#ANYWAY GOODNIGHT ITS PAST 4AM | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hazbbyhaz · 3 years

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sleepless || harry styles

twenty four

pairing: Harry Styles x OC

synopsis: the party cleanup

disclaimer: mentions of selfharm, mentions of scars

just remember that sometimes, the way you think about a person isn’t the way they actually are - John Green

At 3am the party had finally started to die down, people slowly funneling their way out. And by 3:30, All the guests were gone, leaving Avery, Harry, and Francis. Avery was on her fourth cup of coffee, the caffeine keeping her awake enough to not pass out on the couch. Everyone was sitting in the living room, strewn around the space. All of them winding down from the energy that the party created. It was silent. Serene. Comforting, in a way.

Harry was the first to move, starting to pick up the mess that swept the entire flat. Avery and Francis joined him soon after. They collected all the cups and plates that were scattered about, bringing all of them to the kitchen. Francis washed the dishes, Avery dried and put them away, and Harry made several trips around the apartment to collect all the trash.

Avery was lost in her own world, taking her time in drying the dishes and figuring out where they were kept. A tap on her shoulder had broken her from her trance. When she looked back, she saw Francis with a big soapy beard on his face. His jaw was completely covered in bubbles.

“How do I look, Avery?”

“Absolutely fabulous, if I do say so myself.” They were giggling like children, the sound echoing through the kitchen.

The laughter had Harry making his way to the source, and the sight in front of him had him laughing too. It was nice seeing Avery and Francis smiling and laughing. It was something that he hadn’t seen in a while, mainly from his friend. Maybe this party really was what he needed. Maybe this was a fresh start.

“Alright Old Saint Nick, let's get the kitchen cleaned up, after that we are finished till the morning.”

Harry chuckled, throwing a towel to Francis, and after he wiped his face clean, they continued. The rest of the dishes were washed and put away, the counters were wiped down, and the floors were swept. Avery had the cake she made in her hands, about to put it in the fridge, before she heard someone protest.

“Nope. You're not putting that masterpiece away until you try a piece.”

Francis hastily took it out of her hands, grabbed a paper plate, and cut a small slice out of the cake. He just about shoved it into her hands, not taking his eyes off of her until she took a bite. "It's very sugary," She said, grimacing as she swallows her first bite. "I think I need to cut down on that the next time"

"I think it’s great," Francis shrugs, getting a new fork to take a bite from her piece. "I mean, considering this is one of your first cakes, this is amazing."

"Thank you." After tasting the cake herself, Avery doubted that he was telling the truth. It was awful. "Harry, you try a bite" She holds the fork out to Harry and he doesn't even take the utensil from her, but eats it straight from the fork. The silly action instantly made her blush, All the heat rushing to her face and making it beet red. But the redness of her cheeks quickly vanishes as Harry loudly coughs, and nearly downs a whole glass of water after swallowing the small bite of cake.

"I'm sorry, Ave, but..." He takes a breath. "that is revolting. Francis, how are you just eating that?" Avery giggles, looking over at Francis, who has almost finished her piece.

"I can feel the cavities forming in my teeth..." He takes another sip off his water.

"I like it." Francis concludes with a shrug. "Anyways, Avery, are you staying here or should we take you home? I can play my charm and convince Mrs Sheffield to give us her car keys."

"It's 4am," Harry frowns.

“Trust me, she loves me!"

They keep bantering back and forth while Avery contemplates if she should stay or go. She had been with Harry for a majority of the weekend, rarely leaving his side. She didn’t want to overwhelm him. Didn’t want him to get tired of her presence or feel like she was clinging to him. "You can stay, Ave. It's no problem." Harry says, bringing her back into reality with his green eyes looking into her own.

"I don't want to bother you guys"

"You're not bothering anyone. Stay. I can walk you home after breakfast"

Her gaze moves over to Francis, who was putting the cake back into its container. She was looking for him to protest, for him to say that he didn’t want her there. But he didn’t seem bothered in the slightest, so she nods. "Alright, just til after breakfast."

Harry breaks into a smile and Francis puts the dessert in the fridge, slowly closing the door. "Great, now that this has been discussed, I am going to bed." Francis said goodnight to the two before vanishing in his bedroom. Avery noticed how Harry's eyes stayed fixed on his friends door for a moment.

"He likes you." Harry then says, turning back to her with a gleaming smile.

"I'm glad"

He walks over to her, leaning against the kitchen counter. "When do you go back to work?"

"Tomorrow."

"You're going to be tired."

"I'll be fine." She murmurs. In the dim kitchen light, Harry can see the three freckles on her nose, and the different shades of blue in her eyes. There had been numerous times where he’d thought about kissing Avery. More than he would like to admit. So many times where he wanted to sweep the loose strand of hair behind her ear, cup her cheek, and put his lips onto her own. He believed that, maybe, her pain would leave after he kissed her. He knew that it was stupid. That it was impossible. That something that mundane could ever fix the pain that she had felt.

So, out of all these times, he picked this one. He picked this time because he was tired. He picked this time because he still had some liquid courage coursing through his veins. He picked this time because she looked just… so unbearably sad. Even though he knew she had a great time that night, there was this underlying look to her. Even at her happiest, she always looked to be sad. Like she was in a great world of pain. Always.

He slowly leaned closer, his gaze fixed on hers. She didn't move away from him as their eyes met. "I don't think we should do that," Her breath is warm against his lips. "You'd regret it."

"I doubt that." His words are hushed, and if he leaned a bit closer, just the smallest bit, their lips would touch. Averys gaze switched between his eyes and his lips. She wants to be brave enough to close the gap. She does. But there is a small voice in her head telling her that it's wrong. That she will destroy everything that she has created if she moves forward with what's happening.

"You're so soft nobody knows how to take care of you".. "You know what you are? An ungrateful brat. That's all that you are, and that’s all you’ll ever be".

"You're pathetic, I can't deal with you anymore. No one can."

"I'm sorry but... I can't." She whispers and she doesn't have to tell him that's it because of her mind, her past, and everything that she continues to hide from him. He knows.

"I get it." Harry reassures her and instead of kissing her lips, he kisses her forehead.

“I’m sorry… I’m so sorry.” He leaned in again, pressing his lips to her forehead once more. This time letting them linger.

“It’s okay, Ave. It’s alright. You don't need to be sorry.”

So, instead of kissing, they watch Lost In Translation. Harry had fallen asleep shortly after, his head resting on her thigh, and Avery’s fingers gently carted through his soft, honey brown curls. Somewhen, the morning sun illuminated the living room. The early morning rays casting a golden shadow over the room. Bathing everything in what could only be described as eternal light.

Francis emerged from his bedroom soon after the sun rose, stopping for a short second to look at his friend. Harry was asleep on Avery's lap, his face cuddled into her stomach with her hand resting on his head. He looked so at peace, even youthful in his sleep. He was getting the rest that Francis knew he deserved. That he needed.

Seeing him and Avery together made Francis happy. He saw the way that they had interacted during the party. They were always together, never spending much time apart.

Francis made his way to the kitchen, getting himself a glass of water. He got a cup out of a cabinet, one that had been washed only hours ago, and filled it at the kitchen sink. not bothering with ice, it was too early for ice cold water. Once the cup was full, he turned off the tap and turned around. He jumped and nearly dropped his cup, startled to see Avery stood at the entrance of the small space.

“Jesus! You scared me.” Francis leaned against the counter, holding a hand up to his chest in an effort to slow his racing heart.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to.”

They stood there in silence for a while. Avery eventually made her way into the kitchen, sitting atop of the counter closest to the entrance. Francis was looking out the small window they had in the kitchen, and Avery watched. He didn’t seem to be actively in the room. His mind was elsewhere. This was a different kind of silence. Not like the atmosphere that they had experienced after everyone had left hours ago. This one was darker, in a way.

Somehow, Avery knew. She just knew. She knew that he was troubled. Maybe it was the worry that Harry always had in his eyes when looking at his friend. Maybe it was the dread that showed in Harry’s face whenever he called. Or maybe it was her own personal experience. But, either way, she knew. She could see the scars that littered his arms, the ones he had tried so desperately to cover, and it made her angry. Did she have a real right to be angry? No. She didn’t truly know the boy that was standing in front of her, but she knew enough. She knew enough to know that he shouldn’t feel that kind of pain. From what she had seen, he was funny, caring, and he stood by his friends. He cared for his friends. She didn’t want anyone to know half of what she had been through, what she had felt. And she knew that he had.

“Francis?”

“Yes?”

“Just… thank you.”

He looked bewildered by her words, not knowing what they were for. “For what, Avery?”

“For earlier. Eric. You saw that he was bothering me and you told him off. I never got to thank you for it.”

“Oh… it was no problem. He was being a prick. He kept on advancing towards you when you told him no, and I won't stand by to see that.” He made his way to the kitchen sink, Avery not too far from him, and started to rinse out his empty glass. Avery watched as he did so, closing her eyes shortly after to let them rest for a minute.

“Avery?”

“Yes, Francis?”

“Can you promise me something?” He looked into her eyes, a serious glint inside of them.

“I guess so… what is it?”

“This probably isn’t my place, and I apologize if I offend you in any way. But, just… please stand up for yourself. Okay? There are loads of blokes like Eric, people who will take advantage of you because you are too nice, people who will disregard your rejection of their actions. You have to stand up for yourself. I would hate to see you get hurt because of something like that.”

She was taken aback by what he was saying. She didn’t know how to respond, at least not right now. So she simply nodded her head, casting her eyes downward.

“And thank you for the cake, I really appreciate it.”

“Of course. I'm glad.”

Avery’s apartment was a wreck. Various papers and notebooks littered every surface as she tried to find a good sample she could send over to Hughes Magazine. This was a real opportunity, one that needed to be taken seriously. She has the chance to be a published writer, to have something that she had written somewhere in the world for people to see. To say that this was nerve wracking was a major understatement. Avery was sitting in the middle of her living room looking like a mad woman, frantically flipping through notebooks in hopes of finding something that she deemed good enough.

After going through every piece of writing she had, she decided to submit two short stories and a handful of poems. She chose pieces that, she hopes, shows her diversity as a writer. Avery wanted this to be something, just once. She added her CV and all the other required information before attaching the poems and stories at the end of the e-mail, sending it off to their office in London before closing her laptop, pushing every bad thought aside.

As she began to pick up the mess she had made in the process, Avery's phone lit up showing her a message from Tom.

Tom: Hey, is there any chance you could come in early tomorrow? I've found a potential new employee and I would like you to show her around a bit.

Avery: Sure. How much earlier?

Tom: Thirty minutes early will be fine, just need a second opinion on her. She would be starting work soon, if she is decent at everything.

Avery: I'll be there.

Tom: Thank you, Avery :)

"What do you think about the editing?" Harry questions Francis, showing his laptop with the edited photo on the screen. He spent the whole Sunday in front of the computer, trying to finish editing the set his boss needed for an upcoming ad. His eyes were exhausted and his head ached from the hours he spent looking at the monitor screen.

"I like it," Francis says with a shrug, continuing to eat his Ben and Jerry's out of the paper container.

"I need constructive criticism, Frany. Saying you like it is not cutting it anymore." Harry groans, putting his head back to regain composure and stretch his sore neck.

"You know I'm devoted to the numbers.'" Francis replies with a sigh. "I can't give you constructive criticism when I don't understand it."

"It's art. Most of the time you don't have to understand it."

"Why are you not doing your black and white photography? I love it and I know you do too, I'm sure there are some people who would buy it."

"Those “some people” aren't going to pay rent," Harry closes the laptop, realizing Francis really wouldn't be much help here, and layed down on the sofa, his head atop the arm rest. "I wish I could just do that."

"I’d say do it. Do what makes you happy. That's what you always tell me, anyway."

"Yes, but you're different," Harry murmurs, his eyes closed and his forearm shielding them from the sunlight. "And what would I photograph? I don't go out anymore, I barely see James or Emily or Anais anymore. And God, I have a million photographs of you already."

"First of all, you make that sound like a bad thing." Francis replies, before eating another spoon of his ice cream. "Why don't you do a series on Avery?"

"She doesn't like being photographed."

“May I remind you that that's what you do? Take photographs without people noticing, so it's not staged."

"Yes I know, but-" Before Harry can finish his sentence Francis makes his way to Harry's room only to come out a minute later with a large black and white print. Harry remembered that day as if it were yesterday. It was Anais’s birthday party. Francis wasn't well that day so Harry had to take him to the party, he didn’t trust him enough to leave him home alone. He had spent the whole evening making rounds around the house, camera in tow, capturing every guest he could.

The photo in front of him showed Francis in an armchair in Anais’s living room. There was a half empty glass of champagne in his hand and a red balloon tied to his pinky, and at the first glance it almost looked comical. This sad boy with all the balloons, presents, and dancing people around him.

That same night, Harry had gotten absolutely wasted. So, when Francis told him that he wanted to go home, he didn't hold him back. He didn't look at him, not really, not like he should have. Once he had finally made his way back to their flat, he found Francis cutting himself on the bathroom floor and immediately sobered up. They didn't talk while Harry gently patched his friend up, doing so with so much care that it made Francis cry. And they didn't talk while Harry sent Francis to bed before he cleaned the bathroom, blaming himself for everything that had happened in the process.

Despite everything that came after, this was still one of his favorite photographs he had ever taken. The black and white didn't seem dramatic, but natural. He caught Francis without a mask, just Francis. It was safe to say that his best friend despised the whole thing, he didn't like it one bit and Harry was sure that if he hadn't stopped him, Francis would have ripped the print to shreds immediately.

"I really like that print..." Harry mumbles, eyeing the photograph that feels like it was taken so long ago. When he was still so naive and inexperienced, thinking he could just do this his whole life. "But I can't do it. I have to think about earning money, this dream won't take me anywhere."

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mistymark · 4 years

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VIGILANTE/S VIII

part eight // 4.8k words // superpowered!au // series masterlist

summary; in which you consider yourself somewhat of a vigilante.

warnings; swearing, they talk about death, lots of swearing, y/n plays therapist way too much in this chapter but its fine, swearing

“Do you think we’re going to be able to pull this off?”

You roll over onto your side so you can look in the direction of Donghyuck’s bed. It’s dark, but you can still make out his figure, lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling.

“Jaehyun has been working at this forever, you know? But what if we can’t pull it off?”

You clear your throat. You’re exhausted – you feel more tired now than you did after a day of training. “It’s going to work,” you say, softly, though it sounds less like you’re trying to convince him and more like you’re trying to convince yourself. You have to believe it will work.

Donghyuck turns his head to you, and you don’t need the light to see how nervous he is.

“I thought we didn’t worry about ‘what if’s,” you whisper, hoping the slight teasing would ease his nerves a little. It was something he’d said to you on one of your first days here.

It seems to work. He lets out a quiet laugh, “I am a ‘what if’. What if I don’t die? What if I never die?” It didn’t work. His tone is bitter, his voice louder. Then, you hear the panic in his voice, “What if I’m forced to live forever and watch everyone I care about die before me?”

There’s silence. You can hear him breathing in deep breaths, trying to calm himself down.

Sitting up, you settle on the edge of your bed to face him, “Donghyuck.” He looks up at you, “We’re not going to die.”

“Someday you will.”

You ignore his comment. “Jaehyun wouldn’t let us go through with this plan if he knew we were going to die.” He doesn’t answer. “This is what we’ve been training for,” you say, your voice as soft as you can manage. You’ve watched the team become stronger, become closer, become a family. You doubt there’s anything that could stop you now.

He’s staring at the ceiling again. “You can’t die. None of you can.” His voice is barely a whisper. It’s like he’s breathing the words. The way he pauses between the sentences gives the impression that he’s thinking about you specifically.

“Like you said: I’m going to die sometime, Hyuck,” you smile, and move to his bed, perching on the side. “Dying for you or the team would be the best way to go, I think.”

His eyes snap to yours and he quickly moves to sit up, his hand reaching across the gap between your beds and grabbing your arm, “Promise me that won’t happen. Promise me you won’t die for me.” You can’t see in the darkness of the room, but you’re almost sure he’s holding back tears.

You freeze for a moment, unsure what to do or say. So you whisper, “What is this about?”

Something about what you’ve said makes him remove his hand from your arm, “Sorry. Nothing.” His voice has returned to normal now, and he turns away from you, pulling his blanket up over his shoulder. “Goodnight.”

Maybe you were wrong, maybe you weren’t as close as you’d thought.

Confused by what just happened, you stay for a second, before moving back to your own bed, “Okay.” You want to sleep. You really do. “Goodnight, Donghyuck.” But you don’t.

It must be 4am. It has to have been hours. And you’re still awake.

Arrive with Jaemin. Mingle until the toasts are being made. Make your way to the garage. Leave. Find Jaehyun. Go home. Arrive with Jaemin. Mingle until the-

You can only think about the plan. Each detail was meticulously mapped out. Where you would be standing, what you would be doing, each possible path to the garage engrained in your brain.

West corridor, past the bathrooms. Take a right. Otherwise, go left. Find the central hallway. Go behind the main staircase. If there’s security there, go through the old dining room. From there-

You can’t take it anymore. You gently slide out of your bed, trying not to disturb Donghyuck, who finally fell asleep a couple hours ago. He doesn’t stir, but you still move swiftly across the hard floors, listening for a change in his breathing pattern.

The door squeaks most of the time, but you know how much you can open it without creating noise, so you slip out of the room without waking him.

The warehouse is quiet, but you can see light coming from Mark and Chenle’s room, a flickering orange that makes you think Chenle’s playing with fire. You can hear Mark’s soft snoring even through the door, and wonder if that’s why Chenle’s awake. From what you knew, he was a light sleeper already.

Jeno and Jaemin’s room is dark from what you can see, and you can hear someone snoring from inside. The others are dark, too, even Johnny’s, though you’re forced to wonder whether it’s dark because he’s sleeping or dark because he’s just not there.

Doyoung’s light is on, a warm yellow colour streaming out from under the door and into the hallway, and despite no lights being turned on in his room, there’s white light coming from Renjun’s room, probably from a computer screen. There was always light in Renjun’s room, and you knew he often slept without turning off the screens that took up most of his room. When you’d first noticed them – before you even met him – you’d wondered if he was afraid of the dark.

You’re thankful for the lights, able to make your way down the hallway without knocking into something, but you’re surprised to find there is no light coming from Jaehyun’s office when you make it to the main body of the warehouse.

You know he has to sleep sometime but your first thought is that he’s out.

“What are you doing?” You jump at the sound of the voice, and find yourself whirring around to find the source. Doyoung makes his way toward you, “I could hear you thinking.” He puts his hands up in defence when you open your mouth to protest, “I know, I promised not to invade, but I wasn’t prying. You were just thinking really loudly.”

“Why are you even awake?” You don’t mean to sound so exasperated, and he raises an eyebrow at you.

“Same reason you are,” he shoves his hands into the pockets of his pyjama pants, which you can see are made from bright blue flannel. It was odd, to see him wearing something typically childish. “Thinking about the ball.”

“Donghyuck was freaking out about it before… I think it rubbed off on me.”

A grim look passes over his face, “About dying, right?”

“About the team dying, yeah.” You frown, “How do you know that?” Surely, he hasn’t been listening the whole night.

“I wasn’t listening. I just know Donghyuck – it’s the only thing that does freak him out.” He pauses, then shrugs, “Other than lizards.” He frowns, “And birds, actually.” He shakes his head as if to force himself to stop thinking about Donghyuck’s phobias.

You smile, “I was going to make some tea. Do you-?”

“No, thank you. I just came to see if you were alright.” It’s only then that you can see just how tired he looks. Your eyes have adjusted to the lack of light in the room, and even in the dark you can see the deep-set circles under his eyes.

Nodding, you rock back and forth on the balls of your feet, “Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.”

He nods and turns to head back to his room, which you can see is spilling light into the hallway through the open door. Bruce is standing at attention in the doorway, staring into the empty room with unwavering focus. You let your gaze drift back to Doyoung, who is looking at you again with a furrowed brow, though your mind is still on the dog for some reason.

He opens his mouth to say something but doesn’t, and turns around, his figure retreating into the brightly lit hallway.

The door closes softly, and you watch as the light under the door disappears, the hallway now dark again. You’re debating whether it was still worth getting some tea before going back to your room, but you make your way to the kitchen, anyway. Even if you didn’t make tea, you could always steal one of Jaemin’s snacks.

There’s a pot of tea already on the counter, though you assume it’s old because it’s cold now. It’s the early hours of the morning, and you brain is repeating, I’m tired, I’m lazy, this will do over and over again.

You reach for a mug, despite the liquid no longer requiring its insulating properties, and pour the cold tea into it. You notice Jaehyun’s ‘World’s Greatest Boss’ mug is missing from the shelf, and you’re sure if you looked into his office, you’d see it on his desk.

Taking a sip, you almost spit it out from how bitter it is, how terrible the tea is. You’ve never known tea to taste like that. Maybe because it was cold. You tip the drink down the sink and leave your mug in the sink. Someone probably forgot to empty the pot before they went to bed, you assume.

Grabbing the pot, you pour the foul liquid – because there was no way that was fresh tea – down the sink. With a bad taste in your mouth, you pull the fridge door open and scan the shelves for anything good. There’s a fruit yoghurt cup left – Mark’s favourite flavour – and you almost feel bad about taking the last one, until you remember they’re Jaemin’s.

Peeling the lid off, you settle on the counter, digging through the clean cutlery for a spoon.

“You’re awake.”

You jump a little at the sound. “God, doesn’t anyone here sleep?” You groan and look in the direction of the voice, recognising Jaehyun’s suit-clad figure standing by the dinner table. You’re annoyed that he managed to frighten you, but he only smiles at you.

“Too much to do,” his voice is deeper than normal, and you wonder if he’s tired.

Spooning another mouthful of yoghurt into your mouth, you squint at him, “This is going to work, isn’t it?” He nods, but there’s uncertainty in the way he holds himself. His eyes don’t meet yours. “Jaehyun.”

He looks at you, and the determination in his eyes surprises you, “If everything goes to plan, then it’ll definitely work.” He sighs, and his gaze falls, “I could see it. I could see it working perfectly.”

“But?” You prompt.

“But…” he trails off. Then his eyes meet yours, and he subconsciously adjusts his stance. “I always feel terrible when I endanger them.”

You know that’s not what worries him, but you don’t push it. Clearly, everyone around here has their secrets, and you’re not about to be the one to pry. You let your hand fall to his forearm, and his eyes widen at the contact, though he does his best to appear indifferent, “You’re a good leader, Jaehyun. And I trust you. They trust you.”

He sucks in a breath, but he doesn’t say anything. He’s not sad or emotional in any way, but you can’t look away from his face. He needs to see your sincerity, even if he thinks he doesn’t need it.

But he doesn’t look away from you, either.

Until he does. “Tea,” he says, turning to look away from you. He clears his throat, and his voice changes, though you can’t exactly describe how. “Is there any tea left?”

“Uh, no,” your voice sounds small, so unlike your natural voice. It makes him look back at you for a moment, before going back to trying to find the teapot. “It was cold – and disgusting – so I poured it out. I was just about to make a fresh pot.”

“You poured out the tea?”

You pause. “Yeah. I just said-”

He sighs, and you can almost see him physically deflate, “It’s supposed to taste terrible. It’s not normal tea. An elixir, if anything, to help with-” He stops. “Doesn’t matter.”

Suddenly, you feel awful. “I’m sorry.” And for the first time since you’ve arrived here, you truly mean it.

“It’s alright. You should get some rest.” No ‘goodnight’, no ‘goodbye’, just ‘you should get some rest’ and the same distracted look on his face you usually see at this hour.

“Careful, there. I might actually think you care about me,” you say lightly, a snort accompanying your words. Gracefully, you manage to slide off the counter and toss your empty yoghurt cup into the bin at the kitchen’s entrance, dodging him as you pass him.

He doesn’t acknowledge your comment, but he does turn around to see you walking toward the hallway. He doesn’t raise his voice, instead lowering it, “Goodnight, Y/n.”

You turn and give him a small nod, your words coming out short, “Night. Jaehyun.”

“Is anyone else bored?” Donghyuck asks for the fifteenth time today, and you roll your eyes, ignoring him. You’re all crowded into one of the few casual living spaces in the warehouse, a room with a bunch of cool leather couches and bookshelves. You’d never been down here, never even knew the basement had a living room, but from the look of it, you decided it was rarely used.

It was much unlike Jaehyun’s sitting room, which you’d decided was your favourite room in the whole place. It had so much warmth in it, especially compared to the sitting room you were in now. The couches here were red and white, unmatching, but tied together nicely with the cool white walls and a singular red wall painting that you felt you’d seen before. The plush carpet beneath your feet was the only thing that added warmth to the room, but it was split along the diagonal by an invisible line, separating a bleached white section and a firetruck red section. With each half of the carpet situated under the couch of the opposite colour, you wondered if Jaehyun had paid someone to fit out the room or he’d done it himself. Quite the interior designer.

You felt a little bad for brushing Donghyuck and his boredom off, until you noticed the responses from the other boys around you. You’re sitting on the floor in front of the red couch, the plush white carpet beneath you far more inviting than the new leather. Jaemin is sitting on the flat arm rest behind you, and Jeno’s in a small white armchair nearby, the two talking animatedly. Donghyuck is lounging on the white couch, despite Renjun claiming he’d make it dirty – which immediately prompted Donghyuck’s response of ‘You’d like that, wouldn’t you?’ followed by a terrible wink. Renjun sits on the floor beside you, earphones in, watching something on his phone, and Chenle on the couch at the opposite end, glaring at Donghyuck. You’re beginning to wonder if his face just naturally looks pissed off.

Donghyuck shrieks as the corner of his t-shirt alights and frantically tries to put it out, patting at his shirt. Each time his hand comes down on the flame, it moves to a different location. Chenle raises an eyebrow, “Are you bored now?”

Donghyuck gives him a level look, “You’re dead.”

This seems to bring Chenle a lot of joy, “I thought that was your thing.” You ignore them as soon as Donghyuck lunges at the younger boy, instead tuning into Jeno and Jaemin’s conversation.

“- give him? What can we offer that he doesn’t already have?” Jaemin is saying. Then he adds, “Prick.”

You look up and pat his leg to get his attention, “Who are you talking about?”

He looks down at you, and the look of annoyance on his face eases a little as he explains. “The guy Jaehyun’s meeting up with today,” he says, but halfway through the sentence, his attention is already back on Jeno. You’ve never seen him look so annoyed – not at Chenle, not during a team meeting, never. You’re about to ask what this guy had done to earn such a response, but before you can, Jeno gestures to the door and they both stand up to leave.

Renjun tugs out his earphones when he watches them leave, “Where’d they head off to?”

“I don’t know,” you frown, but then you catch sight of his phone. “What are you watching?”

Renjun’s face immediately lights up as he excitedly fills you in on the Super fight semifinals. “There’s a newcomer this year – some young kid, eighteen maybe? – doesn’t even belong to a club, yet.” You cringe when he says ‘club’, knowing full well that these sport ‘clubs’ were just fronts for small gangs. “He just walked in and put his name on the roster! Can you believe that?”

You try to match his excitement, try to look impressed, “Damn, what does he do?”

“He can summon lightning. And manipulate it.” Renjun suddenly looks so young – so innocent and eager. You knew he’d never been on assignment, stayed in the warehouse almost always and had probably never even step foot in a place like The Den. He’d seen so much yet so little while working here.

Whilst Renjun grins happily at the screen, offering you an earbud so you could watch, too, you feel a shiver run down your back. Lightning. Now there’s a man you remember. He’d seemed so much older when you’d first met him, despite being drunk off his ass. Eighteen. And it wouldn’t be long before he was recruited, enticed by the sheer amounts of money the ‘clubs’ could offer him.

“He’s about to come out, hold on… There!” Renjun points at a figure emerging from a crowd, dressed in the standard durable yet decorated combo all the fighters wore. His was white, with streaks of jagged purple lines running down the sides of his top to mimic the lightning.

Immediately, you recognise his face, but you keep your expression neutral, interested. Definitely the guy from The Den. A sudden thought crosses your mind, and you fight the urge to throw up. He’d probably just won a fight when we met. Probably his first one, too.

This guy didn’t help your preconceived belief that all fighters were assholes.

You watched as the camera panned to his opponent, a small woman in her mid twenties, you’d say. She was tiny, made apparent when she moved to stand beside the boy, their hands interlocking, raising and lowering in an extravagant bow. As if this was all a show. He had to have been at least six feet tall, and she stood with her head level to his lower chest.

But you knew better than to underestimate her, because despite her size – and her ridiculously long fake nails – she had made it this far. People often made the same mistake with you.

People like her opponent, who merely smiled at her smugly as soon as they stepped away from each other in the ring. This may be a fight you actually wanted to watch.

“Watch,” Renjun whispers to you, as the protective glass walls surrounding the ring begin to rise. There’s a countdown, and you watch the two fighters ready themselves. It appears they both have the same tactic – appear casual and indifferent to unnerve the other. You watch as the woman focuses on her nails, uninterested, and the boy stands with a lop-sided smirk on his face, one hand already raised, ready to summon coils of lightning as soon as the countdown reaches zero.

In the audience, people are chanting, excitedly waiting for the fight to begin.

“What’s her ability?” You ask. But he doesn’t have time to answer, because the speaker lets out an unnerving beep, and both fighters begin to move. As soon as the sound rings out, where there was once a woman, there is now a robot – or what looks to be a robot. But then it moves. It moves in a way that no robot, no matter how dynamic, would be able to move. “She can make herself metal?”

Renjun laughs at your bewilderment, “You’ve never heard of Titan?”

“She calls herself Titan?”

“Sure,” he shrugs. “They all have fighter names. He’s Thunder. Uh, Impact was on before. She’s pretty epic. She fought Migraine.” He realises you have no clue who he’s talking about. “Impact has these really strong forcefield things. Migraine… well, he’s pretty self-explanatory.”

“You know what?” Donghyuck pipes up from the couch. You notice Chenle has disappeared, having previously been too absorbed in the fight to notice him leave. Donghyuck is laying with his head dangling off the couch and his legs over the couch’s back. Renjun doesn’t respond. Dismissing the fact that no one responded to his question, Donghyuck continues, “We should have fight names.” He swings his legs down so he can sit up, “I can’t believe we’ve never thought of that.”

“Oh, yeah? What would you be called?” You ask.

“I don’t know…” he thinks about it for a second before bellowing in deep voice, “ETERNAL!”

“Eternal pain in my ass,” Renjun mumbles to you, a smile crossing his face when you laugh. The fight is already over when you look back down at the phone. The lightning boy, unconscious, lays on the floor, whereas the woman, now back in her normal body, holds her hands over her head triumphantly. You can hear the loud eruptions of applause even after Renjun turns down the volume.

“Huh?” Donghyuck looks confusedly between the two of you.

“Renjun could be Spiritwalker,” you say, raising an eyebrow at him. He makes a disgusted expression, but when Donghyuck continues talking, you can tell he’s thinking about it.

“You could be… Mime?”

“Or,” a new voice offers from behind you. “Y/n could be Mine.” He says it in a teasing way – he knows it’ll make you squirm in disgust.

You instantly roll your eyes at Jaemin as soon as he meets your eyes, lowering into the small armchair Jeno was previously sitting in. He lets out a loud laugh. “That was a cheap shot,” you drawl.

And he shrugs, but he can’t help the smile that’s crossed his face at your judgment of his terrible flirting. “What can I say? I’m a dedicated guy. I take every opportunity to-,” but he’s cut off.

“Oh! I know!” You exclaim to Donghyuck in a fake perky voice, clapping your hands together excitedly, “Jaemin can be Douchebag!” You turn to him and the faux smile you’d been donning a second earlier drops from your face as you look at Jaemin pointedly.

One side of his mouth lifts into a half-smile and lets out a fake laugh, glaring at you in an exaggerated manner that says he’s not the least bit bothered by your joke.

“There are too many good names for someone with superspeed. It’s unfair,” Donghyuck notes.

“Like?” Jaemin looks to him, intrigued.

“Dick, trashbag, assface, asshole. If we’re getting creative, cockalorum, ninnyhammer-” You begin counting off the insults on your fingers. Renjun lets out a loud laugh and falls to his side on the floor, and Donghyuck erupts into laughter after him.

Jaemin rolls his eyes but his smile is genuine, laughing along with the others.

“What even is a cockalorum?” Donghyuck asks, though this only makes Renjun laugh again, and he never gets an answer.

That night, you manage to sleep soundly for the first time in a few days, though you don’t know how you’re so exhausted. Dinner had been a riot – Doyoung suggested that Donghyuck cook if he was so bored, and Jaemin ended up getting roped into helping him. You’d wondered if Doyoung’s ‘suggestion’ had been laced with any of his power, urging them slightly to agree.

Jaemin had prepared everything faster than it should’ve been possible, then got annoyed with how slow the actual cooking part was. He ended up lying across the kitchen counter in duress, reducing Donghyuck’s cooking space to a tiny bench beside the stove. Everyone ate together and pretended it was the worst thing they’d ever tasted, making Donghyuck pout throughout most of dinner. But everyone made sure to thank him when they had finished, which you’d thought was very sweet. It had tasted pretty good, though, you had to admit.

In the morning, everyone’s mood seems to have shifted. You couldn’t pin it at first, especially since the morning started the same way it usually does; with you having to wake up a complaining Donghyuck.

It was at breakfast that you’d noticed something was up. Jaemin was wearing an usually sour expression on his face, and even Chenle didn’t comment on it. There was none of the expected fire at the table. Renjun, who normally didn’t wake up until everyone had already eaten, was already sitting at the table when you arrived. Jeno wasn’t there, and neither was Johnny, and you wondered where they’d gone. Jaehyun wasn’t in his office, and emerged from the basement stairs as you sat down, stealing a piece of toast from the table with a half-hearted smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

“What is-?” You turn to Mark, and notice that even he seems glum. “What’s going on?”

“Hmm?” Jaemin responds, though his attention is still on his uneaten breakfast. He’s holding a piece of toast in his hand, and it looks as though he’s been nibbling on one corner for the past fifteen minutes.

“Everyone’s so…” you shrug, “gloomy.” Except for Chenle, you want to add. He’s exactly the same. But you don’t. Because you know it’s not true.

“Yeah, well,” Renjun snorts. “That happens when you’re about to risk your life tomorrow.”

Jaemin casts him a sidelong glance and then stands, the sheer speed of his movement causing his chair to topple over loudly. He doesn’t bother to pick it up, or maybe he doesn’t notice what he’s done, but he walks back down the hallway. You hear a door slam and there’s a pause as everyone stops eating for a second, all glancing between each other. Renjun gulps, looking guilty.

Chenle’s the first to continue eating, and everyone follows. You grab a piece of fruit from a plate and stand, “Should I-?”

“God, yes,” Donghyuck responds, immediately. “I don’t want to deal with that.” There’s a few mumbles of agreement and you nod, taking a bite of the fruit as you walk down the hall.

You bump into Doyoung as he’s emerging from the bathroom, his hair wet. The dark circles beneath his eyes haven’t disappeared yet, and you can’t help yourself from noticing how different he looks with the small blemishes. His normally perfect skin looks harrowed and thin now, the dark circles a deep contrast to his light skin.

“Geez, I just haven’t been sleeping well,” he tries to laugh, but it sounds empty.

Your eyebrows raise as you realise he can tell what you’re thinking, “Sorry. I’m just worried about you.”

This makes him smile, and this time its sincere. “Don’t be. Once this is all over,” he gestures around him, “I’ll be fine.”

You nod. But then you remember why you came down here in the first place, “Is Jaemin okay?”

Doyoung stops for a moment, sucking in a breath, “No.” You don’t know why you expected to hear something different. You’d hoped to hear something different. “Wait a second.” You stop from where you’d been reaching for the handle that led to his room. There’s a thump against the door and the sound of something smashing on the floor. “Now, go.”

You nod to him in appreciation before twisting the handle, poking your head in the room. “Jaemin?”

He’s sitting on the floor by Jeno’s bed, his head on his knees. He looks up when you walk in, but his head hangs again. You can’t tell whether he’s angry or sad or a combination of both, but you could see the pained expression on his face as soon as you walked inside. “What h-?” You stop and sit down beside him. “Are you okay?”

He doesn’t answer. You notice him fidgeting, as if he’s got too much energy he needs to get rid of, “Jaemin.”

There’s silence, until, “Can you go?” You recoil from him like you’ve just been burned, and you suddenly hate yourself for it. “Please.” You nod, then mumble a ‘okay’ as you stand up. The door closes noiselessly as you leave, and you let out a breath. Renjun is the one that runs up to you, the one that explains what’s going on. His voice sounds slightly strangled, but he rushes the words out in a long string in a way that tells you he had just been given this information, “Jaehyun’s contact won’t trade his services for money. He wants Jeno. He has Jeno.”

And suddenly you have the urge to throw something at a door, too.

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frogfamiliar · 7 years

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⭐️

#//////////////////////////#death //#this seems way too heavy to post about but #my granddad died today #he was at home with us and it was peaceful #he hasn't been conscious since 4am because morphine so it wasn't stressful it just. happened #the last thing he said to me was 'goodnight [birth name]'#its the first time he's gotten my name right in years #idk why but i didn't think i'd be this outwardly upset until it happened #and it's just kinda been coming back in waves #its been on/off crying the past 24 hours tbh #my uncle and my aunt and her kids are staying with us so the house is p full atm but #once they leave it's gonna feel real empty with just the four of us #anyway sorry its just real hard waiting for the melatonin to kick in #not putting my text tag on this cuz i dont wanna find it again

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raineinprogress · 6 years

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Day 80/100 - 24/08/18

Its done. I survived the week. I finished my mid-term (I don’t think I did as well as I wanted to), handed in my coding assignment, and handed in my essay. The essay was due at 11:59pm. It is now 4am. After handing in the paper, I just went straight to eating and binge-watching anime as a reward :D .

I now have two weeks of break but I still have a bunch of notes to catch up on as well as a pile of assignments to do. I also have to study for a test again since I have one for my programming class immediately after the break. But for now, at least during the weekend, I want to relax, play games, maybe read a book and paint my nails. I also need to clean my room. I really didn’t clean during the past two weeks...

I found a new place to study (see photo above). It was in the commerce building of my university. I had to attend an interview workshop there (which is a requirement for one of my papers) and I just stayed there to work on my essay. It was really peaceful and I got quite a bit of work done there so I might go back there again.

Anyway, goodnight people!! Remember to drink lots of water! Be safe!

#raineinprogress #100 days of productivity #studyblr #software engineering studyblr #study #university #studyspo #unilife #college

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spoopycoda · 4 years

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So this is just me screaming into an empty sky, but I need to just vent right now because holy fuck do I live with an awful roomie.

So to start, shes not doing well mentally or financially, so I've been helping where I can, usually meaning I buy her groceries almost every week and I buy occasional gifts to cheer her up. It's now turned into me basically being a second piggy bank for her, and I know I can say no, but the nerve of her seeming to expect me to say yes all the time is fucking infuriating.

Also I cant talk about healthy eating, weight loss, obesity, or CICO around her because it's basically hate speech apparently, even though I just wanted to share the progress I've been making that's been really hard for me to make. I cant even call smokers addicts cause apparently its rude and disrespectful! 🙄

I'm also expected to basically do most of the chores around here cause shes got back problems from past accidents, so even if I've been working 10+ hours days (plus commute) I have to clean the house myself, clean the outside, and take out the compost recycling and garbage as well.

Shes been on stress leave for like a month now and my god is my sympathy wearing thin. She sits at home 90% of the time either sleeping or playing games (on my tv that I let her use mind you) and seems to not understand just how exhausted I am from working all the time, like I'm sorry I dont have time for much after work I've been up since 4am and i got home at 5pm, forgive me.

And now the latest bullshit, we got our shower re-caulked yesterday at 11am, landlord said itd be fine to use in 12 hours, I waited until 7pm today to use it cause I'm dealing with monthly lady problems and like hell I'm gonna stew in my own stank until tomorrow night. And when I got out of the bathroom my roomie asked if I'd showered so I said yes, and she said "ok I dont want to talk to you anymore, go to bed". Like ??? I feel like I'm living with a bitchy mother again man.

Nothing around here is cheap for rent and honestly I like her cats too much to move, but my fucking gawd do I hate users like this. I feel trapped and hopeless here, I lost my dad to cancer last year so I'm limited on support, and it's taking ann my self restraint to not scream at her. I'm so close to a mental breakdown but it seems like my issues don't matter to her, all I feel from her is disappointment and disgust and like I'm somehow the problem here.

Honestly if it weren't for my dad I'd consider self harm, hes the only thing keeping me from going back to that dark place. (That and my dog, who's curled next to me right now)

I cant even sleep right now cause I'm so mad, she also just cooked the one thing that wakes me up at night so its gonna be a while anyways. She told me when I moved in that she was difficult to live with, I didnt think itd be this bad. I'm trying to rebuild myself after losing my father and it just feels like shes tearing down any progress I make, shit hurts man. I guess misery does love its company.

If anyone actually wasted their time to read this, thanks I suppose, I dont mind nor care if you didnt though, I'm used to being ignored and I've been thrown so many pity parties over the course of my life I'm sick of them. Goodnight <33

#personal #long post #vent #feel free to ignore

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perksofhs · 7 years

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“Surprise baby”

He’d been gone for 3 months. Although you had Skyped almost every night and on the occasional non-Skype night you talked for at least an hour just babbling about your seperate days and if the time zones allowed you’d fall asleep together, you in London, him wherever the next tour date was. He wasn’t meant to be back for another 5 weeks and the thought of waiting another 5 weeks to see him was becoming increasingly unbearable. You hadn’t felt his skin on yours or your lips on his for 3 months and you couldn’t wait any longer.

You’d already talked to boss and arranged for the week off, choosing to cash in some annual leave. It’s a slow time of year for your work anyway so its not a massive deal if you disappear for a week and, with work sorted, unbeknownst to Harry you had a ticket booked to meet him before the LA show the following Sunday.

Come Friday afternoon you were hurrying to finish up the last few things, trying to rush out of work as soon as the clock hit 5 pm. You’d been waiting impatiently for the day to be over, nervous energy leading to you fidgeting and finding any excuse to check the clock. Time was moving insufferably slow, the clock reading 4:45 for what seemed like an eternity. Your boss caught you staring at the time for the 50th time and walked over “Love you’ve been staring at that bloody thing all day!” she chuckled, knowing exactly why because you hadn’t been able to shut up about it during lunch. “I know I know i’m sorry i’m just so excited! I miss him.” you were slightly embarrassed by how much you’d been obsessing over seeing him but you couldn’t help it. You were inseparable whenever he wasn’t on tour which only made being apart so much harder. He was your other half and you were his. Your boss smiled, she knew how much the two of you adored each other, being a witness to the sickeningly cute relationship you had at many a work party. “Oh for gods sake just go! What difference is 15 minutes going to make anyway?” exclaimed before walking back to her office with a laugh. You smiled, gathering up your things at a record pace, your laptop being shoved half heartedly into your handbag before making sure you had all the essentials before grabbing your keys and leaving the office.

You stepped into your quaint but beautiful flat, your suitcase still on the floor open and half filled with what you had managed to pack last night before passing out in your bed somewhere around 1am. You’d already organised a ride to airport that would be arriving in about an hour and a half to get you to Heathrow for the 10:45pm non-stop to LAX. You decided the best thing to start with was a long hot shower to freshen up before the 11 and a half hour flight. You used the pink grapefruit shampoo and conditioner that you knew was his favourite. You’d find him lingering in a hug just that little bit longer when you used it, taking in the sweet scent. You took the opportunity to shave and lather yourself in the richest body wash you had wanting your skin to be as touchable as possible.

Once you were dressed you ran around gathering the last few things you needed. “Toothbrush, toothpaste, face wipes for the plane, moisturiser, , oh perfume..” you listed off all the things you knew you usually forgot, internally thanking yourself for remembering the perfume, Elizabeth and James Nirvana, it was your favourite and his too. You threw in a few pairs of shoes, a bathing suit and a few extra pairs of underwear and socks knowing following the ‘you can never have enough’ logic as always, before zipping up the suitcase and placing it by the front door. The car would be arriving in 15 minutes and you were more than ready. You were dressed in your comfiest clothes, grey sweats, an oversized jumper with a plain white tee underneath, layers were always the best option for a long haul flight, all that was left to do now was get to LA.

The car ride to the airport although pretty fast felt like an eternity. It didn’t take long for you to check in and get settled in the lounge to wait out the hour before boarding. You’d been texting Harry all day, trying your best to make sure no suspicions were raised on his end.

‘What are you doing babe? Get home from work ok? x’

‘Yep all good, I had a nice long shower and i’m just relaxing in bed watching old Friends reruns, you know the usual Friday night! How’s everything over there? Made it to LA yet? xx’

‘Just made it to the flat. God I wish you were here :( x’

‘I know baby, only 5 more weeks and you’ll be home with me and we can watch reruns of Friends together every night xxxx’

‘I have time to Skype if you want to? xx’

Your heart stopped, you hadn’t planned for this.

‘I don’t think i’m up for it tonight H, today was so busy and i’m already starting to fall asleep, I won’t be very good company. Tomorrow before the show? xxx’

‘Ok beautiful, get some sleep and i’ll talk to you in the morning, I love you xx’

‘Goodnight mister, I love you xxxxx’

You breathed a sigh of relief before locking your phone and pulling out your laptop. You watched a few more episodes of Friends before your flight was called. 11 hours and 35 minutes until you were going to be in the city, finally.

After a few minor delays before take off and a particularly turbulent patch somewhere over the Atlantic you had finally landed in LA. Thankfully you’d been able to sleep for a majority of the flight, although you knew either way you’d be absolutely buzzing to get off that plane and to Harry. You turned your phone back off once you’d made your way towards baggage claim. A good morning text from Harry was thankfully the only message from him. A quick “Good morning baby xx” was all you had to say before shoving your phone into your pocket and grabbing your suitcase. Within minutes you were out of the airport doors and into the nearest taxi. You gave the driver the address and you were on your way.

About 5 minutes from Harrys flat you pulled your phone out and called him. “Well hello there sleeping beauty, you must of been tired, you’ve been asleep for an eternity” he answered, obviously a little confused as to why you were ‘sleeping’ for so long. You giggled "I was very tired i guess, why are you awake anyway? Isn’t it like 4am there?” “I went to bed pretty early and I guess i’m still a bit jet lagged from all of the time zone crossing i’ve done over the past few weeks, but it’s ok, it means I get to talk to you. I still miss you” you could tell he was still sleepy, the raspiness of his morning voice was unmistakable. “I know baby, I miss you too, so much” you responded just as the car pulled up to the curb out the front of his building. “I’m sorry baby but I have to go, the doorbell just rang! I love you!” you rushed, not wanting to waste any more time in the car than you had to. “Oh.. ok, I love you” he was obviously disappointed at the short length of the call and it broke your heart, but you knew that in 2 minutes it would all be ok.

There was a click at the other end of the phone before you shoved the phone back into your pocket grabbing your bag and suitcase and walking into the building. You had your own key from the last time you were both in LA together so getting in was no issue. The lift doors opened out onto the 28th floor allowing you to exit and walk to his door.

You took a deep breath before gently knocking on the door. You could hear shuffling somewhere in the apartment “Hang on a minute” his voice made your heart race. Finally you could hear him fumbling with the locks on the opposite side of the door before it swung up. His sleepy eyes widened as he took in the sight of you in front of him. “Surprise baby” you smiled, dropping your bags as he wrapped his arms around your waist spinning you around before placing you back down and placing his lips on yours in a needy kiss. The kiss was long, lingering, passionate. 3 months worth of missing you finally rectified by this kiss. Your arms were snaked around his neck, your fingers tugging gently at the soft curls at the nape of his neck. He slowly pulled back to look you in the eyes “I can’t believe it, you’re here” he was close to tears, radiating happiness “I missed you so much. So so much.” You smiled, sliding your hands to his jaw line, “I missed you too mister” you placed another kiss on his flushed pink lips. “I love you so much baby” he brought you back into another tight hug, the both of you making the most of each others presence. “I love you too mister, so much.”

Hi lovelies! I hope you enjoyed this one! I thought I’d jump back to tour dating life! Let me know what you want me to write next! My inbox is always open for suggestions!

E xxxx

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erikredwood-21 · 7 years

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Chapter 6: It has to lead somewhere… right? Part 1

Erik walked out the Biology building looking at the small piece of paper. He knew where the fountain was but, why there?

The wind was blowing and the temperature was at about 5-7°Celcius, Erik kept walking until he could see the food court, he thought on calling Helena but he waited until reaching Professor Jeniffer. Some people were still shopping or hanging out, so the place was a little bit crowded, but Erik was able to spot Professor Jeniffer near the fountain.

‘Professor, you wanted to see me?’ asked Erik as soon as he was close enough.

‘Yes, wow, you are really good deciphering codes. Anyway, I got some information for you, shall we?’

Erik and the professor walked a little bit around the court, the students were enjoying their night, completely unaware of what was around them.

‘You know, I got interested in that Security Clearance you asked about a month ago’ said the professor in her always calm voice.

Erik felt a small knot in his stomach, he thought the professor was going to scold him again.

‘But I figured… why can’t we, the professors, have access to those works, so I went to the S.E.A.L.P. offices and I found something really interesting.’

The S.E.A.L.P. offices? Erik had heard about them, but he wasn’t sure about what they did over there. Was his brother working in there?

‘We can have access to those files by a written permit from the Principal or the Council, but since I was already there I did a quick research, I wasn’t sure about what you were looking for but from the way you asked me that day, it was something having to do with you. I searched for your name but nothing but a single file came out by the name of “Alexander Redwood”, I assume he was your brother since you are the only two Redwoods I know.’ said professor Jeniffer, she kept walking out the food court and since Erik was following her he tagged along.

‘Yes professor, he’s my brother, he was in the Academy three years ago… the thing is, he graduated, you knew him?’ asked Erik trying to not sound too desperate.

‘No, I was in the S.E.A.L.P.’s teaching program at the time, but I heard his name before, Dr. Martin mentioned him quite a lot.’ said professor Jeniffer while she sat down near the fountain in front of the Biology wing.

‘He knew my brother?’

‘Yes, I remember his name, Dr. Martin was a Neuroscientist, one of the best actually, and he always talked about Alexander, he thought of him as his own “legacy”.’

‘So he was my brother’s mentor?’ asked Erik troubled.

‘You could say he was, yeah. Although he was always in his research, something about rewriting DNA codes like if they were computer programs, but well, everyone believed such thing was impossible.’

‘Was? So you mean that now we can rewrite DNA strands?’ asked Erik, somehow troubled.

‘No, of course not, we can create our own DNA strands but all of those experiments and tests were banned by the S.E.A.L.P., Dr. Martin’s work was merely theoretical.’ said the professor while arranging her scarf.

‘But, if he was a neuroscientist, why would he work on DNA, I mean, that is a work for a Geneticist’

‘Yes, you are right, but he was looking at it from another angle. He believed that with the right cells, the brain with its own biological functions, could make the body slowly rearrange its cells with the rewritten DNA, since our cells constantly regenerate, eventually the body would be made entirely of those new DNA cells.’ explained the professor.

‘I had no idea you could do that, on a living thing. I read once that some scientist rearrange the DNA strands of a bird and made it grow teeth and a tail, but they were embryos, not actual living birds’ Erik was astonished, that kind of work would’ve been an amazing advance in both, the Genetics and the Neuroscience field.

‘Well, Erik, that’s everything I can tell you today.’ claimed the professor.

‘Thank you professor, that’s actually really helpful, I would like to know more about my brother.’ said Erik. The professor stood up and took out her cellphone.

‘I’ll let you know if something comes up, you should read some of Dr. Martin’s work, that may give you a better idea about what he was working with your brother.’ the professor sent Erik her profile information and walked past Erik.

‘Stay safe, and keep everyone you care close’ said the professor before walking back into the food court.

Erik walked back to Helena’s room, the temperature dropped drastically, it was around 1°C or 0°C. He entered the room and talked with Christopher, Helena and Caitlyn about everything the professor said to him. Everyone was thinking about where would Alexander be, as well as why the Academy itself hide his info.

‘Ok, so basically your brother worked with Dr. Martin while he was here, and Dr. Martin had this crazy idea of rebuilding a human’s cells like a computer program, right?’ asked Christopher while writing down some notes.

‘Yeah, he believed that if a mutated cell entered the body, the brain could duplicate it and eventually the entire body would have that mutated cell.’ Erik, was making his cellphone spin in the table. He was still arranging all the information he heard.

‘Well, we know that the S.E.A.L.P. might give us permission to research if we send a written request, but I am pretty sure they will say no.’ said Christopher.

‘Have you read anything from Dr. Martin’s book Erik?’ asked Caitlyn, she was at Christopher’s side.

‘I read it, there’s nothing mentioned about the cells, it talks about the different aspects and processes that the brain can use to repair itself if needed, but nothing beyond that.’ said Erik before standing up and walking towards the window.

‘Look guys, things are pretty confusing right now. Let’s not tire ourselves right now with this.’ suggested Helena, she knew that both Caitlyn and Erik weren’t going to let this go until they understand it, so the best option was to meditate about it, think it through, something Christopher was good at, he believed patience was key.

‘Maybe it’s for the best, we can’t make a wrong move and let the S.E.A.L.P. spot us doing something we shouldn’t.’ said Christopher while he put his things in his bag. ‘We need to think this through, carefully.’

Caitlyn stood up and walked towards Erik, he was still looking outside the window.

‘Erik… I know things are confusing right now, but I want you to know that… we are here for you, Christopher and I’ Caitlyn said that rather sad, almost as if she knew how it felt to lose someone. Christopher got near Caitlyn and took her hand. ‘That’s right bro, we’re here for whatever you need, just say the word.’

Erik turned around and heard both of his friends, huh… a funny word isn’t it? Friends, he had friends, he had Helena, who he loved as a sister, and he didn’t figured it out until that moment, but he had two other friends, a girl with the most shiny golden eyes, Caitlyn and a very reliable, resourceful and keen boy, Christopher. He cared about them… a lot.

‘Thanks guys… really…’ said Erik, but before he could finish Caitlyn pounced to give him a tight hug. She was warm and soft, Erik hugged her back. ‘...I am here for you guys too.’ he said.

Christopher and Caitlyn left Helena’s room, It was running late and the next day was a school day, Friday, but a school day. Helena closed the door and stretched, she was tired.

‘I am exhausted, I am going to sleep now.’ said Helena before yawning a bit.

‘Yeah, me too. I’ll see you tomorrow Shine, good night’ said Erik while getting his things.

Helena gave him a tender kiss in the cheek before saying ‘Goodnight to you too’ and walking to her bedroom. Erik closed Helena’s door and looked at the hallway… clean and silent as always.

=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=°=

4am Friday

Dormitory section C, Female Wing

Caitlyn was in a deep sleep in her bed, even though her room was smaller than Erik and Helena’s, she enjoyed it, it was like a small flat. Most things were organized, and it had a comfortable bed, but what she loved about her room was that she had a window, not all the girls had one. It was near her bed, she like hearing the outside numbly before sleeping and how the sun would shine through in the mornings.

The thing was that this morning, was going to be different.

‘...look it’s the fastest way…’

‘Shh, they’ll hear you…’

Caitlyn woke up due to the voices, they were coming from the other room.

‘...we just need to be fast, the system resets at 5am…’

‘It’s too risky…’

It sounded like a girl and boy were having a conversation. Caitlyn got curious, so she carefully got out of bed and sticked her ear close to the wall to be able to hear better.

‘Ok, if you won’t go with me, I’ll do it by myself.’ the boy said.

‘No, please, don’t do this, it’s impossible, no one has gone over 21.’ the girl replied, she sounded scared.

‘If I don’t do this, I’ll never get out, I am sorry’ said the boy before the sound of a door closing startled Caitlyn.

«He’ll never get out? What does he mean?» thought to herself Caitlyn, she was going to call Christopher, but it was way too early, so she decided to do this on her own.

It was quite chilly, so she grabbed a sweater and put on small boots. She opened her room door and saw how a guy was walking down the stairs, rather suspiciously. If there was something Erik taught her, besides extremely long chemical compounds names, was that if someone looked suspicious or out of place, it looked that way because it was. She closed her door and followed the guy out the building. It was still dark, only the environmental light from the building and pathways allowed vision, she stayed behind the guy, keeping her distance and very aware of her surroundings. The guy walked all the way to the food court, past the Clinic and the Presentation Halls. Caitlyn was wondering where he was going, or most importantly what was going to reset at 5? The guy took a turn towards the forest part of the academy before entering the Food Court amd walked straight ahead. Caitlyn tailed him, using the woods to her advantage, evading being spotted. They walked for a long time, the foliage started to get denser and the sky was starting to get slightly blue. The guy stopped when he reached a wall, he started to frantically look for something on its surface, almost desperately. But he couldn’t find anything, Caitlyn stayed behind a bunch of bushes trying to identify what the guys was looking for but something distracted her, it was the guys watch, it had an alarm. The sound alerted Caitlyn and made her fall off to the ground, trying to not be spotted Caitlyn remained in the floor, she was behind a large log, it was hollow and cracked, she had a clear view of the guy.

‘No, no, no. It has reseted, why it did not open?!’ the guy shouted. He kneeled before the wall for a few seconds and then a sound took his attention.

Caitlyn heard how something hovered at her left side towards the guy, it was some kind of drone, it’s metal was black and it had a very bright light in the center with four other smaller drones around it, hovering along with it.

The guy looked terrified, he froze entirely. The drone with the light stayed in place facing the guy, while the smaller drones scanned the guy with a very thin and shiny blue wave. When the scan was finished, the smaller drones created a rectangle which they filled in with the same blue wave.

//S.G.S 3

Student #676

1/100.- Which element in the periodic table has the atomic number 53?

-Speak answer-//

The drone was displaying one of the impossible tests to the guy. Atomic number 53? Caitlyn couldn’t remember which one was that, probably Erik would know, even Helena.

‘I-I-Iodine?’ said the guy still terrified, he was sweating.

//S.G.S 3

Student #676

1/100 - Correct

2/100.- The increase in the rate of a chemical reaction by the active site of a protein is called?

-Speak answer-//

Apparently the guy was correct, the drone displayed another question, but he clearly had no clue. After a minute or so of the guy stuttering and thinking, a small countdown appeared, from 10. The guy got paranoid and before the countdown reached zero he tried to make a run from it. The drone shot him something and the guy fell to the ground, then the drone proceeded to pick the guys body and left towards the deeper woods, back to the Academy. Caitlyn was in a bit of a shock, she stayed in the floor for another while, the sun began to rise and she could notice how in the wall a straight horizontal line glowed and then stopped. She had to tell everyone what happened, tell them about the mysterious disappearance.

#TheAcademy21 #erikredwood #HelenaSilvershine #CaitlynBluefield #ChristopherGreensprout

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coffeeselfies · 10 years

Photo

This is technically the “I think I need coffee,” selfie, but it’s been so long since I’ve posted that I figured anything was better than nothing.

I’m still trying to sleep through the inspiration of a very wonderful Bob Goff.

I. love. him.

But on to darker things, like my not-so-distant past!

Hahaha. So I was looking for an old assignment I e-mailed myself, and instead found a bunch of cryptic-heavy things I had texted one of my rarely used e-mails from my phone.

So of course I’m going to put them together, here, since I will probably just lose them otherwise. And because everyone on the internet loves reading the things I e-mail to, well, myself (WAIT, DO I NOT HAVE FRIENDS, WHAT IS MY LIFE). :p

4/12/12 - A veces no quiero hablar Por Nada con mis amigos. Solamente, "Hoy me dice ,estas loca, pero le esta loco a Juan!" Y mas Nada. Yo quiero hablar about cosas lejas. Ayer y Hoy hable con jean y veronika, solamente small talk primer. Pero despues, yo decido hablar about the things which I was.actually thinking about lately, the deeper layers. My thoughts were kind of awkward. Random. But I'm so glad I did, it lead to such good convos! As if, although my own thoughts or specific revelation (another one about love, of course), but led to true, sincere convos from the heart. Yes! Thank you, Lord. It's funny how I won't open up and ill get frustrated at the lack of depth in a conversation, yet really all I need to do in some cases is just jump right into the true issues. Ahh small talk kills me.

3/4/12 - He asked us a few questions: Who are you using?

How are you using them?

Physically. Sexually. Emotionally. Spiritually. Monetarily.

How can you restore that? Who's using you? Do you love money, and use people?

Or do you love people, and use money?

5/9/12 I think my id and superego are in conflict... I prefer that psychological term to saying that right vs wrong or my flesh is in rebellion, I guess. I just want to do all sorts of things that aren't of God, and i don't even know what to do. I think I need to just remember that life is short, and not about what I want. I'm getting too caught up in the worldly details, my visions going, my path, every time I think I'm expanding it, is getting more and more limited. Goodnight, from post Dave n busters with cartel, post umsl, going to school tmrw.

5/17/12 - "Can you keep a secret?" I should have realized by now that this question should be answered with fear and heaviness rather than curiosity.

5/29/12 - I dreamt that, after they thought I had left, my parents started fighting. Loudly, viciously, hatefully. I came down shouting, 'stop it, stop it!!' But their heads were already covered in blood, as I'd they were going to kill eachother. I never found out if they stopped or not, because dad called to me in real life from the other room. At first I wondered if I had really been shouting, and that's why he had contacted me, but no, it was just about bulk trash being today. Something sounds like its gnawing on something, I can hear and feel the vibrations of it through my pillow. Creepy.

6/4/12 - I have always been a compassionate person – making little houses for wounded snakes and worms – befriending the kid who’s got no one but himself for company, partnering with the girl who doesn’t really speak English. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve recognized that God has been faithful in granting me patience, mercy, and grace as well, and I know that these are not my own, but I am meant to share them with the very people God has give me a heart for – the downtrodden, broken, and outcast, and ultimately just humanity in general. This has, more or less, been my (more recent) life pursuit. To follow God’s Will for my life, regardless of where it takes me. So far that has meant giving hope to weary and often lost travelers of Amsterdam, mentoring at risk juveniles and raising awareness for human trafficking in Los Angeles, running English and Summer-School programs for Chinese immigrants in New York City, training and creating jobs for families in Haiti, as well as hosting events and creating opportunities for girls to leave brothels , learning how to run a business in Mexico while also helping out at various orphanages for disabled Children, and even just being there for my own family and friends when they’ve needed it most. It has meant months of Ministry Training schools, years of living in International Community Houses, working in roles that range from administration, to construction, to managerial, and an ever growing reliance on and relationship with Jesus Christ.I’ve been back in Saint Louis for a year now,

7/1/12 - Today started strangely, my head still a little blurry from the wine from the night before. I went to church, very late, where daren had a cupcake waiting for me. Why? Because Tuesday I had admitted I had experienced some downer bdays and he realized that it was my half birthday. Mom came, cried, we hugged, went to the church picnic.. I went home, told dad about her accident, and he just started weeping, so hard that his nose began to.bleed. I stroked his hair and.got a bit teary eyed.and then we got.on our knees and prayed... Later was feeling down and missing Luke, but jean got me out.

11/11/12 - And with your hands in the air, your feet barely touching ground, I take that smile to mean that life is finally turning 'round. And we laugh til we cry and we dance til we cant, and I feel free as can be each time I see that gleam in your eye. Then the secrets come out and its less about being blessed and more about a high. So when you're dancing I'm wondering if that's you, and when you're singing, I know you would be singing.the blues... But that gleam in your eye, well really its more of a glaze all along, I just saw what I wanted as you,strung me along.

12/20/12 -

Well the queens off her throne Hiding in a stairwell Feet strewn about the stairs Seeming barely aware That her kingdom awaits The king, divorced long ago He's crying Where's his iron fist? Seems he's traded it for sentiment "Pathetic!" He might self accuse If only his tears would let him Seems everything's a dream these days, Some hellish, some sweet But all

I used to find the idea of receiving a text in the middle of the night strange.

Now, after years of practice, I find it comforting, perhaps a reminder that I am not so alone as I would feel.

I hadn't realized this, of course, until now.

Now, when I wake up to nothing but darkness and my own thoughts.

Now, when, regardless of whether I toss myself awake at 2am or 4am, there is no message.

There's nothing to reassure me that there's another person in this world who is awake and eager to share a moment, even a small, electronic message with me.

1/11/13 - Today Gave my testimony. Adopt a block, played ninja. Eva likes hanging out with Christians. I break rules and have real convos with the disciples. Play bs. Go to angelus temple. Do food distribution. Met hosea who talked to us because he thought I was pretty, was super catholic, thought tim was my bf, etc etc etc

1/29/13 - Oh hi, I'm feeling cold and pathetic, and thought I would ... Email myself. That seems fitting. Somehow emailing yourself feels much more pathetic than just journaling. Right now I feel like I wish anyone, absolutely anyone , would sit down across from me. Even the old creepy man who, after asking a few non essential questions, left me for the warmth of the indoors, or... I don't know, a donut. Why do I feel like this.Lord? Is it because I am not so busy in school? Is it because Adam moved and despite the fact that I was barely hanging out with him last semester anyway, he was a crutch, and knowing that at 1am when I feel pathetic and lonely and confused, I can't even text someone I know would care? I mean. I know others would care. But we aren't exactly on that level just yet. What is my life? Why am I this way, and why do I want attention for it? Or why do I feel the need to find someone who would , what, save me ? From myself.? From my thoughts? Why am I seeking comfort in shallow things, the wings of friends and acquaintences and , frick, anything. Whywhywhywhy. I don't know. Is this what life is like for people? Lord, you are the one God, the only thing worth it, you are good when no one else is, am I getting caught up in things that I shouldn't, what am I even going on about? Life life life. It's all good, right

2/13/13 - (From a voice to text translator)

tomorrow I'm supposed to have an awkward cuddling session with my love scene manager and a love my phone from church I'm not sure how I get myself into these awkward situations but I definitely am good at it office tomorrow my uncle is moving in for a month but should be really awkward and I wish that I had a lock on my door and the house I'm learning that the things that I desire to have a find myself feeling empty when I do get them but I'm happy about it because it gets me clarity because it shows me that nothing else really matters is just kind of in my head really got the only thing that matters is the only thing I should pursue S I miss Adam I know you won't hang out that much before you left but now I guess I'm missing him double I don't know I don't know what I mean exactly but he's been gone a few weeks now and it's weird not having a best friend to talk to you about everything I have a lot of friends I have a lot of good friends but this is different it is different when you have someone who knows so much about you already and you don't have to tell the back story every time you tell them a new story because I already know who so I'm so is or why you feel that way or white was a bad idea that you did that so I'm also giving up ice cream and I'll call for lunch and I'm going to be time to eat a lot better subject tomorrow hopefully that I've also really just been wanting to be free of employment just live and everyday wake up and say what I want to do without help homeless people if I want to make something I want to sell another day love you babe I wanna go out with a friend I make my card I definitely don't want to spend 5 shifts a week at cartel but at the same time I don't feel like I'm self disciplined enough to not have a job I'm just getting tired of the creepers and the internet the kids off work as well as yeah I don't know ent from my HTC on the Now Network from Sprint!

8/18/13 -

Woke up really missing my dad. Go figure. Able to properly seduce emotions into a flat, shruggable denial ever since those first few days, and now, on the day I hoped to "stay strong" the most, I can't stop thinking of part of the song he wrote for Rachel, only now in regards to him - "I miss you, in the summertime.. I miss you, in the wintertime.. I miss you - all the time. I love my Rachel Sue." Only.. Daddy-o, or something. Ahhh.. Thank you, Lord, for such a kind father. Please help today glorify your name, run smoothly.. its so obvious we can't do it without you.

8/19/13 - I miss my dad. I am sad that I'll never have him burst in my room in November at three am with pancakes and lit birthday candles because he started thinking about some of the birthdays of mine he had missed, and wanted us to be able to celebrate together. I can't drink milk or even look at rootbeer without hearing him ask for some, so eagerly, and then sigh 'mmmm, now that's good,' so contentedly after his first sip. I miss that his crazy stories are not going to be things that I share in everyday conversation with my friends, because they're all old stories and it will seem out of place. who do i have to talk to about my dad? no one. it makes everyone sad. theres no one to just share his life with, aside from close family, and that will be limited. Everyone keeps telling me I'm so strong. What does that mean?I'm strong because I didn't start sobbing when I spoke? Because I'm smiling and laughing with you? Is that strength or disposition? Blake said that I was handling this better than anyone he's ever seen deal with death. What does that mean?

12/13/13

I see a sadness in your eyes.Behind the words, another message.The weight of your world becomes tangible, heavy, a thickness that weights me like a fog rolling in with, strapping invisible bricks to my body. Sometimes it's your words, blatant and straightforward, other times it's the sighs, the eyes that flash with emotion for just a moment, Did you know that's been seen? So many words, how can they be contained? I hear things you've never said, I see

1/03/14-

I've tried reflecting on 2013.. tried finding words which could somehow, miraculously encapsulate all of the growth, struggle, joy, depression, transformation, and experiences that it contained. It will be one of the most memorable years of my life, for many reasons, but it may also be one of those years that the full impact of may be lost on me for awhile now.In the past few weeks, I've been looking through journals, photos, and letters, remembering and realizing exactly how many changes this year has brought. Led my first missions trip, felt the loss of saying goodbye to one of my best friends, discovered what living with not just my dad, but my uncle Ken, five chickens, two cats, two ducks, a dog, and whoever else decided to stay over was like, became the missions director at middletree church, became an AUNT to the most beautiful little Emelia Skye, gained a new set of amazing and wonderful friends, played nurse/daughter/friend/staff member/sister/maid/hopsicecare/barista/student/leader to the point of confused identity and exhaustion, left cartel to become part of the Caife Caife family, DIDN'T leave the country for the first time in yeaaaaars, actually had to turn down exciting travel/jobs, speaking opportunities, and a leadership position with a non-profit (rather than seek them out, like usual), spent 7 months of the year experiencing the beauty, hardship, and love of caring someone who is dying in more and more ways every day, the trauma and release of my dad's actual death, the months following that are nothing but fog, sorrow, and blurred memories, the 14-state family road trip of a lifetime, moving to the Loop with Dani, experiencing being 'home for the holidays' without any actual family to be home with, and .. I don't know.. the Sara of today, who can look back on things only a year ago and find I have a whole new perspective on them. ..I only wrote one public (well, as public as it can be when I have a total of 8, predominately inactive followers) blog post in 2013, mostly talking about overcoming fear to become the person I feel I'm called to be. It was mostly inspired by revelations from the LA Dream Center trip, and I can't tell you how nice it is to be able to look back on the goals and dreams I wanted so desperately to become a reality, and to be able to say that, even through all the changes and sorrow of this year, that they were able to come to fruition. I'm not in to new years resolutions, but I do highly recommend kickstarting your year with an inspiring, transformative experience, which can set the trajectory for how you are going to live, what goals you will meet or fall short of (but still come closer to, which is still GROWTH, something to celebrate!) in the coming adventure of 2014. No matter what 2013 held, don't let fear of who you were just last month keep you from being who you want to be tomorrow. This little blog post is nice for me to re-read, because it reminds me of my fears, and what overcoming them, even one step at a time, can lead to. 2013 was a hard year for me, but it has also brought me to exactly where I feel I'm supposed to be right now.

1/29/14 - "I'm good" I wore the reassuring words like a blanket. Cover, no, smother whatever was beneath, within. Protect yourself from the cold, vulnerable words might slip thru the holes in the blanket... exposed means they can feel temperature of your meaning. Heavy, heat from the heart. you can feel their response. Pray for a warm touch, but there's always risk of icicle daggers

2/19/14

it's just that

I have a lot of thoughts

ideas, fears, ..a lot of places that I'd like to explore

But they feel so heavy when it's just me and them

feels like there’s a lot of trees to climb before i get to the clouds

and I'd like to share them with someone

who cares about them just as much as I do,

someone with just as much to risk,

who understands each side of the story.

And sometimes, I see planets in those eyes,

but have no rocketship to get me there

And I see that depth, but there's just no way to tap in

Im searching for someone to explore with

those infinite galaxies in your mind and mine.

Someone to make sense of it,

write poetry about it

but not get so caught up that it's just us - no

Always God first.

Always seeking his planets, his stars, his truth..

and maybe that's the adventure..

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artificialqueens · 8 years

Text

Imbalance Ch.2 (Group Fic/Katya Centric)

A/N: Hey guys! So I’m finally getting the hang of this whole writing process, but like I said before please bare with me for the first few chapters as I figure my life out lol. Basically just to clear some things up (also because I’ve been trying to work this out as well) When Katya is in drag she’ll be referred to as Katya and it’ll be ‘her’, but when she get’s out of drag I’m going with Brain and will use ‘he’. You’ll see that in this chapter and I think I did a pretty decent job with it, but it it seems shaky of confusing let me know! If I’m talking about other drag queens it’ll probably be just their drag names unless they’re being serious, as to stress a point. If that makes sense haha (like using your full name when your parents are mad at you)…Anywaysss thanks for the support and I’m really enjoying writing this and I have some great plans for where this is headed! This is a longer chapter than the first so enjoy! Xx -Chloe

Katya cowered, shoeless mind you, against the far end of the wall in the small stall. Waiting for the two giggling girls who stumbled into the bathroom to get the heck out. The last thing she needed was someone from the club recognizing her and snapping a few pics. Twitter would explode. She couldn’t disappoint her fans like that. The other girls would flip. Michelle would probably take her off of the next few performances, at the very least (Michelle was quite scary when she was upset, and when her ‘children’ get into trouble she gets scared and then takes some not-so enjoyable actions, consequences Katya did not want to have to deal with to begin with).

The consequences. Oh dear lord, she needed this night to be over…well technically it was the morning.

3:37 am

I have to be in the hotel lobby surrounded by everyone and on a bus in less than 4 hours…kill me.

“I might as well try and at least make it back to the hotel in one piece and sleep in a real bed for at least a few hours.” Katya muttered to herself.

The clicking of heels became softer, the giggling disappeared, and finally the door shut once more. Leaving Katya alone once again.

After looking in the next stall over she found her illusive pair of red heels hidden behind the toilet. In her state of mindless panic (that she couldn’t really remember?) she must’ve kicked them off and shoved them away. Katya got like that when she drank…panicky. Well not just drunk, actually when she used any substance. It was because she knew it was just a temporary bandaid for the depression and anxiety that was about to rear its ugly head again. She knew that once the effects wore off she’d be in a hole so dark and deep she wouldn’t want to get up, or move, or live, or…

Focus girl

Taking a deep breath and grabbing her phone off of the sink Katya got ready, to exit.

Opening the door slowly she looked left towards the bar (only a very wasted man sat, with a very exhausted bartender trying to push him out the door), and then right which lead down a hall way. At the end lit up a sign saying EXIT in large red letters.

Walking/stumbling out of the club and into the side street she could see the entrance of their hotel glaring back at her.

“Thank God,” she breathed a sigh of relief. At least she knew where she was.

Making a run for it she bolted across the empty street, into the lobby, and into the elevator.

Wait what floor, what floor, what floor?

She stared at the bright numbers on the panel of the elevator…there were 36.

“Shit” she cursed, wracking her brain for some piece of information that would help her remember what floor they were all staying on.

Coming up completely blank Katya had to resort to her last option. Alaska fucking Thunderfuck 5000. The bitch would kill her for calling her so late (early? It was almost 4am..), but she had to get back to her room, and Alaska had the unlucky pleasure of being roomed with the one and only Katya herself.

Grabbing her phone she dialed…and waited…and waited…the ringing was killing her…

“Umm what the fuck hello?” A tired and half mumbled voice spoke on the other end.

“Hey uh Lasky its Kat, would you mind just um uh telling me what floor we’re on, and like um also the room we are…and you know while you’re at it maybe just open the door so I know where to go?.”

“Brian what in the actual hell, it is four in the fucking morning, what are you even doing here? Last I heard Michelle said you found some cute trade to cuddle up with,” Alaska drawled sounding annoyed she’d been awoken from her beauty sleep

Even while half asleep she can still be petty, Katya thought, rolling her eyes.

Putting on the most convincing ‘I’m Katya Zamalowhatever and IDGAF’ voice she spoke, “Look, none of your business, it’s not like you got any tonight. I just forgot the room number I was on my phone when Michelle made the announcement or whatever. Look can you just please tell me where the fuck to go so I can take this makeup off and go to sleep.”

“You’re still in drag?”

“Yes, that’s besides the point, can you just-“

“Kat, are you okay?” There was a serious undertone in Justin’s voice. He knew that as much as Katya loved being Katya, when the shows and parties were over she liked to go back to Brian…at least to sleep. Brain never slept in full face, and for it to be four AM and have a very flustered Katya call asking what room they were in? That was weird. Even for someone as naturally weird and eccentric as Katya.

Katya was exhausted and beyond done with this conversation. Justin was in his sweatpants cuddled in blankets in their hotel room laying on a fluffy bed. Katya on the other hand felt disgusting, was sitting on the floor of the elevator (there seems to be a theme of sitting on gross public floors tonight). Her feet hurt, her head hurt, her body hurt, her mind was racing.

There it was, the panicked feeling again. It felt like a weight was being shoved on her chest. The elevator suddenly seemed much smaller than it appeared to be.

“Justin, please,” Katya choked out. “I’ll talk later. I’m fine okay, just tired. Please don’t push it any further, it’s a moot point anyways, I am fine Barbaraaa”

“Ugh fine. Floor 19. Room 7B. I’ll leave it cracked for you. I’m going back to sleep though bitch. Take your makeup off, but don’t wake me up or I’ll slit your throat with my fucking nails. Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning…well in like 3 hours. Good God girl you’re going to be fucked tomorrow morning,” Justin chuckled, and with that the phone went silent. At least someone was going to be sleeping well tonight.

Floor 19, room 7B. Easy enough.

Pushing the buttons and getting off of her ass Katya waited for the doors to open for their floor.

Seven B, Seven B, Seven B

She glanced down the hall to her left side, the sign read “1B-28B.”

Okay, that way we go.

It only took a quick walk past a few closed doors to see the one that was opened slightly, reading ‘7B.’

“Jackpot,” she whispered to herself.

The room was completely dark, and the only sound was Justin’s obnoxiously loud breathing.

Yup definitely the right room, she thought rolling her eyes once more.

Walking into the bathroom Katya turned on the light and shut the door gently, as to not wake the sleeping beast on the other side of the room. She didn’t want to look in the mirror anymore. She didn’t want to be Katya anymore. Stripping off the dirty clothes, matted and tangled wig, and tattered tights, she turned on the shower.

He was Brian again, which originally he thought would make him feel better. Like he could somehow separate himself from Katya and the actions he had taken, but apparently that was not the case.

Washing the makeup off and cleaning his body seemed like it took an eternity, but at this point, this entire night felt like it would never end so the closer he was getting having it be over with the better.

Brian felt numb the more he thought about it. What did I do? You piece of shit. I hate you I hate you I hate you. Why don’t you feel anything. Feel guilty. Feel sad. Feel fucking something. Please. FEEL SOMETHING.

But Brian couldn’t. Just like Katya couldn’t. It didn’t matter if he wiped all of Katya off, it didn’t matter if he could look in the mirror and see Brian. It didn’t fucking matter. It all blurred together now. When Brian looked in the mirror he saw addiction. He saw suffering. He saw his anxiety and depression. He saw all his fucking past and history dug up and start to wrap their hands around his neck taking the life out of his eyes. Dressing up as Katya couldn’t fix that for him.

“Why can’t I feel anything,” Brain agonized running his hands through his hands, “What’s wrong with me.”

Turning up the temperature in the shower to a basically boiling point, he sat down and wrapped his arms around his slender body. The water on his back burned. It burned like a mother fucker, but at least he could feel it. It made things seem real for him. The water. The pain.

“Feel the heat on my sizzling meat…” he laughed dryly into his hands.

Okay girl time to get your ass up and out of here.

Brian could basically hear Alyssa in all her glory making a joke about “girl look how fucking red and wrinkly you look, girl.” That made him smile slightly, he was happy to have friends on the tour. He needed them. He just couldn’t tell them.

Maybe you should..you could get help.

“No.” Brian whispered as he turned off the water and grabbed a towel to dry himself off. “No one needs to know.”

Putting on some clean clothes and making his way over to his bed he finally was able to lay down and breathe. He’d never been so tired in his whole life.

4:32am….awesomeeee I can sleep for a solid 2 hours.

Wrapping the comforter tightly around him he started to close his eyes.

This night never happened.

#imbalance #katya zamolodchikova #alaska thunderfuck #michelle visage #alyssa edwards #group fic #bots #chloe #tw anxiety #rpdr fanfiction #canon compliant #tour fic

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trillgutterbug · 8 years

Text

in which a 4am note-writing session turns into shitty nic/geoff camping fic

-So I’m sitting here thinking, how would it happen, Nic and Geoff, finally getting their shit together?

-Not in a bar, that’s too easy.

-Maybe camping tho.

-Except I can’t see Nic going camping for shiggles, not at this point.

-Well

-Unless he’s just…. going through some stuff and he mentions it to Geoff sort of in melancholic passing one night, installed at the pub on their sixth round, lights low and fuckin kenny rogers on the juke, mentions that he wants to go back out, see how it is in the woods at night by himself when he’s not drugged or terrified out of his mind.

-And Geoff is like, Haha okay buddy but try this on for size: no fucking way are you going camping out there alone, you need a big strong man to protect you.

-Nic sort of grins a little sleepy and drunk at him and says, You’re not that big.

-Geoff grins back, leans across the table to do a bicep curl in front of Nic’s face. Yeah alright, but feel this, he says. Go on hot shot, give it a squeeze.

-Nic does, giggling, says softly, Yeah okay. I guess you can come, you passed the test.

-So they go out camping that weekend. Just for the night. They don’t go far, a respectable hour’s walk, nothing any casual camper wouldn’t do.

-They make a fire and Nic says no thanks to the beer Geoff brought; he wants to be on top of his game, clear-eyed and clear-headed.

-Geoff doesn’t drink any either. Nic tells him it’s fine, it’s not a thing, but Geoff says, Nah man, no way, if you’re sober I’m sober. I’m your muscle, right?

-Nic looks down into the fire and smiles a little and doesn’t answer.

-They talk for a long time, about growing up and their school years and Geoff’s tours and tv they like and the hobbies they had as teenagers (LARPing and karate respectively, and it’s not respective the way you’d think) and and and

-Natural and quiet and relaxed, long past dark.

-Nic says a few strange things after a while, nothing overt, just shit that makes Geoff pause and squint at him across the fire, rambling morbid questioning things that trail off into silence.

-Sorry, Nic says, shaking himself, chuckling with embarrassment. Um sorry, that was weird. I didn’t mean… anything by that.

-Nah man, says Geoff, poking at the fire with a stick. It’s cool it’s cool, I know you’re a fuckin nerd, no point apologizing now.

-…Right, Nic murmurs, in that soft amused way.

-They go to bed, to their own tents.

-Say goodnight to each other, close and clear even though it feels like they’re miles apart with those thin walls of nylon between them.

-Geoff lies awake for a long time with one hand pressed against his chest, feeling his heartbeat. He’s breathless, wrenched with tender protective longing all the way through.

-He’s in deep fucking trouble.

-He sleeps for a while, and then he wakes up. He knows something’s off. It scares the shit out of him.

-He scrambles out of the tent nearly panicked, sure there’s something wrong, that there’s danger.

-Nic’s tent is wide open, empty.

-Geoff finds him with the beam of his flashlight at the edge of the woods on the other side of the cold ashy fire. He’s just standing there in his boxers and t-shirt, staring into the trees. He doesn’t answer when Geoff calls him. It’s like a fucking horror movie. Geoff’s a brave motherfucker okay but he’s wigged the hell out.

-Nic? he says, sidling up beside him. Buddy? You okay?

-Nic’s eyes are open, but he’s just staring. He’s breathing slow and even. Geoff touches him and he doesn’t startle exactly but he sort of shivers all over, like he’s coming up out of deep water.

-He says, I had a dream.

-He describes this dream slowly, the words sure but the memory fading. It doesn’t make a lot of sense, it’s about flowers and flying, a smell and a light. It trails off.

-Geoff says, You wanna get back in your tent buddy?

-…No, Nic says. I want to… I wanna stay out here for a little while.

-Alright, Geoff says, but aren’t you cold?

-No, Nic says. Laughs. Of course I’m not cold.

-They sit down in the leaves and the dirt. Geoff describes a silly dream he’d had, just something to talk about, to fill the unnerving quiet. In the middle of it, the middle of his sentence, Nic sinks down and curls up with his head in Geoff’s lap.

-It makes him stammer, stop, say, Ummm haha okay hi?

-Don’t stop, Nic sighs. I like your voice.

-Oh, Geoff says. Oh. Okay.

-He talks and talks. After a while, he realises he’s stroking Nic’s hair, just a soft careful petting, thoughtless.

-Nic rolls over to look up at him eventually. He reaches to touch Geoff’s face, trails his fingers down the curve of Geoff’s jaw.

-I like you, he says. You're… a good friend.

-Thanks, Geoff says through the lump in his throat.

-When Nic draws him down, he only hesitates for a second. They kiss easily, tenderly. Geoff’s heart tries to pound out of his chest. Nic is so much more confident than he’d expected, unhurried but determined, his hand firm on the back of Geoff’s neck.

-His mouth makes Geoff rethink the entire world.

-They kiss for a while, deep, slow, and then Nic sighs again, sleepy. He burrows deeper into Geoff’s lap.

-Talk to me some more? he asks.

-Geoff can hardly breathe, can hardly think or speak, he’s so full of everything all at once and it’s huge and overwhelming and trembling, but he clears his throat and croaks, Yeah alright, and goes back to talking.

-Maybe a half hour later, Nic shudders all over. He gasps and sits straight up. He looks around in bewilderment.

-Geoff? he says. What are we… Why are we outside? Am I– Am I…?

-It takes a second, but Geoff realises. Like a sick horrible curdled wave crashing over him, he realises.

-Oh, he says. Oh. Uh oh. Uhhhh I think you were… I think maybe you were sleepwalking? You didn’t want to go back to bed, so…

-Nic is clearly embarrassed, but too confused and disoriented to make it a Thing. He says, Oh well thank you, I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.

-Geoff tells him, Hey don’t worry about it, it was fine, I didn't… I didn’t mind.

-He is sunk beneath the crushing weight of his enormous disappointed guilt.

-Let’s get you back to bed, he murmurs, and takes Nic to his tent. Gets him inside and sort of crouches there outside the flap, Nic squinting sleepily at him in the beam of the flashlight.

-He has to say something. He’s heavy with guilt.

-He says, Hey so, I just gotta tell you, I’m not gonna be that asshole who… Um anyway, I’m really sorry, but I sort of. I sort of kissed– Well, we, back there, before you– before you woke up, I didn’t realise you were sleepwalking, I swear to Christ I didn’t, but uh– we sort of made out? A bit? Not a lot! It was just sort of, uh yknow heat of the moment, I don’t know man ha it just kinda– kinda happened, I’m real sorry, I never would have– if I’d realised. I’m an idiot, clearly. Let’s forget about it if that’s cool, I’m not gonna get… get weird on you or… or anything, I just wanted you to know.

-We made out? Nic says. He doesn’t look angry. He looks kind of puzzled. We kissed? he says. Just now, over in the… We kissed?

-Uh yeah, Geoff mutters. We did, sort of.

-Sort of? What does that mean, sort of?

-Well I guess I just mean… nah, it wasn’t sort of, we did. There was… kissing, yeah. Makin… Makin out, haha (rubbing the back of his neck, face on fire)

-Huh, Nic says. Well that’s not… too surprising.

-Its not?? Geoff says.

-Well, no… Nic sort of shrugs one shoulder, ducks his head. I’ve kinda… I mean I’ve had… Sort of a thing? For you. For a while. Yknow…

-You’ve. You’ve had a, uh. A thing. Geoff stares. For me. For a while.

-Is that weird? Nic says, but not like he actually thinks it is. Like he thinks Geoff is being weird.

-No no! Geoff says. No. Ha no. Nah. Not weird. Kind of um. That's… good. That’s good right? You’re not upset? That I uh

-No, Nic says. Shakes his head so his hair falls in his eyes. No I’m not… I’m not upset.

-Okay. Geoff rubs his sweaty hands down his jeaned thighs. He laughs, nervous relief. Okay! That’s– good! I’m glad! Wow haha, I was really… really worried for a sec there.

-Yeah, Nic says. Hey do you… want to sleep in here with me? For the night? Not to do anything, not like that, just um. I’m kind of. I don’t want to be… (by myself, he doesn’t say)

-Yeah, Geoff says, breathless, a little fast. Okay, yeah.

-He crawls into the tent with Nic and shuts off the flashlight. They wedge themselves into Nic’s sleeping bag. It’s silly and it’s too small and it’s amazing. Geoff wants to die in every good way. Nic cuddles up against him, head tucked under his chin, against his chest.

-Geoff squeezes his eyes shut and just reminds himself to fucking breathe.

-(In the morning Nic smiles at him sweet and close and says, I know morning breath isn’t like sexy or anything, but since I missed all the kissing last night……. could we maybe do an encore?)

-(And Geoff doesn’t even say yes, he doesn’t need to, he pulls Nic into him like the closing of a set of parentheses)

-(Nic is late getting to work, but that’s okay, that’s what interns are for)

#tanis #geoffic #my fic #this is legitimately how i take fic notes btw but usually it doesn't come out this lowkey cute #it's shitty and i like it #i might turn this into a proper fic who knows #nic silver #geoff van sant #haha anyway tiny fandoms are the worst and i want to die :)#nic is a cinnamon roll and i want to die even more #:)))))))#nic/geoff

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chunmakowski3-blog · 7 years

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mature wanker - Six Tips That Will Make You Guru In Mature Fap

About a week ago I received a relatively innocent Snapchat photo from a girl Id long given up any of hope of ever hearing from again... mostly because theres about 8,000 miles separating us. Ill call her Cèleste for our purposes today. We had a short "How are you" conversation as prior lovers are prone to do and the reminiscing on her has lead me to resolve to contribute to this sub instead of just lurking today. Ill be including some buildup as frankly its inseparably woven into the fabric of my memory of this night but Ill include a break down below for you to skip to if the sexy is what you seek. Additionally there may be some moral choices present that you may or may not agree with.. thats your prerogative. The Friday night we met was a pretty normal fall Southern California evening. I had worked the day shift at the bar where I was employed and got off around 6pm after helping with the happy hour rush. I came home to an empty house. My wife at the time had gone down to LA from the small college town where we lived with a couple of friends and our housemate to a concert/celebrate a birthday but unfortunately I wasnt able to get off work the full weekend so I was left behind.. which was fine with me anyway, the band wasnt my thing and I dont care for clubbing which was mostly their whole weekend plus my wife and I hadnt really been getting along for the better part of four months anyway so I figured some time to decompress and be alone would be nice. I hit downtown about an later and found a spot at the bar of a place Id walked past a few times but never gone inside. It had an eclectic vibe split between people watching playoff baseball and dancing to the loud house music pumping so I figured Id hang around. She came in with her friend about thirty minutes later. She was maybe 53" in her dark converse sneakers. She cut a great figure (I had no idea) in a gray T-shirt with French writing and dark jeans.. But I think it was the black leather jacket that really oozed confidence and raw sensual mystique. When she sat at the bar I had a flashback to college: that first day of class when everyones picking seats and a cute girl walks in, surveys the room and winds up picking the seat next to you. I wasnt even single or looking for a girl to pick up and it still had me flustered a bit.. but once they had their drinks and started chatting with each other the feeling passed and it was back to baseball. Or at least so I thought.. shortly after returning from a cigarette break her friend began talking with a young man and Cèlestes attention wandered. I cant remember who started the conversation (likely her), but Ill never forget the feeling of being entranced staring into her gorgeous bright green eyes while she repeatedly pondered how anyone could enjoy "bays-bowl". I answered her sarcastic jabs with a bit of sass and it piqued her interest enough to skip the next smoke break. The connection was almost instant. We ordered a couple more rounds and talked about cultural differences, history, languages and education. When shed first come in Id guessed she was an exchange student at the local University, perhaps 19 or 20 using a fake ID but in fact she was 23 and freshly graduated. She and her friend were taking a three month long tour of California before taking jobs back home. The conversation inexorably turned to our love lives and after telling me she was single and not looking to settle down any time soon she asked about me. Drunk with infatuation (and maybe a couple of whiskey shots) I replied that I too was single and just working in town because.. hey, its a college beach town. This is a time to mention that this only worked because I didnt have a wedding ring on. My wife and I had decided to forego rings in favor of matching tattoos.(We were HS sweethearts. Young and dumb, I know.) Eventually Cèleste wants to go somewhere else as she and Nathalie were only in town until tomorrow. Nathalies beau had ditched her so they ask me to lead them somewhere new and fun. We take off as Nathalie closes her bill but as were walking down the street Cèleste starts feeling not so good.. I lead her down a side street and into an alley where she proceeds to... Yeah. I hold her hair until shes done, then flag Nathalie down and offer to call them a cab but for whatever reason Cèleste decides she wants to stay out. She drinks water at the next bar while sobering up as Nathalie flirts until last call and then we head to the beach. The three of us sit on the sand listening to the waves and share a spliff while we look at the stars and talk until about 4am. It was so serene and the mental stimulation/connection I felt with her during that chat will forever stay in my memory. Cèleste is much more sober than Nathalie as this point and starts talking about getting an Uber for their 45 minute trip home. In my infatuated stupor I offer my house as an alternative. Now, wary reader, before you assume my awful intentions I wasnt thinking with my little head. Id ruled anything like that out the second those drinks had come back up for a visit. I explained how my roommates were out of town and that theres a spare bed they could have. Cèleste hugged and thanked me and they agreed so we caught an Uber home. Cèleste was very cuddly on the drive, thanking me for being such a gentleman after her episode while Nathalie was basically about to pass out. We got in the house and I showed them their room/bathroom and said goodnight. I heard the shower turn on as I changed out of my clothes, turned off the lights and closed my eyes listening to the water falling and thinking about my strained marriage and exciting it was feeling a romantic connection with someone for the first time in a long time. The next thing I remember is being jolted awake at the feeling of the bed moving and waking up to see the outline of a curvy nude body and those gorgeous green eyes crawling towards me in the darkness on hands and knees. I could see the outline of a smile creep across her face and her arm lightly grazed mine. My brain started a fight between the alarm of "What are you doing!?!" and "Wow..." Id had group experiences with my wife before but never gone behind her back like this. The reservations began building in my stomach, but those eyes drank away all of my hesitations. Id been staring at them all night, mesmerized, and when her arm grazed mine the warmth of her skin was enough to send me over the edge of hesitation. I reached my hand up and cupped the side of her face, bringing her closer to me. She inched forward until I felt the tip of her erect nipple on my chest. Her breathing quickened as I smiled back. She whispered "I wanted to brush my teeth before I did this" in that sultry accent and leaned in for a soft but passionate kiss. I returned it as my hands began exploring her body. My right hand came off her face and immediately went to her round full ass. It was so soft, round and full. Id been staring at it all night and determined the jeans shed worn had done her ass plenty of justice. She moaned lightly into my mouth as I gripped her cheek and pulled her body down on top of me. I knew she could feel me starting to swell against her thigh and she broke our kiss, lifting her head up to grin. "Quest-ce que cest?" She cooed, reaching her down my stomach and under the lining for my boxers. She ground her thigh gently against me as her small hands wrapped around the head of my rapidly rising penis. I grunted quietly and began softly kissing her neck and upper chest, nuzzling my way towards her breasts still keeping a firm grip of her ass as her petite fingers worked their way as around my tip and down the length of my shaft as best the could. She leaned back indicating she wanted up so I let her get to her knees. The moonlight coming through the window illuminated her frame as she worked to try to get my boxers off and I could finally clearly see her chest. I was pleasantly surprised to see that even only being 53" she was blessed with very full Cs that were extremely perky.. I heard a gasp as she finally released me from my boxers and apparently discovered that I was equipped above her expectations. She leaned down presumably to inspect closer but the next thing I knew I felt a warm, wet, enveloping sensation as she pressed her tongue flat and firm against the bottom of my cock and slowly dragged it up the entire length. She was on her knees now just to my side closely inspecing the tip of my dick with her tongue when she again dragged her tongue up my length. I groaned loudly and then inhaled sharply as a primal lust began building in me. Reaching out my hand I slapped her ass hard, triggering a moan from her. She remarked about my size, mumbling about how Im the biggest shes tried to blow as she continued taking a mouthful of my now rock solid dick. I groaned in reply and slapped her ass again as she started to circle the outline of my tip with her tongue. I told her to stop teasing me and take it already, which she enthusiastically did. My fingertips traced her lower back as she lowered her mouth in small increments before pulling back and repeating. I made my way to the outline of her pussy to find she was soaking wet and easily slipped a finger inside of her. My lust grew with every sloppy slurp of her swallowing me and every moan of pleasure from feeling my fingertips teasing her swollen pussy lips before disappearing inside her. Finally I couldnt sit idly by anymore. I picked her head up off me and pushed her head down to the mattress. Her as looked amazing sticking up into the air as I got to my knees, kneeled beside her and buried my fingers into her pussy to the knuckle. She gripped the sheets as I watched her face contort and her mouth go agape. I began thrusting my fingers into her, giving myself a break from stimulation as I teased her gspot with my fingertips and smasked her ass with my free hand. In case you loved this article as well as you would like to get details regarding mature smoking video i implore you to check out the website. She moaned repeatedly rocked her hips back to meet my fingers and with her rhythm building I could tell she was close. Listening to her groans made me feel so powerful and animalstic. I asked her repeatedly "You like that? Huh?" uncaring about her milfs friends response though it was always yes. I told her how sexy she looked as I held the back of her neck and finger fucked her wet pussy. I took my left hand and reached under her, first squeezing her nipple before letting my hand slide down her stomach to her clit. I barely applied any stimulation before she gripped my calf with her arm and let out a loud "Yessssss!!" as I moved my hand in a circle across her clit while continuing to thrust into her with my fingers. I got a small cut actually from where her fingernails dug into my leg as her orgasm hit a crescendo and she bucked backwards onto my fingers one last time before collapsing. We smiled and laughed as she recovered. During the down time I lost my erection which she promptly massaged back to life. The lust to take her quickly returned and I rolled her onto her back, taking her legs in my hand as she guided my girth between her legs and inside her. Her pussy felt so warm and wet, it squeezed every inch as I made my way inside. She moaned with every small thrust until my whole length was soaking wet. I put her legs over my shoulders and grabbed her hips as I began long stroking in and out. The combination of hearing her moans of pure pleasure and the movement of her hips as she rocked back onto me as I filled her up, her pussy clenching and squeezing every inch of my to try and milk my seed into her was unlike anything Ive ever felt. I grunted loudly as we picked up the pace and found a rhythm together. I was entranced by the sight of her full, pert breasts bouncing and swaying with every thrust and zoned out slightly.. unable process the overwhelming amount of positive stimulation and forgot everything except my primal need to fuck this beautiful creature beneath me and fill her with my seed. I barely even noticed her second orgasm until she started tapping my shoulder, signaling me to slow down. I hadnt cum yet but we were both tired and out of breath so she told me to fuck her again and not stop until I cum. I leaned in the kiss her and slowly started gyrating my hips inside her as I did. She groaned lightly, grabbed my ass and pulled me even deeper into her as we built a new rhythm. Eventually it became too much and I felt that familiar feeling building within me. I began to speed up and let my strokes build longer. I told her I was going to cum soon and her response was an airy "Très bien". I felt her begin to contract the walls of her pussy after I said that milking every inch of me to coax my cum out. I asked her where to cum and she replied "anywhere". It took every ounce of discipline in my sexy mature big ass body not to continue pumping and fill her up but I held back, pulling out and releasing my load all over her chest. Her tits were completely covered as she leaned up and stuck out her tongue to clean up what was left on my dick. After we cleaned up she cuddled up next to me, I wrapped my arm around her and we fell asleep. In the morning, once the whiskey wore off, I started to feel then pangs of guilt realizing the gravity of what Id just done but that was temporarily alleviated as Cèleste woke up and we proceeded to have sex again. Her body was just as beautiful in the morning light. We kissed goodbye as she and Nathalie got in the Uber to go back to their hotel, then kissed again after I had to meet her about 2 hours later after she noticed shed left her leather jacket at my place. It was a different kiss, that second one... Ill always remember that too. /u/sexytimethrownow

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victoriaschamberofsecrets · 7 years

Text

Hey it’s Reilly. Remember how I used to rant about boys in high school on here? Well guess who’s back. Me. I’m here to rant about some more bitches. In case you didn’t know me, I’m a well-established hoe who doesn’t trust anyone ever. I decided to take a chance on some boy and it did not work out well. AM I SURPRISED? No. Did I mean to capitalize that whole sentence? Also no. I’m halfway drunk still. Woke up for some reason at 4 AM. I don’t want to go back to sleep. I would like the rest of the world to wake up for me. I’m having a bad day. Can’t they just wake up on my simple command? Imagine if I was like an Egyptian Queen or something and I just woke up at 4am and decided that it was time to start the day. That would be really dramatic. I would totally wake everyone in the town up though. That’s very me. Hey, Reilly, why are you talking about Egypt and shit? I don’t know. I did a lot of questionable things within the last 24 hours(send train emojis to my second ex, text some guy I used to hookup with and snapchat a really ugly picture of me to some other guy I used to hookup with). The only thing I don’t regret is moving the fuck out of my boyfriend’s hotel (internship) and starting a new life without him. Listen, I’ve been depressed (like hardcore skipping work and sleeping instead) for the past week and that shit ends now. I’M FUCKING DONE. Did I mean to capitalize that sentence? Yes. It was for effect. #English. Yeah I’m an English major. The funny thing is in the movies everyone that’s an English major gets a job writing for some hot shot newspaper or writes the next big hit novel before 20. Oh my god that bothers the shit out of me. Not only is my major fucking useless but also I’m pretty useless. I couldn’t even keep an internship for a whole summer. Go figure. Now that I’m single though I feel like I have so many possibilities. I have all the possibilities. Also I have all the outfits to do the possibilities because I’ve been online shopping at 4am. Why? I don’t know. I got this confidence out of nowhere. But I’m going to Gainesville tomorrow and I don’t have a job or anything useful to do besides go on a diet and work out. I will be drinking a lot but I’m hoping omelettes and late night showers are enough to cure my hangovers. Also hopefully I don’t cry in the middle of middletown. That would be awkward. Anyway, back to my future. I thought for a while about going to Switzerland to teach English bc hello laid back lifestyle and basically all the money I make I can travel on the weekends with. I gave that shit up and thought about moving to California with my boyfriend bc he was going to get a job at Google. Guess who didn’t get the job. Am I surprised? NO. This bitch is lazier than me and I’m like dude you’re not an English major you can’t fuck shit up like this. I don’t really like no motivation in guys. The only thing I liked about this boy in particular was his body TBH. Not his dick. Because I’ve done a lot better most of the time. Just his body. Made me realize that I’m not into skinny little twerps anymore. But I’m also not into muscly dudes who think its okay to invite girls to middletown and buy them a drink because they know they have a nice body. Am I bitter? Can you tell? Honestly I’m ready to fuck shit up. But also I know that if I get crazy then he can justify me breaking up with him. So.... What do I do instead? Nothing, my friends. My absence will be noted more than my presence and I’m rather fucking okay with that idea. I do emotional revenge shit not some fucked up shit like slash his tires or something. I would love to have my mom’s clients rough him up though. Actually thinking that may be a good idea. But I know deep down it’s not. And emotional revenge hurts more than physical. That’s how I do. Anyway, about my life because we’re mature bitches and I move past betrayl. So I’ve been depressed for like two years now. Had to go back and edit that. bc I said one year and then I was like wait.. no it’s been 2. Why am I so fucked up? I don’t know. It’s definitely Genetics. Capitalize the genetics because its the devil. Apparently my aunt is depressed and my cousins are high key on addy. Also dat granma got hospitalized for being addicted to Valium which was a thing back in her day but honestly she probably needed some sort of antidepressant. She’s just chillin now. Not leaving the house and shit. Just like my dad does. I told him to go to therapy but he doesn’t listen because I’m #young and I don’t #knowwhatI’mtakingabout. Except I do know what I’m talking about and he’s in denial that he’s depressed and has accepted that he has no friends and no life and thinks its cool to cheat on my mom with her best friend. You go dad. He totally avoided every “cheating bastard” conversation my mom and I had about Kurt yesterday. I’m very disappointed. Why are all the cats awake right now? Are they always up and about in the night time? Probably honestly. Cats are nocturnal. We all know that. But damn that’s hella cool. You fucking get lit in the dark at 4am on a Sunday. I’m fucking there for that. Go cats. Go Panthers. The hockey team. I like hockey. I brought my stupid ex boyfriend to hockey games. Fuck that. ALSO any boy I date from now on is paying for everything. I don’t give a FUCK about equality anymore because I would split checks for the sake of my independence. Fuck that. I’M FUCKING DONE. That’s what I said to Kurt when I broke up with him. He tried to blame shit on the fact that we weren’t going to last forever I’m like fuck that. We were having a grand time until drunk you decided to text some random girl and not me. I looked her up on Facebook btw. Jew nose. That’s all I have to say. And I also told him it’s sad that he can’t make it 6 months with anyone like damn son you were my shortest relationship The problem is not me. It’s you. And I told him I feel sorry for him. That he can’t trust anyone enough to open up. Hope that hurt. Probably not though. One day he’ll realize. And I’ll probably be married by then. Yikes. Why am I still drunk? I mean I’m coherent enough to write my every little thought so obviously I’m not super fucked. Wish I could write some fiction right now. But honestly it would probably be some passive aggressive story about how much boys suck. So I’m not going to do that. Omg I was editing my previous writing and forgot I was online shopping so I’m going to do that now. Note: It’s 6am. Made a $100 order from Tobi. I need a job. Honestly might work at Jimmy Johns for the time being. Because why not. It’s good money. And its cash which is chill. We shall see. Goodnight my friends. I go sleepy sleep.

#personal

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