#ALSO THANK FOR UR WELL WISHES....i am feeling much better now <3

[clemencetaught]

"Here," it's... it's just bread. It's a bun, sure large enough to still some amount of hunger, but it's just bread. And yet, María holds it in front of Patrick with the face of someone who'd consider it a criminal offense to refuse it. Nevermind that she's stolen it from one of the banquets. "Just making sure you're eating." ((RUH-ROH it's Len again~ and I promise I forgot about the Peeta bread thing until I re-read this IGNORE THAT--!! FDKLGJDLAJSGF Hope you didn't end up getting sick BUT IF YOU DID HOPE YOU'RE RESTING AND FEELING BETTER SOON 🥺)) || okay but panem is also known as the nation of bread & circuses– ( unprompted w/ @mythvoiced )

He doesn’t eat much in the Capitol. 

Which is ironic, seeing how most of his life before the games, Patrick was always hungry. Always trying between schooling and factory shifts to figure out when his next meal was going to come. Why else would he and Hyuk have taken out tesserae all those years ago? It was preferable, playing the odds in the Reaping to starving for the rest of the year.

Nowadays, food is the least of his concerns. Whereas there is still a dearth in District Three, there is surplus in the Capitol. No surplus isn’t the right word; a surplus would mean the Capitol keeps the extra for the future. No, there is an excess of food in the Capitol, an excess that is dumped and left to rot after the pigs have had their share, have had their fun.

When he remembers that, food in the Capitol, no matter how finely it’s been prepared, becomes disgusting. Repulsive when it is combined with the thought of the districts, his people, still starving and fighting one another for the Capitol’s ‘scraps’. One plate is enough for Patrick to feel the bile swish in his stomach and even crawl back up his throat– how is he supposed to enjoy this filth now?

(But of course the Capitol has a way of perverting everything. Who else would have invented a liquid that makes one vomit what was just digested to make room for more food?)

“You didn’t have to,” is the first set of words to come out of his mouth, however. It’s such a childish gesture on her part; as a victor, she and her family should have more than enough riches to cover for food whether she’s in the Capitol or her own district. That and it’s considered normal to take leftovers from these banquets.

And yet, she’s staring him down like they are in covenance– it’s odd…strange how the things the Capitol deem sacred, she’ll approach with the irreverence of a foreigner and yet with the most mundane of objects, like a loaf of bread, most likely one of the hundred baked today and will be replicated tomorrow, like it is worth the weight of gold. He takes a hold of María’s loot. The loaf is still warm, freshly out of the oven, he wants to believe. Like it came from one of the bakeries in say, District 12, rather than a Capitol banquet table. Does she look at the Capitol and its elaborate feasts the same way? District Eight is probably just as bad if not even worse than his own district when it comes to food shortages so maybe her thievery makes sense.

When one has gone without food for long enough, no amount of surplus is enough to satiate the insecurity. He knows that feeling all too well. His stomach growls in anticipation. “…Normally, the Capitol likes to have this with caviar.” A delicacy from District Four along with butter shipped from District Ten. He splits the loaf in two, the inside crackling and breaking into two crisp pieces. “But I think…I think it tastes just as delicious on its own.” He hands María one half while taking a bite out of the other. “Take the other half; I can’t finish it on my own.”

It tastes delicious. 

[nicka-nell]

omg ur taking requests!

can you do some angst to fluff with Atsumu, Iwaizumi, Suna, Kuroo, Ushijima, and Sakusa (I’m sorry if they’re too many you can choose whoever you want to write about from these characters, I luv all of them soooo much)

Can you make it like really really Angsty in the start. Like the characters doing something they’ll regret a lot and then they spend a lot of efforts making up for it? Please make it fluffy in the end, I can’t handle sad endings 😭

Also please don’t include anything with infidelity or mentions of it. My boyfriend of 3 years cheated on me last month and I’m having such a hard time.

Thank you for considering my request. And there’s no pressure to accept, I don’t mind at all.

Hi! yes I am taking requests right now. 😇 First of all, I'm so sorry that you had such a negative experience. But tbh, you're better off this way. Nobody needs such an ass cheating on them! 😔😤 My ex did that too, with my ex-best friend btw. I also had a hard time but quickly felt better because I realised that it's a waste of time to cry over such a dick. I hope you don't lose hope in a healthy relationship based on trust. There really are good people out there and I hope you find someone who can appreciate you. Sending you a lot of hugs and kisses. 🤗💚❤️‍🩹

And for your request. I've written three stories for Tsumu, Iwa and Suna. Unfortunately they got a bit tooo long for my taste, so I only made these 3. I hope that's okay. I really had problems making it super angsty (urg, I need more practice for angsty stuff 😵‍💫). As you wished, I didn't include anything with cheating (even though I had a few ideas haha.) and I also added a trigger warning before each story. I think Iwa's and Suna's in particular might be a bit darker... so you can decide on your own if you want to continue reading it or not. Anyway, I hope you still like it, and thanks for your request. Stay healthy! 🥰💚

Regretting their actions

Pairing: Atsumu x, Iwaizumi x, Suna x reader

Warning: angst to fluff, break-up (Atsumu, Suna), mention of abuse/anger issues, mention of blood (Iwaizumi), mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (Suna)

Part 1 | Part 2 (End)

tw: mention of break-up

You met Atsumu when he came to his brother’s onigiri store for the housewarming.

The two of you got along well quickly. And it wasn’t long before he kissed you at a party, looked at you with his cheeky grin and said, “Tastes better than a victory.”

More things happened that night. Not just simple kisses and when you woke up next to him in bed, he asked you, still sleepy: “You’re my girlfriend now, aren’t you?”

You’ve been together for several years now and were thinking about moving in together soon when Atsumu’s career suddenly took off. He was traveling abroad more often and had less time for you or looking for an apartment.

And then it happened…

You scroll through the apartment search app for something suitable for the two of you, lying on the bed while missing him terribly. You close the app to go to your messenger, only to realize that you were the one who last texted Atsumu... two days ago… Two blue check marks indicate that he has read your messages but has not replied. Your fingers hover over the keypad of your phone and you think about writing to him. Maybe he read your message during training and didn’t have time to reply. Maybe he just forgot about it afterwards... maybe...

“Hey Tsumu... I know you’re busy but, I hope you’re doing well. Love you.” you type into your phone and send the message with a strange feeling in your stomach. It doesn’t take long before you see under his name that he is online. The gray check marks next to your message turn blue, but instead of replying, you see that he went offline again. You swallow a big lump down your throat, your heart feels heavy. Maybe he can’t answer you right now... you try to convince yourself again.

Several hours pass as you sink your head into your pillow and try to stifle your tears. Atsumu’s sports t-shirt is in your arms, which he had given you before his trip abroad. Time passes and suddenly you hear the ringtone of your phone as a message arrives. Your heart hits loud against your chest as you reach for your phone and see your boyfriend’s name. But your joy quickly disappears, the lump in your throat gets bigger and you can’t breathe. 

>> Hey... listen, I think it’s better if we end the relationship… break up. I don’t know, but I just don’t have time for it. I’ll see you around. <<

It feels like a slap in the face. As if this is a poor joke. You want to write to him, ask him what this is all about, but your tears blur your vision. The only thing you send is a “really?” but the message is no longer read. It remains on one gray check mark.

Two days go by and you still think it was all a bad joke, but every time you read his message, you feel like throwing up. Has he really dumped the whole relationship? By a shitty text message? You open your Instagram account and enter his name almost as if on autopilot.

Another slap in the face as your tears run down your cheeks again. His bio no longer says “Best setter and proud boyfriend” but simply “Setter MSBY Black Jackal”. All the pictures he had with you on his account have been deleted. Instead, you can only see advertising photos or private photos of him. The last eight pictures are of him, Hinata and Bokuto dancing and having fun with fans in different bars. Atsumu grins at the camera as if he doesn’t care about you at all. As if your relationship meant nothing to him.

You text him some more times, leave him voicemails because he never answers your calls. But after a few days, you let it go. It only frustrates you even more to see how little this relationship actually meant to him. For days, you cry yourself to sleep, what doesn’t go unnoticed by Osamu. After all, he sees you three times a week when you help him out in his store. When you tell him what has happened, he is also speechless, because Atsumu has really pissed him off with all his raving about you. So why would he break-up with you out of the blue? Osamu can’t see you as devastated as a heap of misery. So he also tries to find out the reason for the break-up between you and his silly brother. But when he calls him, Atsumu only faces him coldly on the phone. “Did she tell you to ask me? Leave it okay? I think I just realized that I don’t want a relationship.”

Two months go by and somehow you still can’t believe that your relationship just fell apart. Osamu tries to distract you somehow, but it doesn’t help because he reminds you too much of your idiot ex-boyfriend.

Nevertheless, you are grateful to Osamu for swapping your shift with his coworker’s shift so that you can open the store with him in the morning. That way, you avoid running into Atsumu, who is more likely to be in the restaurant in the evening as soon as he returns from his stay abroad. You’re not ready to face him at the moment.

Just as you’re about to finish work, you remember that you wanted to show Osamu a video on your phone. “Look, the new trailer for the second season of this soccer series is out. Shall we watch the first episode together on Saturday after work?” you ask Osamu as he approaches you and looks over your shoulder. He rests his hand on the counter next to you, his chest almost touching your back, but he keeps his distance from you respectfully. You are both focused on the trailer, not hearing the doorbell from the store.

Atsumu is tired. The flight was delayed, and he hasn’t been able to sleep properly for weeks. How could he sleep well with all the partying and Hinata as his roommate, who spent the night in the hotel calling his friends from Karasuno. At least that’s what he tells himself… that this is the reason for his sleepless nights. But this thought vanishes when he steps into his brother’s store hungry, actually only wanting to eat a few onigiris and then go home. Into his apartment. His empty, dreary apartment. But as he walks through the door of the store, it feels as if someone has hit his chest with full force, knocking the air out of him.

He sees Osamu leaning towards you with a sense of familiarity. What’s going on there? And why does it bother him so much that you giggle and look at Osamu, who returns your gaze with a nod and a smile before turning to the door? His brother winces when he sees Atsumu. As you turn around as well, your smile disappears.

You look at Atsumu as if you’ve just seen a corpse, before packing your bag and saying goodbye to Osamu with a “See you tomorrow.”, only to walk past Atsumu with quick steps. You don’t even give him a glance, knowing that if you locked eyes with him, your tears would run. You would want to ask him questions upon questions. Why did you break up with me? Why am I not enough for you? Why did you lie to me for so long? Why...

As you walk through the door, you accidentally bump into him. This nudge, which was actually rather gentle, felt so painful. Why does it bother Atsumu to see you standing so close to his brother? Why does it hurt him that you stared at him with those empty eyes, as if he were a stranger? No. Worse, as if he were someone who had hurt you. Why does he have the feeling that he couldn’t make a sound if he opened his mouth now? The answer is simple, and even Atsumu seems to understand it by now as he looks from the now closed door over to Osamu, who stares at him with an indifferent expression crossing his arms in front of his chest. “So this is what someone who has realized that he doesn’t want a relationship looks like? Ya look like shit.”

Oh, how Atsumu would love to punch Osamu in the face. “Why are ya touchin’ my girl?” is bitter on his tongue, but he has no right to say it out loud. After all, he was the one who turned you down. The blonde Miya suddenly realizes how incredibly stupid his action was.

Back then, Atsumu had not expected to be traveling abroad so often. At first, it was only temporary stays. Nothing that would damage a relationship.

But the last few times in particular, he was sometimes away for several months. You kept telling him on the phone that everything was okay, but every time he called Osamu, he said that your eyes were sometimes red when you came to work and that you looked tired and sad.

Atsumu knew he was the reason. That you’d probably be better off without him. After all, you’re a great woman, someone who would find a new partner quickly.

You didn’t deserve to be sad all the time when he was gone. You should be happy. After all, a smile suits you so much better than a sad expression.

Atsumu would concentrate on his career. It would be difficult for him at first, but he would manage without you. He had to… for your sake.

So his mind was made up when he read your unanswered, concerned messages. If he texts you now to say that it’s over, being an ass to you, you’ll be able to forget him quickly… That was what he thought. 

But it wasn’t that easy. Your puzzled messages, your crying voice on his voicemail, broke his heart. Yet he tried to cover it all up with parties and his dear fans. He convinced himself that he was fine. Only to arrive home, see you and realize what an idiot he was, how much he missed you.

And now it’s Atsumu who reaches for his phone and texts you message after message.

Atsumu 8:02 PM: Hey babe, no.. hey Y/n. I know I have no right to text you. But please… let’s talk. I fucked up. Damn, I fucked up so hard that I don’t even know how to start… shit…

Atsumu 8:12 PM: Please… please answer your phone, babe…

Atsumu 8:44 PM: I know I’ve fucked up. I know I hurt and disappointed you. Fuck, I know I was an ass. Yk, I thought I was doing the right thing. 

Atsumu 9:34 PM: Fuck… please answer me… I still… damnit. 

That was the last message you received from Atsumu before you put your phone away and tried to forget him. Why is he doing this to you? Why is he stirring up your feelings again?

But Atsumu doesn’t think about stopping now. He runs to your house, to the apartment building and rings your doorbell. Once, twice, he rings so often that you can’t ignore it. You are about to tell him to leave through the loudspeaker system, but he interrupts you.

“Fuck baby, please open the door. I’m… I still love ya, okay? I always loved ya. I - shit, can ya even hear me? Fuck…” he curses agitatedly and presses the bell next to your nameplate again several times.

But instead of letting him in, you go down to the entrance of the apartment building and open the door with an expression on your face that Atsumu has never seen before. What is it? Anger, sadness, despair? Everything somehow.

“Say... are you kidding me? Do you think that’s funny?” you ask him, bewildered, still standing in the open doorway. Of course, you wouldn’t just believe him. Atsumu could have guessed. Your reaction was completely understandable. But he has to do something to show you that he’s serious.

“No, no, I don’t. I’m dead serious. Please let me explain,” he says, and starts to tell you that he thought a break-up would be best for you because he’s not good enough for you. Since you were obviously so sad about him leaving so often and he didn’t want to be the reason. He tells you that he thought he could get over you, but that he had to realize that you are the most important thing to him. Something… someone he doesn’t want to lose. With shaky hands and a still agitated voice, Atsumu takes out his phone.

“I wanted ya to hate me so that it would be easier for ya. But believe me, I... I couldn’t forget ya. Look, you’re still my wallpaper. All the photos of the two of us are still on my phone, all the memories-“ he is about to unlock his screen when his phone falls out of his hand and drops to the floor. Atsumu seems to be completely overwhelmed right now, as if he doesn’t know what to do. Should he bend down, pick up the phone, should he keep talking to you or hug you? He doesn’t know.

”Baby, please, please, I’ll do anything. Please gimme a chance. I’ll talk to my agent about not takin’ so many jobs abroad. I will be with ya more often. Always write to ya and call ya in the evening when I’m not at home. Let’s look for an apartment so we can move in together. Please, please, I would do anything. Please believe me that I love ya. Please..." he begs in a voice that becomes more and more brittle with every word. His eyes are full of emotion and his hands, which have unconsciously reached for yours, are trembling terribly.

“Two months... two months you ignored me, treated me like a piece of trash.” You say in a low voice as you search for eye contact. Atsumu has never felt so scared. Only now does he realize that the love of his life is standing in front of him, and that this might be the last time he’ll see her again, the last time he’ll touch her skin. But then again… Atsumu was an ass, so why should you forgive him? No, he can’t think like that. After all, you loved him. And if you love him as much as he loves you, then maybe there’s still hope.

“I know, and I know I can never make it up to ya. I know it’s not done with an ‘I’m sorry’. I’m the dumbest, most idiotic ex-boyfriend you’ve ever had. But... I’m stubborn too. And if that means chasin’ after ya for 10 years, drivin’ to yer apartment every day to ring the doorbell and tell ya I still love ya, wishin’ ya a good night every day, nice dreams and telling ya how important you are to me... I’ll do it. Every damn day, if it means there’s still a little hope for us.” He answers you hoarsely, keeping eye contact, hoping that you see how honest his words are.

You sigh, bend down, and pick up his phone before handing it to him. Atsumu doesn’t know what to do with all this. His face grimaces as if he’s expecting the worst. “Then... you shouldn’t lose your phone... if you want to write to me every day,” you answer him, a weak smile on your lips. Atsumu’s sorrowful expression suddenly changes and you see him looking at you with hope.

“Does that mean ya...” the blonde Miya can no longer contain his emotions as he leaps forward and pulls you into his arms. His embrace is so tight that you can barely breathe, as if he’s afraid you’ll slip out of his hands. Firm, but quivering. His whole body is shaking and you’re sure you’ve just felt something wet on your skin. Tears? Is Atsumu crying? “I promise to be a pain in yer ass every day. To text ya, to call ya, to be there for ya. Even in yer sleep. Okay? I love ya... I love ya so much...”

tw: abuse, anger issues, mention of blood

You’ve been with Iwaizumi since your school days. Back then, as a little flirt at school, Oikawa and Matsukawa mainly teased Iwaizumi for having a crush on you.

But in the end, many were jealous of the perfect couple who waltzed together on the dance floor at the prom with loving looks on their faces.

You were inseparable. Even Iwaizumi’s stay in America for his university didn’t affect your relationship. So it was no wonder that you got married after his return and were the perfect happy couple.

At least for the first few years.

The stress of being a coach for the Japanese national team is weighing on Iwaizumi’s mind. He normally handles stressful situations well, but he is under pressure.

If the team fails to perform in the next few games, he will lose many sponsors and possibly even his job.

Iwaizumi is constantly on edge and you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around him so you don’t provoke him.

More often, he has sudden temper tantrums, shouting at you about things that aren’t worth mentioning. “Damn it, I told you I need this one shirt for today. Why isn’t it clean?”

And once, when you stumbled with your words and asked him whether it might not be better to take a break as a coach, he was so angry that he almost hit you. But he managed to hold back and just sighed before going out for a beer in a nearby bar.

You don’t want to admit it to yourself, but right now, you’re really scared of your own husband.

Today was another training match between the Japanese national team and the Indonesian team. The team’s performance was better, but nowhere near good enough to shine. You watched the game on TV and run through your imaginary list in your head already, of potential trigger points for Iwaizumi. You don’t want him to get upset. The laundry is done; the house is clean; the food is also ready and in the fridge. Did you take out the trash? You chew nervously on your lower lip as you walk to the kitchen and let out a relieved sigh. That’s done too.

You are just closing the lid of the garbage can when you hear the key in the lock of your front door and Iwaizumi comes home with a surprisingly normal, “I’m home, my love, smells good in here”. Your shoulders relax immediately, a smile is back on your lips as you walk cheerfully into the hallway to greet Iwaizumi.

“Hello darling! How was your day?” Iwaizumi hugs you and leans down so you can kiss his cheek. “Let me eat something first. My day has been really exhausting,” he sighs, watching you nod and turn around to warm up the food for him. Your husband hangs up his jacket, puts down his bag and is about to turn around to follow you when he stumbles against a nearby vase that you had placed as a decoration for the fall changeover. The vase swings, loses its balance and falls to the floor in pieces.

“Shit!” You hear Iwaizumi curse and immediately run to him, anxiously hoping that nothing has happened to him. But luckily, he is unharmed. “Wait, I’ll clean up the broken pieces, you eat-“ you’re about to say, but Iwaizumi interrupts you loudly. “Always this stupid bullshit you put up. Shit, I could have hurt myself. If I miss now, that’s it for my career!” he shouts and stomps past you. You turn around hastily and apologize. “That wasn’t my intention, really,” you say, before realizing that it was a mistake to talk back. Iwaizumi turns around, his eyes ferocious and angry like a wild animal as he takes a step towards you. Your heart is beating restlessly and you are suddenly afraid.

“Not your intention? Admit it, you’d be happy if I got rid of the job!” he shouts, noticing how you start to tremble and shake your head. But Iwaizumi doesn’t seem to be in his right mind as he takes another step towards you. “Go clean up the mess! Make yourself useful!” he says through gritted teeth as he looks at your anxious and puzzled face. You know you should move, but your body doesn’t seem to listen, too scared to move a finger. And then it happens.

Iwaizumi grabs you by the hair and pulls you towards him. You cry out, weeping bitterly as you hear his voice again. “Are you deaf?! Get going!” he shouts, before pushing you away with more force than necessary. You lose your balance, stumble over your own feet as you fall and hit your head on the edge of the stairs in the hallway next to the broken vase. Your head hurts terribly, something warm flows down your face, sticking to your hair and making your vision suddenly completely different. It gets smaller and smaller before everything goes black in front of your eyes and the sounds around you stop completely.

Iwaizumi is abruptly perfectly sober and only now understands what has just happened. What he has just done to you, the woman he loves more than anything.

His eyes are big as he stares at his hands, which start to tremble in front of him.

Panic spreads through him as he looks at you. At your motionless body, at all the blood under your head.

He doesn’t know how he did it. His memories are hazy, but he can still remember trying to wake you up, in vain.

He had taken off his shirt, pressed it on your head injury to stop the bleeding and somehow managed to call an ambulance. Iwaizumi can’t remember anything else, just the one question from the paramedic who put you on the ambulance stretcher and took you to the hospital. Since Iwaizumi was your husband, he was allowed to drive with you.

“How did this happen?” the paramedic asked, as Iwaizumi answered quietly, “I don’t know... I really don’t know.”

It’s now been some hours after the accident and your head had been stitched up. Thank God it wasn’t as bad as it looked at first.

You’re still in the recovery room, Iwaizumi next to your bed on a chair, his hands folded in his lap as he hangs his head in bewilderment, looking at his wedding ring shining on his ring finger.

What happened? What has become of him? He still can’t believe what he has done.

He looks at his hands again, opens them, starts to tremble, clenches them into fists and realises how he lets out a frustrated sigh, which he had been holding back, as warm tears roll down his cheeks, soaking the fabric of his trousers.

In his mind, there’s only your shaking body, that frightened look, your screaming, and then this unbearable silence.

When you open your eyes, your head throbs a little and you have to squint through the bright, clinical light. “Where... where am I?” you say quietly, looking around the room and noticing that you’re lying in a hospital room. Next to your bed is none other than Iwaizumi. But he looks different. Broken… He shrinks at your words and looks up at you. You see his red eyes and how he hesitates whether it’s okay to take your hand in his. Iwaizumi gets up from his chair, wants to close the distance to your bed but his legs collapse and he falls to his knees when he suddenly starts to... cry? 

“Haji- me...” you say, still feeling exhausted. “I’m... god I...” Iwaizumi doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to look you in the eye. He takes a deep breath, regains his courage before peering at you. Carefully, he grasps your hand, checking if you are afraid, but you don’t seem to pull it away. Maybe because you’re still too tired. Awkwardly, he strokes the back of your hand before resting his forehead on it and closing his eyes briefly.

“I’m a terrible husband. I’ve done everything I shouldn’t have done. Instead of carrying you on my hands, bringing a smile to your face and protecting you from everything that would harm you, I’ve done the exact opposite. Instead of being happy to see me, you’re just scared of me, aren’t you?” he says in a shaky voice and looks up at you again. You are calm. Just stare at him with a hurt look.

“I.... I can understand if you want a divorce. If you don’t want to be with a monster like me anymore. I really can’t even blame you. But... please let me tell you one thing. When I saw you lying on the floor like that, the world collapsed inside me. I was afraid of losing the most important thing in my life. And the most important thing is not my job, no, it’s you. And I’m ashamed that I’ve forgotten that. I am disgusted with myself and I know that is no excuse. What I have done is unforgivable. But please... if there is still a bit of hope, then I will try to do everything I can to be the man you fell in love with again. I want to be your Haji-bear again. Your place of peace, and your favorite person. I will go to anger issues therapy, behavioral therapy. If it’s better for our relationship, I’ll step down as a coach and see if I can find a job as a volleyball coach at a school. No matter what, I would do anything.” Your hand becomes wet as his tears land on it. His words move something inside you. You want to believe him, you don’t want the relationship to end either, but everything that has happened so far will not pass by without damage.

“I need time, Hajime... If you really mean it, please grant me the time...” you answer him and notice how your words seem to tear him apart. But at the same time he seems to want to make the best of the situation. He lets go of your hand and stands up just to sit back down on the chair next to your bed, looking at you determinedly, his eyes still red and swollen. “As much time as you need. If it means we still have a chance...”

A few months pass. Iwaizumi has passed on the house to you and moved into his parents’ house to give you the space you need. He goes to therapy three times a week and tells you about his progress. He is still coaching the national team, but his assistant coach is taking a lot of the work off his hands and the volleyball team seems to be playing better again.

Just like when you were at school, you’ll find a letter in your letterbox once a week. Back then, Iwaizumi always told you a bit about his week and wrote it down because, funnily enough, he was too shy to talk to you in person. Only that in his current letters he writes that he misses you, but hopes that you are doing well at the moment.

He meets you in public places, goes out with you, so that you gradually feel more comfortable with him again, that you can see his progress in therapy and don’t just think it’s empty words.

Six months have passed since the incident. You are standing in the bedroom, changing the sheets, when Iwaizumi comes through the front door of the house. “My love, I’m home,” you hear Iwaizumi’s calm voice. Coming home from his therapy session, he hangs up his jacket in the hallway as your voice lets him know where you are. 

Iwaizumi puts the flowers he bought for you on the kitchen table before he sneaks into the bedroom and sees you trying to unfold the sheets to put them on the blankets. With silent steps, he reaches around your waist to throw you onto the bed with him, wrapped in the covers that were in your hands earlier. Screaming, you laugh in unison with his chuckle as you look into each other’s eyes. “Hajime! Don’t scare me like that.” you laugh softly, while his hand gently tucks your hair behind your ear. Iwaizumi looks at your forehead, at the small scar that is left from your injury, before leaning forward and giving you a kiss on that spot.

“I’m sorry, but that was just so tempting,” he says, closing his eyes as he pulls you closer and just relaxes in bed with you. He strokes your back and kisses your forehead once more. “Hajime... what’s going on? Why are you so clingy suddenly?” you laugh, but Iwaizumi doesn’t join in the laughter, instead answering you seriously.

“Today, six months ago, I almost lost you. I’m just grateful that nothing happened to you. Thankful that you gave me another chance, even though I showed my worst side.” You can’t think of the right words to answer him, so you just smile, snuggle closer to him, and close your eyes. Safe in his arms, with his pulsating heart at your ear, you fall asleep.

tw: mention of abortion, mention of drugs/pills (without consent) 

Suna and you were just friends for a long time. Even if the others saw you more like a couple.

You were the only one Suna didn’t mind when you sat next to him and pulled out one of his earphones to listen to music with him.

You always had the same route to school and if one of you came to school alone, you knew immediately that the other one must be sick. 

With graduation, you mentioned that you might want to study abroad. That time, Suna had a weird feeling in his stomach for the first time. As if he was afraid of losing you.

That was the day he realised that he felt more for you than just friendship.

The same evening, he asked you to come over and watch a movie when he yawned in a very clichéd way to put his arm over your shoulder and pull you closer to him. He didn’t know why he was so nervous, but he just was.

A number of things went through his mind. What if you don’t feel the same way about him as he does about you? Will you still want to study abroad? Would you end your friendship with him if you didn’t feel the same way?

He tried to block out the questions and then, with his usual calmness, asked you if you could imagine anything more than a friendship. Luckily for him, you said yes.

From that moment on, everything was perfect. You had created your own little world over several years. You studied, and luckily not abroad. Suna was successful in volleyball, so you were both able to buy an apartment together quickly.

Just the two of you. Your friends were there from time to time, but in the evenings you were always alone at home, arm in arm, in the quiet flat without any noise or other people to disturb you.

Until one morning where you look at the little piece of plastic in the bathroom, stunned, when the two red stripes tell you that you are pregnant.

You hadn’t spoken to Suna about having children yet, but you’ve been together for so long now and everything is going well that you assume he would be just as happy as you are.

You thought…

When Suna comes home, you’ve already prepared a little surprise. There are a pair of baby shoes on the table in the living room, the pregnancy test in front of them and a little balloon with “Best Dad” written on it. You can’t help smiling as you see Suna walk into the room when you call out “surprise”, looking a little shy in his direction. But Suna’s reaction differed from what you expected.

Almost disgusted, he looks in your direction. “This better be one of those stupid TikTok pranks, right?” he says, and your smile disappears abruptly. Your stomach turns and you feel sick. And not because of the pregnancy. You stand there irritated, only able to utter a quiet “No... it’s not a joke”, confused by his negative reaction. “No? What week are you in? Tell me you can still have an abortion...” he says, annoyed, as he walks towards the table to see if there is any information about the week of pregnancy on the pregnancy test. 

“What?” you say in bewilderment, still looking at Suna, who throws the test on the table in frustration before starting to massage his temples. “We’ll go to the gynecologist tomorrow, okay? Get rid of it. A child means responsibility. You have to look after this thing all the time, you’re no longer flexible and it’s noisy too... I just don’t want that.” 

His words feel like a thousand stabs. Never have you seen Suna act like this before. You anticipated that he might be a bit taken by surprise and perhaps not be able to deal with the situation at first, but Suna seems to have a very clear opinion on the subject. He doesn’t even seem to be willing to talk. But abort a child? Let Suna’s and your baby die just like that? You can’t do that. You don’t want that. 

The two of argue. Suna’s look gets progressively angrier. Yours sadder until he decides to leave the house with a “Do what you want, maybe it’ll die anyway”. Now you’re home alone with his painful words. You stand rooted to the spot in the room for several more minutes until the strength in your legs finally gives way and you slump to the floor, crying bitterly. The night, you spend alone in your bed, without Suna. He doesn’t answer his phone and doesn’t reply to your messages. You don’t hear from him the next day either, and he hasn’t come home. Thank God you get a message from Osamu, who texts you that Suna is with him and that you have nothing to worry about. But how are you supposed to stay at home without worrying if your boyfriend doesn’t get in touch with you and you’ve been arguing for days? You are scared. Afraid for the baby, afraid for the relationship and everything you two have built up.

Another day passes. You lie in bed, tired and lacking in energy. Nevertheless, you pull yourself together and get up, go to the bathroom to get ready for the day and don’t notice when the front door opens and Suna walks in. “Baby doll, I’m at home... and... I’m sorry...” you hear Suna’s voice and walk out of the bathroom. Even though you had a fight, you are still happy to see the man you love so much again. With a somewhat sad smile, he stands there, a bouquet of flowers in his hand as he approaches you.

“I’m really sorry. I behaved like an ass. You took me by surprise with the news and somehow... I don’t know. What do you say you sit down now? I’ll make us a drink and we can talk about all this. About the baby, and what happens next?” You can hardly believe his words. What has Osamu done in the last few days to make Suna suddenly do a full turnaround and be willing to talk to you openly, without shouting about becoming a parent? You make a mental note to thank Osamu later, before nodding with a smile and sitting down on the sofa in the living room.

But what you don’t know is that Suna went to a friend, a doctor, who gave him two pills before he came home. Pills for an induction of abortion. You have to take one now and the other two to three days later.

Suna knows that you wouldn’t take these pills voluntarily.

So he makes sure that you are indeed sitting in the living room before he takes out a small bag containing a pill, puts it in the grinder and turns it into a fine powder before mixing it into your iced tea.

He takes a deep breath, putting his smile back on as he walks towards you in the living room, where you are already waiting for him with happy eyes.

Without saying much, he hands you the glass, sits down next to you and watches you.

“I know it’s all so sudden and I could have said it differently. I really took you completely by surprise with the news,” you say quietly, looking at the iced tea in your hand, unaware that an abortion pill is floating there.

Suna listens attentively as you talk about how you first had to understand what a pregnancy means, but that your overwhelm quickly turned into joy because you are looking forward to holding a mini version of the two of you in your arms in less than 9 months. You talk about all the beautiful things that are going through your head, while Suna continues to listen to you, his eyes constantly focus on the tea in your hands and you.

He keeps looking at you as you raise the glass and press it to your lips, ready to drink the poison cocktail, when he realizes what he was doing. What he’s trying to do here.

Panic strikes him. His green eyes widen as he literally knocks the cup out of your hand. It falls to the floor with a loud thud. “Don’t drink that!” he says in an unsteady voice and looks at you in horror.

But you don’t understand anything, only shake your head.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into me. I... I think I just made the worst mistake of my life,” Suna says, looking back from you to the broken cup. You don’t understand what’s going on and tilt your head, asking him if everything is all right. But when Suna continues talking and tells you what was in your tea, your world collapses. You are shocked that your own boyfriend wanted to do this to you. “I was overwhelmed. I... I know that’s no excuse. But when I heard you talking, I realized that -“ Suna wanted to continue, but your voice cut him off, your words silenced him.

“Let’s break up,” you say, and unlike before, unlike when you argued a week ago, your voice is determined now, your eyes full of pain and betrayal. Those green eyes that used to mesmerize you are now looking at you desperately. “What?” Suna whispers softly, followed by a “No, wait”. But you interrupt him again.

“You just wanted to give me some drugs without my consent so I’d lose the baby?! No, Rintarou… I’m breaking up with you. That... no, I can’t do that.” Abruptly, you get up from the sofa, ignoring the hand that tries to grab you before quickly slipping into a jacket and a pair of shoes just to leave the apartment. Suna wants to run after you, but his legs won’t move. His mind and heart are screaming to run after you, to stop you and tell you he’s sorry, but his body just won’t obey him. When he finally manages to get up, you’re already gone.

Still wearing his slippers and without putting on a jacket, he eventually runs out to check out all the places you love, all your friends, to see if he can find you somewhere. But no matter where he looks, he can’t find you. You don’t reply to messages or phone calls. The mechanical voice of your voice mail greets him directly. “Shit, shit, shit!” he yells as he stands in the park where you two had your first official date. The surrounding people look at him. Some with an irritated look, some as if they were pitying him.

Without really knowing where to go, your legs automatically led you to the bus that goes to Kita’s home.

Kita was one of your best friends back then. And you knew that if you went to Kita and told him not to tell Suna that you were there, he wouldn’t tell his friend either. And that’s exactly what Kita did.

You were in Kita’s guest room when you heard Suna’s voice in the hallway.

He sounded shattered, broken, as he begged Kita to tell him where you were.

This went on for several weeks, until one evening Suna rang the doorbell again, trying to talk to Kita in a voice you had never heard before.

His voice was so thin, so fragile, as if a heap of misery was speaking out of him.

Kita tells him once again that he doesn’t know where you are when you hesitantly open the door, thinking about going downstairs and listening to what Suna has to say. But for now, you just listen to the conversation.

“Please, Shinsuke, I know you know her location. Please, just give her this. Please...” Kita sighs, followed by a soft “ok...” before the front door closes. Your best friend’s footsteps creak beneath the floor as he walks up the stairs, looks at you a little twisted and hands you a large package.

You know that you demand a lot from Kita. It’s not easy for him to lie to his friend either. Eventually you have to talk to Suna.

Alone in your guest room, you spend almost half an hour looking at the unopened package at the other end of the bed until you finally decide to open it. When you see what’s inside, surprise catches you. Multiple emotions flow through your body without you even noticing how your eyes suddenly turn glassy. Small letters and several items are in the box. You take out the letter that is on top of all the other items.

“My love, I don’t even know where to start. I can’t apologize for what I did. Nevertheless, I want to tell you that I’m sorry. I was confused and scared. Our relationship has always been perfect so far and I thought it was great that it was just the two of us and that no one else disturbed our privacy. I was afraid that when we had a child, we would argue, have no more time for each other, and grow apart. I was selfish and didn’t think about how you would feel. I wasn’t thinking about our baby. The thought that we were both going to be parents hadn’t crossed my mind at all. But every time I walked past those little shoes you had placed in the living room, I couldn’t think of anything else but seeing our child standing in them. How it tries to move around in it, sometimes falls down because it loses its balance and seeks shelter with its beloved mom. I regret every second of what I’ve done, every word I’ve said. Hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do, and yet I did it. I am sorry. I am so terribly sorry.

I did some research. Did you know that it is currently very difficult to find midwives? You should probably start looking very early on. My team colleague gave me the number of the midwife he and his wife had at the birth of their two children. I also have three other numbers. You might want to give them a call. There are also birth preparation classes in our town. I have also put a brochure in the package for you. You don’t necessarily have to go there with your partner. With me… So... if you want, you could also go there with Kita, even if I would be happy if we both did it together. But I can understand if you don’t want to.

Are you eating enough? You should pay particular attention to your diet during pregnancy. A lot of women suffer from a vitamin deficiency during pregnancy. But you have probably already discussed this with your gynecologist. Anyway, I’ve written down a few recipes for you that are rich in vitamins. I admit that Osamu helped me a little with this. Oh, and on the back are some things you shouldn’t eat during pregnancy. Raw eggs and products containing them such as ice cream, mayonnaise and so on... you should not eat them, because the risk of salmonella infection is high. Peanuts can contain aflatoxins, which can also harm the fetus... but as I said, I’ve put together a list for you. In case you didn’t already know all this already. There are a few other things in the box. Maybe you’d like to take a look.

I hope you are doing well. I hope the baby is doing well too. Have you thought of a name yet? Do you know whether it will be a boy or a girl? I’m sure there’s already a little bump on your belly. I... would really like to be with you right now. Would love to hold you in my arms and stroke your tummy. I know I made a mistake that can never be fixed. But if you’re willing, if that’s what you want, I’d really like to be by your side again. And if not as your boyfriend, then as the father of our baby. I would like to do couples’ therapy with you so that we can find our way back to each other… So that you can trust me again. Because in all of this, I was the problem and never you. But only if you want it too, of course. I know it may be hard to believe, but I love you. So much that a life without you scares me. I am sorry…”

You’re crying bitterly by now as your tears blur the ink on the letter before you put it aside and look in the box. Next to a small onesie for babies, there is a note with the telephone numbers of midwives, a small book with recipes, the brochure he had mentioned and another box containing photos and memories. Pictures that Suna had always secretly taken of you at times when he thought you looked extra pretty. You always found the photos embarrassing, but for him they were beautiful to look at. Because they were moments when you were just being you, not smiling for the camera or doing anything else to disguise yourself.

There was also a necklace with shells on it in the box. You made it for Suna when you were on vacation in Croatia. It turned out incredibly ugly, yet Suna wore it proudly during the whole vacation. You’re touched that he still has this ugly necklace. Little notes that you wrote to each other at school are also in there. So many more memories from the past. Where had Suna hidden this little box in your apartment so that you never noticed it?

You hastily get up, open the door and run down to the hallway as Kita comes out of the living room and looks at you questioningly. “Is everything all right? Do you need to see a doctor?” He asks concerned, but you just shake your head, wanting nothing more than to see Suna, talk to him again. He asks you if you are absolutely sure, but your determined nod is enough for an answer. So he grabs his jacket and car keys, driving you straight to your ex boyfriend, to your apartment. He doesn’t want you to take the bus in your current state.

Suna is sitting in the living room. In front of him on the coffee table are various reports on pregnancy, parenting and more. His head is leaning on his hands as he takes a deep breath. Have you opened his package yet? He wonders, unable to think clearly, when he hears the key in the door lock and runs into the hallway as if stung by a tarantula. His eyes are wide as he looks at you, standing rooted to the spot in the doorway, not knowing how to react.

“Shinsuke... Drove me here...” you say. “I opened your package.” You continue, watching Suna swallow hard, still not moving an inch from the doorframe. “How are you, the baby?” he asks quietly, almost absent-mindedly, as if he can’t believe you’re really standing in front of him. “Good... can... can we talk?” you ask and watch him nod, having trouble sorting out his feelings. You take a step towards him, clearly seeing the dark circles, the red eyes, the slightly thinner face, as if he has lost weight. And on closer look, you can see his whole body trembling.

“Is everything you wrote in your letter true?” you ask him, trying to keep your voice as calm as possible, even though you’re at your wits’ end. “Yes, yes all of it. I’m sorry for everything... I want nothing more than to see you happy. To see our baby happy. And if you want another partner by your side to be happy, if you don’t want me in your life, then I will accept that.” Suna whispers, knowing that if he were to speak even a little louder, his voice would fail and he would cry. You take another step towards him. “What if I want you? Want to give it another try?” You have barely spoken your sentence before you hear a bitter shuffle from Suna, which he seems to have been suppressing the whole time. His shaky hands carefully reach for your face before he presses his forehead against yours and says softly, “I would wish for nothing more than that.”

Although you hesitate for a second, you finally put your hands around his back and stand with him in the doorway for a while. Neither of you says a word. Both of you let your tears run until Suna releases you at some point and gives you a kiss on the forehead. “You shouldn’t stand for so long. You’d better get some rest,” he says in a somewhat steady voice before helping you out of your jacket and leading you into the bedroom, where he pushes the sheets aside so you can lie down. 

“Rin, but I’m not tired at all...” you say, even though you are exhausted, but Suna lies down right next to you, pulling you close while his free hand moves to your stomach. “I know... But... let’s just lie here like this for a moment, regain our strength before we talk... Talk about everything, our future, how I can make it up to you, our little baby… Agree, baby doll?” He whispers tiredly. Yet you also notice how all the crying is slowly making you a little tired. “Agree, Rin.” you smile weakly, snuggling closer to him as you both fall asleep arm in arm, his hand protectively on your baby bump, your hand on his.

[ninyard]

i am in my renee and andrew besties 4eva era rn (when am i not honestly..) and was wondering if u have any headcanons u’d like to share about them? <3 i love ur brain dude!!

Here’s something:

After thanksgiving, when Andrew has returned from Easthaven, he invites Renee for a sparring session. Renee agrees, and everyone tells her to be careful, that he’s different, that he’s unmedicated and scary and if she thinks she’s in danger she needs to yell for help. She thanks them for their concern with a tight smile and tries to hold back an unfortunately bitter eye roll when her back turns to them. Her and Andrew find their way to wherever it is they usually spar - an empty room? A parking lot?

But when they get there, Andrew doesn’t start. He usually does, with some annoying move that almost always trips her up, but this time he stands in front of her with this blank and bored look in her eyes.

Are you okay? She thinks, but she knows she can’t say it out loud.

The thing about Renee and Andrew, in my opinion, why they work, is they each can recognise themselves in each other. Renee can read Andrew better than he probably thinks that she can, and she gathered a lot about his past purely from insinuations and little comments made here and there. I don’t think she knew who Drake was, but when she heard what happened, and she heard foster father, and she heard Luther’s name mentioned, she knows exactly what the history is there. Andrew doesn’t open up to her like he does to Bee or Neil, but he does share with her the scrapings off the top of his story. When she shared her past with him, she saw the look in his eyes, the shadow that passed over his gaze, and knew what had happened to him. She knew what his questioning meant, the curiosity he held over the things she'd been through. The pieces fit together perfectly, in her opinion, the pieces that told her exactly why Andrew trusted her so much once she'd told him.

“Good or bad?” Renee asks him. She’s talking about Easthaven, his time there, but he doesn’t quite catch on. He rolls his wrist in a circular motion to gesture for her to continue. “The hospital.”

“Bad,” he says. “They weren’t very good at their jobs.”

Renee feels her heart in her throat at his monotonous and unemotional delivery. She also sees that look in his eyes again, this time unsheltered and unprotected by the cloud of medicated mania that usually covered it up.

“Power trip or opportunity?” She asks.

She knows all too well how it feels to be poorly treated by medical staff or authorities as someone who frequently ran into both in her youth. Andrew seems to understand her question, and runs his finger over the lightly raised outline of a knife beneath his arm bands.

"Both and neither." Andrew says. His eyes are tired, and for just a moment Renee finds herself almost... startled? For just a moment, it feels as if she is looking into the eyes of a stranger, stood in front of him, with no smile on his face and no wild look in his eyes. Renee realises that she's never seen Andrew like this before.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She asks, as she’s prepping herself or tying up her hair. She notices how he hesitates.

Andrew doesn’t say anything, but still he doesn’t pursue the start of a fight. He doesn’t step forward to start the session, so Renee doesn’t start either.

“I get it, if you wanted to,” Renee offers, and Andrew looks at her, and his face says I’m not sure that you do. “I know you’ll talk to Betsy. I’m just offering an ear if you need to get anything off your chest.”

“Are you against killing medical professionals?” He says as he shakes himself out to take position. Renee smiles as she matches him.

“I’m against killing anybody these days,” she laughs. “But no, not if they deserved it. Keep that one between us.”

They fight for a while, but Andrew runs out of energy slightly quicker than usual. Renee wishes she could see something in him, some answer, some feeling now that his feelings were finally his own again, but each time she catches his eyes she is only met with this vast emotionless void. Renee naively hopes that with each step he takes, each fist he throws, that maybe he will finally be angry. Looking at him, knowing what he'd been through, imagining what had happened in Easthaven, she wishes he would scream and curse the world for the way it had treated him. It was a thought born from the old Renee, that much was clear. A thought founded in spite and revenge, born from fiery resentment and anger. Renee thinks Andrew deserves to kill each and every person who has felt entitled to him and his body. She would tuck her cross necklace beneath her blouse and go to confession afterwards, but she also knows she'd be right there with him.

[stayevildarling]

gosh ur writing is truly amazing 🥹 I'm obsessed! I'm wondering if I could possibly request a Zelda Spellman, Cordelia Goode and reader fic with some angst? I'm currently obsessed with these characters rn and you honestly write them both so well🙃 if not tho that's fine <3

Cordelia Goode x Zelda Spellman x Reader - I'll crawl home to them

A/N: I am obsessed with this request!! Thank you 🫶🏻 I have missed writing for Zelda and after rewatching the whole show I just kept thinking about this idea, Cordelia makes it even better. I hope you enjoy and this is what you wanted <3 For any witch experts on here, please ignore some of the witchcraft and rituals, I wrote it to fit the storyline and it's not too accurate to both Delia and Zelda's powers. Also, I wish I could have carried this on for a lifetime but it was long already.

warnings: mention of death, mention of witch hunters, mention of violence, mention of guns, mention of blood, mention of smoking, angst, fluff at the end

word count: 5k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker, @billiebeanhoward, @lanawinters-ily, @kenzbro, @minaslittleone, @httpfiftyshadesofgay, @whitelotus00, @ninaahs, @vintagepaulson, @isle-of-earle, @paulsonsratched, @stepintomyworld, @grilledcheeseandguavajelly, @lucyintheskywithxanax, @fanfics4world, @mymiraclewitch, @hazard-to-myself, @awritersometime, @ohrwurm26, @wastdstime

Sitting at the breakfast table in the academy's dining hall, Cordelia stretches her arms, feeling the satisfying pop of her joints. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee mingles with the scent of warm pastries, that the supreme had prepared hours ago. Zelda sits across from her, with grace buttering a slice of toast, her usual newspaper beside her. Both women look relaxed, yet tired, the week's demands having taken their toll on the headmistress and high priestess.

As you walk into the room, balancing a tray with breakfast items, you set it down with a soft thud, both of your girlfriends greeting you with content smiles. The three of you had barely seen each other all week, each wrapped up in the responsibilities of running their respective academies. Cordelia lived in New Orleans, running Miss Robichaux's Academy as headmistress plus supreme, Zelda living in Greendale, both teaching and leading the Academy of unseen arts for witches and warlocks. You had originally spent a majority of your time in Greendale, growing up there, before eventually wanting to see more of the world and finding a certain blonde far away.

Fate had bounded you together again, as both Cordelia and Zelda had known each other from countless council meetings in the past and when the three of you reconnected and realised that you all not only knew each other but had a certain attraction towards each other, one thing eventually led to another. You hated the idea of being far from either of your lovers but as the three of you mastered the ability of teleporting, Zelda additionally knowing how to astral project, it made the whole thing a lot easier. The three of you practically lived at Miss Robichaux's now, despite Zelda still calling Greendale her home and making an appearance at her home at least twice a day. This week she had only been in Greendale, as there had been some troubles with newer witches and warlocks at the academy. You had always been stuck in between, wanting nothing more than to help your girlfriends out with the burden that their responsibilities brought. And so you mostly split yourself, teaching and helping Delia in the mornings and working besides Zelda in the afternoon, before eventually collapsing into a bed with either of them, whether that was Greendale or New Orleans.

This is partially the reason why you enjoyed weekends so much as you knew you could always spent it with both of your girlfriends as they made those their priority, knowing if they didn't, this relationship wasn't going to work out. The three of you dig into breakfast, enjoying the rare moment of silence and the comfortable embrace of sitting beside each other. For a while, you simply savour each other's company, the peacefulness of the morning making the moment even more precious.

,,So, what do you both have planned for today?'' you ask, breaking the silence eventually. Cordelia sighs, setting her coffee cup down. ,,Unfortunately, I have an urgent meeting with the council. They've been quite insistent on discussing the new security measures, since.. you know'' she says, Zelda rolling her eyes slightly at her statement. Of course you knew what the supreme was talking about, several academy's and covens having been attacked lately and you knew this was far more important.

As you glance at Zelda, hoping she would at least be free, she shows the same guilty glance as she lights a cigarette. ,,And I'm afraid, I have to join Cordelia'' she huffs, knowing security measures are important but equally she wanted nothing more than to at least have a break this weekend. You nod thoughtfully, forcing a gentle smile and pretending this didn't hurt but at the same time who are you to whine about something as important as this. ,,I'm sorry sweetheart'' Cordelia coos, brushing her hand against your cheek with a guilty expression.

,,It's okay Delia'' you reassure but both witches are able to see right through you, not just due to their magic and abilities but also having been by your side for a very long time and knowing whenever you are playing it cool in front of them. ,,How about dinner tonight? just the three of us?'' your redhead girlfriends suggest and you beam a little upon hearing her offer. ,,Would you both be done by then?'' you ask a little hesitantly, knowing that those kind of meetings can take hours sometimes. ,,We'll make sure we are dear'' Zelda encourages and you trust her every word. ,,I'll take care of it'' you announce happily before Cordelia's brown eyes meet yours.

,,You don't have to sweetheart'' she tries with a head tilt but you are quite adamant, always happy to make your lovers happy. ,,What do you have in mind my love?'' Zelda asks affectionately as she abandons her cigarette in a nearby ashtray. ,,I'll see what I can find, leave it to me'' you announce happily before they nod contently. And so, with a plan in place, the three of you finish breakfast, enjoying the fleeting moment of togetherness before the days responsibilities pull you in different directions. You are the first one to leave, wanting to give both witches some space to prepare for their meeting and wanting to make sure you could make this dinner special. They both part you with loving glances, thank yous and kisses goodbye.

,,I need to stop by home first, Hilda has some kind of emergency apparently'' Zelda announces to her blonde girlfriend with a hint of annoyance in her voice. ,,Oh, is everything alright?'' Cordelia asks, concern laced in her voice, ,,Don't worry, probably a baking disaster of some sorts'' the witch snorts and the blonde can't help but smirk at her girlfriends antics. ,,See you there'' she smiles before they kiss goodbye. While Zelda teleports back towards greendale, you make your way towards the markets, Cordelia getting ready for her meeting and glancing over the documents they had sent beforehand one more time.

As you make it to the markets, you instantly feel at home, as Cordelia would take you here often on weekend mornings, picking up either flowers, ingredients or fresh produce with you. She had always made it a habit but since knowing you she enjoyed going with you even more, even before the two of you had become so close, although as you think about it a little further, you believe one of the reasons you had fallen for the supreme was how she took you around the markets with the brightest smile, holding onto your hand and guiding you from stall to stall with such excitement that it made your heart quickly beat faster for her. You had thought about the kind of meal to make on your way there already and eventually settled on both Zelda and Cordelia's favourite. As you walk through the markets, greeted by some familiar faces as they recognised you by now, you purchase several different ingredients.

Meanwhile, Zelda had made it to her home in Greendale, brushing past Ambrose who had greeted her with a quick ,,Hello Auntie'' before rushing into his room with several books and snacks as if he was planning something. And if Zelda wasn't so busy, she would have investigated what he was up to but she couldn't make the time to care. ,,What is it Hilda? I'm incredibly busy with this council business'' she huffs as she walks into the kitchen, feeling both annoyed and a little on edge what her sister wanted. The blonde stands by the kitchen island, some fresh cupcakes in front of her, as well as a fresh pot of coffee and tea. Zelda approaches with a raised eyebrow before glancing at her sister. ,,So?'' she asks with a raised eyebrow before the blonde looks away, trying to remain serious. ,,Well you have been so busy at the academy and you know.. with your girls'' she begins, giggling excitedly at the later part. ,,And I just really wanted to catch up'' she speaks, forcing a bright smile in the hopes that Zelda wouldn't be too upset and end up killing her for this.

,,Catch up?'' Zelda scoffs almost sarcastically as she couldn't believe her sister made her come all the way here for that. ,,Oh please Zelds, I made your favourite'' she tries with a beaming smile and the redhead simply rolls her eyes before taking a seat, lighting a cigarette and letting Hilda pour her a cup of coffee and slowly sliding a plate with a cupcake in front of her. ,,So how have you been Zelds? the girls?'' she asks excitedly and despite her cold demeanour, the redhead appreciated the gesture nevertheless, after the last year having grown closer to her sister than ever before and even if she wouldn't admit it to anyone or herself she had missed her, especially being so busy lately.

While the two sisters catch up, Cordelia had made her way to the council meeting, making it there way too early but wanting to catch up with some of the people from the academy's that had been attacked and hoping to offer her support if they needed anything at all. As the weather had taken a turn for the worse, you decided that you wouldn't be able to find the last few ingredients at the markets, trying another store but after this also being unsuccessful, you decide to abandon the things you had purchased already at the academy, before heading to Greendale, hoping you could either find some other seasonal things there or possibly being able to ask Hilda for some assistance what to do about this meal, because you knew by now if anyone could cook or bake then it was her. With practiced ease, you teleport into Greendale, stopping by the Main Street first before heading into a shop.

,,You're late'' Cordelia states with a chuckle as Zelda finally joins her for the council meeting, the redhead instantly rolling her eyes. ,,Everything okay with Hilda?'' the supreme asks, always having been fond of her girlfriends sister and especially her kindness and humour. ,,Yeah, believe it or not she wanted to catch up'' the redhead huffs before Cordelia tilts her head a little. ,,That's very sweet'' she coos, quickly stealing a kiss before the two of them make their way into the main room, joining both the council and the other headmistresses and witches and warlocks in charge from academy's around the country. Thunder begins rumbling outside, illuminating the room with bright flashes, matching the seriousness of the subject, as well as a certain witches mood.

Time seems to pass by as slow as possible, Zelda fidgeting with her rings as she was growing impatient, wanting nothing more for this to be over and to smoke, while Cordelia listened intently, knowing the importance of this, despite finding her girlfriends antics quite adorable. ,,You know'' Cordelia begins whispering ,,You can pretend to go to the bathroom and steal away for a smoke'' she chuckles and Zelda smirks, finding more and more reasons why she loved Cordelia. In a swift motion, she stands up, straightening her skirt before excusing herself to the bathroom, the supreme trying hard to suppress a smile as Zelda walks away, swaying her hips more than necessary on the way out, causing for the blondes cheeks to be coated in a slight red shade. For a moment, Cordelia reaches for her phone, checking for any notifications but there aren't any and it leaves a slight bitter taste in her mouth as you hadn't checked in with her yet and it had been hours of them being here.

As Zelda returns a few moments later, having tried to cover up the smell of smoke with some perfume, Cordelia again leans in close before whispering ,,Have you heard from Y/N?'' and the redhead simply shakes her head, however noticing the concern laced in her girlfriends features. ,,I'm sure she's fine, probably getting lost shopping at the markets or blasting music while preparing dinner'' and the supreme chuckles, able to imagine both scenarios so well and so she sighs a little before focusing on the meeting again as both her attention and input was undeniably needed, considering she was the supreme after all.

It's not until hours later when the same concern seems to reappear on the supreme's features and mind as they had both finished the council meeting and neither had a message. Cordelia's concerned brown eyes meet Zelda's green ones and despite the redhead knowing her girlfriend was prone to overreact and worry too much, she also found it a little strange, despite her not one to admit such a thing. ,,I'll call her'' the supreme announces, clutching the phone to her ear in anticipation. ,,Straight to voicemail'' she announces before her eyebrows furrow in confusion. ,,I'm sure she'll be home'' Zelda tries encouraging the supreme before Zelda reaches for Cordelia's shaky hands before the two of them teleport back into the academy in New Orleans.

As soon as they step inside, they find both darkness and silence, the academy both dead quiet and no one inside. All of the witches had left for the weekend and so it was no surprise, however you not being there concerned them. ,,Maybe she went to Greendale?'' Cordelia suggests and despite that outcome not making any sense, Zelda agrees, sure this was just some mixup. ,,Let me go and check, you stay here incase she comes back but I'll let you know'' Zelda reassures, holding onto the blondes hands before pressing a kiss to her forehead in order to ground the supreme a little. With a comforting smile, the redhead disappears in front of the supreme's eyes, quite literally blasting into dinner at her home in Greendale.

,,Zelds? what are you doing here?'' Hilda asks with a hint of concern and surprise after having seen Zelda hours before to catch up. ,,I-'' she begins but before she can finish, the phone interrupts them, causing Hilda to hold up her finger ,,Just a sec''. The blonde hops towards the telephone before speaking ,,Spellman Sister's mortuary, how may I help?'' the blonde speaks with excitement, before her features turn incredibly serious. ,,Oh dear right'' she says, listening to the person on the other side of the phone speak further and share some more details. ,,And you are sure on the name?'' she asks before her features both tense and drop further. Zelda doesn't pay much attention to the call as she had gotten used to them by now, before lighting a cigarette, wondering whether you may have been here and she may have simply just missed you and you may already be with Cordelia by now.

However, with a soft whoosh Cordelia appears right beside the redhead, causing for her features to wash over with confusion. ,,Cordelia?'' the redhead speaks in confusion, abandoning the cigarette she was about to light. ,,I- something is wrong, I don't have a good feeling'' she explains, the concern written across her face. Zelda watches as Hilda returns, her expression unreadable as she locked both shocked and traumatised. ,,Hilda?'' the redhead asks in a serious tone, having seen that expression a few times before. The supreme's head snaps towards the blonde's, not having noticed her presence until now. ,,Um- they- are'' she begins, unable to finish her sentence. ,,They- bringing- a body'' she stutters, before Zelda rolls her eyes, having more important things to worry about as of right now. ,,Well yes Hilda, this is a mortuary after all'' she hisses, but Cordelia can already tell that something was wrong.

,,It's- oh god how am I going to say this-'' she begins, tears welling in her eyes. ,,Just spit it out'' Zelda hisses, not in the mood to deal with her sister antics. ,,It's Y/N'' she finally announces, before the room begins spinning for both the redhead and blonde, staring at Hilda in both disbelief and shock. ,,Oh don't be ridiculous, it can't be Y/N'' Zelda remarks, covering up her inner turmoil and disbelief of her sisters statement. ,,I-'' Hilda stutters, unsure what to say as the people on the phone seemed quite adamant. Cordelia remains frozen in her spot, her worst fear finally coming true and her not having any doubts about this as you had been nowhere to be found. ,,What did they say? how do they know its her? why would she be in Greendale?'' Zelda begins questioning her sister as she paces around the room, lighting a cigarette. ,,I don't know Zelds, I'm so sorry'' Hilda announces, taking a seat at the table as the shock had rippled through her bones.

,,How long until they get here?'' Cordelia finally speaks, meeting Hilda's eyes before the blonde looks down. ,,About twenty minutes'' Hilda announces, offering the supreme to sit but she declines, feeling like her world had stopped spinning when hearing her statement. Zelda remains pacing, with each minute passing, her impatience growing as she lights cigarette after cigarette, chain-smoking her concern away and still thinking this is some kind of mixup. The three of them are startled, as Ambrose steps into the room excitedly, dancing along to some music that none of them could hear. ,,What's for dinner auntie-'' he asks excitedly before laying eyes upon both his aunts and Cordelia and their expressions.

,,Woah what's wrong, who died'' he jokes, assuming this was just some catastrophe at an academy, not realising the extend of the situation yet. Cordelia's eyes swell with tears further as Zelda gives him a glare that could kill him if she tried hard enough. ,,Ambrose darling, they are bringing in a body'' Hilda announces gently, before his features grow serious. ,,It's Y/N'' she carries on before his face turns pale, finally understanding the extend of the situation. His face snaps towards the hallway as he hears a car approaching, quickly glancing at his aunties before assuring ,,I'll go check'' not wanting to put that burden on either of them. ,,Thank you'' Hilda speaks softly, before the real waiting game begins.

Ambrose tries his best to move the body downstairs as quickly and safely as possible. To his surprise, the three women walk down the staircase, joining him with faced filled with hope and anticipation. He is quick to open the body bag, taking a look at the persons features before his heart stops in his chest. ,,I'm so sorry'' he sighs, before their heads snap towards him. ,,No..No.. No'' Cordelia cries out, taking a step closer and seeing your lifeless and pale expression. ,,This can't be'' Zelda sighs in disbelief still, taking a step closer before taking a look at you. ,,That's not her.. that's not our darling girl'' she shakes her head in disbelief, despite the others knowing this was just the shock speaking. ,,I need to.. I need to see her wrist'' Cordelia speaks through tears, before Ambrose glances at Hilda in confusion, the blonde simply nodding through her own tears. ,,She has a little tattoo on her wrist'' the blonde chokes on a sob before Ambrose carefully inspects your wrist, finding the tattoo and sighing.

,,What happened we can fix this, Zelda right?'' Cordelia begs, the shock rippling through her body as she shakes uncontrollably. Now Cordelia was always strong, put together and able to stay calm in situations like these. However after losing most of the people closest to her in her life, watching one of her most promising witches die in her arms, her mother and true mother figure, she couldn't deal with this, not you, not her sweetheart. ,,Ambrose, how long has it been?'' Zelda asks, trying to keep her composure and ignoring your lifeless body besides them. ,,Auntie.. I can't tell like this, I'd need to..'' he begins but his auntie is having none of it. ,,I need to know now'' she speaks through gritted teeth, Hilda in the meantime holding onto Cordelia's sobbing shoulders.

,,Give me some time and I'll figure it out'' he explains, beginning to put on his gown and glasses before Hilda ushers them away and upstairs. ,,Let me make you some tea darling'' Hilda speaks softly, ushering both women to sit down. Zelda remains standing, pacing around the room before again lighting cigarette after cigarette while Cordelia is falling apart on the same chair Hilda had sat her in moments ago. ,,This can't be real, what was she even doing in Greendale for satans sake?'' Zelda hisses, her heels echoing against the floor. ,,I don't know darling but Ambrose will figure it all out'' Hilda tries, trying to remain strong for them, despite the thought of your death also killing her as she had always been fond of you and treating you like a daughter.

It takes around ten minutes before Ambrose rushes upstairs, holding onto the doorframe with a shocked expression, as they all rise to their feet. ,,It's um... it's witch hunters'' he speaks, finally catching his breath. ,,What?'' Cordelia asks in shock before he ushers them downstairs. ,,Remember the bodies you asked me to examine from those attacks?'' he speaks as he examines the bullet further. ,,It's exactly the same like the others'' he recalls. Cordelia's features turn even paler as the extent of the situation settles in. ,,I assume it's been an hour maybe two'' he explains before the supreme seems to snap back into reality. ,,Zelda we need to speak to the council at once, check on the academies'' she speaks and Zelda simply looks at her with a raised eyebrow, caring more about you than any of those things as of right now. ,,We can fix this still, if we try, she may have a chance'' the high priestess speaks, having done her fair share of resurrections herself.

,,Go, we have got this, right Ambrose?'' Hilda offers, before he nods confidently. Cordelia steps over your body before leaning in a little closer ,,You've got this darling, please come back to us'' she begs, a tear running down her features before she presses a kiss to your forehead. ,,I promise we have this'' Hilda encourages her sister, noticing her hesitation. ,,Bring her back to us.. please'' she begs while reaching for your hand and is met with two reassuring glances before the two witches disappear into the night. While they inform both the council and make sure their academies, witches and warlocks are safe, Hilda and Ambrose begin the ritual, gathering the necessary items before beginning the ritual, chanting some latin words and working hard on bringing you back home where you belong.

The last hours had been nothing but painful, after your arrival in Greendale, you had managed to actually gather the ingredients for dinner for your girlfriends. As you glanced at the time, you realised that you still had a while to return to the academy to cook and so you decided to check on Hilda as you hadn't seen her in a week as well as Ambrose. However, you hadn't noticed that someone had been following you, unaware that they had been following you for a while, in New Orleans already days ago and watching your every step, simply waiting for the opportunity to get you alone. Before you knew it and could reach the Spellman's home, they managed to find your trace, dragging you deeper into the woods, demanding answers from you about your girlfriends. They didn't care for you, nothing special, just a simple witch but they had figured your connection to both the supreme and another powerful witch and so they wanted their location, ideally the councils whereabouts to cause as much death as possible.

Much to their surprise, you had remained silent, despite the torture and abuse they had used on you in order to reach their agenda and get their answers. You would have never given anything up, as you would quite literally protect them both with your life, knowing their lives and positions meant so much more than your own. After they didn't get any answers out of you, they felt like they didn't need you anymore, knowing time was running out and so they gave you one last chance before they pulled the trigger, everything going black afterwards. And ever since you had found yourself in this strange darkness. Moments before your life was coming to an end, you had seen a little collection of your happiest memories, growing up in Greendale, meeting Zelda for the first time, teaching alongside Cordelia and spending hours in the greenhouse with her, your first kiss with both of them and your last. After that, everything had been quiet, peaceful and darker than any dream you had ever had.

Eventually, you find yourself in a dark forest and somehow you must have known that this wasn't real as it felt like any other one of your nightmares. Unaware, that you were quite literally fighting death, as Ambrose and Hilda tried their hardest on bringing you back. It was the biggest fight of your life, walking past all of the people you had lost in your life, the people that had guided you, the people that you had lost years ago as they begged you to join them, follow them further into the darkness. But the only thing on your mind was Cordelia, almost being able to feel the way she'd kiss you on the forehead, almost being able to feel the way Zelda would hold onto your hand.

It takes another couple of hours before Zelda and Cordelia return to you, having secured both academies and alerted the council so they could take care of this further as their main concern was you. As they find themselves in the basement again, they are surrounded by candles, Cordelia a little shocked as she knew about the different kind of magic Zelda practiced but never having seen a ritual quite like this and the darkness of the whole thing. ,,Any news?'' the supreme asks, anxiously as she finds Ambrose and Hilda sitting beside you. ,,No.. it's all up to her now, she needs to fight her way back to us'' he explains, before they nod with sad glances, Zelda's green ones meeting Cordelia's brown ones. They join them in the end, sitting beside you on the floor, praying in their own ways, Zelda praying to Hecate and Cordelia begging over and over again for someone to bring you back.

,,You can do this darling, you need to find your way back to us'' Cordelia whispers, tears pouring down her cheeks as it had been hours of them sitting there. And after hours of aimlessly walking through the forests of death, you finally manage to get towards the end, hearing their voices literally calling for you. However, the fight against life and death wasn't that easy, as you walked past what looked like your own grave, your name engraved on the gravestone and the thought of you being buried in this dark forest made you feel uneasy, wanting nothing more than to return home. And so with one last effort, you keep crawling towards them, at this point beaten and defeated by the looming shades of death. And then with one loud shriek you finally take a breath, your entire body on fire and hurting as the wound from the earlier bullet impact that Ambrose had successfully removed stings through your entire body.

,,Y/N'' Cordelia breathes out in relief as she begins sobbing uncontrollably. ,,Oh praise Satan'' Zelda breathes out in relief, wiping at her own tears. Ambrose raises an eyebrow at her statement, before Hilda pats his shoulder. ,,Well done darling'' she praises him as he sighs in relief that this ritual had actually worked. ,,Darling it's okay shh.. don't speak'' Cordelia coos as she watches you struggle against this pain. Zelda could only imagine what you must feel like as of right now, having seen this kind of awakening a few times. ,,You need to rest my darling girl'' she coos before the supreme softly strokes your cheeks, guiding you softly back to sleep as she knows you are safe as of right now.

Eventually, they managed to get you upstairs, into Zelda's bedroom, keeping you comfortable as they had washed and gotten you into some new and less bloody clothes. Cordelia watched in pain as Zelda carefully inspected and treated your injuries, some very visible ones as your body was coated in bruises and cuts from the attack. They both stay right by your side, Cordelia having used one of her spells to ease the pain. Zelda having some magic tea from Hilda right by your side for when you would wake up. The two witches had in the meantime settled on the bed beside you, wanting nothing more than to stay right here for you whenever you would wake next, despite knowing it could take hours, possible days for that to happen as your body needed the right amount of time to adjust and regain it's strength.

The next time you wake it's several hours later, the moon illuminating the dark bedroom. As you open your eyes, you realise the unfamiliar surroundings and panic for a moment until you realise it's your girlfriends bedroom. Inspecting your body and the lack of pain due to Cordelia's magic, you debate whether it had all been a dream for a moment. With shaky legs, you manage to rise to your tired feet, turning on the little lamp in the corner in order to see, before laying eyes upon Cordelia and Zelda, sitting against the head frame of the bed and resting on each other's shoulder, still in the clothes they had been wearing this morning. And then everything dawns on you, the attack, the forest and waking up on the floor besides your lovers. ,,Delia? Zelds?'' you whisper, as the shock of it all seems to drown you for a moment.

They both immediately wake with a sharp inhale of their breathing, before they rush to your side. ,,Sweetheart, what are you doing up?'' Cordelia speaks, her voice filled with concern. ,,I- I woke up'' you explain in confusion, your voice still hoarse from the events. ,,Sit down my love'' Zelda instructs and you oblige, feeling fatigue wash over you. Cordelia helps you to sit down on the bed, before Zelda passes you some water. ,,Drink up'' she instructs and you do as you are told again, the cold liquid feeling nice against your dry throat. As you pass her the glass again, you suddenly find Zelda crying, despite trying to hide her sniffles. ,,Why are you crying Zelds?'' you ask in confusion, your eyebrows knitting. ,,Darling, do you remember what happened?'' Cordelia asks gently, not wanting to overwhelm you with the truth.

,,I think I was dead?'' you question, meeting their gazes as their faces turn a little paler. ,,You're safe now darling, we brought you back'' the supreme coos, before taking you into her arms. ,,Who did this to you?'' Zelda hisses before taking a seat beside you and gently stroking your bruised and beaten cheeks. ,,Witch hunters I think'' you speak, trying to recollect what had happened. ,,I don't know who they are but they..'' you begin but quickly stop yourself, not wanting to concern your girlfriends further. ,,They what?'' Zelda asks with a hint of seriousness in her voice as anger overtakes her and she was for sure going to kill them once she found them. ,,It's okay, doesn't matter'' you quickly try to brush it off but Cordelia can tell there was more to this and she desperately needed to know in order to find them.

,,Come on darling, tell us'' the supreme encourages, gently moving your chin so you can face her. As your eyes lock with her brown pleading ones you begin speaking again ,,They wanted the councils location and both of yours'' you admit, almost whispering. Cordelia's eyes close, instantly understanding the extend of the situation and knowing that this happened because you'd rather protect them both. ,,And then what? they just shot you anyway?'' Zelda asks in confusion, not having the full picture yet. ,,No honey'' Cordelia tries but you simply glance into your lap before explaining. ,,I didn't tell them anything'' you mumble into yourself before Zelda's head snaps towards you. ,,And why ever not?'' she asks in confusion before you whisper ,,Because I would rather keep you both safe''.

The statement causes for silence to fill the room, Cordelia simply pulling you into her arms again, holding you close to her chest, knowing her sweetheart to be a fighter and she knew that you would rather keep them safe, given your history and what a fighter you truly are and how big your heart had always been. Zelda struggles to understand your statement, while she would have told the witch hunters to go to hell and not say anything either, she doesn't understand why you didn't. She'd rather have them find them and fight them herself, rather than seeing you in danger and this extend of pain. Slowly though, as gentle brown eyes meet hers, she begins relaxing a little, understanding how true and how big your love for them truly was in order to sacrifice yourself to keep the both of them safe.

,,You did a brave thing my love'' Zelda finally speaks, gently taking your hands into her own. ,,But do me favour?'' she asks, encouraging you to meet her eyes. ,,Please never do that again'' she tuts and you and Cordelia can't help but chuckle, feeling a little lighter being in their arms again and seeing your girlfriend back in her old antics and habits. ,,Promise'' you whisper before holding onto the redhead. ,,I'll never stop keeping you safe though'' you mumble before she raises an eyebrow. ,,Maybe we can work on other ways for that sweetie'' Cordelia tries before you smile at her with a nod. After being in their arms a little while longer you glance at the supreme once more before fiddling with your fingers as a nervous habit. ,,What's going to happen now?'' you ask anxiously and the blonde can quickly tell what you are referring to. ,,The academies are safe, the council is handling it and will find them, I promise'' she reassures.

,,So you'll both stay tonight?'' you ask and your girlfriends eyes lock as your question kind of kills them both. They realise then that they had been prioritising the academies too much in order for you to ask this kind of question after a day like this. Without speaking, they decide here and there to dedicate more time to you, more time with the three of you and to figure this out for you. ,,Of course we will stay, silly'' Zelda tuts, before lovingly stroking your cheek and pressing a soft kiss to your lips. ,,Bummer about that dinner'' you sigh after a while, causing your girlfriends to chuckle lowly. ,,Are you hungry darling?'' Cordelia asks softly and you shily nod, considering the time. ,,What do you want, anything for my darling girl'' Zelda speaks softly and you shily glance at her before requesting some grilled cheese. ,,On it'' she chuckles before pressing a kiss to your cheeks and leaving for a moment.

Cordelia simply pulls you into her arms, gently stroking over every cut as if you are the most fragile thing on the planet before gently stroking your stomach, careful of the scar that now formed where the bullet had hit you hours before. ,,Does it still hurt a lot angel?'' she asks carefully before you shake your head. ,,Your magic worked well'' you smile before she looks at you in confusion. ,,How did you know?'' she asks before you giggle. ,,Delia I died and then you brought me back, without your magic I'm sure it would hurt a hell of a lot more'' and Cordelia can't help but chuckle despite the seriousness of it all, simply glad to have you back in their arms and to have her same brave girl with the same antics and humour back. And despite knowing this would still be a lot of work tomorrow, both in finding the witch hunters and keeping everyone safe in the future but also working with you through what you had endured. But she feels confident as of right now, having you in their arms, as you quite literally crawled right back to them, never being able to simple leave them like this, even through death.

[chansbabygirlsstuff]

hi hi !! ur writing is so cute!

Request here,

can you write something like best friend's popular brother hyunjin who secretly likes reader (she does as well but thinks she has no chance) and then one day he confesses being all shy and shes like WHAT

anything like this u can decide i love whatever you write !<3

Hey beautiful, thank you for requesting, your lovely comment made my day! ( I was having a difficult day) so with lots of love, I will do this for you!

Song recommendation: Popular by the weekend

Popular

Paring:hyunjin!x!reader!

Warning: fluff

Your POV

Mr. popular passes through the corridors, his scent leaving traces behind him, leaning against my locker my eyes follow him and walk all the way outside, his smile flashing to his friend talking about something only them will know.

"Hello? Are you listening to me?" my best friend catches my attention from him "Mhm? Yeah I am" My eyes draw to her now

"so are you gonna go?" she asked seriously "Where?" I asked confused

"I JUST TOLD YOU" Her frustration lands on me "Sorry I didn't pay attention" I truthfully say "To my house" She sighs "My stupid brother is going to bring Ashley over to the house and you know she annoys my ass like I can't stand watching her being so stupid with my brother like she is all over him and-" I cut her off before she explodes

"Hey, calm down girl it's ok, I will be there for you" I calm her down "Thanks, but you know... it's not because I'm jealous of my brother is just that she is such a pick me and every fucking girl is gushing over him and it's just so annoying" I understand her, I wouldn't like seeing my brother with some other girl in my house about every day

"do you know if they are dating?" my curious heart asks feeling a ting of jealousy "I don't know, I hope not"

We get to class and sit down, I look over at Hyunjin who is sitting in front of me, oh my poor little heart, when will you stop loving him?

4:40 pm

Yeji and I get ready to head to her house, we walk outside the school's door and feel the nice weather hitting our faces "Ain't it lovely Yeji" I smile loving this weather and wishing it would be like this everyday

"the weather is nice" she smiles and closes her sweater, "how about we watch the new movie that just came out 2 weeks ago?" she asks me "What movie?" I ask curiously "Well the tale of the nine-tailed fox" She answered my question "Oh, the one where Lee Dong-wook appears?" she nods as we get excited about thirsting over a 40-year-old man.

We get to her house open the door and leave my stuff in a chair "Let me get the popcorn ready" I say heading to the kitchen "ok girl ima put your stuff in my room and get everything ready" she shouts from the door already hearing her steps as she walks through the stairs

"hey y/n" Hyunjin smiles at me while making something to eat for himself "Hey Hyunjin" my heart drops as I didn't see him at first

It's normal for me to be at their house so he is accustomed to seeing me around here, we have known each other since I was 5 and he was 6, Yeji and I knew each other from kindergarten and we always used to play with her brother in my house or her house, so we become friends a long time ago, but I feel like it all changed since we entered high school since I was 15 we don't talk as much as before, just small talks, no more movie nights or baking time with him like we sorta got uncomfortable with each other, he also became Mr, popular at school so I believe he feels better than us now. Now I'm 17 and he is 18 and yeah we are in the same grade because his dumbass failed chemistry in 10th grade, obviously, he was so busy fucking his ex-girlfriend and doing her work for her than concentrating on himself that he was swept away 1 whole year because of it.

"How are you doing?" he asked me smiling at me and looking back down at his sandwich "I'm doing good and you?" I ask looking the popcorn to put it in the microwave. "I've been good, what are you guys doing today?" he asked me to make another of our famous small talks "We are going to watch a movie and maybe I'm staying over" I smiled and continued doing my work. "nice, lucky you, I have to do a project for history fro next week" "ah yeah the ones about the empires?" I ask "Yeah, I got put in with Ashley" he whispers and rolls his eyes at me showing his annoyance, and I laugh silently "It would've been better if I got chosen to be with you, you are pretty smart and organized, and we known each other for most of our life" he continues to finish his sandwich. "yeah right? I got chosen with Lia, so it was not bad at all, just her brother is a bit creepy" I say making a weird face remembering her brother and how immature he acts.

"oh yeah Daniel is awful" I nodded and put the popcorn in the microwave not forgetting what he said about me my tummy filled with butterflies, but again I reminded myself I couldn't let these feelings get the best of me, he barely talks to me and yeji would be so mad at me if I ever get to date him.

"But if you ever need me to him in his place please tell me and I will do it with pleasure" he smiles grabs his plate and rubs my head while passing by to the living room.

my cheeks got all red by his touch, I placed my hands over them to soothe them down the popcorn finishes and I get out of the kitchen

"oh Hyuinjin you so funny" I hear a girl exaggerating her laugh, ofc she is here, I feel a bit down and go to Yeji's room.

"everything is ready" I get to her bed and put the bowl in the middle of both of us she starts the movie and we are already melting by seeing Dong Wooks face.

something in me doesn't let me concentrate on the movie and a tinge of jealousy gets to me, it should've been me who was with Hyun-jin right now, not Ashley.

7:24pm

"May I join" Someone opens the door and looks at Yeji with pleading eyes "No go fuck yourself" She stretches and lays down in another position, so I move aside and pat the side of my bed to let Hyunjin join us "See she's nice, unlike you?" he says getting on the bed sticking his tongue out at her "no y/n why did you let him in!" she groans while saying it getting annoyed and moving to the side of the bed to give me more space, he lays on his stomach and hugs a small pillow and gets near me, his head touching my arm of how close he is to me.

Butterflies run through my stomach as I try to control my breathing so I do not blush.

15min later

"He's not that even good looking," He remarks making both of our heads look at him "Shut up you dickhead, he is the most handsome guy to ever exist" She throws a pillow at him, but he throws it back, sitting up and getting comfortable back in the sheets, now sitting like I've been doing this whole time, but our arms connect he looks down on me and smiles, I smile back and quickly look back at the movie, now I do feel my cheeks blush

"did you see how hot Lee Yeon's brother is?" yeji asked me "Yes Rang has that type of bad boy vibe right? but he is so gentle on the inside like he is so cute" I say as we comment on the series. But I feel Hyuinjins head on my shoulder hugging my arm trying to get comfortable on the bed, Yeji gives her back to me and I see her sleepy eyes trying to fight the urge to fall asleep, I pat her head gently making sure she gets some rest but I feel Hyun-jin caressing my arm with his thumb up and down. I feel his breath get more relaxed but I tense up feeling nervous about him.

I try to ignore it and continue watching the movie "Yeji look at the puppy" I pout looking at how cute he is "yeji?" I called her again but I heard no response from her "Did she fall asleep already?" he asked me

"mhm, I think she did" I try to shake her but she does not react, hating that she left me alone with her brother again.

"mmh ok, I'm going for something to eat wanna come?" I nod and get out of bed with him turning the TV and lights off for yeji to sleep as we walk out to the kitchen.

"what are you craving?" he asks me "What about some ramyeon?"

"Sure that sounds good" he started to boil the water while I took the packets out

"so... how did the project go? I asked curiously about the 2 of them

"it was... ok I guess, I kinda ended up doing it all by myself and she was very annoying btw," he said a bit disappointed.

"well I'm sorry to hear that," I said relieved to hear that it didn't go well between them, he got next to me to grab the cups of noodles, and our hands brushed each other, our eyes met and our bodies froze

He pecked my lips and stared into my eyes waiting for my reaction, my eyes widened and my mouth gaped looking at him in shock, but I didn't say anything staying in the same position.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't done that without asking you, I-I thought t-that maybe you wanted i-it"he stutters nervously looking everywhere but my eyes.

"W-why did you kiss me?" I asked in shock, his face in fear "I'm sorry y/n I couldn't stop myself I don't know what came over me, I-Ii just really like y-you and-"

"You WHAT?!"

"I like you y/n, I have since we were young" I stare at him in pure shock

"wait so wait what? so you like me? And you tell me until now?"

"what do you mean until now? I was scared you were going to reject me"

"I would never reject you Hyunjin, I've liked you since I was like 8," I said a bit angry that this didn't happen before

"YOU LIKE ME?!?!" he raises his voice in shock and joy

"yeah I do" I get a bit shy saying it out loud

he cups my cheeks and kisses me delicately his lips feeling soft, tasting him on my lips is kind of my new obsession.

when we separate ourselves in our eyes we see our future we just started.

and that is how I started to date Mr popular.

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Hi loves enjoy

please comment, like, and give support!

The tag list is open

Please check out my other works too

[junehart]

Hi 💐 I adore your poetry and I had a question. How would you suggest to improve poetry? I write and I've posted here as well but never received any proper feedback which I can use. Tips?

hello!!! this is so sweet, thank u for the support and i'm so honored u'd want my advice.

first of all, im gonna say poetry is a very individual thing, and what works for one person doesn't work for others. also, if u'd like me to critique specific works, i could probably be more thorough and i am so happy to do so, but that's obviously entitely up to u.

that being said, here's some things i've learned.

1. don't write what you think people will like, write what works in ur brain. this doesn't mean it has to be smth u have directly experienced, but more so an emphasis on having smth that matters to u more than smth u think others will care abt. i've found that my poems that have received the most love are the ones i thought "this is so niche and specific, i have no idea if anyone will relate to this or like this at all." as cheesy as it sounds, being honest in whatever way that works for u rlly is best

2. this is actually a rule i believe i heard abt comedy, but i find it rings very true of poetry as well: combine the specific w the broad. there are certain points of humanity i think are shown pretty much across the board. finding the very exact and nitty gritty feelings and thoughts and expressing that is usually what makes a great poem. to give an example, all of us are lonely sometimes. what makes writing abt it interesting could be writing smth like feeling lonely when u go to the grocery store, wishing u had someone to grab something from the top shelf for u and hold ur hand in the dairy aisle.

3. this is more personal preference, but i like the opening and closing lines to kinda form a circle. i don't know how to explain this exactly, but i like it all kinda come back to this point, not necessarily in words but more so in theme. i especially like when something's changed, and the same idea now has new nuance. a good example of this from my works would be in the world is ending. i began with the sentiment "there's nothing i can do about it" and ended with "it will be enough" both involve a lack of control, but where it began with helplessness, it ended with acceptance.

4. experiment!! try so many cool things!!! change up spacing and structures! try new words and phrases! use repitition! use long lines, use short phrases! the best way to find your specific writing niche is through trial and error.

5. similarly, in terms of gaining skill in writing poetry, quantity over quality. the best way to write a poem u love is to write a hundred u think are garbage. eventually u learn what works for u, but more than that, practice really does make perfect. or at least better. i started off writing the cringiest, most angsty and awful poems u can imagine. since u already have been writing and posting, u've already started this. but don't let urself get so frustrated u stop writing. writing is so beautiful and healing and wonderful. if u love it, keep it in ur heart forever and don't let it go.

this has already been so long so i think im gonna stop there. i hope this was helpful, i am by no means an expert and i am sure none of this is new advice. i bet ur writing is rlly cool!! and regardless, we all have smth worth saying, and im proud of u for saying it.

be warm and well fed

[milk-ducts]

You're really out here thinking u don't have a relevant internet presence?? lmao please, ur like one of the best invincible blogs i follow and ur art is just beyond stunning. i LIVE for the rare moments u post those gorgeous drawings, u capture these characters in a way no one else does and have such a way with color picking and rendering AHHHH. And don't even get me started on your character analyses, like the way u pick apart immortal and cecil just makes me see them in an entirely different way and anytime you post i know im in for a treat

you're a gem in this fandom and we're so lucky to have u, i just wish u were more active but i get it, life happens. i'm always happy whenever i see u post SOMETHING, even if it's just you reblogging other artists. point is, we love u, i love u, and u better know how much u mean to ur followers

i love u so much u funky little creature keep doing u and being the light of my dash. merry christmas, here's to another year of me thirsting after your art and yelling into the void abt how much i adore u. <333

WTF…,…. IM LITERALLY GONNA KILL MYSELF WJAT./.,… /J i seriously have such a hard time seeing any sort of value and or relevance in the things i post but msgs like this remind me there r actually ppl out there who do enjoy and look forward to my rambles n doodles,, and i am just,, so grateful……………. !!!!!

LIKE U DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME AAAAHHH THANK U THANK U THANK U.. IM ON MY KNEES. i feel so blessed to have followers like u who stick around even when i disappear for months on end.,, just know that anytime i do post, it's literally only becuz of sweethearts such as urself motivating me from the shadows <3 i appreciate every single one of u more than words can describe,, i wish yall would get more active here as well !! (INVINCIBLE TUMBLR FEED),, its such a great fandom filled w sm wonderful and talented ppl on here !!!

ALSO ANON U BETTER KNOW I LOVE U TOO U PRECIOUS ANGEL!!!!! LIKE IF I COULD REACH THRU THIS SCREEN N SMOOCH U I WOULD!!! AWAGHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGjHGGUIOIUFYG i hope the rest of ur holidays are as bright and cheerful as u made mine today. ur the best bb now if u'll excuse me imma go cry myself 2 sleep bc i can't handle this kind of stuf….. (also.. it is lat,e,, for me .. < 3 gn everyone)

[sunshine-on-marz]

hey toad! I've been reading some of ur fics and i like them very very much!!! :D ur an amazing writer, keep up the nice job! :))

So, i wanted to request something if thats okay hehe! please if you're not comfy with this ur free to delete it!!

So, you see, i have,,, let's call them battle scars, all over my arms and they make me feel kinda sad and remind me of bad times,, and i wanted to request a fluff/comfort fic w (platonic of course) philza, & benchtrio (ofc tubbo's one is platonic!) if thats ok :)

thank you so much! again, if u don't feel comfy writing about this topic, ur can delete this ask! :) -<3

TW: SELF HARM (scars)

I’ll do them separately and make Ranboo and Tommy’s romantic 🫶

Also, it will get better and I hope you feel better my love

Phil-

“Hey Dad?” You knock on this stream room door. “Come in” he says back and you walk in. “Dad, I uhm,,, my scars” you sigh at the last part and he whips around in his chair “new ones?” He basically jumps out of his chair. “No, no. I just don’t like them.” His eyes soften and he grabs your hands. “Hey now mate, do you know how fuckin proud of you I am?” You look down and he pulls you into a hug. “I know I just- they- they make me feel weak” he hugs you a bit tighter “well I think they make you look strong” the two of you stay like that for a while. No matter what happens you would always have Phil

Tubbo-

You had texted Tubbo about how you where feeling so he went over to your house. You opened the door and he pulled you into a hug “Hey y/n, I’m so proud of you, you’re the strongest person I’ve ever met” you teared up and he guided you away from the door. For a while he wiped you tears and calmed you down he helped you find an outfit that covered all your scars and took you to go get milkshakes.

Ranboo-

You and Ran hadn’t been together for long but you’d been friends for years, so they knew the face you where making meant trouble. “Hey n/n, what’s wrong?” That question was all it took to make you start crying “I just- my scars- they- I hate them- I wish they were gone” he walked up to you and wiped your tears. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry that you feel like this, but you’re gorgeous and so damn perfect.” You hugged him a bit tighter and he lifted you up, rocking you side to side in his arms until you calmed down, then he gave you a hoodie and played animal crossing with you for a while.

Tommy-

You had been scrolling tiktok when you saw an edit that zoomed in/ exaggerated your scars, with a sad and disturbing sound, then another, and at the third edit you where bawling. Tommy basically threw himself into the room when he heard it “y/n?! Hey hey, what happened?” He sat down next to you and scoped you into his arms. You showed him the edits and he turned off your phone. “I- I just- why’d I do it? They’re so stupid and make-make me look so stupid” he kissed your head and whispered in your ear “y/n, my love, you are the most amazing, smart, beautiful, funny, perfect, strong person I’ve ever met, no amount of scars will change that. My god, I can’t believe I don’t tell you that more.” You shook you head and cuddled into him more. “T-Tom no, you didn’t do anything” he shushed you gently and kissed your temple. “Hey, can I kiss your scars doll?” You where taken aback but nodded your head. Tommy spent the next few minutes kissing each and every one of your scars until your tears where replaced with the laughter he loved so much. “I love you baby” “love you to Toms”

——————

WOOOOOO I got carried away with Tom and Phil but I love them so suck my dick/pos but I’m rlly happy with how this turned out

[amethystina]

hiii! just curious of you've watched beyond evil? 🤔 (ps: i loveeee ur fics <3)

I have not, no, but it's been on my list of things to watch since I saw The Devil Judge. Though mainly because I had seen (and liked) Yeo Jin Goo in Hotel del Luna and was curious to see him in a drama with a different tone and story (i.e. I had no idea about the comparisons between The Devil Judge and Beyond Evil at the time). It was actually one of the dramas I had planned to watch right after The Devil Judge, but then got too distracted writing fanfics x'D

And, by now, I'm mostly postponing it because I don't want to collect another drama I possibly want to write for, which is the same reason why I haven't watched Word of Honor or Evilive, for example.

(For real: I took one look at Kim Young Kwang in Evilive before noping the fuck out because I have a type — a specific brand of kryptonite, if you will — and that man, in that specific drama, so perfectly encapsulates it that my flight-or-fight response kicked in. I feel like I dodged a bullet on that one)

(But I will eventually watch it — just give me some time)

Anyway! Also, from what I've gathered, the Beyond Evil peeps are doing fine without me? Like, they seem to be having a great time! No need for me to show up like the aggressive, invasive species that I am and ruin it x'D

I do want to watch it some day, though, but I admit a part of me is also kind of... hesitant? Because people have hyped it up so much? And what happens if I watch it and don't like it? Or don't find it as fascinating as everyone else seems to? x'D

(I'm pretty sure I will, but the worry is there nonetheless)

I'm one of those people who prefer to go into things blind. If I hear too much, I will build expectations (or start figuring out spoilers) without meaning to and it usually influences my experience in ways that are detrimental to the drama/show/movie in question. The less I know, the better (aside from triggers and warnings, of course).

And while I know next to nothing about Beyond Evil's plot (and would like to keep it that way so please don't spoil me!) some of the posts I've seen here on Tumblr have already influenced me negatively towards it. Which I absolutely HATE. And I'm referring to the ones that basically say that everyone should watch Beyond Evil instead of The Devil Judge because it's so much better. And while that might very well be true (especially since a lot of that is subjective), I'm still going to end up unintentionally siding with the only one of those that I actually know in more detail (i.e. The Devil Judge).

"You can't tell me what to like or not like" and all that.

Which I know is a ridiculous response and I'm trying to combat it, but I can't deny that it still affects me. To the point where I honestly wished I had watched Beyond Evil sooner since now I worry I'm going to be biased in a negative way, simply because of the discourse I've happened to glimpse online. I don't want to compare the two, but I feel defensive enough that I still might, despite my best intentions. I want to be able to judge things based on their own merit.

So can we please just stop pitting things against each other? It's tiring and ruins the experience for me.

I just want to be able to watch and enjoy cool things :C

TLDR: I haven't watched it yet but hope to at some point since it sounds like it will be good. But I'm hesitant because I already have too many projects and don't want to stumble into another fandom I want to write for right now x'D

And thank you so much! I'm glad you like my fics 💜

[beauty-and-passion]

Just wanted to say that I've been a long-time fan of yours, since before PoF, and your analyses were some of the most well-thought out, nuanced and well-researched pieces on the site (my favorites are the playlist analyses they're like my comfort ones lmao). Even tho I've drifted away from the fandom, I still check back in here every now and again to see what's going on. Whilst I love ur series, I do think it's sad you've had to give urself that closure, which is one of my biggest hang-ups with this series. This painful, slow decline where SaSi drags on and on, losing all its momentum & fans and ending with a quiet sizzle rather than a bang as it should, is the worst way to end a series that touched so many people, including me. Tbh, if Thomas is going to use his ever-patient SaSi fans to milk views and money for his other series, he owes it to them to at least finish it properly. He owes his fans a lot of things, and a S2 finale is the main one, you can't milk SaSi for views and not create an episode for 2 years, you can't have your cake and eat it too. Don't want to do it anymore? Cut it, end it, so people can finally move on. The decline of SaSi has been one of the saddest things to witness, but I'm glad you're branching out into other things (tbh kudos for making it this long) and I'll stick around anyway even if ur analyses aren't SaSi because I don't read them for the content, but for the captivating way you write :)

Oh no, compliments! My only weakness!

But seriously, it's beautiful to feel so appreciated and I thank you a lot for that. I am glad you enjoy my analyses so much and it makes me very happy to know they have a good use. If they can help someone feel better, then I will keep writing them until the end of time - no, you can't take back your words now, they will come and be stupidly long because I love to ramble about stuff I like :P

Your words about SaSi are perfectly understandable and I agree with everything you say. It's really a shame that this series is slowly declining and it probably won’t end up like a bang, as it deserved.

Sure, Thomas explained a lot of things and it's now a bit clearer why this happened. However, this doesn't take away from the fact that the organization is pitiful and the lack of communication shouldn't have happened at all, not in a competent team. There are definitely issues and I hope Thomas will work on them as soon as possible, because they can affect his future projects too.

I felt we were going in this direction and I was growing frustrated. So, I did what I do every time there is something I don't like: I try to fix it, even if just for myself. And that's what I did with FSS3. I wanted to see these threads close in a satisfying way, I wanted to see the themes I care about being developed as they deserve. I wanted to give these characters a mature development, because I deeply love them and I deeply love the concept and the possibilities of Sanders Sides.

So, I put my ideas down - with the help of all the people who contributed to the survey. And now, I feel much more satisfied. I know FSS3 isn’t canon, but it’s as close to canon as possible - and, hopefully, will keep being like that for some time too. It’s something I wanted and needed and I’m glad people appreciated it and felt it was good for them too.

And now, I will gladly branch into other stuff. I need to do a bit of a makeover on the blog and expand the “not SaSi” section, first. Then I already have three series I want to talk about and one will be very long, so it might take a lot of time. And then Eurovision will come in May and the Book of Bill will come out in June and maybe I will also talk about the books I love in the future? Or about other series I follow and enjoy? I still don’t know, but be sure I won’t run out of things to talk about. I just wish my ramblings will be worthy of your time and I will keep deserving your appreciation, no matter what I’ll talk about <3

[casceth]

hii I am a big fan of ur art 💖💖 I hope this ask isn't weird but I have wanted to post my own nsfw art for a while now!! But I can't seem to be able to do it. I'm nervous and worried that people will judge me (both for posting nsfw or also because they think my nsfw isn't good enough/weird?). ultimately i guess it is a very vulnerable process putting art on the internet for others to judge and see what kind of porn ur into 😭 do you have any tips/advice/experience you would be willing to share to overcome this hurdle? thank you sm 💖

I wish I had better advice here, I didn't post nsfw for a long time for the same reasons you mentioned. What helped me was making a second account (this one) specifically for nsfw (both my own art as well as reblogs). Having a second account can help put up some defenses against the vulnerabilities, but also sometimes I just have to take the psychic damage of a sincere horny drawing not doing well on social media (though I don't get much direct hate these days).

Another thing is if you have a horny friend/partner/mutual/discord server who you can share art with before posting it, sometimes feedback both positive and negative can feel safer in that situation. This is more recent for me but making friends who also do a variety of nsfw art (ranging from beginner to actual pros) has been the biggest motivational thing for nsfw art and even just art in general. Writers count too, sometimes other types of creatives can give interesting feedback you don't expect.

One that I don't do very well but maybe would help you is using tags, both to help people find what they're into, but also make it easy for people to avoid stuff that may trigger them, so more people who see your work would be seeing it favorably.

The last thing is just to remind you that we all start somewhere, even if you feel like you've been walking forever, you're always going to be on the first step of the rest of your journey, and the most important thing is not to give up (i guess if like a mutant dinosaur apocalypse happens all bets are off but i'd still recommend not giving up 🦖 because I am gonna fuck those mutant dinosaurs)

Anyways best of luck to you <3 Feel free to share your art with me anytime, I mean it.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

l, i was wondering if u could give me some suggestions on an issue i am facing.. its been 6 months since me n ex broke up (on winter solstice nonetheless..) for very good reasons after 3 yrs, we really were doing some damage to each other for a while , triggering each others core wounds like Crazy. i reaally was in a bad place for the whole last yr of it and now really do feel so much better being out. however we lived together for yrs and they were who i was closest to for so long, n we were each others first love once before at 16/17. i felt just anger for months, but now its residing and i just feel soooo tied to them still… i do not want to get bacj w them, but so much of my time now is spent in deep nostalgia of the happy/quiet moments, wanting the good of those times back even tho logically i know its Impossible. wishing i could go back and do it again. wanting to reach out even tho i know it would only be detrimental. i was wondering if u have any tips on balancing this miss with continuing to move on, as i know i must finally do so fully — i feel the anger was keeping me moving forward, but now that its waning i fear getting stuck in this state. i feel as tho this is why we got back together to begin w. anyhow thank u as always fer ur infinite wisdoms x dog bless

hello <3 i understand... both of us had big endings at winter solstice lol what kind of assertive force was in the air back then i wonder ! here's my advice althoug it seems to me u already know what's right for you so it's sort of just reinforcement of your feelings ---

first thing i want to get out of the way is that if you and this person were meant to be together i believe the breakup never would/ve happened & there would've never been a single doubt in your mind about this partnership. I can say this after spending a few years living with slimbo, like, We endlessly grow closer, our bond is fully forged in stability and peace and understanding. There is not a single moment in the past few years of being in their presence that i've had a single doubt of our longevity. We do not make each other's life hell in even the slightest sense. if something comes up we work it out within that day and it never carries over to the next. And that rarely occurs.

Previously in life i did not know such harmony could exist, but now that i know, i look at all my old relationships like damn, i can't believe i ever thought that person could've been "the one" when we clashing so often. And i mean it's not like i could've known better because for most of us, we grow up in families that face much conflict, you just think Oh this is normal right? People fight and thats normal, there's tension and it's normal. Well now i know it is NOT normal and when you find someone who's really ready to meet you where you're at it creates harmony, true harmony, even if external conflict arises it brings you closer, you can solve any problem together, you're on the same level.

(Also i'm not sure how old you are but i think it's super rare to find this type of harmony until a little later in life because youth is confusing & people are still figuring themselves out, gaining the maturity it takes to be a reliable partner and whatnot).

But what i feel is happening for you and this person is that you went through all these formative experiences together, and maybe you're missing the rush of that more than you miss the actual person. Like maybe you're just bored xD that's not meant to sound harsh im just being real. boredom often leads to nostalgia. a little nostalgia here and there can be fun & transmuted into new experiences but being overly absorbed in nostalgia is not conducive to growth, only stagnation. do not fall victim to halo effect just because you're bored or lonely!!

If you were to get back with this person it would 1) block the way for someone who truly matches your frequency to come through, and 2) Likely your repressed anger and resentment towards that person would begin to infiltrate the relationship again pretty quickly. It's not fair to them, nor is it fair to yourself, it would only prolong the suffering.

So i think to move forward from this experience you could try a few things. Firstly i think you're being called to really go inwards, figure out why you feel bored right now, why you feel something is lacking in your life when you have to be alone? Learn how to fill your time with more things you enjoy, becoming stronger in your self concept through introspection, hobbies, leisure, just having fun by yourself. When you can do stuff like this it actually makes you very attractive & radiant in a way that magnetizes people who are also pretty solid in themselves. U just can't really have a good healthy relationship unless both of you are solid and Know Yourselves like thats just a universal truth.

And another thing i'd consider trying is like, meditations where you envision yourself cutting the chord that energetically binds you to this person from your past. That is if you want to get a little woowoo with it. But i really believe in the effectiveness of those exercises. Don't rush into it, just like, when you feel truly ready, let it go. You can still hold your memories and honor your experience with them without wanting them to be in your physicality again. There are exes who i haven't spoken to in yeeeears who i actually can look upon much more fondly now that i've let go. i forgive them and wish them well but it's nice to be distant.

don't be afraid of change~~~don't be afraid that a better match will never come along for you. I didn't foresee anything about the romance i have now before it happened. I knew i wanted to find a love that felt balanced and fulfilling but not All-Consuming. by a total random sequence of events, my vibe was met. You just never know whats around the corner ^^ The more open you are to change, the more change will find you. But you know going back to that person would just be a needless repeat of an old cycle. it's ok to still cherish them and keep moving forward. it's good you're able to feel less angry towards them now, that shows growth & maturity. But dont let it drag you back in !!

i hope this resonates and doesn't sound too preachy lol . Just hate to see someone fall back into Old HABITS. For your sake and the sake of your old partner. letting go is a crucial skill to learn in this life. Best of luck to you anon, you sound like a good person who wants to do their best & that will carry you far in life & love.

Sincerely

PMD9 <3

[rollercoasterwords]

oh!!!! happy 100k words wfrau!!!!!!! she's getting bigger (<- like you would speak of a puppy). how long is it supposed to be & how far along are you? and also... would you like to share a snippet you like (from any chapter ofc... no pressure if no it's completely understandable)? what do you enjoy the most about writing it? bc it seems like you're having fun & it's so nice to see someone enjoying a hobby so openly online... especially writing... there's this conception that writers don't actually enjoy writing (the whole 'forcing myself to write' bit) and i'm curious to hear your perspective on it!! also!!!!!! i hope moving will be easy & fun & the world will be kind to you with the change <3 i keep telling myself 2 read marx but i can't find any good translations to my native language and reading it in english is making my brain go grgrgrgrgr like an air conditioner on its last leg so alas it might have to wait... so true for liking iced drinks they're really the best!! i've heard someone say it's childish but i think they just live a very miserable hot life in the august heat drinking their hot coffee instead of putting some ice cubes in it :) it's funny you say that about fav line because it's definitely my fav fic of your writing & the ending of it is soooo beautiful i get back to it every time i need to feel something!!!!! that song line is beautiful too omg... and well the weather is hell everywhere at least the world is all suffering together :( i hope the atmosphere isn't suffering too much :/ honestly i am a big 'i would rather be hot than cold' believer because i am from a hot country so i know how to deal with the heat but you know what i'm sure the chill can also be intriguing to some... not me though... i hope the winter will be kind on you <3 thank u for letting me invade ur ask box i am creating myself a room here for now i think. anyway. love and hugs!!!! <333

hello!! she is indeed getting bigger <3 if i had to guess right now i'd say i'm maybe...possibly nearing the halfway point of the fic, plotwise? but honestly it's really hard to say lol. i've got 2 more story arcs to cover in part 3 (plus finishing the current one), and then part 4 is gonna have like...2 or 3 story arcs as well, plus an epilogue. so it just depends on how long it takes me to cover all that ground!

and yeah i'm having a lot of fun writing!! i know what u mean abt the whole "ugh writing amirite" bit that writers do lol and i'm sure i do it sometimes too...i mean i think tone varies a lot and many people who complain about writing still really enjoy the activity, but i do think there is sometimes this self-flagellating tendency amongst some writers to act like writing is meant to be this strenuous, emotionally draining activity like ur...idk sisyphus w the stone or something, and if you're writing something 'easy' or 'fun' you're somehow a lower caliber of writer than those who Nobly Suffer for their art, etc...which i think is dumb lol. suffering doesn't inherently make art any better or more noble

& thank u 4 the well-wishes w moving!! i'm mostly nervous about getting to my flight on time lol i have to go into work the literal day before i leave and then catch a train across the country at 5am the next morning 2 get 2 the airport...not going 2 be fun so i'll take all the well-wishes i can get !!

sorry 2 hear u can't find marx in ur native language :( it's hard enough 4 me 2 understand reading in my first language i cannot imagine trying 2 parse it in a second language...maybe it might be easier 2 find one of his (or engels') shorter texts 2 read? capital is a monster but i started off with a few shorter pieces ('socialism: utopian and scientific', 'principles of communism', 'wage labour and capital,' 'value price and profit') which i found helpful! also there are lots of secondary resources of other people breaking down + explaining marx's work; maybe there's a good source in your native language that could give a summary/overview of capital? there's no one right way 2 learn, it's just abt finding what works best for u!!

iced drink supremacy 4ever truly <3 me myself & i we can only enjoy a hot beverage if it's very cold outside...otherwise i am simply thinking well why would i do that 2 myself... & thank u!! happy 2 hear u like the lines!! v happy w them v proud <3 & also appreciate the well-wishes re: weather i cannot relate 2 the hot-weather preference i much prefer cold...or at least i used to i grew up in a relatively cold climate but then i moved south 4 university so at this point i'm going on 6 years of living in what is categorized as a "humid subtropical climate" & i think my winter tolerance has been all but destroyed it hardly ever drops below freezing...but hot&humid weather is still my least favorite i think i would prefer icy-cold winter + mild summer but i will be actually putting that theory 2 the test this year so!! who knows maybe my hubris will be my downfall...

& of course!! u are welcome 2 stop by + chat anytime...in my heart we are drinking iced beverages 2gether <3 also as requested here is a snippet from ch 14:

“Don’t,” he tells her, firmly, “Don’t say that. I don’t—want you involved. If they ever did anything to hurt you…I wouldn’t be able to live with myself.” She stares at him, eyes ablaze. “And how do you think I feel? Knowing that they only pick on you because—” her voice falters, cracking, “Because you’re with me?” Her lip is trembling again, tears threatening to spill over from her eyes. Sirius shakes his head, helplessly, at a loss for what to do.

[mossmotif]

moss!! i am dropping by with some good music and new year wishes! 🎶🎉 thank you so much for being part of my 2023 🥹 i love your writing and am always so amazed by the aus and ideas you come up with!!! you are so incredibly creative and talented!!!

as a year end pick, my favourite read from you is quite literally maybe everything you write... i always see your little blurbs and drabbles and think wow. this is so well written. what a lovely take. i love this.

if i may ask!! 🥺 (pls feel free not to answer if uncomfy!!) how was 2023 for you? what’s a favourite thing (anything) you discovered this year? do you have any reflections from the past year? any resolutions for the next? 🥹

AHH SEL<33 thank u so much for being part of my 2023 as well!! u have no idea how much i appreciate it, you're so very kind and wonderful and it really brighten my day being able to look at your blog and reading all your writing.

thank u so much for reading my work :')) you're such a talented writer and hearing that from you makes me jump around fr,,,,SHAKING YOU RIGHT NOW

and 2023 for me was honestly such a mixed bag! i moved away from a lot of good irl friend (literally people ive considered best friends for years) but then i met some of the greatest people!! i discovered a lot of new music as well WHICH IVE BEEN LOVING I LOVE GOOD SOUNDS!

i was super glad for last year, adjusting to things have never been too easy but now im forced to and its uncomfortable sometimes but its making me such a better person!

this is going to sound so corny but im also so super glad for all the new mutuals i made this year, evry1 is so sweet and i love this community with my whole heart i really do!! im so glad to be a part of it. a resolution of mine is def to branch out in my communication more since i tend to sort of fade away at times :)

sel i hoe this year goes so well for you!! u deserve every good thing coming for you and i hope u grow and flourish and accomplish so many things<3 every time i visit your blog it feels like the sun and i truly appreciate ur presence here and how u share your words <3333

[bbael]

Hi my love, how are you doing?

I know it's been months but life is so chaotic despite taking medication

I've got little updates of my life.

Luna sadly passed away a few months ago at the start of the year, and since then it's been hard to live each passing day without her.

Namun is now 3 years old, and we bought a (dog) cake for him. We couldn't take any pictures but he was SO happy to have a cake for himself.

My dad found a little dog left alone to die near the campo and now she's part of our family.

Her names is Pietra, but we call her Pipino / Pipina /Pipín. We think that Luna sent her so we wouldn't miss her too much.

She loves being held like a baby (also hair and back reveal)

Hellooo my love<333 i've been missing you :(❤ so sorry to hear you've been having a rough time despite the treatment. I get it though, sometimes life just. really be like that. I'm here for you if you ever need someone to talk, even if just to take your mind out of things happening.

& I've been doing well ! At least better than I was a couple months ago which is great & i try to stay positive ;_;!!

I'm so sorry about Luna's passing, she was such a lovely girl and I know you adored her!! Actually sent you a message when I read about her some time ago but it seems it didn't reach you? and now I'm so sorry I didn't send you a dm instead -_-.

I know how hard it is to lose your long time pet, do know im still sending you all my love and support no matter how long has passed❤ little Luna will be remembered so lovingly.

But also..i'm so happy to finally get some Namun news oh my goddd <333 sorry to be like this but he is my fave of your little pack hahdhfk. Bet he's still just a puppy. Also overjoyed to know he got his own safe to eat cake.....that is so cute :(( i hope he also got a silly bday hat too? No??

& so glad you guys just keep adopting strays and giving them a dign, healthy and happy life!! Pipin looks so cute like a little parrot perched upon your shoulder and I also love her little vest hehe (and your hair omfg!!!ze....).

Please give ALL of your babies many forehead kisses, pets and ear scratches from Me. Know if I was around I would be obssessing over them 24/7!

Since u sent me dog updates I guess I'd also share mine? Kind of?

My bestie adopted the TINIEST puppy from an abandoned batch(?) on god knows where and even though she isn't mine, I get to spend a lot of time with her and it brightens my days a lot. Her name is Pócima and she's barely over one month old or something but already knows how to play fetch and roll around on command hehe. She's just a baby but so smart😭🖤

Wish I could post pics but id feel bad since its not *my* pet sjfjfk but shes black and still fits on the palm of my hand.

Anywho... Thank you so much for dropping by Ze🖤🖤i really miss u tons...

Once again..sending all my kissies and cuddles to ur gang (and you too, if thats your thing 😳) & am hoping things get easier over there! One day at a time luv❤ love you lots!!

[dragonheadskilax]

hey just dropping in by to tell you that i am SO delighted by your leech posting on here !!! i love ur little fella they're awesome and i wish i can get one too someday. u take such good care of em too GOD. ok thats all u both have a wonderful day now!!! <3 much love

Aw thank you! ^u^ Leeches have become my absolute favorite animal, always so fascinating no matter the type. I have an insta that’s solely bug posting, and I follow other leech accounts on there as well.

Leeches are so precious, after all the years of keeping I definitely learned a lot through loss and experience. I’m at that point where I keep plastic objects in the tank to a minimum, don’t put aquarium decorations that have a low quality sealant, sand down any points on wood, no rocks with sharp edges but rough texture is fine for skin shedding, and on feeding days I leave the leech in a carrier to rest for a day just in case they poobie or throw up any food (they may do it immediately after feeling new water in a water change or when putting back into the tank lol).

That’s all seems like I pamper a worm way too much but I just wanna keep things safe and tidy. They grow up big and live for many years so better to provide most comforts and enrichment. All they wanna do is eat or sleep and wiggle.

I hope you can get to experience first hand the loveliness of leeches! I know at least one source that offers ribbon leeches, these are scavengers so they don’t feed on blood though live just short of a few years, I think they also pass after mating. I sometimes I peek into the leech subeddit and there has recently been some verbanas in need of a new home located in Houston TX. But yeah thank you for the message! It’s always nice to know that people really like all my postings. I post as often as I see activity going on in the tank.