#ALSO I always forgot to post about it but it cannot be a coincidence that the crazy unpredictable cruel general
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creature-once-removed · 2 years ago
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lunarsilkscreen · 2 years ago
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Climate Change and the Ozone [reference link]
Today, all the search engines yield results for the depleted ozone layer that say something akin to "Cuz UV radiation causes skin cancer". What is UV radiation--you might be asking; it's sun light.
My mother, when I was growing up, explained: "We open the curtains in the daytime to let the sunlight in so it kills the dust mites."
I'm not gonna go into what can cause skin cancer, a lot of people suggest it's sunscreen (or other lotions) especially HIGH UV protection sunscreen. (30 proof or less kids)
Sunlight gives off all colors of light, including that which we cannot see: Infrared, Ultraviolet (UV), and beyond.
It also creates heat, and that's the same mechanism that can give you a good tan, or burn depending on how close to Finland your racial origin is.
Ozone is like Oxygen except that it has an extra Oxygen molecule. This makes it [Heavy Oxygen] and unlike typical oxygen, can kill you if you breathe it in because your body cannot turn it into Oxygen.
You can make Ozone with a high voltage electrolysis process (not to be confused with the hair removal process electrolysis (Similar, but much lower levels) OR with UV Light. 🤔 ⚛️ (Baked Oxygen)
It can also be made with industrial or laser printing. (Which significantly helped speed up the ozone recovery process.)
So, when I was growing up, the big news at the time was "how do we close the Ozone layer, because it's causing global cooling." And everybody was worried about the next Ice Age and return of the wooly mammoths. (And led to the creation of the extreme skiing movie: Day after Tomorrow)
So when people are confused as to what "climate change" means, you tell them about global warming and people older than I think "Global Cooling?" They forgot about the Ozone layer.
The reason they felt this way is because Ozone is a "Green House Air Molecule"--gas sounds to similar to ⛽, so I changed it. As well as lessening UV radiation, it also *increases* the [Green House Effect]. Which means that it keeps the solar radiation that *does* pass through the atmosphere inside longer, and thus helps to keep the planet warm from the unforgiving vacuum of space.
By 1987 (👋) Scientists had identified the cause of Ozone depletion as Chlorofluorocarbons (CFCs)--which is what we used for aerosol sprays at the time, and 56 countries had signed the "Montreal Protocol" which was an agreement to cutdown the production of CFCs and similar [ozone depleting chemicals].
And so, great news everyone--By increasing our dependence on office printers and cutting our dependence on CFCs: we caused global warming. (I made some accusations in an earlier post about global warming itself having happened before with detrimental effects in BC sometime, AND it being recorded by humans in literature that can be found in Chinese Texts like gilgamesh, as well as the bible, and there are some stones in Japan marking extreme weather indicators based on shore level. (Completely not gonna reference it, you should do research yourself instead of just taking *my* word for it.)
The Ozone layer is due to be completely restored to pre-1984 levels in 2050~ish. Compare the scales of ozone restoration to that of the timeline of global warming, and you'll see they coincide.
Now, the real reason we care about global warming is because it's *higher* than what it was during the industrial revolution. When we were doing much more environmentally adverse warming and polluting. But, you know the pollution was gonna kill us by killing the Ozone . Now, we're going to be suffocated by the ozone keeping the pollution in here, with us. (Throw away joke, the pollution was *always* in here with us.)
So; what, if anything should we do? Should we even worry about it? Does anybody *actually* enjoy cold weather anyway? Why *should* we protect Florida and not just allow the gators to takeover Alabama and Georgia? Two birds one stone IMO.
Well. Stop using printers, for one. The world is digital now, and we need to lower our dependence on oil based products. (Plastic printers and plastic toner my friends)
The resulting paper reduction will also decrease paper production, and cause a pollution deduction from the environment-uction.
Then we can use those ink jet printer materials for better electronics.
We could ramp up CFC production if we *really* find ourselves in a pinch.
We could reduce the production of fecal gasses created from unsanitary farming conditions. (That's a whole thing in itself that I won't get into here.)
Decrease production of food material (like breads and cereals) by factories, and just let people make it themselves. (This one is controversial, because how will people be able to make money to buy food to feed themselves if they're not making cereals for the pervert we know as Tony the Tiger? That's an economic question that should be answered with: why don't more people just work on farms for their income?)
Anyway, trying to prevent all the UV radiations from turning white people into golden brown marshmallows is racist AF* and I won't stand for it.
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natgoodmans · 2 years ago
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Okay sending you another ask to freak out about 1989 Taylors Version with you!!! I kinda forgot about the show last night and that we were supposed to be clowning..and I wasn't on my phone much so I didn't see when she was displaying the blue outfits and stuff. I thought it would be kinda soon and was maybe expecting an announcement at the end of this month..but it gives me more to be excited for! I also kinda forgot it was the last show for now but it makes sense why she would want to announce it there. I saw a Taylor Nation went live notification and freaked out! The first thing I actually saw on Insta was the cover of Emily Henrys new book and apparently they are also making Meet Me at the Lake into a movie I guess. Then I went to Taylors page and it said the photo was posted only a minute ago. I know other people following or at the show knew earlier but that's one of the only times I've been that early in an announcement lol. Also the fact that it has the same original release date!!! This is also her first album cover where she's actually smiling which is something I never even noticed or thought about before now. I love the cover and think it might be my new favorite next to Red TV. I like that she actually has sky blue in the cover since before..I usually thought of the color as more white or beige lol. Midnights is also blue and white too. It seems kinda uneven that this one has the title and the others didn't though but there must be a reason. Also what she said about the vault songs..and the new Polaroid's and the colors makes me more excited too! Even if there is only 5 vault songs this time compared to six. Who would you want her to collab with? Also my musical blog is wickedsweeneyfromsantafe..which combines four of my favorite musicals lol and I just never changed it. My main blog is gwen-stace like from the Amazing Spiderman and my Taylor blog is queenofmyhearrts I think..cuz she is the queen of my heart. I have a very specific way of postinglike one theme a day on my blogs for some reason and I don't have personal posts or anything. My main blog includes movies and shows and my sideblogs are like a way to keep track of things for me I guess..like with Taylor's career and musicals I watch or see and all edits and gifs I like. The only reason I send on anon is cuz my messages get long but follow if you want!
i cannot wait for 1989 (taylor's version)!! what track(s) are you most excited for, aside from the vault tracks? i personally am most excited for you are in love, new romantics, wonderland, clean and style! and eee — i really like the uk cover for funny story (the new emily henry)! i'm debating on just preordering it from waterstones, because i really don't like hardback covers for romances. and that's so so exciting that it was posted right when you saw it — what a coincidence! i really love that she's smiling in the cover; i've seen a lot of people comment on how they don't like specific things, but i love it and the fact that she's so smiley in it makes me so happy !! i've always associated 1989 with a light beige/tan color (and debut with light blue), but i do love the blue for it! there are so many people i'd like her to collab with, but i think she's been leaning more towards artists that she was influenced by during that era in terms of collabs — i was thinking of haim, since they opened for her on 1989 tour but i don't know if she'd collab with them again given gasoline and no body no crime. what about you? who would you want her to collab with? and i just followed you on all three blogs 🤍 !! we can keep talking on anon if you'd like, or we can talk in dms; totally up to you! xx
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bluejaystory · 4 months ago
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(Forgot to mention in my last post the title of it is Raptured Heart. Here’s Pt 2 of the 1st chapter. When I finish posting the 1st chapter I’m going to title them properly)
Pt 2 of Ch 1
"Leave her alone! You three are out of line! Back away from her now or things get ugly!" He said with a quick crack of his knuckles.
Lacy and her squad ran off with their tails between their legs as the jock came over to me in concern.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah I'm fine. Dunno what I'm going to do about my library book though."
I said as I pulled out the now torn apart poetry book that the librarian is going to skin my hide with if she found it in this condition.
"God it's ruined. We could always report this to the principal since they ruined school property. Get them to pay back for damages."
"Nah they would never believe it. The books being damaged just for laughs is quite common here. They would probably think I did this on purpose and make my dad pay for it."
"Really? That's not fair. There has to be something- Wait hold on! I got an idea!"
Next thing I knew he brought me the exact copy he remembered seeing hidden away inside of an old locker inside one of the gym storage rooms. He explained he found it by complete coincidence when he knocked it open after wrestling with one of his buddies just because.
We carefully took off the check out card holder inside the book and glued it onto the new book. I wrote the dates as close to the old text as possible and slipped it into my bag like the incident never happened.
"Thank you. You really saved my hide."
"No problem. Names Dennis by the way. Dennis Kim. It's Korean. I am also a senior."
"Octavia Spencer. I'm a senior as well."
I smiled bashfully as I shook his hand.
"Nice to meet you Octavia. I hope to see you around and good luck with the switcheroo."
"The switcher- Oh heh heh ha ha. Yeah don't worry about it. I'm going to properly dispose of the 'evidence."
"I'll leave you to it. Seeya around Octavia?"
"Seeya around Dennis."
He gave me a wave and a smile before walking away with his school bag and gym bag tucked over his shoulder. Wow he's strong. I quickly snapped my head out of the clouds before I thought of something even more embarrassing and headed over to the library to hand in the replacement book. I tossed the damaged one in the garbage bin before I left the gym.
~
"Hey dad."
I said as I happily climbed into the car and quickly slipped on the seat belt.
"Hi sweetie, how was your day?" Dad said as he drove us out of the school parking lot.
"Well I returned my library book and I made a friend. Sort of."
"That's nice. What's her name?"
I groaned to myself quietly as I was dreading the massive volcano that was about to erupt.
"It's a he."
Dad braked the car almost instantly and turned his head to yell at me so fast it made me flinch in surprise.
"What did I tell you about boyfriends?!"
Oh yeah I forgot to mention that's also why I never had a boyfriend, because I barely had any chances to even talk to a guy let alone a relationship.
"We're not dating! I literally just met him today! Now can you drive the car home please?! Cars are honking at us!"
Dad shook his head in disappointment before continuing driving us down the street. The short silence after was almost defeaning. God the tension was so thick.
"Octavia. What is one of the rules I gave you sweetheart?"
"No activities and or games that can strain my heart. Excercise lightly and eat green foods. And absolutely under no circumstance date a boy because if he breaks my heart that could strain my heart worse than it already is."
"Yes. Now I don't see a problem with you being just friends since I know you don't have any."
"Dad!"
I yelled aghast as I swatted his shoulder and made him chuckle a little.
"Hey let me finish."
"Okay? Where's the 'but?'"
"But, you absolutely cannot date him. Okay?"
"Yes sir..."
"What's his name?"
"Dennis Kim. He's Korean."
"Alright okay. Is he in sports or something like that?"
"He's in basketball I think but listen I really don't know much about him. Like I said we just met today. But he also defended me from Lacy Landgraab so I see some courtesy from him."
"Sounds like a decent kid. If you get his number you should bring him around the house so I can meet him properly."
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yn-x-animeboy · 4 years ago
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Jungkook x y/n (as a famous artist) Pt. 1
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request: mine, my brain made me write this
pairing: reader x Jungkook
genre: fluff, romance, for entertainment purposes
BTS x Fem Reader
sinopsis: You are a popular artist in America, pretty famous, loved and well-known by the general public (actually you were one of the top 10 artists in the world but you are pretty humble and naïve to realize your popularity), one day during one of your fan meets you talk about how much you love BTS, and not only how you wish to meet them and work with them but how Jungkook is one of your celebrity crushes. During the meet you fangirled with other ARMYs in the crowd; video clips of you fangirling and talking about BTS at your meet where posted and reposted all over social media. This obviously broke the internet because you were not only a famous singer but you also were always accepted and loved by ARMY and this made a lot of people happy. Suddenly it felt like everyone wanted you to meet the seven handsome and talented idols and collaborate, but you could only wish, you believed they didn't even know who you were...or so you thought.
Pt. 1- Introduction. Your fan meet
Basically every couple of months you like to organize small get-togethers with your supporters as a way to have a closer contact with them, to get to know them, as a fanservice and to just thank them in a way. Lately you have been noticing one specific group of fan pages dedicated to you who have been really interactive and supportive on twitter; 
promoting your latest music video and the recent EPISODE of: y/n’s camera roll uploaded to your oficial platforms (your team uploaded a weekly video=episode to your channel; almost like Run BTS. Each episode had a different theme and your fans loved it)  this group of fan pages is constantly on your main page, so you decided to contact them and fly them out for a day in L.A. for one of your infamous meets so you could meet them.
You don't normally film your fan meetings, they are normally just a one on one gatherings between you and your fans,  but your team thought it could be a good idea to record today’s meet and upload parts of it for your weekly EPISODE, these were greatly appreciated by your international fans and other fans who wanted to see a little more into your personal life.
You were currently hanging out with the small group of fans you invited over. A group of around 10 boys and girls were currently sitting on the fluffy carpeted floor and some were sitting on plush chairs randomly spread in front of you. (a/n i imagine this setting like the Zach Sang Show, for the Ariana Grande interview episodes) 
You were sitting in front of them on a small white couch for two. Once everyone was comfortably settled in, you introduced yourself and invited the others to do so as well, one by one telling you their name, username, pronouns, age, and fun facts about them. You smiled wide, happy to be able to meet such amazing people and also making mental notes to remember their names and facts. 
After the personal introductions your camera crew was set up and ready to start, you told your fans sitting in front of you about how today's meet was going to be recorded and asked for their consent to upload said video; and then proceed to open for the camera; 
“Hello everyone welcome to another episode of…. f** I don't even know what we call these videos, jajajaja” 
Your fans sitting in front of you stated the name of the youtube series in a heartbeat;
“Wait what?... jajajajaja omg guys thank you, I'm so sorry, yeah you heard them, welcome back to y/n’s camera roll, I can’t believe I forgot that, anyway today’s episode is a little different……” you proceed to explain what the episode was about and thanking the future viewers for tuning in and watching the video. “Waw what a long introduction, so, before we actually go on and have the meet while you guys at home enjoy, I want to introduce you to the lovely group of people who I have invited here today….” Again proceed to introduce your fans to the camera by name, trying to not miss anyone and not butcher any name in the process.
After the introduction is done you porcede to carry out the fan meet like you normally do, you normally have scheduled sections of activities during your meets to make them fun; For today’s meet you all played games and did a couple challenges with your fans; then you recorded a couple of tik toks and instagram stories your fans asked you to be in, and casually all hung out. After a while of comfortable chatting and laughter, you wanted to hype up the mood. You turned down the lights, turned on some color  LED lights and had a dance party with everyone invited, dancing and going all out to popular music.
After being all drained from the heavy physical activities, you ordered a variety of food for your fans, like pizza and pasta, sushi, tacos, snacks, etc. and had a muckbang/eating section for the episode as well.
You were having so much fun, you looked around while eating and just by looking at their excited and happy faces you couldn help but feel complete and thankful for all of your fans.
After filling up on food, you carried out the Q&A section of the meet, allowing fans to ask you personal questions and conversing on various topics. The camera director gave you instructions to proceed with the questions, you nodded and thanked him and the staff for their hard work, turning on your heel and sitting back in your spot you tuned to the main camera: “Hi, quick update, sorry I haven't been so interactive with the camera in this episode for everyone watching at home, but I have been having so much fun and I am not used to having a camera crew for my normal fan meets, I’m sorry. Anyway now we will move on, I am going to answer some questions and hopefully this is entertaining enough  for the EPISODE hahaha” the crew and fans present chucked as you finished the small interruption.
And the questions began. A girl sitting in the back, raised her hand and spoke; “yeah um, I’m sorry I wanted to  see if I could start the questions, idk if the others are okay with that”. The rest of the group nodded sweetly at her, others replied with short “yeah’s”. She then proceeded nervously “thankyou g-guys, um I’m sorry before my question, is there anything we cannot ask you or..?
You sweetly smiled at her shyness and consideration, you tried your best to make her comfortable, “You are so cute, hahaha, thankyou for being considerate, but I really can’t think of anything that I am not allowed to answer or talk about, let me ask my manager...do I Sam?” you shifted your upper body to the side where the crew was standing, your manager Sam shook his head, you don't really have any tea to be spilled anyway so he is pretty confident and comfortable allowing you to be 100% in control. 
“Okay if Sam says it’s cool, it's okay  jajaja. You can ask me anything”
The girl then proceeded to ask her question, and waited for you to answer.
Time went by, and it was pretty cool to see what your fans were interested in learning about you, after some time the group continued asking you questions like “who is your biggest inspiration? favorite song?, favorite thing about being on tour? what would you do if you weren't a singer? etc.
One of the boys in the group spoke; “Hi, y/n, can I ask you another question?” you nodded and signaled him to proceed; 
“I saw that you liked an instagram post about BTS a while back uploaded by a fan account and I also saw that you actually follow their personal twitter account. ALSO in your behind the scenes video for your music video shoot you can be seen in the background dancing the Boy with luv choreo. So I wanted to ask if you were an ARMY and if you know them personally? and like should we be expecting a collaboration soon?”
You chucked at his talking speed, curious questions and great detective skills.
 Before you answered you mentally told yourself to hold back and not go all cRAzY fAnGirL on them, you inhaled and answered:
“OMG hahaha I love you so much, what an amazing question, Okay so first off no I don’t know them personally and sadly no plans of collaboration are on sight. Oh wow I have never been asked if I liked BTS before, I’m excited hahaha. Yeah I am an ARMY, I love them so much I am one of their biggest fans, and they are also one of my biggest inspirations when it comes to work ethic and professionalism, listening to them or watching them gives me motivation to keep doing what I love, which is this. 
anyway I am rambling I should stop; you guys can say y/n stop whenever I start rambling okay? hahaha''
The group in front of you laughed and added some extra comments on your response.
After a couple comments back and forth you realized something… and asked out loud, 
“Wait so, how many of you guys here are actually ARMYs?”, 
all of the sudden the 10 fans sitting in front of you raised their hands. 
“So you guys are telling me literally everyone of you is a fellow ARMY and didn't tell me until now?” everyone chuckled and looked around surprises at the coincidence 
You were already feeling shy after talking so much about yourself before so you redirected the activity, “Guys should we actually talk about BTS for a bit? hahaha” you asked your fans
This made a girl raise her hand and ask: “Can I ask you a BTS question then? Okay so, who is your favorite member?
You loved the new conversation topic. You answered truthfully: “Well first off, I don't have a favorite member. I really mean it when I say this. I love them all equally and I love them all as a group. I don’t prefer one over the other or like one better.  I really do support them equally. I mean there is nothing wrong with having a bias, as long as you also respect the other members, hope that all made sense lol” Everyone seemed moved by your support towards them and nodded.
“Y/n so you don’t have a favorite, but do you have a crush on any of them?, like if you could date one of them right now, which one do you pick?” A fan asked.
You looked at her and really thought about how to answer said question in the best way possible; “okay...well...Like I said just to be clear I don't have favorites amongst the group members, but I do have a type…. I consider one of them to be my celebrity crush” you answered, starting out slow and finishing by blurting out the last part.
Your fans in front of you went crazy, they leaned over their seats wanting to feel closer to you and not miss anything you were saying as you took a breath to continue speaking.
“So in that case, if I had to pick someone that I would date in real life...i would say…. Jungkook'' The room was filled with surprised remarks, small comments and squeals.
“Omg guys chill hahaha, breathe, it's just a crush I don’t know him and it's not going to happen. It's just that I find him really attractive and he is my type.”
The fans kept raising their hands to ask you various questions about BTS,
the camera director and manager signaled you to get your attention after you finished answering other questions and told you you only had time for one more question before the fan meet was over.
“Okay guys so apparently we have time for one more question, so make it a good one, it can be about anything, shoot” you said as you leaned over to reach for your water bottle, swung the bottle and pointed to someone on the corner of your eye who seemed to have one last question, as you drank some water they asked: “I have a last BTS question if you don’t mind y/n” 
Still gulping water you moved your hand indicating them that is was okay and to go on,
“okay, um I just thought about this, do you have like a specific fantasy or make up scenario about BTS that you could only dream could come true; like I wish i could walk into a café shop and suddenly meet V, realizing we were reading the same book and covering for hours”
That was such a deep and personal question, you had never once thought anyone would be interested in what your fantasies where; you thought it might be boring for your fans if you went on and on about  stupid make believe scenarios that live in your head rent free. But seeing everyones approving faces over the question and the intrigued eyes they were shooting at you, you spoke: “I love that question, and your scenario is so cute, you should write a tumblr post about it, (a/n wink wink) well yeah I obviously have created fake scenarios in my head about BTS, past crushes, fake arguments even hahaha, there are so many BTS fake scenarios in my head…. hmm oh I know which one, okay so this fantasy of mine is about how I would meet them irl and work with them, I will make it quick”
You kinda chuckled at yourself, playing with the cap on your water bottle, you felt as if you were about to say something really cringy and embarrassing. You took a deep breath and started the narration of the sinopsis of your personal fanfic created by you. 
“Okay so, my literal fantasy is to one day meet them at a talk show, you know how hosts like will surprise their guests with something/someone they like?, I believe Ellen has done it multiple times where she surprised a guest with their idol or celebrity crush, you know?” The group nodded, invested in your fake scenario “Well i would be invited to like the Jimmy Fallon Show, where he would just randomly surprise me with BTS. Then I would be given the opportunity to introduce myself and tell them how much I love and support them. I would also be able to show them my Korean speaking skills, I learned Korean and Spanish back in school and I have never been able to actually use either them, lol, anyway...well after that we would all become really good friends, and we would collaborate and put out one or multiple songs for you guys. I mean that's basically it, I wish I could meet them, and become their friend and write songs with them, even produce songs with Suga or RM if I could'' you sighed as you ended your mini narration.
You continued; “But well, that's just a fake scenario I repeat, it's not real and it's not gonna happen, EVER. For now I will keep supporting and loving them with you and the rest of ARMY. I really doubt they even know who I am, anyway” you closed the conversation at that. Your fans seemed like they wanted to say something but your camera director called you over before anyone could say something else. You excuse yourself and walk over to the cameras and lights set up where the staff is.
*your fans were really confused, and this you didn't know, but your fans knew for a fact that BTS knew very well who you were. The fans even knew which member has continuously admitted to having a platonic crush on you for years now, ever since you first blew up, back when you were 16 and he was 17. Your fans knew how you are one of BTS’s favorite artists, and this was no secret, you could literally look all this information up... 
They didn’t understand how you could have no idea how famous you actually are* They talked amongst themselves about this while you talked to your team.
Your manager and camera director indicated you to do an outro for the video’s footage and other instructions. You nodded your head and smiled, you took a step back and bowed your head towards the staff behind the cameras and thanked them for their work.
You then walked towards the group of fans and told them you had to do an outro for the camera if that was okay with them; you then sat with them on the floor while side hugging the two fans next to you, you directed yourself to the camera:  “Okay guys so sadly today’s meet is now over, I am really sad I wish we could hang out for longer, thank you so much for coming and making today so fun and special” you then turned to the camera “And for my other amazing supporters who are going to watch this on youtube, today was just a little scoop into my life like the other y/n’s camera roll EPISODES, in case you are interested in other videos like this one you can visit head to the channel where this video was uploaded and watch more! hopefully you guys had fun with us! I adore you all, thank you! Please Spread love always, y/n out” you waved as the camera director said “CUT” and the crew cut the cameras.
Your manager then stood up and directed everyone to get ready to leave, also thanking them for always supporting you and taking care of you, you smiled at your amazing manager and looked back at your fans while they picked up their stuff, smiling sadly.
You said your goodbye to everyone one-by-one as they headed out.
After lots of farewell hugs, kisses, selfies, and gifts, you went home with a smile on your face for the amazing time you had.
You went to bed, turned your phone on silent mode and looked at your ceiling,  reliving that fake scenario you talked about a few hours ago, oh how you wished it could become real (a/n hehe wink wink). Finally dozing off and resting for the work-packed day you had tomorrow unaware that your social media was currently going crazy and how they yearned for your new weekly EPISODE to come out.
Part 2- Jungkook’s POV --------> here
thank you so much, please interact with me to let me know if you like this :) Xx
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theyarebothgunshot · 4 years ago
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jib 7 breakdown and analysis 
a little while ago i said that i am open to requests for making analysis posts when it comes to cockles panels and just cockles in general, and i got quite a few responses. the first person who asked me was my lovely tea anon, and the panel in question is jib 2016 aka jib 7. 
first of all i want to give you my take on the overall vibe, and then second of all i will get into the details and link to certain timestamps in the video. 
standard disclaimer: i am not gonna be linking to every single thing i talk about, but i will try my best to link to the moments that stand out to me the most. my recommendation would be to watch the panel in its entirety alongside my comments. i have read long posts about this panel before, so not everything in this post is gonna be original or said for the first time ever, simply because there is a good chance that information has stuck in my mind and has subconsciously formed my view of this panel. this is also in no way, shape or form gonna be coherent, unfortunately. i’m just gonna hope that the cockles hivemind will be able to make sense of this regardless. love and light. and lastly, this is all in good fun, so don’t come at me if you think this is too out there please and thank you.
the overall vibe that this panel gives me is that jensen and misha are a unity at this point. they are in sync with each other, and this whole panel is very relaxed and in good spirits. there is also the fact that their outfits match very well. and with jensen ross ackles involved, that cannot be a coincidence, so i love that a lot. 
another thing that i cannot ignore is that it’s also a very sexual panel, with a lot of double meanings and innuendos and remarks that can be read as sexual if you are as pervy as me. 
now let’s get into the specifics. 
although i am sure this is not going to be news for any of you, i feel like a little background knowledge is in order. before this panel, misha had had a panel that day with j*red. the mishalecki panel was really fucking funny and filled with sexual innuendos. 
between these two panels, it appears that there was a break in which they all had nothing to do (i am basing this off other people’s experiences and reports that i have read in the past, as i unfortunately wasn’t there myself).
considering how this panel goes, i think there is a good chance that jensen and misha just had sex beforehand. and based on both of their demeanors, one could draw certain conclusions about who did what (i honestly don’t like talking about who tops and who bottoms because who gives a shit and things are rarely that black and white, but all i’m gonna say is that even though jensen has joked about his asshole before, jensen and misha clearly said switch rights).
from the very first second. the VERY FIRST SECOND. jensen is sauntering on stage like he is thee man. then the crowd is cheering ‘one more time’, and jensen looks at misha, starts cheering too, and makes a movement that is bordering on obscene before waving it away. conclusion: ‘one more time’ could also mean ‘one more round of hot steaming sex’ and he still had sex on the brains, so that was what he was thinking about. 
ahhh, the intricate ritual [1m34s] of greeting each other on stage as if you haven’t spoken to each other all day, even though you probably just had sex….. jensen ackles, i wanna study you. i wonder what the deal is with that. does he just like to pay misha extra attention on stage? does he revel in the fact that he knows that fans like this sort of interaction? can he just not help himself? questions that keep me up at night. 
also, there is just SOMETHING about the way jensen says ‘i’m doing well how are you?’ it’s almost flustered? borderline shy? and then he goes on to say that he did an impression of misha earlier, in a manner that’s just so flirty. idk guys. it’s flirty. kindergarten flirty, but flirty nonetheless.
misha, of course, immediately turns his entire body towards him. almost as if they both already forgot there is an audience in front of them. then he just gets closer and closer to jensen, for no reason whatsoever except for the pure magnetic pull they have on each other. pray4misha.
i think it is a testament to how in sync they are that misha immediately realises that jensen mentioned bicycle touring during his ‘impression of misha’, and i love the moment where jensen puts on an accent (something that misha normally does) and goes ‘is like sport’ and misha laughs and goes ‘is very similar to sport’ and they both lose it. idk, i feel like that might be a sort of inside joke to them as well. 
this might be slightly reaching, but hear me out: right away, jensen goes: ‘oh by the way, sore?’ why would he say ‘by the way’? what is he thinking about when he says that? is it about ‘is very similar to sport’? because i could totally see them having sex and refering to it as ‘well that’s kind of like a sport’, as an inside joke. it works. i’m just saying!!! 
look. i know this back and forth has been discussed to death. we all know that the implication is that jensen fucked misha and misha is kind of stunned that jensen actually goes there. so stunned that he repeats it: ‘sore? am i sore?’ almost as if to stall a bit in his response. yikes. 
i think that it’s fair to say that this is something jensen enjoys doing: riling misha up on stage. because a lot of the time, misha has the upper hand on stage (probably also in the bedroom but that’s another conversation), but sometimes. sometimes jensen just can’t help but throw a lil oil onto the fire. (see also: underbear panel, throwing himself on stage to get straddled, etc). 
misha goes on to say that ‘after the panel with j*red’ he is quite sore. you can take that at face value, and think ‘oh so he is joking around that the panel with j*red made him sore haha’ or you can see a little bit of the truth shine through: literally after that panel, something happened that made him sore. it’s always easier to lie when you are bending the truth.
i actually can’t believe i never connected the dots before, but when misha deflects and says ‘oh you’re talking about the bike riding’ jensen is quick to say: ‘oh no i was talking about what just happened’ but instead of pointing at the stage (which is where the previous panel took place) he is gesturing to backstage. i mean…. way to feed into my ‘they just had sex backstage’ theory, jackles. thanks for that. 
i cannot get over the way jensen is looking at misha throughout this whole ordeal, but especially when he goes ‘you heard it here first, folks’ and misha walks up to him. THAT FACE. fuck him. he’s so gone. 
sidenote: i have never wished to be able to read lips as much as i have since i have stumbled upon these two morons, because i WISH i could see what misha is mouthing to jensen. i know there is some spec that he might have said ‘i am a little bit’ (aka he is a little bit sore) and i could see that, but i just want to know for sure. and even though i have seen people state that jensen would have already known about the panel with j*red, i think it’s possible misha hadn’t filled jensen in yet, seeing as they probably were doing something other than talking. 
let me take this moment to tell y’all about one of my jenmish theories, and that is: i think that jensen sometimes is overprotective of misha and that can come across as jealousy when it’s actually just worry. and i think this panel is a good example of that.
misha says [4m25s] that in italy they call come influence and jensen just. straight up looks at misha like ‘what the fuck did you do, what mess did you get yourself into this time?’ this is another reason why i believe he actually didn’t know about what happened during that panel yet: the reaction looks very authentic. you see his eyes shift from one side to the other and back again, as he is trying to process it. and honestly when you look at misha, his face goes through this journey of ‘this is funny’ to ‘shit is this maybe going a bit too far?’ and ending on ‘okay wrap it up wrap it up’. this is further solidified by the fact that jensen starts to mime digging a grave (aka ‘digging your own grave’).
misha tries to ‘change the subject’ by saying cas is the bottom in the implied relationship with sam and jensen immediately brings it back to sports. see what i meant when i said that they are tying sex and sports together? here jackles goes again, doing exactly that. for no reason whatsoever. (except to once again proof my point). 
WHY [5m50s] do they both burst out laughing at ‘tight end’ why why why i don’t wanna know but why why also quick reminder of ‘are you sore at all’ help i am just. EVERY DAY they are making me perceive things and connect dots and i do not like it. anyways i’m not saying that this is all very graphic stuff about their sex lives but i’m also not not saying it, you feel? jensen’s face says it all tbh. on a more wholesome note: i love the fact that they basically wanted to say ‘we should take questions’ at the same time. again: in sync. 
when the first person to ask a question said ‘this is a serious question’ misha goes to explain to jensen that that was a joke during his panel with j*red, another reason to believe that he hadn’t told jensen about the panel yet. jensen’s face there…. heart eyes motherfucker. 
i really don’t see enough people talk about the ‘safe word’ [6m38s] bit. jensen is the one to bring it up ‘so we should probably establish a safe word at this point. mine is keep going.’ misha laughs, and then realises what jensen has said, and (here comes my dom/sub truthing) teases jensen by saying ‘what is your safe word?’ to which jensen replies ‘keep going’ but LOOK at jensen’s face after he says that. he shakes his head with a little smirk and looks at misha with such a knowing look in his eyes that says ‘you fucker you know damn well what my safe word is’ and he actually does a double take and immediately rolls his eyes at himself after that. it’s all very quick but it’s far from subtle and i am here for it. 
i fucking love this next part because when the person says ‘a real story about the real jensen and the real misha’ they both are just like ‘yes okay’ but as soon as they say ‘that you have never told anyone before’ jensen just looks down and moves his head as if to say ‘what the hell am i supposed to come up with then’ lmao it’s really funny, and they end it with: ‘to know you a little bit better’ and guys (gn) i beg of you to look at the way they look at each other here. [7m24s] jensen is just like ‘help wtf should we say to this’ and misha just smiles down at him fondly like ‘sigh our fans really want us to talk about our relationship and as much as we would love to share stuff we just can’t’.
when misha says ‘we have to dust off some of those stories that we usually try not to tell other people’, something comes to mind: the ‘3 least ordered items on the menu’ story, that jensen shared a year after this at honcon. i honestly think that maybe they started to talk about what else they could share with the public, after this panel, because they get similar questions like this one all the time. either that or jensen just thought about what he felt comfortable sharing, without talking to misha about it, and decided to tell that story. 
i also absolutely love when they say ‘this is a serious question’ at the same time. AGAIN: IN SYNC!!!
‘i actually have a voice for you’ jensen can you please tell me why this sounds flirty and charming while you are actually about to make fun of your husband? i hate you (no i don’t) the fact that misha immediately knows what will happen, says a lot.
then jensen says: ‘dust off an old story for uhh..’ and burst out laughing. i swear to god i’d give my left pinkie to know what came to mind and what he whispered into misha’s ear. and i’m left handed. but i think we can all agree that whatever jensen said, it was something sexual, seeing as misha goes ‘nope’. those fuckers (affectionate).
something that i have mentioned in the past is that jensen always sort of ‘jokey’ goes ‘oh shit’ whenever misha says he’ll share something personal/private about them. i mean. jensen, it would be less sus if you didn’t respond. just giving you some pointers here, bro. because misha almost never shares something strange, it’s actually your reaction that makes me go ‘hmmmm.’ this time he even gets kind of elaborate breathing?? [10m27s]
oh to be a fly in clif’s car… honestly, the things clif must have heard and witnessed lmao. he clearly knows what is up between them (has made enough remarks about thinking that misha would be the bottom and that misha on his knees was nothing new for me to see that he absolutely knows.) 
this isn’t really important when it comes to cockles but they talk a bit about j*red’s internet dispute with at&t and jensen goes ‘oh they know’ gesturing to the audience. so clearly, jensen is well aware of the fact that fandom gets involved whenever something happens online with any one of them. just. thought that is an interesting fact. just in general. also love how i can tell that they both think j*reds crusades are bullshit (as they should). 
there is something really cute [14m13s] about the way misha goes ‘do you want your apple juice?’ and jensen goes ‘yeah!’ it sounds so domestic and mundane and i just. god i love them so much. 
i know we talk about jensen’s heart eyes a lot. but y’all. look [14m52s] at misha right here. he’s SO in love.
the thing that strikes me about jensen putting on ‘that voice’ for misha is that misha is honestly not bothered by it at all, but i think if the shoe was on the other foot, jensen would definitely be bothered. i don’t know what conclusion to draw from that but i just thought that is interesting. i always laugh at that bit, though, they seem to have so much fun.
i REALLY wanna know how jensen got from ��will you dance for us?’ to ‘no but i’ll tell you what, misha and i will write a song for you real quickly.’ it’s such a fast transition that i am tempted to think that this was something he had been thinking about for a while now. he just wanted his mish to sing a song. and that warms my heart.
if you think i will ever get over how soft jensen is here… ‘you’re smart, you think on your feet, you make brilliant videos, put them on facebook, write amazing texts (*coughs* poems) and tweets and stuff, go ahead. spit out some lyrics, big guy.’ there is not one single thing about this that i do not adore. an ode to misha!!!! so casually!!! fuck. it might be true that if you want jensen to do something, you get misha to ask him, but it’s certainly also true the other way around.
the way jensen just. stares [19m02s] at misha, trying to get inspired by him, trying to feel out what cords to play. yeah. the way misha stands up but instinctively turns to jensen when he starts to sing. yeah. and then during the remainder of the song, he keeps on turning to jensen even though he faces the audience. and jensen loved it all. it’s so sweet. idk why but it just is. jensen just wanted his babe to thrive and get the love he deserves. 
aaaand in comes the dom shake [20m37s]. we love to see it. jensen just keeps on looking at mish. almost gets lost in it. touches his inner thigh (one of his habits, which he does a lot around misha or when talking about misha). 
i think it’s very interesting that jensen’s reaction [22m11s] to the question if he thinks dean will ever find a way to have a romantic relationship and to find himself in between normal and supernatural, is to immediately looks at misha. like? what was the reason? did he expect misha to answer a question that wasn’t about cas but about dean? did he think he should maybe answer it in a destiel-like manner? was he worried that the fan was hoping for a destiel-like answer and was he looking at misha to gauge what he thought was a smart way to respond? so many questions. 
i think it’s pretty interesting that jensen was very aware of the fact that people did not wanna see dean end up with a huntress lmao. he absolutely was aware of so many fandom things.
when jensen said that misha just crossed the line [23m40s], it’s another example of how jensen is ultra aware of what misha says and how it could get him into trouble and by the sounds of it, misha knows that as well but he just can’t always stop himself in time. from what we can see, he often realises just after he has already said something (when it is already too late).
listen. the fact that misha says ‘when harry met sally’ BEFORE the question was even finished, and jensen LAUGHS, like??? that panel was 5 years ago at that point. it clearly made a lot of impact on the both of them (jeez i wonder why, could it be because misha faked an orgasm and jensen got excited? hmm. who knows.) 
i think the dance portion is so fucking hilarious i’m wheeeezing. literally. they are just moving randomly AND YET THEY STILL SORT OF ARE IN SYNC? amazing.
you wanna know what i find really cute? the fact that jensen has such a soft spot for the resume off. part of me thinks it’s because they had a resume off in both 2012 and 2013. 
and jib 2012 took place during the famously rumored break up period. i wouldn’t be surprised if jib 2013 was that much more special to him because they finally got to make it right again. don’t look at me i’m getting emotional (on that note…… i might wanna write something about the break up period at some point. but idk. i mean. it’s a lot to delve into especially since i wasn’t in the fandom back then but. it compels me. we’ll see i guess.)
okay i know i keep saying this but they are SO in sync, as soon as they talk about photo ops and jensen goes ‘and to dab a little salt in the wound’ misha knows what he is gonna say, and they stand up together to demonstrate what happened. AND they both go ‘that’s not the punchline’ they are husbands. 
misha and jensen have both “twirled away laughing” in the EXACT same manner during this panel: misha when jensen starts to read the script, and jensen right here when misha says ‘what’s it like to be in a successful long running show’. they are mirrors. listen. listen. i know my mind is in the gutter a LOT of the time but like. uhm. there is this moment where they recall a woman saying in the photo op to ‘eat it’ (the string candy she gave to them) and misha says ‘and so we did’ and jensen looks at misha and it is SUCH an incriminating look i mean i don’t wanna be that person but 5 bucks he was thinking about eating misha out i am JUST SAYING. LITERALLY LOOK AT HIS FACE. [28m55s]
misha teases [7m02s] jensen by saying ‘what did you do? did you actually do it on purpose orrrr’ and i think it was to make jensen elaborate on it. which i think is a fucking good way to pull that off when it comes to jensen. cause jensen doesn’t like to brag, which misha knows, so by making that joke he is essentially trying to get jackles to tell the audience more about what he did, without him feeling like he is boasting about himself. and misha looks so pleased when jensen starts talking.
fuck i literally had to pause just now because. jensen says: ‘one of the characteristics of dean that i love to play is that he can bottle those fears up, stash them away, and just go. and uhm… sometimes i wish i could do that.’
this is actually making me a bit emotional because. he took his time saying this. it was a very deliberate move. he wasn’t sorry he said anything or regretted it. he wanted to get that out there. and i just. it makes so much sense if what we all think is actually true. he wishes he could just ignore all his fears and go for it. and it’s not hard to imagine what ‘it’ could be: coming out. whether that be just about his relationship with misha or being attracted to more than women in general, just in any way shape or form. it’s poignant. and misha turns away, but you can see him sigh a little bit. 
the whole bit about “apple juice” is just very cute and i enjoy it a lot. one thing i will say though is that i can kind of spot two tells of jensen: the way his face scrunches up when he is telling a lie that he thinks is clever, and the way he always leaves his chair to pour a drink when a question becomes difficult/hard/too funny to face head on. he has done both of those things time and time again, during panels with misha. just an observation. 
there is this little moment [10m13s] where misha tells the story about how he used to make apple cider with worms and dirt in it and in the end he goes ‘anyways. new england apple cider everyone. highly recommend.’ and jensen echoes that, ‘highly recommend. yeah.’ and of course that could just be a way to joke around and play along with misha but i’d like to think that he has visited misha and they had some apple cider together. just because i like the thought and i can, so. 
how CUTE is it that jensen remembers ‘i’ll just wait here then’, a line cas spoke 7 years prior to that panel, in a scene jensen wasn’t even in. i love it.
jensen slowly shaking his head when misha says ‘fuck’ and apologizing for it has SUCH major ‘excuse my husband’ energy. i love it.
‘i’ve got an idea’ [14m13s] ‘what? let’s do it’ misha imMEDIATELY regretted that lmaooo they are always so aware of double meanings and yet they cannot seem to help themselves. we love to see it. 
can you BELIEVE jensen ‘dance monkey dance’ ackles OFFERED to shamelessly promote a movie they have nothing to do with??? jensen, who hates the fact that they have to play some sort of show on stage, actually wanted to do that with misha??? i’m just- something something if you want jensen to do anything ask misha, but apparently also: if you want jensen to do something get misha involved and he’ll love it. 
and then he has the audacity to say ‘over to the wheel of love.’ i mean. i can’t.
(i don’t necessarily understand what is happening btw but that’s okay, because it leads to champagne. which is fun.)
okay so again apologies for my mind being in the gutter but jensen’s face [16m33s] when he says he is going to explain what [the champagne] tastes like……. hm. help. 
 honestly i just love the whole champagne bit because i love it whenever they get so playful on stage, and them “presenting” the bottle and going all ‘we know what we’re talking about’ ‘we’re kind of connaisseurs’ and the whole english accent bit. say it with me…. in sync. 
jensen popping a champagne bottle is something that can be so personal…. (i’m touch starved and going crazy, leave me alone)
i absolutely love the fact that jensen notices that misha is miming taking off his pants and misha immediately runs to him to explain and jensen just goes full on protective husband mode (YET AGAIN) ‘i turn my back for 2 minutes’ lmao it’s just such old married couple behavior. an old married couple that is horny and deranged, but still. 
i’ve seen the gifset of this moment [24m52s] many a times but i still think it’s so intimate. the way misha looks at jensen and walks backwards with him, for no fucking reason at all. sigh. misha’s hand clenches a little, and honestly i think he would have wanted to reach out to jensen in that moment. pat his arm or his back. and something happens a little while later that only proves my point even more…
that caress [60m5s] is probably one of the most intimate gestures i’ve seen between them. it’s so familiar. so natural. it says a lot.
and that’s the end of the panel. all in all i have to say that i enjoyed rewatching this panel with the analysis goggles on, because it’s really a very different experience and i picked up on a lot more than i did when i watched it just for fun. i think this is one of my favorite panels of theirs (at least until my next analysis lmao) because of the fact that they are so in sync with each other, which goes to show that their relationship was in such a good place (mind you i am only using past tense because i am describing a past panel, not because i think they’re not in a good place right now). this was a lot of fun folks, if you actually read all of this, god bles, you’re the best. see you next time!
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lyallblacklupin · 4 years ago
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Sirius tries to remember Remus.
Post-Azkaban Wolfstar: Angst with Hopeful Ending.
Sirius is battling with his memory after Azkaban. 12 years of dementors torturing him, that had caused some real damages to his brain. He doesn’t remember people until they introduce themselves to him. Everyone is steering clear his way but Remus hasn’t given up on him yet.
These days are sickening. They make you feel so lonely and ugly. They tell you—no they scream at you that you don’t deserve anything. Know why? Because you don’t matter. You don’t exist. The most horrifying thing about those voices is that they can make you believe they are saying the truth. Like I did. And I still do, and believe me, it’s not good.
Life is just unfair is so easy to say, it’s just a slip of tongue as if you are consoling a group of people, like Madam Hooch used to when we would lose to Slytherins because they played dirty. However, realizing the fact how unfair life really is, is gut-wrenching. It forces you to become unlike yourself. It puts malevolent ideas in your head for the people who you love—or used to loved. I would go on and blame these walls, but then I’m questioning the universe that why did I have to be born here? The Grimmauld Place 12? And then I’m eventually answered; Life is unfair, you git, haven’t you get it yet?
The nights are terrible here, I hear Kreacher whispering to my charming mother’s portrait, I hear the floor creaking even though no one comes here, except they are invited by Dumbledore—which sounds weird because it’s my house but again, life is just unfair.
Right now, I’m struggling to sleep because there is a prickling fear sitting at the edges of my body. The fear of Dementors for taking the last of everything away.
I still have some good memories, like the one when James made me Harry’s Godfather. Harry’s big emerald eyes were streaming with fat tears until he was given into my arms. I can remember that I had gasped at the scene, and so did the others in the room.
“Oh Sirius! He was crying for like an hour! But he stops now!? I swear this is not a coincidence!” Lily said, but James had been quiet.
“Prongs?” No answer.
“Prongsie? Hey!” Because I caught him pressing his hand on his mouth forcefully, his face blotchy, and he didn’t stop sniffing. He was crying! “What? Like you—father and son both work alternatively? When Harry stops crying, he transfers his weeping mantra to you, and vice versa?”
“Shut up!” Before I said something, I let out an ‘oof’ because James shoved me in his embrace, sandwiching Harry in middle of the process. Harry was giggling with his tear-stained face. His laugh was like music to my ears. I didn’t mention that. I was in love with Harry. He felt like my own child. I never thought I’d feel this exuberance but there was, more than I expected. I was bad at displaying true affection in front of people, but I couldn’t help when Harry’s tiny and chubby hands brushed the collar of my jacket, utterly in awe with the feeling of material on his fingers, I completely forgot James was hugging me, and I managed to press a kiss on Harry’s cheek. He smelled like soft babies. I was in love with that scent. I wanted to hold him forever.
I can never forget that memory. It helps me cast a patronus. There is also something vague about that memory. There is someone too in the small crowd, behind me, other than James. I can remember there was the blonde girl, Mckinnon, and her best friend, Meadows-something. I struggle with names. Sometimes I forget—
“Sirius?”
—Remus’ name. I have to see or hear the person to see if I can remember.
“I’m in my room?” He calls me out every time for like the hundredth time he has found me in my bedroom, and yes, I am still in my bedroom. He won’t stop calling me out. Sometimes, he is very annoying.
“Oh yeah, Of course.” He appears at the doorway, leaning to his left, smiling weakly. He looks tired. He is short of breath. I want to give him a glass of water but my limbs are protesting.
“I could give you a glass of water, but I—just don’t feel like getting up.” I didn’t want to say that but I did because the expressions on Remus’ face are priceless. There is awkwardness written on his face with a hint of shock and sadness. There is nothing pretty about that, but it brings back an indistinct memory I enjoy that I cannot tell. I am disturbing. That’s another trait I have discovered about myself ever since I came back from Azkaban.
“No, it’s alright. I just had water. Not thirsty at all. I—umm…I brought you something.” He says, and then I notice a package in his hand.
“Hope it’s not something you and your werewolf buddies plays with.”
“Ha, no, I wish. But it’s something I needed to give you…from a very long time.” He comes and sits beside me. I had to sit up because I can’t let him touch me. I don’t know why but I am always scared of Remus Lupin, and it is my secret, “Here.” He gives me the package, and looks into my eyes. I try looking away but I couldn’t try harder.
“Happy Birthday.” He whispers, and it sends a shudder to my body. What is the date today?
I open the package, and there it is. A photo frame. It was a leather frame. Black. I am trying not to look at the picture so I distract myself by admiring the leather. And again, I remember Harry. But it is a forced visualization so it doesn’t last longer. I am very much aware of Remus’ presence. I am also getting short of breath now. I look at him and he is already staring at me. I smile at him, but he frowns. And then I frown, too. What is wrong? I saw his hand coming up near my face, and I bat away.
He is gawking at him with wide and horrified eyes, and a hurt expression.
“I—I’m sorry. I don’t…I just—I am sorry. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“I know you don’t. But you eventually do.” It doesn’t come out bitter. He is smiling at me, but he isn’t done talking, “Sirius, I want to talk. It is eating me alive. Sometimes, I don’t think I am left with much longer in me…But, hey,” He reaches out but stops immediately, “Please…I—I want to talk to you about…Everything or anything. We can talk about us?”
“Us?”
“Yeah…If you want to,”
“There is no Us, Remus.”
“There used to be.” I snort, but he is frowning. I hate his frowns. Why can’t he just smile like a normal person?
“Like what? Did we snog? Or shagged once or twice?” I can’t recall any heterosexual experience, so I can’t say I have never done anything with a guy.
“Sirius, was that picture not enough?” He said with such sadness. And then I look at the picture.
And then I see it. There is a younger version of Remus Lupin, wearing a giant grey jumper, sitting on a library’s table. How decent. There is someone in between his legs, standing before him. It is a dark-haired guy, wearing a Gryffindor tie on his hogwarts’ uniform. He has his hands wrapped around Remus’ torso. A thick curtain of his long hair is almost concealing the half of his face, considering how much it is already buried in Remus’ chest. He squeezes gleefully which causes the younger Remus to erupt with laughter. The scene goes back and forth. And then I spot two people sitting in far distance. They were unmistakably James and Lily. They are the only people I recognize. Those two are cackling because how stupidly romantic the two boys are acting against each other. The picture keeps playing, and I focus again on the couple in the spotlight, and I realize that little Remus is trying to press a kiss on the guy’s forehead but the other person doesn’t stand still, constantly whipped his long hair—and then I freeze all of a sudden. Because I see it. The grey eyes, the long hair, and especially the scar on the left wrist, which still glows sliver in the daylight when I secretly stand in the balcony.
“That is us.” It comes out of my mouth even though I never expect myself to say it.
“Yeah, you and me. We were not just each other’s quick snog, or shagging partner. We go way back, Padfoot. Longer than James and Lily.”
“I don’t remember you…” It comes out as a whimper. I feel stupid and vulnerable.
“I’m sorry, Sirius. I’m sorry for what I did. I never apologized about this…I wanted to—“
“I don’t remember you…”
“—but I never really got a chance. I’m sorry I thought you could betray the Potters. I’m sorry that I kept myself believing for twelve years that it was you. But I swear to Merlin, I never stopped loving you—“
“I don’t remember you, Remus…” But he is not listening.
“—I used to hate myself for this. I felt disgusting that I still loved you. And then I melted myself in filthy thoughts. No one was there to judge me. I used to picture you all the time, sitting on the sofa waiting for me to come back from the muggle job you hated. I used to see you laying on the bed in the night. I used to imagine myself cuddling up with you. And some days, it was so real that we used to talk till dawn. We used to watch the sunrise together. October 31st used to come and go by, and we pretended it was just another Halloween and you used to say ‘Moony, you hate Halloween because some people dress up as werewolves, and you don’t get to wear a costume!’—“
I stop saying anything. I cannot tell that I don’t remember him because I do. His hand accidently rubs shoulder, and I am suddenly yanked to my happiest memory—Harry’s beautiful hands reaching my jacket—and the ‘someone’ is not just someone who is behind me, rubbing my lower back and laying his head against mine, because it was him. It was Remus Lupin. It is still Remus Lupin, I want him to be.
I cannot tell that I don’t remember him because I am starting to…and it’s a start. He keeps telling me how he spent the last twelve years, so I listen to him because my years were not in an open cage just like his. It was scary to be locked up for years and never to see the people you love, but it must have been even scarier to be free for years and never see the people you love. Remus Lupin has suffered too, and I can’t help but be there for him. 
So as he keeps rambling his stories about his undying love for me, I slip into his space, and wrap my arms around his torso, like I had in the picture, and bury my face into his chest. He is not warmer as he must have been in that picture but it calms me down because his heart is beating against mine, and I am happy to have him alive with me.
Thanks for reading! Stay magical!
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echotzzz · 4 years ago
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Elriel connection in powers & abilities + N&C
The only people that have used Truth- Teller
“This is Truth-Teller,” he told her softly. “I won’t be using it today—so I want you to.”
“It has never failed me once,” the shadowsinger said, the midday sun devoured by the dark blade. “Some people say it is magic and will always strike true.” He gently took her hand and pressed the hilt of the legendary blade into it. “It will serve you well.”
Azriel lends his truth teller to Elain in which she use it to make the killing blow towards the Hybern King.
Anything, I begged the Cauldron. Anything—
Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck as she snarled in his ear, “Don’t you touch my sister.”
Feyre literally begged and bargain with the Cauldron to save Nessian and in returns the Cauldron send Elain and not only that, together with the shadow and truth teller.
Is it coincedence that the one time Feyre pray for the Cauldron, Elain was the one who came. Is it coincidence that, in order to kill the Hybern King, Elain was equipt with truth teller and the shadows for it to happen?? Is it coincidence that this scene were remain mysterious and never mention again?? like everyone suddenly forgot it actually happen. Like the Cauldron set things up for it to happen according to the fate🤔
Nuala & Cerridwen
“Why do you think they’re now whispering in Azriel’s ear that I’m in here?” “I thought they answered to Rhys.” “They answer to both, but they were trained by Azriel first.”
N&C were trained by Azriel and they report to him. They have loyalty towards Azriel and not to mention that they are half wraith, shadow manipulator and can travel through wall and stone.
Who knows Azriel also had train others as it was mentioned that he have spies and sourcer from different courts.
Elain stood between Nuala and Cerridwen at the long worktable. All three of them covered in flour. Some sort of doughy mess on the surface before them.
Nuala swallowed hard. “The lady said she was hungry, so we went to make her something. But—she said she wanted to learn how, so …” Hands wreathed in shadows lifted in a helpless gesture, flour drifting off them like veils of snow. “We’re making bread.”
Breathed in the smell of the bread Nuala and Cerridwen had baked that morning with Elain.
We know Elain was in depression after she was turned. N&C were the ones that made Elain slowy started to do and learn something new which is baking
Baking is the one thing that were in common between Elain, Nuala and Cerridwen. They have the same interest and form a frienship from it. This remind me of something
Feyre, Mor & Amren= Wine
Nesta, Emerie & Gwyn= smut books
Elain, Nuala & Cerridwen= baking
Elain’s voice was colder than usual. I glanced at Nuala and Cerridwen, the latter giving me a shake of her head as if to say, Not a good day for her.
They understand Elain moods. They stop Feyre from asking Elain more questions.
“Nuala and Cerridwen were up hours earlier.”Especially for what they’d done for my sister. The companionship, the purpose, the small sense of normalcy in that kitchen. She’d bought them those cozy, fuzzy blankets from the weaver, one raspberry pink and the other lilac.
Elain gift the twin blankets with the colour that associated with her the most, pink and lilac. N&C are her companion during the hard times and in a way help Elain went through it. Other than the Ic, N&C are her new found family just like how Emerie and Gwyn for Nesta
Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.
Elain called N&C FRIENDS periodttt👏 And they were also the people that were suspected gives Elain stealth lessons. N&C already are spies trained by Azriel. It is fitting that they practise together with Elain. From what i could see
Feyre, Mor & Amren= Political minded
Nesta, Emerie & Gwyn= warriors
Elain, Nuala & Cerridwen= Spies
Can you see the vision?? Sjm wants her girls to have girlfriends with same interest and specialty for their growth arc. Elain definitely become stronger mentally and physically after spending time with N&C.
Stealthy
Stealthy: movement that is quiet and careful in order not to be seen or heard
I wondered if Rhys’s spymaster often got his information through stone-cold manners as much as stealth and shadows.
Azriel is much connected to stealth as it is the important element for him to master as a spy.
Elain from head to toe, wondering if she’d been taking lessons in stealth either from Azriel or the two half-wraiths she called friends.
Nesta who rarely come to the house, upon seeing Elain came quietly automaticaly assume that this was something she learned from either Azriel or N&C. This indicates that Elain does spend time with Azriel quite often that even other people would assume Elain being stealthy is the product of those time togather.
Secret keeping
Feyre smiled. “Elain was the only one who guessed. She caught me vomiting two mornings in a row.” She nodded toward Azriel. “I think she’s got you beat for secret-keeping.”
Again people relating Elain behaviour with Azriel. The fact that Feyre said this to Azriel made it more obvious to readers that sjm want them to know that if Elain has a new thing going on with her, Azriel is the cause or someone that can relate to.
Shadows
Now i’m not gonna explain this the long way because there were already amazing post discuss about it. But i just want to highlight that the shadows in some scenes have the same reaction towards Elriel.
Azriel stepped out of a shadow. “What is that,” he hissed.
Elain stepped out of a shadow behind him, and rammed Truth-Teller to the hilt through the back of the king’s neck
First of all, why does the shadow help Elain if they ‘afraid or hate’ her?? Second of all, how the hell does Elain could actually stepped out of the shadows?? What ability that she possessed that allow her to do so?AND SO FAR, AZRIEL AND ELAIN WERE THE ONLY PEOPLE THAT STEPPED OUT OF A SHADOW!! why sjm never explain abt it? Simple she’ll do it in Elriel’s book.
Azriel said coolly, “I don’t need to resort to threats.” The shadows coiled around him, snakes ready to strike.
Nesta saw the blow land, like a physical impact, in Elain’s face, her posture. No one spoke, though shadows gathered in the corners of the room, like snakes preparing to strike.
Some people said that the shadows do so as the reaction for Azriel because he is angry towards Nesta. Why does he angry with Nesta?? Because Nesta hurts Elain’s feeling. Why does Azriel bothered if Elain’s feeling got hurt?? Because he care for her. Because he could feel Elain’s sorrow and wish for it to be gone. Because he could feel it through the mating bond and it effect him so much, his shadow ready to strike to any threats that come to his mate.
or maybe, the shadows indeed protect Elain as they were with Azriel. who knows🤷🏼‍♀️
Some other scene that scream Elain x Shadows
“Don’t,” Elain said flatly, starting once more into a walk, veils of steam drifting past her shoulders from the roasted rosemary potatoes in her hands, as if they were Azriel’s shadows. “She won’t listen.”
“What now?” Elain mused, at last answering my question from moments ago as her attention drifted to the windows facing the sunny street. That smile grew, bright enough that it lit up even Azriel’s shadows across the room.
Concept of power
It made sense, I supposed, that Azriel alone had listened to her. The male who heard things others could not … Perhaps he, too, had suffered as Elain had before he understood what gift he possessed.
“shadowsingers are rare—coveted by courts and territories across the world for their stealth and predisposition to hear and feel things others can’t.”
Her face was wan, her lips bloodless. But they moved—barely—as she said, “I can see so very far now. All the way to the sea.”
Azriel could hear things other people cannot
Elain could see things other people cannot
Together they could be the eyes and the ears for the night court
Hear and see things people can’t + stealthy+ secretive = SPY COUPLE🤩
Azriel understood Elain as he have experienced such power that is rare and people sometimes see them as ‘freaks’ by being different. Azriel’s father threw him into the illyrian camp and the Ic think Elain’s gone mad.
Notice that the shadowsinging and seer abilities are refer as ‘gift’. Those powers were not born with but were given to them when they are in need and because of that made them stronger.
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stargazing-dreamer-girl · 4 years ago
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Royalty
Fandom: The Irregulars
Pairing: Billy x female!OC, Leopold x Bea, unrequited Leopold x female!OC
WC: 17k (You can also find it on ao3 here)
Summary: Mary-Belle has always been like family to Leopold. The only one who stuck by his side and rather stayed inside with him than to go outside. That was, until he decided to leave the palace for an adventure and found new friends there, a new family. But, of course, Mary-Belle was still worrying about her friend, the one she had been in love with for years. She watched as he fell in love with Beatrice and still tried to keep him out of trouble, getting pulled into it herself by doing so. With the end of the world near she tries her best.
A/N: This has taken me so long to write and it's the longest one-shot I've ever written. I put a lot of work into this and I hope you guys like it as it is my little baby xD I also posted this on ao3 and linked it above since reading longer stuff on tumblr can be a pain. So, Enjoy!
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Whenever she moved through the castle, Mary-Belle carried herself with grace. Her back straight, her head held high, so as to proclaim her status without uttering a single word. Nobody stopped her on her way to Prince Leopold’s room. Somebody knocked on the door for her when she came to a stop in front of it. It was opened right away for her to enter. She gave the servant a small nod in thanks. They knew not to enter after her, so as soon as she was in the room the door was closed behind her.
“You’re back,” she spoke the obvious. Leopold was standing in front of the mirror that looked just as expensive as anything else in the room. He met her gaze through the reflection. She had moved to the middle of the room, hands on her hips and eyes glued to him. He let out a sigh and gave up on arranging his clothes before turning around, feeling the whole weight of her disapproving stare. “You can’t keep disappearing on me. I don’t care if you run away from your family, but not me. You tell me where you go. I worry too, you know. We don’t keep secrets from each other.” She had stepped closer, her hands on his coat, adjusting it to sit right with harsh movements.
“I know, Mary. I’m sorry.” Her touches got softer adjusting his collar before she took a step back when he looked presentable. “But you don’t have to worry. They probably hate me for leaving again and there’s no way I can go back with the soiree taking place tonight.”
She went to sit on the sofa by the foot of his bed, patting the spot next to her, so that he would sit down as well. “Tell me what happened since the last time we saw each other.” So, he sat next to her and told her about the woman who had stolen people’s teeth and tried to assassinate the duke of Winchester and about the mansion they were trapped in and the tarot cards. “If you were anyone else, I would not believe these stories at all,” she laughed softly. Stories about magic certainly were quite unbelievable. On the other hand, the danger Leopold seemed to be putting himself in was very real and believable. “Is there anything else?” She knew that there was. Having known him since childhood she had learned how to read him like an open book. All his mannerism and quirks, she knew about.
“I kissed Bea.” She ignored the way her way heart seemed to constrict at the statement. The way he smiled and the gleam in his eyes let her know everything she needed. The girl, who she had hoped would just be of short interest to him, had made its way into his heart and taken it over. There was no way now for her to find her place there. So instead, she smiled and placed her hand on his arm reassuringly. “But right after, I left. I heard the bells and was about to be late for the weekly breakfast with my mother. I did miss it actually and now Daimler is onto me. He’s the one who talked to my mother, so that I would be allowed to go to Louise’ birthday soiree. All that so he can keep an eye on me.”
“You are helpless, Leo,” announced Mary-Belle. “You cannot kiss a girl and then just leave. Imagine how she must feel.” His gaze moved to the floor. His thoughts had been about how he would make it back in time and not how Bea would be feeling in this moment. He wanted to hit his head for his ignorance. “But there is nothing you can do about it now. Let’s just enjoy the soiree. You might actually like it.” She stood and walked towards the door, not waiting for Leopold. He would need another moment to gather his thoughts before he would attend, so she made her way down to the room by herself where everyone already appeared to be having a good time. There were couples dancing and people talking. A lively atmosphere filled the room. A servant offered her a glass. She lifted it off the tray, her gloved fingers gently holding on to it. The sweetly bitter taste filled her mouth when she took a sip. It took some getting used to before she actually enjoyed the drink.
Rather quickly she was able to find Louise between all these people and made her way over to the girl to wish her a happy birthday and talk to her. “Have you seen Leopold’s entrance? He is already rather popular,” noticed Louise, gesturing towards the dance floor where Leopold held a blonde girl close while they swayed to the music. Mary-Belle hadn’t even realized he was present. “Although he does appear to be a rather inept dancer. I thought the two of you had practiced.”
“Ever since we were little, yes,” confirmed Mary-Belle, “his thoughts are elsewhere tonight which seems to be translating into his dancing. He is quite competent at other times.” The two girls watched as Leopold once again stepped on his dancing partner’s feet, but fortunately the song came to a close and they moved off the dance floor. He apparently didn’t lose his appeal to the girl either since she led him over to a group of people and introduced him. “He seems to be doing well enough for himself,” she pointed out.
Louise agreed before her attention was taken up by another person. “Oh, I almost forgot, there was someone I wanted to introduce you to.” She grabbed Mary’s hand and pulled her along past the group Leopold was sitting with, coming to a stop in front of two men. They were quite handsome but didn’t seem to have much to offer other than that. They appeared to have grown up with the idea that having good looks made a personality unnecessary. She entertained them for a little while for Louise’ sake before she wandered off on her own.
She noticed Leopold leaving the room with the girl he had been dancing with. She considered following them but decided against it and let herself get distracted by her surroundings. Louise got ahold of her again, pulling her to another couple of girls whose behavior was already influenced by the alcohol. They were laughing loudly, holding each other up while they filled Louise and Mary-Belle in about Eleanor Margot, the girl Leopold had been spending his evening with. Like how she only cared for herself. A trait she shared with many people present tonight. It came with the upbringing.
But when Eleanor Margot returned, Leo wasn’t by her side anymore. An uneasy feeling filled Mary, so she excused herself and approached Eleanor. “Where is Leopold?”
“I don’t know,” she answered. “I left him upstairs somewhere.” She waved her hand dismissively, rolled her eyes and turned away from Mary-Belle who was equally as irritated by the short exchange. Making her way upstairs to look for Leopold she passed some people who had separated themselves from the happenings of the soiree and a passed-out girl. She checked one room that was being occupied by a couple that didn’t even realize someone had entered. She quickly left.
The next room was barely illuminated. She entered cautiously but there were no noises coming from the direction of the bed this time. But, through the thin curtains hung in front of the windows she could make out two figures out on the balcony. Curiosity took over. When she came to a halt in front of the window, she moved the curtain slightly, just enough to look through the opening, but hopefully not enough to be noticed. On the balcony, Leopold and Daimler were in the middle of what looked like a very intense conversation with Leo standing on the other side of the railing.
Before she fully realized what was happening Leo had jumped. A shocked gasp escaped her. She moved away from the window, the curtain slipping from her hand. Her shaking hands came up to cover her mouth. What had he done? She hurried to the door to the balcony. Daimler was already gone and when she looked down, Leopold was nowhere to be seen either. She hoped he was alright, that he hadn’t hurt himself and was on the way to his friends. She would have to go look for him herself to make sure of it, but for now she would return home. Too many thoughts filled her head, worries about Leo’s wellbeing.
She made straight for the doors, taking one of the awaiting carriages and drove home. As she looked out onto the streets of London her thoughts were on Leo who had to be out there somewhere. Once again, he had left her without a word. It had been just by coincidence she had seen it happen. She didn’t want to think that she would never be as important to him as Beatrice and his new friends were even though they had known each other almost all their lives and he had just met them. It hurt too much, so she pushed that thought away. She wouldn’t think that way. She would find Leo and he would have a reasonable explanation for it all. Or at least she hoped he did.
Her plans to look for Leopold had to be moved to the day after because after waking up the next morning her mother announced that Mary-Belle had to accompany her. It was a rather annoying thought to be stuck by her mother’s side all day when she could be out. She’d rather use the day to find Leopold than to attend boring meetings with other ladies who would just end up talking about themselves, their husbands or their children. But she complied. They went to a tea house first. If she weren’t as worried, she might have actually enjoyed it. The place was quaint with only a few tables for guests to sit down, the food looked delicious and the tea smelled even more so. The woman who served them the tea always had a friendly smile on her round face that put Mary-Belle at ease. She was quite certain that that woman would provide better company than her current one. But she couldn’t leave. It would put a bad reputation on her family. How ironic life could be. That she had more sense for keeping up her family name than Leopold did. And he was the Prince of England! If she were more like him, she’d just stand up, walk out and search the streets until she found her friend.
She stayed. She stayed and listened to the conversations that were always the same with a small smile on her face that was as fake as the friendship between her mother and the other women present. When appropriate she chuckled. When it was expected of her, she told an anecdote that didn’t happen the way she said but that didn’t matter. Not to these people. Not to her. She could come up with anything as long as it was a story that fit the picture her family painted of themselves in public and what was demanded of her.
The sun was already setting when they returned home. Going out now would be a lost cause. She wouldn’t find anything, even if she didn’t get lost. It had to wait until tomorrow. Maybe she could study a map. Her father had to have some of them. She would ask at the dinner table. Most of the time she got what she wanted, so she was hopeful. It might make it easier to find Leo. And, like she had expected, her father let her into his study after dinner, rolling out a map on the desk. He asked her what she needed it for, but she waved him off with the explanation that she was just curious about London’s infrastructure which – even in her ears – sounded like a weak excuse, but her father believed her. He left her alone with the words that she can stay there as long as she wanted. She just had to be careful and put everything away when she was done.
When the door closed, she allowed herself to relax a bit more. She wasn’t exactly sure how the map would help her now, but she had hope. Leopold did mention some stuff when he told her about his new friends, so she just had to look for some of those markers. It couldn’t be that hard to do. She could find the cellar somehow, she was certain.
The Duck and Quiver. That’s what she needed to look out for. It had to be around here somewhere. She had followed the roads the map had told her to take and she was sure she was in the right place. She had to be. She took a turn to get off Baker Street. It was already a lot different from the environment she was used to, but it was oddly nice. The way the people interacted here out in the streets felt a lot more genuine than she’d ever experienced with people of the royal court. A man was shouting at another, shoving him before they both broke into laughter. Two women sat off to the side watching some kids kick an old can around in the middle of the street as they talked with each other with genuine smiles on their faces.
She took another turn and, in the distance, saw the sign she was looking for; the Duck and Quiver, it read. A relieved sigh left her. She had been looking all morning and finally found it. She made her way over and even before she got there, she saw Leopold. He was up on his feet, so he wasn’t hurt too badly, she concluded. He actually looked happy standing there with the crowds of people passing him.
She grabbed his arm and pulled him further to the side before he knew what was happening. But, when he saw her there, he smiled at her. “You found me!” he announced happily.
“I did! But I only went searching because I saw you jumping off the frigging balcony! Do you know how dangerous that is!” She shoved his shoulder. “I was so worried! I mean, you jumped off a bloody balcony, for fuck’s sake! I thought you wouldn’t put yourself in danger like that. We had just talked about it and then you go and do that. I can’t believe you!” She took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down. Leopold tried the same by putting his hand on her arm but she shook it off. “Are you hurt?” she asked. For the first time she completely took in his appearance. His clothes were clean and the patches of skin she could see seemed unharmed.
“I’m fine. You don’t have to worry,” said Leopold.
“Well, I do worry because you’re my friend,” she explained, hitting him in the side this time. He hissed at the contact. His face scrunched up trying to fight the pain. “You have got to be kidding me! Leopold! You are not fine. How bad is it?”
“It’s fine, really.” She wanted to protest and look at the wound but Leopold didn’t let her speak or pull up his shirt to reveal his side. “I was hurt a little. There was no going around it, you know that. But I have been lying in bed since then to heal and it’s gotten a lot better. I can move, no problem.”
“That didn’t look like it was fine though,” she argued motioning towards his side.
“Well, yes, but you hit me! It’s fine if there is no one purposefully hitting me there. See,” He stood straight, opening his arms and jumping a little, “completely fine again.”
“Fine.” She gave in. There was no way she could convince Leo to rest anymore now. She has had to deal with his injuries before. He never stayed in bed for long. She looked around the place again, watching the people walking by, wondering if any of them were his new friends. “So, they forgave you?” She didn’t need to say which ‘they’ she was referring to for him to understand.
“They did.” He nodded. He noticed the distaste in her face, correctly assuming that it wasn’t aimed towards the people around, the place itself or his new friends. She was still mad at him for leaving. “Please, forgive me. I didn’t mean to leave like that. It was just all getting too much. That life,” He gestured towards the general direction of the castle, “it’s not what I want. I can’t keep living like that, if it means living a life of unhappiness. I wasn’t meant for that kind of life. All my life I was being locked away in the palace. It’s not what I want anymore. It wasn’t ever what I wanted, but I didn’t have a choice. I was born into that life, but now I found a way out. I found another life for myself with friends who like me for who I am and don’t just try to get close to me because of my family.”
“So, you think I’m not a real friend, that I don’t care about you and just want to spend time with you because – what, because you are the prince?” Leopold reached for her hand but was once again shaken off as she took a step back, tears collecting in her eyes out of both anger and sadness. “I was always there for you. Always. And not because of your status or your family but because of you, Leo.”
He tried again to reach out and pulled her back towards him before she could run off. “That is not what I mean. You are my friend, Mary. You are one of the few people in that place I actually care about and leaving you behind wasn’t easy. I never thought you were just there because of my status. Hell, you wouldn’t be here now if you didn’t care about me. You mean a lot to me, Mary, and me leaving that life has nothing to do with you.” He wiped the stray tear that had escaped off her cheek, his voice soft. “I told you everything about how I felt in that place, how trapped I felt. I often thought, you might even know me better than I do myself, but you can’t say stuff like that. It’s simply not true.”
“I know,” she admitted in a small voice. “I don’t know why I said that. I’m sorry. And I’m happy you got out, really, and that you made things right with your friends. I’ll be here for you no matter what. You can always count on me.” She looked up at him. They both calmed down and stepped a little farther apart. The close proximity felt too intimate all of a sudden.
“Well, uhm, do you, maybe, want to meet them?” He asked, unsure of what else to say, but she shook her head no.
“No, thanks. I… should probably go home before my parents notice and everyone thinks we ran away together.” She laughed, even if she didn’t quite feel like laughing having to leave Leopold again shortly after finding him, but it was true. She had to get back. “But I will come back tomorrow, if that’s alright.” At least now she knew where to find him.
“Yes, of course!” He nodded excitedly. But then his attention was caught by something behind Mary-Belle. She turned to follow his line of sight. There stood a girl with a round face that was framed by her long dark hair. She was beautiful. By the way Leopold looked at her, that had to Beatrice. Bea, for short. Mary-Belle wouldn’t call her Bea. She didn’t know a lot about her. Leo had told her that all of them were orphans. Beatrice had a sister, but Mary-Belle had forgotten her name. And of course, Beatrice was the one Leo was in love with. She was looking right back at the pair, confusion clear on her face. “Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then,” said Mary-Belle and went in the direction of the Baker Street to find her way back from there.
“Mary-Belle!” Leopold called after her before she had gotten far. “And don’t tell anyone where I am!”
“Of course not,” she reassured him. “Just… be safe.” He promised her to be, but given what they had already experienced, he would probably not be able to keep that promise. He would try though. Or at least not tell her if he weren’t. They exchanged a last smile before they each turned towards where their life was taking place.
All the while they had been watched by Billy and Spike who had been sitting in the perfect position to see when Mary-Belle had pulled Leo to the side, catching Spike’s attention. “Hey, who’s that girl with Leo?” he asked his friend pointing towards the two of them who seemed to be arguing. Spike flinched when Leo was hit in the side, imagining the pain that must have caused him.
“I don’t know,” said Billy, taking in the situation with suspicion. “Looks like another rich girl who wouldn’t look our way twice. Just another one thinking they’re so much better than us. Just look at her.” The distaste on her face supported his argument. “Maybe he used to have something going on with her.” He shrugged. The situation interested him. Her presence alone and the way the both of them seemed to be close spoke against everything Leo had told them. When Leo cradled her face, Billy was convinced that what he had said was the truth. The way that girl looked at Leo held a lot of emotions.
“But what about Bea?” asked Spike. “I thought Leo liked her?”
“Maybe Leopold is a wanker, like I’ve been telling you guys. He doesn’t deserve Bea. Especially not like that.” He looked on, like Spike did, until they went their separate ways. “I’ll be right back,” he let Spike know before walking after her.
When Mary-Belle stepped out onto Baker Street the scenery changed immediately. Men were walking by in expensive suits and the road wasn’t as dirty. She let out a yelp when she was pulled back. A blond boy was towering over her intimidatingly, staring her down. With every step he took, she moved back, away from Baker Street and the people who might intervene in this situation. “Who are you and how do you know Leo?” he basically barked at her. Mary-Belle felt more at ease at his statement, not backing away anymore. Her searching eyes stopped to look at his face. This guy knew Leo. Not a lot of people did, so he had to be one of his friends. She hoped he was. Her change in composure didn’t go unnoticed by him which aggravated him even more. His chest heaving heavily, his fists clenched by his sides.
“I’m Mary-Belle, Leopold’s… acquaintance,” she said studying the face in front of her. His blue eyes stared right back at her. His dark-blond locks were cut short. She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you are?”
He ignored her question. “That back there didn’t look it was between acquaintances,” he argued. Mary-Belle’s eyes left his face shortly to look back to the direction she’s had her conversation with Leopold.
“I fear, that’s not any of your business. Why should I tell you anything anyway? You won’t even tell me your name.” She smirked. His face turned red, his muscles flexing. He looked a lot more intimidating like this. Maybe that was a mistake, maybe she shouldn’t have provoked him.
“What are you doing, Billy?” called Leopold’s voice. Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when ‘Billy’ backed away from her. She looked to where his voice came from. He was making his way over quickly, followed by Beatrice and two others. A pale girl with long dark hair that was pulled back into a braid, who she assumed must be Beatrice’ sister, and a boy with brown skin who focused on getting between Billy and Mary-Belle and talking the former down.
All eyes were on Leo and Mary-Belle when he came up to her, asking if she was alright and if Billy had hurt her. “Yes, I’m fine. I was just surprised. Not hurt or anything.”
“Who is that, Leo?”, asked Beatrice, her arms folded in front of her chest and an eyebrow raised. The other three were standing behind her as if to back her up, metaphorically and literally. Billy had seemed to calm down, but his eyes never left Mary-Belle even when Beatrice addressed Leo.
“I’m Mary-Belle.” She answered in his stead. “And I can speak for myself, thank you.” She smiled sweetly at them. “I’m a childhood friend of Leo’s.” This answer had to satisfy her because she couldn’t think of much else that wouldn’t reveal Leo’s identity this quickly but she was already thinking about a believable story. She’d stick to the truth as far as she could. It would make it easier.
“And what are you doing here, Mary-Belle?”
“Well, Beatrice,” if it affected Beatrice in any way that Mary-Belle knew her name, she didn’t show it, “I knew that Leo had run away from his home situation, so I was worried. But now that I know where he is and that he’s fine, I’ll be leaving. Which, by the way, had been my plan all along, hadn’t your friend here stopped me.” She eyed Billy up and down once more who was still looking back at her. “Well, it was nice to meet you, but I’m gonna take my leave now.” Instead of going around the group to get to the street she moved straight forwards. Beatrice moved out of her way, but Billy remained where he was. She ignored it, shoving him lightly with her shoulder as she moved past him. This time they let her go, but the questioning wasn’t over. Now they focused on Leo.
“I thought you said you didn’t have any friends,” said Jessie. Her tone was not accusing in any way, just curious, different from all the looks he got from the others.
“I did say that. I lied,” he admitted. “I’m sorry. She’s the only friend I have. This is the truth, I swear. She’s the only one at home who ever really cared for me. She cares enough to know that I couldn’t stay there, that I had to get away from that life she’s a part of. That’s also why she came, to check up on me, to see if I was alright. I swear to you guys, that’s the truth. I didn’t tell you because…” He stopped for a second. Why hadn’t he told them about Mary-Belle? “If you had known that there was this person at home that cared about me like she does, you wouldn’t have let me in, we wouldn’t be the way we are now.” And he had wanted to keep her a secret. She had stuck by his side all their life. He never understood why she had decided to stay inside with him when there was so much to see outside of the palace. She did go outside, partly due to his request, but she’d always come back and tell him about what she’d seen. Even if it felt wrong, she belonged to a different part of his life. A life that didn’t fit into this group.
The others were still unconvinced, but let it go for now. He had broken their trust, but his reasoning was understandable, so they would forgive him soon. But now they had things to do. They huddled together revising the plan they had made the night before on how to efficiently shadow Watson before they started the operation.
The next day, Mary-Belle followed the same way she had taken before. Now that she knew where to find Leopold, she didn’t have to stop and overthink whether she should have taken that turn back there or the one up ahead, whether she walked in the right direction or should turn around. The streets were just as crowded as before but a familiar sight made her stop in her tracks.
Men of the castle, dressed in their uniform, were roaming the streets. As she took a closer look, she recognized one of them as Daimler who had been responsible for Leopold for as long as she could remember. They talked shortly with each other, three in total. Then they parted ways. But none of them walked back towards the castle. Rather they seemed to stroll down the streets, their gazes moving over the people. It took her a second to understand what was happening, but when she did, Mary-Belle hurried, taking a different way to get around them and to Leopold before Daimler did.
She kept looking behind her to reassure herself she had lost them or that she at least was in front of them. She had just thrown another look over her shoulder when she bumped into someone. She was about to apologize and move on when the voice of the person she had run into reached her ears. “What happened that you look so panicked, Mary-Belle?”
Leopold looked at her questioningly when she grabbed his arms and looked at him with wide eyes. “Daimler is out looking for you. I saw his men stopping people who resembled you. He’ll be here soon.” She looked back over her shoulder seeing one of Daimler’s men already down the street. “There is one of them!” She pointed him out to Leo. “I’ll distract him,” she offered. “You go hide!” Leopold thanked her quickly before he turned on his heel and ran in the other direction.
She did her best to regain her composure taking a deep breath before she moved into the path of Daimler’s man, looking as much of a fine lady as she was born to be. Her mother had taught her well. “You’re looking for Prince Leopold, have I heard correctly? Did something happen to him?” She faked a surprised gasp, leaning in conspiratorially. “Did someone take him? I had thought my eyes were deceiving me when I saw him in Acton, but it seems he indeed left the palace. He must still be there. It hasn’t been long since then.” She was lucky this man didn’t recognize her as he thanked her for her help and ran off. Not even the fact that she knew of Leopold’s existence threw him off.
While that man was now going to look for Prince Leopold in the wrong part of the city, she remained in the right one. Since she didn’t know where exactly he went to hide, she walked on towards the place she had talked with him in yesterday. He wasn’t to find there either, but she recognized two of his friends standing around there. One of them was the brutish one who had rudely confronted her the day before. Billy, if she remembered correctly. The other one she hadn’t caught the name of but he was the one walking up to her now with a friendly smile on his face. “You’re Leo’s friend, aren’t you? I’m Spike! Nice to meet you! I actually wanted to apologize for this lad’s behavior yesterday.” He pointed his thumb back over his shoulder at Billy who was eyeing the two of them skeptically. He leaned in and whispered, “He can be nice too, y’know, just doesn’t show it in front of new people.” She chuckled. He seemed the type.
“I understand. I guess, I would be reluctant too if a stranger showed up all of a sudden. My name’s Mary-Belle, but you can call me Mary if you want,” she offered.
“Are you kidding me? Of course, I remembered your name. How could I forget? Grumpy over there wouldn’t shut up about you last night.” This caused a real laugh to bubble up in her throat. Spike laughed with her and led her over to mentioned Grumpy.
“Always a pleasure, Billy.” She smiled at him. His expression turned even sourer. She hadn’t known it to be possible hadn’t she seen it with her own eyes. She turned back towards Spike who seemed to be more willing to engage in a conversation with her. “Have you seen Leo by any chance? I was looking for him.”
“Haven’t seen him since he left the cellar this morning, but he’s supposed to meet us here soon. You’re welcome to wait with us.” Spike sent another one of his charming smiles her way which she returned.
“Thank you. I think I’ll do just that.” Turning towards Billy she cocked her head to the side. “So, Billy, harassed any girls already today?” Spike moved to stand between the two of them before Billy could do anything.
“Don’t you think that takes it a bit too far?”, he asked her.
“No, I don’t actually. He cornered me and wouldn’t let me go until you guys came around. That’s not alright, so no, I’m not taking it too far. I was lucky he was actually your friend and not a random person. Who knows what would’ve happened otherwise!”, she argued. Her voice remained calm, but her eyes gave away the storm of feelings inside of her. Spike looked taken aback, so was Billy. They hadn’t thought of it that way.
“I’m sorry,” was the first thing she ever heard Billy say without any menace lacing his words. Their eyes met for a moment before he looked away again and went back to being quiet.
Spike looked from one to the other, wondering if there would be any more or if she had made her point and that’s it. She didn’t say anything either. Rather she opted to lean against the wall they had been standing next to. Spike followed her move to stand next to her.
“So,” broke Mary-Belle the silence, “what have you guys been up to?” Spike and Billy shared a glance, their uncertainty about what to say evident on their faces. “Leo has told me all about the monsters, so don’t worry about that.”
“He has?”, blurted Billy.
“He has,” she confirmed. The boys shared a look, the meaning of which remained unknown to Mary-Belle, but the moment was over quickly and Spike turned towards her. Billy went back to watching the people who passed, seemingly uninterested in the conversation.
“Just boring things, really. Nothing you have to concern yourself with. But we barely know anything about you. Why don’t you tell us something?”
“There is not much to know, to be honest. I’ve lived a fairly easy life, everything dictated by my parents, much like it had been for Leo, but I always had a roof over my head and a warm bed. Whenever we were together, I felt free, like I could just be myself without having to behave the way everyone expected of me.” She stopped talking quickly, thinking back over her words and let out a chuckle. “That was probably not something one should share in their first conversation with someone. Anyways, my favorite colour is blue.”
“Oh, that’s Billy’s favourite colour as well!” Mary-Belle let out a relieved breath that Spike chose not to focus on the first part but kept the topic of conversation light. Her eyes met Billy’s for a second before he looked away again, ignoring Spike who had grabbed his shoulder. “Mine’s orange. You know, when the sun’s almost down but still colours the water. That orange.”
“I don’t even remember the last time I saw that, but it sounds nice,” she admitted. She probably had never seen that, having been held in carriages if they were out at that time. They barely went near the water either. Most of her travel was between her home and the castle.
Billy opened his mouth to add something to the conversation, but stopped himself when someone called out to Mary-Belle. Leo made his way over and asked to speak to her alone for a moment. “Thank you for keeping me company,” she said to the two boys, “both of you.” Her gaze went from Spike to Billy. Then she walked a few steps with Leo until they were out of earshot.
“Daimler found me,” he came right to the point.
“What? Then why are you here now? And not on your way back to the castle?” She tried to keep her voice calm, but failed as it was slightly raised.
“Mother wasn’t informed of me running away. He would lose his job if she knew he let me, so he won’t bother me again.”
“Are you sure? He’s smart, whether you like it or not. He will probably come up with another way to get you to come back. He knows where you are now.”
“He won’t be a problem. I know it.”
“If you say so.” She wasn’t convinced of it.
“I actually have to go now,” he noted. Over her shoulder he could see that Bea and Jessie had joined Spike and Billy and were now just waiting for him. “We will talk soon, I promise,” he adds at the hurt look that flashed across her face. She nodded and watched him go with the others.
Spike turned and waved at her as they were leaving. She raised her hand and gave him a wave as well. A small smile had made its way back onto her face. Another pair of eyes watched her before his focus was taken by Spike prodding him with his elbow.  “Don’t tell me you’ve had a change of heart, Billy!”
Early the next day Mary-Belle heard word that Prince Leopold was to entertain his cousin Helena with a possible marriage in the future. Her mother had mentioned all that off-handedly during breakfast, making Mary-Belle choke on her tea. “I shall meet with him afterwards.”
“I’d assume they already count on you showing up on a day like this. Just be safe, your father had mentioned rising disturbances in the streets.”
“Of course, mother. I will be on my way shortly, then.”
Now she was walking the grounds, having been too late to show Leopold off to his meeting or talk to him about what had transpired the day before and too early since he was still having tea with Helena. Her mind was racing with thoughts about what might have happened, whether Leopold had come back willingly which she doubted but it was an option. Or maybe her worries had been legitimate and Daimler had found a way.
She got distracted by a commotion ahead of her. Palace guards stormed over to a person who had seemed to have jumped the wall. She neared cautiously which turned into confident steps when she identified the person being escorted off the grounds as Spike. She held herself high to convey as much authority as possible. “Let him go!”, she ordered, her voice not giving away the nervousness she was feeling as she stood up to the guards.
“But Lady-“, one of the guards who seemed to be in charge of the rest tried to argue.
“I said to let him go. He will come with me.” The guards who held onto Spike looked from her to their superior who nodded after a moment of consideration. They reluctantly let go of Spike who dusted off his jacket and reorganized his clothes. “And now you should go back to your posts.”
“Yes, Lady Mary-Belle!” They left, but not without wary side glances at Spike whom she turned to next.
“And you, follow me!” She started walking towards the castle. Spike easily fell into step next to her.
“That was amazing! I didn’t know you had it in you to have palace guards tremble in their knees. Thank you!” He looked back over his shoulder to watch the retreating guards.
“You don’t need to thank me. I’d rather you tell me what happened yesterday that Leo is back now.” Her brain seemed to just now catch up with her actions and the fact that Spike had tried to actually break into the Buckingham Palace. “And how you knew to come here! And why you did it. You just risked imprisonment or even a death sentence! Do you realize that? A lot of bad things could have happened, hadn’t I shown up.”
“Yes, but this is important! I had to come here and get Leo. He needs to come back with me.”
“Why? What happened?” She stopped next to the door she had used to enter the gardens. Her hand was already on the handle before she put it down again. This conversation was better to be had out of earshot of nosy palace personnel.
“Didn’t he tell you?”
She shook her head no. “I didn’t get the chance to speak with him yet.”
“Some guy told Bea who Leo is. He was in the cellar when we came back yesterday. She threw Leo out after. But we need him for what’s to come. She doesn’t know I’m here, but I know it’s what needs to be done.”
“I understand. Alright, come with me. He’s doing something right now, but I will make sure he speaks with you.” She led him through the palace halls, ignoring the hushed whispers of the people they passed at the sight of him. “Why did you come alone?”
Spike hesitated. “Bea doesn’t want to see him and I don’t know where Jessie is. Her and Bea had a fight.”
“What about Billy?”
He hesitated again. “He was imprisoned because he accidentally killed Vic Collins,” he admitted.
Mary-Belle stopped abruptly. Spike almost walked into her but caught himself before he did. When she turned towards him her eyes were widened in shock. “He did what? Wait- how… wha- how do you kill someone accidentally? And who is Vic Collins?”
Spike started to feel uncomfortable under her intense gaze and with the questions. He looked around before leaning in and whispering, “Can we talk about this somewhere else?” She realized they were out in the open, easy for anyone to listen in to their conversation.
“You’re right.” She grabbed his wrist and pulled him into the next room. A quick look around told her that they were alone, so she put her attention back on Spike. “Explain!”
“Well… don’t you want to sit down?”, he asked gesturing towards the chairs standing in the middle of the room.
“No, I don’t want to fucking sit down, Spike! Tell me what happened!” Her voice came out louder than intended. She tried to compose herself again with a few deep breaths but couldn’t help the anxious thoughts of all the possible things Spike might tell her now. Even though she hadn’t been particularly friendly with Billy, she never would have thought him a killer.
“Vic Collins was the master of the workhouse Billy and the girls were at. I don’t know everything that happened to them there but it wasn’t pretty. Billy saw him the other day and then last night… I don’t know exactly what happened but he told me it was an accident. Billy hit Vic. His head hit a pile of bricks and that was it. But Vic was one of them, so even if this was an accident…” He didn’t like speaking those next words. Luckily, he didn’t have to because Mary-Belle understood him anyways.
She knew how important these people were for Leo, so she made a decision rather quickly. “Where is he being held?” Spike told her. “I will take care of it,” she promised. “Leo will get out of his meeting shortly. Until then, I will leave you in good hands.” She once again led him out of the room. He was too perplexed to say much more. She was different than what he had imagined, doing that for a person she barely knew. Billy would be surprised, he thought.
She opened the door to the room she knew Louise would be occupying. She introduced Spike to her who was already charming his way into her heart when Mary-Belle left. On her way out, he called after her to meet them at Baker Street 221B, whether she succeeded or not.
Her first stop was her father’s office. The door was adorned with a plaque announcing the name of the person within. She entered after a voice from inside told her to come in. Her father was not a scary person. He might look the way with his stern gaze and his broad-shouldered physique and if Mary-Belle didn’t know him she would certainly be intimidated by him, but the person in front of her was her father who had never shown her anything but kindness.
“Mary-Belle, what a nice surprise!” His features softened as he recognized his daughter. “What are you doing here? I thought you would be at the palace.”
“I was.” She neared the desk her father was sitting behind. It was a big one, elegant, dark, something conveying his status. “I need your help, Father.”
“What is it, Mary-Belle? Come, sit!” He came around the table and led her to sit in one of the comfortable chairs he had standing by the wall. He took a seat next to her, taking in her troubled expression. “What can I help you with?”
“There is this boy…”, she started, but was interrupted.
“Are you in love, darling?”
“No, no, that’s not it.” She had to laugh a little at the absurdity of the thought. “He is a friend of mine, but something happened. He… There was an incident. He defended himself, but while doing so the other man… he- he died. And now my friend is going to get a death sentence because he is poor and the man he killed was a master at the workhouse. But he is not at fault, Father! It was in self-defense! He does not deserve this, so I need to get him out. Please, Father, will you help me?”
Her father hummed understandingly. “That is quite the situation your friend has gotten himself into. But I might be of help. If he is important to you, he is important to me.”
“Oh, thank you, Father!” She couldn’t hold back the smile as she threw her arms around him. When she let go of him, he walked over to his desk and pulled a piece of paper out of one of the drawers. She watched as he wrote something down on it, put it in an envelope and sealed it. He did the same thing a second time, putting names on both envelopes.
“Now I need you to do something. I do not have the time to do it myself, so I’m leaving this task to you.” She nodded, already reaching out for the envelope her father held towards her. “Bring this to Governor Jameson. If he does as it says in the letter, he will give you one as well. Then this one,” he handed her the second envelope, “you bring to the Chief of Police. As well as the one you will get from Governor Jameson. It will probably not be enough, so,” he opened another drawer. Two little sacks were put onto the desk, the content clinging as they were moved, “here is some money. He may not let him out just by the words of some important people, but I know the man. He is as greedy as they come. Give him this. Save some coins to give to the ones working where your friend is being held. I can’t do any more than this, but I hope it is enough.”
“Thank you so much, Father!” She grabbed the coin bags and put them into the pockets of her skirt before she turned to leave.
“I hope you can get him out, darling. And take care!”
“Of course! I will see you tonight!” She held onto the letters as tight as she could without damaging them as she ran through the streets of London. Governor Jameson’s office was not far but the streets were rowdy. She let out a sigh of relief when she entered the house.
The governor wouldn’t speak with her right away. She was told he was in an important meeting, so she waited in the hall. Every now and then someone passed her but they usually didn’t pay attention to her. As she waited, she thought about what was happening at the palace right now, if Spike already had the chance to speak to Leopold and what he had said. Maybe he went with him. She hoped he did. From what Spike told her they needed him. He had become a part of their group. And now she had to work on getting the last member of that group back.
Now that she had time to think, the pressure she was under sank in. She was responsible for getting Billy out of jail and through that saving his life. If she failed, what other options would he have? Would it be over for him then? She didn’t like to think about that outcome. This needed to work. If not, she wouldn’t know what to do anymore.
A young man came towards her. “Governor Jameson will see you now, Miss.” He showed her the way, knocked and opened the door for her to enter.
“Ah, Lady Mary-Belle. How is your father? I would believe he has much to do with the way people seem to be acting at the moment.” The man behind the desk had a round face. He usually tried to hide his receding hairline with a hat which was now hanging from the hat stand next to the door. He invited her farther into the room before he asked what he could do for her.
“My father sent me. He gave me this letter for you,” she explained and held the envelope out to him. He took it with a smile that couldn’t quite hide his surprised expression. It was unusual for anyone to send their daughters for business purposes. He opened the envelope, intently reading the letter inside, nodding along as he read. “I see,” he muttered when he put it down. “That’s quite the dilemma. I will support this, but tell your father he owes me.” He picked up a pen and pulled a piece of paper from a drawer.
“Of course! Thank you, sir!” He quickly scribbled some lines down before he sealed the letter into an envelope. “I believe you have somewhere else to go now, so I won’t keep you any longer, but remember that this won’t come without a price.”
“Yes, thank you again, sir. I will be on my way then.” She took the envelope from him. Now that she had the letters whose content she was unfamiliar with she felt like half the work was done already, but she was unsure of how the conversation with the Chief of Police would go. He might be the biggest obstacle in her way.
Even getting an opportunity to speak with the Chief of Police turned out to be quite the deed. The whole building was bustling with people running around. There were shouts and clamoring. Everyone was restless. She tried to go about it as usual, walking up to the reception and waiting for someone to offer their help. But even behind the reception desk there was no one who spared her a second glance as they went about their business, frantically looking for things and calling people’s names. She stood there for what felt like forever just watching them ignore her. The door kept being opened and closed, the slam filling the air each time it fell shut. And each time it did, Mary-Belle jumped a little. When the loud noise of the door closing sounded again, she decided she would not wait around any longer. Since nobody paid attention to her anyways at the moment, she used it to her advantage and tried to find her way through the hallways to the one person she needed to speak with.
She never thought it would be this easy to get inside the Headquarters without being stopped, but there she was reading the signs by the doors that would tell her which room she had to enter. She blamed it on the current situation with all that negative supernatural energy or whatever it was in the air. It might’ve helped to ask more about that, but now it was too late. The thumping footsteps came and went, but they never stopped next to her.
When she finally found the right room, she was out of breath. The building was larger than it looked like from the outside. But she was also incredibly nervous. Now was the moment that would decide Billy’s future. She fumbled for the two letters in the pockets of her skirt. The paper got scrunched a little by how tightly she held onto it. This was it. This was possibly the only chance.
She knocked. She wanted to knock with force, letting the Chief know that she was no person easily intimidated, but it was a faint, polite knock. A knock in the way her mother had taught her. Still, it was heard, even over the commotion happening all around and she was asked to enter.
The midday sun illuminated the room, its rays finding their way through the big windows behind the desk the Chief was sitting behind. He watched intently as she entered, curious as to what a young girl was doing there at a time like this. “Please, sit down. What may I help you with, miss?”
She did as she was told, sitting down in one of the two chairs facing the desk. It was uncomfortable, not meant to be sat on for a long time and Mary-Belle felt utterly unwelcome even though the Chief of Police gave her a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes though which were accentuated by the dark bags under them. She once again made use of the mask of confidence she put on at the palace. “Hello, sir. My name is Mary-Belle Heavensforth, daughter of Lord Aaron Heavensforth. I come to you regarding the case of a young man who is now in confinement. I may answer any question you have, but first, you should read these letters.” She handed them over, surprised at the fact that her hand was not shaking.
He broke the seal of the first letter quickly, scanning over the lines before he turned his attention to the second letter. He held one in each hand, his gaze darting from one to other, humming in acknowledgement. The content of the letters was unknown to Mary-Belle, so she had to assume her father only gave information he had known from her. He might have left out some details – the letter wasn’t long enough to have the whole story and the plea – so it was on her to fill in any information he might still need and to do anything it would take to get Billy out. “I see,” he said before he looked over the brim of the papers at her. “So, you believe this boy to be innocent.” She nodded. “Explain to me then what transpired and why you think we should let him go.” So, she gave him the story that Spike had told her, about the master at the workhouse, his history with Billy and his friends and what had happened the night Vic Collins died. “And were you there that night? Did you see it with your own eyes?”
She faltered. What was the best way to go about this? “I was not.” She chose to stick with the truth. “But,” she followed up, “I do know this boy. He would not consort to this kind of violence if he weren’t defending himself or the people he loved. And he would never kill someone with intent. In front of you, you have the testimonies of two highly educated and sophisticated men with power. They speak out for his release and vouch for him.” At least she hoped that this was what was written on those pages her father had sent with her. “I vouch for him as well even though my word might not mean much to you. I will see to it that such thing will not happen again and that you may not hear of him badly anymore.”
“It does say here that your father will see to it that the boy may be put under his supervision. I do believe that your father is a man of his word. I have not been proven to think any less of him yet.” The Chief put one of the letters down to scratch his beard in thought. “But I can’t just write you a release form for this boy out of nowhere.”
“My father had guessed you might say something like that, so he gave me this for you.” She reached into her pockets once again and pulled out one coin bag. She sat it on top of his desk, making sure the coins made a sound as she dumped it on top of his papers. He snatched it up immediately, opening it to look inside at the shiny coins.
“That is indeed a compelling argument,” he pondered. He weighed the bag in his hand eyeing the coins with great interest. “Alright, I will write a release form for this boy, but do have your father contact me again in a few days. I need to speak with him.”
“Of course.” She could barely suppress her smile. She did it! She actually did it! Billy would get out and not die by judge’s rule. She looked on as the Chief shouted for someone. The door swung open revealing a rather young-looking man. His hair was disheveled and he seemed to be just as busy as everyone else in the building.
“Please, show this young lady to our front area,” he addressed the man. Mary-Belle felt panic rush in. If he had just betrayed her, taken the money and the letters, she would have lost. She would have fought for Billy’s life without success and would have to leave him to his destiny. As much as she had thought about it, there was no other way. She would be back on the streets with no trumps up her sleeve and the impending death of a boy weighing down her heart. But, the Chief turned back towards her as she lifted herself off the chair. “I will have the letter brought to you shortly. Just wait down there and that boy will be free as soon as you get the letter to the according office. That is, if your father follows up with his promise that the boy will be put under his care. He will be responsible for the boy’s actions, so he better behave or it will be over with your father’s good standing.”
She recognized his words as they were. A threat. As easily as he could get Billy out of prison now, he could put him back and take her father down right beside him. “Yes, Sir!”
She had to wait in that front area for way too long. People passed. She watched the same people that would enter the building leave it again. A cycle that seemed to find no end and still no release letter in sight. The doubt crept in slowly again. He could just take the money and act like nothing ever happened. She would have nothing against him. And who would believe her? She had no such standing as he did. She was already thinking about how to break the news to Leo and Spike and their other friends. She wasn’t even able to do that. She was quite useless apparently. And replaceable. Leopold had shown it clearly. Each time it seemed so easy for him to leave her and just run off to his new friends and go on adventures with them. Compared to them she had nothing to offer, except for her love but even that he didn’t want.
When the letter finally arrived, given to her by the same man who had led her out of the office, she just took it without another word and left. He would probably not care enough to take the story of her rude behavior back to his superior. She had somewhere to be now and she didn’t care about other people’s opinions at the moment. She felt troubled enough, torn between her love for Leopold and the selfish wish of having him back at the palace with her, away from his new friends and the fact that they were nice people who did nothing wrong. They offered Leopold some form of family, something he couldn’t find at the palace. Something she apparently couldn’t compare to. And now one of them had his life on the line. No matter how she felt towards them she could not just let someone die who didn’t deserve it while knowing she could do something about it. And apparently, she could. Or rather her father could. For the first time ever, she realized how far connections and money could get someone. It opened doors and gave you leverage. She had always been amazed by her father. Now even more so. Even though she didn’t spend that much time with him, she’d always admired him, his hard work and how far it had gotten him.
The scene outside had changed since she had entered the building. Where before the streets seemed quite deserted and eerily quiet, there was now clamoring coming from every corner, frightened screams, angry yells, shocked cries. She dared a quick glance down the first alley she passed on her way to where Billy was held. Two men were rolling in the dirt, their shirts already speckled with blood that dripped from their respective faces. Dirt covered all their clothes as they held onto each other, throwing punches mindlessly. As long as they made contact, they seemed satisfied. She hurried to get away from there and stayed away from small alleys the rest of the way.
She was stopped right after entering the building. An arm shot out, followed by a body that moved in front of her. The burly man sneered at her. “This is no place for a little girl like you.”
She brushed over the comment, choosing to stay professional. “I am here on business,” she announced, handing over the letter from the Chief of Police. “I am to get a boy you are holding here.” He snatched the letter from her hand. He took a quick glance over the written words before he let out a groan. “Fine. Jackson,” he screamed into the room he had previously come out of, “get that orphan kid from the cell. We’re letting him go.” He didn’t seem pleased about it as he looked back at her. “You should be careful. He’s dangerous.”
“I am aware,” she answered nonchalantly before she pulled the second coin bag out of her pocket and put it into the hands of the officer. “For your troubles.” She smiled politely. His eyes narrowed onto the bag, intrigued by the weight in his hand. His demeanor changed drastically in a split second.
“Of course. It is our duty to be here for the people of London. Now, if you will excuse me, I have to get back to work, but you will be brought to the boy shortly.” Mary-Belle refrained from rolling her eyes, but gave him a polite smile and nod instead. At least until his back was turned towards her. She doubted he would work now. He will probably go to sit down in private and count the coins in the bag.
Another man appeared in the door. “Please, follow me. He is being held in the back.” The smile on this man’s face seemed way more genuine than the old man’s. He couldn’t be more than a few years older than her. He led her down the narrow hall and down some stairs into a gloomy basement that held the cell. It was packed to the brim with all different kinds of people. She couldn’t find Billy at first glance, the many bodies obstructing her view. The man, Jackson, walked over to the guard by the door telling him what was about to happen. His eyes wandered over to her figure shortly before looking back at Jackson and narrowing his eyes. It took him some more talking to before he turned around and focused his gaze on someone. “You, orphan boy,” he called out catching the blonde’s attention, “you’re free to go.” The barred door rattled as it was pushed open. The surprise on Billy’s face was obvious as he stepped out of the cell. “You have that lady over to thank.” The guard gestured over to you.
A look of confusion washed over Billy’s face as he saw Mary-Belle standing at the bottom of the stairs. He never expected to see her there, especially not to get him out of jail. He was too shocked to say anything as he neared her. Mary-Belle quickly grew tired of his non-reaction. She grabbed his wrist and led him out of the shabby cellar and out onto the street where the people were still clamoring and screaming at each other. A different picture than what she was used to seeing in the streets of London.
Billy got ahold of himself quickly after they made it outside. The fresh air helped him focus his thoughts. As soon as they got to the street, he jerked his hand out of her hold, making her turn to look at him expectantly, eyebrows raised and hands on her hips. “What are you doing?”, he asked, still in that tone like he hated her guts and was spitting accusations.
“You know, you should be nicer to the person who got you out of a trial that would most definitely have ended in your death.” That shut him up, at least momentarily, but he also did not deem it necessary to thank her. He glared at her for another moment before he left her standing there. She watched after him in bewilderment at his audacity. But Billy rethought his decision when he saw at least five people in a fistfight happening over a dead body. It was already worse than he had thought. He walked back over to her, grabbed her wrist like she had his before and dragged her along with him, past the fighting people.
“We are supposed to meet Spike at Baker Street 221B,” she told him after they had walked in silence for a minute. Billy wondered shortly how she came to know this, what happened while he had been in that cell that now this girl he barely knew got him out of his certain doom, but he kept quiet and led her to Baker Street 221B.
They were the last to arrive. The whole group was already present. Bea and Spike were happy to see Billy out as a free man and greeted him happily, enclosing him in hugs. They thanked Mary-Belle for her help before they turned their attention back to him. When the three of them and Leo moved to the other room, she didn’t know whether to follow them or leave. Eventually, she took some steps to follow them but stopped in the doorway. There, in the room, a dark-haired girl was lying unconsciously on the sofa with the others gathered around her. It seemed an intimate situation that she didn’t want to intrude on, so she made the decision to leave them now. She had done her part and was not needed anymore.
A tall man walked towards the room the teenagers were gathered in when Mary-Belle was about to open the door. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her. His gaze followed her arm to the door handle. “You shouldn’t go out there now,” he advised. Joyful sounds came from the adjacent room. The girl must have woken up. “Come with me,” he ordered and so, she followed him back to the room.
The girl that had been previously unconscious was sitting upright on the sofa now and told this man about a place they needed to go to. He nodded sternly and told the boys to follow him, leaving Mary-Belle alone with the two girls. She felt entirely out of place and didn’t know what to say or do. She couldn’t even look at them, so she walked over to the window and looked outside while the other two were speaking in hushed voices among themselves.
Outside was a mess, people running around, swinging weapons of all sorts, handmade, bought or just using whatever was available to hurt others. Just outside the window she was looking on as a man bashed in the skull of another, his teeth fletched. He even seemed to be growling at the man who was lying at his feet, blood flowing out of his fatal wound, coloring the sidewalk a dark red. Mary-Belle covered her mouth with a shaky hand at the barbaric act that had occurred in front of her eyes. And when the man looked up, his crazy eyes staring right into hers she let out a gasp and took a step back. She had seen pure rage in his eyes, no clear thoughts, just the urge to hurt and kill.
Her eyes were still fixed on the curtain. It had fallen back into place but she still had the image of the open skull and the look in the man’s eyes on her mind as if she was still staring at it. A hand grabbed her arm and pulled her away. Her gaze travelled to the person who sat her down on a chair far away from the window. She was still shaking. It was Billy whose place was quickly taken by Leo. He had looked out the window to see what had left you in this state. The crazy man was gone, but the body was still lying there on the sidewalk. Leo kneeled down by her side. His hand rested on her knee as he talked to her reassuringly. Her breathing calmed after a short while as the others looked on. She found words to answer Leo’s worried questions in a quiet voice.
As it was clear that she would be fine the other’s attention shifted. Beatrice and Jessie shared a look that had a clear meaning. They had to go. Now. Beatrice announced it to the group that immediately moved to the entrance. Bea stayed back a moment longer with Leo and Mary-Belle. “She’s coming with us!”, Leo insisted, looking up at Bea from his kneeling position.
The girl did not have the time to argue with him right now. They were in a hurry, so she agreed. “As long as she doesn’t get in the way.
“I won’t,” Mary-Belle promised and stood up to join the rest of the group.
When they left the building, warned by Watson to stay together, she threw a glance in the direction of the window she had been standing in. The body looked different now. Pieces of the skull and brain were scattered around it. Bile rose up in her throat, but she forced herself to look away and keep moving. She promised not to be in the way and so she wouldn’t. And she wouldn’t slow them down either. She hiked up her skirt – which was a very inconvenient choice of clothing for the occasion – and hurried after the others.
She was filled in about the whole situation by Leo on the way. To say she was shocked would be an understatement. “I thought you said you’d be safe!”, she exclaimed in frustration and anger. “That is not ‘being safe’! It’s like the opposite of safe. We are literally running towards the danger!”
“The danger is all around us!”, he retaliated. “We have to stop this! We’re the only ones that can because we know what is happening.”
They came to a stop in front of the entrance to Aldgate Station. Watson tried to open the door, unsuccessfully. It was jammed. It only took him a moment to come up with a different plan. He showed them another entrance, through the sewers. All of them stood around the hole looking down into the dark. Even though it was the only way to get to the Linen Man and Sherlock, a shudder crept down Mary-Belle’s spine at the thought of going down there.
Billy nudged Spike to tell him to go first, but he refused. There was another moment where none of them moved a muscle but then Mary-Belle heard distant noises which made her overcome her fears for a moment and announced, “Then I’ll go first!” She quickly climbed down before she could change her mind again but the growling and yelps coming from up there just helped to reassure her in her decision. Her skirt tore on the way down. She didn’t complain though as it gave her more freedom to move although it was a bad day to have worn one of her favorite dresses.
Surprisingly, the sewers were lit well enough to see without any additional gadgets. It only took Mary-Belle a moment to get used to the dim lighting. By the time she was able to see completely fine, the others have found their way down. Watson instructed them to stay together and to be quiet. It would be over for them if the Linen Man knew they were there. In moments like this Mary-Belle regretted tagging along. She was pretty certain she would die today. How could a bunch of teenagers save the world? Especially from some supernatural Rip that’s threatening to absorb this world? She still didn’t quite get what was actually happening. It was all a bit hard to wrap her mind around.
She kept close to Watson while moving through the tunnel. Sticking close to the only adult seemed like the most reasonable decision. He gave the impression he knew what he was doing which made her feel a little safer.
Nobody noticed the moment Beatrice stopped moving with them. Only when she cried out in agony they realized and quickly rushed back to her. Panic washed over Mary-Belle as she remembered the words Watson said about what would happen if the Linen Man found out they were there. Watson covered her mouth to stop her screams, hoping against all hope that the Linen Man and Sherlock hadn’t heard them yet and thus knew that they were close.
They started moving again after Beatrice had calmed down. It hadn’t taken long but time was precious now. With every second passing the world was closer to its end. Mary-Belle still remained close to Watson while she kept stealing glances at Beatrice to gather whether she would be alright. Every single sound had her on edge.
That the boys were not behind them anymore was suddenly realized when they started crying out. Beatrice did as well, clutching her head and sinking towards the ground. Tears were streaming over her face and she mumbled, “No, no, don’t go! Mum! Mum!” Mary-Belle tore her gaze away from Beatrice when gunshots were fired right next to her. The loud sound left her ear ringing. She only saw a flash of white before it was gone, scared away by Watson’s gun. Jessica ran after it and left them to deal with Beatrice who would not calm down.
The boys’ cries could still be heard as well, Leo’s standing out to Mary-Belle the most. She couldn’t bear hearing that and doing nothing, so she ran towards him. Watson shouted her name after her, telling her to not walk off alone, but she didn’t listen. If he didn’t have to take care of Beatrice, he would’ve gotten up to stop her, but he couldn’t leave the crying girl on the ground alone there.
Mary-Belle ran back down the path they had taken, following his outcries, she quickly found Leopold. He was sitting on the ground, knees pulled up to his chest and his head between his hands. He screams and cries out. Each cry tore more at her chest. He removed his hands from his ears to stare at them as if he could see something on them that she didn’t. She dropped down next to him and tried to talk him out of it like he did with her back at Baker Street, but she couldn’t get through to him, so she just sat there, quiet tears rolling down her face at seeing the boy she loved in this state.
And then it stopped. From one moment to the next, his screams quieted down. He looked up from the ground and towards her in confusion, not grasping what had just happened. Relief flooded her system as she threw her arms around him. It took a moment, but then he returned the hug, desperately holding on to her.
Billy’s voice called out to Leo prompting them to let go off each other. He appeared in front of them seconds after and helped Leo off the ground who in turn helped Mary-Belle. His movements were still slow and staggered like he didn’t quite have a grasp on reality. Billy then called out to Spike who called back immediately. The three of them moved towards where his voice was coming from, finding him on the ground as well. He was already back on his feet when they came to a stop by his side. They made sure he was unharmed, physically at least, before continuing on the way they had gone before this happened, hoping to reunite with Beatrice, Watson and Jessica.
When Beatrice and Watson were already in sight, just down the tunnel, the earth began to rumble, debris falling down, dust collecting on their heads and clothes. Leopold pulled Mary-Belle back before the ceiling of the tunnel collapsed in front of them, separating them from Beatrice and Watson.
When most of the dust settled and she could see clearly again she saw Billy lying on the ground. His leg was pinned under two big stoned and he knew that it was wrecked. “Billy! Leo!”, Beatrice shouted from the other side of the rubble as Leo and Spike helped Billy up. He couldn’t put weight on the leg without crying out in pain, so Spike supported him. They let Beatrice know that his leg was probably broken.
A short argument broke out since Beatrice wanted them to go back to the cellar but Billy refused to leave them. “Be reasonable, Billy,” Mary-Belle chimed in. “The tunnels aren’t safe and you wouldn’t be of much help anyway with your leg. You should rest before it will get even worse,” she argued.
Billy was about to retort when Beatrice spoke up again. “Listen to her, Billy!” She sounded desperate. “And promise me… Promise me that you’ll keep each other safe.” Silence overcame them for a moment as they thought about what they were going to do before Spike agreed and gave her the promise. Leo followed suit. For Billy to agree it took some more demands from Beatrice. Her voice still sounded strong despite her desperation and in that moment Mary-Belle realized what Leopold saw in her. “Mary-Belle?” Beatrice called out to her as well, this time a bit calmer. “Will you promise me, too?” She was surprised that Beatrice wanted her to give the promise as well. After all, she was not a part of their group.
“Of course,” she replied nonetheless, never having thought of doing anything other. “I promise.” With those promises made they went on their way, Leopold going to Billy’s other side to support him as well. Mary-Belle walked behind them. Still feeling uneasy, she kept throwing glances over her shoulder like something would appear there at any moment. Thankfully, it didn’t and they made it out of the sewers without any more incidents.
“Mary-Belle, here, take over!”, Spike instructed you, so that he could move in front of them to protect them. She took his place at Billy’s side. He slung his arm over her shoulder begrudgingly. He didn’t have much of a choice now about who would help him move. He just needed to get home and off the streets, so he would have to get used to the idea of Mary-Belle supporting him on the way.
The streets were ruthless. Never had she seen anything like this. The people had turned crazy. The ones that hadn’t either fell victim to the ones that had or hid out in their homes behind barred doors and windows. Having to basically carry Billy through the streets slowed them down immensely. Each time they came upon someone she tensed but kept moving in the strong believe that when it came to it, Spike would protect them. Most of the time they were ignored though. Maybe they were not interesting enough for those who found liking in eating someone’s intestines. The things Mary-Belle had already seen today were nightmare material for the rest of her life, but she doubted that it would be all. The day wasn’t over yet, the world hadn’t ended yet. There was still time to be traumatized even more.
With each step Billy hissed in pain. He tried his hardest not to scream but some steps were even worse than the ones before and he couldn’t stop the screams that escaped him.
The sight of the ‘Duck and Quiver’ sign was a relief. They had made it. Mary-Belle was out of breath. Her body was hurting from having to haul Billy all the way through the city but she did not dare compare it to the pain he must be feeling. He had to sit down for a moment on the stairs across the street from the pub, groaning and hissing. They had tried to stabilize his leg. It didn’t do much but was probably better than just leaving it without.
“Watson was right,” said Leo, “the city’s turning. With the Rip the way it is every time someone prays for help or wishes, that’s all it takes now.”
“We should’ve stayed and found a way through. We’re useless here,” added Billy.
“You would have been useless there, too,” Mary-Belle remarked, growing tired of his behavior. “I mean, look at you. You can barely stand. What would you have done there? Going back was the best option whether you choose to believe it or not.”
“You-“ Billy’s answer was cut short as what looked like blue lightning soared through the sky. It rumbled, crackled and sissed as it came down from the sky and connected with the building that held the pub. Blue lines danced along the walls as the magic – there was no other way Mary-Belle could describe it – made its way into the building.
“Jessie still hasn’t closed the Rip,” observed Leo. “It’s nearly over. It could be too late now.”
Spike rushed them to get moving again, so that they could find shelter in the cellar and hope for the best. Mary-Belle moved back to Billy’s side and helped him get up as Leo took his other side. They stopped again shortly after as terrified screams came towards them and a bunch of people came running from behind the corner, a weapon-swinging attacker after them. They tried to stop him as he had a nun cornered against her door but without any luck.
Spike didn’t hesitate as he lunged forward and knocked him out with his rifle. The man fell to the ground having lost his consciousness. Spike was rather excited about the fact that he succeeded in taking him down. “I rifled him! I rifled him!”, he announced in disbelief. Leo, Billy and Mary-Belle moved over to him as he helped up the nun who had been cowering on the ground. She told them how the man came after them in the church. She was desperate as she told them that they had nowhere to go. Billy immediately offered that they could come with them and so, they made their way to the cellar together.
Mary-Belle let out a sigh of relief when Spike closed the door behind them and barred it. With walls surrounding them she felt a lot safer than out on the street. They set Billy down on a chair. Without him weighing down on her she stood up straight again and rolled her shoulders to get at least some of the tension out. It barely worked. The stress and anxiety just made her more tense. No rolling her shoulders would help with that.
Sister Anna, as Mary-Belle had found out the nun was called, moved to the back of the cellar with the other two they had taken in while Billy, Spike, Leo and Mary-Belle stayed more in the front. She went to stand with Leo. “How are you feeling?”, she asked.
“I’m not sure, to be honest. That was close back there. You do realize you were almost crushed back then, don’t you?” His gaze was fixed on her, worry in his eyes.
“Don’t turn this on me now,” she scolded. “I asked how you were doing. I am fine, thanks to you, but the Linen Man got into your mind. What did you see? Do you want to talk about it?”
“I- There was blood, so much blood. I-I don’t know. I thought I was about to die.” His eyes glazed over as he thought back on the visions he had. “I was all alone and I thought I was dying.” He didn’t say anything else, stuck on that feeling. Mary-Belle wrapped him into another hug bringing him back into the moment. “Thank you!” He smiled at her softly before his gaze moved over to Billy who was breathing heavily from the extortion that getting to the cellar had been for him. “How did you get Billy out of jail anyway?” She recalled the story for him, stressing that it wouldn’t have been possible if she had done it without her father’s help. “How did he take the condition that he would be under your father’s supervision?”
“I didn’t tell him yet,” she admitted, avoiding the reproachful look he gave her. “How am I supposed to tell him? I can barely be near him without him hating every moment. That doesn’t really make me enjoy his company either. He hates me. I’m sure of it.”
“He doesn’t hate you,” Leo argued. “That’s how he was with me at first as well. Now we’re friends. New people are not really his thing, I guess, especially rich ones.”
“Leo’s right.” Mary-Belle jumped at Spike’s sudden appearance by her side. “It may be hard to believe for you, but Billy is actually quite nice and a good friend. He cares. More than he admits himself sometimes. And I bet he doesn’t hate you. You two just got off on the wrong foot.”
“So, you’re saying…”
“You should talk to him.” Spike and Leopold both rolled their eyes at the groan she let out. They kept looking at her expectantly as she waited to see who would give in first.
“Ugh, fine.” She was the first to break. She turned towards Billy and even got a little shove from Spike to get her to move. She shot a sour glance at him over her shoulder but went to sit down next to Billy. He looked up from what he was doing to focus on her. She couldn’t quite decipher the way he was looking at her. It might be hatred, might be intrigue, might be disgust.
“What are you doing?” He asked after she did not speak up after sitting down.
“I just wanted to sit,” she replied but she could feel Spike and Leo watching her, their gazes boring into her and giving her the motivation to talk a little more. “How are you feeling?”
“Still think we should’ve stayed, should’ve been there for Bea and Jess,” he grumbled.
“Look,” she tried to explain once again, “I told you. With your leg like that, you can barely move. Just getting here already took such a strain on you. If it had come down to it, if we had to get out of there quickly, you would’ve held everyone back. You can’t do much with your leg like that. And if we hadn’t come here, who knows what would’ve happened to Sister Anna. It was the most reasonable decision. I am sure, Beatrice thought the same. Otherwise, she probably wouldn’t have sent you back. She wanted you to stay safe and I bet she won’t let herself get hurt either. You will all be together again.”
He considered her for a moment. “I guess,” he agreed begrudgingly. They sat in silence for another minute or two. Both of them looking anywhere but at each other. “Thank you,” he finally mumbled. At her confused gaze he groaned once more. “For getting me out of the trial, I mean. You’re right. If they had gone through with it, it would have ended with my death sentence, so thank you. I appreciate it.”
“How about we start over?”, she proposed, turning so she could properly face him.
“What do you mean?”
“Just what I said. Start over.” She paused for a second before giving him a bright smile and extending her hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. My name is Mary-Belle.” Throwing all the things she had learned about etiquette out the window she introduced herself with only her first name.
Billy seemed surprised at that. He looked thoughtfully at her outstretched hand before he grasped it. His eyes didn’t leave hers as he pressed her hand gently. “Billy. The pleasure’s all mine.” He laughed a little as he let go of her hand. It brought a genuine smile to her face as she chuckled along. “So,” Billy stated. His gaze was on Leo and Spike who were looking over in a manner that was not very inconspicuous, “do they think I would murder you or is there another reason they are watching us this intently?”
She followed his gaze. The two boys weren’t bothered by the fact that their attention was now on them. “They might. Or they think I would you. We do not have the best history after all.”
“You’re different from what I thought,” Billy admitted which took her by surprise.
“Elaborate.”
“Do I have to?” His eyes found hers again. A teasing smile adorned his lips.
“You do,” she insisted.
“I guess, we met you at a time I was also very suspicious of Leo. For good reason, I might add. He lied to us. I have forgiven him for that, don’t worry,” he added after he saw the look that she gave him before he continued, “But my experiences with nobility hadn’t been very good. I didn’t trust him, so I wouldn’t trust you either. I was rude and I scared you. I’m sorry about that. I thought you’d be just like the others who are well-off, up-tight with a stick up your arse and thinking you are better than everyone else, especially those living like we do. But you are… not like that.” He didn’t explain any further.
“I take that as a compliment, so thank you. You’re not as much of a rowdy as I thought you were.” She squeezed his shoulder as she got up as a way to end the conversation, before she walked over to Leo and Spike.
“He seemed to have taken the news well,” noticed Leo.
She just sighed, hanging her head in shame. “I couldn’t do it. We got along for once and I didn’t want to destroy that right after.”
“You have to tell him at some point.”
“I know. Let’s just survive the night first and then I will tell him. I promise.”
They were shaken out of their conversation when a rattling sounded from the door. Someone was trying to get in. They came together at the bottom of the stairs, ready to defend the cellar. Somehow, Mary-Belle ended up next to Billy who noticed the way she watched the rattling door. Each of them grabbed a weapon. Billy handed her one as well. “Scared?”, he asked.
“Of course. Unlike you apparently, I’ve never seen anything like this before.”
“I’m scared, too,” he admitted quietly before chaos reigned down upon them. Surprisingly it didn’t come the way they expected with the door splintering and bloodthirsty people storming in but with the Sister finishing a prayer. They hadn’t been able to stop her from saying that last faithful word. They barely moved fast enough to watch her turn. Her eyes turned black, no light shining in them, no life, no recognition. The dark lines crawling over her skin made her look monstrous, inhuman. But even as her appearance had changed into something not quite human, her voice remained calm as she spoke to the two who were kneeling in front of her and had been praying with her. They too were overcome with the magic of the Rip, not moving away from her, not screaming as she broke their necks.
She then turned her attention to the four of them, calling them heathens as she neared. Her skin was pale, a stark contrast to the dark veins and her black eyes. Mary-Belle was terrified. The feeling only deepening when the bullet Spike shot at her did her no harm. Mary-Belle was pulled back and down some stairs until she moved on her own. Leo supported Billy again as they ran from the cold-hearted monster that had once been a loving person filling people’s hearts with warmth. Spike stopped to reload his rifle. Even if the bullet might not do damage, it might slow her down. But before he was able to target her, she grabbed the rifle out of his hand and threw it to the ground. Her hands gripped the front of his shirt and threw him into a corner. He didn’t move or make a sound, worrying his friends. Mary-Belle could just watch, frozen in place, as Billy attacked the monster. She flinched with every punch and kick he got before he too was thrown across the room. His body slid on the ground until his head bumped against the wall and he fell unconscious.
Her feet were frozen. No matter how much she willed them to move they wouldn’t. She stood there and watched as the monster came towards her. In the corner of her eye she still saw Leo trying to get between her and the monster before she felt her hands on her, felt a dull pain and everything went black.
She came back to when her body was shaken. Slowly opening her eyes while trying to ignore the searing pain behind them she saw Leo towering over her. The worry on his face changed into relief when her eyes found his. She groaned as she sat up, holding her pounding head. Leo helped her up, holding onto her arms tightly. “It’s over!”, he explained. “It’s over! Jessie must have closed the Rip!” She felt great relief as she clung onto Leo.
“Is Spike alright?”, she asked after pulling away from him.
“Am fine, love,” the boy called over having heard her ask the question. Her face lit up as she realized that he was indeed alright. She rushed over and gave him a hug as well, surprising him, but he didn’t complain. Near-death experiences did bring people closer together. Either way, she had always liked the charismatic boy. In her mind they were friends. In his, too. She just didn’t know.
“And you?”, she asked Billy who was sitting down again. The fight could not have been good for his broken leg.
“Not much worse than before,” he answered honestly. Apart from the throbbing in his head, his leg gave him the greatest pain, but it had done that before, too. She nodded at that. They were well and alive and the world wouldn’t end today. She looked around the cellar once more, noticing the absence of the Sister and the bodies. They must have already taken them out while she was unconscious.
“I should probably go, then,” she started, but was stopped by Billy.
“You should at least wait until Bea and Jessie come back and tell us what happened. You deserve to hear the story, too.” The other two boys agreed. It didn’t take much convincing to get her to stay a little longer. They sat in silence, much needed after everything that had happened. It was interrupted after a while by the door opening. Steps made their way down into the cellar. The two girls appeared, covered in dirt with sad looks on their faces that were replaced by happy and relieved ones at the sight of everyone being there.
Mary-Belle watched the way Leopold and Beatrice looked at each other as they got closer and enveloped each other in a hug. It was adoring, loving, in a way Leopold had never looked at her, but she understood now. Understood how she could never compare to Beatrice who was so adventurous and brave. More hugs were exchanged while Mary-Belle just sat there and watched on. There was a short moment Beatrice and her held eye-contact. The black-haired girl nodded at Mary-Belle as a sign of respect and as a thank you for keeping the promise she had made. She couldn’t justify not liking Beatrice anymore after today, but she didn’t know if that made it harder or easier to let go of her feelings for Leo.
She stayed seated as the girls found their own seats and the boys went back to theirs before they started telling what had transpired. Jessie filled them in about her mind battle with the Linen Man and together they told them about their mother who had appeared from the Rip. It was a heart-wrenching story. Mary-Belle’s eyes filled with tears that she didn’t want to let fall in front of the others but the story and the expression on the sisters’ faces made it hard. She admired them even more now. Having to make such a decision wasn’t an easy weight to bear and then having to live with it.
Soon after everyone filled the others in on what they had experienced the groups dispersed. Mary-Belle took that as her cue. There was just one more thing she needed to do before she left them. She walked over to Leo and Beatrice, hesitant to interrupt their conversation but doing it anyways to get it over with. “Excuse me,” she butted in, “Leo, can I talk with you outside for a moment?” His gaze fluttered over to Beatrice who agreed silently before the both of them climbed out of the cellar and onto the street that had already gone back to some sort of normalcy. People were bustling around, going after their business, others were in charge of picking up the dead bodies and cleaning up after them.
They came to stop a short way away from the cellar when Mary-Belle turned to face him. “What are you going to do now, Leo? Are you going to return to the palace? What is your plan?”
“I… would like to stay here. These are my friends and I belong here, not in the palace,” he announced.
She nodded, a sad smile on her face. “I understand, but I’m certain the Queen will have people looking for you when she notices that you are missing. You can’t stay away from your responsibilities forever.”
He let out a desperate sigh. “I know, but… I want to enjoy this time for as long as I can.” She nodded and squeezed his arm briefly before she watched him descend into the cellar again to live this life for a bit longer.
She turned to walk away, home, back to a life so unlike the one Leo chose to live, but she didn’t get very far before she was stopped by a hand hesitantly reaching out to her. Jessica stood there. She quickly retrieved her arm after gaining Mary-Belle’s attention. “We were actually going to get fish and chips later. You, um, you should eat with us. After all, you’ve helped us.”
“I didn’t really do anything actually. I was probably just in the way most of the time, but thank you. You guys should enjoy your evening by yourselves.”
She wanted to walk away again, but Jessica spoke up once more to stop her. “That’s not true! If anything, you got Billy out of jail! The others told me. You didn’t have to do that. You barely know us, but you did! Please, I would really like it if you would eat with us.”
In the end, Jessica had convinced Mary-Belle and when they were all sitting together that evening eating fish and chips she felt content and happy. Looking around at their smiling and laughing faces she could understand how Leo found his family in this group of people.
She caught the expression on Billy’s face when Leo and Beatrice walked past him to get up to the street. It was a sour one, full of jealousy. So, she walked over and sat down next to him. “You’re in love with her, aren’t you?”, she noticed quietly, following their retreating figures with her eyes until they disappeared outside and closed the door behind them.
Billy’s head whipped around to eye her suspiciously. “What would you know about it?”, he asked.
“Well.” She let out a sigh. “I’m in love with him,” she revealed, “so, I guess we’re in the same boat.” The two of them shared a mutual understanding that the people they loved, loved them too, but not in the same way.
“Should we do something about it, then?”, Billy asked, a mischievous glint in his eyes.
“What are you thinking of?”, Mary-Belle asked with a smile, before Billy grabbed her face and pulled her close. His lips hovered over hers for a moment, enough time for her to pull away if she wanted too, and then he kissed her. A gasp sounded which pulled the two apart. As they looked over to the source of the sound, they found Spike staring at them, his hand dramatically on his chest which made them all laugh. Billy threw a chip at Spike to get him to stop with his antics. He had a carefree smile on his face again. Even as he looked over at Mary-Belle, which he used to do with such a dark gaze, it didn’t falter and maybe, she thought, she could find her place here as well.
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lizacstuff · 4 years ago
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SCK/EDSER asks
My inbox was full again, so questions under the cut. Some of these are from today and some are from earlier. 
(asks under the read more)
Anonymous said: Random things that amuse me: 1. When they met, Serkan didn’t seem all that mad that Eda keyed his car but was way more angered by her disdain for him. 2. I always forget about Eda’s ex because I think Eda forgot about him too. Cenk cheated on her and brought his new gf to break up with her, and Eda was more peeved that he implied Serkan was out of her league. (1/2)
The only time he’s brought up again is when Eda pretends to be texting him instead of Serkan (because Ayfer would be madder at her talking to Serkan lol). 3. Whenever Melo is supposed to be mad at Serkan in solidarity with Eda, she just cannot bring herself to dislike him. (2/2)
I LOVE THIS ASK! 
1. I have always wondered about that. Even current, softer Serkan would get PISSED at someone keying his car. He keeps all of his things pristine. You know under normal circumstances he would be infuriated by that and not let it go. The car would have had to go to the body shop and everything.  I think the fact that he didn’t seem all that bothered, other than threatening to call the police of course, is that he was just so gobsmacked by this insanely beautiful, but also beautifully insane, lady yelling at him and handcuffing him that he couldn’t think straight. The fact that she had seriously vandalized his car became inconsequential. 
Additionally, I think when he found out ArtLife had cancelled her scholarship, he became embarrassed and didn’t want to make any more of an issue about it. 
2. I forget about him too. What a tool he was. It also seems a bit out of character for Eda now.  All of her friends and her aunt knew that he was ghosting her, and they made it clear they thought it by their reactions, but Eda didn’t get it? Eda was ready to marry a dude she hadn’t seen for a year? That does not sound like the Eda we know. Independent, fiery Eda? It’s true that she’s grown a lot, but that much? It seems like they designed that relationship to put Eda in the right frame of mind to kiss Serkan on the podium and then, thankfully, forgot about it. 
3. Yes, Melo is all of us. In the early episodes especially, Serkan could be a real jerk, but I know I never held it against him for long, just like Melo.  None of us can resist him, I’m sure we were all cheering her on when she was the one to give up Eda’s Saturday morning location.  And I love it when she calls him enişte. It’s also sweet that he’s fond of her as well. 
Anonymous said: What are your thoughts about Engin and Piril? Sometimes I think they are cute and sometime I just don't think they are meant for each other. I hope Piril's father brings a new story and dynamic that will help us see whether they work as a couple or not.
My thoughts are pretty much the same as yours. In the beginning I really thought they were pretty flat and wasn’t really rooting for them.  Partly because I loved Engin’s character and I was pretty “eh” on Piril. She was so laser focused on work that I didn’t like when she would try and guilt Serkan because he was spending time with Eda. I found that annoying and I thought Engin could have a more interesting relationship (like Melo!).
Alas, that wasn’t to be, however I surprised myself by actually cheering when he proposed, and I really liked their heart to heart talk in the NY episode. On the other hand I wasn’t really charmed by their disconnect when it came to entertaining people. They were SO FAR apart.  Piril was so uptight and Engin so lacksodasical, I think they’ll end up driving each other bonkers and it’s hard to see how that will work, and I’m not sure it’s something I want to watch all that much of. 
Same as you, I’m hope that Piril’s father turns out to be interesting. What’s going on there? Will we find out this episode?
Also, honestly, I’m still pressed they didn’t call Serkan to come to the wedding. (But I assume that had more to do with how quickly they shoot and needing to have scenes without Hande and Kerem in them. H/K were in tons of scenes that episode so it was probably tight with scheduling and they were doing A and B units etc.) 
Anonymous said:  Hi Liza, I hope you are well and you and your loved ones are staying safe. SCK really helped make 2020 better and I'm glad we have the show in 2021 too! Sometimes the letter count in these asks really get to me because I feel like I have so much more to say and ask but oh well. In this ask i just want to say I hope Seyfi and Melo both get their very own happily ever afters. They're my favs and totally deserve it. Leyla too! That actress is so pretty, I wish we got to see her dress up more!
Hello! I’m well, thank you for asking.  I’m not even joking when I saw that SCK was a highlight of 2020 for me. I’m so appreciative for the happy and joyous distraction it’s been over the last few months. 
I LOVE MELO AND SEYFI.  They are two of my favorite supporting characters, and two of the only ones that have stayed at the top since the beginning. Now Aydan is up there with them, but she wasn’t in the beginning, lol! 
Those two deserve all good things. Leyla is also a great character and I wonder what her feelings are towards Erdem. Does she really like him?  
Anyway, I’m not sure what they might be planning for any of them, but I can tell you I’m more interested in how they might end up, than I am with Ceren, Ferit, Fifi, or Piril.  
Anonymous said: This ask may not be worth answering but I've always wondered about Eda's family on her mom's side. I don't think they've ever mentioned it on the show and if they have I may have missed it but it's interesting. It's most likely that her grandparents died and her mom didn't have any siblings but it would be really cool if she did have a family member who understood her and supported her and Serkan unlike Ayfer.
It would be interesting to know, you’d think she would have some relatives on her mom’s side.  We’ll have to see if the show ever mentions it.
Anonymous said: Ok it may be the overthinker in me but unlike everyone else I'm actually worried seeing Serkan wear his engagement ring. If he and Eda reconciled and he knows the truth about her grandma threatening her, wouldn't their game plan be keeping their relationship a secret and not flaunting his ring. But then that's what the fans want, and maybe the writers have a different idea. I'm freaking out with worry that maybe Serkan and Bulca got engaged! But then it looks like his original ring! let's see!
Anonymous said: I'm the one who feared the engagement ring in a previous ask. Well today's pics/videos that show Serkan, Aydan and Seyfi at Eda's home with flowers seem like they are asking for her hand in marriage. It's an assumption but I feel much better. Lol!
See, this is why I always say not to borrow trouble by worrying about the disaster scenario.  Why would he ask Balca to marry him the day after he sexed up Eda? Even if they were hiding it and using Balca for subterfuge, why would they need to go all the way to engaged to do that? 
I’m glad you’re feeling better. I agree that the video posted today with them all at Eda’s house with the flower and the chocolate looks very much like they’re doing the traditional asking for her hand for serious this time! 
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!
Can’t wait to see them with their rings back on, we’ve been waiting so long. 
Also, I have no idea why they are able to get away with this... maybe Eda found something while investigating that neutralized Babaanne?  At least for the moment? 
Anonymous said: Sometimes I hate being the audience, we know things that the characters don't and I want to yell at my tablet screen. I don't though because I don't want to confirm my parents thoughts that I am crazy, lol! Anyway I wanted to say that I appreciate you and the SCK community because none of my friends watch the show and I'm glad I have people to discuss this with, otherwise I'd actually go crazy. Edser & Hanker & the cast and crew make me happy! They're just amazing and I'm thankful for them!
Me too!  I appreciate the cast and crew AND I appreciate the fandom. There are some very lovely people here, and I’m thrilled that I have you all to discuss the show and ship with because none of my friends or family in real life watch either.  I’ve told many people about it, and sometimes I will drop words or phrases in Turkish that I’ve picked up watching and all they do is roll their eyes at me.  (I enjoy that) 
Also... talk back to that screen, I do. It’s fun. LOL. 
Anonymous said: Thoughts on the fan theory that Eda & Serkan are actually already working together to bring her grandma down? Not sure that I really saw any clues throughout the episode that a scene of the two of them talking together was cut out but guess we could always get flashbacks to show it. I think for me that might make a little sense because how does Serkan not suspect that Grandma flat out made Eda breakup with him? He knows she wants them kept apart, he got arrested and then magically released which coincided with Eda staying away from him, entry of a prince interested in Eda and Eda being chummy with her Grandma 🧐. Or maybe he does suspect all of that but finally understands the risk that she poses to all of them so he agreed to end things? Very interested to see how the show gets us from that heartbreaking breakup to Serkan & Eda being jealous at the restaurant.
My apologies, I know this ask was sent before some of the recent spoilers including the second promo with the... uh... explosion. (sex) So at this point I do not think they are working together, the break up appears to be real. So it will be interesting how the first 2 hours of this episode plays out. I assume the sex will be in the last 15 minutes. 
It looks like Serkan’s tact is to pretend he’s over her and moving on and let that drive her crazy. So I’d say that in order to do that, he has a pretty good idea why Eda broke up with him and knows it’s because of Babaanne and threats against him.
Anonymous said: Can I just say - I really dislike Ayfer. And I just realized that she has had like no growth at all in these 25 episodes. I guess she has an instagram business now? There is such a huge contrast between how they've developed her and Aydan, not only in how they view EdSer's relationship but on their own as well. Aydan is a new woman while Ayfer is still just a hater and a negative nancy about everything. You'd think they'd give her a better storyline with her mother in town but I don't see it
Since you sent this I’ve answered another ask about Ayfer here.  I very much agree with you.  She reacts negatively to everything, I’m not sure why the girls like to hang out with her so much, they have to hide everything and she is like a damp rag covering any bit of excitement. 
On rewatching some of the early episodes, I have noticed that she was negative  from the beginning.  She was even annoying in her first second on screen, when she was waking Eda up to go help with the soil delivery. I hate that shrill voice she uses to say Günaydın over and over again. 
You’re so right that she hasn’t had much if any growth.  Neither she nor Aydan were excited by the Eda/Serkan pairing from the beginning. Aydan was more vocal, but Ayfer was just as disapproving.  And frankly, even though between the two of them, Aydan might have seemed like the more formidable foe to the relationship, Ayfer actually always had more power.  Just because Serkan Bolat is going to do whatever he wants to do and he’s not going to be swayed by his mother’s disapproval, but as we’ve seen in episode 21 Eda is more susceptible to her aunt’s guilt and disapproval. Remember when she asked Eda if she could trust Serkan’s positive assessment of her work because he might lie if he has feelings for her!?! GRRRRRRRRR. 
The other big difference is that once Aydan saw how absolutely heartbroken Serkan was, she completely changed her tune and became supportive of the relationship. Her son’s happiness mattered to her. While Ayfer sat there last week and watched her heartbroken niece and reacted with glee.  Eda’s happiness is apparently not important to Ayfer.  
If indeed the Bolat’s have come to woo Eda, it will be interesting to see how Ayfer reacts.  Will she come around on her own or will Eda have to give her an ultimatum. I wouldn’t mind that, actually.  Give Ayfer a reality check on the way she’s been behaving, just as controlling as her mother. 
Anonymous said:bHey Liza! Thanks for your thoughts on ep25, was looking forward to them today cause you're always rational and I pretty much agree with all you've said lol. The number of ppl mad at Eda/saying her character is ruined is wild, did they watch the same episode?? Eda HAD to end things because of the shit her grandma was pulling, like it wasn't small things she has serious connections, obviously Eda isn't gonna endanger serkan!! I really hope the people being irrational read your answers lol. The only thing that's bothering me about the episodes is that this is supposed to be a romantic comedy and I'm missing that (gotta be honest I fast forwarded thru the Alex ayfer aydan stuff lol) but hoping for some funny Edser stuff at least lol. Also THE PRINCE REALLY DO BE CRAZY lmao
This was also sent before some of the recent schedules. It looks to me like we’re are in for a bit of romance the next few episodes. 
I’M SO EXCITED!!
Anonymous said: the prince is very specifically credited as a guest actor, so i think that maybe he'll only be here for 1 or 2 more episodes max. which makes me think that this arc at least with him directly involved won't last very long. i'm excited about the bombshell to be dropped though because as of right now neither eda or serkan know exactly what babaanne's plan for him is in regards to eda.. and not to mention his other creepy motives that have to do with his dead wife.
I haven’t seen him mentioned in any BTS stuff for 27... maybe he makes his exit is 26? We shall see. 
Anonymous said:  while i understand where serkan was coming from in his decision to not tell eda the truth, it was coming from a purely selfish reason (even he says that) eda's decision is bc of a very real 3rd party threat that would have consequences for serkan's family, business, and his wellbeing. and eda has no time to prepare a plan or anything of the sort; she's basically backed into a corner. i really wonder why serkan is granted so much more understanding in the fandom than eda's character..
I don’t agree that Serkan was coming from a “purely selfish place.”  I don’t remember Serkan saying that and if he did, I’m sure it’s because he’s attributing all his motives to the one he’s most ashamed of feeling.  Because while there was something selfish in not wanting her to know the truth and not wanting her to think of her dead parents when she looked at him, I think it’s clear he was also trying to protect her from those thoughts. He was trying to protect her from the heartbreak of dredging up their deaths, protecting her from having to make the decision to leave him. It was a lot more complicated then just him being “purely selfish.” Remember he inflicted the greatest heartbreak on himself, you don’t do that for purely selfish reasons. 
It would be nice if anytime something went wrong, there wasn’t a knee-jerk reaction to vilify one or the other characters. 
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heathenarmyimagines · 5 years ago
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Title: The Alliance
Summary: Ivar takes his betrothed to meet a very special person before they depart.
Pairing: Ivar x Reader
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Part One
Part Two
Part Three
A/N: I know, I took FOREVER to post this but at last here it is in all its non-proofread glory. I hope you all enjoy it.
His father had once told him about this ridiculous Christian thing called a miracle when he was a child, it was a word he used when describing his washing up back on Kattegat shores.
Something that is not possible.
While he did truly hate the entirety of the Christian religion and those who believed in it, Ivar didn’t know any other words to describe how he had gotten a ship ready so soon.
It was almost purely a coincidence that out of a small fleet of ships that had been used to raid in England last year one hadn’t yet been completely stripped down. So Ivar hired a large group of young able bodied men and a single experienced old timer to lead them in preparing the boat.
Of course the ship being partially prepared already didn’t mean that there was not still a lot of work to be done. They still needed rations of food, ale and drinkable water for those on board to make it to Tunisia without starving. There was also a need for even more essential things like oars, a new sail, blankets, ravens and ropes.
All these things kept Ivar in a constant state of annoyance and stress, none of which was helped by the fact that he hadn’t had much time spent with his betrothed.
While he himself was very occupied with preparing for the journey, Princess (Y/N) was preparing for the arrival.
Going over details with Ragnar and hand picking the warriors she wanted to journey back with them, as well as teaching everyone her language. 
It had already been discussed during first meal that she would teach Ivar privately on the journey so that he wouldn’t have to take time away from his preparations.
At last tonight the ship was fully stocked and prepared to make the journey to Africa. Ivar felt such a sense of relief in this moment that it was only second to the feeling of winning (Y/N)’s hand in marriage. 
He was so exhausted he nearly fainted on the docks.
But he managed to pull himself the rest of the way to his chamber and was surprised to find (Y/N) sitting in his bed.
‘Ah, a pleasant surprise.’ he said as he pulled himself up onto the mattress next to her.
‘Sorry to intrude, I just needed a minute away from everyone, it feels as if I haven’t had a moment to myself since the feast.’ she said.
‘I understand, I am glad you find comfort in my chambers, since we will be sharing it rather soon.’ Ivar sighed as he laid down.
‘Tired?’
‘Exhausted, I’m honestly wishing we could just skip the weddings and just be married at this point.’ he yawned.
‘Really?’ (Y/N) asked as she laid down beside him.
Ivar was surprised by this, a small part of him had expected that now that he was here that she would leave.
‘Yes, of course I cannot wait to meet your family, I just wish the boat was easier to prepare, or at least less tiresome.’ 
‘I understand, Sven seemed stressed when he had to prepare for the journey to bring us here. I wish I could bring you some comfort.’
‘You already are, just being here.’
‘Do you really find my company so comfortable? No nervousness?’ she asked, turning onto her side to face him a bit better.
‘Why should I be nervous?’ Ivar countered. 
‘Lots of reasons, you will soon be on a boat for the first time in your life to meet the family of the woman you will be marrying.’ she said.
‘I have wanted to be on a boat on my way to new places since I was a boy, it is only now that I have the opportunity. If anything I am thankful to you, and despite how tired I am from preparing for it, I am excited for the journey.’ Ivar said softly.
‘I am nervous.’ the princess confessed.
‘Why? I cannot imagine a woman as amazing as you being nervous.’ Ivar replied as he sat up.
‘You are the first man other than my father to be in my life, and he wasn’t in it long enough. I have never felt anything for a man, but I feel something for you Ivar. Something I have never felt before and sometimes it scares me, I think that I will not be a good enough wife to you.’ she confessed. 
‘I know you will be a great wife, Freya will guide you to be the best wife in all of Midgard.’
‘Who is Freya?’
‘Freya is Odin’s wife, the goddess of fertility...and a few other things involved in marriage.’ Ivar explained.
‘Other things?’ the princess asked in confusion as she sat up and began removing her rings from her fingers.
Ivar watched almost in a trance as she reached behind her back began to undo the laces of her dress.
‘She is also the Goddess of things like war and death.’ he said, mouth going dry as the princess began comfortably removing her dress and skirts.
‘Does war and death naturally go along with marriage?’ (Y/N) asked as she finally removed the last of her skirts.
‘No...but she is also associated with beauty, lust...and sex.’
‘Sex? I imagine that is a large part of a healthy marriage. Just another reason to feel nervous I suppose.’ she said as she got back in the bed.
‘Sorry if my disrobing made you uncomfortable, I was becoming a bit warm. May I help you out of your clothes as well...My Love?’
‘My Love?’ Ivar asked, deciding not to answer her request to undress him.
‘My mother used to call my father her Love, when I was a girl I couldn’t wait to say that to someone, but then I began training and it took over my mind to the point that I forgot about my silly little dream.’ she said as she began tugging at Ivar’s tunic.
It seemed she had taken his silence as compliance and decided to just go ahead and undress him, and Ivar was too stunned to fight it. So he raised his arms and let her pull the material over his head.
‘I used to listen to my parents call each other all sorts of things, very rarely anything nice.’ Ivar said quietly as he began to become self conscious.
(Y/N) was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen and her naked body was a blessing to behold, and he knew she would never find such a beauty in his broken bones.
‘I noticed, I always knew that all marriages were not out of love, but all the ones I have seen normally have a bit more...respect between them. I imagine a lot of anger has been between your mother and father, I’m sure they each have reasons.’ she said as she stood in front of him
‘They have plenty of reasons, they share them quite often, I’m sure you will find out once we are officially married. They will grow tired of acting civil quite quickly once they no longer need to impress you. Pretty soon my mother will be complaining drunkenly to you while my father seethes.’ he tried to joke to mask the way he flinched when she went to remove his pants.
The princess saw his tenseness and stilled her motions.
‘I want to see them Ivar...I want to see you. I am to be your wife and you are to be my husband. You belong to me just as I belong to you, please let me see you.’ she asked.
‘You are kind...and naive. I can look at you and see that  you have never felt disgust; true and complete disgust, the kind that makes you want to turn away so that when your stomach lurches you don’t have to worry about adding your sick to an already unpleasant sight. I do not want you to feel such a thing for me yet.’ 
‘I would never find you disgusting, you are the man who bested me in combat. What about you could be disgusting? Your strength, your character?’
‘My legs, more than once I’ve seen women look away from me in favor of my brothers.’ Ivar said.
‘I have never favored your brothers, not to say I do not like them. They are not attractive to me physically, but your spirit....I’ve never seen anything so beautiful and magnificent.’ (Y/N) said holding Ivar’s face gently in her hands.
‘You are only saying that, and I appreciate it, but I assure you once we reach Tunisia you can pick any man you like to come back with us. To satisfy your needs that I never could.’ Ivar replied sadly as he tried to turn away.
‘No man, no matter if his skin was as black as war paint and his dreadlocks flowed down his back like rain, could ever have a spirit as great as you.’ she swore, keeping her hold firm on him, making him meet her eyes.
She tried to make her sincerity pour out of her brown eyes, so that her intended could be assured that he had no reason to feel insecure. She felt no disgust toward him and she had no desire to lay with any man other than the one she was to be married to.
Ivar did not look away this time, instead he just looked at her, searching for any of the signs that she was lying. Her eyes didn’t shift, her eyebrows didn’t twitch and her face didn’t tense up...she was telling the truth.
She really didn’t find him repulsive, and that was a reality that he was almost unprepared to accept.
‘May I undress you...my Love?’ she asked again.
‘Yes.’ he said so quietly that even he barely heard it.
She unlaced his trousers, slowly so that if Ivar truly wished for her to stop he could let her know. Despite how he was gripping tightly at the furs on his bed, he did not push her hands away and easily raised his hips so that she could pull them down.
Once the pants had been removed she stood and took in the sight before her, Ivar’s legs looked truly broken...practically tortured.
‘In Tunisia we have so much gold that if we really wanted we could boast being one of the wealthiest kingdoms in all of Africa, but we don’t. In all honesty...we don’t value it at this point, obviously we know everyone else does but do you know what we truly value?’ the princess asked as she kneeled before Ivar just as she had when she proposed the Matrimonial Fight.
‘We value this.’ she said running her fingers over one of the many scars over Ivar’s right leg.
‘Scars, we cherish them. They show what a person has been through; how they have lived and how hard they have fought to keep living. Some warriors wear scars to show how many kills they have made and how many battles they have fought. I believe the Great and Many Spirits gave you the scars in advance because you are destined to see many victories.’ the princess began.
‘We bleed our people, a scar will show their loyalty and their endurance. I was born into a royal bloodline, so other than minor scrapes from training I have had no scars...until these.’
(Y/N) ran her hand over the scar where he cut her chest when she had proposed the fight, then the one on her shoulder that claimed her as his bride to be.
‘These scars were given to me by you, do you know what that means Prince Ivar of Kattegat?’
Not trusting himself to speak without his voice shaking, Ivar shook his head.
‘It means that I am fated by the Spirits to endure you, no matter what you do I will be at your side. You can not scare me away Ivar, you can’t push me into the arms of another. You are mine to endure, just as I am yours...My Love.’
If her words weren’t enough to move him to tears then her leaning down to place a kiss on the scar she had been touching certainly was.
He tried to cover his quivering lip, but he couldn’t stop his sob from escaping his mouth.
(Y/N) moved to sit on the bed and wordlessly pulled Ivar into her arms, and without hesitation he accepted the affection.
He cried into her naked chest for what felt like an eternity but had really only been about thirty minutes, not that Ivar could be blamed for this; he had fallen asleep.
The princess carefully laid back and pulled the furs over the two of them, seeing as the fire was dwindling. 
As Ivar slept in her arms she thought of how she had found herself here; she had been so desperate for some peace and quiet. Between teaching Derja to so many people with different learning styles and your servants chattering about how excited they were to return home the princess needed a break.
So she devised a plan to get away; a simple plan that consisted of simply telling different people different things. Telling the servants to go to her chambers to sleep while she teaches the royal family and then telling the royals she was going to rest. Then she thought as to where she should go now that she was alone, at first she considered taking up one of the empty chambers but did not want to make unnecessary work for the slaves.
For a while she just silently moved around the long halls until she spotted Ivar’s thrall leaving a room carrying a basket of sheets. Assuming that the room was Ivar’s and the sheets had already been changed she snuck into the room while no one was in the hall.
Ivar’s room was very obviously his, and it even showed more of who he was than he probably realized.
Most of the furniture was placed very closely to the bed so that he wouldn’t have to crawl as much, unlike the other rooms where everything was spread out to fill the space. There was an almost infinite amount of scratches and dents in the wood works of the room as well as the furniture from years of Ivar throwing weapons around during his many anger spells.
The room was empty and full and beautifully scarred just like Ivar, in an odd way just being in this room put the princess’s mind at ease.
She knew that at some point Ivar would come back to his chamber and they would obviously address her being here, but she did not know that it would lead to this. Ivar sleeping in her arms, not that she minded at all.
In fact she soon joined Ivar in the land of peaceful slumber; in her dream she was chasing after a large beast through the fields of Tunisia to turn into the most magnificent fur for her husband, in his Ivar was fighting in a great battle, standing strong and whole and at his side he saw his princess fighting alongside of him.
Both of them would have been happy to stay in their dreams forever, but of course it was not meant to be.
Trya entered the room an hour before the sun was set to rise, just as she always did with her shield and a small pebble. And as usual she threw the pebble from the door toward the bed and held up the shield.
However, on this morning, there were more daggers thrown her way than normal.
Cautiously she lowered the shield to see her master was not alone in his bed, the African princess was also there.
Both royals were, as far as she could tell, undressed.
Trya...good morning.’ Ivar greeted as he sleepily stretched and yawned.
‘Good morning Prince Ivar, Princess (Y/N).’
‘Good morning, I hate to trouble you, but could you fetch my servants from my chambers and have them bring me a courtesy robe, so that I can leave you to your own morning chores.’ she requested politely as she covered herself with the furs.
‘Of course, right away your highness.’ Trya bowed before she left, leaving Ivar and the princess alone.
‘Well this will be our last day in Kattegat before we board the ship, there will be quite a feast tonight.’ Ivar said.
He had no intention of speaking on their emotional conversation last night, or the fact that they had just been in a very obviously compromising position.
‘I have been told, Leena and Kya are so excited that they get to help prepare a traditional African meal. I am more excited to go home and see my family, I’m sure they are worried, I was not meant to stay this long.’ (Y/N) said.
‘Really?’ he asked, to which the princess nodded.
‘When Sven proposed the marriage I agreed to only one week, if only to meet the man I might marry. It’s been a month, so I can’t imagine what my mother must think is keeping me here.’
‘I hope she doesn’t assume we are keeping you against your will.’ he said.
‘No one knows what the mind of a worried mother is capable of coming up with.’ the woman sighed.
The door opened and in walked the one of the Tunisian servants holding a white robe made of fine silk folded over her arm.
‘Princess, Ivar Prince.’ she greeted as best she could in Norse.
‘Prince Ivar.’ (Y/N) corrected as she got out of the bed.
This time Ivar didn’t look away, he had seen all of her last night, and it didn’t feel like he was doing anything wrong now. She had consciously let him see her full beauty last night, and she would also be his wife, there was no reason for him to feel guilty for looking at her.
However, none of that changed how breathtaking he found her to be.
The princess was dressed and politely left to get dressed for the first meal of the day, leaving Trya to dress Ivar.
As usual the room was silent as she helped him into his trousers but this morning the silence seemed pregnant.
‘You have something you wish to say Trya?’
‘No Prince Ivar...just that I am happy for you, in all my years serving you I have never seen you like this. So...happy.’ the thrall commented as she put on his boots.
Ivar thought about it and he realized that she was right. In the months since the Tunisians had arrived he had found himself generally in a good mood. He was no longer waking up to do nothing but crawl through the markets to watch the people live regular lives with working legs.
Now he had important things to do, he had a princess to make his wife and a boat to board; he had real duties.
‘Thank you Trya, I hope my good mood lasts while we are on the ship.’
Soon Ivar made his way to the high table, taking his time to look around and trying to memorize all the little things he never paid attention to. 
Tomorrow would be the last day he would see these things before he boarded the ship to go to Tunisia. From how everyone has been speaking of the feast that would be held tonight, he imagined he’d be far too drunk to pay much attention then.
‘Brother.’ Ubbe greeted as Ivar crawled into his seat.
Ivar grunted tiredly in response, taking notice that (Y/N) had not yet made it to the high table.
He also realized his mother was at the table quietly eating her meal without looking up at anyone, seeming as if she had no idea her entire family was even there.
It was the first time Ivar had seen his mother since he told her that no matter what he would be going on this journey.
Aslaug hadn’t really spoken to anyone really, not even just to fight with Ragnar; which was truly odd. Her silence was clearly her way of showing her disapproval of this entire journey, and it pained Ivar not to be speaking with her.
‘Mother, will you be joining us on the journey? I made accommodations for you.’ he said.
Of course he received no reply.
‘Her mood aside it is nice to see you and the princess are already getting along so well.’ Ragnar said.
Hvitserk and Sigurd snickered as they ate their meals.
‘What are you talking about?’ the youngest asked.
‘Don’t be shy brother, you two are to be wed, no one can blame you for not being able to wait. I doubt any of us could if we were so lucky.’ Ubbe said.
‘The thralls saw the princess leaving your room in a courtesy robe, good for you brother.’ he continued.
‘It has only just happened, how do you all know already?’ Ivar asked in pure confusion.
‘Forget all that, we want to hear about it.’ Hvitserk said eagerly.
‘Quickly before she gets here.’ Sigurd urged.
‘There is nothing to tell, we just slept. She wanted a moment alone so she went into my chamber, when I came in we spoke then fell asleep.’ he explained.
‘He is being truthful.’ the princess said as she entered the Great Hall with her usual party in tow and took her place.
‘Good morning princess, may I apologize for my sons' crudeness.’ Ragnar said.
‘No need King Ragnar, the one thing that spreads faster than illness is gossip. And they, as his brothers have the right to be curious.’ she smiled politely.
The princess looked to the queen and sighed, seeing there was no point in trying to have a pleasant exchange.
‘What will you all be doing today, checking over our luggage?’ Aslaug asked, surprising everyone.
‘Our luggage?’ Ivar asked.
‘That is what I said, I guess if my entire family insists on drowning we might as well do it together. So that I can be smug when we all arrive in Valhalla.’ she said snidely.
Ragnar rolled his eyes at his wife's dramatics.
‘I see must apologize again for my family.’ he sighed.
‘And again there is no need, she has every right to be upset, in all honesty I imagine my own mother will be far worse to deal with and I will be doing a lot of apologizing in Tunisia.’ she said.
‘And there will be no need.’ Ragnar lightheartedly mocked the princess's voice.
From anyone else (Y/N) was sure she’d be offended, but something about King Ragnar was oddly charming.
‘Why don’t you all go enjoy your last day in Kattegat. Say your goodbyes.’ Ragnar suggested.
‘Yes, go through the markets and see how many gifts you will get this time princess.’ Sigurd said.
‘Ah! Speaking of gifts, I have something for Ivar, the blacksmith gave it to me for you. He said he wanted to give it to you after the fight but it wasn’t ready.’ (Y/N) said before wordlessly looking over to one of her servants.
The girl nodded and left to retrieve the gift and while they all waited for her to return they gave their guesses for what they thought the gift was.
More than likely it was probably a set of daggers or some new welding tools that he was thinking about.
At last the servant came back but she certainly wasn’t holding daggers or tools.
‘What is this?’ Ivar asked as she approached him.
‘Crutches, he said he had been working on the design for a long time, and he wanted to give it to you as an engagement present.’ the princess said as Ivar was handed his new gift.
Ivar looked over the craftsmanship and sure enough he could tell that a great deal of effort had been put into each one. 
They were made of bronze, with oak wood handles that had very finely sanded as to not cause splinters and at the bottom there were sharp spikes that he assumed were meant to root into the dirt, but he also figured if he needed to he could use them as a weapon.
‘Amazing.’ he said as he inspected them.
‘Try them out Ivar.’ Aslaug smiled.
The first smile anyone has seen on her face since the Matrimonial Fight, it seemed no amount of her anger could compare to her love for Ivar.
Ivar pushed his seat away from the table before firmly planting the first crutch, making sure the spike was stabbed into the wooden floor before doing the same with the second crutch.
Once he was fairly certain that the crutches wouldn’t slide he began to pull himself up.
This was the closest to standing he had ever been in his entire life, he was obviously not at his full height but he had never stood this high before.
‘Do they feel alright Ivar?’ Ubbe asked.
‘Excellent brother.’ Ivar answered excitedly.
‘Try walking.’ Sigurd said, an underline of malice in his voice.
‘Sigurd.’ Aslaug said in warning, sending her third son a look only a mother was capable of making.
‘No, he is right, crutches are made to help men walk, not just stand around like trees.’ Ivar said, returning his brother’s look.
Ivar straightened up his position a bit more and very cautiously moved the right crutch a few inches in front of him before he used the strength of his arms to pull his top half forward; his legs dragging behind him.
He looked very focused as he did this a few more times until he seemed to get the hang of it, he stood a bit taller as he moved about the room, smiling with an almost childlike glee.
‘I take it you are pleased with this gift Ivar.’ the princess asked.
‘Of course I am, this is the first time I’ve ever seen things from this height, I didn’t even know I was this tall.’ he replied happily.
‘Still the shortest out of us.’ Hvitserk teased in good fun.
‘And you’re still the dumbest.’ Ivar returned in kind as he moved back to his seat and sat down.
‘Never mind all of this, tonight will be our last night in Kattegat before we all board the ship and sail off to Tunisia.’ Ragnar said.
The princess noticed a small, barely there, look of distaste in his eyes as he looked at the crutches at Ivar’s side.
‘It is and I would like to at last spend some time with my fiance.’ Ivar said smiling at (Y/N).
‘Why not spend the day with your beloved brothers?’ Ubbe joked.
‘I see you all too much for my liking, besides, she is better looking.’ 
The rest of the meal was full of joyful banter between Ivar and his brothers, every so often the princess would join in. Overall everyone, with the exception of Queen Aslaug, was in good spirits and anxiously waiting for the feast.
Eventually everyone began to go their own ways; the queen leaving wordlessly as Ubbe and Hvitserk began to speak of all the women they planned to see. 
Ubbe, Hvitserk and Sigurd left to see who could bed the most women before morning, leaving Ivar, the princess and Ragnar at the table.
‘Well now that we have a bit of peace, what do you actually have planned for today?’ the king asked.
‘I want to take her to meet Floki, it has already been too long since I’ve seen him. Between my engagement and his preparing to set sail with Bjorn we haven’t had the time to visit.’ Ivar answered as he grabbed his crutches and pulled himself up.
Again (Y/N) noticed a look of distaste come over Ragnar’s face as he looked at Ivar stabling himself; and again she decided not to say anything.
‘Come Princess, let us start our last Viking outing.’ the prince invited.
(Y/N) stood and her servants bid her farewell before heading to the kitchens to prepare tonight’s feasts, and Bintu went to follow behind her princess when she was stopped.
‘Bintu, it is our last day in this country before we return home, don’t you want to spend it doing something you enjoy?’ the princess asked.
‘I enjoy keeping you safe.’
‘I can think of another person you’d rather spend your time with.’
Bintu was visibly flustered as she looked around for a second to see if anyone else had heard (Y/N)’s teases.
‘Hush now, there is nothing else for me to do...with anyone.’ she said quickly, hoping no one would be able to translate it fully.
‘Then go on and enjoy a day of peace alone, see what else this country has to enjoy...I want you to have fun today.’
Bintu looked ready to argue some more but her princess would not let her.
‘I’m just going to keep teasing until you go, and you know it.’
‘All these years later and you still exhaust me just as you did as a child.’ she sighed in defeat as she left.
‘What did you say to her?’ Ivar asked.
‘Nothing she wasn’t hoping I’d say; trust me she will be enjoying her day with a mutual friend of ours.’ (Y/N) smiled.
‘Sven.’ Ivar and Ragnar grinned.
It was true that despite Bintu’s determination to keep her activities with the old man a secret Sven was proudly boasting their affairs to anyone who would listen.
‘Go on now you two, I will busy myself elsewhere. Ivar, be sure to send Floki and Helga my love.’ Ragnar said.
Finally Ivar and (Y/N) made their way out onto the markets and they were met with an almost immediate silence.
It would seem everyone was in shock to see Ivar’s face without having to lower their heads.
‘Come this way, to the stables.’ Ivar said, trying to ignore all the attention on him as he led the princess through the separating crowd.
‘Why must we go there?’
‘Floki doesn’t live in Kattegat, even if my legs worked it would still take days to get there on foot.’ 
‘Is your friend a recluse?’
‘Of course not, he is just…’ Ivar paused to find a word to describe the man that helped raise him.
‘He is just Floki, there is really no other way to describe that old man. He prefers to be in the company of the Gods over other humans, you will know when you meet him and meeting him is something no one ever forgets.’ he settles.
The princess hummed in response.
‘I believe I have heard of the name Floki...is he a man of power?’
‘Floki seeks no point in power, he feels he hasn’t the mind for it. In his eyes the Gods made him to follow; to follow their will and the men they favored.’
‘If not a man of power who is he? Who is he to your people and to you.’
Ivar laughed as the two of them reached the stable and he gave a boy direction to set up a cart to carry them to Floki’s estate.
‘Floki helped to raise me...whenever my parents fought which as you’ve seen to be often, mother would take me to Floki because she didn’t want me to be as my father.’
‘Why? King Ragnar seems to be a very good man.’
‘He is; the greatest and most famous man in our country, but he is not a conventional Viking. He has questioned and even denied his own belief in the Gods, befriended and protected Christians. Even now under his tunic he bears the cross of a Priest named Athelstan, the first Chritian he’d ever spoken to.’ Ivar explained. 
The princess took a minute to process this information as she and Ivar were helped into the cart.
‘This tells me who he is to you, but it doesn’t tell me who this man is to your people.’
‘Floki is our boat builder, his ship took Ragnar to England for the very first time, every man who calls himself a builder has consulted with Floki. His craftsmanship is only second to the dwarves. The Gods gave him the ability to pick the best trees and the foresight to know exactly how to build a boat that could cut through water like a knife though fresh bread.’ he answered.
‘So he is the man who created those ships, I must say I’m excited to meet him. My people… we see many visitors and wanderers; and a great many just jump on ships to far away places, but we have no way to travel independently. The boats we will receive in this alliance could change our way of living.’ (Y/N) said.
‘And the gold we will receive from your country will help us fund raids and wars that have long been fated.’
As they spoke the cart carried them out of Kattegat and the princess looked at this new scenery in wonder. There were so many trees here, and the earth was so moist compared to the almost desert-like village she lived in.
‘I wish we had known about the abundance of trees you had here, I imagine we will be trading some of our gold for wood.’ she said absentmindedly.
‘Do you not have trees in your country?’ Ivar asked in mild disbelief.
‘Of course we do, just not many, not enough to build anything.’ 
At last the cart stopped and the thrall helped them get off safely, making sure not to be too rough while sitting down the most feared prince in all of Kattegat.
‘Thank you for delivering us safely, take this as a token of my grace. Please be sure that the horse is rested while we visit.’ the princess said as she handed the thrall a golden ring from her finger.
‘Princess I can not possibly-’
‘Take it, you won’t find too many charitable royals boy.’ 
With swift reflexes Princess (Y/N) threw her dagger at the sudden voice that came from behind her.
The dagger landed at the feet of an old man; he stood more than six foot but was lightly leaning against an even taller walking stick. his eyes were lined with charcoal and his bald had was covered in faded tattoos.
His very presence made the princess feel as if she, a royal princess of a rich kingdom, was no more than a child hiding behind the huts of Tunisia once more.
‘Whew! I see this one does not take kindly to surprises.’ the man chuckled madly.
‘You can't fault her for defending herself, you are quite a horrid sight to a young woman.’ Ivar said with a glare.
‘That may be true, how many daggers has she thrown at your crippled arse?’ the old man snapped back in response.
(Y/N)’s eyes were nearly out of her head, she had never heard Ivar speak so rudely to anyone, nor had anyone ever been so disrespectful to a royal in her presence. 
Before she could voice her dissatisfaction Ivar and the old man began to laugh wildly.
The old man threw aside his stick and moved towards Ivar and wrapped his arms around him.
‘Floki!’ Ivar said cheerfully.
‘Ivar the Boneless.’ the man smiled as he let go of the prince.
‘I want you to meet someone very special, Floki; this is (Y/N) Princess of Tunisia. She is to be my wife.’ Ivar said proudly.
‘I know who she is, some gossip of Kattegat can still reach this old boat builder’s ears. I hear she gave you one hel of fight.’ Floki said.
‘She did, but I would be disappointed if she hadn’t, I wanted her to meet you before we depart for Africa.’
‘I’m glad for it Ivar, let me get a better look at her.’ 
The old man placed his hands on her shoulders and held her in place and just looked down at her.
Floki really was a very tall man, even though she could tell he was slouching and not at full height he was still stood almost a head over her.
His eyes were lined thickly with coal, but nothing could hide the age on the man’s face, it was obvious to the princess that this man had lived a hard life and known much loss and great sadness.
‘I can see she has the same sight as me… she is reading me just as I’m reading her. What do you see princesses?’ he asked.
‘I see that you wear coal on your eyes to hide the sadness in them, your scalp is tattooed, something that I’m sure pained you, but it was far from your truest pain. You are old, and a great many heartbreaks can be gained in a long life lived hard.’ she answered.
Floki smiled and closed his eyes as he let out a sigh.
‘What do you see in me, Floki?’ the princess asked in return.
‘I see that you have been raised to keep face in front of people, but you are more than a princess; you thirst for blood. You want to fight on the battlefield for glory, but you have never seen it. You are naive to how horrid it is and you know it...but still you want it.’ Floki guessed.
She was shocked to have what she considered to be her deepest desire exposed by a stranger.
‘I do, but if the spirits are kind to my people I will never see the reality of war.’ she said once she regained her composure.
‘She will either be the best thing that happened to you Ivar, or she will be the end of everything. Only time will tell which one.’ he said gravely as he looked between the young royals.
A pregnant silence filled the atmosphere and for a moment neither Ivar or (Y/N) knew what to say, thankfully Floki laughed.
‘Come on, Helga is going to want to send you off to another country ten pounds heavier.’ the man said as he dragged Ivar off toward the small house.
(Y/N) picked up Ivar’s crutches and Floki’s walking stick before she followed behind the two Norsemen and thought to herself that Ivar was right.
She would never forget meeting this man.
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kenbunshokus · 5 years ago
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this is a (super late) update to this fic rec post! i was planning to just keep editing and updating that post, but it’s been so old it no longer appears on tumblr search system and all, so here we are. be ready for some old school zosans in the mix
all complete
absolute favorites will be noted with a ♡
list will be updated as i find more
story count: 30 fics
last update: jan 5th 2020
CANON-VERSE
Goings On by clarify  ♡
Zoro and Sanji understand each other, and sometimes have a very similar sense of humor. Even though they're worlds ahead of most, sometimes they can't help but to act their age.
easily one of my favorites. zoro and sanji are completely in character, being themselves and comfortable in each other’s spaces. for anyone who thinks zoro and sanji can’t get along in canon, this fic can easily prove them wrong.
Part Timer by 8ball ♡♡
Sanji really, really doesn't want to give Zoro a job at his restaurant. Zoro doesn't really even want to work there in the first place, but, well, there’s this thing with Sanji, and this thing with feelings and the whole thing is pretty damn stupid all together.
Zeff just wants grandkids. He’s too old for this bullshit anyways.
a wonderful, heart-wrenching, roller coaster ride of a post-series fic. this fic is not just a mere fic — it’s a zosan magnum opus with guest appearances by so many other characters, lots of crew hijinks and a must-read for everyone who craves for a happy ending for these good boys.
Say It Again by 8ball
Zoro tells Sanji how he feels. And then again. And again. 
since we’re talking about 8ball i just want you to know i’d rec everything they’ve ever written, but special mention to say it again — a classic miscommunication trope fic done well where the miscommunication stems from fundamental misunderstanding of each other’s principles and views instead of just some plot-convenient coincidences. and soft zoro. god, he is soft.
The Wedding Night by cuethe-pulse (lj)
Zoro had never expected any of this.
major character death warning. don’t let the first few scenes fool you. note the warning; the last few lines were like a punch in the gut for me, except, you know, the good kind of punch. also, a quick rec of a drabble by the same author to soothe the pain after this one.
Roronoa Zoro: World’s Greatest Bug Killer by insaneidiot ♡
Sometimes, Zoro's life really sucks. He should've known better than to make fun of Sanji's bug phobia, though...
zoro’s internal monologue is hilarious  — until today, this author is still my go-to expert on zoro’s voice, especially his more sarcastic side.
Quitting’s Easy by insaneidiot
Sanji decides to quit smoking. This is not quite so easy as he thinks it will be. Also, his crewmates (excluding Robin and Nami, of course!) are assholes.
fun, fun strawhat hijinks and oblivious sanji. the crew dynamics and especially sanji’s voice are pitch perfect. there’s a hint of luffy/nami that you can easily scroll past if it’s not your thing.
I can’t stop thinking that i can’t stop thinking by hieiandshino ♡
In which Brook changes tactics and Zoro is not amused. Everyone else is, though.
holy shit is this fic hilarious. i love comedy fics that manage to slip in thoughtful observations and character study in between the hijinks, and this fic pulls that off with flying colors. 
The Walls See All by threesipsmore
Reiju hides a snail cam in her brother's room.
fun short fic from reiju’s pov. there’s never enough zosan set in whole cake island arc and this fic delivers.
Stormbird by Judin ♡
The Straw Hats' first landing in the New World is on Arashi Island, where it looks like they'll be spending a fun week attending the local festival and making new friends. Until they spot a strange pirate ship in the harbour, and Sanji starts behaving oddly. The Straw Hats become entangled with the mysterious Gently Pirates, a crew that harbour many secrets, and whose captain is a man out of Sanji's past who has the power to tear the Straw Hat crew apart. 
it cannot be overstated how wonderful this fic is, and how it could’ve fit into the canon just nicely, like a better-written one piece movie, except with zosan. not only are sanji and zoro in character, every strawhat gets a spotlight and has pitch-perfect voices. brook is especially lovely in this fic.
Unintended Consequence by itsmylifekay
A group of marines charge, Zoro slices through them, and in that instant Sanji feels his own eyes grow wide. Because there, on the arm now outstretched towards him, steel glinting in hand, is the stupid bracelet he’d given Zoro. The bastard is actually wearing it.
there’s a reason this is the most kudo-ed zosan fic on ao3 right now — it’s so soft without being ooc, and there’s a quiet undercurrent of affection laid throughout the fic that will warm you up from the insides.
Somewhere Between Sorrow and Bliss by srididdledeedee
Sanji has never cared for winter.
He can see himself, is the thing. There are bits and pieces that poke through, but it’s not all him. It’s like staring in a fractured mirror. He knows, intellectually, that the person staring back at him is himself, but his face is splintered and his shape is distorted and his body is wrong.
a fantastic character study on trans!sanji and how he comes to terms with his identity with the help of his crewmates. supportive strawhats are always a lovely addition to a zosan fic
Give In To Love by libbylune
Zoro knows better than to think about it too much, but between the rowdy festivals and ancient unexplained temples on this island, it's hard to forget about wanting Sanji.
i love how this fic puts as much focus on the boys after the confession as it does before the confession. a good case fic with its own unique island adventure and i’m always a sucker for soft!zoro
Laundry by libbylune
Dealing with Sanji makes Zoro develop a lot of opinions about clothes.
there’s absolutely nothing hotter than bi!sanji who’s completely comfortable with his gender identity and sexuality. also gay disaster zoro fumbling his words whenever sanji is around is 1) accurate 2) hilarious.
Language of Swords by HaveMyWeedCookies ♡
It took them for a while but finally, Zoro asked if Sanji wanted to hold his sword.
i love fics that explore zoro’s relationship with his craft and his swords, and adding zosan into the mix is something i didn’t know i needed. an interesting outsiders pov zosan in the pov of zoro’s swords.
Ghost of a Chance by sabershadowkat
“I know, for sure, that I didn’t expect to miss everyone so much, including you.” Sanji cut a glance at Zoro and rephrased correctly, “Especially you.”
this fic handles tropes that are usually associated with character death fics, but manages to end it with a happy ending. zoro’s devotion here is heart-wrenching.
Idiot Romance by sabershadowkat
"This has to be a joke," Sanji muttered, poking at the colored petals. Zoro couldn't have just given him flowers.
a classic  — this is literally the first zosan fic i’ve ever read — and a lovely one at that. sanji is oblivious and zoro attempts romance, not that zoro ever needed to.
festival night by thisislegit
“ANOTHER FEAT BY THE WORLD’S STRONGEST MAN, JORIRI.” The woman turned to Mr. Mohawk and with faux sympathy said, “Oh! Sorry, sir. Maybe next time. We can’t always beat the best, but we can do our best and that’s what matters. Do we have any other takers? ANY OTHER TAKERS READY FOR THE STRONG MAN CHALLENGE? HOW ABOUT YOU SIR? MADAM? YOU OVER THERE? ARE YOU INTERESTED?”
“What kind of shit name is Joriri,” said Zoro and Sanji in unison.
i’m an absolute sucker for fics that have zoro and sanji simply hanging out and enjoying each other’s company, comfortable in a way they couldn’t with their other crewmates, and this fic exemplifies that. just them being little shits and having fun with one another.
No Victory in Hesitation & the Past Has Its Lessons by EudaimonErisornae & vageege
Zoro has a lot of things he wants to say to Sanji, but he just needs one more day. || Zoro tries to fix a mistake he made in the past.
major character death warning. i died a little bit inside after reading this tbh. there are some devil fruits-explained time travel hijinks, but mostly it’s this looming, grim inevitability of death that’s written so pervasively throughout the fic that really got me.
Imperatives by dollcewrites
Zoro is confident in saying that Sanji is a man who doesn’t do what he’s told. Which is why, when a command accidentally slips from Zoro’s lips during foreplay, he is expecting to hear the cook’s scoff as he continues to do what he pleases.
i don’t tend to do pwp, but this isn’t just one — it’s a completely in-character piece about their relationship and dynamics.
when you say by bluewalk ♡
It's a long time in coming. Usopp can promise, but.
this fic is as much sanuso as it is zosan, and usopp here is — still very much usopp, but also a very beautiful take on his character as someone who spent a lot of time behind sanji’s back, and realizes that when he watches sanji’s back, he gets to see zoro’s, too.
a complete guide to falling in love by ThousandSunny
Sanji was trained in the Bridal Arts; this does not go unnoticed by the rest of his crew.
while the main ship is still zosan, the fic also focuses a lot on zoro and sanji’s relationship with the rest of the crew, and it’s one of those fics that really makes you realize how much of a family the strawhats is. a lovely read all around.
destructivity is a poison that run through our veins by wasteofmind
Zoro thinks that, someday, they are going to kill each other.
a dysfunctional take of their relationship. it’s fascinating in the same way a car crash is fascinating  — there’s an undercurrent of something violent, something visceral. this is one of the fics that inspired me to write migratory animals.
ALTERNATE UNIVERSE
Ocean’s Child by 8ball  ♡
Here's the truth: Zoro couldn't swim. He fell in the water and sank like a stone because there had never been anyone to teach him how to move his arms. He forgot that if he screamed for help the water would get in his mouth, and he even opening his eyes hurt.
Here’s the other truth, the one that stays a secret: a mermaid saved him.
a fascinating retelling of the one piece canon with mermaid!sanji. it feels a lot like a love letter to the seas, and it’s mesmerizing how sanji’s mermaid backstory is seamlessly weaved into the one piece canon.
with you by Cirro
How to find your life partner in three easy steps: 1. Punch them in the face 2. Insult their cognitive abilities 3. Embarrass them so much they agree to marry you
a wholesome two-part modern au series. my personal favorite is the second part, where sanji brings zoro home to meet zeff — complete with the two of them teasing sanji in their own ways.
The Proper Reaction (or What To Do When Your Son Brings His Boyfriend Home by three_days_late
Holidays at the Baratie were always hectic, but it's nothing Zeff can't handle. Sanji's new boyfriend, on the other hand...
on the topic of meet-the-family: the only thing more fun than zoro meeting zeff is zoro meeting zeff and the entirety of baratie staff. also includes one of my favorite line about bi!sanji: “sanji loves nice girls and bad boys”.
Exclusive by cuethe-pulse
Zoro loves Sanji, Sanji loves Zoro. Zoro wants to be exclusive, so Sanji should, too. Right?
this is a circus/bakery au. yes, you read that right, and yes, it works. i went into this fic with a lot of doubts and came out very satisfied with how fleshed out everyone in this au is, and i’m forever in awe with how the author can set up an entirely separate, vivid universe with so few words.
Delivery by styx_in_the_mud
Sanji is stuck delivering pizzas when Patty is out of commission for a while. Zoro likes to order pizza after training. Both of them are sort of idiots, but Zoro can be smooth as fuck if he puts his mind to it.
a fun, in-character au with good ol’ banter and cute get-together.
The End of It All by xpiester333xx
Humans have been forced underground due to the effects of a chemical weapon that has made surface life impossible. Sanji lives in one of these underground colonies and though he dreams of bigger things his life has been mundane; spent following strict rules and obeying higher commands. Or it was, until a stranger shows up and changes everything.
the author labelled it as sci-fi au, but I personally think it’s more dystopian-like? either way, while this fic is on the long side, it manages to keep everyone in character until the very end, which is something that can’t be said for a lot of fics.
well, there we go! feel free to drop me an ask if you want to rec me fics or ask for a more specific/themed rec list; i’ll also update this post regularly !!
i also have an ao3 donutsandcoffee if you want to see my take on these dorks o/
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degenerate-perturbation · 6 years ago
Text
Ultimate Good Omens Fic Recommendations
I read the entire AO3 archive. I started sometime in November 2018 and read all the way back to 1999. I did not read every story, but I tried. Here are my recommendations.
(Most Good Omens fic is very good, which is why I bothered to read the entire archive instead of just scrolling through the first few pages, despairing, and giving up, which is what I usually do when I read fanfiction. So if your fic is not here, congratulations! I probably still read it and liked it but this post is already very long.)
My Absolute Top Favorites
Deus Ex Machina by clockwork_spider -  Angels really aren't the most sentimental bunch, so when Crowley was escorted back to Hell, Aziraphale's initial reaction was to do nothing. But let it be known that God moves in ineffable ways.
Tryst On a Hot Church Roof by Macdicilla -  Crowley has some fantasies. Aziraphale encourages him to explore them and not to be embarrassed. Neither of them can really take roleplay seriously but they still have a good time.
Re-Recalled by Jennistar -  Halfway through an argument, Aziraphale gets accidentally discorporated and doesn't come back. Crowley does the sensible thing and panics.
The love that dare not speak its name by Lunasong365, sous_le_saule  -  London, late nineteenth century. Aziraphale finds that time moves slowly while waiting for Crowley to wake up. Meeting Oscar Wilde should break the monotony. But perhaps it will bring more of a change than the angel anticipated…
Safe Haven by JAMoczo -  A remix of Prodigal Son: January 1945; Aziraphale has a crisis of Faith.
(The rest below the cut, in convenient categories)
General
Five Things That Never Happened To Aziraphale by imperfectcircle - Five things.
Down to the Earth with Violence by Daegaer -  Crowley and Aziraphale meet after the end of the world.
Coming to an Arrangement by Daegaer  - The long, slow path to the Arrangement.
Act of Redemption by copperbadge -  After the world failed to end, Crowley got depressed.
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot by xylodemon -  In which Crowley starts over. Again, and again, and again.
A Few Conversations, Which are Mostly Related to Christmas by xylodemon - In which there is cocoa, conversation, and more Christmas cheer than Crowley think is strictly necessary.
The Ghost and A. J. Crowley by Argyle -  A heartwarming tale of grisly ghost plants and fearsome floral apparitions. Has Crowley finally met his match? Will Aziraphale come to the rescue? And just how difficult is it to remove dirt stains from white carpet?
Five Meetings (Steps in the Fall and Rise to Grace) by icarus_chained -  GO Noir AU. Bad things are brewing in the City of Angels, and one tired ex-cop is stuck in the middle of it.
How to Make Friends and Influence Flora aka Radio Four Never Mentioned This by WinterEyes -  The Fear of Crowley isn't all it's cracked up to be
Suntne Angeli? by Macdicilla -  Adam answers the question of whether angels need to eat and drink, and accidentally creates a major change in the (pants) fabric of reality.
Field Agents by Lunasong365, sous_le_saule -  How did ‘Human’ Resources (both Demonic and Angelic) recruit Crawly and Aziraphale to be field agents? Is it a coincidence that they both found themselves back on Earth after leaving the Garden of Eden?
The Devil Went Down to Georgia by ImprobableDreams900 -  Now Crowley went down to Georgia, he was looking for a soul to steal, cause he was in a bind and way behind and he was willing to make a deal.
Major Failings by irisbleufic -  It was quick and messy, the sort of thing that took you off-guard no matter how many beheadings, torture stints, and vivisections you'd seen otherwise. Actually, Crowley wasn't certain how many of any of those he'd actually seen. He tended to lower his eyes or look away at the last second. This was also a major failing in a demon.
Pre-Relationship
Gavotte by bunnyfication -  Crowley sleeps a decade or a few, and suddenly Aziraphale is dressing fashionably? And asking him to a dance at a club with a "select clientele"? Clearly something is amiss.
Something About Flamingos by Plumbeo -  Aziraphale and Crowley have a petty, stupid, pointless fight. After four days of not talking to each other, the angel decides to break the silence - in an equally stupid way.
it giveth light unto all in the house (the let's have some wine remix) by pocky_slash -  There's loving Crowley the way he loves their waiter at the café and the ducks in St. James Park and linzer tarts and there's—well.
growing season by ghostsoldier - In which Aziraphale kills plants, and Crowley is a generous sort of demon.
Afternoons and Espresso Spoons by Kirathaune
Home by LysanderandHermia - Crowley has a realization, and it's about the angel drooling on the couch while he sleeps.
Sweet Dreams, Angel! by sous_le_saule -  Aziraphale’s never been able to sleep. Crowley takes up the challenge.
Be Ye Therefore Merciful by AmberDiceless -  Crowley does something utterly unexpected, and Aziraphale must face an opponent who cannot be thwarted.
Saunter by Aria -  There is nothing to do but feel out of sorts, disjointed and slightly askew from the world, and watch as Aziraphale absently eats the apple, the world's hundred millionth apple, symbolic of nothing at all.
They Get Together In These Ones
And when he falls by torch -  There are many ways to celebrate having avoided the apocalypse.
The Member of the Wedding by Aja - Crowley comes to a realization.
Survivors' Guilt / For All the World by irisbleufic -  It was a dark and stormy night, and nobody was enjoying it.
Goodbody by copperbadge -  Aziraphael's new body is causing some problems.
Sunday (Or the First Day Of the Rest of Their Lives) by pollitt -  Sunday at the park
Under Cover by bliumchik -  There's a new little problem in Tadfield...
An Excellent Long-Term Solution by Beth H (bethbethbeth) - In which Hell seems more forgiving than Heaven, Aziraphale seems to have got himself into a bit of a pickle, and Crowley seems to have come up with the perfect solution, almost all on his own.
Firebird: III. Finale by htebazytook -  "In the background Crowley and Aziraphale met on the tops of buses, and in art galleries, and at concerts, compared notes, and smiled."
Old Fashioned by htebazytook -  Hell has changed.
Very Complicated Solitaire by htebazytook
Ordinary People (The Anything But Ordinary Remix) by cimorene  -  Crowley has started to take a proprietary interest in Aziraphale's bookshop.
The Speck in the London Eye by Vulgarweed -  A hot dame, a missing youth, a quirky consultant—and much much more than meets the eye at stake. Private Investigator A.J. Crowley just might be in over his head this time.
TwoFish by Grindylowe -  A love story about angels and demons. Also, fish.  
Snowy Evenings by htebazytook -  Five times Crowley couldn't stand the snow, and one time he could.
A Peculiar Sensation by Elvendork -  It happens at the Ritz: Aziraphale comes to a startling realistion, but takes it in his stride remarkably well.
As Above, So Below by JenTheSweetie - Crowley and Aziraphale talk, drink, complete paperwork, drink, fall asleep with abandon, drink, and do other stuff (maybe). And drink.
Modern Love by punkfaery -  Crowley, Aziraphale, and a series of religious buildings.
A Backwards Proposal by HoloXam -  An encounter with a bride-to-be puts an idea in Aziraphale's head. Crowley doesn't react very well.
Post-Relationship
Recall by busaikko -  RECALL: 1. To ask or order to return; 2. To summon back to awareness; 3. To remember; recollect.
That Subtle Knot by apple_pi -  I wonder. Does an angel get his wings when the bell is set off by a demon?
Never Mind the Gravitation by Argyle -  Sure, there's life on Mars. But Crowley can hardly call it living.
Flamingos by Interrobam -  "Las Vegas, Crowley had always maintained, was technically Aziraphale's fault." Crowley and Aziraphale go to Las Vegas, contemplate the history of civilization and the meaning of existence.
Snapshots by mirawonderfulstar -  Five photographs on the wall of Aziraphale’s shop.
A Resort By Any Other Name by TheLifeOfEmm -  Or in which Crowley and Aziraphale go on holiday, but have a bit of trouble with the weather.
Hell's Bells (Wedding Bells) by Macdicilla -  Hell finds out that Aziraphale and Crowley are together, and eventually Heaven does too. Hell sends its [unwelcome] congratulations.
Categorization by SleepsWithCoyotes -  Crowley calls 'em like he sees 'em.
Black Dog by HoloXam -  In which Crowley feels bad and Aziraphale makes tea.
The Flame No Dampness Dulls by mirawonderfulstar -     Aziraphale doesn't understand why Crowley's spent the last two months trying to seduce him when the demon hasn't ever shown any interest in sex.
heaven is a place where nothing ever happens by Contra -  After the end of the world, there comes a new morning.
These Ones Have Sex
Lethe For Two by SleepsWithCoyotes -  A visit from the Angel of Oblivion sounds pretty ominous, doesn't it?
Monday, Half Past Four by TruckThat -  Crowley decides that almost any course of action is justified if it manages to distract him from the fact that it's been nearly two days and so far nothing else is going wrong.
The Reason for the Season by Vulgarweed -  Adam and Pepper, now married with children of their own, worry that their kids might be losing some of the magic of the season. Adam calls in a little favour from some old friends - with a nice little bonus that's in it for them.
No Such Thing by irisbleufic -  "You mean [Agnes] was trying to reassure us the whole time that the world wasn't, in fact, going to end?"
Historical
Casual as Birds by apple_pi -  Aziraphale and Crowley in London, 1944.
New Day (The Dreaming of You Remix) by Daegaer -  Ettore dreams of friendship and love.
The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea by Argyle - The Devil has all the best tunes. (London, 1940)
Theatrical Sins: A Play in Three Acts by Aria -  "What did you do?" Crowley asked in horror, the first time he saw Aziraphale after sleeping away most of the nineteenth century.
Natural Laws by Argyle -  Every object in the Universe attracts every other object. (Lincolnshire, 1665)
Species, Origins by bliumchik -  A prehistoric chat.
Lessons in Falling by Argyle -  You never forget how. (London, 1866/1899)
The Visible Universe by Argyle -  It was not a remarkable day. (England, 1928)
How Crowley Saved Christmas by such_heights -  It was 1842, and Aziraphale really didn’t want to do it.
Letters by inabathrobe for miss_narla -  Aziraphale and Crowley burn letters and bridges.
Myths Will Be Myths by palavreado -  Aziraphale says goodbye to an old friend.
On Transmutation (and Tortoises) by Vermin_Disciple -  c. 1859. In which Aziraphale reads the latest bestseller, and he and Crowley take a trip to the Galapagos.  
i wanted to hurt you but the victory is that i could not stomach it by gyzym
Three Times Aziraphale Was Almost Too Much Of A Bastard To Be Worth Liking by feverbeats -  They have to stop meeting like this.
Safe Haven by JAMoczo -  A remix of Prodigal Son: January 1945; Aziraphale has a crisis of Faith.
In der H'lle by Copinggoggles -  Snapshot in the trenches.
Hell Is Empty by bemusedlybespectacled (ardentintoxication) -  Crowley goes to investigate this Inquisition he supposedly helped to start and finds Aziraphale instead.
And All The Devils Are Here by bemusedlybespectacled (ardentintoxication) -  Aziraphale is taken in by the Inquisition for witchcraft and finds help from an unexpected source.
The Widening Gyre by Vulgarweed -  In the spring of 1916, some in London and Dublin were fighting a war on two fronts. Three, if you include the heart. (Too long a sacrifice can make a stone of it.)
Bacchanalia by furchte_die_schildkrote -  The first time Crowley was kissed by an angel, Aziraphale had wine on his breath, a nearly full moon hung in the sky, and Rome was burning.
Carmina Burana by Lunasong365 - Carmina Burana has been described as: Profane. Sensual. Irreverent. Satirical of religion.So why was its source text discovered in a monastery?
The Fourteenth Century by Elsinore_and_Inverness -  An Angel, a Demon and the Crisis of the Late Middle Ages
“O Serpent heart… Fiend Angelical, Dove Feather Raven” -William Shakespeare (R&J, 3.2.74-76) by Elsinore_and_Inverness -  'There are no sonnets immortalizing a demon with eyes like the sun. This is probably just as well.'
Don't Mind You Under My Skin by 50artists -  Five times that Crowley tempted Aziraphale (with mixed success), and one time Aziraphale tempted him.
Biblical
It Came Upon A Midnight Clear by Daegaer
Over the Face of all the Earth by Daegaer - The Tower of Babel seemed like a good idea at the time . . .
Father of Nations by Daegaer -  Crowley and Aziraphale keep having dealings with the same family.
Thirteen Ways of Looking at an Apple by Argyle -  In which one thing leads to another, and the Garden awakens.
build me a city, call it jerusalem by gyzym -  Man begets man begets The Tales of Men, and there's nothing godly in that; Those Above and Them Below haven't any need for the stories humans have been hungry for since the snake and the Angel with the flaming sword.
for I am come to send fire on the earth by tomato_greens -  The worst of it was that Crowley had already received a commendation, gleaming, from Below.
And Find for Herself a Place to Rest by tomato_greens -  So long as you avoided the thorns, it was a nice tree.
Another One Bites the Dust by diefiend -  Crowley and Aziraphale and the Crucifixion.
Other Characters
Revisited and Riding Out by Patrick Phelan
Of Woman Born by slythwolf -  A brief biography of Adam's biological mother.
Pennies From Heaven (Pound Notes From Hell) by Ineffabilitea -  Warlock just wants to feel special again.
Forgotten, As A Dream by Clodius Pulcher (Clodia) -  "They'll be back. They're never far away..." Pippin Galadriel Moonchild, aged eleven and a half, dreams red. Or rather, Red.
Good Help is Hard to Find, or The Hazards of Reading Prophecy by Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard), somnolentblue -  Wherein Aziraphale hires a shop assistant.
Love Me Tender by tomato_greens -  Bright lights and ice cream: what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Except when it doesn't.
Memory Yields by Interrobam -  The thing about being destined to bring about the apocalypse when you're eleven was that no one quite made plans for how you were supposed to go about the rest of your life.
The Morning After the Morning After the End of the World by Aegialia -  Anathema moves on and figures herself out.
In which Adam challenges Crowley to a drinking contest and it is a terrible idea by Macdicilla -  It is a rather foolish thing to set a bet with the devil, or even with a devil, unless you have an ace—or better yet, all the aces in the deck—up your sleeve.
Anything by LoveChilde -  About ten years after the world didn’t end, Pippin Galadriel Moonchild meets an angel. Or maybe just a harmless homosexual. They have tea.
Forgive Those Who Trespass by JAMoczo -  Crowley and Shadwell share Madame Tracy and Aziraphale for a week. God help us all.
Crossovers
The Nice and Accurate Adventures of Aziraphale in Ankh-Morpork by Glinda -  All truly good second-hand bookshops are really genteel black-holes that have learned how to read.
Bargain Breakfast by Daegaer -  Crowley gets a suspicious sort of customer.
The Corsair of Carcosa by Vulgarweed -  Aziraphale gets his hands on a rare copy of the play The King in Yellow. Reading and its consequences ensue.
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theelliottsmiths · 5 years ago
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Could you please liveblog the making of Amerika?
Yes
I'm anticipating complaining about the penis zip guy already
Did you know that for a long time as a child I thought the English version was the real version? Cause I did
The bit where they're putting the paint on their faces is weirdly cute even though Richard looks kind of silly
Flake grow out your long hair pleaseee just like. A cute little bob again. I would listen to him talk for hours honestly I like the way he pronounced the words and his tone language doesn't matter
You can always tell by how he holds his face vs his eyes when he's joking "that's what this song is for: to sneak ourselves into their hearts" i feel like they have done that pretty well. For some reason it seems like most of the American fans are from the Midwest but maybe that's just coincidence
Rammstein saying they have no message except "Fleisch, Fleisch" or "ja" or "ich will" I forgot this entire thing is ceaseless dunking and sarcasm
i like the sounds he makes like the. There's a name for them what is it. The noises you make between words for emphasis etc? Those
"America was so fucking annoying we felt the need to call them out on it"
Oli talks a little like he's trying not to yawn. Them saying the war was on while they were in the practice room is strange considering how long the various wars had been going on just from like a born in the late 90s living in 2020 perspective
Ah yes you really were. So subtle. It's very. Clever many double meanings
"sehr gut, Till". :).
The sehnsucht thing tickles me so much he starts off by saying yes it's better to leave things up for interpretation and naturally my brain assumes he means the well thought out probably not true but poetic stuff, right, and then he goes on to say Americans thought sehnsucht was chainsaw and I cannot
The knife also is good.
In a way Amerika as a video is a precursor Ausländer and I like seeing how it compares because its
AS I WAS TYPING THAT OLI SAID THE WORD AUSLÄNDER
Oli does not seem happy to have his words captured At All
I wonder how many people did the Deutschland thing and went straight to saying it's racist without thinking through the reasons behind what they were doing (at least in part criticising American racism) I'm pretty sure l've seen someone complain about it somewhere like it was serious, I think on Reddit around the time the Ausländer Making of came out? Which is why I bring it up
"we wanted to make it clear that it wasn't a love song so these lyrics are perfect" Till: literally just saying this is not a love song
I would like to see them perform a cheer in proper cheerleader costumes instead of the uncomfy stickman Deutschland dance that makes me cringe my skeleton right out of my skin in 2021 please
The juxtaposition of Richards pro-america comments and flakes sarky comments about how nice the urinals are is so reminiscent of that post that's like America where freedom is the choice between thirty kinds of bread that you can't afford to buy
I was going to make a Regan's grave joke but I do prefer to keep that one for Margaret Thatchers grave
I like schneiders hair at this length
Schneiders capacity to oscillate so wildly between being a vacant dumbass and saying intelligent and thought out things is ceaselessly amazing
Saying it's hard because "it's like a punk concert for them" Jörn my guy my dude almost all of them were in punk bands I just checked and this was 2004 Feeling b only broke up in the 90s do you literally just mean Oli (I do not remember if there was any punk going on in the Inchtabokatables) or
Schneider is making it look so easy was he truly just so -_- about feeling b that he can be completely calm in the face drumming that fast? Cause we know usually his fast drumming involves screaming faces and or actual screaming I swear he does and it's just not hearable under the music sidenote he sings along sometimes and if he does it out loud I NEED to hear it
Richard when it's slowed down looks uh. Looks like he's eh. Hm. Is that the real reason people are so into guitarists?
I don't know which part of the sentence Glasses Paul says in that louder voice (schossen? Is he saying that/shot?) but I do like it if I knew more German I would take on way more Rammstein things as echoes you have no idea how much time I spend saying es reicht wenn hier so 'nen fleischfarbenen Draht lang legst which If that's wrong it's exactly what I was told he said so please correct it but it's not my fault unless you consider it my fault for not knowing enough German in which case it is my fault
But anyway yes hes Talking like its a museum tour and in his little glasses and shirt and everything he is totally playing the part of unhinged historian which is the best kind of historian honestly if you're going to be academic in nature you might as well be fucking mental
I want to know what vibes his speech gives off in German because to me he in English and German seems very theatrical in the way he talks? Including how much he rolls his rs it's very... Showy? But maybe not actually?
I forget how many videos Jörn has shot with them honestly
What do you do with this ash sand once your finished with? Some of them had kids I'd have taken it home and pretended it was real moon dust or something
They really go for it when they decide to do something like this and it really is admirable. It's rare they'll half-ass something and even when if feels like their director has they don't themselves
Richard looks very handsome in his space suit before they hang him up
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Pretti
He looks like a marionette now nevermind
THIS FUCKER
I just. Do. Not. Enjoy this man I'm sorry to you and the mullet man I'm sure he's great but for fucks SAKE man he
TILL LITERALLY SAYS DONALD SUTHERLAND POINTS TO HIS DICK AND MIMES ZIPPING YOU KNOW WHAT HE'S FUCKING TALKING ABOUT SO WHY DO YOU LOOK SO CONFUSED
YOU TOLD HIM THE STORY YOU KNOW WHY HES SAYING DONALD SUTHERLAND AND POINTING TO HIS PENIS WHY ARE YOU SO GORMLESS
Look. I have nothing against Americans individually B is American Nick is American i love them dearly i know also other Americans a lot of you guys are Americans and I love you lots but here's the thing why are Americans like this
If it's not in English the brain turns off even if the context is obvious it's like when English people see Welsh/English signs and are so anti-welsh that they don't acknowledge that they're also in English and get angry that they don't know where they are
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The sweetest little face though!
Softest boy ever besides Rosenrot Till
Till gets bored of the guy and decides to tell a story about a dick it's very him
This is the hair I think of when I think of Till this is the quintessential till haircut no?
God I do dislike this man
Tills voice is so so high here I adore him so completely it's so soft and high and the song is Not
If you're trying to learn how to say L sounds like a German I feel like richard is the easiest one to copy? Unless they're all weirdos and no other German says L sounds like that. Him and flake.
Flakes smile is more cheerful than Paul's there I said it
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I know it's not foreshadowing but Jörn foreshadowing Ausländer
Richard talking about America's tendancy to exaggerate is really interesting since that's something the community as a whole seems to agree is a personality trait of his. They didn't fight, they almost broke up. He hates touring and yet he loves touring. Is that why he likes it there or is living there why he's like that?
Can you casually buy ten litres of orange juice? The boys are busy they cannot confirm and Google does not understand what I'm asking
Yeah Richard and Till, get closer
Knife
Schneiders handprint
I forgot about "there was a rumour in the DDR that America didn't exist" what is it with Germany and conspiracies about places not existing I'm there are tears in my eyes I genuinely I never watch this one flake is so fucking funny
Till talking pictures of the others
It's better than I give it credit for in my memory is there anything they've made that is in not a single way entertaining? I feel like no
Thank you for asking for this one it was every fun actually
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jochmus · 4 years ago
Text
A Discussion of One Approach to a Universal Characteristic
I have felt inspired yesterday to make this attempt as a text post on Tumblr. By the subject’s weighty history and definition, it should by no means be an easy endeavor. However, there are two individuals from my readings that have inspired me, named John Locke and George Polya. Although I own both of the texts that interest me by these men, I have not read those specific texts unfortunately. Another influence was the eloquence of Euclid’s axioms, indeed I have not read the Elements either except for like the first page. I tend to become distracted very easily, and this is not something that I am very proud of. 
Now I must reveal my passion for the works of Ramon Llull. He was the guy behind the most complete version of Characteristica Universalis, but that is only because he managed to inspire Leibniz to come up with his Characteristica, which was never really worked on or implemented, and the system that Llull created is called Ars Magna, in four distinct stages. The term Ars Magna itself with regards to Llull refers to the Ternary Art, which refers to the wheels or volvelles that he used have elements or principles being divisible by 3. Furthermore this also by coincidence is the third phase of the art, but the phase and divisibility of the wheels are distinct things. 
Enough of Llull. Leibniz is really the only person to be regarded here, as it can be assumed that he wished to update Ars Magna to the science of the time and his own distinguished opinion. That being said, he never managed to create such a thing, but merely wrote to his collaborators and associates about what a proper implementation of this Universal Characteristic would look like. His letters are somewhere in the order of magnitude of 10^5, which is a complicated way of saying 10,000. Indeed I do not remember the estimated number from the Wiki, but I do believe it was something like 30,000. 
By the way, the Wiki does list 21 different attempts at Characterica Universalis, which is the number if I recall correctly, that this scholarly text on Llull mentioned that the man had written this many different version of his system. Quite interesting, but I cannot lower myself into base numerology. That has been superseded. To return to Ramon Llull for a moment, the man allegedly got his system from the Sufis. This precursor system is called Zairja, and there are a couple of texts available on that subject, one written by modern scholars and another written by a Tunisian historian who wrote the Muqaddimah. A hint for those of you curious about the latter text: The chapter about Zairja is in the third volume of that text, and is available on the Internet Archive. 
Back to Leibniz; for some reason essay writing is quite tiring. From what we can discern about what he stated that this system would look like, well I have some bad news. Leibniz simply took the diagram that Empedocles created in antiquity and said “There.” What I mean by this is that Leibniz just took the four elements and their supposed connections, in doing so adding another four nodes to the diagram, and being content with drawing lines between said nodes in order to ratiocinate (think) on paper. Anyone can tell that this is follysome since we now know for a fact that the Classical Elements theory is rubbish. In fact, I have a hot take that it was not only responsible for the idea of “race,” but also the idea of depression. I have created an acronym for the various iterations of Classical Element theory, that is “EHTR” (pronounced ‘ether’) or Element-Humor-Temperament-”Race.” Indeed this may come as quite a shock everyone, but Kant the philosopher was really racist and decided to rank the “races.” I am not going to get into this, but I will say that it may have become esoteric or something through the likes of Manly P. Hall, who mentioned the same scheme Kant used, albeit reordering some things, after the latter mapped it to an analogy about the caste system mentioned in the Bhagavad Gita. I can feel the cancelation brewing already. 
There are probably many different ways to attain this Universal Characteristic. I find that I have provided enough introductory information on this subject, so let us move on to the main part of this essay. Unfortunately, this whole thing was spurred on by a feeling of grandiosity, so I really don’t know how valid my intuition is. Furthermore I forgot what it was that I could use to implement Charicterica Universalis. That being said, I think it was along the lines of a study of analogy, using mathematics, so that we could potentially describe the various processes that underlie reality. The other part was a return to metaphysics proper, or the three general distinguishing features of it according to some textbook, those features being categorization (which is what I consider to be important in particular with regards to this endeavor), thinking and a sense of supremacy regarding the method. Personally I really don’t think that the last one means much, and is in fact a detriment to updating philosophy as should be periodically done in my opinion. Science will always push the boundaries. 
I am going to split the remainder of this essay into three parts: The first part will be about analogy; the second, categorization; and thirdly an obscure paradox that I came up with last night, as a bonus for making it to the end of the essay. You could just skip to the paradox, if you would like, in fact I will bold the title for you, in case I have wasted too much of your time and am boring you. 
On Analogy
I envision analogy as not something fundamental, as the man who wrote Zen and the the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance stated that analogy is irreducible to sub-elements; and I argue against that position taken by the author of that text. I am honestly getting tired of writing and I have written the later parts of this essay before I wrote this part, so here goes nothing. 
In the next part I briefly mention knot and graph theory. I envision analogies as graphs, as I was inspired by Schrödinger’s book What is Life that the genetic material was a crystal. Not true, but why could this crystal represent mimesis, as opposed to “genesis?” (Genesis as in genes, an improper way to say that mind you.) Yes, I really think that this is the case, but it does sound kind of crazy now that I have it on paper after having it in my mind for a few years. I don’t know. I dislike the designation that Dawkins created for such things, the “meme” which he literally took from some German scientist with the same first name, and removed the ‘n’ in mneme to create this Internet garbage we see today. 
Then there are the developments with the idea of metaphor. I don’t really feel like getting into these because I am too tired and I keep making typing mistakes. Just know that it is possible to limit portions of the structure of the analogy to make it more congruent with other analogies or structures. Lastly, it really feels like the literary criticism movement is starting to claim all of the universe as its “text.” That is a portion of Structuralism, at least, according to PhilosophyTube. She stated that Structuralism started as literary criticism, and what do we as human beings do? Why we map the text to the whole of the universe. Some could argue that is a kind of metaphysics were it to be loosely understood. ...
On Categorization
The general gist of what I am thinking of here is that Ars Magna’s major issue is that it is not chaotic enough, if that makes any sense. What I am attempting to get at here is the thing about the questions generated in that system solely referring to the statements created. There is no architecture or complexity there to be studied and afterwards engineered, as it is just base multiplication to generate the questions. What I would like, is for the creation of the questions to be irreversible and chaotic, indeed those are separate things, much like the weather. Knot theory, or graph theory would come into play here, I am not sure which but that is what my intuition is telling me. Also, many statements could be superimposed to generate a set of questions, or a single question. Hopefully my mathematical studies will enable me to investigate this further in the future. 
It must be stated now that the whole category term does apply in my opinion to Ars Manga. This is because the system abstracts the categories into a table of about 54 “elements” which are then combined a second time to produce very short strings of text, for instance “BCD.” Of course, the strings could very well be longer, and could incorporate more intricacy in this manner, but it is really the interaction between all of these strings which constitutes the architecture of the system, although this is done in a manner contrary to the mainstream Lullists, which is an anachronism, really. 
Case in point the categories must translate into natural phenomena and vice versa. At the same time, if the categories were generative, then they must be irreversible in order to be as intricate as possible. The sky is the limit with this, “New Lullism.” I don’t feel like explaining any more, but if someone wants me to tell them about why the standard categories must be reversible, and the generative categories the reverse, then I will explain this another day. Indeed, it may be a false distinction; there may very well be four types of category system, that is:
Standard reversible;
Generative reversible (Ars Magna);
Standard irreversible;
Generative irreversible.
That is all for this part.
The Paradox
There is a possibility for a Universal Library, but the one available on the Internet is not feasible for conducting research on, because it is an art website and is not powerful enough to locate texts and be practical. I am talking about an implementation for the Universal Library called the Library of Babel. You can visit the website at libraryofbabel.info. I do not have the energy to disclose the theory behind this whole thing right now, but on request I will write about it another day. 
The mathematical constant “pi” supposedly does not repeat. Yet there is a trichotomy to be established here, when the constant is juxtaposed with the Universal Library, either; 
1). The Universal Library is effected by Gödel’s Incompleteness Theorem (was stated by two separate mathematics professors to likely be the case);
2). Pi does indeed repeat minute portions of itself after a significantly large computation of it is conducted, with an upper bound order of magnitude of around 10^5000. Note that this is a back-of-hand calculation;
3). Pi cannot be mapped to the Universal Library.
This trichotomy may indeed be defective as I am not trained in logic, and also I had to make up the last one as I forgot what it was. Oh well.
Thank you very much for reading all of this. Have a swell day. 
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princecharmingmendes · 6 years ago
Text
Paris | Day One
When your parents decide to travel with your best friend’s family that you haven’t talked to in a while, who you have a massive secret crush on, what could go wrong, right? Right?! (best friends to lovers)
*It’s my first series, hope you love it!
*Word Count: 6.3k
*Warnings: cursing, slight angst and Shawnie boy being cute.
*Posted: December 7th, 2019
                                                          -*- 
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Pants? Check! Gloves? Check! Fuzzy socks? Check! Charger? Check! Passport? Check! Phone? Shit! Where’s it again?! Oh, yeah, I’m holding it.
I rolled my eyes to my own stupidity finishing my mental packing checklist. I think I might have everything I needd with me. Well, I’ll only find out whenever I need something from across the ocean and notice that I probably forgot it on top of the sea of clothes that I decided not to pack laying on top of my bed.
I don’t even know why I’m so apprehensive about this whole family trip thing. We always travel together at least once a year, the only difference is that this time, the Mendes’ family would be joining us, which wasn’t the first time as well. I mean, maybe the first time in a few years, but still, nothing that I haven’t been through before. Shawn is not even going to be joining us! I mean, not that I care.
The buzz from my nightstand captured my attention from my thoughts and I stretched as best as I could to reach for my phone without getting up from the soft spot on my bed. I internally rolled my eyes at the photo of my younger sister lighting up the screen.
“Sup, kiddo?”
“I’m not a kid anymore, you know?” She said trying to contain the anger laced on her tone.
“Yeah, sure, whatever you say, kiddo”
“God, sometimes I really hate you”
“Awn, I love you too, Flo, so, why did call the most amazing human being on the whole wide world?”
“Y/N, seriously, you’re so annoying”
“Whatever, but, ‘seriously’” I said mocking her tone, earning a light chuckle from the other side of the line “what can I do for ya?”
“I’m just calling you to check if things are ready, mom’s been driving me crazy” Florence said and I swear to God that I could imagine her rolling her eyes in annoyance, but I could not blame her.
I mean, I love my mom, but she is a general when it comes to traveling, she needs to double check every little thing possible, finding mistakes where you could not even imagine. But after all that stress, you could be 100% sure that nothing would go wrong if she planned everything, because she had a plan “D” for everything. That’s right, a plan “D”.
“Everything’s in the right place, double checked and ready to go” I said between giggles.
“Great, she said you can leave in ten if you want, dad’s just finishing some stuff so that we can go to the airport”
“Kay, I think I’ll just go now, I’m pretty bored anyway”
“Fine, see you in ten”
“See you, kiddo” I said ending the call before she could kill me.
I took a deep breath and got up, closing my huge suitcase, but not before going through the whole mental checklist thing, and with all the strength I had, getting it on the floor. I grabbed my phone and tossed it on my backpack, put my sunglasses on the top of my head and got out of my small apartment. Took a deep breath again to lift my suitcase to put it on my car, and got it, starting it to go to my parents house.
It was weird saying their house, I mean, they bought it, so it’s theirs, but I sort of grew up there and I just recently moved out, so I guess I’m just getting over the fact that I don’t live with them anymore. It’s not like I live that far, it’s just that I decided to move closer to college to make my daily routine easier, so I moved to a small apartment that’s just a seven minute drive to campus, or a twenty minute walk. But it’s not like in a non insane traffic rush it would take me more than 10 minutes to get to their house. And since we moved almost five years ago to Toronto, we got much closer, since we had to readjust and make new social circles in the Big City, so I guess that’s why it’s so weird to me to not be around them the whole time.
After the whole nostalgic thoughts and a few jamming sessions on the car, I entered the building and parked on my spot, typing quickly on my phone saying that I was already there to my sister. She replied almost instantaneously, telling me to wait in the garage and that they were on their way down. So I just sat on the car, waiting for them, scrolling through social media and feeling my heart beat a little faster when I saw a picture Shawn posted on his stories, on a FUCKING airport. That had to be a coincidence. He wasn’t going to Paris with us, he simply couldn’t.
Let me get this story straight. My family and I used to live in a small town in Canada, called Pickering, and we used to be the Mendes’ neighbors. Our parents clicked almost automatically when they moved, because someone took French classes with someone when they were like seven and whatever, you know what I mean. So me and Shawn, Florence and Aaliyah kind of didn’t have an option on not becoming like best friends. Flo and Aaliyah had a similar age, my sister is 17 and Liyah is 16. Shawn is 21 and I’m 20, and since we’re literally at each other’s houses all the time, we automatically became best friends basically since the day we were born. And I wouldn’t want it any other way.
The problem is that Shawn Peter Raul Mendes is the definition of perfection. He’s not just the hottest person to live on earth and probably the whole galaxy, but also the funniest, kindest, most talented and caring human being I’ve ever met. And there’s a bonus, he knew me better than anyone. So it was impossible to not fall for him when I discovered what that is/was. Okay, maybe not fall for him, but I did have a major crush on him growing up, but I never said anything, cause, duh, who would?! I’d never do anything that could make our relationship weird. Even because he never showed any signs telling me he felt something as well.
So yeah, I had to swallow seeing him with other girls, having a heartbreak because of other girls and all that with a smile on my face, like it didn’t feel like having someone pinching my heart every damn time. But what made everything worse was the day I found out we were moving to Toronto when I was like 15. I ran into his house, straight into his room and cried the whole night, and when I told him the reason why, he couldn’t hold it in, so he cried with me. In the end, he helped me pack and promised me that we would still be best friends, no matter where I was moving to, that he would call and text all day, that he would be only a couple miles away, and I believed him. And I can’t say he didn’t keep his promise, at least for the first year.
We would se each other every holiday and text non-stop, but than he started dating some random girl and suddenly, he couldn’t come on the holidays or answer my phone calls. And to avoid another heartbreak, I decided to let it go. It’s not like we don’t talk anymore or don’t see each other in years, it’s just that, it’s not the same as before. But I don’t blame him, this is inevitable, our lives are so different. He’s one year older and he travels a lot, he took a whole year just to wander around the globe with his friends, he’s in music school somewhere and is dating a girl that looks like just got out of a runaway. I’m just someone who finished high school and went straight to college to become a doctor, so my life is quite boring, I study a lot, work an insane amount of hours for a student with my stepfather to gain experience (and that’s it, no money for me), I’m finishing a research and my last fling didn’t go as well as I expected, turned out I was not his only one. So yeah, completely different lives.
He cannot come to this trip and mess with my head that I took many years to get in the right place. He simply can’t.
“Darling?” The voice of my mom reverberated through the whole garage startling the shit out of me.
“Geez, mom, are you trying to kill me or something?” I said jokingly standing up from the seat and going to greet them.
“It’s just a little revenge for every time you scared me”
“Hi, Y/N, where’s your suitcase?” Dad asked me kissing my forehead.
“Hi, dad, it’s in my car”
“Okay, you girls get your stuff on the car and I’ll grab the suitcases, Okay? Karen said they’re already here, waiting for us to go to the boarding area”
“Kay” Flo said getting her backpack and jumping on the backseat of the car. Mom was already on the passenger seat.
“Do you need help, dad?” I said as I watched him get my bag from my car, putting it into his.
“No, sweetheart, I’m done, the rest is already here, thanks”
With that, I just nodded and climbed on the car, that a few moments later was already on the streets of Toronto heading to the airport.
                                                         -*-
“Oh my God, is that Shawn?!” Flo whisper yelled to me, getting my attention that was on my phone to her. We were close to the check-in desk where our parents where checking-in our luggage.
“Dunno, don’t care”
“Oh, come on, Y/N, he’s your best friend and there’s like ages since you last saw him, it was on summer!”
“Yeah, so? Six months it’s not that much”
“God, you’re so annoying”
“What are you two already arguing about? This is vacation you guys, try to chill a little bit and behave, please” Mom said as they approached “Now let’s find Karen and Manny”
“I think they’re there, love” Dad said pointing towards what Flo said Shawn was, but I just didn’t want to look just yet.
“Oh, yes, that’s them, let’s go!”
Shit.
“Karen!” Was the first greeting to be heard as we got closer to the them, obviously it came from my mom, cause she was born without the power of being embarrassed.
“Oh my god! You look amazing!”
And than everyone started talking and hugging and all that stuff. I was a little behind, too focused on the level I was on CandyCrush to look up, but when I bumped into a wall I immediately looked up and tried to stabilize myself, but that was just a stupid idea. It wasn’t a wall. His scent was the first thing to make me weak on my knees. But than my eyes met his honey colored ones and that beautiful grin that showed all his perfect aligned teeth. And before I could fall on my butt, his strong hands gripped my waist firmly, steadying my body and keeping me close.
“Sh-Shawn” I sighed practically a whisper “oh, shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t see you” and all I could hear was my heart beating wildly and his melodic chuckle.
“S’okay, honey, still playing CandyCrush?”
“Uh... yeah, yeah, it’s a nice game”
“Yes, it is, God, you look so...”
“Y/N, my dear!” Karen cut her son in the middle of the sentence, making my heart skip a beat. I don’t know if I should thank her or be mad at her “Shawn, can you please let her go, I didn’t see her in a while too”
“Sure” He said, cleaning his throat and letting go of me, scratching the back of his neck. Am I really missing his hands on me?!
“Hi, Karen, how are you?” I said smiling politely before being engulfed in a bear hug.
“I’m extremely happy to be here with you guys, and you? Oh, you must have so much to tell me! You look so good, you get prettier everyday! Are you dating someone new? How college?” She asked too many questions making me dizzy for a second.
“Sweetie, calm down, you’ll be with her for a long time, don’t make her regret coming just now, hey there, Y/N” Manny said giggling, making Karen smack his arm playfully.
“I’m good, college is amazing, too much in such a little time, but still amazing. And thank you?!” I said trying to answer everything.
“That’s really good, dear, but don’t worry, we’ll have time to catch on everything”
“I’m pretty sure we will”
“Y/N!”
“Liyah! Loved your hair” I said hugging her.
“Oh, thanks!”
As we walked down the aisles to the boarding area, everyone was talking cheerfully to each other, catching on everything they could. I was a little behind in the middle of Flo and Liyah, listening to her new crush when I felt something reaching for my wrist, making me look back, seeing Shawn with a shy smile on his face, so I went a little to the side to walk beside him instead.
“I never greeted you properly”
“I guess you didn’t”
“Hi, Y/N, how are you?” He said reaching his hand out, I grabbed it smiling and you shook them.
“Hi, Mendes, I’m fine, and you?”
“So much better now” he said winking in my direction, making me blush lightly “I can’t believe that I can still make you all flushed that easily”
“Oh, shut up, pink cheeks”
“Oh, drop it, you’re sister’s right, you’re annoying as heck, but I still missed you”
I froze as the words fell off his lips.
“Everything okay, honey?” Shawn asked turning around with concern written all over his face “did I say anything wrong?”
“Hm?”
“You stopped out of the blue”
“Oh, I just remembered that I have no idea who I’m sitting with on the flight, ya know?”
“Oh, didn’t know that was a issue, are you still afraid of turbulence? Is that why?”
“Hm, yeah”
“Oh, than you can chill, you’re with me, your parents and mine put us together to catch up”
Great. Just what I needed.
“Oh, that sounds nice”
“So, how’s life?”
“Same”
“Really? But what about that guy... Roger?”
“Rick? Oh, turned out you were right and he was a dick”
“What did he do?! Did he hurt you?!”
“Well, he did cheat on me, so he kind of hurt me, but not physically”
Shawn mumbled something I couldn’t hear.
“What was that?”
“Hm? Nothing”
“Shawn...”
“Nothing, honey, I swear” he said looking straight ahead. So I decided to just drop it. He’s just too stubborn.
“So... how’s your life?”
“Mine? Great, I’m moving back to Canada”
“Really? When?”
“Actually, just moved back to Toronto like two days ago”
“I can’t believe it!”
“Me neither” Shawn chuckled “I was supposed to surprise you, don’t know, just show up at your door or college”
“You thought about surprising me?”
“Of course, you’re my best friend, honey”
“Oh”
“‘Oh’? Why do you sound this surprised?
“I don’t know, we just aren’t that close anymore, and we didn’t see each other for like six months, and you didn’t call on my birthday and...” I couldn’t finish because someone was asking for my documents and stuff.
So we went through the whole process and going through the gate, sitting down close to each other on the plane without a word. After what felt like ages, I felt something brushing the sides of my thigh. I look down and it’s Shawn’s knee bouncing. And for now, I just ignored it, knowing he had a lot to say, just wasn’t comfortable enough to do it now. So we got in the plane and sat on our seats, I sat next to the window, and I let him take the aisle due to his gigantic legs.
My headphones were quite loud when I felt the plane starting to move, making my hands grip the seat tighter involuntarily. Before I could start feeling sick to my stomach, I felt a hand covering my knee, giving it a little squeeze. I just breathed in a little deeper and looked at his face, but he was already looking at me. He leaned in, kissing my forehead and letting go of my knee, turning his palm up, so I instantaneously held it, threading my fingers with his.
“It’s okay, princess, you’re fine and I’m here with you, okay?” He said in a calm and low tone near to my ear, making my whole body melt into the seat “do you want me to do anything to make it better?” I just shaked my head “no? Is this enough?” I nodded “okay, so just breath for me, eh? Can you do that for me, honey?”
I nodded starting deep breaths and felt my hand being lightly squeezed, in encouragement.
When the plane was finally stable, I slowly let go of his hand and snuggled into the wall. I could feel Shawn’s stare on me, but I couldn’t simply look at him, so I just closed my eyes and focused on whatever artist’s voice was playing through my earphones.
An hour or so later, when everyone seemed to be asleep, including mister “I miss you”, my bladder decided to work, so I really needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and started trying to jump the sleeping giant by my side, but something made him stir wake while I was literally in the middle of jumping him, with his legs between mine, and he just grabbed me by my hips.
“Hm, Sorry, did I wake you?” I practically whispered, trying to gain some balance I placed my hands each side of his head on his seat.
“No, baby, whatcha doing?”
“I need to go to the bathroom”
“Oh, sorry” he said with his eyes not completely open, in a zone between sleep and consciousness.
I just gave him a tight lip smile and ran to the bathroom. Okay, did he just called me “baby”? I shook my head and threw cold water on my face. Getting back there made my heart get a little warmer. Shawn was laying with half of his body on my seat, with his arms crossed and the softest look on his face.
“Shawnie?” I whispered laying my hand on his chest and he whined still asleep “handsome, I need to get back to my place”
Shawn slowly opened his eyes again, rubbing his whole face, mumbling a “sorry” and sitting straight. I jumped his legs back and sat down.
“Do you want to lay on me, big guy?”
“Can I?”
“Sure” and as I said, he quickly lifted that seat divider and placed his head on my chest, snuggling on my side and wrapping his arms around me.
“Thank you, honey” he said as I started running my hand through his hair, making him groan softly, and in a matter of seconds, drift off to sleep again. So I just chose a random movie to play and tried to fall asleep, since I didn’t have much to do other than stay quietly because of Shawn standing basically on top of me.
Fortunately, I ended up dozing off pretty quickly, but half and hour later, I felt something on my neck making me wake up, but I didn’t want to open my eyes just yet.
“What?” I groaned as lowly as I could.
“Shh, baby, you can go back to sleep” Shawn murmured against the skin of my neck.
There he goes again with the baby thing.
“Shawn? What are you doing?”
“Nothing” he said nuzzling his face even deeper in my neck.
“Shawn?!”
“Shh, baby, there’s people trying to sleep, and you should be doing the same” he said and I felt his lips brush against my skin, giving me goosebumps.
“Seriously, what the hell are you doing?”
“I just missed you, do you want me to back off?” He asked and I pondered for a while, than I shook my head  and he mumbled a simple “good”.
He peppered light feather kisses along the side of my neck, making me feel those damn butterflies on my stomach, and also making me feel like I’m 13 all over again.
“Go back to sleep, honey” he said running his nose through the extension of my neck.
“You woke me, I can’t”
“Sorry, you’re just so warm and cozy, I couldn’t resist”
“Resist...?”
“You” Shawn said like it’s obvious giving a longer kiss on a particular sensitive spot, pulling from me a little whine and making me thread my fingers between his curls. Shawn chuckled lightly against my skin “yes, honey, anything you want to say?”
“You”
“What about me?” He said leaning his head against my shoulder, turning my head by my chin to look at him.
“You’re just confusing”
“I’m confusing?”
“Yes! Why did you wake up?”
“The person behind me tripped on my feet on their way back to his seat”
“Oh, I see that, do you... hmm...”
“Do I...?”
“Do you want to go back to sleep?”
“I wouldn’t mind” he said straightening his back and getting back to his seat.
“Where are you going?” I asked pouting involuntarily and he just smiled. More of a cocky grin than anything else.
“Just adjusting so you can lay on me”
“Oh, okay”
“C’mere, honey” he said patting his chest and I just laid there, wrapping my arms around his middle, and having him do the same “now sleeps, I’ll be right here”.
“Kay” and with that, he kissed the top of my head and held me even tighter, starting to play with my hair. How can you not immediately go back to sleep with that?
                                                         -*-
I woke up a while later with the sound of the flight attendant offering dinner to another people a few seats ahead of us. I grabbed my phone and saw that we still had a four hour flight to Paris and sighed. Well, at least I had a giant warm pillow by my side. I tried sitting properly but Shawn wouldn’t let go of me, so I just gave up and relaxed against his chest, grabbing my sketchbook to look through it.
I got so lost in over analyzing my past few drawings that I didn’t notice that he was awake and looking through them with me. At least, not until I quickly went through one that I didn’t finish and he placed his hand over the page, stopping me from turning it. I looked up to meet his honey colored ones already looking at me.
“What?”
“What is this one?” He said extremely low due to the nap we took, making me warm inside.
“It’s nothing, I didn’t even finish sketching it”
“Is it us?” He said taking his hand from the page and looking at it.
“It was supposed to be, it’s a recreation of that picture we took at your place on Christmas, wrapped up in christmas’ lights”
“Why?”
“Dunno, guess I just missed you a little bit more than usual that day”
“No, why didn’t you finish it?”
“Oh, sorry, I... I guess it seemed odd to draw the both of us, especially because at that time we weren’t even talking because of...”
“Yeah, and I’m sorry about that”
“It’s okay, I guess, it’s over”
“She was wrong though”
“Your ex? Obviously, she was jealous for no reason, you’ve never seen me as more than friends”
“And neither have you”
“Yes, I know that, she didn’t”
“I made a lot of dumb choices, eh?”
“Yeah, you did, Shawn”
“And I wish I could just go back and fix them”
“Fix what’s not broken? You don’t need to fix anything, I’m right here, aren’t I?”
“Yeah, but you are hurt”
“Am I?”
“Honey... we need to talk about it, we’ll never go back to normal if we don’t”
“I don’t have anything to say, Shawnie”
“But I do, honey” he said taking a deep breath “I know I’ve been the shittiest friend in history, that you didn’t always come first in the past few months and I’m truly sorry for that. I’m also sorry for promising things to you that I didn’t keep, like always being there for you when you need me and stuff. And sorry for the ex girlfriends that made us go further apart, obviously for my mistake, but anyway, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that...”
“Shawn...”
“Please, Y/N, I really need to get that off my chest”
“And I will let you do that, is just that she’s...” I didn’t finish the sentence, just pointed to the flight attendant offering dinner.
“Oh, sorry” he said flashing her a smile that probably almost killed the poor woman. Yes, that’s Shawn Mendes effect.
We grabbed our trays, thanking her and placing them on the little table thing.
“Okay, keep going”
“Okay, and I’m sorry for everything I did you wrong, for example, not calling you on your birthday, just a quick text, but I just did that cause I was so ashamed of all of the things that I did to you, I almost didn’t come to this trip to not put any sort of pressure on you for forgiving me. But specially, the most important thing I should be apologizing for is for making you feel like you don’t mean the world to me and that you aren’t one of the most important women in my life, and I love you with my whole heart and I missed you like hell, and being away from you was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my entire life. And I never want this to happen again. I’m sorry, Y/N, for everything”
I couldn’t breath. Really, all the air that was on my lungs simply disappeared. I just stared my shoes for what felt like a really long time.
“Honey? Y/N? Are you okay? Do you need me to leave?”
Oh, okay, it was a long time.
“Hm, Sorry, I’m just trying to, ya know, absorb everything”
“Okay” he said stating the back of the seat in front of him.
“Hey” I said placing my hand on his thigh squeezing it lightly “it’s okay, big guy, I’m not mad at you, I love you too, and it’s okay, I just figured we were going through different times in life and stuff... but it’s okay”
“It shouldn’t be, you should hate me”
“Not really, but I just can’t” I said and he placed his hand on top of mine.
“I love you so much, Y/N”
“You’re my best friend, dude, you kinda have to”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s it” he said sighing.
“Isn’t it?”
“Of course it is, honey”
“Good, now can we eat? I’m starving” I said and he giggled.
“Yes, we can, Y/N”
After that, we chose a movie and started watching it. His hand made a discreet way to my knee, and I just looked at it, but didn’t say a word. The movie was a random rom-com movie and I can say it was starting to get boring, but since people around us were falling back asleep, we didn’t have much to do. I felt his fingers starting to come higher on my leg, stopping in the middle of my thigh.
“Shawn?”
“Hmm?”
“What are you doing?”
“Watching the movie”
“Hm, yeah?”
“Yup” he said popping the ‘P’.
“What’s the name of the main character?”
“Susan?”
“Yeah, you’re such a bad liar, where are you, big guy?”
“M’here”
“No, you’re not”
“I’m just... enjoying you...r company” he said tracing random figures with the pad of his thumb “I really missed you”
“What do you mean?”
“I just feel the need to touch you”
“Well, you are”
“I know”
“Do you mind?”
“Not really”
“Okay” he said squeezing my thigh and than grabbing both of them and putting them over his lap, pulling me even closer.
“Dear?” Karen called making us both jump in our seats “oh, sorry, didn’t mean to scary you”
“It’s okay” I said chucking and trying to take my legs from Shawn’s lap, but he wouldn’t let me move “what happened?”
“Nothing, I was just going to the bathroom and wanted to check on you guys on the way back, do you need anything?”
“We’re fine, mom, I think we can handle this”
“I know you do, sweetheart, doesn’t mean I don’t get worried”
“Well, everything’s great, Karen, thank you” I said giving her a smile, which she gave back.
“Okay, I’ll just go back to my seat, we have another two hours” she said going away.
“Shit, she scared me” I said and Shawn laughed “shhh”
“Oh shit, sorry”
“It’s okay, dummy”
And that’s pretty much how we spent the rest of the flight, laughing, talking and watching that movie.
                                                         -*-
A few hours later, we were already at the hotel, checked in and heading to our floors. Both of our parents were at the same floor. Me, Shawn, Flo and Liyah were almost at the top, both of our sisters were in the same room at the left of the hall, and me and Shawn were to the right, but each one in one room.
Five minutes after I closed the door, someone knocked on it, so I turned around and opened it. Shawn was standing awkwardly in the middle of the hall scratching the back of his neck.
“Yes? Can I help you?”
“Hm, nope, I thought maybe you needed some, with the bag and stuff”
“Well, I didn’t even take a look at the view, so I guess maybe? Well, you can come in, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping any time soon, we slept a lot during the flight”
“Yeah, exactly... so, where do you want me to place your bag?” He asked stepping into my room.
“Hm, there?” I said pointing to a random corner of the room and going to the balcony, opening the doors and heading outside, just staring at the view of the Eiffel Tower.
“Holy shit” Shawn mumbled behind me.
“Yeah, it’s so... magical”
“Mhmm” he said standing by my side “we’re lucky we both got his view”
“Really?”
“My room is right next door”
“Is it?”
“Yeah, I think we even have a door between them”
“Oh, wouldn’t you like that, Mendes”
“What do you mean?” He said flushing hard under the moonlight, making those stupid butterflies appear again, making me remember everything I’ve ever felt for him “honey?” He called making ME flush for being caught staring at him.
“Oh, shit, sorry, well, you always like to scare me randomly and stuff, so that would make things a lot easier”
“Do you think I’m twelve?”
“No, of course not, big guy, I’m 100% sure”
“Oh, please” he said rolling his eyes at me playfully and chuckling “let me check that door thing again”
I just laughed as he walked back to the room. I just leaned on the balcony railing, enjoying the view and the light breeze from the cold night, that was giving me light goosebumps. And for a second, just a little moment, I allowed myself to imagine what would be like to have something with Shawn. I mean, I’ve done that a lot when I was younger and stuff, but nowadays I just don’t allow myself to do that, not anymore.
But being with him would probably be amazing. He always do this thing where he just puts his whole heart into everything he does, especially when he loves it. So just imagine being with someone so passionate, and caring, and kind, and sweet, and smart, and hot as him. I just can’t see any bad points in it.
“What’s going on on that pretty little head of yours, honey?” Shawn said lowly next to my ear, making my heart skip a beat and almost die.
You see, I wouldn’t mind the closeness and stuff, cause that guy has no idea of what personal space means. BUT, I would always see it coming and prepare myself to not freak out. But I did not see him coming, and did not expect him to be right behind me, close enough so that I could feel his hot breath on the back of my neck, since I was with my hair in a messy bun. His hands grabbed the railing in front of me, standing beside mine. Shit, he’s close.
“Nothing”
“Mhmmm, I don’t believe you” he said pressing his lips gently on my skin, making me bite me bottom lip to hold back a whimper.
“I... it’s nothing”
“See, it is something” he said rubbing the tip of his nose against the extension of my neck “I know you, baby, just tell me”
“I was just thinking how this trip would be a perfect scenario for me to be with someone... you know... romantically involved with someone”
“Oh” he said and I could feel his arms tensioning around me “anyone in particular?”
“Hm?” I said playing with my fingers but I felt one of his hands on my waist, turning me around to face him, but I just couldn’t, so I stared at our feet.
“So...? Anyone?”
“Oh, shit, sorry, no... not a single soul in particular, no one, no”
“Sure?”
“Yeah, sure”
“Yeah, don’t believe you right now, but I think I’m going back to my room to let you rest, you seem really tired”
“Do I?”
“Yes, you can’t seem to concentrate on what I’m saying, and you were staring at nothing in particular when I got here, so I guess you’re just tired”
“Yeah, that’s probably it”
“So... let’s go back inside?”
“Mhmmm”
“Honey?”
“Hm?” I mumbled looking up for the first time since he turned me around, and I regretted it almost instantaneously, why did he have to look so fucking good? And than he smiled, making me feel like my legs were turning into jello, making me grab his arms for support.
“Do you want me to carry you to bed?”
“I need to take a shower first”
“Okay, let’s do it like this, I’ll take you to the bathroom and I’ll let you shower and I’ll leave the door between our bedrooms open, so I can shower and come back before you, than I’ll tuck you in bed and go back to my room, okay? Sounds nice?”
“You’re perfect” I said without thinking and than flushing, because I noticed what just left my mouth.
He just chuckled wrapping his arms around my middle, taking me off the ground and to the bathroom, placing me on top of the sink. He went back to the room and returned a few moments later with my PJs, my shower bag and my bag of underwear.
“I’ll leave you to shower and stuff, and whenever you’re ready, I’ll be waiting for you in your room, okay, honey?”
“Okay” I basically whispered and he smiled, placing a delicate kiss on my forehead before leaving.
I just hopped off the counter top and locked the door, stepping into the shower a few moments later. A nice steaming hot shower later, I had my hair in a messy ponytail, makeup free face, lotion on my body, fuzzy socks and sweats on, and with that, I stepped out of the bathroom only to die a little more.
The room was already dark, only with the tv on, my things were nicely organized on the nightstand or on top of the suitcase, and Shawn... He was laying in the middle of my bed, with his curls a little damp, wearing his flannel plants and hoodie, barefoot, scrolling through some social media, oh so casually. God, he’s going to kill me without even trying.
“Hi” I said in a really soft tone, softer than I intended.
“Oh, hi, honey, are you ready for bed?” He asked and I just nodded “c’mere” he said opening his arms for me and I just crawled into bed with him, getting lost in the warmth of his body and scent.
“You’re the most caring person I’ve ever met”
“Thank you, I truly try to be”
“I know, and you are, and I love you”
“I love you too, Y/N, you have no idea”
Oh, I do.
“Thank you, for everything”
“You don’t have to thank me... but I won’t turn this into a discussion, so... what time are we getting up tomorrow?”
“Dunno, what time is it?”
“A quarter past midnight”
“8:30? So we can be downstairs at 9 am for breakfast? They said they’re going to leave the hotel at ten o’clock sharp so if we do this, we’ll have time”
“Yeah, that’s nice, but since I’ve been to Paris before, if you wanna do something separate or something they don’t want to, just tell me, and I’ll take you anywhere”
“Okay, great to know I have my own tourist guide” I said between a yawn and he chuckled.
“Okay, I really need to let you sleep” he said letting go of me and getting up, straightening the duvet on top of me and kissing my forehead “goodnight, honey, knock if you need me, okay?”
I nodded and held his hand.
“What, baby?”
“Thank you, for apologizing and making up for it, I missed you too” I said and he gave me a half smile.
“I’m still on the process, I hope someday I’ll be able to make it up to you”
“You already have... I... goodnight, Shawn” I said nuzzling on my pillow and letting go of his hand, but not before squeezing it lightly.
“Goodnight, Y/N” he said almost like a whisper as he left the room and I let the slumber take over me.
                                                         -*-
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