#ALSO no where to put it in this post but i love sam and alice's friendship sosososo much

[spooksier]

ok here's my hot magnus protocol theory: the gifted kids program was really a program meant to find a new archivist (which explains why gerry (eye-aligned) and sam (EYE-ALIGNED, SPEEDRUNNING GETTING HIS ASS CEASELESSLY WATCHED) were there) (and could also explain the artifact storage category of 'catalyst') and [error] is a failed archivist trapped beneath the archives until sam and alice unknowingly freed them.....

also sam still searching for answers for why he wasn't chosen even all these years later to the point where he has the voice of the ceaseless watcher's former special little boy egging him on tells me he may have been a better candidate for archivist than the institute realized. which. bad news for sam. great news for us, the viewers.

[astreiants-archive]

a sapphic lit primer 🌸

also known as, an opportunity to insist you read my favourites

if you’ve ever found yourself wanting to read more sapphic books, but not quite sure where to start, let this be the post for you! if you’re looking for even more sapphic books, i hope you find something in here too.

there are a few books on here i’ve not read, that i wanted to include to raise awareness of them, more than anything. those are marked by *. as such, you will probably also see a fair few more well known books and authors missed off (but i promise i know about them!).

this is not meant to be at all exhaustive! it’s a collection of sapphic books that i’ve read and would rec, meaning there are still tons more out there. & you can find some of those more at @sapphicreadsdb​, readsrainbow (which i co-run with @tenderpotter), sapphiclitbot on twitter & my list of every sapphic book i’ve read.

as ever, this was meant to be a relatively short post. haha.

(i promise i did put links on this post, but for some reason those aren’t working on the blog page. dashboard version seems fine, i think.)

🌼  middle grade

🌻  contemporary

hurricane child by kacen callender

in the role of brie hutchens... by nicole melleby

hazel hill is gonna win this one by maggie horne

candidly cline by kathryn ormsbee

how to become a planet by nicole melleby

proud of me by sarah hagger-holt

the science of being angry by nicole melleby

middletown by sarah moon

p.s. i miss you by jen petro-roy*

almost flying by jake maia arlow*

in the key of us by mariama j lockington*

kenzie kickstarts a team by kit rosewater & sophie escabasse*

⚔️  fantasy

the strangeworlds travel agency by ld lapinski

the tea dragon society by kay o’neill*

📜  historical

tell no tales by sam maggs & kendra wells*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

goldie vance by hope larson

pepper’s rules for secret sleuthing by briana mcdonald

drew leclair gets a clue by katryn bury*

🦇  paranormal/horror

artie and the wolf moon by olivia stephens

🧪  science fiction

our sister, again by sophie cameron

🌼  young adult

🌻  contemporary

we are okay by nina lacour

this is what it feels like by rebecca barrow

the gay girl’s guide to ruining prom by siera maley

the liar’s guide to the night sky by brianna r. shrum

i kissed shara wheeler by casey mcquiston

the flywheel by erin gough

amelia westlake by erin gough

how to make a wish by ashley herring blake

taking flight by siera maley

like water by rebecca podos

don’t date rosa santos by nina moreno

all the invisible things by orlagh collins

orpheus girl by brynne rebele-henry

the henna wars by adiba jaigirdar

you should see me in a crown by leah johnson

love and other natural disasters by misa sugiura

rise to the sun by leah johnson

epically earnest by molly horan

if you still recognise me by cynthia so

truth be told by sue divin

thieves by lucie bryon

ask the passengers by a. s. king

starting from here by lisa jenn bigelow

annie on my mind by nancy garden

laura dean keeps breaking up with me by mariko tamaki

the stars and the blackness between them by junauda petrus

the last true poets of the sea by julia drake

i kissed alice by anna birch

fiebre tropical by juliana delgado lopera

melt my heart by bethany rutter

laurel everywhere by erin moynihan

every body looking by candace iloh

something certain, maybe by sara barnard

⚔️  fantasy

a dark and hollow star by ashley shuttleworth

the scapegracers by h. a. clarke

girl, serpent, thorn by melissa bashardoust

down comes the night by allison saft

engelsfors by mats strandberg & sara b. elfgren

summer of salt by katrina leno

from dust, a flame by rebecca podos

spellbook of the lost and found by moïra fowley-doyle

girls made of snow and glass by melissa bashardoust

out of the blue by sophie cameron

witch, cat & cobb by j. k. pendragon

girls of paper and fire by natasha ngan

the afterward by e. k. johnston

the never tilting world by rin chupeco

the midnight lie by marie rutkoski

the dark tide by alicia jasinska

the midnight girls by alicia jasinska

sweet & bitter magic by adrienne tooley

wench by maxine kaplan

way of the argosi by sebastian de castell

ash by malinda lo

the raven and the reindeer by t. kingfisher

the last magician by lisa maxwell

shatter the sky by rebecca kim wells

we set the dark on fire by tehlor kay mejia

queen of coin and whispers by helen corcoran

ghost wood song by erica waters

these feathered flames by alexandra overy

the bone spindle by leslie vedder

into the crooked place by alexandra christo

edie in between by laura sibson

crier’s war by nina varela

the winter duke by claire bartlett

sofi and the bone song by adrienne tooley*

girls at the edge of the world by laura brooke robson*

dauntless by elisa a. bonnin*

📜  historical

dangerous remedy by kat dunn

forgive me if i’ve told you this before by karelia stetz-waters

the pearl thief by elizabeth wein

heavy vinyl by carly usdin & nina vakueva

valiant ladies by melissa grey*

a curse of roses by diana pinguicha*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

far from you by tess sharpe

the girls i’ve been by tess sharpe

people like us by dana mele

summer’s edge by dana mele

the truth about keeping secrets by savannah brown

i hope you’re listening by tom ryan

eight pieces of silva by patrice lawrence

bad things happen here by rebecca barrow

the things we don’t see by savannah brown

the hollow inside by brooke lauren davis

throwaway girls by andrea contos

you’re next by kylie schachte

a lesson in vengeance by victoria lee

the sullivan sisters by kathryn ormsbee

cold by mariko tamaki

the killing code by ellie marney*

rules for vanishing by kate alice marshall*

🦇  paranormal/horror

the dead and the dark by courtney gould

to break a covenant by alison ames

shallow graves by kali wallace

wilder girls by rory power

afterlove by tanya byrne

house of hollow by krystal sutherland

specter inspectors by bowen mccurdy

burn down, rise up by vincent tirado

hollow by shannon watters & branden boyer-white

missing, presumed dead by emma berquist

perfectly preventable deaths by deirdre sullivan*

the dark beneath the ice by amelinda bérubé*

ghost walk by kay solo*

🧪  science fiction

joyride by jackson lanzing & collin kelly

crownchasers by rebecca coffindaffer

the good luck girls by charlotte nicole davis

cosmoknights by hannah templer

jane, unlimited by kristin cashore*

🌼  adult

🌻  contemporary

summer of the cicadas by chelsea catherine

take a hint, dani brown by talia hibbert

in the event of love by courtney kae

night tide by anna burke

beautiful world, where are you by sally rooney

spell heaven and other stories by toni mirosevich

far from home by lorelie brown

once ghosted, twice shy by alyssa cole

spindrift by anna burke

cow girl by kirsty eyre

the split by laura kay

tell me everything by laura kay

everyone in this room will someday be dead by emily austin

transcendent kingdom by yaa gyasi

the fat lady sings by jacqueline roy

conversations with friends by sally rooney

flamingo by rachel elliott

the wrong end of the telescope by rabih alameddine

a map of home by randa jarrar

mostly dead things by kristen arnett

patsy by nicole dennis-benn

little fish by casey plett

undone by bryce oakley

satisfaction guaranteed by karelia stetz-waters

tack & jibe by lilah suzanne

all at sea by cheyenne blue

i kissed a girl by jennet alexander

january embers by hildred billings

the simple answer by lily seabrooke

under the rainbow by celia laskey

the world cannot give by tara isabella burton

la bastarda by trifonia melibea obono

the one hundred years of lenni and margot by marianne cronin

all are welcome by liz parker

the romance recipe by ruby barrett

disoriental by négar djavadi*

the thirty names of night by zeyn joukhadar*

bastard out of carolina by dorothy allison*

among other things, i’ve taken up smoking by aoibheann sweeney*

marriage of a thousand lies by s. j. sindu*

honey girl by morgan rogers*

too much lip by melissa lucashenko*

delilah green doesn’t care by ashley herring blake*

the secret lives of church ladies by deesha philyaw*

the barrens by kurt & ellie johnson*

28 questions by indyana schneider*

there are more things by yara rodrigues fowler*

⚔️  fantasy

the unbroken by c. l. clark

the jasmine throne by tasha suri

wild and wicked things by francesca may

the true queen by zen cho

isola by brenden fletcher

the impossible contract by k. a. doore

foundryside by robert jackson bennett

the traitor baru cormorant by seth dickinson

the empress of salt and fortune by nghi vo

the bone shard daughter by andrea stewart

blackheart knights by laure eve

the velocity of revolution by marshall ryan maresca

the gracekeepers by kirsty logan

in the vanishers’ palace by aliette de bodard

the priory of the orange tree by samantha shannon

thorn by anna burke

penhallow amid passing things by iona datt sharma

sing the four quarters by tanya huff

city of lies by sam hawke

moontangled by stephanie burgis

burning roses by s. l. huang

a master of djinn by p. djèlí clark

ashes of the sun by django wexler

fireheart tiger by aliette de bodard

bestiary by k-ming chang

the black coast by mike brooks

night flowers shirking from the light of the sun by li xing

the councillor by e. j. beaton

silverglass by j. f. rivkin

water horse by melissa scott

high times in the low parliament by kelly robson

into the broken lands by tanya huff

the fire opal mechanism by fran wilde

among thieves by m. j. kuhn

the factory witches of lowell by c. s. malerich

the forever sea by joshua phillip johnson

the final strife by saara el-arifi

brother red by adrian selby

the winged histories by sofia samatar

the vanished queen by lisbeth campbell*

the northern girl by elizabeth a. lynn*

the bladed faith by david dalglish*

the worthy by anna k. moss*

📜  historical

the wicked cometh by laura carlin

the pull of the stars by emma donoghue

she who became the sun by shelley parker-chan

infamous by lex croucher

devotion by hannah kent

under the udala trees by chinelo okparanta

after the wedding by courtney milan

heathen by natasha alterici

mrs martin’s incomparable adventure by courtney milan

the night watch by sarah waters

tell it to the bees by fiona shaw

kept animals by kate milliken

a lady’s desire by lily maxton

the ophelia girls by jane healey

that green eyed girl by julie owen moylan

the perks of loving a wallflower by erica ridley

the companion by e. e. ottoman

her countess to cherish by jane walsh

paris, 7a.m. by liza wieland*

mademoiselle revolution by zoe sivak*

dark earth by rebecca stott*

⁉️  mystery/thriller

dirt town by hayley scrivenor

the lighthouse by fran dorricott

after the eclipse by fran dorricott

the final child by fran dorricott

proper english by k. j. charles

the last place you look by kristen lepionka

the better liar by tanen jones

fortune favors the dead by stephen spotswood

real easy by marie rutkoski

the best bad things by katrina carrasco

the case of the good-for-nothing girlfriend by mabel maney

the kill club by wendy heard

bury the lede by gaby dunn

beloved poison by e. s. thomson

the lady upstairs by halley sutton

ash mountain by helen fitzgerald

last call at the nightingale by katharine schellman

return to blackwater house by vikki patis

payback by charlotte mills*

a reason to kill by eve zaremba*

the heard by andrea bartz*

snare by lilja sigurðardóttir*

amateur city by katherine v. forrest*

the savage kind by john copenhaver*

the dime by kathleen kent*

the verifiers by jane pek*

🦇  paranormal/horror

abbott by saladin ahmed

the animals at lockwood manor by jane healey

black water sister by zen cho

hearts in the hard ground by g. v. anderson

they drown our daughters by katrina monroe

meddling kids by edgar cantero

yellow jessamine by caitlin starling

our wives under the sea by julia armfield

briefly, a delicious life by nell stevens

dead woman’s pond by elle e. ire

tripping arcadia by kit mayquist*

🧪  science fiction

a memory called empire by arkady martine

this is how you lose the time war by max gladstone & amal el-mohtar

the unspoken name by a. k. larkwood

the space between worlds by micaiah johnson

dead space by kali wallace

the quantum thief by hannu rajaniemi

ninefox gambit by yoon ha lee

ancillary justice by ann leckie

motor crush by brenden fletcher & cameron stewart

unconquerable sun by kate elliott

compass rose by anna burke

a big ship at the end of the universe by alex white

the light brigade by kameron hurley

empress of forever by max gladstone

the doors of eden by adrian tchaikovsky

seven of infinities by aliette de bodard

hard reboot by django wexler

last exit by max gladstone

sisters of the vast black by lina rather

gods, monsters, and the lucky peach by kelly robson

so happy for you by celia laskey

battle of the linguist mages by scotto moore

bluebird by ciel pierlot

an ancient peace by tanya huff

god’s war by kameron hurley*

barbary station by r. e. stearns*

this will kill that by danielle l. roux*

valkyrie by meg ludwa*

night sky mine by melissa scott*

the stars undying by emery robin*

🌼  poetry

if not, winter by sappho, trans. by anne carson

floating, brilliant, gone by franny choi

evohe by cristina peri rossi

bestiary by donika kelly

soft science by franny choi

rummage by ife-chudeni a. oputa

the world keeps ending and the world goes on by franny choi

bone by yrsa daley-ward

dream work by mary oliver

living as a lesbian by cheryl clarke*

womanslaughter by pat parker*

oral tradition by jewelle l. gómez*

the black unicorn by audre lorde*

hermetic definition by h.d.*

[autisticwriterblog]

Fandom 50 Post 13

My eleventh piece of Alan Wake 2 meta. This one is about Initiation 4.

Initiation 4: We Sing

What happened in this chapter?

Alan wakes up in the Writer’s Room and realises that the Dark Presence stopped him escaping earlier. He sits down to write another manuscript to write himself out of the Dark Place.

Once again, Alan finds himself backstage at Mr. Door’s talk show. On the TV, Mr. Door talks about putting on a performance of a song called Herald of Darkness, but mentions that he prefers to call it The Story of the Journey of Alan Wake: The Musical. Interacting with the TV transports Alan to a huge set, where music starts playing as images flash up on the large screens. And the musical begins.

As Alan walks through the set, a song plays, performed by Mr. Door, the Old Gods of Asgard and Alan himself. Throughout the song, everyone sings and dances on the screens around the studio, pointing Alan in the right direction. After a while, Alan gets armed with a flashlight and handgun, and later a flare gun, which are very useful when he comes under attack by enemies.

The lyrics sing about different parts of Alan’s life, starting with his childhood fear of the dark and how his mother gave him the Clicker. Second, the song talks about Alan’s rise to fame as an author and the issues it caused him. Third, they sing about Alan and Alice arriving at Bright Falls at the beginning of Alan Wake 1, and Alan’s encounters with the Taken.

Finally, Alan ends up backstage again, thinking the musical is over. But when he leaves the room, the music continues, this time Alan singing a slow song about how he needs to bring the song to its end. Alan then uses his plot board to make an end for the song. He is then transported back to the studio, where he takes part in one last rendition of Herald of Darkness, complete with a dance number.

Partway through the song and dance, Alan wanders away and takes a sip of his drink before collapsing into his chair, at which point the song finally ends. Alan then finds himself in the now empty studio, and encounters Ahti humming the song to himself. And when he leaves the room, the chapter ends.

My Thoughts

Along with Old Gods, this is my favourite chapter in the game. As shown with Alan Wake and Control, Remedy are very good at making action segments of their games soundtracked to an amazing song by the Old Gods of Asgard, and Alan Wake 2 is no exception. Herald of Darkness is an amazing song and this entire chapter is so fun. No matter how many times I play this game, I always spend the entire chapter with a massive smile on my face.

It is so fun seeing all the characters on the screens as you progress through the level. Door’s facial expressions are amazing, Sam Lake looks like he’s having the time of his life, and Alan looks confused that he’s taking part in the musical the first place. I also love that the Old Gods will point you in the right direction, and you can watch them rocking out while performing the song. At least for me, it’s easy to get distracted watching everything on the screens and take ages to complete the chapter.

Right before Alan sits down and the musical ends for good, a lovely little smile appears on his face. Alan has been trapped in the Dark Place for thirteen years and is clearly traumatised by what he’s been through, so it’s really sweet to see him smile. It might be the first time he has enjoyed himself in thirteen long years and I find that really lovely (but also sad).

At the end of the chapter, I adore the fact that Ahti is humming along to the song. But like most people who’ve only heard a song once, he doesn’t know all the words, and mumbles the bits he doesn’t know. It’s also very sweet that Alan mentions that the song is catchy; it clearly grew on him as he took part in the musical.

[marmolita]

Magnus protocol 1&2 thoughts! Here be spoilers and also spoilers for TMA! Also fyi I'm gonna be tagging with "the magnus protocol" for tmagp stuff and continuing to use the fandom name plus "spoilers" for anything spoilery.

Stuff I like:

Diving right in with the majorly fucked up "statements," 100% here for it!!! I liked the second one better than the first because I felt like I actually understood what was going on in it better, and it was sufficiently fucked and creepy.

I like the idea that this is basically like the archive, but it's in a different form where they have to read/listen to/watch the statements and then categorize and file them

I ♥️ Sam, he's wonderful so far 😍

Gwen is fascinating and I appreciate a girl who's a stickler for filing things properly (I'm an Amy Santiago type of person myself). I'm interested to see how things go with her and definitely interested to see what goes on with her and Lena

Lena 👀👀 who is she? how did she get here? how much is she in the know? Presumably she's aware that she's running basically a Beholding archive but also presumably this universe does not have a living Jonah Magnus so her backstory is probably very different.

Jon and Martin zapped into the computer like Freakazoid is a great callback to the computer ep from tma and that they're not really alive in the same way they were before (assuming ofc it's them). I'm definitely interested to see who else is in there with them 👀

I like the way the statements start off in computerized voices and then gradually fade to normal voice and then back again 👍

Stuff I don't like:

Probably unpopular opinion: I absolutely cannot stand Alice. I want to like her and I'm hoping that the storyline will change my mind, but she's just kind of a jerk? Like the whole "go ask Colin about the app" thing was just a dick move, and the aggressive irreverence comes off as rude and irritating to me. Presumably she has a tragic backstory and this is some kind of put-on act to cover up her emotional turmoil but would it hurt to be a little nicer to people? Gwen is rude too but she's owning it, not pretending that she's nice. As a listener I feel like I'm expected to find Gwen disagreeable but I'm expected to find Alice charming, and I really, really don't.

The audio in the break room is terrible. I assume part of this is that we're supposed to be listening from the perspective of an electronic device, maybe a copy machine that's around the corner or something, and I get that, but I cannot fucking hear what they're saying. I'm usually either listening in the car or in an environment with lots of other sounds and it's just inaudible for me.

This is true for some other sections as well, though the break room is the worst. I have enough trouble just understanding accents sometimes since I'm not British (I watch all BBC tv shows with the captions turned on 😅) so when audibility is low this becomes even harder.

Some of the transitions were unclear. I loved the artist statement, but it was not clear to me who was listening to it, how it was getting played, or what was going on. I'm not familiar enough with the voices yet to identify people and for a minute I thought Lena was taking a statement in person.

I assume I'll figure this out in time, but I can't tell Lena and Gwen apart.

MY SOFTWARE PROFESSIONAL NITPICKS oh my god I know this is an eldritch abomination of a computer system but some of the technobabble is just conflicting! If it's ancient, then it can't be breaking when it auto updates, because 1) your OS and SW did not auto update back then, and 2) if it's been around and auto updating for years it would be newer and not ancient anymore! There was some other technobabble I can't recall at the moment that bothered me too, which I'll probably remember five minutes after making this post. These are all nitpicks that are only annoying to me because software is my day job though so I will accept them.

[akkrosu]

My Favorite Books of 2023

After seeing everyone’s end-of-the-year QL posts and having a look at my meticulous list of books I read this year, I was a little inspired to write up something myself, just not about QLs but books. I’ve been trying to be more vocal about things I like, and post things for myself, and only myself. So I don’t even care how long this is, and just have fun with it.

In terms of literature, this year was pretty slow for me (with only 48 finished books, about half of what it used to be, probably because I’ve been watching so many QLs) and fairly limited to the YA genre because I got stuck with high-school and college stories and haven’t really moved on since. But still I managed to put together the 10 I enjoyed most. Books (like shows) are very subjective to me in that it takes the right one at the right time for me to fall in love with it, so take every one of these with a grain of salt, I guess.

I’m not including any danmei I’m reading because they are so separate from other books to me in what they are and how they work that I can’t be objective with them. Also, I don’t care when any of these books came out, all that matters to me is that I read them for the first time this year.

1. The Inexplicable Logic of my Life by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

This might be my favorite book out of those on this list. I knew I loved Benjamin Alire Sáenz’s poetic and reflective writing after I read Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe, but this one hit all the right spots for me in a way I can’t compare to any other book I’ve read. It tells the story of a 17-year-old boy named Salvador, his close friends, and his gay father, who go through a million setbacks and tragedies and learn the meaning of life—in its essence, it’s a book about growing up and grieving and living. This author has a way of being painfully real while also wrapping everything in a beautiful language that makes it all even more real and touching. Two of my favorite quotes:

“I wanted to tell (my father) that all the awful things that happened in the old world were dead. And the new world, the world we lived in now, the world we were creating, that world would be better. But I didn’t say it, because I wasn’t sure it was true.”

“I realized that Sam wasn’t angry at all. She was hurt. At that moment I heard all the hurt she’d ever held. And it seemed to me that the whole house had quieted down to listen to her pain.”

2. If You Could See the Sun by Ann Liang

I read this around the beginning of the year, so my memory isn’t the best, but I still love it like I did back then. In the story, Alice, the only scholarship student at a Chinese school for the Rich and Powerful, suddenly starts turning invisible and, due to financial and other pressures on her, decides to turn these new ‘powers’ into profit by obtaining information for classmates and selling it to them. The whole thing starts out pretty innocent, but the requests become more and more severe and dangerous, and Alice essentially has to decide where she draws the line and caves in to all the pressures surrounding her. It’s essentially critical commentary about Chinese society while taking a look at the blurry lines between good and bad, all wrapped in a modern story with fantastical elements.

3. Iron Widow by Xiran Jay Zhao

I finished this book only a few days ago, so I’m still in my feels about it. Even though it’s a little sci-fi and not at all like the books I usually read—what with the army of powerful heroes using giant transforming robots to fight a war against mechatron aliens that eerily remind me of insects—, it absolutely grabbed me with its narration full of incredibly precise and succinct descriptions, balanced out by lines so funny that they had me cackling, and incredible character depth (which, to me, is often the most important thing). Wu Zetian as a main character was compelling to follow, because she is so strong and true to what she wants, rising to power while killing everyone in her path. And the poly storyline brought a lot of joy to my heart, because we get so little of it in YA literature. Plus, it was really nice to read a book examining gender roles without feeling dysphoric even once, which I think was only possible because it was written by a fellow enby person. Some more favorite quotes:

“Where does jealousy come from, if not an insecurity that I’ll lose you because of him? But that’s not how it works, no matter how many people believe it so. You’re not something to be kept or taken, and love isn’t some scarce resource to battle over. Love can be infinite, as much as your heart can be open.”

“Perks of refusing to play by the rules: you don’t have to choose between the boy who’d torture a man to death with you and the boy who’d welcome you back with pastries after.”

“It’s as if I’ve got a cocoon shriveled too tightly around my whole being. If I had my way, I’d exist like that butterfly, giving onlookers no easy way to bind me with a simple label.”

4. Imogen, Obviously by Becky Albertalli

I hit this phase around the middle of the year where I was craving some sapphic romance novels, and this one fell right into my hands. I remember I started this on the 12-hour flight back from China, and it gripped me so hard I finished it in about a day, even though I guess nothing about it is super unique. It’s just a love story about a soon-to-be college student falling for her childhood friend’s new college friend while visiting campus, even though said childhood friend told everyone they are exes. I guess what I really liked about it is the exploration of community, especially queer community, because the protagonist often feels at war between starting to have feelings for a girl and not thinking she fits into what she believes queer people are or should be, causing her to repeatedly deny the possibility of her being queer. Plus, I love deeper thoughts and reflections under the guise of a simple romance plot, and this book is quintessential Becky Albertalli in that regard.

5. El fabuloso mundo de las letras [The Fabulous World of the Letters] by Jordi Sierra i Fabra

Okay, so this is technically a children’s book written by a well-known Spanish author that was given to me while staying with a friend’s family in Spain, but regardless of the target group, I still absolutely loved it and ate it up. It’s a wonderful look at language and writing and creatively tries to spark enthusiasm for reading in children through fun little games, stories in which letters coming alive and form things like huge forests, crossword puzzles, and more. The frame for it is a story about a boy who hates reading sucked into the world of letters, where he gets to know them and how they work and learns how beautiful language is, which is 100% my thing as a linguist. I will forever grieve all the H’s in the hospital.

6. Tokioregen [Tokyo Rain] by Yasmin Shakarami

One of the few German books I still read, English has just taken over by now. It’s about a German high school student who spends a semester abroad in Japan, falls in love with the country and a classmate who shows her the hidden parts of Tokyo, and has to witness an earthquake that destroys most of the city. Somehow the author managed to convey Tokyo’s magic in a way I never expected, even though I’ve never been all that interested in Japan, so it sucked me in.

7. When We Were Infinite by Kelly Loy Gilbert

Oof, this one challenged my mental health, but I guess that’s exactly what it was trying to do. We have here a story about a group of close friends who are the most important people to each other, but when they find out one of them, Jason, is abused at home and he tries to kill himself, they all spiral and friendships start to fall apart. It basically takes you along for the ride as the protagonist Beth’s mental health and her friendships go through one of the most terrible experiences of their lives, and that makes you think about a lot of things in your life.

8. I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston

I’ve been a huge fan of Casey McQuiston since Red, White & Royal Blue, because they write incredible queer stories with some of the best characterization I’ve ever seen. In this one, Chloe, held hostage by a Southern Christian small town with her moms, has made it her mission to beat child prodigy and good girl Shara as valedictorian, but instead Shara ends up kissing her (and two other classmates) before disappearing, leaving behind only a series of clues for the three to follow. Let’s just say I didn’t expect the plot to unfold like it did at all: it turns everything upside down and, once again, in the way Casey McQuiston does, ends up with the most compelling characters I’ve ever read about.

9. A Magic Steeped in Poison by Judy I. Lin

Ugh, I love fantasy stories based on Chinese culture and mythology (see Iron Widow and If You Could See the Sun). This one makes use of the art of tea-brewing, which the protagonist Ning uses to create fantastical illusions and to participate in a competition looking for the new palace tea master, hoping to save her sister’s life by winning. The writing was great, and I really liked Ning, the protagonist. But to quote from my little book diary: “I’m rooting for the straights with the tea-induced magical connection, but I might be rooting a lot more for the princess-and-her-ferocious-handmaiden side couple.”

10. XOXO by Axie Oh

Okay, the last one, which I never expected to be good or original at all, and it’s a bit cliché even for me. But something about the story stuck with me, and so it made this list. It’s a bit of a typical k-pop (which is a genre I don’t even listen to) idol romance, in which Jenny, a cello player, spends an evening with (unbenownst to her) k-pop star Jaewoo in LA, only to reunite with him at a music conservatory in Seoul a few months later when Jenny moves to Korea. I guess you can sort of figure out the plot from there, but the characters are written very well (I think you can see the pattern here), and it’s a really nice read when you want something simple and sweet.

[twilightsdumbbutiwannaknowmore]

With the announcement of HBO buying the rights to one of my absolute favourite TV shows and the further announcement of it getting a reboot next year, I have decided to do a mashup post. 

SO , I want to give my thoughts on Twilight Characters and their Degrassi counterparts. Please feel free to tell me if you disagree or agree or have anything to add. 

Bella: 

Clare Edwards. Clare is a character that is shown time and time again to be passionate about her interests (journalism and writing) and is loyal to her friends when they are in need. She also is seen by some of her friends to have a strong affect on boys (queue ‘I will never understand the affect Clare Edwards has on Men’) like How Bella shows up and miraculously all the men are attracted to her. She finds herself caught in multiple love stories where she learns to stick up for herself and must make decisions about what she truly wants.

Edward:

Craig Manning. Craig shows up and instantly has girls frothing at the mouth for him. He’s dramatic and broody and doesn’t really give up when it comes to finding what he wants. He is talented with Music similar to Edward and also like Edward will often come off as very intense when expressing his feelings towards others. He also leaves his girlfriend at the time (Manny) at the drop of a hat just like Edward does to Bella in New Moon.

Jacob : 

Zig Novak. He goes after the same girl many times, and most of the times he decides to make a move is while shes in a relationship, thus creating romantic tension and a love triangle. He is also a lot of muscle and uses his knowledge of the world around him to protect himself and others on many occasions, such as Jake using his knowledge of the Wolves and the forest.

Alice: 

Imogen Moreno. She knows who she wants to be friends with and knows what she has to do to become close to them. Often she will drop into conversations randomly with cryptic messages. She also has a very eclectic fashion sense. All of these are pretty much identical to Alice IMO.

Jasper : 

Sean Cameron, He has a dark past that he isn’t proud of and often will have time controlling his anger, but all in all he wants to be better and often will lean on his significant other to see what he should be doing morally.

Emmett :

 Spinner Mason, The epitome of a himbo, just as Emmett is. Sure in the beginning of the series Spinner was often problematic, but he wanted to learn and once he did he became a reliable source of support for all his friends. He is also super tough and does ‘whatever it takes’ to look after people on many occasions.

Rosalie: 

Paige Michalchuk. Paige is queen B at Degrassi for many years. She is gorgeous and confident while still wanting to be there for those she cares about. Much like Rosalie, Paige has also had an unfortunate history with men and it gave her a fire to fight back and look out for others in the future. 

Carlisle: 

Marco Del Rossi. Marco is the dad friend. He is super smart and wants to put his skills to good uses such as running a blood drive for the school. He always looks out for others (except in a few random episodes) and does his best to make sure that his friends voices are heard.

Esme :

 Holly J Sinclair. I’ll be honest it took me a while to think of who matched Esme and the best I could come to was Holly J in her later seasons. In the beginning holly J is definitely nt kind or caring, but I feel that these parts of herself come out more in her later seasons, especially in the Fiona storylines where she is so caring and helpful in trying to help Fiona with working out her sexuality.

Charlie : 

Principal Archie Simpson. He is an absolute angel that is not getting paid enough for the amount he has to deal with from these kids. He constantly has to try and hand out advice to children that often aren’t listening and will stand there dumbfounded while still being supportive of their decisions.

Seth : 

Adam Torres. Adam is the best, he is the best boy and I love him. When Adam is on screen I have the same fun filled reaction to when I see Seth. Adam is young but he just wants to fit in with his friends and be able to do all the cool things that his brother does even if it gets him into trouble. He wants everyone to get along while still making sure to stand up for himself.

Leah : 

Many Santos, She is a bad-ss. Manny has had a few failed romances but she never lets it hold her back, she uses that as a fire to go and get what she wants get it while scaring you half to death.

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Hey,

I don’t remember who I sent my ask to, you or @therealvinelle and with your blogs getting deactivated I figured I’d send it again just in case.

So, Jacob hasn’t imprinted on Renesmee right? Does that mean he can imprint on someone else? Like assuming there is someone out there who’d be a match when Jacob might come across her if she comes over to his reservation to visit someone or something like that, do you think he could imprint? Is imprinting stronger than Renesmee’s gift? Maybe since the danger of her getting killed has passed since Jacob is over Bella and they’re friends again and the pack now knows that Renesmee is safe and not a monster, Renesmee’s gift might stop working overtime for Jacob? If we assume imprinting happens, what would be the fallout of this? How does everyone the pack, the Cullens deal with it?

Well, I'm here now, so I guess I get to it first.

The post anon's referring to. Specifically, the theory that Renesmee has a gift and that Jacob's imprint on her is artificial.

With that, let's break it down.

Can Jacob Imprint On Someone Else?

Unclear. For a few reasons at that.

One, this depends on how exactly that gift of Renesmee's works. If she got neurons in Jake's head to fire, if he had any sort of a physical reaction, then the imprinting chemicals may have gone off and for all it's artificial it's still imprinting. This is Jacob on imprint, and so far as we know there's no going back from that once it's happened. You imprint for life.

More than that, imprinting is supposed to have been a very rare phenomenon. Likely, Billy's on the money, and it triggers to pass down the gene in times of dire circumstances. This is why Sam imprints on Emily vs. Leah (who soon becomes a warrior with an interrupted menstrual cycle) and why every imprint we see is within not only the tribe but known shape shifting bloodlines.

If Jake's going to imprint, it's probably would have been someone in the tribe that could help preserve the bloodline and ensure the next generation of shapeshifters.

Well, most of those bloodlines seem to have been paired off for the moment, so even had Jake not imprinted on Renesmee, he'd probably dodge a bullet and not imprint. Especially considering he had not done so already.

Not every wolf in the tribe is going to imprint. Jake could have been one of them.

Is Renesmee Out of Danger?

No.

Jake and Bella's rekindled friendship is based entirely upon his being a thrall in love with her daughter. This is the only thing that now binds them together in any way. It's also the reason Bella's so willing to accept the imprint in the first place despite her reservations: it means she keeps Jake in her life.

Jake, prior to imprinting, sees vampires as demons. He sees them as walking, talking, soulless monstrosities. He's impressed that Alice has enough sentience to even hold a basic conversation.

Jake loathes vampires with his entire being and was seconds away from the murder of Renesmee after her birth.

If the imprint is gone, then it's all over. All that good feeling, all that rekindled friendship, everything that was based off of nothing but an imprint is gone. Worse, Jake awakens to a world in which he has compromised everything he ever believed in, potentially for years, to play house with demons. And Bella did not even have the decency to put him out of his misery like a true warrior. So that she could pretend nothing had changed, that she could have Edward and Jake too, just like she always wanted.

Bella used him, and as for Renesmee, well--she stole everything from him.

I imagine Jake would quite easily pick up where he left off. He'd murder Renesmee and, if he got the opportunity, murder Bella the vampire.

The Imprint Happens

Bella is devastated.

Jake is leaving the Cullens, no ifs or buts, and likely packs his bags in the middle of the night and takes off without a word. This new person is his gravity now, the center of his everything, there's no thought to spare with the demons he's been living with for however long.

So, at first there's confusion. Has anyone seen or heard from Jake? Bella especially is a mess, her world is falling apart. And then they find out, probably Leah (poor Leah) has to tell them: Jake... imprinted. Again. On someone else.

The Cullens are very confused and ask how this is possible. They thought it was a one time deal.

Leah... doesn't know. Leah decides to leave it at that, tells the Cullens that now that Jake is heading back to the reservation that she and Seth are leaving too.

The treaty's still on, they have the Cullen's number, but please. Never come back.

The wolves are officially out of the Cullens lives. No further contact is expected between them except in case of dire emergency: i.e. La Push/Forks is overwhelmed by a vampire army and simply do not have the numbers.

Jake is gone.

Bella implodes. She desperately tries to reach out to Jake, Jake does not return her calls, appears to have blocked her number. Bella is tormented as now her best friend is gone again and she has to face the truth: that he only stayed because of the imprint and she used that.

Bella falls into a deep depression.

As for Renesmee, she thinks this is all quite grand. Finally, Jake is gone and never coming back. Renesmee throws a goddamn fiesta. This disturbs the Cullens greatly as it means that things were not... as pleasant as they had once appeared to be.

The other Cullens aren't quite sure how to take this. They choose to be grateful that they will not, in fact, be watching Jake and Renesmee's wedding. Except for Edward, who despairs that he has lost a son-in-law (Carlisle chooses not to hear that).

As for the tribe, they're a mess.

This isn't supposed to happen. No one has done this before. There's deep discussions for a while but eventually they shrug their shoulders and decide it's for the best.

For Billy, this is a miracle. He feels bad for Charlie, of course, whose daughter is now a demon and who has a... granddaughter... of sorts. There's no helping that, and he wished he could have done something more, but his son is no longer entangled with demons.

Jake is free, is back home, and has imprinted on someone who's not a demon. Of course, Billy probably privately wishes that Jake had not imprinted at all, but at least this one's human.

This is the closest thing to a happy ending Billy's going to get.

As for Jake, well, he's imprinted. He's still not a person. He is imprint.

[party-lemon]

This is gonna be another long post so...yeah. Do with that what you will.

A List of My Top Ten Favorite Movies (So Far) And Why (In No Particular Order)

#1: Juno

Released: December 5, 2007

Cast: Elliot Page, Michael Cera, Jason Bateman, Jennifer Garner, J.K. Simmons

The rest of these aren't in order but this is my favorite movie. I've literally only watched it twice but I absolutely love it. It is so beautifully written, the cast is amazing. Every character is amazing and amazingly written. Juno is the perfect main character and is so likeable. And the soundtrack!? Perfection. Honestly, I just love everything about this movie. Literally everything.

#2: Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood

Released: July 26, 2019

Cast: Leonardo DiCaprio, Brad Pitt, Margot Robbie, Dakota Fanning

I was pleasantly surprised by this movie, only because it took so long for it to get to the final scene. I don't want to call it boring, but for lack of a better word...it was boring. There were hints about what was going on throughout the entire movie and it builds and builds and builds and then we have this insane final scene. What's even better about it is that it's based on something that happened in real life, it just has two characters thrown in, making it never happen. It's such an interesting movie and waiting for it to sort of get to the point is worth it.

#3: Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Released: June 11, 1986

Cast: Matthew Broderick, Alan Ruck, Mia Sara, Jennifer Gray, Jeffrey Jones

A classic. This movie is so quotable and so fun even though the concept is, really, pretty simple. Cameron is one of my favorite movie characters ever. I love Matthew Broderick. Sloane is gorgeous. It's just a really fun movie and one of my go to's for every mood.

#4: Signs

Released: July 29, 2002

Cast: Mel Gibson, Joaquin Phoenix, Rory Culkin, Abigail Breslin, Cherry Jones

This movie is so creepy, mostly because I believe that aliens exist so it isn't like a regular horror/thriller movie because I feel like this is so real. But this movie is so good. The cast, including the kids, is phenomenal. (Yes, unfortunately, even Mel Gibson.) It plays around with so many questions: are aliens real? What if they were? What if signs are real? What if there aren't signs, only coincidences? I'm a fan of M. Night Shyamalan and this is my favorite of his films.

#5: Stranger Than Fiction

Released: November 10, 2006

Cast: Will Ferrell, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Emma Thompson, Dustin Hoffman

I literally bawl my eyes out every time I watch this. Oh my gosh. So let's start with the fact that this is a more serious role than Will Ferrell usually does, and I love when actors that often just star in comedies pull a, "Hey, I can do this, too!" Harold is such a compelling character, you're just rooting for him the whole time. Every character's interactions with each other are amazing. It's such a sweet story and I really love it a lot.

#6: This is Where I Leave You

Released: September 19, 2014

Cast: Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Adam Driver, Corey Stoll, Rose Byrne

I just watched this recently and I instantly loved it. I talk about casts a lot but this one is absolutely star-studded and it works so well. It tackles the mourning process well and all of the character's interactions are great. I especially love Rose Byrne but I also just really like Rose Byrne in everything I've seen her in.

#7: The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

Released: December 25, 2013

Cast: Ben Stiller, Kristen Wiig, Sean Penn, Adam Scott, Patton Oswalt

I was obsessed with this movie in junior high! I watched it all the time and it still holds up. I love the whimsical fantasy it has to it from time to time and Walter's compelling search for the last photo. This movie is ridiculous sometimes and it knows it and it owns it.

#8: The Perks of Being a Wallflower

Released: September 21, 2012

Cast: Logan Lerman, Emma Watson, Ezra Miller, Mae Whitman, Paul Rudd

I read the book and, while the movie isn't completely accurate, it holds up better than most book to movie adaptations. I absolutely love Charlie. Don't get me wrong, Sam is great, Patrick is lovely, but Charlie is amazing, mostly because I relate to him so much in so many ways. The soundtrack to this movie is great, also, and the tunnel scenes are just *chef's kiss* Such a brilliant book and movie.

#9: The Truman Show

Released: June 5, 1998

Cast: Jim Carrey, Laura Linney, Ed Harris, Natascha McElhone

Another example of a comedian playing a more serious role. Throughout this whole movie, you're just waiting for Truman to find out the truth, for his life to change because the more you watch it, the more you come to love this character. Or, I guess, person. You want the best for him, you want him to break free from this literal cage. It's captivating and angering because this lovable character's entire life is a lie. It's such a brilliant film and I feel like it should get more attention.

#10: Alice in Wonderland

Released: March 5, 2010

Cast: Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Anne Hathaway, Helena Bonham Carter

Where do I start...this movie is so weird. Which is kind of the point and that's why I love it. The main character doesn't even know what's going on sometimes. Once you figure out what's going on, this movie is just really fun. Kind of. I don't know how to describe this movie, I really don't. But I just love it a lot. There's a dragon and castles and weird creatures and talking animals. Everyone does an excellent job, especially Johnny Depp. I would kill for the Mad Hatter. It's such a weird movie and I can't put my finger on why I love it so much, but I do. I also really like Tim Burton.

Honorable Mentions:

Jojo Rabbit

Crazy Stupid Love

Spider-Man: Homecoming

The Shawshank Redemption

Coraline

Again, if you made it this far, thanks for reading. And, again, 11/10 would recommend all of these, including the honorable mentions.

[megs-mostly-past-random-fandoms]

Conflict

Based on this request: Could you perhaps write something for a female Wolfshifter in Twilight who has the feeling of not fitting in with the pack? She knows the Cullens and always liked them. She especially likes Carlisle, Alice, Esme and Emmet. This brings conflicts with the Wolf Pack and somewhere along the line the reader is estranged to her whole community due to always protecting the Cullens. Carlisle and Co become aware of this and make an effort to integrate the reader into the Cullen family.I'm really looking forward to your imagines. The recently posted requests seem very interesting! But please don't overwork yourself. :)

AND this one:  May I request one of your Volturi imagines where the reader is a werwolf shapeshifter but has come to think of the Volturi as her family, so she protects them? Especially Marcus, Aro and Jane. Carlisle and the Cullens come to Volterra to bring her home because they thinknof her as a daughter. And so the reader is torn due to her loyalties to both her families?I always look forward to your imagines! Thank you for writing them for us! :D

Here you are, lovelies! *Familiar Characters are NEVER mine!*

Fandom: Twilight

Warnings: Angst, feeling like you don’t belong. A little familial fluff?

Pairings/Characters: Fem!shifter reader, Olympic Coven(Cullens), Volturi, Quileute Shifter Pack

Being one of two female wolves in the pack didn't exactly make for good company. Leah, as much as you loved her, was still so in love with Sam, she couldn't see passed the end of her nose. But at least she had her brother. And you really couldn't relate to any of the guys. That left you on your own. You hated it. You hated not fitting in. But when you officially met the Cullens and the Volturi, that changed.

          You had been running through the woods alongside the border between your two lands when you were injured somehow. You were bleeding profusely and, in your state, you accidentally crossed into the Cullen's territory. Emmett and Carlisle had been out hunting when they found you. At first, they weren't happy, but when they realized you were hurt, Emmett wasted no time in scooping you up and running you back to the house. That was the beginning of a few lasting friendships, although you didn't linger in person for too long. You knew vampires didn't like the smell of shifters, even though you showered all the time.

         The Cullens soon became like your family, much to the annoyance of the pack. They always complained about you smelling like a leech whenever you came back from visiting the Cullens. You didn't care. At least with the vampires, you felt some sense of belonging. You became very protective of them. And then, you met the Volturi and your family grew.

         After working and saving up for nearly a year, you were finally able to go on a little vacation and you decided that Italy would be for the best. That was where you met the Volturi. Aro had read your thoughts and assured the others that you weren't a threat. Once you got used to one another, you decided to stay in Italy for a while. Soon, the Volturi were like family as well. Except for Caius. He took a little bit longer because of his experience with the Children of the Moon. Either way, now you had two families that were both vampires and you loved them both.

         But the conflict between the pack and the Cullens had grown more tense in your absence. The pack believed the Cullens had done something to you. The Cullens themselves didn't care what the pack thought, but the longer tensions went on, the more difficult it would be the Cullens to remain in Forks. So they decided to do something about it. They were going to bring you home.

         "Masters, the Olympic Coven has been sighted on the outskirts of the city," Demetri explained one evening while you were visiting the castle. Your ears perked up at the mention of your other family, making Aro smile. "Perhaps they have come for a our…'friend'," Caius said, earning a slight glare from you. He gave you a smile that was meant to be both threatening and teasing. That was the nature of your relationship with him now.

         "Perhaps they have. Very well. Demetri, if you and Felix would be so kind?" In an instant, the two vampires in question were gone and a few moments later, returned with Carlisle and a couple other members of the coven. You were running toward them before you could stop yourself, happy to see your other family again. Carlisle wrapped you up in a hug, followed by Edward and then Jasper.

         "I missed you guys!" you said gleefully. Carlisle replied that they had missed you as well. "We've come to bring you back to Forks with us." There was a little hissing from all around you. Carlisle put his hands up in a manner to show that he was no threat. "B-But I like it here. The Volturi, they're my family too." Carlisle gave you a sad smile.

         "I know, Y/N. I do understand. But, the pack…they are becoming more aggressive by the day. They believe we're keeping you against your will, not allowing them to come back. Jacob is doing what he can to pacify them, but most don't believe him. Some are threatening to break away and break the treaty." You felt tears welling up in your eyes. The pack had never cared about you before, but now they were willing to destroy three families because of you?

         You were distressed by the news at first, but then, you became angry. The pack was threatening the people you loved. You could feel your body growing warm as your anger rose. "Y/N, dear, you must calm yourself. We don't need you shifting in here." You glanced back at Aro before looking at Edward. He read your mind and smiled stiffly. "You can come back. As long as the pack sees that you're safe, they will leave us alone."

         You looked between the Cullens and the Volturi. They were all awaiting your decision. You were torn. You loved being in Italy with the Volturi, but you were needed back in Forks. But what would happen if your meeting with the pack failed? Then everyone would be in danger. You could feel your protective instinct rising again. You knew you needed to get out of the castle for a while to calm yourself and think properly. So, you ran.

         "Where is she going?" you heard Caius ask. You didn't stop. You knew Edward would explain what was going on. You made your way to the outskirts of the city, preparing yourself for the shift when you heard quick footsteps behind you. You whirled around to come face-to-face with Caius. "No offense, but I'm not in the mood right now."

         "Well, that is too bad, I'm sorry to say." You growled lowly, but there was no malice behind it. "You're worried about us. Protective even. Why?" You sighed. "You're family, Caius. Even though you hate me for what I am, I still view all of you as my family and I protect those I love. Just like you." Caius didn't say anything for a moment but then, a smile slowly made its way onto his lips. A real smile.

         "Then we finally agree on something. And you have a decision to make. Whatever you decide, we will be with you." With that, he sped off again, leaving you to think. You'd calmed down enough in your surprise that you didn't feel like you were going to shift involuntarily. Caius was right. You had to make a decision and you hated it. You didn't want to leave Volterra, but you also didn't want to leave the Cullens at the mercy of the pack that never treated you as equal. What were you going to do?

(a/n: I hope you like it! Tag lists are open for all fandoms and characters on this blog.)

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

I’m back on my bullshit and we have GOT TO TALK about 13x08 The Scorpion and the Frog; which serves as a good example of why you should not ONLY watch spn episodes with Cas (partially because of that scene I shamefully blogged about earlier - no I will not link that cursed post here).  The episode title comes from a fable in which the villain is the scorpion.  Interpretations of this fable note its uniqueness lies in the concept that “the scorpion is irrationally self destructive and fully aware of it.”

To quote the scorpion, buddies -  “it’s in my nature.”

Anyway, this episode is subtextually predicated on exploring Dean Winchester’s nature and specifically - his bisexuality, and I’m not only saying that because it opens with Dean in his Bi Colors Plaid (that also he wore on his burger date with Cas).

Let’s get started, after the cut!

Season 13 on its face gives me absolute whiplash because it starts widow arc-reunion-TOMBSTONE and then Jack yeets himself off to Chuck knows where so Cas can go out Looking For Him Because Otherwise He Will Definitely Kiss Dean there is no other option for the writers at this point.  Sigh.  Here, have another shot of Dean anxiously cleaning his gun as he always does when Cas has Gone Off For Reasons -

Anyway, this feels like a filler episode at first, but as always they bury the ENTIRE damn world in it and I am here with my dossier to Unearth It.

Lets start with Bart (demon of terrible nicknames and microagressions) meeting the brothers at Smile Diner to talk about some spell or whatever. 

(I am not thinking about the Cherry Pie meta I AM NOT)

THEY HAVE THE AUDACITY to start with these lines immediately introducing the theme of duality, a thread throughout this episode.

BARTHAMUS

Everything. I've been following your careers a long time. You're a real pain in the pitchfork. And the halo. Natural disrupters. We have that in common, you and I. DEAN

Mm. Yeah, we're twinsies.

***MORE DUALITY!  But as we know, Dean does not like Bart because He Is A Freakin’ Demon

DEAN

Well, see, here's the thing. When a demon tells us to jump, we don't ask how high. We just ice their ass.

UMMM excuse me Barting Bacting Boices?  What is that sexual gaze?  

Then we find out that Bart has 1/2 of the spell.  They need the other 1/2.  Oh, a spell with two parts, you say? [ I am going to scream :) ]

***Also, Dean eats the pie Bart ordered.  I cannot begin to explain to you the state of unwellness that I am in regarding how important this is. DEAN NEVER GETS TO EAT THE PIE, remember?  But in This Filler Episode, Dean eats the pie. While Sam looks at him with a very quizzical expression.  Pie -> what Dean wants but never actually gets -> Dean actively eating this pie.  Dean is coming to terms that maybe he can have what he wants.

***I am reminding you again that this is post widower-arc, post-reunion, and especially post-Tombstone.  Anyway-

Now we get to Smash and Grab.  Not literally even though I want to Commit Such Conduct at this point.  We are introduced to two one off characters named 

Smash (human/female presenting) -  can crack any safe built by man 

and Grab (demon/male presenting)-  expert in bypassing supernatural security.

Reaching or no, you can’t disagree that when spn introduces one off characters - it is almost always a Narrative Parallel or Mirror.

So we have a human and a demon (and Dean Winchester, a human who has been a demon)

who are experts in cracking open/bypassing something that has been secured and guarded (breaking down walls, if you will).  

They also use fake names identifying them as Tools to be Used ( Dean Winchester, the Michael Sword/daddys blunt little instrument)

BONUS:

Dean himself is literally used as a tool in this episode.

So yeah.  Smash and Grab are physical representations of Dean’s duality.  Human/Demon.  Femininity/Masculinity.  Dare we say something else, too?

Anyway, Dean is paired with Smash and Grab; Sam is off to idk negotiate weird artifact purchases lawboy style with Luther Shrike, a man who cannot die so long as he never leaves his house (I cannot even begin to unpack this shit; please just sit there and think about it.  I’m not even going there here.  I CANNOT DISCUSS Luther Shrike RN).

Speaking of things I cannot discuss without halgdhsag;lsa - Smash has very Specific boots (a look overall, really).

DEAN

Hey, Winona. The '90s called. They'd like their shoes back. SMASH

Shh.

***That’s right girl - do not take his shit; he actually LOVES them and is therefore Overcompensating for it with this little jab.

***Dean’s pop culture references and particular attention to the details here Should Not Be Overlooked.  90s! Winona! Ryder!

ANYWAY, then Dean and Smash bond over a caffeinated beverage -

[While Dean is doing a spell, Smash opens a can of drink, takes a mouthful and burps loudly. ] SMASH

Ahh. DEAN

You're weird.

***This scene makes me literally insane. (even aside from Dean living on something named NERVE DAMAGE as a KID.  They could have called it anything. You’re saying this wasn’t a Choice)  

She chugs a swallow of the drink and burps.  Something stereotypically associated with masculinity.  Not feminine.  Dean’s reaction is that she is “weird” - because she is not acting in a way stereotypically, J*hn Winchester brain-rot patriarchy bullshit-tily associated with Being Female.  But also, says the stupid show, they like the same soda.  They are The Same.  She shares the soda with Dean.  HIS FACE WHEN SHE DOES -

Other similarities are addressed throughout the episode (they are working for demons because they have no choice; they don’t discuss feelings/emotions, they both sold their soul, they both This Thing - 

DEAN

You know, we could help you. SMASH

No, you can't. I gotta take care of me.

etc. etc.) Smash is absolutely dean-coded.

****Also it’s textually established that Smash thinks Dean is attractive -

GRAB

[looking at Smash] Oh. You said he was just a pretty face. SMASH 

Shh.

***But Grab flirts with him too.

DEAN

I will kill you. GRAB

I bet you say that to all the girls.

***sorry, Grab - you won’t get far with Dean, but only because as he mentioned in the beginning of this episode - 

Drowley rights.

Now Dean has to put his hand in the mouth of this stone lion thing and all of a sudden he is acting....very-not-like-Dean.

[Dean looks again and takes a deep breath.] DEAN

I… how about this? What if I cut myself, put it on, like, a little piece of paper? We'll just wad it up and throw it in the mouth, okay? Okay. 

***Dean Winchester, who has been to Literal HELL, who has been torn apart by hellhounds, who has battled the devil and angels and God’s sister - all at the expense of his own life is now - afraid of spiders.  Well, technically he has always been afraid of spiders, but why isn’t ‘he being performative about it At This Time??

***Come to think of it, this sends me right back to how Jackles was playing Dean in 12x11 Regarding Dean THE episode dissecting Dean’s performative masculinity [one day I will clean up and post that analysis sitting in my drafts like a sad hamster]. That makes sense actually, because -> -> ->

that episode and this one are both written by Meredith Glynn.  Girl get in I want to torture you affectionately with a barrage of questions.

So here we have Dean and he’s not performing for Reasons, and he’s scared he’s genuinely scared of putting his hand in this stone lion-gargoyle-pig-creature’s mouth and then -

Smash gives him a push.

She gives him a push.  I cannot stop thinking about how she gives him a push.  A push to go do this thing that he is scared of; his fear being something he was hiding under his performative masculinity. Smash - dean coded dean mirror who does not perform femininity and is ‘weird’ -  she   gives   him   a     p u s h.

***linking here for the jackting joices that follow.

Now, let’s circle back to Smash’s story; why she is working for Bart in the first place -

SMASH

You think I wanna be here? Like I have a choice? SAM

You made a deal. SMASH

Wow! You think? SAM

You sold your soul. SMASH

And if I could take it back, I would. 

there is no reason for this picture here other than I needed you to see the jackting again

***How does the story end for Smash?

DEAN

Take care of you. [Dean glances down at the box, and then at Smash. She sees that Dean has put a lighter on top of the bones.]  BARTHAMUS

Alice, chop chop! 

[Bart indicates she should get his bones]. SMASH

Yeah. [She grabs the lighter and sets Bart's bones alight. Bart screams as he bursts into flames. ] 

***She accepts help and breaks free from the narrative, literally burning it down. The female presenting but not female-performing “weird” ooc representing a side of Dean breaks FREE because she makes a choice.  The lighter Dean drops? It’s a push.  And she goes with it.

Alice reclaims her story.

(Also, Grab gets ganked.  The male presenting ooc; the performative masculinity side; the demon; the darkness; the not-humanity - gets ganked).

Guess what Dean says to Alice when they say goodbye?

DEAN

Hey, Alice. Stay weird.

[I know the peace sign is probably just a Charlie throwback but I’d still like to say duality.  Two. ]

Dean’s not just talking to Alice.  He’s talking to himself; because the walls have been breached and for once Dean isn’t as scared of being different.  Maybe, just maybe, he’s going along with the push.  That’s exactly how the episode ends - with Dean feeling a little more hopeful, a little more at peace; a little more Considering he is capable of not only loving Cas but also not hating himself for it. 

[until the knowledge that Mary is still alive and the guilt of allowing himself ANY happy thoughts instead of looking for her miserably rears its ugly head in 13x09 and round and round we go but for NOW at least -> ]

DEAN

I'll drink to that.

(oh look Dean is just wearing his henley.  It’s almost as if a layer has been peeled back).

tagging @im-shaking-like-milk​ and @deanwasalwaysbi​ for letting me ramble on to them while writing this; and @lilac-void​ because you are always so kind about my stuff :)

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Late Stage Swiftgron Part 1

Update from November 2021 - I really don’t believe much of this is meaningful at all.  I don’t think they’re sitting around referencing one another on social media or anything but some of Dianna’s interactions with Karlie are interesting Dianna shows up explicitly in Taylor’s life a couple more times so I’m leaving these sections here.;

From here on out everything but the 2014 AMAs and Dianna’s somewhat shocking appearance at Taylor’s 2019 SNL performance are just odd social media shenanigans (or subtweets) between the two, and Taylor appearing to release at least one more song about Dianna (Babe in 2018) (and let’s be honest you can make a strong argument for The 1 being about Dianna as well other post 1989 songs.)

Some of this might be complete crack or coincidence but as you all know I want this to be the most thorough Swiftgron document possible.  

If anything it proves they both certainly still have similar interests and they really do seem to be in touch.

There are some interactions claimed by others to be Swiftgron related that I’m not going to include because they’re just a bit too reachy for me (though I completely support the theorizing!) but in general, if I personally can see the hint of a Swiftgron connection, I’m going to include it here. Draw your own conclusions and take everything, particularly the alleged subtweets/social media shenanigans, with a grain of salt.

And yes there’s tons of Kaylor and other Gaylor/Gaygron content that will be left out of this segment because this masterpost is focused on Swiftgron.  Someday it would be cool to make a giant masterpost/timeline that documents all of it, but for now it’s just going to be Swiftgron stuff. August 26, 2014 - Dianna tweets, and then deletes “Withdrawals, clearly…we had fun.” 

There’s no screen shot of this tweet but some retweets/responses of it remain:

If Dianna is indeed referencing the song Clean (in which their relationship is compared to an addiction hence, “withdrawals” from it) then Taylor would have had to give her advanced knowledge of the song since 1989 did not come out until October 2014.

Taylor did claim she ran 1989 by the muse that inspired it and they were both in LA in late August 2014. Maybe this is when.

November 1, 2014 - Taylor posts about Clean

November 19, 2014 - The 2014 AMAs Kaylorgron Explosion Extravaganza:

Taylor, Karlie, and Dianna are at the event.  Taylor and Karlie are clearly on a date and Dianna is there to present Sam Smith’s performance of I’m not the only one.  Dianna seems a bit out of her element/gloomy when interviewed on the red carpet and Taylor flexes Karlie hard, dancing with her throughout the night and even sitting on her lap during an interview.

Click here for photos, video, gifs, and a live L chat reaction to the night.

December 28, 2014 - The writer for the tv show The Originals, Carina Mackenzie, tweeted that 1989 was about Dianna:

It’s of course notable that someone in the industry is “confirming” Swiftgron on main (particularly before gaylor went mainstream with Kaylor being so obvious in 2015/2016) however what’s even more interesting and notable about this tweet is that an actor named Michael Trevino was on the show The Originals and he dated Jenna Ushkowitz from 2011-2014.

Not only that but Michael was at Dianna’s 26th birthday when Taylor was in attendance as well.

It’s possible that Michael witnessed Swiftgron in real life and spilled a bit to the writer of the TV show he was on.

January 5, 2015 - Taylor likes a Swiftgron related post on Tumblr of Dianna saying she’d go on the road with Taylor and carry her bags at the Giffoni Film Festival in 2012:

February 9, 2015 - Style is released as a single

February 13, 2015 - The Kaylor “Best Friends” on a road trip Vogue Spread comes out.  You’re probably familiar with it but if you aren’t google it.  It’s incredibly romantic and pda filled.

The Style music video is released on this day as well.

We don’t have to go through the whole video but one egg I just have to note is the cave pictured in the MV is in Morocco the same country Dianna seemed to flee to after Swiftgron was outed:

February 14, 2015 - Dianna tweets 143 remember those days (for some reason it has not been deleted) seemingly in response to the Kaylor vogue shoot:

143 is a code that means “I love you” that originated from Mister Rogers.  Both Taylor and Dianna have publicly shown that they are fans of his.  Taylor has even made certain songs 3 minutes and 41 seconds long seemingly referring to this number and wore a Mister Rogers pin on a jacket for a photoshoot once.

Here’s a bit more in depth analysis on the significance of the 143 post.

This tweet is how we know that it is 100% in Dianna’s character to occasionally subtweet Taylor and why a lot of this social media analysis has been done.  

February 16, 2015 - Just two days later Dianna attends a fashion show in which Karlie walks and is noted to “have kept a smirk on her face” during.  Dianna doesn’t clap at the end of the show and looks miserable in photos of the event:

February 17, 2015 - Taylor releases Wonderland

I’m going to pause here and discuss the song Wonderland for a brief moment because it is some of the most incredibly airtight evidence for Swiftgron available.

Dianna’s favorite book of all time is Alice in Wonderland.  She brought it up in interviews all the time, tweeted about it, auctioned off a signed copy of it for charity, her private Tumblr and instagram account are called whosirmesir which is a reference to it, her private Tumblr is filled with reblogs about Alice, and her public Tumblr was called fell down the rabbit hole.

So the fact that Taylor writes an entire song describing a relationship through the lens of and packing full of references to Alice in Wonderland is incredibly interesting.

Let’s take a look at some of these lyrics:

Flashing lights and we, took a wrong turn and we Fell down the rabbit hole (literally Dianna’s tumblr name and url)

Didn't you flash your green eyes at me (Dianna is famous for her beautiful almost hypnotic green eyes and yes they are green)

Haven't you heard what becomes of curious minds (queer coded)

Too in love to think straight (queer coded)

But there were strangers watching And whispers turned to talking And talking turned to screams (seems to reference when they were outed) You searched the world for something else (Dianna very publicly went travelling around the world right after April 2013 when they seem to break up)

Taylor literally put Dianna’s Tumblr URL in the song.  Frankly I’m kind of shocked she released this song at all it is so obviously and clearly about Dianna.  Truly a Swiftgron anthem!

Back to the timeline...

March 8, 2015 - Taylor posts Flamingos for her dad’s birthday:

The caption was “Happy Birthday, Dad. Thanks for all the unconditional love, sarcastic comments, and interesting Christmas presents.”

May 1, 2015 - Dianna posts a flamingo for her birthday (post is now deleted):

The caption was “This is 29. Spoiled rotten. Funny enough, at work they were painting the hallways white and the roses (hallway doors) red, then I actually went to Wonderland (@AliceUnderLdn) and came home to a surprise flamingo. Here we go. Another year around the sun…feeling lucky and loved and loved and lucky.”

Taylor also gave Emily, another rumored ex, a flamingo bandana for her birthday.  i also think it’s odd that Dianna mentions Wonderland specifically in the post.

January 15, 2016 - Dianna’s engagement to Winston is announced and Kaylors notice Taylor is liking sad posts on Tumblr including several posts related to Clean:

November 7, 2016 - Lorde’s birthday party where Kaylor is together in public for the last time for 20 months.

January 5, 2017 - Claire (who is still very close with Taylor) comments on one of Dianna’s Instagram posts):

March 2, 2017 - Dianna posts her James Dean inStyle UK photo to Instagram:

This is actually the second time she has posted this as a throwback photo.  She also posted it on February 4, 2016 with simply the caption “TBT” and did not include the “rebel without a clue” bit which is a reference to James Dean (Rebel Without a Cause). She’s never posted the same TBT photo twice before or after this (as of the writing of this post in October 2020).

It I may be permitted to go real far out on a limb here it’s almost as if she wanted people to connect that photo of her in the UK InStyle magazine to James Dean.  James Dean is of course the way Taylor describes her lover in the song Style.  

At any rate it’s very odd that it’s the only photo she’s posted twice whether it’s related to Taylor or not.

April 25, 2017 - Fans notice Dianna is having her script tattoo removed:

This is significant because a part of the tattoo was dedicated to Alice in Wonderland - it said “We’re all mad here” 

Tattoo removal is a years long process:

So it’s possible she started getting it removed around the time that Wonderland came out.

It’s also possible part of the tattoo was dedicated to Lea (the part that said “here I am”) so this whole removal situation is very interesting.

In 2019 she was still getting it removed and commented this at a Cafe Carlyle session:

"i was like i don't know i wanna explain all my tattoos or the one that i'm getting removed on my side...you know you're like...WHATEVER we're stopping we're moving on"

February 13, 2018 - Dianna attends the Carolina Herrera fashion show, so does Karlie. Dianna is introduced to Karlie by Derek Blasberg and very audibly calls Karlie “gorgeoouusss” as they meet. 

Kayda play “Gorgeous” by Taylor Swift.

Click here to keep reading!

[clairenatural]

1k, marriage proposal fluff! for @latter-alice and @starlightcastiel who said they wanted marriage proposal and post-series & also to heal my soul😌

The first time Dean thought it, it came out of nowhere.

Castiel had just gotten back from purgatory—the first time, the time Dean tried to pull him out and he let go—and there was a moment when they were all sitting in some run-of-the-mill motel, and Castiel looked at him and Dean thought, clear as day, will you marry me?

It took him by surprise. The whole thing with Cas was new, anyway. Not the Dean being in love with him thing, that had always been there, but Dean actually admitting it. To himself, at least.

So he didn’t say it out loud. And if Castiel looked up at him, startled, well—that was probably just a reaction to Sam piping up with some new knowledge about their case.

It’s only years later—nearly a decade, really—that Dean allows himself to revisit the thought. It had been a year since he had broken down and confessed his feelings after nearly losing Castiel again, after they had narrowly defeated God (and wow, that’s a sentence he never thought he’d say), after Castiel had given up the rest of his grace in a fight that had left him human but alive. And it was the newest near-miss in a long line of near-misses after a year of them being on the worst terms they’d ever been on, so Dean hugged him and told him that he loved him and they agreed that nothing else mattered.

It hadn’t been the easiest year—they had a lot of shit to work through, and neither of them were naive enough to think that you could erase a decade of pain just through love alone—but now it’s good. They’re good. And the world isn’t ending anytime soon. And Sam and Eileen have moved into a cute little house in Lebanon, and Dean keeps catching himself looking for houses himself—a garage for himself, a study with built-in bookshelves for Castiel, and extra bedroom for Jack if he wants to stay, and whoever needs it if he doesn’t.

And he starts thinking about marriage again.

This time, it doesn’t terrify him nearly as much. This time, he talks to Sam, who smiles wider than he’d ever seen his brother smile and drags him ring shopping. He starts practicing in his head again whenever they make eye contact. One night, he whispers it into the (nearly nonexistent) space between them when they’re curled together in bed. That’s the riskiest, and when he feels more relief than fear, he knows its time.

He takes Cas on a road trip to celebrate their first official anniversary—one year since Dean had declared they were going on an actual date and dragged Castiel to a burger place a step above their normal diner fare. They drive North, through the plains of Nebraska, and eventually roll to a stop outside an old barn in South Dakota. Dean watches Cas carefully for a reaction, hoping this was the right call, but the other man looks more nostalgic than sad and smiles as he climbs out of the car.

They push open the barn door together, even though it’s not heavy. The inside hasn’t been touched, still covered in spray painted sigils—all useless, in the end.

“It’s kinda funny,” Dean starts, breaking the comfortable silence. “We put up every damn sigil and spell we could think of and not a single one worked.”

Beside him Castiel smiles, slips his hand into Dean’s, locks their fingers together. “You did your best. It was endearing.” He pauses to scan the inside of the barn. “And can you imagine if it had?”

And no, he really can’t. He doesn’t want to. “We wouldn’t be here,” he answers, and Cas hums, lost in thought. Then, before he can lose his nerve, Dean continues. “And I wouldn’t be doing this.”

Castiel turns to fully look at him then, confusion turning to recognition and something close to excitement as Dean drops to one knee. Distantly, he wonders why he doesn’t seem surprised.

“Look, Cas, you know I’m not good with words, but I…” He’s still holding onto one of Castiel’s hands, and he squeezes it.

Encouraged, Dean continues. There’s not even much to say, really—how do you sum up thirteen years in one speech?

“I love you,” Dean says simply. “I love you, and we fought through Hell to get here, and I’m never letting you go again.”

He fumbles as he pulls the ring box out of his pocket, having to drop Castiel’s hand in the process, but eventually he has the box open and the simple, silver band exposed.

“Will you marry me?” he finishes, almost in a whisper, and Castiel says “yes” so quickly it almost cuts him off.

Dean blinks.

“Yes, Dean. Yes, I will marry you,” he repeats, grinning widely, and Dean only has time to grin back and laugh in relief before Castiel is hauling him up and kissing him. Dean brings his hands up to the side of Castiel’s face, threads his fingers through his dark hair, and lets himself get pressed against the doorframe of the old barn where it all began.

It takes him a long moment to regain any sense that isn’t Cas but once he does he pulls back, just enough to look into his fiance’s face.

Castiel smiles warmly at him, and he’s obviously happy, but there’s no hint of surprise and for some reason that makes Dean suspicious.

“Why don’t you seem surprised by this?” he asks, and Castiel blinks once, then shrugs.

Then replies, nonchalantly, as if it’s the simplest thing in the universe— “I heard you the first time.”

[mychemicalimagines]

You’re My Forever-Jasper Hale-Chapter 9

Summary: After the Battle of the Newborns, Bella reveals she’s getting married to Edward. After the wedding, Alexia’s life has been nothing but up. She gets to be with the love of her life forever. One little thing chances that. Will she actually get her forever…or will it end before it begins?

Warnings: Cussing, Angst, Supernatural, Paranormal, Love, Bella-Bashing, Smut, Blood

Words: 3556

Tag List:  @jayrart @elskinner45 @nocturnalherb16 @buckysforeverprincess @diyunho @negans-womam @deepobservationcherryblossom @fangirl1029 @thelostallycat @dreamslove92 @scarletmeii @thecaptainsgingersnap @jai-lynne-unknown @0-r-1-0-n @stephbass28 @magnificentzombiebasement @arseofrivia @vampiregirl1797 @millie-753 @fandom-imagines1 @aylamlc @celyndavies @geekysimmerthings @krazykatkay456 @marvelofwitch @frozenhuntress67 @sooophie19 @xcharlottemikaelsonx @azure23x @luna-thedarkwolf @treestarrrrrrrr @hi-my-name-is-riley @salsameter @jasperschillvibe @mikariell95 @whattheheckisevengoingon @starcatcher-kay @awesomebooklover17 @strangerthanfanfiction713 @nj01 @vxidnik @oi-itsemily @i-love-you-green @bubblyanis @emma-is-a-nerd @amethyst-atf @thegirlwhowishedeveryonelived @whyisgmora @kawaiikpoplover268 @booksalwaysandforever @fandomsstolemylife00 @rororo06 @jgtfvhsg @unadulteredscreams @justfangirliing @bitchy-witchy-post-mortem @kyky9103 @it-is-rebel-owl-ma-dudes @hiisay @aknerdchick @sana-li​

A/N: i have some news! Chapter 10 is probably gonna be the ending to this series! Oh my god, I never thought it would get this far! I love you guys!! (no it’s not a puppy XD!!!!) Comment some things you wanna see in the last chapter!!

Ask box is always open to ask Jasper and Ally some things about their relationship that you have ALWAYS wondered! 

That night, I’m laying on Charlotte’s bed, reading her a bedtime story. Well it’s not really a bedtime story, but rather it’s a book that’s filled with poems. Edward bought her the book so that she can get into poetry. It’ll give them something in common. He bought it before she got into piano but Charlotte loves it when we read this book to her anyway. This specific poem is called The Lotos-eaters  which is by Alfred-Lord Tennyson.

“There is sweet music that softer falls, than petals from blown roses on the grass.” I read aloud. “Or night-dews on still waters between walls, of shadowy granite, in a gleaming pass. Music that brings sweet sleep down from the blissful skies.”

I glance down at Charlotte who’s laying in my arms. Her eyes are closed and I smile. I gently move her and put the book on the side table after marking the spot we managed to get to tonight.

“Mommy?” Her sweet, precious and oh-so-innocent voice whispers.

“Yes, baby?” I look back down at her.

“Did Aunt Alice and Uncle Kevin run away because we’re gonna die?” She opens her eyes. “Because of me?”

“No, sweetie. I think they left to keep us safer.” I admit. “That’s what all these other people are here for too. I’ll never let anybody hurt you.” 

I kiss her head and cover her up more. She snuggles to her stuffed bunny that Emmett bought for her.

“Go to sleep baby.” I whisper before standing up.

I turn off her lights before walking into the living room. I sigh and pick up the note that Alice left with Sam. Why would they just leave? I sit down on the couch while reading the note over and over. I glance up after a few minutes when I hear quiet footsteps. 

“It’s strange. Physically, I feel like I could demolish a tank...Mentally? I just feel drained.” I look away from Jasper as he sits down next to me.

“How about a bath?” He asks, leaning over to me. 

He starts kissing on my shoulder making me bite my lip softly. He reaches over and unbuttons my shirt...technically his shirt because I stole it from his part of the closet. I giggle slightly.

“I do remember how to undress myself, you know?” I smirk at him.

“Yeah, I just do it so much better.” He kisses my shoulder again. “For you, it’s just another mundane task. For me? It’s fun!”

I giggle slightly before looking back at Alice’s note and sigh. 

“Ally, I’ve had a bad habit of underestimating you.” Jasper admits, looking at the note, keeping his chin on my shoulder. “Every obstacle you’ve faced, I’d think you couldn’t overcome it...and you did. You’re the reason I have something to fight for...My family.”

I look up at him and smile before kissing his lips, softly and yet still passionate enough to express all my love for him that I could never express in words alone. He smiles into the kiss before slowly leaning back, breaking the brief skin to skin contact.

“I’m gonna get the water running.” He stands up and kisses my forehead.

He walks into another part of the house and I stare down at the note. I flip it over to read the name of the book she ripped it from for the fifth time. Raising an eyebrow, I glance over to the bookcase that Jasper made sure to put in the house. The book is in the middle of the second row. I quickly stand up and speed over to it. Taking the book into my hands before taking a deep unneeded breath.

I open it before flipping, page by page until I see a familiar handwriting. Right before the first chapter, there’s another note from Alice. 

‘J. Jenks, Seattle - destroy this.’

I raise an eyebrow once again. Alice made sure only I would get the message. She must have had a vision that I was a shield just like Bella and that my mind would be safe from Aro. I glance up when I hear Jasper’s footsteps again and I quickly throw the book into the fireplace. 

The fire welcomes the book and starts burning it quickly. 

***

The next day, I call and make an appointment with this J. Jenks. I decide to take Charlotte to my dad’s house to decorate the Christmas tree since Christmas is just around the corner. Seth wants to come with since his mom would be there as well as his imprint.

“You said your dad knows about you?” Seth asks, glancing at me from the passenger seat.

I nod. “Yep. He just doesn’t know about you guys. All he does know is that you and your mom know about me and the Cullens. I also don’t want him to come around the house with the 27 vampires. All of them around one human? That wouldn’t be so great. I don’t think that any of them have as good self control as I do.”

He chuckles before nodding. “I’m glad to get away from them. Their eyes kinda scare me. And their smell makes my wolf super mad.” 

I glance over at him with a raised eyebrow.

“I know they’re the good guys but my wolf wants to attack. You’re different. You’re the mother of my imprint. My wolf likes you.” He chuckles again.

I nod in understanding before parking in front of my dad’s house. My dad and Sue walk out of the house just as Charlotte unbuckles her seat and jumps out. 

“There she is!”

I get out at the same time as Seth. My dad catches Charlotte in his arms and swings her around for a second.

“Wow! Look at you! You’ve grown half a foot!” Dad says, wrapping an arm around her. “Seriously! Like six inches!”

She laughs and hugs him. 

“Come on inside. Lunch is on the table.” Sue smiles and waves us toward the door.

“We got a tree to decorate, huh?” Dad smiles widely at Charlotte who nods fast.

“I’ve actually got a few errands to run. I’ll be back soon, okay?” I call out.

My dad looks at me and nods. “Is it a...Family thing?”

I get what he means. Is it a Vampire thing?

“Yep. Don’t worry. I’ll be back in time for the star on the top.” I smile widely.

“You see, Charlie, mommy over there ALWAYS puts the star on top.” Dad tells Charlotte.

“Really?” She giggles. 

“Yep! It’s been her job since she was your age!” Dad kisses her head before waving at me. “Maybe even younger!”

I giggle and wave.

“Love you, guys!” I call out before getting into my car.

I hear them yell it back before I pull away from the house. I drive all the way to Seattle with one thing on my mind. ‘Alice’s note gave me a sense of hope. Maybe she had a plan for us after all and maybe J. Jenks was the key.’  I pull into the restaurant that we agreed to meet at this morning and I park my car. I walk inside at a human speed before being directed to his table.

I see an African American man sitting down with a briefcase in his lap. I stop by the table causing him to look up.

“Miss Swan.” He stands up and puts his hand out.

“Hi.” I smile and shake his hand.

“I am so happy you called.” He admits before we both sit down. “I always meet my private clients here, it’s more….comfortable than the office.”

“And it’s more public.” I nod.

He smiles before nodding. “Yes.”

“So what type of work do you do, J?” I ask, putting my hands in my lap.

“You know, this and that. It’s always different which keeps it interesting.” He reveals.

“Have you known Alice and Kevin long?” I ask.

“I’ve been working with them for more than 20 years. And my late partner knew Kevin 15 years before that. He’s...uh...unusually well preserved.” He whispers.

“Yes, he is.” I nod.

“I trust that Mr. Kevin is enjoying his vacation?” J raises an eyebrow.

“He didn’t tell you where he was going, did he?”

“No, no, no. He just mentioned that he was leaving when he came by to place his order.” J moves his briefcase.

“I assume his order is ready?” I bite my lip.

“Of course. I’ve never been late with a delivery.”

He opens his briefcase and hands me an envelope. I open it up to find forged passports and documentation for Charlotte and Seth. I bite my lip. Only they will be getting away if something happens. Jasper and I might lose our lives in this battle, but at least our child will be safe. That’s what matters to him and I at this point.

“Is there a problem?” J speaks up.

“No, my fiance and I thought we’d all be traveling together.” I lie easily.

“Kevin said only two were traveling. His instructions were very clear.” J says.

“It’s my mistake. Apparently that’s not going to happen.” I sigh.

J and I quickly end our meeting and I drive back to my dad's house. Alice’s vision was clear. Charlotte would have a future but...Jasper and I wouldn’t be a part of it. That night, I watch as Jasper quickly picks up Charlotte who squeals in delight before hugging him close. I smile and bite my lip, trying to get all the memories in now. If something happens...I want to know that we’ve done everything we could for her.

I walk into her room and quickly pack a bag. Packing in some clothes she’d need and money that I'd stashed away for a while, I make sure to get whatever I think might make her happy for her new life...one without her parents in it, if it comes to it. I grab one of her notebooks and write her a note.

‘My beautiful and wonderful Charlotte, I thought we would have forever together. But Forever isn’t as long as I’d hoped. I know now why Alice left me clues...It’s to keep you safe. Everything you and Seth will need is in this bag. Seth will protect you and he’ll help you learn about the Quileute Legends. Know that your father and I love you more than anything in this world. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. Hopefully one day you will be able to have your own children and know exactly what I feel everytime I look at you. 

Love Always and Forever,

Mommy <3’

I jump when I hear a small knock on the door. Alistair is smirking down at me. 

“It’s a romantic notion, isn’t it? That a righteous few can defy a great evil. But I must admit you...uh..even had me believing for a moment. Well, good luck.” He says before walking away. “You’re gonna need it. Cheers.”

I jump out of my seat and grab onto his arm. His head snaps toward me.

“Alistair, it’s a precaution. Alice…” I sigh. “Alice thinks that Charlotte and Seth will be able to get away if the fight does start. I want my child safe. You have to understand that.”

“I do…” He starts.

“Please. Don’t leave.” I whisper. “We need you.”

He sighs and nods. “If a fight starts...I’m out just like your family.”

“I understand that.” I nod. “But please...witness with them as well...”

He nods before I gently remove his arm.

“Thank you.” I whisper again. “I owe you. Anything you need.”

“I’ll hold you to that...forever.” He smirks.

I giggle and nod. “Forever.” 

He quickly speeds out of the room. 

***

Dad has been asking about Bella. I finally had to reveal the truth...like I have done for everything. I told him that Bella was mad that I had gotten pregnant so she left. She wanted Edward to be angry as well but he was excited. He wanted to get to know his niece so Bella left him. 

Dad was upset. Said, ‘How could she do this? It’s not like it’s the end of the world that you got pregnant.’ I told him how she wanted to be a vampire and because I got pregnant it ruined her plans. He just rolled his eyes and shook his head before I put the star on the tree yesterday. But today is Christmas and we’re, of course, spending it with my dad, Sue, and Leah. 

I sit on the arm of the couch watching Charlotte and Seth play a game on the floor. I giggle as Charlotte wins for the 2nd time in a row.

“How are you doing that?” Seth asks, staring at the board.

She giggles. “Uncle Emmett loves this game!”

“Again!” Seth resets the board.

I shake my head and look up when I feel a hand on my back. Jasper smiles down at me.

“Hi, sweetie.” I whisper softly.

He winks before kissing the top of my head.

“The snow is sticking.” I sigh.

“We still have today, baby.” He rubs my back.

I nod just as my dad walks out of the kitchen.

“Alright! Present time! Leah, stop eating. Seth, you start. Get it going.” Dad sits down in his favorite chair.

Seth hands a small package to Charlotte when I stand up.

“Here, dad. We didn’t have time to wrap yours.” I hold out an envelope.

He raises an eyebrow before taking it. He opens it and his eyes widen.

“A five day fishing trip to Fraser River?” He looks at us.

“It's for you and Sue.” I smile widely.

Jasper wraps an arm around my waist. “You leave tomorrow.”

“Wow, that’s really nice. Thank you!” He starts to read the tickets before his head snaps up. “Tomorrow? I can’t...I can’t leave tomorrow.”

“I made arrangements for you at work.” Sue walks in with two cups. 

He nods. “Sneaky and extravagant.”

“And non-refundable, I’m afraid.” Jasper speaks up with a smile. 

“You two trying to get rid of me?” Dad asks, watching us. Jasper and I glance at each other before looking at him again. “‘Cause it’s working.”

Dad laughs and looks back at the tickets. I relax and smile. He doesn’t know about this meeting we’re going to have. He just knows that the Cullens, Jasper, Seth, Leah, Charlotte and I are going on a small vacation so we won’t be home. 

“Fraser River...that means we’ll be chasing cutthroat.” Dad looks up to Sue who sits on the arm of his chair.

“We might even hook a rainbow or some bulls.” She smiles.

“Woman knows her trout.” Dad smiles at me.

I’m happy he found Sue. Someone he’s known his whole life and knows about my… condition and isn’t gonna ask why his granddaughter was looking 6 years old yesterday and now she’s looking like she’s going to be 12 next week. Charlotte stands up and holds up her present from Seth. I kneel down to her level.

“Hey, sweetie. That’s beautiful. Let me see.” I take the bracelet from her hand.

My eyes light up when I realize what it is. It’s a Quileute Promise Bracelet. It’s their version of a promise ring. I glance at Seth with a smile.

“Seth made this for you?” I ask, causing her to nod fast. “Wanna put it on?”

I put it on her wrist before kissing her head. She giggles.

“It’s so pretty.” She looks up at me.

“It is pretty. Just like you.” I poke her nose which makes her giggle. “Don’t forget to thank Seth.”

She turns to him and hugs him around his neck. I look up at Jasper who is smiling down at me. Best Christmas ever. 

***

I finish putting up Charlotte’s tent. We only left my dad’s house a few hours ago and now we’re having a small bonfire before we have the…meeting tomorrow. I make sure she’s covered up before I read her a little more of her poem book. Right before she falls asleep, I give her a locket that Jasper got me for our first Christmas together a long time ago. 

She opens it to reveal the photo of Jasper and I from our first date. The one where we’re dating and I’m laughing at him making fun of the instructor. Next to it the words ‘Plus Que Ma Propre Vie’ are engraved.

I kiss her head before whispering. “This means ‘more than my own life’, and that’s how much your father and I love you. Tomorrow I’m going to need you to stay with Seth, no matter what. Even if I tell him that…” I sigh. “That he has to take you somewhere.”

Charlotte looks up at me with a few tears running down her cheeks. 

“I love you, mommy.” 

“I love you, sweetie. Never ever forget that, okay?” I kiss her head again.

She nods against me. It doesn’t take long for her to fall asleep. I quietly slip out from under her when Seth crawls in. I pat his back and crawl out before standing beside Paul who’s hanging out at our bonfire tonight. He smiles and looks back at his small pile of wood. Benjamin walks over with a smile. He holds up one finger and fire appears. 

I shake my head with a giggle. He holds up three more fingers, fire at all the tips. He then throws the fire at the logs creating our bonfire.

“That’s what I’m talking about. A little pre-battle bonfire, telling war stories.” Paul cheers a little before grabbing my arm, gently.

He pulls me down to the log where he’s now sitting causing me to sit on the edge. I bump my hips into his and he scoots over. Benjamin sits down next to him with a smile. Paul looks up at the rest of our witnesses with a raised eyebrow.

“What are you doing, standing there like a fucking statue?” He scuffs.

I playfully, and gently, smack his leg before pointing toward Charlotte’s tent.

“She’s asleep.” He rolls his eyes before smiling at me.

Garrett speeds over and sits down on a log next to ours. 

“Name any American Battle, I was there.” He smirks.

“Little Big Horn.” Paul immediately says.

“I came this close…” He holds up two fingers. “...to biting Custer but the Indians caught him first.”

Kate speeds over and sits to Garrett.

“Try Oleg’s assault on Constantinople, he didn’t win that one on his own.” She smirks at him.

“If you’re talking about battles, you’re talking about the Eleven Years War. No one does rebellion like the Irish.” Liam speaks up from where his family’s sitting.

“You lost the Eleven Years War.” Garrett points out.

“Aye.” Liam nods. “But it was one hell of a rebellion.”

Everyone laughs and agrees with him. I try to listen to the rest of the battles and war stories but my ears pick up Jasper, Edward and Carlisle’s conversation.

“I can’t help thinking, all these people are putting themselves in danger because we fell in love with humans.” Edward mumbles.

“You guys found your mates. You deserve to be happy.” Carlisle pats his shoulder.

“But at what cost?” Jasper glances at his adoptive, vampire father.

“Everyone here has something to fight for. I certainly do. I have a granddaughter that I never thought I would have. I have a wife...my children. I would fight every day for them if I had too.” Carlisle reveals. 

I feel eyes on the back of my head before someone else speaks.

“I never thanked you for bringing Alice, Kevin and I in. If you never did, I wouldn’t have the life I do now.” Jasper whispers but not low enough.

“Don’t thank me.” Carlisle chuckles. “Thank that wonderful woman you’ve got.”

A few seconds later I feel Jasper speed over to me. I look up just as he kneels and wraps his arms around my neck from behind.

“I love you.” He whispers in my ear.

I put my hands on his forearms and smile widely. “I love you, Mr. Whitlock-Hale.”

He kisses the back of my head before letting me go. I watch him bump into Paul’s back. Paul looks up, briefly, before asking Benjamin to scoot down. He does and Paul scoots down, following him. I scoot down the log as well. Jasper takes his place next to me, gently taking my hand, and weaving our fingers together as looks at everyone. Paul smirks and leans down. 

“Finally found some people older than you, Mr. Steak Sauce.” 

Jasper laughs and nods. “You’re right about that, kid.”

“I’m not a kid!” Paul playfully glares at him.

“Besides Charlotte and Seth, you are literally the youngest!” Jasper laughs.

“Least I’m not hard as a rock.” Paul crosses his arms. 

I snort softly, hiding my face against Jasper’s neck, whispering. “I like it when you’re hard as a rock.”

“At least I’m not hairy.” Jasper retorts, gently squeezing my hand, before whispering, low enough for just me to hear. “I know you do, baby.”

Everyone laughs and Paul grumbles to himself. Garrett smirks before bringing up another battle he was in...but Kate reveals he needed help there as well.

[shuturxface]

Quarantine has, completely out of no where, compelled me to re-read The Life and Times. I finished three days ago and yes I’m still crying. BUT! to get my emotions out I wrote something of a “review”. It’s really just my thoughts about everything. No one asked but I’m posting it anyway. 

Please enjoy, it’s below. Be warned, there are *spoilers*: 

Thoughts and Musings:

I don’t particularly know why I’ve been so affected by The Life and Times this go around. I’ve always loved it, but I don’t think I’ve ever cried when Alice Griffiths (now Longbottom) tells Lily that she’s spontaneously marrying Frank Longbottom. And I also don’t think that I’ve ever felt more than fondness towards Marlene Price and Adam Mckinnon. And, I’ve always disliked Carlotta Meloni (especially during the summer and 7thyear), but I never actually hated her character. All until now. The first time I read The Life and Times, I really, really enjoyed it and appreciated the characters and the plot and the realism– like, come on, of course they’re not going to make out in the middle of an escape! However, I was, admittedly, disappointed with the lack of James/Lily action. Not that it was scarce, there certainly was a lot! But this time around, I finally realized why Jewels wrote it in that way. Lily disliked James – possibly resented him – for five years, and more strongly much more recently (I expect her unsavory opinions of him were most prominent during 5thyear, what with his excessive exclamations of “go on a date with me, Evans”). Of course, it’s going to take more than a few weeks to erase that! And it’s not like it could take less time, because, realistically, why would Lily want to spend that much more time with James if she wasn’t fond of him, and if they kept fighting. Honestly, their development as friends is much more interesting, and it shows an in-depth thought processes of fleshing out the characters. I am thoroughly moved by the fact that it doesn’t happen over-night or within a few days.

I’ve also read complaints about how James Potter is acting disinterested in Lily. To them I say: did you even read the goddamnstory?! Did you pass over the parts where he watches her when she’s not looking, and the parts where he is upset with himself for how strongly he feels about her?! If James Potter is anything, he is not an idiot (however idiotic he may act sometimes). From what the (actual HP) books show, James was interested in Lily and kept asking her out in their 5thyear. If I recall correctly, it was implied that he may have done so years prior. It is also stated, by Sirius Black, that they got together in 7thyear. Once again, that transformation from enemies to lovers is not going to happen overnight, and is definitely not going to happen if James Potter kept overtly obsessing over her in 6thyear. Also (!) there is a perfectly reasonable explanation Jewels gives us for why he acted this way: he wanted to get over her. Not only does this prove that he liked her deeply, not just superficially, but also that he got the message. He would have been truly, very thick had he not.

But back to the matter at hand. For some reason, this time around (I don’t remember, possibly third), I’ve been thoroughly engrossed and cried at different intervals of the story more so than before. I sobbed at the end of chapter 30, “The Worst Day Ever” in which it followed each character (Carlotta, Marlene, Donna, Mary, and Lily) on September 1st. I cried terribly during the last two chapters with the attack on the M.F.P. conference – the tension and the unknowing, and worst of all, the death of Sam Dearborn. Quickly, a word about Sam. Somehow, through so few chapters, Jewels created such a lovable character (limited in “screen time”) that his death (and Lily and James’ reaction to it) caused me to cry on multiple occasions. Jewels was able to capture the anguish of her characters so well, that for a moment I forgot it was a story at all and felt it myself. I cried when Sirius Black told Lily Evans that she “fit” with the Marauders, after she asked him why he was so sure she and James belonged together. I have absolutely no idea how she managed to utterly take me apart in the span of 3 days and 36 chapters, but no fanfiction has been able to do that.

I am fully in awe of what Jewels has created – The Life and Times is a work of art, capturing the 1970s in the Wizarding World perfectly. Would I like to see how each James and Lily, how Adam and Marlene, Mary and Reginald get together? No, I would love it. Am I still curious of how on earth all those 87 wizards and witches were murdered at the Magic For Peace convention, leaving no survivors? No, I’m haunted by it. And while there are parts that are frustrating to read (some sexist and misogynistic parts, especially from a few Ravenclaws are particularly uncomfortable), I also think she delivers an accurate representation of the 70s, which were much less politically correct that the world is today. She is not even encouraging this behavior because it’s all made by unlikeable “villainous” characters – not particularly evil, but definitely malicious.

Because Jewels created this story so magnificently, only she knew where it was headed and how it would play out. She wrote it so uniquely, using quick dialogue that made me feel that I was actually there. Phrasing her syntax in such a way that her descriptions were musical and poetic and completely relatable. Her chapter structures kept me on my toes, each one with its own unique flavor, yet all of them unified, flowing from one to the other perfectly.

Not only that, she created characters with strong, redeeming qualities as well as true, trying weaknesses. Lily Evans: she created Lily to be a kind individual that always sought to see the good in others, as J.K. Rowling told us she was. But she also made Lily imaginative and contemplative and romantic and strong, and, yes, sorrowful, fearful, angry, and (most importantly, if you ask me) not willing to discuss her real feelings with anyone, thus slightly hypocritical. James Potter: Jewels created James to be loyal, clever, more-than-slightly arrogant, humorous, brave, and even compassionate. But she also made him brooding, impulsive, hot headed, and many times, a prick. I could go on, but the main point is this: Jewels created complex characters. She didn’t make a wondrous, unfailingly kind Lily (if she were, why did she and James butt heads so viciously?), or a comical, lovesick James, a cheeky, brazen Sirius, a quiet, sentimental Remus, a quivering Pettigrew, or a moody, jealous Snape (yes, even he had more to him than this – drive and hunger to prove himself). Jewels created characters with depth! Characters that made mistakes and don’t just immediately learn from them. Hell, she made teenage characters in a fanfiction that didn’t ultimately think with their primary sex organ – characters that were able to see that there were more important things happening besides who’s shagging who. Of course, there were characters that were interested in this, but they’re not the type of people that would go to a protest at the Ministry of Magic (and, obviously, this just strengthens the certainty that James and Lily truly belong together). Essentially, Jewels created characters that are sometimes hard to like. She showed us real emotions and feelings and struggles like a proper novel. She went further than an exploration of two people’s love life and gave contextual reasons to their coming together, and why their relationship was so important in the greater scheme of Harry Potter. She created multiple storylines, intricately woven together, incorporating briefly mentioned characters in the Harry Potter series and giving them backstory and personalities. Jewels created a world within J.K. Rowling’s universe with complex political turmoil.

I fully and strongly admire the work and dedication that Jewels put into The Life and Times. I feel that it’s wishful thinking that she might return to this story after all these years (has it really been seven already?!), but I can’t help but wish all the same. I do understand because life does have a habit of getting in the way and people move on. I’m truly grateful for Jewels and what she gave to the world. No other fanfiction will ever evoke the feelings that The Life and Times does. No matter the emotional strife this story gives me, I will always be grateful, and it will always be my favorite. Thank you, Jewels.

[youralternantpersonality]

Wallflower

Embry x Reader: Wallflower

Anon request: Hey! so I just wanted to do a request. [Paul: He finds reader lost and cold in the forest.] and (if you can) [Embry: Reader was part of Victoria’s army and he imprints with her while they're fighting.] Thanks! I just love your stories.

Warning: Bree was unjustly killed, and I hate S. Meyer for it. The ending is kind of shitty sorry. Also, I feel like it is necessary that I post in hopes that it takes other's minds off of everything that is going on. I know it doesn't do too much, but I hope it helps and does enough.

Paul’s request can be found here

***

Y/n POV

I watch everyone in the corner of the room going batshit crazy with hunger. We are cramped up in a warehouse somewhere deep in the southeast side of the docs in Seattle. I was one of the first few victims of Victoria and Riley. I knew what they were up to, and I knew she is playing Riley like a play-toy because I had been watching Victoria closely. Every day, it's someone new, and every day that someone new may end up dying because she starves them until they all go crazy.

Except for me, and that terrifies her.

I have always been the invisible one—the wallflower of every group of friends I had. I was also a runner and observant of everything and everyone. Cautious of everything and everyone. The second I got an inkling that shit was going south, I was gone. It explains my surveillance ability; to see tactical and strategic plans and details of someone and my surroundings. For example, Victoria, she has one goal in mind but changes her pathways every time. Her issue is that she only plans out two different options without thinking of another one. And that’s where she downfalls at. Because the worst thing to do is to be a step behind an obvious move. I know she has warned Riley of me. Both are unknown to what I can do. If I’m honest, if I liked the bitch, I would help her plan on taking down the Cullen.

Plus, if I liked her, I’d also warn her that we are actively watched. I look over to the left side of the roofless room to see four figures with bright red eyes—Three guys and one girl. They’ve came by almost every night for the past 2 weeks, and Victoria and Riley haven’t noticed a thing. And as usual, I make direct eye contact with them, nod my head a hello, and turn back to the room of bastards I’m stuck with. I know how this is going to end for everyone, including me. Death. Without a second thought. And Victoria and Riley, especially Riley, included in that equation. And by the looks of those four, I already know that there’s not a chance in hell I would survive if I was to go out hunting now. They’d kill me in a heartbeat.

I looked over to see the only two people I like in this room of chaos—a small petite girl named Bree and a guy around her age named Louis. Bree was no older than 14, and Louis was 15. It’s sad to see young lives lost and gone for good, thanks to a selfish bitch and her puppy. The second Victoria and Riley brought them in, I took care of them. They’re the youngest of everyone, and I reassured Riley to not go after younger kids if he wants to live another day. He took my threat heavily and never bit another kid under 17.

“Enough!” Macho man Riley screamed. I rolled my eyes and listened anyway. “We leave in an hour. Remember, when you see them, demolish them! They will kill you before you kill them.”

“Oh please,” Sabastian said, flexing his muscles, “They wish they can take me down.”

“With that attitude, you’ll be down in five, maybe ten minutes tops.” Another kid said on the other side. I can’t say he’s wrong.

“Why don’t you say that to my face!” Sabastian called out.

“HEY!” we all look up to see the red queen has finally blessed us with her glory. “Let’s save the fighting for later. Right now, we must prepare to head out. The Cullen’s are dangerous; they will play mind games on you and have you believed in lies. They took my family, and they will take many others if we don’t.” she says, giving a weeping sad story. I roll my eyes at her drama.

“So, what does that have to do with us? Yeah, they took your family, but you took us from ours.” I say. I’m tired of this bullshit with them. The second we leave, I’m out when I know I’m in the clear. I already know that when we land, Riley and Victoria will be nowhere to be found, leaving us for death.

“Excuse me?” Victoria squints her eyes at me. I know she is about to charge at me, so I calm my body language while she tenses hers up. I have always been a threat to her. I was a step ahead of her, always. My mannerism, my inability to not be terrified of her, worries her more than Riley turning on her. And oh, how I love to see this bitch suffer.

“Why should we help you when you killed and took us away from our family. didn’t you technically do the same thing they did to us?” Everyone was quiet. In a millisecond, Victoria took her step forward while I slid to my right just as she was about to grab me. She was fast, but I was a step ahead of her. she looked at me with wide eyes as I smiled.

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you not to underestimate the quiet ones?” I whisper just low enough for her to hear. She straightened herself up and walked towards the front. When she turned back, her eyes were wild with anger, and told us we are leaving. So, like the minions we have to be, we followed her. I wonder if there’s a tree tall enough for me to hid in to watch her get killed.

Embry’s POV

“What goddamn army?” Jake said, talking to the Cullen’s in their lair.

“We believe the Volturi is setting up an army nearby,” Carlisle said.

“I don’t see Aro making the decisions.” Pixie said. Alice? Pixie.

“It has to be Victoria,” Edward said,

“Victoria? Who’s Victoria?” Jake asked.

“A vampire that is after Bella. I killed her mate, trying to protect Bella, and now she is seeking revenge.” Edward replied. Ah, so it’s the human girl's fault. Interesting.

“We’re in,” Jake said, we all nodded, and Bella disagreed for Jacob. The absolute fuck? After planning a time to meet up with the Cullen’s for a “training” session to fight these new-borns, we head home and notify Sam. Needless to say, Sam was pissed but called up Carlisle to set up a meeting time later that morning.

A week later, we are hiding behind the trees waiting for the children of the fields to arrive. Not too long after did everything go down. There were about 25 versus our group of 12. Seth and Jake were up in the mountains with Edward and Bella.

On my call! —Sam

3—We can hear them coming closer and closer.

2—We prepare ourselves in a low crouching position

1—We see the first breakthrough

NOW!

We jump just in time to see the leaches leap over a small hill above us. Not preparing for what was to come did some of them back off slightly. They came from all over, nonstop. I don’t think they were ready for this. I look over to see Esme attempting to fight off two when I ran to help.

Y/N POV

I told Louis and Bree what they were going to do, and they did exactly what I thought. Instead of fighting, we hid behind some bushes since there were no trees nearby. We watched everything go down, and I was happy to see Leo, Thomas, and Krystina fall to their demise. Now, if only they could get Sebast-

“Fuck.” I say, putting Bree and Louis behind me backing away. The two older couple watches us, and I can see they don’t see us as a threat. They look back, and the lady stays behind.

“Who are you?” She asks. I cautiously look at her, making sure Louis and Bree stay behind me.

“I am Y/n, this is Louis and Bree. We are victims of Victoria but refuse to fight. Who are you?” I say,

“I am Esme Cullen,” She looks behind her quickly, “Stay here and do not move.” I nodded my head, and we went back down to a crouching position. We watch closely as the last few people are being killed off while some of the Cullen’s clean up. Esme and the other man who was with her come back to us, and we step forward. Bree and Louis grab my hand, and we slowly walk towards them.

“SAM NO!” I look over to see a giant black wolf charging towards us. I push Louis and Bree towards Esme and duck just as he was about to have his teeth attached to my head. I turn around to see him just look at me and notice another wolf behind him. I start weighing my options when I made eye contact with that other wolf, but I froze. I couldn’t see anyone or anything but the wolf. It was gross, honestly; why the hell would I want to care about a wolf?

“Embry imprinted.” Says one of the guys. The big black wolf looked towards the guy and back at the wolf who was about to walk forward until,

“Leah, look out!” Everyone turned to the silver and white wolf as Sebastian comes up behind her. Before he could do anything, another wolf comes and gets him off her. But before anyone else could react, Sabastian got ahold of the wolf and broke his bones. Thankfully the female wolf finally, killed Sabastian but the young wolf who saved her transformed into a human? What the fuck?

“What the fuck? They’re shapeshifters?” I ask quietly to no one. Soon after, the then naked man was fully clothed, and his friends come from the bushes dressed and grabbed him. Before altogether leaving, I man—lean yet buff. More of an angled sharp face with wide brown eyes looked back at me. It doesn’t take astrophysics to know that that was Embry carrying the injured young wolf.

“They’re coming.” A pixie girl said. Shit. I recollect the only four people who know of us. The guy who called out about Embry looked towards me when I thought of their face.

“You’re the mind reader, aren’t you?” He nods his head. “I don’t know who they are, but they’ve been watching us for weeks. I’ve made eye contact with them constantly, but I’m not stupid enough to actually go and risk my life talking to them.” He looks at me and nods again. Not long after, they come in the most dramatic way possible. They step out of the bushes with their hoods on and in unison flip them back. Dramatic much?

“I see you’ve taken down a great hit. Shocking with the size of them.” The blonde girl said.

“We were fortunate,” Carlisle said.

“You may have known their creator, Victoria.” Mindreader said.

“Edward, if the Volturi knew this was going to happen, they would’ve stopped it. Isn’t that right, Jane?”

“Yes.  I see you saved some.” Jane calls us out.

“They offered their surrender-” Esme explained.

“I’ll be the judge of that. Who are you?” Out of nowhere, a striking hit of pain erupted through us. It was horrifying. “Who created you? Why did you come here?” we screamed louder.

“Please! They’ll tell you everything you want to know.” The pain suddenly stopped.

“I know,” the conniving little bitch, “Answer me.” She says, looking at me.

“I am Y/n, she is Bree, and his name is Louis. Victoria created me, and Riley created them. Victoria only said that we were to avenge her family's death that the Cullen took part in. We had no choice but planned on leaving as soon as possible. Before running into Esme and Carlisle.” As I was speaking, I noticed Jane was looking at Louis strangely. I looked at Louis, and he had a grin on his face. Jane looked back at Bree and me.

“We’ll let you go if one of you surrenders to show proof to our master, Aro.” She says, looking at Louis. The other guys with her are confused until they see where her eyes are leading too. Louis smiles and shrugs his shoulder.

“I’ll do it,” he says while looking at her. Jane smiles and looks at us,

“Then it’s settled. You may roam free, but do anything wrong, you will be caught.” She turns towards the female girl, “I see she’s still human. I bet Caius would like to know that.”

“The date is set.”

“Good, let this be a warning to you. The Volturi doesn’t give second chances.” She looks towards Louis, “Let’s go home, Louis.” She says with a smile. He turns towards Bree and me and hugs us, then speeds off next to Jane.

“Well, that was interesting.” A big guy said. He turned towards Bree and me and said, “Welcome to the family!” then proceeds to pick us both up and hug us.

“Emmett put them down; they’re not toys.” A blonde chick said.

“But, Rosie!”

“NOW, Emmett.” She said. He, begrudgingly, put us down, and patted our head.

“Why don’t we head back to the house, and you can explain to us who you guys are.” Carlisle.

The following week

Bree and I just got back from hunting with Esme and Rosalie when Alice met us halfway home. With some clothes to change into.

“I would suggest putting these on. We have to meet up with the wolves really quick.” She says, shoving clothes in our arms and pushing us into the woods.

“Uh, Alice is there a reason as to why I am wearing waist-high jeans, a crop-top, and some heals. I’m not complaining, just asking for scientific reasons.” I say, stepping out of the trees. Bree comes out with a black and white poke-a-dot dress with a yellow bowtie around the waist with black heals.

“Yeah. Although the dress is cute. And it has pockets!” Bree announces.

“Yes, there is actually. And to receive your answers, come with me.” Alice says before taking off.

“Oh lord, what did she see this time,” Rosalie said, rolling her eyes. We get to a small clearing and wait to see the rest of the Cullen’s and the wolves. As we approach, I see the brown wolf before. I’d recognize his eyes from anywhere.

“Thank you for joining us, girls. Edward will translate for us; they would prefer to stay in their form.” Carlisle said, giving Edward the floor.

“Do you know what imprinting, or in our term, mating means?” Edward asked both Bree and me. We nodded our head, and he continued, “It has come to the realization that both Bree and Y/n have imprinted on Embry and Seth.” Just then, two wolves stepped forward. Bree, without hesitation, went up to the gray-colored wolf and smiled. He did as much as a regular oversized giant bear of a dog could smile. I looked at the brown wolf in front of me, timid and shier than Bree. He took a step towards me, too, until we were in front of each other.

“Can I touch you?” I ask, unsure if he has full control over himself or not. He nods his head and allows me to do so. All I can feel is warmth and soft fur flowing through my fingers. I smile, and they both step into the woods. When they come back, they come as their human forms. Seth easily runs up and hugs Bree and twirls her around. Embry, however, steps up to me and just looks at me. We do nothing but stare at one another until he smiles. I couldn’t help but smile back at him.

“I think we’re good here, guys. She’s decently innocent.” He says, looking back at me and winks. I smile up at him and look around.

“Have fun,” Alice says before taking off with everyone else. I look over at Bree and Seth and see them walking together somewhere away from us. I look up at my mate and ask,

“So, tell me about yourself, Embry.” And we proceed to have a never-ending conversation.

Bonus scene: Narrator POV

A year has gone by, and Embry and I are still happy together. After dealing with the Volturi due to Bella and Edwards's ability to have a kid, and the snitch of a cousin in Denali who tried to get us all killed (snitches get stitches and end up in ditches bitch), Embry and I were finally able to relax. I won't lie, it was hard seeing Louis on that side. And I can tell it was hard for him to see in this fucked up situation, but when they turned to leave, we all got to smile at each other before disappearing into the woods with the rest of the Volturi.

Currently, Embry and I are in my room in Forks. After the war, everyone decided to pack up and leave, and Bree and I promised to visit them wherever they end up being at soon. Bree and I stayed behind because of Embry and Seth, and because with the amount of forest surrounding, it would be better for us since we are still learning to adapt to this diet.

“Hey, Y/n.”

“Yes, my love?” I turn towards Embry and watch him. He seemed worried.

“I love you, and I know you might feel as if this is too much or too soon, but,” he proceeded to take my left hand and slide a small band on it, “will you do me the honors of being my wife?” All I could do was look at the ring. If I could cry, I would. I quickly turn towards him and kiss him.

“Yes. I am fucking in love with you, Embry Call.”

“I love you too, Y/f/n Y/l/n.” Who would’ve thought that I would be lucky enough to land a fantastic guy like him with my fucked-up situation? I can honestly say this was one move I didn’t see coming.

MasterList

[hufflepuffdean]

alright so like. I just rewrote 15.20 in my head following most of the episode parameters and it’s amazing how much better it makes me feel? I do have an idea for a fully canon-compliant fic and I do feel a bit better about the finale than I think most do, but I wanted to barf this out lol. it’s not COVID-compliant, but again, it does fit what the ep was trying to do I think. I’m trying not to be like a Polyanna asshole or whatever because I’m seeing people be condescending as fuck but writing this out works for me so I hope this works for someone else?

the ep can still open with the montage and definitely still include Miracle. but make it clear way more time is passing. like, a matter of years. at least five. we can see Sam and Dean on various hunts but also them doing some normie things. Sam in a Zoom class (no, COVID doesn’t exist here, he just is busy lol) and Dean working at a bar. it’s clear they’re happy. and again, it’s clear it’s been several years.

I’m ngl I’m not super married (no pun intended) to Sam/Eileen like a lot of D/C fandom but it’s been established and it does work easily within the show without having to be like Awkward New Romance. so she’s there too sometimes. 

there’s definitely a part where both Sam and Dean are looking through pictures of those they’ve lost. Dean can like look at a picture of Cas and say... thank you, I won’t waste it, looking at the picture. I feel like people would be pissed he’s not looking for Cas but again, I’m not totally changing the structure here to make the episode #actually a Cas rescue, and it would be hopefully clear why he’s not looking, that he missed him but thought it was what Cas would have wanted in his sacrifice. plus there’s a payoff at the end here.

eventually someone shows up with the uh, vampire juggalo case where they haven’t been able to save all the kids. I do not want them to be clowns and it is my version so they are not. anyway Sam and Dean go off on that hunt.

the barn scene... okay well first there’s no Jenny because dude I am obsessed with this show and have watched S1 at least four times and I love every minor character and I had no idea who she was until the flashbacks and also she didn’t even do anything wtf was that. 

mostly I fucking hate that Dean has to die at all! but again, we’re sticking to the episode’s basic structure, just kinda cleaning shit up. sooo I guess the thing here is - Dean’s death needs more agency. maybe Sam and the kids are directly being threatened somehow and he makes the choice to jump in and save them even if it costs his life. this is the one specific bit I can’t really nail down (HA) so if you have any ideas feel free to send ‘em along. I feel better about it if Dean at least got some significant time to himself to live.

the goodbye can stay. it was well done, and I think both Jensen and Jared did a great job. I think things like “Sam should have tried to call 911, while in the middle of Bumfucknowhere Ohio″ or “Sam should have tried to pray to Jack, who already said he’s staying out of things” take away from the power of the scene.

you can have the montage of Sam mourning. it’s a while before he calls Eileen or anyone else, since he’s so devastated. when he does have Dean’s funeral, like, everyone who’s still alive is there. Eileen, the Wayward girls, Garth, anyone I’m forgetting. fuck it, Alice! the Lebanon kids! even random strangers, to show what Dean meant! at some point Sam should give the bunker keys to Claire too.

at the end Rowena shows up. Sam is devastated to see her, saying he can’t do a deal. Rowena just says she was there to pay respects... and tells him that Dean is not one of hers. Sam just kinda lights up.

now you can do the thing where it jump-cuts to Heaven. the scene with Bobby is good. I may write a post later about how Jack and Cas redoing Heaven is like the thing that makes the finale alright to me, but definitely keep that. the change here is that Dean does go into the Roadhouse, and it’s full of like every goddamn dead character we love tbh. Charlie, Mary, Rufus, Jo, Ellen, Ash, Victor, Kevin, Pamela, etc. Those are just characters I thought of off the top of my head lol. No John Winchesters Allowed but everyone else. also no Cas yet but don’t worry he’ll be there in a bit. 

you can start the Carry On montage here but dear god don’t play that cover version.

on Earth, we see Sam and Eileen living. they have a daughter, thanks, though her name is still Dean. (I’ve realized I hate the “naming a child after a beloved dead relative” trope, but we’re clearly doing that so it’s okay.) maybe even make it so that they adopt one of the kids they saved in the barn. Eileen has like actual lines, whether she’s talking to Sam about how much he misses Dean and how it’s hard without him but he’s going to live for him, or whether she’s talking with Sam to Dean about how there are monsters and bad things in the night and sometimes mom and dad used to deal with them, but not any more. but they’ll still be careful. (the anti-possession tattoo can stay and salted windows and all that.)

Dean gets in the Impala in Heaven and you just hear “hello Dean” on the radio. it’s Cas, obviously. Dean does one of those killer smiles. they have a convo about the rebuilding of Heaven, and how everyone here, it’s Dean (and Sam) who brought them this kind of happiness. Dean’s like, Cas it was you too, of course it was you Cas. that can be it, orrrrr if the network would allow you to go farther, Dean can say, like. ugh I can’t put it into words right now but something that makes it clear he reciprocates. fuck it, have an “I love you too,” I’M mentally writing this lmao 

the rest of the montage can proceed like normal-ish I think? I actually did really like it when Sam was “driving” the Impala at the same time Dean was driving it in Heaven. just please god get a better wig. also I do not think Sam’s only pictures on the mantle should be of like, Dean and John lol.

Dean’s tending bar in Heaven with the whole group there when he suddenly is like... oh... I think I have to take care of something. everyone knows and is thrilled for him. Cas comes along. (honestly this one’s optional in my mind, I think that scene at the end was really good as is, but I want a TFW reunion, sue me.)

bridge scene plays out, only Cas is there too and there’s a lot of hugging all around. fuck it put Miracle on the bridge too he’s an icon.

theeeee end. oh and no two seconds later cut to the actors out of character but still in costumes and the crew not in masks during a respiratory pandemic, please, it was very thoughtful for the fans and the crew deserves love I get it but also but really weird lol