#AND THEY SOUND SO FUCKING GOOD

[inkskinned]

there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)

i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.

i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.

and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.

HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.

now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.

my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.

i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.

by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!

keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"

similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."

the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"

if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.

the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.

godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.

the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.

[foxstens]

hades is so good :’)

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Grief as a time machine

[texasbama]

Coco Jones 2024 BET Awards

[the-meme-monarch]

funny streamers i like have been 'playing' kingdom hearts union x and I haven't finished the vod yet but they're on some cinderella quests and i was overcome with Man I Should Watch Cinderella Again. i remember watching that movie all the time as a kid having such strong feelings about it (i am not paying for it as I watch it now)(I own the dvd)(am I watching it on the dvd? that's a secret I'll never tell) and I was having a good time before suddenly it ruined it bc I forgot and was reminded how they just made a cat evil for no reason. maybe the strong feelings were i hated it

[babacontainsmultitudes]

Not a Francis hater, not a Francis apologist, but a secret third thing (watching him be a fucked up little freak and enjoying the show 🍿)

[almoststedytimetravel]

Larry being an incredibly talented artist is the funniest gag in the Ace Attorney series. Every time he shows up, Phoenix and Edgeworth always make snide remarks about his art, but it's always really good.

Like from case one of the first game, Larry clearly had mad sculpting ability when he made the thinker clock. He's a good enough actor to play the Steel Samurai at an international display of goodwill. He was able to perfectly paint a variety of scenes he would only have seen for a few seconds across multiple games.

But he's always getting clowned on by the rest of the cast because he's such a pathetic cringefail in every other aspect of his life.

[hope-ur-ok]

It was another windy night at the eras tour

[frogsare-friends]

"war on palestine" "war on gaza" "israel palestine war" "israel palestine conflict" actually it's none of those things, it's a genocide and an ethnic cleansing, hope this helps!!

[pixelkip]

i dont think im the first but oh well.

[inkskinned]

he says i hate everyone except you and that is addictive and that is kind of romantic and beautiful because you're young and you're kind of a sarcastic asshole too and you don't like bad boys, per say, but you don't really like good ones either. and you like that you were the exception, it felt like winning.

except life is not a romance book, and he was kind of being honest. he doesn't learn to be nice to your friends. he only tolerates your family. you have to beg him to come with you to birthday parties, he complains the whole time. you want to go on a date but - people are often there, wherever you're going. he's just so angry. about everything, is the thing. in the romance book, doesn't he eventually soften? can't you teach him, through your own sense of whimsy and comfort?

at first - you know introverts often need smaller friend groups, and honestly, you're fine staying at home too. you like the small, tidy life you occupy. you're not going to punish him for his personality type.

except: he really does hate everyone but you. which means he doesn't get along with his therapist. which means he has no one to talk to except for you. which means you take care of him constantly, since he otherwise has no one. which means you sometimes have to apologize for him. which means he keeps you home from seeing your friends because he hates them. you're the single exception.

about a decade from this experience, you'll type into google: how to know if a relationship is codependent.

he wraps an arm around you. i hate everyone except you. these days, you're learning what he's actually confessing is i have very little practice being kind.

[wigglesdtuff]

I'm silly I'm silly I'm silly I'm silly

[authenticyuri]

okay but has anyone thought about this.... has anyone else considered.... has anyone noticed..... or..................

[chittychittyyangyang]

Look, with the show getting a new home and the rise of people being needlessly shitty about it, I've been very liberal with the block button. I'm just so tired after a decade of this, and even IF you're new to the show (none of these people are) there are many critiques that have been talked about to death that have been fixed, apologized for, or were never in good faith to begin with.

Yes, we know the faunus race allegory was poorly done. The writers have outright said it. It was overly ambitious for their limited experience and the time constraints of the show. No, Jaune isn't a self insert, and Miles hasn't even written his character since volume 2? Either way, for most of the runtime now. Ruby has the most screen time and speaking lines (almost like she's the leader of the titular characters). Adam was never "retconned", even in the Black trailer he didn't care about casualties, and Blake outright calls him a monster in Volume 2. No, Ironwood becoming a dictator willing to do anything necessary didn't come out of nowhere. He brought his military to a peaceful event in Volume 2, which is actively called out, and it's called into question if he even has a heart. It's also brought up of why Atlas (and more specifically Ironwood) would want robot fighters with souls. For Adam and Ironwood, your inability to read media isn't bad writing, it's just annoying.

At best case, these are people new who don't know it's been talked about to death (though given the show is over 10 years old do you think you're adding anything new to some of these topics?). Worst, it's people being shitty because they focus so much of their self on hating things and not just enjoying what they like. Either way, I'm too old and tired, and the world is bad enough without bad faith "critiques" about something I love.

[necrophiliak]

[katakosmos]

tall, thin, almost skeletal and sharp barty, with sleepy eyes and a smug smile, who walks in the corridors with slightly rounded shoulders and, when he's sitting, he stretches his legs and his feet under the table collide with the shoes of the other death eaters. barty, who laughs at the most inappropriate moments, loud and maniacal, who licks his lips, runs a long, bony finger over the surface of a piece of furniture and collects the dust. his face is more hollow than usual and his hair is disheveled, but his gaze is lively and his movements are fluid, magnetic. barty, who speaks to evan with his chin on his shoulder, exhaling his warm breath, words, laughter, directly onto his neck. barty, curled up in an armchair, with his knees pulled up to his chest, while he scrapes his tongue on the serrated part of his upper teeth, one corner of his mouth slightly lifted up, who wonders how much of his body he can fit into evan's; if, by pressing himself a little, he could ever get under his skin, if there is room for him too, if evan would ever welcome barty inside him like a second soul...