you didn’t marry him.” Jungkook added. You nodded through a sigh.

"It was the day after he proposed, I had just found out I was granted my scholarship that would take me to college here, but instead of celebrating with me, he got upset. He didn’t understand why I was so insistent on going to college when he was going to become some bigshot doctor that make enough for both of us. He said he would take care of everything.” You recalled. "And I know that's all some people want to hear– that they'll be taken care of. But..."

"But not you." Jungkook said.

"I want to be able to take care of me. I want to be able to wake up every day and do something I love... and I want the person I love to be excited about that, too. To encourage me to follow my dreams. And as much as I loved Erik, I wasn’t willing to let all my hard work amount to nothing. I had something to prove to every teacher that doubted me, to my dad– to myself.”

Jungkook wished he could articulate all the thoughts that were running his head. He would tell you that he understood that you made the right decision. He wanted to say that Erik was an asshole for ever making you feel like you weren’t enough. But Jungkook was drunk and his heart was pounding too loud as he watched the way your breathing grew heavier, clearly somewhat emotional.

“Erik needed someone to depend on him, to sit at home and listen to his day, all while being smart enough to hold a conversation as long as it was about him and his achievements. Once I came to terms with that, I gave back the ring." You revealed.

Jungkook ran his tongue over his bottom lip, the surface dried out from the popcorn’s salt.

"How did that go?”

“Actually, surprisingly well.” You mused. “Don’t get me wrong, we were totally crying like idiots — we were each other’s first love after all — but he admitted that he was surprised I said yes in the first place. I think he really hoped I’d be the kind of wife he wanted, but, deep down, he knew that I just wasn’t that girl.”

“I think you were wrong about him.”

Turning your head over to the frat boy, you furrowed your brows together, “Huh?”

“You said he was some super-smart genius, right? I think you’re wrong. Only a moron would ask a girl like you to shrink yourself just so he could feel big.” Jungkook glowered.

You said nothing, bringing your chin to rest on top one of your knees as you stared at the suddenly angry boy beside you.

“If anything, Erik couldn’t cope with the fact that you were probably smarter than him. I know my man ego is frail, but god damn his was paper-thin. You’re formidable, Y/N. Completely and utterly capable of anything you set your mind to and anyone who gets scared off by that isn’t worth your fucking time.”

“Jungkook…” You muttered, a strange feeling in your stomach fluttering.

“I’m serious, nerd. You’re like… um… the sun!” Jungkook marveled, eyes growing full as the realization dawned on him.

“The sun?” You laughed.

“Yeah, like… you’re this bright, beautiful thing that seems like it’s here in front of me but is really light-years away.”

Jungkook was drunk, and although you were sure he was making more sense in his head, you couldn’t help but feel your face grow hot, unsure of how to react to his drunk analogy.

“You’re the sun, Y/N. You make the world turn for you. Never orbit for anyone else.”

And suddenly, you were kissing him, for no other reason other than you wanted to and that it felt like the right thing to do.

His hands found your waist, ushering you onto his lap so that he could kiss you easier, wasting no time in reciprocating. Gripping your thighs, he left out a sigh as your mouth found his neck.

“What are you doing, silly girl?” He cooed, causing your insides to squirm.

“Guess I’m also a frisky drunk.” You muttered into his neck, letting your tongue run against it.

“Yeah?” Jungkook hummed, letting his eyes fall shut.

“Well, I have drunkenly kissed Yara more times than I probably should.” You admitted, pulling away from him.

“And here I thought I was special. You’re a heartbreaker, Y/N.” Jungkook let out a dramatic scoff, hand slapping against the side of your thigh ever so lightly.

He was expecting a witty comment in response, or at least a drunken giggle. What he wasn’t expecting was the way you’re eyes were fixated on his revealed torso, a shy but unmistakably wanton expression on your face.

“What is it?”

Your eyes flashed back up to his in surprise.

“Tell me. If there’s something you want, you have to tell me so I can give it to you.”

“W-What?” You stammered.

“You’ve been ogling me ever since I walked into your dorm.” He continued coolly. “You don’t have to pretend like you’re indifferent towards me, because I know you’re not.”

He sat up suddenly, causing your ears to heat up as his face suddenly neared yours.

“So, if you want something, tell me.” He muttered lowly, one of his hands grabbing yours as he pressed it against his torso.

Biting your lip, you let your fingers run against the firm surface of his abs before, to both your and Jungkook’s surprise, your hand found the crotch of your fake lover’s sweats.

A sharp breath came tumbling from Jungkook’s lips as you began to palm over his already semi-hard cock. For a moment, Jungkook wondered if he had drunk himself stupid and that this was just an inebriated hallucination. The feeling of your mouth finding his collarbones told him very quickly that he was, in fact, still awake.

“This what you need, hm? Need my cock?”

You let your teeth nip at Jungkook’s hot skin, protesting against his mocking words. Your actions did nothing to deter the boy, however, as a low moan fell from him.

You could feel the way he had stiffened under your hand’s ministrations, thrilling the most primal part of you.

Fingering the waistband of his sweats, you let out a heavy breath, “This is wrong.”

This was extremely wrong. You should not be seconds away from taking the dick of your pretend boyfriend into your hand, especially when he was planning on going back to his ex. Speaking of which, Kiri was probably still somewhere downstairs.

“Morality sucks.”

You pulled away from Jungkook’s neck with eyes wide. He had a cocky smirk on his face, undoubtedly smug at the way he had quoted Glen Lantz just now. It was the kind of expression that any other occasion would summon a scoff from you but given the circumstances, you couldn’t help but return it back to him.

“Get on the bed. Lay down for me.” Jungkook ordered, causing your stomach to do a flip.

You gave him a timid nod before moving up from his lap.

You had hardly had your back on the bed before his mouth found yours, newfound desperation in his movements. You struggled to keep up with the kiss, too consumed in the feeling of his warm palm making it down the fabric of your sweater, running under it as he searched for the button of your pants.

With his tongue against your neck, his hand found slipped between your thighs, pressing against the wet patch of your underwear. You flinched, it had been so long since someone else had touched you like this.

“You okay?” He asked suddenly, pulling away from your neck. He wanted to make sure it was okay to touch you like this.

“Yeah. Just been a while.” You confessed, face hot.

And just like that, his touch lightened, trailing up and down your clothed slit carefully. It was meant to be gentle but his feather-like touch caused your hips to jerk, the feeling trying you crazy. You could hardly stay still as he began to kiss you, fingers slowly quickening in speed.

You tugged at his hair, knowing now the way he liked it and you preen with pride as it made him rut against your thigh.

Whining as he suddenly sank two fingers into you, Jungkook broke the kiss, moving to sit upon his knees to get a better look at you as he began to fuck into you.

You were certainly a sight to see, eyes struggling to stay open as you lost yourself to the feeling, small cries escaping you as he rolled over your clit. His free hand was gripping your thigh, enjoying the way it was shaking under his touch.

As much as you wanted to maintain yourself, your hips had a mind of their own, rolling up to meet every thrust, desperate for his touch. Jungkook’s eyes never left you and it wasn’t long before it became too much.

“Jungkook... stop staring at me.” You whined, finally.

“Sorry, you’re just so sensitive. I like watching your reactions.” Jungkook admitted lowly, chuckling as you moaned in response to a particularly hard thrust.

Heat rocketed up to your neck, forcing you to look away.

“S-Shut up, I hate you.”

“Considering how wet you are for me, I have a hard time believing that, baby.”

“Dammit, just fuck me already.” You begged.

As much as the thought of coming undone on his fingers appealed to you, you would be damned if you left this party without his dick going inside of you. You didn’t know if you’d ever get another chance like this one and the alcohol in your system would be the perfect excuse for doing this in the first place.

Jungkook felt his balls tightened, the idea alone exciting him.

“Well, since you asked so nicely.” He teased dryly, moving back in between your legs, hand gripping the edge of his shirt to pull it over his head.

“Wait!” You cried out before you could stop yourself, immediately wishing you could take back the exclamation.

“What? What’s wrong?” Jungkook worried, eyes growing wide in concern.

“N-No, leave it on.”

Dammit, dammit!

It slipped out of your mouth before you had the chance to stop yourself.

You had a massive crush on Johnny Depp, so the second Jungkook pulled up to your dorm dressed as Glenn Lantz you knew you were done for. The idea of Glenn Lantz fucking you had you embarrassingly excited and now Jungkook knew that.

You were expecting Jungkook to laugh or make some slick comment that would inevitably convince you out of letting him put his dick inside you, but to your surprise, he merely smirked, first wrapping around his cock as he lead himself to your wet entrance.

Your fingers dug into his shoulders as he sunk into you, the stretch stealing a breath from you. Shutting your eyes, you felt as he finally bottomed out; it had been so long since you had felt this full and you almost forgot the feeling.

Jungkook cursed into your neck, kissing the skin there to calm himself down. You felt so good wrapped around him but the last thing he needed was him cumming early and you thinking he was a one pump chump.

Your soft whines and the way your hips were moving into his was his sign to start moving, clearly adjusted to him inside you.

You should have expected that Jungkook would be good at his, but the way he instantly found the right pace and angle caught you off guard, robbing you of a moan.

“Fuck.”

You sounded so pretty like this and Jungkook’s chest swelled at the thought that your sounds were for him.

“Fuck, you feel so good. So tight and wet for me.” He grunted.

Gripping the back of his neck, you brought Jungkook into a kiss, missing the way his tongue tasted against yours. The kiss didn’t last for long as an unfamiliar feeling formed inside you, causing you to shut your eyes close.

Jungkook hardly noticed, his cock was pounding in you as he chased after the way you cried out his name.

“Jungkook– ah!” You lost footing of your voice, momentarily distracted by a particularly hard thrust.

“Ah, fuck. W-Wait, stop.”

Jungkook froze at your words, licking at his lips as he pulled away from your neck, stilling his hips.

“Are you okay?” Jungkook asked, eyes running over you to see if he had somehow hurt you. Your breathing was labored and you were biting down onto your bottom lip, hair fanned out on either side and if Jungkook weren’t so concerned, he would’ve taken a moment to admire just how beautiful you were like this.

“Y-Yes, I’m… I just...” You breathed, hips jerking up into Jungkook’s.

The action didn’t go unnoticed by him, of course, and it wasn’t until he realized just how tightly you were wrapped around his cock that he understood exactly what was wrong.

“Do you need to cum?”

The question alone elicited a whimper from you and within a second, Jungkook’s thumb found your clit.

A high pitch moan left your swollen lips and Jungkook took that as his cue to rock back into you.

“You’re just so wound up, huh? Wanna come all over my cock, is that right?” Jungkook was at your neck now, tasting the salt on your skin as he whispered filth into it.

“Jungkook— fuck!” You moaned, eyes fluttering shut.

“I’m making a mess of little pussy of yours, aren’t I? No wonder you’re so desperate to cum. You need it so bad, don’t you?”

“Y-Yes.” Was your weak reply, your heavy breaths nearly swallowing up your answer entirely.

“You’re okay, ah, I’ve got you, baby. I’ll take care of you. Just relax and think about how nice my cock is stretching you out.” Jungkook grunted, his own orgasm starting to catch up with him.

A broken came tumbling out at the sheer intensity of stimulation, especially as Jungkook grabbed on of your thighs and pushed it up to your chest, allowing for a deeper angle.

“Doin’ so good. So good for me.” He rasped out, so close to cumming.

It was Jungkook’s words of praise that finally sent you over the edge, back arching against the bed as white spots filled your vision. You could only vaguely make out the feeling of Jungkook pulling out of you to release his own climax onto your stomach, pulling up your sweater just in time to save it from the ungodly cum stains.

You flopped back onto the bed with a huff, eyes wide and still shaking from the aftershocks. Jungkook was rubbing at your thighs encouragingly, watching the way you slowly came down from your orgasm.

For a moment neither of you said a word, pants and heavy breathing filling the air instead.

“Holy shit.” You finally broke the silence.

That was what you had been missing out on all these years?! You felt robbed.

“Hey... Just curious but was that your first orgasm like ever?” Jungkook asked innocently. Your reaction was just so earnest and innocent and although he knew your ex never made you cum, he wondered if even by your hand you had never climaxed before.

You met his eyes briefly before turning your head to the side, clearly embarrassed.

“...Yes.”

“Really? So when you touch yourself, you don’t–”

“I already said yes, didn’t I?” You snapped, bottom lip jutting out slightly. Jungkook didn’t care much for your tone, but given the circumstances, he let it slide.

“Why didn’t you tell me? I would’ve taken my time– eaten you out until you came or something.”

“I didn’t think it mattered.” You answered vaguely, wishing more than anything for the topic of conversation to shift.

To your surprise, Jungkook’s hand found your jaw, forcing your eyes to meet his.

“Can I kiss you?”

He didn’t know why he felt the sudden urge to but he just knew he wanted to.

His request came as a surprise to, considering the two of you had just done a fair bit more than just kissing. You nodded automatically, humming in content as his mouth found yours for a kiss that was far less rushed than previous ones.

The two of you exchanged the gesture of affection lazily, Jungkook’s fingertips brushing against your waist as your breathing slowed.

“I'm sure you don’t wanna hear this but knowing I’m the only person who has ever made you cum has inflated my ego like you wouldn’t believe.” Jungkook confessed as he broke the kiss, causing you to scoff.

“Right, because I’m the reason your ego is the larger than our fucking solar system.”

Jungkook’s expression fell flat, eyes turning cold as you began to giggle.

“Bite me, nerd.” He glared despite the way the sides of his mouth turned up at the sound of your laughter, moving to kiss you once more.

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“So...” Yara began, hands clasped together in front of her. “How was the party?”

Yara, Jungkook and you were sat at the library, where the three of you had planned to meet after the party to catch up on some work.

What was unexpected, however, as the way the two of you had taken a seat across from Yara with guilty expressions and far more hickeys than she had recalled counting on either of you.

The moment you averted your eyes as she faced you, she knew you were keeping something from her and she already was playing out a couple of scenarios that might have gone down at the party.

“Good.” Jungkook answered uneasily. Yara hummed, locking her eyes onto the squirming boy.

You had known Yara for a long time and had become somewhat immune to her intimidating ways, but Jungkook had only known Yara for a month or so. Hardly enough time to build up immunity.

She suppressed a smirk. Target acquired.

“That’s good.” Yara said, glare unmoving.

If Yara really were the supernatural creature you sometimes insisted she was, she would’ve heard the way Jungkook’s pulse quickened, fists under the table clenching and unclenching as he fought the urge to flee.

Jungkook felt his stomach churn as she quirked up an eyebrow at him, mouth pressed into a straight line.

“Y/N and I had sex—”

“Jungkook!” You turned to him in disbelief.

“Holy shit!”

Jungkook’s face scrunched up in regret, sinking back into his chair as your best friend’s jaw dropped.

“We agreed we weren’t gonna tell her.” You pouted.

“Shit, I know, I’m sorry but did you see the way she was looking at me?!” He cried, a finger coming up to point at the petite girl sitting across the table. “That stare isn’t human.”

“I can’t believe this! You guys did the nasty and weren’t gonna tell me?” Yara gaped.

You flinched, glancing around to see if you were disturbing any neighboring students. “I was gonna tell you… eventually.”

“It’s like she was in my head. Like she could see inside me– all my thoughts, my secrets, my innermost feelings...” Jungkook muttered, hands coming up to press against his temples.

Yara continued on, ignoring the traumatized boy. “I’m hurt, Y/N. Not as a manager, but as your best friend. That is totally not something we would ever keep from each other.”

“I was afraid that when I told you, you were gonna think this changed things!” You urged.

You really had planned on telling Yara, you just didn’t want to do it with Jungkook in the room. Yara already seemed to have this preconceived notion that you were trying to actually date Jungkook and the last thing you needed was that idea confusing him.

“Well, does it?” Yara pressed.

Jungkook’s eyes flickered over to you suddenly, equally as curious as Yara to hear your response.

“...No. No, of course not.” You shook your head.

“Kiri’s definitely pissed.” Jungkook cleared his throat, eager to change the subject. “Y/N put on quite the performance last night.”

The sides of Yara’s mouth curled up wolfishly.

“Oh, I bet she did.” She mused suggestively causing you to blush.

“Not like that, you nympho.”

“Did you guys talk to her?” Yara inquired, ignoring you.

You nodded.

“Is she the worst? Do we hate her?” Yara squinted, leaning in close as she directed your words only at you.

A nervous giggle left you, sparing Jungkook a cautious glance. She was his ex-girlfriend, after all...

“Uh, she’s… I mean, you know, I’m the girl who is dating her ex so...”

“I see.” Yara picked up on your hesitancy to speak ill of Kiri as she sent you a slow nod, immediately understanding what you were trying to say.

Kiri sucked.

Jungkook was sat in his chair, eyebrows slightly furrowed as he watched the girls’ interaction, as if something was being said that he couldn’t quite hear.

“Also... She’s, uh, currently dating Eunwoo.” You told Yara.

Your best friend blinked, silence falling over her.

“Yara?”

“Good for her.” She perked up almost forcibly. “Let her put up with his annoying ass.”

Yara could see the way your expression had turned dubious as if you didn’t believe her nonchalant act.

Yara turned up her nose defensively, “What?”

“No, nothing. I was just expecting more of a reaction is all.” You waved your hands dismissively.

“Pshh, I don’t care where Eunwoo is getting his dick wet.”

“Are you sure–”

“Let’s do some homework, yeah?” Yara cut you off with a tight smile that you didn’t fail to miss.

You watched as your best friend reached for her textbook and threw it open, hardly paying you any further mind. Looking over to Jungkook, you found him already turned your way, his face twisted in mild concern.

It wasn’t something you had ever brought up with Jungkook – or Yara for that matter – but you always had a sneaking suspicion that Yara cared more about Eunwoo than she let on. As much as she insisted that Eunwoo’s feelings had scared her off, a part of you wondered if Yara’s own feelings didn’t have a role in that fear as well.

Offering Jungkook a shrug, you too turned back to your work laid out on the table in front of you.

A few minutes passed through; you were rewriting your notes when you experimentally spared Yara a glance, only to see a deep furrow on her face. Something was clearly bothering her.

“Yara?”

The girl in question slammed her pencil down, opening her mouth immediately, “Not that I give a rat’s ass about Eunwoo – because I don’t – but I can’t believe he’s dating someone already.”

“How long were you guys together?” Jungkook wondered.

“Like three months.” Yara told him through a frown.

Jungkook hummed, “Well, when did you guys break up?”

“A week after school started.”

“Maybe he’s just trying to move on?” He offered, unsure of how to comfort her.

Taking in your best friend’s sour expression, you bit down on your lip.

“Yara, are you... jealous?” You assumed.

Immediately, Yara’s eyes found yours, green eyes growing wide.

“Jealous? Hah! My cold, dead heart doesn’t know jealous. What I know is that Eunwoo is a fucking idiot.” She scoffed. “This is the kid who called me every day for two weeks after we broke up professing his love for me. How is he just suddenly over me and dating someone else? That someone being Jungkook’s bitchy ass ex?”

Yara glanced over to Jungkook as if an afterthought, “No offense, jockstrap.”

“You did not just call me jockstrap.” Jungkook deadpanned.

“Hey now, Kiri’s not a bitch, I never said that.” You defended weakly. Yara flashed you a look. She had known you for too long not to be able to read in between your words.

“You really are such a class act, Y/N. Truly admirable. However, you should know that if she throws even one snarky comment my way, I’m knocking her teeth in.”

“Yara!”

“I’m serious. It’ll be lights out for Miss Kiri.” Yara insisted, intertwining her fingers and stretching them out in front of her. A laugh escaped you against your better judgment.

“In that case, remind me not to let you out of my sight if she comes to Y/N’s event.” Jungkook laughed nervously, unsure of just how serious the small but frightening girl was being.

Yara’s looked over to you with wide eyes.

“So, does that mean...?”

You perked up in your seat. You nearly had forgotten.

“Oh, yeah! It’s happening! I’m throwing my event!” You announced excitedly.

“Holy shit, finally! That’s amazing, Y/N, congrats!”

“Well, it’s not set in stone yet–”

“Nah, Tae’s true to his word. If he says he’ll help, then you can count on him.” Jungkook reassured.

“Who’s Tae?” Yara cocked her head.

“My frat brother and head of Beta Tau Sigma’s finance committee. Y/N pitched her idea to him last night and he agreed to arrange funding for the event.” Jungkook went on to explain. A smile found your face as you recalled the interaction.

"This Tae guy sounds bitchin’.” Yara approved with a nod.

“Yeah, he really is like a brother to me.” Jungkook smiled.

Suddenly, you wondered if Taehyung was who Jungkook went to for advice. Was Taehyung his Yara? You really never gave much thought on who Jungkook’s friends were but, strangely enough, the idea of meeting them intrigued you. Especially if they were all as lovely as Tae.

You watched in silence as Jungkook and Yara continued on with their conversation, a warm feeling falling over you at the sight of them getting along and enjoying each other’s company. Even if Jungkook was just your fake boyfriend, the thought that he and your best friend and could be friends made you happy. Maybe foolishly so but happy nonetheless. Selfishly, you began to wonder if there was any way the two of you could stay like this after he got back with Kiri.

“I dunno, jockstrap. I just think The Shining is boring.” Yara shrugged.

The subject had somehow shifted in the time you had been spacing out, falling victim to your thoughts. Horror movies now seemed to be the topic of interest.

Jungkook shook his head defiantly.

“Okay, firstly, psychological horror is meant to be slow-paced and secondly, call me jockstrap one more time and I’ll rip up your John Cusack posters and force-feed you the scraps.”

Yara let out a cold laugh, crossing her arms over her chest, “Bold of you to assume I don’t already want John Cusack down my throat.”

A laugh came tumbling out of you, taking in Jungkook’s horrified expression, not expecting such a vulgar response.

Yeah. Maybe having Jungkook around permanently wouldn’t be so bad.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

You had made it very clear to Jungkook that the two of you having sex was a one-time thing; your copulation had been a momentary lapse of judgment fueled by the way alcohol made you both irrationally horny.

So the second Jungkook’s fingers found the skin on your thigh, you couldn’t help but stiffen.

“Meathead.” Was your warning.

“What? Your skin is soft.” He muttered, not taking his eyes off his book. “I’m not doing anything wrong…”

Your teeth found the plush of your lip as you fought the urge to press your thighs together.

You and Jungkook were sat upon your bed days after the Halloween party. Inviting him over to study had been your idea, trying to make a point to Yara that the two of you could go back to normal after sleeping with one another.

For the most part, things had been normal. Sure, maybe you could argue that Jungkook stared at you a little more than you were used to but it wasn’t anything you couldn’t just pin on the fact that that boy often spaced out. Your face just happened to be where he liked to focus on it seemed.

So when while studying his palm found the top of your thigh, you paused your reading, glancing over at the boy cautiously only to discover him, seemingly, emerged in the book of his own.

It wasn’t until his fingers suddenly began trailing up and down your thigh, rubbing circles into the supple flesh that you realized the gesture wasn’t near as innocent as you initially assumed.

“Right?” Jungkook cooed, attention suddenly on you as he trailed his fingers further down your thigh than you should have allowed.

Your ears felt hot.

As much as you wanted to push his hand away and stop his ministrations here, another part of you was replaying the way the same handheld and touched you the night of the party in your head.

You met Jungkook’s eyes; he wasn’t even bothering to suppress his smirk that cocky bastard.

A small sigh found you as his fingers discovered your inner thigh, dangerously close to where your panties were dampening underneath your pajama shorts.

“You didn’t answer me.”

“N-No, nothing wrong.” You stuttered quietly, opposite leg rising up to bend at the knee to allow Jungkook’s hand a point of entry.

God, this was way more embarrassing when you were sober. You weren’t some lust-driven sex hungry animal, you could easily resist his advances if you wanted to. But you didn’t want to. You had gone two years without having sex and you’d be lying if you didn’t think back to that night you shared with Jungkook often.

Your thoughts were interrupted, breath hitching as you felt Jungkook’s slender fingers slipping underneath your shorts.

“You’re a strange girl, Y/N. You like to pretend like I’m just apart of the contract yet here you are. Letting me touch you like this.” Jungkook hummed, fingers trailing up and down between your thighs, lightly running against your clothed core.

You let out a whimper, handing coming around to wrap itself around Jungkook’s wrist, urging him to apply more pressure.

“Impatient, aren’t we?” He mocked. You opened your mouth to reply when he found your panty clad clit, effectively silencing you.

“W-Wait, Yara’s in her room.” You hiccuped, hips jerking forward as his thumb singled out your clit, rubbing against it.

“Oh, how rude of us. Should we go knock and ask if she wants to join?” Jungkook teased, eliciting a scoff from you.

“God, you’re so–”

Your mouth shut itself closed, biting back the moan that threatened to make its way out as Jungook sank his fingers into you.

“Fuck.” Jungkook muttered, preening in the way you felt. So wet. So tight. And all for him.

His eyes moved from the sight of his hand fucking itself into you to your profile. Your eyebrows were furrowed, face scrunching up whenever he curled his fingers up into you a certain way. He could see the way the muscles in your jaw clenched and unclenched, clearly holding back some of your more lewd sounds in fear that your roommate might hear.

He’d have to do this again whenever Yara wasn’t home. He’d love to hear the way you’d whimper his name.

“That feel good?”

Jungkook was beside himself, he knew he should be keeping it down but he couldn’t help it. He wanted to hear you– the way your voice would shake and stutter deliciously.

“So good.” You whined lowly, head turning to meet his eyes.

Jungkook was definitely too good at this. He had two fingers rocking into you skillfully, slowing down only to turn his attention back onto your throbbing clit. Your shorts and underwear felt damp, slick with your arousal and you knew you’d have to change the sheets underneath you.

“Can I, ah... can I touch you?” You asked through several uneven breaths. You felt the sudden need to touch him– to make him feel as good as he was making you feel. “Please.”

“So needy for my cock, huh? Even when I’m not about to fuck you, too.” He licked his lips, hand coming over his crotch to palm at it.

“Yeah. Yeah, go ahead, baby.”

Jungkook let himself relax back against the way, cock twitching in anticipation as you clumsily reached out to take his already hard cock from his pants.

And so that’s how the two of you found yourselves, hands down each other’s pants, voices hushed as you pleasured each other in secret like a pair of desperate teenagers.

Even as you both began to shake with stimulation, your hands didn’t stop, both of you set on getting each other off.

Jungkook felt so hot and heavy in your hand; you didn’t get the chance to fully take in his fucked out expressions last time but now that you were watching the way his jaw went slack and low, drawn-out groans fell from him, you couldn’t help but think he looked so attractive this way, hips rocking up to meet his fingers as you let yourself get off to the thought that you were making him feel this good.

Jungkook was in absolute bliss.

Your chest was rising and falling lightly, your bottom lip held hostage between your teeth innocently as your hand pumped his fat cock. He knew you were trying your hardest to stay quiet but the way your eyes were watery and small mews escaped you sporadically spurred him on, letting himself be noisier than you probably would have liked.

“You’re taking my fingers so well, baby. Making such a mess of your sheets. Fucking messy girl.” Jungkook cooed between shaky breaths of his own, obviously just as close to climax as you were.

Suddenly, a cry fell from your lips and the hand Jungkook had placed around yours to help in pumping his increasingly hot shaft quickly relocated itself to cover your mouth, catching the rest of your lewd noises as you finally came around his fingers.

“Atta girl. You did so well.” Jungkook praised, your eyes wet as you rode out the last few waves of your orgasm.

You were shaking; this orgasm had hit you hard and you didn’t know if you would ever get used to this feeling. You hoped not.

Jungkook pressed a kiss against your cheek affectionately and before you could give yourself a minute to even out your breathing, you pulled away from him, repositioning yourself between his knees.

You placed a tentative lick against the glistening tip of his cock, eyes locked on his as he continued to jerk himself off. He grunted, moving his prick closer towards your face as you let the flat of your tongue run up the length of him.

“Wanna taste you. Cum on my tongue, yeah?” You purred as you pulled your lips off his tip, a small pop sounding out.

Jungkook nearly choked, swallowing the sob of a response he nearly gave you. You were so fucking beyond hot like this. He hadn’t heard you speak so outwardly filthy before and all he could think about was how your words would sound if you were choking around his cock.

“Fuck, fuck, open your mouth.”

You obliged greedily as he tightened his grip around himself, his abdomen tightened and hand stilled, a hot white strip of cum landing on your tongue. Like the good girl Jungkook groaned out you were, you stayed open-mouthed in front of him obediently until he was finished.

Jungkook let out a shaky breath, tucking himself back into his pants as you moved back to take your place beside him, wiping at your mouth.

“Well. That was fun.” You grinned shyly, suddenly giddy.

“Mm.” Jungkook agreed, thumb coming up to wipe away your cheek, where some of his cum had found itself. Your mouth opened on its own accord, tongue sticking out for Jungkook to clean his thumb with. You didn’t particularly care for the taste but you enjoyed the way his eyes turned a shade darker as he watched you swallow his cum.

"I don’t think the contract mentioned orgasms.” Jungkook smirked as you released his thumb.

“I say we let it slide.” You shrugged, leaning into him casually.

“You think?”

“Totally. Think of it as... a bonding activity.” You joked, resting your chin on his shoulder, peering up through your lashes.

“Damn, we’re really committed to this fake dating thing, huh.”

You laughed in the way that you hated, but Jungkook loved; it was loud and abrupt, but it genuine, and it was you.

“What can I say, I’m a method actor.” You sighed dramatically, causing Jungkook to grin before pressing a kiss to your nose, simply because he liked the way it always seemed to make you smile.

[restmyheadatnightcontent]

so I watched the terror and fell in love with all these stupid cold boys so I went and read all the fics I could and I fell in love with thse two. my brain wouldnt shut up until I wrote this so here we go. it was meant to be a short little but but ended up as almost 2k of domestic joplittle fluff

_

Edward sighs as he wakes again to find the space beside him empty. He wouldn’t mind if it wasn’t the fifth time this week that it has happened. He sighs and pulls the jumper that has taken permanent residence on the floor next to the bed. He isn’t sure if it is his, or Thomas’, but right now he is too tired to care.

When Tom first moved in, their clothes were organised and separate from each other, but now, like every other aspect of their lives, they are mixed and tangled in together. There have been many days where he has rushed to work and grabbed a shirt blindly from the wardrobe only to reach the office and find that it isn’t his, or they will go out to the pub and Tom will be wearing the shirt that Ed remembers wearing two weeks before. As time goes on, the lines where separating him and Tom begin to blur more and more. 

And honestly, Edward doesn’t mind at all.

However, there is one thing that they do differ on, and that is their attitude for work.

That isn’t to say that Edward doesn’t enjoy his work, and that he doesn’t put any effort in because he does. But he is also loves the moment when he can turn off his computer, leave the office and not have to think about the seemingly never-ending stream of emails that plague him.

Whereas Edward is certain that, if given the choice, Tom would do nothing but work. It is something that has been ingrained into him since childhood, Edward suspects. He had grown up in the countryside, his struggles being distant yet disapproving parents who would ship him off to boarding school so as to not have to deal with him for half the year;  the expectation to never let anything show, even on the days where he wanted to do nothing but cry; and the loneliness that ate away at him, despite being almost always surrounded by people. But no matter how cold his family would get, they would always provide for him. He never had to worry about food, or shelter, or money.

Thomas hadn’t been quite so lucky.

It had taken him a while to tell Edward about his childhood, having buried every trace of it deep down out of fear that anyone would find out and think less of him for it.

Not that sane person who had ever met the man would ever think badly of Thomas Jopson. He was hard-working, punctual, incredibly well organised but also friendly, funny, and kind. He remembered everyone’s name in the office, and would always make time to stop and chat. He seemed to have this magical ability to see everyone, and make you feel seen in return, which had terrified Edward at first. He wasn’t used to attention, used to people only talking to him when they needed something from him and for not a second more. So it had been a shock one day to find a cup of tea set down on his desk and looked up to find Francis Crozier’s assistant in front of him with a beaming smile, asking how his day is going. It was a strange feeling being noticed, and realising that Jopson must have noticed him enough attention to make his tea order perfectly. After that, Tom’s visits to his desk had become more frequent, and he would visit Tom at his own whenever the man had a spare minute. And desk visits had become a few pints in the pub after work, and pub trips became dinner, and then he one day he found himself sat across from Tom in the park on his old picnic blanket when the other man had leaned across and kissed him.  

After that, Edward started to see more and more of the real Thomas Jopson, as the other man slowly peeled away his hardened layers, letting Edward see what lay beneath. His eyes crinkled when he really smiled, and he snorted when he laughed, and his accent would slip if he was ever really excited about something. He let Tom see the true him in return, and he knows they both found it hard to let someone in after so long, but god was it worth it.

One night, as they were laying in bed, just between awake and sleep when Tom began to talk. He told Edward all about his childhood; about his mum, the young boy who was forced to become a parent to his younger brother, how he had started working so young just so there could be food on the table, about the fear that hangs over him and that he will wake up one day to find he is still that little scared boy, fighting to survive.

His voice hadn’t wavered as he talked, and Edward marvelled at his bravery; to flay himself open, pull down every wall he had built up and let everything else fall away until there was just him. He didn’t say it, but Edward could hear him all the same, saying here I am, this is it, do you still love me? And Edward had thought yes, I love you now more than ever and just pulled Tom in close, held him tight against his chest and promised him that he would never be alone again.

The memories were dredged up again once Crozier made the decision to stop drinking, encouraged by Tom, and Edward could do little besides watching the man he loved run himself into the ground, helping James care for Francis whilst trying to keep the office running smoothly and look after himself. Ed could help with last part at least, and so he made food and made sure that Tom actually ate it, kept the flat tidy because the last thing Tom needed was to come home and have to clean, and when Tom came home late at night exhausted, shaking and overwhelmed by the memories, Edward would hold him, let him cry into his shoulder until he was asleep.

It wasn’t long after that, once Crozier had returned to the office healthier and happier than he’d been in a long time, that Tom had quietly mentioned that he was thinking of a career change. He had always helped people, had always liked helping people and he wanted to do it for other people, to choose to help them and help other people the way he wished someone would have helped him as a child. So the next few weeks were spent meticulously researching different courses and placements and funding and eventually Tom had decided.

He was going to become a nurse.

Ed had been wholly supportive, of course, and his heart swelled with pride as Tom had told him, knowing he would do whatever he could to help the man he loved achieve his dreams. He kept it quiet at the office until Tom had figured out a way to tell Crozier his plans, but he couldn’t help but beam whenever he caught Tom’s eye.

(Once he found out, Crozier was overjoyed but also a little heartbroken to be losing his trusted assistant.)

But he wouldn’t be losing him for a while, as it was going to be a long process. Because he had to care for his mum and brother, Tom had had to drop out of school the minute he could which meant that he didn’t have much in the way of qualifications. So he was put on a foundation course so that he could catch up before starting the proper training, which sadly he hadn’t been able to get funding for. Both Edward and Francis (and almost everyone they knew) had offered to help him, so that he would have time to study, but Tom being Tom would not and could not accept it. This was his decision and he wanted to do it by himself.   So he was still working full time at the office, whilst coming home in the evenings to study.  Which would have been fine if Tom wasn’t such a perfectionist, and work himself late into the night as he is doing once again tonight.

Edward catches a glimpse of the clock as he makes his way out of the bedroom towards the living room and he sees that it reads 3:34 and sighs. This is the latest that Tom has been up this week and Ed knows that if he carries on like this, he will burn himself out.

Tom is sat on the sofa, laptop balanced on his lap with textbooks open all around  him, and even from here Edward can see the exhausted set to his shoulders. At least this time he has made it to the sofa, some nights Edward has found him slumped over the table, shoulders drawn up tight and back tense, and Ed had to sit and watch him wince every time he turned too quickly, the next day when he thought no-one could see.

He shuffles over to the sofa, and Tom doesn’t notice him until he comes to sit beside him. From here Ed can see the deep bags beneath his boyfriends eyes, the paleness of his face and the tiredness that seems to be pouring off of him and he curses himself for not waking earlier and pulling Tom into bed with him, back from the edge of exhaustion before he can do any real harm to himself.

“Shit, did I wake you?” Tom asks, voice quiet but rough with tiredness and eyes slowly blinking at Ed.

“No, just woke up,” he replies. “Missed you.”

“Sorry, darling. I just need to finish this and then I’ll come in,” Tom says, turning back to his typing.

Edward knows better than to start arguing with him, Tom can be incredibly stubborn, and even more so if he thinks he is being coddled. So, he has learnt to resort to slightly more underhanded tactics. He manoeuvres himself up so that he can wrap his arm around Toms waist and let his head fall on his shoulder.

“Ned—” Tom protests, but Ed just hums and squeezes his middle, sneaking his hand underneath Tom’s shirt and runs his fingers along the skin just above his waistband. He pushes his face into Tom’s neck, nose nuzzling at the spot just below his ear that he knows makes Tom weak.

Tom huffs and carries on typing, but Ed can already feel the tension draining from him, and he smiles. Tom is one of the strongest people Edward knows, he carries so much weight on his slim shoulders, but most of the time he carries it effortlessly and Ed is in awe of him.

But there are times when it all becomes a little bit too much and Edward is there to help him carry the load.

He knows Tom has a path in his head, carefully treading the line between the past and the present, taking him where he knows he needs to go. But sometimes he stumbles, pushes himself a little too hard, is a little too harsh on himself, but it doesn’t matter because Ed is there walking every step behind him.

And he will always be there to lead him home.

[caravaggiosbrushes]

do you do fitzcontier? if so, prompt 24 on the fluff list for them? c: (if not, either fitzier or fitzconte works too!! also addition: I adore the tinder au so much, I've read that one at least 3 times <3)

MAN OF COURSE I DO FITZIERCONTE, I ALSO WROTE ONE which is way too long but yeah, enjoy in case you haven’t read it yet! thank you for the prompt, i hope you like this! 💕 and OMG THANK YOU SO MUCH, you read the tinder AU THREE TIMES— 😭 brb doing a lil cry

24: "how mad would you be if i kissed you?"

All the whiskey they’ve had throughout the entire night has led them here. Or so Francis tells himself, because it’s easier than accepting how he has been not only an accepting part in this, but an active one too.

Le Vesconte is currently sitting -shamelessly splayed out, more likely,- on the sofa in between Francis and James and he has let his knees fall obscenely apart, touching both Francis and James’. At some point in the evening he has lost his necktie and Francis finds his sharp collarbones to be terribly distracting.

What’s even more distracting, however, is the way James -Francis’ James,- looks at Le Vesconte, as if the man holds every truth in his words, behind his lips.

Which is exactly where James’ gaze is fixed at.

Which is exactly what should make Francis angry, but instead it’s making him hard and way too warm. He wishes he could undo his stupid necktie too. He hopes things will progress in a direction that will make him do just that very soon.

Judging by how James stares at his friend and how Le Vesconte keeps splaying himself more and more against them both (he’s just hooked a leg over James’ knee, and has an arm across the back of the sofa, behind Francis’ head) he’d say the outcome of their night will be a very nice one.

“How long?” Le Vesconte asks at some point, sipping the remaining of his whiskey.

There’s no need to be more specific: they all know what he’s referring to.

“Since the Expedition,” Francis says, proudly, “The first months of it.”

James smiles at him, looking smitten and drunk in equal measure, and nuzzles his face in Le Vesconte’s neck, sighing happily.

The Lieutenant hums, looking at Francis with a pleased and somewhat impressed smile. “I would have said a bit later than that, during the second winter, probably.”

“Why do you care?” James whispers on his skin. “Jealous you didn’t get to join?”

He has his eyes closed and Francis can see the tip of his tongue darting out now and then to lap at Le Vesconte’s skin. He’s pretty impressed with how steady the man sounds under James' attentions (though his true state is made obvious by the hard line ruining his uniform pants).

“Furious.” Le Vesconte says, looking indeed aflame, but with desire and anticipation.

“Perhaps it is for the better,” Francis says, brushing a lock of silver hair away from his face, “There was no way all three of us would have fit in any of our berths.”

“I can be surprisingly flexible,” Le Vesconte casually comments, “and James is very stubborn. As I’m sure you know.”

Francis looks at James, who’s gently rocking his hips against Le Vesconte’s side, now and then, almost lazily. He looks at Francis from behind the locks of hair in front of his eyes.

“I know.” Francis says.

Le Vesconte seems to be very interested in the way they’re looking at each other: he shifts a bit, gently pushes a hand in James’ hair to make him lift his face until they’re nose to nose. James is breathing heavily, his eyes fixed on Le Vesconte’s mouth. When he licks at his own lips, the tip of his tongue brushes on the other man’s bottom lip. James makes a noise in the back of his throat.

“How mad would you be if I kissed him?” Le Vesconte asks, playing with James’ hair.

“Very.” Francis says, blinded with lust, “I don’t like when people touch my things.”

James reaches out a hand toward him, but otherwise stays still. Francis takes it, playing with his long fingers.

“And how mad would you be,” Henry grins, leaning toward Francis this time, making James whine in protest, “if I kissed you?”

“Terribly mad.” He says, before kissing him.

( send me a prompt and I’ll write you a short fic! )

[sunlitroom]

 @rhavewellyarnbag kindly tagged me to list my favourite characters from ten different fandoms and to tag ten people.  Thank-you.  I’m not entirely sure that I have ten fandoms, but I’ll keep going until I run out.

1. Gotham.  Oswald Cobblepot.  

I’m hardly alone in this.  Oswald is very much the character of Gotham season one.  He’s vulnerable, soft at times, but he’s violent and dangerous.  He’s loving, and capable of great generosity, but he can be cold and greedy+.  He schemes and dares and risk with wild abandon.  Oswald in season one may be a step ahead of everyone else, but he’s one misstep from winding up dead.

Oswald is an Other.  His foreignness is emphasised by his jangling East European musical motif, and his mother’s accent, and differently spelled name.  He’s physically different.  He’s slight and short among the big broad mafia guys.  His vulnerability in a physical context is underlined by his limp.  His manners can be old-fashioned, wandering into fussy (he quickly stands up at his table when Jim comes to the club).  His sexuality is other - we see, incredibly early in season one, that he desires and has feelings for Jim.  His methods and style are typically feminine: although he is capable of physical violence, he’s more likely to scheme.  The poisoning we see in season one is usually a feminine murder trope.  We know - even before we meet him - that he was an outsider: his mother’s reference to bullies, his desperation to make friends, his visceral rage when the two guys who give him a lift mock him.

Aside from all that - he’s a fully-realised person.  He longs and bleeds and hurts and fumes and boasts.  He makes mistakes.  He gets tired.  He gets lonely.  He has regrets.  He can be ridiculous, and he can be noble.  

I’ll argue that the writing in later seasons becomes very lazy and Flanderising - but the good solid foundations of season one hold true

2. Hannibal. Frederick Chilton

Frederick is a bright spot of very human ridiculousness.  He’s hardly unsuccessful - he’s head of the Baltimore Hospital for the Criminally Insane - but he’s insecure and chronically aware of his own inadequacies.  He’s vain and silly and inadvertently hilarious.

For all that, though, Frederick is good-hearted.  When Francis has him captive, and threatens to kill Reba if he makes a sound, Frederick stays silent - even though it’s probably his last best chance to avoid a horrible fate.  His actions were in stark contrast against our ‘heroic’ characters, who had knowingly used him as bait, despite the risk.  

Frederick deserved better.

3. DS9. Kira Nerys

Arguably one of the most full-realised women in Star Trek.  Kira has a violent past full of trauma.  She owns her identity - even if she’s not proud of everything she’s done.  She has regrets.  She’s fiercely loyal.  She has a deep and abiding faith.  She’s vivacious - she enjoys herself more as time goes on, and truly values her friendships.  She has lovers.  She cares deeply about the future of her home.  She can endure just about anything.  She has a core of deeply-held principles, but she’s capable of change.

4. Smallville. Lex Luthor.

Godamnit - Lex just wants love and connection and he does not get it.  He’s clever and soft and generous and people just take endless advantage.  I really love later fic when he lives in Metropolis and we get lots of detail about his tastes and domestic habits, for some reason.  What colour his pyjamas are?  What he does when he gets a headache?  Yes please - all the details.

5. E.R.  Robert Romano

Romano was one of those characters you get a lot in shows of yore - who is plainly brought in to be a short-term antagonist, turns out to be successful, and then rapidly has his corners knocked off.

Romano is never entirely softened.  He’s difficult, and you sometimes get the sense that he genuinely struggles around people.  He’ll annoy people to amuse himself, and this can be heightened to deliberately repulsing/alienating them in what looks a lot like self-destructive behaviour.  He’s lonely, but he still - sometimes deliberately - fails to connect.

All that said, he’s not a bad person, and has a softer side.  His unrequited love for Elizabeth is probably where it’s most apparent.  He never stops caring about her: even when they’re at odds, not even when he sees her at her worst.  He visibly aches for her - not just sexually - for her, all of her, for some time, for some connection. 

Again - deserved better. Mercifully, there’s fic.

Honourable mentions

I don’t know if I would quite class these as fandoms for me - but they’re characters I’m fond of.

James Norrington, from those Pirates of the Caribbean films that I’ve never really watched.  There is a post somewhere that says Norrington is an Austen hero stuck in a Disney film, and I have to agree.  You keep longing for him to be lifted from the headache-inducing setting and placed somewhere infinitely more congenial.  

Edmund Blackadder - you magnificent bastard.

This is very likely fanon Hux (I’ve never seen the films) - but neurotic, prissy, vain, iron-willed, sarcastic Hux is good fun.

I tag - if they’d like to play: @lalaurelia, @dashokeypokey, @shadow-waterglow-and-atcnm, @ncfan-1, @littlesaintmick, @inappropriatefangirlneeds, @peritwotone, @marywisdom, @delicatelyserved and @marcceh

[vole-mon-amour]

OTP tag game.

Tagged by @captainjowl. You know for sure than I'm struggling to pick only 10 & fit them in here. But hell, that’s fun, thank you <3

Rules: Choose 10 OTPs BEFORE reading the questions, and then get to answering

1) Harry James Potter & Sirius Orion Black

2) Daniel Le Domas & Grace (Ready or Not 2019)

3) Samuel & Nathan Drake (Uncharted 4)

4) Corvo Attano & The Outsider (+probably Emily Kaldwin; Dishonored series)

5) Steve Grant Rogers & Bucky Buchanan Barnes (Marvel)

6) Tony Edward Stark & Peter Benjamin Parker (Marvel)

7) Handsome Jack & Rhys (Borderlands video game series)

8) Damon Salvatore & Elena Gilbert (TVD Books & a tv show)

9) Batman & Joker (in every universe, really)

10) Adam Jensen x Francis Pritchard (Deus Ex video game series)

1. Do you remember the episode/scene/chapter that you first started shipping 6?

I believe it didn't hit me before Spider-Man: Homecoming. Civil War was about Steve & Bucky for me, but when I saw that growing up Peter with Tony, their dynamic, chemistry. Tom & Robert are really just like that.

2. Have you ever read a fanfic about 2?

Lmao. I've read like 50% of the tag on AO3, I wrote my own & started a few wips on them. They are amazing. Plus, with that shitty canon? We didn't get enough of them & they deserved better, so it's only logical to save yourself with fanfiction.

3. Has a picture of 4 ever been your screen saver/profile picture/tumblr screen saver?

I was living with The Outsider icon on my twitter & tumblr. That one is still my Google profile picture I believe. Don't remember about having an icon with the two of them. Also had The Outsider as my lockscreen on my smartphone for a while.

4. If 7 were to suddenly break up today, what would your reaction be?

Funny how it fits canon, lmao. Rhys literally tried to erase Jack's AI in TFTBL, so I guess another day on Pandora, nothing new. They torture each other, they kiss each other, they kill other people in the process. It'll be fiiine.

5. Why is 1 so important?

I love them since the first time I met them, which was much more than 10 years ago, I don't even remember when. At some point they were the reason I was waking up & forcing myself to eat just to read more fanfiction & feel something. Even if I was drowning in pain (I was extremely depressed), it was still something. I read every fic I could find at that time. The depression that Harry went through, all these feelings, his love for Sirius. I was living through it, I could relate.

I'm currently drowning in these two again, though in a much healthier & happier state. I see their flaws & I know as much as I can. I see them differently as an adult. They saved me, they keep being my number one, I still consider making a tattoo of Padfoot/Sirius or of both Harry & Sirius together. I have many headcanons, ideas, I write fics about them. They are everything, you see? They were my choice when there was nothing, no one. They are HOME.

6. Is 9 a funny ship or a serious ship?

Both. There goes the dynamic of Jack & Rhys: torture, fighting, flirting, a lot of trauma. I'd definitely say that they are wild and comical sometimes, but they are definitely serious. With the Asylum, the mental health issues. There is so much more to it, the complexity of their relationship. The struggle of loving who you probably shouldn't (but hey, when does it work like that?) Thinking about Tettlate's Batman, about Batman: Europa & how Joker was: "You must be crazy, putting me in charge of the plan, letting me decide. Okay, well..."

Nah, they are entertaining, but this is a serious ship.

7. Out of all the ships listed, which ship has the most chemistry?

Are you kidding me? They are all the definition of CHEMISTRY. I'd say 5, but then go 2, 6, 7, 8. Come on. I'm not choosing. Most of they are WILD.

9. How many times have you read/watched the 10’s fandom?

The fandom itself? Idk. I found one of my favourite artists through this fandom. If it's about the characters themselves, I played the first game with the DLC from start to beginning, looking around every corner. Spent more than 60 hours in there. Watched a second game (my laptop can't run the game) and the DLC (obviously), since Francis is in the DLC & not in the main game. I have a tag for them on tumblr, I read fanfiction, I tried to write my own. I still follow Elias & want a third game. Elias liked my tweets about Adam and Jensen being an actual couple a few times. I'd say I interacted with all of this a lot? Still do, actually.

10. Which ship has lasted the longest?

5. Best friends since childhood, fought & died for each other, still found their way back to each other. "It would break your Captain's heart, to see what they did to you." That only the MENTION of Steve can pull Bucky out of this brain washing(ed?) state, distract him in the middle of a fight. When Steve died in the comics because of Sharon & Tony sent Natasha to take Steve's shield from Bucky because even Tony knew how much Steve means to Bucky. And Bucky was like: "Oh, I see what he did. Not happening!" Fought Natasha (that is his ex in the comics) & kept going for Steve's sake.

Well, you see the point, I can go on and on.

11. How many times, if ever, has 6 broken up?

They're not actually canon so none? They had a few fights: In Civil war (the comics), in Homecoming (the movie).  That only means that they’ve got history & love each other.

12. If the world was suddenly thrust into a zombie apocalypse, which ship would make it out alive, 2 or 8?

As fierce Grace is, they wouldn't stand a chance against Damon & Elena. Those two had to deal with worst thing than brainless stupid zombies. On the other hand, if there were no alive humans to drink their blood... It's either an animal diet that Damon hates so much or I don't know? Still, they're faster & more powerful. Their bodies have advantage of healing the wounds as well.

13. Did 7 ever have to hide their relationship for any reason?

From some people, yeah. Don't tell Athena, don't tell Vaughn, don't tell Fiona. Though Rhys wasn't very subtle about it & Jack just doesn't give a fuck. You will probably end up dead if you disagree or bore him, or if you're useless.

"I can take you to the top, but you gotta know where the top is" & Rhys doesn't tell anybody until Jack makes him the President for like whole 20 minutes lol.

Fiona & Sasha: "This can't be happening." Sure it can, darling.

14. Is 4 still together?

I have a headcanon about The Outsider finding Emily & Corvo after Billie frees him from the Void. He doesn't have anybody & they are his only friends aside from a potential friendship with Billie. And if we don't consider TOTO dlc, they definitely are! The Outsider visits them both when they sleep & takes them to the void sometimes. How could he not?

15. Is 10 canon?

Not really but also sort of? Let's say that they really care about each other in canon, despite Adam pushing Francis away because of his trauma & fear that Megan caused him. :/

16. If all 10 ships were put into a couple’s Hunger Games, which couple would win?

Can you imagine wizards fighting extremely powerful vampires? Superheroes with venom in their bodies that make them super strong with people that made a deal with the Devil himself (hi Le Bail)? 5000 y.o. God and his lover that share his powers and an augmented human protecting his tired IT guy? Combine mental health issues to that, Jack and Rhys with Batman and Joker. Corvo & The Outsider would probably slay them all as Corvo and Emily did in both games with entire islands, though it will still be a slaughter anyway.

17. Has anybody ever tried to sabotage 5’s ship?

All the fucking time, lmaooo. I’m not even talking about it.

18. Which ship would you defend to the death and beyond?

I feel like I already did with Steve & Bucky after many Marvel movies (we're not even mentioning Endg*me, I fucking died & was dead for full 4-5 months).

19. Do you spend hours a day going through 3’s tumblr page?

I used to do that a few years back, but not anymore. There is not much content since the trilogy is finished.

20. If an evil witch descended from the sky and told you that you had to pick one of the ten ships to break up forever or else she’d break them all forever, which ship would you sink?

1 already went through it & fandom lives, so I'd say maybe 7? Rhys will find a way to bring Jack back & they are both so wild. It’s what happened in canon anyway. Jack kidnapped Lilith & forced her to do Angel's job, so I'd like to see that witch try at first. Jack is an immortal bastard. <3

Now that I think about it, Corvo would also deal with her in seconds as she waits to curse them.

As a conclusion: no one breaks up forever, we're killing the witch.

I tag: @ianmillkovichgallagher​ & @aledbr​

Whoever else wants to join the game, please do.

[asthearrowflies]

Cursed

Word Count  1068

TW: Mature Audience , Abuse , No self worth , loss

Clint Barton

CBB bingo  -  Middle Square  Birthday

Picture drawn by Essoulfe found on Google

Summary

First Dark fic so be kind . Clint never has had a good birthday. So he belives that his birthday is cursed . Lots of sad Clint moments

Story

Clinton Francis Barton at the age of five  had just started to discover what other children had that he simply did not. Like Birthday Parties.In his Kindergarten class it was birthday season, One of the boys, James a friend of Clint was having a party at something called Chuck E Cheese. He was so excited when he got the invite . He waved it at Barney when his older brother came to collect him.

“Barney Barney” He called excitedly

“Clinton whats up short stuff Good day at school” He asked putting on the Captain America  backpack on the younger boy. It was a little faded and ripped but Clint didnt mind It had Captain America on it , He didnt know it had been a dumpster  find, that Barney had gone searching for when Clint had told him he was going to be a Hero some day

“Im going to a Birthday”Clint informed him with self importance

“A Birthday? “Barneys heart sunk for the boy “Really now” He found himself asking as they headed home , taking the long way around, in the hope that Harold, their father would be passed out drunk. It would give Barney time to distract him hopefully. Talks of Birthday and the mysterious land of Chuck E Cheese  kept invading his plans . As  his bad luck carried on just as Clint asked his mother about the birthday, and would not take the hint . Harold back handed him enough to make him to bruise on his face . Meaning days of missed school . Clint didnt mention birthdays again. It was a bad word that made his father angry.

Time moved on as it always did, things staying the same, his father drunk or hitting out at his Mom, or occasionally him and Barney. Barney was his quiet hero. Keeping him safe, protecting him. Something that contuined well beyond his years,.He no longer needed a fictional picture on a faded backpack  . There was one time  Barney wasnt there . It was on his six birthday he tripped up , waking up Harold who then in a drunken rage punished the boy , hitting him hard enough to loose some of the hearing in his left . Birthdays was  a bad thing , a bad bad thing.

Clinton liked the  circus there he didnt have to worry about bad words, not catching words  when he tried to listen  to foster carers. The boys had been thrown into the system after their parents had dued. It hadnt stopped the beatings, and the fact he was bullied more on his birthday, an extra punch  or locked up. Once again Barney had been his hero and come to save the day. Barney was his hero  bringing him to the Circus to live.  Here there was no bad words , no birthdays, no school or ripped clothes Just hard work, and talent. Praise was earned and brand new  to the young teen. Barney didnt like Clint getting the praise or the fact by ten he was a star attraction instead of helping backstage like Barney did. So once more Clint became careful of his words , of his actions in the bid to make his brother happy. He was careful not to question Barneys dissaperance at night. Yet still he did something wrong when Barney beat him and left him alone .

He was just  fourteen when he first got his record. Processing him for the crimes Barney and his gangmates had left him to take the  fall for. He would spend the next few years in and out of Juvenile prison system. Not that it could hold him . During this time his birthday got fortten he didnt need it. He didnt need a hero . Hero's left you alone, without a home . He created an identy while on the street Ronin. An Archer for hire. He wasnt a hero, just a man with a bow. Not caring why he had a job , he just wanted money and a place to live. He didnt care for anything .Not his heros just the money.

His Heros came for him though . Shield came for him in the form of Coulson. He wanted to hire the archer and self trained assasian. Clint was cautious , waiting  for  the reject once more. His assignments grew and they tested his ears. Gave him aids and slowly tamed him alittle. The young archer had created nests, hide aways where he could be secure. A habit that didnt go away even though Shield became a family of sorts, he even brought Natasha to its folds. He wasnt sure at first  if that was  a good idea. She tamed him a little more , teaching him how to accept friends as she in herself learned  forgiveness. He was surprised that on meeting Steve Rogers , the man from his backpack all those  years ago , he was a little unawed by the blond. More intrested in the man with the metal arm Bucky. Although he let down his walls he still would not risk a birthday . Taking missions when he could arround the time of the day of his birth. When that didnt work he took to finding a bolt hole and drinking till it was over.

It just wasnt worth risking another bad birthday that would  take this life  from him. This time he wanted to keep a family even just for a little while . That was his one hope, not to be rejected by the other Avengers. He was after all the weaker one of the team. It was why he didnt miss on his shots , to prove his worth to them all,

He just couldnt go back to the streets, to be alone once more. It would break him he was sure of it

So no more cursed birthdays  He would do anything to keep his place here, do anything they told him, go anywere  they wanted . Just to be a part of something again, because even though he had tried to stay distant as they promoted him to Shield Agent, to Avenger . He found being in Shield he found he missed being part of a family , being part of a team and it would hurt being  on his own again

It might just break him for good this time ….

@averyrogers83 @shield-agent78 @withoutadoubt-bingo  @marvel-ouslythirsty  @threeminutesoflife @ past-perfect-future-tense   @phoenixwithoutadoubt @clintbartonbingo @darkbuckybarnesanon

[zipegs]

i’ve been toying around with the idea of posting a fic rec list for a while, and finally decided that if i do, it might be nice to focus on newer and/or underrated fics in the fandom! some of my absolute favorites are on this list, and i highly suggest checking them out (and leaving the lovely authors some comments and kudos!)

this got pretty long, but it’s organized alphabetically by ship name (including gen) and then by length inside each ship!

blanky/little

Trysails by saltstreets  /  2k, t

“I know I can’t do much,” Blanky said, “but you can always talk to me. If you’re so inclined.”

A (very late!) offering for Tender Tuesday, "a friend in need".

okay!!!!!! okay!!!!! hear me out on this one!! this fic is wonderful. i’m a sucker for fics dealing with edward’s suffering during the worst of crozier’s captaincy, and this one is so good. blanky is so wonderful in this; i feel like his tender, kind side frequently gets overlooked in favor of his bigger, bolder attributes, and this fic truly delivers on everything i’ve been missing! it’s really gentle and sweet and i urge you to give it a read!!!!

bridglar

in the low lamplight by stelleri  /  338, g

It’s endless freezing rain outside, but the house is comfortably warm.

short and sweet! a really lovely little slice-of-life modern au

state of grace by aes3plex  /  860, m

He doesn’t mean to see it. He never does.

bridglar may be the most featured pairing, but this is told from irving’s pov and also contains irving/little and references to hickey/gibson. really sad, conflicted little peek into irving’s mind (and some nice, soft bridglar as well!)

passer iagoensis by greenery  /  3k, g

Night falls on the Beagle and Henry Peglar has just finished reading his very first novel.

Set in 1832.

this piece is so good!! it has some really beautiful (sad) foreshadowing of the franklin expedition, and is just... so soft, with some wonderful romantic tension!! and it’s funny! darwin and fitzroy are wonderful in this, and i’m always here for fic that deals with peglar learning to read (which this does!!!).

cracroft/crozier

the beggar’s opera by pyotr  /  990, e

for all of his usual anger and surliness it was almost fun to fluster francis, to rile him where he could not retaliate. sophia had spent all her life under the thumb of some man or another; she loved francis in part because she always had the upper hand.

sophia is my queen and that’s all i’ll say about that. seriously though, this piece is just... *chef’s kiss*

fitzconte

A Cheetah Never Changes His Spots by onstraysod  /  1.2k, m

Being the particular friend of James Fitzjames has its drawbacks, as Henry Le Vesconte learns during the expedition's first carnivale. But it also has its advantages, as Henry learns once the carnivale is over.

Written for Day 1 (A Special Disguise) of the 12 Days of Carnivale.

on beechey island, fitzjames reveals clio’s cheetah to the men. or... something like it! this piece is really a blast; fitzjames is in rare form, francis is glaring form the sidelines, and le vesconte is an absolute champ. and the ending is wonderfully witty and racy!

fitzier

wake me up, wake me up my darling by norvegiae  /  1.4k, g  /  mcd

James Fitzjames feels like a new man.

The old James Fitzjames lies on the cot in front of him, cradled by the man he wishes he could have had more time with.

set during 1.09, this fic is a really poignant, heartwrenching piece in which james comes to terms with the reality of his death, and of his life, as he watches francis grieve. very sad, and wonderfully written!

what the stars give us by WetSammyWinchester  /  1.7k, t  /  implied death

"They may know space, James, but you know what it means to truly fly."

70s scifi (space program!!!) au. really great translation of the terror; the mood in this is so good!!! and the little flashbacks are fantastic. it’s pretty sad, but it hurts in a good way.

fitzrossier

Take Your Turn, Take A Ride by courfairyac  /  7.5k, e

Francis agrees to accompany his friend to a masquerade, and stumbles onto something quite unexpected.

In short: Festivities! Voyeurism! James in a dress!

listen... fitzrossier is my new weakness, and this is a really fun, hot, canon-universe (pre-expedition) au.

gen

salvation by scribomania  /  250, t

The Concordia brings them survival, but not salvation.

featuring hodgson and little, and jopson. for a survival au, this little piece hurts!!! it’s so short, but it packs a punch. really, really good.

but no one remembers yet by disastermovie  / 885, t

“From the mutilated state of many of the corpses and the contents of the kettles, it is evident that our wretched countrymen had been driven to the last resource—cannibalism—as a means of prolonging existence.”

—excerpt from Dr. John Rae’s report on the fate of the Franklin Expedition to the Secretary of the Admiralty (written from Repulse Bay on July 29, 1854)

sad little epilogue concerning sophia and lady jane dealing with their grief

the weary world rejoices by disastermovie  /  1.3k, t

Fitzjames goes to his first Christmas party after the survivors are rescued. It doesn't go well.

this!!!! fic!!! i can’t even do it justice, it’s just so good. the slow build of james’s panic, the caroling and gaiety as a backdrop... it’s just so painful in the best way. i’m incoherent; pls just read it,

la belle dame sans merci by drowninglovers  /  1.7k, g

Nobody is quite sure who the first one to start making her clothing is, but one day she scampers over the shoulders of the ABs as they line up for lunch wearing a tiny shirt to match her pants. It’s nothing special, no fancy detail, navy blue like most everything else they wear. Whoever made it must have cared a great deal, to make sure it fit her perfectly.

this is incredibly fun!!! just some good, wholesome fic about boys dressing up their favorite lady. 10000/10 would recommend.

Come Here, Fellow Servant by whipstitch  /  1.9k, t

The sea is dangerous, but so too is the open sky. And in that case, Cornelius determines, a friend is an unexpected boon.

okay, i made a rule that i wasn’t going to include wips on this rec list,  but i had to put this guy on here. it could be read as a stand-alone, actually, which is what i used to convince myself to include it. peglar realizes that hickey has no fucking idea what he’s doing, and tries to help him, kind, caring sweetheart that he is. this is a really, really nice little piece—i love everything about it.

lie alone by greenery  /  2k, g

He turns the page. And maybe this is it. Maybe writing a letter to young Tom Hartnell is reason enough to leave the berth.

really nice oneshot featuring two good boys (hodgson & hartnell) and their wholesome status as pen pals

the crooked kind by darrenjolras  /  2.3k, m  /  non-consensual voyeurism

“You and I, Jopson,” Hickey says, and Jopson startles at those words alone, turns an affronted gaze his way. Hickey bathes in the glacial blue of it. Like being thrown overboard. “You and I aren’t so different, you know.”

Based on that Hickey/Jopson scene. You know the one.

the terror bingo fill: court martial

not totally gen, but also not really hickey/jopson? twisted, but very much in character; hickey is his delightful self in this, and his verbal sparring with jopson is very well done and quite fun to read!

gibson/hickey

Touch Her Not Scornfully by skazka  /  2k, e

Stolen moments down below.

this fic is just... really fucking good!!! it’s a fantastic look at the very early days of gibson & hickey’s relationship, and an intriguing little venture into billy’s head.

goodsir/mcdonald

And That is How it Starts by Intrepid_Inkweaver  /  1.2k, g

It starts with a handshake and a warm smile at their introduction at Greenhithe.

a really sweet, lovely canon-divergent piece. written in 2nd person pov. these two are just such a good, wholesome pairing and this fic really does them justice!!

hartving

let loss reveal it by disastermovie  /  1.6k, t  /  mcd

Tom could never quite see himself taking a wife.

this shit fucking hurts!!!!!!! it’s a beautiful glimpse at irving & hartnell’s relationship, told through hartnell’s introspection, and is written really, really well. also did i mention that it fucking hurts???

Lookout Blues by ClockworkCourier  /  2.1k, g

John and Tom Hartnell talk about the future while they wait on a new shipment.

hello??? 1920s au??????? the world-building is so tangible in this, even in such a relatively short piece. it’s a really lovely little conversation between the brothers, and i absolutely loved their little discussion of irving.

we’ll tak’ a cup o’ kindness yet by drowninglovers  /  6.3k, g

If this is to be the last time they interact (and it likely will), Tom wants it to be memorable.

survival au survival au!! tartnell runs into irving at john’s grave, and convinces him to stay with his family until new year’s. it’s kind of bittersweet, with some really great flashbacks (and discussions of said scenes!), and oh man is it soft!! just! really beautiful and tender, and the ending is just so cute!!!!!

hodgson/hickey

the chaos moves by itself by bluebacchus  /  1.3k, e  /  violence, mcd

Hodgson's mind cracks and the heavens flow in.

(Written for Day 7 of Halloween TerrorFest: A disquieting metamorphosis and posted separately because I don't want to taint my main post with borderline vore)

fair warning... this fic is fucked up, but in the best possible way! the religious imagery!!!! the philosophy!!!! just!! god.

hodgson/little

Allegro, B Flat Major by whalersandsailors  /  5.3k, g

George is freshly moved from his childhood home, ready to tackle the school year and his newfound independence all at once.

Too bad he's lonely, miserable, and homesick.

He turns to music when adulthood becomes unbearable, and when someone knocks at his door and leaves an anonymous note, George discovers another music lover not too far away.

have i mentioned i love george hodgson? because i love george hodgson. this fic is a beautiful modern au featuring our own georgie playing his way through his feelings (literally). the buildup to the reveal of george’s secret admirer is wonderful, and had me rooting for them from the start! really sweet, stunning fic for a pairing i’d never considered before!

joplittle

get out of the wind by Cicadaemon  /  1.6k, e

Edward Little is smitten with a certain bartender.

modern au. really lovely, wholesome, and happy; just what these boys deserve!

The Thylacine by Gigi_Sinclair  / 1.7k, t 

"Thylacines. That's what Sophia called them, all those years ago in Van Diemen's Land. Dogs with tiger stripes, cats with pouches. They stretch their jaws at him, as Francis struggles to sit. The movement makes his head spin. He pushes the discomfort aside. He has no time to entertain it; he must escape."

also features cracroft/crozier. this is a really clever, funny piece set during francis’s withdrawal; poor francis is a bit muddled in the throes of his fever, and gets caught up in a memory from van diemen’s land. i absolutely loved little and jopson’s reactions in this, and especially jopson and crozier’s conversation the next morning.

Prelude in D Major by scribomania  /  2.7k, t

Hodgson is very fond of the musical apparatus in Terror's great cabin; Edward is not.

For the Terror Bingo square "denial".

i’m a big big lover of terror lieutenant nonsense, and this fic absolutely delivers! just absolutely delightful.

When the Lights Go On Again by Gigi_Sinclair  /  4.1k, t

"Edward Little's ancestors were Naval officers, almost to a man. Nevertheless, from a young age, Edward's eyes turned to the sky rather than the sea.

He longed to fly, as high and as frequently as possible. In the Royal Air Force, he got his wish. He was happy there, thriving, rising in the ranks apace and doing what he always wanted to do. Then came the first of September, 1939."

wwii au. edward is a squadron leader in the royal air force, and jopson is a corporal working for group captain crozier. i’m weak for wwi and wwii aus to begin with, and this one is done beautifully. while it doesn’t hand-wave the trauma and heartbreak of war, it doesn’t hit you over the head with it either, and the result is a really soft, bittersweet, hopeful piece.

lozer

a lily for my love by whalersandsailors  /  3.7k, m

Solomon never thought that soul-signs were real, and the stories he heard about them made soulmates sound more like a prison sentence than any fairy tale romance. It is not until he finds a soul-sign on the skin of a very dear friend that he realizes their importance, as well as their undoing.

this piece is!!! beautiful!!! very poignant, and really had me feeling for solomon. i love what’s been done with the soulmark conceit—it’s not just a simple “we have soulmarks, we’re soulmates!!!’ au (which i’ll admit to enjoying too), but a really thoughtful take on the trope. the slow way tozer puzzles everything out is wonderful, and i love the glimpses we get into several of his friendships & relationships. 

morfin/weekes

to help you remember by whalersandsailors  /  1.2k, g

An anniversary, during which Weekes presents Morfin with a gift, and Morfin struggles to remember why.

do you ever just get clotheslined by a pairing you’d never even considered before? because that’s what this fic did to me

[heyktula]

Closer, Chapter Four: Kink - Bonus Features

Chapter four of Closer, the first installment in Somewhere in Canada (the Terror kink AU)... is now up! It's a plot-heavy chapter! There's some platonic kink! There's the plot to an entirely different story if you squint!

Technical notes first, story notes after, line notes to finish it all up.

Alright, here we go.

Technical Considerations:

Chapter Titles: So I didn't have any particular chapter titles in mind when I started this story. The original structure I'd planned for was one chapter for Friday, one for Saturday, one for Sunday, with Jopson POV at the very beginning of chapter one, and then again at the very end of three.

Obviously, uh, there was too much story for that to fly. So I cut it where I needed to cut it, and swapped my structure to have Jopson POV at the beginning of every chapter (and bonus Jopson POV at the end of the chapter). So I needed five chapter titles. First I couldn't think of anything good, and then it occurred to me that I could name four of them after the RACK acronym (Risk Aware Consensual Kink), and then it was super fascinating from a storytelling perspective because of the way the chapters lined up. Like, Risk deals with the risks that Edward didn't take because he totally ducks out of talking to Jopson that first night. Aware covers them starting to know each other. Consensual covers the dungeon scene, Kink covers platonic kink, and also the very normal way that both of them have integrated kink into their regular lives, and how it leads to these intimacies that are normal for them, but would be strange from a vanilla perspective or in a vanilla relationship. And then, finally, since I needed a fifth chapter title, Aftercare seemed like the obvious solution, which cracks me up because the entire chapter is, uh, well. I mean, it's aftercare for them. But yeah.

Mornings: So I wanted the structure of this fic to be all chronological in order--ie, no re-covering events that have already happened from someone else's POV within the same fic. (The Tozer/Irving fic, obviously, will be covering many of the same events, but it'll be different enough that it won't matter.) Which led to an icky bit for me, because I split the chapters differently than I anticipated (see above), and needed to start the day out with Jopson-POV even though I already had this lovely Little-POV drafted out.

Thankfully, Jopson came in for the win with that one, because he's a morning person, and Ned isn't, and their alarms were set for different enough times that I could go right from Jopson's wakeup to Ned's wakeup without having to retread the same information or the same section of the day (technically, there's a small chronological overlap, I think Jopson is probably eating breakfast when Little is trying to resurrect himself from his bed, but I've decided I Don't Care).

The Three Bears' Bed: This is such a smol technical note, but I wanted to bring it up because it's one of the really fun things that you can do with deep POV. It's implied (and confirmed in the next chapter) that Jopson and Edward are in essentially identical hotel rooms. But if you squint--they both describe their beds very differently. Jopson's bed is "too big", ie, he clearly sleeps on a single at home, and it's probably not as nice as the hotel bed. Edward's bed, a carbon copy of the queen bed Jopson is sleeping in, is "too small", ie, he's clearly got a king-sized monstrosity for himself back at home. I absolutely live for these kinds of things that are literally too minor to be noticed (nor should they be, they're meant to fade into the background), but which communicate so much about the characters.

(Ah, god, there's going to be so much adjusting for them to do in London. Their lives are very, very different. Jopson is starting to clue in, and he's going to have to sit with that once he has a clear head and lets all the subconscious stuff he's been picking up on actually gel together. Right now, he's very much in the 'whoa that looks expensi--hooooly fuck Ned Little is hot' phase. He'll have a Moment in London, though, where he'll sit bolt upright in his single bed and go wait a minute he put fifties in the donation bin when I blacked his boots and didn't even blink, he just casually throws large denomination bills* around.)

*I grew up low income, and I never carry anything bigger than a twenty in my wallet. People who are used to having more money, in my experience, tend to carry larger bills in their wallets. I know a fifty isn't actually a large denomination bill, but it is when you aren't used to carrying that kind of money around. Fifties make me tense until I break them. If I have a hundred, it's because someone gifted it to me, and I am gonna stress about it until I get it to the bank to deposit. Twenties are good for me, thanks.

Story Considerations:

Jopson's Work Ethic: Jopson's work ethic is in full force here, and I love to see it. I also love to see how firm he is about not hiding it. Like, Blanky understands how rare it is for Jopson to find someone he connects with the way he connects with Nedward, and was perfectly willing to skip the dungeon* to give Jopson another go at it. But Jopson, at some point, has transitioned from 'perfect, a weekend hookup' to 'perfect, I would like Ned in my life always'. (Gonna guess it was that post blowjob cuddle-nap that tipped it over, to be perfectly honest.) And Jopson knows that for Ned to be in his life always, Jopson needs to be realistic with him about what his life actually looks like--so he's going to work the long hours that he usually works, and he's going to run Blanky's booth so that Blanky can head to the dungeon tonight, and when Edward asks to be told literally anything about Jopson's life, Jopson moves immediately to telling Ned about his job.

(You'll note that Jopson has a schedule for working in the morning, the afternoon, and also the evening, ie, decidedly more than an eight hour day/forty hour work week. He did not mention that he frequently goes to Terror, and then shows back up at three am to do more work in a haze of subspace, but I'm sure he'll get around to it.)

I think it's important to Jopson that Edward accept him as he is--that is, no arguing about what comes first (it's work), or what Jopson's priorities are (also work), or how much availability Jopson has for a relationship (all of it...after work). So in that sense, this is pretty much a trial by fire--Jopson is saying 'look, this is what my life is like, and if you fit, you can stay', and Edward, in turn, is saying 'please just let me sit next to you, I like it here'. (I'm sure Tozer would be irritable about Edward's changed loyalties if he weren't currently sorting out, you know, every bad decision he made the previous night).

*This is not a Blanky-specific thing. If Esther were here instead, she and Jopson would have the same arrangement. I think either Blanky or Esther would be equally fun to play with, don't you?

Duty and Responsibility: I also love the differing approaches to duty and responsibility, as displayed by Joplittle--Edward talks, multiple times, about his duties and responsibilities here as something that he needs to shoulder, like it's a too-heavy pack that he's hauling around behind him when he would really rather just pull the covers over his head and stay there. Jopson, however, is thriving under his.

I would posit that, perhaps, if Edward managed to distance himself further from Hickey's bullshit, that maybe his responsibilities wouldn't suck so much. But for Edward to get away from Hickey's bullshit, that would mean Tozer would also have to put his foot down, and Tozer has been ambivalent about doing that, so far.

Sadomasochism, and the ‘Gold-Star’ Dom: Oh, Edward, my sweetheart, my dear, you have a track record of dating terrible people, and hanging out with people who kinkshame you, and I am so sorry that it's come to this.

There's this really fascinating (by which I mean it's incredibly toxic) culture difference between old guard spaces and the "newer" spaces. For people Francis' age who grew up in old guard leather kink scenes, they would have come up in the scene submitting first, and then either continuing to submit, or transitioning into being a dominant as they gained experience. However, for newer spaces--and here, I'm talking about something that was starting to happen for people around Fitzjames' age--there started to be a shift toward just doing one or the other*. By the time we get to people in the same age range as Little**, Tozer, and Jopson, the emphasis on picking one or the other is much more prominent. You should 'know' your orientation when you enter the scene--and then that's typically where you stay. There's no requirement for a dom to have ever subbed--and there's no requirement for doms to be familiar with the business end of their implements either. (If I had a dollar for every talk I'd been to where a dom was proud that they've never actually tested gear on themselves, I would have a lot of dollars.)

This leaves Little in an awkward spot--he's got no interest in submitting (as per the way he nopes out of any sort of cuffs or protocol with James Clark Ross), but, unlike Tozer, who tolerates getting hit in the context of fighting but doesn't particularly like it, Little actively enjoys the pain of getting hit. Based on how awkwardly he discloses that to Jopson, we can infer (correctly) that it's gone down badly in previous hookups.

(The general stereotype that dominant-sadist-top*** and submissive-masochist-bottom are one scale instead of, you know, three different scales, is not helping Ned at all here.)

So Ned is in this spot as a sadomasochist dom where he's had a hard time finding a partner that is willing to accept that he has a masochist streak as well. Enter Jopson...

*I think, though I'm not sure, that part of this shift was kink culture moving into the straight scene as well. Heterosexual kink tends to avoid the formalized learning process, and focus strictly on I Have Always Been A Dom.

**For the purposes of kink!AU, I'm going with approximate show ages for everyone--I think I saw somewhere that historically, Little was older than Fitzjames--but I'm going with an older Fitzjames and a younger Little here, for Fitzier Reasons.

***Note that I’m talking about top and bottom in a BDSM sense here--the one who wields the flogger vs the one who has the flogger used on them. The penetrator/penetratee during intercourse is an entirely separate thing, which....you guessed it....is also unrelated to the above-mentioned scales.

Service: Jopson thrives when he's engaged in acts of service. I really loved working with the translation of canon-to-kink!Jopson, because it's really fascinating to dig into how those canon aspects of his personality translate. Like, the long hours as a steward translate directly to the long hours that he works for Francis. But those acts of service translate really easily into submission as well. (I would posit that, for people who pursue more 'lifestyle' kink as opposed to 'bedroom-only' kink, there's a great chance that they'll pursue jobs that play to those strengths.)

The particular benefit to this that's working in Ned's favour here is that Jopson loves nothing more than to arrange things for people to make sure they have what they need. So this intersects perfectly with Ned's typical methods for managing his top drop--if Jopson can leverage his connections to make sure that Ned has access to people that will let him bottom-but-not-submit for them when he needs it, well, that's a win for both of them.

(I would hazard a guess, if you squinted, that Ned is sexually monogamous, and generally dates other monogamous people, which sometimes makes the negotiation of play with other people outside the dyad a non-starter. I would also guess that Jopson wouldn't consider monogamy to be a particular value of his, and so anything he can do to make sure Ned is looked after is perfect for him.)

Top Drop: Pretty much any kink conference that even slightly touches on educational aspects will have a talk about subdrop, typically led by a sub or a panel of subs, or sometimes by a dom/sub pair, discussing how to properly care for one's sub, how to deal with subdrop, and all those coping kinds of mechanisms. I can guarantee Edward has attended a number of those talks, written at least one blog post, and probably could speak on it if you really bullied him into it.

Those same conferences typically do not talk about top drop. I've been to lots of talks on sub drop. I've only ever been to one on top drop, and it was so horribly done that we’re still talking about it years later. Even googling when I was brushing up on my research for this fic didn't give me much.

Anyways, it's good that Jopson works for Crozier, who treats drop as something that can happen to anyone regardless of position. In turn, this means Jopson is able to recognize it happening to Ned, and will just merrily bulldoze and/or gently bully Ned until he gets the information he needs to be able to help.

RACK and SSC: Ah, look, it's the author picking a pedantic fight in the middle of their fic using their POV character as a mouthpiece. SO. When I was first getting into kink in the early two thousands, SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) was the name of the game. It essentially means that the activities you do under the BDSM umbrella should fit all three of those criteria.

The issue that I and many others have with the acronym is that it doesn't particularly fit that well for a lot of the activities in BDSM. After all, what's really safe? You can trip walking down the same stairs that you've walked down every day of your life if your shoelace is loose, or if your ankle goes weird, or if you're just not paying attention. What's sane? No, really, what is it? What defines sane? Should we be using mental health terms to determine whether or not something is a good idea? What's the opposite of 'sane' in this context?

(I'm not gonna bicker about consensual, obviously, that one I still hold to.)

How do you practice edge play under SSC? Can you safely punch someone? Is it sane to do so? (God, I hate the inclusion of 'sane' in the acronym so much.) Can you consent to something that doesn't fit the first two criteria? If you decide an activity fits all three criteria, does that guarantee nobody gets hurt? (Absolutely not.)

So, there's a shift in the scene to use RACK instead--Risk Aware Consensual Kink. RACK is more focused on assessing the risks to specific activities, and consenting to do those activities even though the risk exists. You can definitely punch someone under RACK--because RACK supposes that you've discussed the risks of punching them, you're both doing your best to manage those risks, and you've both consented to the activity while recognizing that it’s inherently risky to do it and you’ve taken as many precautions as you can.

Sir John 'actually the expedition is outfitted for seven years and we don't need any rescue' Franklin is clearly focused on SSC, with an emphasis on no further risk assessments once a particular activity is deemed to be safe. This isn't to say that everyone who practices SSC ignores possible risks--but it is to say that the acronym doesn't encourage active risk assessment the same way that RACK does. (Doing X is safe, therefore, I don’t think about the risks while I do X, because it’s safe.) I personally think that RACK is a more robust way to assess kink activities, but, as you can probably infer from, you know, the entirety of this fic, I take part in a lot of activities that don't fit under SSC, so I'm biased.

I do not blame Edward one bit for getting into that argument with Sir John. I do feel pretty certain that Blanky surreptitiously filmed it, though, so that he can send it to Francis. I also am pretty sure that Francis’ own stance on RACK, which comes through pretty clearly in his books, would have informed Edward’s stance as well, so, you know, full circle there. (Do you have any idea how many people you’ve informally mentored via your books, Francis? It’s *cough*JamesFitzjamesAlso*cough* a lot.)

Florentine Flogging: Here's the reference video I was using for Florentine flogging! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGCQGsxbwtw

Sharp eyes will notice that this is a very similar skillset to spinning poi, which I thought was really neat.

Line Notes:

Jopson will be back in six months to give his talk, and Edward is going to be right there in the front row to support him, and that means that nothing can go wrong this weekend.

It...doesn't actually mean that. I mean, obviously, yes, not being banned from Canada is a requirement. But not having the booth open wouldn't have killed anybody.

Irving dragged you home—please advise how, he’s half your size?

This is funnier once I did some googling and realized that Ronan Raftery is six goddamn feet tall, which makes him two inches taller than Matthew McNulty, but I decided to let Edward's inaccuracies stand because they're pretty goddamn funny. Also, I maintain that Irving gives off smol energy.

“Oh, good,” Irving says, the tension instantly melting off his face. “I’m so glad he made it to bed.”

Tozer did not make it to bed, but, tbh, I wouldn't correct Irving at this particular moment either. Especially not in front of Lady Jane Franklin.

“Who’s this, then?” Lady Franklin asks. She’s wearing a vintage dress from a decade Edward should probably recognize, but doesn’t. (Jopson would, he’s sure of it.)

The 1950s, Edward. It's literally the most easily recognizable decade.

“…he’s fine,” Edward says, more confused than ever.

Edward, Edward, Edward. Both more confused than ever--and completely unwilling to do any followup on this whatsoever, because why ask questions when instead you could eyefuck Jopson. (In a sense, though, this is Tozer's problem, so Edward's ability to disconnect from it completely is probably an improvement from, say, Edward of a few years ago.) Normally, leaving plot threads hanging like this would bother me extensively, but because I'm drafting the Tozer/Irving fic as we speak, I'm comfortable just letting all of this just hang for a bit. These plot threads are important to include because they happened, but they're not important to resolve, because Edward doesn't give a shit.

Nothing fancy—just Ned, with a little handwritten squiggle next to it that’s almost a heart, if you squint.

It's definitely a heart. Jopson just channeled the patented Francis Crozier technique of 'if I make a vague line here, people can interpret it how they want'. Not very characteristic of Jopson--but, as we discussed last week, poor boy is carting around some baggage re: his affection, so we’ll just let him have this.

It’s probably the goddamn bruise from yesterday’s fuckup. Well, that, and the fact that Tozer isn’t there. Or maybe Edward’s just fucking up something else that he’s completely unaware of.

I'd like to propose option four, which is that Edward is hot as fuck, dressed in leather, and was part of a scene that gathered a respectfully distant crowd in the dungeon the night previous. Edward is not aware that option four is an option, but I would like to reassure him that option four is, in fact, an option.

“What do you do for aftercare?” Jopson asks curiously. “Like—what did you do last night, after you walked me home?”

Bold of Jopson to assume that Edward spent two seconds looking after himself. (He won't make that mistake again--Edward's blog entry on aftercare was detailed enough that last-night!Jopson made the endorphin-blurred call that Edward had his own routine sorted, and is now finding out that Edward has no such thing.)

Edward sighs, starts to mentally assemble an apology. He’s done it again—let his guard down, said too much. The apology has never worked in the past. But he’ll have to try. There’s always a chance Edward will get it right this time, even though he’s not remotely ready for this (it was going so well), but he has to, he has to start, he’ll just—he’ll start by—saying—

In true Ed Little fashion, Edward is assuming that the reason this conversation has never gone well in the past is because of him, instead of the more rational suggestion that perhaps he's just trying to hook up with people who aren't actually compatible with him.

Jopson’s face is very pink. “Quite the mental image,” he says. He swallows, visibly. “You and Tozer were, uh. Both holding back during the demo yesterday, then.”

Ah, yes, the look and sound of a man who is rather quickly realizing that a wank fantasy he'd watched unfold in real time yesterday was actually just the tip of the iceberg.

Jopson’s eyebrows shoot up. “Why?” He scrunches his nose, frowns. “Was that meant to be a joke?”

Can't get all sad about Edward's past of attempting to have relationships with people he wasn't compatible with until we also get sad about Jopson's history, which apparently includes men he thought were tapping into his fantasies, only to find out that they were kidding. Ouch, my heart.

“Only if you want,” Jopson adds. “We could also, um. Go for a run?”

I don't believe that Jopson has ever gone for a run in his entire life. I appreciate that he's trying to help, though. That's very kind of him.

Jopson turns. “Hi, yes.”

Jopson cannot let a customer go unserviced, and I, for one, admire his dedication to looking after other people's booths as well as his own. I also think, although this action here is entirely instinctual, it's also a good checkpoint--had Edward reacted poorly to Jopson stepping in, well, that might not have been awesome. As it is, Edward is grateful, so he just keeps landing in Jopson's long-term prospect box.

“You know that huge guy they have on security?”

It's Tuunbaq! Also, Tozer should cool it on the whole "he doesn't speak English" thing, because it's not like Tozer speaks Inuktitut. (And while we're talking about Tozer, yes, he is wearing the equivalent of his mutineer hoodie.)

“And I’m like, yeah, I know him, I was drinking with him last night. And they just look at me. And they look at each other. And then the doctor guy is like ‘we had some concerning reports about his behaviour’, but I don’t know who would have said anything, the only other person there was Irving. Fuck, man, I was answering questions for an hour.”

Tozer, look, buddy. You can have a pass because you're as hungover as shit and I'm sure you've been contemplating death since you woke up, but you answered your own question there. The only other person there was Irving.

The only other person there was Irving.

One would hope that this might, you know, cause you to rethink your association with Hickey, considering that someone else's assessment of his behaviour has resulted in all of this, but I guess we'll have to chill on that for now until we get some Tozer POV.

Edward frowns. “He doesn’t drink?”

Pulled this bit directly from canon, and because I also think it's a fascinating bit of character development. Adam Nagaitis had such insights into his character in the AMC interview (https://www.amc.com/shows/the-terror/talk/2018/04/the-terror-qa-adam-nagaitis-cornelius-hickey) and I really think it's interesting working with that in a modern AU as well. So--this version of Hickey doesn't drink either. I think it's also interesting in how Edward and Tozer deal with this--Edward has known Hickey for years, and never noticed. Tozer knows--and still gets shitfaced anyways, even though he's drinking alone.

Tozer’s eyes go distant. “It’s the weirdest thing,” he says after a moment. “I think I told Irving about Heather.”

We can assume, for better or for worse, that Tozer's memory of last night is a bit spotty. I am sorry, though, that this is one of the things Tozer remembers. It's further away in kink!AU than it was in canon, but I don't imagine Heather's death was any easier for Tozer here than it was canonically.

(Also, the choreo of Tozer physically shifting Edward's hand off his arm was a late addition, and I hurt my own feelings adding it.)

Tozer raises his eyebrows, and then winces, goes back to squinting. “Hanky code,” he lectures. “Black is for S&M. Your proclivities aside, I don’t figure you meant to flag sub. And stuff it if you tell me it’s a fashion choice, I ain’t got headspace for that bullshit today.” He glances upward. “I swear they turned the fucking lights up in here, Jesus. I’ll see you after, I gotta go.”

Edward, you absolute himbo of a man. Jopson has been trying so hard, and I'm sure that you have a blog entry about hanky code buried somewhere back in your archive, but you also buried the information in your head, and thus did not access it, and all of Jopson's efforts were wasted.

“No, you misunderstand me,” Edward says. “I love that. Christ, the fuck did he finally do?”

Edward, Edward, Edward. Jopson has the right of it with his missing stair comment--but you're just as complicit as Tozer is in this, because by saying nothing and waiting for the problem to go away, you've been rubber-stamping Hickey's behaviour. I feel as though there's going to be Discussions about this in London.

“Honestly, Thomas, after all we’ve been through.” Sophia sighs, and then turns to face the table, braces her hands on the edge of it. “You know you can still call me Sophy.”

One of the things that really sucks about breakups is the part where there are ripples out into the rest of your social circle as well. I have the feeling that Jopson and Sophia might have gotten along really well--but Jopson's loyalties are with Francis, and so he's been pulling back since the most recent breakup in an effort to, you know, not hurt Francis any more than Francis is already hurt. I think it's significant that Edward is allowed to see this interaction, to be honest--because this is insight into who Jopson is as a person when he's not working or submitting.

Ross has a firm handshake, and a bright smile. He’s dressed casually—jeans, and a tshirt—and Edward feels horribly, awfully overdressed.

Edward is not appreciating casualdom!JCR nearly as much as I would like him to, and this is really, really upsetting me, because I would like to appreciate casualdom!JCR a lot.

I also really, really appreciated the opportunity to include some platonic kink here, because platonic kink is really important to me too. Sometimes you’re just in it for the experience, you know? And there’s no additional emotional or sexual connection there.

“Some kind of a multi-tailed flogger,” Edward says. “Little polished leather cord knots on the ends? Punches like a son of a—er, it’s a fairly sharp sting.”

Look, I wanted to include a reference picture for this. I did some googling. I like this style of flogger. But in the course of my googling, I found out that Walmart sells a twenty four dollar version of this in the states (I’ve since been informed it’s a third party seller BUT IT THREW ME OKAY), and I'm too Canadian to handle this, I can barely even handle American Walmarts selling alcohol, okay? So there's just. There's just no pictures. Anyways, good ball end floggers start at about two hundred Canadian, and they punch pretty fucking hard.

Good, Edward thinks. “So, the shower. I went up to the hotel room, figuring, ah. You know. Strip naked, step under the water, all that. And that’s what you should imagine, because I opened the door to our room, and...well, yeah. I’m here.”

Edward is going to need to update his dirty talk game, because this is Not Great, buddy. It's Not Great. And, let's be honest here. I'm sure you have years and years of filthy stories. You're going to need to learn how to tell them, because Jopson will appreciate and value every single one.

Phew. That's it for this week! Chapter five, Aftercare, goes up next Friday, and it is the very last chapter, can you believe. That's not it for this verse, though--I'm starting work on the Tozer/Irving story that runs parallel to this story. There's also a Fitzier that takes places in six months' time (during the winter conference). I have things to say about that Gore, Le Vesconte, and Cracroft situation. I have a story about Peglar and Bridgens. I might have some things to say about Goodsir. I could talk about Edward Little and Thomas Jopson until my tongue falls off. I just have a lot of feelings about kink, okay? And we're very lucky with The Terror because we have an extremely rich background of source material, both historical and tv show.

And if you have questions or anything in the meantime, you can always drop me an ask on tumblr or Curious Cat.

See you next week!

[beatriceinmessina]

‘Terror’ Sondheim Showtunes

A while ago, I made a post about musicals that reminded me of The Terror.  Since then I haven’t been finding more musicals that remind me of it, but songs from individual musicals that I already like, which all involve Stephen Sondheim in some capacity.  These are four of them.  Listen to them while writing fic, or when you’re in the mood to feel things about all the cold boys.  (And then listen to all the shows if you haven’t already, because Stephen Sondheim is a genius.)

- “Send in the Clowns” (A Little Night Music, music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim).  I have a whole essay in my head about why this one works perfectly for Francis and James that I will write out one day.  Until then, I will sit on my bed, screaming in my head about them at 3 A.M. and listening to it on repeat.  The canon context involves a relationship where the two people in love keep missing each other; I think it works for a relationship where the people involved don’t have enough time together as well.  

- “Somewhere” (West Side Story, music by Leonard Bernstein and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim).  This starts playing in my head every time Bridgens and Peglar have a scene, but really, it works for every single character.  A simple song about wanting to get somewhere safe and peaceful and be with the person or people you love.  Very Terror-y, I say.  (And if this show had been a musical, they could have had a full “Somewhere” dream ballet, and they should have.)  

- “Not While I’m Around” (Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim).  I think of this one as Jopson’s theme; the lyrics and even some of the original context fit him so perfectly.  But out of context, simply as a vow of protection, I think it fits the relationships in the show, when people try to keep each other safe and support each other emotionally, very well.  (In the musical version of this show in my head, Jopson sings this to Crozier, and Crozier reprises when he’s taking care of him in episode nine, and then the audience breaks down weeping.)

- “Losing My Mind” (Follies, music and lyrics by Stephen Sondheim).  This one is about the feeling more than anything: the sadness, the regret, the refrain of “It’s like I’m losing my mind.”  It’s about unrequited love but I think it also functions well as a grief song.  Watching episode nine always puts me in the mood to listen to it on repeat.

[plussizeappreciationfics]

Sixth Masterlist

AUGUST WALKER

Headcanons

* Uncovering the truth

ALEX ANDERSEN

One shots

* Die for you

ARTHUR CURRY

One shots

* Don’t want to be lonely anymore

Headcanons

* Aquaman

BEN BARNES

Headcanons

* Ruin my life

BUCKY BARNES

One shots

* Cold shoulder

Headcanons

* Special proposal

* Destiny

BRUCE BANNER

Headcanons

* Let’s talk about kids...

CHRIS EVANS

One shots:

* Bad day

* Body like a back road

* Where did I go

* Disco tits

* Boundaries

* Finally found you

* Apples pt. 2

* Famous

* Unpleasant discovery l pt. 2

* Can’t help but feel insecure

* Rehearsing lines pt 2

* Small accident

Headcanons

* Facade

* Payback

* Pleasant discovery

* Best boyfriend ever

* Pleasant mornings

* Tattoos

* Appreciation

* When you do clownery...

* Cold feet

DANIEL ATLAS

Headcanons

* Magic

DACRE MONTGOMERY

Headcanons

* Give him a chance

DEAN WINCHESTER

Headcanons

* Head over heels

* Help you out

DOMINICK CARISI JR

Headcanons

* Meeting you again

ERIK STEVENS (KILLMONGER)

One shots

*Just say it

Headcanons

* Kinky honeymoon

* First date

* Pass out

EZRA MILLER Headcanons

* Sweet tooth

FLORIAN MUNTEANU One shots

* Stressful situation

FRANCIS FREEMAN

One shots

* Oh, love l Pt. 2

HAYLEY ATWELL

One shots

* Oo se kun oot/ Be as you are

HENRY CAVILL

One shots

* Waste it on me

* Motivate

* Beautiful

JAKE GYLLENHAAL

One shots

* Happy new year l Pt. 2

* No games

Headcanons

* A little insecure

* Stick up for you

JAI COURTNEY Headcanons

* Unexpected encounter

JAKE PERALTA

* Let them know

JAMES RHODES

One shots

* Forgotten anniversary

JAX TELLER  One shots

* 7 rings

JAY PARK

Headcanons

* Exposure

JORDAN CONNOR Headcanons

* Help you out

JOHN WICK One shots

* Ashes

KURT WAGNER Headcanons

* Asked out

LIEV SCHREIBER

Headcanons

* No need to worry

LOKI LAUFEYSON ODIN

One shots

* God and monsters

Headcanons

* Taking care

* Manic episodes

MACHINE GUN KELLY

One shots

* Papi pacify

Headcanons

* Bonding

M'BAKU

Headcanons

* Jealousy

* Being shy while making love

* Anxiety attack

* Finding out your pregnant

* Taking a break

* Period

MICHAEL B JORDAN

One shots

* Busted

* Need you by my side

MILO VENTIMIGLIA

One shots

* Fail

* Date

* Don’t want to be a secret anymore

* Ungrateful reaction

* Some dirty dancing

Headcanons

* Spoiler alert

* Sweet gesture

* Sex scene

* Succeeding in keeping a low profile

* Comfort

MIN-YOONGI Headcanons

* Eventful birth

* Song for you

NEYMAR JR

Headcanons

* The right moment

* Know when when to stop

‘

NOAH CENTINEO Headcanons

* Book worms

NORMAN REEDUS

Headcanons

* Get to you

POE DAMERON Headcanons

* Bad day

ROSA DIAZ Headcanons

* Sexuality

REMUS LUPIN

One shot

* Hookup

RICHARD MADDEN

One shots

* Don’t let them get to you

Headcanons

* Only eyes for you

SAM WINCHESTER

One shots

x

x

Headcanons

* Meeting the family

* Head over heels

* Came at the s right time

SCOTT LANG

Headcanons

* Dating Scott Lang

SHELODN COOPER Headcanons

* Appreciation

SHEMAR MOORE Headcanons

* Asked out

SPENCER REID

One shot

* Thinking bout you

* Something about you

Headcanons

* Karaoke night

* Unwanted encounter

* Eating good

STEVE ROGERS

One shots

* Big mistake

* What’s my name

* Every body here wants you

* Love someone

Headcanons

* Not the right guy

SCOTT LANG

Headcanons

* Worries

TIM MCGEE

Headcanons

* Meeting the team

THOR ODINSON

One shots

* Changes

Headcanons

* Touch starved

* Lightning scars

* Self care day

TOM HIDDLESTON

One shots

* Huge mistake

* Can’t hide it anymore

* No intimidation

* Cuz I love you

* Be there for you

* Dom Tom

* Find my person

Headcanons

* Period

* Disney movie

* Support

* There for you

* All natural

* Birthday

TOM HOLLAND

Headcanons

* Interruption

* Love at first sight

TOMMY COLON

Headcanons

* Bonding

TONY STARK

One shots

* Oh, it’s on

* Truth hurts

* Bored

* I don’t disappoint

* Distance and time

WADE WILSON

Headcanons

* Puns intended

WANDA MAXIMOFF

One shot

* Choose you

WINSTON DUKE

Firsts

YON-ROGG One shots

* Betrayal

ZAC EFRON One shots

* Rewrite the songs

ZACK ADDY

Headcanons

* Confession

ZACHARY LEVI Headcanons

* Beefed up

POLY FICS

T’CHALLA & M’BAKU

* Lazy days

CHRIS EVANS & WINSTON DUKE

One shots

* One 

GROUP TEXTS

Avengers

* Gift trading gone wrong

* Don’t be embarrassed 

[wildcard47]

fanfiction year in review meme!

I stole this from @dollsome-does-tumblr​ because I was curious, and then didn’t take it seriously enough. Oh well! 

Total number of completed stories: 28

Total Word Count:  241,286. 

Which, uh. Is a lot??? And that’s just the published-on-AO3 number. Doesn’t include the written + unpublished fic or the stuff I wrote for my master’s degree.

Examples of other super long novels, to give you an idea of how much that is:

So, yeah. Half of Infinite Jest, or 1 of a bunch of those books.

Fandoms Written In:  mostly The Terror, but also Mad Men, My Fair Lady, and Good Omens. Plus a Fast & The Furious slash drabble I forgot to publish. Sorry, anyone who really ships Paul Walker/Vin Diesel! 😁

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you’d expected?:  Honestly, I assumed I would write very little fic? But somehow this engine keeps going.

What’s your own favorite story of the year? Tough one. I really like where danke schoen is headed right now, because honestly I wasn’t sure I was going to do that story justice. I also really liked awaken ancient feelings as well as once in a while – my story for the Captain & Commander zine.

Did you take any writing risks this year? I guess?? Honestly, what have I written this year (topic or taboo-wise) that I haven’t written in 2018? I’m doing more experimenting with POV and perspective, I suppose.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year?:  Just to keep writing! Apart from fic, I have to submit at least 24,000 words of creative writing for my master’s degree in the spring, but I’d like to be able to keep updating AO3 on a regular basis, too. It’s always nice to have other universes to play around in. Also my love for The Terror S1 shows no signs of dimming. #JHthirstbucket

My Best-Written Story:  IDK, y’all argue that out in the notes for me? I’m at the stage where I feel like everything is garbage. 🤘New Year’s!

Story Most Underappreciated by the Universe: since approximately 4 people care about My Fair Lady fandom activity, I suppose it’s loverly. I worked REAL HARD for that Higgins dialogue, okay?

Most Popular: here with me. Good Omens fandom by a mile.

Most Fun: Probably one of the James and/or Francis swooning fics (fool with the sound) or background noise. The latter one was just absurd, and it was a damn delight.

Most Disappointing:  What is “the major timeline-altering typo in ladder of your own design” for all my feels, Alex? Proofreading fail! Second is the Christmas fic, because I’m still vaguely annoyed/unsatisfied with it in places. Yes, it was cute, tropey, and fun, but from a production side I spent the majority of the year trying to slog it across the finish line. I’m aware that it’s mostly vignettes. I shan’t elaborate.

Most Sexy: The dressfic chronicles in oh you pretty things.

Story With The Single Sweetest Moment: I think that might actually be from fly not yet? Francis watching James get poorly-comforted by a talking parrot before James sobs into his waistcoat is.....pretty high up on that list.

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: danke schoen again! Mainly because my perception of Lane has shifted so much since I started writing the story. I think he has more nuance in my mind, and will be able to offer a few more surprises in the long run.

Biggest Surprise: The fact that I can pull off Blanky’s dialogue on-page without wanting to put myself into a medically-induced coma.

Hardest to Write: See above. Truthfully, it’s probably danke schoen, just because it requires so much intensive time/energy/research.

Most Unintentionally Telling:  Who knew I had a "dudes in drag” kink? AO3 did. Thank you, Tom Holland as Rihanna, all the James fics, and David Bowie as everything for cementing that piece of ephemera into my fanfiction oeuvre.

[safflowerseason]

May I ask for your analysis on the last 10 minutes or so of Veep? Like from when Gary takes the fall? Or do you think that singular moment begins earlier?

Ooof, Anon, do I remember enough of the Veep finale to really analyze it? I was a complete wreck the entire time. I watched the entire thing with my hands over my face, making squeaky emotional noises. I cried. I scream-laughed. I stood up from my couch and sat back down. I was a mess. 

Honestly, I have blacked out a lot of S7 in general. I barely remember the order anything happened in, between episodes or within them. I’m not saying I didn’t care about anything that was happening…but also, I didn’t really care the same way that I used to. I had to stop caring in order to enjoy the emotional experience of watching the final season of one of my favorite shows, and I had to stop caring because it was on fire. So, I just critically disconnected my brain from trying to make it all fit together, week to week, because it did not fit together. The show was, clearly, a show no longer about politics—it had stopped being about politics a long time ago—so I put the politics aside for my viewing experience and just let myself get caught up in the adrenaline rush. It was all so fast and the things that were happening were so unbelievable, it all just felt very unreal.

I think the best I can offer are my hazy impressions. 

I have written about Dan and Amy’s funeral interaction in greater detail elsewhere, mostly because I find it singularly unbelievable they did not interact for twenty four years, partly through the performances of the actors, partly through the way the scene is constructed, and partly because it’s just Mandelian nonsense. 

For me, the scene that pulled the episode together (um, sort of, insofar as any S7 episode can make sense) was the Selina/Ben scene in the hospital, which made me bawl mostly because I love Ben, and I am a sucker for Ben “parenting” Selina. (In case you haven’t read my current fic, Anon, I’m very intrigued by themes of parenting in the Veep universe). To me, it seemed to tee up the rest of the action, because Selina finally accepts what she has to do…which is, apparently, screw over everyone else left to screw over (except Kent, the other father figure…in his case, Selina crosses a line he can’t follow so he abandons her willingly.) 

Whether or not this realization that Selina has with Ben—that she can become President on her own, that she can make the hard decisions herself—is a new or noteworthy development, or even makes sense within the rest of the season is very debatable. But it’s clear that after that scene, Selina is ready to ruin Tom James’s political career forever, give away gay marriage, frame Gary, hire Jonah as VP, manipulate Amy into babysitting him for her, and do whatever else needs to be done. (She’s already gotten rid of Dan, therefore killing his significance to the plot, and Mike is…not even a relevant part of the story at this point. Wherefore art thou, Veep ensemble?)

The hospital scene is also very Godfather-esque, I suppose, and that seems to have been a major inspiration for Mandel in conceiving of Selina’s fate, and the less said about that the better. (Nothing wrong with The Godfather, but the way that (usually male) film and television writers tend to lionize it as if Francis Ford Coppola invented emotionally compelling storytelling is so boring and overdone.)

As for everything else that happened in the episode, it all just seems to slide off my brain. The Tom James twist was fundamentally distasteful, in light of MeToo and the Kavanaugh hearings (also a similar thing happens in the West Wing S6 finale, where a popular politician emerges from nowhere to garner on the ground support during a convention, and then gets smeared out of the race…although in that case, the allegations were that his wife had depression). The Gary stuff was sad, but predictable and also, again, completely absurd. Does Gary even know enough about the Meyer Foundation to credibly convince the FBI that he was the corrupt mastermind behind it all? Is that where all the Bibles came into the picture? You can see I did not care very much about putting all the political details together, because as a political satire, a story that seeks to convey fundamental truths about politics as an institution and the people who work in those institutions, Veep S7 is a complete failure. 

I’m not sure that really answered your question, Anon! Eeek. But the Selina/Ben scene was the one that has stuck with me the most, and that I feel most comfortable analyzing without going back and rewatching the episodes. And I guess I am saying that the ending of the episode takes off from there, or at least you can make an argument that it does. 

[liketonybutwithane]

Guys, I haven’t written anything in nine(ish) years. My will to write has been all but squashed out of me.  

But then Good Omens happened and I’m having all these little brain children that are probably some of the same ones the rest of the fandom are having, but if there’s something I have learned in life it’s “if you don’t write it down, you’re gonna forget it!”

So yeah, I wrote these down. 

HP!Good Omens

Aziraphale is a Syltherin pureboood with a distinct interest in muggle theology that he only indulges at Hogwarts

When he was young, his paternal aunt fell in love with, courted and married a Muslim muggleborn witch and she is the one who cultivated his interests. Having no one else to confide in, she told young Aziraphale about her love and how her family studied and followed the 'lord of the skies.' Aziraphale has copies of the Torah, the Qur'an, the Tripitaka, and both the King James Bible and Catholic Bible in his school trunk (the covers are transfigured to look like older spell book editions).

Aziraphale isn't technically allowed to communicate with his aunts, but he does it anyway. He's never understood with the big deal was. Aunt Ophelia basically raised him; why shouldn't he be allowed to speak with her whenever he wants?

He routinely writes to his Aunts Ophelia and Hafiza - they send him presents at Christmas and he always remembers to (with the help of Crowley) convert his wizard galleons into muggle money to send his Aunt Hafiza his donation for her mosque at Eid al-Fitr.

Crowley is a half-blood Hufflepuff. A bundle of sass and snark wrapped in a crispy coating with an ooey-gooey soft-hearted center and a loyalty streak that rivals the length of the Thames river.

Snake animagus Crowley, just imagine - Pseudechis porphyriacus, the red-bellied black snake. He's just so proud of his animagus form!

Raised by a partially-practicing Catholic muggle and pureblood witch, Anthony "Just Crowley!" Crowley knows his catechisms and (most of the important) saints but not much else. He still manages to impress Aziraphale with his St. Christopher (patron saint of travelers) and St. Albert the Great (patron saint of students) medals.

Crowley adores Herbology and Charms. He gets good marks on his Care of Magical Creatures O.W.Ls and of course, nearly gives his Professor a heart attack when he asks if he could raise a basilisk for extra credit?

He keeps to Aziraphale's side when he has rows with his parents. He tells his mum about the glassy hard stares the Slytherins give him when he walks to classes with Aziraphale and knows deep in his heart that Aziraphale is catching all kinds of hell for siding with "that loud-mouthed Hufflepuff who can't pick a side." 

I just have a lot of feelings about Hufflepuff!Crowley and Slytherin!Aziraphale.

NOTE: I know next-to-nothing about Islam or Catholicism and googled and wikipedia’d what is referenced here. If I am wrong or flubbed something, I beg of you, please correct me! Thank you!

~

Ballet&Ballroom!Good Omens

~ Crowley = a danseur working hard to keep his place in [Europe's equivalent to Julliard?] BUT also struggling in keeping himself alive and housed by working the only way he can think of and using his skills

He works as an under-the-table exotic dancer 5 nights a week

He is cheated more often than not by the shifty club owner but it's still more than he could make anywhere else so he keeps his mouth shut and takes the money

He dances as a female persona; his gorgeous lace-front wig (only one or two shades off from his natural hair color) and lace and silk lingerie are some of the most expensive and well cared-for things he owns (aside from his dancewear, obviously)

He only dances - no private shows, no client requests, nothing that could possibly compromise his identity and thus his place at school

~ Aziraphale = a fair-to-middling ballroom competition dancer from a wealthy family who accidentally trods on his partners toes once or twice but always apologizes profusely

Naturally, Aziraphale has no rhythm. (He knows the mechanics and kinesiology of the ballroom dances but can't make his limbs cooperate.) The only way he is as good as he is now is because he learned to keep time with iambic pentameter in his head. Mostly Shakespeare, but he hasn't told a soul - and he probably never will.

He enjoys dancing. He can keep time by retelling himself the great works of Shakespeare or Milton or Chaucer. It’s his dance partners who he finds lacking. They are haughty and pinch-faced. This should be fun! 

For some possibly (hysterical? ungodly? trippy?) reason [omg, Gabriel is totally shitfaced in the men’s room , Aziraphale ends up at Crowley’s club and that goes about as well as expected, what with the blushing, stammering and exaggerated averted gaze. That is until he first glimpses Crowley (as his dancer persona) and, as a student of kineisology and someone who has fought tooth and nail to control his own limbs, is floored by the mastery of control and discipline the dancer on stage displays over their body.

Aziraphale is mildly besotted, to say the very least...

~ 

High school!Good Omens

This is just me wanting to have Nanny Ashtoreth and Brother Francis play parents to Aziraphale.

Aziraphale is the only child to missionary-religious-scholars. They were less interested in raising the child and more in there efforts of spreading the ‘word,’ so Nanny and Brother Francis in essence raised him.

Mostly Aziraphale dealing with benign neglect from his biological parents and Crowley dealing with hardships and grief from either shitty foster homes or being some kind of scholarship student in a boarding school for old-money families. 

(I know, I always put Crowley in shitty situations! I’m sorry!)

~ 

I really wanted to write a fic where God chooses to inhabit a human to express Her approval of Aziraphale and Crowley.

At first, Aziraphale was a little cautious of the street performer taking up residence across from his shop. But she simply sings (quite well, mind you) and plays her instrument from roughly 10 to 5 every day then goes about her way.

The song I really wanted to focus on is Sinners by Lauren Aquilina. [x]

Like:

Aziraphale is sitting with Crowley in companionable silence and the lyrics drift over him. And he listens.

Then he feels the need to get up and look out the stop door. There, he sees it. Faintly, through the shine of sun beams and dust motes and drifting London smog, are wings. Multitudes of feathers and shining eyes and Aziraphale can't look away. His eyes slide to look the woman in the face and he can feel tears begin to creep from crease of his eyes to trickle down his face.

Her voice rumbles through him, as gentle and powerful and awe-inspiring as it had been at the wall, "Aziraphale." He can barely catch the breath he doesn’t even need.

And the woman glances up from her instrument and Aziraphale gasps. She smiles as though she heard him. The woman strums one last note on her instrument, inclines her head in a gracious nod and then is gone.

Crowley appears from somewhere behind Aziraphale, and asks what's gotten him so upset. Aziraphale splays a hand over his own chest, above his pounding heart, and sighs tearily. Then he half-turns and crushes Crowley in a tight hug. "Nothing. Nothing at all, my dear."

[notasapleasure]

Sunday six: meta edition

“Now,” the Master rested his beautiful hands on top of the curve of his guitar. He regarded the inscrutable, light-free area that contained an audience with lowered lids and an air of patient boredom. “It’s only fair that you get to pick the next one, and we’ll carry on like that: I’ll choose, then you choose. I can play for as long as you have suggestions, and then none of us will feel we’ve had a wasted night.”

A female voice called out from somewhere near “Big Love!”

Because I should be able to post the whole fic for you all very soon, I thought I’d offer something else this weekend. Lymond characters in the band AU: inspiration, influences, and how I’m imagining them. Not all of them appear in the prequel I’ve nearly finished, but I hope my interest in writing this holds out for me to get to all of them eventually...

1. Jerott Blyth In Checkmate post-Calais revelry brings out the drunken singer in Jerott; I got the distinct impression that he didn’t have a beautiful voice. It seems a bit unfair to carry this over to the band AU, because he’s canonically a match for Francis in so many things (horsemanship, archery, hand-to-hand combat etc), so he can sing in this universe, but his real skill is as a guitarist. I see him as a natural second guitarist or session musician: someone who can play anything, but Christ don’t ask him to write his own lyrics. Like, he wouldn’t necessarily come up with this on his own, he might be raised to it by Francis, but he could certainly play it. He’s going to love Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan’s guitar. Vocally, I imagine him as ‘loud but unsophisticated’, along the lines of a young James Dean Bradfield (well, Dorothy does say he has the lung capacity of an ox).

2. Kate Somerville The Somervilles are folk royalty, like the Watersons. I imagine Kate’s voice a bit softer than Norma’s though, more gentle, like Kate Rusby, and she sings with accompaniment as well as without. Flaw Valleys is a great rambling place with an abundant vegetable garden, an old dining hall that’s been converted to a stage, and plenty of spare rooms for waifs, strays, and those who didn’t really notice the ‘70s pass them by. Essentially, it’s very like if Collow Abbey had survived a few more decades. I’m not sure what’s up with Gideon yet, he’s not going to have the influence of Martin Carthy, though he is still a competent musician also.

3. Philippa Somerville A bit of an Eliza (daughter of Norma and Martin), of course! I imagine her main instrument being the fiddle, but she’s grown up in a house full of musicians of all stripes, and she can play damned near anything if she sets her mind to it. I also imagine young Philippa (PiF age probably) sounding quite like Bella Hardy. I think her voice will mellow a bit when she’s older, and of course she will have the confidence of someone raised in a house where everyone sang all the time, though she’ll need to discover her own style. She finds rock’n’roll perplexingly needy as a genre, but she’s not as traditional a folkie as her parents. It takes her a Very Long Time to forgive mum’s friend for that time he got really high, brought a friend who’d OD’d round, and played her father’s lute by the bedside.

4. Marthe TORI AMOS OR BUST. Ok, there’s also a bit of Laura Marling in there when you get her alone with her acoustic. She mainly plays piano and guitar, and she sings ballads made famous by her biological father (you know who I mean) in an all-girl covers group, and she does not change the pronouns. In canon she has quite a thin voice, I think? Not unpleasant, but maybe not as naturally powerful as it should be to match the rest of her personality (I always read it as an aspect of her feelings of inadequacy and frustration with what life hands her, but it is only one scene I’m thinking of here, I may be reading too much into it). I think she hangs around jazz clubs and does a lot of collaborative stuff she claims not to care about just for the money, but she’d really love to pursue her own music. She didn’t get much support from that record agent she dated though, and now Kiaya is helping Lymond of all people... But Jerott wants to do something to help! It doesn’t, really, but their covers of Fleetwood Mac are incredible.

5. Archie Abernaci Look he’s not pretending, he really is the Punjabi Punk from Paisley. He plays the drums when he’s not holding down his job at Edinburgh Zoo, and, like his foster brother Turkey Mat, he looks scary but wouldn’t hurt a fly - they’re early straight edge antifa punks basically. I feel like he probably has a menagerie of pets who would hurt you, though. While it may be tradition for the drummer to be a reprobate, Francis needs one sensible person in the band, and Archie will follow the tradition of Gary from the Libs, and Gemma from early Babyshambles. They just like hitting things hard and having some fun! Nah man, they’re high on the music!

6. Francis Crawford of Lymond Oh god, who isn’t he influenced by? Certainly not his grandfather, who he shares his name and talents with, that’s for sure - he refuses to listen to those records. Bowie, obviously. But I think he’s willing to listen to and play versions of damned near anything, he’s a total magpie as he searches for his own unique voice. There’s a lot of stuff in the introduction to this book I’m reading that’s helping me with Francis: ‘Voices I respect sound themselves’; ‘rock is strongest when it challenges something [...] what I wanted to explain was what the women rock singers I admired were doing with the wall of maleness they encountered’. Dorothy says she wanted to write a classical hero set in the Renaissance; the connection between classical heroes and modern rock music is something Ruth Padel writes about. Francis has to navigate that, but I think rather than being the pinnacle of rock star heroism according to the masses, he needs to figure out how to meet his own potential. Authenticity is everything, right? Anyway here are some other things I imagine him playing:

Bowie - Rock’n’Roll Suicide

MC5 - The American Ruse

Fairport Convention - Si Tu Dois Partir

Buzzcocks - Orgasm Addict

Dylan - You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go

Fleetwood Mac - Big Love

Pete Seeger - Raggedy

Elton John - Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

It’ll get more folky as it goes on, I think, starting when he comes back to Scotland to confront his family... He’s definitely got a healthy respect for the troubadours and classic guitar heroes: Leonard Cohen, Robert Johnson, Leadbelly, Davey Graham, Django Reinhardt, and his contemporary, Nic Jones. And it’s a fruitful period of history for the protest song...

[lafiametta]

Only one week to go before the celebration begins!

Just a reminder that the 12 Days of Carnivale celebration will start one week from today, on December 13th! In case you’ve somehow missed them, here are the themed prompts for each of the twelve days:

Day 1 (Dec 13): “a special disguise” Day 2 (Dec 14): “state of grace” Day 3 (Dec 15): “naughty or nice” Day 4 (Dec 16): “an unexpected gift” Day 5 (Dec 17): “a private performance” Day 6 (Dec 18): “fire and ice” Day 7 (Dec 19): “sledge ride” Day 8 (Dec 20): “a time of miracles” Day 9 (Dec 21): “by candlelight” Day 10 (Dec 22): “in hot water” Day 11 (Dec 23): “a long winter’s night” Day 12 (Dec 24): be inspired by the fandom-created wish list!

At this point, more than half of the items on the wish list have been claimed, which is wonderful, but we really would love to see all of them get claimed (and completed and posted) by the last day of the celebration! Below the cut, we’ve listed all the wish list items once more (the ones already claimed are struck-through), with the hope that the rest will be claimed very soon. Again, if you’re planning on making something from the wish list, please let @arcticelves know via ask or message. If you’re inspired by one of the wish list items that has already been claimed and you’d still really like to make something for it, again, please let @arcticelves know, but at this point we really would like to encourage people to take on some of those unclaimed items! 

As always, please be sure to tag all your posts #12daysofcarnivale. And if you’re posting works to AO3, we sure would love for you to also post it to the 12 Days of Carnivale collection!

All the wish list items (claimed and unclaimed) can be found below the cut:

@arcticelves: “I'd like to request a moodboard based on the premise that Edward survived and has gone on to be captain of his own ship.”

@thomasblanky: “anything with crozier and blanky, tho i’d Prefer fic or art, and no specific rating….. or joplittle”

@a-living-breathing-shitpost: “I would LOVELOVELOVE to see someone do something (I don't even care what medium, art, fic, gifset, whatever) to kind of juxtapose Crozier in ep. 1 talking about how "close is nothing, it's worse than nothing" with Little in ep. 10 whispering "Close" to Crozier as he dies??”

@brown-grey-skies: “Lt. Irving singing Christmas carols. Alternatively. Lt. Irving trying(And maybe failing) to lead a choir.”

@worshipthesquid: “I don't mind very much as to the format - fics, gifs and art all good - but I would love to see something with all the doctors (and medical staff) together, maybe with the addition of Bridgens. Perhaps even for a Christmas meal! Angst is fine and so is shameless friendship/cohabitation fluff. Preferred rating gen, I guess!”

@graduatedpillowmonster: “For the wishlist I'd like to see a fic or fanart about our Frozen Bois being happy. I'd love to see something with a "found family" dynamic , with Crozier being an absolute dad to the Terror officers :D it can be canon or modern AU, any rating, just give me some happiness!”

@wildcard47: “I am dying for a Crozfitz romcom-style fic and/or moodboard to go along with it. They can have any occupation you want (is Francis a weird craftsman who James has to interview for work? Is James an ambitious sous chef while Francis is grumpy house manager of The Franklin? You decide!) Either way, give me those sweet B-list tropes. I'll also accept gossipy friend brunches on the side as these two idiots fall in love.”

@hangingfire: “either art or short fic based on this famous (within the fandom at least) passage from Fitzjames's letters: "Goodsir is catching the most extraordinary animals in a net, and is in ecstasies. Gore and Des Voeux are over the side, poking with nets and long poles, with cigars in their mouths, and Osmar laughing; he is really an original, and a delightfully dry fellow."”

@acutewinnipegosis: “Prompt: "The northern lights have seen strange sights".”

@berenswick: “I want to see a scenario where Silna interacts with Sophia and/or Lady Jane in some capacity.”

@glorioustidalwavedefendor: “You know that scene at the end of the Return of the King? The "You bow to no one" Scene? Something like that, but for our boys or just one of them would be awesome.” No preference as to format.

@henrylevesconte: “For the christmas exchange could I maybe get a gifset of henry le vesconte pls”

@amisssunbeam: My fic prompt: Crozier (BSI – before self-intervention) has a topdaddy/bottom relationship with a grateful and extremely compliant Jopson.  Somehow (as these things happen) Fitzjames finds out, and, surprise!, he wants Crozier as his super-kinky topdaddy too!  So both Fitzjames and Jopson get the daddy they need, and Crozier, much to his great pleasure, has the two most beautiful men on the expedition as his lovers!  It's possible that frocks are involved, or at least long nightshirts.” Requests an E rating.

@lafiametta: “It’s a long shot, as I know we don’t have a ton of video-makers in the fandom, but I would seriously die for a video set to Dido’s “My Lover’s Gone.” It’s a (heartbreaking) song about a man being lost at sea, so you could take it however you wanted, either focusing on all the men of the crew or maybe just on one or more of the canon/fanon pairings.”

@succession: “An gen fic centering on Tom Hartnell. Here's an idea, but you can do whatever you want: how did he cope with the loss of his brother so early into the expedition? Any rating, any length.”

@lonecrone: “Hickey/Gibson modern AU happy healthy relationship story! Dunno about the rating, use your discretion. <3”

@full-of-terrors: “Bridgens/Peglar having some alone time for sex, cuddling and having some book discussion pillow talk, can be during The Terror or a flashback, any media format.”

@kiraling88: “I'd like to propose some kind of Crozier and Jopson father-son moment :) I love them both so very much!”

[All wish list items have been claimed! Great work, Terror fandom!]