why must you cut my tongue in half
strike me down with my own blackthorn staff
make something pitiful and fork-tongued of me
pry my mouth open, agape and empty
watch me go blind as the quicksilver beads
bleed
into my eyes, heavy and sightless with vision
maim me, burn me in your misguided ambition
you, mired in fallacy and superstition
you cannot harm me, I was born in perdition, immune to you, and your definition, I ignite of my own volition
bleed for me, I demand your submission
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There is a nail hanging above your head.
You cannot tell how long it is, what force is holding it up there or whether its handle would fit on your hand. All you know is that it's bright, looming high in the air and always pointing at your face.
Through anything you do in each passing cycle, with any action you take or avoid, with any thought you have, it's a constant unwelcome companion. Hanging menacingly, ready to fall at any moment.
Most of the time, you try to ignore its presence at best as you can. Part of you is convinced that no one else can see it, that it's just the latest horrible creation from the shattered remains that are your mind.
You're good at pretending, after all. And if no one gives it any attention, it might disappear eventually, you want to believe.
(That hadn't worked before. You're the living proof of that.)
Sometimes, you wonder if this nail is meant for someone else to wield. If it is a weapon of light specifically crafted to slay you, just put there in wait for the right bug to do the job.
(Wouldn't it be the perfect revenge, to use the last spark of light against the last drop of darkness?
Except... you haven't sensed Her in a long time.)
On those cycles, you try being as quiet and nonthreatening as you're able to muster and otherwise remain sparse, often hiding in the tentative safety of the house that was given to you.
If no one sees you as a threat – or even sees you to begin with – then there is less of a chance they will notice the tool conveniently floating above you, forever ready to be used.
(You hate falling back into this old pattern, and how so easily it comes to you.
It was your natural state, once upon a time.)
And rarely, on those occasions where you're weak and the world is too bright and too colorful to leave the quiet gloom of the room you almost call yours, you almost wish it fell. Break what forces hold it there yourself, and long for the feeling of steel slamming against your head and shattering your mask to splinters, crave the sensation of light piercing your shell and burning your void until there's nothing left.
Those moments, you heavily consider exposing yourself by staying outside where everyone could see you. Maybe then you'll have the luck that someone else will finally see it, and put you out of your long drawn out misery.
But you don't have the strength or the courage to even leave the bed, and so the nail stays there, judging you silently. Taunting, mocking you for your existence.
You no longer look up.
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i like it whenever this ask blog gets referenced or mentioned in other ask blogs because like ........ how does that even work in the tadc ask blogverse ... is this like ... a tv show that you can tune in or something .......
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The Party Animal and the Goth
Duncan tried to tell her before they showed up that this would be different. She should give it a try. It’d been years since the last party she went to with him (she’d been dating Trent at the time to, something Duncan further blamed for her bad time). Maybe she’d like it now. And Duncan wouldn’t leave her alone, he swore. No awkward hanging out by herself and the dog should they have one. And if Trent was there, Duncan would punch him just for her. Blah blah. All sorts of promises.
Well.
She wasn’t into it. Like she said she wouldn’t be. Duncan fucked off somewhere else. Like she thought he would. And she saw her ex Trent floating around and she was doing everything in her power to avoid any awkward small talk that would ensue the second he saw her again. Like she feared.
Of course the party was going to be that predictable. She should have put money on it. And there wasn't even a dog.
Around midnight she’d gotten sick of the whole thing. But Duncan was off doing something (hopefully not someone) and Geoff found her. They talked. She mentioned maybe looking for DJ and leaving. But Geoff lit up like she’d just told him he won a prize and her night got a little weird.
Instead of just saying bye or helping her find DJ or literally anything else, Geoff was instantly offering to talk her back to her dorm.
So that got her where she was now, walking with Geoff away from his party.
What the fuck.
Summery: A classic 'Geoff walks Gwen home' story set in the year of 2013/2014, in which Gwen has decided to leave a party early and Geoff has decided he'll walk her home. (College AU, no camp.)
Words: 4,274
Rating: Teen (swearing)
Read Here!
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