#ALSO UH HOLY FUCK REALISATION

[jorvikzelda]

I, a person who by now has written quite An Amount of fic set in Hollow Woods, was kinda sorta pretty concerned that this update would unravel every single little idea I had of it in my head.

Now I’m not going to pretend like I have the genius of whoever designed this thing (I am kissing you on the mouth btw) and knew the location of every little brook and lake or that there would be waterfalls and blood red leaves and a stone altar. But when I turned the time of day to night and I looked up to the tree crowns and down at the grass and the moss, it struck me very suddenly and with a lot of force that they’re just the same green that I’ve been seeing in my head all this time. And I just. Man it felt like coming right home. I feel like I’ve spent so much time looking up at those very trees already through the eyes of my MC. It’s the little things <3

[monty-glasses-roxy]

I've been thinking, what if after Ruin, Roxy is able to contact Cassie's dad to come get her from the old pizzeria somehow? Like they deal with Mimic and then they call her dad before heading back up to meet him?

Cassie immediately flinching as she realises she's accidentally said the same shit "Gregory" did. Bonus points if Cassie's dad was a surviving member of the initial group of construction workers that went down there and got killed. He just pauses mid-sentence and squints as the cogs turn in his head, around the same time both Cassie and Roxy realise what they're doing.

They both scramble to clarify they're not Mimic actually, this is one hundred percent real, they really are under the Raceway, they swear while he goes silent, not knowing what he should do here. Should he... call someone? Does this mean Mimic is out? That the security is down? Are they actually down there? Is he suppoosed to just... go there and find out if it's a killer robot or his daughter and a nice robot?

Like really, what is he meant to do here lmao the Minis with Roxy and Cassie just have their heads in their hands over this. They didn't think of it either, but also come on guys you should have realised

[hobisexually]

x

[earthstellar]

Just jolted awake at 5 AM to share this idea lmao:

Cosmic Storm: Accidental Alt-Mode Swap Scenario

Some kind of cosmic electrical storm hits the Lost Light and everyone switches alt-modes

They can't figure out how this is even possible, best they can figure is that one of the waves of cosmic electricity rolled over the ship and bypassed their shields enough to affect the crew, just this huge arc of space electricity scrambling everyone all at once

And as it arcs from crew member to crew member (and zaps the shit out of the ship too), somehow this messes with everyone's systems enough that their t-cogs all attempt to reboot while everyone is still connected by the cosmic storm energy

Which results in everyone's t-cogs getting alt-mode data confused, as everyone simultaneously tries to stabilise their systems by purging stored energy so they don't get fried, so because they're all connected by this singular pulse of space bullshit it's like one massive accidental transfer of spark energy, personal systems data, and cosmic electroshock

It's 5 AM sorry if I'm not explaining this very well LOL

But nobody dies, and their systems actually seem to be relatively OK afterwards as far as they can tell, so nobody actually realises there's a problem until First Aid and/or Ratchet asks everyone to book in follow up appointments for full systems checks just to be sure

And as part of checking t-cog function whoever the first patient of the day is gets asked to transform briefly as part of a physical exam designed to help spot any non-critical t-cog damage

And there's no t-cog damage, not to the t-cog itself. Scans come back okay, everything looks good, so OK, time to proceed with the transformation test. Root mode to alt-mode, and then back to root mode.

If the t-cog and associated systems are functional, it should be pretty straightforward.

And the bot does successfully transform...

..Just, into the wrong alt-mode.

And immediately, The Problem Of The Day becomes clear.

Gradually people around the ship figure it out on their own as well, while the Med Bay staff are trying to figure out what the fuck is going on

Over in the Science Lab, Perceptor is messaging Ratchet frantically because he's realised the problem as soon as he tried to switch into his alt-mode to study some samples of a metal panel from the ship which has some damage from the cosmic electricity and uh oh turns out he's a fucking helicopter now

It's a problem that also alters their root modes, but only after their first transformation post-space storm. Something fully triggers whatever is wrong with their t-cog data only once they enter alt-mode, their root modes then re-configure to accommodate these changes following that initial "wrong" transformation sequence.

They have their own colours, their paint nanites etc. remain the same as always, but their modes have changed. So they get any kibble etc. that might come with that new alt-mode.

So Brainstorm goes to pick up some energon for both of them, then comes back and Perceptor suddenly has rotors and holy shit

Eventually everyone on board figures out something weird/potentially bad is happening with their t-cogs. Some people are too scared to test it and find out, while others immediately can't resist their curiosity or think it's better to figure out as soon as possible so they can adapt, and test it as soon as they hear some bots are just turning into completely different things, totally reconfigured.

This could be fun, also sort of terrifying (there is potential for body horror to some degree), and either way it's chaos.

When Drift triggers his alt-mode, he turns into a cat-- Seems like he's got Ravage's t-cog data. Nobody can find Ravage, and Megatron makes it clear that he'll be the only one to attempt to find him.

Rodimus turns into some kind of aqueous vehicle. Maybe Camien in origin. (Turns out it's Nautica's t-cog data.) He's fine with it as soon as he realises he's space flight capable for short distances and Magnus has to talk him out of trying to race the ship.

Of course, because it's Nautica's t-cog data, when he reverts back to root mode, he has a distinctly femme Camien-style frame. He loves it, because his armour isn't as heavy in this form, so he can go faster. (Once this is all over, he is strongly considering keeping some of these femme frame alterations...)

And if you want to use this as a setup for any shipping, yes indeed, some bots inevitably try to test out their newly altered frames with their partners or amicas. (The medical staff all advise against this because oh god nobody knows all the functions of their new systems yet, please do not end up in the Med Bay with "makeout related injuries" they are dealing with so much right now LOL)

Anyway my moving date is 25/01 but as soon as I'm settled into my new place I might turn this into a fic if I have time lmao

[neonovember]

Golden Boy

part two to this request

warnings: suggestive content, miscommunication, angst if you are a tortured poet, highschool love, protective!carmen, touch depirved!carmen, mention of death

w/c: 2.8k

a/n: okay, okay, yes i know i said this would be a two part series, but god i have too much to say and it didn’t feel right to cram it into two parts. Also i wanted to add a little smut snippet and of course that required its own chapter??

The ring of the Beef doors resound through the murmur of the kitchen, the lunch time rush had dissolved to a quiet pull, regulars coming in for their pick up orders and the occasional customer seated in one of the back booths.

The soothing quiet the crew had been relishing just moments ago is interrupted by the familiar boom of Richie’s voice and the loud bang of the cartons of produce he’d left on the counter.

“Guess who the fuck I ran into down at the Market” Richie yells, beaming with the kind of smile you’d only have with the worlds biggest secret on your tongue.

The crew gathers at the kitchen station, hands rubbing tired eyes as the work day slugged on.

“What, Richie?” Sydney humours him, throwing the last of the chopped vegetables into a pot to slow cook, wiping her hand on her shoulder towel as she looks up at Richie.

“Our very own Bug” Richie replies, eyes glinting as they watch the white linen shirt of Carmen’s back stop suddenly. 

Carmen pauses, the sound of his knife falling with a clank. It takes a moment for him to turn around and face Richie, partly because he doesn’t want to meet the goofy pull of his features that told him he was playing around and partly because he doesn't want to face that what Richie said might be true. 

But he faces him anyway, because he always will for you.

“What? You saw a bug? Really Richie, you had to come all this way--” Sydney groans out, pressing a finger between her eyebrows, smoothing out the skin that has begun to wrinkle there.

“Shit, sorry, I forgot you guys don’t know her”

“Her? You got a little lady you've been keeping from us Richie?” Tina replies playfully, swatting a towel towards Richie who barely dodges it.

Carmen coughs abruptly at Tina’s comment, in which Richie bites back a grin, before raising an arm up in surrender.

“She’s an old friend of the family, Carmen and her used to be real close in High school. Come to think of it, she was your only friend actually, and was way out of your league” Richie says with a condescending tone, there is a look of thoughtfulness on Richie's face like he's actually thinking about Carmen’s high school experiencing and remembering the clear lack of friends he's had beside you.

The sound of cat calls and oooh’s resounds throughout the kitchen, the crew coddling this small but rare piece of information about Carmen’s past. Carmen wasn’t exactly conversational, whilst he regarded the crew as his flesh and blood that didn’t stop him from keeping a lot of himself and his past hidden. There was always the air of mystery that followed Carmen Berzatto, and it seemed the persona was about to deteriorate as a look of anger flashes across Carmen's face.

“Oh fuck you Cousin, She never even liked you” Carmen replies defensively, before the realisation that you were in town hits him full force.

“How did we not know this, I mean no offence Carm, but you didn’t seem like the type to be..open to friends” Sydney voices, the look of shock not hidden from her voice

“It was different with her, right? I didn't have to- she was- it was just different” Carmen mumbles, the visions of you seem to take over Carmen's mind, like visors, all he can see now is you. The curve of your neck, the smell of Lavender and shea butter from your mothers garden and your lotion. Carmen can almost taste it again, and its reminder has him craving you in a way that was all too dangerous for a man like him.

Especially since you were back in town, maybe not even a block away from him, holy fuck, you were back in town.

“Wait, uh, she’s in town?” Carmen replies, sheepishly, scratching his neck in nervousness that didn't go unnoticed by the crew. 

Carmen? Nervous? About a girl? Oh this was good.

“She came down for work, designing a whole piece of Madison Avenue. Think she’s staying for a little while” Richie replies “You should ask her when she comes tomorrow, you guys still talk..right?’ 

“Yeah uh, ‘course” Carmen mumbles, a feeling of grief washes over him like a wave, and without blinking, without a shudder of a breath you consume him again.

*

The New York winter was brutal, nothing like the December’s in Chicago, and the thought causes a grumble of cold air to leave Carmen’s mouth. Carmen couldn't help comparing everything in New York to the city he ran from, it was a habit akin to a shadow he couldn’t shake off.

Swarms of yellow cabbed taxis and car’s move through the city streets painfully slow, splashing waves of dirty street snow onto the frosted sidewalk. The rush of strangers wrapped in a decade of layers, the protective wool and fleece wrapping their hands and necks, make their way back to their apartment and homes, eager to feel the warmth of fireplaces and heaters and escape the ice cold snap of the unforgiving winds and falling snow. 

Carmen should be making his way home, in fact if he hadn’t stopped abruptly at the scene in front of the open pane window of a shop, he'd had felt the warmth of his century old apartment heater  by now. Walking back would be the right thing to do, it would be the sensible thing, but Carmen wasn’t known for his sensibility and recklessness was all he knew. Especially when it comes to you, always when it comes to you. 

So Carmen has found himself, stood stationary, looking rather strange in the middle of the street as city goers grumble and step around him, looking into the dimly lit art studio cramped between a Chinese takeout shop and a fabric store.

There you were, crouched in a chair, scribbling on a canvas across a wide workbench, papers and pens scattered messily in front of you. You haven't changed one bit, and maybe it had felt like centuries ago for Carmen when in fact it had only been a couple years but it was as if someone had taken a picture of his memories of you and placed it in front of him. 

You were so beautiful, it stole Carmen's breath away, it skipped the rhythmic beat of his heart and caused it to hammer against his chest in that nervous way you’ve always made him feel. Even surrounded by papers and stained coffee mugs and the drag of stress and sleep deprivation weighing on your sunken shoulders you are the most beautiful thing Carmen has ever, and will ever see. 

Were you real? Carmen’s feet are stone, like if he steps through the doors, if he moves even an inch you'll slip between his fingers and disappear from his vision again. He has to see you, he has to apologise and tell you everything that has happened, he has to feel your head resting against his shoulder, he needs to fall back into the gentle rhythm you both shared before it was lost to time again.

But before Carmen can move from his spot on the sidewalk, before he can even catch your gaze, he watches, in horror, as a tall haired man walks over, dressed in a brown knitted sweater and slacks that looked simple in the expensive way, and wraps his arms around you before behind.

His heart shatters completely, and he can't stop himself from watching on, you throw your head back with a laugh, hugging him back with a grin as he whispers into the nook of your neck and it's the twist of the knife in his stomach, tearing the entirety of its contents onto the sidewalk, staining the frosted pavement crimson with his innards. 

And it was like Carmen was 15 again. Seeing one of his classmates ask you to prom before he could even utter those words, watching the way you danced effortlessly in his hands beneath the gleam of the disco ball above. Your date had two left feet, and Carmen wanted to rip him off of you and replace his skittish dance moves. Carmen wanted to give you what you deserved instead of a football jock who couldn’t make you laugh.

That same childlike feeling of anger and jealousy spreads through him, that was sood replaced with anguish. He had lost you, he had waited too goddamn long and had lost you. What the fuck was he doing? How did he think he could just walk through those doors and stumble into your life again, and somehow fall back into the same familiarity of your friendship like nothing had changed? 

Carmen had done stupid things before, but Carmen had felt utterly foolish then. You were mystifying, of course you would be in a relationship, there were probably hundreds of men that threw themselves at you, and it wasn't like you were waiting for him.

The memory of saying goodbye to you was still fresh, he could remember the time when you turned your back to him, and the same way the sun shone through the hallways windows when you turned your neck to meet his gaze for the final time. 

He could remember what he had for breakfast, cereal with not enough milk and an apple, he could remember how he had two different pairs of socks on, one itching him throughout the day, he could remember the feeling of the ingrained drawings of your Geography teacher’s sketchbook, he could remember the way you looked at him when he told you to promise him not to say goodbye. 

He remembered it all like it was the day he died.

That day had been marked into his body and mind, into his subconscious until it was all that consumed him. Wherever he was, he looked for you, he searched and yearned for you in crowds and lines for coffee, in the driver's seat of cars next to him stood stationary at the traffic lights. 

Everytime he closed his eyes all he could see was the way you looked at him like you didn't believe him and it broke something, because it had been true. Carmen had promised to see you again, and he lied, and that late New York evening, it was like Carmen had died a second time.

And just like at 17, Carmen makes peace with watching you on the sidelines, bottling up any feelings he had for you in fear it would ruin everything you both shared. You were his greatest friend, and he couldn't allow himself to be selfish, not when you were you, and he was him. He didn't deserve you, and it didn't matter how hard he yearned for you because you were too good for him.

And it’s that thought that causes him to step away from his spot on the sidewalk, the imprint of his boots marking a spot on the concrete where the fallen snow hadn't touched yet, before it’s soon covered in the white flesh of frost, hiding that he was ever there.

From that moment on, Carmen watches you from afar, the unyielding desire to ensure you were safe at all times consuming him until his protective gaze fell over you like a blanket. He had kept up with your moves, silently cheering you on with each award and recognition you received throughout the years, whilst he himself began to climb the culinary ladder, or knife. He had never let his eyes waver, and then Mickey died and he came running back to Chicago with his things and a broken heart.

“Yeah, you all will meet her tomorrow at the dinner” Richies words cause Carmen to shake himself from his vision, what did he just say?

“You, You did what?” Carmen questions, unable to keep the shrill from his voice as the crew look towards him in confusion.

“Yeah I invited her, it’ll be like a catch up for the fam, she could see all the work I’ve done and see how you haven't changed-”

“Fuck Cousin, you- you should’ve told me before, now i got to make sure everyone has something to eat, and- and i got to add a a second chair” Carmen begins to mumble out, running a hand through his curls stressfully as he began to pace around the kitchen.

“Hey, Carmen relax, we've got room for one more person” Richie chuckles

“Wow, Jeff, just the sound of this girl’s name has got you shitting bricks. I think someones in loveeee” Tina singsongs with a grin, but there was something soft behind her eyes, in fact everyone in the kitchen smiled with a hint of happiness at Carmen's behaviour.

They had thought their Chef was closed off to love, and having felt its strength, each of them in their own ways tried to get Carmen out there, whether it be blind dates or meet cute’s, but it never worked out, and Carmen had always kept that part of life secret from even Richie and Sugar.

It seemed now, that you had been the mysterious woman that had stolen Carmen's heart, and they were giddy with excitement to finally meet the person who had gotten Carmen Berzatto scared shit less.

“Hey Cousin, why don’t you help me unload the rest of the cartons from the truck?” Richie replies, a subtle way of getting Carmen out of the kitchen and into a space that had fewer faces watching his every move.

“Yeah, uh okay” Carmen replies, following Richie to the back of the Bear, resting his back against the brick wall of the alleyway.

There is a silence that stretches between Richie and Carmen at that moment that Richie would usually fill with slanted jokes or rambles. But even Richie knew you were a sensitive topic for Carmen, and he waited patiently for him to approach the topic on both of your minds.

“So, we haven’t spoken in nearly 8 years and she's coming tomorrow to my restaurant” Carmen replies, and Richie nods along.

Carmen shakes his head scoffing, looking up at Richie with a look of fear and embarrassment and elated happiness all in one.

“I don’t know what i’m gonna do Cousin, I- I don’t know what to do with myself with her, fuck what if ruin everything?” 

“Hey, hey easy, I was poking fun at you before but you and her, that was something else entirely that the rest of the Family would never come close to understanding. When you were together, it was like, it was like I could see the anxiety and stress physically leave you, you fucking laughed with her Carm, when you weren’t in the mood to even smile, even after everything you’d see her and it was like nothing else mattered, like no one else mattered.

I mean, the whole family was betting on you both running off and getting eloped, you were both in your own bubble, and did not give a shit about anybody else.” Richie chuckles, resting a hand on Carm’s shoulder to stop him from pacing.

Carmen looks up at him with furrowed eyebrows, pressing his canines into his lips

“What if she doesn't want to speak to me?, Ya know, what if she came for- for you and Sugar and-and she doesn't even want to see me” Carmen rambles, fear taking over any sense

“Are you kidding Carmen? You both hadn’t spoken in nearly a decade and she still said yes to coming to the fucking Beef of all places on a Friday. She wants to see you, Carm, you've just been too stupid to see it, you've always been.” Richie replies, shaking Carmen like he was trying to shake the sense into him.

“You know what you have to do now, right?” Richie says, when you've both rested on one of the stools, lighting a cigarette for warmth against the bite of the cold.

“I’ve got to make tomorrow fucking perfect, thats what I’ve got to do. Which is almost impossible for this goddamn place” Carmen groans out, taking a drag from the wrapped tobacco stick.

Richie lets out a laugh, rubbing his stomach as he leans against the brick layered wall.

“Don’t know about that, they just might for her” Richie replies, before getting off of the stool, dusting his jeans and walking towards the pick up truck.

“Where are you going?” Carmen calls out

“You thought I was kidding about these boxes? Chop chop cousin, we gotta get them in before it fucking rains” Richie yells back, letting out a laugh at Carmens loud groan.

[levi-my-beloved]

The Ackerbond Chapter 6: The Ackerbond Divides

Pairing: Canon!Levi x F!Reader

Warnings: SMUT, honestly might just leave that as is but uh yeah SMUT, couples fighting™️, honestly I wrote so much of this so long ago I don't remember but like violence and stuff I'm pretty sure,

A/N: i have nothing but apologies to offer and maybe some updates like I graduated... yaaaaaaay....... that and I've been obsessed with a promiscuous pansexual vampire twink since august iykyk

oh also also, sorry for the millions of mistakes that this is likely riddled with <3

Taglist: @levmada @awesomeness1679 @purplecandygerl @iam-thevillain-of-thisstory @pluvio-pluto @midnightbarnes97 @aresclouds @imkumichan @xxpadfootxx @cmjh3 @justa19 @notgoodforlife @leviackermanmyhero245 @kaea-peverall @jakillski @macaronnv @natalie-skz @oldtownwonderland @snailsposts @lunardeiity @clusiesuzie @hi-imkaiya @isabellawigginss @ackermandick @orionsalos @disaster-writer @temariskadi @nariko1989 @elizaack @dixie-chick @death-by-bullseye @leviackermanst @poisonpeche @arcticcashew @feelingsandemotionsnotexplored @littleagxs @wall-maria-fritz

Annie Leonhart. That was her name. One of the 104th cadets who chose the Military Police. That was the girl who ripped your family away from you. Just one girl. Fuck’s sake. You’d barely had time to recover after losing your family. But whilst the devil works hard, Erwin Smith works harder, already having an idea as to who the Titan was, and also a plan as to how to capture her.

And it had almost worked without consequence. Almost. But Annie was smarter than you all realised, and transformed before Armin could convince her underground. You’d been ordered to stay out of combat, by both Erwin and Levi. But so many were dying… so many were getting between the Scouts and their target that you didn’t have a choice. You didn’t do much, just scoop civilians out of the way, as many as you could. Though your body now screamed at you for it. 

Worth it. 

You stood before your enemy’s crystal. How could she look so peaceful after what she did? After the thousands she murdered. How could she look so damn content? You grit your teeth, molars grinding against molars. So much had happened as a result of the conflict.

Like a fucking Titan in the wall. You’d all seen it before Pastor Nick came running up. What the hell that sleazy holy man had been keeping from you, you were sure Hange could get it out of him. They were good at that sort of thing. 

Light footsteps echoed in the cellar. Not that you needed footsteps to tell when he was nearing you. You knew from the feeling alone. There was a tangible moment of silence before either of you spoke.

“I know.”

Levi quirked a brow, stepping up beside you. Unlike you, he wasn’t in uniform. The damage to his leg was worse than any of you realised, and he’d too been ordered to recover. “I didn’t even say anything.” 

A gentle scoff flew from your lips, your eyes sliding from Annie to Levi. “You didn’t need to. I could tell by your vibes.” 

It was Levi’s turn to laugh slightly, his arm wrapping around your side, keeping you near him. He knew what you were thinking. Could hear your thoughts from the other side of the damn city. You had yet to test the range of the bond, but it was nice to know it was further than just the barracks or however far away you were on the 57th. Staying silent, he waited for you to continue. 

“She took everything, and she just gets to sleep. How is that fair…?” You asked quietly, fighting tooth and nail to keep your brewing tears from sliding down your face. “And we’re left with more questions than answers even after capturing the bitch. We got nothing out of this. And Eld, he…” you trailed off, not quite able to voice the fact that his death was fruitless. All of theirs were. Petra, Gunther, Oluo… they all died for nothing. 

“No. He didn’t,” Levi tilted your head to face him with a finger beneath your chin, “we give their deaths meaning. You know that’s why we fight.” It was a conversation you’d had many times before, and even before you two were together. When caught up in the seemingly endless parade of grief, he would pull you out and give you something to fight for. 

“Yeah. I know…” was all you could say, looking back to the blonde. But Levi wasn’t having any of it, once again turning your head back to face him. You rolled your eyes, but couldn’t stop a smile from pulling at your lips. Always so persistent. “I’ll try to stop thinking about it, okay?” You bargained, earning yourself a sweet kiss on your forehead.

“Good. I’ll know if you don’t.” 

“How much time do you spend in my head?”

“Pretty much all of it.”

You couldn’t even be mad. You knew his own was just as haunted as yours. Maybe you would find equal solace in his mind as he did in yours. It was worth a shot. Not now, not yet, but sometime. 

Having not even noticed he’d led you away and back up the stairs, you were snapped out of your dark reverie by Hange approaching and looking uncharacteristically grim. 

“No luck?” you asked before they’d even spoken. Shaking their head, Hange sighed heavily. They looked more exhausted than you’d ever seen them, even after all-nighter Titan experiments they didn’t look this rough. 

“Not a damn thing. We’ve sent various messengers to outposts within Wall Rose territory. ” You hoped that meant Nanaba would be prepared. You hadn’t even had the chance to say goodbye before she rode off with the 104th. You guessed it made sense to keep them all separated just in case but you couldn’t help but curse the circumstances.

Fuck this week. 

It had been mere hours since the messenger came through, screaming about how Titans had somehow breached another fucking wall, and you could all only assume the Colossal or Armoured would have been the ones to do it. This was too much of a coincidence. You capture the Female, and all of a sudden there’s another breach? They had to be related. 

“Did Annie have any close friends within the 104th? Like, people she would often hang out with…?” you asked slowly, only now making the connection. And it seemed Hange was on the same wavelength. 

“I’ve already asked for a background check on her, should be with me within the next few days.” 

“Oh yeah, Erwin’s theory. If the Colossal and Armoured Titans are shifters too, it makes sense they would also be in the 104th.” Levi murmured, watching the exchange between you and Hange with something you knew was slight awe. Your brain had always been fast, but watching it paired with Hange’s was a spectacle to witness. It had him wondering just how many people you could silently communicate with.

–Just you. Don’t get jealous again.–

–The fact you can have a conversation out loud and also have one in your head simultaneously is fucking terrifying.–

He heard your snort in his mind, still watching you talk with Hange.

–It’s a gift.–

“So what can we do?” You asked Hange, trying not to send a smirk Levi’s way. It didn’t matter, he could feel your amusement anyway.

“We’re heading to Ehrmich District, Pastor Nick’s coming too and we’re taking Eren, Armin, and Mikasa with us.” They explained. You hadn’t really interacted with Armin or Mikasa all that much, but you knew the girl was an Ackerman. It could be a good opportunity to see if she had any insight into your situation with Levi, or if she feels something similar toward Eren. It was obvious enough she’d completely fallen in love with the boy, and since she shared a last name with Levi, maybe there was something there too?

Honestly, you were speculating.

–Don’t expect much from her. She wants me dead.–

–You beat the shit out of the man she loves, you’d be the same if someone kicked my tooth out.–

–...Understandable.–

“And you want us to come with you? Why?” you asked, once again refraining from looking at the man to your left. Which, you’d recently discovered, was almost impossible.

“Babysitting duty!” they informed you, way too cheerily. “I’ll be taking a group to look for the breach and since you're both off active duty for now, I thought it could be a cute couple’s activity to keep an eye on our Pastor.” 

You have never wanted to die more in your life than in this very moment. Were they fucking serious? Babysitting?

“I hate you–”

“So fucking much.” Levi finished, and you both looked at each other, knowing you just made it one thousand times worse by finishing each other’s sentence.

“See? You’re like a married couple already! Plus it’s Erwin’s orders so you can’t back out.” They clapped their hands together excitedly, looking between you as if they were witnessing a proposal. You were surprised how they could be so ecstatic considering the last few days, but Hange was always good at masking grief with insanity. You were glad you knew them so well.

“When are we heading out?” you asked, your voice completely monotone. If you were being completely honest with yourself, you knew you weren’t capable of just sitting and waiting to hear news. You knew Hange had done this for you because though the two of you were completely different, you had your similarities.

Like being unable to stay out of battle, for example. 

As for Levi, he was more sensible than the two of you combined. You knew he wasn’t being dragged along for your benefit alone, but you still appreciated it. Not that he would have stayed somewhere without you. Not yet anyway. The idea of being alone so soon just… he couldn’t.

“Sundown,” they confirmed, running a hand through their hair. “I have a few things to get done before then, but that should give me just enough time.” 

You placed a hand on your hip, clearly about to be here talking for longer than you were expecting to. “Oh? Like what?”

“I have a few tests to run,” you narrowed your eyes at them. “No! No, not on Eren, he’s still exhausted. On something else actually. I have a theory about that Titan crystal that I want to confirm before we leave.”

You nodded thoughtfully. There had been way too many firsts recently. The discovery of a possible four shifters within the 104th cadet corps, Titans in the walls, and now another fucking breach. And you had a terrible feeling this was just the beginning.

–I know.–

As per usual, Levi’s voice brought you no small degree of comfort. This time, you didn’t refrain from looking at him, a soft, grateful smile pulling at your lips. How any single person could be so fucking perfect, you would never know.

–Stop.–

–Hmm. Make me.–

–You’re ridiculous.–

–You’re hot.–

The next look Levi sent you was nothing short of withering as if he’d already grown tired of your bullshit. Which seemed impossible. He loved your bullshit!

–No, I really don’t.–

–Wait… really?– You asked, with a hint of genuine concern. 

Levi paused for a moment. Were you actually worried, or were you just trying to get him to admit that he actually did enjoy your bullshit? 

–...maybe sometimes.–

–HA! Knew it!– you responded, far too smugly for his liking. He suppressed the urge to sweep your leg. If only his own wasn’t badly injured…

“So, how does all of this work?”

You both snapped back to look at Hange, who you’d completely forgotten was there. It wasn’t the first time you’d been so caught up in your little mental conversation that you forgot about the verbal ones, but this was on a whole other level. Hange was right there, and you’d both just ignored them in favour of having your own private little chat.

“What uh– like uh, how does uhm– like– what do you, like, mean?”

–That was possibly one of the greatest butt-fumbles of a question you’ve ever asked.–

–Did you just say butt-fumble?!–

–Concentrate. Hange’s answering.–

–Oh shi- – 

“Well, everyone and their mother, dead or alive, can tell that there’s something deeper here. Deeper than your average cute lil’ relationship, I mean.”

“I will cut you and it will hurt.” 

It took you a minute to figure out who’d said that between you and Levi, having had the exact same thought.

Or was that a thought of his? It was getting hard to tell now. 

“Come on now Levi, ever since we caught your two cuddling on the floor–”

“I was bleeding out!” You protested with indignance. Honestly, Nanaba and Nifa had not stopped talking about that. You almost fucking died!

“An insignificant detail. But a few things have been running through my mind, the first being how could you,” they pointed to Levi, who looked ready to commit arson, “have possibly known she had blown her stitches?”

“I’m right fucking here…” you muttered, causing Levi to snort in your head.

“There was no way she could have told you, and nobody had entered her room since you had to kick the door in. Not only this but there was that day in the field too! We were mid-conversation and you just suddenly took off! Next thing I hear you’d managed to save her life,”

“I’m still right fucking here.” 

“So, how does this all work? Because you can’t be human with the things you’re able to do–”

“What?”

“–and he always manages to save your ass even when he didn’t know it needed saving five seconds beforehand!”

The air around you fell completely silent. You didn’t even begin to question how Hange had managed to work this much out already, because of course they did. This shouldn’t have come as such a surprise if you were being honest, and yet here you were, stunned into silence. 

Levi too found himself mentally floundering for a logical explanation. Because how the fuck would he explain how the bond between you worked when he himself barely knew. He could feel your pain, your pleasure, your emotions. He could see glimpses into a future where, had he failed, you died. Not to mention the fact you could both access a shared space within your combined souls where you couldn’t feel each other and that space could be morphed and crafted into anything. It could be a little cabin for just the two of you, or a giant open field with a lake like it was the first time. But no matter where you were, that glowing tree of pure light was always there. Always.

“What’s your theory?”

Levi turned to you, wide-eyed. Was this it? Were you about to tell them everything? How the bond worked, how it started, and how it’s going now?

Hange’s eyes glinted with newfound enthusiasm. You’d made it into a little game, and they’d picked up on it. It was obvious enough that something was going on between you and Levi, and they had so far guessed right, that this something wasn’t just surface level, and ran so much deeper than anybody could see. 

–Are you out of your fucking mind?–

You almost laughed aloud at the panic in Levi’s voice.

–Just trust me, okay?–

–If Four-eyes ends up running experiments on me, I will never forgive you–

Mischief radiated from the part of his soul that was occupied by you, and he grit his teeth. Fuck’s sake.

“My theory? Well, I haven’t had the time to properly work anything out, but I think Shorty here can do more than he lets on, but of course, you already know that, don’t you?” 

You held up your hands in innocence. “I’m not saying anything until I hear what you think is going on,” you countered, rather enjoying this new game you’d started, even if you knew it stressed the fuck out of your little soulbond. He would be totally fine… no real harm could come from Hange knowing a little more about your relationship. 

You were almost certain.

“Okay so what if, we know Levi has more than human abilities when it comes to fighting, so what if he had more than human abilities when it comes to love? What if his fighting skill wasn’t the only thing he excelled at. What if communication was something he could do on an insane level too?”

“That's ridiculous–”

“I’m listening…”

These synchronised responses were a tad suspicious, you would admit. And yet it only seemed to further Hange’s excitement in the two of you.

“Okay so! What if, hear me out, he could communicate with you, on like, another level…?”

–How crazy would that be?– Well that made it borderline impossible not to snort in Hange’s face.

–Levi…?–

–Mm?–

–Not helpful.–

“Like, how do you mean?” You were more than happy to bite. More than happy to entertain this with the slightest hint of sarcasm, hoping that would throw them slightly. Conversational politics, something you’d learned from Erwin many years ago. And though you still stand by the fact you weren’t brave enough for politics, it was still nice to use all that he’d taught you when he was your captain.

“So, and bear with me here, what if he could somehow communicate with you without anyone else hearing. Like, in your head or something?”

Your eyes widened slightly. Oh fuck, they really did have a lot figured out, didn’t they? You stared at them for a moment, both hearing and feeling Levi freak the fuck out. This wasn’t exactly how you were expecting this conversation to go…

“Hange…?

They looked at you like a puppy faced with a bone. “Yeah?”

You paused.

“That’s fucking ridiculous.” You flatlined, before subtly kicking Levi’s foot and walking away without another word. It wasn’t that you enjoyed watching the misplaced hype fade from their eyes, but when it came to something so secret and special as the bond between you and your soulmate, you didn’t mind letting them down a few times. 

Levi followed you, and if he didn’t love you so damn much, he probably would have killed you for pulling a stunt like that. But there was something about the confident way you walked, the slight swing in your hips like you knew he was watching you. 

–Of course I know… and we have a few hours before Hange wants us on that cart…– he knew that tone in your voice. That slightly sultry cadence drove him batshit crazy and worst of all, you knew it drove him insane.

–...What did you have in mind?–

Levi’s back hit the door to his office with a solid thud, the sound of the sliding lock securing his arousal as you pinned his arms above his head with your threaded fingers. If his mouth was free, he would have whimpered along with the shot of heat running through his spine. But with your tongue thrust down his throat, he could only manage a choked squeak of approval. He fucking loved it when you were bold like this. When you took control. When you slammed him against the wall and made him forget his own damn name. 

Combined moans danced with each other when you forced your leg between his thighs, applying delicious pressure to the borderline painful strain against the front of his slacks. You were rabid, vicious, desperate with your other hand, ripping his jacket from his shoulders. Your mouth travelled from his tongue to his jaw, setting his voice free from the confines of his throat, breathy gasps flying from parted lips. You nipped and bit with tongue and teeth, sharply pinching down the side of his neck, a particularly sensitive weakness. 

“Sh-shit, someone’s ea-AH! Fuck! Eager,” you interrupted him with a bite to the spot just behind his ear. That paired with the bold grasp of his clothed cock after tearing his jacket off sent his brain short circuiting. 

You didn’t know where this sudden craving for his body came from. Sure, you always wanted to fuck him, you didn’t think there was a minute in a day where you couldn’t happily discard your clothes for him if he asked, but where this specific craving came from, you weren’t entirely sure. You just had the sudden urge to shove his dick in your mouth.

“Fuck, you can’t think shit like that… n-not when-ngh, not when I can-n still hear it.” You stifled your heated chuckle by sucking a bruise into the side of his neck, groaning along with him when your cunt throbbed. You hadn’t even thought about the idea of pleasuring yourself purely by pleasuring him, but now that seed had been planted in your head, you were definitely going to abuse the power the moment the chance arose. 

“Keep your hands up,” you instructed, threading your fingers out from his grasp. To your surprise, he actually obeyed for once, his palms now flat against the door behind him as you tore his shirt out from where he’d tucked it into his pants. You didn’t even bother to undo the buttons, just shoved it up his stomach until you had access to his peaked nipples, flicking and pinching until he cried out and your eyes rolled, once again latching onto his neck. 

Levi knew you’d left a mark he wouldn’t be able to cover up easily, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care right now. Now when all he could do was rake his nails down the wood behind him as you started to travel down his chest, skipping his covered collarbones. A small mercy, but a mercy nonetheless. 

Now you had the freedom to, you couldn’t count how many purple blossoms you’d suckled into pecs, crescent bite marks flushing pink against his pale skin, pebbled nipples now sensitive and raw. You popped one into your mouth, gripping his waist with one hand when you felt his crowing pleasure as your own. It was impossible to stem the constant thrumming of your clit when the tip of his cock kept rubbing against the front of his seam. Levi bucked his hips impatiently as you slowed down the pace of your actions, licking a hard line from his naval up to the centre of his chest. Having to hold his shirt up was getting frustrating, restricting the use of both your hands. You’d almost abandoned his chest completely, before a wicked idea sprouted in your mind.

Levi could feel it, the sudden spark of mischief in your heart, and before he could even truly decipher what it was you had planned, you stood back up and shoved the bottom of his shirt between his teeth, gagging his keening moans. You took a small step back, just to admire his appearance. Flushed all over, painted black and blue by your teeth, rosy pink dusting his cheeks and sweat dripping down the side of his pinched brows. A new painting, you thought to yourself.

–Come. On–

You grinned. Even in your head he sounded as desperate as he looked. Though you could feel it too, the tightening coil of arousal. But toying with him has become one of your favourite pastimes. “I’m just admiring the view, you look fucking delicious ‘Vi.”

Despite his current situation, he still managed to roll his eyes. –I’m not above getting myself off if you don’t hurry up–

Oh. Oh that was a mistake. He knew the moment your eyes lit up and his cock throbbed as an echo of your own pussy. 

You stepped back up to him, keeping searing eye contact as your fingers deftly unhooked his belt and slowly pulled down the front of his zipper. “Yeah? Show me then.” 

There was nothing he could do against the dare in your voice, and especially not as you reached into his briefs, pulling out his desperately soaking cock. He watched you bite your cheek at the first brush of your hand, your lips parting as you couldn’t help but pump him slightly, too lost in your own growing pleasure. 

Levi arched his back off the door behind him and into your loose fist, forgetting all about your little challenge when your thumb circled his head, your cheek falling against his shoulder. It was all he could do to remember to breathe through the now sodden shirt clamped between his teeth, ragged gasps fueling your movements. 

His voice cracked as you squeezed the base of his shaft, eyes screwed closed and hands balling tight. 

“Not yet…” you panted against his neck, before setting him free completely and walking backwards until your thighs hit the desk behind you. From here, you removed your own belt, pulling down your pants and underwear in one motion. Levi didn’t know what you had planned, but his eyes instantly honed in on your soaking cunt the moment you hopped up onto the desk and spread yourself for him. 

“I want you to watch my pussy throb around nothing as you fuck yourself with your fist. And before you ask, no I won’t be touching myself.”

Levi almost came there and then. That had to have been the single hottest thing you’d ever said to him. Though the idea was cruel, the tip of his cock leaked at the idea. 

–Fuck… you’re serious?–

“Completely.”

–Do I have to keep this fucking thing in my mouth?–

“You want me to find something else to gag you with?” The idea of stuffing your underwear in his mouth did spring to mind, but it was too much of a hassle to take your boots off. Plus, it was so much hotter this way, you got to see the extent of what your previous administrations did to his chest.

–Shit, okay… can I use both hands?–

“Nope. Just one.”

–Fuck you’re cruel today–

“You gonna keep me waiting?”

With a huff of indignance, Levi left one of his hands to claw at the wood behind him, the other coming down to clasp his aching cock. You both moaned in unison, every stroke down his shaft feeling like he was inside you, your walls fluttering against nothing. 

You’d instructed him to watch your cunt, something he thought he could do with ease, but when he grasped his dripping head and swirled his thumb around his tip, he fought tooth and nail against the instinct to throw his head back. 

You, on the other hand, did no such thing. “Fuck ‘Vi… like that. Oh shit, feels… fuck that feels good,” you breathed, feeling your clit pulse with a phantom touch. You still had every intention of sucking him off, but for now you just wanted to feel, content to keen and writhe as you relished every languid pump of his cock.

Every instinct was screaming at him to cross the room and bury himself deep inside your walls, seeing you so wet and ready for him. But he would be good today. This was something new that neither of you had thought of before, and he would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying it more than he thought he would. He watched you gush, your hips lifting off the desk as his hand applied pressure, sparking another cracked moan from his barred lips. 

Before, the idea of getting himself off was never really appealing. It was only since this had started did he actively enjoy it, most likely because he knew you were feeling good too. So, with newfound courage, Levi ran his thumb down the vein on the underside of his shaft, crying out with the sharp spike of euphoria in his blood. 

You obviously weren’t unaffected. “Yes! Fuh–ahaah! Fuck…! Ag-again!” 

He was yours to command, and so complied with your wish, once again thumbing down the sensitive vein. A sob wracked from his chest, bringing your back to reality.

–Please! I… I can’t fucking- NGH! Please…!– 

“Y-you want my f-ah! Want my fingers?” you asked, throwing your previous promise of not touching yourself out the window. 

Levi’s hair bounced with a vigorous nod, only now craving that toe-curling sensation he felt when you hit that particularly sensitive spot inside you. 

You made a show of sucking on your fingers, eyes still rolling as he continued to pleasure you both, before slowly pushing them through your folds. Levi’s gasp blended into a high pitched sob as you teased your own cunt. He’d actually been the one to help you find your g-spot, instructing you through heavy lashes until he too was keening. You could find it without much effort now, and when you finally pushed against it, Levi let his shirt fall.

“NGHA-HAAH! Shit! Oh fuck fuck FUCK!” You didn’t say anything when the back of his head hit the door, eyes screwed shut again as he desperately bucked his hips into his fist, picturing your pussy sucking him in. Neither of you had had the time to explore where in him you could tease until he went cross eyed, finding the same result this way. But he knew you wanted to, and deep down, he knew he wanted to too. Nothing had ever felt this good. 

Goosebumps started to prickle your skin as you curled your fingers, his wanton cries an orchestra to your performance. Though this wasn’t exactly what you had in mind when you’d provoked him earlier, this was so much better. The room became a symphony of ecstasy, neither of you able to voice anything other than pure, unadulterated pleasure. 

You stilled your fingers at the same moment Levi stilled his hand, looking at each other with nothing but burning desire, both of you heaving for oxygen.

“You let the shirt fall…” you rasped, voice slightly raw. Levi opened his mouth to reply, but just at that moment you curled your fingers inside yourself again, sending him back into a stuttering, moaning mess.

“I– ah-haah! W-wasn’t my fault!” It wasn’t the attitudinal retort he wanted to have, but that seemed impossible when you were still inadvertently fucking him. 

Sliding your fingers from your cunt, you both sighed slightly at the loss, before you finally took the time to remove your boots, pulling your pants and underwear off completely. 

Levi stood still against the door, catching his breath for a moment. Neither of you had come yet, likely making this the longest you have lasted in each other’s presence. Hopping off the desk, Levi watched as your hips swing with each step towards him, and when you held out your hand, he willingly took your wrist, lapping up your tacky slick from your fingers. 

You removed them from his tongue’s reach, replacing them with your own mouth as you kissed him hard. You felt him shiver as you once again grasped his cock, your eyes fluttering as you finally sank to your knees before him. He could barely stand to look at you, all of a sudden so submissive before him, and the moment you wrapped your lips around his tip, vibrations caressing his head from your own moaning, his head once again hit the door. 

“Fuuuuuck… like that… just l-like that, shit…!” your tongue caressed his frenulum, hand twisting and pumping around what couldn’t fit in your mouth. Your eyes closed as your highs approached, having kept them from another for far too long. Hollowing your cheeks, you sucked against his tip hard, drawing a staggered whimper from his chest. “C-cum!! Gonna cum, fuck! G…gah-ah! Gonna fucking cum…!” 

Your nails dug crescents into the milky skin of his waist, knowing the maintenance of your movements will bring you both crashing over the edge. And the moment Levi’s hands threaded through your hair and his hips bucked bruisingly into your mouth, you cried out around his cock as your high hit you, his spilling cum hitting the back of your throat.

Having lost control of his body, Levi’s back bowed in a steep arch, barely able to intake a gasp of breath before pure euphoria injected into his veins, balls tightening before releasing down your throat in sharp spikes of ecstasy. He vaguely registered you too hitting your high, the slight pain from your nails only heightening his pleasure. A long, pitched wail flew past his lips, thighs shaking as he fought to stay on his feet, his muscles having turned to liquid honey.

Caught up in the throes of your orgasm, your nose brushed the coarse hairs on his shuddering naval, having fallen forward without much care for his cock shoving further down your throat. Levi hissed as you whined around his overly-sensitive member, still twitching in the confines of your mouth, before gently moving your head back, setting you both free. 

You chuckled softly, resting your forehead against his thigh as you both basked in the afterglow, taking a moment to catch your breaths, your thumb smoothing over the red marks you’d left around his waist, shivering slightly as you felt them burn into your own skin. 

“Where… the hell… did that come from?” Levi breathed, his fingers curling through your hair, gently massaging against your scalp. Sex between you two was good. He was never going to deny that. The whole feeling each other thing was fucking incredible, but there was something about you ordering him to watch you cunt and get off to it that almost made him harden again. 

“Not too sure to be honest… but I wanna experiment a bit with it…”

“Tch, you sound like Hange.” 

The breath of your laughter huffed against his thigh, and it was only now did he realise that there really wasn’t a lot of mess to clean up, since he’d finished down your throat. The only real mess there was currently dripped from between your thighs, and it took all the power in his blood not to drop to the floor and clean you with his tongue.

“Wish we had the time…” you responded to the thought, shakily rising to your feet, your legs feeling weak both from kneeling and cumming your brains out. Levi thread his hands through his hair, sighing in blissful relief, only opening his eyes when he felt your thumb against the tender spot on the side of his neck, testing the bruise he knew you were looking at.

“Is it bad?”

“Uhm…” your voice was too pitched for his liking, eyes narrowing at your sheepish expression. “It’s… you have any scarfs…?” 

Levi sighed heavily. He couldn’t be mad, not when every high you gave him was better than the previous one, but he did start to question your motives.

“I am not being possessive! I just get carried away sometimes, we both know that.” You pouted, pushing off him and crossing the room back towards your clothes. He wasn’t letting you get away with this though, not so easily. Stuffing himself back into his briefs and zipping up his slacks, Levi couldn’t be bothered to tuck his shirt back in before reaching you in two broad strides, wrapping his arms around your half naked waist and sucking a deep, biting bruise into the exact same spot on your own neck, making a twin to the now fading one on the other side. 

You instantly melted into his touch, gasping lightly as you felt his teeth sink into your skin. A drunk smile pulled at your lips, your brain hazing for a moment, before he stopped suckling and pressed another, lighter kiss against your jaw. 

“There. Now we’re even.”

“Not nearly, I still have this one.” you didn’t sound as put together as you would have liked, but the mere thought seemed impossible when you could feel him smiling against your neck. 

It hit you like a punch from a Titan there and then. A singular thought that could ruin hundreds of moments. They wouldn’t get this. None of them would. They would never be able to experience something like this again. Why was it so right that you did? Grief constricted your breathing to the point where you pulled away from him, wordlessly tugging your clothes back on.

And of course, Levi knew what had happened. Knew exactly what you were thinking. He could hear it loud and clear in his own head. With everything that had happened lately, you hadn’t had the time to process your sorrow. Over the last two or three days, Levi had found himself awoken by your presence trying to make a home in his mind, terrified of your own. You didn’t want to be there, still tormented by guilt and hollowed sorrow. 

“Sorry…” you mumbled, running an exhausted hand through your slightly sweaty hair. “Ruined it, right?” you couldn’t help offering him a melancholy and sheepish smile, now feeling guilty for ruining what was a really nice moment between the two of you. Though the mask dropped when you felt a phantom warmth descend around you. Levi knew you didn’t always like to be physically comforted, but he could still give you the feeling without touching you.

“Never.” he responded gently, reaching his hand out slightly apprehensively, waiting to see if you would shy away or accept the offer. And to his relief, you pressed your arm into his open hand, letting him guide you into his embrace. He knew this had been particularly tough on you. Though his squad was his family too, he still had Hange and Erwin. But you’d never bonded with them as much as you had with your departed friends. They were your family, he knew that. “You’re okay.”

You wanted to nod, but you couldn’t lie to him. You weren’t, but you had to be. You didn’t have a choice right now. These brief moments of weakness were all you were permitting yourself. Anything more and you would take it too far, losing control of your emotions and slipping back into that state Levi had to drag you out from. You wouldn’t put him through that again. It wasn’t fair. 

“I just, I miss them so fucking much.” The tears you shed now weren’t ones of pleasure, but of pain. Of mourning the loss of time to mourn your family properly. He knew. Of course he knew. He would always know. But there was something so heartbreaking about hearing you admit it out loud.  

“It’s bad today, isn’t it?” He asked, softly placing his head atop your own in a successful attempt to bring you comfort, if the way you buried your face into his bruised neck was anything to judge by. 

–Yeah–

You were too afraid your voice would crack if you said anything out loud anymore, wanting more than anything to sink into his skin and disappear from the world, to let his half of your soul consume you and keep you. It hurt to breathe, knowing that they would never breathe again. It hurt to smile and laugh. It hurt to love as deeply as you do now. 

–I know, I know– 

Levi’s voice filled your head, fighting back those thoughts of your undeserved survival. You didn’t think you’d need to hear the reasons to fight again so soon after he uttered them not so long ago, but he was right. It was bad today. Maybe that was why you had him against the door like that, but the idea of using him as a distraction was even worse.

–You know that doesn’t matter to me–

Yes, you knew, but it didn’t help. Letting yourself feel would help, but you didn’t have the time. Neither of you did. And with the news of the recent breach… you didn’t know when you would have the time. And with your injuries, you couldn’t keep yourself busy. You couldn’t ride out with your comrades in this state. You were fucking useless. She was right, this whole time. You’d let your family die, you’re too weak to fight. You hadn’t thought about her in a while, but your grandmother was right. 

“Enough.”

All thoughts in your head ceased. 

Levi used a tone that he knew would get you to shut up, a tone he knew would grind your spiral to a complete halt. Because though it was soft, it was stony. It was a command from your Captain and an order from your bond. 

“Shit… yeah, sorry.” you drew in a slow, deep breath, feeling Levi assist to calm your accelerating heartbeat. When the time would come, you weren’t sure, but you were sure that it wasn’t now. You would get to mourn them, just not yet. 

Drawing you from his chest, Levi cupped your face with both hands, smoothing away the remains of tears beneath your eyes and down your cheeks with his thumbs. “Alright?”

“Yeah, yeah I’m okay. Thanks,” you reassured, though your lover didn’t look convinced. 

“You have to let yourself be happy…” 

“Damn, and that’s coming from you.” 

Though it was a low blow, Levi was just relieved you were back to your old self somewhat. Under any other circumstance, he would have at least attempted to hide his soft smile, would have tried to feign irritation. But he couldn’t find it in himself. “Oi, I’m trying, okay?” 

Maybe he could feign a little irritation. Just a little.

You huffed a light chuckle, placing one of your palms atop his scarred knuckles. “Guess we both have to try a little harder.” Pressing your lips to his, you sealed the promise, nothing but love now radiating from your mind. It settled his heart, a kiss of a different passion. No heat, just purity. 

Fuck did he love you. And he would tell you one day, with his words, not just his thoughts.

“There’s no rush.” He felt you were unable to say that with complete honesty. There was always the constant pressure of time breathing down your necks. The unforeseeable future where one of you, or maybe even both of you, may be dead without ever getting to hear those words. 

Like pulling a thread, Levi chased a memory he’d all but forgotten until now. “Do. Not. Lose. Her.”

“Who told you that?” You asked, quirking an intrigued brow. 

“Honestly? Not sure. But it’s the second time I heard it when pulling you from your weird mind lake thing.”

“Hey!”

Levi smirked briefly at your offended façade, before resuming recounting what had happened from his perspective, now you could both talk about it without reopening any wounds. “The door between my head and the bond, it wouldn’t open. I couldn’t get to you. This voice told me to break it,” he turned to lean back against the desk just as you hopped atop it, crossing your ankles.

“What did they sound like?”

“Fucking patronising.”

You snorted. Only Levi would have said something like that about a disembodied voice he couldn’t identify. “Idiot, I meant like, how old? Where from? Did he have an accent like that Sasha girl?”

“Sasha has an accent?”

“Sometimes, though I haven’t really heard her speak much, there's a certain lilt to her voice.” It reminded you of the way Oluo used to speak, before he saw Levi as his new religion and changed his entire image. That first day was hilarious.

Fuck.

“No, she doesn’t have an accent.” He continued, knowing what you’d just thought about and wanting to squash another spiral before it even happened. 

“It’s a woman?”

“I think so… the first time it was indistinguishable but… thinking back now…” his heart clenched. “It sounded like my mother.”

Your eyes widened slightly. Was that possible? 

Levi swallowed thickly before continuing on. “Not in the way she spoke, but in the way her voice sounded. Pitch, cadence, tone… everything. I was too focused on you to really process but… it was her.” 

You covered his hand braced on the edge of the desk. Despite his calm exterior, Levi was a constant maelstrom of emotions, and you did find yourself struggling at times to decipher what exactly he was feeling. Now was a good example, where you couldn’t tell if he was comforted or haunted by the idea of his mother talking to him. 

“‘Vi…”

“At least, the voice was the same. Pretty sure my mother would never say ‘Now is not the time to doubt, blood of mine. Break the door. Do. Not. Lose her.’” He quoted exactly what he remembered being told that night. It was guidance, though brutal as it was. 

You bit your lip in thought, watching as Levi’s tongue darted out to smooth the small phantom hurt. You really must remember to stop doing that so much. “‘Blood of mine’ ? Are all Ackerman’s connected to each other?” you asked, kind of wishing you had told Hange about the bond now. Maybe they could have helped decipher.

“Hard to say. I’ve never heard or felt anything before. Not even around Mikasa, and she’s an Ackerman.”

“You could just share the same last name and nothing more?” It was a weak suggestion, but a possibility nonetheless.

“I would have agreed had I not seen the reports of her strength and then seen it with my own eyes. You saw how she fought the Female Titan. That’s no regular strength.”

“You sayin’ I couldn’t have done something like that?” you asked, eyes flashing with cheeky mischief. Levi clicked his tongue, his own eyes rolling.

“She’s what, fifteen? Yes, I’m saying you couldn’t have done something like that at fifteen years old.”

“You didn’t even know me at fifteen years old!” you protested indignantly. “In fact, I–”

You were rudely cut off by Levi slapping his hand over your mouth, giving you a warning look. Returning his glare, you stuck your tongue out to lick the palm of his hand in petty defiance. Something which earned you nothing but a raise of his brow. 

Point taken.

“It’s weird though,” you began after he removed his hand. “Why can’t you hear any of this when I’m like, not drowning in my mental health held together with a piece of fraying string?”

Levi sighed again, really wishing you wouldn’t talk about your own emotions like that, but now wasn’t the time to bring that up. “Not sure, I guess it only happens when I need it to?” he sounded as unsure as you did, which made sense considering neither of you knew what the fuck was really going on. 

“Think it has something to do with the weird tree thing?” 

He knew what you were talking about, and honestly, it was a sound theory. “I do find it weird that no matter where we’ve chosen, that tree will always be there somewhere,” He sighed, sliding a tired hand down the side of his face. “I’m sorry, I wish I knew more, but I’m as clueless as you are, despite this all coming from me.” 

Your cheek against his shoulder was a welcome presence, strands of your hair tickling the underside of his jaw. “It would feel off-balanced if you knew more than I did anyway,” you reassured him. “Still, I would like to talk to Mikasa. It’s not me she hates, so maybe she’d open up a bit more.”

“I have a feeling it would be a little like trying to get me to open up without knowing me for as long as you have.”

“So I have no hope? Unless I get her to fall in love with me and then she forms a bond with me,” you joked, before the genuine question arose in your head. “Wait yeah, what if something like that did happen? Like, if there were more people with your blood, what if two people managed to bond to the same person?” 

Levi shrugged, causing your head to tilt slightly. “It seems unlikely. If Ackermans are all connected, I don’t think whatever the bond is would let that happen. If it did…” he slid his eyes to where you were peering at him from his shoulder. “They’d probably duel or some shit.”

You barked a laugh, rising to stretch your arms above your head. “The sheer number of references you make to Frederik and Jules is absolutely appalling Levi Ackerman. Honestly, have you no shame?” Hopping off the desk, you crossed the room to unlock the door, thinking it would be a little suspicious if someone tried to enter whilst the bolt was across. 

“Clearly not, I bonded with you, didn’t I?” 

You swivelled, gaping at his audacity. It took you a moment to truly register what he had said, before taking a book from the shelf nearest you and throwing it in his general direction. “Rudeness! Rudeness of the highest insult!” 

Whatever poor piece of literature you’d thrown at him was easily dodged, landing harmlessly behind the desk. “You can’t throw books at me, I’m injured.”

“You can’t throw insults at me, so am I!” you folded your arms, managing to keep his little devious smirk from cracking the defences in your expression. No, you will absolutely not let him get away with this! 

“Yeah, you will.”

“Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?” you challenged, your expression still masked hard. Though as the moments lingered on and he kept looking at you like that, your resolve started to waver. “Fuck’s sake, I’m worse than Erwin and he let you get away with literal murder.” 

“Speaking of which, how didn’t I know you two were old friends?” he asked, finally tucking his shirt back in and retrieving the black jacket you’d all but thrown to the floor, dusting it off with a barely veiled look of disdain. 

“Likely because we barely talk as old friends anymore. He got caught up in being a Commander and I got caught up in wrangling you,” Levi raised a suggestive brow, pulling a laugh from your chest. “I didn’t mean it like that, but yes that as well. I meant in a ‘making sure you actually became a soldier and figuratively beating the shit out of anyone who called you a rat’ kind of way.”

Levi’s eyes widened slightly. He didn’t know you’d done that for him. You rolled your eyes, now trying to play it off. “Don’t let it get to your head. I almost fought my best friend the day we all met Isabel because she called her a criminal or some shit,” you couldn’t escape the slight blush in your cheeks. Yes, you’d done it in Isabel’s memory somewhat, but you’d also done it because you’d taken a liking to him from quite early on. 

“I remember that…” it was the first time he’d bore witness to your fight. To a fire he’d now sworn to never let dwindle, and to protect at all costs. “Still, in all the years I’ve known Erwin, he’s not once mentioned you.”

“Guess he’s just as rude as you are then.” You had seen the opportunity and seized it with both hands, smirking slightly at his resulting scoff. “I think I might know why, though.”

Levi perked up slightly. “Oh?”

“That same evening after I met you and fought with Nana, we had a conversation. Erwin and I. We both knew he would likely be made Commander soon, meaning his squad would be left captainless,” Levi listened silently. He’d never heard you speak about the day he first met you, having not even discussed the tea you shared that day. “He told me I should take the offer to be made captain. I told him that I couldn’t.”

He didn’t know for sure, but Levi could hazard a guess. You’d lost faith in your abilities after what happened to Ilse.

“I don’t think he took it very well. He seemed kinda disappointed. But after that he was made Commander pretty quickly and yeah, that was that.” You didn’t particularly want to go into any more detail than that. Dragging up old, suppressed memories now wasn’t exactly a good idea, considering your current unstable mental state. Levi could see for himself if he wanted to, you’d already given him permission to see any memories he may deem necessary to understand you more as a person.  

“I see,” was all he could say in response. Pressing with further questions didn’t seem like a good idea, and the last thing he wanted to do was make you feel any more uncomfortable with the conversation. 

“So yeah, that’s about it. He was Captain of my squad, asked me to take over, I refused, you took the position instead.”

…Well he didn’t know that.

“Sorta why I’ve been indebted to you from the beginning. If you hadn’t shown up with your crazy abilities and shitty attitude I probably wouldn’t be here now.” You smiled, though it didn’t take a detective to see the slight pain behind it. Whatever that meant, he didn’t want to know, but with the bond being what it was, it didn’t seem like him joining the Scouts was a decision he made at all. But rather something else blessed by fate. Not that he was much of a believer in that kind of thing. 

“You owe me nothing.”

“Well I know that now, yeah.”

“You owed me nothing back then, too.”

The room was silent for a moment, before you shattered it with a soft sigh. “I wish this had happened sooner. Between us, I mean.”

Levi crossed over to where you were leaning on the very same bookshelf you’d chucked a book from, once again taking you effortlessly into his embrace. He had the same thoughts so often. He wished he could have told you years ago. It wasn’t exactly love at first sight between you two, but he savoured his memories of the rocky start. The biting insults soon turned playful. The cleaning punishment morphing into shared time together. Though he wished he’d had you sooner, he wouldn’t trade watching you flounder around Eld for all the romance novels in the world. 

You drew back, clearly having heard what he was thinking. “Really?

“It was pretty damn funny watching the two of you.”

Your forehead fell against his shoulder as you let out a long groan of embarrassment. “Fuck’s sake, even Erwin saw that.”

“He spoke to you about it?”

“Yeah, on the expedition. He wanted to extend his congratulations to us, which I thought was kinda nice of him, though he had a few other things to say….”

Levi looked at you, his eyes hard. “I assume he warded you away from me?”

“Not exactly. It was nicer than that, actually. He just told me to be careful.” you recalled the conversation in your head, sending snippets of visuals down the bond. Levi nodded, entertaining the image of you and Erwin by the campfire, having a surprisingly deep conversation, considering the circumstances. Though you left out the part where he told you not to hurt him. You were already afraid of doing that, but Levi didn’t need to know.

It must have been fate listening in, that there was a knock on the door just at this moment. You both looked at each other, the rapping sound breaking you both out of the little domestic bubble you so often found yourselves in nowadays. In a moment, you’d lifted a spare chair from the corner up to the desk to avoid the noise of dragging it along the wooden floorboards, and Levi had sat himself down, hunching over so it looked as if you were both completely caught up in paperwork. 

“Come in.” he’d managed to morph his voice so it sounded mundane, as if he’d been doing this for hours. You couldn’t help but admire the adaptability. You guess you really weren’t the only chameleon in the room.

Moments after, a brown haired messenger announced themselves, opening the door with surprising flamboyance. “Captain Levi, Sir! Commander Erwin has asked for you, Sir! He wants to meet with you immediately, Sir!” 

If you had taken a shot for everytime this guy had said sir you’d be well on your way to a good night out. However, there wasn’t time for things like that right now.

“Alright, I hear you. Dismissed.”

You snorted at the overenthusiastic salute the cadet made, before marching off to the left. He couldn’t have been any older than seventeen, poor kid. 

Levi stood with a sigh, clearly not thrilled about the idea of a meeting, but you both knew what it was likely going to be about. You guessed neither of you had confirmed you’d go along with Hange. 

“Guess you’ve been summoned,” you raised a brow as he walked around the desk, watching his hard expression set. You stood, catching him before he walked off and pressing your thumb in the crease between his brows, smoothing the tension from his face. “You can’t get this grumpy every time you’re called away.”

Levi huffed, though appreciating the attempt you made to caress away his stress. “When we don’t have a lot of time together anyway, I think I'm perfectly entitled to get this grumpy when it’s cut short.”

You grinned, pressing a kiss to his forehead. “Can’t argue with that. Make sure you let him know, hm?”

He rolled his eyes, though a smile still pulled at his lips. He masked it by moulding them into yours. “See you later.” He murmured, giving your arm a quick squeeze before he headed out the door. You hated how much you missed his presence when he was gone. 

The pendulum clock on the wall ticked by for all of five minutes before a lead balloon of dread sank into the depths of your stomach. His voice was instantly in your head.

–What? What’s wrong? You alright?–

–Levi…?–

–What?!–

–Your neck.–

Silence. You didn’t hear anything for what felt like an eternity, before his single word response had you cackling.

–Fuck.–

When the blanket of night settled over the world and a slight chill blew in the wind, you hugged your jacket closer around your shoulders, trying to stave the cold from getting to your bones. Though you’d healed fairly well, your leg still sang a melancholy song of pain with each step you took, earning yourself a slight limp. Your other wounds had healed nicely, slices closing up from your brow to your stomach. It was only really your leg that posed a problem now, though you’d been left with some pretty heft scars. Nothing new.

Walking through the courtyard, soldiers were busying themselves with packing supplies, crates of metal canisters, spare blades, boxes of field rations all being loaded onto various carts. You’d hidden it from Levi, but you intended to go with the group to search the wall. Orders be damned, you weren’t about to sit back and let everyone else do the work for you. You were physically incapable of doing that, and you also knew Levi would overestimate your ability to put sensibility above recklessness. Besides, you weren’t exactly lying…

You just hadn’t admitted the entire truth to him yet. Though it still weighed on you as a betrayal of his trust. Plus it actively drained you to hide things in your mind from him, which you guess made sense. It went against everything the bond was about.

Being caught up in thought, you didn’t see a blonde boy crossing paths with you from the right, almost crashing straight into him. It was only because you heard Eren’s voice and looked up because of it did you manage to stop the collision. 

“Shit, sorry kid, you alright?” you asked, looking back to see where he could have possibly come from. 

“Ah, yeah, I-I’m okay! Sorry, wasn’t looking where I was going,” he explained sheepishly, and you couldn't help but notice a weird resemblance to Erwin. Though this kid’s hair was longer, they had the same star-seeing eyes. 

“Nah, you’re good. Totally my fault, though you looked as deep in thought as I was. Something on your mind?” you don’t really know what prompted you to ask, but he just looked so troubled, you couldn’t help yourself.

“O-oh! No it’s nothing. Just… thinking about the Titan in the walls… and how he got there.” 

You let your mind run for a bit, before finally, realising who the kid was. Were you getting slow in your old age? 

Nah, that can’t be right. You weren’t that old for fuck’s sake.

“Ahh, you must be Armin, right? Eren’s friend?” you asked, earning yourself a look of surprise. “Vice Captain of the Levi Squad, looks like I’ll be riding with you guys.” In an instant, Armin’s fist thumped against his chest in a salute of respect.

“Ma’am! I wasn’t certain at first, but I thought it might have been you. It’s a pleasure to meet you,”

You waved off the salute, unable to help feeling as though you don’t deserve such a show of respect. Your squadmates were dead, afterall, you thought bitterly. “You’re fine, put that away, it’s not meant for me. You’re the one who had the theory about Annie, right?” You asked, now walking alongside the kid to where his friends were already in the cart. 

“Uh, sort of. It was really Commander Erwin and Section Commander Hange, I just suggested who it could be, it wasn’t–”

“Thank you, Armin. I los–” you stopped yourself. This poor kid didn’t need to hear about who you lost to that monster. “A lot of good soldiers died because of her. You helped us take a huge step in this fight for humanity,” Keeping your voice steady despite wanting to scream inside was something you’d become very good at, likely since losing Ilse. “We owe a lot to you and your friends.”

“Haha, Mikasa and Eren did most of the heavy lifting, I just helped with figuring it out.”

He clearly wasn’t used to giving himself credit. If Levi were here, he’d say something stupid like–

–Doesn’t give himself enough credit huh? Sound familiar?–

You huffed, setting your jaw. How did he always know?

–I have no idea what you’re talking about– you bit back defensively. –No it does not sound familiar, thank you very much. And shouldn’t you be concentrating?–

Warm laughter filled your head, and you couldn’t help but let it consume you, thawing your frozen bones. 

–Meeting’s finished. It was about what we thought. Coming up with Nick now. Just waiting on Hange.–

–You only talk in short sentences now? We’re not out in the field, we can talk in full sentences here–

You could hear him sigh almost in disappointment. A terrible dread obscured your thoughts. Did he know already? If he already knew, then this was about to be an awful conversation.

–You know, you’re not subtle. And I’m not stupid.–

–...Levi…–

–You know you can tell me these things, right?–

You muttered various curses, causing the poor young blond walking next to you to cast you a worried look. Shit. “Oh, no not you Armin. Just… remembering something. Don’t worry.”

“Oh… I see…” he responded awkwardly, clearly not knowing what else to say. It didn’t matter to you at the moment. Levi knew of your intentions to accompany the party to the walls, and also knew you’d kept it from him. 

–I… yeah, I know. I just, I knew you would try to stop me. I know it’s not the smartest thing to do in my condition, and I know my orders, but I just… I can’t just sit and let everyone do everything around me. I can’t just stay out of it… you know that.– you confessed. Though you were surprised he was so accepting about it. Honestly you were kind of expecting him to go all protective Levi mode and start trying to talk you out of it.

–The fuck are you talking about? And what do you mean by ‘protective Levi mode’???–

Oh. 

Shit.

–Wait. Was this not what you were talking about…?–

–...No.–

–Fuck.–

–Fuck indeed. We don’t have the time to talk about this now.–

–’Vi, I– –

–No. Later.–

Well fuck. That wasn’t exactly the best outcome. What the fuck could he possibly have been talking about if not that? Had he asked Erwin anything? Had he asked–

Then it hit you, a memory that didn’t belong to you.

“You spoke to her. Around the campfire that night. What did you say?” Levi asked, almost unable to look up from the floor. He was on his way out before Erwin called after him, just to wish him congratulations. It had been unexpected, but not unwelcome. But now he couldn’t even look at the man.

“Nothing of importance. Just congratulating her as well. And warning her from hurting you in any way,” he chuckled as if it were simply something trivial. “I know you’re strong, Levi, but I need you focused. Heartbreak doesn’t do much for a soldier’s motivation.” 

“You know you can just say you were looking out for me, no need for this whole charade,” He rolled his eyes, finally recovering after getting slapped in the face yet again by the realisation that people cared for him. “What did she say in return?”

Erwin sighed, lacing his fingers in front of his nose in thought. “That it was one of her greatest fears, hurting you. And knowing you, you likely have the same thought, no?”

Levi tensed his jaw. He knew hurting each other was a fear within your relationship, considering recent events, but he didn’t know it was your greatest fear. Why hadn’t you told him? You’d told him everything else… right? He was snapped out of his thoughts by Erwin, clearing his throat. 

“I see, I thought she would have told you. I apologise.”

That was all you saw, though it was enough. Not that you could register anything right now. You had so much going on. Too much going on, you couldn’t help but wonder how Eren coped with it all. The future of humanity used to lie on the shoulders of you, your squad and your Captain. Now you’d been unburdened with that demand, though it had been placed onto a child. How the fuck was that fair? And with the breach in Wall Rose, you were so sick of things going wrong it was starting to drive you up the fucking Walls. And now Levi knew you wanted to head out on the expedition later this evening. And from what you could tell, which was a lot, he didn’t seem too happy about it. Fuck this day.

You’d deal with it later. If Levi didn’t want to talk about it now, then you could certainly hold off. Nothing was about to change your mind, and you were content in your decision. You would go on the expedition and deal with the consequences when you came back. To hell with him.

“Great, what the hell does this mean?” 

You were snapped out of your thoughts by Eren already in the wagon, loading up ODM gear and gas canisters. You felt for the kid. He’d only just discovered what he was and already so much had happened since. Barely having time to recover from the fight against Annie and now all his friends had to be sent away in case any more of them were fucking Titans?  

“I don’t know… but they’re Titans, right? Would they seriously break through the Wall with Titans in it?” It was a good question, you had to admit. Armin’s mind was nearly as sharp as Hange’s, if only the kid had more self confidence, he could definitely gun for Commander in the next decade or so, providing he survived that long. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time, right? They did it before.”

It took you a moment to leap onto Armin’s trail of thought, but once you were there, you understood perfectly. “No, they didn’t. That was a gate. They busted through the gate, not the wall.” 

“Exactly, the Walls are different. They don’t have a single crack in them, no weak points other than the gates.” Walls this kid was smart. “There’s no signs of stress, and even stranger, there’s no way of knowing how they were built. They’re just solid walls of stone. No bricks, no nothing.”

“No nothing except Titans…” you knew where he was going with this.

“Armin, Lieutenant… what are you saying?” You couldn’t help but compare this situation to when you and Hange would be brainstorming and Levi would have no idea what you were talking about. Poor Mikasa.

“Suppose… suppose the Walls were made of the same stuff as Annie’s Titan crystal?” Armin posed.

You chewed on the suggestion for a moment. “She used that to cover her nape, right? And she trapped herself in it, so we know it’s versatile,”

“And it’s virtually indestructible, our blades breaking instantly upon impact…” 

Stepping up into the wagon, you held your hand out to help Armin up, taking a seat opposite Eren, who looked utterly horrified.

“So… the Walls are made of Titans? Is that what you’re saying?” He asked, looking down at his own hands as if they were about to catch aflame. 

“It’s just a theory at the moment, but–”

“It’s a solid one. We need to talk to Hange, and if there really is a breach in the Wall…”

The wagon jostled as you were moved into formation, but being so lost in thought you barely noticed. What the hell did this mean for humanity? Being protected by the very things that were trying to annihilate you all. And what would happen if the sun did hit them? What did Pastor Nick know that the rest of you were clueless about? And how was it that some preacher of the Walls knew? There were too many unknowns, it made you uneasy. 

You vaguely registered Mikasa wrapping her cloak around Eren, muttering something about him getting cold. It was sweet, you thought, though it brought you back to the various things you didn’t know about your own bond, wondering if Mikasa knew that’s what had happened between her and Eren, given that it had actually happened, of course. But you’d heard about her uncanny sense whenever Eren was in danger, and thought back to how Levi had the same sense about you. You hoped, for her sake, Eren would realise one day. 

“Sorry to keep you waiting! Didn’t think it would take so long to prepare.” 

You stole your nerves to look their way, though you barely registered Hange’s cheerful wave over Levi’s glare of thunder. At least his heartbeat wasn’t out of sync with yours. So this could be fixed… right? 

The wood creaked in protest as an additional three bodies crammed into the space, you shuffled up as much as you could, your body pressing against the side board as Levi took a seat next to you. You longed to press your face into his neck, but at the same time, you wanted to do anything but that. Joy, more conflicting feelings. 

“But… but he’s a priest from the Order of the Walls… Why is he–”

“I know! Nick and I are inseparable now! It’s alright, makes sense he’s here, just like the rest of us. We’re all rather random.”

It was strange for Hange to make assumptions this way. Ths group was anything but random. “No. The opposite. Erwin’s thrown us together for a reason.” Though what those reasons were, Levi couldn’t hazard a guess. The man’s motives were always mysterious until the final moments, when all would be revealed. It was an irritating habit. 

He needed to talk to you, finally realising what your intentions were, he couldn’t let you do this. You were still badly injured, and though you were recovering well, he knew your wounds were deeper than those surface level scratches. And if your stitches blew out in the field, you were dead. That was it. He couldn’t even believe you were considering this, let alone having made up your mind. It was stupid. Reckless. And downright selfish of you. 

“The condition of Wall Rose is currently unknown, but everything up to Erhmich district is safe. That’s the path we’ll be taking. Move out!” Erwin’s voice boomed from the front of the formation, loud enough that you were certain the entirety of Trost would have heard the announcement of departure. 

You stayed completely silent, debating more than ever what your next moves should be. How had things gone so damn badly? How had everything turned to shit so fucking quickly? It only felt like yesterday you were playing strip poker with your squad and now they were all fucking dead, two kids can turn into Titans and there was another fucking breach. You sighed, teeth gnawing at any loose bit of skin they could find on your lips. A habit you hadn’t indulged in a while. 

“You heard him. Get going.” It was a weak hope that speaking up so suddenly would get you to stop tearing apart your lower lip, his own stinging with each pull. You bit down a little too hard as the wagon jostled to life, and Levi almost winced with the sharp hurt. You, on the other hand, didn’t look too bothered by it, taking the opportunity to suck on the blood like some little fucked up vampire. If he wasn’t furious with you right now, he would have taken your hand into his own, current company be damned. 

He loosened a breath. Being angry with you was foreign and unknown and downright awful. He wanted to talk to you, to somehow ease the worries in your head, but he had no idea how to start a conversation with you at the moment. Not that he was ever very good with his words. Putting his opinions aside, Levi dropped his hand to brush against your arm.

Though when you flinched slightly, he wished lightning would strike him where he sat. You still refused to look at him, but he didn’t need to see your face to know you were radiating some kind of guilty resolve. You did nothing but continue to bite your lip, your fingers now tearing at your cuticles. He hadn’t seen you this stressed since you walked into his office and announced his squad would be helping Hange on their capture mission. Fuck that seemed like years ago now. 

“Well I should probably explain what we know from our friend Nick here,” Hange began, clasping a firm, almost threatening arm around the man’s shoulders. “You see, it was Nick who told us to cover the Titan in the Wall, assuming it would move should sunlight hit it. Just how he knew this, we have yet to find out.” With a quick glance to the opposite three in the wagon, you could tell they were just as baffled as you all were. 

“Wait wait wait, back up, this guy knew?! He knew and he said nothing!?” Eren exclaimed, leaning forward to almost throttle the man. 

“Uh huh, ‘friad so. And unfortunately, that’s about all he’s said. But, we all know now, of course. He doesn’t wanna talk quite yet, but that’s likely to change with a harsh dose of reality. It’s his faith keeping him quiet, but first hand experience though, we–”

“To hell with that!” 

You almost jumped at Eren’s shouting, standing and slamming his hands down on the table separating the two sides. Though if you were being honest, you missed the fighting talk from the kid.  “If this son-of-a-bitch knows something, he needs to come out with it! We’re on the brink of extinction and he’s deciding to keep quiet about what he knows? Caring only about keeping some stupid oath?!” Eren’s tone only rose with each point he made, stopping only due to what you assumed was his exhaustion spiking a sudden headache. A hand braced against the side of his head, Mikasa guided him to sit back down. 

“Take it easy Eren, you still haven’t fully recovered.” Oh she was so in love with him. It actually made you smile slightly, though it was short lived. Nothing lasts forever in the Scouts. 

Your chest constricted at the thought, and you glanced down to see Levi’s balled fist. 

And if you weren’t so busy wondering what the fuck you should do, you would have found him pulling a gun ridiculously attractive. What was wrong with you?

“There’s more than one way to get people to talk. Sure, I’m not exactly in top shape right now, but I know it doesn’t take much strength to pull a trigger. Having said that, I genuinely hope I won’t have to blow a hole in you to settle this. How ‘bout you?”

You once again cursed your current situation for not reacting after he’d just said maybe the single hottest thing you’d ever heard come from his mouth. If you weren’t in such emotional turmoil, you definitely would have started teasing him in front of everyone. 

But you were drained, and any will you had to do so had drained also.

A brief silence settled in the wagon as everyone remembered that, sure he wasn’t on active duty right now, but they were still sitting in the presence of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, and it was still intimidating. 

Well, everyone except for Hange.

“Threatening him doesn’t work, Levi. I went to throw him off the top of Wall Sina. So trust me on that. And whether you agree with him or not, Nick here is a man of principle. Which has gotta make you think, if he’s so unwilling to talk, what in heaven’s name is he putting above the fate of humanity?”

Now that placed a blanket of silence over the wagon. Because it was one hell of a good question. What was he holding above the fate of the human race? What did he deem more important than humanity’s future? 

With the conversation coming to a halt, you tilted your head back to the moonlit canopy overhead, rogue embers floating within the leaves without a care in the world. You wonder if they knew their life was short. If you knew they had these last few seconds of freedom before they faded to nothing, returning to whatever elements they were composed of. But isn’t that all anything was? A brief interval from the void of non-existence? You suddenly envied those embers. They’d never experienced grief, or heartbreak, or loss in any way. They burned, and they burned beautifully until their inevitable end. Which is all anyone could strive to do, you thought. Burn beautifully. 

Despite the morbid nature of your thought trail, you smiled. Because you knew everyone around you was doing just that. Burning beautifully. 

Levi had taken a whistlestop tour into your mind for a split second, just to see how you were holding up. What he wasn’t expecting, however, was for you to be having philosophical revelations over fire. At least you weren’t thinking about the mission he wasn’t about to let you go on. He’d take philosophy over that any day of the week. 

Though his own tired head thought otherwise. Too much had happened to be entertaining your thoughts, so he returned to his own, only now noticing Hange staring unblinkingly at a rock. It was unusual for them to be doing unusual things, but at least it was a distraction from whatever the fuck was going on with you.

“Hey Four Eyes,” –He leaned forward slightly, looking past Nick to Hange still staring at the rock– “since when did you take an interest in geology? Or is your life so boring even rocks have become fascinating, looks like you’re about to drool.” 

Hange looked up, as if they’d just been dragged from a good book. “Hm? Oh, this? It’s not a rock. At least, not an ordinary one. It’s a hardened piece of skin, left behind by the Female Titan.”

That caught your attention. Snapping out of your thoughts, you too turned to look at Hange, your expression mirroring Armin’s as he gasped slightly. “Wait, it didn’t vanish?” He asked, eyes wide with what you could only just discern as shocked intrigue. 

“No! It broke off when she reverted back to her human form. It didn’t evaporate… didn’t simply go poof,” Their enthusiasm for the conversation only increased tenfold, and you could tell as soon as they started to use onomatopoeias. “Which got me thinking… and when I compared it with a piece from the Wall, its texture and molecular structure were, for all intents and purposes, virtually identical. So basically speaking–”

“We’re being protected by the very things that are trying to devour us, only ten times bigger than average.” You finished, glancing between Armin and Hange. You’d already had a conversation like this with the blond, but now at least you knew Hange had the same theory. 

“Exactly, and if my hypothesis is correct, the Walls were constructed using consolidated Titan skin.” Hange confirmed, to the disgusted horror of the opposite three. 

“You’re kidding… that’s what Armin and the Lieutenant were just talking about.” Mikasa observed, wide eyed. But she wasn’t wrong. That was exactly what you and Armin were discussing. Honestly, not to be condescending to the girl, but you were impressed she was following.

Armin once again gasped, shooting forward in his seat. “So then–” he began, only to be rudely cut off by Hange’s hand to his face.

Unfortunately for them, you’d just had exactly the same revelation. You borderline launched across Levi, slamming your hand down on the table. “You want to–” 

However, you too received a Hange hand to the face.

“Easy there you two, it’s rude to steal somebody else’s thunder dontcha know. As it stands, we’d be hard pressed to find a rock large enough to seal Wall Rose again. It would have to be just the right shape and size, and we don’t have specifics yet,” 

You fought to free yourself from Hange’s grip, desperate to contribute to the solution and listening to Armin frantically try and talk through their other palm.

“On the other hand, where there’s a will, there’s a way. Just picture it, Eren using his own hardening ability whilst in Titan form!” They revealed, finally releasing both you and the blond from their hands. You shook your head slightly, instantly wiping your face because heaven knows where Hange’s hands had been. 

Frowning, you slouched back in your seat, folding your arms. You thought of that too. 

“Then I could… patch the hole.” Eren came to the realisation much slower than you and Armin, though you guessed, since this actually concerned him and it was all incredibly new for him, he had other things to think about. 

“The sealant should be composed of the same material, and, like with Annie’s crystal, it shouldn’t disappear once you revert to human. This might be less of a long shot than it sounds. Whaddya think?”

If Levi was given a coin for every time you and Hange got carried away in conversation to the point where he could no longer follow, he could retire within the next year. However with this boy genius now added to the mix, he realised where this was going only a few moments before Eren did. Though your pouting did almost make him laugh. He knew you would have wanted to jump in, because he knew you would have been right there with Hange’s theory. He knew you were smart enough. And he hoped that was good enough for you.

“The greater the risk, the greater the reward,” You leaned forward again, clearly having gotten over your petulance.

“And if we can patch up Wall Rose… then Wall Maria starts to look fairly promising. And vital though it is, the outposts infrastructure slows us down to a crawl,” Armin continued, and Levi couldn’t help but find it a little weird how he was now finishing your sentences.

“The time and resources needed to transport materials are immense,” and vice versa, he discovered as soon as you took off from where he left. This was getting ridiculous. 

“But… if we can nullify the necessity for supply wagons, we could get to Shiganshina much faster… And what if we decided to carry out the plan at the dead of night?!” Armin posed, stony determination written on his face. You couldn’t help but smile slightly, having found yourself on the exact same wavelength.

“Night?” It was Hange now who was having trouble keeping up, and though you felt the urge to explain, they had a point earlier. Stealing somebody else’s thunder was rude, and you realised Armin needed all the confidence boosts he could get.

“Yes! When the Titans are more or less motionless!” He finished, clearly waiting with some kind of validation on his theoretical plan.

“Huh… that’s not bad. In fact, it’s genius, particularly if the group is small enough to slip on by undetected.” –Hange looked back down at the small crystal in their hand– “The straits we’re in are about as dire as they come, but this could turn the tides completely.” 

“We have to bear in mind though, this entire plan hinges on whether or not Eren can seal the hole again.” You really did hate to be the one to throw a bucket of cold water on the atmosphere, especially when you saw Armin’s proud smile falter slightly, but he knew as well as you did it was a good point.

Hange looked across to Eren, who you could see was visibly sweating despite the slight chill of the night. “It’s probably unfair of me to even ask but… do you think you can?” They asked, brows pinching in slight sheepish guilt. 

The wagon once again fell silent as all eyes fell to the teen who wasn’t looking at any of you. Once again, you could tell he was feeling the weight of the future on his shoulders, and your heart constricted for him. Ever since that night after you’d almost killed him, when he’d accidentally turned Titan and scared the ever loving shit out of you and your squad, you’d found a new respect for him. Having now understood the burdens of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier, you could only imagine what Eren was going through. 

“What he thinks really isn’t the problem here,” Levi finally found his voice, having been in complete awe of you and the way your mind worked. “You either will, or you won’t. That’s the reality of the situation. Our comrades are breaking their backs, but without you, it’s pointless. Failure here isn’t an option.”

You knew he was right. You knew he was just adding gravity where the rest of you had lost it, bringing the conversation back down to earth, but did he really have to be so stern? So pressuring?

–I think he knows how important this is. Stop adding unnecessary weight.– You couldn’t help yourself, a weird kind of protective nature coming over you. You saw out of your peripheral his hands balling into fists.

–So now you wanna talk?–

–You were the one who shut down the conversation, not me. I was just doing what you asked.– 

Levi’s frustrated sigh blew about your head, before the tension was broken by Eren’s desperate enthusiasm to prove himself. “Sir! I know, and I’m prepared to do whatever it takes… that’s a promise.”

There and then, you could see just how heavy his memories were. You understood his guilt because you understood Levi’s guilt. You knew he felt every single life lost around him, because he was supposed to be strong enough to move forward. He was supposed to be strong enough to protect people, to take the hits when nobody else could. 

“My father’s cellar…” You tilted your head to one side, willing to put your current feud away and glance at Levi, who glanced back at you, before you both looked back at Eren, awaiting an explanation. “That’s… that’s where the answers are. If there was even a grain of truth in what he told me, everything depends on us making it there.” 

You didn’t have time to wonder what the hell that meant, before Hange announced your location; “Well, here’s Ermich.” 

Nerves bubbled in your gut, this being the place where you knew you were about to have the biggest argument in your relationship. You felt Levi tense next to you, knowing he was thinking the same thing. But neither of you were backing out of this, that much was clear. 

Hopping out of the wagon, you chose to ignore the slight bite in your thigh from your injuries, taking a moment to stretch out your back. You noticed Levi had already set off with Nick, and though you weren’t alone with Hange, you were still going to take this opportunity to talk with them. “Hey, Hans?”

Once again, like a breath of fresh air, Hange beamed at you, despite the previous conversation in the wagon. “What’s up? The atmosphere there was kinda frosty for a second huh? That Armin kid though… he’s pretty damn smart, and to come up with a plan for Shiganshina so quickly… I reckon he’d make a pretty great Commander one day.” They started off on their own conversation as the two of you made your way through Ermich district. 

“Yeah, we’d had a brief conversation before the journey about the Walls and the Titans inside and such, we pretty much came to the same conclusion.” You defended stiffly, only to Hange’s delight. 

“Awww, jealous I got there before you? Sorry sunshine, only a few have brains like these!” They skipped, and you genuinely couldn’t understand how their demeanour could shift so quickly and so dramatically. Though, you remembered a time where Levi said that about you, how you could shift your personality from casual to professional in the blink of an eye. 

You grit your teeth. Thinking about him hurt.

“Yeah yeah, whatever. I just wanted to let ya know that I’ll likely be joining you on the mission.” You tried to mention it as nonchalantly as you possibly could, but no amount of casualness could have warned them of that. 

Hange stopped in their tracks. “Aren’t you supposed to be off active duty for the time being?”

“I can stand, can I not? And I’m walking, am I not? I don’t have a good reason to be resting.” You defended adamantly. You knew this was exactly what Levi was going to say as well, so you’d already come up with arguments.

“Does Levi know?” They asked softly, and when you didn’t respond, Hange placed a hand on your shoulder. “I was wondering what had happened between you two, things seemed different in the wagon than they were this morning. Don’t solidify anything yet. Wait until you talk with him. I’d say we have roughly half an hour turnover. If you’re still set after talking to him, I’d be happy for the help.”

“You know, he doesn’t make my decisions for me.” You tried to keep the venom from your voice, but failed miserably. Hange knew, of course. They knew this wasn’t coming from a place of rage or anger with them.

“He’s your Captain. He technically does.”

“My Captain, huh? Of what squad, Hange?” It was a brutal blow, and had it been anyone else you were talking to, you know they would have walked away by now, either your glare or the toxicity in your tone causing them to leave. However, this was Hange. Hange who knew both yourself and Levi, sometimes better than you knew each other. Hange, who knew grief just as well as you did, and still managed to do everything they could. Hange, who also had friends out there in the field right now, and who hadn’t heard from them in hours, and didn’t know if they were still alive. 

They squeezed their calming hand on your shoulder. “Speak to Levi first, as a favour to me.” 

You sighed, feeling the tension sapping from your spine, knowing they were right. “Fine, but I’ve made up my mind.” 

Hange smiled in understanding, continuing on their path with you by their side. “I know you have, but if you sneak out and Levi knows I knew, I won’t live to see the sunrise.” 

Huffing a chuckle, you nodded in agreement. That was likely true, unfortunately for the both of you. Glancing back, you watched the three behind you for a brief moment. Watched as Mikasa tried to wrap Eren’s cloak back around his shoulders, to the teen’s dismay, whilst Armin tried to calm the two of them down and stop their bickering. It was a sickening reminder that, after everything, they were still just kids. 

“It’s sad. Not only was their childhood cut short, but now they hold the weight of the future on their shoulders. Eren specifically, but you can see it on Armin and Mikasa too. The way they care so much for him, but he feels the need to do everything alone. It’s so lonely.” You thought aloud, cracking your neck to the side.

“You sound like you're speaking from experience.” Hange observed, glancing down to you with an eye raised.

“Not quite. But I know how it is for Levi. I know that, even given the chance to, he would rather die than pass his title on to somebody else. Not for any sort of pride reasons, but because he wouldn’t want that burden to befall another soul. He carries it because he knows it’s necessary to do so, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy.” It was a losing battle, keeping your frustration from bubbling to the surface. On the outside, it just seemed like you were explaining something not many people would have an insight into. On the inside, however…

You wanted to scream.

Despite the morbid display in front of him, hundreds upon hundreds of people having lost their homes due to the recent breach, Levi couldn’t help but listen to your conversation with Hange. To be understood on such a fundamental level was still incredibly new for him, so to hear your voice exactly how he felt a majority of the time…

It solidified his need to stop you from going on this mission. 

“You know him well, huh?” This was a side to Hange you didn’t see very often. The softer, more sentimental side to the ‘mad scientist’ everyone knew. It was part of the reason you liked them so much. 

“And you know why, so you don’t need to act clueless.” Once again you came incredibly close to telling them everything, but you held off. Despite there being a small rift between the two of you at the moment, you knew that was something you needed to discuss with Levi. 

You both climbed the steps into the barracks, hearing Eren, Mikasa and Armin still behind you.

“Hey Eren!” Hange gestured for the teen to join them, and so you took a step back, allowing them to have their conversation without interference. “Once we leave Ermich, we’ll be in Titan territory for sure.”

“Think you’re well enough to ride a horse yet?” 

You’d almost completely forgotten Moblit was on this expedition, considering he didn’t ride with you in the wagon. It was only now did you see Hange relax slightly, having not even noticed they were slightly tense. You half smiled with the realisation. 

And it was now you really missed being on good terms with your partner. Because you knew he would have had something to say about that.

“Yeah, it shouldn't be too much of a problem.” Eren responded, though he sounded exhausted. 

“Saddle up then soldier, there’s one waiting for you on the left lift.” You thought a lot about the shift you and Hange could perform between professional and casual, though you’d never considered how different Moblit was behind closed doors. You guessed, when he didn’t have the pressure of being Hange’s right hand man, he could well and truly relax. 

Though the only visual indication you had was Hange’s widening eyes, you’d already felt Levi’s growing presence behind you. You turned, seeing almost exactly what you predicted, only Nick looked more remorseful than he did in your mind’s eye. You couldn’t tell if that was a good thing or a bad thing. 

“Section Commander, we’re pressed for time!” Moblit called out as Hange jogged back past you.

“Gimme a second will ya?” They called back, before addressing Nick. “So, you seen the light yet by any chance?” 

If you took a shot for every time silence had settled it’s blanket over your group today, you’d likely be in the medical wing. The air was charged as you all waited for Nick’s response, before realising he was going to hold his tongue. And finally, finally, Hange had enough. “Goddamnit! This isn’t some fucked up spiritual test, real human lives are on the line here so make up your mind!” 

And for the first time since he sat his holy ass on that cart, Nick spoke; “Alas, I have no choice. None of us, not myself nor the others who believe are at liberty to divulge the truth.”

Ooo did you want to punch his teeth in. You knuckled itched to be thrust through his jaw.

“Well fat lot of you help you were! Thanks ever so much for keeping us company, it’s been a fucking joy!” It took all of your willpower to, despite your situation, stifle your laughter at their sarcastic rage as they abruptly turned on their heels and started to stomp away.

“I would offer my help if I could, but a duty as great as this one is beyond me. The Order of the Walls abides by the sacred will our faith commands us to obey.” He seemed so solemn you almost pitied the man. Almost.

“Who’s sacred will? You mean like God or something?” Hange questioned with no small degree of snark.

“I can’t answer that.” God fucking damnit! “But… what I can do is provide you with a name. An individual the sacred will and it’s divine wisdom instructed us to monitor.”

You couldn’t tell if he was using way too many words in sentences deliberately, or whether or not that was seriously the title they gave the head of their religion. “Monitor?” You asked aloud, glancing at Hange who nodded in approval. That was clearly their next question.

Nick sighed before continuing on. “It’s a person you know. Someone who enlisted in the Scout Regiment as of this year. A child by the name of–”

“Important message!” The pastor was drowned out by the arrival of a messenger loudly announcing her presence. She didn’t even stop to knock or read the room, just barged straight in with her agenda. But that didn’t stop you or your companions to hear the name he’d just uttered. Christa Lenz.  “I’m with the 104th Cadet Corps. Oh and my name is Sasha Braus!” 

You blinked in surprise, finally turning your head to look at the girl. You still didn’t really know the 104th that well, only really being well acquainted with Eren, for obvious reasons. But you knew of Sasha, and you’d heard her speak before. However the accent you’d previously noticed seemed to have vanished into thin air. Interesting. 

“No way…”

“Wait, who?”

Sasha strode up to Hange, scroll in hand. “This is for you, Section Commander.” Though she was completely ignored, the room’s attention now being completely on the Pastor. 

“You must find her with all haste. She is the key. She may know things we understand, but poorly.” You glanced to Hange, who mirrored your look. Who the fuck was this girl, and more importantly, who was she to Eren, Armin and Mikasa for them to be so floored by this? “And with that, we come to the end of what I am free to share with you. The rest I leave in your capable hands.” 

“Wait, if she’s in the 104th… she’d be on the front lines by now.” You realised, wide eyes flicking between Hange and Nick. 

“Then let’s go! We’re already pressed for time, we don’t have any to lo–” Though you admired Eren for his gung-ho attitude, you admired him less when he didn’t look where he was going and ran straight into poor Sasha who had been waiting incredibly patiently with her scroll, sending her crashing to the ground. 

“Watch where you’re going!” Hange called out, the room’s attention shifting to the poor girl on the floor. 

“Sasha?!”

“Just where did you come from all of a sudden?” Mikasa asked, and you couldn’t help but raise a brow. Had nobody else heard the girl enter? Seriously? 

Once again you wished you could talk to Levi about this, but he’d been silent in your head since the wagon. You kept your sigh internal. 

As if remembering she was here for a purpose and not just to lie on the floor, Sasha gasped, snatching up the parchment that had fallen from her hands and barrelling through her three friends toward Hange. “I was sent to deliver a message to the Commander, who then entrusted me to get this to you Section Commander!” The girl spoke without breathing, and you absently wondered if this was her first time delivering a message. Before realising that yeah, this was most likely her first time delivering a message.

Good for her.

The girl borderline folded in half at the waist as she bowed, holding the scroll out for Hange with both open palms. You stifled a snort, pretending to pick at your lips to hide your smile.

Levi had been borderline completely silent throughout this entire exchange, not having much to say. However, that didn’t mean his eyes didn’t work. He noticed every little thing you did, every little micro-expression you made, whether it be concern, confusion, determination, and now hidden amusement. It warmed him that you could still smile at things, despite everything. 

“Uh, okay then… excellent work!” Hange seemed a little taken aback by the girl’s formal enthusiasm, but swiftly replaced the scroll with a baked potato from the supply crate, and you watched as Sasha all but melted on the spot, before taking one of the largest bites you’d ever seen a human being take out of anything, half wondering if she had Titan genes.

“So, who the hell was Nick talking about?” You turned your attention back to the conversation at hand, asking the three who already seemed to know her what was on everyone else’s minds.

“She was the smallest one in our class,” Eren answered, crouching to secure his boots.

“Golden hair, blue eyes. In fact… she was kinda cute.” You had to double take to make sure you actually heard that correctly. 

“The girl who’s always hanging around Ymir.” Mikasa clarified, and you looked at Hange just as their eyes widened. 

“Wh– Excuse me?” That had triggered something in their brain, but whatever that may have been, you guessed you would find out at a later date. Another quick glance around the room told you nobody else had quite had that same reaction. But that’s normal for Hange. 

You watched them stare in contemplation for a moment, before brushing off whatever they were thinking, clearly filing it away for later. But with everyone standing around, it was starting to irritate you that nothing was being done. “Alright, no point in doing nothing, start loading up supplies onto the lifts.” It was better than nothing, right? And it was nice to know people still regarded you with some kind of authority, as footsteps instantly started echoing off the stone walls. Hange helpfully took a seat on one of those crates, pulling at the string from around the paper handed to them by Sasha. Glancing to a smaller box of food to your left, you carried it under your arm, handing it off to Moblit who nodded at you in thanks. 

“That the background report?” You asked, leaning against their shoulder slightly, skim-reading the first few paragraphs.

“Yeah… yeah it is.”

“Background report?” Eren asked, his head almost comically popping up from behind one of the crates he was trying to lift.

“Ah, yeah. I asked for a background report on Annie Leonhart. It was a lot slower than I was hoping for, what with paper trails being a total catastrophe at the moment, but according to this, there were two other cadets in the 104th who came from the same area. One Reiner Braun and Bertholdt Hoover.” Hange looked up from their paper, surveying the three before them. You, however, turned to Sasha, who’d looked as if she’d seen a ghost.

Too many revelations in one night. Too much information revealed in such a short amount of time. Levi kept his eye on Eren, the boy already having suffered enough. And no, whilst his own comments didn’t help settle the teens nerves, he also knew what was necessary to get through to him. He didn’t want to have to keep jabbing at him, and if this mission wasn’t so crucial, he wouldn’t have to. But with this perhaps being the only shot at sealing the wall they would get, he didn’t regret being harsh on him. Even if it had earned him some dirty looks from you.

Hange continued; “Don’t have many records about them, and any records we do have are unreliable, thanks to the chaos five years ago. However…” Placing the paper down on a makeshift table, Hange pointed to the skeleton of the scouting formation, “We do know in the long range scouting formation, their unit was given false information, among those intentionally misled into thinking Eren was in the right wing.” You felt a migraine coming on, your head starting to pulse ever so slightly, which considering your situation and circumstances, you couldn’t be surprised.

Though, out of instinct, your eyes slid to Levi and his surroundings, just to make sure it wasn’t the bond telling you he was in some kind of danger. Which, taking note of what was next to and behind him, he wasn’t. Just a normal migraine. You didn’t know which was worse at this point. At least you could do something about him being in danger.

–What?– Walls, he still sounded irritated.

–Nothing. Just a headache.– You weren’t about to admit that you were staring at him to make sure he was okay. If you were anything, you were petty. 

Levi already knew about the headache, he could feel it himself. He also knew why you suddenly looked over at him. He hated that his heart softened slightly. He was still livid with you for fuck’s sake. But the way you instantly looked to make sure he wasn’t in harm’s way…

How was he supposed to be okay with you riding to battle without him by your side?

“Wait just a second… that’s the section Annie attacked!” Armin realised, causing Sasha to almost break her neck by whipping her head to look at him. 

“What? What does that mean?” She asked, barely able to keep her voice from shaking. 

“Well… it’s entirely plausible that they told her where they thought Eren was…”

“Huh…? But why would they do that…?” The poor girl asked, her head tilted to one side. You thought she was kind of sweet, in her own way.

Glancing to Hange, who had already put the pieces together before you, they nodded in confirmation to where you’d just ended up with your thoughts. Reiner Braun and Bertholt Hoover were the most possible candidates for the Armoured and Colossal Titans. 

“Where are you going with this Armin? You can’t just accuse–” Eren started what clearly was about to become a heated argument, before he was interrupted by the scientist at your side.

“I totally agree. There’s a difference between coincidence and correlation,” –but didn’t they just confirm your thoughts?– “However, I’m curious to know how the three interacted whilst training. So? What can you tell me?”

As per usual, it was Armin who spoke first. “I knew Reiner and Bertholdt were from the same region as Annie, but honestly? They never seemed that friendly toward each other.”

“Same here,” Eren continued. “You wouldn’t really catch them idly chatting away, and even when they did talk, it was usually curt. It wasn’t like Annie was very social to begin with.” 

You tried to stop your bubbling hatred at the way they were talking about the Female Titan as if she were a normal human girl, and not some twisted psychopath who’d ripped your family to shreds. But it was proving difficult.

“Yeah… at meals, she seemed to prefer eating by herself. I don’t know…” Sasha thought for a moment, before her face lit up and she slapped her own fist, an idea popping into her head. “Oh! I think I've got something that struck me as weird at the time!”

Okay. Sweet? Yes. Any sense of urgency or necessary words in a sentence? No.

“I heard she liked sweets!” 

Seriously? You sighed heavily. 

“I’ve got nothing…” Mikasa began, before her eyes lit up slightly too. You guessed that was her own version of slapping her hand in realisation. “Except maybe that–”

“Guys, what are we doing? These are our friends we’re talking about. Our comrades. Sure, Bertholdt never has a lot to say, but Reiner’s like everyone’s big brother, ya know?”

No, actually, you wouldn’t know. You had a little brother, and you couldn’t remember a single thing about him. Not even his face. Not even his name. 

“You really think he’s capable of lying to us?” Eren finished with a surprising amount of conviction for someone who’d seen first hand the devastation the Female left in her wake. 

“Not only that,” you chimed in. “But how would Leonhart have known to change course? Hange said that unit was fed false intel, so how could she possibly have known where we actually were?” It was a question more to provoke thought than to disprove theories, to get further answers flowing, because how could she have known?

“You both have a point. Reiner fought Annie with everything he had. Almost got himself squeezed to a pulp in the process. And as for–” Armin stopped dead in his tracks, as if remembering something. 

“Armin?” You prompted, causing the blond to raise his head again. 

“He broke free at the last minute… but afterwards, Annie changed her course. In fact, she ran straight toward where you were. I briefly mentioned that you were most likely towards the centre rank but there was no way she could possibly have heard me. She wasn’t in earshot at the time, I’m sure of it.” For someone who’s words carried such conviction, Armin really had to work on his tone sounding unsure of himself. His mind truly was brilliant, as was his memory, it seemed.

“Do you remember if he seemed overly interested in Eren’s location?” You pressed, knowing you were almost to the bottom of how the fuck Leonhart found your squad. And with what looked like dawning realisation, you knew you had your answer.

“Oh no… the only reason I brought it up was because Reiner asked where Eren might be…” You had to fight the instinct to cross the room and envelope the kid in a hug. This wasn’t his fault, he had no way of knowing. You of all people could understand misplaced blame, and you knew he’d be blaming himself. “There’s… something else. Once he broke free, she stood there staring at her palm, possibly–”

“Looking at whatever Reiner had just carved into it with his blades, right?” You felt the familiar fire of battle rise in your gut, now more ready than ever to take on the fucker who lead your friends straight to their deaths. 

Armin nodded in confirmation and with a hint of what you thought was gratitude that he didn’t have to say it out loud. “Maybe… maye Reiner is…”

The room fell stagnant, Levi briefly noticing that you could hear the whispers of the dead if you listened hard enough. He could feel your iron determination in his stomach and it only worsened his pool of dread. Convincing you not to do this might be harder than he initially thought. 

“What is wrong with you all…?” Eren began, looking desperately between his friends. “This is Reiner we’re talking about. The man’s been with us from the beginning. You don’t just–”

“Enough!” Hange interrupted, commanding an impressive amount of the room’s attention with one order. You couldn’t help but admire them briefly. “All of you, listen up. If you cross paths with the pair in question, don’t give them any indication of what we’ve discussed, okay? And under no circumstances are you to bring up Annie Leonhart in their company. Before we can ascertain whether or not they were co-conspirators, we must find, lure and contain them underground. That’s the plan, are we clear?”

The room was a well orchestrated chorus of “Yes, clear.” before once again soldiers started busying themselves around you.

“Right, we have to go. Now!” The sheer, stony determination in Eren’s voice brought a flare of pride to your chest. He’d just found out the entire room was suspecting one of his greatest friends as an enemy of humanity and he was still as ready as ever to gallop off into action. 

“Calm down, Eren.” 

How many times had you heard those words in exactly that tone? You glanced back to see Levi looking between the three, a hand still clasped at the jacket around his shoulders. “I need you all to listen. This is where we separate. Erwin had his reasons for throwing this rag-tag squad together, but right now this is all riding on you.”

You wanted to slap him. As if the kid needed any more fucking pressure.

“Armin, you and Hange are the brains. Use your combined knowledge to cook us up some kind of solution,” He barely waited for a response from the blond before moving on. “Mikasa, I don’t think I’ll ever understand why you’re so attached to this guy in particular but put your skills to good use. Protect him at all costs.”

Your suspicions about her own bond only solidified with her answer. “Sir, I intend to.” You could see how her and Levi were related in some way.

“And you,” he turned to Eren and you saw him flinch slightly. You imagined not many people could make him flinch, having a fighting spirit like his, but you also weren’t too surprised that one of those few people just so happened to be your partner. “Don’t fuck this up.” 

Great. Now you wanted to kick him as well. 

“Check your emotions, Eren,” you clenched your jaw when Levi glanced at you with a look of purpose only you could see. “Learn the meaning of the word restraint. If you let yourself succumb to blind rage all hope is lost. We can’t afford another mistake.” You borderline snarled as you felt each one of his words against your gut. You fucking knew he wasn’t just talking to Eren. You knew he was sending those messages to you too. But you weren’t succumbing to blind rage. For the first time since that day, you were seeing clearly. You knew what you had to do. This wasn’t some passionate, miscalculated display of fury. This was what was necessary in order for yourself, and humanity, to move on. 

“Alright everyone, we move out in five. Everyone, check your gear and any supplies you think you’ll need!” Moblit called out above the slight din. And so you left down the steps to do just that. To find a quiet room to check your gear and engage in possibly the hardest fight in your life so far.

Because there was only one thing more terrifying than a Titan, and he just so happened to be the other half of your soul.

You heard him before you saw him, uneven, thunderous footsteps echoing down the hallway before Levi’s hand slapped the door so hard you felt the tingles of pain in your own palms. Those extra few seconds gave you time to prepare for whatever was about to happen.

He slammed the door behind him, rending not the jumped response he was expecting from you. That did not bode well.

“You’re not going.” 

“You physically cannot stop me.”

“It’s an order.”

You stopped fastening the belts to your thighs, savouring the sharp burn over your stitches. “Then I guess this is insubordination.” You responded firmly, before moving onto the next strap. You’d made up your mind. You were going, and that was final.

“You’re fucking kidding me, right? Were you not listening?”

“Nope. You can’t stop me doing this, ‘Vi. Nothing can stop me from doing this. If this is a step closer to understanding what’s going on, then I have to help them take it.”

“Even if that means risking your life?”

You scoff, not looking up from the straps on your legs. Though you weren’t doing a lot with them, just mindlessly checking them with faux importance. “Levi, every step outside those walls we risk our lives. Why is this any different?”

“Fuck, do I really have to spell it out for you?” 

“You’re asking me to put this relationship above fighting for humanity?” 

“Yes!” He answered before even thinking about it. 

You both fell silent, staring at each other. Because in the end, that’s what this came down to. Choosing between him or humanity. You always thought you would choose him. Fuck the world, fuck the Titans, fuck everything. It could all burn if it meant you could stay with him. 

But that was before Levi gave you a reason to keep fighting. If anything, he only had himself to blame. “You of all people should know that’s not possible.” It was a spiteful, venomous jab of a comment, but there was no room left for sympathy in you right now. “There has to be meaning…” you whispered, and you could feel him stop, the fight draining from his heart.

“There will–”

“No. There won’t. Not if I don’t make sure of it. You told me… you told me we keep fighting to give their deaths meaning. So let me fight. Please, Levi. I have to. Because I don’t know how the fuck I’m supposed to continue if everytime I get hurt I fucking hide. If I can walk, I can fight.

“And I’m walking pretty damn well.”

Levi ran a hand through his hair. He knew this would happen eventually. Knew there would be a time where you would have to run into a battle without him, it was inevitable in the Scouts, and he was only human. 

But not yet. 

Not now. 

He thought you were fucking dead days ago. He thought he’d lost you. Having you close was the only way of knowing you weren’t dead. The bond hadn’t helped that day, what had helped was seeing you alive. 

What if he never saw you alive again?

“I can’t let you do this… If something happened and I wasn’t there–”

“Then you’d be dead too, so it doesn’t matter anyway.”

Silence.

“How can you fucking say that…? How can you say that after what happened…? We don’t even know if that’s how it works and you’re still willing to risk it?” It was a kind of betrayal Levi didn’t think he’d ever felt before. Because this was you choosing to go away. You were choosing to leave him behind and risk the bond, risk him. Because no matter what happened, bond or no bond, if you died, he would die too.

You’d been too caught up in your grief to really think about it. Being the one to almost die, the one unconscious, you hadn’t thought about what it was like for him, hearing your voice fade from his head, feeling your presence disappear from within his chest. You hadn’t thought about it, and your constant companion of guilt thrived because of it.

“Levi…”

“Don’t. That doesn’t matter.”

You tried to reach for him, but he stepped back. “You know, Erwin told me what you said your biggest fear was. Was it a lie?”

Tears pricked your eyes, whether from the all too real wound burning on your thigh from how tight you’d pulled the strap, or the all too real wound burning in your heart, you couldn’t tell. “...No, ‘Vi. It wasn’t a lie.”

When he finally met your gaze, you had to look away. You’d never seen him look so vulnerable, so torn apart. “Then why are you doing this?”

Why were you hurting him so fucking badly?

“You know why.”

Because it would only get worse if you didn’t do this. And you would never be able to forgive yourself. 

–I love you…–

“Then prove it…!” he begged, uncaring about the desperation breaking in his voice. “Stay…”

He knew the second he’d said it, you’d already made up your mind.

“...I can’t.”

His eyes widened slightly, taking a moment to comprehend what you’d just said and the meaning behind it. 

“Then what are we still doing?” 

Your entire world shattered with those words. You had no response, nothing to give him. You’d found yourself at a crossroads, two paths stretching either side. 

“What do you mean…?” you asked, too afraid to raise your voice higher than a whisper. 

Anger had fueled his words. Anger and hurt. He didn’t know how to get you to see, how to get you to back down from this. No amount of begging or pleading could get you to change your mind, so where was the point? His soul screamed at him to change his mind, but he ignored it. Wordlessly, Levi turned and left you there. For the first time in his life, he was walking away from you.

Gritting your teeth against your tears, it took you a second to push down your emotions. If you were really going to do this, you needed all your focus on the mission. Not on Levi. Wiping a stray tear from your cheek with the heel of your palm, you tried to pull on the bond between you, only to find no tension. He’d sealed his mind off from you, and you honestly couldn’t blame him.

You could fix this, right? You could… you could go on the mission, come back and talk about it, right? You had to. You didn’t have a choice. 

With a tug of finality on the last buckle on your thigh, you stood. And with a resolve you didn’t know you could muster right now, you strode down a path, hoping to fuck it was the right one. 

[buckybarnesandmarvel]

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐔𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝

pairings: chris evans x vet!reader

warnings: a whole bunch of fluff

summary: an ordinary day at the shelter turns into something... unexpected

a/n: trust chris to get me out of writers block. also holy fuck that outfit has a fucking chokehold on me ithinkiforgothowtobreathelohmygod

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You weren't told about this. Well... you were told someone was coming in for a collaborative video linked to the dogs... but you definitely weren't expecting this.

Chris-fucking-Evans.

You watched as he walked in, his broad figure hugged by a too-tight shirt, a small chain peeking through the collar, his hair messy under his cap and his blue eyes sparkling through his glasses. A large grin adored his face as he clapped his hands excitedly. You couldn't help discretely looking him up and down and your thoughts took over, momentarily distracting you. You took a deep breath and walked into your treatment room.

You were the resident vet at the shelter, looking after all the dogs that were brought in. You loved your job, being able to hang out with the dogs all day, it was both fun and rewarding. You knew them all at this point and made it your habit to see all of them first thing in the morning and last thing at night.

You had actually adopted your pup, Buzz, from the shelter, a beautiful baby chocolate lab. To be fair, you would've gladly adopted them all if your landlord hadn't forbade you and you had enough money and space. Now you just brought him into work, letting him run around and socialise as you did your thing.

You were doing a checkup on a dalmatian that had been brought in the week before when the camera crew came in, Chris-fucking-Evans tailing along behind them with a large smile. You momentarily paused, your eyes widening slightly before you put on a smile and made more room. You introduced yourself and the dog, Coco and they asked you a couple questions then let you work, filming you doing the checkup. Chris stood to the side watching intently as you worked with the dalmatian, wearing the scrubs and gloves you had leant him. You were glad Coco was calm throughout the checkup, not getting spooked by the amount of people in the room.

You smiled as you deemed everything fine with her and stepped aside as Chris came forward to give her a treat. Your heart almost burst when you saw how soft he was with her, raising his voice a couple octaves higher as he pet her gently. Once your piece was over, the crew left as you got ready to take Coco back to her room. You clipped on the leash as you looked for anything you had maybe left, when you saw Chris standing by your equipment, a smile still on his face.

"Hi?"

"Uh hey! Hey. I'm Chris." He looked at you and stepped forward, extending his hand for a handshake. You took his hand in yours as you smiled shyly.

"Yeah, I know. It's really nice to meet you sir."

Chris gave out a breathy laugh as his cheeks became dusted with a slight pink.

"Please no need for that, just call me Chris."

"Okay... Chris. Was there anything you needed?"

"Nah, I just wanted to say that's it's great y'know... what you do for the dogs here."

Your cheeks heated at the compliment as you smiled wider.

"Thank you! But honestly, it's not much. I love what I do."

"Still, it's exceptional.... hey... i was wondering if you're free after this?"

You froze slightly as your eyes widened a fraction. Your jaw almost dropped as you took in the man in front of you. He couldn't possibly want to go out with you..? You mentally shook the thought off and heat rose to your cheeks as you realise you kept him waiting.

"Y-yep! I'm free."

"Great! What time do you get off?"

"7."

"I'll be waiting..."

He winked and walked out of the room, leaving you slightly flustered and confused, but it a good way. And you couldn't help thinking that was something... unexpected.

*********************************************************************** first time writing in a long time, guys. don't judge lol x

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tagging: @xioriae @chrisevansdaughter @newgirlintheneighborhood @boredum7865 @hulkstacos @dhoruwolfie @scorpiolystoned @smoothdogsgirl @bubblessunshinehoney @youralphawolf72 @littlebluestone @friskyfisher @hallecarey1 @nana1000night

[wintersera]

I just need anything g!p heejin or jinsoul, they have been FILLING my brains lately. I CANT

sub g!p jinsoul x dom f!reader

notes: have been a jinsoul stan since 2018 and i haven’t seen much loona smut in a while so this ask is saur perfect MWAH anon lemme give u a smooch <33

cw: cute desperate subby jinsoul, dom reader, oral (giving), uh dick grinding, teasy reader, g!p idol.

word count: 2.1k

you two knew each other from your time as trainees back in bbc BURN THAT FUCKASS COMPANY. years go by and you see your best friend finally debut under the group loona. what she didn’t know is that you thought of her constantly, months into your friendship you were falling in love with her and then more months go by and you’re thinking lewd thoughts about her. she’d often wear these shorts during practice showing her perfectly thick cock through the material, wanting nothing more than to take it out right here right now and give her the best head she’d ever have. but anyways unfortunately for you, you never made the cut, eventually leaving the company for good and training under a different label trying to make a name for yourself. due to this you weren’t able to contact soulie at all :(( feeling empty and lonely without her presence, and because of that shit ass company she was in, contacting her was nearly impossible and you knew for a fact it would take ages for you to even text her again. you couldn’t bear being away from her at all but since you guys were training, her being a soon to be idol at that time, you chose to never confess your undying feelings for the sake of her debut and the sake of your sanity.

years later you debut under hybes new girlgroup ‘le sserafim’. although you knew the chances of seeing jinsoul again were slim, a small hope in you wishes you’d bump into eachother in the waiting rooms. maybe the world was against you, never seeing her during her own promotions. god, you missed her so much.

and out of nowhere the gods had blessed the world, making a comeback with oec whilst you were inkigayos temporary host. luck favoured you this time. you stood patiently at their waiting room door, heart thumping in your chest. she was in there and you knew it, hearing her silly laugh probably laughing at some stupid thing kim lip was doing or maybe just laughing at her for simply making an angry face. knocking on the door your heart reaches your head, beating louder and louder and louder. focused on calming your heartbeat you don’t realise that she’s right in front of you, a silly grin plastered on her face.

“it’s been so long how have you been y/n?” suddenly embracing you in her arms. you knew she was always affectionate like this, but now it feels way more different. it felt like electricity surging through your body. oh how you missed her touch. “i knew you’d debut some day but in le sserafim? the concept suits you so much you know” a proud smile on her face. “OH also i did watch all your stages if you were wondering, you look really really good”

confessing that she found you attractive shot an arrow through your heart, well in your delusional head you definitely thought that. your one sided crush resurfacing as soon as she compliments you. “OEC 10 minutes till you’re on stage again!!!” her manager beckoning her to go back inside to get her makeup re-applied. “i’ll contact you later- wait, give me your phone real quick” following her orders you scramble for your phone, pulling it out of your pockets. “see you later” leaving with a wink, handing your phone back to you with a brand new number in your contacts.

delusional thinking does not do you well, you’d definitely have to find a way to fuck her. and of course confess your crush- but currently your mind is pretty much focused on pleasuring her first.

after weeks went by contacting her through text and stuff you finally found an available time slot for the both of you, praying to whatever is holy that your schedule doesn’t make a drastic change. she offered for you to go to her dorm since both of the other members had solo schedules that day. although you did miss seeing choerry and kimlip you didn’t mind only just hanging out with her.

you kinda got what she was thinking. inviting you to her dorm, alone. your texts often becoming quite heated from time to time, eventually leading up to you being unbelievably horny at night. you knew she was trying to get with you and you couldn’t care any less. you wanted her badly, even if it was just a fling. you needed jinsoul.

knocking on her door, you space out wondering what you were gonna do. you’re ‘hanging’ out? yeah sure you definitely are… its not like she’s grabbed your wrist and pulled you into the dorm, telling you that she needs you badly. hold on… thats exactly what she’s doing. it’s been so long since she’s seen you and she desperately wants you to fuck her. “this is really out of the blue, but you and me are close and i’ve missed you so much. obviously you can refuse, but right now i want you” heart fluttering at her confession you comply.

hands moving on their own, not even using your words, you grab her jaw making her look directly at you. eye to eye “so you want me to fuck you? is that what you’re implying?” oh poor soulie, always so defenseless when it comes to this. she’s always on the attack so why is she so submissive when she wants you? blood rushing to her face she’s speechless, fidgeting with her hair and shuffling around awkwardly, possibly trying to hide her hard on. it’s on full display there’s no chance of hiding it now my dear. teasing her came easy, you knew how her personality works and you used that to your advantage. “always so big on words but as soon as someone gives you the same energy back you’re flustered? i missed that side of you so much jinsoul”

not even making your way out of the doorway you find yourself at her chest taking off her bra smiling and drooling at the thought of her naked tits. you take things fast with her, sucking on her nipples while you’re pawing at her cock thoroughly inspecting her length. impatient, you take it out of her boxers, the tip hitting her abs creating a dull thud that echoed through you brain. licking your lips, you wonder how she tastes placing a hand on her thigh stabilising yourself as you get down on your knees. complete mess under your touch, resting her back on the front door, grabbing the back of your head and the door knob just in case kimlip and choerry happen to come back early.

sliding yourself down, trailing licks and kisses down from her chest to her stomach and to the base of her dick, pressing your face against her rock hard cock once you made yourself all the way down there. locking eyes with her you kiss the tip of her dick, precum already oozing out. her legs twitching at the sensation of it all, your lips lightly grazing against her skin. hand leaving the door knob to cover her mouth while you start working on her tip. teasing her with kitten licks, smirking at all the lewd noises coming from her mouth and from her slick cock.

“babyyy” whining out in the tiniest voice you’ve heard from her “p-please.. skip the teas-mmm skip the teasing ,y/n take me whole” begging and pouting her lips at you. although you’d go crazy on her, the thought of having her beg whilst squirming was so delicious to you.

“not just yet, i’m not done with you” standing up you drag her to the unoccupied couch commanding her to lay down, face up. taking off the black skirt you were wearing ,worn specifically for her to ogle at you whilst you bend down, letting it fall to your ankles followed by your panties which were also tossed aside. coming over to her, straddling her hips as you tease her with the view. “watch this” just hovering above her dick, you slowly hike up your shirt exposing your not so covering bra. placing the fabric in between your mouth so that it wouldn’t fall down, you take her hand, rubbing circles with your thumb to get her to relax. “want to touch?” voice low and raspy, blessing her ears.

face lighting up, her eyes widen. she’s so excited about your tits that’s so cute what the hell. “y-yeah…” stammering cutely as her hands shake, reaching for your bra. “take it off please?” asking so sweetly, you do so. eyes glued onto the way your tits fall out as the bra comes off of you. “so pretty”

as much as you wanted to pounce on her dick right now, you wanted to tease her even more. the cute dumb look on her face was so precious to you that you couldn’t take your eyes away from her every single little reaction. watching as you fondle your own breasts right in front of her you notice that her dick is standing straight up. god you want it in you so bad. but not yet. teasingly touching her stomach drawing shapes on her skin ,almost but not really, touching the base of her cock. “pleeeasee, y/n i’m so desperate for you come onnn” yet again whining as you touch her ever so lightly. “hurrryyy, i need you so bad” raising her hips high into the air trying to reach the entrance of your cunt.

“ah- ah ah” clicking your tongue at her “be patient or else you won’t get your reward” tears pricking her eyes she frowns in defeat. she’s so close but sooo far away.

holding her dick suddenly makes her whole body twitch, unintentionally making her moan your name. pressing her dick flat against her stomach, you finally press your drenched cunt against her shaft. not what shes craving but it feels good nonetheless. starting out slowly you begin to grind on her cock, feeling the bumpy veins hit your clit perfectly. using both of your hands you place them against her stomach lightly, holding her gently so that you can control your grinding.

“ahhh y/n~ keep doing that” enjoying the way your tits bounce up and down, jinsoul already feels like she’s going to cum. holding your hips helping you grind harder on her, she lets out a low groan “hnnnmg, shitt- i love you, y/n i love you so much” confessing her love for you as she cums, legs twitching as her back lifts from the couch, tightening her grip on your hips, cum splurting all over her stomach. feeling generous you lean down licking all the cum off of her abs, humming at the sweet taste. after her orgasm she’d notice that you still haven’t came. wanting you to feel good as well she lifts you up by the hips and places her tip at your entrance. “sit down… please” with a soft voice commanding you on her cock. wetness helping you, you slide herself inside your cunt, almost hitting your cervix because she’s just that big. long dragged out moans spilling from your mouth as she adjusts herself comfortably inside of you “fuck- you’re really really tight, i don't think i can move much”

“not unless i do this” flashing her a sly smile, you rock your hips back and forth slowly. feeling yourself loosen up, you begin to ride her harder bouncing and smashing yourself into her thick cock. “soulie, you’re- you’re so big aahh.. your cock feels s-so good” no shame in moaning you let yourself go wild, beginning to go crazy on her cock, you scream out her name, loving the feeling of her big dick filling your pussy up. hands on her shoulders you lean into her, arching your back so that you can fuck yourself better. missing her touch you grab her arms wrapping around your waist as you let her fuck you fiercely “mmmm.. jinsoulll, i missed your touch so- fuck.. i missed y-your touch so much ah-“ now chasing your high it was your turn to confess as you reach your orgasm “jinsoul- oh my god, i-i love you so mu- fuck, i love you so so much, gonna cum, i’m cumming ahh..” vision turning blurry, you believe your seeing stars. gripping onto her shoulders like she’s going to leave you once more, you let your climax course through your system, making you lose all sense of being. yes it was that good. helping you ride out your high, she cums in you a few seconds later, feeling your pussy tighten around her dick sent her body into pure bliss, letting out guttural moans as she spews her hot cum inside of you.

feeling the effects of fatigue, you collapse into her arms. embracing you once more you smile at her sweetness. “wrong moment.. but can you be my girlfriend?”

giggling at her silliness you can’t help but kiss her on the lips “i was going to ask you the same thing you silly”

[deadgirlwalking91]

new #guitarspear one-shot in collab with @branded-rose 'drunk minds speak sober thoughts' 🎸 🗡️

Summary

Adam’s eyes widened as they darted back to the bar. Sure enough, the mystery exorcist that Vaggie had been talking to was now fully facing the stage, eyes frantically peering through the crowd and - oh, holy shit.

Lute held in her hand the universal vessel of a good time: a red, plastic party cup.

“No fucking way,” he muttered, grinning maniacally.

Lute didn’t drink. At least, not outside the comfort of her own home to the best of his knowledge. Now, this he had to see.

~~~

At the post-Extermination Day party, Lute decides she's had enough of watching Adam get drunk and make a fool of himself year after year while she watches on, sober as a judge. She decides it's her turn to have a little fun of her own, but soon realises that her drunken antics come with their own set of consequences that can't be ignored. OR;

Lute gets drunk, Adam tries to be responsible and all Vaggie wants to do is be a good friend.

Author's Notes

Diiiiiiiid somebody say collab??? Because when branded-rose and I connected over our mutual love for Adam and Lute, we sure as hell did!

We had plans to write a 'short' one-shot, which ended up kiiiiiinda escalating... big time. And we couldn't be more excited to share it with you all! Speaking of sharing, branded-rose created some beautiful art to accompany our story, which can be found here. Before you scroll down, CLICK THAT LINK and give her ALL the love for her work! Also, Lute looks SO pretty!

Only warning is that this is long (18,000+ words), and we haven't split it up purely because it was only ever meant to be a one-shot and we want to keep it that way.

To my wonderful co-author: writing this with you has been the MOST FUN. Internet friends freaking RULE. Thank you <3

So buckle up, buttercups and enjoy! ***

The music was loud. The people around her were loud. Everything was LOUD. 

Lute could almost hear herself think. Almost. 

Then again, she was never really big on the Victory concerts.

The last thing she wanted to do after an extermination was watch Adam and the other girls get drunk and toss themselves at each other. Toss themselves at him.

Normally, she’d have no issue competing with the other girls. However, she wouldn’t when they were drunk out of their minds. That was no competition. 

Every year, they went through this. Every year, she reluctantly took part and never drank anything. 

Why would she? There was no point.

Well, usually, there was no point. Today though? She was starting to have second thoughts. Especially as she caught their boss flirting with several of the exorcists on the stage.

Like he did every year. 

“You actually gonna drink?” Vaggie walked up, nodding to the plastic cup in her sworn sister’s hand.

Lute puffed her cheeks, drumming her fingers against the cup in question.

“Just… wine.” She glanced down at the liquid, her already furrowed brows dropping lower. 

Vaggie eyed the red cup skeptically. “You, uh… you’re sure?”

Lute shot Vaggie a look, bringing the cup to her lips and taking a large sip to prove a point.

She held the liquid in her mouth for a second, debating if she wanted to actually swallow before stubbornness won out.

It was just one glass of wine.

Vaggie raised a brow, unconvinced. Sure, it wasn’t unlike Lute to have a glass here and there in the comfort of her own home. But this wasn’t her own home. This was a loud party. 

One their maniac of a boss was throwing.

Normally, Lute would stand in a corner and glare at anyone and EVERYONE before she ushered their idiot commander home for the night.

Not something she would personally do herself but who was she to judge?

“You’re sure?” Vaggie sighed and took a sip from her own cup, turning to face the party.

Lute’s eyes scanned the crowd, her jaw clenching as she realized she’d lost sight of Adam.

He was probably off doing body shots again. Great.

She knocked the rest of her drink back, something that very clearly caught Vaggie off guard.

Lute ignored the wide-eyed expression her sworn sister shot her, turning back to the bar and getting herself more wine.

“Ooookay- this isn’t… typical of you.” Vaggie moved to stand next to her, concern growing.

Lute ignored her again.

“Especially not after an ex-” She cut herself off when Lute once more knocked the drink back, downing the wine in the plastic cup like it was a shot glass.

“-termination…” Vaggie had no words.

She continued to stare at her comrade with a mixture of concern and pure horror as she watched her slam yet another glass of wine after that.

If it was ANYONE else she might not have cared. Because this was Lute? She had to have some level of concern.

It wasn’t as if the lieutenant was… the most easy going of exorcists. She had VERY strict standards that she held herself to.

And she was also borderline INSANE.

Lute had downed a solid five drinks by that point, quickly and without mercy.

Her cheeks started to flush gold, the flashing lights and pounding music not nearly as intrusive as they had been moments ago.

She very briefly caught sight of Adam near the stage as she turned around, having a great time with Layla. 

That bitch.

She grit her teeth, suddenly remembering why it was exactly she had felt compelled to drink in the first place.

Turning back to the bar, she requested something harder, much to Vaggie’s surprise.

Adam fucking loved the annual Victory concert. The babes. The booze. The beats. It didn’t matter which direction he looked, he was surrounded by the result of another successful Extermination Day.

He’d managed a new personal best this year, too. Four hundred and eleven.

Four hundred and eleven bottles of hard liquor that were expertly raided from the degenerate entertainment venues of Hell by his specialist task-force of exorcists.

Personally assigned by the first man himself, their sole job during the last hour of Extermination Day was to storm the copious bars and clubs that lurked in the shadiest districts of the Pride Ring and confiscate the alcohol that lined the top shelves of such fine establishments.

Adam’s definition of confiscate, however, was to transport the goods back up to Heaven for their yearly balls-to-the-wall bender where everyone would trade in their usual wine for the hard stuff they could only get their hands on at the post-extermination rager.

Wine glasses were a rare sight at the event, the partygoers opting instead for red party cups or plastic shot glasses, filled with whatever they’d managed to pilfer from Hell that year. Adam’s drink of choice were body shots - the type of liquor unimportant - off whichever exorcist volunteered to be his own personal bar counter.

The best part? Everybody was one hundred and ten percent down with the party. Inhibitions, dignity and modesty were left at the door by all before entering, almost like they were being checked into some sort of moral cloakroom.

Once the celebrations eventually wrapped up the deviant revelers would emerge, spend the following days nursing wicked hangovers and then return to their usual heavenly selves, ready to repeat it all the next year.

Well, almost everybody did, anyway. Everybody except Lute.

Adam peered out into the crowd, squinting through the bright lights as he tried to locate his lieutenant. She wasn’t leaning against the back wall, arms crossed, scowling at everybody else dabbling in their one night of debauchery. She certainly wasn’t on the dance floor - the current song playing was an apparently popular R&B tune from Earth where the only appropriate dance move was to grind rhythmically against another person’s hips.

Lute did not grind.

At least, not to his knowledge.

His eyes flickered over to the bar, where Vaggie was standing next to another exorcist who’s side profile he couldn’t quite make out - though whoever it was, they were taking a damn long time to drink from their cup. He could have smashed three shots by now. 

Speaking of…

He flagged down Layla, one of his favorite angels to party with post-extermination. A brunette mega-babe, she made everybody’s heads turn whenever she strolled down the promenade. 

She flashed him a million-dollar smile and sashayed her way over. 

They had an annual tradition that was yet to be honored this year, something they’d dubbed the ‘Victory Shot’.

Layla loved body shots almost as much as Adam did. Possibly more. Sometimes she did them off the other exorcists, other times she was the body. Rarely was she a spectator.

Layla was the epitome of a good time.

“The usual, sir?” She grinned, expertly balancing a clear shot, salt shaker and lime wedge in one hand, other resting on her cocked hip . He returned the smile, placing a hand on her waist as he leant in to answer her.

“You know it, sugartits.” 

Layla’s laugh rang in his ears as she nestled the shot glass between her cleavage, sprinkled salt over the top of one of her tits and balanced the lime wedge on the other.

“Here’s to another killer year!” she cheered, shaking her hair off her shoulders and sticking her chest out in Adam’s direction. 

“Fuck yeah, babe!” Adam tightened his grip around her waist and licked the salt clean off her skin. Wasting no time, he wrapped his mouth around the rim of the glass and lifted it out from between her breasts, tilting his head back so the liquid slid down his throat in one smooth motion. He removed the glass from his lips and promptly replaced it with the lime wedge, sucking hard until no more juice remained and the burn from his throat eased. Layla held her hand out for a high-five, which he returned eagerly.

“Ahh, good shit. Thanks babe.” He crooked an elbow around her neck and pressed a brief kiss to the side of her head affectionately before strolling towards the wings of the stage, remembering what he was doing before he got distracted.

“Hey, you haven’t seen Lute around have you? Or has she bitched out already?” he yelled back to Layla over the pounding music.She laughed again and pointed to where Adam had seen Vaggie standing moments earlier.

“Check the bar, she’s in for a good night I think.” 

Adam’s eyes widened as they darted back to the bar. Sure enough, the mystery exorcist that Vaggie had been talking to was now fully facing the stage, eyes frantically peering through the crowd and - oh, holy shit. Layla wasn’t kidding.

Lute held in her hand the universal vessel of a good time: a red, plastic party cup.

“No fucking way,” he muttered, grinning maniacally.

Lute didn’t drink. At least, not outside the comfort of her own home to the best of his knowledge. Now, this he had to see.

“I… don’t know if this is-“ Vaggie began, attempting to dissuade her sworn sister from making a big mistake. 

Lute waved her hand in front of the other’s face, cutting her off as she raised the cup to her lips.

“How I choose to party shouldn’t be your fucking problem.” She hissed, raising the drink to her lips and attempting to knock it back.

She could not knock it back, instead spitting it out onto the floor in front of her.

“The fuck! That tastes like paint stripper!!!!”

“Diiiiiiiiiid somebody say stripper?” Adam grinned, leaning sloppily against the bar counter.

“What are you doing to my lieutenant, Vagasaurous? If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, if you’re gonna corrupt her with your pussy-loving powers, call me-“

“Oh, go fuck a cheese grater, would you?” Vaggie rolled her eyes and leaned towards Lute so Adam couldn’t hear. “Need me to stick around? He seems like he’ll be especially painful tonight.”

“I heard that!” Adam protested, leaning over to check the contents of Lute’s cup. “What are you drinking, Dangertits? Not water again?” He plucked it out of her hand and took a sip.

Ooooh. That burned. And not the good kind of burn. Whoever swiped that from one of Hell’s bars missed the memo where he specified top shelf booze only. They’d be running laps on Monday as punishment once he found the exorcist responsible for bringing petrol back up to Heaven.

“Nope. Can confirm that’s not water.” He shuddered and set the cup on the bar.

“Finally having a drink, Lute? Rude of you not to ask me to pop your cherry."

Lute narrowed her eyes at him. “Sir, we have had a drink together before.”

“Not like this, Lutey!” He threw his arms around both girls’ shoulders and squeezed them tightly.

“This is gonna be legend-fucking-dary!”

Lute froze, her arms pinned firmly to her sides.

“Ugh, gross. Nope. Not happening.” Vaggie twisted out of his grip, spilling most of her drink on herself in the process.

“Oh, chillax, Vag. Look, I’ll pour you both a drink, here.” Adam released Lute from his death grip, who’s face had turned the exact same shade of gold as the stage lights. He vaulted the bar counter, stumbling slightly upon his landing.

The bartender gave him a filthy look. Adam didn’t care. It wasn’t like the bartender had organized the booze. He leered at them until they skulked off to serve another exorcist.

“Right - what have we got here that’s virgin-friendly?” He eyed a half-full bottle of vodka. Perfect.

Not too hard for a baby drinker like Lute, but enough to help her relax. Loosen her up a bit. Maybe even enough for a cheeky dance later, if he was lucky.

Vaggie turned away from Adam and the bar, once more attempting to offer Lute an out. She suspected though, the lieutenant wasn’t going to take it.

“You can still back out and call it a night. No one is gonna think any less of you if you bail early.”

Lute scoffed at the notion that she’d need to back out. She shot Vaggie a look.

“You’re overreacting.” She went to raise her abandoned cup to her mouth, only to think better of it when she remembered the taste, and the fact that Adam had drank from it.

Vaggie’s eyebrow twitched.

”I’m overreacting? Lute, you’ve just knocked back five glasses of wine in under ten minutes and now our sleazy boss is here to keep you company. REAAAALLY don’t think I’m overreacting here.”

“Well you are.” Lute slammed her hand down on the counter.

Vaggie eyed the hand Lute had slammed on the counter, sighing exasperated. She pinched the bridge of her nose, weighing out whether or not this whole argument was worth her life.

On one hand, she hated the thought of just leaving Lute in the gross incapable wandering hands of their boss.

On the other… She didn’t feel like it was necessarily worth it lingering either. Especially when Lute was the first person to kiss up to said gross incapable boss.

Didn’t mean she deserved to get taken advantage of. Or WORSE. She’d get drunk and start punching people.

Then all the exorcists would be put through it Monday morning.

“Fine, you wanna drink yourself silly for whatever reason? Do it. But you know where to find me if you need me.” Vaggie turned away from the bar, making her way out into the crowd to try and enjoy herself as best she could the remainder of the night.

Lute hissed as she watched Vaggie go, her eyes narrowing. 

How DARE her. The audacity.

She could have a good time! She could cut loose! …If she wanted to.

She yelped, startled at a loud thud on the counter behind her. She whirled around, saluting and standing at attention quickly when her eyes glimpsed Adam’s robes.

“SIR!”

“Geez, at ease, Lute!” Adam laughed, sliding a new red cup towards her.

“What’s this I hear about you slamming back ten glasses of wine in less than ten minutes? What’s happened to Sergeant Sober?”

Lute lowered her hand and, ignoring Adam’s question, grabbed the cup and inspected the liquid inside. It was clear and bubbly, with a thin slice of lime floating on top of the ice.

“What’s this?”

“Vodka, soda and lime. Not something I’d drink myself, but considering you don-“ Adam’s eyes widened as she lifted the cup to her lips and began drinking.

And she didn’t stop until she’d downed the whole damn thing.

“More.”

Adam ran his hand through his hair. Fuck. She was really doing this. Then again, it was Lute. She was a go hard or go home kind of gal. Scratch that - she was just the type to go hard.

There was no going home with her.

Unless…

There was a part of him that wanted her to let loose. The selfish part of him wanted Lute to drink herself silly with him, keep up with him drink-for-drink, get on the dance floor and grind until…

“I said more, Sir.”

Adam shook his head and tossed all thoughts of grinding with Lute aside as she threw her empty cup at him.

“Shit, alright, calm down. Hey - where did Vaggie go?”

Lute’s head whipped around towards the crowd. While she wasn’t looking, Adam quickly refilled her cup with water and plonked it in front of her. She turned back and without looking, gulped down the drink.

She was lost in her thoughts, visibly perturbed at Adam’s inquiries to where Vaggie went.

Why did he care if Vaggie was there anyway? Probably so he could fucking goad them into making out or something. As if they were that close anymore anyway- 

She paused, pulling the cup away from her lips and looking at it, then looking at Adam incredulously.

It was distinctly not the same drink he’d offered her before. It was watered down. 

Wait. It was water.

“Sir. This isn’t what you gave me last time.”

Adam raised his brows, scratching the stubble on his jaw as he tried to play dumb.

“What? It’s not?” He grabbed the cup from her, pretending to investigate the contents.

“SURE it is! You questioning my judgment?”

Lute blinked as he handed the cup back. “I would never-“

“GREAT!” Adam launched himself back over the bar, arm wrapping around his lieutenant’s shoulders as he looked out on the party.

Lute felt her face heat up once again. Although, she was BLAMING the alcohol. Yes! It was the alcohol’s fault. Not… proximity.

She cleared her throat, the hint of a small smile touching the corners of her mouth.

“Look at what we did, Lute.” Adam squeezed Lute’s shoulders and planted a kiss on the top of her head, pride radiating through his body.

He gestured with his other hand to the crowd of dancing angels in front of him.

“Everyone is here having a kick-ass time because of what we’ve built. You and me. So, if you’re really serious about celebrating… then let’s get fucked up!” He let go of Lute’s shoulder and turned to the bartender, grinning.

“Two tequila shots, thanks.”

“Salt and lime?”

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” Adam looked over at his lieutenant, who had joined him at the bar and was tightly gripping the edge of the counter. “Lute, you all good?”

She looked at him, wide-eyed. “Of course. Why do you ask, Sir?”

“You look like you’re trying to flip the bar counter. Are you trying to start a riot?”

“Oh.” She looked down at her hands and let go. “I’m fine.”

Ah. There was some of that defiance he knew and loved.

“I’m an adult, I know what I’m doing.” She frowned and glared up at him.

Adam grinned down at her, accepting the shot glasses from the bartender. “There’s my girl. Anyway, you ever done one of these before?”

Lute shook her head. “No, Sir.”

“Alright, repeat after me. Lick,” He held the saltshaker up. 

“Shoot,” he pointed to the shot glass.

“And suck.” He lifted the small plate of lime wedges before setting it back down on the bar counter.

“Lick, shoot, suck.” Lute echoed, the faint smile returning to her face again, accompanied by a slight blush.

Shit, why did that make his head spin?. He was definitely feeling buzzed.

“Damn, Lutie-cutie, I love it when you talk dirty.” His remark was met with a quick jab in the ribs. “Ow! Alright, alright. You ready? Watch me first.” He grabbed her wrist and sprinkled salt over it.

Without warning, he licked the salt off her bare skin, threw back the shot and grabbed a lime wedge, popping it in his mouth.

“Uhh… Sir?” Lute looked down at her wrist, nose wrinkling in confusion.

“Oh yeah, you can’t go wrong with one of these. Your turn. I’ll even get the lime ready for you so you don’t have to worry.” Grabbing the salt shaker again, he shook it over his own wrist this time. He then handed Lute the shot and picked up the lime slice. Grinning, he held his wrist out to her. “Ready, babe?”

Lute’s eyes darted between the shot, Adam’s face, and the salt on his wrist. She was trying to make peace with the agreement she’d made. An understanding that she would need to lick salt off of his wrist was something she was finding incredibly hard to wrap her mind around.

There was a level of forbidden about the concept of her consuming anything off of her boss’ body. One that she couldn’t tell made it more enticing or more shameful.

Maybe both?

Even still… she wasn’t about to say no.

Lick, shoot, suck. Lick, shoot, suck. Lick, shoot suck.

That was all she needed to do. Three simple things.

The logistics of which were all getting scrambled in her mind. What was the order?

LICK. SHOOT. SUCK.

EASY.

Her heart pounded against her sternum, her body frozen for a half a second as she considered and reconsidered the ramifications of the actions she was about to take.

SCREW RAMIFICATIONS. Adam was watching her expectantly. Waiting expectantly.

She grabbed Adam’s hand and pulled it to her mouth just as she heard him start to ask a question. She licked up the salt, tossing Adam’s arm away as she whirled to grab the shot and knock it back.

Her eyes widened and she recoiled as the taste hit her, pushing away from the counter and the lime in Adam’s hand.

Fuck!

She held the liquid- no, poison- in her mouth for a half a second as she tried to consider whether or not to swallow or spit it out.

She was vaguely aware of Adam gesturing with his hands in her direction. Though, the obnoxious music muffled whatever he was exclaiming in the moment.

SHOOT THE LIME.

Lute forced herself to swallow, spinning around and nearly crashing into Adam. She frantically grabbed his other wrist, trying to wrestle the lime free of his grip.

“Shit - Lute - what are you doing?” Adam laughed, the smaller angel trying to pry each individual finger off the lime wedge in his hand. “Don’t fuck around with it, just shove it in your mouth!” He let go of the fruit and watched her desperately suck the wedge, her jaw working overtime to extract every last drop of juice from the lime.

He couldn’t deny it was kinda hot. 

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Better?” She nodded and took the wedge from her lips, depositing it onto the plate Adam had taken it off. “Well,” he cleared his throat, starting to feel the effect of the shot he’d taken only minutes earlier. “That… did not go as I had expected.”

“Why?” Lute frowned. “Did I do something wrong? Should we do another one?” Her eyes darted frantically towards the bar.

“Yeah, that’s gonna be a giant nope from me, babe.” Adam shook his head fervently and stepped between Lute and the bar.

One tequila shot down and she was already trying to wrestle him. If she had another she might try and… Well. He wouldn’t mind that. Especially considering she’d finally ditched the chain mail that usually covered her neck and collarbone, leaving them temptingly bare.

“I could handle another one. You don’t think I could?” She put her hands on her hips and glared up at him.

“Lute, if there is anybody who I think could do it, it’s you. All I’m saying is, let’s take a break. We can have another one later.”

Lute said nothing.

“Luteyyyyy.” He teased, moving closer to her, not stopping until their bodies were virtually touching. 

“Come on.” He snaked an arm around her waist and bent down to whisper in her ear. He felt her body immediately tense, the heat rising in her cheeks practically radiating off her.

“If you take a break for a little while, you can come back and do another one later. Maybe if you’re lucky, I’ll let you do it off my chest.” He heard her breath hitch in her throat and without even looking at her he knew her face was several shades brighter than the sun itself.

He grinned to himself and gave her waist a little squeeze. She was stupidly cute when she got herself all flustered and being under the influence of alcohol just seemed to amplify it.

“Right, hold tight babe. After all these years, it’s finally happening. You and me, we’re hitting the dance floor!” In one swift motion, he hoisted her up over his shoulder and strode out to the packed crowd, Lute’s protests drowned out by the thumping music.

Lute propped herself up with her arms, doing her best to wriggle off of his shoulder as she was unwillingly carried to the dance floor.

Normally, she might’ve protested more. But the alcohol, admittedly, was beginning to get to her, if not entirely overwhelm her.

Her self-restraint was reasonably inhibited at the very least. At the most? She was pleasantly numb. And for once… that was nice? 

She didn’t have to worry about the stack of paperwork or what the seraphim might say if they heard about this party in the morning.

She could just… exist and do what she wanted.

In other words, she found herself giddy, a small giggle escaping her lips as she was carried on.

“Sir. I… can’t dance.” Or at least she’d never danced before to her knowledge. Never mind whatever… dancing was being done in that moment.

She felt the world spin as she felt Adam whip her off his shoulder, nearly stumbling backwards as she landed unsteadily on her feet. Adam caught her hand, pulling her back into him.

“What? That’s fucking ridiculous. ANYONE and their mother can dance if they want to.” He placed his other hand on her waist to steady her.

She felt her face heat up again, very aware of the close proximity of their bodies.

She didn’t pull back though.

“… I’ll follow you.”

Adam pulled a smirk, bringing his hand up to tap near her ear.

“Just listen to the music. Move with the beat!” He started sliding side to side, his movements getting gradually more overt the longer the song carried on.

She watched him, trying to copy, her brows furrowed in concentration. Every so often her eyes would flick to his face, looking for reassurance that she was doing it right.

She apparently was not, given he chuckled and shook his head. Or she assumed he chuckled at least. She could barely hear him over the music.

“Dangertits! You need to LOOSEN. UP. Here-“ He moved to stand behind her, his hands finding her hips and applying just enough pressure for her to get the hint that she needed to move.

She stiffened briefly as she felt his chin near her ear, his hot breath on her neck.

“Move WITH me, not against me. Come on you’re stiff as a board.” He moved his hand up the tiniest bit, cackling as her wings tried to flap involuntarily but were kept immobile by his proximity.

In her defense she wasn’t really listening to the music. She couldn’t really hear over the roaring of her heart in her ears.

Was she breathing? 

Air might be good.

She took a very loud, deep breath. 

“Sorry S-IR!” She was cut off as Adam took her hand and spun her very quickly, only to immediately snap her back towards him before she had any time to process what was going on.

“There we go! Get those feet going!”

A laugh erupted from Lute’s lips as she was spun around again.

“Sir!”

Adam snickered, his arms coming around to trap her against him as her momentum carried them close once more. 

His mouth found her ear so that she could hear him. 

“Did I just hear the most badass bitch in the army laugh? No blood? No guts? Just laugh on the dance floor?”

Lute felt his arms hold her firmly in place and without thinking she lifted her feet off the floor to test just how tight his hold was. Like a child might with their parent. 

It was something she would’ve NEVER tried if she was sober.

Then again… if she was sober there was no way in heaven OR hell she’d allow him to be this close to her in a public space.

She felt her face heat up again as his stubble grazed against her cheek, her heart rocketing away at the contact and pressure.

She realized she hadn’t answered his question, her toes tapping back on the floor as she shook her head.

“I can laugh at things that aren’t death!” She argued, another smaller giggle erupting as Adam all but tossed her away from him again.

“I’ve certainly never seen it before.” He argued, drawing her back into his chest, this time they were facing each other though.

Lute paused, her eyes wide as she looked up at her commanding officer.

She wasn’t breathing again. 

LUNGS WORK.

The look on Lute’s face as she gazed up at him was certainly something Adam had never seen before, either.

Really, there had been a lot of firsts during this year’s Victory concert: 

It was the first time Lute had gone without her armor that she never left home without.  

It was the first time Lute decided to drink at the annual party.   

It was the first time Lute danced.  

And, unless he was reading the situation horribly wrong, Adam was about ninety-nine percent certain that this would be the moment he’d kiss Lute for the first time. 

And it was all he could think about as he stared intensely back at her.

Even in the dimly lit room, he could see her usually bright eyes had melted into golden pools of honey, a depth to them that kept dragging him in. There was no escape, no chance of looking away, even if he wanted to.

She was all he could focus on.  

What else could he possibly think about, besides the way she was looking up at him? Wide-eyed, lips slightly parted, that ridiculously cute blush spreading across her cheeks again.

He was sure she’d stopped breathing by the way he’d felt her chest swell against his body as she inhaled, the exhale never coming as her breath hitched in her throat. Her body, usually so incredibly tense and rigid, was soft and relaxed as he held her tightly against his front. 

She was practically melting into him.  

Not that he could judge her in the slightest. He’d melt into himself too, if it were humanly possible.

Could she feel how clammy his hand was? Their fingers intertwined, his thumb now absentmindedly tracing small circles onto the back of her hand.

Did she feel like they were the only two angels in the room, too? Or was that the tequila talking?  

“Hey, Lute?” He murmured, leaning in closer, his forehead basically touching hers. He heard a barely audible gasp escape her lips, her chest pressing harder into his as she drew her breath in.

“Can I – ouch!”  

The moment was shattered as Lute’s forehead was suddenly knocked into his, the impact of the bump causing him to see stars.

He blinked once, twice, three times, trying to rid himself of the golden flecks dancing across his line of vision.  

Fucking hell, he had been so close! Whoever that little cockblocker was, he was going to tear them a new asshole as soon as he could see properly again.  

“Fucking watch where you’re dancing, bitch!”  

Or not. It seemed that Lute – sweet, blushing, breathless Lute was going to do it for him.

In a single instant Lute’s entire demeanor shifted. The jolt that had come from behind the catalyst to her rage.

She had been AT PEACE. She had been dare she say… happy? Relaxed even? It was as if no one else was with them, no one else mattered to Adam except her.

It felt like SHE was the center of someone’s world. And the elation that came with it was indescribable.

Which was exactly why the abrupt shift had been intense and irreparable.

She pulled away from Adam, whirling around to face the unlucky exorcist who had been stupid enough to bump into them.

Logic would dictate they were all drunk, it was a public place, they were bound to collide with others.

Lute did not have logic on her side anymore.

The tequila and wine had effectively told logic to take a hike. Which was… not great considering she was a tiny bit unhinged in the best of times.

What was worse, is the exorcist who had bumped into them was fucking Layla.

Lute grit her teeth, shoving Layla with as much strength as she could muster, sending the girl flying into the crowd, knocking at least three other girls down like they were bowling pins.

Her wings twitched, half-spreading in a threat.

“Dance somewhere else!”

Vaggie, who had been passively keeping an eye on her more uptight sister from the other side of the room, scrambled over, pushing through the crowd to stop… whatever it is this was.

She was pretty sure it was gonna be a murder though if she didn’t step in.

No way Adam was going to be any help.

In fact, he’d probably egg it on. 

She jumped in front of Lute, arms stopping her from moving any further towards poor Layla.

“Woah! Woah. Uh- how about we step out and fucking cool DOWN? This isn’t the place to pick fights.”

Lute shot Vaggie a look that said she wanted to maim her in some gruesome and horrible way. 

The look was ignored.

“Get. Your hands off of me.” Lute hissed, pulling back away from Vaggie, stumbling into Adam as she did so.

“Ugh - shit! Hey, Lutey,” Adam caught her around the waist with one hand before she fell, bringing the other up over her front, trapping her arms by her side so she couldn’t use them to hurt anybody.

Or him, for that matter.

“Wanna go grab some water and just chillax outside for a sec?” Selfishly, he also wouldn’t mind trying to recreate what had almost happened earlier, without the risk of another interruption.  

She struggled against him, thrashing violently to escape his hold on her, elbows bending and colliding with his stomach, attempting to throw him off her.

“Let – me – go!”  

Vaggie glared at Adam. 

“She needs to go home. She’s going to end up butchering somebody in a minute.” She narrowed her eyes further at Adam and put her hands on her hips. “This is all your fault.”  

“My fault?!” Adam cried incredulously, wincing slightly as Lute stomped down on his foot. “I didn’t do anything! You’re the one who let her drink eighteen glasses of wine before I got to her!”  

“And you thought tequila, of all things, would be a good way to wash all that down?”  

If Vaggie wasn’t careful, he was going to put her on fucking toilet cleaning duty come Monday morning. What was it with these warrior chicks and their smartass mouths?! If it wasn’t Lute sassing him, it was this one getting her panties in a twist about… well, everything.  

“Look,” he started angrily, shifting Lute to the side as she started kicking backwards, clearly hoping to make contact where she knew it would hurt. Bitch. “I don’t fucking care how she got to this point, scissor sister. I just need to get her home, to bed.”  

Vaggie balled her hands into fists. “I saw you two before Layla bumped into Lute. There’s no fucking way in Hell I’m letting you take her anywhere. Alone.”  

“Why, you wanna join in?” Adam taunted, squeezing Lute harder. He felt her body soften with the pressure, and he gently rubbed the shoulder he was holding, a silent ‘thank you’ for finally calming down. “If that’s the case, all you have to do is ask.”

Vaggie’s eyebrow twitched at the very notion that Adam would invite her back with them. Which only FURTHER sealed in her mind that she could not and WOULD NOT let her sworn sister, be it Lute or anyone else, go with him that night.

Disgusting excuse for a first man.

“I’d rather stab my eyes out with forks.”

She glanced at Lute, who for the moment was calm, but seemed a hair’s breadth away from popping off again.

The lieutenant was peering at Adam from the corner of her eye. Her brows furrowed in concentration. 

Though what she was concentrating on, Vaggie hadn’t the slightest clue.

She grabbed Lute’s wrist, pulling her free of Adam’s grasp and towards her.

“Uh, Lute.” She placed her hands on either one of the lieutenant’s shoulders and lowered her tone so that Adam could barely hear over the music.

“I REALLY think you should just get yourself as far away from this pervert as you can and sleep this off.”

Lute made a face, pulling away from Vaggie.

“Like I said earlier, I’m fine.”

Vaggie couldn’t stop herself from rolling her eyes. 

“And unlike earlier, I am not going to let you go ANYWHERE with this sleezeball alone.”

Lute waved her hand, the action uncoordinated and flippant.

“We’ve been alone together plenty of times before-“

“But not while you were drunk and certainly not while HE was drunk. Look I’m just saying you’re not able to think clearly-“

“Don’t question me!” Lute snapped, swatting Vaggie as she turned back to grab Adam’s hand.

“If the commander is going to fuck me on the table then we’ll fuck on the table!”

“What the…” Adam trailed off, eyes darting back and forth between Vaggie, who looked like she wanted to be sick, and Lute, who was tugging insistently on his hand towards…  

…a booth.  

Oh, shit. She wasn’t kidding.  

“You know what?” Vaggie threw her hands up in the air, exasperated. “I give up. I don’t care anymore. You two do whatever the hell you want to each other.” She started off towards the bar before turning back and facing Lute.

“What you just said makes me want to drink bleach. But it sounds like you’ve made up your mind, and I can’t stop you from making shitty decisions. If you need me though, you call me right away. I mean it, Lute.” She threw a filthy look Adam’s way and stalked away, muttering further under her breath in Spanish so neither of them could understand her.  

Adam cleared his throat and turned his attention to Lute, who hadn’t stopped pulling at him. “Lute. Stop for a sec, babe.”  

She listened, her grip loosening as she looked up at him expectantly. Adam swallowed nervously, his hands clammy once again. He’d be a liar if he said that he didn’t love the idea of taking her there and then on the table in front of everybody. 

Or against the table. Or from behind as he bent her over the tab-  

Not the time, dickhead!  

“I’m taking you home.” he said firmly, grabbing her other hand and squeezing both of her hands with his. “You’ve had enough. Fuck, I’ve had enough, and that’s saying something. I’m going to make sure you’re home safe, and I’ll stay with you until I’m satisfied that you’re not going to choke on your own vomit once the high inevitably wears off and you start feeling like shit.”

Lute tried yanking her hands out of his grasp. “I don’t want to go home. Let’s just stay here and – ” She was cut off as Adam tightened his grip.  

“That’s a fucking order, Lieutenant. I’d think long and hard about your next move.”  

Not one to disobey her commander, Lute fell silent.

Adam seized the opportunity to pull her closer, one hand holding her firmly around the waist, the other finding the back of her head.He grabbed a fistful of hair and firmly tugged her head back, her head tilting upwards, bright eyes wide once again. He lowered his eyes and leaned forward, lips brushing slightly against her skin as he pressed his cheek roughly to hers, mouth finding her ear.  

He felt her inhale and forget to exhale again, hands fisted in his robes.  

“Then, you and I are going to have a little chat about saying things that we don’t mean. Understood?” He whispered angrily.

Lute swallowed, her eyes widening as she felt his mouth against her ear.

It wasn’t often Adam got mad. Even more rare that it was directed at her. And that stung.

She’d be lying if she didn’t think the whole interaction was… the tiniest bit hot though.

“Yes, Sir.” She responded, ducking her head low when he let her go, shame smacking into her with the force of a train.

She looked at no one, and said nothing as they left the party, following closely behind her commanding officer.

Once they were alone and outside of the venue Lute lifted her head, glancing at Adam to see if she could read his body language. Something that was easier said than done given she could hardly walk a straight line and consistently bumped into him as they moved.

Even still, he was stiff, his long strides carrying him quickly down the decently empty promenade. His grip on her hand was tighter then she would’ve liked it to be.

Oh crap! The seraphim would KNOW she was drunk! She puffed her chest out, trying even harder than she had been to walk in a straight line, her eyes darting around the sky, looking for open windows in the taller buildings.

If there was anytime when Sera would spot them, it was then.

They were done for. She was going to get written up!!!

She felt Adam yank on her arm, jarring her from her particularly panicked thoughts.

She was going to get written up AND Adam was mad at her. This was the WORST FUCKING NIGHT!!!

She wanted to cry.

The walk back to the barracks and her apartment was the longest walk. Not just because she kept stopping, and bumping into him.

WHY WAS IT SO HARD TO WALK?

She doubted flying would be any easier though. The last thing they needed was to fall out of the sky because she crashed into the side of a building.

The longer Adam was silent, the more anxious Lute remained.

Okay… table sex is not something she should EVER SUGGEST EVER in the future.

He was never going to trust her again. She was going to get demoted. He’d probably promote Layla…

She crashed into him when he stopped at her door, bouncing back and saluting.

“SORRY SIR.”

Adam ignored her.  

“In,” he growled, pointing at the door. “Now.”  

Lute shakily dropped her hand from her forehead and produced her key from her pocket.

Adam plucked it from her hand and swiftly unlocked the door, guiding her inside. If he let her try and do it, they’d be out there all night, given how she could barely walk home in a straight line. And he did not have the patience to watch her repeatedly try and fit her key into the keyhole.  

The first thing he noticed about Lute’s apartment wasn’t that it was spotless, or that there was no visible clutter – unlike his own home, which was practically littered with random bits and bobs. Or even that she had very little decor adorning the walls and surfaces. 

No. It was her dining table, which was devoid of any decorations and looked very inviting.

Suppressing the urge to take her up on the offer she’d made at the party, he remembered his annoyance with her. He grabbed both of her shoulders and steered her towards her couch instead.  

“Sit down.”  

She obediently dropped onto the two-seater, deliberately avoiding his gaze.

He went into her kitchen and opened cupboards, muttering to himself in irritation as he struggled to locate her drinking glasses. After finally finding them on his fourth attempt, he filled them both with water and joined Lute on the couch, handing her one as he sat.

She accepted, still silent, staring down into the glass  

“Drink.” He raised his own glass to his lips, an invitation for her to do the same.

She took a small sip, finally meeting his eyes.  

Shit. Adam felt a tiny pang in his chest at the way she was frowning at him. He knew what that look meant - she was embarrassed.  

“You wanna tell me what the hell happened back there?” he asked sternly.

Her knuckles turned white as she gripped the glass tighter.  

“Um…” Was all she could muster, face flushing as she turned away from him.

“I…” She quickly tucked a piece of hair behind her ear and puffed her cheeks.

What was she supposed to say??? If she admitted she had genuinely wanted him to take her on the table, he would be mad given that was the thing that started this mess.

If she tried to cover, and just say she was drunk, which she was, he would be mad.

She didn’t know how to navigate this without Adam being upset with her in some manner. And that fact unnerved her more than anything else.

She didn’t want him to hate her. She very much did NOT want him to hate her.

She took a shaky breath, her teeth clamping down on the edge of the glass as she raised it to her mouth again to drink.

And, as she still was buying for time, she downed the entire contents of the glass.

Shoot. Now what?

She set the glass on the coffee table in front of them, her motion stiff and robotic.

Then she exhaled the air she’d been holding, cracking the knuckles in her fingers and wrists as she looked around the room for a sign, an answer to why she had ever let herself suggest they have sex on the table.

The thought of which was still teasing her… especially as her own table caught her eye.

Fuck! She was so hot.

“I- um…” She swallowed, pressing her lips together.

Her hands were so sweaty.

“I…” She was going to melt if she didn’t do something!

“Give me one moment Sir. I just…” She shifted in her seat, pulling her tunic up over her head, only for her to struggle getting it off.

WHY WAS HER COORDINATION SO AWFUL!?

“Lute,” Adam sighed, taking in the sight of her with her tunic stuck over her head, shoulders hunched forward, arms tangled awkwardly in the material. “What are you doing?” It was hard to stay too mad at her when she looked so fucking ridiculous. There was a muffled reply from beneath the fabric that he couldn’t quite make out. “Do…” he cleared his throat. “Do you need help with that?”  

Lute managed to pop her head through the neck of the tunic, exhaling loudly.

“No, Sir,” she breathed, freeing her arms and depositing the garment on the floor next to her couch. Smoothing her tousled platinum hair out of her face, she grabbed Adam’s glass of water and downed it in one gulp.

It wasn’t hard to notice that she was flustered. Her face was a brilliant shade of gold, spreading from the apples of her cheeks right down her neck and spilling over her chest. She kept rubbing her hands on her legs like there was something unpleasant on them that she desperately needed to wipe off.

Not to mention the fact that her breathing was oddly erratic - she was practically panting.

He just couldn’t figure out why she was so worked up. Adam cocked his eyebrow at her, his irritation slowly but surely being replaced by mild amusement at how out of sorts she was. “Better?”  

“Um,” she bit her lip nervously and turned her head to stare towards her dining table.

Adam felt his chest tighten as he followed her gaze. Oh. That damn table was going to taunt him all night, and now it really wasn’t helping knowing she was clearly thinking about it, too. He wondered if it was for the same reason it was playing on his mind.

“Not really, no. It’s so hot in here.” She exhaled pointedly, and she looked so incredibly bothered now that Adam couldn’t hold his grudge any longer.

Her eyes were darting nervously around the room, hands running through her already messy hair and clutching at her flushed skin. A lot more skin than what he was used to her showing, Adam reminded himself. She puffed her cheeks like she always did when she couldn’t get her words out properly and stood, stumbling slightly as she started pacing.  

“Lutey,” he started, chuckling. How could he possibly stay mad at her? She was being completely ridiculous now, which was so fucking endearing to him. He liked how that made him feel, how a warmth was starting to spread in his chest and extend down into his abdomen. Or, it could just be the alcohol talking. “Lute, come here.” He grabbed her hand and pulled her back onto the couch.

He had intended for her to fall back where she’d originally been sitting, but he must have been drunker than he realized because he’d incorrectly gauged where she was going to land and pulled her right into his lap.For the third time that night, she grabbed the front of his robes in her fists. He felt his own breathing quicken in anticipation, his hands gravitating to her waist like they had each time they’d been close earlier that night.

His hands spread around the curve of her figure, just a sheer piece of fabric separating him from feeling her bare skin. “Hey,” he said, squeezing her gently. “You all good?”  

“Uh-huh.” Her bright eyes bored into his own, blazing, determined not to break contact.  

“Good,” he whispered, absentmindedly running the tips of his fingers up and down the side of her body.  

For several seconds, neither of them spoke or moved, an unfamiliar tension in the air hanging thickly between them. Neither of them broke eye contact with the other as they kept staring, both determinedly playing a silent game of chicken. Waiting to see who would be the first to break.  

It was Lute who folded.  

“Oh, fuck this.” she groaned suddenly, and before Adam could react, she’d pulled on his robes to close the gap between their mouths and kissed him, not holding back as she took control. She devoured him with the same manner as she approached her work: hard, fast and with reckless abandon.

Her hands quickly found their way onto his neck and into his hair, her lips never leaving his as she hungrily explored every inch of his mouth with her tongue like her life depended on it.

She tasted like tequila, lime, red wine, pure adrenaline and… the blood of the hundreds of sinners she’d slayed earlier that day?

Ow. No, scratch that, it was his blood. She’d just kissed him so fucking intensely that she’d bit his lip. 

Now that was hot.

“So,” Adam rasped when they finally broke for air, head spinning, his mouth surely bruised, “does this mean you were serious about – about the table? Back at the party?”  

She nodded, biting her now-swollen lip as she backed up off him, tugging on his hand so he also rose from the couch, leading him towards her dining table. 

“Oh, no, babe,” he grinned as he realized what she was doing, hoisting her onto his hips, her legs instinctively wrapping around his body. If she thought she was calling all the shots, she had another thing coming.  

Lute involuntarily let out a small gasp of surprise as he lifted her body against his, lacing her arms around his neck to steady herself.

“You’ve had your fun, now it’s my turn.”  

“But I- ”

He silenced her protests with his mouth, his kiss softer and slower in comparison to hers. He could feel her frustration at his deliberate pace as she tried to dominate him, her hands gripping his neck tightly as she began responding fiercely, her lips fighting his to take over.

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted against her mouth, taking a step towards the table. “What did I just say, Lieutenant?” He pulled back ever so slightly, smirking as he felt her exhale in frustration, her breath hot and heavy against his face.  

“It’s your turn, sir,” she panted shakily.  

“You’ve always been a fast learner.” He rewarded her with another long, lingering kiss as he backed her towards the table, stumbling slightly as he accidentally bumped into a wall. “Such a good girl you are, Lute.”  

She whimpered as his mouth met hers again, her fingernails dragging against his scalp as she entwined her fingers in his hair, his praise clearly turning her on - which, in turn, drove him fucking crazy.

He quickened his pace, kissing her with a fierce intensity that he was no longer able to contain. Setting her down on the edge of the table, he pulled his mouth away and leaned his forehead against hers to catch a quick breath.

The whole room was spinning around them, but he didn’t care.  

“By the way,” he whispered as he steadied himself, dipping his head to gently press his lips at the hollow of her neck,

“I don’t believe I’ve told you how hot you look tonight. Or every day, for that matter. How rude of me.” His hands found their way up underneath her underdress, feeling their way up her back until they discovered her bra strap, which he fumbled with clumsily until the clasp broke free.

“So fucking sexy,” he murmured against her throat, his hands now free to roam her upper back, taking in her hard muscles, the soft indents of her countless battle scars, the sensitive flesh where her skin met the base of her wings.Lute moaned in response, the vibration tickling Adam’s lips as they trailed down her neck and across her collarbone. 

The sound she’d made… fuck, that sound alone was enough to make him explode, which was a dangerous thought, given how hard his dick was straining against his pants. His mouth found hers once more, now frantic and desperate. His hands groped at her ass, pressing her body tightly against his hips, rocking forward firmly so she could feel how badly he needed her.

The message seemed to ring loud and clear as Lute’s fingers hastily located the buttons of his robe and fumbled with them, trying in vain to undo them.  

“Sorry, Sir,” she murmured against his mouth as she struggled, “I guess I’m a little drunk.”  

“A little drunk?” he laughed huskily, catching her bottom lip with his teeth and tugging it playfully as he reached his hands up to help her with his buttons. “Babe, we’re absolutely fucking wasted.”  

Then it hit him. They were wasted.

This wasn’t right – as much as every fiber of his being wanted to follow through with Lute’s declaration back at the party, as much as it went against every instinct of his to stop what they were doing, he couldn’t continue. Not like this when they were both in the wrong frame of mind.

He didn’t want her to wake up the next morning and resent him for it or think something had happened that she wasn’t okay with.  

He didn’t want her regretting it.  

“Lute, babe,” his hands closed around hers as he painfully stepped back slowly from her, his whole body crying out in protest. “We need to stop now before we get too carried away.”

Lute’s jaw dropped.

Shock and confusion clear and evident on her face, in her eyes. Her brows furrowed as she felt the space between them grow wider.

Her hands reached out, clinging to his robe in some desperate attempt to bring him back.

He wasn’t serious.

They couldn’t just STOP??? NOT NOW!

She scooted forward on the table, her feet latching onto him in a similar, desperate manner that her hands did.

She was going to fall off the edge of the table if she wasn’t careful-

“Sir? But-“ She closed her mouth, her eyes darting back and forth as she internally sorted through the steps that had been taken to get them there.

She NEEDED them to keep going.

“We could just- we don’t have to be on the table.” She pulled him close again, her hips bucking the moment she felt him against her once more.

He exhaled deeply, his hands coming to rest at her sides as she pulled him back into a desperate kiss.

He pulled back, turning his head and bringing his hands up to take her wrists.

“What? No! No. Lute-“ He shook his head, running a hand through his hair and messing it up further.

“That’s not the fucking issue here. We’re not doing this! You’re going to bed, I’m gonna hit the couch. We’re gonna sleep this off so we don’t regret it in the morning.”

Lute’s face fell, the rejection impaling her like an icepick through her chest.

Any other fucking exorcist and he’d have taken them on the couch, on the table, on the chair-

Why couldn’t he do the same for her?

What was it about her that was just SO unappealing that he refused to cross that professional line?

She sat on the edge of the table, watching him shuffle towards the hall. He stopped and turned to look at her, apparently he had realized she wasn’t following.

He looked annoyed.

GOOD.

She was annoyed too.

She folded her arms in an indignant huff as she slid off the table, her feet just barely landing solidly on the floor beneath her.

“You’re really gonna sit there and fucking pout in the kitchen?”

She didn’t respond, she just continued to glare.

He looked at her flatly, walking back to grab her arm and usher her towards the bedroom.“You need to go to bed. I need to go to bed. Stop making this more difficult than it needs to be.”

“You’re that tired all of a sudden?”

“Lute, look how fucking hard I am right now, you REALLY think I just wanna go to bed for the hell of it? I’m TRYING to be the responsible one here!”

He pulled her down the hall, peeking his head into the first two doors until he found her bedroom.

“I’m not going to sleep, Sir.”

He looked at her flatly.

She stared back at him, every ounce of defiance she could muster in her golden eyes as she stood firmly rooted in place.

After a moment of neither one of them daring to move, Lute realized her bra was still haphazardly on. She maintained eye contact as she blindly tried to remove the straps and take it off, her expression DARING Adam to try and stop her.

After struggling for a substantial amount of time she finally managed to slip the garment off, tossing it into the hallway behind them.

“Yeah, you’re going to bed.”

“No, Sir.” she stated, staring him down as she then removed her pants, falling into the wall as she struggled to get the article of clothing off. Once she did she triumphantly tossed them behind her, hands on her hips, chest puffed out.

Adam pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, frustrated.  

Frustrated that it turned out that he had a conscience – where the fuck had that come from? – and stopped himself before they christened Lute’s dining table blind drunk.  

Frustrated with the fact that Lute wouldn’t go to fucking bed.  

Frustrated with the fact that instead of doing her bra up like a normal person would in this situation, she’d chosen instead to take it off, followed by her pants.  

Frustrated with the fact that her stupid underdress was see-through – seriously, what was the fucking point of it, anyway? – and now he had her standing defiantly opposite him, hands on hips, tits proudly on display beneath the sheer fabric as she stared him down.  

As if he didn’t have a fucking tent pitched under his robe as it was, she had the audacity to go and tease him like this. She knew exactly what she was doing.  

Bitch.  

“You were saying, Sir?” she smirked, attempting to brace herself on the wall but her hand slipped, causing her to stumble slightly. If she wasn’t irritating him so much, he’d find her newfound cocky bravado somewhat adorable.  

“Bed.” Was all he could muster as he stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to let his eyes cast downwards at her body. Because, shit, she really did have a great rack.

No wonder he’d nicknamed her Dangertits. Somebody could very well die being suffocated by those things.  

It’d suck balls to die and all, but man, what a fucking way to go.  

“Make me, Sir.”  

Adam’s head snapped back to its normal position, his gaze meeting hers once more. She continued to bore her eyes into his, silently daring him to defy her.  

He wasn’t going to fall for it. If he challenged her, she’d probably sprint away from him, and he was too drunk to be able to confidently catch her.

“If that’s what it takes, fine.” He strode towards her – still avoiding looking at her body anywhere below her chin level – and without warning, picked her up and threw her over his shoulder, one burly arm wrapped around her waist.

Like a ragdoll.  

“Are you coming to bed, too?” she asked as he carried her into her bedroom, shutting the door with his free hand behind them. Knowing her as well as he did, if he left the door open she’d sprint out of the room the first opportunity she got.  

“No,” he answered, setting her down on her bed clumsily.

“I’m going to go and sleep on the couch.”

Lute flapped her wings once to balance herself once she lifted herself into a seated position on the bed.

Not that it worked. It was like she was on a boat, every correction she’d made to try and stay upright pushed her too far in the other direction.

Had she not been so sexually frustrated with Adam, she would’ve been more irritated by her inability to keep herself steady.

She thrust her hand outward as she fell forward, catching Adam by his robe before he could pull back fully.

Their faces were close again.

“You choose now in your immortal life to be responsible??” NOW of all times???

If she had been the sober one he’d be making dumb reckless choice after dumb reckless choice. But because SHE was also drunk he was deciding that it was his turn to be a gentleman???

What if she didn’t want him to be a gentleman!? Which she didn’t. She wanted him to fuck her right there and then!

She felt his hot breath against her face as he sighed and looked skyward again. Letting go of his robes, she grabbed his chin, turning it down so their eyes met.

“Shit! Lute come on I’m doing my best here! You’re not thinking right. I’m not thinking right and you’re REALLY pushing it babe.”

She pulled him into another sloppy kiss. “I don’t want you to do your best. I want you to fuck me-“

“Go to sleep.”

“No, Sir.”

“Babe. I’m not fucking around. You. Need. To. Sleep.”    

“And I’m not fucking around. I. Want. To. Fuck. You.” Lute punctuated her latter declaration with a short kiss to Adam’s lips after each word.

“Hard. Fast. Here. On the table. My couch. I don’t care where or how, I just know that it’s what I want – and from what I felt back on the table – ” Lute’s eyes moved down Adam’s chest, towards his lower body,

“ – you wanted it too.” She flushed slightly and bit her lip.   

Dammit, she looked so fucking hot when she did that!

He was this close to throwing responsibility out the window. One more, if she told him how badly she wanted him one more time…  

Adam squeezed his eyes shut. He needed to collect his thoughts, needed to talk himself out of giving in to what he really wanted to do.  

He needed to think non-sexy thoughts.  

Paperwork. Hard paperwork – no! Not the word hard. Shit. Difficult – yes, that was better. Difficult paperwork. Lute helping with the paperwork. Lute leaning over his desk, wearing the same sheer underdress so he could see her – fuck! Okay, thinking about paperwork wasn’t going to cut it.  

Sera! Sera wasn’t sexy. Sera was a giraffe lady, who liked to write him up constantly for bullshit reasons. Like sleeping during Court. And pranking Lute during meetings.

Really, Lute should be written up for this. He’d reprimand her, all right. Order her to bend over his lap so he could smack that tight ass of hers.  

No! Bad Adam!  

THIS. WASN’T. WORKING!  

“No!” he cried, grabbing her hands and removing them from his face.

“Babe. I need you to stop.” He swallowed, his throat tight, every part of his body aching now, to the point where if she touched him just one more time he would probably explode. “I’m going to get up now. And lock the door.”

Lute squinted her eyes, her brows furrowed at his statement.

“Why would you need to lock the door?” Her brief pause from confusion ended when she noticed him pulling back. It was then she grabbed his robe again, yanking on it to draw him close once more.

He was NOT getting away from her that easily. Especially when there was a high chance he’d run.

She grabbed his face again, only for him to deflect her away.

“LUTE WILL YOU LET ME BE FUCKING RESPONSIBLE FOR ONCE???” He threw her back against the bed. Initially thrilling. The rush of being tossed backwards making her giggle.

She could work with this!

Or she thought she could. Before she could so much as utter a rebuttal, he was on top of her. But he wasn’t on top of her in anyway that she wanted him to be.

He was laying sideways overtop of her so that his feet were off the bed. He held her arms pinned to her sides so she couldn’t move, at least not her upper body.

She was trapped under him in the least sexy way he could’ve possibly come up with.

“Sir! What the fuck are you doing???”

“Go to sleep Lute! I am fucking begging you! We are both completely wasted and I’m not gonna come out of this the fucking bad guy for once!”

Lute kicked her legs in protest, trying to get leverage by twisting and wriggling free.

She couldn’t get a single hit on him. Shit!

“Kick air all you want. I’m NOT moving.”

“SIR.”

“GO TO SLEEP.”

Adam was rather proud of his quick thinking.  

He knew it was risky, pinning Lute to the bed. Mostly because he knew she’d enjoy it – and given the way she’d laughed as he threw her down, his suspicions were confirmed.  

He filed that away for a later, more sober date.  

This position, however, was perfect. He had her arms pinned, so there was so way she could grab a hold of him. She couldn’t kick him, considering his body was lying across her upper torso and there was no physical way she could reach him. His head was far back enough from her face that she couldn’t lean forward and kiss him.  

Or at least, he thought it was perfect. Because when she started kicking out and thrashing, he’d made the mistake of looking down at her chest and noticing her tits again.  

He said a silent prayer of thanks that his dick was nowhere near her body as he shifted his hips downwards onto the mattress.   

Just in case.  

“Sir?” she panted, her kicks subsiding.

He could feel her body slacken beneath his – it could be tiredness, or, knowing Lute, she could be feigning fatigue only to take him by surprise and throw him off her when he was least suspecting it.

He squeezed her arms tighter by her side, keeping his eyes firmly on her undecorated bedroom wall behind the bedhead.“Yeah, Lute?”  

“Are you going to tell Sera about this?” Her voice was quiet, small. Afraid.  

“Only if you don’t shut up and go to sleep soon.”  

“Oh.” Silence.

“Sir?”  

“Yeah?”  

“Are you going to write me up?”  

“For what?”  

“For me wanting you to fuck me on the table.”  

Adam sighed heavily and looked down at Lute’s face. Her eyelids were drooping; she was looking at him from underneath her eyelashes. He could feel that her breathing was becoming slower; more even, regulated. She was finally on the cusp of sleep.  

“No, babe. I’m not going to write you up,” he said, watching her face relax. “You were a fucking menace tonight and tested me in every way possible, but no. I’ll let you off. Just this once.”  

“Oh,” she breathed, her eyes fluttering shut. “Good.”

Adam watched Lute’s face as she drifted off, her head tilting to the side slightly as she finally gave in to sleep. He smiled fondly as soft snores escaped her mouth and began to rhythmically fill the room.  

She was adorable, even in sleep.  

He leaned forward and kissed her softly on the forehead, smoothing her wild hair out of her face so she wouldn’t get it in her mouth as she slept.  

“Night, Dangertits.” he whispered as he slowly, deliberately, moved off her body. He took the duvet from the opposite side of the bed and wrapped it over her, lifting her arm to tuck it just under her body.  

Now, it was time for him to sleep. He was fucking spent.  

He opened her wardrobe and located a spare blanket, folded with military precision on the top shelf. Picking up the spare pillows that had ended up on the floor during their tussle, he lined them up neatly parallel to Lute’s body and settled himself on the bed next to her, draping the blanket over himself.  

She may have been all over him earlier, but he knew what she’d be like in the morning when she discovered that they’d shared a bed. Best to play it safe.  

Closing his eyes, he attempted to reconcile how he’d ended up in this position. Adam was never responsible; in fact, he was practically the poster boy for bad choices, the textbook definition of irresponsibility. So why was he so insistent of not fucking this up?He peered over the pillow barrier at Lute, who had shifted slightly in her sleep so her body was now facing away from him. 

Deep down, he knew why he was so determined to do the right thing. Too bad he’d never admit it out loud.  

Though, he was looking forward to when the time was right between them. Because if the way she kissed him was any sort of preview of what he could expect…  

…it was hot as fuck.  

Hot.  

He was hot as fuck.  

This room was hot as fuck.  

EVERYTHING WAS HOT!  

Adam groaned and threw the blanket off himself and onto the floor. This was the part of drinking that he hated. The inevitable comedown, the beginning of the antagonizing descent back to sober-ness that meant a host of other unpleasant side-effects were soon to follow.  

Usually, he tried to get to sleep before he hit this stage, but somebody had other ideas.  

He squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think of what unpleasant symptom would come next. Would it be a headache? The nausea? The irritability?  

He was boiling. His body temperature must have been at least a thousand degrees, if not more. Sitting up, he ripped his robe up over his head and tossed it next to him on the floor, his pants and undershirt following suit not long after. Clad only in his underwear, feeling significantly cooler now, he glanced over at Lute, who hadn’t moved since he’d last checked on her.  

He smirked as he lay his head down on the pillow, his eyes now feeling heavy as sleep drew nearer. She was going to freak in the morning when she saw this.

Lute groaned and cracked an eye open, immediately shutting it as the sliver of light from her windows cut through her pupils like a hot knife.      

Her head was THROBBING. The pressure building the longer she laid there.

Even the simple basic act of thinking tore through her brain like a spear.

What happened last night?

She was aware of a very bitter taste in her dry mouth. Like bile.

The party… The victory concert-

Her head was going to explode. The sound of snoring just behind her wasn’t helping-

Snoring?

She sat up quickly, squeezing her eyes shut again as the room spun around her.

UGH she was going to be sick. And she was GOING to kill whoever kept snoring in her ears! It might not have actually been loud but in that moment it was like an amp was turned to max right next to her head.

She grit her teeth, moving slower as she felt with her hands to try and see EXACTLY who dared to sleep in her bed.

At least… she hoped it was her bed…

She forced her eyes open, taking some level of solace through the blinding light that what she could make out seemed at least familiar.

It wasn’t Vaggie’s apartment. Okay… it was hers.

She looked down at the wall of pillows, confounded as to why they were there.

Seriously… what happened?

She brought her hands back to her face, rubbing it gingerly in that hopes the action would alleviate the pressure.

It didn’t.

No wonder hard alcohol was typically banned from Heaven. This was HORRIBLE.

Finally, she found the strength to open her eyes and confront whoever was taking up residence in her bed.

Oh… shit.

It was Adam. Her boss. Sleeping in nothing but his underwear. IN HER BED.

Her eyes widened and she very quickly felt her body, looking down and kicking off whatever covers there were.

She was in her underdress and nothing else... fuck.

What happened last night?! …where was her bra??? Where were her pants???She looked around the bed for any sign of either of them as frantically as she could muster, only to slip and collide with the floor with a ‘thud.’

“Ouch.” She hissed, muttering curses into her carpet.

Adam grunted. Whoever the fuck was rolling around on the floor was about to cop an absolute earful if they didn’t stop in approximately three seconds.  

He groggily opened one eye and took in his surroundings. White bedspread. Black bed-frame. Pillows to his left, dividing the bed.   

Ah. He remembered now. This was Lute’s room.  

Opening the other eye, he peeked over the pillow barricade. Lute seemed to have vacated the bed. Probably sitting on the floor, rocking in the corner of her living room as she pieced together memories of what a freak she’d been the night before.

He smirked as his own recollection of the night began flooding back. She really had indeed been a freak.  

Yawning, he scratched his chest as he sat up properly. Shit, his head was pounding. He had half a mind to lie back down and sleep it off, but he figured he should find Lute and try to ascertain what her version of last night’s events were.

Crawling across the bed, he picked up the pillows and threw them off Lute’s side, not paying any attention to where they landed.  

“Ow!” an indignant voice cried from the floor.  

“Lute?” Adam called, peering over the side of the bed. He was greeted not by her face as he’d expected, but by her almost-bare chest, covered only by the thin material of her underdress.  

Ah. That’s right. She’d taken her bra and pants off in some kind of weird striptease for him last night. A last-ditch attempt to get him to sleep with her.

He wondered if she was aware of her newfound interest in the art of burlesque.  

Only one way to find out.  

“For fuck’s sake, Lieutenant,” he sighed, “Put on a bra, would ya?”Lute responded by rolling over onto her stomach, forehead pressed to the carpet as she tossed a pillow at him, missing and hitting her headboard.

“I’m about to get up, Sir. I just… need a minute. Close your eyes.”  

“What for?” he snorted. “You couldn’t get enough of showing your tits off last night.”  

Lute’s head snapped up, her eyes wide and cheeks positively golden with shock.

“What?!”  

“Oh, yeah.” Adam flattened himself on the bed and grinned down at Lute, who was gaping wordlessly up at him. Oh, this morning was going to be fun, even if he was hungover as shit. “You were wild last night, babe. An animal. You couldn’t keep your hands off me – I had to beg you to stop. Turns out you want the First Dick just as bad as the rest of ‘em.”  

“I think I’m going to be sick,” Lute muttered, her forehead dropping back down to the floor.

She had debased herself.

Even if she was VERY aware of her feelings towards her commanding officer, she’d at the very least always maintained that she still had her chastity. That she wasn’t clamoring to sleep with him like all the other exorcists purely BECAUSE he was the first man.

She likely didn’t even have that anymore. She was just like every other pathetically hopeless girl who drooled over him in heaven. 

Any amount of respect she had for herself? Gone. Obliterated. 

She groaned and thumped her forehead against the floor, immediately regretting it as black spots danced in her vision.

That was nothing compared to the all-encompassing sense of shame that had her in a chokehold.

After a very long moment she forced herself upright, pulling herself to lean on the bed and face her boss.

He was staring at her, a smug look on his lips. His hair was an absolute mess and she REALLY hoped that was of his own doing and not hers.

“…We didn’t… did we?”

Adam snickered, shrugging his shoulders.

“Oh, now you’re having second thoughts? Let me tell you Lutey, you were an absolute FREAK of nature last night.”

Lute paled, slowly sliding back down to the floor so he couldn’t look at her. So he couldn’t SEE any part of her.

He’d apparently already seen enough. AND HE REMEMBERED IT ALL. So why couldn’t she???

-Pants! She needed to find her pants. And her bra. Unless she wanted to continue to unintentionally flash him.

She crawled around the bed, bumping into the frame way more than she would’ve liked as she felt around on the floor for the items of clothing.

She pulled herself up when she reached the door, using the frame to get her up onto her feet.

“Nice ass.”

Lute felt her ears burn as she glanced over her shoulder at him, irritated that he would DARE look her way. She dropped her wings, crossing the bottom feathers in the hopes she’d be at minimum a little more covered.

“Sir… why are you still here?” She asked through clenched teeth.

“You think I feel any better than you do?”

She pressed her lips together, deciding not to respond as she made her way out into the living area.

She was NEVER drinking again. EVER.

Her brows furrowed as she pulled herself along the wall, using it to keep herself upright as she wandered into the main part of her apartment.

She felt like she should be able to remember something from the night before. But apparently it was so horrible her brain had conveniently erased it.

She paused at the end of the hall as her table came into view.

There was something about that table- something IMPORTANT. Why couldn’t she remember???

She heard a very low vibration emanating from the living area near the couch. The telltale sign that her phone was going off from its hiding place beneath the cushions.

GREAT. Another thing she needed to hunt down.

It took her way longer to find her phone than she cared to admit. Especially as she had to keep pausing to close her eyes. Everything was so fucking loud and bright. 

WHY the fuck was everything in Heaven so illuminated all the fucking time??? 

She sighed with relief when she finally yanked her phone from where it was trapped, squinting and wincing as the vivid light from the screen assaulted her sensitive eyes. 

She had …fifty-thousand notifications.

Oh shoot.

She rubbed her face as she very quickly skimmed through, groaning the whole while. 

A handful seemed to be pictures the other girls were tagging her in. Great. That was just great.

The rest were… messages from Vaggie.

One VERY important one at the very top of the stack making her heart drop.

‘I’m coming over. Be there in five.’

No, no, no, no, NO!

VAGGIE COULD NOT SEE ADAM IN HER PLACE!!

It was bad enough SHE had to live with the knowledge of what happened last night. But for VAGGIE to find out??? She did not want to have that conversation.

She did not want to deal with the JUDGMENT.

She sprung to her feet, intending to go back to her room and tell Adam he needed to leave immediately. However, she was stopped when there was a knock at the door.

Vaggie huffed impatiently, tapping her foot as she waited for Lute to open her damn door.  

She was exhausted. Part of that was her own fault – she’d continued to party long after Lute and Adam had left, well into the early hours of the next morning. And when the party had ended, she wasn’t quite ready to go home so she’d continued celebrating by spending a little one-on-one time with another angel in their bed.  

It was no wonder she was so tired. She hadn’t slept a wink.   

The other reason she was exhausted, though, was because she’d been stressing all night about Lute leaving the party with Adam.  

Their boss, in Vaggie’s eyes, was nothing more than a selfish, womanizing piece of shit and it killed her to think that her friend had fallen victim to his apparent charm.

Lute. The baddest bitch in all of Heaven, who took no crap from anybody.

Lute, who would happily gut somebody with her sword without a second thought if they even looked at her the wrong way.  

Lute, who as far as she knew, had never gone home with anybody before.  

The door creaked open, mid-foot tap.  

“Hi.” Lute poked her head through the gap in the door. Vaggie winced – she looked like hell, and that was putting it nicely. Her hair resembled something more like a bird’s nest than her usual platinum crop, her eyes looked tired and her pale face had the faintest tinge of green to it.  

“You look awful.” Vaggie crossed her arms and glared at her friend. “Can I come in?”

“Um,” Lute looked back into her apartment nervously, filling Vaggie with a sense of dread.

He was fucking in there. She knew it.

“...Can you just give a minute? I just have to, um – ”  

“Nope.” Vaggie pushed the door open, eyes widening at the absolute state of Lute.  

Despite being what she would consider ‘good’ friends with her lieutenant, in the many years Vaggie had known Lute she had only ever seen her wear two things: her exorcist uniform in full, or training gear.

That was it.

No casual clothes, no fancy outfits. Even when the Exorcists hit the showers after training, Lute would always enter a private shower cubicle fully dressed, and exit the cubicle fully dressed. She’d never undress near the lockers, like their other sisters.  

So, to see her in nothing but her sheer underdress and plain black panties was something of a shock to Vaggie.  

“Is… is there something that I need to know?” Vaggie asked weakly, watching as Lute hastily folded her arms over her chest. “Because I’d rather you just tell me now and get it over with – ”  

“No,” Lute squeaked, in a tone that Vaggie had never heard before, the blush on Lute’s cheeks completely betraying her. “I was just getting ready for a shower.”  

“A shower,” Vaggie echoed, her eyes trailing to the black bra that hung over the lamp on Lute’s desk. She nodded at it, Lute’s eyes following and widening in horror when she realized what Vaggie was gesturing to. “Do you normally just… throw your underwear around your apartment when you take a shower?”  

“I put it there for... safekeeping.”  

Lute was a lot of things. Lethal. Ambitious. Downright terrifying, at times. One thing she was not, however, was a good liar.  

“Uh-huh,” Vaggie nodded slowly. “And your pants?” She pointed to the crumpled up pile of familiar black leggings that lay near Lute’s dining table. “Do they require safekeeping too?”  

Lute just swallowed in response and crossed her arms tighter.

“Lute,” Vaggie pleaded desperately, placing her hands on her friend’s shoulders. “Please tell me you didn’t?”

Lute recoiled away from the touch, her arms pressing tighter against herself.

How the fuck was she supposed to explain this??? ESPECIALLY when she wasn’t even sure exactly what happened!

She couldn’t even look Vaggie in the eyes. She didn’t want to. Not when she knew the girl would chastise her. She couldn’t deal with that. 

“I… don’t-“ Lute pressed her lips together.

WHY COULDN’T SHE BE A BETTER LIAR?

“No! Of course I didn’t.” She turned away completely from her sworn sister. Though she could feel Vaggie’s eyes boring holes into the back of her head.

Her wings tensed, eyes widening as she heard Adam in the bedroom.

No! NO! NO! NO! NO!

Vaggie could NOT know he was still here!

She spun on her heel, turning back to address her friend, order her out of the apartment, but before she could so much as utter a sound she felt her stomach whirl and bile fill her mouth.

“Oh, sh-“ Was all she managed to get out before she sprinted through her bedroom and into the bathroom, the door banging off the wall as she pushed it open.

She was lucky that she managed to make to the bathroom BEFORE she voided the contents of her stomach. Though just barely.

She was NEVER drinking again.

Vaggie had joined her in the bathroom at some point, she wasn’t sure when and she didn’t care given she felt like she was sick for decades.

Her head was throbbing, the room was spinning, she was nauseous and clammy… AND SHE STILL HAD NOT THE FAINTEST CLUE OF WHAT HAPPENED THE NIGHT BEFORE.

“Please just kill me now and put an end to my suffering…” She muttered, head in her hands as she pulled away from the toilet.

She wanted to die. Death would certainly be better than whatever this was. 

Adam smirked to himself as he propped himself up on his elbows and tried to peer into Lute’s bathroom. He couldn’t see a lot of the action from where he was laying, although given how violently ill Lute was, he figured that was probably a good thing.  

“It’s alright, hon,” he heard Vaggie sigh, consoling Lute as she retched again. “I think after you’re done it’d be best if we got you into the shower and cleaned you up a bit.”  

“Can I watch?” Adam called from his spot on the bed, grinning. He didn’t feel too crash hot himself, and the sound of others vomiting made his own stomach churn, but he knew he’d get a good rise out of Vaggie if he riled her up a bit, and that would be well worth it.  

Besides, he wasn’t even sure if she’d seen him as she’d run past the bed, chasing Lute into the bathroom.  

Vaggie poked her head through the doorway. “What the fuck did you do to her?” she hissed, her almond eyes narrowing to dangerous slits. “She’s not in a good way, Adam!”  

“I didn’t do anything!” he proclaimed, sitting up. He saw Vaggie wince as she took in his near-nude body, the blanket draped over his lap hiding any trace of his underwear. “Oh lighten up Vag, as if you’re never seen a naked man before – actually wait, I take it back, you probably haven’t.” He spread his arms out proudly. “It is an honour to be the first – ”  

“Now I think I’m going to be sick,” Vaggie moaned, rubbing her eyes. “Why the hell are you so hairy?”  

Adam looked down at his chest, frowning. He wasn’t that hairy…

…was he?  

“What would you know, carpet muncher?” he shot back. “This is one hundred percent pure testosterone you’re looking at – and given I’m the First Man, I’m also the ideal man, so why don’t you – ”  

He was interrupted by another retch from Lute.  

“I don’t know what you did to her,” Vaggie growled, “But I’m going to put her in the shower and take her back to my place so she can recover in peace.”  

“Like fuck you’re taking her home, I’m taking care of her.”

“Yeah, coz you’re doing a real good job of it now, laying your lazy ass in bed while she pukes her guts up.”  

“I was getting up anyway to make us coffee, fucking calm your flaps.” Adam threw the blanket off his lap and rolled off the bed.  

Rolling wasn’t a good idea. His stomach churned violently as he steadied himself.  

“Could you at least put some clothes on?” she snarled. “I’ve already seen enough of your doughy dad-bod this morning.”  

“Fuck off! There’s nothing wrong with my body. Like you’re one to talk anyway you hypocrite, you’re still in your clothes from the night before. Did you do the walk of shame here?”  

Vaggie muttered something under her breath that Adam couldn’t quite make out and slammed the bathroom door shut.  

Whistling, he strode out into the living area and through to the kitchen.

Anyone would, and should be grateful to have a friend like Vaggie.

Lute was not among the grateful that morning.

Especially not when Vaggie tried to get her to step into the shower. She pulled away, borderline belligerent, her wings coming up around herself to cover herself.

“I can manage myself.” She hissed.

It was an absolute lie. She very much could not handle herself. She could barely stand upright, much less keep her eyes open.

Vaggie sighed in exasperation, pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Well it’s either I help you or I go get our… erm, charming boss to do it.”

Lute jumped, her wings involuntarily smacking Vaggie into the sink.

“OR why don’t I shower myself?”

Vaggie looked at her flatly. “Lute you can BARELY stand. If it makes you feel any better just get in wearing what you have.” She turned on the water, pushing the lieutenant into the tub before she could protest.

Something Lute would be REMEMBERING when they got to the office on Monday.

She shrieked when the water hit her, making the sheer fabric even MORE see-through as he clung to her. In a panic, she tried to pull back from the water only to slip on the wet tile and fall, taking Vaggie down with her. 

“This is why. THIS right here is why I wasn’t going to let you shower on your own. You’d fucking KILL yourself.” Vaggie muttered as she moved her now soaking wet hair from her eyes.

Lute stayed on the floor of the shower for a moment longer, eyes squeezed shut. 

Her head was going to explode. 

“Seriously, Lute. Tell Adam to fuck off and get out of here. You’re not in your right mind and clearly he’s already done enough damage.”

Lute waved her hand blindly, eyes staying closed.

“He said he was making coffee.” She muttered, defending him despite the fact that she shouldn’t. 

BUT, if he left she might never piece together what happened the night before. And she sure as shit wasn’t leaving him alone in her apartment to look through all her stuff. 

Vaggie sighed, not bothering to waste her breath anymore. She turned on her heel and left the bathroom, hoping Lute wouldn’t drown in the shower while she found her a change of clothes. 

“What are you doing?” she asked Adam, emerging from Lute’s bedroom, hands on hips.  

“Performing a fucking baptism,” he shot back, watching the coffee begin to steep into the pot. “What does it look like, you dumb bitch?”  

If there was anything that got on Adam’s nerves, besides math, it was stupid questions.  

“I can see that, fuckstick. I mean, what are you doing with Lute?”  

Adam leaned against the counter and considered Vaggie’s question. Even though she was a moody pain in the ass, she cared about Lute. Genuinely.  

Maybe just this once, he could level with her.  

“I know you’re not going to believe me,” he said slowly, scratching the back of his neck. “But I mean it when I say nothing happened between us last night.”  

“Then why are you both barely clothed?”  

“Because I was drunk and got hot, and I stopped Lute from doing something she might have regretted, alright?” He turned away from Vaggie and filled three mugs with black coffee.

“Any other stupid questions?”  

Silence. And then, “No.”  

“Good. Do you take milk or sugar with your coffee? Or are you weird like Lute and only drink it black?” He added two spoonfuls of sugar and a considerably large splash of milk to one mug and took a sip instantly. “Oooh. That’s good.”   

“I’ll have mine when I get back. I’m going to grab some food.”

Vaggie reached for the handle of the front door and paused, turning back to Adam. 

“Lute’s just getting changed now. She… wasn’t too keen on the shower. I think it will help, though, so I’m glad I forced her in. Make sure she drinks that.” She nodded once at Adam – a rare civil gesture – and closed the door behind her.

Lute took SOME level of solace, she supposed, in the fact that Vaggie had helped her find new clothes. And had given her the privacy to change.

She at least felt… somewhat decent now. Even if her head was still pounding, she could face Adam with some level of dignity.

She made her way into the living area, the towel loosely draped over her head to keep the light away from her eyes.

And… to hide her face until the last possible second.

Once she got to the end of the hall, she rubbed the towel over her hair and pulled it down over her shoulders to catch whatever water might still be there.

Now or never.

She let out a breath, strolling into the kitchen as nonchalant as she could muster, head high, chest out. 

She deflated quickly though, her jaw clenching as she caught sight of Adam’s bare- EVERYTHING.

Heaven help her.

“Sir.” She slammed her hand down onto the counter, trying her best to maintain her composure.

“What happened last night? And don’t dance around the question.”

Adam took a sip of his coffee, sliding the mug he’d made for her across the counter. She stopped it with her hand.

“The Victory concert? We got hammered babe.”

Lute looked at the dark liquid swirling in the mug, before peering up at Adam flatly.

“I know that.” She hissed. “I mean AFTER we came back to my apartment.”

He smirked, once more raising the coffee to his lips.

“I already told you. You got freaky~” He winked, holding up his finger when she opened her mouth to protest.

Her eyebrow twitched.

“That isn’t helpful. Sir.”

“What do you want me to say, Dangertits? You wanted to fuck me on the couch,” He nodded to the living room. 

“The table, oh you were REALLY gunning for me to dick you down on the table-“

Lute cut him off, balling the towel up and throwing it at him. Gloriously, she managed to hit him directly in his smug stupid face.

Her own face was burning.

“My table? Of all the places in my apartment you’re telling me the TABLE is where I wanted to do it?”

Adam snickered, letting the towel drop to the floor.

“Yeah. Wouldn’t let me so much as walk away before you started stripping in some sort of little tantrum because I WOULDN’T fuck you on the table.”

She wanted to kill him.

Adam, First Man, he would die that day. 

Adam took one look at Lute’s face and he couldn’t hold his laughter in anymore.  

She was filthy with him.  

“Tell. Me. What. Happened,” she snarled. “I know where my knives are. You don’t.”  

Adam opened the drawer closest to him.

Knives. All perfectly polished with expertly sharpened blades. There were far too many of them for one angel living on her own – but then again, it was Lute, so it wasn’t the same level of shock as it would have been had they belonged to any other angel.  

“Wanna tell me when you started a side hustle as a butcher, babe?” Adam asked, taking another sip of coffee. “Coz, really, you don’t need this many – ”  

“I’ll butcher you in a minute,” Lute growled, “If you don’t shut up and fill in the gaps from last night.”

Adam held up his hands in defeat. “Alright, alright, calm the fuck down.” He rubbed a hand against his jaw and sighed.

He had no idea how she was going to take what went down last night – but she needed to know, and he really didn’t feel like talking her out of wielding a knife at him today.

He nodded towards her mug, still untouched on the bench. “I’ll tell you, but you’re going to want to drink that before it gets cold.”  

Lute eyed the cup wearily before glancing back in his direction, pointedly averting her eyes so she was looking somewhere over his left shoulder.

“...could you at least get dressed first?” she asked weakly.  

“Nope. This is how I came into this world – well, almost – and it’s how I intend to stay today. I will, however – ” He bent down and leaned his forearms on the counter opposite Lute, the lower part of his body mostly obscured from her view.

“ – stand here so I don’t catch you checking out my junk. My eyes are up here, remember?” He pointed to his golden eyes and grinned, watching Lute roll her eyes and reach for her cup.

“Alrighty, story time. What do you remember from the concert?”  

“I-” She pressed her lips together and glanced sideways. “I saw you doing a shot off that bitch. Layla...” There was a bite to Lute’s voice when she said Layla’s name that caught Adam off-guard.

He cocked his head, frowning, trying to recall the moment.  

“That was at the start of the night,” Adam said slowly, studying Lute, who had gone practically fluorescent and was making every effort to not look at him. Instead, she was intensely studying the black coffee in the mug she held between her hands. There was no fucking way black coffee could be that interesting.

“Lute – did you drink yourself stupid because you were jealous?”  

“No!” she cried indignantly. “...I just thought, that maybe, it might be fun to have a drink or two, that’s all.”

“Well, you didn’t just have a drink or two. You mixed at least four different drinks, including, from what Vaggie said last night, at least a full bottle of wine.”  

“No wonder I feel so crap.” she muttered, still not meeting his eye.  

“Yeah.” Adam snorted, draining the last of his coffee and setting his mug down on the bench. “Given the fact that you’re a giant overachiever, I’m not surprised you drank yourself stupid. Don’t ever pull that shit again. It’s dangerous, and you could have fucked yourself up pretty hardcore. Understood?”  

Lute continued to stare into the depths of her cup, head bowed, damp hair hiding her face.  

Adam sighed and rubbed his face. It was time to cut the bullshit and come clean.  

“Babe, nothing happened last night. I promise. I wasn’t lying when I said you were an animal – you initially wanted to fuck me on a table in front of everybody, which was when I decided to take you home and put you to bed.”  

“I did not say that.”  

“Well, no, you didn’t say it, but you certainly screamed it,” he smirked and ran a hand through his hair, trying to remember their surroundings at the time. “If it makes you feel any better, I think only Vaggie heard.”

“It doesn’t. So what happened when we got back here?”  

“Oh, before I get into that – you tried to fight Layla on the dance-floor. I think she accidentally bumped into you, and you flew off the handle at her and wanted to throw hands.”  

“She should have watched where she was dancing, then.” Lute’s tone was decidedly miffed. 

“I think it was an accident, Lute. And stop getting your panties in a twist about Layla. She’s a good time and a nice chick, but that’s about the extent of our relationship.”  

“And I’m not.” Lute finally tore her eyes from her coffee and glared at Adam, hurt evident in her own eyes as she stared him down like she was daring him to deny her statement.

He sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. There was far, far too much to unpack in what she’d said, and his head was already fucking pounding.  

“I didn’t say that, so cut the self-deprecating bullshit. You’re the bane of my fucking existence some days, but you’re the baddest bitch in Heaven. My top girl. There’s nobody else I’d rather have as my right-hand woman. Does that make you feel better?”

“No.”  

“Well, let me put it this way – I like a good time, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not what matters most to me. Got it?”  

Lute said nothing, absentmindedly tapping a finger against her mug instead.  

“Anyway. We got back here, and I tried to get you to sober up by giving you water, but you were all worked up over something. Turns out, you were just horny as fuck and you kissed me there on that couch.”  

“You said nothing happened!” she wailed, burying her face in her hands as she leaned her elbows on the counter.  

“When I say nothing happened, I mean we didn’t sleep together. But fuck, Lute, I’m not gonna lie to you – it was headed that way. I had you up on your table and was about to start ripping your clothes off with my teeth before I realized something.”  

“What?” she groaned into her fingers.  

“I realized that when it happens – and I’m not saying the word if because I know it’s only a matter of time before it does happen – we both need to be in the right frame of mind. Not blind drunk. So, I put a stop to it.”  

Lute separated her ring and middle fingers, her bright eyes peering out at him from the gaps she’d created.  

“Lute? Say something?”

She didn’t want to say something.

She wasn’t even sure she could breathe in that moment given her BOSS just admitted that he fully expected them to fuck sometime in the near future. But not only did he expect them to fuck he expected it to be without any alcohol.

Her heart thumped wildly against her ribcage, her face burning hot.

Was she… excited? Anxious? Was that what she was feeling? SHAME? How the fuck was she supposed to process or accept that in any capacity? She wasn’t supposed to be into him like that!

Only to realize that she still hadn’t answered him and he was looking at her like she’d dropped her halo.

Speak. She needed to speak.

She cleared her throat, straightening up. Her eyes dropped down to the countertop and away from Adam, her hands smoothing out a stray napkin that was setting close by.

“I… recognize my behavior was… unprofessional.” She winced when Adam started laughing.

“Unprofessional? That ship sailed LONG before we got back to your place.”

She pressed her lips together, brows furrowed as she kept her full attention on the napkin. In particular she kept her attention on a wrinkle that wouldn’t come out.

“…But, thank you for… stopping me from doing anything foolish….Sir…” She felt her cheeks burn hotter.

She might not have been looking at him but she could FEEL his smug expression on her.

Any second he’d laugh again. Any second he’d poke fun. 

But he didn’t. Instead he reached out and gently took her hand, stroking the back of it with his thumb.

“Like I said,” He started, the sound of his coffee mug being set down on the counter hitting her ears.

“We need to be in the right frame of mind. Cause that’ll be a day I want you to remember~”

Lute’s eyes flicked up ever so briefly before she looked back down. She rubbed her temple, her headache returning with a vengeance.

She cleared her throat again, her breath hitching as she felt Adam, very gently, place a kiss on her forehead.

He then shifted around the counter, hoisting her up into his arms bridal style.

“Sir!” She yelped.

“What are you doing???”

“Simple, you have a headache. I know I have a headache. Standing around here isn’t going to help so let’s just call it and go back to bed.”

She covered her face with her hands once more as he carried her back into her room, easing her down gently onto the mattress before climbing next to her.

He then very deliberately took one of the spare pillows and placed it over his crotch.

“Don’t want you getting any ideas.” He winked, snickering as Lute involuntarily smacked him square in the chest.

“Ouch! Hey, see? I was smart. Now I’m fucking protected!”

Lute rolled her eyes, shifting to get herself comfortable and falling silent in the hopes her headache would fade. She just needed to go back to sleep.

Shockingly, Adam also fell silent. It was startling him not speaking for so long that Lute was the one to break the silence.

“Sir?” She asked, her voice small.

“Hmm?”

“You’re not going to fire me over this?”

He frowned, propping himself up on his arm.

“Why would I fucking do that? Didn’t you hear me? You’re my top girl.”

“I was just making absolutely sure, Sir.” She pressed her lips together, falling silent again as Adam readjusted his position and closed his eyes.

“Sir?”

“Yeah?”

“Are… you going to tell Sera about this?”

Adam cracked open an eye, choosing to scoot closer to close the distance between them, his legs bumping up against hers. 

Of course, the pillow was still there because the first man was apparently choosing THAT particular moment to be modest.

“What Sera doesn’t know won’t kill her.” He shrugged.

“Besides, it was our Victory concert. Everyone goes wild that night. You just decided to be fucking insane.”

Lute glanced off to the side, only to pause when she felt Adam’s fingers brush against her cheek.

“It’s okay though. Keeps Heaven interesting. You being fucking nuts.”

She inadvertently leaned into his touch, bringing her hand up to hold his wrist, a small smirk on her lips as she closed her eyes.

Vaggie didn’t bother announcing when she came back given she expected to see them in the kitchen.

BUT NO. No, they’d decided to leave their half-empty coffee mugs on the counter.

She hated to consider what that meant given Adam was a party in all this. There was no telling what he could pressure Lute into. Not that Lute was seemingly at all unwilling most times.

Then again, it wasn’t out of the realm of reason that Lute had just gotten sick again. Even IF she probably didn’t have anything left in her stomach by that point that didn’t mean she wouldn’t still dry heave.

The exorcist sighed, placing the bag of food on the counter as she made her way down the hall towards Lute’s bedroom.

She paused when she heard whispering, peering through the door to see them… in bed?

She waited a moment, weighing her options. If she went in there and disturbed them - EVEN if she wanted to on principle - Lute would be FURIOUS with her. If she did nothing… well… she’d probably be fine.

After a long moment she sighed, deciding to leave the apartment for the time being.

She’d send a text checking in later. But for now, she’d let them rest and sleep off their hangovers.

Hopefully, it would benefit all of them come Monday.

[duffs-balls]

The Dilfest

HELLOOO GUYSS

the title is kinda joke cause this is just a silly story so i cant think of a good title

anyway like i said this is a silly little story abt velvet revolver era duff hihi he makes me so horny please someone let me go back in time and fuck him🤗

IF YOU NOTICE ANY SPELLING/GRAMMAR MISTAKES TELL ME PLEASEEE YOU WOTN SOUND LIKE A NERDY BITCH I PROMISE

ALSO IF UOU HAVE ANY PROMPTS YOUD LIKE ME TO WRITE U CAN COMMENT OR DM ME ALTHOUGJ I DONT WRITE VERY FAST BC IT AINT MY PRIORITY BUT WHATEVA

ANYWAY this is just some fluff bc yes

uhh warnings?? i guess smoking, drinking and dilfs

GRRRR BARK BARK WOOF EGGRRRRRRBARKAAAABRAKWOOOFFFFGRRRRGRRRRRNNNNBARJ BARK BARK WOOF

I saw him there again, smoking a cigar. He looks oh-so hot. His wavy, blonde hair framing his face just right. His low-rise black flare jeans. His tight shirt.

Jesus Christ.

I saw him sitting at the same bar, in the same spot, at the same time a week ago. He wouldn’t order any alcoholic drinks, just water or an energy drink. He was with another guy last week, but he was alone today. I could go and talk to him. Should I? No. Maybe? No, what if he already has someone? No ring. Maybe he’ll think I’m annoying. Should I just wait until he talks to me? Maybe he won’t see me. Is my hair alright? Fuck, he’s so hot. He’s coming my way now.

Hold up, he’s coming my way? Holy shit. Shit, shit, shit. Look away, look away.

“Hey.”

Oh, Lord.

“Huh? Oh, hey.” I smile at him, my heart racing in my chest. He sits down on the chair next to me. Fuck, his thighs. He’s even hotter up close.

“I saw you lookin’ at me, honey.” His smirk. Oh my God, his smirk.

“Oh, did you?” My voice is trembling slightly, an awkward smile on my face. Dumbass. Get your shit together.

“Yeah, I did.” He reaches up and brushes a lock of hair away from my face, tucking it behind my ear. I couldn’t help but lean into his touch. I could feel my cheeks heating up, and the chuckle rumbling from deep in his throat was the confirmation.

“What’s your name, babe?” His voice was low and raspy, the corners of his mouth still curled up into a slight smirk.

“Y/n.” His hand came down onto my thigh, stroking up and down with a gentle but firm grip. I started to relax a little, not as shocked and frozen as I was at first anymore. I glance down at his hand, before adding; “And you are…?”

“Duff.” I didn’t expect a name like that. But then again, he did look like some sort of rockstar. “McKagan.”

Y/n McKagan..

No. I just met him.

“Really? Your name’s Duff?” A small, disbelieving smile tugs at my lips. He chuckles and nods. His laugh was so sexy. So pretty.

“I like that.” I say softly, taking another sip of my drink.

“Yeah?” He couldn’t take his eyes off me. He watches me drink, his eyes locked on my face, before moving down to my neck as I swallow.

“Yeah.” I put my glass back down on the bar before turning to him. I look into his eyes, and completely drift off to a whole ass different universe. Completely lost in each other, none of us says anything. It isn’t a weird, uncomfortable silence, though. It’s just silence, and it’s okay.

Until I snap out of it, clearing my throat as I realise he might not be staring at me in the same way I was at him. I look away, chugging the rest of my drink to try and get my racing mind to calm the fuck down a little.

“Well, I’d better get going.”

WHAT?? No way in HELL that just came out of my mouth. Fuck. Better roll with it now.

“What? Why?” He stands up right after I do, reaching out to grab my hand. Holy shit. He grabbed my hand. Now that we’re both standing up, I notice how he towers over me. How the fuck is he so tall?

“Uh, I told my friend I’d be back by now.” Lie.

“Friend..? Boy… friend?” Was he really asking this? Woah.

“No, no. Not boyfriend. Just.. Friend.” I smile at him, not being able to resist weaving my fingers through his. I can’t believe I’m actually holding hands with him. Oh my god. I can’t.

“Okay, well, I really gotta get rollin’.” I smile at him and let go of his hand, waiting for a moment, unsure of what to do before slowly turning and walking away. I should’ve told him I liked talking to him. Fuck. I might never see him again. Should I just turn around? I could. No, that’d be weird. Why is this so hard? It’s never so hard. Fuck. I’m already out the door now, can’t go back.

I do the riskiest thing and look over my shoulder. He was still looking at me. Shit, shit, shit. What do I do? Panic. Look away. FUCK. Why’d I look away? Oh my God.

I walk home, almost bumping into multiple people on the street because I was so lost in thought. I couldn’t get him out of my head. He was so gorgeous, and so sweet. I could’ve still been talking with him right now. Fuck me.

/Fast forward: One week\

He kept popping up into my head all week. When I’d watch a movie, there he was. When I’d be out getting some stuff from the store, there he was. When I’d be laying in bed at night trying to sleep, there he was. The sound of his voice, the sight of his smile, the feel of his hand. Fuck.

I need to find him.

I decide to go to the same bar I went to last week and the week before where I’d seen him, having the highest expectations.

I’m walking way faster than normal, passing everyone on the sidewalk as I make my way to the bar. Please, please, please, let him be there.

Okay, we’re in. Many people, many faces. I slowly walk through the crowd, frantically looking around for him. Fuck. Can’t see him. I sit down with a sigh, ordering some vodka. The liquid disappears quickly as I keep anxiously looking around for him, and soon there’s a new, full glass next to my empty one. I can feel myself getting drunker as I keep on drinking drink after drink. I’d never been a big drinker, but for some reason I couldn’t stop tonight. My sight is getting blurry and I’m starting to get dizzy as someone approaches me. My eyes light up as I recognise him, a big smile appearing on my face. I’m so relieved to see him and too drunk to care as I hug him. “Duff!” I exclaim. He chuckles and returns the hug, his strong arms wrapping around my waist. “Y/n!” He says in the same tone as me, although he’s doing it a little to mock me.

I pull back and sit on the chair I was previously sitting on, my hand coming to rest on his knee. “I was looking for you.” I tell him, my voice slurred. “Oh, yeah?” He chuckles, finding my drunken state amusing. “Mhm.” I nod, smiling goofily. I knew I was making a fool out of myself, but I didn’t realise that then in my drunkenness.

“How much did you drink, love?” His smile was making me melt. “Uh, I dunno. They took my empty glasses away.”

We talked for a bit, although it wasn’t all that since I was wasted.

“Maybe we should go home.” He suggests after some time.

“Awe, really? I don’t wanna leave you just yet, babe.” I pout slightly before breaking out into a smile. I playfully tug at his bottom lip with my thumb, finding it funny for some reason. I’d started calling him babe, not even noticing that I was doing it.

“Come. You can stay with me.” Holy shit. Is this happening?

He stood up, before offering his hand to pull me up. This is happening. I grin up at him and stumble slightly as I stand up, grabbing his arm to steady myself. He chuckles at me, sneaking his arm around my waist to keep me from falling. “I like how you think.” I murmur. I can’t keep my eyes off him as we make our way out the bar, resulting in me stumbling even more.

I lean heavily on him as we walk down the street to the parking lot, although he doesn’t seem to mind. He can easily hold me up, and I’m pretty sure that’s because he works out. Sexy.

There’s a bit of playful banter going on as we get to his car, and I smirk up at him as he helps me into the passenger’s seat. He grabs my seatbelt and leans over me to put it on, his arms flexing right in front of my face. He closes the door and hurries to the other side of the car, getting in and putting on his own seatbelt. Once he looks to the side, he sees that I’m already passed out cold. He chuckles and starts the car, pulling out of the parking lot while glancing over at me now and then.

After a few moments, I fall sideways in my sleep as he makes a turn, my head falling onto his shoulder. My hand instinctively reaches out to hold onto his arm, and I snuggle a little closer to him. He chuckles softly and places a kiss to the top of my head, before looking back at the road.

WASSUP SLUUUUTTSSSS

YES THERE WILL BE A PART TWO TO THIS DONT WORRY POOKIES

GUYS HERE IT IS

also dont mind how unrealistic the drunk thing is this is coming from a 13 year old guy called ben fucking bitterbal who has never drunk alcohol or been drunk so idk if u have tips on how to write it better just tell mr also

heres some more pics i didnt feel like dragging up to the top of this thing hihi

[xenonmoon]

I accidentally stumbled upon some Spider-man 2099 comics and since I can't watch across the spiderverse in theatres (photosensitivity sucks) and Miguel O'Hara has become a constant presence on my dash/home in almost literally every social I have I decided to give it a go and see who this guy is and why is the internet so obsessed with him all of a sudden I wrote down some notes while I was reading so here we go. Xenon reacts to Spider-man 2099

It's giving me a loooot of cyberpunk and blade runner vibes from here and ngl I dig it

I already notice the suit is a little different but not too much? The spikes in the forearms here are less noticeable at least. And I didn't remember ever seeing the webbing

I love this pose

Oh my god this is so me fr fr

PFFTDHFS I MADE A LOUD SNORT ok I like this guy

He seems like that type of 90s savage-edgy-I-hate-everyone guy, so far considering the context he's kinda funny

I don't know how much they've changed about his backstory in atsv so I'm writing it all down as it's told in the comics

So his father was a scientist working for this Alchemax and the corporation kinda groomed both since they were children to become their top tier geneticists and work for them. They've invested a lot on Miguel and they use it to have a hold on him, since he's the only guy not addicted to the Rapture which is a very nasty and genetically bound (?) drug only Alchemax is allowed to distribute.

The corporations is running genetic experiments to enhance human abilities and all of that using animals as source, the latest project was an attempt to replicate what happened to Spider-Man in ma marketable way

Except they've become pretty savage with it and started doing experiments on humans (starting with criminals) BEFORE it's confirmed to be safe. And the last one miserably failed (or grandiosely succeeded, depending on the point of view - the guy actually came back with super strength and all of that but he was a heavily disfigured mutant who tired to strangle O'Hara and died short after).

So Miguel said fuck this shit I'm out

(cw: drugs from there on)

... Except they poisoned his drink with a dose of Rapture and how he's screwed. "oh no worries Miguel we're not forcing you to stay" my ass.

fucking bastardssssssssss

FUCKING BASTARDSSSS

honestly though "rapture" as a name choice is sooooo 90s. I remember reading Infinity Crusade (1993) a few months ago and there too they made a big deal about something they called "the rapture". And goddess and holiness and penitence and sinners and REPENTTTT and other overly Christian stuff like demons that was littering everything I've read from that time (which is just all the Moon Knight stuff that got out in that period but-)

the satanic panic hit hard huh

So anyway if Miguel doesn't do anything to fight this rapture thing he's royally screwed and forced to keep working on them

So he remembers that for lab tests he was using his own genetic material so he's got a full backup of it pre-rapture and he's planning to use the machines at the lab to overwrite the changes the drug made

sound good to me, quite a solid plan

Except this guy, who Miguel insults regularly on daily basis, decides to take his petty vengeance switching the "clean" O'Hara backup with the one they're experimenting with for the spider project.

Well this is fine

AND ON TOP OF THAT HE'S TRYING TO SHIFT THE BLAME ON HIM

also naked Miguel O'Hara gents, you're welcome

Uh-oh

IT'S MORBING TIME

honestly I know vampires were massively popular in the 90s and it's kinda obvious they wanted to ride that wave and use the aesthetics to appeal to vampire fans and-

works for me

also how do those claws work? It feels a bit weird to see both nails AND claws, sort of like when you realise centaurs have 2 ribcages. Bit more redundant though, would've made more sense if he'd lost his original nails. Oh well.

He's me when I'm at my parents' house and my mother throws me out of my bed on Sunday morning at 8ish because THE EARLY BIRD CATCHES THE WORM DON'T YOU THINK YOU'VE SLEPT ENOUGH and I'm just left there confused af trying to figure out where I am, when I am, what day and year this is and what's exactly happening in my life

MOOD

big eh for the sexualised hologram house assistant, ok it's the 90s and it's a thing of the genre and all of that but I've read too many papers about sociological consequences of female-coded robots or assistants (in short: encourages closely associating the slave/servant role to women and it ends up affecting real women too. it's bad bad) to not be judging this very hard

His first thoughts about them claws was going to the bathroom and picking his nose, so valid of him

honest to god if I had claws I'd be constantly fidgeting with them pressing the fingertip to make them come out like you do with cats.

That's it for part 1, I will probably make a part 2 when I continue reading them

Honestly they suffer a bit from being born in the 90s but I'm enjoying them so far and I like the character. If he hasn't changed too much in the movie then ok I get it now

[definesanity]

The Weird Ones

Uzi Doorman was not your typical teenage girl. In fact, she was the farthest thing from it.

Her mom had managed to get her into college, bless her, and in Copper City, no less, but people STILL knew she was the daughter of Khan.

Greeeeeeeeeat.

Thankfully, there is someone who doesn't mind. Actually, a few.

First, Lizzy and Russian Doll. No, that is genuinely her name, and isn't bullied for it due to Lizzy. Lizzy is the atypical mean girl, and Doll is... well, a friend of her's, and a Russian transfer student.

Thad is cool. Not much to say other than, minus the ones he hangs out with, he's decent enough.

And, then, there are the last three. Who are, by far, the strangest.

Nathaniel, Victoria, and Jessica Elliot. Or, more commonly, for some reason, N, V, and J.

They're the adopted siblings of Tessa James(who calls their daughter James???) Elliot, a girl who is preeeeetty high up on the social ladder. N, as much as the guy is a golden retriever, is a nice guy at the end of the day.

Which then led her to meeting V and J, and then realising that she was gay as fuck.

She means. Come on! V walks around with that coat showing off her honkers and J is. Well she definitely awakened some things!

So, it came to Uzi. Alone. Groaning that she's single. Again. For like. The. Fifth time that day.

Her phone buzzed and her arm nearly dislocated at the speed at which she grabbed it.

It was a text from N:

Golden_Retrievers_Have_Gentl: Hey! Busy? Just wanna hang out and chat about something! :D

Uzi's reply was simple, but effective:

DarkXWolf17: pls holy shit i am so fucking bored rn. where u wanna meet

Golden_Retrieves_Have_Gentl: Outside of campus! I'll wait for ya! ;3

Finally, something to do.

---------------

Eh, it's not bad.

It is just. Chatting. But, to be honest, Uzi likes N's stories. They're pretty funny at times, especially when it's concerned over Tessa and her less-than-posh ways.

Still, N eventually paused, oddly enough, and made a thinking pose.

"Yo, Thinker, you doing okay?" Uzi was gonna kill herself later for caring.

"Eh? Oh, right, sorry! Just thinking, is all... so, um. Can I ask for a favour?"

"...What is it." Uzi didn't look amused.

"Hey, I'm not asking you to win the Election! It's just, you're single, right?"

"Thanks for the reminder." Uzi didn't look impressed, and N sucked in a whince.

"Yeeeeeah... well, not related, can you... keep an eye on my sister, please? I got a call from Tessa who happily reminded me I'm needed for something, soooooooo..."

"Oh, sure, yeah. Who is it? V? J?"

"Cyn!" N replied happily.

"Who." Uzi's flat expression could be framed in a museum. Or, heck, give her a record for "Most Flat Expression" so she can be famous for something *other* than being the spawn of Khan Fucking Doorman.

"...Oh, right, yeah! Um. She's the youngest, although we're all about the same age anyways, she's pretty short, has yellow eyes, and is really sweet!"

Uzi raised an eyebrow. "...Then how come I haven't seen her before, then?"

"She's homeschooled! She's a little, uh..."

"I heard you were. Talking shit. Big Brother."

"OH JESUS CHRISTMAS--" N jumped five feet into the air, and to the side, revealing to Uzi the most autistic girl she's ever seen in her entire life.

Cargo shorts. Fucking. Cargo. Shorts.

Cyn was, put simply, kinda cute. And also heavily autistic, from what Uzi can tell.

N whispered to her, *"Hey, just so you know, she's not doing that on purpose! She has a speech problem!"*

"Annoyed Expression. I can, hear you. Dickhead."

"OHLOOKATTHETIMEIGOTTAGOANDDASHNOWBYYYYYYYE!" N ran away, leaving behind a goth in a hoodie and beanie with an autistic college(???) girl with a t-shirt with Jenny Wakeman on it and cargo shorts.

"...'Annoyed Expression'?" Uzi quoted. It definitely was strange. But Uzi herself had scoured a 97% of of 100% for an autism test so she can't say shit.

"Mm. I heard that my, facial expressions are hard to, read." Cyn's voice was slightly deep, and her words were slowly spoken. Kinda like a robot. Neat.

"Therefore. Neutral Expression. I announce my, current expression." Cyn finished with a shrug.

"...Yeah, that's fair I guess. Still, does it get tiring?"

"Bemused Look. Does it not get hot, wearing black clothes?"

"Bite me." Uzi said by reflex. A habit she developed when she was younger that sticked with her even now.

"Fair."

-------------

From there, Uzi learnt three things:

Thing One: Cyn is highly autistic, yes, but underneath the 'tism was a pretty intelligent gal. Although most that knowledge was in robotics.

(I know you're reading this Archie, and I didn't say it at the time, but 'the 'tism' was the best thing I'd heard all day /gen --Ryuusei.)

Thing Two: 'Criss-Cross Applesauce' is now the funniest thing Uzi has ever heard.

Thing Three: Um.

...She was cute, okay??? Don't blame her! Bite her!

Which led to about a few months later. Wherein she was sitting down near some statue and N was looking at her patiently.

"...So I might be dating you sister." Uzi croaked out. She didn't look dead inside, but she has a feeling she will be dead on the outside sooner than later.

N, so far, took it well. "Oh! Um. Okay! I don't mind at all! Who is it? V? J?"

Uzi made a pained noise that sounded like that of a quiet banshee scream.

N then had his two braincells knock together.

At the same time Cyn leaned over Uzi, and waved, smiling.

N had a dial-up moment. "Wah???"

"Amused Expression. You look, surprised, Big Brother, N."

"Whajiah--YEAH???"

He gestured to Uzi. Uzi went near him, and he leaned next to her ear.

"Okay, I mean, I'm not mad, really! Just a little surprised! I mean, like. The claws???"

Uzi looked at Cyn. Her 'claws' are moreso just sharp nails.

"Spicy." Uzi replied with a smile.

N looked very confused.

Cyn went '^_^'

[tartsinarat]

Am I going to randomly dump post-canon lore stuff after not posting anything about it in months? Why yes, yes I am

So uh this is their first meeting…um Pip only survives this encounter through sheer audacity and sheer audacity alone as Saiph got too flustered to kill him as he wasn’t taking his death seriously enough so they spared him for now unless he were to continue to trespass on the titan trapper island

Basically how all this started is that Pip entered the titan trapper island without knowing it was the same one that Luz and king found years ago, he just thought it was completely abandoned… Pip was originally only going to be there for maybe a couple nights just as a rest stop back to the boiling isles…

That was until he kept on finding a lot of archeological evidence and sites that relate to the titan and archivist war which he wanted to study and draw up close to avoid having to come back to this isles as he had felt like something was watching him the entire time

Btw that was Saiph that was creepily stalking him the entire time because they were trying to figure why tf a human is just casually strolling around extremely holy sites of the grand huntsman without a care in the world but they didn’t want to attack just yet because they wanted to gather enough backup just in case this human ends up being as slippery and dangerous as the last one that came.

Anyways Saiph ended up having to act extremely quickly against Pip and had to loose all their plans of convincing the others for help because they slipped up, stepped on a tree branch and broke it which altered Pip to their presence.

Pip wasn’t too bothered at Saiph stalking him as it’s actually something he’s had to deal with a lot when exploring different isles as the locals have typically have never seen a stranger let alone a human before so they always tend to watch quietly in the background and run away if noticed… unfortunately for Pip, Saiph doesn’t give a fuck and is extremely trained soldier that has just decided to kill him at all costs.

It was an extremely one sided fight as Pip isn’t bothered to fight anyone anymore and would just prefer to straight up die if he were to be in a life or death match.

Interestingly enough this is not a love at first sight situation for either of them, Pip only called Saiph beautiful because he was amazed and intrigued by the swiftness and grace that Saiph had when trying to kill him, they were extremely straight to the point in killing him which Pip was secretly extremely grateful..

By Pip saying his thoughts out loud without realising it, it caused Saiph to completely loose their grip because why would someone their about to kill call them beautiful or not even bother fighting back their entire time

So Saiph decided to let Pip leave alive because they both hoped he could give some more insight later on so they could try to make sense of him a bit better but also because they didn’t want to take a life that wasn’t fighting back

Basically I rewatched Princess Mononoke for the hundredth time, saw this scene and was like damn actually this is so Pip and Saiph

[mihrsuri]

For @herawell specifically - some of my headcanons re OT3 verse Henry’s past relationships with men pre Thomas.

This man does not in fact have any problem with the fact that he’s attracted to men and women. I really knew that from the first - there’s a line that Wolsey thinks in Rewrite The Stars 2.0 about how yes obviously Sodomites Are Evil Sinners but not people who love those of the same sex or both and that was really where Henry landed as soon as he realised I kind of just wanted to write him having zero angst about it like yes, the Lord is obviously fine with me here.

The scene I’m not writing is actually Henry’s threesome with two sex workers who later on are like ‘…WAIT WAS THAT HIS MAJESTY AND WAS HE INTO SLEEPING WITH HIS QUEEN AND HIS LORD CHANCELLOR AND WATCHING THEM…taking that one to our grave because No One Will Believe It But Holy Shit’ (Henry is like I Am Not Acknowledging My Desires At This Stage which makes it awkward as fuck also this was when he was with Jane. I think. It would contain a realistic depiction of 16th century sex work but I cannot actually write it because Trauma Brain but the headcanon is there).

Henry and Will Compton were friends who had sex with each.

People actually did not know, mostly because Henry was also really into women/he was actually faithful to Catherine for like, at least a while/it just seemed implausible to people

No really he and Will just kind of slept together as friends it was cool.

Whatever The Fuck Charles Had No Idea Thing was going on there as well (I actually don’t tend to see OT3 verse Henry as being into Charles and Charles has absolutely no conscious idea he’s into Henry but yeah, that dynamic).

His male lovers tend to be honestly, he has some as a younger man very much in the vibe of ‘goes to masked orgy’ because uh, yeah. So no one really clocks it - like sure this man enjoys sex (I’m drawing from TV Henry a bit/a lot here) but no one thinks he also enjoys it with men.

I’d say the encounter(s) in 1534-6 are just…It’s Not Great At All.

[pbaintthetb]

Invincible s2e5

It's here, it's here!! Some of my thoughts. Spoilers ahead

"He's never on the hook for the lives he destroys. Just leaves it for everyone else to clean up. Again and again." -> incredible

Brothers eh!! and also Debbie saying mark must get his nobility/reluctance to abandon people from her side ;-)))), especially since this is like one of if not the only time mark is compared to his mum and not his dad. (Whether it's a you're nothing like you're dad, you will be your dad, your dad doesn't influence my view on you)

debbie taking time off work ot look after mark's brother just after they all said they wer so glad she was back :-(( I get that she priortises mark's education though

oop the donald sub plot, forgot about that but now Im hella intrigued again, he a cyberman, though he's the six million dollar man to hear Cecil tell it (we can rebuild him...)

william boxed up mark's stuff.... oof that must have been rough (for william i mean, assuming he's dead)

cecil stfu and stop being a creeper- although if he wasn't like that he wouldn't be cecil, his job is to be a bastard in order to do what he deems necessary

"He's an alien. We're more qualified to take care of him."- very ominous very uncomfortable, glad to see mark isn't having any of it but still. actually ingernal loving mark's convo with cecil

Cecil's little side eye at the end, he's scared ohohoh. and that petty "im sureyour mum will love ooking after her ex's kid" like uh, no but she said she'll do it for mark and otherwise mark will do it so so?

Mark and Amber are cool, and yeah it's nice to see him listening to her problems even if maybe it's revealing that uh... yeah he can't be there for her and that's complicated (as mark said)

Rudy and monster girl is intersing, like i get why she's pissed and i get where he's coming from

DECEASED they all knew he was from mars.Almost disappointed because him desperately trying to be human was hilarious but also this reveal was the funniest fucking thing so, even his reveal felt so unhuman

also how noble and excited the abckstory is until the awkard... so I sort of tried to kill him but I didn't even do that right and now he's coming to earth to kill us all possessed by a hive creature

"No, before, I was lying. Now I'm telling the truth. It's very different." hilarious, might steal that.

Rex, gonna go OOC real quick, then pan to Atom Eve AMV... iconic, I wonder what this could mean /s

Ok I was like, stop commenting on everything but like Rex is a prick but the absolute funniest, saying that maybe Eve's parents WANT her to be abducted because they still haven't fixed her broken window lock killed me

also more seriously actually the familiarity with which they talk and rex moves around eve's room (the l atter would be weird if it weren't so obvious eve could make him stop if she wanted) is great? Because yeah they dated for a while, like they should know each other even if they don't get on anymore and it's great to see the evidence of that Similarly the fact taht Eve reveals at teh end she knew rex just wanted something but that she also does think he genuinely helped her see that she helps people

Man, mark :-( spread too thin, and he's realising it but what is the way out?? Butter spread over too much bread and you can't just put it back in the tin

Shapesmith's intonation and diction and also just his timing of what he says is, mwah, chefs kiss, incredibel

when is the shapesmith show coming, we've already had "Allan"???

was gonna say "nice fight scenes" then kate happened, and i mean they're still good but oh fuck holy shit oh god hog do

.um. well post the homeward guardians fight all I have to say is that it seems that Rex is ranking guardian after all.

Or um, them some cliff hangers amirite, sure do hope everybody is fine

but no did like Rex's last line of the episode and also King lizard's smarmy evil pragmatism ooh very nice.

[greenteabelle]

hc that billy is a weird fucking dude ( affectionate ) that's like super possessive , especially over stu . i also hc that stu bruises easily , so billy views that as a way to sorta mark his ownership over stu but like , discreetly . and stu just goes with it because he's like , it's billy . he knows he's weird .

“Holy fuck, Macher. what's that on your hips?”

“Huh?” Stu asks distractedly, following his gaze to where randy is pointing with a horrified expression. belatedly, he realises that his shirt was, in fact, too small and had ridden up to reveal a smattering of purple and yellow bruises all over his hips. “Oh.”

Before Stu can tug his shirt back down, Randy already has his hand on the hem, pulling it further up. It reveals more discoloured spots around his waist. Randy doesn't notice how the marks can line up to form handprints. “Dude, what the fuck? Did you get beat up or something?”

Stu laughs and swats Randy's hand away, tucking his shirt in properly. “Of course not, dipshit. Who the fuck aims for the waist?”

“I don't know! How else could you explain these?”

In any other case, Stu would tease Randy relentlessly, but seeing the genuine concern in his eyes makes him reconsider. Randy looks like he doesn't know where to put his hands, yet he hovers closely, fretting over him like a mom. Instead, Stu just messes up his hair, cackling at the indignant squawks that follow.

“Look, man. Don't ask questions you don't want answers to, if you know what I'm saying.” Stu says, waggling his eyebrows exaggeratedly to further cement the implications. “But if you really want to know…”

As expected, Randy gags and shoves him away, though his touch still remains careful. “Ew, gross dude! I don't wanna hear about your weird sex life, but man. You're into this shit?”

It takes a few moments to consider the alternatives, whether it's worth going along with it, but Stu shrugs with an easy smile. “There's nothing more sexy than a possessive woman, let me tell you that, Meeks. When you finally stop being a loser and get a girl, you'll understand.”

“I-I do get girls, I just,” Randy splutters, his cheeks reddening, “I haven't found the right one yet…”

“Uh huh, good luck with that buddy.” Stu grins wolfishly, pinching the boy's cheek for extra measure. Randy scowls, slapping his hand away. “Maybe if you actually got some practice you'd find your true love by now.”

“Oh yeah?” Randy scoffs, rubbing at his cheek. “And who am I supposed to practise with? You?”

Again, Stu shrugs. He leans in conspiratorially, lowering his voice into a whisper.

“For a good price, I'd do- Jesus fucking Christ, Billy!” Stu jumps at the sensation of a hand snaking around his waist to grip his hip, his back suddenly pressed against another very warm, very familiar body. He instinctively tries to move, only to be pressed firmly in place by the punishing hold at the crook of his waist. “When the fuck did you get here?”

“Just now.” Billy smirks. “Hey, Randy. What were you two talking about?”

That seems to reignite the life in Randy, who looked moments from passing out thanks to the scare. He snaps out of it and points at Stu's waist or, rather, Billy's hand. “Have you seen Stu's bruises? They look crazy, man.”

“What bruises?”

“These ones.” Stu says, immediately tugging his shirt up and angling his body so Billy can have a better view. It's a bit of a bad idea, because Billy doesn't have time to react. So instead of letting go, his fingers end up caressing Stu's skin, the contact both unfamiliar yet electrifying. He barely suppresses a shiver from it, though it probably doesn't escape Billy's notice even as he lets go. “Randy caught a peek because my shirt fucking shrunk, no thanks to my sister.”

Something akin to satisfaction flashes in Billy's eyes, but that could also be Stu hallucinating. “Oh, those bruises?”

“You've known about the sex bruises?”

Billy laughs, his thumb circling the sharp angle of the hip bone discreetly. Stu is honestly surprised that Randy doesn't see it. “Of course I've seen them. We literally change in front of each other.” Billy carefully pulls Stu's shirt down, not before leaving another longing caress to those marks before adjusting the sling of his bag. “Anyway, school's fucking over. If y'all wanna stay here, be my guest.”

Randy whips up his wrist to check the time and curses, quickly shrugging on his backpack. “Shit, my mom's gonna kill me! See you tomorrow!”

As soon as Randy disappears out the door, Billy casually steps in front of Stu. Placing both hands on the desk he’s sitting on, Stu is caged in. “So.”

Stu tilts his head, slightly confused. “So?”

“Sex bruises, huh?”

“What else was I gonna say?” Stu laughs, swatting at Billy's wandering hands. “That you're so fucking strong that you leave bruises on me? That's gonna sound even weirder man.”

Randy already thinks that Billy is creepy. If he hears that he also likes leaving bruises and on Stu out of all people? They'll be lucky if he doesn't just bolt to the police for that.

Stu slings on his bag and moves to leave, raising an eyebrow when Billy doesn't budge. “Anyway. We still watching Nightmare on Elm Street or no?”

Billy stares into his eyes for a few more lingering moments, before he huffs a laugh and steps back.

“Of course we are.”